#but the WAY in which they lost it is honestly unforgivable to me and much worse than i ever could've imagined them losing

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hii! Could you do a mizu w reader where one is injured (doesn't really matter which one haha) and it's like a hurt/ comfort?

Take your time and get some rest!!

Write this when I was on the verge of falling asleep, so if any of it sounds like it was coming out of my ass, it was. 🦦

‘Why did you do it?’ Mizu asked, choosing not to look at you but instead focus on your injuried chest with a hard glare.

‘Do what? Protect you from that smiley coward who was about to use unethical means to completely blindside you?’ You replied as though the answer wasn’t already glaringly obvious, you honestly didn’t understand why you had to explain your reasonings as for protecting Mizu and putting your life at risk, but if it meant showing them that someone did give a shit about whether they’d live or die; then you’d happily be that person for Mizu.

‘You had no need to protect me, I could’ve-‘

‘Easily defend yourself, I know Mizu.’ You interrupted them before grabbing ahold of their hand, memorising the feeling of callousness to memory, as you rubbed your thumb against the back of their hand reassuringly. ‘I know how strong and powerful and amazing you are. I’ve witnessed your fighting spirit first hand and it took my breath away. Literally because when we first met you knocked the wind out of my lungs with the butt of your sword, all because you thought I was some stranger about to attack you.’ You finished recounting the tale of how you first encountered Mizu with a small smile. Why? Maybe it was your way to direct their mind to a more happier and healthier memory, rather then have it stuck heavily focusing on the one where they had their back exposed to the enemy; the reason you now had a massive gash running across your chest. A gash that would surly become a permanent part of your body but also a painful reminder to Mizu.

A reminder that you could’ve been easily taken away from them.

A reminder that you’d always selflessly put them before yourself, even if that meant getting hurt, maimed, loosing a limb or worse yet; your life.

A reminder that they’ll have to get stronger if they wish to prevent you from doing so in the nearby future. Mizu knew that their revenge took presidency over everything else, even their own health, but they don’t want you to ruin yourself beyond recognition for them; It just didn’t feel right to Mizu to have you be the barrier between them and the ill intentions of other people. They were strong enough to deal with it but as it’s been made clear countless times before, you didn’t give two shits about that, and instead focused all your time and effort into showing them that they matter so much to you; Which is an admirable and respectable trait to have in Mizu’s eyes.

However that did little to quell the unease they felt upon witnessing your body drop at their feet in what felt like slow motion, just as the first sighting of blood that began to pool beneath you in such quick succession, that at one point Mizu genuinely thought they were too late to save you, this was proven especially more true when you didn’t awaken within the first couple of days after Mizu had stitched and then later covered your wound; all in due to the amount of blood you had already lost. So the feeling of being able to properly breathe again upon seeing you wake up made the uneasy feeling that little bit more bearable for Mizu.

‘While it’s appreciated to know that I can fully count on you to have my back in the heat of battle, it is not a necessity.’ Mizu states, bring the conversation back to where it was needed most, causing you to frown. ‘I should’ve known better than to think that he would honour me with a fair fight. I should’ve known that he’d play dirty the moment he realised the odds were stacked against him.’ Mizu adds, clenching their fists into the seams of their clothing, jaw clenched and their eyes become an unforgiving steel blue; all signs of their underlying rage toward themself and the cowardly man.

‘You didn’t know and that’s perfectly fine.’ You grunt as you slowly sat yourself up with Mizu’s hands supporting your endeavour whilst being mindful as to not reopen your wound. ‘It’s normal to not foresee things before they happen, otherwise it wouldn’t be considered an authentic human experience.’ You let out a little chuckle, all the while Mizu was left to sit there and narrow their brows at what you could’ve possibly thought was so humorous. ‘And to live an authentic human experience is to accept that you have limitations, especially during the moments where you wished you didn’t have any at all.’ You said as you looked into Mizu’s eyes hoping that your words were somewhat getting through to them.

‘We always question ourselves on how we didn’t see it coming, or how we didn’t see the signs but what we’re not taking into account is that we’re human. Not super powered beings of mythical origins nor gods but just plain old humans. We don’t get the luxuries that they do, however if there’s one thing we can pride ourselves in having, it’s how we take these moments to heart and learn from them going forwards.’ You smiled softly, seeing the sea of emotions within Mizu’s eyes. ‘Another thing we can pride ourselves on is our resilience and our willpower to continue paving the way forward. We get hurt but we always get back up because that’s the indomitable human spirit. That’s what we do.’

‘Where are you getting with this and what does it have to do with me allowing you in getting hurt?’ Mizu asked, curious and a little restless as to what this was all meant to mean. ‘The moral of this for you to not beat yourself up over being human for being human is all we’ll ever know how to be until our final breath.’ You explained, lifting their clenched hand within yours to press a kiss to the back of it, before placing it back onto their lap. ‘Instead of focusing on what has already come to pas, how about bringing your attention to the fact that I’m still here and I’m still breathing. Yeah?’ Mizu stayed quiet for a while, allowing for your words to sit with them as Mizu thought long and hard before finally reaching to a conclusion.

‘Only on the pretences that I get to teach you in the basics of defence.’ Mizu said. ‘As a precaution.’ They add.

‘As long as you don’t go hard on me.’ You chuckled, already visualising it.

Mizu gave you an almost missable smirk. ‘No promises.’

[nylongenesis]

Here’s the thing about Timothy stoker

here it is the tim post

People who say tim is an asshole are partially correct.

People who say tim is ‘toxic’ are INCORRECT.

I am very strongly about this because. listen to me. okay.

SPOILERS UP TO TMA SEASON 3 AHEAD

Imagine BEING timothy stoker. After whats probaboy the secondmost traumatizing experience of your life in which you almost die if not by the worms then by the MEDICAL EMERGENCY (respiratory acidosis is a medical emergency :3) your body was put into- plagued with nightmares and the pain of your body being covered in holes and your medical issues, you come back to the archives expecting to see your best friend, That will make it all better. It’ll be so worth it once you can see her again.

And then she acts so distant. And you dont know why.

And you have just lost your friendship. The one that’s kept you going this whole time. The one you were starting to believe might have been unbreakable. And you Don’t. Know. Why.

Eventually after many failed attempts to reconnect, you resign yourself to the fact that she just got tired of you. That you were right this whole time. That she just pitied you. You still don’t know what you did wrong and it’s eating you alive, but she won’t tell you, so you have to settle with pretending to be glad that she’s at least alive, All while your boss is literally going insane and STALKING YOU???

Only to find out after a YEAR of believing you were just unlovable that this person? The person youve been trying to ‘reconnect’ with? That isnt your best friend, Your best friend dies and you never noticed. How could you not notice? But when you see the real picture of her she feels like a stranger and you realize you have no fucking escape from your horrible, unforgivable sin of forgetting your friend. Because no matter what you do, trying to look back at your memories, that *thing* is there instead. You can’t even enjoy your memories before she died.

So you sit there, alone and afraid. Angry, grieving, everything else. What are you supposed to do but make the thing that has haunted you since the disappearance of your Brother feel the kind of pain it is making you feel?

Tim isn’t toxic. Hell I wouldn’t even say he’s that much of an asshole.

He’s a hurt child.

Mentally, especially in season three, he’s having the equivalent of a child’s breakdown. The kind they have when they don’t know how to express the emotions they’re feeling. These emotions- this grief, this anger, this pain- it’s so big, it’s so much, and he feels so small, so incapable and weak, and he cannot properly handle it. He cannot cope. Especially since he’s still somewhat trapped in who he was when his brother was taken.

Now im not saying the way he went about this is at all great, but yknow. Everyone forgives reactions to trauma until they’re personally inconvenient or ugly.

Tim lost everything, and honestly i would be pretty damn similar if I was in his position! That’s DEVASTATING.

In the end, there’s such a horrible tragedy to his entire character that goes almost entirely unnoticed unless you’re like me and you’re insane and overanalyze someone based on one word in an extra audio thats not in the podcast.

Anyways, that’s why I love Tim.

