#but then i had that moment in the shower and got kinda bummed cause damn i still am really into him

[timecrack]

little rant incoming

[seiyasabi]

Hunters vs Gatherers 3

(Here’s a Long awaited part three to my Yan Ushijima and Tendou x Girly Fem Reader story :)) I’m sorry for the wait, as there were some complications with the writing of this story. @kikyosamasblog and I came up with this installation of the story! The first part was written by her, but I completed it :)) Thank you for your patience. 

TW: !noncon/dubcon!, !cannibalism, choking!!, !violence/death (not reader), breeding!!, it’s kinda hardcore!, spanking!, Tendou is mean!, blood kink!, kinda body horror if u think ab it!!!, forced removal of birth control, !!medical malpractice,  no bodily autonomy, kidnapping, etc.. 

Please proceed with caution!)

It had been over two months since, well all that happened. You weren’t exactly content with your life but it could have been worse. For the most part, it’s been strange. . . but pleasant? Kiyoko was a comfort to be around even if her family were cannibals and consisted of lust-driven men but she made sure you weren’t abused or hurt in the slightest. This is why Satori hadn’t spent a single night alone with you. She made preparations so that Wakatoshi shared a room with you, even got a bigger bed so that the two of you would be comfortable. She also stayed true to her word, she didn’t force you to help outside but she did expect you to pull your weight inside which you did. Any skill you didn’t have previously she taught you and made sure they were perfected. As of now, you were helping her with dinner while the boys were outside working. 

“Ya add some of this, a lil of that, and yer done. Just wait till it boils, aight?” 

“Yes ma’am!” 

Satori stormed into the house, his complexion was a bit red no doubt from the scorching sun outside. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass. He poured himself some of the lemonade you’d made earlier before walking over to you. He took a sip, then slapped your ass causing you to yelp and touch your bum. 

“Not bad, Dolly.” 

“Please don’t do that-!” 

“Why the hell not? Yer my woman ain’t cha-OW! Ma!” 

“Shut yer mouth! She ain’t ya girl! You haven’t done a single thing to prove ya deserve her, ya hear! So get back to work!” 

Satori grumbled and put his glass down, mumbling something under his breath as he left the house. 

“What was that boy?!” 

“N-nuthin’!” 

“Thank you ma’am. . .” 

“Call me ma, seeing as how yer a part of  ‘dis family.” 

“Thank you. . .ma.” 

“Anyway, yer coming with me tomorrow.” 

“Where?” 

“Town. I need to get sum’ things. Besides, a change of place might do ya some good.” 

You smiled! This could be a great opportunity to escape, that is if it’s just you. You didn’t think much of it, showing too much emotion and she would be suspicious of you. 

“O-Of course!” 

“An’ stop being so damn nervous. I don’t bite,” 

“Right. . .” 

Fate had aligned itself perfectly. Surely tomorrow, you’d be a free woman. After dinner, you helped wash the plates. A hand grabbed you the moment you were done, it was Wakatoshi. No doubt eager to take you to your shared room and fuck you senseless. 

“Wait-!” 

“Not tonight, Wakatoshi. I’m taking her to town tomorrow and I need her to walk straight.” 

That single comment made you want to die, but she wasn’t wrong. You could barely feel your legs in the morning as it was! 

Wakatoshi nodded, he led you to the room where you’d get ready for bed and nothing more. Kiyoko, however, stayed behind to look at the calender. There wasn’t much written down, but she had excellent memory. From what she gathered and your belongings that she went through before handing them to Satori who then handed them to you, you were well prepared for this trip you were taking. Important documents that you figured they’d ask for your identity of course. Just what she needed for tomorrow. You were sitting down on your bed when Wakatoshi came out of the bathroom. Fully showered and ready to sleep, 

“I think it’s nice.” 

“Hm?” 

“Nice yer’ getting along with Ma. I thought you’d be difficult but I guess not.” 

“O-Oh, well thank you. Your mom is really nice, Wakatoshi.” 

“She is, but she can be real scary sometimes. Best not to anger her, know what I mean?” 

“Right, of course.” 

“Night, darlin’.” 

Waktoshi leaned to give you a kiss, wrapping his arms around you. Freedom was so close tomorrow, that much was certain. 

~ 

When you awoke that morning, you did what was expected. Kiyoko was already up and awake, starting on breakfast. 

“Morning. . .Ma.” 

“Mornin’ girl, c’mon. I just started.” 

Breakfast was simple to make but time consuming. Since Satori and Wakatoshi worked outside most of the time lifting and doing ‘hard labor’ you’d cook more than normal. Breakfast consisted of eggs, sausages (one that you were staying clear of since it was homemade), and toast. Nothing too over the top, just a typical white breakfast. Wakatoshi and Satori both came down after a while. They were eating their meal when Kiyoko announced her plans. 

“How long?” 

“Just a couple hours, I’ll be taking her with me, need help with the groceries.” 

“If you need help we can go with ya, ma.” 

“Nah, y’all gonna stay here and work. Make sure you take care of the house and yer chores, make sure no one wanders and snoops. Last thing I want to deal with are some wandering peepers getting a lil too close to our house.” 

Nodding, they both retreated. You were dressed in a cute sundress and white shoes, the dress was recommended by Kiyoko herself. She was wearing normal clothes, nothing too over the top. Seeing as how you were going to the city, Kiyoko wanted you to dress up. 

‘Shame, all these cute lil’ dresses and skirts but you don’t wear dem.’ 

“Let’s get going hun, we need to hurry up! We can’t be late.” 

“Oh, is there somewhere we need to be?” 

“All the fresh produce gets put out early, if we arrive late all the good stuff gets taken.” 

“Of course!” 

You walked over to her pick up truck, it wasn’t anything fancy but it wasn’t in shambles either. The seats were clean at least. She started it up and off she drove into town. The drive was a little over half an hour but the scenery was pleasant. Since the town was modernized most of the dirt and dry land was cleaned up to look nice. When you arrived into town and at the local grocery store, Kiyoko taught you how to check for freshness. 

“Feel this? It’s hard as a rock, it ain’t ready yet but this is too soft so it’s already bad. This one is good. Not too soft and not too hard. Understand?” 

“Yes ma’-ma!” 

After an hour at the store, Kiyoko managed to get plenty of food to last them for some time. After that, she went into a convenience store that held other non-food items such as toiletries, hygiene products, etc. Afterward, Kiyoko was driving somewhere else, a tall white building with the words, ‘Medical Center’ inscribed. 

“What are we going here for?” 

“Seeing as how yer gonna be staying with us from now on, I need to enroll you here. In a small town like ‘dis, we like to keep things simple and clean.” 

“Enroll? U-um exactly what does that mean?” 

Panic was spreading, your well kept secret quickly being uncovered without much thought. 

“Ya needa physician, ‘specially if ya get pregnant with ma grandchildren,” She gives an uncharacteristic smile at that, grabbing you roughly by the arm, and dragging you towards the chipped double doors. 

“Oh, um, I’m sure I’m fine-“ 

“Naw, we gotta make sure yer in workin’ condition, girl. Don’t be startin’ a fight with me,” Kiyoko all but kicks one of the doors open, dragging you to an uncaring secretary at a too large desk. 

“Good mornin’, how can I help y’all?” The woman drones as if you were bothering her, eyes looking anywhere but the two of you. 

“Now, don’t you get smart with me, Keari. Ya know why I’m here,” Kiyoko holds up your arm, giving it a good shake, “Ma wonderful boy found himself quite the catch, and we needa make sure she’s in tip-top shape.” 

The secretary sighs, “Of course. Do ya have her documents?” 

Kiyoko whips out a folder from her cross-body bag, slamming it onto the counter with a loud smack, “This good enough for ya?” 

“Tell yer girl that she needs’ta do her own paperwork,” She grumbles, shoving a pile of paperwork in your direction. 

You, with one hand, scramble to grab the messy pile, along with the folder containing your information, causing Kiyoko to laugh, “Jus’ do it here, ain’t no reason ta move.” 

Deciding to heed her words, you grab a random pen from the desk, and begin to fill out your personal information. You had to ask Kiyoko about the address, causing the secretary to raise an unimpressed eyebrow, but besides that, the rest of the paperwork was standard procedure.

Within the next fifteen minutes, an old woman stumbled out of the back, a fake looking nurse following close behind her, “Remember, Gladys! Ya need ta drink at least three glasses of water a day, ‘Kay? Can’t have ya bein’ dehydrated again.” 

“Don’t sass me, harlot. I know what you be doin’ after hours, and I don’ need ya tellin’ me what to do,” The nurse looks mortified, but doesn’t say anything, allowing the old woman to leave. 

Clearing her throat once the doors finally close, the nurse turns towards you and Kiyoko, fake smile straining, “Alrighty ladies, y’all ready fer yer exam?” You nod, standing up, expecting Kiyoko to stay seated, only for her to stand up with you. The nurse raises an eyebrow, “Kiyoko, there’s no need ta follow tha girl, I’m sure she’ll be fine.” 

Kiyoko waves her off, “Naw, (Your name) gets nervous ‘round doctors,” The nurse looks towards you, and you quickly nod. You don’t want to cause problems with the scary woman. 

“Whatever y’all say- follow me,” She leads you to the back, getting your height and weight out in the hallway between empty examination rooms. Once that information is taken, she brings you to an empty room towards the back. She gets your temperature, checks your blood pressure, and asks about your previous medical history. 

When all is done, she leaves, telling you that the doctor should see you shortly. 

Kiyoko watches you like a hawk all the while, taking in all your information without a hitch. She stares at you like you’ll disappear into thin air, making you shift uncomfortably. 

“Now, ya know better than ta make me look like a fool, right?” You nod in response, fiddling with your fingers out of anxiety. She still eyes you in disapproval, before dropping it, “Alright, better not let me down.” 

At the moment, a knock rings through the empty room, before opening in mere moments. A young man steps in, his glasses crooked on his nose, hair going every which way, “Good mornin’, I’m doctor Johnson, and I’ll be helping y’all today.” 

He closes the door behind him, and you and Kiyoko greet him. He sets your file down on the counter across of you, before shaking your hand. He nods in the direction of your unwanted mother-in-law, before sitting on a rolling chair close to your knee. 

“Alright, I’m gonna ask ya some questions, and do a few exams, that good with ya?” You nod, and he takes off his stethoscope. He places the earpieces in his ears, before practically grabbing you by the shoulders and pressing the listening piece to your chest. 

His tests are normal, checking your stomach, eyes, ears, etc.. But, the moment he asks you to take off your shirt, Kiyoko steps in. 

“Why she gotta do that? No lady likes bein stared at,” He gives an awkward chuckle, scratching the back of his neck. 

“I gotta make sure she ain’t got breast cancer, and I also need to make sure her vagina is healthy after that. It ain’t too bad, especially since you’re here with her.” 

Kiyoko eyes him wearily, as you practically piss yourself. He can’t give you a vaginal exam! She’ll know about your birth control! 

“Please don’t do the vaginal exam- that’s a bit too much.” 

He sighs, unconvinced, “I ain’t ever seen ya before, sugar. I gotta make sure you’re all good,” You pale, as Kiyoko pats you on the shoulder reassuringly. 

“You’ll be fine darlin’, he ain’t gonna do nothin’ nefarious, mama’s right here.” 

That didn’t make you feel better. 

The breast exam goes well, no lumps or anything. But, when the vaginal exam begins, the man whips out stirrups. And a speculum. 

“Please pull up yer skirt, I’ll make the exam quick,” You want to throw up, but stay strong. You grab the skirt of your sundress, exposing your white panties. You pull them down your legs, your coochie on full display. The doctor helps you put your feet in the stirrups, before spreading your legs at the knee. He grabs gloves, pulling them on with a bit of a struggle, before grabbing medical grade lube, and squirting a bunch into your opening. Shoving the stirrups in, he doesn’t give a moment to let you adjust, before he opens it ups completely, exposing your cervix and IUD string to everyone in the room. 

He nods in understanding, “Yer cervix looks good, I’ll add onto yer file that ya have an IUD.” 

“What’s an IUD?” Kiyoko asks from her seat, eying you wearily. 

“It’s a type of birth control,” The silence in the room is deafening, as an unreadable expression covers her entire face. 

“Ah, now I see why ya haven’t been gettin’ pregnant,” She jokes, but you can hear the bite in her tone, “Aren’t you and Wakatoshi tryin’ fer a baby?” You pause for a moment, before giving a small nod. 

“Yes, Ma. I was gonna ask him to remove it,” The young doctor looks giddy, as he practically claps with excitement. 

“Alright! I ain’t never did this before, but-“ He yanks the damn thing out without a second thought, causing you to scream out in pain. Beads of blood start to drip from your cervix, as tears dot your eyes. Even Kiyoko looks mildly disturbed by the sight, “Looks like yer all good. You ladies have a nice day!” 

That had to have been medical malpractice. Getting the damn thing in was a feat in itself, requiring multiple medical instruments. The man clearly had no idea how he was supposed to remove it. 

“Wait a damn minute,” The flighty male stops, confused by Kiyoko’s sudden anger, “What did ya just do? She ain’t s’posed to be bleedin’ like that, right? Did ya just put her at risk fer miscarryin’ in the future?” Not bothering to listen to their conversation any longer, you curl practically rip the speculum from inside of you (which the man, in his excitement forgot to take out), and haphazardly yank your white panties back on, a few beads of blood dotting the previously pristine fabric. Shoving down your dress, you try to stand up, but find your legs too weak to hold yourself up. You grab the table you were previously on, trying to stop yourself from falling, causing Kiyoko to look away from the doctor, and rush to help you. You knew that she was probably pissed off, but it seems her rising anger is currently directed at the medical professional in front of you. 

“Now look at ‘er! The girl can’t stand on her own damn feet!” She has your arm around her shoulder, allowing you to rest your weight against her with a small grunt, “Ya’ll will hear from my boy about this.” 

With that, she, and by association, you, stormed out of the doctor’s office. You can feel blood drip down your inner thighs, as tears dot your perfectly lined eyes. Your dress is going to be ruined and your uterus feels like it was ripped from your body. 

Kiyoko helps you into the truck, muttering about ‘ignorant ass assholes.’ You buckle yourself in with shaking hands, your skin paler than your normal (skin colour). 

Once your unwanted mother-in-law hops into the vehicle, you both dart off at a high speed. She’s constantly glancing at you, a stern look on her face, “Now, look what ya did to yerself! If ya only let yer body take its natural course, ya wouldn’t be feelin’ like death. Think about this consequence before ya ever do somethin’ this stupid again!” 

You’re crying by this point, tears of self pity and pain rolling down your pretty face. Your fingers fiddle with the truck door’s lock, your mind drifting to the idea of jumping out of the moving vehicle. Seemingly knowing where your mind is going, Kiyoko smacks you on the thigh, jarring you from your thoughts. 

“If ya jump outta this truck, I’ll make sure Satori does something unspeakable to ya. He’s already goin’ ta be given the ok to have his way with ya as punishment, don’t make me give him free reign.” 

Those words cause dread to settle deep into your bones, making you want to throw a full blown tantrum like a child. It’s one bad thing after another- you should’ve never left your home and gone on this trip. You should’ve never split up from your friends, and you should’ve never allowed them to take you alive. 

“Wha-what is he going to do?” Kiyoko is silent for a moment, before she responds in a blunt tone of voice. 

