#but the circumstances of my life could be uhhhh a lot better for me

[herrlichersonnigertag]

oh babes the consequences of having multiple disabilities that make each other worse sure are being felt

[slocumjoe]

If you were to rate the Fo4 companions from most to least favourite how would you rate them?

I can't list them in order, because I have too many feelings on them....and also, I love them all! It's just...there's such a Rollercoaster of quality of writing, of character concept, of VA performance, of actual attention and care given to the meat-and-potatoes aspects...

Like, I can say I have a favorite (Danse) and a least favorite (Piper) and a dude in the middle who I give not a crap about (Deacon), but I still like these characters??? They're fun! Its just, I like my idea of them more than what's actually there.

So, uhhhh

RORY TALKS ABOUT THE COMPANIONS 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

this is basically a long-post of a bunch of mini-essays, so grab a snack or nice bev and get cozy

Cait, to me, is a prime example of "this character sounds better on paper". I've already complained about her three greatest flaws; being bloated, being mishandled, and being a very confused character. If I were to describe Cait, it would be that she's a troubled young woman who was traumatized all her life, but understands that it's effected her heavily and wants to work past it and better herself.

In game, she's...an Irish Girl. She talks about drinking and fucking and fighting. If not that, she's detailing her absolutely horrific life. It gives me tonal whiplash. I feel like they were too busy adding things on rather than fleshing her out. I mean, really...what is the significance of the Tough Irish Girl type in the wasteland, where everyone acts that way? Is Cait an example of your average wastelander, someone whos supposed to show the daily life in this world? Well...no, that can't be it, she's put away from others, an outsider who doesn't fit in whatever circumstances she finds herself in. She doesn't belong with raiders, she doesn't fit into the average civilian life. So, is she about ostracization and how even after being nuked, there still is a society to ostracize people? That is brought up in text, but that's not at all Cait's thing, that concept is with Hancock.

I travel with Cait to quickly get her affinity up to speedrun her "recovery" (see the Cait breakdown to learn my thoughts on That Fucking Chair) because I want her to get better...but I don't like traveling with her that much. It's not just that she often disagrees with my usual choices, she's just rather flat. I don't get the impression that the writers really considered her psychology, what she stood for, what someone should or could take away from her.

But I like her conceptually. There's a lot of fun and emotional catharsis to be had with a traumatized character like her, someone who has to navigate life after escaping her bad situations, and not knowing what to do with the survival instincts she had to cultivate, but no longer needs.

Codsworth is inoffensive to me, and I like sassy but polite characters. I find them refreshing in settings like Fallout. I had more fun imagining his lines as thinly-veiled bitching than sincerity, though. I think he's fine, just simple. Simple is best, sometimes. I wouldn't trust Beth to give the indentured servitude robot an even remotely palatable story, given how they handled the synths and their whole thing...

But Codsworth, I like having him around. He's the lemon water to the black coffee, sugary soda, whiskey, and occasional cups of tar. He's needed at a palette cleanser.

Curie should have been a main plot companion, argue with the wall. She's a Ms. Nanny who becomes a synth, which are functionally human beings. She has a lot of narrative potential, being an example and counterargument for many different things.

Unfortunately, she's kept mostly a secret, being the most hidden companion, and she's left as a simple French maid fantasy. I'm not even sure why they bothered to make her a doctor. It has nothing to do with how she's actually handled and presented. Curie's more often blushing than meaningfully interacting with the world. She talks to Amari, she becomes a synth, and the rest of her story is just her going KYAA~ at the SS. I wish they gave her some edge, some weirdness. I like my version where she's this slightly pretentious, condescending, incredibly old-seeming entity that clearly doesnt come from around here.

Danse...my boy. My boy. I adore him. You don't need me to explain why. And you don't need me to explain why his incomplete writing infuriates me.

I've said before he's very similar to Hancock, and since I have something else I want to discuss about with Johnny down in this, I'll use Danse's slot to discuss it, very quickly.

Danse and Hancock are remarkably similar people and characters, even there is parts that drift or parallel in their differences.

Substance dependency (Hancock does chems, Danse is a canonical alcoholic)

They both struggled to find their footing and place in the world, and hate the people they were in their act 1's (Hancock's takes place during his founding of Goodneighbor, Danse's after BB)

They're fiercely loyal and protective of 'their people', even if it can take a LOT for them to consider someone 'their people'

Both are suicidal and identity plays a huge part (Hancock pretends to be someone he isn't, Danse is desperate to be the person he thought he was this whole time/hates that he isn't who he thought he was)

Both of these characters are two sides of the same coin. It's just that Danse's upbringing led him to believe in authority and control being the best way to help and take care of the wasteland, Hancock's upbringing (filled with corrupt authority and control) led him to believe in an egalitarian, we-all-lift mindset where the people have the power, he's just the guy who people talk to about any issues. It's somewhat implied that Cutler was similar to Hancock, judging by Danse's few lines about Cutler.

So uuuhhh Todd where the fuck is the last 2 arcs for danse and last arc for hancock? todd? todd where the fu

As said above, Deacon is nothing to me. I like him. I don't care about him much. I think he's fun to play with, but the moment you start getting into his backstory/angst, I slide right the fuck off.

Okay, the Barb thing. Dead wife. Fucking boring story, done to death. At the point I met Deacon, I had already met Mac, Nick, knew of Longfellow and his deal. So it was like "JESUS they really dont know any other reason for a dude to be sad, do they." But the thing that keeps me from caring about Deacon is that no one can agree if Barb is real. If that actually happened.

...his backstory is supposed to inform his character. Why is Deacon doing this? Because of his backstory. If his backstory isn't real, we know nothing about Deacon, and he is, functionally, not a character. Why does Deacon lie if Barb didnt happen? Dunno. He just...does. Why is Deacon helping synths? Uhh...we needed an RR companion? Deacon's character rides or dies on Barb. If she's real, then the rest of him makes sense. She's the windex and towel to the cloudy glass house that is the rest of him. If she isn't, Deacon...doesn't matter, in any meaningful way. He's a guy in the RR who lies about everything, which means you can't care about him. Because there is nothing to care about, because it's all bullshit.

So, that's my thoughts on Deacon, in-canon. I don't know what his deal is or if his proposed deal is genuine, so I can't click with him. But in my own canon, Barb is real, so my Deacon ken-doll does appeal to me. But in Fallout 4, in text, I regard him the same as I do Tom Bombadil. To give you an idea of how flimsy Deacon is in text, a prevailing fan theory from around 2017-18 was that Deacon was Mrs. Rosa's son. Mrs. Rosa was a pre-war neighbor. Her son was a kid. The fact that Deacon is so weird and fluid and almost omniscient isn't a plus for me, it isn't a point of fascination. It's a puzzle that I know doesn't have a finished product, so I leave and go hang out with Danse, who can't speak if he isn't being absurdly blunt.

Gage is a character that deserved a better DLC. The more I think about Nuka World the more I kinda wish it was just Gage and the handmade rifle, instead the map...but that's about Nuka World. Gage himself could have easily been a swing and a miss and fall face-first into the dirt, but he's a surprisingly well-written character? There are layers of psychology with him. You can look at an action or opinion he has, and map it to something that happened to him. You can literally unravel why he does what he does, is who he is. His writers had a concept for him, and they worked backwards to understand why he would become that way.

What really sells him is his VA. Rolston put his whole pussy into that performance. Gage has so many lines that would be utter cringe if not full-assed. The "That vault suit makes your ass look great" line comes to mind...i've seen modded followers with similar lines, and jesus christ i want to pepper spray some of them. It helps that Gage has multiple faucets to his personality. It also helps that he is intentionally distinct from the other raiders, and occasionally doesn't associate with them, himself. It gives him standards and principles, which help give him shape and dimension. Good character. He isn't my favorite, that's Danse, but he's up there.

Hancock is such a waste of a character and it boggles me no one else seems to think so.

He starts on a bad note because his core reason for existing, is Beth wanted a historical figure reference. There's a reason he gives you a history lesson about John Hancock, it's so everyone knows exaclty what Johnny Ghoulie is a reference to. It's not even so much a reference, because it is a direct mimicking. I cannot stand the moments in 4 where something exists because the team learned a fun historical trivia fact, and wanted to pepper in that they did research. I've already bitched about their love of this with the Railroad at some point on this blog.

I genuinely wouldn't mind Hancock if he wasn't pulling so limp-dickedly. It's specifically the contrivance of explaining why this dude is called John Hancock, in John Hancock's clothing. It's okay if they pull from history and allude to it, But Hancock is just...some history stuff tacked on, with no real thought or care. The clothing, the name, the catchphrase. I feel like this is Disney's Hamilton on Ice.

But moving away from that...what is the point of Hancock?

Is his character about drug use and addiction? NOPE, only Cait's addiction is noteworthy. Okay...idenity issues, since he's larping? Not really. It could be, but that's not at all of interest to the story/writing itself. The Hancock thing is an aesthetic, not a trait. So, don't have that either. Is his character about leadership, in any capacity? Kinda, I guess. He briefly mentions insecurities and guilt about it a few times. But if I said "Hancock's story is about leadership", most people would raise an eyebrow and ask why. Not because it's...wrong, it's just not prominent enough to say that's his story, definitively.

So...what is the point of him? What should I take away from Hancock? Duty to the people? Preston does that, and does it better/more explicitly. Regret about past actions? Mac does that. Protecting the people from political corruption? Piper's thing (AND WE'LL GET TO FUCKING PIPER.) What is there to Hancock that isn't done by another companion? It isn't his depression because ALL these bitches be suicidal. What is unique to Hancock? Pretending to be someone else? Deacon. Drugs? Cait. Trying to figure out who you are, removed from the expections that come with having been someone else? Nick. Leadership, and the failures of it? Danse. Struggling to navigate the world in a new, different body, as a new person, functionally? Curie.

The only thing I can think of is mentioned only twice, and is immediately brushed off; the questionable nature of your leader being buddy-buddy with you, and acting like 'one of the bros' even as they hold power over you and have resources you don't. Parasocial government, if you will. It's brought up by Finn and Bobby No-Nose and is shut down/forgotten.

So...the only thing unique to Hancock, and it's regulated to, like, 3 individual throw-away lines. 2 of which you can miss.

Great.

Again, I like him. I just like him when I'm writing him, and can actually have him work through his shit and concepts. But as he stands, he's just...hey, y'know John Hancock? New Vegas also pulled from history, but New Vegas had shit to say about it. There was debating. There was actual philosophy and politics. There wasn't some dude named Caesar who was just...hanging out. What does Fallout 4 say about John Hancock?

Here's something you can say about Hancock; Hancock owned slaves. He inherited them from his uncle, Thomas Hancock. He later freed them due to terms in Thomas' will. But the guy Fallout 4 meagerly puts up as a figure of freedom and independence, and duty to fellow man, was a slave owner, and had slave owning family.

So, what does that mean for our Hancock? Who looked up to this guy, mantled him, and this guy is, in some way, a perversion of his own ideals.

And our Hancock's favorite quote is from Lincoln. Who started the Civil War. Did Lincoln own slaves? Contested, i couldn't find any clear answers. But Hancock mantles a slave owner, using a quote from the president that would try to outlaw slavery, while pushing for freedom and independence and anarchist rhetoric.

Is that the best you can do with Hancock? No. But it's an example.

MacCready, I've compared to a can of Campbell's soup. He's simple, he's decently-done. He's not Codsworth's lemon water but he isn't Cait's tar. I often struggle to write MacCready because he's so simple. There's not much there, he isn't a complex character. He's not even a complex person. And I like that! I like that the grumpy mercenary is a normal guy, who's just going through the motions and has simple desires. His type is often tar and I'm happy to see that subverted.

Its just that his lack of complexity means there's not much to say about him that you don't already know. He's accessible, which is a good thing. Most people don't want to drink tar, but if you're reaching for a fun beverage, you're not often reaching for water, either.

I think the best thing about MacCready is how excellent he is as a romance option. I think he's the strongest romantic choice in the game, period, largely due to him being a simple guy. I would go for MacCready IRL, because he's a good dad, he has good work ethic, and he's emotionally available and isn't afraid to talk feelings, without being a clusterfuck of issues. I love Danse, but you have to talk him out of suicide before you do anything, and he himself will admit that there's going to be a lot of issues simply because he doesn't know what he's doing or what he wants out of his new life.

You don't get that with MacCready. He knows what he wants and who he is and what he cares about. He's such a solid romantic interest, and there's incredible fic potential with the Sole Survivor and MacCready both as soon-to-be grieving parents.

On the flipside, I can't understand people who romance Nick and think its all sunshine and roses. Mini-rant, but /rad-roche (i think thats their user?) has the right idea, with Nick being a hot mess of unresolved issues who is never not projecting or in denial. Nick is not fit for a romantic relationship, not in the state you see him in game. Especially not before Far Harbor. Especially if you don't get the good ending of Far Harbor. I know, bisexual women, I'm sorry. He's got more shit than Danse and Hancock combined. I write romantic Nick prompts as if this isn't the case, but make no mistake. Me giving yall what you want is not me under the impression that this is a good idea.

Anyway. Nick himself.

Dead wife. Booo. I've already complained about his dumbass quest, which i really dislike for all its contrivances. Also, I find him mismatched with the world around him, and I wish there was more attention paid to that. He's a stock character playing out in real life (in Fallout 4's real life, that is). He's a 40's noir flick detective. This character does not belong in a post-apocalypse. This is an urban setting character. Fallout is not urban.

But that doesn't mean he can't exist! I just wish they went more ham with it. I mean, how does a detective function in a lawless wasteland, full of secrets simply because there's so few people see shit happening, know what goes down? It's an information blackout, out there, and a detective is all about information. Nick deserved to be let loose and go full camp on it all. Instead, we got 2 piddly little piss stains of "mystery" side quests. With someone as clashing as Nick, you really need to either sand down the edges to make him fit, or make the fact he's so weird part of the Thing. Nick is played incredibly straight, and given that that man is clearly lgbtq+, i find that almost a waste. Let this man be deranged. This is why Far Harbor is best Nick. He's holding together in the base game, but i don't want him holding together. I want him to suffer. I want him to monolog like Hamlet before driving a cane into someone's forehead.

Now, as for Piper...

Oh, Piper.

You were doomed.

You were so fucking doomed.

I've written about Piper and her shitty paper multiple times, so if you want a refresher, go to my blog > pinned post > meta section, and find the Piper posts. My peer review of The Synthetic Truth will be your best look into what I think of Piper.

The thing is, if you removed her awfully done journalism aspect, I'd like her base form! When she isn't going on and on about shit that's either wrong, baseless, or presumptuous, she's sassy, she's community-orianted, she's mischievous, she's kinda sardonic. She has a sugar problem. She's a burnt out 20 year old with a parentification issue. There's a lot to like here! The problem is they set up the journalism, fuck it up, and then veer hard-right and crash into the "I'm raising a kid when I'm not even an adult either" thing, where it had no build up or time to unfold naturally.

In my own little world, Piper's journalism fuckups are addressed and have consequences. I don't want her smoothed out and perfect, I want her glaring flaws to be intentional and acknowledged. And that just doesn't happen in text.

Ive also got a ramble on my thoughts on Preston. I've said before I don't like his voice acting most of the time, and I actually got a lot of pushback?? But the people who disagreed didnt...disagree...they just pointed out that John Gentry had a gnarly recording circumstance. I think it was that his first takes weren't supposed to be the final product, because he wasn't really intended to be the VA? Something like that, I forget. Point is, I said John Gentry obviously had a rough time in the booth, and wasn't given a fair shot, and people went "No, his voice acting is good! John Gentry just had a rough time with his line recording and wasn't given a fair shot!"

M-ma'am. Thats...what I said.

If it makes anyone feel better, I don't like the majority of the voice acting in this game...a lot of it is very 'modded skyrim character.' Remember the Skyrim Romance Mod? Thats what most of it sounds like to me. Remember Mrs. Peabody? Holy shit. Do not let anyone involved in that cook ever again. I also have personal beef with Nate. The male VA for the SS...someone, somewhere, made a bunch of choices. It was the wrong one, frequently. (The only good male SS line i can think of is the one romancing Danse. Has some texture to it. It's shy and cute, very good)

As for Preston himself, love him, love my paragon good-guy characters. He's such a sweetheart but he's down for bloodshed. I adore those kinds of characters, those "do no harm, take no shit" types. He's treated as a fluffball by fanon (when not suffering racist ass takes or absolute disregard), but Preston has got some lovely edges to him. If you go through his dialogue page and his approvals, you'll find he can be hard at times. There are moments he approves of 'asshole' choices, which is very fun. I love this dude.

Anyway hot take. IF HE WAS WHITE, ALL OF THESE BITCHES WOULD LIKE HIM. YEAH. I SAID IT. He'd be a depressed white man who's buff and kind and snarky, and you Danse girlies, you Nick girlies, you Deacon girlies, all of them would love him too. He is tailor made for standom but nooo, he isn't #FFFFFF so I guess he's doomed to stupid ass settlement jokes.

Yall lack taste. Hawk puhtoo.

SPEAKING OF AWFUL FUCKING TASTE, LEAVE MY BABY X6-88 ALONE.

X6-88 is so unappreciated. Grotesquely so, by both Bethesda and fans.

X6-88, I've said many times, is a spoiled rich man's cat who sits all poised and hisses if you so much as look at it if you're below a certain tax bracket. He's fussy and egotistical and snippy and dislikes bugs, children, water, heights, and generally anything above ground. He gushes over Danse and thinks he's the coolest. He'll let you kill the Institute if you're Railroad or Minutemen and have high affinity with him. He'll brag about getting to travel with you with his courser buddies. He's a fucking dork.

X6-88 is a nerd/prep who could be goth if left in a Hot Topic to run wild, but until then, he's in a suit for his private school and he's going to sit on HIS bench at recess and snipe at the rival school children with his friends and then he goes home and complains that his english eacher failed him on his Roman history test for writing it in perfect Latin. That is X6-88.

If you don't like X6-88 we cannot be friends. Fuckiung look at him. He's such a little shit. He's perfect.

[galactic-magick]

I Choose You: Kyoya Ootori x Reader

Summary: Your parents and the Ootoris set up an arranged marriage between you and Kyoya for business reasons.

