hangingwithdamion

[whitetyger123]

Is Gävle never in sunlight? I check this goat out when I go to sleep, dark. I check it out when I wake up, dark. I check in the middle of the day, dark. And I have not seen a single bird this whole time!

[wileys-russo]

KCC, “Will you carry me to bed?”, at home ❤️

couch nap II k.cooney-cross

"ky are you sure? you hate watching stuff like this." you chuckled as your girlfriend returned, dumping a bowl of popcorn in your lap with a block of chocolate held securely in hand.

"maybe, but i love you. and they make you happy and you had a shit day, and if you're happy i'm happy because i don't want you to have a shit day." kyra explained as you melted, leaning up to kiss her and melting into her side.

"but can we not watch one about the ocean please? i'd still like to go swimming when we go home without worrying about whats underneath me." your girlfriend quickly added on as you flicked through the documentaries.

"and here i was about to click into mysteries of the deep!" you teased, choosing one about africa and accepting the piece of chocolate offered to you from kyra's fingers. "i'm aware only 5% of the ocean has been discovered but i don't need to know anything about that 5%." your girlfriend shook her head stubbornly.

"oh elephants! mad." kyra perked up a little as the documentary started making you smile and kiss her cheek appreciatively. "see? they're not so bad." you promised, shoveling a handful of popcorn into your mouth.

"can we start narrating training like this? oo we could make vlogs for my close friends story!" kyra suggested excitedly around an hour later, the next episode starting.

"the allusive snakehipped wally lurks close to the corner of the pitch, watching with beaded eyes as the younger, better looking, wildly successful kyra cooney cross sprints across the midfield. is it pride in her eyes? or a bitter jealousy she's been surpassed by her protege." kyra mocked in her best david attenborough voice making you laugh.

"i'm so telling her you said that." you teased, moving the now empty popcorn bowl off your lap as your girlfriend stretched out, her head dropping onto your thighs instead.

"no don't! she promised to teach me how to rainbow flick on monday." kyra pouted up at you with a whine and her best puppy dog eyes. "shut up and watch the monkeys cooney-cross." you tutted, squishing her cheeks in your hands and nodding to the screen.

"ky, baby go to bed. i'll be up after this episode, your necks gonna get sore." you warned gently another couple of hours later and shaking her softly, your girlfriend now sprawled out in a strange curled up position in the corner of the sofa.

"no m'fine." kyra mumbled, forcing her eyes open again and shuffling around so she was sitting up a little more as you looked on amused. "ky, go to bed." you laugh, kicking her gently as she shook her head stubbornly, gesturing for you to watch the screen again.

you rolled your eyes knowing this was a bad idea but not bothered to fight her on it, glancing over a few minutes later to see she was once again dead asleep.

the episode finishing you left your girlfriend on the lounge as you washed up your bowls, flicking off all the lights and locking up before returning, chuckling at her very awkward position.

"hey, ky." you squatted down and shook her again, poking her cheeks as she groaned tiredly and swatted your hands away. "come on, time for bed." you smiled, tugging on her hoodie as she sighed deeply.

"will you carry me to bed?" the midfielder asked quietly, opening her arms as her eyes stayed shut. "babe you're like a foot taller than me." you laughed softly, shaking her again as she whined. "i've done it for you so many times, its your turn." kyra mumbled.

"fine, but you need to help me out here and sit up a little baby." you shook your head with a smile, grabbing her hands and tugging her into a sitting position. "okay." you nodded determined, wrapping her arms around you and grabbing under her thighs.

trying to lift her you grunted, your girlfriend purposefully rag dolling to make it harder for you as you finally picked her up but stumbled sending the two of you crashing back to the sofa.

"kyra!" you groaned, smacking her leg as her body vibrated with laughter. "you're making it harder on purpose." you huffed glaring down at her, cheeky grin plastered on her face despite the obvious exhaustion in her eyes.

"piggyback?" kyra tried again this time her smile more charming as you let out a deep and exaggerated groan. "get on then, but carefully!" you warned, standing to your feet and bracing as your girlfriend climbed onto your back.

"this is so romantic." kyra sighed, patting your chest as her chin rested on your shoulder, letting out a yell as you reached the bedroom and dumped her on the bed.

"don't get used to it, i'm the one who gets the princess treatment in this relationship cooney-cross."

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Bonus Drabble 5

Summary: Jungkook has treated you like a princess all day for your birthday and it's all lead up to this very special moment (a little glimpse into their future 🤭) Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 1.5k~ Warning: Honestly no warnings I think. Just some cute fluff and some suggestive language. Nothing crazy (written very quickly but I hope you guys still like it!) Requested by: 🧜‍♀️ anon 💜 (Happy Late Birthday my love) & another anon from a while back 💜 (sorry I didn't get it out till now 🥺) Start from the beginning

"Can I open my eyes now?" I ask, humoring him in this silly game that he's made of my birthday today. 

"Not yet, just a little closer" he say, guiding me by my hips and I soon feel the ground change from some sort of pavement to that of a stonework pathway. "Careful" he warns as I stumble when my foot gets caught on a rock. "I wouldn't have to be careful if I didn't have to keep my eyes closed" I grumble and he laughs before bringing me to a halt.

I feel him walk around me until he's standing right in front of me and tilts my head up towards him. "You and I both know you would've tripped on that rock anyways" he whispers against my lips causing me to shudder. The intensity of his words and actions mixed with the cool crisp air in this open area giving me goosebumps. 

He places a chased kiss on my pouted lips that try to respond to his but he's pulling back before I can even try to deepen it. "Okay, you can open them" he say, now standing behind me and I once I open my eye my breath is instantly taken away. 

"Jungkook" I whisper, a recreation of a beautiful white gazebo covered in twinkling lights and vines full of white roses accompanied by a table for two is the scene I'm met with. The warm glow scatters across the pathway as he ushers me closer. I turn around to face him once we've taken a closer look and I can see how nervous he looks after having revealed his hard work he had put together for the night. 

"You remembered" I say, blinking back the tears that I feel are no doubt making my eyes gloss over. "Did I do a good job?" he asks while he rubs the back of his neck, a nervous habit of his that always makes this strong confident man turn into a shy teenage boy, melting my heart and making me fall in love with him all over again. 

"It's perfect!" I say, going on my tippy toes and kissing him, hints of how I'll show my appreciation to him when we're alone again lightly laced through it. 

"It's almost as if we're in the actual movie!" I say, walking inside of the gazebo and admiring how much attention to detail he's put into this. "No wonder we've been watching A Cinderella Story so often" I say, now connecting the dots and finally figuring out why he had been so sneaky recently. 

"What? Can't a man just simply like a movie?" he playfully scoffs, walking closer to me and wrapping his arms around my waist to pull me close. "Thank you" I say and he hums in response. "Happy Birthday Darling" he replies, leaning down and rubbing his nose against mine. 

He pulls back and waves someone forward that had been hiding in the shadows and when I turn around I realize he's somehow managed to get a stringed quartette for the night. "Jungkook this is too much" I say, knowing that stuff like this definetly isn't cheap. 

"Don't worry, I only booked them for half an hour" he says making me laugh at his ways of trying to explain away how much he's spent on me the entire day as he's bought me almost everything I've so much glanced at, even when I asked him not to. 

I turn around and take a couple steps closer to the table and see the candles just waiting to be lit accompanied by my drink of choice on ice. 

"You-" I start off, turning around to face him but notice he's holding a white gift box wrapped with a white satin bow. "Jungkook" I scold, remembering how I told him to stop buying things for me already. "This is the last thing I promise" he says and I give him a warning glance before tugging on the ribbon and opening the lid and what I see inside really makes me want to cry this time. 

"I don't deserve all this" I say, tears welling up in my eyes and he panics and places the box on the table. "Please don't cry. I didn't mean to make you cry" he says, pulling me closer and placing a kiss on the crown of my head. 

"You've been treating me like a princess this whole day and then you not only do that but then plan all of this as well? Even down to the smallest details" I say, pulling away from him and reaching back into the box to pull out the beautifully, intricately designed pure white masquerade mask. 

"Well I did want to give you your own Cinderella Story for your birthday since I know it's your comfort movie. You do deserve this darling, and so much more" he say, wiping a stray tear off my cheek. "You even had us get breakfast at a diner this morning too" I chuckle and he does so right along with me. 

"What's wrong with that? Sam worked at a dinner in the movie right?" he asks and I nod my head in confirmation. "I should've known something was up when I saw roller skates" I say, joining along in his laughter. 

"You're just lucky I didn't try to get Hillary Duff over here to take your order" he teases poking me in the side which gains him a wack in the arm that he so dramatically responds to by faking a wince. "I would've preferred Jennifer Coolidge. She was so mean to Sam in that movie I would've loved to see her slip and fall in roller skates again" I wink and he continues laughing at my devious words. 

"You know she's like 60 years old now right? She could fall and break her hip" he says and I wave him off. "She's 62, she's not that old. If you're talking like that about her then you better start counting your years grandpa" I say patting him twice on the same bicep I hit earlier. 

"You're a little trouble maker you know you" he says, and tries to corner me. "Yes, yes I do. Don't get ahead of yourself though Daddy, we have company" I say, nodding towards the four who have been giving us a backing track to our nonsensical interaction. 

"Careful Bunny, you shouldn't be throwing words like that out in the open. I'm not opposed to bending you over that little table" he threatens and I visibly gulp, having forgotten exactly who I'm dealing with. "You know" I squeak out before clearing my throat, "You know you still haven't asked me to dance" I say and he smirks and steps back, giving me some breathing room and grabs the mask. 

"May I" he asks, holding it up so he can put it on me and I respond by turning my back to him so he can tie it. Once he's done his hands trail down my body and rest on my waist while he leans in and places some feather light kisses along my neck.

"Jungkook" I breathe out, trying but failing at adding a sterner tone to it. "Yes darling?" he asks, running his nose along the column of my neck. "A dance, just a dance" I say regrettably, lost in the feeling of him touching me like this but too embarrassed to let any of this go any further. 

He sighs against my skin before placing one more kiss this time under my ear and then twirling me around before dipping me into a low heated kiss. 

He stands back up and steadies me on my feet, still feeling a little woozy from the unexpected motion. He laughs and keeps a hold of my waist so I don't stumble before pulling me close and into that dance that I had mentioned. 

"You still didn't ask me" I grumble and he chuckles before pulling away, doing exactly as Austin Ames had done with his princely bow. "May I have this dance?" he questions and I wait a moment as if contemplating it and when he cocks his brow at me I immediately take his hand and he whisks me off my feet and twirls us about the small space. 

"Jungkook put me down!" I giggle and he slow his turns to a stop and places me back on my feet. "Are you trying to make me sick or something?" I ask in reference to all of the dipping and twirling and his casual efforts that just continue to take my breath away. 

