#rafe cameron x reader angst

[kitscutie]

Hi, I wanted you to make a fanfic about Rafe (obx) in which he dates a pogue, he is very ashamed of her for being poor, I wanted something with a lot of anguish and maybe a happy ending?

favourite crime (rafe cameron x fem!reader)

pairing: rafe cameron x fem!reader

warnings: starts with smut, middle is angst, happy ending!

summary: you and rafe are dating but keeping it secret so that his family doesn't stop him from seeing you since you're a pogue. at least that's what he told you.

a/n: requests are open!

word count: 2.7k

join my taglist here.

"Fuck baby." Rafe said as he sat below you shirtless, your hips grinding down into his rhythmically. The two of you had been together for four months now. Boyfriend and girlfriend.

You were no longer just his friendly hook up whenever Ward pissed him off or Barry wouldn't give him his fix of coke, you were his.

His hands gripped your waist tightly, knuckles turning white from pleasure even when you were both still clothed from the wait down, well you both had underwear on at least.

"Get these off." He grunted, lifting you up onto your knees as you straddled him to wean your underwear down lour legs and into his pocket. He had a collection at Tanny Hill now. Not for him but as a way of keeping some of you here which was useful since you spent ninety nine percent of your nights here.

"You eager or something?" You joked knowing you were in fact the desperate one. You had been working at the Country Club all day and you could only put up with so many stuck up bitches before a tether within you snapped.

"Mhm, believe whatever you want princess." He mumbled, occupied in pulling his own boxers off. "My desperate girl." He smirked as his hand caressed your face, your own body settling down onto his as your bare skin finally met.

"You gonna get to it, or keep me waiting?" You asked, leaning down to bit the very tip of his thumb in a way that always drove him slightly crazy.

With that he chuckled, eyes darkening as he flipped you over, him now on top of you. Two of his fingers circled you clit slowly, too slowly making you more desperate than you were to begin with.

"Rafe." You whined, hips bucking in an attempt to increase the speed of his digits.

"Patience, pretty girl. I always give you what you want, huh?" You nodded in response, eyes closing as you gripped his hair when he slipped them inside with ease. You were already dripping and needy for him, he knew that. He loved it.

"Mhm, I do. So you're gonna be good for me, alright?" He once again asked, knowing you couldn't respond even if you wanted do though he enjoyed watching you squirm. "Think you've earned this?" He questioned, hand leaving you to pump at himself much quicker than he had touched you.

Your hand reached to pull his own away and towards your face, growing impatient. "Please?" You asked, giving him the eyes you knew no man could resist.

"Okay, baby." He finally gave in, lining himself up at your truly dipping entrance. This was all you had wanted all day and it was finally coming true, no longer just a figment of your day dreams.

You sighed out in both relief and pleasure as he pushed his cock into you. He pinned your hands down above you head with his own, fingers interlocked. It was subtle reassurance that no matter how wrapped up in the moment you both were it was just the two of you together.

"Fuck." He moaned, hips pushing into yours like they did each time you fucked, skilfully and measured. If Rafe was good at one thing, it was sex.

You bit your lip to contain your moans, no one was home and they never were when you came over seeing as your relationship was completely secret until he overcame the fear of what Ward would say.

He despised Pogues, as did Rafe but you slowly came to learn it wasn't the general idea of Pogues it was specific ones like John B and his friends, mostly JJ.

Rafe didn't hate you, he couldn't even if he tried.

"Love having you under me like this, so needy." He teased watching as tears dripped from beneath your eyelashes the harder he fucked into you. "Look so beautiful, my girl."

"I love you so much." You finally spoke though it was whispered and strained. With that Rafe knew you were close and so his skilled fingers once again found your clit drawing tight hard circles into the skin.

"Love you too baby." He grunted as he reached his own climax alongside yours. He kept going, even as he grew tired letting you ride out your high that he knew you needed.

Once it was over and you winced with sensitivity he pulled out slowly, allowing your body to adjust to the empty feeling which made you whimper just as much as being overstimulated.

He flopped onto the bed beside you, pulling you close to your chest even though the two of you were damp with sweat, hair stuck to your skin.

"You're it for me, you know that right?" He said into the silence and darkness as he gently stroked your hair.

"And you me." You responded placing a feather light kiss to his chest, even though he would never ask, that reassurance was like a weight lifted off of his shoulders.

You were his, no matter what.

The next day you left him early with a kiss to his forehead and an 'I love you' whispered into the dark room.

You had to work and though you wished you could spend every second of everyday in that room with that boy you didn't have the money to do so, you never wanted Rafe to feel pressured to support you, especially not when you were still both so young.

You had currently been at the Country Club for almost six hours when a new table came in, one which you recognised all too soon. It was Rafe joined by Kelce and Topper. You weren't sure whether or not they knew about you but you felt safe to assume Rafe wouldn't mind you introducing yourself. They wouldn't tell Ward, not if he didn't want them to.

"Hi!" You smiled, walking over with a pep in your step, happy to see your boyfriend especially after expecting to be separated all day.

"Uh, hello." Chuckled Kelce, never having encountered such a happy and forward worker at the Club. Usually it was full of moody Pogues.

You saw the red growing in Rafe's cheeks and the way his eyes refused to meet your own and yet you assumed innocently that he was simply nervous.

"I'm Y/N, Rafe's-" You cut yourself off, expecting the previously mentioned to finish your sentence though he never did. Simply glaring at you as though you were scum.

"The fuck..." Topper muttered clearly surprised. He wasn't dumb, he knew how that sentence should have ended and he also noticed that Rafe never did finish it.

"You're fucking a Pogue man? She need the money or something?" Kelce added and you felt your heart drop, eyes immediately turning glassy with tears. You were a sensitive girl, you knew that but a comment so harsh was unnecessary and it stung twice as hard when Rafe remained silent.

"I-I'm sorry...what?" You stuttered, though the three stayed silent. "Rafe?" You turned to him hoping for comfort, reassurance, anger at Kelce literally anything but you received nothing, not even a look.

"I'm sorry, what's your name again?" He asked, voice strained with what you assumed to be guilt but it didn't matter what he felt because those very wards felt like a stab to the heart, made even worse as Kelce and Topper laughed, heads flying back.

They praised him and shook his hand, impressed by his ability to be so memorable to one of his 'hookups' yet not even knowing your name back. It must've been common for them.

"Okay then." You said, pulling your apron off as the tears flowed freely. "Fuck you." You spat at the sun-kissed blonde before you walked hastily out of the Country Club, you didn't care about your job in that moment, you only cared that the one person you had ever let hold y our heart had just squished it between his fingers with no regard for you at all.

Your mind flashed through every memory of you together, trying to rationalize why this could have happened, was it you, did you do something wrong, say something wrong?

No, you concluded, this wasn't you. Rafe Cameron could never love and you were foolish to think you would be the one to change him.

Lying in your bed, head buried in one of Rafe's sweatshirts had become your new norm, your knew comfort. You hadn't spoken to him since that day which was only around seventy six hours ago but you had never gone one day without him never mind three.

You heard his car park up outside though he never ventured inside, not until now. He had a spare key and so you expected it at some point though not so soon, you thought he didn't like you, didn't love you, that it was over.

His footsteps echoed throughout the empty house, your parents at work. They matched the rhythm of your heavy heart, it felt hollow now without him there to fill it up, this was your life now, how would you cope?

The door to your room opened slowly, almost hesitantly.

"Hi baby." He whispered as he sat down beside your head, hand reaching out to stroke your head and you knew you shouldn't but you leant into his warm touch, desperate for anything.

"I uh- I'm sorry for the other day, I'm such a dick and I just panicked 'cause I didn't know how the guys would react-" He spoke but you cut him off.

"To you dating a filthy, good for nothing, gold digging Pogue right?" You said coldly and he noted that your voice lacked its usual emotion.

"That's not true," He tried but once again, you wouldn't let him lie.

"No. It is Rafe. It is true and you know it." With that you sat up to face him. Your eyes were red and puffy, your face pale and the mascara from that very day was still streaked all over your cheeks. "I know it." Your voice faltered as the tears began to flow again.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, truly I'm sorry. I know it's not okay, I know I'm stupid and that I hurt you and all I want to do is make you feel better again. I- I um, told them about you, everything from start to end. My family too. Realised I can't hide the biggest thing in my life from them. The best thing in my life." He added and you perked up at this, now intregued.

"What'd they say?" You spoke, voice still quiet from the sadness instilled within you.

"Well, Top and Kelce are sorry though I know that doesn't mean much right now. My family took it better than I thought they would, they want to meet you." He said and it was clear he was filled with relief by their responses.

"And what about you? Do you want me to be with you? To meet them? For everyone to know your with me?" You asked insecurely, hands twisting in the blanket that was over you out of anxiety.

"Fuck." He sighed, ashamed of himself, of the way he had made you feel. He pulled your head gently into his chest, choking up at the tears you released.

"I thought that was it. That we were done and that you had fucked me over yet all I could think about was you. That I loved you and had I hurt you in a way that made you do this. I just wanted you there for me, holding me." You whimpered, the hurt in your chest making it's way up your throat making you sound small and weak.

"Never baby, I meant what I said. You're my forever, my everything I wanna marry you with some big stupid fuckin' ring one day, I just- I was scared of my dad of what he might do it's not you it never was. I love you with everything within me, you're my girl 'till the day I drop dead." He said and you almost felt full again, the words that had once fuelled your nightmares being replaced by his sweet ones, stitching your broken spirit back up.

"You promise?" You asked leaning up to place a kiss on his lips.

"Promise." He replied leaning his forehead against your own.

Rafe Cameron never broke promises, especially not when it came to you.

[miley1442111]

photobooth- r.cameron

a/n: this is super duper short so sorry about that :) i imagined a femreader for this but you can imagine what you like :)

summary: you finally convinced him to go to a photobooth with you.

pairing: rafecameron x reader

warnings: none.

You had finally convinced him. He finally agreed to go to a photobooth. You had taken the ferry to the mainland, he brought you for lunch, you’d bought him a new nice ring (much to his irritation), and he’d asked what he could do for you. So here you were, outside a photo booth. You stepped in, him coming after you. You sat and he tried to sit, but couldn’t. There wasn’t enough room in the booth.

“Baby, stand up,” he smirked. You did as he asked and he sat down, pulling you down on his lap. You yelped as his hands held your waist firmly against his torso and a satisfied smirk landed on his face as the photos started snapping. One of you and him smiling, one with his lips in your neck and a grin on your face, one with his lips on yours- his hand holding you against him, and another, one with your lipstick in kiss shapes all over his face, a boyish grin in his face and a smirk on yours. 

He photocopied those photos, one in his wallet, one in his bedside locker, and the original one framed on his desk. 

Everytime he looked at them he smiled. 

He smiled at you. 

[heaven4lostgirls]

Best Friend (R.C)

pairing: rafe cameron x reader, possibly jj maybank x reader

warning: hurt/comfort i believe? i'm not sure. rafe's an ass but also psycho but what else is new. JJ is a cutie and we love him. mentions of unrequited feelings and jealousy.

summary: being rafe's best friend used to be one of the best things in life, until it wasnt. now its time for you to make your own choices and rafe isnt too happy about that.

word count: 2.3k

a/n: as i said, my motivation is back so say hello to a new story!, not sure if i'll continue this but if you want another part, i'll be open to trying to write another piece.

Rafe and you had been friends since before you could even know what the word meant. Y/N and Rafe, Rafe, and Y/N, never one without the other, a package deal since the day you could remember. It was beautiful, truly. Having someone you could trust unconditionally; sure, you had your family and other close friends but none of them ever knew you as well as Rafe did. His ability to see not just you, but your soul was something you couldn’t imagine finding with someone else.

Which is why for the last 5 years, you’ve spent quietly trying to kill the crush you’d developed on your best friend. Every piece of attention he had ever given you, every small touch and sweet gesture just nurtured your heart faster than any of his sexual conquests and questionable habits could ever break it. You followed his figure through the party he had thrown at house, the smell of drugs, alcohol and sweaty bodies all mushed together to create the distinct atmosphere of a typical Rafe Cameron rager.

He was known for these parties; you both were actually. You and Rafe were unanimously dubbed the prince and princess of the OBX. You were once fond of that title but as time passed and you watched from the sidelines as a new girl sat of Rafe’s lap as you were left behind to do your own thing, it became a harder pill to swallow. Currently, he had his arm wrapped around a beautiful brunette who looked nothing like you, which seemed to be a recurring theme.

You watched as he sat down on one of the couches on the balcony near his friends and pulled the girl into his lap, your eyes stung but you knew better than to let your emotions get the better of you. Now was not the time to lose your cool, someone could see, and the news would spread fast to Rafe and with his inebriated state from who knows what, you weren’t willing to take the chances he was going to act in a sane way.

So, you blinked harshly, refilled your cup with your drink of choice and went back to the party, aiming to ignore Rafe and his company for the most part until  he eventually got bored and came looking for you. Fortunately for you, you spot Kiara and the rest of the Pogue’s outside near the fire pit. It’s usually very rare to see any of them  at one of these parties, more so because of Sarah’s strained relationship with her brother.

It’s comforting to meet their warm and happy gazes, you haven’t been able to spend much time with them because Rafe had monopolised most of it, he also didn’t particularly enjoy you choosing to spend your time with someone else other than him. Fortunately for you, parties like these lets you branch out and speak to new people without having to worry about Rafe breathing down your neck.

“Hey Y/N!” John B calls out and the rest of the group turns with excited and warm looks on their faces, the calm that washes over your body is immediate and you walk over to them to say hi. “Hey” you mutter shy as the girls get up to hug you as you sit in-between JJ and Sarah. “Haven’t seen you much around the island recently, you doing, okay?” Kiara asks curiously and you chew on your lip as you wonder what to tell her.

