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oinkinpigprince · 2 years

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Hi this is mainly for my friend but I was thinking about some of the one piece characters as cats, I’ve only read to chapter 30 so it’s only Nami, Luffy, Zoro, and Usopp

Luffy the type of cat who can’t swim, but whenever you’re taking bath he’ll jump straight into the water and then act surprised that he’s drowning

Also a very lanky cat, and stretch it’s very hard to pick him up cause of it

He’d also be a calico style cat or a black and white one, and loves running around and slamming into shit.

Would scarf his food down then try to steal everyone else’s, zoro’s kick his ass countless time

Also cat fights are hourly, like clock work Usopp and Luffy are the main antagonists

They also run around @ night knocking shit over and being the loudest POS then conk out all day

Zoro’s the cat that gets out and starts cat fights with the neighbor hood cats, comes back scratched up but soooooo proud of himself

Zoro’s the cat you get @ the shelter who every person told you was gonna be a problem and be hard to take care of and was gonna probably be very aggressive, and they were right but he also licks your nose when you’re laying on the couch so it’s worth it

Zoro also knocks glass specifically off the counter so that’s why you have to buy plastic dishes unless you want the most violent carpet known to man

He’s one of those built ass ugly ass blond cats(/pos) and has green eyes, also I feel like if he didn’t have green hair he’d have that fugly blond military cut hair

Doesn’t let anyone near him, unless it’s his favorite person. But it’s kinda hard to tell who’s his favorite person or he’s the one who lays on you, which is rare

Lays on your neck when you’re asleep and chokes you out, lovingly

Brings you dead birds as a sign of affection

Also watches you piss, just direct eye contact until you’re done

90% of your catch scratches are from him, but it’s like, lovingly

The other 10% are from Nami surprisingly, but that’s because you got too close to her horde of your shit

Steals everything from everyone and keeps it in a specific corner in a room or under your bed if she can

Very sweet but the type to let you pet her then bites immediately after

She has the bastard disease

I mean what do you expect from those gross lil orange cats

I need to stop being so damn mean, I fuckibg love cats wtf

Shes always napping on the stuff you need and looks at you bastardly when you try and gently try and get her off

Then gets offended when you actually do get her off

Kneeds your leg aggressively with the sweetest smile so you don’t do anything about it

She lays in your lap while your work or play games and licks your chin

Also grooms your hair or just licks your bald head if you don’t have any

Namis definitely the type to eat shit she shouldn’t eat

I said she hordes random shit but 90% is like any jewelry you own or shiny shit and old socks

Has eaten said jewelry and you’ve taken her to the pet ER numerous times for it, and she always has this shit eating grin on her face when you take her home

Usopp you found suck in your fence on a rainy day, you had to call a fire man to get him out and he’s been your problem everyday

Him and luffy have 4 brain cells combined, and luffy does not like sharing

Usopp gets trapped in everything and waits for you to come bail him out by meowing/screaming

He’s super cuddly though and very playful, he likes to act big and scary but one sudden move and he’s sprinting out pissing himself

Scared of everything new, then once he gets familiar it’s suddenly his favorite thing in the world

Also gets into fights like zoro but always looses and comes back crying and sad

He has big dog syndrome but for cats, he thinks he can fight pit bulls 9x his size but then runs away screaming the moment they move

But will still try and fight you

Gets into everything too somehow, then can’t get out??

Actually love water and will regularly hop in the tub w/ you and swim around

I feel like he could be a leash cat, walk him around on a leash

He’s a turtle shell cat btw, vry important

Runs around at ungodly hours of the night and jumps on you while you’re sleeping

But gets pissy if you wake him up

Prolly the best one to cuddle with, he’ll lay on your chest and purr while you two watch a movie

Walks on your keyboard while you’re typing though, bastard man

Licks everything too, everything he can get his spiky little tongue

Like zoro he’ll bring you stuff from his ‘hunt’ but it’s just leaves and sticks, you appreciate them anyways cause he got them FOR YOU

Does those very unimpressive jumps, falls a lot tbh

Loves playing w/ toys and his is the only reason you buy them, his favorite ones are the ones shaped like animals, especially birds

Jumps when he sees cucumbers & pickles

Fights w/ Nami a lot but that’s cause she takes his favorite toys into her stash and he wants them back and the two just growl and hiss at each other til they start fighting

Him and luffy get into a lot of trouble and have broken so many household appliances

Sleeps on freshly clean laundry and refuses to get up to let you fold and put it away

Don’t worry about him getting locked in the dryer he’s too scared to even go in there

Loves to drink out of the toilet like a dirty gremlin, every time you scold him he just has a blank stare on his face like •_____•

He’ll climb up your pant leg just to get your attention like kittens

He’s an attention whore

This was fun, I hope you like it calico :))

#one piece #one piece headcanons #one piece luffy #one piece luffy headcanons #one piece zoro #one piece zoro headcanons #one piece Nami #one piece nami headcanons #one piece Usopp #one piece Usopp headcanons #bro #I just started watching one piece why tf is it so long #theres so much #calico how are you already to liek chapter 500??#so much content I hope this turns into a hyper fixation enough so I can read it faster #so much #so many more headcanons and fanart to make

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sinner-as-saint · 4 years

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Poison Paradise.

Requests were sent in for fratboy!Bucky, tattooed Biker!Bucky and modern Bastard son!Bucky so here’s everything, in one.

Themes: smut, biker!bucky, fluff

This is how I picture Bucky for this

Bucky Barnes is the most popular guy on campus. He’s arrogant, and proud and somewhat of a bad boy. He’s loud, and a well-known troublemaker. He’s every professor’s nightmare. But he’s also drop dead gorgeous, with the kind of charm which made him hard to resist.

He was beautiful, but also dark and dangerous, like a poisoned paradise.

Frat house parties, getting wasted and then getting in trouble with his friends, always on his notorious loud bike which made all the girls almost worship the ground he walks on.

You always kept a safe distance from him and his friends. However, little did you know that he always kept an eye on you. After all, you were his step brother’s best friend.

Bucky hated his step brother with a passion. Mainly because the latter was the only legitimate child to their dad and due to that, Bucky sort of became the black sheep of the family while everyone else idolized his step brother - Steve.

Bucky always tried to stay away from Steve; never wanted to get in his business, stayed away from his friend group, and vowed to never talk to any of Steve’s friends. But that was until the day he saw you at a party. With Steve.

He managed to find a way to come up and talk to you. And he was aware that the whole room stared as he made his way over to you. Sleeves of tattoos on both arms, ears pierced, dogs tags dangling and bringing more attention to his broad, muscular chest and tan skin.

You had to admit, although an incorrigible fuckboy, Bucky Barnes was gorgeous. And those steel blue eyes of his made you weak in the knees. “So, are you Steve’s girlfriend?” He asked, all cocky as he leaned against the counter, facing you in the crowded kitchen.

You blinked a few times, got over the fact that the most popular guy on campus was just here having a conversation with you. “Uh, no. We’re just good friends.”

Bucky nodded, and smirked. “Good.” His answer made you frown. He took a step or two and leaned in to whisper in your ear. “Because else I’d have to get rid of him to make you mine.”

His words sent shivers down your spine. And once you recovered, you pulled away and faced him confidently. Cocky little shit. “In your dreams, Bucky.”

He chuckled, “Trust me babygirl, you don’t wanna know about what we do in my dreams.” he winked and gave you that smile which won over all the girls in a heartbeat. And although he was hard to resist, you found the courage to push him off and walk away.

Since that first interaction, it began - the chase. Bucky loved it, because most of the time the girls threw themselves at him. But not you, you on the contrary were pushing him away. But even he hit his limit eventually. So when he found you walking back to campus from your shift at the bakery one night, he decided to give you a ride. You were walking on the side walk when you heard the roar of his engine, you walked faster but he was beside you in no time, causing you to stop and stare even though you tried hard not to.

Fuck... he always looked so, delicious. The right amount of mysterious and hot. Bad boy charm which no one could resist. “Come on doll, it’s cold out. I won’t let you walk alone.” He persisted.

You glared at him and tightened your jacket around you. “I’m not getting on your bike.” You had always feared his mean, dark and dangerous looking bike.

He took his black helmet off and faced you again. His deep blue eyes looking deep into yours. “You’ll be fine doll, there’s not need to be afraid. All you have to do is hold me tight.” he spoke with a smirk.

To be honest, he looked like he was warm too. Plus it began drizzling a little and if you didn’t accept to take a ride with him, you’d have a cold by the time you made it back to your dorm. “Fine.” you muttered and Bucky quickly handed you the other, matching, helmet he always kept.

The ride back to campus was just how you imagined it would be; quiet with just the sound of the cold wind and light rain. Your arms wrapped around his torso instinctively and your heart raced as how close he was to you. His warm, hard and firm back pressing against you. You hated that you enjoyed the ride.

“So can I take you out?” he asked, out of nowhere once you got off his bike.

You eyes widened at him. “Give up Bucky. I won’t date you.”

He smirked, like he had been ready for this. “Why? ‘Cause you like Steve?” He sounded all cocky again.

“What? No. He’s a good friend.”

“Prove it.” Bucky scoffed. And you raised your eyebrow at him. He spoke again, “Go out with me and prove it. Else I’ll just lie and tell everyone that you’re in love with Steve.”

You sighed, annoyed and lowkey blushing. “What are we, five year olds?”

Bucky smirked and parked his bike and got off. Watching him get off that mean bike of his and removing his helmet was no less than watching a strip show. It excited you just the same. The way his arms flexed, and how he secured that helmet under his arm and how his dog tags looked all shiny in the dimmed lights and the look in his eyes... oh the look in his stormy blue eyes...

He approached you, leaned in closer, grabbed your chin in between his cold fingers and pressed his lips to yours. You were surprised, but once you got a taste of his lips, you couldn’t help but kiss him back.

He kissed you deeply, taking his time and savoring you. His tongue stroking the top of your mouth and making you all crazy. He placed his hand at your waist gently, pulling you closer. He kissed you until the taste of his mouth was branded in your head.

Moments later, when he pulled away he looked at you and mumbled, “Gotta say, you taste sweeter than the goodies at the bakery.” He winked and left. Left you standing there and admitting that yes – you were indeed falling under his spell and you were diving in head first.

Fuck, this is gonna be messy.

First date, he came to pick you up and took you to a cozy, warm diner not far from campus.

Second date, at a beach just in time to catch the sunset.

By the third date, you began realizing that actually Bucky wasn’t as bad as everyone thought he was. Sure he was cocky and arrogant, but he was also a deep thinker and a little bit of a space nerd. He had conspiracy theories on almost everything.

You two kept your… close bond, if you will, a secret. Especially from Steve. How could you tell your best friend that you had been going on dates with his half-brother whom he doesn’t quite get along with?

“Why do you hate Steve?” you dropped the question one night, as you and Bucky sneaked out and went to get ice cream.

“He’s always had it easy. Too easy. He’s perfect, everyone loves him. For once, I… I just need to have something that he can’t have.” His answer rubbed you the wrong way a little.

“Is that why I’m here? Is that why we’ve been hanging out, just so you could show off to Steve?” you asked, and he got quiet. “Bucky?” you called out, ready to leave if he didn’t answer right away.

He looked up at you sheepishly. “In the beginning, yes. But then falling for you wasn’t in the plan, it just sort of happened.” He continued, lowering his eyes. “You’re amazing. You’re kind, and warm and you don’t sugarcoat shit. You say it as it is. You’re not afraid to point out my mistakes. I need that. I need you.”

Oh…

You initially thought you’d be pissed off, but instead, you felt really confident and cocky. “So you like me?”

From that day on, things changed between you and Bucky. You began meeting and going out more frequently. Whenever your roommate was out, Bucky would sneak in and stay the night. He was quite an affectionate guy, much to your surprise.

Lots of hugs and kisses

Even more bike rides.

Dating fratboy/biker/bastard son!Bucky would include;

Realizing how much cleaner and tidy Bucky’s room was compared to the rest of the boys at the frat house

Always being invited to the frat house parties

Eventually telling Steve about you and Bucky. He wasn’t the happiest person when he heard it, but he did tell you that if Bucky hurts you, he would kick his ass and would enjoy it.

Not talking about his family, especially his dad, because it upsets him.

Him ditching ‘the boys’ to come hang out with you.

Him scaring away any potential new friends of yours with his tattoos, dog tags and stand-offish manner.

Movie nights would mainly be him watching the movie while cuddling you, but all your attention would go to his sleeves of tattoos and you could spend hours and hours just admiring them.

Playing with his dog tags whenever you’re napping together and he falls asleep faster.

Stealing his leather jackets, thinking he doesn’t notice because he has LOTS of them. Him noticing but letting you take them anyways.

Him picking you up and dropping to wherever you needed to go on his sexy bike. Oh you loved it.

You being a positive influence on him, and encouraging him to get his grades up and stop messing around so much. He was still just as mischievous, only a much better student as well.

And lots of sex; Bucky Barnes was insatiable…

“Babe come on,” he’d whine each time he’d come over to find you studying. “You can study later.” Making his way over to where you were sat in your bed. He’d make himself comfortable beside you, pushing his face into your neck and kissing your skin until you could no longer focus on homework. He’d smirk each time, knowing he was successful in distracting you and that now he’d have you all to himself for the rest of the night.

Bucky was also very jealous. Territorial, he preferred to call it.

“You’re mine, and I don’t want you around other guys.”

“Steve’s my friend! He’s your brother for fuck’s sake!”

“Half brother! And no, he’s not your friend. He wants you.”

“Bucky, shut up-,”

He’d cut you off with a kiss, pushing you against the wall and pinning your hands above your head. Kissing you hard, and making you moan a little. “I don’t wanna argue. You’re mine, and that’s that.”

He’d undress you in less than a minute; his lips and hands never leaving your body. He’d have you gasping and begging for more before he even touches you properly.

His hand would find it’s way in between your legs, fingers slipping past your wet entrance. You’d whine and hold on to him as he finger-fucks you. “Whose making you feel this good, huh baby?” he’d ask, all cocky and being the little shit he is. You’d moan his name and he’d chuckle. “That’s right, I am.” He’d lean in to whisper, “You belong to me. Your sweet, pretty little cunt is mine, you hear me?”

Okay but imagine him fucking you right there against the wall because he just needs to hear to scream his name and he’s too impatient to walk to the bed.

Legs wrapped around his waist, his tattooed arms holding you up, his cold dog tags pressing against your bare chest each time he spreads you open and pounds into you; each thrust deeper and harder than the last.

He’d moan right in your ear, growling each time your walls clenched around him, fucking you hard and fast. “You’re all mine, you get that?” he say through gritted teeth as he rams his cock in and out of you; making you tear up and moan at how well he filled you up and stretched you out.

After making you cum around his cock, he’d probably take you to bed and fuck you again. Pinning your sensitive body down on the bed and pounding into you until you came again, and again. Or maybe he’d eat you out; gently teasing you with his tongue and tasting you until you were so sensitive and overstimulated that you’d have to push him off or beg him to stop.

“Will you be mine?” he asked one night as the two of you were tangled in bed, bodies warm and damp due to fucking like animals just minutes ago.

“Thought I already was.” you teased.

He chuckled and kissed your forehead. “I meant, my girlfriend. Officially.”

You looked up at him and leaned in to kiss his jaw. “Yes.”

#bucky barnes au #bucky barnes #biker!bucky #fratboy!bucky #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes headcanon #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #steve rogers

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amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines · 3 years

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Sweet Pea and Fangs//Mission Accomplished

Request: If you're busy you can ignore this. I really like your poly! Fangs and Sweet Pea and I was wondering if you could do another one. Maybe about what being a family with them would be like. (You know like what kind of fathers would they be.) Thanks!

hey!! this was super cute to write! i hope you like it!

- Okay, so lets just say right now

- They would be the best dads in the world

- And you can bet that they both have mugs with ‘best dad in the world’ written on them

- Which they of course use literally every day

- So much so, that you have to replace them every couple of months

- Usually because Sweet Pea puts his down on a table to aggressively

- Or because Fangs doesn’t stir coffee, he bashes the spoon from side to side until he breaks the mug, the spoon, and occasionally himself.

- Anyway

- So lets say you got pregnant at like 24/25ish

- All three of you had moved out of Riverdale

- Because I mean lets be real, its not the safest place to start a family

- With the murderers and the cults and the gangs and literally everything else

- Plus, it had been Sweet Pea and Fangs’ dream to get out of the southside and riverdale and to have a better life than their parents did

- So all three of you have stable jobs that you love

- And a cute little apartment

- Filled with photos of the three of you

- And so many memories of your life together

- Including some random dog statue that Fangs found in the skip behind the apartment complex

- To this day you and Sweet Pea have no idea why he was there in the first place

- But you think the scratches on his hands, face and neck had something to do with it

- And so many plants

- So basically you’re parents already...right?

- Anywayyyyyy

- So, you guys were doing pretty good

- Vey, very happy together

- And you’d just come back from visiting Toni and Cheryl and their new baby girl

- Who is adorable by the way

- So you’d be chilling at home

- You and Sweet Pea watching something on Netflix

- While Fangs cooks dinner (its his turn and he’s the best cook)

- And you’d notice Sweet Pea and Fangs exchanging looks

- So you’d be suspicious

- And eventually, after the two of them giving each other very odd looks all throughout dinner, you’ve had enough.

- ‘okay. what’s going on?’

- ‘we wanna have a baby’ Fangs would blurt out and you and Sweet Pea’s eyes would both go wide.

- ‘what?’ you’d look between the two of them

- Fangs is pushing the last bit of food around the plate

- Sweet Pea is refusing to make eye contact with either of you, finding the ceiling fascinating

- While you’re tapping your foot against the floor

- ‘hello? anyone care to expand?’

- And Sweet Pea would sigh, and tear his gaze from the ceiling, settling on you.

- ‘fine. we’ve both been thinking about it for a whil-’

- ‘and then we went to see toni and cheryl and their kid is so cute and they look so happy and we want to start a family with you’ Fangs would interrupt.

- Of course you’d also thought about having kids.

- Sweet Pea and Fangs are the love of your life

- They’re who you want to spend the rest of your life with

- Plus you’ve been dating since you were like 16, so it makes sense

- But it was difficult enough for Toni and Cheryl to have a baby

- This is going to be complicated

- Both of them will obviously be this kids dad...

- But what if when its born the other gets jealous?

- What if they feel like they’re not properly apart of it?

- Would you even find out who the biological dad was?

- Or would you just leave it?

- What about when the kid is older?

- There’s already enough stigma about kids having two moms or two dads

- What about one with two dads and one mom?

- So, you’d all sit down after dinner and talk about everything

- The possible problems

- How you would raise it

- If you’re all ready

- And you’d finally figure it out

- Well, the best that you could anyway

- But in the end you’d figured that you’d all be alright because you had each other

- So then the fun bit ;)

- You’d be trying for a few months

- Much to the happiness of Fangs and Sweet Pea

- They weren’t complaining

- And then when you do get pregnant

- Holy fuck are they happy

- Like literally jumping around, hugging each other, hugging you

- They’re literally the happiest people ever

- The first thing they do is call Toni

- Because well, they have to tell their best friend that she’s going to be an aunt.

- And a few minutes later, Cheryl texts you a video of Toni on the phone, jumping up and down as they tell her.

- Anyway, so once they’ve calmed down they instantly go into protective mode.

- Like

- ‘oh, sit down. standing up is not good for the baby.’

- ‘what?’

- ‘do you need a drink? food? a nap? a hug?’

