#but the other half that is much more influential is this man is an unknown entering her life and what if he DOES take her away or ruin her

[oozywoozycon]

sooooooooooo fascinated by ‘the gang breaks dee’ episode bc it says SO MUCH ab the relationships ??? ? ? ? ??????

mostly regarding dee and dennis’ relationship BUT i can’t stop thinking ab it

his desperation at her seeming to pull herself out of the pit w the rest of them bc she was always down there with them, she was always just that bit lower than him, and she always fucked it up for herself first but he could step in to make it worse if necessary but for the first time it’s not fucking working and she’s getting away and why isn’t it working why isn’t it working why isn’t it —

anyways just like obviously the whole crew is massively codependent and toxic 💕🧚✨💖 and that’s nothing new, that’s like the premise of the show

and if any of them started to seem to get their foot out the door, the rest would put their all into pulling them back in or chopping off that foot, whatever needs doing to bring them back, but this episode is so interesting bc since the other three are in on it, it’s only dennis who’s spiraling and boy he’s spiraling so bad

i NEED to see them as kids i MUST witness their elementary school dynamic (tho i must admit it has likely not evolved since grade school) it is FASCINATING

[elioslover]

Green-Eyed Monster- Harry Styles x Reader (kiss prompt).

[Premise: Harry has been pining over his best friend's older sister for as long as he can recall. Here's some angst when the band goes on hiatus].

Prompts: "You're jealous, just admit it, you want to be the one kissing me." // “If you wanted to kiss me, all you had to do was ask.” 

Word count: 2.6k.

More Grapejuice / Other Writing

🍷 the guest 🍷

There is no reason for you to feel as bent out of shape as you are in this very moment, zoned out of a conversation with an old friend because standing behind her is the man himself- leaning against the balcony with a collection of adoring guests gathering near, Harry Styles. 

Harry Styles; whose boyband had just announced a hiatus. Harry Styles; is properly back in his hometown for the first time in half a decade. Acting- as you deem- far too nonchalant for someone as global as he seemed to be. He had simply slipped back into his old groove as if no time had passed at all. 

But all you can think about is how much time has passed. Harry seems almost unrecognizable- hair and tattoos only increasing in length and number. It’s only when his face takes intervals to crinkle with glee- smile cheesing, eyes squinting with joy- that you see the Harry you’ve known so long it feels as if life never existed before him. 

Even as his life is about to change completely- a whole new chapter challenging his past and now his future- Harry seems to have little reservation about embracing happiness. Perhaps his nonchalance is the reason your observation stirs into frustration and confusion, causing a sort of panic you were sure to have never felt prior. Who is Harry Styles now? 

Then again, your sudden distaste may also be attributed to the adoring attention he has been receiving all night- particularly that of the beautiful people who were visibly blessed with the chance to praise and pet him… And they were indulgently taking advantage of the opportunity. 

Harry, by the looks of it was eagerly lapping it up, happily reciprocating touches and even looking at some of them with a gaze you had once noticed when it was dedicated to yours truly. 

He definitely isn't a teenager anymore, and it dawns on you how impactful and influential his introduction to stardom had been. 

Where were these thoughts even coming from? Your mind never wavered to the thought of Harry unless a One Direction song came on in public or Jack dropped him in conversation. 

All the questions you had never pondered were causing your brain to swell, your body stuck in a frozen frenzy of how much has changed- for all of you- starting with the obscene and sudden assessment of his features- had you ever considered him as anything other than just… Harry? Has he always been so pretty? 

All of those thoughts shatter as you raise your glass for a sip and across the room, Harry’s arm wraps around an unknown auburn-headed woman’s waist- which, at the least, makes your stomach clench and at the most, has you tilting your head back to empty the glass in one desperate swallow. 

Without consideration, you hastily dismiss the person still animatedly engaging in a one-sided conversation and turn your back on the oddly upsetting scene happening against the balcony railings. 

Ignoring the high possibility of tripping, agitation carries you to the kitchen- abandoned and almost silent in contrast to the party vibing merely meters away- and you immediately get ahold of the nearest bottle of chilled champagne, filling your flute to the brim and have a hearty sip before finally settling, taking a deep breath, trying to untangle your thoughts- hopefully rid yourself of them for good. 

A couple minutes- what sounds like the length of a song- pass before you feel grounded and sane enough to rejoin the festivities. So, with a deep breath and a final sip for good luck, your faithful docs exit the kitchen and trail into the chatty confinements of the living room.

Lo and behold, Harry Styles is everywhere you go, practically blocking your path with his body pressing up against Auburn from outside, and he looks mere moments away from engaging her in a kiss. 

That silly sickly feeling threatens to return if you stay a moment longer, so your stare meets the floor and your feet pick up their pace, heading directly for the barricade that is Harry. 

His eyes bore into your own with a fervour that you will never forget and for a moment he has you pondering how such a magnificent emerald forest, framed by the wispiest of lashes, could have gone unnoticed for so long- how had you granted his adoring gaze such little attention? 

🍷 the host 🍷

Harry is in two minds about this evening- he can’t help but indulge in the praises and doting that showers him from each and every direction, his pulse is racing with ecstatic at the relief of finally being home again. 

His fears of everything changing have long passed, leaving his worries at the door as he is embraced with excited and excessive welcomes from anyone and everyone who looks his way. 

With his oldest and best friend, Jack, by his side once more, Harry feels no different than he did at that farewell party at least five years prior, enthusiastically greeting familiar faces, accepting each praise with a gracious humbleness. 

But Harry can’t tell if humble is even an accurate definition anymore and it isn't long before he feels his social battery starting to stutter and it’s clearly time for a drink. 

By the end of drink number two, his body is as relaxed as his mind, and Harry is now encouraging the constant vying for his attention- his supposed importance- especially when it includes an array of beautiful people stroking his extremely inflated ego. 

Leaning against the balcony railing, Harry cradles a whisky in one hand and the waist of a dazzling woman in his other. He hasn't actually been listening to a word said around him, nodding every so often as the small group around him eagerly bantered on. 

He’s just happy to be here and doesn't think it could get any better until he spots the only thing on earth that could permanently put him on cloud nine- his greatest dream all wrapped up in the gorgeous physical being that is yours truly- and suddenly Harry feels as if all of the happiness he currently feels is merely an appetizer to the type of joy he could be feeling if he were only across the room staring into your eyes. 

Oddly enough, your eyes are already set on him, suspiciously staring him down with an unreadable gaze that fills his stomach with an odd sense of unease. You look older- the same, but older- and something about that freaks Harry out and reminds him of his own age, how different things actually are now, even if it doesn't feel that way. 

And as if he were seeing you for the very first time, Harry cannot stop staring with bewildered admiration- his eyes darting from your trusty Docs to the extremely fashionable clothing you donned, sternly studying the dips and curves of your body before settling back on your grumpy, but heinously beautiful face. 

He felt it unreasonable- borderline evil- how much better you seemed to get with each interaction, how the hell was he to garner your attention now when he was already hardly capable of doing so for the last decade?

After you disappear into the sanctuary of the kitchen, Harry is too antsy to keep it together any longer and he finds his legs blindly following after you. 

He’s hardly in the hallway by the time his female company comes from outside- he didn’t bother learning her name. Her auburn hair was identification enough- and she caught up and captured his bicep between her cold hand. 

She ascends to her tippy toes, puckered lips finding their place just below Harry’s earlobe, her breath fanning over his sharp jawline as she seductively slips sensual suggestions his way, her free hand trailing up along his torso, fingernails tapping his chest. 

For a good moment, Harry truly does start to forget what he had gone on the hunt for, easily distracted by the shower of affection drizzling all along his body by the unknown woman. 

But, with a sudden shock, the kitchen door violently swings open to reveal your rigid figure, eyes furrowed and lips trapped fearfully between your gritted teeth.  

You are the spitting image of a deer in headlights, staring up at Harry with a look that has him stopping in his tracks, realizing that fate has struck again and he has his elusive person right where he wants you. 

Except, his plan to finally confront you had not included a third party and Harry could feel his face swelling with red blotches of blushy embarrassment. 

For a reason he can’t pinpoint, shame creeps its way into the pit of his stomach, fists clenched as his body turns to brick, and Auburn, still semi-latched on, is becoming so suffocating he feels like a lobster about to boil inside out. 

Rudely, and far too obviously, Harry disarms himself, shrugging his body from beneath Auburn’s grip and muttering some dismissive promise of meeting up with her later on- praying that his words are muffled enough that you don’t hear them. 

You aren't stupid though, and by the height your brow manages to raise in suspicion, Harry confirms that his words did not go unnoticed. 

His dismissal of Auburn seems fine by her as she smiles hopefully, giving him a swift kiss on his cheek before slipping past Harry and disappearing back into the party. 

Unfortunately, he isn’t surprised as you attempt to pretend this interaction was even occurring by disconnecting your shared stares, glancing your focus to the living room, and planning an escape route. But there is no choice other than to pass Harry and there is zero chance he will let you get away with it. 

Harry steps and then tilts his body closer, hoping to encourage you to do the same, but you stay put and only glare up at him expectantly and impatiently. He ignores your frigidity as if it were just a farce- it is- instead his smile turns to a full-on grin, reaching his eyes and crinkling cutely at the corners, and it spreads along his features with a fondness so fierce that you find yourself working overtime to avoid your face from breaking out into the same smile. 

“Avoiding me, hm?” He muses with a precious pout, “Y’know that hurts my feelings, klutz.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is. You do it every single time.”

Arms folding across your chest, face frowning with the preparation of upping your defensiveness in the name of dismissing Harry- just like old times,

“I see you enjoy lying for fun now.” 

Harry nearly scoffs but it projects as a sly smirk and points it at your painful scowl, 

“Y’do. Dipping in and out of patios… kitchens… Yet you always meet me in the hallway.” 

The stomach-knotting realisation that this is factual- how many times had this happened before? How many times would it happen again? Have it your way, and this will be the last time,

“Meeting and cornering are not the same thing.” 

“Stop tryna be smart.” Harry slightly, but softly snaps as his lips smack together.

“You’re ruder than I remember.” 

All snippiness leaves as soon as it comes, Harry sinks back into a swell of adoring amusement, 

“You rate?” 

“Ignoring your guests is a party fowl.” Definite diversion on your part. 

“Avoiding the host is a party fowl.” He counters. 

Weakly attempting to walk past him, only renders your back pressed up against the red abstract wallpaper. He remains put- which, to you, is rather unnerving- and upset is racing along your prickling skin, 

“I told you, I’m not avoiding you.” 

“Why don’t I believe you?” He edges closer with curiosity. 

“Just because you’re used to people throwing themselves at you doesn't mean I'm avoidant." You spit and suddenly, he’s so close. 

“They don’t all do that.” 

“Sure, Harry.” 

Have you two ever been this near before? Most certainly, but you could always chalk that up to intoxicated confusion- at least on your end had it ever felt this… intense? Is there any worldly justification for the suspicious stirring of curiosity now that he has so calmly and tenderly crossed the threshold of your personal space. 

Harry knows he has never felt as satisfied as he does whenever your bodies threaten to blend into one, but for perhaps the first time, he thinks you may consider this palpitating chemistry as something more than a silly game. 

But, he does so fondly enjoy the game, and if he pushes even a moment longer, Harry knows your patience will wither and guide you away from him for good. He uses a tried and true tactic,

“I like your hair.” He does. 

“Yours is like longer than mine.” It is.

“D’you like it?” Harry is deep within your space. 

“It’s alright.” You shrug, lying through your damn teeth. And you could leave it at that, but the bitterness has clearly taken over, “I’m sure the groupies are creaming, though.”

Hell, Harry has missed the pleasure of being in your preference, how electric and alive his body expels excitement and the anticipatory flames you will surely attack him with. He loves it- hates how much he does, can’t help but prod and provoke, 

“I can tell you’re agitated.” 

“Does that make you feel special?” 

“Can’t put my finger on why…” He ponders- Harry’s missing context, the type you are unwilling to confess- the only evidence he has is your pointed stare flickering with fury- wait, envy? “Oh.” 

“Oh, what?” 

“Oh, you’re jealous.” 

Your throat chokes on your stomach as you croak out a spluttered, “What?” as Harry’s chest brushes your shoulder blade and his spearmint-scented breath fans across your neck, 

 “I think you heard me just fine.” 

“You are delusional.” 

Is he, though? Has jealousy been the reason for your distaste and discomfort this evening? Are you as delusional as you believe Harry to be? He seriously thinks so, skin tickling your own,  

“Maybe… Still think I’m right.” 

“Fuck off, Harry.” 

He won’t though. Hand coming up to play with a strand of your hair, twirling it around his finger as his righteous gaze bores into your own- frozen and wide with bewilderment- and finally, his lips threaten to brush the back of your ear, 

 "You're jealous. Just admit it. You want to be the one kissing me."

“No-” 

“Never looked at me like this before..”

You know, and you hate that he kdoes too. You should leave. Now. But with a compulsion too fierce to fight off, a culmination of fascination that ignores your conviction of moving away,

“I don’t-”

“If you wanted to kiss me, all you had to do was ask.” 

Harry says it so matter-of-factly that it shocks your body, and brain, into returning to reality and those succulent tingles swirling in your stomach twist sourly, threatening to suffocate you inside out. 

With disappointment that is mostly directed at yourself, your sudden enamourment switches to the act of pressing your palm to Harry’s sternum and pushing sternly until he stumbles back in surprise. You cannot risk leaving without gifting him a cruel and crushing tongue-lashing, 

“You’re a frat boy in the body of a former pop star. I would never want to kiss someone like you.” 

You slip past him with zero resistance, no consideration for confirming his reaction as your back turns to Harry. 

Well, Harry thinks he’s glad you grant him some privacy because the guttural disappointment melting his face into a frown is shameful enough.

He doesn’t understand the sudden stinging of his tear ducts, the shrill ringing in his ears. Suddenly, Harry doesn’t quite feel like celebrating his return. 

Head bows as he carries his hurt and frustration to the confinements of the kitchen. It’s about time to spiral. 

🍷

You can send me a couple numbers and a trope/dynamic to write about! (18, 26, 31, 32, 35,) em. Xo 💞

[lavendertales]

Wicked games: part 2**

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: you and Joel have been rather timid when it came to expressing your care in physical ways. But once you get started, one lucky night, you find it’s hard to actually stop. 

word count: 3.6k

WARNINGS: brief mentions of alcohol; lots of making out, fingering, handjob & blowjob, piv, cunnilingus, cockwarming.

AGELESS/EMPTY BLOGS & MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!!!

A/N: thank you so much @cheshire-noir​ for beta reading and for screaming with me about this man, I love you.

gif: @jdmorganz​ 

If you’ve learned anything in the past two months, being with Joel Miller didn’t come short of challenges.

And there were a plethora of them.

First, he was overly-cautious. That meant that he was watching Ellie and your backs at all times. He grudgingly agreed to Ellie spending time with the other kids in Tommy and Maria’s camp, and that was only because both you and her nearly begged.

“She’ll be safe,” you told him.

Granted, you’ve used your sweetest tone that you knew would be more than influential to Joel.

“Alright,” he succumbed, much to Ellie’s excitement. “Just stay close to the other kids and don’t—“

“Got it, thanks Joel!”

And off she ran, leaving the two of you behind. You were quite amused at Joel, but you would never laugh in his face.

“—don’t run outside the fence! Just keep in the—oh, for Christ’s sake.”

“She’s gone,” you told him, stroking his arm. “Let her be a kid and have her fun.”

“Dang, it’s tough taking care of these kids.”

“Don’t I know it?”

But luckily, after that, Joel softened and warmed up to the idea of Ellie having full freedom, thus allowing her to integrate with the community and even make friends. Which meant that you and Joel had more time to spend together.

Or at least, that was the theory.

It has been a long time since either of you has gone on dates or gone further than that. Dates, you got it covered: you’ve both gotten better at it, taking it slowly and allowing each other the personal space you need in order to explore what feels right and what doesn’t. But being physical… that turned out to be the biggest challenge you and Joel had to navigate thus far.

It’s not that you were completely lost on the front of intimacy. You remember what it felt like to have someone’s body glued to yours, the first touches that set the body afire and the kisses that perpetuated the idea of neediness and that desire that nested in your belly, eager to be detonated.

It’s just that it’s been so long, you were both shy to initiate. You were both waiting for each other to start, and then your mind spun nervously, creating self-doubt and fear.

Joel certainly began to feel like this was all a bad idea. Even though the desire was there, tempting, just like you, needing to be pushed, touched.

“Where’s Ellie?” he asked one faithful evening.

You were lying down, reading a book and listening to something in the background, one of those cheesy 80s music that Joel couldn’t help but love. You stood up halfway, your eyes meeting his. “Sleepover with a few girls.”

“Oh, alright then.”

“Yeah. She’s gone for the night.”

Something clicked in Joel’s head. Interest peaked, he looked at you with a half smirk that triggered yours too.

“What?” you asked bemusedly.

“What you’re sayin’ is, we’re here by ourselves the whole night.”

“Mhm.”

You smiled as Joel approached you, lying down next to you. “What do you have in mind?” you asked him cheekily.

“If memory serves me correctly… some music and dimmed lights go a long way.”

“I might have something else to set the mood as well.”

Joel raised his eyebrows, watching you shuffle around for something unknown. He felt his heart pounding in his ears, his whole body as if it were being boiled alive. But he knew that if there were any ideal moments, this was surely of ‘em.

When you returned, Joel noticed the bottle of whiskey in your hand and the two glasses. You poured a little in each, handing one to him.

“Should I ask where this came from?”

“I wouldn’t.”

Joel chuckled, staring into the glass. “Should I be worried about it?”

“I wouldn’t.”

You drank in near-silence, thankful for the room you now shared in one of the houses of the compound. While it was true that you remained alone till tomorrow morning, you didn’t want to risk this opportunity by leaving the premises.

Soon, you were three glasses of whiskey in, cheeks flushed and bodies warm. You were lying down next to each other, giggling and sharing stories.

“You play the guitar?” you asked.

“Used to. I’m a bit rusty now.”

“Can I hear you play something?”

Joel’s stomach grumbled with worry. He chuckled, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “Nah, I’m not that good.”

“I’m sure you’re wonderful. Please?”

He couldn’t resist your sweet plea, nor your siren-like voice. There was something absolutely mesmerizing about you, your voice, your eyes… God, your eyes. It’s like they held the entire sky full of stars in them.

Still a little reluctant, Joel stood up, a little unbalanced, and brought in his guitar. It needed a bit of tuning, but it would do.

“Now, remember I haven’t really played this thing in a while,” he told you. “Only for Ellie, that one time, and it was a silly song.”

“Just play.”

Your smile was so heartwarming that Joel found it impossible to stop himself from playing that guitar. So before he knew it, his fingers were doing all the work, playing a rendition of one of your favorite songs, “I Want To Know What Love Is”. His gruff voice, in that low baritone, singing those beautiful lyrics, it was absolutely enchanting.

“Needs some work, but—”Joel tried to excuse himself.

“I think it’s great just the way that it is.”

Joel sported a half smile, feeling like a flustered teenager around you. But perhaps that was actually the charm.

“Can I try?” you asked.

“You play the guitar?”

“Seems like a good time to try.”

Amused, Joel handed you the guitar, watching you study it closely. You played a few strings randomly, causing him to chuckle further.

“Hey,” he cooed, gently touching your hand.

“That bad, huh?”

“No, no, you could be one of the greatest guitarists of this apocalyptic time.”

“Why, thank you.”

Something in the way Joel stared at you told you that the time for subtlety and flirtatious hints was over. He wanted more, and in that moment, gazing at him, you wanted more too, finally ready to move past the shyness of asking.

“I was gonna ask you—to show me what you like,” he tutted.

“What?”

“I think we’re both too old to be playing silly games. Granted, it’s been a long time since I’ve even wanted someone around me, but you… you got me feelin’ like I’m a teenager again.”

You couldn’t help the thrilled chuckle that escaped past your lips as you smiled at him.

“So I’m askin’ you to show me what you like,” he continued, hand still over yours. “Where you like to be touched and kissed. How.”

You felt your cheeks burn unusually much, your body nearly aching, longing to the point where it was getting unbearable to even breathe next to Joel. You put the guitar away, rolling enough so that you were face to face with him. The whole room seemed to smell of him: musky, earthy, and warm.

“We could start with something simple,” you teased, pulling him in.

His lips were softer than what you had expected; frankly, you thought his whole being was just rugged and tough to break, but as you were about to find out, under the right circumstances, Joel Miller could be turned into putty.

He was practically melting under your touch, but you weren’t that far off either. His beard tickled your face in the most unexpected and pleasant way, triggering sensations you long thought of as buried. The kiss remained a mere exploration, but it was getting increasingly difficult to keep it tender.

Although you were both starved, your bodies seemed to be moving on their own accord, exuding sheer neediness. Joel did his best not to whimper right there in your mouth, but it was no easy task; before he knew it, unholy sounds were leaving his throat, those of arousal and desire, his large hands gripping your waist.

You barely stopped for air in your quest for pleasure, yet you made sure to take it slow. You straddled Joel’s lap, removing your clothing one by one under his mesmerized hazel eyes. He remarked on the scars that mapped your skin, tracing each one mentally before he could do so with his lips and hands.

But then he came to realize that it was his turn to undress, and suddenly things weren’t so appealing anymore.

You saw him become fidgety and self-conscious, closing back inside his shell. You glared at him with big eyes, almost begging for him to return your look.

“If you don’t want to, that’s fine,” you reassured him. “We don’t have to do anything.”

“Trust me, darlin’, if I’d want this anymore, I’d explode.”

You smiled shyly, noticing Joel’s appreciative glare over your naked body in the golden dimmed light. So wanting is not an issue.

“Then what is it?” you asked.

“Just… not sure you’d wanna see this scarred old body.”

“Joel. I want you just as you are. And scars are badass.”

“They’re ugly reminders.”

“They are not.”

So you set up to prove it to him in ways that words would never convince him. You peppered gentle kissed down his neck, your hands sneaking beneath his shirt simply to caress the skin there, and Joel whimpered, powerless under your touch.

He’d never in a million years imagined a greater temptation before him, someone so powerful bringing him to his knees in the most effortless way.

His whimpers were uncontrollable, his body a furnace, nesting a fire that begged to be released. It has been far too long, and even longer to spend aching in your presence. Your every touch, every kiss was guided by sheer desire, and Joel could feel the heat radiating from your fingertips and into the way you were touching him all over, making him painfully hard—and aware of the fact that you were butt naked, while he remained clothed.

So he changed that in an instant: your fingers and his were working in tandem to dispose of his shirt and throw it somewhere on the floor. You noticed why Joel was so self-conscious about his appearance: plenty of scars traced the surface of his surprisingly soft skin, each telling a different story. You took a moment to soak up the image, your fingers carefully touching a particular one on the right side of his abdomen, deeper than the others. Joel sighed, his chest heaving with anticipation and melancholy alike, and his eyes met yours.

“Nearly ended me, that one,” Joel explained, his voice bitter and filled with regret.

The thought of not having him—or Ellie—in your life provoked much more sorrow than you’d thought. So you programmed yourself to set the mood back by grabbing his hand into yours, guiding it to your core. You both gasped simultaneously, Joel’s eyes dropping in between your legs, watching in a trance how you pressed his fingers onto your clit. He followed your lead and dragged his index through your folds, collecting the slick that had shockingly gathered.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he muttered, and you smiled. “This what you wanted?”

“Mhm.”

Joel’s touches were tentative, merely testing you and himself, stretching both your patience thin, but they remembered their way around. You bit on your lower lip when Joel’s finger breached your entrance, soaking it completely. The sensation made him tremble almost, and his chest heaving some more.

“Is this good?” he asked.

“Mhm,” you frantically nodded.

You wanted to tell him that there was no need for the constant reassurance and checkups, but it has been over a year, and you knew him better than to insist on ignoring the little things that made Joel Miller who he was.

Your fingers set for an important task thus pressing pause on his filthy magic on your clit: with eager motions against his belt and zipper, you helped Joel out of his jeans and boxers, gulping when you noticed how hard he was. It must’ve been uncomfortable, yet you couldn’t help but feel flattered.

And oh, so needy.

You didn’t give him any warning, and neither did he when he resumed his motions over your aching cunt, his index pressing boldly inside you. Next thing he knew, your hand wrapped around his cock, fisting it ever so slightly, just to test the waters and see what Joel’s reaction was. The second your eyes locked on his figure, contorted in sheer ecstasy, you knew you’d hit the jackpot.

“Fuck,” he murmured in a guttural voice, trying to keep his voice to a minimum.

But God, how you adored listening to his grunts and helpless whimpers.

“What—what else?” he asked in a haste, to which you frowned momentarily.

“What else what?”

Goodness gracious, your voice was like honey pouring down on the warmed up skin, drizzling slowly, impossible to ignore.

“What else—do you like?” he struggled to say while you fisted his cock faster.

“I’m quite enjoying this.”

“Devil woman.”

He grinned like a madman in utter despair, breaths ragged, irregular and messy just like his mind. He’s been deprived for far too long; so long that he’d even forgotten his own touch. But this, right now? It couldn’t get any better.

And then you filthily wrapped your mouth around his cock, and Joel damn near lost his mind completely.

“Atta girl,” he groaned, resisting the urge to fist your hair. “Just like that. You keep doing that—fuck.”

With one hand you jerked him off at the base, and with your mouth you took as much as you could, listening to Joel’s moans like they’re the most fascinating record you’ve ever heard.

This shell of a man was now being broken down to his center, hopeless and desperate for any touch you’re offering him. He was weak for you, and there was no more denying that, hard as any of you might’ve tried.

“Fuck—you gotta go easy on me, baby girl—“his voice warned, thick with neediness and desire.

You released him from your mouth with a plop, the wet sound just as arousing as the filthy number you just performed on him. You smirked at him, eager to feel him; before you could wrap your hand around his length again, Joel kissed you, his lips practically devouring yours with a force and determination to be reckoned with. Soon, you found yourself writhing beneath him, legs spread to make room for him to grind in between.

His body acted like a furnace, heating you up as well. You were surprised to discover tenderness in the way his calloused hand gripped your sides, kneading the pillowy flesh like it was the most saccharine fabric he had ever felt. You didn’t beg for  anything; your mouth was too dry, and your cunt too soaked. All you could do was gaze hungrily at him, and nearly slobber when Joel’s equally famished gaze fell upon your naked figure, eyes darkened by lust.

Each passing second spent without feeling him was agonizing. You struggled to understand how come you both became so desperate for this long-lost sensation of bodies thrashing and clashing against each other when you’ve gone without it for so long. Breaths erratic, Joel spat in the palm of his hand, then wrapped it all too eagerly around his cock, guiding himself to your entrance. The way you were glistening in the dimmed lights, pussy full on display for him, turned him feral. There was no other word for it. He ached, begged himself, whatever deities might’ve been up there in the skies to take mercy on his soul and let him enjoy this gift he’d been blessed with.

“Might this be something you’d like too?” he cheekily decided to ask at the very last minute possible.

You would’ve laughed at his audacity to ask such a stupid question in such a tense moment. You really would have. He was waiting for you to say anything, his leaking tip barely nudging between your folds, and you exhaled. Loudly.

