#but there’s so much detail here that’s just… missed out on… in the films

[killerlookz]

Growing Pains | Spencer Reid

pairing: s2!spencer reid x gn! reader

description: after spending what felt like an eternity pining over Spencer Reid, the two of you finally began moving towards becoming something... until his run-in with Tobias Hankel seemed to put a stop to every aspect of Spencer's life, even his relationship with you.

details: Spencer's post-revelations related trauma, angst! and fluff (hurt with comfort), sporadic flashbacks

word count: 2,321

i hate that i can't love you, but I'm just in the way / but you say i won't be here forever, and you'll take as long as it takes

Your cold hands ached as they struggled to make a fist, raising that balled-up hand to the dark, wooded door.

Every day for the last week and a half you'd come to this very door, that of your friend, Spencer Reid. And every day for the last week and a half you would knock on the door and hope with anxious breaths for an answer. Only to receive no response.

Part of you would worry he was dead if it wasn't for the fact that at the very least he had managed to at least call out of work each and every day. It was so typical of Spencer ,it almost made you smile. Even after all of the trauma he had just gone through, he still made sure to call out of work. No one expected to see him back at the BAU for a while. Not after Tobias Hankel.

Despite all too much of it having been live-streamed directly to you and the rest of the BAU, you knew very little of what had actually happened to Spencer in the time he had been taken by Tobias Hankel, nobody did. And the truth is, you barely knew of what was live-streamed. Maybe it made you "weak" in comparison to the rest of the team, but you just couldn't bear to look at Spencer in that state. The anxiety of not knowing whether or not Spencer was going to live was already too much to handle- even now, knowing he was safe, you still had trouble sleeping, the scenario of having not made it in time playing through your mind over and over again.

Knock, knock, knock

You held your breath in anticipation as your hands hit the door, you bit your lip in a painful desperation. Please, Spencer. You beg, your voice cracking as you whisper to yourself.

No response.

It wasn't like Spencer to not talk to you, especially not for days on end. The two of you had been friends since the academy. You were instantly drawn to him, maybe it was his impressive memory, or how passionate he was about his work, maybe it was his awkward boyish charm, or his sweet smile, or how his eyes lit up when he won a game of chess or cards, and the way he scrunched his nose whenever he laughed, maybe it was the way his sweaters never fit just right, and his socks never matched, or-

It was more than sufficient to say that you had fallen head over heels for Spencer, more than you had for anyone else in your life, you were in love. He was kind, and inviting, and you could never understand why everyone else seemed to make fun of him. And finally after what felt like an eternity of pining, and planning for the perfect moment- a french film marathon at Spencer's apartment and a few too many glasses of cheap wine was what let your feelings slip. You could still feel the way your stomach dropped as the words left your tongue,

"You know I love you, Spence"

"Yeah- like- as a friend." He stuttered, obviously caught off guard

You could have saved yourself then, played it cool, and said yes, but before you could stop yourself your head was shaking no.

Spencer's eyes widened and the corners of his mouth curled into a sheepish smile, "Really?" He looks down at his lap, his fingers rapidly tapping against his knee, "I- wow- I-" He shakes his head and looks back at you, "I love you too."

With a few blinks you find yourself back in reality. You could only live in memories for so long. You sighed, as tears welled up in your eyes. Part of you wondered if you were being selfish, crying about how you missed him when he was going through so much worse.

You wiped your stinging eyes, fuck it. You needed to know how he was doing. You reach into the pocket of your coat, feeling around before gripping the cool metal of your key ring. You pull it out of your pocket before gripping the keys that hung from it tightly in your hands. The dull metal pressed into the skin of your hands, and your cold, stiff fingers gripped harder to the point where it hurt. You closed your eyes, wincing as you tightened your fist around the metal even harder, trying to convince yourself to go through with your plan. At some point of you and Spencer "going steady" you had exchanged keys to each other's apartments.

You released the key ring from your grip, a red indent left in the palm of your aching hand. You sift through the various keys and with a loud jingling sound, the other keys fell to the bottom of the ring as you gripped the key to Spencer's apartment between your thumb and index finger. You sigh once more, telling yourself the worst that could happen is if he really doesn't want to see you he will tell you to leave and you will listen.

You push the key into the lock and twist it until you can turn the door handle. The door opens with a creak, and you step into the dark apartment, careful to close the door softly behind you. You can barely see two feet in front of you, all the lights are off and the blinds are drawn. Your hand slides up a wall as you fumble around for a light switch, flicking on the soft, warm wall light next to the door. You blink a few times, getting used to the light before your gaze darts over to the kitchen table. The apartment was almost unrecognizable. It was cluttered to a degree that you had never seen from Spencer before. He was usually so well organized. But now, papers, takeout containers, and half-drunken cups of coffee were scattered around the dark wooden surface.

It broke your heart to see Spencer's living spaces in such disarray, if this is what his apartment looked like, you couldn't even bear to think about what you might find if you were to peek inside his mind. Even with the lights now on, the dark green walls of the apartment never felt this dark to you.

You tread softly toward his bedroom, careful not to make too much noise against the creaky wood of his apartment floor. Part of you was aware of how creepy this seemed- and you worried maybe you'd scare Spencer by entering his room. Still- maybe it was selfish, but you missed him too much to allow another day go by without seeing him. Allowing Spencer to just stay holed up in his apartment for days on end was not going to do anything for anyone.

You press your hand against Spencer's bedroom door, it's opened just a crack and you're able to push the door open with a small creak. The room isn't as dark as the rest of his apartment, a few small beams of light from the setting sun peek into the small room from blinds that haven't been fully closed, drenching it with a warm orange color.

Spener's clothes are scattered throughout the room, and his brown leather bag had been thrown on the ground near the door, papers and books spilling out of it. You could almost guarantee it had been in that spot from the moment he got home from that dreaded case.

Your eyes flick up to the bed in the middle of the room where Spencer lay, his face down, stuffed into the pillows. His comforter had been kicked to the side, and the fitted sheet had come off one of the corners of the mattress.

You wondered just how much Spencer had actually left his bed since he had gotten home, the takeout containers and coffee cups in the dining room signified to you at least he did at some point leave his bedroom. Still, the sorry state of everything made you want to cry. How could anyone do this to him?

You slip off your shoes, and inch across the soft carpet closer to the bed, careful not to step on any of the clothes that were strewn about the floor.

"Spencer," You say, just above a whisper, attempting to let him know of your presence. He barely even stirs in response to the noise, turning onto his side deep in sleep.

As you got closer to the bed you could see him more clearly. His hair was a mess, long curly strands stuck to his cheeks with sweat, his eyes shut tight and his mouth almost turned down into a frown. Even in sleep, he looked so upset, so tortured. It made you sick to your stomach to even think about what he could have been dreaming about.

"Spencer?" You say again, weaker this time- your voice trembling with nerves.

No response.

You sigh, pulling off your jacket and allowing it to collect on the floor with the rest of the scattered clothes. You sit down on the edge of the bed and think carefully about your next move. You don't want to frighten him, but it may be impossible not to not after you basically broke in.

You reach a delicate hand outward and move a couple pieces of Spencer's hair from his cheek. His head moves slightly in response, but you continue to smooth your hand down the rest of the length of his hair. You can tell it's tangled, even without combing your fingers through it. You let your hand fall further, down his neck, resting on his bare back. He's warm to the touch as you rub soft circles on the exposed skin.

"Spencer?" You say again, louder this time leaning your body towards him.

His eyes flick open and he's jolted awake, swatting your arm away as a gasp leaves his mouth.

"H-hey," You grab his arm to prevent him from swinging any further, "It's just me Spence."

He stares at you wide-eyed, pupils dilated with a mix of confusion and fear. His throat rises with a thick swallow and his lip trembles. You begin speaking frantically,

"I-I'm so sorry I didn't mean to fright-"

"W-what are you doing here?" He asks, his voice is weak but there's a pointedness to his question.

"I just- I wanted to make sure you were okay- I haven't heard from you in a while and I was so worried about you I just-" Your brain was going a mile a minute before all of a sudden... your train of thought disappears as you look into Spencer's obviously pained eyes. His eyes blink rapidly as he attempts to hold back tears. The sheets have fallen off of him and his bare chest is shiny with sweat as it rises and falls rapidly. You let go of his arm, letting it drop down beside him. "I'm sorry," You whisper, too saddened at the state of him to continue.

Spencer stares at you for another moment before looking down, a single tear dripping down his pale cheek. Even now, like this he was still beautiful to you. And despite everything you couldn't help but for your heart to fill with love. But as your heart felt with love, the rest of your body overflowed with anxiety as you contemplated what to even do or say next. You stutter,

"D-do you want me to leave-"

"No." Spencer cuts you off. "Stay." He looks back up at you, "Please." His eyes are wet with tears that threaten to escape down his face.

"Of course," You nod, "of course," softer this time.

"Can we lay down?" Spencer asks, twisting his face. You nod fervently, swinging your legs onto the bed. You pat the pillow next to you, beckoning Spencer to lie back down. He does so, slowly, and you follow, your faces inches from each other, heads on the same pillow.

You inch yourself closer to Spencer, heat radiating off of his trembling body. You place a hand upon his cheek, stroking your thumb slowly back and forth.

"Am I ever going to be okay?" Spencer sniffles. The question feels like a knife had been stabbed right through your heart.

"Of course you will, Spence, " You assure, soft yet firm.

"It doesn't feel like it," He shakes his head, forcing your hand to fall from its spot on his cheek.

"These things take time, lots and lots of time."

"Yeah but-" He starts, getting choked up again, "What if you don't want to wait for me?"

"Wait for you?" You ask, confused as to what he meant.

"If I'm like this for too long." He answers, "You won't want to be around anymore."

"Oh Spencer," you shake your head, "No, no" You put your hand back onto his cheek.

"I feel like such a burden- that's why I haven't called," His voice breaks as he starts crying, really crying this time, "I mean- I'm an FBI agent, I should be able to get through this. Everyone else on the team would be back to work in an instant. And I can't even get out of bed."

"Spencer." You cut off his ramblings, "You are not a burden- you could have died, Spencer, no one is expecting you to be alright."

"I feel like I should be." He pauses, "I just don't want everyone to sit around worrying about me, I don't want you to sit around worrying about me. It's not fair."

"I worry because I care." You relay a small smile, "Because I love you."

"And that's what I'm afraid of, one day you'll realize you've spent so much effort worrying about me that you won't want to love me anymore."

"Never." You wipe the tears from Spencer's eyes, trying to give him gentle reassurance. "I'd wait forever for you to be okay."

a/n: woah long time no post? I haven't posted a fic on here in almost two years! sorry I'm a little rusty, I've been deeeep in a creative rut. I'm accepting requests now however, Ive missed you guys!

[voxaholic]

The Worst Day

A ficlet that got out of hand for @randomly--accessed--memories

Vox accidentally stumbles into the basement studio where he was tortured into insanity. Velvette finds him and Valentino is forced to leave mid-shoot because Vox needs him.

Part 1 of 2

Content Warnings: It's Valentino's pov, I feel like that's a warning in of itself.

Beta-read by the lovely @redladydeath

Vox is missing. It’s not exactly an uncommon occurrence, especially on his more lucid days when he remembers that he can travel through electricity and therefore that Valentino and Velvette can’t actually stop him from going anywhere. He never ends up going far and they’ve finally managed to make it so that he mostly can’t leave the tower, but that doesn’t mean it’s not stressful enough to give Val spiritual grey hairs every time it happens.

Velvette is the only one searching for Vox this time because the film he’s currently supervising is gonna be a big moneymaker and apparently the useless idiots he has under contract can’t do their damn job right without his constant fucking supervision. So, instead of helping Velvette, he’s stuck sitting next to a prattling Travis trying to hold himself back from wringing the fucker’s feathery neck since Travis is the director and he unfortunately kind of needs him in one piece today.

Then, his phone rings and he holds up a hand right in Travis’s face. He’s at the very least smart enough to take that as the sign to shut up that it is. Before he even answers the phone there’s already a sinking feeling in his stomach. If Vel had found Vox and he was okay, she would have just texted.

He answers the call, holds the phone to his ear and immediately has to jerk it away when the sound of electronic screeching nearly deafens him. “I found Vox, we need you now. We’re in the studio basement, bring the kit,” Velvette shouts over the sound of what Val now realizes must be Vox freaking out in the background.

He stands up abruptly. “I’ll be there in five,” he says before he hangs up and shoves his phone in his pocket and turns his attention briefly to the useless fucks gaping at him. “Shows over. Keep on task. I’ll be back when I’m back and I’ll fucking know if any of you’ve been slacking,” he snaps before he turns and leaves.

In the hallway, he stops to pick up what he and Vel have begun calling “the kit”– a Vox specific first aid kit that they’d put together shortly after Vox first “woke up”. He knows where to look at this point- doesn’t even have to squint to see it. 

Kit in hand, he leaves the main area of the tower and squints down at his phone following the directions that Velvette gave him to where she and Vox are. The tower really feels too fucking big sometimes.

Valentino thinks he can count the number of times he’s stepped foot on this level of the tower on one hand. Why does he even have a creepy basement studio anyways? Whose idea was this? Was it his? If it was, he must’ve been high as balls to think of it, and if it wasn’t, then he should find whoever’s idea it was and shoot the fucker.

It’s dark as shit down here and the light of his phone isn’t doing much. He’s making progress though, he thinks. The gps seems to think he’s going the right way and he’ll trust that over his shitty eyes.

All unrelated thoughts are pushed from his mind when he spies the vague blob in the corner that he knows must be Vox and Velvette. He can’t make out any details but he notices that both figures are covered in an alarming amount of the horribly distinctive blue of Vox’s strange blood. Suddenly, the pungent, chemical scent of coolant is overwhelming.

Valentino breaks into a sprint and quickly closes the remaining distance between them.

Velvette has Vox backed up into a corner, a hand on each of Vox’s wrists, trying both to hold him still and stem the bleeding. Holy shit, that’s a lot of blood. Vox did a fucking number on himself, those gashes are deep. Something silver glints out from the mess of blue and Val suddenly feels nauseous. Vox had never clawed himself to the bone before.

“The hell are you doing just standing there? Fucking help me!” Velvette snaps, screaming to be heard over Vox’s panicked electronic gibberish. Vox is fighting her the best he can considering how weak he must be from blood loss. Velvette is holding her own,, but even in his weakened state, Vox still has over two feet on her heightwise, so she’s struggling.

He hurries over and kneels down so that he’s at eye-level with the struggling, panicking ex-overlord.  “Voxxy?” he calls, voice softening into a tone he pretty much only uses with Vox on his worst days.

Vox stops thrashing when he sees him. Velvette releases Vox and moves aside to let him half stumble, half crawl into Valentino’s waiting arms, absolutely covering him in that neon blue blood of his. For some fucking reason, despite being either scared or confused by him on his more lucid days, when Vox is like this – out of his mind, terrified, vulnerable – Valentino is the only person able to calm him down; the only one he seems to trust.

Velvette leans forward to snatch the first aid kit he’d dropped. He tactfully pretends not to notice the way her hands shake when she opens it and pulls out a needle and thread. “Keep him calm and as still as possible. I need to try and fix the bloody mess he made of himself,” she instructs and it’s a testament to how serious the situation is that Val listens to her without complaint. There’s little he hates more than being ordered around. 

He adjusts his hold on Vox, so that Velvette can grab Vox’s right arm and then reaches into the kit to grab some gauze, which he immediately wraps around Vox’s left, putting pressure on the wound by wrapping his hand around Vox’s thin – and so fucking fragile – wrist. It’s going to take Vel time to get one arm done, so he should probably try and make sure Vox doesn’t bleed out in the meantime. 

They’ll have to call up one of Vox’s on-call repair guys later. Vox doesn’t really heal like normal sinners– doesn’t heal at all, in fact. He has to be repaired, his broken parts replaced. They don’t have the knowledge or equipment necessary to replace the damaged panels on his arms, so the bandaid solution of stitching the torn, synthetic skin back together is all they fucking can do for now.

Vox, for his part, is remarkably still and pliant, screen buried in Valentino’s ruff. He’s shaking like a whore going through withdrawal though and making these awful little staticky whimpering noises that Val is trying hard not to pay too much attention to because they are kind of breaking his heart a little bit. He previously wasn’t even aware he had a heart capable of breaking, but he’s learned so many fun new things about himself since that radio bastard ruined Vox, ruined everything. 

“So, you have any idea what set him off this badly?” Val asks, mostly to try and drown out the pitiful sounds Vox continues to make whenever Velvette makes another stitch. He is curious though. Vox can get bad, but usually not to this extent. He’s torn up not just his arms (although they certainly got the worst of it) but his whole torso, with what little remains of his shirt hanging in blood-stained shreds off his frame. 

“No clue,” Velvette replies just a little bit too quickly, her shoulders tense, eyes averted. Oh, she’s lying through her fucking teeth. Really, she’s usually better at lying than this. Valentino considers pushing but decides against it– he really does not care right now. She’s lucky that he doesn’t because usually he fucking despises being lied to, especially so poorly. 

Instead of replying, he watches Velvette work with morbid fascination. Her stitches aren’t neat exactly– hard to be when Vox is shaking and the synthetic flesh is ripped so jaggedly and uneven– but they’ll do until Vox’s nerds can fix him up properly. The red thread really pops out against the dark blue of Vox’s skin, it’s almost pretty in a really morbid way. He wonders if stitchplay is a thing. This could be pretty sexy in a different context.

Vox’s shaking suddenly transitions into violent full-body spasms and his background staticked noises of pain turn into a glitched out, inhuman screech as he tries to jerk his arm out of Vel’s grasp, causing her to reflexively tighten her grip and yank Vox’s arm back. That only freaks Vox out more and now he’s struggling in earnest, almost to the point Val can’t keep a hold on him.

“Val!” Velvette snaps between curses as she struggles to keep Vox from reopening his brand new stitches. That’s his cue to do something because he’s supposed to fix this some-fucking-how.

With the one hand that’s not occupied with keeping hold of some part of Vox, Valentino grabs the edge of Vox’s screen, forcing him to look up at him. Vox’s face is flickering in and out, pupils darting, mouth twisted in either agony or terror, probably both. 

“I’ve got you,” he soothes, fingers tracing gently across the glass that makes up the equivalent of Vox’s cheek. He continues to murmur soothing nonsense and pet names to him. He really doubts Vox can understand a thing. It doesn’t seem to matter what he says as long as he’s the one who’s saying it. 

There’s a whoosh of air from Vox’s vents before he goes limp in Val’s arms again, head only supported by Val, expression dazed. Valentino carefully guides his face back into his neck ruff, grimacing a bit at the way his fur immediately puffs up due to the static. Aah, the things he endures for this man.

“Don’t stop talking,” Velvette demands and he’s struck by how novel it is for her to ask that of him. Usually, she’s one of the few people who can get away with telling him to shut up and she abuses that privilege liberally. “He freaked out because you shut up. I’d like to get this done without any more meltdowns,” she explains because of course she couldn’t just let him think she enjoyed the sound of his beautiful voice.

“Hmn, what should I talk about?” he muses aloud, fingers idly tracing the back of Vox’s monitor. “Liiike, should I just talk to myself or am I gonna get the privilege of having you as a conversation partner?” he asks teasingly.

That gets him a frigid glare in return and Vel sighs like she’s carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. “It doesn’t fucking matter. Just– I’m really not in the mood right now, Val.” 

Okay, well, fuck him for trying to lighten the mood. Talking to himself it is since Velvette’s being such a bitch about the situation and not even in the cool way she normally is.

He settles on bitching about the useless fucks back at the studio, because that is a topic he’s always willing to go on about and it’s not one Velvette’s usually willing to listen to, but he kind of has her hostage now, so fuck her. Valentino allows the annoyed scowl on her face to soothe the bubbling rage in the pit of his stomach as he rants about how Angel Dust has been taking over three fucking minutes to respond to his texts recently.

He’s on his sixth Angel-related story when Velvette finishes stitching and begins winding gauze around Vox’s arm. He hates how the bandages make Vox somehow seem even smaller, more visibly broken. He holds Vox a little tighter.

Velvette brushes some of her hair out of her face and God, she’s a mess. Her hair is all fucked up and she’s absolutely covered in blood– mostly Vox’s but a little bit of her’s from where Vox’s claws nicked her in his struggle.

“Okay, fuck, one down, one to go. Flip him over for me,” she instructs and Val knows what she means but he’s immediately hit with the mental image of flipping Vox over with a spatula like he’s a pancake.

He doesn’t tell Vel about his hilarious thought because he’s apparently not allowed to even try and make this shitty situation even slightly less miserable. He just does what she tells him to, even if the high-pitched noise of alarm Vox makes when he pulls his screen from his chest to reposition him makes him desperately wish there was someone or something around he could maim.

It takes at least another half an hour for Velvette to finish with his left arm and she does so not a moment too soon because somehow, Val was about to run out of people to complain about. He was really scraping the bottom of the barrel there for a sec.

“You’re not gonna let me flake out on the shoot, are you?” Val asks as Velvette puts the thread and gauze back in the kit. The last thing he wants is to go back to the shoot with Vox in his arms, but with the state he’s in, they both know he’s not going to be able to be left alone. 

“I can’t make you do shit, but we both know how much is riding on this movie selling well,” she responds and Val can’t help but groan. She’s right. They both know she is and he fucking hates that.