- ‘i’m good’

- And you think this is just going to last for a few days

- But no

- This continues all through the pregnancy

- And afterwards tbh

- They are so protective

- You always sleep in the middle so they can both keep you two safe

- Even if it is a nightmare when you need to pee

- Fangs did suggest a bucket by the bed but you and Sweet Pea both agreed that was too far

- They go to all the scans

- And cry

- Every. Single. Time

- Sweet Pea’s suggests going to the baby classes

- Even though you’re kind of unsure of what people will say

- But you go

- And its surprisingly, okay

- You get a few strange looks

- But who the hell cares

- And Sweet Pea and Fangs both have their own little notebooks that they’re furiously scribbling notes in

- And they always take turns to practice on the fake babies

- Plus, before you all go to bed the three of you will read baby books, occasionally swapping them every so often.

- ‘did you know that new-borns are short sighted’

- ‘ha, four eyed loser’

- ‘i’m sorry. how old are you sweet pea?’

- So they’re just the sweetest

- And every time they come back from work they aways have something for the baby

- Literally. Every. Time

- No matter what.

- ‘how many shoes do you think this baby is going to need?’

- ‘i don’t even think babies need shoes, at least not for the first few months’

- ‘no baby needs this many leather jackets.’

- ‘yeah, but its got a snake on the back! how could i just leave it there?’

- ‘where did you find a leather jacket for a baby with a snake on the back?’

- ‘...the serpents made it for us.’

- And they buy the most weird stuff

- Like you’re getting amazon packages every other day

- The neighbors think you guys are doing something illegal

- Sweet Pea buys a baby grow that has labels for where the arms and legs go

- And when you ask him why

- ‘its for fangs. i’m just helping him out’

- So in retaliation, Fangs buys one with instructions of where to feed the baby and where to change it

- Also this doesn’t stop when your baby is born, they’re still buying stupid t-shirts with stupid slogans on well into its 20s

- Your favourite thing they’ve bought is definitely the fake tattoo sleeve

- So, you’re keeping the gender a surprise

- Because who cares

- So you’re going for like a yellow or gray nursery

- And Sweet Pea and Fangs are insisting on doing it all them selves

- The painting

- The furniture

- The little accessories

- Everything

- Needless to say you hear a huge crash within five minutes of them starting

- So you do it together instead

- You start painting while they put the crib together

- There’s some left over screws at the end but they decide against telling you that

- It looks stable enough

- And just to make sure, Fangs tested it out...and got stuck

- They make sure to take tons of pictures throughout the entire pregnancy

- Much to your annoyance

- ‘I’ve just thrown up for the third time in five minutes...stop taking my damn picture.’

- ‘i want to capture every moment’

- ‘why!?!?’

- But you love the majority of them

- There’s some of you by yourself

- Some of them with you and one of them

- Others with the three of you together

- Both of them looking at you like you’re their entire world

- (which you are)

- And there’s a few pictures of just the two of them with fake pregnancy bellies on, in the style of a professional photo shoot

- Another late night Amazon purchase

- Which when you opened you were...confused to say the least.

- When you’re nearing your due date they make sure at least one person is with you at all times, just in case you go into labour

- And that works, until the day you actually go into labour and you’re alone

- Fangs is at work and Sweet Pea had to run to the store to get ice cream and snacks

- And then it happens

- You’re panicking but trying not to, but its not working

- Sweet Pea comes back and then he sees your panicked face and he drops the food and almost himself to be honest

- He’s running around trying to find your bag and his bag and Fangs’ bag

- And you’re trying to ring Fangs but he’s not answering

- Sweet Pea eventually gets through to him when you guys get the hospital and you can hear Fangs screaming down the phone

- He makes it there in five minutes, even though he works at least fifteen minutes away

- They’re on either side of you

- Both panting and telling you to breathe

- Basically they are being ridiculous

- And very unhelpful

- Especially when the breathing is mainly to calm themselves down

- And then Sweet Pea gets distracted, blows a rubber glove up and it pop’s

- And to be honest the fright it gave you, you thought you’d given birth

- But when its time for you to start pushing they’re right next to

- Holding your hands

- Saying so many nice things

- Being so sweet and supportive

- And they also take a moment to hug each other while they watch

- Like they’re crying

- At one point Fangs just screams

- ‘i told you not to look down there’ Sweet pea scolds

- ‘does it go back to normal?’ Fangs would ask

- ‘god, i hope so’ You’d groan in pain

- But then your daughter is born and they’re smitten

- This tiny little life is theirs

- And it relies on them for everything

- And they’re so proud of you

- Literally they’re heart is going to burst with love and pride for you

- They love her so much

- And instantly take their roles very seriously

- The first night they let you sleep because well you’ve just given birth, you need a rest

- And it gives them a chance to bond

- They take turns holding her

- And feeding her

- And just talking to her

- ‘we’re you’re dads’ Fangs would whisper

- ‘i’m sweet pea. nice to meet you.’

- ‘what are you doing?’

- ‘introducing myself. i have to make a good impression, and we need to teach her manners’

- ‘shit, you’re right. hello, i’m fangs, your other dad...do i like, shake her hand?’

- ‘hmmm, yeah. i think she’s too young for a high-five’

- ‘thats your mom over there. she’s asleep at the minute so we have to be really quiet, but she loves you so much...and so do we. you’re our entire world’

- They’re so gentle with her

- And with you

- When you get home, the three of you show her around her new home

- And show her all the pictures on the walls, explaining the memories behind each of them

- You also make sure to introduce her to her siblings (the houseplants)

- When she’s a little older Sweet Pea starts teaching her how to defend herself

- ‘she’s three sweet pea, she doesn’t need to know how to karate chop someone’

- ‘yes she does. i’m always going to be around to keep her safe...but just in case. which reminds me, do you know how to karate chop someone?’

- Fangs teaches her how to cook

- Like she knows everything by the times she’s 10

- Both of them teach her stupid (and sometimes inappropriate) jokes

- Out of the two of them, Fangs is usually the one to tell her off

- Actually, its you...you’re the one to tell her off if she’s done something wrong because they both can’t bring themselves to shout at her

- Its difficult for you too (so its a blessing that she’s actually pretty well behaved, unlike all three of her parents)

- Fangs is definitely the most over protective

- He follows her around when she starts to crawl, literally if she moves a centimeter, he’s up and following her around.

- Sweet Pea is always the one to cheer her up when she’s sad

- And you’re the one she always goes to when she’s hurt herself or if she just needs a hug

- She loves all of you so much

- And you love her

- They still insist of taking pictures of literally every moment

- It actually increases after she’s born

- You really don’t know how thats possible

- Even she gets annoyed at it

- ‘really dad? another one??’

- ‘hey! when all three of us are dead and buried you’re going to look back at these and wish we’d taken more’

- They make it their life mission to teach her every single thing they know about the world

- And all three of you make it your life mission to make sure she knows how loved she is

- Which you definitely accomplished

#sweet pea #fangs #fangs fogarty #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea x reader #sweet pea x you #sweet pea x y/n #fangs imagine #fangs x reader #fangs x you #fangs fogarty imagine #fangs fogarty x reader #fangs fogarty x you #riverdale #riverdale imagine #sweet pea x fangs #sweet pea x fangs x reader #fangs x reader x sweet pea

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rodeoxqueen · 3 years

Text

AWAS

CHAPTER ONE: BE NOT AFRAID

“Dante and Vergil return from Hell to tie up loose ends from their year-long absence. While they seek a sense of normalcy, the fates send them anything but.”

Contents: Violence, Blood and Gore, Brotherly Banter, Explicit Language, Slight Angst

Rodeo’s Two Pieces:

I'm very excited to show y'all what I have been working on since hell, November of 2020. Thank you kindly for sticking around.

Back to the present, where the world turned on its axis for months without the weight of the blood of Sparda upon itself, the tides had changed.

In the midnight, had the stars laid witness to the damn near impossible. A portal had opened from the underworld, and two brothers stumbled out. Clutching their swords, Dante and Vergil reunited with the human realm.

How long had it been? Of endless violence and humorous quips thrown at the other, as the years of the gnashing of teeth smoothened the rough patches of their disjointed childhoods?

“We’re back, Verg.” Dante chuckled, arm over his brother’s shoulder.

“We are.” Vergil echoed. The obnoxious weight fell off of him and landed on the ground with a thud.

Dante had got on his knees and kissed the earth that they now stood on.

“Don’t be a fool,” Vergil said, staring at the moon. After years of wanting to become one with Hell, he tilted the false king’s crown to admire the clear sky.

Dante rolled to the ground, sighing in relief.

“We’re back.” He repeated. His brother nudged him with the Yamato.

“Get up. We must find our way back.” Eyes closed and a grin across his face, Dante let the wind pass through his bloodied and matted hair.

“Now we sound like a real team.” Vergil scoffed.

After a few moments, Dante got back up. They had arrived back from Hell to a cliffside overlooking a city that was not Redgrave.

“I assume you have unfinished business in Redgrave.” Dante nodded.

“I sure do.”

The portal became a forgotten relic, the Sparda brothers nowhere to be seen, their demonic presence known to the world.

Dante was known for many things, but mainly for how much of a constant he had remained in everyone’s lives. Never changing, staying the same as he was, an unstoppable force of sarcastic expression.

And also a huge manchild.

Vergil rubbed his temples in frustration.

“Dante. When I referred to unfinished business, I was clearly referring to your shop.”

“Yeah? And I was referring to this.” Dante bit into another slice of pizza, practically moaning.

Vergil sat ramrod straight, sitting awkwardly in a pizzeria. The two were the elephants in the room, both slathered in demonic gore and toting swords. People either gawked or left the establishment.

“You are still an idiot after all this time.”

“Yeah, and I’m also still hungry.”

“Surely your business is more important than this.”

“Meh.”

The blue devil waited for him to finish an hour later, the long-held bill lengthening after months of his absence.

Of course, he had to have indulged a few pieces of his own. It was nothing like the gaminess of demon flesh he had forced himself to sustain upon. It was almost melting in his mouth, unlike the resistance of the shank of a demon. He was never one for vegetables as a child, Dante even more so. Yet the crunch of the toppings was well-received to Vergil, deprived of basic human sustenance for a few odd decades.

However, he found it unthinkable Dante would continue to indulge himself in this for as long as he did.

The door reopened and closed once more to reveal the broad daylight of the streets. Clean, pristine, the sounds of cars and people filled in the crisp air.

Vergil’s boots walked upon a paved road for the first time in ages, man-made and unassuming concrete with stubborn weeds growing from the crevices. No mouth-having crimson blooms that grew to a man’s height. Just simple creatures that fell softly to his weight on their fragile stems.

He had never been here before, where Dante claimed to be his home.

“What’s after this for you, Vergil?” Dante asked his brother, swiping a few demons out of his way.

Vergil, also in his triggered form, huffed a dismissive sigh.

“You know, you should stay with me. Devil May Cry’s always got a spare couch to crash on.”

“Why would I do that?” He slashed a horned devil in two, spewed in putrid green blood. Dante chuckled, knowing there was hesitance in his voice.

“Because I’m offering, big brother. When’s the last time you’ve had a place to call home?”

“I believe you know the answer to that question.” Vergil slid onto his knees under a crouching demon, disemboweling it from top-down. A final gunshot rang his ears, a noise he had to get used to with Dante’s reliance on firearms.

Dull thuds and a flash of red, Dante stood above his brother, offering a now-human hand.

The horde was cleared away like dust on a counter, gone with the wind. Vergil and Dante stood in silence, two children again.

The younger pulled his brother up, insistent stubbornness in his eyes.

“I didn’t hear a no to my offer, Vergil.” Vergil sighed, releasing his hold of his brother’s hand.

“You did not hear a yes either.” Dante chuckled, following his already-leaving brother.

From the past to the present, Vergil’s answer had been neither, never spoken of what he was to do after everything. Yet here he was, now the latter of the two when it came to guidance.

There were many ways the two could have made their entrance to Devil May Cry and have it be a smooth transition back from months of Hell. Dante kicking down the door with a loud “I’m back baby!” was simply not one of them.

Vergil saw that a familiar dark-haired woman was sitting on the desk, absent-mindedly waiting for Trish to return. A girl who once blamed him for her father’s corruption, now a woman with no heed to his presence.

Lady had dropped her nail file, eyes wide at the sight of the two brothers.

“Dante,” Lady whispered as if she was greeting a ghost.

“Yep, it’s me. In the flesh.”

“Dante…”

“Did you miss me? Love what you did to the place.” Dante commented at the cleaned-up shop.

Her face of still confusion warped into anger.

“Dante!”

“Oh boy.”

The next thing he knows, Vergil watches his brother get lectured like a dog. Standing up yet with the attitude of a man in a fetal position, Dante let himself become used to the sound of their tirades once more.

“You had the audacity to give the deed to Morrison. Crazy bitches?! Really!” Dante shrugged.

“I mean if I barked up your tree all day you’d be calling me a-”

“Hey, Lady.” Trish walked into the shop, icily glancing at the two brothers.

“Look at what the hellhound dragged in.” Lady pointed to Dante and Vergil.

“Oh please, I could smell them from a mile away.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, Hell doesn’t have any spas. Shame we couldn’t freshen ourselves up before coming here.” Dante sassed. Trish gave a pointed look.

“As much as it was nice to do some hot girl things, we could put Dumb and Dumber to good work.”

“What are you talking about?”

Lady gave a toothy smile.

“How do you think we got this place managed? Money. Money that you now owe us.”

“Hey! I never said you had to do anything.”

“You’d be real upset if we didn’t do anything either, Dante.”

Finally, after sitting through an eternity of harsh words and steep bills, Dante had more than ever landed himself in shambles. Again. At least he was liberated to take a shower. After Vergil of course.

He was surprised to find that the water was still running, and even more elated that it was hot water. Man, maybe paying the bills was a good thing. It felt like ages of grime and gore had been swept off his skin, his hair finally a familiar stark white. In the steam of the bathroom, he breathed out relief.

When he stepped out, he was surprised to see Vergil laying on his bed completely asleep. Usually uptight and composed, Vergil curled in on himself wearing some of Dante’s clean sweatpants that caught dust from all the months they were gone.

With a smile on his face, Dante chose the couch for once and didn’t complain.

They all deserved rest, Dante taking his nap with a magazine on his face. Future Dante could deal with this.

He never expected there to be any neater ends than the frayed knots he left in his human affairs. Yet, he wasn’t alone this time. Neither of them was.

The next few days, Dante gave his nephew a call. Well, more like Nero called him and Dante finally picked up.

Vergil had gotten up after days of practical unconsciousness, foreign to the comfort of a bed, a place to stay, yet much obliged to remain where he laid.

He came down the stairs, rubbing his eyes still. Dante’s voice was muffled until he was in the same room, Dante speaking through the phone to his son.

“Hey, your old man’s here.” Vergil shook his head, having no interest to answer, yet Dante kept waving the phone in his face.

Taking the phone, Vergil heard his son take a breath.

“Hey, Vergil. Nice to see you back from Hell. Um, can’t imagine that was a fun time.” Nero said, unknowing of how to speak to his stranger of a father.

“Indeed.” Dante face-palmed, sitting with another one of his accursed magazines.

“Yeah, um. I have your book.”

“Hmm.” Nero sighed.

“Do you want it back? I’m coming over soon for business reasons.” A hint of desperation and embarrassment from Nero went over Vergil’s bedhead.

“That would suffice…”

“Alright-”

“Thank you, Nero.” Vergil blurted, seeing Dante mouth the words “say thank you.”

Nero stopped for a minute, a few moments of silence on Vergil’s side.

“No problem...Vergil. I got to go. Take care, alright?” Vergil hmmed as a response. The line went dead.

Dante’s grin immensely irritated Vergil, a man who was incapable of second-hand embarrassment.

“Stop that. Wipe that expression off your face. You wanted a conversation with me and Nero, there you have it.”

Dante propped his face up with his hand, a cat that ate the canary.

“Nah.”

Vergil growled in annoyance.

Unfortunately for Dante, and luckily for Vergil, bills had to be paid and jobs to be done. Morrison had arrived a few days later, pleased to see an old friend returned from the underworld. Walking in, he was barely surprised that the shop had returned to a pig-sty appearance.

“Morrison! Nice to see you again.” Dante welcomed, sitting at his desk. Vergil eyed the unfamiliar man, reading through a book.

“Got a new job for you boys. About time you got those girls off your backs about having your little vacation in Hell.” A familiar smell of cigar smoke traced the air, Dante leaning back on his chair, intrigued.

“So Morrison, what nasty demonic critters does this gig entail?” Dante asked, arms crossed.

“There’s a demon runnin’ around towns, causing a lot of trouble.” Morrison placed a photo down, blurred and poorly taken. Although, the grotesque purple skin and rippling eyes on its body didn’t leave much to admire.

“Huh,” Dante mumbled. Vergil examined the picture.

“I’ve never seen a demon like this before. Sure is ugly, though.” Dante noted, pointing at a flat and angular head, pallid yellow eyes that bulge out of its sockets on the sides, and needle-like teeth in multitudes.

“My sources say it’s been going North, the last town they passed was here. Just this morning. It’s making some distance, I’d get to it as soon as you can.” Morrison revealed a map, a red circle around a certain landmark.

“It’s scaring the shit out of people and causing some casualties to be contained.”

“Alright, we’ll take ‘em.” Dante stuck his hand out, expecting cash. Morrison tutted, patting Dante’s shoulder.

“You’ve been spoiled, Dante. Nah, you’re gonna bag this son of a bitch and then we can talk about payment.”

Dante groaned, taking the job. Morrison tipped his hat to Vergil. Vergil glared in return.

“It’s been nice catching up with you boys.” He called out, leaving the shop.

The door thudded as it shut, and the two were alone once more.

“Well, we just got our get-out-of-jail card. Come on, let’s get going.” Dante grunted.

“Must you complain about everything?” Vergil muttered.

Outside, it was late morning with a slight breeze. The familiar sounds of a motorcycle came to Vergil’s attention.

Dante had sat on Cavalier, expecting Vergil to get on.

“Must you rely on that garish thing?”

“It’s too bad you can’t fucking teleport somewhere you’ve never been. Get on the motorcycle.”

Dante patted the seat, Vergil obeying for once.

“Ready for your first job?”

“More than you are.”

They tore through the streets of Redgrave, going north.

The sun rose and started to fall, endless roads leading through towns and cities that paid them only a slight turn of their heads.

The map’s glaring red bullseye had become a dead-end of sorts, the two resorting to walking instead.

Redgrave had always felt muggy with the air of hell creatures around. Here, in this unmarked territory, it had felt clearer. But also more unsettling, the idea of a demon scuttling about more of an awful surprise.

They felt consumed by the empty streets, busted in windows, and vacated shops and residential places in their lonesome wandering.

Something before had wiped this location clean of humans, and now something else was lingering in its place.

“This area has been abandoned.” Vergil walked over giant cracks through the ground, leading to a deserted town.

“Not surprised,” Dante answered, thinking about a certain tree, “good thing we don’t have to deal with any more civilians.”

A buzz in his blood reminded Dante that something was certainly there. The alleys were a perfect spot for creatures to linger, waiting for prey.

As below, so above. A ringing through the air was quickly parried by steel. Dante’s sword stopped a shower of needles from stabbing him, a stray one cutting the side of his cheek. It jolted him as a creature bounded the rooftops of the buildings, a hulking mass of reptilian skin.

Vergil raced after the creature, having blocked all the assailant’s long-distance attacks. Claws dug through the tiles, running on all fours from rooftops to silently treading the paved roads.

It’s clearly after an objective.

Dante chased after the beast from the ground, firing shots at the agile demon. Vergil jumped buildings, gritting his teeth at the demon’s inherent ability to evade and attack back, dodging tail spikes.

The streets all lead to the town center, where a fountain long cleaved in two from giant roots, stood.