“Joel,” your tone seemed to be scolding him.

“Yes?”

Your hands find their way around his neck, pulling him down. You were breathing into each other’s faces by this point, both driven half-mad by lust and desperation.

“Please,” you said at last, giving him the most pleading, suggestive look he’d ever seen a woman wear.

Joel smirked, though not mockingly; he was rather surprised that you could possibly want him this much. But then again, he was astounded by his own feelings for you, his judgement too clouded to allow any rationality to slip through the cracks of his sanity—or whatever was left of it.

“I hope you won’t hold it against me if I… break,” Joel said, his tone revealing a little fear.

You frowned. “Break?”

“I don’t know how long I’ll last.”

“That’s for me to feel.”

Something about that statement built on his hunger even more. Joel finally pushed into you, the slip of his cock eased by your prior arousal. You both moaned out loud, jaws dropped at the sensation. The feeling was that of familiarity and closeness, but also excitement. Those shouldn’t go together in times such as those, but there you were.

“Oh… fuck,” you groaned.

Joel gave you both some time to adjust: you with his size, and him with the feeling of your hot, tight walls wrapped around him. But after a little while, it became as maddening as it was pleasurable to simply sit like that, with Joel fully sheathed inside of you, no movement to be felt. You weren’t sure how the first move came to be; maybe it was you who grabbed him by the back of his neck to press his lips onto yours. Maybe it was he who held onto your hips and gave the first thrust, head buried in the crook of your neck, lest he was overwhelmed. And he sure was.

Either way, once the first step had been done, Joel found the strength to start moving. His pace wasn’t shy—you could tell he had experience under his belt. But it wasn’t rough either. It felt rather like a concoction of sentiments, all chaotic, now burning together at the same pace.

Your lips hadn’t left his, no matter how sloppy the kiss turned. You honestly liked it that way. It felt real and honest. You barely allowed yourself some extra breaths of air. All you needed, all you wanted to feel were his tender kisses, his cock pushing further and further inside you, and the hotness and stickiness that came with all of it. You wanted Joel as he was. You didn’t want to play any game, and you wanted him to know that too.

Your moans were more frequent, as were Joel’s grunts. You had no way of telling how time moved in that moment, neither did you care. It felt like it was all happening too fast and yet too slowly. With each additional thrust, each grunt of Joel’s, your belly ached and imploded more, your whole body begging for its sweet release. God, you doubted you’ve ever wanted or needed to come more than you did at that very moment.

“Joel—“you cooed desperately, pathetically even.

His thrusts, much like his breaths and grunts, were lacking self-control: they became messier, the pace with which he was fucking you faster, greedier. Your hand entangled in his hair, tugging at the charcoal locks like your life depended on it; you mewled and moaned relentlessly, no other words falling down from your tongue. You couldn’t give the man any proper warning.

“Focus,” he seemed to warn you huskily. “Right here. At me.”

You realized he was looking at you, perhaps chasing his own high as he did so, but when that final snap of his hips against yours hit, Joel finally broke.

“Godfuckingdamnit, yes,” he groaned in one go as he came all over your thighs, stroking himself to completion and making sure he’d milked every ounce of arousal possible.

Your orgasm came a bit later, when his mouth was boldly pressed against your swollen pussy and your fingers were rubbing against your clit. That time you couldn’t contain your scream. The only word you did remember how to say was his name. A prayer, a beacon of hope and desire, maybe even more than that.

Fuck! was your closing word when you came, white-hot heat running through you as you spasmed and fell apart right in his mouth, fingers intertwined with his hair, pulling him in as much as you could.

Your cheeks reddened at the sight of Joel’s beard all smeared with your juices. The sight was beyond lewd, forbidden to a certain degree, but it seemed Joel wore your climax on his face like a badge of honor.

Even more so when he wiped his mouth with his thumb, boldly sucking on it right before your shocked eyes.

“If I’d’ve known you were this sweet, I’d’ve tasted you a whole lot sooner,” he teased.

You could tell he’d grown a bit more confident through the simple human act you just performed together, so the smile that followed was appreciative and fond.

“C’mere,” you told him, gesturing to him to join you in bed.

Once again, you weren’t sure how long you stayed there under that blanket, talking and smiling at each other. Could’ve been minutes, could’ve been hours. All you knew was that you were reminded how easily happiness could be found, should the right person be next to you.

previous 

[retrosofa]

Let's conclude our Cutie Honey 50th anniversary trivia with the final episode: “A Poison Flower Falls to Hell.”

Screenwriter: Masaki Tsuji

Art Director: Urata Mataharu

Animation Director: Satoshi Jingu

Director: Osamu Kasai

With the exception of Junpei’s girlfriend Mami and the nameless Panther Claw subordinates, all of the (living) characters in the series appear for the final episode.

The suspenseful drumming that plays before Eagle Panther attacks the truck was lifted from Go Misawa’s soundtrack for Devilman.

Honey has always lovingly addressed her father as “papa”, but in this episode she refers to him as the more formal otousama or “father.” This was probably done to demonstrate to the audience how much she has grown from her battle with Panther Claw.

In the original manga, Sister Jill’s headquarters was called maboroshi jyou or “Castle of Illusion.” The name was probably changed to avoid confusion with Cutter Claw’s “Castle of Illusion” from episode 10. 

Jill’s headquarters in the manga looks like a traditional European style castle, while the anime version evokes more of a haunted house. 

The dreamlike landscape Honey falls into is modeled after the surrealist works of Salvador Dali, specifically one of his most famous works, The Persistence of Memory, which depicts melting pocket watches. The floating lips could possibly be based on Man Ray’s Observatory Time: The Lovers, a painting featuring a giant pair of lush red lips in the sky.

The second half of the episode features a few references to one of Toei Animation’s earlier films, The Little Prince and the Eight-Headed Dragon.

Released in 1963, the film tells the story of Susanoo, the youngest son of the gods who created the Earth, and his journey in finding his mother. The stylized film featured the talents of animation veterans such as Yasuo Otsuka, Yoichi Kotabe, Isao Takahata, and Kimio Yabuki. 

References to The Little Prince and the Eight-Headed Dragon: 

The human shaped fire that attacks Honey is animated almost exactly like the Fire God that Susanoo faces. 

The phantom serpents are a dead-ringer for the eight-headed dragon. The only difference is the coloring. In the film their colors are similar to Maleficent's dragon form from Walt Disney’s Sleeping Beauty. It’s worth mentioning in the original storyboard the illusions were meant to look like generic snakes.

After the Panther Chateau crumbles, the gloomy skies clear up and Honey finds herself in a flowerbed under a blue sky. This is similar to the end of the film, in which the defeated dragon turns into a field of flowers and the dark skies become bright and sunny.

The bone-chilling organ music that plays during Honey and Jill’s confrontation is Fugue in D Major, BWV 580 by Johann Sebastian Bach. The rendition featured in this episode was performed by French organist Marie-Claire Alain.

While the animation director for the finale is Satoshi Jingu of Anime Room, the key animation for the second half of the episode was handled primarily by Yoshinori Kanada. While he was relatively unknown at the time, he would go on to be a very influential figure in the animation world, working on titles such as Dino Mech Gaiking, Birth, Princess Mononoke and others. 

Kanada’s style is particularly noticeable during the “Honey Special” sequence and Honey's reunion with the Hayami family. It’s very possible Kanada had worked on the other episodes animated by Anime Room (episodes 6, 13, 16, and 24) but he only received credit for this one.

Supposedly, the final episode was originally going to be handled by Shingo Araki and Hiroshi Shitara, but both men were too busy working on Majokko Megu-chan.

Despite getting pretty good ratings, Cutie Honey was canceled due to concerns over salacious content. According to Go Nagai’s autobiographical manga, Gekiman! Cutie Honey Hen, nearly everyone involved was blindsided by the cancellation. Toshio Katsuta in particular was quite surprised, since Honey made better ratings than its predecessor, Microid S. Katsuta was actually quite confident Honey would last three or four seasons.

Because of the series' abrupt cancellation, Katsuta and Nagai both agreed to have Honey defeat Jill at the end of the series, while leaving Panther Zora’s fate being left to the interpretation of the fans.

In an interview printed in the 1981 Cutey Honey Roman Album, Go Nagai talks a little bit about what Honey and Zora were up to after the finale. He says Zora began harvesting animals from the Amazon and transforming them into androids, probably in preparation for a battle against Honey. He also says Honey is destined to only fight Panther Claw, so she'd probably ignore any unrelated criminal activity. I guess we can assume Honey got a little downtime after her victory against Sister Jill?

And that's all our trivia for Cutie Honey! I hope you enjoyed all the interesting tidbits I've collected over the years. Maybe someday I'll do this for the other series...

Special Thanks:

@brickme

Ayumi Shinozaki

Josh M.

Charlie from Skaro Hunting Society

Phix Cabral

Jonathan Castleman

[classpecting-the-hoyoverse]

can you do jingyuan from honkai star rail ?

aaaaaa my first request! and of course~

Jing Yuan: The Seer of Breath

Seer: The passive knowing class

One who sees their Aspect or one who sees with their aspect

Alternatively, one who understands their aspect or informs others of/with their aspect.

Breath:

Abstract: Freedom, Isolation, Detachment, Influence, Individuality, Movement, Direction, To be on a path

Literal: Actual Breath, Wind, Air, Flight

Lets start off with the first half of his title: The Seer.

Seers in Homestuck are often known as the analysts in a group, for their role is to see their aspect or to see using their aspect. Their strengths lie in understanding their aspect and using what thy know to guide others towards their goals.

Seer of Mind Terezi, though never going god tier, had the ability to view the choices an individual could make and its consequences. Mind is concered with logic; choices. An intricate web of actions and consequences was at her disposal and she could choose to inform others which line would take everyone to victory. Once the timeline was doomed, she was able to guide John Egbert via a list of choices that he has to change , or influence, in order to avoid the chain reaction that causes their downfall.

We will come back to Egbert later.

Next, there is Seer of Light Rose Lalonde, whom of which is given powers that allow her to clarify what was previously hidden. Light is the aspect of knowledge and fortune, therefore, Rose is able to present others with information that was previously unknown. In the early acts of Homestuck, Rose made a SBURB walk through by scraping as much info as she could in order to guide others through the confusing game.

There is also another line spoken by Aradia, which surmises the role of a Seer pretty well

As you can see here, Aradia calls the Seer class strategists, something that has been used to describe Jing Yuan quite often. This is especially when you consider the Path he is on:

Yet that alone does not define how calculating and clever Jing Yuan truly is. The man was been given the title of Divine Foresight for a reason.

During his first stellar expedition, Jing Yuan's ship was forced to land on an ocean world infested with parasitic jellyfish that can take over the minds of other lifeforms with the goal of converting their vessel into a hive.

It was Jing Yuan though who was able to identify the invaders the moment they appeared. He was also the one who came up with a plan to get rid of them, guiding his crew with what he learned about their enemy and leading them towards an outcome which turned out to be successful and earn him praise amongst the Cloud Knights as well as a promotion in their ranks.

Next, lets talk about his aspect: Breath.

Those aligned with the aspect are known to be influential, leaving an impression to those they come across:

With how everyone describes the man himself and his position as a centuries-old general, it sounds like Breath fits him to a "t" doesn't it? Garnering a reputation for being a drowsy man and a headache to work with, yet a not only a competent general, a successful one too.

It's safe to assume that everyone working in the Cloud Knights has some sort of opinion of the Divine Foresight. Especially to Yanqing, who is his retainer and to Fu Xuan.

From here, there is more to say when talking about Jing Yuan through the lenses of someone who is a Seer of Breath rather than just discussing how he relates to either part of his title in isolation.

Let's talk about the character arc that all Seers take. A Seer starts off often blinded by their aspect's opposite. It is when they're able to rid themselves of what obfuscates their aspect could they start to learn about their aspect themselves and provide their insight on it for others.

Rose was once shrouded in Void, first confused by her mother's nonsensical affectionate shenanigans and again by Doc Scratch who pushed her over the deep end and turned her Grimdark.

And Seer of Blood Kankri, his aspect concerned with bonds and ties, was isolated by Breath. He was the only one of his blood color to be born on Beforus. Unable to belong or relate to any of the existing blood casts on his planet.

It's important to remember that Breath is also the aspect of Individuality; one deciding to take their own path in life.

A small example could be found in the short dialogue present in the Light Cone "Before Dawn". A subordinate of Jing Yuan's warns him of the consequences of making a huge decision, of how it could impact his legacy. Jing Yuan replies saying how he doesn't care how his choice affects him.

We know a little about Jing Yuan's past, but from what we can glean off of his character stories we learn that he was born to a family of scholars and was expected to continue their family's legacy of becoming important officials for it was in their blood.

It was during a ceremony that the infant Jing Yuan has decided what he'll become for himself and threw away any expectation his family had for him:

Then we have his relationship to his mentor, Jingliu.

There is not much known about their time together, but it's apparent that they were close and that under her guidance Jing Yuan became an excellent sword-wielder.

Under her training, Jing Yuan had came face to face with people he once knew become corrupted and mad, Mara-struck. During a fight with someone we can assume has has know for a while, he hesitates killing him. He doesn't kill him right away because of their bond.

Long after that, Jing Yuan then had to make a choice that battle with his Mara-struck mentor in front of him. It was during that battle that he decided to not let his bond with his mentor hinder him and free her of her affliction, no matter how painful it was to him. He knew that this was the best decision for both her and the Xianzhou.

It's there where I would consider him ascending towards his role as a Seer of Breath.

The current Jing Yuan has come into his own since then, being able to lead the Xianzhou into years of peace under his leadership. This would also translate well into him being a good Seer of Breath right?

Why don't we look into the game of chess that the Dive Foresight and Master Diviner play together:

Not Fu Xuan but the gif helps to visualize.

Jing Yuan has an affinity for playing chess, a game of wits and war. A game that requires the player to not only be several steps ahead of their opponent, but also to be able to predict their next moves and plan accordingly for their victory to be possible.

A game that Fu Xuan is confident she can win in.

There is a question that the General proposes to the Master Diviner: Why does chess use round pieces yet is played on a square board.

Fu Xuan answers with the claim that a chess game mirrors the old beliefs of a flat earth and a domed sky, represented by a square board and circular pieces respectively.

Her opponent however, only half agrees.

The checkered pattern represents the fixed motions that a piece could take and the roundness of a piece represents an individual.

With those perimeters set and his experience in war, Jing Yuan was able to identify what set of moves he needed in order to win the game before organizing his pieces to execute them. With subtly and suavely, he was able to beat Fu Xuan, despite her clairvoyance.

A more recent example would be during the end of the Windswept Wanderlust quest, in which Jing Yuan and Fu Xuan have a conversation of the origins of the Stellaron. The Master Diviner still believes that Kafka and the Stellaron Hunters were the ones who planted it, but the Divine Foresight thinks otherwise:

Even he had suspicions that the Stellaron Hunters weren't the ones behind the chaos, and Kafka had confirmed his notions.

In addition to this, Jing Yuan has not only already known where the stellaron is in advance, but also has predicted the movements of the opponents next move and placed the Cloud Knights in a position to corner them.

Jing Yuan is an excellent leader and an amazing strategist, being able to accurately predict his enemy's movements and deal with them accordingly, he is befitting of one who is the Seer of Breath. Despite his laid back and seemingly lazy attitude, he is able to keep a watchful eye of the Xianzhou's Luofu and maintain tranquility through diverting the movement of trouble rather than solving it once it appears.

Although this analysis states that his arc as the Seer of Breath is complete, there is still a lot in store for our Divine Foresight. As of the time of writing this, Jing Yuan does not have a lot of screen time and his tale isn't quite done yet. There is more for us to see of not just him...

But for his retainer too, if his prediction comes to fruition.

[catmansquad]

The Looking Glass: Alternate Miguels

Well... Here we go. The various versions of Miggy who appear in The Looking Glass. (A03) Some parallel worlds get... freaky.

The Soulmate – Iteration: 237

“I love you. With all I am. With my very soul, I love you, let us never be parted.”

Be his Soulmate, his twin flame. You’ll see the gentle man beneath the mask.

No dead daughter syndrome, a little more playful, prone to teasing and smirking.

Plays games, courting on two fronts; as himself and as his webbed alter-ego.

As himself, he tries to appear normal. Mumbles his words to hide his fangs, focuses to keep his talons retracted.

Doesn’t take much to break his focus, hold his hand at your peril.

As Spider-man, he is wild and flirtatious, behind the mask he knows the skintight attire works in his favour.

Expect to be piggy-backed across the city, loves your arms tight around him. May squirm to make you hold tighter.

Will tell you to close your eyes, and kiss you sweetly before putting his mask back before you see him.

Eventually, he either slips up or you get wise. Then you get the best of both the kindness and the flirtation near constantly.

Once that soul-bond is tied? Prepare to be loved and shown affection from every atom of him.

The Warrior – Iteration: [Unknown]

“I am of the Callisteri. I am as strong as the boles of the great-trees…”

A warrior from a lost world of magic and mysticism

A true knight in shining armour, clad in Fae Silver, with an emerald cloak bearing a majestic stag, the icon of his Order.

Per the rules of his Order, his sheathed blade is kept concealed beneath his cloak, as such his left arm is covered until battle is inevitable.

Unskilled in the arcane arts of other Orders, but his martial prowess is second to none.

If he becomes your bodyguard, you can consider yourself safe. Completely and utterly safe.

You can charm him into bed. Maybe. He’ll assure you he’s doing it to keep you safe. He’s holding you close in his strong arms to keep you safe.

This guy is ripped. Like he could break you over his knee like a toothpick then juggle cars for fun.

Silent, stoic, and watchful. With time and warmth, you can tease him out of his silver shell…

For the benefits of his Order, he is “as strong as he needs to be”. No upper limit is known.

Boasts he has the virility of the Great Stag. Will prove it if you let him.

The Merman -  Iteration: 5002

“I will teach you to swim, walker…”

Over nine feet long, tail to tip.

Beautiful scales of red and blue

He glows in the dark, showing even more shiny scales on his upper body

Confident, charming, and cheeky

Smiles a mouthful of sharp teeth.

Might actually be half-shark

Unknown if he’s a natural Merman, or one of Alchemax’s experiments that got loose.

Utterly majestic singing voice, deep and enchanting.

His song is wordless grace, as charming as any siren’s.

If you want to go swimming with him, bring a diving suit with a big air tank.

Will give you gifts; carved stones, gleaming pearls, trinkets from shipwrecks.

His gills don’t allow him to leave the water, but he can still poke his head above the surface.

If you can’t swim, or are terrified of water, he’s just the guy to help you out.

Will splash you with his tail if you bore him.

His skin carries the salty tang of the ocean.

The Vampire – Iteration: 300

“A night out? In my finest clothes… My sweetest smile… My irresistible charms… My aching kiss…”

Literal 500-year-old Aztec Vampire.

Mortal problems? Vampiric infighting? Literally too old for this shit.

He has had many names. “Miguel O’Hara” is his current identity.

Long ago got over the nature of his condition.

Has walked the world for centuries, meeting other Clans

Charming, friendly, almost romantic.

Very rich, very influential.

Has a history of broken hearts, mostly his own.

Not burned by sunlight, but has the eyes of a predator, very sensitive.

“… I was a father. Once… Then came the plague.”

Will feed on you, but will also ensure you’re well looked after and will do everything to make sure you’re healthy.

He despairs when he realizes that he’s falling in love all over again.

“Sunlight? Irritating. Garlic? Mm. Maybe good in some dishes. Crosses? What about them?”

Hates when people ask him to whisper seductively in Spanish. If they don’t speak it, he’ll lean in, and in his slow, seductive voice will, in Spanish, call them an “Absolute Fucking Moron”.

Does speak a whole lot of other languages. Ask him to seduce you in one of those.

Hurt? He’ll lick your wounds closed. It’s supernaturally effective.

Won’t fly into a bloodthirsty hunger if he sees you bleeding- don’t mistake him for a newborn Fledgling. He’s an Elder, and he will be respected.

If you ask him to Turn you, he will sit you down and make sure you understand in no uncertain terms exactly what you are asking for. If you come away scared, good, you were listening.

The Incubus -  Iteration: 2023

“We are spirits of passion. When we love, we love with all we are.”

Will laugh at your prudishness.

Horns, tail, pointy ears and fangs.

May or may not have wings based on his mood. Or yours.  

Can read your kinks like a book. He probably wrote it.

You feel the phantom touches of his fingers on your face at night.

Once you woke up to feel the covers being pulled up over you.

Sensual, romantic, wants to be loved and appreciated.

Can also be moody and possessive.

Tell him what you want, he won’t refuse it.

At your request he once shifted through a few different forms to try and help you out.

Turned into a near-androgynous twink with sparkling red eyes.

Also went the other way and turned into a sheer mountain of mass, sneering confidently down at you over folded arms while the silver chain around his neck was swallowed between those bulging pecs.

When you told him you loved him, he asked for you to repeat yourself.

When he found you were sincere, he wept tears of joy.

Will wrap his tail around your waist possessively.

On a bus ride, someone completely oblivious to the spirit world sat in the seat beside you. The seat he was in. You had to keep a straight face as he leapt up, snarled and ranted insults in Spanish at them for the rest of their journey.

“Don’t get up yet… Lay here with me…. Just for a while longer…”

The Sociopath – Iteration: 158

“What is the point in your life? You are but an echo. A reflection of a potential that never truly was.”

Spiderman couldn’t have become a worse guy

Had a loveless marriage, found his wife had been long-term screwing his half-brother.

Flew into a rage at the merest idea that Gabi wasn’t his

Sees everyone else as beneath him/ possessions/ toys

Will take by force what he cannot win through guile/seduction.

Kiled half of Nueva York, left the other half alive to tell the story of Spider-man’s rampage.

To him, you are either a useful tool or dead meat.

Is a frighteningly good actor, able to affect the mask of a patient, gentle, and loving man.

 Very much enjoys slipping into other realities and play with/torment/unnerve the people his other self is close to.

Enjoys it even more if those version of him are regular people. It makes him feel powerful.

Enjoys singing “Dead Man Walking”, later uses it to announce his presence to his victims.

A sharp, terrifying grin forewarns him doing something monstrous.

Will refer to his victims as “my little rabbit”/ “mi pequeño conejo”

Don’t try to run from him. You won’t make it.

“I’m a dead man walking… Before I die… I’ll take every soul I can into the night… (Soft chuckle)”

[tinisprout]

A Real Friend

Pairing: College student! Eric x gn!Reader

Genre: Fluff, a little angst, college au, Strangers to Friends,

Warnings: profanities, mentions of drink (not by main characters)

Word count: 1.5k

Summary: Eric doesn't have any real friends, but that will change when he meets you.

A/N: this is kinda a belated birthday fic for Eric cause I was too busy this holiday season to write anything so there is something small here.

It’s fine he gets it, it’s the holidays people are busy, they have their own plans. That doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt when all his friends forgot about his birthday. Eric had hoped that they might be planning a surprise party for him, but he was only met with disappointment as the day slowly passed with not a word of congratulations from any of them. He only received messages from his parents and sister who he couldn’t even see. He could barely pay his rent, let alone buy a ticket to visit his family back in America.

No, he wasn’t going to be sad, it happens to the best. He was just going to pretend like everything was okay. Eric had to make sure that he didn’t come off as someone sensitive to his friends, he didn’t want to lose them after trying so hard to befriend them. So when he got the invite to his department’s New Years’ party, he decided he would be his normal people pleaser self. This could benefit his future anyway, so why complain.

[New Years Eve]

“Here, I got the drinks you wanted, Kyungwon,” Eric looks at Kyungwon and his group of friends. They all eye Eric for a bit before laughing, casually thanking him while taking the drinks from his arms.

“Thanks, uh….,” Kyungwon doesn’t even look like he’s trying to remember Eric’s name.

“Eric. It’s Eric, remember?” He lets out an awkward laugh trying to seem unbothered.

“Eric, right,” he says, letting out a dismissive laugh. Kyungwon knew the game and he was going to play it. He was pretty influential in his school, he had a lot of connections the people wanted. Your school experience would be a nice walk down easy-street if you could befriend him. He wasn’t going to let people just use him with nothing in return, he would get as much use out of them as he could just like he was doing to Eric right now.

Eric tried starting up conversations with these boys he would call his friends, and they humored him, some of the topics went well others only led to half-hearted responses. In the end, Eric decided he needed some fresh air, it always felt so suffocating when he was with them. He went up to the rooftop hopefully there weren’t too many people there. Luckily there was only one person here and it seem they didn’t hear Eric open the door as they didn’t turn around. Eric looked to find a spot a reasonable distance away from the stranger, his eyes finding their way back to the other person’s position, only to find them suddenly climbing the fence.

No way, are they trying to…. Eric stopped his thoughts and his body took action. He ran up to the person and reached out his hand and roughly pulled at their coat. In the heat of the moment, he couldn’t control his strength, maybe a tug would have been enough. In the end, the person fell off the fencing and right into Eric.

“What the fuck?” you wince in pain, ripping your earphones out and turning to see who just did that. You saw an unknown man that looked like he had the wind knocked out of him. He seemed more in pain than you and you felt your anger lessen. Before you can voice your words of concern, he speaks first.

“What- what were you doing? Why would you-?!” Eric cuts his sentence off, that was a scary thought to finish.

“What? I was just-” you realize what he might have been thinking. “No! I wasn’t trying to jump!” Eric looked at you with disbelief, why else would anyone try to climb the rooftop fence?

“Then what were you trying to do?”

“Just… relieve some stress.”

“And how would you do that by climbing the fence?” Your excuse sounded stupid to Eric, it didn’t make sense.

“Look, I got a lot of people that care about me and I have a lot that I care about. I’m not going to throw it all away. Thanks for your concern, but it’s wasted on me,” you stand up dusting yourself off. You offer a hand to the stranger and he accepts.

“... Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Eric offers a nervous apologetic smile

“I think that’s my line, you almost completely cushioned my fall, and it still hurt, so I can only imagine how you felt.”

“Oh, I’ve been through worse.” He chuckles, and you smile.

“So, what brings you to the roof?

“Out for some fresh air,” Eric’s friendly demeanor changes to gloomy. You could clearly see this was a guy who wore his heart on his sleeve.

“Same, uh, do you have any friends at this party?” You thought changing the subject would be better.

“Yeah, you probably know them, Kyungwon and-”

“Wait, Kyungwon?” you cut him off, shocked by his words. He didn’t seem like the type to be friends with Kyungwon.

“Yes, why?”

“Nothing, he’s kinda…,” you purse your lips before deciding to continue. “Your friend is kind of an asshole.” Eric bursts out laughing at your words, but then quickly covers his mouth like he was doing something bad.

“Ah, yeah I guess so.”

“If you think so then why are you friends with him?”

“Well, at first it was cause he was Kyungwon. I think everyone in this school knows how beneficial it would be to know him. Trying to befriend him was one of the first things I did after coming here so I’ve been following around him for a while and I saw he was kinda cool at times. It was then that I wanted to try being real friends with him, but I think I’m still just a nobody to him.”

“I don’t think a friend would make you feel like a nobody.”

“ …I guess acquaintances is the better word to describe our relationship,” Eric scoffs at his own words.” You wondered just how lonely this man was.

