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#but recently i have been so scared of the idea that i’m never going to have that
moyazaika · 13 hours
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omg doe brought up this AMAZINGGG idea abt the crime lord yan and his lawyer darling hello hey hi!!!!!!
this kinda got away from me because it is 3am but i nEEEEEDED to get this out bjsjsjjs i blame @carnivorousyandeere
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i know i wrote the initial dynamic for his darling to be his lawyer, in that they’re on his side in court to keep him from getting sent to prison BUT BUT BUT hear me out T_T
lawyer darling who put yan kingpin away.
as in ,, you are the reason he was found guilty. you are the one, when the judge announced the final verdict, that his gaze turned to and that he smiled for, then. sentenced to death, before it was appealed to multiple life sentences; the beginning of the end of his empire.
you, you, you — the cause of his downfall.
after the infamous internationally documented case, your career soars to unprecedented heights. you’re the lawyer on every newspaper in every country, all the tv channels and glossy magazines. every law school wants you to speak at their graduation ceremonies. every firm’s reaching out to you. the whole world knows your name; you have everything!
—so why do you keep going back to the man who now has nothing?
the kingpin looks the same as he did that fateful day in court. only now, there’s bags under his eyes, and a five o clock shadow on his jaw; lips still curled in an easygoing smile. he laughs when he sees you, as if the two of you were merely old friends who hadn’t caught up in a while.
as if you’re not visiting him years later in the city’s most high security prison.
he grins. “come to gloat, have ‘ya?”
“you’ve committed countless crimes.” you state. “stolen lives and livelihoods. broken up families. killed good men. and still, all these years later, no remorse?”
“don’t get ‘yer panties in a twist,” he huffs, lazily leans back in the rickety prison chair so that he’s swinging it back and forth on its back legs, like a child. how absurd that even the garish orange uniform of a prison should suit him, “comes with the job description, don’t it?”
“i think about you,” you admit, eyeing the chains that bind his handcuffed hands to the desk in front of him. you look up, meet his gaze through the thick, dirty pane that separates you from him. keeps you safe. out of his reach, if only just.
a low whistle. “you sure know how to make a man feel special, y’know. been followin’ your cases. never put another one like me away, did ‘ya?” he grins. “i like that i’m special. makes me feel all warm ‘nd fuzzy inside.”
“wow,” you let out. “you really have gone insane.”
“always been a ‘lil crazy! like i said, part of the job description. though i’ve been thinkin’ recently,” he starts.
your fascination prompts you to lean closer. a sort of morbid curiosity that yearns to solve the puzzle of his twisted mind, slot the pieces you’ve already got in a way that makes them fit. you’ve got this weird feeling that you’re missing something. a big piece, maybe. one of the central ones.
“thinking about what?” your voice is barely above a whisper, almost conspiratorial. he leans in, too, all wide eyes—
—and then he jerks forward with the chains around the cuffs on his wrists pulled taut as he suddenly yanks them all the way, like a feral dog pulling on its leash. he looks like one, too, with that glint in his eyes.
“fuck!”
you barely even register that you’re on the floor until he laughs, low in his throat. he makes a vague gesture to your chair, toppled over on its side.
“oops.” he says, coyly. “didn’t mean to scare ‘ya.”
“liar,” you hiss, standing up to dust yourself off. this was stupid. why would you even entertain the idea of a civil conversation with a madman?
he gasps dramatically. “this is slander, your honour!”
“i’m leaving,” you scoff. “i don’t even know why i even came down here. you’re clearly fucking crazy.”
“and you’re no fun!” he pouts. “how ‘bout you stay just a little longer and i’ll make it worth ‘yer time, pretty please?”
“no can do,” you turn on your heels and reach for the door, fingers curled around the handle as you spare him one final glance over your shoulder— “have fun rotting in here for the rest of your life, psycho.”
—except the door won’t open. you try again, and again once more. the handle won’t budge. an awful sense of urgency overcomes you as you desperately shake the handle in a futile attempt to get it to just—
“funny ‘yer calling me crazy, ‘cus einstein once said real insanity is doin’ the same thing,” he beams. “over and over and over and over again, and expecting different results. door’s locked, lovely. ‘yer not getting out from there, ‘m afraid.”
you turn back then, still holding onto that door like a lifeline. he’s standing up, rubbing sore wrists that are, you realise with a sinking feeling, no longer bound by the handcuffs that kept him chained; on a short leash, like a good dog.
“what are you doing…?” your voice shakes, and it’s a far cry to the headstrong, unwavering lawyer who put the world’s most notorious criminal behind bars. “what the fuck—”
“i told you i’d make it worth your while t’stay,” he rolls up his sleeves, before pushing all of his hair (longer and greasier than the last you saw him) out of his face, features set in a determination you’ve never glimpsed before. familiar eyes twinkle with mischief. “and i meant it, y’know. the world’s very best lawyer came so far to see me! least i can do is greet ‘em properly.”
“‘cus see, the other prisoners wouldn’t be so nice. but i’ve been thinkin’ about you too.” he pulls his arm back and his fist comes flying at the pane. “don’t wanna have a conversation or nothin’ like that, nah, we talked enough.”
“you’ve been thinking about me, i’ve been waiting around for you…” bloody knuckles against cracks in the one barrier that is keeping you safe from him. you watch, helpless, as it threatens to break beneath the brute force of his trained fists.
“now let me just come over there,” he pulls his arm back again, ready to strike; knuckles raw and red, like the maniacal grin carved onto his pretty, flushed face. a deep blush and a shaky smile as those fists bring it all crashing down. “and show you how much i missed my faaavourite lawyer in the whole wide world.”
“—that be a good enough reason to stick around?” he asks slyly, before catching himself. “oh, silly me.” he shakes his head, apologetically, as he steps over broken shards on the floor, tainted with his blood. “doesn’t matter what ‘ya say.” a low hum when scarred hands reach out for you. “i waited so long for you…”
“… so, let’s make up reaaalllll good for all that lost time, okay?”
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gay-dorito-dust · 5 months
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Hi! I hope your doing well while you read this request! May I ask for HSR Men (Jing Yuan, Blade, Dan Heng, Welt and maybe Boothill) their reaction when after 2 weeks of disappearance from their s/o because of a mission, they came back to them all exhausted and slightly injured. If I can be more precise, can you describe how they acted when they had no news of their s/o et their reaction when they came back please?
Thank you for the attention you’ll give to this request ! I hope you’ll have a great day/night!
-🩵✨
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This is a long one, so brace yourselves! And have a great morning/evening/night! 🦦🐿️
Blade
‘Where have you been?’ Blade hissed, anger laced his voice as he drags you to the nearest surface and eased you on it, keen to avoid worsening your wounds.
‘I was on a mission.’ You sassed, not wanting this to be your first conversation back from a near death experience.
‘I know that,’ he barks as he rummaged through the cabinets for a first aid kit, uncaring do the mess he was making in the process, ‘you’ve been on a mission for two fucking weeks and not once did it come to mind to keep in contact during that time?’ He adds, looking at you with a look that wasn’t angry but instead scared.
Blade had spent the past two weeks going utterly insane form the lack of communication on your end. At first he didn’t think much but by day 12, Blade was more or less ready to included himself in your mission. Unfortunately according to Elio, this wasn’t apart of the script and Blade was made to stay on the sidelines and await your return.
It wouldn’t take long before you came home but you came home in the worst of conditions that Blade had ever seen you in recent memory, and that made him extremely upset. Not at you though, more or less at the person or thing that made those wounds on you.
Communications were down, I had no way of telling you anything.’ You replied, having already grown annoyed at his constant pestering and prodding.
‘Well you should’ve.’ Blade muttered gruffly as he gently took your arm into his hand and examined the wound and had to bite his tongue from saying anything else, but found that task to be a bit too difficult for him. ‘Then I could’ve stopped them from hurting you.’ He added.
You groaned and punched your brow with your free hand, all you wanted to do was go to sleep but couldn’t help but feel warm on the inside at the idea of Blade getting revenge on your behalf. ‘That’s not necessary.’ You told him, trying hard not to wince as he cleaned your wound.
‘And why not?’ He asks, noticing your attempts and wordlessly tries a different approach in cleaning your wound.
‘They’re all dead.’ You replied nonchalantly and Blade couldn’t help but smile. ‘That’s my partner.’ He says but the smile soon falls as he finished patching your wound and looks you dead in the eyes. ‘However the next time you’re sent on a long mission I’m coming with, no excuses.’
You groan again, there was no winning with this man.
Jing yuan was trusting in your abilities to keep yourself safe but the longer he went without update of you nor progression of the mission, Jing Yuan grew worried that something had happened.
He already lost a lot, he didn’t need your loss on top of all that. He lost hope on appreciating that he was living once, he knew that if anything happened to you he would relapse into those old ways but with no chance of recovery.
He would try and fail many attempts of making contact with you, only to be met with static as a responses which didn’t exactly help his hope in seeing you that slowly began to dwindle the longer he tried, until he stopped trying all together.
In his mind you were gone a long time ago and he should start his grieving while he could.
However you did come back, but not exactly in the best shape…you were wounded and exhausted but to Jing Yuan you never looked more alive in that moment as he was quick to get you medical attention. Not once did the general think to leave your leave your side as you laid out on the bed, wounds patched up and fast asleep from everything.
He even slept in the chair next to your bed, making sure your sleep went undisturbed and had a familiar face to wake up to as to not feel misplaced somewhere foreign. Jing Yuan didn’t feel entirely comfortable in leaving you alone during this time, especially when you’re vulnerable and susceptible to a plethora of things.
Not when he barely avoided a possibility of never seeing you again. He didn’t care for the reasons why you couldn’t contact him, those can wait for another time, he only cared that you were back by his side and alive.
So he’d fall asleep with his hand laced with yours and his head resting on your lap, acting like your personal guard dog as he kept his body facing towards the door in the instant he had to protect you.
No one would take you from him again, mission or not, you were staying by his side from now on, generals orders.
Dan heng didn’t think much when you didn’t reach out and tell him about the things you’ve found that he might like whilst away, however that didn’t mean he didn’t have a bad feeling about all of it.
He did but he couldn’t prove why as it was too early into the mission to say why he felt that way. Dan Heng always trusted his instincts when it came moments of uncertainty as they’ve always been proven correct. However this was the one time where he really didn’t want that to be the case.
Yet the longer he went without the regular flow of communication between the two of you during missions, Dan Heng felt himself break out into a cold sweat during the night and out of breath from experiencing another nightmare where you didn’t come back from this mission, leaving him utterly heartbroken and lost for the rest of his days.
He couldn’t close his eyes for a single second without the nightmare flooding back to haunt him of a potential future without you, his other half.
He even had nightmares where you were calling out to him for help but he couldn’t hear them and was forced by an higher power to ignore your soundless cries and walk away unbothered. Those were the nightmares Dan Heng hated the most as there would never be a moment in his life where he would ever leave you to such a cruel fate; He’d be more than gladly suffer with you than ever abandon you.
So the moment you came home wounded and exhausted, Dan Heng didn’t waste time in getting you to medical, taking everything the doctor told him to help you heal seriously as your newly appointed caregiver. Some of the time he came across as strict but he meant well as all he wanted was for you to get better and soon, seeing as how you gave him the biggest fright of his life.
He doesn’t let anyone else near you.
You can blame it on his dragon noodle side as it grew overprotective of the fact that you -his mate- were in seemingly left in a vulnerable state. He didn’t care to listen to the reasonings as to why he should let anyone else come near you, not without knowing their intentions in descriptive depth, he could take care of you himself perfectly fine and without any outside help.
He was your partner, you were his responsibility but this was all just an excuse to hide the fact that Dan Heng was genuinely scared of letting you out of his sight, even if it was for five minutes because a lot could happen in five minutes. So now he stays close to you from then on as a precaution, holding your hand in his and squeezing it as thought he was trying to convince himself that you were actually with him weeks afterwards.
Boothill didn’t like the idea of you being so far from him and much preferred for you to stay in contact if you were going to be so far away from him for so long.
However nothing seemed to want to go the way he wanted as soon as he found that he couldn’t contact you. None of his messages were going through and neither were his calls, as he read and reread the message that said you were out of the area for his messages to get through to you.
Boothill grew more and more restless the longer his texts didn’t go through, still claiming you were out of the area, whatever the hell that means and had to actively find ways to de stress because of how often he found himself on the verge of blasting anything and everything that moved.
You were his anchor, his partner in crime and his voice of reason, without you Boothill was teetering on the brink of becoming everyone’s problem should you spend even another hour more away from him.
So when you did come back with wounds scarred across your body and looking as though you were on the brink of collapse, Boothill was made more worried than before. Your wounds weren’t very deep nor life threatening but Boothill didn’t care, you were hurt and he wasn’t made aware of it for the past two weeks.
He wanted to hunt down the bastards who made those wounds on your body and make them pay, regardless if they had a bounty on their heads or not, he’d gladly hunt them down just to set an example as to why you don’t fuck with Boothill’s loved one.
‘Don’t.’ You croaked, grabbing his hand. ‘Just stay with me and make everything okay cowboy.’
Boothill, not one to argue with you, especially not in your current state, obeyed your wish and stayed by your side as you slowly but surely recovered from your wounds with scars left behind as reminders.
Though that didn’t stop him from going off behind your back to hunt the bastards down, he never could let go of a grudge after all.
Welt basically worried himself sick when he didn’t hear anything from you the first couple of days, but was soon talked down from doing anything rash that could potentially put you in even more danger, regardless of his intention of being by your side.
Welt was restless for the remainder of the two weeks, double checking his phone for anything that could push him over the edge and force him into acting.
What happened to you?
Why weren’t you responding?
Were you hurt?
Were you in danger and he didn’t know?
So many thoughts floated in welt’s mind as he was left feeling powerless as he was forced to await your return, hoping that all his thoughts were just that, meaningless thoughts that had no real affect in reality.
He was wrong.
You did come home but you came back with some new wounds and a face that screamed exhaustion. You barely took one step before collapsing into Welt’s arms as he got you medical help.
‘What happened out there?’ He’d calmly ask one day as he held your hand, thumb rubbing the back of it reassuringly.
‘Communications were down,’ you told him as you squeezed his hand, just happy to be back home and with him, ‘then the mission went south as I found myself out of my depth on several occasions, I’m sorry Welt.’ You finish weakly.
‘There’s nothing to be sorry for.’ Welt reassures as he presses a kiss to your forehead. ‘Not all missions go according to plan and all that matters right now is that you’re safe, so please don’t apologise for things beyond your control.’ He adds as he watched you slowly drift to sleep, still feeling a little exhausted from the mission and everything that happened.
Welt stayed awake for a little while longer to commemorate this moment to memory, to treasure it during the moments when you were to be apart from one another again, but until that time Welt would hold you as close as he possibly could and keep you safe to the best of his abilities. Your safety meant a lot to him and he’d rather jeopardise his own safety if it meant that you’d never get hurt again, he’d do it in a heartbeat because that’s just how much you meant to him and todays events only solidified that.
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yandere-daydreams · 2 months
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Title: Homesickness.
Pairing: Yandere!Silver x Reader (TWST).
Word Count: 1.6k.
Commissioned by the very lovely @felix-the-lemon-king.
TW: Unhealthy Relationships, Physical Intimidation, Arranged Marriages, and Manipulation.
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“You’re going to miss the ball, beloved.”
You flinched into yourself as you heard his voice, accompanied by the sound of clipped heels against stone floors and the slight reverberation of both disruptions against barren walls. A foolish, naïve part of you had convinced the rest that a royal guard – no, a general would have too much pride to be found absent from his own betrothal celebrations, let alone be seen in a servant’s hall, but you should’ve known better. There were many in Briar Valley who let their pride distort their vision, countless who allowed their rank and titles to overshadow even their most basic sense of rationality. Silver was, tragically, not among them.
And Silver was, tragically, the only resident of the valley you were engaged to.
You didn’t rush to respond. Patiently, you counted the seconds until he was standing at the base of the stairwell you’d took refuge in – not unlike the way you used to hide in spare bedrooms and vacant parlors as a child, whenever your parents were entertaining guests who had too many questions about your pointed ears and the scales on the backs of your hands. And, tangentially, you couldn’t say the bolt of dread that would always strike your chest when you heard you parents calling you out of that day’s chosen hiding place was totally dissimilar to the fear that knotted in the back of your throat as Silver stepped into your line of sight, coming to stand in the doorway at the stairwell’s base. He was still dressed in his regalia, his clothing evenly divided between the pitch-black armor of the royal guards and the formal attire that would be expected, given the occasion. His sword was sheathed at his waist – a sight that, weeks ago, might’ve made you somewhat wary, but that you’d since grown desensitized to. No part of you found comfort in the fact that he seemed to be constantly within arm’s reach of a weapon, but it was hard to be scared of something he never seemed to draw.
It took him a moment to find you in the darkness, his eyes more limited by it than your own, but he seemed to soften as his gaze finally landed on you. “You’ll miss the ball,” he repeated, his tone concerned rather than irritated. Another small blessing – for a knight, your betrothed seemed remarkably slow to anger. “Is something wrong? I know Malleus took charge of the arrangements, but if something doesn’t suit your preferences, I can—”
“It’s beautiful,” you assured, because it was. Because it had been. Because for any little girl from the Briar Valley or any other fae land had been in your place, this all would’ve been nothing short of a dream come true, but you weren’t a little girl, and you weren’t from Briar Valley, and you found very few things beautiful about the idea of getting married at all, let alone to a man you had only recently met. “It’s only…” You curled your hands around the fabric of your own attire. “I’m afraid I’m just… not very good at parties, I guess. I’m sorry.”
You half-expected Silver to frown, to urge you back to the banquet hall he’d come from, but he only sighed, shaking his head in a sympathetic sort of way before taking to the stairs and seating himself beside you, leaving a measured gap between your body and his. “You don’t have to apologize. I know you’re not used to being here, just yet.” He paused, flashed a small smile in your direction. Even at the best of times, you struggled to read his expression – not because he was overly cold, but because he always seemed to radiate that same uncanny, only a touch above off-putting warmth. At least a portion of it had to be insincere. Fae or human, there wasn’t a person alive who could be so consistently affable. “It took me months to adjust, the first time I left the valley. Everything was so alien – if I hadn’t been travelling with my father, I wouldn’t have lasted more than a day.”
It was difficult, but you did your best to smile, to laugh. Although your pairing had seemed strange at first, it did make a twisted kind of sense – a fae born without magic, raised by the human nobility of a country with only negligible ties to Briar Valley, arranged to marry a human with magical prowess in spades, raised in service of a fae king, for the mutual benefit of their homelands. You wouldn’t have been surprised to find out it was a part of some elaborate joke, the type it was rumored your kin were so fond of. It was only unfortunate that you had to be the target of their humor.
“The dark bothers me more than anything,” you admitted, before you could think better of it. “Where I come from, it’s almost always sunny. Having to live someplace without light and with so little warmth—” And so many cruel faces, and so many gnashing teeth, “—I suppose I’m at a bit of a loss.”
“It’s not always like this.” It was the most eagerly you’d ever seen him speak. “You’ve come during a poor season for it, but the view from the castle’s highest tower on a clear day is one of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen, and the valley’s coasts get much more sun. I’ve heard they tend to hold their festivals around this time of year, too.” He seemed to pause, to consider, then went on, “After the wedding, I’d be my pleasure to take you to one.”
At that, you let yourself relax. He was aloof, sure, but he was kind, too. You could be thankful for that, if nothing else. “I was planning to return home as soon as possible, but I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to stay a little longer.”
“Of course.” If you hadn’t known better, you would’ve thought you heard him moving closer to you. “Malleus suggested we continue to stay in the castle while you settle, but… it would be nice, if we had our own home.”
Your delicate smile wavered. “Silver, I know we haven’t talked about this but—”
“Unless you’d like to stay here, I mean. But, I’d still like to show you the cabin where—”
“Silver,” you tried, again, letting out an exasperated laugh. “I meant that I’m not going to stay in the valley at all after the wedding. I understand why I’ve been asked to marry you, and it’s not that I haven’t enjoyed my time here, but—” Another laugh, a pleading glance in his direction. “I don’t belong here, as you wouldn’t belong anywhere but Briar Valley. You know that, don’t you?”
Now, it was Silver’s turn to go quiet. When you found the nerve to look toward him, you found him staring blankly ahead, his lips ever so slightly quirked downward. Huh.
So that was what he looked like, after he’d gone cold.
You didn’t see him draw his sword. His hand was on his hilt, grip tight enough to bleed the color from his knuckles, and then, your back was pressed against the harsh slant of the staircase, the flat of his blade pressed to the base of your throat and Silver above you. You didn’t scream. You didn’t move. You might’ve forgotten to breathe, too, if you hadn’t been shocked enough to let out a single, airy gasp – just loud enough to be audible.
“After the wedding,” he started, speaking slowly, carefully, as if he was afraid you might not understand. “I think you should remain in the valley, with me. I’ll build us a house – a cabin not far from the castle – and you’ll be safe and warm for as long as I can take care of you. Would you like that?”
You opened your mouth, but suddenly couldn’t remember how to move your tongue. Silver angled his wrist, the slant of his blade pressing into tender flesh. “Would you like that, beloved?”
