#but rn it's still the moon and stars that give you comfort in this early morning

[noxtivagus]

grrr writing inspo always hits when i shld be asleep 😭😭

[captainjanegay]

Kasia’s Festival of Fondness - Holiday Edition ♥

It's super late on Christmas Eve (which is the most important day of holiday celebrations in Poland, just a fun fact dnsjjs) or early af on Christmas Day, depends how you look at it dhsjsj and I'm kinda in a food coma and having a beer with my brother. I've been thinking about doing this for a while and there's no time to share some love and affection than the Christmas times. So bear with my sappy self for a while, would ya?

This year sucked a lot. It's been the weirdest time all of us had to go through, it was filled with anxiety and worry and isolation. So now, more than ever, I'm so thankful to have so many incredible people in my life. People I've never actually met in my life but who make me so incredibly happy and brighten up every single one of my days. People who live miles and miles away but are somehow one of the closest ones to me. People whom I love deeply and meeting them was the best thing that happened to me. People who are going to get an incredibly sappy shoutout from me right now and will have to read through all my late-night, slightly-drunk but oh-so-sincere rambling. In no particular order, here we go:

@steverrogers

My sweetest Becky. I will forever cherish the day we first talked because it was a start of something beautiful. I love talking to you, you're such an amazing and interesting person, so smart and beautiful inside and out, so funny and supportive. Not one day passes without you making me smile by whatever lovely thing you say to me, by popping up on my dash or by popping up in my thoughts all of sudden (which happens a lot). You're so caring and sweet and 12 out of 10 times I don't know how to handle your sweetness. I love being able to help you with learning polish (and the fact that you're doing this is just so??? I'm in awe, this language is hell dhsjsj). I could talk to you for for hours or just sit in silence with you for hours and I'll look forward to the day you come to kidnap me :') I love you endlessly 💜✨💚

@hbalbat

I've said that already and I'm gonna say this again and again - you're such a ray of sunshine in the life of every person that has you in their life, Helena. You're so sweet and loving and you care so deeply about all your friends here. It's so amazing to see and being on the receiving end of your love and affection?? It's unreal 💚 I love hearing about your day or about your likes, dislikes or struggles. Even when the world feels overwhelming, you are always able to get up and face it and you're so much stronger than you let yourself believe. You're such a talented, artistic soul and I love you endlessly. You brought a smile to my face so many times and you were able to do this even when I was feeling so low and I'll forever be thankful for your bright and wonderful presence in my life. I love you so much, my sweet pumpkin.

@its-tortle

Luisa, my heart 💚 You are amazing and I'm in awe of you. You're such a beautiful force of energy, love and kindness and I'm always so incredibly happy when this force is directed towards me. You're such an incredible writer and every time you compliment my work I'm like "??? You say this is good but have you actually read your own writing?? How is this possible??". Your comments on my works make me cry real tears. And the card you've sent me? It's so sweet and I'll keep it forever, having something that you've actually held and wrote just for me is so great 💚 You have such a huge and loving heart and being your friend is an incredible privilege that I'll be grateful forever. Thank you for being so supportive and caring, you deserve all the good things in life and I love you to the moon and back 🥺💚

@buckybees

My loveliest Bee, you're so incredibly talented and both your fanarts and fanfics always makes me smile so much? You have the greatest ideas and I'm in awe of how creative and amazing your mind is. You are also so sweet and talking to you is always an absolute pleasure. And the fact that you're part polish makes me so happy? As you've once said, it's like we have this special connection and it's so amazing 💚 You're so nice and supportive and my heart always goes !!!! when you pop up in my notifs :') Having you as a friend makes me so happy and I can't wait for your card (even if it comes in July I'm gonna cry the happiest tears, just thinking that you've sent me one makes me so happy :')) 💚 you make me so happy and I love you loads 💚

@anna-wa

My lovely Anna 💚 I'm so so happy you're still puttin up with me even despite my fandom change and ironically (or not) I think we're now talking more than ever? And it makes me so happy? You're such an amazing person and I love hearing your thoughts and opinions. And you're also so caring and amazing. I've said this a milion times already but the day you've pointed out I probably have ADHD was life-changing and it really helped my mental well-being so much 🥺 You're amazing, talented and the best friend one could dream off. I love you so much and I hope only good things happen to you because you deserve all the happiness and softness the universe has to offer 💚 I love you a whole lot 💚✨

@farfromthstars

My sweet, amazing Pia 💚 you're one of my oldest friends on here and even though we don't talk as much as we used to you're in my thoughts a lot. You've always been nothing but amazing to me and I'll forever be in awe of all the kindness and affection I've gotten from you. I've became obsessed with so many things because (or thanks to, it depends dnsjjs) of you and I love how many of our interests align. I'm so proud of you and you're all of my all-time fave authors, you're so talented :') You're like an older sister I always wanted to have dhsjsj 💚 I love you so much and as messy as the 1d fandom can be, I'll forever be grateful that it brought us together :')

@ziallerslouve

Annika, my sweetheart! 💚 We don't talk as much as we used to but you're still one of my favourite people on here. I love that we can go for months without talking or interacting in any way but then we just go back to where we were and just catch up without any awkwardness (and for my weird af communication skills - or lack of thereof - it's the most comforting thing? 🥺). We have so much in common and I love that you always get me so well 💚 You're so great and it's so amazing to have you as a friend 💚

@mysterious-marvel

Milly, my sweetest! Every time I see you on my dash it puts the biggest smile on my face! You're so talented and sweet and I love and cherish every single interaction we have 💚 You're so supportive and incredible and beautiful inside and out, I'm so happy I've joined the marvel fandom and was able to meet you 💚

@metalbvcky

Mandy, you precious soul! 💚 We didn't talk as much but I love you so much? You're so sweet and kind and you always brighten up my dash. And the fact that you decided to organise a secret Santa event to brighten up this hell of a year is just so amazing! You have a huge and beautiful heart and I adore you so much. Also I'm soooo excited to read "Mercury in Retrograde"?? It sounds so incredible and since you're an amazing writer I know I'll love it :')

@sexiestvampirevictim

Lidia, you're an ethereal creature and I still don't know what have I done for you to bless my life with your presence. I love you so much and your continuing support means everything to me 💚 You're wonderful and amazing and nobody gets my uni struggles as well as you do fjsjsj you always make sure that I won't bury myself in a hole of uni-related self-hatred and I really wish things could be better for you but knowing that I'm not alone is really reassuring :') 💚 you're an unstoppable force and you can conquer the world (and you should tbh, it would be such an incredible place if you did) and I love you as much an many there are stars in the sky

@christmascap

Lauren, my love! I'm still in awe that you're following me, you're like the cool, popular mutual I've had and always admired from afar but then you started talking to me and I'm not sure what to do now? You're so talented and your edits and ficlets are so heartbreakingly good. I can't understand why they don't get more attention because there just so beautiful and everyone should see them. And you're such a warm and kind person, you're always so sweet to your followers and I bet you're so much fun to be around irl :') I know that no matter what obstacles the world throws your way, you're able to overcome them all. I love you loads and while I'm still kinda nervous while talking you (I don't even know why!! You're such a sweetheart! 💚) I wanted you to know that I adore you so much 💚💚

@hufflepufsh

Huffy, my little angel! You're also one of my favourite friends on here and even if were basically in completely different fandoms rn, I'm so thankful that you're in my life! We can go without talking for ages and they we just pop up into each others Inbox and declare our undying love and I think it's beautiful?? You're so amazing and we've known each other for so long and you're like a constant in my life and every time I see you on my dash it makes me so happy, even if I have no idea what you're blogging about dhsjsj I lava you and I'll give you everything 💚💚

@lepetitcomte

.

