#but she spends her money on tat like there’s no tomorrow

[hella1975]

ive looped yerushalayim by the miami boys choir and im FINALLY finishing unpacking my room this is a very very niche vibe but im enjoying it

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: pick me up Joe: rude you clearly did without me Joe: but I'll be able to do a twofer, yeah 👌 Joe: send your distress signal so I know where to point Ronnie: [wherever she's been working for a hot sec, I dread to think lol] Joe: you making a complaint about their cold-calls in person? Joe: tick off initiative on your CV Ronnie: my sides have split & it aint fuck all to the piss poor stitching Joe: see how far we can stretch your guts either side of you, fun Joe: did you self-sew or see one of your gun-wielding pals? different principle tats and triage Ronnie: then you can play a round of guess how much of this blood is mine, get yourself proper going Joe: too kind, stop me from charging the going rate for a while yet 🚖 Joe: what office supply did you use though Joe: if you were too cliche, you are going to have to sit up front and talk to me, proper cabbie punishment Ronnie: everything got nicked day 1 baby they werent about to waste any staples keeping shit on desks Ronnie: phone & a script is your lot Joe: there any drug we can act like anyone's calling it oscar on the street? Joe: you fully Joe Pesci'd someone with the phone, yeah? 👏 Ronnie: any gear that should go straight in the bin Ronnie: call it oscar Joe: you are wasted on 0 hour contracts, my dear Ronnie: not wasted enough for em Joe: join me at your local overpriced shit coffee dealer Joe: our bathrooms couldn't pass a piss test but they all only want the ⬆pers Joe: 💔 Ronnie: ill have an escort if you dont get a fucking move on Ronnie: you got enough student spends to feed coffee & doughnuts to the full force yeah Joe: say lucky you but security guards got as many hairs on their head as they got IQ points Joe: lot down Soho are decent conversationalists, unlike Daz and Gaz Joe: I did just get this terms though so hold on and you can help me 🔥 through it Ronnie: i dont get turned on by einstein & his pals mckenna thats your wank fuel Ronnie: easiest way to get a cunt off my back is to put him on his Joe: he only banged his cousin, that's nothing to waste energy on Ronnie: 💔 none of your cousins look enough like your mam for you Joe: why do you think i was searching Joe: daring to dream Ronnie: give a fuck about your nancy drew fantasies Ronnie: that schoolgirl shit is tapped Joe: the catholic schoolgirl uniforms have been overstated Joe: not all that in person, be the review Joe: nuns though, yeah Joe: enough mild peril to manage Ronnie: charlie will be gutted youve switched from homos to dykes Joe: you're the only one who's guts I wanna play around Joe: I'll break it to him nicely Joe: doughnuts, yeah Ronnie: consolation hole Ronnie: youve had shitter ideas Joe: it was yours, in fairness Joe: dunno about offering up my hole to every bloke at the met but if I put my foot down shouldn't be an issue Ronnie: i dont reckon a consolation footjob is gonna cut it Ronnie: not my first offence Joe: giving away how highly you think of my 🍑 Joe: what happened then, beyond telemarketing being worse than shitting out razorblades Ronnie: you wish you had 1 whitey Joe: says you Ronnie: if i had any curves theyd be cut off by now Joe: junkie chic before the habit Joe: some girls have all the luck Ronnie: lucky i need your bullshit heroics for this or id send you on a fools errand to sleuth the pieces out of landfill Joe: white knight > jester Joe: not my usual style, but for you I'll make an exception Ronnie: unless youre gonna say your horse fucking girlfriend dressed you the other night ive already seen it like Joe: you think her thing is budget kurt cobain? Joe: or that she's blind Ronnie: be blind by now if you catholics arent full of shit about touching yourself too much Ronnie: homesick for the horse & rejected by you Joe: what do you think its called Joe: my bets are on some boy band member she fancied when she was 11 and daddy was gutted Ronnie: or the 1st lad she wanted to meet round the back of the bike sheds Joe: you're such a romantic Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: im thinking like a basic white bitch from kent or wherever the fuck you said Joe: you do it well Joe: no way her school had anything common like bikesheds though so knocking a point off Joe: getting fingered on the hellipad is more voyeuristic but has less of a charm about it Ronnie: write a song about it Ronnie: shes gonna be charmed by the namedrop Joe: return the favour Joe: she's making me help her with her coursework Ronnie: plaster cast of your cock and then what Ronnie: tell her you aint no hendrix & its been done Joe: charlie wishes, whitey Joe: I'll cc 'em both in about my disappointing dick Ronnie: ill pass on gaz & daz numbers Joe: god I hope the plaster ain't dried Ronnie: god aint listening to you nancy Joe: adds up Joe: that kind of dad, technically always keep an eye but going in one ear and out the other Joe: 💔 woe is me Ronnie: irish catholics aint got fuck all going on between the ears she werent in it for that Joe: fucked me up with her shit genetics then Joe: you manage to get a pen? Joe: shove it in my ear and dig it out Ronnie: pull it out of my neck & you can stick it where you like Joe: we'll let the blood piss out 'til it feels right Ronnie: im the romantic Ronnie: shut up Joe: alright, you need to be conscious to woo me Ronnie: couldve fooled me Joe: dead girls pale in comparison Joe: 💘 Ronnie: the boners you lot have got for open caskets over there i dont reckon youve ever seen a dead girl the proper colour Joe: just said you were #1 but you've got to be 1 and only, yeah? Ronnie: in your fever dreams mckenna Ronnie: i aint looking that much like your ma however much slap i put on Joe: you're prettier than her Ronnie: now you want me to drink bleach instead of having a bath in it Ronnie: make up your fucking mind like Joe: just knew that would wind you up Joe: gotta bring out some cliches Joe: you're perfect just the way you are, you know Ronnie: drop dead Joe: god willing Joe: he's being fucking slow about it, despite my best efforts Ronnie: ill give it my best shot if you keep on Joe: another one for the cv Ronnie: find it written in my blood shit & bile on this wall Ronnie: thats your girlfriends coursework aced for her Joe: beats the lecture I'm skipping out on by miles Ronnie: no shit none of em are dressed like nuns Joe: none of 'em hate me like you either Joe: so damn likeable, its a curse Ronnie: i dont wanna hear about all your teachers trying to pet you Ronnie: childhoods over golden boy Joe: and all without me getting molested once Joe: by any nuns or teachers anyway Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: why youre such an annoying cunt Joe: abuse really humbles you, does it Joe: builds character Ronnie: gives you something to properly cry about Joe: got nothing on the shit my brain can make up Joe: idle hands and all that Ronnie: yeah youre so special baby Joe: it's just being mental or not Joe: if you ain't, you can go through whatever fucked up shit and be alright still Joe: if you're mental nothing even needs to happen and you'll be worse off Joe: some of us ain't got a chance from conception Ronnie: tell me something i dont know Ronnie: poster child for not having a fucking chance & any mental problems they wanna attach Joe: you better pay for more ad space Joe: call it karma, or dodgy genetics Joe: but I make a great case for abortion Ronnie: like i said before not one that needs to be put to me Ronnie: had more of em than youve had misery boners Joe: won't make you tell me about 'em Joe: no way you'd be as descriptive as the furious pro-lifers who act like the baby is fit to crawl out when you kill it Ronnie: hot Ronnie: shouldve called 1 of em to pick me up instead Joe: condemnation and loathing is meant to be my thing Ronnie: sharings meant to be your thing too yeah? Joe: only when it's inadvisable Ronnie: only when you wanna Joe: if you got to play oldest you'd know that's sadly untrue Ronnie: stuck being the cliche middle kid between fitz & the other one Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: seeking attention and approval because you're overlooked and under-appreciated? Joe: it's why 3 is a good number, any more and you've got multiple middle kids Joe: maybe I don't wanna fuck my mum, just missing all 3 of my own so much 🙄 Ronnie: they wish anyone could overlook me Ronnie: & you deffo do wanna fuck her so thats shit on your thesis Joe: yeah, sounds just like them Joe: suits you Joe: like the basic white bitch thing Ronnie: go fuck your mam Ronnie: im too tired for this Joe: you won't have no early start tomorrow sound of Ronnie: didnt have an early start today Ronnie: thats what kicked off this bullshit Joe: fair enough Joe: who wants a cold call at 7am Ronnie: the cunt who runs the place will be getting 1 off me til he pays me Joe: lucky him Joe: might wanna stay in your debt longer, romantic that you are Joe: attention very flattering Ronnie: what im hearing is i should tell his missus some fucking fairytale about the attention he was giving me Ronnie: everyonell be made up with the lie Joe: could do Joe: like your flair Joe: or I could come in, tell him you're mental and that he didn't make adequate allowances for you but now you're too traumatized to come back so he should just pay and we won't have to sue Joe: might get damages on top Ronnie: who are you my fucking school age carer like Joe: i'm believable, and more palatable than you outwardly Joe: anyway i look older Ronnie: than what 12 Joe: you have a baby face Joe: i look like i've not slept in as many years Joe: which is pretty accurate, as it goes Ronnie: do i fuck Ronnie: i look like ive shaken a baby to death Joe: child on child crime Joe: shocking headlines there, like that scottish girl who was fucked then got out and was someone's gran like she didn't kill a toddler Ronnie: see how palatable you are when I kick your teeth in Joe: it's a curse Joe: if you wanna lift it and be my hero instead of it being this way 'round Joe: love you forever, like Ronnie: ill lift your wallet fuck the rest Joe: already offered you my money Joe: not even a challenge, soft touch Ronnie: like youve ever been challenged soft lad Joe: go on Ronnie: youre already going on loads Joe: bet you've never heard about the traffic in this city, have ya Ronnie: fuck it ill go lay in it Joe: 😍 Ronnie: save the pillow talk for when youre offering me somewhere else to sleep Ronnie: would let you fuck me for entry to horse girls en suite if theres a bath in it Joe: where's your bed gone Ronnie: its got a hysterical homo in it whos only gonna get himself in more of a fanny flap cause ive been sacked Ronnie: ill take the wreckage of a 4 car pile up or whatever Joe: gotcha Joe: how long 'fore he calms it Ronnie: how long are you offering to spend buying him drinks & cupping his balls Joe: i get it Joe: you wanna wifeswap Joe: not just her art assignment you're interested in Joe: but you can just take my bed, I'm always falling asleep on the sofa or up the table and she'll relish at more chance to watch me sleeping Ronnie: your room got a 🔒 Joe: yeah but you're alright, it's on the inside Joe: not going to get fritzl about it Ronnie: youd need more than that to keep me in Ronnie: which youd know if you were earning off dealing with my mental problems Joe: not giving you a challenge either, don't get hysterical yourself like Ronnie: you couldnt like Ronnie: bigger pussy than your basic white girlfriend Joe: oh god stop talking about it Joe: i'll be sick Ronnie: no stomach for any kind of challenge Joe: you crack on Joe: i'll stick to 🍩 Ronnie: not so needy for some clean piss that ill be licking her out for it Joe: you should write this song for me Ronnie: whats in it for me Ronnie: got all your spends on a promise as is Joe: the fame and full writing credits, obviously Ronnie: fuck off obviously Joe: that's how we know you're not really a middle kid Ronnie: more shit you can come at your ma with Joe: I'll save it for the next holiday Ronnie: 💘 Joe: what about your dad Ronnie: i dont reckon hes up for another go on her if youre there watching Joe: 💔 Joe: i meant do you know what happened to him Joe: you might have more interesting half brothers out there, what I'm thinking Ronnie: got no interest in little fucking kids Joe: so you do know Joe: did he come find you or what Ronnie: dont get jealous nance Ronnie: did it myself like Joe: he meet your expectations Ronnie: what kind of fucking soft shit is that Ronnie: get a grip mckenna he aint rich Joe: a no would suffice Joe: though it's adorable you really kicked it like Annie over it Joe: you could've said you had none, or you expected him to be dead or worse, a useless cunt Ronnie: why would i say fuck all to you about it Joe: too painful too private Joe: gotcha Ronnie: wank over your own parents when i aint waiting Joe: the fact you've not implied I'd prematurely cum in my pants Joe: you're so full of hope it's equal parts inspiring and worrying Ronnie: get out of my face before i kick yours in Ronnie: everyone who aint gone blind can see youre a virgin Joe: don't be jealous, sid Ronnie: you cant tell your older sister what to do baby Ronnie: that aint how this works Joe: it wasn't good ever Ronnie: course youre crying about that too Ronnie: fucking hell Joe: just trying to ease your jealousy Joe: anyway, you'll be pleased to know the lacklustre results were down to my lack of trying, not theirs Ronnie: 1 less dose of the clap & i might still be fertile now thats fucking worrying Ronnie: keep your status choir boy Joe: bit cliche far as fantasies go but alright Ronnie: you started it Ronnie: trying to make me feel special Joe: no need to try is there Ronnie: not now my gag reflex has been triggered Joe: like that ain't been decimated by now too Ronnie: youre learning Ronnie: your teachersll be made up Joe: hope for the molestation yet? Joe: nice Ronnie: ease your 💔 & limp dick Joe: calm down Joe: might get attached Ronnie: do your grades the world of good Joe: you wanna help me with my homework? Ronnie: youre that shit in the sack you still wont get an a after giving your teachers a going over Ronnie: unlucky like Joe: so you can help me Joe: what else you gonna do whilst you're hiding from charlie Ronnie: use your imagination Joe: no need Joe: you'll be sharing Ronnie: cant stop you kicking the door in Ronnie: its yours Joe: just the needle, not the bed, like Joe: you're fine Ronnie: yeah youll be between horse girls sheets Joe: don't reckon she's strong enough to carry me Ronnie: only has to strap a saddle on Joe: 😂 Ronnie: fuck knows what she would fill your nose bag with Joe: the surprise is the fun part Ronnie: dont come crying to me when its oscar Joe: if she was half as interesting as you're making out, might stand a chance of working Joe: as it goes, probably be granola Ronnie: stick her thatll make her more your type Joe: come on Joe: she don't look a thing like my mother Ronnie: fucks sake when shes under get a 🔪 Ronnie: do your best like Joe: i keep telling you i'm not one for trying Ronnie: trying not to cry is as far as it goes yeah Joe: even my kiddy medicine cuts that shit off Joe: ain't been able to since I was 12 Joe: not that there was much call for it, my perfect life with mummy dearest Ronnie: the other week before you met me then Ronnie: gutted i broke your streak Joe: you sure you ain't interested in little fucking kids Joe: rearrange that sentence and Freud is having a field day Ronnie: make the effort to get here before i start to rot Ronnie: not trying to make that cunts day or yours Joe: you'd have liked him Ronnie: he rich off peddling that bullshit to the masses Joe: yeah and he reckoned cocaine was the cure for heroin addiction so he really knew a good time Ronnie: sounds like my not boyfriend Joe: oh yeah? Joe: well his grandson was cooler Joe: he fucked kate moss when he was like 70 Ronnie: anyone written a song about that Joe: maybe pete did Joe: he was a painter though so he painted her with her kit off, obviously Joe: reckon it's free for us to give it a crack Ronnie: your girlfriend painted you yet or what Joe: she wants to Ronnie: no shit mckenna Ronnie: every cunt there nearly fucking went arse over tit in the puddle she was sat in at that gig Joe: so that's what that sticky feeling was Ronnie: her juices or charlies Joe: that's called mixed media Joe: potential bio-hazard for her profs though Ronnie: worst theyre gonna get off her is thrush Ronnie: never met a bitch so clean Joe: yeah Joe: boring Ronnie: i told you to kill her last time you started being a baby about it Joe: you can have homicidal, sis Joe: boring but harmless Ronnie: cocaines harmless after heroin you & freud are still pussy enough to call it a party Joe: why it's a cure Joe: get you from comatose to semi-functioning Ronnie: she could be a cure too Ronnie: cold turkey Joe: weren't searching for a cure Joe: am i coming in or are you coming out Joe: can't see you Ronnie: cause youre comatose Ronnie: gutted this ex boss aint a cokehead Joe: not far off Joe: he your not boyfriend or is that just what we're telling the wife Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: he couldnt fund your baby habit nevermind mine Joe: we going there first then Ronnie: yeah Joe: if we get your wages, we don't have to Joe: [come in boy] Ronnie: [a look like go on impress me by getting these wages boy] Joe: [when you can give it social worker chat 'cos what Tess does and the whole beeline of it all like you can be convincing enough that he's breaking some kind of equality law by sacking her without pay lol] Ronnie: [love that for you Joseph even if she won't let you know she's impressed and also lowkey triggered by that social worker energy] Joe: [honestly, lbr this man surely just wants you gone, won't take too much persuading] Ronnie: [literally and he's clearly in some way shady if he's 1. employed her and also 2. not called the police on her rn] Joe: [no leg to stand on sir, love this shakedown for you] Ronnie: [I bet they're all illegals and people being exploited] Joe: [its