#I find lotr to be good also because it’s like… a little heavy. You can read a chapter and then sit with it for a little while

[jorvikzelda]

I started reading Lord of the Rings (bought Fellowship of the Ring like… last spring but never got around to starting) and I’d just like to say. Holy fuck what a slow book. You mean to tell me I’m over a hundred pages in and this man is only just leaving the Shire? Sign me up for MORE I love this shit. Tolkien said “I will take exactly as much time as I want to describe things and you will like it”. AND I DO

[kcrossvine-art]

hi friends! :D y'all voted and fought neck and neck for this SO- heres the first entry into our little cooking journey of J. R. R. Tolkeins fictional food for his fictional little guys he puts in fictional turmoils for our enjoyment and awe!

 Before we get started i wanna say i owe my heart to all the LotR fans who upkeep the wiki, debate the cannon, and create their own versions of the foods mentioned. Both because of my love for people who LOVE (passionate people)(passion about anything) and because my own knowledge of this series is a little dusty. I've never seen the movies but I did read the books growing up. I'll be learning and remembering things from a fairly newbie standpoint, so no worries if you yourself arent familiar with the series! (and if you are familiar, hopefully youll forgive me!)

We will be making Lembas ('waybread') today! If you've made your own version of this please feel free to share it, similarly if you have any ideas for what we make next!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to Lembas?” YOU MIGHT ASKWell so the funny thing is we kinda dont know. At least not entirely? The elves are dicks like that. But heres what we'll be using in ours-

Butter

Self-rising flour

Granulated Sugar

Raisins

A small dried fruit of your choosing

Almonds OR Pecans

EGG

Whole Milk

Heavy Cream

And if you would like for dipping-

Blackberry jam

To the extent i understand this is kinda like hardtack from the bri'ish military, but a fantastical version of it that actually tastes really good. Hardtack was a military provision with the texture of a brick that took a long time to spoil and could be easily carried with soldiers. So the texture we're going for is super dense, packed full with nuts and fruits (haha just lik-), but perhaps not that dense. We want something closer to a dog biscuit than actual tack.

I remembered something about corn being mentioned, thankfully the wiki clarified that no actually the british just referred to any grain as corn back in the day. Thank Fuck! Although I would like to try a version of this using masa in the future.

AND, “what does Lembas taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

Took a few tries but eventually got it perfectly chewy and dense

The raisins cook-in like little beads of flavortown sweetness

Cant speak for other fruits but for dried apple it softened up nicely, kinda matching the raisins in the end

Im a big pecan slut, pecans fuck on anything especially here. Crumble them on top after you coat the dough with the egg-mixture for some visual appeal

Somewhat flakey outside

The jam was my idea, it was nice but might be too sweet for some tastes

Would pair very well with a kiwi flavored drink

Or mead

I can see why this would a travelling provision. Its both sugary (a good thing when expending energy) and filling (also a good thing when youre travelling) while not being overwhelming with flavor (if youre prone to motion sickness. Horse sickness? Do get motion sickness on horses?)

Its like how if you're going hiking you want a good mix of sugars and salts, to balance your intake of water.

. If you wanna make it like the illustrations or the movie, use a cookie cutter for either triangles or squares . If you don't have a cookie cutter, an apple cutter also works ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . try to keep the board you'll roll the dough out onto chilled before you use it, it seems better for the texture of the food though i dont entirely know why

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So from beginning to end, it took about an hour and half for the first attempt. Down to about 40 minutes for the second attempt. These are a real simple recipe because its not like a croissant where the margin for error is nonexistent. Middle-earth be damned my boy can work a grill.

I'd recommend storing in a tubberware container, but if you're deadset on using leaves please rinse and dry them first, and wrap the bread in either wax paper or saran wrap underneath. We dont have mallorn leaves in real life (as far as we know) but most salad greens should work, or as Marie Porter says (linked in the reblogs!) a banana leaf.

I really enjoyed the process of making this recipe, itd be really easy to batch-bake these en masse, and the process of eating said recipe. Like all jokes aside, i think this would be a great substitute for trailmix. Its not going to get smushed and even if it breaks a bit it wont affect the taste. It wont keep you fed for a whole day but pair it with some pickles or a salty snack and yeah itll keep your motor running.

I give this recipe a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Let me know if you think I got something wrong, or if you ran into issues with the recipe. We're off to a strong start, lads!

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

6 TBSP butter, chilled

2 cups self-rising flour

1 TBSP granulated sugar

½ cup raisins

½ other dried fruit (strawberry slices, oranges, etc.), chopped

Handful of almonds or pecans, chopped

1 egg, well beaten

½ cup whole milk

4 TBSP heavy cream

Method:

Preheat your oven to 400 f.

Cut the butter into slivers/small pieces. With your hands, combine the butter into the flour in a mixing bowl until the mixture resembles coarse sand.

Chop your dried nuts and dried fruit until it feels right.

Mix in the sugar, raisins, nut, and dried fruit of your choosing

In a seperate bowl, beat the egg until combined, and then mix in the milk until combined. Keep a bit of this mixture to brush the tops of the bread.

Stir while adding the egg/milk mixture and the heavy cream into the flour. Mix just until combined into a soft dough.

Knead the dough until firm on a floured surface.

Roll into a half inch thickness and cut with a square or leaf shaped cookie cutter. (...or in my case, an apple corer).

Place on a lightly greased baking sheet, with about an inch of space between each piece. Brush the tops of the lembas with some of the mixture you saved earlier.

Bake for about 15-20 minutes, or until it turns a soft gold and the inside is chewy.

[somnambulic-thing]

page 622 read on ao3

Eddie Munson x afab!reader E +18

summary: It's the middle of the night and you just can't find sleep. Eddie wants to help. He wants to help so bad.

Words: 3k

||reader has insomnia, smut, fluff, pinch of angst, LOTR references, domestic, nerds in love||

A/N: This is for all of us who haunt the nights. <3

Page 622 is graced with not one, but two dog ears.

That’s nothing unusual for the thick heavy paperback in your hands. A copy of The Lord of the Rings, all three parts united in one book and littered with battle scars like a gnarly old Orc of Mordor.

It belongs to both of you, bought on that whimsical fleamarket by the side of the road with spare change collected from the nooks and crannies of the van. It hadn’t mattered that you already owned a box set each, it had been clear that this book wanted to go home with you. Once integrated into your shared collection, it became the copy that was pulled out when Eddie and you had an argument about the most minuscule details to settle. It wasn’t a rare occasion that someone got tackled before they could claim victory over the matter. That brave book had been ripped from victorious hands more times than you could count and flung over shoulders, into corners or behind furniture.

