#but the bad has started to outweigh the good I guess

[arzner]

It's Pride this weekend (I don't know why but it's always in August here) and I've skipped every event so far, but I'm still debating about going to the parade. I just am not feeling it... Every year I get more and more irritated about the whole situation and how it's been increasingly catering to everyone but gay people (and at the expense of us), but I've always still gone to at least the parade and maybe another event. It feels really sad to skip it entirely tbh because I've gone every year (aside from the one year it was canceled because of COVID) since I was in high school, but it's just deeply disappointing to see what it has become...and I've been feeling that so acutely lately :(

[xxkissesforchanniexx]

𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐮���� 𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐈𝐈𝐈

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐖𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡: 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐁𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐈𝐈 | 𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐈𝐕

Pairing: demon!chan x reader x demon!minho Genre: Smut (and a ton of plot for once) Word count: 8.5k Warnings: almost dying, manipulative felix, whole ton of plot, p in v sex, unprotected sex, harassment (not by the boys), minor character death, suicide, very brief dry humping, degrading, fingering, lazy depictions of blood, marking again >.>, etc... (i think i got them all sorry if i missed something. not proofread... i got lazy im sorry

A/N: I'm really trying to work on how i write scary things and describe situations sooo bear with me if the parts that would be "scary" are varying in intensity. i'm gonna cry cus my power went out and the desktop shut off so i lost my SMAU.... i'll post it tomorrow i guess.

Shadows of forgotten reap. They hound and haunt the weak. Those who wish to wield the devil's wrath forget not all the patient are safe from the aftermath...

You woke up late. Again. Walking into the office you saw your coworkers giving you sideways looks. Yeah, you were screwed. You sat at your desk and were about to start working when your boss, Mr. Cho, walked past your desk.

Everyone greeted him but as he passed he tapped your desk and motioned for you to follow him.

Jaehwa gave you a wide eyed look. Soojin crossed her fingers. As you trailed behind the man to his office your shoulder brushed Juwon's. He looked at you for. a moment before he kept walking.

Mr. Cho opened the door and motioned for you to enter, you took a deep breath and walked in. He closed the door and motioned for you to sit in the chair across from his desk before he finally... FINALLY spoke.

"Ms. L/n..." he hummed softly, looking at some papers on his desk as he sat down. "You're very good at what you do."

"Thank you sir." You nodded slightly.

"Being good at something doesn't warrant your recent performance though..."

"Oh-"

"I'm not done." He looked at you with a very irritated expression. "The rumors going around are also a major workplace disturbance, I will be having a similar conversation with Mr. Yu."

You bristled Juwon had taken the rejection and gone what rumors could there possibly be, "Mr. Yu has nothing to-" You started.

He raised a brow at you.

You went quiet.

"I don't think you understand what I'm trying to convey." Mr. Cho, leaned forward, clasping his hands on the desk. "I'm going to fire you."

Your eyes went wide. "Mr. Cho I-"

"You've done a great deal for our company and our news but your terrible performance now far outweighs what you've done here n the past." He shrugged. "There's nothing I can do."

"Mr. Cho, I- You don't understand how badly I need this job! I can take more hou-"

"Ms. L/n." He smiled slightly. It was an unsettling smile that made you feel icky. "You're a beautiful young woman. You don't really need this job based on the rumors your boyfriend is incredibly well off."

"Mr. Cho I'm not going to rely on a man to take care of me." You clenched your fists under the desk.

"Then I can't help you."

You bit your lip and sucked in a frustrated breath.

"Unless.."

You looked up.

"As I said before Ms. L/n you're a very beautiful young woman with such... potential." He stood and walked around the desk, resting his hands on your shoulders. "I can help you keep this job.. at a cost."

You stiffened. "Excuse me?" You stood, turning to face the man.

"I know you're not stupid, Y/n." He leaned in close, " You know exactly what I'm talking about."

You stared at him. This man...

"Choice is yours." He breathed, hot breath against your face.

This man was a depraved fuck. You moved from between him and the desk, trying to go to the door.

He grabbed your forearm. "Y/n I'm offering you the bet thing I can at the moment."

You let out a dry laugh. "If you think I'm doing that you're crazy."

"How bad would it look if the board knew you jumped into Juwon's bed after one drink?" He pulled you back to him. "You need this job Y/n. How long do you think that boyfriend of yours is going to be there?"

You wrenched your hand away. "You can't say a thing about-"

"This is your only chance at having a job." He grabbed at your waist.

You shoved him. "Mr. Cho. Don't hurry in firing me. I'll submit my resignation." You turned and walked out of the office.

Soojin was waiting for you outside. "What happened?"

You didn't say a word as you grabbed your things and went to the elevator.

"Y/n!" Jaehwa ran to you from his desk.

"Girl-" Soojin started.

"I'll see you guys around okay?" You snapped as you slammed the button on the elevator to go down.

"What happened in there?" Jaehwa pressed gently.

"It doesn't matter." You felt the tears welling in your eyes.

"Y/n."

You looked up at the sound of Juwon's voice. He looked guilty..

"I'm sorry- why are you cryi-" He started.

"Leave me alone damn it!" You shouted. "Are you happy?!"

"Come on I didn't want this to happen!" He reached for you.

You pulled back. "Stay the fuck away from me Juwon!"

The elevator doors finally opened and as you were about to storm in and close them you were staring right at a dark suit, straining against hard muscle. You looked up at Chan.

He looked right past you at Juwon.

Jaehwa's mouth fell open as did many passersby as they saw Chan.

"Chan-" You started but he grabbed your hand and pushed past Juwon, walking straight through the cubicles and to your boss's office.

Your boss looked up from his work as Chan threw the door open. The man's eyes widened for a brief moment as he saw you being dragged by Chan. "Can I help you?" He asked.

Chan stared at Mr. Cho before closing the door.

You tensed, "Cha-" You tried to grab the enraged demon but before you could he was looming over your boss.

He muttered something in the man's ear and you watched as Mr. Cho froze in fear. Chan turned around and grabbed your hand again, dragging you out of the office and to the elevator. "You don't need this." He grabbed your work ID card and tossed it on the floor.

He jammed the button for the elevator to go down and pulled you in.

Juwon sprinted to the elevator and Chan smiled as the doors closed. He looked at you. "You don't ned this job. You'll live with me."

"With you?" You looked up at him. "In that hell house??!"

"Hey!" Chan huffed. "I built that house with my own mind."

"You're a psycho." You muttered, hugging yourself.

Chan frowned at you. "I'm a maniac, there's a difference."

You laughed slightly and Chan smiled at you.

You were sitting in your apartment, staring into space the next day when the bell rang. You stood expecting it to be Chan telling you start packing but as you approached the door, hand outstretched to the doorknob, your tattoo burned.

Don't open it...

You bit your lip and stared at the door, you relaxed after a moment and turned to go sit back down. But the bell rang again.

You didn't move and held your breath for a moment. Then you heard the banging on the door.

"Police. Open up."

You froze. Why? You were about to open the door when the tattoo sent a burning pain up your neck and down your arm and back. You couldn't make a sound and held onto the wall.

Do NOT open that door.

You slid to the floor in pain, trying to stop the pain. It was excruciating, like your skin was being burned off. You half walked, half dragged yourself to the bathroom and tried to reach the sink.

You crumbled at the bathroom door and almost, almost screamed, you felt like you were on fire. Your vision darkened and when you opened your eyes again you saw a room you hadn't before.

A hallway on fire. At the end of the hallway stood an angel, wings spread wide, his back was to you, all you could see was his blonde hair.

You walked towards him, the walls were going up in flames but there he stood. As the flames began to lick at the beautiful feathers of his right wing. You shouted at him, urging him to run, flee the flames of hell fire, but no sound out.

The flames completely enveloped his right wing, devouring the soft feathers and scorching the limb to the bone.

He crumbled clutching his right shoulder as the skin singed. And the wing.. fell to ashes..

He squeezed his shoulder, the burnt skin raw jagged bone where his wing once was remaining, jutting out of the burned flesh. And then he whipped his head around to face you.

The angel was him. The man in the flower field, freckled face, blonde hair and all.. but his eyes. One beautiful, vibrant blue eye and one black as the void between your world and that of Chan.

You reached for the angel, but arms wrapped around you followed by four big black feathered wings and you were drawn back.

Your head was pounding. And someone was screaming crying.

"Y/N!" a woman's voice, you knew this voice all too well.

"Y/N! WAKE UP!" A man.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?!" And the deepest voice you'd ever heard.

Your eyes flew open and you sat up.

Soojin grabbed your hands. "Y/N! Calm down!"

You stared around frantically. Soojin, Jaehwa, that freckled face...

The doctor came up to you and started looking you over.

"Y/n." He kneeled beside your hospital bed. "Are you okay? What happened?" he reached for your hand.

The door to your room opened. Chan stood there, eyes wide, he looked scared. But his expression went from panic to anger. His eyes drifting from you to the freckled man.

He stood and looked at Chan. Soojin looked between the two men.

Jaehwa cleared his throat. "How is she doc?"

"She's fine." The doctor put her stethoscope away. "Who's in charge of her?"

The freckled man opened his mouth but Chan quickly interjected. "Me. I'm her boyfriend." He moved past the freckled man to your side and took your hand.

"I see, I can't identify exactly why she passed out but just make sure she's taking enough fluids and isn't overworking herself. If she feels dizzy, bring her back in, alright?"

Chan nodded. "Thank you doctor."

"My pleasure." The doctor nodded and left the room.

Chan looked at the freckled man.

The freckled man looked from Chan to you and back at Chan.

Chan's eyes narrowed.

"I'll take my leave." the freckled man looked at you.

"Soojin. Jaehwa." You smiled at your friends. "I'm fine. You guys can go."

Soojin walked to the other side of your bed and hugged you. "If you say so.."

Jaehwa smiled. "Take care of yourself."

You nodded and smiled.

Chan looked at you as Jaehwa closed the door behind him. "You've seen him."

You looked into Chan's eyes. "What is he?"

Chan bit his lip. "The only one of us who didn't fall all the way. Stay away from him."

You were in your apartment packing a week later, when Soojin came knocking on your door. She took you back to your old office to collect your things. You were siting through what was important to you and what wasn't when Soojin sighed.

"What is it?" You looked at her.

"You didn't hear the news?" She raised a brow before shrugging. "Then again you were fired-"

"Quit. I quit." You corrected her.

"Yeah sorry." She laughed. "But... Mr. Cho killed himself..."

Your eyes widened. "What...?"

"He hung himself in his house apparently, his mistress found him dead and called his wife." Soojin shook her head. "It's sad though, he wasn't a good guy but he was good at managing this place."

"He..." You sat on the floor, staring at the box of your things. You remembered how Chan whispered in Mr. Cho's ear, how Chan scared the man who was harassing you with one stare, how Chan made the freckled man leave.. He didn't... right? He wouldn't....

"Look... whatever made him do that... it must have been a lot.." Soojin closed a box and slid it to you. "We can't be happy he's dead, you can't wish that on anyone..."

You stared at the box of your things and sighed before putting on the lid. "He should rest in peace."

Soojin helped you carry a box down while you carried the other, putting them in her car before driving you back home. You smiled at your fried as you got out of the car and walked back to your apartment. You got in the elevator to go up to your floor ad as you got in a man with baseball cap pulled lower over his face entered.

You didn't think much of it, staring at the number going up on the little screen above the elevator door instead. 2... 3... 4... 5... 6....

The bell dinged at floor 14 and you got off, walking to your door and entering your apartment before locking the door behind you.

You looked at a package on the floor and picked it up, the address read, Lee Sungjin, Staaa St, Apt 153, Seoul, Korea.

You sighed, they always sent the neighbors packages to your apartment, what would Ms Lee downstairs do without you. You set the package on your counter and decided to give it to her the following day. You took a shower to relax before going to wipe the steam from the mirror.

As your palm pressed to the damp glass and you swept it across your eyes widened. The man with the baseball cap was in your mirror behind you. You whipped around only to be greeted by the wall.

"I'm paranoid." You muttered, deciding to brush your teeth and get some sleep. As you got into bed you heard a tapping on your window and glanced at it.

Probably a bird. You shrugged and got into bed.

Another tapping, louder now, and faster, as if whatever was tapping was trying to get your attention. You were about to get up when the tattoo burned. You grabbed it.

Don't go to that window.

The freckled man flashed through your mind for a minute. No... it's something else...

For a brief moment you debated forcing yourself to sleep and running until you found Chan, but then you immediately decided against it. You tilted your head slightly to see what was behind the glass, what could possibly be on the fourteenth floor tapping on your window if not a bird.

You stayed back from the window, easing your body to the end of your bed to see out of the window to your right.

As the full view of the window came into view you relaxed, there was nothing there.

BANG!

You jumped and shrieked, at the mutilated face in your window, skin charred and body shriveled. It slammed its hand on your window, no longer interested in luring you with its tapping.

You fell back off the bed and scrambled into the corner as it banged on the window desperately trying to get in.

You covered your ears and closed your eyes before arms wrapped around you.

"Sssshhhhh..." That lazy, tired voice said softly. Your eyes grew heavy and before you fell asleep you looked up at the man, he had a pretty face, chubby cheeks and eyes like a starry night.

You glanced at the window as you heard it shatter.

"Sleep... I can only help if you sleep.." he breathed.

And you buried your face into his chest and shut the world out before your mind gave into sleep.

You blinked the sleep from your eyes as you heard piano music. You sat up straight, looking around, you saw Chan at the piano, his hair dark unlike all the other times you'd seen him in your dreams.

"Can you play?" He asked, back turned to you.

"No.." You said softly.

"Come." he motioned for you to sit with him.

You walked to him and sat, he took your right hand in his left and set it on the keys. You turned to him. "I can't play.."

"Doesn't matter. Hit the keys like a mad woman if you want.." He smiled gently.

You blinked several times before pressing a random key. You moved your hands along the keys tapping black and white keys just smiling at how the notes melded together in a chaotic sound.

Chan watched you for a moment before finally saying, "You know I want to protect you right..."

Your hands froze.

"There's so many things I want to show you.."

There was a pause, in which you wanted to ask him. But he couldn't have. Not aft-

"I know what you're thinking and what you want to ask." He whispered.

You looked at him. "Did you?"

"No." He sighed. "I don't kill people pointlessly. Even if I wanted to.."

"I knew you couldn't have..." You relaxed.

He tilted his head. "Then why were you wondering?"

"You and your brothers are unpredictable is all." You laughed at the look on his face.

"Maybe I should be more predictable so you aren't always on your toes." He smiled, not a prideful smirk or a small shy smile but a real teasing smile and your heart fluttered. He took your hand in his and whispered, "I know it seems like we don't care but trust that we do.." He brought your hand to his lips and kissed it gently before muttering. "And I will protect you myself. No matter what.."

You stared at demon in front of you. He looked so human to you, so natural and real as you reached your hand out and caressed his cheek.

He leaned into your touch and opened his mouth to speak but you kissed him before he could get a word out. He relaxed and kissed you back, pulling you against him.

You gasped softly as he fell against your bed, you straddling him, he looked up at you, his pretty dark eyes locked on yours. He laid there beneath you only in a pair of sweatpants, his hands were set on your thighs, thumbs gently tracing circles. You touched his chest hand moving lower to his chiseled abdomen.

"Are you just going to admire me?" He laughed slightly.

You rolled your eyes and leaned down, your lips meeting in a tender kiss that he quickly turned hot and passionate, tongue forcing it's way into your mouth. You moaned softly and felt the smirk growing on his lips before he flipped you over, smiling down at you. He pulled your shirt off your body, lips going to assault your neck. For a moment you stared at the window but Chan grabbed you face and made you look at him.

"it's gone." He muttered, "It's just us." He looked into your eyes. "They know not to touch what's mine when I'm here." He moved lower kissing your abdomen and down to your thighs nipping at the skin.

You let out a soft sigh grabbing his hair. Chan pulled off your pajama pants and kissed your clothed heat before dragging the panties off your legs. His lips wrapped around your clit, as he eased two of his fingers into you. You let out a soft cry squirmed, his free hand came up to hold your hip.

You whined and bucked but he held you firmly, the hand moving to press down on your center. "No.." He said lowly.

The vibrations drew a moan from you and Chan hummed, fingers moving slowly, aggravatingly so. You whined and bucked slightly.

He looked up at you, "Say please."

"Your ego is so huge." You muttered.

"I'll take that as a compliment." He smiled.

You rolled your eyes. "Please.."

"Good girl." He pulled out his fingers and kissed your stomach, climbing on top of you.

You tugged at his sweats and he smiled removing them with your assistance before kicking them off his legs and to the floor. He kissed you gently as he sank into you.

You whimpered at the stretch and he smirked slightly. "Too big?"

You bucked your hips up to his. The demon gasped and glared at you.

You smiled innocently. Chan smirked and muttered. "I'll take that as a no.." He gripped your hips and pulled out before slamming into you again, your body jerked up the mattress as he set a brutal rhythm, fucking into you hard. You moaned and gripped the sheets.