[ghosts-bandwagon]

Request: “Price/Soap/ or Alejandro X SurgeonReader

You’re a surgeon, you’ve studied and worked hard to be where you are. With surgery comes loss. You do your best but you can’t save everyone. You know the pain and helpless feeling of losing a patient. But today something is just different and you end up breaking down as soon as you step in the door and throw your scrub cap on the ground.”

tw: mentions of death, loss, mentions of violence, angst with comfort

You were in school for years, passed your MCATs with flying colors, scored excellent marks in each of your rotations with your mentors and the staff giving you glowing recommendations. And when it came time to apply your skills, you did it with ease. And John couldn’t be more proud of you. In fact, he bragged about you every chance he got. Anytime he was deployed, he talked about you to his team with a grin going from ear to ear. And honestly, they were in awe as well. Not just because you were a skilled surgeon, but because someone like Price managed to pull someone like you.

John always kept his phone with him when he was on base, always with his ringer on as well. You made a habit of texting him when you were brought in on call, when you were about to enter the OR, and you’d call him when you were done and the patient was in the recovery wing. That didn’t change when he was home. Sometimes you’d call him, voice thick with exhaustion and the inkling that you might break, he could hear fighting your tears when you’d tell him about the patient you’d just lost. He’d rub the sleep out of his eyes, make a fresh pot of coffee, get in his car, and drive straight over to you. The staff all knew him by this point and buzzed him in without question. He’d hand you your thermos full of coffee and pull you in for a hug. If there’s anything he can understand, it’s the sheer, gut-wrenching, agony of losing someone entrusted to your care.

“You did all you could, love. Crack on, yeah?” He kissed your cheeks and rested his forehead against yours, you nodded and took a deep breath. You weren’t crying but you were pretty damn close.

Over time, you managed to steel yourself against that loss. Against that unforgiving blow dealt by the pain of losing someone on your table, under your knife. You’ve since learned to compartmentalize the loss and keep pressing on. It didn’t mean that it didn’t whittle away at you any less every time it happened, try as you might to prevent it but has anyone been successful in preventing the inevitable?

You’ve been keeping an eye on the news, mortified at the violence among the citizens for things that aren’t worth it. But as you watched the news, you knew you’d be called in one of these nights. It’s fine. Business as usual. It’s what you did, it’s what you signed up for, you’d do everything in your power to save them. John knew too, he was worried about you but he also knew you were strong and capable.

To help take your mind off things, John invited you and the task force out for drinks. He knew how, unfortunately, fond of them you are and knew they could help keep your mind off the growing unrest gnawing at your stomach. Which is how you found yourself sandwiched between John and Simon, with Johnny and Kyle sitting across from you. As much as you wanted to join them, you were on call and had to be ready to go at a moment's notice. You were happily sipping your water as you listened to Johnny’s enthusiastic story telling accompanied by Simon’s occasional grunts and eye rolls. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you knew.

“Alright, that’s me, boys. Catch you guys next time, yeah?” You sighed, scooting out of the booth after John gave you room. You gave him a quick peck on his lips, “I expect him back home at a reasonable time, got it?”

“Yes, mum.” Teased Johnny, you threw your crinkled napkin at him with a laugh before heading out. You took a deep breath as you sat in your car, mentally preparing yourself for whatever was coming your way.

You got to the hospital and changed into your scrubs as quickly as you could, scrubbing into the OR as the nurse rounded you off on the case. Seems like it was your turn to deal with the fallout of whatever the hell was going on out there, you breathed deeply, steeling your nerves as you made your way into the OR.

Thirteen hours.

You were in surgery for thirteen hours. And it didn’t. Fucking. Matter. After suffering critical injuries, bleeding profusely, spending all that time with you and your nurses trying to stem the bleeding and repair the damage at the same time, it didn’t fucking matter. The patient had coded and was pronounced dead. You were numb. You were numb when you stiffly walked over to the family to inform them, you were numb when the man’s wife fell to her knees, clutching at your buttoned-up white coat, her husband's blood drying on your scrubs. You were numb when she was sobbing into your legs, you were numb when the rest of her family tried comforting her and pulling her away from you.

You were numb.

You didn’t call John when you were finished. You didn’t change out of your scrubs, didn’t bother taking off your cap when you got in your car. You don’t remember driving home, you don’t remember how you got home honestly, you don’t remember the painfully stiff walk to the front door, you don’t remember seeing the extra car in the driveway. None of it registered. You opened your door and tossed your keys on the table at the entrance, you didn’t hear Simon greeting you from the dining room, didn’t hear John calling your name as you dragged your tired body to your room. That’s not true, you heard them but either it didn’t register or you were too cold to care.

You were numb.

John watched in horror as you walked right past him. He saw you were still wearing your scrubs, he saw the blood that stained your pants and a little bit of your top, you didn’t react when you saw Simon (who you’ve drunkenly told John was your favorite), you didn’t even blink when John called out your name.

“Fuck.” John sighed, dread settling in his gut like a lead balloon, he’s only felt this intensity a handful of times on the field and it never ended well.

“I’ve seen that same look on you before.” Simon quirked a brow, looking at John over the rim of his cup,

“Hang back, Simon, might need you.” His heart hammered in his throat as he stepped out from behind the kitchen counter and jogged to your shared room.

“Sweetheart, can I come in?” He knocked on the door, when he didn’t get an answer he tentatively stepped in, gently closing the door behind him. He didn’t have to look very hard, your scrub top was on the floor and you stood beside it, pants still on, eyes fixed on the ground below your feet. You don’t know how long you were standing there, it felt like an eternity, it felt like a minute.

“I’m goin’ to help you undress, alright?” John’s voice was low, a calming baritone, thawing the frozen walls of your defense mechanism. He took a slow step towards you, then another, then another, and he was right in front of you. He kneeled down and gently undid the tie on your scrub pants, sliding them down your legs, tenderly lifting one foot and then the other to get them off of you. The warm occasional brushes of his fingers thawing you out even more,

“I lost another one, John.” Your voice was hoarse from disuse, his head snapped up at you, almost shocked that you spoke.

“Oh sweetheart.” He sighed, standing upright with a pop from his knees. He ran his warm hands over your arms, rubbing them in an attempt to warm you up. He watched the tears build in your eyes, watched the quiver of your bottom lip,

“I don’t think I can do this anymore, John.” You sobbed with your head hung low, he sat on your bed and gently guided you to sit beside him. He took your legs and placed them over his lap, gently massaging your calves as you leaned against him and cried into his shoulder,

“Take some time off.” His voice was calm, hands working methodically on the tension in your legs,

“If I’m not there, then who’s going to do the surgeries?” You hiccuped, your tears soaked through his tshirt as your sobs wracked your body,

“The other surgeons that work there.” He reasoned, “All the time you’ve spent there, you haven’t taken time for yourself. You’ve done more than enough for them, they’ll understand.”

“What if they don’t?”

“Then find somewhere else that does.” He shrugged, he knew it wouldn’t be that simple but at the same time he wanted to believe,

“I’m here for another two months, love. Take the time. Recharge. Go back refreshed.” His hands worked his way up your calves, to your knees, fingers getting between the tendons that shifted and clicked under his touch,

“I do miss you.” You sniffled,

“And I miss you. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for me.” He nudged your head with his, resting his forehead against yours,

“Ok. I’ll text my supervisor.” You wiped your nose with the back of your hand, your breath hiccuping as you tried to calm yourself down.

“There we go.” He kissed your forehead and guided you to stand, he walked with you to the bathroom and helped you climb in the shower.

“You get cleaned up, I’ll fix you some breakfast, yeah?”

“Ok.” You smiled weakly at him as you turned the shower as hot as you could tolerate, “I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.” He gave you one last kiss before heading back out into the kitchen. As you stood under the spray of hot water, your sobs started up once more, you covered your mouth as you leaned against the cold tile wall.

Yes, you were tired of the stress and pain of your job. Yes, it was taking a toll on you mentally, much more than it did physically after standing for long periods of time. Yes, your heart ached with every loss, despite your attempts to compartmentalize, you remembered their faces, the various states they came to you in, their families. And you’ve told him as much over time.

But you wouldn’t tell him about this one. You wouldn’t tell him that the man on your table had succumbed to wounds he received trying to help those involved in the riots lately. You wouldn’t tell him that his wife was pregnant when she fell on her knees in front of you.

But most of all, you wouldn’t tell him that your patient looked like him. You wouldn’t tell him that you had to fight your own mind and keep it from projecting your John onto the man in front of you. You wouldn’t tell him that your nightmares consisted of working for the military and operating on him and losing him. You both knew of the risks of his job, it wasn’t a foreign concept that there was a possibility he wouldn’t come home to you one day. You’ve glossed over it but never actually talked about it, never wanted to. Both of you foolishly believed that if you didn’t talk about it, it wouldn’t happen. It’s worked so far, so why fix what isn’t broken?

