#but then where did the woman (who is definitely real and definitely supernatural in nature) come from.

[claraoswalds]

It's racist, my dear, to be blunt. People come from outside, they think we're all witches and druids. For God's sake, child, you walked into a piece of string!

[bubbleddisasters]

HSR THOUGHTS:

—————————

Topaz and Guinafen: Topaz’s Apple White Syndrome vs Guinafen’s Lore and Experience.

————

This thought came to me when I added these two on a team together.

Diving right in, Apple White Syndrome is a name I’ve given to Characters who were or are under very specific and rare conditions in which they benefit or are benefited, and pressure others to follow suit in belief it is for the greater good, but it in reality puts others in far more suffering, and only benefits a select few if lucky.

Another Character who can be used as an example for this is Riddle Rosehearts pre-Overblot, but in a far more distant way.

Topaz’s world was saved by the IPC because their demand was that everyone, everyone in an entire world agreed to join them. Those odds are horrendously slim, but by sheer luck, everyone did agree. Because of this, the IPC did comply and save them, leading Topaz to believe the IPC and its work is actually good for the people.

Guinafen suffered immensely because of the IPC, when her world was completely destroyed by the Antimatter Legion, before her parents death, they sent, her, her siblings and ONE trusted family friend to be their legal guardian, and shipped them away to safety.

They landed on a mining planet taken over by the IPC.

After explaining their situation and expecting rescue or relief, not only did the IPC do absolutely nothing, they put those old enough to work in forced labor camps, lowkey slavery and even with that, the younger children who couldn’t work were under horrendous circumstances, living in a cave, given little to no payment; food or basic necessities, to the point the youngest often fought over lizards to eat. Directly after loosing everything and being stranded, they were immediately put through more shit. No mercy.

(Pre- existing Residents of this planet faced these conditions aswell, but possibly still had their homes)

The adult later passed on due to physical strain and exhaustion. Aka worked to death. Her three eldest brothers then turned to (space) piracy as a way of survival, they were later captured and executed, but pleaded safety for the youngest.

This lead to her arrival on the Xianzhou, Later meeting Sushang, who gave her the name Guinafen (her real name is Guinevere)

Working up from nothing, basically homeless and preforming on the street, got involved with a major government and supernatural conspiracy, then later becoming a planet famous social media influencer.

I think because of her experience, Guinafen would be the perfect person to knock some sense into Topaz.

Guinafen would most definitely take her by surprise, because of her naturally cheery nature, happy go lucky attitude and the fact she chose to move on. She’s the type of person who has either moved on, or created a mask even Sparkle would applaud at to cover that pain.

I think it’s majorly the former. She has chosen to continue life as best she can, restart from nothing.

This woman was once a noble, practically princess, of a world and planet now nonexistent. Someone who has become common passerby’s with Death, Dined with Thrist, Danced with Starvation and was cradled by Misery, but she made it out alive.

As a normal person in the Honkai Verse, When you see her online, filming ghost videos, or in the streets doing tricks, you’d never be able to guess that, would you?

I can imagine Topaz wouldn’t clock this, as most wouldn’t. I can imagine Topaz continuously praising the IPC for their help with her planet somehow in conversation, and Guinafen keeping her temper for a good while, pointing out certain things that seem extensively situational, but if it goes on for too long, she might, and has every right to snap.

I was thinking of it similarly to the scene in Ever After High where Apple is continuously stating how everyone should follow their destiny’s, and is happy Raven agreed to sign, and Briar, rightfully, snaps.

“Follow our destiny’s? Thats easy for you to say, Apple. You get poisoned for what, a week? I’m going to loose 100 years of my life. Everyone I love will be dead when I wake up.���

-Briar Beauty (Quote from memory so might not be as accurate)

That scene in particular. I think it would be actually amazing for Sushang, Seele or Bronya to be there aswell, given the entirety of the Belabog incident and the Aurem Alley issues. Just get someone to force her to really see the real effects of the IPC, as she actually possesses the ability to change some of it for the better.

“Look, I’m glad the IPC saved your planet, really, thats great for you, but you can’t tell me they are good people.

Good people don’t immediately take advantage of refugees who just lost everything, especially when only one of them is an adult.

Good people don’t let children get so hungry they fight over lizards like wild animals.

Good people don’t work the only adult with those children to death and leave them to fend for themselves, then get angry and pin the blame on them when they turn to piracy to survive.

Besides, did you ever stop to realize or think about the fact that they probably thought there was no way everyone would agree to that? They would get people forced to work for them either way, by their own will or against it.”

I don’t know alot about Topaz, so somethings on her side might be inaccurate, but I’ve read through all of Guinafens lore, and DAMN, shits sad. Her and Aventurine be traumabonding on my team trust.

Anyway, thats just some thoughts!

[sonicphobia0601]

It's time I spoke about Ludo.

Specifically, how he treated me. After the cock cluster in June (I think us older fans would remember how someone exposed him. Wasn't me and I can't find the blog that did. Awkward), I made it clear that I was willing to help him in the fandom and gave him a nudge. I also made it clear that I would show Tumblr what he is like. He didn't take it and thought I was joking. On that same day, I wrote Chapter 17 of Death and Autism after blocking Ludo. I thought it was the last I saw Ludo. Obviously not!

I write Chapter 18, publish it and thought nothing of it. That was a big mistake.

This shows several things. @kingludoavarius has a gigantic ego (which is worrying). And the way he worded my chapter was quite rude. "Your little rant". As if he was talking down to a child. And that is the equivalent of basically calling me the R slur because I'm autistic. Also, the next part showed that Ludo has obviously learned NOTHING. And to show that it was egotistical, he waited until Chapter 18 to say something even though he wasn't mentioned. (And I draw inspiration from people and include them in fanfiction all the time with permission).

This rubs me the wrong way because of multiple things. This proves he was closed off to suggestions, narcissistic and bigoted. Heck, if he wrote Billie in a queer platonic friendship with Seve he wouldn't be looking like an ass to the entire community and would be perfectly fine as is.

But no, he stuck to his guns and continued his egotistical behavior which evolved into flat out bullying. And it got worse.

Shit got so bad that he had to dragged someone else from the Harry Potter fanfic part of AO3 to bully me. I wasn't being a judgemental prick. This guy acts like queer platonic relationships do not exist (and if someone from the official Billie Bust Up Tumblr says that Katie is in a queer platonic marriage, then this backs up my argument. Do not @ the official Tumblr please. They have already dealt with Ludo).

Things got so bad that @bbu-fan-blog had to step in and basically tell Ludo they're the asshole. To the person running the fan blog, you are definitely going places. Good places too. Here is what @bbu-fan-blog had to say:

"Since BBU is a very personal project, and many characters reflect the devs' personal lives and experiences, changing the LGBT+ identities portrayed in the game, changing sexualities can potentially come off as insensitive. While experimenting with changing characters' sexualities in many fandoms or movies/books/games isn't seen as big of a deal, for BBU its personal nature implicitly asks fans to apply some awareness about the LGBT+ element in it." (a reblog, 2024)

And there are many fandoms that allow LGBTQ+ ships. Harry Potter and Supernatural are not special. The problem is that these fandoms have canonically straight characters and leave interactions between characters open for interpretation (With Destiel, if you didn't know Dean was straight, it could be a cute little relationship between him and Castiel, who is a literal angel. And Harry Potter? Pfft, I have a headcanon where Harry is trans only out of pure spite towards JK Rowling who bullied an actual woman to the point of getting herself into a lawsuit on top of her disgusting transphobia).

And since the characters in Billie Bust Up are tied to real people... Such as Barnaby and Fantoccio having AUTISM for example... I think treating them with the same level of kindness is the best way to go about it. Like there's literally nothing to fix with them. Billie having undiagnosed ADHD is another one. Since the devs wrote them a certain way and have real world ties, their sexualities and queer labels are not open for interpretation. Like let me be honest and raw. Barnaby has a very fruity voice. And I definitely wouldn't change Barnaby even if I was paid a shit ton of money to do that. Seriously, listen to Barnaby in his intro cutscene or listen to this:

I definitely imagine Barnaby dating a guy and singing this to him after he died. And... Uh, spoiler alert, from what I can tell, Barnaby is gender fluid. I definitely need to learn how to write gender fluid characters. Like it's fun but I find myself getting confused. And I'm gender fluid myself.

So Ludo, if you are reading this from an alt account or something like this, congrats. You just bullied a queer autistic adult who is YOUNGER THAN YOU. Scratch that, since if memory serves me right, Ash is autistic and younger than you. So congrats on being a giant bully not just to the autistic side of the fandom but also to the younger fans and fans who are LGBTQ+. Also congrats on actually bullying the developers both to their faces and behind their backs. We DO NOT NEED FIXING.

And one more screenshot.

I read the comments here. The person who wrote the fic in question realized they made a few mistakes and showed that they're willing to listen and change their tack. And what does Ludo do?

Tried justifying pro shipping.

So yeah. Ludo needs to stop being on his computer. It's becoming clear he is chronically online and trying to justify LGBTQ erasure and pro shipping. Which is again, a form of pedophilia.

The writer themselves didn't know (and from what I hear, the writer is a minor). In fact, I don't think they researched. They probably saw Barnaby, Billie, Scrimshaw or Fantoccio, said "Ooh! Cool thingy that looks fun!" And jumped right in without doing research. Which is an oops any new fan could have made.

I can't stress this enough. RESEARCH. RESEARCH. RESEARCH.

So, yeah. TL; DR: Ludo bullied an autistic queer person for simply working with what they do know with info provided by devs and voice actors.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. And Ludo, my pronouns are he/him for you if you are reading this.

Blogger's note: These comments are deleted. So the original screenshots are the ones I provided to talk about my unfortunate experience. These screenshots show Ludo's true colors.

Another thing to note: Billie Bust Up is considered a creative view to the lives of actual people and it would be rude to say nothing. The characters from Billie Bust Up are loosely based on actual people and their stories and struggles. Erasing their sexualities to fit your narrative is basically slapping and bullying the developers themselves. A fine example of this is Billie Bust Up themself because they're loosely based on Katie, who is aroace and is in a QUEER PLATONIC MARRIAGE by the appearance of things, Fantoccio and Barnaby are both loosely based on Ash, who is bisexual and is on the spectrum (their sexualities are probably from actual people on the developer team). The next time I hear "But they're fictional mimimimimimi" just remember that the characters are indeed based on real people and should not have their sexualities changed to fit your narrative because the fandom would see this as a form of bullying the devs and fans alike. Some characters are autistic (A REAL DISABILITY THE BLOGGER HAS) and having disability erasure on top of that would be actively bullying autistic people indirectly by trying to erase the thing that makes these characters so relatable in media (and no, Sheldon Cooper and Jeffy is the worst examples of representation since they only showcase one emotion, which is misinformation in my own humble opinion).

[miirshroom]

Shadow of the Erdtree - Mohg is still Vile and Miquella's "Mind-Control" Powers before becoming a God were Greatly Exaggerated

Thesis: Mohg absolutely did not beat the allegations of kidnapping and child molestation. It is incredibly shortsighted to reach this conclusion based on the words of one person, who is also a supporter of Mohg. There are many more pieces of context to consider.

Mind-control is speculative fiction

"Mind-control" is a word that is easy to understand. There is a mind, it is being controlled. But in the literal sense mind-control isn't real - you can't pilot another person around like a meat puppet. The closest concepts that actually exist are "coercive persuasion" or "thought reform". Both of which mean "reduce its subject's ability to think critically or independently, to allow the introduction of new, unwanted thoughts and ideas into their minds, as well as to change their attitudes, values, and beliefs." The English language doesn't care about clarity of understanding - it likes metaphors and evocative imagery - so this is better known as brainwashing. The CIA's MK Ultra experiments used drugs and torture to psychologically break down subjects and destroy them mentally but were unable to fill the void with anything. Ex-cult members have described their experience as brainwashing, and I think that this is where some cognitive dissonance is found surrounding what brainwashing means.

Cults certainly have been documented to impair a person's ability to think critically, but I think the key difference is that they don't actually introduce "unwanted" thoughts. Humans are social creatures and want to belong to a group - and if the cost of belonging is to change attitudes, values, and beliefs to conform then some people will pay that price. But adding complexity to this - academia is keen on obfuscating the definition of what a cult actually is. There are all of these hoops being jumped through to avoid admitting that the modern cult should mean the same thing that it means in the context of cults from 2000 years ago. A cult is a group that adheres to a belief system about divinity, the afterlife and other alleged supernatural phenomena that is impossible to prove or disprove, and which has political power proportional to the size of its membership. By this definition, all religions are just politically powerful cults that went mainstream. Which is why it isn't the definition that is used.

So does brainwashing define a cult? No, as just established brainwashing isn't literally real - not in the way that it is portrayed in fiction. A cult is defined by adopting an irrational belief system that impairs a person's ability to think critically.

2. The nature of "Mind Control" in Elden Ring

We have places where the ideas of perfect mind-control are explored in speculative fiction and fantasy. High fantasy stories don't use the words "mind-control" or "brainwashing" because there are already all of these archaic words and concepts that people thought of to get across idea that someone is being made to do something against their will. "Compelled", "Bewitched", "Charmed", "Enchanted", "Possessed by Demons".

