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songmingisthighs · 3 years

Text

Hooked

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

ch. xxxi - countryside orgy

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??? × reader, ateez × reader

tw : smut, (I don't wanna say this but) orgy, unprotected sex, a bunch of sexual activities that I can't even describe because what the fuck am I doing

A freshman hookup rekindled into something new. With an incentive, of course. But what would happen if your 'relationship' led you somewhere you never thought would happen to you ?

a/n : buckle up, it's gon' be a long one like 5.7k-ish

After lunch, you all spent the afternoon at the beach together. Mostly running around like children and taking pictures.

When the sun sets, you all returned to the villa, tired from the activities done when the sun was still up in the sky but still wanting to do something fun.

For some reason, all nine of you ended up sitting around in a circle in the living room playing truth or dare like a bunch of high school children at a party. Not only that but whichever one of you managed to sneakily incorporate alcohol into the game should be questioned on their intention.

"Okay, okay, okay," Yunho cut off the laughter, trying to get everyone's attention to him, "I got a good one," he smirked. He took a swig from his beer before snapping his head to you, "(Y/N)," he started in a faux menacing tone, "truth or dare?" he asked.

The alcohol in your system rendered you incapable of feeling anxious on the oncoming question or dare. Without thinking twice, you made your choice, "DARE!" you exclaimed, rather too loudly which made Seonghwa, who was seated next to you, chuckle at how cute you're being.

"I dare you to tell us what in the actual fuckity fuck did that crap weasel Jung Wooyoung used to blackmail you? Like damn, you're one of the nicest girls on campus, I honestly can't think of anything bad that he'd be able to use to force you into being his fake girlfriend," he asked.

You scrunched your nose at the dare, not really expecting his intoxicated mind to be able to remember about Wooyoung blackmailing you. But then again, a dare's a dare and you don't really have anything against letting all of them in on the secret you and Wooyoung had had for a while.

"Okay," you took a swig of encouragement from your glass of beer before putting it down and preparing yourself to tell them. "The blackmail material was about someone that Wooyoung knows and it has something to do with arts and crafts," you slyly said.

All of them, except the ones who know which are you, Wooyoung, San, Mingi, and Jongho, had a look of utter confusion and dumbfoundedness that you actually burst out giggling at how they looked.

"Hey, no fair! That's cheating!" Yunho whined, throwing a cushion from the couch at you, to which you barely dodged as it bounced off of you onto the floor. Soon the others followed in on protesting at how unfair you're being.

You held your hands up in mock surrender, "okay, okay! sorry! I'll tell you," you giggled out, "Wooyoung found my binder the day I went to building F because Mingi had somehow managed to get himself lost there," "guilty," Mingi cut you off, grinning innocently. "Anywho, he snooped and San told him it's mine because he knows me from this freshman year class we took together, long story short Wooyoung told me that he'll release the content of the binder if I don't agree to help him out," you shrugged.

Seonghwa reached across to smack Wooyoung square upside the head, making the latter groan in pain at the sudden impact. "Okay, but what's the content of the binder?" Yunho whined out again, still curious. You sighed in defeat, knowing that he's not gonna drop the matter anytime soon, "It was... A collage, of some sort," "a pretty artsy one at that, might I add," San cut off, raising his beer at you in respect, "a collage of...?" Jongho urged with a smug smirk, making you shot a glare at him, "of Yeosang, okay? I used the pictures of him that I took back from the campus life photo shoot to make a pretty, emo skater-boy aesthetic collage," you grumbled.

Yeosang's eyes widened as big as they could get at your revelation. Yunho and Hongjoong were laughing while clapping their hands in pure amusement, meanwhile, Seonghwa was biting his lips tightly, trying to hold in his laughter at your expense. Wooyoung, Mingi, and Jongho on the other hand were snickering at how shocked the others were, especially Yeosang since he couldn't seem to avert his bulging eyes from you.

The whole thing made you whine in protest. San, who was seated next to you, pulled you into a comforting hug, patting your head and cooing in your ears

After a while, all nine of you were starting to feel the buzz of the alcohol in your bloodstream. It would appear that all of your inhibitions are lowered and the game had taken a dirty turn.

Jongho was stripped down to his boxers, Yeosang had somehow been dared into putting on one of your panties, Seonghwa was still regretting telling his most recent sex dream which involved you and three tubes of whipped cream and ending with the boys cleaning after his mess, Mingi was still recovering from prank calling his asshole former RA with fake sex sounds made together with Wooyoung, and Yunho is currently swaying his hips in an effort to write out his name with his butt, the sight was hilarious and Wooyoung leaving a loud and hard spank to his ass was the perfect way to end his dare. The only one seemingly unbothered was Hongjoong, he had no issue telling how he ended up being a camgirl's extra.

Now it's back to your turn. Out of randomness, you picked truth and almost immediately after you blurt the word out, Yeosang threw you a question with a smirk on his face, "How many of us have you slept with?"

As soon as he asked it, everyone snaps their heads to you, almost as if cornering you. With the help of alcohol, you simply shrugged and answer him, "literally everyone except San and Yunho," the two boys mentioned had their jaws dropped, "Wait, so out of everyone here, we are the only ones left???" San asked in disbelief.

You smirked at him, leaning your face close to his, "yeah, jealous?" it was obvious that the alcohol had made you slightly braver, and it's affecting San. His attention drops to your lips and his tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip. "Depends, what are you gonna do about it?"

It would appear that the alcohol had not only affected you but also the other boys as well. Because as soon as you taunt him, San pulled you to his lap and began kissing you hungrily. You couldn't help but wind your arms around his neck to pull him closer, wanting to feel him against you whilst you both made out in front of everyone. Whilst you busied yourself with San, the others were watching you two with a look of shock, amusement, and flustered.

You detach yourself momentarily from San, making him whine as he tried chasing your lips with his. But it was futile as you grip the back of his hair and pull his head back, emitting a low groan that almost sounds like a growl from him.

"Whose turn is it?" you asked to the room, eyes not leaving San's lust-filled expression. Someone cleared their throat behind you, piping up to answer your question, "I-I think it's Jongho's turn," the voice said. You later identified the voice to be Seonghwa's.

"Okay, Jongho," you called out, breaking said man's trance to focus on you. Your hands began cupping San's face, your thumbs tugging at his bottom lip as you feel his hips starting to grind on you.

"I dare you to dare me to make San and Yunho cum," you smirked, eyes flitting towards Yunho who is two people away from you. Initially, he looked surprised, but when his eyes met yours, he smirked before beginning to crawl to where you and San are.

Sensing your plan, Jongho chuckled and obliged, "of course, (Y/N), I accept your dare of daring me to dare you to make San and Yunho cum," he said.

It was all it took before you began grinding on San back with more ferocity, hips flush against his that he was able to feel the heat from your pussy even through your underwear and shorts.

Yunho situated himself next to you, his hands pulling you towards him to connect your lips together in a messy kiss. You were trying to balance giving both boys the same attention, so as your hips work on San, your hand reach down to firmly cup Yunho through his pants.

The others were enjoying the show you put on. They too started to feel aroused, some were even thinking about if they were in either Yunho or San's positions.

You suddenly halted your movements on them to stand up. Your crotch is now in direct eye level with San, making him gulp while Yunho stared at your ass in pure fascination.

Without saying much, you unbuttoned your pants and let them drop to the floor as you throw your shirt off. You could've sworn one of the boys watching (most likely Wooyoung) gasped loudly at the sight of your body only covered in a flimsy two-piece bikini that you had put in case the boys wanted to play in the water.

"Shit that's dangerous," Jongho moaned from behind you. You felt that single comment boosted your ego through the roof. You eyed both Yunho and San momentarily, tilting your head to the side as if you were thinking. Your pointer fingers circled in the air in their direction, "take 'em off please, boys," you demanded.

Not even needing a second, both Yunho and San immediately stood up to strip nude. Both showcasing different yet equally pretty cocks, and you just know what you want with them.

Your hands found their way to push San back down to a sitting position. As he lowered himself down, you situated yourself back onto his lap, dropping your crotch directly on his bare cock, only having a thin barrier between you both. Once situated comfortably on San's lap, you began grinding on him hard again while motioning for Yunho to come closer to you. As San moaned at the feeling of your hot pussy rubbing itself on his bare cock, you grip Yunho's cock and began licking at his tip.

"Damn, she's greedy," Yeosang moaned from behind you. You couldn't see the other six boys, but from the sounds you heard, you're pretty sure they're touching themselves.

Yunho moaned loudly when you began taking him in slowly inch by inch until you can feel him at the back of your throat. But even then, there's some of him left that you couldn't fit in your mouth. As you began sucking Yunho off while simultaneously swivelling your crotch on San's, San sneakily managed to untie the knot of your bikini top and latched his lips to your chest. You gasped softly on Yunho's cock when you felt San's tongue running along your chest and around one nipple before grazing his teeth on it, making you squeal. The vibration of your voice shot straight to Yunho's dick, making him groan.

The sight of you on top of San whilst still focused on sucking him off made Yunho unconsciously buck into your mouth. You had one hand on San's shoulder for balance as the other was anchored on Yunho's hip, your fingers would ever so often graze against the underside of his cock and on his balls.

It didn't take long for both of them to feel like they're on the edge, and you knew it too. How could you not? San had tightened his grip around you with his face still buried in your chest and his hips thrusting onto you hard, the feeling of his cock brushing against your clit was amazing. Yunho had gripped onto your head as he began thrusting into your mouth, using it to chase himself over the edge.

Out of the two of them, San was the first to cum. He shuddered and bit on the skin of your boob as his cock let out streams of white cum, painting both your stomachs. You could feel San's hot cum trickling down your stomach. You detach your mouth from Yunho's cock for a bit, using your hand to pump him instead as the hand that was on San's shoulder reached down to your stomach to scoop some of the cum into your mouth before pressing your mouth to San so you both could taste him.

The visual drove Yunho over the edge as his hips stuttered and he came on the side of your neck and onto your chest. The sudden impact made you gasp and push San slightly away to see what had just happened.

Your eyes widened at Yunho's cum that's now prettily decorating your chest, along with San's cum that's starting to drop to the floor beneath.

Luckily, Yunho was quick to take the box of tissue nearby and he and San began cleaning you up from their cum.

Once cleaned up, you stood yourself up from your previous position and turn to look at the other boys. You smirked at the sight of them palming themselves whereas Wooyoung and Mingi just blatantly whip their cocks out to touch themselves.

Seeing that you're already too far in anyways, you pull your bikini top off and pouted at them, "I didn't get to cum, can someone please help me?" you said in a faux defeated tone.

Honjoong was the first to spoke up, "are you sure you can continue, baby? You had just taken two men," he said. You rolled your eyes playfully at him, "of course I can! I can take three of you at the same time," you answered.

Seonghwa, Hongjoong, Yeosang, Mingi, Wooyoung, and Jongho began eyeing each other. You could see the wheels in their heads turning as if devising a plan on how to take you.

The first one to move forward was Jongho. He stood up and walk towards you. His hands moved to palm your breasts and began massaging them slowly, "prove it then, take me, Seonghwa hyung, and Joong hyung at the same time," he smirked cockily. He momentarily looked back towards the two eldest and nodded his head to the side, motioning them to come and help him take care of you.

In a blink of an eye, the one pair of hands turned to three before you could realize anything. Hongjoong pulled your bikini bottoms off before throwing them on Wooyoung's lap, "go help yourself," he ordered to which Wooyoung obliged by wrapping the item around his cock before resuming to pump himself. Seonghwa carefully manoeuvred you into a kneeling position on the floor before situating himself in front of you, he cupped your face gently and peck your lips softly before positioning himself at your entrance, "you ready?" he asked sweetly.

You hadn't even realized that Jongho had situated himself behind you and Hongjoong standing at your side. Jongho sweep your hair to the side, uncovering one of your ears so he could speak directly next to it, "we don't have lube with us, so this might hurt a little, but you can always tap out, okay?" he said, leaving a peck on your cheek as he presses the head of his cock on your rim.

You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the impact from two out of three of them. Hongjoong knelt down next to you to connect both of your lips together. When you were distracted with Hongjoong, Seonghwa and Jongho began pushing themselves into you. You groaned at the sudden intrusion. It wasn't uncomfortable, but you weren't used to being filled like that. You grip onto Seonghwa's shoulders tightly while he caresses your hips, trying to coax you into relaxing more. Hongjoong's lips moved down to suck spots around your collarbone and chest, trying to distract you.

"Baby, damn, you're so tight here," Jongho groaned when he's fully sheathed in you from behind, his hands massaging your ass in an effort to make it feel better.

"Well gee, Ho, I don't usually do anal with any of you," you muttered, starting to get used to the feeling of having two cocks inside you. You tap on Seonghwa's cheek with your pointer finger, signalling for him to move first.

Seonghwa started to thrust up into you slowly. His cock sliding in and out of you combined with the fullness in your ass from Jongho's cock and Hongjoong's lips sucking marks along your collarbone made you sigh shakily and drop your head back onto Jongho's shoulder.

When he felt like you're relaxed enough and distracted with Seonghwa's thrusts, Jongho experimentally pulls slightly out before pushing back in once. When his hips slammed onto your ass, you felt your breath got knocked out of your lungs, but you didn't feel uncomfortable at all.

Taking your lack of protest as a good sign, Jongho began building up his own rhythm. He matched his thrusts with Seonghwa's. So when Seonghwa pulled out, he was thrusting in, making sure you're never left empty.

Both Seonghwa and Jongho were preoccupying you too much that Hongjoong had felt slightly neglected. He got onto his feet and grab his cock, poking it to your cheek with a pout on his face.

His expression made you giggle because who would've thought drunken, horny Hongjoong is whiny and needy?

Nevertheless, you open your mouth so he could slide his cock in. His cock isn't as big as Yunho and it fits rather nicely in your mouth. It didn't take long for you to start deepthroating him, occasionally letting your teeth graze against his cock that caused a low rumble from his throat.

Seeing your newfound attention, Seonghwa decided to be a little shit and tease you.

"Look at you, so pretty like this," he mockingly said. His hands that were situated on your waist moved to your chest, he caressed the underside of your boobs initially, but his fingers slowly started tweaking at your nipples, "you like having your holes filled, don't you? Having us use you however we like," he growled, fingers pinching at your nipples harshly.

The pain from your nipples shot through to your core, both Seonghwa and Jongho felt you clench at it. Your mouth hung open as a gasp escape you, Hongjoong's cock slipping out of your mouth momentarily.

The man was not pleased when your lips lost contact with his dick. He glared at Seonghwa and reach to yank at his hair, forcing Seonghwa to look at him.

"You better stop that or else you'd be the one sucking my dick," he threatened. In return, Seonghwa only chuckled mockingly, darting his tongue out to lick at his lips mockingly, "you'd like that, wouldn't you? You freak," the older teased.

Jongho leaned forward and hook his arms around yours securely, assuring that you wouldn't be able to move, "you think they'd realize if I slip you off of Hwa hyung and just fuck you myself?" he asked, making you giggle.

But your giggle was cut off when Seonghwa and Hongjoong averted their gaze towards the youngest male. They both promptly return to their tasks. After promptly shoving his dick back in your mouth, Hongjoong and Seonghwa started a new pace, much faster and much harsher than before.

You nearly toppled back onto Jongho, but thankfully he had a firm grip on you. As if not wanting to lose to the two eldest, Jongho began thrusting faster into you, making sure your ass smack against his hip bones repeatedly.

The only sounds that could be heard were words of encouragement from the boys watching, skin slapping, three moans, and one muffled one.

As the three thrust into you carelessly, using use as a mere item for them to chase their orgasm, you suddenly felt overwhelmed. With Seonghwa brushing his tip against your g spot, Jongho rubbing his sweaty skin on you and letting his thick cock fill you up beyond your imagination, and the lack of air that was caused by the blockage Hongjoong caused in your mouth, you toppled over the edge.

Your body tensed up, fingers curling on Seonghwa's shoulder to grip him tightly and your mouth gape out as a choked moan escapes you.

Instead of letting your orgasm ebb, neither one of the three stopped what they were previously doing. Moreover, they seem to be at it more than before. The rhythm of their thrusts became sloppy and uncoordinated. Your fucked out expression only egged them to cum even further, wanting to feel the ecstasy you're currently feeling. You could swear Hongjoong could see his dick bulging out from your throat and that Seonghwa and Jongho could feel each other's dicks rubbing inside you.

Jongho pulled out and came first, opting to shoot his load on your back and your ass than inside you. You groaned when feeling his hot cum on your ass and the man behind you made it his mission to make things messy as he spread his cum down to your ass and to your pussy hole so that his and Seonghwa's cum would mix together. You could actually hear Jongho snickering at the back, amused with himself.

Next thing you know, Hongjoong's hips stuttered and he came down your throat. Though still going through your own high, you swallow Hongjoong's load and keep sucking him to prolong his climax.

Seonghwa's eyes darkened even more at the sight of you so greedily swallowing Hongjoong's cum so easily.

"You're a greedy cumslut, aren't you? Made for nothing other than good dicking and taking cum, if that's what you want, then take it," he said before letting one, two, three, four more harsh thrusts before letting his head drop to your shoulder, lips pressing on his skin as he unloads inside you.

Never have you felt dirtier yet satisfied beyond anything after sex. Sure you've taken two brutes at the same time before (re : Mingi and Jongho), but apparently, three is your new limit.

Whilst the four of you were taking your breath, Jongho was smacked to the side by Mingi using the tissue box.

"You just had to make a mess, don't you?" he grumbled as he drops to his knees behind you and letting his hands carefully cleaned you off. However, you couldn't help but shudder when his hand reached between your legs to wipe the dripping cum off. Mingi smirked smugly at your reaction, "tingly down there, baby?" he teased, pressing a kiss down at the back of your neck.

"Don't tease," you whined, letting your body fell slightly backwards on Mingi's body. As the man behind you wraps his arms around your waist, you could see Wooyoung standing up from his position on the floor to walk towards you. He was stopped merely a couple steps in by Yunho who nudged his head towards Yeosang's direction, "might wanna let Yeosang go first, man looked like a ticking time bomb," he snickered. "You mean a ticking cum bomb," San retorted from the couch, hand stroking his erect cock even after cumming previously. "Damn it, it was right there," Yunho grumbled.

You flit your gaze Yeosang and true to what Yunho said, he had forgotten about his initial shyness. His cock was out in the open air, exposed by the pants that he had pushed carelessly down just enough, tip angry red and it looked so hard you think it must hurt.

Without wasting another second, you stood up and skip over to Yeosang. You drop yourself between his legs, adorning a goofy grin on your face, "can I help you with that?" you asked, eyes dropping to the problem between his legs.

Normally, he'd blush so hard if someone said that to him. But for some reason, he just found you adorable. He chuckled at you, lifting two fingers in a come-hither motion, "gimme a kiss first," he said. You squealed at his confidence but jump upwards to crash your lips with his in a playful kiss.

Lips busy, you sneakily drop your hand down to take Yeosang fully in your hand. Once your hand made contact with his cock and squeezing it softly, he gasped into your mouth.

You detached your lips so you'd be able to look down. You couldn't help but giggle at the sight before you.

"Red lace looks great on you, Sangie," you teased. Yeosang looked down and groan when he realized what you meant. He was so horny that he forgot he was wearing your panties for the dare.

"Jung fucking Yunho," he grumbled, dropping his head back onto the couch in embarrassment.

Still giggling, you lower yourself to press your chest against his hard dick. When Yeosang felt his cock pressed onto something soft, he whipped his head back up and nearly bulged his eyes out at the sight of you rubbing your chest on his dick.

"Do you think you can cum with my boobs, Sangie?" you titled your head at him. The stark difference between the innocent expression on your face and the lewd action you're doing made his dick twitch.

"Try me," he challenged.

Raising an eyebrow at him, you began squeezing your boobs around his dick and move your chest up and down on him. The skin of your chest was colder compared to his hot dick, it felt kind of nice.

Considering how hard and worked up he was, you think it wouldn't take him long to cum. So you work yourself so that Yeosang could reach his peak soon. Poor guy must've been wanting to cum so bad.