All of this was swimming in your head as you bit down on your knuckles to keep from sobbing loudly, like your body so desperately wanted you to do. But John knows you better than you dare to give him credit for, he knew you were still terribly broken up about it. Your John, your lighthouse beacon in the stormy sea of your heart, your gravity keeping you tethered to the ground you walk on. When you blinked the tears and the water from your eyes, you saw him standing under the spray of water with his tshirt and underwear still on. He held your face so lovingly, waiting for you to come back to him,

“Oh John.” You sobbed, throwing your arms around his neck, and burying your face in his shoulder, you cried and cried, your body shaking at the force of your wails. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, holding your head against his shoulder,

“It’s alright, love, I’ve got you.” He swayed gently under the spray of hot water, his broad shoulders shielding you, “I’ve got you.”

[sapphire-weapon]

I always felt as though Luis and Leon's relationship were a case of lost love or a possible unrequited love (on Luis's side). It makes it sadder.

i wouldn't say that i felt that way in OG, but you can absolutely make a case for it in remake.

i don't have a whole lot to say about luis's perspective personally (@theggning is your resident luis expert, not me), but just in terms of their dynamic in general, i was absolutely shocked by how intimate luis's death scene was.

i'm a former smoker, and maybe i'm weird in this idk, but i only let someone light a cigarette for me once and then never allowed it again because of how profoundly uncomfortable it made me; to me, it felt like that was the most intimate you could be with a person without physically touching them. it crossed a line for me. so that + the angle at which the scene was shot, and just the cinematic direction of it in general... and then for it to be capped off with leon very gingerly placing the lighter back into luis's hand and holding it there -- it was just a very, very intimate moment. far beyond what RE has done in the past -- with any two characters.

remake did a lot of interesting things that OG didn't, and one of the most interesting things was its use of themes. there was a whole lot in there about "can people change" and "penance and atonement" and "chasing the idealized version of the self" and a lot of that shit is shown through leon and luis.

i think, in leon, luis saw someone that he wished he'd personally always been: someone who can view things at a far enough distance to see the bigger picture (though LOLOLOL the irony is that luis has no idea just how much leon had to learn to do that the hard way), and someone who does the right thing because it's right and won't be tempted or swayed or bought off his path. and that's probably ultimately the reason why luis gave ada the finger and threw his lot in with leon instead. ada was too much of who luis already was, whereas leon was someone he wished he could be.

and in luis, i think leon saw a reflection of his own failures, and was forced to face the uncomfortable reality that luis was actually doing something about his past misdeeds, whereas leon himself was just going through the motions and moving forward numbly and blindly.

honestly? i don't think leon could have/would have killed krauser in remake if not for luis -- because krauser was the other side of the coin. for all intents and purposes, krauser had done exactly what leon was in the process of doing -- he was the culmination of years of letting shit build up and not doing anything about it. as a result, he became an angry, unhinged, bitter, unforgiving, sexually repressed traitor who lived for nothing and died for less.

luis was the opposite of that; luis chose atonement and penance, and he died a hero as a result. and i think leon looked at that and made the decision to walk the same path as luis instead of continuing along the path that might one day lead to him becoming krauser. he realized that couldn't keep doing things the way that he'd always done them, because if he did, he'd just get the same results -- and that would lead to the angry, bitter resentment etc etc etc.

and to have the kind of shared growth and inverted perspectives that leon and luis have as characters is absolutely 100% romantic. you see that kind of shit in romance novels all the time. so there is really something to be said about it.

sorry i know that a lot of this is super meta and kind of abstract, but it's something that i've been thinking about for a few weeks, and this ask kind of gave me an excuse to explore it a little bit lmao

[gerudospiriit]

[Alright, I officially finished A Link to the Past so I can officially have an opinion now. Under the cut because it might get long (not that anyone will probably read this but I need to SHARE).

SO. To start this off, I really cannot grasp how people like what's his nuts from GG can say that this game is better than Ocarina of Time or really any game that follows it. However, this isn't about comparing the two games like a cranky, bitter baby. and all I'll say to such comparisons is they DEFINITELY improved on a lot over the years as any game franchise should. So, yeah, my bias aside, I would never say this game was better than OoT, and I don't think anyone actually being honest about it can either.

That said, the game was okay. I like getting some lore I'm less familiar with for what that's worth. The game was fun at time but, honestly, it overall felt more like a chore than a fun game to play. Starting with the story, which I get wasn't meant to be the focus, it's pretty standard: Ganon is trying to do mayhem and you have to do x, y, and z to stop him. There's really just...no meat to it. There's nothing really that makes me feel connected to the characters or what I'm trying to do as the gameplay feels too far removed from the plot, and there is nothing that you do that feels really impactful. The stakes don't feel like they're there.

I also didn't get how people praise this game and a few others a lot because you can do the dungeons in any order. Like...it wasn't all of them, it seemed to me? Like there were definitely times where I had to do one temple and get the item there before I could do another. There's definitely more freedom in that realm than other games, but I don't see how it makes the game better or worse.

My biggest gripes were with the mechanics/gameplay. I'll just list some of them and try to be brief about describing why they're gripes.

The item mechanics. On it's face, it's not the worst, but in practice it was annoying. Only having access to one item aside, it always felt clunky and obnoxious to set items and use them. I really think they could have optimized this and the menu system better in general to help that.

Maybe this was my dumbass, but the hitboxes felt...off a lot of times. Like I would watch my sword hit something very obviously but it wouldn't actually hit. Like I said, maybe this was user error, but I'm not really sure and it annoyed me.

BALANCING. I don't mind games being difficult or unforgiving. But holy shit there was literally no balancing of health regeneration. And I'll take partial blame on this: I could have done more to get all the bottles so I could carry more potions and maybe a net(?) to catch fairies(?), but holy shit. At least let people regen A LITTLE before reaching a boss fight. Like yeah, most of the boss fights were surprisingly easy, but when you have to run through the WHOLE TEMPLE AGAIN because you lost, it really sucks because, chances are, you're going to lose that health you got from your revival (which isn't much) and be back at square one when you reach the boss again. And that's not discussing how it feels like the enemies do WAY too much damage, which is especially shitty when you reach rooms where you literally cannot avoid taking said damage (I like to think I'm at least decent enough at the game, btw; not the best by any means but decent). I was at least a big cheater and abused the rewind function on the Switch emulator but holy shit. If I played properly, I'm not sure I would have made it to the end.

And my biggest gripe was easily how you could literally finish at least one whole dungeon, get to the boss, and realize you didn't have the weapon you needed to win. That's what happened to me. And don't get me wrong. I don't mind the finding items that will help you outside of dungeons just fine. But what isn't fair is that there is no indication that you needed the ice rod to beat the boss in Turtle Rock dungeon. You don't need it at all to progress through the temple, and there is nothing leading you there. This might be the only time this really happens (or maybe I just got lucky), but it's poor game design, full stop. It's unfair to the player imo to do that. Again. I don't mind that it had to be found outside of the dungeons. But if it is a NECESSARY ITEM there should be some story beat or something that leads you toward said item. I shouldn't be able to run through a whole temple, get to the boss, and realize I'm missing something.

I probably had more specific gripes, but these were the big ones. And I get some of this was probably on me; I'm not saying the game is absolute horse shit and terrible. But it really hasn't aged well. I like a hard game, but in places, this game felt unfair. I'm sure this is an improvement on the previous games (I only vaguely remember trying Zelda 1 and 2 and failing miserably as a kid), but, objectively, I don't see how anyone could say this is the best game in the franchise. To me, it's just dishonest because the following games have improved IMMENSELY on this one.]

