#but there are like. no one thinks eiffel and minkowski or jacobi and maxwell are romantic cause they are so strongly like

[cosmicrhetoric]

still really impressed with how good the lack of romance in w359 was. not that i really would've minded if there was any but it's just that there's such a plethora of interesting and complex and devoted character dynamics that sure you can think eiffel n hera had something going on <3 but you don't have to, it doesn't change that hers was the last voice he ever wanted to hallucinate before he died. sure you can think there was something with hera and maxwell but it doesn't change the three straight days maxwell had to stay up for memoria.....or anything that happened after 😬. i make no such excuses for the kepcobi fireworks mini ep tho lmao what was that. fruit

[commsroom]

circumstances surrounding the “leaked” documents about eiffel’s sentencing in need to know, as i understand them:

one of the very first things kepler does is offer eiffel, minkowski, and lovelace a drink. in true “at any given moment, kepler has about eighteen ulterior motives” spirit, it is, among other things, “hospitality”, sure, a test for eiffel, definitely, but… i think the main reaction he was checking for was minkowski’s. will she look at eiffel, or react to his reaction? how much does she know? how much does he trust her?

in don’t poke the bear, jacobi and maxwell stop lovelace from breaking into kepler’s server by pretending to be in on it with her: “she’s very good. it might turn into a problem.” / “i’ll run it by kepler.” two episodes later, files from kepler’s very secure server are “leaked.”

(the words "need to know" are spoken offhandedly by eiffel in the episode itself, but it also calls back to the excuse maxwell gives lovelace: "colonel kepler practically lives by the words 'need to know.' and, apparently, nothing i can say will ever convince him that i 'need to know' everything that's in our databanks.")

need to know opens with minkowski finishing an eleven hour shift, and then finding out kepler moved that shift to, well. now. she’s already frustrated and sleep deprived.

minkowski complains to kepler. jacobi and maxwell, on cue, barge in and complain to kepler. kepler assigns minkowski, jacobi, maxwell, and lovelace to punishment detail, taking eiffel out of the group because “you’re the only one who hasn’t wasted my time with pointless whining.” lovelace says: “um, i don’t think that i did any complaining either, so…” but that doesn’t matter. it’s just an excuse to remove eiffel from the group; he could just as easily have been singled out for special punishment. either way, it was going to happen.

hilbert isn’t there. not the most significant factor, since he’s already been effectively sidelined by kepler, but remember he already knows about eiffel’s sentencing, doesn’t care (about eiffel’s history OR about anyone else’s personal drama), and will later respond to minkowski asking by telling her to grow up and get back to work. it simplifies things to not factor him in.

consider the files themselves: we know from happy holidays that maxwell not talking to her family is common knowledge, but jacobi reacts like it’s news. we know from hera’s performance review flashback in memoria that kepler and jacobi were aware of “multiple attempted crew member homicides” in her record. the file about hera’s bentham directory was on kepler’s server. if there’s one person who would’ve been briefed on everything there was to know about hera, it would’ve been maxwell; her shock is entirely feigned. in fact, almost every reaction from jacobi and maxwell here is feigned. they’re black ops specialists who arrived prepared with divide-and-conquer tactics. there’s no reason they wouldn’t know these things. also note that none of the “leaks” reveal anything about the mission they didn’t already know, and that nothing about the si-5 is incriminating - if anything, it’s mostly silly and even humanizing. and, yes, all of that contextualizes maxwell’s reaction to “skiing?!”

eiffel’s file comes through last, once they’re already worn out. kepler sends eiffel to check on them at the same time so that he’ll walk in. jacobi shows minkowski the file. he lurks around waiting to see how her not-confrontation with eiffel goes, and then cements the thought in her head: what about you? are you going to care?

it’s true that there are aspects of the mission only kepler knows, but as far as information on the hephaestus crew goes (barring one very particular detail about lovelace)? that’s part of the job they were chosen for. when they kill the plant monster, kepler says: “you think we didn’t know about that thing? please. we listened to every log that you beamed down to canaveral.” kepler’s entire foundation is shaken when jacobi turns on him because this is how they operate: “have one person take the blame, say the mean things. meanwhile, the poor, betrayed little guy gets a bit more leeway - just enough to sneak up and hit you from behind.” the show is not subtle about any of this. you can pick apart any early-s3 interaction between two hephaestus crew members and an si-5 agent and see the same divide-and-conquer tactics at play. jacobi and maxwell are always - in morals, loyalty, job description - closer to kepler than they are to the hephaestus crew, and to even sort of believe otherwise is falling for that facade. it’s worth remembering that the hephaestus crew are prisoners. some of them were aware of it from the start, and some of them were lied to, but none of them were meant to leave. the si-5, on the other hand, went up there with a unified goal, and the knowing intention they would be, among other things, prison guards.

[acollectionofcuriousreblogs]

So I know there are a lot of us who appreciate Minkowski as a big and buff woman, but hear me out, consider the thematic implications of tiny Minkowski. Of 5’0, athletic but not jacked, Minkowski. Because then, besides Eiffel, Minkowski would be the only character who is just pretty average. She’s not a brilliant scientist like Hilbert or Maxwell. She’s not in control of an entire space shuttle or an immortal android like Hera and Pryce. She can’t dodge out of the way of bullets like Cutter. And she can’t match the physical threat that Lovelace and Kepler have proven they posses. In fact, she’s not much of a threat at all, which is precisely why I think Cutter picked her.

She’s strict and disciplined, a natural leader who follows orders and trusts authority; exactly the kind of person Goddard can manipulate. However, even if she ever does wisen up (which she obviously does) she won’t be able to cause great damage to others or the company. She’s easily dispensable…so Cutter believes.

And yet time and time again, we see Minkowski survive. This woman, who was marked to be killed off back in season 1, manages to be one of few to make it back to Earth in the finale. Minkowski is constantly going against people bigger, brainier, and better than herself but she always comes out on top. She survives Hilbert’s takeover. She forces Kepler to surrender during their mutiny. She beats Jacobi’s ultimatum without any loss of life. She kills the immortal Cutter. Not to mention all the many, many disasters and dangers she endures (and brings her crew through) while in space.

