#but then when she does message me it’s ‘omg i miss you sooooo much’ but not enough to respond to me

[fingertipsmp3]

In some other news I found a cheap flight to Seattle but I don’t even know if my friend wants me to visit anymore lol

[edwinspaynes]

Hey hey hey Shadowhunter’s It-Girl (yes i meant it, when i said you ARE the it queeen)

RE Feel good vibes!

OMG just readingggg through your wonderful message and how deliciously indulgent your replies are gave me mad feel good vibes and made me want to bedoink a hammer on my head for not doing it sooner!!!!

I am so glad to hear you’re visiting Japan! What prompted you to want to go there? Like walk me through that brain thought 😊.

Re Dead Boy Detectives!

I am veryyyy aware of your love for Dead Boy Detectives! I love how much you love them! And massive fingers crossed that it gets renewed for a season 2! I know on the ends of comics (non exclusive to just the Dead Boys ongoing but also Fables, Sandman essentially everything that ISN’T batman or a superhero comic) tends to be very much on the ‘unlikely to get a run’ so i’m always fingers crossed. YK? CUZ I GET IT.

Re Book recs

Thank you sooooo much for the lovely book recs! Even if their random if you have more please let me know them! And who/and what do you think a shadowhunter character would react while reading it, or if they would reccomend it to another internally? 🤭

Re Matthewwwwwwwwww

Also a bit of a, in medias reas inserted ask- If TMI is fall, and TID is winter, and TDA is Summer… what do you think is the most appropriate synergistic time to read/reread TLH? Wicked Powers does give me for some reason Spring vibes. But maybe it will be Summer cuz Los Angeles and all… ANYWAY would love to know your thoughts on that!

And OMG, LOVEEEE That Matthew is with his golden retirever! have you managed to sus out from easter egg droppings any intel on his ship? If its a she…? or him… or they.?

Re Asking the It-Girl of Shadowhunters to potentially give me the low down of what i have missed from the fandom these past two-three months i have been away!

I really am soooo out of the loop on all recent happenings and shiftings and lurkings in the fandom? Have there been any? Any new releases? Any new CC updates?

Have you bought anything new shadowhunter related? Like either in terms of art… or memorabilia?

Finally, my kickstarter box hasn’t been shipped either girlie! I am right there with you!!!!! I am not really that mad because I feel like i know this might sound weird, but even from my hiatus of Shadowhunters i still felt really well fed with all the lovely bonus chapters you always post! I loveddd two days ago the newly posted James and Cordelia’s Primemark Adventure bonus chap for example. It just REALLY Just is so well written AND it always satiates that era and time period of London so deeply!

Cheers to more ❤️‍🔥🌈🌈🌈🤗

JAPAN! So one of my best friends lives there. She's dear to me. I'm visiting her! But also, I've wanted to go to Japan since I was a little kid because I grew up in a Japanese language/culture immersion program. So this is like, a lifelong dream coming true!

I'm going to do TSC blorbo book recs in another post :) Just for you!

Honestly, TLH is always going to give me spring vibes. (Oddly, this is probably my strongest time-of-the-year TSC association - it's just such a gentle and comforting series, like a breezy spring day with flowers blooming after the frost is gone for the year.) I associate it from start to finish with light academia pastel vibes and dewy flowers, and the end of ChoT is New Beginnings incarnate.

Here's a recent commission I bought that reflects the Vibe of TLH for me! It's on my wall now. :)

But yes, agree that TID is winter (for Wessa proposal lmao) and that TMI is fall based on Vibes. Not sure about TWP yet since I've only read the first chapter, I'll wait and see what I think when it comes out!

Re: Matthew ship! We got a snippet (now on Cassie's Tumblr) that brought up a young man named Sylvain Allard. I thought from Moment 1 that he was probably Matthew's love interest.

Catching Up With the Fandom.

Some stuff you may have missed!

Matthew snippets one and two. three. The novella is called A Sea Change! Matthew art is what I showed you before.

The Matthew sticker was accidentally excluded from the first KS box, so he will be arriving fashionably late in the same box as his novella.

The Thomas journal is unfortunately paperback rather than hardback as advertised. This has disappointed me, but it's okay.

I assume you got the Better in Black list, but if not, it's Wessa, Herondaisy, Thomastair, Arianna, Clace, Sizzy, Sebastian/Seelie Queen, Luke/Jocelyn, Blackstairs, and Kierarktina.

First chapter of TWP has been making the rounds via DM, I have indeed read it. It met my expectations. Let me know if you want me to DM it to you.

Anddd....

I'm so glad that you have been enjoying my "bonus chapters!" I hope to have one I'm currently working on up in a couple of days. We shall see. :)

I'm not upset that my box hasn't shipped, there are four (4) people shipping out like 10,000 boxes. It's gonna take a while, and it's okay. I'll be happy when it gets here!

[selenityshiroiml]

So...I’ve seen somewhere that, at some point, Chat Noir will not be a part of the show for a bit. And I started to think of a scenario where it would work, but I’m not a massive fic writer and all my ideas are building up into a huge plot but with no major desire to write it. So...massive post-Gabriel/Hawkmoth story idea under the cut

So, I had the idea that the miraculous crew (all reunited for the big event) would find out Gabriel was Hawkmoth and quickly work to take him out. And, yeah, Chat Noir was a bit off during the take down but at least they all stopped Gabriel and got him and Nathalie arrested and they got back the Peacock Miraculous (but the Butterfly got knocked off and is still missing because Butterfly User Lila).

And the crew are all ‘oh shit...what about poor Adrien (who none of us know personally of course) he wasn’t here at the mansion when we ruined his life so we should all split up and go look for him’

(Nino finds him crying on his doorstep)

But then the next day Adrien kind of closes off and goes off radar for a bit because comatose Emilie was found and he’s now splitting time between the hospital and trying to make sure Agreste Fashion doesn’t tank and take all it’s innocent employees with it and a hotel because he is not going back to that mansion. And all his friends are giving him space because they love him and know he’s gone through a lot with his dad and psudo-stepmom being magical terrorists. And maybe they also don’t want to push because they also feel a little guilty for slapping the cuffs on.

In the meantime Chat Noir and Ladybug are still looking for the missing Butterfly but Chat is still off and he asks Ladybug if he can take some time for personal reasons. And Ladybug is all ‘what??? is something wrong?’ and he tells her that a family member is has been ill for a long time and they might need to be transferred for specialist medical treatment. But he’s being sufficiently vague enough that Ladybug assumes he’s been taking care of a family member with cancer or something and ‘OMG how long has he been struggling, was this happening before Hawkmoth??? Did he put off telling her or asking to take time off because he was worried about leaving her alone to deal with the akumas and everything???’

So she’s all ‘of course you can take some time you are my friend and partner and I care about you and I know you’ll be back as soon as you can and I hope everything goes well in your real life’

But what’s really happening is that the Guardian Temple has been in contact with Adrien and are all ‘we can help heal your mother...come to Tibet’ and Adrien is all ‘well...I can’t take the Black Cat Miraculous to Tibet with me because Ladybug might need it to protect her’ so he sends Plagg off with the ring and tells him to take it back to the Guardian (he isn’t truly renouncing it, he’s just being a selfless moron).

Of course, Marinette gets home from school and finds Plagg hissing and spitting at all the Kwami in her room and she realises Plagg is there with the ring and they are both so angry and upset at Chat Noir because ‘how fucking dare he’ and she refuses to put the ring away and no way in HELL is anyone else wearing it. She puts it on a cord around her neck and keeps it under her shirt at all times.

And then a few days later Adrien (who has slowly started messaging his friends back and thanking them for their support) shows up at school to say goodbye for a bit because he’s taking his mother to a specialist in China and everyone is all sad face but hopes everything goes well. (and obviously no one thinks twice about the fact that Adrien is leaving Paris not long after Chat Noir stopped appearing) And Tikki is shoving cheese scones into Plagg’s mouth whilst they hide in Marinette’s bag because she’s afraid he’s gonna shout out for his kitten before he drives off.

But then he’s gone and Marinette misses Chat Noir like anything and she misses Adrien and Alya is all ‘sooooo...can we borrow the ring?’ and Marinette and Plagg are both ‘OVER MY DEAD BODY’.

And then at some point a weird Miraculous user turns up with another strange user acting as a Mandarin-French interpreter and they ask Ladybug for the Peacock to heal Emilie Agreste. And she is all ‘wt actual fuck???’ and is all ‘let me think about it’ because Plagg is hidden in her hair whispering ‘you can trust them...especially the young one’ and she says to come back the next night and she’ll give her answer.

So she does the only thing she can think of to get answers as to why the Peacock might help Emilie. She sneaks into jail and asks Gabriel. And Gabriel, who has had time to think about his defeat and add 2 and 2 together to make 4 has realised that she is Marinette (he’s also worked out that Chat Noir is his son but he’s keeping quiet) and is open with her about how Emilie fell into a coma because of the Peacock and that, yes, it might be used to help her recover but he has no idea how. He also asks pointed questions about Sentimonsters and how she treated the Ladybug Sentimonster as a living being because maybe there might be a repercussion you aren’t willing to be responsible for.

Ladybug agrees to give the Peacock Miraculous to the Guardian Temple representatives on the promise that it is returned to her via Adrien and Emilie Agreste when they return, safe and well, to Paris.

In the meantime the Adrien-less plot ticks away with new Akuma victims showing up (showing that some asshole really DOES have the butterfly) but the motives seem to be less ‘bring me their miraculous’ and more ‘fuck everyone in Paris because i’m angry and upset because no one believes in me or gives me the attention i want’ because fucking Lila.

And at one point Nino, Alya and Marinette go and check out apartments on behalf of Adrien who has shortlisted places from China but wants his friends to check them out physically for him because he trusts them (and they are all ‘oh shit...this is an apartment but it’s like three times the size of all our places combined why is our friend so rich...) because I think that would be cute.

Until one day the news breaks out that Nathalie has disappeared in jail and all that is left is a feather, mostly white but with tints of blue at the edges. Marinette is all ‘shit...that’s an amok thing’ and manages to convince the police to give Ladybug the feather. She purifies the feather and on the otherside of the planet Emilie Agreste wakes up.

(Because Nathalie was a sentimonster that critically ill Emilie made and was filled with her desire to look after her husband and son and the reason why Gabriel didn’t try to destroy Nathalie to help Emilie is because by the time he realised what Nathalie was she was already a real person in his eyes, like the Ladybug Sentimonster, and also she was a part of Emilie and he didn’t want to risk destroying her if it wouldn’t help because she was all he had of his wife and he’s actually sad that Nathalie might be gone, even if it means Emilie wakes)

And then Adrien comes home and Emilie is still weak but hey at least she is there and she pays attention to her son which is more than Gabriel ever did (and it’s kind of weird that she seems to know things that only Nathalie knew...it’s like she saw her son grow up as if watching a movie).

And then Adrien sneaks up on Ladybug whilst she’s out and about (because he knows all her normal patrol spots) in order to return the Peacock. And Ladybug has spent the last while swearing to Plagg that when Chat comes back she is going to say fuck it to the hidden identities because she is going to shove the ring back on his damned finger herself and never let him take it off again. So Plagg has no qualms about zooming out of Ladybug’s hair and smooshing straight into Adrien’s face screaming ‘IF YOU EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN I WILL COUGH UP A CAMEMBERT FLAVOURED HAIRBALL DIRECTLY INTO YOUR MOUTH YOU RAT BASTARD’

And that isn’t how Marinette or Adrien expected the reveal to go but whatever.

(alternatively they could hold out on the reveal and just have a cute Ladrien scene of Adrien thanking Ladybug for helping his mother heal whilst she is all awkwardly all ‘sorry I got your father arrested’ and then when Marinette gets home Plagg is all ‘wow...will you look at the time, I think Chat Noir might be mysteriously ready for me to take my ring back to him’ and then he flies off and two days later Ladybug finds Chat Noir on top of the Montparnasse Tower and she tackle hugs him off the side of the building and they have to quickly stop each other from falling to their deaths via yoyo and staff and they end up tangled together whilst ugly crying because they missed each other SOOOOOO MUCH)

[illfoandillfie]

ok take this: seaside rendezvous universe, Joe and y/n somehow get to add eachother on snapchat and the old dynamic is back almost immediately 🤠

omg thank you for requesting SR stuff because these two nerds are so much fun to write. Light smut ahead.

Okay so lets say the ski trip went really well. Like really well.  

Your friends and his friends kind of ended up spending a lot of time together just because you and joe wanted to spend time together

A lot of nights at the bar drinking and dancing, days on the ski slopes sometimes letting joe “teach you how to ski” (which is basically just an excuse for him to stand really close with his hands on your hips) sometimes racing him down the slope (you were both passably good at it but certainly not the best in the group)

And of course annoying all your friends with how much sex you were having (partly because you knew you didn’t have to hide it so you were a little careless about locking doors, partly because they were a little jealous)

But at the end of the week you know you have to go back to your own colleges and you wont be able to see him every day and that bums you out. But you have your deal so on the last day you swap numbers and emails and agree to keep in contact and see what happens.

And it works well enough. He texts you a lot during the day and sends you emails when bigger things happen that take longer to write about. Occasionally you talk on the phone too.

Gradually though you start adding each other on social media

It starts with Instagram, you were out with some friends and ended up stopping into this dessert café with a whole menu of lactose free ice creams that you knew was the sort of place Joe would like so you send him a link to the photos you posted on insta and he follows you and you start chatting on there regularly because its easier to send memes that way.  

And then he goes on a twitter rant and he knows you’ll agree with him so he shows you and you follow him there

And it’s really great, seeing these parts of his life and finding out new things about each other but the one downside is the lack of sex.

Sexting is weird and you kind of feel like a dickhead while you’re doing it and its never as good as everyone seems to say it is, and theres the worry you’ll send something to the wrong person

So you don’t really do anything with it. You might get off thinking about Joe and you assume he thinks about you but you don’t really talk about it

Until you and Bea are getting coffee one day and shes telling you about the guy shes been seeing and she mentions he’s away for the week visiting his family but they’ve been sending each other dirty shit on snapchat

And it blows your mind

So as soon as you get back to your room (and you’ve double checked you have the place to yourself) you pull out your favourite lingerie and send Joe a message to add you on snapchat 

He takes a minute because he has to redownload the app and try to remember his password but he eventually gets on

You dm him and ask where he is at the moment

He’s at home, chilling out, procrastinating

You send him the photo you just took

And he’s like completely blown away like sends you a bunch of heart eyes emojis and stuff

And then he asks if you have any more photos (👀)

“I might. Or maybe I could just do this instead” you open the video chat and he answers really fucking quickly.

Like dude didn’t even realise video chat was an option but he’s tapping answer literally the second he sees it and he’s fucking beaming at you

“Why the fuck didn’t we think of this earlier? I’ve been fucking typing out shit for how long now and I could’ve just been talking?”

“You are very good at talking. Not so great at the shutting up.”

You’re both laughing but then Joe remembers what you’re wearing and he’s like “sooooo was there a reason you called? Something I can help you with?” and his tone is so suggestive and flirty you find yourself practically whining when you say you miss him.

“Anything else?”

“I –”

“Go on,”

“I, uh, I haven’t cum as hard as you could make me since we were skiing,”

“Well let’s see If I can’t fix that.”

He starts just asking questions – What do you normally think about? (“Oh me? Well that’s flattering.”), do you put music on? Light some candles? Make a night of it?

When you tell him how you normally go about it he’s like “okay so why don’t you start with your fingers, just lightly. Are you going to listen to my instructions?”

You say yes and start touching yourself how he says, changing whenever he tells you to (“Take off your panties and rub your clit for me. No, slow down, good girl.”)

And it’s so similar to what you’d normally do to get off but with the added bonus of Joe’s voice, getting lower and rougher and a little more breathless as he watches you and jerks off.

He tells you what he wants to see, where to move the camera, comments on how wet you sound or how much he wishes he could be there doing this in person.

“Of course, if I was there I’d have such a hard time resisting fucking you. I’d be torn between being in your cunt and watching you be an obedient little slut. Fuck, just thinking about you all spread out under me has me close. You wanna see what you do to me?”

“Mmhmm – oh god – yes”

“Are you close”

“So close,”

“I wanna watch you first. Do whatever you need to do to cum so I can watch you.”

It doesn’t take much longer – you adjust what you’re doing just a little bit but you can hear him grunting as he holds back his own orgasm and that just makes you want to cum more.