“I---” You forced yourself to swallow, to shut your eyes. “I want to go home, Silver.”
This time, you felt something razor-sharp and frigid bite into the skin just below your jawline, drawing the thinnest possible trail of blood. “And you will.” Then, after a measured pause, “And that home will be with me.”
He wasn’t cruel enough to make you say it aloud. All it took was a quick nod, a pathetically fractured whimper, and he was drawing back, returning his sword to its sheath as he pushed himself to his feet. There was no mention of swords or cabins or the blood now dripping down your neck – only long, weighted look, the implications of which you didn’t wish to examine. “Stay here.” Almost reflexively, you moved to stand, but all it took was a tilt of his head and a flash of his blade to have you falling back into place, paralyzed. “I’ll tell Malleus that you won’t be returning. When I’m finished, we’ll return to our chambers together.”
You hadn’t formerly been sharing chambers, but pointing that out felt redundant, if not entirely useless.
You watched as he started to turn away, only to hesitate and return to you. With a deliberate kind of slowness, he lowered himself onto one knee in front of you, taking your limp hand in his. “Of all the people I could’ve been betrothed to, I’ve found myself increasingly glad that I’m betrothed to you.”
His smile was warmer than it ever had been, and yet, you’d never felt so cold.
“And, eventually, I know you’ll feel the same.”
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hoe4hotchner · 27 days
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Heyy! I had this idea with hotch
Imagine he’s dating a doctor but he hasn’t told anyone but Dave yet. And remember the fisher king episode when Spencer jumps from that bomb? So during a case hotch jumps from a bomb (he’s fine but he goes to the hospital anyway to check if everything is okay) and while he and the team is waiting on the doctor to check his wounds, guess who shows up? His furious girlfriend ready to freak out about her boyfriend dangerous work. And hotch just stays quiet and listens to her/them (you choose) and the team is just there watching their grumpy scary boss being scolded like a little kid.
Idk why but I loved the idea of the scary grumpy unit chief hotch being so whipped for his partner that he doesn’t even argue when she’s/they're mad at him :)
I love this idea!!! I had to stop myself I could've made it into a whole thing hehehe.
A/N: I swear to god me and a few CM writers had this discussion years ago and I don't remember what the conclusion of Hotch's middle name ended up being. If anyone remembers please remind me ;)
Link to my requests
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The team sat in the exam room, all tense after the recent case. Hotch seated on the bed in the middle, waiting to be discharged. Except for a few burn wounds on his right arm, he was otherwise fine.
“You know, Hotch, you could’ve just asked for a day off. Jumping on a bomb seems a bit extreme,” Morgan chuckled, breaking the silence while trying to lighten the mood.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Hotch replied, his voice stoic as usual.
Suddenly, a door at the end of the hall burst open, and a voice echoed through the corridor. “AARON JAMES HOTCHNER!” You stormed into his room, eyes blazing with fury. “What on earth were you thinking?”
Before Hotch had the chance to respond, you continued, “Jumping on a bomb? Do you have any idea how reckless that was? You could’ve been killed!”
“Did she just call him Aaron?” Emily whispered to JJ.
“I think she did,” JJ murmured back, both of them wide-eyed.
Rossi tried to stifle a grin, while the rest of the team watched in shock, realizing for the first time that Hotch was dating a doctor.
“And don’t you dare tell me it was part of the job! Your job is to stay alive so you can come home in one piece, not to play hero with your life!” You sighed, your anger giving way to worry. “Aaron, please… I can’t keep doing this if you’re going to keep risking your life like this. I need you to be careful.”
Hotch finally spoke, his voice low and sincere. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’ll be more careful, I promise.” You hugged him, relieved that he was okay.
The team exchanged glances, a mixture of surprise and amusement on their faces. This was a side of Aaron Hotchner they’ve never seen before.
“You better be,” you said firmly. “And next time, you call me as soon as you’re in the hospital. I don’t want to hear about it from someone else.”
You give him a pointed look before exiting the room, leaving the team in stunned silence.
After a moment, Morgan was the first to break the quiet. “Hotch, you didn’t tell us you were dating a doctor,” he said with a grin on his lips.
“I didn’t think it was relevant.”
“Not relevant?” Emily chimed in, in disbelief. “Hotch, they just chewed you out in front of the whole team. I think it’s pretty relevant.”
Hotch just shrugs, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.
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alexiapp · 4 months
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Next Step With You
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Alexia Putellas x Reader
Summary: You and Alexia finally have the talk about Kids…
Note: I’ve been gone for so fucking long because of how insanely busy i’ve been but, i’m totally hoping on posting constantly and not keeping empty promises 😭..i’ve had an insane amount of writers block also so keep that in mind!! This isn’t my best work but it’ll have to do !
You never thought that you would be in love. You thought you were unlovable or maybe incapable of finding your ‘true one’. You presumed that maybe it was your strong personality or your high standards that caused these problems. You always had trouble with relationships, and had a couple horror stories when it came to your past love life. You always that you were the problem, until you met Alexia. She made you feel something that you never thought you would be able to experience. You felt giddy inside, and content. There wasn’t a dull moment between her and I.
Alexia was charming, and very charismatic and she also has a strong personality which drew you into her. Recently you guys have been entering a new chapter of your relationship. This year would be marking the 4th year you have been together. You couldn’t see your life without Alexia, it just wouldn’t feel right. You wanted to bring new milestones to you guys relationship. Everything you envision had Alexia in it.
You wanted to add an addition to you guys relationship badly..You wanted to build a family between the two of you. You only started feeling this way until you saw how attentive Alexia was towards kids, it always made you wonder how she’d be if you guys had kids. You knew deep down in your heart that Alexia would be an amazing mother, but you didn’t know if Alexia wanted to take that next step with you or if she was even ready. It’s something you’ve been hesitant to bring up, these loud thoughts always stayed in the back of your mind. You don’t wanna scare her away..imagine how crazy you’d looked if she didn’t feel the same way..i mean what if she thought you were a total nut case. This steered you away from Alexia, making you kind of cold and distance.
This situation made you second guess a lot of things. You took an immature approach, usually the average person would talk it out with there significant other in an healthy manner, but you being you, were quite stubborn and decided to isolate yourself. You started declining her offers to go out when she put the idea out there. You guys once long text messages turned into short and brief on your end no matter how hard the poor woman tried to carry the conversation.
You assumed Alexia didn’t notice how cold you’ve been ..Oh boy were you wrong. She was was in deep stress her mind was constantly racing wondering what she could’ve possibly done wrong. Trying to remember moments where she could’ve possibly said the wrong thing that might’ve hurt or offended you in any way. She was determined to get to the bottom of this and handle it quickly, she genuinely couldn’t take not having you around any longer.
After settling down and drowning in her thoughts she decided the only way to get your attention is by catching you at in unexpected moment. She decided she’d venture to your apartment without giving you any head’s up. She didn’t want you to find another excuse to brush her off and ignore her, she wanted to talk to you and get you back. She was determined and ready to do whatever it takes.
The determined blonde quickly grabbed her phone and car keys headed straight for your flat ready to corner you.
You were brought out of a day dream when you heard a knock on your apartment door. You got up and walked over to your door with confusion written all over your face. You weren’t expecting a visitor or any packages. Shock washed over you when you were met with a very agitated and worried blonde. The last person you wanted to see.
Your once confused face was replaced with a very shocked expression.
“Um..hi?” you muttered out in surprise at what you were faced with.
“Why have you been ignoring me” Said the hazel eyed woman as she pushed through into your apartment door.
“i..i haven’t been, i’ve just been very busy i-“ you said as you staggered your words.
“Don’t like to me, you know how much i hate when people lie” the blonde woman said cutting you off in your lousy excuse as to why you haven’t been very present in you guys relationship.
“You’ve been brushing me off, you’ve been texting me less and less. I want to know what i did wrong so i could fix it”. She said with fury in her voice.
“There’s nothing you can do, to stop me from me feeling how i feel right now Alexia” You said nervously.
“Then what is it! I need to know what it is so we can fix it. I want us to fix this” she said waving her hand between you and her.
“I feel like if i tell you what it is, our relationship would be over” you said with a meek expression.
“amor whatever it is we can try and get past it, i just have to know” she said gently as she walked towards you grabbing your hands as a form of comfort. She could tell you were nervous about what you wanted to say next.
“There’s things that i want to do in our relationship that you might not be ready for Alexia, and i don’t want that to jeopardize what we have.” You said conflicted on weather you should open up to her or not
“Hey, no matter what is bothering you, we can fix it and hopefully move past it..i promise” she said as she rubbed her thumb across my hand.
“I want us to have kids..i want to have kids with you, and i didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to scare you off i didn’t want you to think i’m so crazy person. I see myself starting a family with you..” You said with fear in your voice. You were almost quivering with fear on how she would react. You were shut down when you heard the woman in front of you hysterically laugh.
Oh no…she thought you were a joke, she must think you’re a loser..you told yourself, emotions bathing in a pool insecurity. You broke your hand away from her turning away in rejection. “ I knew this would happen, i just knew you wouldn’t take me seriously” you said with hurt and regret in your voice.
You turned your body away from her not wanting her to see how hurt you truly were.
“I’m sorry, come here” she said trying to make you turn towards her.
“i’m not laughing at you about what you said, i’m laughing because why wouldn’t you think i want that also?” she said chuckling lightly. She placed her fairly large hands on her face cupping your cheeks softly and said “why would i want to do that. There isn’t anyone i wouldn’t rather start a family with” she said shaking her head at your ridiculousness.
“I just thought that maybe you’d think that we’re moving to fast, i was just scared” you said looking into her hazel eyes.
“vale, firstly their isn’t anyway i could see life without you..let alone my future with you not being in it, if you told me how you felt ahead of time this wouldn’t be our outcome” she said has she brushed her thumb against your cheekbone
“Amor, you have to communicate with me when you’re feeling this vale ?” she said shaking her head to try to get me to understand. Which i nodded in response.
I leaned in and pecked the blonde’s lips, you were suddenly thrown over her shoulder, making you giggle in surprise “Let’s practice making that baby sí!” as she carried you to your apartment bedroom.
I’ll grammar check later !!
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Yoongi Fic Recommendations Part 2
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a - angst f - fluff s - smut
part 1
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Series
Miss Dial (s) by @versigny ⊹₊⋆ [11:31] You: okay so i’m texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting yoongi and telling him how badly i want his cock tonight. Arent you proud?
[11:32] unknown number: this is yoongi, hi 
Please Be Naked (a f s) (ft. namjoon) by @floralseokjin ⊹₊⋆ Recently heartbroken, it feels like you’ll never be able to get over it. But a chance encounter with a guy you haven’t seen in months changes everything…  
One Shots
want a taste? (f s) by @suga-kookiemonster ⊹₊⋆ pretzel pro. most skillful tongue in the food court world. allegedly. that’s what yoongi keeps telling you, anyway. of course, you’re reasonably skeptical of his claims—but if there’s one thing that motivates the notoriously-lethargic man, it’s proving skeptics wrong.
take care of you (f s) by @kookslastbutton ⊹₊⋆ To keep your fiance from burning out you suggest a weekend getaway to Gapyeong, a charming town about an hour outside Seoul. You've specifically asked him to leave his work equipment at home but like a deep rooted habit, he still brings it with him. You're left with no choice but to find a way to get his attention back.
You Broke Me (f) by @7ndipity ⊹₊⋆ Just clingy, fluffy Yoongi after Reader comes home after a month-long trip
Shy (s) by @7ndipity ⊹₊⋆ You’re desperately craving your boyfriend's attention, but are too shy to ask for it outright. Luckily, Yoongi knows what you want anyway.
Sweet Spot (s f) by @cultleaderyoongi ⊹₊⋆ Three months into dating, Yoongi ponders what the perfect scenario for a love confession would be. There's no manual stating when and where and how is appropriate. It's only convenient when his body reacts faster than his brain, doing the job for him.
Eargasm (s) by @lavishedinjimin ⊹₊⋆ The idea of having your first ever orgasm by talking to a hot, random stranger through your phone scares the living hell out of you, but maybe it won’t be as bad as you think.
F*ck Christmas (a f s) by @sailoryooons ⊹₊⋆ Making hating Christmas your entire personality was never the plan. Then again, it seems bad things only ever happen around Christmas - like discovering your fiancé cheating on you, forcing you to move back to your sleepy hometown. But Min Yoongi happens to love Christmas, and if there is one thing your very stubborn childhood crush is going to do, it’s try to reignite your Christmas spirit. Even if he has to force-feed it to you with gingerbread cookies and too-sweet eggnog.
Workaholic (s) by @hobiwonder ⊹₊⋆ Yoongi needs to relax and Hoseok has many tricks up his sleeve to make him. None of them Yoongi thought included hiring a hooker to pay him a visit one stormy night. You were only trying to escape a crazed man chasing you down on a stormy night. Never was your intention to end up in an attractive man’s house. Definitely not one who thought you were a hooker. 
Backtrack (s) (ft. jimin) by @mapofthesea ⊹₊⋆ There’s no telling just how long you'd been stuck in the windowless studio, and you’re just about ready to walk out and forfeit your paycheck for the week, until your bosses strike up an interesting bargain.
the pink pill (s) by @dollfaceksj ⊹₊⋆ In each of these universes, you find yourself consuming what is known as the pink pill. This pill is essentially a drug that enhances your libido to the max and you’ll quite literally never experience arousal like you do when you’ve taken this pill. Thankfully, in each universe, there’s a man that’s ready to help you explore and reach your peak of sexual euphoria.
all night (s) (ft. namjoon) by @axigailxo ⊹₊⋆ in which listening to music during a smoke sesh with your best friends namjoon and yoongi in the studio turns into much more
damn the charcuterie board. (s) (ft. jimin) by @bratkook
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girlgenius1111 · 2 months
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healing
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alexia putellas x reader you don't like to admit when something is wrong, alexia knows this. she also knows that with a a scheduled surgery coming up for you, she'd have to wade through these hidden emotions as best she could to support you. basically, r has a breast reduction surgery, and alexia does her best to take care of her, even when r is a bit resistant. this is, obviously, very self indulgent. potentially the most self indulgent fic i've ever written. it's very reflective of my experiences recently so. you know. i hope you enjoy. hugeeeeee thanks to @pickledwoso who sent the request in and gave me sooo many ideas to work with.
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You sat up with a loud gasp, clutching at your chest. The specifics of the nightmare evaded you instantly, but you knew it had been horrifying. Filled with needles and doctors and knives and pain. 
“Amor?” Alexia mumbled groggily, emerging from where she was curled up under the covers, despite it being a warm evening.  She had barely been dragged from sleep by the sound you had made, only one eye cracking open to look at you.“You okay?” 
Unable to say much in response, you could only whimper quietly and shake your head. Alexia was wide awake in a second, sitting up and tilting your face towards her.
 “Ale-” You cut yourself off with a sob, leaning forward to bury your face in your girlfriend’s soft sleep shirt. 
Shaking once more, Alexia pulled you into her, cradling your body close. “What is wrong, mi amor?” 
“I-I… nightmare. I had a nightmare.” You admitted, too far gone into panic to try to hide your anxiety from your girlfriend. Alexia didn’t say much for a while, just nodding her head to show that she’d heard you, before she got to work calming you down. She did it rather easily, reminding you to breathe, stroking her fingers through your hair. She was soft, gentle, loving, and her affection bled through every light touch. Alexia always cared for you so easily; she made it seem simple. 
“Easy, just like that amor. In and out, slowly. It was just a dream, you’re right here with me. You’re okay.” 
It took a few minutes for you to calm down, and even still, you were still practically vibrating with anxiety. Alexia shifted over so that you were curled against her chest, and she could lean back against the headboard. With your face barely visible buried into her shirt, your girlfriend couldn’t really tell if you were still crying or not. Breathing steadier, for sure, but the sniffles coming from you every so often told Alexia that you were still very upset. 
The blonde began to run her fingers through your hair, massaging gently at your scalp. “Do you want to talk about it?” 
You were quiet for so long, she was sure you’d fallen back asleep. “I don’t remember what happened. It was about the surgery I think.” You murmured finally. “I’m a little nervous, I guess.” 
Alexia repressed a sigh. It was beyond clear to her, and had been for weeks, that you were more than mildly anxious about your scheduled breast reduction. She’d been waiting, less and less patiently, for you to just tell her how scared you were, but now the night before your surgery, she knew she couldn’t let this go on any longer. 
Wrapping both her arms tight around you, she pulled you even closer before she spoke. “It seems like you are maybe more than a little nervous, hmm?”
“Why do you say that?”
“You seem completely terrified, mi amor.”
“I am nervous, but I know I want to do this. I’m sure, Ale, I’ve made my mind up, and I-”
“You can still be nervous, even if you feel confident in your decision. That’s okay, amor. Why would you think it’s not?” 
“I… I just didn’t want you to try to change my mind.” 
“Why would I do that?” She sounded confused, and logically, you knew why. Ale was a deeply respectful person, and she’d never ever presume to tell you what to do with your body. Ever.
 No reply came, and Alexia realized you’d begun to tremble again. Frowning, she gently guided your chin up so she could look into your eyes, less than content with the anxiety so clear on your face. “Amor, talk to me. Please.” 
“What if you don’t like them? You know… after?” 
Alexia could have laughed at the completely ridiculous notion, but she saw the wet shine in your eye that told her you were completely serious. “Do not be silly. I will love them. ” She insisted. 
“You love them now.” You argued. “They won’t be the same.” 
Carefully, Alexia took your face in between her hands, insistently gazing down at you. “I know. They’ll be different. They won’t hurt you so much anymore, and that is all I want. Nothing will make me happier than you feeling better. I will love them, just like I love you.” She promised, her voice low and soothing. “You could get them removed completely, you could do anything, and it wouldn’t change how I feel about you. This is your body, mi amor. I love your body, and I will love it even when it changes.” 
“But… it doesn’t have to change.” Chewing on your lip, you took in your girlfriend’s completely puzzled expression. 
“I don’t understand. It doesn’t have to change, but you want it to, no?”
“I… don’t you think I’m being dramatic about this? A whole surgery just for some back pain…” Your words were not things you really believed. You knew you weren’t being dramatic, and you knew you were getting this done because of more than just back pain, although if you had, that would have been okay too. You’d just spent the last years hearing from your family and your doctors that you were being dramatic about your pain and the issues that came with having an absurdly large chest. Even getting a surgeon to agree to do the surgery was difficult, though you wouldn’t have even gotten there at all without Alexia. 
Not until you were with her, did you find yourself being believed. When you said you were hurting, she believed you. She wasn’t skeptical that you were exaggerating, or just looking for attention. It was this earnest belief that had you reconsidering, and ultimately deciding on, a breast reduction. Now, though, the years that people had spent belittling you and your struggles were rushing back to you, and you very suddenly felt like you were being ridiculous. 
The lights flickered on in the bedroom, and Alexia rolled back over to you. Having been lost in your thoughts, you’d missed her roll away to turn the bedside lamp on, and now she was studying you with a focused look on her face; one you knew to mean she was concerned. 
Her hand found yours, and she absentmindedly pulled the shoulder of your shirt back up as she spoke. “It is not a little back pain. It is debilitating. This affects your whole life, amor, you’ve wanted this for years. You know you aren’t being dramatic. Where is this coming from, hmm?” 
There was a deep reluctance in you to tell Alexia what you’d been through in the past with doctors and your family alike. You weren’t sure where it came from, or why it was so persistent, but you were too exhausted to fight it. Too terrified to even think of doing something that would make your anxiety spike. 
Your girlfriend seemed to sense this reluctance, because she brought your intertwined hands to her lips, leaving a kiss on your knuckles. A part of you had expected her to be annoyed for not talking, but another part of you knew better. Alexia didn’t get mad about stuff like that. All she had for you now was a sweet smile, and another kiss for your cheek that had you blushing unnecessarily. 
“We don’t have to talk about it.” She promised, mumbling the words against your face as she interspersed kisses in between her words. “You are not being dramatic. Your body changing does not bother me, could never bother me. I love you, and everything is going to be okay.” 
Entire body seemingly deflating, you leaned heavily into your girlfriend, torn between exhaustion, anxiety, and the overwhelming feeling of being adored. It wasn’t one were sure you’d ever get used to. With your face tucked into Alexia’s chest, it was hard to feel anything but safe and reassured, so you focused on the soft fabric of her shirt against your cheek, instead of what would be occurring the following morning. 
“I love you.” You murmured, burrowing in closer when your girlfriend tightened her arms around you. “Ale?”
“Hmm?”
“Will you come with me tomorrow? And stay?” You hated the vulnerability seeping from your words, didn’t want Alexia to ever see you as pathetically as you saw yourself. 
She only nodded, though, rubbing your back slowly. “Of course, cariño.” 
“It’s not too late to get out of training?” 
Alexia gave you a soft smile, though slightly embarrassed, rubbing her thumb across your cheek affectionately. “I am already called out, mi amor. I was going to stay anyway.”
“You were?” You asked with a shy grin. 
Alexia nodded enthusiastically. “Of course. I thought you might change your mind, and if you didn’t, well… I would have just pretended to go to training. I want to be there for you, and I would not be able to focus anyway.” 