It was also the copy Eddie used to ponder ideas. When he was writing a campaign and the atmosphere he was eager to create didn’t feel quite right, he would go down into the Mines of Moria or deep into the thicket of Fangorn forest and seek inspiration between the lines. There he left marks with the heavy tip of his pencil, elbows catching on the edges of pages as he reached for his notebook, creating new dogears, sometimes small tears.

You loved those marks and never grew tired of discovering fresh traces of his adventures. They kept you company on those days you wouldn’t get tired at all.

The world between the worn covers was familiar, the motions of the adventures committed to memory in many places, the adventurers friends that comforted you on restless nights.

You chose this copy over the others you own because it’s an intimate object, because you could trust it to catch you should you fall asleep on its pages, trust it to be more beautiful in the morning with more kinks and wrinkles.

But there were days when even the unhastiness of Treebeard wouldn’t do the trick to coax you into slumber. Today was such a day; stuck on the sofa on a dark, restless sea and no sleep in sight.

You hadn’t heard him coming.

“Just flopped around the mattress like a fish out of water looking for you.”

Eddie’s voice is deep and raspy and a little cranky around the edges. Your eyes shift from page 622 to where he stands in the doorframe, all tousled hair and sleepy eyes. There are lines on his right cheek, a shallow relief in the mirror image of his pillowcase. His boxers sit dangerously low on his hips and it tickles in your fingertips to follow the trail of soft hair and tuck them further down.

“That’s an amusing image,” you say with a smile as Eddie rubs one eye with his flat hand, nose scrunched up and wrinkly. “Can you demonstrate that to me?”

“Do not mock me. I awoke all cold and lonely…” he waves the other hand through the air. “Forsaken by my love.”

“I’m sorry,” you say, the mirth in your tone slipping just slightly, but Eddie catches it.

“How long have you been up?” he asks, banter put aside in exchange for worry and makes his way over to the nest of blankets and pillows you’d made on the sofa.

You frown, not sure you know the answer to that question, feeling like you’ve fallen out of the stream of time; trapped in endless night, doomed to read the same three sentences on page 622 again and again with nothing but your thoughts for company. Until now.

You turn to check the thin green digital numbers on the VHS recorder while Eddie lowers himself to the ground in front of you. “Almost two hours.”

“That’s no good,” he says softly and fumbles with the blanket draped over your legs in search of your skin, nudging the book off balance. It slides down your lap with a soft rustle. Dark, heavy eyes search your face for clues he knows you’re reluctant to give him and a warm palm finds your thigh moments later, an epicentre for violent goosebumps. You shiver and he smiles. “What can I do?”

“Nothing—“

“You underestimate my relaxing properties.” He places a kiss on your knee. “It’s pretty annoying, actually.”

You shake your head. “Don’t want to keep you up—“

“Want me to take over the reading? You just rest and listen—” He lowers his voice to a soft rumble. “—let me hypnotize you.”

“You really don’t have to—“

“Shhh… would you please just let me help?” Without waiting for an answer, Eddie slides the blanket off your thigh and covers it in soft, slow kisses.

“Can’t—“ kiss “go—“ kiss “back to sleep—“ kiss kiss “knowing—“ kiss “you’re out here alone. Suffering.”

His hair is soft between your fingers. You loosen a few small knots while you rake your nails over his scalp.

“Eddie… I…”

It’s exhausting being a ghost, to haunt the wee hours of the night unable to find rest. It was also lonely. There was a hazy barrier isolating you from the people around you. From the man whose company you craved so much but struggled to accept in this circle of hell.

Eddie has had his fair share of sleepless nights, had done plenty of haunting himself; but not like this, not without a trackable cause that offered some degree of sense. And you’d never wish this on him no matter how lonely you get, but sometimes, you find yourself envying him for the way he just falls asleep on any surface most days and with the envy, there comes resentment. The disconnect between resentment and longing a rope binding your hands behind your back, keeping you from reaching out.

Dark eyes are staring holes into your body as Eddie is waiting for you to continue, to give him something.

“You what, sweetheart?” He’s rubbing circles into your skin. “You want me to leave? Like, actually?”

“I don’t want to take my mood out on you…”

“Why not?” he grins. “We could make it fun. Tire you out, air out some of that—“ his hands leave your legs to gesture wildly through the air. The cold creeping in where his warm palms had just rested feels unbearably cruel. You don’t want him to leave. “— some of that pent-up… whatever it is.”

“Okay.”

Eddie’s brows vanish under tousled bangs. “Okay? Shit, I had this whole speech planned about how we’re a team and that you’re being so stubborn is a waste of time—”

“You complaining?”

“No… no…” he smiles and runs his hands up your thighs. “So, you wanna be a little… mean to me?”

“No,” you breathe out. “Don’t want that.”

He hums and nods, leans down and licks your skin; from your knee right up to the hem of your shorts. It’s the slightest touch, just the tip of his tongue, but the sensation sinks into your body like warm summer rain falling onto dry and dusty ground.

“Let me love you,” he mumbles against your thigh, running the tip of his nose along the border of fabric you hide behind. “I hate it when you feel lonely while I’m right here and fucking crazy about you…”

“You’re right here,” you repeat like in a trance. Eddie looks up at you, so soft and wild at the same time and so sincere and you feel the last layer of resistance melt as if it had never existed.

“Right fucking here.”

“Fuck me.”

Warm gentle hands begin to free your legs from the tangle of blankets and you marvel at how much of Eddie’s essence resides in his touch; soft but rough around the edges where his fingertips have put on tough skin over the years. There’s so much love, so much passion lingering in those points where you end and he begins.

Accompanied by the soft rustling of fabric, Eddie runs those storytelling hands up and down your thighs, from the inside to the outside and up to the round of your ass where he ever so slightly puts his nails against your skin and runs them down down down to the back of your knees where he holds on and pulls you further down the cushion. You yelp a little and then you both laugh a little and you lift your hips to aid him rid you of your shorts and underwear.

“M’ gonna try a thing,” he says and spreads your legs just wide enough to fit in between.

“Try w-what?” you ask around a hitching breath as you watch Eddie slide two fingers into his mouth. They glisten with spit when he pulls them out and you can hear a few drops hit the floor as he lowers himself down.

“You know how I sometimes take ice-cold showers to shock spiralling thoughts out of my mind?”

“I… what? AH!”

One long finger enters you swiftly, moves in-out-in-out and is joined by the other. Heat expands like a shockwave through your pelvis as all the blood rushes to greet the pads of Eddie’s fingers. He moves with precision in quick pulsing motions against that soft erogenous spot deep inside you, watching you closely.