[the-fiction-witch]

7th House Reed

Media Game Of Thrones

Character Jojen Reed

Couple Jojen X reader

Rating Sweet + spooky

Halloween day 7

I ventured through the thin corridors of grey green and black, The dark wood festering this damp smell, colours bringing thoughts of moss and mud. But that was to be expected here. I held the skirt of the dress in my hands so the hem avoided the wooden floor. As I walked I found myself straying from a straight line but this place always made me feel that way almost convinced the corridors and halls rocked but I was the only one to ever really notice. Soon enough I arrived at the sweet west chamber seeing the wooden door already open enough for me to enter without a sound. The room is sizeable with black wooden floors, half wood walls with noticeable repairs and fractures given the age of the house, the walls a painted grey-green, the ceiling wooden formed in arches to create the roof that was at its tallest in the centre, the only thing of silver stone the fireplace in the corner with its chimney of a similar mismatched stone, the fire roaring sending gold and red cascading across the room leaving shadows to dance in the dark, the large hand carved wooden bed across the side various green drapery hung from its wooden posts, the bed within made with light cream, green and black fabrics with a few dark green lizard lion skins draped across, a small silver fur at the foot as it hadn't been used much in this warmer weather.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the looking glass as I stood in my black boots with fur toes, my long green dress with slightly lighter green reeds and grass pattern barely visible in the fabric except in slight light changes, waistline at my underbust as this was my maternity dress with higher hems and fluffer fabrics to hide my ever-growing size, a square neckline which honestly didn't hide my still plump breasts with a rim of black fabric, long Juliet sleeves to my wrists in black fabric, My long y/c/h hair braided into so many strand braids I'd frankly lost count with a matching black ribbon braided in and used as a headband across the top of my head. But I caught a better sight as close to the small arched window were two figures. Jojen stood barefoot, dark green pants laced up tightly, his lighter green shirt loose even if it was tucked into his pants but still very loose around him, and in his arms on his hip sat little Olivander dressed only in a long green shirt his blonde hair fluffy fresh from his bath, giggling away as he rubbed noses with his father. The two didn't see me so I smiled happily watching them.

"Alright, time for bed little man" Jojen smiled giving Olivander's head a little kiss as he adjusted the blankets and furs inside the wooden crib and of course, Olivander began to wiggle "I know, I know, but it's bedtime." He said putting him into the crib and immediately he began to cry "Alright, alright, How's about a story then little man? yeah, would that make you happy?" He cooed "Alright then, A lovely little story for a lovely little man." He smiled "Once upon a time…" he began leaning on the crib to better see Olivander and to gently play with his fingers "In the land of Westeros sat a lovely place, beside the bite and southernmost of the north, The neck, Dividing the north from the rest of the seven kingdoms. And sat on the very edge of the trident is a swampy mashy black bog." He explained

"With lizard lions, snakes and poison kisses, dense thickets of trees that sit half-drowned and covered head to toe in pale fungus, the marshy water is thick and dark with quicksand below to quickly drown any who dare walk its waters," he explained "And here in this unforgiving place are the crannogmen, some call them bog devils, frog eaters and mud men. These crannogmen are reclusive souls who dwell in the deep deadly swamps, living in villages formed from reeds and thatch, like floating islands in the crannog mud, they seldom leave their lands choosing instead to fish and forage, for they are talented hunters and warriors. They wield nets, bronze knives, three-pronged frog spears and round leather shields all with a mastery of their monstrous terrain. They are known far and wide as being impossible to conquer due to their skills and poisoned weapons" he explained

"Crannogmen breathe water, have green moss-covered teeth and webbed hands and feet to resemble frogs say the river folk. Ironborn call them bog devils, more swamp than human, some in the north even say that the Crannogmen grew close and even wed children of the forest forever binding them with the earth and its magic." he explained "But those are merely stories, little boy, The truth is not so simple." he said "In this marshy muddy place rose a great house, lords of crannogmen this was Greywater said to be impossible to find as it floats on marshy waters protected by old green magic, Not even ravens can find greywater watch. I was supposedly built by the first marsh king. One of the first of men to Westeros, and first among equals. they say he was touched by the old gods, they say in songs that the old marsh kings would ride lizard lions and wield frog spears to hold moat cailin against those from the south who dreamed to take it. But the marsh kings are no more, the last slain by Rickard Stark the king in the north thousands of years ago, he took the marsh king's daughter for a bride. It is said in some circles that because of the marsh king's daughter, there is old green magic in the blood of all great houses now. Some much more than others."

He explained as Olivander was starting to drift to sleep holding his little lizard lion toy in hand as Jojen tucked the covers around him. "House Reed, has always sat as lords of Crannogmen, a noble house and principal of old northern families and the first men, We have held greywater watch and its lands since the defeat of the last marsh king, we are a small house but ill-forgotten." he said stroking little Olivander's face as he drifted away "You, my angel of a little boy, Are a Reed. Inside you is the blood of the first men, of marsh kings, of the old gods and greensight, of the children of the forest and the black lizard lions, of magic old and new, we swear by ice and fire. You're my son. Everything that I am and everything I have come from is in you, and everything of everyone who has come before you" He explained, "You're going to do great things, little man, you are destined for it." He said giving Olivander's head a small kiss "Sleep well the world shall wait for you" "You shouldn't tell him stories like that" I spoke up making Jojen jump a little "Ohh, there you are y/n. I was wondering where you were" He smiled hushed of course as to not wake Olivander as he came over and wrapped his arms around my waist "You shouldn't tell him stories like that, you'll scare him" "The world is scary little lady, he needs to know that." "Jojen. He's two" "My parents told me when I was his age" "Yes, I've been briefed on their parenting" I glared "I like telling him, it's our history, our family, not my fault all my history is kinda like a scary story" "I know, it's sweet, just… maybe not so spooky Jojen while he's little anyway" "I'll tone it down" he sighed "I suppose I have to it'll be a little too scary for little girl when she comes along" he cooed stroking my bump "Come on let's get you off you're feet" He said picking me up and carrying me to our bed where he tucked me in and sat on the edge stroking and kissing my bump "How is she today?" "She's fine, missed her daddy" "I've missed you both too" He smiled "You had any more ideas for a name for her?" "I have had a few ideas" I smiled stroking my bump too "Ohh enlighten me then?" "Jyana, Like your mother." I smiled moving my hand to sit on his "That's very sweet little lady, but you don't have to do that" "well we'll see, come on let's get some sleep"

[elialys]

OMG im so 🥺

That i have to talk...I'm in shock !

How can someone like Torv and not follow her teachings? Love others as they are!Yes she always said quote Helen is Anna Torv "I love you just the way you are"it should always be people's motto!

And another quote she left this year EMPATY...OK you Dont like the person but you have to respect.Then its ok leave...why criticize something if we have no comparison?

You don't do anything so so wrong unforgivable to a human and everyone sometimes make mistakes!

I am sometimes surprised and outrageous by people pointing the finger só easily at small things that they perceive differently and be silent or quiet at big problems around them or even looking at themselves! I'm just saying one thing.  Of all of us.... ALL of us, YOU were the one who dedicated the most time YEARS -DECADES, had the most patience (countdown the minutes of the 2 years without premieres? ) and fought for each series, each Anna Torv's work(things like uniting fans, posting videos, talking about her, supporting her unconditionally... Fauxlivia is still your protégé, right?🤭and fighting Helen Dale dont stop )... and for me it is extremely commendable and I admire you immensely for never stopping fighting and share Anna Torv!

Your neurodivergent brain may have flaws...but What brain don't have sometimes a little's error ?

NOBODY is Perfect right? And qualities as a fan fic writer, fan, woman, friend, caring, and empathetic you have and they are huge And guess what...people who prefer to criticize SHES A REALLY TREASURE !

I could list about more than 100 things you did that were important! And if you wanna i can make a list...my nerd brain remembers all good gestures 🥰

And this is for all there fans no fans humans that read...

When they criticize you...choose the other path...which Anna Torv has also advised...

FEEL PROUD OF EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE!  😍❤️

Thank you so much for your kind words, Maria ❤️❤️❤️

Honestly, I am genuinely at a lost as to why some people get so mad and unforgiving over honest mistakes, especially when I mean it when I say I never meant any harm, and will listen and change my behavior if it's not appropriate. I have been in this fandom for a very long time, and I've always tried my best to be nice, and to do better when I can do better. And anyone who takes the time to actually get to know me at all, unlike those people who have honestly been very closed-off from the start, knows that I'm the opposite of an asshole, and that my life motto literally is 'let's be kind and show empathy'.

I swear twitter puts a negativity filter on everyone's brain, they expect the worst of everyone. The fact that they thought I'd sent people after them to 'harass' them, when I wasn't even aware of what was going on until my friend reached out to me to tell me about it, at which point said friend had already gotten involved, just baffles me. I'm a 36 year old adult with bad social anxiety, I live my life hoping to avoid drama or situations in which people will get angry at me in any way. The last thing I would ever think to do is have that kind of vindictive behavior, especially about something I knew I could have handled better. But you can't have conversations with the twitter crowd, you just can't. They will assume the worst of you and that's it.

