#but so incredibly disturbing at times

[eldritchravens]

WHAT IS HAPPENING

SO THIS IS WHY CLOWN POSTED A TON OF STUFF ON THEIR KOFI. SOMETHING IS HAPPENING.

So a few weeks ago some light changes had been made to the Welcome Home website and everyone, including me, was extremely confused right? There seemed to be a number of commands scattered across the site like "Write Hello." or "Write OK."

Everyone lost their damn minds because it was extremely confusing and nothing we tried worked! And no wonder nothing worked, because these messages weren't for us, they were for Wally!

LIKE??! OH MY GOD???

At first I thought these messages were from Wally to us. Turns out, these messages were from whoever is managing this website for Wally to read and respond to. You know what this means? At least one person in the Welcome Home Restauration Project is starting to realise Wally is there, seeping through the site, and this person is attempting to communicate with him!

When I tell you reading this gave me goosebumps... Good lord something really important is happening there. Wally is responding to the person managing the website. And this person is realizing that something is very, very wrong.

The barrier between our reality and Wally's reality is slowly breaking. Fiction is seeping into our world.

AND THIS??? JESUS CHRIST.

I'm not sure why, but this right there made my skin crawl. The fact that Wally can just... demolish the laws of reality and flip an illustration on a website to show the "behind the scenes"... Where the illustration ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE A FLIP SIDE. IT'S A 2D DRAWING. He could have just flipped the image normally, but no, he litterally showed us what was behind the curtain. That shouldn't even be possible. It's terrifying. I am confused, fascinated, amazed and terrified at the same time.

This is all I managed to find so far, let me know if other things have been discovered!

[midnightdemonhunter]

But don't worry. By then, he wants to.

(@romanromulus :D )

[the-apples-were-monitored]

this is going to be a very uncomfortable and potentially triggering conversation so i suggest you scroll past if you have a lot of empathy because this isn't fun at all

also wanna preface this by saying i'm not interested in spreading conspiracy theories or "truther" claims because i feel that's incredibly disrespectful and potentially harmful to the people that need the most help. any allusions to unverified rumors will be presented as uncorroborated, not as fact (only bringing them up because i know that's the kind of rumor floating around and i don't want to seem like i'm participating somehow in dismissing concerns). because we simply don't know. and it's not our business.

i've had this bad feeling about amanda bynes for the past decade. it's the same pattern we've seen with child stars over and over again. the drugs, the mental breakdown, the conservatorship. but i pushed those nagging thoughts away. i didn't have the bandwidth at the time because i was living in an abusive household when her most public battles were happening. i didn't have the time or the emotional understanding to put towards what was happening to her even as i felt it mirrored what i was going through or what my mom was going through. then i found out about dan schneider a few years ago. i didn't really engage with the rumor and speculation about him - i was in my early 20s when this all broke and i didn't know most of the shows he'd been involved with except by the fact that my younger siblings watched them. i'd been an amanda bynes fan - hugely into the amanda show and what i like about you. my siblings watched drake and josh, icarly, and victorious. i didn't have the emotional bandwidth at the time to look into what people were saying. i knew it would upset me if i learned too much. but i couldn't stop thinking about amanda.

i heard about quiet on set from news websites. i saw the headlines about drake bell. it shook me to my core. the things i was reading were horrific and immediately put me in mind of what my sister went through as a teenage survivor of repeated sexual abuse by a man who was trusted with our care. she'd had a huge crush on drake when we were growing up. i wonder if she's heard about this.

this immediately made me think about amanda again. this time i couldn't push the thought away. i guess i'm finally ready to process the way this whole situation has felt to me.

the way people talk about amanda reminds me of how people in the 50s talked about judy garland. child star with incredible talent, far beyond her years, with incredible charm and personality and the whole world at her fingertips. everyone loved working with her. until she became erratic and had a mental breakdown fueled by drugs. (you could even argue there were parallels because both women were frequently typecast as the wholesome girl next door and not really allowed to break out of that infantilizing box.) and no one could ever think why. why does this happen.

i've come to believe that mental illness always has a cause. brain chemistry fucked up by trauma, whether that's long-term stress or a singular event or repeated traumas stacking on top of each other. the mind can't cope. i really, truly believe something horrific happened to amanda bynes. and i know people will say, well, maybe it wasn't dan schneider. she was doing fine for years after she stopped working with him. i want to make one thing very clear. trauma doesn't always manifest symptoms immediately. not everyone comes out of a trauma looking shell shocked. i know from my experience because i didn't have my breakdown until a year after my abuser was exposed and i'm still feeling the consequences to my psyche to this day. and i think it must be difficult for child stars to process this trauma. the pattern i've seen is the child star endures something terrible, gets incredible fame and begins taking on more and more pressure, then when this isn't enough to make them happy they turn to drugs. you think because they got out that it would all just go away? no. they were raised to play characters so they played those characters. there was incredible pressure to just play those characters because that's what the fans want. having struggles isn't part of the brand. it had to be especially rough on nick stars because there wasn't much separation between them and the characters they played. it was the amanda show. drake and josh used their real first names. the separation between who they were and who the character was was probably a very blurred line.

i wonder how long this documentary has been in production. tracking down these people and petitioning courts had to have taken ages. amanda was supposed to be at 90s con last year but cancelled due to illness and had another psychotic episode. 90s con itself may have been a trigger for her, but if someone had reached out to her or if she'd heard about this production...i could see that triggering her and making her relive the horror she went through. there are so many unsubstantiated rumors floating around. i can't speak to whether she was high on adderall during that interview when she was 12 (she could've just been a hyper child but they could've been pulling a judy garland on her and i don't trust these people plus she's said she got hooked on adderall when she was a teenager for weight loss but she may not feel comfortable disclosing if the studio has her under NDA). i can't verify if that side twitter actually belonged to amanda. it could be some sicko thought it was funny to accuse her boss of knocking her up and forcing her to get an abortion at 13 or accusing her father of various things.