You were overcome, for a moment, with affection for your girlfriend. She always seemed to anticipate what you’d need even before you knew herself. There was something about not only being loved, but known by Alexia that made you feel like the most special person in the world. You felt it even more when she placed the gentlest of kisses on your lips, and smiled at you just enough that the dimples on her cheeks appeared. 
“I am so lucky to have you.” You murmured, feeling emotion tug at you once again. 
Alexia shook her head with a grin, almost exasperated. “It always amazes me that you think you are the lucky one, when it is me. Because you are perfect and beautiful and I love you.” 
Before you could reply, and begin a back and forth of who was luckier, Alexia had pulled you to lay down practically on top of her, stretching her long arm to turn the bedside lamp off. 
“You need to rest, amor.” She insisted. And though when you’d woken from the nightmare, you had been sure you wouldn’t be sleeping any more tonight, there was something so soothing about being held so securely against your girlfriend. Your eyes began to shut of their own accord when she began to run her fingers through your hair, and you wondered briefly if there was anything Alexia couldn’t do.
------
The following morning came much too quickly. The first alarm went off at 6, only rousing you. Knowing you still had 15 minutes before you had to get up and get ready, you curled yourself back into Alexia’s side, shutting your eyes tightly and pretending that today was no different than any other day. Of course, the persistent anxious shaking of your body woke your girlfriend, though, an alarm in and of itself. 
It took her a second to realize what had woken her, as she couldn’t hear the alarm going off. Soon, though, she processed the way you were clinging to her, feeling her heart simultaneously melt and break.
“Oh, mi amor.” Alexia sighed, sliding her hand up the back of your shirt and splaying it across your spine, knowing you liked to feel her skin on yours. 
“Sorry I woke you early.” You whispered. 
“Don’t be sorry. I am always happy for 15 extra minutes to lay with you.” She said sweetly, tucking her face into your hair and sighing contentedly. She knew that if she kept herself calm, and didn’t react to your anxiety with her own, you’d be able to stay calmer. 
It felt like only minutes later that your second alarm was going off, and you groaned into your girlfriend’s chest as it did. Extracting herself from your rather tenacious grip, Alexia quickly rose from the bed and walked around to your side, grabbing your hand before you could bury yourself under the covers. 
“No hiding, amor. Time to be brave for me, sí?” 
Not one to deny any of your girlfriend’s requests, you let her tug you from the bed with a pout, one she very determinedly kissed off your face. Once she was done with that, she pulled you into the bathroom. 
“Okay. Shower quickly, I will eat something, and then we leave at 7:03.” She said, as if that was a normal time to plan to leave. You were long used to Alexia’s strict punctuality, though, so you just shook your head fondly at her. It was only when she attempted to pull away from you that your anxiety really rose, and you clung onto her hand with a look of panic on your face. 
Alexia turned back to you, expression completely open, as if she was ready to do whatever you needed her to do to feel better. 
“Shower with me?” You asked shakily, looking up at your girlfriend with wide eyes. 
“Siempre, guapa.” 
Your movements were practically robotic as you undressed yourself and allowed Alexia to guide you into the shower. For a moment, you allowed yourself to just rest against her under the warm stream of water, forcing yourself to breathe in and out slowly. As always when you showered together, Alexia insisted on washing you herself. Somehow, she knew that you needed to use the special medical soap on your chest, but could use your regular body wash everywhere else. 
You thought you caught a glimpse of sadness as she gently washed over your chest, and she must have felt you stiffen under her hands, because she was tilting your chin up and looking down at you, forehead crinkled in concern. 
“Are you sure you won’t hate what I look like after?” You asked, voice wobbling. 
Your girlfriend’s face softened. “I am sure. I will love you all the same.”
“You won’t miss them?” 
“Oh I will miss them. I should say farewell, no? Goodbye,” Alexia said wistfully, cupping each of your breasts in her hands. “I will miss you, but I will be happy when you stop bothering my pretty girlfriend.” 
“Oh my god.” You rolled your eyes, flushing at the attention on your chest, but feeling your heart soar at how genuinely she seemed to mean what she was saying. You appreciated her honesty. It wouldn’t have been believable that she wouldn’t miss them at all; the blonde had made it very clear in your time together that she very much enjoyed them. But for Alexia, she’d happily give that up if it meant that you were happier and more comfortable. And then felt like another level of love she must have for you. 
 Alexia leaned down to kiss you again, this time a bit more intensely as the water rained down over your heads. 
She broke away after a minute, a satisfied smile on her face telling you she was pleased that she had successfully distracted you. And distracted, you were. 
“Do we have time to-”
“No.” Alexia said sternly. “That is why we made sure to have enough time last night. We will not be late because you are horny even after I made you co-”
“OKAY. I don’t want a reminder if I can’t really enjoy the reminder.” You argued, barely noticing how Alexia turned the shower off and wrapped you in a towel. She really was doing a good job distracting you, because the mere step forward in your morning routine didn’t make you nauseous like it normally would have. 
The rest of the morning, Alexia went out of her way to keep you distracted. Whether it was giving herself a beard with bubbles in the shower, or forcing you to have an impromptu dance party in the kitchen while she ate a quick breakfast, your girlfriend gave you very little time for your mind to wander. Once you were in the car, though, it was inevitable. You were on the way, and there was nothing else to think about. 
Alexia kept her hand on you throughout the ride, noticing as you grew quieter as she pulled out of the drive, and brushed a few tears away when you thought she wasn’t looking. 
“Alright, mi amor?” She checked, well aware that you were not even close to alright.
“I’m so scared.” You whispered, Alexia just barely hearing your voice over the hum of the car engine. She moved her hand from your bouncing knee to grab onto your hand, squeezing it three times. 
“I know. Everything is going to be okay, amor. They do this every day, you will be in such good hands.” 
“What if I wake up in the middle?”
“You will not.” She sounded so sure. 
“What if I don’t wake up at all?
“You will wake up.” Again, her voice was filled with confidence. Whether it was truly what she believed, or if she was just saying it for your sake, you didn’t know, but you appreciated it nonetheless. 
“What if something goes wrong and I come out with three boobs or something?” 
“I will buy a sewing machine, and get to work making bras for three boobs.” Alexia said seriously. 
You gave a wet laugh, wiping at your eyes. Alexia smiled at you happily, fixing her eyes back on the road as the light turned green. Her hand didn’t leave yours the rest of the way to the hospital. 
------
Without Alexia there with you, it was likely that you would have bolted out the front doors of the hospital within a few minutes of arriving. You weren’t alone, though, and Alexia began to resort to absolutely ridiculous tactics to distract you and see a smile on your face. 
First, she blew up a glove she found in the room you were brought to wait in and then let it fly all around. It wasn’t really funny but the way she released it, and then looked at you with a hopeful grin on her face made you laugh anyway. If you counted correctly she made six bad jokes when they made you take a pregnancy test, that had you giggling even though they were quite juvenile. As the nurse put your IV in, the blonde reminded you of the time she got stitches in her leg on the sidelines of the football pitch, in the middle of the game, going so far as to point out the scar on her shin that you’d seen many times before. This wasn’t really funny either, but the somewhat disturbed look on the nurse’s face was. 
She was goofy when you needed her to be, she was serious and listened carefully whenever anyone was telling her important information, and she didn’t let go of your hand for the entirety of the pre op process. The minute your heart began to pound in your chest, or tears began to well in your eyes, you’d feel her squeeze your hand, and feel inexplicably comforted. Realistically, you knew Alexia had no ability to keep you safe once you were in the operating room. Still, you had the overwhelming feeling that because she was here with you, nothing bad could happen. 
“Okay, it’s time.” The nurse said kindly, walking into the room just moments after the surgeon had left. He had drawn all over you while answering Alexia’s seemingly endless questions about your recovery. 
You looked at the blonde next to you, willing yourself to remain calm, breathe deeply. She leaned in, kissing you softly. Once on the lips, then once on each cheek. 
“I love you. You are going to do so well, mi amor. I will be right here when you wake up.” She promised, helping you to your feet and squeezing your hand one last time. “Brave for me, okay?” the last part was whispered just for you to hear, and you nodded.
You could be brave for her. For her, you could do anything. 
“I love you, Ale.” 
She smiled at you until you disappeared out of sight, finally allowing the anxiety she’d been repressing all morning to let itself be known. It was going to be a long three hours, and she’d known that. She was absolutely resolved not to let you see her own nerves, knowing they’d only make you feel worse. Already calling her Mami as she was led to the waiting room, she hoped she did a good job at making you feel more comfortable. And she hoped, more than anything, that you’d be okay. 
-------
It felt nearly impossible to keep your eyes open. They opened and closed of their own accord, the room a bit different every time. Very vaguely, you recognized the surgeon coming to talk to you, saying something about everything going well. A nurse asked you about pain, and you focused enough to notice a slight twinge on your chest. 
The only coherent thought you had, though, was of your girlfriend. She said she’d be here when you woke up, and the beautiful blonde was nowhere in sight. 
“Would you like a sip of water?” The nurse asked kindly, holding a straw up to your mouth. You shook your head, though, frowning dramatically. 
“Alexia.” You murmured, eyes falling shut once again. The nurse chuckled, replying even though she wasn’t sure you were hearing her. The heart monitor attached to you was making a rhythmic beeping sound, and you were bobbing your head along to it gently, though you didn’t seem aware of it.  
“We’ll bring you out of recovery in a few minutes, and then you can see her.” 
Sure enough, you felt the strange sensation that you were moving, before you opened your eyes once again. Now in a different room, there was a smiling face next to yours, a gentle touch on your cheek. 
“Ale.” You sighed happily, eyes half shut, but a big smile adorning your features. 
“Hi, bonita.” Alexia chuckled. “How are you feeling?”
“Mmm.” You hummed. “Sleepy.” 
Alexia thought you looked incredibly adorable, all groggy and happy to see her. Clumsily, you reached for her hand, pulling it to cup your cheek. Your girlfriend laughed lightly, stroking her thumb over your cheek bone. 
“Are you in any pain?” 
“I loveeeeeee you.” You sang, clumsily patting her face with your free hand. 
Alexia laughed again, her features soft as she gazed down at you. “I love you too, cariño. Can you tell me if anything hurts?” 
“Nothin’ hurts.” You slurred. “Are my boobs small?” 
“Sí, look. The buttons on your shirt aren’t pulling apart anymore.” 
You’d bought several cotton button up pajama shirts especially for the occasion, having been told not to lift your arms above your head to put a shirt on. As always occurred with button ups, though, the buttons pulled tightly across your chest. Or, they had. Now, the shirt sat unstretched across your chest, and you felt a staggering amount of joy course through you. 
“Oh.” You said weakly, blinking hard as your eyes filled with tears. 
Alexia’s face fell. “What? Does something hurt? What’s wrong?” She asked frantically, looking around for something to stop the pain you weren’t actually feeling. 
“No, no. It’s good, it’s happy. They’re small and my shirt fits. Shirts like this never fit right and now they do.” You cried, too out of it to really feel embarrassed for crying so hard over such a small thing. 
“Oh, amor.” Alexia whispered, feeling like crying herself. She knew more than anyone how much you struggled with the way you’d looked before. She’d genuinely never seen you look so happy over your appearance before, and it was her new favorite thing. “I’m so happy you’re happy.” 
“I’m happy.” You mumbled, allowing Alexia to dry your face of tears. Carefully, Alexia brought the water to your lips again, and this time you drank some, feeling more and more awake with every passing second. And even though she was pretty sure you wouldn't remember this later, Alexia had to make sure you knew something. 
“You know what, amor?” She asked. 
“What?”
“You are beautiful. Even more beautiful now, with such a happy smile on your face.” 
It didn’t matter that you’d just cried, or that your hair was a mess. It didn’t matter that you were decidedly not beautiful at the moment. Because Alexia thought you were, and that made you think it, too. More than ever before, you felt beautiful like she said you were. 
------ 
The first two days went pretty smoothly. Everything ached a bit too much for you to really do anything on your own, and Alexia was more than happy to help. The trouble came after you were given clearance to shower, on the third day of your recovery. You wanted to do it by yourself, and Alexia was insisting on helping you. 
“No, Ale.” You snapped, trying to sit up and get out of bed on your own. Alexia wouldn’t move, though, still perched next to your legs, arms resting on either side of you, and honestly, you needed her help to get upright. 
She was being overly patient with you, and that only bothered you more; you didn’t like to be treated like you were fragile. “Amor, it says in the instructions, ‘have someone nearby to help for the first few showers.’’” 
“Nearby. Not in the bathroom with me. I’ll be fine, please just let me do this myself.” 
“It is not safe, I would like to be in there with you. I don’t understand, you have never had a problem with showering me before.” Alexia’s hazel eyes squinted at you, as though she was trying to visually ascertain what the issue was. 
“It’s different.” You grumbled, feeling your stomach twist at the idea of your girlfriend having to do another thing for you. Enough was enough, you had to be independent. If you couldn’t shower on your own, you’d feel completely helpless and you hated to feel helpless. 
“How is it different?” Alexia wondered, her patience with you still unwavering. 
“It just is! Move so I can get up, please.” 
The blonde just shook her head. “Not until you tell me how it’s different.”
“Alexia, I am disgusting right now, I’m gonna be all bruised and swollen and I haven’t showered in two days. It’s gross, I’m gross.”
She didn’t even blink, as though she’d already known this. “I don’t care about that, cariño. I just want to make this easier for you. Please let me help.”
“I don’t need help.” 
“You do, and that’s okay. Please, amor, just let me come into the bathroom with you. I’ll sit on the counter if you want me to, but let me be in the room. Please.”
Your girlfriend had a way of asking you things and making her eyes wide as she did so, making you agree without really thinking. It was genuinely difficult to say no to someone so pretty, who very clearly just wanted the best for you. This was how you found yourself in the bathroom, allowing Alexia to carefully unbutton your shirt and remove the bra from your chest. 
You’d tried to do it yourself at first, but it was ridiculously difficult to get your arms to do what you wanted them to do without pressing against your chest or your sides, and your yelp of pain had Alexia firmly telling you that she was helping you, and that was that. 
You waited for her face to turn disgusted, or at least for her eyes to give her away. It didn’t happen. She looked pained at the sight of the bruising on your body, but that was sympathetic. The kiss she gave you filled your body with warmth, but that warmth disappeared as soon as Alexia stepped away to turn on the shower, and you turned to look at yourself in the mirror. 
It was the first time you were really seeing your reflection, seeing the full results of what had been done, and you were more than a little horrified. 
When Alexia turned back around to help you into the shower, you had turned several shades paler, and your legs were shaking. Eyes fixed on your chest in the mirror, you looked completely disgusted with what you saw reflecting back at you. 
 Worried that you would pass out or something, Alexia stepped in behind you, carefully placing her large hands on your upper arms to hold you steady. “Amor? Feeling okay?”
“Dizzy.” You managed, leaning back into her. Alexia grabbed the water she’d had the foresight to bring into the bathroom, and carefully urged you to take a few sips. She knew how you were with stuff like this, ever since you’d passed out once watching her get stitches after a nasty tackle. 
“Just breathe. In through your nose, and out through your mouth. Don’t look if it’s bothering you.” 
“I-I… please don’t look, either, Ale.” You requested, shutting your eyes tightly. Alexia only hummed in response, resting her chin on your shoulder and rubbing her hands up and down your arms. “It’s awful, it’s so gross.” 
The bruising and the sight of the incisions through the tape over them was enough to make you nauseous, but Alexia being there only made it worse. She shouldn’t have to see you like this. 
She seemed unphased, though, her eyes on your face in the mirror, not distracted by your chest. “It looks exactly as the doctor said it should look. Your body went through so much, healing isn’t going to be perfect and pretty. Everything is okay, I promise. Just look at my face, and focus on me. Everything is okay.” 
You did as she asked, breathing deeply for a few minutes, your eyes fixed on hers in the mirror. Only when some color had returned to your face, and you weren’t shaking as badly, did Alexia move from where her body pressed to yours. 
“Are you ready? She murmured in your ear, enjoying that at least from this angle, from behind you, she could feel your body against hers. You enjoyed it too, your head dropping back to her shoulder as you nodded. “Okay. We’ll go quick. I’ll wash your body, wash your hair and then you can lay down.” 
Too afraid of what would happen if you stepped into the shower by yourself, you nodded again. 
It always struck you how gentle Alexia could be. On the pitch she was a force to be reckoned with, her body a well oiled machine that always got the job done. Her job was so physical, it always surprised you how soft her hands were, how gentle her touch was. 
She was so careful with you, especially now. The blonde maneuvered you under the stream of water, getting to work right away, as if she knew how exhausted you already were, just from standing for a few minutes. She hummed as she worked the loofa across your skin, intermittently leaving kisses wherever she saw fit. Done with that, Alexia moved on to your hair, her fingers feeling absolutely magical on your scalp after several days of it being tied back in a bun. 
You were mostly silent, only speaking to reply to Alexia’s quiet check ins every few minutes. It was only when she was facing you, massaging the conditioner out of your hair as you tilted your head back under the stream of water, that you said anything of substance. 
“Thank you for helping.” 
“Always.” Alexia mumbled, her lips pressed to your forehead. “I miss hugging you.”
You melted even further, as if the careful way she washed your hair for you wasn’t soft enough. “You’re adorable.” 
“No, I am tough and strong.” Alexia objected. 
“And incredibly adorable.” You insisted. For the first time that day, Alexia saw the ghost of a smile on your lips, and she made herself a promise that she’d make you smile more often. Even if she had to be ridiculous to do so, though it would prove to be harder than she wanted. 
------
It felt like there was a dark cloud hanging over you. You were irritated and depressed and near tears for no discernible reason. Alright, there was a reason, but you were too upset to really think rationally about it. Everything hurt more once you’d stopped taking the prescription painkillers you’d been prescribed, and the lack of the drugs was definitely not helping your mood. The last two days had been horrible, your recovery hitting a wall. It had been a week exactly, and suddenly, nothing was moving fast enough. 
Now that you were used to the sight, your breasts didn’t seem as small as they had at first. They were swollen, you kept reminding yourself, but the worry that they wouldn’t be small enough, that you’d gone through all this for nothing, persisted. It didn't matter that logically, you knew they were smaller. You’d seen what was removed, been told the measurements, and still. You’d convinced yourself they looked mostly the same. It hurt to move and showering took you at least an hour every time. You hyper fixated on your appearance, worried that now that your chest was supposedly smaller, everything else would be bigger. Alexia kept taking days off work, and when she didn’t, her mother or her sister would randomly show up with something random to drop off or pick up. You hated that she felt like she couldn’t leave you alone, and you hated even more that she was right to feel that way. You couldn’t lift anything, could barely sit up on your own. Your girlfriend was stuck helping you with every little thing, from showering to walking down the stairs. It was miserable. 
It felt like she asked you every other minute if you were in pain. And god, you were. More than you thought you’d be. Everytime, though, your answer was the same. Just a bit, you’d tell her. Both of you knew you were lying. You’d grit your teeth and bear it, unwilling or perhaps unable to admit to Alexia that your chest ached and stung and pulled and hurt. Your brain didn’t feel much better. 
Of course, Alexia knew you were miserable. The doctor had warned her this might happen; it wasn’t uncommon for individuals to fall into a depression after surgery like this. There were a lot of complex emotions involved. Combine those emotions with pain and narcotics, of course you didn’t feel like yourself. She’d been awake last night, when you’d cried next to her, holding her hand like a lifeline even as you stayed as quiet as you could. Alexia knew you didn’t want her to see you in pain, and if she could bring you comfort because you thought she was asleep… she’d take that. 
Still, though, every part of her ached with how sad you seemed, and how shut down you’d become. She was sure that if you talked about even one of the things bothering you, you’d feel so much better. You weren’t talking, though, and Alexia was running out of ways to help you. 
The blonde had one final idea before she broke and called your doctor to tell him that you just weren’t coping well, and she really didn’t want to do that. So, she made you tea, put on a boring documentary, and played with your hair until you were half asleep on top of the covers of your bed, as snuggled into Alexia’s pillow as you could get at the moment. 
She gently roused you, informing you that she had to run out for groceries but she’d be back very soon, before grabbing her list and slipping out the front door. Alexia had assumed you’d gone right back to sleep, but you hadn’t.
Instead, you’d realized you had to use the bathroom, dragging yourself off your bed and into the bathroom. It was there that you bumped into the door, which hurt way more than it normally would have. It had been the last straw of an already horrible day, and you just couldn’t take it anymore. Couldn’t be brave anymore. 
Alexia had been in such a rush to leave so she could come back, that she forgot her wallet, turning the car around only a few minutes into her drive to return and grab it. 
“Amor, I forgot my-” Alexia’s whispered words halted as she walked into the bedroom, and the sounds of your sobs hit her ears. You weren’t in bed where she’d left you, and your girlfriend whipped her head around in panic. “Baby, where are you?” She shouted, able to tell that you were closeby. Answering her own question, she rushed towards the bathroom, only relaxing slightly when she found you. 
Hunched over by the sink, your shoulders shook with the force of your sobs. Somewhere in her mind, Alexia realized that the movement was likely causing you pain. The blonde hadn’t ever heard you cry this hard in her life, and when you whipped your head around to look at her when she pushed the door open, you looked broken. You only looked more upset at the sight of her, and your girlfriend tried not to panic. 