“He’s gonna have his turn with ya, try fer a baby,” This causes you to release a full blown sob, which she shushes harshly, “If ya wanted to be treated well, ya should’ve let Wakatoshi get ya pregnant. I’m sure he’ll fergive ya after Satori has his turn, but ya need to learn from yer mistakes.” 

The fright and pain causes you to fall asleep for the rest of the ride home, only to be roused by a large hand shaking you. Wakatoshi looks like he’s seen a ghost, as he stares down at your bloody lower half. The white dress you wore is completely saturated with your blood, both dried and wet against your skin. He unbuckles you and pulls you into his arms, rushing you into the family home. Satori is seen carrying all your grocery bags at once, face filled with a sadistic glee. 

“Mama told us what happened,” Waka tenses a bit when his brother speaks, but he continued to cradle you like you’re made from glass, “Ya should be glad that she’s not allowin’ me ta do what I want. If I had it my way I’d-“ 

“Stop talking,” Your green haired lover shuts the red head up, bringing you inside the farmhouse and setting you on the kitchen table. He flips up the skirt of your dress, eyes pouring over your ruined panties. Running two fingers against your pussy, he grunts in alarm at the warm blood on his fingers, “Why’d ya do it? Why’d ya let them put that… thing in ya?” 

You aren’t sure what he wants you to say, but you decide to be honest, “I don’t feel good when I’m on my period, so I wanted to stop it for a while. I also didn’t want to risk pregnancy if I ever had sex.” 

His eyes narrow at your words, his strong hands gripping at the fat of your thighs, “Children are a gift,” You flinch when he leans forward, his entire frame practically swallowing you whole, “I forgive ya for what ya did, but I ain’t gonna stop Satori from what he’s gonna do. Ya need to be punished.” 

You start to cry again, but he says nothing, only wiping away your tears with a fond look on his face. 

“I’ll be there when he’s done, ‘nd I’ll clean ya up,” With that, he releases you, before walking towards Satori, who just came inside with all the bags. 

“Feel free ta put the groceries away- my dolly needs ta be taught a lesson,” He sets the goods down on the kitchen table near you, before grabbing you (by your hair/by the neck of your dress) and dragging you up the stairs to his room. Your feet are barely able to touch the ground, as you're practically lifted off the floor by his harsh grip. 

Once you reach his room, he chucks you on the floor, as you let out a scream of pain. Your stomach ended up hitting a random shoe lying on the ground, causing more blood to rush out of your bleeding cunny. 

“Now, where should I start? Should I fuck yer throat till it’s raw? Fuck yer ass dry?” He laughs at your sobbing, grabbing you harshly by the shoulder and slamming you onto his bed, “Naw, I’ll just fuck a baby inta yer undeservin’ womb. A lil baby for my lil dolly will set ya straight.” 

He shucks your dress off of your boneless body, leaving your bare breasts and bloody panties before his perverted eyes. Satori immediately yanks on your nipples, pulling pained cries from your lips, as you try to swat him away. In retaliation, he bites down on the side of your neck, easily drawing blood, along with another scream. He laughs at your pain, ripping your panties off of your body, and reaching down to pull out his cock. 

“I know my freak of a brother prolly stretched ya out,” he smacks your pussy, causing a yelp to fall from your lips, “So I ain’t gonna warm ya up, dolly. I need ya as tight as possible.” 

With that, he shoves your legs open, and forces his thick cock into your unready cunny. You scream at the stretch, trying to push against him as he pushes his head into your chest, pulling at your nipples with his teeth. His hips slam into yours at a breakneck pace, the head of his cock slamming into your wounded cervix, practically opening you up from the inside. You try slap at him, only causing him to laugh and slap you across the face. 

“Keep hittin’, and I’ll concuss ya so badly all ya will be good for is an incubator,” Your body is wracked with your sobs, as you practically choke on air. He does not let up for even a moment, his thrusts practically forcing your body farther up the bed. 

The red head continues to bite and suck at your tender skin, leaving blood trains in his wake. His and your thighs are covered with your blood, as the man above you relishes your warmth and tight cunt. 

“I wonder if ya can get any tighter,” his hand suddenly grasps your throat, squeezing as tightly as he can without killing you. You’re gasping for air, as your pussy tightens up in your fear. He grunts and laughs in your ear, as he fucks into you even harsher than before, “Fuck yea! Yer so fuckin’ tight! I should’ve done this minutes ago!” 

Your vision has black dots, as you claw at his hand, trying to regain your breath. He releases a bit, allowing you to gain a few greedy gasps of air, before he goes back to choking you out. Because of your clamping, he ends up hitting your gspot with ease, causing sprays of squirt to gush from your pussy. He slaps at your clit, causing you to clamp down even more, as he bucks into you with one last thrust, his cock head practically bursting through your cervix, as he cums a load so massive, that you feel like you’re bloated. 

You can’t breathe, you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe! He refused to let go, as he allows your walls to milk him for all he has. 

When he doesn’t let go, you slump over, losing consciousness. 

Tendou pulls out with a sigh, a ghastly grin on his face. He slowly releases your bruising throat, entire being content with brutalising your pretty face and body, only the realise that you don’t seem to be breathing. 

He jolts, not knowing what to do. Satori tucks his cock inside of his trousers, as he runs to get Wakatoshi, who happened to be standing right outside, his face showing his barely contained rage. 

“Waka, I did somethin’ bad. She-she ain’t breathin’-“ The large man shoves the red head aside, rushing into the room, eyes immediately landing on your still form. 

Grabbing up your boneless body, he lays you on the floor, laying his head on your chest, trying to hear your heart beat. Luckily, he finds it. It’s faint, but it’s there. He moves you into your side, having read in a comic that that opens up the airway. He rubs your back, trying to help your blood circulate, but not knowing how. 

“Yer a monster, Satori,” Wakatoshi grunts, eyes teary and body trembling, “I will never let ya near her again. This is beyond punishment, and she don’t deserve it.” 

Kiyoko peeks into the room, a scream leaving her lips at the sight of your battered form. She falls back, her spine hitting the door frame. Her hands cover her mouth, as she can only stare down at your still form, “What did ya do? Wh-why did you-? Oh God,” Without another word, she rushes from the room. 

“Get the fuck out,” Wakatoshi grunts out, tears dripping down his face “Animals belong in the barn.” 

[pogueswrld]

*•.¸♡ perpetual booms ♡¸.•*

pairing: jj maybank x fem!muslim!Arab! reader

summary: moving out of New York seemed to be a good idea to y/n's parents, thinking that moving to a small island was much better and safer after the incident. She was proven wrong anyway.

warnings: language, school shooting, death, unresolved trauma, spiraling mental health, mentions of a hot shower (I think that categorizes under self harm?? Idk), fear of loud noises, panic attack, mutual pinning, jj likes reader and he's not ashamed to admit it, 'I wish you were sober' moment, 'who did this to you' trope, the pouges being completely oblivious to reader's trauma and jj apologizing for triggering her. unedited :)

note: okay so I made this with an incredibly detailed idea of the reader but please feel free to adjust it to whichever way you want, it can also be poc!reader cuz I never mentioned reader looks but don't pm me telling me that you don't like the idea or the writing of it or the concept overall I really dgaf what you think :) anyway!! this was kinda intense 🧍‍♀️ HELP I WROTE SOME SCENES THEN I GOT A BIT CARRIED AWAY.... smfh

This whole thing was inspired by the movie 'the fallout' I 100% recommend watching.I am grateful to have never experiencing a school shooting seeing that I am not American but if I portray anything wrongfully please tell me, I would love to be educated on the matter :)

The weather was the first indicator of how the day would go, with the sun completely gone from the sky are massive clouds floating about carrying forming water droplets, y/n knew she was going to have her mood bummed out.

First of all, it was windy. Which meant she was going to have to wear a cotton hijab and a shitton of bobby pins to secure it in place. Secondly, she's probably going to have to walk to school, which is awful as it is.

With a sigh, she walks away from the window in her bedroom, making sure the curtains cover the glass before changing into her outfit for the day.

She was wearing a long-sleeved black turtle neck and matching cargo pants, an ivy green button-up over the long-sleeve shirt to cover her chest and she made sure to tuck the ends of her hijab into the shirt and use bobby pins to secure it to her clothes just to make sure it doesn't get in the way── or so people don't try to tug it off her head.

She wears silver jewelry to add a simple touch to her look before grabbing her bag and making it down the stairs to meet up with her parents in the kitchen.

They seemed to be in a rush, and that was all the confirmation she needed about walking to school.

"Morning," Her mother greeted her, she too was in her hijab, and she looked like an older version of y/n. She sips on her coffee as y/n father smiles at his daughter, "Ready to go?"

y/n hums, grabbing a vegan energy bar from the cabinet before stashing it in her bag. "Will one of you be driving me?" she already knew the answer, but she didn't want them to worry.

Her mother tilts her head apologetically, "I'm so sorry sweetheart, I got this deal with a landlord on a house off the coast and let's just hope everything goes smoothly." she rolls her eyes, y/n had no doubt it's the same guy that claimed her mother tried to 'burn down the house' he had put up for sale, ridiculous.

"Dad?" she tried not to sound too hopeful, but her voice betrays her. "Sorry kid, I gotta drive your mom to her office and get to work, we're already running late 'cause she doesn't want to finish the damn coffee."

Y/n shakes her head and giggles at their banter, then she's pressing a kiss to their cheeks before heading out the door. "Do you have your pepper spray on you?" Her mother calls out just as she reaches the door, "Yes, I also have my teaser. I'm gonna be fine mom, I promise. Love you!"

"Love you too! Be careful."

────────────────────────────

y/n was scared shitless. It was like all the civilians of New York choose today to go out and about like it's not six am on a damned Tuesday.

One of the main things the hijabi girl dispised about living in America, in general, was the fact that she's unable to walk down the street without feeling a stranger's eyes pour into her figure, either in curious stares or hateful glares, it didn't matter.

She manages to keep to herself though, her eyes never making eye contact and always looking sharp. She never stopped for anything and didn't check her phone as it dings with notifications from her friends. She couldn't afford the luxury of walking freely like everyone else.

Another thing y/n hated was school. She genuinely believed that she was better off without and the only reason she was attending in the first place is just to see her friends. That's kind of sad but it's the truth, she's never been allowed to see them anywhere other than school. It's one of her parents' many, many rules.

Her shoulders relax when the educational building comes to view and she hurries towards the entrance, eager to get off the dangerous New York streets.

She's twenty minutes early to the first class bell, so she makes it to her locker and pulls out the notebooks and textbooks she would need for her first three classes, it makes it a lot easier for her this way, she gets to spend more time with her friends and less time roaming the halls by herself.

When she closes her locker a familiar friendly face meets her with a grin and she had to gasp to bite down a squeal of surprise. Her best friend, Viola, laughs loudly and shamelessly at her and y/n rolls her eyes at her. "How many times do I have to tell you to stop doing that!"

"You still make that face!" the brunette girl cackles and y/n breathes a light chuckle, her hand slightly nudging Viola's shoulder in a teasing matter.

"So, what are you doing later today?" Viola asks as she pulls on her bag's straps and y/n sends her an exaggerated stare, "Really?" Viola purses her lips and holds back another laugh, "Right. Okay well, how about this? I come over tonight and we can study for that chemistry quiz coming up next Friday, yeah?"

y/n only shrugs, "Sure, why not?" the girls share a brief hug before separating ways to their assigned classes, promising to meet in between classes to walk to their next shared class.

────────────────────────────

y/n hated it when classes dragged on, and she hated it even more when the teacher kept repeating the same part of the lesson over and over again. She felt like her head was about to explode from boredom.

With a deep silent sigh, the girl pressed on her black pen and sketched a little spider web to the top corner of the textbook's page, she was so focused on it that when the paper that rested on her table came into view, it took her completely by surprise.

Her head shot up to the general direction it came from and her eyes met those of Avron Blake, the captain of the athlete team, and he smiles at her with a slight wave of his hand. She doesn't respond, only glances back down to the paper and sees her name written on it in awful handwriting.

Her hand clutches around the piece of paper, crumbling it into her fists and she brings it below the table, she quickly opens it and her eyes scan the words and then she's quickly crumbling it back into a ball and stashing it within the drawer in her desk.

You got my homework?

She doesn't meet his eyes for the rest of the period, and when the bell rings she's bolting out of the class before he manages to corner her or catch up with her.

Y/n had no recollection of ever agreeing to do Avron Blake's homework for him, so she guesses that Viola got in trouble with him again and she promised him that y/n would do his homework for him. Even though Viola never told her about that.

she sees her best friend by her locker and she's pursing her lips at her with a mean glare, "You told Avron I'd be doing his homework for him?" realization quickly flashes behind Viola's eyes followed by guilt, "Oh my God, did he talk to you? Y/n I am so sorry-"

"You can't keep doing this Viola!" y/n groaned, her eyes repeatedly glancing down the corridor to see if Avron or his group of jocks would chase her down or not. "I know, I'm sorry! I didn't tell you about it because I did his homework, I just wasn't expecting him to actually talk to you about it." Viola holds up a stack of four or so pages in her hand as she smiles apologetically at her best friend.

Still pouting, y/n shakes her head at the girl. "Whatever, give it to him before he comes back hunting my ass down for this shit."

"Yes ma'am."

Viola walks down the corridor and y/n rolls her eyes, then she's going through her bag as she heads for her second class of the day.

She pauses outside the cafeteria door when she realizes her physics notebook is not in her bag and y/n squeezes her eyes shut in annoyance before sending a silent curse in Viola's name. Throwing her head back in an exaggerated sigh, the girl looks into the cafeteria to catch glimpses of kids who are already in their spare classes. A slight twinge of jealousy erupts through her and y/n presses her lips together into a thin line.

Then she hears it, right from within the room, she was looking into right now. A loud bang echoes through the halls and everyone freezes for a moment, "What the fuck was that?" it was a simple question passed between them, and then another bang erupts and someone starts screaming somewhere.

The confusion that filled her was quick to wash off when y/n realizes just exactly what it was. There was a guy in the cafeteria, and he was holding up a gun. He repeatedly pulled at the trigger and she could see the kids flying out the doors as some others bled on the floor. Her mind raced and her body froze, but as the kids pushed out of the door in front of her, she was encouraged to run down the same corridor she just came through.

Remembering that Viola was also walking down this exact hall, y/n's face paled. She frantically looks around and calls out for her best friend, but then another bang comes from somewhere nearer. Except for the ones at the cafeteria never stopped.

Her heart stops when she realizes; there was more than one guy.

The reality of the situation was extremely difficult to grasp, and y/n struggled to breathe as an injured kid crawled back to the hall she stood in in hopes of hiding from his murderer. Tears roll down her face as her entire body trembled and a soft clank from the door beside her made her jump.

The shots from the hallway grow closer and y/n was certain this was her end. She was going to die here, in school, in the hallway, at the hands of a boy that couldn't possibly be any older than she was. But her body moves quickly as it jitters, and it pulls open the door to the room before pulling it closed behind her. She made sure to close it as quietly as possible and then click the lock on it.

Whoever she was stuck with now was going to have to bare her broken-down presence.

When she looks behind her at her hiding spot companion, y/n almost wishes she never came in. But then the thought disappears as quickly as it forms because a choked sob makes it out of her throat and she muffles it with her hand.

It was Viola, on the floor, with tears running down her face and her hands holding onto her torso, her clothes and floor and body covered with the crimson liquid that once gave her life, now draining her of it.