And that’s because she’s a testament to the human spirit. An embodiment of sheer will and determination. Of unrelenting perseverance, even in the face of impossible odds. Don’t underestimate the little guy because they can endure. Renee Minkowski, the woman constantly proving you don’t need to be exceptional to do great things. And I love her for it.

[emp-t-man]

so my friend @delaneytalks-tostatues very kindly sent me a prompt for the ask reblog and of course i had to blow it out of proportion so here’s a long and ramble-y description of what musical instruments would represent the cast of wolf 359 in an instrumental score (by a music major)

minkowski would have trumpet motifs. they’re bold, and loud, and often the leaders of the brass section, but can also have a beautiful and even melancholy sound when played in the right situation. trumpets are often used to solo, and hardly play as much as other brass or woodwind instruments in an ensemble, the way minkowski often places upon herself the entire fate of the crew and the mission and is reluctant to accept help when it doesn’t come to aspects of the mission itself. i can just imagine the slow, emotional solo that would play in the background of her breakdown in pan-pan and it’s. ugh /pos

lovelace would be repped by a trombone— very close to a trumpet, but slightly deeper, with more of a dark timbre behind it, reminiscent of the people she’s lost and what she’s had to go through to be where she is. they’re also more friendly in terms of playing with the rest of the ensemble and more flexible in moving between notes, but just as strong.

eiffel has french horn motifs. is it because the french horn is my favorite of the non-string instruments? maybe. but also it has such emotional depth behind it. it’s so full, and hauntingly beautiful, and i think it’d be a good representation of how deeply eiffel strives to be a good person to try and forget his past.

now, these three all have something in common, and that’s having their instrument be a member of the brass section. brass just seems very fitting for the protagonists of the series— it’s hopeful, it’s strong, it’s driving. but i’m missing a couple members of the hephaestus crew who i think wouldn’t be represented by brass motifs for one reason or another.

starting with hera. i think hera’s motif would be played by a flute for a number of reasons. for one, she just gives me flutist vibes. for two, flutes aren’t a member of the brass family, just as hera isn’t seen as a true member of the hephaestus by a lot of people for a long time. while the flute is a beautiful instrument on its own, it can sound sort of lonely among a big, strong brass ensemble. however, a soft, lilting flute melody above a brass accompaniment could be just what the ensemble needs to achieve the mellow timbre a piece could call for, just as hera’s persistence and determination and intelligence is often what pulls the crew through when they’re stuck doing nothing but yelling at each other. i think it could especially be really pretty with a muted trumpet as a duet, in the same way hera and minkowski grow to be very close and work rather well with one another as they go through everything together.

there’s another we gotta talk about but i gotta bring up SI-5 first—

while the hephaestus crew is represented by the brass section, i think it’d be cool to have SI-5 represented by woodwinds. they aren’t as strong aurally, but add essential undertones and accompanying cues that could make or break an orchestra.

maxwell has english horn motifs for little reason other than it just— sounds like her to me. it can either sound like a sunrise of a new day or the creeping sensation of dread as lights dim depending on what mode you’re in and what the accompaniment is like, just like maxwell is seen by hera as both a friend and someone who doesn’t respect her in the slightest at different points in the series, and sometimes at the same time. it’s bright, and beautiful, but sneaky, and i think that kind of motif would go hard

jacobi would be played by a bassoon. again, this is a little bit because two of my closest friends are bassoonists and i love the instrument to death but ALSO because it’s deep and looming and intimidating but can also be extremely moving and emotional if you listen closely enough.

now kepler, he’s represented with saxophones. the instrument that looks to be a brass instrument but in reality is part of the woodwind family, just as kepler appears to have the crew’s safety in his best interest and to want to be their friend at first, but is rather quick to let them know his only interest lies with himself and his mission. it’s also a very charismatic instrument and is used to charm people a lot of the time, just as kepler relies on to pull in and trap other people in his “big picture” before they even know it.

all of this leaves hilbert. hilbert, to me, would be played by a cello. it’s a string instrument, and has no part in the band ensemble, just as hilbert has no alliance with any of the other crew members. he does his own thing, and the decima project means more to him than any individual. it’s deep, and full, and just like eiffel’s french horn motif, hauntingly beautiful.

i’m too tired to come up with what goddard’s motifs would be (cutter, pryce, and rachel), but i might do them another time if this gets enough traction—

[nobodysdaydreams]

How I think random characters in Wolf359 would react to getting a B+ on an exam. Why? I don't know. I can't explain this, it just came to me.

Minkowski: Gets upset with herself and vows to study harder even though her grade was the highest one in the class

Hilbert: Berates himself for not staying focused and gets grumpy whenever anyone asks him how he did on the exam

Lovelace: Says "it is what it is" and shrugs it off

Jacobi: He would have also said "it is what it is" and shrugged it off, if not for the fact that Kepler would need to make an annoying comment about it like "not quite your best work Mr. Jacobi" and this would annoy Jacobi and he'd study harder out of spite.

Eiffel: Goes out to celebrate because it's the highest grade he's gotten all year. He frames the exam and mounts it on his wall next to his star wars poster.

Hera: Would be fine with a B+ until someone (Pryce) told her it "wasn't good enough". Maxwell, Eiffel, and Minkowski talk Hera out of believing this because I decided they are all friends in this fictional school AU I've created.

Kepler: Boldly and rudely tries to argue with the instructor to get points back for a better grade in front of the whole class. The entire time it's just him mansplaining the material incorrectly and saying a bunch of nonsense to hear himself talk, during which he questions the professor's intelligence and competency. By the end of it, he ends up with a lower grade than what he started with.

Rachel: She would also try to argue with the instructor to get points back in a very annoying high pitched "sorry sweetie, do you know who you're talking to?" voice. She either succeeds in getting a higher grade or threatens to go to the school board about this (which works, because she's blackmailing the board).

Maxwell: I don't think this would happen to her. However, if it did, she'd be disappointed, but would accept the result and move on.

Pryce: Unfortunately, this likely wouldn't happen to her either. However, if it did, she would not be able to get over it. Especially if anyone else (especially Hera) got a higher grade than her. Pryce would become obsessed with getting a perfect score every exam, which would gradually lead to the loss of her humanity and an emotional breakdown.

Cutter: Pretends to be okay with the grade, then secretly and calmly begins an elaborate decades long revenge plan against the instructor, eventually leading to them losing their home, job, family, reputation, and finances.