Chan's hand found yours and pressed it into the mattress, the sound of skin smacking skin filling the room as his cock bullied into you. "Look at me when I'm making you cum." He muttered, leaning down, his lips hovering over yours.

You looked up into his eyes and your pussy clenched. He groaned and let go of your hand in favor of holding your face gently. "So tight.. so perfect..." He grunted against your lips before kissing you hard. His tongue clashing with yours, swallowing your cries as he moved faster, spiking your g-spot again and again.

His hand moved to grip your throat gently. "So pretty.." he pulled back, "Are you going to cum for me? Show me how much you love taking my dick?"

You nodded, mewling as his grip tightened slightly on your throat, not to hurt you just to keep you in place, yet your hands still flew up to grip his wrist and forearm, for something to ground you as he plowed into you.

"Cum for me." He moaned o low it came out in almost a growl.

Another buck of his hips sent you toppling over the edge and he let himself fall over you, grinding into you as he reached his peak with you. Groaning and muttering, "You did so good for me..." he kissed your cheek gently and pulled himself off you, rolling onto his side and hugging you to his chest.

"Thank you.." You muttered softly.

He looked down at you, "What for?"

"For always saving me." You kissed his pec and watched in the moonlight pouring in from your window as his ears turned red.

You giggled.

"There's really so much I want to tell you." he said quietly.

"Why not tell me now?" You poked him.

"Because I don't think you're ready yet." He said simply.

"Oh but fuck me why don't you." You rolled your eyes slightly.

"Should I?" He smirked at you.

"Not literally-" You started but he kissed you, effectively shutting you up.

You woke up the next morning and found Chan next to you, hair a mess, peacefully sleeping. You took him in, you caressed his face gently, and took a moment to just admire him.

His eyes opened slightly and he said softly, "I can feel you staring, y'know."

Your face got hot. "That's not fair! You can't jus-"

Chan kissed you gently and smacked you with a pillow before sprinting to your bathroom. He poked his head out and stuck his tongue out at you before closing the door.

You stared in shock for a moment, pulling the blanket over your chest. When did he become so playful...

You crumbled to your knees outside the apartment. You saw the blood plastered on the wall, in an ugly horrendous smelling, splat. Your hands immediately flew to your face and you dropped the package, one of the police walked out and grabbed you. "You shouldn't be here ma'am-" He started.

Your eyes widened, silencing the man as one of his fellow officers said "We found her.."

You felt sick to your stomach at the sight of her, eyes gone, the jaw slack open like the bones connecting her jaw were broken, you were about to pass out at the sight of her body from the breasts down burned.. shriveled like- a memory of the thing at your window a few days before flashed in your mind as you fell and Chan caught you.

"Y/n..." He shook you slightly.

You remembered the man in the elevator, how he hid his face. The thing in the window, the way you felt the hands round your throat. You trembled. And whoever killed Mr. Cho..

Chan shook you again and you looked at him. He took in your face for a moment before he looked up, eyes widening, he held you a little tighter, his eyes emitting a violet glow. You heard his voice in your head before you reached for him.

Something was here.

You didn't move a muscle. You had never seen Chan like this. Even with the whole Juwon situation. He looked genuinely concerned and the aura of possessiveness you felt radiating from him was almost overbearing.

It's not safe here...

You looked up at him as he lifted you in his arms. Why wasn't it safe? What happened to Ms. Lee? Why was Chan acting like this?

We'll come back for your stuff another day.

Soemthing told you to pick up the package and as you moved to do so Chan swept it up and moved to carry you away when a police officer stopped him.

"May I ask you two a few questions?"

Chan looked at him for a moment. "She's in shock. Try again later." He tried to move past the policeman.

"Sir, this woman came here as if knowing something happened."

You stiffened and Chan lowered you to your feet, stepping between you and the officer.

"Chan-" You started but you felt it again, the overbearing possessive aura radiating off him.

"She doesn't know anything." Chan said lowly.

The policeman's eyes widened slightly before he relaxed. "Whatever you say.." He moved aside.

Chan pulled you behind him briskly. You looked back at the policeman but he was gone. You blinked in confusion for a moment and turned to look at the demon dragging you. "Wha-"

"There's no time." Chan said before pressing the down button on the elevator. "It's not safe here anymore."

You were about to ask why but he pushed you into the elevator and pushed the button to your floor. As the elevator when down one floor Chan ushered you into the hall and you grabbed your keys about to start looking but then you saw him. The man with the baseball cap, only now you could see his eyes from under the hat, completely black with thin red slits. He turned to you completely but Chan put you behind him and stared daggers at the man in front of your door.

Chan backed up to the elevator and pushed the button to go down.

You looked at him as the elevator descended to the ground floor. "What-"

Chan looked at you. "You... are a very valuable human."

You leaned against the railing of the balcony of your hotel room. Chan had left you here while he got everything else ready for your move to his house. You stared at the city lights below, it was a very expensive hotel, and despite your protests that a less lavish place would be better Chan refused stating the security knew you and would defend you very well.

You hugged yourself for a moment, thinking about everything. Mr. Cho's suicide, how brutally Ms. Lee was murdered, the thing you saw outside your window that night, the man with the baseball hat standing outside your apartment. You looked at the package in your hands.

"I've been looking for a minute to catch you alone." a deep voice said behind you. That deep voice.

You turned to look at the freckled man, the angel. He took a step towards you and you took a step back, holding the package tightly

"Are you afraid of me?" He reached for you but hesitated, eyes flicking to the mark on your neck.

You didn't answer, debating if you could sprint past him back into your hotel room.

"I wouldn't do that." He smiled sweetly. "Let's just talk okay?"

You dodged as he reached to touch you again. "I'll scream..."

"What has Chan told you..." He walked towards you.

You took a step back and then you were pressed against the railing. "What's important."

"Has he?" The man took another step and you tensed. "You have no where left to go but down. So, let's talk. So neither of us fall."

"What do you want?"

"Don't you want to know why those things are looking for you?" He lifted his hand and a leather book appeared in a cloud of black. He held it out to you. "Don't you want to know what Chan did to you?"

The mark on your neck burned. You looked at the book and then back at the... what was he? He wasn't an angel, you didn't think anymore...

"Well?" He shook it in front of you temptingly.

You bit your lip. "What's in it?"

"What you're looking for."

The mark on your neck throbbed but you almost couldn't feel the pain as you reached for the book.

Someone's here...

A smile spread across his face as your finger tips met the aged leather of the book.

You moved to the railing and started to open the book's first page.

"Go ahead." He pushed the book fully into your hand.

You flipped it back at his face. He stumbled catching the book before you threw yourself back off the side of the balcony.

"What are you-" he bellowed, running to the edge as you fell back. His face hardened as you landed securely in Changbin's arms.

The demon spread huge bat wings, bracing his impact against the side of the hotel. "Chan sent me." He pulled his wings in close before pushing away from the building.

You looked at the... angel? still on your balcony. He watched you go for a moment.

"Why isn't he following..." You asked quietly.

Changbin pulled up and slowed down, stopping the air whooshing past your ears. "Even if he could throw himself with enough momentum, he can't fly. Not anymore."

You remembered how one of his wings fell from his back in ash. "Oh.."

You stayed quiet most of the way to Chan's home, you blinked a few times, trying not to fall asleep.

Changbin smiled. "You can sleep, I won't drop you. But what's that package..?"

You looked at Ms. Lee's parcel for a moment. "Something for a friend." You said softly.

He kept flying without pushing anymore. You yawned after a while and did fall asleep. It was the first time you'd slept well in so long, even though it was a short nap (Changbin's landing wasn't the best).

You jolted awake as he stumbled wings flailing backwards to halt his stumbling. He smiled sheepishly, apologizing for waking you as he set you down, motioning to the large house behind you. "Tada!" He smiled. "Awesome right?"

You nodded, looking at the white bmw outside the house. You had never seen that car before.

"Oh," Changbin motioned to it. "Minho's."

You nodded.

He led you into the house and Chan was waiting with Hyunjin in the foyer. The latter ran to you the moment his rose colored eyes set on you. He grabbed your shoulders, inspecting you from head to toe for a moment before Chan pulled him back. He searched your face for a moment and turned to Changbin, "He followed?"

Changbin shook his head and sighed. "I flew pretty fast."

Chan nodded and smiled at you, looking at Hyunjin, "Take her, I have to deal with something."

Hyunjin smiled and motioned for you to follow. As you were going to follow him, he put his arm in front of you, you looked towards the spiral stairs where Hyunjin's gaze was locked.

Minho came down the steps and he stared at you before looking at Chan. "Really?"

"Listen-" Chan started.

"Nope." Minho turned on his heel and went back up the stairs.

"Don't mind him." Hyunjin took your hand and led you up the stairs and around the corner motioning to a door. "Changbin is there. He pointed to the room across the hall from it, "Jisung," He motioned to the door next to it and stopped. He sucked in a breath and motioned to the last five, "Jeongin, mine, Seungmin, Minho, and all the way at the end of the hall is Chan."

"Where am I-" you started.

"In Chan's room."

You turned to look at him. "Huh-"

Hyunjin blinked. "Or would you prefer mine...? Jeongin and Changbin sleep pretty uncomfortably, and I think Minho might actually feed you to his pets. Seungmin would do something stupid. and.. Jisung doesn't exactly have a bed."

You pursed your lips. "It's fine.."

"Chan barely sleeps anyway, that's why he wanted you to take his bed." Hyunjin smiled and motioned to his bedroom door. "I'm right there if you need anything."

"Thanks..." You blinked.

"Of course." He kissed your cheek gently and smiled. "Sleep well."

You opened the door to Chan's room and entered slowly, looking around, it was different from the room you'd see in your dreams, there was still a desk in the corner, his big bed, with soft dark sheets but there was a TV, a door to his bathroom and another to his closet.

You opened it and looked at his clothes, most of the things were dark, dark blues and greys and so much black. You stared at the few white shirts he had and huffed softly. "No pjs."

You looked at the other side at his more casual wear and smiled slightly as you were greeted by a dark hoodie. You changed out of your clothes from that day into the hoodie and your underwear and tossed around the pillows a bit on the bed before deeming it comfortable enough and getting under the covers. You looked around for the remote a bit before you found it on the nightstand on the other side of the bed. You reached and turned on the TV, flipping aimlessly through the channels.

You found some random horror movie to watch and stared at it for a moment. After a few seconds the killer came around and stabbed one of the characters multiple times before stomping on them. You cringed, the camera panned down to the person laying lifeless, jaw slack as if broken. Your stomach flipped and your turned off the TV.

You kept replaying it in your head. We found her.

The sight of Ms. Lee's mutilated corpse.

"You seem upset..."

You jumped as Chan slid into the bed next to you.

"It's just me." he laughed and looked at you, eyes locked on yours before he whispered. "Don't watch movies like that."

"Sorry." You muttered, leaning against him.

"Don't apologize." he hugged you to him.

You didn't say anything to that as his hand rubbed your shoulder gently.

"What did he tell you?" he finally said, you wouldn;t have heard if the room wasn't so quiet.

"He had a book.." You replied.

Chan didn't respond but he tensed and you looked up at him.

"He said he could tell me what you couldn't."

"Do you believe him?" Chan asked, gaze on the blank TV screen.

"No..."

"Good." He whispered, kissing your head gently. "Go to sleep, 'kay?"

You nodded and tried to relax.

You honestly didn't know when you fell asleep, but you woke up in the field of flowers and stood.

You turned a couple of times, confused.

The man stood there, his eyes a vibrant blue. His lips started moving but you couldn't hear him. Why couldn't you hear him...

He noticed your confused expression and his face fell, he bent over, grabbing a bunch of flowers and grass, using them to write out, "You can't hear me?"

You nodded.

He kicked the flowers and looked very angry for a moment before he grabbed them and started spelling something out but he stopped, standing to his full height he looked at you.

You blinked and took a step back. He shook his head frantically before tapping his wrist.

"We don't have time...?"

He nodded, pointing to his neck then at you, then his ears before crossing his arms.

"I can't hear you because of my neck... oh? the tattoo?"

He nodded fervently and bit his lip, brows furrowing, he pointed to his neck again.

"The tattoo?"

He raked his thumb across his throat in a slit motion.

"The tattoo is going to kill me?"

He smiled and nodded.

You looked down for a moment. "How? Why? Chan wouldn't- he-"

He held his hand out and the leather bound book flew past the flowers and into his grasp.

He used his free hand to make a drinking motion.

"Drink?"

He shook his head, you noticed the sun was darkening, the man's movements becoming more desperate. His eyes widened and he mimicked rubbing them before yawning and doing the drinking motion.

"Coffee?" You guessed.

He nodded and tapped his wrist before lifting both hands into the air, straight up in a point.

"At noon..." You tilted your head, "Where-"

He shrugged and pointed to you.

You were about to guess again but the ground shook and split open beneath you. You grabbed around in the dark before closing your eyes tightly. And you fell back into your body, you opened your eyes slowly and looked around the room.. You were alone.

The next morning you saw someone in the kitcen, recognizing Minho you turned on your heel and tried to run somewhere else but you were stopped by a "You're not that sneaky."

"Oh come o-" You started.

Minho stabbed the knife he was using to cut the fruit into the cutting board and looked over his shoulder at you. "Are you so scared of me?"

"You came at me with a power drill-"

"You're human."

"Wow thanks for noticing." You rolled your eyes and walked into the kitchen, muttering to yourself as you fiddled with the coffee maker.

Once you got the coffee going, it was quiet all except for the soft trickle of the coffee into the pot.

Minho went to the stove and started making eggs. "Hand me that." he motioned to the pepper.

You handed it to him and he kept shook a little onto the eggs.

"Can you cut that?" he motioned to an onion. "Rough chop."

You did as he told you and he hummed softly when he took them from you. When majority of the things were done you smiled, turning to get a mug from the cabinet, coffee, finally...

You paused as Minho pressed behind you, breathing in your ear. "Is something wrong?"

You held your breath half expecting him to snap your head off, but he rested a hand on your hip.

"So easily scared but such big talk." He huffed a small laugh. "Stupid human."

Your face burned as he handed you a mug, "I'm not stupid..."

"You sure?" He tilted your head so you looked up at him.

Your heart stopped, when he didn't look like he wanted to kill you, he was really attractive.

"You humans faces really give away so much stuff about you." he mumbled, you could feel his breath on your lips. "No wonder Chan likes you. Such a slut." he pulled your hair and you gasped. He pressed harder against you, crotch rubbing against your ass as he breathed, "Lucky me I didn't mark you." He pulled away leaving you feeling hot and bothered.

"Hey!" You huffed, rubbing the back of your head.

He grabbed mug from the cabinet and walked over the coffee maker as if he hadn't just disrespected you like that.

"Asshole." You muttered.

He turned back to whatever he was doing, sipping his coffee, and for a brief moment you swore you saw a small smile on his face.

You somehow made it out of the house without Chan or the others suspicion, it was one meet up.. nothing could go wrong.

Or so you thought.

You went to a coffee shop near the house in case you needed to book it, you weren't afraid of him (you were), what could he possibly do? He couldn't even fly (but neither could you).

"The tattoo makes you more attractive to demons. Chan claimed you." He huffed softly. "It's also why you can't hear me."

"What does the tattoo have to do with the things I've seen?" You pursed your lips.

"Those things.. are demons ." He looked at his cocoa, "Think about how many demons want a part of the strongest's power? To crawl up to his level of strength?" He huffed a laugh. "The Sin of Pride isn't something to be tossed around uselessly." He leaned forward, and for a brief moment his eyes looked manic. "So, why would he choose a human like you..."

You squeezed your mug and exhaled.

He slid the book across the table. "This has more answers."

You looked at it. "What is it...?"

"A gift."

You took the book cautiously and opened it. The pages were blank... all of them. You flipped from left to right brow furrowing. "Why-"

"Read it in a church. The words only appear in the lord's house." He stood and stretched.

"Wait!" You stood as well.

"Hm?"

"Who are you? Why don't the others trust yo-"

"Call me your guardian angel." He smiled. "I'm going to save you from them all." He smiled and walked away.

You looked at the book before looking back at your "guardian angel", he had vanished, completely gone in the crowd.

You had a bit of time to yourself so you ended up going to the church. The pastor was doing something at the sanctuary, you entered silently and closed the door behind you. It had been a long time since you'd been in such a place. You dipped your fingers in the water at the front and performed the sign of the cross.

You walked further into the church and moved to sit on a pew, you grabbed the book from your bag and were about to open it when the pastor greeted you.

"It's not often young people like you walk into the house of god." The pastor tilted his head at you.

"I'm just... thinking a lot." You said dismissively.

"About?" He asked clearly trying to get something out of you. "I see you're very devoted." He motioned to the tattoo.

"Oh-" You almost laughed. "Yeah... Very..."

"So what's on your mind child?"