Dante and Vergil came across the demon, purple skin stretched over its pointed bones, facing a cloaked individual.

“Hey, pal-” Dante was shushed by Vergil, the two standing a distance away from the hunched-over beast, much taller than either of them when standing on its hind legs.

Neither of them had expected another person in this area, clearly an oddity in the shambles of civilization.

“Famulus. Servant of Raphael.” A rumbling growl echoed in the night in response.

“I’m obliged, filthy halfling.” It hissed, crouched over and leaning to leer to the monotonous voice.

“You will tell me where he is.”

“His brothers may have underestimated you, but my master has known of your presence. Sending his best, I, to exterminate you.”

The person said nothing, as all that was all that needed to be said.

“Looks like we found it’s been searching for,” Dante mentioned, alerting the attention of the formidable monster and unassuming humanoid.

Glazed-over eyes narrowed with bloodlust met the twins as they readied themselves for anything.

“I will bring Raphael the heads of Sparda, once I am done with you.”

The hooded stranger turned their head to the two. With their face void of any expression, the twins had no idea what to think of them.

A pulse went through the air, Dante and Vergil’s skin jolting at a sudden warm wave in the air. Milliseconds after, a rotating ring of golden energy rattled through the stones, passing through the spaces in the pavement that lead to Dante’s boots.

Vergil and Dante were thrown like ragdolls meters away by an unseen force, Dante hitting the ground twice and rolling to a stop as Vergil stuck a landing with the Yamato through the floor.

A golden sphere surrounded the bruise-colored demon and the humanoid, who cocked their head in a disinterested manner, glaring at the taller creature.

Dante touched the wall before them, warm and pulsing with life. Despite the magnitude, he noted how it didn’t seem to hurt him, only pushing back from his own applied pressure.

Vergil paid it no mind, conflict occurring right before their eyes.

Famulus lunged at the smaller person who dodged, hands grappling at a giant maw, throwing its body to the barrier.

Tail spikes unfurled and bristling, Famulus’ hackles rose.

On hind legs, the demon stood well-over the miscreant, who allowed the beast to come to them. No matter how fast Famulus struck, claws phased through the empty air where it expected pliant flesh. Even swipes of its giant tail between quick strikes and heavy blows had been easily dodged.

A rain shower of blade-like projectiles flew at them, their body dropping down to avoid several. Dozens stuck above where their head was, a near fatality.

A needle whistled as it was caught by a calloused hand, palm tightly wrapped around the quill aiming for their chest. Several had torn through their cloak, nearly pinning them to the ground. They let out a startled noise, moving themselves up.

Famulus ran at them, prepared to rip them apart while they were down. Surely a cowardly move than preferred, but a move nonetheless.

They whipped their head around, jaw gritted. The same clutched quill was thrown like a javelin straight into Famulus’ snout.

Pulsating pain and white-hot agony made the beast screech, purple flesh burnt and smoking.

They shook themselves free of any spikes, clad in ancient robes. Nothing a common human would wear now. Even a demon could tell something was off about this one creature in human skin.

This was no common miscreant come to place vengeance upon its master. Raphael had requested Famulus to obliterate this insect as if none of his lord’s underlings could defeat them.

You shall return them to their grave, Famulus. A low gravelly voice rang through the demon’s head, a present message. The snake-like eye in the middle of its forehead rolled back and returned when its master’s command became silent.

“Yes, I shall.”

The foe stiffened as if they had gotten the answer they had been looking for. Famulus knew that. And like the devil it was, it goaded their curiosity.

“You will never make it to my master’s domain. I will gnaw on your bones, putrid being.”

If only if Famulus knew that there was no goading a foe that was already plotting several paces ahead.

Lashing out, a meter-long arrow-like appendage was fired at them once more while the demon began to collect its true power from the air around it.

It missed the mark, sinking into the ground to have the intended target land upon the blunt end, balancing coyly. Several more jabbed at the barrier, sticking into the protective sphere as the cloaked being ducked and turned to avoid scythe-like claws and disemboweling long-distance attacks. Famulus struck a blow that surely meant death, supposedly cornering the prey, until they vanished in thin air. A hazy afterimage materialized and faded away, swiped into nothing.

Immediately, they appeared to the side of the demon, who just began to rear its head to perceive this teleportation.

Legs bent as they were parallel to the ground, they drop-kicked the reptilian brute, scaly skin rippling at the impact.

Famulus’s neck snapped the wrong way, letting out a moist creaking noise as the body stayed stubbornly rooted to the ground. Incapacitated, it could not stop the smaller fighter from leaping onto a begotten tail spike from the ceiling of the barrier, yanking it, and falling back down to its capitulum.

The hooked and jagged arrowhead bit through toughened flesh, securing them to the flat of its head, glowing hand pressing against the middle eye, the key to finding Raphael.

A once distinguished demon, Famulus lashed its head about like a common beast. The joints in its neck realigned, sickening crunches with each segment joined.

Pushing their energy into the convulsing eye, Famulus felt its connection to its lord become not of its own.

Paralyzed from the sensation of a pulling force, tugging away at flesh, and seeping their own life force into it, digging into its mind, Famulus’ muscles twitched and convulsed like an animal to be dissected.

Famulus snarled to itself.

The veins leading to the spike stuck in its head pulsed, conducting electricity straight to the open palm. A strained cry left their mouth as they relented their hold.

The final twist of its head thrashed them off to hit the ground.

Flashing images of a lair, of an iron throne, flashed through its mind.

Famulus had failed to hide his master’s location. And with that, its murderous intent grew.

Despite the finality of its fate, its tail swished with anger and boiling rage to either do the job or keel over in defeat.

The thief got up with little grace again.

Its many eyes had noticed the bloodstains within their cloaked form, old wounds from recent battles. There wasn’t much damage left for them to take.

No one could dodge the Mjölnir.

Dante felt the hairs on his arms stand at full attention. Brows crossed, the older Sparda swiped through bits of his hair that lilted up from their slicked-back position.

“Hey, do you feel that-”

A beam of dark lightning was emitted from Famulus’s tail, striking straight into the opponent’s chest, shards of pure energy slicing through the air with a symphony of cracks rattling the street. Several pebbles flitted off the earth, scorching hot.

The lightning was overpowering, the cries of the stricken muted, body curling to itself with arms stiffening at the chest.

Dante and Vergil both believed defeat was imminent, preparing to have to take out the demon themselves.

When the flashes of demonic power died down, Famulus had witnessed the impossible.

Even with the golden shroud having been faltered, the thunderstruck figure had not been smitten.

Famulus’s needle-tooth grin dropped at the turn of events, rearing back on all fours.

Black lightning danced off their skin, flickering yellow sparks onto the cobblestones.

“No one of that stature could be capable of such an atrocity, and still be human.” Vergil thought to himself.

Famulus was the strongest of the Pessulum litter, demons that nursed from the deadliest of storms to emerge the top of their species. The demon had killed bigger and stronger with less than it had exhibited today.

And now, this runt of a creature had stood against it with no fear, not even close to death? Taking its strongest attack with no problem?

A rush of fear chilled its electrified veins. Stories of the being, whispers amongst Raphael’s underlings, its master’s own grinding teeth at the news of his brothers and their sudden falling, proven true by the might of this mysterious being.

Famulus would live with no merit to his name, scorned by Raphael, seen as less by its inferiors.

“If that does not kill you then I will!” Famulus jumped, claws extended like scythes to slice flesh to ribbons.

Clumsily taking one step forward, tense arms fought back to form one hand pointing to the snout of the devil, the other to the skies.

The thunder was released from its subjugation, deafening annihilation.

A blinding beam of sheer gilden lightning shot right into the demon, many opaque eyes centering at the color of death. Through the other hand, thunderbolts went off like firecrackers into the atmosphere, exploding rapidly and chaotically.

“Holy shit,” Dante exclaimed, sparks dancing off the paved path and flittering in the air.

Vergil ground his heels to the ground, the frontward force of the explosion pushing against him.

The blow sank into purpled flesh, veins and nerves turned from putrid black to nearly white, keeping the demon trapped in the air, still positioned to pounce and disembowel. Famulus didn’t even make any noise, the renowned servant burned alive.

Seethingly hot, with the very air molecules shaking at the display, the twins watched skin and bone become ash and dust. Killed by one’s trump card.

Not even a fallen tail spike was left, the aftershocks settling the twice-over-cremated remains scattering to the wind.

The redirection of the lightning strike had taken a toll on the hooded figure, who straightened up shakily, face revealed for all to see.

A pair of eyes were two suns in the dead of night, a contrast to the light blue ones that perceived them.

Standing alone, centered by destroyed store windows and melted streetlights, they seemed impassive to their might. It was as if they weren’t just blasted with lightning, where their fabric was scorched the only evidence of the offense.

Dante and Vergil didn’t know what to do, not knowing if this person would attack them as well.

They stayed where they were, the moon right above their head, shining around their crown of messy hair.

“Be not afraid.”

Voice hoarse, their mouth moved differently than to the words they just called out.

Before the twins could think of anything to say, the figure beyond them collapsed.

Vergil was silent, still processing all of this. Who was this person? What were they looking for? Who was Raphael?

Dante rushed forward, heavy footsteps raising ashes from their resting place.

Vergil followed, the Yamato ready to be unleashed at any hesitation.

Dante turned them over, noting the strange force surrounding them had remained. As if someone larger was there.

A human face from under the worn, textile cloak greeted them, exhausted and at peace with unconsciousness.

Two lines dripped down their face from their nose. Bleeding crimson, a human above all. In-and-out, slow breaths moved their chest just enough to know they were alive.

“A half-demon?” Vergil questioned himself.

“If they killed the demon, do we have to split the cash with them?” Dante blurted. Vergil raised an eyebrow at the inquiry.

Before he could retort, Dante had lifted them, their stature dwarfed in strong arms.

“Let’s ask them when they wake up.”

“Dante, you are not bringing that thing back.”

“You’re right. I’m not. You are. Open a portal.” He said with a shit-eating grin.

Vergil reluctantly did so, the Yamato ripping open the fabric of space. He would regret this, he was sure of it.

#dante and vergil finally arrive #vergil x reader #dante x reader #devil may cry #vergil sparda #dante sparda #nero sparda #lady devil may cry #dmc trish #devil may cry series #series #AWAS

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akutagawasbitch · 4 years

Note

Aku, Atsushi, Chuuya, Higuchi, and whoever u want--how do they act when they're black out drunk??? Absolutely shit faced?

Of course my love, I had so much fun writing these. Let the crack commence <3

Chuuya

As we all know he can fly but when he's drunk he'll fly into shit all the fucking time. The side of a building, random walls, the window of his penthouse. You name it he's probably flown into it and face planted it while drunk

He also suffers from short man syndrome and will not hesitate to punch anyone. He has been kicked out of many bars for throwing the bartender when they cut him off

He likes to flirt but when drunk, he turns into a mess. Slurring his words, mixing up pickup lines and or just forgetting how to speak. It's all happened to him before but if dazai is around? He turns into the best womanizer in all of Yokohama for the sake of his pride

His favourite drunk food is ramen, he'll make shitty 99 cent ramen in his penthouse and devour it

His normally refined palette goes out the window

While he can be aggressive, if you're friendly to him, Chuuya will be your friend and be an absolute sweetheart back. He's made many a friend on drinking nights who he never remembers but they remember him

Amazon and drunk Chuuya are his wallet's greatest enemy

He will spend hours scrolling through and buy himself the stupidest shit ever

He once bought a massive playhouse because he wanted one

He'll also buy himself hats

Buys ridiculous shit and has it delivered to Dazai's apartment

One time he had hair removal cream disguised as shampoo order and dazai used it

Loves to dance while drunk

He will fucking get down with any song and is amazing at dancing

Loves going to karaoke bars, gets super into it. He will sing any song and is always surprisingly good at it.

Passes out super quickly and easily so he never stays out too long

Dazai

Doesn’t like drinking too much as it reminds him of when him and Oda would go to Lupin together.

When he’s drunk, he swears he can hear Oda talking to him telling him what an idiot he’s being.

He’s either an incredibly happy and elated drunk or a horribly suicidal depressed drunk. It depends on how much he has to drink. If he’s tipsy, he laughs a lot and feels a genuine sense of happiness, not the fake happiness he feels most of the time. If he is blackout drunk, he’s depressed and highly suicidal but in a more serious way. No more mushrooms or trying to drown himself, he goes for knives and pills but he always wakes up.

He will trip a lot and be incredibly clumsy when drunk. His bandages come undone which he doesn’t notice causing him to trip on them. This happens regularly

When drunk he’s more prone to bumping his head on things since he isn’t paying attention. Ceilings, fans, lights, door frames. No matter what drunk dazai is a tall bastard with no spatial awareness

His flirting goes through the roof when drunk. He will flirt with anything that moves, he does not care.

You know what else goes through the roof when he’s drunk? His d- appetite. This man can rival Kenjii or Atsushi in how much he can eat when drunk. He orders 6 different plates of crab and devours them like he’s never eaten in his life.

His self restraint goes out the window and he’ll go break into Chuuya’s apartment just to mess with him and steal his hat or something along those lines. Drunk Dazai loves to fuck with people.

He’s also more relaxed and will happily let Naomi or Yosano do his makeup if they asked nicely enough. He’d brag about how he’s the “prettiest princess of them all” before passing out

Aku

You think Akutagawa has no filter? Wait until you meet drunk Akutagawa. This man doesn’t even know what a filter is.

He deadass looks at Chuuya and stares at him before commenting “You’re short” with a deadpan look.

He also has a surprisingly high tolerance and enjoys strong alcohol over wine.

His lack of filter gets him into trouble more often than not and he gets into fights a lot. He actually uses his fists while drunk over using Rashomon mainly because he can barely speak a word without hiccuping

He has trouble speaking, he either hiccups through every sentence or slurs his words to the point where they are unintelligible

He is more chatty than normal but don’t expect a Dazai or Chuuya level of chatter.

He likes to drink spiked teas

He does enjoy drinking with others and enjoys accompanying Chuuya on nights out

He will devour a massive bowl of curry while drunk. He rarely eats when sober but when drunk? He’ll eat anything put in front of him

He is still pretty quick on his feet and agile but he is prone to falling over

He literally once woke up Gin because he fell over their couch when walking into their apartment and he just lay on the floor cursing out the sofa

He’ll roast the fuck out of Dazai and Atsushi while drunking and make various death threats

Aku ends up being rather protective of others while drunk and has scared of a number of creepy men making advances on uninterested women, he’s like a guard dog in that regard

He will pass out fairly quickly once he gets home, refuses to pass out anywhere other than his bed

Higuchi

As we found out in the PM Onsen CD, Higuchi cries when she’s drunk. She’ll cry over a cute puppy or cry over a mission going wrong or she’ll just cry because she got praise from Akutagawa.

She also will talk for hours on one specific topic. Either its Akutagawa or something completely random. She’ll rarely talk about her sister but when she’s drunk she’ll open up more about her and tell everyone how much she loves her sister.

She is also a lightweight and will pass out fairly quickly

She likes sweet things when drunk and will eat something sweet that’s near her.

She also has to hold Akutagawa back from fighting people or prevent him from getting punched because his no filter talk insulted the wrong person

She isn’t an aggressive drunk but an emotional one.

Gin

Gin isn’t a big talker, but she’ll talk more if she is drunk drunk and comfortable enough with the people she is drinking with

She will laugh a lot while drunk and smile but it's hard to tell with her mask on

Gin as we all know is insanely fast and agile but when she’s drunk? All her agility goes out the window and she will face plant the floor if she tries any of her tricks.

I think she has a sweet tooth, so I can see her enjoying mochi ice cream while drunk

She also would love to watch people do karaoke, she won't participate since she’s too shy but seeing Chuuya and everyone else do it makes her laugh so hard her sides hurt

She lets out her more soft side and tries to pet all animals she sees

She once stole a duck and brought it home, Akutagawa wasn’t happy

Atsushi

He will be a mess

100% a giggly drunk, he’ll find everything funny, even Kunkida’s dad jokes.

He’ll accidently activate his ability and be walking around with a tail and not even notice it.

Speaking of his tail, when drunk he likes to chase it as he gives into his more cat like tendencies, Dazai has a video of Atsushi chasing his tail for a good 20 minutes

This boy will devour an entire restaurants worth of chazuke, if he could while drunk

He likes to climb trees and he’s good at it, Kunida once found him at the top of a tree curled up asleep

He’s also more blunt and will roast the fuck out of Akutagawa

He also roasts Dazai a little bit but not as much as Akutagawa

He likes to transform into is tiger form and nap when drunk

He’d probably curse and then say fuck because he cursed and then just spiral into a stream of fucks

He will try catch cats to cuddle, he once followed a cat two blocks just to pet him

I imagine him enjoying amusement parks so he’d go to once while drunk and have the time of his life until he got nauseous on the rides

I also imagine he like play video games so when drunk he’ll do that and have the time of his life

Suddenly sweet baby atsushi is cursing and swearing like a sailor

He’ll pass out pretty quick and once he’s passed out, he’s out like a light for the rest of the evening.

Junchiro

He likes his alcohol delivered in baked goods

He will try drunk bake/cook

He will pass out quickly and just cuddle his own sweater

He tries to flirt with women but naomi does not like it

My man will be shirtless trying to make a souffle at 2am

This was so fun to write, I’m sorry it took so long but I hope you enjoy this crack <3

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kishimoto-did-us-dirty · 4 years

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Naruto Characters and Quarantine (Part 1)

Naruto characters x reader during quarantine

warnings: none

rating: K+

includes: konoha 12, sand siblings

Authors Notes: These are centered on the idea that the two of you are adults who don’t live or work together.

part 2, mayhaps?? anyone want that?? 👀

Anywho, enjoyyyy~

also, remember, these guys are shinobi. they gotta stay healthy, which is what I kept in mind when writing a lot of these.

Naruto

- totally ignores social distancing rules to come and see you

- he just has to, he doesn’t know what he would do if he didn’t :( probably die of y/n-deprivation

- this boy will not care at all about social distancing if none of you or any of your loved ones are at greater risk

- will sneak into your apartment and spends nights cuddling with you to get through his restlessness of not being able to go outside as much

- will bring you food and do your grocery shopping for you 100% if you or those around you are at a higher risk and can’t do it yourself

- just don’t expect your groceries to be 100% what you asked for

- “How was I supposed to know that Nesquik doesn’t count as a seasoning!?”

Sasuke

- non-massacre au

- another rule breaker

- just to a lesser degree

- he’s definitely gonna come see you whenever he wants, he just won’t do as much touching

- like, if you two are watching a movie together, you’re sitting on opposite sides of the sofa

- which honestly he was fine with at first, but then he realized he’s a little something called.... ✨touch starved✨

- and is now having a hard time not touching you as much as he wants

- he gradually gets more touchy overtime but still always insists on sanitizing afterwards

- he still won’t do more than a peck tho. he would absolutely hate it if you got sick bc of him.

- he also brought you a shit ton of toilet paper at the beginning of quarantine because he was worried you wouldn’t have any and it was the last batch he saw

- it’s his form of romance

Sakura

- at first she was totally all for the rules

- you two kept six feet apart with masks on at all times

- but very gradually and unconsciously... that changed lol

- she started to completely forget about the rules as it went on and would just randomly grab your arm or hug you out of excitement without even realizing it

- eventually she resorts to touching but with very strong precautions

- you both will sanitize, brush your teeth, wipe down areas, etc. as soon as you’re done hanging out

Shikamaru

- 50/50 with him

- he doesn’t care so much so as to stop seeing you and won’t wear a mask around you

- but if you try to kiss him he goes “you know we can’t do that right now.”