[clonerightsagenda]

It is Wolf 359 day (also known as Christmas for some) and since I saw a stoat photoset on my dash I feel compelled to post about daemon hcs.

Eiffel - Word of God is raccoon, and it fits. The poor thing probably looks like she has mange during the season 2/3 timeskip, since there's no way astronauts are stuffing their daemons in spacesuits - they must have to go through some kind of pre-mission training to lengthen their range. They are not trained to get blasted lightyears apart though, rip. That's gotta hurt. Once he's recovered from his ordeal though I'm sure he takes advantage of their massively extended range to cause problems. There's no way I stole those donuts from the Urania's stores, commander! I was here in the comms room the whole time.

Minkowski - white-tailed eagle. This bird is found in Poland, and some versions of the Polish flag have a white eagle. It's also similar to but not exactly like a bald eagle - showing how Minkowski aspires to assimilate into Americanness but can't completely abandon her Polish heritage. Plus pilot = bird, it tracks.

Hilbert - rosencrantz-draws-things did a series of daemon paintings for the characters and while I don't agree with all their choices, I did like chameleon for him. He changes roles and faces when he needs to, whatever helps him survive.

Lovelace - The painting series I referenced gives her lioness, which I don't hate, although the logistics are a bit messy for a space station environment. Given the backstory I've envisioned for her I kind of want to spend more time reading about Puerto Rican fauna and get back to you on this one. How does the daemon situation work with her being a surrogate? Unclear but it sure keeps her up at night!

Maxwell - Ferret! The wonder twins have mustelid vibes to me, and I am always charmed by the story of the ferret who cleaned out the tubing of a particle accelerator.

Jacobi - Stoat to match Maxwell. They are the mustelid twins now. It just feels right.

Kepler - idk I don't care about him.

Pryce - Coconut octopus. Something a little bit unusual and unexpected, requires specialized care and upkeep, and octopi are extremely intelligent, with this species actively modifying its situation via tool use. She can carry him around in his own special tank.

Cutter - I never settled (lol) on anything for him, but given I like the idea of him bodyhopping (this has been thoroughly debunked by Word of God but oh well) I imagine that he keeps around the old body's severed daemon as a smokescreen. This leads to a very animated, lively guy with a strangely inert, unfocused daemon which makes him even more unsettling to everyone. He's impossible to read.

Hera - I saved her for last because she's a special case. When AI reach sentience a block of code just pops up in their programming, and that's their daemon. They're not physical in the same way humans are - why would their soul be? However, product testing indicated humans preferred to see something daemonlike, so customer-facing AIs get holographic projections of cute, non-threatening animals like puppies or songbirds. Hera has a bird until Hilbert takes her offline. When she comes back, she has control over the projection and can make it look however she wants. It's not actually her daemon but she can use it to express herself in a similar way, including projecting her humansona, which scares the crap out of people the first few times they see a random stranger on board.

Daemons in microgravity would be their own headache. I imagine crewmembers get velcro pouches on their uniforms or toolbelts sized for their daemons to keep them from floating away. Smaller daemons are preferable in the same way that there's a height range for astronauts - this is why I'm conflicted about Lovelace. Also, you know I am a #hater of 'daemon touching = sex' in AU settings and believe there are multiple kinds of intimacy, and spaceflight involves everyone getting real cool about a lot of stuff real quickly, so I think by season 3 Minkowski and Eiffel at least are hanging on to each other's daemons when they're out on spacewalks both for convenience and emotional support. (Eiffel is still stressed out about it but more because he is really bad at holding a raptor and scared of getting slashed by talons.) Hera occasionally perches her projection on their shoulders which again doesn't mean the same thing to her but gets the message across. If Jacobi is working on something fiddly Maxwell will be wearing both their daemons around her neck, and vice versa.

Bob does not appear with a daemon while wearing his Eiffel suit. The alternative would probably be more upsetting.

[slyandthefamilybook]

okay here are my... face canons ? is that a thing? for the Wolf 359 main cast

Eiffel: Kinda goofy looking. Not conventionally attractive, but he grows on you. I imagine that the only care he puts towards his physical appearance is for sensory reasons (he shaves daily because he hates the feeling of stubble). Medium skin tone, soft eyes, long hair. Pretty much the generally accepted fanon appearance

Minkowski: I think Minkowski is actually fairly attractive, but in a subtle way. When she's on the Hephaestus she doesn't wear makeup and has her hair in a severe bun. But one day Eiffel finds one of her wedding photos and damn, she cleans up nice. She has a tattoo on her left forearm, but it's always covered by her jumpsuit. I think she's also the shortest of the cast

Hilbert: Obviously, Hilbert is canonically bald, so I'm not gonna mess with that. I think he has a short goatee which he grew for Hephaestus 2.0. I also like to imagine that Eiffel finds an old picture of Hilbert posing with his team in a lab in Russia, and while he's not conventionally attractive, he does have a certain magnatism. His eyes are cold and sharp as flint and his face is carved out of flat planes. He's also the tallest of the cast. Real beanpole of a man

Hera: I know everyone draws Hera with a face on a screen or as a hologram, but I don't think she has an appearance (beyond the hull of the Hephaestus). When we go into her mind, I think she's just a glowing featureless mannequin, or a ball of light

Lovelace: Lovelace looks like Cecelia Lynn-Jacobs. She just does. Look at her and tell me she doesn't

Kepler: Kepler is short. Well-muscled, but in a slim, athletic way. He's also the most conventionally attractive. I know there isn't a lot of competition for that title, but Kepler... he's a head-turner. He's always wearing a big smile, and he emotes primarily with his eyebrows.

Jacobi: Okay, hot take incoming. Jacobi... [🥁] is a fat, middle-aged man with a pate you could land a helicopter on. He has a dark, scraggly beard, and small but intelligent eyes. He's a bear. He's a bear. Bear Jacobi rights. He's always got a big smile, though, and seems warm and inviting (until you hear his lame sense of dad humor). Big man. Jacobi. Yeah..

