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magneticecstasy · 2 months

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clandestine ✤ joel miller part ii — crushcrushcrush

series masterlist & foreword | ao3

moodboard is not an illustration of how reader should look, just for the ~vibes~

fic summary: it’s september 2016, you're in your final year of sixth form college and joel miller joins the teaching staff as your new history teacher. over the course of the academic year, boundaries are blurred, crossed and ruined when joel begins to reciprocate your insatiable crush on him; what should be so wrong just feels so right.

rating: E | pairing/AU: teacher!joel x student!fem!reader

chapter warnings/tags: (7.1k) this is an 18+ fic so mdni! dubcon (due to student/teacher relationship, both parties are consenting otherwise), age gap (reader is 18, Joel is in his early 30s), power imbalance, inappropriate relationships (teacher!Joel is really not a good teacher), fetishization of new-adulthood, some pervy!Joel, dacryphilia, solo m!masturbation (Joel jacks off in a school bathroom, dirty bastard), solo f!masturbation, wet dreams (mentioned), pet names (Joel calls reader darlin’, sweetheart etc.), minimal description of fem!reader where possible, reader has hair and is generally able-bodied, otherwise undescribed where possible, Tommy is mentioned and is 2 years younger than Joel

a/n: thank you to those who read and enjoyed part one!! i'm absolutely over the moon with all the comments, reblogs and likes!!! it warms my lil heart right up! chapter title comes from crushcrushcrush by paramore but also overlaps with crush by ethel cain which i've been listening to relentlessly when writing this fic. we get more joel this chapter, i hope i'm doing him justice lol - also i mention the epq a million times in this chapter - it's a qualification where you do an extended project that you have to do in sixth form and it's a fucking ballache so everyone hates doing it, trust me

account tags (tagging people who asked and people who seemed interested in chapter one, let me know if you'd like to be added): @sugadolly @yorkshirewench @jodiswiftle @pedgito @mel2fine @canteenee4 @dugiioh @undercoverpena @javiermillerrrr @littlemisspascal

banners and graphics from @saradika-graphics

Thursday 17th October

6:30am

As the weeks of the new term pass, the season changes. The balmy days of September merge into the typical chill of October. Long daylight hours surrender to darker nighttides, elongating the late autumn evenings. Its mornings are darker, sunrise commencing later and later as each day passes. The drop in temperature, though gradual, is noticeable, making the warm cocoon of your bed all the more inviting when your blaring alarm disrupts your blissful sleep. With great reluctance, you pull yourself from the inviting nest and pull the covers back in a haphazard attempt of making your bed. It feels a little pointless as you’ll only be getting back in it later tonight but you don’t want your mum to nag. Making your way to the bathroom, the laminate floor of the hallway beneath your bare feet makes you cringe with its cool touch. The tiles in the bathroom are colder but you decide to suck it up and jump in the shower as a warm place of refuge.

Your carefully crafted shower playlist echoes, a cacophony of sound that's a ritual to your morning routine: shower, get ready, breakfast, drive to college. Using the shower like your own personal recording studio, you sing along like nobody’s listening as you wash your body with sweet smelling soaps, the music helping to calm you before the busy day ahead. A knock at the bathroom door startles you cold. It nearly sends you slipping on the shower’s floor.

“Don’t be in there all day, Mum and I need to get ready too, you know,” your dad grumbles from behind the door. You mumble out a response, rolling your eyes, letting him know that you’ll be out soon. You wash the remnant bubbles of body wash left on your body before switching off the shower and drying off with a rough towel. Wrapping it around yourself, you exit the bathroom and return to your bedroom.

Like any other teenager’s room, it’s untidy. A pile of laundry in a basket threatens to overflow—you make a mental note to deal with it when you get home tonight. The main source of mess is concentrated on and around your desk, textbooks and folders stacked one upon another like a tower on one side with notebooks in a scattered pile on the other with your closed laptop in the middle. The past few weeks of term brought with it a tsunami of work and you’d manage to tread water in the sea of revision, coursework and homework but it was tiring trying to keep on top of college plus everything else and your room was evidence of that.

Conscious of the time, you get ready with haste, applying a light amount of makeup (to avoid sanctions for ‘wearing too much’) and pull on your uniform: a crisp button-up shirt tucked into a pleated plaid skirt, dark tights and shoes, tie, and a fitted blazer that bore the college’s emblem on the breast. You look at yourself in the full length mirror, inspecting yourself, readjusting your tie so it doesn't look completely ridiculous and rolling up your skirt a few times so it hits just above of your knee. The uniform isn’t much to your taste but it could be much worse. Satisfied, you pack your bag with the notebooks you need for the day and head downstairs for breakfast.

The clock in the kitchen shows that it’s past half 7 and it hurries your pace. You make some toast lathered in butter and eat it hurriedly before calling out goodbye to your parents and rush out the door. A silent prayer passes to your lips as you get in your car, hoping that it’ll start with no issues. Turning the ignition, the car sputters to life, thank god. Moving into gear, it creeks as you roll out of the driveway and drive to college.

9:17am

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you seethe under your breath.

Holding an essay that you’d completed a fortnight ago for Mr Hall, the other History teacher, you almost crumple it with how tight you grip the papers. It’s littered with red squiggles of Mr Hall’s sloppy handwriting, taunting you as if it were hyperfocusing on every little mistake you’ve ever made. Shuffling through the essay’s pages, scanning its contents, a laugh of disbelief erupts from the back of your throat. The final comment scrawled on the last page nearly sends you over the edge with indignation:

I don’t think you’ve grasped the concept of this topic very well. Try harder next time. Grade: 11/25.

Bullshit. In an attempt to prove yourself to the despised teacher, you made sure that your spelling and grammar was immaculate and even asked Mr Miller to proofread for you as a favour. In the short few weeks since his arrival, you’d built up a good rapport with the new teacher. It was inevitable with the way he was, his charming allure drawing you to him. It also helped that you found him earth-shatteringly attractive.

You watched him in anticipation as he read your work, feeling the tips of your ears grow hot. It’s probably shit, you think. Pure rubbish. After a while, he put you out of your misery.

“This looks good to me, darlin’,” he drawls, his praise sending an involuntary shiver through your body, “really good, actually. It’s well-written, concise, and has what appears to be thorough source analysis,” he compliments, his thick fingers gliding over the paragraphs, as he focuses on the text. “This is miles better than some of the stuff I use’ta grade when I was teaching at the university and those were meant t’be college level,” he scoffs, returning the papers back to you.

His fingers lingered a little too long as they graze against yours, sending sparks of electricity through your body.

“You mean it? You’re not just saying that to not hurt my feelings, right?” you ask nervously, unsure of yourself.

“‘Course. I don’t mess around, darlin’. Let me know what you get. ‘Be interested to know.”

Noticing your displeasure, Chelsea nudges you. “You alrigh’?” she inquires, her voice low to avoid anyone overhearing.

“That man is taking the absolute piss. Look at this shit.” You shove the paper across the desk for her to read. She reads through the essay without a sound, concentrating.

“What the hell, 11 out of 25? Lemme check mine, I haven’t seen it yet,” she says and reads through her own work, confusion dawning on her face. “I got 16 out of 25? But yours was way more detailed. Doesn’t make sense. Yours is at least a B, surely?”

“Well, according to dickhead over there, it’s an E.” Exasperated, you take the essay from her and shove it in your bag. You just can’t fucking win with this man; it feels like he’s determined to undermine and belittle you at every turn. Even on results’ day back in August, he barely acknowledged you, only offering a curt ‘well done’. Before you can rant further, Mr Hall beckons the class for their attention and begins his lesson. Throughout the rest of the period, you seethe like a pot over a flame, slowly simmering, threatening to overflow.

10:50am

As soon as the bell goes, you dart out of the classroom with little regard for Mr Hall and his hollers, berating you for leaving his class without waiting to be dismissed. If you stayed a second longer in that classroom, you were sure to explode. Unbothered by his threat of a detention, you storm down the corridor with reckless abandon. Wanting to be anywhere else right now, the thought of jumping in your car and skiving the rest of the day was tempting. Tears of frustration threaten to fall and the mist of anger clouds your mind so much that you’re startled when you slam hard into someone’s chest as you round the corner.

“Ow! Watch where you’re going, you fuckin—” you launch into berating the person but stop abruptly when you realise who you’d collided with, your face scorching with embarrasment.

Mr Miller stands before you, his broad frame towering over you. He let out a husky laugh, his eyes glinting with a teasing warmth.

“Easy, sweetheart, you rushing to the canteen or somethin’?” You stay silent, afraid the tears in your eyes would spill if you said anything. It takes a moment for him to grasp the distress etched on your face.

“Talk to me, darlin’, what’s wrong?” His voice is low, as concern blooms across his face. The corridor begins to fill with students, its temperature rising and absolutely not helping with your impending meltdown. A heaviness settles in your eyes, and thick tears soon spill down your cheeks without warning. How embarrassing.

Without a moment's hesitation, Joel has a strong arm around you as he whisks you away into his classroom that’s just up the corridor, doing his best to shield you from prying eyes. Ushering you in and closing the door behind him, he pulls a chair from under a desk close to his and beckons you to sit down. Slumping into the rigid chair, you let the frustrated tears flow.

“Ugh, he’s such a fucking asshole!” you groan in resentment, your voice breaking as you bury your face in your hands and sob uncontrollably, finally giving in to your emotions. Joel stays silent save for a soft I know, darlin’, it’s gonna be okay, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder, thumb softly tracing circles to soothe you. As your tears gradually slow and you start to regain your composure, he positions his leather office chair in front of you and sits down comfortably in the plush seat.

“Tell me what’s happened that’s got you so upset. Was it those boys again?” he asks softly, though sounds disgruntled at the thought of those idiots bothering you again.

“No, no,” you utter whilst using the sleeve of your blazer to wipe away any stray tears. “You know that essay I showed you? Well, I got the grade back off Mr Hall. 11 out of 25. An E.” Your voice wavers, a stray tear falling down your warmed cheek.

His eyes widen with utter disbelief, but he doesn’t interrupt. The gaze of his delicious brown eyes is unwavering as he listens to you, providing you with a safe space to vent your resentment.