Rennala "bewitched" the academy of Raya Lucaria with her moon sorcery. Well, she's literally a witch - so that is accurate. Ignoring the supernatural angle one definition of bewitch is "to attract or interest someone a lot so that you have the power to influence them". I suppose this is originating from the idea that men are not responsible for their own emotions, so it's the witchy woman getting into their head in a supernatural way. Regardless, the academy was interested in Rennala's moon, because studying celestial bodies is their purpose and the moon is a celestial body.

The Bewitching Branch:

"Tree branch blessed with an incantation of unalloyed gold. Pierce a foe, using FP to turn them into a temporary ally. The Empyrean Miquella is loved by many people. Indeed, he has learned very well how to compel such affection."

The word "compel" means "to drive or urge forcefully or irresistibly" or "to cause to do or occur by overwhelming pressure". So this combined the idea of bewitching and compulsion means to attract interest and to use overwhelming pressure to cause an irresistible urge towards affectionate love. The Greek word for affectionate love is "Philia" and an expanded definition would be "the type of love that involves friendship. Philia is the kind of love that strong friends feel toward each other." The large Albinauric woman at the Apostate Derelict who Latenna travels to visit in the Consecrated Snowfields is also named Philia. The function of the Bewitching Branch is to make enemies your friend and it is a spell that specifically works through contact. It is even shown directly in the Land of Shadow that Miquella's "charms" do not overwrite anyone's personality - they just are pacified from killing each other. That was probably also the limit of Miquella's power before ascending to a god. The power of friendship.

The nature of the Bewitching Branch being crafted from Sacramental Buds and a Miquella's Lily is tied to the idea of the Haligtree being grown from Miquella's blood. Gideon grants the Bewitching Branch recipe just for reaching the Mohgwyn area - not even for defeating Mohg - and insults the Lord of Blood for good measure. After actually defeating Mohg is when Gideon grants the incantation "Law of Causality". I wonder if these are bigger hints than it seems. The Mohgwyn Dynasty Mausoleum is a tomb - like everything in the underground these are not "new" movements but old things being given new life. The timing of receiving the Bewitching Branch implies Miquella's desire to grow a Haligtree was originated with the idealistic belief that if everyone was united in friendship under a benevolent leader then there would be no repeats of the bloody horrors of the past. The timing of the Law of Causality being received is illustrative of the futility of Miquella's plan. He suffered many blows to his spirits from repeatedly trying and failing in his plans and under those conditions it was only a matter of time before something would cause him to crack and lash out in retaliation.

But then we enter the DLC and I believe that these words of "bewitch" and "compel" are not used again. Leda and her companions are under Miquella's "charm" and Miquella's Great Rune has the power to resist "charms". Ansbach sought to break Miquella's "enchantment" over Mohg. Charm is a word that has been used many times in the talismans and "enchants" or "enchantment" are terms used multiple times to describe "imbuing a weapon with elemental power". In the network test there was an "Enchanted Knight" class which wore the Carian Knight armour set and was thus imbued with the power of the moon.

3. Mohg killed Miquella (figuratively) and Ansbach killed Miquella (literally)

So - is Mohg a weapon imbued with elemental power by Miquella? Only if Miquella is and always has been the Formless Mother who craves wounds. It destroys all purpose of having discreet characters to assume that every character is just somebody else in disguise so let's not go there. Miquella also has never been to the sewers - Miquella's lilies cannot be found there. Trying to argue that Miquella cultivated Mohg's insanity and fixation on blood and pain simply makes no logical or chronological sense. Another definition of "enchantment" is "a feeling of great pleasure and attraction, especially because something is beautiful". Attraction is a stronger word than the friendly affection that Miquella was attempting to foster - it is more closely related to desire or romantic love. Miquella wanted friendship for everyone and Mohg wanted Miquella like a beautiful thing to be possessed.

Working around the lies of omission, Ansbach saw Mohg wavering from his bloody dynastic ambitions and took it upon himself to assassinate Miquella before dying himself and encountering Miquella when they both found themselves in the sleep of death. It's a similar situation with Freyja - she didn't meet Miquella on the battlefield, she died and went to Valhalla. In death, any wound can be healed. The Shadowlands is a place where death washes up - everyone we meet in the DLC is no longer "ye dead who yet live" - they're just dead.

But Mohg is insane and as we are shown repeatedly the demigods don't die in natural ways. Godwyn's body took on a life of its own in death, Radahn's mind is rotted but his body keeps going, and etc. Mohg still wanted Miquella as a consort to be possessed and shared his bloody bedchamber but Miquella never responded. Probably because he was already well established in the Shadowlands through St. Trina residing there so his mind had somewhere to go and dissociate when he was helpless to fight back. Nobody wants their body to be possessed by demons, and that is exactly the imagery evoked when Mohg emerges from Miquella's blood. And demons do take residence in empty bodies in this game - we know this through Shabriri and Hyetta. This is not consent and this is not Miquella's manipulation - this is Mohg doing an incredibly vile and invasive act.

4. The cycle of violence

Despite their differences what Miquella and Mohg do both individually represent is that they are heads of cults. The cult of Miquella is soporific - he encourages stagnation of thought by instructing his followers to just believe in him and his dream and wait for the promised day. Miquella had an elaborate city constructed to give the appearance of action but actually had no real plan except to wait and hope for a miracle. The cult of Mohg is frenzied - he encourages pain and suffering to the point that it overwhelms any constructive thought. He sits in a crumbling ruin because his followers are too dulled by the pain to improve their surroundings.

When these two opposing forces combine they do not cancel each other out but instead create an aesthetically beautiful torment nexus. But what is the point of beauty if it is impossible to enjoy due to the suffering that built it? We already know what that looks like: it's Marika's Golden Order. The Shadow of the Erdtree is not just about Miquella, but about understanding Marika's motivation for becoming a god. A critical part of Marika's story is about the trauma that forged her. There are direct parallels being drawn between Miquella and Marika. Marika was traumatized by the cruelty of her people having their flesh melted together in pots, and in revenge became a god and exterminated the hornsent. Miquella was traumatized by being kidnapped and bathed in Mohg's Omen blood, and in revenge became a god and exterminated Mohg's personhood. Hornsent = Omen. Generational trauma is cyclical.

[thuganomxcs]

SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSES SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?

If we're speaking in the canon sense like in his universe I really do like the idea of yusuke x botan because I like the aspects of him with death...not to mention he's a devil now too soo. I still love Yusuke x Keiko tho just so the peeps know there's no hatred for our girl.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

Anything like a muse being a fucking minor and the other almost hitting their 40's. There's ONE particular verse that does this shit but this ain't about them. As long as you don't ship your literal grown man/woman with a literal definition of a child then I wouldn't have to be disturbed.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFT?

The minute a hand touches a boob or the clothes begin to fly off I'm guessing it's considered NSFW.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

LOL I'd say I am..but people have known to just show up, write with me and in a day of our muses vibing we're already shipping them. I MEAN if I have to be selective I'd say..as long as she's a woman XD

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

Where do I even begin?? First of all I gotta go with the one that started this and that's @belovedblossoms Hiyori. She was the first person I've ever shipped Yusuke with and that relationship has started from not so disney friendly beginnings but entertaining as shit. Then there's @lady-llewellyn El who just ruins the guy, I swear in this ship Yusuke is the innocent one in the relationship no cap. We got @itmeanspeace Shiloh, this one started off just plain physical until she became attached, lol look at me talk as if Yusuke didn't catch feelings too..probably first since he's still kinda technically a human. Give it up for @swordsxandxsakuras Nezuko, the first one to actually go the full nine yards with him to dating all the way down to married with kids. Then there's my homie @fatexbound Chie I wouldn't CALL it a relationship yet but they're definitely in that phase in getting to know one another. You know I gotta put my home girl @adversitybloomed Mulan, who's probably seen everything there is to who Yusuke is as a character, she's been with him as a pervert all the way to him being nice and doing stuff for people. She's also helped him with his family life might have bribed him to go to college but in the end Yusuke proposed to her and it's actually the first REAL proposal I've written as him. I also can't use the term ship without mentioning @bravesung old OC Alyssa, she was definitely a special one who refused to buy into what people said about him, and after discovering he was supernatural (to a degree) just like her it got them to bonding. She's probably believed in him more than he did in himself when it came down to school because she NEVER let him quit HELL she brought his ass TO school whilst he was still sleeping in bed, picture that in your minds if you will. I got good ships and there's even this unhealthy one right here with my girl @acoldsovereign Maiz, tons of ships starts with curiosity, cute moments and even love at first sight and this one is just violence, one devil often tries to get the other devil to dig into those natural urges and forsake his human heart (that literally isn't even working anymore) and just behave like a demon, there's also acts of public terrorism but he'd punch her right..and she'd kick him wrong, it's a tug and pull with 'em. Bruh this segment is getting long since belovedblossom also has other muses that are shipped with Yusuke too and i have a feelin we'd be here ALL day and I've still got a few to talk about. Just know I love all y'alls muses.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

Nah, I mean if we write and there's a connection then I'd say let 'em go for it. EVEN IF you came to me writing Keiko and you're worried about shipping with me cause you'd think it's forced and i'm obligated to because of the canon then don't. It'd still be cool in my book.

ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

I'm not ship obsessed but I would say it's a fun thing to have cause when you're talkin' to your homies and the muses come u you can talk about the ship, or how a song reminds you of them. Shipping whether it's romantically, platonically or familial, they bring us together as writers and we because better pals cause of it. Cause there's always something to talk about when we wanna forget about that bill we can't pay.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

Let me tell you something about my fandom on tumblr: It hardly exists XDD there's really only a handful of us.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

Simple, we write. If there's chemistry between the muses well then your muse has got themselves a partner. He's by no means an easy person to love but once you've got him you've got someone that'll be there for your muse indefinitely. And if ya wanna discuss the possibility then my DMs are always open..even if i'm terribly slow with 'em.

tagged: @vartouhix

tagging: Y'all gonna have to steal this one homies. Tag me when ya do cause imma read it.

[allofthebeanz]

Hi! I saw your post about due South and gender, and I'm so interested in what you had to say, and it definitely got me thinking, and I'm so sorry for the wall of text.

I'm most interested in Fraser's experience of gender, because imo he's a character archetype that female characters aren't often portrayed as (knight errant, duty and responsibility as a mask for real feelings and decisions, etc). Like, Fraser's loneliness and sense of alienation even from other RCMP- Were there many other women in her trainee class? Did male colleagues feel threatened by a stubborn, intelligent, and near-supernaturally talented woman, and if so, how was that expressed? How would Thatcher and Fraser's relationship change? Would Bob Fraser have been supportive of his daughter being a Mountie, or would there always be a sense of comparing her to a son that didn't even exist, however unintentionally?

Even things like Fraser's apartment in seasons 1 and 2. How would Ray V (of any gender really), react to a single woman in a strange city (even a single woman with a half-wolf and enormous capacity to take care of herself) insisting on living in a terrible apartment in a bad part of town? Fraser would have bewildered, infuriated, and endeared herself to Ray V from day 1, and it could be interesting to see how Ray V's notions about women change when he's presented with Fraser's complete inability to be anyone but herself.

I already love the "Victoria's" secret arc, and I think it could be just as compelling with a queer element entangled with Fraser's loneliness,not to mention potentially having to hide the real nature of her relationship with Victoria for a number of reasons.

Again, I apologize for the rambling, and I would love to hear any other thoughts you have on the Rays and Fraser and gender.

Never apologize for rambling, this is fantastic!!!

I always pictured Fraser as a woman trying desperately to even be acknowledged by her father or her peers. You know, it's always brought up by Bob and everyone who knows him how she's just like her father - except she's a woman. Like her being a woman downplays all of her achievements (I recall Thatcher mentioning this in the show). Marginalized groups so often get thrust into a position where they can't be anything less than perfect, and I think in Fraser's case that would be taken to the max. Like, you want your dad to notice you because even if you did everything right he still won't take you camping since you're a girl. You go above and beyond expectations in your class, and no one takes you seriously because most people are objectifying you. (Oh, and don't get me started on how Fraser still faces sexual harassment but now it'd be from men. Oof.) I can see Fraser really upsetting the men at the police station/RCMP because of her solve-rate. Like, can you imagine a bunch of male cops, in the 90s, getting out shined by a lady? They'd have a fit over that. Dewey specifically comes to mind when he said he could beat Lady Shoes in poker because she's a woman. But I also think Fraser would keep that 'innocent mountie' shtick to protect herself, though she's not above using sexism to her advantage (I'm thinking Ms Fraser going 'you wouldn't hit a woman would you'). At the end of the day, Fraser is still very much JUSTICE and the COMMON GOOD above all else, even ignoring her inner yearning to have recognition for her achievements (and yes, love, Fraser would still be incredibly lonely). I think that gives the conversation in the Vault a different weight. And Fraser would absolutely do hair flips.