Maxwell: Okay here's another hot take: Maxwell is alt. She has partially dyed hair in a side-shave, tons of piercings, permanent raccoon-eye eyeshadow. Her SI-5 uniform is black with red piping. She looks like a gamer girl. Kepler thinks she looks childish, but she's rocking it

Cutter: Cutter's face is entirely forgettable. Completely indistinct features. The second he leaves you forget what he looked like. He's just a guy

Pryce: With Pryce's obsession with "improving" herself, I think she's had so many botox injections she barely has a square inch of motile skin on her face left. Looks like a stretched balloon. It's really unsettling.

[crossguild]

spoilers for the finale but--

the wolf 359 sibling/only child dichotomy where sibling havers die and only children live to the end.

canon sibling havers: maxwell, hilbert, hui

canon (or supplementally) only children: minkowski, lovelace, pryce (orphan), hera (not a biological construct)

if you work backwards from the conclusion, one can presume that:

- lambert (too annoying to be an only child), fourier (middle child vibes), fisher (big bro vibes), cutter(only an eldest sibling could be that level of manipulative) and kepler (that man is way too patient with jacobi to be an only child) probably have siblings. young and riemann idk. gonna go with yes cause it's funny

- jacobi is an only child (do you think that man has ever had to share a living space with another child??), eiffel is also an only child (big latchkey kid vibes)

- lovelace has died multiple times but come back every time (many sibling-like cousins?)

[vamptastic]

spoilers ahead if you haven't listened to wolf 359 and you like scifi and/or story podcasts (or if you don't wanna read a long analysis post) PLEASE go watch it and ignore the rest of the post. its so so so good i promise.

so ive been re-listening to wolf 359 for probably the fifth time on my weird old outdated patched version of spotify. and spotify does this weird thing where if you play something else, then come back to a podcast ep you're not finished with it goes back a minute or so, presumably to help you remember what was going on. and i usually skip the last few minutes of each ep when the barrage of ads starts. which means that as i go back and listen to it for the nth time, if i forget to manually skip to the next episode, each episode starts by playing the last minute or so of the ep until i find my phone and rewind.

and its actually been a shockingly fun way to relisten, especially as the show goes further and further from silly goofy space hijinks to serious suspenseful drama (with occasional hijinks). i'm just struck by how purposeful each episode is later on in the show (and earlier, but the episodes get more...purposeful as the plot starts reaching its climax). there's exceptions, obviously, but the general structure is half the characters doing something silly, while the other half do something important and serious, and the two contrast each other. and even though the two situations seem disparate and tonally opposite at first, they always end up being more of a parallel than a foil by the end. usually, this kind of dawns me in an "oh, that's what the point of this episode was" moment brought on by the last few minutes of the episode.

one of my favorite episodes, ep 34 "a matter of perspective" is a great example. half the crew is trying to restore the signal for alien transmissions, the other half is playing a terrible board game. this is also in the pivotal part of the show before our evil corporate overlords show up where we're getting to know jacobi, maxwell, and keppler in a relatively short period of time compared to the rest of the cast, and i'm always impressed by how fleshed out they were when they got a lot less screentime.

anyway the contrast here is really interesting. keppler is demanding the impossible from eiffel, and the rest of the crew sans jacobi are trying to win an impossible game (the accursed funzo). at the end of the episode, jacobi explains why keppler is doing what he's doing (side note: the whole military "demand the impossible from your subordinates" thing is so insane), and keppler remembers the end to his joke: the pig, despite its usefulness, despite the fact that it does fucking taxes, is still being eaten. slowly but surely. it's such good insight into kepplers character its such good writing! he is a corporate slave who doesn't realize it, he is a deeply talented man who is letting his entire life be consumed by people who do not care about him and his wants and needs and happiness for a cause he will eventually learn is abjectly evil. meanwhile, maxwell, hera, lovelace, and minkowski finish their game of funzo by collectively losing after playing for 10 hours. they are also pouring time and energy into something pointless! everybody loses!

anyway the reason i even mention the whole spotify rewinding thing is that i never really noticed the point of this episode until i listened to the end of the pig joke first. which is probably on me, the metaphor is really obvious in hindsight, but up until now i just thought of the funzo part of the episode as haha silly board game time. having the thesis of the episode presented first is making me realize how genius the writing was in episodes i previously didn't get. i think the entire show is kinda like this, i could listen to it an endless number of times because each and every episode has some kind of double meaning that isn't always initially obvious, especially when you go in blind not knowing that things are getting serious.

the only other work i've read so far that does something similar is probably house of leaves, which is designed to make you read it over and over and search for meaning and has 3+ plots occurring at any given moment. i'm just really struck by how masterful the writing in wolf 359 is that it can achieve a similar feat without the meta elements, nebulous plot, and multiple narrators that house of leaves has.

short version: i think it's really fucking cool how the end of each wolf 359 episode presents the thesis of the episode in a non-obvious way, and listening to the series while having the last few minutes presented first is helping me understand what episodes i didn't previously appreciate were trying to get across. wolf 359 is really fucking good, basically.

[coteriedrables]

Wolf 359 post finally

Getting back to earth, and everyone, realizing that none of them really have anywhere to go.

Eiffel was in jail before mission, Lovelace is an alien clone, who is original was killed in action… technically Minkowski could return to her husband, but who knows at this point he may have moved on thinking his wife was dead.. Hera is an AI and a super computer. She is kind of stuck in her housing.

But Jacobi still had his apartment that he shared with Maxwell… she had projects in there and there probably was a unit that they could transfer Hera to there.

Hera would probably know enough between herself and Jacobi on how to transfer her to this housing just for the time being just until they find something better she doesn’t wanna be too far from her friends

And Eiffel goes with them following like a lost puppy. He doesn’t wanna leave her he has nowhere else to be.

Yeah he could go find his ex and his child but he is in no condition still even with that long, long journey he’s re-discovering himself he doesn’t want to go somewhere where he’s expected to perform in a certain manner quite yet.

Minkowski tries to go home first see her husband they break the story on what happened up there not all of it but the parts that evil NASA minimum… and she tries to rekindle. He’s gone for a while regardless. She keeps the people in charge from bothering her people.

Lovelace maybe follows back to Jacobi’s apartment at first and then quickly realizes she is not meant to settle down she has unfinished business. She needs to go the next kin of her crew. She needs to do anything she has to keep moving. She doesn’t know how to stop.

And honestly, neither does Jacobi.