"Oh, my God? oh my God. Oh God- Viola?" Her voice represents the state of her mind and body, it felt like the whole building was shaking, but it was actually just y/n's entire body. From her wobbling legs to her heaving gasping chest, the teenager swallows whatever noise threatens to come out of her throat as she kneels beside her best friend, the girl that stood beside her through thick and thin, her best friend. Her only friend.

She has no idea what to do. As her mind blanks out and every rational thought escapes her, y/n is left to cradle the girl and whisper sweet lies into her forehead as the shots ceased and the screams quieten, until sirens fill the air and orders were given.

y/n keeps a hold on Viola as they get pulled out of the room and into safety, she keeps a hold on her best friend as people in blue try to talk to her, as the warm welcome embrace of her mother and father engulfs her and tries to soothe her, but it didn't matter.

It didn't matter because y/n had witnessed the life in her best friend's eyes disappear as she lay in her arms, her ears still ringing from the gunfire and horrifying screams of kids dying or being shot at left and right, of the gasps and cries of Viola as she took her last breathes.

y/n got so overwhelmed that nothing mattered anymore.

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Whatever happened after she was pulled out of the janitor's closet was a complete blur to y/n, she doesn't remember being separated from Viola, she doesn't remember anyone trying to talk to her, she doesn't remember her mother's relieved cries or her father's thankful's embrace. She doesn't remember making it home or getting clean off the blood that was stuck to her like a second skin, but she does remember laying in bed, staring at the ceiling of her bedroom as everything came crashing down onto her like waves of anguish, one furious roll after another pushing her under.

Her chest clenches and she wants to scream, she wants to cry and hyperventilate and tear out her hair, she wants to cut through his throat and pull the gun's trigger, making him feel exactly what her best friend felt in her last moments of this earth beside her, in her arms.

Instead, she lays awake at night, the familiarity of her sheets itching disgustingly at her skin but she doesn't move, she lets the uncomfortableness sink within her as a single tear rolls down the side of her face.

Her mind was hazy, still unable to completely process the traumatic events inflicted upon her when Viola's mother came knocking at their door two weeks later. She was broken. An absolute wreck as she did her best to put words together that meant an invitation for her family to attend Viola's funeral and memorial.

When her mother told her about it, y/n blinked at her. And it was the first emotion she's seen in her daughter in three days. Her mother almost burst into tears right there, but the quiver of y/n lip told her that this wasn't the time for her feelings, it was a chance for her daughter to display some of her own.

"Y/N? Sweetheart, are you alright?"

Suddenly realizing that Viola, —sweet, radiant, lively, lovely Viola— is dead had y/n glancing down at her hands. It's like she can still feel the dried blood on her hands, damping her clothes, she can still hear her silent cries and dying gasps, she can feel her warmth disappear and her heart freezing.

y/n's chest is heaving and her mother is near tears again, she sits beside her daughter and pulls her closer to her chest as she cries and sobs through the night.

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y/n wishes she could say that attending Viola's funeral gave her some sort of closure, but if anything it fueled her already distraught state.

She stood beside Viola's mother, giving hugs to condolence women and shaking the hands of absolute strangers, people sympathizing with the family and sending pitty stares to the girl in the hijab after learning that the girl in the coffin died in her arms.

It was hell, absolute torture, and when she was offered the chance to leave and go home, y/n didn't hesitate.

Sitting at the dinner table with her parents couldn't be more awkward, not like she even noticed. They share worrisome glances with each other as y/n pushes her food around her plate absentmindedly, and when she was tired of it, she gets up to seclude herself in her room.

They don't move, they don't speak, they just hold hands and pray that their daughter will find a way to come back to them somehow, someday.

The shower water was burning, steam flowing in the bathroom and fogging up the mirror, y/n doesn't seem to notice, or maybe she does but she chooses to ignore it. She's sitting on the ground, her knees pressed to her chest as best as she could, the hot droplets meeting her bare back causing her skin to turn a painful red, but she doesn't mind it.

She's grown accustomed to the emptiness within her, within her chest and her mind, the four walls of her bedroom are all she's comfortable with and she realizes that every time she leaves the front door of her house, there's a silent prayer leaving her lips, one that she repeats at least five times a day with each Salah.

She's fully aware that this isn't something praying would fix, it's not something she can manifest away, so she was stuck in this repetitive loop of feeling everything, crying, then immediately going numb.

It was better than feeling absolutely nothing all of the time.

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A few days later, y/n knew something was up with her parents when all they did was share glances and drink their coffee in silence.

They were generous enough to allow her to not go back to school immediately, but she knew it was coming up eventually. It had already almost been a month and the only time she ever left the house was when she was taking out the trash or for Viola's funeral. Every day other than that was spent in her bedroom.

She puts down her mug of fresh juice and folds her arms, "What is it?" she asks, her arm movement causing the hijab thrown carelessly over her head to expose a bit of her tied-up hair. She pulls the fabric over her head again and keeps a steady stare at her parents, her face completely emotionless.

Her mother was the first to open her mouth then close it, then open it again. "Your dad and I have been thinking—"

"No. I'm not going back to school."

Her dad shakes his head, "No of course not honey, that's not what we wanted to talk to you about." He glances at her mother and gives her a meaningful stare and she sighs, placing her mug on the table.

"Your father and I wanted to tell you that we... Are moving."

The news didn't seem to faze her, she simply blinked and furrowed her eyebrows, "To where?"

y/n's mother holds her daughter's shoulders and smiles softly at her, "Remember that deal I told you about? With the mean landlord?"

The teenager hums and her mother grins, "I got it and we bought it, it's a little house, perfect for the three of us, away from New York. What do you think?"

The girl shrugs, "Okay but where?"

"On a little island in North Carolina, Outer Banks. Life seems to be pretty cheap there and you get to be away from... All of this mess." his finger carelessly points at their house.

Very aware of the fact that she doesn't really have much of a choice as they've already made up their minds and started preparing for the move, y/n nods. She tries to pass it off as a happy nod, but truly she feels nothing, she just wants to give them a bit of peace of mind.

She had another nightmare that night, except it was one of the shootings instead of Viola this time. Her heart hammered within her chest as her lungs begged her to breathe, her hand slamming against her mouth to muffle whatever screams wanted to escape her to not wake up her parents as tears pricked at the corner of her eyes.

Nightmares were a reoccurring event but it was completely out of y/n's control, so all she could be go to bed and pray that she makes it through the night without having to scream or better yet, not have to wake up at all.

At least in this dream, she wasn't the one left to the very end to die.

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Outer Banks was so much different than New York, y/n's first giveaway was the humid weather that caused her to wheeze with each step she took further into the island.

The house her mother managed to get for them was small, it was built more like a cabinet, with three bedrooms and a bathroom, a kitchen, and a small living room. It was very different than the large two-story house she's lived in New York, but it'll have to do.

The bedroom her parents assigned for her was already furnished, with a soft earth colors theme and a white bed, y/n presses her lips together when she realizes that it doesn't make a difference to her.

It's truly upsetting, she wished she was more excited, she wished she was at least a bit upset that her desk wasn't the same color as the shelves on her wall, she wished she was embarrassed about the stuffed animals decorating her bed, but she really felt nothing at all.

Putting on a forced, fake smile, the girl walks back out to her parents and gives them the most enthusiastic thumbs-up she could master.

Another thing she's been so off about is hugging or touching anyone, especially those she cares about. She hasn't been able to bring herself to hug or leave a kiss to either one of her parents so she settled on distant approval.

"Can I check out the beach?" It was right in front of the house, y/n counts it as a perk. New York didn't have beaches, and this gives her the perfect opportunity to wear a silk hijab and a head cover underneath it.

The request took her parents by surprise and they were nodding at her, almost pleadingly, and she smiles at them.

She doesn't bother to change out of her clothes, simply pulling on her shoes before walking out and heading towards the warm sand and massive waves heading towards the shore before her house.

It was beautiful. The sun was out and about, sending waves of warmth and calm to everyone it came across, the waves of the ocean gathered as it neared the shore and then crashed down onto the sand, rising towards the girl but barely touching her bare toes.

She takes a deep breath and the scent of salty water and beach floods her senses, for the first time in weeks, an emotion passes through her. It makes her gasp and snaps her closed eyes open, then she's taking another deep breath and letting it come back.

Calm. She was calm and stress-free exactly where she was. In here there was no shooting, and there was no death. In here she can pretend that she's on the phone with Viola and the girl was talking about her newest obsession, she can pretend that her life wasn't so plain and that she wasn't so trauma inflicted.

But then there's the anxiously loud sound of laughter, and her happy little bubble is bursting. She opens her eyes and glares at the group of teenagers that walk past her. Three boys, one girl. They're all shirtless, and the girl is in a bikini. Suddenly y/n is reminded that she doesn't belong here, or anywhere for that matter.

Her oversized clothing looked like they were about to devour her, and still clad in black she was. Nothing colorful felt right at the moment, so she settled into whatever called for her. Black.

Her eyes snap away from them when the blonde boy catches her staring at them. He mutters something to his friends and they all laugh, they all turn towards her and she wishes she could disappear.

They don't approach her, but they're fully aware of the fact that she was still watching them. They talk harshly to one another for a minute, then the boys are rushing into the water to chase a wave with their boards.

She doesn't pay them much attention as her eyes are diverted toward a little crab walking the length of the beach.

She's almost tempted to reach out for the sea creature, letting its club at her hand, but she pulls her feet towards her when he passes by her and she watches it walk away.

"Hey," a voice calls out and y/n looks up to the source, it's the brunette girl. She presses her lips together and gives her a short, quick wave. She wasn't in the mood to talk.

The girl doesn't seem to get that as she approaches her, her eyes squinting against the sunlight and her skin glows a golden brown. "I'm Kie."

Feeling extremely awkward, the hijabi girl smiles at her. "y/n."

"It's nice to meet you, y/n." with furrowed eyebrows, y/n tries not to make this interaction any weirder than it has to be. "Nice to meet you too?"

Finally picking up on the uncomfortableness in the air, Kie points at the boys in the water. "They saw you staring earlier and wanted to impress you," She laughs and y/n's cheeks flush, suddenly her neck and ear heat up and she chokes on a forced laugh, "Um- okay? I'm sorry, I'm not really interested. They seem good though."

Kie nods and takes a seat beside the girl but purposefully giving her space, she glances at the blonde boy riding a wave and points at him with her chin. "That's JJ, he's the best surfer in Outer Banks."

y/n follows her eyes sight and finds the boy with the golden locks on the water, he's bent over as he balances himself on his board and rides out a large wave.

"He's pretty." Kie laughs, "Yeah he thinks he's pretty too." and y/n chuckles.

She doesn't notice, but this is the first time she's laughed since the shooting, and it makes her heart warm.

Kie keeps her eyes on the girl, then she's tilting her head. "Are you new around here? I don't think I've ever seen you around these parts before."

y/n nods, her bottom lip caught between her teeth nervously, "Yeah, my family and I moved her just this morning."

"Really? Where from?"

"New York." y/n cringes and Kie's eyes widen, "New York?! That's awesome. I've never seen a New Yorker before, that must be so cool."

A hesitant chuckle escapes y/n, "I'm not- I'm not from New York, I just moved here from there."

A soft 'oh' leaves Kie, "Where are you from?"

"Uhh, Middle East. It's somewhere between Europe, Asia, and Africa. Like right in the middle." Kie grins at the girl, suddenly a million times interested in her. "That's so cool, why'd you move to America? It's not the best country in the world."

y/n shrugs, "Parents got job offers, it be like that sometimes."

It was silent for a moment, then Kie scrambles off and y/n pressed her lips together, frustrated with herself. Great, she thinks to herself, can't even make friends anymore.

"Dr. Pepper or Pepsi?"

her head shoots up to meet the curly-haired girl's eyes and she smiles a genuine smile, her chest warms and her shoulder relax.

Maybe moving out of New York wasn't a bad idea after all.

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The temperature outside was hot as hell, so y/n was forced into some light-colored clothes to relieve her of the heat. She wore a short-sleeved beige t-shirt with a brown striped flannel on top and beige pants that tightened her waist and ankles. She matched her silk brown hijab with them and pulled on her vans.

She would have successfully managed to leave the house without getting yelled at had she not tried to grab her purse from the living room.

"y/n?!" her mother's voice called for her from deep in the living room, she walks in with wide unreadable eyes, and y/n cringed into herself, "Yes?"

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To meet up with a friend?" she would hardly call Kiara a friend, more like the only person she knows on this whole island, but she'd do whatever just to leave these confining walls.

Her mother hesitates for a moment, "You've made a friend already?"

With raised eyebrows and pursed lips, y/n nods. "Mhm, we met just the other day. On the beach. She's invited me for lunch so," She points a thumb at the door behind her as she slowly steps towards it, sneakily trying to leave her mother's grasp before she tells her that she's not allowed to leave at all but what she does surprises her.

Her mother asks her to wait then she's rushing into her room, then she comes back a few minutes later with her wallet. y/n's eyebrows almost hide in her hijab from how high they've risen as her mother places a hundred-dollar bill in her hand. "Have fun and please be careful."

She doesn't reply, only turns around and rushes out the door. She feared if she stayed a moment longer she might break down and cancel leaving altogether.

Kiara didn't actually invite her for lunch, but she told her to meet up with her in a seafood restaurant. y/n didn't question her, seizing whatever opportunity thrown at her to leave her house.

It wasn't difficult to find Heyward's, seeing as it is literally the only restaurant on the island that provided seafood to the people. The smell of fish, both raw and cooking, invaded her nose and she almost gagged.

Her eyes scanned the crowd and settled on the head of tied-up curls, Kiara notices her presence and calls out for her to join her. Except she wasn't alone.

y/n walks over to her table, both her hands clutching to the strap of her purse as she pressed her lips together and gave a short-lived awkward wave to the boys manspreading on their chairs. She wasn't comfortable, not even a little bit.

Kiara stands up, "Hey, uhh— these are my friends! You know JJ," she points slightly at the shagged haired blonde boy who raised his eyebrows in surprise at his friend's statement, then she points to the other two. "That's John B and Pope."

John B had a backward cap on his head and an overused shirt on his body, and Pope wore a navy blue shirt with a light blue flannel on top. He sends her a soft wave with a welcoming smile and it puts her at ease, just for a moment.

"What's with the..." JJ trails off as he points to her hijab, his eyebrows furrowed in genuine confusion and Kiara widens her eyes at him dramatically, "JJ!" she turns to y/n, "I am so sorry, please ignore him."

y/n chuckles silently, "It's okay, it's my hijab, does it bother you?"

JJ shrugs carelessly and shakes his head, "No it's just weird."

"You're weird." she turns to her friend, "I told my mom I'm having lunch with you so I guess you're stuck with me for the rest of the day." she smiles sheepishly and Kiara, "That's totally fine, my parents are at work today so it's just gonna be the two of us."

"Can I join?" JJ pipes up and both girls turn to him with sharp eyes, "No." he jumps back slightly and blinks at them once, "Jeez, fine. No need to be so aggressive about it."

y/n rolls her eyes at him and grabs a chair from a nearby table and sets it right next to Kiara, making sure to put a noticeable distance between herself and Pope.

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Being friends with Kiara and her 'pogue' friends was so much fun y/n realized, she's been spending a lot less time at home huddled by her parents and more with Kiara, either by the beach or near John B's house.

y/n made it crystal clear she wasn't going to his house with them under any circumstances, no matter how hard they tried to sway her, she had her feet planted.

They respected that enough to spend time with her by the lake where their boat was. The pouges spent most of their time drinking beer and getting high while y/n sat a bit away with her favorite soda and a bag of fries. It was the next best thing.