“Good?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Not too much?”

“No,” you grit out as your hips start to twitch.

There is no smug little smile, no told-you-so grin, only deep concentration and a bright red blush high on his cheeks and you desperately wish he’d kiss you. That thought is gone and forgotten as that penetrating pulse quickens, deepens and Eddie’s mouth inches closer and closer to your clit. There’s a sharp tingling in your cunt, not quite a sting, not quite pain and it’s hot and delicious and as it spreads out into every corner of your body, the world gets smaller and smaller, shrinks countless miles each second until this sofa is the only place left in the universe.

“Holy shit, holy shit, those noises, sweetheart.”

You can’t hear a thing over the rush in your ears and as Eddie’s lips close around your confused, prickling clit, your eyes roll up and close.

And for an infinite moment, there’s nothing left but ecstasy.

When time starts up again, you’re re-entering the world shaking and gasping. Eddie is quick on his knees. One hand closing around your wrist and the other pressed into your back he pulls you into an embrace that you collapse into like a dying star.

“I love you I love you I love you…” he whispers into your hair and holds you holds you holds you until you feel solid again. “You good?”

You nod and hum.

Hands find your face and guide you up and you remember how badly you need a kiss when Eddie’s lips form pretty words so close to yours. “Now, let me take you to bed and—“ You interrupt him, pressing your mouth to his with desperate, sloppy urgency. He chuckles softly, catching your lower lip with his teeth for a gentle tug before he pulls away.

“Come on,” he kisses the corner of your mouth. “Really wanna continue this.”

“Can’t move… you broke me.”

“Oh, well, pretty sure you broke my fingers with your pussy so we’re even. Get up.”

You laugh and reach for the hand cupping your left cheek; you kiss the palm, run your tongue along his fingers and kiss the tips. “Better?”

Eddie’s brows shoot up and he takes a sharp breath. “Bedroom!”

He scrambles to his feet and pulls you with him. In motion like that, you can feel drowsiness settling in, slowly taking hold of your muscles. Your legs still feel shaky, almost heavy, and Eddie wraps an arm around your waist for the moment it takes you to steady yourself.

“Looks like it’s working,” he says softly.

“Feels like it, too.”

Finally, there is the smug smile you have been waiting for. “And it took me less than two minutes. ”

“You… checked the time?”

“For science,” he says proudly and the smile turns into a grin.

“Ah, science. Alright, Doc,” you reach down, hook a finger into the waistband of his boxers and let it snap. “I’m ready for the next experiment.”

Eddie tilts his head, narrows his sleepy eyes and hums. You can hear the cogs in his mind take up speed and then he sidesteps you and begins to rummage through the mess of blankets and pillows on the sofa.

“What are you doing?”

“Just a sec, you gave me an idea— ha!” He whirls around and shoves The Lord Of The Rings into your hands. Your reaction is tardy and you feel the cover catch on your thumb and bend in a way that probably leaves a crease but you have not time to check because Eddie is quickly maneuvring you to the bedroom.

He sits you down on the bed and swiftly pulls your shirt over your head and you have no choice but to let go of the book. It drops somewhere on the mattress and out of your mind when Eddie flicks on the bedside lamp and strips out of his boxers.

“Never gets old”, you marvel at the sight of him, pale and lean but soft and the smile you just conjured with those words seems nothing short of diabolical with the way the light catches his features from below.

You recede onto the mattress and he follows you like you’re magnetic, crawling after you until he’s back between your legs, kissing his way up your body, taking his time to caress your breasts with his hands and lips. Only when you yawn he stops and comes up to face you, to kiss you and you drink in the sigh of relief that he places inside your mouth as he slides his hard cock against your folds, you hold on to goosebump-covered shoulders as he pushes inside you.

“Never gets old,” he moans as he rolls his hips against you in deep, slow thrusts and kisses your nose when you have to giggle.

You’re not chasing ecstasy now, but wholeness, you’re not searching for a high, but for refuge. All your thoughts slow down while Eddie occupies all your senses.

“How do you feel?” he asks into the soft spot below your ear.

“Good… Sleepy.”

“M’ not saying I told you so—“

A chuckle tickles your skin and suddenly, a bolt of guilt and fear flashes through you. “But we can’t do this every time—“

“Hey!” He lifts his head to look at you, presses a finger to your lips. “Shhh… Don’t go there,” he says and puts his forehead to yours. “Come back… come back to me. I got you.”

“I’m here.”

“You just have to let me in…” He kisses you like he’s sacred you could vanish from beneath him and you swear you can feel his heartbeat reach out for yours, swear you can feel it pound against your chest like it’s begging for entry.

“M’ sorry,” you whisper and sling your arms around his shoulders. “I’m trying.”

And then he moves, slowly pulling his cock from inside you—

“Eddie?”

and stretches long across the bed to grab the book right off the edge.

“On your side,” he instructs and manhandles you into position before you can comply on your own and slides back into your cunt before you can process what’s happening.

“Fuck… oh fuck…” you moan as quick deep thrusts hit just the right spot over and over. You can hear the rustling of pages behind you and Eddie’s chest retreats from your back. “W-what are y- ah you…?”

‘It was not much more than a tall man’s height now…’  he reads the first line from page 622. You try to turn to look at him but he pushes you back. “Nu-uh, relax. M’ going to read to you and I’m going to fuck you till you pass out and maybe then you’ll think of waking me sooner the next time you pick up this book in the dead of night.”

You moan and laugh and there are tears in the corner of your eyes. “You trying to condition me?”

There’s no answer, he just keeps reading; shakily, punctuated in the quick rhythm of his thrusts and laced with moans of his own. You just close your eyes and let go and soon enough you’re close to the edge again.

’We are famisshed, yes famisshed we are, precious,…” he croaks in a toned down, breathy Gollum impression that’s highly confusing and you clutch the sheet, pulling it loose.

“Shit… you gonna make me come…”

After a few more lines he stops reading and you hear the book drop. Eddie presses close to you, softly bites your shoulder while a hand wanders down between your legs to play with your clit.

‘Yess, yess, nice water,’ said Gollum,’ he continues from memory.

“Oh, you asshole,” you groan.

‘Drink it, drink it, while we can! But what is it they’ve got, precious? Is it crunchable? Is it… tasty?’

One strangled moan falls from your mouth and then your insides tense violently. Eddie mercilessly fucks you through it and beyond and doesn’t slow down until he coaxes another orgasm out of you. He follows you this time. You feel him pulse and twitch deep inside of you, feel his hot breath on your shoulder and neck and one stray tear escape the corner of your eye. It runs down the side of your nose while you listen to both your mismatched breathing slow down again.