After a few months Eiffel comes out of Maxwells old room, says good morning to Hera, and realizes Jacobi is gone. He doesn’t question it up, figuring his roommate is off at the store…. or I guess going on some short trip….ooor going on a longer trip I suppose. after a month he decides Jacobi is not coming back for a long while but rents due next week he knows that. He also knows that he doesn’t have any money still… Two days later there’s a letter in the mail

“Eiffel I’m sorry here is rent,” and Eiffel is confused, which admittedly is a fairly common feeling for him, but he doesn’t worry about rent. He doesn’t worry about a lot of things but he worries about everything. But somehow Jacobi has made sure he has enough to get by and to make sure that rent is paid usually with a little extra for a treat according to him…

And Eiffel is confused

A few weeks later, he sends out a call to Minkowski, Have you seen Jacobi have you heard from him? and then to Lovelace, Have you seen Jacobi? Have you heard from him? No one has heard from Jacobi… but it’s December who knows maybe he’ll be back by Christmas

[pomodoriyum]

there was a post about eiffel and now i cant stop thinking about who jacks it on the space station. sorry everyone. anyway heres my list.

eiffel: definitely. frequently.

minkowski: yeah probably occasionally. esp as stress relief

lovelace: much less the more stressed she gets. almost never after she returns to the hephaestus the second time round. maybe she tries a few times as a distraction from the agonies but. it doesnt work. had an average sex drive before she went to space. after she returns idk. probably fluctuates as she figures out how to be comfortable in her own skin again

hera: not sure if she would be motivated to or if she would try out of curiosity? idk heras probably curious about it but doesnt have interest for it?

hilbert: he probably jacked it at least once the first time he was in space. to see what it was like. also i generally feel like he had a fairly normal sex drive when he was under the age of. forty ish. his attitude towards jacking off is that its in the same category of body maintenance as eating, washing, etc. his sex drive during the series is v low. hes too tired and busy with other things

jacobi: probably a few times when he was mad about something. i dont actually think jacobi has that high of a sex drive either way, but hes absolutely into pissing people off / sexually frustrating them. it doesnt necessarily get him going but he does like the rush/sense of power when hes managed to get someone else going and/or frustrated

maxwell: yea she probably jacks off fairly regularly. totally average sex drive. shes like very professional about the whole thing and probably has figured out a way for hera to voluntarily exclude knowing about/being forced to know about it

kepler: i think this guy was so into the performance of his mission/ so intense about command that he wouldnt let himself be vulnerable enough to jack off. maybe like. every once in a while. when everyone else is asleep and hera isnt available to be aware of whats going on. has a normal sex drive on earth though i think

cutter: this guy thinks of sex as a tool. he probably jerks it every now and then but i think hes mostly in the game to see how much he can manipulate people with sex. its closely intertwined with power for him

pryce: probably not at all, since it’s mildly undignified and annoying. she’s ‘improved’ it right out of her system

rachel: shes the one who definitely brought a toy or two with her to space. she jerks off only once in a while though.

riemann: we dont know enough about this guy for me to say. probably jacked it in space though

[aro-geo-turtle]

been re-listening to wolf 359 and man from late s3 through the first half of s4 Jacobi does NOT have a good time. Like everyone has a shitty time on this shitty spaceship, but especially in this section Eiffel, Hera, Minkowski, and Lovelace are really leaning on and relying on each other and being friends. Even Shut Up and Listen and Constructive Criticism are the group trying to work together to solve their issues.

Jacobi has NOBODY. He got dragged up here on this weird space job with his best friend forever and his insane boss/sort of friend/guy he has a weird gay thing with and it's fine. It's a weird, isolated, long mission, but for months its just another mission.

Then he listens to himself die, screaming, in agony. Then he spends three weeks in quiet terror that maybe it was the real him who died and he's the copy, the fake.

Then in one blisteringly chaotic moment, he listens to his bff, his number one person, die, at the same moment that he pulls a trigger and kills a man. And Kepler, his number two person, whom he trusts with all his soul, whose saved his life countless times, whom he may even love, lets it happen. He could have backed down and surrendered but he didn't. And now Lovelace, Hilbert, and Maxwell are all dead.

And he can think about is the confirmation that it was actually the clone who died, that he's actually the real him.

And then he sees Lovelace come back. And suddenly he's been working alongside an alien spy for months, and Kepler knew the whole damn time, and never told him, never told his 2nd in command, his trusted partner.

And he's left to work along side the woman who killed his bff and share a cell with the man who utterly shattered his trust.

No wonder he completely snaps in Dirty Work

[commsroom]

i need to relisten to wolf359 bc it was YEARS ago so i don't remember much, but i have this specific idea about hera post-canon

i don't remember if they get her onto the escape vessel (im pretty sure they have to? she has the power of navigation being a literal slave station?) but when they get back to earth, in the chaos that ensues, jacobi makes sure to somehow... store hera? only her personality matrix, if that's possible. he could break into the high performance computing cluster of some university and store her in a little known spot, then "break her out" later.

i don't remember how much in character this is (he seemed a bit more chummy with the haephestus crew by this point), but i imagined him building either (1) a robot body (who knows how common that is on earth at this point) or (2) an eyepiece and earpiece for here's personality to exist in, so she can in SOME way go out, see the world and talk to them still once they're off the escape vessel.

i want her to still be with them even when they're not on a ship anymore.

first: you should absolutely relisten! and you should let me know your thoughts, when you relisten. especially if it's been years, i'd be really curious to know if and how your opinions have changed!

thankfully, you remember right - hera does go back with them, and the final scene and sentiment of the show definitely implies that eiffel, hera, and minkowski intend to stick together. they would fight for her to stay with them. which does get potentially complicated, from both a legal and practical standpoint.