You pursed your lips. Could you really tell him about the book..? "Well... I've been interacting with certain people recently." You reached into your bag. "Things have been happening recently."

"Because of those people?" the pastor sat beside you.

"So I've been told." You pulled out the book. "And this... has the answers."

He blinked a few times. "What is it..?"

You shrugged. "I can't read it anywhere but a church so.."

The pastor took the book from you and opened the first page. You looked over his shoulder, hoping to see words.. and there was nothing.

You grabbed the book and slammed it shut, opening it again.

Nothing. nothing but aging yellow blank paper.

"I don't- he said..." You opened and closed the book a few more times.

"Now," the pastor took th book from you and rested on the seat. "There's only so much that God can do perhaps first, you should direct yourself to a mental health prof-"

"Are you calling me crazy?!" You looked at the man.

"No- just-"

"I know it sounds crazy but this tattoo the book- the things I've been seeing-"

"I don't really think-

"You don't understa-"

Thunder clapped outside and you turned to the window as it started raining.

"That wasn't in the forecast.." The pastor stood up and sighed. "I'll get you an umbrella so you don't get wet when you go out there."

You shoved the book into your bag. "It's fine."

"I really insist. I could not help you and-" The pastor froze, gaze locked on the church doors.

"And nothing." You stood and turned but the pastor grabbed you and held out his bible.

You finally looked at the doors. the man with the cap stood there. His eyes completely black, gaze locked on you and the pastor.

"In the name of Jesus..." The pastor moved slowly from between the pews, backing you up behind him. "I cast thee from this holy house."

The man with the baseball cap took a step forward and for the first time you felt something heavy weighing down on you.

"In the name of the lord, our savior, you shall not walk upon this hallowed ground."

The tattoo burned and you clutched your neck. The pastor grabbed his cross and held it out.

The man stopped, staring at you from under the rim of his hat.

"Child what's wrong-"

You gasped in pain as you felt your tattoo being undone and redone over and over. The pastors eyes widened and he stumbled back away from you in shock.

"You bear the mark of a demon! You see things! You- In the nam of Jesus Christ I remove this evil from you!"

You collapses and held your neck, it felt like the skin on your neck was being torn off your muscle. Your hand instinctively held on to the tattoo.

"I cast out this wicked being from this daughter of the lord!"

And then you felt the burning. Like your whole body was fire. A brief image of the freckled angel burning in the hallway flashed through your mind and you let out an ear piercing shriek.

"I beg of you lord free this chi-"

You hugged yourself, it burned. You remembered how Chan had smiled at you, how Changbin had offered to share his food, the sight of Jeongin counting his money, Hyunjin sitting there painting anything and everything. This couldn't be it.

You saw the blood before you realized what happened. Your eyes went wide, the burning stopped.

And the pastor's head was gone.

When Minho saw his older brother writhing in bed and clawing at the frame as if he were in pain he thought three things. The first was that judgement day had finally arrived and he and all his brothers were about to burn in holy fire and DIE. The second was that he was going into heat and resisting the urge not to find you his precious human and fuck the daylights out of you. And the third... he didn't want to think about the third.

Because why on earth would you ever try to get rid of his brother?

"Minho!" Chan jerked up and looked at him. "What is she doing..."

Both men stared at each other before Minho turned and went straight out the door.

Chan tried to stop him. "Minho- Don't" He got up but collapsed, "JEONGIN!"

"Hyung-" the younder demon stared at his brother in shock. "Why are you on the ground-"

"Minho's going to kill her-"

"Hyung I can't stop him-"

"MINHO!" Chan shouted.

MInho tore through your old apartment and found nothing. He considered paying that man who wouldn't leave you alone a visit but decided against it, then he remembered. Changbin mentioned you had a run in with... that thing.. at your hotel.

So when Minho realized you were breaking the pact without realizing he went straight to all the nearest churches. After scaring the living daylights out of several nuns, interrupting a baptism and a small wedding he found you in a church near a coffee shop.

He braced himself to enter, the storm outside whipping his hair into his eyes. Why the hell were you here in the first place? He threw the doors open just in time to see the man with the baseball cap pouncing on you, no not a man. That devil..

Minho threw himself at him with such force, both of them flew and hit the floor of the sanctuary, skidding across the floor as Minho wrapped his hands around the thing's neck.

You sat up and scrambled back, your hand touched blood and you looked at the pastor's body. You started hyperventilating, you needed to leave. You needed to run. You looked at Minho who was still slamming the man's head against the steps of the sanctuary.

You got up and took off running, stumbling over yourself as you tried to get to the church doors, you crashed against them fumbling to pull them open when a hand slammed beside your head. The wood of the door cracking as it slammed shut.

You didn't dare move. You couldn't even breath, watching as the blood seemed to waft off his hand in ash.

"Explain." he said lowly.

You didn't speak. You didn't turn around, eyes still glued on the door in front of you. Minho grabbed you shoulder and turned you around pushing you against the door, his red eyes narrowed.

"Were you trying to kill Chan.."

"What?" You were confused, "Kill him?"

"You really want to act stupid?!" He snapped.

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND! He told me the damn book would show the words in a church so I came here and-"

"Who?!" Minho glared down at you.

"The guy with the freckles.." You muttered.

Minho stared at your tear filled eyes and pulled away releasing a heavy sigh. "What book?"

You stood and walked between the pews grabbing your bag and pulling out the book.

Minho took it from you, flipping through the pages, "It's blank."

"He said it wouldn't be if I read it in a church." You whispered.

"He said that to kill you and Chan." Minho gripped the book tightly in his hands and the it went up in flames in his grasp. "Do you know what that tattoo means?"

You nodded. "Chan said because I'm hi-"

"Because you're his." Minho rolled his eyes. "Without sugaring it over. Chan made a pact with you. Even if that pact is broken and the mark is removed, remnants of Chan's power are still in you. To have the power of one of us, and no one to save you it makes you an easy target."

"He said he was helping me-" You thought about how innocent his smile was then how Chan had said not to trust him. Tears filled your eyes, you were an idiot, you were so stupid, you- you-

"He lied to you."

And you believed it. You sat on the floor beside the pew and stared at a sheet of paper burning on the ground from the book.

"I don't know if it works like this." Minho muttered to himself.

"What?" You looked up.

He turned away for a moment, staring.

"Minho-"

"Do you trust me?"

"I-"

"Do you?" he got on his knees in front of you.

You stared at the demon. Who attacked you with a power drill. Who scared the living shit out of you every time you saw him. Who just saved your life. You nodded.

Minho grabbed your wrist and pulled it to his mouth, you jerked but his grip tightened and you pulled back he fell over you as his fangs sank into your wrist.

You gasp as you felt your wrist throb and your neck burned. Just as the church doors flew of the hinges and your head turned seeing Chan standing at the door.

© 2024 xxkissesforchanniexx. DO NOT COPY OR TRANSLATE MY WORK

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[brownsugarwrites]

Superstar

★ pairings: Johnny cage x black!fem!actress!reader

★ warnings: fluff & smut. bossy head strong reader, smug bastard johnny, enemies to lovers, oral (f!receiving). they have sex idk what else to say. sub!reader. creampie. one night stand elements. dirty talk & pet names. maybe a bit of brat taming? squirting. written with a black reader in mind but anyone can read!

★ wc: 2.6k (wow!)

★ dedicated to @lxnarphase

“Is there any way for this car to go faster?” you asked impatiently. 

“No, ma’am, I'm sorry traffic is horrible,” your driver told you sympathetically. 

Rolling your eyes, you continued typing the email to your casting agent, letting them know you would be late. Not that you really cared or anything, but it was still considerate to let them know you wouldn't be on time. 

This was your life. Going to casting meetings and getting scripts. You just wrapped up one of your movies about two months ago, and now you were onto the next one. 

Finally, pulling into the movie studio's lot, the driver drove to the main building where all the meetings occurred. As you pulled up, you grabbed your purse, stepped out of the vehicle, and walked to your destination.

Asking for directions, you go to the elevators and wait for it. Growing anxious, the elevator pinged and opened its wide doors.

Stepping onto it, you pressed the button before taking out your phone to see the exact room for the meeting.

Stepping off the elevator, your heels echoed throughout the hall as you approached the room.

Opening the glass door, the director greeted you first. 

“I'm so glad you were able to make it! Please have a seat.” 

“This is who we were waiting on?” you heard a smug familiar voice say 

Snapping your head in that direction, you rolled your eyes before scoffing loudly.

“Is there a problem-”

“Yes, there is a problem. Dont tell me this is my co-star?” you asked with annoyance. 

Johnny Cage. Seasoned actor who has a long rapport with Oscars, Golden Globes, and even some Emmys. He was arrogant and big-headed. You didn't like him from a movie you did a while ago, even though it was a small cameo. 

“Dont be like that, sweetheart. I sure we can put the past behind us and focus on the movie?” he said with a smirk playing on his face.

Rolling your eyes for the third time today, you walk to the table and sit next to one of the writers. 

After the meeting, you stood off to the side, waiting to talk to your agent to ask why she put you in this situation, knowing the beef you had with your co-star. 

“Looking good, as always, superstar,” Johnny complimented, walking up to you. 

Even with your stilettos on, he still hovered over you so slightly that you had to stare up at him. 

“Just stay out of my way, Cage,” you scoffed, crossing your arms. 

“I don't think that’s possible with us being leads in the same movie.”

“I'm not going to repeat myself,” you retorted.

“Dont have to, superstar. I'm excited to work with you again, sweetheart,” he said before putting his sunglasses back on his face and walking away.

Watching him leave the boardroom room, your casting agent walked over to you. 

“So.. are you guys made up?” she asked with a grin.

“Dont make me fire you.” you snapped, not thinking her joke was amusing. 

Watching her face drop in fear, you strode towards the door and left the building. 

When it was finally time for filming, you were greeted with a vase of hydrangeas in your makeup trailer. Opening the note with the initials J.C on it, you tore the paper and threw it into the garbage can.

“Did ya get my flowers, superstar?” Johnny asked as you walked onto the set.

“I did. Thanks, I guess,” you responded flatly.

Smiling, his voice boomed throughout the studio, letting the crew know he was ready to shoot.

This became the routine. Sometimes, you and Johnny would have good and bad days. But the good started to outweigh the bad, and you tolerated him a bit more throughout this journey. 

He felt the same about you. He wouldn't tell anyone about his crush on his co-star. He felt like a little kid teasing you and annoying you just so that you would give him your undivided attention. As juvenile as it sounded, it worked. Seeing you get so annoyed with him really gave him the satisfaction of driving you crazy. It was all a part of his plan to make you his girlfriend finally.

Hearing a knock on your trailer door, you invite the person in

“I would say someone is warming up to me.” You heard the familiar voice as he walked in. 

Scoffing playfully, you asked what he wanted.

“Just bored and wanted to see my pretty co-star. Do you have a problem with that?” he asked, sitting next to you on the couch. 

Seeing that he was shirtless with the robe barely covering his chest, giving you a peek of his abs, you felt a sweat drip down your forehead.

Shaking your head no, you released a shaky breath, feeling him inch closer to you. 

“Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?” he asked, arrogance in his tone.

“Oh shut up.” you simply said before looking away, feeling your cheeks warm up in embarrassment, 

“Wow, am I making my superstar nervous right now? That’s new,” he teased, face coming closer to yours.

“My superstar” had you weak in the knees. You were sure you would fall onto the ground if you stood up. 

He was toying with you, and you needed to fight back the best way you could.

“No, I'm not nervous, Johnny. Why are you so fucking close?” you asked, trying to keep your guard up and turning to meet his eyes. 

“Cause maybe I think you're gorgeous, and I wanna get a better look at you,” he replied smugly. 

Rolling your eyes, the two of you sat silently, feeling the thick tension clouding over you. His face came closer to you as you felt your breath synch with his. Your eyes fluttered close, accepting whatever was about to happen.

“We need you on set in five minutes,” you heard one of the production assistants yell through the door.

Eyes shooting open, you jump away before apologizing and look out, feeling your face burn up. 

“Dont apologize. Come on, they need us on set,” he said with a wink, taking your hand in his 

Snatching your hand away, you got up and left your trailer. Johnny trailed behind you with a sly smile on his face.

Three and a half months later, you were finally done filming. Feeling a weight leave your shoulders, you congratulated the crew members on their achievements.

“I had fun working with you, superstar. You almost did as good as me,” he joked.

Smacking your lips, you looked at him in shock. “Almost as good as you? I'm pretty sure I did as good as you, maybe even better,” you jabbed back. 

“Well, how about we celebrate? That new lounge just opened downtown. Meet there tonight?” he asked, giving puppy dog eyes. 

“Sure, I could go for a glass of wine or two. 8:30.” 

***

8:50. You’re twenty minutes late even though you chose the time to meet him. Sitting in the section he brought for the two of you, he pulled out his phone to see if you were still coming out tonight. 

Looking up, he saw you walking in with your thigh-high boots on with the tight black dress, hugging you tight as you carried your Chanel purse over your shoulder. 

“You must have a thing for being late, sweetheart,” he teased, grabbing your hand to help you not trip over your feet.

“I'm here, aren't I?” you asked, rolling your eyes.

What would he give to make those pretty eyes roll behind your pretty head

“I had them put your wine on ice. I think it's warm now.” 

“Eh, I’ll be ok. Thank you for inviting me out.” you thanked him.

As the night went on, the two of you joked and conversed about things going on in your daily life. What new brand deals have the two of you got down to, and what have you all made for dinner this week. 

You could feel the tension between the two of you, especially with the way he placed his big hand upon your plush thigh, giving it teasing squeezes.

“Take me to the bathroom?” you asked. 

Grabbing his hand, you led the way to the bathroom. He waited for you outside as you went into the bathroom.

Coming out, you stood before him, peering up at him with your big brown eyes. Grabbing your face, you felt his soft lips placed upon yours. It may have been the drinks talking, but you wanted him.

“Tell me you want this as much as me,” he whispered in your ear before kissing along your neck, grabbing a handful of your ass.

“Yes, b-but not here. Papz might be watchin',” you whimpered. 

Taking note, he let you lead the way as you walked out of the club to get to his sports car, trying not to get caught by the sneaky paparazzi.

“Nice car,” you complimented, walking up to his matte black Maserati as he opened the door for you. 

 Giving you a tap on your ass, he thanked you before closing the door after making sure you got in ok.

The car ride seemed like it took forever, even with Johnny exceeding the speed limit, to get to his house. Feeling the needy grip on your thigh was driving you crazy. Biting your lip in anxiousness, you started to scroll on your phone so you did not think about the current climate in the car.

Finally pulling into the garage with his other cars, he quickly turned off the engine as you unbuckled your seatbelt. Before you could open the door to get out of the vehicle, Johnny beat you to it before lifting you out of the car bridal style and taking you into his mansion.

Fighting with the door that led inside his house, he grunted in annoyance. 

“Why dont you put me down-” you asked, trying to give a solution.

“Because if I put you down, I'm fucking you in this garage, and a lady like you should be fucked properly.” he simply responded, finally getting the door to open.

Stepping inside with you in hand, he closed the door with his foot before taking you up the stairs that led to the bedroom. 

Kissing you with fever, he placed you on the bed gently as you started to tug off his shirt. You felt yourself growing more aroused as he moved down to your neck, gently sucking on it. 

Mewling softly, you pulled him away from your neck so that he could take off his clothes. 

“Nun uh sweetheart. Dont be impatient,” he instructed you as he moved down towards your legs to take your shoes off.

Once your shoes were discarded, he began to litter kisses upon your leg leading up to your inner thigh before coming dangerously close to your clothed, needy cunt.

Withering away, his grip on your legs became tighter as he held you in place, fighting your urge to run away. Lifting your dress, he was met with the blue lace trim underwear. Pulling them to the side swiftly, he smiled at the way it glistened before putting his fingers on your sticky clit and rubbing circles on it. 

Mewling in response, he replaced his fingers with his mouth before sucking on your pussy and running his tongue between your folds. Thick thighs squished his ears as he continued his assault on you, hearing your muffled moans as your nails raked through his hair, tugging on it lightly.

He was in heaven. In between your thighs was where he belonged, listening to the way you whimpered for more, feeling you come close to your first orgasm of the night. Feeling his pants tighten around his dick as you begged him to let you cum. Bringing his calloused fingers back to your puffy clit he began to make small circles on it feeling you shake slightly as your orgasm washed over you. 

Releasing your legs from his grip, he watched as your chest rose and fell as you tried to think about your current predicament. Not having a chance to let your brain catch up, you feel Johnny hover over you to take off your dress, revealing the matching lace bra that held your tits with the piercings on them.

“If I knew any better, I would think you planned on me to fuck you,” he chuckled before unbuckling his pants, letting you see his hard-on as it could barely be contained in his boxers before squeezing it.

“Fuck you look so sexy like this,” he said as he reached to pull your panties off, being mesmerized by a string of slick connected to your underwear, throwing them on the floor before taking off his own. Hearing the way his long, girthy dick stood at attention. 