My most wonderful Mum 💚 I love you and I'd die for you. I suck at maintaining conversations but I think about you a lot. And I mean like a lot. I always send good vibes your way and when you feel a random warmness in your heart it's my vibes finally making it across the ocean. You're so incredibly smart and you've always been so supportive and kind and wonderful to me. Even when we don't talk I'm eternally grateful you're a part of my life. You've gotta piece of my heart and being your daughter is an honour I have no idea how I deserved 💚

.

Also a huge shout-out to @hawkeyeandthewintersoldier @ywecanthavenicethingsanymore @hannah-stagram @ceilingventclintbarton @lifeishell @reedstorm @justice-for-plums @samrhodey for being literal angels and brightening my dash with their presence and brightening my life with every single interaction we've ever had :') 💚💚

I'm probably forgetting so many people and I'm so sorry for that. It's been so long since I've started writing it in my notes and my brain power is getting low fjsjsj I love and cherish every single mutual and every single follower I have no matter if we ever interacted or not. You all make me so happy and you make my days so much more bearable. The unbelievable amount of love and support I've gotten from you warms my heart and it's going to make me burst one day :') thank you for putting up with me through this post and through every single day, I'm in awe you still follow this mess of a blog and continue to give me your affection and love. I love you endlessly 💚💚💚

[peakatseven]

🎸 happiness, because this song is my spirit animal lol

And if you'd like you could do these too, I'm super indecisive so I couldn't shortlist oops. You don't have to do them all, I'm just horrible at choosing:

🌕 across our great divide, there is a glorious sunrise

📖 +📜 I'm curious

Congratulations on 700!!

u gave me a reason to go back and review some of what i already wrote for this novel which comes in really handy the day before camp nano starts SOO thank you so much ily <3 i dont have my guitar with me rn so i cant do the cover just yet, im sorry, BUT i can do this:

here’s a lil snippet of my work in progress “Swing By The Lake”. I’m really proud of how this scene turned out even though i put off writing it for the longest time because i hate writing sex scenes. it’s not an actual sex scene, but it pretty clearly leads to that. kindda weird that this is the first thing that you’re gonna read from me because i NEVER write sex scenes but whatever it’s actually pretty significant to the plot because it’s the start of Charlie realizing how much she actually cares for Agustina which is just... *sigh* perfect

things u should probably know before this: charlie is a 17 y/o girl who’s vacationing in this beach town where she met Agustina, a 21 y/o photographer from Argentina who is also on a trip in this beach town. they’ve been hanging out at the cliff of the hill that separates each other’s houses for most of the summer, both at sunrise and sunset because that’s just what people do in the argentine provinces and its also romantic af. it also kindda fits the feeling of your writing prompt so its a win win! i hope you enjoy this :)

~ i’m celebrating reaching 700 followers!! so if u want to, you can send me some of these and ill do my best to create something cool for you! ~

Charlie opened her eyes after what felt like a few seconds. The room was still dark, but she was restless. Looking out the window, the moon shined full and bright over the still ocean. In a split second decision, she grabbed a sweater before heading down to the beach. With her shoes on her hand, she walked along the shore. The water ran up to her calf sometimes, a bit too cold when mixed with the fog that filled her lungs. Charlie wondered whether it was too late or too early to be out by herself, but there was no better hour to sort things out in one’s mind. If it was truly Noemi who had seen Charlie and Agustina together at the beach, why hadn’t she come to tell her parents already? Was she really going to keep the secret for Charlie without her even asking? It was hard to believe. Noemi must be up to something, waiting for the right time and way to say it. Or to gather evidence. But, why? Was there really a chance for Charlie to deny her accusations and get away with it? As all the possible—and impossible—scenarios came to her, Charlie collected pebbles from the shore, her long nightgown served as a great bag to store them momentarily. She came to realize that it was near impossible to be anxious or fearful in such a calm atmosphere. Alone in the beach, under the stars and surrounded by mist, touching the water while collecting stones. Silence only being interrupted by the ocean against her freezing legs. It was as if God tried to comfort her with nature. As she kept walking, there were more and more stones underneath her feet. So much so, that by the time she came to the end of East-Watch beach, it hurt to walk barefoot. Charlie got away from shore and sat on a stone at the bottom of the hill. The same one where she’d had breakfast with Agustina almost 24 hours prior. She put on her sandals and made a split second decision. It almost didn’t come as a surprise when she found Agustina sitting on the cliff, just like the time they were both there for the first time. The foreigner couldn’t see her, but she was most certainly aware of her— the stones bounced on one another as she walked. Charlie sucked in a breath and walked slowly closer to Agustina. She wasn’t sure if what she was doing was right, it was a much wiser decision to just leave and never talk to her again. Deny everything Noemi might claim once they were back home and forget that whole summer even happened. It was a wiser and safer choice. Yet there she was, hand over the lady’s shoulder, almost touching. “Why are you here?” She said without turning around. Her voice was cold, colder than the fog or the ocean. This one froze Charlie inside out. Silence. “If you are not going to say anything, you should just leave.” Charlie breathed in to speak, but her mouth didn't obey. She remembered the last time they were together and how abruptly she'd run away. Agustina had nothing to do with Noemi, she didn’t know how terrifying it was to see her at that beach. And to top it all, Charlie avoided her when she walked, probably the entire way, to The Saltbox Inn just to see her. What was there to say after hurting her in such a way? "I'm sorry doesn't cover it." She finally spoke, sitting down and leaving the stones just behind Agustina. She didn't turn, but her breathing was louder. Faltering. Charlie hadn't noticed from afar, but Agustina went there to cry. "Oh, Agus." She said as she sat down behind her and embraced her into a hug that wasn’t reciprocated. "I'm so sorry." "Why are you here?" Agustina's voice was weak, it broke Charlie to hear such a light-hearted lady like Agustina be in such pain. And it was because of her. "I couldn't sleep." "Why?" Charlie took in a deep breath. "The other day, I thought someone from my town was there and saw us." Charlie said, she rested her forehead against Agustina's hair. She meant to go for a kiss on the cheek, but she was turned away. "So you naturally pushed me and ran off." Agustina scoffed. Charlie was speechless. She hadn't really been thinking at the time. Hell, she barely even remembered what actually happened. "And

then you never came back or called. And then when I walked the entire way to your place… you saw me, and ran away as fast as possible. Again. Of course I'm sorry doesn't cover it." "But I am sorry, Agus, please tell me what can I do to make it better?" Charlie's own voice cracked a little. She felt awful for hurting the girl beside her, she'd done nothing but given her the best summer she'd had in years. "Charlie." Agustina sighted and covered her face with her hands, shaking herself away from Charlie's hug. They were still side by side at the cliff’s end, their legs lightly brushing against one another as they swung with the wind. But to Charlie, not hugging Agustina felt like they were miles apart. She sat back before speaking. "Come here, please." Charlie begged. Agustina lightly turned her head, giving Charlie a chance to catch those slightly swollen green eyes. In an attempt to lighten the situation, she grabbed one stone and threw it over the cliff. It bounced off of a stone and then made it to the calm ocean, which brought a hint of a smile to Agustina’s face. "Please." She offered another stone out to the Latina, who grabbed it and sat back and rested her back on Charlie. Charlie pulled her closer, just enough so she could hold her with both arms around her waist. The sun must have been rising at that moment, because Agustina's face lit up in all the shades of blue. She threw the stone over the cliff, but Charlie didn’t hear whether or not it reached the ocean. She was too hung up on how Agustina’s lips looked especially soft from the side, glistening with what remained of her tears. Charlie brushed her thumb over the lower lip as softly as possible. "I'm sorry." She whispered before going for a quick kiss barely on the side of her mouth. "I'm sorry." She repeated and leaned closer, asking for permission. Agustina slightly turned and that was enough. Unlike any other kiss they had shared before, this one felt like they were both savoring every second. They were both so depraved of the other that every moment, every move was sacred. "I'm sorry." Charlie whispered as she moved from Agustina's lips to her jaw, drying the new tears with her own lips. She kept apologizing in between her approaches. All she wanted was to make Agustina feel better. She did everything she could think off to comfort her. Charlie kept kissing every inch of Agustina’s exposed skin, staring into her eyes before going further— silently asking if it was okay to do so. Charlie let her body take over without giving much thought to her actions. They were soon enough throwing their clothes aside, condemning everything that dared come in between them. There was nothing Charlie wanted— needed— more than to be closer to Agustina. As close as humanly possible. She needed to take the pain she caused away. “Charlie.” Agustina sighed when Charlie reached her stomach. She used a tone Charlie had never heard before. It reminded her of the prayers sung at Church, delicate and desperate with a hint of fear. Charlie froze. “Is this okay?” Agustina let out an audible sight, caressing Charlie’s cheek with her fingers, softly guiding her to look up.  Agustina’s eyes were still a bit red, but they were also a slightly darker shade of green. “I-” She looked for the right words to speak. “You don’t have to do this.” “But I want to.” Charlie answered without missing a beat. She smiled shyly at the older girl, looking down as she soon realized what she had just said and what was about to happen. “But… I don’t know how…” She trailed off, resting her forehead on Agustina’s belly. “It’s okay,” She whispered. “I’ll guide you.”