(and i won't get into my thoughts about post-canon jacobi here, but i will say... he went to MIT and was friends with maxwell; he's more likely than eiffel or minkowski or lovelace to know people who know people who could maybe help hera. and wolf 359 loves to put characters in situations where they have to rely on people they don't particularly like. they've even done that with jacobi and hera specifically - ep 57. "sure. fine. as long as it's not jacobi doing it, it's fine." cut to jacobi doing it. of course.)

i don't think AI is actually that common in the world of wolf 359; hera is the first AI eiffel and minkowski have met, and even maxwell, working for the "best AI research lab in the country" was unaware of the existence of "full-minded" AI (however that's defined) until she was recruited by goddard in 2013. my impression is that it's, like, something people are aware of, but it's still very detached from the average person's life, and AI personhood is not even a consideration yet. having an android body would definitely make hera... visible, in some ways that she might not like.

maybe worth noting that goddard is also very into biotech, and there's some interesting... overlap with that and the dear listeners' duplicates in terms of what it asks about 'artificiality', in my opinion. wolf 359 is very much a show about humanity, and i think any post-canon extension of those themes would have to be about... learning to be a person on earth, with all that entails, and the way that applies to hera's situation is meaningful to me. all of which is just kind of a rambling way to say, yes, i'm also totally in favor of hera having a body. like, on one hand, because i think there's something to it as a discussion about disability and bodies in general, with the way it would re-contextualize her experiences on the hephaestus and the pain she's been living with - and that a lot of things she experienced without a body and felt were unique to her, she would still experience with one. but i also think it's the best option for her; i really think anything else would by design deny her autonomy and freedom of movement on earth. from a more sentimental standpoint, i just want her to be able to go to a real beach and put her hands in the ocean.

[silentassassin21]

Because I just randomly started thinking about it, here's what I think the Wolf 359 character's favourite kpop girl groups/idols are (sorry bg stans. also very varying levels of thought went into these lol):

Eiffel - he's such a second gen snob. his faves are f(x) and wonder girls, so he never found out they disbanded. post-finale eiffel is less of a snob (though he still prefers second gen) and he adores iz*one, following all of those girls post-iz*one.

Minkowski - soloists > groups. her fave is iu and when she gets back to earth she becomes obsessed with taeyeon.

Hera - nugu stan queen, secretly runs nugu promoter. favourites are purple kiss, ily:1 and lightsum, but secretly her ult is weeekly.

Hilbert - this is the one time i'm not going to adhere to the timeline bc i just know hilbert would be into loona and i can't explain why. he's particularly a 1/3 stan and thinks plastic candy is super underrated. generally tho, he's all about christian horse girl music.

Lovelace - she adores boa more than anything. also f(x), snsd, wonder girls and hyuna (she and eiffel have a big bonding moment over this). when she gets back to earth, she discovers twice and they immediately become her new ult.

Kepler - i know deep in my bones that kepler listens to brown eyed girls religiously. rip kepler, you would have loved warm hole.

Maxwell - the only group she really cared about was red velvet, and she was a ride or die. rip alana maxwell, you would have loved chill kill and 28 reasons.

Jacobi - maxwell got him into red velvet and then it was all downhill for him from there. he stans like fifty groups/idols across all gens but he rides hard for 2ne1, mamamoo, red velvet and brown eyed girls (he and kepler don't know that the other is obsessed with them). when he gets back to earth, he becomes obsessed with clc and doesn't realise they've disbanded until he's in too deep.

[chooseruin]

Wolf 359: D&D Edition

Almost a decade behind the rest of the internet, I have discovered Wolf 359. I have also been watching a shit-ton of D&D build videos. The end result was probably inevitable. (This is definitely more of an overall Vibe Translation; to actually replicate anyone's canon bullshit I'm pretty sure you'd want something like SW5E or Starfinder. Except Eiffel. Eiffel is the only full-class character on this list and that class just works regardless. Life is wild.)

Eiffel: straight spirits bard. Seriously. As written this one is all about the gothic vibes, but if you wanted to be an inexplicably lovable nerd who talks to aliens through the radio and buffs the party somewhat unpredictably by means of bewildering pop culture references, that is legit a cosmetic reflavoring only. When he casts Calm Emotions it defuses the situation by making everyone really annoyed with him instead.

Hera: warforged aberrant mind sorcerer/tempest cleric. She of all people would really benefit from using a different system, but if you were in a hurry, I'm pretty sure you could fake it by 1. ruling that the station counted as both heavy armor for her core processors and an enormous spellcasting focus; 2. adapting the panic attack mechanic from Fantasy High.

Minkowski: lightfoot halfling champion fighter/order cleric. This is not solely a short joke; I also think Minkowski deserves the ability to reroll ones. (In a setting with more melee combat, I'd probably go cavalier over champion, that being kind of the ultimate mom-arm fighter subclass, but they don't necessarily get to do a lot with ranged attacks. I passed on devotion pally for much the same reason.)

Hilbert: alchemist artificer/divination wizard. The wizard levels are there in large part because Portent is the save-killer and Hera is actually going to end up with a halfway decent Wisdom modifier and advantage on charm saves. Also because extra spell slots.

Lovelace: hexblood gloomstalker ranger/celestial warlock. After some deliberation I went hexblood because the surveillance potential of Eerie Token is such a nice fit for her early-arc paranoia. Also, you don't have to tell me how MAD this build is; I know. On the other hand, she is probably a few levels ahead of some other characters, and does your martial attack stat need to be perfect when you can get Archery and Improved Pact Weapon?

Kepler: mastermind rogue/battlemaster fighter. The quintessential controlling SOB power build, not much to add. He and Lovelace both have the Inspiring Leader feat, which is absolutely hilarious to everyone involved except for them.

Jacobi: artillerist artificer/war magic wizard. Yes, I did just make Jacobi an INT-based 0.75 caster. What about it?

Maxwell: ... genuinely I am pretty sure the only way to get any of the right flavor for this is with the completely dead archivist artificer UA. (They did recycle some bits and pieces of that one for the scribes wizard, but that ended up being more or less of a specialized blaster, which isn't quite quite.) Plus a divination wizard dip, same reason as Hilbert.

[nobodysdaydreams]

Well...

...that could have gone better.

(Also it turns out Lovelace IS an alien. 👽 so that's fun, I think?)

(or my reaction to episodes 44-46 of Wolf359)

Welcome back dear readers, sorry for the delay. Procrastinating on finals has been taking up all of my time, thank you for your understanding.

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom

Episode 44: Desperate Times

Now where were we? Ah yes. Cutter lied about their deaths and has an evil girlfriend who makes his robots. Hilbert and Lovelace told Minkowski about the death thing to get her on board, and once they have her, she should be able to get Doug and Hera on board.

Great point Doug. How many secret rooms can one space station have?

