#but so would pre-lobotomy Durge

[myheartismadeofstars]

Imagine if the Dark Urge had children.

In my head Durge (default) has two eggs that were being tended to in secret, to prevent people from destroying them. Bhaal should be pleased that his favourite child is going to be a father, right?

Then Orin got to him.

He forgot everything, including his unborn babies.

He changed too. Choosing to reject his father and resist the Urge.

Scelaritas Fel brings them up randomly when they reunite (because you KNOW he is ecstatic about Durge bringing little murder babies into the world. Since they are almost certainly Bhaalspawn, even if second generation) and that's how Durge finds out he's a father.

Scelaritas tells him he can destroy them if Master wants (Master does NOT want! He wants them safe, he just wants to know where they ARE!)

Anyway here's how fans who want to keep Scelaritas on a redeemed Durge path can still win: Durge tells Scelaritas that he'd need his assistance with his future Bhaalspawn children so he might as well stay with him.

[quortknee]

some of my durges heehee some of my tavs: [part 1] [part 2]

[kibermonakh]

thanks for tagging me @jashonja

dunno who to pass on so whoever sees this and would like to participate - do it! Back in the pre-lobotomy days Durge already liked to cook, but instead of usual meat he butchered his own victims: dwarves went for various steaks and minced meats, gnomes and halflings were dry-cured whole, elves was steamed with mushrooms and various sauces, half-orcs and humans combined nicely in spicy sausages, and tieflings were brewed into gelatine, especially their tails and horns. Durge used to be local Bhaal cult's Gordon Ramsay х) Durge doesn’t remember this specifically, but he obviously has his own guesses, and his hands still somehow cope with preparing meat dishes, so in retirement Durge decided to go deeper into baking and sweets - it’s more difficult, he doesn’t succeed as he wants, but he still likes it.

[cats-obsessions]

I just love the idea of pre-tadpoled Durge being so intense and repressed- their real emotions can only be implied between gritted teeth. And post lobotomy they come back unable to keep their thoughts to themselves, particularly around Gortash, giving him all these nice touches and compliments they couldn’t before, just admitting how they really think because they can’t remember to be embarrassed.

Durge: We were in love, weren’t we?

Gortash: …erm

Durge: Oh shit, we didn’t say it out loud?

Gortash: No. Instead, you said things like you would kill me last upon your fathers alter.

Durge: You know that’s a Bhaalian wedding ritual, right? Right!???

[daemon-in-my-head]

Past Life Dark Urge Asks - 6th Edition:

Durge flayed themselves at least once, why?

What did they think when they wrote the prayer down? Why was it so important for them to have a physical copy of it?

Balthazar is an infamous necromancer and has extended his 'life' far beyond what should've been. What did Durge think of him?

The Warden hates Durge. Why? What did they do?

The Worgs in Gortash's Warehouse, what's the story behind them?

Minsc is quite infamous, did Durge have a hand in the disappearance of his Statue? Was it originally their plan or did Orin do something successfully by herself for once? How would your past Life Durge react to it?

If your pre-lobotomy Durge could say anything to your post-lobotomy Durge, what would it be?

What was Durges greatest nightmare?

What do they think of other Deities? Especially those of their race or good aligned ones?

Drizzt is quite famous in Faerûn. Did your Durge have an opinion on the man who betrayed his origins and rose to become a hero?

What would past Durge think of their new companions? Would they like, love, dislike or despise them?

What does their handwriting look like?

If they could have one modern thing in Faerûn, somehow through magical means or smth, what would it be? Luxury toilet paper, a smartphone (no, charger or internet is not included), a history book for research perhaps?

Shoes on or off in the temple? After all it is their home, so what's their rule? Did they enforce it on others too?

If they could rewind time to any moment of their choosing once, would they do it? And which moment would it be?

[erme-aeterna-arts]

following this i need to say that durge obviously balances astarion out when it comes to long-term planning, but i'd like to also add some detail on how i see this ability of theirs and what kind of a leader they are.

durge is a cult leader, not a commander of an army and not a politician in the sense that they would not be good at organizing things like cities and states and gaining the support of citizens and stuff. their interpersonal skills are way above average, but they'd make a poor manager, if that makes sense. they find strict organization and discipline boring, their goal is just to get people to do whatever they want, not to establish structure. i'm looking at that high charisma of canon storm sorcerer durge and also my bard+sorcerer durge here. they're an excellent manipulator, there's that intimidation proficiency, so basically their scheming mainly consists of identifying people that can be useful to them/the party and convincing them to do what they want, ensuring that they're an ally for the future etc. durge is a people person, even if it's at times lethal for the people in question.

that's also why our murderous amnesiac becomes a reluctant leader of the group, they manage to resolve conflicts between party members, use their strengths well and more importantly they just usually go with the ideas that the others offer. i think in-game durge is in a lot of pain all the time and trying to figure out what is wrong with them (the urge), so they don't have much space in their head to make plans and scheme, they just go along with what the others think they need to do, while giving it the air that the party came up with these brilliant plans together, so no one would feel salty about things and bother them further. i don't think they notice until at least moonrise that they're the de facto leader of this group, even though they don't really discuss this hieararchy.

additionally, the pre orin lobotomy durge must have planned at participated in a lot of murders on their own or with a small group of other cultists, the bhaalists, as they appear in act3, favour stealth and disguises and there's that invisibility cloak sceleritas gives them back, which also hints in this direction. overall, it makes sense to assume that this type of planning is much like an instict to durge and that they're used to having such numbers with them as the party can be, so their coordination tips would come into use.

+ in contrast with what i wrote about astarion in the previous post (him being effective in crisis), durge would not be particularly good at this, as in any situation that might make them lose control over their mind. the more overwhelmed by some negative emotions they're the harder it is for them to keep the urge in check (and being overwhelmed by some sort of happiness is not fully accessible to them due to the urge beginning to push them even harder towards destroying the source of that joy, so it wouldn't be distracting them from serving bhaal). so if durge panics they end up either killing everybody or immediately leaving and isolating themself so they would not kill everybody.

[kawareo]

4, 11, 20 for the durge ask :3

4. What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest flaw? Is this accurate?

Post-tadpol!Strike considers his greatest flaw to be the consequences of his lobotomy - he's weak and has constant headaches and sometimes blacks out, he hates having to rely on others to keep him alive. Pre-tadpol!Strike considers himself a softhearted fool who didn't kill Orin when he should've and who definitely should've killed Gortash a long time ago. He thinks of himself as a hedonistic addict and still doesn't do anything about it.

Neither of these are accurate.

11. What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the Urge?

Pure, selfish desire for freedom. He likes doing horrible, bloody warcrimes, but sometimes he also likes being nice just for the fun of it. He likes to choose how he behaves and now that he's been released off of Bhaal's leash, he doesn't want to go back on it. And he likes life! He wants to see more of it, wants to be more than just the world's end!