Okay, so I think if we go with Vecchio being a woman rather than a man, their relationship would have this envy about it. Since Fraser literally acts like she gives zero fucks about doing anything (she lives in an apartment in a sketchy place by herself, ignores the jabs of male coworkers, etc.), I feel like Vecchio would want what she has and be even more annoyed when Fraser gets all the attention in Red, White, or Blue since she'd be undermined and harassed as a female cop in Chicago. God, we all know that Vecchio isn't the best at his job, but instead of being seen as a buffoon can you imagine how they'd berate her as a woman? How she'd have to represent her entire gender, especially coming from a traditional Italian family? Not to mention if we switch it so she's the sole/eldest daughter in the Vecchio family, the societal pressure of that is immaculate. Though, I do imagine her to keep Vecchio being the most emotionally mature (or at least expressive) out of the three leads. She'd be wanting to talk about stuff and Fraser'd be throwing herself out windows more than ever.

Now, Kowalski, oh boy. In the my head she's not changing anything about her style - this woman is 100% butch. Personally, I read canon Kowalski as someone who got bullied in school (I mean, in the 70s he had glasses, had a best friend that was a girl, small, had less money than his peers, and has shit self-esteem. I can't see that he wasn't bullied) and he created this super tough 'loose cannon' persona to fight back (I also read Fraser and Kowalski as definitely queer, with Vecchio being a more grey area but anyways that would make sense for Kowalski's overly butch persona as well). Kowalski as a woman is no different, but now you got an extra layer to that because women aren't taken seriously in law enforcement. A guy calls her 'sweetheart', dude you better fucking run. Guys probably tell her to smile and she punches their teeth out. She's still a whirlwind of emotions but now she isn't seen as 'scary' because she's a woman. And as a butch woman, she's probably seen as a 'freak' and bullied at her job. Probably also a factor to why she goes undercover so much, at least she can get away from the people at the precinct more. And I would switch her name to Stella Rachel Kawolski and her husband Stanley Kowalski (because I think that'd be even weirder for a dad to name his daughter that???).

Now a f/f Victoria/Fraser has some terrible implications into stereotypes of lesbian relationships. You know, the 'Mean Lesbian' as it were, and maybe that would reinforce Fraser's not only fear of love, but her fear of queerness. So, I think Kowalski coming along and being openly gender nonconforming and developing a friendship/relationship with her would be incredibly healing for Fraser. I also feel like Fraser would still be drawn to Kowalski's vulnerability since she was taught never to show emotion other than happiness as a woman. And she's be drawn to Vecchio for not being afraid to complain constantly. When that woman is mildly inconvenienced, she'll let you know. And I think both Rays would really be enamoured by Fraser by all the same qualities in canon, but even more so as she demonstrates you can be badass and a kind person (something hollywood really needs to learn with their female characters already).

I see Fraser and Thatcher at first having a competitive relationship but one sided on Thatcher's part (internalized misogyny) but then in We are the Eggmen she realizes how stupid that is and they have a healthy working relationship :)

Thank you so much for this ask, I had so much fun writing it! Feel free to drop by any time!

[dothwrites]

funeralia remains one of my favorite episodes for several reasons. one of which is that rowena flirts with cas who has a polite gay panic at the thought of being flirted with by an attractive woman. (but you can tell that he's definitely pleased by the attention) cas' "you NEVER go to parties" to sam is funny because it either implies that he definitely DOES go to parties and is shaming sam for not doing the same. or cas just DOESN'T go to parties and is STILL shaming sam for not going to parties. either way, it's cas being a bitch to sam, which is my favorite thing in the world

and then rowena's dance scene! ruth is KILLING IT and i love the idea that rowena just has her muscle boy to travel everywhere with her

"i'm gonna get a beer. you want a beer" "no" "i'll get beer" and then he gets cas a beer. and cas DRINKS the beer. peak husband behavior. i will never cease loving them. dean's "just don't get dead again" sounds (and comes off) like a very brusque dismissal but it reveals his VERY REAL fear that cas is going to die. the widower arc lives on because cas has never been that very obviously dead before. dean's still a little traumatized from it and he continuously implores cas not to do anything stupid etc. and to cas it sounds like dean just doesn't trust him or thinks less of him, but it's dean's way of pleading with him: don't die. i can't do that again

i love jessica the reaper. she's so perky!

dean is so proud of his shelf in death's library. and he should be! he's the specialest boy!

I love this conversation between naomi and cas. they're SO passive aggressive. well. cas is aggressive. naomi is just that horrible mother who is NEVER going to give you the validation that you want. naomi calmly nodding while cas lists out her crimes is PEAK BITCH behavior and i love her for it. "i'm sorry goes a long way" and then naomi just nods. UNREPENTANT QUEEN i love you for your many war crimes. they really did drop the "heaven is powering down" storyline didn't they? i think they mention it a handful of times in s14, but then... nothing! they sent dean winchester to a heaven that's powering down!

rowena's redemption arc was handled pretty well. she goes from completely chaotic evil to chaotic good and it's believable every step of the way. this scene, where rowena acknowledges that she was never going to kill sam and that she's changed... I JUST REALLY LOVE ROWENA OKAY

i'm fairly ambivalent on billie as a character (though i do LOVE her as death) but lisa absolutely KILLS this scene. she somehow manages to perfectly combine compassion with brutality and the end result is GORGEOUS. "sometimes life is unfair" and everything that follows is a masterful treatise on the nature of grief and how to deal with it and it came from thee supernatural. supernatural is a SHOW! "everything ends" otherwise known as the thesis for this show

THIS EPISODE! THIS EPISODE!

[gra-sonas]

A new episode of Roswell New Mexico titled “Missing My Baby” airs tonight (August 1) at 8PM ET/PT on The CW, and to promote this week’s episode, we were able to speak with actress Rekha Sharma who plays Dr. Shivani Sen in the current season. Sharma is no stranger to TV audiences, especially fans of genre television, having been seen on such series as Smallville, Supernatural, Star Trek: Discovery, Battlestar Galactica, V, and The 100; she was also recently seen on Showtime’s Yellowjackets and is in the upcoming series The Imperfects.

“Missing My Baby” aims to be a big one for her character of Shivani and you can read our interview below.

KSITETV’S CRAIG BYRNE: Would you say that tonight’s episode of Roswell New Mexico is where Shivani is finally out with it about why she is in Roswell working with Liz?

REKHA SHARMA: It does seem like she’s much more open, and certainly, it has the most exciting moments that we’ve had so far, in terms of making this discovery and acquiring this technology.

How much of Shivani’s story arc was laid out for you when you signed on?

REKHA SHARMA: I had a really rough sketch of the whole thing, and I was looking forward to seeing the specifics on how it unfolded as we went along. These scripts are so fun.

Is it rewarding as an actor to play a role that can see through other people’s BS?

REKHA SHARMA: She does! She really looks, and listens, and sees where people are coming from, I think.

You’ve been in so many acclaimed TV programs. What made this show and this character special for you?

REKHA SHARMA: There was something about it that just leapt off the page for me when I got the audition. This woman is so full of life. She felt like a female Tony Stark to me, with all the money and the intelligence and the desire to help forward humanity by working with incredibly intelligent people. And she’s just got a drive to her and a wit. That’s really fun. I hope that all comes across.

For those unfamiliar with Shivani, what has she done in the current season of Roswell New Mexico so far?

REKHA SHARMA: She has made an alliance with Liz that was not welcome at first, but she has through her sincerity and her ability to listen, and her warmth and kindness, been able to forge a real connection and some trust, even though she’s doing some strange things and riling people up a little bit.

How frustrating is it for her that with all of her money and connections, there are certain things that she cannot save?

REKHA SHARMA: Absolutely heartbreaking. I think it’s part of her wisdom and her intelligence, but it’s her blind spot all at once if that makes any sense. That’s life. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, there are things you can’t change, and certainly not with money. You might be able to change more with other things.

How far would she go to save her daughter?

REKHA SHARMA: I think she’s willing to go further than she even knows.

Would she possibly put the aliens in danger to save her?

REKHA SHARMA: I think she has a true enough heart that she would never choose anything like that on purpose. But in her heartache, grief is intense… the possibility of losing somebody you love is absolutely blinding, and I think she might miss some things.

What was it like to film in New Mexico?

REKHA SHARMA: I loved it. It was challenging with the elevation and the lack of humidity, so climate-wise, it was quite an adjustment coming from Vancouver. The people in the town of Santa Fe are so lovely. I did a lot of hiking; the nature there is gorgeous, and I’m definitely a nature-oriented person. The crews on this show, and the cast… everyone was just such a breath of fresh air. Really authentic, warm people. It was a really special time.

Will we see Shivani’s wife again before the series is over?

REKHA SHARMA: You’ll have to wait and see!

[waywardsummoner46]

(Un)Pleasantville

A/N: Second one shot, yay! Definitely toying with expanding this as well as my Lucifer!Sam and Michael!Dean fic. I’m open to requests and let me know if you want to be added to my tag list (never had one before, oo this is exciting). As ever enjoy the fic and let me know what you think!

Word count ~ 1620

______________________________________________________________

Alright so, not to sugar coat anything but this was an absolute nightmare.

  You, Sam and Castiel had gotten word of a hunt - well more Sam but that’s besides the point - and had left yesterday. You’d paused at a gas station outside of a place called Charming Acres but the dude at the counter said something was off about the place… so naturally (or supernaturally) you all went to check it out. And a dude’s head just completely blew up out of the blue after he came in for his phone?

  Pulling into the town itself, now that was something. You felt as though you’d walked into a 1950s sitcom about some cheesy, lovesick marriage story. Something that you’d like to stay well away from. Consequently, you met a cheesy, lovesick couple called Justin and Cindy Smith who said they’d heard absolute zilch about any deaths and “this is a very close-knit community, nothing goes on here without everyone knowing” blah blah blah.

  Anyway, the strangest thing for you wasn’t the clothes, nor was it the 1950s behaviour, no, it was the fact Justin didn’t seem to recognise what a phone was. You silently ogled at him but he paid no attention to you. So now you definitely thought something was off about this place. 

  After that fateful encounter, you all stumbled upon the local diner “Harrington’s” who was run by the Mayor Chip Harrington and his daughter Sunny. You thought Sunny was a very sweet young woman who honestly looked like someone you’d get along with, however you noticed her head perked up once conversation about Conrad (watermelon head guy) started. Castiel so delicately stated, “Oh no! His head exploded” rendering everyone in the diner speechless.

  The Mayor stuttered for a moment then questioned “Excuse me?”

  “Like a ripe melon in the sun.”

  Whilst this confrontation was happening, Sunny gave you and Sam milkshakes, as Cas had refused earlier, so you were busy trying not to spit it out as you found that conversation hilarious. Chippy boy gave you the information where Conrad was last seen and then you all took off but not before Sam abruptly said “Alright, you know what? We’re leaving, bye.” And that was that.

  When you’d all arrived at the boarding house, a too cheerful Ms. Dowling greeted you at the door, and creepily said she knew you were coming because it’s a small town and things travel fast. Honestly, what is it with these people? From there, and after a brief explanation on why you all were there, she showed you to Conrad’s room and said he moved in a few weeks ago.

  Being your observant self, you came to the conclusion that the bed had been barely used but there were passionate and just plain disgusting letters under the mattress addressed from Sunny (so maybe she wasn’t so innocent, neither were you).

   At the same time Sam suggested you all stay overnight and divulge and investigate more thoroughly in the morning and yet his almost desperate tone of voice put you on edge. Obviously, you were all tired and weary but Sam was just on a whole new level of “oh this is amazing, we should stay here because it’s so cool”. So reluctantly, you and Cas agreed but not before exchanging an uncertain glance with each other, the intuition of a teenager and an angel right?

  Sam and you were sharing a room since Cas had insisted on his own, and instantly something changed with how he addressed you. “(Y/N), please take your shoes off, you’ll ruin this lovely carpet,” and “(Y/N), sweetheart, don’t you think wearing something a little more lady-like would be more appropriate, hm?” 

 All you could do what was sit and stare because not once had Sam ever been this pedantic or pathetic and he certainly had never called you “sweetheart”, so too baffled to engage in intelligent conversation, you went to bed just after Sam as you were too busy burning incredulous holes into the back if his hairy head. Struggling to grasp sleep, you softly whispered a “What the fuck?” and thank god Sam didn’t hear you because you would’ve absolutely hated the outcome.

  The next morning you were woken up quite rudely by an angel banging on your door. Blearily you struggled out of bed and opened the door, rubbing your eyes. “What time is it?” You said.

 “Time to get up, get dressed and Sam-Sam?”

 Noting Castiel’s confusion, you turned quickly in what was once Sam’s direction only to find your lovable older brother had disappeared to Chuck knows where. Great, man hunt at ridiculous o’clock in the morning. Cas immediately raced down to the stairs to seemingly find Ms. Dowling leaving you rushing to change into something more appropriate that pyjamas.

 Descending the stairs you notice the front door open and a frantic looking Castiel waiting in the Impala, waving for you to get in. Shouting a quick “thank you!” to Ms. Dowling, you sprant for the car and sat in Sam’s seat.

 Castiel started the car and you asked “So? We know where he went?” 

  “I’ve been told he left this morning saying he was going on a walk to the diner and wanted a milkshake, but only after screaming at Ms. Dowling who had her eardrums blocked with ear plugs,” he said. You nodded, absorbing the information and pondered why Sam would just up and leave for a milkshake.