“Ugh, fine, but you can’t bitch at me if I shoot a bitch or two,” he concedes as he stands up, Vox still held securely in his arms. God, Vox is hot as Hell, in a literal sense. It feels like he’s hugging an overheated laptop. The rest of this day is going to suck, but whatever, it’s not like the past several years of his afterlife haven’t also sucked. It’s not like he has much hope left of it - of Vox - getting any better.

[jorvikzelda]

I started reading Lord of the Rings (bought Fellowship of the Ring like… last spring but never got around to starting) and I’d just like to say. Holy fuck what a slow book. You mean to tell me I’m over a hundred pages in and this man is only just leaving the Shire? Sign me up for MORE I love this shit. Tolkien said “I will take exactly as much time as I want to describe things and you will like it”. AND I DO

[hier--soir]

bite the bullet

joel miller x f!reader

rating: explicit, 18+ mdni summary: two idiots finally bite the bullet and admit how they feel. warnings/tags: [18+ minors DNI] fwb!joel, age gap [20 years], angst, miscommunication, a meddling Tommy Miller, soft sleepy sex, oral [f], unprotected piv, masturbation [f], rimming, sixty-nine, both of them are assholes for a minute, resolved emotional tension. word count: 9.4k [i got carried away sorry!] series masterlist | masterlist this is part four of my fwb!joel series. you can find the other parts here: one, two, three.

Everything was wet.

Your feet squelched against the ground as you moved, little flicks of water splashing up against your shins with every step. Inside waterlogged shoes your socks clung uncomfortably to your skin.

Tommy was crouched underneath your sink, inspecting the u-bend of the pipe there, his lower half damp from the water that covered the floor of your kitchen.

“It’s definitely comin’ from in here,” his muffled voice came, and you groaned, rubbing a hand over your face in exasperation. “I can stop it, but it’s gonna take some time for the place to dry out. I’d say you’d better clear out for a few days, leave a few windows open.”

You’d had a nice day. A lovely day, even. And you’d been looking forward to curling up with a whiskey and a good book before bed. But upon returning home from the greenhouse, you’d been horrified to find the entrance of your home covered in a thin layer of water. Splashing down the hall, you’d discovered that the entire place was wet; a shiny film of liquid coating anything that touched the ground. The wooden floorboards were soaked to the bone with cold water. A fucking flood. Thankfully Tommy was right, and you trusted that the August humidity would naturally dry it out with enough time.

“I can’t just stay here? I didn’t think it was too bad,” you lied. “Could lay down some towels.”

Tommy laughed under the sink. “You know you’ll get sick if you’re sleeping around all this water – towels or no towels.”

“Okay,” you acquiesced, gazing at the floor glumly. “Okay, yeah, I suppose I’ll uh… I’ll get some stuff together.”

“Joel would take you,” his said, and you snapped back to reality, staring at his back while he worked. You could practically hear the grin in his voice. When you didn’t respond, his head reappeared, and he looked at you curiously, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind his ear. “You and Joel are pals, right? Pals help each other out.”

Pals, you thought cynically. That’s one word for it.

Two weeks had slowly passed since the Peterson incident, and you’d only seen Tommy’s older brother a handful of times. There was still a tense energy between the two of you, so you’d been keeping your distance a little, allowing things to cool off. Bumping into each other here and there, dinner on the same table at the hall… but no alone time. No real time that would leave you two open to actually talking about it. That didn’t mean it didn’t play on your mind, though. Oh boy did it. In fact, most days you’d catch yourself gazing into a pot plant, thinking about that night. The way he’d taken you, made you tell him the details about Peterson, the way he’d showed you he fucking owned you. You couldn’t wrap your head around the way it had made you feel, and so you avoided it, even though your chest ached with the Joel-sized hole his absence had left in it. At least you weren’t so stubborn that you couldn’t admit to yourself how much you missed him.   

Your eyes narrowed suspiciously, and Tommy gave a polite shrug, smirking at you. Testing you. A huff escaped your lips, and you broke eye contact, stretching out your shoulder. “Yeah, alright, I’ll ask him,” you agreed begrudgingly, brain whirring trying to come up with excuses. “It’s late though, and he might not want me there.”

“It’s not that late, but sure,” he chuckled knowingly, going back to work on the pipe. “When hell freezes over and Joel says no to you, you let me know.”  

An hour later, you were on your best friend’s porch, a bag slung over your arm, hesitating with your knuckle raised in the air. Taking a deep breath and running through what you were going to say, you finally willed yourself to rap your fist twice against the wood.

After a moment, the door swung open to reveal Joel, in a soft wrinkled t-shirt.

An easy, involuntary smile spread across your face upon seeing him. His beard was a little longer than he usually kept it, greys sparkling through the dark hair that framed his mouth so handsomely. He had clearly been settling down for the night, and he looked oh so cosy dressed in his sleep clothes.

“Hey man,” you offered up a sheepish smile.

He looked appropriately surprised to see you, considering you certainly hadn’t been knocking on his door at any point in the past fortnight. One of his eyebrows hitched upward, and he eyed the bag over your shoulder warily. “You skippin’ town or something? Who’d you piss off this time?”

You rolled your eyes and readjusted the duffel. “You gonna let me inside? This thing’s kind of heavy.”

He stepped back into the entryway with a grunt, allowing you to breeze past him and dump the bag onto the ground with a low thud. “Pipe under my sink is busted. Flooded the whole place today – Tommy said I should clear out for a day or two.”

He hummed, narrowed eyes raking over your face. “Oh yeah? So where you gonna go?” he teased, and relief rushed through your veins like warm water as you recognised the smirk threatening to take over his face.  

You gave him a small laugh and sighed, holding your arms out in mock surrender. “Come on, Miller,” you said. “Let me crash here – I’ll owe you one.”

“Owe me one, huh?” his eyes shone with mischief. “Well I like the sound of that.” An odd, twisting sensation rippled through your stomach and you sucked your lips into your mouth, nodding slowly.

“Sure,” you retorted. “Whatever you want, it’s yours.” When the words left your lips you both stilled, staring at each other warily.

He hummed, eyes darkening a fraction. “You’re playin’ with fire,” is all he said, before bending down to pick the bag up off the ground and ushering you towards the stairs.

You wondered off ahead of him, and when you reached the landing you veered right, pushing open the door to the spare room. He didn’t follow you in immediately, instead pausing in the doorway with a frown plastered across his face. You hadn’t thought about where you’d be sleeping until the second you reached the top of the stairs, but you knew this was the right decision. Sharing a bed with Joel for a few days? Probably not a good idea. Unless of course, that was going to be how you repaid your debt…Thankfully, or unfortunately, he didn’t push it, dropping the bag gently in the corner of the room.

“Hope Ellie won’t be bothered I’m here for a few days,” you thought aloud. The tone noticeably shifted, and you almost at how Joel seemed to deflate.  

He leant an arm against the doorframe and sighed. “She ain’t spendin’ much time in the house these days,” he admitted quietly. “Stays in the bungalow or goes out. I doubt you’ll even see her.”

You hesitated for a second before asking, “Have you two spoken much lately?”

He scratched his chin for a moment. “You know the kid,” he shrugged. “She’s stubborn. M’tryin’ not to push it.” 

“It’ll be okay, Joel,” you offered softly. “She’ll come around.”

He assessed you silently, eyes flitting down your body before resting on your face once again, and then he stepped back into the hall. Coughing awkwardly, he raised a hand in a sort of farewell, and said, “Well, uh, you know where everything is. I’m gonna… I was gonna head to bed, I guess.”

“Okay,” you nodded, watching as he turned to head toward his room.

“Hey, Joel, wait,” you called, and he turned, eyes glimmering with something you couldn’t quite place. I miss you, you wanted to say. I miss you, and I’m sorry things are off between us, and I wish we could forget it all and go back to normal, and I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. “Thank you,” you said instead, voice soft. “I really appreciate this.”

The look in his eyes dimmed a little but he offered up a smile. He nodded once, said, “Glad to have you here,” and then closed his bedroom door, and leaving you alone with your thoughts.

After showering and unpacking the few things you brought along, you curled up in the foreign bed. The mattress was soft enough though, and the sheets smelled like the soap Joel used. Your body ached from a long day of work, muscles tense and wired from hauling heavy pots around under the sun. Soon enough, you began to relax enough to drift off to sleep. Only a few hours into the night though, your dreams were interrupted by the sound of soft footsteps padding across the landing. A beam of soft yellow light was shone into the room, painting the inside of your eyelids orange. Cracking an eye open, you saw that the door was ajar, and a tall figure was peering in.

“Joel?” you asked groggily, dragging a knuckle over your eyes.

“Yeah, it’s just me,” his deep voice came, but he made no move to enter the room. “Sorry to wake you.”

“Are you okay?”

“Can’t sleep,” he said softly, and your heart clenched.

Pulling the blankets open on the empty side of the bed, you didn’t even think before you said, “Get in.”

Your head fell heavily into the pillows, and sleep tried to pull you back under as you listened to Joel shuffle across the room and slide into the bed beside you. For a moment, he just laid there, a sizeable gap between you on the mattress. And then his warm, firm body was pressing up against your back, his large palm sliding over your hip to rest on your stomach and guide you back against his chest. His scent overwhelmed you, hints of mint and soap and pine tickling your nose, and fuck you had missed him. it was so familiar, and yet your body tingled as if it was the first time he’d ever laid a hand on you. Through the haze that settled over your sleep addled brain, you could feel him, stiff against your thigh.

“Jesus,” you teased drowsily, throwing caution to the wind by rubbing yourself back against him. “Were you having a dream about me or something?”

His nose traced a long down the back of your neck and you fought off a shiver. “Always dream about you.” If you weren’t so tired, that probably would’ve garnered a bigger reaction from you. But as it were, you just brought a hand down to rest over his on your stomach and gripped his fingers softly. “Was thinkin’ bout you being so close, yet still so far. Just down the hall, sleepin’ in my sheets…”

You hummed, warmth flooding your abdomen as he nudged his hips forward, rutting himself against you. His hand drifted out from under yours to slide up underneath your shirt, his thumb stroking the sensitive skin just below your breast.

“Joel,” you murmured, eyelids heavy.

He hummed eagerly, planting a soft kiss underneath your ear.

“I‘m so tired,” you said regretfully. “It’s been a long day – can hardly keep m’eyes open.”

“Let me help you fall asleep,” is all he said, hand now freely roaming over your chest. His thumb lightly brushed the firm peak of your nipple and your whole body shuddered. “Just relax.”

You were vaguely aware of him pulling the covers off you and moving down the bed, dragging soft kisses down your stomach, before dragging your underwear down your legs. Slumping into the soft bed, you allowed your eyes to flutter closed.

Gentle, reverent kisses were pressed over your hip bones as he settled between your legs, pulling one of your thighs up to rest over his shoulder. His long fingers rubbed over the muscles in your leg, pressing down gently when he found knots, pulling deep sighs of contentment out of you.  

“That feels nice,” you whispered into the darkness, and you could’ve sworn you felt him grin against your hip.

When his nose dragged through the dark hair on your mound you twitched slightly, body waking up a little at the sensation. But it was gone as quickly as it came, and you relaxed again, humming lowly as his pressed a kiss against the inner most point of your thigh.

It felt like hours passed with him between your legs. At first you allowed yourself to slip in and out of near sleep, eyes closed as lax puffs of air escaped your mouth while his tongue dipped gently between your folds, giving you soft lazy strokes that warmed your insides. When the first bit of slick began to seep out of you, he groaned gratefully, licking and sucking at your entrance, exulting in your taste.  

It felt like you were dreaming. Laying pliant on the bed, you were fully at his mercy, allowing him to move your legs anyway he wanted to give himself better access. You could vaguely hear him murmuring against your skin, but couldn’t make out the words over your own sighs, smiling sleepily as his tongue lapped against you. He worked slowly, and you realised that it was as much for his enjoyment as it was for your own. You knew by that point how much Joel enjoyed going down on you. He had told you as much on multiple occasions; how he’d love to spend hours with his face trapped between your thighs. But he’d never had the chance, or the patience, to really do it.

The sounds of his enjoyment vibrated against your core, echoing through the room around you. The way he fucking moaned into your cunt never failed to drive you crazy, but in that moment you just smiled at the sound, enjoying how peaceful it was, how sweet.

Every now and then you’d lazily blink your eyes open and look down, expecting that at any moment he’d pull away, be over it. But he never did. Every time you looked his eyes were closed, hands gripping your thighs softly, thumbs stroking rhythmically against your skin as content breaths rushed out of his nose, and you’d close your eyes again, the dark image of him scorched into the inside of your eyelids, never to be forgotten.

You started to feel more awake when he finally gave his undivided attention to the achingly sensitive bundle of nerves at the apex of your core. Moving painfully slow, he glided his firm tongue across your clit, switching it up between swiping back and forth across it and then circling it.

“Oh,” you murmured lowly, voice hoarse from lack of use, but you couldn’t help the soft exclamation as your hips shifted upwards, suddenly searching for more. He didn’t change a thing, pace never increasing or slowing down, and it was perfect.

Your orgasm washed over you in gentle waves. Joel’s tongue swirled slow, gentle circles around your clit and your thighs tensed around his head, fingers reaching down to softly rake through his curls. He hummed happily, tongue lathing against you, enjoying every second of your release. Only pausing once your body stopped twitching and the muscles in your thighs relaxed against him, before kissing way up your stomach, your neck, under he was holding himself over you.

Eyes still closed, your hands drifted to the back of his neck and you pulled him down, his weight crushing against you but you didn’t care. Yours lips met tentatively, and for a moment that was all it was. A soft, gentle kiss. And then you felt him, straining against his briefs, pressed between your thighs, and you pushed your tongue into his mouth. It was messy and slow, tongues tangling together, teeth knocking awkwardly, and you found yourself smiling into his mouth. It should have unnerved you. Should’ve been enough to make you stop, turn your head away and make him fuck you rough so you would forget how intensely intimate the moment felt. But you didn’t.

“You should sleep,” he murmured against your lips, pulling his hips back a little so his erection wasn’t so obvious.

“You should come inside me,” you whispered back, reaching down to grip the band of his underwear and tug them down over his hips. He groaned and kissed you again before reaching down to free himself from the confines of his underwear.  

No other words were exchanged as he adjusted himself, and then he was pressing into you, his needy moans spilling out against your neck while your hand snuck underneath his shirt, fingernails gliding down his back as he filled you completely.

“God, I missed you,” he choked out, voice cracking. You whimpered softly. “You’re so wet.”

“Made me feel so good, Joel,” you preened, kissing the side of his head.

“Yeah?” he pulled his face out of your neck to look at you, and you nodded, staring at him through bleary eyes. Joel kissed you again. A long, yearning kiss that made your heart throb, and it didn’t take long until he was falling apart on top of you, shaking against your arms that wrapped around him, held him against your chest. You whispered praises in his ear as he came, hips grinding into yours, pushing himself so deep inside that it had you gasping into his mouth. It was so unlike any other time you’d ever slept with him, and alarm bells rang somewhere far in the deep recess of your brain, but you ignored them. You’d missed each other, and you’d both earned a little softness after the time apart. And so the two of you fell asleep like that; tangled in each other’s arms, with him still inside you.

You woke up to the sun streaming in through the window. The light was harsh, and you cursed yourself for going to sleep without drawing the curtains. You went to sit up in the bed but stopped suddenly, realising how hot you were. With a soft start, you glanced down and understanding jolted through you like a flash of lightning. Joel’s house, you remembered; you were at Joel’s house. But what you hadn’t expected to find was Joel still in the bed, arms coiled around you like wire while he snored quietly in your ear. For as many times the two of you had slept together, neither of you had ever slept over. It was an unspoken rule, and one that had never been difficult to follow. But he’d broken it… or you’d both broken it, maybe. Keeping your body as still as possible, you found yourself breathing deeply, trying to maintain the allusion of still being asleep to avoid rousing him from his slumber. Frustratingly, your heart pounded in your chest, brain zeroing in on every part of your body that touched his.

His soft lips brushed the back of your neck, heavy breaths puffing against your skin. A solid knee was wedged between your legs, one hand lazily gripping your breast. The insides of your thighs were sticky where his come had leaked out of you overnight, and your eyes widened at the sensation. 

What surprised you the most wasn’t that you didn’t hate waking up with him beside you. No, what surprised you most was that you did like it. In fact, you found yourself longing to relax into his arms and go back to sleep. But common sense reared its head, and you slowly slipped out of his grasp, moving slowly so as not to wake him while you dragged yourself out of the bed. Staring down at Joel, a pang of fondness rush through your chest. Messy curls were strewn across his forehead, plump lips pushed out into a pout as he breathed deeply, hand resting on the empty bed where you had just laid. His breathing hitched momentarily, and you froze, realising how odd it would be for him to wake up and catch you standing there naked, staring. Trying not to give it another thought, you quietly collected some clothes from your bag, and slipped out of the room to start your day.

Hours passed in the greenhouse. You distracted yourself with cucumber seeds and tomato plants, pushing Joel out of your mind as you worked under the sweltering sun. Underneath the glass roof of the nursery, the heat multiplied, and by the time your shift was over you were covered in sweat, shirt ticking uncomfortably tight to your back. You stopped by at the community hall for dinner and ate alone, your brain a whirlwind of thoughts of Joel, Joel, Joel. You couldn’t shake the feeling that had lingered in your bones all day; the aching desire to have stayed in bed with him, to have relaxed into his arms and cuddled him for the rest of the morning. Your best friend, for fuck’s sake.

“Christ,” you mumbled aloud through a mouthful of food, rolling your eyes at yourself.

It felt like you were going crazy, but the worst part was understanding that this must’ve been how he’d been feeling for weeks already.

I’ve never asked you for anything. Not for anything more than what we’ve been doin’, never pushed you for more.

That’s what he’d said, two weeks ago, the day he found out about Peterson. The words played in your head like a mantra. Words that you had firmly avoided bringing up, ones you’d never pushed for an explanation about. You’d chosen to sweep them under the rug, and yet, as hard as you tried, you couldn’t fucking forget them.

By the time you returned to his house you discovered him sitting on the couch downstairs, engrossed in a book. It was the picture of domesticity. The sweet scent of vanilla floated through the air towards you, and you noted the small candle burning on the table beside him.

Staying in Joel’s home, even for just one night, you’d noticed so much more about it than ever before. There was something interesting to look at everywhere you turned, and sweet-scented candles were just the tip of the iceberg. He left random objects littered across countertops, like little treasures for you to stop and inspect during your travels throughout the house. Wood that he’d whittled into interesting shapes, books that he’d read the first few pages of and then abandoned, countless mugs in odd places with dark brown coffee stains at the bottom of them. It was homey, and warm, and subconsciously you found yourself enjoying the insight into his most private space – into the things he did when he was truly alone.

Joel hadn’t noticed you come in, so you seized the opportunity to watch him from the doorway for a moment. He was wearing his comfortable clothes again, and a thin set of reading glasses were perched on the scarred bridge of his nose. A quick flash of heat tore through your stomach. You’d never seen him wear those before, and it had you stumped. The glasses, paired with the salt and pepper through his beard and hair, reminded you of his age. Twenty years older than you, and still the most handsome man you knew.

You finally broke the silence, announcing yourself by asking, “What’re you reading?”

Joel’s head snapped up, and he stared at you over the top of his glasses. Shutting the book quickly, he straightened up on the couch. “Uh, Brave New World,” he lied, flipping the book so you couldn’t see the cover.

You hummed, unconvinced, and bit down on your bottom lip to hide a smirk. Tommy had told you once before that Joel was a sucker for gothic romance novels, but you’d never truly believed him until that moment. From where you stood, you recognised the tattered copy of Wuthering Heights that had gone missing from your bedroom a few months prior.

A flush rose in his cheeks and he coughed awkwardly, picking up a mug that you hadn’t noticed on the floor by his feet. It was cute; a little beige ceramic thing, with an owl painted on it.

“You see the patrol roster for tomorrow?” he spoke into the mug, swiftly changing the subject.

“I did,” you murmured. What you didn’t acknowledge, was that you’d also seen Peterson and Davis’ names on the list for the morning patrol. “Should be nice. We haven’t gone to the ski lodge in a while.”

A vivid memory of you two fucking up there raced through your mind, and a low heat simmered across your face as you remembered Jesse and Dina almost catching you once. Shaking the thought from your mind, you looked at him again to find him gripping the mug tightly, lips pursed in thought.

“We haven’t,” he agreed lowly, and the corner of his mouth twitched a little. “You haven’t been gettin’ called outside the gates much at all these days.”

This is it, you thought hungrily. This is the moment he tells you how he can’t wait to fuck you there tomorrow while you’re supposed to be patrolling. This is the moment he tells you he can’t even wait until tomorrow, and he drags you upstairs to his bed. Warmth flooded through your thighs, and you held your breath, staring at him.

But Joel didn’t say that. Instead, you watched dejectedly from the doorway as he rose slowly from the couch and tucked the tattered book underneath his arm. “Well,” he coughed, turning towards the stairs. “I’m gonna get some shut eye. It’ll be a warm day, and I’d better get some rest before we head out.”

You watched him move towards the stairs, heart beating painfully fast against your ribs.

“I’m actually not tired,” you blurted out. Joel paused. His left hand gripped the banister, and you could’ve sworn it might break in half based on the way his knuckles went white.

“Well, I am,” he said over his shoulder, before padding up towards his room , not even turning to give you a second look.

You tossed and turned for an hour, staring at the ceiling wide awake. The linen sheets stuck to your sweaty skin, making you feel claustrophobic enough to kick them to the end of the bed. You waited for him. Every creak and groan the old house made had your ears twitching, eyes glancing eagerly toward the door, expecting it to creak open and reveal him sneaking in through the darkness.