a mood, as in happens all the time esp. in cities, least you can hit him up again lads, long as he don't get y'all beaten up or something lol] Ronnie: [tbf if you do get beaten up that's a mood too] Joe: [yeah, when they find out you are not social and just taking their money lol] Ronnie: [love a scam] Joe: [the kind of nonsense have your mother rolling in her grave she's not in, love that we're starting that now] Ronnie: [I approve of the vibe, start as you mean to go on lads, all before you've made his poor flatmate wanna die lol] Joe: [poor gal did not ask for you as a flatmate let alone all this lol] Ronnie: [do you wanna skip to like when she's back and Ronnie's in his room or whatever because easy way to keep the convo going without needing it to be face to face] Joe: [works for me henny] Ronnie: [your turn to start boo] Joe: doubt she'll leave her room any time soon now Ronnie: 💔 Joe: yeah poor girl Joe: saying you got free reign, if you need anything Ronnie: i had it before Ronnie: not scared of her like Joe: nah Joe: what about charlie then Joe: or you just don't wanna upset him Ronnie: yeah terrified Ronnie: well sleuthed nancy Joe: that he'll get sick of you, maybe Ronnie: i fucking told you we aint the kind of family who get rid Joe: yeah Ronnie: dont project onto me Ronnie: we aint nothing alike Joe: i'm the one sick of them Joe: if anything Ronnie: yeah & he aint fuck all like you either Joe: I can see that Ronnie: youve seen him once dont flatter yourself Joe: and it's that obvious Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: what? Joe: i only need to know one half the equation to know we're not the same Joe: it's a compliment to him if fuck all else Ronnie: give it to him then Ronnie: hell lap it up Joe: i told you it's nice Joe: what you lot got Joe: but i'm not looking to get in on it if that's what you reckon Ronnie: take what you want pussy Joe: that's not your thing? Ronnie: what we cant both do it Joe: potentially Ronnie: dont remember you having any hesitation to share a needle Ronnie: grow a pair when youre not getting shot up Ronnie: maybe the dayll come when i dont have to spoon feed you the gear like a fucking kid Joe: i'd have to work out if i want anything but first Ronnie: yeah Joe: is it all you want Joe: the heroin Ronnie: mind your fucking business Joe: alright Joe: do you want to do my next tattoo or what Ronnie: i said take what you fucking want Joe: [come through with ink you've undoubtedly stole from your flatmate, also being more spacey/twitchy than normal like distract me gal] Ronnie: [love how old school & gross we're kicking this tattoo situation unlike when Ali does it] Joe: [which is absolutely the point, how your arms and legs don't fall off lol] Ronnie: [their other ones probably wouldn't have even healed yet cos lbr it's gonna be no time in between these interactions] Joe: [just loads of lowkey open wounds, like that isn't life anyway] Ronnie: [mhmm they'd be fucked already too cos they are so itchy when they are healing and y'all don't have chill] Joe: [all the reason for constant touch ups/ messing with so it casually never heals #mood] Ronnie: [I didn't think of that but I stan] Joe: [casual metaphor for your everything lads] Ronnie: [you know you can do anything to her tattoowise yourself Joseph she don't care] Joe: [probably doing some weird repitition moment you'd usually do on yourself which will be painful af excuse you] Ronnie: [she do love the pain you're fine] Joe: [good thing too, we're just here fucking each other up like this ain't gonna go anywhere else lolllllll] Ronnie: [way more #into it than I should be considering I don't  even like when people shout lol] Joe: [you babby, they are not, obviously we're getting and taking drugs even if she's too naive to know why they're in such a state, maybe they can make a dealer come to them when they're feeling fancy/have already had loads lol] Ronnie: [take a moment to appreciate how few clothes she is wearing rn and how much that means this poor gal can and would see like we've got track marks and self harm scars for days even before you start on the tattoos lol, you're gonna get clued in before she leaves hen] Joe: [honestly props for not running home screaming tbh babe] Ronnie: [especially when this dealer comes because he ain't Drew like he should be scary af] Joe: [lowkey makes you work for it even when you're paying 'cos hates junkies] Ronnie: [at least she can basically fuck him in full view for Joe's benefit because the vibe is already there haha] Joe: [i truly love thinking about what the hell you're telling the flatmate when she leaves, she's not that stupid, also must fancy you if she doesn't report you immediately lol] Ronnie: [she definitely does that's not just Ronnie's bpd jealousy shining through like did you tell her you were related after the gig or what even Joseph what's the narrative] Joe: [also, entirely unrelated, when you bleaching your hair 'cos it looks so much better lol, anyways, he's probably had to go with a troubled sister narrative 'cos she's the type to be sympathetic and it makes sense why he'd deal from her pov] Ronnie: [that's gonna make the obvious sexual tension awkward but yeah I vote they definitely do it while she's staying because same vibe as the tattoo sesh so] Joe: [ikr, when you're blatantly fucking this will be very confusing, you should deffo only be about 1st year lol] Ronnie: [are you gonna give him another different flatmate in year 2 or like none?] Joe: [maybe for year 2  on you can still have some like a house share moment but he's the one you never see and has nothing to do with you] Ronnie: [that works definitely cos like I was just thinking how could he afford somewhere on his own] Joe: [yeah, even if we're technically employed whilst in uni by the orchestra, it's not gonna be loads, and that's how London be even if you're not a student] Ronnie: [how long do we think she should stay for this time because obvs she's coming back again and again but] Joe: [hmm, like he isn't gonna tell her to go so it's on her for how long she can deal lol] Ronnie: [just cos I'm thinking she should leave because something happens/almost does and it freaks her out because she's meant to hate him and there's only so much you can play off as doing for shock value when you're blatantly into it] Joe: [that makes sense, clearly it ain't gonna take long for that to transpire] Ronnie: [yeah a few days is what I'm imagining, but like enough that she probably thinks nothing will happen because it hasn't so far, if that makes sense] Joe: [i'm with it] Ronnie: [how far do we wanna go is always the question] Ronnie: [okay idea time, hear me out hun, what if it's like an unexpectedly pure/cute moment by their standards that happens in the day to day because the obvious would be to have them go all in when they are fucked up but like think about it] Joe: [that's what I thought too though 'cos it's more impactful 'cos it isn't as if it's gonna start with a kiss when it does for real like it's all extra and them to cover that it's about anything but being fucked up, so that would shake you both] Ronnie: [so glad we're on the same page here, like I can't think of a good example of what I mean/think should happen but] Joe: [we know the vibe, doing something vaguely domestic before realizing what you're doing] Ronnie: [so she gotta run away and nobody is gonna know where she is or what she's doing for a bit soz Charlie & Bronson] Joe: [you wanna skip to that time period now, this hasn't been excessively long or anything[ Ronnie: [we totally can because we can always skip back/add it if we think of anything else we wanna do while she's there etc] Ronnie: [I've had a potential idea how to start this so neither of them technically has to bite the bullet and go first like if you give me a rough idea what kind of thing Charlie would say e.g where are you/are you dead bitch and I'll reply here like she's in the wrong convo lol] Joe: [that's a good idea boo, probably something like you can stop hiding now and an update about whatever the fuck he's up to in his life which you can make up you know the vibe lol] Ronnie: [I was just like realistically if they were both shook by what happened neither of them are gonna be like oh hey] Joe: [yeah like it'd take him a while even if he would 'cos not just gonna let this go that easy, so it's a solid way to do it] Ronnie: a real scouse ma's meant to shout down the street when its time to stop playing about Ronnie: lazy cunt Joe: I'm only half if I'm anything, and you probably won't give me that any rate Ronnie: 🖕 not talking to you Ronnie: got the wrong gaylord Joe: easy mistake Joe: you not got his number saved? Ronnie: if this was my phone yeah Joe: newly acquired then Ronnie: mine broke Joe: my condolences Joe: wall or pavement? Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter Joe: just making conversation whilst you're here Ronnie: if youve got something to say go ed Ronnie: but if youre gonna pussy out as per it got waterlogged Joe: you dying for the uni update like my ma is a top performance, cheers, like Joe: rice didn't work or you didn't fancy eating toilet water rice after Ronnie: loads in common me & her aint just a pretty face like Ronnie: dont know what kind of fucking 12 year old in a k hole at a festival you take me for mckenna Joe: yeah, it's a shame Joe: soph says save some for the 🐎s Ronnie: cold showers work better for misery boners than they do a suspected od but these fucking amateurs aint know jack shit obviously Ronnie: shame & shameful that is Joe: I'm a better sesh companion Ronnie: ill take the 🐴 Ronnie: whole or in bits Joe: seems the possessive type Ronnie: thats your bitch Joe: who I meant but I ain't claiming her Ronnie: bet shed be made up over a uni update Joe: bold of you to assume we haven't had many delightful lunch dates whilst you've been having cold showers Ronnie: give a fuck if youve been eating her out at any time of day Joe: yeah well I'm pretty gutted you've replaced me with another newbie Ronnie: stop fucking crying Ronnie: i aint running a nursery Joe: ain't the only one sounds of your reply Ronnie: fuck off Joe: reckon he's over you getting the sack now Ronnie: not everythings about that mary Ronnie: & he aint my keeper Joe: just your mum, I got the message Ronnie: he reckons he can baby me it aint the same thing Joe: he's older than you yeah Ronnie: youve got a sister other than me dont act like you cant get your head round it Joe: not really my M.O. Ronnie: special yeah Joe: she's got a dad and another brother happy enough to oblige Ronnie: i dont need to puke up my good time Joe: thought your stomach and nerve were meant to be stronger than that Ronnie: whatever you think about me is bullshit baby Joe: just what you've put out there Ronnie: & yours is heroics just warning you this aint no od like Ronnie: aint gotta press eject Joe: you're typing Joe: don't think anyone knows you well enough to commit to the impression here Ronnie: talking Ronnie: everyone knows idle hands are dangerous Ronnie: but that dont mean i gotta keep em busy typing Joe: yeah Joe: know the feeling Ronnie: its used to my accent & everything Ronnie: more than i can say for the live cunts here Joe: you in 💘 with your phone that's dead cute Joe: its worse when you're angry Ronnie: not in 💘 with kent Ronnie: your girlfriend proper missold it Joe: fuck off are you in kent 😂 Ronnie: fucked you over if you were gonna come carry me out again Joe: acting like you didn't ask Joe: if you're going to now, do it, like Ronnie: if you dump her back home who the fucks keeping the leccy on Joe: only got a baby habit ain't I Ronnie: what so youre carrying me out & dumping me where Ronnie: anywhere near & im taking your money shithead Joe: we don't need electric Ronnie: how will you get off on me wearing your mams face in the dark Joe: would hate to waste your hard work, obviously Ronnie: what hard work Joe: liberating my mums face from her skull Ronnie: be my pleasure Ronnie: all play Joe: alright then Joe: i'll be able to keep up Ronnie: big talk for a 12 year old virgin Joe: hiding it kent you can't talk or type about it Ronnie: im not fucking hiding Joe: yeah right Ronnie: plain sight baby Joe: 40 miles Ronnie: & Joe: if you wanna play, you're gonna have to give me another clue Joe: know if i'm getting warm Ronnie: [a blurry picture clue] Ronnie: 💘 Joe: they new friends or old Ronnie: waste of a question Joe: how many do i have left Ronnie: 39 but if you need that many dont fucking bother Joe: you don't wanna disappointed so bad Ronnie: you disappoint me by coming out the same hole Joe: that don't have to matter Joe: plenty have Ronnie: yeah but i aint met the rest of your happy family Joe: you wanna Ronnie: 38 now Joe: it could've been a statement Ronnie: was it Joe: 39 for you Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: you wanted to go to the beach Ronnie: that a question or what soft lad Joe: ?* Ronnie: didnt know there was 1 Joe: it's a county you know Ronnie: how the fuck would i know that Ronnie: shut up Joe: do you wanna go to the beach Ronnie: i can drown you in the sink Joe: i didn't put you in the shower Joe: or your phone Ronnie: youd have been made up by how blue i went though Ronnie: well like a dead girl Joe: yeah? Joe: what's it feel like Ronnie: youll get your own go Ronnie: aint holding your hand forever like Joe: gutted Ronnie: you wont reckon so when you outgrow that baby habit Joe: i'd mind if you died Ronnie: give you something to cry about Ronnie: youd be fucking into it Joe: nah Joe: people who've got shit to mope on usually don't Joe: enjoy it too much don't I, can't be having it validated, takes the fun out Ronnie: most dont reckon a happy end would be cumming inside their ma Ronnie: youd enjoy having a reason to celebrate or trauma bond depending on her fucking take Joe: our mate freud would disagree Joe: she'd wear black for the rest of her life, if that's what you wanna hear Joe: but counting it as a question, 38 Ronnie: why the fuck would i wanna hear that Ronnie: be boss for her if she never shifted her bastard baby weight like Joe: 37 unless it's rhetorical Joe: i dunno what will make you feel better Ronnie: 38 wasn't a question in the first place you just counted it cause youre a cheating lil bitch Joe: what's the prize and why do you want it so much Ronnie: use your imagination fucks sake Ronnie: why do you always want your hand held Joe: waste of a question Joe: 'cos I'm such a mummy's boy duh Ronnie: if shed let you walk into the road i wouldnt be answering any of your pussy questions Ronnie: 💔 Joe: be a lot easier for all of us Joe: i'll throw myself in front of the tube, fuck up everyone's day Ronnie: ill pick myself up from kent then yeah Joe: oh so you've claimed selfish have you Ronnie: no shit nancy drew Ronnie: fitz is still crying that i 💉 you up Joe: bless Joe: you're not claiming what got me there Ronnie: cant i wasnt fucking there Joe: then don't feel guilty Ronnie: dont fucking flatter yourself Ronnie: could care less Joe: you who's trying Ronnie: taking away a question if youre gonna lie Joe: not 12, not a virgin, don't need you to hold my hand Joe: i wanted to and want to Ronnie: made up horse girl took it while i was away Joe: yeah Ronnie: get yourself checked for 🐴 aids or whatever Joe: could care less is right Ronnie: bullshit youll be gutted if you dick falls off before you put it in your ma Joe: talking about how much you do Ronnie: what are big sisters for Ronnie: ask the other one & hell stutter round how much i dont too Joe: it's not the same Ronnie: you aint special mckenna how many times Ronnie: let your ma feed you that bullshit Ronnie: & fuck knows what youve already caught from my blood Joe: bit late for warnings Ronnie: you had one first time we met like Ronnie: got eyes Joe: exactly Joe: i'm not gonna take the hint Ronnie: too subtle for you yeah Joe: if you think you could be any more blatant Joe: have fun trying Ronnie: i am Ronnie: kent dont know what hit it Joe: i bet Joe: where have you been but some strangers doss house then Joe: and that is a question Ronnie: fuck knows Ronnie: been a blur Joe: you know its about 1,500 square miles yeah Joe: remember one landmark Ronnie: you know youre only getting any fucking answers cause im coming down Joe: we don't have to play this game Joe: if you tell me where you are, you'll be picked up quicker and then you can get whatever you need Ronnie: [a location, lord only knows] Joe: alright Ronnie: for you getting high of your bullshit heroics Joe: if it makes you feel better that you need rescuing Ronnie: do i fuck Joe: then you just wanna see me Joe: either way Ronnie: shut up Joe: what's better for you? Ronnie: your money then your life Joe: very adam ant Joe: and can be arranged Joe: even though you don't have a horse or a car so I'm more of a highwayman than you Ronnie: i aint getting on your gilfriends horse i know where its been Joe: 😏 Joe: you can just admit she's more up for it than you Ronnie: admit youre fucking brain damaged Ronnie: let her be up for hand holding & playing house Joe: what are big sisters for Ronnie: beating the shit out of you Joe: look forward to it Ronnie: yeah youve missed me Joe: not afraid to say it Ronnie: write a song about it Ronnie: no names & you can play it for any bitch Joe: thanks for the hot tip Joe: kill some time on this drive Ronnie: shouldve stuck your judy in the boot Ronnie: be eye spy & red car the whole fucking way Joe: haven't put the plastic sheet down Joe: 💔 short notice Ronnie: so torch it Ronnie: i know youve always got a lighter on you Joe: what gave it away Ronnie: ive got eyes baby Joe: try not to wear it on my sleeve though Ronnie: done a shit job there Joe: why do you show yours off Ronnie: whats the point of only feeling it on the inside Joe: doing it is feeling it on the outside Ronnie: im what they fucking made me they can look at it Joe: that makes sense Joe: yeah Ronnie: what the hell are you scared of Joe: I dunno Joe: doesn't feel like fear Joe: blending in or disappearing has always been preferable Ronnie: & you have the balls to reckon im hiding here Joe: it ain't hiding if no fucker's looking Joe: easier for them and me, like Ronnie: if you gave a shit about easier you