“I just don’t understand what his fucking problem is. He’s always talking down to me, shitting on whatever I hand in, giving me crappy feedback. Like if my work is so bad, at least help me with providing constructive criticism, it’s literally his job,” you express, waving your arms in exasperation, hands chopping through the air as if to slice through the grievance.

“Yeah, I don’t like him but I try to be as respectful as I can, y’know. I’m just so tired of the bullshit.” You let out a loud sigh, feeling the weight of the issue begin to dissolve from your tense shoulders.

Joel shuffles in his chair before he moistens his lips with a short flit of his tongue, thinking thoroughly before he approaches his next question: “How long has this been going on?”

“I dunno, since last year.”

“You got the essay with ya?”

“Yeah, lemme grab it.” You rifle through your heavy bag, searching. It takes a second but you find it.

“Thank you, darlin’,” he coos with a slight but comforting smile, taking the papers from you. He twists back to grab his glasses from the desk behind him elongating his body to reach them.

The front of his button-up shirt comes untucked in the process, revealing a glimpse of his soft, somewhat imperceptible trail of hair descending from his soft abdomen that beckons your curiosity and desire. It draws your eyes, each subtle curve and line a tender reminder of his natural magnetism. Paired with the groan that escapes his lips as he stretches behind, this sight feels obscene to observe.

Warm arousal pools low in your tummy, and you feel wet slick begin to permeate the soft folds of your cunt. Biting your plump lip, your thighs clench, seeking any solution to relieve the slow building pressure in your core. It does nothing but wind you up tighter like an iron spring, threatening to burst. You tear your ogling eyes away before he notices and you cross your legs in a last ditch attempt to find reprieve, your skirt hitching a little higher revealing more of your pantyhose-covered thighs; it’s not purposeful, but it isn’t accidental either. He slips the glasses on, sneaking a glance at you in that damn skirt before reading through the papers.

Joel's immediate reaction to reading the essay was parallel to yours: what the fuck? He had heard about Anthony Hall's reputation around the college; Hall was disliked by the majority of staff whilst the students absolutely despised him. Sure, Hall had always been polite enough to him in department meetings and casual encounters, but Joel had sensed something was off about him. Joel was never one to judge someone immediately based on rumour or appearance, he had just thought that Hall was just a bit of a weird guy, awkward and antisocial. However, holding your essay covered in some of the harshest feedback he'd ever seen as a lecturer and teacher, Joel reached his conclusion: Anthony Hall is a douchebag.

“Jesus Christ…” he breathes, flicking through the essay. Some of these comments didn’t even make sense to what you had been writing about, they were just nasty. Joel wondered if Hall had been drunk or high when marking your essay. Possibly both. The more he read, the more his heart ached for you. He’d come to know how hardworking you were in his few weeks at the college, always asking questions to deepen your understanding of certain topics in lessons, often staying behind to pick his brains about what he thought about a topic.

Whether it was to genuinely seek his opinion or simply to have an excuse to talk to him alone, he didn’t mind. He cherished your company in any capacity. He found your expression endearing as you focused on the tasks he set, your brow furrowing slightly with concentration, and the way you bit your lip when faced with a challenging question was something he found particularly alluring. Your soft laughter at his corny jokes, even when the rest of the class would roll their eyes, felt like an intimate connection between the two of you.

The way your hips moved when you approached his desk to ask a question set his heart racing and watching you leave, your skirt swaying, teased him to no end, stirring an inquisitiveness about what lay beneath. He couldn’t help but notice that you sometimes rolled up your skirt making it shorter, and silently hoped you did that just for him—and it drove him absolutely crazy. These subtle gestures, whether intentional or not, kept his thoughts occupied, leaving him to navigate a delicate balance between professional restraint and his own personal curiosity.

“So what do you think? Is he right or…?” you trail off, breaking the silence. Joel hadn’t realised that he hadn’t said anything for a while, the incredulity of the essay situation overcoming him.

“I’m just speechless, honestly. I ain’t ever seen anything like it. Barely know where to begin…” He falters, a kink in his self-assured armour he so often wore with pride. Your stomach drops and worry sets in for a moment. Sensing your insecurity, he endeavours to repair the armour.

He flashes a sweet smile, an eyebrow slightly raised for a moment, revealing soft crows feet that grace the outer corner of his espresso brown eyes. “But I can tell you that this is a fantastic essay. It ain’t fair the way he’s graded it. I can tell you that for free, darlin’,” he pauses a moment. “I’m gonna talk to him about this,” waving the essay nonchalantly, “if you’re happy for me to do so, ‘course,” his steady gaze meeting with yours.

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna cause…” The rest of your words die in your mouth as Joel’s gazes intensifies as if to command you to lay your trust with him. Understanding, you nod, fidgeting with the bits of skin around your nails. As his look softens, his eyes glisten as the sunlight hits the flicks of toffee and golden honey tones of his orbs in the most delicious way.

“Alright, you talk to Mr Hall, just please leave out the bit where I had a menty b.” You let out a nervous laugh, shuffling around in your seat.

“The hell is a menty b?” He scoffs, ever confused by the way young people communicate these days. It was bad enough at home in Austin with teen colloquialisms, but British slang was a different beast altogether for Joel. It was like a new language that often forced him to wade through an unknown branch of the English lexicon when he conversed with his students and staff alike.

“Mental breakdown, duh,” You smirked, a teasing grin creeping across your lips, “you coulda guessed that one easy if used your head.” Rolling your eyes in a dramatic fashion, you wanted to tease him, wanted him to get wound up so much he had to pin you down and put you in your place. One day, maybe, for now that desire remains in your dreams.

“Hey—don’t let your mouth write a check your butt can’t cash.” He quips, playing along in this rally of dalliance.

You shoot him a playful but confused look. “What does that even mean?”

A quiet but teasing gruff chuckle escapes him. “Means don’t run your mouth ‘less you got the gall to back it up.” He quips, leaning back to chuck the essay on his desk.

The sliver of silky hair makes an appearance again and you have to take a deep breath to compose yourself as your clit swells with the want—no—the need for her to be touched. Sure you’ve had some less-than-stellar experiences that left you disappointed, aching for more, but this was a whole different kettle of fish. He’d barely laid a finger and had you a dripping, horny mess. If he only knew about the party in your panties when he taught you the concepts of American politics or the grounds for Regan’s war on drugs, you were sure he’d say you’re a bad girl and needed to be taught a lesson. And god, you wish he would.

“I’ve got the gall.” You challenge, arms crossed in juvenile defiance, playing it up.

“Ya think so?” Matching your energy, he readjusts himself in the plush leather office chair, leaning towards you. The tension in the air is palpable, thick like thunder, waiting for the lightning to strike.

Joel’s tone shifts, husky, pouring thick like honey. “Wanna put your money where your mouth is, darlin’?” He tests, kissing his teeth, that gaze pouring into you as he tilts his head slightly in curiosity, dark golden eyes flitting between yours and your lips.

Before you could respond, the bell cuts through the air like a jagged knife cutting you out of the moment like a butcher carving through a baron of meat. You let out a heavy sigh. EPQ is your next lesson and the thought of it makes you cringe.

“Fuck,” Joel mutters under his breath in a hope you won’t hear, his large palms falling to his lap with a soft slap, “best get to next lesson sweetheart. Don’t want you to be late, now, do we?”

Begrudgingly, you gather your things without much haste, not caring about being late. The day feels like a write-off to you at this point. Mr Miller walks you to the door, opening it for you—always the gentleman. Leaning casually against the door frame, his broad shoulders exude effortless rugged charm.

“Relax, alright? I'll handle it with Mr Hall. No need to worry your pretty little head, okay?”

“I won’t, I promise. Thank you, sir.”

And with that, you shuffle along to third period. You forget about the essay for a while, smiling to yourself, revelling at the fact that Mr Miller called you pretty. It makes the day that little bit easier to deal with.

11:32am

Closing the door behind you, Joel resigns himself to his desk, letting out a gruff sigh, thumb and finger massaging the bridge of his aquiline nose. He hated to see you so down and upset, but you looked so goddamn pretty with tears streaming down your face. Sordid illicit imaginings of you cloud his mind, his growing erection straining against his trousers, a pertinent reminder that he is probably—definitely—absolutely fucked.

Working in a college is hard work. Piles of marking. Countless meetings to attend. Difficult conversations to be had with students, parents and co-workers. The burden of it all could and would ruin some professionals without a way to relieve the stress. Some nights when Joel found himself needing release after a stressful day, you crept into his mind.

Deep down it was wrong to think of you like that, but it didn’t stop his mind from picturing how you’d feel around him, whether it’d be your soft mouth or sweet cunt. Before he had the chance to battle the moral ethics of it all, he’d be a panting mess, hand wrapped around his thick cock, fervently chasing a state of oblivion until he came hard with thick ropes of cum shooting across his soft belly, leaving him gasping for air.

The first time it happened, he was wracked with guilt for days afterwards, and couldn’t bear to meet your gaze the rest of that week, despite your best efforts to make conversation. He was getting it out of his system, that was all. He wouldn’t do it again. Or so he thought.

The next time he found himself chasing a sordid release was a day you wore your hair in two pigtails adorned with little pretty pink pom-poms.

Jesus Christ, she’s got to be doing this on purpose, right? She’s gotta know she’s being a goddamn tease.

He carried on the lesson as planned, trying to not let it affect him by thinking of dead puppies and suchlike but as soon the opportunity arose during lunch break, he escaped to the male staff toilet, locking himself in the lone cubicle.

It felt wrong, dirty, perverted and it probably was, to be truthful. But the thought of having you, something so forbidden, so illicit, clouded his judgement and made his dick harder. He pushed those criticisms to the back of his mind as he undid his belt and removed his thick, veiny cock from his pants in a swift motion. There was only a short window for him to get this over and done with.

Lazily pumping himself at first with the saliva he’d crudely spat in his hand, he relished in the pleasure, his eyes fluttering shut with sick thoughts of your smaller hand in place of his.

Fucking slut with them lil’ pigtails… she knows what she’s doing… gagging for this fucking cock.

Slow pumps quicken to fervent strokes, fabricated images of you on your knees for him taking him in your sweet mouth flashed in his mind.

Such a pretty girl taking my cock… good girl, that’s it… just like that.