“No yeah I’m good, it’s just…Rafe you know?” you say, somewhat embarrassed that you don’t have a better excuse for the group. As you look down to your lap, you miss the look of sympathy that Kiara and Sarah share, they know just how bad it is to be caught  up with Rafe. “Hey, are you busy tomorrow?” Sarah pipes in and you look at her in surprise, this is the first time someone’s ever invited you to hang out.

“No?” you say confused and Sarah looks at the group before breaking out in a big smile before mentioning, “We’re all going to the beach tomorrow, it’s supposed to be a really good surf day” she says as she looks at you expectantly. “We’d love if you could join us” Kiara adds and the smile that lights up is almost blinding. “That sounds great! I’m not too good at surfing but I’d still like to come if you’ll have me” you say a little embarrassed and the rest of the group just voices their agreement before Pope breaks the chatter.

“John B’s teaching Sarah tomorrow how to get the bigger waves and I’ll be helping Kie fish, but JJ’s free if you want some help” he offers and the man in question looks surprised at the suggestion. You’re shocked but you look at JJ with a small smile and shrug of your shoulders. “Yeah, no worries, I don’t know how good of a teacher I’ll be, but I can try” he says, and you nod excitedly.

The night moves on swiftly with friendly chatter between 6 of you. You  surprisingly don’t feel excluded when they start sharing all their memories together, you’re happy to sit back and listen and before you know it, the party starts dying down and people start either dozing off right where they are or leaving to get home. You try to find Rafe but one sympathetic look from Topper lets you know that he’s in his room…not alone.

With no ride home and Topper wasted, you have no way home. You’re about to start walking but you see the lights of a run-down van come to a stop across the street before the door opens and JJ’s voice carries through the night. “C’mon! John B’s our DD tonight, you can get a lift bunk with us for the night.” He offers and you gladly accept, you all make your way back to the chalet and as everyone gets to their designated sleeping areas, there’s no space for you on any of the couches.

Pope offers you his space so he can sleep on the floor, but you decline, letting him know its okay. You settle in on the cold floor and try to readjust to get a comfortable spot before you feel someone shaking your arm. You  open your eyes and blink slightly to see JJ’s ruffled hair and outstretched hand, you look at him confusedly but nonetheless comply. He pulls you up and navigates the chalet like second nature, “You can sleep in my bed, I’ll take the floor.” He whispers and you shake your head vehemently.

“No, I’m not taking your bed, you sleep there. I was fine on the floor” you argue, and he rolls his eyes as he pulls you into the room. “I could hear your shuffling through the door, just sleep in the bed y/n.” he says amused, your lips twitch into a smile as you look at him in the eyes. “No.” you say, and his eyes roll again as he huffs and moves to the bed to lie down on one side.

Before you can leave you see him pat the space next to him. “You coming or what?” he mumbles sleepily. You hesitate for a second before you realise that it’s better than sleeping on the floor. You get in on the other side of the bed and place the blanket over the bottom half of your body. As you doze off, you’re mildly aware of someone pulling you closer to their chest and soft breathing against your neck.

You wake up to your phone buzzing, as you pick it up you notice almost a dozen missed calls from Rafe and over fifty texts ranging from asking where you are to confusion that you’re not at his place or your own, to anger that you’re not answering him. Your heads still pounding from the alcohol last night so all you do is send him and your parents a text saying your safe and you’re spending the day with some friends at the beach.

JJ groans from behind you and you’re suddenly aware of his arm wrapped around your waist and his legs tangled with yours. “Why’re you up so early” he mumbles into your neck, and you can’t help but laugh softly. “Sorry, my phone woke me up” you mumble sheepishly. “Then put it off and let’s go back to sleep” he groans as he tightens his arms around you which makes your face heat.

 Just as you turn your phone off and place it on the side table, the door opens and John B’s voice floats through the room. “JJ, get up we’re leaving in 10-” he stops midway through as he catches you and JJ together, you go to tell him what happened, but he just shakes his head and smiles. “I’ll see you both up and ready in 10 minutes, Y/N, Sarah left you a spare bikini in  the bathroom if you need it.” He says cheerfully as he closes the door before you can finish saying thanks.

JJ groans and throws his arm over his eyes before he smirks and lets out a huff of laughter which sends you both into fits of laughter. After you all get ready and are on your way to the beach, you and JJ spend your time talking and catching up with one another, being around the same age you both knew of each other but had never been particularly close. You come to loathe that as you find out just how funny and caring JJ is as a person.

When you reach the beach, you see that JJ had packed a spare board for you. Your heart warms at the gesture as he carries both to the water. The waves aren’t particularly high right now so as you both paddle in, you’re comfortable enough to ride a few of the smaller ones. As they get higher, you let JJ catch a few before he comes back to help you. You spend around an hour letting JJ manoeuvre you to get a good position on the board and working on your technique. It takes a couple tries of you falling off the board and trusting JJ to catch you before you’re even comfortable with trying one of the waves.

Unbeknownst to you, Rafe had been stressing the fuck out after waking up without you this morning. He had spent the better part of an hour trying to find you, you weren’t at his, nor at your parents. He’d only gotten it out of topper that he saw you leaving in a car after the party ended so safe to assume he was losing his shit. Where the fuck had you possibly have gone? Who could you have gone with? You didn’t have any friends other than him, and he knows that none of the guys at the party would have tried to sleep with you when  they knew you inadvertently belonged to him.

Mind you, when you finally bothered to answer his dozen calls and texts, all you had sent was “I’m okay don’t worry, I’m spending the day at the beach with some friends, I’ll see you tomorrow!” like hell you would. Who did you think he was? He was not going to let you just flounce around anywhere when there were people that could hurt you. Also, these “friends” you spoke about just about made him angry enough to fuel the urge to kill someone. Who could you possibly be talking about? All the people you two spent your time with were either at home still or at his place which he knew could only mean you were at the beach with those dirty fucking pogues.

You were gonna do Rafe’s head in, running off from him and the party to hang out with them? He scoffed at the thought. They didn’t know you like he knew you. They wouldn’t treat you as well as he did. Thinking about that dick John B that had roped his stupid fucking sister into their plans made his blood boil at the thought that they could be doing the same to you. The thought only made him speed faster to the beach.

Once he got there, oh was his blood definitely boiling. Fucking JJ. With his scummy little hands all over your body, in one of the tiniest swimsuits he’d ever seen you in. God, you looked beautiful. It was hard to dwell on that fact when all he could see was you laughing and splashing around with JJ whilst he stood on the beach glaring daggers at the blonde boy’s figure.

“Y/N!” he bellowed across the beach, and he gloated in the horror that washed over your face as you turned to look at the beach with JJ’s stupid fucking arms still wrapped around your waist. You try to smile and wave at him, but his anger must show on his face as you drop your hand and look  at him in confusion. “Come here!” he yells again and watches as you turn to JJ to ask a question, the blonde idiot in question just shrugs and smiles up at you.

He watches as you take a deep breath before you turn to him and shake your head whilst yelling a “NO” across the beach. His jaw clenches at your statement as he continues glaring. “I’m not playing around Y/N. COME. HERE.” He yells again and watches as JJ tells you something softly that you laugh at before you turn to him deviously before yelling out, “Fuck off Rafe” with a big smile on your face.

He inhales sharply as his gaze hardens on the both of you. Fine. You wanna be like that? Okay. He’s not letting you get off that easy. He smirks at the thought as he stalks off to his car to drive off. He’ll wait you out if he has to, and when you do come out. You’lll regret ever using that tone with him.

[voidpetrova]

you can pretend — rafe cameron x reader

☄. *. ⋆ content warning(s) & genre: swearing, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, substance abuse in general, self-sabotage — angst

˚♡ ｡˚ synopsis: he had nobody to blame but himself, he was his own enemy

✧.*

you can pretend you're getting better, like it's all going away. you can pretend, but the echoes of betrayal linger in the spaces between memories. the shattered fragments of trust lay scattered, a painful mosaic of what was once love. you can pretend you've found a way out, even though you're just going in circles. you can pretend you're not in love, even though it's all you have left.

rafe knew where it all started, he knew the problems he faced wouldn't have existed in the first place if it weren't for him. he was his own worst enemy. giving credit where its due, the road wasn't always rocky. much like any other relationship, the honeymoon phase was short-lived—it was meant to set the tone of your entire relationship. from the parties to the picnics, to meeting your parents, to meeting his friends. the joy was endless, but nothing lasts forever.

the first nine months flew by quickly, which is precisely why what followed hit you like a ton of bricks. it all started with petty arguments—typical stuff—“why aren't the dishes done?” and “you're using again, aren't you?”. these were daily topics, occurences that happened nearly every day—if you went a day without fighting, you'd truly be thanking god. those petty quarrels were kicked up a notch after a few weeks, jealousy issues and making scenes in public. the more rafe used, the harder it was on you, but finally, there was a reckoning.

three months later, and he had finally stopped using. it shocked him more than it had shocked you, but it was done, cold turkey. he spent the next two months sober, and things were finally taking a turn for the best. you were happy, you were both content, as if the honeymoon phase was ready to make a reappearance. all of that went to waste the minute you found out rafe had been cheating those two months.

it wasn't something you had expected, not even from someone like him. you had given him your all—you took care of him, drove him home when he was too wasted to do it himself, bathed him when he was too strung out, cooked for him, stayed loyal to him—things most men dream about. the day you found out, it killed something inside you. you were in physical pain, unable to breathe, you could barely get yourself together.

you left him the next day, quicker than anticipated. the day you confronted him, he had greened out thirty minutes prior. he hadn't registered a single thing you said, despite the screaming and sobbing, not a single word was processed. after that, you made sure you were unreachable. even when topper had filled in the blanks for him, it was too late. no matter the method, he had no way of accessing you. that's when his life truly began to fall apart.

“i feel disgusting,” were the words you had uttered to kiara and sarah. sitting in front of the mirror on your wall, you brushed your hair out, untying the knots and tight ends. despite being his sister, sarah was one of your biggest supporters. she felt for you, and did everything in her power to make you feel better. she exchanged a disappointed glance with kiara as they made her way up to you.

there was truly no way to describe your beauty, something that couldn't be put into words. it was one of the many reasons nobody believed rafe had it in him to cheat, it took a lot of convincing. “you have never been disgusting,” kiara assured, brushing loose strands of your hair down past your shoulder. “you can't let this ruin you, not this. not him.”

sarah couldn't help but nod in agreement, meeting your eyes in the mirror. “besides,” she rested her chin on your shoulder, offering a sweet smile. “now you've got the best excuse to come to the party tonight, don't you?” you returned the smile, you had to. they were your dear friends, and you knew all they wanted was the best for you. though hesitant, you nodded in agreement.

rafe had no interest in hosting any parties with his friends. in fact, rafe had no interest in anything anymore. he laid, spread out on his couch, another can of beer in one hand, a blunt in the other. topper and kelce had been concerned since the day the break-up took place. they had resorted to persuading both parties, in fact, with no positive results.

“you gotta stop that man, it's enough,” kelce commented, his tone genuine. rafe's eyes were bloodshot as he shot him a glance. he couldn't sleep, his mind wouldn't let him. the guilt would eat him alive, unless he had something in his system. the lack of your presence was replaced by each line he snorted, each pill he took, each whore he paid for a good time. but the feeling would always come back. he sneered at his friend, “i'll decide when it's enough.”

the kook party started off as a lavish affair held in their beachfront mansion. the atmosphere was opulent, with elegant decorations and dimmed lights creating a sophisticated ambiance. guests were dressed in upscale attire, sipping on exotic cocktails while a live band played smooth tunes. the air was filled with laughter and the occasional clinking of glasses as attendees enjoyed the extravagant setting overlooking the ocean. it exuded an air of exclusivity, with a mix of socialites and high-society figures mingling in an upscale celebration.

“party's a shitshow,” rafe snapped, teeth grinding as he held onto the bathroom's sink with both hands, knuckles whitening. he only glanced in the mirror for a split second, no longer. he had reached his breaking point, unable to stand the sight of himself in the mirror. one hand was lifted, giving him less leverage, but just enough for him to swipe his credit card from his pocket, arranging lines amongst the white powder on the sink's edge. the first line went by in a flash, his nostrils searing with an amazing pain. the second went by just as fast, along with the third.

he blew the excess powder off the sink, watching it blend in with the atmosphere. knowing he would need time for the effects to kick in—for his head to spin fast enough to rid him of his focus, all the problems he had been facing. his main one, the one he had been struggling with for as long as he could remember. he couldn't face you, he couldn't stand the sight of you. it made his stomach churn and his blood boil, knowing he was his own worst enemy.

as he left the bathroom, he could feel his heart pounding in his ears. he ignored the crowd that surrounded him, the hands reaching out to greet him, the voices calling out to him, asking if he was alright. he could feel his chest rising heavily, eyebrows furrowed as if trying to block the upcoming headache. he moved past everybody as fast as he could, desperate for fresh air. if he had known what awaited him outside, he would've asked god to take him right then and there.

you were wrapped in a mesmerizing blend of gold and baby pink, adorned with delicate lace that mimiced the intricate patterns of ocean waves. the short length accentuated your legs, and the subtle shimmer added a touch of ethereal beauty. you wore it with confidence, your radiance enhancing the dress's allure, creating a stunning ensemble that captured everyone's attention. you were radiant, pushing your hair down your shoulder as you chatted with jj and pope, allowing them to relax you as much as they could. they knew how nervous you were.

everybody did. rafe could see it, too. he stood there, yards away, frozen in his tracks. for the first time in a long time, he didn't feel anger. it was a feeling that couldn't be described—a painful melancholy that would drive him to tears instead of the nearest bottle of expensive liquor. he couldn't move, no matter how much he wanted to. he stayed there, eyes glued to you, watching every move you made.

you were all he had, all he would ever have. even when he knew he didn't have you.

[milo-manheim-luver]

The Night We Met Pt. 2 - Dad!Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader

Summary: when rafe finds out that his and Y/N son is slowly going down the same path he did, he decides to open up to their son about his past.