[vergilboyfriend]

You should do all of them questions and 90 is true

I love you!!!!

1. Favorite instrument?

I work at a music store u can’t just ask me this. When my coworkers play it’s the saxophone or the flute, when the boys in the repair shop are testing repairs and they harmonize with each other or try to outplay one another it’s the bassoon or the trombone or whatever they’re fixing at the moment. When I hear 🎺 give his lesson on Wednesday afternoons it’s the trumpet, and when I think about middle school it’s the clarinet, the flute, the French horn. When I hear the nutcracker pas des deux is the oboe and when I hear edith piaf l’accordeoniste it’s the remarkable human voice. Really my favorite instrument is all of them, it just depends.

2. Favorite fic trope? Mutual pining 🥺

3. Sport you played for the longest amount of time? LMAO I wasn’t a sporty kid but I did ballet

4. Shoe size? 10-11

5. Most recent (good) dream? Uhh I had a dream last night about my coworker 🎹 it wasn’t bad though I can’t really remember what it was about

6. Last person in your DMs? smugg

7. Can you do a handstand? Nooo nooo lmaoo nooooo

8. Unpopular food opinion I don’t like oranges or red meat

9. Conspiracy you believe in? There’s some kind of weird weather dome in my hometown around the military base that makes most storms pass around us

10. Is your hair its natural color/style? Most of it is I dyed the bottom layer of my hair tho so it’s blonde rn

11. state a useless fact all that’s coming to mind is outright lies rn hold on. The inventor of pringles is buried in a pringles can that’s so fucking nasty omg

12. most interesting gossip you’ve heard? Idk I don’t really care for gossip uhhhh have u heard tho rin dippindogs is a huge gay hah she uhh she like men AND women lmao gaaay gaaaay

13. Middle name? Carolyn

14. Sexuality? Bisexual

15. Amount of sleep you got last night? Idk actually I think like 9-10 hrs tho I slept in until 11

16. Opinion on ice cream cake? Tasty!!!

17. Opinion on (cup)cake frosting? It’s depends buttercream is usually too sweet for me in large amounts so I prefer whipped cream frosting

18. Last board game you played? Idk??? We played hunt a killer tho last Thursday me n my family I guess that counts kinda

19. Project you want to start? I need ideas first baby

20. Project you’re working on right now? HAHAHAHAHAHA

21. TV show you’re watching? nothing rn I just rewatch bojack a lot if I watch anything

22. Last movie you watched? Lego batman I think

23. Ever left anon hate? Not legit hate

24. Ever left anon love? Yes all the time. Sometimes to strangers it’s my favorite thing to do

25. Best Disney movie? The princess and the frog

26. Best Pixar movie? Soul or Up I can’t decide

27. Best Star Wars? Um. Empire strikes back

28. Last thing you consumed? Fuit gumy

29. NoTP? Idk I don’t really hate ships unless they’re gross like pedophilic gross

30. story behind your (nick)name? When I was a fetus my great grandfather had a dream that my name should be Carolyn Marie but my parents were huge dweebs so they named me Marina after the actress of Deanna Troi in Star Trek. Idk about my nickname ive just always been Rina/Rin as long as I can remember

31. ice cream order? Lately it’s lemon sorbetto I know it’s SO high in sugar but I love it

32. describe your blog in <5 words I love you

33. how many blogs do you follow? 436

34. Describe your voice it depends usually I sound like a sick child but my customer service voice is really pleasant

35. Describe your smile it’s cute :)

36. What is the place you live known for? LMAOOO LMAO we have a military base nearby and like. I could go on abt that one but also like. There’s a lot of gang violence and a lot of the other consequences of poverty. People from the cities around us see us as “””ghetto””” or violent but it’s just. It’s more than that it’s always more than that. And idk what else there’s nothing really particularly special about this town except that we’re all here and not anywhere else

37. What is the place you’re originally from known for? (if they’re different)

38. pronouns? she/any idc

39. Languages you speak? English

40. first friend you made through tumblr? Idk. I probably don’t talk to them anymore :(

41. Person on tumblr you know in real life? my brother

42. First dog breed you think of shih tzu I have 2 next to me rn

43. room wall color? Purble!!!! The paint color is called grape juice that’s why I picked it!!!

44. Song that’s stuck in your head right now? It’s tricky to rock a rhyme to rock a rhyme that’s right on time it’s trickyyyyy

45. Favorite number? 5, 34

46. Color you associate with your name? Red

47. Favorite jolly rancher flavor?watermelon

48. Pets? 2 dogs rocket and groot and 4 cats loki danni who r from the same litter and we raised from kittens, miss kitty who we adopted from a shelter after my boy blue moon passed away and ben (his real name is Kylo Ren thanks to my mom but I refuse to call him that) he is my little baby and he has 7 toes on his front paws

49. Collections? Hot wheels

50. Character outside of your fandom you’d marry? Girl what lmaooo idk

51. Character outside of your fandom you’d kill? That’s mean :(

52. Have you met any celebrities? NO thank god id have to kill on sight

53. Favorite time period in history? Itslian Renaissance & Romantic Era

54. What time is it right now? 2:35 am oops

55. History or future? Future but like . A good one. Or prehistory

56. Space or ocean? Space

57. Fears? Abandonment

58. Command + v and post. It’s this list of questions u don’t want that

59. Favorite season? Spring

60. Describe your aesthetic. Messy just a mess, neon and old buildings and things, antiques, countryside if there weren’t so many trump pence flags still lmaoo give uppp give up, nature just al of nature and space and places humans can’t touch and places they used to touch but can’t anymore

61. MBTI? Infp but I haven’t taken it in a few years

62. What’s your relationship with your family like? Normal.

63. “Biggest fan” in your tumblr activity? I’m in mobile hold on acc to tumblr it’s akky

64. Favorite musical? Sweeney todd

65. Comfort book? Idk how to read 💔💔💔 wuthering heights tho

66. Comfort movie? Whisper of the heart

67. OTP? Girl idk

68. BroTP? Joey and Tristan yugioh

69. AUs or canon compliant? Canon ig idk

70. Opinion on the person who’s sending the ask? It’s an anon!! But I love them

71. FMK + 3 characters anon didnt leave any characters and I was going to say something very bad but I won’t

72. Dream date? I’ve wanted to do this for a while but ideally it would be after we’d been together a while maybe even engaged or whatever, I wanna go to like a Home Depot or a furniture store and pretend to be married and looking for house paints and furniture and plan what our home is going to look like I wanna do that so bad. But idk for a first/early relationship date i really want to go to the zilker botanical garden it’s one of my favorite places, we could also go to the natural gardener which is a plant nursery in Austin I really love it there too and it’s not that far from zilker.