A groan threatened to emerge from his throat and he bit his lip so hard he could taste copper which only spurred him on. Pearls of precum leaked from his slit, languid drops dripping down the head, mixing with his spit, a delicious slick coating his length. That familiar tug in his stomach and twitching dick signalled the beginning of the end, and he had to prop himself up with his other hand against the wall of the cubicle to steady himself as he tugged his cock with reckless abandon.

You want my cum in that pretty little mouth huh?… Fucking take it… F-fuuuuuck.

The peak of his release hit him like a tonne of bricks, blurring his vision. Ropes of cum spilled over the toilet seat and landed inside it with a few crude plops. He stroked his length through the aftershocks, panting and gasping for air, body writhing with oversensitivity. After coming down from the high, he took a moment to realise what he’d just done. Jerked off at the thought of you, a student, in the bathroom like some dirty pervert—fuck’s sake Joel. Shame surged through his veins like heroin, the guilt blooming through his body.

Before Joel could contemplate his actions further, he heard the door of the bathroom slam open. Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck. With great haste, he wiped away the evidence of his sordid release from the seat and flushed it away, wishing he could do the same with the guilt decimating his conscience right now. His hands were trembling as adrenaline merged with shame whilst he tucked himself away, zipping his trousers up and re-buckling his belt. Sweat had made his soft curls adhere to his forehead, his heart beating so hard that he believed it would burst out of his chest at any moment.

In an attempt to keep up appearances, he went to wash his hands and saw the last person he wished to see in a bathroom: Anthony ‘the smallest man that ever lived’ Hall. Joel offered a polite nod, not wishing to converse with the man and washed his hands under the scolding hot tap. It was the least he deserved after the stunt he just pulled.

“Are you okay, Joel? You look a bit out of sorts.” Hall asked with his nasally tone, whilst relieving himself in a urinal.

“‘M fine, thank you.” Joel’s tone was pointed, hinting that the conversion needed to be over, like yesterday.

Hall didn’t catch the hint, the stupid bastard. “It’s just you look a bit clammy… are you coming down with something?”

Oh, fuck off Anthony, not now.

“No, sir. If anything it’s just a cold.” He lies, anything to get the twat to stop talking to him whilst scrubbing his hands of sin.

“Well stay away from me then, I don’t want your yankee germs.” He guffaws at his own dumb joke. Joel forced a weak laugh out with every fibre of his being as he wrung his hands dry on some paper towel before discarding it in a bin.

Eager to escape the situation, Joel said a curt ‘see you later’ and slipped past before Hall could say anything further to him. He rushes back to his classroom, cheeks flushed, self-contempt coursing throughout his body. He coaches himself through the peril swirling through his mind: Pull yourself together, Joel, this has to stop, she’s just a girl. That’s the last time.

It’s about three days before he is choking his cock again at the thought of you, chasing that debauched oblivion again.

Monday 4th November

11:43am

It’d been a few weeks since Mr Miller promised to talk to Mr Hall about Essay-gate. That was the name you and Chelsea had given the affair; it seemed fitting as you’d learned about the Watergate scandal in the weeks since the incident. You didn’t want to pester him about the outcome of the conversation between the two teachers, fearing that you would be annoying him, but you thought you’d know by now at least.

It surprised you when you would come to find out the conclusion when Mr Miller knocks on the computer room door of your EPQ lesson, asking for you and instructing you to bring your things as you wouldn’t be coming back. You were more than happy to follow him. Quiet elation melts over you, grateful to be missing EPQ, not that you’d be doing a lot anyway apart from dicking around or browsing online. Arriving at his room, he placed your usual chair in front of his plush leather office chair. It feels a little silly but it warms your heart seeing the arrangement of chairs facing one another, a setup becoming all too familiar when you had your chats with the history teacher.

“We gotta stop meeting like this, darlin’,” he jokes teasingly, large hands running through his curls as he relaxes into his plush leather chair. A black button-up shirt hugs his body in all the right ways, emphasising his broad shoulders. The top button is undone, revealing a small birthmark that you long to kiss and nibble on. You laugh, giving him a look of incredulity—amused by his joke and distracted by how striking he looks in black. It almost makes you forget there’s a reason as to why you’re here in the first place.

“So, there’s some good news, and some bad news.” He begins, his large hands laced in one another. “Good news is Mr. Hall decided to re-evaluate your essay thanks to my… suggestion.”

Joel’s use of the word suggestion was a little white lie. He had actually torn Anthony a new one, launching into a scathing critique of the man’s grading, thoroughly deconstructing the other teacher’s justification for the low mark. In the end, it boiled down to Anthony’s preference in writing style, rather than the substance of the essay. His feebled reasoning angered Joel further, almost flying off the handle during the confrontation.

Joel had come well-prepared: leveraging on his past experience as a college and university lecturer and the mark scheme Hall should’ve been using to grade, Joel had compellingly demonstrated that your essay not only met but surpassed the required standards.

“And the bad news…?” you pry, bracing yourself for the worst.

“The old grade was submitted in the latest data-drop. Admin’s flagged you up for needing extra support in History until the next drop in about 6 weeks.” Joel looks at you carefully, gauging your reaction.

“The fuck?” Fucking Mr Hall causing shit again, goddamn. “Can’t he change it, it’ll literally take a second?”

“I tried, darlin’, but Admin’s locked the drops until the next window and I can’t get access to edit ‘em.”

“Fuck’s sake.” You sigh, swearing under your breath. “So lay it on me, what does this all mean?”

“‘Means that you gotta attend some sessions—like tutoring.”

“Ugh, so I’m stuck with Hall?” The thought of spending any more time than necessary with the man makes your skin crawl.

A quiet grin of delight creeps across Joel’s lips. “We decided that it’d be best for you to work with me, actually.”

Another white lie. When he found out you were getting extra tutoring, he wasted no time going to Admin to make sure you worked with him instead of Hall. Officially, this was justified by the ongoing animosity between the two of you. Unofficially, though, Joel’s real motivation was far more intimate, borderline voracious—he wanted you all to himself and was willing to pull every little string to make it happen. He knew full well you didn’t need the extra help; in fact, he knew you were more than capable. What he really wanted was the chance to be alone with you. He knew he was probably sick for wishing to spend so much time with his barely legal student, but his curiosity of the situation got the better of him. He wanted to see where this, whatever it was, was going and he was strapped in for the ride.

“So ya stuck with me for an extra few hours a week—ain’t you a lucky thing.”

He winks, and your breath catches in your throat. You try to clear it, hoping to disguise your reaction, but Joel is not fooled. He quietly savours the way your reactions betray you each time. He finds it endearing that you think you're discreet, clutching your crush on him like a poker hand, when Joel can see through your cards with ease.

“So how’s this going to work?” You ask after composing yourself, keen to find out the details of the arrangement.

“Hang on, lemme check the email Admin sent me.” He swivels around to his desk and logs into the computer. You notice the way he types, only using his pointer fingers to tap on each key. Such a boomer, you think, quietly laughing to yourself. Joel doesn’t notice, concentrating on hitting the correct key instead. Once logged in, he pulls up the email and reads the screen intently, scanning each line carefully.

“Alrigh’...” he draws out slowly, before turning to you, “according to this, you’ll be able to miss one EPQ lesson and the last 2 hours need to be taken out of your own study periods.” He draws his attention back to the computer, changing the window and revealing a document with a copy of his teaching timetable.

“I’ve got a free period this hour when you’re in EPQ so that could work. And I’m happy to have you in these periods here, here, here or here,” he explains, pointing at the empty cells in the timetable. You get your own timetable up on your phone to compare schedules.

After a lengthy discussion, you both decide that you’ll see him for an hour on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday where your study periods matched with his free ones. Mr Miller emphasises that you could bring any work with you to the sessions, not just History, as he was willing to help where he could. It was so kind of him to offer and it seemed that he genuinely wanted to help you succeed. He even gave you his phone number to contact him with any questions you had. You weren’t sure if he was allowed to do this but you didn’t care. Mr Miller had given you his phone number. You saved it under JM with a little sparkle emoji, concealing his identity in case of prying eyes.

The first text you sent at home that night was simple, yet your hands trembled as you typed and deleted it over and over, not wanting to sound like an idiot.

Thanks for agreeing to help me, I appreciate it :) just texting so you have my number too

After sending the message you buried the phone under your pillow, too anxious to watch and linger, waiting for his response. You’re surprised when his reply comes back within a few minutes.

my pleasure, darlin. can’t wait for our first proper session on wednesday. X

The message, punctuated by a kiss at the end, sends your heart into a flutter. You remind yourself he probably sends texts like that to everyone, not just you. Then, a second message arrives with a buzz, startling you and causing you to nearly drop your phone.

don’t forget the watergate worksheet tomorrow—ya gonna regret letting me have ur number when I’m nagging ya for homework haha. X

You begin to type with haste. Your fingers hover over the x key, debating on whether to return the gesture. Fuck it. No harm done, it’s just a letter after all.

Hahaha I won’t. See you tomorrow x

Within a minute, his response arrives.

see ya then. sweet dreams, darlin. X

You decide to leave it there and head to bed. As you slip into sleep, Mr Miller haunts your dreams: his rugged face, strong hands, broad shoulders, and deep caramel eyes are a tantalising vision. That night is the first of many dreams you have about him, leaving your soft folds drenched with longing when you wake.

Wednesday 20th November

12:31pm

The arrangement of additional tutoring worked out well. You got to miss an hour of EPQ and you were able to spend even more time with your favourite teacher. During the sessions, you were able to get your college work done whilst getting to know more about Mr Miller.

In your exchanges, you find out he grew up in Austin, Texas, with his younger brother Tommy. Tommy, a soldier turned contractor, founded Miller’s Construction after an honourable discharge from the US Army at 23. Mr Miller would help Tommy out during grad school summer breaks and whenever money was tight. Despite the long, gruelling days under the hot Texan sun, he enjoyed the hands-on work, something different from the realm of academia he found himself in. He’d graduated with a respectable bachelor's degree at 22 and then pursued a master's in American History and Politics. Working as a teacher’s aide during his master's program had ignited his interest in teaching, leading him to take up lecturing positions at community colleges and universities around Texas after grad school. Eventually, seeking new opportunities, he moved to the UK, where he worked at several universities. However, the insecurity of temporary contracts pushed him to switch to the further education sector, seeking the stability of a full-time salary. And that’s how he found himself teaching at your college.