Warning: lots of angst (sorry), heavy drug use, drug overdose talk, alcohol consumption, physical violence, dark themes basically. (so sorry). lmk if i forgot any!! PLEASE DONT READ IF ANY OF THESE WARNINGS TRIGGER YOU!!!

A/N: i did a poll to see which fic you all wanted and this was the winner. i can’t remember how this idea popped in my head but it did. i really hope you all enjoy this one!! FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS WELCOMED! PLEASE BE KIND<33 ps remember to share and like!

W/C: 3.6k+ (holy fuck)

it had been seventeen years since Y/N and rafe had gotten married. the two of them had a son together, archie, who had just turned sixteen years-old. archie had definitely taken after his father looks. he was tall, with dirty blonde hair, and striking blue eyes that would catch anyone’s attention. he had also taken after his fathers athletic abilities, as he was the star quarterback for the kook academy on kildare island. but, unfortunately the worst way he took after his father, was the intense drug use that was slowly starting to make him an addict; just like his father, rafe cameron, was a mere twenty-one years-ago.

as archie had left for school one friday morning on figure eight, Y/N had entered his room to grab his dirty clothes to wash. as she’d grabbed some of his clothes, a small plastic bag had fallen from one of his khaki pants pockets, and onto the wooden floor of his bedroom next to Y/N feet. bending down, Y/N picked the small packet up to investigate it a little more, until realization hit, as tears began to brim her eyes. it was a packet of cocaine. the only thing she felt like she needed to do in that moment was call her husband who’d been in his office downtown at the cameron development. so she did. she immediately pulled out her phone and pressed rafes contact name, waiting for him to pick up as it rang through her ear.

“baby, what’s up? everything okay? you never call while i’m at work” rafe asked Y/N warily as he sat his falcon pen back down on his oak desk, ignoring the documents that needed his signature.

“i-i think y-you n-need t-t-to come home now” Y/N managed to stutter out, laundry basket long forgotten as she’d made her way to rafes home office, where there was the most privacy.

“what? why? baby, tell me what’s wrong” he insisted.

Y/N swallowed sharply before she began to stutter, and beat around the bush, not wanting to trigger him, “i-i found something i-in archie’s bed-bedroom, but i-i want to wa-warn you, i do-don’t want you tr-triggered hunny”

and in that instant, as soon as she said the world ‘trigger’, he knew she’d found not only drugs, but his old drug of choice; cocaine, in their sons bedroom. he let out a shaky breath of air, as he brought his left hand up to run through his shaggy curtain bangs he’d been growing out from his old buzzcut. “i’ll be home in ten, please don’t worry about me and my trigger, i’ll be fine hunny” he reassured his wife of seventeen-years. and with that he hung up immediately, leaving his office and telling his assistant it was family matters.

as soon as rafe put his porsche in park in the driveway, he ran into his and Y/N house which was located on figure eight, calling out Y/N name, “Y/N WHERE ARE YOU BABY? Y/N???!”

“keep it down rafael, i’m in your office you dumbass” she hushed her husband as she walked out of the french doors that lead to the said room. she grabbed his wrist and yanked him into his office, before she started to cry all over again.

rafe quickly wrapped Y/N into his arms, sending her hushed murmurs of comfort and love, easing her to calm down. she was so heartbroken her little boy was going down the same awful path his father once did. it was hard enough for her to have found rafe almost dead after his overdose twenty-one years ago. she had to go to a couple of years of therapy to recover from that incident. she couldn’t even bare the thought about losing her only child to the same demons that almost took rafe out years before. she clutched onto rafe’s forearm as he held her tight into his arms, trying to steady her shaky frame. he swiftly moved the two of them to his office chair located behind his desk, sitting down and bringing her into his lap where he continued to cradle her fragile head. he pecked her head repeatedly before speaking softly, “hey. hey, Y/N look at me hunny” as he held her cheeks to make her look at him. and in that moment his heart shattered. seeing the love of his life hurt tremendously broke him to his core. swiping some of her tears away with the pads of his thumbs he began to speak again, “we will figure this out love. we will get him the help he needs. i’ll do right by him since my father never could for me. he will be okay. i promise. even if i have to tell him about my addiction. got it sweetheart?” and with that, Y/N bit her bottom lip, and nodded her head to rafe’s reassurance.

“good, now, where is it? i promise i will be fine, you don’t have to worry about me. okay?” rafe asked Y/N as he lightly brushed her curtain bangs back behind her ear with the back of his hand, bringing his lips to hers for a delicate but loving kiss. she placed one of her shaky hands to his scruff covered cheeks, stroking his cheekbone softly, “promise you’ll be fine?”

“promise” he cooed as he grabbed her hand that had been stroking his cheekbone and placed a chaste kiss to the palm of it. she then used her other hand to grab the bag of white powder from her sweatshirt pocket, dropping it in rafe’s large, veiny hand.

“how are we going to approach him about it? you are the expert on this kinda stuff aren’t you?” Y/N attempted to tease rafe to lighten the mood. she’d always had a dark sense of humor, just like rafe.

smirking rafe responded,” hahaha very funny. i mean i am i guess? i know how not to approach him if that helps.”

“how so?”

“as long as we don’t do what ward would do, i think we will be fine baby” rafe sighed out at the mention of his fathers name. a cold-hearted man is what he was. was no father to rafe…. ever. hell, he didn’t even acknowledge him as his father these days, only called the man by his name.

“i guess you’re right” Y/N sighed as she stood back up, preparing herself for what was to come in the next few hours.

“we got this baby, we got this. yeah?” rafe once again tried to reassure the woman of his dreams as she nodded her head in response.

——————-

rafe and Y/N had taken a seat on the living room couch as they waited for their beloved son archie to arrive home from school. he’d football practice, but had received a text from rafe demanding him to come home and skip the practice, adding in that he had already talked to archie’s coach, excusing his absence. archie, being just like his father was, obligated to make his father happy, came home in a hurry.

when the front door opened frantically, followed by hurried steps and commotion, Y/N scooted closer to rafe for comfort. she didn’t know what was going to happen or how it would go down. rafe placed his large, veiny hand on her thigh, giving it a light squeeze for reassurance that everything would be okay in the end.

“we’re in here archie!” rafe had hollered from the living room couch as he and Y/N both waited anxiously for archie to arrive.

“h-hey, what’s up? what was so important that i had to miss practice?” archie questioned as rafe motioned for him to take a seat on the couch opposite of the one Y/N and him were seated on.

“umm archie, your mom went to your room this morning to do your laundry and found something a little concerning. i wanna state that we aren’t blaming you and we aren’t criticizing you whatsoever bud, we love you and want the best for you” rafe spoke warily to his and Y/N young son who sat opposite of them, with worried eyes. archie knew immediately what Y/N found when his father said laundry. he had forgotten to put his drug of choice in his secret spot in his dresser.

rafe continued before archie could even speak a word, “ archie, bud, i get it. i know the high is great and all. i know what you’re going through a-“ rafe had been cut off mid sentence by a triggered archie who had begun to yell at his father.

“really? how in the hell would you, of all people understand how good it makes me feel when i get a little bit of a kick?”

and with that outburst and those words coming from his precious archie, came rafe’s sadness and anxiousness. he had to tell him about his addiction and more specifically; he had to tell him about his overdose that dreadful night Y/N had found him in his bedroom. frustratedly, he pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling loudly as he tried to find the words to tell archie about his horrible past. he tried to sniffle back some tears, but gave up as he had remembered the only reason why he used to hold back his emotions; his father. so, he let a few tears fall down his stubbled cheeks as Y/N had an arm around his shoulders rubbing his back while the other rubbed his inner thigh to comfort him, all while whispering sweet nothings only rafe and her could hear.

“you got this” she whispered as he raised his head again to make eye contact with archie.

“archie…” he started as he composed himself for what he was about to say. “when i was your age, i used to go out and party a lot. when i first started doing cocaine i was only fifteen years-old. nobody knew in my family. hell, it’s not like anyone would have even cared if they had known anyways” rafe shook his head as he took a deep breath to continue.

“and by the time i was seventeen, all i did was party, drink, snort cocaine and get into a lot of physical altercations. i was heavily addicted to the drug. and some of those altercations i had were so bad that some people were even hospitalized. i was not a good person and i sure as hell was a danger to myself and those who were around me.” he swallowed the lump in the back of his throat as he was about to tell archie about a time when he had hurt topper so bad he had to go to the hospital for many reasons. he still couldn’t recall what had happened that night. and yet for some odd reason, topper was still his best friend to this day minus Y/N, she would be his bestest friend til death do them part.

“once, i got so high that when your uncle topper tried to get me to ease up on the lines and shots and get me to go home, i literally blacked out and beat the living shit out of him. he was hospitalized for two days. i broke two of his ribs, his nose, many lacerations from a beer bottle and a concussion. cocaine, let alone any drug for that matter, is not the answer to anyone’s problems. i would know” he pleaded with archie as rafe’s face scrunched up in hurt as he remembered the aftermath of that fight like it was yesterday.

“b-but, buddy, what’s worse is the night i overdosed on cocaine when i was seventeen years-old, twenty-one years ago. if it weren’t for your mom coming over to find your aunt sarah to do some project for school, i wouldn’t be here right now. it was your fucking mother who found me being delirious and aggressive. i almost hit her because i was so out of my mind. but then before i could do anything, i passed out and went out cold, all while my heart almost stopped beating” rafe croaked out as Y/N continued to rub rafe’s back as this had always been a tough subject to talk about after she had told him she was the one who’d found him that night. he continued again once he cleared his throat, “that night i had done a few extra lines and what i didn’t know at the time was that they were laced with small amounts of fentanyl and that’s why my heart rate was so low. i had to have THREE doses of NAR-CAN archie. and then i went into a 2-day coma” rafe started to cry again, not from the remembrance of that night but to the idea that that could be his boy one day.

“i-i didn’t know that dad” archie stuttered out as he looked down to his lap.

rafe continued, “my dad was so adamant about keeping the fentanyl part private that he paid people off so it wouldn’t ruin his deals. and he scrutinized me for doing drugs. he never asked me why. and sure as hell never really cared about me. i promised myself i would do right by you since my father never could do right by me. so that’s why we’re talking and not judging you for your choices.”

“why did you do it?” archie asked his father the question very few people had ever asked him throughout these 23 years since he’d first been introduced to that drug.

rafe, who’d been taken aback responded with a shake of the head confused, “wait what?”

“why did you start using?”

“um, my mom had died when i was ten and from that point on i wasn’t okay mentally. i didn’t have the love a child needs from their mother, instead i had a greedy, self centered, physically and emotionally abusive, selfish man for a father. he only ever seemed to care more about both of your aunts, money and my step mom, than he did me. he would hardly even look my way. he never truly loved me. so when i got to the kook academy and went to my first party, i was offered a line and took it. it made me feel what i thought was happy but looking back at it i just felt numb. but it was just a way for me to forget about my own shit and past and my emotions. using cocaine allowed me to forget everything that had happened. but with it came hurting others i loved and cared about. which is more important to me than myself. i’d do anything to go back and not get addicted. i hated hurting the ones i loved most. and it took years to build my relationships back up all because of my addiction. addiction is a demon. i’m lucky i got clean. you’re lucky you have us, supportive parents who will be there for you every step of the way” rafe spoke with passion as he looked deep into his boys blue eyes that had resembled his own.

“dad, i’m scared. how do i even get clean? how’d you get clean?”

“baby, archie, i don’t wanna find you like i found your father. that night was the scariest night of my life. i had ptsd from that night and had to go to therapy for a few years due to it. i don’t know if i can do that again, especially if it’s you hunny” Y/N cooed as she leaned forward to caress her boy’s face, pushing back his curtain bangs that resembled his fathers when he was his age.

“arch, it’s okay to be scared. hell, i was so scared when i woke up in the hospital and the doctor told my dad and i that i had overdosed on cocaine and fentanyl. when i heard that i wanted to get clean, but i was so scared. and my father had always told me anytime i showed emotion of any kind, to man up. to not show emotion. that’s what lead me to the drugs in the first place. embrace your emotions bud. even if it means you’re scared. it’s healthier that way.” rafe attempted to explain how he felt about expressing one’s emotions.

prepared to answer the second half of archie’s question rafe took an even breath in and out before he spoke, “i got clean probably the worst and most painful way you can do it. i went cold turkey. which takes a lot of determination. after seeing your aunts so scared, i wanted oh-so badly to get clean. but i was hard on the drug. i had gone to another party one night my senior year of high school, and had just quit two days before, when i met your mom. well i thought that was the first time i’d met her because in reality i had no recollection of the night of my overdose. had no idea your mom was the one who’d saved my life. anywho, i basically felt drawn to her and just being around her and talking to her kept me grounded and in line with what i needed to do. and that was get clean. i couldn’t go to a rehab because then my fathers business partners would’ve heard and his deals would’ve fallen through. so i did it on my own. but archie buddy, if your addiction is as bad as mine was by the time i was sixteen, then i want you to know your mom and i want to put you in rehab. it’s the healthiest and best way to get clean”

“i-i never knew that dad. i-i’m sorry. and mom used to go to parties?” archie frowned, as he tried to lighten the mood just slightly, earning a small chuckle from both of his parents.

“and that’s why i’m telling you bud. and yeah your mom was one hell of a beer pong partner” rafe smirked as he side-eyed his wife Y/N. “but arch, bud, i need to know, how often do you use? i promise i won’t judge you. okay? i’ve been through this same boat years ago. i’m here for you. we’re here for you” rafe cocked an eyebrow up as he questioned his only son.

“every other day sometimes every day. it just depends. i only started doing it after my injury last football season. yah know, when i broke my wrist? i was just so upset and frustrated that i couldn’t play for the rest of the season and then before i knew it, i was addicted i guess” archie huffed out in anger, just like his father used to do all those years ago. just thinking about how easily he got addicted to the drug pissed him off beyond means. the boy just wanted to get clean.