20. Is your Dark Urge open about their Urge or do they try to hide it? Why?

Honestly the main reason Strike is open with his Urge is because i find it so funny when he just says the most insane shit to random people like it's normal. The ingame justification though would be that he is just funny about it usually so it mostly comes off as jokes! Until it is clearly not jokes anymore (post Alfira). After that, the tadfools sit him down and demand answers, which he provides, and agrees to be tied up whenever he feels the Urge getting to him again. They proceed to cope with it like they do with Astarion's vampirism and Gale's Orb - dangerous special need that needs to be managed and have things adapted for it, but manageable. Before they know it's a Bhaalspawn thing they talk about finding a source and a potential cure after they get rid of the tadpols.

[lamortwrites]

SAREVOK TAMOKO DURGE AND GORT PARALLELS!!!!!!!!!! durge and xvim!!!! I can’t

OKAY I HAVE TO PREFACE THIS BY SAYING. I am on team cleric of Xvim Tamoko I have not been active in any bg1 spaces probably since I was a teenager I do not know what the fandom consensus of her deity was but I DO remember that it was never actually confirmed in game (do I think the plan was for her to become Sarevok's Chosen? Maybe. Maybe the original plan after Sarevok's apotheosis was to help Tamoko push someone else off of the throne she wanted. You know, much like a popular durgetash theory ;))

ANYWAY the point is. Tamoko was a cleric of Iyachtu Xvim to me. So imagine being me running around as an amnesiac Bhaalspawn and finding out I USED TO HAVE FEELINGS FOR A BANITE? Already. AlREADY the wheels are turning. Already I am going HMM. THIS FEELS FAMILIAR.

And like...obv this is all up to interpretation and kinda depends on your choices in your own playthroughs but. Gort being so happy for you if you shake off Bhaal's influence? Vs him jumping straight to pragmatism and well guess you have to die for me if you won't be my ally? And then later w the brain, the theory that he knew the stones weren't working and chose to try and take the hit for you even though you don't remember him or any of what you had, maybe even showed up w a new lover? Compared to Tamoko being so willing to die for Sarevok just bc he told her to, even though he'd strayed so far from the man she loved? Did Gort know durge planned to betray him in the end? Would he have been willing to die for them?

And YEAH the durge/Xvim parallels are...SO tasty. Durge being born before Bhaal was even resurrected? Were they supposed to be his ticket back to godhood like how Bane did it? The fact that durge is technically a cambion too... Like, did pre tadpole durge chafe against their leash? WERE they planning on patricide? Was that the real reason for the lobotomy?

There's just. Idk there's something really poetic to me about Sarevok changing so much that he is unmoved by Tamoko's death vs durge having the potential to change so much that they are unmoved by Gortash's...

Also. I would save the man within the beast he wishes to be. You know. Which couple am I talking about here.

[defira85]

For Kassie!!!

7. If your pre-lobotomy Durge could say anything to your post-labotomy Durge, what would it be?

8. What was Durges greatest nightmare?

11. What would past Durge think of their new companions? Would they like, love, dislike or despise them?

Ask meme here!

7. Answered here!

8. What was Durge's greatest nightmare?

Oooh. Oh that's a good question. Kass, hmm... I think it's something to do with irrelevance. Being unnecessary. Being unwanted. She worked so, so hard to try and work out how to bring Bhaal back to life, only for all of her hard work to be dismissed and unnecessary, and then she was discarded and treated as unimportant the moment he was resurrected. She watches Enver moving in high society and gets so possessive and miserable at the thought of him taking a spouse and having a family. Post-tadpole she watches miserably as Heron is so easily accepted into the Tadfools and how happy it makes him to change and grow and make friends and lovers, and it makes it a little easier for Sceleritas to slip under her guard and try to lure her back to Bhaal

She wants to be wanted. Standing alone at the end of the world was her greatest nightmare

11. What would past Durge think of their new companions? Would they like, love, dislike or despise them?

Kass struggled. Not for lack of trying on their or her parts, but Orin and Kressa scrambled her badly, a lot worse than Heron, and she had the Urge to contend with where Heron did not, which made her wildly more suspicious. And, let's face it, Carmela is not great at making friends either, and given that she made herself the moral compass of the group almost forcibly, it put Kass at odds with the lot of them from the start

But past Kass... I think past Kass would have common ground with Lae'zel, and would appreciate her bluntness and disinterest in being more sociable. I was going to say I don't think she'd like Gale but pre-tadpole Gale was a different beast, more ambitious and arrogant, so it's possible she'd find him fascinating. I don't think there's anyone she'd despise because it takes a lot to rouse that sort of reaction from her.

[negentropies]

hate being a hardcore plotter with terminal writer brain because i can't even fucking like something without picking it apart like a rotisserie chicken carcass and trying to fix all the weird holes in the plot that won't let me sleep at night

so anyway, heres a bullet point essay on my thoughts on the bhaal plot bc it doesnt make any fucking sense and its been driving me insane and patch 5 was just the final nail in the coffin

so bhaal's motivations are . muddy. in the case of most durges, it seems he crafted durge as his most perfect champion, let them get a little bit of life experience, and then led them to the bhaal temple where they became its leader with the intent of ???? murdering lots of people and getting more followers ?? i guess ???? omnicide only really became a possibility after they hatched the elder brain plot with gortash, but they were very much already a cult leader by then. regardless, we establish that as of ~15 years before the start of bg3, bhaal wants to use the brain to murder everyone in the world. HOWEVER. if you just so happen to be an oathbreaker paladin durge and face sarevok and become an unholy assassin, you get this dialogue:

this suggests that bhaal's goal is to walk the planes again? which doesnt seem like it would have anything to do with omniciding the world, since gods get their power from the number and fervor of their worshipers. as i see it (ty moth) his goals seem to be as follows: expand his divine portfolio and worshiper base to obtain greater divine status -> reclaim his divinity and re-ascend to full godhood -> rebuild his church into something more coherent and structured -> walk the planes again -> fuck with bane and myrkul

if the absolute plot succeeds and durge takes control of the absolute in bhaal's name, i see no reason why he'd rid himself of a massive new worshiper base, since followers of an exarch (durge in this case) also count as followers of an exarch's god (bhaal). if anything, it would make more sense for bhaal to EXPECT the absolute plot to fail. this way he fucks with myrkul and bane and gets rid of their chosen as well as substantial chunks of their followers.

like yeah, sure, having the entire absolute cult under his control would be cool. it'd probably make him a powerful enough deity to get him out from under bane's yoke once and for all. but it's also worth noting that bhaal hates bane SO fucking much. bane poached his servant loviatar to take her as his consort and then there was the Gortash Situation, so that hatred could mean he'd lose sight of that power and make it so he'd be happy if the elder brain plot collapsed, as long as it meant he could make bane look stupid or undermine him in the process.