You’re mesmerised by how he recounts his life—his eyes gleam with fondness when he speaks of Tommy, his voice comes alive as he recalls the wild nights in Austin with his younger brother when he was home from service, and he speaks openly about his initial fears of leaving home. Getting to know Mr. Miller on such an intimate level feels like a breath of fresh air; teachers often seem like distant robots, detached from their true selves. You never quite understood why.

Today’s session is like any other. After a long double period of English, you find your way to his classroom. He looks up as you enter, greeting you with a warm, inviting smile that makes the day’s stress melt away.

“Hey, ya ready for our session?” he smiles, that kind expression always so infectious that you felt your own lips curling.

“Gimme a sec, I just had back-to-back English and my brain feels like jelly. Who knew Shakespeare’s sonnets could be so confusing.” You sigh in exasperation, dropping your heavy bag on the desk closest to Mr. Miller’s with a thump. Rifling through it, you find your notebook and pencil case, then shuffle through the notebook for your university entrance essay drafts. With the UCAS deadline steadily approaching, you’re anxious to finish. You’re on what feels like the zillionth draft, and it’s driving you crazy. Mr. Miller noticed your frustration during your last tutoring session and encouraged you to bring it along this time so he could help. How kind of him.

You hand the drafts to Mr. Miller, who spends a few minutes reading through them, his brow furrowed in deep concentration. You watch him anxiously, your heart racing, as he writes comments in the margins. After what feels like an eternity, he hands the pages back to you. Your heart flutters at the sight of his positive feedback, the final comment punctuated with a smiley face: ‘This is great, darlin’, keep it up :)’

Warm stirs in your chest as you read over the comments, a coy smile tugging on your lips and you find yourself giddy with elation.

“Happy?” he muses, quietly pleased with your reaction. He felt good about making you happy, you deserve it after all considering the essay fiasco with Mr Hall.

“Yeah,” you respond, drawing your eyes away from the pages to meet his eyes, “I just had one question.”

His brow furrows, a little confused. “Sure, darlin’, shoot.”

“Why is it that you always call me dawrl-lin’?” you imitated his Texan drawl, narrowing your eyes. The nickname had intrigued you and you never heard him call anyone else so why not ask?

“Now, that was a terrible impression, ya need to stay in your lane.” He chortles at your inquisitiveness.

He pauses before revealing his answer.

“I only call pretty girls darlin’,” a smirk flashes on his lips, before realising what he’s implied and its implications. You feel your breath catch in the back of your throat and you suddenly feel hot.

Shit, he thinks, chastising himself. Y’done gone and crossed the line, you fuckin’ tool.

“It’s a-a Texas thing,” he attempts to justify himself, lying through his teeth. Joel's eyes widened like a deer in headlights. His mind was racing with the consequences of his behaviour. Reported. Investigated. Suspended without pay. Fired. Blacklisted from teaching. All because he couldn’t stop himself from running his mouth trying to flirt with you, and forgetting himself.

“‘m sorry if I was making you uncomfortable. I can stop if you wanna.”

In truth he didn’t wish to stop. He wished to whisper it over and over whilst he ravished your body, nibbling, biting, kissing you all over.

“It's okay, Mr Miller. I kinda like it,” you smile, glancing back at your work. You didn’t just like it though, you loved it. Texas thing or not, you were quietly delighted he’d given you a pet name that was reserved for you. He sounded so seductive whenever he called you darlin’ during class, in the corridors in between lessons, or during your one-on-ones, he had to know what he was doing, surely.

Every time darlin’ passes his lips, without fail, knots form in your tummy, affecting your ability to concentrate on occasion. Sometimes, when you were on your own late at night, save for the company of a bullet vibrator attached to your clit, the wicked imaginings of Mr Miller could and would often throw you over the precipice of bliss. You imagine him whispering darlin’ and sweet nothings in your ear whilst his calloused fingers skillfully worked with your clit before devouring your pussy as if he were starved. The thoughts of him leave you a shaking mess, forcing yourself to stifle any moans and gasps with the palm of your hand as the waves of illicit bliss ripple through you, making your cunt flutter with pleasure as you tease your sensitive bud through the aftershocks. You always felt a little shameful after the fact, unable to hold his gaze the morning after, the thoughts of Mr Miller ravishing your body still raw in your mind from the night before.

“That’s alrigh’ then. We’ll keep it that way,” he replies, quietly relieved.

She’s not gonna snitch on me, he thinks.

What a good girl.

Thank you for reading this to the end! If you enjoyed please extend a like or reblog (with a comment if you'd like, I love reading them <3) to support writers, it helps a ton!💞

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vthetease · 1 year

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my favorite things

it's me birthday

so just incase anyone wanted to know some stuff about V

heres some random info about my life as well as some of my favorite things

i am a libra sun, aquarius moon, capricorn rising

i like dark chocolate more than any other; i have since i first got my period. i like gummy candy and starbursts but my favorite are the little cola bottle candies. i like tea and coffee sweet, but flavorful. i like energy drinks and slushees and wanted my first tattoo to be a cola-mtn dew slushee but it wasnt. i like waffles more than pancakes but would prefer a toaster strudel or muffin. i like apples and lemons and cinnamon and garlic and truffle and black cherries but not maraschino. i dont like onions or cilantro or swiss cheese. i dont like chili because something about the consistency of wet, tomato-ee hamburger makes me ill. i also can't drink hard liquor.

i like smells like thick cologne that lingers and juniper and spearmint and old houses and honeysuckle and the smells of the earth when it stops raining in the summer. i like the smell of other peoples laundry soap and coffee more than my own. i like eucalyptus and aloe and teakwood and dragons blood incense.

i like classic rock from my dad and 80s pop ballads from my mom and afi and lincoln park from my older sibling and 4*TOWN for my younger sibling. one of my earliest loves in music was Paramore, and hayley is an inspiration of mine. i like pop punk and the band ive seen the most is sleeping with sirens, 4 times now. i like hip hop and rnb and acapella and piano. i like music that makes me feel alive. anything from violin to screaming, i just like passion. i'm a very passionate person and always have been despite myself.

i sing and like singing in the car, while i shower, and cook. i am very loud but sometimes can do cool things. i like how singing makes me happy and helps me relate to other people and also my predecessors. i like how i feel connected to those before me through my voice. my first time singing in public was my 4th grade talent show. I sang The Only Exception by Paramore because my parents thought Almost Lover was too dramatic and adult for a 12 year old

i like old movies and i used to fall asleep to them at my grandparents and wake up to them at weekends at my dads apartment. i like musicals like ride the cyclone and drama like the fault in our stars and action like john wick and will always be down for a horror movie. i like get out and candyman and hereditary and black swan and blair witch and creep. i like the twilight zone and rod serling has a special place in my heart. i also like alex trebek from jeopardy, matthew grey gubler, penn badgely, andrew scott, evan peters, and my biggest current celeb crush is matt rife.

i like being alone in busy places. i like to talk to people but i also like to disappear to the other room during the party. im the girl you find sitting outside sometimes smoking, or on the balcony. i enjoy walking back into a concert midsong and seeing all the happy little people being happy. i like stepping away from chaos to appreciate it. i like driving on highways at night when its empty and im high. i like watching airplanes land. i like sleep and i sleep in a tank top and underwear but never socks. my dreams always take me back to this very similiar place every single night doing different tasks with different people. i might start calling it the twilight zone. i like to paint my emotions in my makeup and artwork. i have always felt very deeply and openly.

i like the moon and the stars and it is so fascinating to learn about the same beautiful big rock my ancestors saw. i feel drawn to white butterflies and birds and bumblebees and skinks ( they r tiny lizards). i like history and culture, but im really bad at math.

thats all i can come up with for now. if you have any questions let me know

thanks for reading about me, lmk if youre in love yet

valentine, 22 today <3

#non tickles #nontickle #vthetease #info dump #my birthday #libra birthday #birthday yay #birthday #libra #libra sun

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tonguetyd · 9 months

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Ten of my current favorite songs, thank you @moonchild-in-blue and @a-s-levynn for the tags 🥰

Gonna try to do a thing with no artist repeats because 🤷🏻‍♀️

1) Idk why but this song has been on LOOP in my head for the past week (dearest darling lifemod this is probably your doing)

2) A two-fer of #3bands (the joke is I only listen to 3 bands but the third band is 17 different artists) because Nick’s voice just adds SO much in the Beach Weather verse

3) 👹 YOU BOOT STOMPIN BLOOD LETTIN SON OF A BITCH 👹

4) Sung in the shower yesterday (I sang like 4 FOB songs tho because basic)

5) Spence please keep singing all high I really like it :)

6) It’s a John The Ghost feature, not The Maine, I’m not double dipping, promise

7) …you knew it was coming

8) Mans is GRAMMY NOMINATED

9) LOW KEY! NO PRESSHAAA!

10) still thinking about when they played this at SHN and I *LEPT* onto my feet

What’s the number of people I tag for this thing? Five? @lifemod17 @littlequeenofthemangoes @byeeern @foundationsofdecay @burningsalt

(if y’all aready got tagged before sorry!)