- will grab your hands and play with them and everything

- and may occasionally cuddle

- but he’s not going to do it as much as usual

- you two mainly just nap together

- but now you guys are napping with a couple feet between you

- again, these guys are shinobi. they gotta stay healthy and he knows that. he can’t prioritize kissing you over being the village’s strategic backbone and he needs you to understand that, too.

Choji

- my baby boy :(

- he tries so hard

- he really does

- but he just has to be around you

- he won't risk any health precautions and will still keep distance

- but he will always find ways to spend time with you while staying six feet apart

- expect a lot of social distancing picnics and food dates

- will 1000% bring you food if you need any

- he will also gladly buy you masks, sanitizer, wipes, etc. if you need it

Ino

- Ino isn’t as frivolous as many people in the fandom depict her

- She has a good head on her shoulders

- She may be a hopeless romantic, but she isn’t stupid and knows she has a job at the hospital

- She basically just like Sakura except a little more feisty

- will yell at you if you don’t socially distance well enough

- but will also snuggle you if she knows she has some sanitizer on hand to use afterwards

- ultimately, she knows she has to prioritize your guys’ health

Kiba

- not a total rule breaker

- he’s just like a kicked puppy tbh

- will always use his nose to sniff out sickness on you when you’re not looking (you know how like some dogs can?)

- will gives you hugs and look after you

- but he, too, will keep social distancing

- I could see him just grabbing your shoulders after a distanced hang out and just gently rubbing your shoulders from an arm’s length bc he knows he can’t get any closer

- but he does break the rules sometimes

- he’s snuck in a few kisses here and there

- Akamaru always barks at him for this though

Shino

- I love him so much

- but he ain’t breaking the rules

- he’s definitely going to social distance from you, bc him getting sick means his whole colony gets sick

- and he needs to keep himself healthy

- not to mention, if you got sick?

- he can’t even stand the thought

- he’ll just watch you do your thing from a good 6-7 feet apart and hope for everything to end soom

- he also puts a bug on you without telling you that’ll track your health

- that way he knows when you’re sick or not

Hinata

- I headcanon Hinata as being a bit of a security freak tbh

- not in the sense that anything’s wrong with her

- but she has to check that the doors leading into the house are all locked before going to bed, always stocked up with medical supplies in case of emergency, having extra face masks on her just in case, etc.

- small and quiet but still very safe

- she just likes to keep her distance and maintain safety

- she lives in a compound so any spread within it will likely extend to a few other people within her clan

- so she likes to stay distant

- but she really loves social distancing dates :)

- things like picnics, outdoor movies and training sessions!

- definitely makes you a lot of food and small gifts to make up for the lack of touch

Neji

- another rule-follower

- I mean what did you expect

- he just really doesn’t want you or anyone else getting sick because of reckless actions

- will 100% sanitize everything for you before and after you use it if you guys are out in public

- he claims it’s because you just won’t do it right

- but really it’s just because he cares

- kissed you a total of 3 times and felt a little guilty after the third since it was right after he came back from a mission and he hadn’t cleaned himself off yet

Lee

- follows the rules almost too well

- makes sure that you both are six feet apart at literally all times and might as well measure as much considering how dedicated he is to it

- HE’S HELLA DRAMATIC ABOUT IT ALL THOUGH

- EACH TIME HE REALIZES HE CAN’T HUG YOU BRINGS ON A NEW WAVE OF PASSIONATE TEARS

- he just cries a lot about it and really wishes things weren’t like this

- will often go grocery shopping with you bc he buys groceries for his elderly neighbors who are at a greater risk so they don’t have to go out (awwww)

- he will get very upset when he sees people outside without masks on when it’s things like that that make the virus keep spreading and thus keeping him from you for even longer :(

Tenten

- honestly I think she’s really casual about the whole thing

- always wears and mask and sanitizes everything, yeah

- but she gives you hugs and kisses just fine

- but only in private

- and she won’t be cuddling

- she just keeps her distance but still gives affection

- the type to get angry if you aren’t being safe enough

- like if you go to a party with multiple people there?

- she’ll scold you 100%

Gaara

- Gaara would have to social distance as kazekage

- he’s not allowed to run the risk since it’s public knowledge you aren’t living together

- this makes having private moments very difficult

- and he has to set a proper example for his citizens

- it’ll also be a large political scandal only worsened by his political opposers if he were to be caught not social distancing

- also if he got sick then that would leave the village susceptible to enemies who would take advantage of his vulnerability and attack

- but you two still do things together

- water cacti, discuss political events, watch over the village, etc.

- he gave you a cute succulent to look after while he’s not there as much

Kankuro

- similar to Gaara, as his brother, it wouldn’t look very good if he was caught disobeying the rules

- he’s pretty mature about it but will have private moments with you when you’re alone

- he doesn’t care so much about keeping 6 ft apart when you two are alone

- he just won’t go overboard

- just some handholding, hand kisses, and just petting in general

- when quarantine ends though, he’s all over you omg

- you’re the first person he comes to see and will hold you so tight

Temari

- angry love

- will personally bark orders at you about proper safety precautions

- your mask never has to worry about being on improperly when temari is around

- you can see her blush underneath her mask though

- despite her tough exterior, it’s visible just how sad she is

- Temari is tough but she thrives off of being around the people she loves

- not being able to be truly with you really makes her depressed for a while

- even offered to have you moved into the kazekage family house with them so you didn’t have to socially distance at home anymore

- takes every precaution she can with herself and those around her so this can end faster and she can be with you again

THAT’S ALL! SORRY THEY LOWKEY SUCKED! MAYBE A PART 2 IF REQUESTED ENOUGH???

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46inpm · 4 years

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MLQC Housemates

When Victor, Lucien, Kiro, Gavin, Shaw, and MC are housemates

It’s been awhile since I’ve done a headcanon

Victor - Red, Lucien - Purple, Kiro - Orange (There’s not much color options), Gavin - Blue, Shaw - Green (Once again not much color options), MC (You) - Pink

Living with five guys and one girl is hard especially when they all are in love with that girl but it’s fun

They live in a mansion as they all have the money to afford it and it would give them a lot of space

Victor mainly runs the household and the others help out or they face a two hour lecture

Mainly Kiro, Shaw, or MC get the lectures

Victor has the biggest bedroom while you have the second biggest since you’re the only girl of the house

There’s a big kitchen where Victor, you, amd Kiro normally are

Victor at times wants to beat everyone’s asses out the door because they annoy him so much

“There are no Tik Toks at the table.”

*Kiro does a Tik Tok dance with his arms*

“Kiro that’s enough!”

Lucien and Victor always make passive aggressive remarks at each other that everyone thinks they’re about to throw hands

They argue about the way the other is close to you earlier, you know jealous boyfriends

Kiro tries to calm down the situation with MC or distract them which rarely works but he tries

You have to tell them to stop or say something dumb to diffuse the situation

Any meals of the day is alway hectic as you guys talk about your day, things going on in the world, dumb things you’ve done

When Victor, Kiro, or Gavin return home after so long everyone goes out to eat and celebrations always calls for a feast

Kiro has countlessly dragged you to the kitchen with Shaw tagging along in the middle of the night to get snacks but Victor catches you

“You three idiots are this close to losing your dessert privileges. Go to bed.”

“We’re sorry! Please don’t take away our pudding and cake!”

Always ends with you and Kiro hugging his feet to not do it like little kids

You buy dumb things online like children science experiments that you do with Lucien and Kiro in the kitchen then everyone joins in

Somehow with an actual scientist the 9+ age experiments turn complex due to Lucien adding new things

Gavin tends to the large garden with Lucien as they surprisingly get a long quite well

They name the decorations they put in the yard like Hoppy, Penny, Lucky because Gavin just doesn’t know what other names to call them

You’ll find Gavin cleaning them and talking to them as if they’ll listen

“Shaw’s getting on my nerves again with always getting MC in trouble. Kiro helped me pick out some outfits the other day. Lucien tells me cool stuff I never knew about. Victor’s also getting on my nerves.”

Shaw once was yelled at when Victor found out he threw a massive party with his college friends at THEIR HOUSE, the cups and trash everywhere

Victor and the others yelled at the unknown guests who were asleep in their rooms and who knows what happened on their beds

“It would be best to throw out our bed sheets and comforters or get them thoroughly cleaned. We could run the risk of getting diseases from their body fluids.”

“God knows what these drunk college kids did in our bedrooms.”

“My poor bed’s been defiled!”

Kiro and Gavin get a long really well like a Golden Retriever and a German Shepard it’s cute as they have a big bro-younger bro relation

Shaw and Gavin had to have Lucien and Victor pull them off each other because Shaw teased you and gave you dirty talk and Gavin just BAM!!

Victor needs more wine because you morons

When the remote to the main living room with the giant high quality beautiful sounding speakers tv isn’t occupied particularly everyone runs to watch their show

You always win, I guess small hands are quicker at grabbing things

If you watch tv expect the others trying to get you to lean on them then it will slowly turn to a big cuddle party with blankets and snacks

“No fair, Lucien! Why do you get to cuddle with Miss Chips! I just got home from my tour! Miss Chips, why don’t we cuddle instead?”

“In a hour or two you can have her. Haha, you’re just like a cute puppy dog.”

Victor brings either you or Kiro to help him with grocery shopping because he wants to be around you and he doesn’t trust Kiro with the task

Kiro once bought a bunch of junk food than ingredients for food

Everyone gets jealous when they see you taking a nap with one of them like NO FAIR

I can’t tell you how much these men and women would be chaotic

Shaw and Kiro are like highschool best friends well they didn’t know each tiene back then but they act like good friends who mess around and are young

“I can’t believe you’re older than me. You don’t act older or look older. So is MC and she’s running a company.”

“Thanks!”

“Wasn’t a compliment but whatever.”

You don’t have to worry about burglaries as Kiro has top quality technology around the house, Gavin works for the police, Lucien’s middle name is “I’ll-secretly-be-the-one-to-torture-the-intruder”, and Victor has money

If you told them that you felt like someone was watching you in your room, all men would freak out and come up with a plan to catch the guy

Till then you would rotate on who’s room you sleep in

Even though they fight and get on each other’s nerves A LOT they do care like a family

I mean they go on vacations and celebrate with each other

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greaterspeed · 3 years

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@heroichedgehammer asked: ⌛😵💣💩🦄 S e c r e t s

Talk About Your Muse Meme. ✪ accepting

send ⌛for a sleep headcanon

Amy, make him sleep in a bed. When Sonic does get a decent nights sleep (and not just a nap on the beach somewhere), you bet Sonic is a snorer. He already can get huffy and snort-y like hogs generally are when he’s awake, but that definitely transitions into his sleeping.

He also generally gets too warm, thanks to almost always being tropical climates, so he never sleeps with any kind of covers. Any attempt to cover him up, he’ll just kick them off.

send 😵 for a sickness headcanon

Sonic doesn’t get sick often, he’s got a pretty healthy immune system to say that he mainly consumes chilli dogs. Maybe all that spice toughened him up, who knows. He does occasionally get sick, but that’s another thing he won’t let anyone in on. It’s uncool to be all sick and drained around your friends, right? Sonic has appearances to keep up!

When he is sick is when he’s most likely to sleep more, and in Tails’ workshop where it’s a little warmer. Either that or he’ll try and run it off, pretend everything is completely fine until it goes away. Someone make this hog sit still and get him some hot lemon!

send 💣 for a stress headcanon

I said Sonic doesn’t really get stressed much in my last post, but there is another situation where he gets stressed and it’s when he’s in a confined space and can’t get out. Being free is an important thing to him, and one of the reasons he can be so laid back during otherwise stressful situations is because Sonic’s speed makes it so he can generally get himself and his friends out of these situations with room for error (that has backfired on him once or twice and when it does it effects him mentally to a degree). So when he’s confined, he’s not doing too great. His speed can’t save him, it’s completely out of his control and he can be snappy and jittery. eg. the scene where he spaces up and down in his cell in SA2, and proceeds to refer to Shadow as an ‘it’ in his frustration.

Really, he doesn’t do well in situations that are out of his control.

send 💩 for a ridiculous headcanon

Don’t say pineapples don’t belong on pizza to him, he will fight you.

send 🦄 for a physical health headcanon

You may not like it, but this is what peak hog performance looks like.

No really, he’s in tip top physical health. He did have a little bit of a pot belly when he was younger, but he lost all that baby fat when he grew into a teen. He can be a little bit lazy occasionally and neglect his daily stretches, he’s pulled a muscle boosting off without stretching more than once. Other than that, he’s all good. That Chao doctor says he’s in great condition every time he visits!

#✪ out of character.#✪ headcanons.#( nO STOP YOU'RE MAKING ME REVEAL EVERYTHING AND IM SHY )

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #357

“your magic white rabbit has left its writing on the wall / we follow like alice, and just keep diving down the hole”

Are you better at telling stories or writing them? Writing, by a long shot. What’s one song you hate, but know every word to? i'm a barbie girl in a fckn barbie woooooorld What’s your favorite magazine? I don’t read magazines. If you could be an animal for one day, which animal would you choose? Probably a house cat. Be indoors and safe, able to just nap... lol. But I'd want another cat as a friend, too! Do you prefer outdoor or indoor concerts/events? Indoors, by a mile. I get hot outside way too easily. Do you know if you were a planned child? I don't know. What’s your favorite gem? Dragon's breath opal. As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? I'd like to live in a house, especially with the pets I want. I doubt many apartment complexes would allow multiple reptiles and inverts. Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? It doesn't matter much to me, but I prefer the stem. The texture is more likeable to me. Do bats frighten you? No, I adore bats! Does Paris appeal to you? Yeah, it's a pretty place. Are you a KPOP fan? No, I've never really checked it out. How long was your longest relationship? Over three and a half years. First time you kissed the last person you kissed? We were outside roasting marshmallows one night. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Absolutely. I don't dish 'em out for nothing. Were you anyone’s first kiss? No. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states of America, what state would you WANT to be named after? I actually think "Nevada" would be kinda pretty as a name? Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, or practices of individuals or groups? I've wondered this for a long while, really. I lean towards it being a mix, maybe? But more towards universal, I think... with some exceptions. This answer is all over the place, I honestly don't know. Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? No? I think the "why not" is obvious... You just don't. What do you think is one one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teachers, garbagemen, retail and food workers... There's a lot. Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? Thank Christ no. Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? No. Have you ever had Fiji brand water? I actually don't believe I have, though it's always looked appealing to me, haha. What’s your favorite horror movie? The Crazies and the first Silent Hill, as well as both Blair Witch Projects. What was the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? I'd rather not even think about things the bitch said to me. Are you biracial? No. When was the last time you got mad and broke something? I've never broken something when mad. What color dress did you wear to prom? My first was maroon, second one was black. Who is the cutest baby you know? My friend has a daughter named Scarlett who is absolutely gorgeous. Have you ever thrown a rock at a window? No, because I respect people's fucking property. Has anyone ever thrown a rock at your window? No. Does your hair react well to dye, or does it damage it? It likes to not take dye at all. >.> I have only had one instance where a friend dyed it red and it stuck for months and months, but we kept it in for a couple hours, I think. My normal hairdresser says it's because my hair is really healthy and I guess rejects it. What kind of pet do you wish you had? I ramble plenty about how I want tarantulas and more reptiles, haha. I also DESPERATELY want to rescue or foster an opossum. When was the last time you were diagnosed with something? Are you concerned about anything regarding your physical or mental health at the moment? I haven't been diagnosed with anything in quite some time, I believe, but as I'm going through the process of being approved for TMS therapy for my depression, my bipolar diagnosis is being questioned, which is... strange to me. It's been acknowledged by many a doctor that I have bipolar 2, but if insurance recognizes my primary diagnosis as bipolar, they won't cover TMS because it can massively excite the mania portion of bipolarity, and therefore I can't do it because we can't manually afford it. I'm willing to take the risk by far, as I've never had issues with mania, but I can't without insurance. I'm just waiting to hear back from them... What is one blanket judgment you tend to make about people (like, you judge all people who live at home, all people who drink, etc)? Does this judgment come from a particular personal experience? I really don't know. How do you react to other people yelling or slamming doors? Is this something you ever do too? I get very scared if it's a man. I don't like anyone doing it, and my anxiety will spike regardless, I'm just terrified of angry men. Have you ever lost your cool at work or somewhere else important? What happened as a result? No. Who has the power to break you? Jason still might. I don't know. Is anyone in your family blind? My sister is legally blind in one eye. Do you believe in evolution? Yeah. I do find the concept odd, that ALL LIFE originated from one thing, but I sure ain't got a better explanation, so. What job do you think people should be paid the most for? Surgeons, maybe? I dunno, that's a big question. Were you ever held back a year in school? Did you ever skip a grade? No. Have you ever been given a hickey? Have you given one? Yeah to both. What is your least favourite thing about your full name? I have the most basic white bitch middle name in the world, lol. Do you like the age you are? Eh, I don't mind it much, but I think it'd be better to be in my early 20s versus mid 20s. I'm just always so tired now. I can't believe I used to refuse to go to sleep before 10:30. What’s your favourite kind of poptart? The chocolate sundae one. If you had to eat one type (Chinese, etc.) of food which would it be? American bc I'm not very adventurous with food at all. When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? *shrug* Are your fingers long, or short? Long. Mom's always said I have "piano fingers." Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who’s your buddy? Yeah, I love it, but don't play it nearly as much as I want because I don't exactly go anywhere, lol. My bud's Charmeleon, and I'm probably like five EXP from level 28. Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? I don't own either, so. Do you know how to read animals’ behavior? I honestly think I'm very good at it. Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? Yes, but not as much as I used to. All I really play nowadays is World of Warcraft. The only working console I have is a PS2, and I haven't bought a new game in probably a couple years, but there are definitely ones I want to play, mainly on PS4. Just can't afford it right now. Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope? No. Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. There's no way I could, given my tremors. Do you prefer reading books, comic books, manga/graphic novels, magazines, or the newspaper? Books. When is the last time you ate donuts? It's been months, man. I've seriously been craving a glazed one, though. Krispy Kreme sounds amaaaaaziiiiiing. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Somehow. Do you like raisins? NO NO NO NO NO. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? More than once. Do you like ants? They're genuinely extremely fascinating animals, but they're seriously annoying nevertheless. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. What was your favorite ice cream flavor when you were little? Chocolate. Is it still your favorite? Eh, depends on the day. By the way, what is your name? Brittany. What time zone do you live in? EST. Do you like cats? I love cats. What’s the most creepy experience you’ve ever had? One night when my mom and sister were at the beach for a dance competition, I was having trouble sleeping, and it only got worse when my dog Teddy started freaking the fuck out, barking loudly and staring intently at the foot of the bed. I was so scared that I tried to force his head to lie down, but he fought against me. I was terrified, but got up out of the bed and went into the living room to call my mom at like 3 in the damn morning, and she had to have our neighbor come over to sleep in the house with me (I was in a different room that night). You can't convince me that there wasn't paranormal shit going on. I think the house was haunted honestly, for multiple reasons. What’s the most boring game to exist? Why do you dislike it so much? Hm, I dunno. What’s the coolest place that you've ever been to? What’d you do there? Disney World was very memorable as a kid. We just went around collecting signatures, going on rides, all that fun stuff. I'll never forget fireworks at the castle. If you’re interested in having a long-term relationship with someone, do you think that waiting a certain amount of time before you first have sex is a good idea? Or does it not matter? I think it's a good idea, personally, mostly for the sake of reducing the spread of STDs. Just because you think you'll be long-term, doesn't mean you will be. Besides that, isn't there a science that sex and feelings of love are connected? Like, sex is impossible without at least some underlying emotions? I might be entirely wrong, in which case forgive me for spreading misinformation, but if that's so and things don't go as planned, you've gotten emotionally invested in someone too early and wind up getting hurt. You do you, I just don't think it's smart. Have you ever discovered something big by looking through someone’s phone, Facebook, email, etc.? No. Have you kept anything from your past relationships? (Things they left at your house, gifts, notes, etc) Do you think that’s a big deal for future relationships or not? Yeah, like plushies and little stuff like that. When it's tiny things like I just mentioned, I really don't think it matters. I think some things might be questionable to keep, but at the same time, I don't think it's really wrong to keep memories of a happy time, if the thing still brings you joy and has been emotionally disconnected from the ex? Idk. Do you have any financial regrets? Either way, what’s an example of a GOOD financial decision you’ve made? Going to and dropping out of college three fucking times. I don't know about a good financial decision seeing as I'm not even in charge of my own finances, nor really have any to begin with. Are you a believer in “signs” from the Universe about things in your life? If you are, can you think of a particular example? No. Name some things that one or both of your parents are really good at or really interested in. Mom LOVES medical stuff, like watching surgeries and stuff like that. She is also absolutely incredible with children. Dad likes sports a lot, hockey and football especially. Think of a good friend of the opposite sex (currently or in the past). Have you ever had any sort of “more than a friend” or sexual thoughts about them? If not, can you explain why? Well, we dated briefly, so... It was awkward to, but I let myself imagine sexual situations a few times to help myself understand if I really did like-like him, or if he was truly just a brother to me. Turns out, he's a bro. If someone told you that you would never achieve something and you ended up doing it, would you have any interest in finding that person and showing them? I'ma be honest, yes. I wouldn't actively seek them out, but rather just hope they somehow find out or I run into them or something. What is the most jealousy-induced thing you’ve ever done? Apparently, be the girl Juan liked instead of this girl that literally threatened to deck me. Guess what? We're friends now lmaoooo.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''white rabbit'' by egypt central

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haikyuuscreaming · 4 years

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omg hi! you started off your blog greatly, im so proud of you! do you think you can write an angsty scenario for akaashi? where his crush likes this guy and wants help from him and he feels all sad :( but she ends up confessing to him! i love your writing so far, keep it up!