He praises you as you ride it out, calls you a good girl again and tells you it’s so fucking hot watching you cum and then once you’ve calmed down a little bit he tells you to keep your eyes on him and he finally lets go, moaning your name while you whine about wishing he was cumming in you instead.  

Theres a bit of quiet while you both collect yourselves and then Joe’s groaning about needing to clean himself up and your both laughing about it but he tells you to stay on the line. He props his phone up as he does a rudimentary clean up with some tissues and then you’re left just looking at his room while he slips on his underwear and goes to clean it off properly.

You take the chance to run and pee and sort yourself out and by the time he’s back you’re curled up in bed with your phone trying not to yawn.

“Okay I’m back. How was that?”

“It was brilliant Joe,”

“Yeah? Looked like you came pretty hard so I guess I helped.”

You laugh and say yes and check he liked it too and then you end up talking for a little while about your days and just casual stuff like that. 

Joe comments that you look tired and you say you didn’t sleep great last night so you could probably do with a nap but you also don’t want to stop talking to him.

He says he’s happy to talk for as long as you want and he’s still there when you drift off.  

[ahtohallan-calling]

chapter 5 of don’t read the last page is here!

[kristanna / m / multichap / modern au with actress!anna and vetstudent!kristoff]

He’d put the phone down on the counter while he made breakfast, but now that his hands were free again he still didn’t pick it up; after their initial awkward phone call, they’d started FaceTiming instead, and as much as he loved seeing her face, he was really glad she couldn’t see his right now.

“And I was soo confused, so I started telling her, like, ‘Seriously, Honey, he’s got this amazing blond hair that you just like, want to touch all the time and these big brown eyes and little freckles and plus I’m pretty sure he’s kind of ripped and I—‘ Kristoff, I heard the microwave go off already. Are you hiding from me?”

“No,” he muttered, his face turning even redder.

chapter 5

day 1

Sven was just stumbling into the kitchen when Kristoff came in. He frowned, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

“You look really happy for someone who just dropped off their girlfriend at the airport for a six-week trip,” he said, pouring a glass of chocolate milk. 

“Not my girlfriend.”

“Not the important part of that sentence.”

Kristoff snagged the bottle and poured himself a cup. “This is mine, by the way, so you owe me.”

“Fine, I’ll buy toilet paper l-- no, I know you, Bjorgman, you’re trying to distract me.”

Sven narrowed his eyes further, fixing Kristoff with a hard stare. He tried to look as innocent as possible as he went to rummage through the fridge, but then he remembered the way Anna had clung to him, the feel of her little hands in his hair, the press of her lips against--

“Oh my god! You kissed her!”

Kristoff stood, not bothering to hide his smile anymore. “Well, technically, she kissed me.”

“I fucking called it, man, I knew you wouldn’t be able to hold off that much longer.”

“We really did try.”

“You didn’t even make it a week, my guy,” Sven said amiably, meandering into the living room. “You tried harder at Mario Kart the other night. Which, by the way, I know you lost on purpose so Anna could win.”

Kristoff considered arguing, but then his phone lit up with a text from Anna, so instead he grinned and walked away to the sound of Sven sighing dramatically. “I heard that buzz! I know it’s her! Jesus, I’d say get a room, but--”

Kristoff didn’t hear the rest as he shut his bedroom door.

kris!! theres wifi i can text you

Im in first class look 

..

That’s crazy

They gave you champagne this early in the morning?

..

supposed to be for mimosas

but it’s like 5 o clock somewhere

specifically romania so

..

That jet lag is going to be rough.

How long is your flight?

..

10 hrs to london then 3 to bucharest💀

but i think my seat turns into a bed so ill try to sleep

theres sooooo many movies tho!

omg theyre bringing more snacks….i feel like a movie star already

..

You kind of are.

..

havent made the movie yet!!

oh the director is here he wants to talk ttyl

..

:)

---

day 4

For some reason, her hands were shaking as they hovered over the green button. “Just do it, Anna,” she muttered to herself. “It’s just Kristoff. He told you to call.”

Thanks to the time difference and long flights, it had taken most of two days to even get here, and on her first full day in Romania she’d been so overwhelmed with the film set and meeting her co-star Adam and talking to the directors and producers and costumers and cameramen that she’d completely crashed the moment she’d gotten back to her hotel room. She’d woken up in the middle of the night and sent Kristoff a quick text apologizing for not calling; he’d responded almost immediately, reassuring her that it was fine and to just call him the next day. At a reasonable hour, he’d made sure to add, not at 2 A.M. Go back to sleep.

She had, and then she’d nearly missed her alarm and hadn’t had time to call him in the morning, and then she’d been filming her first scene and been so overwhelmed by all of that that now it was nearly six o’clock, and it was the first time she’d gotten to look at her phone all day.

He’d texted her once at around 9 A.M. her time. Good luck today! You’ll kill it. Her heart had done a funny little flip at the message, simple as it was; every time she thought of Kristoff, it didn’t feel quite real, like it was just a daydream she would wake up from, but here it was, concrete proof that even literally halfway around the world-- more than halfway, actually-- he was still thinking of her, still caring about her.

The remembrance of that was what finally gave her the courage to hit call. She felt too nervous to FaceTime him, especially considering she was already in sweatpants and halfway through eating a bowl of pasta on her bed. He picked up on the third ring, sounding breathless for some reason.

“Hey! Anna! How are you?”

“I’m, um, I’m good! How are you? You sound kind of...out of breath?”

“Oh, yeah, you caught me at the gym, so I--”

“Oh! I’m so sorry, let me hang up and--”

“No, don’t! I’m almost done, just--”

There was a quick beep in the background, and a whirring noise she hadn’t noticed until now stopped. “Okay, sorry, we’re good.”

She couldn’t help but imagine what he looked like right now, with his hair hanging in his eyes and sweat dripping down his very well-muscled--

“Anna? You there?”

He’d just asked her something, but she’d been too busy daydreaming to catch it. Maybe it really was for the best she hadn’t gone for FaceTime; she probably would have been struck speechless at the sight of him. “Sorry, I was just-- sorry. Um. What did you say?”

He laughed softly. “I asked how your first day of filming went.”

“Oh! It was good, really good, actually. We filmed that scene I auditioned with, actually. They changed the bit about the cowboy boots.”

“Thank god. I don’t know anything about movies, but I know that was awful.”

“Oh, yeah, Adam-- that’s who’s playing Jesse-- he said they’d have to double his paycheck if they wanted him to say shit like that, and then we kind of improv-ed something else and it went really well.”

“That’s awesome!”

Anna felt herself blushing, just barely, at the sound of the genuine pride in his voice. “It was, um, it was nothing, really.”

“So how’s all of it going? Are the...um...honestly, I don’t know who all is involved in making movies. But are the other people nice?”

“Yeah! I really like the girl who does my hair and makeup, her name’s Honey. Isn’t that cute?”

Kristoff laughed; she could hear him starting the car in the background. Anna bit her lip. “Oh-- did you get to shower?”

“I will at home, don’t worry. Anyway--”

“You need to focus on driving? Yeah, I totally get it, seriously. Bye!”

She hit the red button and quickly dropped her phone. Her heart had been pounding the whole time; god, she was really out of practice with this whole thing. Embarrassment swept over her, and she buried her face in her knees; how the hell was this going to work when she was too self-conscious to talk to him for more than five minutes? God, she’d be lucky if he ever bothered to call her again after this.

To her surprise, the phone buzzed only a moment later. She debated picking it up for a long moment, then decided to go ahead and rip the bandaid off and snatched it up.

Just FYI, I was feeling really nervous, too. Want me to call you back after I get home and shower?

For some reason, tears started to fill her eyes as she typed a response. 

yes please :)

She showered, too, taking her time as she let the hot water work its magic on the tension in her shoulders, drawing in slow, deep breaths to steady herself. It wasn’t that every guy she’d ever dated had been bad, per se, just that it had been quite a long time since she’d been with someone who made her feel this nervous and excited and terrified and joyful all at once-- actually, now that she thought about it, she didn’t know if she’d ever liked someone else this much right off the bat. Since coming to L.A. almost two years ago, she’d had a string of bad luck with men, and it was strange readjusting to the notion that one would want to talk to her as much as she wanted to talk to him, that he actually wanted to hear about her day, that he saw right through all her embarrassing little defense mechanisms and somehow knew just what to say to make her feel better. Of course they knew each other, but this was something different, something more, as if she didn’t even have to say something for him to understand.

Her phone buzzed again ten minutes after she got out of the shower; with a smile, she picked it up.

“Hey, Kris.”

“Hey, Anna.”

“Ready to try again?”

“With you? Always.”

---

day 9

“So I was telling her, like, ‘I wish I had a recent picture of him to show you because he’s like, super super hot.’ And she kind of made this face and was like ‘that won’t make a difference.’”

He’d put the phone down on the counter while he made breakfast, but now that his hands were free again he still didn’t pick it up; after their initial awkward phone call, they’d started FaceTiming instead, and as much as he loved seeing her face, he was really glad she couldn’t see his right now. 

“And I was soo confused, so I started telling her, like, ‘Seriously, Honey, he’s got this amazing blond hair that you just like, want to touch all the time and these big brown eyes and little freckles and plus I’m pretty sure he’s kind of ripped and I—‘ Kristoff, I heard the microwave go off already. Are you hiding from me?”

“No,” he muttered, his face turning even redder. 

Anna giggled. “Then show me your face.”

He did so reluctantly; to his surprise, she didn’t laugh. “Kris, you know you are, like, super handsome, right? Seriously.”

“I’m, um, I’m just gonna—“

“I mean it. Like I get why you’re feeling shy about it and stuff but just know that, okay?”

He only nodded, feeling a little better, although his face was still heated. Anna, knowing when to leave well enough alone, smiled at him and continued her story. “Anyway, I told her all that and she just started laughing, and finally when I was done she was like ‘Anna, I’m gay’. And so then I showed her a picture of my sister, and I’m just saying, when we’re back in LA, we’re definitely doing a double date.”

—-

day 15

She didn’t know why she felt so nervous about telling him about it. She’d already texted him that morning telling him what scenes they were filming, and it wasn’t like it had meant anything; it was just part of the movie, and Adam was married anyway— but then again, it wasn’t that part that had really been bothering her. She still wasn’t sure until she was explaining it all to Kristoff, forcing herself to maintain eye contact as she held up her phone inside the blanket nest she’d constructed on her bed. 

“And like, he and I are good friends now, so that at least made it easier. And we were all in character and stuff, so, you know, it felt right, and then they started the fake snow going and we just did it, you know?”

“Uh-huh,” Kristoff said, his voice neutral. 

“That like— this doesn’t bother you, right?” she asked quickly. “Because seriously, it didn’t mean—“

“Anna, I know. This is literally your job, I’m not jealous or anything. But please tell me if I ever make you feel like I’m mad or something, because I’m seriously not.”

She let out the breath she’d been holding. “I— I know. I just...wanted to make sure. Because it still, like...still felt weird to me, you know? And I can’t figure out why.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “Have you done this before? Like, stage kissing and stuff?”

“Oh, yeah, lots of times. But this time felt kind of different. I just don’t know why.”

He considered it for a moment, looking so thoughtful she couldn’t help but smile, feeling a little flutter in her chest at the thought that he really and truly cared about helping her figure this out. “Enough about me, though, tell me about that crazy to-go order you texted me about. Did you end up getting to see the person who’d ordered it?”

They talked for so long Anna lost track of time, until she yawned so widely Kristoff stopped talking mid-sentence. 

“Anna, what time is it there?”

“Um...close to eleven?”

“What time did you get up this morning?”

“...four.”

He laughed softly. “Get some sleep. I’ll talk to you again tomorrow morning, okay?”

She wanted to argue, but honestly she’d been fighting to keep her eyes open for the last half hour. “Night, Kris.”

“Night, Anna. Sweet dreams.”

He said that every night, but the way he’d smiled tonight— she was thinking about it until long after she’d hung up her phone and closed her eyes. Then, suddenly, she sat upright and snatched it up again, typing furiously. 

figured it out...before, there’s never been someone i ACTUALLY wanted to kiss instead 

..

:)

I wish it had been me, too. 

—

day 21

hey kris!!! sorry i know it’s the middle of the night there so i hope this doesn’t wake you up but i set an alarm on my phone for the exact time and as of like 10 seconds ago we’re halfway there!!!!!!! 😊😊😊

To her surprise, a response came just a few minutes later. 

:) Knew we could do this.

—

day 23

“I got my class schedule today.”

“Yeah? Show me!”

He held it up awkwardly to the camera, and she squinted at it. “Oh, wow, that’s a lot of blocks. Are you still going to work at Starbucks?”

“Yeah, I’ve been there the whole time I’ve been in school. Just work less hours on weekdays, usually pick up some early morning weekend shifts.”

“Oh, that sucks.”

He shrugged. “It works out. I, uh, I’ve got some scholarships that cover most of my tuition, so then it’s, y’know. Rent money and stuff.”

Anna frowned, feeling suddenly acutely aware of how much money she was making for a lot less work. “Will you have, like...any free time?”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” he said quickly, suddenly sounding nervous. “I promise I’ll still have time to hang out with you and stuff, just--”

“No, no that’s like-- shit, that’s not what I meant, Kris, I mean I kind of did but like-- I’m not trying to like, pressure you or--”

“No, I get it, I--”

“No, I mean like school is way important and you like--”

“Seriously, when I say we can--”

Anna took a deep breath. “Okay. You talk first.”

“I, um. I don’t want you to think, like, I won’t make time for you or something, though. Um-- that was all.”

She smiled, wishing she could be there in person; it was so much easier to reassure him when she could just squeeze his hand. “Seriously, that’s not what I meant. I was just worried about you, ‘cause that’s, like, a lot of stress. So if there’s anything I can do to like, help or whatever, just...just let me know. Like...with anything.”

“Seriously, I think it’ll help a ton to just have a pretty girl keeping me company while I study.”

She felt her cheeks turn pink. “What if I end up wanting to distract you?”

Now she wasn’t the only one blushing.

---

day 30

“Miss you.”

“Miss you, too.”

Tonight, there wasn’t really anything else to say.

—- 

day 34

He’d stopped leaving his phone on silent overnight; it was silly, really, but he always had a tiny fear that maybe something would happen over in Romania while he was asleep, and maybe Anna would need to reach him, and there probably wouldn’t be anything he could actually do...but still.

Despite that, though, it still took a lot to wake him, so when his phone went off one night close to three in the morning, he nearly missed the call. “Hello?” he mumbled sleepily, putting it to his ear.

He heard a familiar little giggle. “It’s FaceTime, Kris. I’m sorry to wake you up, I just-- I really wanted you to see this.”

“Oh-- hang on.” He fumbled for his glasses on the nightstand, sliding them on and blinking blearily at the screen. “Um...where are you? I just see, like...the ceiling?”

“Oh-- that’s cause I gave my phone to Honey, just a second, and she’ll show you.”

The phone was lifted up suddenly by a pretty woman with bronze skin and dark hair thrown up into a bun. “Nice to meet you, Anna’s boyfriend.”

He wondered if she could see him blush even in the dark room. “Nice to meet you, too.”

“Okay, okay, I’m ready!” he heard Anna chirp from somewhere. “Turn the camera!”

Honey did with a laugh, and Kristoff sat upright, his eyes wide. Anna was in a deep blue ballgown that fit perfectly to her torso before flaring out into a long, shimmery skirt. Her hair was down, set in curls that shone especially bright against the dark color of the gown, and she was smiling so brightly he thought his heart was going to burst.

“You look beautiful, baby,” he said, half-convinced he was still dreaming.

She was quiet for a moment, and then he realized she was blushing bright red. He heard Honey giggle, and then the phone was being handed back over to Anna. “You’ve never called me that before.”

“What, beautiful? I definitely--”

“No, I--” Her blush deepened. “Kris, are you wearing a shirt?”

He glanced down. “Oh-- uh, no, I’m not. Sorry, I didn’t think you’d be able to see without the lights--”

A mischievous glint was twinkling in her eye. “Trust me, Bjorgman, there’s nothing to apologize for.”

Now he was blushing, too. “Um-- so you’ve got to be filming something special today, right?”

“Yeah, the big ballroom scene. I just...I really love this dress, and the way Honey did my hair and stuff, and I, um...I wanted you to see.”

He smiled softly. “I’m glad. You really do look so, so beautiful.”

She opened her mouth to say something else, but then he heard Honey call, “Hey, Anna, say bye to the boyfriend, they want you on set in five.”

Anna turned back to the camera, looking suddenly nervous. “Kris, are you my boyfriend?”