“Baby, are you hurting?” Alexia questioned, moving forward as her hands fluttered uselessly in the air. All you could do in response was continue to cry, and reach one shaky hand towards the blonde. “I need you to talk to me.” 
It was all just too much; you couldn’t hold it in any longer. You needed her to kiss you and hold you and promise that everything would be okay. “I..I- hurts, Ale, it hurts so bad.” 
“I’m so sorry.” Alexia frowned, giving your hand a squeeze. “What can I do?” 
“I d-don’t know, it just hurts.” You sobbed, your chest stuttering. 
“The crying is not helping, amor, try to breathe.” She encouraged, exaggerating her own breaths for you to copy. It worked only slightly, and your face was still contorted in pain. “Let me get you some more medicine.” 
“No, stay.” You panicked, only tightening your grip on your girlfriend’s hand. 
“Okay, I’m right here.” She cooed, trying to move closer and give you a gentle hug. You winced away from her, though, in too much pain and too afraid of it worsening to allow her close to you. 
“I don’t know what to do,” you whimpered, wanting the pain to stop if only so she could hug you. 
Pausing and pursing her lips, your girlfriend tried to think logically. Getting up was difficult for you, standing only worse.  Sitting propped up on the bed was the only way for you to be even slightly comfortable, so Alexia took each of your hands in hers. “Back to bed, okay? You’ll feel better sitting.” 
You nodded, and allowed your girlfriend to carefully lead you out of the bathroom, and back towards the bed. “Okay, almost there. You’re doing so well.” 
It felt ridiculous to be praised for something as simple as walking back to bed, especially as you needed her help to do so. Still, she sounded so earnest and encouraging you couldn’t doubt her sincerity. 
Alexia got you settled on the bed just how you liked, and adjusted the pillows until they were just right. You sighed shakily, shifting as you tried to get comfortable. 
“Tell me how to help you.” Alexia practically pleaded. 
“I want ice please.” You sniffled, desperate for anything to numb the pain on your body, and the pain inside your head. Alexia tucked the blanket around you, using her thumb to wipe a few tears off your cheeks, gazing at you regretfully. 
“I’m sorry, amor, the doctor said no ice, remember? It is bad for the circulation. I can get you more medicine and a cool towel for your head?” Her suggestions felt weak, and she wished she could just take it from you, take away how badly you felt. 
You nodded, a few more tears falling from your eyes as you did so. It seemed to Alexia as though every time she offered to help you, you cried more. She rose to go get what she needed, and you let your head fall back on the pillows, a few quiet sobs escaping. You wished you could stop needing her so badly. 
Crying too hard to notice her return, you jumped when she placed her hand on your upper arm, crying out quietly as you did so. 
“Easy, amor.” She soothed, handing you two pills and holding a straw to your lips. Once you took the medicine, she wiped the tears off your face with the wet washcloth in her hand, her features wrinkled with worry. You hadn’t stopped crying, and she didn’t know what else to do to help you. 
“Are you crying because it hurts, or because of something else?” She wondered. 
“I don’t know, I just can’t stop.” You whimpered, clutching almost desperately at your girlfriend’s hand. 
Letting out a sad, sympathetic sound you’d never heard her make, Alexia took her place on her side of the bed, scooting over so she was pressed up against the pillow that was pressed up against you. It was the best she could do at the moment, even if she wanted to pull you into her and never let go. You reached over the pillow to grab onto her hoodie, the brown one with holes all over it you liked to make fun of. She’d put it on earlier, hoping you’d do just that, but she’d had no luck. 
Alexia just watched you for a few minutes, both of her hands on you, tracing patterns into your skin wherever she was sure wouldn’t hurt you. It became clear to her that you were exhausting yourself, your eyes barely even open anymore as you wiped at the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. 
“Amor, you need rest.” She whispered, watching your eyes flutter open to look at her helplessly. 
How were you supposed to sleep when you were so upset? 
“I can’t.” 
“Try for me. Close your eyes, relax your body.” The blonde instructed, smiling despite herself as you instantly did as she asked. Grabbing the cool washcloth again, she folded it in half and draped it over your eyes. Sighing you settled back into the pillows a bit, chest still stuttering every few seconds, but less intensely than it had been. “Sleep, cariño. I’m right here, I love you, and everything is okay.” 
Her words had an incomprehensible power over you, and it wasn’t long before you were barely clinging to consciousness. The tears had stopped, and all you could really think about was that you were really glad that Alexia was here with you. 
------
Alexia wasn’t sure how long you’d cried for before your grip on her sweatshirt had gone slack, and you’d finally relaxed. She let you sleep for an hour or so, though, unmoving so she didn’t disturb you. She busied herself with her phone, placing an order of the things she needed so she didn’t have to leave you, but mostly, she just watched you sleep. Swollen and red eyes, tear stained face, uncomfortable frown on your face even as you slept, you were still the most beautiful person she’d ever seen in her life. 
Once the delivery was made, your girlfriend slipped out of bed as carefully as she could, heading for the front door. Turning around with the bags from the front porch in hand, Alexia jumped a little at the sight of you standing behind her. She hadn’t heard you follow her out of the bedroom, but she saw you now, more tears falling down your flushed face. 
“Hey,” she said soothingly, moving closer even as you backed away from her. 
“You were supposed to go grocery shopping and I ruined it,” you cried, feeling a little ridiculously upset that you’d messed up her plans. You just thought she needed the time away from you. It wasn’t as though you were pleasant to be around right now. “You didn't get to run your errands, I’m so sorry.”
“You haven’t ruined anything, mi amor.” Alexia cooed. “Come on, sit on the couch for me, and I’ll show you what I got.” 
Sniffling, Alexia led you to the couch, helping you sit down and once again, placing the excessive amount of pillows exactly as you liked them. She began to pull items out of the bags once she sat down next to you, explaining what she’d gotten as she did so in a very quiet, almost shy voice. 
“A new candle, it makes the crackle sounds you like. Your favorite candy. Some roses, and I will put them in a vase and you could put them next to your bed, if you want. This is supposed to be a cooling blanket, so you don’t get too warm. I noticed you were almost out of the hair ties you use, so I got more of those. You liked that one button up shirt you got, so I got more because they are easier than other shirts, and these are very soft.” She listed everything out, putting it all on the coffee table in front of you. 
It was endless, the number of things she’d bought for you. Favorite snacks, a book you’d mentioned wanting to read once. A new coffee mug, even though she always complained that you had too many already, just because she knew you’d like the color. One bag was full of the ingredients to make your favorite dinner. She grabbed the last bag off the floor, really rambling now that you hadn’t said a word in at least 2 minutes. 
“I can return this if you don’t want it.” She finished, pressing the small, plush elephant into your hands as her face turned red. “I thought he could keep you company when I’m at work, but it’s probably stupid-”
You cut her off, tucking the elephant under one arm as you tilted her chin up with your other. Her face fell further, because you were still crying. 
She didn’t know that they were no longer sad tears. 
“I love you.” You blubbered, absolutely sure that there weren't words to describe how grateful you were for her at that moment. Ale, your perfect, sweet Ale. What had you done in your life to deserve her? “I love the elephant, I love everything. What did you do all this for?” 
Alexia looked at you incredulously, her fingers linking with yours. “You have been so down. I just wanted to make you smile. I thought maybe one of these things could.” 
“Oh. I… I didn’t know you noticed. I thought I was doing a good job hiding it.” 
You would never be winning an Oscar, Alexia thought to herself. “Why would you hide that from me?” She wondered, her face adorably confused. 
“You’re dealing with enough from me right now, you don’t need-”
“I decide what I need and don’t need.” Alexia cut in, her voice so firm it had your head snapping up to stare at her. She wasn’t angry, though, just… passionate. “Don’t push me away because you think you are being too much. I knew what I was getting into when you scheduled this surgery. I arranged to have time off so I could take care of you. I know you are hurting and I know you are upset, and I want nothing more than for you to talk to me.” 
“You’re too good to me.” You murmured, eyes flitting all over her face, trying to memorize the sincere expression on her face. 
“This is what you deserve.” Alexia disagreed, her knee shifting over until it pressed into yours. “Now, I know you are hurting because you just had surgery, but I do not know what has you so sad. Can you tell me? Please?”
How could you say no to that? The issue was, you weren’t even sure where to start. “There’s too many things. I’m just… I don’t feel right.” 
Alexia hummed. “Amor, it is normal to be depressed after a surgery like this. It says in the post op notes, your doctor talked to me about it. This is normal, how you are feeling is normal and it isn’t going to last forever.”
It was the same thing you’d been telling yourself, except now it echoed around your head in Alexia’s voice, and that held so much more meaning. Nodding meekly, you wondered if you should keep going. 
“What else?” 
Nervously, you glanced down at your chest. You didn’t want to sound ungrateful. Not everyone got the chance to have this surgery, even if they needed it, and it felt so disgusting to complain. The feeling that they were still too big was unshakeable, though. 
“You don’t like how they look.” Alexia stated simply. You stared at her, jaw dropped, wondering suddenly if she could read minds. She gave you a small smile, tugging at her ponytail and fiddling with the ends of her hair. “That is normal, too. I read about it. They don’t feel different enough?” 
“No.” You replied quietly, still ashamed of your feelings. 
“They are still swollen. It will take three to four months for them to look how they are going to look. You have to be patient, you have to give yourself time. I know everything is overwhelming right now, but I promise you, they are smaller, and they will get smaller still.” 
This time, Alexia raised your intertwined hands to her lips, pressing a kiss to the back of yours. “What else?” She asked again. A mind reader, for sure, you decided. 
You bit your lip before speaking, though it was progress that you verbalized your feelings without Alexia having to guess. “I’m in so much pain. It’s taking so long to go away. You can’t do anything or go anywhere because you’re here helping me. I’m such a burden right now and I hate it. I’m so tired of this. I don’t want you to have to help me with every little thing.”
Alexia looked almost offended. “You have never been a burden a day in your life, and I am sorry that anyone has ever made you feel that way. I am happy to be here, and help you heal. Really, amor. You’ve wanted this for so long, and this part isn’t very fun, but you’re doing so well. It hurts, and it sucks, I know that. It feels like it’s taking forever, but it’s just barely been a week. You aren’t helping yourself by keeping all these negative thoughts in your head, either.”
“Probably not.” You agreed timidly. 
“Probably not.” Alexia echoed, her hand coming up to cup your cheek. “I am here for you because I want to be, so let me help, okay? It isn’t your instinct to tell me when you are hurting, or when you need help, but I want you to try, okay? Just try.” 
“I’ll try.” You promised. Because, honestly, if Alexia was this good at making all your fears and stressors melt away and she was happy to do it, there was no justification for suffering in silence anymore. 
“I”m proud of you. You are doing so well, and I love you. Everything is going to feel better soon, and until then, I am right here with you.”
“Are you going somewhere once I am better?” You asked teasingly, just the hint of a smile tugging at your lips. This did not go unnoticed by your girlfriend, who leaned closer and got a look on her face you knew to be her I just won look. 
“A smile.” Alexia grinned, pressing her forehead against yours, still making sure to give your entire midsection a wide berth. 
“It’s just for you.” You whispered, holding eye contact with her, and enjoying that it no longer felt insincere because you were keeping so much to yourself. 
“I’m not going anywhere. Ever.” Alexia promised. Her words were barely more than a warm exhale on your mouth, and before long, she was brushing her soft lips against yours, giving you the world’s most careful kiss. 
She had magical kisses, you decided. Magic hands, as they linked with yours. A magic smile that made you grin, too. Good taste in get better soon gifts, you thought, picking up the elephant and asking her if she’d thought of a name for it. 
“Alex.” She smirked, looking rather proud of herself. 
And maybe she had egotistical taste in names, but you were more convinced every second that she was right, that things would get better, and a bit of ego was something you could handle. Especially when it came wrapped up in a package with overwhelming amounts of love and care. You were the luckiest girl in the world, you’d never been more sure of that. 
Hours later, after you’d eaten your favorite dinner and lit your new candle, settling into bed with a much more relaxed look on your face, Alexia thought the same thing. She was the luckiest to have you. Your smile was worth everything, and she’d missed it these past few days. It didn’t feel like she’d have to miss it anymore, though, especially as you drifted off, your hand in hers. Lips curved just slightly upward. You always had a smile to give Alexia. 
------
i'm honestly not sure if this is too niche for people to enjoy, so i'd appreciate any thoughts anyone has :) this feels wildly vulnerable and i will do my absolute best to not get embarrassed and delete it 🙏 love to you all 🫶🏻🫶🏻🥰🥰
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greenfiend · 2 months
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Are we ready to have an honest discussion about Will and El’s dynamic and possible ending yet?
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Two characters sharing a similar narrative in this story. How will things end for these two?
It hasn’t occurred to me until recently just how little we discuss these two.
Over the course of the show, the development of Will and El’s co-existence has less to do with their relationship but more to do with Will’s character arc.
In the beginning (seasons 1 and 2), Will is so hidden that El takes over. Will “hides” in the upside down, and is again hidden when he is possessed. El takes the spotlight in his place.
Then in season 3, Will is physically present but in the background. He’s the side character. El is the leader. They barely interact.
In season 4, Will is starting to come out of his shell. He’s still a side character, but he’s closer to being on an even playing field with El. He’s not in the background as often, and is actually seen conversing with El, and he even confronts her on her lies to Mike. Which is also foreshadowing his lies to Mike later on in the season.
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I’m going to be quite frank: El and Will are not actually very close in canon. The “wonder twins” idea is beautiful but very fanon. These two had so many opportunities to grow closer, especially since they were separated from the others in California… but they just don’t? They both seem lonely and disconnected in the other’s presence. But yet, they are connected another way: El is Will’s saviour/protector. She is like his security blanket. I mean this literally (textually), and a sub-textually. Obviously she helps him while he’s trapped in the upside down and when he’s possessed- making her a textual, and literal saviour.
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But… what do I mean by a sub-textual saviour? Well, she protects him from having to take the spotlight. He is able to hide behind her in many ways.
For one, she takes the brunt of the bullies in Lenora. Will is able to go around unnoticed even as a GNC guy that he is. Back home at Hawkins, he is, unfortunately, very visible to bullies. Visibly different, visibly gay. But in Lenora? Bullies are too distracted by the girl who’s different instead.
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Now when it comes to Will’s love life… El also is protecting him in a sense. He desires Mike, romantically, sexually, and intimately. Due to the rampant homophobia that surrounds him, these desires scare him. El is a safe barrier from these desires. Will is also able to safely express himself through her.
If El weren’t in the picture, Will may have been more bold in expressing this side of himself to Mike. He may just let his feelings slip out more. Perhaps he’d let his eyes linger a tad longer, or he’d be tempted to be a bit more tactile with the boy he’s overflowing with affection for.
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El shields Will from having to confront many aspects of himself. That’s the problem. Because of her protection, he isn’t able to challenge himself and grow. This is why whenever El saves the day, it never lasts. She merely puts a “bandaid” on the wound. But this wound will grow and fester if the source of the problem is not addressed.
El’s Possible Origin
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This is the first time in the entire show that El is mentioned. The context of this sounds like they’re implying that El also “came from” the upsidedown; precisely where Will was at the time.
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Now, I’m aware this is a fairly unpopular opinion, but I do believe El was created from Will in a supernatural sense. I suppose in a similar way to how Eve was created from Adam, minus any romantic undertones.
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Our very first sighting of El is of her emerging from the forest, barefoot, in a hospital gown, with very little hair on her head, and a limited knowledge of the English language. Not unlike an infant child. Now, please don’t take this the wrong way… I’m not implying that everyone with limited language skills are babies, there are many possible reasons for it. But within this show, it is implied that her lack of language skills are due to her experiences within the lab, and lack of experiences outside of it.
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I do have to ask though, why do the other “lab kids” we have seen have no obvious language difficulties? Unless… El actually was an “infant” in a way…
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This quote is interesting for multiple reasons. One I’m focusing on here is the mention of life starting that particular day. Of course I’m not referring to Mike’s life starting that day- I’m talking about the person we are shown in this particular shot- El.
Now, I know what everyone is thinking: how does El have memories that predate this day then?
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Well, what I’m arguing is that many of her memories could be an altered version of Will’s memories. I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility that his memories could have been transferred to El.
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This “fake” script of the episode Papa tells us that Will recognized Brenner. There’s a history there! Will likely could not quite pinpoint how he recognized him.
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It’s important to note that Will only vaguely recalls aspects of his childhood. There’s gaps. Just like there’s gaps in El’s memory as well.
El’s Possible Ending
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I’ve always been surprised just how little people dig into El’s possible ending in the show. I feel like people are somewhat aware of this possibility but choose not to give it any further thought. Truth is- El doesn’t feel like she belongs anywhere.
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I need to remind everyone of this last shot in ST4. Yes yes the couples, we have heard it a million times already… but look where El is standing. She’s on the other side. She’s in the upsidedown. Where she initially came from. Now, I’m not saying she’ll end up in the current unpleasant upsidedown- she will likely live on in a peaceful version of it. An entirely new environment one that exists…
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[In Will’s mind.]
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I do think this is an important foreshadowing quote- but not in the way most people think. They won’t work together as twins- they will work together as one person. What I’m saying is…
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They will combine. Just like what this hug visually foreshadows… El and Will will become one again.
I can honestly make a whole separate post regarding references made in ST to other media involving two characters being one. There’s a lot…
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sunflower-lilac42 · 4 months
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𝗱𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 | 𝘭𝘩43 ♔
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➪ summary: with her recently dating luke, she'd rather her brother and his friends see her drunk rather than him which leads to luke worrying excessively
➪ warnings: drinking
➪ word count: 2.0k
➪ file type: fic
➪ sunny's notes: i've been in such a hughes mood so here's a luke fic, maybe I'll edit safe and sound tonight and get that out too. this was one of my favorites when i wrote it and it still is, i hope you enjoy it again
nhl masterlist || taglist || navigation
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This was a bad idea, a horrible idea. She knew she shouldn’t have gone out with them in the first place, but y/n was a people pleaser and caved quickly. Saying goodbye to her friends at the lake house she headed out with her friends to whatever party they wanted her to go to. 
It also never took much for her to get drunk, she could hold and handle her liquor that wasn’t the problem, but she was a lightweight, which made this night all the worse. Two drinks in, the ones forced by her friends, were all it took for her to go back willingly for more. Three drinks after that she was absolutely hammered. 
She knew she should go home so as she started walking out of the party, her friend grabbed hold of her, “Where are you going?!”
“I should get home.”
“It’s only-” Her friend’s words were slurred, checking her watch, “Midnight. Just say for a little while longer.”
Y/n being the person that she was nodded and went back to dancing with her friends. An hour or two later she felt sick and put her foot down with her friends, saying that she was leaving. The three others nodded and let her go, the girl walking outside and stumbling down the street. 
She tripped not long after that, her knees scraping on the ground. She was overly emotional from drinking and instantly teared up. She dug around in her purse for her phone and turned it on, immediately going to call her boyfriend. 
However, just as her finger was about to hit the call button she paused, thinking about how she didn’t want Luke to see how she looked right now. They had known each other since they were little, yet only started recently dating. She had no desire for him seeing how she looked right now. 
Swiping out of Luke’s contact she went to find Trevor’s, calling him instantly. 
“Y/n/n? Where are you?”
“Trev.” Her voice was littered with emotion, Trevor could hear the waver and tears in her voice.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“I think I had-” She hiccuped and sniffled, “A little too much to drink and I-I hurt myself.” Tears were streaming down her face as she spoke, lifting her hand to wipe her cheeks off. 
Grabbing his keys from his nightstand he stood quickly, “Okay, do you want Luke to come with?”
“No, no, no, no-”
“Okay, I won’t ask him. How about Jacky and Cole?” She nodded and whimpered a ‘yes’ and Trevor was knocking on their doors within seconds. 
“Hey, what’s going on?” Jack stood against the doorframe looking at his best friends, “Y/n’s hurt.”
“What?” Luke stood at the end of the hallway, looking between his brother and his brother’s friends.
Trevor’s eyes widened, “Hey Lukey.”
“Y/n’s hurt?”
He nodded and told Jack and Cole to put their shoes on, “Can I come?”
“I asked her and she said no.” 
“What? Why? Let me talk to her!” Trevor put his phone out of reach for the youngest Hughes not to grab it. 
“She doesn't want you to come and I think you should respect that Luke.”
“But she- she’s- she just said she was hurt.”
Tears flooded the boy’s eyes and Trebor looked conflicted, looking between his phone and Luke. Luckily, Jack walked out of his room and placed his arms around his brother, “I’m sure she’s okay. We'll go get her and bring her back.”
“You guys are going? Why do they get to go?”
“Because she wanted them to.”
“Trevor?” Y/n’s voice is heard from his phone where he accidentally put her on speaker. 
No one paid any mind to it, “That’s such bull shit.”
“Luke! She’s scared and drunk and probably just needs what is most familiar and comfortable to her, which is the three of us.” Cole tried to reason with the younger boy, but nothing was getting through to him.
“We’ve been friends for almost as long as you guys have been and we're dating, why wouldn’t she trust me?!”