“I fucking love you,” you babble groggily. “So much… so much…”

Eddie places a kiss on the back of your head and picks the book back up, resuming where he left off. He stays inside you while he softens until he slips out. The distinction between characters fades, the gaps between words grow longer but you barely register it; it’s the sound of his voice that pulls you under into the depths of Morpheus’ realm and you’re finally ready to descend completely…

‘Look here!’ Sam whispered to Frodo, not too softly: he did not really care whether Gollum heard him or not. ‘We’ve got to get some Sleep—' Eddie pauses. “Precious? You asleep?”

Your slow, even breathing is all the answer he gets. He carefully reaches over you and drops the book on the mattress before he turns off the light and wraps his arm around you.

“Gonna find you in my dreams,” he whispers into your shoulder and follows you into sleep.

[ettawritesnstudies]

Do you know any good fantasy (with maybe a hint of romance?) That are clean and not necessarily Christian but at least aren't full of anti Christian values? I am trying to find books to get my 12 year old sister to read, but I just don't read a lot of fantasy that isn't super complicated. I got her to read Caraval and she's loving that.

And you seem to know about a lot of books!

Absolutely!

The Rangers Apprentice series is a lot of fun as a character study. The worldbuiling falls apart after book 2 in the fantasy department but it's still a good story. It follows an orphan named Will as he learns how to be a ranger and protect the kingdom so there's a lot of themes about duty and devotion and friendship that make it really wholesome. There are depictions of battles and fight scenes where enemies die and characters get hurt but it's mostly PG. Book 3 does deal with some addiction and drug use but it's painted in a negative context. Extremely slow burn romance friends to lovers stretching over several books. There are references to Norse adjacent gods in the fictional swears but the religion aspect is pretty much irrelevant to the story. My 9 year old sister and 13 year old brother have read these and love them and they were my favorite when I was that age.

The Chronicles of Prydain is very similar to LOTR in theme and setting but it's geared towards kids so it's VERY fast paced by comparison. Absolutely one of my favorite series of all time, it follows Taran Assistant Pig Keeper as becomes a warrior and a man and learns that being a warrior is less important than being a good man. The one female character Eilonwy is great, she gets kind of sidelined by the author but the fandom (esp. @highqueenofprydain ) have fics to fix that. Also slow burn romance that doesn't get resolved until literally the last page of the series.

The Wingfeather Saga is my newest all time favorite. It's by a Christian author and has a lot of biblical references in it and the storytelling is incredible. It has the most realistic depiction of siblings in fiction I think I've ever read and the worldbuiling is genius. Implied romance in the form of childhood crush but it's very cute and feels like it'll build to more after the book is closed.

Some of my old favorites are also A Wrinkle in Time and The Little Prince. I recently read Coraline which is kind of scary but also really great. Amazing short stand alones with messages of courage and love triumphing over all.

Daughter of the Sun (the mothmar trilogy) by Amanda Auler is a new Christian fantasy that's a little more heavy/dark in theme so I would maybe hold off on recommending it to your sister until she's more in YA territory but it's EXCELLENT. I reviewed the first book here and I should have a ARC going up for the second book in the next week or so. Slow burn romance, brilliant worldbuiling, deep themes.

Heart of the Sea is another book I just read recently which is clean but also YA and more towards the romance side. It's a pirate adventure and it's just a lot of fun so for a standalone I think she'd enjoy it.

I remember when I was in high school I really liked the Lunar Chronicles series which is sci-fi fairy tale adaptations. Because it's classic princess stories there is romance and it's YA clean, and the sci-fi adventure part is exciting and very fun.

A lot of classic children's books are very good too, I would have to find a list but I grew up on the likes of Treasure Island and Anne of Green Gables. Not fantasy but it's always cool to read stuff that was written in a different time period.

I hope this helps! I'll add to it if I can come up with more.

[siena-sevenwits]

OK, I was tagged to spell out my url in songs I like by a few people (I am sorry, I have already lost track of who - I am pretty sure @saxifrage-wreath was one, but thank you to all of you!) So here we go.

S - "Shy" by Sarah Jessica Parker

Not a fan of the musical as a whole, but this song is bursting with good humour and fun for an alto. The fact that you get to blast the phrase, "I've always been SHYYYYYYYYYY" at the top of your lungs like a brass band going by really is the best.

I -"Inventor's Daughter" by Branches

I love the imagery and storytelling of this one - it's really only capturing about thirty seconds of their lives and yet I can imagine both him and her so clearly.

E - "England" by Great Big Sea

A lovely little song about some of the first Englishmen to arrive in Newfoundland.

N - "Now and For Always" from the Lord of the Rings Musical

When I was a little kid there was a period where I more or less knew the story of LOTR, but only as far as the end of the 1978 animated film. The last we see of Frodo and Sam, Sam has just expressed that he doubt they have rations for a return journey, and "after that..." Frodo, to the most poignant music has grasped Sam by the shoulders and said, "Oh Sam, Samwise Gamgee. My dearest Hobbit, friend of friends. After that? If the Ring goes into the fire, and we are at hand? After that, dear Sam. I wouldn't worry." (He turns away) Just to get there. Just to get there. The Ring is so heavy now, Sam." And then Gollum shows up, and leads them off over the ridge in search fo the winding stair. And I had no idea what happened to them after that. But that VHS was well worn, even more worn into my heart that into the tape, and to me it was like some kind of neverending myth. As though Frodo and Sam were still journeying to Mount Doom - eternal wanderers on their way to save the world in spite of weariness and suffering. This song, based on another conversation in the book, makes me feel the same way that moment in the movie did so long ago, when I didn't know how it ended.

A - "Augustine" by Vienna Tang

Ring for an Augustine tonight.

S- "The Show" by Lenka

Because it makes me think of a dear friend who considered this her theme song in one season of her life.

E - "Eight Days a Week" by the Beatles

I used to do quite a lot of ballroom dancing, and this one was a favourite for the foxtrot.

V - "Voice in My Throat" by Pearl and the Beard

A friend put this on a very sweet character playlist, and so it's associated with both her and with Gwendolyn from KQ.

E - "Emile et Raoul" from the "A Monster in Paris" soundtrack

Just a lovely little instrumental in a frankly outstanding soundtrack. (Almost all the songs are fantastic, though the instrumentals are nice too.)

N - "Neck of the Woods" by Maisie Peters

Lyrical, joyful, confident, all about closeness and growth.