  “Cas, you don’t think that there’s something wrong with the milkshake? Or like, this town in general? Because I do and Sam was being a real overbearing douchebag after you left yesterday and acting completely out of character.”

 He didn’t hesitate to nod his head, “I must admit, the strange customs have piqued my interest and Sam did drink quite a lot of that milkshake yesterday so it might be a possibility that there is a supernatural force going on here.”

  He looked like he wanted to say more, but you’d turned a corner and arrived just before the diner. Castiel left the car and went to inspect whilst you decided a smart move would be to ring Sam’s phone… only to find it ringing in the back of the car. Typical frustrating Winchester. 

  Placing your hands on your head, you massaged your temples and tried to think of any reasonable explanation as to what on earth was going on. 

 You heard the driver’s door being opened and looked over to see Castiel already turning the keys in the ignition. “He’s gone to Mr and Mrs. Smith's house,” was the only explanation you received.

  Suddenly determined, you nodded and said, “Alright, we’re getting somewhere, onward!” So, the car started and picked up speed, as you made your way to the Smith’s house you took a chance to observe the area a bit more.

  It was definitely something outdated and old-fashioned but the people did look happy, even if the shops were called something despicable like “The Rainbow Restaurant". It was very bright and colourful and you didn’t doubt that even if a thunderstorm hit, these people would still be acting on top of the world.

  Upon finally reaching your destination, you took notice of the white-picket fence and the massive garden. The house was huge and definitely unnecessary for only two people. Regardless, you and Cas sauntered up to the door and knocked three times respectively. On the third Cindy opened the door with a clear smile on her face and a very pleasant scent of lavender perfume. “Hello, can I help you?”

 You and Cas glanced at each other before he answered, “First of all, I’d like to offer my condolences for your husband's death but we really need to know-”

  He was cut off by a very confused Cindy Smith who said, “My husband? Honey, I think you might be mistaken. My darling husband is in the kitchen, fetching his newspaper. Justin, dear, come say hello!” 

 Again, Cas looked like he wanted to continue but a very familiar, moose-like voice interrupted “Coming darling! Won’t take two slices  of a carrot cake!” It was, unmistakably, Sam.  You gaped and stared questioningly at Cas in silent question. He merely returned your look.

  Moments later, Sam appeared in the doorway. Wearing a pair of glasses. A ponytail. And a fucking cardigan. A cardigan, because why the hell not? He wrapped his hands around Cindy’s waist and looked at us in confusion. Or sorry, at Cas in confusion, but when his gaze landed on you his face went more stern. 

 “Young lady, do you not remember what I said about un lady-like clothing? Because those denim jeans and that ridiculous jumper are hardly suitable for my daughter, little miss. I suggest you get in this house right now and put on that lovely dress your mother bought you,” he basically seethed.

  Now you were definitely the equivalent of a fish, with your wide mouth and wide eyes. You managed to compose yourself a bit before stuttering “Sam?”

 His eye twitched and there was no warning before he grabbed your arm and pulled you in the house then promptly dragged you into the sitting area. He guided you to the sofa on the left of the fireplace and very softly explained, “My sweet honey, I know that this is hard for you, but your mother and I want what’s best for you. Now, be a good girl and wait here until your mother and I have finished our pleasant conversation with our new neighbour, hm?” Then he planted a kiss on your forehead and returned to Cindy’s side to continue conversing with Cas.

  All you could think was: what the fuck?

[troquantary]

Cutting Hair as Punishment in the Twilight Saga

Okay, I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts around this into a sort-of-essay format for a while, because I find it disturbingly mean-spirited: Meyer has a pattern of using hair-cutting as a form of punishment for characters, especially female characters, who fail to embrace Bella and the Cullens with open arms. I’m talking particularly about Leah and Lauren, both of whom, while not outright antagonists like Victoria or James, are situated along with Rosalie as “against” Bella throughout the series. The Quileute pack, meanwhile, is situated largely “against” the Cullens, meaning Jacob and the rest of the pack get the Haircut of Shame, too.

(Also, I’ve been creeping through @panlight ‘s blog because I thought she had a recent post relating to this -- I was probably thinking of this submission and her addendum, which does discuss Meyer’s “punishment” of certain characters, but that post was about characters suffering for not waiting for True Love, or daring to do the Devil’s Tango before marriage. Still, it’s on-theme and very much worth reading, like all her stuff!)

So here’s the general outline: first I’m gonna talk about the shapeshifters and how their overall lack of choice frames cutting their hair as something forced on them and therefore punitive. Then I’m going to discuss Meyer’s FAQ response where she reveals that Lauren was tricked into cutting off most of her hair over the summer before New Moon, and how this adds an extra fun misogynistic element to the hair-cutting theme with respect to Lauren and Leah. I also use way too many words to do it, sorry.

Punishment | The Shapeshifters Are Given No Other Option

I don’t have the background or knowledge to discuss the significance of long hair to indigenous culture and identity in detail, and my understanding is that different tribes ascribe different meanings to it. What I’ve read it about it suggests that, generally, long hair represents strength of one’s individual spirit and of the community. It’s a source of pride, and is only cut off voluntarily in extraordinary circumstances, often as an expression of grief, or to mark a significant life change.

This sort of works in the context of the shapeshifters all cutting their hair -- phasing into a giant wolf, discovering the existence of the supernatural, and assuming the role of protectors is a major life event for these characters. But the negative associations make it a troubling choice on Meyer’s part, and that’s without even getting into the problem of her imposing her own worldbuilding onto the legends and culture of a real tribe. Because of the lack of choice involved in becoming a shapeshifter, the whole situation feels like a scenario in which the Quileute characters have their hair forcibly cut -- a degrading and traumatic act that (depending on their particular tribal belief) might symbolically sever them from their sense of cultural identity and connection with the rest of their tribe.

It all kind of begs the question: why does Meyer even have shapeshifting work this way? What narrative utility is there in having the length of their hair in human form determine the length of their fur as wolves, thereby compelling the shapeshifters to cut it so it isn’t a physical impediment? It’s another sign of the changes in Jacob, sure, but he’s already being uncharacteristically cold and distant, plus suddenly has the physique of a fit twenty-five-year-old; Bella already knows something’s very wrong. His short hair is just another jarring thing for Bella to notice and mourn, like the loss of Jacob’s “baby face” and general sunniness.

It does work as a symbolic thing, representing another sacrifice Jacob has to make and the change in how he now has to perceive himself -- but he’s already got a literal giant wolf form to represent that change in identity/self-perception. Forcing him to cut his hair too just feels like piling on. My argument here, which I hope will be supported when I discuss Lauren and Leah further in, is that it’s not just piling on, but actively punitive -- because much like Leah and Lauren are “against” Bella, the pack at large is “against” the Cullens pretty much through the end of the series.

The Quileute pack is definitely not a Cullen fanclub. The entire purpose of their existence is to destroy vampires, and the truce they have with the Cullens isn’t friendly. They still don’t particularly like or trust the Cullens even after allying with them in Eclipse, and in Breaking Dawn Sam is fully prepared to go to war against them to enforce the treaty. Bella expresses frustration with Jacob and the pack for not appreciating the Cullens more, yet is curiously less willing to scold Alice, Edward, or Rosalie when they call the Quileutes dogs and complain about their smell. (I think she might reprimand Edward for it at some point, but I don’t remember the exact passage.) Bella even starts throwing around “dog” and “mutt” as an insult herself -- I think we know whose side ol’ “Switzerland” is on, here, and whose side Meyer is on as well. The Quileutes aren’t exactly enemies, and in fact are crucial to the Cullens’ survival in both the newborn and Volutri conflicts, but they’re punished nonetheless because they aren’t wholeheartedly Team Cullen from the get-go.

So to explain why I’m so convinced that there’s a link between hair-cutting and punishment in particular, let’s talk about Lauren. There’s a definite gendered element to it this time, too -- by being tricked into cutting her hair, Lauren isn’t just diminished/shamed, but rendered (*thunderclap*) unfeminine.

Lauren Was Rude To Bella Like Twice, Let’s Humiliate Her

I think Meyer’s answer to the question “What happened to Lauren’s hair?” on her FAQ page speaks for itself:

Ha ha. I had fun imagining this one—I only wished that it had fit into the book somewhere. Lauren fell victim to the “model discovered in the mall” scam. An alleged modeling agent approached Lauren in a mall in Victoria, B.C., and told her she was a natural model. Lauren ate it up. The agent told her that if she did something edgy with her hair, and took some high quality head shots, her future was assured. Lauren followed the instructions—dropping fifteen grand on the pictures taken by the agent’s partner—and waited for her career to begin. She’s still waiting. Snort.

It’s pretty obvious that this was done spitefully. Here’s the list of Lauren’s crimes against humanity Bella at this point in the series: 1) she was jealous of the attention Bella was getting as the new girl; 2) she talked behind Bella’s back once, saying Bella might as well just sit with the Cullens now (and she isn’t wrong); 3) she eyed Bella “scornfully” the day of the La Push beach trip; and perhaps most damningly, 4) she’s blonde.

Post-haircut, she has the gall not to be thrilled that Bella’s deigning to speak to the lowly non-Cullens again, then sides with Jessica after Bella uses Jessica to make a point to her dad, is shitty company, and then risks getting them both raped and murdered in Port Angeles so she could get off on her hallucination of Edward’s voice.

I think it’s pretty common knowledge that long hair is tied to patriarchal notions of femininity and attractiveness. Women with short hair are still derided for being ugly, or assumed to be lesbians in a derogatory sense, or simply considered less feminine and therefore less desirable/worthy (because a woman’s worth depends on her desirability, after all). For many women and girls, losing their long hair -- whether because of illness, or gum getting stuck in it, or whatever -- is very upsetting and a hard blow to their self-esteem. Just look at Alice as an example of Traumatic Short Hair; her hair was shorn like that because she received electroshock “treatments” in an asylum. (Although in Alice’s case, I don’t think her having short hair is punishment, but a facet of the traumatic backstory all female characters in Twilight have to have for some reason. Plus, she started the series with short hair, which distinguishes her from the pack and Lauren, who were tricked or compelled into cutting their long hair during the series.)

But Lauren’s so bitchy, so she deserves it, right? Ha ha, she was mean to Bella and cared about her appearance too much, so now she’s ~ugly!

Leah Has It the Worst and It Makes Me Want To Burn Everything

The misogynistic aspect of hair-cutting as punishment is taken up to like, twelve with Leah. Not only does she suffer for being “against” the Cullens along with the rest of the pack (and Bella, too, so extra sinning), but she suffers uniquely for being the only female shapeshifter. A bunch of teenage boys regularly see her naked body against her will. Her previously devoted boyfriend imprints on her cousin/best friend, Sam dumps her and can’t even explain why, and the whole pack -- including her own brother -- resents her for being upset about it, even though she can’t help the lack of mental privacy. Because of that same lack of mental privacy, she has to hear every gripe the boys have about her, plus every enthralled thought Sam has about Emily while she’s still deeply wounded by their breakup.

She blames herself for her dad’s death, because she phased at the wrong time. We don’t get any indication that her fellow shapeshifters or the elders are trying to reassure her otherwise.

And of course, because she’s a shapeshifter, she has to cut her hair. In addition, because Leah’s a woman, this has the same misogynistic connotations as it did with Lauren. In Leah’s case, though, the de-feminization is compounded by her sudden infertility. It’s clear that Leah attaches her sense of womanhood to her fertility, rightly or wrongly -- she bitterly calls herself a “genetic dead end” in Breaking Dawn and thinks of herself as a freak. She feels like there must be something wrong with her, some un-womanly flaw, that made her one of the shapeshifters at all.

Then, just when Jacob starts to see her as a human being worthy of compassion, he imprints on Renesmee and doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything else anymore. No more bonding with Leah, no blooming friendship to help her heal and come to terms with the new realities of her life. (This is one of those dropped threads that aggravate me to no end -- what was the point of having Leah opening up to Jacob, or starting Jacob on the path of realizing he was being a dick to her this whole time and that she’s a person with  value, if he was just going to spend the rest of the book as Renesmee’s love-zombie and never think about it again? Disgusting.)

Leah was a lot more forgiving of Jacob than he deserved at that point in the story, for all the good it did her -- I think she’s mentioned maybe once in Book 3 of Breaking Dawn. At least she got her god-tier moment of yelling at a deranged, pregnant Bella Swan.

Speaking of Bella...

I’m just going to note, for no particular reason, that in Breaking Dawn we get to hear explicitly that Bella’s got hair that falls “almost to her waist” and that she looks like “a freaking supermodel” because she’s so “beautiful and pale.” It just strikes me as a telling contrast at this point.

[pascalpanic]

Benny’s Girl (Prequel to Before The Next Teardrop Falls)

Inspo: Jessie’s Girl by Rick Springfield

Pairings: Benny Miller x f!Reader, later Frankie Morales x f!Reader (in Before The Next Teardrop Falls)

Summary: Benny’s new girlfriend is everything Catfish wants and more. Too bad it’s his best friend’s girl.

W/C: <4k

Warnings: language, sexual content, pining ohhh my word pining. 