“She does trust you, Luke. But you two are also just getting into a rhythm of dating and maybe she doesn’t want you to see her like this. And before you say anything, she knows you won’t care but she's not thinking straight. Why don’t you go sit with Quinn until we get home and we’ll let you know, okay?”
“Whatever.” He stormed off into his room, the other three rolling their eyes and rushing out to whomever's car was first. 
“We’ll be there soon, y/n/n, okay?” Cole asked, taking the phone from his friend. 
She nodded and listened to Cole talk to her as they drove to where she sat on the curb, hoping no one would come up to her. 
Luckily, no one did and the three rushed out of the car and to her side. 
“Are you okay?”
“I think so, I just got a little nervous.”
Trevor kneeled in front of her as Jack and Cole wrapped one of their arms around her at each of her sides. Placing his hands on her knees, Trevor spoke, “How many drinks did you have?” 
By now, she was able to talk without slurring her words, her mind being able to think more clearly. She held five fingers up and looked down shamefully. 
Jack chuckled, “You know you can’t drink that much.” 
Still emotional, her eyes held tears again in her eyes, “I know, I know. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad?”
“Hey, no one’s mad, we just want you to be more careful. Let’s fix up your knees and then we’ll go home.” Trevor went back to the car to grab the first aid kit that Cole had thrown in there.
“Where are your friends?” Cole took off his jacket and placed it around the girl, “They wanted to stay longer. I didn’t want them to have to leave because of me.”
Placing a kiss on her head, Cole chuckled, “You and your people-pleaser tendencies.”
“Hey don’t make fun of me.” She held a put on her face and Jack laughed as well, “We could never.”
She laughed as well and Trevor cheered, placing the last band-aid on her knee, “Yay, we got a smile! You ready to go home?”
She nodded and the three helped her up, Jack happily driving home so she could sit with her brother in the back. She easily laid against Trevor, placing her feet in Cole’s lap. 
“Is Luke mad at me?” 
The three looked at each other, Jack glancing in the rearview mirror, “No, just a little upset.”
“I heard him over the phone.”
Trevor sighed and moved the hair that was crowding over her face out of the way, “He just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“He sounded really frustrated.”
“He’s just worried.”
Moments passed in silence before y/n spoke again, “You were right you know?”
The boys furrowed their eyebrows, “Who?”
“Jack.”
“I didn’t even do anything,” Jack claimed, his voice going higher.
“When you were talking to Luke.” 
She flipped over so she was lying on her left side, looking through the rearview mirror so she could see Jack, tracing shapes on the floor of the car, “You said that I didn’t want him to see me like this, you were right.”
“He loves you, you know? He wouldn’t have cared.”
“I know, but there was just something, I don’t know. Scary about it. We’ve been friends for so long and I just didn’t want him to see me mess up as his girlfriend and end it.”
To, y/n, Luke seeing her drunk and emotional as friends was different from him seeing her drunk when they were dating. Sure there were plenty of times Luke had seen her drunk before, but now, it was almost as if she was afraid of him judging her more than before. 
Cole nodded his head, “I can see that. But at the same time, y/n/n, some of the things you can say are different from when you were friends, yet not really now that you’re dating, this for example.” He gestured to her knees, “The only difference is Luke’s worry is more visible, and reasonable.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For always being there for me.” She drifted off to sleep and the three boys looked at each other and smiled. 
❛ ━━・❪ ❁ ❫ ・━━ ❜
“Wakey, wakey.”
“No.” Y/n groaned, feeling more of the effects of the alcohol she consumed. 
“Come on, you’re going to give Luke a heart attack soon.”
“But I’m tired. And you’re fucking loud.”
“Only the best for you, sweetheart.”
“Don’t call me that, only Luke can call me that.”
“Oh sure, I’ve been calling you that since third grade but when my brother comes along, he gets priority.”
“Shut it.”
“I can just leave you out here.”
“No! I love you, I’m sorry, you can call me whatever you want just take me inside, please.”
“Alright lil Z, let’s go.”
“Anything but that. I don’t want to be associated with that one.” She pointed to her right where Cole was standing.
“One, now that was rude and two, I’m over here dipshit.”
“I’m telling, Mom.”
“Then I’ll tell her you got drunk.”
“I’m 21, I can get drunk if I want to.”
“Then I’ll tell her you got drunk freshman year of college.”
“Fine. Truce, all of you.”
The three nodded and shook her hand, taking her inside. As soon as the front door unlocked and opened, Luke stood up from his place on the couch and rushed over to the door, “Lukey!”
Luke caught his girlfriend in his embrace, wrapping his arms around her torso, “Hey. You okay?”
“I had a little too much to drink.” She giggled, wrapping her hands around his neck.
“Have fun bro.” The three walked off to their rooms, leaving the couple behind.
“You want to go lay down?”
“Yes please.” Luke picked her up, her legs unconsciously wrapping around Luke’s waist.
He carried her with ease to his room, placing her on the bed, “What do you want to wear?”
“Your clothes.” Luke chuckled and went to grab some clothes for her, helping her get changed.
The two got comfortable in his bed, y/n wrapping herself in the blanket and snuggling up next to Luke,
“I’m sorry for not wanting you to come, I was just nervous about how you would-”
“Hey, let’s talk about this tomorrow, okay? I’m just glad you weren’t severely hurt.” He kissed her forehead and tightened his hold on her.
She nodded, drifting off to sleep, smiling to herself. 
❛ ━━・❪ ❁ ❫ ・━━ ❜
•❅ 《 𝘉𝘖𝘕𝘜𝘚 𝘚𝘊𝘌𝘕𝘌 》 ❅•
Luke woke up around eight and took a look around his room, y/n was nowhere to be found, “Babe?”
He got up and trekked downstairs to see his brothers Trevor and Cole in the kitchen, “Have you guys seen y/n?”
The four looked at each other, then at Luke, trying not to laugh, “Bathroom.”
“Hey! I’m out of the bathroom, thank you very much.”
“After spending thirty minutes in there.” Jack retorted, coming around the side and sitting next to her, kissing her on the head, “But we love you.”
“Do you though?”
“No.”
“Hey stop being mean to my girlfriend!” Luke pulled the girl away from his brother and into his lap.
“Get your hands off my sister.”
“Never.” Trebor gagged and went back to pouring the orange juice into the glasses.
“Cole’s the only one that was nice to me last night.”
“That’s so not true. You got mad at me for calling you sweetheart.”
“I did?”
“Mhm, you were all like ‘Luke’s the only one that can call me that.’ and ‘Luke this’ or ‘Luke that’.”
Y/n blushed, hiding her face in her boyfriend’s chest, “Awe, you love me.”
“You wish, Hughes. I love Cole and Quinn. You three are jerks.”
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⬂ 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗝𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗲𝘆 𝗗𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗹𝘀 𝗧𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ⬂
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hana-no-seiiki · 9 months
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☁️ . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ FIVE STAGES OF YANDERE ࿐: HERO
“𝐘𝐎𝐔’𝐋𝐋 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒, 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈 𝐃𝐈𝐃.”
⟣┄─ ˑ 𝐈. ✧ yandere/tsundere! modern hero x villain! reader
✧ status: unedited
✧ tw/cw: yandere themes, violence, morally dubious reader, horny hero, tsundere hero.
✧ a/n: both character’s genders are up to your imagination. also i’m making this my permanent theme now for general yans fics (consistency/recognizabilty’s sake)
[series masterlist]
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⟣┄─ ˑ STAGE ONE. ✧ DENIAL
“You’re getting a bit sloppy aren’t you, lil hero?”
“Shut up, wretched being! C-Come back here!”
You and Yandere! Hero have been nemeses for what felt like lifetimes. Ever since you became a sidekick as a kid, up until the present time as adults.
You saw them as a sibling. You’d fight once in a while but neither truly hurt each other. In fact, you never once attempted to kill them, and they in turn never attempted to put you behind bars. The cycle always repeated.
You were relatively close in terms of power. More times than not, things would end up being a tie where the two of you would be too tired to continue. But recently your cutie patootie hero has been getting sluggish. Their attacks lacked any sort of vigour, and their reflexes dulled.
You would offer to talk and assist them, but another one of your hidden rules in this relationship of sorts was that you two would never interfere with life outside of crime and fighting thereof.
Unbeknownst to you, Yandere! Hero fought another villain (cheater!) whose powers were related to nightmares and fears.
Their greatest nightmare . . . was losing their status as a hero — losing you.
You have been such a huge part of their formative years and beyond that the thought of even retiring and losing contact scared the hell out of them. The idea of never being able to banter as you sparred, the concept of losing sight of that smug grin of yours on the times you won, and the very notion of you being dealt with by someone else — their chest would tighten to the point of being unable to breathe.
But they always shook their head, drowned themself in tasks as to avoid the anxiety that threatened their focus. After all, you were a villain. A monstrous creature that have hurt and killed people. The only reason they haven’t taken you down yet was because they were instructed by their predecessor not to.
Yeah, the fear of losing you? Probably just an extension of their desperate and zealous view on their position as a hero
They prayed it was.
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⟣┄─ ˑ STAGE TWO. ✧ ANGER
“I told you that they were mine to take care of! You gave me this duty!”
“You and I both know you’ve been losing your fights more often than not. Look at how many people they’ve started to hurt again! I can’t leave you with a responsibility you, can’t, handle.”
Yandere! Hero couldn’t believe their ears. Everything they feared was starting to come true and it was only getting worse.
They started disobeying their mentor/predecessor’s commands. Commands that they used to referees — worship even. They knew they were making things go from trash to absolute shit, but they couldn’t care less anymore.
So what if you hurt those people? From what they understood, those people were a bunch of assholes at best; Crime-lords, all types of traffickers, and violent thugs. In fact, the very reason you aren’t in cuffs was because you often took justice into your own hands. You were just quite cruel and brutal when it came down to it.
One of their more unforgettable moments of you together was the time you saved them from another villain. You in your blood-soaked glory as you grinned, an attempt to comfort them while they neck-deep in voices that screamed failure. They were barely hurt while you could barely stand, yet you were the one hushing them as you rubbed circles on the small of their back. Shared whispers they’ll die before they talk of it to anyone else.
Yandere! Hero keeps meeting you again and again. Doing duties they were already forbidden from completing and abusing the favor of being a sidekick for so long.
Things get from worse to oblivion when they get news of being replaced.
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⟣┄─ ˑ STAGE THREE. ✧ BARGAINING
“At least let me accompany them on patrols! What if they get hurt?”
“You worked alone just fine.”
“That is an entirely different story!”
This newbie didn’t know you for several years. This newbie never experienced fighting you much less alongside you. You would eat them alive.
Granted, it would be the newbie’s fault for being so incompetent but they digress.
While on patrol with the newbie, they do their best to sabotage them in every way they can. Giving them the wrong intel, alerting the enemy of their arrival if they do figure out the proper location, and above all making sure you two never cross paths at all. A peer of theirs hurting you would kill them.
Of course, with their frantic and frankly stressed out mind, it wasn’t long before you and the newbie encounter one another.
And, the two of you got along quite well. Your moves like a beautifully choreographed routine in the battlefield. More importantly, it looked as if you were having so much fun.
They really couldn’t help themself
When they stepped in and interrupted the two of you
A glaze in their eyes as they walked ever so slowly to the newbie and strangled them.
That horrified look on your face. They didn’t know if they liked it or hated it.
But what they did know is that from that moment forward, they can never call themself a proper hero again. Their mentor’s words echoed in their head.
“You are staying at the base and that is final. If I see you again out on the field, I’ll be the one to put you behind bars.”
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⟣┄─ ˑ STAGE FOUR. ✧ DEPRESSION
“Breaking News: A new vigilante has been spotted! Has our favorite hero been replaced? Well our sources say yes!”
“And would you look at that, they’re even worse at hiding their interest in their nemesis! Is this the love story we’ve all been waiting for?”
Yandere! Hero doesn’t remember when they last saw the sun anymore.
Their days were spent deep within the basement of the hero HQ, scrolling through any information they could find of you.
Their head constantly replaying the memories you shared, written in a systematic obsessed manner on a journal. From the very second you two first met, to the time you looked at them with eyes full of horror.
Your image had been scribbled, drawn, painted, carved, broken down, and built back up again hundreds of times.
But it just wasn’t enough.
Yandere! Hero used to wish that there would be a day you two would stop fighting. Whether it’d be them finally ending your streak of misdeeds, or you quitting. Anything would have satisfied them.
But now, now they just couldn’t see the appeal of it all.
All they could see was eternity with you.
And they’ll have that one way or another.
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⟣┄─ ˑ STAGE FIVE. ✧ ACCEPTANCE
“I never could have imagine this to happen.”
“Really? You must have thought that I’d put you behind bars one day.”
“My fantasies were always, well — the other way around.”
You wore a calm expression.
Yandere! Hero, ever the fragile ego they had, would have seen this as an insult. A slight to their prowess.
But right now they couldn’t help but sigh in relief. Of course you wouldn’t be mad if they did this. You were you after all. You’ve been through much worse than being tied up and forced into a small cage more fit for an animal than a human.
And you being you, knew the many other ways to unnerve your poor rival.
“Wouldn’t it be ironic? If your replacement were to save me that is.”
You fought the anticipation from appearing on your face as you continued.
“Then they would truly become my hero.”
But your hopes were dashed, your giddiness dimmed as they simply replied.
“Then I’ll just kill them, and the next replacement after that. Until I go through every single capable human this planet has to offer and then more.”
Perhaps there was a reason why Heroes wore a mask aside from hiding their identities. That would certainly explain the chill you felt crawl up your limbs and spine as they lovingly stared at you.
“Because now I know that I love you. I’ll save you from everyone else but myself.”
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©️ hana.no.seiiki - yun | 2023
617 notes · View notes
itsthestutterforme · 2 months
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“Glad You Called” (Jack Reacher x black!reader)
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Summary: Two years ago, Reacher left your home with nothing but a note left behind. What does he expect your reaction to be when he shows up at your door, saying you were in danger?
Notes; GIF is not mine, mistakes are my own, friends to lovers trope
**
The faint pattering of the rain on the tin roof of your outdoor garage was the only thing you could hear from the house.
You stared down at the unsaved numbers flooding your most recent call list. Reacher had been on your mind lately.
Which was kind of out of the norm because you hadn’t seen him in years. And you didn’t exactly end on the best of terms either.
He ghosted you. You woke up one random morning and noticed he was gone. A simple note was left behind:
“You’re perfect. You deserve better. I’m sorry.”
I suppose it was better than nothing, but barely.
He was in the Atlanta area and needed some place to crash. You were the first person that came to mind. He knew you were in Atlanta but had no idea which part.
He would have been searching for hours until he happened to walk by the coffee shop you frequented.
You were eating a piece of bacon avocado toast when you felt eyes on you. You looked up to see the mountain of a man known as Reacher, and that was the start of a very slippery slope.
One night turned in six months. Neither of you crossed that boundary but it was very noticeable that there was something romantic between the two of you.
There was something about the way the looked at you that desperately made you wish that you were a telepath.
That man had libraries worth of words in that brain of his and yet he chose to remain quiet every time.
The best part about it was while he was selective with words, his presence spoke volumes whenever he walked into a room.
Little did you know that what was going through his mind when he would look at you was one thing: marriage.
And that scares the hell out of him. He never crossed the line because he knew he would never go back.
That would be the end of it. His time of being a wandered would be over and he would be forever tied to you.
The domestic life would have taken him over, and it would have been completely voluntary. Because he wants to be there, with you.
He would have lived out his life as a husband and as a father. And he knew he wasn’t going to be ready for that, so he left.
Over the course of the six months of you living together, you expected to see him when you got home. He would ask you how was your day was while he cooked dinner for you.
You’ve gotten used to that. You’ve gotten used to him. And then he was gone.
The letter was all you had left of him for two years. And now there is an unsaved number calling you every day for the past week like clock work.
Speaking of, your phone rings once again. It was the same unsaved number, but this timed you answered.
“Hello?” you heard a deep sigh through the phone.
“Reacher,” you added, your palms growing slick.
“Y/N,” he starts, it was almost as if he wasn’t expecting you to answer.
“What, cat got your tongue?” you said unamused.
“You’re in danger Y/N. When can you get to New York City?”
“What makes you think I want you to protect me?”
“Y/N, we don’t have time for this. They threw Franz out of a helicopter after torturing him for information. I need to know that you are safe.” he says all in one breath.
“Franz?” you repeated.
He remained silent for a moment.
“God. I was at his wedding last year,” you said in disbelief.
“How soon can you get to New York?” he repeats.
“I can protect myself, Reacher. Goodbye.”
“Then I’m coming to you,” he says before ending the call. You stared at your phone with your mouth open in disbelief.
You had a feeling that would be a face you would be making often.
**
You already knew who it was from the solid knock reverberating through your house. However, it is better to be safe than sorry.
You had to admit that you’ve been on edge ever since Reacher called you. You only went out for the essentials and even then, those trips were kept minimal.
Taking your Beretta from your table, you check the chamber and clicked off the safety as you made your way towards the door. Opening the door, you had the barrel of the gun pressed against it.
Much to your surprise, it was not just Reacher at your front door. O’Donnel, Neagley and Dixon were standing behind him.
“I was hoping you weren’t serious,” you start.
“When have you ever known me to joke?”he retorts.
“There was a time that I knew you to have integrity. Obviously that has changed.” you said, clicking the safety back on.
You walked back inside and tucked your gun under your waist band. Reacher took that as an invitation to enter and the rest of the group followed.
Reacher couldn’t help but look around the familiar house. You still liked to keep the house smelling of citrus with a dash of honey.
He loved the smell. It reminded him of Christmas. Reminded him of home. He almost ran into you when you stopped to turn around.
Your glossed over eyes met his and while your gaze remained on his face, his explored every detail.
Your voluminous, curly hair just barely touched your shoulders. Your favorite crop top and sweatpants outfit you wore more often than not. Your fuzzy Crocs that he initially hated but he grew to love.
He grew to love you.
O’Donnel and Neagley shared a look at how cold you were being towards Reacher.
Of course they didn’t know about what happened between you before. So as far as they were concerned, it was unwarranted.
“You guys didn’t need to come all the way over here. Like I told Reacher, I can handle myself.” You explained, breaking the silence.
“I’m sure Franz thought the same thing,” Neagley starts.
“We’re not losing anyone else. And I know I’m not your favorite person right now, but you’re just going to suck it up for the time being.” Reacher stampedes.
“If you somehow think you can just burst into my home and my life, and stick your chest out while you give orders. You’re insane. But if you really expect me to listen, you can fuck off.” You snark, crossing your game and narrowing your eyes at him.
“Okay, obviously we missed a few chapters.” O’Donnel voiced.
The group looked between you and Reacher for a moment until Dixon spoke up, “Whatever bad blood you two have, set it aside. I can guarantee you, it’s not worth your lives.”
“Yeah, we started coming up with a plan of action but it didn’t really get anywhere because Reacher was adamant about getting in touch with you. So now that we’re all together where can we start?” O’Donell facilitates.
“What do we have so far?” you questioned, giving Reacher one last pointed look before sitting down.
**
Should I make a part 2? 🤔
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meowzfordayz · 1 year
Text
hic-cup
Author’s Note: sending get-well-soon vibes to anyone currently experiencing the hiccups. 😔😂
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hic-cup
Hashira x Reader, Kamaboko x Reader
Word Count: ~1,100
CW: dark humor
Emergency Request Fulfilled: Recently work has been very hectic, and I've been a little anxious about personal things...I really would like something cute! If possible, could you either do the Hashira, KNY squad, or the upper moons (you can pick! You write all of them super well!) With a reader who has bad, but very cute, hiccups?
~faqs~
When you have the hiccups…
… Zenitsu thinks you’re dying. Well. Not really, but the way you gasp for air and clutch your chest has him worried and running to get you water nonetheless. If you lie down on the floor, then he will lie down with you and press his ear to your heart, listening for irregularities.
… Inosuke’s overwhelmed by the urge to poke and squish and smoosh and squeeze you. “Stop that!” he growls, arms crossed irritatedly. “Stop wh-*hiccup*-what?” you huff. “THAT!” he shouts, pointing an accusing finger at you, “You sound so, so, so-” “So what?” “SO CUTE.” Eyes widening, your cheeks warm, nose scrunching, “Ino-*hiccup*suke, I-” “It’s like you want me to pop you,” he grumbles. “Pop me?????” “Stop being adorable so I can stop wanting to kill you.”
… Gyomei simply smiles every time you hiccup. Do not ask him to smack them out of you… a broken rib (or three) is much worse than the hiccups. “Pleeease? They won’t go awaaay!” “My love, you really shouldn’t ask me to harm you.” “Harm me?!” you scoff, “Don’t you have control or something?” Affronted, he nods slowly, “I suppose I have control…” “SO HIT ME.” Sighing, he lightly pats your back, whiiich doesn’t help, but it’s the thought that counts!