wouldnt have looked for me Joe: it was last-ditch attempt Joe: see if you were the same, like all of them too Joe: or not Joe: and you're not Ronnie: cause she ditched me Joe: maybe Ronnie: i didnt have the luxury of blending in Joe: it's not a luxury Ronnie: not when you have it Ronnie: care kids dont Joe: not at all Joe: it was a necessity to not blow my brains out and all i ended up was cracked and wishing i had Joe: you didn't have a family to not belong in Ronnie: & you did em such a massive fucking favour by not ending it all yeah Ronnie: i dont know you or fucking care & i can tell youre desperate to Joe: if she can't get over you, and she never stuck around to know you Joe: it's fuck all to do with the person and everything to do with the label Joe: son, brother Joe: you're meant to care even if life is better or basically the same without Ronnie: good fucking thing i like downers Ronnie: youd ruin an e Joe: cheers Ronnie: get over her for fucks sake Ronnie: keep saying youre not 12 Joe: didn't have that luxury Ronnie: loads more cunts willing to fuck you over Ronnie: live a little like Joe: yeah that'll make it worth it Joe: dead inspirational Ronnie: try your other sister Joe: i'm sure she'd have even more helpful advice Ronnie: take it then Ronnie: ill kill you before i give you a reason to live Joe: you know i ain't fucking looking for one Ronnie: yeah Joe: you need anything Ronnie: i didnt tell you were to get fuck all out of it Joe: apart from a lift Ronnie: what do you reckon Joe: kk Ronnie: 💘 Joe: still not healed Joe: also looks like jobn now Ronnie: anything to make you feel special baby Joe: what I reckon Ronnie: i didnt reckon ocd made you that delusional Ronnie: but when you change it to say jobs youll blend right in Joe: not quite as fitting as when johnny did it Ronnie: whats your girlfriends name Joe: i'll find one to make it fit Joe: josie or jody maybe Ronnie: 💔 no decent gear has a girls name Joe: girls like to party not nod out Joe: gutted Ronnie: ive got a lads name i get why youre confused Joe: you didn't wanna change it Ronnie: you offering up the cash Joe: bit of a waste Joe: just for the paperwork Ronnie: yeah it is Joe: you dunno what to pick Ronnie: swear words aint allowed Joe: don't matter if you're just doing it, telling new people it's your name like Ronnie: not an underage tranny Joe: right Ronnie: bit fucking late now Joe: youre attached Ronnie: i dont care Joe: yeah Ronnie: not what i hate her for Joe: it's a lesser sin Joe: and not the worst name Ronnie: if thats your way of trying to namedrop the others, dont Joe: why would I Ronnie: i dont know you cant really answer why youd do fuck all Joe: i don't need to ask if you want to know them Ronnie: like their names are gonna tell me who they are Joe: like you care Ronnie: like thats ever stopped you Joe: I can't un-find you Joe: but I'm not going to force you to meet any of them or know any more than what's been said Ronnie: no fixed address remember Ronnie: cant make it much fucking easier for you Joe: no, you can't Ronnie: stop crying then Ronnie: you can do better than a car crash Joe: do better Ronnie: yeah like washing up on the beach Ronnie: keep every cunt guessing how you died Joe: see how many beaches I can end up on Ronnie: dead romantic Joe: you can have fun with the hacksaw anyway Joe: least I could do Ronnie: you dont owe me Joe: i do Ronnie: for what Joe: for finding you when you didn't want finding Ronnie: you got the wrong bastard Ronnie: loads of others would be made up Joe: would they? Joe: regardless, I did it for me Ronnie: fuck off trying to take selfish off me Joe: 😏 Ronnie: been a few days since ive used a phone as a weapon Ronnie: keep on if you want it chucked at you Joe: you've promised better than that Ronnie: course you cant last through the foreplay Joe: alright, romantic Ronnie: you fucking wish soft lad Joe: you wish i wished Ronnie: i fucking dont Joe: alright Ronnie: keep the 🕯🌹 for your girlfriend like Ronnie: fuck all i can do with soft Joe: lighters and poppies suit me better as well Ronnie: next tattoos then Ronnie: dont know if itll look like a poppy but fuck it Ronnie: ill cut it out if you dont like it Joe: even if we avoid the sleeve, still a lot of skin to ruin Joe: are you just going over now Ronnie: waste of a question Ronnie: theres fuck all you can do Joe: what, my scribbles weren't a masterpiece compared to your boyfriends Ronnie: told you get what you pay for mckenna Ronnie: & that i dont get hard for mozart & the like Joe: weren't gonna score a symphony on you but alright Joe: no touching Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: you & your baby habit dont score Joe: just pays Ronnie: dead comforting when i get robbed & left in a kent ditch Joe: it'll be the nicest ditch you've ever been in Ronnie: squatters rights Joe: my bed ain't comfy enough Ronnie: its the fact that its yours making me wanna hang myself with a sheet Ronnie: should say its too soft like you though shouldnt i Ronnie: gutted i fucked that up like Ronnie: we were playing so nice Joe: yeah, goldilocks suits Ronnie: unless your hair has fallen out Joe: I've not pulled it out either Joe: or soph, like Ronnie: not enough like a mane for her Joe: 💔 Joe: if only she'd have known me a few years ago Ronnie: get the family album out shell be made up Joe: shed a tear over our lack of horse Joe: sympathy fuck is better than none yeah Ronnie: the lack of me will really get her going Ronnie: had the pity eye fuck soon as i showed up Joe: she's an empath, babe, why she's so good at art Joe: lack of you might be an issue for me though Ronnie: another word for nosy cunt Joe: undoubtedly Joe: if i could sum up what was wrong with me for her I would Joe: but guess she likes the guessing Ronnie: if she was scouse shed just fucking come out with it Joe: gobshites, yeah Ronnie: what you get for having girlfriends who aint even wool Ronnie: self hatred making you go posh about it Joe: my last actual girlfriend was Ronnie: & youre claiming her Joe: not still writing songs about her Joe: well, never was Ronnie: shell still be 💔 Joe: nah Ronnie: you keep her waiting this long or am i that special Joe: you don't even know how far you've gone from london Joe: you're nearly 2 hours away Ronnie: if youre sticking to the speed limit Ronnie: stop being a pussy Joe: meet me and the car in the next ditch over Ronnie: more hand holding for fucks sake Joe: more than that if you want that lift Joe: have to drag the car out and hotwire it Joe: scrape me off the windshield Ronnie: i told you to stop getting me & what im into Joe: maybe i'm trying really hard Ronnie: far as hurting yourself goes thats the shittest way to have a go Joe: 💔 too weak Ronnie: keep your limp wrists on the steering wheel Ronnie: i wanna get out of here Joe: 😏 Joe: in a bit then Joe: got speeding to do and if you won't shut up Ronnie: youd have to try harder to make me Ronnie: that aint fucking likely Joe: only have to ask Joe: not nice or nothing Ronnie: i dont ask for handouts theyre given to me on account of all those mental problems ive got Joe: wouldn't it be nice to be the one doing the charity work for once Ronnie: if thats the only high youre offering me turn the fuck around Joe: not that daft Ronnie: your ma tell you that Joe: loads Ronnie: her judgements for shit not getting rid of us both with a hanger Joe: agreed Ronnie: dont put a kid in her shed only keep that one too Joe: still raising the last one Ronnie: like thatd stop her Ronnie: no fucking time wasted Joe: she did stop Joe: hence the 9 year gap oopsie baby Ronnie: reckon shed know what causes it by then Joe: Ireland got to her I guess Ronnie: dead keen for my invite now Joe: put it across as a valid form of contraception Joe: chlamydia Joe: they'd go for it Ronnie: worked for me Joe: postergirl Ronnie: 💔 there was no need to sew myself up Ronnie: be more fun than whichever fuck gave me it Joe: god willing Ronnie: your catholic one would be dead willing Joe: you're thinking of the wrong over-zealous christian country Ronnie: not on the right drugs for that kind of bullshit thinking Joe: 🍄 Joe: look out for cowshit whilst you're waiting Ronnie: that determined for me to see the sights yeah Joe: can't waste such an opportunity Ronnie: 🖕 watch me Joe: kent only comes calling so many times, like Joe: your choice Ronnie: shell be taking you every time uni gives you time off Joe: i'm good for it Ronnie: its well cute that you reckon youve got any say Ronnie: possessive type i heard Joe: 😏 Ronnie: she changed the 🔒 on your room yet Joe: keep you in or out? Ronnie: reckon it ended at the pity eye fuck for me & her Joe: 💔 Ronnie: yeah Joe: i'll talk her 'round for you Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: i dont need you to translate for me Ronnie: we got the money your carer role is over Joe: it's all in the eyes, I heard you Joe: not patronizing on your deep relationship Ronnie: shut up Joe: 🤐 Ronnie: & drive faster Joe: 👌 Ronnie: fucking hell i can see why shes fucking obsessed with you Joe: if you want chat Joe: definitely in the wrong place Joe: she don't need to know my ears aren't listening to hers Ronnie: she already knows you do what youre told without talking back Ronnie: like a battered wife Joe: anything for an easy 💀 Ronnie: youre coming to the right place for that Ronnie: but i wont tell her Joe: it's not a reportable crime Ronnie: im not a snitch & i can wear shades if she tries to eye fuck her way to finding fuck all out Joe: dunno if that's enough of a disguise but I don't care Joe: a habit, she could say something about that Joe: but the rest Ronnie: what rest Ronnie: you only want a habit Joe: speak for yourself Ronnie: im echoing you Ronnie: you fucking said it Joe: you know it's not true though Ronnie: youre full of shit yeah Joe: yeah Joe: you too if you wanna pretend about it Ronnie: i dont play pretend im not a fucking kid Joe: good Joe: then you know what's happening here Ronnie: [a picture or video of whatever is happening where she is, lord knows] Joe: you don't have to reciprocate, dickhead Joe: no need to try and make me crash Ronnie: thought youd grown a set of balls & had em drop while ive been here Ronnie: what it sounded like Joe: how olds the other one Joe: he looks younger than me Ronnie: didnt do a survey Joe: I mean your mate, I don't know his name Joe: not Charlie Ronnie: 17 Joe: he must've been a baby when you met, like Ronnie: whats your point Joe: ain't got one Joe: just wondering Ronnie: youre not his type Joe: he's not mine Ronnie: stop wondering then Joe: why? Ronnie: hes fuck all to do with you Ronnie: your mam didnt push him out Joe: not trying to get to know him over you Ronnie: then why do you care Joe: same age as my brother Joe: and the girl my parents took in, one of Joe: that's it Ronnie: here we fucking go Ronnie: you said you werent gonna do that Joe: you kept asking Ronnie: cause i dont want you fucking nonce my brother Ronnie: give a fuck about yours Joe: 'cos you think I would, alright Joe: don't be stupid Ronnie: i dont know what youd do Ronnie: dont fucking know you Joe: well I'm straight and entirely uninterested Ronnie: youre also full of shit Joe: why do you give a fuck Joe: I'm only a year older, if I wanted to, I would Ronnie: why do i give a fuck that you lied to me or about him Ronnie: go ed & wonder about it Joe: it weren't a lie Joe: shit changes Ronnie: i dont wanna hear about them that aint gonna change Joe: fine Ronnie: fuck you Joe: also fine Joe: sorry, alright Joe: it means fuck all Ronnie: its not fine Ronnie: & it means im gonna be running comparisons in my head Joe: just forget about it Joe: of course they're all around my age ish, it don't mean you know any more about them Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: it don't matter Ronnie: cause you get to tell me what matters too yeah Joe: come on Ronnie: you dont or what to fucking do either Joe: then what Joe: I said it, I said sorry Joe: you do what you must Ronnie: go home & give horse girl your sorry Joe: fuck that Joe: you still need to get back to London and I'm nearly there Ronnie: i got here i can leave here Joe: bullshit Ronnie: you wish Joe: well I'm still coming Ronnie: i dont care Ronnie: youve been going on about how big it is Ronnie: stay the fuck away from me Joe: Jesus fucking christ don't be such a pussy Ronnie: you fucking wish Joe: whatever Joe: this is going nowhere right now Joe: you know where to find me when you wanna actually do something about it Ronnie: your half arsed self destruction is going nowhere Ronnie: do something about that your fucking self instead of trying to bait me Joe: I'm still on my way Ronnie: kents full of real pussys you can save Ronnie: youll 💘 it Joe: I don't give a fuck, Ronnie Ronnie: why are you crying Ronnie: you fucked me over Joe: because this is a waste of time Ronnie: youre a junkie now get used to it Joe: at least I've got that Ronnie: youre welcome baby Joe: good luck finding decent shit in kent Ronnie: not going with you dont mean im staying here Joe: but I've got mine already Ronnie: you can have selfish Joe: I told you I was bringing more for you Joe: if you can get over it you can have your share Ronnie: ill take it over it not Ronnie: *or Ronnie: you cant fucking stop me Joe: say you want me to come then Joe: i know where you are, not the other way 'round Ronnie: youre the liar mckenna Ronnie: i dont want you to be anywhere Joe: then why should I come and share Joe: that's a question Ronnie: you love heroics Joe: [show up at this point] Ronnie: [what a fun little reunion that'll be] Joe: [so, we know the vibes but also do we wanna pitch it out] Ronnie: [we totally can for our own amusement/in case a moment or something happens again] Joe: [so obviously he gets there and she's gonna be fuming hens, yeah?] Ronnie: [she gonna fight him lol enjoy that random peeps] Ronnie: [but that works cos like if someone takes that seriously instead of realising we just flirting with each other then they gotta go] Joe: [go away for some alone time to take your drugs somewhere, we voting beach] Ronnie: [yeah because realistically nobody will be there at this o clock unless they are likewise up for shady shit so it works for them as well as being romantic for us because has she been to the beach before probably not] Joe: [so unintentionallly wholesome] Ronnie: [try not to freak out immediately about that this time lads] Joe: [or OD again] Ronnie: [or freeze to death because when are you ever dressed for the weather gal] Joe: [have to stay close purely for warmth whoops] Ronnie: [can't pretend you're angry enough to be at the other end of the beach its not that deep] Joe: [shame it'll be too late to get fish n chips or something beach related but you can skim stones] Ronnie: [I wonder if there's anywhere you could break into because always a mood] Joe: [on a lot of seafronts they have those shelter moments that are boarded up you know what I mean] Ronnie: [yeah that was what I had in mind] Joe: [was that tracy beaker when jess and that girl were snuggled in there and tracy thought it was a lad lollol] Ronnie: [I loved that bit] Joe: [soz i've forgotten your name but that whole character and vibe was a mood, buzzing for the show/movie whatever they're doing] Ronnie: [a child Tess mood 100%] Joe: [fosho fosho, you're gonna have to sleep on this beach/his car 'cos not letting you drive in that state for that long yet tah] Ronnie: [we all know you're gonna be snuggling and I'm here for it, maybe you can get fish and chips in the am/when you wake up] Joe: [for breakfast lol, get all the sugary snacks as well like candy floss doughnuts, casual binge here like neither of you clearly eats much day to day] Ronnie: [healthwise you've both got bigger problems so we can allow it] Joe: [sugar high, living for unintentional wholesomeness lol] Ronnie: [love the childlike vibe always] Joe: [when I go the hunstanton with the gals, which is like, scummy seaside vibes you know, there's always rides there, but also there was like a tattoo hut where you could get actual tattoos for like a fiver and it looks so dubious lol] Ronnie: [omg that is amazing and we must] Joe: [you could get piercings too which might have him do just to mess with it] Ronnie: [we know she already has so likewise not gonna resist getting another, the more extra the better though placement wise cos we do love to shock joseph with our endeavours] Ronnie: [whack a tit out casually or whatever like] Joe: [lmao, dreading these infections hens] Ronnie: [I went to margate and all I got was this lousy tat and a persistent infection, put that on a t-shirt] Joe: [shame they only do flashes gals] Ronnie: [get some DIYing happening lads, we know that kind of thing is flirting for you] Joe: [the tension at this point like you've actually shown loads of restraint even though the opposite seems true lol] Ronnie: [lowkey not what anyone would expect of you which is why I like it] Joe: [mhmm not actually all doom and gloom even if we say and pretend it or what would be the point] Ronnie: [they'd actually be having such a lovely time and when was the last time either of them did, I'm fine about it yep] Joe: [truly, it ain't just about the drugs or any of the 'fucked up ness' from the off and that's the tea no one else be seeing] Ronnie: [mhmm and it wouldn't last how it does if it was] Joe: [connection huns] Ronnie: [the TENSION on this car journey back like don't crash tbh] Joe: [at least you can play really loud music and pretend that's distraction enough] Ronnie: [and play with your new injuries] Ronnie: [lowkey bonding even more about your love of music though we see you] Joe: [mhmm, when it's not all classical obvs 'cos you aren't Rosaline] Ronnie: [probably drop her at Charlie's hun cos otherwise something is gonna happen] Joe: [hope you brought him some rock but i know you did not lol, go make friends again, you go think 'bout your life joseph] Ronnie: [probably stole him a postcard that you've written some bants on to slide under his door] Joe: [that's cute, hilarious over-sexual postcard as they always are] Ronnie: [yeah exactly and then he knows you're back so you can talk or whatever you're gonna do to clear the air] Joe: [that's this era in general we know the vibe]