A/N: HI FRIENDS <3 I absolutely loved Before The Next Teardrop Falls and I LOVE writing pining, especially with my Frankie baby, so I decided to make a prequel to it! This fic is based on Jessie’s Girl by Rick Springfield, which I absolutely ADORE. you can read this as a stand alone or you can read it as a prequel, I think either one works well!!

Sometimes, a spark seems to appear where one never existed. It’s common enough; it’s the reason most relationships fizzle out before they can become something explosive and fiery. One thinks that the dynamite is going to explode and take off in a bright shower of colors, when in reality the lighter never truly lit the wick.

That’s what happened between you and Benny Miller. You’d loved the guy, really, but not in the way you thought. You still do. It’s just that the both of you were lonely people seeking something more than your past had given you. The two of you were hopeless romantics. Maybe that’s what started the relationship.

You’d met in a way typical for the younger Miller brother. You’d been at a bar with some friends who were desperate to get you laid. The same could be said for Benny, who was there not with his brothers-in-arms but the man he’d defeated in the ring that night. Nick and Benny were good enough friends, close enough that losing to the other was rarely a sore spot. 

He’d spotted you across the bar, thought your laughing face was beautiful and your smile as you locked him was magnetic, drawing him to you before he could stop himself. Natural attraction. You introduced yourself. He told you his name was Benny. You asked why his hands were taped, he explained that he was a professional fighter, you’d made some snarky joke and you ended up talking for the rest of the night. One of your friends left with Nick. You and Benny stayed until the bartender shouted that it was the last call. You wrote your number on his taped palm and he saved it. 

You went on two bar dates before he decided he needed to introduce you to his best friends. They were like brothers to him, they knew everything about him and he knew them inside and out. You went to the same bar as you’d met at, and you met the men he’d served with in his Special Ops days.

Santiago, known as Pope for some godforsaken reason, was a charmer. He’d kissed your hand after shaking it, complimenting you and making small talk, finding connections and building on them. You’d laughed at the man’s joking advances, and flirted right back. Benny squirmed lightly, but you kissed his cheek and assured him you were just playing along.

William, Will, Ironhead, was Benny’s older brother. He’d given you a warm clap on the back and shook your hand, telling you that you were brave for putting up with the rascally guy. You had to admit, it was fitting. It was clear that they’re brothers: they had the same furrow to their brow, their blue eyes widened in reaction to anything, they had a similar habit of tipping their head back to laugh when something was especially funny. 

Frankie Morales, Catfish, was the last one you met and most definitely your favorite. He was quieter than the other guys, sat back while the other men made the noise. He was the punching bag, taking the brunt of the hyperbolized jokes- how Catfish hadn’t slept with a woman in 10 years, how he was the loud one of the group, how he was the one you had to look out for when he was drunk. You knew none of them could be true. He had a sweet smile and gave you a nod when you introduced yourself. He and Pope had some kind of banter between the two of them, albeit a banter you couldn’t understand as someone who didn’t speak Spanish. 

Throughout the night, you found yourself more drawn to Frankie. He had a beautiful laugh, would pull his ball cap down a little lower when someone made a joke about him. He was the one who’d expose a lie Benny or Santiago took. He nursed one beer while the other men got rowdy, and you’d done the same. It seemed that the two of you found kindred spirits in each other over the course of the night, while Benny and Will and Santi smacked each other around and took an obnoxious amount of trips to the bathroom.

When it was time to head out, you’d hugged each of the men goodbye. It was already clear that you fit in just like one of them, even if you didn’t have the past experience that bonded the men. You hugged Frankie last. He was the best hugger; he wasn’t ridiculously ripped like Benny, firm and awkward like Will, or flirtatious like Santiago. He was strong but soft. The man was definitely a hugger, you could tell, and it was comforting for the brief moment or two you were in his arms. 

Frankie put his cap on your head teasingly, covering your eyes, then stole it back and gave you a pat on the back. “Ben’s a wild one. Good luck with him,” he teased and walked off. You had to admit, his ass had a nice curve to it as he walked off to his beat-up truck. “Call me if he does anything stupid and I’ll beat his ass for you,” he called over his shoulder, prompting Benny to flip him off and put an arm around you. He simply laughed and got in his car.

-

Frankie became your favorite of the group. The two of you are the ones teasing each other exclusively and sitting quietly while the other men get crazy. Frankie tries sips of the cocktails you order, excitedly making grabby hands when the bartender sets it down. He always lets you steal some of the food he orders when you’re at the bar longer than normal. He shares your affinity for classic rock and when the bar blasts AC/DC, it’s Frankie who screams the lyrics to Thunderstruck with you while the others cover their ears. Santiago joins in sometimes too, but the country-loving Miller brothers never quite know all of the words like Catfish does. 

At some point in the few month relationship, you earn your nickname of Queenie. It’s from teasing Santiago, and the one who bestows the title upon you is Will, the most stoic of the group. It’s an honor, you tell them all, laughing. You call the shots, and everyone follows. Even though Benny is your lover, Frankie is your second-in-command.

When Frankie does allow himself to get drunk, he’s the most fun of the group. He’s extra lovey, telling the men how much he appreciates them. He tells stories the other men won’t about their Special Ops days, about the stupid things Will did when they were abroad. He’s shamelessly goofy and funny and falls all over the men. You even convince him to do karaoke with you once.

Benny is an overgrown class clown, but he won’t do karaoke, no matter how hard you begged him, called him baby and pressed soft kisses to his face. He wouldn’t budge. Tonight was a rare night that Frankie drank more than one round. “I’ll do it!” He shouts excitedly, eyes lighting up. “Ooh, c’mon, it’ll be fun. We’ll be so good at it.”

You, unfortunately, were not good at it, but you had the time of your life with Frankie. On that barely-raised platform, the two of you sang Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart, completely out of tune and out of sync. You were giggling the whole time, especially at Frankie’s falsetto on the little “woo-hoo”s. 

The two of you tumbled back to the table after, you giggling and falling into Benny’s arms. “Did you like it?” You cooed, sitting on his lap.

Benny laughed genuinely, pressing a kiss to your face. “Sure did. That was fantastic. Maybe you’ll have to sing just for me sometime, huh?” He teases.

Frankie sits alone on his barstool at the end and downs the rest of his beer. He flashes you a quick smile when your eyes meet his and he retires early for the night.

-

You and Benny had sex a couple of times. He was good at it, good enough. You enjoyed the way his lips moulded to yours, the way his thrusts were quick and fast and properly angled. From a technical standpoint, he should’ve been perfect. It was all you wanted, but there was no real connection behind it. The moans that trailed from your lips were small and soft, and the louder ones were never genuine. He always made you orgasm, at least, but it was slow and dull, the kind you’d wring from yourself with just two fingers.

The two of you had fun together. You went to the county fair, you got boisterous and drunk at bars, you did everything two twentysomethings are expected to do in a relationship. After every date, you had a small sad smile on your face as you got in your bed and distracted yourself with something on your phone. Something about it wasn’t right: you didn’t connect soulfully, in some mystical and spiritual way where one can read the other’s mind, in the way that movies and books and legendary romances felt some kind of supernatural force that pulled the strings and led them closer. It wasn’t what you needed, but it was what you wanted, and so you hung on a little longer.

Benny felt the same, but he was too afraid to disrupt the balance. He’d rather be mediocrely happy than alone again. He liked having a girl to squeeze water into his mouth and wipe his sweat after a fight, someone to slide his dick into while her lips met his skin. He didn’t want to lose that, even if he was slowly realizing that he just wanted a friendship with you.

You hung out with him and the other men more. You realized that he wasn’t your boyfriend around them, more of a sibling, teasing and nudging. There was no affection, no romance, just the playful aspect of him. That was fine, you told yourself, until you realized that it wasn’t, it couldn’t be.

-

By principle, Frankie is not and refuses to be a jealous man. That changed when you came into the picture. 

Something about you is absolutely magnetic to him, more than the way Benny was drawn to you across the bar. Sure, he’s been attracted to many girls, but he wants you. He yearns for you. He makes a joke at the table and it doesn’t make anyone but you laugh, but he doesn’t give a shit that Benny and Will and Santiago don’t find it funny, because he gets to watch the way your eyes glimmer and your mouth falls open and your chest heaves with the beautiful ring of your laughter.  

He loves that you hug goodbye, because he gets to pretend for a moment that you’re his and he is yours, that he can press his lips to your soft skin and call you his girl. But you’re Benny’s girl, and he’s okay to live like that. He’d rather have you as a friend than not have you at all. Even if he dreams about you at night, even if you live in his head on repeat, saying his name. Frankie, baby, I want you, I want you…

One night, in his sleep, the sound of those words echoed through his head. He’s never heard you say them, but his unconscious brain assembled them like a beautifully haunting jigsaw puzzle that made all of his blood run south. 

Dream-you is standing in the doorway to his bedroom, wearing just his t-shirt. Dream-you smirks, walks closer, climbs over Frankie and presses her lips to his and her tongue delves into his mouth. She lies down onto him and grinds her hips to his and laughs and laughs and he presses his face into the curve of her- your- neck, smelling your perfume and grinding his hips back against dream-you’s. “All I want is you, Frankie,” dream-you mumbles and bites his lower lip. He shivers and dream-you coos his name, lines herself over his aching member and just before she slides down, he wakes up to a dark and lonely bedroom with a half-hard dick. 

You and Benny joined the gang the next night out. He couldn’t meet your eyes. He listened as you fussed over Benny, heard you call him baby and steal his beer with a giggle. 

“What the fuck has gotten into you, Fish?” Santiago asked when you’re in the bathroom. 

Frankie shook his head. He pulled his cap lower and finished his beer, then poured another from the pitcher on the bar. “Slept like shit last night.”

-

You’ve decided that it needs to end, so you asked Benny to meet him at your favorite bar. He agreed, and wanted to invite the boys, until you asked that it be just the two of you. It hurts that he has a glimmer of hope that you’re about to end things. If you don’t, he will.

You walk in with an apologetic smile, sitting across from him. “Hey, how was your day?” You ask in a soft voice. You’re unconsciously trying to prepare yourself to let him down gently.

He shrugs a little. “Uneventful. Yours?”

“The same. Listen, Benny…” you start and trail off, looking away.

He takes one of your hands and looks at you, his eyes understanding. “Hey. I think I know what this is about.” He reads the sadness in your eyes like a book. “We need to be done. I get that. I agree.”

Your face finds a soft smile as you look back at him. “Really?” You ask.

“Yeah. I have something to ask.”

“Shoot.”

He takes your hand and presses it to his lips softly. “Will you no longer be my girlfriend and just go back to being my friend?” He asks. 

You nod excitedly, laughing. “Oh my god, yes, Benny. I’d love to no longer be your girlfriend.”

The both of you laugh at the irony in your words, and he sets your hand down. “Thank God.”

Later that night, Will, Frankie, and Santiago find their way to the bar. Of course they do. They come over to your booth, sliding in and pretending to love up on Benny. “Oh, are we interrupting a date?” Santiago asks with a fake pout.

You chuckle and look at Benny. He gives you a small smile and a nod. “Actually, no. No more dates between Benny and I. We’re over,” you say and breathe a sigh of relief.

Frankie’s blood runs cold. He must be dreaming for him to hear this. It’s only ever in those dreams that he hears the words he wants the most fall from your lips, words like these. Words that indicate you’re no longer Benny’s girl. “You two seemed so happy,” he murmurs in confusion.

Benny senses it all clicking. Frankie has liked you all along. He’s smarter than the gang gives him credit for. He can read his friends easily, and Frankie is the easiest of all of them to understand, with those big brown eyes that give everything away. It’s gotta be, he thinks. You probably don’t like him back, as anything more than a friend, but Frankie is in deep shit now for you. He nods, looking at Fish and shrugging. “We just didn’t work. We’re still gonna be friends though. She’s one of us, isn’t she?”

The men all cheer in agreement and it calms your frantically beating heart. The worst is over now. And goddamn, does Frankie look cuddly tonight in that flannel, you think to yourself. You slouch down against him two beers later and discover that yes, he’s as comfortable as he looks.

-

You’ve been single for a year now. Benny still texts with you daily, as do the other men. He sends you shitty Facebook memes that seem more like a dad would post. You realize that it’s for the best that you and Benny are over, with a chuckle. You can be much more honest.

It pains you to realize it, but you’re crushing hard on your ex’s best friend. Frankie Morales is everything you need and want and desire. His big arms wrap you in a hug every time the two of you say goodbye, and every time it feels like it lasts a millisecond longer. That neither of you want to let go.

Frankie feels the same, even though you don’t know it. He has that haunting dream once a week, the one where you kiss his neck and call him baby and it makes him yearn every night at 2:00 in the morning, staring at your Instagram page and thinking he should text you and see if you’re up. Not as a hookup, not anything like that. He just wants to talk to you.

You tease Frankie about his chronic insomnia. How he sends you random texts late at night. “Have you considered melatonin?” You ask.

“I have weird dreams. It’s not the falling asleep, it’s the waking up,” he admits, looking in the opposite direction of your face. 