… Obanai pretends to be annoyed, but is lowkey disappointed when they eventually go away. “Shut up,” he scowls, glaring as you do your best to swallow another hiccup. “Can’t,” you mutter, flicking his shoulder, “They won’t g-*hiccup*-go away.” “Then I’ll make them,” he mutters darkly. “Oh really?” you raise an eyebrow, amused now, “And how exactly will you make them go away?” His mouth opens, closes, and opens again, exhaling loudly in defeat. “Admit it, they’re kinda cute,” you grin, nudging his side, “I’m kinda cute.” He doesn’t respond, opting instead to quickly peck your cheek, blushing profusely even as his glare deepens.
… Tanjirou has a plethora of ideas to ~help you. From having you chug a glass of cold water, finding a paper bag for you to breathe into, slicing a lemon for you to bite into, attempting to jump scare you, and making you hold your breath until you nearly pass out, he’s ultimately sorely defeated by your hiccups’ persistence. Hiccups 1: Tanjirou 0. When they finally disappear, you promptly credit his expertise and efforts, regardless of how delayed their effectiveness was.
… Mitsuri giggles until she also ends up with the hiccups. You’re just so darn beautiful, and your hiccups sound so darn happy! Like yawning near each other, if one of you hiccups, then the other is bound to follow.
… Shinobu offers you a sympathetic, “Oh dear,” paired with a fond smile, and continues about her day. If they’re persistent, then she’ll utilize the placebo effect in an attempt to help aka she’ll give you “medicine” (it’s sugar water, but sometimes it helps). Occasionally, she’ll ~threaten you, “If you hiccup again, then no kisses!” to a lesser degree of success, but it’s mostly endearing to watch you try so hard and fail so miserably (if this actually bothers you, then she only does it once, but it’s really just an inside joke).
… Kyojuro tries to get himself to hiccup too, but the man is Hiccup Proof™. “What’s your secret?!” you whine playfully, pouting as another hiccup jolts your body, “I swear you inhale all your meals, but never experience the hiccups!” “I keep nothing from you,” he frowns slightly, pressing a reassuring kiss to your cheek, “If I could provide better help, then I certainly would!” “Kyo, it was a rhetorical question.” “Rhetorical or not, if I knew a secret, then I would tell you!” “Sooo remind me to never tell you any secrets,” you chuckle, eyebrow raising pointedly. “My love, your secrets are safe with me!” he exclaims earnestly. “Just not anyone else’s?” you drawl teasingly. He pauses to consider your remark, and then shrugs nonchalantly, “Precisely.”
… Sanemi taxes you, and it increases exponentially. “Pay up,” he smirks, palm held upright toward you, “I heard that.” “Y’know, hiccuping isn’t a crime,” you mutter. “And you didn’t have to play along,” he grins smugly, “But you did.” “Well I felt badly about distracting you,” you retort, frowning as a thought occurs to you, “Although, now you’ve changed tasks completely!” “Have I?” he questions lightly, eyes widening innocently. “Yeah, all you’re focusing on is my hiccups and extorting me for spare change!” “If you stop hiccuping, then I could return to my earlier task.” “I can’t just st-*hiccup*-stop!” you whine, still dropping more coins into his hand, “You’re the worst.” “I love you,” he deadpans, winking as he pockets your money, “Maybe I’ll buy you something nice with my extra income.”
… Muichiro says, “Bless you,” after every single one. “But Muichiro, I didn’t snee-*hiccup*-sneeze!” “Bless you.” “Why are you-” “When you sneeze, for a moment, your soul leaves your body, and the blessing is to prevent it from being stolen, yes?” … “Yes?” “When you hiccup, are you not running the same risk?” … “No?” Unperturbed, he shrugs, smiling faintly, “Well, I appreciate you and your hiccups, so I suppose blessing you is my way of expressing my appreciation.”
… Giyuu’s constantly startled, even when you’re occupying the same space. *hiccup* Ah! his eyes widen, a subtle yet observable reaction to your sudden noisiness. *hiccup* Ah! he blinks, another subtle yet observable reaction. *hiccup* “Are you faking it?” he finally mutters, cheeks faintly flushed as he fixes a gentle stare on you. “Faking w-*hiccup*-what?!” “Your hiccups.” “Why would I fake having the hiccups???” “Never mind.” “Am I bothering you?” “Not quite,” he murmurs, reaching across the couch to squeeze your hand, “I hope they go away soon.” Smiling fondly, you raise his hand to your lips, kissing his knuckles, “Me t-*hiccup*-too!” No way is he admitting they ~frighten him.
… Tengen claps excitedly, enthusiastically celebrating your ~unique sound. “How flashy, my dear!” he exclaims with a grin. “Flashy?” you blink, unimpressed. “Hiccups are so rare and so fun!” he explains, “What an interesting phenomenon!” “You have a thing for hiccups,” you deadpan, eyes rolling. “Not at all! I’m just trying to support you through this unfortunate event.” Scoffing, you poke at his chest, “Sooo are my hiccups flashy or unfortunate?” “Both!”
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miley1442111 · 3 months
Note
HEYY I WAS THE ONE WHO ASKED FOR THAT FIC WHERE RAFE HAD TO CHOOSE IT WAS PERFECTTTT SO MUCH MORE PERFECT THAN I WAS EXPECTING!!! THANK YOU SO MUUUUUUUCHHHH YOU SAVED MY LIKEEEE!!!!!
So... Since you saved and now im already in dept with you can I ask for another one??? Pleaseee!! If you dont like Its ok just ignore and If you feel uncomfortable IM SORRYYY.
It would be something like, Rafe gets into a fight as always and then the reader, his friend tries to break the fight and then the other person fighting Rafe says something like "YEAH LISTEN TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND/THEYFRIEND" and like every single person on the vicinity goes dead silent because everyone know you guys like each other but didnt realized yet and EVERYONE is scared of Rafe and also both of you have a partner, whos RIGHT there and will for now on live with the knowledge that: Since Rafe and Reader met, every other relationship they would have would be the runner-up.
Maybe Rafe and Reader trying to prove everyones wrong by sticking to the partners but its undeniable how the two are good for each other, how the always serious and scary Rafe looks like a normal funny happy guy when hanging out with the Reader who also goes from a quiet apathetic person ta burning sun.
Sorry this os too long 😭😭😭😭😭
Also i typed that listening to Entombed by Deftones
Byeee love youuuuuu
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waiting game- r.cameron
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a/n: welcome back light of my life anon. ur too cool i knew u listened to deftones bc only cool people can. thank you for requesting :)
pairing: rafe cameron x fem! reader, male oc x fem! reader, rafe cameron x female oc
summary: i suggest you look at the ask
warnings: kissing, toxic relationship, rafe is a bit of a fucking prick to Ava and reader, rafe is confused and a dick, cursing, underage drinking, drinking, suggestive mentions, reader is going through it, rafe is a crybaby, violence, creepy guy (I think that's it?)
not entirely proofread
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Rafe watched as you crossed the busy dance floor, two drinks in hand. Usually, one of those would be his, he was your best friend after all. But in recent weeks, you’d been becoming friendly with a pogue named ‘Elijah’. He hated him, seriously, he did. He was a piece of shit in Rafe's eyes, and somehow that made you like him more. 
You and Rafe had been friends since you were little kids, and you’d always brought out the best in each other. When Rafe was around you, he wasn’t a lunatic with raging anger issues and a god complex, around him, you weren’t the shy, quiet girl everyone knew you to be. It worked well, and you promised each other that you’d never bullshit each other. That meant; he’d never lie to you, and that you’d always tell it to him straight. It worked, and it worked well. 
So well in fact, that people usually assumed you were dating.
Years and years of being told by your respective friends and family that you two should ‘just date and put the entire island out of its misery made the idea even less appealing, at least to you. You always wanted to do the opposite of what you were told, and that meant never even thinking of Rafe in a romantic sense. Obviously, Rafe never thought of you like that either. He didn’t think about how sweet your lips would taste, how well you two fit together, how you brought out the best in him, or how much he loved you being around. He’d never think about how good calling you ‘his girlfriend’ was when he had to fend off assholes at the bar. He’d never even mention how good it felt to know he was your first kiss, and how you were his (courtesy of you two being very drunk 15 year olds). 
He never thought about any of that. That would be weird, right?
So he stood, his new girlfriend, Ava, hanging off of his arm as he watched you sit in Elijah’s lap. 
“Rafey,” she whined and he winced. He hated that name. “I’m so drunk!” 
She’d had a beer and two vodka lemonade’s he’d made with about one shot of vodka between the two, she wasn’t drunk. Ava was the perfect kook princess, and she was driving him crazy, but Midsummers was in three months, and his dad told him he needed someone respectable. That’s what he’d told you when he asked for candidates, though he must’ve failed to mention the way his dad asked him to bring you. 
“Ava, go sit down then,” Rafe shrugged her off of him. “I have to go talk to someone, ok?”
“You’re seriously leaving me here alone?” Her face formed a frown, but Rafe couldn’t find it in himself to give a fuck. 
“Yes,” he answered before walking off to find you. 
The last couple of months had been very freeing for you. You’d finally gotten over the crush you’d had on Rafe for years, and you were finally out having fun and really dating for the first time. You had your friends, and Rafe finally stopped scolding you like an old man every time you went out with the pogues, you made friends with more people from the mainland since you’d started to go to college there, and Rafe had a girlfriend, so he wasn’t constantly with you, making your crush come back. It felt good. Elijah was hot, and all you really wanted was to fuck someone, and he’d do just fine. Dark curly hair, big brown eyes, and if the semi he was sporting underneath you now was any indication, he was do just fine in the ‘fucking’ department. 
“So what are you studying?” he asked, taking another sip. The mixture of drink and smoke in the air made your head spin in the best way. 
“Journalism and English lit,” you answered, pressing your hand against his chest. “You?”
“Maths,” he answered and you laughed. 
“That’s unexpected,” you chuckled. He looked like he was a surfer boy, not a maths major. His dirt tank top, worn-in swim shorts, and salty skin. He was hot. He laughed with you as his hands travelled lower, grabbing your ass, and you didn’t even mind. 
“I know, right?” He smirked. 
“So why did you pick maths?”
“I’m good at it,” he shrugged. “And I got a scholarship.”
You nodded. “So can you do like, any maths question?” You knew it was low-hanging fruit in terms of flirting, but you really weren’t in the mood for trying very hard. It was late and you were pretty drunk. 
He nodded nipping at your lips with his own. Your conversation was long forgotten as your finger ran through his hair and he groaned into your mouth. He was a good kisser, despite his wandering hands, which were either on your ass or tits, but again, you didn’t mind. 
He pulled away with glazed, lust-filled eyes. “You wanna get out of here?”
You nodded, then pulled him back in to kiss you. 
“Y/n!” Jj’s voice rang out in your ear, and he started to tap you hard on the shoulder. “Eli!”
You pulled away, annoyed. “What?” 
“Rafe is beating the shit out of  one of Eli’s friends, can you talk him down please?”
“What?” Eli asked. “Who?”
“Josh,” Jj answered. “Let’s go Y/n, before Rafe kills someone ideally!” Jj said it in a sing-song voice to mask the truth in his words. Rafe had come very close to seriously hurting people before, and every year he was just getting stronger (thanks to his gym addiction and never-ending rage). 
You reluctantly got off of Eli’s lap and ran behind Jj as he led you to the scene. 
Rafe was beating the shit out of Eli’s best friend, Josh and he was not looking good. He was trying to fight back, but you could tell he was close to tapping out, though you also knew that Rafe didn’t do ‘tap-outs’. 
“Rafe!” You shouted as the circle of people silenced. “Stop being a fucking idiot, get off of him!” you grabbed one of his arms, angry now. Your nights were always getting ruined by Rafe, especially recently. He had no right to pull shit like this, it wasn’t fair that you always had to clean up his messes. 
“Yeah exactly, listen to your girlfriend!” Josh spat. 
The circle of people watching went dead silent, and phones stopped recording. Both you and Rafe froze. Josh dropped to the floor, and Eli walked him off without sparing you a glance. The moment was frozen, and you were stuck in place, staring at Rafe's eyes.
Rafe could always tell how you were feeling but he couldn't now.
And it scared the shit out of him.
After another moment of confusion and being frozen, you looked after Eli, and tried to walk after him, but Rafe grabbed your arm. 
“Can we talk ab-”
“No! You fucking asshole! Did you really need to ruin tonight for me? Seriously? Go fuck yourself Rafe!” You cursed, then turned to the crowd around you. “Rafe Cameron is not my boyfriend, nor will he ever be, the shows over folks, fuck off!”
And with that you ran off to find Eli and Josh. 
----------------------
Rafe was searching the party for you. You weren’t where Eli had been before, and he wanted to talk to you, to drag you away from that piece of shit. 
In all honesty, the past few months had been a very confusing time for Rafe. He’d started college (only because his dad asked him to), he’d gotten his first long-term (3 months so far) relationship, he’d gone off drugs for the most part, he’d started feeling things for you. 
His best friend. 
Not that he hadn’t realised it before, but you were just so… you. So gorgeous, so smart, so funny, all of you. It was proving to be an issue, so he’d stopped hanging out with you so much, at least until he could figure out what was going on. He was about 99% sure his feelings were platonic, because everyone felt this way for their best friend, right? Obviously. Totally. Maybe?
He crossed the dance floor, only to be met with the face of Josh, Eli’s friend. And he was talking about you.
“Yeah, Eli’s got the only fucking hot girl here,” He smirked. Rafe hated how he smirked. He hated how he looked. He hated everything about this man, the one he’d never even met. “I’ll ask him if he’ll share,” he laughed like a sleazy piece of shit, and so did his friends. 
“Excuse me,” Rafe tried to move past them, but Josh grabbed his arm.
“Oh shit! You’re the boyfriend,” Josh chuckled and Rafe didn't correct him. “Sorry dude, she’s all mine tonight.”
And that’s when Rafe’s right hand made contact with his face. 
----------------------
Rafe stood there staring dumbly at his bloodied and bruised hands. You’d never spoken to him like that, ever. Rafe knew he could fly off the handle, and he knew it annoyed you when you had to fix everything for him, but you’d never complain. Tonight. Tonight, it finally boiled over and you shouted at him. Like he was anyone. Like he wasn’t your best friend, your Rafe. 
“You ok?” 
Topper’s voice cut through the ringing in his ears. Rafe’s eyes were glossy with unshed tears and it was taking a lot of willpower to not scream and try to break something, or sob and run after you. 
“Fine,” he said, letters over-punctuated as he rolled his eyes, looking up to stop the tears from falling. 
“Rafey!” Fucking Ava. “Did you get into another fight over me again?” She sighed, faking anger. He knew she didn’t give a fuck if he fought, she only cared about what the fight was about. 
“No,” he answered, getting closer to her face, dwarfing her with his tall height. “Go away.”
She pouted. “Rafey-”
“Stop fucking calling me that,” He cursed, grabbing the wrist of her hand, which was reaching to touch his face. “Ava, go home.”
“You brought me here,” she mumbled. 
“Yeah, so find another way home,” he chuckled softly, delighting in making her feel small. 
Ava looked down, angry now. “You’re a piece of shit, you know that?”
Rafe just smirked. “But you’re still with me, so I must not be that bad,” he laughed in her face. “Unless it’s just your daddy issues-”
He was hit so fast he didn’t even know what had happened. 
“Don’t ever talk to her like that again,” Kiara scoffed, squaring up to Rafe. “Ava, you can get a ride with me, ok?” Ava nodded and walked off with Kiara as you appeared. 
Kiara’d hit him. And he’d deserved it. 
Kelce and Topper cleared off, they knew this was about you. 
“How’s Elijah?” He rubbed his red cheek. 
“Josh is fine, thanks for asking,” your voice was cutting and precise. 
“I asked about Eli,” Rafe growled, grabbing your hand. 
“And I answered about Josh.”
He chuckled. “Your friends suck.”
“Your girlfriend is a bimbo.”
Rafe smiled. “And she takes dick like a champ, what more could a man want?”
Your face went from mild annoyance directly to disgust. “I’ll see you later,” you scoffed, starting to walk off. 
“Wait, wait, wait!” He called after you. “I-I’m sorry, ok? I was an asshole, and I’m sorry. That was a gross thing to say, I’m drunk and I just got beaten up, can you please forgive me?” he begged. 
But you were still walking away from him, and he was losing you. He followed you through the hoards of people, pleading and begging for you to forgive him as he trailed behind.
Finally, on the most secluded area of the beach you turned to him with tears streaming down your cheeks, and he felt his heart break. 
“Fucking hell Rafe! Can you not just notice anyone else around you for once!? You just ruined my fucking chances with Eli, you just beat the shit out of someone, and you just treated your girlfriend like she was some fangirl, you think I was to be associated with you right now? Let alone with you right now?! Can you stop being so tunnel-visioned? Fuck’s sake!” You wiped your eyes. “I’m so sick of being your fucking babysitter, you’re older than me Rafe! Please act like an adult! Treat your girlfriend better and treat the people around you better!” You sighed. “Treat me better.” 
Rafe’s heart was breaking. He never wanted to hurt you, that was the one thing he’d sworn he’d never do. You were with him through everything, through thick and fucking thin. And he was treating you like this? This was unacceptable,and he felt so guilty he wanted to throw up. 
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, the tears finally falling. “I’m sorry.”
You nodded, crossing your arms over. “Where?! Where are you fucking sorry Rafe? Because all I keep seeing is empty fucking promises and bullshit excuses,” You groaned. “You think I want to be the one scolding you? You think I want to have to de-escalate situations for you? No! This was my one fucking night off from work too, and you ruined it.”
“I’m sorry,” he was breathing heavily, he’d never felt so shitty. 
“Rafe,” you sighed. “Please don’t say things you don’t mean.”
And with that you walked away. 
----------------------
You dialled Eli’s number and prayed that he would answer. 
“Hey,” he sighed. 
“I’m so sorry,” you immediately answered. “Can we still meet up?”
He sighed into the phone. “I’m not sure Y/n, you kind of seem… preoccupied with Rafe.”
Fuck. Yet another one of your relationships ruined by Rafe Cameron. “What do you mean?”
“You don’t see it?” he chuckled. “You two are perfect for each other. He’s like the most angry and uncontrollable guy I’ve ever seen, and you control him and calm him down by just breathing. And you were the most shy and quiet person I’d ever seen, but when I see you talking with Rafe, or just being around him, you’re so much more brave and extroverted. It’s seriously impressive. You two complement each other Y/n. You bring the real him out, and he brings the real you out. That’s beautiful, and i’m not going to be the person to fuck that up.”
You finally understood. Rafe loved you back. You loved Rafe. Simple. Why did you ever overcomplicate this?
“Ok, thanks Eli,” you sighed, then hung up. You were still angry with Rafe, but you needed to tell him, and you needed to go now.
When you turned around, you ran straight into someone, Rafe.
“I couldn’t just let you walk away, you were crying and-”
“I’m super pissed with you, obviously,” you interrupted. “But I love you, like, love you. And I have for a long time.” 
Rafe’s jaw dropped. That’s all he had wanted to hear his whole life, and he only wanted to hear it form your perfect lips. 
“I-I-I-” he took a deep breath. “I love you too.”
He went in for a kiss but you pushed him back. “I’m still pissed, and you still have a girlfriend.”
He nodded, agreeing. “Right.”
You pressed your lips to his cheek. He smiled. There was a moment of silence. 
“Tanneyhill?” he offered. You agreed, and you walked there hand in hand. 
While you weren’t together yet, you would be. 
And that was enough for the both of you.
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obx masterlist :)
navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games, challengers :)
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hazelfoureyes · 3 months
Text
A Doe in Fall (Part 8)
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⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall
A burlesquer with a penchant for conning men, you find your latest game interrupted when your next mark saves you from an aggressive fan— by killing him. The chance encounter left you curious, still half convinced you could complete your normal chase. Unbeknownst to you, you were the one being tracked.
Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦 Part 7 - Recognition smut💦 Part 8 - Trust sexual 🥵 📍 Part 9 - Shiny Things Part 10 - Good Deeds
Part 8 - Trust
Detective Brady is sharper than you initially thought, though Alastor is (seemingly) unfazed by the threat. While you both explore the idea of ‘home’ a familiar face shows up at your apartment.
「Warnings/Tags: Human Alastor x Fem Burlesquer reader, Detective Brady exists a lot and maybe too much, fingering lol, phone calls, almost our first fight, stress, Disney mom rule, Ruth is pretty alright for now, Brenda」
forgot to tag you in the deleted scene for TRDFAHS
M👻D☠️N👽I😈
Your mother always said ‘Anger is your sword and shield’. So you postured yourself as someone mad. One hip out, arms crossed, eyes narrowed.
“Sir I don’t appreciate a man in a lady’s space.”
Brady bit his tongue, wanting to say something sharp.
 I don’t see any ladies here.
 He met the glares of the women behind you. “Ah, well-,”
“Do you really expect her to leave in her robe?”
“Aren’t you the man whose been stalking her?”
“Autumn I’ll go with you.”
“You want her to get into a strange man’s car?”
He felt like a fox about to be pecked to death by the hens.
“Now-! Alright I’m seeing I maybe,” he set your shoes down and slid past you and between the other performers, “got a little eager to speak to you.”
“Does Janet know you like to hang around burlesquers?” Someone said as his back was turned.
Like having ice water poured over his head, his shoulders tensed as did his tone. “I’ll be right out the door.”