Feeling embarrassed, he kissed your temple, loving the way you shivered under him.

“You’re awfully quiet, doll,” he whispered. 

“Are you gonna keep teasing me, or are you actually going to fuck me” you spat quietly in his ear.

Kissing his teeth, he gave your needy pussy a few slaps before bucking into you. His pace started off relentless as his balls collided with your thighs; as the loud, squelchy sounds started to flood the room.

“F-fuck.” you moaned, hands coming to play with your clit as he continued fucking into you. 

“S-shit, that's it, sweetheart. Keep playing with that pretty clit for me,” he groaned out, lips going in between his teeth as you clenched down for me. 

You felt yourself about to cum again. Drawing tighter circles on yourself, you began to cry for release.

“Cumming again, baby? Fuck” he asked with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“I-i need it. Johnny, please let me cum” you squirmed, feeling it becomes too much for you. 

“You can cum, my superstar.” he fought out, feeling you clench down on him.

Hearing you squeal, you lay on the bed breathless and dizzy, some small pieces of your hair sticking onto your sweaty body.

“You have no idea the things you do to me,” he said, kissing you deeply. 

Soon after, he was flipping you over to your knees, making you arch your body so that your ass was in the sky. You felt vulnerable as you looked back at him, sticking his angry flush tip and inserting your weeping pussy again.

“Next time, I should try your wrist together and fuck you like this all night,” he grunted as he pushed your back further into its arch, beginning to fuck you again.

Trying to catch onto his rhythm, you began to rock your hips back and forth, trying to meet his thrusts. Grabbing a handful of your ass, hit bit his lip in pleasure, accepting your thrusts.

“You‘re gonna make me cum. Fuck” he moaned out, squeezing his eyes shut.

“You can cum inside,” you whispered. 

Feeling something animalistic turn on in him, he started to fuck you deeper as he was nearing his release. 

“S-say it again for me,” he asked. 

“Inside, you can cum inside,” you responded louder this time.

“You’re gonna drive me crazy,” he grunted.

Feeling a bubbling pressure in your abdomen, you knew you were close again. Not giving a chance to warn Johnny, you felt a warm liquid trickle down your thighs as your legs shook.

Feeling squirt on his dick had him seeing stars as he delivered one last thrust before ropes of thick cum filled your cunt.

Falling onto the bed, you drooled onto the pillow, feeling your eyes get heavier by the second. Instantly, you felt a pair of warm arms cradle you to the bathroom, sitting you on the toilet as you heard water running into the tub. The smells of lavender and vanilla filled your nose as you attempted to keep your eyes open. 

Feeling yourself get picked up again, placed into the warm water, and feeling a structured body come behind you as you lay on it. 

“Did so good for me, sweetheart. My superstar,” he said, kissing your temple as you nodded off. 

[saerins]

⋆୨ chapter one ୧˚ thorns without flowers, bars with no drinks

⋆୨ if not for you (masterlist) ⋆୨ previous: prologue - all see through just like glass <> next: chapter two - a million miles away, still you connect me in your way ୧˚

⋆୨ synopsis ୧˚ neither of you want this. both you and sae reluctantly agree to this marriage, although sae’s dissatisfaction far outweighs your own. with hidden agendas and old flames, will this ever work out between the two of you, or will your forced spark be doomed to fail?

ೀ series: sae x f!reader | wc 5k | ೀ content warnings: fluff/angst, modern au, arranged marriage, rich!sae and rich!reader, hostility on sae’s part, profanity, your marriage is not off to a very good start, both yn and sae both have other … options. | notes: ty i appreciate all of you who are reading this <3 i added everyone who asked to be tagged ^_^ lemme know if i missed you !!

The day has finally arrived. After two months of painstaking preparations, it’s your special day today. Not that your parents have given you any say on your own special day. You wonder if your future husband got the same treatment too. That is, if he was even interested in it.

Everyone has arrived, the chefs are ready, people are dressed to the nines, photographers are already snapping away. More than half the guests, most of which you barely know, have come to speak to you, to congratulate you, but it all still feels so surreal.

Is this really happening?

There’s a lot of important people in attendance today, a lot of them you don’t even know personally. Which is funny, considering that it’s your wedding. Of course, both sets of parents were in charge of the invites, and your actual friends probably only account for fifteen percent of the entire list. (With Sae’s friends, probably totaling thirty percent.) The rest are spaces filled by people in power—political, business, what have you. It’s no surprise; your parents (and you guess Sae’s as well) are great at networking, and of course these people would attend such an event—two kids of rivalling companies getting married would signify a possibly huge shift in market share, and they’d probably like to be here to witness for themselves if this is some sort of sham. If this lasts, then they’ll have to move their money around, that’s for sure.

It is kind of a sham, but you’re trying to get that out of your head. This can’t possibly be anything but a ruse to further their own gains. Parents are like that, as much as you know.

“Hey, are you sure about this? There’s still time to back out, you know?”

Beside you, your ever observant younger sister offers you a sad smile; a product of the guilt she feels because despite you not telling her, she knows you’re just trying to keep the crosshairs away from her. She must’ve realised that your feet are colder than you thought. But as far as you’re concerned, better you than her.

She has a happy relationship with one of the nicest guys she’s ever met, and the last time you’d spoken to him, he’d confessed to wanting to marry her. The only downside to it all is that your sister is way too filial—if your parents tried to force her to get married to someone of their choice, she’d give in eventually, and you don’t want that.

Besides, you don’t have anyone. No love interest, no potential suitors—what’s the worst that could happen to you? As long as Sae is decent enough of a human being, you’re sure you’ll be fine.

“I’m sure, so don’t worry about me, okay?” Your hands come up to her shoulders, squeezing slightly, offering your best and most radiant smile.

Sensing that there’s only more of your dear sister’s worry coming, you’re grateful that a timely knock comes from the doorway. You hold back a sigh of relief before turning to look at your visitor, and you stiffen up when you realise who it is.

“Is this a bad time?”

Your sister speaks up before you do. “Oh, Itoshi Sae, of course not!” There’s a sense of excitement in her voice that masks her earlier concern; it’s kind of sad that the art of faking is a necessity of living in the world you do. It’s one of the essential skills. You either fake it or face consequences. “I’m all done here, you two should talk.”

With that, she bounces out of the room, and you wonder just what kind of thoughts she’s having—her happiness is kind of infectious. Sure, Reo had said countless times that if Sae was ever a dick to you, he’d punch him in the guts for you. So far, he doesn’t have to. It’s nice that he made the time to visit you before the ceremony, it’d be nice to meet just once before after all.

“Hi, um, it’s nice to meet you.” It’s the best you can do when you’re halfway gaping at how good your future husband looks. There’s nothing that needs to be said for his face; his red-brown hair frames his face just nice, his teal eyes makes it feel like he can see right through you, and those naturally long lashes of his makes you envious. He’s wearing a simple black tux—but you know there’s nothing simple about the price tag. Not for his tux, nor for your couture wedding dress. He still looks handsome all the same, and you realise now why so many girls seem to be all over him from all those forums you’d been reading up on.

Still, as charming as he looks, he makes you slightly uncomfortable with that especially long silence, your eyes falling on his gaze, his teal eyes seeming like they’re posing you silent questions. You remain quiet, waiting for his next move. It’s almost like you submit by default.

Some foolish part of you, the hopeless romantic, is hoping you and him can hit it off right away, but even you know that’s asking for too much. Sae proves you right when he finally opens his mouth.

“I wanted to set things straight before we go through with anything.”

Just like that, with just those few words, Sae has managed to strip all the hope out of you. Nothing good can come out of those words, coupled with that monotonous tone of his. This isn’t the face of a man who’s happy to get married, and certainly not one of a man who is even willing.

Though, can you really say you are?

“I only said yes because I was forced to,” Sae tells you, not explaining more than he needs to. The line is drawn—thick with a black marker, something you can’t miss even if you wanted to. “Just play your part, act happy, and you can drop the act once we’re done with this today.”

There’s something in his bossy attitude that doesn’t sit right with you, but you’re too busy being disappointed in yourself to do anything about it. All you allow is a nod, because even without Sae saying it, you had planned to give your biggest smile later anyway, no matter how fake it is. Thing is, you had imagined that Sae was less… hostile than this. Honestly, maybe you had been hoping for him to at least put some effort into liking the situation, but from how he is now, it doesn’t look like it at all.

“Okay then, see you.”

Sae barely looks at you before he turns and walks off toward the door, right about to turn the corner when he’s stopped by your parents. Of course, they’re more than delighted to see him. They’d been convincing you hard to this arranged marriage, claiming how you’re so horrible at romance that they really are just pushing you to do this so they can have an heir early. If you ever did have a child, you can only be sure how you want to not treat them like. Your parents can be credited for that.

“You look wonderful, Sae!” Your mother is already gushing over Sae’s look as your father has his arm around him, pulling him back to the door.

“So, this is the first time you’re meeting our Y/N right? What do you think, son?” Your father has his Client Services voice switched on—after seeing him work all this time, you can distinguish it in an instant. You wonder if Sae can.

In front of your parents, you’re shocked to see that he’s already putting on an act. There’s a very subtle smile on his face—something that seems so soft and secretive, something that looks like it’s meant to be viewed by exclusive people only—and you find your own heart skipping a beat. You wonder if anyone’s ever been so lucky to be able to see that naturally.

“Your daughter is…” Sae trails off, and you find yourself swallowing the lump in your throat, inwardly asking. yourself why on earth would his opinion matter to you at all. “Pretty.”

It’s a simple word, with an even simpler meaning, and Sae doesn’t even mean it, but you find a heat creeping up your cheeks and you’re not sure why it’s so easy to appease you.

“You’re hopeless, you know that?” Reo says later on, after your parents and Sae have headed off somewhere and Reo takes their place.

Covering your head with your hands, you groan, absolutely annoyed with yourself. “Is it so wrong that I just want my future husband to remotely like me even just a little bit?”

Reo sighs, wondering what kind of luck you have to be born into a family where that isn’t even possible. Usually, people marry someone after they dated them for a while. After they can ascertain they’re good for them and that they have the capacity to put them first. Somehow, you’d been stripped of that because your parents, of all people, are the ones encouraging you to get married to someone who doesn’t love you. Hell, they even know that you and Sae don’t even know each other.

It’s pitiful, really. You’re a nice person, and Reo would shake you and convince you not to do this if he could, but it’s not like you can afford anyone to lose faith in you. If they do, how will you keep up your act? So, he’ll play his part as your best friend and just support you—he’ll deal with Sae separately if he ever dares to treat you horribly.

“Does he even know how to be nice to people?” You ponder out loud, whining, pouting as you gaze at nothing at all, the ticking of the clock making you more nervous by the second.

The wedding ceremony is half an hour away now.

Reo takes a seat beside you, leaning an elbow against your dresser. “Hmm, I heard about him from friends of friends—but all of them say he’s more of an asshole than your average person,” Reo fills you in, though you probably guessed that by yourself.

Of course, he chooses not to disclose the fact that Sae has an alleged ex he can’t get over, because what good would that do you? You’ll just get all FBI-mode and try to find her socials and find reasons you’ll never measure up and say shit like maybe that’s why Sae isn’t interested in you.

Still, you look like a hot mess and Reo has to encourage you somehow, or else you’ll end up walking up that aisle like you’re marrying Lord Farquaad. “Oi, Y/N, what I hear is he’s just a tough nut to crack.”

“I get it, Reo, I’ll probably end up talking to the wall everyday at home since my husband won’t even talk to me.”

Reo rolls his eyes, pressing his lips into a firm line and putting his hands on your shoulders, taking care not to shake you or else your hairdo will come off and he’ll have your hairdresser absolutely seething. He’s not about to try and owe her anything or else he’ll end up bald just from having to offer her a wig.

“Hey, he’s just a tough nut to crack,” he repeats, and he sighs in exasperation when you still don’t get it. “So crack him, stupid. You’re good at that, right?”

Your eyes widen at Reo’s insinuation, and even more so when you realise it’s an actual good attempt at trying to encourage you. You crack a small laugh and Reo smiles along with you—he thinks that smile looks the best on you.

“If you can crack Nagi of all people, who’s Itoshi Sae?” Reo affirms. Nagi Seishiro, the son of the dean back when all of you were in university, who wanted for nothing except laying in bed all day and playing games, somehow managed to show an interest in helping his mother with her business, and it’s all because of you. Reo still doesn’t know how you did it, but all he knows is that you’re probably magic. (No, he knows you definitely are. You were, once, his once upon a time after all.)

His words stay with you even as you walk down the aisle fifteen minutes later, arm looped around your father’s.

“Be a good wife, okay?” Your father’s words break you out of your reverie. It isn’t the normal way a father would show concern for his child. No, the way he says it is cold and sinister, like it’s a threat. He reminds you why you’ve never had a good relationship with him. “If you screw this up, we’ll all have hell to pay.”

Trust your father to drop a bomb on you right before he passes you to Sae, who receives you with a polite nod. Perhaps, his original reaction is to have no reaction at all—is that nod his form of ‘acting’?

“Dearly beloved, we are all gathered here today—”

The words are lost on you as you try to keep your head in the present. Different thoughts are invading your head from different places that you almost feel overwhelmed from the mess. You can see Sae right in front of you, staring at you, and all you can think of is how you’re going to get along with someone who looks like he doesn’t want to. Growing up with a distant father and a far-too-subservient mother gives you anxiety—what if you end up just like that? Aside from that, instead of the holy words of matrimony, all you can hear is your father’s words repeating themselves in your head.

Hell to pay? Why, exactly? Why did he let go of the flimsy excuse of simply wanting to be his daughter’s matchmaker? What’s he talking about when he involves you in a possible blowback? What’s going on?

“Anytime now, princess.”

Sae’s hushed voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and you scramble to gather yourself. “Yes, I do.”

For some reason, Sae’s hands are now around yours, and the glimmer of the diamond on your ring finger reminds you of the gravity of what you’re doing. You’re getting married—to someone you barely know, for a reason you’re somehow not privy to. You’re signing away your life to be with someone who made it clear he’s definitely not interested, who views you as a chore before he bothers to get to know you.

It all terrifies you, if only because this was not what you ever envisioned for yourself. In the audience, you see Reo’s vibrant purple eyes looking at you, a confident smile on his face, nodding as though telling you that you’ve got this. In some ways, it’s reassuring, because once upon a time, you’d thought of Reo as your Prince Charming.

In front of you—not completely oblivious to your subtle actions: trembling fingers, eyes flicking over to that purple-haired boy in the front row, your shallow breathing—Sae puts a gentle hand on your cheek, slowly guiding you to look straight at him. For his part, he has to at least make this believable, to make his parents believe that he’ll follow through with this for years and years so that they’ll never have to bother Rin. Unfortunately for you, you’re his ticket to that end. Like it or not, both of you are in this together.

“Try to look like you’re happy, at least,” Sae breathes against your lips, a soft curve on his lips just for show, as he slowly presses his lips against your own, a satisfaction washing over him as he feels you kiss him back.

Great, step one is done. Now, for the rest of the wedding.

It’s a tough sell. During the reception, you’re acutely aware of how awkward you and Sae are around each other. He tries, occasionally tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear, or offering to feed you food. It’s only because there’s a lot of eyes on both of you.

His hand on your back feels foreign, and forced, and you can’t help feeling sad that he’s not someone who cares for you. The only thing tiding you through is that it’s not necessarily that way for you too.

“You’re a horrible actress,” he whispers, low so only you can hear. He’s right, too. You really do suck at this. “If you don’t at least look happy, we’re both in trouble.”

As if you need a reminder. In some ways, his attitude is similar to your father’s, and not in a good way. It only serves to make his touch more alien.

“Hey, look who’s here,” you hear a very boisterous voice approaching.

A quick turn of your head and you can see who you assume to be Sae’s friends, because surely they’re not yours. The one approaching first looks older, dark hair with green tips, behind him another one with blonde hair and wild pink highlights.

“Hello there, beautiful,” the first one says, reaching out to grab your hand and place a kiss on the back of it.

With a click of his tongue, Sae yanks his hand off of you. “Stop playing, Oliver.”

Oliver. That name sounds oddly familiar.

“At least I wasn’t like Mr Embarrassing here who spilled the wine all over one of the bridesmaids.”

Mr Embarrassing cocks a brow, ready to challenge Oliver. But before either of them can say anything more, Sae cuts in.

“These are my friends—”

“I’m Oliver Aiku,” he introduces himself, properly reaching out his hand this time now, waiting for you to take it at your own pace. 

You stare at him dumbly for a moment before shaking it. “As in, the law firm?”

“At your service,” Oliver smirks.

Of course one of Sae’s friends is the son of the most influential law firms in the whole of Japan. Right as you’re still collecting yourself, Oliver nudges Mr Embarrassing.