As you're preoccupied with Yeosang, Mingi took the opportunity of your ass jutting out to slip himself into your pussy in one swift thrust. Thank god you're still wet from previous ministrations.

The sudden impact halted your tit-fucking on Yeosang. You whimpered slightly when Mingi decided to stay still after waiting for him to move.

"No, no, princess, you're gonna make Yeosangie there cum with my dick in you," he said. You could hear the smugness dripping from his voice. He leaned forward to lick a stripe from the middle of your back to your neck, "so you better not move much if you don't want daddy to punish you," he growled next to your ear.

"Oh shit, Mingi's straight-up cruel, isn't he?" Wooyoung muttered to Seonghwa, who was equally shocked at the sight in front of him. Jongho piped in from the side, "nah, he just love taming (Y/N),"

Initially, you thought tit-fucking Yeosang would be an easy thing. But with the additional interruption inside you, you can't seem to focus. On one hand, you want to make Yeosang cum on your chest. But on the other hand, you think having Mingi fuck you would be amazing.

But you're determined. You tried not thinking about how Mingi's dick is filling you up nicely and to just focus on letting Yeosang's dick thrust in between your tits, having your tongue graze against his tip every time it came to view.

Slowly, Yeosang started to thrust himself onto you. You adjusted your rhythm to his, making sure that when he thrust himself up, you're pushing your boobs down on him. Soon enough you started to get used to Mingi's cock filling you and just focus on making Yeosang cum.

With increasing speed, you encouraged Yeosang to cum. Egging him to the edge. At one point, you even spat down onto his cock to make him move better as if your boobs hadn't already been covered in his precum.

Yeosang is different from the others. Whilst the others have telltale signs of them cumming through their faltering movements, Yeosang kept a steady pace. He'd increase his speed from time to time and his face would scrunch in concentration.

"Come on Sangie, I want your cum," you whimpered at him. His eyes met yours, focusing on the way you're looking at him. Eyes batted and lips pouted, proving that you're really begging for him to cum on you.

"Yeosangie, please," you moaned out. He inhaled sharply at your voice, knowing that he's just about to cum.

"F-fuck, (Y/N), w-where do you want me?" he uttered out in pants.

"Cum on my chest, Sangie, please," you begged.

As soon as his brain processed your begs, he spurted out ropes of milky white cum to your chest, some of it even splattered on your chin and neck.

You were about to compliment him when all of a sudden, Mingi pulled you flush into his lap and turned you both around so his back is rested on the couch behind him.

Wooyoung appeared before your eyes out of nowhere, hand still on his cock that's wrapped in your bikini bottom. He had a teasing smirk on his face as he pumps slowly, "our turn," he sing-songed.

Without even waiting for you to react, Mingi's arms wrapped around your waist and began thrusting himself.

"Ah!" you yelped, surprised at the suddenness. But Mingi didn't care as he only presses his forehead onto your shoulder and thrust at an animalistic speed. Your eyes focused on Wooyoung and how he's staring directly at your pussy while his hands move on his dick quickly to match Mingi's thrusting pace.

You licked your lips at how needy Wooyoung is. So who are you to deprive the man of what he needs?

Carefully, so that you wouldn't disturb Mingi, you hook both of your legs around his longer one's, making sure that Wooyoung could get a better view of how Mingi's moving into you.

Wooyoung's eyes bulged out at the new visual. Your glistening pussy practically sucking all of Mingi so greedily, pulsing with need, pink bordering on red from the way it's been used, and still slightly leaking the cum that Seonghwa had left inside you, not to mention your chest still has what Yeosang left on you. His hands initially faltered in surprise, but when his eyes met your encouraging ones, he scooted closer to you and began pumping harder and faster. How did he not get hand cramps yet is a mystery.

Mingi seemed to notice Wooyoung moving closer to the both of you. It was then when he noticed your legs had spread wider for Wooyoung to see and you're now enjoying how he's fucking into you.

He chuckled in amusement, feeling somewhat proud. "You're a considerate little princess, aren't you?" his voice rumbled deeply next to your ear, making you blush. You hadn't even realized one of his hands snaked to between your legs until it suddenly smacks your pussy loudly.

The others who were watching jumped slightly at the sound. One of them definitely whimpered either from the sound or from how your pussy is now a shade darker.

Mingi is now determined to make you lose control. Something deep in him convinced himself that even though the others had had their way with you, HE'S the only one who knows your body best and how to control it, bend it to his will.

With the determination set, his hips set to a steady pace and his hand rub at your clit in harsh circles, the lubrication of your juice and his precum (along with Seonghwa's leftover cum that he wouldn't admit) made it easier for him to pleasure you.

You let out a loud squeal at the newfound pleasure. Your chest arching high from Mingi's and your eyes scrunching close. If it weren't for Mingi's arms anchoring you, you'd surely topple forward and smack yourself onto Wooyoung's dick, face first. Although, that wouldn't be the worst way to fall over.

Wooyoung licks his lips when he saw the outline of Mingi's cock through your stomach, thinking how you must be so tight and small for Mingi's cock to be able to do that. Not that he think it's a competition, but he's pretty confident in his own size and girth.

Currently you're a moaning mess. Hands groping onto your chest for anchor and toes curling. The pleasure had become overwhelming. You don't know if it's the buildup of multiple sexual activities or the fact that you had only cum once whereas you had managed to make six out of eight men cum in and on you.

Mid-thought, you felt something inside you snap and you let out the most pornographic moan you can muster as you squirted on the floor, Mingi's legs, and onto Wooyoung.

Other than Mingi and Wooyoung, the room felt like it had been frozen in time. Six pairs of eyes watched with disbelief at what had just happened in front of them.

"Shit, she never squirted before," Jongho choked out, making the other five pairs of eyes divert to him.

"Oh fuck, that's the hottest thing I've ever seen," Wooyoung grunted. He promptly moves himself to be directly in front of you. He let your bikini bottom drop to the floor so that his bare hand would pump himself instead.

The way you're currently being overstimulated by Mingi's ever-thrusting dick sets him off immediately.

As if synced, when Wooyoung's cum hit your stomach, Mingi also released himself in you, mixing your essence and him together whilst still thrusting to ride his orgasm off.

When Mingi finally stopped thrusting, you could feel fatigue wash over you and your legs lost all its strength. All you could do is slump against Mingi as he caresses your thighs lovingly, whispering "good job"s into your ear.

Silence washed over the room as everyone calms themselves down from the event that had just unfold. No one was regretting anything, it's more like wonder. How one second you were all playing truth or dare and suddenly they're all fucking the girl who's supposed to be Wooyoung's fake girlfriend.

You were bordering on falling asleep when you suddenly felt your body being lifted up into familiar arms.

"I'll take her up and clean her, mind cleaning up?" Mingi asked towards the rest of them as he stood up to get you to your shared room.

The last thing you heard before closing your eyes were the other seven agreeing to clean up. The smell of sex was still thick in the air, while it would've been disgusting to your normal self, right now it just set your brain to immediately sleep.

"Rest up, princess, we'll take care of you," Mingi chuckled, pulling you closer into his chest as he walked up the stairs.

You didn't know why Mingi said 'we' instead of 'I'. But it felt nice.

It felt right.

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@raysanshine @peachy-maia @xuxiable @90s-belladonna @theclawofaraven @rae-baby @sungiehan @felix-kithes @nycol-ie @superstarw99 @skkrtnawrskkrt @viv-atiny @the7thcrow @stfu-xeena @laurademaury @multihoe-net @daisyhwa @scoupshushushu @whyisquill @bikiniholic @yunhorights @exfolitae @simplewonderland @verycooldog2 @perfectlysane24 @hannahdinse8 @tannie13@aka-minhyuk-kun @phebeedee @sweetlikeh0n3y @marsophilia @donghyuckanti27 @se-onghwa @malewife-supremacy @hyunsukream

okay, @rae-baby , where are you?? Why can't I tag you anymore ??

a/n : I called this chapter countryside orgy too much to the point that I changed it to countryside orgy from the original life's a beach. y'all fucking ruined me.

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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 4 years

Note

After reading your opinion on Molly Weasley, i want to know: What are you're opinions on the Weasley family? Besides Ron & Molly that is.

Five characters? In one post? Well, alright, here we go.

The Weasleys as a Whole

I’ve mentioned this before but JKR writes the Weasleys to clearly be a believable but ideal family. They’re all fiercely loyal, progressive per wizarding world standards, love each other and Harry deeply, and have this wonderful off-kilter joyous house where there’s always some rambunctious thing going on.

Harry comes to associate the Weasleys with family and, personally, I believe a large part of him marrying Ginny boils down to it will make him a Weasley for real.

That said, they’ve got some major issues. They’re very righteous people who, as a whole, will ice you out the moment they even suspect you do something that disagrees with them. You don’t even have to do it, what you did or didn’t do doesn’t even have to be something terrible or something bad, but god help you if the family decides they’re done with you.

They’re very resentful of people like the Malfoys. This isn’t just because Lucius is a smarmy, pompous, ass (he is) or that he indirectly almost murdered Ginny but seems to mostly be because Lucius has so much money. All of their interactions seem to boil down to the money. More than this though, the Weasleys seem fully supportive of laws that... well, used against themselves would be a travesty but used against the likes of the Malfoys it’s about damn time.

They’re unquestioningly loyal to Dumbledore. Granted, most people we see in canon are, Dumbledore’s very very very good at convincing people he’s a saint. However, these guys are practically his cult member to the point where they do things like refuse to have Harry over the summer, even before Voldemort returned, because Dumbledore told them not to.

They also never really adopt Harry into the family. Oh they give him a nice sweater, he comes over every once in a while to the house, he’s very good friends with Ron but he’s mostly treated just like that, a good friend. Now, there’s nothing wrong with this, except the way JKR sets it up we’re supposed to believe this is the family Harry found. It’s just that the family Harry’s found let’s him stay in a house with bars on his window where twelve-year-old Ron tells them, “Harry’s muggle family is really really awful” in a way that should have been raising red flags. Hermione practically lives at the Weasleys, Harry never does.

Now, are the Weasleys evil? No, far from it, they’re ordinary people who act in ways I’d expect ordinary people too. Technically they didn’t have to do anything more for Harry than they did, they didn’t have to hate Lucius Malfoy for better reasons, and they don’t have to be even slightly less worshipful of Dumbledore. They’re people, and they’re fine characters, but the overwhelming worship and love of the Weasleys we see across fandom does get on my nerves.

But you asked for individuals, so here we go.

Arthur Weasley

Arthur is the epitome of “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” in the worst of ways and is, frankly, a giant awful joke to me. He’s the white kid you see going around with dread locks, a beanie the color of the Jamaican flag, smoking weed, and attempting to speak like Bob Marley

Only, because he does it with muggle things, we’re supposed to find him funny and progressive.

Arthur is absolutely, albeit unwittingly, condescending in his love of muggle knickknacks. He has no idea how any of it actually works, not limited to how muggles could possible survive without the gold standard, but ardently believes he does because he can enchant the car to fly. Seriously, that he believes he’s an expert on muggle culture, as a pureblood wizard who heads an office in the ministry on it, is the worst part. His love of toasters comes across as, “Wow, look how cool it is that these poor little muggles made all this neat stuff. We should absolutely love the muggles because of it!” And that he heads an office in the ministry called “The Misuse of Muggle Artifacts” which is all about catching down Jackass style pranksters who think it would be hilarious of they enchanted toasters to bludgeon muggles to death...

Goddammit Arthur, why do you exist?

Right, otherwise, he’s got some pride issues going on. Part of the reason Percy is excommunicated is not so much that Percy doesn’t believe Harry, but because Percy dared to do better than Arthur in his own career. Arthur is stuck in his position as head of a joke of a department, he is an underling at its finest, and frankly likely only has that position because he’s a pureblood and the idea of putting a halfblood or even muggleborn at the head of a department dealing with muggles just made the higher ups shudder. (Don’t tell Arthur that though, he likes to think he’s not benefitting from nepotism).

Arthur goes so far to accuse Percy as Fudge’s secretary as spying on him. Arthur, the guy who heads “Misuse of Muggle Artifacts”. Yeah, Arthur, I’m sure Fudge is really wasting his time using his straight laced secretary to find out all your dirty secrets.

He also tends to see the world as very black and white. When Skeeter in book 4 writes an article after the Quidditch World Cup disaster complaining about the ministry’s lax security in enabling domestic terrorists to enter (something completely valid and true by the way) Arthur is so personally offended that both he and Percy go straight to the ministry to complain about Rita Skeeter and her daring to assume freedom of speech! HOW DARE SHE CALL THE MINISTRY’S NON-EXISTENT SECURITY AT THE WORLD CUP LAX! (To be fair, she also cited Arthur as having been in attendance at the event, a ministry employee, and having done nothing but, well, this is also true Arthur. You’re in a guerilla, underground, resistance movement. If I didn’t already think the Order was a joke this would kind of highlight it for me).

He’s also very resentful of Lucius Malfoy, and it seems to mostly be about the money. Arthur and Molly have a severe spending problem and actively resent that Lucius is swimming in money. That Arthur is ardently pleased about a law being passed in which the ministry without warrant can ransack Lucius Malfoy’s home...

Well, Arthur, imagine the slippery slope if the government decides that it would like to search the Weasley home without warrant? In fact, he doesn’t even have to imagine it, as the beloved government in a few short years turns against him and then it’s all about how corrupt the ministry is.

Arthur’s delightfully narrowminded, basically, and reminds us at nearly every opportunity.

Percy Weasley

Mostly, I just feel bad for Percy. Percy’s the son/brother that nobody likes and he’s painfully aware of that fact. He doesn’t fit in with the others, he has far too much ambition for the Gryffindor family and they resent him for it, and then he dares to say things like “I don’t know guys, Voldemort resurrecting from the dead after decades doesn’t sound plausible, we know Harry’s a little off kilter, and Dumbledore’s one shady dude”. Percy happens to be wrong about Voldemort resurrecting (and admits as much when the evidence is plainly visible), but he’s pretty on the money with the rest of it.

Regardless, growing up we see Ron constantly hating on Percy along with the rest of the siblings. I’m sure Percy is obnoxious, and certainly full of himself after making prefect and head boy, but he’s very clearly even before Order of the Phoenix the Least Favorite Brother (TM).

Then the Weasley family completely ices him out for a) getting a very high ranking position very quickly as Fudge’s secretary and b) not being gung ho about Dumbledore saying crazy things in the paper. Remember that to Percy Harry is Ron’s weird friend who seems to get into highly illegal activities every other week. From Percy’s point of view, it’s probably a matter of time before Harry becomes a crack head in Knockturn Alley (or given how behind the times wizards tend to be, an opium den).

He’s constantly getting Ron into not only trouble but life threatening situations, is erratic and apparently a parseltongue of all things, and now Harry’s flipped his lid and saying that Voldemort has been resurrected after having gone through a very traumatic experience of watching a classmate somehow die.

While we see Percy kind of (sort of) make up with the family it’s clear that for Percy to have any relation with these people he’s the one who will always, ALWAYS, have to come crawling back on his knees and begging for forgiveness. It’s the Weasley way or the highway and I imagine, at some point probably a little after/during that epilogue, Percy will just slowly drift away because it’s just not worth it anymore.

Percy’s very much the black sheep of the family.

Fred and George Weasley

You all are going to kill me, but I actually don’t care in the slightest about Fred and George Weasley. This is because they basically have no personality aside from “funny”.

They just have their weird, tandem, twin act and are either playing jokes on the school or else serving as Deus ex Machina in giving Harry magical items such as the Marauder’s Map for no apparent reason. The plot told them it was time, I guess.

Their jokes, while not as bad as Sirius and James’ “Let’s sexually harrass Severus Snape by pantsing and beating him at the edge of Hogwarts lake” or Sirius’ “Let’s get Snape eaten by a werewolf!” are still often needlessly cruel and... kind of pointless. They harass Slytherin house constantly just because they happen to be Slytherins, they’re acceptable victims (which of course makes house tension that much worse). Harry gets sent a toilet seat in the hospital because... that’s funny? Har de har?

They’re so indistinguishable from one another I routinely see people mistake which one got his ear chopped off and which one died. Because the point is, that we can’t tell the difference! It doesn’t matter who lived and who died because all we know is that Freorge is dead!

Similarly, you see tons of fics around where character of the day ends up in this weird twincestuous relationship with Fred and George and it’s not only for a) that delightful twincest but b) because they’re such a singular unit that any attempt to pair one with somebody else feels weird. So you just get these porn fics about Fred and George being weird rapey teenagers who seem like they’d be more interested dating each other.

Charlie Weasley

I really have no thoughts on Charlie. He raises dragons in Romania, the family loves him. Now, dragon raising feels like one of the most dangerous jobs in the Harry Potter universe, like Charlie had just gone and signed up to be a lumberjack but he seems to like it?

We really don’t see much of Charlie, he’s just the obligatory older Weasley son so that the Weasleys can be this ridiculously large family.

Bill Weasley

We see slightly more of Bill, but again, not enough to really leave an impression. We know that his marrying Fleur sent Molly into a complete state, and that they’re going to have awkward Christmas dinners forever because of it where Fleur just sits there and pretends not to loathe every second of Molly’s presence while Molly notes how bad it is that Victoire got stuck with that ugly pink hair instead of the Weasley red.

Bill doesn’t seem to really do anything about this. He still marries Fleur, but we don’t really see a major confrontation where he tells the family “Look, I’m marrying her, so grow up.” So, I imagine he just tries to smile pleasantly and tells Fleur to just endure it for another few hours. He loves his family, his family’s great, but they only have to see Fleur once a year at Christmas.

Ginny Weasley

Ginny is weird. She’s this weird, frankly, almost personality-less void whose sole obsession in life seems to be marrying Harry. She and Harry end up in the world’s weirdest relationship and I honestly have no idea how people ship it other than canon told them to.

Ginny’s... well, first off, she’s very much in love with an idea. She had always worshipped Harry Potter but then he personally saves her life in what was a horrifically traumatic year and so that feeling just grows even more. Despite being Ron’s sister, she barely seems to know Harry, and everything she seems to like about it are just things she made up.

I imagine her and Harry’s marriage will be littered with affairs on her end. Not divorce though, because Harry would never admit his wife is having affairs on him all the time even if someone directly confronted him. Harry also won’t admit he’s gay.

More than though we get hints of a personality. Ginny’s a fiery red-head tomboy with a temper. But... Well, it’s only ever hints. She never felt like a real person to me. She has I think one throwaway line about the Chamber of Secrets incident and how it personally affected her. We’re told she’s great at the bat boogey hex so we know she’s a fiery independent woman.

She feels more like a character sheet than an actual person.

Whenever she’s around I always had this nagging question in my head where I ask why Ginny’s here. She has a lot of potential but nothing’s ever done with her. And when something is, it’s to get her into this bizarre relationship with Harry where he imagines there’s a green rage monster in his chest that loves her skin.

Okay Harry, if you say so.

TL;DR: The Weasleys aren’t evil or anything, I’m not on Team Bash Them All, but they are shortsighted, ordinary, people who don’t deserve to be worshipped as all that is good in this world.

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watchinglikeafangirl · 4 years

Text

Lovely Writer episode 3 - analysis

The episode this week changed everything again. We see more of Nubsib's true colors and we see the two become closer. Nubsib is still pretending but his true personality is also showing here and there, Gene starts having thoughts and is confused how he feels about Nubsib. All in all, this week's episode had a lot of information and was even more fun to watch. Especially the scene, when they film "bad engineer" and the first meeting of the characters ending in a weird embrace filmed in slow motion. It was hilarious...

Honesty and no filter

I don't know if honesty is the right word here but I would say it kind of fits. Even though Nubsib is crossing many lines, Gene at least tells him immediately when he's uncomfortable. Especially in the scenes when his personal space is invaded which he is not used to. He lives with Nubsib but kissing him is a whole different thing. He is someone who is very closeted and only opens up to Nubsib because he learns that life doesn't happen in fantasies and books. But when Nubsib tries to kiss him in the second episode, puts his face aggressively closer to Gene's, Gene pulls away immediately. This shows that even though he might be an introvert who is living in his head very much, he is not shy in the way that he doesn't talk about any emotion. He felt very uncomfortable and told Nubsib immediately also because he feels that Nubsib would listen and back off, which he then did.