"Not unless it's lovesick" he chuckles, placing a kiss on my forever pouted lips and walking over to pull out my chair. 

We continue the night with a candle lit dinner and his continued efforts to make me laugh and it's at that moment that I truly, with my entire heart hope that we will spend the rest of our lives together... 

And maybe in the next one too if he's lucky. 

Series Masterlist 

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @coralmusicblaze @whoa-jo @00frenchfries00 @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater Taglist continued in reblogs on my second blog @ahgasegotarmy116recs

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[nina-ya]

Law Helping You Relax

Pairing: Law x Reader CW: None WC: ~750 A/N: gasp 2 posts in one day?? Who am I??? LMAO anyways I've been drowning in work lately and I just want Law to pull me away and help me relax sooooo thats where this came from :) Tagging: @enchantedforest-network

“You look like you can use a breather,” Law’s voice breaks your focus as you feel calloused hands gliding over your shoulders. Despite the disruption, you persist, continuing the work you’ve been immersed in for hours now. 

The raven-haired man sighs audibly, shifting behind you. He leans down, lips brushing the shell of your ear as he insists, “That’s not a suggestion. You need a break.” One of his hands clasps yours, halting your work, while the other hand starts massaging your shoulder, easing the tension that has built up over the hours. 

Succumbing to the allure of relaxation, you sigh in contentment. “Since when are you one to advocate for a break? I always see you working nonstop.” You ask, locking eyes with him.

“Do as I say, not as I do.” Law retorts, voice laced with a playful undertone. 

“Fine, but only for 5 minutes,” you concede, allowing the sensation of relaxation to envelop you completely. 

Law continues the motion of massaging your shoulder, the tension relieving with each touch of his. He then pauses somewhat abruptly, as if struck with an idea. Without warning, he firmly grasps your arm and hoists you up from where you were sitting.

“Huh? What are you–” Your protest was cut off as he began to pull you out of the room. “Wait, but I’m not done yet,” you continue, lightly resisting his pull.

“Last time I checked, I still have 3 minutes of your time, so come on,” he retorts, a determination evident in his voice as he guides you onto the deck of the submarine. He leads you towards the railings before sitting down. He taps the spot next to him, silently urging you to join him.

You hesitate for a moment before complying, sitting down next to him. He immediately pulls you into his side, his warmth enveloping you. 

As if he can sense your thoughts, he speaks up, his voice low. “You needed a change of scenery. You’ve been cooped up in there all day. I bet you didn’t even know it was nighttime until I dragged you out here.”

"I’m not ignorant, I knew that it’s night. It’s not even that late anyways, it’s barely 11” you retort, trying to assert your awareness. 

An amused smirk tugs at the corner of Law’s lips. “3,’ he stated simply.

“What?” you ask, puzzled by his ambiguousness. 

“It’s 3am. You’re about four hours off,” he clarified, amusement evident in his tone. 

You sit in stunned silence for a moment, the realization sinking in that Law is right. You indeed have lost track of time and now you are suffering the consequences. Your earlier declaration of just a five-minute break has faded into the background, as exhaustion creeps up on you. Law seems to take your silence as some sort of victory, leaning his head back against the railing as he gazes up at the star-studded sky above. 

Dots of light freckle the region above, a beautiful and somewhat uncommon sight to behold out at sea since the submarine is usually submerged underwater. You follow Law’s gaze, taking in the breathtaking sight before you. As if on cue, a shooting star streaks across the sky.

“Make a wish,” you mutter softly, feeling the weight of the exhaustion settle upon you. “I don’t know about you, but I wish I could just finish this work already,” you continue with a deep sigh. 

“I’m pretty sure your wishes don’t come true if you say them out loud,” Law remarks, his eyes still fixed on the twinkling heavens above.

“Since when do you believe in that stuff?” you ask, curiosity coloring your tone.

He shrugs nonchalantly. “It comes and goes,” he replies cryptically, as if he is lost in thought. 

You can’t help but roll your eyes with a soft chuckle at Law’s comment, finding his puzzling statement amusing, Snuggling closer into his side, you welcome the comfort and warmth he provides. A gentle breeze dances across your skin, prompting you to instinctively try and seek warmth in Law’s embrace. 

Law notices this, and he reaches out, opening his captain’s coat to drape it over you. Pulling you even closer, he envelops you in a newfound warmth. What had started as a five-minute break has morphed into a much needed respite. As you nestle against him, your breathing gradually slows, the rhythmic rocking of the ship beneath you lulling you into a sense of calmness. Sleep soon embraces you, Law’s arms holding you throughout the night, helping you escape in the dream world before facing what the next day might hold.

[syndrossi]

Bit of a non-resonant question for once:

What program do you use to write with? Any particular fonts or techniques that help get you in the writing zone? Do you edit as you write or write and then edit after you have a skeleton/base finished?

Ah, love me some writing questions!

Writing program

For my very early fandom life, I liked to use Wordpad (rather than proper Word) because it was very simple but still allowed basic formatting and didn't have Word's annoying "suggestions" that I always ignore.

Then I bought Scrivener, which appealed to me because it let you organize your writing into "folders" almost, while allowing you to still easily switch between separate bits of writing and view the work as a whole. I loved it because I'm always playing with concept work or alternate POVs, and it let me organize all the related bits around the main work. I still use Scrivener to organize my D&D games that I DM!

These days, I tend to use Google Docs for easy syncing. I like being able to write and read my work everywhere. I mostly write at my desk, but will reread and edit occasionally on my phone (at home or elsewhere) or on my laptop when I'm lounging in bed. One thing I used to do, in summer of all things, was take a nice long soak in the bath and reread Resonant before starting work on a new chapter. It's too long these days to do that, alas!

I don't love Google Docs itself, because I really do miss the organization Scrivener gave me. (Scrivener would be amazing for the Halloween prompts, honestly!) And the single doc that holds all of Resonant is starting to choke a bit on its size. But the convenience keeps it as my writing tool of choice for now.

There was one other piece of Scrivener-esque paid writing software I looked at a while back that sync'd its content in the cloud, but I remember not being super blown away by it and I've forgotten the name.

Getting into the zone

This is usually a matter of rereading the current chapter or the previous chapter to get my head in the right place, both in terms of tone and flow. Sometimes, if I'm feeling very fancy, I'll light a scented candle. But I'm a pretty basic person. It's usually just me deciding "okay, enough screwing around, let's do some writing" and then I write. (In the past, when I was strict about reaching 1K/day and was struggling with a particular section, I would give myself the "treat" every 100 words of a short break.)

I had a period where I only felt "in the zone" when the sun was still out, which makes things hard when you work a 9-5 job and have to take care of dinner/the dog after. Fortunately, that phase is over and I'm back to writing whenever. That phase was odd because I am more typically a "can't really get in the proper zone until midnight" person. I would say that most of Resonant was written between the hours of 10PM and 4AM.

The hardest things for me to write are new characters and new POVs, as those usually involve me refreshing myself on the body of work for that particular character (rewatching them in the show, and rereading their bits in F&B). Not applicable to OCs, usually, unless they're Essos-related characters, because those involve a lot of interpolating of the few scraps GRRM has shared of the Free Cities.

Editing process

I'm pretty much the opposite of a skeleton writer. 😅 I'll constantly edit myself as I write. There's a certain minimum level of "acceptable" I have to maintain to move onto the next paragraph, with the sole exception being the heavy writing months with my word count minimum where I just wanted to be done for the night. That said, I do on occasion make use of [finish this scene] or [name this later] or [figure out how this works] injections.

And since I reread the current chapter when getting into the writing zone, that usually means doing light editing as I go if an easy fix to something I wasn't happy with occurs to me.

Sometimes, a particular stretch of scenes or chapters doesn't "feel" right, and I have to rewrite, remove, or add entire scenes. That's usually done at the start of a writing session and sometimes takes up the entire time.

The day before posting is the "final edits" day. It's where I fill in any brackets I left behind, and edit the most stubborn bits I wasn't happy with, until everything is close to 100% satisfaction. I definitely do the most editing of a chapter in this span, and often this adds 500ish words to a given chapter. I've had chapters where I was already pretty much completely happy (ch13 comes to mind) and I just had to do a basic grammar/flow check. Those are nice, they take no more than an hour. Others, I'm burning the midnight oil to fill in the blanks and figure out how the heck to fix a particular sentence or phrase of dialogue that's been vexing me.

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Evie (Ace!Tav) Playthrough Day 4

(I love Evie in this fit)

Day 1… Day 3- Day 5

Astarion x Evie (Ace!Tav) Masterlist

For the uninitiated, I wrote a Tav well before I ever had a chance to play the game. Now, I finally can and thought it might be fun for my first play through to be as that Tav. Or, at least as much as the game play will allow me.

These are just some of my notes and scattered highlights that I thought would be fun to share.

Let me know if you think if I should continue this and any suggestions you might have.

So much happened you guys holy shit!!!

Technically this is a combination of two days, since I didn't have time last night and figured I'd wait until after I played some more today (there is just so much of this game I feel like two hour sessions barely scratch the surface)

First off, it took me way too long to figure out how to deactivate the traps in the back cavern in the Emerald Grove

Legitimately nearly died twice; if it weren't for my saves I would have

Not ashamed to admit, I needed to google it; I have never claimed to be a "gamer"

Still got it sorted (and if anybody knows how to get to that center bit in the middle of the cavern, please let me know)

After that decided to go after best girl Karlach

Ran into the Owl Bear cave first and I am upset

I *really* didn't want to kill the Owl Bear mama, but even with non-lethal damage the cub still eats it's mother; seems like it all is the same in the end

I'm now thinking more and more that Evie and Shadowheart get to be good friends; Evie takes a more benefit of the doubt approach to people, and I don't think she knows enough about the Gods and Shar specifically to have many thoughts on the subject

I've been purposefully handing all the books and other info to whoever else is there so Evie doesn't get the info from reading

Lae'zel and Shadowheart are also majorly at each other's throats in the first act

Lae'zel also would not be a fan of Evie; Evie comparatively talks way too much for Lae'zel's taste (+11 to Persuasion will do that to a person) (did I mention I love bards)

Did eventually get to Karlach and she's so great guys! I knew I was going to love her, but I *love* her

She deserves to wreck the Paladins of Tyr hide out, as a treat

(That one bitch was giving me so much trouble, thank God for Wyll's Eldritch Blast or we would have been spending all our actions just trying to keep up)

I am once again faced with not being able to punch a ginger bitch because of *consequences*

Also, I hate all the options they give you when talking to Wyll after he's transformed into a devil

None of this is what Evie would say to him!