73. Relationship status? Single

74. Ever dyed your hair? Do you plan to? Yes and perhaps. Maybe

75. Dream job/career? Idk anymore I used to have big girl goals and I haven’t had any in a while. But when I was younger I wanted to be a game warden

76. Favorite band/singer? Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

77. Something that makes you soft/that you find adorable? My cats

78. The first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Buy a house

79. Are you superstitious? Yes

80. Character you project onto? Shizuku tsukishima

81. Fictional character you’ve had a crush on? Vergil devil may cry. Forever husband

82. Celebrity crush? LMAO

83. Person on here you’d date? my mutuals

84. Person on here you’d marry? 🥺 my mutuals

85. Person on here you’d throw into the void? Smugg

86. Other social media you have? I’ve got a photography insta that I barely use and a Twitter that’s just nintendo switch screenies that’s it

87. Finish the sentence: Due to personal reasons, ___________i will be passing away

88. Bad habit? I find it rlly hard to say no or like to say when and why I’m upset I don’t feel like for the latter I don’t feel like I should bring something that’s upsetting me up because I know I’ll get over it on my own and I don’t really trust myself to be upset about rational things. Idk I’m working on it

89. Three things you like about yourself? I’m hot, I’m kind, I’m resilient

90. Ily and you deserve the world I love you!!!!! YOU deserve it too!!!

[gothytrash]

rules: tag people you want to get to know better!!!

tagged by: @transseven (kinda im just bored and wanna do it)

your name and what you would’ve named yourself: finn...and i named myself that:))) i considered kalen and max also but finn felt right. might fuck around n change it again tbh

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): virgo sun/libra moon/aries rising

when did you join tumblr and why: 2012 maybe?? i was a ~hipster aesthetic blog~ until i became the mess i am today

top 5 fandoms: i dont consider myself really IN any fandoms but,,,mortal kombat, overwatch, polygon, animal crossing, and unus annus are things im really into rn!!

top 5 films: i really dont watch movies much um....jawbreaker, my neighbor totoro, howl's moving castle, spirited away, clueless, pretty much anything ghibli or disgustingly 90's

go-to song when you want to feel something: i have a playlist that is all megan thee stallion for when im extra mentally ill and need to feel like a bad bitch again

what’s your religion or faith if you have one: i don't feel strongly about any really?? i used to relate to wicca when i was younger until i realized a lot of it is stolen closed practices and cultural appropriation and it just didnt feel...right i guess?? im actually a very spiritual person in private though u might not guess it from the everything about me!! im just still not sure if there is a religion i would feel totally comfortable in, although buddhism has always intrigued me!!

a song that makes you feel seen: dog teeth by nicole dollanganger ... teen idle by marina ... vienna by billy joel ...

if you could have any career: i'd love to perform, idk what but i just wanna create for people!!! even as a youtuber, a streamer, or more original performing like in a band or doing drag i just..love to be seen and make people happy:)))

do you have a type: um not really??? hot alt queers to the front of course, and i prefer someone else to be able to take the lead in most things, but that rarely factors into my attraction. if u cute u cute and i will kiss u

what does my heart/soul yearn for: to feel cared for:))) to be a first choice:))) independence:)))

if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone: blunt, compassionate, easygoing, impulsive, ditzy

favorite subjects in school: music, english, and forensics

where does your soul feel the most at home: anywhere there is fresh air and some peace and quiet

top 5 fictional characters: mileena, yuri, dva, kuromi, howl

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: FUCK um. many moments in the promised neverland i cant even pick one so just the show as a whole....the abortion scene in sex education......and also all of your lie in april just so much of it

earth, the sun, the moon or the stars: the stars

favorite kind of weather: that time in either fall or spring when its perfect sweater weather, the sun is shining but the breeze is cool enough that u don't sweat at all, and it stays that way until the sun goes down:') and everything smells so nice....it's different for spring and fall but they both smell lovely

top 3 kins: mileena, yuri, and kuromi

favorite medium of art: to do? graphite or digital bc im bad and must erase a lot! to enjoy? all of it literally all art makes my heart go whoosh

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: ambivert

favorite literary quote: i had to search so hard for this bc i couldnt remember it all but my fave book in my early teens was across the universe by beth revis and i always really liked this quote idk why: " I stare at the stars... And even though there are so many and they look so close together, I know they are light years apart. The glitter in the sky looks as if I could scoop it all up in my hands and let the stars swirl and touch one another, but they are so distant, so very far apart, that they cannot feel the warmth of each other, even though they are made of burning. This is the secret of the stars, I tell myself. In the end, we are alone. No matter how close you seem, no one else can touch you."

some of your favorite books: i dont read as much as i used to so most of the books i loved are young adult books but: the crank series by ellen hopkins, the painter from shanghai by jennifer cody epstein, every day by david levithan, i am the messenger by marcus zusak

if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?: i want to travel as much as possible, but i think i'll always wanna come home to canada. maybe not where i live now, but canada just feels the most like home and id love to live somewhere beautiful here

if you could live in any time in history when would it be?: i mean i guess my gay ass is in the most ideal timeline right now, but bigotry and such out of the picture i would have fucked w the 70s so hard....big hair big shoes and just not giving a fuck??? gimme

if you could play any instrument masterfully what would it be?: guitar or piano are obvious choices but tbh id be an iconic saxophone player

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you have a connection to?: artemis and apollo were the first deities i was drawn to when i started my craft and figuring out religion and such, but recently i have been very drawn to persephone and dionysus??

lastly, favorite recent selfie from your camera roll: (i never take selfies this is the most up to date pic i have and its bad but oh well)

i'm not gonna tag anyone bc i dont have friends but pls do it if u wanna!! i wanna know yall better!!!

[iced-coffee-and-imagines]

That last Felix ask was ADORABLE! Poor little Felix... Let Rodrigue tell us more about you! XD reading that made me want to request something myself, would you be willing to write something about father and son time with Rodrigue and Felix? Preferably before Glenn's death(unless they're comforting each other) because I honestly can't take much drama rn, only fluff! Anyways, have fun and thanks in advance! 🌸

Thank you, Anon! Glad you enjoyed, and thank you for requesting! You can definitely have some soft father/son(s) bonding with the Fraldarius gents!

~Latte ❤

((also this got real long oop-))

((also slight (as in, male or female) spoiler warning on what Fraldarius looks like–no backstory though–, and slight headcanon on Glenn’s appearance))

Felix, Rodrigue, and Glenn Fraldarius - Winter Scouting

The winter was always harsh in northern Faerghus, often blanketing the forested mountains in several inches of snow for months at a time and rarely melting before Harpstring Moon

This year was no different, the chill of Guardian Moon settling deep into the land and its residents

Felix trotted into the stableyard, aqua coat fastened up to his chin; his father and brother stood with their horses fully tacked, talking as they waited for the youngest Fraldarius

The boy caught his breath once he slowed, having ran from the top floor of the manor to the yard; the frigid air nipped at his nose and throat

Rodrigue chuckled, ruffling his smaller son’s navy hair; Glenn simply shook his head, the small upward quirk of his lip easily missable

The duke checked his white mare’s girth once more, addressing his children, “Are you boys ready? We’d best leave soon, if we’re to return by nightfall”

The elder brother nodded, examining his dark bay stallion’s equipment once more; satisfied, he swung easily into the saddle