“Do you want me to be?”

“Yeah.”

He grinned, no longer sleepy. “Okay.”

Anna laughed. “Okay?”

“Hey, it’s still the middle of the night, and I’m still kind of speechless after seeing you in that dress. Cut me some slack.”

“Go back to bed. Sorry I woke you up.”

He yawned. “I’m not.”

---

day 40

“Look! All packed!” She grinned, turning her phone quickly around the room to show off her only slightly overstuffed suitcases. “And ready to come home!”

“Do you think you’ll miss it?”

“No, I mean...it’s beautiful and all here, but it’s still not home.”

Kristoff grinned at that. “You still want me to pick you up from the airport?”

“Um, is that even a question?”

He laughed. “Just making sure! I mean, six weeks is a long time, don’t know if you got tired of me.”

“Kristoff, the second I get back to LA, I’m like, jumping on you again and kissing the fuck out of you.”

He waggled his eyebrows. “And then?”

She could tease him, too. “And then you’d better hurry the hell up and take me back to your apartment so I can show you how much I missed you.”

“....Jesus Christ. Why does waiting two more days suddenly feel so much longer than the other forty?”

[curseofthespirit]

Thank you so much for this blessing of an opportunity. May I please have some general texting hcs for the ROs? I remember there being a part of the old demo where you got to text w/ Leo and that was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I still think about it sometimes. So would it be alright if I asked for more?

yes omg of course you can :’^) that’s sooooo long ago haha, how do you have that good of a memory?? i didn’t even remember that until now lol. that’s so cute.

“…where am i?”

You can’t help but chuckle at the text as you wait in line in a sunny supermarket, just down the street from the academy. You were sent money from various relatives for your birthday yesterday, all regretting missing it and wishing you an amazing day (which did end up pretty great). And what better thing to spend money on than more snacks?

You: my room?

Leo: well i know that nowwww

Shortly after you pay and leave the market, you’re sent a mirror selfie of Leo, who has your blanket wrapped around his shoulders, the pale color matching the circles under his eyes and the color of his t-shirt. He looks rather unamused to have woken up in your room.

You: don’t leaaaave i’m coming back

Leo: …with food?

Leo: no food no deal

You: of course

Leo: nice, but i’m leaving before i get caught here. it was bad enough i slept over.

You: c’mon, we were cuddlingggg

Leo: it’s against the rules

You: it was cuteeeee

Leo: hmmmm

minutes later

You: i’m at the door anyway. let me in, cutie.

Leo: …

Leo: only bc u called me cutie

“um. do you want to like, date me?”

Oh, Gods.

What a dumb question to ask.

Your heart jolts when the message goes from unopened to read, and at the same moment, you realize how stupid this situation is. Three dots bounce in place, then retract, then continue, then retract, then stop altogether and you nearly break out in a cold sweat. Was that a stupid thing to ask? But just how stupid? Stupid enough to get made fun of for the rest of your high school years? Or more like the kind of stupid that gets forgotten about in week?

You look back down at your phone.

Saro: …

Saro: this is the fourth time you’ve asked me in a week

You might actually be sweating at this point.

You: i just thought i’d ask again to make sure…

Saro: not even the gods can explain my love for you

You: haha, i love you too

Saro: u dork. how have i tolerated you for so long?

You: just come to my room. i know for a fact you’re not doing homework.

Saro: wowww 

Saro: fuck u i’m working sooo hard rn

You: yeah? did you finally beat that boss level?

Saro: …shut up

You: :-)

You: come through my window. i’m not getting caught again.

Saro: :-/

Saro: only for you

“so… i have a problem…”

Your hand thwacks against your alarm, though nothing happens as a result. It takes you a few seconds to come to your senses, realizing the alarm wasn’t going off, your phone was. You groan, squinting against the sunlight shining through your curtains. One missed call from Theta 💕.

You: what’s going on?

Theta: did i wake you up? :-(

You: little bit

You: but it’s okay

You: what’s going on?

Theta: good morning baby, how did you sleep?

You: do you want something from me? 👀

Theta: nooo

It takes you a few seconds to come to a realization.

You: oh 

You: i see what’s going on here…

Theta: no you don’t…

You: you had a cute dream about me and now you have to tell me *all* about it again?

Theta: …

Theta: yessss…

“you’re with her again?”

Yes, you’re with her again. Theta’s been a loyal friend and most importantly she gives you answers does homework with you, which is nice of her. Who else are you going to sit next to in the library anyway? It’s not like Lilith shows up here a lot.

You: yes. is there a problem?

Lilith: ew

You: come onnnn

You: she’s a friend

Lilith: she’s always around you. i can’t ever talk to you.

You: first of all, calm down

Lilith: no

Lilith: what if she likes you.

You: Lily?

Lilith: i fucking hate that nickname

Lilith: what

You: i love you

Lilith: i know that

You: do you really?

Lilith: you only say it every ten seconds…

You: you only say it… about every ten days.

Lilith: …well i do

You: sorry, you do what?

Lilith: stop

You: oh, i thought you wanted to tell me something for some reason.

You: weird

You: never mind then

Lilith: hey

You: yeah?

Lilith: i

You: uh huh?

Lilith: lllllll

You: you lllllll…?

Lilith: love

You: sorry, i don’t know what you’re trying to say?

Lilith: i love

You: yeah?

Lilith: you

You: woah

You: i’m sorry i think we’re moving a little too fast here

Lilith: fuck off.

Lilith shuts her phone off and drops it onto her bed, pressing a hand against her burning cheek, thanking the Gods that her blushing face is hidden from you.

You: i love you too, Lily ♡

!! i wrote something !! i hope you like it :^) 

[jimlingss]

THIS WAS SOOOOO GOOD AND CLEVER ON HOW U INCORPORATED SO MANY DIFFERENT FAIRYTALES OMG so sad when jungkook and her WHOLE ENTIRE FAMILY DIDNT RECOGNIZE HEr idgnjdjfgfjd but her whole relationship came along w jimin sigh

[the messages answered below including my responses include SPOILERS]

*SPOILER ALERT*

Hell yeah! Thanks for noticing! I knew I definitely wanted to add in fairytales and I started organizing as many as I could fit in. I think it’s super powerful that the first time any fairytale is introduced is Beauty and The Beast (when OC goes knocking on that door as the ‘enchantress’ and he fails to give her a room). He was turned into a beast, much similarly to OC. And the curse OC uses on the end for her and Jimin is the same curse she uses to curse that child (with the parents who ripped her flowers) - it’s supposed to be Sleeping Beauty’s curse.

Anyways, yeah, super heartbreaking that Jungkook didn’t recognize her....

Anonymous said: Sorry, I don't know if i missed something, but how did Jungkook realize it was OC in the end? Was it because of Jimin? Or was it just a gut feeling?

I imagine both had to do with it, but more so gut feeling and he finally looked at her. Basically imagine from Jungkook’s standpoint - this witch ends up insisting that she’s your fiancee and you tell her to fuck off basically and you go kill her. But oh! She disappears instead! What. the. fuck. but fine, no revenge - at least there’s peace in your kingdom again.

Fast forward, your baby gets fucking kidnapped. Fast forward more, you find out that your kid is still alive, actually living well, and is being raised by someone. You’re like ??????? wHY. you go there and it’s THE FUCKING SAME WITCH. why would she take your kid? why should she raise your child so well and not harm her? 

That, plus Jimin’s appearance and you finally look into her eyes and then you’re trying to make sense of it.....you’re adding all the things up...her continued insistence that she’s your ‘dead’ fiancee and the way she calls your name...

gee golly, it must actually be her! :O *insert surprised pikachu mee* 

Anonymous said: Why does A Kiss Of Poison reminds me of Shrek 😂 Just the anti-fairytale aspect of it. Anyway, do you think that if OC actually received true love’s kiss, the spell would be broken?

Woo-hoo! You’re right! I love messing with superhero tropes and I love messing with fairytale tropes too! I feel like there’s so much to do on both those tropes compared to how it’s usually presented in a very cookie-cutter manner.

It actually wasn’t inspired by Sherk tho. It was inspired by two things...which I’ll talk about down below. To answer your question....I don’t know. It’s up to you to decide. Jimin is definitely not OC’s true love. The only person who could’ve given her true love’s kiss is Jungkook...the question is: would it have worked?

I left that up for you to decide.

Anonymous said: Hey, I just read A Kiss of Poison and I really liked it. It was a sad fic, but I think in a way she did end up getting her happy ending-even if it wasn't the one that she hoped for at first. I liked how you incorporated different stories and characters into this one fic, and how it shows you the "villain's" perspective. The poor girl suffered so much because of one mistake.

I knew from the very start I wanted OC to end up in a dream or a dream-like state or a dream-like heaven. It would be too cruel to let her die after all that and I knew it would be cruel to leave her in that world she was living in too. I really like bittersweet endings for angst, so glad you liked that. Indeed, OC ended up getting her happy ending. Maybe not the fairytale ending she had initially hoped for, but the one she ended up wanting more.

And honestly, I LOVE writing from the villain. I think Tears of A Villain proved that. I feel like there’s so much more to villains than the regular protagonist. Actually, A Kiss of Poison was inspired by my two favourite villains of all time.

The Witch from Into the Woods and Erik (the phantom) from Phantom of the Opera.

I feel like most times, villains in stories are either very shallow or they got a sob story which sort of explains how they ended up like that. Like there’s a small flashback which shows their mistreatment or the villain is like “my mother abandoned meeeee!!!!” and I’m like....”well alright then”. But with The Witch and Erik, their sadness and grievances are more so embedded into their actions. The things they do, the things they say, you can see the sadness and devastation in their lives.

A Kiss of Poison was directly inspired from these two characters, so if you have some time, you should listen to these:

This was actually the height of the movie for me. It’s so fucking emotional. From the witch’s anger to her desperate plea. I feel like what makes her different from Mother Gothel from Tangled is that Mother Gothel has something to gain from Rapunzel - her magical hair that makes her younger. She actively lies to Rapunzel to keep her around, but the witch from Into The Woods really has nothing to gain from Rapunzel staying. She begs her to stay because she genuinely cares for her, and the witch fails to realize her love is suffocating.

I think the most powerful line is: “Who out there could love you more than I?”

She’s kind of screaming it in pain, sadness, anger. It’s just so powerful.

The second is:

I love Phantom of the Opera oml. Phantom does some fucked up shit, let’s be honest here. But he just desperately wants to be loved by Christine and in his circumstances, you wonder if you’d also be crazy enough to do the things he’d do.

I just love the final song in Phantom of The Opera cause it goes from anger to this chaos to this pity and then beauty and my god, I just love all musicals because there’s so much emotion in the music and lyrics and it legit tells a story.

I think the most powerful lines are: “This face, which earned a mother's fear and loathing.” // “The world showed no compassion to me!” // “Pitiful creature of darkness. What kind of life have you known?”

[laceyeb]

DWTS Athletes Finale Recap

This is sooooo long. Sorry about that.

OMG YOU GUYS I’M STRESSED.

This is going to be my recap tonight which will just be like a horrifying mess of my thought process throughout the hour. Hopefully I don’t accidentally send this to my mother because I might use a lot of bad words…

It’s currently 5:27 PM out here in California and I am STRESSED.

I’m keeping up with the scores and I’m ready to do the live voting when it’s time, but then I’m out. I’ll head to the gym and somehow try to distract myself there. It’s not going to work, but we’ll see.

My feelings regarding the as of now unknown final results (I’m going into this, hopefully not too naively, assuming that Tonya’s third.):

Look. I understand where people are coming from when they say that it’s not just about the pro. It’s supposed to actually be more about the star, and also about their partnership and journey and skills and blah blah blah. I understand that. I 100% do. I promise. However, that does not mean I won’t be a hypocrite (without any hesitation whatsoever) and say I JUST WANT SHARNA TO WIN THE FUCKING TROPHY!!! (Also, is that super ugly trophy we saw like actually it??? How come the mirrorball on top looks like a miniature mirrorball?! I get that it’s a mini season, but spring for the real mirrorball you cheapskates.) If Jenna and Adam win (and I’m just trying to go into it assuming they are so I’m not as disappointed), I will be thrilled for them. They absolutely deserve it and I don’t think I could possibly argue that they don’t, though that might not stop me from trying. I love them both. I’ve always loved Jenna and I have so much love for Adam it’s not even funny. BUT if they win I’m going to be simultaneously thrilled for them and really really really sad for Josh and Sharna. (EDIT: I’m not that sad actually!) By the way, I love Josh, too! I’m not just in this partnership for Sharna! He’s been great this season and he has shown that he can both dance technically and perform (and we didn’t have to expect him to be as good as he is, whereas obviously Adam was going to be good). But again, I’m a hypocrite. I’m in it more for Sharna than I am Josh, but not only for Sharna. You feel me?!

So… Long story short: I WANT JOSH AND SHARNA TO WIN

And also like I’m gonna get over it if Josh and Sharna don’t win. I’ll be okay, just in case you’re concerned about my well-being. (I’m kidding. Mostly.) Like I survived James and Sharna not winning, so I’ll survive this. The sun will still come out tomorrow (maybe not for me though because I live in the Pacific Northwest) and life will go on. I get that. Don’t worry.

Ok. It’s 5:43 now and I feel like I’m gonna puke. I’m not gonna make it all the way to 9. I just won’t.

Random: I’m gonna be a little teeny tiny bit salty that Adam and Jenna have freestyle AND jazz. Just a little salty. Like the super fine salt I put on my popcorn. Just a little because I know that it doesn’t really make a difference. Not really. And as much as I do love Adam and Jenna, I’m about to contradict that when I tell you how loud I screamed when I saw they got 9,9,10 for their freestyle. I think I scared my neighbors cat who’s outside eating dinner right now. I didn’t stick around long enough to see anyone’s reactions to their freestyle (on tumblr, I mean) because I was too busy voting and then I had to get the hell out of there before I saw any results. So I’m curious where those 9s came from?!?!?!

The message I just sent to my mom: “The problem is that I know Adam and Jenna deserve it. But I want Josh and Sharna to win!!!” She says: “Yup”

Ok. It’s 6:00 so a whole bunch of you are currently partying like it’s 1999 and I’m off to distract myself at the gym…

It’s really stressing me out knowing that it’s already happened and I don’t know! Even though I avoid spoilers all the time. Then again, I looked at the results ahead of time for the last two seasons so maybe that’s it. Also why I didn’t watch the last two finales.

Ok. It’s 6:12 and NOW I’m leaving for the gym. If I leave the gym at 7:20, that’ll get me home 7:30 (probably 7:25, but I like a little cushion), in and out of the shower by 7:45, and sitting on my couch with popcorn and hot chocolate by 7:55. Let’s go!

I managed 50 minutes on the treadmill and I was sufficiently distracted by this really good book I’m reading. (Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley) Now it’s 7:41 and I’m showered and ready to make my popcorn at 7:50… Are you bored of my recap yet?! We’re getting to the good stuff soon!!!

HERE WE GO!!!

I saw Tom on someone’s instagram today (maybe Keo’s) and he was like, “Finale?! That can’t be possible! It’s only week 4!” Same… That’s another thing I keep reminding myself about Josh and Sharna. He’s very very good and it’s only week 4. Imagine what they could have done together in 10 weeks!

I understand we’ve only got an hour, but couldn’t they introduce the finalists with a little more enthusiasm…?

I want to just ignore Tonya and Sasha, but I’ll watch since at least I won’t have to do it again. I wonder if Sasha really believes everything he has been saying this season? Obviously he’s not going to say anything bad about her, but I wonder how much he really believes it, you know? I mean, she seems to be a perfectly pleasant person on the show if I didn’t know any better. She’s definitely a good dancer and I could really appreciate that if she was, you know, not her. If I didn’t have to spend every week hearing how I am falling in love with her and giving her a second chance. I liked the dance just fine. It was pretty enough. Still choosing to assume she’s third?! Actually, my mom looked at the results ahead (she always does unless I’m watching with her and make her wait with me!) and said they don’t announce second and third, but just first?

Bruno saying we got robbed of a Josh and Sharna Argentine tango YESSSS. COULD YOU IMAGINE?! It’s the finale and his first time doing ballroom?! Stupid. Idiotic four week season. I thought the dance was perfectly beautiful. He looked just a little like heavy on his feet? I don’t know. I’m no expert. But I also don’t really care at this point. It’s all over anyways. We got so deprived not having him on a 10 week season. He could have kept getting better and better every single week and him and Sharna clearly have a great relationship and partnership we have not had a chance to enjoy! (I got all hot and bothered at the start of their dance thinking about the way James and Sharna started their fusion dance holding hands. Sigh.) I spy Chris behind Erin! Hi Chris. I’ve missed your beautiful face since last week. Why is Sharna flipping the fuck out like their 9s are 12s?!