You tried to hide the tremble in your hands, but failed. Ruth slid beside you, “What do you need?”
A phone. But the cord wouldn’t reach that far. You wanted to tell Alastor. You needed him to know that detective had you cornered and knew of his existence.
“Could you stay with me? I’m not going anywhere. But I’ll feel safer if I’m not talking to him alone. In case he tries to drag me out. He seems a little off his rocker.” You were genuinely scared he would grab you by the arm and pull you out of the theater if he didn’t think anyone would see. 
She patted your back, the others filing in to continue with their work of getting dressed and undressed. You took your time, trying to plan what you would say.
Brady felt an embarrassed blush take hold as the women moved past him with scowls and tsks. He could feel a little bit of his sanity slip back now that you were in front of him. 
“I have some questions about Tommy. I’ve been trying to talk to you for weeks. We can head down now.”
Oddly, your mother also taught you, ‘You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.’ 
She didn’t always make a lot of sense, contradicting herself daily. 
Time to use the tried and true tactic, “I am sorry, detective. I had some trouble recently and have been keeping to myself… going home as soon as possible. Just trying to keep my nose clean. So to speak.”
Brady watched you look up at him with a face his daughter often gave him when she was in trouble. But you weren’t a child and you surely weren’t his daughter. “That’s no excuse to dodge me.”
Your turn to bite your tongue, “Of course, sir.”
Ruth was… confused. She’d never seen you so obedient. You had more venom in your voice after taking a hit from Tommy knowing a third could be close behind. Why were you being so small?
“Are you ready to go?” He fished in his pocket for his car door keys. 
Ruth felt the need to interject, “She’s not going anywhere.”
Perfect.
You nodded, “I won’t be out at night, sir. You know better than most about the dangers.” Your dangers. Your darling Alastor.
“No, no no,” an unhinged chuckle from the fraying detective, “You’re not slipping away again. I have my car, I’ll take you there and bring you home.”
Ruth looked to you, then back to the detective, “Is she under arrest?”
Brady rolled his eyes, “Of course not.”
“Then? What gives you the right?”
Technically, nothing. He didn’t need to talk to you. His lead still stood. But maybe you’d slip and say something to expedite his search for the radio man. Maybe this would only end with Tommy. But he felt something tickling the back of his skull. An urge to not stop pushing.
“I’ll meet you at the station tomorrow morning. Is it the address on the card you gave me?” Maybe you would, maybe you wouldn’t. You just needed him gone so you could call Alastor. 
He was shaking his notebook, key looped onto his finger. A nervous habit. “You still have my card?”
A smile, “Of course. In case any news came up. I’d have called but I didn’t realize you were so worked up.”
He scoffed. He wasn’t worked up. He was just annoyed. Maybe a little rougher in demeanor than usual but whose fault was that?
“If you don’t turn up tomorrow-,”
Ruth, taller than most women and some men and wide at the shoulders, leaned in.
Brady’s eyeline adjusted from yours to Ruth’s. Skye Scraper wasn’t just a pun, it was a cruel nickname she took ownership of. “Finish that sentence.”
The conversation ended there, Brady leaving with a huff.
You’d memorized the number the night Alastor gave it to you, too scared to write it down. He warned you though he wouldn’t be the one to answer.
“Is Alastor still there?” You tried to smile so you sounded less panicked. Ruth mouthed his name and pretended to swoon as you held the phone close to your ear. 
“Uhh depends, who is this?” Brenda answered, a voice you’d never heard but a woman Alastor had primed you for. 
“….”, but why hadn’t you thought through this part, what name was safe? Which was recognizable? You didn’t like the idea of this woman knowing your name. “Tell him it’s Autumn.”
“….” 
You laughed at Ruth, waiting still for a reply from Brenda, “Hello?”
“Is this a crank? Autumn like the season? I-,” a commotion, “Hey there! No. I don’t know. Well it’s past hours anywa-.”
Alastor was lying across Brenda’s desk to reach the phone, having wrestled it from the woman’s grip, “I’m here. What’s wrong? I was about to leave.”
“I’ll walk home tonight.” It hurt, physically hurt, to say it.
Alastor tried to keep his face neutral, “Oh.” Nervous fingers twirling the cord, “One second.” 
Harsh whispers, some clicks, and he was back, “I’m in my office. What happened?”
“Yeah Ruth is with me. It’s okay. I’ll call you like normal tomorrow?” 
“Should I swing by your apartment?” He considered doing it regardless of your answer.
“Ah, no. I wouldn’t recommend it. I’ll be heading to the police station early tomorrow so I’ll be asleep as soon as I’m flat.” Putting your hand over the receiver, you spoke to Ruth, “Thank you, we got it figured out.”
His heart sank to his stomach, “Did he finally manage to catch you?”
“Yeah. Or—-,” your voice cracked a little, the fear rolling in as soon as Ruth walked away, “Yeah.”
“I’m coming over to the theater.”
Cupping the phone you curved your shoulders in and turned away from the staff milling about, “Don’t, that’s worse.” Tears stung your eyes. You felt like you’d failed him. You had somehow, hadn’t you? The loose thread Brady could grab ahold of was you.
“If you can’t come to the alley I’ll leave after a couple minutes. But I’ll be there in twenty, same time as our normal pick up.”
“Alastor, that’s reckless.”
“Please, dear, I don’t want our first fight to be over my work line.” A calming breath, “You don’t have to meet me, but I’ll be there. Just five minutes, then I’ll be off.”
You decided the safest thing to do was to wait in the alley. If you saw any signs of Brady or anyone coming out, you’d go back inside and just miss the meeting. But the idea of Alastor being just beyond the wall, waiting all alone, was too much.
But how much harder would it be if the wall was of the prison? Or worse, dense earth under your feet? That’s what Brady was wanting. 
You hadn’t realized you’d been chewing your nails until his car turned down the alley from the back and you tore off much of the length of your thumbnail.
Your arms were thrown around him before he was fully out of the car, “Alastor, he knows I have a guy. He wanted me to go down right now but I managed to push it to tomorrow.” Alastor tried to decipher the words as you spoke them into his vest, “What do I do?”
Normally you’d have your own plans in mind but this was too big, this was capable of hurting him more than anyone else. 
He smelled like ink and smoke, a scent you inhaled as you tried to calm your breath.
A large hand patted your head, “Okay. You go tomorrow. It’ll be fine. Don’t stress.” Pulling you off he placed chaste kisses across your face. “Think about what you want to say to him and we can talk it out in the morning. Everything is fine.”
The reality of you standing in a dirty alley crying into the arms of a murderer set in. Then the little detail you were both killers creeped over your chest and took hold of your throat.
He was impressed at the strength of your hands as you gripped at his clothes. Leaning against the car, he offered you his most charming smile.
“Deep breaths, dear. Do I look scared?”
He didn’t. He looked like a magazine ad for French cologne or razor blades that left the softest skin. 
“No.” You shook your head.
“No.” He nodded. “It’ll be okay. If you don’t go, he will hound you worse. If you do go, maybe he’ll realize he’s got a handful of nothing.”
His smile blinded you. Bright grin as he rested against his car, arms open. 
“Do you really think so? A handful of nothing?”
“Did he say my name?”
“No.”
“Did he–” he elongated the word, lips pursed as he searched the sky for his next words, “have Tommy’s body?”
You laughed, morbid but preposterous, “I didn’t pat him down. Coulda.” 
Alastor snapped his fingers, “We’ll have to just assume he didn’t.” A moment of tension. The act of joking barely traversing the space between your bodies let alone reaching the stress under your skin. His hands came to your shoulders; firm, secure. “Did you want to have that fight now? About me coming over here.”
You rolled your eyes, obviously not. “Ala-,” you started and stopped.
“I’ll admit I’m being reckless but I think we can both agree my way is more fun.” Smile sliding into a smirk, he cocked his head and lowered it to get back into your line of sight. When you stuck your tongue out he took a deep breath in, relief. “Are you sure I can’t take you home?”
To which home, you wondered. He used the word so casually and interchangeably…
Face close to yours. Eyes solely on you. Perhaps the stage wasn’t as necessary as you’d once thought. Lips on lips, the feeling of his smile spreading as he returned the kiss. A second of panic as you realized you couldn’t see or hear or sense what else was happening anymore in the alley. Brady could have had you in handcuffs and you wouldn’t be the wiser. Not as long as Alastor’s mouth was moving over yours.
“I’ll call in the morning.” He said into your exhale.
You hadn’t opened your eyes yet. Not ready to return to earth. A pout from you. A chuckle from him. “I’ll be waiting,” You finally said. 
While you did your waiting, shuffling around the theater and later tossing around in bed, Alastor fell into a different kind of purgatory.
One he hadn’t realized he’d made for himself until you weren’t there. 
The house was quiet, almost eerie. Even with music on he found himself nearly uncomfortable. He shifted several times in his chair while reading, not finding any way to settle in. 
His bed was lopsided. Suddenly one side was too light. Multiple times his hand slid under the sheets in search of you out of habit. 
What a terrible feeling; to want someone. To know you could have them but they just… weren’t there.
It didn't make any sense. He knew he’d see you soon, in less than a day's time even. He typically enjoyed his home and its silence. Being alone was predictable and therefore comforting. Well, it had been. Before you. 
The feeling in his chest, akin to a magnet tugging through his sternum toward a distant partner, didn’t abate.
Only when he heard your voice again over the phone did he find a sliver of peace.
“I’ve decided I’ll deny I have a guy. And, I’ll never tell him about you. It’s safer if he never connects us.”
Alastor was listening, honestly, but he wasn’t really processing. His mind was worried about something else. The detective genuinely didn’t bother him but he had to agree, “I suppose that’s best. As long as we can manage it, to not let him know we’re together.”
Together.
You were together with him. An item. How spectacular you must be to be a part of anything with him.
But for how long? With a certain detective breathing down your neck…, “I’m scared. Actually.”
You could hear the smile in Alastor’s breath, it was odd but eased you. 
“He will never have enough to convict us. He’ll drive himself crazy trying. Trust me.” He soothed. 
Did you have any choice? “Okay. You’re right. I trust you.” Unequivocally so. 
He cleared his throat, “Sorry to change the subject…”
“Please.”
“I want you to come over again tonight. What do you think?”
“Oh, yeah. Of course, don’t even need to ask. I’ll always say yes.” All you needed to do was get through Brady and you’d be home.
But for Alastor, well, he wasn’t done asking the question. A moment of panic from a place unrecognized in his brain, fear of losing himself entirely. But what good was a safe harbor if he never ventured out to sea? That’s just a restraint then, isn’t it? 
Maybe you held a place for him even richer in its comforts than his solitude.
So he let himself drift away from familiar shores, no sails and no compass, “I think it’d be smart to bring over a couple sets of clothes. I can keep them washed and always here for you. Would that be alright?” He had wanted to suggest it while together, but Brady was ruining more than his sleep.
Oh.
The same silence from when he first extended the invitation, the deja vu not lost on you. You struggled to decipher the second meaning you were sure was there. Maybe he didn't know what he had asked. 
“I know it’s boring out in the boonies but, you’re welcome to just stay over while I go to work. I can come back and get you for rehearsals… I’ll enjoy the clubs or come back and make something for a late dinner for us, and bring you home when you’re done.”
He said it. He hadn’t really meant to, so he felt the need to clarify, but you also needed him to clarify just as quickly, “I -,”
“Did you me-?”
“Sorry, go ahead.”
“No I interrupted you-,”
“Not at all pl-,”
“Alastor for the love of God please don’t make me keep talking right now.” You lightly knocked your head with the phone a few times. Your heart was gasping for an ounce of understanding.
He chuckled, glad you were still very much yourself, “I meant, take you home as in, away from work. So, here. Or, there, if you’d prefer.” His face scrunched up, this wasn’t a conversation he had any practice in, “Anywhere really. I’ll drive you anywhere.”
“Alabama?”
He looked at the phone as if you were in it. Alabama? 
“Like— the first time you asked me over.” You added quickly. A terrible joke, a bad callback that made it painfully obvious you committed everything he said to memory.
Alastor rested his cheek on the dining table, laughing into the wood before bringing the receiver back. You always offered him an out of uncomfortable situations, “Well the offer still stands. I'd be willing to even venture at least halfway across Texas.” 
“The best half of Texas is on our side so that’s a generous offer. But, given our work schedules, I think your house would be much better. Time wise.” 
He let his eyes close as he felt the coldness of the wood, “Is that a yes then? To bringing over a couple of items… for ease.” Was it a mistake? Would he regret it? 
You were worth regrets. He had decided. He wanted you to say yes.
The weight of what he was asking wasn’t lost on you an ounce. You could see your window from the phone booth. You took great pride in your little apartment. It was your space and no one else’s. As a child you struggled to have your own anything, so you valued your home. 
But could you call any place so far from Alastor a home?
It’s just a few items. You weren’t giving up your lease. It’s a baby step. One you could easily walk back if you needed to later. It’s not like you hadn’t spent every night possible already since that first offer.
“Yes.” 
It was a plan that took your mind off cops. Have your interrogation, go home, then go home for a relaxing evening of jazz and drink.
The levity ended though the second you hung up the receiver. An obstacle between you and him still stood. You pulled out your bag but couldn’t find the will to pack it. Your hands were too busy as you chewed on your thumbnail again.
Brady noticed the uneven length when you sat down and set your hands on the table.
“Surprised you showed.” He opened his notebook and readied his pencil. “First things first, what is your legal name?”
A chill. You’d gotten your warning the night before to prepare something to say but ignored it. Your mind was flipping through words and images. Piercing all of it were the white reflective eyes of the deer along the road. You decided to lean into what you knew. 
“Autumn.”
“Really? Never heard the name Autumn before.”
“Me either. Made for an easy stage name.”
“I’ll need to see your birth records, just to be sure.”
You sucked your teeth. “Ah, unfortunately…all that stuff was left behind with my mom when I moved.”
“And where can I find her?
“Corner of North Villere street and Piety.”
“And your address?”
You paused. His eyes rose and met yours. The radiant aqua from the cafe morning was now an icy color. “I don’t give my address out. You know where I work.”
“But you’re fine giving me your mother’s address? That’s cold.”
“Not as cold as she is, I’m sure of that.”
“Fine, I’ll find it in the census records.” He flipped the page, “Tell me about the dates Tommy arranged.” He tapped his notepad on the table like it was the starting bell of a fight.
You wished Alastor was with you, but also wished he would never enter that station. “Apparently many of the dancers agreed, got a cut. I had no idea about it until he,” you remembered the man and his ugly tie, “introduced me to a man who was very forward. I insulted him and ran off. Lost Tommy good money, apparently.”
“And who was that?”
You searched your memory, “S something. Mister Stein? I honestly wasn’t listening much after I realized what was happening.”
Brady nodded, “And then he knocked you around?”
You winced without meaning too, “Yeah. Got me good.”
Brady waited for you to continue talking, but you had learned this game. People know silence is uncomfortable and will use that against you. So you let the silence stay. Let the awkward tension build. You had limited time, he knew that.
He caved first. “And… the next date. Last time anyone saw Tommy. Tell me about that.”
Lying was second nature to you. You had killed for Alastor. You could do this. Deep breaths, slink into yourself. You imagined Alastor choked on the park grounds, wet and unmoving. Imagined him cold to the touch.
“Tommy said he’d kill me if I didn’t go. So I did. Promised me he’d stay with me for protection.” Tears welled. Bloody hands and a large rock. “But as soon as he got his money he left.” 
Brady was writing, “And the man? What was his name.”
“Something foreign. Kerr-something. Or Car?”
He looked up slightly, “You’re pretty terrible at names.”
You wiped away your tears, “I had more pressing concerns at the time than trying to remember that man’s name. I was hoping I’d never need to know it.”
Brady hummed, “Yeah. And what did your beau think of this?”
Did you hide it? The flash of panic that rolled under the flesh of your face, “If I had a beau Tommy wouldn’t have made me do that. He said that himself.”
“Too bad he’s not here to confirm.”
“If he was we wouldn’t be having this conversation, detective.”
“Touché. Clever little lady aren’t you?”
Fuck.
You shifted slightly in your seat, looking downward in an attempt at being bashful. “That’s kind to say.”
“So why did,” he flipped through his book, “Beth say you stopped singin’ on Sundays cuz of your radio boyfriend?”
“Ah,” a weak laugh to hide the way your breath got sucked in with panic. The words ‘radio boyfriend’ punched the air from your lungs. “You must mean the rake. Took me for a ride at a club corner and sent me off in a cab to never see me again. Didn’t know he was in radio though.” 
“Well now you’re lying and I don’t appreciate it one ounce ma’am.“
“What?”
“Beth says he’s been coming to your shows for nearly half a year.”
No acting necessary for this part. “What are you talking about? I met him at a club. We arranged a date and he picked me up at—“
“Beth’s dive.”
“…. Yeah. Well.” He’d been there before? So often? And you never noticed…, “That’s news to me, that he had been there for so long, it’s got its regulars though so...” You shifted again, this time with a clear uncomfortable edge. 
“He stopped coming when you stopped singing.”
“….guess he got what he wanted then. A fun time in the swing hall bathroom.”  Anger. Unreal and unfounded. Trying your best to hide how confused you were.
“Sounds like a stalker, miss. Maybe one who woulda been quite unhappy to hear you were selli-,”
You cut him off, eyes snapping up to meet his, “I really recommend you reconsider your wording.”
Brady laughed with a huff, “A man dizzy with a dame can do some funny stuff. Especially if he hears she’s in a pickle.”
“Well, no knight coming to rescue me. I’ve sworn off men. It’s why I’ve been leaving work early. Getting home, reading, sleeping. He really did a number on my heart and my pride as a woman.”
Brady’s pencil stopped moving. 
“And his name?”
You’d never fucking say it. He could walk in on you moaning ‘Alastor’ and you’d still act like you’d never heard that string of syllables in your life. 
“John.”
Brady laughed and tossed the pencil to the table, “Let me guess, last name Doe?”
You shrugged, “We weren’t on a full name basis. He was handsome, he took me out, we fucked, I never saw him again” You delighted in the way his face screwed up at your unladylike language. 
“So, someone in radio named John. You know I’m going to be at every broadcaster talking to every John, right?” The nervous shaking of his notebook again. 
“When you find him let me know.”
“Oh I will.” He said it so quickly, so sharply you could feel it cut at your cheek as the words flew past you.
You pulled your hands into your lap, eyes firmly locked on Brady’s. “You look tired, sir. I hope my answers will help you. So you can rest.”
“I am tired. Of people jerking me around. You won’t give me your address, you don’t remember anyone’s name, not even your own, and you deny having a man I know you have.”
If you screamed would he have you committed? “I’m terribly sorry,” you leaned over the table and pulled a piece of fuzz off his shoulder, “my friend gave you inaccurate and dated information. I am genuinely trying to help as much as I can.”
Upon closer inspection, his eyes were more than just blue. They were dark and light, deep and shallow. Blue so far down it was nearly black. A blue so bright it was a cousin of white. Eyes you were sure would haunt you. 
“Help me then, Autumn.” Your brows rose at the request. He leaned back and away from you, “Just tell me what happened to Tommy. What your guy did. If he was trying to protect your name then we could find a sympathetic jury.”
Sympathy? Your smile was too wide, stare gone too soft. What sympathy did he have or would anyone have for you? Did he think you wanted the tender hearts of strangers? “Tommy ran off with a bag of money. He was a good man with a bad habit. That’s all I know. I have no partner, man or otherwise.”
A standstill. 
Brady felt a twitch in his hands he wasn’t used to. An itch to move. Unlike him, and a little frightening. 
Maybe he had been running himself ragged. 
Back sliding down slightly in his chair, he laced his fingers and rested them in his lap, “You know I’m gonna find out what happened, right?” His tone had shifted to something serious and calm. He said it like he was telling you a secret. Low but firm. Steady and sure. 
Those eyes. No, worse. What was behind them. You could see it clearly; unflappable determination. He absolutely would. 
“I trust you will.” A moment of silence again as you both felt the conversation die. As you stood, Brady did too.
“I wasn’t bluffing about him going to Beth’s for more than half a year now. I don’t know how you think this is gonna end but it won’t end pretty. Whether it was just your boss or all the others on my desk, end it with him and help us bring Tommy home to his mother.”
You adjusted your purse on your shoulder, “I don’t know how many time-,”
“Autumn. I’ve seen enough make up covered bruises to clock em from across the room. That’s the act of a possessive, immature man. Just think about what I said,” You opened the door in an effort to keep your hands from shooting to your neck. “There’s no white picket fence or church bells for you two. He’s a bad man. I think he may even be an evil man. You’re gonna end up hurt, or dead.”
A laugh bubbled up in your chest but you managed to stifle it. With an honest smile you replied, “We’re all gonna end up dead someday, Detective. I’ll call if I have any news. Thanks for your concern and … evident hard work.” You offered a little nod of your head before leaving the room and the station as quickly as you could without running. 
When he set down his notebook after returning to his desk, he couldn’t sit. Energy was buzzing in his limbs. He needed to run or swing or pace.
His desk neighbor watched him immediately pick up the notebook again and grab his hat. A few other men shared a glance as Brady rushed out, an unsettling feeling passed among them. 