Felix nodded excitedly, shifting his weight from foot to foot; it was his first time surveying their territory with his family

Once mounted, his father reached down and helped Felix onto the mare’s back, setting the small boy in front of him in the saddle

Clucking to the beast, the trio headed into the evergreen forest

——–

The horses’ hooves beat softly against the snow-covered earth, breaths and the occasional snort puffing warm in the frigid air

Felix was enthralled, examining every inch of the changed landscape of his home with wide, amber eyes

Glenn rode beside them, he and their father occasionally striking conversation about the latest affairs of the royal family, memories of battle, or tales of the Fraldarius’ ancestors

The youngest’s eyes widened, a sharp sound of surprise left him before Glenn covered his brother’s mouth with his hand, the two horses halting at their riders’ commands; before them stood a great elk stag, his antlers large, stance proud; it was a creature Felix had only ever seen mounted in the family’s Great Hall

The elk watched them, wary, but not afraid; when he looked away, Glenn began to take his bow

Rodrigue placed a hand on his eldest son’s wrist, his blue eyes on the animal before glancing to his father; “Let him go”

With a smile, the duke’s eyes flicked down to Felix, young face still filled with awe; Glenn relaxed, slowly taking his reins again

The elk gradually wandered away; once he was gone, Rodrigue tapped his mare’s sides, signaling her forward, Glenn’s stallion following

The older man spoke, “One of the stags of Fraldarius; beautiful creatures, aren’t they?” He tapped his saddlemate’s leg

The navy-haired boy nodded enthusiastically, midnight strands falling into his face; he huffed them away

Rodrigue brushed them back, chuckling; he turned his head to the elder brother, “We’ll head to the ridge, examine the land from there, then head back”

Glenn nodded curtly; addressing his brother, “Y’know, it’s said that Fraldarius loved those elk; she would fly alongside herds of them as they ran through fields in the summer. Because of her adoration, they grew large and powerful, still now rarely fearful of those who bear her bloodline”

Felix’s large, amber eyes gazed at the young man, awed by the short legend; Glenn smirked, to anyone else it would appear cocky, but his brother knew better: that was just the Fraldarius heir’s way

——–

The remainder of the ride was silent, save for small bouts of conversation among the three

They had allowed the horses rest at the ridge, dismounting and giving Felix his first opportunity to overlook the entirety of the Fraldarius Dukedom, with glimpses of Gautier and Itha territories to the north, Fhirdiad and Blaiddyd to the southwest, and Conand and Galatea to the south

The sight was breathtaking to the youngest, gaze trailing over the silver-coated landscape, near shimmering in the rich light of early evening

Rodrigue gave him time to admire the spectacle, discussing politics and the knighthood with Glenn in the meantime

——–

They soon remounted, however, the return ride quiet save for Felix’s occasional questions about something he had seen

The chill of evening had begun to seep through the trio’s coats by the time they returned to the manor, the earliest of stars beginning to shine in the eastern sky

Rodrigue and Glenn handed their horses off to waiting stablehands, taking off their heavy outerwear once they stepped inside; Felix was long since there, sitting by the roaring fireplace in the Solar room, a thick, wool blanket wrapped around him

On the announcement of supper in the Great Hall, the older man turned to his elder son, patting the young man on the shoulder, “Go on; I’ll get your brother”

Glenn nodded, glancing at the small bundle once more before turning on his heel and leaving

Rodrigue walked easily toward Felix, boots softly thudding against the dark cedar floor

He chuckled as he knelt to untangle the mess of blankets and child on the floor, again sweeping the boy’s hair out of his face; it never did want to stay in place

His blue eyes met Felix’s copper, the latter tilting his head back to look at his father; Felix grinned, a small laugh bubbling in his throat

His grin broadened as his father picked him up, small arms wrapping around the duke’s neck

Rodrigue’s voice was playful, not holding a hint of the gravity he so often kept, “Did you enjoy yourself today?”

The younger son nodded enthusiastically, “When can we go again?”

The blue-eyed man laughed, “At least not for another week, maybe two; a large storm is coming, and it would be unwise to travel before the ice melted”

Felix huffed; a week was more than his patience would have liked, but at least he had something to look forward to

[leosbones]

get 2 know me meme

tagged by @zhar-ptitsa what a kind person to give me something to ramble about while quarantined (only on the weekends cause i still gotta work. yay) (also i’m a little tipsy thisll be fun)

birthday: august 12! right before school starts, worst time for a birthday. don’t get pregnant in early december please. 

zodiac: LEO! but pisces moon. so pay attention to me, but don’t say anything mean ever or ill start like , bawling or something else mortifying

last song listened to: "no plan” by hozier. really feeling the nihilism rn, y’know

hobbies: sports? is a hobby. I love going to ren faires too, and rambling about movies and televsion shows no one cares about

last movie you watched: probably willow, which i watched with my dad cause he had Nostalgia about it and i was prepared to hate it cause, yknow, being forced to watch something with my dad but OH MY GOD what an amazing movie. i haven’t been watching many movies lately since sports consumed my soul.

dream job: i don’t want a job i want to have leisure time to pick up hobbies and make the world a better place and be independently wealthy. since im not, being a journalist would be amazing. a sports journalist? maybe? but also Politics. Hm. much to think about. 

meaning behind url: hm. star trek beyond. space base called yorktown. also hamilton.

top 4 ships: i haven’t been reading much fanfic lately? but the Classiques, sam/jack from stargate, eliot/hardison/parker from leverage, bones/kirk from star trek, uhhh .. .ethan/benji from mission impossible? i’m really not reading much fanfic lately 

reading: i’m in need of some Comfort Food lately in the reading deparment, so im rereading the artemis fowl series. I’m on book two, The Arctic Incident. LOVE evil teen Arty and his Buff Bodyguard Butler. 

what food are you craving right now: really really want some chicken wings. ive been vegetarian just about a year now but i really really want chicken wings. its a leftover sense memory from college, i think? get drunk, eat chicken.  

tagging: hm youre under no means required to do this obviously but @supergeekytoon, @ruthc93, and i can’t remember anymore of the Squads urls rn but YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE maybe ruth can at you idk 

[5sosspicedrosey]

hey! i was wondering if i could get a ship?? im 5’4 im blonde w graysish blue eyes, im pretty skinny but im still kinda curvy if that makes sense lol??? i have a german Shepherd who i love to deathhhh i rly like to write poetry and do collage art stuff (i usually put them in zines) im super into fashion and wanna go to an art school, i aspire to dress like halsey but it probably just looks sloppy lol i looove concerts, especially smaller concerts!! my fav tv show rn is euphoria!

k girl, Calum Hood for you!

p.s I fuckin love zines! that is sooo cool that you make them!

here we go:

-literally the first thing that popped into my head was that Calum looks up to you so much. ya know how he hasn't really had a girlfriend for a while? it means so much that he’s with you. you are his angel, his sun, his moon, the reason he wakes up in the morning.

-when I say he looks up to you, I really mean it. the fact that you makes zines blows his mind! 

-he calls you his artist.

-also, ‘artsy fartsy,’ because he’s super playful around you.

-he totally wants to go to the Met Gala with you.

-you help him with his style!

-you pick out his outfits for shows!

-you make him feel confident and good about himself.

-he adores reading your creations. he loves them because you created them, they’re purely original, they’re your thoughts. through your poetry, he understands you better.

-you totally got him into making collages!

-and poetry, I feel like he’s really poetic.

-you two are really heartfelt.

-you two spend hours sitting on the floor of the living room, cutting out pictures from magazines and drawing, creating them into your own collages.

-then you put them on the walls.

-he says that he could stare into your eyes all day. they remind him of the ocean on an overcast day.

-by the way, he loves walking with you along the ocean shore on an overcast day. you two are all cuddled up in his hoodies, fingers intertwined.