[estelwenadia]

WangXian's “We catch the same bus home and I always fall asleep, but you always wake me up at my stop” AU

Part 4:

Jiang Yanli felt her hand was once again sandwiched between two feverish palms.

But the warmth felt different somehow.

"Shijie..."

A-Xian?

There was a long, long pause, and then she heard some sniffles. Poor A-Xian must be holding back his tears.

"I'm so happy to see you again, Shijie," There was a grin in A-Xian's voice, but Jiang Yanli could imagine it tremble. "I thought I would never see you again."

A-Xian still tried to smile despite the pain he must have felt. Jiang Yanli wished she could open her eyes. Hug both of her brothers tight. Tell them that she was doing fine. Cook for them their favourite soup.

If only she could move...

"I don't know what Doctor Lan has been telling Jiang Cheng, until he agreed to finally let me see you," A-Xian continued quietly. "I thought he hated me so much. I mean, he has every right to."

Oh, A-Xian, A-Cheng would never hate you.

"I can still remember that particular day I was brought home by Uncle Jiang. Jiang Cheng had puppies. Because of me, Jiang Cheng had to give his puppies away. He liked me even less after that, and it got worse when Uncle Jiang wanted me to sleep in Jiang Cheng's room."

Jiang Yanli remembered that particular day, all too fondly.

A-Xian chuckled, but he sounded sad. "Thanks to Shijie, we made up after that. For awhile. But I still don't think he likes me very much..."

A-Xian...

"But I know you love me, and that's all that matters!" A-Xian said firmly. "That's why you have to get better, okay? We are hopeless without you."

There was another pause, another sniffle and an awkward laughter.

When A-Xian spoke again, it was as if there was no trace of sadness in his voice. In its place was happiness and excitement. As much as Jiang Yanli was glad to hear him happy again, she wished A-Xian was more open to express his pain, not just whip it away behind carefree smiles and careless laughter.

But her A-Xian had always been like that - smiling despite trying times, no matter how much pain he was in.

"By the way, Shijie, have you heard of Lan Zhan? He's your Doctor Lan's younger brother and he is the most beautiful person I have ever seen! He takes the same bus as me every night and be sure to wake me up just before I reach my stop! He is such a gentleman! And to think he is my regular customer in the café I work in! It is such a coincidence, right?"

Lan Zhan... Lan Wangji?

Is he the same Lan Zhan who you liked to tease back then when we were in school? You loved talking about him all the time. To think that you would meet him again after so many years...

But something still didn't add up.

Oh, A-Xian, don't tell me you have forgotten about him ever since both of you graduated from school and went your separate ways?

"But it is strange, though..." A-Xian was saying. Jiang Yanli could hear the frown in his voice. "I feel as if I've met him before... He seems familiar, somehow... But for the life of me I just couldn't remember! I can't believe that my memory is terrible! Maybe I should ask him..."

Oh, A-Xian...

A-Xian went on and on about his admiration for Lan Zhan, his obvious (to her) and oblivious (to him) crush on the younger Lan sibling, and Jiang Yanli allowed herself to float adrift in the darkness.

At least now, the darkness wasn't so oppressive anymore.

It was welcoming and warm, just like the lull of A-Xian's voice.

------------------

"Go home, Wei Wuxian. I'll take over from here."

A-Cheng?

"Nooooo," A-Xian whined. "I wanna spend more time with Shijie! And you are just in time! I was about to tell Shijie about the last time you were drunk and..."

"No, stop!"

A-Cheng, drunk? Jiang Yanli thought in amusement.

"You confessed to Doctor Lan that you like him!" A-Xian finished triumphantly, laughing merrily when A-Cheng yelled A-Xian's birth name in absolute mortification.

"It's all lies, Shijie!" A-Cheng pleaded. "Don't believe a word Wei Wuxian said! Dammit, Wei Wuxian! You promised!"

"I did nothing of that sort!" A-Xian answered cheerfully.

"Shijie, I'll have you know, that I found Wei Wuxian's sketchbook filled with drawings of Lan Wangji," A-Cheng told her desperately, earning a indignant yelp from A-Xian.

Really, A-Xian?

"Jiang Wanyin! You!"

Their antics reminded her of the times when they were younger.

Her entire being hummed with contentment.

"My, my, what a lively atmosphere we have today," a gentle voice drifted into the room.

A simultaneous greeting of "Doctor Lan..." followed by a not-so-subtle hiss from A-Cheng, "Quit it, Wei Wuxian!"

"Doctor Lan," A-Xian began earnestly, with a teasing lilt in his voice, completely ignoring A-Cheng, "Jiang Cheng here is very single and from what Lan Zhan had told me, you are very single too. Don't worry. You have my blessing."

Desperate to divert attention from himself, A-Cheng hurriedly said, "Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian hasn't gone home to rest since he finished his work today. Please bring him home. And ask him to show you his sketchbook!"

"Jiang Wanyin! That's not fair!"

Jiang Yanli could imagine A-Cheng childishly sticking his tongue out at A-Xian.

"Tit for tat, Wei Wuxian. Turnabout's fair play, pal. Too bad. Now get lost!"

"Wei Ying."

That voice must be Lan Wangji's.

"I'm coming, Lan Zhan! Shijie, wait for me, okay? I'll definitely be back! Jiang Cheng can't hog you all to himself!"

"Just go, Wei Wuxian." A-Cheng sighed in exasperation.

"Good night, Shijie! Wet dreams, Jiang Cheng! Come, Lan Zhan, let's go! Are we going to ride in your car or do we take bus together?"

"Bus."

Then A-Xian's chattering voice faded away together with their fading footsteps.

There was a long silence in the room Jiang Yanli wondered if A-Cheng and Doctor Lan had left too.

"Young Master Jiang, are you not heading back?" Doctor Lan Xichen asked.

A slight pause. "Just a little while longer."

"Your sister has been responding positively to tests ever since Young Master Wei has been coming by," Doctor Lan offered. "You have nothing to worry about. She will wake up in a matter of time."

There was a sharp intake of air, followed by a husky, "Is that so...?"

"Mn," Doctor Lan assured. "Would you like to return home now? I can send you home. My shift just ended."

"Uh, you don't have to, Doctor Lan," A-Cheng sounded flustered, much to Jiang Yanli's amusement. "I can go home on my own."

"It is of no consequence," Jiang Yanli could hear the smile in Doctor Lan's voice. "I can fetch Wangji after that too."

"Well, if you say so..." A-Cheng reluctantly agreed. "Shijie, I will be going home first, okay? I will come again tomorrow."

---------------

Familiar voices through her consciousness.

Voices she had not heard in a long time.

A-Xuan? A-Ling?

Her brothers' voices abruptly stopped, and each greeted her husband tightly. "Jin ZiXuan."

A-Cheng addressed her son with a curt "Jin Ling."

But it was soon broken by A-Xian's delighted squeal of "Jin Rulan! Oh my, look at how you have grown! But you are still so chubby and adorable!"

"I'm not chubby and I'm not cute!" came A-Ling's cross comeback. "And stop calling me Rulan! Let go of me! I'm here to see Mother!"

A-Xian chuckled, and there was a sound of someone's hair being ruffled affectionately. "Go see your Mother, Rulan. Doctor Lan said that your Mother will wake up anytime soon!"

Jiang Yanli heard a gasp. "Really?"

Smaller hands covered her own. "Mother..."

A-Ling...

"Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng."

It was A-Xuan's voice this time.

"What?" Twin spontaneous responses.

Jiang Yanli wanted to laugh. What was that they called themselves back when they were younger? Oh, that's right. Twin Heroes of Yunmeng.

"You don't have to pay for A-Li's hospital expenses anymore. I have it covered. Everything that has been paid for previously will be refunded to your various accounts respectively."

"We don't need your money." A-Xian's voice was steely.

"A-Li is my wife."

"She is our Shijie."

"And she is my Mother!" A-Ling's voice broke into their conversation before it could escalate into an argument. "Please stop fighting."

Well done, A-Ling.

Jiang Yanli focused her energy to wiggle her fingers under A-Ling's hands.

She thought she must have succeeded, because A-Ling gasped, "I think Mother moved! I felt her her hand move!"

She heard a clamour of footsteps, and then excited chorus of her name.

Jiang Yanli, you are the daughter of the Jiang Household. Attempt the Impossible. Open your eyes now! You have been asleep long enough.

She fought her eyes open.

"Her eyes are twitching!

She blinked. At first, the darkness struggled to stay, but it eventually gave way to pure brightness, then the brightness gradually faded away to reveal the relieved, teary faces of her loved ones.

"Shijie!" "A-Li!" "Mother!"

Jiang Yanli broke into a wan smile.

"I'm home."

[the-firebird69]

The Rum Runner Island Hopper 500

500 miles of mixed terrain and it is sand and dirt to water to sand and dirt to Pavement to send in dirt to water across many islands to the Dominican Republic where the finishes but tomorrow is just to the Grand Bahamas the West Grand Bahamas actually and we have the airport as a landing place and we're setting up now with real buildings which are ancillary for health and for rest and recuperation and to ship the bikes back I think we're going to do it one way because just to see how it goes and the next day we might do it both ways but we are setting up Hilo pads and other things for emergency services and we're going to have cooling base buildings and cooling cuts and we can have a whole bunch of camp Sim campers out there and it's going to be very nice but it is a formal race and tomorrow is an exhibition only and there's no prizes and there might be some private wagers and but it's just for fun and to work The kinks out and to sit and meet and figure out how to make the race work.

As of now I'll agree that it's limited to the Hard knock kicker 5150 three Enduro version only and that is because of the look and the style but mainly it's because on the Dominican Republic we have several plants there and we're building this bike and one of them is up tonight and it's a mass production line and we're also producing parts there and we are producing tons of them for up in Orlando Florida for Sebastian and others who are running the plant same people we mentioned and their assembling the bikes there and all sorts of Hard knock kicker 5150 and it is a business and they're making money and they're opening them in other places as well now it is a very smooth operation you supply the equipment and we supply other things that are ancillary Jackson lifts and all sorts of products that are for safety and health and intercoms and practically the whole building system and we can retrofit in an old building or provide a new one and they are running theirs and they built several of them all over Florida and they're building more now and it's going to be a bike that he'll probably be able to buy because he's sort of had the idea to have them do it and Sebastian's been pretty kind and he's been kind enough to drive them around and for a rather than a small money and Chris decided to give him a little bit more then Chris said I don't have much money but he understands that it's ridiculously small amount of money he has and people trying to get him his money but it's proven to be difficult and here we go tomorrow for the race we've agreed on a Time 11:00 a.m. for a check-in and we're going to start the race at 12:00 noon and at check-in we're going to inspect the bikes we're going to inspect the gasoline and make sure that the bike is safe and make sure it's sturdy and make sure it will of course do the job pretty much the whole distance we don't want unfortunately it's not an amateur race you may practice on your own and you may try afterwards like the English channel but we we really don't want a lot of amateurs down there this is for a professional race and we are welcoming sponsors the other riders for welcoming sponsors and if you need a spark plug or Red Bull or Budweiser or Wicked ale and he's going to sponsor her and The witches Brew and she's smiling and laughing because she's never had a sponsor from us and he said that's okay I just want something else but most of my advances are kind of cookie Antonio my invention you can put a patch on and she says okay and we're going to do that too and they atonium sponsor and it's the toy making company so my husband's doing it and I agree I accept thank you and you're welcome and I think invited several bikes and outfit them several different ways and by the time you sign up to do the exhibition you'll be on the fastest one and I agree so we'll get back going and of course I'm going to sponsor you with poor pirate that would be for all these poor Pirates going to be following you and seeing the big poor pirate emblem in the back that's for one on mine if you want to sponsor me no I can just put it on there...lol. no I will I'll pick a sponsor you'll like it okay and I'm going to leave room for women's products I guess I forgot about that almost and then we have something to make up maybe Kat Von D could her tat shop. I agree with that one too and Ken wants to put a sponsor in and accept it so getting all these sponsors because I probably need some help and you can help me engineer and design it we'll work on it together you have several ideas and it has to lock up and it has to go fast you have to be aerodynamic so I sort of understand what you're saying it's going to have lift to go fast in the road 80 miles an hour I'll take it off

Hera Zues

We like it and Fred is sponsoring me I feel great I feel like just sitting here and waiting for something like some beef stew or something not beefing it though so I'm getting psyched and we're going to spend it on some r&d and might do this idea and making a few bikes and testing them see when which one's work and the dirt end of it will come later but we really need to account for that and she's right and he's right so they're kind of fly bike if you put the right paddle in

Thor Freya

What kind of idiot is coming up with this race and there's going to be these bug legs address they're Wicked far down so I'm going to go ahead and sponsor myself no here comes Lori she's sponsoring me she's got her a book company and she's going to buy a bike and I'm going to have a few she says that I can buy one and I'll fit it and another sponsor from her a big company and she's going to buy one and build that and I'm going to sponsor her and we're going to wear these outfits with the sponsors on them it's going to be a lot of fun it's going to be a famous race and he's got alcohol on there and I just discovered something this is where Rum Runner comes from that blows up one of my ships so I better get in there okay who's Rum Runner I think it's this gay boy next to me Chris says I might have to get you a gay boy

Mac daddy or it could be Jason so Justin's helping with that

I'm in all in and it's going to help out because it's pointing out this thing that's going on probably tonight and it's going to help us out with the issues oh you're good we're going to drink her own blood no no he says this is a Rum run so each of us probably has to have a little rum case attached to the bike and it's not with rum in it probably has some emergency flotation device but it'll look like rum and we suddenly agree with him it'll float the bike and you can hang on to it so we're going to go ahead and do that make it sturdy and design it and build it we'll have it for tomorrow tons of people have site I've never seen anything like this it's going to be so damned weird it's not Tommy doing it quite a bit alone but this is a race and it's a race it's going to be across several islands all the way to the Dominican Republic it is the weirdest thing they've ever seen so he's going to call his brother on the joker line it is going to ask him to pump out a whole bunch of Hard knock kick her 5150s after you use the spies to steal the design cuz he got him out of jail and from Dominican and if he does that he's going to ship over the cigar so he can sell them from there it's agreed to he can send over like 5 million refugees and see how many make he says that sucks and he says I'm sorry old friend I can't accept the cigars from off Island it's just tradition that they have to come from here Cuba and he agrees with the JC says. So we're going to do this it's going to be a lot of fun this is an amazing race what an amazing race it's like the Baja 500 but it's a lot more fun like that humbug

Thor

What an idiot but he's our idiot and no I mean you CAA

Freya

Okay hold the phone why are you calling you an idiot he's a genius

Hera

It's very smart but he's got us doing this stupid stuff instead of work but he says that you need a break and if you don't have one we're going to turn into the evidence or Scrooge and Scrooge everybody so I don't like that and he's right it's a little bit forward and odd and I should have said it but I did and I kind of meant it but now I see what you're saying it is in a weird time and it's going to a decent idea it's a little bit off but we have engineers and stuff you know but we're racing it's only exhibition okay

Freya

Ok close enough we're going to have to Ward you off I'm going to have to get involved he's waiting like a lady or something so I get that Jesse can pull it off cuz ghwv can help you agree with that it's kind of a cool idea that other stuff too that'd be great

Hera Zues

[fuck-customers]

This is very much a "fuck co-workers". This is long, so sorry about that. So I work at a dry cleaners. And for over a year I was the opener and basically almost manager at the store I work at. I got to lose all of my hours and my checks get cut almost in half or less because my co-workers fucking suck. What we basically do where I work is tag in the dirty clothes customers bring in(so we know who it belongs too), and give people back their finished clothes orders. We don't clean any of the clothes where I work. We do pillows but those are easy to do. Tagging things in, keeping the store clean and doing the cash out at the end of the night. But the morning person has to handle repairs(such as button fixes), doing the pillows(the night people are lazy assholes and won't do them) assembling the clean clothes that come back(putting them on the right orders, crossing off finished orders, putting finished orders in the computer and then putting them away. and if dirty clothes get dropped off while i'm assembling, i have to finish assembling BEFORE tagging them in) along with tagging in things that come in during the day, along with delinting clothes(like sweaters and wool jackets and shit) and doing foamies(things on hangers that prevent the clothes from falling off. the people who clean the clothes are too lazy to do it themselves and make us do it).

For a while, everything was running smoothly. One of my co-workers, we'll name her Bob, would complain to our manager if she had more than five bags to do. One day she texts me on a Tuesday(which was one of our busiest fucking days cause it was discount day) and tells me "when there's a lot you should stay to help me". I had already been there for eight hours, and I had already done my job. Anything not done from the morning shift IS the night person's job to do. And I explain to her what our manager had told me. That I have to finish assembling, and if I finish I can tag shit in. (But normally when she comes in things aren't even put away and I'm not done) I explain this and tell her that anything from the morning shift is hers to do. Now Bob, she knows how to do pillows, how to fix buttons and how to delint. She worked there longer than I did and was taught these things before I worked there. She was just in high school and could only do nights/Saturdays. She she's never actually worked a morning shift in her life(at the dry cleaners) and has no idea what being the morning person is like. Also a lazy piece of shit. And she argues that it's not her job and becomes a bitch about it. So the next day I go to my manager, show her the conversation(because I wasn't in the wrong. I explained to her exactly what was explained to me) and our manager had the exact same conversation with her that I did. But she was telling Steve(we'll call the manager Steve) that I was leaving 10+ bags of clothes for her to tag in. (Even when there were that many, there weren't more than five pieces of clothes in more than have of the bags total) We finally "stopped fighting" and were civil at work. She used to claim I talked down to her when I would literally start everything with "Steve told me to tell you this". But she would come in and ignore me when I'm talking to her, and telling her what's done, what she needs to do or doesn't need to worry about and wouldn't hear a damn word I say. Then text me later about things I already told her about. But we eventually got things sorted. But it also turned out Bob wasn't the type to do things as they came in. Which is what we're suppose to do. She would wait until the end of the night to tag everything in. On the bottom of the invoice that details the order, there's a time that the order was done. I could tell she was doing this because orders that came in at about 3'o'clock would be written down under the orders that came in at 7 in the book we had(we had to write down orders tagged in to be crossed off later when they were done). Basically she'd sit there on her phone the whole time. There was also a time when my mother was picking my up and dropping me off. And granted she was never there right when I got off, but like 20 minutes or so afterwards. Bob would do this thing where she would text me 30 minutes before her shift and ask if she could stay at the school longer to work on homework. She'd do this knowing that her school was 45 minutes away and she'd be late regardless. I didn't feel like walking home from work so the answer was almost always no. So I had to explain to her that I need her to be on time, and I also told the manager this as well. On Wednesdays she KNEW she couldn't be on time, and I'd have to walk cause of her ass, and asked to work every Wednesday. She also started doing this thing where she claimed a bag or two she left was a last minute drop off, although you can check what time in the computer it came in(and they were almost always dropped off at about five, and we closed at eight).