this brings me to the new patch 5 epilogue, which inspired me to write down my ramblings in the first place. if you either lose to orin in the duel or you embrace bhaal, then destroy the elder brain, you become this urge-crazed, twitching murderer good for nothing except crashing parties and siring more bhaalspawn. which like . doesn't make sense to me? it's outright stated that durge becomes nothing but a vessel for bhaal. bhaal has been established as extremely patient and more than capable of cooking up plots that could span centuries (see: baldur's gate 1 and 2), so i don't know why he wouldn't just use his newfound puppet bhaalspawn as a mortal avatar to restore his church and facilitate his return to power in a faerûn where myrkul (bane also, but less so) had to take a step back to recoup.

the characterization of bhaal and pre-lobotomy durge makes me a little confused in general. gortash frequently talks about how intelligent durge was and how their strength came in their intense self-control, and in the fact that bhaal let them pick their battles. going off of this, i expected durge to be kind of a stick in the mud compared to the other bhaalists, and we get SOME of that? there's a journal entry you can find from durge to orin where durge insults her for "posing [her] corpse-dollies" instead of just killing and being done with it. however, from the flashbacks and other conversations with the bhaalists we get, our vivisection-loving cannibalistic necrophiliac doesn't really have a leg to stand on here. it really seems like the larian writers had two separate, incongruous visions for durge and tried to mesh them together to limited success

now can we talk about sarevok. can we talk about sarevok? can we talk about how utterly batshit insane it is that fucking SAREVOK, who literally attempted to usurp bhaal to become the new lord of murder, would have gotten so much power and favor from his father? it's clear from durge's internal narration that they hate sarevok's guts. they straight up get inspiration for killing him. so... why did durge ever answer to him? why did bhaal let his perfect clone and champion into the hands of a son he hates and who tried to usurp him?

which all leads me to my conclusion that the baldur's gate temple of bhaal is, in fact, a heretical sect. and more importantly, that durge was led to it with the intent that after they'd exhausted the temple's use, they would off sarevok once and for all, gut the temple completely, and rebuild something new and worthy of their father from the ashes.

everyone at the bhaal temple is interested pretty much exclusively in the ritualistic aspects of murder, while in contrast, durge is (stated to be) more interested in efficiency and (apparently?) restoring their father to power and helping him walk the physical planes once more. again, this is all incongruous with other aspects of their characterization, but i'm going to chalk that up to messy writing. this would also track with durge being raised outside of the bhaal temple, ensuring that no matter what, bhaal would get to them before the temple did. sceleritas fel in particular is shown to be loyal to durge and bhaal exclusively, while not caring for orin or sarevok. the pieces are all here for a religious schism that just . never happens

so, if we pick up some of what larian is putting down and ignoring the rest, a possible version of events would be:

-> sarevok the attempted usurper establishes the temple of bhaal in baldur's gate as a niche, heretical sect focused exclusively on ritualistic murder, with no intention of expanding bhaal's portfolio beyond that

-> bhaal crafts durge, lets them form an identity outside the temple, then brings them in to lead, use, and subsequently destroy the baldur's gate bhaalists

-> durge and gortash hatch the elder brain plot. no matter if it succeeds or fails, bhaal will still win one way or another, whether it be getting a new legion of followers through his exarch or by crippling myrkul and sticking it to bane

-> orin (and probably sarevok) misunderstands bhaal's edicts, interpreting them as him wanting to use the brain to murder everyone in the world. orin fucks everything up when she lobotomizes durge but tbh, that still doesn't really matter. either she dies and bhaal gets rid of a heretical and unstable spawn or she becomes his puppet, just like durge should have in their bad ending

going off bhaal's characterization for the previous games, he is fundamentally a patient plotter with lots of foresight and also immense rizz. omnicide via elder brain is like . the stupidest scenario for him when there is so many other different ways to take this. where is bhaal sending in his perfect murder catholic spawn into a den of murder pagans !! where is the bhaalist religious schism !!!!!

thank u for coming to my ted talk

[bruised-halo]

Fuck it

Here's more information about each of my completed Tavs/Durges so far (Besides Zephyra but I have a pretty good feel for her personality already because I'm almost to Act 2)

Nyx:

- Mephistopheles Tiefling - Folk Hero Background - Level 10 Arcane Trickster Rouge and Level 2 Fighter -

First ever Tav - She's loosely based off of my first DnD character from highschool. I say loosely because I cannot customize her to her full potential on PS5 because there are no mods just yet :(

Once I DO get the ability to do mods here in September(?) I will be remaking her to look more like she should

Lawful good for the most part

Pansexual

Romanced Spawn Astarion

I imagine that she had a rough childhood but decided to make the best of it

Would definitely sacrifice herself without any regrets if it came to that (Out of any of my current characters she is probably the most likely to willingly become a mindflayer to save her companions) - I think if I was to play her character again she absolutely would become a mindflayer to save her companions. Especially if Karlach tried to do it first (I didn't know you could bust out Orpheus at the time :( )

Scarlett:

- Zariel Teifling - Haunted One background - Level 12 Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer -

First ever Durge - was not redeemed

Chaotic Evil

Lesbian

Romanced Minthara

Very loyal to Bhaal

Scariest Bhaalspawn I have created so far. Like girl is absolutely ruthless

Definitely a narcissist and does not really give af about any of the companions except for Minthara.

Probably the strongest of my characters. She was absolutely slaughtering everyone she came into contact with

Became the absolute in Bhaal's name

Definitely a doomed from the beginning antagonist

Only character of mine that has willingly become half illithid

Lyssa:

- High Elf - Haunted One background - Level 12 Oath of Vengeance Paladin -

First redeemed Dark Urge character - I absolutely loved her dynamics

Chaotic good - an actual chaotic good. Like girl is goofy

Did not break her Oath :)

Bisexual and Polyamorous

Romanced Spawn Astarion and Halsin

Pre lobotomy Lyssa was definitely a menace but not entirely evil. Very conflicted tbh

She did have on and off again flings with Gortash for sure pre lobotomy

I believe she first became a Oath of Vengeance Paladin to get vengeance on whoever robbed her of her memories. Post Orin's death I believe she kept that Oath of Vengeance to continue to vanquish evil that would hurt innocents.