In this episode, we get a similar scene. Nubsib pushes Gene on the sofa in a very slow, dominant and erotic way and Gene is kind of okay until Nubsib is too close.

Right before the kiss, he's extremely uncomfortable and says that he is. Nubsib is really concerned and sorry about it and backs off immediately. You could also say about this scene that Gene was not really uncomfortable and just scared of his feelings towards Nubsib but I think, it was just their closeness. They only know each other and live together for three weeks and Gene opened up just yet. It would be out of character if he would have settled into a kiss or even a make-out.

Nubsib is his true self when he comforts Gene who is having a nightmare. There is no sound effect, just some music playing and this scene is very slow and calm. Nothing disturbing the peaceful moment of taking care and there is no rushing.

Defensiveness and hidden feelings

Like I said, and like we all know, Gene is an introvert which becomes very clear when we get to know that he is living alone in a condo that is too big for one person alone. Everything is chaotic and as soon as Nubsib moves in, it's very tidy and clean. But Gene is too scared to admit it. He's too scared to admit that he likes Nubsib's company. Nubsib knows he does and jokes around when he's trying to get a confession from Gene. Gene, completely confused why that kiss is stuck in his head, gets defensive whenever Nubsib flirts and teases him.

This difensiveness becomes more after Aey says "he seems to like you" which confuses Gene even more. He can't stop thinking about it and ends up throwing Nubsib out of his condo because he is too scared to admit it. To himself and to Nubsib. Gene is very inexperienced and insecure about romantic stuff, so he doesn't know if this feeling of tenderness is even real and if Nubsib is really honest with him. There is an awkwardness between them that reminds us that they don't know each other well and Gene would have to get to know Nubsib more in order to be okay with his feelings. Because now, Nubsib still is a total stranger. The insecurity in romantic things and feelings leads Gene to question the meaning behind every word Nubsib said to him and if they were even true. This growing friendship with a stranger and growing romantic feelings for him is too much for Gene and he feels like he won't be able to focus on writing any more. For him it's either living or writing and he chooses writing over everything and feels like he can't think straight.

His feelings which he can't name or distinguish make him get defensive whenever he feels Nubsib is playing around.

Pretending and unawareness

Nubsib gives us all the vibes of fakery in many scenes and we feel there's something breeding under his skin that will show its true colors at some point (and I think very soon). Gene gets that vibe too and that's why things get awkward between them sometimes when both suddenly turn quiet like they don't know what to say to each other which could be because both can't get rid of the picture of their kiss. I mean, both obviously think about it. Nubsib can't even kiss Aey for the scene and Gene can't focus on writing because of it.

Nubsib is the one pretending here. Especially on the sofa. He even says that he learned it "in a workshop" which means the way he is behaving is all inspired and copied from these acting workshops. And that adds depth to his character. He is inexperienced too. He acts like the typical dominant BL character but even says himself that he learned it from the workshop.

That means, he's also insecure but is very good in hiding it. Because he feels like being his true self when it comes to romantic stuff is not enough and that he has to cover those stereotypes in order to appeal as attractive. Especially because Gene wrote this kind of character in the novel himself. So, Nubsib thinks it's the right way to act and is too shy to be his real self which is very sad and thankfully doesn't work out that well when they are on the sofa. Gene gets uncomfortable and I guess a bit frightened by the now very dominant version of Nubsib.

I don't think Nubsib is aware of the effect the moments when he is his true self have on Gene. They are the moments when Gene likes him and falls for him, not the ones when he's pretending. As soon as the pretending stops, the sound effects stop as well and they are talking more natural and real.

Same goes for Gene. What I noticed this episode was that the moment Gene enters, the sound effects start. That means Gene is pretending too but not in such an obvious way and maybe not even on purpose. He backs out of every situation because he sacrificed his life to writing. Writing defines his whole day, social-life, sleeping-routine and health. But I think, deep down he wants to live a bit more. He pretends to be okay with the situation, with how his life is going, but he sees, now that Nubsib moved in, that his way of living covers up all the desires he himself has. Nubsib unlocked something in him, makes him see that life is not only in your condo and especially with other people. Gene sees that now and he'll get sad.

Criticism and jokes

This show criticizes many different aspects. Basically everything of the BL industry is being criticized.

Mostly the charcters don't stand up for themselves when they are feeling uncomfortable. The scene on the sofa was definetely too intense and Gene didn't like it at all. I was already turning my eyes because I was just like 'not one of those scenes' but surprisingly the scene didn't go the way I thought. In many shows this would've gone in a very different direction even though the other charcter is not okay with it. BLs sometimes like to romanticise harrassement.

The writers are mostly female and the target audience is as well. BLs are mostly a fantasy and that's totally fine. It's just boring that every show is basically the same with the same stereotypes and exact same plot. The characters are not in any way real and Gene just copied this idea for "bad engineer". BL novels are created by women for women and that's what is criticised here because there's nothing real about it. In fact Gene wants to focus more on character developments and not NC scenes.

Fanscervice blends over problems the actors might have with each other. Nubsib and Aey don't get along that well but they have to, for the fans. This is a new level of pretending and also very uncomfortable to watch because they have to sacrifice their own values in order to have a job in the first place.

The jokes ... they are just very funny. Having a discussion about product placement for product placement?

Changing in the women's changing rooms because you thought it was 'unisex'?

Nubsib wearing a shirt saying 'eat me'?

There are many more but these are the ones I remember laughing at the most.

Questions

What's the deal with Aey?

Nubsib obviously doesn't like him but why? What did he do?

Is Nubsib jealous? Does Aey have a crush on Gene?

Will Aey become a character we feel sorry for?

What's going on in Tum's life? (I'm concerned)

Ending

This show adds layer after layer and from afar it looks like the typical BL but it's way, way better than that. It's funny, entertaining, realistic and interesting. Basically a writer navigating helplessly through the BL industry and learning that everything needs to be mainstream and is not allowed to be very different from the rest. I like this idea very much because as fans of BLs, we only see the things from the outside and can only assume the stuff that's going on behind the scenes. Here we have people who know what they are talking about whom we can use as a ressource. I found new aspects in this show I didn't even think about being a problem with the BL industry. It's just very interesting.

Preview

The previews always promise some heavy developments and I'm really excited to see jealous Gene and also drunk Gene. What will he do and will he be different? I mean, Nubsib is going to move out but I guess in the end, he won't. I don't know, something will happen because when Gene said "you can stay" he looked very sorry. Perhaps Nubsib shows more of himself and I think we all agree that he's probably messed up. He thinks pretending and manipulation leads to love...

#lovely writer #gene x nubsib #do they have a ship name?#i should've solved my tasks instead of writing this...#nevermind #i like this more

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thevolturiarejustbetter · 3 years

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Alec Volturi-PART3

Alice Cullen was starting to lose confidence in herself.

How could she have missed something this huge? The good news was that the Volturi were no longer interested in Bella and had given them their deadline. A deadly deadline that would eventually determine whether their whole family got to live or die, if not fulfilled.

But there was another huge problem. Bella’s younger sister meant everything to her. Almost even more than Edward meant to her, which meant that if her sister was to stay in a different continent, Bella again would fall into depression effecting Edward and the rest of the Cullens.

Although the Cullens had never met Ava Swan personally, they knew almost every aspect of her life, and they could never forgive themselves if they had forced the young innocent human with the most deadliest coven in the world and their existence.

And here they all were.

The coven every vampire to ever exist dreaded to face. The volturi. Edward suddenly started to regret every decision he ever made during the past 6 months. This all would’ve never happened if it wasn’t for his relationship problems and there was no winning. If they were to brin Ava safely back home, she would face extreme depression, even worse than Bella because of having to experience the mate and bloodsinger pull. Of course the only person more depressed would be Alec but Edward could care less.

But he knew Aro along with the rest of their coven would do anything for their four high guards especially the witch twins as they were like family. Edward knew how they all felt about each other and whether he wanted to admit it or not, their cruelty didn’t cancel out the genuine family relations between the high guards,the kings, and of course the rarely seen wives.

There was literally no good possible solution the two Cullens could think of.

Caius was annoyed and confused. He knows his brothers well enough to come to the conclusion that they too were also confused. They knew most vampires had soulmates but having a mate and a bloodsinger was not only extremely rare but the bond would also be incredibly strong. Caius also knew his two brothers well enough to determine that all three were masking their happiness for Alec, who was almost like a son to Caius while Jane was like a daughter to Aro. But of course there was a complication. The girl had to be human and be related to nonetheless troublemaking Bella Swan.

Marcus sat up attentive. The black smoke of none other than Alec was surrounding the girl who was now tired and clearly in pain from slapping the suicidal and depressed vampire much to his amusement. The human was feisty and different from her older sister. He could tell that his brother Aro and Caius were delighted but no one in the room knew what actions they were going to take towards the young human girl who was now senselessly on the floor, with the psychic shaking her worriedly.

Alec knew what he needed to do. He needed her. She was his. The only word going through his mind was Mine

She was his and he knew that the masters and their wives along with everyone in this damn castle were not going to stand in his way. He knew that no one was ever going to challenge him or stand in his way. No one ever had. His masters treated him like their precious son and had him on a silver platter. Of course the three brothers would guide advise him on what to do but Alec knew that he would get whatever he wanted. No one was going to land a hand on her because she was his.

Demetri and Felix tried their best to hold in their laughs. The situation in front of them was absolutely hilarious. A brooding vampire mistaking his mate’s existence asking for death, almost breaking one of their sacred laws, being reunited with his mate, and back in the courtroom with his human and the other human who had just slapped the shit out of the vampire continually. And that brave feisty human happened to be the mate of Alec. This was the most fun they had in a millennials.

Ava felt numb. Her vision was blurry and she was.. relaxed? For the first time in months she was so relaxed and felt stress free. How was this possible? Her sister and her lover had committed a serious crime and they were apparently supposed to die. Was it the gummies? She had never felt this way before and the next thing she was an angelic looking boy who she guessed was about 17.

He’s hot she giggled.

Bella relaxed a bit as Ava seemed to be doing well. She seemed to be back to her normal goofy self. Her self before Italy. Other than the fact she was on the floor in pain with her severely bruised hand and the mysterious black smoke surrounding her. But she saw Alice and Edwards face of relief and she knew that her sister wasn’t in pain. At least not physically.

“I’m cold. What is wrong with my human. I just took away her sense to feel and yet she seems to be a bit hysterical.” Alec’s angelic voice echoed throughout the room.

Demetri and Felix snickered as Jane looked at the human on the floor terrified

Marcus and Caius felt amusement on their faces while Aro seemed to be in awe

“She took some candy before we got here that causes human to not be themselves. They call it drugs but the ones she took are legal in her town and they’re mostly harmless” Edward voice answered

Ava started to slip in and out of consciousness as all she could hear were the pretty angelic voices of these- these monsters? Vampires?

She felt Alice’s glove less hands run through her hair massaging her scalp and relaxing her even more as she started to gain more control of her body. She got up to see the room spinning and the black smoke was gone. She soon fell back down to Alice’s lap as she heard more voices.

“Well what an interesting turn of events!” Aro exclaimed his loud authoritative yet gentle voice echoing throughout the court.

“It seems that Carlisle owes us an explanation.” Caius responded coldly

“Now now brother. Everything is fine here. Our dear Alec has finally found his source of true happiness like the rest of us. It seems now the only logical thing to do is call Carlisle and make some plans.” Aro trailed off grinning widely looking at Bella and Ava on the floor.

“Give us one year. One year and we’ll change Bella. Give Ava one year of her humanity. She only recently turned 16 years old and would like to spend more time as a human. We’ll all be back in a year and we know Ava needs protection so she can reside with us for a year. Please Aro.” Alice looked at Aro as hiss and growls erupted the room, all from the same vampire.

Alec

He was displeased. How could he not see his angel for a whole year. That was like a death sentence.

“Now now Alec. Let’s all understand what’s at stake here. We’ll improve and expand Alice’s plan more. You can have one year but must be back with my dear friend Carlisle and our sweet Ava every month to check in.” Aro offered.

“We’ll take it. Ava will be back with Carlisle and I along with Alice every month for one year to check in on her safety.” The offer was too much but Edward knew this was going to be the best they could get and he needed to accept fast before Alec refused. He knew that although Alec and Ava had spent less than an hour together and hadn’t even shared a conversation, their bond was much more stronger than what he and Bella had even after spending a whole year together. He had seen it in Marcus’ mind.

Bella and him were bloodsingers but he knew that Alec, a vampire royalty who had spend milleniums,centuries, thousands of years without his soulmate, would do anything to be with and protect his mate even if she was human.

Alec’s dark red eyes suddenly darkened even more almost turning black

“No. No no no no,” Ava heard the same angelic voice snarl/hiss one word over and over again, frustration and anger lacing his voice this time. For some reason, she wasn’t happy to hear his frustrated voice. She didn’t even know who the hell he was, yet she wished to hear him happy?

Oh right. He’s supposedly my soulmate.. Ava thought, she could feel Edwards stare on her again.

“Now now Alec they’ll be back at the end of each month. You’ll see her again in two weeks. We’ll all see dear Ava again.” Aro sighed happily.

“Felix, Demetri escort our dear friends out and I’ll be in touch with Carlisle about our offer.” Aro grinned towards Aro motioning for Felix and Demetri.

As they left the room, Alice was holding her but Ava’s head was clear enough to see what was happening. The boy. She yearned for him. She didn’t know why. They hadn’t even talked before. She could feel his stare pierce through her skull and she turned around and started to physically depends on Alice.

She didn’t know what the hell was going on.

#alec volturi #demetri volturi #felix volturi #volturi #twilight #edward cullen #alice cullen #aro volturi #caius volturi #new moon

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lokidrabbles · 4 years

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Tolerance (Loki x Reader)

After Loki is injured in battle, him and reader share their first kiss together

A/N: Another short one shot focused on more relationship building through dialogue between Loki and reader. I’ve had this one in my mind for a while, I hope you all enjoy. As always, gender neutral reader!

Warnings: None, fluff and general cheesy flirting

It was hard to believe that Loki, or Thor for that matter, would ever become seriously injured during the small scuffles between the Avengers and anyone wanting to cause trouble in the city. The Asgardians were tough, that went without saying, and although a new wave of criminals and super humans were making themselves present in the world, it was nothing out of the ordinary for the brothers.

The news of Loki being sent to the infirmary after having a semi-truck thrown at him both surprised and worried you at the same time. Actually, you knew exactly how it had all gone down based on the reports you had gotten back from the accompanying agents that same day. In the intensity of the battle, one of the suspects with considerable inhuman strength had flung a full sized semi-truck at Loki, knocking him out for a good while. Of course, Loki recovered slowly with a couple of scratches on his face, but Thor was more than insistent about his brother being properly attended by the ‘healers’ at the facility.

You empathized with Thor. He had taken his role as the overprotective older brother rather well after the loss of Asgard a year ago, and you knew he’d just about do anything to make sure Loki remained in one piece. You could picture Loki’s gigantic pout when he would indeed be admitted to the facility’s care unit to make sure no serious injuries had been present. Even for an Asgardian, you figured there would be caution to take when blacking out in the middle of a fight. Unsurprisingly, nothing serious appeared other than Loki being extremely furious and uncomfortable getting poked and prodded by all the nursing staff. You knew it would be in his favor to remain compliant with all the procedures so Thor would settle down over his well being. Their relationship was admirable, but mostly hilarious.

You made sure to take a visit to Loki in his room after work to humor him (he’d appreciate that), but mostly to also make sure he was telling the truth about being without injury. You supposed you also took a protective approach to him, knowing he’d be out there within the front lines of danger. And yes, you were fully aware that Loki was just as tough as Thor and would probably need more than an 18-wheeler to fully take him out, but the nagging thought of ‘what if’ continued to pester you throughout the day.

When you arrived, Thor was still very present by his brother’s side. You slapped your mouth to hold back a snort once you took a look at Loki. He appeared very out of place laying in that hospital bed and you could tell by the twitch in his brow that he was aching to get the hell out of there. Thor had apparently gone on a tangent on how he was victorious in the battle, praising his quick thinking and strength to get everyone out of a sticky situation (Loki included.) From your time getting to know the dark haired Asgardian, you knew one of the most irritating things to him was Thor boasting about himself when it was clearly not asked for. The pout you had imagined earlier was worn all over his face.

“Hey there Asgard entourage, I’m glad to see the both of you are doing well.” You said out loud, hoping to save Loki from his brother’s rambling.

“Was there ever any doubt?” Thor asked cheekily, causing Loki’s eyes to roll to the back of his head.

“I mean, it’s hard to imagine for anyone around these parts to survive a blow like that.” You mentioned while raising your brow at Loki.

“Norns, is that really the news of the day? Mortals tend to obsess over the most mundane of things, it’s rather annoying.” Loki commented while rubbing his temples.

“Oh, you know the Midgardians brother, they collectively work together to ensure everyone in the team in safe and sound. And that includes you too, my honorary Avenger.” Thor replied while giving a quick jab at his shoulder.

You had to give it to Thor despite Loki’s interjections. While he was still in one whole piece, you could tell he was very worn out by the altercation. His hair was a matted mess (though you would never tell him), his cheek had a notable scratch you imagined would completely scar and heal in a couple of days, his eyes were darker and heavier than usual and part of his forearm had been bandaged up tightly. It was a first for you, seeing Loki semi-damaged after battle. You knew worse had been done to him, but the nagging thought continued to bring you closer to his bedside.

“Ooh, Avenger. I like the sound of that.” You said teasingly, following along with Thor’s own.

“You know, I believe this visit has met its limit already. Why don’t the both of you maybe, get lost somewhere far, far away from here?” Loki asked through gritted teeth.

Both you and Thor made a very dangerous and irritating team against Loki, and your sniggering only caused the God of Thunder to roar out a boisterous laugh. Loki was in hell.

“Very well brother, I’ll take your word.” Thor said while wiping away the tears forming in his eyes. “You are certain you are completely well, correct?“

“Please leave already.”

“Not until-” Thor said and then cut off as he raised his fish and landed a rather loud punch on the side of Loki’s shoulder. You saw Loki’s body flop to the side and back, biting his lips in the obvious tremendous amount of pain he was in. As tough as he was, you’d imagine taking a punch from Thor would still hurt like hell. Brotherly love after all.

“Make sure he rests well, don’t let him out of your sight.” Thor commanded to you while walking out of the infirmary, leaving both you and Loki.

“Sorry about that, I couldn’t help it.” You said, clearing the humor out of your throat. “You want me to leave too?

“You’re fine, as long as you don’t throw at fist at my shoulder either.”

You winked at him and made yourself comfortable in a chair beside his bed. “You’re rather cute when you’re being the little brother.”

“I think I’d rather not be called ‘little brother’, especially coming from you.” He said while propping himself upwards. You immediately caught onto his shallow breath. Was he in pain?

“Thor’s got a point though. You do look like hell. I mean, I know it’s not anything life threatening, but even I can tell that fight took a lot out of you.”

He scoffed, and then bit his lower lip. “Rather shameful I can’t tolerate stuff as well as I could in my youth. I’m alive, but my back has been tormenting me.”

“Youth huh? What, like a thousand years ago?” It wasn’t a stupid question, but it caused him to chuckle.

“You say like that’s an eternity ago.” He replied, turning his neck carefully to look at you. “You’ve made me feel quite old now mortal.”

“Oh please. You’re still in your prime and I’m sure you know that. Just admit it’s not about you getting old and about getting knocked the eff over in battle. It happens to everyone. Err, every super being.”

“That’s a very odd way to want to cheer me up, but it is appreciated regardless.” He commented briefly.

“If it gives you any respite, I am glad to see that you’re doing well, albeit from a couple of scratches.” You said genuinely. “And no I won’t go off on a tangent like Thor. “

He remained silent for a bit and his piercing gaze remained on you. “You shouldn’t need to worry about me, especially with the weak foes we encounter on this planet. I’ve lived for thousands of years. I’ve had worse.”