Couple of months later, we get two knew people, we'll name them Oliver and Rick. Oliver was in college, Rick was in high school. Bob was pretty much tasked with training them. She didn't train them or shit. They were always doing things wrong because she wasn't watching them. Then when she would watch Rick do his job, he would do it right when someone else is around but then do whatever the fuck he wanted while he was alone. But Bob told the pair that I left bags for them to do in the afternoon on purpose, and to leave bags for me. Now, added on top of the shit I had to do every day already, spending the first two+ hours of my shift catching up on the multitude of bags left for me meant there was more work for the closers to do when they arrived. It wasn't until Oliver started working mornings and realized that Bob was a lying bitch. But they weren't tagging in clothes correctly. They were putting orders under the wrong name or under no name because they didn't get the customers name. At the same time, the location that the clothes got cleaned at went from getting only our dry cleaning to our laundry and our dry cleaning and for about two months were two weeks + behind on orders. Customers were not happy with us and at this point we were losing about five customers a week. 

And Rick wasn't making things any better by having to be told everything about his job AGAIN every time he came in. Where to put the tags on shirts, pants, suit jackets. And at night, we have to put all of the paper cash and rolled up coins in a bag to hide that gets taken back out the next time we open. We leave the loose change in the drawer so we don't have to fucking sort it. For a long time, Both Oliver and Rick emptied the entire drawer into said bag. Until Oliver started opening and realized how fucking stupid it was to do that. No matter how many times it was explained to Rick or physically shown to him he still didn't get it. But between all of the closers, (and the computer acting up because it's old) the cash out that tells us if the money is okay(we're not missing any or something) and how much goes in the deposit had been off. Every morning and night the drawer is suppose to be at $100 dollars. For about three months it was over or under every fucking morning. Another lovely headache I got to deal with. And when it came to me telling the manager about these things, Steve would always go "I'm stopping over there tomorrow to talk to him/her/them" and then when the driver would arrive to drop off the clean clothes, a note from the manager would be there for whoever she planned on talking too. She never came to deal with these issues and sent letters to said employees. When it came to me working Saturdays(which I shouldn't have been because I opened every week), I was also suppose to train Rick. Out of the at least five Saturdays tat Rick was suppose to see how to open or close on Saturdays, he only showed up once. 

To top it all off, I was the only person not making $9.50 an hour. Last August minimum wage went up, and everyone else(including Bob) got their raise. Didn't matter how many times I brought it up to Steve or the owners, until Almost February I didn't get the extra .50 cent raise I was suppose to get. They still refuse to pay me the back pay(of over $300 dollars). So I get to play manager because my manager refused to come around, and I was literally getting paid the least among everyone when I was the only one doing my job. 

Two months into Rick working, Bob told me that on Friday(when we get paid) she showed up to get her check at 7:30 PM, and again, we close at 8 PM, and the store was closed. The lights were off and Rick was no where to be found, with the front door also unlocked. When Bob asked Rick about it, his excuse was "he had to feed his dog". When asked about the front door, he said he left it unlocked for the night driver to easily get it. The thing about Fridays is that the clothes don't get picked up at night. There is no cleaning done weekends, so our clothes from Friday and Saturday aren't picked up until Sunday. And Rick, had been told every Friday he worked(by me) that the driver does not pick up on Fridays. So the door would have been unlocked Saturday morning. He didn't even turn on the security system we had. A couple of weeks after this, Bob tells me about it. Asks is she should tell the manager. (At this point I wanted to bash her head in with a blunt object. LIKE OF COURSE YOU TELL THE FUCKING MANAGER.) So we had a meeting that very week, and Bob told the manager(and of course Rick didn't even show up for said meeting) and Steve tells us that it wasn't even the first time he'd left early. (It's like, so tell me, why is his ass still here then?) Then came Valentines Day. I was working in the morning, Bob and Oliver requested the night off so Rick was scheduled to work. I had a date(plus we open at 7 AM and close at 8 PM, I don't care how much fucking money it gets me that's 13 hours with NO break, NO food and CONSTANT work.) I wasn't staying. Rick calls Steve about 11 AM and asks to have the night off to take his girlfriend out to eat. Again, we close at 8. He could have worked AND taken his girlfriend out as well. He was told no. He later calls me and asks me to work, I tell him no I have a date(it was actually my first date ever. at all. I wasn't missing it for his ass.) He gave Oliver and Bob the same call. The answer was the same. Finally at about 2, one hour before his ass had to come in, he calls Steve with this story that his friend tried to kill himself and he can't come in. (Now if it were actually true, that sucks. But considering he spent all day trying to get out of work, literally no one believed him, but he said he wasn't coming in so we were fucked). Oliver was forced to work and I was almost late for my date because of his ass. Steve, Bob, and Oliver and I all discussed that he was probably lying, but we had no way to prove it. Bob told him about it, blamed Oliver and I for suggesting he was lying(when everyone was agreeing on it) and refused to pay Oliver(he said he'd pay her what he would have made working plus what she was getting paid for, so double the money) because we were "talking shit". There was even one day he came in all pissy and ended up arguing with me over what is his job(just like with Bob), only I ended up telling him to shut the fuck up. I shouldn't have, cause that's bad. I shouldn't talk to my co-worker that way. But the little fucker pissed me off. To top it all off, the final night he worked, he left early again. But quit the next morning before he could be fired. When he should have been fired several months before then. 

Before Rick had quit, almost all of his hours had been taken away so he was only working one day a week. Bob had taken all of his hours cause she wanted money. She also had a second job. The week of said shifts she worked a lot, she last minute put all of her shifts on Oliver because I can't open and close, and for at least two months got out of working every Saturday she was scheduled. Oliver basically worked every Saturday for months. (She ended up not minding because she needed the money). Bob later then quit cause she wasn't getting enough hours. It was after she quit that Oliver told me Bob painted me as the bitch who just dumped all of my work on the closers.

But despite all of the hard work I was doing to fix everything that the closers fucked up, on a daily fucking basis, all of my morning hours were taken away from me in order for the manager to come back and fix what they did. And for months, I was only getting one or two days a week while Oliver and Joe(someone who worked with us for a while, quit then came back) got most of the hours, and yet couldn't do their fucking job right either. A major fuck you, double middle finger to me basically. Steve would tell me, "it's a circle, it goes around". No bitch it doesn't. I'm not to blame if they do their job wrong. They are. 

Also, sorry if things are all over the place.

[hannahindie]

Pig In A Poke

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam

Words: 6,458 (This got out of hand far too quickly. Worth it.)

A/N: This is an entry for Jess and Lee’s Crack Challenge. My prompt it bolded below. I am very excited to be able to participate in two of my favorite people’s challenge, and I hope you enjoy!

A/N Part 2: This was beta’d by the fantastic @pinknerdpanda. Thanks, doll. :)

Tags are at the bottom! Please let me know if you’d like to be added to my list. Feedback is always welcomed and appreciated! :)

The day started out so normal. You and the boys had taken a case in some nowhere town in the middle of nothing, had wrapped it up, and were just hanging out until Garth called you with something else because no matter how much Sam looked, he couldn’t find anything. You were far enough away from the bunker that the consensus was to at least take one more hunt before heading back for a break, so here you were with absolutely nothing to do. That’s never really been a problem for Sam, he always finds things to read or listen to that keeps him entertained, but you and Dean…idle hands, and all that. It was bound to go wrong at some point and unfortunately for you (mostly Dean, but we’ll get to that), a trip to the bar and the subsequent trip to a tattoo parlor put you both in a bit of a situation.

                                        The night before…

“Sammy! Y/N and I are going out, see what we can get into this fine evening. You comin’?” Sam shook his head, never looking away from his laptop.

“No, I think I’ll just stay here, see if I can find anything. If not, maybe we could go ahead and start back tomorrow.”

Dean shrugged, “Suit yourself, dude. Come on, Y/N.”

 You and Dean arrived at the bar a little after 10 and sat at the smooth wooden counter. Dean waved down the bartender and ordered a shot and beer for each of you. You both immediately downed the shot, and you groaned as the whiskey burnt your throat.

Dean laughed, “What a light-weight, Y/N. I thought you were better than that.” You glared at him, grabbed your beer, chugged it down, and slammed the empty bottle on the bar. You waved the bartender back over and ordered a second shot and another beer.

“I’ll show you light-weight, Winchester,” you declared as you threw back the second shot. He grinned devilishly, and whirled around on the stool to survey the bar.

“The playing field looks pretty good tonight, see anything you like?” You looked around, perusing the men playing pool and the ones standing around the jukebox and shook your head.

“Not yet. The night is still young though, my friend. No need to rush. You see anyone?” You watched him as Dean’s eyes swept the room. Deep down you hoped his answer would be the same, that of course there wasn’t anyone right away, but your wish was not granted as his eyes landed on a leggy brunette standing by the pool table.

“Oh, I just might.” He grabbed his beer and winked at you, “I’ll be back.” He sauntered over to the pool table and you could see him motioning with his hands as he leaned in close to the girl. She giggled and nodded, and Dean walked over to the wall to grab another pool cue. You sighed, and chugged down the rest of your beer. Nobody was catching your eye except for the green-eyed hunter leaning entirely too close to the girl he was showing how to play pool, and you had begun to think maybe you should have stayed back with Sam. You waved down the bartender to order another shot and suddenly felt someone slide in next to you. You looked over slowly to see a tall, blonde man looking you up and down.

“Hey, how’s it going?” You shrugged slightly and caught the whiskey the bartender slid over to you.

“I’m doing okay. How are you?”

He leaned his elbow against the bar and smiled at you, “I’m doing better now. What are you drinking?” You glanced over towards Dean, downed your whiskey, and slid the glass back towards the bartender.

“Whiskey, and maybe another beer.” He grinned again and slid money across the bar.

“Are you here by yourself?”

You shook her head, “Not technically, but at this current moment…sure.”

“Good, good. So, what brings you here…technically not by yourself? My name is Derek, by the way.” You looked over at Dean just in time to see the brunette nip at his ear as she whispered something.

“Oh, just celebrating a job well done. Always nice to finish up a gig, ya know?” You felt the blonde man’s hand slide gently down your arm, stopping as his hand covered yours.

“Celebrating, huh? Wanna get out of here and celebrate, just the two of us?” You slowly moved your hand back and grasped your beer.

“Oh, I think I’m okay here actually…thank you.”

Derek grabbed you by the arm, “Come on, it’ll be fun-“ He was cut off before he had a chance to finish his sentence, and when you looked up, you saw a very angry looking Dean standing behind Derek.

“I think the lady said she didn’t want to go anywhere, so it would probably be best if you just walked away now, man.” A quick glance over Dean’s shoulder showed an unhappy woman glaring at you. This was going to be good either way.

Derek yanked his arm away from Dean, “I take it you’re the one she’s ‘technically’ here with, huh? Maybe you should try staying with her and not flirting around with some bimbo you ran into, dick.” Dean moved in close, his mouth very close to Derek’s ear, and you couldn’t help but notice the intensity in his eyes as he looked at you while threatening Derek.

“As a matter of fact, she did come here with me, but she’s also a grown ass woman that can make her own choices and if she wants to go home with someone, she can. She also can go home with no one if she wants, and that’s okay too. I would suggest you move your ass along as she clearly isn’t interested in you. And if you don’t, I will punch you right in the throat, got it?” He pulled back and gave Derek a dangerous smile and clapped him on the shoulder. Derek looked back at you, swallowed thickly, and walked away without saying another word. Dean sat down on the stool Derek had just vacated and grabbed your whiskey. “You alright?”

You snorted, “I’m fine. He was harmless, I could have kicked his ass,” you said as you took a sip of beer. You looked over at Dean and raised your eyebrows with a chuckle, “Looks like you’re about to have a bad time though.”

“What do you think you’re doing?” the brunette from earlier practically screeched as she stormed over.

Dean took a deep breath and turned to face her, “Hey, sweetheart, I’m really sorry but I’m going to have to ask for a raincheck. My friend here isn’t having that great of a time, and I think I should probably spend some time with her right now.” He gave her the patented Winchester smile, but it didn’t seem to have any effect on her.

She crossed her arms angrily, “I blew off my friends for you, and then you ditch me for yours? That’s a dick move.”

Dean took a slow sip of whiskey as he carefully crafted his answer, “Darlin’, I’m sorry you ditched your friends, and I’m sorry I’m ditching you now, but sometimes you’ve got to figure out your priorities, and right now, she’s mine. Sorry.” He turned back to face Y/N and rolled his eyes. The brunette stood seething for a moment, glaring at you over Dean’s shoulder, then whined and walked away. You chuckled and took another sip of beer.

“That went well, Dean. Really well.”

Dean scoffed, “Eh, she was boring anyway. Whaddya say to us just chilling here for a bit, just the two of us? We don’t get all that much alone time.” You smiled at Dean crookedly, the alcohol you’d been throwing back making your face flush and Dean couldn’t help but notice how it accentuated the freckles sprinkled across your nose and cheeks.

“That sounds like a wonderful plan. Barkeep,” you slurred as you lifted your empty beer bottle, “another one for this fine gentleman and myself!” Dean laughed, and you raised her new bottle and winked.

 Far too many drinks later, you and Dean were well past the cut off line as you stumbled out of the bar and down the street.

“Y/N, what do you mean you don’t have one? You’ve gotta have a tattoo, every hunter does,” Dean scoffed, his words slurred.

You pushed him gently, “Not everyone has one. I do not have one, that is a fact.”

Dean frowned, “Well, that ruins my dreams a little bit,”Dean’s eyes widened and he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, his fingers wrapped tightly around your upper arm, “You have to get one. I know exactly what you’re gonna get, come on.”

“Dean, no! I don’t need to get a tattoo. It’s fine.” Dean dragged you down the sidewalk and into the tattoo parlor you had passed earlier on the way to the bar.

“Hey, this girl needs a tattoo. We’ve already got something picked out.”

You looked at Dean confused, “And what exactly is it?” He grinned and yanked down the collar of his shirt.

“Boom! You’re gonna get one of these. You need one anyway, and you’re just drunk enough that it won’t even hurt that much. Plus, every hunter needs one. It’s like a twofer! You just gotta pick a spot.” You put your hands on your hips and glared at him.

“Listen, Winchester, I…I don’t need a tattoo, okay? It’s fine, you know, it’s cool. I don’t….pssshhhht….” You waved your hand in his general direction and he started laughing.

“You’re afraid of needles, aren’t you? Big bad hunter, and you can’t handle a little needle? Come on, kid. Sit down.”

                                                 The next morning…

 The light streaming through the window woke you way earlier than you would have wanted to. Your eyes felt like they were glued shut and the idea of having to move was enough to make your head spin. You groaned as you rolled over and looked at the clock. 7:30 a.m. You slowly sat up and leaned your head in your hand. You couldn’t remember how you got back last night, or who you’d been with. Your last memory was of being at the bar, watching Dean with the brunette girl at the pool table. As you struggled to slide out of bed, a sharp pain on your hip made you gasp loudly.

“What the hell?” you muttered as you looked down and realized that not only were you naked, but you also had a tattoo on your hip that hadn’t been there when you left the night before. You squinted at it, somewhat hoping it would go away, but after a few moments of willing it to disappear you gave up. “At least it’s an anti-possession symbol….could be useful…” You stood and stretched and your eyes widened as you saw the trail of clothes that seemed to go from one side of the room to the other, and ended at the bathroom. You cautiously walked towards the bathroom, the sound of water running in the sink alerting you to someone’s presence, and you carefully knocked on the door. “Hello? Is anyone…anyone in there?” When you didn’t receive a response, you knocked one more time. Still, nothing. You took a deep breath and slowly opened the door and immediately yelled out in surprise. Sitting in the middle of the bathroom floor was a little pink teacup pig, nestled cozily in what you could only assume were boxers. It was looking up at you, it’s little snout sniffing furiously, and you weren’t sure whether to laugh or yell for help. “Where’d you come from, little guy?” You bent down to pick it up, and the pig began to squeal loudly and tried to get away from you. “Oh, come on, I’m not gonna hurt you…although I do find it odd you’re in my bathroom…” you said as you walked out of the bathroom still holding the pig. You slowed to a stop as you looked at the clothes in the floor. You recognized those clothes. They were clothes you had seen hundreds of times, in hotels, in the bathroom floor at the bunker. You had washed and folded those clothes more times than you could count. You stood silently for a moment, and then slowly looked down at the pig in your arms as it looked up and met your gaze.