but i get why she wouldn't speak up because people won't believe her no matter what she says. i went through something and people in my hometown still debate whether i'm crazy or lying for attention. my family did everything they could to put me under control and get me diagnosed as paranoid or delusional so they wouldn't face justice. (really don't get me started on how the mental healthcare system is used by abusers to cover up their sins.) i wouldn't put it past her parents to do that, especially considering amanda had a bad relationship with them as a teenager which sent her further into that groomer's clutches. she doesn't owe us anything because it'll start a firestorm that could retrigger her as people debate if she's delusional or scrutinize her past mistakes to determine if she's a perfect enough victim to deserve sympathy.

which brings me to drake bell. i knew he was the victim before i watched the doc but it still gave me chills when he sat down in that chair. like it felt like the air drained from the room. it was so obvious that what he went through has affected him so deeply and that he had no one to turn to. my abuser had so much community support, so many people making us out to be lying opportunistic bitches. i can't imagine having to carry that secret. i wonder if the people around him can pinpoint it in retrospect when he started being different. i want the other kids on set to know that it's not their fault they didn't know and that they had a bad opinion of him at some point. my sister and i were pitted against each other by the man who assaulted her and it's only with context later that i can see what was going on. i have no doubt that schneider employed these tactics so no one would feel comfortable disclosing what happened to them.

i admit that i cried watching the drake bell episode. that had to be incredibly difficult for him to open up about it after all these years and i hope he can get some closure and that someone starts a support group for these former nick stars.

and to drake bell himself. you were a child. you had no idea what grooming looks like. most grown people don't seem to know what grooming looks like based on how they talk about these issues. you are not at fault for what that man did to you or not knowing how to handle it. you didn't do anything to encourage this and you're not at fault.

and to his father. i appreciate that you did what you could to try to protect him. my mother had a similar experience trying to protect us from my abuser but everyone assumed she was psychotic and had her put away. try not to blame yourself when you were the lone voice of reason and everyone else insisted you were in the wrong. i do have fault to throw on amanda bynes' parents to some degree depending on what part of all this is true, but i can't find fault with drake bell's father who did try when he saw something wrong.

and i'm sorry but dan being super nice to drake afterwards seems like an attempt to make himself look better and get another hit show. i don't believe for a second that dan didn't know anything or that he had any motives beyond making his own star rise. he wanted to churn out product, and couldn't have that product if drake bell was visibly distraught.

i want to know how many people have known it was drake for 20 years and said nothing. how many people were in peck's side of the courtroom and yet still had the audacity to think this child was at fault in some way. that's vile and utterly unforgivable.

i just want to end this by saying to leave these people alone. don't harass anyone who hasn't spoken up because they may not be in a headspace where it's healthy of them to say anything. they don't owe us any explanation of why.

[enjolrasofficial]

i saw you’re currently reading the captive prince and now i have to ask: do you think it’s worth the read? like i remember reading it at sixteen thinking ��what the shitfuck is this?!?!’, like i hated it, absolutely hated it. but i have no recollection of the plot or anything other than my dislike. and i have had people tell me that they like it a lot, so i’m considering a reread simply to either cement my dislike or change it. would love to hear your thoughts on it just out of curiosity!

Heyyyy omg thank you for asking bc i have LOTS of thoughts about captive prince and i'm ALWAYS ready to rant about it!!

okay so i have very strong opinions about cp (and i need to warn you i've read it like 30 times in the past 7 years). the thing is. most people who say they hate it read the book with the wrong context notion. especially the first book . which is exactly why i give everyone who wants to read it and asks me about it the full trigger warning list and the disclaimer to NOT read the first book as a romance novel. (which is why i get very angry randomly when i remember that audible sorts the first book into the erotica genre which it decidedly isn't imo)

cp being sorted into erotica makes me so mad bc book one is a lot of things but NOT erotica. everything that happens in that book is to show the recipient the worst parts of both the akielon and vetretian cultures and societies and their practices. it introduces the reader the protagonists (well mostly damen but i will talk about that later) and outlines their struggles and motives. so i usually read the first book as something akin to a thriller and/or critique of the society bc nothing that happens in the first book is happy or sweet or erotic or lighthearted or romantic. it's all terrible, terrifying and just plain horror and i feel like that's also what the first book is SUPPOSED to convey.

book 2&3 are where the protagonists and circumstance both change. the protagonists learn and grow BECUASE they're removed from the awful court society and the circumstances they'd been thrown in by intrigues and fate. non of this change in them could've happened if they'd stayed in Arles. it shows the reader that the way they change each other and grow away from their respective cultures is a good thing bc both societies have MASSIVE FLAWS which are highlighted to excess in book one (and which is also commented on in the bonus short stories)

so yes if you read all three books as romance when you first read them i understand why you would've been disturbed by them as everything that happens in the first book is VERY disturbing and massive parts of the second and third book are quite disturbing too. However if one reads it under the prerequisite one would read let's say the hunger games (or any dystopian novel) under i wouldn't say it gets less disturbing but the reader suddenly uncovers a whole other layer of the book.

also i personally think that they get so much better (not in the sense of that it gets less disturbing but more so which makes the story better imo) with every reread bc you know so much more about laurent and his motives and his reactions and why he acts the way he acts whereas the reader now KNOWS the ways in which damen actively misinterprets laurents actions which is SO BRILLIANT bc it shows us that a) damen TRIES and he's a good guy but also that he's an absolutely unreliable narrator bc his experiences were so different from laurents and b) just how much laurent is struggling with the fact that he KNOWS and i love it i reread it SO OFTEN

also sorry this got a little longer than planned oopsie ly have a nice day 🤍

[heavencasteel420]

Does anyone have floating ideas that just kind of attach (and sometimes detach/reattach) to different WIPs?