#drift I am begging you to stop rambling in everything you type #also as always please consider yourself tagged in this if you would like #‘tonguetyd said if I wanted to’ YUP! go for it friends

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afreakingdork · 2 years

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Crush Too Much - Master Playlist

Here is the current master-list of all the songs you all have recommended to go along with Crush Too Much! This page will update as more songs come in:

Mirror Mirror (White Trailer) by Jeff Williams

Ocean Away by Barlow & Bear

El Clavo by Prince Royce

If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn by Sleeping With Sirens

Figure You Out by Djo

Go for It by Djo

Connect the Dots by Greer

Rocky and Window by Still Woozy

First Time by Lucy Dacus

Kissing Lessons by Lucy Dacus

Baby by Hippo Campus

Vanilla Twilight by Owl City

El Tango De Roxanne by Ewan McGregor, Jacek Koman, and José Feliciano

Tongues & Teeth by The Crane Wives

Never Love an Anchor by The Crane Wives

I'm Not Crazy by Kevin Walkman

Shit by Bo Burnham

Your Stupid Face by Kaden MacKay

Coffee by Jack Stauber

Let You Break My Heart Again by Laufey and Philharmonia Orchestra

Two Time by Jack Stauber

Nobody Gets Me by SZA

Meteor Shower by Cavetown

I Like You by dandelion hands

Ocean Waves by Alaina Castillo

Smitten by Leanna Firestone

Olive Branch by Sophie Holohan

O Sol e a Lua by Pequeno Cidadão

Sally’s Song by Catherine O'Hara

To Exist With You by Madilyn Mei

Roses by Phoneboy

Boy's a Liar by PinkPantheress

Dsco by Sweet Trip

Genesis by Grimes

Remember When by Wallows

i love you by Billie Eilish

Just a Friend to You by Meghan Trainor

The Winner Takes It All by ABBA

I Love You So by The Walters

Line Without a Hook by Ricky Montgomery

Mr. Brightside by The Killers

The Night We Met by Lord Huron

An Idiot by Phemiec

Where Do the Lonely Souls Go? by George Salazar

Less and Less by Matt Maltese

Irrational by Cavetown

Without You Around by Rare Americans

Loverboy by A-Wall

What About Me (Television / So Far So Good) by Rex Orange County

Out of My League by Fitz and The Tantrums

Fear & Delight by The Correspondents

Bullet by Saint Motel

i think you're really cool by Guardin

Obsession by OK Go

Feel Better by Penelope Scott

Teenage Runaways by Hot Milk

Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy

Again by Crusher-P

despair by leo.

Where Did the Party Go by Fall Out Boy

Almost Is Never Enough by Ariana Grande

Invisible by Anna Clendening

Starry Night by Jordan Critz

Dark Beach by PASTEL GHOST

All I Wanted by Paramore

Astronomy by Conan Gray

Nervous by The Neighbourhood

Afraid by The Neighbourhood

I Want You by Mitski

Francis Forever by Mitski

First Love / Late Spring by Mitski

Humpty by Mitski

The Only Heartbreaker by Mitski

Come Into the Water by Mitski

Escapism. by 070 Shake and Raye

Kawaki wo Ameku by Minami (カワキヲアメク by 美波)

I Really Want to Stay at Your House by Hallie Coggins and Rosa Walton

save your breath by JVKE

Tonight I Wanna Cry by Keith Urban

Painkiller by Beach Bunny

Sunsetz by Cigarettes After Sex

Snow by Ricky Montgomery

Let Her Go - Acoustic by Passenger

Why Do I by Set it off, Hatsune Miku

Bite Me by Avril Lavigne

Bad Habit

Song by Steve Lacy

In an Emergency Such as the End of the World by Chase Petra

Wait On by Hayley Williams

Asystole by Hayley Williams

firearm by Lizzy McAlpine

I Know the End by Phoebe Bridgers

Yours by Conan Gray

Lover, You Should've Come Over by Jeff Buckley

i want, doesn't get by DellaXOZ

Hope by Blood Orange and Dev Hynes

Never Wanna Fall in Love With U by nelward

The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives

Can't Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley

Heartache Tonight by Eagles

Waves By Dean Lewis

I'm Not in Love by 10cc

Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri

Ready To Love by Emarosa

Cautious by Emarosa

Wait, Stay by Emarosa

Fireworks by Mitski

Eternity With You by Adventure Time feat. Michaela Dietz & Zuzu

Monsters by All Time Low feat. Demi Lovato and blackbear

Out Like a Light by Ricky Montgomery & The Honeysticks

j's lullaby (darlin' i'd wait for you) by Delaney Bailey

I Don't Wanna Be Okay Without You by Charlie Burg

Don’t Wanna Fall in Love by Jane Child

Grow As We Go by Ben Platt

Creep by Radiohead

Happy by Mitski

Someone You Like by The Girl and the Dreamcatcher

An Awkward Duet by Dodie and Jon Cozart

Ma Belle Evangeline by Jim Cummings

Mamma Mia by ABBA

Um, it's Kind of a Lot by Will Wood

Hollywood by Jukebox the Ghost

Would You Be So Kind? by Dodie

Kill the Director by The Wombats

Conversations with the Moon By grentperez

The Color Violet by Tory Lanez

Heart Attack by Demi Lovato

Maybe So by Kid Cudi

Can’t Shake Her by Kid Cudi featuring Ty Dolla $ign

Willing to Trust by Kid Cudi featuring Ty Dolla $ign

Want It Bad by Cowboy Malfoy

My Heart Is Buried In Venice by Ricky Montgomery

Violet by Wild Party

A Shitty Love Song by Jye

You Are in Love by Taylor Swift

Accidentally In Love by Counting Crows

I Hear a Symphony by Cody Fry

FFF by Zara Larsson

Heartbeat by Childish Gambino

Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears

Here With Me by d4vd

One More Shot by CIL

Hopelessly Devoted To You by Olivia Newton-John

I Ain't Perfect by IV of Spades

If It All Goes South by Sammy Rae & The Friends

I Dare You by The Regrettes

Sarcasm by Get Scared

Die for You by Joji

golden hour by JVKE

moon and back by JVKE

this is what falling in love feels like by JVKE

how deep? by Tai Verdes

Nonsense by Sabrina Carpenter

Glimpse of Us by Joji

Try Again by JAEHYUN and d.ear

Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County

Wag Kang Mag-expect, Tanga by Fishy Bishie

All I Ask by Adele

Against the Kitchen Floor by Will Wood

Absence by Rio Romeo

Inarticulation by Rio Romeo

Never There Enough by PROM

Ever After by Marianas Trench

Science & Faith by The Script

Patchwork Staccato by Rachie

Hopeless by Khalid

It Ain’t Over ’til It’s Over by Lenny Kravitz

Snow On The Beach by Taylor Swift and Lana Del Rey

Your Hands Are Cold by Dario Marianli and Jean-Yves Thibaudet

A Postcard to Henry Purcell by Dario Marianli and Jean-Yves Thibaudet

Salut d'Amour by Edward Elgar

What's Wrong by half•alive

Dandelions by Ruth B

Move Me by half•alive

Arrow by half•alive

selfdestruct by torr

Lovers Rock by TV Girl

I Didn't Know That I Could Feel This Way by Roger Bart and Susan Egan

Pink in the Night by Mitski

A New Hour by Mr.Kitty

@cryptkillo was kind enough to put together a Spotify Version!

#crushtoomuchfic #playlist #music

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sadieabrams · 1 month

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SADIE: I was singing along to Paramore in the shower and I think I have a really good idea for a one shot that we can do during the hiatus. SADIE: ... I promise there was a link from point A to point B, but in hindsight, I probably could have left out the first part. @mathieuschue

#text.#text: mathieu.#mathieu.

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daughter-of-melpomene · 8 months

Note

Cute character questions for the og Ivy!

AHHHHH IT’S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I TALKED ABOUT MY GIRL, THANK YOU GRACE!! And I’m also gonna tag @dancingsunflowers-ocs since she also asked for this with Ivy, and @ginger-grimm since she’s one of Ivy’s godparents. <3

the basics:

name: ivy kipi kekoa. age: fifteen years old (as of season one). zodiac sign: aquarius. one good trait: her strong sense of loyalty to the people she cares about. one bad trait: her competitiveness.

habits:

one bad habit: biting her nails. one good habit: always checking if a bin is for garbage or recycling before she puts something in it. one habit they can’t break: picking at the skin on the inside of her wrist when she’s nervous (even if she wears a bracelet, she just winds up picking at that instead). one they’ve broken: ripping apart bread as she eats it. what they’re afraid of: not being good enough to achieve the things she wants.

family:

their parents’ names: john kekoa (father), maile kekoa (mother). their siblings names: n/a. favorite childhood memory: all the times her mother sang her back to sleep after a bad dream. favorite childhood toy: a plastic toy radio that only played certain cds full of children’s songs. embarrassing story: the story of when ivy was six years old and swore at her grandparents in hawaiian because she was repeating a word she’d heard her mother say before she knew what it meant. favorite family member: her grandmother, who first introduced her to musical theatre. a story about that family member: after her grandmother died, ivy’s mom gave her a letter that the woman had written addressed to her, detailing exactly how proud she was of her and how she just knew ivy would achieve her dreams of making it onto broadway. ivy wept the whole night after reading the letter, and she still keeps it tucked safely in a drawer as one of her most prized possessions.

what they prefer:

coffee or tea?: coffee. showering in the day or night?: night. taking baths or taking showers?: showers. tv or movies?: movies. writing or reading?: writing, especially if it’s songwriting. platonic or romantic love?: romantic. iced tea or lemonade?: iced tea. ice cream or smoothies?: smoothies. cupcakes or cake?: cupcakes. beach or mountains?: beach.

favorites:

song: “all that jazz” from the musical chicago. band: paramore. outfit: her favorite purple cardigan, paired with a comfortable long-sleeved shirt, blue jeans, and her doc martens. place: the auditorium at school, singing on the stage with her fellow new directions members. memory: dancing around her grandparents’ kitchen to the chicago soundtrack with her grandmother. person: mercedes, her absolute best friend in the world. movie: chicago. show: smash.

send me an oc!!