Some days, Frankie thinks you feel the same. He notices the way your eyes linger on his face, the way you always sit next to him in a booth. The way your phone’s lockscreen is a photo of the two of you being stupid at some function. You’ve become best friends, Frankie has to admit, but sometimes he thinks there could be more. But then you say something offhanded and he has to throw the notion away. 

One night at the bar, when it’s just the men and you’re nowhere to be seen, Frankie takes Benny and guides him into the bathroom. His blonde brow furrows in confusion as he looks at Frankie. “Yeah, Fish?”

His hands rub together nervously and he looks down, before fidgeting with his cap and looking Benny in the eye. “You and Queenie… that’s all in the past, right? There’s nothing between the two of you?”

A smirk finds his face. “I knew it, Frank! I knew it from the night her and I broke up.”

He frowns. “Is that why?” He asks hurriedly. “Oh shit, I didn’t break the two of you up, did I? Jesus, Ben, I’m-”

“No, you dumb fuck,” he laughs and shakes his head. “I just saw the way you looked at her after it happened. Crazy in love. You totally are.

Frankie’s face turns red and he takes off his hat to adjust his hair. “Do you think she might like me too?” he asks, quietly. As if you could hear him somehow.

Benny nods, excitement in those bright blue eyes. “Hell yeah she does, Fish! You’re her fucking phone lockscreen. Girls don’t just do that.”

“I don’t know, man, we’re best friends. That might not mean shit.”

The blonde puts his hands on the brunette’s shoulders. “Listen to me, Frankie. I’ve known you’re into her for like a year now. I know she likes you too. It’s time, you gotta ask her out.”

“Really?” He asks, brown eyes widening. “I don’t think so. That could fuck everything up,” he says, the anxiety in his voice.

“Trust me,” Benny nods. “It won’t.” 

Frankie’s grinning ear to ear. “Alright. Tomorrow night, I’ll ask her to meet us here, but it’ll be just me. I’ll ask her out, how does that sound?”

“That sounds fuckin’ amazing, man!” Benny exclaims. “I’m happy for you. She’s a great girl and you’re a great guy.”

“You’re sure you’re okay with this?” he asks, wringing his cap in his hands. 

He nods. “Go for it, Fish.”

- Frankie never gets the chance.

The next night you float into the bar, absolutely on cloud nine. You’re grinning ear to ear and it only widens when you see Frankie, rushing over and hopping on the stool. “Hey Fish,” you coo and kiss his cheek.

Frankie’s stunned. “Hey. How was your day?” He asks hesitantly, looking at how flustered and happy you look.

“So good,” you laugh. “I actually got asked out. Like, on a date. This really sweet guy, friend of a coworker. His name is Sam.”

Frankie’s sure you can hear the crack that echoes inside his ribcage. His heart splits in two and to hide a quivering lip, he raises his glass to his lips and takes a swig of his beer.

You continue to talk about him, noticing his silence. “How was yours?” You ask, frowning a little at how tense he is. You rest a hand on his upper arm.

Frankie does his best not to flinch from your touch. “Not great,” he chuckles and clears his throat. “I kinda fucked something up.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you pout and stroke his arm softly. “Can I help you with it? Do you need to talk about it?”

He shakes his head quickly, standing from his stool. “No, just a personal thing. Hey, I’m gonna run and piss, the other guys will be here soon. Order something, it’s on me.”

Frankie’s gone into the bathroom before you can even process it. You frown a little but the smile returns as you order the drink and think about Sam.

Frankie locks himself in a stall and texts the other men.

D-SQUAD 🚁

Frankie: mission aborted. You guys need to come to the bar now so I don’t look like a chump.

Benny: what happened?

Frankie: a guy asked her out today. she’s taken now I guess

He stares at his phone and sends one last text.

Frankie: and don’t you dare mention it to her. make her tell you first.

He slides his phone in his pocket and leans against the wall of the bathroom stall, letting out a deep sigh. This is all shit. He’s a coward, and he should’ve done something sooner. 

He finally returns and sits next to you on a barstool. There’s a smile on his face that you’d notice was plastered if your mind wasn’t so wrapped up in your day. “So. Tell me about him. I’m happy for you, you know that?”

-

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @softly-sad @blo0dangel @luxurybeskar @binarydanvvers  @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel​ @sanchosammy​

[alloftheimaginess]

Wired Autocomplete

Other parts

Jared Padalecki

Alexander Calvert

Jensen Ackles

Ys = Your sign aka your zodiac sign

Bd = Birthday

Ht = Hometown

Sn = Sister’s name

Yh = Your height

"Hi I'm Yn Collins and this is my Wired autocomplete interview" I say smiling and I get thrown a card and I hold it up.

"Is Yn Collins" I say pausing.

"Dumb?" I say laughing and I pull the first one back.

"Is Yn Collins going to comic con" I read and I look up.

"Actually yes I am you can catch me there everyday, I'll be at the Supernatural panel when I'm not at my own so if you weren't able to meet me at mine you might be lucky and meet me at my husbands" I say looking back at the board.

"Is Yn Collins" I read pulling it back "adopted" I say looking up and I nod.

"I get this a lot so I'll explain here so people can continue to ask later down the road" I say laughing

"So my parents split up when I was 4 and my dad remarried my stepmom and she adopted me like made me legally hers and then my dad divorced her and went to jail so then I stayed with her and she remarried and she's legally my mom because she adopted me and her husband who I consider my only father is her husband" I say laughing explaining it the best I can.

"Is Yn Collins a" I say and I pull it back "a Ys" I read.

"Yes I am. I was born Bd" I say moving on, making it the shortest response.

"Is Yn Collins" I read and I start laughing "these make me nervous" I say laughing "Volt. Oh yeah, it's a character that I play in the marvel franchise. She started off bad but not really bad just misunderstood" I say nodding and I pull back the last one.

"Why is Yn Collins famous" I read "It all happened when I decided to audition when I was 7 and my husband" I say smirking "I'm just kidding not because of him" I say throwing the card getting another one.

"Where did Yn Collins" I read pulling it back "grow up" I read "I grew up in a million places lol, my dad was in the military so we moved often. I can name 9 places I lived. But before all that I grew up in H/t" I say.

"Who are Yn Collins siblings" I read. "I know you guys only googled this to see if Lily Collins would pop up which she didn't, we played adopted siblings in a movie and because of our chemistry and names everyone assumed we were actually siblings. But to answer this question I'm the oldest of four who's last names aren't Collins because that's my husbands last name" I say laughing, pulling the last one.

"Was Yn Collins" I read pulling it back "on glee" I read laughing.

"I also get this question often. That was my little sister Sn, we look super similar so at one point everyone struggled to tell us apart but yes she was the one on glee not me" I say.

"Does Yn Collins sing" I read "yes all the time. Who doesn't sing" I say laughing.

"Honestly at this point in my life I never stop singing" I say looking up at the camera.

"Misha tells me to shut up all time, I'm a nervous singer so when I'm anxious or nervous I hum, sing all of that" I say laughing.

"Did Yn Collins and Chris Evans date" I read "no, we just hang out like a lot. We've been making movies together since I was like 14 so he's just my best friend" I say laughing playing with the last cover.

"Did Yn Collins get married" I read laughing. "Yes that's why I'm called Collins" I answer. "Is this actually a question people google enough for it to pop up?" I ask shaking my head. "But yes I did my husband is Misha Collins. He's this really hot guy who plays an angel named Castiel on supernatural" I say pointing to the camera.

I throw the card and I catch the one that gets thrown to me and the first one has my avengers character name on it and I laugh. "Who is Audrey Patterson aka volt" I read "Aubrey Patterson is a woman who grew up in the south until she got her powers when she was just a wee tween and she was shipped away to live with her grandparents in New York" I say looking at the card.

"Is Aubrey Patterson and Sam Wilson friends in real life" I read "Mackie is my guy, when I first came onto the Captain America scene he was the first person who I hadn't met before to welcome me with opened arms" I say.

"Is Aubrey Patterson" I read and when I pull the tab back it pulls off the words "I guess we'll never know" I say laughing.

"Is Aubrey Patterson the youngest in the Captain America movies" I read "yes I am" I say laughing and I toss the board to the side.

"I'm almost done and I'm sad, I never want this to end I want to answer google questions all day" I say grabbing the board "can Yn Collins speak any other languages" I read.

"Three and a half" I say.

"Can you say something in all of the languages you know?"

"Yeah of course" I say nodding.

"Bonjour je suis avec câblé aujourd'hui" I say.

"Ik zal je vragen beantwoorden" I say raising a brow trying to see if I said that right.

"Don't come after me Dutch fans I'm sorry I'm still learning it's the half language I know" I say.

"Ich bin buchstäblich ein offenes Buch" I say smiling at the camera.

"Začnime" I say.

"What did you just say?" He asks.

"I said hello I'm with wired today and I will answer all of your questions, I'm an open book so let's begin" I say holding the bird back up.

"Is Yn Collins one of the best actresses of our generation" I read "literally I don't even know if I can properly answer that because naturally I'm going to say no because I work with a lot of amazing women so no" I say moving on.

"Who does Yn Collins look like?" I read "hmm, my sister like I said, my ten year old but she looks more like Misha than she looks like me but that counts. But definitely my eight year old son, he looks dead on me and my twins" I say smiling at the camera.

"What are Yn and Misha Collins" I read pulling it back. "kids names" I say.

"My oldest is Elodie, my second oldest is named after his dad so Dmitri, then the twins Maren and Mavis and then my youngest Farren" I say smiling at the camera because any time I can talk about my kids I'm in heaven.

"Is Yn Collins an alumna" I read "yes I am, I graduated from New York school of arts" I say.

"How tall is Yn Collins" I read "good question" I say laughing "I want to say about Y/H, in that area, just about" I say looking at the next one.

"How did Yn meet Misha" I read "aww" I say smiling "I love talking it about this a lot more than I actually should" I say.

"The year was 2009 and I was at comic con for Avatar" I say.

"He was there for his first comic con ever and we were next door neighbors and I got locked out of my room and my purse and everything were in there and I couldn't get a copy of my room key without my identification so I knocked on his door and the most attractive man I've ever seen opens the door in just a towel and I'm like lost for words at first and then he let's me in and enter through his room and we talked and hung out that whole weekend and 9 months I had Elodie" I say giggling.

"How long have Yn and Misha Collins been married" I read "nine years, we got married after Elodie turned one. Almost ten years" I say smiling at the camera.

"Is Alex Calvert Yn and Misha's kid?" I read laughing.

"How old do you guys think I am?" I ask laughing even harder.

"Also that would make no sense for obvious reasons but to answer your question no Alex is not either of our kid, separate, together, adopted" I say giggling.

"His wife is actually one of Misha and I's best friends, we've known her since she was like 14" I say.

"She actually named their first kid after Misha and he let's that go to his head because he has two people named after him" I say laughing.

"Is Yn Collins closer to Jared or Jensen's wife" I read.

"I'm super close to both and I love them to pieces but I do hang out with Jensen's wife more, we always go to lunch whenever we're together, and we always ride with each other to the airport when Jensen and Misha fly in together so I guess I'll just say her because we hang out more" I say shrugging.

"But like I said I love them both so much and equally" I say.

"Is Yn Collins pregnant" I read and I start laughing "you guys are good. But yes I am, 20 weeks today. We just announced it before I came in today so" I say throwing the card.

"I'm Yn Collins and this has been my Wired autocomplete Interview" I say smiling at the camera and blowing a kiss.

[billiewena]

for the 100k fic celebration, here a portion of the “what if 10x05 had a sastiel agenda?” AKA lil shit sam/jealous dean destiel fic I first shared a while back! been having a lot of fun basically rewriting and expanding on the entire musical episode with new songs (and lots of cute kristen & siobhan moments because OF COURSE they’re still a couple.) it was really encouraging to see the positive response to it back then and it's been taking forever because of work/other writing but I’m so excited to have this one be the first full-length fics I ever post.

It starts with costumed teenagers locked in a tight embrace with absolutely no room for Jesus.

“What are they doing?”

Marie glances over her shoulder for only a brief second.

“Kids these days call it hugging,” she says slowly. Geez, it would’ve been less insulting for her to just outright say Wow, you’re old.

Except it’s not just any of the show’s stars hugging over there. One of them is the “Dean” who’d been mid-rehearsal when they arrived and looked more like Bieber than him with the blonde wig. And the other? Well, he would recognize that Columbo coat anywhere.

“Is that in the show?” he asks, pointing their way.

Marie quickly shakes her head at the accusation. “Oh, no. Siobhan and Kristen are a couple in a real life.”

He nods and lower his hand. Got it. That’s all it was. Everything’s fine. Nothing to worry about—

“No, my play explores the nature of Sastiel.”

“The — wait, what?” he says, confused at once.

“Sastiel?” Marie pauses, giving him a second to figure it out. He doesn’t. “You know, the relationship between Sam and Castiel?”

Dean blinks.

“Sam and…C-Cas?”

“I know, I know. Edlund’s series never finished. I’m lucky I got these drafts. Ugh, it’s Midnight Sun all over again. But the love story is all in the subtext,” she says with confidence. “Can you believe there are people who still think Destiel is endgame? After everything that happened after the angels fell? After Gadreel? Please.”