W -"Will I Find My Home in You" (acoustic version) by Juniper Veil.

I put it in my Portland Row playlist, and have since fallen in love with it.

I - "I Love Rossini" by Andrea Boccelli

I do love Rossini, this one was a favourite when I was fifteen or so, and it now makes me think of my secondary lead character.

T - "The Tower" by Alana Henderson

A song about healing and patience, and I also associate it with Berlyne Alvarado.

S - "She's With Me" by High Valley

High energy, sheer devotion, makes me think of Mary if I listen selectively to the lyrics.

[carewyncromwell]

tagging @drinkyoursoupbitch​ because 1, references to her girl Gwendolyn “Wendy” Gordon-Copper and her other half Ben Copper, and 2, yay, the LOTR AU liiiiives!

x~x~x~x

Carewyn Cromwell-Took had encountered quite a few elves in her travels across Middle-Earth searching for news of her brother Jacob. The vast majority of those elves, however, were of Sindar descent -- her friend Chiara, for instance, was a Sindar healer with an almost encyclopedic knowledge of healing herbs and plants who served no one else than the Lady Galadriel herself. Rivendell, however, was largely made up of Noldor elves, and the feel of their town couldn’t be more different than the forest of Mirkwood. Whereas Lothlorian was an ethereal realm of chambers and halls that wound up trees toward the heavens themselves, Rivendell was a stately, regal fortress built up beside a waterfall -- beautiful, ornate, and established. 

Her mother had said there were great libraries in the cities of Noldor elves, Carewyn recalled. She could well believe it, seeing the town of Rivendell -- the elves she’d encountered here all came across as very well-studied, if not a bit pretentious. Most of them had not given her a second glance at first unless she’d been in the company of Gandalf or Lord Elrond. Not that Carewyn minded the lack of attention -- it was really more the condescension that had rubbed her the wrong way.

“I may not know as much about healing as you, Lord Elrond,” she’d said rather forcefully at one point, while helping tend to Cedric’s cursed wound at the elfin lord’s house, “but I’m hardly a country bumpkin, Shire-born and raised I may be! Even those Hobbits less traveled than I know of Elbereth, the Queen of Valar, and I’m confident in saying that you likewise recall how much the Morgul-King has always loathed her? Therefore singing of her can only do Cedric good, in helping him battle the injury that Nazgul inflicted on him. Not to mention it might help him sleep, which can help all matter of ills!”

For his part, Elrond was taken aback by the little hobbit lady’s stubbornness. He said as much to Gandalf, when the wizard had come to pay the resting Cedric Diggory-Baggins a visit. 

“She is willful and proud as a dwarf,” he said in something almost like a huff. “Not something I’m used to seeing among halflings.”

Gandalf chuckled around his pipe. “You have not known Hobbits as I have, old friend. Carewyn Cromwell-Took may be unusual in some ways, but her stubbornness is not uncommon, among them. She just directs it differently -- more toward doing good for others than just how best to arrange one’s herb garden.”

Elrond considered this. “...Yes...I will grant that the she-hobbit is courageous, to have ridden here with the littlest one while being chased by the likes of the Nazgul. And from what you’ve said of her, she’s also well-traveled -- an unusual trait, among her race. If you’re truly so reticent to have him take the Ring to Mordor, Gandalf, perhaps the she-hobbit would be a suitable replacement, for the role of Ringbearer -- ”

“No,” said Gandalf. 

The face and voice had immediately turned incredibly severe as he lowered his pipe. 

“...The One Ring takes advantage of our worst temptations and inner demons, and it has a stronger hold on those who themselves are strong. Carewyn Cromwell-Took is the last Hobbit I would ever entrust such a burden to.”

“You think she would fall to its temptations?” asked Elrond, raising his eyebrow. “Become corrupted, as the wretch Smeagol was?”

"...No,” Gandalf murmured after a moment, his expression growing sadder still. “Carewyn always strives to do good -- to save and protect those she chooses to care for, and to cause as little harm as she can. To take on other people’s burdens -- even ones far too heavy for the likes of a Hobbit -- soldiering through without complaint, expecting nothing short of perfection from herself at all times. Why else would she have taken on the quest to find her brother no matter where it would take her, while being small and fragile even by the standards of her race? Why else would she have braved orcs, goblins, the Lonely Mountain, with only the slightest hope she might find him alive? ...No...I think she would rather destroy herself than become corrupted by such evil.” 

Elrond looked almost approving. “Such conviction is necessary, for such a mission.”

But Gandalf bristled. 

“You fail to understand me, Lord Elrond!” he said sharply. “Carewyn would be torn and twisted up inside by the Ring, just as others have been -- wanting to do good, to save her brother and friends as well as the rest of Middle Earth, and yet pulled and pulled closer toward evil! She would push others away, with the thought to distance them from the Ring’s power and protect them from it! She would push herself beyond reason, expecting to do more than beings three times her size! She would berate and resent herself for being tempted at all, thinking that she should somehow be better than everyone else on this mortal plain and perfectly resist its toxic influence! She would neglect herself, her own well-being and health, just trying to complete the mission she took on -- hate herself more and more by the day because she cannot reach Mordor alone...and all the while, the Ring would be whispering in her ear, robbing her of her strength and resolve...blackening out all hope, encouraging the despair...that her brother is long-dead and gone and that everyone she loves will also soon be, if they’re not already. It will ensure that the likes of Saruman and the Nazgul have more of a chance to catch up with her and Carewyn spirals downward, loathing herself for being unable to do the impossible -- blaming herself for every crime Sauron and his forces have committed against her loved ones as if they were hers...”

The wizard’s eyes darkened with sorrow. 

“...Carewyn...would never make it to Mordor,” he said very softly. “She would self-destruct from the inside before she ever made it. She’d be killed, by another’s hand or her own, and it wouldn’t even matter...because she would willingly embrace the cold and silent comfort of death.”

Elrond’s lips came together tightly, clearly displeased. “Gandalf, the Ring will try to corrupt anyone close to it. It is safer in those Hobbits’ hands than it is in either of ours. And we must move quickly, to ensure it doesn’t reunite with Sauron...”

A flash of black caught Elrond’s eye. Down below the balcony he and Gandalf stood, he could see a familiar shape with dark hair and a beard dressed in a black velvet tunic carrying a basket of white-flowered plants. His eyes grew a little smaller.

Gandalf looked down as well.

“Returned from the Wilds again, I see.”

Elrond gave a light sniff. “He has gone back and forth these last two days in search of more Athelas, to soothe the littlest hobbit’s injury.”