Views Jaheira as a motherly figure for her and cares for her deeply

Her Dream Guardian was her adoptive mother that she killed when the urges first manifested as a child (the guilt will live with her for the rest of her days)

Lillith:

- Seldarine Drow - Haunted One background - Level 12 Berserker Barbarian -

Redeemed Dark Urge

Neutral Good - mostly heroic but did do some questionable things

Silent but friendly type once she gets comfortable with someone

Demisexual

Romanced Gale

Pre lobotomy Lillith was probably evil asf. But to be fair it was the only thing she ever knew. Girl was most likely besties with Gortash. Maybe some romance? Who knows? But most likley

Fun fact about Lillith: The eye that her tattoo is on changes from Red to White to symbolize Bhaal's grip on her being broken post resurrection from Withers

When she was first resurrected, she wished she would have stayed dead because she thought she could never repent for the heinous actions she committed while being under Bhaal's influence

Gale is the first person she has ever felt truly safe with

Willow:

- Mephistopheles Tiefling - Haunted One background - Level 12 Archfey Warlock -

Chaotic neutral/chaotic evil depending on which ending she gets - She is my only Dark Urge character that could go either way

I prefer her redeemed ending bc girl is traumatized but the evil ending also makes sense for her

Queer - she does not give af about labels tbh

Romanced Gale

Pre lobotomy Willow killed her first love Ophelia during a Dark Urge episode - safe to say her dream guardian is a dead version of Ophelia

She definitely went off the rails post Ophelia's death. I believe this event was the main trigger that led to her becoming fully devoted to Bhaal. There's nothing worse than losing everything/one you cared about after all

Romantic but also very toxic relationship with Gortash. Out of all my Durges she is definitely the most likely to have been all over that greasy man LMAO. Girl was FERAL

She is the only Durge who does reject Bhaal but also has the opportunity to become the Absolute depending on the choices she makes in game

Her and Ophelia are tragic soulmates in EVERY lifetime. One of them will always die tragically by the others hands. There is no reality where they can both live together happily ( Angsty I know LMAO )

Ophelia:

- Human - Urchin Background - Level 12 Life Domain Cleric of Selûne -

True Lawful Good

Only exists in the alternate reality where she managed to get the upper hand on Willow in self-defense. Unfortunately Willow dies due to this

Definitely my bravest tav. She will run headfirst into anything if it means saving someone in need

LESBAINNNNN

Romanced Shadowheart

Definitely the more rational one between her and Willow. She was always trying to keep Willow out of trouble. She loved it though. The chaos as definitely fun at times

Before Willow's death, Ophelia was trying to make ends meet by any means necessary. She was an Orphan and had no one to rely on but herself. Hence the Urchin background.

After Willow died, Ophelia swore to repent for what she had to do by becoming a life domain Cleric of Selûne. It definitely helped her grieve. It also gave her a purpose and led her to becoming who she is

The enemies to lovers dynamic with Shadowheart is the BESTTTTT. I highly recommend Shadowheart x Selûnite tav

The ending she gets with Shadowheart is just what she deserves. Like poor girl had it ROUGH

Zephyra:

- Githyanki - Outlander background - Currently level 7 Paladin of Vengeance -

Chaotic good for sureeee

Bisexual

Previously had a fling with Astarion but is absolutely in LOVE with Lae'zel (she pretty much so always was but she was in denial)

She's a little less rough around the edges than Lae'zel (especially in the beginning when Lae'zel still doesn't trust anyone yet)

Also far more knowledgeable about Faerun than most other Githyanki due to her outlander background. She loved to explore far and wide before the mindflayer abduction

She's definitely a romantic at heart but doesn't want to admit it just yet

She swore her Oath of Vengeance after her best friend went missing and is presumed dead. She just wants to know what happened to her (Spoiler: Vlaakith Ascension ending 👀)

Her and Lae'zel are definitely mother's to the githyanki egg from the creche

Her relationship with Lae'zel is absolutely adorable. They definitely complete each other. Zephyra was the first person to ever show Lae'zel the importance and feeling of softness when it comes to love

[tacogoats]

Having durge/gortash thoughts for my own dark urge, Veren in relation to their old dynamic after reading some people's Big Brain ideas in the gortash tags. Yall are so powerful

But like. Veren is a redeemed Durge and rejects his inheritance - so this is all in the flavour of New Me kind of Durge.

Veren and Gortash absolutely fucked nasty style pre-lobotomy but I'm in love the the idea they were IN LOVE too... not just the love that looks to be there in-game; where Durge was willing to stand atop a dead world with Gortash killed last - but actual total adoration that Veren actually Was going to forsake Bhaal once the plan was in full motion. Bhaal surely couldn't touch him once the world was at his fingertips, and Gortash would rule with him, right?

(Loud incorrect buzzer)

But like I really want to write some things like the theft of the Crown where Gortash has a hard time being back in Avernus and despite Veren being utterly merciless, covered in gore and just general insane murder hobo antics - he stops dead in his tracks the second he clocks Gortash's discomfort. All focus is now on getting Gortash through this as quick as possible and he's Here for him and if they need to stop It's Okay (it's not okay they are in Hell but Veren will fight anything that dares get close - gods help whatever stupid demon rounds the corner if Gortash needs a moment)

I said the Veren/Astarion dynamic is the submissive like a guard dog but like same dynamic tbh. Veren by nature is a super protective guy and will move mountains for His Special People.

I really want to write something too where, although his memories are gone of Gortash and his time together, at the coronation he recognizes Gortash is struggling with Orin and offers him a deal.

They'll team up but he has to come with them and Actually help. He can bring Steel Watchers to 'camp' (outside the Tavern) and whatever else he needs against Orin but he is Helping Actively: this comes after a night of Veren trying his damnedest to rekindle whatever the hell they had going on before that he Forgot - because despite having Astarion now, this is too golden of an oppportunity to pass up trying to manipulate *Gortash*. Astarion even gives him tips!

It doesn't go well but Gortash thinks he can manipulate what little is left of his lover and that Maybe once the stones are secure they can try to mend that once beautiful brain he loved - but he still sees little flashes of what once was and it Hurts Big Time.

Gortash witnesses the Spawn kidnapping attempt and Veren calls the whole thing on pause because they are Dealing With Cazador NOW.

Gortash recognizes that love just isn't there anymore for him; Astarion is what he used to be to whatever scraps are left of Veren. (:

I'll probably add more I'm startin to Cook

[vestigialpersonality]

100-Question Durge Ask Game: Answered

The words weren't flowing today and my focus was too jittery to read, so I filled out Durge Ask Game 10th Edition instead. I know it's not the proper way to do things, but it was this or watching my in-laws play sportsball videogames and this was significantly more entertaining.

@daemon-in-my-head I had already finished when I sent that ask...but I was fucking mortified by what I had done and saved it in my drafts instead of posting. It took about two hours including intermittent breaks for doom scrolling. 😅

For clarity I'm referring to pre-tadpole as just Durge because he had five different names for every day of the week, whereas post-tadpole is Rune.

1) Any major physical changes? Any impairments? What are they and when did it happen?