UMM so i accidentally got really invested in this so it’s WAYY longer than a drabble and i often write long stuff bc of ao3 so this might sound a little more like that kinda fanfic style instead of a tumblr scenario? mainly cos im really a sucker for this stuff hehehe love you anon

also ! the request made it sound sort of akaashi-centric so i hope you dont mind? there will still be a lot of reader-chan here though! please dont leave yet and i hope u enjoy

again ALSO i wrote this half on my laptop half on my phone so please dont mind if it seems a lil clunky in some areas

3092 words jesus ok here you go

Crushes weren’t necessarily a new sensation for Akaashi. Just an uncommon one. In fact, the last time he remembers even being attracted to someone was in first grade when everyone had a crush on this popular girl. He’s not even sure if he really liked her, or just found the idea of it interesting.

Now, second year of high school, Akaashi finds himself in trouble. Because for once, he really, really, really likes this girl. You.

He can’t even fake himself out of this, because every damn time he looks at you, he feels all warm and tingly and his stomach feels less calm and he can hear his heart bump against his ribcage and god, his face even flushes a little bit.

(A little bit inconvenient when he accidentally finds himself staring at you and daydreaming.)

Akaashi doesn’t like this feeling.

I mean, yeah, Akaashi has somewhat of a sense of confidence in his looks, manners, and ability to make friends. He’s not exactly the top in each subject he thinks, but it lets him pass through high school without too much of a depressingly lonely life. He could easily befriend you and steal your heart, his inner ego-brat says.

But.. but what if you reject him?

He should become closer to you.

(For the record, he doesn’t not like the feeling. He kind of likes the serotonin boost you give him. But he definitely, more than kind of likes you.

A lot more.)

And one day, in the spring, he finds himself paired up with a special biology partner. With familiar, sparkling eyes and the cutest, most gorgeous voice he’s ever heard that always makes his heart fucking backflip.

Akaashi doesn’t think he can survive this.

His teacher blares, “Start brainstorming ideas for your science fair project! It’s due in a month, you know!”, but Akaashi blocks out the noise because all he can focus on is you, goddamn it. He can only focus on the way you push your hair out of your face, the way your lips upturn into the most stunning smile he’s ever had the fate of encountering, and he really hopes he doesn’t get h-

“Akaashi-kun?”

(Fuck you and your completely gorgeous voice that drives him up the wall and makes him want to kiss you.)

“Oh– sorry, yeah?” He kind of hates himself for how his voice lilted a pitch higher.

You laugh, sounding like a goddess. He hopes that it means you don’t hate him. “Ahaha, I was just wondering if you have any ideas for the science fair? It’s a pretty big chunk of our grade, and I am… not the smartest when it comes to AP Bio..”

Akaashi thinks quite the opposite, but he isn’t currently in the position to contradict you.

“Um…” He pauses and thinks furiously. He comes up with some borderline generic idea that has enough room for a unique twist. And your eyes brighten.

“Waaaoo, Akaashi-kun’s a genius, hm?”

(God, he thinks he might have a little more than a crush on that teasing grin and glittering pair of eyes.)

He musters the courage to smile without looking stupid. “Of course.”

Two weeks later, he wants to sink into a hole.

Yes, it might have been his request that you two meet up to work on the project, but that was because he knew you were a procrastinator! You would start the project the night before if he’d let you!

But it was not his idea to do it at his house.

Now he has to live with the fact that you’re lying on HIS bed, spread-eagled in your sweater and shorts, complaining about how lazy you are.

(He wonders how you’re so comfortable about wearing shorts to a male classmate’s house. You two aren’t even that close, although you claim otherwise.)

“Come on, get up,” he rolls his eyes. “We have work to do.”

“But I’m so tiiiiiredddd… and lazyyyy…. wouldn’t it be such a gentlemanly act of Akaashi-kun to do the project for me?” You flash him a sweet smile while stretching out even more on the bed.

Snorting, he watches you sink into his mattress and roll around idly. “Hey, don’t you need the grade? You can’t pass if you make me do your work.”

Sighing, you hum in defeated content. “Well, it was worth a try.” You reach out your hand and tousle his wavy hair, and he almost flinches at the touch. He hates to say it but he loves it so much that you’re so affection with him, and Akaashi knows he would give anything to keep you teasing him with all this attention.

“Yeah.. yeah, it was,” he murmurs to himself before letting himself sit down next to you. He notices how you scrunch your body from a spread-eagle to a cute, curled up position to make room for him.

“Mm, so how are we gonna do this?” you ask, with a subtle mixture of bored and curious seeping into your tone. Then, he watches your features melt into a warm, mischievous smile as you hum, “Unless you just wanna nap and cuddle or something.”

(Holy fuck.)

Akaashi forces himself to scowl playfully and he shakes his head, sighing loudly in mock disappointment. “I don’t know what to do with you.” And equally as teasing, he adds, “I should just kick you out and not treat you to lunch if you’re going to be like this.”

“Noooooo!!!” you whine in this adorably frustrated and threatening voice. “Don’t you dare starve me or I’m feeding you to the rats.”

He chuckles. “See, that’s what I thought.”

But of course, your face wraps into a devilish grin as you say in a singsong voice and throw your arms around him (which makes him flush and makes his heart go WABAM), “It doesn’t matter though, ‘cause I got this whole-ass meal right here~”

“Shut up.”

(But you both know he never means it.)

Thanks to Akaashi (and your obliging albeit lazy participation), you two blow the science fair out of the way and get an A. He’s never seen you so delighted about a grade.

“I’m so happy~” you never shut up about how grateful you are for him, not that he’s complaining. “This is probably the highest mark I’ve ever gotten in this class.”

“Don’t over exaggerate. You’re not too bad at Bio,” Akaashi remarks. “You just need a tutor, probably, if you’re struggling.”

(By the way, he is ecstatic that you two are ACTUALLY FRIENDS!!! He’s even met your dog!!)

“Hmmmm…” You eye him warily before shrugging. “Whatever you say, Akaashi-kun.” Your eyes flit around before returning on him, and you start rambling about the newest anime you’ve gotten into and how it’s practically on-par with the manga, and how hot one of their characters are-

(For some reason Akaashi really zeroes in on that part.)

He really feels like he has to contribute something to the conversation, so he puts in, “Wow, [Name]-san, you’re such a fangirl.”

You snort loudly and put two peace-signs to your face like some kawaii anime girl, doing this mock-sweet smile. “Waaaooo, you’re rightttt. I’m Akaashi-kun’s number one fan!! He’s so cute when he’s yelling at me to do my work and super hot when he helps me with homew-”

He swears to god his face is radiating an inhuman amount of heat and he rolls his eyes before shaking his head and jabbing your side lightly. “Didn’t I tell you not to say that?”

“Ummm, maybe.” Your ‘innocent’ grin tells him otherwise. “But you know, you’re right, Akaashi-kun,” you cross your arms and give your cute little smirk again. “I am a genius, and I’m suuuper good at Bio. I just need someone to channel it.” And you lean forward until both your noses are touching, and Akaashi thinks he’s about to explode. “So maybe you could help me out?”

The subtle pleading undercurrent in your voice compels Akaashi to straighten up a little bit without flushing even redder. Keep cool, keep cool.

(He prays that his skill of keeping a poker face will hide the blood rushing around in his dick.)

“Well, what time?”

This time around, he finds himself at your house instead. You both are sitting at your desk, ‘working’ on your math and Bio homework. In other words, just talking.

He’s confident now in that the two of you are close friends. He’s learned that from afar, you were a sweet and confident yet perfectly kind girl. That was the girl he based his feelings off of. During your Bio project, he found the cheeky, sly and vibrant yet chill girl who always teased him but was still nonetheless sweet.

And now, under that facade, you were an anxious mess with a shit-ton of insecurities.

(He thinks it’s funny how you boast that you’re just like Shrek. You have layers.)

Akaashi glances at you, groaning with your head down onto the table. “I hate math..” he hears you grumble.

“Hey, you’re not too bad. You just have to be careful when plugging in your equations,” he counters.

“But what if I can’t remember my equations??”

“We both know you’re fine at remembering them.”

“I’m gonna fail.”

“Have faith in yourself, because I do.” And Akaashi is being completely honest. His confidence in you being just fine and being able to pass all your classes is strong because he’s seen you work (after procrastinating). “You just have to work on not putting things off until the last minute.”

You make a frustrated noise before resting your chin on your propped hand. “Sometimes I feel like I’m just.. destined to be set back, y’know? Like, everything I do is gonna somehow backfire on me.”

He knows the feeling, especially late at night in bed, stressing over what tomorrow might bring him.

“And like… I have this whole thing set up for me. When people know me as a classmate, I’m an average student, right? Then when we’re like… ‘friends’, I’m all weird and tease-y.” You let out a loud sigh. “And to the unlucky people who get to this stage, I’m a mess.”

“Stop.” Akaashi’s surprised at how firm he is. “I’m grateful to have met you and to have become your friend, [Name]. You’re going to be fine, you need to trust yourself more. Because I trust you more than anything.”

(Yes, he is on first-name basis with you!! Yes, he trusts you even more than he might even trust Bokuto!!)

Your lips twitch into a small smile, one that he’s grown to love and adore. He’s confident that he’s so fucking deep in love and he doesn’t know how to move on. “You really think so?”

“Of course I do.” He flicks some crumpled-up post-it at you. “Since we’re not doing any homework anytime soon, what else do you want to talk about?”

Your gaze becomes a little more shy and nervous. “Umm… Weeell, I need help.”

“I mean, why else would I be here?”

“No, seriously, Keiji-kun. Seriously!!” You throw mock-fit, despite obviously looking anxious.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m listening. Sorry.”

“Uh. Um, so…” You blink and pretend to look focused on doodling on the corner of your math paper. “There’s this dude I like. Like, I reaaally like him, which is surprising even for me.” You laugh a little bit, and as Akaashi feels his heart start to tear in half, he forces out a chuckle to match. “He’s suuuper pretty– I think that’s the word for it? Pretty. And he’s kinda funny in his own way, and he’s really sweet and listens to me all the time even when I don’t deserve his time. And I dunno, I think he might like me back? Also, I really really really like him. But I don’t really know how to confess…

“Because you know, I’m kinda wack like that, haha. I’ll probably screw up the confession and make things worse, and, well, I need help.” You finish your ramble with a loud breath and you collapse your head onto the table, groaning.

“Uh–” Fuck, oh fuck him, fuck his life. “I mean… I think just a heartfelt confession would do? Something simple and sweet that says you really like him, in case somehow your words don’t work.” Akaashi feels like he’s sweating, a lot, and he feels even more frustrated than ever. His heart is crashing against his ribcage, and his mind is a fucking mess.

You frown a little bit, and suddenly a gush of words fly out of your mouth like a stream bursting from a dam. “Oh my god, what if I’m reading the signs all wrong and he doesn’t at all like me back? I mean, I wouldn’t blame him because I’m kinda ugly and have this weird personality thing going on and I’m shit at math and Bio-”

“Stop.” Akaashi forces himself to intervene, mainly because 1) you’re literally the light of his life and 2) he feels like he has to leave really soon after dealing with the news. “Shut up, [Name]. You aren’t ugly at all, and I, for one, enjoy your weird personality. And I already told you, you’re fine with academics.” He makes himself make eye contact with you, peering up from your arm covering your face, and says, “If he rejects you, he isn’t worth your time at all and you should move on.”

(Preferably with me.)

He watches you exhale, like he just unwound a tight spring from inside of you, and your shoulders relax and you melt from your anxious state, just a little bit. “You’re right. If.. if he doesn’t feel the same, I’ll just forget about him.”

“Because you’re a genius.” Akaashi tries to hype you up, but he still feels like crumbling. Falsely checking his phone, he stretches and stands up. “I have to go now, sorry. My mom asked me to pick up my little sister from tutoring.”

“Huh, already?” Confusion flits across your face, and it hurts him even more to just leave you after you confided in him, but he knows he has to leave before he says something he might regret. “Oh, okaayy.. see you tomorrow then. Thanks for helping me out.” You yawn before standing up to hug him goodbye.

“No problem.” He says it casually, but Akaashi feels his mood drop faster and lower than ever. He hugs you back, but he breaks away fast.

After leaving your house and collapsing onto his bed in his locked bedroom (with his 11-year-old sister knocking on the door and curiously asking what’s wrong), he can’t help but feel hurt that you couldn’t even tell him who your mystery crush’s name was.

A week passes by, and neither of you mention the conversation at your house. It doesn’t matter either way, since you two are still so casually best friends. At the same time, he desperately wants to push the matter just to find out who it is.

Otherwise, Akaashi has noticeably been more quiet and moody to the point that he doesn’t know how to control it. Sure, he keeps up the same as he would before your conversation, but he can’t help but feel his heart sink everytime he sees you. His mind is ecstatic every time he talks to you, while simultaneously wanting to tear itself apart.

He’s tried getting rid of feelings for you, in literally every way possible. From avoiding thinking about you (which backfired horribly because he ended up thinking more about you) to focusing on other girls (ew, none of them were even capable of creating the same effect on him as you do), he’s tried it all and it’s all failed.

Akaashi realizes his silent slump has gotten so bad to the point that Bokuto made him sit out a few practice matches in the gym just because Akaashi was nowhere near the spot that any of the team expected him to be at.

After school, he meets with you near the vending machine as always. You buy two cans of coffee, one for you and one for him.

As soon as he takes the can gratefully, you clear your throat.

“Yeah, [Name]?”

Glancing around before staring him in the eye, you start, “Keiji-kun, before you run away, I just…. I just wanted to let you know I really really really like you. Like, a lot.” You start speaking kind of fast, so Akaashi can’t process what you’re saying.

“And I mean it. Ever since the Bio project, you’ve been so nice to me and you’ve been such a great friend even though I made it hard sometimes, and along the way I just caught feelings. You honestly mean everything to me, and I appreciate you so much for everything we’ve been through. I- I think, I love you, Keiji. And I hope you accept my feelings.” You smile, almost nervously but nonetheless sincere, and Akaashi thinks he’s about to explode.

“I- I,” Fuck, oh my fucking god, he thinks to himself. He’s shaking a little bit– that’s how happy he is. “[Name], I..” God fucking damn it, he can’t even express how happy he is. He feels his cheeks blossom and he feels his lips quirk into this goofy smile.

But then he watches you shy away a little bit as you hurriedly say, “I- I mean, sorry. It’s okay if you just wanna be friends-”

“No.” Finally, Akaashi can use his mouth and then he gently takes your cheeks in his hands and closes the gap between you two, lips connecting in a display of pining and affection.

He practically melts into the kiss, he’s never been so happy. He thinks he’s actually about to implode; he’s been dreaming about kissing you like this, against your soft, plush lips. And finally he’s able to call you his, to call you the one. When the two of you finally break away for air, he’s breathing hard and his mind is a mess, which is rare considering his usual stoic state.

Akaashi has also never seen you so flustered and blushy. He murmurs into your ear as he takes your hand, “Feelings are 100% reciprocated.”

“I can tell,” you laugh breathily, and he’s so happy to hear that some of your anxiety has dissolved in that sweet kiss. He’s absolutely infatuated with you in every aspect. He leans in for a soft, quicker kiss on the lips and savors the feeling of warmth he gets. “Dork.”, he whispers.

“Only for you.”

#akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi keiji #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu scenarios #holy shit this is long #this wasnt supposed to happen

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buttered-ghost-toast · 4 years

Note

Listen, if you don't fill out all of those numbers and tell me everything about your MC I'm going to feel robbed

Oh geez, fam! ...aight. That took me a minute. But below you will find out more about my girl, Niri!

1. What is their favourite food?—

Cheeseburgers and carrots.

2. Do they have a fear of an animal? If so, what animal? –

Not a fan of snakes, lizards, frogs, sharks.

3. What do they wear to bed? –

Shorts and a t-shirt. Sometimes nothing at all!! That had to stop when she moved into the HoL though. Brothers poppin’ in at all hours gettin’ an eyeful. Lucifer was upset.

4. Do they like cuddling?—

1000000000%. Niri’s a big ol’ cuddle bug. Asmo’s all about it. So is Beel.

5. Do they have a secret handshake with anyone? -- With Astaroth. It’s quite elaborate and they only ever do it when they decide to get up to trouble.

6. What do they look like? –

She cute if I may say so myselffff (don’t judge me, she’s a self insert hah!) Mid to slightly above average height for a human female, fairly toned. Brown eyes, mid-back length hair that’s brown at the root, fades to a teal and purple under layers. Sometimes her hair will fade to a light yellowy-green. She has the hookup for dye from Barbatos who likes to procure things for her from the human realm. She also has quite a few tattoos.

7. Do they like chocolate? –

Only dark. She’s allergic to additives in certain milk chocolates so she doesn’t eat it much.

8. What are their good and bad traits?

Good: Helpful, kind, encouraging, quite a hard worker in any task given her.

Bad: Easily swept up into trouble by others, will prioritize naps over other stuff sometimes, awfully flirtatious which gets her in hot water with Lucifer because apparently lesser demons keep poppin’ by the house with gifts also HUMAN, DID YOU REALLY JUST SAY THAT TO LORD DIAVOLO?! Oopsssssss~ Also, you know how Luci’s always doing the “MAAAAMMMOOOONNNNN…”…yeah, that’s almost always followed by “NIIIIIRIIIIIIIIII….”

9. Do they have any artistic talent?

Yes. She’s a musician so there’s that…and she likes to paint.

10. What is their favourite room to be in, in the house they live in?

She likes the music room since the boys tend to spend quite a bit of time in there together, but she’s usually found in the kitchen making loads of food and baked goods…also, that’s where you’re more likely to find Beel, and she reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally likes Beel.