“The mark of a truly noble heart,” said Gandalf with a small smile. “The heart of a King, one could say.”

Elrond’s narrowed eyes rested upon the Ranger called Amari as he gave the basket of herbs to one of Elrond’s servants with a respectful bow of his head. 

“I know,” he murmured. “But it’s as I’ve said -- he’s turned away from that path. He has never wanted that role. Even when he was a very young Man, before he learned the truth of his lineage...he never wanted it.”

“And yet I fear Fate may call him to it, all the same,” Gandalf said gravely. “Would it be so hard, to place our trust in a Man such as him?”

Elrond glanced at Gandalf out the side of his eye. He didn’t speak, but it was clear just how difficult of a question it was to answer. 

“He is not like other Men,” Elrond said at last, very darkly. “And yet, regrettably, he also is. And it’s for both of those reasons that I worry.”

~*~ 

Within another day, Cedric had fully recovered. Gandalf and his Hobbit friends Carewyn and Bill and Charlie Weasley were all incredibly relieved. So were Carewyn’s riding companions, Ben and Wendy Copper of Rohan, when she delivered the news to them -- though they were also a bit perplexed when she asked them more about where to find a certain white-flowering plant. 

“Kingsfoil, you mean?” said Wendy. 

“Do you know it?” asked Carewyn. 

“It grows in the outskirts of Gondor. Leaves a nice scent when burned.” The shieldmaiden gave Carewyn a curious look. “Thinking of collecting some incense for Lord Elrond? Lissuin would probably be better received...Yavannamíre leaves have a nice scent too...”

Carewyn shook her head. “Amari brought several baskets of this to Lord Elrond’s house, to help heal Cedric’s wounds.”

Wendy blinked. “Really?”

“I didn’t know Kingsfoil could be used for healing,” said Ben, cocking an eyebrow. “It’s just a common weed, where we’re from.”

Carewyn shook her head. “I saw the elves use it myself -- it helped seal up Cedric’s wound like invisible thread. ...I don’t know if Cedric would’ve survived, without it.”

The sadness that rippled over her eyes quickly hardened into resolve. 

“I thought it’d be good to have some more on hand, for the journey ahead.”

Carewyn bustled off to go locate her pony. With a quick glance at Wendy that was returned by a supportive nod, Ben strode over to catch up with her. His long strides compared to Carewyn’s tiny ones made it incredibly easy to do. 

“I’ll go with you,” he said quickly. 

~*~

Ben and Carewyn were gone most of the day. As the afternoon wore on, a delegation of dwarves arrived, as well as another delegation from the human kingdom of Gondor. They had come for a meeting arranged by Lord Elrond, set to make a decision about the fate of the One Ring and the growing darkness in Mordor and Saruman’s fortress in Isengard. 

Wendy knew logically it’d be good to rest and get her strength up before she and Ben inevitably rode off again, but at the same time, Rivendell was a truly beautiful place. Its library was immense and its courtyards ancient and grand. It was stunning to walk through. 

At one point while looking for a good place to read, Wendy happened upon a chamber marked with a beautiful mural, upon which was drawn a man garbed in silver and gold armor, raising a broken sword toward a monstrous soldier garbed all in black armor. 

Sauron, Wendy knew at once. The jagged, inhuman helmet was distinctive -- all art depicting Sauron featured it. 

Wendy looked from Sauron to the man holding the broken sword. His face was bearded and proud...and yet there was something almost familiar, in that face...something in the jawline or the downward slant of the eyelids...

“That is Isildur.”

Wendy turned around.

The ranger called Amari was sitting on a stone bench a short way away. He was also carrying a book, this one open in his hand -- he himself had clearly chosen this place to sit and read too.

Wendy raised her eyebrows with interest. “The King of Gondor who faced off against Sauron?”

She looked back at the mural. Looking at him, yes -- there was something very kingly, in his determined, bearded face. 

His very familiar bearded face...

Wendy turned to look at the Ranger reclined on the bench behind her again. There was something grim in his expression as he likewise turned his gaze onto the mural. His black eyes glinted with something dark -- almost uncomfortable...

It was as Wendy considered Amari that a glint of silver caught her eye. Beside the bench Amari was sitting on was a large stone statue, which held up a pedestal surrounded by several pillars. As Wendy walked closer, she found a sword on the pedestal -- a sword, in pieces.

The dark-haired shieldmaiden of Rohan inhaled in amazement. 

“This was Isildur’s sword,” she breathed. 

“Now mere shards.”

Wendy turned to Amari. His gaze remained on the mural beside her. 

“Fragments of a weapon and a time long since gone,” said Amari softly. “Just as with Isildur and his kingdom...all that remains now, after the devastation of Sauron...are mere pieces.” 

Wendy considered Amari and then the sword carefully. 

“...Swords can always be fixed,” she said at last. 

“But should they be?” asked Amari.

“Of course,” said Wendy. “Look -- the blade’s still sharp, even in pieces. It’s more than strong enough for battle.” 

“Can a tool only used for battle be used for anything else? Can a blade created with the sole purpose of cutting short lives and inflicting pain ever have a soul or purpose beyond that? Can a man born to fight...ever truly know peace?”

Wendy frowned deeply as the Ranger closed his book at last. 

“Weapons can indeed be useful in battle,” granted Amari, “but most battle far too liberally. It signals how dark our times are, that such weapons have become so necessary. It seems like good food and drink and thoughtful conversation would be much better methods of restoring balance...if only the conflicts we had to face were solely among the free peoples of Middle Earth...”

Wendy couldn’t help but smile. “Talking like that, you almost remind me of Carey.”

Amari blinked. “Carewyn?”

“Yeah. She’s never much liked fighting, however much she doesn’t act afraid, when she ends up in the middle of it. She hates the thought of anyone being in pain...I’ve always known her to prefer to fight with words, rather than the sword.”

Amari’s gaze softened ever-so-slightly. 

“Carewyn Cromwell-Took is very much a caretaker,” he agreed. “Lord Elrond said that she never left Cedric’s bedside, for the whole of his recovery.”

“She did the same thing for Ben, when he fell ill,” said Wendy with a big grin. “You never would’ve known she was only a third of his height, with how forcefully Carey wrangled him -- at one point, she even had to sit on top of his chest, just to keep him from getting out of bed!”

Amari laughed. It was a very soft, understated sort of chuckle, but there was some genuine mirth there.

“Carewyn Cromwell-Took has an inner fire on pier with a dragon’s,” he said, his voice almost fond. “I think even Lord Elrond is impressed by it, however unusual he finds it.”