“fuck” rafe sighed as he bent his head down in his large hands. how had he not even noticed the change in archie? why hadn’t he even thought about how that injury could’ve affected him mentally? was it because he’d been working so much? was he just a horrible father like his own dad was? tears began to brim his eyes once again.

“dad, don’t feel bad about this please. it’s not your fault. i already know that you’re thinking you’ve being working too much and that’s why you haven’t noticed. that’s not true. i’ve just been hiding it really well” archie, spoke to his father as tears brimmed his own eyes now.

“i’m trying not to archie. it’s just hard. are you open to going to rehab or not?” rafe questioned as he lifted his head, swallowed his pride, and pushed back his tears to stay strong for archie and Y/N during these hard times. “i just want to express to you buddy, how lucky you are. this is a great opportunity. you’re lucky to have parents who truly care and love you because i never had that after my mom passed. and we both want the best for you” he continued on.

“of course i’ll go” archie quivered out as he looked at both of his parents. he felt so guilty to have put them through such a mess. especially his mother, Y/N, as she’d been through almost losing rafe all those years ago. he couldn’t even imagine the damage that must’ve done to her mentally when she found him. and to think that that could be him next that she found broke his heart to a thousand pieces.

“i-im sorry” the sixteen year-old boy croaked out to his two loving parents as he lunged forward to hug them both.

“we love you too baby, and we’re gonna get you the help you need” Y/N cooed to her little boy as she pecked his head.

“we’ll get you the help i never got, bud, okay? you’re gonna get through this, okay? got it?” rafe asked his son as he held archie’s face in his hands, making eye contact.

“yeah. im a cameron, of course i got this” he chuckled. “us cameron’s are stubborn and can make it through anything. right?” he questioned his father as he looked up at him.

“damn right. i love you archie, and i’m proud of you for taking such a big step. you’re gonna get clean and you’re gonna stay clean” he patted his son’s cheek as the three soaked in the last of their presence’s before archie left for rehab.

rafe sighed with a smile. he knew archie would get better…. after all he is a cameron for christ sake. ‘it’s hard to get rid of them’ he thought to himself as archie left that night for rehab. he smiled to himself because he knew in the end it would all work out. it always did for a cameron.

@slut4drudy @runningfrom2am @maybankslover

[tayrcse]

You’re Losing Me

✎ summary: How long can you be dying inside until he finally notices that he’s losing you?

✎ warnings: angst

✎ characters: Rafe Cameron

✎ word count: 867

You say, “I don’t understand,” and I say, “I know you don’t”

We thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won’t

Remember lookin’ at this room? We loved it ‘cause of the light

Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time

“I don’t understand,” Rafe said, tears brimming in his eyes.

You sigh, saying, “I know you don’t.”

You didn’t think this would happen. You never thought the day would come where you would have to give up on your relationship. You truly thought something would come along and fix the two of you. Now, you don’t think it will.

You look around the room, taking it in for the last time. You used to love it here. The light coming through the window shone on Rafe, illuminating his handsome face. You can’t remember the last time the two of you were here together. You don’t remember the last time this room felt like home.

Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?

I’m getting tired even for a phoenix

Always risin’ from the ashes

Mendin’ all her gashes

You might just have dealt the final blow

You weren’t sure you were ready to throw out everything you and Rafe built the last three years. You had held on for so long, been strong for so long. But, you were tired. Nothing had ever been able to break you, but you think Rafe might’ve done just that.

Stop, you’re losin’ me

Stop, you’re losin’ me

Stop, you’re losin’ me

I can’t find a pulse

My heart won’t start anymore for you

‘Cause you’re losin’ me

You felt yourself slipping from his fingertips. The arms that once held you so tightly were losing their grip. Your heart no longer leapt at the sight of him. Your relationship was dead, you knew that. Rafe lost you a long time ago.

Every mornin’, I glared at you with storms in my eyes

How can you say that you love someone you can’t tell is dyin’?

I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick

My face was gray, but you wouldn’t admit that we were sick

Rafe was oblivious to the storm brewing in your mind. How could he say that he loved you when he couldn’t even see how you were hurting? You gave him so many signs. He never seemed to notice. Did Rafe feel it? Could he feel the poison that was spreading between the two of you?

And the air is thick with loss and indecision

I know my pain is such an imposition

Now, you’re runnin’ down the hallway

And you know what they all say

“You don’t know what you got until it’s gone”

You felt like you were suffocating in this room with him. He wouldn’t say a word. Even now, when the end of your relationship was imminent, he wouldn’t fight for you. With a sigh, you brush past him, suitcase in hand, and walk out the door of the apartment you no longer share. It takes him too long to chase after you. You’re already at the end of the hallway when he’s running to catch up. You know what they say, “you never know what you have until it’s gone.” You don’t turn back.

How long could we be a sad song

’Til we were too far gone to bring back to life?

I gave you all my best me’s, my endless empathy

And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier

Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don’t you ignore me

How long could you and Rafe have lived like that? Like you were the main characters in a movie that could only end in heartbreak. You gave him the best parts of yourself. You held him up when things got hard. All you ever did was fight for you relationship. In return, he ignored you.

I’m the best thing at this party (You’re losin’ me)

And I wouldn’t marry me either

A pathological people pleaser

Who only wanted you to see her

Maybe you can pinpoint where in all went wrong. Maybe it was at your 21st birthday party last year when he had told you that you were the best thing there. Everyone had been convinced he was going to propose that day. He never did. You couldn’t blame him though. You wouldn’t marry you either, if you were him. After all, who would want to marry a pathological people pleaser?

And I’m fadin’, thinkin’

“Do something, babe, say something” (Say something)

“Lose something, babe, risk something” (You’re losin’ me)

“Choose something, babe, I got nothing” (I got nothing)

“To believe, unless you’re choosin’ me”

So many thoughts raced through your head as you walked away from the man you once loved. You were begging him to try harder. Begging him to just say something, do something. Begging him to choose you. But you never felt that hand on your shoulder, stopping you from walking out of his life. You never heard his voice, calling you to just stop and reconsider. You got nothing. And he lost everything.

[skyebounded]

Problems

© Skyebounded, do not use my work, but you may share it.

Masterlist

premise: When is enough, enough?

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Angst, swearing, gaslighting, talk about drugs, toxic relationship, it think that's mostly it, but there could be more. (typical Rafe stuff)

Word Count: 4.0K

A/N: Hello Lovelies 💙  I have been working on this for a little bit now, and I hope that you guys like it. It's straight-up toxic, so this one goes out to all the other mentally ill bitches (like myself) out there, LOVE YOU GUYS.

Also shout out to @glodessa​ for helping me out with this as well, Love ya bestie, thank you for your help!

You had done this far too many times to count, each one pushing you closer and closer to the end. You were racing down the windy back roads, going twenty over as you navigate your way through the cut. There had only been a handful of times that you had found yourself racing down these roads, and most of them had been during the day. This rare occasion, however, had you driving around each curve, practically blind at three am. 

You had tucked yourself into bed a little past ten, not at all expecting to get a call from an unknown number around two-fifty in the morning. If you hadn’t felt that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach, you probably wouldn’t have answered it, but you did. You didn’t expect whoever was on the end of the line to tell you ‘come get your boy, I ain’t dealing with his ass anymore!” followed by a text with an address attached to it. 

You knew deep down what it meant, what he was doing. That's how you found yourself scrambling to find a t-shirt to cover your naked body, before running out the door. Now here you were, three miles from your destination, tears building in your eyes, fuming with anger and praying to God he was okay. 

You pull yourself to a complete halt in front of a dumpy-looking trailer, as your nav alerts you ‘You’ve reached your destination’  On any other given day if the situation was different, you would be wary of getting out here. The place was littered with all sorts of shit. Garbage and random pieces of furniture were scattered throughout the yard. 

You climb out of your car, quickly wiping your puffy tear-filled eyes, slamming the door behind you, no care when you hear it echo loudly. Cool air stings your heated cheeks, as you march up to what you presume is the front door. You bang on the door, beating it down until the door flies open. The guy standing before you didn’t look familiar, you had never seen him before, and if you were being honest you were glad for it. He screamed trouble. His thin black hair was in a greasy ponytail, his facial hair unkempt and not to mention, the dingy wife beater and cargo shorts he was wearing. 

    “Where is he?” you ask blatantly. 

His eyes trail your form, a smug grin on his face. “Oh shit, so you’re Mrs. Country Club?” he steps aside, allowing for you to come in. “He’s through there.” He adds, pointing down the hall. As you make your way further through the trailer, the smell begins to singe your nose. You spot Rafe sitting on the couch, setting up what you could only assume was one of many lines on the table in front of him. Your jaw tightens, anger coursing through you. You make your way over to him, expecting him to look up at you, but he doesn't seem to notice you at all. You kneel down, waiting for him to go for the line, only to have you blow it out from under him, watching it turn to a cloud of dust before him.

His eyes meet yours, pupils blown and lids heavy. If looks could kill, you’d surely be dead, his glare was one of ice. You notice the way it softens momentarily when he realizes it’s you. 

    “What the fuck are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here!” he pauses his eyes flicking up the length of you, “What the fuck are you wearing?” 

On any other given occasion, you would have found his protectiveness over your outfit to be cute, but right now, it was nothing short of annoying. You bring yourself to really look at him, wondering what drove him here this time, wondering if it was sheer boredom or if he had fought with his father again.

    “I could ask you the same fucking thing, Rafe, and what I am wearing is not the problem right now!” You say through gritted teeth. You stand up, your hands finding your waist.

    “You’re very wrong if you think that what you are wearing isn’t a problem...The fucking problem is you aren’t wearing anything!” he bites back. You could tell he was getting angry, watching the way his jaw flexes, or the way his eyes fall shut as if he can't bring himself to look at you. 

    “I think you look good.” you hear the guy behind you speak up.

    “You better shut your fucking mouth, Barry!” Rafe snaps. You ignore both of them, looking around and collecting Rafe’s phone and keys off the table. 

    “Get up, we’re leaving,” you demand, ushering him to stand up. 

    “Don’t!” he barks. He stands up, his figure looming over your small one. It's then that you notice how rough he looks. His forehead is beaded in sweat, his hair a tangled mess, strands of it sticking to his face. He looked like he hadn’t slept or even showered for days, and it made you wonder how long he had really been here. Unbelievable. All you give him in response is a cold glare. 

“Don't fucking treat me like that.” His jaw tenses and his eyes narrow on you. 

You want so badly to put him in his place, to tell him off for everything, but you weren’t about to lay into him, not while you had an audience. You knew that it was bound to be an emotional roller-coaster and you didn’t want anyone else to see when you ultimately broke down in tears. 

You turn your head when you hear Barry laughing behind you. 

    “Is something funny to you?” you snap. A wide grin spreads across his face as he shakes his head slowly. 

    “It’s just funny the way he's more concerned with your outfit than anything else.” he laughs. You hear Rafe stir behind you, turning your head, you glare at him as if telling him to stand down before you turn your attention back to Barry. 

    “You know you seemed to be rather amused with this whole thing when in fact none of it is funny, it's sick.” you spit. Barry sits down in a chair, fiddling with the loose fabric on the arm of it. 

    “You’ve done this before, ain’t you?” He raises his brow, his eyes flicking between you and Rafe. “You’re pretty good at it.” 

You exhale loudly, rolling your eyes. A few too many times, you think.             

“Let’s go.” you turn to look at Rafe to make sure he understood before you turn to leave. You couldn’t get out of there fast enough. As soon as you hit open air, you take it all in as if you had been starved of it. 

    “Do you always let her talk to you like you're her bitch?”  Barry calls out to the pair of you. 

You turn around, ready to knock the smug look on his face. Marching over to him, your fists clenched at your side, interjected by Rafe’s arm wrapping around your waist and lifting you off the ground. You kick against him slightly, but there was no real way you were going to be able to fight against him. 

    “You better fucking watch your mouth, Barry,” Rafe calls back.

Rafe sets you down once you reach the car. You ball up your fist and hit his chest. 

    “Do not manhandle me!” you gripe.

    “Why did you come here? I don’t need your help,” he responds.

You were really trying your hardest to keep your composure, but he was making it so very difficult. At this point, you were ready to just leave him there and say forget it, but the little knot in your stomach was telling you that you could never do that to him. 

    “Is that so, Rafe? It was your boy over there who called me to come and get you, so get your ass in the damn car.” 

You were feeling too many emotions to even distinguish which ones you had control over, and if you engaged with him for too long, you were bound to break. 

    “Rafe, you forgetting something?” Barry calls out. 

Your eyes dart between them, wondering what it is that they could be talking about. 

    “I don’t have it right now, Barry,” You look at Rafe, and it almost looked like he was embarrassed, but you doubted it. Barry gives him a look, as if saying ‘that's not good enough’  before he turns to look at you, the smug grin still on his face. 

    “How bout you, you got it?” 

Realization sets in. You look at Rafe whose face has a stern look spread across it now. 

    “Barry, leave her out of this, I will get it!” He says firmly. 

Barry didn’t seem to care what Rafe was saying, that much was clear. 

    “How much does he fucking owe you?” You ask, grinding your teeth together. 

    “Do not answer that! Y/n get in the fucking car.” Rafe demands, but you ignore him. 

    “About two-fifty, give or take,” Barry remarks. 

You open the driver-side door, fishing for your wallet in the center console, ignoring Rafe’s attempts to stop you. Pulling out everything you had in your wallet, you make your way back to Barry. 

    “Here, consider his debt paid.” you throw the cash at him, watching his smile grow like some gross gesture as if he was getting pleasure from this whole exchange. You make your way back to the car, making no attempt to talk to Rafe as you open the door to the driver's side and climb in, shutting it before anything else could be said. Once the door shuts you exhale the breath that you didn’t realize you had been holding. You could feel the tears building up in your eyes, burning, along with the rapid beating of your heart. 