Adam and Jenna genuinely have one of the best (and one of my favorite!) partnerships I’ve ever seen on this show in 26 long seasons. I’m truly obsessed with how much they love each other. (I see Anna Trebunskaya behind the judges! Long time no see!) That dance was so fantastically creative of course. It was fantastic and fun and technically beautiful and all that good stuff. I personally thought the lip syncing was irritating, but I know that was part of it so I’ll let it slide. I would have liked some time to know exactly how these dances represented their journeys on the show. Particularly this one. Well shit. They love each other soooo much. Now I want them to win, too! If they do win, the strength and just pure beauty of their bond will make it worth it for me.

I thought I would like a short finale since there’s usually so much nonsense in those 2 hour finales, but this is TOO DAMN FAST! We’re halfway done already!

I cringe everytime Sasha and Tonya say that America has got them to where they are. Because is that really even true?! Obviously she’s been getting some votes since she’s here. I don’t pay that close attention to comments online, but even I know there’s 47 negative comments for every one positive one. Ok. So I’m a little like disoriented because honestly…? I think I kind of liked that?!?!?! I’m pretty sure there was a little section where she went out of sync near the end with her hands. (Carrie Ann! Go put your ass back in your chair!) I figured they would have gone for something dramatic and emotional and I appreciate they didn’t. Honestly, it really worked for her! It was a celebration of her (not that she deserves to be celebrated), which is what the freestyle is supposed to be… I definitely don’t like her (or Sasha) anymore than I did 32 minutes ago. But I didn’t hate that dance.

Um…. Hi Sharna?! Which one of them am I supposed to look at dressed like that in this dance?! Him throwing her over his shoulder and running out of the studio in their package was epic. I have so much to say and not enough time to say it! That was sooooo perfect for them!!! Sharna is absolutely brilliant. And you know what? Sharna comes out looking like that, but I NEVER took my eyes off Josh. (YES CARRIE ANN PRAISING SHARNA! GET YOUR ASS OUT OF YOUR CHAIR AND HUG SHARNA IF YOU LOVE HER SO MUCH!) (Wait why is Artem coming?! Now I know! OMG!) Ok. Back to the dance. Spectacularly creative and brilliant and so powerfully executed. Highlighted and represented Josh soooo well and the all the troupe and others added to the dance and didn’t pull away the attention from Josh. And as emotionally attached to James and Sharna and some of the dances they did together (like their fusion I’ve now mentioned twice tonight, but I’ve moved on…), I think I agree with Carrie Ann! That might be the most incredible and creative choreography we’ve seen from Sharna to date! That was just everything I wanted and more. It wasn’t emotional and heart-wrenching like James’ freestyle. It was strong and powerful and impactful like Josh. Just perfect for him. Sharna did him justice for sure. (My mom on this dance: “Wow!! But she needs to stay out of my closet!) OOH! I knew there was something else! When he lifted her above his head and then threw her higher and DROPPED HIS ARMS before reaching up to catch her?!?!?! That almost killed me. She has so much trust in him. I’m in love.

Briefly on Adam and Jenna’s freestyle because it’s 8:52 and my fingers are shaking as I try to type: 1) The fuck did I just watch?! 2) There wasn’t like… dancing? I mean, it’s a freestyle they can do whatever they want. But I didn’t see dancing? 3) I think this freestyle is a little ahead of its time. Like when Erin and Maks did the very first contemporary freestyle way back in season 10 and the judges didn’t really know what to do with it. That’s how I kind of feel about this. Like I don’t really know what to do with this. 4) I appreciate that he wanted something he felt was meaningful and represented him and obviously I’m not him so I don’t know… But like if you had given me a million guesses on what their freestyle would be like knowing that it represented him, I never would have got to this. It was a let down for me.

I had to go to the bathroom during the commercial so I didn’t wet myself waiting the last six minutes…

I DON’T WANT TO SEE A LAST DANCE FROM ALL OUR COUPLES!!! I NEED TO KNOW WHO WINS!!!

Oh dear. I think I’ve stopped breathing. Here we go. If they really are just announcing 1st and don’t announce 3rd, I might pass out.

Here it comes. It’s happening…

Well…. I knew that was coming. It’s a good thing I was such a big fan of them. Honestly, I’m not even that disappointed for Josh and Sharna. I thought I would be, but I’m really not. I mean, yes… Here’s yet another season of Sharna getting second place. But as a couple/partnership/duo/whatever, I did like Adam and Jenna more than Josh and Sharna. I really felt Adam and Jenna’s relationship tonight (and every night obviously) especially in their first dance and after it. And Jenna absolutely lost her shit. I’m so so so happy for her. And Adam. And her and Adam together. And only a little sad for Sharna. Not nearly as sad as I thought I would be. Maybe I’m growing…?!

It’s now 9:28 and I’m just sitting here on my couch and I keep smiling and saying, “Oh, I’m just really happy for them!”

I think I would have been considerably more inconsolable if Josh and Sharna had actually won. 

[wanna-17]

lee daehwi first meeting! AU

summary: in which you are somi’s best friend and you find out that she has a hidden twin brother who you are a fan of 

length: 1.3k

a/n: HIHI so i decided to start a new series which is gonna be a sweet and short one called first meeting! AU with the wanna one members. since it’s really only going to cover your first meeting with the particular member, it’s up to you whether you want to interpret it as romantically or platonic friendship, maybe if the context suits and i get enough requests i could do a part 2 for some in the future? we’ll see but i will be prioritising getting each member done first. but anyways i hope you guys enjoy this first one of my precious baby lee daehwi and look forward to the rest of the members :) 

so you’re in high school 

and ever since high school started you became best friends with a girl called somi 

you guys had different personalities, you were more on the shy side and she was more outgoing 

but somehow you guys clicked and found that you guys had a lot of things to talk about and common interests 

also during this time produce 101 is airing and you’re absolutely addicted to the show 

and lee daehwi, the first centre literally swooped you off your feet 

he was no doubt your bias and you’d been voting for him like crazy everyday 

and ofc since somi was your best friend you’d always rant about how cute and talented lee daehwi was and somi would just sigh and roll her eyes sometimes 

well one day at school your class is given a project to be completed in pairs and obviously you and somi are a pair 

usually you two would complete your work at the library but since the weather was really horrible 

you guys decided to head to your place over the weekend 

and you guys do that except you dont get the work done 

so you guys decide to go to somi’s place sometime after school next week to finish it 

and tbh you’ve been very curious about where somi lives

even though you guys are best friends you guys always met either in public or at your place

you were just super curious as to what her house was like and why she was lowkey secretive about where she lived

hMMMMMM

so the day before going to somi’s place

you guys are having lunch at school and somi is suddenly like: “oh y/n when you come tomorrow, my twin brother will most likely be home visiting” 

and u r like

“WAIT HANG ON A SECNOD U HAVE A TWIN BROTHER?? SINCE WHEN???” you semi yell when you stand up from your seat 

you are surprised and shocked bc ur friend has a twin brother and she never told you 

“ssHHHHH be quiet” says somi gesturing you to sit back down 

and so you do and say

“how come you didnt tell me somi?” while pouting 

“well…i guess you never asked whether i had siblings or not” replies somi nervously 

“hmm yeah fair enough, well what its like having a twin brother? what’s he like” you ask excitedly

you’d  never met anyone that had a twin before and u suddenly find out that your best friend in fact has a twin brother which makes you feel kinda weird and excited 

“it’s alright, we’re just like any other sibling pair, he can be slightly annoying sometimes but he’s a good brother overall. i miss him” replies somi looking down 

“ohhhhh where is he? does he go to high school here?” you asked wondering if somi’s twin was actually at your school and completely hidden from u 

“no he doesn’t”

“where does he go then? and what’s his name? what does he look like?” you asked bombarding somi with questions as you were super curious now

since somi was one of the prettiest girls in the school you were lowkey thinking maybe somi’s twin is really hot HAHA

“i actually can’t say his name but he’s really ugly” says somi laughing

“why not????” you ask somi, “is he a spy or something?? with a hidden identity???” 

somi shook her head laughing at you as you continued to pester her about her twin 

“you’ll see tomorrow when you come over” says somi “i think things might change when you see who it is” as she sighs

now you were C U R I O U S as to why somi kept it so secret 

and for some odd reason, who somi’s twin brother was was all you thought about for the rest of the day 

your thoughts went wild as you thought, what if he’s actually a spy? or illegal? a criminal? someone dangerous? what if he’s the youngest ceo in our country?

and for some seriously odd reason you were excited to meet somi’s twin brother 

the next day you head to somi’s house with the address typed in google maps 

you rang the doorbell and somi opened the door

as you stepped in you saw how the house wasn’t too big nor was it too small it was quite spacious and clean and very cozy 

you saw some baby pictures placed up on a shelf of somi and her twin; you recognised somi easily and the twin brother was really cute too 

you guys take a seat on the big couch and start working on the project when suddenly you hear footsteps come down the stairs 

you were super focused on your work tbh so you didn’t look up 

until a voice says 

“hey sis is this your friend that always talks about me?” 

and the voice is SO FAMILIAR 

and you’re suddenly afraid to look up 

you do recognise that voice but no way it just couldn’t be 

silence 

“yep it is” says somi, “look at the state she is in now” 

your entire body was frozen and wouldn’t react and you were looking at the ground

“she’s so cute like that” says the voice

you feel your cheeks go bright red and your heart suddenly beating extraordinarily fast 

you close your eyes and tell yourself you are dreaming 

you take a deep breath and look up 

and you are met with a pair of the most gorgeous eyes you have ever seen; one eye was monolid and the other was double lidded but honestly that was what was attractive about him 

it was truly lee daehwi lmao sorry i made it so so dramatic haha

he was smiling down at your with the sweetest and cutest smile 

“hello y/n! it’s nice to finally meet you!” says daehwi cheerfully 

“u-h-h hello– daehwi-ssi” you stutter nervously as you die internally 

daehwi laughed and his laughter was like a beautiful melody

“no need to be formal y/n, we’re the same age! you don’t look great right now, i’ll grab a glass of water for you” says daehwi as he heads to the kitchen 

when he’s gone you turn to somi straight away 

“DUDE WHY DIDNT U TELL ME DAEHWI WAS UR BROTHER?? i wouldn’t have fangirled over him to you and its sooooo embarrassing” 

“chill y/n it was actually pretty funny, you totally have a crush on my twin, look at ur face” says somi laughing 

“sTOP omg this is all ur fault im so embarrassed, i embarrassed myself in front of my bias” you say as your bury your face in your hands

“seriously y/n this is your chance to talk to him and i don’t usually say this about that idiot but he’s actually a very nice guy, so don’t be nervous anymore” 

you take deep breaths and try to collect yourself before daehwi comes back 

when he does you’re much calmer even though you still feel like you are living in a dream 

“here’s your water” says daehwi as he hands over the glass of water

both your finger trips lightly made contact and you felt your heart racing again 

“thanks daehwi” you say giving him a shy smile 

he asks what the project is about and starts helping you guys and in no time you guys are done 

and daehwi is super friendly and outgoing so in no time you get really comfortable around him

and realise that HES JUST A REALLY NICE AND KIND HUMAN like any human and not some “far unreachable star that’s like a god” 

you find out he has cute habits and loves cleaning and fashion and wants to make people happier through his music

you guys talk for the next two hours getting to know each other and you tell him that you’ll continue to support him on produce 101 and he’s super thankful 

at this rate somi had literally fallen asleep and is taking a nap on the sofa 

he opens up about how it’s hard to meet people’s expectations and that he doesn’t want to disappoint others and you guys have really deep conversations 

and in no time it’s already dark outside 

and daehwi even offers to walk you to the bus stop 

and he puts on a black hoodie with the hood up just in case ppl recognise him anyone watching school 2017 bc i love x’s outfit hehe

you guys reach the bus stop

“y/n it was nice meeting you and i was able to get my mind off things thanks to you” 

“no worries daehwi, i’m so glad to have met you and you’re just as wonderful and kind as i’d imagined you to be” you reply cringing at your own cheesiness

daehwi laughs again as he ruffles your hair “you’re so kind too” 

“anyways y/n will you do me a favour and not tell anyone that i am somi’s twin? i dont want things to get hard for her if people know about our sibling relationship” 

you swoon, he was even so nice to his sister 

you nod “of course”

the bus comes and you guys wave goodbye 

you couldn’t believe that you met daehwi and got so close to him 

he was so nice and down to earth 

you lowkey wondered if you’d ever be able to see him again since he was already famous and busy with filming 

you convinced yourself that he was probably this nice to everyone and you were really lucky because you were his sister’s best friend 

suddenly your phone buzzed and you received a message from an unknown number 

“hello y/n, it’s daehwi - i got your number from somi. that’s okay right? next week i’ll be back in town again, so do you wanna hang out? just the two of us this time ;)”

efgqkejfhfjhjf i hope you guys liked this?? i have no idea what the response is gonna be like and lmao i made somi and daehwi twins bc they could totally be siblings :) i realised i probably rant too much lmaooo so let me know what you guys think as i’m always open to feedback and thoughts about my work :) please also look forward to my next one in this series! 

[briteboy]

stealing @bratsims format because i need a less ugly way to mass answer your messages which will hopefully motivate me to stay on top of this! at least i can say i tried

so if you sent me an anon message in the past...idk MONTH (i’m bad i know) it might be here. (older ones are near the bottom) if not, check my faq because it’s probably answered there. (and if you’re the person/people who sent the twin flame & 7th house asks, i plan to answer those separately because i have a LOT to say. get ready)

game of thrones, nuclear war, real life santis, lou theories, i’m evil, HERE WE GO!! i literally had to cut it off at the last one because it was just too much for now. i’ll try to answer some more later ok

we’re starting off on a great note

Anonymous said: gaddamn rooney's tiddies lookin' hella ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

STOP!!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S MY CHILD soaidfnjds she’s supposed to have like b/c cups (goals for me tbh, the big boob life is not fun) and sims 4 pregnancies just fuckin make them...NYOOM i’m mad you can’t edit sims’ bodies during pregnancy even with cas.fulleditmode on -___- so i let her live with her giant preggo tiddies for now

Ngl I want a kiss between Santi and Gianni (I'm sorry I'm literally trash)

then i’m here to satisfy your desires: they do kiss periodically because gianni is one of those people who’s like “why shouldn’t you kiss your friends?” free love 4 everyone

IM SCREAING AT UR YOUTUBE CHANNEL OK!!!! I LOVEEE IT, WOW

DON’T IT’S UGLY EXCEPT FOR LIKE TWO VIDEOS

hey this is kinda random but i thought joe seaward from glass animals looked kinda like santi? he has quite a weird face too lmao

oMG i actually love that, i know what you mean. that dude reminds me of a bull terrier lmao i actually saw glass animals like two weeks ago!! i didn’t really get a good look at the drummer but now i wish i did. missed connection

i just finished reading santi's story and ugh it almost had me in tears! beautiful, your story telling skills and editing skills are perfection!

ahhhhsdkgkds thank you so much ;____; that means the world to me <333

Unpopular opinion: im so done with game of thrones tbh. It's not even good anymore :/ I liked the first season but since then i've skipped through episodes because they are just sooo fucking boring and dragged out!

see like the first three seasons were pretty good because they stayed true to the books. (actually that’s a lie, littlefinger’s chaos speech in the s3 finale was real fuckin bad because guess what: it was original material LMAO) the fourth season was where it started to get messy and then the fifth season was a fucking shitshow because they completely IGNORED the fourth book and cherrypicked all the “good” parts out of it (read: the most action-y parts, while ignoring all the most important pieces of character development) and they botched the dorne storyline, oh and who could forget the iconic moment of throwing in a rape (THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN IN THE BOOKS) just for fun :) love it! but anyway if you think the show is boring i probably wouldn’t recommend the books, they’re even slower getting through them lmao. but it’s worth it in my opinion. there’s so much they don’t include in the show and it makes me Angery

Okay, game of thrones fan here, I haven't read the books (yet at least, I bought book 1) but I feel like dany is going to practically turn into her father, this season she is already showing traits like his.......