She couldn't mingle with them, and she couldn't risk the smell of alcohol and weed getting stuck on her which would eventually lead to her parents believing that she was going down the wrong road and hanging out around the wrong crowd.

She was getting better mentally, her desire to spend all day in bed was slimming as her need to disappear was barely making an appearance in her head. She didn't want to face her parents, and the idea of going back to school kept her awake at night, but at least her nightmares weren't as intense as they used to be.

It's been weeks and school ended, summer break gracing everyone with its presence but it was passing rather quickly. y/n had managed to spend a few days in the beach water while the rest of her days were spent in Kara's house or by John B's.

The light difference about tonight is the fact that she was, indeed, in John B's backyard. How'd she ended up here? Kiara dragged her.

The boys told them that the drinks container was broken which meant that their beers and her sodas were going to be hot by the time they get to the lake, so they were forced to go to John B's Cheatu.

"Ayyee," the tanned brunette greeted the girls with a wide grin, "Bienvenido a mi casa!"

y/n pretended to cringe at him, "Your Spanish is horrible," she let out a breathy giggle, leaning on the door frame as they settled in the living room. "Where's the soda you dragged me all the way over here for?"

John B's house was an absolute mess, the living room was trashed with clothes, cans, beer bottles, and leftover food packages.

Not wanting to be rude, y/n diverted her gaze to the boys taking up all the space around the room; JJ lay on the couch, leaving zero room for anyone else, Kiara sat on an armchair while John B and Pope shared the other couch.

John B raised his arms exaggeratedly, "Oh come on y/n! Stay a little while, would it really hurt?"

She raises her eyebrows, "The fact that I'm in a dude's house without an adult's supervision? Yeah actually, it would."

Kara's shoulders dropped at her gloomy mood, "Oh y/n, please? We'll tell your parents you've been with me the entire time and that you're safe."

"That won't bring them peace of mind, Kie. They will hunt me down and keep me in the house for the rest of my life, are you ready for that?"

She shares a look with JJ and he sends her a pointed glance, a silent conversation passing between them. "That will happen if they find out, which they don't have to." The mere suggestion almost made y/n turn around and leave altogether, "You want me to lie to my parents?"

It was JJ the turned to her with surprise, "You don't lie to your parents?"

"No! Of course not, because if I do they won't trust me, and if they don't trust me then I'm grounded for the rest of my life over inconvenient shit."

Pope was nodding in understanding and Kiara walked up to her, holding her hands, "I promise you won't be grounded. I promise you, okay? I'll beg your parents if I have to but stay a while, y/n. You're so hard on yourself with these things, it's literally nothing."

She had her reasons, but they wouldn't understand because they weren't raised the same way she was, she knew that. And she knew she should plant her feet and turn around and walk home, but as she glanced outside and noticed the setting sun, a shiver ran down her spine. y/n faced Kiara and nodded hesitantly.

She'd have to call her dad to pick her up in an hour's time.

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It wasn't as bad as she thought she'd be, they gathered in the Cheatu's backyard when she agreed to stay, and that's where they lit a fire and shared jokes and tales. John B opened up to her about his missing father and Pope talked to her about his desired academic future which she related to on many levels.

It's funny, she really wanted to have a bright future but the mere thought of going back to school made everything that would come after it ridiculous and totally not worth it.

She never told him that of course, she didn't tell any of them anything, and maybe she should've, but she really couldn't bring herself to even think about that day nor care enough to let them know about it.

Maybe she should've focused more on her surroundings but after the long conversation with Pope, y/n started feeling tired so she pulled out her phone and texted her parents if they were free to pick her up from a 'friend's gathering', her father was the one to reply and ask her for the location.

When she looked up from her phone, trying to seem unsuspecting, she noticed just how close JJ sat to her, his blue eyes unblinking as he stared at her, his beer long forgotten but she can still smell it on him.

Her relationship with JJ was a strange one, although she kept her distance most of the time, it didn't stop her from joining their conversation or flirting with him specifically.

And even though he flirted back with her, she always made sure to let him know that they were all simply just friends and they could never be anything more.

It never stopped him from trying though.

She raises a single brow at him with a smirk pulling at her lips, she sinks deeper into her chair and leans her head on the edge of the chair, "Whatcha starin' at Maybank?"

He shrugs, "You." She hums, "Do you like what you see?" He nods shamelessly and heat rises up her neck to her cheeks, she prays it's dark enough to cover it. She removes her eyes from his, too busy trying to bite back a smile to keep eye contact with him.

"I like you, y/n." the words caused her to bark a laugh, "Woah there, you don't even know me JJ." He shrugs, "I know some things about you, and I'd like to get to know you better if you'd let me."

"And if I don't let you?" He shrugs again, "I'd still try to get to know you." y/n fakes a gasp, "Without my consent? That says a lot about JJ." He almost rolls his eyes but smiles at her, "I like the way you say my name."

Not saying a word, y/n realizes that this isn't really him, that's the alcohol boost in him. She presses her lips together and sighs as she gets up, her hand almost reaches out for him but she holds back, eventually, she lets her fingertips brush against his shoulder as she walks away.

"Get some sleep JJ."

Her words, along with feeling her touch for the first time, sober him enough to stare after her retreating figure, JJ furrows his eyebrows with parted lips at the realization of his fast-beating heart. He blinks once, twice, three times then turns to his friends. They're all busy chatter between them about something he couldn't bring himself to get invested in so instead he sinks into his chair and rests his head on the edge of it, repeating the girl in the hijab's actions, he releases a breath into the night.

"Holy shit y/n."

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She almost did get grounded for staying at the Cheatu but when she brought up Kiara's presence, all was forgiven. Her father told her that if she ever did want to go back there, Kiara would have to be with her at all times.

She agreed of course, which is how she ended up at the Cheatu this afternoon. It was a few days after her interaction with JJ and the blonde boy doesn't seem to even remember it happening, it stung just a but what was she really expecting? A seemingly perfect American blonde boy to be actually interested in her? A dream. Nothing more nothing less.

She called Kiara and told her that she was at the Cheatu, waiting for them. Kiara informed her that she, Pope, and John B would be running just a bit late because Pope's father insisted that he finishes his chores before tagging along. She let them be, of course, telling her that she'll be waiting for them when they get back.

She wanders around the Cheatu, checking every room, and admiring the mess. John B's was a bit more put together than the guest room she'd grown to learn that it belonged to JJ most of the time. She never really knew why JJ spent most of his time at the Cheatu and she didn't bother to think too much about it, instead, she continues on her way and pauses in front of Big John's office door. Not wanting to invade her friend's privacy, y/n turns around and walks out to the backyard.

She hears the roar of an engine and her head shoots up in surprise and worry, Kiara said they'd be home late so there shouldn't be anyone here yet.

She gets up and walks towards the house but hides beside the door, glancing inside, y/n holds back a gasp at the sight of JJ walking in with a limp in his step and groans spilling off his lips as he lays on his couch. One of his hands rests on his ribs while the other slightly caress his bruising cheekbone.

Recognizing that she is in no danger, y/n opens the screen door and stares at JJ with concern, "JJ what the hell?"

At the sound of her voice, JJ jumps. He looks at her with surprise and then groans when another wave of pain washes over him. She's quick to react, her hands reaching out to him and gently pushing him back down on the couch.

He's beyond surprised, and he keeps glancing between her hands on his skin and her face confused, concerned face. "Who did this to you, Jay? Did you get in a fight with someone?" He doesn't reply, he can't, not with the way she pulls up his shirt and inspects the damage done to his ribs. Her fingertips trace the blueish-purple bruising and he hisses, she goes to pull away her hand but he's quick to hold it.

She gulped when she realizes he was holding her hand, then she meets his eyes and he was smiling at her ever so slightly, "You touched me," he stated matter-of-factly, "Because you're hurt, why are you hurt JJ?"

He ignores her question completely and repeats himself. With a sigh, y/n pushes herself away from him and walks deeper into the house. For a moment JJ thinks he might have fucked up and scared her away, but then she walks back in with a first aid kit and his heart runs with the wind.

She's cursing under her breath in a language he doesn't understand, and she forces him to stay still as she cleans off the blood of the cuts on his lips and forehead, then she proceeds to put a bandaid on them and try her best to ease the pain in his bruises, but she was no nurse and all she could offer was pain killers and pray he didn't break anything.

He sits up beside her and she's got her arms folded, still staring at him with a stoic face. "You're gonna tell me what caused this?"

He shrugs then winces, "My dad." he says simply and she presses her lips together, she doesn't need any more explanations, this was more than enough. Then she feels bad about asking in the first place and she's apologizing. "It's fine, you didn't know."

It was silent for a moment, then he's grinning at her like a fool, "You touched me." knowing she was never going to hear the end of it, y/n gets out of the couch and sits in the armchair across from him, "Don't flatter yourself Maybank."

He leans back and keeps his grin in place, "I meant what I said, you know," her heart almost skips a beat but she keeps her stare steady on him, "When I said I like you, I meant it. I do like you, and I would love to get to know you."

She shakes her head, "To what end?"

"What?" He asks, confused.

"To what end? I let you get to know me, and then what?"

He takes a moment to think about it, "What do you want?"

"I can't have what I want, not with you at least." It hurt the both of them, for her to say that and for him to hear it, but it was necessary. She knew he needed to hear this before he got any ideas before he got bolder with her before he thought about doing anything.

But what y/n didn't know about JJ, is that he's one stubborn man. "Why not?"

She scoffs, "Because, we're different, we're too different. Knowing guys like you, you wouldn't dare try to change yourself for me JJ, and I wouldn't ask you to because I wouldn't change myself for you either. That in itself should be enough."

He stares at her, unmoving and without a word, and when the engine of John B's car rings in their ears, JJ shrugs, "You don't know that."

────────────────────────────

The school was less than a month away and y/n was trying to come up with multiple different excuses to not attend the first week but so far she's come up empty, she knows her parents know she's going to try to talk them into not letting her go but they have their reasons ready too.

You've been doing so good, I think you'll be alright, you're being dramatic, it won't happen again, and you'll be fine.

She wasn't going to be alright, and she wasn't doing fine. She's been ignoring the dulling ache by making new friendships and filling her time with pointless tasks to not think about anything from before Outer Banks.

It was Viola's eighteenth birthday and y/n couldn't bring herself to leave her bed, not after receiving her first notification for the day saying 'it's Viola's s birthday! Make sure to say hello <3', the reminder she made a couple years ago making her curse her entire existence and wish it to go away.

Kiara tried calling her but she simply asked her to leave her alone, politely telling her that she hasn't been feeling well and that she will be spending her day indoors today. Kie understood of course, and she let the hijabi girl have her space.

JJ thought it was his fault, that what he said had pushed her away and it was his doings that causes her to not hang out with them today, especially since she's been looking forward to this boat ride for a while now.

By noon, y/n was barely holding it together. She sat on her bed with her knees pressed to her chest and her phone was across from her, her eyes glaring at it like it might go up in flames and it will save her the pain of going into Viola's contact and risk scrolling through their conversations.

She almost tears up at the idea, she's forgotten the last text she sent to her best friend before she died. It was the day of the shooting and y/n couldn't bring herself to open the app for days after, not until she received a text from Kie.

She almost burst into tears at the thought of texting her dead best friend happy birthday but she doesn't, instead, she rolls to the side and buries herself under her covers. For now, that's the best she could do.

────────────────────────────

Kiara called her later that evening inviting her to a keg party on the beach that John B was hosting, pulling the 'you're gonna be with me and the boys and I promise it's gonna make you feel so much better' card, she couldn't deny her because she needed something to get her mind off of today, so she dresses up in black jeans, short-sleeved navy t-shirt, and a black leather jacket, matching her black hijab with them.

The location of the party was close, so y/n had no trouble walking to it. By now she's learned all there is to know about living in Outer Banks, how she and the pogues lived on Th Cut side of the island while the richer people were living on the other side, Figure Eight.

She was able to hear the loud music playing up ahead, but then she pauses when the party comes to view. She didn't expect it to bother her so much, but seeing the huge amount of teenagers at the place, made her skin crawl with the urge to turn around and run.

And maybe she would've done exactly that, had it not been for Kiara and John B to call out for her. She groans silently and smiles at them, Kiara was quick to hug her and the smell of beer and alcohol overflowed her nose making her almost gag, "I'm so glad you were able to make it! I'm so sorry about the alcohol, do you want a Dr. Pepper? JJ got you some."

Another wave of the urge to run out of there washes over her at his name and her eyes immediately meet his, he shows her the red drink in his hand and she smiles at him gently. "Thanks."

She was restless, from sipping at her drink to keeping her eyes on all the people around her, making sure to not stand too close to drunken boys and walk away when a girl with a joint walked her way and she jumped every time the kids around her cheered 'drink! drink! drink! drink!' at some guy that wanted to get wasted.

Kie notices and pulls her away from the crowd, "Hey, are you sure you're okay?" y/n chews at her bottom lip and nods, "Mhm, like I said, haven't really been feeling myself." Kie didn't believe her, but she frowns anyway. "Do you want me to walk you back home? You can totally leave if you want."

"No it's fine, I'll leave when I'm ready to go, don't worry."

Before she gets to reply, loud cheers wave through the crowd and they've pulled away from their conversation, their attention focusing back on the party they both gasp when some rich dude had John B by his head in the water, drowning him.

Kiara was quick to run towards them, yelling and begging Topper to let John B go, then she was trying to yell at his girlfriend to let him go, y/n just stood aside as her chest tightened and her body started to shiver, her eyes watered and her body froze.

Suddenly she's not at the beach in Outer Banks anymore, she's standing in the hallway. The cheers around her weren't shouts of encouragement to finish a fight, they were screams of horror and fear.

Her chest closes up her throat and tears prick at her eyes, her vision glosses over and her hearing fades. For a moment, she thinks she might faint, but then a loud, painfully familiar bang goes out and she gasps. One gasp and she's falling apart.

A scream tips off her lips and she's scrambling to get away from the violence, if it was in her head or in front of her she didn't know, she couldn't tell. But all she saw was JJ with a gun pointed somewhere and his fingers repeatedly pulling at the trigger.

Her throat was raw, scratched from her screams of absolute terror and deeply struck trauma. She tries to get away from him, from everyone, tries to crawl away unsuccessfully and then a pair of slender arms pull around her and keep her close, Kie's voice asking her what's wrong and telling her that it was alright barely makes it through the fog around her mind.

Her screams stop, but her trembling and tears don't. Kie helps her up to her feet, barely, and walks her towards the Twinkie. She helps her settle in the very back of it as her chest heaves and gasps leave her, her chest tightens on her and she tries to tell the brunette that she can't breathe.

But then JJ comes in view and she almost screams again, almost tries to crawl away from him, the image of him with a gun burning very vividly in her mind but her throat is too raw, in too much pain to allow her to do that so she whimpers and cries some more.

"What the hell happened back there?" Kie was shouting at JJ, scolding him as Pope tried to drive reasonably fast to the Cheatu, trying to keep their friend alive and well. "What's happening to her?" JJ completely ignores Kie and asks about y/n.

"She's having a panic attack because some fucking dumbass shot a fucking gun right next to her!"

Another whimper and Kiara wraps her arms around her, her tight hold brings her enough comfort to calm down as Pope and JJ make sure that John B was alive and well and warm within the walls of his home.

When her breathing got back to normal, when she felt like her heart wasn't seizing within her chest, y/n told Kiara to go check on John B as she is unsure if she was even able to walk right now. Kie hesitated, not certain y/n was even in the right mindset to be left alone, but then JJ comes into the van and tells her that he will be looking after the girl.