And how many copies of the SI-5? Because we already had two Duck boys. If another Kepler strolls in and starts talking about Whiskey again, that might just be too much for me.

No Minkowski. You don't want to kill anyone. But I understand.

Wow. Doug knows some fancy words. "Commander Eiffel" 😂

Oh, they're actually laughing. I'm sorry Doug. Wow, he just made that up too, very convincing.

Aw, Minkowski. I want to hug her. If she doesn't make it back to her husband...

oh yay, she and Doug are talking it out! Friends! My feelings exactly Hera! 💕💕💕

Hera is so sweet. It's weird to think she was built by and modeled after someone so horrible.

Ah. Taking a late night stroll around the ship Hilbert?

Hilbert. NO. NO NO NO NO NO. NOT THE EVIL CHAIR.

Evil chair will kill you. Evil chair will show them your brain which shows them your plan to rebel against them. Do not trust the evil chair Hilbert. For a smart man, you make some remarkably and unbelievably dumb decisions.

I want to believe in them. I do, I really really do. But unfortunately, I know that there is an entire other season left. So...

It's not looking good. Personally, I think the most expendable is Hilbert. They can kill the character off without having to fire the actor. If anyone's about to die, it's him.

The "terrible trio", I like it Doug. Good nickname for SI-5.

The um...the blunt force trauma face?

Oh my this hypothetical of Maxwell, Kepler, and Jacobi falling apart is music, sweet music.

If only...if only.

They are really counting on the SI-5 acting exactly like this. I hope they get it right. I do love the way they make Whiskey Boy out to be such a cartoon villain. He really is.

Oh they're conflicted about who to target. That's right Hera. Target Duck boy. I mean...they did already kill him once, right?

Although slight problem. Let's say they do kill SI-5. Let's say they try to fly the ship back to earth. Can't Cutter just blow the ship up remotely? He'll probably send a missel after them before they even get into the atmosphere. I mean...what would you even do in this situation? He's literally got them bargaining for every second of their lives. Makes you wonder how many teams he has out there like this...

What happened? No gas? Oh dear. Plan B?

HIT MAXWELL WITH A WRENCH? POP A WEASEL?

I don't like how this is going.

"I'm glad I have you alone" Hilbert stop it.

Opponent is not going to hesitate to kill you. That's true. But you can't forget who the enemies are. Cutter and Pryce. And yes. SOMETHING IS WRONG!

Oh dear. Well this is terribly awkward.

...um...so...Maxwell. Duck Boy. Fancy a mutiny?

Guess not. Oh dear. This is bad. This is very very bad.

IS NOT ABOUT THE CONTACT EVENT! IT'S ABOUT THEM GETTING BACK AND YOU KNOW IT.

I KNEW THAT YOU COULDN'T TRUST HER.

"Don't struggle?"

Not the brain sweeping. Maxwell you have lost all my respect, and likely your own if you still had any left in you.

Shut up Duck Boy, literally no one wants to hear from you.

Well this is a pickle. How will our heroes (and Hilbert) get out of this one? 👀

Episode 45: Desperate Measures

"Wakey-wakey", shut up errand boys.

"Passion for disciplining crew members, isn't that right Jacobi?" You're a sadist waste of space who works for a sadist waste of space, we got that Whiskey Boy.

Oh great. Another super secret room. There's probably thousands of them at this rate. A whole city in the sky.

What a nice little room of weapons. As a lover of dramatic irony, I do hope Dr. Robot and our dear Errand Boys find themselves on the other side of those weapons.

Hera you can delay having to respond to her commands! You can! Remember: You can't do this. You're not good enough. Use it to your advantage.

"I knew it!" you did Doug. And yeah, Hilbert didn't sink so low.

"Kill whoever you like least", well there goes Hilbert.

Good work Hera! 🥰 Oh dear it hurts.

THE VENTS! That's right! Go Minkowski!

Geez does Whiskey Boy ever tire of the sound of his own voice? I guess not.

Shut it Kepler! Yeah Doug! He can go to hell! Tell him off!

Doug: "You're crazy"

Kepler: "No Doug. I'm just a man that wants to be taken seriously. That's why I'm sitting here with a gun in one hand, glass of Whisky in the other, while singing "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe" like a cartoon supervillain. There's nothing more respectable or serious than that."

Lovelace is speaking FACTS. He has lost his humanity. But um...ironically so might have Lovelace. Or all of them still unclear on that.

"You're hilarious" "one more thing I have that you don't" ooohhh... dang, it that ain't the truth. No one will be as funny as Doug, but if anyone comes close it's certainly not Whisky boy.

"Very nice speech captain" Well it was better than the Whisky speech Kepler. Take notes.

That's right Lovelace. Who cares what Kepler see when he looks at you? No one. Because he is a waste of space.

She'll survive because of magic alien plot armor.

Aw, she did it for Doug. That's really sweet.

And...off goes the gun. But no screams. He better not have shot Doug.

"You have 30 minutes to think about what you've done. Then we'll talk about Eiffel."

I know I should be furious over the whole "what you've done" comment, but I gotta ask, how dangerously stupid is Kepler? 30 minutes is plenty of time to put a plan into action. What does Kepler need 30 minutes for? Swirling his Whisky around and telling Doug how much he loves the feel of it in his hands.

Why don't you mind your own business Maxwell? Why don't you shut up and mind your own business and throw yourself in the airlock?

Good stalling Hera...yes! Finally knocked out Dr. Robot. Now, as much as I am against murder, eye for an eye, and all that...in this situation, keeping her alive puts multiple innocents at risk.

Anyone got an eye on Duck Boy?

Kepler doesn't care about Maxwell! He doesn't care about anyone!

Doug...great speech for this to work, he has to care about human life, and he clearly doesn't.

Yeah, I don't really like chess either Doug.

Why do I feel like he's going to hurt Hera in a way that only Maxwell can fix?

Ah there he is. "I wouldn't do that so someone. I just blow people up to kill them! :)" ugh Duck Boy is the worst. I knew that he was off doing something silly. "Crazy Jacobi the loose canon" dude, you're Duck Boy. That's your existence.

And I knew Hilbert would be the one to go. They don't have to fire his voice actor to kill him, which makes him expendable.