As a whole Durge is basically a fancy flesh golem. He's not a shapeshifter like Orin, but pre-tadpole he practically lived behind the disguise-self spell. For the few people who got to see his actual face, he looks like an elf, or at least a half-elf, provided they don't too hard. Skin the color of a decaying corpse, black eyes, teeth that came from at least four different creatures. He's covered in scars in all shapes and sizes and kind of looks like he was pieced together like a cheap leather coat. Much like a tiefling, he's an obligate carnivore.

2) Post-Tadpole Durge is pretty messed up, what does past Durge think of these changes? Do they think it won't matter as they'll still be daddy's favourite assassin even with a head injury?

Pre-tadpole Durge would probably kill Rune out of ableist pity. Rune is suffering from speech aphasia, migraines, chronic pain, dissociative episodes, and damaged bones/musculature in his hands. The memory loss has also exacerbated some pre-existing conditions, like dietary restrictions not being met. Anxiety and depression have been cranked to eleven, self-worth is at rock bottom, self-control is all but gone.

3) Out of all the companions, which one would've been an easy victim for past Durge and why?

Gale, probably. Soft, friendly, easy to get in his good graces, but powerful enough that Durge wouldn't want to try to take him in an even fight. And Gale is probably the least inclined of the party to just straight up kill someone.

4) Would any companions have had any chances with past Durge? Who and why?

Astarion, full stop. They knew each other and Durge felt like Astarion would be a welcome addition to his stabby family.

5) What sort of 'real world' clothingstyle would past durge have loved? Are they the type to join a subculture like punk, goth, etc. (Aesthetically at least)?

Durge is a social chameleon, so really all of them. But given the choice he'd be wearing a three-piece suit. Rune is less picky and would probably wear whatever he could find in dark colors at goodwill. Jeans that mostly fit and a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off.

6) Speaking of clothes, streetwear or formal clothes?

Durge prefers formal all the way. He wants to make an impression. Rune doesn't care as long as it is comfortable.

7) Durge is old money incarnate, but what do they think of new money? Did their view change after their homemade lobotomy or meeting a young man with a quick and easy smile?

Durge thought the concept of social climbing was fascinating and watched Gortash's evolution like an experiment. Rune has little concept of money or wealth.

8) What's their aesthetic like? Describe it to me. Or better yet, hand over the link to that Pinterest mood board we all know exists (at least in theory, go do it).

Vulture culture at its finest. Bones and shiny things.

9) Any favourite flower? Did they actually decorate things with it or was it a secret hidden pleasure? Do they maybe just like the symbolism, smell, what have you?

Durge had a garden where he grew useful flowers and plants. He liked foxgloves in particular, though there was no special reasoning behind it. Rune has no feelings one way or the other.

10) Did they ever get to enjoy receiving gifts? From whom and which one was their favourite?

Not really. Gifts always come with strings attached and those that don't aren't actually meant for him, they're meant for someone's fictionalized view of him. Even Stillmaker was mostly unwanted and only accepted, strings and all, because it was useful. He did, however, collect trinkets brought to him by crows.

11) Hot or cold foods?

Hot.

12) Do they drink? Which is their favourite liquor? In what situation would they prefer a nice glass of a little something?

They drink, but don't feel any particular way about it. Alcohol is useful for social posturing.

13) How entitled is Durge on a scale of 1 to 'gods favourite little gorebaby deserves the world (or its end)'?

Probably at the lower end of the scale. Too much internalized guilt.

14) Favourite body part? And of whom?

He likes teeth in all shapes and sizes. Hyoid bones. 

15) Can durge ride a horse? Did they sneak around the cities rules pertaining the ownership of horses?

Yes. He grew up on a farm, but he doesn't own a horse of his own. He rode on most occasions when he had to leave Baldur's Gate. Rune may or may not remember.

16) Bribing or threats, which is their preferred method? (Murder excluded)

Depends on the day, though he leans more towards bribery. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

17) Bhaal, of course, has his favourite colours, but which colour is your Durges absolute favourite? Did it change after their brain was messed with? Can they even see colours?

He prefers a relatively monochromatic colors. Grays, dark reds, midnight blues, deep plums. His favorite color is similar to hex code #2a4d6b (dark steel-blue)

18) Their love language? Did anyone ever experience it in the past? Did they survive it?

Murder. Acts of service. Gortash and Astarion are both still alive-ish at the start of the game, so it wasn't always deadly.

19) Did they ever consider leaving the gate? What for and where would they go?

He has no particular desire to leave until his work is done. It's not home, exactly, but it's easier form a stronghold when not roving the countryside like a bandit.

20) Did they maybe even leave the Gate in the past? Why or why not? What kept them there or drove them away?

He's traveled a bit. He's been to Waterdeep and Elturel at least once, though had no desire to stay.

21) Bhaal despises hope, but what does Durge think of it? Is it fun to play with? A lil bit of sadism never hurt somebody or do they despise it too?

He won't give them the hope that they'll survive, but he will give them the hope that it will be painless. Durge doesn't play with his food unless someone has particularly stoked his ire. He feels he's acting out of kindness, that whatever horrific acts he's committing are for the greater good. In his twisted little psyche he's not evil and people should be thanking him for their deaths. 

22) What's their favourite crime? Excluding murder of course, pick another one beside that.

It's relatively minor, especially in the grand scheme of Durges, but busking without a permit.

23) Did they carry money around with them or was their name enough to pay for anything they'd desire (or the explicit death threats they'd mumble)?

They carried money. It was easier to buy silence.

24) The temple has a lending library. Did Durge use it too? What was their favourite genre or did they stay far, far away from books?

Durge loved to read and had a particular fascination with the rites and histories of other gods. Rune can read if he tries really really hard, but it's extremely slow going and gives him a headache.

25) City or village? What would they choose if they were given the choice?

Durge prefers the city. Rune wants a hovel in the woods with no one around for miles.

26) Durge is well spoken and presumably well read as well. Who taught them? Did they attend an academy?

Learned a bit at home before the incident, just enough to help handle inventories and read recipes. All the rest was learned at the temple and through determination.

27) At one point or another Durge had friends. What were they like? What was Durge's position in the friend group?

Durge was a social chameleon who was a lot of things to a lot of people, but there were very, very few he considered friends. Thomas was loveable if weird and would befriend just about anyone who spoke with him. Sterling was gruff and ran his band of thieves and cutthroats with an iron fist. Lily was a kind, grandmotherly figure who knew all of the neighborhood gossip. But he could count on one hand the number of people who knew him and he kept them all carefully separate.

28) Did they ever attend a street fair or similar city festivities? Did they enjoy it? What was their favourite part?

Durge loved festivals. So many people, so many emotions. Plus it was an excuse to be a bit goofy. Rune would hate them.