I haven't been on twitter for a couple weeks now, except to post fic links for my followers who care about them, and honestly, I don't know if I'll be back, not when there are a few people who seem to enjoy scrutinizing the things I do or say.

I still want to do the Anna project because I want her to receive love from her fans, but my anxiety about this is too high at the moment, and my brain a bit too unkind.

I'm very thankful for fellow fans like you, Maria, I mean that 😘😘😘

[apilgrimsjournal]

Clear As A Crystal

I have been asking the Lord to give me a clear indication about my recent decision. I was willing to recant what I said and admit how wrong I was if the Lord showed me reasons that I really did wrong. You know how much I prayed to you, Lord: “If that is the person you want me to marry, please give the clearest instruction that I made a wrong decision to say no to him and I will admit my fault, humble myself and love him as I ought to. No more wrestling and bargaining with You about my forgotten feelings. And awaken them once more.” I was even beginning to slowly regret my decision while waiting for Your answer because most people around me seem to all think that I should have said yes to him. After all, he is well known for his good repute and leadership in the church.

However, yesterday, he told me that he realized it was all infatuation on his part. “I realized I was more in love with the thought of you than the actual you.” He clearly said that and his feelings are gone. I was trembling in pain while listening to his words. I even asked again because I might have misheard him about being just infatuated but the answer did not change. He was just that. I could not hold back my tears while talking to him. My tears could not betray what was in my heart that I was shedding them as I talked to him. I was in shock, Lord. My chest tightened for I could not believe what I was hearing. He did and said all the right things. He professed his “love” for me to my leader and father. He even told it to my disciple. He recently just organized a party for my birthday. He gave me a book which was so hard to find and more time and efforts than I could recount. I could not understand how can anyone do and say such things only to realize it was shallow all along. After the call, I wept uncontrollably. I became more afraid and untrusting. My tears would not stop falling. I do not know which hurts more: being led to believe he loved me, believing he would accept me for who I really am, or being professed to be married to me one day. If I said yes, and he realized this in the middle of our relationship, I would have died a thousand deaths. Would he just go on with it until the end even after finding out that it was all infatuation because he could not turn his back to what he already professed? The horrors of what could have been! I even wonder if it was necessary that I heard that. He could have just told me he lost his feelings and would not wait for me anymore and be done with it. Even in the name of being honest, it was still somehow cruel. I know I hurt him but I was hurt way before he was. He knew how much I yearned for him before he even confessed to me. If that was a payback, I honestly believe I suffered enough from wanting to be with him. Do some men change for the unimaginable when they get hurt? I hope I am wrong on it. I just never imagined that of all people, he could be that cruel.

Just to be sure, I am not mad, angry, bitter, or even indignant at him. He is my brother in You, Lord. He is also my dear friend. I have no ill feelings and unforgiving heart toward him. He made a decision as I did and I respect him for it. If anything, I am glad and relieved. After years of liking and waiting, no more what ifs and maybes with him. What could be clearer? You answered my prayer the best way possible. He is and will not be my husband. That chapter is closed; the end of an era.

As to my future husband, I hope he comes to me after being found by the Lord first. May he be rooted and flourishing in the Lord before he is sent to me. At this point, I honestly could tell him that he is worth all the “No” I have been telling some men. I would not mind breaking more hearts if it means I will be with him. And I know he will be a man who is strengthened by trials and disappointments. His love will endure and grow ever stronger in those times because that is what I pray to the Lord that he becomes.

Now, I rejoice with the fact that the Lord answered my prayer specifically. I asked Him and He heard me. Thank you for confirming to me that I made the right decision that was ultimately from You. You see through hearts, hear conversations I do not, and know motives I cannot possibly perceive. Thank you for protecting my heart once again, Lord. Waiting and surrendering to You is the best decision I have ever made. Blessed is the man who makes You their refuge. A blessed resurrection Sunday it is!

[rookie-critic]

Rookie-Critic's Film Review Weekend Wrap-Up - Week of 3/26-4/2/2023

This was a bit of a short week. I'm really winding down from my big run of pre-Oscars binge-watching, and have been enjoying the last couple weeks of casual theater outings and video games. This was an interesting and eclectic trio of indie films, though.

Rodeo (2022, dir. Lola Quivoron)

This was a character study that showed a lot of promise. A deeply flawed protagonist that you still wanted to succeed. A very interesting niche subculture as the main subject matter of the film in the form of a group of underground motorbike and ATV riders, and a gripping handheld-camera shooting style all showed so much promise for this French drama from last year. However, I was massively disappointed in the film's ending, which seemed to throw away all of it's potential for something wildly and unnecessarily abstract. It felt like we were coming up on a climax that was going to be a great payoff for all of the film's plot threads, only for the film to fizzle out within a matter of five minutes instead. Roll credits, go home, nothing to see here. It's not as egregious as something like Smile, which not only threw away it's character development, but actively shattered a very pro-healing-from-trauma message in the process. This is relatively harmless in comparison, and the rest of the film was quite good up to that point, so I'll just say that I didn't hate it.

Score: 6/10

Currently available for pre-order on Blu-ray & DVD through Music Box Films.

The Lost King (2022, dir. Stephen Frears)

This was a harmlessly good time. Sally Hawkins, as always, is an absolute delight and commands the screen with her every movement. She is convincing and demands that you empathize with her character Philippa Langley. I am aware that this film has a fair bit of controversy wrapped around it in how it handles fact vs. fiction in this true story. The film paints a very villainous picture of the University of Leicester, and there are claims that this portrayal is wildly hyperbolic and inaccurate. Granted, everyone I've seen complaining about the portrayal is either a graduate or an employee of the University of Leicester, but on the flip side Philippa Langley is an executive producer on this film. I'm choosing to believe the way the film portrays things as accurate. It is a little on the nose, and I'm sure they weren't as cartoonishly evil as the film conveys, but I can see academia treating a woman suffering from ME as horrendously as they do in this film, and I can't see a director as seasoned as Stephen Frears (whose directed movies like Philomena and High Fidelity) making a film that's blatantly propaganda. I enjoyed The Lost King, it maybe wasn't the best, but people interested in the history of it will surely find a lot to like here.

Score: 7/10

Currently Only in theaters.

A Good Person (2023, dir. Zach Braff)

This a very mediocre film that is saved by two spectacular performances. I've never seen either of Zach Braff's other films (I consider Garden State to be a pretty big blind spot in my viewing history), but man, just based off of this, I'm not super impressed in his ability as a writer/director. The dialogue in the film is packed with filler and faux-drama, and the whole thing just seemed so unforgivably on the nose that I just couldn't get behind the characters for most of the film. The movie is obsessively concerned with you sympathizing with both of its central characters that at two separate spots in the film they each say the actual line "I'm a good person." It's would be eye-roll inducing if Morgan Freeman and Florence Pugh weren't acting their asses off, and they do act their asses off. It might honestly be the best performance I've seen out of Pugh, and I'm so bummed that she delivers it in a film that is so undeserving of it. I'm being incredibly harsh on this, so I will point out that I didn't hate it, and if the script wasn't sabotaging the film so often, it would be great, even. Braff touches on a lot of important, timely topics here, and occasionally gets you to care about what he's saying. I'll even admit to falling for some of the emotional manipulation and tearing up a couple times. Would I watch it again? Absolutely not, but I'm positive there's an audience for this out there. Maybe you're one of them.

Score: 6/10

Currently only in theaters.

[peaky-shelby]

OKAY HI

I still have plenty more commenting to do but just gonna put it out here cause I just need to say it lmao. I adore Taylor so so much. She feels like a very well rounded character with her flaws, strong points, insecurities etc. And its evident as well how both her and Kylian are so similar which is also why they butt heads sooo much. Both have an ego that’s backed up by their skills and both, altho aware of each other’s skills, just cannot full on 100% admit that (and they might not anytime soon even tho Kylian is slowly warming up to her).

But like ugh the circumstances that surround them is the real tragedy of their dynamic. The media, Taylor’s position at psg and being his literal boss, the whole JW blog thing, her own insecurities/fears with football and lord knows how much harsher the media is with women than men esp since Kylian is the Football Prince. There’s just so much at stake for her than him and that just means taylor might not ever be a hundred percent real with him. they can have all the moments they want behind closed doors but unfortunately a very real world is waiting outside for them that will be absolutely unforgiving (mostly for her).