This was the very reason you hadn’t wanted to get into it with Rafe while you were inside. You didn’t want to cry in front of him let alone his newfound friend. You were starting to feel numb, numb to everything. You couldn’t do it anymore, and he knew that. You never asked anything of him, not once, but when you found out about his little habit, you asked him to quit it. Quit with the bullshit, the lies, and the drugs, and he did. Then not soon after things were good, you had found him back at it, and you told him that you were done. He had told you in his desperation, that he was sorry and that he would quit, he would quit for you. He promised you, again and again. 

You never considered that it would be that hard, when the benefit was so much more fulfilling especially because you would do anything for him, die for him, steal for him, even kill for him, but all you asked in return is for him to quit.

He lied. Again and again, he lied. 

You close your eyes for a brief moment, letting the tears that had formed in your eyes trickle down your cheeks before you open them. The passenger’s door opens and Rafe climbs in, shutting the door rather forcefully. You sniffle and wipe the tears away before he could see. You type in your address into the navi before pulling away from the dumpy trailer. 

    “What the fuck, Rafe?” you accuse. 

He cranes his head to look at you. 

    “What?” he asks. The annoyance, already building in his tone. 

You think carefully about what you want to say. Part of you just wants to sweep it under the rug and make sure he’s okay, forgetting that it ever happened, whereas the other part of you felt like it was suffocating you. 

    “You promised me you would quit.” you pause, turning your head to glance at him. His gaze was still ice as he looks back at you. “You promised me you were done.”

He rolls his eyes, leaning back into his seat. He runs his hands through his hair with a deep sigh. 

    “It was just one time, I have quit. I really don’t understand why you’re mad right now.” 

You scoff, you knew what one time meant. You had heard it enough in your life to know that it was never just one time. You’re not even sure why you were expecting him to apologize. Perhaps it was because you were still holding on to hope for him, for your relationship, but It was a stupid notion. 

“That’s fucking bullshit, and we both know it, Rafe. I’m mad that you can’t just be honest with me! I’m mad that I had to run out of my house at three am because your friend called me telling me to come get your ass.” 

Your blood was starting to boil as you spoke. You grip the steering wheel tighter, your knuckles turning white.

    “Can you just not right now, I really don’t want to get into this with you.” he sighs.

His attitude bothered you more than anything. It was like he couldn’t see the problem in what he was doing, like he could do it just once, and then he wouldn’t do it again. In all honesty, it broke your heart to see him this way, especially because he usually only did it when something was bothering him. 

    “What was it this time, was it your dad? Did you guys get into another fight?” 

When it came to the topic of his father, Rafe would always get defensive, and for what reason, you didn't know. It always struck a nerve, and if you weren’t careful you could end up hitting the wrong nerve. You turn to look at him. His eyes were closed, and his jaw tightened. You had struck something. You didn’t need to see his eyes to know that. 

    “Rafe.” you prod. 

He opens his eyes, and you can see the crazy behind them. 

    “Shut up!...Shut up! Just fucking shut up. I told you not now!” 

He throws his hands up indicating for you to keep quiet, but tonight was not the night you were going to listen. You pull the car to a halt on the side of the road, nearly crashing into a nearby tree in the process. Rafe falls forward, his arm his only protection from hitting the dashboard. 

“What the fuck!” He turns to you, his eyes glinting with rage. You rip your seatbelt off and climb out of the car, you need air. The crisp morning air burning your heated cheeks. You hear Rafe’s door slam shut, the sound of it echoing in the open air. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” 

You glare at him as he storms around the car until he is only feet in front of you. 

    “What’s my problem! What’s my fucking problem, Rafe?” you throw your arms back in frustration, laughing frantically. 

    “This! This is my fucking problem! You are my fucking problem!” you shout. 

He takes a step back, his head cocking slightly and his eyes widening. 

“Oh, I’m the fucking problem? You know what, If anyone should have a goddamn problem it's me! Look at you, you are running around half fucking naked letting everyone see you!” he steps closer, his hand immediately warped around your throat as he applied pressure to your trachea. “You are my fucking girlfriend, and this is not for anyone else to see but me!” His finger gestures up and down the length of your body. You exaggeratedly shrug it off, rolling your eyes. 

“You’re pathetic,” you scoff, watching as his jaw tenses. “Everything you do and say is fucking pathetic. Your excuses are fucking pathetic, Rafe!” you add. You were barely able to breathe despite being engulfed in the crisp morning air. You couldn’t seem to inhale enough of it. The panic starts rising and you feel as if your lungs were beginning to collapse. You hear him let out a scoff, shaking his head slowly trying to make sense of what you were saying. He lets go of your throat, inching back just a little. 

    “What do you want from me? Honestly! What more do you want?!” he demands, “I fucking quit, for you! You asked me to and I did it, so I don’t understand what the issue is here.”

He steps closer to you, your only response is backing up. He notices it and his expression of anger falters and his worry fills it a moment before he shakes it off. He runs his hands through his hair and turns around.

    “Oh! And what the hell was that back there? Thinking you can talk to me like that in front of other people, not okay!” he adds.

“Oh give it a rest! That is not the issue right now! You know what I want, I want you to keep your promises, Rafe! I want you to stop with the sorry ass excuses and grow up! But you can’t, can you, you are a fucking child?” you scream. 

You watch him pace back and forth, shaking his head. He gives you no response, which only fuels more from you. 

    “Are you even fucking listening to me?” you step forward, inching closer to him. “Hello!”

He stops and faces you, a crazed look in his eyes. 

“You know what, everything I do is for you, for us!” he exclaims.

You let out a scoff, rolling your eyes. “You are fucking delusional!” you snort, turning on your heel. You wanted to put a little distance between you, get away from him for a moment. You were suffocating and you needed space.  

“Don’t walk away from me!” he calls, “Y/n, don’t you fucking walk away from me!” he yells. You could hear him close behind you, shouting your name in the process. You could hear the hint of desperation in his voice, and it tugged at you, urging you to turn around and let him win. To let him convince you that everything was fine and that he would somehow make it better. He grabs your arm, spinning you around to face him. His hand wraps around your jaw, forcing you to look at him. 

“Look at me when I’m talking to you.”  His hold on you firm, establishing the control he had on you. His worried eyes, searching yours for something, drifting down to your lips. 

“I fucked up, but I meant it when I told you that I would quit,” he says, his voice softening as if he were actually sorry, but you knew better. 

“But it doesn’t mean anything Rafe, it never does. All you do is lie and lie and lie, and I can’t take it anymore.” you exhale, your breath shaky as well as your body, “you do nothing but give me empty promises, you drain me of everything! I can’t even breathe when I'm with you. I am so worried about you all the fucking time. I am so goddamn tired of it!” you scream, your chest heaving. 

“I didn’t fucking ask you to, you did that on your own!” he says back. 

You snicker, letting your head fall back and your eyes fall closed. “Are you kidding me! You are actually so fucking delusional.” you pause, your eyes narrow on him, watching the way his jaw locks, and the way his eyes fall closed momentarily.  “You know what Rafe, I am done, I am not doing this anymore.” 

Rafe grabs your arm, drawing you closer to him. Leaning down so that his face is inches from yours. “See I don’t think you are.” he laughs.  “You know why..?” he whispers. You swallow hard, fighting the urge to cry as you meet his eyes. Dark and sinister. “It’s because you need me. You can’t live without me, Y/n….tell me, what are you going to do without me? Hmm?” Rafe’s eyes fall to your lips, slowly tracing your face before his eyes meet yours once more. Rafe catches your lips with a hard kiss, claiming you in his own sick and twisted way. You allow yourself a mere moment to indulge in it, nothing but a pure second before you’re pulling away, shoving him off of you. Before you have time to register it, your hand flies across his face. 

“No! You don't get to do that!” you huff. You urge yourself to take a step back, but you can't, you can't move. “You don’t get to act like everything is okay, ‘cause it's not!” You try to catch your breath. “I am done, Rafe! I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you, but I am done, I am so fucking done, we are done!” You take a heavy exhale, your heart racing, the tears that you had vowed to keep in, now following freely from your eyes. You were shaking, standing there watching as he processed it all, rubbing his face lightly.  Nothing but a scoff and a shake of his head. His lip juts out, as he mumbles a soft “okay, okay.” 

You don't know what to feel. You thought that somehow you would feel relieved, that in some way you would feel at peace over it all, but you felt nothing but a nagging ache in the pit of your stomach. You felt as if you could throw up from it all.

    “Get in the fucking car,” you say, your voice just barely above a whisper. You slowly but surely make your way back, opening the door and climbing in. Brushing your hands over your face, you wipe away the remnants of the tears, pulling yourself together when Rafe slides in next to you. 

You don't bother to look at him as you start the car, and pull back onto the road. You don’t want to know what he’s thinking, feeling, you're not even sure yourself what you were feeling. You start to wonder if you made the wrong decision. Part of you wanted to forgive him and forget everything. To go back to pretending that everything was okay and that you were without a doubt happy. As you drive in silence, you let all of the good times consume you, flooding your mind, and you think that you did make the wrong decision. That he was right, you couldn’t be without him, but then all of the bad begins to seep through, consuming all of the good memories. 

All the times that he had left you alone, worried about what could possibly be happening to him. All the times that he had missed dates, events, and his only apology were expensive gifts that had no meaning other than an empty promise., or even all the times that you had to deal with him when he was so messed up with nowhere to go other than you. You had been drowning, drowning through all of it. 

You pull into his driveway, pulling the car to a halt, and putting it in park. You don’t say anything, you can’t, you just wait for him to leave. You hear him scoff, as he opens the door, climbing out. 

    “You’ll be back, you always are. See you soon, angel.” he closes the door, leaning through the window, “I love you.,” he says with a grin, blowing you a kiss. 

It's then that you knew that no matter what he did or what he continues to do, you would be back because he was right, you couldn’t live without him. 

[l0caltiredgirl]

when i want fluff/angst fics and all i’m getting is smut

the struggle is real

[loveharlow]

rafe cameron p. links ⌦ .｡.:*♡

WARNING(S)‧₊˚  literal porn. these are porn links. if it takes you to a web page and nothing is there, press the 'open in app' button. 💋

rafe fucking you first thing in the morning

he doesn't want to see your face 'cause he's mad

he fucks you at a house party

rafe tries to fuck you quietly while ward & rose are home

he eats you out for the first time and can't get enough

reverse cowgirl in the back of his truck

fucking in his truck in the club parking lot

he tries not to cum inside of you but fails

he gets tired of fucking with red lights on

he posts y'all fucking on his snap story

rafe loves your new back tattoo

let me know if any of these links appear broken!

[kitscutie]

Hi, could you can do one where Rafe finds that you are sh, but first he begins to suspect for a long time and begins to ask discreetly, you think that he doesn't know anything and you don't want him to find out either, but in the end they are playing wrestling and accidentally the he discovers it and asks in serious but not angry tones what those are, you try to pretend that they are nothing but this time he doesn't let you escape so easily, in the end you end up confessing and he shows his support and makes you feel good

Sorry if it's too long (I don't know if it was understood)

not alone (rafe cameron x fem!reader)

𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝗋𝖺𝖿𝖾 𝖼𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗋𝗈𝗇 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀ꜱ: ꜱ𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝗆, 𝖽𝖾𝗉𝗋𝖾ꜱꜱ𝗂𝗈𝗇, 𝖺𝗇𝗑𝗂𝖾𝗍𝗒, 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗍

ꜱ𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒: 𝗒𝗈𝗎'𝗏𝖾 ᖯ𝖾𝖾𝗇 ꜱ𝗍𝗋𝗎𝗀𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗇 ꜱ𝗂𝗅𝖾𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖺 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖾 ᖯ𝗎𝗍 𝗋𝖺𝖿𝖾 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐ꜱ 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗍𝗈𝗈 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝗅, 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 ᖯ𝖾𝗀𝗂𝗇𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗂ꜱ𝖾 ꜱ𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂ꜱ𝗇'𝗍 𝗊𝗎𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖺ᖯ𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎.

𝖺/𝗇: 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂ꜱ 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝗁𝖾𝗅𝗉 ꜱ𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗀𝗈𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁 𝖺 𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾, 𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺ꜱ𝖾 𝖽𝗈𝗇'𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝗂𝖿 𝗂𝗍 𝗆𝖺𝗒 𝗍𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗀𝖾𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝗋ꜱ𝗍. 𝖺𝗅ꜱ𝗈, 𝗂 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖽𝗈𝗇'𝗍 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝖽 ꜱ𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝖽𝖾𝗍𝖺𝗂𝗅ꜱ ᖯ𝗎𝗍 𝗂 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗀𝗈 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝖿𝗅𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖿𝖾𝗅𝗍 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝖾 ᖯ𝗎𝗍 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 ꜱ𝗍𝗎𝖼𝗄 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅 𝗈𝗎𝗍𝗅𝗂𝗇𝖾. 𝗋𝖾𝗊𝗎𝖾ꜱ𝗍ꜱ 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗈𝗉𝖾𝗇!

Kook. A word you had began to hate. You had been friends with the Cameron's since you were only one. Meeting Sarah in a park on figure eight and quickly becoming friends, no, best friends. Since then you had met her family, won over her parents, fell in love with her brother and babysat her little sister.

It was all too good to be true, literally.

Sarah faded out of your life within a week. Meeting John B and seemingly falling in love with him over night. It annoyed you how easily she had moved on, found new friends, never even giving you a good reason. Kie, her sworn enemy had replaced you as her best friend while you were left to rot, the only trace of her existence being your boyfriend (her brother) and the bracelet she made you in sixth grade.

You had always been Pro-Pogue, never talking badly of those with less. Never messing with them, never picking fights and treating them with the same respect you treat Kooks. It seemed she didn't agree. Turning on you as the Pogues convinced her you were just like Rafe, spoiled and all-mighty. You thought she would at least remember that wasn't true. Care that it wasn't true, but she didn't.

Fazing you out of her life as though you were never there in the first place.

Of course that wasn't all that dampened your mood, but it was a start.

"Hey." Rafe commanded your attention back to him as you lay on the sofa of the Cameron house together. "You good? Looking a little lost." He chuckled in the smug Rafe Cameron way that he typically did.