And when it became clear that he wasn’t coming, you pushed away the uncomfortable feeling it brought, and snaked a hand past the band of your underwear. Your fingers raked over the coarse hair there, teasing yourself for a moment, before you slid a finger through your damp folds. Collecting your slick, you dragged it up to coat your throbbing nerves and sighed in relief.

Your middle finger dragged quick circles over your clit, and all you could picture was Joel above you, fucking you while wearing those stupid fucking glasses. Cursing him in your mind, you pressed a finger past your entrance, and huffed in frustration at how it paled in comparison to the thickness of his digits. You imagined the way the glasses would fall to the tip of his nose, almost falling off his face while he fucked you so hard you saw stars. In an attempt to stifle the soft moans trying to escape your mouth, you bit down on your bottom lip, fingers moving quicker against yourself. And you came like that; hand down your underwear, rubbing yourself frantically, thinking about nothing but him.

It was hot, and the skin of your thighs chafed painfully as you and Joel ambled silently through the stables, getting your horses from their stalls to saddle up. He hadn’t said much to you all morning and you were trying not to read into it, but the fraught silence had you on edge.  

You winced upon spotting Davis and Peterson standing by the gate, chatting while they loaded their rifles. Lloyd caught your eye and smiled, offering a short nod in your direction. You returned the nod before looking back down and fiddling with Japan’s saddle, hoping Joel hadn’t noticed.

“Gimme a sec,” he muttered. “Gotta go pick Jesse’s brain.”

You hummed in acknowledgement and continued tugging on the straps of the saddle, until your skin prickled, a presence looming over your shoulder.

“Should we see if we can swap partners?” that voice sounded, and you turned to see Lloyd smirking suggestively at you. “Send Davis and Miller out East together, and you and me could head to the ski lodge?”

Your palms dampened a little and your eyes darted around the stables. There was no denying that Lloyd Peterson was a handsome guy. He was young, somewhere in his early-twenties. He had bright green eyes that shone in contrast against the dark brown hue of his skin. Straight, bright white teeth almost blinded you whenever he smiled, and you’d have to be a robot not to be effected by it. Past his shoulder, you spotted Joel hovering at the mouth of the stables, gaze trained on the pair of you. Caught, he turned quickly, muttering under his breath as he stalked off toward Jesse.

You looked back to Lloyd and shook your head once. “I don’t think so,” you said. “Gonna stick with Miller today.”

Not giving him much chance to respond, you gripped Japan’s reigns and led her out of the building. Joel and Jesse were talking in hushed tones by the gate, and you walked in their direction, pausing a few metres away when you noticed how tense the conversation seemed to be. Jesse was frowning at the older man, shaking his head slowly.

“Hey,” Lloyd’s voice came again, and you turned with a sigh, raising a hand to block out the sun as you stared up at him. “Can we talk?”

“Talk,” you rushed out, glancing to the side just as Joel appeared beside you, holding out a rifle. You shouldered it quickly, noticing the way Lloyd seemed to balk at the older man’s presence. “Peterson,” you urged, eager to get it over with. “Get on with it.”

He spared another awkward glance at Joel before speaking in a lowered voice. “Did I do something wrong?” You cringed, knowing Joel could hear every word, and yet he didn’t move a muscle. It seemed he wasn’t going anywhere, eyes trained on the man, uninterested in offering the pair of you any privacy to finish your conversation. “I thought we had a good time, y’know? But you’ve been avoiding me.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” you replied plainly, even as the thought of him telling Davis about fucking you flashed through your mind. Joel was deadly quiet, eyes flicking between the pair of you like he was watching a game of tennis. You sighed deeply, wishing this wasn’t happening in front of him. In a moment of almost… shame, you realised that you didn’t want Joel to get the wrong idea. Didn’t want him to think that anything else had happened, or would ever happen, between you and Peterson.

“Then why won’t yo-“

“Why don’t you back off kid,” Joel interrupted suddenly, and your shoulders tensed, skin prickling at his harsh tone. “She’s not interested.”

Lloyd flinched at the words, and he looked to you, waiting for you to say something, to refute Joel’s claim. But you were distracted by the sudden warmth in your abdomen, and when you didn’t react quick enough he scoffed quietly, spinning on his heel and walking back where Davis was waiting with their horses. When you looked at Joel, he had a pleased smirk on his face, and you felt your stomach fall somewhat, guilt spreading through you at the way Lloyd rode out of the settlement without looking back.

The ride to the ski lodge was long. For the most part of the three hour trek, you rode alongside each other in silence, until finally you couldn’t help yourself, thoughts tumbling from your mouth.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you said quietly.

Joel looked at you out of the corner of his eye, and didn’t say a word.

“He was already embarrassed,” you added. His top lip curled up into a mean smirk.

“Peterson’s an ass. He should be embarrassed.”

A huff escaped your mouth and then he was turning, looking at you fully now with his eyebrows pinched together.

“What, your little boyfriend can’t handle some friendly teasin’?” he sneered, the change in mood so sudden you almost fell off your horse. And all the warmth you’d felt, every soft yearning part inside of you toward him, you pushed it to the side and focused on the confusion instead, allowing it to morph into pure anger. You were seeing red; furious with him for never being able to just see reason.

“Oh, fuck off Joel,” you scowled. “I’m not doing this with you today.” You kicked your heel against Japan’s hide and rode ahead, not listening for a reaction.

The higher the pair of you rode up the mountain, the hotter it got. By the time the horses were tied up by a trough of water and the pair of you were walking into the lodge, sweat was rolling down your skin in rivulets. A headache brewed in your temples, and frustration weighed heavily on your chest as Joel huffed and puffed around the room. Even being able to hear his breathing across the room while he scrawled in the logbook was enough to set your skin on edge. Eager to get some space from the tense atmosphere, you gruffly told him that you were taking first patrol, before shouldering your rifle and stalking back outside into the heat.

“You idiot,” you scowled to yourself, storming through the trees. Shame burned in your chest like a wildfire as you thought back to the night before. Touching yourself in his house, making yourself come thinking about him, wondering if he’d fuck you at the ski lodge. God, you felt like a teenager with a hopeless crush.

Your feet planted in the dirt, the word ringing in your head like an alarm. Eyes wide, you gazed into the trees.

“Nope,” you mumbled, starting to walk again slowly. “No, no, no.”

“Y’know they say talkin’ to yourself is the first sign of madness.”

Fuck.

“What are you doing?” you turned quickly, staring him down from through the thick trees. “I told you I’d take first patrol.”

“Yeah, I heard that. Saw you storm off too,” Joel rolled his eyes, propping his hands against his hips. “What’s your problem?”

“Jesus,” you grinned sarcastically. “I should be the one asking that question.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” he frowned, stepping forward. The tan skin of his neck glistened in the sunlight, and you hated yourself for wanting to know how it tasted. Thankfully, hatred and anger were easier emotions to tap into than whatever the fuck you had been feeling about him for the past few weeks.  

“It means,” you ground out. “That you’re a nasty old bastard.” His face darkened, lips twisted into an angry snarl, but you continued. “Peterson’s not my fucking boyfriend, so you can give it a rest okay? I had it handled.”

“Sure,” he laughed bitterly. “Don’t act like you didn’t love it, havin’ him hit on you right in front of me. You get off on the attention, from him and from me. I bet you loved havin’ me step in, tell him to fuck off.”

Your face was on fire as you glared at him, acutely aware of how the tension had spiked between the pair of you. Entire body tensed, you squared your shoulders and stared him down. “Are you fucking serious, Joel?” you asked lowly, eyebrows raising.

“Deadly,” he grit his teeth. “Don’t forget that I know you, baby, better than anyone.”

“No, you fucking don’t,” you spat desperately, turning around and walking quickly in the opposite direction.

“Oh yeah,” he called, the sound of his footsteps following closely behind you making your stomach drop. “Walk away, sunshine. Let’s just not talk about it, right? I know that’s your favourite thing to do. Walk away, and act like nothing happened.”

“Oh my god!” you shouted. “Grow up, you fucking assho-“ But as you spoke, your foot landed awkwardly on a patch of moss. You heard a low popping sound before you shrieked as your legs flew out from underneath you. You hit the ground awkwardly, ass slamming into the ground, and dirt sprayed into the air around you.

“Shit,” you hissed, moving to get up but cringing as a sharp pain shot through your ankle. The flesh around your shin was already swelling, and you cursed audibly, reaching down to rest your hand against it only to wince at the dull pain spreading through your entire foot.

“Jesus Christ,” you heard him say, and then his warm hands were on your shoulders, and he was crouching beside you. Breathing heavily, you stared as your ankle swelled to the size of a golf ball. “Come on, let’s get you back,” Joel said, gripping your elbow to lift you up.

“Get off,” you snapped, shoving him back. He stumbled a little and then stood, glaring down at you. “I can do it myself.”

“Clearly you fuckin’ can’t.”

Eager to prove a point, you dug your fingers into the dirt and pushed yourself up, and then began limping back towards the ski lodge.

You moved slowly with Joel trailing just a few steps behind, close enough that you could hear his breathing, and the way he muttered inaudibly whenever you stumbled. When you almost tripped trying to step over a tree branch, he snapped, appearing at your side in an instant and wrapping an arm around your waist.

“Joel,” you warned lowly, but he interrupted.

“Would you stop bein’ such a brat,” he snarled. “You might’ve broken your fuckin’ ankle, just let me help you god damnit.”

You grumbled under your breath but didn’t fight him again, silently grateful to lean on him and get some weight off the injury. His chest rose and fell quickly as he led you back to the lodge, and you could practically feel the anxiety radiating from him.

“It’s not broken,” you muttered. “Probably just a sprain.”

“Good,” he grunted, helping you up the steps and into the building. “Idiot.”

“Jeez, thanks, Joel,” you said bitterly. “You’re a real pal.”

His hand gripped your waist tighter, before lowering you onto the couch. “Any time, bud.”

Joel stormed into the kitchen and returned moments later with a bottle of water, tossing it at you before slamming down onto the sofa beside you. “Jesse and Dina will be here in a few hours, just keep it elevated until then.”

“You got it doc,” you rolled your eyes, eagerly gulping down the water even though it had gotten uncomfortably warm in his pack.

The pair of you sat in silence for a while, your ankle throbbing where it rested atop the coffee table.  

“I don’t fuckin’ get you,” Joel finally breathed, and you looked to him with a raised eyebrow and a snarky comment on your lips, only to find him with his head tilted back against the couch, eyes closed.

“What?” you asked dumbly.

“You heard me,” he said. “I don’t fuckin’ get you. You go two weeks avoidin’ me, I hardly see you, then you’re knocking on my door, askin’ to stay? And then today you’re cursin’ my goddamn name. Throw me a fuckin’ bone, darlin’, cause I got no idea where I stand with you.”

Your lips parted, all the breath in your lungs rushing out of you in one fell swoop. His eyebrows were furrowed, a deep frown settled across his face, and his arms crossed against his chest. He didn’t look angry, you realised. He looked confused; he looked hurt. Your stomach rolled.

“I could say the same,” you started pathetically, and then his eyes flashed open and he was staring back at you with those dark brown eyes that fucking killed you.

“I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” he said blankly, eyes darting around your face.

Your lips felt numb as you slowly asked, “What?”

“You left,” he said quietly. “You fuckin’ left me, and I just don’t know if I can keep pretendin’ anymore. Pretend that this doesn’t… mean anything to me. Pretend that I’m fine with… this. Don’t know if I can keep doing it if you’re just gonna leave. My heart can’t take it.”

It felt like time stood still for a moment. Outside one of the open windows, you could hear the trees rustling in the hot summer wind. Your ankle ached. Joel kept staring at you.

“You know that’s the best I’ve slept in years?” he asked softly, licking his lips. “Slept so fuckin’ sound with you next to me. No nightmares – hell, I didn’t even dream. And then I woke up, and you were gone, and I almost wished it had never happened. So that I wouldn’t have to know how good it felt to have you, wouldn’t have to try and sleep without you every night after, knowing exactly what I was missing.”

“Joel,” you tried again but he shook his head, raising a hand in the air to stop you.

“Just let me,” he took a deep breath, his shoulders shaking. “Let me say this. Just once, and then I’ll let it be, okay? I won’t bring it up again, and we can go back to the way things were befo-“

“Stop,” you croaked out, tears swimming in your eyes. “Shut up for a second. I,” you paused, eyes darting over his face, searching for understanding. “I didn’t want to leave, okay? But I’m scared Joel. Jesus, I’m so scared of this.”

“Scared?”

“Of this feeling that won’t go away. Of wanting to stay. I’ve been trying to push it down, to ignore it, and it doesn’t fucking work, no matter what I do. I’m so scared that I’ve fucked up our friendship, that I’m going to lose yo-“

“Never,” he shook his head firmly, hand reaching out to squeeze your knee. “Listen, you’re not losin’ me, okay? That's never gonna happen.”

“But Joel,” you sighed shakily. “If we push things further, there’s no going back. Don’t you understand?”

“I think it’s a little late for that,” he admitted quietly. “I think it’s been too late for me for a while now.”

You stared at him with wide eyes, and when you spoke again you could hear the fear in your voice. “I don’t know if I can be what you want.”

Joel chuckled humourlessly and sighed, squeezing your thigh again.

“It’s you,” he said. “That’s what I want. You don’t have to do anythin’, don’t have to change or be anythin’ else. I just want you.” His eyes shone in earnest, and you couldn’t help but surge forward, planting your lips against his. He returned the kiss with fervour, parting your lips with his tongue and gripping the sides of your face in a searing grip.

He tasted like salt and mint and your head was swimming, consumed by him. Your fingertips were numb as they raced over his body, desperate to touch him everywhere all at once. You fumbled with the buttons on his shirt until his hands joined yours, carefully undoing them all until you could pry it off him.

Pulling back from the kiss, you allowed your eyes to rake over his exposed chest, taking in the sight of his tanned, hairy chest, littered with scars and freckles and you felt the urge to kiss every single one of them. So you did. You pushed him back into the couch and straddled him, ignoring the way your ankle cried out at the movement, and attached your lips to his collarbone, licking and sucking your way across his torso. Showing reverence to every imperfection on his skin. Your tongue swiped past one of his nipples and he jolted beneath you, hands dragging under the fabric of your shirt to rest on your back. You could feel him growing hard beneath you and you smiled against his skin before rolling your hips down against his. He was murmuring your name in between sighs, scratching at your skin, revelling in the kisses you sponged across his chest.

Your eyes trailed upwards to meet his. “Want your cock in my mouth,” you whispered, and his face crumpled in on itself, eyes rolling back into his head.

“Fuck,” he sighed, gripping your hands tightly before pushing you off him. He stood up and in one quick movement he knocked the coffee table over, before he was undoing his belt and stripping his pants off. He helped you off the couch slowly, before lowering you down onto the carpet, crouching down to rest beside you. His large hands roamed across your chest, gripping the hem of your shirt and tugging it upward to expose your breasts, your aching nipples peaked and begging to be touched.

“Fuck,” he repeated, harsher this time, leaning over you to plant his mouth on your chest. His teeth scraped across your sensitive skin and you whined, gripping the nape of his neck as he took one of your nipples into his mouth and sucked gently.

“Joel,” you mewled, tugging his face back up to yours for a brief kiss. “I mean it,” you breathed into his mouth. “Need you in my mouth so bad. M’gonna make you feel so good, I swear.” Within a second, he flipped the two of you over so his back was against the ground and you were straddling his hips. You grinned triumphantly, shifting your hips back as you kissed down his chest, moving your body down until you were straddling his shins, and pulling his briefs down with you.

His cock rested proudly against his stomach, thick and swollen and begging to be touched. The head was a deep shade of red, small beads of precum weeping out of his tip as he stared at you, patiently waiting for you to make a move. You didn’t waste a second before leaning down and gliding your tongue softly over the tip, swiping up his salt and humming at the taste. A sharp inhale whistled past his teeth, and you watched his eyes clamp shut at the sensation, hand forming a fist at his side. Gently, you took his hand and raised it to your head, encouraging him to touch you. He obliged, fisting your hair in his hand, grip tightening as you parted your lips around him and let him sink into your warm mouth. A long, drawn-out moan left his mouth and your cunt pulsed in response, the warmth between your thighs suddenly impossible to ignore.

“S-so good for me,” he groaned, pulling your hair tighter. “Love your mouth, I love it. That’s it, baby, open up a little more for me, show me how much you can take.”

The sharp sting on your scalp made you moan around him, and he cursed, undoubtedly feeling the vibration. The weight of him against your tongue was intoxicating, and you bobbed your head up and down slowly, his cock gliding in and out of your mouth easily, slick with your spit. You’d missed the taste of him, missed the sensation of him filling you up to the point where it was hard to breathe, and yet you still wanted more. You pressed forward, eager to feel him fill you up, but when his cock brushed the back of your throat he was gripping your hair and pulling you off him.

“Turn around,” he ordered, and you looked up in confusion. His bottom lip was bitten raw, and his eyes were a darker brown than normal as he gazed at you. When you didn’t move, he was pulling you up and turning your body so your back was to him, and only then did you realise what he meant. He pulled your shorts down your legs, dragging your underwear with them, and then he carefully tugged one of your knees up and over his shoulder, so you were straddling his chest. Slowly, you shuffled back on your knees until your wet heat was hovering over his face, and you leaned down to let your chest rest against his.

“Baby,” Joel sighed. “So fuckin’ perfect. Such a pretty pussy. Can never get enough of you.”

You clenched around nothing, and heard him groan, signalling that he’d seen it. Without warning, his tongue dipped between your folds and you gasped, pushing your hips back to give him a better angle, before taking him back into your mouth. And it was nothing like it had been two nights before. He wasn’t gentle, or slow, or relaxed. No, Joel was relentless.

His tongue moved rhythmically against you, and you tried desperately to focus, harsh breaths leaving your nose as you moved your mouth lazily along his length. You pulled back and lathed your tongue around the head of him, tasting the salt that dripped out of him. He grunted into you and you smiled, stroking him slowly as you sucked the tip, grinding your tongue into the sensitive skin just underneath his head. Joel’s hips bucked up off the ground, and your hand left his length, gripping his waist firmly to hold him down while you took him into your mouth again. You pushed yourself as far as you could, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed as he brushed the back of your throat. His beard scratched against your inner thighs deliciously, and you decided you loved it a little longer. And then suddenly, his tongue moved away from your clit and he was licking broad strokes along the entirety of your core, and then over your entrance, and then… his tongue flicked all the way back and into new territory.

You flinched forward, his cock surging deeper into your throat and you gagged around him as you explored the new feeling. You moaned, eyes screwing shut at the foreign sensation, and you felt your legs begin to shake against his sides. His hands gripped your hips and pulled you down harder against his face, ruthlessly dragging his tongue back and forth from your clit to your hole, until you were tearing your mouth away him and sitting up, grinding yourself down desperately against his face. Arching your back, you writhed on top of him, crying out hoarsely. Every strong flick of his tongue felt like an electric shock jolting through your body, and he continued until you were panting and twitching on top of him, and then you let go. The orgasm tore through you, a shout falling from your lips as you rode his face, gripping his thighs for leverage as your entire body shuddered with the intensity. He didn’t let up; licking and sucking and kissing, his moans vibrating through your core until you were whimpering and dragging yourself off him, clit aching from the pressure.

You were still trembling with the aftershocks of your orgasm when Joel pressed your back down onto the carpet, nudged your knees apart so he could fit between them, and pushed himself inside you. A sweet, low burn blazed in your abdomen with every inch he gave to you. The wet sound of you sucking him in might have embarrassed you, but the look of awe on his face as he stared down at where you were connected just made you feel powerful.

His thrusts were strong, the sweaty skin of your thighs smacking against each other noisily filling the air, mixing with your breathless moans of his name.

“So fuckin’ tight,” he was saying, but you weren’t listening, eyes rolling back in your head as he played with your nipples, pinching and rolling them between his fingers.

“Fuck, Joel,” you cried out at a particularly hard thrust, stomach tensing as the head of his cock grinded against your g-spot.

“There?” he panted, and you nodded frantically, mouth hanging open as he pressed against it over and over again, groaning at the way you tensed around him.

Urgent sounds left your lips as you felt yourself nearing the edge again, and you watched with wide eyes as his hand trailed down your chest to rest over your mound, his thumb slipping between your folds to press gently against your throbbing clit. Your back arched up from the ground and you choked out a moan as he rubbed you in slow circles, a stark contrast to the way he drilled into you with his cock.  

“Come,” Joel encouraged and you whimpered, eyes screwing shut as the overwhelming feeling soared through you. His free hand landed over your throat and your eyes flew open, looking up at him as he applied soft pressure to the sides of your neck. “C’mon baby, let me have it. I can feel you, you’re so fuckin’ close, give it to me, please, I want it.”

His words pushed you over the edge, and you gasped against his hold, bucking up into him as he fucked you roughly. You twitched and writhed on the ground, his thumb never stopping its movements against your clit as you cried out his name.

And somewhere amidst it all, his movements slowed. His hands turned soft on your body, head dropping down to drag gentle wet kisses along the skin of your neck.  

“So good,” he praised lowly. “So beautiful.” Your heart soared in your chest, and you smiled drowsily, body tingling as he continued to give you gentle thrusts.  