Words: 3100+                                          

Warnings: swearing, angst

Author’s Notes: uhhhh so my hand slipped and I wrote a whole ass Kyoya fic cuz I love that bitch I’m not sorry. (btw normal text is present and italics are flashbacks. Gender neutral pronouns and language for reader!)

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Your reflection in the mirror haunts you. It hurts. You can’t pretend it’s all a nightmare anymore, this is your reality. The reality you didn’t choose.

But maybe you would if the circumstances were different.

Servants, tailors, and seamstresses are fluttering all around you, making adjustments to your wedding ensemble. It looks perfect, more than perfect. It’s everything you ever wanted, and it looks amazing on you. You continue to stare at yourself in the mirror, knowing how proud your parents would be when you walked to the front of the wedding ceremony. They would be happy, even if you weren’t.

Your parents business has been failing for months now, and they needed to fix it fast. The Ootori family agreed to help if you married their youngest son as a symbol of the partnership. Of course your parents wouldn’t threaten you if you didn’t do it, but you knew how much they needed it. You’ve always known there was a chance you’d end up in an arranged marriage anyway, even if you’ve also always dreamed of love. You were willing to give up a love marriage in order to help them, and after all, you could certainly do worse than Kyoya. You knew he’d treat you well and provide for you, and quite frankly you couldn’t imagine him caring enough to hurt you or bother you.

 “Thank you so much again for making this deal with us,” your father nodded.

“Of course. Your company has quite a few valuable prospects,” Mr. Ootori smiles.

You gazed at Kyoya across the room, who’s barely made any eye contact with you the entire time. You could tell he wasn’t thrilled about this either, but there was something else, something more than disinterest. Was it anger? Determination?

“Shall we leave them alone for a bit? They should get to know each other better if they’re going through with this, don’t you think?” your mother suggested, gesturing to you.

“Certainly,” Mr. Ootori sat up and left the room, your parents following soon after and shutting the door.

“So…” you started, trailing off. What was there even to say?

Kyoya shot up from his chair and began pacing around the room, settling for a few moments by the window but soon going right back to pacing. He chewed his pen a bit, occasionally scribbling things down on his notepad.

“Are you okay?” you asked.

He continued to ignore you, deep in thought.

“Look, I get that you don’t like me, but can we at least talk? I’m going to have to live with your ass for the rest of my life you know,”

“It’s not that I don’t like you,” his eyes finally met yours, almost so much it was frightening. “You’re quite attractive actually and I don’t see any reason we wouldn’t get along. But that doesn’t negate the fact that this was forced on us. We have every right to be angry,”

You were stunned that the first thing he said to you was so direct.

“I mean, I guess so,”

“My father doesn’t know how much power I truly have over his company. We could take it from him and make our lives whatever we want. We could continue to work together or we could separate if that’s what you desire. They’ll be sorry for forcing their will on their children,”

“What about my parents?”

“What about them?”

“They’ll go bankrupt without this deal. They’ll lose everything,”

“Their deal is with the company, not my father. Once I become the head I’ll make sure they get what they need,”

Damn, he really had all this planned out.

“How long will we be married before you do all this?”

“It will take at least a year, possibly two. Too quick and we’ll raise suspicion, too slow and we’ll miss our chance,”

You nod. It made sense, but you couldn’t help but feel cheated. He didn’t care about you in the slightest, he was simply using this unfortunate marriage situation for his own gain and revenge. What were you supposed to do for the short time you were married? Sit around his mansion and wait?

You huff, “Look, I’m glad you’re getting some good out of this, but don’t you think we should at least try to be friends? I’m not just going to sit here and be a tool for your masterplan. Whether you like it or not, we’re going to be partners for a while and I’d rather not spend it being bored,”

Kyoya blinked. Clearly he didn’t calculate any sort of relationship into his plan, and the fact you weren’t blindly going along with it confused him.

You roll your eyes, “Can’t we at least go out to dinner a few times? You know, talk a little bit?”

“That sounds dangerously close to a date,”

“So what if it is? You said yourself you think I’m attractive and you think we’d get along,”

“I suppose I did,” he smiled.

 You decide to turn around, hoping not seeing yourself for a few minutes will distract you.

You sincerely hope everything will work out, hope that everything will turn out fine. You trust Kyoya, he’ll do anything he can to keep his word. Your parents will be taken care of. You will be taken care of. His excuse of a father will be out of the picture.

What will you even do when it’s all said and done? Go off on your own? Get more education? Travel? Find love with someone else?

The future’s never been more terrifying.

At least you won’t be miserable. You can tell Kyoya’s made an effort to care about you throughout your engagement, he won’t be an awful husband for the year or so you’ll be married.

But does he really care about you? Or he just acting like it because you asked him to?

 Kyoya picked you up in his limousine for your first “date,” taking you to a fancy restaurant downtown. Surprisingly he was the one to initiate conversations during the whole thing, asking you about your life, your hobbies, your interests. You found you actually have a lot in common, and you end up talking for hours, literally until the restaurant closes and kicks you out.

“I would take you somewhere else, but I’m afraid it’s getting too late,” he said, opening the door of the limo for you to get in.

You frowned. You were actually having a really good time.

“Tomorrow?”

“Hmm?” he raised a brow.

“We could hang out again tomorrow?”

“Sure,”

 You opened your eyes, awoken from some noise outside. You looked around, assuming it was just some branches brushing against the side of the house. You rolled over, trying to get back to sleep.

The banging starts up again, and this time when you sat up you could almost swear you saw a hand through your window.

You stood up, trudging over and opening it.

“Kyoya? What the fuck are you doing?!”

“It’s tomorrow,” he smirked. You gaze at the clock. He’s right, it’s nearly 1 AM.

“I never pegged you for the sneaking out type,”

“Well, I do most of my best thinking at night, so I like to sit on the roof or go for a walk once everyone’s asleep,” he took a look at you in your pajamas. “Would you like to accompany me?”

“Give me a sec,” you shut the curtains and slipped on some clothes and freshened up a bit. You returned and started climbing out the window, Kyoya helping you get down to the ground.

“Where would you like to go?” he asked.

“This was your idea,”

“I suppose so,”

He ended up leading you to a small park his family owned, with a little pond and some benches and trees. You sat down and looked around, listening to the distant sounds of the night.

“I misjudged you, Kyoya,”

“You thought I was an asshole, didn’t you?”

You laughed, “Yeah, just a bit,”

“I certainly can be, I won’t claim otherwise,” he sat down next to you. “But I’m not opposed to expanding my horizons. You offered a valid point. A friendship and partnership may very well be in our best interests,”

“Ugh,” you groaned. “There you go again with your best interests shit,”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re telling me that you’re only trying to be friends with me because it’s in your best interest?”

“Is that…not how friendships work?” he squinted. “I am interested in being friends with you. I am interested in being your partner. Why does that upset you?”

“Because you’re talking about me like my love and respect is something for you to take or gain,”

“I apologize,” he hummed. “I’m afraid I don’t have much experience in the type of relationship you want,”

“You’ve never had a real friend? You’ve never cared about anyone for who they were more than what they could give you?”

“No, I have. Just not many,”

You almost felt…bad for him. He was trying, at least.

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t be so harsh,” you looked at him. “I know we can make this work. We just need to be patient with each other, that’s all,”

“Alright,” he agreed.

You continued your conversation from earlier, and things felt good again. You really do get along well, it’s a shame you weren’t actually in love.

 You check your phone, seeing a text from Kyoya sent just a few minutes ago. You open it, and he’s asking where you are because he wants to talk to you. You tell him no, not today, but he insists.

You stop responding, figuring no matter what you say he’ll come anyway. You didn’t tell him where you were, but a quick questioning of a few servants and someone would tell him.

You don’t particularly want to see him right now, not like this. This is your time to feel bad about yourself and lose your mind worrying about the future, and he’s not going to help that.

You don’t hate him, quite the opposite, but he’s only a reminder of what you have but could never be.

 You and Kyoya have gone on several more outings over the past few months, and it’s getting closer and closer to the wedding. He’s taken you to all his family’s properties, resorts, parks, and more. You’ve gone to almost every restaurant in town (yes, even commoner ones, you both found it entertaining), and you’ve spent many nights walking around the city. You’ve spent days indoors playing board and card games and watching movies. You genuinely enjoyed spending most of your free time with him.

But tonight’s a bit different.

Tonight you won’t be alone, on your own terms. Tonight was the rehearsal dinner, and of course both your families were going overboard. Barely any of it was going to be spent actually rehearsing for the wedding. There’s going to be dancing, food and drinks, and basically a party all night long.

Everyone’s going to be watching you, everyone’s eyes are going to be on you.

You met up with Kyoya after getting ready so you could walk in together. You put on your most formal outfits, besides the ones for the wedding a few days from now.

When he saw you, he averted his gaze immediately as if he’d just caught you naked.

“You look good,” he coughed.

“So do you,” you laughed.

He offered you his arm and you took it, walking down the hallway into the ballroom.

You had to do an awful lot of greeting before doing anything else. Everyone wants to talk to you and congratulate you, even people you swear you’ve never met in your life. There’s a mix of family, friends, and other business partners. Some people were probably there simply because they could be due to their status, and had no interest in the celebration whatsoever.

When you’re finally free of conversation, you raced to the table to grab some refreshments. They prepared the best food possible, including some of your favorites.

Kyoya found you again just as you were finishing, offering his arm to you once again.

“May I have this dance?”

You almost choked, “You dance?”

“Of course I do. So is my fiancé going to refuse me or not?”

You smiled and shook your head, giggling a bit as he drags you to the floor.

No one was doing anything particularly complicated, just waltzes, and thank goodness that was the case. You could barely think straight from everything going on.

Surprisingly Kyoya wasn’t a stiff dancer, his movements were consistent but flowed perfectly with the music. He held you closer than you thought he would, but gently.

You felt your body heat up and chills in your stomach and down your spine. How are those two things even possible to happen at the same time?

Well, shit. You weren’t actually falling for him were you?

You thought these past few months would be tedious, but they’ve actually been some of the best of your life. Kyoya’s become your best friend, and gosh you want to spend the rest of your life with him. You understand each other. You both want to break away from your controlling families and finally find your own happiness. You can spend hours talking about everything and nothing. You can make each other laugh like no one else ever has.

Maybe this arranged marriage could become a love marriage. Just maybe.

But no. Kyoya made his intentions very clear. You doubt he’s developed the same feelings for you. He may see you as a valued friend, but he’ll fell nothing when you inevitably break off your relationship in a couple years.

Kyoya must’ve noticed you zoning out in thought, because he stops dancing and brings his hands to your shoulders.

“Are you alright? Do you need some air?”

You nodded, and he leads you out onto the balcony outside the ballroom, keeping a hand on your back.

You take a deep breath, desperately trying to compose yourself after your realization. Should you tell him? No, absolutely not. Bad idea.

Why did this have to happen? Now you were even more miserable. Were you really so weak that you had to catch feelings?

“It’s going to be fine, you know,” he assured you. “I know it seems overwhelming, but by the end of the week we’ll be on our own and they can’t constantly be on our backs anymore,”

“Yeah,” you sighed, your breath stopping in your throat. “Do you think anyone will notice if I leave? I’m exhausted,”

“They probably will, unfortunately,” he looked out at the view. “But we can stay out here until they notice,”

“Thanks,” you grumbled. Your head was throbbing.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You managed to survive the rest of the night, barely.

You tried to get some rest, you have a fitting tomorrow, and then all you have to do is wait for the big day.

 You’ve been standing here for at least an hour, and you’re starting to get irritated. How long does it take to fit something? It looks fine.

You turn around again and stop breathing for a moment when you see Kyoya in the doorway. His hair is ruffled and he looks like he didn’t sleep at all, but there’s a smile on his face.

“I’d like to speak to my fiancé please,” he says.

You look away.

“Absolutely not! Don’t you know you’re not supposed to see each other’s outfits before the big day?” one of the tailors pipes up.

“Well, seeing as I already saw it, I don’t think it matters,” he motions for them to leave. “You’re dismissed,”

He waits until they’re gone before he approaches you, but by that time you’ve fallen down and started crying. You’re shaking on the edge of the platform you were standing on, your hands covering your face.

“You’ve been avoiding me all morning. What’s wrong?” he asks.

“This isn’t how it’s supposed to be,” you sniffle. “For everyone else this is the best time of their life. But it’s not for me,”

Kyoya crouches down in front of you.

He doesn’t cut in, so you keep going, “Look at me. I look great, I look just like how I wanted to as a kid, but it’s all wrong. Everything’s wrong. I thought I was okay with this, but I’m not. I hate this. I don’t hate you, but I hate this,”

You keep sobbing, trying to pretend he’s not there watching you. It’s not too hard actually, since you can barely see through the tears.

“Well, I suppose this might be the worst time to tell you what I was planning to tell you,” he tries not to laugh as not to be insensitive, but it comes out anyway.

“W-What?” you rub your eyes, seeing him a little clearer.

“I know this won’t fix anything, but I want you to know I do genuinely care about you. It was never part of the original agreement or plan, but I’ve come to feel more for you than I’ve felt for anyone. I just…I want you to know that. You’re not a tool to me anymore,” he takes a deep breath, “I love you,”

You stop crying for a moment, too shocked for the tears to keep flowing. Did he really just say that?

“I understand that you probably don’t feel the same, which is alright. I will still honor our original plan, get you everything you wanted, and allow you to leave whenever you please. But if you’ll have me as your husband, a real husband, you’re welcome to stay,”

The sobs break out again, barely able to get out the words, “I love you too,”

“You do? Really?” his eyes light up.

You nod vigorously, beaming through the tears, “Yes,”

“But you just said you hated this? That you were miserable?”

“Only because I thought you didn’t feel the same,”

“Oh,” he chuckles. “Well then,” he takes your hand and places his other on your cheek, looking into your eyes. “Will you marry me? Please?”

You laugh, “I guess,”

He smiles and pulls your face to his, kissing you softly. You take the initiative to deepen it, slithering your fingers into his tousled hair. He’s the last to pull away, and immediately pulls you back for more, even when you can barely breathe.

You can feel him smiling against your lips, his thumbs wiping all your tears away.

You thought you’d never know what it was like to be truly loved.

But now you do.

-

-

-

More Author’s Notes: This is my first time writing for OHSHC lol. Might dabble in it more in the future cuz I had a blast writing this XD Hope you enjoyed and feel free to tell me what you think!

[albatris]

ok ok alriiiight ok so the plot of ATDAO

this post is not, like........... well, it’s not gonna be a blurb or a summary or a nice neat synopsis, this is not Professional Writeblr Business, this is, this is, uhhhh

this is like drunk house party logan rambles

works best if you imagine ur just like “hey man how’s it going” super casual and I grasp you firmly by the shoulders and look you dead in the eye and just ramble all of this without taking a single breath

could I have explained in a nice neat concise "elevator pitch" sort of way? probably. mind ur business. that’s not how we do things here at albatris.org

anyway the purpose of this post is “hey people seem to know a lot about the characters and the worldbuilding and the premise but have no clue what happens in the actual story” so I’m not going to be talking about said characters and worldbuilding and premise in depth

in terms of rambles, that stuff’s been covered! this post assumes you know what Ports are, n what the nature of the ATDAO apocalypse is, vaguely what the MCs are like as people......... though I can fetch this info for you if you like

but yeah if you are coming into this post with zero prior ATDAO knowledge........... deeply deeply from the bottom of my heart: sorry

also if this is your first time experiencing One Of These Rambles

also @safe-in-the-steep-cliffs​ and @siarven​ I am tagging you because you said you would like to be tagged and also hi and also I hope y’all knew what you were in for

anyway without further ado

(visual representation of my approach to this rant, not of how complicated my plot actually is)

(my plot is not that complicated)

ALRIGHT

there are two viewpoint characters! and two plotlines which converge near the end of the story, but honestly there’s a very real possibility I will decide these are two separate books meant as companion stories to each other because I love making things difficult for myself yeehaw

ATDAO’s co-protags are Tris and Noa, best buds four years and counting. their friendship is one of the single most important aspects of the story, n the ongoing love and trust they have for each other despite the way unfolding events force their relationship to change is integral to the themes and making the heart of the story what it is. I will now proceed to not mention this friendship for the entire remainder of this post. they’re bros. that’s all u need to know. listen. listen. I have a lot to cover

so yeah, ur first key player is Tris Greer, whose parents are dicks but whose siblings are chill. most notably of said siblings there is Jacob, older brother by thirteen years, whom Tris believes is just about the coolest person on the entire planet. this plotline kicks off when Jacob gets caught in the midst of a freak car accident that kills a dude and wrecks a street corner and also somehow causes Jacob to just kind of................. blip out of existence entirely and without a trace?

n Tris is understandably horrified and distressed by Very Much All Of This, but hey, at least there are responsible adults who can look into this obviously Port-related weird disappearance and figure this mess out, right?