"Fine just, thinking, I don't know." You answered, waving away his concern. Though he had every right to be. Under your shirts sleeve was a physical embodiment of the pain you felt inside. The loneliness of your friends abandoning you, the feeling of nobody liking you, being unlovable, ugly, weird, snotty, jealous. The list went on and on inside your head, a silent battle.

At least you had Rafe, right?

"Don't tell me you're pissed off again?" He asked, seemingly angry at you. "I swear to god if you're upset about Sarah she's not worth it." He scoffed at the thought of his younger sister who was your age.

"She was my friend." You spoke, voice wavering.

"Was. Key word Y/N, she abandoned you. For what? Some stupid Pogues?" He spat getting up from the sofa, seemingly irritated by your emotional state.

"Yeah but I've known her since, well forever Rafe-" you began, though it didn't take long for him to cut you off. Angry? High? You didn't know.

"I've known you forever Y/N!" He yelled making you flinch. It was at times like these that you saw the typical cook Rafe Cameron from figure eight that everyone else did, you hated it. "Long enough to know she's not good enough for you, okay? So stop talking about it." He finished, walking out of the room. Most likely to sniff some coke with Kelce.

Eyes filling with tears you ran up to his room, body filling with pain as you fell into the trap your brain wouldn't let you escape for the third time.

Curled up on his bed you heard a knock on the door and you pulled your sleeved down to hide the scars left behind.

"Y/N?" You heard his voice, soft and gentle, very different from the previous Rafe you dealt with that day. He took a seat on the bed next to you hand gliding over your hip which was nestled beneath many blankets.

"What." You spoke, voice tired and croaky from the hours of shed tears within the past few days.

"Look, I've been speaking to Topp about what I said and, I know I probably took it too far. You have the right to be upset whether I like Sarah or not." He spoke so softly it was almost a whisper. Hand continuing it's soothing movements.

Sniffling once more, you turned onto your side now facing him. With that he saw your puffy and red eyes. His face dropping along with his heart. He could see the way your hands held the bottom of your sleeves down and, of course, he assumed the worst. A pink tinge showing from beneath the white fabric.

"Why're you doing that?" He asked. Taking one of your hands into his own.

"Doing what? You asked, tucking your body up to your neck under the blanket.

"Hm, never mind. Look, I'm sorry and I really do love you even if I'm shitty at showing it." He scampered to save himself, a hand running through his greasy hair that made him look oh so beautiful. His voice almost cut out when saying the word, 'love', clearly not used to that emotion, even if he had said it to you before.

"It's okay." You replied. It wasn't. "I'm just being over-emotional." You chuckled tearily. You weren't.

"You're mine either way so I gotta take care of you, yeah?" He asked, hand stroking the hairs from your forehead as his eyes connected with yours deeply. Rafe had two sides, caring, loyal and loving versus irritable, angry and overwhelmed. As long as you had him, it didn't matter which version you got. "You promise you're okay? I was just being stupid."

"I promise." You tearily smiled, and as he left you couldn't help but let them fall once more. Disappointed that you let his offer of support slip away once more.

Little did you know, his suspicions of you hurting yourself hadn't faded. Your usual self had been missing for a while now, and he couldn't help but blame Sarah.

You don't know how you ended up here but you liked it. In some random house in figure eight, drinking in a shirt and skirt two sizes too small. Rafe's body pressed up against yours as you went upstairs to have some 'alone time'.

The five vodka cranberries you previously drank finally caught up to you as you giggled and stumbled against Rafe's muscular body. Him chuckling in return at your state. He too was drunk, enough to feel a buzz but not enough to put you in danger.

You practically fell into the spare bedroom you had found, bodies colliding on the double bed and his hands, as they usually would in times like this, grabbed onto your wrists in order to hold them down against the mattress though this time, you winced.

Too drunk to realise what was happening you continued pushing your lips against his though the favour wasn't returned. His eyes stuck on your wrists which felt, bumpy?

"Why are you wincing?" He asked, gently cradling your head with one hand in order to keep your eyes on him.

"What do you mean, no I'm not." You chuckled, anxiety setting in as you noticed your mistake.

"You did. Just then when I touched your wrist?" He said, voice whispered as much like you, his anxiety set in. Memories rushed in of your bad attitude, low appetite, teary eyes, clinginess and suddenly it began to make sense. You were depressed and his heart was sinking deeper and deeper into his chest by the second.

"Please tell me you haven't-" He started though before he could finish his panic took over and he pulled your sleeve up, revealing the painful looking scars. "What are those, Y/N?" He asked, voice rough but not annoyed, you couldn't quite distinguish his tone.

No words came to your mouth, only stutters of sentences, never complete. Suddenly, a sob breached your throat and you clung to the boy on top of you tighter than you ever had before.

"Shhh." He comforted you. Instinct to love you taking over any shock there previously. "It's okay baby, it's okay." He soothed once more, hand running over you hair as you tucked your face into his neck. His own tears kissed his eyes though he never let them fall.

"I'm sorry." You blubbered and he scoffed.

"Why are you apologising? This isn't your fault." He cooed, in disbelief one person could carry the weight of so many emotions alone. "You have nothing to be sorry for okay? I should've been there for you, made you comfortable to tell me about stuff like this." He added, holding you impossibly closer.

"Okay." You stuttered. Welcoming his words into your sad mind, feeling the weight they lifted.

"You're not alone anymore. I'm gonna take care of you." He whispered in your ear and for the first time in months, you smiled. Small and almost invisible but your lips twitched. "I love you." He said.

"I love you too." You answered. Going home that night hand in hand and realising it wasn't you against the world anymore, you weren't alone. You had Rafe. You had someone who really loved you and wanted to help you.

And that was enough.

[miley1442111]

Rafe Cameron loves you and is worried you don’t love him back. You are Sarah’s friend and had already told her that you loved Rafe, but didn’t know if he loved you back. You’re a Pogue.

this request was so fun to do, thank you for requesting !!!

only time will tell- r.cameron

a/n: i didn't imagine a fem! or male! reader so imagine what you want :)

summary: rafe still has time to win you over after his terrible behaviour, right?

pairing: rafecameron x reader

warnings: mentions of alcohol and drinking, mentions of drugs and dealing drugs, general angst

A part of you hated Rafe Cameron. His shitty attitude, his party-boy persona, his terrible habit of bottling up his emotions, then running straight to you to beg for forgiveness. And you, being you, always let him back in. The other part of you was in love with him. His beautiful smile, unseen kindness, and softness reserved only for you. 

“He’s an asshole!” Sarah groaned. “How are you ‘in love’ with him?”

“I don’t know! It’s just different when it’s us two. And then he runs off and he’s a dick again,” you sighed, frustrated with your own feelings. “I think I need to actually break it off clean, it’s not healthy for either of us anymore.”

“Woah,” Sarah and Wheezie mumbled at the same time.

“You think you can do it?” Sarah asked.

“I have to. It’s not like it’ll hurt him, he doesn’t love me.”

“You don’t know that-” Wheezie tried, but your mind was made up. You were sick of being used by him.

“Oh, and you do? He looks at me like I’m something to be had, not something to love.”

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You really thought that he didn’t love you? He paced his bedroom, torturing himself with what he had heard from your conversation with his sisters. He knew he wasn’t a good boyfriend, he knew it upset you when he dealt and drank too much, he knew you didn’t want to be a ‘perfect Kook wife’ like Rose. You had plans to go to the mainland for college, maybe never come back to the Outer Banks. He knew your relationship wasn’t helping either of you, that he was a terrible boyfriend, that he used you, but he also knew he couldn’t breathe without you. He knew he couldn’t live a happy life without you beside him. Yes, he was young, but his mind was well beyond his years. He needed you. He’d always need you. 

At least one good thing had come out of that conversation. He found out you love him. He’d spent recent months of your relationship coming to terms with the fact that he was stupidly and grossly in love with you. Something he didn’t think would ever be reciprocated. But here you were, confessing to his sisters that you loved him. He thought back to the first time he saw you, walking with Kie at school. You were one of those pogues that got a scholarship to the private school. You were shy but kind to those you knew, and those you didn’t. He was the year above you, graduating, but you didn’t question when his history teacher asked you to tutor him. You were so patient with him, even when he was late, or just flat-out didn’t show up. Even when he’d show up high out of his mind or drunk you’d make sure he got home safe and sat with him on the porch of Tannyhill as he came down.  

Your kind heart was his, and he was sick of missing dates and treating you as a disposable person, because you weren't. You were the love of his life. He wanted to make this right.

He heard your footsteps outside his bedroom door, and he quickly opened the door and pulled you inside by your waist. He practically glued his lips to your own as you let out a yelp of surprise. 

“Baby-” you tried to talk but he stopped you, his lips forceful and unwavering. He pulled away softly, hands on your waist to keep you in front of him. 

“Y/n, I love you. I’m in love with you. I love everything about you. I know I’m a shitty boyfriend, you don’t need to tell me that,” he was tearing up. “But please, I need you. I feel like I can’t breathe when you're not around. I don’t want to be anywhere you’re not. It’s fucking crazy. I feel fucking crazy half the time but I know one thing, and it’s that you’re the only person I know I want to see everyday- no fuck that, every fucking second, for the rest of my life. I adore you, and I’m so sorry that I let you believe I didn’t. I’m done with all of it. No more drinking, no more drugs, just you and me.”

You stood there in shock, a single tear falling from your eye. “Rafe-”

“I’m so sorry-”

You cut him off by kissing him, then pulling away. “I’ll believe that when I see it. This is the last chance I’m giving you Rafe Cameron. One more.”

“I’ll make it worth it.”

“You better,” you smiled, then kissed him again. You were hopeful that he would truly stop his shitty behaviour, but only time could tell.  

[mariespen]

Never Alone ₊✩ˎˊ˗

rafe x reader angst/comfort ⊹˚.⋆ Summary: Rafe goes to sleep alone after reader doesn't listen to him, but something's missing. Warnings: arguing/yelling, reader being in the wrong, insults and some stronger language

⊹˚.⋆︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵⊹˚.⋆

“I can’t believe this.. I can’t believe you.” Rafe said, pointing an accusatory finger and shaking his head in disappointment.

You stood there, any bit of attitude that you walked in with had left your body the moment you saw the look in his eyes.

“Rafe, I just lost track of time!” You protested, unintentionally sounding whiny.

“You don’t fucking listen!” His voice raised and you stood smaller as he continued his rant, “Everything I say is in and out with you.” His eyes narrowed at your face.

There was only one thing that pushed Rafe off the edge; not listening to what he tells you. Months ago he had told you not to hang out with the pogues. Since then, you’d been sneaking around with them to not piss off your short-tempered boyfriend. 

It’s proving to be true that you also should’ve listened to him when he told you to be ready for a gala by 6pm sharp tonight. The Cameron family was being honored at the country club for being generous contributors after a particularly large donation made by Rafe’s father.  Of course, you found yourself adventuring with the pogues, stained with dirt and very far from home at 6pm. 

According to him, Rafe had been covering for you all night, saying that you had the flu and wouldn’t be able to make it. Your arrival was heavily anticipated because your grandfather was a big name in the country club. In turn, Rafe needed you there to make conversation and for a good excuse to leave early. He was beyond livid when he stormed into the house at 9pm and realized that you still weren’t home. When you finally tried to sneak into the bedroom thirty minutes later, praying Rafe was still away and racking your brain for believable excuses, he was waiting with an angry red face.

It didn’t help your case at all when Rafe saw JJ Maybank and Kiara Carrera driving away from his house.

“Rafe m’sorry-'' you tried to apologize again, but he cut you off.

“I don’t care!” He stared at you for a moment, taking in your expression before starting again, “Jesus, s’like you’re a child.” he mumbled, ready to end the night angry.

Until you rolled your eyes right as he turned around to face you again.

“Rolling your eyes at me, hm?” He said, the anger coming back into his tone, “y’know what? If you want to hang out with those assholes so bad, go on. S’where you belong.” He said, his tone biting into you as he turned again.

Tears welled in your eyes. You knew Rafe had brought you this kook lifestyle when you were struggling after your mother left the island. You thanked him for two weeks after you moved in with him, then the two of you didn’t speak about it. It’s been a year since then and this was the first time he had brought it up. You didn't think he'd hold it above you.

A sob escaped the confines of your throat when he slammed the door behind him. You let your body crumble, crying into your hands. He had barely let you get a word out and you hated him for it. You knew you were in the wrong, but his words kicked you in the gut.

You picked your own sobbing body up, quieting down and making your way to change from your dirty clothes. You could hear Rafe’s pacing steps and occasional annoyed sighs from downstairs. After wiping the dirt off of your body and getting changed, you laid in the huge bed the two of you shared, trying to distract yourself. You already knew that Rafe planned to sleep in a guest room downstairs and you told yourself it was fine. 

An hour passed and turned into two, the clock ticking as you eventually watched three hours pass. You were restless, just like how you always were without Rafe. You both couldn’t sleep without the other’s company. You were going to lay awake all night until a soft knock on the door sounded around the room and an exhausted Rafe tried to quietly walk in. You sat up, looking at his hooded eyes.

“Rafe, I’m so sorry..” You took in a breath as you prepared to spit all of your reasons out at once.

“No, m’sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” He breathed out, sitting on the bed next to you.

“No, Rafe. I was irresponsible, baby please.. please forgive me.” You whispered your last words, tears forming again, “I’ll listen. I promise I’ll listen.”

“Shh baby..” He cooed, laying down and holding you to him, “we can talk in the morning. Js need you..” He muttered.

You meekly smiled into him, happy to know that his soft spot for you hadn’t worn thin.

“I love you.” You whispered into his chest, but the only response you got back were his small snores.