Something more solemn then passed over his face.

“...It’s part of the reason Lord Elrond wants Carewyn present for the Council meeting tomorrow.”

Wendy blinked. “The one meant to discuss the fate of the Ring?”

Amari’s black eyes grew a little darker, more solemn as he nodded. “He believes Carewyn’s search for her brother, who likewise sought out the Ring’s location before his disappearance, would give her valuable insight. And truthfully, with how young Cedric is, Gandalf thought she might be a better representative, to speak out for the interests of Hobbits.”

Wendy nodded. “Carey’s always been very well-spoken. If the Council’s supposed to speak on behalf of their respective people, she’d be a good choice, to speak for the Shire. I don’t reckon there’d be much of anyone else who’d do it, at least, if Charlie’s to be believed...from what I gather, most Hobbits just want to be left well enough alone.”

Amari inclined his head in a muted nod, his eyes drifting up and away toward the mural on the far wall again.

“I can understand such a desire for self-sufficiency and independence,” he said lowly. “It’s just regrettable that in such times, if we choose to live alone, we will inevitably die alone, as well, once the War Against Sauron reaches us.”

In the moonlight cast through the nearby window, Amari’s profile was illuminated. It highlighted the grim resolve of his bearded face -- made his black eyes glint with an almost kingly shine...

Wendy’s blue eyes widened. 

Isildur?

“Wendy! There you are!”

Wendy looked up. Ben was striding toward her.

At the sight of her husband, Wendy immediately moved to his side and greeted him with a kiss.

“Did you find the Kingsfoil?” she asked.

“It took a while, but yes,” said Ben with a faintly tired sigh. “Who would’ve thought such a common weed could be so hard to track down?”

“If you wish to find more, I could lead you to some fields of it.”

Ben looked up, startled -- he hadn’t noticed Amari reclining on the stone bench at first either.

“...It was Carewyn who’d wanted some,” he said, after he’d recovered. “She said you brought some, to help Cedric.”

“She said Cedric might’ve been lost, if it hadn’t been for you bringing them,” Wendy added, shooting a quick, pointed smile Amari’s way.

The Ranger bowed his head modestly. “It was the least I could do. Now then, I won’t keep you. Lord Elrond’s servants should have dinner ready shortly -- I’m certain Carewyn would be displeased, if you missed a meal.”

“If she’d be upset with us for not going to dinner, don’t you think she’d likewise be upset with you?” Wendy said airily, but she laughed all the same. Amari himself smiled broadly as well, showing white teeth.

“All the same,” said Ben, “we should eat and get to bed promptly, if we’re to be well-rested for the Council meeting tomorrow morning.”

Wendy sighed. “Yes, I suppose so...”

As she left, though, she added as an aside to Amari,

“Concerning that question you asked, though -- about whether a man born to fight can ever know peace...I think it really depends on what the man is fighting for. Some men fight for glory -- others, land or power. Still others fight for love. But if what the man fights for is peace -- the safety and happiness of others...well, who’s to say that they couldn’t reach it, if they tried?”

Wendy inclined her head slightly as she smiled wryly. 

“Maybe then that broken sword could still have some use.”

Amari watched silently as the two Rohirrim left the chamber. He didn’t move at all for a long moment, instead merely contemplating the matter -- then he tucked the book under his arm and left the chamber in the opposite direction.

~*~

Once he’d returned the book to its source, the Ranger wandered through the courtyard outside the house of Elrond. He set about trimming the branches and vines that had grown wild in his absence, covering the small marble memorial that had been erected there. He had used nothing but his hands, until suddenly he found a pale hand cutting away at the branches with a small blade beside him.

Amari looked down. It was Carewyn. The blade she used was clearly meant to be a knife for an elf or a man, but in her hands, it was more like a sword.

“You’ll hurt your hands, pulling out branches like that,” Carewyn scolded him, even as her gaze stayed locked on the plant that she was trimming, rather than up at him.

Amari’s black eyes softened. “Thank you.”

Once the branches and vines were hacked away, it was easier to clean off the excess leaves and dirt, revealing the small, carved marble woman underneath. Amari brushed the residue from her face with his hand gently, so as to better make out her expression.

“She’s beautiful,” said Carewyn. 

Amari considered her. The little she-Hobbit was looking over the statue and the flowers in her lap. She even at one point took out her handkerchief and wiped the grime out of the crevices of the statue’s hands -- a gesture that touched Amari’s heart and made his face soften that bit more.

“...She was of the Dunedain,” he said quietly. “A lady of the North -- the widow of a great Chieftain, who tragically lost her life to an orc’s arrow, while riding her only child to the safety of Rivendell’s gates.”

Carewyn looked up at Amari. “What was her name?”

“Gilraen, daughter of Dirhael. Even now, the Rangers of the North call her Gilraen the Fair.”

Looking thoughtful, the little she-Hobbit then abruptly turned and bustled back over to the stairs a few feet away. On the bottom step was a basket full of Athelas. She reached into her basket and plucked out some of the largest of the white flowers, before she returned to the memorial, where she arranged them in a neat little line at the feet of the statue.

“May it be the shadow's call will fly away... May it be you journey on to light the day... When the night is overcome, you may rise to find the sun...”

Carewyn’s voice was like a prayer on the night wind. It made Amari feel like his joints had all faded to shadows of themselves -- like he and his heart were both suddenly pounds lighter. He found his eyes sliding closed absently despite himself, just hearing it. 

“Mornie utulie...believe and you will find your way... Mornie alantie...a promise lives within you now...”

It was almost tragic when she fell silent again, closing her eyes and inclining her head and shoulders respectfully to the statue of Gilraen.

When Amari opened his eyes to look down at her, he found himself feeling fuller and warmer than he had before. 

“That was beautiful,” he murmured. 

“Thank you,” Carewyn said politely. 

Amari’s eyes twinkled with fondness. “No...I believe it is I who should thank you, Carewyn. Gilraen has never known such a tribute, nor I would think has most anyone.”

Carewyn glanced away with a frown. “...Hm, well, I would think real flowers would be more suitable. Most Hobbits would have given lilies, in such circumstances...”

“Most Hobbits wouldn’t have thought to pay their respects to a human woman they had never met before, out of nothing but the goodness of their heart,” Amari cut her off cleanly. His black eyes glinted like warm stars. “I think even Lord Elrond himself would consider himself honored, to be the subject of such sincere kindness.” 

Carewyn blushed a bit, but nonetheless looked up at the Ranger with a small smile. “...Well, she’s your kin, isn’t she? For inspiring you...she deserves proper respect.”