[horror-my-beloved]

was looking up more info about Reg Cutty and i found out you’re supposed to bribe the Bobbies with scotch in order to carry away the Potentially Heinous Package…

well, i managed to do it without using Scotch, so now i have a new Strategy(tm)

approach the cart and hold X(or whatever your “search a body” key/button is), then- without closing the search window -pick up the… Package…. and just make your merry way to Cutty’s.

somehow, nobody is able to see the fact you’re carrying a Potentially Heinous Package that way.

i discovered this entirely by accident lol hope it helps y’all

[lovvelorrn]

i’ve HAD IT with men

[nyxi-pixie]

SORRY I NEED TO YELL ABT SMTHN REAL QUICK IGNORE IF U DONT LIKE REFERENCES TO DUDES BEING VIOLENT

thinking abt the time i was waiting outside my science lesson and some kid in my class straight up choked me against a wall (not in the good way. we were 13. and i dont like men) idk why he did it either i think i was being annoying or smthn but like. what the fuck. LMAOOODHASJFHUIA i fully forget abt this so often and then it just like returns to the forefront of my mind and refuses to leave for 8-10 business days.

[depresseddepot]

it's always so funny to me when I can read something other people describe as "horrifying" or "nauseating" without blinking but then I find a book that I've never heard mentioned before that absolutely fucks me up

[plague-parade]

i feel like we dont talk enough about how distressing and disturbing memory loss issues are. forgetting what you were talking about halfway through a sentence, putting something down and instantly forgetting where you put it. having to reread one paragraph over and over again because by the time youve moved onto the next sentence you dont remember what the one before it said. always doubting if your memories of things are real, not being able to remember important life events.

its so incredibly scary, it feels like your mind is constantly playing tricks on you and you start to doubt whats real and what isnt.

“i forgot” is treated like a lazy excuse when it’s genuinely such a big issue for so many people.

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

✨Sensitivity✨

I am an absolute SLUT for Luci’s wings so I wanted to write something with them :), huge thank you to @myhornybrainonlyknowsthis for the help 💖

Also I’m legit on a cruise ship rn, but @amberlouise473 knows I gotta feed y’all like I’m tossing corn to my chickens 🤣

Lucifer x f!sinner reader

Summary: You’re super curious about Lucifer’s wings, but neither of you knew how sensitive they were. You didn’t know how sensitive you could be either…

Warnings: 18+, smut, dry humping, ruined clothes, pet names, oral (f receiving), face riding, over stimulation, multiple orgasms

It was time for bed and Lucifer was still working. You knew he worked late sometimes but this seemed a little later than usual. You decided to take a look to see if he was still in his office. Sure enough, you saw him sitting down at his desk when you entered the room. But when you looked closer, you saw that he’d fallen asleep at his desk, his head resting in his arms. He looked so peaceful lying there, you almost didn’t want to disturb him. But you knew he’d feel a lot better if he actually slept in your bed instead of hunched over his desk. Quietly, you walked towards him trying not to make any loud noises that might startle him. You placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking it lightly.

“Luci?,” you whispered, “Luci, it’s time for bed, wake up sleepy head.” He moaned quietly, but your shaking didn’t seem to have done the trick. You shook his shoulder a little hard. “Luci, c’mon hon.” Nothing. You took your other hand and placed it on his other shoulder, shaking him even more. “Lucifer!,” you nearly screamed!

With that, Lucifer’s eyes shot open, pushing himself off the desk. “AAHHH!!! WHAT?!?! What’s going on?!,” he yelled. You never saw him so frazzled before, it was kind of cute. But what you really didn’t expect was to see Lucifer’s wings spring out from his back. It must have been an involuntary reaction from the shock of being woken up so suddenly. His eyes found yours and he breathed a sigh of relief.

“Oh, it’s you, darling,” he breathed. “You really scared me there! I guess I must have fallen asleep, forgive me.” You were only half listening to him at this moment, your gaze was still fixed on his angelic wings. You’d only seen them once or twice before, but never for long. It was then that Lucifer turned his head and noticed what had caught your attention. “Oh! Sorry about that, it’s a defense mechanism, as silly as that sounds. I’ll put them away-”

“No, wait!”, you shouted louder than you meant to. Lucifer cocked an eyebrow at you, not understanding why you had stopped him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just…I never get to see your wings. They’re really beautiful.”

A light blush dashed across his face, he gave you a shy smile. “O-oh, thank you! I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me.”

“That’s a shame,” you pouted, “I think they’re incredible.” You walked closer to him to get a better look at them. Their white and red coloring were breathtaking. Their length took up almost the entirety of the room you were in, and his office was not small in the least. A tiny part of you wondered if he always had red feathers, or if they had changed after he…

Perhaps that was a question for another time.

“Are they heavy?,” you inquired.

“Oh! Umm, I don’t think so,” Lucifer pondered. “I don’t really notice if they are. I might have gotten used to them over the last 10,000 or so years.”

“Can I…touch them?,” you asked shyly, averting Lucifer’s gaze.

He smiled. “Of course, love. Let’s go back to our room, shall we?”

Lucifer’s wings disappeared for now as he gently grabbed your hand and led you out of his office. Once you reached your bedroom, he unfastened his shirt and threw it off to the side. It made you blush, even though his bare chest was not a new sight to you. Lucifer noticed your reddened face and smirked.

“It’s a little easier this way, don’t you think?,” he chuckled. He walked over to the bed and sat down, crossing his legs in the process. He tapped his thigh, offering you a seat in his lap. You smiled and wrapped your legs around his torso, straddling him. “You ready?,” he asked with a little smile. You nodded your head eagerly. In an instant, his three sets wings appeared again. You noticed something was a little different though.

“I could have sworn they were bigger,” you puzzled.

“No, you’re right, they were,” Lucifer laughed. “I can control how large or small they need to be. They might have broken something in here if they were any bigger!”

You chuckled lightly. They were even more breathtaking up close, his scarlet feathers glistened even in the dim lighting of the room. You stuck out your hands and touched the top of his first set of wings. Unexpectedly, Lucifer inhaled sharply from your touch, screwing his eyes shut. You pulled away instantly.

“Oh no!,” you gasped. “Did I hurt you? I swear I barely touched them! I’m sorry!”

Lucifer exhaled slowly and opened his eyes again. “No, no, it’s alright, love,” he cooed, “it wasn’t painful. I just didn’t expect the sensation. Let’s just say they’re…more sensitive than I originally thought.” It was only then you felt a bump forming between your legs.

Oh…OH!