INCORRECT

the relevant interdimensional authorities are brought in to suss out the situation and these authorities are kind of like “hmmmm idk about this” but are all set to take Tris at least somewhat seriously until they learn the following:

that Jacob had already been reported missing to police in his home state three days earlier

that Jacob was in the midst of several ongoing personal crises and at least one nervous breakdown

that Jacob was allegedly tangled up in some real weird shit that would more than account for a disappearance under suspicious circumstances

that Tris is schizophrenic, prone to hallucinations, confusion, memory issues and quote unquote “letting his imagination and anxiety get the better of him”, and precisely zero people can actually corroborate his story that Jacob was even there are the time of the accident to begin with

and after some back-and-forth and Looking Into The Evidence pretty much everyone in any position of authority comes to the conclusion that this is just Ordinary Regular People Crimes and whatever happened to Jacob had nothing to do with weird apocalyptic energies, and that Tris is (at best) stressed out and delusional or (at worst) lying through his teeth because he knows more than he’s letting on

so Tris is forced to hop pretty quick from “I’m sure someone will handle this” to “no one believes me but I’m sure if I can find some concrete proof they’ll listen and someone will handle it” to Well Fuck I Guess That Someone Is Me

cue bizarre reality-hopping fantasy quest, which is ten times easier said than done when most of the time Tris is terrified enough just, like, going to the supermarket

he enlists the help of his new classmate Shara, amateur paranormal investigator and professional weird-bullshit enthusiast, who agrees to help him puzzle out what the fuck happened to Jacob in exchange for his assistance in mapping out Adelaide’s interdimensional “fault lines” as part of her ongoing quest to track down the source of the apocalypse

she’s got big fuckin dreams, ok, go hard or go home

slso worth noting at this point that there HAS been an uptick in Ports and their related reality-bending strangeness in Adelaide recently which is why this is of particular interest to her currently. gotta find out What Makes The Weirdness Tick, gotta find out Why The Sudden Extra Weirdness

..........and also Kai is there

Kai has no nice neat reason to get involved with the plot, Kai just likes drama and being all up in people’s personal business. Tris brings them on board for one single afternoon like “hey I will pay you some money to come to my house and fix my fucked up phone so I can listen to an interdimensional voicemail” but forgot the apparently key addendum “and then leave”

their first three chapters of knowing each other is basically Tris being like “stop inviting yourself into my house we are not friends” and Kai being like “that’s a rude thing to say to your friend. also your sister gave me the netflix password and I used your kitchen to bake pastries feel free to help yourself”

but yeah so Tris’s story mostly focuses on his quest to figure out where Jacob got yeeted to and how to get him safely home (y’all probably know a bit about The Unreality already maybe?), whilst also dealing with rising family tensions, whatever shifty stuff Jacob was involved with prior to his disappearance, and his own creeping doubts about his perceptions of reality

n I’m also saying flat out it’s not a plot that’s going the “oh the whole thing was just a delusion all along” route because ew

his psychosis is a fairly involved part of his character but the explorations around it are more to do with, like......... the difficulties he has in trusting himself and whether he has the luxury of letting himself get swept into some Big Weird Implausible Adventure when this has extremely different implications for him than it would someone else. n eventually to how his success and survival is not ~in spite of~ but specifically because of the different way he understands and interprets the world and the skills he’s developed

THAT TANGENT WAS A PERSONAL RANT IT WAS NOT RELEVANT I just have words to say on the subject of how psychosis is treated in fiction and didn’t want people jumping to the “none of it is real” conclusion anyway ok moving on

ur SECOND key player is Noa Yun, who has rather a lot on her plate right now. she’s broke as fuck and her mum is sick and her car is making Noises and she’s not getting enough hours at her job at Not-IKEA and everyone is on her back about her failing studies as if that’s a thing she has the energy to care about. feeling rather backed into a corner by life’s bullshit and her financial situation, she blatantly lies her way into a field job at the Department of Interdimensional Instabilities, because A) surely it can’t be THAT bad, and B) what does she have to lose?

so more or less what she’s doing is the equivalent of emergency services for Port-related weirdness, it’s going out and dealing with highly unstable otherworldly energies head on, navigating Weird Phenomena and bendy patches in reality......... it is, among other things, a job that’s relatively easy to get into because no one wants to touch it with a ten foot pole unless they absolutely have to

n the DII is a whole other post, this shit has lots of different functions and levels and branches and corruption and secrets and a tendency to view workers who have to go out and deal with the brunt of the apocalypse head-on as vaguely expendable and I’ve talked about it a bit before and in more Serious Words

things kinda kick off for her when in true Noa fashion she hurls herself into a dangerous situation to help out a coworker, n enters a pretty standard issue “overlap” where the barriers between universes are a little fucky, but hey, she seems to come out of it with nary a scratch, so it’s reasonable to assume everything is fine, right?

INCORRECT AGAIN

she basically gets some whacked-out otherworldly energies latched onto her that are now following her through her everyday life, and it turns out she’s starting to bend the reality around her the way certain types of Ports do, which is! obviously not ideal! she’s not exactly a Port herself, because she’s pretty sure that’s impossible, but it’s clear capital s Something happened to her in that overlap, and she doubts it’s good news. and to make matters even more disconcerting, she’s now being dogged at every step by strange visions of a child who speaks in an unfamiliar language and who seems Real Fuckin Pissed at her

so her thing is basically “I acquired fucked up reality-bending powers against my will and they might be lowkey killing me ‘cause Ports are notoriously unstable like that and also I’m haunted for some godforsaken reason” which all somehow ended up being, like, the least interesting part of her plotline for me lmao

oh and Noa also enlists the help of Shara, Because Ghosts

anyway yeah so her search to find out what’s happening to her re: Weird Children, being a Port-adjacent something-or-other, and whether there’s a way to stop her own unravelling leads her to (rogue computer programmer? mad scientist? general shifty bastard?) Laurence Marrick Thiele, who claims to have suffered a similar affliction in the past and now does some real interesting research on the subject. n this guy. well. he’s got some fuckin stuff going on

he definitely knows more about the nature of Ports than he should. also is he actually researching what he says he’s researching? also what’s with all the weird tech? also did he just straight up murder that guy Avery? all will be revealed later, maybe, if I feel like it

but yeah at about the same time as Noa goes “actually fuck this you’re shady as hell I’m out” she stumbles into, like, The Actual Reality of what Marrick is up to re: manipulating Ports and interdimensional doorways for his own gain, and the various ways this spells bad news not only for her but potentially for the entire city and anyone unfortunate enough to get caught in the crossfire, and she shifts gear to “actually you know what I’m gonna kick your ass”

there are various reasons for this, but first and foremosterly you have to understand that Noa’s got a fuckload of pent-up rage and she will bring it in full force the moment you say some stupid shit like “some people are expendable” or “it’s inevitable for the greater good”

(there’s also a fun ongoing subplot with her work at the DII where she and her team are investigating a string of strange illnesses with bizarre symptoms that appear to be spreading via obscure radio stations so that’s. happening. I guess?)

but yeah the main story here mostly follows Noa’s attempts to undermine Marrick, bastard supreme, and find a way to fuck him up before he goes, like, Full Cartoon Supervillain, n also like........... her attempts to keep up her work at the DII despite her rising paranoia that the teammates she’s growing to care about will notice her increasingly unstable state and the fact that she’s all tangled up with the very forces they’re meant to be thwarting. n along the way discovering the reality of what happened to her in The Aforementioned Overlap Incident and about her visions and such

so that’s all that. did that make sense

n she’s got a whole arc going on about trust and learning to lean on others, like, she comes into this story as a very standoffish person with lots of paranoia, she’s spent much of her life feeling like she can only rely on herself, n she’s. well. yeah, like I said, she’s got a lot of anger at the world and at the various systems that have failed her and her loved ones, n the story puts her in a position to become even more isolated

and her plotline isn’t so much “you have no reason to be angry or afraid” or her learning to Not Be, It’s more, like........... yeah you have every fucking right to be furious and of course you’re afraid! but there are people around you who love you and who will jump at the chance to defend you and who will help you carry the weight of your anger and grief and none of this needs to be yours to bear alone which is extremely cheesy

which applies to both her Weird Supernatural Goings-On as well as her regular ordinary life goings-on

I feel like Alice and Jet deserve a mention for Noa’s plotline but also this went on and on too long already so. well. Alice and Jet exist! yep. they work with Noa at the DII. I have things to say about them. I will not be saying them today

and uhhhhhh

in general, for Tris, his plotline, you wanna think, like, fantasy/adventure vibes which veer pretty sharply into horror, and for Noa you wanna think...... kinda, sci-fi mystery conspiracy vibes with a dash of some superhero bullshit maybe except not really

and that

pretty much is it I think

also the fact that Kai just invites themself into the plot for funsies and then is dragged kicking and screaming into caring about themself and making positive changes in their life means there was no convenient place in this post to be like

"oh there's also a whole major subplot about a time loop"

but there's also a whole major subplot about a time loop

goodnight! thanks for coming to....................... whatever this was! have a nice saturday everyone

[marnie1964]

Karate Kid/Cobra Kai survey

i'm gonna consider myself tagged

It’s the year 2021 and you’re obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?: an unexpected turn of events but it's passing the quarantine, i guess!

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?:  to be completely honest, i don't really like the movies? i didn't vibe with them as a kid and when i went back and tried to watch them this year i couldn't make it all the way through.* i think they're well crafted movies, but i've never liked relatable young boy wish fulfillment (i couldn't even get thru harry potter as a kid), and i think the first one is guilty of burying the lede twice over with regards to mr. miyagi and later the relationship between kreese and johnny. and lucky me--these are exactly the areas that cobra kai delivers on.

*except for the third one, which imo is a camp masterpiece and also genuinely heartbreaking. it's the only one that allows daniel to be an genuine pain in the ass. i think i've finally figured out what the target audience for cobra kai is: people who's favorite karate kid movie was tkk3 (me).

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character: johnny! what is a man but a miserable pile of bruce springsteen lyrics? or aimee mann lyrics? or mountain goats lyrics? or otis redding lyrics? or--fuck, have americans ever written songs about anyone else? i have an unreal amount of good will towards this man and his late-life struggle for recuperation. he's the heart of the show both in terms of his relationships with other characters and in terms of zabka's chemistry with the other actors.

my deep dark double secret fave is kreese. he makes me feel real anger in a way that's usually reserved for characters in vince gilligan shows. i'm a bit obsessed with him and his preoccupation with johnny and later johnny's teenaged son (I Have Thoughts). the show does a great job of making what he did to johnny--and all the years and years and years of fallout from that--feel really real, which makes him one of the most viscerally despicable villains i've ever come across . it's unironically among the best portrayals of domestic abuse i've seen, may god have mercy on our souls. the decision to pop out from behind a fucking cardboard cutout of himself to scare daniel in tkk3 was also a hilarious galaxy brain move. aspirational stuff.

also--shout out to daniel-san. the writers really had to work their asses off to make him into a character that appeals to me, and i think they did a great job of it. he's a cringey tool who's capable of displaying a surprising amount of integrity under the right circumstances! he's tom wambsgans! he's pete campbell! he's wonderful i love him!

Favorite ship:  johnny & daniel (what if mysterious skin was a sports comedy??)

Underrated character: the True and Correct answer to this question can only be aisha, although i don't think she was actually underrated by anyone besides the writers. chozen is also lowkey my favorite katate child because c'mon, he had everything (spear fights! ziplines! teen death matches! formfitting disco-era polyester button down shirts worn with gold chains!)

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):  uhhhh... the only teen couple that could have been interesting is tory/aisha. they were cute together and their friendship rang true to me. it's that thing where you're the new girl and you're conventionally attractive, but on the inside you know you're a freak so you immediately gravitate towards the most obvious female outsider. i lived it, bay-bey!

i also think there are interesting things to explore with carmen and johnny's relationship. i don't know if the writers are even aware of it (i lean towards no b/c men amirite) but the entire premise of carmen's character is that she chose to live in poverty to protect herself and her son from a bad man with power. she's thereby the exact opposite of johnny's mother, who (at least by his understanding) married hollywood film producer shmarvey shmeinstein to provide her son with a better life. so, there's a lot to unpack in his attraction to her. also they're super hot hur hur i like sexy nurse thing hur hur.

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?: i can't look directly at it, but sweep the leg. zabka what the fuck man.

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?:  i don't think i've seen anyone mention this one yet, but the football jersey with the sweatpants. it makes him look so small and huggable, i wanna pick him up and set him on my shelf or something.

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver: bring back ali's lesbian girl gang!!! or else--dutch. he was funny and iconic, i loved his exaggerated offended reaction to everything daniel said or did in tkk. also, i'm tacky so i'm a sucker for aggressively bleach blonde hair. the SCANDALIZED wasp couple standing behind ali and johnny in the spaghetti scene will also do. or terry's secretary (an mvp--i believe the original actress has passed away so in my heart of hearts she's portrayed by j. smith-cameron).

Scene that lives in your head rent-free: the whole character development speed run that johnny does from sweep the leg to crying while handing daniel the trophy to getting strangled in the parking lot by his beloved teacher. i'm especially transfixed by that last bit--what's the thought process of a man who decides to publicly execute his teenage student via strangulation? why did none of the many bystanders call the police? johnny is the real kitty genovese, prison for everyone.

from the cobra kai series proper: daniel's decision to greet johnny with a big hug after not seeing him for 35 years and never actually being friends with him (I Have Thoughts), the heinously creepy scene where johnny is repeating the cobra kai mantra for miguel and his entire disposition completely changes (demonic possession shit), and johnny's tiny go-ahead-and-kill-my-abuser nod (his face is so stoney after being so animated at dinner) coupled with daniel's shaky little sign of relief (macchio is really the cutest when he looks scared).

it goes without saying that every johnny & miguel scene lives rent free in my HEART.

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?: anthony becomes relevant for one (1) episode next season when amanda and daniel finally get around to putting him up for adoption.

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war.  Which dojo do you join?:  i enter the cobra kai dojo decked out in all of my snake-themed clothing and jewelry (it's a lot). i approach kreese and explain to him that the open mouth of a snake, viewed head-on, is a yonic symbol. i am permanently banned from the cobra kai dojo.

(seriously though, assuming i'm a teen in this scenario i think i would have vibed with tory/miguel/aisha. dimitri and sam would have driven high school me up the fucking wall though. the cobra kai style looks like more fun/better exercise. do i also genuinely believe most young girls could actually benefit from someone yelling no mercy down their neck? maybe so 💖)

What’s your training montage song?:  50ft queenie - pj harvey (it takes place in the alison bechdel feminist karate dojo ofc)

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?: it's a full episode flashback to the time johnny got arrested in albuquerque, new mexico. johnny's court-appointed attorney is a weirdly hot babe who seems like a super straight laced killjoy at first, but soon reveals herself to be an unhinged woman. one thing leads to another, and johnny winds up in bed with her and her loser husband. there are lots of great themes about punitive justice, people's ability to change for the better (and worse), and what makes someone "good" or "bad" to begin with, but mostly it's just really hot sex. the husband tries to sell johnny a prepaid cellphone and johnny tell's him that cellphones are never gonna catch on, cause who want's to be bothered by people all the time like that?

better call saul. it's a better call saul crossover ep.

(fwiw think that greg 'hbo succession' hirsch should also be terry's cousin greg on the non-roy side. think about it--the roys are small people, but cousin greg is really tall?? and who else is really tall, and a blue eyed brunette to boot? terry silver. it all adds up! this never becomes relevant to the plot, in any case, i'm just considering it canon until the writers come to my house and explicitly tell me i'm wrong.)

Tagging: anyone who's interested 😘

[suf-lives-rent-free]

Fragments

Everything below is just my opinion; I am in no way trying to say that how I feel about this is the one correct take or whatever.

I know a lot of people like this episode and what happens in it, but I don’t.  I totally understand that some people just don’t want to see any negativity, period, but negativity is not inherently bad or wrong.

Negative opinions, even about something you enjoy, can be valid too - regardless of whether you happen to agree with them or not.

Also I get very salty near the end of this, and that might be entertaining to people who stan this episode?

I am aware that a lot of people – the majority, I’m pretty sure – think that the episode is a masterpiece. And on some level, I see where they’re coming from with that assessment.

The episode is boarded beautifully, the backgrounds – especially during the training montage – are stunning as always.  The music is fantastic, and the performances are great too.  In these respects, Fragments is a stand-out episode; I agree.

(Like look at this.  Gorgeous.)

However, something that’s bothered me since I saw the episode is the writers’ decision to write it into the story that Steven shatters Jasper.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: I just don’t get it.  I’m purposefully misinterpreting the story to say it’s bad.  Steven brings her back to life; and it’s not like he meant to do it in the first place.  I just don’t have the capacity to understand the sublime nature of the show’s storytelling.  I’m an SU crit and all I want to do is make the real fans feel about themselves for liking it.

Uhhhh... no.  Nah.  That ain’t it chief.

It’s true; I am not a writer.  I’m just a passive consumer of media.  However, I do not agree with the viewpoint that in order to properly understand or critique a thing you need to have the expertise and/or experience in order to make something similar.

For example, if I were to put something I drew when I was 10 years old next to something I drew yesterday, it shouldn’t take a person who has had an education in fine art to tell you that the latter drawing is better-looking than the former.

That’s how I approach media consumption and criticism; when I criticise a writing decision, I am doing so as a consumer.  I’m not saying I could write it better, or even that my opinion is objectively correct and the writer is wrong or bad.  I’m just saying that I didn’t like a thing.  Which, I would hope, is allowed?

Okay, defensive hedging over, back to the point; I don’t like that they had Steven shatter Jasper.

[I get markedly saltier from this point on, fyi]

Full admission of bias here: one of the things I really cherish about the original show is how they wrote Steven’s character; he’s a boy with interests that don’t rigidly conform to gender stereotypes.  He likes ‘boyish’ things and ‘girly’ things, and that’s okay; thats just him.  In cartoons when I was growing up, characters like Steven would be the butt of jokes about being ‘girly’ or thinly-veiled homophobia.  I find him very relatable, and I want to acknowledge that yes, that is probably a significant part of why I have such an issue with this episode’s twist.

I am not trying to say that he’s a perfect baby angel or whatever; Steven regularly gets frustrated and angry. He does some pretty manipulative and dickish things to people around him (stop trying to make Larsadie happen, Steven. It’s not going to happen).  He is a flawed character who fucks up sometimes. And he’s not 100% peaceful either; he acts violently when he defends himself against corrupted Gems and Homeworld Gems (and Crystal Gems on occasion *cough*Bismuth*cough*).  

However, he has a pacifistic temperament; whenever it’s possible, he prefers that problems be solved without needless violence or hurt.  And I like that; in most media, it’s rare to have a male protagonist who wants to solve their problems without jumping straight to punching things.

When he accidentally frees Centipeedle, he convinces the Gems to step off and allow him to try and rehabilitate her peacefully; he even notices that the Gems’ weapons are a trigger for her, and make them put them away.  He frees Lapis against the Gems’ wishes because he recognizes that keeping her prisoner is wrong, and when she steals the ocean, he talks it out and heals her so she can leave Earth peacefully.

He tries to aid Jasper when she starts corrupting, fixes Eyeball’s gemstone when she’s cracked and tries talking Bismuth down when she attacks him with the breaking point.  In all of these situations, his words and help are ignored or rejected; he’s forced to resort to violence.  And it traumatises him.  

We get an entire episode dedicated to the fact that he’s been struggling with processing these awful things that happened.

Even in Future, Steven shows hesitation about engaging in unncecessary violence; he gives into Jasper’s goading for a fight after what’s implied to be dozens of failed tries at making her come to Little Homeschool, and he spends an entire episode trying to keep Lapis from squashing the two rogue Lapis Lazulis. 