He silently sounds out the word. Des-tiel? Wait…

“Ever since Cas came back from the dead and took on Sam’s pain, I knew. I just knew. Every one of their arcs had been parallel to each other’s from their fall from grace to the trials. And now with Dean gone, all they have…is each other.”

Marie sighs. “Besides, you can’t spell subtext without S-E-X.”

He coughs and nearly chokes on an asteroid-sized lump in his throat.

“I…uh. Yeah, th-that’s not…you know, I think I’ve seen enough,” Dean says with a forced smile. “Thank you for your, ah, time. I’ll, uh, we’ll follow up if we have questions about the missing persons case. I—alright.”

And with that he purses his lips, turns on his heel and walks away — nearly tripping over one of the stage chords as he does. Why are there are so many of them anyways? This is just some all-girls school production, not the goddamn West End.

He finds Sam in his natural nerd habitat (the tech booth) sifting through all the bins of A/V supplies.

“Yeah, not to interrupt the blast from the past here but it’s time for us to go,” he says, patting the door.

His brother shoots him an annoyed look but packs up and follows him out all the same. Not that Dean bothers to wait for him; no, he makes a beeline for the car as soon as he leaves the booth.

“Hey, what’s with the rush?” Sam calls after him as he runs to catch up with him at the school entrance.

“No rush,” he says shortly. “Just wanted to see what you found out before you got too lost in the nerd sauce over there.”

He doesn’t need to look back to know he’s on the receiving end of a Classic Sam Bitchface right now and continues to stomp his way through the parking lot.

“Well, no EMF, no hex bags. None of their props are remotely hinky. Talked to Maeve and all those extras in the auditorium.” Sam finally catches up and walks side-by-side with him now. “You have any more luck?”

“Nah. Ms. Chandler's office is just a pile of empty bottles and regret. She's probably just face down in a bar somewhere. Or a ditch. I did get to hear all about the director’s, ah, creative vision though,” Dean says, teeth gritted. “Apparently we go into space, I become a woman, and there’s even ninjas and robots!”

“Robots. Huh. Well, that’d definitely be a new one.”

“There’s no robots in Supernatural—”

“I-I know that,” Sam says in exasperation. “I just mean it’s, y’know, innovative. And Dean we’ve fought weirder. Remember the teddy bear? The fairies? The ballet shoes?”

“Well, you just wait until you hear about what she in store for you, Lover Boy,” he says.

And that makes Sam do an instant double-take.

“Uh, Lover Boy?”

“Yeah, your number one fan back there —” he says, gesturing back towards the school, “— was telling me all about the play’s, uh, love story between you and Cas. You got something you’ve been meaning to tell me or what?”

“The love story? Wait, what do you mean me and Cas?”

Dean scoffs, already in utter disbelief of the words he was about to say. “Like you and Cas, together. Together together? Romance of the ages the way she made it sound. Apparently it’s all in her play!”

To his surprise though, Sam just… laughs. “Well, I mean hey, that’s an improvement from the ones who wrote about me and you.”

“You got that right,” he agrees with a shudder. Meeting one Becky the Stalker was bad enough. Knowing she wasn’t alone and that she had an audience made it even worse. “She even had a portmanteau for you, dude. Like you’re some celebrities in a grocery store tabloid. Sass-tiel.”

“Sass-tiel?” He seems to seriously consider it but shrugs. “I don’t know. What about… Samstiel? CasSam? Cam? Mmm, maybe not that…”

Dean groans. “Really? That’s your issue with this?”

“Of course it’s not my issue,” Sam says. He stays pensive for a few more seconds until chuckling again to himself this time, as if he’s the only one in on a private joke. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, Cas is great but…”

“Not your type?”

“Yeah, sure,” Sam says. No, it’s definitely more than that and he’s doing a piss-poor job of hiding his amused expression.

Dean turns and stares him down. “What?”

“I dunno,” he says, his smirk fully visible now. “I just think it’s funny they’re pairing me up with Cas when the one with the ‘profound bond’ with him is right there.”

“Oh, haha. You’re hilarious,” Dean retorts at once.

“Hey man, I’m not the one who stayed in Purgatory for a year to find him.”

His glare takes on a murderous edge.

“Okay. You know what? You’re going to do that thing where you just shut the hell up! Forever!”

Sam holds up his hands in either what’s either a show of innocence or surrender.

“Alright, alright. Well, other than the Charlie Kaufman of it all I got nothing.”

“So…what?” Dean says. “This-this all... This whole musical thing, everything, it's... it's all a coincidence? There is no case?”

“Unless you're seeing something I'm not, no, Dean. There's no case here,” he says sincerely this time.

“Come on. This has classic Trickster vibes all over it.” He almost wants to turn around and start yelling, Come on out Gabriel you bastard!

“Trickster’s dead, man. And he wasn’t just a trickster, he was an archangel. And they’re all gone too.”

“Could be a lower-rank angel?” Dean tries. “I mean, Zachariah pulled off an entire apocalypse world. And that place where we were both corporate drones. Before you know it, this’ll get all Buffy and it’ll be me and you singin’ and dancin’—“

“Dean…I think it’s just fans. Look, as long as they’re not putting another love spell on one of us I couldn’t really care less what they’re doing,” Sam says with some bitterness, clearly not looking back at that particular memory with any fondness. “Just writing some songs? I mean, it’s innocent enough.”

“Oh yeah, so innocent,” he scoffs. “They’re singing about our dead parents, your demon blood bender, the apocalypse, all of it! This is just…it’s make-believe for them! But it’s our lives!”

Sam runs a tired hand through his hair. “Look, I don’t get it either man. I wasn’t exactly thinking about the books’ entertainment value while Chuck was describing my sex life in vivid detail—“

“Don’t remind me,” he says, holding up a hand in disgust.  

“—but I dunno. There’s obviously something about it they connected to, right? Something they related to, something that moved them, inspired them? And I guess…I mean, what’s wrong with that?”

There is so, so much wrong with that.

“I don’t know what story they’re reading and what Sam and Dean they’re ‘connecting’ to here. But it sure as hell ain’t us. I mean…they even made me blonde, dude.”

“It’s a high school play, what can you expect?” Sam laughs. “It was probably the closest wig they could find at Party City.”

Dean ignores him, muttering aloud as he makes his way to the driver’s seat.

“The hair…the singing…the robots… the love story…”

“You really were bothered by that, weren’t you?” Sam gives his brother a curious look.

“SUPERNATURAL ISN’T A ROMANCE!” Dean snaps. “Look, these girls obviously don’t know what they’re talking about—“

“I dunno, Dean,” Sam said in a clearly taunting voice now. “Maybe you’re just jealous of what me and Cas have.”

He flushes. “W-what? I-I’m not—“

“We could give you two a name too, y’know? So you don’t feel left out? What about…Dee-stiel? CasDean?”

And he refuses to entertain this conversation any longer.

“Shut your face! Get in the car!”

Thankfully Sam notices the shift in tone and obliges at once.

Dean, meanwhile, takes a moment outside the car to glance around — almost as if checking to see if anyone overheard that comment. Not that it mattered. Who could overhear? No one even knew they were THE Sam and THE Dean. Who cared? He certainly didn’t care. He didn’t care at all...

(to be continued)

[carllisle]

do you think when he was a human carlisle had a sweetheart, or even just someone who would catch his eye or smile at him in his father's congregation, and who he might find himself thinking about later in passing? im 100% wild for carlesme but just had this bittersweet train of thought and would be interested to hear yours (and everyone else's) thoughts <3

Hi there, thank you so much for this ask, it’s such an interesting idea! I love your idea of him having a little crush on someone, and I think someone in his father’s congregation is such a sweet concept! As the only son, there would be the expectation that he would marry, even if he had desires to go into the Church himself as Anglican preachers could marry at this time. He was probably good looking (given how sexy he is even for a vampire in canon) even as a human, and he had a gentle disposition outside of the whole burning people thing. Interestingly, SMeyer did little to no research on English history regarding witchcraft at least, as in England witches were hanged, not burnt at the stake. Heretics were burnt at the stake, as it was believed that the fires would cleanse the soul, and so they had to die but they were killed in a way that the persecutors believed might save their soul. The history of witch-hunts in England is fascinating and hugely misrepresented in the media (like how around 75% of people accused were found not guilty, and how men were accused too and it wasn’t uncommon at all). But that’s by the by! 

I can see Carlisle developing an attachment to a woman during his late teen years/early 20s but being reluctant to take it anywhere because of the dangerous nature of his involvement with his father’s work. I think it would be in-character for him to not want to marry and have children while the risk of him losing his life was a real potential in his mind, so he avoided it. We know he was getting uncomfortable with the work, so perhaps after a while he might have stopped it (although having said that, once he realised he was catching the real ‘dangers’ he might have been more inspired because he thought he was saving more lives than he was taking). If he had been a clergyman without ties to the supernatural I think he could have definitely allowed himself to love someone and make a family with them. 

Let’s say, though, that he did have a sweetheart at the time he was changed; a sweet daughter of a local merchant who came from a well-to-do family, who he called on for social visits on Friday afternoons. Her mother liked how kind he was, her father liked that he was an upstanding member of society with a promising future in the Church ahead of him - perhaps even a bishopric one day! They took chaperoned walks in the gardens of her family home in London and he gave her flowers. Their courtship was in its infancy but they liked each other well enough. Then one day, he disappeared. His father said he died hunting vampyres but no body had yet been found - it was assumed it had been dragged into the creatures’ den or spirited away where it would never be found. The young woman kept her hope alive for months, though, hoping that he had escaped and would return to his father, to her. But time went by and the preacher’s son never did come home. She ended up marrying a man she did not love but liked well enough, and she had children with dark hair and dimples. She sometimes thought of Carlisle, though, and dreamt of children she might have borne him too, with light hair and bright smiles. He would have been a good father, she knew. She missed him for years. Once, when she was older, her children grown and gone, her husband lost to disease that had ripped through London as they often did, she thought she saw him one night. She was lying in bed, her window open to encourage a non-existent breeze through and cool her in her stuffy house, and she dreamt he was there. It was Carlisle, but it wasn’t. He looked as young as the day she had last saw him, but more beautiful than anyone she had ever seen before. He watched her with golden eyes, his skin as pale as the moon, and he smiled sadly. “Is this a dream?” she asked him as he stood in front of the window. “It is,” he told her. She had forgotten how much she loved his voice. “Alright,” she answered. He didn’t say anything else. It did occur to her that perhaps he was an angel now and calling her home to the Kingdom of God, but she woke in the morning as she always did. It made her sad. 

[mst3kproject]

The Neanderthal Man

Since I'm taking a break from fishmen, I might as well let Bigfoot catch up a bit.  The Neanderthal Man isn't exactly a Bigfoot movie, but it’s along the same lines and its entire starring cast has MST3K pedigrees.  Robert Shayne was in Indestructible Man and Teenage Caveman. Richard Crane was Rocky Jones, Space Ranger! Beverly Garland was in Swamp Diamonds and Gunslinger. Even the composer, Albert Glasser, wrote music for Invasion USA, Last of the Wild Horses, and almost all of MST3K’s Bert I. Gordon movies.

Some little mountain town in the middle of the Sierras (which the Portentous 50's Narrator takes some trouble to tell us is a primeval place where 'the defacing hand of civilization has fallen but lightly') is having a rash of saber-toothed tiger sightings!  At first these are laughed off, but when the game warden himself sees one cross the road in the middle of the night, it's time to do something about it.  The warden shows a cast pawprint to Dr. Ross Harkness in Los Angeles, who is interested enough to come up and see for himself. Local Mad Scientist Dr. Groves pooh-poohs the whole thing, which is enough to tell me that we're not dealing with a local cryptid here.  Somebody is making prehistoric monsters.

So... I may not have actually run out of movies, but I seem to be running out of plots, because this is a remarkably similar movie to Monster on the Campus. The major difference between the two films is that Dr. Blake turned himself into a caveman by accident, while Dr. Groves here is doing it on purpose.

Another difference is that Monster on the Campus' story, while silly, was linear – events escalated in a way that felt logical, and there were reasons why things happened when and where they did.  By contrast, The Neanderthal Man feels like a first draft.  At the beginning of the film, we're dealing with the saber-toothed tigers that Groves has been creating by injecting cats with his de-evolution serum.  We hear about these slaughtering game and livestock, and it seems like only a matter of time before they move on to human beings.  The beginning of the film is quite upfront about the fact that Groves is responsible, too, as it is only mildly mysterious in its depiction of one of the creatures escaping his lab.

Sometimes the saber-tooths are represented by an actual tiger, usually filmed from behind or at a great distance so nobody has to put the prosthetic teeth on it.  They do have prosthetic teeth, but they're only visible in a couple of shots. Imagine being at a bar and some guy tells you his job is sticking fake fangs on real tigers for a caveman movie!  For close-ups, there's a hilarious puppet head that looks like the sort of thing you'd see mounted on a frat house wall as a joke.  The director had the sense not to linger on this in motion shots, but later we see still photographs Groves has supposedly taken of his experimental subjects and they're even stupider-looking than we imagined.