You quickly caught on to what he was referring to. And having you straddle his lap probably wasn’t helping. A small smirk crept across your face. You couldn’t resist the urge to make him squirm from your touch; the thought excited you.

“Well, in that case…” you smiled slyly, reaching out for his wings once more. This time, you gave them a slightly firmer grip than before. Lucifer nearly yelped from your touch and buried his face into the crook of your neck. You ran your hands up and down the tops of his wings, almost massaging them in a way. Lucifer was unable to hold back his moans.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, sweetheart,” he panted.

You loved the sight of him bending so easily to your simple touches. You wondered if you could break him. You began to shift your hips in his lap, grinding on the now very apparent bulge in his pants. Lucifer nearly sobbed as you ground your hips against him. You moved your hands down to his second set of wings to give them some attention. You could tell he was unraveling quickly.

“D-Dear,” he choked out, “i-if you don’t stop, I’m g-gonna…f-fuck…”

His plea only made you grind against him at a faster pace while continuing to stroke his sensitive wings. At this point he couldn’t even form a coherent sentence, only broken moans and gutural sounds left his lips. You moved your hands down to his smallest set of his wings, pinching them between your fingers.

“FuckfuckfuckFUCK,” Lucifer cried out as your movements finally pushed him over the edge. He bit down on your shoulder as he came, completely ruining in pants. Once he came down from his high, he looked into your eyes, almost distraught.

“I’m…I’m so sorry,” he whimpered. “I-I didn’t think that…I didn’t mean to…” He couldn’t finish his sentence. His wings disappeared from sight as he buried his head into you chest

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” you told him as you lifted his head up to plant a tender kiss to his lips. The small tears that had formed in his eyes fell down the side of his face, but you wiped them away with your thumbs. “Luci, please don’t apologize,” you soothed. “You never have to feel sorry for that! Did you feel good?”

Lucifer steadied his breathing, trying his best to calm down. “Yes, love, it was amazing. You’re amazing.” He lifted you off his lap and placed you on the mattress while he stood up, discarding the rest of his now filthy clothes. “But I absolutely refuse to be the only one being pleasured tonight.”

Without warning, Lucifer leaned down and crashed his lips into yours, filing your mouth with his tongue. You moaned against his lips, feeling as though you might be devoured by him. Lucifer tugged at the hem of your pajama pants, asking permission to remove them. “Mhmm,” was all you could mumble. In one swift motion, your pants had vanished and all you felt was the cool air on your legs. Lucifer brought down his fingers to your folds, loving the feeling of how wet you were for him. He captured your moan on his lips, but suddenly pulled his fingers away, leaving you to whine in protest.

Lucifer broke your kiss and brought his soaked finger to his lips, tasting your sweet nectar. “Mmm, you always taste so delectable, darling,” he marveled. You couldn’t help but blush at his words, he knew just what buttons to press when it came to you. He crawled back up on the bed and laid flat on his back, his head propped up by the pillows. “Come have a seat, sweetheart,” he teased as he pointed to his coy smiling face.

Your face became extreme hot as you crawled towards the demon king. You made your way on top of him and came to a halt when your dripping cunt hovered right above Lucifer’s eager smile.

“A meal fit for a king, truly,” he laughed as he dug his face into your aching pussy. You nearly screamed as his forked tongue worked his magic along your slit. He devoured you, making sure every inch of you was consumed. His lips found your clit and started to kiss and suck at it. He’d only just started and you were ready to snap.

“O-Oh my God, Lucifer, shhhiiittt, I’m so close…s-s-so close…,” you whined.

“God can’t hear you down here, angel,” he teased you before continuing to lap at your folds. He made quick work of you, the knot in your stomach threatening to snap at any moment.

“Fuuuuccckkkk, imcummingIMCUMMIMG,” you screamed as you finally felt your walls clench and spasm around nothing. Lucifer happily swallowed your juices as your orgasm started to recede. You tried to lift yourself up off Lucifer’s face, but he kept a firm grip on your legs.

“I’m not done with you, love,” he chuckled. With a snap of his fingers, golden shackles formed around your ankles, the chain hooked underneath Lucifer’s back. A twisted look of fear and passion flashed across your face. You were trapped.

“L-Luci…what are you-” you tried to asked but were cut off by another long lick up your sensitive cunt. A gutural moan escaped your mouth, you still hadn’t fully recovered from your orgasm.

“I thought it would only be fair to ruin you, since you ruined my clothes,” he chastised playfully. “But if at any time it becomes too much for you, tell me and I’ll let you go immediately, okay?”

“Al-Alright,” you stuttered, trembling from the anticipation.

Lucifer hummed against your lower lips. “I’ll make this a little easier for you, sweetheart.” You saw Lucifer’s form start to change beneath you. His horns had erupted from his head while his eyes shifted to a deep red and gold color with onyx irises. “Something for you to hold onto,” he murmured sensually.

Tentatively, you took hold of his horns and braced yourself for his next move. You didn’t have to wait long before you felt his tongue attacking your cunt once more. The grip you had on his horns could have torn your skin clean off with how tight you were holding them while he nipped and sucked your overstimulated clit. Before you knew it, your second orgasm hit you even harder than the first. Then your third, your fourth, your cunt was getting absolutely abused by Lucifer who hadn’t shown any signs of slowing down since he started. After your fifth orgasm washed over you, your legs had given out from under you, completely collapsing on top of Lucifer.

“No more…,” you begged. “No more, please…”

Lucifer snapped his fingers and the shackles around your ankles disappeared in an instant. You conjured up the remainder of your strength to push yourself off him and roll over onto your side, an absolutely breathless mess. You could hardly keep your eyes open. You could feel yourself losing consciousness until Lucifer pulled you flush to his chest.

“You did so well, my dear,” he murmured against your ear. “Are you alright? Do you need anything?”

“Sleep…” was all you could muster. Lucifer chuckled lightly, kissing your cheek ever so softly.