Either way though, I am secure in the fact that Wyll would like Evie (even if he's not a fan of her trust in Astarion)

So, one long rest later and we're heading towards the Blighted Villiage; Astarion, Gale and Karlach in toe

Came across the boar and Astarion really is so suspicious

I also think at this point Astarion really doesn't know what to make of Evie; placing her in category bleeding heart no doubt and not certain of her abilities

She's a good talker, as she's able to convince the goblins to let them pass without a fight

On the other hand, she did assists Gale with his little problem, sacrificing a necklace of Dancing Lights

Also it doesn't help that she was nice to a gnome

I think what starts to change his mind though is when they meet Raphael on the road

I really do wish you could give Gur as a background, because even if Evie didn't grow up in the caravan, I do think just culturally she'd pick up on stuff

Not trusting devils I'm sure is top of the list

I wasn't expecting to have Evie so viscerally mistrusting of Raphael, but it felt right to play it that way

I'm not sure who he'd remind her of in her past, but I do think there is something beyond just him being a devil that rubs her the wrong way

Either way, her rejection of a devil's bargain that would not only enslave her, but likely them as well, even in exchange for a cure does re-color some things

Not sure where to insert this in the grand scheme of the narrative, but Evie did let Astarion open the door on the orger and hobgoblin

Evie's talking did not help in this situation

I know the narrative makes it clear what's happening, but I'm thinking Evie might have had a random ace blind spot moment

Like she's not totally naive about sex, but when it's usually the last thing on your mind (and you just talked with a devil), it's not the first thing you picture at the sound of banging

Not her smoothest moment; (honestly the sudden violence is a god send for everyone not to ask her more questions about it)

Either way, went back to the grove with some of the infernal iron and got Karlach stabilized at least

I love Karlach and Wyll's friendship, I support wholesome ships; low key starting to ship her with Dammon though

He's real cute, Karlach deserves a nice guy, and you know he'd roll with the punches

Another long rest later and we're here

The scene

I've been thinking about the build up to this scene

Obviously we know in origins it's after Astarion has a vision of Cazador and wanting to push the limits of his new found freedom by going against one of his rules

But I keep coming back to why Evie

Astarion can likely smell something being wrong with Gale's blood, Wyll just turned into a devil and would likely kill him, Karlach's blood is literal fire, and Lae'zel would also absolutely kill him

That leaves Shadowheart and Evie

Shadowheart is a big question mark to him; she follows Shar, maybe she might even like being bitten

But then there's Evie who has shown time and time again that she wants to help

This is about survival after all, and it would only be a taste

IDK, exploring it; add it to the list of possible future fics

But Evie obviously does wake up and does allow Astarion to bite her

As for Evie's motivations as to why, yes, Astarion is a prickly bastard, but he's in the same boat as the rest of them

If he wanted to hurt them, surely he would have done it by now

She recognizes the look in his eyes, Gods know she's worn it enough; the man is starving, the fact he hasn't done anything until now says a lot

This is definitely the shift in her and Astarion's relationship where they start to actually warm up to each other

So next morning gang wakes up, Evie stands up to Astarion saying she trusts him and heads out again towards the goblin camp; Shadowheart, Astarion and Lae'zel in toe

So Evie's current standing with the party;

Gale has disclosed his condition and gotten the first magical item; high rating with Evie, thinks of her as somebody who he can not only trust, but as someone who has shown bravery and true kindness (not to mention eloquence); maybe starting to form an...appreciation

Wyll has turned into a devil and certainly likes Evie, but maybe a little doubtful in her trust in Astarion and some dealings with the goblins

Shadowheart; genuinely trusts Evie as she's revealed her ambitions as a follower of Shar, and used the artifact in front of Evie in order to protect them from the influence of The Absolute (also might be starting to crush on her, but Evie has not been taking the opportunity to flirt)

Karlach: too soon to tell, but seems like a good person

Lae'zel: not a fan, too weak willed and doesn't know her place; talks too much

Astarion; unsure, certainly knows he can trust her now, to an extent; still too much of a bleeding heart, but then again, it's helped him; at the very least she knows to draw the line with devils and willing to kill to stay alive, over all a fair ally to have

Oh! I can't believe I forgot about my new best boy!

Scratch!

[sebstanismyspiritanimal]

Here's chapter 5! Sorry for the late update but I work full-time and am getting ready to move so I've been super busy! But this chapter is extra long to make up for it 😁

I would like to apologize in advance for Uncle Wayne 😔 he is one of my favorite parents to come out of Stranger Things, but I honestly really love making my characters feel so much pain only to make them heal and become stronger later. There's probably a term for that 🤷🏼‍♀️

As always leave any suggestions or comments as you please and here's chapter 4 if you missed it :)

The case was closed after three days in Nebraska and the team was quickly packing up files and papers at Quantico to hand in to Hotch and take the next two days off.

Spencer hadn't mentioned the radio to Eddie or the voice on the other end, and she hadn't either. He had watched her the next day and she didn't seem tired or worse off for most likely having spent a night up and talking to someone else.

She didn't bring the radio out in the day time and so Spencer let the matter drop, who was he to say someone was acting weird?

"I'm thinking a night out with drinks and dancing to decompress, anyone else in?" Emily was asking as the agents were crowding in the bullpen to leave. JJ, Derek, and Penelope all quickly agreed and they looked to Spencer and their newest member for their answers.

"Ah, no thanks, crowds and flashing lights aren't really my thing." Eddie sheepishly grinned at the boos that were starting.

"Besides ive still got an apartment to unpack and that is taking ages." Penelope seemed to perk up at that and grinned brightly.

"We can help! It'll go a lot faster with more hands helping!" Everyone else around her started making noises of consent, making Eddie start to protest, "No, you guys go have fun, I can handle the unpacking myself." But they fell on deaf ears, "I'll bring pizza!" Derek said as he started calling someone on his phone, "And I'll bring the drinks!" JJ threw her hand up to volunteer.

Spencer gave Eddie a small grin, "There's no point in arguing, but we are rather efficient. If this FBI thing doesn't work out we could definitely start a moving company." His grin got wider as Eddie let out a quiet laugh, "You all just want to snoop don't you?"

She gave everyone her address and they all dispersed in the parking lot, walking to different cars.

"Do you mind if I just catch a ride to your place? I don't see the point in riding the metro twice tonight." Eddie told him to hop in and they were smoothly driving out of the parking lot.

The ride was silent for a while before Spencer started to talk, "So what made you join the task force? You said you joined right out of high school, right?" Eddie's grip on the wheel tightened before she deliberately relaxed her hands.

"It wasn't my decision, not really. The other members of the team were my friends. We were all approached and recruited together and they decided to join up so I followed them."

Spencer was pretty shocked by her answer but before he could ask anything else she was pulling in to a parking lot, "You live in the sister building to mine!" Spencer exclaimed before he could help himself.

"Yeah? The taller one right there?" He nodded at the building she was pointing at.

"Seems silly for you to keep riding the metro everyday then."

"Oh, you dont-"

"Spence, literally it takes no extra time in my commute, your building shares a parking lot with mine." He blushed as she laughed brightly and began the trek up her stairs.

Not even an hour later and JJ, Penelope, Derek, and Emily were in various parts of her living room organizing and unpacking from boxes, asking questions about things they found and laughing through their own guesses if Eddie pretended she couldn't hear them.

Penelope opened a new box and let out a large gasp, "Guys! I found the nerd box!" Everyone gathered around her to look at the contents. Figurines and banners and tshirts from multiple different franchises spilled out and on top was a large stack of DnD Manuel's, notebooks, loose paper drawings, etc.

"Munson, you weren't kidding about the DnD stuff, what is all of this?" Derek whistled as he started leafing thru the large stack.

"Hey I never kid about Dungeons and Dragons. I was DM for the club I started in my highschool. I met some really good people thru that group." Eddie explained shuffling thru the pile and smiling slightly.

Garcia gasped and dove her hand in the box pulling out a stack of frames with various people in them.

"Look! Baby Eddie!" She cheered and showed the group the top picture of Eddie surrounded by a large group of people, are varying ages. They were all smiling but it seemed that most of everyone had been crying right before the picture was taken.

"Who are all these people?" Emily asked her, touching the faces of a couple of them.

"That's my family. That was the day we left for training for the force." Eddie whispered, smiling gently at the picture.

She cleared her throat abruptly, "This is Jonathon, Steve, Robin, and Nancy" she pointed to each individual person, "they were in the task force with me."

The group looked thru the other three pictures, the same people sprinkled thru each one except the last, the last one was just a selfie type picture with a teenage Eddie and an older, greying man that hadn't been in any of the other photos.

When Penelope uncovered it, Eddie took it gently from her.

"That's my Uncle Wayne, he took me in when i was 11 after my dad got sent to federal lock up for the last time."

"Is he still in Hawkins?" JJ asked her, noticing the sad smile on her colleagues face.

"No. No, he died my senior year, earthquake took out the trailer park we lived in and he was home, got caught up in the rubble." Everyone looked away to give her some privacy to wipe the tears gathering in her eyes.

The crackle of a radio turning on broke the atmosphere of the apartment and made everyone look at the dining room table.

~Jonathon and Steve requesting roll call.~

The voice on the other end sounded strained and tired, making Eddie walk over to it immediately and put the speaker to her mouth, but she paused before she said anything.

One by one different voiced came over saying different names, obviously replying to the roll call.

~Lucas~

~Dustin~

~Robin~

~Nancy~

~Mike~

~Max~

~El~

~Will~

~Erica~

Finally Eddie clicked her button

~Eddie~

At that the radio went silent, until Eddie started talking into it again.

~Jon.~

~He's okay. It was another terror, but I brought him out and he wanted a roll call. He's back asleep already, I gave him some medicine so hopefully we can avoid a migraine in the next couple days.~ the answering voice was tired, it was the same man who had requested the roll call but it was whispered now, trying to be quiet for someone.

~Okay, let me know if he needs anything.~

~Will do.~

When Eddie turned around to face her team she had to turn back around so she wouldn't cry again.

They were silently unpacking boxes again, not one person looking at her confused, waiting for an explanation, but letting her have her moment with her family, as strange as it was.

[tiredassmage]

5,10,17 for the interview asks

who am i but a vessel to torture tyr with honesty sknlsfsldf

[oc interview questions]

5. Do you have any role models? Tell us a little bit about them.

A light chuckle tumbles from him, only partially concealed by the way a hand masks the upward tilt of his lips. Just a few. And only if you promise not to tell. The hand scrubs contemplatively against the stubble along his jaw. I’d… never admitted quite so much to the old man’s face, but ah… the Minister, Keeper… He shakes his head slightly, eyes cast to a wall behind you both - or perhaps something you can’t see. I’d always thought he was looking out for me from the start. There’s that faint smile again - only at one corner of his lips, but present all the same. For all that he called me an idealist, I don’t… I don’t believe he ever gave up on them nearly as much as he said he did. Things… Well, this business is rarely ever… Your hands don’t stay clean in this work. Ever. Both hands drop back into his lap, one toying idly with a stylus, twisting it back and forth between and over his fingers in one hand. Fingers of the other tap a pattern against his thigh. He did what he could though. I’ll… I’ll always respect him for that. He was… A lot of the agent I was - am - is his influence. I’d… never wanted to let him down, for everything… Tyr nods, mostly to himself. I… suppose I wish I’d said as much more directly, last we spoke. He puffs a faint breath of an almost-chuckle. He was a good leader. We shouldn’t have lost Intelligence. They don’t know what they lost. But… perhaps, at least, the dejarik games were enough, in the end. At least one for one of us.