⊹˚.⋆︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵⊹˚.⋆

[milo-manheim-luver]

The Night We Met- Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader

summary: rafe thinks you two met at a party years ago, but finds out you two had actually met a year before that. but why can’t he remember? and what happened that night?

warnings: major drug use, drug overdose, angst, mentions of alcohol, fluff, ooc rafe, suggestive content and defs cringy at the end lol. also might be a bit short? idek.

a/n: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THE WARNINGS ABOVE don’t know how i feel about the ending but i’m gonna yolo it. thought of this idea/concept when i was listening to the song below:

“you know, i’m so fucking happy you said ‘yes’. i honestly don’t know what i would’ve done if you hadn’t” rafe spoke as he held Y/N in his arms, curled up in the bed at his father’s house in the bahamas. one arm wrapped around the young woman’s back as the other gripped her bare thigh against his hip. the young woman’s hand drew imaginary shapes against his chest before looking up into his deep blue eyes.

“i could never say the word ‘no’ to you my love. never. i’m yours. forever and always. you’re the best thing that’s happened to me and i’m so happy i’m finally a cameron” Y/N face cracked into a wide smile, as she continued to gaze into rafe’s eyes, as he broke into a rare, genuine smile. the two had just gotten married the night before, and were now just relaxing in the privacy of rafe’s, father’s home in the bahamas.

“im so happy we met. truly, i am. i love you baby” rafe whispered down to his newly wedded wife, moving his hand from holding her bare thigh, to push back a piece of her hair from her face, as he planted a gentle, but passionate kiss to her plump lips.

“i love you too hunny” she whispered as their lips detached from one another’s. “d-do you remember the night we met?” Y/N continued, swallowing the lump in her throat. she knew she’d have to tell him her secret eventually, and now seemed like the perfect time as they were about to spend the rest of their lives together.

“uh yeah… i think so? pretty sure it was that banger of a party top was having my senior year of high school. you had come to the party with sarah. you guys had only been friends for about a year or two by then? i couldn’t stop looking at you” rafe chuckled at the memory as he continued. “i got you on my team as we played beer pong… and we killed it. everyone else we went up against sucked so bad” rafe continued to hold her in his arms, looking down to admire the woman he’d just gotten so lucky to marry.

“uh… r-rafe um m-my love. c-can i tell you something?” Y/N stuttered out to rafe. she was so scared to tell him how wrong he was, but she knew it had to be done.

“babe, you know you can tell me anything. what is it?” rafe questioned, as his hand on her bare thigh, began to rub soothing circles into her soft skin.

“that’s not the night we met… um… do you remember that story you told me about your overdose incident you had when you were only seventeen?” Y/N whispered out, not wanting to upset rafe by bringing up a hard time from his past that he was never proud of.

“uh, yeah. i do. that night is kinda a blur still to this day. all i remember is doing a few too many lines and waking up in the kildare island hospital two days later. doctors said if whoever had made the call, called five minutes later i’d be dead. why?” he spoke softly, as he replayed the memories in his brain. he’s hurt so many people during that period of time. he wished he’d never even started doing the drug, but at the time he felt as if that was the only thing that could save him from himself.

the young woman began to shake involuntary, getting her lovers attention, “babe why are you shaking? did i go too hard earlier?” he chuckled out lightheartedly, trying to lighten her mood.

“i’m shaking because i feel bad for keeping something from you. and yeah you did go hard, but i’m not complaining…. but that’s besides the point. please hear me out and don’t get mad. i only did it to protect you” she rambled on as rafe’s facial expression changed from a smile, to a stone-cold look, going completely serious.

she took his silence and stare as a sign to continue on what she had been keeping from him for the last 5 years. “that night you overdosed, i had come over to tannyhill to talk to sarah about something a-and when i got there…. there was nobody home… u-until i walked past your room a-and you were just pacing back and forth like some crazy guy” Y/N sniffled out as she moved her hand from drawing imaginary shapes from rafe’s chest, to cradle his left cheek as she spoke.

Y/N had just arrived to tannyhill, as her and sarah had to start working on a school project soon. but as soon as she arrived to the house, it was completely empty. she was always welcomed in, even when nobody was home. rose and ward had adored her as soon as they’d met her six months before tonight. it also helped that Y/N family were close business partners with ward as well.

as soon as Y/N walked up the spiral staircase, calling out sarah’s name, to see if she was home, she rounded the corner trying to find sarah. instead of sarah, however she found sarah’s brother, pacing his room back and forth, mumbling words to himself. he’d seemed to be twitching, and almost shaking as he was pacing, alarming Y/N a small amount. she’s decided to step into his doorway to see if he was okay.

rafe’s eyes softened as his girl spoke of what really happened that night he’d almost died, nodding his head in her hand, signaling her to continue. “i approached you babe, and you started getting all paranoid, you were yelling at me, which i guess wasn’t that abnormal for you at the time from what i’d heard from others. you started marching over to me as you continued to yell, i think you were going to push me, but i don’t know, but then you just fell to the ground and started dry heaving involuntarily, as your breathing became unsteady. it scared me…. i’d never seen anyone like that before. b-but then y-you turned all pale and completely passed out. i-i didn’t know what to do so i ran over to you to see what happened” Y/N started to whimper, as a single tear fell from her tear duct, and rolled down her soft cheek.

“hey, rafe, right? it’s Y/N, sarah’s friend. are you okay? you don’t look too good” Y/N asked politely to the young teenage boy, who stopped his pacing to look up at the girl.

“who the hell are you? what are you doing in my house? huh?” the young man yelled, as he began to walk up towards the girl, ready to shove her out of his room, but before he could get close enough, he hunched over, involuntarily dry heaving, as his breathing became more rapid, drawing even more red flags in the young teenage girls brain.

his face started to turn as white as a ghost, before he ultimately lost consciousness completely, falling limp onto his bedroom floor. Y/N immediately ran over the boys sides to see what she could do.

rafe’s eyes began to water, as he stared down at Y/N, seeing her slowly crack and break down into his arms. something he had dwelled forever; seeing his lover heartbroken and distraught. he’d never wanted to see her this way. it ached him to see her this way, and to know he was the cause made it 10x worse. “b-baby, continue…. finish the story. i can take it” rafe’s voice cracked as he urged his lover to tell the rest of the story. he was in shambles at the moment, tears welling up in his eyes as they started to pour out one by one.

“as soon as i’d ran over to your body, i picked your head up, trying to talk to you. i was just trying to figure out what you had taken. but then i’d remembered hearing from sarah before that you’d been doing a lot of cocaine, but in all seriousness i don’t think anyone noticed how bad your addiction really was.” Y/N whispered out, as she relived that night in her head one more time. she soon continued, “i was trying to find a pulse as i still held your head in my arms. i could barely hear it, and your skin was on fire. i’d just assumed it was a drug overdose, s-so i called 9-1-1”

the young teenage girl cradled the young drug addict’s head in her arms carefully, immediately feeling the extreme heat radiating from his skin, alarming the girl further. why was he on fire? and why did he completely pass out? Y/N soon came to realization what was possibly happening as soon as she remembered the conversation her and sarah were having the week before. sarah had been complaining to Y/N about her brother’s ‘slight’ drug problem. the drug of his choice however had been cocaine. sarah was always telling her how everytime he’d do a line or two, he’d get extremely paranoid and more aggressive than normal.

“rafe, wake up” the worried girl cried out to the passed out boy. “rafe, what did you take? how much did you take?!” she cried out again, but no answer to avail. she huffed and puffed as she started to cry, trying to find a pulse. she could barely hear his heartbeat through his carotid artery. she could not be responsible for his possible drug overdose. she would not. so, Y/N grabbed her phone from her back pocket of her jeans, and dialed 9-1-1.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” the older lady spoke through the phone.

“hi, um i need an ambulance to the Cameron estate at tannyhill immediately! there’s a possible cocaine drug overdose! please come quick! i-i don’t know how much longer h-he will keep breathing” Y/N weeped into her phone, as she tried to keep her cool.

“ma’am, i need you to calm down. what’s your name?” the older lady asked through the phone to the young distraught girl.

“y-Y/N. what’s yours?” Y/N asked the lady.

“my name is susannah. Y/N i need you to tell me if they’re still breathing.” susannah spoke calmly to the young girl.

“u-uh yeah, it’s super faint though. is he gonna die?!” Y/N started sobbing as she continued to cradle rafe’s head.

“Y/N… do you know what possible drug they could’ve overdosed on? and do you know how much they took? their height or weight?”

“h-he does cocaine i believe. or at least that’s what i’ve been told. he’s uh maybe 6’2ish? i’m not sure. i-i don’t know how much he did though. i-i’m not sure how much he weighs but i do know that hes more of a muscular build if that helps” Y/N stuttered out to susannah, the 9-1-1 dispatcher.

“okay, Y/N stay with me. take deep breaths. help is on the way” susannah continued to speak to Y/N.

“y-you we-were the one who called the a-ambulance?” rafe croaked out to Y/N as he finally cracked. he was a mess. tears streaming down his cheeks as he tried to hold in his sobs, but no longer could. he was so tired of fighting to not show any emotion, so he didn’t fight it anymore. he continued through his sobs, “y-you were m-my savior t-that night?” the young man was wrapping his head around the realization that his newly wedded wife was the angel that saved his life all those years ago when he almost ended it after taking too much of the white drug.

Y/N just softly nodded her head, “i was baby… i was. i know i should’ve told you sooner. but i didn’t, i-i wanted to protect you from knowing the full truth because i know you’re gonna beat yourself up over it. that’s how you are; you will get so mad at yourself for something you’ve done that you slowly start to hurt yourself. i can’t let that happen to you baby” Y/N engulfed him into a hug, as her arms cradled his head into her chest as he wept.

“as soon as the ambulance got there, the cops also arrived. i gave my statement and since i was under eighteen, for legal reasons, they never put my name in that statement. that’s why you never knew and why they never told you. my love…. d-don’t be mad please.” the young woman stuttered out, scared her new husband was mad at her.

rafe lifted his head from her chest, sniffling, “i-i could never be mad at you baby…. never. i-i wanna tell you w-what the doctors told m-my dad and i… can i tell you?” Y/N wiped away rafe’s tears that continuously leaked from his eyes, as she nodded in response, wanting to know everything he knew.

it took rafe a moment to compose himself then began, “when i woke up two days later, obviously i told you that the doctor said that if whoever hadn’t called when they did or even 5 minutes later i’d be dead. i never told you why that was”

“what do you mean my love?” Y/N softly spoke as she looked into rafe’s deep blue eyes, with a look of worry in her own eyes to know the truth.

“i mean… the cocaine i took that night had been laced with small amounts of fentanyl which is why i lost complete consciousness and almost stopped breathing. they had to give me three doses of NARCAN and wait for the best. my dad made sure to keep that part secret, because having all of his business partners know about my cocaine problem was bad enough. he didn’t want anyone to know i’d accidentally done fentanyl as well.” rafe sighed as he remembered the look on his father’s face when he woke up: pure disappointment.

“really rafe? really? cocaine overdose? laced with fentanyl?! how do you think that’s going to make the family look? huh? i’m going to have to pay people off from telling others. this cannot get out” ward went on to his son about how he’d screwed up. it’d only been a day since rafe had woken up from his small coma and ward was already being insensitive to the teenage boys drug problem.

“d-dad i’m sorry. i didn’t know how else to cope with my feelings. it was the only escape i had from feeling like shit. w-when i take it, i feel-i feel almost happy” rafe tried to explain to his father, who in return just scoffed harshly.

“rafe… you need to get your shit together. i’m so sick of you coming up with all these excuses. you keep this shit up and you’re out of the house. got it?” ward sneered back to his only son, who only cowered his head down and nodded in return.

“rafe… you never told me that. why?” Y/N asked sweetly as she continued to gaze into rafe’s blue eyes.

“i’m not proud of that moment in my life. i was embarrassed for so many years. my father paid off people from telling others. he was so disappointed in me. you should’ve seen the look in his eyes the day after i woke up.” rafe sighed softly as he spoke.

“hunny, i’m sorry you went through that. never feel embarrassed about your struggles. i hope you know that no matter what, i will always love you. i will never be disappointed in you. i know that’s different coming from me and not him, but just remember i’ll always be by your side” Y/N thought thoroughly as she spoke every word with love.

“after the overdose incident… and seeing how scared my sisters were, and rose, i wanted so badly to get clean but i couldn’t go to rehab because then word would get out and it’d ruin my father’s deals and business. so i had to do it myself. it took awhile… and it was hard. but i eventually did it. after meeting you, well, from when i thought we met for the first time, you gave me strength to stay clean even when i had the urges” rafe smiled through more tears as he looked down at his wife.

“my love, i’m so proud of you. nothing you went through was easy. i hope you know that. and i hope you know i love you so much and if you ever feel like you have an urge you tell me. got it?” she spoke softly as she still caressed his cheeks looking into his eyes and to his lips.

rafe leaned down, planting his lips onto Y/N, kissing them repeatedly, as did she, and planting one last kiss that was full of love and passion, then pulled away.

“i love you baby. you’re my everything. i promise to come to you if i ever need anything or have an urge. i promise to not hurt you like i did to others i love in the past. i won’t put you through all the shit i put everyone else through all those years ago” rafe smiled again down at Y/N.

“i love you too with all my heart. now prove your love mr cameron” Y/N smirked up at rafe as he chuckled loudly.

“your wish is my command… but are you up for it?” he raised an eyebrow in question with a smirk planted on his face.

“i think i’ve rested enough… just give it to me” she smirked as rafe leaned down placing his lips onto hers harshly, pulling away once more.

“got it mrs cameron. got it. i’m gonna give it to you now” he smirked as he flipped the two over so he was hovering over her again.

“love you” she smiled as there noses briskly touched.

“love you too, my savior. now how about some kids?”

tag list:

@slut4drudy @runningfrom2am @maybankslover

[tayrcse]

If You’re Gonna Lie

✎ warnings: angst, alcohol, cheating

✎ characters: Rafe Cameron, Topper Thornton, Kelce

✎ word count: 773

I poured you a glass of wine and drank it for the second time

Then 7 PM turned to 10

I’m still alone and my lips are red

But not in a good way

You glanced at the clock for the hundredth time that night. 7:00 PM. The dinner you had prepared laid out on the table in front of you, along with two glasses that were once filled with red wine. You reach for the bottle sitting in the middle of the table and pour it in the glass set in front of an empty seat. It isn’t long before you get tired of staring at nothing and, instead, reach for the glass you just filled. You glance at the clock again. 10 PM. You’re still alone in that big empty house that you shared with Rafe. Your lips are stained red but not in the way you want them to be.