The only time he hops into a fight willingly is after Eyeball and Aquamarine hold Greg hostage, and even then they pose a clear threat to his and Greg’s safety and have made it clear that they want to hurt him emotionally and physically.  Even at that, he stops and switches tactics to talking them down as soon as they lose their focus and start bickering with each other.

(I mean, he fails.  But it’s the thought that counts.)

I personally find it really jarring that the writers found it appropriate to write it into the series that this same character – over the course of three (3) days – goes from disliking mindless violence for mindless violence’s sake to happily engaging in the destruction of plants and animals* and has done a total 180 on his willingness to spar with Jasper, to the point that he instigates their rematch.

*(You best believe plenty of small mammals and birds – y’know, like the nest Steven saved in the first episode – died as he and Jasper felled tree after tree, not to mention all of those displaced by the destruction of their habitats, and the potential loss of food sources from some of those trees.)

You’re telling me that it’s a reasonable character beat for this boy to gleefully laugh like an anime supervillain at his sudden new-found joy in fighting, then pin Jasper in place, taunt her for helping him get so strong, and hit her so hard that she breaks into pieces and dies?

You’re telling me that that’s an in-character thing for Steven Quartz Diamond Cutie-Pie DeMayo Universe do to another character?

(And yes I am purposefully dancing around talking about the mental health stuff because if I did that I’d have to go on a whole other tangent about Growing Pains and fuck I just don’t feel like it right now lmao)

Going back to Mindful Education, another big thing we see Steven struggle with is the idea that his mother shattered Pink Diamond.  This knowledge sits heavily with him; it makes him sympathetic to the Diamonds, even under the circumstances in which he sees them (escaping from the Human Zoo, and being on trial for said murder). 

He sees their grief, and he feels awful.  He questions who Rose Quartz even was.  He knows, based on what Garnet said, that Rose had to do it; there was no other way to free Earth.  But he still feels awful seeing the pain that Pink’s loss has caused Blue and Yellow Diamond.

In Steven Universe, shattering is clearly equated with execution/death multiple times.  When Pearl and Garnet fret over the crack in Amethyst’s gemstone worsening.  When Blue Diamond threatens to break Ruby.  When Bismuth introduces the breaking point, and Steven recoils at the sight of what it does.  If you want to take the fact that Gem shards are sentient and desperate to become whole again into account, you could even argue that it’s a fate worse than death. This particular act of violence is treated very, very seriously.

When we find out that Rose shattered Pink Diamond, there is a season and a half long arc unpacking the implications and consequences of this one action, and how this knowledge forever alters Steven’s mental image of his mother.  And she didn’t even kill anyone.  It was a lie!

In Steven Universe Future, Steven shatters Jasper 4 episodes before the end of the series.  And it’s only brought up twice; once for a big *gasp* moment during his breakdown in Everything’s Fine, and in I Am My Monster by Pearl, when she has to fill-in Bismuth, Lapis and Peridot.  Notably, it is never discussed around or by Jasper.  Y’know.  The person who actually died.

No indication of how (or even if) what Steven did is affecting his own self-image after his initial breakdown, how Jasper feels about what she went through beyond falling back into the Era 1 and 2 mindset.  No inkling of how the knowledge that Steven killed somebody has affected how anyone in his life thinks or feels about him; when Pearl brings it up in I Am My Monster, she seems to not even really believe it’s true.

If there are any consequences or talks about this incident, they’re skipped over between I Am My Monster and The Future, and we’re expected to assume that Steven and his therapist are dealing with it, I guess?

And yes.  It was an accident.  He did bring her back to life.  But it still happened.  If you hit someone over the head and they stop breathing, just because the paramedics are able to resusitate and stabilize them afterwards doesn’t mean you never hit them.

But here, it’s shoved aside because dwelling on it would take far too much time, and risks framing Steven in an unsympathetic way when he’s meant to be on the cusp of a breakdown.

It just feels like careless writing to me.  They really, really wanted their big action scene with Steven and Jasper, but didn’t think (or maybe weren’t interested in thinking) about the seriousness or consequences of what Steven shattering someone would entail.

In my opinion, Steven shattering Jasper is one of the cheapest, laziest things they could have ever done with his character (and hers, for that matter).  To me, the entire thing feels entirely out of character.  It’s pure shock value; nothing more.

So yeah.  That particular writing decision just does not work for me.  And if you disagree... well that’s fine?  It’s fine.  We can agree to disagree?  I’ve read a lot of defense/praise for this episode, and honestly even after processing all of those opinions and all the time my thoughts about this plotline have been stewing in my brain, I still feel the same way.

[my-arlington-academia]

Hi! I love the way you write! I was wondering if you could make a headcanons of the 10 Sweet Elite characters, on jealousy! But not towards a boy / girl but towards a tender kitten who is our great love, an affectionate cat and who will always find the way to receive all the attention, but not by making spite, but in a more subtle way, with purr, meows and ball eyes! Of course, only us and the others are not even considered XD A kiss!

Awww thank you so much!! 💘💘 It means a lot to me that people like what I write even though it's just silly stuff. Anyway... making the main 10 jealous of a cat? 😂 Alright! I guess I can do that much 👌 (Sorry if this isn't exactly what you had in mind but I made the cat a stray in the hcs.)

Alistair

- honestly he is a dog person but he's not the type to argue which are cuter: dogs or cats?

- but when you met that kitten in the street and your voice suddenly shifted to "baby talk" mode?

- at first he doesn't think much of it but later on, for some reason he starts feeling a bit irritated

- wants to show you his puppies from back home but he knows just how childish his reasoning is

- ends up not only feeling jealous but also pathetic

- starts talking to himself

- "Come on Alistair, why are you feeling jealous of a CAT of all things?? That's so stupid..."

- You notice him figeting on the side looking like a sad doggo

- out of pure impulse, you run your fingers through his hair

- he doesn't really get what's happening but he's happy that your attention shifted back to him

- if he really was a dog, his tail would be wagging right now

- "Y/N? W-what are you doing? Not that I don't like it! But uh..."

- "Sorry, you just looked really cute for a sec haha... Well, I mean you always do but um."

- the both of you get embarrassed and move on from this silly situation

Axel

- a dog person as well but he didn't expect to feel so frustrated over... a cat

- in a matter of seconds, he felt like he had disappeared and he didn't like that

- for once that the both of you were alone he didn't want anyone to get in their way

- feels like he's being an idiot

- you continue petting the cat and when you scratch him under its neck, the little kitten starts purring

- suddenly Axel bends over and points to the space under his chin

- "Scratch me here."

- you're so taken aback by what he said that you actually do it... and he starts purring too??

- it sounds pretty identical to how cats purr

- "See? I can do it just as well as this little guy over there..."

- Axel looks down in shame knowing just how ridiculous he must sound right now

- you kiss him on the cheek to cheer him up

- "Come on, you know that you're my favorite!... and honestly, that purring was surprisingly good."

- "Uh-huh, I should try voice acting for cats or something."

Claire

- starts off gushing over the kitten with you

- but quickly realizes that she became almost invisible to you

- all your affection is now aimed at the cute kitty which makes Claire feel a bit abandoned

- she feels horrible for being envious of a cat, especially since she's also the type of person who loses herself in front of cute animals

- "No sad thoughts allowed! Stop thinking about ridiculous things Claire..."

- tries to cheer herself up

- somehow gathers the courage to snuggle her head against your shoulder

- you ask her what she's doing

- "Oh uh! Y-you know... I'm just imitating the kitten! Isn't it just so adorable when they press their little heads against your legs when they pass by?! S-so cute, right? Haha..."

- has realized how stupid she was being and is sad all over again until you do the same thing as her

- her cheeks heat up and she's super embarrassed

- "I-it would be nice if we were allowed to have pets in the dorms, we could've taken the cat with us..."

- "Adopt it? So we can play parents? What should we name it..."

- "W-wait! We can't actually take it with us! Lady A will be so mad..."

Ellie

- is thrilled to find a cute cat in the street!... until you start playing with it that is

- becomes silent and watches how you're smiling like a dumb-dumb

- finds you cuter than the cat and is a bit sad that she has become a second thought to you

- in an attempt to catch your attention (or more precisely get it back) she bends over and tries to imitate the cat's meowing

- at the same time, she moves her arms as if she has paws instead of human hands

- you try to ask her what she's doing but she only answers in meows

- "Meow meow meow 😥😤 Meoowwww 😖"

- you give up and start talking in "cat language" as well

- "Uhhhh... Meow?"

- at the end of it all the both of you laugh about it and make a plan to somehow find a home for the kitty

Karolina

- tries really hard to act like she doesn't give a damn

- but she's extremely annoyed

- "Oh so a cat is more important than spending time with me, huh?"

- is petty af

- keeps on sighing loudly and has had her arms crossed for a solid minute now

- sees that you're not even noticing how annoyed she is

- starts walking away and makes sure to make each one of her steps really loud so you can hear her

- when you try to stop her she's all like "Oh no it's fine. You can go on ahead and have a cup of tea with this... cat, and while you're at it kiss it under the moonlight why don't you?"

- is red of both anger and embarrassement because she knows just how childish she sounds and she hates it

- like a kid throwing a tantrum

- in the end you convince her to pet the cat as well and she gets charmed quite quickly and forgives you

- even gives it a name and refuses to give the cat to anybody else

Neha

- stares at you with a neutral expression ...or so it seems

- that is the face of BETRAYAL

- she's thinking "Seriously? You're ditching me for a cat?"

- starts asking you questions to see if she can distract you

- "So... you like cats too? I had the impression that you were more of a dog person but I guess I was wrong..."

- tries really hard not to sound passive-agressive

- fails at it.

- "Neha um. Are you like... jealous? Haha! No way, right? Sorry it was a dumb ques-"

- when you see the blush on her face you immediately understand what's going on

- you let go of the kitten and hug her

- "Want me to scratch your head too? Haha..."

- "Oh shut up! Don't make me feel more ridiculous than I already am..."

Raquel

- is super thrilled at first

- "Let's adopt it! I'm sure we can hide it in your room since you don't have a roommate."

- quickly changes her mind on the way back when she sees all the attention you're giving to the kitten

- knows exactly why she feels that way so she tries her best to play it cool, knowing how idiotic it is to be envious of a cat

- "So uh. Y'know, I know I'm the one who said that we should take it with us but now thinking about it, it's honestly kinda dangerous, isn't? I mean I don't want you to get in trouble because of me and all..."

- is rambling and rambling, telling you all the reasons why maybe it is actually a bad idea to "adopt" the cat

- you take the hint pretty easily and agree with her

- but in the end you guys manage to shelter the kitty in your room during a week before finding someone in town who'll take care of it

Tadashi

- loves cats but plays dumb when you first find the kitten in the street

- "Cats? Uh. Yeah. They're cute I guess..."

- really wants to pet the cat after he sees you doing it

- you have to push him a little bit

- "All right! If you insist so much then I guess I'll pet it..."

- (side note: you didn't insist at all 😂)

- has a small smile on his face, he's trying to conceal his happiness even though he really doesn't have to

- after a while though, he starts feeling frustrated when he sees that you get along with the kitten better than he does

- but at first, he thinks that he's jealous of you, not the cat

- however it's the other way around

- he tries to catch the cat's attention to get it away from you

- He's shyly making cat sounds

- "N-nyaaa..."

- "What are you doing?"

- "Uh... that's the onomatopoeia for the sounds cats make in Japanese..."

- "Haha! So you're meowing in Japanese? 😂"

- "So what if I AM?!?"

Tegan

- likes animals but he often sees them through a screen rather than in real life

- he's honestly a little bit scared of getting scratched so he stays on the side at first

- but when he sees you having so much fun he gets envious and gets closer, trying to play with the cat

- he's not really successful...

- "Looks like it doesn't like me. I only get along with the villagers in Animal Blessing..."

- is so sad that not only have you been snatched away by the cute kitty, but also he can't join in on the fun

- you trick him into meowing for the cat because apparently "it will feel at ease if it hears you make the same sound as them"

- "Wait, really? You're pulling my leg, aren't you?"

- "Nope. Seriously, you can moogle it."

- "Whenever you bring up Moogle it means that you're lying because you don't have any solid proof..."

- does it anyway

- is super embarrassed when you start laughing because he got tricked so easily

- curses himself for being so gullible

Tyler

- loves animals, but mostly loves how funny they can be under the right circumstances

- pulls out his phone camera to film you playing with the cat

- "A really cute kitten and a really adorable human being side by side, this will definitely gather a lot of views on ViewTube!"

- he's being silly again while flirting with you, that's the part you like about him though

- he gives commentary on every single thing the cat does

- "Oh my GOD! Look at its paws!!! LOOK AT ITS PAWS!! WOOOOOW! That is spectacuLAR LaDiES AnD gEnTLeMeN!!"

- is talking with a nonexistent crowd

- but when he's done filming you keep on playing with it and Tyler feels a bit forgotten

- hugs you gently from behind then SQUEEZES you really hard

- "Tylerr... I can't breath... Hhhhhhhh."

- "Really? Good! You shouldn't ditch me for a cat Y/N! Howww daaare youuuu..."

- is joking about it but he's genuinely a bit jealous

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #406

“turned on all the lights, the tv, and the radio  /  still, i can’t escape the ghost of you”

Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Do you have any rare medical conditions? I believe AvPD is considered to be a rare mental disorder. Do you have to carry an epi pen? No. What color is your mailbox? I think it's black. I don't pay attention. Would you ever want a job working with animals? I'd love to. The thing is, without a degree in something, my duties working with animals would almost certainly involve cleaning up after them, which I am WAY too squeamish with fecal matter and vomit to do. It's extremely embarrassing, but I've never even been able to clean up after my own pets if they ever had an accident or got sick. I obviously couldn't do it with random animals. Did you have a good high school experience? It's... so odd, retrospecting on high school. In some ways, it was the best time of my life because of my memories with my friends and especially Jason, but at the time, I absolutely loathed it and was horribly depressed. But at least I saw a future for myself. I took better care of myself, all that stuff... That Brittany would be fucking mortified to get a glimpse at who she becomes. Have you ever watched any Monty Python movies? Which one is your favourite? I know I've seen some of at least one. Would you ever get a "below the belt" piercing? Nah. If a couple is married, do you think there should be any legal punishment if one person cheats? No...? Like don't get me wrong at all, I am firmly against cheating under any circumstance, but for there to be legal retribution seems extreme. What is the greatest source of anxiety for you? My future. Are there any hallucinogenic drugs you’d like to try? Nah man. What made you choose your current job? I'm unemployed. Do you feel uncomfortable on the dance floor? Or are you confident with you dancing abilities? Oh hunny, you won't see me on the dance floor. Unless MAYBE if the Cha-Cha Slide comes on, or the Cupid Shuffle. That's as skilled as I get, haha. Is it exciting to you to imagine having an affair with a teacher? ... No??????????? It's fucking creepy. Adultery isn't exciting. Do you like your smile? No. I absolutely look high when I smile. What is something silly that you believed to be true when you were a child? That I could invoke the traits of any animal, which I just referred to as my "animal powers." Like for example, if I "called upon" a kangaroo, I could jump higher. I was a weird fucking kid. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone you completely connected with on a mental/emotional level, but did not find physically attractive in any way? Was physical intimacy a problem? How did it work out? I was never really physically attracted to Girt, but it was never a big deal to me. I cared way more about his personality and how much he cared about me. We were never really "intimate," per se, we just would give each other a simple peck. It didn't work out, but not at all because of physical things. He was just too much of a brother to me. What classic or cult movie have you never seen and have no desire to? Hm. I know there's some, but I'm blanking. Does The Human Centipede count here? Like everyone knows about it, so I would assume it does. I have ZERO desire to see a second of that repulsive movie. Have you ever taken a real liking to a band/singer you never ever....ever thought you'd enjoy? Maybe Melanie Martinez? Her voice is so cutesy, as are some of her songs, but I really enjoy how dark her lyrics can be. People who know me would probably be shocked to hear I thoroughly like her. After seeing the movie Avatar did you suddenly view our Earth as ugly and/or boring? If you have not seen the movie, do you think it’s worth your time? I've seen a little bit of it, but I never finished it because I was very tired and chose to go to sleep. I actually do want to see the full thing, though; it looks very good. How helpful are your parents to you? Would they help you to pay for your first apartment? College? Where does the line end? My parents are truly incredible with helping me the best they are capable of. They helped me pay for school, among other things, but I doubt they'd help with my first home, whenever that is. I wouldn't really want them to, either, because that's my responsibility for sure. Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? I love video games, and horror is absolutely my favorite genre. I also love fantasy games though with deep stories. I've never been the best at playing super long games, like Final Fantasy games, even if I'm seriously invested in the story, though. I burn out. Have you ever sewn a garment? No. Are there any plants in the room you’re in? No. I don't bother with plants. What’s your highest level of education? Some college. What’s the most important thing in any kind of relationship? Proper communication, probably. If you wear lipstick, what’s your favourite colour to wear? I only really put on lipstick to occasionally take a picture, and it's pretty much always black. Is your style feminine, masculine or somewhere in the middle? Somewhere in the middle, I guess? Are there a lot of dragonflies around your house? I've never seen one around this house, and I doubt I ever will because it's too urban. When we lived in the woods, however, I saw them a lot. Of all the Disney couples, which one would you say is your favorite? Kovu and Kiara came to my mind first. Do you think it is cute/funny or disgraceful when a child swears? It's shocking, more than anything. You don't expect it. I don't believe it should be encouraged, but only because children just don't know when swearing really isn't appropriate. If/when you have a baby, how do you think you would want to decorate its room? I don't want kids, but I'll entertain the question and assume this is before the child is born and develops interests. Whether it's a boy or a girl, I'd probably go with a cutesy animal theme. Would you more likely buy a shirt with a picture of Mickey/Minnie Mouse, a Winnie the Pooh character, Snoopy, Hello Kitty, or Tweety Bird on it? None, honestly. Perhaps like, a gothic Hello Kitty. Of all the states you have been to, which one did you have the best experiences? Putting aside the AWFUL heat and humidity, I probably had the best time in Florida. I loved all the palm trees, seeing so many lizards on my grandma's patio, and going to Disney World was a blast. I liked that swimming pools were always warm, too. Have you ever had a crush on someone “too young” for you? No. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to? No. I was madly in love with him, so no regrets on that. If your boyfriend ever hit you, would you dump him? HA, BYYYYEEEEEEEEE MOTHERFUCKER. ZERO hesitation. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize? He did, but I honestly don't know if he meant it. Is there anything you want to say to someone? It'll probably go unsaid for the rest of my life. If they were to televise a live execution, would you watch it? Yikes, hard pass. If you could be the president of the USA, would you be willing to do it? Noooo thank you. Did you wake up in the middle of the night? I always do. Does your animal sleep with you? My cat does. Venus obviously sleeps in her terrarium, but she is in my room. Last color you dyed your hair? Red. Will you keep your last name when you get married? Very unlikely. I don't like my last name. What are you looking forward to? Hearing back again from the woman whose wedding I shot literally two years ago. I thought she ghosted me, but she messaged me the other day about seeing the pictures again and going through them to actually buy some. I don't know why the hell it took her two years, but whatever, I guess? I spent two whole hours resizing the files and re-adding the preview watermark (I deleted the OneDrive folder for space forever ago, but I have the files still), so I hate to sound like an ass, but she better buy something. Between sweating my ass off on location when I shot the wedding, editing those 100+ pictures two years ago, and now re-doing the previews, I have invested so much goddamn time into them that yeah, I think I have the right to be pretty damn salty if I don't hear back from her again. If your significant other cut sex out of your relationship for any reason, what would you do? It'd be whatever. I mean sure, that sort of intimacy is a very special part of serious romantic relationships to me, but I can live without it pretty easily. What was the last thing you said out loud? "Thank you for dinner" to my mom. She brought home Hardee's. Who are your godparents? I don't believe I have any. Do you like Gushers? omggggg yes Can you touch​ your nose with your tongue?​​ No. Is there a particular sport you follow on a regular basis? Nope. Are you waiting for something to arrive in the mail? No. Think of the last film you watched. Who was your favourite character? Uhhhh what was it... The Shining, I think? I didn't really develop a favorite. Do you have a friend whose name starts with ‘L’? Describe him/her. Lisa. <3 She's one of my WoW friends. She'll talk your ear off, but I don't really mind. She is SO sweet and caring for other people and loves to cook. She recently had triplets, and seeing as she had a son only months before accidentally getting pregnant with the triplets, she's obviously been MEGA busy so we haven't talked much lately. When you’re being kissed do you like it when they hold your face? Yeah, but not too early on. Doing that has a promise of seriousness and passion in it to me, and it would probably weird me out if that happened too soon. Last thing that made you cry? My health. Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? Nah. I don't think it would look good on me. Do you enjoy being outdoors? If it's cool outside and I have a place to sit when I want to, yeah. Do people tell you that you have an accent? Only sometimes. It's definitely not as bad as your average Southerner, though. Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? Ha, what nice timing. I think they're very pretty, but I believe I went over in a recent survey how I don't encourage their usage in consideration of veterans with PTSD as well as being conscious of animals and the absolute terror it can cause for them. What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? So my sister is a children's social worker, and she shares a LOT of stories with Mom (and me, if I'm present) that I can't listen to. The ones that involve pedophilia and/or rape, especially from the child's very own parent(s), I just cannot listen to. Period. It's so fucking repulsive and just unimaginable to me how even a monster of a human can commit something THAT goddamn vile. What’s your opinion of root beer? I'm not a big fan. I mean I can tolerate drinking some of it, but I don't really *enjoy* it. Have you ever seen The Breakfast Club, and what’s your opinion of it? I have, and I didn't get the appeal at all. Did you have a Furby when you were younger? Oh god, I did. Those things are so creepy. If you had a baby boy, what would you name him? Damien, most likely.