29) Did they ever attend a ball or banquet? Run me through their typical evening at one of these 'parties' and tell me whether they hated or reveled in it.

Durge hated them. He hated them with a fiery, burning passion. It was always a congregation of the worst of the worst and very rarely was he allowed to let his control slip. Rune would also hate them.

30) Which of the seven deadly sins would represent them best? Also pride is banned from the list, pick a 2nd one that would fit instead (listen I know y'alls Durges)

Envy, pride barely even factors into it.

31) Gambling? Yes, no, are they good at it?

Occasionally. He isn't great, but will absolutely cheat like a motherfucker. Rune is even worse, but may have a better poker face

32) Cigarette baron lord Enver Gortash would like to know if Durge would indulge themselves in his business or if they prefer not to? Did they try before or quit already?

Social smoker. Never buys his own, but will absolutely mooch.

33) What's one unique trait that you think really sets them apart from other Durges? It may be physical, mental, a worldview or a part of their backstory.

He genuinely doesn't believe he's evil. If you take away the murder and cannibalism he'd probably be chaotic good.

34) Flowery, sweet or spicy scents? Not to say, perhaps, musky?

He's fascinated by smells and tends to equate them to emotions and abstract concepts. His favorites are sharp and angry. Teak, cedar, steel, clove, etc. 

35) Melee or ranged? Arcane? Sketchy deals in a dark ally? (Fighting style, I mean fighting styles.)

Dual wield daggers or bare hands. He likes being close. But he's also flexible. Magic? Sure. Poison? Why not. Big fuck-off axe? Great. Whatever it takes to get the job done.

36) About the author; do you love them in a 'oh my precious baby' sort of way or rather 'I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do to you' way?

I'm sorry for what I'm about to do to you.

37) Do they like fish? Baldur's Gate is a port city, I'd imagine they've tried it at least.

He'll eat it, but they don't particularly care for it.

38) Also can they swim? How did they even learn it?

Yes. He lives in a port city at the mouth of a giant river. There were a few incidents that were literally sink or swim so he learned which.

39) Heat. How do they deal with it? Do they deal with it? What's their body temperature like, as in warmer, colder, perfect average? His body temperature runs unnervingly low. If given the option he'd nap on a rock in the sun like a lizard.

40) If you have any other ocs, do they exist in the same universe and did they ever meet Durge? What was it like and if they didn't, what would it be like? Would anyone survive?

Tav exists in this version of the universe. They've met. Larian made a browser-game about it. It didn't end well for either of them. They're still causing trouble for each other post-tadpole, Tav has just assumed a new name.

41) Dragons, Bhaal, Bane and Gortash love em. How about Durge? Are they somehow incorporated in their design?

Nothing particularly dragony, no. Maybe some teeth or a bone here or there. Bhaal just picked his favorite bits and pieces and slapped them together like a weird sculpture when making him.

42) What's a trait they have that you could never, ever guess from the way they look?

He really, really likes animals. Not just to eat. Rune collects animal friends like a Disney princess. Durge just had a murder of crows that he fed at the park.

43) Children, yes, no, how many, what's the best way to prepare them?

There is a lot to unpack in this one, though most is going to be answered in fic-format eventually. Want kids? No absolutely not. Full stop. He's meant to end life not create it. Have kids? None living. Like kids? Indifferent, but typically friendly toward them. Favorite Recipe? There is this apple-based glaze……… 

44) Abdirak my baby girl, what would their interactions have looked like? Did they ever meet pre tadpole? What is the gore baby thinking about the lady of pain's priest?

Still not sure if they've ever met before, but Durge would have absolutely LOVED to have an in depth discussion about religion with him. Maybe find some meditations on pain that helped with self-control.

45) Can Durge drive a carriage? Are they good at it? Would anybody survive if they were in control?

Nobody would survive. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

46) Night owl or early bird?

They sleep so little that the answer is both. But it's easier to work at night.

47) Also, open book or mysterious stranger?

Yes to both. Durge is an open book that is easy to read in the beginning, but the pages get harder to turn the further you get. The last pages are glued together. Rune wears his heart on his sleeve.

48) Pants or skirts/robes? And I mean this for every durge regardless of gender.

Given a choice, always pants. But choices aren't always available.

49) Top 3 favourite past times, cannibalism and vivisections excluded.

Music, reading, and people-watching (in the park, in the street, in their home at night while they are sleeping). Rune just seems to stare into the middle distance and snarl like a feral dog.

50) Do they do their own laundry or is it Scels job? How many shirts have been ruined by Scels hands already?

He is very possessive and doesn't like people handling his belongings, even something as trivial as laundry.

51) What do they prefer to be addressed as? Their name, title, nickname, pronouns or just as 'you'?

Another complicated answer. They prefer to not be addressed at all, but usually just nod and say "yup that's my name now". There are certain names and titles he hates less than others. If he had to choose The Inevitable would probably be his favorite. Chance and Rune are special. He actively hates Keres and denies Asphodel ever existed. Crane, Lily, Sterling, Thomas, etc are all masks he wears. He doesn't feel any particular way about them, though it makes him uneasy when certain people use them.

52) Open and honest duels, or back handed trickery? What do they prefer?

Surprise attack, roll with advantage.

53) Art gallery, opera or hunting tournament? Let's just play pretend those exist.

Art gallery.

54) Are they more of a sweet tooth, do they love it savoury or do they prefer their mouth burning from the hot spice? Perhaps they just prefer a neutral taste?

Savory. He's got dietary restrictions that prevent him from branching too far.

55) Did the gazette ever print an article about them (or their deeds), what's the headline and what did they feel about it?

Amusement. Typically it was a page-six type of article filled rumors or gossip. He's the embodiment of the black-eyed children urban legend.

56) Outdoors or stay at home kinda person?

Durge typically wants to be out with a crowd. Rune doesn't much care as long as it's quiet.

57) Did they ever hear about the great Wizard of Waterdeep, Mystra's Chosen and if they did, how? What do they think of him then vs now.

Probably, but it was discarded as currently irrelevant information.

58) Was it them who came up with the cipher or Gortash?

Gortash. Who likely also didn't come up with it and just stole it from somewhere.

59) Story behind their name? Is there any story?

Originally he was named after the flowers that were blooming where he was found. Astarion has now named him twice. Gortash named him once. He dislikes the name Gortash gave him, but can't quite explain why and has never mentioned it.

60) Their most treasured memory with Orin? Why do they treasure it? Love, spite, sibling rivalry win?

He got to teach her how to properly use blades. Taught her sword forms, how to properly clean a carcass, how to maintain her weapons, and he was proud of how quickly she took to most of it. She hated cleaning and sharpening her tools, though.

61) Dear creators, would you like for your own Durge to meet the Durge of another creator? How would that look like? Who would survive?

I can't pick. There are so many cool ones. Most would probably snap Rune in half like a twig, though. 