OH YEAH i definitely feel like they’re moving in that direction in the process of revealing jon as the “true” king of westeros and it’s so bad lmfao. the thing is, like...cersei is already mad king 2.0? why do we need another one?????? the entire point of dany’s arc is that she’s constantly trying to deviate AWAY from the way her father ruled, demonstrated by the fact that she freed the slaves (whereas all the targaryens before were slave owners), the fact that she’s not perpetuating the whole incest thing (LMAO GUESS AGAIN BECAUSE JONERYS HAS TO HAPPEN FOR SOME FCKING REASON), the fact that she has dragons which haven’t existed in how many years...like, if she ever ends up being like her father in the books, it’s NOT gonna fucking happen like this. but i don’t think she will anyway, george rr martin has been pretty clear about her trajectory thus far. anyway this show is so ugly, next question

rooney's eye are so BIG

just like her tiddies lmao i kno sometimes i forget how big they are and then she does one of those silly endearing animations and i’m like o ;-; hello big dumb baby cow eyes

Cows? Are you secretly Matthew Daddario?

WHO i had to google him lmao i was about to say “oh the teen wolf guy” but jk @ myself u idiot it’s shadowhunters damn i literally googled “matthew daddario cows” and

tru

I love how fragile Lou looks like but the truth is that she is strong af and you can't play with her bruh

SHE IS ;-; and that’s a huge theme in her story, i’m excited <3

ima leave ur blog and come bk and spam you so you will finally notice me

im part of this online forum of girls that talks about our period and weather or not one of us might be pregnant and once this girl posted saying that her husband invited his mom without telling her to thier honeymoon and she didnt find out until they arrived at the hotel and she was already there. the most recent part reminded me of it. but long story short, her dad moved all her stuff out of his house and her friend came to pick her up and they got a divorce.

OISOJDFAKNLJSD WHAT!!! i’m guessing you sent this because of that thing i said about the reddit post lmfaooo imagine your mom on your honeymoon. why. that’s soooooooooo good 4 her u know. u don’t need to be married to his mom as well

thanks 4 trusting my love santi. he's beautiful

thank u he thinks ur beautiful too 💘

do you have any tips for runing game in good quality and fast?

euhhhhh the only tips i have for you are to merge your cc, close all other programs while you play your game, maybe invest in a cooling pad uhhhhhh yeah idk any other tips you can probably find on google

You told that thing about unfollowing people and I thought you unfollowed me, but then I checked and you didn't and I'm crying omg

lmao omg ;-; i literally cut my following list in half, it was so chaotic and it was making me anxious. so if ever unfollow any of you please don’t take it personally (i know it’s a stupid thing to say, and it’s a lot easier said than done) it’s just my brain explodes when there’s too much going on at once and some content blends into others, i’m trying to only follow people who i’m genuinely interested in enough to keep up with their posts from now on

I haven't been able to sleep in over 72 hours thanks to the constant fear over the looming world war. I'm fine. Completely fine

Oh shit, have you noticed that the media has been putting out more 'what to do during a nuclear attack' kinda articles? This world is slowly going to shit, for real. I'm not even near any of the danger really, but it still absolutely terrifies me to see all of that bc it could very well go wrong and hit my place as well yknow? I have no idea why i send this to you but you seem chill and calm so thanks for reading my freakout askfjsls

YEP it’s pretty terrifying. but at the same time don’t let fear overwhelm you, fearmongering is an ugly, ugly thing and you don’t want to live your life constantly worrying. so just prepare yourself for what might come, but at the same time, just spend as much time with your loved ones as you can, do all the things you’ve ever wanted to do, and then if it doesn’t turn out as bad as we thought it would, you *tim mcgraw voice* lived like u were dyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyin’

@ Jesus anon: I really don't think it's the right time to complain about "using the lord name in vain" when there are people terrified of leaving their homes bc they are afraid to get killed (aka that poor, poor Jewish anon in charlottesville)

yeah idk like i want to respect everyone but it seemed to be in poor taste to bring that up at a time like that lmao. and also i’ve literally never in my entire life met someone who actually takes “don’t say the lord’s name in vain” seriously. 

I asked about the poses and HOLY CRAP THANK YOU SO MUCH! I finally have good poses to use for story telling. Thank you soo so so so sooooo much!

YAY i’m glad you found some good stuff <3 and honestly just going through lana’s blog you’ll find a ton of good poses, it’s a gold mine

Idk how much tv you watch, but have you've ever come across a tv show that used music from The Sim? Because once in a while I'll hear Sims 3 build/buy music on some random show and I'll get a lil shook because I find it so weird that the generic music they're using comes from a major game title.

OMG LMAO NO what i wish i’d come across that tho. one time i used sims 1 music in a video i made for school and someone recognized it

I love your stories gosh I check your page "it's everyday bro with femmesim flow" Lol sorry for that awkward Jake Paul "poop" ❤️

lmao thank u i had no idea who jake paul was until my friends started talking about him

yo, I also remember once in french class real life santi asked me what videos games I like to play. When I told him the sims, he looked at me for a while and shaked his head. He was like, "why do you want to watch your sims use the toilet?"

WHY DO YOU WANT TO WATCH YOUR SIMS USE THE TOILET SAME that’s all i care about when i play

that rooney face in the 5 facts is so iconic, its my fave picture of her. You should blow it up and frame it

i should tbh. i should print it out and put it in my wallet to show everyone because she is my child

sorry the bother you, merging cc makes your game smoother? can you explain to me please?

boop

hi i love you ♡ pass it on

I LOVE U

Can I say that hearing a MacBooks fans screaming for dear life as they try to cool down when playing the sims has actually started to haunt my nightmares

SAME my macbook is actually doing it right now for no reason. thanks laptop

Maybe Santi should go to therapy to talk out his issues.

maybe he should 🤔  but tbh he’s already talked out everything, there’s nothing really more to talk out. he just has to cope with it. he’s treated lou like his therapist thus far and that’s not okay

i love ur story and omg i totally get where lou is coming from with being tired of being compared to molly by santi, thatd hurt so much esp with how much she cares about him

thank youuu ;-; i’m glad you understand, this was a part i’d wanted to get out for a loooong time now, and i know you guys were always like “um why does she put up with this” lmao. she just loves him, that’s why. but you’re right, it does hurt.

My theory is very similar to the other anons in that Fiona's dad/Lou's ex had a mental illness (schizophrenia, depression, what have you) but he actually did kill himself and that's why she's not completely losing it on Santi because I feel like most people in that situation would have not handled it as well as Lou did

🤔 you’re right about the last part, and there’s a reason she has so much patience, das all i’m sayin

i started your story from the beginning last night and i am in awe. Its amazing. It inspired me to put a little more effort in learning to edit and write. It was like reading screen caps from a movie! I didn't want to stop reading. Anyway thing was a super sappy ask, but i appreciate your stuff. And i'm bad at putting my thoughts into words.

omg ;__________; when people tell me i inspired them it means the most to me, my brain just can’t process it lmao. so thank you so so much ;-; <333 THE MOVIE THING ESPECIALLY GOT ME IN THE HEART because i feel like that’s my aesthetic with most things i create because i’m such a film person lol. don’t worry i love super sappy, and you did a good job of wording everything because it got me right in the feels <33

Okay I've been snickering for about 43 minutes bc SANTI GOT THAT GRU CHINNN

WOT is that i googled it and the only thing that came up was the dad from despicable me lmfaosdkjfs but ok

Please, please do punk edits of your some of your characters! I'd die.

WHAT DOES THIS MEANNN do you mean like. those 2010 tumblr edits of punk disney characters and then the joker from suicide squad looked like one of them. do u want santi to be the joker. because my boyfriend already relates him to suicide squad joker because of his face tatt lmao

You love to make me cry

i do i’m sorry. if it makes you feel any better i love to make myself cry too. but my biceps grow stronger with every tear

I reeeally dont think those chancla comments were offensive??? Why would they be?? I'm hispanic (born and raised in the sunny Dominican Republic, received a fair amount of chancletazos myself) and I laughed out loud when i read them 😂😂

I JUST WANT U TO KNOW I SHOWED @ichosim THIS MESSAGE AND SHE LAUGHED FOR 12 HOURS AT “CHANCLETAZOS”

whATT my little brothers name is santiago n we call him santi for short!! guess it's not rly that uncommon but we live in a small country and he's also 4 so like,, no other santiagos!! idk why im saying this its completely irrelevant just kinda surprised me :'))

OMG wow hell yeah another real life santi...santi acts like a 4 yr old so he might as well be your brother

Just curious.. Do you play sims or just use it for storytelling? Sorry if thats weird haha

well my recent gameplay pics should answer your question lmao. i do like to play but i don’t have enough time to both play and pose scenes so i mostly just pose scenes for now. :[ i am gonna be off work for like two weeks tho so hell yeah gameplay here i come!!

I'm starting a Fiona appreciation movement because she is the real star of santis story RT and i love her and she is way underappreciated and I love her KThxBi

SHE IS THE REAL STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’ve said this before but santi’s relationship with her is the most important to me, out of every relationship he has in this story. i’m so glad you love her so much, sorry about what’s about to come in the next few scenes tho

Oh my heart, Santi is alive, god exist

I have a pretty hard time understanding Santi's story mostly because I'm not English but I'm sure I'll figure it out:)

ahh oh no D: i’m sorry i wish i spoke every language in the world lmao. if you want, you can message me off anon and i’ll help you understand it!!

Lou is an angel honestly

“there are worse things than seeing an angel before you die”

what tablet do you use? or how do you draw hair? it looks so pretty.

omg haha i don’t have one! i wish i did tho. all of the brushes i got from deviantart, i’m trying to find the specific ones but they’re all elusive wtf. i’ll post them when i find them! for now, here’s a good guide to drawing hair, by airi <3

Nah nah I always knew you'd save him.....eheheeh.....THANK YOU FOR NOT KILLING BABBY SANTEEEEEEEEE DNDDNSKANW YOU WOULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH BLOOD ON UR HANDS AS ALL UR FOLLOWERS COLLECTIVELY DIE FROM A BROKEN HEART BUT DW WE DIDNT BECAUSE UR QN ANGEL....but I toooootally knew you'd save him... /sweats/

I’M GLAD U HAD FAITH <3 i know omfg i would’ve expected a mob at my house if i’d actually killed him. if i ever killed him i would just lay down somewhere and die. that’s it for me

Lou & molly almost always have teeth showing, do you draw them on each pic?x

no, only sometimes i’ve drawn them when i felt like their mouths weren’t matching the expression i wanted. but most of the time it’s just the pose.

is it too late to send 16k dollars to guarantee santi's inclusion in a loving home with loving friends

it is absolutely never too late to send me 16k i promise you that

I just bought school books for $550 who knew studying marine biology could be so fuckING EXPENSIVE

EWW WTF...i’ve been lucky and haven’t had to spend a ton on books in my college career (one time i even went to such lengths that i got access to free trial version of one of my school books in a pdf, screencapped EVERY SINGLE PAGE, which was more than 400 pages, just so i wouldn’t have to spend $70 on it. i love cheating the system)

waIT i never saw ur selfie where is it, must see

u could probably just search “selfie” on my blog and find it, or enjoy the ugly closeup drunk snap i posted last night

Hey guys I'm a happy trans man that has no mental illnesses. I'm fucking pissed about Trump's ban. And to any one that says it's logical FUCK YOU! I'm having flashbacks to don't ask, don't tell because this is the same fucking wacked up logic. I'm so angry, like I'm a human, yes I may require testosterone shots once a month but that's it, I even administer them to myself. I pay for them with my own god damn money so fuck you transphobic bigots who say this law is fair. It's not. WE ARE HUMAN TOO Also same anon that ranted. Sorry about that I'm just really pissed and I love and thank you for sticking up for the community. We love you and I love you. And you're right not all trans people transition. We all do what we want to. Some start on T or E and have the full surgery. Some just have top surgery. Some just do testosterone or estrogen. Some never do anything. We're all still trans and we're all valid.

YES ALL OF THIS, sorry i didn’t answer this when it was all happening. but askdkjfas thank you for this message, I LOVE YOU TOO, SO MUCH <333 and i’m glad you feel comfortable enough to voice this in my inbox. yes every trans person is valid no matter what they decide to do with their bodies <3

One of those old hot topic shirts that said " if Darryl dies we riot " but with santi instead of Darryl.

OMG LMAOOOOO NOW THAT’S A CONCEPT who’s making these i want one

your use of references and reaction pics and gifs fucken KILLS ME

Crystal anon here. I googled around my area to find there are none of those y'know, crystal, candle, incense, magic type shops. I have panic attacks when I go outside and I wanted to look into alternative stuff since I'm on meds and w/e. I wanted to know if you or friends had any experience or recommendations for buying crystals online like on etsy or amazon. How can you tell if they're real?x

ooooh ok. usually there are shops like those in cities or even in towns with like kitschy little promenades with independent shops. (i know there’s one around the town over from mine, which is so random lmao) i do have friends that have crystals but i think they mostly just collect them for the ~good vibez~ and don’t really look too far into the healing aspects of them. i would say first go with the one that coincides with your birth because those are the ones that are like specifically catered to you and strengthen your being. as for buying online, hmmmmm i mean i don’t really know any specific trustworthy sellers because i don’t have much experience with this, but definitely read the reviews! those will help you a lot <3

Hello could you please tell us how you edited the pic of rooney in that one post that the anon asked for the unedited version?

i honestly didn’t do much of anything that differs from my usual editing process! i made her eyes a bit bigger by using the clone tool, cloning the top of her eye and applying it a little bit farther up...if that makes sense. it’s hard to explain how to use that tool lmao. and i think i used the liquify tool to bring part of her eyebrow down to look more worried.

there's still a part of me that says she ain't dead and molly is just in a coma lmao end mE

OMFLDKGKJS yeah she’s not dead surprise. i WILL say there is still flashback stuff that will be revealed. well not “revealed” like molly’s death was revealed, like i just still have to showcase some things that happened afterward. because it doesn’t just end with molly’s death, there’s stuff after that as well :~}

I'm Mexican, have lived around Mexicans, have been to Mexico multiple times growing up, just came back from a family trip at practically the border between Mexico and Guatemala and never in my life have I ever heard the word "joder" i had to look it up xD (not hating or anything I just thought I'd mention it cuz I found it funny...lol) k bye...

OK NOT SURE IF the ppl you’ve been around just don’t curse or whatever but...joder is DEFINITELY something i’ve heard mexican people say before lmao

Okay so this is random, but i was telling my sister the name of one your characters in ur story (santi) and she kinda just starts singing his name, and she said "santi high, santi low, santi go." And im just sitting there, like woah.

LMFAO WHATKNJDSKJGD “woah” same

u gonna incorporate fis hat into a really like emotional sad thing in her story huh

oMG i wasn’t planning on it but hmm 🤔

Why no el chingo? NO ME GUSTA (I'm joking btw ily)

LMFAOOOO because i didn’t wanna have to defile my son by downloading the penis mod RIP

let santi grow out dem eyebrows 2kforever

omg he does let them grow out except for the little line he shaved in when he was 14 that never grew back RIP

in ur bio it says "kt" and i know why,, it means killing them as in killing off ur characters slowly i see u gurl

i bet this story was just an excuse for you to see the world burn. well done.

OMG i mean, that was definitely one of the side effects of it all. but really it was just that i NEEDED to get this story out after it had lived in my brain for so long.

ur dead 2 me

I... just.... can't... too much pain Y U DO DIS 2 UZ?!?!!!

[survivor-rebelsvsroyals]

EPISODE 4: PLEASE JUST GIVE US A SWAP-CHLOE

Why am I still here???

me when i read the challenge: omg i love flash games and states and sporcle, this is gonna be a delight!!! me after actually playing the fucking game: https://youtu.be/FveF-we6lcE

*later* 

love hozier so much. he’s the only thing keeping me alive rn. whilst i waste away. HEY AT LEAST I KNOW WHERE ALL THE FUCKIN STATES ARE RIGHT!!!!

Sooooo we finally get flash games. Of course I was asleep when they were being handed out so I ended up with fucking winterbells. Yeehaw I guess time to go let a million bunnies fall to their death.

okurrrrr. Incase we did some kind of swap I talked to Amanda and RTP about like becoming a trio and who they like so I can make sure I like them so we can all work together better in the future. According to both of them we all like the same people? Being Linus and Seamus. RTP suggested being a trio, maybe making a chat, and then also making a chat with the 5 of us in it which Amanda liked too. We'd probably have to wait until actual tribal to put it into motion. Also Dane suggested to wage 3 points on me cause he knows I'm good at flash games and I hate that he knows me cause I would've suggested the same thing If I was awake for that deadline. It's driving me crazy his dumb bitch ass is here cause I keep missing him.

also fuck this flash game i hate trex i don't wanna go to work i hope this score holds up.