Looking completely disinterested, he sighs. “Ryusei Shidou.”

“As in,” you pause for a while, afraid you might be wrong. “As in… the governor Shidou?”

Annoyed, Shidou nods anyway, and Oliver begins to tell you to excuse him because he’s in a shitty mood but you’re not really hearing any of that.

Holy crap. So that must be the infamous son of the governor, the one he keeps carefully hidden away from prying eyes. Given how he’s behaving, and how he looks completely unlike a… typical person here, you’re not that surprised. That’s probably just how tradition is, in their family. Much like how you and the Itoshis have their own as well.

The rest of the celebration goes uneasily, your anxiety forever creeping up your spine, threatening to unravel itself and have you running off to Reo for some sense of familiarity—but that won’t look well: new bride choosing to spend the entire celebration with her best friend instead of her new husband? That’ll just bode a scandal for all three of you, and with this many influential people in the room, from governors to influencers, that’s the dumbest move you can make.

“Well, you two look absolutely beautiful together!”

After your first dance, the Itoshis approach you, both of them seemingly happy on the surface, but given how Sae absentmindedly tightens his grip around your hand, you’re not so sure you should believe in the superficial. Right, because you of all people should know the complications that come with being children of such parents.

It’s like Sae realises what he’s doing before he drops your hand, acting like nothing happened at all.

“Sae. What did we discuss?” The way his father calls his name is absolutely sinister. If you didn’t know any better, you swear they feel like absolute strangers.

Fortunately for you, some other guests come by and steal their attention, both of them relegating to one of the other tables. Beside you, Sae’s jaw is clenched—he’s lost any interest in faking anything for now.

Still, you suppose, if you’re going to get along with him, you probably have to try to reach out… right? Steeling your resolve, you place your hand over his, squeezing it a little, “what was that—”

Without even letting you finish, Sae yanks his hand away, and for the first time today, you’re seeing some genuine emotion behind his eyes. 

And they’re not kind. They’re pretty, but they’re ice cold—the veins on his temple are prominent now, and he really doesn’t care if anyone sees.

“You’re my wife, only on paper,” he hisses through his teeth, still cautious in keeping his voice down. His frustration doesn’t know its boundaries, choosing to take this anger out on you. “Stop trying to poke your nose into my fucking business, we’re strangers, and that’s all we’ll ever be. Drop the act, I’m done for today.”

Just like that, he storms off, which doesn’t quite particularly cause a ruse because for a wedding held for the both of you, there’s not a lot of people here that actually care for either of you. It’s as though this wedding is just a pathetic excuse for a larger-scale networking session.

Feeling even more pathetic yourself, you make sure nobody’s looking before you slip away, retreating to the rooftop garden—you need some fresh air after being so uprightly rejected by your on-paper husband.

Back in the dressing room, Sae locks the door behind him, knowing full well you didn’t deserve to be on the other end of his temper but not being able to bring himself to just apologise. Just as well, he figures. From the looks of it, you seemed pretty hopeful for the bare minimum being a good relationship but Sae can’t see it.

He catches his reflection in the mirror, barely recognising himself. A year ago, getting married wasn’t even in his radar. He’d thought of it before, sure, but would never have guessed in his wildest dreams that he’d get married to you of all people. 

There’s always an agenda for why his parents force these things on their children. If he was a shittier brother, he’d have let them drag Rin back for all he cared. But maybe it’s the way he can’t bear for them to ruin yet another dream that he so easily gave in. Or maybe he thought that this idea wouldn’t be so bad in the first place, maybe it’ll give him the chance to want to move past certain things.

Evidently, it’s not working well.

You’re pretty, and that’s something he didn’t lie about. You really are, but that’s all he can say. He can’t say he sees anything, any hope, any reason for him to want this to work out.

Sae sits down on one corner of the bed, pulling his phone out. He scoffs upon realising he doesn’t even have your number. What kind of fucked up marriage is this? Nothing was handled for either of you, so it’s safe to say that the only thing either set of parents cared about was that this went through. 

As he looks through his phone, contemplating whether to ask Oliver or Shidou to think of an excuse to let him bail from the celebrations before it ends, a text comes in, and this time, all the anger and disappointment disappears, all that’s left is the warm feeling of nostalgia and familiarity.

The contact he hasn’t seen in his notifications for a few years now lights up his phone, and all of a sudden he feels somewhat better. Though, her message itself makes him feel complicated inside.

Sae types a couple of responses, staring at it for a few moments before rephrasing himself and sending it through.

Hours later, after the celebrations are done and both of you are forced to drive back to your new apartment together, you sit in the passenger seat, staring out the window as Sae drives, sitting in complete silence.

As much as you want to save what this marriage could be, you’re not sure where to even start after how he flared up earlier.

Sae keeps his eyes on the road, too enveloped in his own thoughts to bother even turning on the music. His eyes occasionally flick over to your figure. Your fingers are trembling. Are you scared of this all or are you just feeling cold? Either way, he can’t bring himself to care. All he cares about right now is just finding a way out of this stupid farce.

After a fifteen-minute drive, both of you arrive at the apartment building; sleek black walls on the front and twenty-storeys high. Each floor is an apartment in itself, and it doesn’t take a genius to know that only the rich and wealthy stay here. By extension, that means your neighbours are either going to be complete strangers who don’t bother each other, or annoying young kids who host parties and have to be complained against.

Both of you head up to the top floor, neither of you knowing what it’ll look like—it was a gift from both your parents, saying how they picked out the best of the best for their children, and then periodically joking about wanting grandchildren. (You and Sae had completely ignored that part of the conversation.) Sae let you carry your heavy bags on your own, choosing to avoid any sort of eye contact all the way up. He’s just busy on his phone, and you can’t help feeling a little lost.

When you reach the top floor, Sae opens up the door; it’s made of heavy mahogany, slamming right back at you after he strolls in. You take a deep breath, pushing on the door to open and barely making it in, sucking it up because the last thing you want after an entirely shitty day is to have an argument.

Sae doesn’t even stop, just keeps walking, placing his suitcase in what seems to be the master bedroom. Truthfully, you wouldn’t know; this is the first time you’re even seeing the apartment. This entire place is huge, and thanks to this being on the top floor, there’s two floors and a high ceiling. All crisp and clean, walls a bright white, full contrast to the outer walls of the apartment.

Ten seconds later, Sae comes back out, finally making eye contact as he looks at you like you’re dumb for just standing there. If he does think that, he doesn’t say it out loud.

“There’s another room at the far end down the hall, you can use that one,” he tells you, matter-of-factly, as though you wouldn’t retort. (You don’t, but it’s annoying that he takes it as a given.) “And there’s only one key, but I’ll make a copy tomorrow and pass it to you.”

How romantic. The first night of your new life together and he’s relegated you to the far end of the house to sleep alone. You’re sure it wouldn’t be past him to enforce a rule of minimum contact at this point.

“Yeah, sure.”

You’re trying not to make a big deal out of this, because what would it even amount to? It’s not like you can get out of this, or else what’ll that do? Just impact your sister. But still, it completely sucks that your husband isn’t someone you love, isn’t someone who even wants to give it a shot, isn’t someone who’s willing to make himself bearable to live with.

An exhausted sigh leaves Sae’s lips as he tosses the keys onto a tray placed carefully atop the kitchen island. “I don’t think I need to remind you, but I didn’t want this and I think neither do you,” he says, his eyebags more apparent now that some of his makeup has caked off. “So I’ll keep out of your way if you keep out of mine.”

Spoken as if he truly hates your guts.

The wariness from everything that happened earlier—the wedding, the entertaining, the scepticism, your unwilling husband. What’s supposed to be a typically happy occasion has drained the complete life out of you, though it deigns to strip your hope entirely. Some nauseatingly optimistic cell in your brain is telling you that you still have to try, that it takes longer for some people to warm up to you, that if you give up then this might really just be it for the rest of your life.

So you nod your head and force a smile, even when Sae doesn’t return it, even when you know he won’t. “Mhm, okay,” you say, obediently, even though Sae just looks on at you emotionlessly, the only sliver of human that you see in him being the slight furrow of his brows. When he turns to walk back to his room, you call a goodnight! to him. All it gets you is a grunt of acknowledgement before he slams the door once he’s in.

Trudging your bags behind you, you dump them on the floor of your bedroom. The walls are pearly white, and the dresser is huge, a top-to-bottom mirror rests on the wall next to the closet. There’s even a bathroom inside, too, though you’d bet it’s smaller than the one Sae’s room has. 

It’s all very nice. Expensive, like the suite of a five-star hotel, and decorated lavishly.

But that’s all this is.

Nice. On the surface. It’s nice only to the eyes. Yet it can’t shake the foreboding feeling inside you that nags at you, warning you that Sae is just going to get even worse as you go.

Right as you’re about to spiral into a descent, you get a text from Reo.

You smile at his offer. Maybe if this was a few years ago. Maybe if both of you had acted on it when you knew the feelings were there. It’s been too long since then, everything that could’ve been is not—but what is doesn’t seem to have any hope of working out. 

Sighing to yourself, you make a mental reminder in your head to keep trying tomorrow. After all, you’re probably the only hope this sham of a marriage has at making it.

taglist: @kimvmarvel @mxplesyrvp @yuzurins @futuristicxie @kiopanxp @k0z3me @y-sabell-a @sae1toshilover @xoxojisu @karmatiz @sagejin @minnieminnie00-got7 @hearts4heidi @shiinobu-x @n1uh @prepchuu @leeyzhuo @shidouryusm @kaiserkisser

[blueninjablade3]

Yandere Jafar Alphabet

Good ole’ Jaffy doesn't really show affection through physical or compliments until you've fallen for him. The only real reason you KNOW he cares is because he's made sure you've not died.

Blood: How dirty is he willing to get when it comes to you?

Blood is NEVER the first resort. It's the third option. Now the first option is to try and weed them out of your life with subtle manipulation. If that doesn't work then he will directly tell them to fuck off. No shits given. Just “Get away or I will personally behead you” type things. Then if the threat doesn't work he’ll go through with it. After framing them for treason to make it look unsuspicious. (It doesn't work)

Cruelty: how will they treat you once kidnapped will he mock you?

Yes. He will mock you relentlessly at first. However, as you slowly accept fate. (Unwillingly) He’ll treat you more and more like royalty. Just don't forget your place. Otherwise well… you can guess.

Darling: besides kidnapping you would he do anything else against your will?

Yes. A great many things actually. Hypnosis, treason against the Sultan, part of his evil plan being to marry a minor (Gross.), and maybe killing?

Exposed: How much of his heart do you bear?

You bear quite a bit of Jafar’s heart. Now, his love for power and control outweighs his obsession love for you. However, you're still 3rd in his cold, dark, and evil heart.

Fight: How would he feel if you fought back?

Jafar would be PISSED if you fought back. He treats you so well and this is how you repay him?! You're so ungrateful! Any privileges are immediately lost if you fight against him.

Game: Is this a Game to them? Would he like watching his darling try to escape?

The love part is NOT a game. However, he does enjoy watching you try to escape. He thinks of it as a twisted game of cat and mouse. However, he's displeased that you're trying to run. Is he not good enough for you?

Hell: Your worst experience with him.

Y'all remember that one scene when Jasmine confronts Jafar about Aladdin’s sentence? So imagine that just with (for the story's sake Im calling your love Gary) Gary/ Oc’s name. But he doesn't apologize he just leaves you to yourself no friends to reach out to or anything. You only have him.

Ideals: what he sees in the future with you.

He sees himself ruling the world with you by his side as his wife and queen. Maybe an heir or two just so someone who has had some relation to y'all can inherit the throne. (He is not letting Iago be the world’s Sultan)

Jealousy: does he get jealous and if he does, does he find a way to cope or will he lash out?

Oh, honey. This man is KING (He’s finally king of something!) of jealousy. Now, whether you two are in a relationship or not affects how Jafar acts. If you are? He does not cope he lashes out and gets super protective (From the minimal research I've done, Cobras are a protective breed of snake and often battle for dominance which I think transfers to Jafar's human form). But, if you two aren't in a relationship he will (begrudgingly) bite his tongue.

Kisses: How does he act around you?

It depends on the day. Some days he's a sweetheart (Those are the good days). But on bad days… he is a literal demon. Don't mess with him on those days. Just cuddle up and pretend like you're not fazed by this and listen to his rant (maybe throw in a little shit-talking the Sultan).

Love letters: how would he go about courting/approaching you?

THIS SUAVE MF. Roses, chocolate, and fancy dates IF you start liking him immediately. Now he's a lot more subtle if you see him as a friend at first. But still.

Mask: Are his truth colors different from what people think?

You saw the movie you know. But if you didn't. Yup, they are very different.

Naughty: how would he punish you?

Too many ways to count. But still. hE’Ll tEacH yoU soMe rEspEct!!!

Oppression: what rights did he take away from you:

Freedom primarily. Also when it comes to political issues your opinion doesn't matter. (It does but he makes you think he doesn't seriously take it seriously)

Regret: does he regret kidnapping you? Will he ever let you go?

Fuck no.

Sigma: what brought this side of him?

This man is by definition is a yandere. You were just unlucky enough to catch his interest and hold it.

Tears: how would he feel if you cried screamed or Isolated yourself?

If you cry or scream (Unless you're crying because it's like a book, movie, or sentimental moment) Stfu is pretty his reaction. But if you isolate yourself he's making you talk to him or Iago one way or the other.

Unique: is there anything different from a normal Yandere

He can execute his rivals and no one will bat an eye.

Vice: what can you use to escape him?

You can't escape.

Witts end: would he ever hurt you

If you force him to.

Xoanon: how much does he revere/worship you and to what extent is he willing to go to win you over

He is insane over you. He is willing to go to extreme lengths (part of his reason for wanting the lamp is so you'll fall desperately in love with him.

Yearn: How long before he snapped and kidnapped you?

He was tired of this shit after the third rival. But he could wait forever for you to fall for him.

Zenith: would he ever break you?

Does a spell/ slash genie magic count as breaking you?

Alright guys that finished this story out if you have time and enjoyed I’d enjoy it if you left a heart, rebloged or commented. Have a great day!

[pancakeke]

hey just wnated to give a tip dont use tap water for the marimos, leave it out for 24 hrs, if possible use pond water or something with natural bacteria 🫡

I understand that you had good intentions by trying to give advice, but please understand that if I wanted advice I would have requested it.

and I'm really really not trying to be mean to you here, but this is a good example of how not knowing the context of someone's situation and then giving unsolicited advice can spread misinformation.

using pond/creek/river water for anything other than a pond jar is a bad idea. the contaminants this may introduce to an aquatic system far outweighs the benefits good bacteria may provide. potential water quality issues should be assessed by testing first. changes should be made based on test results, and only by means of safe chemical or bacterial additives.

good bacteria is most useful for eating up detritus and fish waste before its decay can create chemical imbalances in a tank. but I don't have any critters that poop and my marimo have never appeared to shed dead parts. if anything they generate more living tufts of algae that then start looking for a place to anchor themselves, which is a whole different problem.

again, sorry if this comes off rude but I see sooo much misinfo spread around the houseplant subreddits I follow as well as on instagram. a lot of it comes in the form of unsolicited advice that doesn't directly address anything at hand.

the (serious) fish/aquarium hobbyists are way more likely to be straight shooters, though I guess that comes with the territory when the hobby has a higher barrier for entry and it's easy to do tests that can back up your claims lol

my marimo have been cute and doing fine for the 6 years I've owned them. the only reason I killed one recently was because I neglected them all completely for months. I'm going a little more extreme with their setup now (like adding pumps and stuff) because this would either extend the time they can be left alone OR I'll want play with their habitat more, which means I'll check them more. also once I started looking at the types of aquariums equipment out there it all seemed fun and I wanted to get silly with things.

[ohgodimafraud]

panic! at the drugstore (j/jk, nanami)

hiiiii @ezynse merry xmas, happy new year, happy day. <3

im ur secret santa. <33 i hope u like this fic. ily. i want u to know the j key on my keyboard is challenged so i wrote "Goo" by accident sm ToT

(sorry for the title i dont even rlly listen to them i- )

please keep this to sneeze kink blogs only! 18+ only!

Summary stuff:

Fandom: J/JK

Characters: Nan//ami, Go/jo, Ijic/hi, Yu/ji,

Pairings: slight nana/go. in the way la croix has flavor

Good future AU (no bad stuff, everyones an adult. set in 2023)

As soon as Nanami detected Gojo’s presence, he should have turned on his heel and left. Instead, he’d gone into the drugstore, reasoning that the necessity of his trip outweighed the aggravation it’d cause. He wasn’t naive enough to hope he’d get out of here without any additional psychic damage but maybe he’d luck out and Gojo would— 

“Nanami!” Gojo sang from a few aisles over. This was starting to play out like one of his nightmares. Verbatim. “Wow, you shop here too?!” 

“Not anymore.” 