“Kiss me,” you said shyly, and Joel smiled, leaning down to press his lips to yours. You sighed into his mouth, gliding the tip of your tongue along his bottom lip as you draped your heavy arms around his neck, pinning his torso down against yours. “Fuck me like this,” you told him. “Want to feel you close to me.”

He nodded, starting up a slow rhythm, only ever pulling out halfway before pressing back into you. You were both slick with sweat, and you wiped his forehead gently before raking your fingers through his thick messy curls. His face was red from exertion, and you thumbed his cheekbones gently. A heavy sigh fell from your mouth. Still recovering from your previous orgasm, you knew it wouldn’t be hard for him to build you up for another one.

“Give me one more,” he begged, sponging feather light kisses over your eyelids, your cheeks, down your neck. “Want to feel you come with me, baby, please. Just one more, I know you can.”

You gripped his hair and kissed him deeply, your tongues tangling together as he moved his hips slowly, cock dragging in and out of you at a devastating pace. Joel pulled back to watch you, eyes gazing down with adoration as he moved above you. That familiar liquid heat began to burn in your stomach, curling through every fibre of your being, and you could see in his face that he was close. And there was something else there too. Something you couldn’t place; simmering in his eyes, lingering on the tip of his tongue, begging to be said. His hips began to stutter against yours, a choked gasp of your name falling from his lips as he quickened his pace until you were coming together, holding each other tightly on the ground of the ski lodge. He moaned heavily against your mouth, and you throbbed around him as his spend coated your walls, warm and slick, squeezing out around his cock as he moved.

As a low, warm silence filled the room, you worked to control your breathing, body shaking against his as he pulled out of you. You whimpered at the empty feeling, missing the weight of him already. But he didn’t go far.

Joel laid down on the carpet beside you, draping an arm around your shoulders and tugging you into his chest. Your fingers trailed over the skin of his stomach, smiling at the goosebumps that developed in your wake. Mine.

His hand caught yours and he lifted it to his mouth, kissing the back of it gently. You leaned forward to rest your face in the rook of his neck, and he sighed in contentment, trailing his fingers down your back.

“Hey Joel?” you murmured against his skin.

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry I called you a nasty old bastard.”

Joel laughed and tightened his grip around your back, tugging you closer to his chest. “I forgive you.”

[mangocustard16]

📁....Seventeen's reaction to having an actor/actress s/o₊˚🎬📼🎥✩｡

genre: fluff warnings: pet names, cursing lmk if i missed something w.c: 970 a/n: thank you! anon and I'm sorry i won't be covering another req that asked me to write about ghostface/scream cuz i already saw someone write about it<3 sorry anon!

#Seungcheol 

He is very supportive of your career and is proud of your accomplishments. He's clearing out his schedules to attend premieres, to silently cheer you on, and is not afraid to publicly express his admiration for your talent. Would casually appear during your shootings with your favorite flowers and snacks for everyone. "Babe! Aren't you supposed to be on the other side of the country?" "No, I'm supposed to be wherever you are."

#Jeonghan 

Oh boy! he's taking tips, no jokes. He's got his notepad out and is ready to jot down directions and suggestions. He is ready to polish his acting skills which will come in helpful when bluffing others during the mafia game.  Bonus: he shares the prizes he wins from "Going Seventeen Mafia Games" with you. "Hannie that's the third Dyson air wrap you've won this year!"

#Joshua 

Your supportive lil' boy. He helps you practice your lines and gives valuable advice. Everything flows smoothly until you reach a scene involving a kiss. joshua.exe has stopped functioning. He's momentarily frozen, and you can't help but wonder if he's even breathing. He had anticipated a kiss scene cuz you were the main lead, but it still bothered him a little to see you kiss someone else who is not him. But he's definitely not insecure or anything, just a peculiar sensation. And for the cure, just kiss the living daylights out of him so hard that he forgets the world except for you.

#Junhui 

Well....he's an actor himself, so it's quite obvious that he's exceptionally proud of you. He's shamelessly promoting your movie/drama every chance he gets. Dedicates an entire Weibo live suggesting your movies and dramas to carats while explaining the plot in great detail. "You know The Dreamcatcher's plot twist caught me so hard that I almost fell off my seat"

#Hoshi

He wants to accompany you everywhere – to set, to your trailer as you practice your lines, to premieres and other events. He adores the world you live in and wishes to learn more about it. He tried out acting(a period drama) and continued talking in that manner for days. "What an interesting food this is, 'twixt two buns lies a delicacy that-" "It's just a burger calm down."

#Wonwoo 

He would be so proud of you. He'll be your silent cheerleader. When the two of you are alone, he will lavishly compliment your acting and take you out to a lovely meal to celebrate the premiere. So, while it may not appear to others that he makes a big deal out of it, you'll know how proud he is.

#Woozi

Please DO NOT bring him to events – Woozi almost blends in with the numerous cameramen and women, his own phone in hand as he photographs picture after picture of you as you go into the premiere of your new film — he's a very proud boyfriend, after all. "Look here! babe. Damn you look so good"

#Seokmin

He is gonna hype you up so much omg. He like, Jun, won’t hesitate to promote your movie every chance he gets. His darling is building a name for themselves, and he'll be damned if he doesn't do everything he can to help them. He's always bugging Carats to go see the latest movie. Whenever you watch the movie alone, he will be more sincere and serious in his compliments. "No problem, carats! If you've already seen the film, you should go watch it two more times."

#Mingyu

He'd be captivated by your performance and would shove his face very close to the screen every time you appeared. And, while he may not shamelessly promote you as some of the other members do, he will certainly speak highly of you and your acting abilities to everyone he knows. That's all he talks about when he's out with his '97 liner buddies. Literally. "Y/n had to act like they had not found the killer while sitting right beside them. They are so cool!"

#Minghao 

Minghao is buying the CD regardless of whether he could simply ask you for a copy of the movie you're in or even if he's seen it hundreds of times. He is one of your biggest fans; he owns all of your movies, has seen all of your shows, and knows all of your interviews by heart.  "Are you watching y/n’s movies again? Aren’t you tired?" "Fuck off"

#Seungkwan

He actually got to know you during an event promoting your latest drama. He's your biggest fanboy, watching every drama/movie you've ever starred in, and bombarding you with compliments. Winces slightly whenever he sees you kiss a fellow actor on screen. "So your type is Song Jung" "Come on!! Stop sulking, we filmed that 6 years ago" 

#Vernon

Leaves 15-line reviews on your movies complimenting your acting skills. He is always pulling out your movies during movie night and doesn't understand why wouldn't wanna watch your own movie for the nth time again. "Babe, we have watched Wandering Dreams more than 20 times" "So, do you wanna watch 'Written in Sand'?" *dies* Bonus: All the movies you've starred in receive an obvious 5-star rating.

#Chan

He'd be so freaking excited! It wouldn't be strange to spend endless nights practicing your lines with him. Coffee would be essential for those nights, as the caffeine would keep you up as you practiced. And whenever someone pointed out how much the critics praised you, he'd say, "Yeah, of course, my love did amazing." It's as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

BONUS:: Sends coffee trucks to the set during shooting: Minghao, Seungkwan, Jeonghan, Joshua ♡

[austinbutlerslovers]

Hard at Work

Label Mature 18+

You and Austin have been away from each other for 3 weeks as he films the Bikeriders. It’s agonizing for you both unable to physically be together. After pulling some strings Austin is able to have you stay for the weekend and even visit him on set. You finally reunite in his trailer and he immediately uses you to relieve his sexual urges.

Established relationship girlfriend

Fingering•restraint•orgasm•oral sex male•cum eating

Inspo: Anon request 💝 “Austin missing you and not being able to see you or have sex with you but you get to visit him on set one day and he wont have sex at work because he’s professional but he’s so stressed he makes you give him oral instead lots of oral description on Austin and how he uses you for stress relief”

~*Hard at Work*~

It’s been 3 weeks since Austin left to Ohio to film the Bikeriders. After being apart from him so long all you can do is fantasize about him. His giant house is empty the staff cleans while you run errands and work out. You comfort yourself in the evening after your shower going through the walk in closet pulling one of his white tees and smelling his scent, vanilla orange blossoms with musk you wear one to bed.

Every night you have facetime sex with him, he has a full goatee now and his voice sounds incredible as he tells you how to pleasure yourself for him as you watch him mastrubate on camera. Every time you close the laptop you feel a twinge of pain you crave his company his touch his everything.

You lay back on his empty king size bed and hug a pillow until you doze off.

You over sleep the next morning the maid knocks on the master bedroom door and you sit up in bed eyes squinting as you wake up . “Just a minute“ you say picking your phone up from the night stand to check the time. It’s blown up with texts and missed calls from Austin.

Austin 8:16 - Baby pack a bag I’m having you flown out

Austin 8:49- Baby where are you? I got approval to have you stay at my apartment ! Please answer

9:09 Missed Call

9:15 Missed Call

9:29 Missed Call

You immediately press call back

You: “Austin oh my gosh baby I overslept I’m so sorry we were on face time so late last night and l I was just missing you so much”

Austin: “Not for long your staying with me this weekend I’m kidnapping you and holding you hostage ”

You smile

You:“Austin I will be the most willing hostage for you “

You both laugh

Austin: “I need you, I’m missing you so badly baby. When I’m alone in the apartment at night after we face time I’m just gutted I want you to sleep here with me . I begged the coordinator to have you stay and they said they’ll allow two days at first to see how it affects my work and if all goes well you can come back longer for the weeks when I’m needed in less scenes. Now that it’s happening I’m just so grateful I’ll get to have you here..”

His voice trails off he misses you so much

You: “Aww Austin I’ll be there soon, I'm so excited you have no idea. I always assume you’ll be away the entire time you work this must’ve been a really big ask”

Austin:“Yea I think it was, I requested 3 weeks ago before I even arrived here and they just granted this morning. Oh! and its freezing here I’m wearing my hoodie and socks right now in the apartment, pack everything warm!”

You: “Okay I will, do you need me bring you anything? Do you need more hoodies?

You giggle

Austin:“Yes! More hoodies and more you!”

You both smile on each end of the call.

You: “Okay let me know all the details. I’m already mentally packing a bag to be there with you ”

You put him on speaker and open your notes app and he explains the dynamics of the trip what time you are arriving who will pick you up. He sends you his door code plane tickets and NDA paperwork to email back signed. Once everything is complete you say your I love yous and hang up.

You let out a shriek of excitement as you run to the walk in closet packing your weekend bag full of sexy lingerie and skimpy outfits to go see Austin. Then you smartly pack your jeans and jackets with his hoodies.

Ohio

It’s just before noon the sun is trying to peek through the overcast clouds covering the city of Ohio. Austin booked you an early flight to maximize his time with you. As you leave the airport after the 5 hour trip you rest your hand on your chin and close your eyes a little tired.

You are wearing black leggings and one of Austin’s black hoodies. His driver adjusts the rear view mirror as he speaks to you. “Austin would like me to make a quick stop at his apartment to drop off your things then promptly bring you to the filming location for the day, I have your passes. “Thank you” you say kindly then remember to text Austin. You snap a photo attaching it to the message

You: “I’m here”

You look out the window and yawn trying to be more alert .

Your phone buzzes

Austin: “Fuck you look so good,I’m so excited you’ll be with me soon. I get a break in my trailer in a few hours I want you there.” He sends a picture of he and Jody comer in their costumes throwing up peace signs making you laugh.

“I’ll be there baby” you type.

You put your phone away and rest you eyes a moment more.

The driver pulls up to a condominium community the camera scans his car sticker in the window the gate opens. He pulls to a stop at the side entrance of the building popping the trunk the sound waking you up.

He opens your door and you exit the car following him as he takes your luggage. He wheels it in as he scans his key fob entering the building. He takes the elevator with you to the second floor exiting into the hall and stopping in front of door B17. Entering the code the lock wizzes open. “Here is my card if you need anything I’ll be waiting for you downstairs” “Thank you” you say again. You giddily enter Austin’s place.

It’s dark inside all his shades are drawn. You click on a light stepping into the living room area and he was right it’s freezing. You check the thermostat its on but clearly not heating the place.

The apartment is a one bedroom Airbnb style set up, amenities with contemporary decor. There is a beige couch and beige curtains on dark hard wood floors. A shelf full of fake decorative vases a television and a desk set up against the window with a computer and a laptop.

You walk over to the desk. Austin has a pod cast mic set up next to his laptop a stack of books and a script. He also a framed photo he snapped of you laying on his bed.

You look back recognizing the chandelier and the bookshelf of vases in the living room realizing this is where he has the face time sex calls you have together making you blush.

You head to the master bedroom, there is a queen sized bed with two night stands, ornate lamps and a bookshelf, his outfit is already laid out on the duvet covers a black hoodie, gray sweat pants white socks. You enter the bathroom he has his skin care products neatly arranged on the counter it’s so cute you can’t stand how organized he is.

You bring your suitcase to the bedroom and undress, adding your plane outfit to his laundry basket and rinsing off. You exit the shower and dry off trembling the air is frigid in the apartment.

You pull your white mini skirt and stretchy black long sleeve v neck top from your suitcase adding boots a scarf with a black trench coat. You know how much he loves you in mini skirts.

Underneath you have a delicate lacy bra and panty set that he loves to feel the texture of on your body, the bra also makes your tits look amazing. You smile looking in the mirror peeking at your outfit thighs and breasts on full display then you tie the trench coat tight covering it all back up. He’s going to devour you.

You make sure to bring the gifts you picked up for him. Dark chocolate, ‘Essential Oils: Stress Relief Kit’ and one hoodie for on set.

As you exit the building the driver opens your door and you climb in with your gift bag feeling refreshed and excited to finally see him.

It takes 25 minutes to drive from the apartment to the filming location for the day.

The driver rolls down his window showing his ID badge at the first security check . You look out the and see the signage for ‘Edge Water Motorsports Park’. As you roll in the grounds are littered with tons of people dressed as bikers, there is a camera crane, camera crew, dozens of set coordiators standing around, extras makeup artists stunt men and personel with clip boards making sure everyone is where they are supposed to be. There is one person in charge with a megaphone progressing the production.

Your stomach is in knots this is such a big ordeal. It always impresses and intimidates you how Austin can just turn on and be in character with all of this chaos going on around him and that all of these people are here for the movie he is the star of. You’ve never been invited on set before and now you are feeling the apprehension as to why.

You drive through the final check point of security the leading cast trailer area. You look in awe seeing the doors with the names Hardy and Comer stopping at Butler .

Two security approach the car one speaks to the driver the other opens your door as you exit withyour gift bag. He hands you your lanyard with a VIP marking “You keep this on you at all times on set, Austin is expecting you, he’s in his trailer” he says gruffly and you thank him.

The Trailer

You approach the long air bus that reads Butler and smile. You walk up two steps and knock “Come in” you hear his familiar voice say.

You are so happy your heart begins pounding in your chest. You pull the handle opening the door to his trailer. Austin stops reading and places his script on the table eyes lighting up immediately as he sees you he watches you step in and close the door behind you.

He picks you up so quickly in his strong arms lifting you into a hug. He looks handsome in a different grungy sort of way with his goatee and his biker outfit on “I’ve missed you so much baby” he says eyes shining with excitement “I’ve missed you too Austin“ you admit lovingly. You arms are draped over his shoulders gift bag swinging behind him in your hands as he holds you to him squeezing his arms around your torso.

He lowers you back down and plants a kiss on your lips you tiptoe up wanting more. His eyes light up as he plants another softer longer one but it isn’t enough for you, he smells like diesel and motor oil driving you crazy. “Austin have you been riding a motorcycle today?” Your voice almost a hush from arousal. “Yea I did film a riding scene how did you know?” he smiles curiously.

You lean in to him just at the place under his jaw at his neck inhaling his scent again “Mmm because you smell just like fresh motor oil “ you admit and it sparks your passion for him. You trace your finger over one of his biker patches peeking up at him through your lashes “Austin I need you” you whisper running your hand down the leather vest of his Benny costume.

He smiles bringing his hand to hold your face “I know I need you too, but we’ll fix that later right now I was only able to request a one hour visit” he winks at you and making you smile you tell yourself to be good with him in this setting.

You hand him his gift bag and he looks delighted that you thought of him and immediately digs through it taking out his favorite brand of dark chocolate first “ yes” he says confirming the choice smiling up at you .

Then he sees the stress relief essential oils and chuckles to himself “I hope this work”he says making you giggle. He sees his hoodie at the bottom and thanks you with a kiss. He sets the bag down on his table and unseals the dark chocolate taking a bite.

“Come in and get comfortable “ he says as he motions you in and locks the door behind you. He guides you to sit down on his brown leather couch.

You open your coat revealing your outfit as you sit, breasts on display legs crossed showing your upper thighs in the mini skirt, he pauses dumbfounded until he regains his thoughts putting his chocolate bar in the fridge and pulling out a glass jar of filtered water. He continues staring at your body as he pours you a glass and sets it on the low table in front of you.

He pulls his chair from the high table to sit across from you his legs wide apart resting in his chair wondering how he's going to stop thinking about fucking you in his trailer and just enjoy your company while he's on break.

"You look so good" he says already faltering eyes lingering on your exposed thighs in the mini skirt. You intentionally uncross your legs spreading them wide apart showing him your panties. He sits up in his chair full attention on you. He hasn't had you in so long he's craving you now.

You see his unfaltering gaze between your legs and leave the couch climbing onto his lap straddling him as you kiss him. He accepts you hugging his arms around your waist kissing you back slowly.

Your taste your smell your sounds his cock begins to swell being reminded. "Austin I missed you so much I couldn't think straight" you say taking your lips from his. “It was the same for me" he breaths as he caresses the nape of your neck.

He pushes his cock against you and pulls your neck to his lips kissing along your throat his tongue sliding out to taste your skin getting more aroused by your neediness for him as you grind your clothed heat back on to him.

"Just show it to me” he whispers. You stand immediately and lift your skirt pulling your panties down they cling to your wetness before you pull them all the way off placing them on the table.

You go to lay on on the couch and let him fuck you but he quickly grabs ahold of your wrist quietly laughing.

"no no I can't take you here" he says whispering "I'm at work....but l'll give you something else" his eyes stare at you daringly.

He pulls you back on to his lap with your legs spread apart pussy completely exposed to him. He pulls your skirt up to the hips looking in your eyes watching your reaction as he reaches his hand between your legs and slides his fingers back and forth on your wet pussy folds. "Mmmmm Austin!" you cry out finally feeling his touch. He loves watching you get off, but he cups his hand on your mouth reminding you to be quiet as he continues.

"You're already so wet" he whispers. You get wet so easily for him it makes his cock start to get hard when he feels it seeping out of you. "Fuck" he whispers again and slips his long fingers all the way inside of you making you moan loudly . Even though his hand is muffling the sound against your mouth he stills his fingers inside of you.

"I want to make you cum...but if you can't be quiet I will stop ....and I don't want to stop" he says a glint of sexual deprivation in his eyes. "Are you going to be good for me and stay quiet so I can watch you cum"

You nod frantically with his hand covering your mouth wanting him to finish and fight yourself to remain quiet for him.

He begins again gently sliding his fingers in and out of you as your walls grip them tightly. Not having him in so long intensifying your pleasure making you fight the urge to moan so badly it's transcending you to another consciousness. Your face flushes pink and your body writhes against his palm beneath you as you make tiny muffled noises against his other hand cupped over your mouth.

He just stares at your beauty loving his large hand covering your mouth holding back your moans as his fingers derive pleasure out of you pushing you over the edge making you fall apart. He's feeling drunk from your arousal for him, speeding up his movements loving the feel of his fingers squeezing inside of you as his knuckles wetly smack against your entrance. He wants to enjoy his favorite sight of watching you cum for him.

You can't believe you're doing this in his trailer on set with security and staff right outside the door. It makes you want to rush and and try to cum faster your body begins tensing from anxiety as your heart races faster and he can already tell something is wrong.

"Just relax for me" he whispers, slowly removing his hand from your mouth placing it on the back of your neck holding you closer. With the hand that is fingering you he places his thumb on your clit so that with each push of his fingers inside of you his thumb glides on your clit too. It’s such a skilled move you stare at him in awe feeling the pleasure amplifying in your core as your eyes fill with worship for what hes doing to you. He just smiles at you and pulls your neck to his mouth kissing and sucking his favorite place just below your jaw

You give into him completely exhaling small whimpers as he kisses your neck and expertly fingers you into an orgasm, your panting heavily in his ear, rocking and clenching on him. As you start to climax he whispers his praises "You've been so good for me being quiet, I want to make you cum for me now" you nod profusely feeling the tightness in your core ready to snap at any second.

He pushes his fingers up toward your naval and curls them down pulling in a “come here” motion that has you lose all resolve he fingers your gspot faster and harder until he’s rocking your entire body in his lap. You grip onto his shoulders for dear life as an extreme rush of pleasure floods your core and it snaps as you orgasm for him holding back every loud moan that tries to escape your throat.

When he removes his fingers you whimper, and spread your legs wider wanting more. It gets him so hot knowing you need a second orgasm being without him for so long. He rewards you immediately slipping his fingers back in and pressing his other hand down across your naval plunging his fingers deeper, it feels like he's squeezing the life out of you as you gasp overwhelmed with so much euphoria your vision goes blurry.

He pulls his fingers out and waits until you whimper “Austin please” you beg, his fingers teasing just near your entrance. “ You want more?” He whispers “ Yes Austin Please!” you beg almost raising your voice from how much you need it. He then slips his fingers back inside of you doubling his pace watching your facial expression change as your about to cum again. He's getting off being able to finger fuck you and see you orgasm a second time for him.