“Goodnight, love,” you heard him whisper as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. It was the best sleep you ever had.

~~~~

“I just think they’re neat!” - Me w/ Lucifer’s wings also Lucifer inventend pussy eating, this is fact, ALSO also something something handlebar horns

[piichuu]

♡ WANTING YOUR ATTENTION

FEATURING: toge inumaki, nanami kento, fushiguro megumi, yuta okkotsu, gojo satoru, geto suguru, itadori yuji

WARNINGS: fluff, gn!reader

TOGE INUMAKI

when toge inumaki wants your attention, he often uses touch rather than words. so as you’re standing in the kitchen, cooking dinner for the both of you, he will wrap his arms around your waist from behind and hold onto you as if his life depends on it. he doesn’t have to utter a single word for you to understand that there is no way he will leave you alone for the rest of the evening, but who are you to complain?

if you’re busy studying, he leans over your shoulder and kisses your cheek, getting a hum out of you but then a whine as you soon realize what he’s planning on doing. “stop distracting me, i really need to do this or i will fail my upcoming test,” you mumble, trying to keep your eyes on your notes, but toge has other plans as he continues to place kisses to the parts of your face that he can access.

“i really need to study, toge,” you mumble but the boy behind you shakes his head, not seeming to agree with what you just said. everyone needs breaks, don’t they? so he grabs your hand and gives you no choice as he begins pulling you towards the bed. getting to cuddle you after a day without barely seeing your face, plus having you sleeping in his arms is the perfect two in one deal. he gets your attention, and that’s what he wanted at the end of the day.

NANAMI KENTO

he has never been one to voice his wants. if he feels the need to get your attention but knows that you are busy, he will try to forget about it, not wanting to disturb by walking into the bedroom where you are, most likely studying or talking to a friend.

if you two are in the same room, watching tv together and you’re too far away, paying all your attention to the show in front of you when he would prefer you to focus on him, he will stay quiet. there have been too many times that he’s had this urge to just hold you close, but he’s been keeping to himself. it’s not that he’s scared to be affectionate because he knows you love it, but he doesn’t want to end up being too clingy, so he stays where he is.

one day however, work has been more tiring than usual. the bags under his eyes have grown bigger and his voice is hoarse after having to talk to others for an entire day, something he isn’t used to nor likes. the only one he could talk to for hours without growing tired of is you. he could talk to you for days without stopping. and now when work has been too much for him to handle by himself, he finally gathers the courage to sit down on the couch and wrap his arms around your waist.

he keeps quiet and nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, holding you as close as possible, just wanting you to play with his hair and pay him some attention now that he’s been away for so many hours. “are you feeling tired, kento?” you ask while brushing your fingers through his blonde hair. nanami nods and can’t help the smile that slowly creeps up on his lips as he feels your hand massaging his scalp. “yes, please stay with me,” he whispers and you smile softly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “i will, get the rest you need.”

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

just like nanami, megumi doesn’t talk about the want for your attention. the constant worry of being too touchy and clingy is what stops him, not because you’ve ever made him feel like he’s annoying but because it’s his own mind telling him that. he is in fact an incredibly affectionate person, at least when you’re the one who initiates it. he loves to play with your hair, press kisses to every single part of your face, run his hand along your back, massage your shoulders, kiss your lips until he runs out of breath.

when megumi wants your attention, it’s difficult to know that he does, but you’ve slowly but surely started to understand when he just wants to be held and cuddled with. so how do you know when he wants this? he stares. it’s something he does without realizing, but his gaze seems to be stuck to you when he wants you close.

as the two of you are on the couch with phones in hand, you notice him staring at you in the corner of your eye and immediately look up, flashing him a slight smile as you turn to meet his gaze. he’s quick to look away, suddenly realizing that he has in fact been staring and his cheeks begin to warm up in an instant. they only heat up more when you eventually move closer, now wrapping your arms around his neck.

his body stiffens but it doesn’t take too long for him to relax and put his arms around your waist, pulling you onto his lap so the two of you can hold each other. “you know you can just tell me if you want attention?” you ask as he rest his head on your shoulder, closing his eyes. “i will never complain about being close to you, i hope you know that.”

YUTA OKKOTSU

it’s not easy for him to stay away for you, especially not after a long day. hanging out with his friends does become exhausting even though he enjoys every second with them. knowing that he has you to come home to allows the exhaustion to take over as he knows that you will be there to pay attention to him.

however, sometimes you’re busy with your own stuff, especially during exam season. you often lock yourself away, knowing he will disturb you unintentionally just by sitting in the same room. those times that you don’t study, you are either sleeping or sometimes out with your friends. not having gotten your full attention for a few days does affect him, even if he wouldn’t like to admit it. maybe he’s childish, but you’re his comfort person after all.

so when you finally arrive home from school one day when exam season is finally over, yuta is quick to rush towards the hallway so he can wrap his arms around your waist, not giving you a chance to leave his embrace now. “missed you,” he mumbles, watching as the corners of your lips curl up into a smile. “i missed you to, yuta. but can you let me take off my shoes before we cuddle?”

he nods and allows you to do just that before once again putting his arms around you, walking towards the living room where the two of you lay down on the couch. “you’ve been busy for too long,” yuta’s voice is muffled as his face is now hidden against your chest and you begin to brush your fingers through his dark messy hair. “i know, i’m sorry. we can spend time together tonight, i’ve missed it as well.”

GOJO SATORU

gojo satoru is not quiet about wanting attention from you. it’s as if he craves it every second of every day, even when he’s gone to teach away at jujutsu high. he can’t stop bothering you by sending you texts and giving you a few calls throughout the day, causing his students to call him out for it as they have been watching him smile like an idiot at his phone.

when he gets home, it’s even worse, he won’t let you go no matter what you’re doing. for some, it might become annoying, even for you, but gojo isn’t just an annoying sorcerer who keeps going on about being the strongest, he is more sensitive than some might think and allows himself to be vulnerable with you.