-I feel like he loves to braid your hair.

-you two could talk for hours, never running out of conversation. but, you could also sit in comfortable silence. 

-he loves learning more about you. not just what your favourite colour is, but about the little, lesser-known things: the time you were the star of the elementary school play, that time you talked about pancakes in your sleep... etc. 

-HE! IS! SO! SUPPORTIVE!

-if you have an art show or a poetry reading, he will always be there. if he has to cancel previous plans, then so be it, when you are doing what you love he never wants to miss it.

-he’s really clingy.

-he calls you ‘doll.’

-he loves your style. whenever you say you look sloppy he immediately denies it. he hates when you put yourself down.

-you two love to go thrifting and to art sales.

-k, I imagine it being a summer day in L.A, approaching the sunset, orange and pink waves in the sky and you two dancing and singing your hearts out at a small outdoor concert.

-him letting you sit on his shoulders when you can’t see!

-he loves when you play with his hair.

-power suits for both of you.

-getting tattoos together!

-making cocktails for each other to try no matter how bad they are.

-he is gonna make sure you go to an art school, no buts. he is even more determined than you because he just wants you to be as happy as possible.

-HE LOVES YOUR DOG

-duke and your dog = best friends

-you two going on early morning walks as the sun rises with your pups

-he loves your dog like it’s his son. he insists that it is.

-watching Euphoria together and him getting ABSOLUTELY HOOKED.

- “Babeee, one more episode?” “Cal, we just watched the last episode of the season.” “WHAT!??!! NO I NEED MORE! GIVE ME MORE!”

-I feel like you two are soft but at the same time you’re that couple who arrives to a party on a motorcycle wearing leather jackets, boots and chains. 

-he would go CRAZY when you walk out of your room to go to the party, standing in the doorway with red lips, tight pants, like thigh-high leather boots, a leather jacket and his chains!!!!

-he almost doesn't want you to leave the house because he wants to fuck you so bad.

-he keep his hands on you ALL NIGHT.

-you tease him ALL NIGHT.

-he gets jealous hella easily.

-totally overprotective.

-but he backs off when he reminds himself that you are a badass and can be independent.

-he’s really respectful and knows his boundaries.

-so, the night of the party, once you two get home he fucking destroys you (in the good way).

-DIRTY TALK ALL THE WAY!

-he knows not to mess with you. you may be shorter than him but you can destroy him in the good way too. 

-he likes to be dom, but when he’s sub... WOW he loves it. 

-he loves when you wear lingerie.

-strip teases... ;)

-you two are a total power couple!

I hope you like it!

- Winnie <3

[159potterhead]

I hope it boosted serotonin <3<3 Everytime you say hibernation I assume you have a cave like something to hide and go to sleep where you can cut yourself off from the world. I hope your appointment goes well ✨✨ (that's good! take your time off)

Let me think about more rules🤔🤔 okay, so, we can start with basics, you know there's this thing, I hope you've heard about it; bros before hoes, so I'm thinking for clowns it should be something like this but I can't settle on one thing so I'll put here all the options and you can help me out or any of your followers who's reading this and has a better idea can also chime in.

Clowns before towns (we can use hometown and clown before gown but this doesn't makes sense or Clown before Crown. Idk these all rhymes you can also put any other word which makes sense in the sentence)

No. I love you more!!💖✨💕😘

I need to think about this more, it's like a deep question and idk the type of answer you're looking but for but for now I'll answer with this thing my mind went straight to when I read the question; I like looking at the moon, it gives me this whole different kind of feelings yk and I think people should appreciate it more. I have read this quote long long back somewhere and it's still stuck with me, now, I don't remember the exact words but it goes like this; if you ever feel lonely just look up at the moon because someone out there in the world is also staring at the moon at exactly the same time.(That feels a little comforting to me and I wish more people knew that so I'm sharing this here)

(This quote is something different which boosts my thought process more and call me sappy but everytime I look at the moon I get lost thinking if the theory of multiverse is ture than there are plenty of galaxies out there and someone in that galaxy on some random planet might also be staring at the sky and they might be looking at me so that also amazes me a lot.) I would also love to know your take on this question. It's pretty great question where do you even find these??

It's been ages since I watched sunrise (it's been 6 years I think🤔) I can only imagine how beautiful it was. You describing the sunrise reminds of this scene in my fic where Dean and Cas are sitting on the patio early morning and watching sunrise. (Oh! God! This song! I searched your lyrics on Google to find the name and then I was listening to it on Spotify and I was like I've heard this before. Then I went on yt and I found out it was played in the office. Thanks again for the song😍😍)

🎶So she took her love for to gaze a while upon the fields of barley in his arms she fell as her hair came down among the fields of gold🎶

it did<3<3 ahah, assuming the way I dig myself way too deep in my duvet ig it’s safe to say I do live in a cave😂 thankss it did!! (and you too btw. if you’re busy or if you ever dont feel like sending something or you don’t have the energy to do so, that is absolutely okay. just shoot me a quick ask to lmk so I don’t go worrying)

ahahah I loooove this!! let’s go😆

yooo clowns before crowns is epic!!

no me😚💞✨💖💘

woah babe, is it possible I love you more? omg that is so true!! I love that so much🥺 maybe I can go look at the moon rn and you go do it too, then we’ll meet<3 i’ll be sure to lay with you on our rooftop every night and you tell me all about your friend, the moon. yk, this is another soulmate bingo point, I’m obsessed with the stars. I could literally sit there for hourssss just admiring the nightsky and making out constellations. and you love the brightest object in the nightsky. the moon and the stars... how poetic of us. and I agreeee, it is comforting yeahhh❤️✨

(listen, I will call you sappy so affectionately cause we are indeed two halves of a whole sap<3 plus the more sappy and deeply sentimental you get when you talk, the more I find you cute, so keep going😂💞 woooooow wifey, your thoughts themselves are from another galaxy!! I am so in love with you and the way you perceive the world, pls marry me. these really are things that people should appreciate more, and i’m so glad they amaze and fascinate you😚) aha Idk how I came up with them, I guess I am your other sappy half;) if you’ve got more questions like these, shoot. hmm, for me, honestly I would second your answer. sure there are sooo many things that are not really appreciated nor romanticized much, and the moon and stars are some of them. one thing is photos and videos. nowadays everything is being recorded. and what I honestly don’t like is that when I ask my friends to take a pic for example, they always pull out snapchat and put filters and take forever to pose and then deleting it and doing it over and over again (I don’t have it for this reason), all for a simple pic to preserve this memory. I see that capturing raw spontaneous moments is becoming such a rarity, and it’s kinda bad cause for example you get like ten photos and two videos of you and your friends hanging out when you could’ve just gotten one photo to cherish the memory. I think this is a reason why I absolutely love releasing the shutter and hearing the click of instant cameras. cause that picture has been taken and no matter how it turns out, there’s nothing you can do about it. and almost always there is someone in the pic that wasn’t ready, so this way it turns out even more spontaneous. idk, I understand there are so many people who’d fully disagree with me, and I get that.

WOAH SIX YEARS???? babe get ready I’m picking you up for a therapy session with the morning sky. it was really beautiful, not as beautiful as you though;) omg you’re kidding!!! I love😆 see, we really are dean and cas👀 (it was? awesome!!! it’s a really great song ikr😍! anytime my beloved🥰)

🎶if I say a cliche, it's cause I mean it. we can't walk away, we gotta get in between it. and when you wake up we'll grow together, so don't you give up🎶💕

[smalleststress]

all the moon related q's?? 🌜🌜🌜

Ask and ye shall receive, small warning I get pretty sappy.

Cosmos: What’s one thing you wish you could say to someone you are no longer friends with?