11. Do they believe in luck?

To an extent. She believes that luck exists, but she thinks relying on it is a bit naïve.

12. Can they do magic?

Like pull a rabbit out of a hat type thing? Yes. She picked up a few little tricks here and there from a friend who loves show magic. Def not the real stuff though.

13. Do they believe in dragons?

She didn’t until she went to the Devildom. Not that they just have dragons hangin’ out all willy-nilly, but she’s heard stories from the brothers and others about dragons.

14. What is a pet peeve of theirs?

Rudeness and liars who don’t give up even after they’ve been caught in the lie. Also people who demand things of others as if they’re property and not living beings with feelings …this isn’t about Belphegor at all. Nope. She doesn’t have issues with him still.

15. What was the last thing they cried about?

She was able to talk to all her bandmates at once for her weekly call home. They all just really miss each other, ok? It sucks that she has to lie to them about where she is because she knows they’re worried about her, but it was just nice to hear their voices.

16. What is their sexuality?

Pan.

17. Do they have a best friend? If so, who, and what makes them their best friend?

We’ll narrow this down to the Devildom. Niri gets along with everyone and literally loves all the beings she’s met and knows she could count on them for most anything, but there’s definitely a more solid feeling to her connection with Beelzebub. They sort of just get to be vulnerable and entirely open with one another and there is never judgement or ill will, even when Beel eats her secret snack stash…again.

She’s kind of getting to that point with Astaroth as well, but she can sense he’s still a little guarded in certain aspects, and she’s not going to push.

18. Have they ever been in a romantic relationship?

Yes, quite a few. It’s not her favorite thing to talk about since she’s been quite unlucky in that aspect, but hey, the past is the past.

19. What does their relationship with their family look like? Are they close? Distant? Ect.

Her actual family family (with the exception of her brother) are not close in the least. They’re sort of barely on speaking terms. Her chosen family (comprised of her band and some of the closest staff) is extremely close.

20. Do they have a pet?

No. She loves animals and had a dog up until recently, but they passed. It’s okay though, they had a good long life and it wasn’t painful for them when it happened.

21. Do they have a familiar?

Nope. Non-magical.

22. Are they a supernatural being?

Nope! “Boring” human, but she does seem to always find herself in weird situations that are sorta paranormal.

23. How do they usually wear their hair?

It really just depends on the day. If she had time to work on it, it’s down and straight. If it’s a rush in the morning (read: fight for the bathroom because Beel won’t MOVE) she’ll toss it in a bun or ponytail depending on how hot it is outside. There are the odd days when she’ll just let it vibe in its natural wavy/curly state, but she kind of got fed up with the brothers calling her a sheep because it’s so fluffy.

24. Can they play an instrument? If so, what instrument and what can they play?

Yes! She learned guitar and bass at a young age and was tinkering with drums before she was whisked away to the Devildom.

25. What type a high schooler are/were they?

She was the quiet weird kid that didn’t quite fit in with the weird weird crowd, but also wasn’t popular. Plenty of people knew her or of her, but she mainly stuck with her group of friends and was nice to everyone.

26. Have they ever been in a physical fight before? If so, with who? Who won?

Yes. Just small bits of violence. No one of import, tbh. But there was that one time they all went out to party at the fall and Mammon and Levi started teasing her and in her drunken state, Niri went to punch Mammon who managed to duck so she hit Levi square in the nose. He was fiiiiiiine.

27. What is their favourite holiday?

Halloween because it’s fun, Christmas because of the togetherness, and EASTER BECAUSE MARSHMALLOW PEEPS!

28. If they could have one wish, what would they wish for?

A pass to go from the Devildom to the Human realm and back whenever she wants forever.

29. Do they wants kids? If they already have kids, do they want more?

No. Never.

30. Do they have a job?

Yes? Being a singer in a band is a job, right? It doesn’t always feel like a job because it’s awesome, but it’s a job.

31. Do they know how to drive?

Yes. She has convinced Mammon to let her drive his car on a few occasions and every time they get back he swears NEVER AGAIN. She a little speed demon.

32. Do they get stressed out easily?

Funny story, actually…YES. But she is pretty good at not letting it show. So on the outside she’s like la-la-la~ but inside it’s all AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~

33. Did they ever dye their hair before? If so, to what colour? Did they like it?

Absolutely lol. Niri has gone through a few colors in her life, but her favorite is and always will be the teal. (Fun fact: the purple came from a happy accident a few years back when she dyed over a pink shade and a layer turned out purple. She liked it so now she does it that way on purpose.)

34. Have they ever broken the law?

Never anything egregious, but she’s gotten tickets for stuff in the human world. Disturbing the peace, speeding, she was fined once (along with her bandmates) for a surprise free show they did in front of a train station which got a lot more attention than they were expecting and wound up shutting down a couple city blocks. Oooooooooopsss~

35. Do they own a plant?

She’s really bad with plants. REALLY bad. She was gifted a plant by Simeon a couple weeks into the exchange program and it took an embarrassingly long time for her to notice it was a fake plant…since he knows she sucks at keeping things alive.

36. Have they ever rode a horse before?

Once, and it was a terrifying experience so she just keeps her distance now.

37. What is their favorite gif?

anything featuring Titus Andromedon.

38. Do they get along with others easily?

She tries to. It’s not always possible, but she tries, dammit!

39. Do they have any tattoos?

Several, yes. One arm sleeve done, starting the other arm, both thighs have massive pieces on them and both ribs done as well. There are also a few small things on her fingers and back.

40. If I wanted to draw them, what would be distinct physical features that I would have to know to draw them correctly?

Lotta hair. Looooooottttta hair. And heavily winged eyeliner. Big lashes.

41. What is their favourite breed of dog?

Huskies. They’re just so cute and sassy! And perfectly sized!! Great cuddle buddies and fun to run with!

42. Do they live with anyone? If so, who?

Not in the human world, but she’s got 7 kinda irritating roomies in the Devildom!

43. Where is their dream vacation?

She’s traveled extensively, so there isn’t anywhere she dreams of going that she hasn’t already seen. Her favorite place is anywhere mountainous and lush.

44. Do they know more than one language?

Yep. Niri’s a language nerd. Because she likes to speak to fans and stuff, she has set it on herself to learn as many languages as she can. She’s not perfectly fluent in all of them, but it’s a good handful that she can hold a full conversation in. She and Satan like to practice with one another around the house, despite complaints from the others.

45. Are they a quick learner?

Depends. Most things, yes…..math and processes requiring math, NO.

46. Have they ever won a contest before? If so, what for? What did they win?

No, she’s not really the luck having type.

47. If the world were to end in 24 hours, where would they be and who would they be with?

Probably hugging Beel. They hug often. They’re kinda always together. It’s gross according to Leviathan and Belphegor.

48. What does their room look like?

She didn’t change much in the room she was given at the HoL. Just added her fake plant from Simeon and a few human things…she actually got the “Hang in There” kitty poster just for kicks. Lucifer hates it.

49. If they could have an extinct animal for a pet, what would they have?

A dodo bird. Because they’re weird and cool.

50. If they got called out by someone, what would they do?

Laugh and argue probably. Depends what they’re calling her out on.

51. Have they ever shot a gun before?

Yep. Actually enjoys shooting, it’s a fun stress reliever. She makes a point to drop by shooting ranges every once in a while back home.

52. Have they ever been axe throwing?

Once at a renaissance festival on an odd week of downtime. She didn’t do so well. The throwing was fine, but she never hit the target. Just be glad she didn’t hit a person either!

53. What is something that they want but can’t have?

At the moment, all the people she loves in one place.

54. Do they know how to fish?

Nope! She’s a mess with that kind of thing. Also, she doesn’t like the idea of fishing for anything herself. It makes her cry to think of the fish on the hook :<.

55. What is something they always wanted to do but too scared?

Hmm…Niri tries to live her life in a way that she won’t have regrets, so even if something is scary, she’ll pluck up the courage to do it. But…she still hasn’t jumped out of a plane.

56. Do they own their own baby pictures?

Absolutely not. She cringes thinking of the outfits her parents used to put her in, so she did her best to keep those kinds of things buried and acts like they never existed. Nope. Was never a baby. Nope.

57. What makes them standout among others?

Niri is a pro at pretending she’s confident, so she tends to draw attention when she walks in a room like she owns the place. Also her hair is kinda bright.

58. Do they like to show off?

Not really. She’s flamboyant in a sense, but she doesn’t go out of her way to call attention or to be center stage…heh.

59. What is their favourite song?

She can never pick, honestly. There are so many songs that are so amazing!

60. What would be their dream vehicle?

That’s a very good question. Probably something sitting in her garage back home. Probably being driven by one of her bandmates. Because hey, what are friends for?

61. What is their favourite book?

Not that she isn’t a big reader, but she doesn’t really get the time to enjoy books. There’s always something that needs attention or someplace to be and she’s required to engage, so focusing on a book or story is hard, but she’s a fan of classic novels, poetry, and Greek tragedies are always good!

62. Who, in their opinion, makes the best food?

She likes everything Barbatos makes and thinks Luke’s desserts are fantastic, but there’s something about a human recipe that just warms her heart, so…..herself. Lol.

63. Are they approachable?

Absolutely! If you can get past her intimidating resting face.

64. Did they ever change their appearance?

Not drastically, but she has gone through a few different phases until settling on a good one.

65. What makes them smile?

The silliness of those around her. Thinking of good memories with family/friends. Puppies.

66. Do they like glowsticks?

Yes. She has a stockpile of glowsticks that the brothers keep adding to.

67. What is something that is simple, but always makes them smile?

Watching the brothers bicker, even if it’s getting out of hand. It reminds her of her friends and how they always pick on one another.

68. Are they a day or night person?

Night, usually. Not that she dislikes the daytime, but day usually has so much stuff to be done whereas night is the fun stuff that doesn’t need a schedule.

69. Are they allergic to anything?

Some milk chocolate, bell peppers, and certain devildom plants.

70. What do you, the creator of this OC, like most about them?

She’s a spunky little thing who loves to have fun and make others smile above all else.

71. Who is their ride or die?

In the Devildom, Beelzebub and Astaroth.

Beel for most things, and Asta for the stuff Beel won’t do.

72. Do they currently have a significant other? If not, are they going to get one later one?

Erm…eh…look, it’s never been officially labeled or anything, ok? Like yeah they’re kind always together and have pet names for each other and like always touch and cuddle and like snuggle up in bed together and stuffffffffffff but like, idk? Is Beel her dude? Like….do we wanna even get into that?????? I mean, maybe someday? Like…what? What was the question??

73. What attracts them to another person?

A genuine heart, a killer smile, and a rockin’ bod. Yeah okay look everyone can be a little shallow sometimes okay get off her case >__<.

74. Who is one person that can always make them laugh?

She’s a damn fool and will laugh at ANYTHING, so it’s not hard. Everyone makes her laugh. The girl will 9 times out of 10 laugh at herself for the dumbest moments.

75. Have they ever partied too hard and their friends had to take them home?

Oh yes many times. Many many times. One of the first few times she hung out (went on a date) one-on-one with Beel they had a drinking contest and as it turns out, he can really hold his devil liquor.

76. Who would be their cuddle buddy?

She’ll cuddle up to Beel 99.9% of the time because he’s big and warm and always happy to hold, but she also really enjoys cuddling with Asmodeus. He’s such a sweetie and he smells so nice and they just snuggle and talk and laugh and it’s a nice escape. (Loads of times there are Asmo x Niri x Asta sandwiches in Asmo’s room.)

77. Who would cheer them up after a long day?

She tends to go to one of the brothers depending on what kind of day it’s been. Most of the time it’s gonna be Beel because again, big/warm/happy to hold her, but there are occasions where she’ll drag Beel to one of the others’ rooms and they’ll just hang out.

78. If they had a nightmare, who would they run to?

I mean…Beel. Lol. He’s right there.

79. What object to the care for the most?

She has a picture of her friends from back home that sits on her desk. She treasures that above all while she’s down in the Devildom.

80. Do they like other people’s children?

Sure. Kids are fine as long as they go back to their parents after a bit.

81. How would they react if someone broke into their home?

Seeing as there’s always someone coming into her room regardless if she’s there or not, she probably would just shrug it off. If someone decided to have a bad lapse in judgement and break into the HoL? She wouldn’t have to lift a finger.

82. Does anyone make them have butterflies in their stomach?

I mean….Beel. Lol. He so big and cute! Also Diavolo because he also big and cute.

83. What is something that they are good at?

Crying to get out of trouble. She’s a little shit. Lol.

84. What is their neutral expression?

Niri kinda always looks pissed off or uninterested? Until she smiles and you realize oh, she’s just a big ol’ faker.

85. Do they like to cook?

Yes. It’s one of her very favorite things to do!

86. What is something they can’t leave home without?

Her phone! (and Beel) but like, there’s just so much a phone can do!

87. Who is someone that they rely on?

Have I mentioned ever that Simeon is (or was at one time) Niri’s guardian angel? He seems to always be there and ready to help in any way, so she’s pretty reliant on him and hopes he feels the same toward her. (He does. Cue uwu’s)

88. Do they liked to be tickled?

Absolutely not. She’s extremely ticklish and hates being tickled. She flails and cries.

89. Have they ever been a sword fight before?

No. No she has not lol. Unless empty wrapping paper tubes count? She’s done that.

90. What is a joke that they would find funny?

All the bad ones. All of them. Ugly laugh here we go!

91. Do they have a place that can go and turn off their brain?

The gardens at RAD. It’s peaceful and there’s a great view of the sky.

92. What was their childhood like?

Not bad, but not memorable. There was a lot of pressure put on her to be a perfect kid, and she didn’t get to have a whole ton of fun.

93. What are they like as an adult?

Responsible, but definitely fun-loving. Like I mentioned before, she likes to live in a way that she won’t ever regret not having done something she wanted to do, or regret any actions she took, so she’s always got an open mind and welcomes new experiences. She’s a big ol’ kid.

94. Do they take criticism well?

Yes. She welcomes criticism in any form as she is always looking to be the best person she can be.

95. Have they ever jumped out of a plane?

No. Not yet!

96. Who do they like to make jokes with?

Literally anyone. A total joker. Big big clown.

97. Have you ever drawn them before? If you are comfortable with it, would you post a picture?

Yes! I draw Niri every once in a while. I actually need to draw her again soon! I miss that girl.

#asks for Butter #get to know Niri

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impossible-rat-babies · 4 years

Note

Pollux with the RO of your choice because theres two versions of Pollux jfjasfja!!

XD lori I regret to tell you but there are three versions of pollux floatin around in my brain juice 24/7

But! i’ll do pollux and mason. bc you know. love em

General:

How long will they last? - as long as they’ll tolerate each other jk jk probably for as long as they can? I dunno it’s funky considering pollux is human and mason is like an immortal vampire

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - not all that quickly? like i think even book two, a few months after they’ve met, it’s still really up in the air how they feel about each other. pollux knows he’s got something something more l*ve feelings, but he’s not acknowledging them at all. mmm maybe a bit.

How was their first kiss? - it was unceremonious and not long before they. you know. for the first time with each other. neither of them are romantic enough to put stock in the importance of that “first kiss”

Wedding:

Who proposed? - neither? or pollux just half assed asked mason “hey would you like to get married” one time when they were laying in bed

Who is the best man/men? - (s)nate

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - ava n farrah bc farrah wasn’t going to pass up the chance to be a brides maid what the fjuck.

Who did the most planning? - neither of them. pollux had things he wanted and mason went along with what he wanted

Who stressed the most? - pollux, but only like. mildly stressed.

How fancy was the ceremony? -

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - I dunno, but pollux wishes that his dad would’ve been able to be there. he does let rebecca walk him down the aisle and she’s like “i s2g im not crying leave me alone.”

Sex:

Who is on top? - ehhh depends on how they’re feeling, but 70/30 it’s mason

Who is the one to instigate things? - mason 9/10

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - ehhh depends on how much they wanna like. spend time doing things. sometimes it’s twenty minutes, other times it’s an hour

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - they both have fun, that’s what it all comes down to *wink wink nudge nudge*

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - one, maybe two? it’d be a complicated time for pollux to have kids + it’d be an sorta half planned kiddo. tbh any kiddos they would have would end up being raised by UB as much as them

How many children will they adopt? - none

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - pollux

Who is the stricter parent? - pollux, but only marginally. they’d be interesting parents to say the least.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - neither? i dunno, ava would be the one who would stop them from doing stupid stuff.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - mason

Who is the more loved parent? - neither? mason would be the parent they’d go to to get away with doing supposedly bad things

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - rebecca

Who cried the most at graduation? - neither

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - oh the both of them for sure

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - pollux

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - mason, but he doesn’t eat much/if at all so his choice in food is moot

Who does the grocery shopping? - both! pollux drags mason along with him not to help, but to spend time together

How often do they bake desserts? - pollux bakes almost every other day, so there’s always assorted baked good and deserts around

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - pollux has a balanced diet.....some of the time. he still struggles with having good eating habits which mason will pester him about at times

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - mason

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - pollux

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - neither? pollux by virtue of how he actually cooks

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - mason

Who is really against chores? - mason

Who cleans up after the pets? - pollux

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - .......pollux

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - pollux, mainly bc he got that whole “anxiety over having company over” thing

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - mason

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - pollux

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - both! they like going out to the middle of nowhere nature trails

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - pollux has a few wreaths, but beyond that they don’t decorate much.

What are their goals for the relationship? - pollux wants something that is more than just sleeping together and having fun. he’s old enough and been through enough with different relationships, from bobby to [redacted], and he’s more into having the complicated bits. maybe later on it’s just being happy with each other and enjoying the time they have--being a couple in love.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - pollux. he’s an insomniac and struggles with night terrors and ptsd, so he sleeps when he can. he’s most definitely slept most of the day away at the warehouse between taking naps and the like. he spent a good week and a half at the warehouse because he was just stuck between insomnia and terrible night terrors that he didn’t feel safe, so he just. lived at the warehouse for a week.

Who plays the most pranks? - pollux! mason pays it back in full though

#oc tag #ask meme #oc talk: pollux twc #thank you lori!!#there's og fhr pollux and then whc pollux #and lastly mindblind pollux!#dorkousloris

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bandzrus · 5 years

Text

The No Fun Tour (Part 3)

The Dirt!Tommy Lee x Reader

Masterlist

SUMMARY // You’ve been working as a roadie for Motley Crue for a number of years because of your interest in the music business and family connections with Doc. The boys are touring with Ozzy and things are looking promising for them, but they’re under strict orders to keep the shenanigans down or else their deal with Elektra Records in jeopardy. After Doc assigned you to watch Tommy for a night and you woke up wrapped in his arms, you’re starting to realize you have more feelings for the drummer than you thought. You and Tommy have been spending a lot more time together under the guise of babysitting, but things are starting to get more serious.

NOTE // I love how this was supposed to be a one-shot and now it’s turning into a whole damn series lol. Hopefully part 3 doesn’t disappoint! Also, it is 1:40am and I feel like I could pass out. Worth it though.

WORDS // 4918

TAGLIST // @mainly-me @shamelessobsessions @broken-pieces @calspixie @shouttatthedevill @cigarettes-after-sexxx @thatbandchick39 @buckyofthemyscira @countrygirlswonderland @kawennote09 @tommyfuckinlee @miserablecunt @madsthegroupie @everygoodusernameistaken16 @brooklyn-antiques @queens-rose-garden @fandomshit6000 @stevenandsam @ladycrow666 @sandy-anakin @tamedhearts @cosmicsskies @repostfanfics @bella-0104-123 @livingforrt

***

“I think I love you.”