“Are you still trying to use him?” you bluntly ask him, he wasn’t exactly innocent in all this, whatever the answer he doesn’t answer. “You’re right everyone in this school knows how useful Kyungwon is, but I would rather work 10 times as hard than spend my college life trying to kiss ass to some douche bag that doesn’t care about me.”

“That actually sounds kinda nice…”

“Uh-huh, I think you’ll have a much better time doing that than being a lap dog.”

“Thanks for the advice.”

“What are strangers for?” Eric realizes that he hasn’t introduced himself yet.

“Hi Stanger, I’m Eric.”

“Eri-”

“Actually, my name is Youngjae,” you give him a questioning look. “Eric is my English name, but I prefer Youngjae.” Eric was a name he rarely used even in America, Youngjae wasn’t a particularly special name to him but he thought that he wanted to get close to the person in front of him. He wanted this person to call him Youngjae. He wondered why he introduced himself as Eric to Kyungwon.

“Nice to meet you Youngjae, I’m Y/N. First-year.”

“It’s my first year too.”

“We might be the same age then,” You proceed to tell him your birthday and he tells you his. “So your birthday just passed. It probably doesn’t mean that much coming from me, but happy belated birthday.” Youngjae feels his heart tickle and he smiles at you.

“Thanks, I-” He is cut off by the sound of the door opening. A couple burst through the door kissing. The girl jumps at the sight of the other two bodies there and pushes her partner off her.

“I told you there would be others here!” she yells, pushing them back into the building, and you and Youngjae are taken aback for a bit forgetting the things you were going to say to each other before you break the silence with movement.

“Don’t stop me this time.” Youngjae is confused by your word for a moment, then you start to climb the fence again. Your head pokes over the top and you scream, “THIS PARTY BLOWS! DAMN YOU HEEJIN FOR NOT COMING!” suddenly you hear a burst of laughter from behind you.

“So that’s what you were trying to do before,” Youngjae holds his stomach while laughing.

“Stop laughing. Come up here it’s your turn,” without hesitation, he follows suit.

“Kyungwon, I’m done following you…! AND MY NAME ISN’T REALLY ERIC, IT’S YOUNGJAE!” He shouted with all his will, it was kind of embarrassing but it felt good. Now it was your turn to burst out laughing and Youngjae couldn’t help but laugh too. You both eventually climb down after a laughing fit and Youngjae speaks up.

“I wish I had friends like you.”

“You really have no other friends?” Youngjae looks away. “Well, I think I can fix that. I have some friends that might be more your style, you take out your phone, ready to give him your number. And ask if he might know of your friends since you all went to the same school.

“Really?” He sounded hopeful and a little excited, it was kinda cute. Checking the time you caught the moment the time changed, and it was now the New Year. You look to Youngjae and smile.

“Happy New Year! Let’s be friends.”

[reallifesultanas]

Portrait of Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş / Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş portréja

Origin and youth

Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş was a woman of Greek descent who was certainly captured during the Venetian-Ottoman War. The grimace of fate is that the outbreak of the war was attributable to Mehmed IV, who later became Emetullah's sweetheart. In the summer of 1645, Ibrahim I declared war on Venice and sent a large Turkish army to Crete. The immediate cause of the war was that Maltese pirates captured an Ottoman ship carrying several influential people. Among them was the wet-nurse of Mehmed IV and her own son, whom Sultan Ibrahim I loved very much. So much that the he cared more with the wet-nurse's son than he did with his own child, Mehmed. The war lasted for decades, until 1669, so it is not possible to determine exactly when Emetullah was captured.

Emetullah was a gift from a certain Deli Hüseyn Pasha, who took the Cretan slaves he had captured to the Sultan’s palace and recommended the bests to the sultan’s harem. Deli Hüseyn Pasha died in 1659, so Emetullah definitely joined the harem before that time. This, unfortunately, does not help us, for considering that Emetullah was already a favorite of the Sultan in 1660 and this had to be preceded by several years of education, so most likely she was captured before 1654. Many give the year 1645 as captivity, however, this is almost ruled out. In general, children under the age of 5 were not caught, because they caused more trouble than benefit, and were more likely to die during the long and tumultuous journey. Assuming that Emetullah was roughly the same old — or younger — than Mehmed IV (born in 1642), she could have been captured in 1648 at the earliest.

The consort

Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş matured into a beautiful young woman, making her perfectly suited to entertain the sultan. Emetullah is one of the few sultanas whose appearance is known in considerable detail. One of the ambassadors had the opportunity to see one of Emetullah's clothes and belts, on the basis of which he thought the Sultana was a taller-than-average but graceful. The same ambassador heard from his informant that the Sultana had fine skin and blue eyes. Other descriptions said she had black curly hair. Towards the end of her life, Emetullah was reportedly more plump than slender.

It is not known exactly when Mehmed started receiving concubines and when Emetullah became his favorite. Mehmed's first child, a girl, was born in 1660. According to circumstantial evidence, this girl, Hatice, was the first child of Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş. Based on this, we can assume that Emetullah became Mehmed’s partner in the late 1650s. However, their relationship had not really deepened at this point, as Mehmed spent the next period away from his harem, traveling a lot.

Shortly afterwards, the Sultan moved his entire court to Edirne, making it the de facto capital of the Empire. It was a perfect timing that his firstborn son, Mustafa, was born here in 1664. Mehmed was so happy for the birth of his son that he piled up the child’s mother, Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş, with amazing gifts and never left the woman alone from then on. He took her with him on his hunts and even on his campaigns. Together they had at least two more children, Ahmed (later Ahmed III) in 1673 and Fatma Emetullah in 1675. In addition to the four children mentioned above, Mehmed certainly had other children (Ayşe, Bayezid, Ümmügülsüm, Süleyman). The identity of their mother is unknown, it could have been Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş, but even other concubines.

As the Sultan’s favourit concubine, the mother of his children, Emetullah, was the second highest-ranking woman in the harem. Her relationship with the first woman of the harem is controversial. Some say Emetullah was an evil, violent woman who regularly confronted her mother-in-law, Mehmed’s mother, Turhan Hatice Valide Sultan. However, there is no evidence to that effect, in fact! Emetullah and Turhan certainly worked together periodically to achieve their political goals. In 1682, Grand Vizier Merzifonlu Kara Mustafa Pasha began to anger Turhan more and more, as he tried to make her political influence impossible. We don’t know what motivation Gülnüş was for, but she helped Turhan remove the pasha. Eventually, unfortunately, Turhan died before the pasha was deposed. Either way, this collaboration makes it unlikely that the relationship between Emetullah and Turhan would have been bad. In addition, Emetullah had a good relationship with Turhan’s eunuch, Yusuf Agha, which would also not have been possible if the two women did not like and respect each other.

Many blame Emetullah’s ambitions for the supposedly fragile relationship. Legend has it that Mehmed’s beloved, Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş, tried to persuade him to execute his half-brothers and make their own sons his heir instead. However, knowing the infinitely close relationship between Mehmed and his sons, we cannot rule out that Mehmed himself wanted to change the inheritance. Whoever was its inventor, no one supported the idea, not the people, not the pashas and not even Mehmed’s mother, Turhan. Turhan, to protect Prince Suleiman and Ahmed from death and his son from fall, always kept her two foster sons with her. If Turhan traveled, she took them with her so that Mehmed would not execute them in her absence.

Sultana on the campaigns

After the birth of Mustafa, the sultan did not want to go anywhere without Emetullah and his son. From then on, Emetullah accompanied her sweetheart everywhere, hence her nickname became, the "itinerant sultana". The first such campaign took place in 1672, when Mehmed took the whole harem of his, his mother, his Haseki, and his sisters to Polish territory. From this trip we are left with a description of an incident in which Emetullah’s silver carriage was stuck in the mud due to bad weather on the way to the Babadag camp. The sultan could not wait for hours for the carriage to be released, so Fazıl Ahmed Pasha, the Grand Vizier, was left with his men to help the Sultana. On August 28, 1672, Kamianets-Podilskyi fell and became the property of the Ottomans. Mosque were formed from all the churches in the city, one of which was named in honor of Gülnüş. With this she became the first and only Haseki Sultan to enjoy such a privilege.

They spent a few months near the front and then returned to Edirne. However, the agreement was crossed by the Polish, so in 1673 Mehmed was forced to return to the front and took his sweetheart with him again. This is particularly noteworthy and not just because the sultans had not taken their wives on the battlefield for centuries, but because Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş was already heavily pregnant with her second son. The baby was finally born during the campaign on 31 December 1673 at Hacıoglupazarı in present-day Bulgaria. This was the only time an Ottoman prince was born near the battlefield, away from the security of the capital or the provinces. The fact is, however, that this camp was also very far from the real war.

After the success of the Polish campaign, the Sultan retreated to Edirne, where in 1675 he organized a huge ceremony in which his two sons, Mustafa and Ahmed, were circumcised and his eldest daughter, Hatice, was married off. Mehmed's appearance was reported at the event, but many praised the princes and Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş, who attended the ceremony as well. According to one agha present, the Sultana was a beautiful woman with chesnut hair. It is questionable, of course, to what extent we can believe such descriptions, since her hair was certainly covered with a veil, even if she was present. Then in 1676 Mehmed embarked on another campaign - again, of course, with his sweetheart on his side - this time to match the Russians. The aim of the campaign was to rule over today's Ukrainian - then Polish - territories. Finally, in 1681, the campaign ended with an agreement.

The first woman in the harem and the fall

Whatever the relationship between Turhan and Emetullah was, with the death of Turhan in 1683, the road to the top of the harem opened up before Emetullah. Although her large-scale construction projects, as a Haseki, began during Turhan’s life, her political career could have really gained momentum only without Turhan. There is a known case, for example, in which one of Mustafa's teachers, Feyzullah Efendi, who was very close to Emetulla committed a mistake and was faced with severe punishment. Eventually, Emetullah intervened and saved the man's life.

However, Emetullah could not enjoy the control of the harem for long. The 1680s were about a series of tragedies. The enemies of the Ottoman Empire clashed in turn and squeezed the Ottomans more and more out of European territories. This caused general dissatisfaction, and then over time, chaos, executions, financial problems spread throughout the empire, more and more rebellions set in, and even natural disasters plagued the empire. Turhan's death was practically sealed the end of Mehmed IV also. He became increasingly unpopular, and suffered the final blow in 1687. After the tragic outcome of the second battle of Mohács, Mehmed was dethroned and his younger brother, Suleiman, was put to the throne, as Suleiman II. This meant Emetullah's move to the Old Palace.

Not only did Emetullah face the loss of her power and exile, but she was separated from her beloved. A member of Mehmed’s harem, the poet Afife Kadin, at this time composed one of her poems about Gülnüş. According to the verse, Gülnüş sobbed and shouted as long as her lungs could hold, while her loved one was torn away from her and locked up. While Mehmed sobbed quietly in the kafes, his beloved cried across the wall. In another verse of hers, Afife writes, "Tell Gülnüş to wear black / to suffer in pain / While Sultan Mehmed weeps in Şimşirlik" We do not know if Emetullah and Mehmed may have met until Mehmed's death in 1693.

Back to the top

Due to Süleyman II's ill condition, followed by the old Ahmed II, Emetullah did not have to linger in the Old Palace for long. In 1695, barely 8 years after her retirement, Emetullah was able to return as Valide Sultan. Ahmed II died in Edirne and Mustafa II took his place as Sultan. Emetullah was then in the Old Palace in Istanbul, so thats where she received the news. As part of a huge ceremony, Emetullah went from the Old Palace to Topkapi Palace and from there to Edirne. On the way to Edirne, several bridges had to be renovated before the Valide Sultan's arrival. The costs of the bridge-renovations  were recorded in the registers as Ahmed II's funeral expenses. Arriving in Edirne, her son welcomed the new Valide Sultan.

In the following years Edirne remained the de facto capital of the Empire. The sultan spent only a short period of time in Istanbul with his court, and then they were not resided in Topkapi Palace either, but preferred other palaces. Mustafa and Emetullah quickly gathered their trustworthy men around them and began to rule according to their own tastes. Thus, for example, the Feyzullah Efendi who had previously been rescued from execution by Emetullah, became the Seyhülislam. During Mustafa's reign, Emetullah built an unprecedented power for herself, her all-intertwined political influence was huge and also her son openly discussed state affairs with her. In addition, Emetullah regularly showed up among the people, leaving the harem, visiting her daughters or foundations. She lived a fairly free life. So much that at certain events she stood right next to her son, veiled but not hiding. At other times, she welcomed Seyhülislam, Grand Vizier, or other influential statesmen openly or were present at parades in Eyüb.

Emetullah’s tremendous influence over her son, the rampant corruption among statesmen, and the neglect of Istanbul all provoked the displeasure of the people. In 1703 a huge revolt broke out in the capital, but it quickly reached Edirne as well. Emetullah provided good advice to her son, trying to quickly replace any statesman who might have harmed them, but it was too late. During the rebellion Mustafa II was dethroned. The rebels refused to ascend Mustafa's younger brother, Ahmed, as he was also the son of Emetullah. They wanted to replace Mustafa II with the 11-years-old Şehzade Ibrahim, the son of Ahmed II and his Haseki, Rabia Sultan . The ulema, however, rejected this based on the boy's age, and as a polite gesture a letter was written to Emetullah asking for permission to dethrone Mustafa and replace him with Ahmed III. Although she had no real say, Emetullah responded in agreement:"All of you have requested in concord and unanimity that my majestic son Sultan Ahmed be seated on the imperial throne and that my other son Sultan Mustafa be deposed. Your petition has been complied with."

However, the dethronement of Mustafa was far from enough for the rebels. Gülnüş was demanded to leave Edirne or Topkapi Palace and retire to the Old Palace. Emetullah did indeed remain there until the circumstances calmed down enough for her to return. Perhaps she did not even regret her retreat, for Mustafa, her firstborn son, died in December 1703 of natural causes.

Shadow Valide

The pashas tried to keep Gülnüş away from her son and from state affairs because they feared a revenge from Emetullah on Mustafa's dethronement and subsequent death. They feared they would face a revenge campaign like the pashas who in 1648 dethroned and executed the son of Kösem Sultan, Ibrahim I. In the meantime, however, it turned out that Gülnüş did not even think of revenge. She learned from her previous mistakes and from the end of the Kösem Sultan, so she was much more careful and respectful with the pashas from then on than before. There were rewards for this.

One of Ahmed III’s first steps was to take the imperial court back to Istanbul, so Edirne ceased to be the de facto capital. To increase the sultan’s popularity among the people of Istanbul, plenty of public events were organized, such as archery competitions. Of course Gülnüş tried to help her second son, Ahmed III, but she did it all from the background. However, her participation in political life is by no means conditional. Several letters have survived, which she exchanged with the pashas during Ahmed III's reign. When one of the Grand Vizier tried to have a say in which eunuch Gülnüş would appoint to lead the harem, he quickly found himself without a position. So Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş did not give up politics at all, only she played it in a smarter and less spectacularly way.

Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş returned to the limelight once again. In 1709, during the war between the Russians and the Swedes, the Swedish king was captured and then found refuge in the Ottoman Empire. The king sought the help of the Ottomans to regain his throne. Emetullah, along with the second Vizier Damat Silahdar Ali Pasha, publicly stood by the king's request and tried to persuade Ahmed III to wage war against the Russians. The other members of the divan, such as the Grand Vizier, did not agree at all with Gülnüş's will, so a controversy ensued. Ahmed III finally, following the advice of his mother, went to war with the Russian Empire in 1711. The war ended with treaties.

Her death and legacy

Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş followed her son from Istanbul to Edirne in the summer of 1715 to welcome there the army of the Grand Vizier, who had successfully re-conquered Morea from the Venetians. Her health here deteriorated in a few months and whatever the best doctors of the empire tried Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş died on November 6, 1715, in Edirne. Funeral prayers were held in Edirne in the presence of the Sultan, Grand Vizier, Ulema, and all important statesmen, and then her body was taken back to Istanbul, where she was buried in her own tomb on November 9th. Her turbe is particularly interesting, as it is not covered like most dynastic tombs, but open to the sky. By the way, this was built according to Emetullah's own wishes. There are plenty of plants and water in the octagonal tomb, which was probably built like that to resemble the Garden of Eden.

During her life, Gülnüş managed several construction projects, during which mosques, soup kitchens, schools, fountains and a tomb were built. But she converted several former churches into mosques also, and others were named in his honor. She also had foundations in Üsküdar, Edirne, Chios, Mecca, Medina, Kastamonu and Menemen.

Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş was the last valide sultan during the period of the Sultanate of Women. Although there were still some Valide with exceptional influence after her, no one was able to gain an influence similar to her and her predecessors anymore. It was the death of Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş that eventually completely ended the period of the Sultanate of Women. True, she was not the last Haseki Sultan, because her brother-in-law Ahmed II had a Haseki, Rabia Sultan, but the woman had already died in 1712 before Emetullah. So with the death of Gülnüş, on November 6, 1715, the more than 180-years-long period of the Sultanate of Women ended. The Sultanate of Women was followed by the Tulip era, which was one of the most peaceful periods in the history of the empire, during which Westernization began.

Used sources: B. İ. Argıt - A Queen Mother and the Ottoman Imperial Harem: Rabia Gülnuş Emetullah Valide Sultan (1640-1715); M. Ç. Uluçay - Padişahların Kadınları ve Kızları, Y.Öztuna - Devletler ve Hanedanlar, N. Sakaoğlu - Bu Mülkün Kadın Sultanları; M. Özgüleş - The Women Who Built the Ottoman World: Female Patronage and the Architectural Legacy of Gülnuş Sultan; H. G. Majer - The Harem of Mustafa II (1695-1703); J. Dumas - Les perles de nacre du sultanat; A. D. Alderson - The Structure of the Ottoman Dynasty; L. Peirce - The Imperial Harem: Women and Sovereignty in the Ottoman Empire; C. Finkel - Osman's Dream: The Story of the Ottoman Empire

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Származása fiatalkora

Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş görög származású nő volt, akit minden bizonnyal a velencei-oszmán háború során fogtak el. A sors fintora, hogy a háború kirobbanása köthető volt IV. Mehmedhez, aki később Emetullah kedvese lett. I. Ibrahim 1645 nyarán hadat üzent Velencének és egy nagy török sereget küldött Krétára. A háború közvetlen oka az volt, hogy máltai kalózok fogtak el egy oszmán felségjelzésű hajót, mely több befolyásos személyt szállított. Köztük volt IV. Mehmed szoptatósdajkája és annak fia, akiket I. Ibrahim szultán nagyon szeretett. Olyannyira, hogy a szoptatósdajka fiával többet törődött, mint saját gyermekével, Mehmeddel. A háború évtizedeken keresztül zajlott, egészen 1669-ig, így pontosan nem meghatározható, hogy Emetullah mikor esett fogságba.

Emetullah egy bizonyos Deli Hüseyn Pasa ajándéka volt, aki a saját maga által ejtett krétai rabszolgákat vitte a szultáni palotába és a legjobbakat a szultán háremébe ajánlotta. Deli Hüseyn Pasa 1659-ben elhunyt, így Emetullah mindenképp ezen időpont előtt került a hárembe. Ez sajnos nem segít nekünk, ugyanis tekintve, hogy Emetullah 1660-ban már a szultán kedvence volt és ezt több éves oktatás kellett, hogy megelőzze, a legvalószínűbb, hogy 1654 előtt esett fogságba. Sokan adják meg az 1645-ös évet, mint fogságba esés, azonban ez szinte kizárt. Általában 5 év alatti gyerekeket nem fogtak el, velük több volt a baj, mint a haszon és nagy eséllyel haltak meg a hosszú és viszontagságos út során. Ha feltételezzük, hogy Emetullah nagyjából egy idős volt - vagy fiatalabb -, mint IV Mehmed (1642), legkorábban 1648-ban eshetett fogságba.

Az ágyas

Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş csodaszép fiatal nővé érett, így tökéletesen alkalmas lett a szultán szórakoztatására. Emetullah azon kevés szultána közé tartozik, akinek külsejét meglehetősen részletesen ismerjük. Az egyik követnek lehetősége volt látni Emetullah egyik ruháját és övét, mely alapján az átlagnál magasabb, de kecses nőnek gondolta a szultánát. Ugyanez a követ úgy hallotta informátorától, hogy a szultánának finom bőre és kék szeme van. Más leírások szerint fekete göndör haja volt. Élete vége felé Emetullah a beszámolók szerint inkább volt telt, mint karcsú.

Nem tudni pontosan, hogy Mehmed mikor kezdett ágyasokat fogadni és hogy Emetullah mikor vált a kedvencévé. Mehmed első gyermeke, egy kislány 1660-ban született. Közvetett bizonyítékok alapján ez a lány, Hatice, Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş első gyermeke volt. Ez alapján feltételezhetjük, hogy Emetullah a kései 1650-es években vált Mehmed partnerévé. Kapcsolatuk azonban ekkoriban még nem mélyült el igazán, hiszen Mehmed a következő időszakot a háremétől távol töltötte, sokat utazott.

A szultán nemsokkal később az egész udvartartását áthelyezte Edirnébe, ezzel gyakorlatilag mintegy de facto fővárossá tette meg az általa annyira kedvelt várost. Tökéletes időzítés volt, hogy elsőszülött fia, Musztafa itt látta meg a napvilágot 1664-ben. Mehmed annyira örült fia születésének, hogy elképesztő ajándékokkal halmozta el a gyermek anyját, Emetullah Rabia Gülnüşt és innentől kezdve sosem hagyta magára a nőt. Magával vitte a vadászataira, sőt hadjárataira is. Együtt még legalább két gyermekük született, Ahmed (későbbi III. Ahmed) 1673-ban és Fatma Emetullah 1675-ben. Mehmednek a fent említett négy gyermeken kívül bizonyosan voltak más gyermekei (Ayşe, Bayezid, Ümmügülsüm, Süleyman). Az ő anyjuk kiléte ismeretlen, lehetett Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş is, de akár más ágyasok is.

Mint a szultán kiemelt ágyasa, gyermekeinek anyja Emetullah a hárem második legmagasabb rangú asszonya volt. Viszonya a hárem első asszonyával ellentmondásos. Egyesek szerint Emetullah gonosz, erőszakos nő volt, aki rendszeresen szállt szembe anyósával, Mehmed édesanyjával, Turhan Hatice Valide szultánával. Azonban nincs erre utaló bizonyíték, sőt! Emetullah és Turhan időszakosan bizonyosan együttműködtek, hogy politikai céljaikat elérjék. 1682-ben Merzifonlu Kara Mustafa Pasa nagyvezír egyre jobban kezdte dühíteni Turhant, ugyanis próbálta ellehetetleníteni annak politikai befolyását. Azt nem tudjuk, hogy Gülnüş milyen motiváció miatt, de segített Turhannak a pasa eltávolításában. Végül sajnos Turhan előbb halt meg, minthogy a pasát lefokozták volna. Akárhogyan is, ez az együttműködés teszi valószínűtlenné, hogy Emetullah és Turhan közt rideg lett volna a kapcsolat. Mindemellett Emetullah jó viszonyt ápolt Turhan eunuchjával, Yusuf Agával, ami szintén nem lett volna lehetséges, ha a két nő nem kedveli és tiszteli egymást.

Sokan a feltételezett rideg kapcsolatért Emetullah ambícióit okolják. A legenda úgy tartja, hogy Mehmedet kedvese, Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş szultána igyekezett meggyőzni arról, hogy végeztesse ki elzárva tartott féltestvéreit és helyettük közös fiaikat tegye meg örökösének. Ismerve azonban a Mehmed és fiai közt fennálló végtelenül szoros viszonyt, nem zárhatjuk ki, hogy maga Mehmed kívánta megváltoztatni az öröklést. Akárki is volt a kifundálója, senki sem támogatta az ötletet, sem a nép, sem a pasák és Mehmed anyja, Turhan szultána sem. Turhan, hogy megóvja Szulejmán és Ahmed hercegeket a haláltól, fiát pedig a bukástól, mindig maga mellett tartotta két nevelt fiát. Ha Turhan utazott, magával vitte őket, nehogy távollétében Mehmed kivégeztesse őket.

Szultána a fronton

Musztafa születése után a szultán nem kívánt Emetullah és fia nélkül bárhová is menni. Innentől kezdve Emetullah mindenhová elkísérte kedvesét, innen ered beceneve, a "vándorló szultána" (itinerant sultan). Az első ilyen hadjáratra 1672-ben került sor, mikor Mehmed az egész háremét, anyját, Haszekijét, húgait is magával vitte a lengyel területekre. Erről az útról marad ránk egy esemény leírása, miszerint babadagi tábor felé vezető úton a rossz időjárási viszonyok miatt Emetullah ezüst fogata beragadt a sárba. A szultán nem várhatott órákat, amíg az elakadt kocsit kiszabadítják, így Fazıl Ahmed Pasa, a nagyvezír maradt hátra embereivel, hogy segítse a szultánát. 1672. augusztus 28-én Kamianets-Podilskyi elesett és az oszmánoké lett. A városban található összes templomból mecsetet alakítottak, melyek közül az egyiket Gülnüş tiszteletére nevetek el. Ezzel ő lett az első és egyetlen Haszeki szultána, aki ilyen kiváltságban részesülhetett.

Néhány hónapot töltöttek a front közelében, majd visszatértek Edirnébe. A megkötött egyezséget azonban a lengyelek keresztülhúzták, így 1673-ban Mehmed kénytelen volt visszatérni a frontra és magával vitte kedvesét is. Ez azért különösen említésre méltó, mert azontúl, hogy a szultánok évszázadok óta nem vitték harctérre asszonyaikat, Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş már előrehaladott terhes volt második fiával, akit végül a hadjáraton szült meg 1673. december 31-én Hacıoglupazarınál, a mai Bulgária területén. Ez a valaha volt egyetlen olyan eset, amikor egy oszmán herceg a hadszíntéren született meg, távol a főváros vagy a provinciák biztonságától. Tény azonban, hogy ez a tábor is igen távol volt a valódi fronttól.

A lengyel hadjárat sikere után a szultán Edirnébe vonult vissza, ahol 1675-ben hatalmas ünnepséget szervezett, melyen két fiát Musztafát és Ahmedet körülmetélték, legidősebb lányát Haticét pedig kiházasította. Az eseményen beszámoltak Mehmed külleméről, de sokan méltatták a herceget és Mehmed mellett az ünnepségen résztvevő Emetullah Rabia Gülnüşt is. Az egyik jelenlévő szerint a szultána gesztenyebarna hajú, gyönyörű nő volt. Kérdéses persze mennyire hihetünk az ilyen jellegű leírásoknak, hiszen haját egészen biztosan fátyol fedte, ha jelen volt is. 1676-ban aztán Mehmed újabb hadjáratra indult - természetesen ismét kedvesével az oldalán -, ezúttal az oroszokkal kívánt megmérkőzni. A hadjárat célja az mai ukrán - akkori lengyel - területek feletti uralom volt. Végül 1681-ben megállapodással zárult le a hadjárat.