“He’s still on that case?” One asked quietly, going back to his papers.
“Not officially….” Answered Freeman, standing at the window and watching Brady flag down a taxi.
“North Villere street and Piety, please.” He told the driver, not noticing his friend in the window.
It wasn’t near the station, nor the dance scene. He wondered if your mother would be any more amiable. What kind of woman would raise such a creature as you?
When the car slowed, Brady clicked back into his surroundings. He looked through every window hoping to see something different.
After a long pause the cabbie asked, “Ya gonna get out?”
His knuckles turned white as he gripped the edge of the seat. “No. Take me back to the station.”
His blood pressure rose so quickly he was sure he would black out as the cab turned around and drove back past the sign; Vincent DePaul cemetery.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
Alastor kissed away the worries when he took your bag from you. Every detail of the interview was just hummed away. “Even if he finds me, without a body he has no case.” He reminded you like it was nothing short of fact.
“What if he gets one?”
“Not one of mine, I can assure you. He’d sooner need to kill someone himself and call it my fault.” A pause, was that something the detective would do? He shook off the thought. 
He was so confident that even though you knew it was just skin deep it still gave you a sense of calm. The bodies, where they went after he was done with them in the greenhouse, was the last step he hadn’t shared with you.
There was one thing you didn’t mention about the interrogation. 
You waited until you were a few drinks in, Alastor’s bowtie off and shirt unbuttoned several buttons before bringing it up. Uncharacteristically nervous about how he’d react when you broached the topic, you needed several deep breaths to get up your courage. Normally the idea of offending a man with an honest question wouldn’t ruffle you a bit, but once again there was nothing normal about you and Alastor. He made you so unlike yourself but not necessarily worse. Perhaps some consideration of other’s reactions wasn’t a bad thing. 
“This is awkward to ask.” It was dark already, the sun setting earlier and earlier. The buzz of the kitchen light could be heard through the screen door, the light just enough to let you see each other's features clearly. Leaning back on both hands for support, your legs rested in an unladylike spread down the porch stairs. No shoes. No girdle. No pretense.
Would he be mad? Or maybe offended?
“Brady said you had been going to my Sunday shows for awhile. Months before we actually met. Did you really meet me by coincidence?”
“Or was I stalking you as my next victim?” His head fell to the side, eyes closed and smile wide. “I saw you there, yes. And though you weren’t the best singer, I did enjoy your shows.”
You tried to see him without directly turning your head. 
“But yes, it was a coincidence. I had noticed that brute of a man a couple weeks in a row, staring at you so intensely. Word got around he had made a scene some time ago with a dancer.” 
You listened like someone was telling you your own story. It was an odd feeling, hearing someone recount your days from a different perspective. An unknown one. 
“I was surprised to see you at the theater when I followed him there. Even more so to see you in the alleyway.”
If he had said it wasn’t a coincidence, you genuinely didn’t know what you’d have done. You’d be scared and angry. Another predator lurking just past the tree lines.
Your relief must have been visible. “He really got to you, didn’t he?” Alastor asked, leaning over and letting his shoulder bump into yours. He was still riding the high of putting away your belongings in his closet and drawers. 
“Yeah. He gives me a bad feeling. Like…a brick wall barreling toward me.” You kicked a leaf off the steps, “Or like, when you see a big dark cloud on the horizon. Can’t do anything but wait and hunker down.”
How do you wait out a storm so set on burying you?
“Dear,” his hands rose and palms flipped up in a way that said he wasn’t hiding anything, “We get hurricanes annually. We’ve survived every one thus far. He’s just a drip. A sprinkle of a man.”
People have drowned on land before. A sprinkle could lead to pneumonia and that could lead to a wooden box. 
He tried to change the topic, laughing about Brenda’s reaction to the call and making plans for an evening out when things settled down again. You listened, but it was your turn to be half there. 
You could barely muster concern when you realized you’d forgotten your makeup and hair wrap at home when you were preparing for bed. What you would give for going home barefaced with a ruined hairdo to be the biggest stress of your week. 
The distance in your stare was weighing down his joy, how could he relish in the newest addition to his home when you were so burdened? Even in the moonless night he could see the faintest light reflecting off your eyes as you stared at the ceiling. Did you even feel his stare? 
He couldn’t let Brady poison his bed, and the man was clearly there now. Chasing you in your mind still. 
“Could I offer you a distraction?” Alastor slipped up against you, hand finding your hip. He could see your smile forming. 
“I wouldn’t argue against a distraction…,” you’d beg for one if you didn’t want to feel any lower than you already did. 
“Perfect. This bed isn’t made for three, so let’s eject that little nag, dear.” His hands slipped down your legs, “I want to replace your thoughts with better ones.” He pulled you to him, your back pressed into his broad chest. The way his soft hands smoothed over your silk slip felt like foreplay, so smooth and slick. Frictionless and gentle. Those same hands ran down and between your legs, following the line of your thighs until they found your center. “It seems you forgot something else.” Two fingers caressed your lower lips, barely parting them, “Not that I’m complaining…,” his lips found the back of your neck as his fingers rubbed gently at your core. 
It took so very little to get your body on board, wet and relaxed for his practiced hand. Your own fingers coming down to rub at your clit quickly when you felt your pleasure winding up. 
He sighed directly into the shell of your ear, hands working in tandem with yours under the covers. His back pressed against you, hips rolling into your backside in time with his fingers. 
“What are you thinking about?” Barely above a whisper as he said it into your heated skin.
“Fingers.”
“Whose?” His voice was deeper than his usual speaking tone. A tenor that made you clench around him.
“Yours.”
You’d never been so satisfied with hands before. With breath. With the sounds of a man. Never saw stars while clothed and not under the lights of the stage. Warm and wet kisses to your neck as you came down from your high, you’d never considered sex could be more than a man fucking someone. Nor that a man could find pleasure so readily with his cock still in his pants. But the way he hummed and growled softly into your skin was proof of his good time. 
You’d learned a lot from those progressively chillier nights at Alastor’s over the first week of your constant cohabitation. How much you liked waking up with someone just a reach away. How Alastor woke slowly, incapable of coherent speech for at least the first twenty minutes of his day. He’d stare and smile as his eyes blinked out of sync, rolling back occasionally as he fought the urge to fall back into sleep. Hair disheveled and soft.
When the weekend came, Alastor offered again to take you out. A promise to take you somewhere no detectives would be hiding about. A week without a peep, you were sure he had followed up with your mother and was probably steaming to get at you. But, for some reason or another, he hadn’t appeared again in the crowd of your shows. 
A week of going into work unmade and unkempt, you finally gave in and asked to be taken to your apartment early Friday. You’d grab a few items you needed, take them to work, and be back home that night. 
Your eyes were on Alastor when his car pulled up to your building. When he kissed you, your hand scratched at the shorter hairs at the nape of his neck. Eyes closed, you could smell him and feel him so much clearer. Perhaps when you were old together you wouldn’t have to worry about your sight giving out, you thought. Because you’d always know it was him by the way his skin on yours lit you up. 
“Pack something you’d like to wear out tomorrow night.” He reminded you before you pulled yourself from the car and waved him off. You lingered for a moment as he drove away, wondering if maybe the storm had been pushed off course.
“Oooh, who is he?”
Whipping around, you saw a familiar face sitting on the stoop of your building. An unwelcome one, though. 
“What the fuck are you doing here, Mavis?” Your bag fell from your hands as the strength drained from your limbs.
She patted the dust off her dress before bouncing down the steps.  “The names Ephi now.” A half sister, though perhaps a quarter sister would be best to describe the often absentminded, when not literally absent, sibling. 
“That’s not a name that’s a fucking letter of the alphabet. Mama would smack the color of your cheeks if she heard you.” You were sure you’d not see her ever again, not after she ran off to head north before your mother passed. She scowled, arms crossed as you brushed past her. “I don’t have any money so you wasted a trip. See ya in another decade.”
Ephi grinned up at you as you climbed the stairs, “Looked like he had some money. Mr. Big Shot and his shiny bus.”
“Lotsa people have cars.” Your eyes landed on the suitcase poorly hidden behind the steps. Hand halting its search for the building key as you could feel the stare of your mother looking…down? A weight slipping over your shoulders like a man’s heavy winter coat.
“Well I don’t need money or cars. I need a place to crash.”
Your head fell. You could feel it coming. The gust of wind dragging the clouds slowly towards you. No, the storm wasn’t off course. It was just building momentum.
˖ ݁𖥔.Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult.𖥔 ݁ ˖
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samandcolbyownme · 3 months
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another one of my fav things u write is when the chat goes crazy so I was wondering if u could do one where y/n and Sam haven’t done a video in a while and the fans create rumors saying that they aren’t friends anymore but they’re secretly saying and Sam surprises the viewers on his live with reader and the chat goes crazy I love when u include that k byeee
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I Found Her | Sam Golbach
Warnings: fluff, swearing, slight sexual innuendos, secret relationship (kept from fanbase), rumors about reader
I’m classifying this as a snippet for now.
“Sam.”
“Yeah, baby?” He looks up from his laptop as you walk down the steps, “Did you know that we aren’t friends anymore?”
“I mean..” he turns to look back at you, “Yeah, I kind of did know that.” He chuckles and you walk around to sit on the couch next to him, “Well yeah, but I mean.. here.”
You rest your head on his shoulder and he gives the top a kiss as you smile, “Here.” You hand him your phone, “There’s a thread on this one.”
You reach over, tapping the comment to drop more down, “Then I’ll show you the other comment section on TikTok.”
User1: Has she posted anywhere recently?
User2: right! It’s been almost three months
User3: Has Sam posted anything with her? Commented on anything?
User4: maybe she moved back home? Her and Sam might have split?
User5: @/user4: her and Sam were NEVER together! She’s an old friend from their childhood! Stop spreading false information!
User6: Literally stop. I’m sure y/n is fine!
He nods as he reads down over them, “They have no idea.” He looks over at you, “Is it because you M.I.A on them?”
“Probably. I just deleted the apps off my phone once we started getting, closer, you know.. I wanted to put my all into this, so I figured a social media break would be good.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. You know that right? You do what you need to do in order to make yourself happy.” Sam leans in, pressing a kiss to your cheek, “Because they clearly have no idea what they’re talking about.”
You press a kiss to his lips, “As long as I have you, I should be set on happiness.” You smile and he kisses you again, “Maybe we should just come clean.”
“You want to tell them?” You ask as you raise your brows.
“Only if you want to.” Sam whispers, tucking hair behind your ear as you nod, “I need to start posting again anyway.” You let out a sigh, “Okay. How do you want to do it?”
Sam smirks, “I have an idea.”
“Oh no.” You laugh, “Should I be scared?”
He shakes his head, “Just go up and hang out in my room. I’m going to go live. Is Colby awake?” You stand up and shrug, “Not sure, I did hear anything before I came down.”
He nods and stands up, “Okay.” His hands slide up your arms, “Are you sure about this? If you’re not co-“
“I want to be able to kiss you in public and hold your hand. I’m sure about this, baby.” You look up at him and he smiles, “Okay. Now go.”
You nod and walk over to the steps, looking back to see he’s staring at you shaking his head.
“What?” You stop, tuning towards him as you laugh slightly and he shakes his head, “I just.. cannot believe you are mine.”
You smile harder, feeling your cheeks heat up as you finish your way up the steps. You go into the room you share with Sam, sitting on the bed as you wait for whatever’s about to happen, to happen.
A few minutes later, you see a notification on your phone.
[y/n.y/l/n]: samgolbach started a live video. Watch it before it ends!
“Oh my god.” You look at the door, then back to your phone, then one more back and fourth before you get up and walk out of the room.
You sit down on the floor, listening as you hear Sam start, “What’s up everybody? Hello hello.” He pauses, “Just going to wait for a couple more people to drop in before we get started.”
You knew the comments were insane. Sam hasn’t done a solo live in so long.
“Fuck it.” You get up, walking back in and you click on the notification, popping in while Sam is mid sentence, “.. on here and give you guys a little update about Colby and I’s travels lately.”
He smiles when he sees your name pop up, but he tries to not make it a big deal, “So we flew in from Italy, I think it was two days ago now? But that was amazing. That video will be out soon.”
While Sam is talking, you can’t help but stay focused on the comments, scrolling at you read. At first it was comments about Sam and Colby and their videos and stuff, but as soon as you joined, the focus was practically almost turned, which is what Sam wanted.
InstaUser1: WAIT WAIT Y/N DID I SEE THAT CORRECTLY!?
InstaUser2: Can’t wait for the video Sam!!
InstaUser3: @/InstaUser1 I SAW IT TOO!
InstaUser4: wait wait wait y/n is here?
InstaUser5: Sam! Please just tell us if y/n is okay!
“Y/n is okay. We’re still on good terms, I promise.” He glances at the camera, “Yeah, I see everything.” He laughs, shaking his head, “No she’s doing good.”
You laugh slightly, glancing back down to the comments.
InstaUser6: NO what do you MEAN you see everything Samuel?
InstaUser7: PLEASE GOD NO Sam don’t lurk you’ll regret it, just ask Matt Sturniolo
“Colby is sleeping still. I think he’s coming down with something, which means I’ll probably get it.”
“And I’ll end up getting it.” You mumble to yourself.
InstaUser8: Can you tell us where y/n is? Like did she go back home?
InstaUser9: Why did she ghost us? You’re a GHOST HUNTER, Sam! Please help us out!
“I need to go get Colby up anyway. We have a dinner tonight and I haaaate waking his ass up.”
Your heart starts racing as you see Sam walking in the live, “Oh fuck.” You shift around, leaning back against the headboard as you try to look relaxed and like you aren’t panicking on the inside.
You knew he had to get Colby up, but you knew he had unfinished business that he had to attend to first, “Here guys.” He flips the camera around and you watch the screen intently as he reaches for the knob, “Say hi to Colby.”
He pushes open the door and you’re suddenly watching yourself on your phone screen, “Just kidding. It’s y/n! I found her!”
You turn your head from your phone to look at Sam, “You found me!”
“Ghost Hunter Sam strikes again.” Sam says as he walks over to sit on the bed. You laugh, looking back down at the comments.
InstaUser1: I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT
InstaUser8: Oh my god this is so much better
InstaUser10: PLEASE WHAT IS HAPPENING
You lean over, resting your head on Sam’s shoulder, “I took some sudden time off because, well.. something sudden, but not so sudden happened and I just wanted to give it my all, you know?”
Your eyes scan down as the comments flood through on Sam’s screen.
InstaUser11: PLEASE BE TOGETHER.
InstaUser12: IM SOBBING WHAT
InstaUser13: MY TWO FAV PEOPLE WHAT IS GOING ON I-
You laugh, “I guess we should just-“ Sam cuts you off with a kiss and you lay your hand on his cheek, smiling as he pulls away.
“That’s my girlfriend.” Sam laughs as he rests his forehead against your temple, “Alright guys.” He turns his head, keeping it against yours, “I’ll see you all in the next one. I gotta go wake up Colby. Love you all. Catch ya later.”
You smile as Sam ends the live and then he suddenly turn, lunging to push you back onto the bed, “You can come to dinner with us tonight.”
“I sure can, boyfriend.” You scrunch your nose up as you smile and he leans in, “I love you, y/n.”
Your heart skips a beat and you bring your hand up to lay on his neck, “I love you, Sam.” He presses a few kisses to your face before attacking your lips.
He leans back with a sigh, “Wanna help me get Colby up?” You purse your lips together and shake your head, “I have to start getting ready.”
He rolls his eyes before smiling, “Fine, I’ll let it slide.” You go to get up but he stops you, “This time.” You laugh and shake your head, “Mhm. I’m sure I’ll hear that next time, too.”
“Yeah.” Sam nods, “You probably will.” His eyes scan over your body, “So which dress are you wearing?” You bite down on your lip as you glance over at him, “One that’s easy for you to take off of me once we’re back here.”
“Fuck, I love you.”
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——
Thank you so much for reading!! I love you all so much!
Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!
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mintsturniolo · 3 months
Text
oh baby... pt. 1 (m.s)
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bf!matt sturniolo x f!reader x bsf!nick sturniolo
a/n: okay so i'm getting bored of writing fluff. can someone give me some angst or smut ideas please 😭 anyways i'm actively working on requests. i also have never gone to an ultrasound so... yeah idk what happens or doesn't happen there.
summary: hailey finds out she's pregnant and is scared about how matt is going to react
Matt was worried about his girlfriend. She’d been acting different lately and no one could figure out why. While it was no surprise that Hailey had a sensitive stomach, the most random things had been making her sick recently. He was currently waiting for Hailey to come out of their room, which she’d been hiding in for the past thirty minutes now. Matt and Nick looked up as the bedroom door opened and Hailey emerged from the room. She looked stressed as she looked at the two of them. “Nick, can we talk?” she asked running her fingers through her hair.
Noticing the confused look on Matt’s face, Hailey went over and gently planted a kiss on his lips. Matt smiled and took her hand. “Are you okay? I’m worried.”
“I’m fine, Matty” Hailey replied as Matt kissed her back. “I’ll be back in a little bit.”
Hailey led Nick to the bathroom and turned when she saw him hesitate. “Nicky please. I need to show you something.”
Nick glanced down the hall before following Hailey into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and raised an eyebrow. “Well? What’s going on?”
Hailey took a breath as she motioned towards the sink. Nick looked over and his eyes widened when he saw an unopened box of pregnancy tests on the counter. “Oh my God,” he whispered. “What? Hailey!”
“I’m freaking out Nick. Matt and I agree we weren’t ready. I’m scared how he’s going to react,” Hailey panicked. “I just have a feeling I am. Everything’s been off and it explains all my symptoms.”
Nick took a deep breath, knowing that freaking out wasn’t going to help his friend. “Okay. Take one right now. I’ll be in the living room. Call me when you’re done.”
Hailey nodded, too nervous to reply. She watched as Nick left the room, closing the door behind him. Hand shaking, she opened the box and pulled out one of the tests. She followed the instructions on the box and set the timer. After the longest few minutes of her life, Hailey looked at the test. She immediately felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. It was positive. She didn’t realize how long she had been staring at it until Nick knocked on the door. “Hailey? Are you okay?”
“Come in here,” Hailey stuttered.
Nick walked into the bathroom and frowned when he saw the fear in Hailey’s eyes. “Girl-” he started.
“It’s positive,” Hailey interrupted. “I’m going to take another one to be sure, but this one’s positive.”
“Okay,” Nick said, his tone slightly excited, but mostly nervous.
“Can you get Matt please,” Hailey requested.
Nick left the room and a couple moments later, Matt walked into the bathroom. He wrapped his arms around Hailey’s waist and planted a kiss on her cheek. “Are you okay? What were you and Nick talking about?”
Hailey reached past Matt and picked up the pregnancy test. Matt’s eyes widened when he saw it. He examined the results before looking at Hailey for confirmation. “That means it’s positive?” he asked, excitement creeping into his voice.
Hailey nodded, searching her boyfriend’s eyes to see if he was mad. “I’m going to be a dad?” Matt asked, clearly still processing the information.
“I need to take a second test to be sure, but yeah,” Hailey replied as Matt hugged her tighter. “Are you mad? I know we weren’t planning this…”
“I’m not mad. Are you kidding? I just learned that I’m going to be a dad with one of the most amazing girls in my life. I’m shocked but so happy,” Matt said, leaning in for a kiss. “Who else knows?”
“Just Nick. I told him to keep it quiet til we were ready to say anything,” Hailey replied as tears started to run down her cheeks. “I’m so glad you’re not mad.”
Matt gently wiped the tears off Hailey's face as he looked into her eyes.
*8 weeks later*
Matt and Hailey were still in shock that they were going to have a baby. They had announced it to Chris who immediately started referring to himself as uncle Chris. All of the boys had been even more protective of Hailey if that were possible. Matt couldn’t believe that he was currently driving Hailey to her first ultrasound. He parked and they made their way into the building. Hailey’s name was called and she could feel the excitement building. She was about to see her baby for the first time. She let out an excited squeal and grinned up at Matt. “Are you ready?”
“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life,” Matt replied as he squeezed Hailey’s hand.
Hailey had never seen Matt so attentive. He was incredibly focused as the doctor explained everything that would occur at this appointment, never once letting go of Hailey’s hand. The lady finished setting up the equipment and began to apply the gel onto Hailey’s stomach. After a few moments the doctor smiled. “Okay If you look right here, that’s your baby.”
Hailey couldn’t stop looking at the screen in front of her. Their baby was so small. Tears filled her eyes as she turned to look at Matt. “Look Matty, that’s our baby.”
“I know,” Matt said, smiling more than Hailey had seen in a long time.
When the appointment was over, Matt led Hailey out the door. It was quiet as the two of them processed everything. The ride home was full of anticipation. Hailey was eager to show Nick and Chris the ultrasound photo they had. When they pulled into the driveway, Matt went to the other side of the car to let Hailey out. He leaned down and kissed her for what felt like the millionth time today. He gently placed a hand on Hailey’s stomach, just as the front door opened. “Well are you guys coming inside or not?” Chris asked eagerly.
Matt laughed as he let go of Hailey. “Yeah. We got something to show you.”
Taglist
@adirtylittleheart @sturniolo04 @yourenogoodforme
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