A crooked smile formed on your face. “Well, thanks. But it’s just hard to shake away that worry. Take it from your brother, this is something you’re just gonna have to deal with every time something like this happens. The unfortunate thing is you’re gonna have to deal with me pestering you too.”

“Thor can be intolerable, but I wouldn’t mind it at all from you.”

You didn’t know if it was the mood of the room or your gut instinct, but it was certainly something you had longed to do for some time. You felt your body stand and lean over to his face . His eyes followed along with your movements with no intention of stopping you. You got closer to him, allowing you to briskly kiss the side of his cheek. His skin felt soft on your lips only for a brief moment and you pulled back before making things even awkward. Both your eyes and his instantly connected, unable to break away from the line of sight.

You were unsure of what he’d make of it and you’d know to be wary about Loki rejecting your advances or simply revealing to you he is not interested in you in an intimate way. But the thought of him being injured, or possibly losing him in battle encouraged your to be a bit more bolder with your intentions. You knew it wouldn’t be nothing unexpected or uncalled for and you only hoped he wouldn’t completely be put off with your actions.

“That’s rather bold of you mortal.” He said with a cunning smirk. “Yet, you seemed to have missed my lips, if that’s what you were aiming for.”

You beamed at his response, but played well at remaining cool about it. “Hmm, what’s in it for me? How good are Asgardians at kissing?”

“Only the best in the nine realms. Too coy to find out for yourself?” He asked.

You had a hunch he’d be very flirty once he’d be more comfortable around you and it almost seemed to easy to just give into the gratification of kissing him.

“Wait, are you serious?” You asked, wondering if he was messing with you or simply giving into the moment as well.

“Were you not?”

“No, I mean, I am serious. I just didn’t think you’d feel the same. We’re always just dicking around with each other, it’s hard to tell.”

“I don’t throw my lips just at anyone you know. Consider yourself lucky human. Now, come on over.”

He reached over the back of the head, just to pull you closer to him, finally allowing you to have much desired taste of him. It was aggressive at first, but you then felt him soften, as if also wanting to savor the flavor of your own lips. You pulled back again, catching your breath. You saw how his lips remained parted, practically begging for more from you, but you held yourself back from possibly jumping on the bed along with him.

“Okay, that was pretty good.” You managed to say.

“Now that is something I’m still very talented at.” His arrogance at no bounds at times, but you secretly enjoyed that part of him.

“So I don’t need to tell you about how I feel about you, right? Because that would be excruciatingly painful to do at the moment.” You admitted to him, doing your best at hiding the redness in your face.

“Hmm. I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want...yet, perhaps it would make me feel better since I am quite sore from that battle. A morale boost, won’t you agree?“

“This was a mistake.”

He grinned widely and you knew he would milk every single thing out of this as much as he could. “No need to be modest. You can tell me what’s the best thing about me. Perhaps my looks, or my sorcery? Perhaps my intelligence as well? Of course, there’s just so many things to consider.”

“Uh, sure.” You said reluctantly.

“You’re no fun.”

You giggled, pecking him really quickly on his cheek again. “What I can say is that you’d look really, really good getting some rest for the rest of the day. It’s tempting to see you laid out here, but I think I’d prefer to see you strolling around with that eccentric cape of yours in tip too shape.”

“I suppose that would be wise thing to do. Honestly, I just need a few hours. I should be more than fine tomorrow. I promise.”

“Good to hear. Come visit me at my office tomorrow then, yeah?” You asked, making your way out of the infirmary.

“Of course...and thank you.”

---

#loki #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki imagines #loki (mcu)#Loki Laufeyson #loki odinson #loki of asgard #loki fanfiction

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t-lostinworlds · 5 years

Text

Hidden Agenda (Tom Holland)

A/N: ITS ABOUT FUCKING DAMN TIME LOL. Christmas was almost a month ago now but ha, better late than never right? no? okay, sorry heh. At least it’s long-er right? still no? yup. Anyhow! I hope you guys enjoy this one! x

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: You were planning on spending Christmas alone but Tom presses that you spend it with him and his family instead. He just so happen to “forget” to mention it to them that you were just his best friend, and not his girlfriend.

Warnings: Nada but my usual typos

Word Count: 8.1k+

Masterlist in Bio

-:-:-:-:-

"Bye guys. I'll see you all soon." Tom bid his last goodbyes as you waited just by the door of a mutual friend's house, the party still in full swing but the two of you have already decided to call it a night.

"Let's just walk yeah?" He turned to you with a smile, offering his arm for you to hold, which you did, gladly.

It was the 23rd of December and the city of London was still as alive as ever, given the fact that it was nearing midnight. The wind was cold with a sprinkle of snow here and there, coating the streets lightly with white. People were all bundled up in layers as they walked under numerous twinkling lights, small chatter and laughs echoing about with the hum of the carols that each open store plays, and nothing could ever scream Christmas more than this.

"You're going back home tomorrow right?" Tom asked, your bodies close together, side by side in an attempt to stay warm. "Nope." You simply answered, not even bothering to give any further details. You didn't have to.

"You're still not in good terms with them?" You shook your head no, sparing Tom a glance to see a frown written on those lips. He didn't need to tell you who he meant since you already know 'them' means your family. You two are close, so naturally, you tell him everything. Well, most of everything.

"What're your plans for Christmas then?"

You shrugged, sighing as you shot him a small smile. "I don't know. I'll probably just stay back at the flat and watch a movie, order take out and eat ice cream. Maybe wear a Christmas hat and jumper for it to be special and not just my typical night." You joked, but Tom lips didn't even twitch as he only stared at you with furrowed brows, frown still intact.

"What, alone?" You looked at him curiously, the concern written on his face only growing to which you only responded with a small nod. "Well, yeah—"

"Yeah, that's not happening." Tom scoffed with a shake of his head. You turned your head fully to look at him confused. "What'd you mean?"

"You're spending Christmas with me."’

He stated casually, almost bluntly as if he didn't have any plans for the holidays whatsoever, his voice firm in a way to tell you that he's already made up his mind.

"You're going to be with your family Tom." You stated, as a matter of fact, since he has already told you what he was doing tomorrow, so him spending Christmas with you doesn't exactly add up. Tom only squared his shoulders, eyes looking straight to avoid your confused gaze.

"Exactly."

It took you a minute to understand what he was trying to say, his proposition slowly registering in your brain before you halted your movements, stopping right in front of him to try and get your point across. "No no no, I'm not going to crash your holiday plans with your family Tom. I'm going to be fine at the flat."

Tom only raised his one messy brow, hands in the pockets of his coat and when he gets in this stance, you know very well that he was ready to argue. "Well, I sure as hell won't let you spend Christmas alone Y/N."

You crossed your arms over your chest to counter him, a frown on your lips as you are not exactly keen on being an intruder to a family celebration, especially if it was this last minute. "I'm not just showing up uninvited, I really don't want to invade."

Tom only chuckled, walking closer to you with a reassuring smile, the corner of his eyes crinkling as his hands landed on your shoulder comfortingly. "You won't. I'll text mum a heads up and we'll go down there together. Trust me, they'd be glad to have you. They've been dying to meet you."

Granted, you haven't met the Hollands.

You've known Tom for so long but you still have yet to meet his family. It was a case of your busy schedule combined with his that you haven't had the chance to go whenever an opportunity pops up. You have met Harry since he's with Tom mostly, but that's about it. So going with him at their house during Christmas, with it a very last minute plan, it was making you a bit nervous, and by a bit, you mean a lot.

You pouted at him, still a bit wary of this idea of his. "Are you a hundred percent sure they won't mind?" Tom flashed you that charming grin, all confident and bright, the one that never fails to make your heart flutter even if you so badly don't want it to. "Completely sure."

"But Tom—"

"Y/N, I really don't want you to spend Christmas alone and we can stay out here in the cold and argue for as long as you want, or you could just say yes right now and spare us the time because you very well know I don't easily back down." He cuts you off with a knowing smile, arms all crossed over his chest to let you know that he was up for the challenge, just like he always is.

You groaned with a roll of your eyes because you just know, deep in your bones, that you weren't getting your way with this, especially when it was crystal clear that he's already made up his mind. He would just keep pushing until you say yes, or either way, he'll drag you down there no questions asked.

Thomas Holland is just stubborn that way.

"Glad to see that you care about how I spend my holidays." You grumbled, your heart fluttering at his concern of not wanting you to spend Christmas all by yourself, a glimmer of hope shining through, your mind playing its daydream as to why that could be.

"I'm your best friend, of course I care." And just like that, the small hope was snuffed out seconds later, a light sting in your heart that you tried your hardest to ignore, but you also can't say you aren't used to it by now.

You shook your head with a timid smile to mask what you truly felt about his statement, letting out a sigh as you looked at the boy in front of you who sported an all-too proud grin on his face. Of course he knows he's winning this. "Fine, fine, I'll go. But you'll come with me early tomorrow for a last minute Christmas shopping. I don't want to show up empty handed."

Tom's face lit up like a Christmas tree at that, his smile only getting wider as he offered you his arm again. Even if you wanted nothing more than to wipe that smug smirk of his, you took his arm nonetheless, a small chuckle escaping out of the boy as he wholeheartedly agreed.

"Deal."

* * *

To say you were nervous would be an understatement.

Your hands were clammy, your heartbeat rapid, and if the look on your face wasn't an enough dead giveaway, your not-so-steady breathing would surely do the trick.

Tom was right beside you as you two walk up to their front door, and he can practically see you physically shake with nerves. You can feel his eyes bore a whole on the side of your head, a look of concern but mostly amusement written on his face.

"Hey, you're going to be fine. I'm sure they'll like you. There's no need to be nervous Y/N." He chuckled, swinging his arm over your shoulder as he pulled you in for a side hug. You only nodded with a sigh, Tom squeezing your arm in comfort as he placed a soft kiss on top of your head.

It was so funny, borderline hilarious how anxious you were feeling on meeting his family. The excitement is there of course but this nagging voice inside your head just seems to overpower everything. It was somewhat of a want for them to approve of you and like you in a way, which doesn't even make any sense or prove any point as to why you want their approval. The thought was just ridiculous given the fact that you aren't even his girlfrien—

"Y/N! Hello darling, nice to finally meet you."

Too caught up in your thoughts that you didn't even notice that you've already reached the door, a lovely woman was standing right in front of you as she opened it wider and pulled you in for a warm and welcoming hug. "Nice to finally meet you too Mrs. Holland." You greeted with a bright smile once you pulled away, her hands grabbing yours as she gave it a squeeze.

"Oh please, call me Nikki. I've heard so much about you already since Tom just won't shut up. He's quite fond of you this boy, I mean it is the first time he's ever brought a girlfriend home."

Your eyes widened in shock once your brain processed the word, your head slowly, almost dramatically turning to look at a red-faced Tom as you try and find some kind of explanation. He met your eyes briefly before he shook his head, your brows furrowing even more when he turned back to his mother, cleared his throat and only said, "Mum it's cold out here."

"Oh! My bad, come in, make yourself at home sweets." You weren't given the time to ask Tom questions as you were ushered inside seconds later. The confusion only consumed you more the longer you wonder as to why Tom didn't bother and correct his mother.

What on earth is this boy doing?

"Look who's here." Nikki announced the moment you reached the living room where most of his family was situated. The loud chime of her voice made three sets of eyes turn to you, all faces sporting wide grins that did nothing but made you feel at ease and comfortable in so little time. Tessa was quick to run and jump at Tom, his voice raising an octave as he greeted his precious girl. You, on the other hand, turned towards the sound of your name.

"Y/N! Glad to see you again." Harry was the first one to stand up and greet you with a warm hug. "Hi Harry, how are you?" You grinned, ruffling his mesh of curls that only made him chuckle. "Never better."

His twin brother, Sam, was the next to introduce himself followed by their youngest, cute little Paddy, freckles and all.

"Ah, so this is the girl Tom won't stop talking about." You felt your cheeks heat up at the sentence, turning around to see Tom's father walk in just seconds later.

"Dad—"

"Hello Mr. Holland." You ignored Tom and turned to the father of the family with a sweet smile, in which he returned graciously.

"That's too formal love, just call me Dom." He greeted with a warm hug. Once you pulled away, you caught a glimpse of Tom just watching with a sheepish grin on his lips, making the confusion in your brain grow even more.

You felt really flattered by the fact that Tom has told his family about you. It makes you feel, somewhat special in a way but of course, being as guarded as yourself, you tried your best not to think much about it. You are pretty sure he's talk about all his friends to his family in the same way he talks about you.

Though you are still very curious as to why Tom's mother thought you're his girlfriend, because that's just far from the truth. But it seems like you can't get him alone to ask. That or he's purposefully avoiding you and your questions, you don't know which is which as of yet.

"Oh Tom, I'll help you with your stuff. I believe you two are sleeping in the guest bedroom." Dom butted in and gave Tom's shoulder a pat. He was about to walk out of the room but your voice stopped him.

"We will be sharing a bedroom?" The words slipped out your mouth before you could even stop it, your brows knitted together, your eyes searching Tom's to which he avoided so evidently. "Well, you two are together and I do trust Tom not to do any funny business." Dom simply said, playfulness laced in his tone.

Well, guess that makes it that most, if not all of his family think you're his girlfriend.

"Seriously Dad?" Tom groaned, palm rubbing on his red face, you found it quite adorable if being honest, maybe even more if you weren't raking your brain for answers as to what the hell is going on.

Dom only chuckled as he gave Tom's shoulder a squeeze. "I'm just messing with you. Come on son, your bags won't carry themselves upstairs." Tom nodded with a sigh. He only spare you a quick glance, shooting you a shy smile with his cheeks all flushed and pink.

You were waiting, just waiting for him to say something, to tell his dad that you weren't together, to correct him too but it never came. It was like he wants them to think that you are in fact together, which isn't the case at all, and you could only think as to why.

Well you're not correcting them either.

Huh, touché.

Of course a part of you was enjoying the moment, you've had feeling for Tom for a while now. With him being so sweet, kind and caring with a side of charm, talent and sexiness, how can you not? So his family thinking that you're his girlfriend? It was pure bliss.

You do hate the way it makes you feel hopeful though. Hopeful that there was something more about this, feelings wise. But you just know he doesn't. If the countless of girls he's been pining for wasn't enough proof, then him saying that he doesn't feel anything for you to Harrison, was.

You didn't mean to eavesdrop on their conversation that night, you just happened to walk in his living room to hear your name, and you got hooked.

"Don't believe anything they tell you." Tom warned playfully, his voice taking you out of your train of thoughts. You furrowed your brows at him confused to which he only gestured behind you, his finger pointed accusingly at his brothers. You turned around to see all three boys smiling innocently at you, though the mischievous glints in their eyes says otherwise.

Oh you were getting some good gossip tonight.

"Come on Tom, how bad can it be?"

* * *

Your laugh was the first thing Tom heard when he walked back inside the living room, a smile making its way onto his lips to see you glowing with joy. Even more so when he saw Tessa situated comfortably on your lap, the precious dog looking up at you sweetly as she listens to whatever you were saying, the way your hand stroked the back of her ear was enough to make her stay right where she is.

The sight alone melted Tom's heart ten times over.

"What are the four of you talking about?" He asked with a brow raise, his brothers looking at you and then back at him before stifling out little chuckles. "What are you telling her boys?" Tom presses even more, dread slowly consuming him on the thought of what his brothers could've spilt this time.

"Don't worry Tom, they're just confirming what I already know." You responded with a wide grin, leaning back on the couch, all calm and smug.

"And that is?"

"That you're really stupid, especially with girls. God the things that you've done." You answered nonchalantly, shaking your head at him teasingly. Tom's cheeks turned a deep shade of red as a number of horrible and embarrassing stories crossed his mind and he was sure the boys told you one, if not all of those said stories.

"Whoops time to check the turkey." Sam was quick to stand and exit the room, chuckles coming out of him to which Tom could only do nothing but watch him disappear.

"I'll help and set the table. Paddy come on." And just like that all three boys were out of sight, leaving you with a curious yet adorably embarrassed Tom. "Seriously, what did they tell you?" You stifled out a laugh at his distressed state, Tom only jutting out his bottom lip in response as he slowly made his way to stand in front of you.

"It's nothing. Just things you did when you were younger. They quite exposed you if I'm being honest but nothing too bad." You answered to try and reassure him, but still, Tom wasn't having it, but he also knows you weren't going to tell him anytime soon either so he decided to just let it go, even if it was bugging him a lot.

"Wow, we just got here and you've already taken over my family." Tom sighed as he plopped beside you on the couch, his eyes glancing down at the dog who rested soundly on your lap, not even bothered by Tom's presence. "You too Tess? This is just outrageous." He protested, arm resting just behind you as he shot you a playful glare, bottom lip all jutted out and you couldn't help but laugh. You shrugged with a wide and proud grin of your own. "What can I say, I am quite the charm."

"Yup, you definitely are." Tom whispered under his breath but he doesn't really realize most of the time when he's speaking out loud, so of course, you heard.

There was a slight change in his tone, a difference in the way he said it that made the butterflies in your stomach go haywire, a certain look on his face that made your brain grow curios but your heart grow hopeful.

Silence rang in the air as none of you decided to speak after that. Tom knows you heard what he just said, the faint blush in his cheeks just screams it, and it was only a matter of seconds for it to grow awkward until you realized that you've got your own questions for him.

"Tom, why does your whole family think that I'm your girl—"

"I got the yearbook!" Paddy came out of nowhere with a toothy grin, book in hand to which you assumed was Tom's, judging by the way he groaned in utter dismay. "You guys really love to embarrass me."

Paddy only giggled as he made his way beside you, handing you the yearbook to which you thanked him for. You turned to Tom to see another mortified look on his face, and you could do nothing but laugh at his reaction. A smirk was plastered on your lips, all teasing and smug as you patted his leg in feign support.

"Hey, that's what brothers are for."

* * *

Dinner was well underway.

The beautiful sound of laughter accompanied by the glorious and delicious smell of the full plates made you feel all warm as you look around the dining table surrounded by a happy family. Tom was sat right beside you, eyes all crinkled as he tried to contain his amusement at bay due to something his Dad had said.

You were holding your end of the conversation as well as his family asks you whatever question they had in mind. It was the typical ones, what you do with work and school, favorite marvel movie – not choosing Spider-Man just to get on Tom's nerves – the usual jazz. Nothing was out of the ordinary until Tom did something cute from the outside looking in, but questionable to you.

"Hey, look at me." He mumbled as he patted your arm softly, making you stop your conversation with Sam to turn and look at your best friend. "Hmm?" You hummed, Tom only smiling at you as his hand took hold of your chin to keep your head in place. The middle of your brows creased, your heartbeat picking up its pace as you stared right at Tom's brown orbs all confused, but you didn't have to ask no more as he brought his napkin up to gently, almost lovingly wipe the gravy that was on the corner of your lips.

"There." Tom flashed you one last smile before turning back to his Dad as if it was nothing, him missing the way you let out the breath you were holding as you tried your best to keep the butterflies from causing any more havoc.

"You two are such an adorable couple." Your head snap back at Nikki who had such a proud grin on her face, looking at you and Tom so adoringly and you didn't want to be the one to ruin it for her, so you just smiled at her shyly, your cheeks all hot as you looked at Tom with the corner of your eyes, the boy still oblivious of the consequences of his actions.

It was such a mundane thing, what Tom just did, and he's done it before too, but somehow, in front of his family, it felt like there was some hidden agenda to it, and you suddenly felt uneasy.

* * *

The festivity was now moved back to the living room, the main lights now dimmed replaced by the glow of the Christmas tree as the TV played Elf. Everyone was scattered everywhere with the young boys on the floor wrapped in big and soft comforters, both parents cuddled on the edge of the couch, while you and Tom sat next to each other on the other end.

You tried your best to focus on the movie, but it was becoming a hard task as your mind processed other things instead. Along with Tom's arm resting over your shoulder, pulling you closer and closer to his side as his fingers played with the ends of your hair? It wasn't easy to stay focused.