When he curls his finger against your gspot while pressing his hand on your naval it makes your body constrict so tightly you can’t breathe you clench on him so hard until you feel overwhelmed and a burst of pleasure erupts in your core releasing liquid all over his fingers as he wetly pounds them between your legs. He stills his fingers when you shudder and collapse against his chest trembling, the double orgasm wrecking you.

"You came so beautifully for me " he whispers in your ear as he pets down your hair, he loved watching how he made you cum twice so much. He carefully pulls his fingers out of you fully covered in your slick. He planned to suck them but the taste of you always turns him on too much and he has to get through more scenes at work.

He decides to make you do it for him. “Open your mouth for me I want you to taste what I cant have until later” he whispers and you suck him clean from his knuckles to his finger tips”

His lips part and pupils dilate wide watching you, it arouses him so much you feel his cock getting brick hard beneath you . “I have to get up” he whisper's slightly panicked and you giggle leaving his lap quickly and letting him stand. “Get dressed “ he says eyeing your painties on the table.

You pull them back on as he tries to straighten himself out. The outline of his erect cock is prevalent in his jeans there’s nothing he can do to hide it.

You drop down on your knees in-front of him already undoing his belt freeing access to pull down his zipper. His body is tensing not wanting to cum at work, especially not on set, especially not in his character costume, but he doesn’t stop you hes already consumed with the thought of cumming in your mouth.

His brain starts trying to take over “Baby I can’t do this at w…” he starts but you finally release his hard veiny cock in your hand making his body jump “You can’t do what baby?” You ask looking up to him poised to suck his cock. He can’t resist the urge his eyes faltering looking down your top and seeing your breasts in a lace bra and your thighs exposed in the miniskirt riding up to be more like a belt. He wants in your mouth so badly he gives in “ baby suck my cock ” he begs.

You look at his length pulsing in your hand, bigger and redder than the last time you’ve seen it. He’s been waiting to have sex with you this entire time. You feel a surge of arousal making you wetter rubbing your thighs together wanting to fuck his brains out.

You hold the base and slowly guide him in your mouth a desperate moan escapes his throat when his tip hits the back of your throat filling your mouth all the way up.

You twirl your tongue around the tip and he grips the edge of the table to keep himself steady. You love the sound of him gasping and making small whimpers above as you hollow your cheeks and begin to suck. His eyes are shut tight and he’s panting he needed you so badly "It’s so good baby” he breaths.

You reach your hand up guiding it underneath his shirt trailing your fingers tips on his rock hard abs. He wants his release down your throat and begins gently thrusting his length in your mouth letting you know he’s ready to cum. You hold firm to his hips tracing your thumbs on the bones there knowing he’s going to go so hard when he orgasms.

He holds your hair in a makeshift pony tail ready to use your face “You gonna swallow for me baby?” he asks through ragged breaths fucking your mouth faster. You lock eyes with him and you nod with his heavy cock in your mouth making slurping sounds as he’s ramming it in, he presses deeper and your throat clenches around his tip. “ UGHH” he cries loudly from the intense feeling.

He grips your hair harder holding your head steady to milk his cock “Here it comes ..suck it out of me” he says making you moan on his length twirling your tongue over the head sucking hard on his tip until you hear him grunting loudly as his silky cum squirts across your pallatte, you relax your throat and swallow it right out of the tip of his cock

“OH FUCK” he yells so loudly doubling over. He loses all his strength as you drain him completely dry and he struggles to recover. You are sure everyone outside the trailer heard him.

You release his empty cock from your mouth and catch your breath. Both of your thoughts interrupted by a harsh knock on the trailer door.

You quickly get up and adjust your clothing as Austin zips and buckles his belt checking that you are decent. He opens the door with a causal innocence “Everything alright Mr. Butler? “ the staffer asks. Austin smiles running his hand through his hair knowing he was too loud. “Yes just rehearsing lines” He says with a cool cadence gained from his profession as an actor.

“I’m sorry to bother you but you have 10 minutes until take. The golf cart will be here soon do you need anything else before you head back on set?” The staffer asks. Austin looks over at you and you shake your head no “Were all good “ Austin says nodding to him as he closes the door.

He wraps you in his arms as soon as it shuts nuzzling his nose against your neck planting sweet kisses up to your ear “You are such a naughty girl making me cum in my trailer” he whispers and you giggle “But man do I feel great now” he smiles. “I can tell” you say affectionately.

“Yea my stress level has been through the roof … I was so distracted all the time, now I’m so clear headed I probably won’t even need as many takes today” He confesses as he holds you tighter and presses his pelvis into yours

“The fact that you’re going to watch on set today is going distract the fuck out of me, but I’ll probably get my best takes ever thinking about how I get to strip you out of this outfit when I get to the apartment later” He says tracing his fingertip along the lace of your bra peeking out of your top, he takes a hold your jaw tilting your face up and gently kisses your lips in appreciation. He’s so much sexier after you make him cum.

He takes your hand and pushes the trailer door open leading you outside just as the golf cart arrives you both hop in and take a seat behind the driver. He peeks over at you once you’re both settled and smirks watching you smiling dreamily staring off in to space without a care in the world from the orgasms he gave you. He puts. his arm around you pulling you closer enjoying having you back with him again.

You are just lost in bliss daydreaming about the ways he made you cum in his trailer and how he’s going to have his way with you so many more times over the weekend in the apartment . You place your hand on his thigh and squeeze it in anticipation, ready to go see him professionally work hard on set this time.

~*End*~

Masterlist

[betasquads]

CAN I KISS YOU?, Niko Omilana

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summary: you're a usual guest in the beta squad and all the members seems to like you, except for one that seems to not like you at all. Or that's what you took from the interaction between you and him.

warnings: idk if making out counts as a warning but there you go.

A/N: this is so badly written and it's kind of cringe (I'm serious). so it's not on me if you don't like this. + there might be grammar mistakes because I wrote this while i was half asleep.

You silently groan when you hear your phone ringing during your sleep. Your hand lazily searches for the phone on the nightstand right next to your bed, sighing when you check the time. 5:27 am.

Checking who was calling, you could feel yourself becoming furious that he would call at such timing. You respond and bring the phone to your ears.

"This better be an emergency Chunkz or I swear-" You yawn and rest your head on your pillow.

"It is an emergency. Well not really- we just need you to come over here today." He sounded like he just woke up aswell, which gets you confused.

"Why the hell are you awake at 5 am?" You narrow your eyes, even though he couldn't see you.

"I was just praying, but now I'm getting back to bed. So is it a yes or no?"

"Huh? A yes or no about what?" You internally cringe at the fact that you forgot what he had told you.

"We need you coming today to the beta squad house, I'll send you the details for today's video. We need an immediate response because we need a guest today. If it helps, the majority of the fans want you and so do we." You chuckle weakly at his last statement which makes you smile so wide even though your eyes were closed.

"You guys are filming on a Sunday? Also why they hell are you asking me so late you could've told me yesterday when we hung out-"

"Stop with the lecturing. So, yes or no? To be fair we missed you." You hear the smile in his voice and you turn on the lamp shade next to you.

Even though you've seen all of them yesterday, you could feel the same. Spending a minute with them would always make your entire day.

"Yes, yes. I would be delighted to see you guys today." You grin widely, and even though he couldn't see you, You could tell that he knows that you felt really pleased to be around them.

"Alright then. See you later, y/n." You hear the genuine smile in his tone and you giggle silently when the line ends.

—

"I've got everything ready." You nod at chunkz's plans for the shoot as you tuck in a hair strand behind your ear.

Since the audience really loved your presence surprisingly and how you really bring the members together even much more, they had decided to go with making a mafia video with you.

"Tell me what your costume is." He asks.

"Im not telling you anything about my costume. All that you need to know is that you had to let me get up early to go get one." You respond with a bland tone.

"Alright, I gotta start moving now. I'll call you when I'm almost there." You hear a hum at the other side of the phone and close the call.

—

You place a hand over the speaker and send a signal to the driver, "Make a turn!"

"Anyway, I'm already outside." You cheekily smile when you see Chunkz standing outside with the phone to his ear.

You don't waste a second and immediately open the door and hold the bag that had the costume between your index finger and the middle and you run towards him, immediately engulfing him in a hug. He responds with giving you a tight hug and you hear him chuckle at your excitement.

Chunkz was the friend that everyone had since middle school, and seeing him grow up and have a successful life always made you feel like the proudest person alive. It was as if whenever he's successful at something, it feels like you had won something aswell. His success was also your success.

"Everyone's waiting for you inside. Wait let me see-" He tries to take the bag from you and you immediately tut in disappointment and move the bag away from him.

"Only hint that you get is its in the game itself." Chunkz furrows his eyebrows in confusion since your sentence barely had any context.

"Wait what are you?" You take a look at his costume, really confused.

"I'm the prince of Saudi Arabia." Your mouth is slightly hung agape at the accent, a little thrown off by it since you didn't see it coming.

You chuckle and shake your head, "Come on, let's not waste anymore time if you're desperate to see my costume!" You skip towards the already open door and you hear him chuckle at you.

"The guest is here!" Aj points towards your direction and immediately everyone's face brightened and so does yours.

Sharky, Kenny, and Aj surround you and they crush you to death with a really big hug and you easily accepts with a wide grin.

"Be careful. You guys are crushing the poor gyall." Chunkz remarks from behind and you chuckle.

"I'm more than happy to be crushed by my absolute favorite people." You mumble against them and they finally disconnect.

"What's your costume?"

"I bet it's creative, she always goes big in challenges-"

"Let us see!"

Your eyes widen at all the questions and statements that came all at once, "–Woah, woah, woah. I'll wear it and then you guys will see." You observes each one of their costumes with a proud smile.

"Those are really great costumes." You shrug proudly. They all smile at each other like they were proud of what they've done.

"Ay, Aj– should've went with a pizza costume. Or a triangle. Fits more in your theme instead of a sheep." His wide smile immediately falls and you hear everyone laugh at your joke, your heart beating in excitement whenever you heard them all laugh.

The laughter dies down and a thought had just hit you, "Wait where's Niko?" Just then, a tall figure appeared.

Your mouth drops in shock as you place your hand above your mouth to contain your laughter "He looks ridiculous." Kenny says as he shakes his head.

Niko being tall mixed with him wearing a shark that was supposedly eating him was absolutely hilarious to everyone. You figured it was like a 'sharky' joke since Niko would do something like that.

"This guy needs to switch costumes with Kenny since big foot suits him more." Aj remarks. Chunkz's laughing was activated and everyone's laughs was heard.

"I don't think he needs a costume for that if he's going for big foot. He's already one." Those words easily flew out of your mouth and you look at Aj who was now laughing like there was no tomorrow.

"You're laughing a little too hard there. Mind I remind you that you're face is the shape of a literal triangle?" Niko blandly replies. Aj nudges him aggressively and he let's out a small 'ow'. Despite his height, Aj was strong.

"Hey, Niko!" You greet him with a smile expecting a hug like how the rest gave you a hug aswell. But deep down inside, you knew he'd never give you one. Just like how he ignores your presence whenever you hung out with them.

He just sends you a nod and a cold look at you which makes your smile immediately drop. He could never greet you like a person, could he?

You clench my jaw and you realize the rest of the members awkwardly shifting side to side.

"Alright then. Can someone show me where I could change?" Sharky nods as he leads you.

—

You finally put your mafia outfit on, excited to see everyone's reaction. You thought it would be kind of ironic when the name itself is mafia and you would be wearing the costume of a mafia.

You stare at yourself in the mirror and observe vourself with a small smile. The outfit consisted of a tight white long sleeves buttoned shirt that had a tie that was hung around the collar of your shirt and a black vest. On the bottom, a tight black skirt was hung around your hips and ended right on your thigh, accompanied with some very long boots.

For some fun, you had a fake gun that hung on the side of your skirt. This was going to be fun.

When you walk where they were going to film you hear a few sets of, woos and aye which makes you smile.

"Im not gonna lie, she's leng." Chunkz remarks and everyone laughs at his comment.

"What is she even supposed to be?" Niko says and there's a slight rudely manner in his tone. He was shifting uncomfortably from side to side all of a sudden as they all awaited for your response. Despite the way his manners were, for some reason you could pinpoint darkness in his gaze and the way he studies each part of your costume.

You could feel your face heating up and turning red and you thank god that you had some blush on. "I kind of thought it'd be ironic if I wore like a mafia costume." You shrug and walk over to them. Niko stays silent, tightening his jaw as his eyes rake over your body.

"That's real creative. Alright let's go film the introduction and then start with the real stuff." Chunkz says.

—

You finally filmed the introduction to the video where everyone introduces their outfits and now you were about to start the game.

You were the last one to walk in the house and the only seat available was annoyingly next to Niko. You roll your eyes and sit down as the crew gets ready to start filming.

"Someone switch seats with me." You hear Niko huff, annoyed that he had to sit next to you. You could slightly feel a pang in your heart but you chose to ignore it, still keeping on a stern face while looking straight ahead of you and not react to him like you were bothered by his comment.

But truth to be told, you were very much bothered. For some reason, You and Niko never really got along. In the very beginning you always thought he was joking since he was known for his ways with other people, obviously in a joking matter.

But the both of you never had a normal interaction, and you never really talked except when filming. He'd throw a hateful comment towards you which you would laugh it off for the sake of the video, but sometimes it did irritate you.

Especially because you never really got to know him or for him to get to know you. So what made him have the right to send hateful 'jokes' when you weren't even friends with him?

You'd accept the jokes if it was from Chunkz, Aj, Sharky or even Kenny, because you knew they'd never mean it. Apart from Niko, you never knew what was going on inside his brain. So you'd get a little silent whenever the comments from him come up and just give forced laughs throughout the entire video.

But in secret, you really did like Niko for some reason. You'd never admit it out aloud, but in your eyes he was the most attractive guy from all of them and his humor was the thing that drew you to him.

"Ay, stay a little mature for the video you big foot." Aj points at him and you laugh and so does the rest, not bothering to look at Niko.

You breathe in heavily because from the corner of your eye, you could feel Niko's gaze on you.

"And now, we're rolling!" We hear the crew behind the camera inform everyone.

"You see this girl on my left? Can you people believe that this is her first time playing mafia?"You furrow your eyebrows at Chunkz's words.

"Unless you meant Kenny I think im on your right." You tilt your head, confused.

Kenny and Aj get up to contain their laughter, disappointed in Chunkz and Chunkz smiles in embarrassment.

"I need you to cut that out. Cut that out." Chunkz demands.

You hear Niko's laugh and for some reason, your heart flutters and you swallow heavily. You turn to look at him and his white pearly teeth is on display and his eyes are slightly shut.

You could feel your face heating up and you turn around since you couldn't control the smile that was fighting to appear.

"This idiot next to me has the highest iq out of all of us and he cant even differentiate between his left and right." You shake your head in disappointment.

"Right, that's horror." Niko says in agreement and whenever you got him on your side with something, you'd always feel something in the pit of your stomach. It was a feeling you've never felt with someone before.

"Alright, alright. Settle down." Chunkz says.

"Ready everyone?" Kenny asks and everyone hums in agreement.

Each one of you takes a card and you could see everyone taking a glance at theirs and you try to read their expression. You could see a small smirk in Niko's face which brings you to figure that he might be one of the Mafia's. But Niko being Niko, makes it not convincing that he's one of the mafias. Maybe he just wanted to throw someone off.

You look down at your card and you felt your breath catch.

Mafia.

You could feel excitement running through your veins, but you were also a little nervous because you were terrible at lying and they knew that.

"Alright, everyone close your eyes." Chunkz announces and everyone complies.

"Mafias, open your eyes." You open your eyes and try to see who's your partner. Chunkz, Kenny, Sharky, and Aj being on your left with their eyes closed throws you off. Which meant only one thing.

You turn to look at Niko who's eyes was already on you, his hooded eyes studying your every move and you feel your breath hitch at the closeness.

He raises his eyebrows at you and a small smile appears on his face. You acknowledge him with a small nod and a smile aswell. What makes your smile drop is that the eye contact somehow held some tension and you swallow slightly at the way his eyes are studying every feature of yours and you couldn't seem to break the eye contact. Something in his eyes just made the eye contact so hypnotizing.

"Mafias, close your eyes." You immediately turn around and shut your eyes but careful not to make any noises.

"Open your eyes." Right after everyone opens their eyes' each one of everyone was throwing accusations at the other like, "I felt Aj's ant sized eyes open!", "Kenny's muscle tensed. I felt it.", "I heard chunkz's outfit move.", but you were too focused on the eye contact that had just happened. It never happens and the longest eye contact that had probably happened between you both was only 3 seconds. You could feel every part of your body heating up and your palms began sweating–

"Ay, ay, ay. y/n is too quiet. It's definitely her." You raise your eyebrows at Aj once he interrupts your thoughts.

"Shut up dwarf. You smiled once we all opened our eyes. I'd be careful with accusing the rest when i have something to hold against you." You throw back, and you weren't even lying because you actually saw Aj slightly smile.

"I'm on y/n's side. Aj tries to throw accusations at the rest to take attention off of him." Sharky nods at you and you cross your arms, proud of yourself.

"Ay that is not fair! You know what? Im calling it, its Sharky and y/n!" Aj yells at Sharky.

"I kind of agree with Aj. y/n seems a little suspicious. I mean you guys need to look at her costume shes literally the mafia." Niko says and Aj immediately nods.

Your mouth opens wide at the betrayal and you turn around to look at Niko, but everyone seems to take it as an expression of a civilian and not an expression of a Mafia getting betrayed by her partner, "What does that have to do with the game? I could calmly say that I am not mafia."

Everyone seems to buy it because you're never really a good liar at any games and the fact that this is your first time playing mafia.

In response, Niko raises his eyebrows, amused at how well you managed to lie.

"We need to take this seriously, y/n seems safe for now." Kenny refuses at the accusations that was being thrown right at you.

You turn to look at Niko, giving him a pointed stare and he just gives you a blank stare that fumes you.

"Im smelling vibes right there." Chunkz nods at Niko.

"Agreed." You nod in agreement.

"Notice how Chunkz and y/n never once accused the other? It's definitely both Chunkz and y/n." Niko remarks calmly which makes you worried that you'd get voted out within the first round, and Niko's sentence seemed so believable.

"It is so y/nnnnnnn y/l/nnn-" Niko claps both of his hands together like he figured it out but Kenny cuts him off.

"We all know y/n is a terrible liar and she could never look into our eyes and lie." Kenny disagrees.

You have no idea. You thought.

You suddenly realize this was Niko's way of making it believe that you weren't 'mafia'. He was stretching the situation and he knew someone would defend you since they all knew you could never lie. Him overdoing it would just take attention off of you.

You turn to look at Niko and his eyes were already on you and you spot a small smile on his face and you try to fight yourself from laughing.

"They're idiots." He mouths to you and makes sure the camera sees the moment since he wanted this entire thing in the comment section how everyone missed the fact that he insulted them. You nod in agreement, a wide grin forming on your face.

All of them seem to take Kenny's sentence into consideration and the silence was interrupted by sharky, "True, true, true." Sharky says and he squints at Aj.

"Why you looking at me?!" Aj yells defensively.

"I'm voting for you." Sharky says as he drinks from the water bottle right next to him.

Aj jumps on Sharky and starts 'beating' him up and Kenny places one of his hands on the side of his forehead and a small smile was on his face despite of making the expression of a disappointed person.

"You know when a feather lands on you and feel nothing? Yeah? That's exactly how I feel right– wait ow, ow, ow–"

"Yeah what were you saying? Alright then, I'm voting for you Sharmarke!" Aj points at him and then he gets off of him.

"Ooo, full name aswell." Kenny remarks.

"Ay that's not fair! He has no reasoning!" Sharky talks to the camera.

"Looks like I'm voting for Aj. Get his pizza face out of here." Kenny comments and Aj looks at the camera.

"I still have my eyes on y/n to be honest, looks like I'll vote for her." Chunkz raises his hands up in surrender.

You wanted to save yourself in any chance so they don't put their suspect on you in the next round because you already knew Aj was going to be out this round.

So thats exactly what you did.

You turn to look at Chunkz and his eyes meet yours, "I promise you, im civilian." You look into Chunkz's eyes and you try not to blink, something you do whenever you lie.

"Nevermind then. I take my words back. I'm voting for Aj aswell. I know my gyal right here would never lie to me." He places his arm around you and you make sure that they weren't looking at you when a wide grin forms on your face.

Your heart was thumping so hard you could practically feel yourself almost vomiting. Lying always made you feel sick. You almost felt like you were about to out yourself to them.

But then, you feel a large hand brushing yours slightly, like it was inviting you into holding his hands. It was as if he read your mind. Your hands twitch into his, your hand intertwining with his large hand. He places both of your hands in a spot where the camera doesn't catch on the gesture.

Thump, thump, thump. That was all you heard in your ears. You have never held hands with Niko or even touched him in anyway. You never greeted each other which made it weird to you, you could practically feel your body heating up.

While you were too busy looking at Aj who was trying to change anyone's point of view on why he isn't the mafia, Niko was too focused on your facial features and reading your expression.

"Don't take it personally Aj, but you need to get out of here." Everyone nods at your words and Aj looks at the camera.

"See people, this is what I go through whenever im around them."

"Yeah not like my votes going to matter either way, but bye-bye Aj." Niko waves at him.

—

"See! I told you. You guys are a bunch of idiots im 100% sure it's y/n!" Aj points at you.