Hm, that’s a tough since I’m on good terms with the majority of people I’m not close with anymore so there isn’t much to say. Probably “I hope you are doing well, even if it’s without me.” 

Galaxies: What Are Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die?

Take a month or so and just take pictures of places I mentally use as markers/associate strong memories with. Finish writing a novel-esk story for once. This is sappy but, have a small gay wedding.

Waxing: What Is Your Proudest Accomplishment?

Oh jeez, proudest? So far, becoming a better person and letting go of things that were keeping me from living my life.

Waning: What Is Your Biggest Regret?

Dating a guy honestly,,, If we are talking my whole life? Probably a mix between letting nostalgia keep me from progress/change and being an aggressive/hurtful person when I was a kid. It’s a wonder I had any friends back then really.

Full Moon: What Type Of Person Do You Hope To Be?

I’d like to be the type of person that someone can go to for comfort and vent, I’m already called the mom friend so I’m half way there.

Contemplation: If You Could Wake Up One Morning And Everything In Your Life Was Perfect, What Would That Look Like?

Most likely the same, except no one (Since the question is in my life, I guess this only really affects those who are in it) that I know would have monetary issues, health issues, and any thing they personally desire is available readily. In short, happier for others I suppose. I’m doing pretty okay rn so I’d look outwardly to make it perfect. 

Night Light: Who/What Makes You Feel Safe?

Obvious answer is my girlfriend, she is someone I can always count on and can speak my mind to, we both have bad impulse control (I chugged a chocolate syrup bottle, she likes to go to abandoned buildings) but each others safety always comes first. A thing that makes me feel safe is fluffy blankets, the kind you would get as a kid with a pair of pajamas. I’m a very cuddly person and to have something warm surround me instantly helps me feel safe.

Ponder: What Do You Want To Do With The Rest Of Your Life?

I’m ( if I pass the test and such) going into the National Guard, so I imagine that will be a good chunk, afterwords my goal is to be a sort of therapist/counselor and then retire to become a gay hermit with a big dog in a small house/apartment.

Sunset: Who Is Someone You Thought Would Be In Your Life Forever, But You No Longer Talk To?

That’s a tough one, since I don’t think I’ve ever thought anyone would be in my life forever till within the recent years. I really can’t think of anyone, my grandfather when I was younger maybe?

Midnight: Are You A Different Person Late At Night Than In The Early Morning?

Somewhat, I’m more relaxed and thoughtful late at night but I tend to overthink things more, definitely more cuddly. Early morning I’m usually tired and have a short temper, not a good time for me. 

Candle Light: Are You An Indecisive Person?

If this is any sort of insight, my girlfriend has dubbed me the indecisive one in the relationship (which is true). I tend to mull over life decisions for months at a time, years even, if I’m given the time to. I’m a good guesser so I am not stressed if I have to make a quick decisions but if it holds any sort of significant weight, I will probably take my time in choosing.  

Reflection: Have You Ever Changed Something You Liked About Yourself To Satisfy Someone Else?

Not that I can remember. I’ve luckily always faked or had the confidence in myself to know that those I’d have to change my self for to make them happy are not people I care to be around. I like mostly everything about myself, and changing my entire self for someone isn’t something I’d consider an option, more likely to just not be around/with that person. Being a lone wolf in social situations can suck sometimes, but if I’m not comfortable with myself at the end of the day then I can’t be happy.

Sweet Dreams: Are You Happy?

Most of the time, yes. I have my ups and downs like everyone else but I’m a generally positive person. I’ve changed a lot of things about my self and the way I think/act, all of them have help me become a happier&better version of the person I used to be. Introspection, my dude, it’s hella helpful.

Nightmare: What Are You Most Afraid Of?

Being put somewhere high where I have no control or support, oddly specific, but that shit isn’t thrilling to me. Broadly, I fear for my loved ones safety, I am a very protective person towards the people I care about and wouldn’t hesitate to take a bullet for any of them. Them being put in any kind of dangerous peril instantly causes me to panic and have adrenaline flood my system.

Constellations: Who Is Someone You Could Talk To For Hours And Never Stop?

You probably already guessed it but, my girlfriend. Our dates are filled with us talking to one another and we have talked about everything from serious topics to me calling her a cryptid, I never get bored of our conversations.

Reminder: Who Is Someone You Will Never Forget?

Just one? I’ll dig real far back for this one then. There was this girl named Darya at my middle school in 6th grade that was a literal angel to me in a time where I had nearly zero friends (all my friends from elementary were in a separate part of the school). Darya had iron strained hair she put into ponytails, and warm brown eyes with dark skin (my memory isn’t too clear so I’m not sure exactly her appearance but I think this is right).

 She was so kind to me and one day told me she had to leave to go to her father’s house, I was devastated to lose a friend like her. That day she gave me drawings she made that said “You Can Change The World” and coloring book pages she colored in, along with two art stickers she had been saving. She never returned to school after that day and I didn’t have a phone or number to try to contact her with. I still have all the items she gave to me, and I hope she is doing well. 

11-11: What’s Something You Want, But Feel Like You Will Never Have?

Feel like I will never have? Probably complete serenity for life, I relax for a while but eventually I am anxious once again because of various things that I have to live with so, most likely I will never have it. It’s fine though, honestly. I’m quite happy the way I am.

Shooting Star: Who Is Someone You Trust To Help You Make The Right Decisions?

I’ll pick someone other then the people around me, since it’s multiple people I really trust to help me. Myself, or my gut feeling to be more specific. I don’t have an uncanny ability to choose the right path, but I would say I do better then just a blind guess. I have bad impulse control at moments, but I am indecisive with what matters and I give myself time to figure out what is best.

Earth: Where Do You Feel Most At Home?

My physical home is comforting, don’t get me wrong, but I feel most at home with her. Which is surprising to no one, considering how much I talk about my girlfriend. Being around her turns any place into somewhere I could call home, I was always homesick till I met her. 

Soothe: What’s One Thing that Always Makes You Feel Better When You’re Upset?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9K-Ef-LCYv4

Harp version of Spirited Away’s One Summer Day, calms me down when I’’m feeling stressed, if I had to pick one.

Slumber: What’s One Thing That Helps You Fall Asleep When It Feels Impossible?

Well, that really depends on the reason. If its a bad thoughts type of sleep, I listen to MBMBAM or go through kind words my girlfriend sent me. If its I’m just too awake, I think of something to dream about (even though I don’t dream much anymore) and listen to peaceful music till I drift off to sleep. 

[jewelphan]

Caught Up in a Dream - Ch. 1

Summary: Dan is Phil’s best friend, and he has been for the better half of the year. The only problem is that Dan doesn’t exist, not really. Dan is just a person who appears in Phil’s dreams; someone who’s made up. At least, that’s what Phil believes.

Word Count (for this chapter): 1.7k

Warnings (for this chapter): none 

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Phil’s mind had been very jumbled lately. In the past week he had been surged with thousands of thoughts. Granted, these thoughts only orbited around one thing, or rather, one person: Dan Howell. More specifically, the day he met Dan. The day was still clear in his mind as if it had happened yesterday, the day he met the boy with those chocolate brown eyes with hair to match. Met. A strange word to use considering the fact that Phil didn’t meet Dan, not really. He more-or-less created him- made him up, per se.

Dan was just a figment of Phil’s imagination, but Phil couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if Dan was real. Dan Howell, his best friend, would exist, that’s what would happen. And damn, the things he would give just to make that statement true.

Dan seemed real enough: he acted real, sounded real, looked real, even felt real at times. The only thing that was convincing Phil that he wasn’t real was the fact that Phil only ever saw Dan in his dreams. If Dan existed outside of Phil’s dreams, there would be nothing else to keep him from believing Dan wasn’t real. But unfortunately for Phil, he only ever saw the sweet boy when he closed his eyes.