10. What’s your biggest goal? How do you hope to achieve this?

This makes him frown before he rolls his jaw. His hands still. Silence for several moments. I’d like to see an end to this war, I think. As bloody unlikely as it seems. He scoffs. Irritation flashes in his pale eyes. Something more fiery than the usual stoic facade. I think I’d burn it all to the ground if I could. Maybe. He blinks, inhales carefully, and twists the stylus around his fingers again before flashing a smile - convincingly cordial, if not quite entirely reaching the corner of his eyes like before. But that’s not for polite society. And it wouldn’t do any real good, anyway. I’m getting too old for all this shit anyway, I suppose. Be a gem and buy us some drinks, why don’t you? That ought to take the edge of it off.

Still, I reckon I'll... settle for just... doing what I can. I'll never change what I was; I wouldn't want to. But I've got a lot of blood on my hands. More than enough. Still, it's given me the tools I have now. So maybe... maybe there's still enough left to actually make change. Good change. Maybe there'll be enough of this galaxy left to actually retire out of some day, eh?

17. Have you ever been in love?

A proper, hearty laugh this time, no effort given to conceal the grin across his lips. I’d certainly hope so, if I’m married. The smile turns sly. Careful, you’ll make Shan blush. Though… wouldn’t be such a shame, I suppose. He's pretty cute, you know? The ex-Cipher winks.

His head shakes slightly with his own amusement. But, yes, in short - and… several times, I suppose. I… knew a brilliant woman once, named Shara; we’d worked together, back in the day. Hard not to want to get to know someone you’ll have in your ear analyzing your every move for a couple hundred hours, I think I’d told her at least once. He leans back, a bit quieter again. A bit of distance has returned to his eyes. It was… unprofessional. She wanted nothing to do with me at first, outside of the work. Still, he smiles faintly. But it was… it was nice. We were… I guess it’s young love. Let it happen, anyway, and I… Eventually, I didn’t want to distract from her promotion; we still had to work together, of course… He shakes his head as if to clear it, though the nostalgic cock of his head suggests there’s more he’s not quite sharing. She was… brilliant. Beautiful, of course, but… a brilliant mind. And a better, sharper sense of humor than she’d ever let you claim on the job. I guess we were both like that, in a way. But, such were the demands of our work… He straightens again. Yes, in short. It’s… Not everything in this galaxy is so doomed, y’know? I… I am thankful for that much, at least.

[bechloeislegit]

25 Days of BeChloe Christmases 2022

Day 5 - Chloe's Best Christmas Ever Continues

Author's Prompt (from 2021 fics): I've had a couple of requests asking what Beca did for Chloe on Christmas Day so, this is a continuation of 2021's Chloe's Best Christmas Ever?  To bring you up to speed, Beca invited Chloe to LA to spend Christmas with her because she hasn't seen Chloe since moving to LA two years ago. Chloe has always hated Christmas and never had a good one. Beca goes all out to give Chloe the best Christmas ever. After an amazing Christmas Eve, Chloe wakes to the Best Christmas Day Ever.

Chloe was still smiling when she woke up next to Beca the next morning.

"Merry Christmas, Chloe," Beca said as she leaned in to kiss Chloe.

"Yes, it is," Chloe said, pulling Beca closer and deepening the kiss.

The kiss ended, and Chloe buried her face in Beca's neck, mumbling, "Only two days in, and it's already the best Christmas I've ever had."

"Wait until you see what I have planned for today," Beca said, smiling and hugging Chloe closer to her.

"I hope it starts with a big breakfast," Chloe said. "I was so nervous and excited last night that I didn't eat very much. Now I'm starving."

Beca checked the time. "Can you wait about an hour? We have brunch plans."

"We do?"

"Yes, we do," Beca replied, chuckling as she tried to roll away from Chloe.

"Mmmm, but I'm so comfy," Chloe said, holding Beca tighter.

"Come on," Beca said. "There will be plenty of food and maybe even some mimosas involved."

"Ugh," Chloe said, releasing Beca. "You know I can't refuse a good mimosa."

"I do know that," Beca said, climbing out of bed before Chloe tried to pull her back. "Get up and get dressed."

"Fine," Chloe said, getting off the bed. "What should I wear?"

"It's low-key and casual," Beca said. "I'm wearing jeans and a light Christmas sweater."

"What?" Chloe practically screeched. "You own a Christmas sweater? The same girl who called Jessica lame whenever she wore one? The same girl who threatened to make Amy do extra cardio when she suggested that whoever your Secret Santa was should get you one? That girl?"

"Ha Ha," Beca said. "It was a gift, and we're going to see the person who gave it to me, so I thought I'd wear it. Speaking of gifts, I have some things under the tree for you. You can't open them until later."

"I thought the plane ticket and last night's party were my gifts from you," Chloe said.

"They are," Beca said. "It's just a little something extra I picked up so you'd have something to open today."

Tears came to Chloe's eyes as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"I don't know what to say," Chloe mumbled.

"You don't have to say anything," Beca said, kneeling in front of Chloe. "I told you I was going to make this Christmas one to remember. And, if you'll let me, I'll give you plenty more. I love you, Chloe."

Chloe threw her arms around Beca's neck and smashed their lips together. "I love you, too."

"Good," Beca said, pulling back from the kiss. "Now, get dressed. Our ride will be here shortly."

"Okay," Chloe said, wiping her eyes.

~~ 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2022 ~~

Chloe was ready before Beca and was sitting on the sofa waiting for her. She looked up when she heard Beca coming down the stairs. She giggled when she saw what Beca was wearing.

"Oh, my God!" Chloe said. "You look totes adorable in the sweater."

"Having a moose on my sweater isn't adorable," Beca said. "It's badass."

"Nope," Chloe said, shaking her head. "Having a sweater with a moose and the words Merry Chris-Moose is not badass. It's adorable."

"Agree to disagree," Beca said, checking her phone. "Our car should be here any minute."

There was a knock at the door.

"I guess that's him," Beca said, opening the door to a man.

"Miss Mitchell," the man said. "I am Jason, and will be your driver for the day."

"Thank you, Jason," Beca said as she turned to Chloe and held out her hand. "You ready?"

"I'm ready," Chloe said, taking Beca's hand.

Beca held Chloe's hand as they followed Jason to the car. Chloe looked at the car and stopped.

"There's someone already in the car," Chloe said.

"I know," Beca said. "Come on. Let's not keep them waiting."

Jason opened the car door, and Chloe was startled when Aubrey and Stacie yelled, "Merry Christmas, Chloe!"

"Brey? Stacie?" Chloe said, holding a hand to her chest. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Beca's Christmas gift to us was plane tickets to LA," Aubrey said. "So, we could celebrate Christmas with you."

"Although I'm a bit put out that we weren't invited to the studio's party last night," Stacie said as she moved closer to Aubrey so Beca and Chloe could get into the car.

Chloe got in and hugged Stacie and then Aubrey before sitting next to Aubrey. Beca climbed in and sat next to Chloe.

"I already told you, Stacie," Beca said. "Everyone was only allowed a plus one, and Chloe was it for me."

"You really missed out, Stacie," Chloe said, smirking. "We sat at the same table as Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Adele, and Emily."

"Emily who?" Aubrey asked.

"Our Emily," Chloe said. "Emily Junk."

"Oh," Aubrey said. "How is she doing? Doesn't she work with you, Beca?"

"She's good," Chloe said.

"Yes, she does," Beca said.

"Maybe we can arrange to see her while we're here," Stacie said. "It's been forever."

"Don't worry, you'll see her," Beca said.

Beca sat back smiling as Chloe regaled Aubrey and Stacie with stories of the party the night before. They had been riding for about fifteen minutes when Beca noticed they were close to their destination. She sat up and looked out the window as Jason parked the car.

"We're here," Beca said, getting everyone's attention.

Jason opened the door, and Beca got out. She held out her hand to Chloe, and Chloe took it.

"Is this place open?" Chloe asked. "It looks closed."

"Oh, it is," Beca said. "I rented out the whole place."

"You did what?" Chloe asked, shocked. "Why would you do that?"

"So we wouldn't be disturbed by fans and paparazzi," Beca explained. "Come on, let's get inside. They're expecting us!"

"Who's expecting us?" Chloe asked, looking over to Stacie and Aubrey.

"You'll see," Beca said, holding out her hand to Chloe. "Do you trust me?"

"With every fiber of my being," Chloe said and took Beca's hand.

~~ 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2022 ~~

Beca led Chloe to a door and stopped; Stacie and Aubrey stood behind Chloe.

"Okay," Beca said. "When Aubrey told me about how you didn't like seeing your family for Christmas, it gave me an idea. I decided that you really needed to be around your family today."

Chloe pulled her hand out of Beca's. "My parents aren't in there, are they?"

"What? No," Beca said. "When I said your family, I meant your Bella family. Our Bella family."

With that, Beca threw open the doors. Tears came to Chloe's eyes as she looked around to see all the Bellas standing around with their significant others.

"Oh, my gosh," Chloe said. "They're all really here."

"As soon as I said it was for you," Beca said. "They agreed to come. Every single one of them."

Chloe pulled Beca into a kiss, and Beca put her arms around Chloe's waist, pulling her closer. The Bellas cheered.

"Come on," Aubrey said, gently pushing Chloe and Beca to get them moving. "I'm sure everyone is hungry. Let's not keep them waiting."

"Yeah, you two, move it," Stacie said. "I'm starving."

The four former Bellas stopped to greet their Bella sisters as they made their way to their table. When they reached Emily, she squealed and laughed.

"I can't believe you wore that," Emily said, looking at Beca's sweater. "You told me you were going to burn it when I gave it to you."

"I couldn't burn it," Beca said, looking down at the sweater. "It was a gift, so I had to wear it at least once, and then I'll burn it."

Once they arrived at the table, Beca pulled out the chair for Chloe.

"Wow, how chivalrous," Chloe commented, kissing Beca's cheek.

Servers came out and placed hot food items in chafing dishes and set up the other goodies on the tables. One of the servers walked over to Beca.

"Miss Mitchell," the server said. "Everything is ready. You may begin whenever you are ready."