Even more so when he—out of nowhere—turned his head to place a soft kiss on your forehead, his lips gentle against your skin as it lingers for more seconds than normal. Your eyes snapped up to meet his to which he was quick to avoid as his brown orbs were back on the television. You were staring at him intently, only breaking your gaze once you caught Dom and Nikki whispering in each other's ear, not so discreetly pointing at the two of you.

You placed your eyes back on Tom, your brows furrowing in concentration and curiosity as if you'll find answers on the dips and valleys of his face.

What is this boy trying to prove? Does he actually have a hidden agenda?

Tom tore his eyes from the TV screen to look down at you seconds later once he felt your burning glare on him. "What're you staring at?" He mumbled, the smirk on his lips slowly growing as you only rolled your eyes at him and stayed quiet, looking down at your hands once you felt your cheeks heat up.

And here you were, back on your never ending train of thoughts, more fuel added to the fire when Nikki and Dom bid their goodnights, the phrase "love birds" thrown about to which you and Tom only responded with timid smiles, the boy beside you still not bothering to correct them at all.

That's when the theory as to why finally hits you.

Everything could be just a big misunderstanding but a part of you can't help but think that maybe the reason why Tom has been acting the way he is the moment you arrived at their doorstep, is to actually make his family think that you are in fact his girlfriend.

Maybe his family has been pestering him to get a girlfriend to the point where it was getting on his nerves. Maybe this has been his plan all along the moment he invited you to spend Christmas with him, to show off to his family so that they'll stop asking questions, so that they can finally stop pressing about his love life. If so, then that would absolutely suck.

A heads up would have been slightly better because if that really was the case, then you just feel utterly used and downright played.

And just like that your mood was quick to switch.

"I think I'll go and get some sleep too." You grumbled as you pulled away from his grasp. You were fast to stand to your full height that it made the middle of Tom's brows crease with worry. "You alright?"

You flashed him a tight-lipped smile, avoiding his eyes as much as possible as you nodded. "Yeah, just tired."

Tom had his thinking face for a second, the one he wears whenever he suspects that you weren't exactly telling him the truth. You were glad though that, that said face only lasted a few seconds. "Okay, I'll be right up in a few."

Once you've said goodnight to the boys, you were quick to turn on your heel as you rushed upstairs, shutting the bedroom door behind you with a long sigh.

You were going to make the most of your time alone, to think and to breathe at least, to have a much needed space given the fact that Tom would most likely show up in a couple minutes and there would be nowhere to escape him.

Perks of sharing a bedroom. Sarcasm greatly intended.

* * *

Lying down alone in bed has always been one of your places to think, or in this case, overthink.

You were torn, still not clear as to what you'd conclude this situation to be. If you've just made a big deal out of the whole situation when it wasn't at all; or that there's definitely something going on and you just know nothing about it. But either way, you can't help but be hurt.

You could try and pretend to actually be his girlfriend and just live in the moment, this has been your dream for so long after all. But you also can't stop thinking about how you're playing yourself if you do exactly that.

If you let him use you for his own gain, then you're just setting yourself for heartbreak in the future.

Your feelings for Tom shouldn't in anyway make him have a pass on lying. What you feel for him should never make him able to get away with everything, especially with the risk of him taking advantage of it. Maybe he knows what you feel, maybe he doesn't, but that still doesn't give him any right to drag you into whatever he's planning without confronting you about it first.

It could've made a difference if he talked to you about it, asked this whole thing as a favor instead of just playing you right into his trap.

Could this actually be the reason why he suddenly thought about bringing you home with him? If so, then he probably doesn't care if you were to spend Christmas all alone.

You were hurt for sure, but you were also very angry, hence why you aren't fully rational with the situation at hand.

You and Tom have never slept in the same room ever before. Same house sure, all the sleepovers can vouch for that, but you've always had your own space whenever that happens. You two have shared a few clothes, and a few stuff but none of you has crossed too much into the other's personal space. Being best friends, it has its perks but it also has boundaries for it to stay that way, which is why you also have never shared a bed.

You weren't exactly sure if you're ready to make tonight the first, especially with the whole 'his family thinks you're his girlfriend' thing going on. You also weren't sure if your heart could really take it, being so near to him in an almost, too intimate setting with your emotions and all.

Having feelings for your best friend is stressful as fuck.

As much as you want him to sleep on the floor, you couldn't find it in you to let it happen. You were definitely mad at him, but just because, you still couldn't let him sleep on the cold, hard floor. So, you opted on placing a pillow in the middle of the bed, a make-shift wall to separate your side and his. It wasn't much, but it was something at least, a needed distance for you not to cross dangerous territory.

The things you do to spare your heart.

You were staring straight at the cream-colored walls, gears in your mind still turning when you heard the door open and then shut, the lock clicking just seconds later, but you stayed still, no movement, no noise.

It was a few minutes of him doing whatever it was he was doing as he walked around the room, into the bathroom and back. You couldn't see him as you tried and pretended to be asleep, your eyes faintly closed; only hearing his footsteps coming closer until you felt the other side of the bed dip. You can definitely feel his eyes on you, just staring, observing, and he was silent for a moment, until he lets out a deep sigh.

Tom knows you, of course he wasn't falling for your little act. "I know you're still awake."

"Oh yay, do you want a cookie for noticing?" You grumbled, still not bothering to turn around. Your back was facing him, but you can just picture him running a hand over his head, a little frustrated maybe, but nothing you can't handle.

"Are you mad at me?" You couldn't help but roll your eyes, your snark getting the best of you because he knows what's been happening the moment you two arrived, so it's only fair that he comes clean with it. "I don't know Tom, should I be mad at you?"

"I don't know too Y/N but judging by this barrier? You definitely are."

You couldn't stop your eyes from rolling again, just out of habit, even though he can't see it. You didn't even try to hide your annoyance as you exclaimed enthusiastically. "Great job! You want another cookie?"

"Y/N, stop with the damn cookies and just tell me what's up." You can hear it in his voice that he was getting riled up, and you want nothing more than to annoy the living daylights out of him, but when he gets heated, you tend to feed off of it too.

"Fine. I'll tell you alright." You tore the blankets off of you in haste, standing back on your bare feet as you glared at Tom who was sat across you, frown written on his lips with a little hint of annoyance still present all over his face.

You crossed your arms over your chest in mere attempt to look intimidating, trying your hardest to not get too distracted since the fucker didn't even have the decency to put a shirt on. "Maybe you should've given me a heads up when you're going to use me as a decoy girlfriend to appease your family."

Tom's face visibly softened at your words, a sigh was heard from him as he lowered his head to avoid your eyes. You stayed quiet and just waited for him to say something, it was after the count of ten—in your head of course—when he looked back up at you with an expression you can't quite read.

"Look, mum just assumed that you are. I definitely am not using you as decoy and I didn't tell them that you're my girlfriend." He reasoned, nervous hand coming up to rub on his shoulder, unconsciously flexing his bicep along the way and you hate how one little thing could affect you so much. You took a breath, replaying that you're mad at him over and over inside your head.

It was rare for Tom to ever lie, and when he does—in most cases—you would be the first to notice. He wasn't lying sure, but you still weren't convinced that he was telling you the full truth.

"But you didn't correct them and say that I'm just your best friend either." You pointed out as you narrowed your eyes at the boy. It was clear in the way he looked away that he was cornered, no more cards to show except for one that Tom wasn't ready to play just yet. Lying wasn't an option either so he tried to shift the conversation instead. "Well, neither did you."

You blinked, completely taken aback by his choice of tone, an accusing one that is. "Oh don't you dare try and pin this on me now Thomas."

Tom knew that his whole name coming out of your lips was warning enough, but being the idiot that he is, of course he decided to poke his head inside his ass some more instead of just being straight up and honest with you. "I'm just saying, you could've told them we weren't together but you didn't so this isn't all on me."

The glint in your eyes made Tom swallow the lump in his throat. But when you spoke with gritted teeth, that's when he knew he might actually have screwed things up. "Unbelievable. You knew how nervous I was to meet your family! How could I ever possibly tell them off? Fuck it, you know what? Don't bother me until you're ready to tell me the truth."

"Y/N—"

"If you do as much as cross the tip of your finger over this pillow I'm going to end you." The threat in your voice was clear and Tom could do nothing more but watch as you climb back in bed, pulling the covers over you rather harshly as you kept your back turned on him.

He laid himself down with a deep sigh, both hands finding its way on the back of his head as he stared up at the ceiling, stealing glances at your form every now and then. His frown only got deeper as the clock ticked by with you still paying him no mind. The silence in the air grew longer, even deafening to the point that it was driving him nuts.

Tom was well aware that you were still up because your breathing wasn't as steady as it should be when you're actually asleep. He knows you like the back of his hand, just as you do about him. Your every quirk, every habit, he notices every single one of them. It was easy for him to know what's been bothering you—well, in most days—and it's definitely easy for him to notice if you're pretending to be asleep, especially if he was just so close.

You had every right to be upset because he was so obviously beating around the bush. He knew fully well how much you hated it when someone isn't being completely truthful right up to your face or otherwise. To add to that, he just had to get in your nerves some more by pushing some of the blame on you too.

Tom wanted nothing more than to smack himself upside the head. He does deserve it.

But one thing for sure was that he shouldn't let this argument reach the morning. He just has to suck it up, gather all the courage he could muster and tell you the whole and honest truth, no matter the consequences. Even if he was putting your friendship at risk.

Slowly, Tom sat up as he leaned back on his arms, eyes casted at the girl who lay just beside him. "Y/N?" Silence. "I know you're still up." More silence.

Come on Tom, you can do better than that.

Swinging his legs off the bed, he stood fully up, quietly rounding the corner and walking towards your side. Tom was right when he suspected that you weren't asleep when you moved quiet abruptly. It was like your motion sensors were on high alert as you were quick to turn around before he could even reach you, keeping your back on him to purposely avoid him.

Crouching down so that he was almost the same level as the bed, Tom lifted a hand up to poke your arm gently, and when you didn't swat him away, he took that as a good sign.

"Y/N, just hear me out please." Tom softly cooed, finger running up and down your arm with a feather-like touch, soothing away your anger in mere seconds. He couldn't stop his smile from growing when he felt you slowly relax, and Tom knew it was only a matter of time before you finally give in. He always took so much pride on how you can't resist him for far too long.

"What do you want?" You grumbled, still not going through the hassle of turning to face him, but only because you know how close he just is. If you did as much as roll on your other side, your face would only be an inch or two from his own, and you aren't sure if your heart can handle that proximity.

"Just want to talk." You spared him a glance over your shoulder, seeing nothing but puppy-dog eyes staring right back at you with his full pout in play. "Please?" Tom added, and all you could do was groan in utter defeat, just knowing that he won't stop unless you talk to him. His stubbornness is one of the reasons why you're here, right at their house during Christmas, in the very first place.

You sat up and moved back until you were near the headboard, crossing your legs as you watch him sit on the space in front of you, right in arms-length.

Tom stared at you for a moment, head tilted to the side with a look you can't quite comprehend, but it did bring that certain flutter you feel in your heart whenever he looks at you, but this time, more intense. Even more so when he suddenly whispered, almost like a breath, his voice soft and gentle, tone laced in pure endearment when he said:

"God you're beautiful."

The warmth in your heart was quick to rise and spread to your cheeks. You willed yourself to think nothing more of his comment than just a poor attempt to distract you. "Tom, spill."

Tom shook his head with a shy chuckle, eyes casted down for a quick second before it was back on yours. "Right uhm, first off, I promise you, I didn't plan this at all. I was just as shocked as you were when mum called you my girlfriend. This was never my reason as to why I invited you here in the first place. And second..."

Trailing off his sentence, Tom slowly moved closer towards you. The sudden change in the atmosphere only made your heartbeat quicken, and when he reached out to take both of your hands in his, all your nerves were on an all-time high. "I didn't correct them and say that you're my best friend and that we're not together or that you're not my girlfriend because... I was uhm, because I really want, no, I don't want you to be." Tom's voice faded as he spoke the last part of his sentence that you didn't quite catch what he said nor did you understand. His eyes were now casted down at his fingers that were gently fiddling with yours, nervousness very clear in his touch.

You furrowed your brows at him, frown on your lips as you softly said. "You're not making any sense." This made Tom throw his head back with a groan, hands letting go of yours as he rubbed them on his face frustratedly. His eyes were shut tight as he mumbled to himself, but the fact that he was so close, you still heard it nonetheless. "Dammit why am I so bad at this?"

"Tom, why didn't you tell them I'm not your girlfriend?" You asked to try and pry the answer out of him, asking him the question that's been hanging over your heads the moment you arrived. Both his arms fell limp on his sides, and when his eyes met yours with a different glimmer coating them, you were nowhere near prepared by his confession.

"Because I enjoyed it okay? I liked the way it sounded when mum called you my girlfriend. I felt so happy just seeing you get along with my brothers instantly, even when the only thing they did was embarrass me. And when you didn't say anything? I was taking every chance that I could to soak it in while it's still there, to pretend to be your boyfriend because maybe it's the only chance that I'll ever get, even if it's not real." You stared at him in shock, words stuck in your throat as your brain still tried to process what you're actually hearing.

Tom's heart was hammering against his chest, loud and fast as he leaned closer, his shaking hand reaching out to hold your face, palm soft against your cheek, thumb stroking your skin ever so gently.

Your eyes blinked as if his touch brought you out of your thoughts. Confusion was written all across your features, a nervous chuckle escaping Tom as he continued, heart and soul poured into his words. "I was enjoying the moment because I don't want you to be just my best friend anymore Y/N, I want you to be more than that. I've had feelings for you for so long now and seeing you tonight with my family only just confirmed that I am hopelessly and deeply in love with you."

You shook your head at him, eyes closing as you tried to get a hold of your sanity, still unable to believe the actual words that came out of his mouth. Because Tom telling you that he loves you? Your best friend? The person who you've been in love with after all this time? It just seems too good to be true. "Don't even try and lie to me Tom."

"Why would I lie to you about this?"

"I heard you telling Harrison you didn't have feelings for me." The slight shake in your voice made Tom's heart ache a little. You were doubtful and Tom knows it's because you were scared of that he was just telling you this just because. He understands why, he knows about your past relationship, of course he understands. But he could never, in a million years lie to you. He never would.

"I was in denial because you don't feel the same way and knowing Harrison, he was for sure going to say something to you if I admitted to him my feelings then. I was scared that it'll ruin our friendship and fuck, maybe I just did right now and I'm just—"

"What makes you think I don't feel the same way?" You cut him off, so many mixed emotions rushing through you in a span of a minute. You were still suspicious, that’s what so much heartbreak can do to you, but that only starts to fade away once you think about who's in front of you. You trust Tom with everything that you are, and that always outweighs every doubt in your mind.

"Because when you—wait, does that mean what I think it means?" The realization that grew on Tom's face made him look ten times more adorable, hopeful eyes looking at you with that bright, charming smile slowly making an appearance.

You bit the insides of your cheeks to stop yourself from grinning, wearing the best poker face that you could to try and seem unfazed. You weren't giving him the satisfaction just yet. "Tom, answer my question."

He shook his head no with a sheepish grin. "But your question is suggestive. Why would you ask me that question if—"

"Yes, I'm in love with you too, you idiot."

Tom was quick to shush your giggles as he pressed his lips against yours, his hand finding its way on the back of your neck to keep your head in place. The kiss was everything you could have ever imagined it to be, so much longing and passion poured into it that it could only make your head spin and your heart grow.

You were consumed in nothing but bliss as his mouth molded yours, his hand finding your waist as he gently pushed you down until you laid flat on your back. Tom situated himself between your legs as soon as you wrapped them around his waist, your arms snaking around his neck to pull him even closer, a soft groan leaving him at the feeling of so little space between you two.

"You have no idea how long I've been daydreaming about this..." Tom whispered, his lips leaving yours as he slowly trailed down, placing a peck on your chin before his lips found its way down your neck. "...about kissing you..." You gasped as he gently nibbled on the skin, trailing even further down to your collarbone as he softly growled. "...all of you."

"I think I do." You breathe out, hand running up and down the back of his neck as he continued to litter you with kisses, some gentle, some... not so much. "Yeah?" The grin in his voice was clear as day as he looked at you through his lashes with a dark glint in his eyes, his hands sneaking under your shirt, fingertips touching you in a way that made goosebumps erupt on your skin.

"Hmm, I've been doing the same." You hummed. Tom's lips hurriedly made its way back on yours as he kissed you hungrily this time, teeth nibbling at your bottom lip before his tongue slipped its way in your mouth. You ran your hands down his bare torso, feeling every bit of muscle, from pecks to abs. It was ridiculous how your simple touch could turn Tom on so much, the blood rushing down that made his sweatpants grow tighter. "I wanna love on you."

You let out a soft moan when he suddenly rutted his hips once, only once to tease you and to tell you just how much he wants you. But as much as you want him too, you couldn't seem to forget about where exactly you two are. "Not tonight Holland. Your parents are right downstairs and your brothers are right across the hall."

Tom only chuckled lowly at that, burying his face back on the crook of your neck as he nipped at your soft spot, earning a gasp from you. "Guess we have to stay quiet then."

"Tempting, but I don't think I can, especially when it's you." You admitted coyly, Tom pulling away at your words as he supported himself on his forearms, eyebrow raised at you with the cockiest grin you've seen him wear. "Oh? Is that so?"

"So next time?" You smiled at him shyly, heat coating your cheeks as you brought a hand up to cup his face. Tom chuckled with a nod, leaning towards your touch like a puppy as he hummed. "Whatever you want love."

He pulled away from your grasp as he sat up, the sudden absence of his touch making your frown. Tom only flashed you a reassuring smile, grabbing the pillow-barrier just beside you and throwing it across the room, the space on the bed now bigger than before. "Won't be needing that anymore." His comment earned a hearty laugh from you, the sound melting Tom's heart as he looked down at you with pure adoration.

"You, my love, are the Best Christmas gift ever." Tom sighed as he leaned down to place a sweet kiss on your lips, snuggling himself back in your arms, face buried in the crook of your neck with an awfully wide smile that he can't seem to wipe off, not that he was complaining.

"Great, because I actually forgot to buy you anything." You teased, hand running up and down his bare back to which Tom could only sigh in pure content. "That's alright, you are more than enough."

"God you're such a cheese ball."

"I've finally got you after so fucking long, my cheesiness isn't going to run out anytime soon darling."

And after a few more giggles, teasing comments, lots of kisses with a sprinkle of 'I love you's here and there, the two you slowly drifted off with smiles on your faces, happy and grateful to be finally in each other's arms.

Christmas at the Holland's went way better than you thought it would.

-:-:-:-:-

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whats-rambled-rambled · 3 years

Text

Long Nights - playlist

You can find it on Spotify here.

Eddie Vedder - Long nights

I’ve already talked about it in another post a bit, so--

For the first time, I had a full series figured out even before I started writing. All the arcs, main plot points, even the final conversation! I even had a 3h long playlist with all the songs that would come in handy along the way, but still, none of them was the one (so basically same thing that happened with Smoke series)

I started thinking about the main theme and/or drive for our new Reader, and then it hit me. There already is a story with that vibe, and it has such an amazing soundtrack.

So I opened Spotify and browsed through the album.

And I found it.

The overall mood was not something that was going to be helpful at the beginning of the series, but oh my, those lyrics were it for all the things I had planned.

//Have no fear

For when I'm alone

I'll be better off than I was before//

That’s R, all right. Not afraid to be alone, she prefers it. Nothing can hurt her, unlike when she gets too invested. Commitment issues and whatnot.

//Long nights allow me to feel...

I'm falling...I am falling

The lights go out

Let me feel

I'm falling

I am falling safely to the ground//

Knowing what I was about to put R through, this looks only fitting, don’t you think?

Chapter 1: Sigrid - Don’t kill my vibe

I could see LN!R so clearly. I wanted to explore some of my favourite rogue tropes, and she was perfect for it. In my head, she was definitely younger than the other two from my previous series. A bold type, a joker, but serious when it comes to her craft. Not with the same heavy emotional baggage (not at the start, at least - I felt like, opposed to Smoke!R who was more about distracting herself when she felt too much, our new R would be more about denial, or hiding her issues behind her jokes).