A hárem első asszonya és a bukás

Bármilyen volt is Turhan és Emetullah kapcsolata, Turhan 1683-as halálával megnyílt Emetullah előtt az út a hárem csúcsára. Bár nagyszabású Haszekiként végzett építési projektjei még Turhan életében elkezdődtek, politikai karrierje ekkor lendülhetett meg igazán. Ismert például egy eset, mikor Musztafa egyik tanítója - aki igen közel állt Emetullahoz - Feyzullah Efendi hibát követett el és súlyos büntetés volt kilátásba helyeztve számára. Végül Emetullah közbelépett és megmentette a férfi életét.

Emetullah nem élvezhette azonban sokáig a hárem irányítását. Az 1680-as évek a sorozatos tragédiákról szóltak. Az Oszmán Birodalom ellenségei sorra fogtak össze egymással és szorították egyre kintebb az oszmánokat az európai területekről. Ez általános elégedetlenséget okozott, majd idővel káosz, kivégzések, anyagi problémák terjedtek el mindenhol a birodalomban, egyre több lázadás indult útjára és még természeti katasztrófák is sújtották a tragikus helyzetben lévő birodalmat. Gyakorlatilag már anyja halálával megpecsételődött Mehmed sorsa, egyre népszerűtlenebb lett, a végső csapást pedig 1687-ben szenvedte el. A második mohácsi csata tragikus kimenetele után Mehmedet trónfosztották és öccsét, Szulejmánt ültették trónra, aki így évtizedekig tartó elzárt élete után megkezdhette uralkodását II. Szulejmán néven. Ez egyet jelentett Emetullah Régi Palotába való költözésével.

Emetulláhnak nem csak a hatalma elvesztésével és száműzetéssel kellett szembenéznie, de elválasztották őt kedvesétől. Mehmed háremének egy tagja, a költő Afife Kadin ekkoriban komponálta egyik Emetullah Rabia Gülnüşről szóló versét. A vers szerint Gülnüş szultána addig zokogott és kiáltozott, mikor kedvesét a szultánt elszakították tőle és elzárták, amíg csak bírta a tüdeje. Mehmed pedig csendben zokogott a kafesben, míg szerelme a fal túloldalán sírt. Egy másik versében azt írja "Mondd Gülnüşnek, viseljen feketét / hogy abban szenvedje el fájdalmát / míg Mehmed szultán Şimşirlikben sír". Nem tudjuk, hogy Emetullah és Mehmed találkozhattak e még Mehmed 1693-as haláláig.

Vissza a csúcsra

II. Szulejmán szultán beteges állapota miatt, majd az őt követő II. Ahmed kora miatt nem kellett Emetullahnak sokáig a Régi Palotában senyvedni. 1695-ben, alig 8 év után Emetullah valide szultánaként térhetett vissza. II. Ahmed Edirnében hunyt el és a szintén jelenlévő II. Musztafa vette át a helyét szultánként. Emetullah ekkor Isztambulban a Régi Palotában volt, itt kapta meg a hírt. Emetullah hatalmas ünnepség keretei között a Régi Palotából a Topkapi Palotába ment, onnan pedig Edirnébe. Az Edirnébe való út során több hidat kellett megújítani a valide szultána előtt, melyek költségeit mind II. Ahmed temetési költségeiként vezettek fel a jegyzőkönyvekbe. Edirnébe érve fia üdvözölte az új valide szultánát.

A következő években is Edirne maradt a birodalom központja, csak rövidebb időszakot töltött az udvar Isztambulban és akkor sem a Topkapi Palotában voltak, hanem más palotákat részesítettek előnyben. Musztafa és Emetullah gyorsan maguk köré gyűjtötték megbízható embereiket és saját szájízük szerint kezdtek uralkodni. Így lett például Seyhülislam abból a Feyzullah Efendiből, akit korábban már egyszer Emetullah megmentett a kivégzéstől. Musztafa uralkodása alatt Emetullah sosem látott hatalmat épített magának, mindent átszőtt politikai befolyása de fia is nyíltan megvitatta vele az államügyeket. Emellett Emetullah rendszeresen mutatkozott az emberek közt, hagyta el a háremet, látogatta meg lányait vagy alapítványait. Meglehetősen szabad életet élt. Olyannyira, hogy bizonyos eseményeken egyenesen fia mellett állt elfátyolozva, de nem elbújva. Máskor a Seyhülislamot, nagyvezírt vagy más befolyásos államférfiakat fogadott nyíltan vagy parádékat tekintett meg Eyüb városrészben.

Emetullah hatalmas befolyása fiára, az államférfiak közt dívó korrupció és Isztambul elhanyagolása mind a nép nemtetszését váltották ki. 1703-ban hatalmas lázadás tört ki a fővárosban, de gyorsan elérte Edirnét is. Emetullah jó tanácsokkal látta el fiát, igyekeztek gyorsan leváltani minden államférfit, aki kárt okozhatott volna nekik, de már késő volt. A lázadás során II. Musztafát trónfosztották. A lázadók azt is elutasították, hogy Musztafa öccsét, Ahmedet emeljék trónra, hiszen ő is Emetullah fia volt, helyette II. Ahmed és Haseki Rabia szultána 11 éves fiát, Ibrahim herceget akarták a trónra ültetni. Az ulema azonban ezt elutasította a fiú korára való tekintettel és illedelmes gesztusként levelet írtak Emetullahnak, melyben engedélyét kérték Musztafa trónfosztásához. Bár nem volt valódi beleszólása, Emetullah beleegyezően válaszolt.

A lázadóknak azonban Musztafa trónfosztása távolról sem volt elég. Követelték, hogy Gülnüş hagyja el a Topkapi palotát és vonuljon vissza a Régi Palotába. Emetullah valóban ott maradt, amíg a körülmények nem nyugodtak meg eléggé visszatéréséhez. Talán nem is bánta az elvonult életet, ugyanis Musztafa, elsőszülött fia 1703 decemberében természetes okok következtében elhunyt.

Árnyék Valide

A pasák azért igyekeztek Gülnüşt távol tartani fiától és az államügyektől, mert attól tartottak bosszút állna rajtuk Musztafa trónfosztása és későbbi halála miatt. Féltek, hogy egy olyan bosszúhadjárattal találnák szembe magukat, mint azok a pasák, akik 1648-ban Köszem szultána fiát, Ibrahimot trónfosztották és kivégezték. Gülnüşről azonban időközben kiderült, hogy eszében sincs bosszút állni. Tanult az esetből és Köszem szultána halálából, így sokkal óvatosabban, tisztelettudóbban viselkedett a pasákkal, mint korábban. Ennek meg is lett az eredménye.

III. Ahmed egyik első lépése az volt, hogy a birodalmi udvartartást újra visszavitte Isztambulba, így Edirne megszűnt de facto fővárosnak lenni. Hogy a szultán népszerűsgét növeljék Isztambul népe között, rengeteg nyilvános eseményt szerveztek, például íjászati bemutatókat. Természetesen Gülnüş második fia, III. Ahmed uralkodása során is kényelemben élt és igyekezett segíteni fiát, de mindezt a háttérből tette. Részvétele a politikai életben azonban egyáltalán nem feltételes. Fennmaradt több levele is, melyet a pasákkal váltott III. Ahmed uralkodása során. Mindemellett, amikor az egyik nagyvezír megpróbált beleszólni abba, hogy Gülnüş melyik eunuchot nevezi ki a hárem élére gyorsan pozíció nélkül találta magát. Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş tehát egyáltalán nem hagyott fel a politikával, csak azt okosabban és kevésbé látványosan tette.

Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş még egyszer visszatért a rivaldafénybe. 1709-ben az oroszok és svédek közti háború során a svéd király fogságba esett, majd az Oszmán Birodalomban talált menedékre. A király az oszmánok segítségét kérte, hogy visszaszerezhesse trónját. Emetullah a második vezír Damat Silahdar Ali Pasával karöltve nyilvánosan álltak a király kérése mellé és igyekeztek rávenni III. Ahmedet, hogy vállaljon háborút az oroszokkal. A divan más tagjai, így a nagyvezír egyáltalán nem értettek egyet Gülnüş akaratával, így vita alakult ki. III. Ahmed végül az édesanyja tanácsát követve bocsátkozott 1711-ben háborúba az Orosz Birodalommal, mely egyezményekkel zárult.

Halála és hagyatéka

Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş 1715 nyarán követte fiát Isztambulból Edirnébe, hogy ott üdvözöljék a nagyvezír seregét, aki sikeresen hódította vissza Moreát a velenceiektől. Egészsége itt néhány hónap alatt leromlott és bármivel is próbálkoztak a birodalom legjobb orvosai Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş 1715. november 6-án, Edirnében meghalt. A temetési imákat Edirnében mondták a szultán, nagyvezír, ulema és minden fontos államférfi jelenlétében, majd testét visszavitték Isztambulba, ahol saját türbéjében temették el november 9-én. Türbéje kifejezetten érdekes, ugyanis nem fedett, mint a legtöbb dinaszitkus türbe, hanem az ég felé nyitott. Ez egyébként Emetullah saját kívánsága szerint épült így. Az oktagonális türbében rengeteg a növény és a víz, mely valószínűleg amiatt épült így, hogy hasonlítson az Édenkertre.

Élete során Gülnüş több építkezési projektet menedzselt, melynek során mecset, leveskonyha, iskola, kút, türbe épült. De több korábbi templomot építtetett át mecsetté, másokat pedig tiszteletére neveztek el. Emellett volt alapítványa Üsküdarban, Edirnében, Chiosban, Mekkában, Medinában, Kastamonuban és Menemenben.

Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş volt az utolsó valide szultána a Nők szultánátusának időszakában. Bár utána is akadt néhány kivételes befolyással bíró Valide, az övéhez és elődeihez hasonló befolyást senkinek sem sikerült többé szerezni. Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş halála volt az, amely végül teljesen lezárta a Nők szultánátusának időszakát is. Igaz, nem ő volt az utolsó Haszeki szultána, mert sógorának II. Ahmednek volt egy Haszekije, Rabia Sultan, a nő már Emetullah előtt, 1712-ben meghalt. Gülnüş halálával, 1715. november 6-n lezárult az a több, mint 180 éves időszak, mely során befolyásosabbnál befolyásosabb nők váltották egymást az Oszmán Birodalom előkelőségei között. A Nők szultánátusát a Tulipán éra követte, mely az egyik legbékésebb időszaka volt a birodalom történetének, és mely során elindult a nyugatosodás a birodalomban.

Felhasznált források: B. İ. Argıt - A Queen Mother and the Ottoman Imperial Harem: Rabia Gülnuş Emetullah Valide Sultan (1640-1715); M. Ç. Uluçay - Padişahların Kadınları ve Kızları, Y.Öztuna - Devletler ve Hanedanlar, N. Sakaoğlu - Bu Mülkün Kadın Sultanları; M. Özgüleş - The Women Who Built the Ottoman World: Female Patronage and the Architectural Legacy of Gülnuş Sultan; H. G. Majer - The Harem of Mustafa II (1695-1703); J. Dumas - Les perles de nacre du sultanat; A. D. Alderson - The Structure of the Ottoman Dynasty; L. Peirce - The Imperial Harem: Women and Sovereignty in the Ottoman Empire; C. Finkel - Osman's Dream: The Story of the Ottoman Empire

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

HASO, “Freak of Nature.”

A continuation from yesterday. I hope you all enjoy, and I hope you enjoy the setup for some other stories I am planning on doing :)

Have a good day!

Breaking News

The Galaxy is left stunned after the events of late yesterday evening, when a single armed shooter appeared from the crowd and fired on UNSC leader and cultural icon Admiral Vir during a routine press conference given at UNSC headquarters Fort Harmony on the eastern Mericandian coast. Reports describe the event as happening midway through Admiral Vir’s address as the single, hooded female pushed through the crowd and drew a handgun on the Admiral firing once before fleeing into the crowd. She was apprehended by armed security agents only moments later as she tried to flee the scene. On scene witnesses report that an accompanying marine tackled Admiral Vir to the ground just as the shot was fired.

 In a statement made early this morning by Admiral Vir  he reports that, “Thanks to the brave actions of Corporal Angel Ramirez I am alive and unharmed.” Corporal Angel Ramirez is a decorated veteren of the UNSC deep space division and served his first tour aboard the UNSC Enterprise on its maiden voyage. Since then he has served under Admiral Vir on both the UNSC Harbinger and most recently the Omen distinguishing himself in combat during the Burg war and the Kree engagement. Our sources report that Corporal Ramirez was once an up and coming champion in the Mericandian winter Olympic ice skating team before joining the marines. 

Reports say that the corporal came out of surgery early this morning and is in stable but critical condition. 

The only question remains is who would attempt an assasination on such a beloved cultural icon. More on that with our crime reporter Jim Shaw.

Thank you, Emily, early this morning we received reports from Fort harmony officials that the name and identity of the shooter is 37 year old Adrea Halen member of a traditionalist leaning moderate group the Hunt Party, who have condemned Admiral Vir in the past for his support of legalizing extrial relationships. President Hunt, leader of the hunt Party and CEO of Hunt Metals said in a statement today. “Our party had nothing to do with Ms. Halen’s actions, while we disagree with Admiral Vir on some fundamentals of government, we would never attempt to silence him through violence. At the end of the day Admiral Vir has done far more good than he has bad and no man deserves to die due to his political views. What Ms halen has done is condemnable, and the party does not support her actions.”

Further comment was withheld until a later date. As of yet police have been unable to determine if she acted alone or with the assistance of the group. Police chief Henry Winzer added in his statement today, “Ms. Halen has not, as of yet, divulged her motives behind the shooting, however based on preliminary evidence of the scene it seems as if these were the actions of a woman acting alone. Detectives have been unable to find any correspondence between her and a third party and even her husband had been out of the country for the past few months.”

Her motive remains, as of yet, unknown. There is evidence of a radicalized political view since she did attempt and target Admiral Vir, and some of her personal social media content has been leaked to the public reporting her dissatisfaction with going the GA and her open disgust for extrial activities especially in regards her oldest son who was in a relationship with a Finnari before moving to Noctropolis. We have since been unable to contact him.

In the past Admiral Vir has been known as a great political proponent in favor of extrial relationships, and a non isolationist view having once said that, “Cooperation and companionship with the GA will be the bedrock of human expansion into space.” With the popularity of Admiral Vir as a cultural Icon, it can be said that his political views have been influential on the younger upcoming generations of today, while the older populace still remains wary of political involvement with extraterrestrial life. In oth-

Adam shut off the TV sinking back into one of the stiff plastic chairs that adorned the hospital waiting room. His eyes felt grainy and dry, and his head ached dully behind his eyes. Off in the corner of the room much of Ramirez’s family lay asleep on the plastic chairs including his father and otters who had arrived late last night. They had fallen asleep after a nurse ventured in a few hours to go to let them know that he was stable and alive. Adam himself had not been able to sleep thinking about his friend, replaying the moment over and over in his head wondering if there was something he could have done to prevent all of this from happening. But the more he thought the more he realized that it was probably unlikely. He might have been able to dive out of the way himself before the shot was fired, but Ramirez was already in motion before that.

He couldn’t have seen it coming, no one could have, and no one did.

Ramirez had just been the fastest.

He sunk back into his chair miserably and stared at the wall. There were no windows in this room, the guard detail had insisted upon it incase someone else tried for his life. It all seemed so strange to him. Why would anyone want to kill him? 

He knew the answer though, as much as he wanted to think he was just some nobody, he wasn’t anymore. He was… a political figure, someone who could influence what happened in the galaxy and there were plenty of people who weren’t bound to agree with him on a lot of things.

He just wondered why he hadn’t seen this coming sooner.

His implant buzzed, and he looked down to see that his mother was calling. Whoopse, she wasn’t going to be happy that she was just hearing about this over the news, but he knew he needed to talk to her. He stood and made his way into the hallway, where a protection detail eyed him hawkishly.

Closing the door behind him, so as not to disturb its sleeping occupants, he answered the call, speaking out loud as the implants in his throat and ear picked up the sound, “Hey, mom.” 

“Adam! Adam are you alright! I just saw the news.”

“Yeah, yea I’m ok.” He took a deep breath, “Sorry I didn’t call. It’s just been kinda hectic.”

“And you’re sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah, I mean, I feel like shit but no bullet wounds….” he trailed off 

There was silence for a moment, ‘I’m so sorry sweetheart, how is Ramirez?”

“Doctor’s haven’t given us all the details yet, but he's at least alive and survived surgery.”

“Thank goodness…. We owe that boy.”

“I know, mom…. I know.”

Just then he heard voices off down the hall and turned to see Dr. kill and Dr Katie approaching from the wings.

“Mom, I’ve gotta go, but I’ll call you as soon as I can, Ok?”

“Ok.” 

She let him go and he hung up as the two doctors approached.

“How is he!”

They motioned him into the room and he followed just as Ramirez’s family members were waking up.

Adam hovered near the door not entirely sure if he was supposed to be there. Ramirez’s mother sat up, “Is h ok!”

Dr. Kati and Dr Krill glanced at Adam. Adam realized with Dr. patient confidentiality, and it being family, he probably wasn’t supposed to be here. He went to step outside, but Ramirez’s abuela waved him back.

Ramirez an Dr Katie nodded.

The little alien stepped forward towards the family, “I have both good and bad news.”

The group waited with bated breath.

“THe good news is that your son made it through surgery. He is stable and recovering in the ICU.” he glanced over at Katie, “The bullet went in through his back, through his right kidney and perforated some of his lower bowl. We were able to fix the tears but the kidney…. Was not salvageable.”

The family glanced back and forth between each other, “That…. That’s not so bad though. He has two….”

Krill shifted slightly, “Well that is the remarkable thing and also the bad news but…. Your son only had one kidney. We wouldn’t have noticed it were it not for our imaging, but it seems he has lived with this defect his entire life without complication.”

Dr. Katie Cut in just then, “Since he was born with the defect, his body compensated. The kidney that was destroyed was much larger than average…” She trailed off 

The family members looked between each other, “So…. So what does this mean.”

“We have him on dialysis right now, and he is going to need a kidney transplant.” Dr. Katie folded her hands, “There are a few options, there is always the possibility of getting him a donor kidney or equally possible and more…. Advisable would be to have a kidney grown for him using his own stem cells, that way we can grow him one like the one he lost considering there is no way for us to give him two. If he were to get a donor kidney, he would have to undergo chronic gene therapy to avoid medications that would leave him immunocompromised. However in that case he would need to be medically discharged. If we were to grow him a new kidney, he would be able to return to his post without being discharged, but the cost is…. Admittedly much higher.”

The family glanced between each other their faces pulled into grimaces.

Adam knew their financial situation. He had heard stories about Ramirez growing up and knew enough to know that his family had never been well off. They had been close, his childhood had been excellent, but they had never been rich. Affording either of those options was going to be a stretch.

“Well we will have to talk about-”

“I’ll pay for it.”

The entire room turned to look at him.

“You-”

“I said I will pay for it. With the settlement for the court case, I can pay for it. He saved my life this is the least I can do, Please…”

His pleading was so plaintive that the family could hardly say no. He did have a point as well. Instead, he received an enthusiastic hug from Ramirez’s younger sister who clasped her arms around him and nearly snapped him in half with her strength. She was an olympic boxer after all, so he wasn’t surprised.

“Thank you thank you thank you.” She repeated.

Dr. Katie looked at him with a pointed expression, but she didn’t need to ask. He intended to pay for every last cent of Ramirez’s treatment even if he had to fight his abuela for it. He wasn’t entirely sure he’d win against her, but he would damn sure try if it meant doing something fo his friend.

He owed him after all.

And even if he didn’t Ramirez was his best friend. This wasn’t about owing him, this was about doing anything for someone he cared about.

Dr. Krill shifted in his place, “We will get the equipment ready and start later this week. I…. would be honored to perform the operation. I will be upfront with you and say that I am the universe's foremost surgeon, but I would also be the first Alien to perform a transplant”

“I of course, you saved his life last night-”

They seemed almost in shock. Everything was being paid for and the universe most renowned surgeon was practically begging to do it.

The only way this could have been better is if their son hadn’t been shot in the first place.

***

The steady beeping of the machine echoed around the room. Adam sat with one ankle crossed over a knee looking down at his implant and absently reading through that day’s news report as a soft whirring came from the machine just to his right. He wasn’ technically supposed to be here, but the doctors had made an exception for him and the family. On the other side of that a glass tube was busy growing an extra kidney. There was security outside the door and a doctor came in every few minutes to check on the kidney, and the man to which the kidney belonged.

Adam scrolled dow.

There was a shifting just to his side, and with relief Adam looked up to find Ramirez stirring. The man tried to open his eyes but squinted against the light and groaned raising one IV tethered hand to block the light.

Adam leaned over resting a hand on his arm, “Hey you’re finally awake.”

Ramirez cracked an eye at him and groaned.

“Come on ya freak wake up.”

Ramirez closed his eyes again, “Why…. When I wake up do I have to see your ugly ass.

Adam snorted, “How sweet, freak.”

“Freak, have you looked at yourself lately.”

“At least I was born with all my kidneys.”

Ramirez opened his eyes and frowned, “What?”

Adam smiled slightly, “Turns out your dumbass has lived his entire life with only one kidney. Congratulations, you are a freak of nature.”

“No shit, really? I had no idea.”

“We know, anyway the bullet sort of ruined it, so you have to get a new one. He pointed across the room to the glass tube and its slowly growing kidney which was no bigger than a jellybean right at that moment.”

Ramirez looked and frowned, “Ew, gross… wait who's paying for that,because I don’t think the military covers transplants.”

“It's taken care of.”

“By who.”

“By someone.”

“Someone who.”

“Someone who would rather remain unnamed.”

Ramirez looked at him,”It’s you isn't it.”

Adam sighed, “You saved my life, so shut up and let me buy you a new kidney. I owe you that much at least.”

“Fne, fine.”

There was a pause between them.

“I….. thank you, for saving my-”

“Dude don’t get all sappy and shit on me ok. You would have done it for me.” Adam went quiet still wishing to thank his friend but knowing Ramirez would never accept i.

Ramirez shifted to look at him, “So, you know why they tried to kill you?”

Adam shrugged, “Not really, the lady who did it has some political affiliations who don't tend to agree with me, but that connection doesn't seem to fit completely. Either that or she blames me for making her son an extrial in which case….. That hardly makes sense either.” he shrugged, “Either way she isn’t talking, and now I can’t go anywhere without five to six bodyguards spilling out my ass.”

Ramirez snorted, eyes closing, breathing deeply.

“You feeling ok.”

“Yeah…. I’m alright, just tired.”

“Then go back to sleep ya big idiot. Maybe if you’re a good boy santa will leave a kidney under your pillow.”

Ramirez let off a weak huff, “Didn’t know santa was a black market organ dealer.”

“He is this christmas, now shut up and go to sleep.” Ramirez didn’t argue with him beyond that point, and fell back asleep just as a nurse ws coming to check on him.

Adam was relieved. 

Ramirez was, hopefully, going to be ok.

Though what remained were far more questions than there were answers. 

[misterparadigm]

A Critique of Albert Camus’s “The Myth of Sisyphus”

The following is a brief critical breakdown of Albert Camus's highly influential essay. In it, I explore Camus's implicit meanings as I find them, and question the validity of his conclusions about the nature of suffering and man's capacity for contending with it by will alone.

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In philosophy, absurdity is defined as the conflict between the tendency to seek meaning in life and the inability to find such meaning with any logical certainty. The question of meaning has been at the heart of many philosophical explorations and treatises. The second half of the 20th century and beyond saw a spread in the acceptance of the notion of life’s meaninglessness, though no definitive and satisfactory cure for the ennui and nihilism that often follows has been laid out.

Perhaps most famous and cherished is Albert Camus’s essay exploring the Myth of Sisyphus and his ultimate declaration therein that, “One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” In this essay, Camus thinks over the myth in brief and lays out an interpretation of it which centers Sisyphus’s acknowledgment of his predicament, acceptance, and most importantly his personal resolve and will to view his burden as something which gives his life meaning. We must imagine Sisyphus finding contentment in his futile labor—an act of will which scorns the gods and denies their effort to break the spirit of Sisyphus with the assertion that a life of eternally futile labor is something torturous. Camus efforts—a bit belabored, in my opinion—to make a modern hero of the one who belittles the gods and their cruel, arrogant, resentful judgments. In Camus’s view, these gods have earned no respect in their dealings with mortals. For Camus, a humanist who would sooner dive headlong into oblivion than seek out a god whom he despises, it is a noble and purposeful pursuit to deny any such god the pleasure of punishing the creature which he created to despise him to begin with—a creature forced to live out a scenario of absurdity concocted by that very god. Camus refuses to respond with devastation, but resolves to make such existence its own purpose. He asks us to grasp our free will, own it, and wield it against any force which seeks to turn the man against himself.

But is this assessment and subsequent assertion valid? A number of factors are at play here which Camus seems not to acknowledge. First, we have to acknowledge context. Sisyphus is dealing with a particular set of gods, so his situation is unique to that scenario. Camus seems to imply that this situation can be applied to the modern man and his relationship to whichever god he believes in. This isn’t apparent, and if one is to assert that it is, one must first take as a given that life is absurd, or else the resentment toward the god who created it isn’t validated. On the other hand, if life is not absurd and is in fact meaningful and purposeful, one must contend with the notion that the god who created it is of some authority on the matter of how best to embody such meaning and purpose. To Camus’s credit, we are given no empirical evidence or common enough experience to adequately, categorically state the purposefulness of existence. What we are offered, rather, is a quiet firmament and a divine hand so subtle that one can barely propose to experience its activity—rarely with any convincing force, despite fervent conviction, and perhaps even considered malevolent rather than benevolent. The suffering of life, after all, makes it easy to resent our very being. Life is discomfort, pain, confusion, and death in greater measure than pleasure and joy. Pleasure and joy, even, seem starkly restricted as vices of desire in the eyes of “modern” gods, so much that to see the beauty of life is to do so in spite of life itself rather than to acknowledge that beauty’s apparentness as we would life’s suffering. Even so, the challenge of life may not then be to grasp one’s own will and deny God, but rather, as Hamlet mused, to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. To take accountability for one’s will and wield it, much as Camus suggests, as a weapon—not against God, but rather against the apparent evils of existence, of which we would know nothing were it not for eating from the proverbial Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

Often, we get caught up in the idea that God created the circumstances in which we exist, and created us to exist within those circumstances. By this musing along we may justify a resentment toward such a god and claim absurdity and cruelty. It’s quite easy to do so. However, we rarely seem to consider that, according to the myth, we were created in a more desirable scenario. Even so, we were created with free will and given direction on what to do and what not to do in order to avoid less desirable circumstances. Our free will standing, we acted in what would seem to be an inevitable manner. We were tempted to know what God knows about existence, and so we consumed the apple and opened our minds to the knowledge of good and evil. In doing so, we betrayed the trust of God and refused his advice, thus we became fully conscious and, consequently, fully accountable for our actions. With the knowledge of good and evil, a being with free will bears a responsibility to act according to the good rather than the evil. This early awakening left us naive—scarcely prepared to contend with the greater evils of the universe—and we’ve been mired in it ever since, rarely even able to see clearly what constitutes good and what constitutes evil. The complexity of such a task of judgment is said to be the court of God, and we are not to engage in such things, but we are yet left with no one but ourselves to hold each other accountable—and so how can we not judge? There is much that goes into this, but it’s a digression of the topic at hand, which is the validity of Camus’s assessment of the transferable lesson of Sisyphus’s fate.