"Thank you," Beca said, standing. "Okay, everyone, the food's ready. The line starts behind Chloe."

"You all can go ahead," Chloe said as she stood. "I'm going to check everything out first."

Chloe smiled and took Beca's hand, and led her to the various tables to see what was available. The others made a line and proceeded to fill their plates.

~~ 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2022 ~~

Everyone was done eating, and murmurs of various conversations were heard around the room. Beca excused herself from the table and went to the kitchen. She thanked everyone and handed each worker an envelope with what she hoped was a nice tip.

"I want to thank you all for taking time from your holiday to work today," Beca said to the group. "Everything was amazing. We're done, and you can start clearing everything. I don't want to keep you any longer than necessary."

"Thank you, Miss Mitchell," the head chef said. "Have a good rest of your holiday."

Beca thanked the woman and left the kitchen. Several of the servers followed her out and began clearing everything.

Jason entered the room and immediately went over to Beca.

"Miss Mitchell," Jason said. "Additional vehicles are here, and we're all ready to leave whenever you are."

"Thank you, Jason," Beca said. "We're done and will be out in a few minutes."

"Excellent," Jason said.

Jason left, and Beca stood in the middle of the room, getting everyone's attention.

"Okay, everyone," Beca said. "We have cars here to take everyone to my house, where we will continue this little reunion. The cars will be available to transport you all back to your hotel whenever you're ready to go. Make sure you have everything before you leave."

Everyone stood and gathered their belongings. Beca and Chloe led the group out the doors, and everyone got into a car.

~~ 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2022 ~~

Ever since they returned from Brunch, Beca had been busy playing hostess, and Chloe wanted a moment alone with her. She asked each Bella if they had seen Beca.

"I think she's in the kitchen," Jessica told her.

"Thanks, Jess," Chloe said and headed for the kitchen.

Chloe walked in to find Beca putting cookies and some finger food on trays.

"Need some help?" Chloe asked, reaching for a meringue cookie from a nearby tray.

"No thanks," Beca said. "I'm almost done. Are you enjoying yourself?"

Chloe smiled and wrapped her arms around Beca from behind.

"Yes, I am," Chloe said, kissing the side of Beca's head. "I don't know how to express how much I appreciate everything you did to make this the perfect Christmas."

"I love you, Chloe," Beca said, placing her hands over Chloe's and leaning back into her. "And I wanted to show you what Christmas could be like with people you loved and who love you."

"Mission accomplished," Chloe said, turning Beca to face her and kissing her.

"Meringue cookies!" Fat Amy yelled, causing Beca and Chloe to jump apart, thus ending the kiss. "Mmmm, these are so good. Where did you get them? They taste just like the ones Stacie always made."

"I made them from Stacie's recipe," Beca said.

"Stacie gave you her secret recipe?" Fat Amy asked. "Stacie Conrad, you bitch! Where are you?"

Fat Amy stomped out of the kitchen, yelling for Stacie.

"We should stop her," Chloe said.

"I think Stacie can take her," Beca said, pulling Chloe closer to her. "Especially since she'll have Aubrey on her side."

"You're right, she'll be fine," Chloe said as she smashed their lips together again.

~~ 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2022 ~~

Later that night, after the Bellas were safely on their way to the hotel, Chloe couldn't stop smiling. She looked around the living room; her gaze fell upon Beca, who was talking to Aubrey and Stacie. Chloe was throwing heart eyes at Beca that could have been seen from space.

Beca looked over at Chloe and smiled. She walked over and sat next to her.

"So, how are you doing?" Beca asked. "Was today everything you hoped it would be?"

"It was more than I could have dreamed of," Chloe said, putting her arm around Beca's shoulder and pulling her into a kiss.

"Do you two ever stop?" Stacie asked, smiling at the couple.

Chloe pulled back enough to say, "No," before reclaiming Beca's lips.

"I'm going to bed," Stacie said as Beca pulled back from Chloe. "Thanks again for everything today, Beca. And for letting me and Brey crash here for the rest of our visit."

"You're welcome," Beca said. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Stacie," Chloe said as Stace leaned down to hug her and Beca.

"Goodnight, Chlo," Stacie said and went upstairs.

"Are you ready for bed?" Beca asked Chloe.

"You go on up," Chloe said. "I'll be up in a minute."

"Everything okay?" Beca asked.

"More than okay," Chloe said, smiling. "I just have to get a present I want to give you."

"And you can't give it to me here?" Beca asked.

"I'd prefer to give it to you upstairs," Chloe said.

"Oh, okay," Beca said, standing. "I'll see you upstairs."

Chloe smiled as she watched Beca head upstairs. As soon as Beca was out of sight, she jumped up and grabbed a big ribbon that had been discarded on the floor. She then raced upstairs, stopping outside Beca's bedroom.

Chloe adjusted the bow and knocked softly on the door.

"Come on in, Chloe," Beca's voice came through the door.

Chloe softly giggled and stayed where she was. She could hear Beca mumbling as she walked to the door. Beca pulled the door open and laughed when she saw Chloe standing there with a big red bow sitting atop her head.

Chloe struck a pose, saying, "Ready to unwrap your final gift?'

Beca grabbed Chloe's arm and pulled her inside the room.

Down the hall, Stacie smiled as she heard Chloe and Beca giggling.

"Merry Christmas, BeChloe," she whispered before snuggling into Aubrey's side.

[splendidissimus]

January 2002 - Repressed Memory

((Content warning: mental manipulation, mind invasion (mentioned), false / repressed / erased memories, loss of autonomy))

((Promptspiration: @whumptober-archive 2023: day 29: I only sink deeper, the deeper I think / Troubled past resurfacing / "What happened to me?" ))

Genre: whump

Romance level: minor

Angst level: 4/5

Draco's headspace: anger / fear -> vicious -> fatalistic

((words: ~2800))

------------------------------------

Theo was watching Draco more closely than he normally had to; it had been clear to him for a while that something was weighing on him, but he was trusting in Draco to mention it if he needed to. He didn't want to talk about it, and he seemed to be handling it well enough, though mostly by throwing himself into work; he hadn't even been home in four or five days. It wasn't impairing his ability to function, so Theo didn't push, but he was there if he needed him, and he watched. 

Watching so closely was how he was able, when he followed Draco through the floo, to catch the end of the subtle motion of him pulling his sleeve down to hide the flashing alarm of his heart monitor. "Draco?" He touched his back.

"Hm?" Draco looked back and up at him, casual, hiding that there was anything to acknowledge.

"What is it?" 

"There's nothing." 

He caught Draco's hand before he could pull away and pushed back his sleeve. The alarm was still flickering in reflection of his dangerously fast heartbeat. "Whatever this has been, it isn't getting better. Let me help." 

Draco looked away and pushed his sleeve back down. "It's fine. I know it's in my head." 

"Has it been getting worse?" The way Draco didn't answer or look at him confirmed it. "Tell me." 

Draco glanced at him, eyes slightly narrowed, but he had made a promise to answer that phrase, and he kept it. His eyes flicked around the room. "I've been having the same dream for… months. It's getting more detailed, and I've started having… flashes… of it, while I'm awake, especially in this room." He ran his hand through his hair and gripped the back of his neck, briefly. Then he shook his hand out and he appeared composed again. "But as I said, I can handle it." 

May as well get out of that room, then. Theo led the way from the drawing room with a hand on Draco's back. "What is it?"

"It's Death Eaters… It doesn't matter. It's just that it keeps coming back." He took out his potion bag as they walked. "I think I'll go to sleep until dinnertime tomorrow," he said, and took out a Dreamless Sleep potion, holding it to the light to gauge how many hours it would last for. 

—

"You're wanted downstairs."

Theo wasn't used to being addressed by the portraits, especially with such purpose, and he had to blink up at it to be sure it was actually talking to him. It was the Elizabethan Malfoy portrait that Draco called his father's spy, now sharing a frame with an old woman that Theo had never bothered to ask the identity of, and that made sense. It was also looking impatient with him for delaying. 

"Right. His office?"

"The master study, yes." 

When he made his way to Lucius' office — sorry, study — both of Draco's parents were there, him sitting at the desk and her beside it facing her husband, looking very much like he was walking in on a serious conversation, and the way they both looked over at him was decidedly uncomfortable. 

"You've no practical experience with Memory Charms, have you?" Lucius said with no preamble. 

"No…"

"Might I suggest you acquire it. In the meantime," he pushed a business card across the desk, "arrange a pretext for him to visit her." He looked at the name on the card, and then glanced back up for an explanation. "An Obliviator of particular discretion." 

He glanced at the portrait behind Lucius' desk, now observing; he didn't have to ask how Draco's father knew anything, no doubt it had been eavesdropping when they came home. Obviously his parents knew something Draco didn't, something that troubled them. "Then you're saying he's not dreaming?" 

"I'm saying that if you mean to help him, this is what you'll do." 

The door swung open and hit the wall solidly. Draco was wearing a narrow expression of fury that made him look sharp. "No — answer the question, Father." 

"Draco—"

"Because it didn't." His voice had started low and clipped, but as he came closer it got higher, as anger gave way to something less controlled. His hands clenched in tight white balls. "That never happened!"

"You're right!" Lucius had to raise his voice to get through to him over his own yelling. "It isn't a real memory."

"Then what is it?" he demanded. "What do you know? Why do I keep thinking of… of…"

His parents exchanged a look that would have been subtle outside this house but was a yell to people accustomed to speaking their language. "Just get rid of it," his mother said. "Don't worry about it."

"No! Tell me! Tell me what happened to me!" 

"The Dark Lord did it," Lucius said flatly. "Gave you a memory that never happened. Punishment for your failures, and your… proclivities." 

"No…" He took a step backward, pulling away. "He can't — he couldn't —"

"He took amusement in giving his victims such visions they would wish they were dead, at times. When he wanted to truly make them suffer before he killed them. Or, occasionally, in lieu of killing them, when he could still use them."

Draco gripped the back of his neck so tightly his fingernails were going to draw blood. "When? I don't— I would know…"

"The first night."

"No. No, I passed out when you were Crucioing me, and that's it." 

"No," Theo said quietly. "I've seen that memory… that's not what happened. Voldemort did do something, and you started… you had a bad reaction."

Draco's eyes jerked from Theo back to his parents, flicking between them before focusing on his father. "And so you Obliviated me? You just decided to take my memories? What right—"

His mother interrupted. "I did."

If they thought that would temper his anger, that he couldn't be angry with his mother, they badly miscalculated. "Of course it was you!" he exploded. "Who else could it be? Who else thinks that my mind is their plaything besides you and Lord Voldemort? Now getting rid of my inconvenient emotions wasn't good enough. Why even stop at memories? Why not just root around and pull things out until you actually fix me? Maybe you can even make me like women and not have to deal with a fucking fairy—"

"Don't speak to your mother that way," Lucius ordered him. She was bearing Draco's outburst stoically, but she had crossed her arms. "The Dark Lord—"

"Stop calling him that, you sycophant, there's no one here to impress." 