I found this song on some random playlist, and I knew it was her.

//You shut me down, you like the control

You speak to me like I'm a child

Try to hold it down, I know the answer

I can shake it off and you feel threatened by me

I tried to play it nice but

Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Don't kill my vibe

Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Don't break my stride//

To me, that was that moment she gets dragged into the car. Not having the obvious lies TP feeds her, definitely finding them all and the stuff they throw at her hilarious, calling them out on their bullshit without thinking twice over it.

//Guess you're surprised I'm the puzzle you can't figure out//

That got me an idea for part 2 and the coffee situation - come on, you know I can’t resist that trope when it comes to Neil, I think it’s an excellent way to get to know the characters a little bit and tell something more about the dynamic.

Tom Grennan - I might

To me, it’s another character introduction song.

//Oh I love, oh I love, love my freedom//

....you already know what I’m getting at, right?

//Don't want no one taking up my time

Staying on my mind, changing up my life

Don't want no one messing up my bed

Fucking with my head, it's no lie//

That’s her. R hates to be manipulated, that’s why she’s mad at Mahir. I didn’t want to put all the angst here, but I knew there was something deeper hidden there, after his comment about her trust issues. I didn’t know what exactly, but I knew it would come in handy later.

There was one spin on the story I was playing with - where she actually lets them all lead her on for a while, a whole elaborate ruse to get her invested and onboard, but that was a lot of drama quite early on, and I wanted this to be a lighter series (oh shush, I am well aware how that played out in the end, I tried, alright? Not my fault I apparently can’t come up with a story without sprinkling it with a shitload of angst)

//But when you look at me like that

I might//

See, this is when I stopped. I didn’t think R would be falling head over heels for Neil right from the start. That’s why the heart beating faster at the end of the chapter was supposed to be about the lock and something finally sparking her curiosity, taking her out of the boredom of everyday life.

Kings of Leon - Find me

That’s more chapter-specific.

//I really wanna know your name

See your face, know who you are, who you are

How did ya find me, how did ya find me?

What are you looking for, are you looking for

How did ya find me how did ya find me

Up in the shadow, picking up my load//

I found it quite fitting the moment R meets Neil again and he drags her to a back alley, and then again, in the car. She isn’t scared, more like fascinated, she finds the whole thing exciting, even.

American Authors - I’m born to run

Oh my god, the vibe of this song! This is that need for freedom and carelessness I needed to tap into.

//I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run

I'm gonna spend my time like tomorrow won't come

Do whatever I want like I'm born to run

I wanna see Paris, I wanna see Tokyo

I wanna be careless even if I break my bones

I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run

All these things I've seen and done

I live my life like I'm born to run//

The Pretty Reckless - Prisoner

Another random song I found one day while I was cooking breakfast. I was like “oooh, I dig that!” and then I listened to the lyrics and I knew I needed it for this story.

//You could have my body

But you can't have me

I know I'm a criminal

Don't you tell on me//

That’s it. Her. I knew that would be handy for the moment Neil breaks after all the teasing. And that criminal bit. I mean - come on!

Missy Elliot - Work it

(This is technically part 2 but it was messing with the flow on the playlist and I’m leaving it here)

Okay, this is quite meta and corny, because this is probably one of the oldest jokes you can find for Tenet, and I’ve been battling with myself if I should even put it here, but I referenced it in the chapter, so here we are. I’ve loved this song for years, and when I was trying to think what would R listen to while she tries to clear her head while she works on the bloody inverted lock - that was the only thing that seemed appropriate.

//Come on

Is it worth it? Let me work it

I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it

Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gnaht ym tup i//

...you see what I mean?

Chapter 2: Praise you

God, okay, this song - when I heard it while I was working on the story, it brought a movie-like montage of scenes in front of my eyes. You know the type, when they try to show you how the time passes, how someone progressively becomes better at something. That was Neil, working on those locks. R giving him tips, then teasing him. The way he loses his cool, only to slowly gain confidence, and then how she ups her game, both of them getting their bits of satisfaction from the whole game.

//We've come a long long way together

Through the hard times and the good

I have to celebrate you baby

I have to praise you like I should//

Have I ever told you when exactly I got the idea for the series? When I was writing that hostage situation fic and the moment R remembers her lockpicking sessions. I thought - what if it was the other way around? What if that was Neil who was about to start learning about picking locks?

It had so much potential for ✨hand content✨ and how could I resist?

...And I knew that R would see what I’m seeing, and she would rather like it. And the image of a very flustered Neil while she teases the hell out of him? Yep, yep, yep.

Sam Fender - Start again

This one definitely starts that montage as well, the repetition of going over and over again. Even if the whole song is definitely heavier than I needed, I decided to keep it, mostly for this part:

//Let's start again

Let's learn to talk

Without the fear of being heard

'Cause everybody's listening to everything and everybody

Let's pull the cord

Move below

Let's start again//

Chapter 3: Billy Raffoul - Difficult

Ah, Billy. And when I found this one, I got goosebumps, because I instantly knew that if I had to choose one song for them, it would probably be this one.

//You never get lost in love, you only get lost in me

You never can get enough of whatever you think you need

No matter how hard I try I never can beat this rush

Ain't nobody get me high, feel lighter when we touch//

This fits them so well, innit? We know how R feels about this whole love thing, she enjoys a good shag, and I had a feeling that after such a build-up, that night together would be something quite amazing, for both of them.

//We never get lost in love, we only get lost in sheets

You'd rather just shut me off whenever we get too deep//

That’s the moment when they have a vibe check in the morning. They had fun. Is it gonna affect their dynamic? They’re attracted to each other, they understand one another. Can they keep it casual? We know that R can, or at least she thinks so, but what about Neil? We know he’s a soft idiot, but I specifically imagined a bit younger version of him for this story - he had to be, if he was just learning about lockpicking. So the whole “no dating, just sex” could be fine with him for a while, but would he catch feelings anyway? Probably, yeah. And sooner than later.

//And now I'm standing in the rain

And your hair, it's falling in your face

And I know we're doing the right thing//

Not the rain, but shower, kinda works too, right? And I already knew that the rain would be a pretty important factor a little bit further into the story.

//But I can't help wondering, who will take my place?//

Ouch.

//On and off, difficult

Too in love to let it go

Now, who's gonna hold me like you do?//

The emotions in this bit, dear lord. It’s this high that takes your breath away, sweeps you off your feet, scorches the reality, and leaves no survivors.

That being said, I don’t think they are really in love at this point. They really care for each other, though, that’s where the softness comes from.

//Hmm who's gonna hold you like I do?//

I literally gasped when I heard that last line. Hits right in the heart, just as I like it.

Rhys Lewis - Waking up without you

There’s something in this song that makes it incredibly sexy. It was great for the morning after vibe, where they don’t really have enough of each other yet.

//Skin on skin

We didn't finish what we started

Heart to heart

I'm missing your love//

Keir - Probably

The way it flows? How powerful the chorus is? It’s heavy, hot, and just makes my heart beat faster.

//Colliding were the walls

And I forget where I began

I wish I could remember love//

Holy fuck. It always makes me think of something awakening deep inside R, definitely not ready to be acknowledged at that moment in the story.

//Probably underneath

There's a remedy

Possibly in the air

In the oxygen I breathe

Probably//

And this part is just mind-blowing. There’s this longing there, and if that feeling isn’t perfect for something more steamy, then I don’t know what is.

Dermot Kennedy - Glory

This one just… expands my heart? I don’t know how else to explain it. Especially the chorus. And then when I think of it in the context of the story, I somehow place it in TP’s office, when Neil gets all protective and doesn’t want to risk taking Reader on a mission where something can so easily go wrong, only because he isn’t prepared enough.

//A set of eyes had pinned him

Became his version of a kingdom

She's everything the devil can't be

When she's singing to me "Glory"//

Maybe that’s when he starts to realize that he cares more than he thought.

Rhys Lewis - Living in The City

If the previous song was Neil’s perspective, we’re back to R. Just look at the lyrics:

//I've been living in the city too long

I've been given everything that I've got

Been a sinner and a saint

Crazy, and sane

I've been living in the city too long//

We’re kinda circling back to part 1, that need to skip town, right?

//There's a part of my soul that wants to let go

Wants to just run away

But the rest of my soul says I should stay

I should stay//

And now we’re back when she can say that the mission is not her problem, she did the best she could, and TP can go fuck himself. Is it just that she feels responsible for her student? Or she likes him enough so she has to make sure he succeeds and comes back? Or she sees a friend in need, something to open, and doesn’t think twice about it?

Chapter 4: Bastille - World gone mad

God, do I love this song.

//So this is where we are

It's not where we had wanted to be

If half the world's gone mad

The other half just don't care, you see

You don't want to fuck with us

British to the very last

When it feels like the world's gone mad

And there's nothing you can do about it

No there's nothing you can do about it//

It felt so accurate for the part when R gets to see all that inverted reality? There’s a slight heaviness of heart there, and it matches the mood when she feels overwhelmed. On the other hand, there’s a bit of hope, the feeling of not being alone in this mad world, and that’s all that matters.

Who’s Molly - Touch the sky

Badass. Pure and simple. It hypes you up, brings a smile to your face, makes you believe everything is possible.

//We can never see beyond that horizon.

And no one knows this road and where it's going to lead.

But there's one thing, one thing that's for certain.

We'll make it through.

If you were here with me.//

That softer bit with inverted guns. And later on, throughout the chapter. They both find comfort in each other’s presence on the mission, after all.

//I wasted so much time trying to find a meaning.

I never looked up, couldn't seem to turn around.

And then you crashed in, and you gave my life a reason.

You pick me up, so high and my feet won't touch the ground, no no no.

Never would have thought I could win this battle.

I was left for dead, every hope in tatters.

We're going to set the world alight tonight.

Cause we can touch the sky!//

That’s the excitement and fun they’re having on the training grounds, not at all stressed about what’s to come.

//Close your eyes, free your soul.

You feel it, don't try it, then you’ll never know.//

Ah, and we’re here at my favourite reference to feeling something, thank you Mr Nolan, sir, so useful.😌

Dermot Kennedy - Young & free

Another one by Dermot Kennedy, and definitely not the last.

//All that she said to me stays with me, never to die

Held me brand new in the silence that went through the pines

Like I said already darling, I don't want you looking back at all the ghosts left behind

Know you'll stay near me so road remains hopeful this time

We were young

We were free, come on now, let it go//

The little whiplash in the mud, where they share a short moment, before they follow with the crackheadery, maybe partly to push back from coming close to something more meaningful. Because it’s there already, kindling, waiting to be spotted and recognized.

James Gillespie - Don’t let me get me

Okay, so - the original song by P!nk was always something that resonated with me, so when Spotify recommended that one, I was like “okay, I’m not sure why but let’s try it.” And then it brought me to that scene in the container.

//I'm a hazard to myself

Don't let me get me

I'm my own worst enemy

It's bad when you annoy yourself

So irritating//

To be honest, I didn’t plan on R to have such a strong case of a mean brain. It was supposed to be a lighter series 🙃. But as you already know, those characters have minds of their own, and it kinda sorta happened. I knew it would be more of a simple panic than full-blown panic attacks that haunted StuckIn!R, topped with pretty loud intrusive thoughts causing her to spiral, especially when she was exhausted.

Ruelle - Oh my my

Listen to that one and tell me you don’t want to go on a sneaky mission, I dare you. I even had it noted as my title song, but then I switched to Bastille.

//I can feel it in my bones, in my bones

Hear it rumble like a drum, like a drum

Like a vapor in the wind, in the wind

You never see us creeping in, creeping in

Oh my my, oh my my

You never stood a chance

...

Ready or not, here we come//

The vibe is just amazing. The low-key hype? Is that a thing? It must be. And those drums! Even quite fitting for a patter of rain, one might argue.

Speaking of rain--

Chapter 5: Dermot Kennedy - After rain

The title alone is perfect for this chapter, but the rest of it - my poor heart. This chapter and the finale have some of the most beautiful and/or heart-wrenching songs I’ve ever heard, and this one is definitely one of them.

//But it's alright because

You cause lanterns to light

And force demons disperse

And if Lucifer may fear the swift drying of tears

Then, for evil, you could not be worse

But I see you now, yeah, I see you

And release me now, kinda like dreams do

And I see you now, was hard to see you

Just don't forget to sing

Remember everything//

So we have Neil storming off from the bathroom because he’s clearly going through something. The immense guilt brewing inside him, overflowing and backfiring, when he can’t cope with seeing her so battered, knowing that she may never fully recover, and just because he hesitated out there. The fear is there, but also other feelings he tries to keep in check now.

I had that image of R asking him to stay, then just breaking down in the darkness. I was aware it would only add to the issues Neil already had, but it would be nothing compared to the fact that she needs him, and he’d be ready to push everything that bothered him away to comfort her.

Humming a lullaby that he promised her in the container. And R recognized it (kind of), because he used parts of it to plead with her to stay with him after the fall, so she could one day hear the whole thing, because she took that rain check and she needed to cash it in, right?

...yeah, I like breaking my own heart, why? (should I write that part one day?)

//If you think just maybe it's her

Then promise me, young man, you're gonna let her know

You won't go lonely, yeah

It'll all be better in the morning

'Cause while you sleep, I'll build a wall//

Aquillo - Six feet over ground

Whenever I hear this song now, my mind goes to that scene in the bathroom.

//Today's the day I found myself alright

When I look ahead, pretend it never came.

I found a way to keep my head above

But the hardest part is to say 'No it's not'

Well I'm okay, and I'm still breathing

I'm still six feet over ground

But you don't need to know now

You don't need to know how I'm doing//

They both hide how they really feel. That they are not okay. They’re both scared, blaming themselves. Reader doesn’t want to worry Neil too much, but she also tries to convince herself that she is fine. And a moment of peace they share shatters as soon as she downplays what happened aloud, and when Neil goes off, she hides behind yet another joke, and then behind a blindfold.

Aquilo - Silhouette

The one for when R tells Neil goodnight and then can’t fall asleep. //Devil's on your shoulder

Strangers in your head

As if you don't remember

As if you can forget

It's only been a moment

It's only been a lifetime

But tonight you're a stranger

Some silhouette //

When he comes to check in on her, and something feels off. She’s lost, yet finds enough strength to ask him to stay.

//Just hold me//

Nathan Ball - Drifting

//I can see in your eyes

When you lie awake at night

You convince yourself you're fine, it's alright

To keep on drifting

With the drugs keeping you high

They catch you falling from the sky

I keep asking myself why

You stand by

And keep on drifting

…

So tell me what you hold inside

Tell the backstreets of your mind

You're still lonely as a child

Teary eyed

Kept on drifting//

Knowing our Reader a bit longer by now, I knew what would happen if she was to be left alone with her thoughts, in pain, and with Neil being weirdly distant.

Have you ever lied in bed, crying silently, trying not to wake up the person next to you but getting absolutely torn apart by the sadness roaring inside you? It’s a different kind of loneliness, not helping in the slightest when you’re biting back sobs. Anyway,--

//So take my hand and hold on

Take my hand don't let go//

That’s something that happened almost organically with these two. Part of their language, hand touches as a sign of support.

I gotta admit, I watched Shadow and Bone already being in the middle of writing the series and seeing how overused the hand-holding flashback was... it there made me slightly cringe every time it came up in the story I was writing later on. On the other hand (hah), it was so them. It had to stay.

Dean Lewis - Need you now - Acoustic

//Cold light wakes me in the morning,

Your side is empty I was calling out to you,

I was calling out to you.//

That’s the next day after R’s breakdown, but check out the next lyrics.

//But I don't need your love,

I just need your

Talking next to me when I wake up, wake up

Talking next to me when I wake up next to you,

When I'm hungover too.

Cause you're the only one who comes when I'm lonely,

You're the only one who comes when I'm lonely for you,

When I'm lonely for you.

All that I need is a sweet escape,

And all that I need is a sweet escape.

...

Cause I don't need your love

But I just need you now

And I don't need your love

I just need you now//

This, y’all, is R, still convinced that it’s not about love, and it’s so perfectly put into words, but the music and the vocals are dripping with longing, making it even more spot-on for the occasion.

RHODES - Breathe

The emotions captured in this… holy shit. They clench my chest and make me struggle for breath. This could have been a song playing in the background when R wakes up from a nap to Neil having a breakdown of his own.

//Mind break in two,

There's a light in the sky, there's a light

And it's all for you

Dawn colors all

Tell me how do you feel?

Tell me how do you need to heal?//

Looking for his hand, only to find a clenched fist. And when she realizes he’s been crying and she hears how broken he is, that’s enough to make her heart shatter, doubly so because he’s agonizing over something she feels responsible for.

//Breathe, release it all

Come on now, I'll keep you warm

Come on!

Breathe, release it all

Come on now, I need your love

Come on now!//

To me, every “come on”, repeated with urgency, is how desperate she is to make him stop spiraling down when she kisses him, and then again, more purposefully, until he gives in and comes back to her.

Circa Waves - Fire that burns - Acoustic

The one for ✨the moment✨.

//Comfort me, oh comfort me

I'm lighting up

To see the day you run for me

You run for me, my love//

Because they both seek comfort in the act, two broken people mending whole in each other’s embrace. Ultimately, finding there something more, whether they are ready to acknowledge it or not.

//But I've been tied up

For days

And I've been thinking of the things that you say

And I've been wound up

Each way

I need to let you know, to let you know today//

Neil already knows how important she is to him. And that’s what he tries to say between the choked-out words, that he thought he’d lost his chance to tell her how much she means to him.

//You call me a liar

You call me so innocent

But you lit the fire

You lit the fire that burns

The fire that burns inside us

I'm not innocent

I lit the fire, the fire, the fire

I lit the fire//

Oh yes, that bit definitely seeped into the chapter.

The XCERTS - Feels like falling in love - alternative version

//Keep yourself safe, keep yourself safe she said

You broke your own heart but there's no need to lose your head

Keep yourself sane, keep yourself sane he said

You gotta give up, give up, give up the dark

To start again//

You can see it, right?

Outlining the whole story, I knew that part 5 would be the part when they fall in love, or realize that they already might be.

//And it feels like falling in, falling in love

Yeah it feels like falling in, falling in, falling in love

Could save me tonight//

The 1975 - Fallingforyou

//According to your heart

My place is not deliberate

Feeling of your arms

I don't want to be your friend, I want to kiss your neck

Don't you see me I

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

And don't you need me I

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

On this night, and in this light

I think I'm falling (I think I'm falling), I'm falling for you

And maybe you, change your mind//

They’re so vulnerable there. Everything Neil pours into the act sweeps R off her feet and she opens up and to let him feel the extent of how much she cares for him, unaware that it might be shifting into something from the territory she promised herself not to venture into. Because that’s not important then. Nothing else is. Just them. So simple.

Adam French - Weightless

The light and softness in this song remind me of another Weightless I used for the finale of the Smoke series.

That’s the moment after. Softness. Closeness. Bliss.

//I told ya that you were the only weight on my shoulders

You see you're gonna make it alright

How you're gonna make it alright

When you're gonna make it alright, alright, alright

You say your body will

Hold me in the night

...

Only you can make me weightless

...

Closer is all I ever wanted to be

There for ya so you can be confiding in me

There to break the fall

Here for everybody to see

Weightless after all//

Chapter 6: Declan J Donovan - Perfectly imperfect

I had the moment they fall in love. I knew how it was gonna end, the conversation with Mahir and how it goes from there. I thought that we need some calm before the storm that was bound to happen, and what’s better than a little domestic fluff? A time when they can see each other in a different setting, get to know one another even better. Fall even harder.

And my god, this song.

//You live like you're a secret

One that only I could know

'Cause I said

You know what I want and

I know who you are

I know when I hold you and love you

You'll get up and go before you fall apart//

...that last line hits different when you know what’s gonna happen later, right?