[jayykesley]

The multiples of 7? (Or any of them that sound fun to answer ilysm)

7. Are you in love? Do you want to be?

I am not, though I like the idea of being in love. Right now I’m too *gestures to all of me* whatever this is, to be in a relationship but I like the idea of being in one in the future

14. Would you want to be reincarnated?

jeez no, just let me go to heaven and be done

21. Do you have somebody, whether it be a friend or stranger, who you think you could have loved if the circumstances were different?

There have been people with whom I probably could have become good friends with had I stepped out of my comfort zone and talked to them first. There was a guy I would have said I was in love with at the time, but years later I can look back on that and confidently say “no I most certainly was not”

28. Would you want to live forever? How about for a billion years, a million, a millennium, a century?

absolutely not. maybe 100 years but only if I wasn’t alone and if I had enough money to do a job I love regardless of pay

35. What are you missing from your life?

a general sense of calm and peace

42. Is freewill an illusion?

uhhhh I dont think so? we have free will to choose God since our love wouldnt mean anything if God just forced us to choose him, but also I guess we cant really do anything unless apart from God? But I guess if God wills or allows it then we can? honestly im not sure now

43. Do you create art? How do you define art?

I do, and I define art as “anything intentionally done with love”. ugly sculptures that prevent homeless people from sleeping on benches is not art, but creating a painting to decompress after work or making food for your friend or tying a child’s shoe is art.

49. Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others?

oh absolutely, I think most people do bc we’re the only people we have control over so we feel like we should just “do better”.

56. What do you think about artificial intelligence?

in fiction, it’s rad, esp when its about an AI becoming more ‘Human” and learning to emote and love and stuff like that. in the real world, it’s being abused and will probably be abused as long as it exists/

63. How confident are you, really?

more than I used to be, a lot less than I’d like to be

70. What’s the tragedy of your life?

the missed opportunities that could’ve led me to a happier life that I ignored in favor of choosing what my parents wanted or what was already within my comfort zone

77. Is there comedy in all tragedy and tragedy in all comedy?

i’d have said no, but the story @dangerously-human told about her company’s system accidentally being brought down single-handedly by the stupidity of another company that had previously insulted them makes me say “yes absolutely”

84. Are you who people think you are?

I think my friends would say I’m kinder or funnier than I think I am, my parents would say I’m smarter than I think I am, and some other third thing. I think realistically I’m somewhere in the middle of what I think of myself and the culmination of what everyone close to me thinks I am.

91. Is hate as strong as love? Who do you hate?

Hate is fragile and brittle if it is not founded in love. Love is strong on it’s own, and hate for something that seeks to hurt that which is Loved is strong only because of that love. Hate on it’s own is shriveled and pathetic.

98. Do you ever feel that you are really a terrible person, and only act good out of societal or some other obligation?

Oh yeah, absolutely. A lot of the time I do good things because doing the bad thing against someone else would make me feel bad, which means I’m still thinking of myself and not necessarily the other person. idk where I’m going with that but yes I frequently think of myself as an Objectively Bad Person.

Thanks! <3

[damienhaasbaybee]

Figured it out 😂 for the let's get personal, can I request that you do them all?

I DID IT BAYBEEEEEEE.

* 1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

I’ll Be There For You and Bad Medicine by Bon Jovi, In My Head by Ariana Grande, I Believe by Jonas Brothers, Air Force Ones by Nelly, and Chasing Pavements by Adele

* 2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Harry Styles or Damien Haas so they can fall in love with me.

* 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“me that it was a sometimes temporary paralysis that causes damage”

* 4: What do you think about most? the fact that I have nothing to really work towards

* 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“I’m tireddd”

* 6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

without most of the time

* 7: What’s your strangest talent?

number and address recall 🙄 its embarrassing sometimes lol

* 8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls go to college to get more knowledge boys go to jupiter to get more stupider

* 9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

fuck no lol

* 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

um... today.. in the car

* 11: Do you have any strange phobias?

raw chicken.

* 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

a piece of ice so i could pierce my nose.

* 13: What’s your religion?

christian

* 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

um... if its for pleasure... swimming.

* 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind lol

* 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

of all time... linkin park or one direction

* 17: What was the last lie you told?

that I’m fine lol

* 18: Do you believe in karma?

v much so

* 19: What does your URL mean?

um... i am damien haas’ baybee and he is also my baybee

* 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

weakness, helping people until I die strength, i am honest

* 21: Who is your celebrity crush ?

james marsden, david dobrik, zac efron, miles teller, damien haas...

* 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no

* 23: How do you vent your anger?

i sing real fucking loud

* 24: Do you have a collection of anything?

one direction memorabilia lol

* 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

either works with me tbh

* 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

yes.

* 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

sound I hate: hearing others talk on the phone, sound I love: rubbing clean hands on a clean table

* 28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if I’m just crazy and none of this is real

* 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes. anything is possible.

* 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

my comforter both times lol

* 31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

a clean house lol

* 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

uhhhh Louisville

* 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

west coast because i have never been

* 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Harry Styles

* 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

to leave the earth better than I found it

* 36: Define Art.

art is everything and nothing that a person wants it to be

* 37: Do you believe in luck?

I do. circumstances create luck.

* 38: What’s the weather like right now?

pretty clear

* 39: What time is it?

10:08pm

* 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes and yes! I won’t say what it was but it hit ME.

* 41: What was the last book you read?

I tried reading Girl Wash Your Face but couldn’t get into it.

* 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yes

* 43: Do you have any nicknames?

yes I do... you can call me queen tho.

* 44: What was the last film you saw?

Legally Blonde

* 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

several ankles sprained severely on each side.

* 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

no

* 47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

yes. damien haas.

* 48: What’s your sexual orientation?

bisexual, demisexual, pansexual????

* 49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

yes. I was pregnant.

* 50: Do you believe in magic?

no.

* 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

yes, unfortunately.

* 52: What is your astrological sign?

cancer

* 53: Do you save money or spend it?

both!

* 54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

a carwash for my dads truck

* 55: Love or lust?

both

* 56: In a relationship?

somewhat

* 57: How many relationships have you had?

two

* 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no

* 59: Where were you yesterday?

home

* 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yes, my water bottle

* 61: Are you wearing socks right now?

no, never

* 62: What’s your favourite animal?

polar bear

* 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

my hospitality (including dis mouf)

* 64: Where is your best friend?

idk, at home?

* 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

oooooo bisquett, thebasketcase101, persistence-ofmemories, creativegoof, and zanesgirlfriend

* 66: What is your heritage?

I am part native american and european as far as i know. i want to do a 23andme so I can find out. My skin tans realllllly dark even with tons fo sunscreen on so that makes me think I have more Native American than I thought.

* 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

I was definitely watching New Girl

* 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

idk... Jones?

* 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

biiiiitch of course I have.

* 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Yes. I may suck but I am loyal as hell and I’ll do anything for my friends.

* 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

save the dog, fuck that job.

* 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) yes b) spend it with family and write a book c) fuck yes. i am terrified of death all the time.

* 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust. love is nothing without being able to trust.

* 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

It’s A Great Day to Be Alive by Travis Tritt

* 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

1389.. not in that order.

* 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

honesty and communication.

* 77: How can I win your heart?

buy me food and show me that I can trust you with my heart. I sturggle to trust people. I also NEED to be called pet names.

* 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Yes.

* 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Quitting my toxic ass job.

* 80: What size shoes do you wear?

9.5

* 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

She did her best, even when odds were against her.

* 82: What is your favourite word?

I dont have a favorite but my least favorite is “creamy”.

* 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Love.

* 84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“ooooo bitch”

* 85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Always You, Louis Tomlinson

* 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

darkkk red and black

* 87: What is your current desktop picture?

bitch I aint been on there in so long, I have no clue.

* 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Donald Trump

* 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

depends on who is asking, if its my family... asking my sexuality.

* 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Fucking scream and run.

* 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Mind reading.

* 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Seeing my dads face when I walked across the stage at graduation or him telling me how I looked in my junior prom dress.

* 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Watching my dad die.

* 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Harry Styles.

* 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

The beach, pronto.

* 96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not anymore

* 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

No

* 98: Ever been on a plane?

Yes. I loved it.

* 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Love others like you would like to be loved and see where that gets you.

[pikapeppa]

5 Questions for Writers

First of all, @serial-chillr​ I LOVE YOUR WRITER TAG MEMES. Second of all, I looked at these questions and was immediately like, “... favourites of everything? Out of all the things?” [stares hopelessly at all the ships and fics] BUT LET’S GIVE THIS A TRY.

Tagged by @serial-chillr​ @faerieavalon​ @elveny​ @hellas-himself​ @myfeyrelady​!

1. Do you have a favourite character to write? Who and why?

Fenris. WOW EVERYONE IS SHOCKED. But the thing I most love writing about Fenris is the complexities of his relationships with the Inquisition companions in particular, which is the main focus in Lovers In A Dangerous Time (i.e. Fenris the Inquisitor fic). I LOVE writing Fenris talking to Solas, Dorian, Varric and Cole especially. And, of course, always, Fenris with Rynne. 

Solas is a very close second because he’s so multifaceted and has so many moods. I also love writing smut for him because understated dom!Solas hits all my buttons… [fans self]  

2. Do you have a favourite trope to write? Or one you want to write?

Uhhhh… I guess Fenris and Rynne are a pretty classic case of the angry character/sunshine character ship trope. Mutual pining is a favourite, exemplified with FenRynne but also with Abelas and Athera Lavellan. I’M BAD AT IDENTIFYING MY OWN TROPES, someone else needs to help me out here haha!! 

3. Share your favourite description you’ve written?

Bahaha when I first saw this question I was like “UGHHH I hate writing descriptions of places.” Then I realized that a lot of the smut I write is descriptions and I was like “YEAHHHH”. So here is some Fenris/Rynne Hawke smut (from “My Body Is A Cage”): 

****************

The heat, the slick pressure of her throat and the hard pressure of her knuckles between his legs, her firm fingertips digging into his lower ribs: Hawke gave all of this to him, grounding him and holding him here in the bed they shared. Fenris was caught, helplessly and blissfully captured in this cage of his own pleasure. He was his body, living in it and relishing it and all the things that it could feel.

Pleasure and sensation, heat and tightness and the pounding of his own pulse, and even the things that had nothing to do with Hawke at all - the smooth flannel of the sheets under his sweat-dampened back and the tension in his fists as he twisted them into the pillows: all of it, every part of it was his body, and he was thankful for it, thankful for the pulsing waves of pleasure that were beating through his thighs and calves and even up into his throat. Fenris couldn’t think, couldn’t think a damned thing except that he loved Hawke, and he loved this, and he loved his own tense and pleasured body as she brought him to his peak -

And that peak, fasta vass, the fucking peak…

It surged through him like an overwhelming wave of force, washing through his straining limbs with all the sparking heat of Hawke’s lightning storms. He cried out his rapture and his praise and lifted his hips toward her mouth, and even through his mindless bliss, he could hear that his voice was rough and ragged with the strain of his own ecstasy.

4. Share your favourite dialogue you’ve written?

Fuuuuck. Dialogue/conversations are my catnip and my life. I always love writing Fenris and Rynne’s back-and-forth, which is the main reason I started my ‘ask Rynne Hawke and Fenris’ thing (which anyone can still submit to! I have a couple that I need to get to still!). But barring FenRynne convos, one of my favourite exchanges was this one between Fenris and Solas, from Lovers In A Dangerous Time. It’s long AND I’M SORRY, so you can feel free to skip it.

******************

Solas tilted his head. “Fenris, you too were raised in a city, and in circumstances even more disempowering than the alienages of the south.”

Fenris grunted. “And your point is?”

“Do you ever wish you were anything other than you are?”

Fenris glanced at Sera, then at Solas. “You mean, do I wish I were a human and not an elf.”

Solas tilted his head in acknowledgement. “Unless you wished you were something else entirely.”

Fenris raised one quizzical eyebrow. That was an odd thing to say. Then he shrugged and returned his gaze to the path ahead, and to Hawke’s slender back. “No,” he said. “I never wanted to be human. I am who I am.”

“You never wished that you were different from what you are?” Solas asked.

Fenris frowned at him. “If you’re asking if I wish to be like the ancient elves of old, then no,” he said bluntly. “That is an empty wish. A wish premised on no proof. There is no point seeking to recreate times long past. Especially since we can’t confirm what those times were like.”

“That is not what precisely what I meant,” Solas said. “But it is informative all the same.”

Informative? Fenris thought. What he’d said was hardly informative. It was just his opinion. But if Solas really wanted his opinion, he supposed he could share it. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do at the moment.

“I am satisfied with being a ‘city elf’, as they call it,” he said. “I don’t wish to be other than what I am. There is something… hardening about being the underdog.”

Solas looked at him. “Do you mean ‘heartening’?”

“That as well,” Fenris said.

The corners of Solas’s mouth curved in a small smile. Fenris shrugged. ”When I first escaped Danarius, I didn’t wish I was different. I wished everything else was different.”

Solas’s smile broadened slightly and he nodded in understanding, but Fenris frowned in thought. Now that Solas had him thinking about this, it was strange to compare his thoughts in the past to the way he felt about this topic now.

“Despite that, I… I am different than I was before,” he said slowly. “When I was first freed, I was… enraged. The change I desired was little more than a Tevinter landscape rendered in blood.”

Solas’s expression grew somber. “You can hardly be blamed. No great change has ever been wrought without the spilling of blood.”

“I am well aware,” Fenris said flatly. “But…” He paused pensively before speaking again. “I no longer thirst for the blood of my enemies. The snuffing of lives is a necessary cost, but… it’s one I no longer relish.” He glanced at Solas. “That was not always the case.”

Solas bowed his head briefly. “You are wise beyond your years, then.”

Fenris raised a wry eyebrow. “And you are not?”

Solas smiled. “Ah. No. You should have seen me when I was younger. Hot-blooded and cocky, always ready to fight.”

Without quite meaning to, Fenris let out a small laugh. “I can't imagine.”

Solas’s smile grew. “I would ask you not to try. It was a very different time.”

5. Scene you haven’t written, but want to?

I’ve been powering through writing the Trespasser chapters of Lovers In A Dangerous Time because I’m dying to write some parts of it, so those are going to happen very soon. When LIADT is done, I have a Felassan/Lavellan idea fic idea that I can’t wait to jump into. And then I have some Solavellan SMUT that I’m dying to write for @elbenherzart… [sweating]

Thanks for tagging me, friends! Tagging forward to @johaeryslavellan @midnightprelude @therarefereldancatlord @lostinfantasies38 @kittimau @barbex @novamm66 @dafan7711 @mrscullensrutherford @obvidalous @galadrieljones @thevikingwoman @solas-disapproves @beckily @iarollane @aban-asaara @tryvyalsynnes @lyrium-lovesong @irlaimsaaralath and anyone else who would like to play!