The second factor is the presumption that Sisyphus could have the stamina to will joy out of his futile labor for eternity. It is difficult to imagine how his psychology might evolve over an endless span of time. Is it even reasonable to imagine that he might settle on a particular view of his predicament? How could it be that his view would last forever? It seems more likely that his mind might unravel after so long a labor at a single task, and that he would dissolve into his routine—that he would devolve into a machine. Such a task, it seems to me, is tailored to disintegrate the spirit of a man so that there is nothing left but the laboring organic robot, dead of his animus and dull of mind. His programming, which once explored myriad tasks and evolved in spirit accordingly, is now relegated to the track of a single interminable function, and so his mechanism devolves into only what is necessary for the eternal task. The animating spirit of a free consciousness is defined by that freedom. It is defined by the mind’s ability to explore and learn and adapt and grow. It fills the space in which it inhabits. If that space shrinks, the mind’s environment for operation shrinks. If that space takes a limited form, so does the mind. Sisyphus’s mind, I’d wager, would eventually mold to the well-worn form of his task and atrophy at all other ports of knowledge and behavior. The spirit dies without freedom. It dissolves into oblivion, a gaseous ghost seeping out in small whispers over time, until nothing remains but the solitary circuit. This is, after all, the argument so often levied against the dreadful monotony of a labor economy. One pictures the old cog-in-the-machine imagery—the grey man marching alongside his grey coworkers, seemingly oblivious to his living death. It seems to me that Camus puts an unreasonable and inexecutable responsibility on the creature of Sisyphus: to be the sole perpetuator of his own universe of knowledge, both known and unknown, so that he may propagate the only environment in which he might stave off his spiritual dissipation. This was the environment of free consciousness, which has been robbed of him. This is the plight of the prisoner; the longer a prisoner remains imprisoned, the less likely they are to thrive under freer circumstances. Their mind has adapted to a particular system, environment, and routine. And so it seems naive of Camus to imagine Sisyphus happy.

Camus focuses on the time in which Sisyphus is “going back down with a heavy yet measured step toward the torment of which he will never know the end.” This is the time in which Sisyphus is left truly alone with his thoughts, which can only ever turn to his task, that task being the only thing left of his life and the thing which will occupy his eternity. It is here that the measure of his character—his will and resolve—is on perfect display. “That hour like a breathing-space which returns as surely as his suffering, that is the hour of consciousness. At each of those moments when he leaves the heights and gradually sinks toward the lairs of the gods, he is superior to his fate.” Camus suggests that, “if this myth is tragic, that is because its hero is conscious. Where would his torture be, indeed, if at every step the hope of succeeding upheld him?” The tragedy is that Sisyphus has no opportunity for delusion. He cannot pretend that there is hope of breaking this cycle. He knows that this fate is eternal, and that for every moment to follow, across all space and time, he will only ever be among the moments confined to this task—isolated in his rut. His only hope, I would say, is that over time he might lose this consciousness. In a situation like this, eternal life is an intolerable cruelty, though Camus would claim he has the will to defy the cruelty by reframing it. This Camusian grace seems an illusion to me right on the face of it, and his solution boils down to ignoring the inexorable fact of the situation: there is nothing but the task, and no perfectly repeated task can be infinitely engaging or contenting to the actively conscious mind. The implied grace finds its source in acceptance of the fate, and through acceptance one can neutralize the misery—or so Camus suggests. But again, it does little to truly contend with the eternal element. Camus’s assertion that it is possible to willfully accept such a fate and maintain that flat acceptance for not just an inconceivably long time, but for the most inconceivable length of time, seems itself absurd. Perhaps it is even the very definition of absurd. Camus asks that an actively conscious being spend his infinite life mitigating his misery by perpetually accepting it as the mere fact and state of his existence. He is asking a man who has experienced and loved life (multiple times) so much that he incapacitated Death to simply step back and view his perfectly measured misery as a neutral state of being, and to do this forever, infinitely, perpetually. How absurd is such a demand? He is asking that Sisyphus seek contentment where there is no logical contentment to be sought.

If absurdity is seeking meaning where there appears to be none, then certainly seeking contentment where there appears to be none is itself absurd. The assertion, then, is that we can somehow manifest our own contentment through will, which is, in a way, no different than trying to manifest meaning through will. It’s the act of mitigating circumstances through the illusory impetus of pure will. One may be able to bear the illusion for a measured time, but over the course of an eternity the will gives way to circumstance because the circumstance, in the case, is the immutable factor. A free consciousness, however, is defined by its dynamic existence. But if that existence no longer inhabits a dynamic environment, whatever meaning or purpose it may have had is, as a matter of logic, eradicated by the static and immutable nature of the circumstance.

It is merely a matter of logic, which the free consciousness will have determined in short order, and so the emotions cycle in whatever manner they may until the consciousness is dulled by its monotonous task. Sisyphus’s fate, I assert, is the dissipation of his free consciousness over time, until this man who loved his living freedom so much has his mind reduced to a dim, singular function. His punishment is the indignity of the gradual decline in free will until there is no being left, and he is but a moving sculpture signifying the fate of one who refuses Death. His punishment is the denial of rebirth, for he has refused the necessary mechanism which gives rise to it.

[dweemeister]

Woman in the Moon (1929, Germany)

By the end of the 1920s, humanity could envision a world where spaceflight might be possible. Several decades before that, the science fiction books of Jules Verne, H.G. Wells, and others thrilled viewers with promise of adventure and the unknown. Also capturing that interest in space would be Georges Méliès’ film, A Trip to the Moon (1902, France) – even if you have never heard of this film, you may be familiar with its most iconic frame. A Trip to the Moon is one of the first science fiction films ever made and, for the 1900s decade, among the most innovative of its time. Though other filmmakers around the world dabbled in science fiction, the genre never truly took off until mid-century.

One of the few filmmakers bringing a sense of spectacle to sci-fi silent films was German director Fritz Lang, best known today for Metropolis (1927) and M (1931). Because of its release in between Metropolis and M, Woman in the Moon tends to be underseen and undermentioned. But, like Metropolis and A Trip to the Moon, it is a silent film exemplar of science fiction. It is a remarkable piece of entertainment in its second half, even as it wastes too much of its runtime on a tiresome subplots that involve gangsters and romance. When Lang brings his showmanship during the crew’s trip to the Moon, the results are unlike any other filmmaker working in cinema at that time.

Businessman Helius (Willy Fritsch) meets with his friend, Professor Mannfeldt (Klaus Pohl), to discuss developments over Helius’ plans to journey to the Moon. The mission was inspired by the Professor’s hypothesis that the Moon, “is rich in gold” – something that has attracted the mockery of his fellow academics. In the shadows, an unidentified gang sends a man calling himself “Walter Turner” (Fritz Rasp) to spy on Mannfeldt and Helius. More trouble comes to Helius when he learns his assistants Windegger (Gustav von Wangenheim) and Friede (Gerda Maurus) announce their engagement. Helius, who has never confessed his love for Friede, finds himself in an awkward romantic bind in the events leading up to launch. On launch day, Helius, his assistants, and Professor Manfeldt board the Friede. But their crew complement includes two others: Walter Turner (who threatens his way onboard) and a stowaway child, Gustav (Gustl Gstettenbaur).

Thea von Harbou, Lang’s wife from 1922-1933, wrote the screenplay, adapting her book The Rocket to the Moon. Just a quick glance through her filmography recalls a number of great Lang-von Harbou collaborations: Dr. Mabuse the Gambler (1922), the Die Nibelungen saga (1924), and Metropolis. She truly is one of the great screenwriters of early cinema, but Woman in the Moon is an underwhelming display of her talents. Von Harbou mires with its Earth-bound scenes, and Woman in the Moon reaps no benefits from its spy subplot. There is a straight science-fiction story buried somewhere in this overlong 169-minute film, but von Harbou overstuffs her screenplay with the potential sabotage of the rocket to the Moon. Never does the viewer feel that Lang’s astronauts are in danger of being blasted to smithereens in outer space or that “Walter Turner” will ever succeed in whatever murderous plots he has hatched. Isolated from whatever themes Woman in the Moon wishes to present, the love triangle that slowly overtakes the rest of the film always feels vestigial to this overcooked story. Compare this overwrought, yet underwritten romantic drama to Metropolis, where the relationship between Gustav Fröhlich’s Freder and Brigitte Helm’s Maria outlines perfectly the tension of their society’s industrial hierarchies and the geography that separates the classes.

Woman in the Moon truly defies gravity only after its launch and touchdown on the lunar surface. The cinematography team led by Curt Courant (1934’s The Man Who Knew Too Much, 1938’s La Bête Humaine) capture the terror of early spaceflight better than some of the more expensive American sci-fi productions would in the 1950s and ‘60s. The speculative lunar sets – which look more like Méliès’ vision for A Trip to the Moon than anything recognizable from the Moon – tower over the movie’s intrepid astronauts as they explore this lifeless (unlike Méliès’ vision) celestial body.

The screenplay, camerawork, production design, and special effects seen in The Woman in the Moon come from the most widely accepted scientific theories of the late 1920s concerning astrophysics and the nature of the Moon. Where some aspects might feel dated (that includes the appearance and breathable atmosphere of the lunar surface and the submersion of the rocket into water before launch), others are prescient. The explanation of how the rocket’s flightpath is so prophetic that it seems as if Thea von Harbou and Fritz Lang sat in on an Apollo mission briefing by NASA. Woman in the Moon also contains the first countdown to launch seen in a sci-fi film (yes, the launch countdown is an invention of Woman in the Moon), as well as a multistage rocket that jettisons parts of the rocket as it exits Earth’s atmosphere. Prior to launch, the rocket’s assembly in a separate structure before transportation out to the launchpad – where it will blast off to space. For a film released in an era that did not make much use of seat belts and Velcro, the utter violence and human disorientation of a rocket launch requires the astronauts to strap themselves into their bunks and hold onto surface restraints.

The frantic editing and startling cinematography of these scenes, coupled with the film’s undercurrent of distrust and ulterior motives, are a Lang staple during the most technically accomplished scenes of his filmography. It is there in the worker montages of Metropolis, the elaborate assassination scene of Dr. Mabuse the Gambler, and the horrific battle sequence of Die Nibelungen: Kriemhild’s Revenge. Those Lang hallmarks find their way late in Woman in the Moon, well past the point where they might have been effective in alleviating the film of its structural issues. Though Woman in the Moon might not be as influential as any of those aforementioned movies, Lang’s propulsive sense of action is apparent in the film’s second half. Like a silent era John Frankenheimer, Lang is in full control of the film’s tension – knowing when and when not to apply these techniques to heighten the viewer’s adrenaline.

Not nearly as a widely-discussed for Woman in the Moon is its final moments. The film’s concluding dilemma is startling. It precipitates into a situational solution that does not grant a narrative resolution. Are Lang and von Harbou attempting to comment on the lengths of selfishness, of the tension intrinsic between science and human avarice that can endanger others? Or is it more cynical of scientific discovery and technological progression than it might appear? Woman in the Moon wastes too much time on its romantic triangle before even approaching questions as nuanced as these.

However one interprets this, Woman in the Moon – more popular with general audiences than film critics and those noting that Universum Film AG (UFA) executive Alfred Hugenberg was beginning to align himself with the Nazi Party – arrived in German theaters at a time of political upheaval. Among the politically inclined, Woman in the Moon proved divisive: leftists derided its alleged Nazi subtext and the Nazis approved of this depiction of a technologically advanced, forward-thinking Germany. Shortly following Hitler’s ascendancy to German Chancellor in 1933, the Nazis banned A Woman in the Moon and seized the film’s rocket models due to how accurate its depiction of rocketry was. At this time, the Nazis, with a team led by Wernher von Braun, were deep into researching the V-2 rocket – the world’s first long-range guided ballistic missile.

Detractors of Woman in the Moon dismissed Lang and the film as curios of Germany’s cinematic past. With synchronized sound films all the rage since 1927, Woman in the Moon proved to be Lang’s final silent film. Today, the movie is Lang’s final epic, before he transitioned into a career leaning heavily on film noir. The scenes of greatest interest to silent film and sci-fi fans arrives deep in the film, after too many stultifying conversations and lovelorn looks from the main characters. In its greatest spurts, Woman in the Moon’s scientific speculation heralds a future beset by self-interest, yet heaven-bound.

My rating: 7/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog (as of July 1, 2020, tumblr is not permitting certain posts with links to appear on tag pages, so I cannot provide the URL).

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.

[kherohi]

Newcomer’s impression of Nijisanji (October 2020)

When I first started watching Nijisanji clips at the start of October 2020, it only took me a few days to realize that there was no coming back - barring a life-changing event, there was no way I would stop watching them in the next few years.

I decided to go through the Nijisanji official website with my one-week’s worth of clip-watching and record my thoughts on each liver so that I would have something to look back on. My knowledge back then was completely based off the clips I watched, so it’s interesting to see how absolutely skewed some of my impressions were.

I also added some of my current thoughts now that I’m one year in. Maybe next year I’ll look back and wonder how the heck I ever thought some of these things.

Disclaimer: I’m not thinking too hard when I write this stuff. It’s opinion, not fact.

Below are the livers that I could recognize and name on the official website. I’ve kept the name as I remember them, so some of them might be nicknames depending on how I knew them.

(The entries were written progressively from one week to one month of starting to watch Nijisanji.)

Tsukino Mito: She’s the Iinchou! She seems to have been around for a long time. She’s very popular. Since she’s been around for a while, she has inspired other people to join Nijisanji. One of these is Kenmochi Touya, who she self-proclaimed as her son. I don’t know much about her content, but she has a nice voice and it seems that she can sing as well.

I didn’t yet know just how influential she was, but I knew enough to include it in the description. Although I don’t really watch her, I do occasionally check out clips and it’s interesting to see what she comes up with.

Himawari: She’s cute and stupid! In the Dokuzuhonsha family she’s the older sister. She’s very positive. Though I’ve seen her often in collabs, I haven’t seen many clips of her own content. I can’t add much except for her airheaded-ness. She has great sibling interactions with Kuzuha.

This description was clearly based on watching Dokuzuhonsha clips, haha. But I still agree about her positivity! Now I think of her as hard-working and very kind!

Sasaki Saku: She is well-known for her panda outfit, but she has different outfits now. She can be quite ruthless... though that’s a common trait among Nijisanji livers. Although I can’t think of anything in particular to say about her, I do like her and if there’s an interesting looking video with her, I’d like to click it.

Why did I have an image that Nijisanji is ruthless? For that matter, I wonder what clip gave me the impression that Sasaki is ruthless. Well, she can be blunt and a bit of a brat.

Kuzuha: This famous guy. He’s a vampire - he’s lived for a long time. He’s socially awkward and makes sudden non-sequitors in his solo streams. He forms a unit called ChroNoiR with Kanae. He sings by himself and with ChroNoiR. In the Dokuzuhonsha family he’s the younger brother. After collabing with Ritsuki and the awkward conversations that ensued, the weather deck was created. His video thumbnails mostly look the same (red). His streams primarily have to do with gaming. He’s fun to watch and he’s good at games.

I pretty much agree with this one. I watched a lot of Kuzuha clips in my first week, so the impression was pretty accurate. Congrats on 1M subscribers! He’s going far!

Kanae: He’s a person that bullies people in a comedic way. Lots of people like him, but they are understandably wary of him because he has a tendency to use his friends as bait. He has a psychopath side that he plays up to scare others. He’s very calm most of the time, but can get heated in FPS. His character is someone with amnesia. He’s never uncomfortable - he can take things as they come. He’s friends with Kuzuha. He’s also very good at games. He can lie with a straight face. I really like his videos. I’d like to watch more. His cat plush is Roto.

There were definitely a lot of clips of Kanae playing pranks on people. It ended up being half of this description lol. I can’t say it’s wrong, but there’s certainly more to Kanae than pranks. Now he gives me a feeling of motivation for self-improvement.

Lize: I’ve seen her in a few collabs. I like her design. I haven’t seen her enough to form a proper opinion and haven’t started diving into her content at all. She’s cute though and I would be interested in seeing what she does.

I still haven’t watched her too much even after all this time, but now I have the impression that she has interesting talks. Also, she likes Mito.

Ange: I’ve seen her a few times. Not a huge impression, but she seems fun and plays off well with others possibly? I would be interested in watching more of her.

“plays off well with others” - she’s a bit awkward, but that makes it more fun to watch. Her interaction with male members is funny to watch.

Shiishii: She’s cute! a cute voice too! I don’t think I’d watch her solo, but I think she would be good in collabs. I don’t know much about her.

Kinda rude to say I wouldn’t watch her solo? Though true enough, I have just been watching her in collabs. Too many livers in Nijisanji. >_<

Utako: I saw Mayu look through her profile, so I know about her love of BL, shota, and all degeneracy like that. Any video with her about those topics are bound to be fun. That’s what I like about Nijisanji! Shotacon allies with Akina.

I’ve only come to learn more about her degeneracy, and it’s consistent with my expectations. I only hear about them on the side though - haven’t gotten to the point of actually watching the streams.

Ryushen: Gender: unknown. Ryushen is cool, though I haven’t seen too much of them. I haven’t thought of watching any solo content for Ryushen. Probably would only watch if it was a collab with someone else I know.

I recognized Ryushen enough to think they were cool, but I didn’t mention singing at all!? How did I manage that?? Now Ryushen = good at singing and interesting content to me.

Ars: She is very very shy. She’s also cute though. She has a very cute voice. She seems to have a master-disciple relationship with Ex Albio based on Minecraft. Their interactions are very entertaining. Would like to see more of it.

There’s been some amount of Ebimaru content, past me would be happy - present me is happy. I watch her Minecraft streams occasionally. She’s really good at building stuff.

Yashiro: IT employee! A totally normal human. His streams seem pretty mellow... well, the only one I say was a fetish-adding dice game... But it was very fun! In the Dokuzuhonsha family, he’s the dad. He’s pretty conscientious and responsible. He also got drunk and fell asleep on stream. I like watching him, especially when he has fun with the other adults (Kagami, Chaika, Yumeoi)

I agree with this description. That fetish-adding dice game stream sure was fun. I’d nearly forgotten about it. I feel the need to mention rhythm games though.

Chihiro: She is very good at APEX. She was in a tournament with Kanae and Kuzuha as teammates and they got pretty far. She can be serious which shows how much she cares. She has a cute voice. I would click a video with if it looked interesting.

Chihiro = APEX. It only takes a week to figure that out huh.

Hoshikawa Sara: I know her from Minecraft collabs with Kanae. They’re like siblings. She’s always laughing. Her voice can be kind of annoying, but that’s the sort of annoying little sister vibe she gives me. She likes teasing people by calling them papa (Kanae and Yumeoi). When I watch her I know the tension will be high.

I still agree with this. The papa teasing is reserved for Yumeoi though. She has a lot of covers out though!

Kagami Hayato: CEO of Kagami Industrials/whatever company. Fans love giving him money. He gets easily flustered. He always speaks politely. He gets teased a lot and I like watching him as he gets teased and tries to stop it. He’s very pure. That all said, he does have a violent side (as expected of Nijisanji). In Ark, he wanted to start a war and really went all in for that. When he played Forest with Yumeoi, he got used to killing stuff. He also likes metal and has a great scream. I like how he is with the people he debuted with. He’s like a papa. He also sings and has model building streams. He’s not good at playing FPS. He feels a bit of rivalry with Chaika, but admires him. Also, Minecraft underground.

This description was just a dump of all the clips I watched about him wasn’t it? Haha, the first half is a good description still. I still like his voice and gap.

Debi Debi Debiru: A god? A devil? In any case, Debidebi Debiru is basically a religion? a cult? They are pretty small. They have a very unique voice. Beyond that, I don’t really know too much about them. They seem to have been around for a long time. A senpai to others.

What was I thinking when I wrote this? Well, now Debi is just a koala to me. A really impressive 3D though.

Belmond Banderas: This guy is a man among men. Awesome deep voice. He’s got a very cool vibe - I think lots of people must think he’s cool. I don’t know too much else. I’ve seen a few videos with him in them. His voice is so deep! He once had a collab with Sasaki Saku in Minecraft?

He’s not only cool, but nice too! But the strongest impression is still his voice.

Gundou Mirei: I know her mostly due to her ship with Kanda - GunKan. She’s a teacher in the virtual world and real world. She was once found out by her students since she uses the same voice. She likes money. She’s a tsundere type. GunKan is a popular ship. Hoshikawa ships them and at least once pretended to be their child.

lol I don’t remember why I wrote that she likes money.

Mayuzumi Kai: His character is a hacker. His greeting is Domo. When he first joined Nijisanji he did streams where he read through the Nijisanji members’ profiles to get to know them. He was tied with Debidebi as best communication skills by Nijisanji staff. He’s got a really calm demeanor. Low energy. His English pronunciation is very good. He’s the type to play tricks on his colleagues, it seems (summer festival with the puff fish). He is a group called BLUE with Ars and someone else... Lize? I like what I’ve seen of him so far. He wants to be more popular with female viewers.

It started off well. Then Blues... It’s Uiha! Uiha is the third member! I clearly just picked a character with a somewhat blue colour. I also didn’t seem to be aware of the whole 2434 system thing yet. Now I see him as someone interesting and responsible. I sometimes listen to his zatsudan before sleeping since he has such a calm voice.

Hanabatake Chaika: He wears a maid outfit. He’s very eccentric. He references Jojo a lot. He’s on good terms with Kagami. He seems to be pretty successful. He even has his own card. His streams seem fun, especially his 3D streams. There seems to be a fluffy pink thing that he interacts with in 3D streams.

The mention of his 3D streams is good! Agreed!

Dola: A fire drake. In the Dokuzuhonsha family, she’s the mother. She’s good at singing and dancing. She’s weak to horror, but not as much as Kuzuha. Her famous quote is “o cha wo nomimasu”. She has a nice dynamic with Yashiro.

Another description that was written mostly based on Dokuzuhonsha clips, I believe. And the o cha wo nomimasu clip.

Joker: I only know him from the twister game. He seems to talk about dicks a lot?

I fell for the Joker reading. It’s Joe Rikiichi! Also, this is what happens when you try to describe someone with only one clip. Now he’s someone too cultured for me to understand. And he has a really good singing voice.

Ex Albio: The hero! He’s apparently quite lucky. He gives off the vibe of a main character who starts out clueless but gradually gets stronger. His Minecraft arc with his master Ars is very entertaining. His content seems to be very fun. I would like to watch more videos about him... In particular, I’m curious about his Minecraft house.

This is very based on Minecraft videos. But somehow I also knew about his luck. Recently, I have been enjoying his kusoge streams, so I definitely agree that his content is very fun. He somehow makes stupid games look so fun (I absolutely won’t play them myself though).

Kenmochi Toya: The lolicon master! Though it appears he’s also okay with shotas. He’s often shipped with Gaku as Togabito. He loves lolis. He does some skits with himself (Touko, Marshmallows). He’s an entertaining guy to watch. He made a bet with an artist vtuber and got her to make a loli stream. He’s good at tetris.

So much loli in this description lol. The shota mention is from Aki. That last comment about tetris is absolutely just from the clip with Shigure Ui. I’ve been watching more Kenmochi lately - he is very entertaining to watch. He keeps my attention easily when I watch him.

Alice: She seems to have been around for a while. All I know about her is that she’s learning how to play the acoustic guitar, so Kuzuha declared her as a guitar rival.

Now I know her as the liver that’s more popular on Bilibili than Youtube.

Saegusa Akina: His dream is to go to Budokan. He’s a huge Kanae fan and hangs out with him off stream often. He’s a shotacon. He sings well. He’s paired with Aizono to make Benizuwaigani. Their first meeting was very teetee and they ate cake and exchanged gifts on Christmas eve. Very teetee. He apparently calls Shellin master in Minecraft. I’m curious about that.

I pretty much agree with this, but there should be more emphasis on how good he is at singing!

Yumeoi Kakeru: He’s ranked 1st among Nijisanji staff for best communication. He’s very well-spoken. In Forest streams with Kagami, he shows off his psychopath side by happily killing all manner of living beings. He enjoys teasing too. He also sings. I don’t know much else, but I enjoy watching him.

Again, why is the singing an afterthought? His identity is singer songwriter after all. I also need to mention his machine gun speech though.

Kazaki Morinaka: She’s a loli but can also transform into an adult form. That’s the extent of my knowledge.

This is true. I mostly know her personality from Morigusa collabs and I also like her singing now too!

Ibrahim: The oil prince. He’s a merchant type. He likes money. His place is Minecraft has elaborate architecture. He sometimes plays with Kanae and Kuzuha which is where I first saw him. He joined the Alpha Slayers in ARK after some water disputes. He’s a pretty interesting guy overall. He’s got text-to-speech for his superchats.

I really like Ibrahim now! He’s seriously a really nice person. He’s also somehow able to be really cute! I like how his streams are straightforward and interesting. I like how he interacts with his viewers too. He gives a close sort of feeling.

Melissa: I saw a video with her playing FPS with Kanae maybe? But I don’t remember much about her.

Whoa! How is there not a single mention of singing?? Also that was probably the clip with Kuzuha I was thinking of. But no singing???? Now, it’s pretty much all that I know her for. Her singing voice is actually amazing!

Fuwa: His character is a host. He can sing well. I’ve listened to his Call Boy? a bunch. I actually haven’t watched many of his videos, but would like to look into him more eventually.

I’ve gotten hooked on Fuwa! So I’ve definitely looked into him more! I still really like Call Boy. I absolutely loved his 3D though! I watched it so many times! And I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve listened to the 3D live song clips that he uploaded separately. His personality is so good! His expressiveness and energy! I also really like how hard he tries and how he always tries to do his best to make his viewers happy. He streams so much that I can’t keep up with him too well though. x_X

Ririmu: She has a very unique voice. Her character is a demon or devil maybe. Something supernatural. She has a pairing with Uzuki Kou. I don’t watch her though, so I don’t know much else. She has a unique voice.

She’s a succubus! I’ve watched a couple of streams with her. Not enough to get a good grasp of her character, but Pacific Ririmu was hilarious! I got to see a lot of different interactions there, but considering the rules of the stream, it isn’t exactly reflective of her true interactions with others.

Ritsuki: She’s a very elaborate builder in Minecraft though she started as a beginner. Her character is an alien, so she experimented on stuff. She likes to create things that will be used by everyone like the summer festival location. She’s a good girl. A bit shy. It was during her collab with Kuzuha that he first used the weather deck. I’d like to see more of her Minecraft creations.

I haven’t seen much of her Minecraft still!! Her museum is really impressive though.

Shellin: His character is a detective. He looks cool. He seems good with people. For some reason he was a protected person in ARK and he got kidnapped by the Alpha Slayers. Shellin can be really loud which contrasts with his soft voice. He talks to himself even when alone. He’s funny to watch, but I can’t find many videos with him.

Right now, I’m looking forward to whatever he’s planning for the 3D debut. The most I’ve seen him is from the Iiheya netto radio. Or does narration for Lever Gacha count? I like his interactions with Kaida! In general I like how excited he gets.