Well it took a very long time to get here, but looks like Hilbert is finally gonna kick the bucket. And yeah, you guys have no idea how long they've been trying to kill Hilbert. If it was Doug, I'd be more worried, but between Hilbert and Doug, Doug's got the plot armor.

And...there he goes! Oh wait...did she shoot Maxwell! Oh be quiet Jacobi, it's not like you ever actually cared about her. If Cutter or Kepler ordered you to kill her, you would have done it.

You can't talk sense into him Doug. He's a nutcase. We established that.

I love Doug. "Well it's been a topsy-turvy day!"

And see Kepler? Not so fun playing with lives when yours is on the chopping block, now is it?

Yes Doug! Tell him! Oh poor Whisky Boy, are you gonna cry?

Right three people dead: Lovelace, Hilbert, and Maxwell. That's a lot. My money is on Lovelace coming back due to alien magic, Hilbert dead for good, maybe Maxwell lives on in Hera's memory or flashback land.

YES! I love Doug's loyalty to Minkowski!

Does Kepler have an escape pod? I feel like he would. Oh he's telling his duck boy to stand down. But duck boy doesn't seem too happy about that. I guess he cared a bit more for Maxwell than Kepler, even if he would have shot her if given the order.

"Finally over" hm...I seriously doubt that.

Ah yes the aliens. I wonder what they have to say about all this. And Kepler please shut up. "You want to be in charge of this mess, fine." The mutiny literally just happened on your watch. You spent half the crew budget on expensive Whiskey. You don't care at all that Maxwell is dead.

Episode 46: Bolero

Is that music? Um... what is this? I do wonder why they chose to send music, when they've demonstrated that they can send voices.

Yeah...this is a lot. And they lost their human doctor and robot doctor. As much as I hated them, they were useful. Unlike the errand boys, who only seem to be good a cowering in fear from ducks and giving speeches about whisky.

Oh and apparently they like music too. How nice.

"If the commander wishes for silence, then silence she shall have" and yet you're still talking.

Yeah...what do they do now. They have to warn everyone, expose Cutter and get him to jail, but the aliens are also invading. Oh gosh, are Cutter and Pryce aliens? Is this a plot to replace humanity with aliens? That at least makes more sense than Cutter's a loon who just wants to take a gander at some dangerous aliens, but why do I get the feeling that "Cutter's crazy" is what's actually happening here?

Oh right Kepler's special DNA. But your DNA still works even if it's detached from your body, right? 🧬

"We owe it to Lovelace, Hilbert, and Maxwell..." good work Doug. They were evil, they were flawed, but they were still humans.

Oh Hera. Wow, we don't have funerals for animals???? Yikes... I'm starting to see how she was modeled after Pryce now. In that case, I wonder what happened to Pryce. Also Hera, I get what you're saying, but that's an insult to animals. Many cats and dogs I've met are very loyal, kind, and useful.

oh dear she's talking to Lovelace's ghost/memory. 🥺 It's not your fault Minkowski. It was never your fault. And yeah...you all deserve to make it home.

That is if there is even a home to come back to...

Doug, Hera, come on. You're best friends. Wow. And yeah, she and Maxwell were friends, that's why she's so upset! Oh right...if one human friend betrayed her...oh Hera...Doug's not like her you know that! Maxwell would sell you out, Jacobi would sell her out, and Kepler would sell him out, but Doug? Doug would never sell anyone out.

"I know what it's like to not get a chance to say goodbye. And I don't think you're past the point of not caring. Not yet." That's sweet Doug. But you're giving him a bit too much credit. Oh he's mad he killed her? Fair enough, but Jacobi...you said yourself you were monsters! Do you really want to try to claim the moral high ground here? That's right Doug! Tell him! "You're gonna like it...I mean you're gonna feel sad!" Yeah! That's right! Shove the compassion down his throat Doug. Sometimes that's the way you gotta do it.

Minkowski is gonna have some pretty severe PTSD after this. I want to hug her.

Oh no, Hera's remembering Maxwell. "Was everything you did for me part of a secret evil plan?" it's not that simple Hera. Bad people can do good things. Good people can do bad things. Cognitive dissonance Hera, that's how it's possible. Compartmentalization. Circular and deluded thinking. And fake Maxwell is right. It's about you Hera. It's not about her. Forget about Maxwell. Forget about Pryce. You're better than them, and more human too.

Yes Hera, get the feelings out. No, Doug she's coming around!

Oh no...no no no...Doug is wasted isn't he? Kepler's private supply no doubt...oh no... oh Doug.

"I killed them Hera." no you didn't Doug! Intentions matter! You are the ship's moral compass. Don't drink yourself off.

"I'm a drunken mess whether I have a drink or not." oh Doug. Doug.

Please don't give yourself alcohol poison. Oh good self-talk from Hilbert. Yeah Doug never wanted anyone to die.

"How else did you think this was going to end?"

Aw, Doug has so much hope. Never lose that Doug. Never lose it. And yeah, it's nice to believe in redemption. It is theoretically possible. Though in certain cases, highly unlikely. I won't name names.

So...it's just Doug and Jacobi at the funeral? Well. This is incredibly awkward...

Oh right, Hera's never been to a funeral...

Oh nvm Kepler's here for the food. He's so gross.

They gave Hera grief but no way to deal with it? Oh she can't understand why they are gone? The "I wonder if I'll miss you when you go away forever too" is hitting different.

Minkowski came through!

Wow, Jacobi actually is able to say a few nice words.

Dr. Hilbert was a monster 😂. Fair. Completely fair. See ya later Doc. I think Hilbert would have liked it.

Oh don't let Kepler talk. He'd ruin the funeral. Though to be fair, he'd ruin anything.

Never mind looks like the aliens beat him to the punch.

Looks like the aliens decided to come early.

Uh...HERA?

KEEPING WHAT OUT?

Tell me the aliens aren't already here.

Is Lovelace coming back? Oh Kepler knew this was going to happen.

"It can't hear you." DO NOT CALL HER AN IT KEPLER. Alien or not, she's a...well she's a someone.

So she IS an alien? An alien who acts like her? Okay... and yes please, let's start at the beginning. It's about time Kepler. If you're going to talk, you might as well say something useful.

Now I've procrastinated enough but...wow this doesn't look good. Hopefully the crew can get back safely.