#but sometimes i do feel sad abt it

[sunliv]

buaa.........

[alackofghosts]

boogie woogie

[densitywell]

Marisha's comment about how Relvin is one of those parents who ended up with a child they didn't know what to do with really gets to the heart of it, i think, and is such a good way to tie the fantasy element of Imogen's powers into things more tangible. because there are really a lot of parents like Relvin in real life, who have a child with the person they're happily married to and never expect to be left alone with the kid. or who expect a ""normal"" (read: cisgender and heterosexual, able-bodied, relatively neurotypical and obedient, etc.) child and end up with one who's ""difficult"", who demands more or different of them than what they believe they signed up for. and that's not entirely entitlement on a parent's part- many cultures' common frameworks of parenthood and child-rearing do not include space for these children. it makes sense that Relvin was unprepared. raising any child is difficult, and raising a child whose needs you were never taught how to accommodate, who the world is so cruel to, is even more challenging.

and yet. and yet, the person who bears the brunt of the harm in these situations will always be the child. they're the ones who have to live every moment of how the world treats them, without the support that their parent is supposed to provide them. and when asked to care for his child even when she turned out to be ""difficult"", Relvin couldn't. for entirely sympathetic reasons, of course. he tried, in his own way. i don't think he's a bad guy. but he's let his own broken heart bleed onto his daughter. he hasn't been able to give her much else.

[skunkes]

i have soooo much more i cld say abt him, and have explored more thru other doodles, but quick summary of talon's whole deal, which is subject to change still as he's only almost 2 yrs old as an oc

[shibuiking]

[time-is-restored]

btw not to make everything about My Fucking Guy but i honestly think one of the things that seperates q!phil out from the other islanders is the approach he takes to dealing with the lack of agency + control all the islanders have over whatever the fuck the federation's doing.

it shows up most prominently whenever tubbo is excitedly telling him about the 'progress' he's made with cucurucho or various investigations (ie: trapping him into a corner with the 'do you have free will' questions), and phil always shoots it down w an immediate 'that doesn't mean anything. curucuho will say anything to mess with you. you can't take anything he says as true.'

and it's not that phil is... a paticularly pessimistic character? he's just EXTREMELY practical. like, he's yet to give up on anyone EVER finding ANY answers (he was the one who initially gave the federation that one week ultimatum w the cage for a cage stream), he just doesn't trust the idea that curucuho is ever going to voluntarily give them. they're uncontrollable + senseless - you might as well argue with the weather.

and like, if that's how he sees the one (1) and only point of contact the islanders HAD with the federation for months, it explains a lot abt his characters lifestyle! ofc he sits on the wall all day, talking to his kids, and keeping his head down. he believes that the federation wants nothing more than to drag the islanders into sick games + tasks just so they can fuck with their head (ie: curucuho revealing he was the one cellbit gathered all that information for). and while he can't totally PREVENT any of that from ever impacting him, he can make sure his kids are well fed, well protected, and as happy + comfortable as he can manage. this is objectively not a perfect situation, there is a guaranteed amount of suffering + fear that he can't mitigate, but he can at least account for it.

like, he REFUSES to engage. whenever curucho shows up, he treats them with total ambivalence. he's not going to get riled up by anything they do, he's not going to get super attached to the guy, he's just gonna laugh it off and irish goodbye it when things drag on. the ONLY time he's strayed from that general guiding principle has been since he's lost his eggs, and can no longer afford to let the federation's fuckery go: those are his fucking kids.

hence the completely unprecedented levels of outward rage and sadness and terror he shows throughout the birdcage streams - almost all directed directly to cucurucho. it's all a completely fair + proportional response to the horror the islanders are being subjected to, but it feels so different bc until now, q!phil has been so dedicated to not reacting, and not giving the federation any sign that they're actually getting to him.

[satorugojoswiife]

What do you think about gojo ships

I feel like I'm pretty indifferent to most of them. This is super cringe of me, but whenever I fall super in love with a character I don't often like shipping them romantically with anyone. 💀 (im delusional I know)

It doesn't help that for some reason the jjk fandom (especially twt) is weirdly aggressive about ships. I know it isn't all the shippers and it's mostly just the loud minority, but seeing so much of the discourse has kinda put me off and I don't really engage much with the ships in the fandom except for rarepairs and selfships bc alot of the time those communities are more wholesome and cozy (if that makes sense LOL)

[dont-let-me-eat-pears]

after watching "the diamond of the day" for the first time over ten years ago, i thought if i'd known the show was going to end in tragedy, i never would've started it at all. i thought that for years, and for a long time, i was mad at the ending and wished i'd known about it and could've saved myself the pain. but recently i've come around to being glad i hadn't known, because then i never would've discovered some beloved characters and relationships. and now that i'm in the middle of yet another merlin phase and am sadder about the show than i've been in years, i find myself wondering. if i'd known that merlin was a tragedy but that it would give me one of my all-time favorite fictional friendships (merlin and arthur), if i'd known that one day, years in the future, i would decide all the frustration and pain and heartache was worth it, would i have taken the plunge anyway?

[jrueships]

sometimes i'll think abt a Fandom and wish it were bigger, and sometimes i'll read something from a fandom.. and wish it were smaller

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[porto-rosso]

brother where is the charles appreciation

[angelsdean]

the thing abt repressing things abt yourself is. you can actually be so very aware of the thing, for years. and years. but also at the same time be like, "no but i don't actually feel that way" and "i'm clearly an impostor and a fake" and "well yea i kinda feel that way but. not like how other ppl feel abt that thing. so clearly i'm not like them" and "well it's just different when it's me"

[pansyfemme]

i wish i was better at making online friends there are so many ppl that i dont even see on here anymore i thought were sooo cool and then was just too nervous to strike up conversation until it all died down

[skeleticals]

something something people forgetting the mannerisms of dead loved ones and all the little things that didn't usually stand out to you so you just don't. remember them. something about the brain mainly focusing on important information and things that stand out about something or someone. something about slime only remembering certain bits and pieces of flippa but never small things about her (how she used to act, how she used to call him "apa" instead of "papa")

[bunnihearted]

📓🕯️🐇🖤pt.2

[hundredowls]

silly oc doodle..... ballroom yuri