I'm done. I literally just want to give up. I'm just sat here crying because it all feels so pointless. We're gonna swap, I'll get swapfucked and then that's that I guess. Won't have proved that I'm not a shit player lolllll guess that's maybe true. I've been doing terrible in challenges. I'm tired. I want to quit. This is all so fucking dumb.

wow i just told dane about how much i hate myself and he told me i was smart and pretty and amazing...i feel loved for the first time in my godforsaken life!!!! i hope he does not betray me bc i love him. hes my new best friend. dane if u r reading this i love u.

Shout out to all the other royals for DRAGGING MY ASS THROUGH THAT CHALLENGE, my score was humiliating compared to Raffy’s... I’m trying not to call attention to it, LOL. That is karma for me acting like him for that video challenge I’m sure 😳 Sorry my confessions are pretty boring these days... nothing new to report.

I cannot believe we lost again. I'm so over being on this tribe at this point. I just want a swap to happen, but that just means I'll be at the bottom with people I don't know. It's such a double-edged sword. At this point, I'll take whatever comes my way as long as I don't go to tribal for the rest of pre-merge. For this tribal, I think that Trace is the vote sadly. I really like him a lot, but he is outside all the alliances that were made. By voting Trace, I don't betray anyone and keep my hands clean with two different 5 person alliances. Also, Trace must feel like an outsider at this point so if there is a swap, would he be willing to vote with Rebels? I'm not too sure. I guess this is just the hand I was dealt, so I have to deal with it.

tribal number 4 ! woo ! love when i’m probably gonna get thrown under the bus for the vote when i had basically no say in my role in the challenge <3 honestly sick as fuck of raffy dictating everything but i’m not petty enough to vote him for it. dan might be but he’s too emotional for his own good i think. raffy is loyal to me. he’ll sink himself by being so loud later. if i swap with him, chances are the numbers won’t be on my side, and he’s someone that would alienate people much faster than i would. i’d be able to flip on raffy no problem. but in the meantime, he stays in my pocket and dan will have to suck it up ig! i’ve already lied to trace, he’s most likely voted against dan, he and i have no loyalty to each other, and he’s more likely to skate by utr in a swap scenario so he needs to go. i’m not worried about an idol play, obviously, but i can see there being something else. an extra vote or a vote steal or smth. i think i have enough of the numbers that it won’t matter but. definitely something to keep in mind.

So like.... a swap HAS to be coming up soon.. The royals won their 4TH immunity in a row and I'm extremely happy because i truly believe that the first time I don't have immunity, I will leave. HOWEVER, now I have very strong arguments if the swap is happening. There is a VERY tight 6 in the rebels tribe which i clocked since the second tribal that consists of Dan, Asya, Raffy, Chloe, Lachlan, and John. They have all consistently left Trace out of votes and they continue to vote as a 6 (even with a large majority as well. They aren't splitting votes and I'm more convinced that one of those 6 have an idol already due to them putting all their votes onto one person). These 6 do NOT plan on splitting up. I think my best chance would convincing the royals to just stick together for a little bit longer, possibly just to split up a couple duos in there. Just based off of the tribal council, Raffy and Chloe seem to be really close. Raffy is that annoying gay and Chloe is that white girl who think gays are an accessory so he's just YAS SLAYING HER LIFE OKUR! The other duo I think is Asya and Dan, those 2 have been known in the BB community to be relatively close so I wouldn't be surprised if they are working together this game. The only issue with splitting up Asya and Dan is that Amanda (a royal) is also friends with those 2 rebels. So my best bet is sadly teaming up with the two Ryans who have a very obvious F2 to get out Dan, and I know Ryan would be more than happy to get out Dan since Ryan M plays these games very personally and like Dan called him fat or whatever. However I told Ryan M to kill himself before so I might be his prime target before Dan.... so who knows !!!

This whole situation sucks. I really don’t want Trace to go home but there is literally nothing I can do about it. I floated Raffy’s name by Asya because I trust her the most and she just wasn’t into it. It would 100% be a crackhead move but I do trust Trace a lot.... and he’s just nice to chat with (and look at). Trace wants to do Chloe and honestly I trust her a lot too so I’m not willing to roll the dice and lose other allies if the Chloe vote doesn’t pan out. What will really shock me is if I’m booted tonight. That would be fucking hilarious. I feel weird in this game because we constantly have to go to tribal and vote someone out. Come swap time, we’re gonna be fucked no matter what. It’s all such a mess haha

Trace throwing my name to people as if they're actually gonna get on board with that. Lol ok sis you do you I guess. He's in my DMs like ooooh no I think I'm going home, but I fully know he's been messaging Raffy, John, Asya and Dan asking them to vote me and he thinks that he has the numbers for it skskks. Idk what the craic is, part of me is saying he's gonna be messy and pull an idol and I'm going to go home tonight even though he will have majority votes against him. Guess I'll be getting 17th all over again, how fun xoxo

*a little bit later*

I am for the life of me BEGGING that we have a swap next. Please please please can we have a swap. PLEASE JUST GIVE US A SWAP. I would like a SHOT at being immune for once.

*Chloe sitting on a rock as the camera man zooms in*

This round has fully caused me so so many emotions. Last night I just had a whole ass breakdown and wanted to quit because I just feel this is entirely pointless and no matter what happens I'm going to get swap fucked and I probably wont make it to merge. I still feel this way I'm not going to lie. I've entirely lost all hope, I could quit but I also feel like that in itself is pointless. I came here to fight and prove that I am in fact not a shit player, so, here's hoping I can manoeuvre my way through this somehow and come out the other end into merge at least, that would be nice. 

[gleek-runner]

Class 1×8 aka Last time I cried that much was with the Death Cure

The episode where we decide whether Ellie gets to live or not.

1)It’s happening and I’m not ready

2)Okay so the “what’s next” showed Ram’s dad and now in “previously” it showed him and Ram hugging and I’m scared

3)HOW?!WTF?!SHE’S PREGNANT?!

4)April is going to sing!!!Yay!!!

5)Okay she’s no Rachel Berry,but oh my God that’s so good

6)It reminds me of the Middle-Age,back in the time of castles and all

7)It has only been 2 minutes and all I’m getting is angst

8)THERE’S A CRACK

9)My favourite babies are hugging!Go Charlie/April bromance!!!!

10)I’m definetly not ready

11)Back again with the red eyes

12)WAIT NO!

13)RAM’S DAD!!!!

14)NOOOOOOOOO

15)ELLIE NO WHY?!

16)I CAN’T

17)RUN RAM RUN

18)Last time I’m listening to the theme song…I’m not crying

But for the sake of it…

WE GO ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON

19)“He’s gone"OKAY I’M CRYING

20)Matteusz,please tell me nothing bad will happen to you

21)Babies in love

22)Ellie might have a chance at living

23)Aw Charlie is so precious,he cares about everyone

24)Black is the colour of my soul

25)RAM :-(

26)Not Marlie too

27)Please ignore statement number 22

28)Yes make that promise

29)Kiss!Kiss!Kiss!

30)DAMN IT QUILL

31)I have no idea what is going on

32)Please explain

33)Please don’t give her a gun

34)Don’t push it pregnant lady!

35)HURT MY KIDS AND IMMA BEGIN A WAR WITH YOU

36)Tanya be kinder to your mother

37)WHAT?!

38)WHAT?!

39)ELLIE I HATE YOU

40)NOOOOO

41)HER MOTHER GOT IMPALED

42)IF ANY OTHER AWESOME PARENTS DIE I WILL FUCKING KILL SOMEONE

43)Ram dear…he’ll find you everywhere

44)They’ve killed about all the people that matter to Ram,I understand why he’s angry

45)What is this show doing to me?I swear I hadn’t had so many feels since The Death Cure

46)NO

47)LET APRIL’S MUM GO YOU SHADOW THINGY

48)Yeah take your unborn children into battle,Quill.What a wonderful idea!

49)Tanya baby!

50)I just learned that April’s mother’s name is Jackie.Why didn’t I notice that earlier?

51)If this episode wasn’t so sad,I would be a slut for Quill as a mother figure

52)Awwwwww

53)Tanya just realised Quill is pregnant

54)Well tough luck Tanya dear, everyone wants to use the cabinet!

55)It’s a class circle

56)Tanya is not thinking straight

57)DON’T YOU DARE

58)Matteusz is worried and so am I

59)CHARLIEEEEEEEEEE NOOOOOOO

60)FUCK NO!MATTEUSZ WILL NOT BE NUMBER 5

61)FUCK

62)THIS WAS WHY ELLIE WAS SO WORRIED

63)But wait he has only killed two…FUCK

64)Okay there’s now a shadow in Charlie’s heart and this can not end well

65)Oh how wonderful!My two faves will probably die!

66)It is pretty hopeless

67)Yes because Ram and April running away will solve everything

68)We’re not even half way there and I’m crying

69)At least the scene with Charlie pointing a gun at Dorothea is funny

70)Yes,she does know a lot of things she shouldn’t

71)SLAY CHARLIE SLAYYYYY

72)SLAY MARLIE SLAYYYYYY

73)I think the fact that April had alien blood in her veins sort of played a part in her being so badass

74)Jesus Christ?

75)Oh look!Another crack!

76)Oh fuck,Tanya saw her brothers

77)OH FOR BRENDON URIE’S SAKE

78)He kills two at the same time now?!

79)THIS WAS JUST CRUEL

80)TANYA KICKED THE SHADOW THINGY!OH MY GOD HER BROTHERS MIGHT NOT DIE

81)SLAY QUILL SLAYYYYY

82)MARLIE!MARLIE!MARLIE!

83)"Please don’t go where I can’t follow"WHEN DID THIS BECOME STAR WARS?!BLOODY HELL

84)"We have a problem"no shit Sherlock

85)Quill is going to teach Tanya how to fight!!!

86)Sarcasm is one’s self defense

87)Quill’s hormones are kicking in

88)Ram is gone and I want him to drag his lazy arse back here and help

89)Yeah April probably admits that she loves Ram because…well they are going to die

90)Charlie realised that Tanya is with Quill and is shocked af

91)YES TANYA WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY IT SOUNDS BAD BUT GUESS WHAT?RAM LOST HIS DAD AND HIS GIRLFRIEND BUT YOU DON’T SEE HIM WANTING TO SACRIFISE APRIL,JACKIE AND CHARLIE

92)What is going on with April?

93)YES MATTEUSZ TALK SOME SENSE HERE!

94)BECAUSE QUILL HAS GOTTEN INTO YOUR BRAIN AND IF CA:CW HAS TAUGHT US ANYTHING IS THAT REVENGE IS NOT THE ANSWER.

You do not fight genocide with genocide

95)Honey,I was 14 too and I know better than to act when I’m angry

96)Oh you stopped shouting now?

97)NO FUCK NO FUCK THIS SHIT I’M OUT

98)SHADOW THINGY GOT MY SON

99)HE GOT MATTEUSZ

100)FUCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK

101)Ram heard the message…thank Heavens

102)BACK AGAIN WITH THE SHADOW THINGY AND MATTIE

103)ELLIE I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL STOP TALKING TO YOU

104)CHARLIE AND I WILL KILL THE SHADOW KIN TOGETHER

105)Fuck April is here too

106)RAM PLEASE COME BACK

107)April wants to sacrifise herself…omg I can’t

108)OH FOR GOD’S SAKES WHY ARE ALWAYS MY FAVOURITES SUFFERING?

109)When I said I wanted more bromance between April and Charlie I did not mean it like that

110)No don’t kill April!

111)WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?!

112)HOW DID THEY INVADE THEIR SHADOWS?!

113)THIS IS SO HARD AND EMOTIONAL

114)I’M SOOOOO CONFUSED

115)NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

116)I’M DONE

117)I’M SOOOOO DONE

118)MY DAUGHTER IS DEAD

119)APRIL IS DEAD AND I’M DYING TOO

120)RAM IS HERE AND HE’S PROBABLY ALSO MENTALLY DYING LIKE I AM

121)WHAT THE FUCK?!

122)WHAT THE FUCK?

123)NO!

124)FUCKING NO

125)FUCK NO

126)FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK

127)ΤΙ ΜΑΛΑΚΙΕΣ ΕΙΝΑΙ ΑΥΤΕΣ ΓΑΜΩ ΤΟ ΣΠΙΤΙ ΣΑΣ?!ΠΟΙΟΣ ΠΑΠΑΡΑΣ ΣΚΕΦΤΗΚΕ ΑΥΤΕΣ ΤΙΣ ΜΑΛΑΚΙΕΣ ΜΗΝ ΧΕΣΩ?!ΓΑΜΩ ΤΟ ΣΠΙΤΙ ΣΑΣ! ΓΑΜΩΤΟ ΜΟΥ!ΤΙ ΣΤΟ ΔΙΑΟΛΟ?!ΔΕΝ ΤΟΝ ΔΕΧΟΜΑΙ!ΑΡΝΟΥΜΑΙ ΝΑ ΔΕΧΤΩ ΤΕΤΟΙΕΣ ΠΑΠΑΡΙΕΣ!

128)I KNOW RAM!I KNOW THAT CHARLIE KILLED HER BUT OH MY GODDDDDD

129)FUCKING HELL

130)*spits out tea*CHARLIE IS NOW THE KING?!

131)OH MY GOD NO

132)HE’S GONNA USE THE CABINET

133)FUCKING HELL

134)FUCK EVERYTHING

135)FUCK

136)MATTEUSZ IS ME AGAIN!PLEASE DON’T!!!!

137)NOOOOO I CAN’T LOSE MY SON TOO

138)YES CHARLIE!MATTEUSZ IS RIGHT!PLEASE DON’T DO THIS

139)ELLIE I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW

140)I’M CRYING

141)THE SHADOW THINGY ALMOST STRUCK QUILL RIGHT IN THE BELLY!

142)THANK GOD TANYA KNOCKED HIM OUT!I CAN’T HANDLE MORE DEATHS

143)NOOOOOOO

144)I’M CRYING

145)APRIL’S DEAD AND HER MOTHER KNOWS

146)I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME

147)I’M NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN!(YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE)

148)IS HE ALIVE?

149)OH MY BLOODY HELL CHARLIE IS STILL ALIVE

150)PLEASE BE ALRIGHT

151)NEVERMIND FALSE ALARM…HE’S DYING

152)FUCK

153)FUCKITY FUCK

154)YES MISS QUILL SAVE MY BABY CHARLIE!!!

155)WAIT NO!

156)THAT WENT TO RAM WTF?!

157)Is this Heaven or a church?

158)I don’t give a fuck about Dorothea and her beliefs,I want to know what is happening to my children!

159)"Then it is a shame"that the poor groom’s bride is a whore

160)What the hell was that statue?

161)What is even the Arrival?

162)"What happened?!"I’ve been asking the same thing since the very beginning

163)MY BABY CHARLIE IS ALIVE

164)HE’S TRAUMATISED BUT ALIVE

165)What the bloody hell?A SHADOW THINGY GOT UP

166)Oh fuck it isn’t a shadow thingy…it’s the Shadow Thingy

167)WHAT THE FUCK?!

168)I WAS FURIOUS AND CRYING AND NOW I’M JUST LAUGHING

169)The Shadow Thingy is April holy fuck

170)Holy fuck,Ellie might live after all

171)Actually screw that because it’s over

172)Is there going to be a season 2?

173)I swear if there isn’t,I’m going to explode

I think we took some important lessons today:

-Do not let me get into new fandoms

-Ellie is evil

-I swear a lot when anxious

-I’m super mad and sad

-Ellie is evil

I also need a hug :-(

[justzara]

is that [zendaya]? no, that’s just [zaranyika “zara” gunda]. [she/they] is/are [twenty two] years old and is/are a [part time student, odd job-er, & aspiring podcaster]. rumor has it they’ve been in town for [14 years]. on a good day, they’re [introspective & inquisitive]. but watch out! they can also be [detached & controlling]. [summer depression by girl in red] plays in my head whenever i think of them. can’t wait to see them around springhill! 

[rae, 22, est, she/they]

tw: drugs, emotional abuse, lgbtq issues, homophobia

about zara

As much as Zara likes to put on a brave face, inside, she’s hurting. Her mom is a junkie and left her and her dad when she was 8, and her dad hasn’t been the same since. He’s super controlling and can be emotionally abusive towards her.