Gojo laughed easily and brushed off the obvious rejection with a wave of his hand. “Oh, don’t act like you’re not happy to see your best buddy!”

“I have no such thing.” Nanami sighed and drew out a cough in the process which he managed to muffle into the sleeve of his jacket. Anyone else would have read the room and left him alone, but Gojo continued to chatter on at a volume unfit for the public space they were in. If only he’d move back a few centimeters so Nanami could escape without having to push past him and potentially causing a bigger scene than they’re already causing. He’d already used up his energy—both cursed and otherwise—at work today and he was quickly fading. 

 For the first time, he wished he could focus on the bubblegum pop blasting through the speakers with its sentiments of Sakura blossoms and old times; it would beat trying to follow the embellished story Gojo was telling. He pinched the bridge of his nose. To make matters worse, the temperature change had caused the congestion that had mostly settled by the end of the train ride over here to return with a vengeance. His nose threatened to drip and he risked a small sniffle. Immediately, he recognized it as a mistake when the lingering prickle sharpened and traveled deeper into his nose.

As if he hadn’t sneezed enough today. 

“And after all that I got some wagashi at this great place near the hospital, Great Luck right? And haha it was! Anyway, the point is… I got some stuff for Yuji, but then I got hungry waiting for the car so I figured I’d better make up for it.”

Nanami made a point of checking his watch as a last ditch effort for a polite departure, less for Gojo’s sake and more for the sake of everyone else in this godforsaken store. But most of all for his own sake, considering he’s quickly losing the battle against the pertinent tickle up his right nostril. “I don’t have time to talk,” he said evenly, breath only wavering once he’s gotten the last word out. 

Unfortunately, Gojo clasped his shoulder, refusing to let him leave. “Did you take the train here? We could carpool instead, Ijichi is—”

“ht’KKxt!” Nanami interrupted with a poorly restrained sneeze directed into the sleeve of his jacket. 

“Bless you!” Gojo’s head lolled to the side; he had the decency to release him, but otherwise didn’t move out of his personal space. Nanami nodded and turned away. “Wow, that sounded painful. You okay?”

It was. “hGNXt’ch! h’kKt…chh.” Damnit. “Hh- kmpht’Chhh!” He might not have been able to see Gojo’s eyes, but he sure could feel them on him. This tickle just wasn’t going to quit until he let it out, and he’d rather end this as soon as possible. “h’eSCHh!” 

“Oh bless you.” Gojo, ever uncaring of displaying any decorum, took zero steps away from him. He examined him from a few different angles, tapping his chin as he hovered. “Bet I can guess why you’re here today!”

“Excuse me.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed small circles all the way into the inner corners of his eyes and tried to ignore the heat that had risen to his ears. His head pounded even harder than it had before. 

“Always so formal, huh?”

Always so inappropriately casual, huh? Nanami glanced at Gojo’s basket and its contents: strawberry shampoo, bags of candy, winter apple body wash, face masks, moisturizer, cotton candy flavored lip gloss, and more items he couldn’t quite make out, but surely none of them were essential enough to inconvenience Ijichi in the way Gojo was. Everything he’s learned about Satoru Gojo has been against his will, and now he’s horrified that his brain was wasting the time wondering if he’s one of those people who can’t go to the store and truly buy one item.

“So, how was your—”

“I don’t have time to talk. Excuse me.” Risking a shoulder check, Nanami walked towards the aisles. He tried not to sniffle more than strictly necessary and tried to ignore the extra set of footsteps behind him. Key word was tried.

“Oh wow, you really sound terrible.” Gojo said sympathetically, continuing to haunt Nanami all the way to the cold and flu aisle. “How long have you had that cold?”

Why did it have to be Gojo?

“Stop following me.”

“You forgot your basket, though.” 

So he did. “I don’dt need that much.” It was true, but Nanami accepted the basket anyway from the pouting man. 

“Mm, really? You kinda sound like you’re dying, y’know.” Gojo wandered around the aisle and picked up a box of medicine that he held up to his blindfolded eyes. “No offense.” A man started walking in their direction, took one look at Gojo, and immediately turned around. Nanami released a small forlorn sigh through gritted teeth.

“I’ll be finde.” he said, clearing his throat. He could curb the hoarse quality his voice had taken on, but the congestion was something he’d have to live with for now. “You mentionded Ijichi is waiting?”

“Yeah, so hurry up, Nanami!”

“I will n’dot be ri-ridi’hhgg wih—” He’d gotten distracted and hadn’t noticed that the itch from before had been slowly respawning. Gojo gave a questioning hum as Nanami his knuckle to his nose, sniffled sharply, and cleared his throat again. “I will not be riding with you.”

 “Aw, not with me?” 

Nanami shot him a glare. All of his efforts were in vain because the urge to sneeze returned with a vengeance and demanded his attention in a way that put Gojo’s efforts to shame. The prickle spread like wildfire through his sinuses, and in spite of his efforts in snuffing it out, he’d allowed himself to get distracted enough to give the enemy the advantage. “Hh-!” He inhaled sharply before shoving the back of his wrist up to his nose. “nGhthsCH! hh’NGXTCHh’ueh!” That last one had been particularly loud but had been just as unrelieving as its predecessors. “hehH’TSChhiuh!”

 Gojo patted his back. There was a warmth to his palm that Nanami could feel even through the layers of fabric acting as a buffer between them. “Bless you.” Using only his free hand, he easily broke the seal of a travel pack of tissues on the shelf and nudged a few tissues into Nanami’s palm.

“You’re supposed to pay first.” In spite of the protest, he fixed his glasses that were in danger of falling off his face and accepted the tissues; by noon, his handkerchief had become unusable and he’d already gone through the tissues he’d accepted at the train station this morning, so his options were limited. He turned away for a moment to blow his nose. While his efforts were productive, they did little to kill the taunting buzzing in the back of his nose. He pinched his nostrils shut from behind the tissue and willed the tickle to recede.

“Not yet! Hey if I buy your stuff will you ride with me? Wouldn’t you get back sooner that way? Oh, bless—”

“hh’MPHtchh!”

“—you again!”

He took a moment to massage the bridge of his nose in a silent apology to himself for the poor attempt at stifling before clearing his throat and bringing up sodden tissue to wipe the lingering moisture from the red rims of his nostrils. 

No amount of free cold medicine would make spending his free time with this absolute menace in a small enclosed space worth it, but at the same time it’d be less aggravating for him to just go along with it in the long run. Gojo’s already made it clear he has no intention of leaving him alone. He gave half a nod and picked up the first bottle of cold medicine that he saw and a bag of face masks and took a few steps in the direction of the check out. 

“That’s all you’re buying?” Gojo asked. His lips formed an exaggerated frown and his forehead wrinkled as if he was bewildered by Nanami’s shopping habits.

Nanami was too busy fighting a losing battle against the threat of another sneeze to tell Gojo to stop adding more items to the basket, but he managed to shoot him a pointed glare before his expression crumpled. “Hh- hehhH- …mPHTtshhiuh! Pardon,” he said more out of habit than anything and wiped his nose again, “I have more than enough now.” 

“So frugal.”

He supposed the cough drops, vicks, lotion tissues, vitamins, and nasal spray wouldn’t hurt, especially if accepting them will get Nanami out of here faster. Since he’d already opened the tissues, he figured he might as well put on one of the masks in the pack. His glasses immediately fogged and he tucked them into his inner coat pocket.

After they’d approached the register Gojo told the cashier they would be paying together and nuzzled his cheek against Nanami’s shoulder in an intimate way. He’d smack him later. 

The cold pierced through Nanami’s coat as soon as they opened the door. As annoying as this situation is, he can’t say he’s upset that he won’t have to walk back to the train station. They turned a corner and Gojo pointed out the car. 

“I know, I know.” Gojo opened the door to the passenger side and abruptly wrapped an arm around Nanami’s shoulder, yanking him into the field of vision as if he’d run away. “That took a little longer than I said, but look who I ran into!”

“Nanamin!” Itadori called out from the back seat with a cheery wave. Nanami is just as surprised to see him, though he’d mostly tuned out Gojo’s story. “No way, what a coincidence!”

Nanami shot Gojo a withering look and gave a slight bow to Itadori. “Itadori-kun…” 

“Think fast!” Gojo called out and threw a bag of candy at Itadori. 

He caught it easily. “Wow, thank you, Gojo-sensei!” 

“Gojo-san, we were meant to be back over a half hour ago—“

“Ijichiiii, you need to relax. Seriously, you’re already getting frown lines, that’s no good. Look, I even got something for you. Tadaaa~” He dropped a pack of instant udon into his lap and a face mask and made himself comfortable in the passenger seat. “Can you drop Nanami Kento-kun off first?”

“Don’t call me that.”

Ijichi sighed and took a moment before he half-heartedly thanked Gojo for the gifts. Then he turns to look at the backseat. “Of course, Nanami-san.” He and Nanami shared a quick glance as the cause of their stress tore into his own pack of candy and ate it noisily. 

“Oh, why are you wearing a mask, Nanamin?” Itadori asked as Nanami sat next to him and put on his seatbelt. “Do you have a cold?”

“It’s alright,” Nanami assured him and cleared his throat, “just a mild one.”

“I dunno if mild is the right word there, Nanamin.” Gojo interjected as Ijichi finally started driving.  

Itadori’s face fell and Nanami sincerely considered kicking the back of Gojo’s chair, though he was too busy pinching his nose shut over the fabric of the mask to stifle a sneeze that had nearly escaped his detection. “hGXxt’chshh!- excuse me.”

“Bless you. I hope you feel better soon.” Itadori frowned and offered him a piece of candy. Nanami shook his head and Itadori shrugged and ate it himself. 

“You’re gonna pop an eardrum like that,” Gojo chastised, clicking his tongue.

All of this was past the point of the nightmare he’d thought he was having earlier and was starting to veer into the fever dream category. Perhaps in more ways than one. Gojo flicked through the radio stations until he found what he was looking for and started singing along with a pop song. Itadori joined him and they pointed at each other while Nanami reflected on his life choices and folded his arms more tightly over his chest.  

Nanami glanced at Ijichi’s GPS. Twenty minutes of this felt like a death sentence. His limbs had started aching a few hours ago and now that the adrenaline was long dead and he was sitting again, he felt it in full force. The sudden urge to lean his temple against the foggy window arose and he indulged in it, ever so slowly pressing his forehead to the window. 

While Gojo was especially pitchy, the noise at least took the focus off of Nanami as he muffled a series of throat-tearing coughs against the crook of his arm. His lungs gave a slight whine as he regained his breath and he could feel the silent attention the other three men were giving him. 

“Can you breathe okay, Nanamin?” Itadori asked, patting his shoulder. If it were anyone else, Nanami would have batted the hand away, but doing that to Itadori would feel like kicking a puppy and it's not like he was heartless. While most people become hardened and jaded after living the life of a jujutsu sorcerer, Itadori remained as kind and genuine as ever over the years. 

Instead he nodded. “Yes. Don’t worry.” 

Itadori gave him a thumbs up. The singing continued and he pitied Ijichi for how long he’s had to put up with Satoru Gojo today. 

To Gojo’s credit, he toned down the singing, but Nanami almost wished he’d go back to his caterwauling, because his nose had chosen that moment to betray him yet again. It itched like mad and putting pressure on the tip of his nose did nothing to chase the feeling away. He did his best to muffle it into his sleeve anyway, hoping the extra layers would do anything to make it less intrusive than he knew it would be. “Hh- hgzt’SChhiuh! heHMPHhshh’ieuh!- pardon me.”

“Aw, bless you,” Gojo chimed in, stretching out his seatbelt as he turned his body around to face him. “Do you want my jacket, Nanamin?” He puckered his lips.

This time he let his shoe dig into the bag of Gojo’s chair. “No.”

Ijichi quietly turned up the heat. “Give him a break, Gojo-san,” he said tiredly. 

The rest of the ride quite literally blurred together as Nanami fought to keep his eyes open. With the heat on, his chills were kept at bay, and it was easy to drift off to sleep. He jolted and shook himself awake at least three times before the familiar building came into view, and the third time, it’d been because Itadori was saying his name to get his attention. Ijichi pulled up closer and stopped the car. Nanami thanked him for the ride and held up a hand to stop Itadori from offering a side hug. 

“Get well soon, Nana—”

Nanami shut the car door and ignored the rest of Gojo’s sentence. Getting into the apartment was a blur, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’d come home in rough shape, relying on autopilot. He immediately hung his jacket and loosened his tie, and then he removed his face mask, cringing as he pinched away the lingering moisture from his nostrils. He’d done his best to avoid rubbing his nose all day, but his efforts seemed to be in vain considering how sore it still was. 

As much as he wanted to just collapse into the couch, his discipline won out and he managed to undress. Though, not without challenge. “huhh…HGSCHh’uh!” He sneezed all over his chest, too slow to cover in his exhausted state. Undeniably, it was a relief to be able to sneeze freely in the privacy of his bedroom. “hh-...hDJtSchh’euh! hhaH’DTzSHhh’ih!” 

He found the tissues from the bag and blew his nose, letting out a slight hum of relief as some of the congestion came free. His eyes still ached and with a quick dose of medicine, he was ready to close them. He laid in bed with the extra throw blanket atop the comforter and waited for the chills to die down so he could sleep.

It  was restful for the first few hours. As he’d anticipated, he woke up in the early hours of the morning coughing, hair clinging to his forehead with sweat, and his mouth bone dry. 

3 AM. 

It was too early for this. He forces himself into the kitchen to fill a tall glass with water and to find a few more items from the bag. He took the cough drops out and put one in his mouth and placed the rest of the bag on the bedside table. 

Somehow knowing that he needed as much sleep as possible hindered him from doing so. He drifted in and out of sleeping for the entire morning, occasionally walking up mumbling something incomprehensible. 

He was finally asleep until his phone went off a few minutes past 6 AM. It wasn’t his alarm, but an obnoxious ding.

Gojo: 

heyyy nanamin~ 

… Nanami clenched his jaw as he watched the animated ellipses bubble and waited to see what could possibly be so important to disturb him.

Gojo:

good morning! 🌞hope u get some rest today hahaha :D you sounded awful 🤒dont go dying </3

Typically jujutsu sorcerers have about as much paid sick leave as he would’ve had at his former company: basically none. What kind of fucked up—

Nanami frowned, realizing he’d missed some other notifications, including the ones canceling his mission for the day. It’s easy to put the pieces together. He had to put the phone down to sneeze a few times, and it continued to ding throughout his fit.

Gojo:

we’ll have to go out when youre better!! next friday?? theres a new barcade i wanna try and then KARAOKE!!!!!! :DDD

Gojo:

Nanamiiiiii D: 

Gojo:

don’t leave me on read

Gojo:

bless youuuuu :3

Gojo:

no i cant hear u im just guessing

Gojo:

was i right?? o.O 

Nanami silenced his phone and went back to sleep, deciding to address the new situation, along with the strange feelings that’d started coming up, later. For now, at least he could relax. 

Nanami:

Thank you.

[wayfayrr]

With all the asks from 👾 I've been thoroughly inspired to write something for Hyrule in the House Husband AU because it now just lives rent free in my head AKSNNXKS (these asks were the inspiration)

The chain are in my house now which is just lovely, and while it's good to see that they're still safe. it's concerning that they were so focused on finding me that they'd abandon Hyrule for their search. Did they even see if there was a way for them to go back… or do they not care?

But if how Sage's body has reacted to being in this world for so long is anything to go off of?

Then some of the chain might need some time to adap-

"Hyrule!?"

No, no, no. Please let him be alright, he's part fae, of course, he wouldn't handle the lack of magic well. But I didn't think he'd faint on the spot!

"[name]? What's going on!? What happened to the traveller?"

"I'll explain later, just.. help me get him into my bed."

Where do we even begin, Sage doesn't have it this bad and there are no documented cases of magic withdrawal to look at. Would the best thing to do right now be to get him comfortable and keep him stable?

He’s still breathing, even though it’s worryingly shallow and his skin impossibly clammy. He’ll live though.

He has to.

“[Name] please. We all just wanted to see you, we didn’t - we didn’t think anything bad would happen.”

“Wind… It’s not your fault, Rulie’s going to be fine. I’m sure of it. We’ve got to stay strong for him alright?”

Rulie’s almost in my bed to rest now, if we can just get him comfortable then we can deal with the rest of this as it comes. Maybe I should ask…

“Sage, would you mind making some soup while I get Rulie stable? He'll probably need something thin for when he wakes up. Oh come on, you don’t need to pull that face love.”

Calling him that seems to have gotten him to show a little care for the others, even if it's just to get me to call him more pet names. Although the rest of the chain didn’t seem to like me calling Sage that, there are more important things to deal with right now.

Like getting Hyrule to wake up, if he stays unconscious for too long the only option would be to call the hospital, but that isn’t even a safe option because none of the chain has any ID which would cause a few issues, to say the least.

Starting with lowering his fever is a good idea, there should be something around here I could use. There’s a flannel I can dampen in the bathroom somewhere.