//I'll bring you every colour that I find

In your eyes

You wake me up

And it breaks my heart

That you're perfectly imperfect

You're hurting but you're worth it

You don't know why

I would waste my time

But I'm falling and I mean it

I want you like I need it

There's nothing you could try to change my mind

'Cause I'm in love

So call me when you want me and I'll come running

Find me waiting at your door

So tell me if you're lonely and it won't last long

'Cause I'm in love with you (you)//

That light when the song gets to the part about being in love -- there’s so much tenderness there, and it resonated with the story so much. And the perfectly imperfect line, so so good.

Bastille - Survivin’

The way the song swings and the hopeful vibe is just what I needed for this chapter.

//And I'm not gonna lie

Say I've been alright

'Cause it feels like I've been living upside down

What can I say? I'm survivin'

Crawling out these sheets to see another day

What can I say? I'm survivin'

And I'm gonna be fine

I'm gonna be fine

I think I'll be fine//

As much as Reader didn’t want Neil to be there with her for so long, she really enjoys his company, making the boring and still rather painful recovery period easier.

Ella Henderson, Tom Grennan - Let’s go home together - stripped

Ha, this one! The humour when they tease other words always brings a smile to my face. That playfulness just fits our duo’s dynamic so well.

//Maybe you'll like me the way I am//

Crazy concept, right? And with Neil learning to spot the times when she hides behind a joke, and still being there--

//Feels like I know you so well

You could be everything that I've been missing

I'm coming out of my shell

And I never do that

How did you do that?

It's like I've known you my whole life//

That’s exactly how she feels like. She intently doesn’t think about it though, because if she starts overthinking it… we know what happens. She’s allowing herself to be in the moment, however. And happy.

//You seem like someone I could be myself with, no defenses

Maybe you like me the way I am//

That brings me to all Neil’s animated rants, and how much he appreciates that she always listens. He feels accepted, and I don’t know, it melts my heart a little.

//Baby, I'm in love//

🙃

INXS - Need you tonight

I know I used a cover of this song for another playlist, but the vibe was so different, and you just have to bear with me. It’s one of those songs that sparks the ideas and images, and usually, they involve Neil being a tease and having way too much fun. And as I was plotting the chapter, I thought of R missing out on his shenanigans, and how he could make her see what he was doing, and 😳 oh my. I knew the imagination would run wild. (That definitely might have something to do with a certain scene from a certain movie and a conversation I had with M about how Neil would handle it)

//So slide over here and give me a moment

Your moves are so raw, I've got to let you know

I've got to let you know

You're one of my kind

I need you tonight

'Cause I'm not sleepin'

There's somethin' about you, girl

That makes me sweat//

That’s one sexy song, don’t judge me.

Dermot Kennedy - Days like this

Oh, would you look at that, it’s Dermot again! This one is for that scene on the balcony.

That quiet contentment, like everything fell in its place and life is alright.

//When it's not always raining, there'll be days like this

When there's no one complaining, there'll be days like this

When everything falls into place, like the flick of a switch

Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this

When you don't need to worry, there'll be days like this

When no one's in a hurry, there'll be days like this

When you don't get betrayed by that old Judas kiss

Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this//

They’re in the moment, comfortable in the relationship that blooms between them. More casual and laid-back throughout the day only to get more soft and intimate in the evenings, when the inner demons’ voices grow louder.

James Bay - Chew on my heart - acoustic

The way the chorus explodes? It makes me beam widely and my heart is about to burst.

//Take your time

I'll be right here

I know no one could ever love me better

Take all night

You're the truth that

Is breaking me and keeping me together

Together

I wanna be in your touch

Sleep is so tough

You're burning up my mind

What would it feel like if you tore me apart?

Come on chew on my heart

...

I'm on fire

I'm a hot mess

I'm thinking things that I might start regretting

So hear me out

I need you now

I'm spiraling

I'm sinking down

Look for me I'm sending up a message

A message//

I think it weirdly fits those times at night when Neil checks the bruises. When their minds wander to that first evening, and they still feel bad about how it ended up, the closeness brings them back to the present and grounds them.

Picture This - Unconditional

This one just makes my heart sing.

//This magic, I don't know what it is but we have it

Even when we're sleepless and damaged

I don't doubt it

We're holding on//

That’s exactly it.

//Baby I wish we could take this feeling

And put it away somewhere safe

'Til we need it

Unconditional

I'm so afraid of losing your love//

They don’t need big words. But they feel it, all right. Whether they are aware of it or not. And they are afraid of losing each other, now that they know how easily that could happen.

//Shivers running down my back with your fingers

The smell of your perfume it lingers

And whispers

What I want you to say

Under your skin, underdressed under covers

We bring out the best in each other

Two lovers finding our way//

The kiss, the touch, the skin on skin contact - some of the most powerful reminders that, for now, they’re safe.

BANNERS - Start a riot

But it’s not always about going all the way, because sometimes you just need to be held. And this song just speaks to me of all that tenderness, all the feelings clenching the heart so much they’re unable to say a word, just want to keep each other as close as they can. Just to make sure they’re really there.

//I will march down an empty street like a ship into the storm

No surrender, no retreat

I will tear down every wall

Just to keep you warm

Just to bring you home

I will burn this city down for a diamond in the dust

I will keep you safe and sound when there's no one left to trust

Will you take my hand?

We can make our stand

If your world falls apart

I'd start a riot

If night falls in your heart

I'd light the fire

In the dark, when you sound the alarm

We'll find each other's arms

For your love, all you are

I'd start a riot//

The lyrics are so beautiful, and there’s so much longing there, and the promise to protect each other, to be there for each other, to face whatever life might throw their way together.

Yeah, it makes me emotional, I absolutely love it. Speaking of emotional--

Chapter 7: Stone Sour - Wicked game - acoustic, live

When Spotify recommended this one to me, I almost skipped it. I’ve heard it a million times in different versions and I thought that there’s nothing to be found there. Oh, was I wrong.

I knew what was going to happen in the chapter - Mahir is about to confront R, surprised by what he sees. And he can clearly recognize that they’re idiots in love, even if they’re trying to lay low in the company. He knows what happened to R, why she’s so cautious and reluctant when it comes to any relationships that are more than simple hookups.

//The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

And I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you//

Because that’s how it started, right? With desire. One could argue that our duo had solid banter before that, respect and understanding, all those things, sure. But ultimately, that was all that sexual tension, sparked by the playful teasing, that pushed them into each other’s arms in the first place.

//No, I don't want to fall in love

With you, with you

What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way

What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you//

And when Reader finally lets the thought in and it dawns on her that she is, in fact, in love - she goes into full panic. Not because she feels it’s unrequited, god, she’s not stupid, nor blind (too soon?). But she’s mad at herself that she allowed this to happen. She’s afraid that she’ll get hurt, and to avoid that, she has to run away. And that’s gonna hurt Neil as well, and she can’t stand that, hates herself for that, but she’s so scared that she can’t think of any other solution.

Before we get to that, however, there’s a bit more softness to be shared.

Lewis Watson - Little light

//And all this shade is, illuminating

And all those love lines, are taking shape

And all my worries, disintegrating

And I've been waiting, I've been waiting

And all my days were young and wasted

When I was waiting, oh for you

And all the plans that I've been chasing are always fading

But ever since I found you

A little light is breaking through//

Gotta admit, I had this one hidden in the playlists of other chapters, because it captures that feeling when your chest is filled with light and you’re simply happy. It ended up here, because it’s this feeling when R is melting a little inside when she looks at Neil, when she’s in his arms. And how Neil feels, too.

X Ambassadors - Renegades

Funny, I had this song for both times the team appears in the story. There’s this sense of camaraderie to it that I wanted to capture, when you’re with a bunch of people who are like family to you. You can tease them all you want, but at the same time you’d go into battle with them, knowing that you can count on them to have your six.

//Long live the pioneers

Rebels and mutineers

Go forth and have no fear

Come close and lend an ear

…

All hail the underdogs

All hail the new kids

All hail the outlaws

Spielbergs and Kubricks

It's our time to make a move

It's our time to make amends

It's our time to break the rules

Let's begin//

I wanted R to have a taste of that. To let her know that she’s appreciated for helping with the mission. To get to know them all better, and to make amends with TP, of sorts.

I didn’t want to make his motivation clear. He wouldn’t tell her that he knows how the story ends. That he can’t help that, deep down, irrationally, he made her responsible for it. Even if she’s not the one to blame. (And I don’t believe he let’s that happen, in the end, because that’s too much angst, even for me - again, fuck you, Mr Nolan, sir)

Corey Taylor, Dave Grohl, Rick Nielsen, Scott Reeder - From can to can’t

Christ almighty, this one is so raw! The emotional progression in here just blows my mind.

//Under the water

It's cold and it's grey

My torrid autumn

Another season decays

Open up the Hollow

And my walls come down

I tell you it's a problem

Just when no one's around

But then

I know what's wrong

God, you complicated everything

I know you're gone, gone, gone

This is where I will draw my line

I will draw my line//

To me, it’s the scene with R having a breakdown in the bathroom, and then somehow finding the solution. She has a plan, and enough strength and determination to pull through, at least for a moment.

Chapter 8: Dan Owen - Hideaway

I found this song by accident, and I almost screamed at how perfect it is for the finale (and then screamed for the second time when my dearest friend @connie-nikas casually sent me this exact song one day saying that it sounds like something I’d enjoy). The intensity just tears your heart out and makes you struggle to draw a breath, there’s something desperate to it, and I knew that it would be my go-to song for the part where R sleeps with Neil, trying one last time to drown all the pain and sorrow in his closeness.

I could just paste all the lyrics, to be honest, because that’s exactly what’s happening in the scene.

//It's a long way down

I keep backing away from the edge

And it's a slow burnout

Like the fires that rage in my head

And it's a slow cry out

When you've got so many tears you could die

And it's a long time to wait

When you take all my tears away//

Oh, she’s on the verge of tears, all right. Knowing quite well that as soon as Neil picks on them, he’s gonna stop to make sure she’s okay. That once he starts asking questions, she’s gonna fall into pieces, unable to lie to him.

//My body is colder

Time is frozen

All these feelings have poisoned my soul

And in silence no I can't stand it

Please break these chains and hell I can

Hideaway//

She’s scared that if she’s left alone with her thoughts, they will break her and make her stay. What she fears most (besides that she’s gonna end up betrayed, alone and heartbroken) is how Neil’s gonna react to her actions. The last thing she wants is to hurt him. She just hopes that maybe if she leaves now, it’s not gonna be as painful as it would be if she stayed a bit longer. That maybe he’s not fallen in too deep.

//You're my one way out

And my tears won't save me now

Save me now

I can't stand it

All this loneliness I feel

I can't do this alone

I need someone to remind my feelings

That I've fallen down by the door

It's a long way down and my tears won't save me now

It's a long way down

I keep backing away from the edge

And it's a slow burnout

Like the fires that rage in my head//

Macy Gray - I try

One of the first songs that came to my mind when I was composing the playlist for the series. It may be a tad too upbeat for my liking, hah, but parts of the lyrics are spot on, and it had to be there.

//I try to say goodbye and I choke (Yeah)

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke (Yeah!)

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near//

It makes me think of the time when they’re in the car. She’s going over the plan, kinda skipping the moment she’d have to say goodbye to Neil. That’s the unbearable part. And when he asks an innocent question and touches her, she crumbles and jokes. Partly to distract him from prodding further, but mostly to distract herself. I didn’t plan on them getting all worked up there, it...happened, but I figured it made for a decent ground for what was about to go down in the hotel room.

Belle Mt. - Hollow - acoustic

//She told me she was hollow

That's far from what I see//

That feeling you get when everything is too much and it leaves you hollow because you can’t take it anymore. A safety mechanism of sorts. It kicks in with Reader, and of course, Neil can sense that something is off. He hopes it’s just her being tired, he knows how she feels after spending too much time with people.

//I told her she was special

She almost let me in

But she couldn't bear the thought of digging up the heart that she's been burying//

We already know it. The thing is - Neil doesn’t. They haven’t really talked about it. Well, they did after the first night, but with all the things that happened later… and with how much affection she shows him? He doesn’t have a reason to suspect something this big.

//Lonely is her favourite

If only I could change it

If I could only save her

But sometimes she's lost, sometimes she's broken

Sometimes she's closed, sometimes she's open

Sometimes she's stone-cold, times she's on fire

Mostly she's everything I desire

Lonely is her favourite place to be//

Galleaux - Tether me

I had it on repeat when I was writing that part when R collapses in Neil’s arms when they’re in bed. Did I mention that I didn’t want Reader to be this emotional in the first part of the chapter? I thought she’d be more distant. Numb, even, here and there slipping up but holding it together until the very end. And then she does that. But it was Neil’s reaction that left me all 🥺. Not only me, apparently, because she let out so much there. I think my heart broke a little when she gave me that make love to me/love me/ never let me go part.

//In this space, do I belong?

It's dark out here in my own thoughts

Pull me back, out of my body

I'm tied to my limbs

They're spinning me out of control

Tether me//

And the way the music builds up only to blow up at 3:11, heavens, and those vocals! It just takes my breath away, fits so well there.

Nothing But Thieves - Lover, please stay

There can’t be a series playlist without Nothing But Thieves! And it’s another song Chels sent me. The way it broke me-- bloody hell. It’s that gentle guitar, it’s the raw emotions in the vocals, and those lyrics! It rips my heart out, in the best way possible.

It’s for that part where Neil falls asleep and R breaks down, fully realizing what she is about to do.

//Lover, I know you're weary

Eyes are tired from the night

Lover, come to the kitchen floor

Tiles are cold, so am I//

You bet your ass she’s having flashbacks to those moments on the cold tiles, but in her bathroom.

//Lover, I feel your sorrow pouring out of your skin

And I don't wanna be alone

If I am tonight, I'll always be//

Lonely might be her favourite place to be, but losing Neil by her own decision hurts more than she thought possible.

//So take from me what you want, what you need

Take from me whatever you want, whatever you need

But lover, please stay with me, oh//

You know what’s the worst, though? As if that scene was not heartbreaking enough, my brain decided to remind me how much it parallels part 7 from Stuck in reverse. Yep. ✨Pain.✨

Foo Fighters - Home

When she walks to her apartment. Crying. Broken. Missing him already.

//Wish I were with you

But I couldn't stay

Every direction

Leads me away

Pray for tomorrow

But for today

All I want is to be home//

About to leave for good.

This is the bit that prompted the final conversation. What even is home to her? Living the way she does, it never was something important. I struggled with that idea, I thought it’s too sweet. But Neil, the stubborn ass that he is, didn’t want to give me anything else, so it stayed - and in the end, I’m happy that it did.

BANKS - Someone new

Okay, this one is perfect with its sadness and longing, but it’s a hit and miss when it comes to lyrics. Take a look -

//I can love you desperately

Though your love ain't guaranteed

Oh, I wish you knew the deal

Gotta learn from far away

And I simply needed space

Space for me to be

And I think you need it too

Though I know you call me selfish for assuming

I did this for you too//

This, this, all of this! You see it, right?

//Everything I do, I'm gonna think of you

Don't know what else to do//

Well, one could argue that they could just talk it through without all the drama, but hey, where’s the fun in that? And running away really seems like the best option to R.

//And please don't fall in love with someone new

I promise one day I'll come back for you//

And here it’s off because I don’t think she plans on going back. So she wouldn’t want him to not fall in love with someone else, because why would she? He deserves to be happy.

//Oh, you say you hate me now and you burn me with your words

Calling me a fool

Saying that I've fucked up everything

And you'll never forgive me//

See, I have a few options for what to do when Neil finds her at the riverside. I knew one thing though - it would never be a full-blown argument and accusations. At first (and when I say first I mean before I actually started writing chapter 1, because I already had the last scene plotted out by then), I thought Neil would be calm, with a kind of “I know you love me too, silly, so what on earth are you doing?” vibe to him, to R’s annoyance. Then, the story became heavier, and I knew Neil would be worried. Lost. Confused. But never to the point of losing his temper, not after that one time in the bathroom. And that’s what happens in that scene. He doesn’t know what to do as he tries to make some sense out of it all.

Agnes Obel - Riverside

//Oh my God I see how everything is torn in the river deep

And I don't know why I go the way

Down by the riverside//

As I mentioned, I knew what I wanted for the final confrontation from the start. That’s why I tried to make that river quite important for both of them, weaving it into the story here and there. That’s why they instinctively go there.

Billy Raffoul - Dark four door

There’s this sad acceptance in this song that just breaks my heart. It makes me think about the moment when Neil wakes up and sees that she’s gone. How he doesn’t know what’s going on, and how his mind slowly connects all the things that felt strange, but he’s unwilling to accept it until he checks Reader’s place. And much it costs him to keep it together when he sees that the bag is gone.

//You got up, you felt you should

I keep trying to myself I would've done the same had I could

I never thought that you would//

Chris Cornell - Before we disappear

Whenever I hear this song, I think of Neil standing there with Reader, hurt, trying to understand what went wrong.

//So how hard can it be to share your life with me?

How hard can it be to rise with me each morning?//

Dermot Kennedy - A closeness

The last one by Dermot. If that isn’t their conversation--

//Keeping her bright eyes focused on the coastline, waiting for you

Isn't she all of us pining for that last kiss

A permanent truth, a means to get through//

Why does she stay up for so long in their spot? Does she subconsciously count on him to show up? Unable to let go, once and for all?

//Deep into the night, eyes closing

Heart swollen with my loving for you

A solid embrace, kind face

And then the hurt starts leaving the room, followed by goons

Sometimes it's open wide and lights the road at night

You've got a heart like the moon

Gather courage, if you're doing something, do it

'Cause she got to go soon//

And when Neil sees her, he wants nothing more than to hug her, he’s so relieved. But then she snaps at him, and he can’t believe that she’d actually think that he planted a bug on her to track her. It’s another wound he didn’t expect, but he waits for her to explain her actions before he lets out how much it all affected him.

Ryan McMullan - Outcry

I was close to making this one a title song for the chapter because as Hideaway sounds like it was written for the time they make love, this one is for the time Neil asks why she left.

//You came a long way to see me

So don't you run off, baby stop pretending that you're fine

What's the point that you're making

Tell me what it is that's going 'round inside your mind

If in doubt, don't fake it

I have known you long enough to know that you can't lie

If you're in love don't be ashamed of it

'Cause even angels fall for demons//

God, of course he saw that she wasn’t alright that night, but she seemed so sure about what she needed that moment that he decided not to push her - they had all the time in the world, he could ask her about it in the morning, right?

And Neil knows when she’s hiding behind jokes. That’s why he doesn’t want to play her game when she deflects what he says about the way she was in bed. He wants her to be honest. Especially since he knows what he saw in her eyes, in her actions, when they were together, and he’s sure it all must have meant something to her.

//I've heard stories, but they're jaded

So give me something more

I only know what I've been told

But I can tell that you're frustrated

And I won't ever pry, I'll only be a hand to hold

If you tell me you're hurting

I'm hurting too, yeah

Don't tell me you're fine - unless you're fine

I'll wait for the outcry

Whenever there is something weighing on your mind//

And Neil knows he can’t pressure her, that’s why he just stands with her and waits. Sweeping his mind over and over again for anything that could have prompted this whole mess.

//If you feel like leaving

Then maybe it's for the best

Or if you feel like you've given in

Oh, give yourself a chance

If you feel like crying

Oh please don't hold it in

If you feel like reaching out oh

Let me in//

His heart is aching when he hears her reason why she feels like she has to leave. That’s when he touches her. To pull her back from her head to something real. To remind her that nothing has changed. That he’s there, and not going to let her go that easily. That he loves her, because he needs her to hear it, so she knows for sure. And when she tears up, there’s only one desperate plea in his mind.

Gavin James - Hard to do

One heavy hitter after another, and this is another killer. The longing in Gavin’s voice clenches your chest and you just want to hide in somebody’s arms.

//Oh, I've been thinking that I don't wanna leave

This house isn't home to me

I'm tired of losing everyone I see

Now that you're here, it's a hard thing to do

Trying to hold on//

Does she really want to leave? She feels she has to, but god, if only she knew for sure her heart is safe, she would stay with him forever. The problem with life is - you can never be so sure. And when Neil shows up… it takes everything, even unreasonable anger, to keep her together.