#asks about my ocs #oc: ivy kekoa

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goblincaptain · 3 months

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basics.

name. knickolas pnackleless hob. nicknames. kp, knick, knick pnack, captain, hob. age. over 100. species. hobgoblin / bugbear.

personal.

morality. as the goblin captain: lawful / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true. after retiring: lawful / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true. religions. raised believing in whatever goblins believe in, though he's not very religious himself. as a fey, he mostly just listens to the universe, and himself. sins. greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath. virtues. chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice. know languages. common ( english ), goblin, some elvish and sylvan, as well as phrases in human languages such as latin and french. secrets. his biggest secret is that he started questioning his court and what all the courts stood for, as well as beginning to debate whether fighting as a military man was worth it, as he wanted to start understand his own thoughts as feelings, rather than simply serving his whole life.

physical.

build. scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average. height. 7′0″. scar / birthmarks. the scars that are visible are aplenty. he has several across his snout and face, as well as long ones on his thighs and shins. on his back are many from both stab wounds and many arrows. even though hob can't die that easily, he still scars like a regular beast. his scars are pretty plain, too, because his fur never grew back over them properly. abilities / powers. hob is an excellent fighter. he has many years of combat training, and is skilled with many weapons, but his speciality is a halberd. he also his an amazing strategist, which is why he's won so many battles. he doesn't have any magic, he's just good at fighting. restrictions. he often follows his duty over his heart, and it can get in the way of friendships and relationships. he hasn't had a lot of socialization ( since you can't really chat on the battlefield ), so hob can be inept in social situations, but he does try. along those lines, he can be blunt and often hurt other's feelings on accident.

favorites.

food. goblins are known for eating just about anything, but though kp grew up on eating trash and refuse, he prefers the normal cuisine of the fae, such as sweets and simple delicacies. he also just isn't picky, he'll eat anything. pizza toppings. pizza doesn't exist in hob's world, but if it did, he'd be a simple guy and eat cheese pizza. color. red and brown. music genre. classical and slow and calming. book genre. before, when he was a captain, he mostly read history and anything that would get him ahead in battle. after renouncing himself, hob has to admit that romance novels are very intriguing. movie genre. the only movie that exists in his world is the green hunter, and he saw it once and didn't get it. curse word. he doesn't cuss a lot, but he's probably said shit the most. scents. peonies, sweet smells, the smell of wet ground and grass.

fun stuff.

associated songs. hercules by sara bareilles, playing god by paramore, i hear a symphony by cody fry, little lion man by mumford & sons, iscariot by walk the moon, machine by misterwives. associated aesthetic. soft brown fur, a burning fireplace, wet dog smell, neatly written letters, red string, battlefield maps, pristine military uniforms, the expectation of doing what you're told, gold medals, tender hearts, burning candles that are almost out of wax, intense eye contact, claws. sings in the shower? when he's feeling particularly chipper, most definitely. but he tries to make sure no one's around when he does. likes puns? unfortunately yes, he thinks they're very funny. no many others do.

#study.

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bella-goths-wife · 2 years

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Lost boys dads au as songs

This is just a silly little thing about songs that remind me of the relationships in my lost boys au with reader

If you enjoy please like, comment and reblog, feel free to send in requests that you want me to write <3

Dwayne

You are my sunshine- Christina perri

“You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away”

I imagine Dwayne singing this to you to get you to sleep, especially at a young age because he sees you as one of the best things in his life

Slipping through my fingers- abba

“Sometimes I wish I could freeze the picture, and save it from the muddy twists of time”

This song reminds me of Dwayne watching his child grow up and become distant from the boys because of all the trauma they put the child through

Dear theodosia- Hamilton

“I'm dedicating every day to you. Domestic life was never quite my style. When you smile, you knock me out, I fall apart And I thought I was so smart”

I don’t know why but the amount of adoration that Dwayne has for you is similar to this song

Marko

Cigarette duet- princess Chelsea

“It's just a cigarette and it cannot be that bad Honey, don't you love me and you know it makes me sad? It's just a cigarette like you always used to do I was different then, I don't need them to be cool”

Interlude: I’m not angry anymore- paramore

“I’m not angry anymore, well sometimes i am. I don’t think badly of you, well sometimes I do”

I think reader would hold a lot of resentment towards marko after he would constantly defend the others actions and would tell your secrets to David, but they would feel guilty about their resentment because of markos manipulation. They eventually just become numb to Markos actions

Paul

When the party’s over- billie eilish

“Quiet when I’m coming home, and I’m on my own. I could lie, say I like it like that”

Reader always knew that Paul loved partying more than them

All I wanted- paramore

“All I wanted was youuuuu”

It ain’t me- Selena Gomez

“Who's gonna walk you through the dark side of the mornin'? Who's gonna rock you when the sun won't let you sleep? Who's wakin' up to drive you home when you're drunk and all alone? Who's gonna walk you through the dark side of the mornin'?”

David

Class of 2013 - mitski

“Mom, would you wash my back? This once, and then we can forget And I'll leave what I'm chasing For the other girls to pursue”

I know it’s more for mommy issues, but my version of David is very mommy coded

Family line- Conan gray

“Oh, all that I did to try to undo it, All of my pain and all your excuses, I was a kid but I wasn't clueless

(Someone who loves you wouldn't do this)

All of my past, I tried to erase it, But now I see, would I even change it? Might share a face and share a last name, but

(We are not the same)”

Daddy issues- the neighborhood

“Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do I know how much it matters to you I know that you got daddy issues And if you were my little girl I'd do whatever I could do, I'd run away and hide with you, I know that you got daddy issues, and I do too”

Max

Mocking bird- Eminem

“And if you ask me to, daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird I'ma give you the world I'ma buy a diamond ring for you, I'ma sing for you I'll do anything for you to see you smile And if that mockingbird don't sing, and that ring don't shine I'ma break that birdie's neck I'll go back to the jeweler who sold it to ya And make him eat every carat, don't fuck with dad”

Beautiful boy- John Lennon

“The monster's gone, He's on the run and your daddy's here Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Beautiful boy Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Beautiful boy”

Star

You will be okay (stolas lullaby)- annapantsu

“As the stars start to align, I hope you take it as a sign that You will be okay, Everything will be okay”

Cover me in sunshine- pink

“Cover me in sunshine, shower me in good times”

James (bad boy fic boyfriend)

Cherry pie- warrant

“She's my cherry pie, Cool drink of water, such a sweet surprise. Tastes so good, make a grown man cry, Sweet cherry pie, oh yeah. She's my cherry pie, Put a smile on your face, ten miles wide. Looks so good, bring a tear to your eye, Sweet cherry pie, yeah”

Masochism tango- Tom Lehrer

“Let our love be a flame, not an ember ,say it's me that you want to dismember. Blacken my eye, Set fire to my tie as we dance to the Masochism Tango”

Saccharine- jazmin bean

“It's sweet like saccharine. What I do to have you sitting here next to me. Looking at you makes me wanna gouge out my eyes. Bloody surprise Like cherry pie, will you be mine?”

Baby I’m yours- arctic monkeys

“Baby, I'm yours (baby, I'm yours) And I'll be yours (yours) until the stars fall from the sky. Yours (yours) until the rivers all run dry, In other words, until I die”

Faith (new character coming soon)

Take me to church- hozier

“"We were born sick", you heard them say it, My church offers no absolutes, She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom" The only Heaven I'll be sent to Is when I'm alone with you, I was born sick, but I love it. Command me to be well”

Iris- goo goo dolls

“And I'd give up forever to touch you Cause I know that you feel me somehow. You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, And I don't want to go home right now”

I wanna be your girlfriend- girl in red

“I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips, I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath”

Gods and monsters- Lana del Rey

“You got that medicine I need Fame, liquor, love, give it to me slowly. Put your hands on my waist, do it softly. Me and God, we don't get along”

#platonic lost boys x reader #yandere lost boys x reader #lost boys x reader #dad lost boys #the lost boys #lost boys x child reader #yandere lost boys #poly lost boys x reader #lost boys #platonic lost boys x child reader

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sulkycatart · 8 months

Text

About the OC

1: What is your character’s full name?

Christopher (Chris) Johnathon Shelby

2: What is their birth?

July 9

3: What is/are your character’s favorite show(s)?

I don’t know much about tv but he definitely likes things like Trailer Park Boys, Bob’s Burgers, Parks and Rec, etc...

4: What kind of drug(s) does your character do?

He’s dabbled in a lot actually. He had a pretty strong party phase in his teens. He used to do a lot of hard drugs when he was way too young, and it messed with his head a lot. He stays away from most things now since it interferes with his meds.

5: Favorite brand when it comes to shoes?

Vans or Docs.

6: Where does your OC buy most of their clothes? Who pays for them?

Honestly he gets a lot from thrift stores or borrowing shit from his friends. He’s had a job since high school so he pays for his own stuff. He just avoids buying things he doesn't really need.

7: Can your character cook anything well? If so, what?

He can cook enough to feed himself and his sister. It isn’t his favorite thing to do so he rarely gets creative, but he isn’t clueless in the kitchen by any means.

8: Would your character sacrifice a friend for $10,000,000

No.

9: What song does your character always sing in the shower?

He often sings in the shower, the song just depends on his mood for the day. Usually things he and his friends have written since he’s in a band. It’s good practice.

10: As a child, what did your OC wanna be when they grew up?

A doctor.

11: Favorite kind of alcohol?

Straight vodka.

12: Who is/are your OC’s best friend(s)?

Jacob and Raine.

13: Favorite store?

He likes browsing the outside garden section of Lowe’s.

14: Favorite book?

Catcher in the Rye

15: Most visited website(s)?

Probably Youtube or somewhere that he can listen to music and watch videos.

16: If your OC was a character from King of the Hill who would they be?

This is random lol. Probably that one kid.. John Redcorn’s kid?

17: Propane or charcoal?

Charcoal.

18: Favorite troll from Homestuck?

I don’t know anything about Homestuck.

19: Has your character ever complained about how Invader Zim got canceled?

Yep.

20: Nintendo or Sony?

Nintendo.

21: Favorite video game(s)?

Legend of Zelda, Super Mario Party, Dragon Quest

22: What’s the password they use for everything?

They don’t use the same password for everything.

23: What was their email in the 6th grade?

Definitely something with sk8r in it.

24: Does your character tan or burn?

Burns and then tans.

25: What invisible illness does your OC live with?

Depression, anxiety, severe PTSD, and psychosis.

26: If charged by a swarm of wild animals, what wild animal would scare your character the most?

Moose.

27: Everybody Loves Raymond comes on but the batteries in the remote are dead. Does your character watch ELR or get up and change it?

He just watches it.

28: What was their favorite disney show as a kid?

I don’t think he was a Disney channel kid. More like Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network.

29: If your character is LGBT+, when and how did they realize?

It started with a crush on their friend Bello in middle school. The feelings weren’t mutual but he couldn’t deny his attraction for him and just sort of accepted his sexuality after that. He’s always been surrounded by friends who are LGBT+ so he never felt the need to hide it from himself or anyone else.

30: Who are your OC’s celebrity crushes?

Hayley Williams from Paramore and Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day.

31: How does your character want to die? How do they actually die?

He wants to die around people he loves. He just really doesn’t want to be alone. I haven’t written a death for him.

32: How does your OC deal with having a crush on someone?

He’s very shy. They almost never realize his feelings because he’s too nervous to actually approach them.