Mashiro: I don’t know much of him other than the fact he’s male but looks as cute as a girl. And he did some kind of RTA for some action game?

He’s cute for sure. And he’s also always doing something horror-related.

Kanda: He’s very cool. He’s hardworking and honest. Though he might be best known for GunKan, my first encounter with him was a subbed clip of him talking with Mayuzumi about how he wanted to be more popular with female audiences and his interest in voicing BL. I admire his drive to improve himself. He also has a background with being bullied, dropping out of school, experiencing a terrible work environment, until he finally went back to school and enjoyed it everyday. Going back to GunKan, their interactions are very fun and there’s always so much energy in their interactions. It’s fun to see his eyes. Also, he’s friends with Mayuzumi.

Kanda is really cool. His control over how he presents himself is really impressive and almost scary. I can’t forget how in his presentation about how to speak clearly he said that you should always know what you want to say before you speak.

Uzuki Kou: I haven’t watched many videos of him. He’s a bit strange. He’s got a pairing with Ririmu. Together they are apparently pretty twisted. Beyond that, I don’t know too much about him.

I still don’t know too much about him, but he’s apparently good at speaking. Also nabe rap.

Shiba: The dog. That’s all I know.

The cute dog. Also has IRL stuff going on.

Aizono Manami: The other half of Benizuwaigani! She’s a maid. She’s really nice. She can put up well with others. She gives a big sister kind of feeling. I actually don’t know that much about her individually since most of what I see of her is in context with Akina.

I’ve seen her a bit since, but I can’t think of much else to add.

Fumi: I know her name and face. I feel like I should respect her for some reason, but I don’t remember. She is part of Sanbaka alongside Hoshikawa and someone else. She gets along well with Kanda. I don’t know much about her.

That last sentence there really couldn’t be more right! Sanbaka??? Neither of them have anything to do with that! I clearly somehow got it mixed up with Orihimeboshi somehow. What a mysterious entry... Now I know a bit about her from Fukeizai.

Nagao Kei: He’s loud and chaotic, but he’s also surprisingly smart. His loud voice is also good at singing. Actually, his streams are apparently very loud too. His voice is a bit nasally and it also sounds like Ibrahim’s voice. He’s very childish when he’s with VALZ, but with his senpai he’s more serious. He memorized the Keep talking and don’t explode manual. I want to watch that one. I also want to listen to his covers. I’d like to know more and more about Nagao Kei!

Nagao = sontaku. I have listened to his covers since and I’m interested in how far he’s going to take his lore. He comes up with a lot of unique stream ideas.

Gwelu Os Gar: A married man! He’s got a statue in Minecraft and Ark. He’s a fun guy in the collabs I’ve seen, but I don’t know much about him.

He’s somehow always involved in some interesting plan. Right now, I’m rooting for his 10-year-old PC. Endurance stream to 1M let’s go!

Suzuki Masaru: He’s a shota. He was once in a collab with Utako and Akina... that was interesting. He once came across Kanae’s slave ranch in Minecraft. Kanae was scary. Recently, I found out that Masaru has something to do with Kai Mayuzumi’s lore.

The shota that’s good at ASMR... that sort of introduction from the gasbag race is now imprinted in my mind. On the side, I also think of him as a member of Raindrops. I don’t think I’ve actually watched any of his streams (ASMR aside...).

Kasumi: She’s graduating. She’s involved with Mayuzumi’s lore.

She graduated right as I got started watching Nijisanji. I think I did see her very last stream back then.

Kaida Haru: He’s finally here! I’ve been very slowly adding to this, so it’s already be 1 month - almost - that I’ve been watching vtubers. Just about three weeks now. Kaida Haru is the one I decided to support. He has a good face and voice.

What about Kaida do I like? First of all I need to talk about his face and voice. He’s also good at guitar and singing and his taste in music is pretty similar to mine, so I know a lot of the songs he sings. His voice can be very loud and he plays with his voice a lot to make sounds. He’s bullied by a lot of people, but that’s just their way of getting along with each other. It shows how loved he is. He’s overall a really nice guy and he’s quite considerate. He can be serious too. Also, he apparently gets flamed easily.

One thing that makes me realize the passage of one year is the position of Kaida in this list. This list was ordered by the number of subscribers. Last year this time he didn’t even have 100k and now he’s got over 300k! It’s nice to continue supporting him for the past year, and I’m a happy fan. He does a lot.

Fushimi Gaku: He is friends with Kenmochi Touya and together they make Togabito. Some people ship them but they don’t especially like that. I don’t know too much about Gaku though.

Peace! I checked out OhaGaku once or twice and his Togabito stuff a bit. He feels like a nice senpai. Although I don’t really watch him, whenever I come across him (like in totsumachi) he always seems like a cool guy.

Aki Suzuya: I don’t know her

*him. Apart from Kenmochi’s obsession with him, I still don’t know him. I really, really like his cover of flos with Kenmochi though.

Kitakouji Hisui: She’s extroverted - very able to talk. I don’t know much of her. My image of her is from dogeza for breaking the lantern tree of Kaida.

She has a really cool adult form/outfit!! She also sings well. I think she’s interesting but I admit I haven’t seen much from her in the past several months.

Genzuki: This genius! He can sing, compose music, mix music, edit video, play games. He’s so powerful! Multiple instruments! Genius! He’s good at talking! Entertaining. I’m curious about the lore too. He also has a scary story about his memory. But I really like him. He’s got a very vocaloid-based library of music so very nostalgic! <3

I still admire his music so much! I’ve listened to all of his piano streams and they are very inspiring. His music stream lengths can go for a scary long time. Just listening to him talk is interesting especially when he talks about music.

Natsume: She seems nice. A good person. I know her most for the lantern tree story. She’s very cute. She just got a new outfit today.

I haven’t learned much else about her.

Kyoko Todoroki: I saw her in the singing relay. She seems nice, though I don’t know much about her.

Thanks to NijiFes, now I know she has a really good sense of fashion. And she can draw well. I haven’t seen much else of her though.

Gilzaren: I don’t know much about him, but his voice doesn’t match his model. He can also sing. I’ve listened to his songs.

I’ve managed to watch him live! It feels like an accomplishment. I’ve also spotted him in comment sections. It’s like seeing a unicorn.

Harusaki Air: The prince. He doesn’t stream much, probably because of his RL job.

I like watching him for casual streams. Since I know he has a day job, there’s a bit of a feeling of “casually playing games after work” that I like to imagine.

Naruse Naru: He does the voice drama club.

And he’s super good at Mario Kart! He’s also really cute and has a good voice. He’s been getting more popular! I still need to listen to some of the voice drama club - I’ve only listened to a couple.

Of course, there were a bunch of livers that I couldn’t name. Some are understandable, and others I wonder how I could have missed them.

Era Otogibara

Lulu Suzuhara

Kaede Higuchi

Roa

Toko Inui

Rin Shizuka

Mikoto Rindou

Rion Takamiya

Sister Claire

Kana Sukoya

Keisuke Maimoto

Rena Yorumi

Nui Sorciere

Meiji Warabeda

Machita Chima

Tamaki Fumino

Kokoro Amamiya

Furen E. Lustario

Petit Ratna

Fuyuki Hakase

Eru

Uiha Aiba

Tomoe Shirayuki

Levi Elipha

Ema August

Riri Yuuhi

Ichigo

Mugi Ienaga

Marin Hayama

Sou Hayase

Sayo Amemori

Eli Conifer

Youko Akabane

Mao Matsukai

Luis Camie

Moira

Naraka

Mahiro Yukishiro

Haruka Onomachi

Hoshizora Kirame

Yamagami Karuta

Miyako Seto

Hina

Momo Azuchi

Sango Suo

Rine Yaguruma

Kohaku

Akane Asahina

Tsumugu Kataribe

So here are my current day thoughts (very quickly written):

Era Otogibara: Graduated.

Lulu Suzuhara: Graduated.

Kaede Higuchi: Deron. She’s very rough. I mostly know her singing and the part that leaves an impression is the screaming. Also she did an anime OP.

Roa: I have only ever seen her through clips... Will she return?

Toko Inui: Super nice voice! She can sing live incredibly well!

Rin Shizuka: I get the impression she streams alone often? She does stream on twitch.

Mikoto Rindou: She is good at singing, she has a good voice (narration and speaking), she is athletic enough to dance and do a cartwheel, and she is cute. Even though I think all of this, I still haven’t really watched her, haha...

Rion Takamiya: Ojou. She’s pretty fun with Debi. I also like when she played around with Fuwa’s radio.

Sister Claire: Dogma is good. She has a very angelic voice. Our seiso representative in Nijisanji.

Kana Sukoya: Crazy smart. And how is she able to do everything she does??? Just doing nursing alone should be crazy, but to stream and sing and voice act too?? It’s only understandable that she decided to take a break to focus on her studies even though with the rate she releases content it doesn’t really feel like a break.

Keisuke Maimoto: He has some pretty intense stories (from watching clips). It feels like he’s someone with a lot of life experience.

Rena Yorumi: Magician! I like her! She’s got fun interactions in Minecraft and ARK. SMC is cute too.

Nui Sorciere: I don’t really watch her, but she plays RPGs a lot is the impression I have. Sorry, but I can’t help but think of “haitenakunaidesuka??”.

Meiji Warabeda: I know her best as a member of Raindrops. I don’t know much of her other activities as a liver.

Machita Chima: Freesia! No, but she has a really wonderful voice and a very cute design. I’ll tune into her utawaku occasionally.

Tamaki Fumino: Noraneko. At first, I would question the veracity of claims of her happenings, but now I’ve come to accept them.

Kokoro Amamiya: Dragon Girl. She’s cute and I like how she interacts with Kaida in contrast to that cuteness, haha.

Furen E. Lustario: Her design is very cool. She is really excitable which is fun to watch.

Petit Ratna: She does ASMR... I don’t watch her much, but my earliest impression is probably from when she invited Kuzuha in ARK.

Fuyuki Hakase: She can sing well. I really like her Gunjou. I don’t watch her actively, but I have had her minecraft streams play in the background before.

Eru: I am not going to even try her full name. I know her as a member of Raindrops. I’m sure there’s more to her, but I really haven’t watched much of her... I feel like I remember something APEX though... (You can say that about almost any Nijisanji liver though).

Uiha Aiba: Will she come back to streaming? What happened with the lore?? But her 3D debut was amazing and her constant singing and dancing covers are very impressive. They come out at such a pace that I haven’t been able to keep up so there are a bunch I haven’t seen.

Tomoe Shirayuki: She’s beautiful. All her MVs have really good art. Partly due to her 3D debut, I can’t help but think of her as an S...

Levi Elipha: She has a really powerful voice! And yet the gap with her normal speaking voice is so cute! The way she acts is also cute.

Ema August: She drinks a lot... for some reason that’s what I think of her. She has an adult form too.

Riri Yuuhi: She’s really cool. If you asked me for who the cool girl of 2434 is, it’s Riri.

Ichigo: I don’t know much about her. She doesn’t seem to be too active?

Mugi Ienaga: I don’t know much about her either. I’ve listened to some of her songs, but her part in Unknown Mother Goose is the one that I really remember.

Marin Hayama: Her mouth is always open in my mind. I wonder why? But I don’t know much about her. In the song werewolf I remember she had pretty dark lyrics.

Sou Hayase: She’s got a really cool singing voice! Apart from her singing, I probably see her the most in B-grade Variety.

Sayo Amemori: Another one who doesn’t stream much. I caught one of her streams live and I didn’t know what she was talking about. The quality of the video was really low though. Apparently that’s normal for her though, so I feel like I got the authentic experience.

Eli Conifer: She can play the flute. She went all out in the Koshien Siren tournament. She seems to do the thing where she duplicates herself to sing very well. Her voice is very cute.

Youko Akabane: I know her most for KanaeYou, but she seems like a nice person. Apart from those interactions, I see her sometimes in ARK clips.

Mao Matsukai: Very energetic! Her 3D debut showed off a lot of different appeal points. Her chat seems to like to bully her.

Luis Camie: A phantom thief?? She plays off well with Shellin. It’s fun to see their interactions, though I’ve only seen a couple. She has a bit of an airheaded kind of entertaining appeal.

Moira: The goddess. I don’t know much about her. She does seem nice and able to talk well. It looks like she gets along with her generation.

Naraka: Apparently her voice sounds like Maaya Sakamoto? I remember her singing is nice. She took part in VSaikyou I believe, but I don’t really watch her.

Mahiro Yukishiro: I recall she isn’t that popular, but I have heard some of her singing. I feel like I don’t see her stream that often?

Haruka Onomachi: She tries hard to appeal to English speakers. She also does ASMR. I don’t really watch her, but her on screen translator is interesting.

Hoshizora Kirame: I believe she’s good at drawing. I still don’t know much about her though.

Yamagami Karuta: A tengu! She has the image of being very pure though. I also don’t really watch her so I can’t say too much.

Miyako Seto: Photography club. She’s a fan of Kuzuha... but I don’t really watch her so I can’t say much.

Hina: She writes scripts. I don’t think she streams much at all anymore.

Momo Azuchi: She had a redesign at one point. I haven’t watched her.

Sango Suo: Absolutely amazing acting ability. I’ve seen a few examples where she acts with others and it’s very impressive. I haven’t seen her solo streams though.

Rine Yaguruma: I don’t know much about her.

Kohaku: Mela! is a banger. Unfortunately I don’t know much about her aside from that.

Akane Asahina: She’s been releasing a lot of high quality covers in high frequency and she makes a lot of effort to reach out to western fans. I’m not watching her, but I’m rooting for her success.

Tsumugu Kataribe: Library ghost. Will she ever stream again? (Have never seen her before).

[chaoswillfallrpg]

VICTOR YAXLEY is TWENTY-FOUR YEARS OLD and a SOCIALITE amongst THE SACRED TWENTY-EIGHT in LONDON. He looks remarkably like NAT WOLFF and considers himself NEUTRAL. He is currently TAKEN.

→ OVERVIEW:

The youngest of the infamous Yaxley twins, Victor Yaxley could be described as an outlandish character for those who had not met his sister ELEANOR. Born into a very wealthy family a few moments after his older sister, Victor followed Eleanor into the world and would spend his life doing the exact same thing thereafter. The only son of ELIJAH YAXLEY and ISMENA FLINT, Victor would have had an easy life if he had been an only child. The Yaxley family were fabulously wealthy, with influential ties to the Ministry through his uncle CORBAN. It was tradition that the eldest son, would take over the helm of the Yaxley family after the passing of Victor’s grandfather, but Victor’s father had always been more concerned with the stage than with balls and advantageous unions, prompting his grandmother ZARIAH YAXLEY to pressure his father into settling down and eventually marrying his mother. A larger than life man, Elijah had worked in the theatre since graduating Hogwarts, which Victor’s grandmother had always despised. A traditional woman, Zariah fiddled in the lives of her sons as she would later come to fiddle in the lives of her grandchildren. Before his marriage, Elijah had lived a life of chaos, chasing chorus girls and putting on lavish productions at the playhouse which made their family cringe. Victor had always gotten the impression from his father that marrying into the Flint family had broken his creative spirit in some way. 

After Victor and Eleanor were born, Elijah had tried to maintain his life at the theatre and Victor’s very early years were littered with memories of sitting in the front row watching his father leap around on stage pledging his undying love for actresses who wore glittering costumes Elijah had helped design. The theatre was Elijah’s passion and Victor’s mother, Ismena’s passion had been his father Elijah. Despite being raised to always think of how you were perceived by others, Ismena did her best to ignore the constant whispers as she clapped for her husband and told her children how proud she was of their father. It was when Victor and Eleanor began to grow old enough to hear the whispers themselves his mother urged Elijah to give up the stage. When it came to drawing up marriage contracts both Ismena and Zariah knew families like the Blacks and the Malfoys married their children to Pure-Bloods entering society, not the children of an actor and playwright. Despite no longer working for the theatre, the Yaxley family could not outrun Elijah’s passion. The people he’d worked with were replaced with his children and Victor’s sister became the star of the show. Eleanor, like their father, demanded attention and whilst Ismena and Zariah tried to rear Victor to one day be the head of the family, as it seemed his sister was destined for a life like her father, Eleanor didn’t quite seem to get the message and treated him like her personal assistant rather than a brother. 

As she stood in the family parlour during her one woman shoes, Victor was reduced to making costumes and dressing her in them or ushering their family in to watch her sing. His sister was the only thing that eased his father’s departure from the theatre, but even Victor could see Eleanor wasn’t enough to make him happy. No one ever commented on it, but Victor would watch it all unfold silently. His mother would often tell him to stand up to his sister and demand her respect but Victor found it difficult to take advice from a woman who had allowed her husband to treat her so terribly. It was frustrating feeling to know that in their family Victor and his mother would only ever be supporting characters though he resided not to argue with his parents or sister about it. In Victor’s opinion, Eleanor was only capable of loving herself. She was a dead ringer for their father who had never taken an interest in anyone who couldn’t give him something he wanted. As he listened to his family he made a silent promise to himself to not end up like them. Unhappy and thrown together into a situation of convenience that would never manifest true happiness. He had hoped Hogwarts would be the start of finding that happiness he so desperately desired. Although Victor was much quieter than his sister and overlooked because of that, he had all the grandeur and showmanship of his father. 

Out of his school robes, Victor only wore expensive, hand tailored clothing and often had a hand in the process of designing all of the garments he wore. It was his love for his appearance and an ability to withstand being around very strong personalities that attracted the attention of NARCISSA BLACK. Sorted into Slytherin alongside her, Narcissa was everything his sister could never be but what Victor’s mother and grandmother hoped strict schooling would turn her into. Narcissa was image conscious and constructed a friendship group of beautiful people like him and his sister. VIOLET BULSTRODE and PERSEPHONE WILKES were perfect till they opened their mouths and REGULUS BLACK and RABASTAN LESTRANGE were handsome, stoic and quiet which seemed to be how Narcissa preferred her company. Although Victor was fond of her, the constant noise from the people that surrounded her and close proximity to his sister drew him to become friends drew him to become friends with WILLIAM GOYLE and ALECTO and AMYCUS CARROW, fellow Slytherins who floated on the edge of his original group of friends. The new group allowed Victor to explore a side of himself he’d never been brave enough to look at. Alecto and Amycus were trouble maker twins with a relationship which made him envious. Amycus let Alecto take the lead but was always there to catch her when she fell or jump aboard a plan she had to make the lives of those she hated miserable. 

He wondered if he and Eleanor could have been that way if he’d been more comfortable giving her the limelight or if she’d have been happy to share it. At first his friendship with the twins and William was to help boost his ego but then it became about something else entirely. Amycus Carrow was feared by all who knew him, but Victor saw something else. He was always seen as a monster, but Victor told himself it was mostly for show. The love he had for Alecto seemed too pure for him to be completely evil and although Victor projected a very firm and cold stance to the outside world, he allowed Amycus to see a softer side to him he believed they both shared. Victor found beauty and meaning in every owl he received from him and each glance and kiss exchanged after parties in dark corridors filled Victor with the promise of something more. Even when Amycus and his family were disgraced due to his father’s gambling, Victor was still willing to marry him and offer him every happiness. The Yaxley family refused to hear of it. As they lectured him on appearance and the importance of strong ties, his father sat oddly quiet. Elijah had never been much of a father but with their family reputation in the balance, Victor had thought he would say something, but he wouldn’t. Unbeknownst to Victor, his mother and sister, his father would have been a hypocrite. More than the love of the stage had prevented him from being a proper father and husband, leaving him with little a leg to stand on. 

CHRISTINE MAY was a Muggle actress and ¼ veela who had worked opposite his father for many years. Their professional chemistry had carried off screen and due to his stupidity or perhaps out of love, three children had been born. ADAIRIA LINWOOD and LAUREL LINWOOD were born before he’d married Ismena and had been swept under the carpet by Zariah. MAREN LINWOOD was born after Victor and Eleanor and had been a closely guarded secret his grandmother and father had tried their best to keep. A year their junior, Maren had been a favourite target of Victor and Eleanor’s at school to bully. A Muggle-Born witch, they’d known her from choir and despised her talent and prettiness, none the wiser her talent ran in their veins too. Knowing that if their birth was made public it would ruin the family, Victor’s grandmother had done her best to steer the family away from drama and draw up good contracts for the rest of the family to wither the storm should it come. As such she had thrown the twins at anyone she deemed worthy and sent numerous owls to RITA SKEETER to push her endeavours and make them seem more eligible to other families. Sick of her interfering, Victor hatched a plan to keep his grandmother at bay and plan his path to happiness. Scheming with former schoolmate Persephone Wilkes, the pair have been plotting a scandal sure to keep their annoying relatives at bay and cause the right kind of stir on the Sacred Twenty-Eight social scene.

ADDITONAL INFORMATION:

Blood Status → Pure-Blood

Pronouns → He/Him

Identification → Cis Male

Sexuality  → Homosexual & Demisexual 

Relationship Status → Single

Previous Education →  Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Slytherin)

Societies → N/A

Family → Elijah Yaxley (father), Ismena Yaxley (mother), Victor Yaxley (brother), Adaria Linwood (unknown half-sister), Laurel Linwood (unknown half-sister/adversary), Maren Linwood (unknown half-sister/adversary), Corban Yaxley (uncle), Dionysus Flint (uncle), Lotte Flint (aunt), Decius Flint (cousin), Rosalie Flint(cousin), Eelis Burke (uncle), Kratista Burke (aunt) Caius Burke (cousin), Lyra Burke (cousin)

Connections  → Amycus Carrow (close friend/object of affection), Alecto Carrow (close friend), William Goyle (close friend), Narcissa Black (close friend), Persephone Wilkes (friend/faux girlfriend), Violet Bulstrode (friend), Rabastan Lestrange (friend), Regulus Black (friend)

Future Information → N/A

VICTOR YAXLEY IS A LEVEL 3 WIZARD.

[lovelyirony]

dsjhfjkdj winteriron with that fight prompt would be god tier please give us that gift

Here’s something that most know about Tony Stark: he doesn’t keep his mouth shut, and he likes to know everything. It took many deals to make sure he didn’t tell the US people exactly what was in Area 51. 

(He made the sure the deal expires two years from now, there’s no way in fuck he’s not telling people about the whole North Dakota thing.) 

Tony has grown up with power. He knows how to manipulate it, how others manipulate it, and he’s not afraid of it. That’s a dangerous thing, to not be afraid of power. But when you run an influential company that can make or break people at an alarming rate, but not that alarming because he doesn’t use it for evil, then it’s...well. 

You’re not scared of threats. And if the people threatening you are smart, they’ll realize why. 

This is why when Alexander Pierce walks into his office and charmingly tells him all about his plan to threaten Tony Stark with death and blackmail of the sexual kind involving two men, Tony snorts. 

“Pierce, fire whoever the fuck got you that little blackmail. Half of America has seen my asshole before, it’s not anything new. It’ll just be more material that people see, and to be quite frank, I don’t think my sleeping with men will hurt literally anything besides some conservatives with children or community or whatever, but I couldn’t give less of a shit. Tell me, does my ass look good in that video? I wasn’t sure that time around...” 

Pierce turns red with rage. Tony’s used to it. 

“As for death,” he steamrolls on. “Go for it. I assume since I stopped creating weapons you have Hammer weapons now or some incredibly old Stark weaponry, which is hard to find given the fact that there’s an order to destroy all of it or donate it to a museum. And if it’s neither and you’re planning on a knife or anything, go right ahead. Try and kill me. I guarantee you won’t.” 

“You have no idea who you’re going up against,” Pierce warns, voice turning low and gravelly. 

Tony laughs. “I’m going up against an old leader of a mob named Hydra who had to hide because of my Aunt Peggy being the most terrifying leader around. You couldn’t make a move. And now you’re recruiting people, but you think you’re being so slick about it. I can and will make sure that you are burned along with the rest of your little game. That sound nice?” 

“And how will you do that?” Pierce asks. “You think you can find all of us?” 

“Yes,” Tony says easily. (He doesn’t know this, but like. It’s Hydra. How hard can it be?) “Because if you’re so reliant on your own power status, then how easily will it be for your organization to crumble?” 

Pierce is sent away, and Tony tweets out that he got threatened. Casual Wednesday stuff. Then he says he’s flying away for safety. 

This is a flat-out lie. Pepper knows it. Rhodey knows it. Maybe someone reading the tweet in the middle of Wisconsin knows it, hell if Tony can guess. 

But the point is, no one else will think it’s a lie, especially when he sends a plane over somewhere tropical. 

He’s staying put in New York. The best lie is one that is grand, multiple small holes in this lie, and one that doesn’t involve not going out in public. Everyone else will be looking for Pierce. Not Tony Stark. 

Tony is looking for someone else--or rather, a group. 

They call themselves the Avengers. A group of people that rival Pierce in power, although their group is smaller and more concentrated at getting people out of positions of power. 

It’s understandable. 

Tony walks right into their office building. 

There’s a guy who he thinks is Clint? He spills his ramen. 

“Oh fuck, my ramen,” he whines. “What the fuck are you doing here, Stark?” 

“I have a favor to ask,” Tony says with a shrug. “Who do I talk to about favors? And your security? It lacks, to be completely honest. I expected more from you all.” 

“Security is me,” comes a voice from behind. Tony side-steps a charge from a woman who was lunging for him. 

“Ms. Romanov, I expected more from someone who worked for my company for six months.” 

“You remember?” Natasha asks, surprised. 

“Natasha I do love my scotch, but not enough to black out anymore,” Tony says. “Honestly, who do you take me for? A floozy?” 

She smiles. 

“Good to have you here, Stark. Wish the circumstances could be better. Let me take you to Barnes.” 

Well. Tony Stark was not expecting Barnes to look like that. He wasn’t expecting any of them, to be completely honest. 

“Is the expectation to be attractive and a model?” Tony asks. “Is this your interview process for new candidates? Wow. Okay.” 

James Barnes stares at him. 

“Why are you here?” 

“Alexander Pierce,” Tony says. “He tried to threaten me in my own offices, and I’d like to destroy him. A bit of an impulsive project, but I bet he’s going to infest more things if we’re not careful. I want your help.” 

“Consider it done,” Barnes says. No thought needed. Natasha looks at him. “What did you have in mind?” 

“I am technologically gifted,” Tony says. “I already have gotten into some files that definitely are not for the public and I’ve found a lot of people that are Hydra. We need to round them up, encircle Pierce, and get him to break. Preferably on national television, but that’s just my own flair for the dramatic coming up.” 

James nods. He reaches out his hand. The metal one. 

It’s meant to intimidate people, tell them that that’s their fate if they fuck up the deal. 

Tony stares at it almost with reverence, a bit of confusion, and then understanding. 

“Your fingers need to be re-calibrated soon. And I’m going to replace something in your arm.” 

“What?” 

Tony laughs. 

“Barnes, you’re wearing an arm I created. I know it as well as you do, maybe better. I want you to come down to my shop some time this week and have it worked on, if you’re comfortable with that.” 

And so the deal starts. 

“Do we think this is a good idea?” Steve asks cautiously. “Is this seriously just something he decides on a whim?” 