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

alpha/beta are carol/daryl foils: an analysis no one asked for; twd s10 spoilers, obviously

hoo boy. okay, so i’ve been intending to write this for days, but i had to let it marinate, and also i haven’t been sleeping and couldn’t concentrate long enough to write it down, but whatever, i digress. “we are the end of the world” was something, wasn’t it?? it is so weird to have a plotline in twd that’s like...good? and SO refreshing to have a villain who isn’t a macho, rapey, white dude. i personally believe that all showrunners should be women from now on. oh, i’m digressing again, my apologies.

here’s the actual content, under the cut bc it’s a fucking novel:

so, from alpha’s very first episode, when i saw her shaving her head, i literally thought, “oh, so she’s carol’s foil and they’re going to have an inevitable showdown, huh?” guess who was right? this bitch. but what i didn’t catch right away was how beta is also daryl’s foil, and how the main focus of this season is alpha/beta vs carol/daryl.

let’s take it apart individually first, yeah?

carol vs. alpha:

like i said, the scene that made me instantly aware of what they were setting up was when alpha shaved her head. carol’s hair was a big thing in season 9, and the fact that we had just had henry talking about carol growing her hair out long, juxtaposed with alpha shaving hers off, is what set the alarm bells off for me. i have said over and over that i don’t believe kang does anything unintentionally, and girl loves her symbolism, so those two opposing scenes was a taste of what she was setting up.

carol and alpha are both near-indestructible forces who also happen to be mother’s suffering the loss of their children at the hand of the other. (carol isn’t directly responsible for lydia, but she’s included with “the others” that took lydia from alpha, so i think alpha still sees her as part of it.)

carol and alpha both have transformed themselves to fit within the confines of the world they currently live in, while recognizing that their children weren’t meant for it, even within their own grief. let us refer to figures a and b (lol) below.

figure a:

here in “the grove” we have creepy girl who i hate and am terrified of asking carol if sophia died because she was weak, and carol straight up is like, “yes.” she doesn’t even sugarcoat it. she accepted that her daughter wasn’t going to survive from the jump, because “there wasn’t a mean bone in her body.”

figure b:

here we see alpha losing her goddamn shit, because she’s having a come-to-jesus moment with beta about losing lydia, because she can’t have lydia and be the alpha at the same time, because lydia “is not like” her. 

conclusion: carol and alpha both mourn for their daughters, but have accepted that to be the people they need to be in the apocalypse, their children needed to die (or in lydia’s case, be dead metaphorically). in short, carol and alpha are two sides of the same coin. they’ve both found ways to survive, except one is for the good guys, and the other is for the bad guys, and now they’re head-to-head, and it is d e l i c i o u s.

moving on.

daryl vs beta:

idk why the parallels didn’t occur to me when they had daryl fighting beta. i blame henry, he was distracting me by being a delightful idiot (rip my dumb bitch), but that seed was planted in season 9, too. go kang for continuity. who knew twd could do that? anyway.

the big thing that compares daryl and beta is who they were before they found carol and alpha respectively. we obviously don’t know a whole lot of details about beta’s life, but we have enough to extrapolate and compare, and extrapolate and compare we shall.

alright, so we got our favorite lovable, filthy redneck, who grew up abused and isolated, and then here comes the apocalypse, and the only person he has left is his brother, and that’s what defines him until he loses him, both when rick chained him to a roof, and then again, after a brief relapse, when merle sacrificed himself. 

next we have beta, who again, our info is limited, but he does not become “beta” until after whoever that walker alpha puts down is gone. judging by the size, approximate age, and the closeness beta had to him, i’m betting on, you guessed it, his brother. 

observe:

figure a:

figure b:

these are both turning points for these men, where they Fully Become the dudes that we know. daryl couldn’t be the daryl we know and love until merle was gone for good, and whatever his actual name is couldn’t become beta until smiley face shirt guy was smooshed. 

(side note: how fucking rank does that t-shirt have to be by now? at least the mask dries out, but do you think that t-shirt is just like, melded into beta’s skin at this point? gross.)

so time for the fun part.

alpha/beta and caryl in season 10:

season 10 finds both duos in similar circumstances, by which i mean, alpha and carol are losing their minds, and beta and daryl are like, “uhhhh, you ok?” the men are these women’s confidants, their person, the one they trust and love above all others. carol saved daryl and brought him into a community, and alpha did the same thing with beta. you want more visual aides? well, sure thing, scout!

figure a:

we’re carylers, we already know carol’s the reason daryl has the confidence and self-esteem to become part of the group, but juxtapose this with the following pic, which i will label

figure b (again):

and you will see that alpha sees something in beta that no one else does. she sees this lonely, talented man, who’s adrift and in solitude, and she essentially calls dibs. sound familiar? inorite?

so daryl and beta are now loyal to a fault to their women, and this season already has them being wary of how they’re acting. yes, i have more pictures. i like taking screenshots, okay?

figure a:

one of the first scenes we get with caryl is daryl asking carol if she’s still thinking about alpha, and if she is Dwelling, which is interesting, because...

figure b:

...that’s exactly the same thing we get with alpha and beta. the first scene in “we are the end of the world” with the two of them in present day is him questioning her motives, and then later on he’s like, “fuck, are you Dwelling?” 

and both women immediately are like:

and neither dude knows wtf to do about this, because they’re used to the women being the strong ones. carol’s whole, “you’ve got to feel it, but not me, i’m good repressing, conceal don’t feel” thing, mixed with alpha’s, “we’re living like the dead and the dead don’t feel emotions so obviously I Am Fine” motto is what their boys are used to, but suddenly carol is hallucinating dead children, and alpha is making shrines, and our poor dudes are like, “plz stop???” esp bc they know these women are FUCKING TERRIFYING, and should never be left to their own devices if they’re being crazy crackers.

ergo, both men are clinging to the hope that they can bring the women back from the brink. my last visual aides, yes i know, how sad:

figure a:

figure b:

both scenes have these dudes reaching out to their women and essentially expressing, in their own way, “i’m worried about you, can you plz stay within eyesight at all times, ilu,” bc neither daryl nor beta is equipped to have a nice long sit down conversation about feelings, and obviously carol and alpha wouldn’t bother to entertain it in the first place, so like  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. they tried. 

will it work? unlikely! because after that showdown at the end of both eps 1 and 2, these bitches ain’t about to stop for nothing. they just straight up made enemies for life, and they’re going straight harry potter with this shit, neither can live while the other survives, someone has to die, and while beta and daryl are not super on board with this whole “being bonkers and bent on revenge” thing, you better bet your ass that they’re going to make sure their woman is the winner, which means they automatically are paired up against one another as well.

so in a nutshell: we could have just stuck goatees on mmb and norman reedus, cast them as alpha and beta, and called them mirror!verse caryl (star trek reference, yay/nay?), because they’re mother fucking foils setting up for the mother fucking fight of the century, and oh my god, can you feel it in your bones how exciting it is that it’s not going to be a rick + negan dick measuring contest again? i am So Hype.

and ofc, as a hardcore caryl shipper, i obviously have to throw in that alpha and beta are totally in love (which is esp fun, bc whisperers aren’t supposed to feel love, uh oh, vulcan violation, yes i made another star trek reference, bite me), and if they are paralleling caryl, well...extrapolate from the evidence.

i love kang, you guys. i love how she tells a story. i love that she knows how to tell a story. this show is good again, and idk how she did it, but damnit, she did.

thus endeth my pointless critical analysis. forgive me. i was an english major and have absolutely no other use for my degree.

i’m ashamed too. 

that’s all. tomorrow is the early release of the caryl episode, i mean the new episode. looking forward to dying a valiant death with the lot of you. until then, friends.

deuces,

-diz

addendum: i was editing this, and was trying to think if there’s a parallel to the bracelet scene, and the only thing i could think of that alpha gives beta is his mask. she encourages him to take the face of his brother(?), and that keeps him grounded, which is interesting, bc my prediction for the bracelet is that it’s going to end up being a grounding device for carol when she’s dissociating. i don’t have a solid conclusion drawn there, but i thought i’d mention it before posting, just to plant the seed. 

k, done 4 real, bye

[harringtonheartache]

Call It Fate, Call It Karma | Part One

Part Two

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Summary: Y/n is one of the Scoops Troop who finds herself in the underground Russian base, and ultimately ends up strapped to the back of Steve Harrington whilst facing imminent death. (Essentially Steve & Robin’s interrogation but the reader is in Robin’s place). 

Warning(s): Stranger Things 3 spoilers, descriptions of blood and violence, cussing

Word Count: 1,951

A/N: I am 100% in fucking love with Steve Harrington. The title is taken from a song by the same name by The Strokes, it’s cute, maybe give it a listen. Request more ST fics if ya want, Steve prompts in particular are appreciated :-). I love my chaos boyfriend. This is a part one! If you bitches want a second part tell me, although I will probably do it anyway because I feel weird leaving this story without a true conclusion. Okay enjoy. 

The next punch to her face hit the air with the sound of a popping balloon. Her hand gripped the underside of the cold metal bench, the cool surface stimulating a sense of relief against her warm palms. This was not the first blow she has received in the past hour, as her expression was painted with reds and blues to match the Fourth of July festivities going on elsewhere. She closed her eyes, tired of fighting a battle with the fluorescent lights that seemed to hang from the ceiling just to cause her discomfort. This was taken as an act of insubordination to the Russian man who crouched before her. He took her whole face in one of his large hands, insistent on holding her full attention. His finger pushed aggravatingly on her swollen eye, an action that heightened the pain in her face. He spoke to her in English, but not even the removal of the language barrier would allow her drained mind to understand what was said to her so sternly. 

Apparently whatever was spoken acted as a preface to a change of location. As her body began being dragged out of the small room, she felt a strange alleviation of fear. While she made sure to remember that they could very well be taking her into a kill room to rid themselves of her as a liability, she took comfort in knowing that one phase of her torture interrogation was over. Her legs followed her upper body limply, her front side facing the ceiling as a large man pulled her like a wagon by the arm. She pulled once against his grip, as if this feeble attempt would grant her an upper hand in anyway. As if it was nothing to him (because it wasn’t), he slung her across the floor in front of him. She slid a good amount, smashing into Steve like two children at the bottom of a sledding hill. 

Their bodies laid there for a second, like two corpses awaiting disposal. Exhausted and half-conscious, Y/n used her knees to turn herself around to face Steve. “St- Steve? Hey, can you hear me?” He was with matching bodily damage, although it was safe to say that he had it a little worse than her during the interrogation phase. Her fingers met his shirt for a second, and she got one tug in before she herself was pulled from the floor and sat in a chair. Her shouts of disapproval were ignored as if they went unheard. Steve was removed from the ground as well, and placed in a chair that met the back of Y/n’s. Being the only one of the two imprisoned who remained conscious, she yelled profusely in displeasure. Much to her dismay, the men funneled out of the room like penguins, leaving them alone for the first time since their abduction. 

“Steve, wake up. Steve please fucking wake up, please. For fucks sake! Steve wake up.” Her voice was strained and weak, matching her worn appearance. She had endured her share of beatings without any urge to cry, but it was in this moment she felt that straining in the back of her throat that was usually followed by tears. “Steve fucking wake up,” the volume of her own voice added slightly to her increasing panic. She stirred indignantly in her chair, hoping that her movement -in addition to her rasping voice- would be enough to steal Steve from his unconscious state. After a few minutes of this, she was rewarded with a sound from him. “Hmm? Y/n?” 

“Steve! Oh fuck, thank you. Steve? Wake up. Are you awake?”

 “Uhhhh uh huh,” he dragged out the “h’s” of his speech, still struggling significantly with being awake. She let out a relieved laugh, but still worried for his physical state. “Are you okay?” She asked. “My ears are ringing, and I can’t really breathe. My eye feels like it’s about to pop out of my skull, but you know, apart from that I’m doing pretty good.” Although laced with sarcasm, the exchange of full sentence-length speech was reassuring. 

She closed her eyes again, this time able to do so without being met with an angry hand to her face. An almost content sigh left her bruised body. “What about you?” He asked. “I’m, uh.. bleeding. But okay,” she told him. Now that he was awake, her mind calmed, and she gave herself a moment to take in the room and weigh their options. There were a few drops of blood notable against the pale tile, a detail that some might overlook. Despite the contrast of the deep red and polished blue, the blood did not look abnormal splashed against the floor. The nature of the room invited spilled blood as a decoration. She leaned her head backwards to rest on Steve’s shoulder, physical contact that was comforting to the both of them. In a moment of dumb concern, she worried about bloodying his work uniform with her face. This maybe a thoughtful fear, had the interrogators been just as considerate in preserving his clothing during his own beating. 

She lifted her head after a minute or so, recognizing that she’d better use her time wisely. While the situation was very much real, she could not picture herself meeting her end in the minute room she sat in, strapped to the back of Steve Harrington. Looking to her left, she counted six metal tools spread out on a tray, like something you would see at the dentist’s office. The first of those six items was a pair of shining scissors. An excited huff of air left her nose as a smile spread across her mouth. “Hey, look to your right. There's a pair of scissors. If we hop together, maybe we can reach them.” It seemed like a solid plan, and Steve was enthused to follow her direction. “Oh shit, yeah let’s try that.”

Two hops in and perhaps feeling a little too confident, a third jump knocked them from their triumphant state and landed them on that pale blue floor. Despite their situation, the cool tile felt nice on their burning faces once they were down there. A drop of blood that had been making it’s way down Steve’s neck had it’s path redirected, and now moved horizontally, painting him a necklace of red. When it reached the floor, it added another splash to the already bloodied tile, looking just as natural as the others had. 

Given the circumstance, cuss words were the only vocabulary Y/n felt were appropriate to spill. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” A fitting trilogy of words. She started off her next sentence with another word from her list of obscenities. “Shit, we’re really dead, huh?”

 “No, no, no, we’re not dying here. We will not die in an underground Russian base that we didn’t know existed twenty-four hours ago,” he told her in a manner that he hoped would convince both of them that it was the truth. Y/n longed to blindly believe him; to be able to take his word for it that they would survive the rabbit hole their curiosity damned them down would be paradisaical. How polite of childish wonder to dig a grave for you (and a friend!). 

“I admire your optimism,” she spoke to him slowly. She felt defeated in every sense of the word. A brief silence fell over the two, but didn’t last as Steve spoke again. “I am optimistic that we will get out of here, but while it still looks like we are facing inevitable doom, can I say something?” He wished that he could read her face, but he remained incapable of doing so whilst strapped to the fallen chair. His hands laid in tight correspondence with one another, although the wraps that held them together with his legs were a sub-concern in comparison to the hurt he felt in his face. His hair had dried significantly since it had stuck to the back of his neck with sweat in the room that he was beaten. It had still managed to frame his face without flaw, although a tad messier than before; it worked for him. Not even a severe assault hindered his hairstyle. He laid stiffly on the floor, still forced into sitting posture from the chair he was tied to. With his head against the floor, his side profile emulated an artistically tragic painting, one that used watercolors to detail the bruises and blood.

Y/n, with her back to him, felt the slight shift in conversational atmosphere with her entire body. “Sure,” she didn’t leave him in much anticipation. An aimless memory had risen to the top of Steve’s consciousness, like bubbles appearing at the surface of a boiling water pot. “Do you remember when you helped me pass senior year English?” Truly a bizarre event to summon to mind when faced with death. Nonetheless, she did remember this. She remembered in great detail. While many found their newly developed friendship a curious occurrence, their personal progression from demodog mercenaries to honest friends was a comfort to both participants. “Yeah,” she reassured him, prompting him to continue. “I would come home actually excited to study, because with you it was fun. I mean, we became friends because all of the end-of-world demodog bullshit, but it was nice to do something normal with you. And you know we’ve hung out a lot since then, and now we are back to our more life-threatening pastimes, but I guess I just wanted to tell you how much fun I had while it lasted,” he said, his voice honeyed. “I know I am totally throwing a wrench in my optimism facade but I had to say it because to be honest, I am not completely sure Dustin isn’t utterly lost in the vents right now,” Steve finished, returning to a more light-hearted way of talking.  

This monologue flared a laugh from Y/n, and one that actually wasn’t tinctured with delusion. “Thanks, Steve. Me too. I agree, it was fun while it lasted. It is weird that it took the end of the world to bring us together.” Another chuckle left her and spread to Steve as well. “Is that pitiful or just fate?” she posed a question. “I’m just going to call it fate,” he said, his voice airy and amused. Perhaps it was fate, or perhaps karma was instead more suiting a word. If they were in all actuality saving the world, maybe becoming close with one another was their compensation. To draw a line between inevitable outcome and simple cause and effect seemed unnecessary, though. “If it is at all a comfort, I have a little more faith in Dustin’s navigation skills than you,” she added, her tone conciliatory. 

Their wild cachinnation grew, but was cut short when the Russian men returned to the room. The two were pulled from the ground just as harshly as they had been thrown down. It was then that a syringe was presented to the two of them. The needle sticking out of the top end took the hostages right back down to reality; pulled them from their previous conversation that had acted as a rather effective distraction. It was that needle that put a new, sick thought in Y/n’s head: was it good karma they had acquired, or bad? Maybe they saved Hawkins, or maybe they messed with an entity they were to leave alone. Perhaps their relationship was a reward, or perhaps it was a punishment, for it would end cruelty in torment and death in this small doctor’s office of a room.