Taylor already had to give up football due to something out of her control once before and sucks to see that this ‘relationship’ with kyks could cause her the same pain and I just don’t know how she will ever recover from that. It could cause a loooot of blaming Kylian (even tho he’s not really at fault) which in turn leads to him being a symbol of everything she lost (and everything she could achieve). Someone with a temperament like Taylor’s, that would be a very hard pill to swallow fam.

AND regarding that recent poll, (I know u didn’t ask for opinions!!) but fr I just do not see them having a happy ending. AT LEAST NOT RIGHT NOW. Maybe some years down the road where they don’t have such a huge impact on each other’s career and don’t have such heavy ties with each other. then they can also discover if they like each other because of who they are OR was it just a very intoxicating dynamic that rived up each other’s motors (lmao sorry I didn’t know how else to word it).

ANYWAYS SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT I HOPE SOME OF IT MADE SENSE. Reading New Romantics makes me feel like im back in literature class, analyzing every single word and I love it <3. Cannot wait for the next update and uhh yeah ily. Tag me pls <3

Me everytime someone takes the time to write a long review and theory:

EXCUSE ME MATE,,, YOUVE MADE MY HEART GOO BOOM BOOM AGAIN I LOVE YOU SM😭

I'm in awe of the way you understand the characters and pick on the details. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right and like i have to up my game at the same time. The things you noted are true, it's not about confirming or denying that the situation is very fragile, especially for Taylor.

Please keep ranting away because honestly this sort of messages melt my heart and get my brain going and also make me wanna do better for every single one of you that has wasted even a minute on my work.

Now about the ending obviously I'm not saying anything but anyone is allowed to send opinions and i love seeing them. If anything they are incredibly helpful.

Ones again, i appreciate you with all my heart. Your work is one of the first i read on this fandom so this means a thousand times more to me. Thank you for everything!!

Love you xx

[toothlesshat]

Been meaning to send this ask for a bit (before my last one, which I only sent because I saw that post of urs).

Anyways, I found u pre-posting ur "Of Leos and Leonardos" fic, where you were talking about making and posting that fic, so I got excited for it, and started checking back every so often to if you posted it, until you did!

So unto ur fic itself (the art u did of this fic and the Donnies one, was also super cute and colorful/vibrant too), honestly, ur characterization for the Leos (everyone really, but God, do I love ur Leos) in that fic, both in Ch1 and Ch2 (I loved seeing the reactions of everyone; they were so confused to see them getting along, considering 2012 Raph basically said to Rise Leo, that their Leo hated him, and basically everyone knew that).

I really liked how you went about their conflict and them getting closer. Because honestly, if 2012 Leo is going to be mad (and in this case, jealous and envious) of anything, it would be of the life Rise Leo has gotten to live and/or is living; that he had more chances at being a kid, and a more "safer" and freer life. Not that I can't see them clashing due to leadership stuff too, and different ways of going about things and etc., but I really liked this conflict and how you take into consideration both of their experiences, their different universes, personalities, and development. And it honestly just seems so in-character of a conflict for them to have. And I like how you show how smart Rise Leo can be (in this case, in reading people), and show very well well why 2012 Leo was being more harsh and mean in the beginning of the fic (too many fics can have him act way too out of character in that regard and just in general, Rise Leo too).

And like how you show Rise Leo as a more optimistic person (like how he kept trying to get to know 2012 Leo), though that also kind of makes me sad, because 2012 Leo himself used also try to see in the good people, and use to be more wide-eyed and naïve like Rise Leo (and also like Mikey; honestly, in most iterations, Leo and Mikey have a fair amount of similarities), until the world beat him into the ground.

The talk in the garden between them was also so good. And the part where 2012 Leo talked about his Splinter and/or father, just yeah, man, just yeah. I love 2012 Splinter, but God, the amount of pressure and stress and anxiety that Leo was put under in the series, just yeah, man, holy, poor Leo.

So yeah, I loved that fic so much; if ever did anything more between the two Leos like that, I would love to see it. Ask 1/2.

Oh my god thank you so much!! I swear I feel like I’m vibrating with excitement reading this ask because you read into the story so well and understood my intentions!! Wow oh my god!

I feel like you really understood what I was getting at with Leonardo’s character development. I completely agree that a lot of people portray him to be very harsh and unforgiving, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that at all, but those versions of him gave me the idea to explain and explore why. Leonardo is just a teenager under a lot of stress, of course he’s mean but he’s still the same kid he was when the show started, and that kid was so sweet and idealistic! Really, the fic was a big character study and my way of healing that part of Leonardo who lost himself by the end of the show.

And I know my portrayal of Leo is… not popular. Everyone kind of thinks Leo would throw himself into leadership after the movie and become more hardened over time. And once again, there’s nothing wrong with this, but the movie ends on such a positive note that I wanted to imagine his life can only get better from that point, which is why they take it easy with the patrols and such. I thought pairing him with Leonardo was a good idea for Leonardo so he could see that he doesn’t need to lose who he is just because he’s leader, he’s allowed to be himself.

If we’re being honest, I feel like the fic was mostly about healing Leonardo, and helping Leo accept himself. Of course, nothing is totally fixed, but they’re on the road to recovery now, and they have each other which is the most important part.

But yeah, the thing was that I could 100% not see these characters getting along, but I want them to be friends because there’s so much potential in it! They’re my favorite characters hands down, and writing the fic was just so special to me lmao. Thank you for the ask though because I love having any excuse to talk about this fic since I put so much into it :)

[bylertruther]

One would think Mike would be ecstatic on his first day in cali. He finally gets to see his gf and spend time with her. But no, Will was quiet and kinda moody and this has ruined the whole day. Ahahaha. When he said that during their argument, it made me laugh. how do you think Mike will react when he finds out El didn’t ask Will to do the painting?

he really said woooooow.... so you're really not gonna be obsessed with me? not only do you bring another girl's painting (which was our thing btw) to OUR reunion and have the NERVE to be hot now, but you also want to not laugh at my jokes or take my olive branch? how abt i step into traffic rn. wht if i slipped n sprained my ankle, will. then would u pay attention to me. i know that my girlfriend has been lying to me this entire time straight to my face, just got harassed by everyone in the roller rink and had that moment immortalized on tape, and ran off to cry somewhere alone, but you not paying attention to me is worse than all of that actually and tbh it's kind of unforgivable. LIKE MICHAEL PLEASE..... I KNOW U CALLED HIM ALL THE TIME AND NEVER GOT ANYTHING IN RETURN BUT STILL...... NOW IS NOT THE TIME AND I DON'T THINK WILL NOT TALKING TO U SHOULD BE UR PRIORITY IF U SUPPOSEDLY LOVE UR GIRLFRIEND MORE AND "CARE ABT [HER] SO MUCH"?! 🧐 but i digress.

honestly, i think it's going to snap his world in two. the painting on its own was not inherently romantic, but will's lies are what make it so. had he just given mike the painting and lifted his spirits, it would've been super touching but easily played off as "you're my best friend, of course i feel that way about you!" just like all of their other heart to hearts, like the crazy together one for example. but the fact that he used eleven's name is what makes it suspicious and it'll break his heart, because will lied to him. the first thing we're shown is that will can't and doesn't ever lie to mike even when it's to his advantage and even if the other party members are telling him to.

according to the script, mike knew that eleven didn't need him anymore because he saw it in her eyes. he feels this way and then will goes and fucks it all up by unknowingly giving him all these false ideas that don't apply to el at all. he isn't going to understand why will lied, especially about something that important, and then he's going to feel even worse because he was right!! and yet he listened to will anyway over both his own understanding and eleven's actions and words just because he trusts him that much.

mike tried calling will all the time despite will never calling him back. he tried to crack lighthearted jokes with will at rink-o-mania. he felt like he'd lost will because he was the one doing all the work and that's why he told him "maybe you should've reached out more, but why am i the bad guy?" (paraphrased). and still!! he doesn't let will take the blame when they make up!!! because he loves will that much!! he's the one that patches things up between them and he's the one that's been honest with will even when it was hard!! so for will to not feel like he can give him a painting despite mike literally having his room and his basement covered in his drawings as well as a binder is going to feel like such a punch to the gut in a "wow. i trust you with everything and you can't even trust me with something that used to be our thing? i thought we were best friends, a team, and yet you're lying to me?" like. the tragedy is that will thought he was doing something good for mike and eleven, and he doesn't realize that he just fucked it all up straight to hell. bc then mike is going to be like lol wow so no one really DOES need me cool cool cool love that for me love that my girlfriend AND my best friend both lied to me and felt like they couldn't be open and honest love that 🫠👍

like. it's just such a fascinating plot that can unravel any which way. he's going to be confused for sure. hurt. possibly angry, because we know he lashes out when he's overwhelmed. but he's going to be so hurt and confused. will is his best friend. his home. will never lies. so why after everything.... after everything that they've done, after everything that they've said... after how he treated eleven when she was lying.... why is he lying?