Lucius' eyes narrowed. "Voldemort left little option. You couldn't keep that. No one had any way of knowing you would be this fragile." 

He was trying to reason with Draco; that was the wrong tactic. There was no point trying use logic with him when he was in full attack mode — he wasn't interested in the truth or working anything out, he was just lashing out to hurt people as deeply as possible. Anything they said would just be turned into more ammunition for him to turn back on them. 

"What else did you take?" Draco demanded. "How much more?"

"Nothing," his mother said firmly.

"I don't believe you." He looked like he was realising this as he said it, and he backed away. "But I'll never know, will I?" The cuff on his wrist started flashing.

Theo stepped forward, arm out between them to try to steer him back. "Draco, you need to calm down," he started. He didn't get to go any further; Draco raised his hand and clenched it without even really looking at him, and then he had the disturbing sensation of his mouth being fused together, pressing his tongue flat as his teeth disappeared and he had no lips to open. He backed off, groping at it and fumbling for his wand. 

"You can't just do this to me!" Draco screamed at his parents. "Stay out of my mind! It's broken and it's shitty but it's mine and you don't get to touch it! I'm not an extension of you for you to pose like a doll and dress up like you like. If that's what you want, go have another kid, if you think between you you can scrape together enough emotion for another human being — maybe you can raise them right this time, and you can have what you always wanted, and leave me alone!"

And then he was gone, slamming the door behind him, with his magic instead of his hands. The silence felt deafening. Draco was a storm, at times, sweeping through, overwhelming, irresistible, leaving destruction in his wake when he moved on. It was awesome to behold, but being caught in it left you miserable and disoriented. Theo was relieved to have only been hit by the edge of the blast directed at his parents. That was exhausting enough.

Theo finally ended Draco's curse on him in the calm after he'd left, watching the door, and thoughtfully put his wand away. 

"A while ago, I actually suggested modifying his memory to get rid of his dreams," he said. "To make it easier. He made a pretty convincing argument that it would drive him mad if he knew he couldn't trust his mind."

His parents didn't respond. His mother turned her back to the door and stared into the fire. It was quiet for a minute.

"The solution seems pretty clear," the portrait noted. "Have the old memory removed, and the memory of this. Perhaps try to do it better this time." 

"Not helpful," Lucius said, tone annoyed. The portrait sniffed. 

In another minute, Theo silently left the room to see if he could find him.

—

It took Theo some time to find Draco, because the last place he would have expected to find him was the drawing room, the scene of whatever false memory had been haunting his dreams. He only found him there when he had come to the conclusion that Draco had left and was on his way to follow him.

"Draco." He couldn't help the tinge of relief in his voice. Draco hadn't even taken his favourite chair, he was just sitting in the middle of a sofa with his elbows resting on his knees. 

He came to put his hand on Draco's shoulder, but Draco reached up to knock his hand away before he could touch him. "I'm fine," Draco said, and spread his hands to show how he wasn't crying, or sick, or caught deep down in his thoughts, or exploding with rage. "You can go report to your masters that I'm not tearing down the house around their ears." 

"I didn't come for them." He sat down beside him, but didn't touch. "I work for you, remember?"

"Sure." He clasped his hands between his knees again. 

Theo studied the firelight flickering over his distant expression. "Are you actually okay?"

"If I say 'no', what are you going to do? Cheering Charm to make me be happy? Numbing Hex so I don't care? Sleeping Charm so I'll sleep it off? Obliviate away the memory of tonight?" 

"Just talking," Theo said patiently. 

Draco looked distantly into the fire. "Now I know my mother has done every one of those things, and probably more that she didn't think I needed to be aware of."

"Cheering Charm? That doesn't really sound like her." 

"I was a happy kid, but not always. I guess when I was little that was the easiest way to deal with it when I got sulky." He gripped his hands tighter. "But at least that was temporary. This is an irreversible change."

He kneaded his hands together, hard, absently pressing his thumb along the bones of his hand like he was going to force them out. 

"I can't trust them ever again," he said distantly. "Even if I want to, I can't. How could I?"

"They were helping. You might not like what they did, but you know why they did it." 

"That's right," Draco said acidly. "I guess that proves I can trust them, all of you, to do one thing: whatever you think is best, whether that means you're doing something for me or about me or to me. And what I want doesn't matter." 

"Why are you including me in that? Are you saying you can't trust me, either?"

"Don't pretend like you weren't going to do what he said."

"Seeing this…" He searched Draco's drawn face. "Yeah, I'd have thought about it, at least. Is it doing you any good to remember? Because it looks like it's just hurting you." 

"It's not remembering that's hurting me. I think I could have dealt with that memory… It's so far beyond awful, I want to be sick, but I think I could have handled it, eventually. Especially knowing it wasn't real." He bowed his head over his knees and gripped the back of it with both hands. "It's… Now, every dream I have, I have to wonder, is that another torture memory he forced into my head? Or even something that really happened that they tried to erase? Every memory I can't get out of my head, I have to wonder if it happened, or did he put it there? How much of what I know is real? Everything that happened… is that really how it went? After what I think is the end, is there more I was made to forget? Did I do things I don't know, that were erased 'for my own good'?"

Theo could see how Draco's quick mind was working against him. The moment he was introduced to the first problem, that his dream was a memory, his mind immediately jumped ahead to find the second and third layers of the problem without pausing to process any of it. He didn't have time to come to terms with one thing at a time; it all piled on him at once. 

"Has this started coming back before?" Draco wondered blankly toward his knees. "And they got me Obliviated before I could remember completely? …Have I learned this before and they had that memory erased, too?" 

"I really don't think so."

"But that's the point, isn't it? You don't actually know. And neither do I. I never can. For the rest of my life, I'll never know…" 

Theo set his hand on Draco's back, and Draco let him this time. He rubbed his back slowly, but Draco wasn't tense; he was loose, defeated, almost limp. 

"I don't know what to do," Draco admitted quietly. 

"I think the first thing is really just to sleep. This might seem less overwhelming if you get some decent rest, and you can think about it better in the morning." If he'd just gone to sleep when he'd said he was going to, he wouldn't have noticed Theo coming downstairs, he wouldn't have followed, he wouldn't have heard any of this… He wouldn't be having to deal with this. If only he'd done that, if only Theo had checked that he'd done it, this could all have been avoided.

Draco didn't answer for a moment. "Not here," he finally said, dully. "Everything here is memories. I'll go back to my office." 

"Or to my house."

Draco thought about it, then nodded. Theo felt a tiny knot in his chest unclench; what that meant was that, no matter what he said, Draco did still trust him. 

"Can I come with you?"

"Do whatever you want… it's not like I could stop you." 

"Tell  me 'no' and I won't," he said patiently. 

"You don't get how that's not the same." Draco pushed himself to his feet. "Yes. You can come."

"All right. Go ahead, I have to get something." 

"Tell my parents, you mean?" Draco said. "Don't bother." He pointed over and up the wall without looking, and only then did Theo see the Elizabethan portrait sharing a frame with a witch on a horse. 

"No, I really do have to get my stuff, but I'll be right behind you."

Draco nodded without answering and through floo powder into the fire to take him to Theo's house. 

Theo sat back with a sigh, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully. "I'll try to bring him back tomorrow," he said in a minute to the portrait, since now he didn't have to actually find Draco's parents now. "If he's not okay, I'll let you know." 

Then he went upstairs to get his books and join Draco.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Relativistic spectra

SUMMARY: A long night of creative thinking, and another long night of that creative thinking's consequences. Also, an older guy's classroom presentation on relativistic physics.

Jonathan: I hope you don't mind that I left you here, although I know you're used to being on your own.

Principal Yeats: Of course I don't.

Jonathan: But I figured you might be more . . . useful for me if I left you to yourself.

Principal Yeats: It's all part of the test.

Jonathan: Yes, but I still left you here. I know you're alone, and it's dark, and it's scary.

Principal Yeats: It's all part of the test.

Jonathan: No. I know that. I'm sorry I've left you here. I shouldn't have, and I'm going to take you home right now.

Principal Yeats: Where is home?

Jonathan: Prince Island, where I go when I'm really depressed and I need to be alone, because I can't stand the people around me.

Principal Yeats: For what reason?

Jonathan: Too many reasons.

Principal Yeats: The test would not be over if I told you about them.

Jonathan: No, but I want to know.

Principal Yeats: No.

Jonathan: Please.

Principal Yeats: First I will have you tell me your name. That is the first rule of the test.

Jonathan: Almost Nowhere, Book 4, Chapter 5

----------

Jonathan has been in this room now for several hours, and it is almost 3:30 AM. He's made progress on some things, but still has more to think about.

He sits on the floor, munching an apple. He's sitting on the floor, instead of the nearby chair, because he hopes the motion will help his thinking. Or, well, might not help. But might not hurt. Doesn't hurt, sitting on the floor. But sitting on the floor. Might as well help. That's the thinking part of his mind. The math part has run through some good long series of calculations, and comes up with odd results. But odd results are a sign you're in the right ballpark. All the values he computed were mostly big, which is a sign this might be right.

Jonathan is happy, though. When he thinks about it, he's happy to be working on this. But he's trying to avoid the idea too much, for his own sake.

He's working with big numbers. Not unprecedentedly big, but certainly not small. The number of active nodes on his computer looks like one of the smallest ones he's seen, and he's had lots of small ones. Still, to get this result he's had to go through many, many times more work than he would have done ten years ago. He hopes it's OK. He hopes his computer won't explode. That would be a bad ending for his theory. "His theory" -- he wants to believe it's his own.

He was pretty sure, the day before, that this idea was going to be part of a big, important discovery. That was a weird thing, to feel so confident about things that he'd only just thought up. But, well, confidence is one of the things that gets you through a hard day.

He's had hard days, and long hours of thinking, his whole life. When he was 9, he would be so done with school he'd just go back home and watch TV, and he'd get really into every show. They were things. Things that had nothing to do with classwork.

It was his mom, and his dad, who finally got him to do his homework.

"Mom and Dad," he was about to explain. "You see, they were like a chess computer. They thought about the problems and they would suggest something. And then I'd figure out the new problem, and then I'd check their answer against mine."

Jonathan would get the right answers, and they'd celebrate, and they'd watch TV. When the answers were different, he'd have to think again.

The TV was always a ghost story. And after they'd watched the ghost story, he'd have to be extra careful. Everything looked different in a new light, when you understood some new stuff about the world. You had to know.

He was still getting the right answers. It was just they were now answers in a new world, in which he'd discovered new things. Mom and Dad wanted him to be sure.