“…Dean?” Your voice came out barely a whisper, and the pig squealed loudly in response. “Oh…my…God…” The pig squealed loudly again, and you could feel nervous laughter bubbling in your chest. Before you could do or say anything else, your door burst open and Sam appeared in the doorway.

“Is everything okay, I heard this weird squealing sound…” He trailed off as he looked at you, unsure of what to make of the scene in front of him. “Why….are you naked? Better question, when did you get a tattoo?”

You rolled your eyes, “That is what you’re taking away from this? Nothing else seems to be off with this picture? Nothing at all, Sam?” You clutched the teacup pig….Dean…closer to your chest and dropped a hand to cover your downstairs and glared at Sam. “You wanna take a picture, because that’ll last longer.”

Sam tilted his head, his forehead furrowed in confusion. He gestured towards you, “Is that…is that a teacup pig?”

You glanced down at the small, pink creature that was currently barely hiding your chest, then looked back up at Sam, “Yes, but also no…”

Sam made a face, “What’s that even supposed to mean?” He paused for a moment when he noticed the clothes in the floor, then slowly looked back up at you, “Where’s Dean? Did you guys…? Oh my God, did you have sex with Dean?”

You shook your head fervently, “No!! Of course not! At least…I don’t think so. I don’t remember much, but he was definitely with some brunette at the bar, and…that’s all I remember. But I’m pretty sure that’s not a thing that happened!” You weren’t sure of that at all, but you figured if you had, it would have been something you remembered regardless of how drunk you were.

“This doesn’t explain the teacup pig, Y/N. Or the tattoo. Actually, none of this makes sense. And you still haven’t told me where Dean is.” You glanced back down at the pig again, and it snorted quietly.

“Sam…the pig is Dean.” Sam stared at you for a moment, his eyes wide.

“What?”  

You cleared your throat, trying to think of a reason why this would be a valid situation but all you could think to do was repeat yourself, “Dean is the teacup pig.”

Sam ran a hand through his hair, a look of exasperation and confusion darkening his face, “How in the hell did this happen, Y/N?” he almost shouted, “In what situation do you go to bed and then wake up as a pig?! I leave you guys alone for one night-” A knock on the door interrupted his tirade, “What?!”

The hotel manager stood in the open doorway, his eyes taking in the scene in front of him, “We…we got some complaints of someone shouting and some loud squealing…is everything okay?” There you stood, naked as the day you were born, holding a pig, and all you could do was smile at the man. There was no explanation for what the manager was seeing. Sam just stood there, so you took a step forward, still careful to cover most of what the good Lord had blessed you with, and smiled wider.

“I’m sorry, sir, we will keep it down.” He looked between you and a very confused Sam and nodded curtly.

“Yes, please do that. Also, there’s a no pet rule so…that pig can’t stay here or you’ll have to…there will be a fee.”

You nodded and smiled sweetly, “We understand. Thank you.” The manager slowly backed away from the door, and with one last, confused look, walked away. “Sam, can you please close the door, and keep your back turned so I can get some clothes on, would ya?”

Sam quietly walked over and shut the door, then kept his back turned towards you, though you could tell he had crossed his arms. You gently placed the pig on the bed, “Just…stay there okay? And you don’t look either!” You grabbed some clothes from your duffel and hurriedly dressed. The pig laid down and buried his snout under the covers to hide his face, and you nearly lost it. Holding back your laughter, you pulled your shirt down, and buttoned your jeans. “Okay, I’m decent. You can look.” Sam turned around just as the pig pulled his nose out from under the comforter and Sam stared at it wide eyed.

“So that’s really Dean?” Before you could answer, the pig nodded and squealed in response. Sam sunk down in the closest chair and rubbed his hands across his face. “Seriously, Y/N, what the hell happened?” 

 “You don’t remember anything? Nothing at all?” Sam was back up and pacing the floor, one hand on his hip, the other running through his hair.

You sighed, “No, not really Sam. I remember being at the bar. I remember Dean going over to this brunette girl at the pool table. They were getting cozy and I was thinking that maybe I should have stayed at the hotel…” Dean walked across the bed and poked you in the leg with a tiny hoof. You looked down at him and he tilted his head and softly snorted.

Sam cleared his throat as he looked awkwardly looked between you and Dean, “Okay…then what? There’s gotta be something.”

You thought for a moment and gasped when you remembered something, “There was a guy…David, Derek…something. He came over and was hitting on me, being creepy, and Dean left the girl to scare off the sleazebag. The girl came over and yelled at him, and after she finally left, we kept drinking.”

“Okay, good, what was the girl’s name?”

You shrugged, “I never heard him say it, I have no idea,” you glanced down at Dean again,” and good luck getting him to tell you.” Dean huffed, then laid down and put his head on his legs. Sam walked over to the table and grabbed his laptop, then came back and sat on the bed you with and Dean.

“I don’t know if this is going to work, but we can try.” He opened a new word document and turned the laptop to face Dean. “Okay so…Dean, can you try to type her name if you remember it?” Dean gave Sam what looked like a glare (you weren’t sure pigs even had the capability of facial expressions) and walked to the computer. He looked at it for a moment, then slowly reached out and tried to hit one of the keys. His hoof was too big and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t type it out. He laid back down and sighed.

Sam slammed the laptop shut, “This is ridiculous! We don’t know how this happened, or why. You have no memory and Dean’s lack of opposable thumbs is not helping.” He sat back in his chair and sighed, “What else do you remember? How did you end up with the tattoo?”

Your hand drifted to right above your hip as you thought about what happened after the bar. Dean had scared off the creeper, the girl he’d been hitting on had stormed off, and you’d decided to hang out and drink. You remembered laughing a lot, although what about you couldn’t remember. At some point the bartender had cut you off and although you thought there may have been a good reason, you couldn’t remember what it was. You vaguely recalled stumbling down the street after leaving the bar, and then…

“We were walking back and we were talking about tattoos and I told Dean I didn’t have one…and we just happened to walk past a tattoo parlor, and he must have dragged me inside. We were pretty drunk, Sam, I don’t know what else to tell you.” You thought for a moment, then suddenly remembered another detail, one you hadn’t even realized was a thing until just then. “I saw the girl from the bar! She…she was standing outside the window of the tattoo parlor. I didn’t think much about it, the tattoo hurt and Dean was kind of blocking my view, but I’m like 95% sure it was her.”  

Sam nodded, “Okay, that’s something. What’d she look like?”

 After you described to Sam what you remembered of the girl from the night before, Sam left to check the bar and the tattoo parlor to see if he could figure out who the girl was, which left you with Dean. He had curled up on the bed and fallen asleep next to you, and so you had quietly turned the television on and absently began stroking the top of his head without realizing it. You weren’t sure what happened after the tattoo parlor. He had obviously come back with you, but everything after that was a blur. There was no way the two of you had slept together; that’s not how things were with you and Dean. But how else do you explain waking up naked, his clothes all over your floor, and finding him in the bathroom as a teacup pig?

“This is weird,” you mumbled as you stopped petting him, “Dean’s a pig, and my main concern is the likelihood of us sleeping together? Priorities, Y/N…priorities.” You settled back into the pillows and started flipping channels. You jumped as your phone went off.

Hey, I’m at the library. Identified the girl from the bar but struck out at the tattoo place. Gonna see if I can find anything about her. Be back soon. -S

You tossed the phone on the dresser and settled back in, the channel tuned to an awful sci-fi movie. You looked down at Dean who was still sleeping, his snout twitching as he dreamt. “What did we do, Winchester?” you whispered, “and how are we gonna fix it?”

 You woke up to the sound of Sam slamming the door shut and muttering under his breath.

“Seriously guys, this is weird…just…stop spooning.” You blinked, your vision bleary, and looked down to see that at some point Dean had moved closer to you and you had turned on your side which left the two of you spooning. His head was laying on your hand, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“Come on, Sammy, it’s not that weird. It’s your brother!”

Sam rolled his eyes, “First of all, it would be weird if it was my  brother in human form. It’s even weirder that you’re spooning a teacup pig, that also happens to be my brother.” He stopped for a moment and let his head drop, “That is not a sentence I ever thought I would need to say…yet here we are.”

You sighed as you sat up, shifting Dean off your hand, “Did you find out anything at all?” Sam took his laptop out of the bag and tossed it on the bed, waking up Dean and earning yet another glare from the  miniature swine.

“Her name is Cecily Jenkins, at least that’s what they’ve heard her tell people at the bar. She’s in there all the time, and more often than not, leaves with someone she didn’t come in with. The bartender did mention that on occasion she storms off before anything happens, but usually it’s a pretty quiet affair, no fighting or anything. As far as the tattoo parlor goes, I didn’t get anything. I think it may have just been coincidence, or you were super drunk.”

You rolled your eyes, “Of course I was super drunk, we both were. And it wasn’t coincidence! She was definitely staring. Is that all you found out?”

Sam’s eyes were sparkling as he tried to contain his laughter, “Well, the tattooist did mention that it was…um…” he cleared his threat, “…difficult to get your tattoo done.”

“Why, Sam?” Sam was fit to burst trying to keep from laughing, and he was losing the battle. “What happened?” Dean squealed in unison with your question and stomped his hoof on the bed. Sam couldn’t contain it anymore and nearly fell off the bed as he roared with laughter.

“Apparently it’s hard to tattoo someone when the person that brought them is attached to their face.” Your jaw dropped as you slowly looked from Sam to Dean, who at this point was squealing uncontrollably, back to Sam who was wiping fresh tears from his cheek.

“Excuse me, what was that?”

Sam took a moment to catch his breath, “She may have been staring, but it could have been because of the little show you were putting on. Apparently it got…pretty heated. I’m honestly surprised your tattoo is even finished.” He chuckled again, “How do you not remember that?” You looked back at Dean who was looking at you and shaking his head empathically.

“Sam…is that really important? What else did you find out?”

Sam flipped the laptop open, and began clicking through different tabs, “Well, I started to wonder if it actually was the girl, were there any weird disappearances or anything like that. Turns out that in the past three months, 7 other men have disappeared. There’s been no trace of them, they’re just gone other than a pile of clothes. So that made me wonder, did anything else weird happen around the same time as the disappearances? I mean, if Dean showed up as a…a teacup pig…then maybe these guys reappeared as something else. According to the papers, there have been multiple instances, seven to be exact, where random animals just appeared in strange places. A donkey in the middle of a bar bathroom, a pot bellied pig in a bathroom of a fancy restaurant, a giant python in a nearby hotel, et cetera. There doesn’t seem to be a pattern for what they turn into, it just kind of…happens.”

You looked at Sam with wide eyes, “How did you even put that pattern together? That’s….that’s impressive, Sam.” Dean walked over and jumped on the computer screen, closing it with a snap. You were pretty sure if pigs could roll their eyes, he would have.

Sam looked at Dean and scoffed, “Jealous, jerk?”

You stood up and started pacing back and forth, “What does this mean, though? Who is this girl and why would she do any of this? Why turn them into animals?”

Sam shrugged, “No idea. But I’m going to head to the bar tonight, see if I can find her. The reasonable explanation is a witch, but this is pretty tame so…maybe I can reason with her.” Dean squealed and kicked at Sam’s leg. “I get it Dean. You hate witches.” Sam stood and shrugged his jacket on, “I’m going to the bar. Hopefully she shows up and we can fix whatever…” he waved his hand at Dean, “…whatever this is.” He walked towards the door then turned to look at you, “And maybe try not to spoon each other while I’m gone, huh? It’s just…it’s weird.”

 Sam walked into the bar and waved down the bartender as he settled in at the counter. “You’re back, huh? Hoping to get lucky with that girl, too?” The bartender asked as he slid a beer over to Sam.

Sam smiled, “You could say that.” He took a sip of beer and glanced around the bar, “Does she have a normal time she comes in?”

The bartender shrugged, “It could be anytime now. You really think you can snag that girl? She seems to be pretty picky.”

“I guess we’ll find out.” He took his beer and walked over to the pool tables. It was still pretty early so he had a table to himself. He sat his beer on a nearby table and racked up the balls, then chalked his cue. With no sign of Cecily, he began shooting, not trying all too hard, and kept an eye on the door. An hour passed and he wondered how long he was going to have to wait, or if she’d show up at all. He hoped he hadn’t asked too many questions and scared her off. Just as he glanced up, he saw her. She was pretty, Dean hadn’t been wrong when he’d texted Sam last night, and he couldn’t help but stare. “C’mon, Sam…get it together.” He went back to playing pool, casually looking up at her occasionally as she sat at the bar, sipping drinks as men bought them. Sam finally walked over to where she was sitting and nodded toward the stool next to her. “Do you mind?” She smiled and shook her head. Sam ordered another beer, “Would you like anything?” he asked.

She shook her head, “No thanks, I’m still working on this one.” She seemed to think for a moment, then held out her hand, “My name is Cecily.”

Sam took her hand and smiled, “Nice to meet you. Sam.” They sat silently, each periodically taking a sip of their drinks. Sam took a breath and glanced over at Cecily, “I don’t think I’ve seen you here before, do you come here often?”

She nodded, “Yea, I’m in here fairly often,” she glanced over at him, “but I don’t remember seeing you in here…I think I’d remember that.”

Sam grinned, a slight blush coloring his dimpled cheeks,“Well, I’m new in town. Still trying to find my way around town.” He jumped as he felt her hand land gently on his thigh, and looked at her with wide eyes.

“Would you like me to show you around?” Sam nodded, and let Cecily take his hand and lead him outside. She quickly pulled him down a side alley, and despite her small stature, had him pressed up against the wall of the bar. Sam looked down at her with an eyebrow raised, and she grinned up at him.

“You seem very nice, Sam. Are you nice?”

Sam shrugged, “I like to think that I am…I guess it depends on who you ask.”

She ran a hand across his chest and let it rest on his arm, “I think that you are. I can usually tell that about a person.” Her hand crept up to his neck and he could feel her fingers running through his hair, “Nice people deserve nice things,” she said as she leaned up towards him. He let her pull his face closer and soon felt her lips against his, moving with his softly but with purpose. He broke away from her and leaned his forehead against hers.

“What do bad people get, Cecily?”

She pushed away from him and looked at him confused, “What do you mean?”

He tilted his head and gave her a gentle smile, “I know what’s going on…I know what you’re doing, Cecily, I just don’t understand why,” he said quietly.

Her soft look turned into a glare, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I don’t like that you’re implying I’ve done something wrong. I thought you were nice, Sam.”

He held his hands up as if surrendering, “I am, and I don’t mean to upset you. It’s just…you got my brother, and I really need you to turn him back.”

She scoffed, “Oh, that. You’re going to have to be more specific, there’s been a few.”

Sam sighed, “A little shorter than me, short hair. Probably had a green jacket and a flannel. He was showing you how to play pool-”

Her eyes narrowed, “Oh, him. He got what he deserved, the pig. You don’t just lead someone on and then go with another girl right in front of them. It’s just rude.”

Sam’s eyes widened, “You turned him into a pig because…because he rejected you?”

She put her hands on her hips and frowned, “He didn’t reject me, everything was fine until he had to go save that other girl. She looked fine, he didn’t have to leave me. He wasn’t very nice about it, either. Like I said, a real pig.”

Sam tried to hold back his laughter as he realized why the animals were so random, “What about the donkey in the bar bathroom, or the python at the hotel?”

She shrugged, “Total jackass. The python guy definitely deserved it, he was a complete snake.” She looked at him for a moment, her features softening, “How did you know it was me?”

Sam shoved his hands in his pockets, “It’s kinda my job-”

“You’re a hunter!” She interrupted him and started to back away, “Hunters have killed people like me! Is that…is that why you’re here? To kill me?” She began looking back and forth as if looking for an exit, and Sam smiled at her again.

“No, I’m not. I mean, if it were up to my brother he might want me to…you did turn him into a pig. But if you promise me that you’ll turn him and everyone else back, I’ll let you walk away. You just gotta quit doing this every time you get upset with someone.”

She sighed, “Okay, fine. But tell your brother maybe he should think about being such an absolute swine next time.”

Sam smiled, “Can do. I have to ask though, what exactly caused him to turn?”

Cecily smiled widely.

 You had dozed off on the bed again and woke to your phone buzzing. Dean was asleep at the end of the bed so you quietly slid off and walked outside, shutting the door behind you.

“Hey, Sam, what’s up?”

“Hey, Y/N. I think the problem is taken care of. I’ll tell you more about it when I get back, but Dean should be turning back any time now. Everything going okay?”

“Yep, we’re all good. You’ll be back soon?”

“I’m on my way now. Do you need anything before I get back?”

“The only thing I need is for us to get out of here.”

Sam laughed, “Same. See you soon.” You sighed in relief. You didn’t really care how Sam did it, you were just happy that he did. You threw the door open and immediately screamed loudly in surprise at the sight of Dean laying sprawled naked on the bed. Your scream startled him awake and he jumped up from the bed, his eyes wide.

“What?! Y/N, what’s wrong?” You gestured wildly at him, as if that was explanation enough. He looked down, then back up at you, a huge grin on his face. “I’m back, baby!” he practically shouted.

“I can see that! Could you maybe, like, cover up or something?” You were trying to avoid looking at him, but if you were being honest with yourself, a naked Winchester was truly a gift you shouldn’t ignore. You made a mental note to thank the witch if you ever saw her.