When Kiara leaves, y/n almost calls out for her and begs her to stay, but she doesn't. Instead, she pulls her legs closer to her body and avoids eye contact with the blonde boy across from her, she's fully aware of the horrible state her hijab is in and how it's probably showing a few strands of hair, but she couldn't bring herself to care at the moment.

"Are you okay?"

She breaks down at the question, tears immediately pool in her eyes and she couldn't help the single broken sob that left her, JJ doesn't hesitate in his action. He takes Kiara's place beside her and wraps an arm around her shoulders, gently bringing her closer to his body for a hug and allowing her to cry on his shoulder.

She knows she shouldn't do this, she knows she shouldn't let him touch her, but his arm was only on her shoulders, he didn't dare rub her back, he didn't dare try to remove her hijab, he just kept a gentle hold on her as she cried onto his shoulders. He gave her the chance to pull away if she wanted to, and she didn't.

Her hands gripped his t-shirt, she tried to calm down and not cry too much, thinking it might make her look like a child or a whiny crybaby. She pulls away after pulling herself together and covers her face with her hands, "Can you please turn around for a minute?" her voice is hoarse and dry, he nods and quickly gives her his back, giving her all the privacy she needed to undo her hijab and redo it.

"Thank you." he took it as his cue to turn back around, he also copied her position by pulling his knees up to his chest and he didn't even have to ask for her to know what was roaming his mind.

She sees the question in his eyes and she asks him one of her own, "Why did you—" she choked on words, then she takes a deep breath and tries again, but he's already replying. "We found a sunk boat this morning, we found a hotel key inside and we checked out the room. There was a safe with some money inside and the gun, I took them."

His trust in her was eerie, but she appreciated it. "Why did you have it on you at the party?"

He glances down, almost ashamed, "I couldn't just leave it at the Cheatu, I didn't mean to actually use it, I'm so sorry for scaring you."

The reality of the situation almost drowns her, "You had a gun, at a party full of teenagers. JJ what- what did you even want to do with that?!" she almost starts crying again, but she brushes away a stray tear frustratingly.

"I know you think this is bad—"

"Think?! It is bad! It's horrible and terrifying and heartbreaking," she snaps, "And it's even worse because you've probably never held a firearm a day in your life and you just went swinging it at a high school party!"

JJ knows better than to reply, he knows her frustration and panic at his actions from deeper within so he stays quiet and listens to every word she has to say.

"What if—" she cuts herself off, the image of a dying Viola in her arms invades her mind and attacks her, causing another wave of tears to pool at her lashline. "What if you accidentally shot someone? You know you could go to jail for that right?"

His jaw clenches, "Topper was drowning John B, what did you expect me to do?"

"Tackle him to the ground or something! Don't fucking shoot a gun at kids!"

JJ remains silent, and the silence almost kills her. A few minutes pass and he sighs, "Why did you move to Outer Banks, y/n?"

"What?"

"We asked you once why'd you move to Outer Banks and you said 'circumstances led us here', why did you move to Outer Banks?"

She stares at him, blinking repeatedly, wondering if he was playing tricks on her or if he was actually genuine with his question. She decides that it doesn't actually matter, "There was a shooting at my school," JJ was taken aback, he wasn't really sure what to expect, but it wasn't that. "I lost my best friend," remembering what day it was caused a tear to roll down her cheek, "She died in my arms because a guy with a gun decided to shoot at some kids."

He was apologizing before she even finished her sentence, JJ couldn't believe something so horrible happened to the girl that laughed at his sex jokes and helped patch him up after a fight with his dad. She seemed too pure to see such darkness, and he was beyond sorry for being the reason that darkness came loaming over her again.

He was tempted to hold her again, but the way she cradled herself told him that she wouldn't let him, so he settled on sitting across from her, continuous apologies tumbling off his rosy lips.

"JJ," his name with her voice pauses him, and he looks up at her with those gorgeous icy eyes. She sees it in his orbs, how truly sorry he was, how awful he felt, and it makes her feel bad for the way she reacted, although she's fully aware that it wasn't something she was able to control at the moment. "You didn't know, it wasn't your fault. I just hope you don't carry a gun around where you went."

He nods quickly, "I won't." y/n stares at him, trying to read his face or his body language, then she notices him hesitating. She tilts her head in confusion and he raises a hand facing her, his fingers parted and almost aching to feel her touch once again. She glances at his face and sees the pleading look in his eyes and then she's doing the same, the tips of her fingers meeting his own large ones and JJ lets out a breath.

He glances between her and their touching hands and she almost melts at the hearty eyes pouring out of him, "Thank you." She doesn't ask for what, she doesn't say a word. Just rests her chin on her arm as her hand fights the urge to intertwine her fingers with his.

[football15-7fics]

Tu M’appartiens - Chapter 4

It took quite some time but Tessa finally admitted that this trip to Dubai was the best ever.   As the two girls landed ground, the welcome committee of Armani's hotel took care of them as if they were some royalty.  After all the Armani Hotel Dubai guests consisted mainly of rich people, celebrities and much more. The two girls were attributed one of the ten private apartments for their short stay situated at the twentieth floor of the Burj Khalifa, with a breathtaking view on Dubai's city.   Even Tessa admitted she never witnessed such magic in her life, she fell in love with Dubai as it was her first time destination.

For their first dinner the two decided to dine out of the hotel in a small Arabic restaurant not too far.  The food was delicious as much as the local dessert specialities.   The full of life Nicole suggested they could hit downtown's best night club, one of her favorite hobbies, but Tessa turned down the invitation even though it was a tempting one.  This one felt kinda tired and just wanted to grab a cold shower to refresh her skin and to grab a good night of sleep.  Tessa's plan convinced Nicole to follow her not wanting to let her friend alone, by the end of the day, the two fell asleep on their private balcony, their bodies laid comfortably on the black suede big sofa.

July 5, 2018

The sun was shining on Dubai, the sky looked like a painting scenery with that turquoise sky.   It looked like it was taken from a fairy tale book. For their whole stay, the hotel had the two girls offered a two hours spa massage session and Tessa couldn't wait anymore to try it. As she was preparing a beach bag with some of her personal belongings, Nicole showed up with a sick looking face.

"Nicole, are you okay?" Tessa asked with a concerned voice tone.

"Not really, I think my stomach didn't appreciate our last night meal!" Nicole answered all fuzzy as she took place on the bed.

"Oh no sweetie, what can I do to make you feel better?"

"Nothing, I think I'll keep the bed for today, sleep and lime water is all I need!"

"Niky, I'm so sorry, we had our day planned, the spa then some shopping at the mall!" Tessa pouted.

"Darling, go to the spa and get yourself pampered, you deserve it!" Nicole answered as she positioned her head on the comfortable pillow under her neck.

"No, we promised we'll have it together!"

"I know love, but not today!"

"Well, I'll stay here with you!"

"What, no way, you looking so damn fine with that crimson bikini, this body deserves some attention, why don't you go by the swimming pool, you know we have access to the private area!" Nicole suggested.

"But you sick girl, we can wait until tomorrow, when you'll feel better?"

"I can wait but not that hot body of yours, and this holiday is for you so make the most of it bitch!"

"Ok, I'll sip on some mojitos, reading a good book and maybe taking the sun topless!" Tessa bragged herself in a joking manner.

"That's my girl, now get some fun and maybe you'll get to meet one or two handsome guys there!" Nicole winked.

"My gosh, you'll never stop!" Tessa said in a funny bothered manner rolling her eyes, as she grabbed her bag and stepped out of the room.

♡♤♡♤♡

Surprisingly the private swimming pool area was empty when Tessa arrived, which facilitated her comfort.  After having her body covered with a 30 SPF sunscreen, she threw her bikini top aside breasts free and laid comfortably in the sunbed enjoying the sun dancing on her skin.

                    She opened her book at page 123 which consisted of 378, Tessa was an avid book reader and she couldn't get enough of The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah. But her reading seemed plain as if something was missing to make this moment perfect.

"Mojito!" She exclaimed enthusiastically.  Tessa raised her hand signalling the waiter to come to her.

"Yes Miss, would you like to have a drink?" The waiter was a pleasure to the eyes, behind her sunglasses, Tessa examined the handsome boy.

"Yes, can I have a mojito please?"

"Of course Miss, anything else?" He politely answered.

"Oh no, just a mojito!" Tessa answered.

"If you need anything I'm at your service miss!" The waiter said then walked toward the swimming pool's bar.  Tessa pulled her sunglasses down appreciating the waiter's perfect bum shaped by the white trouser.

"He's so damn fine!" She murmured with a grin at the corner of her lips.

Tessa positioned her sunglasses correctly back and got back to her reading when she noticed a couple had arrived at the opposite side of the pool.  At first she felt a bit uncomfortable with her breasts free, so her mind told her to put on the too part of the crimson bikini, but then she reconsidered her choice, she spoke to herself that she was on a stress-free trip and little of craziness wouldn't hurt her at all.  

"Here is your mojito Miss." The waiter came back with her ordered drink.

"Awww thank you so much!" Tessa said sipping straight on her favorite drink.  "It's so delicious, thank you!" She savored her extra chilled mojito.

"I'm at your service Miss, don't hesitate if you want something!" The waiter said so nicely.

"I will!"

Tessa put her book on the little round shaped table next to her, and behind her sunglasses stared at the opposite where the couple installed themselves on the sunbeds, the short woman went topless as well. She noticed how cute they looked extremely cute despite of the height difference between the two.  The man was so tall and was in such great shape, candy to Tessa's eyes. The chance of being noticed by them for staring too long at their direction was almost nonexistent.  But the more Tessa examined him the more she realized that his face seemed kinda of familiar.

The brown hair, that nose, those lips, that body, that smile.  Tessa removed her sunglasses and her brain sending her immediate repulsive signals.

"Hummels!" She cursed putting her sunglasses back on her nose to avoid detection.  Her senses baffled at the view of the man she hated passionately.  To her, Mats Hummels was the perfect example of arrogance and cockiness, her dislike towards him was above bitter.  Tessa remembered perfectly how his overconfidence flustered during derbys between Dortmund and Bayern Munchen.  Mats Hummels was labelled as a snake and a traitor for leaving Dortmund in 2016 for his former Bavarian club.

Tessa who worked as a media coordinator for Borussia Dortmund always had her seat reserved during games with the players on the pitch.  Only two girls had this extreme privilege, her and Reina, one of the many team's physio. She hated that stupid smile of satisfaction on his face when Bayern Munich shown no mercy to Dortmund during their game.  At Tessa's eyes, Hummels had a lack of morality and no values of life, he was the devil.

Totally disgusted, Tessa couldn't stay there any longer.  The fact that he was breathing the same air as her had her nauseous.  In a hurry, she attached the top part of her bikini, then gathered her stuff in her bag and lifted up from the sunbed.  Uncontrollably, her sight locked at him again but this time Mats raised his hand at her.

"Dirty asshole!!" She cursed between her lips showing him her middle finger which caused Mats to smile back.

Tessa wrapped her black beach pareo around her waist, fuming that she had to cut short her blissful moment of relaxation.

Mats on his side, rejoiced every bit of that moment.

"So, is that Tessa?" Amani asked.

"Yes, she is!" Mats answered.

"She's hot!"

"Absolutely!" Mats grinned.

[keepseaveyweird]

Sticky Notes~ D.S

A/N: This is my first writing so it’s not the best I honestly don’t think it’s the worst (?). It’s kind of all over the place but it’s my first one and I promise it’ll get better! Anyways thank you to @smolboiseavey for giving me the idea :)

Word count: 2431

The door slammed as she walked through the door, dropping her bag to her feet. Sulking, and on the verge of tears, she made her way to the kitchen where her five best friends were making dinner.

“Y/N!” Daniel yelled, as he stood at the stove stirring up some concoction of god knows what. She didn’t answer, just found a seat between Corbyn and Jonah, resting her head on the counter. Corbyn and Daniel met eyes, confused as to why their usually loud, outgoing best friend, suddenly was on the verge of tears.

“Y/N, what happened?” Corbyn asked as he put a hand on her back, creating circles.

It’s not that Daniel was jealous, per say, he knew that Corbyn and Y/N were definitely the closest. They were practically brother and sister, but he did wish that he wasn’t the one who was in charge of dinner that night, that he was the one there to comfort her then rather than standing at the stove.

“Nothing…” she whimpered, her head faced down towards the counter as her arms hid her from them, “It’s just- I-.” Suddenly, the tear gates collapsed and sobs escaped her mouth. He couldn’t take it anymore, rushing around the counter to comfort her.

She felt arms wrap around her torso and a kiss on the cheek, which made her sit up and stare at nothing. Daniel gently caressed her face, turning it to face him so he could look her in the eyes. Her face was red and blotchy, and mascara ran down her face. She looked tired, worn but most of all defeated.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Daniel cooed, as she put her head in his chest making his shirt wet, “just tell us what happened.”

Y/N wiped her eyes and blew her nose, taking a moment to gain her composure.

“Well a lady was upset because her order came out wrong and yelled at me, I worked for eight hours and didn’t get any tips, this stupid little boy threw his chicken strips at me-

“Well why would someone waste chi-” Zach tried to joke, but was most definitely cut off.

“That’s not the point Zach!” Y/N said, beginning to tear up again, “the point is I hate my job and I’m never going to be able to afford my own stupid apartment in this damn city!” She cried, breaking into sobs against Daniels chest. His heart broke for her as he squeezed her tighter to him.

Daniel spoke softly, “Don’t worry about finding a place to live, you have home right here with us.” The four other boys nodded in agreement, a soft smile on all their faces.

“I love you guys, really, but I need to find my own place,” Y/N sniffled, “I can’t just live off you guys. I think I need move back home for a while until I figure some stuff out.”

“No!” Daniel yelled, “you don’t need to do that, we’ll support you, we want to support you, we want you here.” Y/N scoffed, as her sadness suddenly became anger.

“You don’t get it! I want to afford my own apartment, I want to live on my own!” She exclaimed, breaking out of his embrace, “You guys have careers, can support yourselves, have a future. I can’t even waitress right! I should’ve never moved here to LA with you guys, I don’t know what I was thinking!”

“Y/N-” Jack chimed in.

“No! You guys can sing, you guys can dance! What can I do? I literally can do nothing!” Y/N screamed, standing up from her seat and walked away. Daniel chased after her, grabbing her the wrist.

“Stop,” she said sternly, pushing him away and continuing up the stairs. Daniel watched sadly as she made her way into her room, slamming the door behind her.

Y/N laid in her bed, taking turns between crying and sleeping. I never should’ve came, I’m an idiot, stupid, what was I thinking? Her thoughts consumed her for hours. She didn’t want to go home, didn’t want to return to her family that she never talked to, didn’t want to see friends she lost contact with. But her first year of college wasn’t going well, and her job couldn’t pay her enough to stay there a day more. It hurt her to see her five best friends doing so well in the city of dreams, while she struggled to write an essay for her political science class. It hurt her to see them release singles and EP’s and albums as she stared in confusion at her college french homework. Suddenly her mind was made up; she was going home. She picked up her lap top and booked a flight back to her hometown. Two days, she had two days to pack her things and say goodbye to her best friends.