some days, he thinks about his life all those years ago with geto suguru as his best friend and when he gets too deep into thought, his entire day is ruined. those memories will be stuck on his mind until he falls asleep and that’s why getting your attention becomes more important, he needs it to think about something else and receive the love he deserves. never in his life would he want to be vulnerable in front of anyone else but you, knowing that you would never judge him for anything.

he lies with his head against your chest as you two are in bed together. his eyes are shut closed but he isn’t asleep as his fingers are gently dancing around yours. you were supposed to cook dinner as soon as you came home, but gojo was quick to grab hold of your hand and pull you into the bedroom so he could receive some comfort and love. “we’ll order take out later, for now we’ll just stay here,” you whisper and he nods, squeezing your hand tightly. “let’s stay here forever, i don’t want to leave your arms.”

GETO SUGURU

geto is often subtle about it when he craves your attention. if you’re too far away on the couch, he’ll scoot a little closer and gently grab your hand to hold which soon turns into you leaning against him so he can put his arms around you and hug you close.

when you’re talking to someone on the phone, he will sit in the same room, a little further away while not letting his gaze leave you so you’ll know that he wants to cuddle as soon as you get off the phone. he never has to voice anything, the two of you understand each other either way after the many years the two of you have been together.

if you’re cooking a meal, he’ll press a kiss to your cheek and put an arm around your waist, helping you out so it goes faster and he can hold you for a while as the food is being cooked in the oven. he enjoys to hold you in his arms, knowing that you’re only looking at him right at this moment. he is your focus right now and that’s enough to make him smile.

“did you have a good day today?” he asks while stroking your back, placing a kiss to your forehead as you look at him with a smile playing at your lips. “yes, just a little tired now,” you mumble and he nods, acknowledging your words while sitting down on a chair, pulling you with him so you can sit in his lap. “then stay here for a little while, we have some time to cuddle before dinner.”

ITADORI YUJI

he is definitely not on the quiet side about wanting attention and affection. at every single moment he’s able to, he’ll wrap his arms around you and pull you close. some days he isn’t able to do that though as you’re busy with something else, often with school work. yuji isn’t allowed into the bedroom when you’re there to study, he talks way too much for you to focus and will only kiss you until you give in and rest with him in bed.

if he hasn’t gotten to talk to you or hug you for at least two hours, he might actually burst. school days are a little easier as there’s much for him to do, but as soon as he’s able to take it easy, you are his first thought. for some it might be weird, but in your eyes it’s just cute, especially when his eyes light up as soon as you enter your shared home after school.

he pulls you in for a bear hug, causing you to stumble backwards, but he’s quick to stabilize the two of you. “i missed you so so so much, we can cuddle now right? i don’t think i can be without you for another minute,” he mumbles against your neck while hugging you close. “please, i might actually die if i let go of you now.”

you giggle and kiss his cheek. “we can cuddle for a while, but we need to cook dinner in an hour or so. you’ll die if you starve, you know,” yuji nods eagerly and leads you towards the bedroom where you will spend the rest of the evening because at the end of the day, he got you to order take out so he didn’t have to let go.

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[onereallygoodlambonastick]

[daycourtofficial]

Wingspan Matters

Summary: based on this request, you, Nesta, and Feyre catch your mates in a pissing contest over their wingspans

Author’s note: silly little crack hehe

Word count: ~1k

You poured yourself another cup of tea as Feyre and Nesta began squabbling over something you really couldn’t bring yourself to care about. You looked out the window, taking in the nice spring weather. A light breeze was flowing through the trees, causing the branches to move in a dance to the wind’s patterns.

You watch as the birds flit by, their song a lament to the end of winter, as if they too were sending their thanks to the Mother for spring to return. It’s the first warm day in months, the first day that your forearms won’t get cold being exposed to the air.

The life around you seems to dance and sing at the joyous return of spring - insects buzz past the windows, their high pitched frequencies a delight to your ears. You don’t let yourself think for too long about how the resurrection of spring will cause Cassian to snore even louder than before.

Perhaps you and Azriel can plan an escape to the Summer Court for a few weeks. Hopefully the distance and the crashing of waves will be enough to block out Cassian’s loud snoring.

You get lost in a daydream of laying on the beach with Azriel, either in the sand or in hammocks, applying a protective balm to his wings. The sun is warm on your skin, the salty spray of the ocean in your hair.

Muffled shouting disturbs both your daydream and whatever quarrel Nesta and Feyre were in the middle of. The three of you open the doors to the balcony, leaning over the railing to find your mates in a circle in a clearing on the property, their tan skin and large, dark wings making them stand out amidst the greenery that surrounds them. 

Azriel was standing to the side, looking incredibly smug with his arms crossed over his chest as he watches his two brothers. Cassian has a piece of ribbon that he was holding up to Rhysand’s back. The two kept bickering, over what you couldn’t discern.

Before any of you could question what the two were discussing, Rhysand took the ribbon from Cassian and pushed him off. Cassian landed on the ground, but immediately sprung back up, his hands coming up and shoving Rhysand off the rock he was perched on.

“Looks like the bats are finally measuring themselves,” Nesta muses, bringing her cup to her lips.

You could hear Rhys’s laugh from the balcony as he sprung up, keeping low to the ground as he charged at Cassian, his shoulder hitting Cassian’s hips. He pushed Cassian into the ground, causing Cassian to push his weight upwards so the two of them begin rolling around on the ground, punches and curses being shared to and fro. 

Feyre chuckles, “it seems Azriel’s already won.”

Nesta peers back to you over her cup, “I don’t think it’s just Azriel that’s won.”

“Don’t draw yourself up too short, Nes. I think Cassian’s in second place.”

Nesta looks back at you, eyes roaming up and down your frame, “I’m more surprised he hasn’t broken you in half yet.”

Feyre laughs as you reply, “you’d be more surprised if you saw some of the things we do.”

You waggle your eyebrows at Nesta as Feyre continues laughing, but Nesta’s not quick enough to hide her smirk without your notice.

“How long do we wait until we have them measure Feyre’s wings?” you ask.