Everyone's disappointed yells was heard when Aj reveals that he was a civilian and you turn to look at the camera with a slight smirk.

"Get out of here man." Kenny says as he gestures with his hands for him to leave.

"It's Niko and Sharky! It's Niko and Sharky I'm telling you!" Chunkz tells the rest and the camera.

Before Aj leaves, you send him a small smile and raise your eyebrows like a small indicator that you were indeed mafia and you could see his smile drop and looking at you with betrayal. It was as if he wanted to vote you out and he wasn't actually suspecting you, but now that you sent him a look, it was all the proof that he needed.

"Wallahi I knew it." You hear him mumble and you only hear it and so does the camera that was zooming in your interaction with Aj.

—

Sharky was voted out eventually in the previous round because of how he was silent the entire time which thankfully put you in the safe zone, but everyone started suspecting Niko.

You bite your nails, anxious that you'll lose and be alone if Niko does go out this round.

It was time to vote and Niko shrugs and says, "I'm going for Kenny. y/n's terrible at lying and shes short. And chunkz is just the second mafia." Niko looked proud of his insult and you roll your eyes and they all laugh.

Kenny shakes his head and laughs, "I'm putting my vote on Niko. I could just tell that it's him." Kenny says and you look over at chunkz to see his expression whether he agrees or not.

If Chunkz agrees, you also had to aswell. But you had to agree way before Chunkz speaks so they don't put their suspicion on you for your delayed response. You could see Chunkz slightly nod but no one catches it. Bingo.

"Yeah same aswell. What do you say, Chunkz?”

Niko calmly shrugs, "If you want to vote me out, vote me out. But you are voting the wrong person out." You turn to look at him and you catch a slightly pissed look that he sends you.

You try not to laugh and mouth 'trust me' to him and his clenched jaw seems to relax.

"Right here? You know what that says? NDL. You know what that means? Niko don't lie."

"Shush, nobody cares." Chunkz replies and both kenny and you immediately laugh.

"It also could stand as Niko does lie. You fucking idiot." Kenny says.

"Yeah, fuck it. I'm voting for Niko aswell just for that stupid statement." It was declared that your partner was voted out. You really wanted to win this.

—

You look around the sky and hum while everyone waits for Niko to get out of the tank. When your gaze falls on him, you were met with a drenched Niko. Your breath was stolen at the sight, your lips slightly parted.

The way little water droplets fall from his slightly curly hair and onto his face and his NDL shirt was hugging his body from the effect of being dunked into the water made you go crazy. Why did he have to be so attractive?

"Stop staring y/n. Niko, show us your card." Chunkz nudges me playfully and you look away, embarrassed that you had been caught but also thankful that no one heard the first statement except you.

"Show us your card, Omilana!" Kenny yells.

He pinches his nose in disappointment, pretending that he was a civilian.

"You know that we lost right–" He pulls the card out and began laughing as he shows it to us. You act surprised and you hug Chunkz, 'happy' that you both caught one of the mafias as the both of you jump in sync.

"The impossible happened! We got Niko out as mafia!" Kenny says.

When you and Chunkz disconnect from the hug, you give each other the look once Kenny speaks. This was going to be fun.

—

After a lot of discussing for who it could be, Kenny suspects that its you and chunkz and you have your suspect on Kenny.

"I could tell that it's Kenny. From the beginning hes been trying to get on my side by defending me, so later on when he votes out his partner Niko, it doesn't seem suspicious. And then-"

"Yeah, yeah-" Chunkz says in agreement.

"And then Niko tried to do the same tactic aswell by voting his partner off, so then it would show that Niko would never do this to his partner? So then Kenny wins the entire game!"

"y/n you're onto something." Chunkz points at you as he gets comfortable in the couch.

"Are we forgetting that y/n's an actress?" Kenny questions, and the clear innocent tone stung you in the heart.

"Use your mind, she's also a terrible liar and I knew her since middle school. I'm voting for you wallahi."

You nod in agreement. "I'm voting for him aswell." You try not to break into laughter the entire time, making sure your face is serious and stern. You might've been a terrible liar, but being an actress really helps the situation.

"Now let's go get Kenny wet! I like to see him wet." Chunkz says enthusiastically and you place both of your hands in embarrassment. Behind the set, the camera crew were all laughing.

Niko, Aj, and sharky just came down so they don't really know who was voted out, and you could clearly see that Niko's eyes was searching mine for an answer. But you try to stay stern as possible as we leave the set and go to the tank, seeing Kenny getting ready to get in the tank. The three of them had to stay inside since the camera crew requested them to stay until it was declared who won.

"You're very dumb, Chunkz. You'll see that its y/n." Kenny shakes his head as he waits for someone to press the button that leads for him to get dunked.

"Yeah well, Niko said the same thing. Yall are on my innocent gyall today. So nobody cares what you have to say." Right after what Chunkz said, he immediately pushes the button and Kenny falls into the water.

"Show us your card Kenny!" You yell and Chunkz's innocent smile as he waits for Kenny to get out of the water breaks your heart, but regardless, you felt proud that you had managed to lie.

Kenny shakes his head, disappointed at Chunkz. He holds up his card and you grin so widely your lips started to hurt. Chunkz looked shock, from the way his lips turned into an 'O'.

"We won?" You hear Niko from behind you, and you see Aj and Sharky following aswell.

You pull your card out to show it to both Chunkz and Kenny and you started laughing so hard that you almost fell.

"She tricked all of us! She's evil! This game is evil!" Aj points at you and Chunkz still looked baffled.

"I don't know how I managed to lie! But I did it!" You talk to the camera with the widest grin ever.

You feel a pair of hands that rested on your waist, hugging you from behind in victory which resulted to you feeling butterflies at the sudden contact. He turns you around and places his hands around your waist once again, everyone still shocked at how you managed to lie.

"I can't believe it! She actually won!" When he disconnects the hug, he places both of his hands on his face and began to talk to the camera about how shocked and how proud he was.

You could feel your heart rate raising by the second at how happy he looked and how genuine he was about your win, and you could feel your lips twitch into a smile by just observing from afar.

A hand reaches the side of your shoulder to pull you into a side hug, "I actually still can't believe it. Never trusting you again." You flinch a little at Chunkz talking when he was silent this entire time.

"I can't believe it either." Your eyes are still on Niko who was still talking to the camera.

"You've got a little crush on my brother Niko, eh?" He teases you with a whisper and you roll your eyes playfully.

"Never in a million years." You give him a pointed stare as everyone walks to the camera to do the outro.

"And if there was one thing that you had to stay, from the bottom of your heart, what would you say, y/n?" Niko questions you and he snakes an arm around waist and pulls you closer to him.

You barely show that the contact effected you,but on the inside you felt your heart flutter. "Play the trailer." You point your index finger to the camera and they all cheer you which makes you chuckle.

"And cut!"

Once everyone heard this statement, almost everyone separated to go drink water or go on their phone. The only person that stood right across of you was Niko, who was studying each part of you. The camera crew and the rest went inside and you just stood here with Niko.

"y/n?" He half whispered under his breath. That brought you back to reality because you didn't even realize that Niko had gotten closer to you.

You hum, too lost in his brown eyes.

He looked hesitant to speak whatever that was on his mind since you catch his mouth slightly parting for a second, but immediately shuts it.

"Can I kiss you?" He looks down at your lips for a moment and snakes his large hands around your waist.

Your eyes are wide and his are hooded, indicating that he was too focused on your answer and your lips rather than your reaction. You open your mouth to reply, but you just couldn't. You could feel your knees becoming weak at his request.

You take too long to even say anything that you could pinpoint the disappointment in his face and he just gives you a weak smile, "Sorry, that was a dumb question." you hear him mumble when he awkwardly places his hands in his pockets.

He's about to turn around, but you stand on your toes to reach him and you wrap your arms around his neck, his hot lips meeting yours. You could feel the shock coming from Niko from the unexpected movement because he did not kiss you back the first few seconds, but his first instinct when he was hit back with reality was to wrap his large hands around the front of your neck and the other pulling you aggressively by your waist to deepen the kiss.

The kiss was desperate, it was as if it's been waited out for too long and now the both of you got what you wanted.

He pulls away for a second to catch his breath, but as soon as he breathed in, he doesn't waste a second to place his warm lips back where they belonged.

The kiss was filled and mixed with prolonged feelings, passion, lust from the way he'd tug your bottom lip and then let go so he could breath and go back to kissing you hungrily.

You could feel your skin getting hotter each time he tugs your waist closer to him, as if the both of you weren't already close to the point where the only thing that separated you were your clothes.

"Not even a few minutes that we leave them for and now they're on top of each other." You hear a familiar voice which leads you to be the first to break the kiss, because Niko was still gripping your front neck and your waist which looked like he wasn't going to stop either way.

"Ay cover Aj's eyes. Keep it pg, there's a kid in here." Sharky remarks and they all laugh at his joke and Aj rolls his eyes.

Niko rests his head on the crook of your neck, too breathless to even say anything. You look at him and he looks like a huge mess with his swollen lips.

You feel your cheeks go red at the fact that you had been caught, and you let go off of Niko's grip as if they hadn't seen you already.

"We'll leave you two be, 'miss never in a million years'. " You hear a slight teasing tone in Chunkz's voice and you send him a glare since you exactly knew what he was talking about.

"Wait what does that mean? What is he talking about?" Niko furrows his eyebrows at Chunkz's words and looks at you for an explanation.

"He confronted me about liking you and I said never in a million years." You say a little embarrassed. Niko snakes his long arms right where they were before they came out. He hums and stays silent for a few seconds.

"Your ears." Niko's the first to break the silence, his eyebrows furrowed and he looked genuinely confused.

"What about them?"

"Just had a thought about them looking like huge elf ears. Don't worry I still like you with your huge elf ears. Next time wear an elf costume, it suits you more. Oh right you don't need any costume if you're going as an elf-"

You silently gasp and pinch his arm, "Oh ow, ow- I'm joking, I'm joking. Thats what you get for that remark about me earlier." He laughs mockingly at your sad attempt of trying to hurt him.

"Well you do look like big foot. I don't look like an elf." You argue back.

A question had just hit you and you really wanted to ask, "Also, why the hell were you always ignoring me?"

He almost looked hesitant, "I was um- nervous." He clears his throat as his face goes all red and he tries to look at anywhere except your face. You raise your eyebrows, shocked at the unexpected answer.

You snort at the confession, "Come here, big foot." You wrap your hands around his neck once again and this time his lips pulls you into a sweet pull. And as it seems, you had just misread the entire thing.

It was just his way of telling you that he likes you.

———————————

[chirpsythismorning]

Welcome to a series I'm calling:

Yes, that scene did foreshadow Mike's monologue was disingenuous

Because you'd be surprised how many times the show (even prior to s4) has poked fun at Mike's monologue in the most random ways.

The Bingham's Beautiful Performance

First we have Suzie's sister on the floor, bedazzled and sporting a veil all while her brother is filming. This is basically the kids attempting to present a tale of a romance ending in gruesome tragedy.

Our bride here is El. The edition of the veil could be a nod to the loud majority's series long assumption that Mike and El are going to end the show together, preferably getting married.

Unfortunately, this is the closest thing they'll ever get to it, with the acknowledgement of that possibility in and of itself being mocked.

This next shot makes the likelihood that these scenes are connected pretty much indisputable, that being the edition of the record player behind the bride's head.

The only reason they made a point of having Will push the radio out of El's way, was to subtly connect this moment in Surfer boy to the beautiful performance we saw at the Bingham's only a few episodes prior (scenes that are widely known to be filled with foreshadowing for the season's ending).

A few bylers have already talked about these parallels, so this isn't new knowledge per say. But I do know some have dropped it altogether as possible foreshadowing for whatever reason, while most fans outside of the byler fandom insist it only foreshadowed Eddie's death. However, I think there are too many details that equally, if not more connect it to Mike's monologue than to Eddie's death.

Some fans have also noticed how Will was missing in quite a few shots at the Bingham's, which is interesting, but not all that surprising. Especially in this case...

Will. Will is the director

Director Will: GET THAT RADIO OUT OF MY SHOT!

Will directed the monologue when he used his feelings to inspire Mike, with the reminder of it (literally in the moment) directing Mike to confess to El, just like Suzie's brother directed that beautiful performance. Both performances convincingly left its audience thinking that the performers feelings in that moment were believable and...

genuine...

[especiallythewomenandthechildren]

As If Destiny

A/N: I too have fallen ill to the widespread disease that is young snow 😮‍💨 like him being so fine is so unnecessary. Some quick notes: I've never actually written a fic on here nor a reader one in general so please deal with me! Also I wrote out this whole thing, posted it, then it went into oblivion and I had to rewrite it completely so I apologize! Please let me know if I should add anything or am missing certain details that seem necessary. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, thank you loves❤️

Summary: You've always been kind hearted yet admirably defiant. Or that is at least one of the ways Coriolanus Snow would describe you. Ever since grade school, you have always been on the same level as him in academics and one of his few competitors for the Plinth Prize. But as tragedy struck your family, Coriolanus thought you would fall away from his life, but instead, you got even more intertwined (not to mention the complicated past knots tying your families together).

Warnings: Terminal illness, parent death, death and brutality (it is the hunger games after all) characters may be ooc. I read the book a while ago but don't really remember much of Snows way of thinking (I mean I know its toxic and insane but yk the other things) so I will mostly be basing off the film and my own thoughts. Also I can't spell for the life of me so be prepared for bad spelling and grammar. Enjoy loves!

Blood just kept on coming. And coming. And coming. Every violent cough shaking your mother's body was followed by spatters of hot, deep red blood. You quickly tried to clean it up as soon as it came out to protect your mother's dignity and to make sure she didn't choke. It took a few minutes, but the coughing session passed and your mother took deep gulps of water, fighting off your attempt to get her to slow down.

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With her engrossed in her cup, you steal a glance at the clock on the wall. As the time for the start of classes nears, the more axinety builds in your chest. Your mother follows your gaze and smiles warmly.

"Run along my little scholar. I will be fine and even better knowing you are sticking your nose in every textbook you can find."

She says in a hoarse voice. You smile slightly and lightly laugh. "That's not how school works, mom. I stick my nose into tissues because of how many textbooks I have to read ."

She rolls her eyes at your little comment and does a little motion gesturing you should be on your way. Shaking your head, you retorted "I still have half an hour till classes begin and I have plenty of time for Rhayen (your driver) to take me to the academy."

You attempt to assure her. Though, it was now your mother's turn to shake her head.

"I know you prefer walking there, don't try to fool me now. You will come back after school and I will be fine. Don't worry, darling."

With a sigh, you stand up and dust off your rouge colored academy uniform and grab your bag. You give your mother a soft kiss on her temple and steal one more glance at the clock. You rush through the halls and down the stairs of your luxurious apartment. The academy wasn't too far from your home, so you could enjoy the walk and the early spring air ruffling your hair.

You tried to smile and nod at the strangers walking past. You needed to clear your mind (distract yourself) so you examined every part of the high class society. Their eyes, faces, hair, clothing, and whatever else you could analyze. With this strategy, it doesn't take long untill the grand structure of the Capital academy to come into view.

As you near the school, you notice a certain curly haired boy sitting on the steps. You feel a sense of relief and pick up your pace. You stop infront of the boy, who seemed too engrossed into his book to notice your sudden appearance.

"Are you behind on the reading or are you being a bookworm?" You question.

He snaps his head up with his familiar smile. "Had some extra time and motivation, so thought I would trudge through this absolute -"

You nudge him with your shoulder to motion to stop talking.

"Yeah yeah I know but be careful: Professor Rhaen always spawns out of nowhere and I would personally prefer if you were not on the receiving end of one of his lectures."

Everyone knew how hard it was to please your professor and how strict your he was. Especially with Sejanus.

He didn't care about his money: professor Rhaen still felt Sejanus was lesser because he was born in the districts.

That sentiment is widely shared with your classmates. From the first day, when little kind hearted Sejanus came to the capital, he was met with stares and whispers. You specifically remember Arachne snubbing the boy. But when lunch came and he sat all alone, seemingly dejected, you sauntered over to his table. Then, just like now, his brown eyes widened in surprise. You smiled and sat down in the chair across from him.

"What's your favorite smell?"

He just stared at you for a while. who asks that. The silence continued untill you got too impatient, a trait you still struggle with, and answer your own question.

"Mine is vanilla because it smells like the sweet cakes my mom makes on special occasions or even sometimes when she is in a really good mood."

A smell that has slowly been creeping its way back into your life after the war. He laughed at your confession and replied that his was lavender, the smell of his mother, or as he calls her, ma.

He was still warry as why you were sitting with him. It was clear you were well liked by your peers and teachers and always seemed to posses the right answers, exemplified in your shared morning classes. But as you both continued your meal and conversation, he felt as if he had been sent an angel that day.

"There's that smile, I've missed it." Sejanus says, breaking you out of your reminiscence.

You duck your head down in some sort of embarrassment and shame. It felt wrong to be smiling and laughing nowadays, especially with the worsening of your mother's condition.

Noticing your reaction and following your train of thought, Sejanus tried to backtrack.

"I didn't mean it like that, Y/N! I'm sorry, you've been suffering and here I am saying stuff like that. I- I- wow I'm such an idiot! I'm truly sorry."

You look up to his genuinely defated and apolgetic face. "You have no reason to be sorry, it's okay. And it's not like I'm the one suffering. I can walk, talk normally, and am not coughing up blood while my face pales and hollows." You say solemnly.

Sejanus opened his mouth to question but was cut off as you both reached your destination. It was best not to discuss your mother's condition around your gossip privy peers around.

You walk to your desks and switch to the topic of later tonight, which you would be having dinner with the Plinths, an occurrence that is becoming more and more often. The last few of your classmates filled in, including Arachne, Clemensia, Festus, and Felix.

A few paces later comes in the charming and handsome Coriolanus Snow. You wouldn't be embarrassed to admit that description, any girl with eyes would agree. With that ever plastered, neutral yet calculated expression on his face, he quickly made his way to his seat, on the other side of you.

He wasn't necessarily friends with you or even Sejanus, but he was far kinder to him than the others were. That's probably one of the many aspects that makes him more appealing. You definitely didn't have a crush on him, but you have zoned out on his side profile once or twice.

Hey, you can't blame a girl!

Well that was your excuse to Sejanus, who caught you seconds in on staring at the blonde. But that was a long time ago. Now you were always zoned out on her.

That's exactly where your mind drifted to as Professor Rhaen began his lecture on the reading assigned. And it stayed there untill the sound of a pen hitting the marble floor brought you back.

You thought it could have been you, especially in your state of hazy focus and sleep deprivation. But taking a quick look at your feet, it was Coriolanus's.

Perfect and proper Coriolanus. Huh.

You hastily grab it and give it back to him, which he accepts with a small greatful smile. A smile that quickly turns into a look of concern.

He grabs your wrist and began examining it. You were stunned and curious what he was looking at until you noticed the deep and clear blood on your wrist, clear even on your deep red uniform.

You must have gotten it when taking care of your mother! You were mentally kicking yourself for being so careless.

"Your bleeding!" He states worridly. He quickly grabs a handkerchief from his bag and attempts to put it on your wrist, but you snap it away from his hold.

You noticed the initials on the white handkerchief. It was his father's. You certainly weren't going to stain such an item of sentiment with blood that wasn't even yours. Her blood.

He was moving to grab your wrist once again but was interrupted by the clear nosies of irritation and frustration of your classmates.

While you and Snow were having your little debacle, Professor Rhaen assigned an extensive research paper that will be due in two months. You understood your peers frustration, the longer you had in this class for an assignment, the more work and harsher the grading will be. But you were greatful for this assignment. It would be a wonderful distraction.

You took a quick look around to gage their reactions and saw Arachne's scowl which made you inwardly chuckle at her expression. But when you came back around to Coriolanus, you saw him still staring at with you a questioning expression.

Questions he would be unable to voice as the bell rang to signal the end of the first period. He tried to stop you or slow you down, but you were extremely focused on getting your materials in your bag and getting out of the intense stare of the blonde.

Sejanus noticed your haste and helped you out, while Snow was attempting to catch up, handkerchief still in hand. But you sped out and straight to the bathroom to wash off the blood covering your hands.

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A/N: Sorry to cut it off here! I felt this was already so long (future me after doing some revisions and having some actual writing under my belt - no it's not.), but don't worry I plan on posting again soon! I am excited to see where this is going I hope you all are too!

[tlbodine]

Trans Horror Authors

My January reading challenge is to read a book by a trans author. Luckily, there are many out there to choose from! Here are some who write in the horror genre, because that's my area of expertise. If you know of others, whether in horror or other genres, reply with your recommendations!

In no particular order...

Caitlin R. Kiernan

A genderfluid Irish-American paleontologist who also writes spectacular cosmic horror, what's not to love? They've been repping queerness since the 80s and have a robust library to choose from, so you're bound to find something you'll like!

Poppy Z. Brite

Billy Martin, whose work is published under the name Poppy Z. Brite, was a big name in the Gothic horror scene of the 1990s and continues to be a frequently-recommended author, although he doesn't publish as much horror these days.

Julya Oui

A Malaysian trans woman and prolific short story author. She has several collections out that you can browse, if short stories are your speed! Maybe start with Taiping Tales of Terror, which draws heavily on her native folklore and influences.

Rivers Solomon

A nonbinary, intersex Black author now living in the U.K., Solomon has three books out and they all look spectacular. Their books lean more toward sci-fi/fantasy, but their newest title Sorrowland looks to be pretty solidly Gothic as well.