The news to the five boys was not pretty. There were tears, questions, arguments, screaming, yelling, but in the end all of them knew it was the right decision for her. All except for Daniel, who stayed silent the whole time, who wondered what was going to happen when she left. He lay in bed that night, his mind racing, his heart hurting, because he loved her. Because the moment they met three years ago when Corbyn introduced his hometown best friend, he knew she was special. No one made him laugh more, smile more; no one was more supportive (well besides his family of course) or boosted his confidence when performing. No one was there for him more, when he was sad or when he had to vent or when he needed a shoulder to cry on. Y/N was it for him, he just wished he wasn’t so scared to tell her.

The next morning, Daniel tiredly left his room to go downstairs, passing by Y/N’s room whose door was open. He stopped in his tracks and peaked around the door frame as she slowly started to take clothes out of her closet, and with every shirt that was put in her suitcase, a little bit of his heart was put in there was well. He knew he had to stop this, that he had to tell her everything.

It was the next day, the day Y/N left to go back to virginia. Her eyes opened lazily, the sun blinding her from her window. Her flight didn’t leave until that night and she hadn’t finished packing, worn out by yesterday’s news and argument.

Later she walked downstairs to find Jonah and Daniel in the living room watching TV.

“I’m um- gonna go quit my job,” Y/N announced awkwardly as she put on her shoes.

“Oh,” Daniel sighed, “I guess we’ll see you later”

“Kick your boss’ ass while you’re there, he’s a real jerk.” Jonah said, attempting to lighten the mood.

Y/N chuckled, “I’ll try my hardest.”

Daniel watched you walk out the door and drive away. Let’s get to work, he thought.

It was about an hour and thirty minutes later when Y/N walked back into the house, seeing Jonah and Daniel exactly where they were when she left. She returned to her room to finish packing when she noticed the bright pink sticky note on her dresser.

You’re too special for Virginia <3

It was after that she started to find them everywhere. Between her folded jeans in her dresser, on her toothbrush, in every drawer, the shower, in her shoes, behind doors, on pillows, under the bed, under her comforter, on her hairbrush, in her make up bag; literally everywhere.

Please don’t leave me

I need you here

You’re my everything

I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you

Every song I write is dedicated to you

You're too talented to leave LA

And every now and again Y/N found some funny ones.

You gotta nice bum :)

Your laugh is kinda stupid, but it’s the most beautiful laugh in the world

Your jokes aren’t funny, but I can’t live without them

She wondered if it was Corbyn, who didn’t want to his best friend to live on the other side of the country. If it was Jonah, who would miss Y/N too much when he had no one to get coffee with. If it was Jack, who wouldn’t have anyone to skate board with because the other boys sucked. If it was Zach, who would have no one to dance around and annoy literally everyone around them. Or if it was Daniel, who would have no one to cuddle with or talk to about important girl stuff or a photographer when Zack wasn’t around.

The truth was she really like Daniel, would never in a million years tell him that, but the feelings were there. They just clicked, and that was it really.

                                              _____________

All of her stuff was in the car, and the boys piled in, Corbyn behind the wheel.

“Wait, where’s Daniel?” Y/N asked as she buckled up.

“Oh,” Jack hesitated, “He’s not home, we don’t know where he is.” Y/N didn't understand, thought they were closer than that, thought their friendship was strong enough they could say goodbye and not mean it cause they knew it truly wasn’t a goodbye. She hurt as she sat in the back seat in complete silence as the radio quietly played.

The airport was busy, as LAX always is, but there was more hustle and bustle than usual. More people in line for security and waiting to check in bags and more pushing through crowds to greet loved ones from their long journey home.The five of them checked Y/N’s two bags in and sadly walked her to security where they began their goodbye’s. They went around each giving hugs and squeezing Y/N so hard until she could barely breathe.

“I’m gonna miss you guys so much,” Y/N said as she began to tear up, “thank you guys for everything. I love you.” She said as they all came in for one last group hug, well, minus one.

“Have a safe trip, buddy o’pal,” Corbyn said, “I’ll see ya soon.” He gave her a small smile and one last hug before she made her way to security. The line was long, as the airport was crazy with people. As Y/N got closer to security, she remembered the notes and rushed back to the boys who were walking away.

“Wait!” She yelled, “which one of you hid the notes around my room?” she asked, pulling out a big ziplock bag full of bright, neon pink stickies.

“Wasn’t me,” Said Jonah, shrugging.

“Me neither,” Zach said confused.

“Not me but if I knew it would stop you I would’ve.” Corbyn laughed.

Y/N thought to herself. Then who - her thoughts were cut off.

“Me! It was me!” He yelled as he ran to you. He handed you bouquet of flowers as he tried to catch his breath. “It was me, I left the notes. I was suppose to beat you here, but I needed flowers, and by the time I got home you had left and traffic was crazy. God, this was supposed to be so cute and so good and I’m sorry. I’m so so so so sorry.” He panted, hunched down with his hands on his knees, hating himself for being so stupid.

“But Daniel, I thought-”

“I love you Y/N. I have for a long time. And I know I talked to you about other girls and my problems and I always treated you like a friend but I just didn’t want to ruin anything. And when you said you were going back home…” He took a breathe, still panting from his sprint to you, “My heart was just shattered, and I couldn’t let you just walk away without telling you how I feel. Because Y/N Y/L/N, I love you. I love you so much and if you leave, I don’t know what I’m going to do. And I know you’re not happy here in LA, but I will help you find a new job, I’ll help you with resumes with interviews because I know you don’t want to rely on us. Just please. Please please please please please don’t leave.”

Y/N was speechless, because all of it was happening so fast and because she thought he didn’t want to say goodbye. Because she was standing there next to security with a bouquet of roses while a small group of fans began to collect, watching it all go down. Because it wasn’t a very romantic proclamation of love as he gasped for air, but it was Daniel. The speech, the roses, the sprint in here, it was all very Daniel.  

But the truth was, she felt the same way, she liked Daniel. Hell, she loved Daniel. And all her irrational thoughts of moving back home began to settle in. Because she remembered Corbyn chasing his dreams of performing ever since they were kids, because Daniel always tells her not to give up and to work hard and to push through. Because she realized instead of listening to their words they’ve been telling her for years, she was running away and she felt stupid for not realizing this sooner. Y/N wished it didn’t take Daniel running through the airport like rom-com to realize her irrational decisions. Wished it didn’t take Daniel to profess his love in front of the whole airport for her to realize she felt the exact same way.

“Y/N-” Daniel started but was cut off. Cut off by Y/N’s lips crashing into his. And it felt right, it felt so right.

“Daniel Seavey,” Y/N said, looking into his bright blue eyes, “I love you too.” Daniel reconnected their lips as the other four laughed and smiled, watching them. Because all of them have known about their feelings. Neither of them said anything to anyone, but you could see it in the way they talked to each other, cuddled up together. They could just feel it when they were together.

“I’m so sorry to do this boys,” Y/N started as the looked at the other four. She grabbed her suitcase and took Daniel’s hand into hers, “but let’s go home.”

The six of them started for the car.

“So,” Y/N started, a smile plastered to her face as she put her head on Daniel’s shoulder, “you think I have a nice bum?”

[marvmacdonald]

“she's fucking impetuous and daring, a little too bold and way too fucking fearless.”

MARY MACDONALD is 21 years old and works as an JUNIOR AUROR and is loyal to THE OOTP they were an GRYFFINDOR and are a MUGGLEBORN. SHE look like CHRISTIAN SERRATOS. 

CHARACTER PARALLELS: jessica jones ( jessica jones ), leia organa ( star wars ), arya stark ( asoiaf ), johanna mason ( the hunger games ), nancy wheeler ( stranger things ), rosa diaz ( b99 ), ellie ( the last of us ), raven reyes ( the 100 ), kat edison ( the bold type ), nina zenik ( six of crows ) AESTHETIC: red lipstick stains on drained cups of tea, leather jackets, cigarette bums crushed under doc martens, sitting down in the shower and letting time pass by, always wearing your gold cross necklace, messy ponytails, beer burps, laughter that’s filled with desperation, jean dungarees, screaming in your pillow, mud stained clothes, denim on denim on denim. LINKS: stats. pinboard. character tag. playlist.

history

mary had a little lamb? WRONG. mary had a little calf. because she was born on a dairy farm in the highlands of scotland ( laugh at my joke pls i worked hard on it ). she was born third to two muggles – a scottish father and a mexican mother, who loved each other deeply – and would eventually become their middle child. she could have become overlooked, but mary never felt discounted at home: while her parents were very often busy with the cows, their love ran deep.

her youth consisted of this: running through fields of grass, attending a muggle elementary where people sang songs at her ( old macdonald had a farm and mary had a little lamb, the former of which was, of course, accurate ), playing with the animals, building tree houses with her brothers and sister and playing football every spare moment she got. it was good and simple and wholesome.

of course, strange things happened, as they tend to with muggleborns: she’d explode her brother’s toy when she got angry, or let things fly around the room when she was laughing. when she found out she was a witch at age eleven, things fell in its place. and the macdonalds, while traditional catholics, accepted mary, which is the most important thing of it all. her parents were shocked, yes, but they squeezed her shoulder and promised to discover this all together.

which?? very much influenced mary greatly? because it went against a lot of things they – and she, too – believed in. magic was deemed evil by the church they attended. everything about this was supposed to be wrong, but her parents shifted their views because their love for their daughter was greater than their desire to cling to all the rules the church laid down for them, this has allowed her to have a faith in people, and while she may be cynical and bitter at times, that faith is still there.

i mean --- her parents accepted her, they were capable of openmindedness despite being traditional people in most other situations. other people can too.

hogwarts was as chaotic as home, and mary settled in quite nicely. sorted into gryffindor ( she guessed it was for her rambunctious nature, but who knew ), she found herself a second home and loved it. as it turned out, she was rather good with a wand as well – she didn’t do so good at essays, though – and genuinely liked learning ( except for history of magic. fuck that. ).

being a muggleborn had its downsides, of course, but mary never really allowed herself to feel discouraged. hurt? yes, definitely, but never discouraged. she wasn’t going to let it get to her, she told herself, but it did, especially when the harsh words turned into something more. it was during her confrontation with mulciber that mary felt true, harsh fear for the first time. she felt shut down, paralysed, depressed —– but then, after a while, she got up and took some important steps. she reported mulciber, which led to nothing, which caused her to feel angry, which in turn caused her to feel determination. if the system wasn’t going to be on her side, she’d just have to fucking change it, right? mary started throwing herself in her schoolwork, determined to join the dmle – hopefully as an auror, but any position would do. she suppressed her fear and the trauma that was there, and kept her head straight.

this entire situation is up for change and stuff when/if we get a mulciber! 

graduation rolled around and mary got the five required NEWTs to even apply. it was a nervewracking process, but once she got into auror training, she cried. like. for a full ass day. she was so proud of herself and she felt so determined and !! man. it was such a good, defining moment. around the same time, mary joined the order; she knew the ministry was corrupt, and that it’d not allow her to do everything she wanted to, when the order DID. mary had too much anger, too much determination to fight this bullshit to just stick with the ministry, and so the order seemed like the right place.

it’s only recently that mary graduated from her training and became a junior auror. it’s ... infuriating, at times, but also amazing. she hates the ministry and most of the people in it, feels paranoid in those walls, but knows that there are good people, too. people who want to better that place, like she does.

kaz brekker voice: brick by brick, i will destroy you.

also --- mary is ... very quite involved in the war. her time is divided between the order and work, and her dog. she’s determined to get this war to end. she doesn’t even care if she destroys herself in the process --- what does her life mean, if she could help save numerous people?

so right now, she’s fighting. she’s gritting her teeth and keeping her goals in the back in her mind and is focusing. and she does not always feel brave or confident or self assured, but that does not matter: mary macdonald always gets the fuck back up, and that’s what she will keep doing until she’s completely knocked down.

personality & tidbits.

mary is a human espresso. she’s so. damn. bitter?? despite the fact that she keeps on going and that she’s fighting her ass off, she’s tired and angry that things don’t seem to be moving in the right direction, she’s feeling bitter about the fact that this kind of discrimination is happening right in front of her eyes and that she does not have enough power to stop it. she feels powerless, which makes her feel bitter, which makes her cynical.

still! mary is not necessarily a debbie downer to be around. she keeps her bitterness ( and hopelessness, even ) carefully hidden in boxes in her mind. on the outside, she’s filled with quips and smiles and quick comments! just a sociable bean, but just a bitter one.

is a dog person and will fight anyone who prefers cats. has a cairn terrier called bowie. she loves him more than anyone.

obsessed with tea, tbh. her ma always said that ‘there’s nothing a cuppa can’t fix’ and mary definitely agrees with this statement.

though is also a ‘whiskey in a teacup’ kinda gal

can be spotted wearing either a rly nice ass blazer or a jean jacket, no inbetween. either office-fancy or farmer-chique

fucking loves muggle culture and loves fellow muggleborns and !!!!!! she loves it!!!

very much in a take-no-prisoners mindset at this point re: death eaters. it kind of scares her, tbh, but mary is very much capable of murdering a death eater, even if she could stun them — she’s just done. she’s very. done. with them. and this whole shbang? will only feed into this.

mary is ruthless, that’s what it boils down to. she’s a lot more than that, of course, but she’s ruthless — in small things ( football matches & boardgames ) but also in bigger ones, and of course the war is the main way it shows. mary is so angry. she’s so angry and scared and tired of feeling that way and tired of being scared to lose people and herself and of death and she’s so angry that people really are this way and that they really do these things — she wants it to stop. she wants the world to be right. and sometimes she thinks the ends do justify the means.

this is why she’s chaotic neutral and not chaotic good.

like ive had her turned to dark arts before just bc she’s so desperate to. fucking win. tbh i’m sure she has a growing interest rn. stop it mary :(

and she’s also like — mary doesnt care if she ruins herself? if she becomes a bad person who’s unable to live with the shit she’s done? as long as the world is better for it, as long as kids can go to hogwarts and feel safe and the world is a safe place for everyone. what does her soul matter in the grand scheme of things? she’d burn in hell forever if it meant the rest of the world changed for the better.

emotionally driven mess of a being

is catholic but struggles a lot with religion and feeling faithful, but she does still identify is a catholic, it’s just? complicated. it’s rly complicated and she hates it.

is a bit flighty when it comes to romance, def has a lot of one night stands/fwb situations though??? she’s just like??? i dont have time for romance its a WAR

has been trying to stop smoking for five years, but alas

a proud scot. a proud latina. proud proud proud. such a fucking lionness.

mary was a beater during her time at hogwarts and was Highly competitive. threw herself into the sport tbh after the mulciber incident. she still thinks football is superior, but you know, it isnt in the air.

she’s pan and out of the closet --- something that did put a strain on her relationship with her family. ( the fact that they could accept her magic but not her sexuality ... baffles mary, but bigots have never been very reasonable. ) she’s not very open about it at home, but otherwise ... she’s out here lovin everyone.

plot ideas!

roomies —– so mary is not Earning A Whole Lot Right Now but does not want to live at home any more because 1. its in the middle of nowhere and 2. most importantly, she’s afraid of endangering her family. she needs roomies! i’d love for her to live in glasgow/edinburgh/london/idk a city!!!

hook ups/fwb’s/etc —– mary is what the old ppl call promiscuous and she sleeps around. so ! let’s talk! former hook ups! booty calls! friends with benefits! etc etc etc!

party pals —- mary likes going to pubs and clubs in the muggle part of town bc it is a LIT way to escape the reality of the wizarding world and also, muggle clubs have better music. come party w her!!!!

in the dragon’s den together —- fellow ministry employees who side eye the ministry and whom mary can sip tea and judge their colleagues with

mudbloods club —- mary loves her fellow muggleborns and i would love some muggleborn friends that she can be buds with. ranting about dumb pureblood names and traditions and the fact that wizards dont have movies

general friendship ideas —- im just going to a bunch of ideas here: hogwarts friends, ride or dies, order pals, friendly exes, fellow tea drinkers that she can go on coffee/tea dates with, friends who are growing apart bc of the war (my fave), etc.

etc —- some other ideas i want to spitball: purists who h8 on mary’s life, fellow diagon alley employees, fellow order members, Annoyances, there is solidarity in being scottish, ministry connections, etc etc etc HIT ME UP

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

Maybe 29 or 30!!

anon: 29!!

i took these two requests and merged them together! hope you both enjoy :-) 💝

29. “Come over here and make me.”