[edge-lorde]

hp update: its been a long time, boys. ud think that with this plague outbreak id have more time for shitty phone games, and ud be right! however, the time i normally might use to make tumblr posts has been taken up by reading lotr orc fanfiction non-stop for at least 1 full month. id still be in the thick of that obsession even now if only the fics would update. that is how i find you today folks, for the first time in many weeks i am staring at a screen with nothing to do. so come with me friends, theres no better way to fill the soulless void we are all in than reading a nice long tumbler post. 

disclaimer, first of all, a lot has happened, i prefer to keep these updates as plot spoiler free as possible but do to extenuating circumstances i feel like it is necessary to say, [SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER BELOW]

that rowan fucking died,

i wont say exactly how, but i will say that her death was animated as were animations of myself and a few others reacting to our friend fresh corpse. obviously meant to be serious moments but the animations made it seem almost comical. 

i saw at least one post going around right after this update that was like ‘how could the game devs do this to us..... how could they hate rowan so.... this is punishment from on high’ and its like.... u guys do know what a story is right? the events of  a story are not typically done to punish less faithful fans, im pretty sure they were planning to kill rowan off from the beginning. this isnt disney im pretty sure the writers are not writing each chapter the night before its released by popular vote. 

that little “are we drifting away..?” scene with rowan makes more sense now. there was a bit in one of the scenes where the kids all reminisce on rowans life and the mc talks about it being the last real one on one time they had with rowan. a nice bitter sweet moment. i dont hate this turn of events. its a good reminder that actions have consequences and we are way past they days of “should i wear a hat or scarf?” its YA time now. 

i did manage to take 1 screenshot from this time, i had commented that before that when rowan said she didnt have many friedns that barnaby seemed to be hanging out with her without be there as a friend buffer and here was his reaction to her death:

;_;

the funniest part in all of this however, was of course cedericks reaction to rowans death “but she was so young....” LOL fuckin RIP.

lets see... what else.... i forget a lot of what happened but i think there was a time sensitive quidditch event in there somewhere? if so i  dont remember it. what i do remember of the quidditch pals is that im gonna play beater now, skye is being weird and cagey about it, andre is involved.... the others are there.....

sidenote, i love the shitty b characters they throw in to be like yes you know this person but no they are not cool enough for u to even think about befriending. the first one of those is face paint kid, and now we have another, who is a former beater girl with horrible bangs named bean who didnt go to any classes for a whole season so she could just play ball 24/7 and got kicked off the team.  this is a character who only exists to provide an explanation as to why there would be a beater position open but i love them on principle. 

right now im in the midst of another time sensitive event, this one is a bother-your-brother-at-work-day event where recent hogwarts graduate bill weasley is bullied by myself and his younger brother charlie into letting us go with him on one of his curse breaking jobs. 

so for those unfamiliar, bill works for the magical bank of england.... and his job seems to be “retrieving treasure” for said bank. in the books, there is a bit where he takes his family on one of his trips to egypt, where his job seemed to have been tomb plundering indiana jones style for the posterity of the english bank :X. i wont explain here why thats bad but its bad. 

the game devs however in this instance, at least SEEM to be doing what jkr couldnt do by attempting to salvage what is left of gringotts bank and form it into not a super shitty implications factory run by horrible jewish caricatures. bills mission is to retrieve a goblin made artifact that was taken by dragons, so no going to foreign countries to steal things from other people! only going to a dragon reserve to rifle through animal nests. they even appear to be providing us with a likable goblin character, egad!  

my hope for this event is that we get a plotline about how maybe, goblins arent shifty human haters for no reason, and in fact they hate magic humans for very understandable reasons, like being forced to go into hiding with the rest of the magical world even though only the humans wanted to do that, and maybe despite running the bank in england they still dont have a lot of political sway in the world of wizards and witches, and have to rely on the faith that said wizards and witches wont fuck them over at every turn, even as they see how they treat other non-humans, such as house elves, which they desperately dont want to end up like. and maybe they DONT only care about gold... maybe thats a human stereotype based on the fact that theres a long history of humans not respecting goblin ownership customs.... which i could get into..... but i wont.... i just....... very badly dont want them to suck ;__________;

i know i said its ok to still like a piece of media as long as you recognize the problems with it, and i do, but once this game is done im gonna stop hp posting all together. ive been feeling more and more uncomfortable making these posts lately.  

GENERAL GAME NOTES; theres been some new layout changes and such. 

most notably the stairs screen has been changed from a bulleted list of all locations to a screen with tiles picturing an image of each location along with the name + icons of all classes at each place. there is one additional location that is new and yet to be unlocked, and the dragon reservation is appearing temporarily as its own tile as well. i prefer this method of getting in and out of a temporary location to how they did it with car during the last christmas special. the stairs icon also now stays in the corner when you scroll through locations, allowing you to open the stairs menu without scrolling all the way back to the left. 

they also moved a few of the buttons down into the lower left corner rather than the left side & combined the story button and sidequest button. they added a little camera button as well, just like in the dormitory, that makes all the icons in a location disappear and look better for screenshots. 

the daily special add offer thing now has its own button in the top right corner of the screen, and idk if i mentioned it before but now there are daily challenges that appear in the sidequest screen that offer small rewards for completing 3 tasks per day + a better one if u get all 3. the prizes are things like 4 energy, 75 coins, 3 monster food. the better rewards are usually either more coins, 8 energy, 3 gems, or 1 notebook. i think that it does all the different color notebooks but i cant remember for sure if i ever saw the gold one up as a reward. i like this addition in any case. if you dont pick up ur reward by the end of the day, the next time u log on it will force u to stop and accept them, and if one of the rewards is energy and ur energy bar is full, it does not seem to stack beyond the bar so watch out.

 the character stats page is now more zoomed out so you can see your full character instead of just from the waist up. no change to the leaderboard. rowans face in the friendship roster is now a still black and white image that says ur friend may be gone but friendship is forever u-u. 

rowan has been removed from all classes. in the classes where the minigames involved her, those minigames have passed the mantle onto other friends in the class. in potions that person is now liz helping u find stuff off the shelves and in tranfiguration that person is badeea. bless these girls for helping mc get through it. touched my heart. 

theres been a few fun little “i know u have more free time now so uhhhh have some energy” prizes like they do sometimes when they dont update on schedule so thats been nice. just a few days ago they gifted us 3 gold notebooks the same way. :O. 

theres also been a few instances of a energy happy hour where for a limited time energy takes less time to refresh. normally it takes 4 mins for 1 energy to do this but during happy hour its like 2:30 mins. :U its all very interesting.

and that will have to do it for tonight my friends, ill do a post for the dragon event when its done because i do like it so far and i do like getting to bully bill with charlie. 

until next time, remember.......

[tinyavenuesailor]

Missed Opportunities

This is the beginning of a Spideytorch week series

Day 1 - Identity Porn

Peter was allowed to pity himself.

He was!

To hell with all of these inspirational quotes and speeches, or what they say about the darkness of self-pity. They haven’t met Peter Parker. Try having a superhero gig in a crazy place like New York City, where the villains’ favourite hobby is throwing you into a brick wall. Or having the media paint every single good deed you do as a mess you created. Constantly giving excuses because no one knows you’re saving the world in your spare time- and did he mention the lack of a love life? Oh and here is the newest misery in his life. How about having your best friend getting knocked into a coma for two weeks. TWO WEEKS! And when they wake up, the first thing they do is avoid you. Can’t even look you in the eye! Not like you haven’t been sitting by his side every moment you can spare, or having sleepless nights filled with worry, or feeling a constant sense of dread that you may never see that blonde idiot smile again.

.

.

.

.

He’s had a shitty couple of weeks and right now his native asshole New Yorker was dialed to a hundred.

He thought he could finally catch one peaceful hour (he’s Spider-Man, he wasn’t going to push the luxury time of a break, no matter how short), in a small cafe when his best friend stepped through the door of the cafe. He had on shades and a hat to hide his most prominent features, but after knowing the guy, Peter was able to recognize Johnny under any disguise. Especially such a terrible one. And just as the Parker Luck had it, Johnny turned his head and spotted Peter. Johnny's mouth gaped open at Peter for what seemed like an eternity. It took Peter a while to realize that Johnny was willingly making his way over to him. Hestopped in front of his table and held a small awkward smile, “Sw- P-Peter Parker.” This was officially weird. Let’s refresh.

Johnny Storm was his best friend but not Peter Parker’s best friend: Spider-Man’s best friend. Peter Parker, the person sitting in front of Johnny, was a loudmouth, smart-ass photographer whose main goal was to ruin his life (Johnny’s words not his). In other words, Johnny Storm did not associate with Peter Parker unless his picture was being taken for the front page of the Bugle.

Peter sat there in silence unable to come up with any reply to Johnny. He was still dazed at the fact Johnny even initiated a conversation. He was more used to the poorly executed insults and warnings to stay out of his life. The basics of his relationship with Johnny hasn’t changed though, with Johnny always misinterpreting Peter’s actions. For example, understanding Peter’s silence to be an invitation to sit. “Hey,” Johnny dipped his head and whispered. He lifted his shades up revealing those soft blue eyes. “It’s me.”

The poor misguided idiot he calls his best friend. “I know,” Peter folded his arms. “Sunglasses and a hat ain’t going to cut it as a disguise with those designer clothes, hot stuff.” Peter aimed particularly at the red leather jacket, a signature look for their native hot head.

Johnny's eyes went wide before dropping down his glasses and sinking into his seat. If he was trying to hide any eye-catching materials on him it wasn’t going to work. Johnny didn’t have to try to grab attention, despite his natural flamboyant personality. When Johnny stepped in, it was hard for your eyes not to gravitate towards him. Whether the attention was good or bad was all dependent on how obnoxious Johnny was feeling for the day. Johnny pulled the hat down making sure to tuck as much blond as he could away, “I’m sorry, I don’t have a line of ugly t-shirts to wear. Wanna lend me yours?”

And there were the insults, “I like this shirt.”

“Of course, you do,” Johnny smirked. Peter almost missed the small chuckle under Johnny’s lips.

“Are you just here to insult me or do you have an actual reason as to why you have graced me with your presence,” Peter raised an eyebrow.

“Just wanted to talk,” Johnny looked down at his fingers.

“Sureeeee,” Peter said with a straight voice, “but seriously what do you want?”

“To talk.”

Peter blinked, waiting for Johnny to burst out into laughter and throw another insult at him, but the man held a straight face, “Wait you’re serious?”

“I think we got off on the wrong foot,” Johnny shrugged. “Maybe we could be friends.” Okay, wow. Johnny was serious. Peter was definitely going to have to call Reed later to have Johnny scanned for brain trauma. The doubt on Peter’s face was blatant and Johnny rolled his eyes and groaned, “I’m being serious here.”

“Forgive me for being skeptical,” Peter took a sip of his coffee. “You haven’t exactly been the ‘friendliest’ to me.”

“I’m being friendly now right.” Peter furrowed his eyebrows and Johnny's shoulders fell, not able to break past an inch of Peter’s suspicion. He leaned closer and ducked his head down, “Look, I don’t really have a lot of friends. And after thinking it over for some time, I don’t see why we can’t be friends. It’ll be nice having someone to talk to.” Peter in normal circumstances would have been sympathetic and would have even let his guard down. except his alter-ego Spider-Man was Johnny’s best friend.

“What about our mutual friend?” Peter clenched his teeth.

“Spidey?” Johnny tipped his head. “What about him?”

“You can’t talk to him?”

“I-t It’s not really the same,” Johnny’s voice went soft.

“What’s wrong with Spider-Man?” Peter narrowed his eyes down at Johnny.

“Nothing is wrong with Spider-Man, okay,” Johnny groaned, “he’s a cool guy and why are we talking about him anyway?”

“Because the guy has spent the past few weeks worried about your ass and you don’t really seem to give a damn,” Peter got out of his seat and grabbed his bag. “Is it really so hard to just tell him you’re okay? He’s supposed to be your friend after all! If that’s how you treat all your friends I don’t want to be one!” Peter stormed out of the building eyes raging red without giving Johnny a chance to talk.

Peter was so over self-pity. He should have listened to all those inspirational speakers they are famous for a reason. Now he was pacing back on forth on the statue of liberty drowning in regret. Dark, feel-like-shit regret. He’s better off sticking to his self deprecating ways. Sure it upset him that Johnny would obviously not meet with his masked face but he didn’t mean to blow a fuse. The one opportunity Peter Parker gets to be genuine friends with Johnny Storm and he blows it. Screams in the guy’s face and storms off. It would be great to see his friend outside of spandex and not get an eye glare.

He needed to apologize, wanted to so badly but how was regular old Peter Parker going to get a hold of Johnny Storm. It was rare enough seeing Johnny walking among the civilians; when the city wasn’t hosting a battle between the Fantastic Four and the supervillain of the month. Even those times were far and few in between. He’s surprised Johnny was even able to remember him. His smart-ass attitude must have really made quite an impression.

There was always the solution to all his problems by finally telling Johnny the truth. Peter has known Johnny since they were teenagers. The young flamehead used to be curious about the face under the mask asking every question he could think of. As time went by the questions decreased until the matter of his secret identity was non-existent between them. If Johnny was dying to know, he never voiced it and respected his friend’s wishes.

If someone was to ask the masked vigilante why he wouldn’t tell his super pal the Human Torch his identity, he couldn’t give you an answer. His mind would draw a blank. Trust wasn’t the problem, Peter trusted Johnny with more than his life. He treated him like family. Johnny was an important person in his life. The excuses that Peter made to himself at this point were null, yet something held him back. The fear that things might change or the disappointment he may see in Johnny’s eyes when he finally discovers the truth.

“Glad you got my message!” Peter’s view shot up at the sound of Johnny’s voice from above. It was really hard to not see a flaming message in the sky saying ‘Meet at the usual place’. If he ignored that then he would just be a hypocrite and Peter already had enough guilt weighing on him. Johnny flew down and landed with a box of pizza in his hand. “Okay so I realize that I may have been an asshole this past week.” Johnny shot him with the most apologetic sparkling blue eyes Peter has ever seen. If Johnny had hit him with that from their meeting in the cafe he would have forgiven him on the spot.

Peter looked down at the pizza in Johnny’s hands, “Does the pizza come with the apology?”

“Yes, a whole box of Ray’s pizza.”

“Is it the real Ray’s pizza?”

“Uhhhh, I guess.”

Peter took the box with a sigh and took a seat, “I refuse to acknowledge you as a real New Yorker but I accept your apology.” Peter lifted his mask above his nose and bit into a slice. It was real Ray’s pizza. Maybe Johnny is a New Yorker after all.

Johnny to a seat next to him and released a heavy breath, “I really am sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“Completely avoid me and ignore every attempt I made to contact you,” Johnny flinched at the blunt words. He apologized again with a softer undertone.

“If it makes you feel better I didn’t just avoid you,” Johnny turned to smile like he could brighten the mood. “Although avoiding people you live with is pretty impossible.” It doesn’t make him feel better, rather it left him very concerned.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Johnny froze and a pained expression flashed over his face. “I- I can’t really talk much about it.”

“Johnny, you were in a coma,” The Spidey mask scrunched to show Peter’s perplexed expression.

“Well my body was here but my mind,” Johnny sighed. “I had narrowed it down to time travel or alternate universe, but now I’m a hundred percent sure it was an alternate universe.”

“You went to an alternate universe?!”

“Yeah got to live as another me for a few weeks,” Johnny's shoulders slumped down.

“Did something happen?”

“It’s not what you think,” Johnny shook his head. “It was perfect. Just so perfect. Like, there is another version of me living the best life with an amazing family and the perfect husband and the most lovable kid. And to kick it off he had both my dream kitchen and workshop! not one, both!” Johnny threw his arms up into the air. “And those weren’t even the best parts.”

“Oh.” Peter was at a loss of what to say.

“And then I came back and,” Johnny ran his fingers through his hair, “ and I don’t know what. I couldn’t help but miss it.” He slumped down to his knees. “Sorry, Spidey, when I woke up, I was just expecting someone else.”

Peter's heart clenched and he kept his eyes away from Johnny and onto the horizon. He remembered that night. Johnny turning in the bed, arms reaching out to his side searching for someone and groaning when he couldn’t find them. Peter had thought at the moment that Johnny was disoriented and trying to ground himself. He reached his hands out to Johnny. When their hands met a smile bright enough to melt an iceberg grew on Johnny’s lips. He intertwined his fingers with Peter’s and gave them a squeeze. Peter was too shocked at the gesture to think too deeply into it, but looking back at it those soft chuckles and finger rubs were meant for someone else. “Come back so we can cudd-” Johnny opened his eyes and his smile fell quicker than an anchor to the sea floor. He snatched his hand away and Peter watched as disappointment filled Johnny’s eyes. The rest was history.

“I’ve been spending the past week jealous of another me I guess,” Johnny laughed bitterly to himself.

“Johnny,” Peter started unable to watch his best friend do this to himself.

“I know,” Johnny shrugged, “it’s not my life but i doesn’t mean I didn’t wish it was.”

“Yeah, I guess I understand.” It made him a little jealous too knowing in some distant universe there was a version of him that did everything right, where Uncle Ben was alive and he didn’t mess up every good relationship he had.

“Don’t worry I’ll be back to my old self soon,” Johnny knocked his shoulders. “On the bright side no matter which universe I still have you as my bestie.”

“I was?” As his friend. Just a friend. Peter isn’t sure why that doesn’t sit right with him.

“Yeah, you weren’t really different, still just as annoying.”

“Well, thank god,” Peter blew out in relief. “Who else is going to drive you insane?” Peter and Johnny both burst out into laughter until they settled down into a comfortable silence and chewed on their pizza.

“Sooo,” Johnny broke the silence, “You go to Parker to talk about your problems now.”

“Had to go to somebody when you were gone,” Peter shrugged. He’s glad Johnny came up with his own decent explanation for Peter Parker knowing Spider-Man’s dark thoughts.

“I guess you two are close then.”

“A little.”

Johnny tucked a couple strands behind his ear, “Can you confirm something?”

“What?” Peter asked with a mouth stuffed with pizza.

“Does Peter hate me?”

Peter nearly choked on his pizza at the question. “No! No, he doesn’t hate you! Peter can come off as an asshole but trust me he doesn’t hate you.”

“Okay,” Johnny gave a small smile, “that’s good.” He took up another slice and continued in their previous silence.

Peter honestly didn’t know what he was doing. The first time he stepped into this cafe was on a complete whim on getting some relaxation into his system. Now he was hoping to have another fateful run-in with Johnny. Key word hoping. This may or may not have been his third or fourth time standing in front of the menu while the barista glared him down. Studying the menu for thirty minutes and ordering a single black coffee apparently gets on baristas’ nerves.

He’s never observed the options on the menu. He actually uses the time to think of what he’ll say to Johnny if he ever saw him. An apology for starters followed by a joke to lighten the mood between them and then an invite to drink coffee with him. Peter should be able to wing a conversation after that. He’s been winging it his entire life. His thirty minutes were up and he walked up to the barista ready to order. “Uhh, can I get a …”

“Black coffee?” The female barista raised an eyebrow at him. “We can give suggestions if you have trouble choosing.”

“I like your coffee.”

“Yeah, most of our enthusiast order the specials.”

“Count me in the minority.”

The barista held a cold glare as she took up a cup and started writing his name, “Sure thing, Peta.”

“No, its…”

“Peter?”