tl;dr homeboy is going to be so hurt and confused in a way he probably hasn't ever been before and it will be Glorious

[earthdeep]

it's been several years now since I finished writing the honorary gavin, and honestly I'm still very proud of it. it was definitely an important benchmark work for me, and it mostly holds up exceedingly well.

that said, I think with the benefit of hindsight and more years of longform writing, I can see its weakpoints with more clarity. I was never truly satisfied with parts of its ending, with how the final crime was stopped. back then, it made perfect sense and was congruent with the background plot while I was planning it out, but when it came to writing it, the limited narrator had no way of actually expressing any of that so the entire thing got lost. instead apollo got away by coincidence, and the final irony of kristoph's actions are disjointed from the rest of the case.

of course, it's been half a decade since then, and I've become a lot more practised at plotting with a limited narrator in mind. and now have a much better idea of how to fix it up. I'm putting the rest of this under a cut for both length and also spoilers. (if you're newer here, you may have not read my most popular work, so I am going to shamelessly shill it here, lol.)

so we're picking up late into the story, in chapter 38. apollo has gone to gavin law after hours to investigate kristoph's stalking, only to be caught by the man and knocked the fuck out. as far as I'm concerned, this is fine. he's drugged and shoved into a car boot, and kristoph drives him off. fun stuff.

now for how I would do it now.

apollo comes to, on the blurry edge of death, just in time to experience the vehicle he's in pulling to a stop, jostling him as it's parked partially on the curb. something is clearly wrong, as he can't quite wake himself up even with the help of the harsh motion.

the boot opens, and he's dragged out of the car like a sack of potatoes. kristoph doesn't say anything, but apollo can tell it's him, even with his hazy mind and the low light of background streetlights.

kristoph struggles to heft him down the street - short as he is, he's still a full grown man - but in his current state there's not much he can do to escape. he can barely interpret his surroundings, where his boss is taking him. ...people park?

but then, just as the threshold is crossed, apollo's is dazzled by a sudden burst of light. he slumps out of kristoph's grip and onto the floor as the man turns in surprise.

the gateway to the kitaki mansion is thrown open, light from the house spilling out around the silhouetted figures of the kitakis themselves. and they have god damn swords (which, for the record, are decorative antiques, officer, and perfectly legal to own thank you very much).

kristoph is on his own, unable to do shit as more minor Family members traipse out into the open, pissed from being woken by an alarm being raised. apollo is picked up, and the last thing he sees before the sleeping pills get the better of him is the cute fox logo of the kitaki bakery's company van.

apollo wakes up in hospital, to learn the equally unnerving facts that kristoph gavin has been admitted into police custody, and that he apparently threw up in the bakery van on the way over.

it's clear in court that kristoph can do little in his defence but attempt to discredit the kitakis via their shady past. but he can't hide how much he underestimated the family, and how they genuinely care for their own. so unlike his own regard for them as lucrative customers.

he completes the pattern. the pattern of failing to frame the kitakis for murder, and the pattern of apollo's victory. even if he didn't manage to put together the perfect case, the evidence snatched from his fingers by his assailant, he is safe now. and he has people who have his back.

coda. apollo's first case as an ex-member of gavin law is contesting the speeding fine big wins picked up while driving him to the hospital. it goes nowhere. the world of traffic law is a cold and unforgiving place.

[gcldensnitch]

💧🍊 ⭐📙 For Pandora, 💧🍋😊📙for nymeria, please

PANDORA ❤

What is the earliest memory your OC can recall? Do they know what their first words were or remember where they took their first steps? Do they have any mementos of their childhood they’ve kept such as a stuffed toy or tiny baby clothes?

pandora does not remember her first words or any special event, however her parents like to tell stories about her childhood! how she was a messy eater as a toddler or how she used to kick her younger brother after she lost a game. she adores warren, by the way! they cling a lot to each other and pandora, up until this day, still kisses his cheeks without any hesitation. the girl used to have tons of animal plushies on her bed, barely having any space left for her. and let me tell you, nobody was allowed to touch them!

What is your OC’s favourite meal? Snack? Dessert? Drink? Any reasons behind this besides liking how it tastes?What is your OC’s most hated food? Stuff they can’t stand to eat or drink?

this might be a surprise, but she loves healthy snacks such like fresh fruits. during quidditch practise she likes to eat apples and drink a lot of water. it's not like she does this on purpose or if she's on a diet– she just simply isn't into super sweet stuffs. she isn't a picky eater, tho!

What is your OC afraid of? Any crippling phobias or some such? How do they act when scared and what helps them calm down? Does anyone ever find your OC scary? Why?

she is TERRIFIED of losing her family! if she doesn't get a letter back from her parents in time, she starts to panic that something did happen back at home. it's kind of an unhealthy trait of her. she is an easy going, warm hearted person but she CAN get scary once somebody tries to harm her loved ones. fire is definitely part of her character as she would use any unforgivable curses withouth hesitation in order to protect them.

What kind of subjects (of conversation, of discussion, in school or whatever) does your OC find interesting or engaging or that they can talk for hours about? What kind of stuff do they just find fun?What things bore your OC to tears and they couldn’t care less about? Why?

i think it's safe to say that she is a quidditch fanatic 😂 she's pretty much updated on the teams and most recent matches. flying is her all time favourite subject in school. she tends to beg her parents to let her go to quidditch matches. also, to people who don't know her that well, it might a surprise: she is full of history of magic facts. we both know it's because of her parents lmao and potions is dead boring according to her

NYMERIA 💚

What is the earliest memory your OC can recall? Do they know what their first words were or remember where they took their first steps? Do they have any mementos of their childhood they’ve kept such as a stuffed toy or tiny baby clothes?

she remember it when she saw her two baby cousins for the first time! she adores them as if they were her own siblings. the two girls are both muggles and they attend regular schools but nymeria loves them so much! as kids they were always together. the three girls have a matching set of cat plushies which they used to sleep with 🥺

Does your OC act petty and jealous easily? What sort of things make them feel like this and do they experience guilt for getting so worked up? How do they deal with these emotions when they get them? If your OC doesn’t feel like this often, why not?

honestly, nymeria does get jealous! especially after becoming official with someone or an actually good friends. deep down she's afraid they will leave her behind just like her birth parents did and she wants to label them as "mine". but she doesn't really show it and hides it pretty well. maybe does some scary starring but nothing more than that. dealing with emotions is not her strongest point as she tends to ignore them... but once it all builds up, she lets it all out and breaks down crying. on her own, away from everyone. as an adult, she works on her communication and does share everything what's on her mind to maxim! her wrong judgement of the boy gave her a good lession lol

What can make your OC smile even when they’re feeling down? What cheers them up and makes everything feel better for them? Is your OC genrally a happy person and do they enjoy making others smile? What about your OC makes others happy?

as a teenager, her friends (the girl gang) is totally her source of happiness. and the letters she gets from home! later on, maxim is a huge part of it. they're like two puzzle pieces. and she's totally that type of person who is in love with her job! reaching the auror career is something she's proud of and she enjoys every single day.

she has a gentle and warm smile so maybe it's something that can make her loved ones happy!

What kind of subjects (of conversation, of discussion, in school or whatever) does your OC find interesting or engaging or that they can talk for hours about? What kind of stuff do they just find fun?What things bore your OC to tears and they couldn’t care less about? Why?

you know how Nymeria tends to get quiet, but she freaking adores duelling. it's like she doesn't have to share her inner conflicts yet still such an fun way to express her feelings. when she gets angry, her spells are more powerful and dangerous. she's also really talented in dada and charms! potions is something she doesn't really like but it's an important subject for the auror career so naturally, she takes it very seriously.