30. “You better watch yourself.”

Games with Harry are fun, Y/N will admit.

He’s ace at Scrabble, a great opponent at Monopoly and surprisingly incredible at Twister, considering he’s such a clumsy dolt (she credits his success to his lanky limbs).

But there is one game in particular that is Y/N’s favorite to play with Harry because she knows she always has a fighting chance of winning: their sex withdrawal game.

She doesn’t know if it’s necessarily a game– a bet is more like it. The rules are fairly simple: No sex for an agreed amount of time and the person that caves first has to do all of the dishes for a week. Kissing and canoodling is allowed, but they can’t touch each other anywhere between the legs. Breaking that guideline accounts for immediate forfeit. Plain and simple.

It’s Harry’s favorite game as well and ever since he got off on a small break from promo, a couple of weeks before the movie comes out, he’s been itching to get home to start a round of it with Y/N. With everything that has been happening in the past couple of months, they hadn’t done it in a while and he thinks it’s about time they go head-to-head once again (pun intended).

This time around, though, it was going to be more difficult to win because they’ve been apart for three weeks, so the sexual tension is stronger than ever. But Harry will be damned if he loses. He’s held a winning streak the last three games and he refuses to let it fall now.

And so he takes advantage of everything he’s got, picking a particularly boring, uneventful evening of just cuddling and watching Netflix to strike with every temptation he can think off.

Harry trots down the stairs of their condo, fresh out of the shower with the lulling scent of chamomile shampoo trailing behind him as his Blue de Chanel cologne stains his tanned skin (all of those days of filming outside and in the water had really paid off). He has decided to wear a matching set of Hawaiian pajamas that Jeff had gifted him in Jamaica (a nice cotton pairing of a button up shirt and loose shorts with giant hibiscus flowers printed onto a red background), leaving the flowy shirt unbuttoned to expose his sun-kissed chest. His hair is still damp, dry at the roots but flopping wetly as his body jolts with his movements, matting to his neck and aiding in accentuating his jawline. He normally isn’t such a show off, but Y/N is a tough competitor and all is fair in love and sex war. Harry’s also munching on a piece of gum, knowing well and good how his flamboyant way of chewing pushes all of her buttons into overdrive.

When he wanders into the living room, Y/N is distracted by Kevin Hart’s newest comedy film playing on the large flatscreen. She’s snuggled into the corner formed by the couch’s arm, her knees tucked up to her chest as her rainbow polka-dot pj bottoms drape over legs and feet, an oversized Avenger’s t-shirt hanging loosely around her torso and bunching up around her hips. Harry smiles softly, allowing himself a moment to fond over her, and then he’s sliding up against her on the couch, kissing at her shoulder with a gentle, “Mind if I join?”

Y/N nods her head distractedly, letting him scootch up beside her and scoop her into his lap. He sponges fluttery pecks to the back of her neck, running his long fingers through her loose hair and a small, knowing smirk twitches the corners of his lips as she settles onto his widely-parted thighs, snuggling her head against the dip of his collarbone with her hands resting in her own lap. Only a few more seconds…

She suddenly jerks up, her head whipping around as she practically dives off of him, crawling frantically towards the opposite end of the couch. Her expression holds angry disgust and utter shock. “You’re not wearing any underwear?!”

Harry gives her a lopsided grin, chewing his gum excessively hard in order to flex his jaw and neck and pushing his damp hair back from his eyes, giving a nonchalant sniff. “No, ’m not. Wasn’t really feeling it today. Thought the boys could use a little fresh air.”

Y/N stares at him disgruntled, blinking back a seething smolder and trying her hardest to ignore the way his jaw is going taut. Or how his shirt is hanging open off his broad shoulders, revealing his tatted chest and tan torso. Or how the bottoms of his pajamas are hanging dangerously low on his defined hips– low enough that she can see the faint hairs of his happy trail thickening into the rough scruff of his pubic hair. Or how his hair hugs the sides of his neck and looks soft and fluffy up top– hair that carries a soft, therapeutic scent that contrasts with the sharp tinge of his musky cologne, strong notes of cedar, amber wood and citrus stinging her nose. Or, most importantly, the stance he’s taken on, with his legs spread open suggestively to establish a quiet yet powerful aura of dominance, one arm slung lazily over the back of the sofa as the other is propped up against the seat arm, temple pressed to his fist to cradle his head as he pins her with a predatory gaze, a cocky grin winking one of his dimples into existence.

Harry gives her a slow, sensual once-over, the intense stare making her feel as if his hands are coasting up her body, touching every crevice and undressing her leisurely. He pops his gum, humming thickly with agreement when his eyes flit over her chest. “No bra?”

Y/N quickly crosses her arms across her front and glowers, not giving him the satisfaction of an answer. The game’s in full swing now and she won’t let her guard down for a millisecond.

He lets out a childish whine, pouting his unusually red lips and giving her his famous puppy dog eyes. “You’re blocking my view, pet. S'not very nice.”

“Leave me alone.” She snaps, bringing her legs back up to her chest like before and wrapping her arms tightly just below the knees. Her gaze looks past him, focusing back on the guy across the television screen as he pretends to run for his life.

“Aw, c'mon, now. Don’t get like that, love! There’s nothing in the rule book that says I can’t have a little fun.” Harry lulls his head to the side, puckering his lips playfully and reaching out towards her to take her hand, but she quickly snatches it away. The look on her face is so venomous, a cobra would quake in fear.

He slumps his shoulders, sighing grandly and taking his gesture back. “Suit yourself. I’ll find another use for my hand, then.”

And before Y/N can protest, he’s plunging his fist into his pants, wrapping his fingers around his thick base and making an obvious tent in the Hawaiian print. “’M kinda itchy. Just shaved.”

“Harry, stop.” It’s the first rise he’s gotten out of her and his cheeks jolt with the ghost of a triumphant chuckle. The way the determined rage in her irises melts away into sheer panic truly tickles him pink.

Harry looks up at the ceiling, pretending to be giving the suggestion some thought, but then scrunches up his nose and shakes his head. “I think not. But, by all means, you can replace my hand with yours if you’d like.”

“Shut up.”

One of his eyebrows quirks up in surprise, his tongue peeking out to further darken his stupidly juicy, flushed lips. “You better watch yourself. Remember what happened last time you snapped like tha’? Hands and knees for two hours straight, along with some pretty wicked ring marks on that perky little ass of yours.”

Y/N releases a squeaky whimper, her neck dropping forward until her forehead knocks against her knees. Some insane part of her hopes that if she hides away into herself, the temptation will fade away. But Harry being Harry, he won’t let her slip away that easily. Especially not when he’s this close to victory.

“I know y'want to.” His voice is low and raspy, with an edge of smugness. “Know you want me in that tight little cunt, yeah? Did y'think I haven’t heard you getting yourself off in the bathroom after I’m supposedly asleep? You’re not exactly quiet, darling.”

Y/N lifts her head, tilting it back to get a full view of him, ears glowing raspberry red. He’s splayed across the sofa with his legs even wider open, the bump in his shorts rising and falling as he jerks himself off slowly, just for show. His mint gum is grinding in between his teeth as he leans his head back, eyeing her hazily over the apples of his cheeks with pride painted across the mossy green around his pupils.

“Just fucking…just stop it, Har. I mean it.” Her arms tighten harder around her legs, the area between them buzzing with longing.

Harry worries his bottom lip between his two blocky front teeth, suckling it into his mouth and releasing it with a wet pop. He yanks his hand from his pants, giving his lap a good pat. “Come over here and make me.”

And that does it. Y/N practically pounces on him, taking his offered seat and starting to hump his thighs. She’s sucking and nipping down his jaw and neck, hands burying in his wet hair to pull him into her. Harry gropes at her ass, grinning with amusement as he tosses his piece of gum into the decorative ashe tray on the coffee table, sitting up to catch her lips in a the heavy kiss and murmuring a deep, quiet, “Say it.”

She ignores him, one hand sliding down to fist at the material of his floral pajama shirt, making a make-shift handle out of the fabric and using it to slam him back against the backrest of the couch. She grinds herself against the thick bulge resting on his thigh, swallowing down his tiny heaves and feathery moans, replacing them with her own. Harry gives her bum a good slap and squeeze, reigning in control as he uses this hold to alter the speed of her humping, slowing her down.

Y/N whimpers in protest, biting at the corner of his mouth out of spite and trying to speed up again. But Harry’s not having any of it, proving this in how he pulls away from her embrace and stares up at her with an stern look. His intimidating gaze cause her to turn away, attempting to force the blush from her cheeks as she zeros in on the TV again, not wanting to be caught in his trap.

“Look at me, peach. Lemme see your eyes.”

She reluctantly obeys, looking up at him through her lashes. Her hand is just itching to slap the pompous simper that is carving his dimples at the moment.

Harry locks their gazes, reaching up to cup Y/N’s jaw and to thumb over her swollen bottom lip, blinking at her with pent up sensual need and unwavering authority. “Say it.”

“I…wanna fuck you.” It’s barely above a whisper, but it’s out nonetheless.

“Louder. Give it to me louder.” He uses his free hand to grip onto her hip, guiding her against his crotch slowly to show her the slightest bit of what she’s missing out on by being so stubborn. “Now, Y/N.”

“I wanna fuck you.” Y/N grits out louder, making her defeat official.

“That’s what I thought,” Harry drops his fingers from her face with a conceited smirk, crossing his arms behind his head and relaxing into the sofa cushions. “Now ride me until you can’t feel your legs anymore.”

[naughty-teddy-innit]

An Ed Sheeran Oneshot, AKA Couch Fluff. 💙💙💙

So I stumbled across THIS Gif a few days ago, and the comment about imagining Ed stroking his fingers up and down your arm, and underneath your sleeve totally got me and it spiralled into a Cuddly oneshot that I'm kinda in love with. Hope you guys like it, and no Smut this time around! 

“Edward Christopher….” Your voice is soft, yet a touch of wry exasperation flavours the words you aim in his direction.  “You’re absolutely NOT helping, you know.”

You’re splayed across one end of the overstuffed, navy blue sectional that occupies your living room, well-worn plush throw pillows propping your legs up.  Your MacBook is open in your lap, textbooks, mounds of handwritten notes and references stacked beside you. You were thisclose to finishing your last semester of school, and this last, final paper, along with your final exams, had consumed every moment of your time and energy for the past 2 weeks. The topknot that resides atop your head probably hadn’t been let down in days, and your ever-present sweatpants were probably becoming a little TOO well-worn.  You’d abandoned your contacts 4 days ago, and resorted to the glasses that Ed so lovingly referred to as your “Potter Specs”.  You were BEYOND ready to be done, and to rejoin the world of the people that slept. And bathed. That’d be a good idea.

Your eyes were beginning to cross as you attempted to keep focus on the screen in front of you, and your fingers were beginning to forget how to spell.  A deep, exhausted sigh falls from your lips, and only a moment later, you feel his weight shift from his position to the side of you, on the opposite side of the sofa, to now against your hip.  You feel, suddenly, warm fingers gently tracing along the outer bend and crease of your arm.  They drift slowly upward, gently, softly stroking under the sleeve of your jersey.  Slowly up and down, a soft, soothing pattern drawn against the warm give of your flesh. A soft hum of contentment rumbles in your chest, the slow stroke of his slightly calloused fingertips sending waves of warmth and relaxation through your tense, exhausted body.  However heavenly his fingers were though, they were NOT helping your already stretched-to-capacity brain to prove your hypothesis. Hence, your half-hearted protest.  

“Sooo not helping me concentrate, Teddy.” You sigh.  “Feels SO nice, but I gotta finish this SOMEHOW, and soon.”

You feel his weight suddenly shift again, and he’s sitting up and facing you with a full pout on his face, and you can’t help but laugh at expression. So very your Teddy.

“What’s that face for?” You laugh softly.  Reaching just slightly, you comb your fingers though the scruff on his jaw, allowing your thumb to gently swipe the outline of his pillowy lips. He captures your hand before you can pull it back, his fingertips twining with yours, and lifts it to his lips. He dots soft, supple kisses along the bump of each knuckle, and then sighs as you smile ruefully and pull your hand back, tenderly brushing his cheek before straightening your laptop.

“I am a sad, neglected Ginger Man.” He pronounces with dramatized woe in his voice.  “I only want attention.”

You can’t help the laugh-snort that escapes as you take in the puppy dog eyes that he’s oh so skillfully aimed in your direction.

“Neglected???” You tilt your head and give him your own pretty little pout, loving the sparkle in his blue eyes at the mischief in yours. “My poor sweet Teddy. How in the world have you survived this long?? 2 WHOLE weeks.”  

“Can’t help it.” He says stubbornly. “I miss my cuddles. And your cooking, cause fuck knows I can’t feed myself. Oh, and also, I miss getting you naked. You have such a pretty bum.” He sighs.

He says this so plaintively and earnestly, you can’t help but fall to pieces, until your shoulders are shaking and you have to pull your glasses off to wipe your eyes. That BOY.

“Baby, believe me, I KNOW it’s been a rough couple of weeks. I have ONE exam left, and this last fucking paper to submit, and then you can have at my pretty bum and every other part of my body, for as LONG as you want. And then again after that.” You cock your head as you finish that thought, and let your fingers drift to cover his. You shoot him a mischievous smirk, and whisper, “If it helps, there are several parts of YOUR body I’m desperate to reacquaint myself with.” You catch his gaze and grin at widening of his eyes.

“Tease.” he says drily, with no preamble and a raised invisible blond eyebrow. “I suppose Little Ed can wait a little longer…”  He sees your own raised eyebrow and the gleeful giggle that’s about to escape your lips and cuts you RIGHT off. “OI. NOT so little Ed, then. Massive Ed. GIGANTIC ED-“

You give him the most knowing look you can muster, and pat his knee. “You just keep telling yourself that, babes. He’s gargantuan. Mythological, even. Overshadows any other penis I’ve ever see - Wait, ED NO!! AHH-“

You SHRIEK as he suddenly launches himself from his sitting position, and you find yourself flat on your back, face to face with a pair of large, twinkling sea blue eyes, and the ENTIRE length and weight of his soft, warm body squashing you into the couch cushions. You’re positively shaking, belly laughs wracking your body as he simply lays there, innocence etched on his face as he covers your body with his.

“Hi,” he says with a massive grin. “Got your attention now, Love. Gimme kisses, and MAYBE me and my neglected, mythological, man parts will let you get back to your laptop. Maybe.”

“You think ATTACKING me gets you kisses, you MEAN man??” You’re gasping high-pitched giggles as you try to wiggle him off, but he’s not remotely having it. Little bugger; he’s not even moving, he’s all out planking with you pinned beneath him, a giant satisfied grin plastered across his face. Damn those scruffy dimples. And he smells delicious, traces of laundry soap and cologne and just…Teddy. Dammit.