Peter turned around expecting to see Johnny, but instead met with a young man with striking blue eyes and raven black hair. If he wasn’t so disappointed at the lack of a Johnny Storm he would have been stoked to have a beautiful boy talk to him.

“Sorry, do I know you?” Sure the boy was beautiful but he’s never met him. He wouldn’t forget a face like that.

The boy blinked for a few seconds before sitting back into his heels. “No, uhh I’m umm a big fan of yours.”

“A fan?” He had fans?

“You’re a photographer at the Bugle, right?” Apparently, he had fans.

“Yeah,” Peter scratched his head. “I just didn’t know I had fans.”

“You are the one who takes the best Superhero photos in the city,” the boy tucked a lock of hair behind his ear. Was cute guy flirting with him? This felt like flirting, which Peter was very open to.

“Excuse me,” the barista interrupted. “Could you please pay?”

“Oh,” Peter pulled out a wallet and handed her a five. She quickly took the five and made the transaction. As she was handing Peter his change, she peered behind him to the boy, “I’ll be careful around this one he left his last boyfriend in tears here.”

“He was crying?!” The devastation hit Peter imaging Johnny in tears alone after he stormed off. He didn’t mean to make him …. Wait. “He’s not my boyfriend!” Then another pause. “Was he really crying?”

“Guy looked heartbroken to me.” Peter didn’t have much time for questions with a line he was holding up and a call for a black coffee for ‘Peta’.

No wonder he hasn’t seen Johnny, if he really did leave here in a sullen state then he probably wouldn’t want to come back to the cafe. “So the famous Peter Parker is a heartbreaker?” Peter spun around to see the same cute guy interested in keeping the conversation going.

“Don’t get your hopes up, you would think my facebook status was stuck on single,” Did that really just leave his mouth?

The cute boy thought it was funny anyway and laughed along, “So you don’t have a boyfriend?”

“None that I’m aware of.”

“Vanilla Latte for Spencer,” The barista placed down a cup.

“Is that you?” Peter pointed towards the steaming beverage.

“What?”

“Spencer?”

The boy furrowed his eyebrows until he saw the steaming cup, “Oh yes, yeah that’s me Spencer.”

“Do you have a last name?”

“Well duh its umm Jones.”

“Spencer Jones?”

“Yeah, I’m new in the city,” he took a giant cup of the boiling latte. “Do you...umm,wanna grab a seat?” Spence pointed towards the empty seats. Peter thought against it at once knowing his primary objective for being there was for Johnny but those blue eyes were so tempting, he couldn’t resist.

“Yeah sure, I’ll tell you all the crazy stories about the big Apple.”

Okay, Peter may have turned into a regular at the hipster coffee shop. He’s given up on any chance of seeing Johnny. If the Human Torch did visit this coffee shop often, Peter always missed him. He now stops in to meet up with his new cute friend Spencer. He’s formed a habit over meeting his friend every morning. Friend. Friend. Maybe more than a friend.

“How could you stand working for him Peter,” Spencer threw his phone down with the Bugle’s latest published article on their favorite menace, Spider-Man being displayed. The headline, ‘Spiderman’s Reign of Terror’ and a photograph of Spiderman brawl with the Rhino taken by yours truly. “He’s obviously protecting citizens and he can do nothing but mention the damage and call him a menace!” Peter had learned so far that Spencer is a big fan of Spider-man. It got him feeling giddy inside. “Like what’s Jameson’s problem? What Spidey ever do to him?” The way he jumps to defend Spider-Man is also quite pleasing to Peter’s ears. “He probably has a job and another life to balance with all that superheroing, and he’s doing a pretty good job! Why can’t they just give Spidey a break?” He was going to cry. He had to hold back the tears. Is this was appreciation felt like?

“Spider-Man would love you, if he ever heard you say that,” Peter masked the fact that he was choking up inside.

“I am pretty lovable,” Spencer shrugged.

“Are you?”

“I mean look at me,” Spencer held his head up, “I’m gorgeous, who could resist loving this face.”

He was beautiful. “You should really get that narcissism checked out.” There was a sudden kick to his shin and Peter jumped in his seat, “Ow, you kicked me!”

“You deserved it,” Spencer stuck his tongue out. “What does it take for you to agree with me?”

“Then it’ll be too easy.”

Spencer rolled his eyes and drank his latte, “You are so difficult.”

“Yet, here you are every morning seeking my company.”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“That you enjoy my company,” Peter smirked and Spencer covered his mouth to hide his laugh.

“Now who’s the narcissist.”

“Still you,” Peter replied without hesitation.

Spencer rolled his eyes over Peter and shrugged, “You’re right, you can’t love yourself wearing a shirt like that.”

“I like this shirt,” he really just grabbed it off a sale rack when MJ demanded he go shopping for new clothes. He got a great deal.

“Do yourself a favor and never wear it again. In fact, give it to me I’ll have it burned.” Peter wasn’t doubting Spencer on that. The boy was very serious towards the hatred of his t-shirts. Spencer continued to drink his latte at an alarmingly fast rate despite it still being hot. Peter was still waiting for his coffee to cool down. Spencer put down his cup and his eyes flicked up to Peter, a question obviously weighing on his mind. “Peter?”

“Yeah,” Peter straightened in his seat.

“I’m not assuming wrong about this, right?” Spencer placed a hand over his and stared right into Peter’s eyes.

Peter’s heartbeat loud in his ears, screaming to be heard as he interlaced his fingers with Spencer's and took the jump, “No.” He really hoped he wasn’t falling as fast as he felt he was, but with a smile that could brighten your whole world like Spencer’s- it was hard not to. He could stay staring into those blue eyes forever until his phone alarm went off ruining the moment. He snagged his hand away and quickly grabbed it up. “Shit,” Looks like Vulture was on the prowl… again.

“Peter?”

“Spencer, sorry I have to cut this short but I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you,” Spencer drew his hand back into his lap. Shit he was not about to leave another gorgeous boy sad in this cafe. He already gets enough death glares from the baristas as it is. Peter took a leap of faith and dropped his head down to press a kiss to Spencer’s cheeks. Spencer yelped,not in a bad way, but in a surprised-good way. “I - I’m looking forward to it.” Peter had to rush out after that. Not only because he has a mad guy flying the skies and harassing the peace of New York, but because he’s falling harder and faster than he would like to admit.

Spencer watched Peter run out and waited a few minutes before deciding to leave himself. He walked two blocks up from the cafe before he stepped into a back alley. He did a double-take to make sure no one was watching before tapping his wrist, revealing a watch fading out of a camouflage mode. He pressed a button on the watch and Spencer’s black hair melted into blond and his face became slightly smaller and slender. The only constant feature on him were his blue eyes, a very well known trait of the famous Storm family. Spencer was now revealed to be Johnny Storm, the Human Torch. His hand drifted over to his cheek still able to feel the sensation where Peter kissed him. Johnny took a deep breath and fell back onto the wall behind him. “I’m fucked.”

Next

[mz-hide]

Mowing the Lawn - Chapter 3

Aka: a Dragon Ball Z AU slash fic.

Chapter 3

May I interest you in some morning after shenanigans?

Summary: Mowing the lawn (in almost every sense of the term). Goku and Vegeta have a secret relationship. Turles has a cute dealer and needs someone to smoke his pot with. Raditz thinks the only thing hotter than the weather is his moms’ new lawnmower boy. Ships & Pairings: Son Goku/Vegeta, Raditz & Turles, Raditz/Turles, Gine/Seripa | Fasha, Bardock/Toma, Bulma Briefs/Yamcha, Brolly/Raditz, Brolly/Turles, Daiz/Turles, Daiz/Raditz/Turles, Bardock/Turles, Bardock/Toma/Turles         Contains: Gay Sex, Established Relationship, Casual Sex, Fuckbuddies, Recreational Drug Use, Alcohol, Blow Jobs, Secret Relationship, Everyone Is Gay, Alternate UniverseAlternate Universe - Human, Threesome - M/M/M, Threesome, seducing the pool boy, Dirty Talk, Smoking, Explicit Sexual Content, Resolved Sexual Tension, Open Relationships, Open Marriage, Age Difference, Sexual Roleplay, Friends With Benefits, Sexcapades, masturbation      

You can find the rest on my AO3 page (username: originalmonkeyhydes)

Yamcha had foul breath and wore the same smelly clothes from the night before. Nevertheless, there was a spring in his step when he made his way back to the hotel the next morning. He’d had a wonderful time the night before. Bulma was the kind of girl that made it hard for him to believe his luck every time she invited him into her bed. He had all but forgotten he hadn’t been the one winning the medal and the prize money at the tournament. He idly wondered how his room mate had celebrated his victory, after the unannounced meeting of the night before. If a fight had broken out, he would have heard something about it from Krillin or master Roshi. Surely, his friend handn’t just gone straight to bed. Even after so many years of acquaintance, Goku was still somewhat unreadable to him. If Yamcha had to guess, Goku had probably wondered off to look for some cheap thrill -or rather, what his version of a thrill was- most likely a place that served food late at night, because that’s what Goku did when he was in a good mood. He was somewhat of a hedonist in that way… As the elevator doors opened on his floor, however, the trail of his thoughts was interrupted. Yamcha couldn’t help but stare at the disheveled beauty that hurried past him to catch the elevator. His bewildered eyes followed her, duly noting her embarrassed, shifting gaze, the way her hair stuck to the back of her head, how the dress she wore and the high-heeled shoes that dangled from her hand didn’t suit the time of the day. Only when the girl’s eyes met his, he averted his prying stare. He was by no means an expert, but he knew enough to know what a walk of shame looked like. Then the elevator door closed and the vision disappeared. Yamcha didn’t quite know what exactly had clicked into his mind -maybe it was because the girl was dark and fiery-eyed- but he suddenly suspected he knew what door she’d come out from. Pursing his lips, he opened the door to his room. What he saw, seemed to confirm his suspicions. His side of the room was just as he’d left it. Goku’s side however… “Well… Who would have thought!”, Yamcha whistled, impressed, smirking from ear to ear. “Seems like Goku is not as innocent as he would have all of us think!” Beer cans were scattered here and there on he floor. The sheets on Goku’s bed were crumpled, the pillows in disarray and the scent wafting weakly off of the bed erased what little room had been left for interpretation. As it should have been expected, the faint sound of running water came through from underneath the bathroom door. Yamcha knocked, calling out loudly over the noise. “Hey, Goku, It’s me. I just came back to pack my bag. But I still have to get some stuff from the bathroom.” “Uhhhh… Can it w- uh… can it wait?” That made Yamcha smirk even wider. The alarm in his friend’s tone was proof enough to confirm his suspicions once and for all. Goku had never been shy about his nudity. He must have been in pretty rough shape… But the man had also just won a martial arts tournament, so Yamcha thought it wise to let his hand draw away from the door handle. The teasing would have had to wait. “Sure. Just make sure to bring my stuff down”, he let him know on his way out, showing his back over his shoulder, “We’re all meeting up in the lobby later. Check out is in thirty minutes. Don’t forget!” He left the room as merrily as he’d walked in. He couldn’t wait to tell Bulma what he’d just found out. Inside the bathroom, Goku was standing still under running water, pricking his ears. “I think he’s gone”, he finally let out in a sigh. “Good”, his lover hissed, irritated. The tiles of the hotel shower were hard on his knees. “Let’s make these thirty minutes count.” Goku stifled a groan. Vegeta's head had promptly sunk down and the two of them had resumed where they’d left off. Lucky circumstance indeed, that Goku hadn’t wanted to shower the night before, or Yamcha would have walked in on his friend writhing against his rival’s generous mouth.

“You know, waiting you directly at the train station like we’d agreed would have saved me a lot of trouble. What is so exciting that you wanted me to come all the way here for?”, Bulma complained, fanning herself with a hand. She’d received a cryptic text from Yamcha, summoning her to the hotel where he was staying quite urgently. He’d refused to tell her why. She’d had to walk quite fast to get there in time. The effects of her morning showers had already been defeated by the heat and the rush. Instead of smelling like her delicate, lily-of-the-valley shower gel, she was now sweaty, sticky and slightly out of breath -and patience, at the sight of her boyfriend looking childishly expectant when he saw her. “So, where’s the fire?”, she inquired, already unimpressed by the seeming lack of anything remotely interesting happening in the hotel lobby. “No fire. At least, not now. But some sparks definitely flew yesterday night”, Yamcha reported, leaning close, animated and conspirational like a teenage girl over some saucy gossip. For some reason, he looked and sounded very proud of himself. “Gosh, Yamaha, is this about last night? You know I was there, right? You better not had me come here just to-” “No no no, this is something better! Er- even better!”, he corrected himself, after catching his girlfriend’s glare. “How so?” “I saw the hottest chick when I was coming back to my room this morning. I swear, she was a vision. All ruffled and dark-haired and she had the skimpiest dress and a great pair of- Ouch!” “What part of this nonsense is supposed not to make me want to rip your face off, exactly?”, Bulma inquired in a venomous hiss, as she yanked her boyfriend by the ear, quite harshly, “Ugh, and you smell too! Weren’t you supposed to have plenty of time to shower?” “I was getting there!”, Yamcha complained, clasping his abused earlobe, “You see, this girl, she clearly looked like she had some fun the night before, right? And she got on the elevator on our floor. And, then, when I got to our room Goku was in the shower.” He paused, theatrically, waiting for a reaction. “… And?” Bulma wasn’t sure she’d understood where her boyfriend was trying to go with that absurd revelation. “Don’t you get it? Our good ol’ friend got lucky last night! With some stranger hottie!” Bulma seemed to consider the scenario for a moment. “That might not mean anything. Maybe she came from another room.” “Maybe. Maybe the mess on Goku’s sheets was just mayo, then. A whole jar of it-” “Ewww. Too much information!”, Bulma grimaced, swatting the air before her eyes as if to disperse the disturbing visual that had just been conjured up in her mind. “You see my point now? Goku definitely scored last night.” “Why on earth did you think I needed to know that? Or call me all the way here, for that matter.” “So that we could both be here for this moment.” “And what moment would that be?” “Oh, you know. It’s a very special moment in a boy’s life…” “Oh, please! This is not his first time.” Bulma’s remark sounded just a touch too knowing for Yamcha’s taste. This time it was his turn to frown. “Just what makes you sound so sure about it?” He’d always known Bulma had had a crush on their mutual friend. It had gone unspoken, but it had been clear as day for years. Bulma was the kind of girl who’s very open with her feelings and very direct with what she wants. Uncharacteristically, she’d never really come on to Goku -probably because she saw him  more as a little brother than anything else- but she’d never bothered to hide the way she looked at him, at times, when she felt significantly less sisterly towards him. Goku being younger, buffer and stronger than him, this crush of hers, albeit insignificant, never failed to make Yamcha feel insecure and, consequently, jealous. “Get your mind out of the gutter, stupid, it wasn’t me!”, Bulma retorted, returning the indignant frown, “I just happen to know some things.” “And you never thought to share this knowledge? I thought he was a virgin all this time”, Yamcha carried on, his sensibilities now upset by her secrecy. “Would that have been important to know, for your friendship? That he isn’t a virgin?” Bulma was visibly annoyed. That was yet another sore spot in Yamcha’s pride, and a strain their relationship: Bulma had been Yamcha’s first, but not the other way round. “Well, no- not really, I’m just saying…” “I swear I will never get you boys and your inferior logic”, Bulma sighed, rolling her eyes. In that moment, Master Roshi made his appearance, looking a lot merrier than someone who should be suffering quite a grandiose hangover. “Morning, lovebirds! Had fun last night?”, he inquired, eyeing the young couple ever so significantly. Bulma scoffed, turning her head the other way. She found herself wondering why she still hung around that old sleaze. “Master, I absolutely need to tell you about this chick I saw last night on the elevator”, Yamcha approached his master, grateful for the distraction and hopeful that he of all people would have been positively receptive of his story. He was halfway through describing said chick when Goku finally got down to the lobby. Yamcha turned to him as soon as he caught a glimpse of his signature orange sweater, ready to grill him about every raunchy detail with a toothy grin on his lips… A grin that died as soon as he laid eyes on the shorter, darker figure that walked behind him. “Hey guys, sorry I’m late!”, the young man greeted them as if there was nothing unusual about the situation, “Here, Yamcha, this is the stuff you left in the bathroom.” “Thanks, man”, he replied, drily. He eyed Bulma and saw his same confusion reflecting on her features. “We’re off to the station now. We’re running a bit late and Bulma has to buy her ticket, so…” “Oh, don’t worry, she can have mine”, Goku helpfully offered, fishing the piece of paper from his bag. “I won’t need it?” “Sorry, what?” The weider the situation got, the wider Yamcha’s eyes became. It was clear nobody was gonna address the elephant in the room, who was currently waiting a few steps away, burly arms crossed over the sculpted chest and an annoyed look on his face that was clearly directed at their group, despite facing in another direction. “I decided I’m not going back home just yet”, Goku said, simply, as if that explained anything at all, “I’ll see you soon at training as soon as I do come back. Have a safe trip!” “W-wait! So… where are you going?”, Yamcha stopped him as his friend started walking towards the entrance. “Dunno”, was the disarming -yet, frankly, not unexpected- reply. Equally disarming and less expected, was the expectant look the young man shot behind his shoulder. “To get breakfast”, the older man informed, heading for the entrance himself, “Before you get whiny.” “How does he know that about Goku? Since where those two hang out together without breaking each other's bones?”, Bulma whispered in her boyfriend’s ear, staring at the odd couple as they walked off together. Yamcha slowly shook his head. He’d barely registered what his girlfriend had said. His mind was too busy processing the stinging feeling that his nose had picked up a hint of the same pine-tree shower gel wafting off both men. Or maybe it had just been his imagination. “You don’t think they got into a fight?”, Bulma continued, “I thought I saw some bruises on Vegeta.” “Maybe. Or maybe he was the one that got lucky last night”, Yamcha wondered out loud, trying to remember seeing the man in their hotel at any point during their stay. “With the dark-haired hottie from last night you were telling me about earlier?”, Master Roshi butted in, “Like hell he did!” “What makes you so sure?” “Because I did.” “What?”, Bulma let out, slightly horrified. “How?”, Yamcha asked, not unimpressed, despite himself, “Goku and I were with you all evening and walked you to the hotel!” “Picked her up at the hotel bar. Took only a couple extra drinks too”, the old man gloated, toddling proudly ahead of them, “This old grandpa still got it!”