33: Did your OC cry at the end of Balto?

Yes.

34: What Bands does your character own merch to?

Nirvana, Green Day, etc...

35: Emo, scene, goth, or punk?

He’s kind of a mix. Grunge/punk/emo with his own things thrown in.

36: Does your OC use words or fists to argue?

Depends on the situation. He’s not a good fighter but he’s also not afraid of getting beat up.

37: Did your OC read the book The Secret? Did it change their lives?

No.

38: Did you character get deeper into My Little Pony than they let on?

No lol

39: Spotify or Pandora?

Spotify.

40: Do they pay for music or download it off the web?

Download it.

41: iPhone or Android?

Android.

42: Most used emoji?

☹

43: Do they get lost on IMDB for hours looking up random movie trivia?

Only when the mood strikes.

44: Remember when Donnie Darko was about to jerk off in his therapists office that was fucked up

He gets it.

45: Does your character think Elijah Wood’s is hot?

No.

46: Does your character believe in the Illuminati

Probably yeah.

47: What do you think youtube would recommend your character watch?

Lots of music videos and conspiracy channels.

48: Your OC stops at a gas station to buy a drink. What did they buy?

The white Monster energy or Sprite.

49: Does your character have an enemy/rival?

Himself.

50: What kind of blog would/does your character have?(ie: food, aesthetic, SJW, porn, b&w, anime, etc..)

Aesthetic blog with lots of pictures of cemataries, flowers, and forests. Aka my other side blog @coffinpriince

Stolen from @bunnles

#oc meme #oc #about my ocs

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impassioned-heart · 1 year

Note

6. What are you excited for?

48. Do you sing in the shower?

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

- I’m really excited to go to the burbs to have a bonfire night with friends and meet my buddy Sean’s new bf!! Also the weekend after I’m having twilight movie night with some friends on discord 💕💕 We’re watching Eclipsed

- I put on full on concerts in the shower, thankfully I think all my neighbors are at work by time I do lmao

- the Chicago Symphonic Orchestra anddddd also Paramore

Tyty💕💕💕

#asks #I appreciate this!!

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alltimefail-sims · 2 years

Text

Elliot Ramos & Jaylen Harris

For @slothseasims "Love is Blind" Challenge!

Your best friend and the worst Tinder date you've ever had can actually be the same person, and sometimes you sign up to be on reality dating shows together.

more info under the cut ↓

**Elliot is the one on the left, Jaylen the one on the right.

I imagine the two actually connected over their shared love of art (and the fact that they found each other physically attractive, obviously) but they realized pretty quickly that their personalities and individual lifestyles weren't compatible for dating, lol. Both Elliot and Jaylen live in San Myshuno (Jaylen lives uptown and Elliot lives in the arts quarter).

Now onto a boatload of info on them as individuals:

Identifies as: they/he (comfortable with either), bisexual

Age: young adult, 26 y.o.

In-game traits (& aspiration): adventurous, goofball, clumsy. Soulmate aspiration.

Occupation: Barista, but wants to go back to school and finish the degree in art they started straight out of high school (just to say he finished college really, and to make more money on his freelance artwork).

Background: Elliot grew up in Del Sol Valley with his mom, dad, and two younger sisters (19 and 23). They come from a pretty traditional family and have been coined as the "black sheep" by all the older family members. Fortunately, despite the differences, they are still close with their mom and dad (even though his parents sometimes feel inclined to give unsolicited opinions, which causes some strain). His sisters are extremely important to him, and their opinion actually matters - if his sisters don't like you, the relationship probably won't work out. Elliot has always been a daredevil, curious and sometimes very impulsive (sometimes quite careless...and clumsy, too). For instance, they were struck by lightning while climbing a tree at 12 years old to get a "better look at the storm" (he still has the scar along his chest and collarbone) and at 15 years old they broke their nose by following through on a dare at school (and that's why it's noticeably a little crooked even to this day). Every tattoo they have has a meaning, but was ultimately gotten on impulse and his nipples are pierced but they don't always wear the jewelry (he forgets - yes he's had to get them re-pierced before due to this). They don't live in most places for long and don't like being locked into an apartment for more than 6 months at a time, so they don't have a lot of material possessions (nor would he choose to sit still indoors for long enough to enjoy an excess of material possessions). He has a history of being a bit hot-headed when it comes to social issues or asshole people: he is not afraid of confrontation.

Likes (and turn-ons): Has an appreciation for pretty much all shades and colors as he's an artist. Loves food trucks and food stalls - the more authentic and obscure, the better. Could literally eat his mom's tres leches cake every day (he has a sweet tooth). Enjoys alternative music (favorite band is Paramore) but also secretly loves K-Pop. Favorite holiday is Halloween. Loves going to local art shows and independent galleries as opposed to large museums (he would say museums are full of stolen shit anyway). Loves singing but is not a great singer (he just loves to goof off and make people laugh). Loves all animals and would definitely pet a stray. Likes people who are non-judgmental and open-minded; cares very little about physical appearance so long as they're kind and can keep up with his quick-paced lifestyle and lively conversation. (Although he is a sucker for beautiful eyes). Enjoys hiking, rock climbing, skiing/snowboarding/ice skating/dancing, pretty much any "fun" physical activity. Loves being complimented/doted over, loves intentional people who are straightforward with their feelings. Loves and craves physical touch and enjoys showering those he loves with words of affirmation.

Dislikes (and turn-offs): As much as he enjoys eating... he is a terrible cook, so he hates cooking and baking. They hate when their grandma drags them to bingo (but goes because they're a nice grandson and the old ladies think they're "a real cutie.") Dislikes classical music, EDM, and country (especially bluegrass). Black Friday. Rigid workouts. Most vegetables. Church services. Movie theater dates (you can't even talk to each other, what's the point?) and long movies in general. Having to dress up (especially if he has to wear a tie). Fantasy games/RP stuff/tabletop games (doesn't have the attention span/doesn't like staying still for long periods of time). Morning people. Materialistic people. People who don't tip well or yell at workers in the service industry. Rigid, structured people (they make him feel anxious).

What they want out of this experiment: Elliot is very bad at dating and very bad at being an adult in general because they think most things (bills, chores, expensive weddings, societal expectations and cues, reproducing, etc.) are bullshit. They are tired of feeling like dating is a job and like marriage is just a contractual business arrangement and want to find their forever adventure partner (who hopefully doesn't want kids. He's flexible, but Elliot kind of always imagined himself as the cool uncle instead of a dad). But, if he doesn't, he's honestly just happy to do this for the experience.

Identifies as: he/him, bisexual

Age: adult, 30 y.o.

In-game traits (and aspiration): athletic, outgoing, art lover. Successful lineage aspiration.

Occupation: Licensed Therapist (long term goal is to get his doctorate so he can be a psychologist).

Background: Jaylen grew up in Copperdale and was raised by his grandparents (on his dad's side). He is an only child and knows very little about his biological mom or extended family. Despite some hiccups early on, he had a really great childhood and was an especially good student and dedicated athlete. His last serious relationship was when he was 25; he was engaged to his college sweetheart, but the relationship fell through before they could get married (they just realized they had very different long-term goals). He recently obtained his masters in psychology (focus in counseling). He's dated on and off, but no connection has really been worth pursuing.

Likes (and turn-ons): Favorite color is either navy blue or forest green. Favorite food is philly cheesesteaks (he generally eats pretty healthy, but cheesesteaks taste nostalgic and remind him of going to football games with his grandpa). Favorite "holiday" would probably be new years eve because it's low stress and the possibility that comes with another new year is comforting and inspiring. Loves dressing up fancy, loves surprising his partner with gifts, flowers, etc. Loves music with a good beat - pop, rap, rnb. Loves classical art (Dutch golden age, renaissance), but has an appreciation for all art styles. Jaylen has a soft spot for sensitive, compassionate people who will remind him to slow down every now and again. Loves working out, cooking, relaxing at the end of a long day with a good book or television sitcom (The Good Place, Abott Elementary, The Office, Parks and Rec, Always Sunny, etc.). Likes things to be clean and organized, although it isn't a deal breaker if someone is a little messy (so long as they aren't careless/a slob/have bad manners). Loves it when his partner smells good (not in a weird way, it's just an "extra mile" thing he really notices) and is attracted to a great smile/infectious laugh. Loves kids and wants to have kids of his own!

Dislikes (and turn-offs): He hates loud music and overly-packed environments (clubs, tight concert venues, etc.). He can't really vibe with overly gloomy or pessimistic people and music (metal, most alternative). He also dislikes country music. Hates attention seekers and people who always make the conversation about them. Hates wishy-washy/indecisive people. Can't stand adults who "hate children" and make that a personality trait. Couldn't be with someone who constantly puts his interests down/belittles his intelligence because he's athletic (happens more than you'd think). Hates when people act immaturely or are obsessed with social media/what others think of them. Can't be with someone who is a slob or someone who needs to constantly be "going" (his job is important to him, and whoever he is with needs to be okay with consistency). He's pretty open-minded about physical appearance, so long as the person is confident and not always fishing for approval/praise.

What he wants out of this experiment: Jaylen likes to get down to business when it comes to conversations - he is very good at small talk, and finds joking/flirting fun, but he's looking for someone who takes their time together seriously. He needs someone who can match his intensity and his ambitious attitude, and he's hoping to make a lifelong connection through this process. If he doesn't find someone, he'd be pretty discouraged as he's ready to get married and start a family. He's not here to play games!

***Perhaps a silly detail, but the headers are their handwriting. Just think handwriting shows a lot about a person akdjaskdjasd okay that's all I got, shutting up now ❤️.

#As always this was a lot of information. I can't even help my self good god #like... I'm sorry this is so much. My brain just does not stop when I make OCs lmfao #sim submission #slothseasims #ts4 lib #ts4 love is blind #oc: elliot ramos #oc: jaylen harris #Last thing: if there are typos I'm sorry!! I reread this 10000x until my eyes couldn't take it any more!!

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thesecretcornerintheroom · 2 years

Text

Simple Is Sometimes Better Part II

(Angst/Fluff once again)

Hope you guys like lt💕

As I got in the car, I refused to take a minute to myself only because I could have sworn I heard Caleb calling my name. “Y/N, WAIT. " His voice sounded distant as he started to drive away. Looking in the review mirror, I saw him with his hands over his head, looking defeated. The sight almost broke my heart to see him look like that. Him..what about me…I spent half my life liking him to help plan a fantastic date with the local town, Sweetheart Mariah.