“Come on, Y/N! I’m not a pig anymore, it’s a cause to celebrate!”

You rolled your eyes, “I wouldn’t go that far, Dean.” You heard a knock on the still open door and turned to find the same manager from before standing in the doorway, looking between you and the still naked Dean.

He took a deep breath, shook his head, and walked away muttering, “I am not paid enough for this.” You looked back at Dean and both of you burst out laughing as Sam walked into the room.

“Dude! Clothes, man!” Dean grinned and disappeared into the bathroom with his duffel bag.

You sat on the bed and leaned back on your hands, “So, what exactly happened anyway?”

Sam sat at the table, and propped his feet on the opposite chair, a grin plastered across his face, “Let’s wait on Dean, it’ll be easier to explain.”

Dean practically skipped out of the bathroom and threw himself down on the bed next to you, “So, what happened, Sammy? Did you get the bitch?”

Sam shook his head, “No, I did not ‘get the bitch’, but I did talk to her. I don’t know what her inspiration was, but she was targeting guys who were…well, they were dicks to her. And apparently she just went with whatever animal they reminded her of.”

Dean made a face, “A pig? What the hell did I do to get turned into a pig?”

Sam nodded towards you, “Apparently your ‘knight in shining armor’ with Y/N made her feel a little less than wanted. She told me to tell you think about acting like such a swine in the future,” he chuckled.

Dean grumbled, “Act like a swine…freakin’ stupid.”

You tilted your head at Sam, “But that doesn’t explain why it happened when it happened. Dean was fine when we left the bar, it didn’t happen until we got here.” Sam looked between the two of you, the glee evident on his face. “Sam!”

“The curse didn’t start until Dean slept with someone.”

Dean’s eyebrows popped up and he looked at you, “Did we…?” You opened your mouth to respond but snapped it shut. Sam was bent over laughing, his hands in his knees.

He slowly stood and walked towards the door, “I’ll just let you two talk that out.” He shut the door behind him, and you looked at Dean, slightly embarrassed.

“So, I guess that was a thing…that…happened.” You glanced over at Dean and saw that he was already looking at you, “What?”

“Do you really not remember last night?”

You looked at him, contemplating what you should say, and then nodded, “I can remember some…although it’s a little blurry.”

He nodded in agreement, “Same,” he replied quietly. The two of you sat in silence for a moment, both waiting for the other to speak.

Dean broke the silence, “For what it’s worth…I really enjoyed what I remember,” he said as he looked back at you. You nodded, and found yourself staring at his lips, which served  as a reminder of the part of last night you did remember. He leaned toward you, and tilted his head as if he was asking your permission. You nodded slowly, your eyes locked with his, and he closed the distance between you. You were surprised by how gentle he was as he moved his lips against yours, and buried his hand in your hair. He pulled back, his eyes dark, and smiled, “Wanna see if we can jog our memories?”

You smiled back, “Absolutely, Winchester.”

Sam was just going to have to wait.

Tags: @trexrambling @wheresthekillswitch @pinknerdpanda @emptywithout @castielsbroken-wings @hiimaprofessionalfangirl

[generouslyteenagealpaca-blog]

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Where is my incentive to drive safely.. I might as well protect my NCB and drive like a f++king lunatic.

Cheap car insurance with different situations?

HI I have one car at the moment. I am looking to buy another one for my wife. I want to know how will it work out cheap to get both insured. is it 1) If we both can drive eachothers cars? 2)we have seperate insurances on our cars and we can not drive eachothers cars? 3)I can drive my wife's car but she cant drive mine.? Also how can we protect individual no claim bonuses aswel. Thanks

""Volkswagen GTI owners, how much do you pay for insurance?""

I am doing a project and I need to get 3 auto insurance quotes. It's due tomorrow, if it's not too much trouble could anybody get me 3 quotes? This is the specifics: 2008 (White) Volkswagen GTI 2-Door Hatchback 46,000 miles 2 Wheel Drive Automatic Help would be much abliged, thank you.""

Insurance Savings Plan?

What types of these are available at insurance companies?

Why do a lot of health insurance plans through your parents employers cut you off at 25 yrs old?

I'm a full time student and turned 25 in September. I guess once September ended I'm no longer covered under my dad's health insurance. I was surprised because I at least thought I had the semester to finish off since it was that way with my friend. But anyways, why do a lot of companies cut you off by then? I know a lot of people at that age are done with college, but there are still plenty who aren't. I'm still an undergrad, but what about the ones that are going to medical school, dental school, etc, that aren't even done with college until there late 20s if they went right out of high school? 25 is still young, and it's still hard to afford for most people at that age. Also, I heard about student insurance. Do most college have that for students to check into?""

Is your insurance affected by a traffic misdemeanor in california?

So I got a ticket today and got in trouble for two things 1) Expired registration sticker (I had a 2010 registration sticker, I was just lazy and forgot to put it on) 2) I don't have my year yet, but I still had two other passengers in my car. Apparently you can only take passengers under 21 years old in your car after you've had your license for a year. Anyways, my dad is really pissed about insurance rates or something. Do they go up for the ticket I just described? On the ticket, it said the only non-correctable traffic violation was the two underage passengers in the car.""

Price on car insurance for student?

Sorry my last question wasn't clear enough. I'm wondering how much money I would spend on a car insurance for my son who is a junior (16 y.o) and is getting his permit in th next week. If this helps, a car is a ford 2006 please help?""

Is my auto insurance valid after curfew?

If my 16 year old gets in an acident after 11 pm, curfew, is my auto insurance policy still in effect?""

Where do you get the material to study for state insurance test?

Where do you get the material to study for state insurance test?

Good morning! Can anyone suggest a good dental insurance plan?

We had blue cross and blue shield and were not happy with it! We live in a semi small area and the only dentist office that accepted our plan never called us back after 15 voice mails and NEVEr answered their phones so we never were able to make an appointment! So I cancelled the policy. We need some dental insurance. I need to take my son in to get his teeth looked at and my husbands. We live in FL and there just doesn't seem to be a lot that I'm finding. Anyone have a suggestion?

""Insurance whilst working In italy for 7 months for an aussie company, anyone got any good recommendations?

My job is travelling around I already have basic Travel Insurance

Insurance coverage question?

I was involved in a three car accident, the car that started it came in to main street and got hit by one car, consequently he lost control of his car went across the next lane and hit me. His insurance already told me they are taking liability and will pay both drivers' damages, but he said that California minimum liability is only $5000, so they are planning to divide the $5000 to cover both drivers. However the damage in my car and the other guy's car exceeds $5000. I thought the limit if indeed is $5000 it should be $5000 for each driver and not for both. What do you think? Maybe they're just giving my the short end of the stick or twisting things for their convenience. Anybody knows for sure how it should work?""

What is private health insurance?

My employer sponsored health plans were always referred to as PRIVATE. Is that just a New Jersey thing? When I look it up. The definition is an individual--not employer sponsored plan. There is even a commercial where thy refer to private or medicare insurance....which implies private is any other plan like blue cross or cigna. so can a group plan from an employer be correctly referred to as private.

Can I apply for California Unemployment Insurance?

i was working two jobs, and part time permanent position, and a full time temp position. i was layed off of my part time permanent position. i am still working full time at my temp postition, but at times i don't work that position for a couple weeks at a time. can i apply for edd now so when i have those weeks off i can claim edd. or do i need to wait until i have those weeks off and then claim i was layed off from my permanent job?""

If my gf and i have full coverage car insurance but not by the same company?

me and my gf have full coverage car insurance on our cars, but we have different car insurance companies. would she be able to drive my car as well as i drive her car? If we were to get in an car accident will our insurance cover it? even though we are driving different cars?""

Why is my car insurance going up if I have a good driving record?

I just moved about a block from my old rental (old lease was for 2 years) so I updated my address at my insurance. The policy went up to about 100$ a month which I don't understand because I have been told I am low risk and in the preferred age category 25+. I have a cousin about 9 years older who has multiple accidents, claims and tickets who only pays 60$. So what the heck is going on? I am comparing apples to apples on deductibles but it seems as if the insurance companies are punishing me for having a clean record with no accidents. I am just about 30 years old and only have one car a 2000 Saturn LW2 that I've owned outright for 6 years without payments. Even my younger friends who still party and drink pay lower than I do. Is it possible there is false information that the insurance companies are basing my rate on? The lowest rate I have been able to find is 70$ a month... but everything else is over 150$ per month......grr. I am a complete square and only drive up to 5 miles total a day for commute so I don't see why I should be paying so much. I was told by a friend that I should have had a price drop when I hit 26 because that is the cut off for DUI risk but it hasn't happened.""

""People under 25 years old, how much is your car insurance?

State your gender and type of vehicle 20 y/o male - 2003 Jeep Liberty - $150 in California - $220 when I was in Nebraska

Rough Estimate For Liability Insurance?

Roughly what would is cost monthly for a million dollar liability insurance policy for a lawn/landscape business. The owners of the business would be under the age of 25

Can i cancel my car insurance after my claim?

hi all, i have a car insurance policy with churchill and have recently written of my car.. the claim is being processed and i need to know some stuff. i am 19 and pay 1200 a year for my car insurance from sept2009-sept2010. I made the claim this week. i am planning to go to america in may for summer camp america and also due to there being a 900 excess ( god tell me about it) i wont be buying a new car and wont need a new car.. my car is only worth 1000 but i am claiming to recover the costs of recovery as i tipped it upside down. so therefore i need to know if i can cancel my insurance policy and if i can do that now or if i have to wait unil the claim has been processed. some people have said tat i might not beable to cancel???""

How much do you pay for motorcycle insurance ?

how much do you pay for motorcycle insurance in canada ,for a 300 cc motor . like the kawasaki ninja 300 2013 .""

Leander Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 78641

Leander Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 78641

Car insurance question?

It it legal to drive my mother's car if I have my license and the car itself has insurance but it is under her name, not mine? I'm in Illinois and 18 if that makes any difference.""

Where can I find affordable car insurance for a kit car?

I recently purchased a car that was given a kit car title instead of a rebuilt title and now I have no clue who will insure it! I live in Florida and the cars title lists it as a 2006 Neon. Geico won't do it.. they are who I have now.. Any info would be greatly appreciated!!

Whats the best way to sell life insurance without being a sleazy salesman?

Whats the best way to sell life insurance without being a sleazy salesman?

""Car wreck, how much is the insurance going to give me?""

I got into a car wreck sometime this month of May. It wasn't my fault, the guy made an early turn and hit me. My car and his car are now totaled. I was wondering how much money the insurance will give me on the newer car...? By the way, I have a 1995 Honda Accord Ex and its now totaled. I just wanna know how much they will pay me back? And I have insurace, but not full coverage.""

How much does insurance cost for a 16 year old newly licensed driver and a car?

How much does insurance cost for a 16 year old newly licensed driver and a car?

What is the AVERAGE cost of surgery to fix a varicocele without insurance in the midwest?

I have a varicocele in my left testicle. I have no medical insurance. How much does this operation cost to fix it? I know it will vary, but i want to know the AVERAGE out of pocket cost. This is in a midwest state.. Also, would doctors offer a payment option?""

What is the best insurance for a teen?

i need car insurance and health insurance but still not sure which is better. If this helps i just graduated and live in arizona and have a yukon

How much does a 16 year old pay for insurance in florida?

am going to get a mustang GT and was wondering how much will the insurance come up to be, and also how less cheaper will it be if i get an altima sedan.""

Question about insurance?

Hi. Why car insurance is cheaper for: policy holder with driving licence held for 1 month and additional driver with provisional licence held for 3 months than: only a policy holder with driving licence held for 1 month ?? could someone explain me why is that ?

How much have you paid for classic car insurance?

I have just bought merc e220 1993 and looking for cheap policy. Im over 30 female and got a wicked quote for fully comp with a named driver for 180. What have you paid?

How are young drivers expected to build up 'no claims' or experience when insurance prices are so expensive?

How are young drivers expected to build up 'no claims' or experience when insurance prices are so expensive?

Should my auto insurance company waive my deductible?

I recently was rear-ended by an uninsured driver. My insurance company assessed the damage at $1019.04, my collision coverage has a deductible of $1000 so my insurance company closed my claim and made payment of just $19.04. As I am a California resident, my policy includes the Collision Deductible Waiver. Are my insurance company therefore liable to waive my deductible and cover the full cost of my damages? If so, what should I do next?""

How much car insurance will cost?

i m 28 year female. i bought a used car for $3000. i have new G2 driving licence which i got last month.i have driver trainning certificate too. can someone please tell me how much my car insurance will be? i tried quote online, but i m not getting correct amount. please some one give me a average monthly payment that would cost?""

Just a question or two regarding car insurance? :)?

im a 19 year old female who is in college. i want to get a car but seeing as im a broke college kid money is a bit of an issue. how much would i end up paying for car insurance if im on my parents insurance(we have allstate)? i was also looking into getting a electric car, would that be more expensive to insure or should i just buy a junky old car for my first? tips, advise, and recommendations are much appreciated. thank you for your help! :) <3""

When is it too late to make a car insurance claim?

About 3-4 months ago I was parked in a supermarket car park. My mum, opened the passenger door where the wind blew and hit the car next to us. Upon packing the car, the passenger in the alleged 'chip' car stated that their car was damaged- the damage was barely even visible- something you would expect as a driver to occur. I even questioned whether that 'damage' was the fault of ours because the car was that battered. Anyway, 3 months later I received a letter stating that I was involved in an accident on the 21st of June. This date is also incorrect where this 'accident' actually happened on the 1st May (my car insurance renewal date). My insurance know this happened in this time as I called them to ask what may occur. Could anyone provide me with details of when it is the latest time to make a claim. Also, what would usually happen for the 'chip' in question since I know this day that it allegedly happened was a lie. (UK answers only please)""

""How much taxes will be taken out of $250,000 life insurance?

I am getting a life insurance policy pay out. Does anyone know how much taxes will be taken out?

Insurance will only cover 1000$ of dental issues?

My friend's parents haven't taken her to the dentist in 10 years. Now she has 21 cavities. She says that it will cost 6000$ and insurance will only cover 1000$. Is there anyway she can separate the fillings so that insurance will pay (almost) all of it?

How much do you reacon my car insurance will be?

I am currently taking driving lessons but in a few months I will be taking my driving test. If I pass my test my mum is giving me her car which is a 1.3 litre Toyota Yaris, I will have to pay for the insurance so I was just wondering how much it would be?""

Insurance on a 2005 premium mustang v6?

hello, my daughter is 17 years old and i am thinking about getting her a 2005 premium mustang v6. she is on the honor roll, hasn't had any problems or accidents as far as driving goes, and really doesn't drive much. we live in a rural area. how much would insurance cost? our insurance company offers some plan where if you're getting good grades, you get a discount. how much would it all be? i have her driving a 2012 volkswagen jetta now and it's very pricey.""

What's car insurance im a beginner on cars?

I'm only 17 in the future I want to buy a car a mini countryman I see a lot of car insurance ads on tv do they pay you or do you pay them

Should i get a policy on My Dad's car insurance?

Hi all My Dad has been with Churchill a long time and says they are brilliant. I have been looking at my own policys and they are around 2.5k-3k which is so out of my price range it is unreal.I have checked how much it would cost to have my Dad as the main driver on another Churchill Policy on my car and have me as a name driver,Protect his no claims and i am also able to build up my own for future use with Churchill. The cost of this kind of policy totals at around 750. Should i take this or could there be any problems in the future.""

Where is the cheapest Motorcycle insurance for a Honda CBR500R in Vancouver?

I'm a new rider buying my first bike. I am not really sure which options are available for insurance. I know ICBC has mandatory liability that has to be paid to them, however I'd like to know where the cheapest motorcycle insurance for a CBR500R is. Any help or info would be appreciated - Brad""

How much is car insurance for me?

If you are a sixteen year old with A's and B's, no accident/criminal history, about how much would insurance be on a 1968 olds 442 convertible with a V8? Please don't consider me stupid if this is unanswerable, I just don't want to put my information onto an auto insurance website.""

Health Insurance ?? I can buy on my own thats affordable.?

I own a small business and need some health and dental for me ,2 kids and my husband that is affordable and actually works. And that you dont have to be low income to qualify.""

Insurance question !?

I live In London Ontario and I'm 16 I'm about to get my g1 if I pass use my parents car for a year and do drivers Ed and if I buy a Honda civic 2009 manuel transmission, hOw much would insurance be ? Please list a bunch insurance companies and tell me the price thanks!""

Leander Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 78641

Leander Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 78641

Can someone give me an aproxiamate estimate on how much my car insurance will be?

I am 22 and I will be getting my first car soon. It is used and in good condition. I am wanting to put my mother on the insurance as well so we can both drive the car and be covered.

Car insurance confusion: Honda Jazz & Ford Fiesta... help please?

Hi there guys, I am sorry if this is a boring run of the mill question with an obvious answer, but I am seriously confused! I have two prospect cars to chose between, one is a Honda Jazz, and one is a Ford Fiesta, now to my knowledge the Jazz's insurance group should be around 11-14, (new 1-50 ranking) and the Fiesta should be around 8. A number of sites have confirmed this to be true. But trying to get actual insurance quotes, the Jazz is coming out cheaper, by at least 300. (This is with my details and the rest of the policy identical) I thought insurance group was the only factor of the car that changed the insurance, or is there another factor? I am a newly passed driver if that changes anything?""