[neon-knights-mercenary-company]

For the ask game:

🔵🔴🟠🟣💛💳💰🌼🔫🛸

( via @is-the-battlemech-cool-or-not )

Draggin in Ags to answer these with me, sinca ya didnt specify and i feel like annoyin her

🔵 What factions (that you do not belong to) do you respect? Why?

R: I respect the fuck outta House Arano. They were my first employers, and Lady Arano was as fine a leader as a monarch could ever be- and I don't mean that as an insult like i usually do . She treated us right and made sure we not only got paid well but were rewarded for shinin' in the field.

A: I fought briefly alongside the 2nd Sword of Light before I left the DCMS. They were consumate professionals and were gracious enough to teach me some of the old tricks they used to keep up with the SLDF Gunslingers.

🔴 What factions (that you do not belong to) do you disrespect? Why?

R: Fuck the Marian Hegemony. I aint elaboratin.

A: Forgive Rowan, her past from before she joined the company isn't something she enjoys speaking on.

As for myself, I hold no respect for the Clans... of my time, Rowan insists I add. The Clans of today... The jury is out until I get back home to Rasalhague.

🟠 Is there an extinct faction you wish to see brought back in some form? Why?

R: The St. Ives Compact. I fought like hell to help Candace get them off the ground, and I aint gonna lie it hurts a bit that they didn't last.

A: The Free Rasalhague Republic. And I aim to see it happen in my lifetime.

🟣 What are your top 3 favorite planets you have visited, if you have visited multiple worlds?

R: sure, firstly is Canopus- 's where i got my tits, 'nuff said. Zwei? Gonna say Herotitus. The 'Knights based outta there for a while after the Arano Restoration, and its where i'd say i really went from being a regular mechjock to someone with a real modicum of talent. More importantly, its where i picked up a good bit of periphery merc culture and pride. Three, is Coromodir. Aside from being a beautiful planet, its where I made 'mech ace of aces in a single day. I've also got a *lot* of good memories there celebratin' our victory with Fursona's Fusiliers. Just ask @is-the-battlemech-cool-or-not

A: To engage with the spirit of the question, I will leave out Rasalhague's worlds. The deserts of Vega are beautiful, in a harsh and unforgiving way. Solaris is a thrill, and I'd like to return one day to compete again. Lastly, Terra herself. All that there is to love in the galaxy can be found in some manner on Terra. Also, she has the most beautiful moon in the universe.

💛 What do you currently pilot?

R: Haters will call it a frankenmech, but I call it a sweet fuckin' rig. These Boots is a Marauder MAD-3D at base, but one of her arms were shot off and replaced with a Mad Cat's, another with... some other clan mech? I honestly don't know. She's got TSM, a supercharger, and enough jump juice to help me live up to my callsign Kingfisher. Also, talons baybe!

A: I pilot a Highlander HGN-732, with many parts upgrades to bring it closer in line with the -732b. It's name is Deadeye Dancer, and it lives up to it.

💳 If you are/were a mercenary, who is/was your most and least favorite client?

R: I'd say House Arano, but honestly... It's whatever little two-bit periphery settlement that needs to fend off pirate or dipshit vulture lord raids, and barely have the cash to pay for the scorched armor. If i could somehow keep my company going, only working for them, I would do so with zero regrets.

A: Back in 30...30? We took a contract in the Taurian Concordat, and I did not expect to enjoy my time working with them as much as I did. They are consummate professionals, and will give you wild discounts on equipment if you promise to kill some Davions with it.

💰What was your dumbest and/or smartest purchase?

R: I once bought an industrial mech on a dare- bet a prick on Solaris that I could win about in the Class Six arena with one. I came in second, which still was a lost bet. And there went *way* too many C-Bills... For my best purchase? An old "pile of junk" Shadow Hawk SHD-2H. Turns out, someone way back when put in some aftermarket upgrades, and we ended up pulling an LB-10X and a few Freezers out of it. A pretty Big Fuckin' Deal for 3027.

A: I once got a.... very unfortunate tattoo while out drinking with the other officers of the unit on Canopus. My best purchase was bottle of genuine tequila from Terra that I managed to expense to Hanse Davion's personal bank account. Though, I do suppose that means I was not the one who purchased it.

🌼 For Inner Sphere characters, what do you think of the Clans, in whole or in part?

R: Spoke with Melissa about this, but long story short? The Clans were awful ugly before I misjumped, but Melissa promises me they've mellowed out and are getting better, and I trust her. Still gonna have some biases, though, so please do call me out on them when you see it.

A: The last I saw of my homeworld, we were retreating after Clan Wolf invaded. It is a moment etched into my heart in fire. The continued occupation of my people is a matter I will address to my own personal satisfaction. But the SLDF we have encountered thus far have been surprisingly tolerable. I find myself willing to give the benefit of the doubt, with the express exception to those whom occupy the free people of Rasalhague.

🔫 If you can fight in non-vehicular combat, what weapons do you favor?

R: You can't go wrong with a bog-standard ballistic assault rifle of any era. Well, you can- they're kinda shit compared to some of what else is out there. But I love them for it. They're like the Urbanmech of small arms.

A: I favor submachine guns, but I prefer to fight only long enough to get to a mech or a tank.

🛸 Is there a "canon rumor" theory (e.g. hyperspace weirdness, aliens, Phantom 'Mech Ability, time travel, alternate universes, the Lost Cameron) that you believe in? Or perhaps have experienced?

R: it's ridiculous, really, but there's this rumor goin' around that I fucked The Last Cameron- [MUFFLED THUDS]

A: No. Bad Rowan.

As for myself, I have seen the Phantom Mech phenomenon in action. I fought alongside Yorinaga Kurita in several skirmishes, and whatever boon or curse he bears... It is real.

[owlixx]

CoD 2 Down and Big Red One Started Notes:

The American campaign of CoD 2 ended up being so so. I think the best part of the last few levels was defending Hill 400, it almost felt like playing zombies with how insane it was. But otherwise it felt like filler honestly. I just did this yesterday and I am really struggling to remember much of anything from this. I remember doing a lot of sniping in grassy areas? And retaking a town house by house. I do think it’s funny that this game has open combat missions not so different from MW3 (2023)‘s.

Most of what I remember is from starting CoD 2: Big Red One. Now I finally know what the big red one actually is! It’s the red colored logo of a number one used by the fighting first division, not a large red tank or man or dog. Anyways, this game is a heck of a lot better than Finest Hour if only for being physically possible for me to get past the tutorial of.

The characters are extremely chatty, which is fine since the voice acting is pretty good for the time, but the writing is very cliche. Still, it makes this game feel more like a real war movie and less like a contextless slog. I really enjoyed getting to use the “MAS” series of SMG, rifle, and AR/LMG in North Africa, which I’ve never seen in a game before! Also neat that this is technically the first Treyarch CoD even before CoD 3.

It sucks to be back down to potato graphics, clunkier controls, and no regenerating health and still no sprinting…BUT the controls/graphics are much more modern than Finest Hour and this is the first of these games where I feel like I actually have enough ammo most of the time. I think my biggest complaint so far is the lack of mid-level saves, but levels aren’t too long so it isn’t a problem for now. If something crashes or goes wrong though…it could kill the playthrough. I’m only playing this to the end if no major obstacles present themselves. I’m currently six out of 14 levels down.

The tank mission wasn’t bad. I really appreciated that my health came all the way back when I respawned at a checkpoint or else it might’ve been impossible. Generally I haven’t got lost or super stuck anywhere yet. I’m on easy mode but I still die pretty fast if I play like a moron. It’s a little hard to aim but not impossible and having a scope helps a lot. I think there’s some primitive aim assist occurring for sure but it’s a lot clunkier than the modern games still. I am a little disappointed by how weak the M1 Garand reload sound is in this game. I also occasionally get frustrated having to wait for the AI to catch up and open a door for me, especially when I die and retry a section, and especially because of the relatively unforgiving checkpoints in this game. The real CoD 2 has a dynamic checkpoint system but this game seems to only have a handful of checkpoints per level at static points.

Also every level ends with this hilarious blurry silhouette of a solider against the sunset next to a palm tree. I think it’s meant to invoke North Africa, but it just makes me think of Vietnam every time which is super jarring.

Oh, I did try to play 1 online match of CoD 2 on PC on a server with bots, but I kept getting sniped by real humans. It was funny to see XP and sprinting modded into the game though. Also funny that even the vanilla multiplayer has a trench gun shotgun that does not appear in the single player.