“Steve, I’m going to pretend like you questioning the most famous billionaire of all time but not for shitty reasons is asking us for help,” Bruce says. “I am planning on taking full advantage of this and breaking into his labs for science reasons since I’m not trusted with a Bunsen burner here.” 

“You used it to make soup and it ended horribly,” Clint reminds him. “And I know, because I supported you.” 

“You’re the only one on this team who does,” Bruce says. 

- 

Bucky does bring Bruce along. He’s figuring that part of the deal can be that Bruce can actually use a real lab. 

Tony’s focus zeroes in on Bruce, actually. 

“So, this is where Dr. Banner’s been hiding,” Tony says. “I’ve been looking around for you for quite some time, Bruce.” 

Bruce blushes. 

“Well, thank you Dr. Stark.” 

Bucky raises an eyebrow. 

“Bruce here is a legend in the scientific community for two reasons,” Tony says. “He was the first to call Richard Reed a little bitch, and his scientific papers are the stuff of legend. I presume you want a lab?” 

“If it’s not too much.” 

“Nope, not at all. After everything is done, you’ll have a lab here.” Bruce gapes, and Bucky clears his throat.

Tony’s gaze returns to Bucky. 

“So, what can I help you out with?” 

“Strategy. And I’m wondering what kind of help you have.” 

Tony nods, flipping a picture of a man on his desk. 

“Thor. And his brother, but his brother is kind of...temperamental. I think he’ll most likely help because I told him that he could use crazy straws and shaving cream for unknown purposes.” 

Bucky raises an eyebrow. 

“Trust me, it’ll be worth it. But Thor is good at being discreet, also using an incredible amount of force.” 

“His name is Thor,” Bucky states. “For real?” 

“As far as I’ve found,” Tony mentions. “I’ve connected him to Rogers and Romanov, they’re already planning together tonight.” 

“Then why have us here?” Bucky asks. 

“Because I’m getting Bruce’s lab set up with input, and I’m fixing your arm,” Tony says. “So both of you, follow me to my home.” 

Bruce is giddy. Beyond giddy. It’s the first time Bucky’s seen a smile on his face for longer than a minute. 

(Okay well, a second time. The first time was when Steve tripped over three socks.) 

Tony leads Bucky to his “garage” which is full of cars worth more than Bucky’s entire life, and they sit at two chairs as Tony gets out his tools. 

“When’s the last time you had a maintenance check?” 

“Uh...when I got the arm?” Bucky asks. “Wasn’t exactly aware of maintenance checks.” 

“I bet you had Ted as your person,” Tony grumbles. “Hated that dude. Well you can always come and get it tuned up, no charge. They didn’t tell you that. I’ll have to remind them.” 

Bucky’s surprised at Tony’s easy confidence, the way his shop is laid out. 

He smiles at the robots that curiously come up to investigate. 

“Dad has a couple of new friends,” Tony explains. “U and Dum-E, please don’t poke Bucky in the side, he might--” 

Bucky laughs, flinching away as the screwdriver drops from Tony’s hand. 

“Do that,” Tony says, bending down to pick up the screwdriver. He gets a random bolt, one of the larger ones. 

“Go see if you can pick this up with your claws,” Tony says, throwing it in the opposite direction. The bots squeal after it. Tony sends a look to Bucky. 

“Kids. They’re a mess.” 

“You named them...that?” Bucky says. 

“Yup,” Tony says. “The one that’s anxiously looking behind the couch is U, like the letter. He really liked pointing when he was first born and the first word he learned was ‘you.’ He’s a cutie. The charmer there who’s spinning and trying to show off his new tape that Pepper decorated him with is Dum-E. He’s a drama queen. I have no idea where he gets it from, honestly.” 

Bucky laughs. 

- 

From then, Bucky and Tony work in close quarters together. It’s nice, honestly. They’ve been cracking down on Hydra, driving them into a smaller and smaller circle. 

“You think after all this is over, you want to get dinner some time?” Tony asks. 

Bucky smiles. “I’d love that. Where do you want to go?” 

“Your choice,” Tony says. “As a thank you for helping.” 

“Anything for you, doll.” 

And then Tony gets kidnapped. By all accounts he’s not sure why he wasn’t expecting it. Maybe because it was a Sunday night, and you shouldn’t kidnap people on Sunday nights. It’s rude is what it is. 

They also punch his mouth, which ugh. That just ruined his good days of not having any chapped lips. He was working hard on that particular aspect. 

- 

Bucky goes into overdrive. He didn’t think this would happen because Tony is a very central figure to the city, a figure to the US. To be this ballsy? It’s a death sentence. 

He knows death sentences quite well. Been on a few himself. 

Hydra should be quaking, because he’s getting his knives strapped. 

Hydra is not quaking. Or in fear. It’s because they have quite the large ego, which no organization should have. But powerful men who have another powerful man in their grasp tend to think the world is bowing to them, when in fact the world does not give a shit but their enemies do. 

This is why Bucky breaks into the building in two minutes (personal best), throat-punches six people, and finds Tony singing “Turn Back Time” as loudly as possible. 

“Oh! You’re here!” Tony says. “I was beginning to think I’d have to drive the guards to insanity.” 

“Who did this to you,” Bucky asks, tilting Tony’s chin up in his grasp. He can see dried blood on the corners. He hates that Tony had to go through with that. 

“Bucky, it was Hydra, who else?” Tony says. “Pierce if we’re being specific. But you might want to stop doing that or I’m gonna get hot and bothered under the collar, which isn’t my style. You wanna break out of here or stay with me? I’m not fond of the last option.” 

“Then why give it as an option?” 

“I don’t know!” Tony yelps, grabbing one of Bucky’s knives and throwing it at a man’s leg. “But let’s get out of here. Or at least, to their file room. They keep files. What losers.” 

Bucky laughs. 

“Got it doll. Let’s go.” 

For the record, it’s a huge success. Pierce gets taken away in handcuffs for roughly about life in prison, unless their prison system decides he’s been good after about ten years, and then he might get released. Who knows. Point is, Bucky and Tony will both be alive in ten years, prepared to make sure he goes to jail again or they’ve reformed the jail system by then. It’s all up in the air, really. 

But they’re doing it together. Which is all the more important. 

[reallifesultanas]

Portrait of Mihrimah Sultan/Mihrimah szultána portréja

Mihrimah was the most influential true-born sultana ever: she had the highest salary; she was a worthy child and descendant of her mother; she was a true charitable person who also had enormous political influence; her father’s partner and counselor for a lifetime; the only sibling ever to be an (unofficial) valide sultan to her brother; the "greatest princess" and matriarch of a dynasty ... She was a legendary persona, a unique princess.

Origin and early years

There is an amazing legend about the birth of Mihrimah Sultan. According to this, she was born on 21 March 1522, and for this reason the two mosques - built for her years later, designed by Mimar Sinan - were created so that on the princess's birthday, when the sun goes down behind the minaret of the Mihrimah Mosque in Edirnekapı, the moon just goes up between the two minarets of the other Mihrimah Mosque. An important part of the legend is that Mimar Sinan once had the opportunity to see the sultana and immediately fell in love for her. For this reason, his works of outstanding beauty and precision, the Mihrimah Mosques, are also seen as the embodiment of platonic love.

The legend is beautiful, but unfortunately not real. Mihrimah's brother, Mehmed, was born around October 1521, so Mihrimah could not be born in March 1522. Unfortunately, we do not have any evidence to know exactly when she was born. The discrepancies between the Islamic calendar and our calendar used today make it even more difficult to pinpoint. Most likely, in any case, she was born after August 1522, but definitely before 1523.

Although the date of her birth was unknown, the fact of her birth itself was distinctly extraordinary. According to tradition, if a concubine had given birth to a son, she could not return to the sultan's bed, so basically Hürrem, after giving birth to a son in the autumn of 1521, could no longer have been Sultan Suleiman's sexual partner. However, Hürrem not only returned to Suleiman’s bed, but became the sultan’s exclusive sexual partner and, after Mihrimah, she gave birth to four more children for the sultan. Hürrem had Mihrimah as her only daughter, while Suleiman already had a daughter, Raziye, who, however, died in an epidemic before Mihrimah was even born.

Mihrimah, as the only living little princess, was certainly not only the apple of her father's eye, but the light of the whole harem. She spent most of her time with her mother and governess, but they certainly also had regular contact with her family-centric grandmother, Hafsa. It was probably by this time that she began to learn the basics of embroidery from her mother. Hürrem was particularly talented in embroidery, her works being so outstanding that she sometimes sent them as gifts to the leaders of other dynasties. And Mihrimah was reportedly a great student to her mother, who mastered the technique well. In addition to her mother, her father also played an important role in her childhood. Suleiman often visited his family at the Old Palace, and from 1534 they moved together at the Topkapi Palace. From then on, Mihrimah could spend even more time near her father, whom she had regularly mesmerized with her mere existence.

Marriage and husband candidates

The marriage of imperial princesses has always been an important political tool. However, Suleiman did not make much use of this opportunity. His sisters were even married off by their father, Selim I, and after their widowhood he did not force them to marry again. He had a big amount of respect and love for the female members of his family, so he was expected to treat his daughter the same way. Suleiman, however, not only did not marry off his sisters again and again because of his kind nature, but fortunately he did not need allies what marriages could have given him. The empire was rising, the nation had never been so strong, and everyone loved him as a sultan, so simply he did not need allies by marriages.

Ttherefore, there was no particularly urgent need to marry off Mihrimah and it was not necessary to choose the future husband from among the senior and influental pashas. Thus, Suleiman could easily search for a statesman he liked, even from a lower position. Suleiman wanted a reliable, faithful husband for Mihrimah, while Hürrem would prefer a young and handsome husband. Hürrem recommended the Egyptian beylerbey to Suleiman, who was notoriously handsome and young. However, the sultan did not like the man, as he had a reputation as a womanizer, and it was rumoured that he had syphilis. Of course, many such rumors spread unfoundedly, but Suleiman did not investigate the Egyptian beylerbey, he simply rejected the idea. He had other plans. He singled out a particularly humble and trustworthy guy, who he had long known for, to Mihrimah’s side. His choosen one, Rüstem, was his personal servant for almost 10 years from 1526, after which he served as a governor for the sultan in various provinces of the empire. They were very close to each other, and Rüstem also taught the brothers of Mihrimah for a while, so the princes were well known by him. In addition, it is also likely that Mihrimah also had the opportunity to meet the pasha before, as he may have been in the same place as the sultana because of his proximity to the sultan. Eventually, of course, Hürrem was also accepted Suleiman’s husband candidate and the only question was whether Mihrimah would accept him.

Rüstem was roughly seventeen or twenty years older than Mihrimah, one of the ambassadors reported that he was not a particularly handsome guy, but was short and red-faced. So he was clearly not a teenage girl's dream, even if most sultanas had to marry much older pashas than Rüstem. Yet Mihrimah agreed to the marriage. The question arises, could she have said no at all? As a matter of fact, probably yes. She was Suleiman's favorite child, apple of his eyes, if she would had a personal and deep resentments towards Rüstem, she could have said no. But she didn't. Mihrimah was a very smart woman who stood by her mother's side since her childhood and who probably tryed to help her. She was obviously aware of the law of fratricide, that they had to do everything they could to remove Mustafa — his eldest half-brother — from their way, and with this, saving the lives of her blood-brothers. And Rüstem was a great opportunity to do so, as he had known and loved the sons of Hürrem since childhood, thus there was no question that he would side with Hürrem and Mihrimah in this bloody war. So for the sake of her brother's future, Mihrimah said yes to marriage.

Marriage and relationship with her husband

The wedding took place in 1539. Rüstem could have been around 35 at the time, while Mihrimah was 17 years old. The circumcision ceremony of Bayezid and Cihangir was held at the same time as the wedding of Mihrimah. The double ceremony eventually lasted for 15 days, during which the entire population of Istanbul shared the joy of the Sultan’s family during the festivals and feasts. Due to his position, Rüstem lived in Istanbul, so Mihrimah did not have to move far away from her parents either. That’s why Rüstem was a great choice, as neither Suleiman nor Hürrem wanted to lose their daughter. And Mihrimah, with her strong will, would certainly have manage to stay in the capital as well.

There is no question that it was not a love marriage, however, the relationship was by no means as bad as it was portrayed in the popular series. Mihrimah could at least marry a man he knew, who was a committed supporter of her brothers and was extremely loyal to her father, the Sultan. Their marriage was crowned in 1541 by the birth of their first child. Ayşe Hümaşah was the first child of Rüstem, the first grandson of Hürrem. By now, Suleiman was grandfather of at least one, as Prince Mustafa had a six-year-old daughter, but later Ayşe Hümaşah became his favorite grandchild. Mihrimah and Rüstem later — it is not known exactly when — had another child, a son, Osman. This suggests that they may have had a relatively balanced relationship, as the sultanas could have refused to have sexual intercourse with their husbands. Their fair relationship is also indicated by the fact that they had many charitable projects managed together.

The marriage of the two ended in 1561, with the death of Rüstem Pasha. However, their mutual respect is shown in the will of Rüstem. He left everything to his wife and daughter: the management of his charities was largely given to his daughter, but Mihrimah was given much similar tasks also. In addition, it was Mihrimah who completed the Rüstem Pasha Mosque, which was only half-finished at the time of Rüstem's death.

Her intrigues

According to legend, Mihrimah, with the support of her mother Hürrem, wanted to make Rüstem the next Grand Vizier, which plan was finally successfully completed. However, it would be wrong to think that only the actions of the two women led to the appointment of Rüstem. Rüstem had been the sultan's confidential man for twenty years so far, Suleiman found him worthy to be the husband of his only daughter, it was clear that the sultan himself wanted to give this position to Rüstem once. However, Mihrimah and Hürrem were not satisfied with this, but wanted Rüstem to enjoy the prerogatives that Ibrahim had previously enjoyed. The sultan, on the other hand, sharply refrained from letting anyone as close to him as he had done with Ibrahim.

One of the important cornerstones of Mihrimah and Rustem’s marriage was the multitude of common intrigues. Mihrimah was very active politically, with her husband she often was able to uccessfully convince the sultan. This was the case when, in 1542, Suleiman wanted to take the infant Hungarian king and his mother, Queen Isabella, to Istanbul as political prisoners. However, being a smart woman, Izabella knew she could get help from the sultan's daughter and wife. So she complained to Mihrimah and Hürrem about how young she was widowed, how she was left alone with her son and now even the sultan want to deprived her and her son of their throne. In addition, of course, she also sent very valuable gifts to Mihrimah and her husband. She must have mentioned her descent in her letter as well. Izabella was the daughter of the King of Poland, from whose country Hürrem Sultan came from. And this was an important link between Hürrem, Mihrimah and Izabella. Either way, Izabella persuaded Hürrem and Mihrimah, who together with Rüstem, easily persuaded the Sultan to support Izabella and her son instead of bringing them to Istanbul as prisoners. Thus it happened that János Zsigmond Szapolyai became the next king of Hungary.

However, the main task of the couple was to support the brothers of Mihrimah, especially Prince Mehmed. By 1543 it was quite clear that they wanted Mehmed to ascend the throne and the trio had done all they could for this aim. However, the early death of the prince made their situation more difficult. For a time they did not care which prince of theirs should be the next sultan, they worked only and exclusively to get rid of Prince Mustafa. It took another ten years before they were finally successful and Mustafa was executed by the Sultan. Exactly how much Mihrimah was involved in this process and what she did is unknown, as there is no evidence at all to prove the guilt of Hürrem or Mihrimah. But nonetheless, it would be naive to think that Mihrimah, who was the copy of her mother both in body and soul, would not have been involved in the struggle of her beloved mother and husband.

It seems that after Mustafa's death, the trio voted for Prince Bayezid, while the Sultan himself favored Selim. Perhaps that is why Bayezid was chosen: to balance the situation of the two princes. However, Bayezid’s nature resembled a timed bomb, so they were afraid that if he was not supported, he would raise the Sultan’s anger with a reckless act. Thus, the fact that Bayezid was supported does not clearly mean that they also wanted him to be the one sitting on the throne.

Loss of her mother

1558 brought a drastic change in Mihrimah's life. Hürrem Sultan died. Mihrimah and her mother were especially close to each other, of the known mother-daughter relationships, the two of them had the closest. Mihrimah visited Hürrem every day at Topkapi Palace, spending more time there than in her own palace. She also regularly accompanied her mother on her travels and visited her siblings together. Thus, the loss of Hürrem was certainly a great pain for Mihrimah. However, Hürrem, at the time of her death, handed over her responsibilities to her daughter, who thus had no time to mourn, she had to take immediate action to continue her mother's path. And this meant nothing more than the support of the Sultan and the protection of Prince Bayezid.

However, Mihrimah could not influence Bayezid like their mother, so she could not meke the prince to wait patiently and not annoy the sultan. Bayezid soon revolted against the sultan, and for this, according to several sources, Bayezid asked Mihrimah for money. And Mihrimah gave it to him. When the sultan realized this, he immediately questioned his daughter, who proudly replied that her mother asked her to do anything for Bayezid on her deathbed, so she was not guilty of anything. We don’t know how Suleiman reacted, but their relationship seems to have deteriorated for a while.

However, Mihrimah's support was not enough either, Bayezid failed in the decisive battle of the rebellion he fought, lost the battle and was forced to flee the battlefield. By this time, both Mihrimah and Rustem were helpless. And Rustem soon lost his life, so there was no one left to save Bayezid and his sons from execution. Bayezid was executed in 1562, and a few months later the sultan organized a huge wedding to marry off the daughters of the heir, Prince Selim, one of the daughters of the late Prince Mustafa, and the daughter of Bayezid who was at the appropriate age for marriage. Mihrimah faced her father again because of the wedding. Most sources say that it was only during the wedding preparations that Mihrimah learned that Bayezid had been executed, as by then the news had not reached Istanbul and Suleiman had ordered complete secrecy. Mihrimah, shattered and enraged by grief, found it deeply outrageous that a ceremony was being held in the empire shortly after his brother was executed. Therefore, she tried in every way possible to make the ceremony impossible, for example by forbidding anyone in the harem to have fun and show happiness. Since Mihrimah lived in the Old Palace since the death of Rustem and she probably led the harem also, her orders were accepted and there was no amusement in the harem. According to reports from the ambassadors, Suleiman was shattered and disappointed. However, upon hearing the news, Selim allegedly said, angrily, that he never loved his sister, nor her husband, nor their mother, for choosing Bayezid instead. However, the reliability of this news is in doubt, for the ambassador who wrote it deeply despised Selim.

Her relationship with her father seems to have settled over time, however, since in 1565, for example, Mihrimah persuaded her father to initiate a campaign against Malta, and she herself offered her own treasury, teasing to exhibit 400 galleys to the army. Thus, although there is no doubt that the execution of Bayezid left its mark on their relationship forever. It was probably at the end of his life that Suleiman could have his only daughter with him again.

The new era

Mihrimah lost her father in 1566 and a new world began for her with the reign of her younger brother, Selim. The relationship between the two was not the best, as Mihrimah was always on Bayezid’s side, but by this time only the two of them were alive from the family, so they chose togetherness instead of hatred. First, Mihrimah extended a helping hand to Selim when he was blackmailed and humiliated by the Janissaries before his accession to the throne. The Janissaries wanted to get their ascension fee immediately when Selim had not even ascended the throne. At that time, Selim did not have access to the imperial treasury, and it would have been too long to bring money from his own province, so Mihrimah paid the soldier's allowance for Selim to occupy the throne at all without riots. Selim did not remain ungrateful, for he made his sister the head of the Old Palace harem, and thus a de facto valide sultan.

During Selim's reign, she basically stayed in the background and spent her time on charity, construction projects instead of politics. Mihrimah has supported many construction projects, but the most famous are undoubtedly the two Mihrimah mosques, which are the most beautiful works of the imperial architect Mimar Sinan. She also supported Nurbanu's efforts to free two captured Turkish women from the French. Together, with Nurbanu’s daughters and her own daughter, they finally persuaded the Queen of France to send the women back home. Based on this, we can think that she had a good relationship with Nurbanu. There is no direct evidence of a relationship between the two women, probably it was a respectful one. However, Mihrimah’s daughter supported Nurbanu’s opponent, Safiye Haseki Sultan, which also raises the possibility that Mihrimah herself favored Safiye over Nurbanu.

The twilight of her life

Selim died in 1574 and his son Murad succeeded him to the throne. The relationship between Murad and Mihrimah is not known, but presumably a spike could have remained in Murad for Mihrimah supporting Bayezid. That is why there are those who suspect that Mihrimah lost all power during Murad's reign. In fact, this is unlikely, as Murad gave Mihrimah a salary as high as no other imperial princess has ever received in a similar situation. Mihrimah may have decided to retire by herself. With the death of Selim, she was left alone in the family, having so far lost four brothers, both parents, nephews, husband and her own son. Broken with so much pain, she probably no longer felt the urge to care with politics. Her daughter Ayşe Hümaşah, who was very active politically, continued her path.

Mihrimah died on 25 January 1578, in the Old Palace. Sultan Murad decided to bury Mihrimah next to her father, breaking the tradition that the sultans rested alone in their turbe. However, with her death, her bloodline did not disappear, as her daughter, her descendants, could be traced back to the 20th century, but presumably other family members still live today. They are the Mihrumazadelers.

Used sources: L. Peirce - Empress of the east; L. Peirce - The imperial harem;  Y. Öztuna - Kanuni Sultan Süleyman; N. Sakaoğlu - Bu Mülkün Kadın Sultanları

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Mihrimah volt a valaha élt legbefolyásosabb birodalmi szultána: övé volt a legmagasabb fizetés; méltó gyermeke és utódja volt édesanyjának; igazi jótékony személy volt, hatalmas politikai befolyással; apja társa és tanácsadója egy életen át; az egyetlen valaha volt testvér, aki nem hivatalos valide szultána lehetett öccse mellett; a "legnagyobb hercegnő" és egy dinasztia matriarchája... Egy legendás személyiség volt, soha hozzá fogható nem élt.

Származása és korai évei

Mihrimah szultána születését egy igen érdekes legenda övezi. Eszerint 1522 március 21-én született, és ezen okból kifolyólag az évekkel később neki építtetett két mecsetet Mimar Sinan, birodalmi főépítész úgy tervezte meg, hogy a hercegnő születésnapján, amikor a nap az Edirnekapıban található Mihrimah-mecset minaretje mögött lemegy, a hold az üsküdari Mihrimah-mecset két tornya között éppen akkor keljen fel. A legenda fontos része az is, hogy Mimar Sinannak egyszer alkalma nyílt meglesni a szultánát és azonnal beleszeretett. Éppen ezért, a kiemelkedő szépségű és precizitású munkáit, a Mihrimah-mecseteket a plátói szerelem megtestesüléseként is tekintik.

A legenda gyönyörű, azonban sajnos nem valós. Mihrimah bátyja, Mehmed 1521 októbere körül született, így Mihrimah matematikailag nem születhetett 1522 márciusában. Sajnos nem áll rendelkezésünkre semmi olyan bizonyíték, amely alátámasztaná, hogy pontosan mikor született a szultána. Az iszlám naptár és a ma használt naptárunk közötti eltérések tovább nehezítik a pontos meghatározást. A legvalószínűbb mindenesetre, hogy 1522 augusztusa, szeptembere körül születhetett leghamarabb, de mindenképpen 1523 előtt.

Születési ideje bár nem ismert, születésének ténye maga kifejezetten rendkívüli volt. A tradíciók szerint ha egy ágyas fiút szült, nem térhetett vissza a szultán ágyába, így elméletileg Hürrem, miután 1521 őszén fiút szült, nem lehetett volna tovább Szulejmán szultán szexuális partnere. Hürrem azonban nem csak visszatért Szulejmán ágyába, de a szultán kizárólagos szexuális partnere lett és Mihrimah után további négy gyermeket szült a szultánnak. Hürremnek Mihrimah volt az egyetlen leánygyermeke, míg Szulejmánnak volt már egy kislánya, Raziye, aki azonban Mihrimah születése előtt életét vesztette egy járvány során.

Mihrimah, mint az egyetlen élő kishercegnő minden bizonnyal nem csak édesapja, de az egész hárem szeme fénye volt. Ideje nagyrészét édesanyjával és dajkájával töltötte, ám emellett minden bizonnyal a családcentrikus nagyanyjával is rendszeres kapcsolatban álltak. Valószínűleg már ekkor elkezdte eltanulni édesanyjától a hímzés alapjait. Hürrem ugyanis különösen tehtséges volt a hímzésben, munkái olyan kiemelkedő szépségűek voltak, hogy előfordult, hogy más dinasztia fejeinek küldte őket ajándékba. Mihrimah pedig a beszámolók szerint remek diákja volt anyjának, aki remekül elsajátította a technikát. Édesanyja mellett, apja is fontos szerepet töltött be már gyermekkorában. Szulejmán gyakran látogatta családját a Régi Palotában, majd 1534-től összeköltöztek a Topkapi Palotában. Innentől kezdve Mihrimah még több időt tölthetett édesapja közelében, akit már puszta létezésével is rendszeresen levett a lábáról.

Kiházasítása és a férjjelöltek

A birodalmi hercegnők házassága mindig fontos politikai eszköz volt. Szulejmán azonban nem különösebben élt ezzel a lehetőséggel. Lánytestvéreit is még apjuk, I. Szelim házasította ki, megözvegyülésük után ő pedig nem forszírozta újra házasodásukat. Meglehetősen nagy tisztelettel és szeretettel viseltetett családja nőtagjai iránt, így várható volt, hogy egyetlen kislányával szemben is a rá jellemző alapossággal fog eljárni. Szulejmán azonban nem csak kedves természete miatt nem használta ki nőrokonait, hanem szerencséjére nem volt szüksége szövetségesekre, melyeket a házasságok jeenthettek volna neki, hiszen a birodalom szárnyalt, sose volt még ilyen erős a nemzet és őt magát is mindenki szerette.

Ilyen háttérrel tehát nem volt kifejezetten sürgős Mihrimah kiházasítása és nem volt szükséges magas beosztású pasák közül választani a férjjelöltet. Így Szulejmán nyugodtan kereshetett neki tetsző államférfit, akár alacsonyabb pozícióból is. Szulejmán megbízható, hűséges férjet akart Mihrimah számára, ezzel szemben Hürrem inkább fiatal és jóképű férjet. Hürrem az egyiptomi beglerbéget ajánlotta Szulejmánnak, aki köztudottan jóképű és ifjú volt. A szultánnak azonban nem volt kedvére a férfi, hiszen csapodár természet hírében állt, ráadásul azt terjesztették róla, hogy szifilisze van. Természetesen sok ilyen pletyka terjengett alaptalanul is, Szulejmán azonban nem vizsgáltatta ki az egyiptomi beglerbéget, egyszerűen csak elvetette az ötletet. Neki ugyanis más tervei voltak. Egy általa régóta ismert, különösen szerény és megbízható pasát szemelt ki Mihrimah oldalára. Kiszemeltje, Rüsztem pasa 1526-tól majdnem 10 évig a személyes szolgálója volt, utána pedig feltörekvő pasaként szolgálta a szultánt a birodalom különböző tartományaiban. Igen közel álltak egymáshoz, valamint Rüsztem Mihrimah testvéreit is oktatta egy ideig, így a hercegek is jól ismerték. Emellett az is valószínű, hogy Mihrimahnak is volt alkalma találkozni a pasával, hiszen az kifejezetten sok helyen ott lehetett a szultánhoz való közelsége miatt, ahol lehetősége volt látni a szultánát. Végül természetesen Hürrem is kénytelen volt elfogadni Szulejmán férjjelöltjét és már csak az volt a kérdés, hogy Mihrimah elfogadja e.