“Guys can you stay here with Hyrule and make sure he doesn’t get any worse while I go and get something to cool him down.”

“You’ve still not said what’s happened to him. Do you know what’s happening?”

“I have a hunch. Nothing certain, but we really need to focus right now. I promise you I’ll explain in a moment, Sky.”

Shoving past where they've all gathered in my room wasn't the easiest thing, but the adrenaline from all of this seems to be giving me an edge over the rest of the heroes, because I know if I didn't have that it should have been near impossible to do. 

Coming back with a damp towel; laying it on Hyrule; his breathing becoming more steady, making now the perfect time to explain to the chain what’s most likely happening to him. Now I’ve just got to hope that I can think of how best to explain what might be going on.

“You all want to know why Rulie’s like this? It’s a little hard to explain and I’m not even sure if it's right but I’ll try my best to explain.”

No response. They are looking at me with a lot of concern though, more than that as well but it seems their concern for one of their brothers is outweighing whatever else they want to tell me right now. Guess the best action would be to explain what I can then try to answer any questions they might have.

“You probably noticed Sage’s ears right? Something similar has been happening with him, we guessed it’s most likely due to the fact that there’s no magic in this world. Something to do with that seems to change Hylian or magical features to make them fit would be the best way to put it. Hyrule’s part fae, so the lack of magic impacted him far more as well as far faster than it did with sage.”

“... you’re saying that something like this is going to happen to all of us? That we’re going to lose our magic if we stay here?”

I don’t know if I’m simply hearing things or not but Legend sounded like he was weighing that up as an option. I know they were somewhat desperate to be with me seeing as they’ve gone through all of this to be here but to throw away part of themselves like this? Sage didn’t have a choice to be brought here.

Would he have chosen it if he had the chance? How they’re all acting, like this doesn’t seem world-ending to them, like they aren’t sacrificing everything they've ever known. I think he would have decided this in a heartbeat now.

“It seems like that. Unless you have a way back to Hyrule then I think it’s almost certain to happen.”

Rulie looks to be stirring a bit now giving me an excuse to step away from why the chain are acting so concerning; instead focusing on him as he wakes. Gently taking his hand in my own the only real thing we can do is wait for him to get up and then figure out how bad everything is. However long that may take, I’ll make sure to stay here by his side.

He doesn’t need to wake up alone with everything else he’s going through.

[dalishious]

hihi i was wondering how vesta gets along with the other companions??

Morrigan mentioned here.

Alistair and Vesta do not get along. Vesta initially distrusts him because of his past as a templar, though as he reveals he didn't actually want that life and is (for the most part) not like the templars she knows, this lessens. But Alistair's dislike of Morrigan starts to flood into Vesta too, since the two become so close, so fast. Then Vesta agrees to Jowan's ritual sacrifice of Isolde to save Connor, followed by becoming a blood mage herself, and this severely sours their relationship. Alistair is disgusted these choices, but there is a part of him that wonders if maybe he will be able to keep her from becoming an abomination, if he can only lead her away from what he considers a dark path. Because the thing is, Vesta has goodness in her, and that's something he didn't think blood mages were capable of having. Vesta, in turn, finds Alistair's fears annoying, but is too considerate to actually voice it (most of the time). So, they have this really unspoken unease, masked by polite banter.

Vesta enjoys Leliana's company, especially hearing her stories. Leliana finds Vesta to be a curious case; she's so used to being able to read everything about a person, but because Vesta had personhood denied from her so long, there's not much to read about her when they first meet. Like Alistair, she doesn't approve of a lot of the choices Vesta makes, but unlike Alistair, she is far more forgiving of these choices, believing that the good in Vesta outweighs the bad. And also unlike Alistair, she is far more gentle with voicing her opinions, so Vesta is a lot less annoyed.

Zevran and Vesta are best friends. She observes fairly early on that their upbringings had quite a lot in common, the only major difference being she was owned by the Chantry, and he the Crows. So, she sees a kindred spirit in him, someone to vent to, and listen to when he does the same. When Zevran talks about the nasty aspects of his time as an Antivan Crow, he is surprised with how compassionate Vesta remains, rather than either looking down at him. Zevran has always been dismissive of the tragedy he's experienced, but with Vesta, he slowly starts to allow himself to feel grief, especially for Rinna. She also helps him come to terms with having a future he can decide, seeing Vesta confronted with the same question for the first time, just like him. Zevran is one of the few in the party to always support Vesta's decisions, believing she has the right to live her own life. This kind of support means the world to Vesta. To sum it up, they help each other realize they deserve and want to live.

Wynne is a horrible reminder to Vesta of the life she wants to leave behind. She sees Wynne as someone she would have grown up into, had she not been recruited into the Grey Wardens, and that horrifies her. When Wynne tries to offer advice, Vesta usually does the exact opposite of whatever it is she says, and this frustrates Wynne greatly. When Wynne learns that Vesta has become a blood mage not long after joining the party, she is horrified. They fight about it constantly, because Wynne never quits bringing it up. And when Wynne eventually shares that she is hosting a spirit inside her, Vesta laughs in her face and calls her the biggest hypocrite she's ever known. They are bitter and hostile towards each other right to the end, only travelling together because Wynne refuses to see the warden's plight go unaided when she sees herself as a necessary part of stopping it.

Vesta pities Oghren, but every time she questions if there's more to him than she sees, he reminds her of what an inappropriate gross bastard he is.

Sten was not recruited. (Sorry, Sten fans - I usually do recruit him, but I didn't feel like it was in Vesta's character at the point of Lothering to go against the Chantry's wishes yet.)

I haven't really given thought to Shale, yet. It'll emerge when I recruit her, I guess.

[jamiesfootball]

❔

❔Choose a random WIP and talk about it.

So I've got this random wip that's been sitting in my drafts that is basically:

Roy and Jamie stick around after the gala talking to each other and having a surprisingly great time about it

'Give him an inch and he'll act like it's been three weeks' Jamie then shows up the next day assuming him and Roy are like. Best friends

'Takes 5 to 6 months to process things' Roy Kent is like fuck no. You're an awful person.

Jamie: *shocked pikachu face*

Roy: *does not want to feel bad about it* *does not want to feel bad about it* *the prick did it to himself* ........ *FEELS BAD*

Roy: be less of a dick and then we'll talk

Jamie: .......how much less of a dick?

Roy: what?

Jamie: like, 20% less?

Roy: No.

Jamie: 30%?

Roy: At least 90% less of a dick than your current levels of dickishness

Jamie: Can't go that high, I've got an image to protect. 75%

Roy: 80.

Jamie: Deal. FIFA at my place?

Roy: the fuck did I just agree to

What takes place after that is a slapstick level of antics as Jamie attempts (fails) (succeeds while failing?) to be exactly 80% nicer, which to him means that for every 4 '''nice''' things he does, he gets to cash in 1 free coupon to be a dick and Roy can't get mad at him for it. He's turned being nice into a points system.

"At least the good outweighs the bad?" Ted suggests when Roy tells him, which tells Roy that Ted isn't taking this seriously.

And the nice things he does? Somewhere between 'confused but he's got the spirit' and 'I guess that technically counts but I'm not happy with it.'

Nate - Compliments his hair every time he sees him. “Well I’m talking up, yeah? So his perceived value will seem higher than it actually is. Technically this should count as two since he's clearly insecure about it - I mean, why else would he keep dying it all the time. He isn't fooling anyone.”

[Isaac is now convinced Jamie is gay and in love with Nate. Colin is dying inside because when he tries to correct Isaac, Isaac acts like Colin is being homophobic. Jamie has no idea. Nate's self-esteem grows exponentially fast.]

Sam - Steps over him. Gets yelled at by Roy for not checking on his teammate. Points out Sam isn't actually hurt. Roy tells him it's still his job to back Sam up. Jamie backs Sam up by going at the guy who tackled him and gets yellow carded off the field.

This is not what Ted intended, but it's not...not the kind of behavior he wants from Jamie?

The entire team is just confused. Roy doesn't know how this became his problem.

Jamie is... confused for other reasons. Because he only did all this stuff, yeah, because there's this stupid bit inside him that he can't seem to shut up that's always been hurt that Roy Kent seems to hate him. And now Roy seems to (mostly) like (tolerate) him, and it's a little terrifying how fucking starved he is for that now. Not just from Roy either. Somewhere along the lines the other players on the team have warmed up to him too, and Ted looks pleased with him lately, and it all just way to much positive attention and validation for someone who's been starved for it for so long.

To his horror, the whole being nice thing is becoming a reflex. He hardly notices now when he tosses out a compliment that Nate's looking sharp today. He cashes in a point to tell Sam his passing was shit, then follows it up with a 'but you're looking faster out there' so he can start working up to the next point. Sam smiles at him like he never ever said the first part.

Sometimes Jamie catches himself being nicer and realizes he forgot to count it towards his points at all.

The more confused Jamie gets, the more concerned Roy finds himself about this whole weird situation. Frustratingly, he finds he actually likes Jamie. When he's not going out of his way to be a pain in the ass, Roy actually enjoys his company. Plus, now that he's tolerable to be around, Roy can stomach passing to him, and Richmond is starting to play well?

Then Jamie gets sent back to City : )

[nicosraf]

Hi Rafa!

Back again in your inbox and I have what’s probably a silly question but I am nothing but silly and goofy so I’ll ask anyway

I was thinking about yk the verious depictions of lucifer (as every sane and normal person does) and it got me wondering onwhat made you decide to characterise Lucifer the way you did, mainly because usually in modern media he’s very much seen as a anti-hero and mostly he’s seen as a good (-ish) guy that didn’t do too much wrong, the rebellion is usually very much written off as something akin to teenage rebellion and God is just seen as a disappointed parent that had no other choice but teach a lesson to his kids (and well that is of course because gods forbid someone sees God as anything less than the perfect father but I digress), for example the Lucifer series does this and in part too hazbin hotel.

And idk it was refreshing to see your read of Lucifer, he starts good and very much kidlike and then his wonder and love become corrupt I’d say, I struggle to call him evil because well for one I have what could be considered too much sympathy for him and I understand him, he was set up to fail in a lot of ways. So I guess I just wonder what made you say “no I’m going to keep the “bad” and “evil” that is in him”

(I am aware that the answer is probably just well he’s like that in most classical depictions but idk I want to hear you ramble about Luci and his development because that’s always interesting and I love it ajdhsh)

Sorry for the confused ramble anyway lots of love from Italy <3

-J :)

Hello! This is a dangerous question!! I have many many essays I'd love to write about the depiction of Lucifer in media and about what eventually led me to making Lucifer like that. It's also fresh in my mind right now because I saw that Lucifer Hazbin Hotel episode recently. (I actually don't have a ton of thoughts on Hazbin Lucifer. He is very cute, but Hazbin isn't trying to be theological I think; it's just having fun with the mythology.)

I would say that societal depictions of Lucifer always mirror a lot of the way that society has come to understand not the devil, but God, parent-child relationships, authority, tradition, and so on. Some people think Paradise Lost was the first to make Lucifer a hero, but it's actually very clear that Milton wanted his flaws to outweigh the good things, to make Satan ultimately a bad person, and to justify God's actions to us.

Like 200 years later, William Blake started saying that Paradise Lost was pro-Lucifer, though by accident: "Milton was of the Devil's party without knowing it." But Blake lives in a very different time, during the French and American revolutions and the industrial revolution. Old traditions and empire are getting shaken up, the story of Lucifer looks a lot more heroic.

I won't get too much into how Satanic panic affected things (or even the rise of anti-theist communist regimes!), though I think the Satanic panic of the 90s really exacerbated Lucifer's connection to teenage rebellion. (Also, I'm focusing on the US because of how much their media is exported and influences other countries).

But so then we got the modern Lucifer I used to see quite a bit — suave, night club owning, slutty, probably referenced bisexual, manipulator of women. I always thought this development was kind of strange. It's almost like what Blake did to Milton's Lucifer; we didn't change how the people before us thought of him, we just decided that the Lucifer we're supposed to hate is actually super cool.

But I was not super compelled by this Lucifer. And I reference these lines a lot, but the idea of Satan in Western Christianity came from several passages from the Bible, one of which is Ezekiel 28, and I was really struck with line 14: “You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created till wickedness was found in you," as well as the multiple times the chapter stresses that the cherub of Eden fell because of his corrupting beauty above all.

I realized I never really saw "blameless" Lucifer, innocent Lucifer. In a lot of interpretations, he's just sort of born wrong or always a little Evil. But the lines say that he was innocent once, and I got really caught up in that. I thought of God watching Lucifer be beautiful and innocent in all that time (like a voyeur).

It felt like the next step in Lucifer's development to take the child-parent relationship between him and God and make it ugly. (Though sticking with the dichotomy of good vs evil didn't really work for me. Lucifer isn't good but he's not evil either, and the weird love and hate mixture is what brings him closer to how God is, too (to me)).

We live in a day and age where all authority is being critiqued, where we don't laugh at teenage rebellion as much. I mean, if you watch any recent Disney movie, you'll see parents learning from their children to stop the cycle of generational abuse. And, of course, with Lucifer becoming so associated with queerness (Lil Nas' MONTERO for example), the framing that he's just a metaphor for a teen rebel who will one day realize his dad was right... falls apart. Lots of teens kicked out of their house for being gay are grown up now and making shows/movies/etc.,. And I think it's always better not to shy away from trauma victims being imperfect and, occasionally, cruel.

So. yeah! I've always been surprised that Lucifer as an imperfect victim of parental abuse, running away, taking some of his sibling with him, isn't more common in general.

[basil-does-arttt]

DMC Questions Anon here!

As we all know today is the 23rd anniversary of the first Devil May Cry game, and the series as a whole. So I want to hear you talk about DMC 1, what you love about it, headcanons you have about it, alternate scenarios you want to share, anything DMC 1 you want to talk about.

Hello again! This is gonna be a long post i have a lot to say lol

DMC 1 was my introduction to the series way back when as a little kid, when i watched an older cousin play it and eventually tried it out myself. This was also the PS2 version, and i was gifted the disc + console as well at some point.

The Alastor cutscene stuck in my head for literal years after i first saw it as a kid, that and DMC 3's mission 20 arena. Every so often it'd pop into my head as a memory, untill recently when i decided to get back into DMC fully rather than just occasionally remembering it.

DMC 1 holds a very special place in my heart because of that, its a huge nostalgia thing for me and is my favourite game in the series.

I love the setting and tone of the game, its so unique compared to the others, of course all in thanks to DMC 1 starting out as RE4. That whole gothic castle, almost horror vibe is something you dont really expect from hack&slash games these days, and even though it made for some real clunky and annoying moments in game (cough cough Nelo 2 and Griffon 2 cough cough...) to me, the good far outweighs the bad.

Oh and the soundtrack! Its so good, every theme works so well in the scene it's used for, even the abient tracks. I will say however, the bg music got real messed up on the HD remaster which is very dissapointing. (it sounds flat and doesn't have any echoing anymore, specicially the divinity statue room and Phantom's church arena in the start of mission 3). It may not be noticable to some who have only played the HD release, but i noticed it immediately coming from the PS2 version oof. I guess i have to be greatful that a HD release exists in the first place though, and it is a very old game. Still.

The combat also, (and this might not be an opinion shared by everyone which is fine) i feel is the smoothest out of any Dante in any game. All the attacks are so responsive, and although you're limited, you can still style on enemies pretty easily.

Finally the bosses. Arguably the best lineup of any DMC game, every boss is fun in it's own way and brings something new to the table in terms of mechanics. Phantom is a lot of timing correctly, Nelo pushes your fighting style to be more agressive and direct, Griffon challenges your dodging skills, Nightmare is a puzzle solving boss, and Mundus is all three. The designs are also amazing, and most of the arenas are perfect. Griffon 2 and nelo 2 aren't so great arenas but their 3rd arenas more than make up for it.

Okay enough of me gushing about how much i love the mechanics, some HCs i have for it!!

1/ That motorcycle Trish bust the door down with (and then throws at Dante) wasn't hers, right? We see it in the into cutscene before it cuts to Dante at his desk. Well, its my HC that was Lady's bike (she was not happy).

2/ (aside from gameplay mechanic reasons) The reason Dante cant use DT at the start of the game, despite having awakened it in DMC 3, is because Dante wants to push away from embracing his demonic side even more so now after his brother has been "killed". He always disliked being part demon and preferred not to tap into his demonic abilities because of that, demons are evil creatures after all and Dante is far from that, but that hate is even further exemplified after Vergil fell into hell.

3/ When Trish split off to fly solo as a devil hunter, she kept the name "Devil Never Cry" for her business. People do often confuse her for Dante's "Devil May Cry" especially when the names are abbreviated. Dante finds it mildly annoying, Trish finds it hilarious. (Sometimes she'll direct clients to Dante out of pity too when they call her number asking for Devil May Cry rather than Devil Never Cry, instead of convincing them she's the right person. Dante however always sends them over to Trish if they've called the wrong number.)