Anyway, this goes on for a while with rising action, as the game warden goes to get Harkness and they manage to shoot one of the animals, only to have it vanish from the kill site when they try to show it to Groves (the movie never bothers to explain how that happened, incidentally. The ending suggests that the creatures change back when they die, but there's definitely no dead kitty cat at the scene, either).  The whole movie could easily have just had the cats and their creator as the antagonists, perhaps even ending the same way as Dr. Groves proves his work to the other characters by injecting himself. That's not what happens, though.  Instead, the story mostly forgets about the cats one we find out Groves has also been carrying on human experiments.

(Before himself, Groves' first experimental subject was his disabled Latina housekeeper.  Another series of photos show her half-transformed into a cavewoman who for some reason is wearing drag queen false eyelashes.  And as long as I'm talking about the movie being gross and bigoted, there's a bit where a woman is violently raped.  This happens off camera, but the audience is not allowed to entertain any illusions about it.)

The problem is that before we see him give himself an injection in the arm, we have had absolutely no indication that Groves has been giving his serum to anything besides the cats! Cats are stealthy, cryptic creatures and if one of those has been seen wandering around killing things, then surely a full-on caveman beating people to death would not be able to stay out of sight!  If what we were seeing were the first time Groves had tried the formula on himself then that would be an explanation, but his notes reveal that he's been doing it for so long that he's on the verge of losing control of the transformation and permanently reverting to a pre-human status, as indeed he does for the climax.  Much like the stupid dinosaur in The Beast of Hollow Mountain, the movie's main monster is given no build-up whatsoever!

There's worse yet, though.  The main characters, Dr. Harkness and Groves' daughter Jan, are barely involved in the 'caveman' part of the plot. They get phone calls about the various murders that Groves is committing in caveman form, and they snoop around the lab to figure out things the audience already knows.  The same story could have been told without them, perhaps with the game warden and the hunter as protagonists, and it would probably have been more interesting. The script also repeatedly has Dr. Groves wander in and bluster about how the tiger sightings are hallucinations and tall tales, which seems a little unnecessary when we already know he's responsible. The film-makers can't seem to decide whether they want us to know that or not.

Dr. Groves wears glasses.  Maybe the reason his primitive alter-ego is angry and breaking shit (although it does politely open and close the window it climbs out of, which made me laugh) is because it can't see. This is also my theory about why the Hulk smashes, and what do you know?  In Avengers Endgame he's got Hulk-sized spectacles and only smashes when he's told!

The direction of The Neanderthal Man can probably best be described as 'serviceable'.  It shows us what's going on, but doesn't particularly add anything to the proceedings.  The 'Neanderthal' mask is immobile and uninteresting, not much better than somebody's Party City Sasquatch costume.  Even the eyes are just painted on, meaning the poor guy in the costume can’t do much because he can’t see where he’s going.

The dialogue is often very strange, with characters talking like they're in a Jules Verne novel. If only one person did this, it might seem like a character quirk – it works for Dr. Groves, for example – but it's everybody. Seeing the cat carcass is gone, Harkness declares, “I refuse to believe in the supernatural!  There must be some logical cause and effect to this unholy adventure!”  Groves' fiancee Ruth berates him for ignoring her, saying, “I want you, the man I once knew!  The good companion, the cheerful friend.  I want the happiness we once found in each other.”  It's bizarre to listen to, and often audibly awkward for the actors.

Monster on the Campus was kind of trying to be about how humanity must choose to evolve away from our inner savage, although the finale didn't bear that out.  There's a scene in The Neanderthal Man in which this movie seems to be trying to go in the opposite direction, saying that we were never savage to begin with.  Dr. Groves is speaking to a panel of scientists about the size of the brain in various 'primitive' species of human.  He points out that by the time we reached Homo erectus we were already working with four times the cerebral jelly of a chimpanzee, and argues that our ancestors would have been recognizably human in their behaviour and problem-solving capacity.

(Amusingly, his chart of human evolution includes Piltdown Man, which was proven to be a hoax literally a few months after this movie's release.  What makes this even more tragic for the writers is that their list of primitive humans seems to be the only place where they actually did any research.)

The problem with Dr. Groves' theory is that he already knows it's wrong. We soon learn that he's been experimenting on himself with his serum for a while already, and his notes show that he knows very well he regresses into a near-mindless animal.  The movie does not even try to reconcile these ideas.  If Groves were continuing his experiments in the hope that perfecting his serum would give him a more accurate reconstruction of ancient man, that would be one thing, but the script never goes there.

So now that we've had two 'man turns into caveman by injecting science juice' movies, of course I have to ask which one is better.  Monster on the Campus wasn't a good movie but it was definitely an improvement on The Neanderthal Man in several respects, and although I don't have any way to find out for certain, I suspect it was an intentional remake.  It's definitely more entertaining and gets bonus points for including the Meganeura dragonfly, but nothing in it is nearly as funny as The Neanderthal Man's fake tiger head.  I guess if you're gonna watch one or the other, stick to Monster on the Campus, but if you're gonna watch both, start with The Neanderthal Man and do them in chronological order, the better to spot the inspirations and references.

Before I go, a fun paleontology fact: current thinking is that the saber-toothed cat's eponymous fangs actually didn't show when it had its mouth closed!  There are zero cave paintings or ancient sculptures of a saber-tooth cat with teeth visible, and when scientists looked at the structure of the enamel in the canines, it suggested that in life the teeth were hidden by big, fleshy, St Bernard jowls.  Google 'smilodon lips' and behold how this looks fully three hundred percent more ridiculous than you're imagining.  I love nature.

[tipsycad147]

Sleep Paralysis. Legends, Dangers and Magic

By The Alchemist

Sleep Paralysis sounds pretty modern as a term. However, it’s old as time. Nocturnal Witches, both ancient and modern, are quite familiar with both the term and the state itself. Priests and Priestesses of the Ancient Times, knew all about this pretty frightening state. What did they know back then? Do we know the whole truth? This article will try to shed some witchy light on this dark subject.

Sleep Paralysis and Nocturnal Witchcraft

The Nocturnal Witchcraft is full of surprises, dangers and opportunities. Although it’s not for everyone, the Craft of the Night is enticing and has so much to teach all of us. We’ve learned the Light is Good and Darkness is Bad. This mistaken belief is what tears us apart from the inside. You see, Darkness is as good as the Light. Both give us the balance we need. Don’t be mistaken. Darkness is essential. Do not mess Darkness with Evil. Don’t give in religious propaganda. Light can also be evil and deceiving.

Green Witchcraft II: Balancing Light & Shadow, by Llewellyn Publications, get it from Amazon here

In the Ancient times, priests of the God of Healing, Asclepius, used to initiate a sleep state for their worshippers in order to find the cure of their disease. Darkness was essential to find the cure. Moreover, priests of Hades, God of the underworld, went over a similar procedure in order to contact the Souls of the Dead and learn more. Darkness is equally sacred as the Light.

Sleep Paralysis in Witchcraft and the Old Religion

The first documented account of Sleep Paralysis is written on a Chinese book of Dreams in the 4th century b.C. Since then, ancient Greek and Roman doctors have written about this experience. Sleep paralysis was always linked with supernatural forces and entities from another Realm.

Sleep Paralysis ONLY occurs at Night.

This is quite interesting and it was noticed from the ancient times too. That’s where the word ‘nightmare’ comes from!

What Does ‘Nightmare’ means?

The world ‘nightmare’ which now just means bad dream, is actually a world for Sleep Paralysis. It comes from ‘night’ and the Scandinavian ‘mara‘, which is the female demon, a succubi, who loves to sit on a sleeping person’s chest, suffocating him or her. This creature is also known as ‘the Night Hag‘, ‘Old Mara‘ or ‘the Old Hag‘. It’s difficult not to notice the same word, ‘mara‘ is the sanskrit word to describe the Lord of Evil, similar to ‘Satan‘.

victim of sleep paralysis and astral demons

Astral Demons and Sleep Paralysis

All over the World, the same story goes on and on. In most cases a spirit sits on your chest trying to such your vital energy. Most of the times this is a female entity but in many cases it’s also a male or an animal entity. Due to Witchcraft, these entities might either be:

Astral Demons feasting on someone’s astral energy

Psychic / Astral vampires draining your vitality

Evil Witches attacking their victim causing a ‘psychic attack’, probably engaging in Witch Wars

An Evil Witch’s familiar attacking the witch’s victim causing a ‘psychic attack’, probably engaging in Witch Wars

Who is Old Mara. A Night Demon of misty Scandinavia

According to the Nordic belief, ‘Mara’ is a damned woman who is cursed to travel around at nights and sit on villagers’ chests, causing them nightmares while snuffing their vital energy. Hence, she is a succubus, a female astral demon of vampiric nature.

One of the oldest yet very famous artwork of sleep paralysis, is Henry Fuseli’s 1781 painting ‘The Nightmare’. This painting features probably all the infamous symptoms of sleep paralysis. In this painting we can clearly see a demon – ‘Mara’ – sitting on the chest of sleeping lady. What we can also see are several quite strange and otherworldly creatures sneaking in her bedroom.

The Astral Demon of the Night in Melanesia

Far far away from Norway, in Melanesian islands, sleep paralysis is interpreted as ‘kana tevoro‘ which literally means getting eaten by the demon. Again, this is a damned spirit who is somehow bound in the material plane becoming a hungry ghost to haunt the living relatives who keep grudge with.

According to their customs, this possession might get handy! Hence, people around should say ‘kania, kania‘ which means ‘eat, eat!‘ in an attempt to prolong the possession and have the chance to chat with the soul hence looking for answers in the matter of why he or she has returned.  Here’s when it get’s even creepier. The individual awakening from the experience is asked to pursue the soul of the dead relative. This confrontation is believed to be the only solution. There is actually a 2014 short movie about that story!

The Astral Demon around the Mediterranean Sea

In Greece, it is believed that sleep paralysis occurs when a demonic old lady named Mora (again remember sanskrit Mara, the devil), sits on the victims chest trying to steal it’s breath and energy. A little South from Greece, in Egypt, this spirit is believed to be the spirit of an evil African Queen (probably one who possessed magical powers like Bilqis – Queen of Sheeba ). In Turkish culture, sleep paralysis is often referred to as karabasan (“the dark presser/assailer”).

Nightmare (1800) after Henry Fuseli’s The Nightmare (1781).

Night Witches, Witch Trials and Sleep Paralysis

Sleep paralysis was used as ‘evidence’ during the Witch Craze in Salem. In 1692 accused witch Susan Martin had told Robert Downer that “some She-Devil would shortly fetch him away”. About that night, Robert Downer said that “as he lay in his bed, there came in at the window, the likeness of a cat, which flew upon him, took fast hold of his throat, lay on him a considerable while, and almost killed him.”

According to these accounts, Evil Witches brought demons, who possessed these people causing them sleep paralysis.

What is Sleep Paralysis?

But first things first. Let’s give a definition. Sleep paralysis is the feeling similar to waking up, hence being conscious yet unable to move or speak from a few seconds up to a few minutes. Some people may also feel pressure on their chest, belly or a weird sense of choking. It occurs when a person passes between stages of sleep.

When does it Occur?

Most likely, Sleep paralysis occurs in the Nighttime. It usually happens during the Witching Hour, which makes things even more ‘magically’ complicated.

A Witch’s View on ‘Sleep Paralysis’

Sleep Paralysis is indeed a bewitching time. No matter how hard scientists try to explain what is happening, the stories speak for themselves. Yes it can be traced back to the transitions or REM and NREM sleep states, yet this does not excludes the magical phenomena which co-exist.

These hypnagogic states, were always useful in Witchcraft, as we have managed to isolate our senses, paralyzed our material bodies in order to have full access to our magical potential and astral energy. ‘Sleep Paralysis’ can be caused with Hypnosis as it’s such a powerful state of awareness. In fact, deep meditation tries to imitate this state.

As previously discussed in our article on Astral Projection “…the Truth though is that, Sleep Paralysis is only a step before Astral Projection. While in Sleep Paralysis, your body is totally relaxed but the Astral Body is activated. Thus your magical and psychic powers are on alert identifying entities and creatures around you of the same essence, the astral essence. Of course it comes natural to get scared by a negative entity therefore wake up and remember what you’ve experienced in the state of Sleep Paralysis.”

In other words, sleep paralysis is much more common. You are just more capable of remembering a scary experience rather than a relaxing one.

Conclusions:

YES, these scary creatures you see are real. They are actually astral demons and vampiric entities.  That’s why we have protection rites all over our magazine.

YES, these entities try to suck your energy either you’re sleeping or not.

NO, this is not what causes the paralysis. You are just transiting between sleep conditions. It’s a hypnagogic state EXTREMELY useful.

YES, thanks to your higher awareness due to sleep paralysis, you are able to recognize these creatures.

YES, you are safe! Especially when in sleep paralysis or while astral traveling you are more protected than usual because you are more aware of your spiritual self and you can conjure powers from your Guardian Angel.

Witchy Solution: In order to protect yourself from these entities, one needs to place a silver dime under his/her pillow. Silver is believed to keep vampiric demons away.

In conclusion Sleep Paralysis is safe and the doorway to the Astral Plane.

Have you Ever Experienced Sleep Paralysis?

https://www.magicalrecipesonline.com/2018/05/sleep-paralysis-legends-dangers-and-magic.html