And you’re about to walk in that door and say some shit you said before

You’re getting so repetitive

I’m finishing your sentences

But not in a good way

You’re in the middle of cleaning up the uneaten dinner when you hear the front door open. Rafe bursts through the door and spots you immediately.

“I’m so sor—” he starts, but you cut him off.

“‘Sorry.’ I know”

“I got—” he continues.

“‘Caught up with work?’ What’s new?” You cut him off again, not stopping what you’re doing. You hate that you already know what bullshit excuses are about to come out of his mouth. You hate that you know him so well, yet not at all.

I kinda like it when you hurt me

‘Cause you come over saying sorry

So I put up with your lies just to have you for the night, baby

I kinda like it when you hurt me

I start believing all your stories

But I’d rather hear you lie than hear you say goodbye to me

Sitting by the window in your shared bedroom after cleaning up, you let your mind wander to earlier in your relationship with Rafe. Back when he couldn’t be away from you for more than a few hours. Oh, how times have changed.

You wipe the tears rolling down your face when you hear the door creak open.

“(Y/N).” Rafe utters your name softly, carefully. He strides over to where you sit, kneeling in front of you. “Please look at me,” he pleads, reaching for you hands. Reluctantly, you turn your head to look at him. He almost looks genuinely apologetic. But you know better.

“I’m sorry, baby. I lost track of time at work. I didn’t mean to leave you waiting.”

“It’s okay,” you say, knowing that it’s far from that.

“I’ll do better, I promise,” he continues. You just nod, letting him pull you into a hug. You melt into his embrace, pretending not to notice the smell of perfume that lingers on his collar.

You cut me down, you cut me deep

You say so many names in your sleep

Yeah, I can tell you’ve been having fun

I don’t recognize a single one

The fuck you been doing?

You know. You’ve always known. It doesn’t make it hurt any less when he whispers her name in his sleep. The pain in your heart cuts deep. The silent sobs tear from your throat as the tears fall down your face. He’s holding you in his arms, but it’s her who’s in his heart.

You say you’re out with friends, but you’re with her tonight

I checked your location, good fuckin’ try

I don’t say a word, I don’t wanna fight

By loving you, I’m losing me every night

You stare at your phone, numb. Rafe had told you he was going out with Topper and Kelce tonight. You’re not sure what made you check this time, but you pulled out your phone as soon as Rafe walked out the door, immediately going to check his location. You watch as the little blue dot moves away from Figure Eight and towards The Cut. Your heart sinks in your chest and your eyes brim with tears. You knew. You’ve always known. But it still doesn’t hurt any less.

Rafe gets home in the early hours of the morning. You don’t confront him. You don’t say a word. Instead, you let him guide you to your shared bed where he falls asleep with you in his arms. As you fall asleep yourself, you resign to the fact that, by loving him, you’re slowly losing yourself. But you’d rather hear the lies than hear him say goodbye.

[cute-sucker]

EX HUSBAND RAFE HEADCANONS !!

ex-husband!rafe will continuously come to your house telling you it's only to check up on your baby girl

ex-husband!rafe will catch himself calling you sweetheart and honey, and them stop himself before it gets out of hand, iching his head and tilting his head in that endearing way

ex-husband!rafe is in tune with your cycle, and you swear the man knows the exact day to send you chocolate and sweet things to handle your sweet tooth

ex-husband!rafe will sleep on the couch with a sheepish smile, but then will soon later join you in your bed, cradling you in the way that made your breath catch whispering "what's the master bed for then, huh?"

ex-husband!rafe will know everything about your dating life/borderline which may seen creepy but somehow you know it's for your health and somehow you understand it all

ex-husband!rafe will let the goddamn pretentious expensive preschool know that his daughter is worth the world and the last thing they want to do is piss the cameron's off

ex-husband!rafe would find himself desperately cracking an inside in an attempt to reminisce about times before your split

ex-husband!rafe will still introduce you as his wife in business outings, a sharp smile on his face while his hand wanders possessively low at the small part of your back, and sometimes you liked how he took stake of what was his

ex-husband!rafe would always attend school events for their daughter, cheering their daughter at the soccer match, and making decisions over coffee

ex-husband!rafe would have you a new bouquet every single time he comes to your house- almost as if to make up for every single one he didn't give you when the two of you were together

ex-husband!rafe still glances at you in that way where dull sparks travel up into your heart, and you feel the testament of time and the feeling that you would never forget the imprint he has on your mind

ex-husband!rafe always compliments you, and sometimes he kisses your forehead, and when you're crying too hard he bundles you in his arms and tells you everything

ex-husband!rafe watches cheesy romance movies with you, both of your legs entwined, and he watches you during those rom coms all teary eyed and telling him it was the best time for romance

ex-husband!rafe lets you know everything that happens in his life, if it's for a little chat or a ride in his car- and his car? he still drives you everywhere. who knows the types of sickos there are in the world? that's what he says to say as he rants furiously

ex-husband!rafe is still the first emergency contact in your phone, and when you get in trouble - he's running to you, arms open to cradle you in his warmth. he always knows how to handle the situation

ex-husband!rafe starts baking for you, and sometimes he leaves a few cupcakes or muffins every single he comes. at this point you feel the sudden urge to grab his face and kiss him every single time he cheekily leaves more loafs of bread for you

ex-husband!rafe loves your daughter and you to the moon and back, and he calls the two of you, "his girls," and you swear sometimes you feel your heart break when you see the wary look on his face

ex-husband!rafe always avoids the question regarding why you split up, because he sees the way hot tears well up in your eyes, and the way your hands shake underneath the table and the last time a bastard asked that question--rafe almost punched him in the face

ex-husband!rafe curses himself every single day for signing those papers and letting the best goddamn thing he ever had go.

[suncoved]

STOP IT RAFE, YOU'RE BEING MEAN! — RAFE CAMERON

pairing; bestfriend!rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary; rafe has a strict rule that if you ever leave anywhere, you tell him. and when you break that rule, he goes ballistic (bsf!rafe cameron x reader)

warnings ; angst! verbal fighting, angry!rafe, kinda mean rafe, theyre both annoyingly oblivious.. warning this did not turn out how i planned it to be but im also not mad at it, idkkkk

to say you were bored was an understatement.

it was a regular rowdy saturday night in the outerbanks, this nights party being at a random kooks house on the figure eight whose name you couldn't quite remember

you were nursing a forgotten red solo cup of punch in your hand, crowd-watching to pass the time.

it wasn't normal that rafe actually succeeded in convincing you to come to these things. because as much as you liked chatting with spoiled self-absorbed kooks over disgustingly sweet punch, you'd rather stay cuddled up in your fluffy pyjamas and watch sappy romcoms on rafe's couch.

but nevertheless, here you were. dreading every decision you had ever made up to that point as you watched rafe from across the room. a blonde kook girl climbing over him and straddling his hips, sitting on his lap as he smirked.

you knew you really had no right being mad at him because you weren’t dating.

but from the start of your more than 10 year friendship, rafe made it clear that you were and always will be his.

so why didn’t that rule go both ways?

with all the thoughts bouncing around in your head, you failed to hear a certain blonde pouges voice echo around you.

you snapped out of your state, consciousness returning to your mind as a hand was waved repeatedly in your face.

“hey! you there princess?” a smile adorned the boys face, a ratty snapback placed backwards on his blonde hair.

“yeah, jj. right here” you joked, smiling brightly back at him as you brought your cup up to your lips.

“thought we lost you there for a bit princess? what’d you doing standing here all alone?” jj asked, surprised to see your constant kook king shadow nowhere to be seen.

“just people watching, the usual. where’s kie?” you quickly changed the subject, wanting anything to get your mind off of rafe.

“around here somewhere i hope. gonna’ try to round everyone up to we can get outta here. early morning for us cut goers tomorrow, fish to catch and things to steal” you giggled at his joke, earning an even wider grin on his face.

you always liked jj. you thought he was funny, and he was the most loyal person to his friends that you knew. and despite his manic tendencies, you trusted him.

“have a nice night j. drive safe!” you said, watching him wink at you before he disappeared into the crowd.

with jj gone, you were left to your own thoughts agian, which was never a good thing.

you glanced over again at rafe sitting comfortably on the couch on the deck. the light from inside illuminating his face as he leaned over to the table, picking up a small bag of white powder and handing it to a random touran.

you bit your lip as you noticed the same blonde from before clinging to his side, rafe seeming unbothered but making no move to push her off.

god, you couldn’t even imagine how rafe would react if he saw you speaking to jj earlier. so why is it that he can literally let a girl dry hump him in the middle of a party and you shouldn’t care?

you didn’t know why you cared though, because rafe is you best friend, nothing more.

right?

you didn’t have time to think about that right now though, you just needed to get the fuck out of this party right now or you were gonna explode.

an idea clicked in your brain and jj dragged a drunk john b towards the entrance of the house, kiara and pope following quickly behind.

you decided that this was now or never, placing your red solo cup onto a random table as you walked towards them.

“hey jj!” you called out, his head immediately snapping towards you. “you think you could give me a ride home?”

it was nearly 30 minutes later that rafe noticed you were no longer in your spot in corner of the house. business was coming to a halt as he sold his last few grams of cocaine, a heavy wad of cash safely resting in his back pocket.

his eyes scanned the crowd for your face, but you were no where to be seen.

and rafe was starting to freak the fuck out.

he knew you wouldn’t go upstairs to any bedrooms, or go out for an impulse swim in the pool. and he knew most of all that you wouldn’t just leave without telling him, and the notification box in his voice remained empty from your contact.

he ran his hand roughly through his hair, pulling aggressively at the roots and cussing to himself frustrated.

his eyes widened as he saw your friend in the crowd, interrupting what ever useless conversation she was having, because until he knew you were safe, nothing was more important.

he asked rudely where you were, watching as her face morphed into shock that rafe was talking to her. because well, if it’s not plotting on the pouges or selling drugs, rafe doesn’t interact with anyone but you or his friends.

“i-i im not sure. i saw her leave like a bit less than half an hour ago. i thought she told you, she always does”

rafe clenched his jaw, hundreds and thousands of thoughts running through his head. “was she alone?”

“n-no. she was with that jj guy and his friends” your friend murmured, nervous she was ratting you out to the scariest guy in the whole of kildare.

it was safe to say that rafe was fucking pissed.

it took him less than a few seconds to put his keys into the ignition of his jeep and drive illegally fast to your house. you liked to piss him off often when you were in a mood, but never with your safety.

rafe never fucked with your safety, ever.

he murmured venomous cusses to himself and he walked towards your house, the pebbles from your mothers perfect drive way crunching under his feet as he speed to your door.

he made a beeline to the entrance of your home, the white arches welcoming and the doorway dimly lit by the porch lights.

he planted his feet straight on the 'welcome home' door mat, lifting his balled fist up to the door and sending booming knocks to the wood panel.

his knuckles were white as he clenched his fists so hard together there was sure to be crimson-red crescent indents from his fingernails. he was fuming.

the click of the lock releasing from the door snapped him out of his thoughts, the door handle turning and the lobby of the inside of your house quickly coming into view.

he locked eyes with your figure immediately, a pink fluffy towel in your hand as you dried your hair. you were only wearing a pair of long socks and rafes shirt which reached more than halfway down your thighs, your face bare of makeup.

you jumped as you saw the look on his face, an anger prevalent in his stare that you had never seen directed at you. fuck. you were in some deep shit.

you parted your lips to speak, but nothing seemed to come out. for the first time in your life, you were scared of rafe. not that he was going to harm you physically, no, never that.

but you knew how much he cared about you and your safety. you just wished he cared that much about your feelings. you wanted him to see that.

"rafe" you said, your voice coming out as a whisper as you watch the lines on his forehead crease together as thousands of thoughts ran through his head.

"what the fuck were you thinking?" he spat as he pushed you as softly as he could into the house so he could close the door, worried the cold of the night was going to make you shiver.

you didn't have time to answer before he started again, running a hand roughly through his hair as he huffed. "you just left? you fucking left a party at night without even texting me, and you let that fucking pouge drive you home!"

you rolled your eyes at the last statement, this was all about jj? "so that's all you care about? me going home with a boy i've known since third grade who just so happens to live on the cut? you don't give a shit about me, you just care about this stupid kook pouge rivalry!"

"don't say what you know isn't true ma. you know i care about you more than i care about myself." he stated, nearly all the anger in him draining out as he saw your eyes begin to fill with tears. he couldn't handle seeing you cry.

"how do i know you care about me rafe? because you don't seem to show it." you sighed pushing yourself as far away from him as you could, your back pushing up against the wall.

"don't fucking say to me y/n. i've loved you from the moment i met you." you finally stopped looking at the floor, lifting your chin so you made eye contact with him.

"stop it rafe, you're being mean" you whispered, mostly to yourself more than rafe. you couldn't listen to him say how much he loved and cared about you for one more second. not when you still had the picture of him being essentially dry-humped in the middle of a party by a girl you didn't even know.

"ma i love you. you know that. you're my world, my favourite girl. why are you fighting this?" rafe said, trying to hold you wrist in his hand before you quickly pulled it away.

"bec-because you can't just say all this then turn around and have make outs with other girls right in front of me. it-its not fair." you spoke, the tears finally making their way down your cheeks in steady streams.

rafe physically flinched at your statement, his palms getting sweaty and his heart rate increasing into rapid beats. was he actually going to admit his love for you right now, like this?

"what are you saying y/n?" he asked, his voice cracking as his face fell. his mind racing with how many outcomes could come out of this conversation.

"that i love you, you idiot!"