It's nice, he thinks, to have real problems. And not just the problems of some imaginary world.

We are in our own world. I am writing this, and you are reading it. What does that mean? What does it mean? We might not know. If we did, we would be gods.

Almost Nowhere, Chapter 5 Interlude

--------

Jonathan is on a narrow path through a hall of small doors. Behind each door, a person asks a question. All the questions are questions he has asked himself many times, but which he has never actually asked anyone.

Someone: So what does it mean, your theory?

Jonathan: It's a quantum mechanics theory of multi-dimensional spacetime. A mathematical construction, with some observational consequences.

Someone: And what are those consequences?

Jonathan: That I don't know. Because I don't know my theory. I haven't worked out the observational consequences.

Someone: Is your theory true?

Jonathan: Right now, the best answer I have is: I think it is true.

Someone: And why do you think it is true?

Jonathan: Okay. Let me be honest. I think it is likely to be true. I have evidence that it should be true. So I am going to try to make it true. And then I will think of more evidence, to make it more likely.

---------------

There is a door behind him. It says: X.

He opens it. A woman in a shapeless grey dress stands in a gray, featureless room, holding a large bowl of cereal. She says nothing.

Jonathan knows this woman. He knows her name. He isn't sure what her name is, but he knows her.

"What," he asks, "is your name?"

The woman gives no answer. After some minutes, he asks again,

"What is your name?"

The woman does not reply. She is silent. She might be enjoying this, he thinks.

Jonathan stands, and ponders the bowl of cereal. He looks around the room. There is a small purple splotch on the wall, far away. Why is it there? Why is this room so dark?

"I know your name," he says.

The woman says nothing.

"Wait. Your name is X. Right? Your name is X."

The woman still says nothing.

Jonathan thinks, Why is she silent? She knows I know her name!

He doesn't know why, but this offends him.

He keeps thinking, trying to figure out the meaning of the bowl of cereal. "Bowl of cereal," he says. "What does that mean? What does it mean, what is it for?"

"I'm an artist!" the woman says.

Jonathan laughs. He thinks the woman is making fun of him. But the woman just laughs, too. He knows that, in real life, this woman will laugh at him more and more, over and over again.

He sits down. He thinks, It's wrong, what I'm doing. What I'm doing is wrong, I know it.

He knows what he's doing is wrong. Of course it's wrong. You can't talk to people like this. He knows he knows the woman's name, but he doesn't know what that means. Why?

"I'm tired," he says.

He doesn't know the woman's name, but he knows her name is

[hmsharmony]

I was tagged in a first-lines-of-fic meme by my darling @moonatoms.

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten however many people you like. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway!

Tagging: @lissomelle (no this is not an attempt to get your juices flowing because you were brainstorming Shadow & Bone fic what are you taking about), @hondagirll, @seek--rest, @abc2411, and anyone else because it’s 1 am and my brain is no longer working.

1. someone out there who can bring me back to you (Spider-Man (MCU) Peter/MJ Adam Project AU)

“MJ, are you sure about this?”

MJ gestures to be quiet as she and Ned make their way through the silent facility. Ned’s already hacked into the system to shut off the security cameras and alarms, but the last thing they need is to alert any guards. She tightens her grip on her backpack.

2. scars are souvenirs we never lose (Spider-Man (MCU) Peter/MJ, Michelle-centric post-NWH fic)

Michelle is pretty sure she spent the first few hours of Saturday hanging out on Liberty Island with her best friend and a wizard.

Yes, she knows how that sounds. No, she doesn’t know why they were there. It gets particularly confusing when she remembers there was some kind of showdown between Spider-Man and a lizard and a sand storm, and maybe a guy on a hoverboard? Anyway, the point is, she and Ned spent their night hanging out at what she’s pretty sure is now a crime scene, and she has no idea how they ended up there.

3. Speak Aloud What Until Now I've Only Sung (Austin & Ally, Austin/Ally through the years)

They are 18 and prom is just around the corner. He wants to ask her to what is supposed to be the greatest night of their high school lives, but he takes just a bit too long working up the nerve, and when he finally approaches her and tries to nonchalantly suggest that they go together she already has a date.

With Dallas.

Of course.

Fate would decide to screw with him like that.

4. Make a Move (‘Cause I’m Ready) Austin & Ally, Austin/Ally post-Mix-Ups & Mistletoe

Early on the day after Christmas, Trish barges into Sonic Boom and demands, "So are you going to tell me about that almost kiss under the mistletoe or what?"

Ally is still exhausted from yesterday and is all but on autopilot, and before she can stop herself she replies, "Which one?"

5. Fragment of Light (Merlin; Arthur-Gwen 4x09 spec fic)

“They want your head, Guinevere.” Gwen remains silent, her gaze trained to the side. “What am I supposed to do now?” This catches her attention, and she finally looks at him. Disbelief flickers across her face.

6. There’s So Much More Than Me and You (Merlin; Arthur/Gwen 3x10 spec fic)

“Guinevere.”

Gwen glanced up from her place on the dungeon floor. “Arthur,” she breathed. She stared at him for a moment, just making out the outline of him through the bars of the prison door.

6. Burnt Chicken Never Won Fair Lady (Merlin; Arthur/Gwen slightly cracky modern au)

As a rule, Gwen avoided the habit of eavesdropping, preferring not to run the risk of hearing only bits and pieces of a conversation and either agonizing over what had actually been said or leaving the room with a completely false understanding of the discussion. Yet when Morgana started snickering uncontrollably, her magazine shaking up and down, Gwen couldn’t help but look up from her book and follow her friend’s gaze to the two young men standing on the other side of Morgana’s elegantly decorated living room.

7. A Handful of Sand (Merlin; Arthur/Gwen, arranged marriage s3 spec)

Camelot is falling apart.

As much as Gwen tried to quiet this thought, every day it seemed to grow stronger. The dragon attack months ago was only the first of many tragedies to befall the kingdom, and now the people were cursed with a king who, for all intents and purposes, had gone mad.

8. Multa Paucis (Merlin; Arthur/Gwen, Gwen-centric missing scenes from s2 finale)

“They’ve left, Gwen – both of them.”

“Oh.” It’s the only word that manages to escape her lips, the only word she trusts herself to utter without revealing that the world is turning on its head, that she is lost and unsure and …

Scared.

9. A Pirate’s Life (is not For Spoiled Princes) (Merlin; Arthur, Gwen, and Morgana in a pre-Merlin Camelot)

The morning before Gwen’s first day as a handmaiden her father had warned her that her lady’s word was law. “No matter what happens, obey the king’s ward,” her father had said before seeing her off. Gwen understood the logic behind this advice, but she wondered if her father would’ve instructed her otherwise had he been better acquainted with the Lady Morgana. Indeed, Gwen couldn’t imagine that he’d be particularly thrilled if he discovered how his daughter was currently aiding her lady in a pirate attack on the crown prince of Camelot.

10. We Are Just Breakable Girls and Boys (Merlin; Arthur/Gwen shortly after Morgana’s disappearance)

He finds her in Morgana’s chambers. Her back is to him – her face looking out the window – and her arms are wrapped around her body as if she’s protecting herself from the cold. He hasn’t said a word, but somehow she knows he’s there, for she soon says in a hoarse voice, “I didn’t believe him.”

[lemonhemlock]

i know i've converted my blog into asoiaf meta for the most part, but now that the champions league is back and madrid are set to face liverpool again next week, i remembered this article and just... with all this talk of meta-narratives and arcs and symbolism... can you feel nostalgic for something that happened just last year??? this is going to be super indulgent but i am most definitely feeling thoughts & thinking feelings right now !!!

so for anyone who has no idea what i'm talking about, how about i introduce you to a tale of uncanny resilience in the face of the impossible? not just of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, but of the over-praised, overachiever, drenched in privilege and exposure, that the rest of the world learns to despise, bc they become sick and tired of their (supposedly manufactured) success? what happens when you're the villain in everyone else's story and the world is rooting against you anyway but you also just kind of stop performing for whatever reason?

do you just lay down and take it? accept that your luck has run its course and endure the critiques and the slander with gritted teeth?? once you reach that level of transcendence, is there truly any going back? are you even of this earth anymore?

so that is how madrid dragged itself through the champions league in the 2021-2022 season. the undisputed queen of europe, with an unequaled (then-) 13 titles under her belt, the team that had achieved the impossible feat of winning 4 titles in 5 years, now became the team that everyone wrote off. cursed with the most onerous bracket in the history of the knock-off stages, doomed (blessed??) to face-off the most nefarious avatars of modern footballing culture - first paris saint germain, a PR-sanitizing tool for the crimes of the qatari political elite, then chelsea, a team owned by a russian oligarch with a similar function - also the acting champions of europe, to boot.

four difficult matches that no one expected madrid to survive and nearly took us out so many times. until they didn't. until we opened our eyes each time after the final whistle and there we were, still standing. and there they were, gone, vanquished. a nightmare you wake up from, disoriented, asking for the date, time, place, context. what year is this. is it safe to come out? is this real? have we done it again? what are the odds to us, other than mere suggestions, foolish calculations that only heretics give credence to?

Against PSG they had come down from 1-0 down, 2-0 on aggregate to win 3-2, gifted a way back and scoring twice in a minute, three in quarter of an hour. Against Chelsea they had gone from 3-0 down on the night, 4-3 down on aggregate, with 10 minutes left to win 5-4 on aggregate. It had been extraordinary that they were even standing, but this is the team you have to kill a hundred times. If not, know that they’re coming for you.

the whole world knows that you never, absolutely, under no circumstances, let madrid worm their way into the final, because that's as good as surrendering the title to them and calling it a day. as surely as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. if divine intervention is needed, it will come. inexorably. real madrid are god's team, baby.

so the world throws the hardest hurdle at us for the semi-final. the greatest obstacle. the best chance at making us fail. pep guardiola's manchester city. another such propaganda toy, this time for the UAE, a soulless, plastic club. the embodiment of manufactured apathy. but who's counting. the first leg ends 4-3 for them. the goals didn't stop coming, so i remember asking myself why were they both dressed in blue. light for man city, dark for madrid. what a peculiar choice. what a peculiar year.

In Manchester Real Madrid faced 16 shots. They were beaten 4-3, but celebrated that almost as a victory given how overrun they had been, aware that the difference could have been far greater; rarely can City have felt more like they had lost a game that they had won.

but it is in the second leg that they remembered who they were. we had just forgotten, you see!! a momentary lapse of judgement. it is just before the finish line when you muster up that last ounce of strength and command your feet to press you forward. undaunted visionaries violently upturning any kind of logic or common sense! what was supposed to happen candidly did not happen. it's that easy. it's that simple. flippantly refusing to capitulate!!! our white flags don't mean the same thing as everyone else's! how silly they were to think... !