One colourful arm suddenly lifts up and he props himself up, one inked up forearm on either side of your head, and he hoists, almost slides, his body right up over yours. One leg is drawn up, soft flesh and firm muscle pressed up against your outer thigh and hip. He’s NOT letting you go, and the utterly pleased-with-himself smirk that’s NOT left his face is just far too cute. It is NOT fair.

“You may have ONE kiss.” You solemnly acquiesce. “One kiss, and then, sir, you need to UNSQUASH ME-“

His lips are on yours before you can form another thought, and…Oh. God, there is never a time you don’t love his kisses.  His lips, so soft and yielding and yummy, you’ve missed these slow, tender kisses. He has a habit of infusing every embrace, every graze and caress with meaning and intent. Whether it was a joyful, loving smooch, or deep and carnal, his kisses were never a wasted thought.

“Mmmmmmmm…” you hum, losing yourself in feel of his body pressed against yours, and the delicious tickle of his beard as it gently chafes your sensitive skin.  He’s all about the slow, lingering kisses this time aroun; catching your upper lip, then a gentle tug to your bottom lip. For the first time in over a week, you can feel the tension leave your body, all thoughts of hypothesis’ and arguments and due dates, a distant and fuzzy memory, and it’s so just what you needed. You manage to extricate your arms from beneath the weight of his, awkwardly sliding them up and over the slope of his shoulders and back, your fingers winding through the silky curls at his neck.  A contented rumble rolls through him at your touch, and he presses his body as tightly against yours as he can, drawing out more and more warm, melty, kisses that you wish would never end.  He slows suddenly, his lips tracing a gentle new path as he tenderly marks the landscape of your jawline, your forehead, even the tip of your nose, and it’s just so heavenly, and in this moment you’re not sure you’ve ever felt so cherished.

He pulls back, and his eyes crinkle into an affectionate smile. His fingers and thumbs brush along the curve of your cheek, tucking a loose tendril of your hair behind your ear before he drops one last kiss on your lips. He grins, and lifts himself up off of you, plunking himself into a criss-cross applesauce position. He proffers a hand, and you yelp out a giggle as he yanks you back up into a sitting position.

“I missed those lips.” He says affectionately. “They might be my very favourite thing.

“They missed you too. I didn’t realize how much I needed that.” You tip your head back, letting your head fall softly against the soft padding of the couch. “I feel like I haven’t be able to BREATHE lately…I’m so sorry if felt like I forgot about you.”  You reach for his hand, entwining your fingers with his in a grateful squeeze.

“Nah. I could never feel like that, love. You know I like to dick around, but it’s all in fun”, he chuckles. He adjusts himself, leaning forward, and his fingertips are slowly tracing those warm, soothing patterns into the soft inner crease of your arm again, just the way you love it.  “I’m so fucking proud of you for all this. I never did Uni, I could never pull all this off. You’re gonna kick the shit out of these finals, innit?? You kick the shit out of EVERYTHING.”

This man. Your heart seems to be connected to that lump in your throat again, you just…love him.  He always has your back, and always seems to know exactly what to say, or do, to pull you back from the brink. He is a keeper, and if you have anything to say about it, you’re not ever letting go.

You grin at him, and tug his scruff, guiding his face to yours. “I love you too, Teddy.”  You press a kiss to those lips, feeling the smile that’s spreading across his face, and you’re both giggling as the kisses turn into silly pecks and smooches.

You press hand to his chest and push him back to his side of the couch, and reach for the forgotten MacBook that’s fallen to the floor.

“I need a shower.” You stretch as you flick the screen back, reminding yourself where you left off. You glance at the adorable, scruffy man across from you, and raise an eyebrow.  “Give me another half hour, and maybe you’d care to join me…?”  

He face scrunches up and his eyes widen, and you can tell he is ALL about that invitation.  

“Only if I get to wash that pretty bum…” he says with a naughty grin.  

You lean forward and catch his lips in a quick kiss, before whispering “You can wash whatever you want, Teddy.”

COMMENTS/FEEDBACK are Loooove! 

*MASTERLIST Here*

[raguna-blade]

Revolutionary Girl Utena Episode 16-20

Welp, after last weeks hot bullshit, things have taken a minor upshot. Minor, in that things are still uh... Well.

Episode 16

GODDAMNIT AGAIN? ITS BEEN LIKE TWO EPISODES?

What hell is coming this time. C'mon. I got it. I'm cool. We're ready.

...Anthy late night infomercials....Uh. Curious choice of entertaintment.

Nanami's about to get called out for infomercial shopping sin't she?

Yep.

Juri immediately rolls in and styles on everyone.

Nanami's about to try and pass this. uh...cowbell off as jewelery

and

God. She's trying. She's trying so hard.

And I know anthy is behind this somehow. But damn Nanami. You're...Well...

Ok, so so far the filler hasn't been filler and is she just wearing the duelist suit out and about?

For real though, if the filler thing holds.

Oh she just admits it's a designer cowbell. Ok. Well...Damn. She's got the mad confidence to try and pull this off. Go her then. Fuck all the haters.

But still and for real, it's a cowbell nanami.

Oh hey it's the boy. Mitsuru trying his best.

Utena trying to spit the truth and people pulling bullshit trying to silence the truth.

….What. What the hell is going on here. She got turned into a cow...? There's..There's a song?

And we got the mad silhouettes. Her last meal?

Her last meal? God, i'm not sure I want to try and analyze this episode right now. I'm 100% sure the context won't occur until like the last episode or some shit but.

Is...Is she...Is she turning into a cow...? by wearing the bell...?

SHADOW GIRLS? OFF BRAND SHADOW GIRLS

muck my life are the filler episodes just supposed to be keys dressed up stupidly so we don't look at em closely.

And they're just..They're just going fucking in on this aren't they.

Why the hell did he go to Anthy and Utena. Mitsuru what do you knowwwwwwwwwwwwww

...Is she legit fucking cursed with this (Apparently?) pretty ass bell.

REAL SHADOW GIRSL? Squeak queak mouse girls...Uh..

Uh...Wait, with anthy as mouse thing last episode what is...what is happening.

Nanami slowly becoming  a cow.

Utena: Take the Cowbell off Anth-Nananmi.

Oh my god it is a fucking metaphor. It's...

Oh my god oh my god it is. Utena's spiel here sounds a lot like STOP PRETENDING TO BE A ROSE BRIDE BEING A ROSEBRIDE OR WHATEVER.

Also...Seeing Red and flipping out is a Bull thing, so the Rosebride thing is 100% and she just turned into a fucking cow..

And the imagery with the cutting the cowbell off and nanami turning...normal reads like a black row.

Chasing Status Symbols is BS: JURI FULL OF THE BLING

Anthy 100% DID THIS ON PURPOSE. The Nose Ring.

Ah next episode. Trifling territory once more.

Episode 17

Old Girlfriend(Crush?) Blues?

Juri just out here beastin on people. So Business as usual.

Oh, that's the face of shit about to go down.

And She just fucking dipped. I'm sure it was fine.

People can just LEAVE Ohtori? That's a thing?

Shiori: I did in fact, fuck up real bad. Also I don't got a roommate which is...

oh Hey, it's Dude Anthy and Utena.

Hurting yourself on Purpose...? huh.

Nanami out here questioning people's gimmicks.

….Is..Is the sword thing supposed to be sexual? Oh god. How the fuck did I miss that. Also Nanami, please stop aping your brother it's weird.

Shiori, you LEGIT stole her man. Which she wasn't even into, but god.

Did that Bird Kill itself running into the window? Uh...? uhhhhhhhhh.

Utena. You..you do not know what you're stepping into god.

OH GOD PLEASE JUST STAY AWAY FROM HIM. I AM BEGGING YOU.

Talking about Innocence and purity. UUUUUUUUUUGH.

YES THANK GOD SHOWER OF SADNESS SO MUCH BETTER.

….Oh fuck is Juri about to get got by the Black Rose jerks?

Oh, this is not how she wanted this to go down

FUCK HELLINTERVIEW TIME

Hated Juri. ok.

What's with the butterfly regression. Dear god. These freak outs are just...

Your only choice is to revolutionze, hey, no, that's super not fucking true. That's some edgecase bullshit. Uuuuuugh.

Uh. Uh. What the FUCK is going on with these roses I swear to god.

….Have all of these been in her goddamn locker?

….Whats...what? Wait did she just acknowledge the shadow girls? Assuming I just didn't miss it is it like...Utena getting closer understanding to...Whatever weird bullshit magic field that exists in ohtori?

….Birds huh. Are the black roses supposed to be like...I guess the Jungian Shadow thing? Huh.

EVEN LIGHT MAKES DARKNESS? What the...

Wait, does sword stealing grant the sword's....owner? Their talent? Anthy...?

Also, are we EVER going to get a reaction to the weirdness.

Bird in the oven. And...Juri just waking up

Wait a fucking second. Anthy just offerred up...analysis? Of a person? Conversation partner.

Episode 18

Nanami out here asking the real fucking questions. WHY SO SERIOUS GUYS THIS SHITS OBJECTIVELY HILARIOUS.

Oh god is Mitsuru the next duelist? Is Utena Going to fight an EVEN YOUNGER CHILD?

ROSES ARE VERY SENSITVE TO THE CHANGES OF THE SEASONS. Given the roses seem to be kinda like...people representatives that's..

Also, Anthy, sympathizing with the boy who wants to be the...servant? Boytoy? What.

Also, why is nanami consistently got the fucking reads when she isn't up her own ass?

Mitsuru ACT LIKE A KID, says nanami.

Mitsuru: It's...Just a banana. I don't get it. BUT THE INDIRECT KISS THOUGH.

Mikage Seminar. AGAIN.

Those Three Dudes. Wait.

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. PLEASE DON”T

AKIO: AS THE STARS AGE THEY LOSE THEIR SHINE.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaajustdon'tstopscreaming.

...wait elevato-no. But we got a black rose. Are...

Wait are the black roses specific people or are they more generalized.

Mitsuru is trying so hard. He's a hardcore kid, but he's trying damnit.

Girl: This is gonna end badly. You're Real Dumb

Proven Right Immediately. She's got the reads.

Mitsuru: ADULT THINGS! BEIN AN ADULT!

Nanami, are you jealous? Of a Kid?

Nanami: you shouldnt be in a rush. You don't gotta be an adult.

OH BOY ELEVATOR TIME.

Mitsuru has such a crush, it's cute and he doesn't know what to do and he's just gotta ride those feels. Puberty is apparently rough for him.

Mitsuru break the world fuck it.

Uh...the framing here is...um. Disquieting in a weird way?

KNIFE AND SWORD and what the fuck is with the rose...?

Shadow Time: The Metaphor is uh...pretty on the nose here.

And Utena is 100% reacting to the shadow girls.

Anywya, time to beat up a child.

Oh he just fucking oes. Just like Nanami in fairness but.

Wait. Heed your master and come forth. Like the phrasing suggests the duelist but...Anthy is the one who calls the sword. Uh..hm.

Defeat the adults ahead of you that's an adult? Huh.

So, I checked it, but the bodies seem to be mirrors of the people who got dueled. So...That's interesting.

Did...Did nanami just catch feels from the kid? Ok. Well. Alright.

Episode 19

Wakaba Prince Dreams. Nice.

Wakaba gonna make someone a nice wife. Huh. Wakaba, don't take that out of his hands.

Onion Prince.

Brown Rose Wakaba? ok.

You...you gonna give that her? It's for her. Wakab, you of all should know better.

...Y'all got some history wakaba? Oh. She crushed on him when little. Baw.

HOW MANY TIMES ARE THEY GONNA REPEAT THAT!?

4 times?

Tatsuya tryin I guess, but hm. I sense a hellavator ride.

PLAYIN AROUND WITH ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENT.

POT MEET KETTLE God.

Please. Just...get out. I beg you. Anthy's there but...

Thinly Veiled BUT SECRET HEARTS: IMMEDIATELY VIEW ANTHY.

Wakaba, you've got guts for days, you got this just spit it out.

Utena don't call wakaba out like this.

Also, Her prince is REAL THANK YOU MUCH.

The Utena Tea Sip I need as a reaction gif. Just...

Damn Tats, you dense. Also, dumb. The Indirectness. Kid. Just...Tell her.

...So princes change from person to person? Huh.

THE FAKE OUT. Thank goodness. But Shadow girls. Uh...hm.

Are...are the tires..Princes...? Wha..

her reacting to the shadow girls is weirding me out hard.

Oh god is this gonna be a cute moment? OH THEYRE GETTING CLOSER!

WHOA THE FAKE OUT AGAIN.

TATSUYA YOU STAY OUT OF THERE GODDAMNIT

Hooboy.Hellavatored.

Uh...Uh tats. You...

Wait, is the elevator going up?

Huh. So...The Elevator is praying on darkness? OK.

SAIONJI IS BACK. THATS WAKABA'S PRINCE!

So...That might work poorly. Or maybe it'll be fine?

That's A Dueling Wakab, so no, not great.

Episode 20

Wait, is Saionji just bumming at her house? Dorm room?

Saionji confirmed to be attractive to many so...MK.

...Are they off campus?

She's legit storing this boy in her room.

I...ok. That home exchange was weird.

I can't tell if Saionji is pulling a woe is me thing or if he's legit had a turn of heart.

I mean I guesss he's had to think things through.

JUST PRAYING TO GOD. SUPER RELIGIOUS YEP SUPES TOTES INTO GOD YEAH

...How is he glistening like that.

But Wakaba, like he's still a dick. So...What...how. Do you just got the bad taste?

As Long as I have this secret I'm special! Oh...hoooooooooooboy.

Oh no, saionji sounds jerky still. Oh no. maybe it's fine.

...Is...Is she his sugar momma. And apparently this caused wakaba to just go super mode somehow so that's...interesting.

The lighting here is making this otherwise innocuous exchange weird.

Why are you doing a back bridge in this room? Also...please. Get out of there.

Saionji...? That's..actually kinda sweet. STILL GOT A BAD VIBE GOIN ON HERE.

Saionji asking bout the student council. And...he asked about anthy. Welp. Welllllp.

Welp. Oh no. wakaba. Wakabaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Mikage how the hell did you get there?

Saionji, immediately on the uptake.

HELLAVATOR TIME. Also, damn saionji, you given out the same gift?

I seem to recall Wakaba slapping Anthy, so that's just foreshadowing now.

Oh she looks like she's gonna murder.

Saionji gave mikage the thing so....

SHE JUST GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT

SHADOW TIME

Marriage uh..ok.

Also, Saionji is, in fact, a fucking dip, but he does at least seem to have a solid grasp on gift giving. Or at least what's owed and such, even if he misses the value of things. So...Ok, credit where it's due.

Wait, that was a shinai right? Is this...is this Utena Vs Saionji from the otherside now? With Utena as the Established duelist with the weird sword?

Yeah that's a face of shock.

Anthy: GET SWORD RIGHT THE FUCK NOW DO IT NOW HOLY SHIT DO IT NOW.

Wakaba CAME IN TO KILL ANTHY FUCK THIS DUEL SHIT.

SHE IS NOT REMOTELY PLAYING AROUND. Nanami? Playing games. Wakaba? NOT FUCKING AROUND IN THE LEAST.

Second Duel(?) Utena has won without the cursed ass holy sword thing. I think. Third. Rather.

Saionji feelin himself.

Poor wakaba. She looks so...done.