I feel hurt, hurt at the fact that I thought I deserved that type of love, broken at the fact that I let my guard down, hurt at the fact that I felt I deserved him. My eyes started to get blurry, and the only thing that was keeping me calm was the fact that I was driving soon as I pulled up in my front yard. I locked the car and ran into the house. I didn’t have to worry about anybody being home. It was the middle of the day, so no one was going to try to make small talk with me as soon as I walked through the door or saw the fact that I was crying like a baby and asked me what was wrong.

Once in the house, I did the most sensible thing I could think of, and that was to cry in my room. I called for what seemed like hrs, to the point my tears stained my pillow. Once I felt like tears did nothing for me, I decided to take a shower and turn on music to distract myself—Beyoncé, Mint Condition, Drake, even Paramore, anything to distract me. Before I knew it, I was doing my hair, pulling out outfits for what I didn’t know. But I did know I had to get out of this house and out of my head. So I did the only thing I could think of that girl should do when she feels any form of rejection or fear, which is to call her girlfriend.

CALEB✨: CALLING

No…I don’t need him to say things to make it feel better. He knows, and I know I will always be little y/n, his best friend.

CALEB✨: CALL ENDED

“EW MICHELLE LEAVE YA LITTLE SISTER ALONE,” my friend Cassie said in a distressed tone. I’ve known Caleb all my life, but I’ve known Cassie just as long. Cassie was funny and blunt. She was an ambivert with no friends, but she liked it that way. Cassie was the only girl in this small town that liked me for me and not because I was friends with Caleb…She was the only girl in this town who didn’t want Caleb either. I wish I were lucky as her.“ Hey girl, wassup,” she said. “Do you think we can talk?” I said, voice scratchy from the crying and over-dramatic singing I had been doing in the past hours. “Sure, girl, what’s wrong,” she said, worried.

I told Cassie everything, even though Cassie already knew about my crush on Caleb. I told her about the planned date with Mariah and his needing my help somehow, which led to us making out. Me feeling like was humiliated because I agreed to the kiss, and the fact that I felt like I ruined our whole friendship. I explained how a part of me felt like I got rejected before I even gave him a chance to speak.

“Stop it right there, and I love you, so this is what I’m going to say. Your emotions and feelings are valid, but it doesn't seem like you are looking at the whole picture but only a part of it,” she said sternly, but sincerity was in each word. “Do I think Caleb has the IQ score of a penguin? Absolutely” This statement made me giggle. “But you didn’t let him speak. You ran away before he could say anything. Listen, I know how you are. Your going to walk around school and town acting like this doesn't hurt you, and you are going to pretend like it never happened because that's your way of keeping yourself safe.”

When Cassie said that, it stabbed my heart. If anybody could describe me, they would. Say I’m calm, mean, and, well, an introvert, I keep to myself, but that’s only because of how almost everybody in this town thinks they can butter me up to get to Caleb like I’m their golden ticket. Another reason I’m nonchalant and mean is that I don’t want to give anybody the chance to hurt me or to make me feel bad about how I look, it’s genuinely a coverup, and if you are one of my closet friends, then I never realized to just now…you can tell.

“Y/n, you are still strong if you show emotions. It’s okay. You are still strong if you feel those things and express them, and you are going to be okay if the ending turns out to be shit,” Said Cassie. I never told her, but she was the only person who understood me and didn't make me feel bad for feeling or projecting. “That being said, how about me and you go out tonight? Look fucking good! Collect some armor. Get drunk so that you can handle your battle tomorrow,” she said with a giggle.

“I would love that,” I said

Caleb✨: Can we talk?

Caleb: be fr you ran away from me now your not answering the phone!

Please don't ask me how I got here. I'm standing in the middle of the club in a black leather mini-dress with some combat boots and a killer red lip and trying to convince myself to have fun. I was at the bar, no gauging me and Cassie drinks. We were currently at Club blue, a teen club, you have to be 16+ to get in, and the age limit stops at 24. Club blue is one of the hottest clubs in our town, and usually, if you’re not shopping, eating, watching a movie, or skating, you are at Club Blue on the weekend.

6 MISSED CALLS: From Caleb✨

“Y/n, come on,” Said Cassie grabbing my arm and pulling me out to the dance floor. “Pain is temporary, but fun moments can last a lifetime,” she said, making me smile.

We started to Dance the entire night. The Dj was playing artists for everybody to enjoy. Nicki Minaj, Brockhampton, Frank Ocean, Future. With every artist and every song, I was losing myself more and more. Maybe it was the drinks or the fact that Cassie was encouraging me, or perhaps I was going out of my way to put my life on pause for a while. But my body felt hot and tingly. It also felt at ease for a little bit. “Okay, you all, it's getting close to. The end of the night, so we're going to slow it down,” said the DJ. “Hey girl, I’m finna go to the Bar and get another drink,” said Cassie.

Caleb✨: I need you to text me or something…anything.

“You lift my heart when the rest of me is down (never)You, you enchant me even when you're not around.”

I slowed down dancing and just listened to the music and swayed with my eyes closed, feeling the beat and words. As I listened to the lyrics, my body felt heavy; the songs were just a little too on-brand for what was going on with me.

I turned around and walked to the bar to Cassie.”Hey girl, I’m finna step outside for a minute for some air. I said, walking up to Cassie, who looked like she was flirting with the bartender. “Okay, ill come with you,” she said, stopping her conversation. “No, it's fine. I need a couple of seconds, and besides,” I said, leaning into her. “ it looks like you got some entertainment,” I said, giggling, kissing her cheek, and walking off.

Once outside, I felt the cold air hit my skin. I was shivering a little the inside of the club was warm from all the people dancing, not to mention the liquor in my system. Trying to refocus, I pulled my phone out of my purse.

“So Nice to see you’re okay,” said Caleb, standing in front of my car. He had his blue jeans and white shirt, which still had paint stains, and now a jean jacket was thrown on top, indicating that he hadn’t changed since I left his house. “You are stalking me now,” I said, listening to my slightly slurred voice. I hate that I sound not put together. I always make sure. I'm presentable. It ties into My persona and my look nobody has ever seen change, and I hate he gets to see me like this, slightly buzzed, emotional, stumbling over my words and feet…well, at least my outfit looks good.

“I don’t like doing shit like this; this whole situation has me stressed out. You got me stressed out,” he said, sounding angry and anxious. Me! I thought me! I have him stressed out, and I’ve had a crush on this guy since we were fucking kids, but I’m the problem, me! These thoughts rushed through my head. I was angry and scared all at the same time. “I’ve been calling you and texting you you’re not picking up; I drove around looking for you. I went by your house nobody was there. I had to see Cassie's story to know that you were out at fucking club blue.”

Dammit Cassie

Y/N why are you running from this whole situation? I do not understand! Caleb said as he pushed off the car and walked over to me.

He was in front of me, brooding with tense shoulders and a clinching jaw. His eyes didn’t hold anger though his eyes were confused and glossy. Now looking at him in this state, a part of me felt terrible. A portion of me felt small, fragile; at any moment, I could break, and the words that I wanted to say were for sure going to make me crack.

I can’t break in front of him like this. “Okay, how bout we relax I chuckled, exhaling a deep breath. I mean, you and I both know it was a kiss, nothing too crazy,” I said, voice dry and weak, trying to make myself believe it. Caleb, hearing those words, his face changed instantly. I could see him becoming colder and his Jaw clenching. ”Y/n, I know you don’t believe that if you did, we wouldn’t be here right now having this, this moment,” he said, voice stern grabbing my arms. I avoided eye contact, but that gesture made me look at him.

Why would he touch me and talk to me like he cares? He doesn't. If anything, he wants to be my friend. Friend, I’m so sick of that word. It can die in a hole, I thought, starting to tear up and looking into his eyes and him looking into mine while holding my arms.

How how do you know I’m playing…I mean, we’ve been friends since we were kids, and I have had a crush on you since then, and you could never tell I said with a shaky voice. She is making his face look sad. Do you know what it's like to be the for that everybody wants to be friends with cause she is friends with the #1 guy in town? So she sits back and hides because she knows that will never happen. Cause she knows that she doesn’t deserve that type

Of love or attention from anybody. When she knows that the perfect Mariah can get that and more! I said, raising my voice. I'm SO

SICK OF PLAYING IT SAFE WITH YOU, WITH BEING QUIET WITH YOU, WITH HELPING YOU WITH EVERY SINGLE NEW FUCKING GIRL CAUSE IT FUCKING HURTS! I say, screaming at the end. My voice came out rough between the sobbing and yelling. I don’t know when but our bodies became closer. My face was in his chest, sobbing, and he was hugging me with his arm wrapped around me in such a protective way.

Silence hung in the air. We could only hear the club music faintly, and the wind passed us.

“Y/n, I’ve been in love with you since I was 15,” said Caleb. This made me stop and push myself away from him to look at him. When I saw his face, it was sincere and honest.” you’re the only girl I knew my entire life that would be honest with me when I was fucking up. You were there for me when my parents went through a rough patch. You’re the only girl that comes to all my basketball games on and off the court. I don’t know if it was between the basketball games and my family stuff or even the walks home. All I could think about was how beautiful you looked when you smiled or even on a day when I could tell you wanted to shut everything out. You still looked terrific, and I don’t mean unique in appearance because you’re beautiful, and you always have been. I mean unique as in your spirit never dimmed; I think the reason I never said anything is because you are the only person in my life that I could say was there for me because of who I am and not what I can bring to this town and the school. Hence, every time I had those thoughts about you being beautiful when you smile or when I would look at your hips sway when you walk down the hallway, I ignored them because I rather have you in my life than not have you at all.

He felt the same way I felt…

I jumped into his arms and kissed him, which made him stumble a little bit, not expecting it. But I felt him moving us to the side of my car as we kept pecking. The pecking turned to a warm kiss. Quickly his lips were soft and firm, and his hands went from my mid back and trailed to my but. My hands went from his sides and trailed up to his neck and face. With this kiss, we said everything we wanted and didn’t say times 10. This Kiss felt different from the other one. This kiss felt complete.

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