Sweet was an odd way to define Dan. He wasn’t always the kind and loving (and a bit sarcastic… okay, a lot sarcastic) boy Phil had grown to know today. In fact, Dan used to hate him, always mumbling about some revenge plan he needed to execute. Phil never used to understand the boy, he thought he was crazy. But as the nights passed, Dan started becoming less hostile towards Phil and slowly warmed up to him. However, this did not happen fast... and now that Phil thinks about it, it took the better half of six months for Dan to finally warm up to him. Though even now, after nearly a year, Dan still didn’t seem fully comfortable with Phil, though he had gotten a thousand times more tolerable.

Phil wasn’t sure why it mattered so much to him. Dan wasn’t real, not fully. Though, that depends on how you define real. He was real to Phil, so it made since it would matter to him. But no one else knew Dan was real, therefore that should make him nonexistent. Phil supposed it was how you looked at it. To Phil, Dan was the realest thing on this planet- his best friend, but to everyone else, there was no such person named Dan Howell.

Phil sighed, wondering how the hell his mind ever came up with Dan. It shouldn’t have been possible considering his mind was confusing itself enough as it was. Not to mention how damn gorgeous Dan was, Phil’s mind should’ve been incapable of creating such beauty. Regardless, Dan made Phil happy and that was good enough for him. Real or not, Dan was his best and first friend he had ever made.

Phil groaned, flopping himself down onto his bed. The sun had set only about an hour ago and he was already wishing and waiting for sleep to claim him. Ever since he met Dan, he was so much more eager to go to sleep at an earlier time. In the past, he’d go to sleep in the early hours of the morning, but as of late, he had found himself falling asleep just a bit too early. He sometimes even found himself asleep before his own mother, which did raise a few questions from her at the time. Phil remembers her demanding to know what had gotten into him and if he was feeling alright. He did find it funny, she was concerned because he was getting sleep, not because he wasn't. Eventually she stopped questioning him and said that she was just happy he had good sleeping habits again… as if he ever did in the first place.

Phil let out a silent chuckle at the memory before reaching over to turn his bedside lamp off. He laid down in his bed, fluffing out his duvet and draping it over himself. Then he tucked himself deep beneath the covers to achieve maximum comfort. Phil smiled to himself, excited to see Dan again. He saw him every night, with his soft smile and bright eyes. Everything about Dan brought a certain warmth to Phil’s chest that he loved more than he would like to admit. Phil didn’t understand where the warm and soft feeling came from, but it made him happy- Dan made him happy.

With that thought in mind, Phil breathed out a content sigh before closing his eyes and falling into a comfortable sleep.

“Wakey-wakey,” Phil vaguely heard Dan say, “actually, I suppose sleepy-sleepy would be more accurate.”

“What are you on about?” Phil grumbled, he was always a bit disoriented when he gained consciousness within his dreams.

“What I'm saying is, why should I say ‘wakey-wakey’? The last thing I want you to do is wake up… because y’know you're technically dreaming, therefore asleep, and I need you to stay asleep if I want to talk to you. But that’s besides the point, the point is- wouldn't it make more sense if I said ‘sleepy-sleepy’?” Dan tried to explain, rather badly according to Phil.

“I guess,” Phil mumbled, not sure what else to say.

“What's got you so talkative anyway?” Phil questioned. Dan normally talked a lot, but he was never one to start conversations so quickly.

Dan shrugged, “I suppose it's because today marks the day we first met.”

“What, like our one year anniversary?” Phil asked.

Dan scoffed, “you make it sound like we're in a relationship or something.”

“Oh? I was under the impression we were,” Phil smirked, trying his best not laugh.

Dan rolled his eyes, “of course we are, Philly, I didn't mean for you to doubt yourself,” Dan played along.

Dan’s face was so serious that Phil couldn't help but burst out into laughter, Dan quickly following suit. The idea was too ridiculous not to laugh. Him and Dan? In a relationship? The thought was almost too stupid to be considered funny.

“Why don't you--come and give me--a kiss?” Phil tried to ask, his heavy laughter breaking up his sentence.

Dan composed himself a bit and answered, “you only get a kiss if you come and catch me first,” his statement only pushed Phil into another fit of laughter, tears falling from his eyes from the lack of breaths he was taking.

Dan chuckled, “God, you're so childish.”

Phil managed to control himself enough to answer, “you're the one who played along.”

“Only because you started it.”

Phil waved his hand dismissively, “excuses, excuses.”

“Whatever,” Dan muttered.

There was a pause in the conversation- and Phil's laughing- before Phil spoke up,“but seriously, a whole year?” Phil asked. He wondered if that was the reason he had been thinking about Dan so much lately.

“Yeah, it's crazy, right?” Dan asked, though the question was rhetorical.

“Time flies.” Phil mumbled, he couldn't believe an entire year had passed since he had met Dan, the thought seemed too crazy to be true, but it was true.

Dan nodded in agreement, heaving a sigh as he sat down on the floor.

It wasn't so much a floor as it was a platform. The place they were in never changed. They were on a large yet simple glass platform that floated in the sky; surrounded by the dark of the night. But it never really seemed dark because the moon shone brightly above and the sky was filled with stars. It was like someone spilt a bottle of glitter, but the spill was too beautiful to clean up. Phil loved everything about the place; he often wondered how the place came to be.

He remembered back when Dan didn't talk too much to him, Phil would just sit at the edge of the glass- feet dangling over the side- and admire the view. He did this for quite a few months, really. He only stopped when Dan started making proper conversation with him.

He remembered once when Dan was being particularly annoying, Phil thought it would be a good idea to push him off the edge of the platform. Partly because he was curious as to what would happen, but mostly because Dan was being an annoying twat. Much to Phil's dismay, Dan ended up right back on the platform, almost as if he teleported back there. Dan hadn't talked to him for nearly a week after that, which Phil was very grateful for at the time. Now he wasn't sure what he would do if Dan ignored him for so long.

“What's got you so deep in thought?” Dan asked, breaking Phil from his thoughts.

“Mm, nothing. Just thinking of that time I pushed you off the platform.” Phil said simply, almost as if he was trying to provoke Dan.

“You sound so proud of yourself.” Dan scoffed.

“I was at the time.”

“Yeah, well, it was rude.” Dan grumbled.

Phil rolled his eyes, “it’s not like it hurt you,” he paused, “and I ended up getting what I wanted, anyway.”

“And what would that be?”

“For you to ignore me.”

“I bet if I ignored you now you wouldn't like it so much, would you?” Dan said smartly.

Phil didn't even try to deny it.

After that, there was a comfortable silence that fell over them, only to be broken about a half hour later by Dan.

“The sun’s about to rise,” Dan mumbled softly.

“Yeah,” Phil agreed.

“You have school,” Dan said.

Phil nodded.

“You need to wake up.”

“Yeah,” he said again, but made no move to get up.

“Phil,” Dan stated firmly.

“Yeah, okay, I'm getting up.”

“It's not like you won't see me tomorrow,” Dan grumbled.

Phil looked up at him, “sounds like you can't wait to see me again,” Phil said sarcastically.

“I can't,” Dan said honestly, “now get up before I kick you off this platform.”

Phil sighed, but got to his feet, “Happy Anniversary, Dan,” Phil mocked sarcastically, yet he laughed anyway.

And he heard Dan laugh as well before the dream around him faded and he found himself once again awake in his own bed.

Next Chapter

a/n: look at me... writing a chaptered fic... welp im not sure how this is gonna go but im giving it a shot. I don’t have an updating schedule atm but I’ll see how things go and hopefully I’ll make one, but as of rn im very attached to this story so hopefully updates will be sooner rather than later but ye, I hope u enjoyed the first chapter and looking forward to the next one :)