Gretchen Felker-Martin

Trans woman, film critic, and unapologetically outspoken. Her best-known book is Manhunt, a post-apocalyptic horror tale that doesn't pull any punches. She's got another new release slated for 2024 to keep an eye on.

Hailey Piper

One of the most prolific authors I can name off the top of my head, Hailey also has several novellas out in the world + a few novels. If the intersection of queer fiction, body horror, and cosmic horror sounds like your thing, you can find something in her backlist. Also she's here on tumblr, go learn more at @haileypiperfights

Eve Harms

A bit of a new player on the field, but well worth checking out. Eve is a Jewish trans woman. Her debut novel, Transmuted, is a breathless body horror romp. She also makes a bunch of handmade zines, which I just think are neat :)

Natalie Ironside

One of Tumblr's very own better-known names, Natalie is queer, disabled, trans, hilarious, and author to at least three novels I can think of plus some other stuff too - go scope her out on @natalieironside for the details.

.....I know I'm missing a ton of people but these were the first ones that came to mind. I have to get back to writing, but I hope this inspires y'all to pick up a book you haven't read yet, and to add to my list down in the notes.

Happy reading, y'all :)

[vintageshanny]

Taste of the Ocean

Content: A somewhat dejected Elvis invites his girlfriend on a vacation to cheer him up after filming Blue Hawaii. Smut ensues. (Please suspend disbelief that some of these actions might not be practical in the ocean, and you will enjoy this a lot more 😉). Written in response to the request below. 18+

Hi. May I request an early 60s Elvis in which he is with female reader at Hawaii for vacation and he is like very horny for her, even though she doesn't provoke him. Very detailed and passionate smut please and thank you.

April 1961

“This was a nice idea, honey,” Elvis said as he stared up at the crescent moon casting a glow over the water. “I’m glad ya talked me into a midnight swim.”

“Me too,” you smiled. “It’s nice that you decided to stay a few days after filming for a vacation. Thanks for inviting me.”

Elvis turned his gaze from the moon back to your face, looking slightly surprised. “Of course, baby. Y-y-y’know how much I missed ya.”

You actually were never really sure how much he missed you, if at all. He always seemed to enjoy your time together in Memphis, and he said all the right things, things that you were fairly certain he believed in the moment when he said them. The first time you’d heard rumors of him and a co-star, he’d insisted that the studio put these stories out to get people talking about the movie. You wanted to believe that was true, but you weren’t so naive as to think he would never be tempted to seek the comfort of another woman when he was gone on these movie shoots. Especially after everything he’d been through these last few years. You’d made a conscious decision to trust his words to you over any rumors and give him all the comfort and support you could in the moments when you were together. He always gave so much of himself, it only seemed right that he deserved this in return.

In his uncanny way of reading your thoughts, Elvis smiled sheepishly as he brushed a wet lock of hair off your shoulder. “Thanks for always bein’ here when I need ya, baby. It’s been a really stressful shoot,” he added with a sigh. “Each movie I make seems ta get worse.”

“You know what helps with stress? Floating on your back,” you said with a smile.

“Is that right?” Elvis smirked. “This isn’t jus’ you tryin’ ta get a better view of me in these tiny swim shorts I swiped from the set?” he teased.

“What? I would never!” you giggled, feigning innocence, glad that your blushing face was at least partially obscured by the cover of night. “I’ll even demonstrate for you.” You leaned back, letting your body float on the water, rocked by its gentle movements. “See? All the stress is just melting away,” you announced with a grin.

Elvis looked down at the peaceful expression on your face, your beauty seeming to glow in the moonlight. His eyes moved down to where your breasts swayed up and down in time with the water, barely covered by your white bikini top, then continued over the curve of your hips to that spot he knew was just for him. He could feel his swim shorts growing even tighter as he took note of the curly little hairs escaping from your swimsuit bottom.

“This is a nice bathing suit, honey,” he murmured as he fiddled with the strings that tied at your hips, a warmth continuing to consume him.

“Thanks,” you whispered, smiling a little bit. You didn’t normally wear such a risque suit, but you’d wanted to make sure you’d get his attention back from…wherever it might have wandered in the last couple months. “Why don’t you try floating?”

“Baby, I’m floatin’ on cloud nine jus’ lookin’ at how beautiful you are.” Elvis slowly started to pull on the strings that he’d been playing with. “There’s really only one thing that could make me feel even better.”

Your eyes popped open as you realized that Elvis had deftly untied and removed your bikini bottom. “What are you doing? Elvis, someone might see!”

“Shh, honey, it’s dark and ain’t nobody out here but us.” He tucked your suit bottom into the front of his shorts, his hardened dick having created a convenient little tent for it. “Lemme show ya how much I’ve missed ya.” You shivered a little as Elvis’ fingertips ghosted over your fuzzy mound and pushed your legs open, letting the moonlight bathe your throbbing pussy. “Damn honey, look atcha all wet for me already,” he groaned, spreading your lips and running a finger through your soft folds.

“It’s, it’s cuz we’re in the ocean,” you sputtered out, trying your best to stay still and keep floating.

Elvis leaned down and licked right down your center with his thick tongue before pulling back with that big goofy grin. “Nah, baby, that ain’t the ocean, that’s the sweetest pussy I’ve ever tasted. Ya been savin’ that sweet cream for me?”

You nodded, moaning with pleasure as Elvis dove back between your thighs. As you started writhing with pleasure, he used one strong hand to support your back so you wouldn’t sink under the water. The other one wrapped around one of your thighs and kept you firmly pressed against his face, his tongue dancing over your clit, alternately flicking and sucking it. Elvis continued lapping at you, the saltiness of the ocean mixing with the sweet and tangy flavor of your arousal. By the time his tongue pushed its way into your tight little opening, his nose rubbing against your sensitive clit, you were ready to explode with desire. All you could do was hope that your intense moans didn’t carry too far through the warm Hawaiian breeze.

After licking up every last drop of you, Elvis gently released his hold on you, your legs sinking down onto somewhat solid ground, your toes burrowing into the sandy ocean floor.

“Is that the kind of stress relief ya had in mind while floatin’ on your back?” Elvis’ breath tickled your ear as he pulled you close. You could feel under the water that he desperately needed some relief of his own.

“Better than anything I could imagine,” you whispered back. “Now it’s your turn.” You reached for his waistband, letting your fingers trail over his bulge, his body giving an involuntary little shudder.

“Oh, honey, ya ain’t gotta do that out here,” he protested weakly.

“I want to,” you insisted softly. “I missed you too, y’know.”

“Oh yeah?” he smiled. “What did ya miss the most about me?”

“Well, for one thing, I had no one to make me laugh like you do.” You tugged the tiny swim shorts down his legs and helped him step out of them, gripping them in your hand so they wouldn’t float away.

“And seeing me naked is gonna help with that?” Elvis’ mouth twitched as he tried not to laugh at his own joke. He leaned back and allowed his body to float to the surface, his pulsing dick on full display.

“No baby,” you teased back, wrapping your hand around him. Your insides tingled at the way the brown hairs at his base seemed to float around in the water. “This is no laughing matter. You could injure someone with this. It’s dangerous.” Elvis’ loud burst of laughter quickly turned to a moan as you took him in your mouth, your tongue caressing every inch of him. You could feel his sensitive tip graze the back of your throat as you took him in as deep as you could. As his body started thrashing about from the pleasure, you tried to support his back the way he had done with you, but before you could get a good grip on him, the force of his movements had pulled you both under the water.

“Wh-wh-what are ya tryin’ ta do, mama? Drown me?” He came up spitting out water and laughing so hard he could barely breathe.

You giggled too and spit out the salty water that had filled your mouth. “I’m sorry, you were moving around too much!”

“Well what do ya expect honey? Ya takin’ me all the way to the base makes me feel some kinda way. I-I can’t control it.”

“Hmm, maybe we’ll have to find a different way to relieve your stress,” you purred in his ear, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“I think I know jus’ the thing, baby,” he growled softly, giving your ear a nibble as he reach down and lined himself up with you under the water.

“Oh, God,” you moaned out as he pushed inside of you, stretching your opening around his thickness.

“It’s jus me, baby, but ya ain’t been the first ta get us confused,” he teased as he held your body down on his cock.

“Ha,” you tried to laugh at his joke, but the feeling of him deep inside of you had you in some kind of alternate reality where all you could experience was pleasure.

“Ohh, baby,” Elvis groaned as he gently lifted you and brought you back down on him. He could feel his dick twitching inside of you, releasing all the tension and stress that had built up inside of him. “Oh, shit, uhh, that feels so good honey.” With one last thrust upward, he stilled his movements and just hugged you tightly to him, burying his face in your neck, his soft lips pressed against your skin.

“How do you feel now?” you whispered, stroking his wet hair, feeling his chest heave up and down with the release of emotion.

“The best back float I’ve ever done,” he said, looking up at you with a smile. He tried to ignore the thought that popped into his brain next. You’ve had your moment of freedom in the ocean. Now on to the next crappy movie. Instead he squeezed your hand and asked, “Ya ready ta go inside?” You nodded and held his swimsuit out to him. “Gonna be fun tryin’ ta put these wet shorts back on in the water,” he chuckled.

“Wait, where’s the bottom to my suit?” you asked in a panic.

“Uh oh, it was wrapped up in my shorts, honey, and it ain’t there no more.” You could see Elvis trying to stifle a laugh.

“It’s not funny! How am I supposed to get out now?” you yelped.

“Hmm, I guess we’re jus’ stuck out here forever,” he smiled, pulling you in for a hug. “But at least we have these flotation devices.” He sneakily started to untie your top as well. “Might as well take this off too,” he murmured as he flung it to the side and wrapped his lips around one of your bare nipples, grazing it gently with his teeth.

“Mmm,” you moaned, holding tightly to him. “I think I’d love being stuck here with you.” You could feel his arousal growing again.

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added or removed): @whositmcwhatsit @missmaywemeetagain @lookingforrainbows @thatbanditqueen @be-my-ally @ellie-24 @from-memphis-with-love @arrolyn1114

[blouisparadise]

Here are some amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of March. We really hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Bloodsucker | Not Rated | 1,738 words

Harry and Louis’ passionate night takes a violent turn.

2) Hell Is A Teenage Boy | Explicit | 1,970 words

In the quiet suburbs of Roswell, the Tomlinson family has new neighbors: Harry and Alice Styles, a lovely and happy couple. Where Louis, a hopeless rebel fell for the man in the suit. Of course, he can't forget his pretty model wife holding his arm. Simple details.

3) Sweet But Psycho Only For You | Mature | 2,728 words

Finding your forever person is something that many dream to do. For some it takes longer than others and the trials it takes to get to that person can be overwhelming. For Harry it was simple. He didn’t have to relive a Shakespearean play or over exaggerated drama to find his love. He met his person at a corner store at 3am yelling at a clerk over cereal and instantly fell in love. It was all so simple. They dated, fought, fucked, moved in together. Oh, so simple. Until it wasn’t.

4) Blue Yarn | Explicit | 2,875 words

Louis was on his hands and knees on their bed, in nothing but the blue jumper Harry had knitted him, arching his back beautifully, fucking himself on… And Harry had to take one step closer before he realized that, outside of Louis’ bum, the end of his thickest knitting needle was poking out. Holy fucking shit. Louis was fucking himself on Harry's knitting needle.

5) To Make a Home Where There Is None | Mature | 3,907 words

Harry shows up and doesn't want to leave. Louis doesn't mind too much.

6) Your Hand In My Hand, So Still And Discreet | Explicit | 4,513 words

“It was about how cold he was under me. How still. It was knowing that even if he had died, even if he was already dead, he would still be mine.” Louis thought he knew each one of his boyfriend’s stories, secrets, and kinks. Turns out Harry was keeping a crucial one hidden away.

7) Haze On The Horizon | Explicit | 6,397 words

“— Louis?” He couldn’t speak. He should hang up. He should’ve never called. His breaths were building into a staccato. “…baby? Are you doing alright? Talk to me, please.” Harry sounded so concerned, and it was quickly weakening his defences. No. No, he wouldn’t. No- “Omega,” Harry called, voice low and just shy of his alpha voice, even through the phone, and Louis just… Louis broke. “I miss you! I-” he cried out, an agonising crack in his voice, a loud sob being ripped from him. “— I need you!” Louis sniffled harshly, slumping, before admitting, quieter, “I need you.” Louis finds himself unexpectedly going into soft heat. Which would’ve been fine, except he is hundreds of miles away from his alpha, Harry, and he needs him. They make it work.

8) Pour Some Sugar (Wax) On Me | Explicit | 11,213 words

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

“Okay, so I just need you to hug your legs to your chest for me, and we can get started.” Swallowing past the lump that has lodged in his throat, Louis reaches down and grabs his shins, hugging his legs up to his chest, effectively putting his bare asshole, taint, and balls on display.

9) The Room Thief | Not Rated | 12,321 words

Louis: Can I come over? Need your help. Niall: Did someone die? I don’t need to help you bury a body do I? Wait, did you behead one of your alpha flatmates? I hope it was the one that smells like cherries. That is such a weird scent for an alpha. It’s disturbing. And I can’t even smell it. Louis: I’ve just been kicked out. Can I crash on your couch? Niall: Zayn’s in class. I’m here so get over here NOW. Louis: Thanks mate. Gonna pack a few things and will head over. Be there in about a half hour.

10) I Dig Your Cinema | Explicit | 12,930 words

It wasn’t that Louis didn’t want to see Harry’s latest film; it was a tragically pathetic fact that Louis had watched every single show and film, every interview, every red carpet that Harry had done since his ex-boyfriend had decided to leave Uni in the second year and pursue an acting career. It's just that he wanted to watch it on his own, in his flat, with a soft blanket, beer, ice cream, and a large box of tissues.

11) I'll Look After You | Mature | 15,471 words

I mean, when Harry inherited his late uncle's hybrid, he didn't necessarily expect this... Where Louis is a nice hybrid cat who's never lived with anyone but an old man, and who discovers the freedom of living with Harry...

12) I Don’t Want You | Mature | 35,941 words

Louis never wanted to be an omega. He didn’t want to end up like his mother- a submissive omega that married his father in an arranged marriage, and is now living her life as a baby making machine, and a trophy wife who can never voice her opinion- Louis was never the quiet type, he always said exactly what he thought. But life has a funny way of fucking him over and Louis finds himself forced into an arranged marriage with the one and only Harry styles.

13) Hiding Green Smiles | Explicit | 45,227 words

Louis’ heart is racing in his chest. The idea of temporary bonding—letting Harry bite down right on that spot without it being a real bond—makes his mouth go dry. He didn’t even know something like this existed! His mind fills with all the possibilities and questions. What’s it going to feel like? How will it affect his orgasms? How will it affect Harry’s knot? What parts of a bond does it simulate? When Louis goes with Liam to a hidden sex shop, he discovers a new sex toy, the BiteMat, and he can't believe his luck. He loves being bitten, has a biting kink, even, and now he can be bitten over his bonding spot without the fear of anything permanent. He hastily buys it to try with Harry, his friend and roommate, and his regular heat/rut partner for the last eighteen months. They've been friends-with-benefits outside heat or rut for eight months now, and Louis' been desperately in love with Harry for at least five of those months.

14) A Match Into Water | Not Rated | 68,756 words

“So, who’s the guy?” Louis startled at the question, immediately locking his phone and dropping it onto the beanbag cushion below him. This was a topic he desperately wanted to avoid with his friends, but it was bound to happen sooner or later. That didn’t mean he would try to avoid it though. “What guy?” He rushed out, looking at Liza with a dumbfounded expression, trying his best to avoid Niall and Jeremy clearly sharing a knowing look. “You’ve been on your phone nonstop, you’re never on your phone while working. Not to mention, you’re smiling at your phone like a nutter,” Niall pipes up, grinning at him facetiously.

15) I Would Rather Go Blind | Mature | 79,150 words

"What are you doing here, Harry?" Louis asked with confidence, his gaze briefly flickering to Harry's plump lips, a momentary hint of desire flickering in his eyes. "I…" Harry's voice caught in his throat as Louis' gaze travelled downward, coming to rest on his chest. Without hesitation, Louis raised his hands from the desk, bringing them to Harry's chest, helping him button the one he had missed. When he attempted to pull away, Harry's hand shot out and gripped at his wrist. "You're shaking," Louis observed, his eyes shifting to their joined hands before returning to meet Harry's gaze, unwavering. "It's…" Harry cleared his throat. "It's you. You make me… I don't know what is happening to me." "What do you feel?" he whispered, his voice barely audible. "It's… warm," he began, shyly bringing Louis' hand against the centre of his chest over his shirt. "Here." His hand slid down to his stomach, their eyes locked in a powerful gaze. "And here." They remained silent for a moment, both captivated by the intensity of their connection. "Every time you're near me."

16) As Sweet As You Are | Mature | 87,394 words

Note: This fic was deleted and has now been reuploaded.

"Do you not have something more expensive?" The alpha gives him a weird look, resting his hands on the table. "Definitely not something the cost of that shade of blue that are your eyes," he responds effortlessly. "Why is a male omega on his own out in the middle of the woods at this time of night?" Harry speaks, staring intensely at the prince, smirk lingering on his face. "Your kind is rather rare. You should be more careful. There are a lot of rogue alphas around that won't blink until they've knotted and bred you up." The blue eyed omega swallows, shuffling in his seat awkwardly and looking anywhere but the alpha before him. "I ran away from home," Louis admits, occupying himself by taking a sip of the lager instead of thinking about the fact that the alpha hasn't yet taken his eyes off him. "My parents want me to marry someone I do not want to marry, so I ran."

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[pippin-katz]

Okay I noticed something during the Red Room scene after watching RWRB for the "who knows how many"-th time.

When they hit the wall, Alex puts his right hand on it:

But then they cut and it’s not there anymore:

Now, I’m not pointing this out as an "oh look an editing error" or anything because that’s something that happens in pretty much every movie ever made. Somebody’s hand or leg is in one position, they cut to another angle, and it’s in a slightly different position. It’s what happens when you’re editing together several different takes of the same scene.

Hell, quick and fun tangent, feel free to skip ahead to where the text changes back to the normal color, but there’s a sequence in Clue, the movie, where Wadsworth, the butler, is retelling the events of the evening in very specific detail and reenacting it. This is a fantastic example of a moment where a very attentive viewer can see into the behind the scenes, and remember that when filming movies, they always do multiple takes of a scene, even if nothing went wrong; there’s only very unique circumstances where they film a scene and the entirety of the very first take is used.

Earlier, Mrs. Peacock freaks out because they think there might have been poison in the drink, and Mr. Green slaps her in the throat to stop her from screaming:

GIF from here.

After he hits her, he says this:

GIF from here.

When Wadsworth reenacts it later, he says the same line:

GIF from here.

Notice that he’s accurately in character as Mr. Green, but he makes the gesture to push his “glasses” back up, which Mr. Green didn’t do. Tim Curry went through great lengths for this very long sequence to get all the little details right. The only reason he would do that would be if he did push his glasses up, but it was in a different take. That take wasn’t used in the final cut of film, but they had to have filmed a version of the scene where Mr. Green pushed his glasses back up, and Tim Curry copied it because he wouldn’t have been able to predict which version of the scene they would use, and that’s a specific detail he wouldn’t want to miss if they used that take.

In the easiest and perfect scenario, they pick the best take of each shot and splice them together, but sometimes they use multiple takes of one of the shots and use different pieces of them. Maybe the delivery of one line was better in one take, but another line was better in the other. If there's going to be a cut between those lines, they can cut out the line delivery they liked the best and splice into whatever take they're using the most of.

This is common knowledge, but I'm covering it just in case someone is completely unfamiliar with how films are made.

When the camera angle changes during a sequence, it doesn’t mean that they filmed up until that point, stopped and repositioned the cameras and the actors, and then continued. They set up a camera for one of the shots, they run through the scene start-to-finish, and once they have several good takes to choose from, they move the camera position to the next angle, and shoot the scene start-to-finish again. Sometimes they can knock out more than one angle at once if the cameras won’t get each other in the shot.

For example, scenes like Alex and Henry talking on the couch, in the cafe, on the phone on the bed, basically almost any scene where they’re looking directly at each other, has to be shot from at least two angles separately, at least if they want to show us both of their faces throughout the scene. If they filmed both of them at once, you would see the other camera in the background behind the actors.

In the case of the kissing in the Red Room, there's three cuts, until the end when Amy walks in. I'm talking specifically about from Alex grabbing him up to the shot right before Amy walks in.

So starting there, we have the first shot:

Then the first cut:

Then the second cut:

Then the third cut:

Then Amy walks in:

Now, cameras do move and/or zoom during most shots, even if it's a barely noticeable. For example, there is no cut while Alex crosses the room; the camera moves with him. It also rotates/pans a bit once they start backing towards the wall to keep that shot connected up until the first cut.

Based on the angle, the framing, and their positions, I'm pretty sure these two are from the same shot/camera position, possibly the same take, with the close-up spliced in:

Even if they aren't from the same take, I'm fairly sure, like I said before, that they ran through the scene start-to-finish with this camera blocking, and that these are both from that blocking, even if the second one seems slightly different. It's really hard to be 100% sure, but when I watch them side-by-side, their positions seem to line up. If you map out their starting point and ending point, and the gap of time where the close-up is, it feels like enough time and movement for them to get from A to B in one shot had the camera not cut.