Rüsztem nagyjából tizenhét-húsz évvel volt idősebb Mihrimahnál, az egyik követ beszámolója szerint nem kifejezetten jóképű, alacsony és vörös képű férfi volt. Egyértelműen nem egy kamaszlány vágyálma volt tehát, még akkor sem ha a legtöbb szultána jóval idősebb férjet kapott maga mellé. Mihrimah mégis beleegyezett a házasságba. Felmerül a kérdés, hogy mondhatott volna egyáltalán nemet? Ami azt illeti valószínűleg igen. Ő volt Szulejmán kedvenc gyermeke, szemefénye, ha különös és mély ellenérzései lettek volna Rüsztem irányába, mondhatott volna nemet. Ám ő nem tette. Mihrimah igen okos nő volt, aki gyermekkorától kezdve édesanyja oldalán állt és valószínűleg próbálta őt segíteni. Nyilvánvalóan tisztában volt a testvérgyilkosság törvényével, azzal, hogy mindent meg kell tenniük, hogy Musztafát - legidősebb féltestvérét - eltávolítsák az útból, ezzel megmentve édestestvérei életét. Rüsztem pedig nagyszerű lehetőség volt erre, hiszen gyermekkoruktól kezdve ismerte és szerette Hürrem fiait, nem volt kérdéses, hogy Hürrem és Mihrimah oldalára fog állni ebben a vérremenő harcban. Így tehát testvérei jövője érdekében Mihrimah igent mondott a házasságra.

Házassága és viszonya férjével

Az esküvőre végül 1539-ben került sor. Rüsztem 35 körül lehetett ekkor, míg Mihrimah 17 éves volt. Hogy minél nagyobb ünnepséget kerekítsenek belőle, az esküvővel egy időben megtartották Bayezid és Cihangir herceg körülmetélési szertartását is. A dupla-ünnepség végül 15 napig tartott, melynek során Isztambul teljes lakossága osztozott a szultáni család örömében a fesztiválok és lakomák során. Rüsztem pozíciójának köszönhetően Isztambulban élt, így Mihrimahnak sem kellett szüleitől távol költözni. Rüsztem ezért is volt nagyszerű választás, hiszen sem Szulejmán, sem Hürrem nem akarta lányát elveszíteni. Mihrimah pedig erős akaratával minden bizonnyal szintén azon ügyködött volna, hogy a fővárosban maradhasson.

Nem kérdés, hogy nem szerelmi házasság köttetett, azonban a viszony korántsem volt olyan rossz, ahogy például a népszerű sorozatban ábrázolták. Mihrimah legalább olyan emberhez mehetett feleségül, akit ismert, aki elkötelezett támogatója volt testvéreinek és végletekig hűséges volt apjához, a szultánhoz. Házasságukat első gyermekük születése koronázta meg 1541-ben. Ayşe Hümaşah volt Rüsztem első gyermeke, Hürrem első unokája. Szulejmán eddigre már legalább egyszeres nagyapa volt, Musztafa hercegnek ugyanis volt már egy hat éves kislánya, azonban mégis később Ayşe Hümaşah lett kedvenc unokája. Mihrimah és Rüsztem kapcsolatából később - nem pontosan ismert mikor - született egy fiú is, Osman. Ez azt sugallja, hogy viszonylag kiegyensúlyozott kapcsolatuk lehetett, hiszen a szultánák megtagadhatták a szexuális együttlétet férjükkel. Erre utal az a tény is, hogy nagyon sok jótékony projektet közösen irányítottak.

Kettejük házassága 1561-ben, Rüsztem Pasa halálával ért véget. Kölcsönös tiszteletüket mutatja azonban Rüsztem végrendelete. Mindenét feleségére és lányára hagyta: jótékonysági szervezeteinek irányítását nagyrészt lányára, ám Mihrimahnak is jócskán jutott hasonló feladat. Emellett Mihrimah volt az, aki befejezte Rüsztem Pasa mecsetjét, amely Rüsztem halálakor még csak félkész állapotban volt.

Az intrikus szultána

A legendák szerint Mihrimah, édesanyja Hürrem támogatásával szerette volna elérni, hogy Rüsztem legyen a következő nagyvezír, mely tervüket végül sikerrel véghezvitték. Azonban téves lenne azt gondolni, hogy csak a két nő ténykedése vezetett Rüsztem kinevezéséhez. Rüsztem eddigre húsz éve volt a szultán bizalmas embere, Szulejmán méltónak találta őt egyetlen lánya kezére, egyértelmű volt, hogy a szultán maga is ezt a pozíciót egyszer Rüsztemnek akarta adni. Mihrimah és Hürrem azonban ezzel nem elégedtek meg, hanem olyan előjogokat akartak Rüsztemnek, amelyek korábban Ibrahim Pasát is megillették. A szultán viszont élesen elzárkózott attól, hogy bárkit újra olyan közel engedjen magához, mint ahogyan Ibrahimmal tette.

Mihrimah és Rüsztem házasságának egyik fontos alapköve volt a közös intrikák sokasága. Mihrimah politikailag igen aktív volt, sokszor férjével közösen sikerrel győzték meg a szultánt egy egy ügy kapcsán. Ilyen volt, amikor 1542-ben Szulejmán szerette volna Isztambulba vitetni politikai fogolyként a csecsemő magyar királyt és édesanyját, Izabella királynét. Izabella azonban okos nő lévén tudta, hogy segítséget kaphat a szultán lányától és nejétől. Elpanaszolta hát helyzetét Mihrimahnak és Hürremnek is: hogy milyen ifjan megözvegyült, egyedül maradt fiával és most még trónjától, jogától is megfosztanák. Emellett pedig természetesen igen értékes ajándékokat is küldött Mihrimah szultána és férje számára. Minden bizonnyal Izabella levelében kijátszotta származását is. Izabella ugyanis a lengyel király lánya volt, azé a lengyel királyé, akinek országából Hürrem szultána származott. Ez pedig fontos kapocs volt Hürrem, Mihrimah és Izabella között. Akárhogyan is, Izabella meggyőzte Hürremet és Mihrimaht is, akik Rüsztemmel karöltve könnyedén rávették a szultánt, hogy támogassa Izabellát és annak fiát, ahelyett, hogy fogolyként Isztambulba hozatná őket. Így lett hát, hogy Szapolyai János Zsigmond lett a Magyar Királyság következő királya.

A házaspár fő feladata azonban Mihrimah testvéreinek támogatása volt, különösen Mehmed hercegé. 1543-ig teljesen egyértelmű volt, hogy Mehmed herceget szerették volna trónra emelni és a trió ehhez mindent elkövetett. A herceg korai halála azonban megnehezítette helyzetüket. Egy ideig nem foglalkoztak azzal, hogy melyik herceg legyen az új kiszemeltjük, csak és kizárólag Musztafa herceg ellehetetlenítésén dolgoztak. Még tíz évbe telt, mire végül sikerrel jártak és Musztafát kivégeztette a szultán. Az, hogy Mihrimah pontosan mennyire és hogyan vett részt ebben a folyamatban, nem ismert, hiszen nincsenek egyáltalán olyan bizonyítékok, amelyek Hürrem vagy Mihrimah bűnösségét bizonyítanák. Ám ettől függetlenül naivitás lenne azt gondolnunk, hogy Mihrimah, aki anyja kiköpött mása volt testben és lélekben is, nem vett volna részt szeretett anyja és férje harcában.

Olybá tűnik, hogy Musztafa halála után a trió Bayezid herceg mellett tette le a voksát, míg a szultán maga Szelimet favorizálta. Talán épp ezért választották Bayezidet, hogy kiegyenlített lehessen a két herceg helyzete. Mindemellett Bayezid természete egy időzített bombához hasonlított, így félő volt, ha nem támogatják, a szultán haragját fogja kivívni egy meggondolatlan cselekedettel. Így az, hogy Bayezidet támogatták, nem jelenti egyértelműen azt, hogy a trónon is őt szerették volna látni.  

Édesanyja elvesztése

1558 drasztikus változást hozott Mihrimah életében. Hürrem szultána meghalt. Mihrimah és édesanyja különösen közel álltak egymáshoz, az ismert anya-lánya kapcsolatok közül, kettejüké volt a legszorosabb. Mihrimah minden nap meglátogatta Hürremet a Topkapi Palotában, ezzel pedig több időt töltött ott, mint saját palotájában. Emellett rendszeresen elkísérte anyját annak utazásaira és együtt látogatták meg testvéreit. Így minden bizonnyal Hürrem elvesztése hatalmas fájdalmat jelentett Mihrimah számára. Azonban Hürrem, halálakor feladatait lányára ruházta át, akinek így nem volt ideje gyászolni, azonnal akcióba kellett lépnie, hogy folytathassa édesanyja útját. Ez pedig nem jelentett mást, mint a szultán támogatását és Bayezid herceg védelmét.

Mihrimah azonban nem tudta úgy befolyásolni Bayezidet, mint édesanyjuk, így nem tudta azt sem elérni, hogy a herceg türelemmel várjon és ne bosszantsa a szultánt. Bayezid hamarosan fellázadt a szultán ellen, mely lázadáshoz több forrás szerint is Mihrimahtól kért pénzt. Mihrimah pedig adott neki. A szultán mikor rájött erre, azonnal kérdőre vonta lányát, aki annyit felelt, hogy édesanyja végakaratát teljesítette, ezért ő nem bűnös semmiben. Nem tudjuk, hogy Szulejmán hogyan reagált, de úgy tűnik viszonyuk egy időre megromlott.

Azonban Mihrimah támogatása sem volt elég, Bayezid herceg az általa szított lázadás döntő ütközetében elbukott, elvesztette a csatát és kénytelen volt elmenkülni a harctérről. Ekkor már Mihrimah és Rüsztem is tehetetlenek voltak. Rüsztem pasa pedig hamarosan életét vesztette, így nem maradt senki, aki meg menthette volna Bayezidet és fiait a kivégzéstől. 1562-ben Bayezidet kivégezték, majd néhány hónapra rá a szultán hatalmas lakodalmat szervezett, hogy kiházasítsa az örökös, Szelim herceg lányait, az elhunyt Musztafa herceg egyik lányát és Bayezid megfelelő korban lévő lányát is. Mihrimah újra szembekerült apjával az esküvő miatt. A források legtöbbje úgy írja, hogy Mihrimah csak az esküvő előkészületei során tudta meg, hogy Bayezidet kivégezték, addigra ugyanis a hírek nem érték el Isztambult, Szulejmán pedig teljes titoktartást rendelt el. Mihrimah a gyásztól összetörve és feldühödve mélységesen felháborítónak tartotta, hogy nemsokkal a testvére kivégzése után ünnepséget rendeznek a birodalomban. Ezért minden lehetséges módon igyekezett ellehetetleníteni a szertartást, így például megtiltotta, hogy a háremben bárki is mulatozzon és boldogságot mutasson. Mivel Mihrimah Rüsztem halála óta a Régi Palotában élt és valószínűleg vezette is azt, parancsai célt értek és a háremben elmaradt a mulatság. A követek beszámolói alapján Szulejmán összetört, és mérhetetlenül csalódott volt. Szelim azonban a hír hallatán állítólag feldühödve kijelentette, hogy sosem szerette nővérét, sem annak férjét sőt anyjukat sem, amiért azok Bayezidet választották helyette. Ezen hír megbízhatósága azonban kétséges, ugyanis a követ aki ezt lejegyezte mélységesen megvetette Szelim herceget.

Viszonya apjával úgy tűnik idővel mégis rendeződött, hiszen 1565-ben például Mihrimah győzködte apját, hogy kezdeményezzen hadjáratot Málta ellen, ő maga pedig saját kincstárát is felajánlotta, megígrve, hogy kiállít 400 gályát a hadsereg számára. Így tehát - bár kétségtelen hogy Bayezid kivégzése örökre nyomot hagyott kapcsolatukon - valószínűleg élete végén Szulejmán újra maga mellett tudhatta egyetlen lányát.

Az új korszak

Mihrimah 1566-ban elveszítette édesapját és egy új világ kezdődött számára öccse, Szelim uralkodásával. A két testvér viszonya nem volt felhőtlen, hiszen Mihrimah mindig Bayezid pártján állt, azonban ekkorra már csak ők ketten voltak életben a családból, ezért az összetartást választották a gyűlölködés helyett. Először Mihrimah nyújtott segítő kezet Szelimnek, amikor azt a janicsárok megzsarolták és megalázták trónralépése előtt. A janicsárok ugyanis azonnal meg akarták kapni a trónralépési jussukat, amikor Szelim még nem is lépett trónra. Ekkor Szelimnek nem volt hozzáférése a birodalmi kincstárhoz, saját tartományából pedig túl hosszú idő lett volna pénzt hozatni, így Mihrimah fizette ki a katonák jussát, hogy Szelim egyáltalán elfoglalhassa a trónt zavargások nélkül. Szelim nem maradt hálátlan, ugyanis nővérét tette meg a Régi Palota fejévé, ezzel pedig de facto valide szultánává.

Szelim uralkodása alatt alapvetően a háttérben maradt és jótékonykodással, építkezési projektekkel töltötte idejét a politika helyett. Mihrimah rengeteg építkezési projektet támogatott, ám leghíresebb kétségkívül a két Mihrimah-mecset, melyek Mimar Sinan birodalmi építész legszebb munkái. Emellett támogatta Nurbanu azon törekvését, hogy a franciáktól visszaszerezzenek két fogjul ejtett török nőt. Közösen, Nurbanu lányaival és saját lányával karöltve végül meggyőzték a francia királynét, hogy küldje haza a nőket. Ez alapján úgy gondolhatjuk, hogy Nurbanuval jó viszonyban voltak. Nincs közvetlen bizonyíték a két nő viszonyára, valószínűleg tiszteletteljes viszony állt fenn köztük. Mihrimah lánya azonban Nurbanu ellenfelét, Safiye Haseki szultánát támogatta, ami felveti azt az eshetőséget is, hogy Mihrimah maga is Safiyét favorizálta Nurbanuval szemben.

Élete alkonya

Szelim 1574-ben elhunyt és fia Murad követte a trónon. Murad és Mihrimah viszonya nem ismert ám feltehetőleg Muradban is maradthatott tüske, amiért Mihrimah Bayezidet támogatta. Épp emiatt vannak akik úgy sejtik, hogy Mihrimah minden hatalmát elvesztette Murad uralkodása alatt. Valójában ez nem valószínű, hiszen Murad olyan magas fizetést adott Mihrimahnak, amilyet soha egyetlen birodalmi hercegnő sem kapott hasonló helyzetben. Mihrimah talán maga döntött úgy, hogy visszavonul. Szelim halálával egyedül maradt a családból, eddigre elveszítette négy testvérét, mindkét szülőjét, unokaöccseit, férjét és saját fiát is. Ennyi fájdalomtól megtörve valószínűleg nem érzett már késztetést, hogy politikával foglalkozzon. Útját lánya Ayşe Hümaşah folytatta, aki politikailag igen aktív volt.

Mihrimah 1578. január 25-én hunyt el a Régi Palotában. Murad szultán úgy döntött, hogy a hagyományokat (miszerint a szultánok egyedül nyugodtak türbéjükben) megtörve, Mihrimah szultánát édesapja mellé temetteti el. Halálával azonban vérvonala nem tűnt el, hiszen lánya által, leszármazottjai a 20. századig nyomonkövethetőek voltak, ám feltehetőleg napjainkban is élnek további cslaádtagok. Ők a Mihrumazadeler-ek.

Felhasznált források: L. Peirce - Empress of the east; L. Peirce - The imperial harem;  Y. Öztuna - Kanuni Sultan Süleyman; N. Sakaoğlu - Bu Mülkün Kadın Sultanları

[domina-noctisim-archive]

“Sesshōmaru, you could at least make an effort to not look like you hate to be here.”

His father’s voice had this uncanny ability to be both as sharp as a blade, yet warm like a gentle touch. It was a quality that his son had never been able to emulate. Not that he wished to, but a part of him wondered if in a few centuries he wouldn’t start to sound like that as well.

Sesshōmaru really hoped that wouldn’t be the case. Less than three centuries old, he was in the full, fiery stage of his ‘teenager’ life. His desire for rebelliousness and to detach from his parents grew stronger with each passing season.

This also came alongside a lot of attitude. “Should I not say the same of you, father?” He asked quietly, not turning his head to make eye contact. The two just stood beside one another, standing on the perimeter of the large ballroom with the rest of the nobility that had been invited to the debutante ball held in Austria that year.

Many daughters and sons of the most prominent families in the world had come of age this century, including Sesshōmaru himself. They had been invited, and accepted to come under insistence of his mother. He knew she was hoping he would be betrothed to someone here, to reinforce the family’s influence in their home country.

He also knew that his father absolutely loathed each and every person in this room. And in all likelyhood, the feeling was mutual amongst the guests. Rumors spread quickly... families who advocated amicable relations with humans were frowned upon by the most conservative aristocrats of this world.

And individuals who indulged beyond that, mixing their pureblood with the humans and tainting the purity of these lineages, were absolutely loathed. But this was the nobility, and even hatred turned into something a lot colder and passive-aggressive...

... Such as, inviting said individual to a debutante ball with the very intention to get his only offspring engaged to another pureblood. Sesshōmaru had figured this was all a very political ploy. By giving him a consort, the demon society would basically make a statement against his father, “Even if you mix your blood with humans, your legacy will not. Your obscene morals will be rectified by the new generation. Your effort will be in vain.”

He very much did not like being used as a political tool. Yet, he did not support his father’s choices either. Even though he had never actually been with a human woman, the mere fact that such rumors could surface meant that his contacts with the weaker species had been too many and too friendly as is. How long before these speculations became true?

“The Duke will not be happy with us leaving until you’ve at least given his first daughter a chance.” Tōga scoffed, hands clasped behind his back while he watched the dances with the same detached golden stare as his son. “I’m sure you’re aware, she’s been trying to make eye contact with you for the good part of the past half hour.”

It was true, Sesshōmaru had noticed. But he had absolutely no intention to touch that woman with any of his fingers. The formal european clothes he had been given to wear to match the ceremony were far too exquisite for that kind of filth.

“I have no interest in a succubus.”

“Then perhaps you should tell her.”

That made Sesshōmaru actually side glance with irritation at his sire. Under furrowing silvery brows, his eyes narrowed ever so slightly. “If you wish to cause a diplomatic incident, please do so yourself.”

“Your mother would forgive you. Me, on the other hand...” The Lord of the Western Lands exhaled softly, shaking his head. He was about to say more, when another aristocrat approached them to engage into what seemed a boring conversation.

Alone with his thoughts again, Sesshomaru returned to observe the many pairs dancing at the center of the room, struggling to not just turn around and leave. By pure accident, he happened to look in direction of the Duke’s daughters, all cooped on one side of the room, giggling and chatting, while their eldest still stared at him with greedy eyes.

...It was then that he noticed her. In the back, just past that group, was another girl. A deb just like them, judging by the gown she wore. Yet she was different... for one, she looked like she was just as bored as he were. The way she avoided to make eye contact with anybody, often glancing for the doors to escape that place, gave away her wish to leave.

Her appearance was eerie... she appeared so frail and weak compared to many others. One could almost mistake her for a human servant, were she not dressed like that. But others like him could tell more, just by the scent that came from her. Blood.

She was one of those creatures of the night, that many feared and respected here in Europe. One of the most powerful bloodlines still surviving.

That was when the idea clicked in his head, to cross the room, walk through that sea of swirling gowns and jingling jewels, to proceed past the succubus who craved him so much, and instead stop before this unknown young woman.

He didn’t need eyes behind the back of his head to know that the female he had just so boldly ignored was glaring in absolute shock and livid jealousy while he addressed the brunette.

“... Will you dance with me?” He asked, calmly offering his hand to her. @roleplay-abiogenesis2​

Seconds,    ticking    off    the    clock Counting,    down    to    when    I    walk It’s    easier    to    go    than    to    stay Just    me    watch    take    that    flicker    to    flame Sometimes,    things    aren’t    what    they    seem Reckless,    that’s    just    what    I    need I’m    sick    of    the    habitual    games So    I    won’t    play

╰⊱♥⊱╮╰⊱♥⊱╮    Dainty    appendages    danced    on    the    glass’s    rim,    displaying    some    apathy    she    felt.    Did    she    want    to    be    there?    No.    She    didn’t    like    that    kind    of    convention.    Bordeaux's    optics    glanced    everywhere    except    at    the    influential    persons    there.    Ai    was    attempting    to    find    an    escape.    The    environs    were    asphyxiating,    carnal    appetite    profaning    the    oxygen    she    breathed.    ❛Futile    beings.    ❜    Thought,    an    exhale    leaving    her    half-open    lips,    pleading    for    air.    The    only    thing    that    seemed    to    entertain    her    was    the    grotesque    performances    that    some    people    were    making    in    front    of    her.    Refusals,    body    language,    everything    was    worth    to    obtain    decent    nuptials.    

❝Why    don’t    you    attempt    to    meet    someone?    ❞    Kaname    inquired,    addressing    his    daughter    &    placing    a    palm    upon    her    shoulder.    ❝Do    you    really    think    I’m    going    to    find    a    spouse    here,    my    beloved    father?    ━━━━━    The    way    people    behave    nauseates    me,    besides,    no    one    seems    compelling    enough    to    enthrall    my    noble    attention.❞    Returned,    looking    at    the    luna    from    the    lattice    that    was    next    to    her.    What    if    she    jumps?    Run    freely    in    the    luminescence,    without    shackles    to    keep    her    there.    ❝I    understand,    but    I    have    faith    that    someone    will    prompt    your    curiosity.    ❞    The    King    asserted,    watching    the    salon    for    a    brief    instant.    ❝Are    you    going    to    compel    me    to    marry    someone    I    don’t    love?    ❞    No    one    could    fall    in    love    in    one    night.    Convenience    matrimonies    were    often    a    failure,    leading    to    the    unhappiness    of    many    families    despite    economic    prosperity    &    perks,    despite    the    dominions    that    were    formed.    ❝I’ll    not    force    you    to    do    anything.    I    just    ask    you    to    open    your    heart.    Love    arises    over    time,    but    you    have    to    start    somewhere.    ❞    The    monarch    left,    leaving    the    princess    submersed    in    some    meditation.

❝Absurdities!    How    will    I    find    someone    appealing    here?!    ❞    The    house    she    represented    had    a    stupendous    prominence    in    Europe,    so    her    appeal    &    symmetry    hadn’t    gone    unnoticed    in    that    chamber.    Some    tried    to    approach,    to    entice,    but    to    no    avail.    The    suitors’    interest    fell    only    in    her    status,    in    the    capital    &    the    imperium    her    family    had.    One    of    the    purest    breeds,    one    of    the    ancientest    families,    forebears    of    the    vampiric    race.    Who    wouldn’t    crave    a    wife    like    her?    Forever    young,    opulent,    knowledgeable,    magnetic,    heir    to    a    huge    LEGACY.    The    immortal    maiden    was    the    last    pureblood    vampire,    consequently,    Kaname    craved    to    unite    her    daughter    with    another    equally    pure    man,    hoping    to    preserve    &    fortify    the    power    of    his    own    lineage.    It’d    be    a    significant    advantage    for    both    sides.    Some    people    respected    her    clan,    others    defied    their    lethality    &    ended    up    dead,    others    feared    their    presence.    The    stratified    society    of    which    Ai    was    a    member    wasn’t    cohesive.    Purebloods    were    at    the    hierarchy’s    summit,    followed    by    aristocrats,    fruits    of    relationships    between    vampires    &    humans.    At    the    pyramid’s    end    were    common    vampires    &    level    E,    creatures    worthy    of    being    eradicated.    Often    pure-blood’s    plasma    was    employed    to    slaughter    such    beasts,    along    with    silver,    magnificent    weaponry.

Elegantly,    the    vampiress    sat    in    an    unused    chair.    Her    hues    were    now    crystallized    in    the    crimson    liquid    inside    her    cup.    She    waved    the    vessel    to    see    the    fluid    move.    It    looked    like    wine,    but    it    was    just    water    blended    with    a    powder    that    helped    to    assuage    her    appetite.    A    guest    interrupted    her    thoughts,    impatient    to    pursue    her.    She    could    inhale    his    intentions    miles    away.    ❝May    I    have    a    word    with    you    Ai-sama.    I’d    love    to    have    your    company.    I’m    sure    we’re    going    to    have    a    good    time.    ❞    Orbs,    now    flaming    red,    faced    the    audacious    individual.    ❝Your    tender    words    tell    me    nothing.    Your    presence    isn’t    craved    by    me.    ━━━━━    Please    leave    me    alone.    ❞    A    sharp    resonance    was    implemented.    An    endeavor    to    ward    him    off.    Dissatisfied    with    her    reply,    he    left    her    alone.

For    a    few    minutes,    the    immortal    tried    not    to    make    eye    contact    with    anyone.    Ai    didn’t    want    people    to    interrupt    her    peace    while    she    waited    for    the    event    to    end.    However,    her    attention    fell    on    a    person    who    seemed    to    walk    towards    her.    It    was    a    tall,    well-dressed    man    coveted    for    what    it    looked    like    some    women.    Young,    imposing    and    with    an    uncommon    nimbus.    Ai    wondered    who    he    was?    And    why    he    rejected    the    succubus.    Wasn’t    she    decent    enough?    Intriguing.    

Before    replying,    she    remained    hushed    for    a    while,    blinking    &    admiring    the    Dayokai    in    front    of    her.    His    amber    hues    possessed    so    much    MYSTICISM.    What    intention    did    he    have?    Should    she    reject    him    too?    Cerise    gaze    dropped    a    little,    glancing    at    his    clawed    palm,    while    ashen    digits    put    a    lock    of    hair    behind    her    dainty    ear.    The    sovereign    was    a    little    hesitant.    What    if    he    was    like    the    other    man?    Repugnant    &    vainglorious.    He    was    asking    her    to    dance,    something    that    no    one    had    done    since    she    got    there.

❝Hai,    I’ll    dance    with    you.❞    Soft,    mellifluous    timbre    broke    the    taciturnity    like    a    zephyr.    Gentle,    pale    palm    fell    smoothly    on    his.    His    dermis    was    so    hot    in    comparison    to    hers.    Ai    felt    a    little    envious.    ❝Take    me    with    you.❞    Added,    bowing    &    letting    her    locks    conceal    part    of    her    countenance.    She    had    nothing    to    lose.    With    splendour,    she    raised    her    grimace    again.    ❝Demo,    If    I    may    inquire,    why    did    you    reject    the    duke’s    daughter?    I    feel    she    might    try    to    kill    me    at    any    minute.    ❞    A    giggle    left    her    lips.    She    wasn’t    frightened    at    all.    Most    people    in    that    room    knew    what    she    was    capable    of.