//Maybe I don't believe that I don't wanna run

But two hearts are better than one

You say you'll stick around but I'll be gone

Oh, I'll be gone

It's a hard thing to do, trying to hold on//

Reader knows that it’s gonna be nearly impossible to walk away now. And she’s afraid.

//Oh, but I need you

Far more than I ever want you

It's such an unnatural thing we do

When falling in love's just so hard to do

Hard to do//

She can’t bring herself to look at him after she tells him what’s going on with her. But when Neil touches her and takes her hand, she can’t keep it inside anymore. Then he tells her that he loves her, and everything floods her at once. Fear. Guilt. Love. All that combined with his simple plea is enough to finally make her give in.

Damien Rice - I don’t want to change you

I had it on repeat since the moment Neil touched her. The softness of what happens there, melting the barriers once and for all.

//Wherever you are

You know that I adore you

No matter how far

Well, I can go before you

And if ever you need someone

Well, not that you need helping

But if ever you want someone

Know that I am willing//

He’s there for her. Always has been, always will be.

//Oh, and I don't want to change you

I don't want to change you

I don't want to change your mind//

Here. I think that’s what is really important about them and their relationship.

//I've never been with anyone

In the way I've been with you

But if love is not for fun

Then it's doomed

'Cause water races

Water races down the waterfalls//

Lucy Spraggan - Run

Ha, this kinda feels like an end-credits song, don’t you think?

//I just to run to the end of the world

Just to see if it's possible

I don't care what I've been told

I want to run to the end of the world

I'm going to run,run,run

Bye bye problems

Run 'til the road hits the sea

You better run,run,run

If you want to be free//

Granted, she didn’t run off without Neil, but found a way to run with him instead. There’s that heart-bursting light and freedom in this song, I think it captures that happiness they found, working it all out in the end.

//I wanna feel invincible

One more mile out of principle

I want to see the whole damn world

One cross road can change it all//

Travelling the world. Doing what they like most. Together.

------

Quite a journey that was.

Thank you all for taking it with me.

#long nights #long nights playlist #bts long nights

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angelkurenai · 4 years

Text

Imagine getting stuck with Dean in a cabin while it’s snowing heavily outside and having to find a way to keep warm.

If anyone ever told you that you'd soon, very possibly, find yourself half naked and pressed flush to a very much nearly naked Dean Winchester you'd have asked where you had to sign up for that. In your head at least. Because there was no way you'd admit to harboring such desires for the older man, even if he had had no trouble being open and proud of his attraction to you. True, it was mostly directly towards you when he tried to flirt, but that didn't mean he'd had any trouble speaking about it. With such a reputation as his, though, you had promised to yourself he wouldn't get a chance with you until you made sure his feelings were true. If somewhere along the way you'd figured out they indeed were and you enjoyed teasing him a little too much, that was a whole other thing. It was both real fun.

The opportunity to be intimate with the man, as appealing as it was and oh was he really the epitome of temptation, was however quite different from the one that could take place at the moment and certainly not one you or anyone else would have had in mind.

It was certainly far from the one you'd prefer, even if true to your word you kept turning the man down. How you had the heart to so even in a situation as this you didn't know but, on the other hand, the worst was over with. And if Dean pouting like a little child at you and teasing you like that was any indication, then he wasn't going to be the one to die any given second and it was the greatest relief.

“You're a heartless woman.” the man scoffed, snuggling even more with the blankets youd piled on top of him. You, as always for the sake of your sanity, ignored him as you poked the fire to make sure it didn't die out while you were busy keeping yourself warm and exploring the place for search of some food.

“Am I now?” you asked, not meeting his eyes as you kept your tasks up “Darling, perhaps you'd like to take another dip in the frozen lake I pulled your ass out of or will give that another thought?”

“You say that like I did it on purpose.” he said with a gruff voice, his words muffled.

“Do I look like I care? You were a reckless idiot as always and ignored every warning I gave you, Dean.” you shot him a look over your shoulder “So, after the stupid shit you pulled with the vamp I think I ought to leave you in the woods, in the cold-ass snow, for some poor wolf to pick you apart instead of let you take up that precious bed.”

Yeah, perhaps the worry and scare he had given you did give you every reason to want to keep your distance from him at the moment, even if he called you heartless. Unlike any other time, this wasn't about teasing him by denying him.

You thought you'd lose him, getting his body out of there and inside the cabin before his heart stopped altogether had felt like the most difficult task of your life, while waiting for the color to return to his face and his body temperature rise even in the least bit had seemed like an eternity. For what you were all-but-stuck in this place, with no means to contact Sam or find any clue as to where you were or how to get but to civilisation, not to mention the freezing cold outside hindering every attempt to get far away, you were thankful for this small place and even more for having survived.

“Or-” he dragged the word, his smile getting bigger as peeked over the blankets “You could just make your way in here with me and take me up on my previous offer.”

“Or I could just stay here, perfectly fine by the fireplace and enjoy my peace while saving some energy.” you shrugged, hugging the blanket tighter to you “You do understand we're meant to save as much energy as possible, right? Much as this cabin is ideal, with warmth and food, we can't stay here forever. We will be leaving this place sooner or later and the temperatures out there won't in our favor.”

You knew you were mostly mumbling as you searched through the drawers of the abandoned place, so far having been lucky in that search, that you almost didn't notice your own words before Dean was speaking “Well, that wasn't exactly what I was trying to imply.”

The fact that you could hear the smirk in his voice made you turn your head to face him. Indeed you saw his grin that made you realise it and you groaned “Seriously, Dean, on the brink of death and back and you won't stop? Really, just get some rest there and don't speak for the rest of the evening.”

“Hey, I've been more than on the brink of death plenty of times before. For one. And for another-” his grin got bigger “What? You said it. Besides, if you want to save energy, I'm great at it. I can go slow. As slow as you like, save up some energy.”

“I bet you will” you couldn't help the grin, though you didn't let him see you “Given that you'll only get to do that in your dreams. Now, do me the favor of going to sleep.”

“As I said: heartless.” he huffed like a stubborn kid “I'm still fairly sure that if you were in here we'd both be much warmer much sooner. Heck, I'd have recovered much sooner from nearly freezing to death and you'd have an extra hand in getting everything sorted out sooner.”

“I'm well aware that exchanging body heat is a key to surviving such conditions but-” you turned to face him with a smirk “This is not a movie, Dean. In fact it is unlike every movie you might have seen. Pardon, adult movie. Because I assure you, it would certainly not have the same ending you might hope for.”

“I'd be pleased with just the beginning too.” he said with a cheeky grin “I mean, come on, you said it yourself that it is simply exchanging body heat. It's perfectly normal to want to survive. So what if we will need to be wearing the minimumthings possible? It is all in the name of staying alive.”

“So is keeping your mouth shut at this moment, trust me.” worried as you might have initially been, now you could pretend to be mad at the man all you wanted after you made sure he was alive.

“Besides-” oh of course he wasn't going to “I see you had no problem undressing me to begin with.”

“I had to get you somewhere dry and wet clothes would only bring down your body temperature.” you gave him another look which he only rolled his eyes at “And now, since you won't be doing me the favor of sleeping- What kind of tea would you like?”

“Come again, tea?” Dean raised an eyebrow at you and you would have almost missed the horrified look on his face if you hadn't turned to glance at him in that moment.

You couldn't stop a chuckle “Yes, some tea. Whoever lived here before us had a great variety and stock of it as I see.” you glanced at the cupboard again “I think I could heat up some snow, since it's our only resource of water, and get us some tea ready.”

“The mere fact-” and now there was disgust which seemed even more hilarious “That you'd suggest tea to me makes me think that the temperature has gotten to your head. So thankfully for you I'll forget your rejection to join me in here for now. Also-” he plopped back down, bringing the woolen blankets over his head and said in a muffled voice “No!”

You couldn't help but sigh as you made your way towards the man, unwilling to let him have it his way by pulling the covers down a bit so that he was looking at you “I think I didn't make myself clear enough. I wasn't asking if you want tea, you idiot. I asked what kind of tea you want. You're having that, whether you like it or not.”

“I don't.” he mumbled too adorably for you to keep a straight face at the moment.

“Too bad, you're having it.” you gave up on trying to get an answer from him “We both do. I certainly could use something warm in me.”

Again, maybe you should have been more focused on your words rather than tending to the man or getting carried away by him, but what could you do now?

“I'm warm.” he said at once, his voice a small rumble but the small smile on his lips very obvious “And I'd love to be in you. Matter of fact, I'd raise no objection. Have me inside you all you want!”

“Oh my goodness, Dean- Why did I even bother asking?” you nearly exclaimed, shaking your head as you walked away from him, before muttering “I'm pretty sure the tea won't complain either.”

“Ah but you never know. Do you have any idea how it feels about this whole thing? Maybe it feels used!” he said with a grin and you only shook your head, not saying a word “See, you even don't have an answer for that. That's what I'm saying. The best option is still me and I'll never even complain! Who needs tea?”

And really, how could you argue with that kind of reasoning?”

…

“Fine, I'll choose for you. Chamomile it is.” you mumbled “Honey? Sugar? I see some here.”

“Pet names already? We haven't even both gotten on bed yet.”

#supernatural #supernatueal imagine #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural one shot #supernatural x reader #dean #dean winchester #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean imagine #dean winchester imagine #dean fanfiction #dean winchester fanfiction #dean one shot #dean winchester one shot

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starr-fall-knight-rise · 5 years

Text

Humans are Space Orcs, “Black Tie.”

I hope you guys like this. Writing has been weirdly difficult for me these past few days, so I sort of hope it isn’t showing lol

This is a little peak into the way that humans try to subtly one up each other in social situations, so Karma is fun :)

Krill was mildly uncomfortable, and so was Sunny. They had all been invited to what the humans described as a “black tie” event on mars mostly for political delegations, rich sponsors, a couple of famous people, and the occasional member of the UNSC or the GA. Most of the GA reps were Rundi since they tended to like this political sort of thing. There was at least one Tesraki, who had made the executive decision to come since he saw financial opportunity in getting to know some rich humans.

Sunny had been invited to stand in for the Drev counselor, who could not attend due to some issues back on Anum. Dr Krill and Dr. Katie had been invited to attend the event in case medical personnel were required for any reason.

Adam was the only one who had been invited for himself.

The black tie event had been sent by way of a physical letter which Adam had called, “Excessively pretentious.” in a day and age where everything was sent electronically. The fact they had managed to get a letter to him out in the middle of space in the first place was pretty impressive.

Sunny hadn’t really known or cared what all of this meant, but Adam had been nervous and very serious about the dress code. Despite thinking the entire thing was pretentious, that didn't stop him from immediately sending away for his mother’s help.

Sunny was, of course, encouraged to wear ceremonial formal armor to the event.

Krill was keeping very close track of this odd human behavior constantly asking questions as Adam was preparing himself.

“Why don’t you just wear a regular suit?”

“Because that would be a social faux pas.”

“A what?”

He sighed, “I don't know, it's french or something. I think it’s a ballet term. IT just means it would be a social screw up and people would totally judge me for it.”

“They would judge you for wearing the wrong thing?” Krill wondered curiously.

Adam nodded, “That is the point of these parties, and has been for the last two and a half thousand years. These parties are honestly just the biggest pissing contests where people try to out dress each other in subtle ways, and the old people who know what they are doing make fun of the new people for having no idea how to do it properly.”

Krill looked interested, “how fascinating. So it is a way to show your status subtly.”

“Oh yes. Status is a big deal. It started to go out of style for a while, but this whole adherence to dress code has come back with a vengeance in the last few years. The fashion world has seen an upheaval in pretentiousness, and celebrities have been laughed out of parties for trying to be avant-garde.”

“To be what?”

“Sorry, pretty sure that’s also french too. It means new, interesting, or out of the ordinary usually to make a statement.”

Sunny leaned in a little, “And they expect an air force commander to know how to properly dress for black tie?”

“They don’t, which is why they invited me. I am supposed to make others look good by looking bad. Of course I also make them look good by being invited in the first place. Of course joke's on them because i have a secret weapon on my side…” He patted the front of his shirt, “Thank you mother.”

“I am now confused.”

Adam waved a hand, “Yeah, I know, It’s pretty stupid

“I thought you recently decided that you like dressing up.” The human turned in place a couple of times in front of the mirror trying to get a better view of himself, “Correction, I have always enjoyed dressing up -- got that from my mom -- what I don’t enjoy is the pissing contest that comes along with it.

“What is that?”

“Bow tie.”

“You look like someone’s Christmas present.”

He adjusted the bow tie, “Well than someone is getting a sexy as fuck Christmas present now aren’t they.”

He buttoned up the front of the ‘waistcoat’ and pulled on the jacket.

When he was done, the two aliens had to admit that he really did stand out, all in black black pants black tuxedo jacket, cuff links, black tie, black waistcoat, and a purple/blue carnation threaded through the buttonhole on the lapel.

His shoes were almost as reflective as the mirror behind him.

“How do I look?”

“Like a goofy idiot, but the suit wasn’t going to change that.” He lifted a finger to flip Sunny off.

“Not very dapper of you.” Katie said from the doorway.

They looked up to see Katie, who had also commissioned a dress from Martha, and honestly made Adam look a little plain.

“Ready to go.”

“As I will ever be.”

***

Krill kept a shrewd eye on all the strange human protocols. As far as dressing up went Krill could immediately see who the in-crowd included. Ost of those people understood the rules Adam had laid out for him wearing the proper evening attire, where those not in the-in wore clothing that approximated the rules but missed them on several occasions.

The way the evening was set up was a little bit more like a ‘ball’ as Adam described being announced as they were walked in, and then ordered to mingle with the crowd. Adam and Katie got a few glances from the in-group who seemed surprised that a simple ship captain would known anything about formal evening attire.

Sunny just found the entire thing hilarious. All of this subtle dressing up to impress each other.

If Drev held balls, instead of dancing they would probably just beat each other to death.

But here, there were a lot of subtle clues and hints that went right over her and the Doctor’s heads, while Adam seemed to know what he was doing.

As they walked in waiters offered Adam an alcoholic drink, while Krill received water, and sunny a rather strange tincture that was generally just water with plant flavoring. It was pretty good though so she didn’t complain.

They were met on arriving by the event coordinator whose eyes opened wide when she saw Adam pausing and holding out a hand.

Due to the conflated and rather twisted nature of black tie events in the future, Adam took the hand, and bowed a bit lowering his head, a strange area between the less formal handshake and the more formal kiss on the hand, which was also not a thing in societies post WWIII

“Commander, I… you look…” She trailed off

Even to sunny it was clear the woman hadn’t expected him to know anything.

He smiled icily at her.

Krill leaned in in fascination.

This was one of the most intriguing parts of humanity. The polite way in which they were totally rude to each other, “Well than you. My mother has a Ph.D in the information age and a masters in historical fashion.”

That shut the woman up and she politely dismissed herself walking away straight back.

Adam smirked, “Her dress isn’t the right length for an evening event.”

“I thought she coordinated the event.” Sunny muttered

“She couldn’t coordinate herself out of a paper bag.” He winked at Sunny and Krill, “You can’t out-dress the son of a historical fashion expert. Simply not possible, she even used the correct materials.” He tugged lightly at his jacket.

Dr. Katie had disappeared on entry leaving the three of them to wander about the room as Adam pointed out the other important people.

There were a few military commanders, rundi, and the aforementioned Tesraki. There were at least five major political leaders, and even larger handful of actors who had their hands in charities or political causes related to the event.

Adam was only halfway through his first drink when he was waylaid by one of the younger actors. Even Sunny could tell straight off that he was not dressed appropriately. He had clearly tried very hard, but his efforts were in vain. While everything looked alright from a distance, up close something was wrong about everything. The material of his jacket, the style of his shirt, the type of pants, the lapels on the coat, and even the patterned pocket square which should have been a solid color but wasn’t.

He was joined by another group of men who then began some pretentious conversation about noticing how Adam was new to these sort of events. The way they spoke made it pretty clear they had no idea who he was or what the proper dress code was either.

Adam smiled and didn’t say anything.

“And what do you do for a living?” One of them asked

“Simply a UNSC representative.”

“Ah that explains a lot.” They glanced down at him with pointed looks

The conversation continued. Sunn wondered why Adam didn’t just shut them all up by telling them exactly who he was, but Krill had a theory that Adam was just playing with them as a human way to build up the moment so that he could socially crush them.

As humans do, their conversation wandered until it eventually moved around to the UNSC and other related topics.

One of the men nodded knowingly, “I am somewhat knowledgeable on the subject myself.” Adam raised an eyebrow.

“Are you?”

“Well yes, I have a brother in law who flies shuttles and planes for the UNSC. Tell me, what is your opinion on the D-4 class engine on a F-90 darkfire. I honestly think they are rather overpowered for what is being asked of them.”

Adam frowned, “The darkfire doesn't have a D-4 engine. That is a warp classification which-”

The man raised a hand, “No no. I heard my brother in law talking about it. Personally I think they should have just kept the jet engines they would have been plenty enough power to make it into orbit.

The Commander’s face scrunched in confusion as he shook his head, “No, it's a fusion engine, and the jet engine can’t fly in the upper atmosphere because there is no lift-”

“Look, Adam, was that your name. I generally tend to know what I am talking about. The darkfire jet engines would have plenty of power to make it into atmosphere,”

“But its a jet engine which implies it is for a plane and not for a rocket-”

The guy cut him off again and continued to ramble onward about how he took some engineering classes in college and would know what he was talking about. Since Adam Joined the UNSC and didn’t go to college, that he probably didn’t know anything at all, or at least that is what they said in not so many words.

Sunny was getting a bit annoyed and would like to have squished the guy, but Adam just shook his head at her.

She stayed silent and grumpy as the other men continued to correct Adam on knowledge of his own favorite aircraft.

“My brother owns a spaceship with a class E warp core one of them boasted.”

Adam rolled his eyes, “There is no such thing-”

“My brother owns the craft, I am pretty sure I know what I am talking about. It’s one of the most powerful cores in the galaxy.”

“Um, I don’t think.”

“Yes the E is more powerful than the A. A ship like the Harbinger or the Enterprise would only make it part of the way across the galaxy but the-” He kept going.

Adam looked like he was dying but why didn’t he say anything.

It was just then that someone appeared from the crowd. Sunny recognized a political figure they had met at GA summits on occasion.

He raised his glass and stepped into the group, “Ah commander! I am glad to see you could make it.”

The group of men glanced at each other in confusion.

Adam nodded, “It’s good to see you two counselor.” He motioned to the group we were just having a fascinating discussion on warp engines.”

“Oh yes.” He turned to look at the men, “Than I am sure the commander has told you about his escapades as a darkfire pilot.”

The satisfaction Sunny got from watching their faces was priceless, almost orgasmic. She could tell from the look on Adam’s face that he was feeling similarly, “Well no we had not made it to the subject, “I was just going to explain to them how the duel E 20 engine has both a jet engine and a fusion engine. The jet engine for flying in atmosphere and the Fusion engine for moving out of atmosphere considering that the jet engine is not powerful enough to lift the craft without air buoyancy.”

Sunny was laughing on the inside.

“Ah yes. I seem to recall a discussion along those lines. Tell me commander, what about the Harbinger’s engine is it a class A-1.”

Adam nodded, “Could potentially get you to the other side of the universe if you asked her. The classification system is A-D 1-4 on each, so my ship has one of the most powerful engines mankind has ever bothered to build.”

He glanced out of the corner of his eye and the other men who were beginning to slink away.

Sunny chirped in pleasure.

The rep nodded as they left, “I heard the futility of your conversation from the other side of the room.”

“Thanks for the help. I was dying inside.”

The two men laughed and took their drinks.

Krill was very pleased with his examination on how humans subtly tried to one up each other with their dress and understanding of certain topics, though it seemed odd to him that someone would claim to be an expert when it was, in fact, their brother or brother in law who knew about the subject and not them.

But he supposed that was the social nature of humanity.

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