Is a jeep grand cherokee overland reliable w.cheap insurance for 16 yr old?

15 now looking to get one possibly is it good for me

Will this affect my car insurance?

My car insurance took the money out of my account today and I completely forgot there wasnt enough money in there. But when I checked today I realized they did take the money out even though it put me in the negative. This is the first time ive ever done this. Will they cancel my insurance?

Cheap car insurance for young male drivers?

where is the best place to get cheap car insurance for a young male driver??

Can i switch over car insurance to new car/ Montana to Wisconsin?

I had insurance for my old car when i was living in Montana, liability coverage or whatever is the cheapest. I got rid of my old car, moved to Wisconsin and bought a new (used) car. Can i switch my insurance over to the new car i bought? I got my insurance through AAA> Any advice would be helpful>thanks""

""Roughly, how much would it cost to insure a 17 year old for a motorcycle?""

Hey, I'm sixteen, and live in Birmingham, England. I'm thinking of buying a geared, 125cc motorbike for when I am seventeen. I have looked around for insurance quotes, but none are straight forward, and as I don't have a bike yet, I can't get a very accurate one. I understand the only way to get a quote is to simply ask an insurance dealer, but I just wanted a simple, rough figure to get a price range for my self. If anyone can give me any information on price or how to get insurance, that would be greatly received. Thanks if anyone can help.""

Car insurance question?

my car insurance was due yesterday.. i'm 17 years old and yesterday the difference between my dads car insurance and mine was due and i forgot to pay it.. am i still allowed to drive my parents car? im going to pay it on monday thanks.. let me know

What can I expect for getting caught without auto insurance?

I recently got caught driving without insurance (stupid I know). The cop was nice enough not to impound my car, so he just gave me a ticket with a court date. I'm assuming I can expect a large fine, but what else? Anything?""

NY Full Coverage Insurance Rates?

How much is full coverage on any plan for a new driver?

Car insurance rate for teens?

I live in Detroit, MI so the insurance rate will go up just for that. I'm a very responsible student (I'm in the 10th grade). I would be using my grandparents' car. What would be the ranges for insurance roughly? I just want an estimate for how much it would be per year. Please help.""

How do companies determine car insurance fees?

im trying to build a database insurance system for cars only and i wanna know how to calculate different types of insurance fees for this category and if there are certain terms and policies i should consider

Motorcycle insurance question?

Hey, I dropped my motorcycle on the right side yesterday during a turn. It's a 2009 Kawasaki Ninja 250r. Two pieces of fairing were damaged pretty badly (right side and front piece). I just got insurance the day of the drop (before dropping it). Will insurance cover the damage? Also is it even worth getting them involved? I already have very very high insurance ($400 a month for a Honda Odyssey) due to previous car accident. I don't want to get any more things on my record. Will my insurance go up if I call them? The replacement fairings will cost me $560 out my pocket. I have a $250 deductible on the bike. So I would save about $300. Is it worth it?""

Insurance for a 17 year old on a Ford Fiesta 1.4 Zetec Petrol?

Hi, I'm currently 16 years old and my birthday is coming up in late May. I'm thinking of buying a car and I'm trying to keep costs to a minimum. As I can't get a quote on any insurance companies yet. I'd like to just know roughly how much I would have to pay on insurance for a Ford Fiesta 1.4L Petrol Zetec, it has an 06 reg plate, 3 doors and 49k on the clock. thanks.""

What is a very general cost for motorcycle (cruiser) insurance for a teen?

I am a 16 year old living in Kansas City, Kansas. I just need a very general quote for the annual cost for a cruiser motorcycle less than 600cc. A small bike with not a ton of power. I have taken a Basic Rider Course. I've never been involved in an accident car wise. Would it be wise to just have my dad insure it under his name? Are there any potential consequences for that? I only need liability as the bike is only worth around $1300. I have not bought one yet.""

What is the average life insurance amount people take out?

What is the average life insurance amount people take out?

Car insurance on a Mustang gt?

I'm a male, 19, years old going on 20 next month.. I'm wanting to save up for an older model (1999-2003) Mustang gt. I know there are different kinds of auto insurance agencies around but can someone maybe give me a rough estimate of how much i would have to pay each month for my own insurance? I've had no accidents or tickets/ felonies ever since my driver's license have been issued to me.. And i drive about 15 miles to work one way and 20 miles to college one way. Thanks!""

Who's insurance company do i contact the car owners or mine a driver with compresive insurance?

i was driving my wife car and parked it as i got out a car reversed into the car i am not a named driver on the insurance policy for the car but my own insurance covers me do drive other cars with owners consent. which insurasnce company do i report the accident to i was not at fault as was parked in a parking bay the other car aslo attempted to drive off

State Farm Car insurance payment question?

I have to make a payment on my car insurance 3 days late (it comes due 3 days before pay day, since they changed the due date on me). However, I don't want my coverage to be dropped. I called my agent's office and the girl told me she would suspend my payment, but that they might send me a cancellation notification. She said I should ignore it. Does this mean I will loose coverage for those 3 days, or do I have a small grace period ?""

What is the best and cheapest homeowner's insurance in canton georgia?

What is the best and cheapest homeowner's insurance in canton georgia?

Insurance Agency Tax Help 1120S?

I own an insurance agency. I have a seperate checking account for insurance premium funds. When we collect a insurance premium payment from a customer, the funds are deposited into this account and then we send our agency check to the insurance company. How are these funds treated on form 1120S?""

""Are there health insurance plans that are low premium, high deductible?""

I mean like a $5,000-$10,000 deductible or higher. I have a lot of savings but I'm going to have a part-time job for a little while. I'd like to just pay $100-200 a month or lower for health insurance. Or as low a premium as possible.""

Does Lowest Quote Wins really lower your insurance to $15 per month?

I saw one of their ads on a car today and was obviously intrigued. How legit is it?

Will my insurance go up when someone hits me?

I was driving on the highway, suddenly traffic slows down and we were driving at regular speed (65). i check my side mirror's, and the next thing i know my brand new car has no bumper. some idiot did not pay attention and he hit me. total repair is $1538. now, will his insurance call my insurance and let them know about it? will my insurance rates rise even though its not my fault?""

Why is my car insurance company charging me 2 premiums?

I go through farmers insurance and last month I paid a premium of 94.42 and now this month I'm being charged a premium of $83.70 plus a renewal adjustment of $7.27 does this mean my car insurance is always going to be this high? It was only $67 last 6 month cycle.

Leander Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 78641

Leander Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 78641

When does my insurance expire?

I have a Family HealthPlus insurance that I just renewed thus is valid until next year, I also just got a new job, and my employment insurance is in effect as of July 1. What happens next? is my HealthPlus automatically cancelled or can I use both of my insurances simultaneously? The reason why I am asking is that, I have a referral to extract my wisdom tooth from my old insurance, and would like to use it to do just that. My employer does not allow me to take sick/personal days off in the first 90 days of my employment, so I can't really do that between now and July 1, to schedule an extraction. Thanks a bunch!""

Can u recommend any car insurance for 6 months rather then 1 year ?

i may need to sell car after 6 months and that's why i do not want to pay insurance for 12 months upfront

Insurance on a 1275 gt mini for a 17 year old?

My friend has just passed his driving test and I'm trying to help him get a car and insurance sorted. He's determined to get an old 1275 gt mini. I can see why though. I've been getting insurance quotes and they're all coming back at over 5,000 every time. I must be doing something wrong. I'm just wondering if any of yous could help me and give me an idea of what it would cost for a 17 year old male who's just passed his test on a 1275 gt? Thanks.""

Affordable Private Health Insurance Provider Needed?

Could somebody tell me any company for affordable private health insurance.I need good site.And free quotes and many benefits.Please be honest.

Must I have car insurance?

I'm thinking about buying a car but cannot afford the insurance. Can I have a car with no insurance? I live in Amherst Massachusetts and not really familiar with the rules over here. Thanks a lot for any respond.

I need some help with car insurance please.?

About a year ago my husband and I sold a car. We went through the usual channels with dealing with the plates, calling the insurance company and so on. Well today we got our yearly insurance cards in the mail and didn't recognize one of the cars they had given us a card for so I went over the statement. It turns out they have been billing us for insurance on a car we sold over a year ago. We never really noticed how much we should be paying in insurance for our cars and only get our statement once a year with these cars. We only pay $1504 a year for what we thought was two cars and I had assumed that was pretty good. In fact we were paying for three cars and an extra $663 a year on the car we sold. I haven't contacted the insurance company yet but my question is what are my options here? Will they give us the money back for the year we payed on a car we legally sold and what do they need, if any, proof of that? We have paperwork of the sale but no real proof we called them to inform them to take the car off the insurance. Will that we enough?""

Need suggestion for health insurance?

Living in CA. Just want to get individual health insurance in case of any expensive treatments like surgery, hospitalization...so the insurance can have high deductible... In this case, should I consider supplemental insurance like AFLAC?""

Do i need a motorcycle license to get insurance for my motorcycle?

i dont have a license yet but i want to get all the paperwork done so i can start riding as soon as i get my license.

Getting car insurance please help ?

I live in MN And in a small town. And I dont want to ask for car insurance yet. Im just asking and estimate for me One male 18 2 tickets 99 s10 blazer 4 doors 4 wheel drive And if full coverage Would 750 for year be right ? Would that be enough

First car ideas? I'm going to be 17 so insurance is a problem what car is cheapest to buy and insure?

I'm not interested in a Nissan Micra or Ford Ka. Need a cheap car to insure and to buy..

Why do we need car insurance or why is it required?

I've been driving for about 3 years now, and I honestly cannot help but ask why are we paying $100 per month or more on car insurance, and some of us don't even get into accident at all? I mean that is like money out the door. My current premium is $625 per 6 month and it is a pain to pay it off. So, what I suggest if you get into an accident you are required take out a loan if you cannot pay and pay it yourself, wouldn't that make more sense? Instead of having to pay all that money off and in return you get nothing?""

How much are insurance?

I asked this, before but it was too general so here are the insurances i want the price of.. 1. Health 2.Car 3.life 4.home in georgia.""

Ways to make car insurance cheaper?

I know this question or something similar has been asked a lot but i'm 18 and i've just passed my driving test and i'm looking for insurance. I have 2000 saved up and all the quotes i've been given are around this, I know i'm not going to get it much cheaper than this. Does ringing up the insurer and saying you've been given a cheaper like for like quote etc. work in getting the price down? And what companies are recommended for younger drivers? Thanks :)""

Taken out insurance?

I am 63 years old own my house with a mortgage, I'm disabled and on benefits which I don't like. I can't get lower than that but I can afford insurance on my contents so why should the goverment bail out those people that haven't got contents insurance what do they want from the goverment new furniture what a cheek I say. If they do get that it is not fair for the people that pay for insurance's. After all they have to get it on there cars and when they travel abroad.""

Do I need a license for a 150 cc scooter in Indiana?

Do I need a license for a 150 cc scooter in Indiana?

How do I go about getting insurance at 18? In WI?

I'm 18. I work two jobs unfortunately with no insurance or benefits! How can I get health insurance? I live in Wi.

Renting a car with no insurance.?

Hello there, I'm over 25 and have a driver's license but I currently don't own a car therefore I do not have car insurance. I know that usualy when you rent a car and you have car insurance, you won't have to pay extra for rental car insurance. How does that work if I don't have insurance right now? Is extra insurance from the rental company expensive? Or would they even let me rent a car (only for a couple of days when I go to my cousin's wedding out of state) if I don't have car insurance? Any insights would help! I would hate to show up and not be able to rent a car and have to call someone to come get me. Thanks!""

What is the best(cheapest) orthodontic insurance?

What is the best(cheapest) orthodontic insurance?

Those self-employed: can you share a good health insurance that's affordable?

I have found only quotes over $300 a month. Those that were under $100 had a.. drum roll....deductible of over 10,000 dollars! I need health insurance, but can't afford it. Ironically, my dogs have it and I cannot afford it for me.""

Do i need insurance if im driving my dads car?

Hello. I was wondering if i need insurance if my dad is teaching me to drive while i got provisional license with the L plates on the front and back of the car? When i pass my test i will get my own car.

Insurance for new drivers?

hi i am about to turn 18 and for my birthday my mom and me are going to lease a car for me. the car is 20000 and its new. the insurance is crazzzy expensive but my mom is going to by a car to right when i am so is just keep that i mind for the insurance and stuff. what is the cheapest way to get insurance?? please help

Married Young and Health Insurance?

I am 19 and my fiance is 22. I have a few questions about health insurance. I am currently covered by my mom's health insurance provider and my fiance does not have health insurance currently. When we get married, what will be the best deal to get health insurance for both of us. Would I be able to stay on my moms until I am 26. I was just reading a few things. I will put the link here. Thanks! http://www.dol.gov/ebsa/faqs/faq-dependentcoverage.html""

Ticket for no proof of insurance?

in california best friend got a ticket for no proof of insurance at the time of accident, he doesnt have insurance i know everyones gonna write about that but how can he fix the ticket? he didnt know that his insurance was canceled his dad who lives out of state pays. ive read other questions on YA and one said u can take proof of insurance to the clerk before the court date (the judge) and they will disregard the ticket? if the insurance card says that hes covered from 6/30/09-6/30/10 would the clerk check to see if hes paid?""

Has anyone got car insurance with the Cooperative?

what are they like?, good service etc? would you recommend""

""Im 21years old,male with a mazda miata 2001. My auto insurance to too high. where can I get cheaper insurance?""

Im 21years old,male with a mazda miata 2001. My auto insurance to too high. where can I get cheaper insurance?""

Leander Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 78641

Leander Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 78641

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/zebra-insurance-quotes-matthew-williamson/"

[filosofablogger]

Okay, folks, here we are at Monday morning once again.  But this one feels a little different, doesn’t it?  I wonder why … ???  Oh YES!  There is no work today for most of you, since in the U.S. it is Memorial Day, and across the pond it is a banking holiday, I am told.  But still, it is Monday and so we will make it jolly, and then you can go to your picnics, fireworks, grill-outs, or whatever your plans for the day are.  Just don’t be expecting a ‘Jolly Tuesday’ post tomorrow as you head back to work!  I can only manage to be jolly once in the course of a week.

My friend, rawgod, took me to task a few days ago for not providing tea, as he had requested some time ago.  I explained that I had tried offering tea, but nobody drank it and it was wasteful, but then had to promise him tea and a naked cinnamon roll for today (I put some icing in a separate bowl for any who want it).  So, pull up a chair, friends, and we shall have a Monday chuckle or two.

Have you ever been driving down the highway and saw something airborne just before it hit your car?  Sure, all of us have.  Usually it’s just some small piece of debris the car in front of you ran over, sending it airborne to hit your car, hopefully not in the windshield.  Well, this very thing happened to a man driving on Interstate-5 near Lakewood, Washington.  The man saw something black go airborne, then felt a thud on the front bumper.  Thinking it was just a piece of road debris, the man drove on until about 18 miles later he decided to stop for fuel, and this is what he found!

The man called the police, who are checking to see if the gun might have been used in a shooting earlier that morning.  I had to laugh at some of the comments on the officers tweet, including these:

Oh dang the liberals were right. Guns are now attacking on their own.

Ban bumper stocks!

Imagine it had gone trough [sic] the windshield and injured the driver. That would have been a whole new level of gun violence😖

The Fulshear, Texas, Police Department received a ‘thank-you’ letter of a different sort last week.  The letter was from an apparently disgruntled child whose mother had been pulled over by the police …

“Dear Fulshear Police Officer,

Thank you for pulling my mom over because she deserved it because she took my phone away and I did not like it. And how she always brags about how good of a driver she is. And it just annoys me. And how that one time she got pulled over because she did not have a ezsticker on her window and when she came home and told me that I just laughed. And I also remember that time when one of my mom’s back lights weren’t working and she got pulled over.”

I feel a bit sorry for this child’s mother!

A farmer wants to know how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his border collie to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them and runs back to the farmer. The farmer says, “How many?” The dog says, “40.” The farmer is surprised and says, “How can there be 40 – I only bought 38!” The dog says, “I rounded them up.”

The State of Maine and its people are known for being somewhat laconic.  This holiday weekend, some interesting safety warning signs began popping up around the state on the electronic billboards:

What would you do if you decided to get tattoos of your children’s names, but the tattoo artist couldn’t spell too well and misspelled one of the names?  That’s just what happened to a woman in Sweden who had the names of her two children, Nova and Kevin, tattooed on her arm.  But … the tattoo artist was either not a great speller, or mis-heard the woman and Kevin’s name came out ‘Kelvin’.

Rather than spend the money to have the tat surgically removed, she had little Kevin’s name legally changed.  Fortunately he is only two-years-old, so won’t likely be too traumatized by the name change.

Kelvin brought back memories of the refrigerator we had when I was a child … a Kelvinator!

Okay, folks, it’s time for you to get out there and enjoy your holiday, your extra day off!  Spread some good cheer today, share those beautiful smiles, and have a wonderful day!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa!

This is sooooooo ME!!!

Jolly Holiday Monday!!! Okay, folks, here we are at Monday morning once again.  But this one feels a little different, doesn't it?