That’s what Tommy had said right before the two of you fell asleep together again. You kept replaying it over and over again in your mind, and the more you thought about it the more you wanted to say it back. But you couldn’t. If Doc or anyone else found out what was going on, you’d be fired on the spot. You’d have to kiss your job goodbye and become one of the many, many women rolling through Motley Crue’s lives. Which you really didn’t want. So before the drummer woke up the next morning you snuck back to your room, quietly slipping your jacket and shoes back on and stealing across the hall.

You knew you wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep despite how messed up your schedule was from touring with the boys all the time, so you got in the shower and left the water cold. You thought the icy water would turn your thoughts away from Tommy, but it didn’t. It just made you want to get out and go back over to his bed where it was warm. Stepping out of the shower, you wrapped one towel around your hair and the other you used to dry your body off. You frowned as you looked at yourself in the mirror. Tommy had been drunk off his ass last night, but it was obvious he meant what he said about you. The question was did he remember saying it? You knew there was only one way to find out, so you quickly dried off and put fresh clothes on before running a brush through your hair and reapplying your makeup. Once you were satisfied with your appearance, you called the desk downstairs.

“Hey, I was wondering if I can get some eggs n’ bacon, and some oatmeal sent up to my room?”

“For sure, is there anything else you’d like?”

“That’s all thanks,” you said before hanging up. Laying the menu back down on the nightstand, you nicked a few of the soaps and shampoos from the bathroom and repacked your single suitcase. It was always handy to have extra soap and shampoo on the bus in case one of the boys threw up in their hair, or on each other. You’d helped Mick wash Vince’s barf out of his hair in the sink once before, and you’d last count of how many times you’d used a soapy rag to wipe who knows what off the other boys. And even though that was super gross, you wouldn’t trade those memories for anything. Which was why you and Tommy would just have to keep pretending nothing was going on.

As you zipped up your suitcase, the phone rang.

“Hello?” you answered, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Y/N, you checked on the boys last night, right?”

It was Doc.

“Yeah, they were all in their rooms,” you answered.

“They’re still in there?”

“As far as I know, yes. Vince has a few extra guests and I sent Nikki back to his room after I visited Tommy’s. I don’t think any of them are awake yet, it’s really early for them.”

“I’ll send Harry and Dom up to double-check. I found out last night that we’re still in the negatives and if they cause any more trouble on this tour were in serious trouble,” Doc told you.

“I’ll check on Nikki and Tommy,” you offered. “They were pretty wasted last night.”

“Thanks Y/N. If Nikki is up can you tell him to meet me in my room? I’ve got some business to discuss.”

“Sure thing, boss.”

With that, Doc hung up and you let out a breath. You’d check Nikki’s room first, then Tommy’s. Quietly, you knocked on the bass player’s door. Nothing. Using the extra room key that Doc left you in charge of, you opened the door. It was dark inside, but you could make out empty bottles littering the room, Nikki’s bass, and what looked like a half-finished line of cocaine on the nightstand. Nikki was passed out on the bed, facedown. Tip-toeing across the room, you first made sure he was still breathing okay, then rolled him gently onto his side just in case he threw up. He only had a single boot on, so you pulled it off and threw a blanket over him before you quietly closed the door behind you. He wasn’t going to wake up for at least three or four more hours.

Just as you were about to unlock Tommy’s door, the room service came by.

“Oh, those are for me,” you said, thanking the hotel staff. Unlocking the door, you wheeled the cart inside. It wasn’t nearly as dark in Tommy’s room, since he and Nikki had never fully drawn the curtains last night. The drummer was exactly where you’d left him, curled up on the bed half-naked. He really looked cute when he was asleep. So much more peaceful. You almost didn’t want to wake him up, but you were dying to know if he remembered anything from last night. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you carefully shook his shoulder.

“Hey,” you greeted softly. His dark hair was all tangled from last night’s escapades. Using your fingers, you gently started working out the mats. He didn’t smell like alcohol much anymore, just Tommy-smell, which you decided was your favourite. Brushing a lock of hair out of his face, you watched his eyes fluttered open.

“Y/N,” he muttered sleepily.

“Morning Tommy.”

“What time is it?”

“Bit after eleven,” you answered.

“It’s so fuckin’ early,” he moaned, burying his face in his pillow.

“I know, but I brought you breakfast. And painkillers.”

You reached into your pocket and held out a couple of pills to the drummer. With a long sigh, he rolled over and propped himself up on one elbow, using his free hand to take the painkillers out of yours and pop them into his mouth. Grabbing the plate of eggs and glass of water, you gave the glass to Tommy and left the plate next to him on the sheets. Shimmying up onto the bed and crossing your legs, you ate a spoonful of oatmeal.

“Eggs?”

“And bacon,” you pointed with your spoon.

“Is Gilligan’s Island on?”

“I doubt it, but I can turn the TV on if you want.”

“Sure.”

Spooning more oatmeal into your mouth, you got off the bed and turned the TV on. It didn’t look like anything more interesting than the morning news was airing, but Tommy didn’t seem to care. Oatmeal in one hand, you shook off your boots and clambered back onto the bed next to the drummer who was picking at his eggs absently.

“My head hurts,” he whined, dropping his fork and pouting up at you.

“That’s what happens when you get shitfaced,” you smiled back at him matter-of-factly.

“Is there anything left in the fridge?”

“You have a few sips left of vodka from last night.”

With a groan, Tommy rolled out of bed and trudged to the mini-fridge. Opening and closing it, he tipped the remainder of the bottle down his throat and sighed.

“Is that your home-made hangover cure?” you asked cheekily. He narrowed his eyes at you while wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Fuck off.”

You just laughed and ate another spoonful of your oatmeal.

“Finish your damn eggs,” you said. Making a face but doing as he was told, Tommy leaned against the headboard and finished his breakfast, zoning out to the TV. You shimmied up to the head of the bed too, oatmeal in hand. Taking another bite, you let yourself relax your shoulder against his. Sitting in silence. Watching the morning news. It was weird, but you liked it. Usually your morning consisted of cleaning up whatever mess the boys had made while they were still asleep, then hauling their asses out of bed and getting them back on the bus or to whatever interview they had to be at before the show. But since the ‘No Fun Tour’ as Motley Crue liked to call it had started, your routine had been different. Good different. But now that you had finished your oatmeal, it was time to take the plunge and see if Tommy remembered anything from last night.

“Do you remember singing Elvis last night?” you asked.

“Mmm yeah I think so.”

“Nikki wanted you to do your version of Hound Dog for me.”

“Oh yeaaahhh. Didn’t I have a tie around my head or something?”

His hand went to his forehead, searching for it. You just chuckled.

“Yes you did, but I took it off while you were puking so you wouldn’t strangle yourself with it later,” you answered. “I think I left it in the bathroom. Where’d you even get it?”

“I think Nikki stole it from Doc’s room.”

“That sounds right,” you laughed lightly. “Do you remember anything else?”

“Why, what did I do?”

“Nothing… after you finished puking I made sure you got to bed and then I left,” you lied. He didn’t remember anything after puking. Part of you was sad, the other part let out a sigh of relief. If Tommy didn’t remember confessing his feelings to you, you could keep pretending you didn’t know and things would carry on as normal.

“You okay?” Tommy asked. You realized you were making a face and quickly wiped your expression.

“Yeah, just tired. You guys keep me up so late all the time.”

“If you want you can take a nap,” Tommy suggested, patting his pillow. “I don’t think we have an interview until 3pm.”

You sighed. You wanted nothing more than to curl back up next to Tommy and go to sleep. But you couldn’t. There was probably stuff Doc wanted you to do.

“Nah, I’ll be fine – this isn’t my first rodeo.”

“If you say so.”

“I’ve got stuff to do, like getting you dressed. How many days in a row have you been wearing those same leather pants?” you laughed.

“Uhhhh…”

“That’s what I thought! Maybe actually unpack your suitcase for once and change into something else.”

“Fine,” grumbled Tommy, throwing his legs off the bed and getting up. Sticking his tongue out at you, he peeled off his pants and chucked them across the room. Dressed only in boxers and mismatched socks, it was pretty hard to wipe the smile off your face. Or stop staring. You loved seeing all his tattoos and there were many times you’d stopped yourself from tracing soft fingers over them. Leaning over his suitcase, Tommy started pulling things out and muttering to himself.

“Leather pants, leather pants, black t-shirt, leather pants, another black t-shirt, oh look a black tank, more leather pants, jeans, yet another black t-shirt, I think these are underwear… How does leather pants and a black t-shirt sound?”

He held up the two articles of clothing for you to approve.

“Very you,” you answered.

“’S that good or bad?”

“It’s good.”

Pulling on the pants first, you reveled in his shirtless-ness for a bit. You’d seen all of the boys shirtless, pantsless, buck-ass nude a hundred times, but this felt different. It was in the privacy of Tommy’s hotel room, he was sober, and it wasn’t after a show where you’d sometimes give him a shoulder massage if he wasn’t off partying already.

“You should just go to the interview like that,” you joked, reclining on the bed. Tommy put one hand on his hip and rant the other through his hair.

“Really?”

“I’m joking.”

“Think chicks would dig it?”

“They definitely would, which is why you should put a shirt on.”

“You’re cock-blocking me now too, Y/N?”

“Somebody has to fill Sharon’s shoes,” you shrugged, then laughed.

“I hate that bitch.”

“She’s… not my favourite either,” you admitted. “But she sure has made my job easier.”

Tommy tugged his shirt on over his head and wandered into the bathroom to do his hair with a sigh. You swung your legs off the bed and followed him in, leaning your hip against the counter.

“Need a hand?” you asked.

“Would you mind?”

“Got a comb?”

“I think there’s one in my suitcase,” answered Tommy. You went back to his suitcase to look for it and cracked a smile when you noticed he hadn’t been wrong. It was totally full of nothing by leather pants and black t-shirts. Finding the comb and a can of hairspray, you returned to Tommy’s side.

“Sit on the toilet,” you ordered. The drummer did as he was told, and you started your work on his dark hair. Teasing and spraying, it was something you’d grown very good at very fast. The boys were pretty good at doing their own hair and makeup, but for shows they liked having you help them. Giving one more good puff of hairspray, you stepped back to admire your handiwork.

“All done.”

“Whatever would we do without you?” Tommy fake swooned.

“Walk around looking like electrocuted rats in drag,” you answered.

“Fuck, you’re mean!”

“Just being honest,” you said, raising your hands in surrender.

“You barely knew how to do your own hair before you got this job!”

“Did too!”

“Did not.”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

Tommy got up from sitting on the toilet and you had to lift your head to look him in the eyes, he was so freaking tall.

“Did too!” you insisted.

“Did not!”

“DID T- WHY ARE WE ARGUING ABOUT THIS?!” you snapped. The drummer just laughed.

“You look so cute when you get mad,” he said, crinkling his nose. You could feel yourself blush and quickly ducked out of the bathroom to put the comb and hairspray away.

“I should probably go see if Doc needs me for anything,” you said, quickly changing the subject. Shoving Tommy’s clothes back into his suitcase for him because you knew he’d never do it himself, you zipped it up and then made for the door. Pausing for a moment with your hand on the handle, you turned to Tommy. “Don’t cause any trouble, okay?”

“I make no promises.”

You rolled your eyes and left his room anyway. Closing the door behind you, you leaned against it for a minute to catch your breath. Great. Just great. Pretending you didn’t have feelings for the drummer was going to be a lot harder than you thought.

Shaking your head to clear it, you decided it would be best to visit Doc and get back to your regular roadie duties. You knocked on his door and waited for a reply.

“Yep?”

“It’s Y/N,” you announced. You could hear some movement inside the room and then the door opened.

“Nikki awake?”

“Nope, he’s passed out on his bed. I rolled him over though so if he pukes he shouldn’t choke.”

“You are way too good to those boys,” sighed Doc, motioning for your to take a seat on the chair by the window. “They don’t deserve you.”

You laughed.

“You’re probably right.”

“Tommy seems to be behaving himself.”

“He ate his eggs n’ bacon this morning.”

“He’s up already? You really must be magic.”

You blushed and looked out the window.

“I doubt it’s magic,” you said.

“Whatever it is, it’s keeping us out afloat right now. Elektra called this morning and said things are looking better.”

“Glad I could help then.”

“I don’t know what we’d do without you. You and Sharon, damn, that woman has been a colossal help,” sighed Doc, rubbing his temple.

“Yeah but the boys hate her. They’ve nick-named this ‘The No Fun Tour’.”

“Well I’ll agree with them on that, Elektra’s been riding my ass the whole time.”

“Try not to let it get to you, the boys need you,” you told him, smiling gently. Doc gave you a weary smile back.

“Harry and Dom checked in on Mick and Vince, so if you want to head back to the bus and collect any laundry then we should be all good and ready for the interview at three. Once they’re on that bus let’s keep them there until the show.”

“Sounds good, boss,” you replied, bidding Doc farewell and heading out of the hotel. Doing the laundry was actually one of your more favourite duties since it gave you some well-needed alone time.

Sure enough, by the time you had finished the band’s laundry and everyone else’s on the bus, it was time to get everyone back on the road and to the interview. Getting everyone on was always like herding cats.

“Vince, you have to tell them they can’t come along,” Harry said, hands on his hips. The blond singer still had his hands on the two girls you had heard in his room last night.

“Sorry ladies, the band’s got to get going to an interview. You can see them tonight at the show,” you told them, handing each of them a flyer and waving them off. They both gave you dirty looks like you were stealing their man. Harry sighed and you patted him on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry man, you’ll get it eventually. Now Vince, get on the bus,” you pointed. Turning around, Nikki was arguing with Doc about something, and the other two boys must have been on the bus already because they were nowhere in sight. Climbing the steps, you saw Mick who was leaning against one of the windows with sunglasses on, probably trying to get some more sleep in despite the chaos. But no Tommy. Scanning the bus, you were about to check the back room when a chin on top of your head stopped you.

“Hey, Y/N.”

It was the drummer. Draping his arms over your shoulder, you blew a lock of misplaced hair out of your face.

“Hi Tommy.”

“Whatcha up to?”

“Herding cats,” you answered, lifting his arms up so you could escape. “Now go sit down so I can make sure everyone’s on the bus.”

Going back outside, you helped Doc get everyone on board, and then you were off to the interview. It was one for TV, so it would probably be over an hour. TV interviews were nice because it meant someone else was in charge of the band for a while and you could get some rest. Your plan for today was to take a nap like Tommy had suggested, though it wouldn’t be in a nice hotel bed it would just be on one the couches in the bus.

When the bus arrived at the building where the interview was, you bid farewell to Motley Crue and made them swear to you they’d behave or else you’d tell Shanon. They all either swore at you or flipped you off, but you smiled anyway. You really did love them, and you loved your job. Once they were safely inside and under someone else’s control, you let out a long breath and retreated to the comfort of the bus. Leaning back on the couch, you were asleep in minutes.

It was over an hour later that you woke up, groggy and confused from your nap. The band was back from their interview, each a little buzzed from whatever drinks they had been offered, and Mick had a sandwich in his hand.

“You’re back,” you mumbled, running a hand through your hair and sitting up.

“And you took a nap,” said Tommy.

“How’d the interview go?”

“Ahh same old questions, nothing too interesting. They gave us shots though.”

“And sandwiches,” you pointed at Mick. “You guys going to be ready for the show tonight?”

“If we’re actually allowed to have some fun beforehand, then yeah.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” you smiled, patting Tommy’s knee before getting up to talk with Doc. You had a plan to help get Sharon off their backs, but you thought it best to run it by him first.

“Hey Doc, do you think you can spare me for a bit during set up? If I can get Sharon talking, then the boys can have some time to themselves if you know what I mean.”

Doc sighed.

“That woman has done wonderful things for us on this tour, but you’re right, the boys need some time before the show. Yes.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Talking to Sharon Osbourne turned out to be easier than you thought. You had lots and lots of stories to tell about Motley Crue’s escapades and she seemed content to listen to them, cluck her tongue, and gasp a little in horror. You thanked her repeatedly for helping keep the boys in line, knowing full-well they were all getting high and shit-faced as you two spoke. They liked to party, and so did everyone at their shows, so getting their energy up was what you had to help them do. You and Sharon walked around outside the venue for a good long time before you finally bid her farewell and went back inside to deal with whatever mess Motley Crue had created in your absence. They had gone onstage by the time you arrived, and you could just hear the music begin to play.

You still loved hearing them play, even after hearing the same songs over and over again. Hearing the crowd cheer and shout the lyrics back to them was still cool every night. You couldn’t even begin to imagine what it felt like to actually be up there. Gathering empty bottles and other garbage together, you did your best to clean up the greenroom. You weren’t part of tech and all the heavy lifting had already been done while you were talking to Sharon, so you snuck up to the stage and stood in the wings with some of the other roadies to watch the show. It was one hell of a show, but the real fun started afterwards.

You were always preoccupied doing takedown when the band came offstage, so when you finally wandered back into the greenroom, the party was already in full swing. The opening band was there, along with a dozen or more girls, Mick had a bottle in his hand, Vince had two girls swooning all over him, Nikki was doing lines off some girls bare chest, and Tommy was flirting with some leggy blonde. You were off duty now, since your only post-show job had been to help take down props, which meant you were allowed to drink. Grabbing a bottle of whiskey off a table, you tipped back a good portion of it and then wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. You didn’t get to relax often on tour, so you were going to make the most of your free night.

“Heeyyy, Y/N,” greeted Nikki, beckoning you over. “Are you drinking?” He was eyeing the bottle in your hand with great suspicion.

“It’s my night off,” you explained, taking another swig.

“Aaahhh,” Nikki said. “Welcome to the party then.” He made a big sweeping gesture with his arms and nearly smacked the girl he had bent over him in the face. Chuckling, you turned away from the bass player and narrowed your eyes at the blonde Tommy was talking to. You knew nothing could ever happen between you and the drummer, so him getting together with another girl should have been fine with you. You’d watched him flirt with hundreds of girls on this tour alone, this shouldn’t have made you as angry as it did. Lifting the bottle to your lips, you drank half of what was left in it. There was a boom-box in the corner, and ‘Don’t You Want Me’ by The Human League had just come on. Swaying your hips, you slowly raised the bottle over your head. You had always been into dancing – it didn’t take much to get you up on your feet, so with alcohol in your system this was a piece of cake. Flipping your hair and twisting around, you downed the rest of the bottle, then began searching for another. The more you looked at Tommy and the blonde who now had her hands on his bare chest, the more you wanted to drown out your feelings towards him.

In no time, you had polished off two beers and had started on a third. Vince had disappeared with one of the two girls, and Nikki was gone too. You weren’t sure where either of them had gone, but you decided it wasn’t your problem. You were off duty. You were here to have fun. Tommy was still there though, but he and his blonde companion had made it to one of the couches. Or at least the drummer had. The blonde was kneeling on the floor between his legs. Knocking back a third of your beer, you scowled. Typical. Fucking typical. At least Vince had some decency; Tommy was just sitting there in the middle of the room getting sucked off by some whore. Your drunk mind was never a kind one, and you were about to make it worse. Chugging the rest of your drink, you stumbled up to them.

“Tommy,” you snapped, hands on your hips.

“Y/N?”

“Whatttt the hell are you doing?” you slurred.

“Seriously? I think it’s pretty obvious what’s happening!”

“Who’s this blonde haired bitch?”

“Geezus, how drunk are you?” asked Tommy, eyeing the bottle in your hand.

“That’s not important, what’s important is the fact that you’re getting a blow job from some… some…” You never finished your sentence. Instead, you threw up all over the blonde girl below you. There was a scream which you figured must have been hers, some swearing from Tommy, and then you were stumbling backwards into a table. Knocking everything on the table to the floor, you barely managed to make it to the safety of the floor before you threw up again. The blonde was kneeling on the floor in shock, and Tommy was quickly zipping up his pants.

