#about myself and about sex

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[mrtequilasunset]

Listen man, you guys can't be like "you guys need to be normal about asexuality" and then turn around and get weirdly judgemental when you find out someone doesn't have sex by choice. Like that's weird that some of you do that.

[timecrack]

little rant incoming

[inkskinned]

you have to be sexy but you have to be sexy in a way that's kind of bloody. you learn this early because you are wearing a ruffled skirt and the snow around your ankles kicks little sand particles against your calves. baby's first catcall. welcome to sexiness! welcome to the eyesore of your own body!

you have to be sexy like high heels. like sculpted eyebrows. like lean stomach and highly treated hair. you have to be sexy like youth is sexy, which means you have to be sexy like boxtox and plastic. a 30 year old can be sexy but she's not going to be bloody, and they like the bloodiness of it. a 30 year old is sexy when she is a whiskey glass and a wooden desk.

but you need to be sexy like an open mouth. you need to be sexy like a bitten apple. like plucked skin and white-knuckling the waxing kit.

so sex is a performance, not an enjoyment. for a while, you just assumed everyone else was also in on the joke - nobody actually likes sex that much, right? like, some men probably do, but why would you? it is like a gender - your gender is sexy. your gender is the performance of sex. you are thigh highs and garter belts. which, to be fair, do make you feel sexy.

part of what does make sex good is that you can tell that other people want you, which means the performance of sexiness is both bloody and wanted, which is good, which means you are winning at having a body. being wanted is the prize. being wanted is the thing you are searching for, not hope. you think you are looking for a soft grave in easy loam, but that is bloody but not sexy. to be sexy you must be bloody like a red open sign. bloody like a handprint. this will make you wanted.

any wanted or unwanted body is subject to supply and demand, which is to say that the more demand, the better you are valued. you must be highly demanded to be valued. this is stated in matter-of-fact by some men. sometimes it is a priest that says it, and sometimes it is a podcaster, and sometimes it is the 45th president of the united states of america.

(if you do not have any experience with being told your value, i want you to grab the nearest bird to you and i want you to crush it into a thin paste in your hand. spit into the center, and then hold your fingers closed tight around it for days and days, long after the rot has set in. feel bones itch inside of your fist. this is only a fraction of what it actually feels like, but it will suffice for a moment.)

good sex feels like you have earned their desperation. you have earned your own value. for a while you operated under the understanding that everyone knew about the power structure, even him. that their desire to take you - the violence of it - means that you must desire to be caught. little prince, guardian fox - you would rather have cut your own arm off. you liked the secret, cunning little voice you keep tucked into a box. you think you are fucking me. i am not even here right now. you are fucking what i conned you into perceiving. this is a painting, not a person. dominion over the body before all things.

so you bend your body like a wheat shaft and learn the steps so perfectly that it almost seems graceful. (if you do not have experience faking your own connection to your body and sexuality, cut each of your articles of clothing just a little bit incorrectly. pour fishbones into each of your meals. this way, you will experience the average noon on a tuesday.)

you have to be sexy like light spilled over a desk, but not desperate. not a noose. you can't be sexy like an electric guitar, you are the acoustic. you have to be on top of the bull but you can't have control over the animal.

okay, okay. the little rabbit of your heart went to sleep so long ago that winter has ravaged your concept of the human soul. there's something very-bad inside you, something that has taken over, a little fetid and rabid animal, angry and hurting and willing to bite first.

oh but even that's a pain that's sexy. open your mouth. be careful not to let the canines show.

[itsaceokay]

I feel like people don't often fully appreciate how hard dating can be for demisexuals.

It just hit me the other day when I found out that most people are kissing by the first date and having sex by the third and to me that is just wild. And apparently, some people wait up to three months before having sex and that's seen as like a really long time and I'm sorry but is everyone okay???

After three dates a person is still a stranger and after three months they're at most an acquaintance - and people are not willing to wait longer and you'll be seen as unreasonable if you want to wait for a year or more??

[sergle]

Aw man I love city folk so much

[fizpup]

valentine, you're a horse ❤️

[aconfusedkitten]

okay, as someone on both the ace and aro spectrums, there is nothing wrong with shipping aroace characters.

it is a Spectrum, and just like there are sex favorable aces, sex neutral ones, and sex averse ones (or people like myself who are somewhere in between!), there is more than one way to identify as aro. for fucks sake, please stop harassing people in fandom for shipping things because it doesn't fit your definition of what being aroace means.

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

you know, as an asexual who still enjoys viewing sexual content in like books fanfiction and films and things, it's all fun and games until I remember that people actually DO THOSE THINGS?? LIKE IN REAL LIFE?? REGULARLY??🧍🏻‍♂️like WHAT DO YOU MEAN SEX ISNT A FANFICTION TROPE??? 😭 crazy out here man

[foldingfittedsheets]

I LOVE your sex shop stories so much and how you tell them with just the right amount of frankness and spice without being salacious. bit envious too tbh, i love telling stories but all mine are horrid (fleeing family after being outed, becoming survival sex worker) or kind of gross (sex party with bukkake slip n slide) so i just..dont tell stories from my life. sorry if this is tmi just want to express my appreciation

Honestly, there’s stories I don’t tell. Things that are really rough or that I don’t want to share, but it’s really all about finding the lens through which people can relate to something. Like a dramatic reenactment of having to kill a spider isn’t an experience unique to me, I just told it in a relatable way.

If you wanna share stories, there’s always an angle.

[kisspire]

desperate doms are sooooo cute. like awww you’re trying to give me commands but you’re all red-faced and squirmy. how are you supposed to tease me if all you can think about is how close you are to leaking?

ooooo or maybe it just makes the dom snappier. more rough with the sub because they’re sooo preoccupied with Piss Thoughts TM. both really good honestly

[my-yr-of-lust-an-selfdestruction]

[aro-bird]

Hey, hot tip: if an aspec person says that they don't want to do [romantic/sexual thing] because they're repulsed by it, or that they don't want to see [romantic/sexual thing] (even in fiction and/or fandom) because they're repulsed by it, and you as a fellow aspec decide to comment "Well, I'M [aspec identity here] and I like [romantic/sexual thing]!" You may just be an asshole.

By all means, do [romantic/sexual thing] and enjoy it as much as you like, it does not mean you aren't part of the community at all but for fucks sake leave repulsed people's personal posts alone

[music-for-them-asses]

Purity culture is so "fun" because you can't even talk to your therapist about the damage it's done without feeling ashamed or embarrassed.

[satancopilotsmytardis]

I write for 2 reasons: The Horny and The Bit

"But what about the character development?" I develop characters for the justification of why that man likes to be called "babygirl" and have 6 tentacles up his ass.

"What about the angst?" I said what I said!! The angst is incidental. Things are funnier when there are lower lows. Angst is a seasoning that compliments the humor

"What about the dark fics???" I never said the bit was always a nice joke. The bit can be 'wouldn't that be fucked up tho?'