There were 39 seconds left and Real Madrid needed to score twice or they were out, halted at the gates of the final, their luck running out at last. Eighty-eight seconds later they had done, collective madness taking everyone. Somehow, they had forced extra time; soon, they had the winner, which by then you knew they would. Look in the top corner of your screen. It had shown 89:20 RMA 0 – 1 MCI (3-5). Look again and it showed: 94.13 RMA 3 – 1 MCI (6-5). And it had taken a few seconds to update the score.

delusion that becomes truth itself??? because you make it so???? sometimes seeing truly is NOT believing, you need to re-make reality in your image and according to your own hallucinations of grandeur!! sometimes you are pygmallion and that scoreboard is your galatea goddamn it. you're not lying to yourself, you're prophesizing what you will create out of this world!

The champions of France, Europe and England all eliminated at the Bernabéu.

What happened was the most ridiculous resurrection of them all: even more implausible, the margins finer, the race against the clock more frantic, like they were watching that video back again only on fast-forward, everything flashing by.

There was something mystical at play; some fate, some force that means that the more you fight it, the more inevitable it becomes.

liverpool surely hate our guts. two lost UCL finals against us, the first fraught with enough controversy to last a generation. i don't know what's going to happen next week. we might as well lose & forfeit this season. but, even so, we'll always have something other teams don't. that bright, celestial belief in our strength and our resolve, that vision that only we can see and deliver forth, even in the face of the absurd, of the hopeless.

and i think that there's inspiration in that. i think it's a neat reminder that we have so many stories of our own to tell and there's a power we wield in fleshing them into existence.

The players knew: they had seen the video that proves it.

so go forth and be brilliant!! bring around your own remontada!

“We’ve come back, we’ve come back!” he shouted, leaping about celebrating. There’s something about that “we” that stuck in the throat. He wasn’t alone, some fans turning and trying to get back in. Had they learned nothing? Do they not know this team they support? Of course you have come back, you fool.

[dankusner]

Milestones is a one-of-a-kind holistic and specialized residential trauma treatment experience. Serving individuals adversely affected by symptoms of unaddressed trauma, including anxiety, depression, codependency, and PTSD, this innovative and integrative program offers a variable-length of stay from 30 to 90 days specific to individual needs. A sanctuary for healing. Providing the holistic care you deserve. Mental Health Care | Cumberland Furnace, TN

"Milestones"

I crawled through the forest of Tennessee / All on my hands and knees

Not seeing the wood for the trees / Till I got to Los Angeles

First thing that I learned at the juncture / Evil is not my true nature

So even though you drove me to terror / I don't have to be that her I don't have to be that she / This is where I get to be me

This is where you don't get to make me / This is where you don't get to create me

I slept outside in the dog shed / Because you wouldn't let me keep my iPad

I've had less rights as a woman / Then the dog is my eternal form

And it remains the same / Yes it remains the same Let's start with the name / You can shove it where you keep all your pain

I drove through the graveyards of Dixon / Of which there are still black and white ones

What a thing to happen in the nation / Even in death, segregation

One day we'll sit with our maker / Discuss over biscuits and soda

Which one of you and me was braver / Which one of us was a true soldier?

With his ten working principles for a healthy society, Dr. Phil provides the tools for mainstream America to fight back against the forces of division with sensible and urgently needed advice supported by the latest social, medical, and psychological findings.

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Do you think mainstream America needs to find its voice? If so, you’re not alone. The country is under attack by extremists at the fringes who put ideology before sanity and stoke division for their own gain. They are trying to rob America of its common sense and deny empirical truths, and we’re all suffering the consequences.

In We’ve Got Issues: How You Can Stand Strong for America’s Soul and Sanity, Dr. Phil employs his signature no-nonsense approach to analyze America’s cultural crisis and offers practical, empirically based, action-oriented strategies to restore and support our country’s collective mental health.

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Dr. Phil demystifies the “tyranny of the fringe” and deconstructs their assault on the principles that made our nation prosperous, free, and powerful. With the hard-earned wisdom of years spent working with Americans of all backgrounds, Dr. Phil charts a course from cancel culture to counsel culture, from fear to acceptance, from victimhood to community, and from the tyranny of the fringe to a more civil society where we heal our divides and every one of us decides to be who we are on purpose. Dr. Phil is here to show us how.

"I meet the psychiatrist at the trunk of his car as I’m stomping back from the garden toward my room. He offers me a fig bar. What the fuck does a rocker want a fig bar for? Is he crazier than me? I tell him, “No thank you, fig bars are for hippies.”

[diaryofatiredmom]

Tired #3

I'll tell you something more recent.

But first a little theory.

Babies until they are like 2-3 months don't know day and night. They sleep anywhere, anytime... as long as they have the right amount of tired. You see, they don't have the same concept of sleep because I'm tired. They sleep because of sleep pressure. This is something that builds during the day. They have awake moments of 30-90 minutes and can sleep for up to 2-3 hours at a time.

My recent tiredness comes from my mom's opinion that baby should know something other than sleep, diaper change, feed, repeat. (Baby has a small window when can be entertained - i suppose it's a bit too short for my mom's liking).

This was something that i overheard her say yesterday.

So today, I've mostly let the baby with her - apart for the breastfeeding times.

It went great. She and dad got to play with baby and coo and smile at her. They fit in her wake time, but then it was time for sleep.

Drum rolls, please. Bed time came and went, as baby didn't want to go to sleep.

I would rock her, feed her ("What? Are you feeding her again? Didn't you just feed her?") and mostly offer her environment for sleep.

Still she was wide awake.

Dad took over. Despite telling him not to stimulate/ entertain her, he talked loudly and kept bringing her in lighted rooms (in the end he understood).

Next baby started crying. Mom took over. Baby went from mom to dad with no success. I mean she did coo and "spoke" to them, much to their delight, but nothing more.

Mom suggested she needs to eat. Tried to feed her but she would just scream.

At this point i was frustrated.

If only they would have listened to me...

After we ate, another session of rocking started. Me, then mom, then hubby, then mom again, then dad.

In the end, dad suggested he just rub the baby's belly (it hurt). Mom followed dad into another room.

I've left them for 5 minutes. Baby would cry, then stop, then cry again.

Aftwr 5 minutes, I've had enough. It's my baby and I'll comfort her.

Started rocking her again and keeping her close. She would cry and throw her little fists at me. Still i didn't budge.

In the end she understood that I'm there to help her and so she started falling asleep.

[rohitgurumith]

REFLECTIONS ON MY LEARNING

The Practice 1 Module and Semester A will be coming to an end in a few days and i just want to take a step back to reflect on my learning and my progress as an animator in these past few months.

I made alot of mistakes, but i also managed to learn from those mistakes and came back stronger and Its safe to say that i've definitely improved in terms of both knowledge and technical skillsets. I will be listing all the new things i learnt in all the 5 briefs and the 2 developed projects this semester,and share how this module changed my way of working overall.

BRIEF 1 : RED VS BLUE -

I still remember this week very clearly because it was my first week into the course and i was very confused on how to approach things. I also never had the habit of storyboarding, concept art and taking references until when i had to work on my portfolio for applying to the course. I would usually dive right into working when it came to my previous projects.

So i was still fairly new to all that and i only had a week and a half to complete the storyboards,concept designs and the animatic. another problem i had was the fact that i couldnt think of a simple concept for the brief. i just kept thinking about complex storylines that were impossible to fit in just 30 seconds. so when alex asked me to redo the whole thing from scratch with a new concept, i was terrified since i only had 3 more days until the submission date.

This is where the fearless hardworker in me started grinding and i got the job done in 3 days with a simple yet efficient animatic with good storyboard, concept art and fairly decent designs compared to the previous one. i was appreciated by the class and alex for picking myself back up so quickly.

I studied animal head movements and looked at some reference material for the wings of the chickens so i can judge how they would move from a certain angle. i also studied the facial expressions of animals in cartoons which was also pretty helpful.

BRIEF 2 : PLACES OF THE MIND -

For this brief, i once again intended to keep the concept very simple but complex at the same time. what i meant by that was the fact that the thought process and coming up with the idea would be simple (since i based it off of my real life experiences and how my mind works sometimes) and the workflow would be complex (2D character with 3D backgrounds, dynamic camera movements and animating 3D objects)

I got some 3D models to help me find some key poses, saving me alot of time. I also looked at and refered to several street layouts until i found the right one. I would say that i learnt to brush up the timing skills since this animatic and the movements of the character were highly dependent on the beat of the soundtrack used.

BRIEF 3 : MEMORY AND NOSTALGIA -

For this brief, Alex advised me not to use any manga styled characters and he wanted me to find my own style of character designing. So i did my research on different styles of character designing and did alot of rough sketching until i found the right one. though the animatic and concept itself didnt achieve what it was intended to, i still got appreciation for trying something new with my character design

BRIEF 4 : OPTICAL SOUND -

For this brief i only had 24 hours to do everything since i was preoccupied and not in a good place mentally during that week due to a family emergency.

My roommate was talking about cleaning our room soon and that sparked the idea in my head. i looked around my room, quickly modelled it in 3D to get the perspectives right and made a simple animatic of someone cleaning thier room when listening to music. that was the simplest concept i could think of and get done within 24 hours. i ended up completing everything on time and the class absolutely loved it to the point where they suggested me to develop it further.

BRIEF 5 : LIGHT AND SHADOW -

For this brief i wanted to use a "Tom and Jerry" (Hanna,Barbera,1980) type concept where a mouse tries to steal a snack and get away with it.

I had to study the positioning of shadows according to different sources and angles of light since this took place in a dark room. I also looked at alot of dark room references so it would help me find the one that fits my environment and lighting placement.

RED VS BLUE : DEVELOPMENT -

I wanted this to have a studio ghibli artstyle but also wanted it to have detailed compositing. So i decided to create an amalgam of different styles i researched ,adjusted it according to my will and added my own touches to it. I inspired my color palette from studio ghibli, did the compositing in my own way until it got a lively and vibrant look. I also learnt a new style when doing my background paintings for this animation

PLACES OF THE MIND : DEVELOPMENT -

This was the most challenging project for me so far because i learnt alot about the value of proportions when working with a 3D environment. I also dove in depth with the compositing since i wanted to make the environments look as vibrant and flashy as possible.

CONCLUSION :

I would say that i have a broader mind now with the capability to think about alot of simple quick ideas rather than lengthy and complex ones. I learnt new things from Sean's workshops and Alex's seminars. I also developed the habit of having a backup plan just as good as the initial one just in case something goes wrong. My backup plans have worked and been recieved well by my tutor and my class 3 times in this semester and its safe to say that i have inherited alot of habits that a professional animator should have and i only intend to fly higher and learn more new things.