4/ Dante probably knew Trish was trying to lure him to his death on Mallet island, but he went anyways to avenge his family's death. We know he'd been searching for Mundus ever since DMC 3 (it says so in DMC 5's "history of DMC" cutscene), and he knows that finding and killing Mundus wouldn't be nearly as easy as Trish made it seem. Wether he came back or not, he was going to kill Mundus, or at least try.

As for alternate scenarios, i dont have much in mind. Maybe it would be interesting to see a scenario where Trish never betrayed Dante, and instead she tried to help him during the nightmare fight. It still would've ended the same way for her, but maybe also Dante wouldn't have gotten so angry with her when he saved her.

Ugh i just love DMC 1 so much, like i said before it holds a special place in my heart. I hope that answers everything :> <3

[bimtheory]

Trying to watch Marilyn Monroe films again because I feel like it's impossible to write a book about bimbos and not mention Marilyn, but it's proving to be difficult.

I'm trying my best, but I just can't figure out what people find special about her. And it's so hard to find any sort of truth. There are so many made up quotes and misconceptions just to further this narrative of Marilyn as the ultimate victim, people treat her like a martyr. If she's not being discussed and treated as a sex symbol she's being used as a symbol for tragedy, and would Marilyn even want that?

In a 1962 interview published by Life Magazine a day before her death, she had this to say:

"I don’t mind being burdened with being glamorous and sexual. But what goes with it can be a burden. Like the man was going to show me around but the woman said, “Off the premises.” I feel that beauty and femininity are ageless and can’t be contrived, and glamour, although the manufacturers won’t like this, cannot be manufactured. Not real glamour, it’s based on femininity. I think that sexuality is only attractive when it’s natural and spontaneous. This is where alot of them miss the boat. And then something I’d just like to spout off on. We are all born sexual creatures, thank God, but it’s a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift. Art, real art, comes from it, everything. I never quite understood it, this sex symbol. I always thought symbols were those things you clash together! That’s the trouble, a sex symbol becomes a thing. I just hate to be a thing. But if I’m going to be a symbol of something I’d rather have it sex than some other things they’ve got symbols of! These girls who try to be me, I guess the studios put them up to it, or they get the ideas themselves. But gee, they haven’t got it. You can make alot of gags about it like they haven’t got the foreground or else they haven’t the background. But I mean the middle, where you live."

And, later in the interview:

"It might be a kind of relief to be finished. It’s sort of like, I don’t know, what kind of a yard dash you’re running, but then you’re at the finish line and you sort of see you’ve made it! But you never have. You have to start all over again. But I believe you’re always as good as your potential. I now live in my work and in a few relationships with the few people I can really count on. Fame will go by and, so long, I’ve had you fame. If it goes by, I’ve always known it was fickle. So at least it’s something I experienced, but that’s not where I live."

None of this is paraphrased. And, personally, it sounds to me like she rather be remembered for being a sexy actress than whatever this is:

But a lot of people who claim to be Marilyn Monroe fans or even just mention her don't seem to care about or have any actual interest in her. Unfortunately, I think Andrew Dominik may have been right in that (most) people are not watching her films. I have friends that won't even touch movies from before 1980, let alone the 50s. And watching the clip of her performing Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend on YouTube is not watching one of her movies.

Marilyn is invoked when people want to a sort of classy sexuality, or beautiful "feminine" tragedy, which is bullshit.

But anyway, like I was saying, I don't get the appeal. And it's hard to find any writing approaching her honestly and critically instead of constant "she was a perfect angel that could do no wrong"-tier glazing. I don't mean to be rude; I have nothing against her, and her life did seem tragic in some respects, but it always feels like the praise outweighs the reality of the material. Like people felt bad having been so judgmental about her after the circumstances of her death that they overshot trying to make up for it and Marilyn became indicative of the tragedy and mistreatment of every woman, a myth that has been passed down for generations at this point.

I don't know. That's just how it seems to me. I read people talk about how great of an actress she really was, but I don't see it, and people conveniently always forget to explain how she was a good actress or what made her so great, just "she trained at The Actor's Studio!", a lot of actors did.

[crowwritesaway]

Thomas Shelby Best Friend XXVI pt. 1

Zoey was furious. It had been weeks since she broke up with Jade. What was it? The third. Fifth. Eight break up. Jade brought up the fact that she needed to change. That she needed to act normal once again. Zoey scoffed. I guess it’s my fault too. I keep going back to her. Ada was right. Your first love stings. Feels like forever.

She looked down at her shoes. She frowned. I don’t to be without her but it hurts a lot. The love that once made me feel invincible, unstoppable, and unconditional has turned into conditional, flawed, and unfulfilling. A ghost that haunts me.

On top of that, her family left. Only her twin stayed behind. They had enough of Birmingham. A note was all she had from them. It’s been months with contact with her other siblings and mom. I guess they had enough from me too. Got tired of my unforgiving nature. She felt their absence. The silence that surrounded her house. She missed her mother cooking. She missed her jokes. She missed the good times even though the bad outweighed the good. She missed them.

“I’m supposed to be okay, but I’m barely holding on.” Zoey sighed, no matter what she did to distract herself, her mind kept bullying her. Replying unwanted memories.

“Thinking about running away.” Lucas asked her, nudging her with his arm. Zoey shook her head. “No.” Not this time.

“Smile. It’s a wedding not your funeral.” Lucas told her. “If I’m honest, I’d prefer a funeral.” Zoey shrugged her shoulders at Lucas wide eyes. “Lucas. Go find something to do.” “Alright. See you at the chapel.” Zoey hummed in return.

A lot happened in the span of a year and a half. Her mother had abandoned her. She had finally given up on her. She rolled her eyes. She knew it would happen but it was unexpected.

She looked down at her shoes. She had broken up with Jade once again. It hurt more. It stung a lot more than the first time. She had gotten back together with her despite Thomas warning her to stay away from her. I don’t want to be without her but I don’t want to drag her into a relationship that seemed to be doomed from the start. Maybe I’m meant to be alone.

“Let’s go. We don’t want to be late. Come on, Michael. Close the door behind you.” Zoey looked up. “Finally. If I don’t know it was Tommy who was getting married, I would assume it was you.” Zoey playfully said to Polly. Polly smacked her on the arm. “Such a sweetheart.”

Michael locked the door and went over to the car. “Let’s go. Mum. Zoey.” “Going.” Zoey opened the door so Polly could get in the car. “Thank you.”

“Ohh, Zoey. I would prefer if you go get John and his family. God knows they need the extra help.” Zoey grinned. “Don’t I know it.” Polly laughed. “Alright. You go ahead.”

Zoey jogged down to her car. She unlocked her car and got in. She unbutton her suit before turning on the ignition. She glanced around before driving over to John’s house.

She pulled up to his driveway and parked. She exited her car and closed the door behind her. She walked over to the entrance of the house. She lifted her hand and knocked. “Who is it?” She heard Esme scream. “Zoey!” She yelled back. Upon hearing her voice, the door immediately opened. “Come in.” There stood John trying to fix his tie. “Polly sent me over to make sure you all made it back in time.” Zoey walked past John.

John closed the door. “We’re nearly done. It’s the kids who keep running off. Losing my fucking mind.” Zoey laughed. “What? Come on they’re angels.” “Get back here.” Esme chased after one of the kids. “Angels. Yeah, right.”

“Alright. Go help your wife. I’ll sit here.” Zoey sat on the couch. “Not gonna help out your John.” John huskily told Zoey. Zoey stared up at him. “No.” She said, looking away. “Now, hurry up before Polly scolds me.”

“John! Come help me! They’re driving me bloody mad!” Esme yelled after failing to catch one of the kiddos. “Duty calls.” Zoey waved him off. “Yeah. Going!” John ran up the steps.

One hour and a half later, they finished getting ready. Zoey had helped changed Katy before leaving the rest to Esme and John. She went to sit back down on the couch. She looked at the staircase when she heard some steps.

Down the steps came down the second youngest, Mason. He waddled over to Zoey. He had a little suit on. Zoey smiled as he approached her. “Zo.” He reached out to her. “Mason.” She picked him up and set him beside her. “Tired.” She asked, seeing him rubbed his eyes. He yawned. “Let’s leave.” She picked up Mason and let him lay in her arms. “Come on.” John and Esme glanced at each other. They had one thing in mind. Zoey was so soft when it came to their kids. They practically got whatever they wanted from her.

They made in time. They got in their seat. “Where were you?” Polly whispered to them. They took so long. “Getting ready. The little ones are stronger than they look.” Zoey said, while handing a fussy Mason to Esme.

Stay around for more of Thomas Shelby Best Friend

[incesthemes]

so the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in hell.

and i want to postulate on this concept of the righteous man. both john and dean are considered by this prophecy to be "righteous men," and of course they are both candidates for michael's vessel. it's in their blood.

but at the same time, this is a destiny that must still be fulfilled. action is required to create a righteous man—aka, they have to be sent to hell in the first place. they have to become worthy of being michael's vessel through their participation in starting the apocalypse.

john dies in 201. he's at peace; he's accepted the terms of his deal, and he's accepted his fate. his soul and the colt for dean's life.

there are two conflicts presented across season 1:

the first is on the topic of revenge. ultimately, the conclusion is that revenge is pointless, it will lead to no positive outcome—the past has already happened, and once blood is spilled there's no getting out of it, no stopping. knowing what happened to her brother didn't make kathleen feel better about his death. max killing his family didn't make his pain go away.

the second is on the topic of family. it's a more subtle theme, i guess, suggesting that family will invite destruction to everyone around them. the tagline "the good of the many outweighs the good of the one" is proven to be erroneous and ruinous: by choosing the family, by choosing to protect loved ones, great harm will inevitably come to the outsiders. we see this foreshadowed in 111; we see this exemplified when dean shoots and kills an innocent man in 121.

so choosing revenge and choosing family are both bad choices. but the conflict of season 1 is revenge vs family—sam as the protagonist has to choose one or the other. he's not given a third option.

john, however, finds that third option. he abandons his quest for revenge by relinquishing the colt to azazel, and he abandons his family by sacrificing himself. the act of sacrifice is seen as a selfish one (see: crossroad blues), one committed by a man who cares more about his own feelings than that of the person he saved. this is the recurring narrative throughout seasons 2 and 3—it's not something that john did for his son, it's something he did for himself. and in fact, his act of sacrifice puts sam and dean in more danger by leaving them without a weapon to combat azazel and without any of john's knowledge about the demon or sam's fate.

he doesn't choose revenge. he apparently doesn't choose family. he found the third option: he removed himself from the story.

so he managed to choose both "correct" options: he avoided ruin by abandoning his revenge, and he avoided ruin by abandoning his family. and he went to hell.

he became a righteous man, set to break the first seal to the apocalypse.

dean ends up following these exact steps at the end of season 2—the difference is that doing so is dean's fate and not necessarily john's. the other difference is dean is not at peace with his decision to die. john went to hell but he had accepted it. he was ready and willing to go, and he took what was given to him. even in all hell breaks loose, he's happy and serene in death, in hell. it's his commitment to his actions that separate dean and john.

but dean, through sam's influence, second-guesses himself, and his own shame and hypocrisy stir within him doubt and uncertainty. he doesn't want to die; he doesn't want to go to hell. when he gets there, he screams out for sam, wanting to be saved.

dean breaks. john doesn't.

obviously dean going to hell and breaking the seal was part of his destiny—that much is obvious. but i think it's important that it's dean's actions and decisions that lead him down that path, that he's not a passive receptor for his fate. it doesn't happen to him; he chooses it. sam has to act and decide in order to fulfill his destiny, so dean should be beholden to that same thing. which is why i like this interpretation that it's this selfish sacrifice that creates a righteous man—by dean's own hands he creates his destiny and starts the apocalypse.

john was able to escape this because he's not faced with the same conflict dean is. he's able to find peace and take himself out of the story, choosing both "correct" options and being okay with those decisions. dean makes those same "correct" decisions as john (in dean's case, the conflict he is given is not revenge vs family but duty vs family, and he abandons his duty and his family all the same), but he lacks the conviction that john has. he can't remove himself from the story, he's filled with doubt and unresolved tension, he can't let go fully. there is no peace in dean's story, and the righteous man broke.

and as he breaks, so shall it break.

[moorishflower]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @landwriter for the tag <3<3<3 Answers under the cut!

How many works do you have on Ao3? 227!

What's your total Ao3 word count? I broken two million this year! :)

What fandoms do you write for? I guess you'd say my "main" fandom is still The Sandman, because that's what really started me writing again, but I'll write for any piece of media that inspires me. I've written for The Terror, the D&D movie, Dungeon Meshi, Supernatural, Sherlock, and Homestuck at various points.

Top five fics by kudos: 1. aulon raid - In which no neonazis are allowed in the New Inn. 2. Curse of the Green Hag - The one where Xenk Yendar is cursed by a hag and he and Edgin have to fuck about it. 3. Ecdysis - Undressing and armor and bathing. 4. That I Should Wedded-Be - This was my first attempt at something longer. It's definitely not one of my better ones at this point but it was one of the first ones so it has a lot more kudos. 5. Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow - The one where Hob fucks Dream on his desk.

Do you respond to comments? I would really like to, but I find that I often don't have the energy, and because I want every response to be unique and thoughtful and just for that person, it means that I feel really bad if I give a simple "thanks!" and nothing else. Inevitably the bad feeling of not responding in a meaningful way outweighs the good feeling of getting the comment, so now I really only respond to comments if they address me directly or ask a question.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? the long way down maybe? It has a more open "hopeful" ending. I don't usually let things end on a low note!

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Hallmark-Adjacent, I think. Literally ends like a Hallmark movie lol.

Do you get hate on fics? Once or twice it's happened. If it's happened since then I haven't been aware of it. I'm sure a lot of conversation goes on in like, discord channels and such that I don't follow. I'm not particularly interested in debating with people about the intentions or morality of my writing. I try to be as authentic and inclusive and respectful as the setting and story allow me to be, but I'm also human and fallible. *shrug* I grow and learn more every day. Expecting perfection from people is an exercise in frustration and futility.

Do you write smut?

yeh

Craziest crossover: Wrote a BBC Sherlock/Homestuck fusion. That was fun.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of. If it was like Cocoon or Maybe sprout wings I think I'd be really upset about it because I put so much into those, but I don't know if I'd feel particularly devastated if it was anything else. BSN, maybe. I mean it would suck? That's a shitty thing to do, but also, you're not earning any real clout or money by doing it, lol.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! A number of my fics have been translated, mostly into Russian (thanks chainsmoking and Bonniemary!), and one into Spanish (thanks Dhixi!). I'm incredibly flattered every time someone takes the time and effort to do a translation. It's an incredible art.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, though not recently.

All time favourite ship? Listen I write so much for Sandman but truthfully? Mulder/Scully. Alpha and omega ship. Don't know if anything will ever compare.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? At this point, The Whole of Love Contained is so far removed from my current writing style that I would have to restart from scratch, I think. I'm not counting it out forever, but there are other ideas I've had that I'm more interested in pursuing first.

What are your writing strengths? I really like sentence construction. The flow of it. How you can use punctuation to make it stop -- and then carry on, giving it purposeful structure. I've been told I have a talent for inserting life-altering sentences into the middle of things so that they hit you like a punch. Idk I'm bad at listing my own strengths. I like to research things a lot?

What are your writing weaknesses? Pacing, definitely, and action scenes. I always feel like my action scenes have low-stakes feel to them. And dialogue. I think a lot of people struggle to write realistic dialogue, though, so that might not just be me. Keeping the momentum going. Sometimes I'll be so focused on reaching one specific scene that I'll lose track of how to actually get there, and I'll stall out. I feel like I have a lot more weaknesses but I struggle to articulate them beyond a sense of deep dissatisfaction with my own writing, especially in comparison with other writers whom I greatly admire. I feel often like I'm churning out things that are easily-digestible and entertaining, but not necessarily meaningful, or not conveying what I would like them to do. Logically I know that "entertaining" is a value unto itself, and nothing to scoff at, but still. The writer's hubris, maybe.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? Kind of depends on what you're using it for, I suppose. I tend to stick with one narrator's POV, so it can be useful if the narrator doesn't speak that language, but we, as the readers, can pop the sentence into translate and get the gist. I tend to use that sparingly as a gimmick, though, because I'm not multilingual except in the very most basic of terms and I prefer being correct to being aesthetic, lol.

First fandom you wrote in? If you want to be technical, it was Harry Potter. But the first fandom I wrote seriously for was Heroes.

Favourite fic you've written? I'm still proudest of Maybe sprout wings. Not sure if I'll ever write something like that again, where so much of it just felt right. And it got a compliment from a writer I admired very much in Homestuck fandom, so I reckon I did something right with it.

I'll tag @arialerendeair and @dsudis because I know you've both been in fandom for a while and I want to hear your stats <3