Zara has a pretty logical mind, despite her emotions having such a tight grip on her, and she likes to know how things will end before she puts her all into it. She’s scared of the unknown. After her mom left, her dad sorta gave up on all the childhood memories and duties, other than being strict with her and forcing her to only focus on school. The only extracurriculars he allowed her to do were student government and debate club. And funnily enough, she ended up really loving them in the end, which is why she is studying Business Management in college - at Springhill’s community college. 

Due to her missing out on the childhood aspects of her past, Zara taught herself how to ride a bike. She learned to forge her father’s name for detention slips and tardy notes. She accepted to not expect her father to show up to any of her basketball games. Zara had learned, at a young age, to not get her hopes up because that only led to disappointment. The only person she could truly trust was herself.

When she was 15 years old, Zara had first learned the word “non-binary” and took comfort in the idea of not having to choose between identifying herself as solely male or female. Zara uses both she/her and they/them pronouns, and she appreciates when her friends ask her which pronouns she’d like to use that day. Lately and in general, she tends to use she/her, as she’s comfortable with presenting her feminine side in that way and masculine & non-binary sides via the clothes she wears. As for her sexuality, she’s always known, subconsciously, that she has drifted more towards liking girls than boys, but she’s open to all kinds of love, as well.

As far as her working life goes, she likes to be self-sufficient and does odd jobs around town (she’s taught herself a lot of tricks n hobbies n stuff in general lol bc she’d often have to spend a lot of time at home, following her dad’s orders). She’s good with cars (she’s hoping to buy and refurbish an RV so she can travel more - inspo), tutoring, babysitting (she prefers ages 5 and up), pet sitting, cleaning/organizing (when it’s not her own room lol), some technological stuff, etc etc. And she’s still learning more so she can work more!

TW: drugs!!!! (Xanax, Adderall, brief mention of heroin, marijuana)

Zara, unfortunately, has always second-guessed herself. Being a product of a dead-beat mother and insanely strict father may have something to do with that. She had always toyed with the idea of trying drugs, as she wanted to feel closer to her mother and figure out why she chose them over her family. Zara’s first experimentation with any kind of drug was Xanx, which she bought from the weird drug dealer in her freshman orientation class in college. Her second drug of choice was Adderall, to help her get through her first finals week. Things kept escalating from there. Her cut-off point, however, was heroin. She promised herself that she’d never shoot up; she liked being high and dulling her feelings...but she didn’t want to die, persay, and heroin seemed like a death sentence to her. Also, the few times that she’s smoked pot, she’s gotten paranoid, so she tends to stay away from that as well.

wanted connections

i think imma make a separate page on her blog specifically for wc’s - sooooo stay tuned!!

ooc / final notes

omg if you’ve read this far, THANK U SM!!! we’re basically friends bc ur the real MVP :’) pls pls plsssss message me if you’d like to plot w my bb!! 

fun fact: zara is the love child of MJ (spiderman), Rue (euphoria), and myself (esp LGBTQIA+ related, as I’m figuring that out, too, like her!!) if you ever would like to talk to someone (a new friend :D aka me lol) about LGBTQIA+ stuff, mental health stuff & staying positive during these #rough times, or gush about our love of zendaya, sabrina carpenter, harry potter series, etc etc -- then pls message me!!! we don’t have to talk solely about the rp/our charries (although i’d be 100000% okay w that uwu) bc i LOVE making new friends :D and some of my bffs are writing buddies i’ve met online! yayyayayyy

okayyyy rambling done !! ttyl hopefully :D

love always, rae xx

UPDATE 7/13/20 

xyz

[kehideni]

Ezt a faszom turhát sikerült kiköpnöm magamból.

this movie is limping…

the heroine is not explained, neither is why she’s bullied, she’s not likeable, she tries with a dry sense of humor only to fail

but the robot protagonist is interesting and loveable and visibly grows by the second, but still behaves like a robot

so like one leg of the movie is crap but the other is good

kehideni

also a kid characterised like this would run away from home with a mom like that…

kehideni

Mom you were clearly an asshole, why are you acting like you are depressed? As if you care, so far you had NO moment proving you care for your own devilspawn.

Robot, you got no nose, how can you tell if something smells nice? What is “nice” for a robot?

kehideni

Kiddo… “unfocused rage” is not that… If you know why you are mad and aim your anger at said subject then it’s just quite simply anger.

kehideni

you’re a robot… why are you disgusted by trash… you’re not gonna get sick…

also i’m at the first third of the movie and our two main characters are still not having their “adventure”

kehideni

that dog is a size of a pint, and that’s a half a ton robot, if you can lift it with your pinky why did you fall over?

kehideni

that’s about the first joke in this movie that actually works…

kehideni

what’s the point of giving the dog a voice if half the movie he didn’t need to talk?

Another source of humor i guess but… it comes in so late….

kehideni

so like… i get the robot power trope but… where does all the resource come from that’s needed to create all of THAT…

like… what’s the need for a robot ramen-cup? That’s a huuuuge waste of resource even if you can reuse it. It must be wastly limited, who pays for these? What keeps up the economy? Mr. Evil Dude said he “works” at that corporation or whatever, but what does an average Joe do for a living?

How Expensive are those robots?  So many questions and no answers at all.

kehideni

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

So this is supposed to be the “crap in the crepes” part, trouble in paradise, the false part of the false-utopian world trope but…

First: self destruction looks so mild, cheetos explodes like that in it’s commercial.

Second: THAT’S EVEN MORE WASTEFUL OF A WORLD ALREADY BEING SO WASTEFUL THE WRITERS DECIDED NOT TO EVEN THINK OF EXPLAINING THAT PART OF THE WORLD.

Third: It’s nothing new. The previously shown AI robots already did aggression on behalf of a corrupt person. Why did Mr. Evil Dude need the new line for this? Even more wasteful.

Fourth: Mr. Evil Dude already has everything he can ever want. What more could he possibly want to be motivated so hard to be Mr. Evil Dude. (he must be rich beyond belief, he got no boss, he is well loved and adored in his community, practically is the leader of false-utopia without the negative political lights) So really… what IS his motivation? What could it POSSIBLY be… i tell you whatever it is, he’s a fkin idiot.

kehideni

oh whaow Ms. Bully… another character worth a mini rant:

Simply put she’s not a character. Why does she hate Ms. Main character? I don’t know!

What’s her reaction to her robot being obliterated right in front of her?

“Omg. What was that?” With just the perfect amount of monotone to communicate to us, the watchers -that she really is just another AI that suspiciously has less emotions that the actual AI robots.

kehideni

BWAHAHAHAHAHA that scream was on the equalent of “ew i saw a stink bug” not a “OMFG THAT THING JUST FKIN LASERBEAMED MY FKIN ROBOT RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!”

kehideni

On a side note, are there really only two people working at a World-power corporation?

kehideni

how can the school system make even less sense in this utopian world than in the ACTUAL world?

Edit 1: WHY does the dog need to swear? WHY have him speak if you bleep him out? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Like seriously… the dog didn’t need to speak!! But you MADE him speak, ONLY to be bleeped out HALF THE TIME HE SPEAKS THAT HE DOESN’T EVEN NEED TO DO IN THE FIRST PLACE.

IT HAS NO ROLE IN THE MOVIE! IT HAS NO PURPOSE!! IT DOES NOT HELP THE STORY FORWARD!!!

Edit 2 ALREADY:

Why does the robot hide the fact that his memory is getting full? What gave him the idea to hide something from his…. whatever he sees the girl as.

Do you know why? For plot~~~~

Edit fkin 3 IN THE SAME FKIN MINUTE:

HOW is he SAD if he KEEPS DELETING HIS FKIN MEMORIES.

Edit 4: Oh so the mom is just as fkin horrible as shown so far. What a surprise. So then WHY did the kid stay with her?

Edit 5: KID YOU FKIN STUPID! Blowing up the mailbox is “fixing the World” to you? How does that help people to not get hurt? YOU FKIN STUPID AND YOU CAN’T EVEN REASON THE THINGS YOU DO. You fkin devilspawn.

WHY should i like this protagonist again??? Because she was bullied? Guess what! You can be bullied and STILL be a fkin ass. Doesn’t make bullying right, but bullying also doesn’t give you the right to be a fkin ass. You fkin ass.

Edit 6: So our protagonist is a p.o.s., her mom is a p.o.s. her classmates are p.o.s.(plural) Mr. Evil Guy is a p.o.s., Mr. Good Science guy is a STUPID p.o.s. but atleast his motivations are given and they are genuine. The only character that’s loveable is Robot-protagonist. OH and we were introduced to a character who’s only scene was her introduction.

What else… oh yeah Ms. Protagonist p.o.s. is “shown” to care for our Robot-protagonist only to be a p.o.s. to him when it shows genuine interest in befriending her. You know… kinda the solution to her problem? The being alone part? The having no friends part? The having no actual guardian/parental figure part? Ms. Protagonist p.o.s. is a fkin ass AND stupid.

This movie is making me angrier that HotS pugs…

Edit 7: And just like that our Ms. Protagonist p.o.s. the one “victim” of the world became the abuser of the one single valuable character in the movie. And we get more and more reason to question, that if Robot-protagonist’s AI is sooooo advanced it can pick out important memories based on sentimental value, then WHY didn’t it leave that p.o.s. so far. Because that’s what she is this whole ass fkin movie. A piece of sh*t.

If the writers’ goal was to make the girl into what she hates, a mindless, soulles machine while the machine becomes a lovable, kind character(amongst all the unnecessary violence our P.O.S. protagonist puts him through) then i’m impressed. Otherwise this movie’s only value is in the Robot-protagonist.

Edit 8: EYYYY the one scene girl asks the real questions! … To witch we don’t get answers to~ here is the second character that shows some value in this movie. Only for this scene to be fouled by our p.o.s. protagonist.

Edit 9: BWAHAHAHAHAHA Ms. Bully strikes with her oh so emotion packed facial expression and voice~ “stop it that’s not fair” *watches her robot being destroyed like this* ._. doesn’t even attempt to stop Ms. Protagonist p.o.s.

“I wasn’t doing anything. What is wrong with you, you nosy little freak.” again. no emotion. and a very stupidly sounding script.

“I wasn’t doing anything.” … pft… that’s what you tell the teachers not the ones you bully… jesus everyone is a fkin p.o.s. idiot in this movie.

Oh my GOD even her crying sounds bored

Edit madafakin 10: KJSRFBAHJDFAHBSD I AM *THIS* CLOSE TO WRITE A FOKIN ESSAY ON HOW STUPID THIS FKIN MOVIE IS. And it hurts so BAD because i can see the good intention behind it, but it’s just so fkin HORRIBLY DONE.

It could have been a unique animation, i see what they INTENDED the message to be, but it misses it’s mark SO.FKIN.BAD.

The pacing is off, the characters are off, the villain is off, the mother is off, IF THE MAIN FKIN PROTAGONIST I’M SUPPOSED TO FEEL FOR IS OFF your movie slaps like a dead fish!

Edit 11: whouuhhhh i’m reaching new milestones…

That line would be SO touching if the main character wasn’t a p.o.s.

Edit 12: how did that huge ass tank robot get in there without them noticing, how did mr evil dude get in there how did he know where to find them how howheikqajuwhnekajsnhdkajhwohwhowhowhowhowhwohwohowhwohow thismovieissofkiinstupid

Edit 13: huh-…. Mr. Evil Dude reveals his plans in front of the good guys™

And to my own surprise, his motivation is not stupid. When you think killing people makes the world a better place well… you played me kind sir,… i like you. DINGDINGDINGDINGDING third character that’s valuable in this movie.

I would too, kill everyone in your world with my own two hands, this movie is so stupid.

And look our dry sense of humor p.o.s. protagonist made a dry quip which was not only seen a mile away it was not even funny. Can’t she just shut up? She’d look so much wiser.

Edit 14: the movie reached it’s action peak, and i reached MY peak. There’s just so many stupid ass BS going on all at once i can’t keep up anymore. I’m like… boiling inside with rage and all i can do is sit and watch as scene by scene more BS is happening.

The fight is cool and all. And that’s where the compliment stops. I can’t even begin, i’m … i’m just gonna skip roasting this scene it’s just too easy. There’s just too much to grab a hold of. I give up… i’ll just stare and wait till something resembling “sense” pops up. Maybe that’ll reboot my brain.

Edit 15: There’s no hope. The following scene is just as- if not even more - stupid as the last.

Edit 16: All i need is a single sentence to wreck this movie. Should i or should i not? Because that one sentence would bring down a big ass debate. But in essence that one sentence would collect everything i hate about the A.I. trope.

Edit 17: Movie, you are nothing close to slick. Also you are horrible with foreshadow. Why would Mr. Evil Guy talk like a robot NOW of all times… oh right… for plot. The second he twitched and didn’t react to being hit we all knew he is a robot. So WHY the fk does the movie need to stop Mr. Science guy from finishing his revealing sentence™. And whaow did you dispose of him so fast like a used paper tissue.

Edit 18: so unbreakable glass is really just… really hard to break glass

Edit 19: Joke number 2 that actually works at 1:17:34

Edit 20: Again… Movie you are nothing close to slick. That p.o.s. mom character can’t be redeemed with an apology, that came only after being kidnapped by her idol.

Edit 21: in the same fkin minute… again…. and a plot device that was not there before…*sigh* again.

Edit 22: i love this villain. And screw this whole ass movie, i’m rooting for the evil robot. Also plothole: if he “stole” the body of his creator, then why did Mr. Science guy know his real identity, and that raises a whole lot of can of wurms i’m just… i don’t have time to open. I already jumped like 4 whole ass sequences in this movie to save time, because after this i must go to sleep.

Edit 23: of course the deadly bomb-robots wait until you toss their 100kg butt into fkin air one after the other to explode, also Bully coming around™ … -_- why?? she was an antagonist with no redeeming qualities nor motivation of any sort. Heck, lacking any emotions at all? Why should i give a crap that she thinks p.o.s. protagonist is cool?

EDIT MADAFAKIN 24 AND I SWEAR IT’S THE FINAL ONE BECAUSE MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER STABBED ME IN THE BACK AND SAID THE EXACT SENTENCE THAT I AM ABOUT TO FKIN MURDER RIGHT HERE!!!

“our memories make us who we are” YOU FKIN IDIOT P.O.S. ROBOT!

suuuu saaaaaaaaa

so if a robot “downloads” all my memories, will it become ME?

If you clone me, who ends up with not only the same body but the same memories as i have, will that be ME?

The answer is fkin’ NO! Their identity is a copy of me, they will NEVER be me. They just have the access to everything i have/ had in my brain!

The clone will have the same arrangement of atoms for sure, but it can NEVER be ME! It’s made up of different atoms!

IF MEMORIES MAKE WHO YOU ARE, HOW THE EVERLOVING FK DID YOU MAKE YOUR VERY FIRST DECISION YOU P.O.S. ROBOT?!??!??!??!

[boleynns]

LOOSE ENDS, ASSHOLES.

I wrote this 3 days ago, because I just KNEW they were going to fuck it all up.

^PHOTO OF A LIAR, for reference. LONG list of pissed off thoughts below.

ON YOUR WATCH.

That Molly scene in TFP was so horrendous. I don’t even ship them at all, but really. How much of an asshole do you have to be???

How did John and Sherlock survive a bomb by jumping through glass windows and landing 2 stories down on the concrete with no injuries?

How did they get on that boat?

WHY were they on that boat?

WTF was that imaginary plane bullshit???

NO ONE CARES THAT THE DOG ISNT REAL, ARE YOU KIDDING ME

Why did Mary think John would pull away from Sherlock if she died, if she didn’t know she was going to die saving Sherlock? If she’d died ANY other way, John would have no reason to pull away.

Why did Mary give Sherlock the 10000% worst advice in the world (seriously, who tf tells their “friend”, who is a DRUG ADDICT, “GO FUCK YOURSELF on drugs, and GO DIE on purpose” on the random ass off chance that John would find this out in time???)?

Why did Mary have a slip of paper to knock Sherlock out prepared ahead of time?

Why did Mary tell Sherlock and John that “A.G.R.A.” was her initials, when if they had just looked at the fucking drive they would see her real name?

Why was she SOOOOO worried that Sherlock and John would look at the drive, if all that was on there were A.G.R.A.’s identities???

Why did Mary shoot Sherlock directly in the chest point blank, which did kill him enough that the doctors GAVE UP, if she wasn’t trying to fucking kill him dead forever?

Why would Mary not recognize Vivian (or at least, her voice) if A.G.R.A. worked with her?

If Mycroft dealt with freelancers, why did he not know Mary wasn’t fucking MARY???