Feyre thinks for a moment, hand on her chin, “maybe when Azriel gets a little too cocky.”

“Or Rhysand gets too pouty,” Nesta adds.

From across the courtyard, you could see Azriel’s amused smirk as his eyes met yours, a light tug on the bond urging you to keep your gaze on him. You smile, pulling back softly. He raises his eyebrows up and down a few times, and you send some amusement down the bond as you roll your eyes at him.

He stretches his wings out at your attention, making them as large as he can. You’re pretty certain you’ve seen birds do similar things in mating rituals, but the unfortunate thing is seems to actually be working on you.

He looks over to his brothers, still rolling around in the dirt, and gently takes off for a short flight up to the balcony the three of you are on. He lands softly in front of you, his wings creating a small wind, his chest glowing in the sunlight as his hands reach for you, pulling you into him by your hips.

You melt into him, arms going around his waist, your head resting over his heart as he supports your weight with the railing behind him. The warmth from his skin is soothing without being overbearingly hot.

“They make me want to gag,” Nesta tells Feyre, and you move your head so you can see the two pairs of eyes looking back to the two of you. Azriel wraps his wings around you, making you nearly impossible to see if it weren’t for your feet. You can hear the smile on Nesta’s face at her words, though.

You weasel an opening between Azriel’s arms so you can make eye contact with Nesta as you tell her, “he makes me gag too,” as you make an obscene gesture with your hand.

Nesta’s face immediately goes into her hands while Feyre chuckles, but her laughs are drowned out by the male in front of you, his laugh rumbling in his chest beneath your ear.

He peers down at you, one eyebrow raised in question. You nod slightly, and the two of you vanish into his shadows, leaving Feyre and Nesta to watch their mates continue to fight in the dirt, forgetting who really won the competition.

[charlotte-zophie]

Therapy conversation

Dear Fandom, dear Mr. Gaiman,

I hope this isn´t weird but i have something to confess.

Since I watched the second season of Good Omens, I've gone through so many phases that I barely recognize myself anymore.

My first reaction after episode 6 was shock, then I was disturbed because I didn't know that it was possible for a series to have such a strong influence on my psyche, I questioned myself and doubted my sanity. Then I was overcome by an incredible sadness and was really heartbroken. I felt like a pubescent teenager, in my mid-30s. I couldn't sleep properly for several days, had nightmares and my thoughts were with these two ineffable loving idiots the whole time.

And the worst thing about it was that for the first few days I was really ashamed to admit to myself and my husband that I was completely and hopelessly immersed in this world. I did nothing but watch videos, listen to sad songs, and read heartbreaking fanfictions for days. And of course I read the book again and watched the series over and over again. All in the hope that it will ease my heartache a little.

But as is often the case in these situations, after a few days in which no real change occurs, you have the thought that you will be lost in this feeling forever. But since I have 3 children that I need to look after, of course locking myself away for weeks with heartbreak wasn't an option, so I had to find an outlet for myself to channel my pain.

So I started painting a picture. By Aziraphale and Crowley. And stroke by stroke I let my feelings flow out of me and into the picture.

It took over a week until I had a motif in which I could see my thoughts and feelings expressed and then it took another week until I finished the picture. On an old canvas with paints that haven't been used for a long time, with many, many layers of old paint underneath.

But when the picture was finally finished, it really took a load off my mind. It was like I had broken a dam and was finally able to let it all out and convert it into creative energy.

But I think the most important thing was that I uploaded the picture to Tumblr and received such a response that I was incredibly touched and immediately motivated to paint more pictures.

Since that day, hardly a moment goes by when I am not holding a pen in my hand or not thinking about a new picture. I'm in one of the most creative phases in a very long time and I'm really enjoying it.

I am so grateful for the wonderful people here! Here I see that I'm not alone with my strange feelings that I still don't really know how to classify. Here I read thoughts that are so similar to mine, here I see works of art that melt my heart, here I feel understood!

And I am so grateful for the pain that showed me the way back to my creative energy!

Thank you Fandom!

Thank you Neil Gaiman!

I would have been lost without you!

Because I don't know my way around here very well, I didn't think about pinning the picture in question as a link when I created this post, but since many people have asked about it, I've pinned it here. Thank you all, love love love

[pellucid-constellations]

If It All Fell

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: If it all fell apart—if you forgot who you were—would you love him again? Would the bond guide you back? Azriel doesn't know if that uncertainty is one he can bear.

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: Nothing big in this one. Memory loss?? Overprotectiveness?? Azriel losing it (but not that much just yet)??

a/n: Hi this is going to be a series :) thank you for reading <3

Part 2 ♡

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist ♡

~~

As you blinked through the haziness, a dull throb echoed along the base of your skull. You sat up abruptly, feeling rocks and twigs digging into the backs of your legs, and winced as several shouts attacked your senses. You recognized none of them.

Gods, your head hurt. 

A few more blinks and the sun made an appearance, light assaulting your too-sensitive eyes. The leaves beneath your hands crunched and blew away in the balmy breeze, a few flecks of green still stuck to your palm as you brought it up to rub your head. 

“Don’t,” a feminine voice warned, and it was then that you pinpointed one of the shouts from earlier. But it was warmer now, calm. “Don’t touch your head, y/n. Azriel and Cas are getting help.”

You scrunched your face up but obeyed the command, taking steady breaths to try and manage the pain. The woman in front of you—blonde hair, brown eyes, a fierce expression—was like no one you had ever seen before. She was so incredibly beautiful you weren’t sure if you were actually awake. 

You took a pause. 

And then another. 

Who was the last person you had seen? 

“Where am I?” you asked instead, trying to appear sane. Your voice sounded unfamiliar. 

The woman’s expression pinched. “You’re in Spring Court. You remember that, don’t you? Rhysand sent us.” 

“Rhysand?” you repeated, the name foreign on your tongue. “Sent us for what?” 

“Well, we were supposed to be rallying Tamlin into re-fortifying his borders to win back the Summer Court’s good graces, but that beast is an idiot. Forging agreements with witches was quite possibly the worst move he could have made.” 

“Witches?” 