But the camera does cut, which leads me back to here:

The camera angle alone is a big indicator that they cut together multiple takes. I can't be positive, but I'm pretty sure that they couldn't have filmed this angle at the same time as the main shot.

I think about these sorts of things while watching movies; it's something I can't turn off in my brain. I'm hyperaware of the cinematography. I notice it, and thoughts/questions just bounce around in the back of my head.

Like if I was watching this for the first time, excluding all the internal screaming that would've been occurring, I would have probably thought: "Oh hey, that was a big camera change! They probably filmed this separately!"

But it's so brief and subconscious that I would've had the thought without those words actually forming in my head, does that make sense? It's like there's a little version of me chilling in my brain with a clipboard that writes interesting things down while the rest of me is screaming. He's just chilling, taking notes, and I can feel when he writes something down, even if I can't process it in the moment. Does that make any sense?? Whatever, it doesn't actually matter lmfao

What I'm saying is, while the camera change suggests the use of multiple takes being edited together, Alex's hand on the wall 100% confirms it, since it's not in the same position when they cut between the angles.

Which FINALLY brings me to my POINT!

Everything I went over essentially just proves that this shot:

-is from it's own, separate take than the other shots.

And as I explained, they typically run a scene start-to-finish several times from each angle, which is why there's this variation. With choreography like this that's meant to be spontaneous and aggressive is impossible to perfectly recreate each time. It happens too fast, and their characters are so wrapped up in the moment that they're just grabbing and touching each other however they can, so there is going to be variation between the takes in what they do with their hands or exactly how they kiss.

WHICH MEANS

It is very possible that there's a version/take of this sequence of events from the other angle where Alex's hand is on the wall, and he is half pinning Henry against the wall for this interaction.

His hand is in the classic "hands on either side of their partner's head while kissing against a wall" position that basically traps them against the wall and the person they're with.

So there's possibly a version of this shot:

-with Alex's hand pinning Henry against the fucking wall, before he lifts him onto the table.

And I want to fucking see it.

[stevethehairington]

Eddie has learned how to read Steve's moods, to pick up on his tells. To know if today is going to be a good day or a bad day, and what flavor of insecurity will be flaring up the worst for him.

The days when Steve is feeling down about his scars and the permanent damage to his body, he doesn't like to be touched. And even though Eddie would love nothing more than to do exactly that, to brush his fingers softly over the mottled skin, to leave a gentle kiss over every single patch, to feel Steve living and breathing beneath his touch, he keeps his hands to himself and uses his words isntead.

Some days he has to be careful with those too — he'll remind Steve how beautiful he is. Tell him that he loves his scars because they mean that he survived. Wax poetry about how they match, how that must mean they're destined for one another. That they're a pair now, a matching set.

Other days he can get a little more creative with it —he'll swoon against the kitchen counter while Steve's pouring himself a glass of juice and fan his hand in front of himself and ask Steve, "Is it hot in here or is it just you?". Or he'll call Steve the most gorgeous man to grace the earth, scars and road rash and tail burn and all. Sometimes he'll ask Steve when his next action film is set to hit theaters, because he looks like the ruggedly handsome hunk that belongs front and center on the poster.

When the pendulum swings the other way and Steve gets too in his head about his personality flaws, he gets quieter. He'll try to isolate himself more, and if he does have to be around people, he won't add much to the conversation — out of fear of saying the wrong thing, fear of letting his bitchiness creep too far back into the Certified Asshole territory he's worked so hard to leave behind, fear of looking and sounding even stupider than he feels.

Those days Eddie eases back on the compliments towards Steve's looks and praises him for the less superficial things instead. Like when Steve does participate in conversations, Eddie always makes sure to be extra attentive to what he's saying and to acknowledge it too. He'll laugh at all of Steve's jokes and call him funny (even if the jokes aren't funny, but let's face it, they're all funny, because they're from Steve. And even if the jokes are technically bad, they're just so damn endearing coming from him, Eddie can't help but laugh anyways. Plus, like, Eddie does genuinely think Steve is a funny guy; he's got some good snarky comebacks and a whooole bunch of dorky dad jokes and they always hit, especially when Steve that cute, crooked grin curves onto his face after he delivers them, like he's just so damn pleased with himself for saying something so goofy).

Eddie will find ways to remind Steve of things he's done that showcase how smart he is, how thoughtful he is, how kind he is. Like he'll bring up how Steve has all of the kids' schedules memorized, doesn't even need to write it down or anything, and still manages to never miss an activity or a pick up. And he'll ask Steve if he's going to help Lucas practice before basketball tryouts again this year because he's got so much knowledge about the sport from when he played, and he's so good at it, and Lucas really looks up to him for that. Or Eddie will purposefully ask Steve questions that let him flex those muscles too, like, "Hey, Steve, what's Dustin's favorite color again? I'm painting this mini fig for his character and I wanna make the shield that color, but I can't remember if he likes red or blue more." That's wrong, the answer is actually green — Eddie knows this. But he also knows that Steve knows this. And he likes the way Steve perks up when he gets asked these kinds of things. Things he knows the answers for. Things he barely even has to think about, the answers just come so naturally to him. The hundreds of tiny, seemingly insignificant little details that are actually so ridiculously important because they highlight just how much Steve pays attention. Just how much he cares.

The compliments and the praise don't solve the problem completely; the insecurities are rooted deep. Eddie gets that, though. He has a lot of the same ones, and Steve is just as good at helping him when he gets in his head too. But they help. He knows from experience that they help. Because each time he starts to believe them a little more and his twisted brain a little less.

So he does what he can to help Steve believe them a little more too.

[cwbylikeyou]

Hey can I get some johnny cage x fem reader angst where Johnny cheats on reader with sonya :(

Cardigan.

hi! thank you so much for the request. i'm not sure if i'm really good at writing something so emotional, but i tried my best.

tw: cheating.

GIF BY SOLIDSMAX ON TUMBLR.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!! also, for those who might be interested, i'm writing a multi chapter story in portuguese and i'm wondering if i should translate to english and post it here. can give yall some details later...

enjoy, beijos!

You knew.

It was obvious, undeniable. The inappropriate whispers, the quick glances full of malicious intent, two glasses of wine in the living room when he was supposed to be alone at the house you both shared. Nobody could ever close their eyes to something so painful, not even you, with all the love you had for him.

Johnny Cage always had wandering eyes, something you used to find funny. The mischievous, flirty jokes that attracted you remained there, but it was a matter of time for the target to be someone else. But John Carlton seemed different than Johnny, the cinema icon. John looked at you with sweet eyes, something that only existed for you, on that you could be sure. It was all yours. Until it wasn’t.

For some time you asked yourself why. But there wasn’t an answer. You accommodated him, made room for him in your life, saw him fail in directing all those films, watched the fights he won and took care of him in the ones he didn’t. You were not the reason. The reason didn’t exist. But you had to ask.

“Why?” You asked, the silence so uncomfortable you almost could touch it, in the bedroom that used to be yours. He didn’t answered. “Is it because she is a lieutenant? You liked the adrenaline?”

One last piece of clothing was put in your bag, a cardigan he had gave you long ago. He remained in silence, in front of the door, almost blocking it. You wanted a reaction, cries of apology, screams and pleads for you not to leave: there’s nothing. It is impressive that Cage is not speaking up.

"I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs, knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired"

He finally says something: your name. Eyes down, full of tears that don’t fall, an ocean blue stuck at his chest.

“And you can’t even say you’re sorry”

“I am.”

You had showed him all of your scars, he had kissed all of them, drawing constellations of stars in your skin and your heart. Now, he was becoming another one. One that would hurt do leave and take longer to heal.

“You don’t need to stay. Just say you forgive me.”

Even in this moment, he was still Johnny Cage. The one that wanted to feel good about himself. No mistakes, he wanted to be perfect.

“It’s too soon for that, John. You need the green light of forgiveness? Can’t give you that right now."

You close your bag. It’s done. On your way out, you ask yourself if tou can forgive him one day. But today, you only want to forget.

[ironstrange1991]

Movie Night

Paring: Defender!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Stephen's work on a Friday night leaves you upset, but choosing the right movie can change everything and save the night.

Word Count: 3,1k

Warnings: Small argument and provocation. SMUT: Fingering, umprotected p in v sex, creampie.

A/N: It took me two months to finish this fic and this shows how hard authors block had hit me, but I'm happy to finally have something to post. Hope you guys like it and have a nice reading :)

Movie nights are sacred to you and Stephen knows this very well, yet there he was locked in the meeting room with the Defenders ironing out the final details for the next mission. You shouldn't be mad about the situation because this time Stephen wouldn't participate, on the contrary, he would take the next few days to slow down and spend some time with you. So, it was acceptable for him to waste a few minutes of your Friday night since you’ll have a lot of time to spend together, but it wasn't any less annoying and tonight you didn't want to be understanding. Not at all.

When he finally left the meeting room, you were sitting crisscrossed on the couch, TV control in hand, choosing something to watch alone. You didn't bother to say hi or good night to his friends and they didn't even dare say anything to you because they knew you were mad.

As if that wasn't enough, Stephen still stood for ten minutes talking by the door until finally the Defenders left and he returned to the living room.

"You might as well invite them to live here with you." You snorted. Irritation appearing in the way you distilled each word. "I mean, since they're here all the fucking time and you're always willing to devote all your damn time to them, it would be so much easier and more practical if they didn't even have to leave, wouldn't it?"

Stephen didn't respond, he knew better than to talk back to you when you were angry.

Instead, he walked up behind the couch and wrapped his arms around your shoulders and buried his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply and placing a small kiss on your skin. You felt your entire body tingling with the sensation, but you didn't show any reaction.

"I'm going to take a shower, do you want to come with me?" He asked in your ear, completely ignoring your attempt to start a fight and making a point of rubbing his beard on your neck in an attempt to disarm you.

"In case you haven't noticed, I've already taken a shower, Stephen. I've also had dinner, alone by the way, but you could have called your friends to accompany you. You missed a great opportunity."

He sighed, clearly frustrated, but walked away without saying anything. You knew you were being childish, you knew very well that Stephen did as much as he could to spend more time with you, but sometimes you wanted to ignore everything you knew and focus on the fact that he spent more time with his friends than with you.

You took a long time to choose what to watch and when Stephen came back you were lying on the couch, covered by a fluffy blanket. The night was particularly cold even with the heater on. The first few minutes of the film you had finally chosen were playing on the TV.

"Did you really start without me?" He complained, patting your leg so you would give him a seat.

To be honest, you didn't think he would come down to watch the movie with you after the way you spoke to him, but Defender hated arguments and would do anything to make sure you didn't get into arguments. However, you didn't want to give in.

"Don't make me start, Stephen." You said moving forward and giving him space to lie down behind you. Even though he knew you were angry, he made a point of placing his arm so you could rest your head and wrapped the other around your waist, pulling you as close to him as possible. He was always so comfortably warm and the delicious smell of his conditioner managed to soften you - just a little - so you explained.

"The movie just started, you didn't miss anything."

He hummed giving you a small kiss on the shoulder "What is it about?"

You shrugged "It's a thriller. It's called Killing me softly. I chose it by the name actually."

"Um" He said snuggling and cupping your hand with his, intertwining his fingers with yours. "I'm not going anywhere in the morning, okay? I'll be all yours."

You sighed but didn't respond, choosing to pay attention to the scenes in front of you that were quickly becoming interesting. Really interesting.

The protagonist had met a stranger on the street - of course the stranger was sexy and mysterious - and had the brilliant idea of ​​going to his house and the scene quickly escalated into a sex scene like those that you would be embarrassed to death if you were watching with your parents, but as you were watching with your husband, the situation was very different.

You've never been one to watch porn, contrary to what should happen, the explicit sex and the constant fake moaning on screen used to be a turn off for you, but the subtlety of sex scenes in Hollywood films used to work much better and you already could feel your body reacting to the images in front of you and the fact that you were cuddling with your man who happened to be so warm and smelling so good and that was definitely sexier than the actor in the movie didn't help much.

The scene ended and then another began and soon after another, and you were surprised by your husband's baritone voice in your ear.

"I think I like this movie." He said, pressing a very obvious erection against your ass and you felt your face blush, but you didn't have time to react because he started to place kisses on your neck, brushing his beard against your skin and his hand let go of yours to sneak inside your blouse and feel your breasts while he pressed his hard on against you again.

By now you weren't exactly paying attention to the movie in front of you, your body was responding to him in all the right ways and the next thing you knew you were pressing your thighs together.

"I thought you were mad at me, but then you chose this movie..." He rasped and bit your earlobe and you felt your entire body tremble.

"I'm mad at you and I didn't know it was this kind of movie." You explained yourself.

He gave you several kisses on your neck and then licked your ear, biting it again and started to grind his erection on your ass without any shame.

"Hm, I guess I'll need to do something to change that then." He pinched your nipple lightly and then lowered his hand into your pajama shorts, caressing your pussy covered in the fabric of your panties, which at that point was completely wet.

An involuntary moan escaped your lips and you gave in to the desire growing quickly inside you, bucking up your hips against his hand for his delight.

"You're so wet baby, is this because of the movie or because of me?"

You bit your lip when his hand reached inside your panties and his trembling fingers circled your clit.

"It's you." You responded amidst groans.

A succession of dialogue scenes that you weren't paying the slightest attention to gave way to another sex scene and your hand searched for Stephen, reaching inside his sweatpants and delighting in the fact that he wasn't wearing underwear. You grabbed his cock and started pumping it up and down slowly which made him moan right in your ear and your whole body tingled.

The moans coming from the TV got louder and Stephen increased the pace of his fingers on your clit and whispered in your ear.

"Do you like the way he does it?" He asked referring to the character in the film.

"Y-yes."

"Do you want me to fuck you like that?"

You moaned loudly when he finally entered you with his fingers, but you needed so much more than his fingers.

"Yes, please." You finally responded.

"Will this make up for the hours I spent in meetings with my friends?" He teased. "You can't be mad at me anymore."

 You nodded in agreement and closed your eyes, indulging in the pleasure his fingers provided going in and out of you.

Stephen sat down and you turned around, laying on your back, your legs hanging open for him to do whatever he wanted with you.

He took his hands to the waistband of your pajama shorts and panties and pulled them off quickly and discarded them on the floor. He had a smug little smile on his lips that wasn't very common for him, but you were too caught up in the pursuit of your pleasure to care.

He stood up for a second and took off his pants and t-shirt, completely undressing for you and knelt between your legs, touching you again, rubbing your clit in circles with two trembling fingers while pumping his delicious hard cock with his other hand.

"You're so beautiful" You murmured between moans as you grabbed your tits, pinching your own nipples and delighting in the pleasure that his fingers gave you. "It's so unfair"

Stephen chuckled collecting your slick with his fingers and spreading it on his cock which by now was rock hard and pulsing in his hand, he gave a couple of jerks and rubbed his tip on your slit teasing you.

"Baby... please don't tease. N-need you."

"Yeah? But you were so mad at me a few minutes ago. What changed?"

He placed the tip at your entrance, but didn't force it in and held your hips down when you threatened to lift them up.

"Come on baby, tell me."

You bit your bottom lip holding back a moan and admitted "I was only mad because I was jealous. Because you weren't paying attention to me."

He sighed heavily, forcing his cock and letting it stretch you slowly and allowing himself a moan of his own.

"And that's why you were so mean? Saying those things to me. Do you think I deserve to be treated like that?"

You knew very well that he was playing games with you, but you didn't care, you needed him inside you, you would say anything, do anything he wanted you to do.

"I'm sorry, baby, please, need you. I am so fucking horny. Please fuck me... punish me."

That completely disarmed him and you could feel his cock throbbing just from your words and you knew he liked the idea. "I was mean to you and you don't deserve it. You're such a good husband."

Stephen entered you with a hard thrust making you squirm with the delicious stretch. That man was so fucking big.

He held both of your knees to keep your legs spread wide for him and began to move slowly at first, keeping his eyes fixed on where the two of you joined together. "So fucking beautiful." He moaned and you closed your eyes, enjoying the sensation. "Pussy looks so fucking beautiful taking my cock. Promise me you won't get mad at me again because of work. You know I do everything I can to be with you. I love you so much, baby."

You moaned loudly, feeling him go even deeper when he leaned forward laying on top of you, holding his weight with just his forearms. You cupped his face with both hands.

"I promise. I love you so much, Stephen..." You kissed him hard and kept kissing him while begging. "Need you by my side... all the time, need you so much... oh god please... fuck me, punish me, do whatever the fuck you want to me... I just want it so badly."

Stephen rested his hands on the arm of the sofa and began to thrust hard, each thrust harder and faster than the next. You wrapped your arms around him and your nails dug deep into the flesh of his back as you locked your legs around his hips, letting yourself be dominated by him. Your hands went down to his ass, pulling him against you, wanting him to enter you completely. Somehow you knew it would never be enough, you would always want more of him.

Stephen searched for your lips and kissed you again, this time harder, his breathing quickly becoming ragged and you could feel him pulsing inside you.

"Oh my god Stephen... feels so good baby, cock fucking me so good."

He moaned, lowering his lips to your neck and giving small kisses and bites there, his breathing and baritone voice making your whole body tingle.

"And you're taking me so fucking good. You always take it so good. I know you love my cock, tell me how much you love it."

"So much... so so much" You almost purred the words as you tightened your arms around him. "Love you... so much"

He kissed you and you could see him trying hard not to cum yet. He stopped and tapped your thigh for you to unlock your legs around him and pulled out asking gently.

"Turn around baby. Get on your hands and knees for me."

You smiled, quickly obeying him and positioning yourself on all fours for him. Defender didn't usually take control like that, but oh you loved it when he did. In fact, you doubted there was anything your husband could do that you didn't love.

You felt his hands squeezing your waist and positioning your ass the way he wantedyou’re your surprise he kissed one of your cheeks and lightly patted the other. "And you wonder why I love you so much, baby... How could I not love such a sweet, perfect little thing like you?"

You moaned softly at just the words and felt the tip of his cock rubbing against your folds. Teasing you. He positioned it at your entrance and forced it slowly, but not enough to penetrate you the way you needed and you whimpered.

"Tell me what you want, baby. Tell me how much you need me."

"More than anything. I need you more than anything. That's why I was so mad, because I wanted you to pay attention to me."

He entered you with a single strong, deep thrust and he moaned loudly.

"Now I'm all your, baby. Enjoy it. I know you love my cock, take it. It's yours."

You moaned when he started thrusting hard and fast. You were definitely not used to Stephen fucking you like that, but you loved the intensity, the way his body forced itself against you, how little by little he lost himself in his own pleasure, placing more and more of the weight of his body on you. You loved being in control, but it was undeniable that being dominated by him was extremely satisfying.

He used one of his hands to hold your shoulder, putting more force into his thrusts, his moans became increasingly louder and more obscene and you loved the sound of them, you loved having Stephen like that.

"Fuck baby, tell me your close, I can't hold back much longer..."

You could feel his cock throbbing inside you and the knot deep in your belly threatening to break.

"Yes, Stephen, please. I am so close. Fuck me harder. Make me cum."

As if possible, Stephen increased the strength of his thrusts, you were both panting and it didn't take long for the two of you to reach the limit together.

Stephen tightened his grip on your shoulder and waist and forced himself against you, emptying himself. "That's it baby. That's what you wanted so much, right? Take it."

He groaned, totally lost in his own release and your legs shook with the intensity of the thrusts and your insides exploded in an orgasm so strong that your entire body began to shake.

Stephen pulled out and allowed you to turn around and flop onto the couch completely undone. He conjured a cloth and gently cleaned you in silence and then cleaned himself as best he could and disappeared with the dirty cloth and got up to put on his pants. He sat back down and you ran to snuggle into his lap. He wrapped the blanket around your naked body and then stared at the TV for a minute and let out a soft chuckle.

"The movie is over." He said "I can't say whether I liked it or not because frankly I didn't pay attention to it for a second."

You chuckled wrapping your arms around his waist and snuggling further into the warmth of his chest.

"I chose this movie on purpose." You confessed. "I thought I could make you feel like it and say no, but I'm not strong enough."

He took his hand to your hair and began to gently caress it. "I'm sorry for irritating you. I know how patient you are with my work and for you to be so angry with me I must have crossed a line."

You didn't respond, but a heavy sigh escaped your nostrils and he took it as confirmation of his words.

"We'll have some time for both of us now and I promise I'll try to slow down a little."

You lifted your head to look at him. There was a look of genuine concern on his face and you could leave him like that, but again, you weren't that strong.

"I'm not mad at you anymore, Steph."

He raised an eyebrow, slightly surprised. "No?"

"I should be because you really crossed the line today, but it's hard to stay mad at you when you're the best husband in the world."

A smile played on his lips upon hearing that. "That's always wonderful to hear, you know?"

You caressed his face lightly "It's true. I really don't think there is a better man than you in this world. Even though sometimes you make me angry."

He let out a small laugh "Good to know."

You thought for a moment before making a second confession.

"I liked the way you made love to me tonight." Your face felt completely hot as soon as the words left your mouth.

He caressed her cheeks "And how was that?"

"You know...hard."

He nodded "I always make love hard to you, baby."

"Not like that. It was harder tonight. I liked it. I like it when you take control."

He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck "I like it too. I keep it well hidden, but there is a part of me that is extremely controlling, baby."

You smirked, "It's not that hidden."

You smiled, watching him use magic to turn off the TV and standing up, keeping you in his lap. Your legs automatically wrapped around his hips. He opened a portal to your shared bedroom.

"Let's go to bed." He said placing a kiss on your forehead.

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