Why would Mary name her daughter after an alias that could get said daughter KILLED??? AND WE FUCKING KNOW THAT NAME WAS DANGEROUS, BECAUSE MARY LEFT IT BEHIND TO BECOME “MARY MORSTAN” YOU IDIOTS

What did John’s letter to Sherlock say? If is wasn’t going to be addressed, why the fuck would you put it in the episode??

Why did Molly deliver such a hard “John would rather have anyone but you. Anyone” message if it had NO POINT.

Where did the baby go when everyone the baby knew was at John’s “Therapist’s” office at the beginning of TLD? And don’t give me that “it was with friendS” crap, literally only Sherlock, Molly, and Mrs. Hudson went to that kid’s babyshower for fuck sake, John has no other friends.

If you can’t handle the placement of a baby for ONE EPISODE, don’t write one into your show FOR LITERALLY NO REASON.

What was Sherlock’s reoccurring dream that he was telling Ella? Why put that in if it wasn’t important?

If Mary isn’t bad, and therefore wasn’t working with “Faith” and Culverton to set Sherlock up to die (which would have been a perfect and interesting conspiracy), HOW did “Faith” and Culverton know Sherlock would be drugged up enough to fall into their trap??

WTF was the POINT of Eurus texting with John IF SHE WASNT WORKING WITH MARY to mess with Him and Sherlock? Literally ZERO point to the “plot”.

Also, we see that John and Eurus see eachother for a 2nd time at the bus stop. I thought it was important, even though y’all acted like all they did was text, BUT NOPE just another loose end.

TD-12 was absolutely useless, and you spent SO MUCH time on it. 

why did mary keep repeating villain lines (“Miss me?” multiple times, “Anyone!” multiple times in her video, literally fuck off)

If mary had time to jump 5 feet to take a bullet after its already been shot than sherlock had time to jump out of the way you idiots

also the irony of your holier-than-thou deduction sequence when Sherlock got shot, about how big spurts of dramatic blood only happens in movies? You literally fucked yourself.

zero point to Sherlock and John’s extended “ROMANTIC LOVE WILL COMPLETE YOUUUUU” scene on every level, went no where

speaking of that scene, how did Sherlock hear “Mary” say that he should wear the hat???? HUH>?

Mrs. Hudson WATCHED Mary’’s DVD with sherlock, why was she all “OH, wonder what this is, what could it be, WOW LOOK JOHN its your wife???” later with John and Mycroft WHEN SHE KNEW SHERLOCK WAS PROBABLY DYING

Also why would she just let John watch that cold, knowing Mary’s face would show up??

Why did you make Irene a lesbian if you were going to keep making her ride Sherlock’s dick via text message AGAIN.

I’m sure she would want to tell you this if she was here, so I’ll relay the message: LITERALLY GO FUCK YOURSELVES, YOU “SHERLOCK CAN TURN A LESBIAN WOMAN STRAIGHT, HES JUST THAT AMAZING, NO HOMO!!!” ASSHOLES

why was John still crying about his no homo bro being dead after two years, no offense to my best friend but I will think of you really fondly but probably not be going to therapy forever and being all “I literally am so heartbroken that i cant even say the things that i wanted to say to him when he was alive”

speaking of that thing that he couldn’t say out loud to Ella the Therapist: i guess he just really wanted to tell sherlock “No homo tho”, just to make sure he knew that before he died

speaking of things unsaid - I guess the serious thing that sherlock was going to say to john on the tarmac, that he chose not to say for absolutely no decernable reason, was “Bro, I’m gonna miss you, bro! We had some good bro times bro, NO HOMO!!1!” and then they do that back-slap hug that guys do so things don't get too homo

no offense to the prop department, but that light-up skull, that would be either lit or not lit or COMPLETELY BLACK, was bullshit

speaking of bullshit: kindly shove all of those elephants up your ass

including that Take-Out menu on Mycroft’s fridge. I hope you get a paper-cut that never heals.

i might as well have not even bothered taking notes on these episodes, when I could have literally never watched the show before, not cared at all, and been totally fulfilled by everything by not giving a shit about details and character arcs and, you know, literally all of ACD’s original works.

OMG SHERLOCK HAS A SISTER, I don’t fucking care.

AW POOR MARY, John and her were clearly soooo in love!! - says a person who thinks couples that don’t want to be together even a little are super romantic

literally he was trying to leave his marriage like a month after it started, literally go fuck yourself

Your show made less sense, in terms of emotion and character arcs, than Guy Ritchie’s cash grab movies. Yeah. I said it.

“Look at us both”. YEAH, LOOK AT YOURSELVES IN THE MIRROR.

oh wait i forgot, you don’t know what a mirror is. what is literature? what are emotions? idk, lets make mary gasp for breathe and say “you were my whole world!!!” to john even though that makes zero fucking sense for her character or their relationship at all and does huge disservice to them both LOL

Mary could have been the most Awesome Badass Mastermind EVER but you fucked her

An Emotional Arc: Its this thing where characters (who, like people) have emotions (CRAZZY i know), and they start in one place emotionally, and end somewhere new through the story! Lets see:

Sherlock: Starts as a suave, kinda swashbuckling guy who tries to tidy up his apartment for John, asks him to dinner, and basically blushes at John’s attention. In the middle: a bit of an asshole, but one who literally tries to die for John over and over, and literally COMES BACK TO LIFE from a FATAL gunshot bc his subconsious doesn’t want to leave John with Mary. End? “Sometimes I text Irene, just like you text your side-chick! No Homo For Life, RIGHT??? Don’t think about how every action I take is to keep you safe or happy, lol”

John: Starts as an emotionally repressed, suicidal, PTSD stricken loner who is immediately enamored with Sherlock’s brain, and literally kills a man like 1 day after they meet. Middle: A bit of an asshole who is horrible at understanding that Sherlock is NOT a robot without feelings - but an asshole who is willing to die for him, and with him, but who has major trust issues. End? “I wish I had REALLY cheated on Mary with Bus Girl, I can’t believe I missed my chance! Also, even though I’m reacting extremely jealously to you texting Irene, I think you should hit that! Now hold me while I cry, and then lets get cake while my baby cries on the floor like a Sim somewhere NO HOMEO”

I will never let you forget this.

Congrats actually, you HAVE made history! You’ve made a Historically Huge Fuck Up.

Your show’s depth is thinner than Donald Trump’s skin.

200+ adaptations of Sherlock Holmes, no courage present - oh, except for that one parody “Oklahomo” one (thanks for including Sherlock tweeting an “Oklahoma!” reference also! if I had balls, that would’ve been a kick to them!).

LOL Sherlock and John - literally so hilarious!! All those people whining “They’re Not GAY that gross, Doyle would be rolling in his grave if he found out people thought that!” and “NO! SHERLOCK IS AN EMOTIONLESS ROBOT except he can fuck irene I'm okay with that for some reason”? They were all right! What a fucking joke.

I guess “Could he daily feel a stab of hunger for you, and find nourishment at the very sight of you? Yes [he’s in love with you]. But do you ache for him?” meant nothing—OH WAIT that’s from a show that actually textually acknowledged the feelings of love between it’s two main characters. And they didn’t even say “No homo!” afterwards?? I can’t believe it.

don’t ever ask your audience to pay attention on a subtextual level again. clearly, you can’t handle it.

also: I honestly couldn’t give a shit about your endless and constant derision and annoyance with people asking about the relationship between the MAIN CHARACtTERS OF YOUR FUCKING SHOW get over yourselves, and i really hope somehow ACD comes back as a ghost to haunt you one christmas, just to tell you straightt to your stupid faces that you fucked up, and how sad he is that it will always be 1895 - because nothing ever changes, and they will be stuck there forever, out of time.

how dare you bring Oscar Wilde and Freddie Mercury into this mess.

Your intentions don’t matter - what matters is that I would have been better off not paying attention to literally ANY details, not caring one ounce about the characters, and just tuning in as a completely casual viewer. 

The real lesson was “Caring is not an advantage.”, and that is sad.

And the real Final Problem? “It’s not about the characters, its about some stupid ass dog and a stupid ass ‘Saw’ house, and who gives a shit about the rest.

Congratulations - I no longer care!

[dorianpavus]

WELL FOLKS sorry i haven’t been around i’ve been super busy with work!!! here’s some updates!!!!

work updates!! d&d updates (the irl campaign, not the internet one)!!!

work life has been.... really rough the past few days!!!!!! like. damn. i’ve made some great friends at work (one of my friends was saying how he thinks i was like Meant To Be In His Life and he says he’s never met anyone as Good as me or as Unique as me and while i don’t agree i’m so honored and happy he thinks so u know he’s wonderful!!!! gosh!!!)

buuuuuuuuut.... like ok. i was scheduled for a clopen shift last night and today. so like, 4pm-12ish and then 8:00am-4ish, which i was already pretty bummed about. and then i found out that the person who was supposed to do the Operator shift (which involves a lot of work) the day before me color coded the hangers instead of.......... doing her job............. on a saturday............................. so i had to do an entire weekend’s worth of work this morning. and i knew that was coming, and i was already like GOD. WHY. a clopen and this?

but then saturday night, last night... there’s a new closing manager. he just got promoted. i didn’t know anything about him really, but i’d heard my team say how much they all hated him just from working with him in the past, and i guess he was brand new at the management position and Really Fucking Intense because he wanted everything to be perfect. but like i was focused in my areas and making them look super good (even on a saturday night which isn’t easy lol), except for like the diaper aisle which is always a little messy bc it gets ransacked. but i had put everything away and it looked like... fine lol. and the infants food aisle has been messy for like months bc it would take hours alone to fix so like.... no one ever has hours just to clean it. so it stays that way and has been that way 5ever. we keep it as clean as we can but like... it’s not Perfect looking. not bad, but not Perfect, and that’s the way it literally ALWAYS IS.

WELL. the new manager is from a different department and he has NEVER been over in my department. until now. and at the end of the night after the store closed he came running over and was like absolutely frantic and angry and was like WHO HAD INFANTS????????????? and i was like, um... me? very confused? and he was like, in front of everyone as we’re about to clock out, DID YOU NOT FINISH WTF HAPPENED?????? WHY IS IT SUCH A MESS?????

and i was really confused cause my area was like. pristine. and i even finished early and helped out in another area of the store. like. what???? so i thought maybe a customer had spilled something as they were leaving the store and i had somehow missed it? so as everyone else leaves he forces me to go back to infants with him and he’s like pointing at some of the diapers that are like. slightly askew or not Perfectly Straight and he’s like yelling at me like “WTF!!!!! DOES THIS LOOK DONE TO YOU?????????”

and i’m just looking at him in utter confusion cause like.... he has CLEARLY never ever worked softlines, lmao. but i was like in my head, honestly? yes, it does? like it could be zoned a little more, definitely!! but it’s not like... bad looking at all? at all? like my main boss from my department walked my areas all night and she said they looked good, so idk wtf he was on, but he was FREAKING OUT. because he was just promoted, and so he needed everything to be like factory-perfect because he wanted to look good in front of the store manager, who he’s super intimidated by.

well. lol. i was being super nice to him, and letting him yell at me, and like, “yeah, of course! this should be neater, i’m sorry, it was really busy tonight and i didn’t get to spend as much time back here as i would have liked.” which is true. like 98% of my areas were pristine, and 2% were average. lmao, so i still did a great job, but i was trying to be sympathetic to the fact that he was new and nervous and wanted to make a good impression, even if he was kind of treating me like crap. so i let him keep me at work after everyone else left and helped tidy up those two aisles that he was sooooo upset about, and then he had me leave and go do some of his work for him up at the front. and i was standing up there really upset that he had yelled at me over nothing and then made me stay at work alone and do his work for him when one of the other managers saw me up there as she was leaving and she was like ?????? katie???????// what are you doing here?????????????

and i was like “soandso is having me do this for him...” and she was like WTF!!! get outta here!!!!! go home clock out u don’t have to do that. like leave!!!!!

so i did, and i got home and was kind of upset still (i cried like the second i left the store lol) and was like pretty glum about it all (and dreading my opening shift that was now less than 8 hours away with a whole weekend’s worth of work waiting for me, yay!!!).... and then i couldn’t sleep. like i couldn’t sleep that night so i just DIDN’T SLEEP AT ALL. AT. ALL. not for a minute. before i had to go back to the store.

so i get there in the morning, and i’m trying really hard to be positive and put that behind me. like, that was last night, you’re tired af but you can do this katie!!!!!! it’s ok!!!! you got this!!! and i actually started to cheer up because i was BLAZING through all my piles of work and like........... got all of it done and it was making me super happy that i had singlehandedly caught my department back up to speed and everything.... and i was just like i’m good!!!!!!! i got this!!!!!!!! 

......... and then at 2:30pm my sorta-boss came in. a lower ranking boss, the one who had been there with me the night before and had confirmed that there hadn’t been anything wrong with my areas, CERTAINLY nothing warranting the new manager’s hysterics. and she was like omg katie..... he is TELLING EVERYONE, like ALL THE HIGHER UPS, that my area was a DISASTER last night and saying how he had to stay late and clean it all up (not mentioning that i stayed and helped him tilt diaper boxes so they were perfectly aligned in my area since that was sooooo~~~ terrible~~~~, or how i did his job stuff for him, lmao), and saying how i had apparently told him i “don’t zone HBA” as in i literally supposedly told my boss that i never do my job???????????? because that is completely believable????????

but the worse part is is that a bunch of the store managers believed him. lol. even though he’s literally fabricating things i said and exaggerating and twisting this situation just to make himself look good. over something super fucking insignificant... and when my boss came up to bat for me and was like WHAT?????????? her areas were fine i checked them myself!!!!!!!!! and he had her stay and tidy it up anyway with him too, it’s not like she left and he had to clean up some imaginary mess of hers!!!! and she helped him do his stuff!!!!! and she would neeeeeeever have said that, and i asked her, and she swears she didn’t anyway!!!!!!!

and i was like... <333333 thank u!!!!!!!! but the other store manger she was defending me to was like... in one ear and out the other. and all, like, “well, soandso said that she said that. so she must have.” despite everything that my boss was saying to defend me. and pointing out that he was LITERALLY LYING. like 2 ppls words against his, but he’s the higher ranking manager, so clearly he’s telling the truth. ughhhhhh.

well when i found out that he was telling my whole place of employment that i was apparently terrible at my job and a terrible person who doesn’t give a fuck about my job here i got pretty upset!!! especially after no sleep!!! and i hadn’t had anything to eat all day!!! like actually nothing!! so like it’s towards the end of my shift and i start like tearing up hiding in the room adjacent to the fitting room and trying to get myself to calm down...

and then my friend (the one who said those nice things 2 me, the security guard i love so much!!!) came by and he was like WHY ARE YOU CRYING??????? and like super upset that i was upset, and he was trying to calm me down/figure out what was wrong/help but it was so so embarrassing to be crying in front of him godddddd, like AT WORK crying. jesus.

and then another coworker of mine saw me crying too. and now another coworker of mine just messaged me on FB saying he heard about everything and he’s furious on my behalf (which i’m really happy there’s ppl on my side here and some people believe me...) and stuff but i’m like 100% positive the fact that i was crying has probably made its way around work which i’m just... so humiliated by

god. i have tomorrow off work so i’m looking forward to not being there because it’s kind of making me miserable right now. like who does that!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the area looked fucking fine, why are you trying to make this huge thing and throw me under the bus just for.. what? to make yourself look like... a self-sacrificing person? a leader who will do anything for the store? idk. it’s so shitty!!!!

but whatever. :(

i was also SUPER SUPER tired cause after work i had to run home and go straight into my first d&d session, like our actual playing!!!

and omg!!!! omg friends it’s sooooo fuuuun!!!!! just.... i forgot all my exhaustion and bad work things and was just elated while i was playing. it’s the BEST. and i rolled like a million natural 20s and played super smart!!!!!!!!! asra is killin it!!!!!!!!!!! :3

anyway it’s now 2:47 am and despite like an accidental 10 minute nap i had on the couch when i got home from d&d  i’m still awake. it’s been so long since i slept lol???. and my brother bought me like an entire pizza to cheer me up???????? lmao. also cause i went like 24 hours without food which was..... bad. god. what a horrible no good dirty rotten day this was. except for d&d. d&d was amazing.

anyway. i’m gonna go put away my leftovers and pet my kitty and then watch critical role as i drift off. :) 

sorry i haven’t been around much!!! or posting much!! my dash has been pretty MIA lately too which doesn’t help. i’ll try and get a queue up and running. i love u all and i hope things are goin well in ur lives too!!! <333333333