62) Hats. Yes, no, why? Took too long styling their hair? Everyday is bad hair day?

Preferably not, but a lot of times it can't be avoided. It's a sensory nightmare.

63) The sweet sweet smell of gore, we've all heard about it. But is it really sweet to them? Or does it just smell like metal and rot?

It smells like metal and rot. But it also smells like dinner.

64) Did they debate stealing anything else from Mephistopheles vault while already down there? If so, what item was it and what can it do? (Maks up some stuff)

There were a lot of sharp and shiny things, but it all went tits up about half way through and there was no time for detours.

65) Their sign(s)?

66) Jealousy, is it a problem, could they care any less?

Jealous? Not really. Possessive? Like a dog peeing on a fire hydrant. You can borrow his things, but never forget that they are his.

67) Speaking off, did they have any partners before the whole tadpole in their brain bit? If not was there a reason?

Durgetash is already canon in this version of the universe. He was also desperately fascinated with Astarion and his siblings. 

68) Pretty much 99% of the nobility and political leaders in Baldur's Gate is corrupt. What did they think of it? Did they enjoy the infighting and maybe took advantage of it?

Absolutely took advantage to make an obscene amount of money. Though only half of the jobs paid in coin. Anything conducted on Gortash's behalf was paid in weapons.

69) Worgs or Gnolls, which species is their favourite?

Gnolls.

70) Have they ever been imprisoned? Why, by whom, how fast did they escape?

Yes. Though usually it just served as a time-out when he couldn't play nice with Gortash. Made a scene at a nice event? Time out. Killed a person Gortash was trying to make a deal with? Time out. Light stabbing over dinner? Time out. It got worse as time went on, Durge got meaner with age.

71) Would they survive in modern times? Could they adapt easily or would they be desperate to return home?

It's a coin toss as to whether Durge would blend in perfectly or be incarcerated in the first ten minutes. Alone and without medical intervention Rune would sleep in subway stations until he snapped and ate someone's face. With assistance he'd probably become a semi-functional member if society.

72) They don't exist in Faerûn, but hypothetically speaking, which TV show/series would be their absolute favourite?

Durge would really love documentaries of all shapes and sizes. Rune would like trivia-based gameshows even though he'd never have the right answers.

73) What's their usual mood/state of mind like? Happy, focused, grim, about to snap someone's neck from irritation?

Happy on the surface, constant inner guilt and turmoil.

74) Graveyards, a nice place to hang out or a crime scene to be avoided? Did post tadpole Durge ever discover a gravestone dedicated to them?

There's at least six of them. Hell, there's a statue in The Wide, though it has a face that makes his skin crawl.

75) Would they prefer a small and cute pet or a large and scary beast? Besides Gnolls and Worgs that is. Just as a vibe.

The smaller they are the more he can have. Durge really likes birds. Rune doesn't care as long as they're soft

76) Did they ever tell the other Chosen about their own plans to rid the world of all life in father's name?

Gortash knows, Kethric doesn't as far as me knows.

77) Also, did they know that the others would probably betray them? Did they perhaps even prepare for it already, or were they oddly naive enough to trust them?

He had a feeling Orin's betrayal was coming, but he had a feeling that Gortash would be more agreeable once there was nothing left to rule over.

78) Do they wear accessories (earrings count)? Which one is their favourite?

Durge loved jewelry. He typically leaned towards silver. His favorite was a pair of earrings made of Orin's baby teeth. Rune adores his Ring of Resistance to Ants and he's going to turn Timber's skull into a necklace. 

79) What languages does Durge speak? Is there any interesting story as to how they've learned them?

He knows common and abyssal. He learned Abyssal thanks to his father (in Minsc and Boo's Journal of Villainy, The Slayer's statblock has abyssal as a known language). He also casts speak with animals without thinking.

80) What went through your head when you crafted these little Durge doll, dear creator? Are they a self inserted of sorts or as far removed from you as possible?

He has become the projection of my traumas and insecurities, just cranked up to eleven and with an extra dose of malice.

81) What do they think of bugs and arachnids? Annoying, gross, fun little creatures? How do they treat one of these things when they see them?

Bugs are fun. He'll clean up empty cobwebs and move living spiders to more prime locations. Rune is about to become the father of four phase spiders.

82) Sleeping. Do they do that? Do they avoid it? Are they generally unable to for one reason or another?

Avoid at all costs, both pre and post tadpole. Durge would stay awake until he was hallucinating and couldn't properly hold a weapon because there was too much to do. Rune is afraid to sleep because he horrified by the things lurking in the dark corners of his mind.

83) Coffee or tea and why?

It's a rare day that he says no to a hot beverage of any kind. He prefers tea because there is so much variety.

84) Realistically speaking, would Durge be able to sit down long and still enough for a portrait or would they move within 5 minutes tops? Any reason for that?

There have been at least two portraits. He burned one. Last he knew the other was locked in a vault he couldn't access in the counting house.

85) Would your durge like you? Why or why not? Would it depend on whether it's pre or post tadpole and would it change if they knew you're the reason for what happened to them?

Durge would probably leave me alone. Rune would almost certainly kill me if no one else was around. If they knew I was the author of their discontent they would both absolutely kill me.

86) Most Durges have piercings, tattoos or both. What's the story behind them? What's the story behind the lack thereof?

Two piercings in the lobe of each ear. No tattoos, but scars everywhere. Most of the scars are a running tally of murder. The rest are accidents, surgery, Kressa's delightful vivisection and, underneath it all, are a faint patchwork like his skin is made from different scraps and pieces.

87) Durge needs to spend a day with someone and they aren't allowed to simply murder their companion. What would they do instead? How would they spend that day?

Durge would go somewhere fun, preferably with music and dancing. Rune would go for a long, silent walk in the woods.

88) How do they wear their hair? What's their preferred style? Did their hair go thru any kind of changes, whether length or texture, at any point during their story?

Durge's hair is short, black, and impeccably groomed, though the color, length, texture and style vary wildly depending on his face. Rune's hair is black, unkempt, and looks like he cut it with a dull knife and no mirror because that's exactly what he did.

89) What's the easiest way to piss them off? Interrupt them when they're focused, wake them from a nap, ignore them?

Touching. Do not touch him if you want to keep your hands. Rune is only marginally less stabby about it.

90) Old blood gets crusty, a feeling most don't particularly enjoy. How do they deal with the plethora of blood and viscera they often face?

Durge spent an inordinate amount of time and money in bathhouses under many different names and faces. It was a good place to pick up useful gossip and bathing was practically a second religion. 

91) Does Durge have a loud voice or are they always asked to repeat what they said because nobody audibly understood em?

Durge typically wasn't particularly loud, but he was well spoken and liked using five dollar words. Rune has trouble stringing two words together.