“I know, unbelievable,” the blonde ranted, sitting back on her heels beside you. “We came to help only to find out he had helped himself to the wicked. I knew he was distraught after Feyre, but to turn to this?” 

The pounding in your head was making it increasingly difficult to follow the tale the woman was spinning. Perhaps if you had more backstory, more information, you would understand what she was talking about. 

Desperate for that connection, you winced as you asked, “Um, not to offend, but… who are you?” 

Her aggravated expression crumpled into one of shock and concern. Her mouth parted, her brows came together at a point, and then she shifted, bringing her hands to your shoulders. When you flinched at the touch, the woman pulled her hands back, her fingers curling into her palms. “You don’t recognize me?” she asked, trepidation lining her tone. 

You shook your head, immediately regretting the action as pain shot up your neck. 

“Not at all?” she whispered. When your face remained blank, she pulled her hands into her lap. “Do you know who you are?” 

Another lapse in silence. 

“My Gods…” 

Darkness materialized nearby—swirling darkness. It reminded you of shadows and brought you a sense of peace for the first time since you opened your eyes. 

But then people started emerging from the darkness, taking up space in the vast forest, and that peace collapsed. Two large men with wings stomped against the twig-covered floor, causing a raucous disturbance as they began hurrying an older woman out from behind them. They both spoke in low, rushed tones and you wanted all the sound to stop. 

You ignored the woman’s directions from before and squeezed your head in your hands, your eyes snapping shut. It didn’t work, and you hadn’t expected it to, but Gods did your head hurt. It hurt and it was plagued by an impossible pressure that wouldn’t seem to let up.

“Mor, how long has she been awake?” one of the men asked. You felt him kneel beside you, felt him place rough, textured hands on your wrists in an attempt to pry your hands down. But he was gentle—so very gentle. 

“Azriel, she—” 

“Mor, if you could move aside. I need to look at her,” a much older voice chimed in. 

There was shuffling around you, new hands pressing to your face. You heard whispering that you couldn’t make out, and then the panic set in. 

You didn’t know these people. When you first woke up, the disorientation was focal; you were concerned about the pounding in your head and your whereabouts and that was it. But there were so many people here now, and you didn’t know any of them. 

You didn’t know who you were. Did they know who you were? They had to. 

“Majda, stop. You’re scaring her,” the man beside you, Azriel you’d heard him be called, practically hissed. 

Majda only hummed. “I am doing the job you brought me here to do. If I can’t work around a mating bond I will send you away, Shadowsinger.” 

Your breath came out in faster huffs, each one deeper than the last. You opened your eyes to try and gain some footing in the situation, still keeping your hands glued to your head. 

Your gaze went out before it went in, and you saw the blonde woman, Mor, beside a much larger man. His shoulder-length hair was messy and windswept, and he sent you a bittersweet, sympathetic smile that you couldn’t replicate. He watched with furrowed brows as your eyes darted from him, to Mor, to the wide forest around you. 

“I still don’t see why we couldn’t take her home first,” the man standing by the trees grumbled. “She would be more comfortable there.”  

“We didn’t want to move her with a head injury,” Azriel growled. “Not one from a witch.” 

His voice sent your attention towards him. Azriel was on his knees beside you, holding your wrists with his thumb circling the back of your hand in delicate strokes. He was painfully beautiful and you were left to wonder, yet again, if you were truly awake. When your gazes met, something foreign pulled at your ribs and the pressure sent an unexpected scream past your lips. You hunched over in a panic, yanking yourself away from those beside you.

That wasn’t right. None of this felt right. 

The older woman, Majda, cursed, staring after you as you pushed yourself further and further away. Each movement sent a new ache aflame in your head, but that didn’t stop you because you needed to get away. Your feet kicked up dirt and rocks and your hands tore with the effort but this wasn’t right. 

Azriel reached you before you could hit the tree just inches from your back. He held your head in his own hands and locked you in his gaze, keeping you trapped in the yellows and browns and the flecks that joined them. He took exaggerated breaths, wings flared out to block out the sun, and then he began whispering. 

It took a moment for you to understand the words, your heavy breaths mostly drowning them out. 

Something swished in the distance. More whispering, more secrets. 

“You’re okay. I’ve got you.” 

When Azriel’s voice finally came through, it was like a lifeline. 

“I’m here, my love. You’re safe. I know it hurts, I know.” 

It was odd, finding peace in a stranger. The shadows that seemed to dance around him swirled into shapes that framed your skin, and some of the panic felt foolish in their presence. They twisted and curved, somehow amplifying the cool tone of Azriel’s voice as he promised you things you had no capacity to understand. 

But he never stopped talking, not even when your gaze left his to follow his shadows instead. If anything, the action seemed to spur on the small beings more, and you wondered—for a brief moment—if he was controlling them. 

Something like amazement seeped into your panic as you whispered, “Who are you?” 

You didn’t know the man in front of you, that much was true, but he looked so… broken at your words. Something akin to pain clashed with his beautiful features as his jaw clenched to an unnatural degree. You were surprised that his teeth didn’t crack beneath the pressure. You wondered what else he could withstand—what atrocities he’d seen to make his eyes turn so dark when you spoke your words out loud. 

“No,” Azriel growled, chin hooking over his shoulder. His wings pulled back to reveal a new man, but this one looked slightly different from the others. No wings, different eyes. “You stay out of her head, Rhysand.” 

Rhysand. He was the one that had sent you here.

The concern on Rhysand’s face looked unnatural, like it didn’t belong there. “Az, it could help. Let me help her.” 

“You could make it worse. We have no idea what that witch did to her.” As Azriel spoke, shadows began to cover you more and more. Your sight became dim, your body camouflaged in darkness. 

“Looking in could be the only way to figure that out.” The next bout of silence was uncomfortable. The pounding in your head persisted, exacerbating to the point of tears along your waterline. “I know what you’re feeling, Azriel. I get it. But I want to help her, brother. You know I would never hurt her.” 

A twig snapped beneath a boot.

Azriel growled low in his chest. 

The pounding gave way to a sharp pain, and it made your senses lighter, less focused. 

You couldn't remember ever passing out before, but you thought it might feel like this. 

“Stay away from her.” 

“She doesn’t remember you, Azriel.” 

A choked breath. “Don’t touch my mate.” 

Darkness that surpassed the shadows finally granted you a reprieve from the pain. 

Maybe you'd wake up and this would all make sense.

Part 2 ♡