“Y/N, you okay?”

“Y-y-yeahh,” you slurred, letting the beer bottle roll out of your hand as you tried to steady yourself. You’d manage to avoid getting puke on yourself the first time, but not the second. Your shirt and pants were totally ruined.

“Fuck, Y/N,” breathed Tommy who was crouching by your side with his hand on your shoulder.

“I’m fffiiiinnne,” you assured him, trying to push him away. “You have your blonde bitch.”

“You are so not fine.”

Grabbing you under your arms, the drummer lifted you to your feet. Stumbling, you let him lead you outside to the bus. Doc was the only one on board, but you didn’t even notice. You threw up one more time on your way over, narrowly missing Tommy.

“Christ, how many drinks have you had?” asked the drummer.

“Only a fffeww.”

“Definitely more than a few,” Tommy muttered, helping you to the bathroom on the bus. You collapsed next to the toilet, gripping the edge for support while the drummer rummaged around looking for a clean cup to put water in. You had felt good a second ago, and now you felt like shit. Rubbing your face with your other hand, you groaned as you looked down at your ruined clothes.

“Fuuuckk, my outfit is ruined.”

Clumsily, you pulled off your shirt and threw it across the small bathroom. Unzipping your gross pants, you attempted to stand up. Using the wall to brace yourself, you managed to pull your boots and socks off, then your pants, and add them to the pile. Just as Tommy came back with the cup of water, you leaned over the toilet and heaved one more time.

“Geezus, Y/N.”

He handed you the water and watched as you downed the whole thing in one gulp. Wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, you could feel your eyes start to prick with tears.

“I’m sorry,” you whined. “I-I ruined your… with that girl, I’m sorry.”

“I mean yeah, you did, but you’re shitfaced and standing here in your underwear so I forgive you,” replied Tommy. You watched as him disappear for a minute and come back with his long-sleeve shirt from the first night you two had slept together.

“Here, put this on.”

You took it from him and slowly pulled it over your head.

“I don’t want to puke on this,” you mumbled, looking down at the shirt. “It smells like you.”

“I don’t think you have anything left to throw up, Y/N. Now come on, you can lie down in the back.”

You followed Tommy into the back of the bus to where the big wide wrap-around couch was. Usually it was littered with junk, or occupied by one of the band members and some girl, but you’d cleaned it today. You collapsed onto the couch, letting the cool fabric press against your cheek. All you wanted to do was close your eyes.

“My head hurts,” you complained, letting your eyelids droop shut.

“That’s what happens when you get shitfaced,” Tommy said, using your own line against you.

“Fuck offff.”

There was the sound of shuffling, and then something was wrapped around your shoulders. It was Tommy’s leather jacket.

“Come here.”

You opened your eyes again. Tommy was leaning against back of the couch, his arms open. You crawled into his lap, holding the leather jacket around yourself like cape. With your face buried in his shoulder and his arms wrapped around you, you fell asleep in an instant.

***

Okay there is definitely going to be a part 4 to this because this was way too much of a cliffhanger haha. I have part 4 planned out already but I’m probably going to try to do more of my requests before I get to it. As always, let me know if you want me to tag you in anything!

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nikoalaa · 4 years

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usually this is something i’d post on a side blog with no tags or followers (just to get out of my head), but i think this time i want the possibility of someone helping. idk how long this will be but i’ll put it under a read more when i’m on my computer.

i’ve been struggling more lately. idk if it’s just the pandemic and quarantine and everything getting to me, but this has all been happening before too, just maybe not as often. i’m more anxious, i’m more depressed, i want to shut myself away from friends and not leave my house much unless it’s a quick trip somewhere by myself. i’m so tired all the time. i’m just so, so exhausted. and since i’m home a lot with nothing to do, i’ll sleep. my schedule is so messed up. i sleep basically 5am-2pm and then sometimes still take a nap. like today i slept 5 or 6 am- 2, woke up and had something small to eat, sat at my computer and then slept again 6:30pm-9pm. i jokingly call this my “unemployed schedule” with my parents, but i think they just think i’m lazy.

and speaking of them, i think a lot of my problems i have with myself would be nonexistent if i just had good parents. my crooked teeth wouldn’t be an issue if my dad didn’t hate doctors and was scared of the dentist, therefore never making appointments for me or my brother, resulting in us both not having good teeth. my weight and unhealthy relationship to food wouldn’t be an issue if my mom would have just made me eat a god damn vegetable when i was a kid instead of just giving me chicken nuggets so i would stop whining. and when i was chubbier then other kids, instead of herself trying to fix my diet by actually cooking healthy food and making me eat it, she made me see a doctor and go to group sessions of other kids in similar situations (that i was very uncomfortable going to, to the point of me crying, but she forced me to go anyway). which none of that helped anyway, it just made me self conscious about eating so i now hate food and when i do eat in public, i feel gross and that people are staring at me. and now my body has tricked itself that if i’m out in public, i can only eat very little or else i get sick and throw up. and my mental illness could be in check if my parents just put in any effort. they’ve been aware of my depression since i was in 3rd grade (which my mom would phrase as “you don’t seem as happy anymore”) and i recall having anxiety since kindergarten. i get that we didn’t have a lot of money when i was growing up, so maybe they just made me see the guidance counselor every friday for two school years. which is fine, that’s what they could do and it was at least something idk. but after that it’s like they stopped caring. i went on to public school after that and i hated it. i constantly would go to the nurses office in 5th grade and pretend being sick so my mom could pick me up or some how get me home. that should have been a red flag. or whenever my dad asked me how my day was and i never said “good”, another red flag. i was so depressed for the rest of my time in public school, and they didn’t do anything. sure i would join clubs or play sports to try to make myself happy and have fun, but it wasn’t ever enough. high school was even worse. i was angry all the time. just that angry emo kid sat in the back of the class. and eventually i lost almost all my friends. i started cutting, but i kept it hidden until i got changed after gym class one day. someone i was kinda friends with spotted the cuts on my upper arm. they gave me a knowing look and asked what happened. i said my dog scratched me. but it was way too many cuts and too dark to be dog scratches. but they didn’t ask again and i was grateful because i didn’t want help at the time. rest of school went on, the cutting stopped (or at least stopped being as frequent. relapses now and again), had panic attacks before and during school (that i always seemed like a burden for having when my mom had to deal with it), then i had a manipulative friend/ex gf i’m not even going to get into rn. long section short, my parents knew i was struggling. they would mention it off handedly. “you didn’t seem as happy” “we saw their was something going on” stuff like that. but they did nothing to help me. never asked questions, never talked to me, never asked if i needed help or someone else to talk to.

after highschool the panic attacks weren’t as frequent, but the depression was there. and they knew it. because even now and then i would bring it up, especially when i was having a breakdown. i would tell them i need help, i need a therapist and i need medication. she said (because it was always my mom i would go to) that she would see what she could do. then nothing happened. another time, full break down, and i fully told her i am suffering and i need help. she made me feel like such a burden and an inconvenience. she said she had no idea how to get me a therapist. no idea where to start. so i told her, mainly yelled, to ask this one lady we know (someone who had actually done more for my mental health than my own mother) for advice because i know her two kids go to therapy and stuff. she said she would try but she never did. few weeks ago, i have the biggest panic attack i’ve had in a while. full hyperventilating, almost going to throw up, all because there was a bug in my room trapped under a bowl. that is not healthy. i’m sobbing and gasping for air as my dad is trying to get the fast bug off the floor but not lose it, and once it’s gone i’m in bed sobbing and heaving and my whole body is twitching uncontrollably. she thinks she’s hot shit because she did that “5 things you can touch” bull shit once i was starting to calm. nothing again after that. what they did, they bought a hand vacuum so i could catch bugs myself. i guess so i won’t have to bother them at 4 in the morning and again freaking the fuck out. all in all, if they got me therapy as a teen and i had meds, i probably would be much much much better off. i won’t even go into the trans stuff rn. i think they think it went away because they ignored it and i don’t talk about it with them. even tho in the rest of the world away from family, i go by my chosen name and my friend calls me “he”. but it’s been almost 4 years, if not already 5 years, since i came out to them. they said they looked up therapy and stuff but again, nothing ever happened. i joke with my parents and say they’re lucky i don’t steal my dogs prozac and they laugh. i know it’s exactly the one used for people because it’s the same exact one my ex took. these days i’m starting to see things out of the corner of my eye, but nothing is there. i tell my mom i think i have adhd or something because i’ve read symptoms and it would make sense. and i also don’t remember a time where my head wouldn’t just be quiet. even now. it never is. but she says i was tested and they didn’t say i had adhd. when i was 7... and it’s misdiagnosed in afab people... and especially since i was anxious as a child.. and nervous around the lady who tested me. when. i. was. 7. shit develops later in life. but she won’t believe me because she says she’s trained to see the signs for her work. but then she’ll bring up how my uncle, grandma, and dad, are like the poster kids for adhd. and she just won’t believe me.

i’m really struggling with just everything. and i feel guilty that i’m even struggling and “feeling bad”. i’m a white kid from the philly suburbs. everything could be much much worse for me. but then again, i know thinking like this isn’t good for me. just because it could be worse, doesn’t mean it still can’t be a hell of a lot better too. i just want to be okay. i want to be healthy and happy. i’ve never really gotten to experience it all. my happiness seems fake and it fades away. my idea of health is “going to the gym and the right amount of anorexia.” i know that’s not healthy but that’s just the only way i know. my mom doesn’t seem to care anyway. i tell her that when i am working or i was in school, i would only have like one meal a day. she didn’t say a thing. i just want to be happy. i don’t want to die. i really don’t. i hate being alive but like, i’m already here. i’m not going to take myself out. but it’s just so hard to exist a lot of the time. idk how i’ve done it this long. and i can tell it’s gonna get bad again because i tried to cut myself a few nights ago. the knife wasn’t sharp enough to really make a mark but i had no energy to keep trying. i really need help but idk what to do anymore.

#im so sorry this is so long #it took me an hour to write #ill put a read more later #im so sorry #tw depression #tw anxiety #tw eating disorder #tw anorexia #tw self harm #tw cutting #ask to tag #just in case #im gonna try to sleep cuz its now almost 5:30 am

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tarithenurse · 5 years

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Orphan - 5

Starring: Fem!Reader and MCU characters! Contents: Spoilers for Endgame!! Good intentions, awkwardness, feels. A/N: PREVIOUS CHAPTERS can be found on the masterlist. Thanks for likes and reblogs and comments <3

5. Tea and Fate

There’s a fuzziness enveloping your mind that makes everything appear to happen at a slower pace than usual, voices distant and warped. You have to force every movement before your body begrudgingly accepts to carry it out, clumsily too, so it’s a miracle you don’t break anything before breakfast is over. At least the two big kids seem to be similarly slow this morning. Why’s he so hyper? Glancing at the little Nathaniel over your cup of coffee, it strikes you as unnatural how he can be so cheerful, constantly babbling about the things he is planning to do during the day as he bounces on the chair.

“– and then can we go down t’the creek and catch tadpol’th? You wanna come, [Y/N]?”

Huge, pleading eyes are staring at you and suddenly it makes sense when people talk about puppy eyes because not even a golden retriever would be able to reach the levels of cuteness the sticky, noisy kid just achieved. Scrambling for words (preferably a nice way to turn him down), you find yourself stuttering and mumbling before Laura saves you.

“There won’t be any tadpoles now, sweetie. It’s fall, and they’ve all grown up into toads and frogs.” She glances at you with an apologetic smile. “And I think, perhaps, [Y/N] needs a bit of time to get used to being here.”

What I need is a nap. Instead of saying it, you just nod with an attempt at a noncommitting smile that might not have amounted to anything more than a grimace of questionable characteristic. A nap and a plan.

… Morgan …

Uncle Rhodes and mommy have gone into the kitchen and shut the door, leaving Happy as the only entertainment.

“I’m booooooored!” Morgan mutters, mainly to herself because the first attempts at getting the gummy-bear of a man to play with her have failed already. “Can I go play on my own?”

It takes a moment for him to react. “Huh? What, yeah…just stay in the house, ‘kay bug?”

She answers with a cheer and a wave, already bouncing up the stairs to fetch her favourite teddy bear and the space stone from aunt Nebula – you never know what you’re going to need when going on an adventure (even if it’s indoors).

…

Someway or other, Morgan doesn’t quite know how, the exploration has brought her to daddy’s work room where the broad table hums invitingly. He never keeps any of his tools in the house, they’ve all been banished to the shed except this one and all the boring books and papers. Sure enough. Resting the chin on the edge of the humming piece of furniture, she can see a stack of folders on one side and a few scraps with scribbles and lines looking like a robot…or a dog.

Daddy’s things aren’t toys. Crawling up into the soft swivel chair, she enjoys a few rounds before allowing the two treasures to take part in the joy of the secret carousel…now and then stealing a glance between the messy strands of hair at the table. Not toys.

He has used it so many times even with Morgan around. A pat in that corner. A wave of the hand. Blue light fills the room in the middle of the day, making the girl think of the swimming pool at grandma’s and grandpa’s.

“Hello, Morgan.”

The voice is so nice and sweet even if the little girl just did something she isn’t supposed to. “Hi, Fwiday.” Morgan doesn’t blush. Almost never.

“What can I help you with, sweetheart?”

The answering question pops out all on its own. “Where’s dad? Mom keeps cwying ‘cause he’s gone.”

“Oh, sweetie…”

… Reader …

You had never quite imagined that you’d be doing a conference call with a handful of heroes while sitting on the hood of an old John Deere in a barn. There’s a shit ton of things I’ve never imagined. Looking over at Clint, sprawled in the seat and with the feet up on the steering wheel, you could almost be lulled into a sense of calm. That things aren’t completely deranged.

Time and again, you’ve felt like an amateur ice dancer trying to keep your life in balance despite the odds so you shouldn’t be feeling as lost as you do. And still…this time you have no counterweight, no place to call home and no person to guide you through the fog. The voices are familiar, in some twisted kind of way, talking gently as if that magically will calm your nerves…but they don’t know how it does exactly the opposite because they sound condescending just like the overbearing social workers and potential adoptive parents that turned you down for no other reason than being too old. For not looking enough like them that you could pass as their “real” kid on a photograph.

“She’s gotten a copy of the files,” Rhodes is explaining, “to go over with her attorney.”

To see if I’m good enough, if she really has to be stuck with me? “Why?” The question leaves the line silent. “I’m not asking for inheritance…or to be part of her life! I just...”

The sympathetic look Clint gives you is almost worse than the unanswered questions and you close your eyes to it. Deep breaths. Pictures of Tony Stark dance in your mind together with memories of your mother, each of them sporting features that you would be able to point out when looking in a mirror. Like when I was a kid.

Time and again, before the aliens attacked New York, you had conjured up an imaginary world where you had both a mom and a dad – the latter being none other than Tony Stark. In that world, you all lived together, and your mom would say that you had her looks and your dad’s smarts which would make him laugh and pull both of you into a hug. In that fairy-tale –

A hand brushes your arm gingerly, waking you with a start from the reveries – lost long ago in the smouldering rubble of a tiny apartment – to find Clint’s face a foot from yours. Keen eyes study every twitch of the brow, maybe even counting the blackheads on your nose, and you pull back in annoyance.

“Y’okay there?” he asks low enough that people listening in won’t hear.

What do you care? “Sure.” Clearing you voice, it’s all you can do to return the attention to the phone. “As I said…I just needed to know if it was true.”

“If need be, would you be willing to do a DNA-test?” You already recognize the voice as the Hulk’s.

A non-committal shrug before you realize they can’t see it. “Sure.”

…

From your spot on the bed on the second floor, you can look out over the field stretching towards the forest. Everything is drenched, covered by sheer greyness that makes the grasses bow and the fallen leaves stick to each other as if hoping the wind won’t be able to move them. The sun is setting somewhere beyond this drab world, but no colours of rose gold and purple reach this far to warm your body now the layers of borrowed clothes and a musty blanket don’t cut it.

You can hear the bubbling giggle that erupts sporadically from Nathaniel. This time you hear Cooper too, a boyish version of his mother…when he can drag himself out of the teenage moods, at least. He’s not that bad, according to your limited experience of kids in full families, just kind of sullen with a tendency to walk away when bothered. Like whenever I enter the room. He’d barely stayed in the seat to finish breakfast. At lunch he’d walked in, seen you, and declared not to be hungry before leaving.

Some people might think it was a relief that Lila sat through the meal, but the glaring was tough to ignore. What’ve I done to them? Your eyes prickle dangerously, and your nose is close to dripping too, callously ignoring the deep breaths and stubborn, unspoken promises that you don’t care. I don’t. It’s not like you haven’t gone through these things before back when you were their age, finding kids scowling at you for no apparent reasons. It’s better than pity. There’s plenty of that to go around and –

*knock knock*

Startled by the sound, body trying to crawl in on itself to feel small and inconspicuous, you hold your breath in the hopes that you heard wrong, but it happens again. Slow but resolute knocking.

“[Y/N]?” Even though she’s rarely spoken to you, the voice of Lila is easily recognizable. “Can I…is’t okay if I c’m’in?”

I’m an adult. I gotta act like one. Any wetness by the eyes is hastily rubbed away. “Sure.” Clear and steady.

The door creaks after ears of disuse, allowing the appearance of the back of Lila’s shoulder as she slides the elbow off the handle. Huh? The moment there’s room, she turns to reveal a little tray with two enormous cups of something steaming and a little tray of cookies. A shy smile, shoulders carefully rising before being lowered with a newfound confidence as you return the silent greeting by making room on the bed for the girl.

Outside, the rain fights to break the grey haze obscuring the world but in reality adding to it. The flaming colours that had managed to maintain a desperate hold on the twigs so far are disappearing in an early dusk. A moment ago that misery had your attention, resonating within, now it’s chased away by an awkward, lanky girl sitting cross-legged before you while apologizing for the lack of milk.

“Hey! It’s okay,” you manage to interrupt her at a break for air, “I’ll drink it any which way, so thanks…”

“Good, good…”

Drops pummel the window. Tea scent heats your faces causing a new flush to be added to Lila’s cheeks. Good tea, as if that’s the reason you feel guilt gnawing for the negativity against the girl…a negativity that evaporates like the steam curling above the hot liquid.

“I’m sorry,” Lila admits, and you’re not sure why even though you have an idea, “I…Cooper and me…” For a moment all her attention seems to be on the cookie she steeps in the mug. Seems. “I’ve been a jerk, haven’t I?”

Alright! Up front now! “Maybe. I guess I’ve been too...” Sharing a glance you recognize some of Clint in the way she takes in every detail. “So this is like…a truce? Ceasefire?”

“Hoped so.”

You can’t hug it out with her. There’s been too many fake hugs in your life from people who claimed they’d be there for you. Lila doesn’t promise anything except to try to be decent and that’s something you can mirror. Good thing too. You’ve got nothing else to offer.

“– they say I need to start school Monday.” Clearly, you’ve missed the start of whatever the middle Barton kid’s saying, but you can fill it out. “I’m gonna be like the only senior from my year left! Can you imagine?”

“A little, maybe. People did stare a shitlo–…sorry…a lot at uni. But hey! At least the sophomore was only surprised when I appeared on his lap. At first.”

“Nooo!” Wide eyes followed by a crinkle of amusement. “Was he hot?”

What?! That line of thought had never occurred to you. “Uhm…I don’t actually remember, I’m just glad he didn’t push me onto the floor.”

There’s a tiny snort of giggles, “Hey, welcome back! Yeet!” Her tea almost spills as she imitates the student forcibly tossing you aside.

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