92) Nail Polish. Yes, no, what colour, do they get someone else to do it for them? Do they even take care of their nails are they crusty and each one has a different length?

No nail polish. Despite looking (mostly) like an elf he has claws closer to a tiefling. Durge took rather meticulous care of them, Rune's are shattered and broken.

94) Dried fish/meat and jerky, apparently a really hot debate, but where does Durge fall? Do they like it, do they detest it, do they have a secret stash hidden somewhere?

Jerky is fine. It's better than fish, but only just.

95) Hyperfixation. Yes, no, what topic has their mind in a chokehold and how much do they enjoy info dumping?

As I mentioned above, he's fascinated by other religions. Specifically their funerary rites.

96) What's their personality type? Talking about the '16 Personalities' test.

Not doing this one. These personality tests give me anxiety.

97) How many blankets and pillows are in their bed at any given moment? Just one set for them to catch a bit of rest or is it more akin to a fabric fortress with comfy things galore? Any teddies?

Small bed with about thirty million blankets. All mismatched, nothing particularly fancy.

98) What's their sexual/romantic orientation? Do they themselves know? Do they simply not care as they're too busy being gods favourite little flesh baby?

Gender and physical appearance play no part in their attraction to someone. Durge likes them sharp and angry and willing to not touch him goddamned ever. Rune just wants someone who doesn't flinch when he looks at them, who will maybe pat him on the head and tell him that they can see he's trying.

98) Their favourite piece of clothing? Any story behind it or is it just too darn comfortable?

Durge will never admit it, even on pain of death, but he stole a nightshirt from Gortash once. Rune really likes the tattered blanket he's turned into a cloak, mostly because it's warmish.

99) Wild card - tell us a story, fact, idea you'd like to share about Durge or their creation.

Rune only happened because of a co-op playthrough with my spouse. It was a double-Tav party but their Tav was malicious. The initial spark for the whole thing was when I was talking to Timber and they came over and just punted her into a tree. As Tav. I really, really wanted to see what it would be like if an objectively evil Tav recruited a Resist-Durge, especially if they had history together.

100) Wild card 2

Every installment of my Durgetash series is going to be based off of a song from this album because it crawled into my brain nearly 25 years ago, hid in the walls, and died before I could get it out.

[bosspigeon]

what was the relationship between gortash and your durges pre-lobotomy? how do they feel when they meet him again?

:3 soooo originally i thought it would be REALLY funny if Gortash was shooting his shot so hard but Maw (pre-lobo Moss~) was just So Autistic he just didn't get it

but then i realized i could go deeper and much more painful :3c

i stand by Moss being a Big Ol' Virgin before Astarion, bc i, personally, think that makes for a very fun(ny) dynamic and also fits in with the character i've already established for Maw, and that was that he was so single-mindedly focused on his duty to Bhaal and his destiny that he didn't really bother with seeking out any sort of bond with anyone, much less enough for him to start feeling sexual attraction towards them. his duty was Murder and he was very, very, very good at it, and that came from a lifetime of dedication

but i think, meeting Gortash, someone he saw as more of an equal than even Orin (who he saw as his lesser by virtue of him being made by Bhaal from his own flesh and her being a second-generation spawn from a first-generation spawn that he still considered imperfect as well as misguided wrt his ideas about Blood Purity) and eventually befriending him over their shared passions and dedication to their respective patron gods, opening him up to actually making his own adult bond with someone else for the first time in his entire life

his relationship with Gortash started as a business deal and eventually turned into companionship and his first genuine friendship. and from there, feelings began to emerge on both sides, but seeing as Maw had a lot of practice shoving down any Softer Feelings he may have had (and an adolescence of Firm Guidance into perfection overseen by Sceleritas, who served Bhaal first and foremost) so before Orin betrayed him, they never got further than a very heavy, very dangerous Almost.

[flamemittens]

Durge Round 6! May I have 2, 7 and 8 please :3

From this list here if anyone wants to send more!

2. What did they think when they wrote the prayer down? Why was it so important for them to have a physical copy of it?

When it comes to the infamous prayer, I imagine she would have been desperate and tired, perhaps in some sort of fugue state when writing it. Just...feverishly apologising to her Father and reassuring him (and herself too) that he could rely on her, everything was on track, and that Banite definitely doesn't mean more to her than he should, nope, definitely not. All the while choking down the suffocating inner turmoil that had plagued her for years.

As for why she had to have a physical copy - likely because committing it all to parchment gave it a permanence, a 'realness' that couldn't be avoided. And she would be re-reading it ad nauseum for sure.

7. If your pre-lobotomy Durge could say anything to your post-lobotomy Durge, what would it be?

Okay, so I initially read this the wrong way round, ie: what would post-lobotomy Durge say to pre-lobotomy Durge and prepared a whole answer from that angle, but then I read it properly.

So; pre-lobotomy Mori would likely ask her post-lobotomy counterpart questions in the vein of: 'Is it really better on the other side?', and 'Did we get everything we wanted?'. The answer would of course be 'Overall yes - we lost a lot but also gained a lot too, so on balance it was worth it - life is better for us now'.

8. What was Durges greatest nightmare?

It would definitely be completely losing her autonomy and what little freedom of body and spirit she had. A lot of these thoughts would be surrounding the Slayer form.

I remember reading about Irenicus' research into Bhaalspawn (in fact there was a post here about it the other day), and how through the course of his 'investigations' he apparently observed that each time they transformed into the Slayer, a part of their humanity and sanity would be chipped away - which would make sense, considering. And this was/is certainly a horrifying prospect for Morgayne, if the same risk would indeed apply to Durge.

Thanks for the ask once again! <3

[daemon-in-my-head]

Hey there,

Past life Dark Urge asks - 6th edition

1,7 and 15 please 😄

And thank you for making these!

Ohh thank you for asking, these are spicy. Sorry for the delay though.

1. Durge flayed themselves at least once, why?

Once lol, for him, it's a frequent occurrence. The reason is usually connected to Bhaal, either him 'failing' his father and thinking he deserved to punish himself for it or if Bhaal decided to indulge in that A+ Parenting and ghost his kid, again. Essentially, if Bhaal fucks up he's the one that has to suffer for it.

7. If your pre-lobotomy Durge could say anything to your post-lobotomy Durge, what would it be?

Run, far away, fast and don't fucking look back.

15. If they could rewind time to any moment of their choosing once, would they do it? And which moment would it be?

Honestly, he wouldn't. Not because he doesn't want to change things in his past, he most certainly would love to change certain things that happened, but more so because even if he knew what would happen he could not change it. Kinda hard to go against a literal god and his curse as a kid, so in his mind even if he could go back at best he'd just need to live through everything once again and at worst he would ruin whatever little good he has achieved in the meantime.