Amari’s expression flickered, betraying genuine surprise. Then it bloomed into a fuller, more handsome smile. Even his eyes, crinkled up to make room for his smile, seemed overflooded with warmth. 

“...Thank you, Carewyn,” he said softly. 

He looked up at Gilraen’s statue thoughtfully. 

“I never knew her,” he admitted, “at least, not that I can recall. But Lord Elrond has told me of her, and I have heard tales from her people.”

“Were you very young, when she brought you here?” Carewyn asked.

“I was only two years of age, when she entrusted me to Lord Elrond’s care.”

“I’m sorry.”

Carewyn’s eyes were overfull with empathy. 

“I was the same age when my father left,” she admitted.

Amari looked at her, startled.

“Evan Took,” Carewyn explained. “Shire-born and raised. It was because of him that my mother settled in the Shire -- the Cromwells are more Stoor in origin, the Tooks are solidly Fallohides. My father didn’t fear the Cromwells at the start, hence why he married my mother at all -- but well, Hobbits prefer peace and stability...and the Cromwells disapproved of him so much that they were willing to make our lives a living hell, all to try to force us to return to their home in the Vales of Anduin. And although my mother and brother were more than willing to stand their ground and stand up to them...my father, ultimately, was not, Took he might be. So he left. It took until I was nearly 30 to finally deal with the Cromwells soundly enough that they never returned to the Shire.”

Carewyn smiled darkly. 

“I thought it was them that had prevented Jacob’s return. in the beginning,” she explained. “But when I passed Mirkwood to look for him, they had not seen him either. It was then I first heard about Jacob seeking out the location of the One Ring.”

“How old were you when your brother disappeared?” asked Amari.

“I’d just come of age,” said Carewyn. After a moment, she realized this wouldn’t mean as much to a man, considering how differently they aged, so she added in explanation, “I was newly 33.”

Amari gave a little nod, clearly grateful for the addition. “...Then you are still quite young.”

Carewyn cocked her eyebrows.

“Well, you said that you started your journey to look for your brother after a year of receiving no word from him,” Amari explained. “So, I must presume, you went out to look for him at age 34. And since I doubt you’ve been traveling as long as I have, it’s likely you’re still in your 30′s now.”

“Is that a gentleman’s way to ask a lady’s age?” Carewyn asked amusedly.

“I thought it rude to ask directly,” said Amari.

Carewyn’s red lips curled up in a dry smile. “I will be 45 next fall.”

“Still a mere lass, then,” Amari said with a wry smile of his own. 

Carewyn scoffed. “Hardly! However small in stature I am and lacking in years I may be, I am no child.”

Amari chuckled. “No, certainly not. Even if you are far younger than I...I have the feeling that your soul is older and wiser than your body would suggest.”

Carewyn raised her eyebrows curiously. “Younger than you? I thought that Men lived shorter lives than Hobbits.”

“Most do,” Amari granted. “My ancestors were not all Men -- there is some Elvish blood in my line, as well.”

Carewyn’s eyes lit up. “So that’s why your mother brought you to Rivendell! These elves are also your kin...Lord Elrond is your kin.”

Amari shook his head. “Yes -- but the blood I share with Lord Elrond is on my father’s side, and very distantly. My mother, however, being of the Dunedain, was descended from Numenor, who was blessed with long life by the Valar for his courage in battle. This ancestry is distant enough that I shall certainly not live to be 300, as Numenor did...but perhaps I could reach half that, someday.”

Carewyn tilted her head toward him curiously, her lips curled up in a wryer smile. “And how close are you to achieving that goal, if I may ask?”

Amari’s eyes twinkled. “I am newly 75, as of this month.”

Carewyn giggled behind her hand. “You are very spritely for a middle-aged man, sir!”

Amari laughed as well -- the soft, understated chuckling was warm in the back of his throat. Her lips spread into a very pretty, red-painted smile, Carewyn reached up a hand and took hold of the Ranger’s.

“Come now,” she said as she gave it a very light but pointed tug. “I know Men eat far less than Hobbits, but you’d best eat a hearty supper, before you retire to bed. Lord Elrond says you don’t favor meat, but I’m sure some of Mrs. Weasley’s apple-cinnamon porridge would give you some proper strength...maybe with some nuts mixed in, if I can lay my hands on any...”

Amari’s black eyes blinked at how firmly she led him by the hand. He wasn’t used to people holding his hand -- he found his fingers falling limp in her grip. As his eyes moved from her hand clasped around his to her face, however, his expression softened again, gaining more visible fondness.

“...You noticed I was not at dinner, then?” he asked, thinking of Wendy’s words from earlier. 

Carewyn huffed. “You’re more than twice my size, Amari -- of course I noticed. And because you’re twice my size, I expect you will eat at least half as much as I ate at the dinner you missed.” 

Amari chuckled more than ever, even though the volume never rose. His black eyes squinted down at her warmly over his blazing white smile. 

It was remarkable how a lady of such small stature could command such respect and affection from others in so little time, with seemingly so little effort. 

[shae-la-hyene]

10 animated intros that slap you off your feet

(part of my ongoing war against stupid MsMojo top ten videos)

10 Robin Hood

For an old one, this intro is memorable, mainly because it's hilarious. Good way to actually introduce every character which are not recognizable (because they're animals). Back then the intros where mostly just names and credits on an artsy background, not super imaginative. But this one has that music that is just so good, especially sped up at 175% and the visual gags are on point. I'm biased because I'm a furry, but Robin Hood's intro holds a dear place in my heart.

9 Dinosaure

There's just something about the narrative of this one... It has the same vibe as the journey of Moses' basket on the Nile in The Prince of Egypt, but longer and just... wickedly interesting. You discover a whole world and it's thrilling. Also the music, the soliloquy... I just like it.

8 Mulan

This is an Aesthetic. The ink on paper making clouds is just *chef kiss* it's so beautiful. But what I love most is the dark atmosphere of Shanyu arriving on the Wall, the knowledge that the guard there was most definitely going to die and used his last moments to light the fire, for something far bigger than him. And the lighting of the fires one by one, almost as good as the lighting of the beacons in Lotr 3, but it did its job : we're shaken. A war started and we are perfectly aware of that fact. It's dark and serious and beautiful and scary. Mulan's intro is not joking around, it needs you here and now, because people are in danger and this is war. You chill out instantly. It's a good preparation for when all songs stopped after they discover all the dead bodies. This is serious. This is war.

7 Beauty and the Beast

THE fairy tale intro. None nailed it as well before, and none did since. Everything is here : the velvety voice narrating the beginning of the tale (ok Cinderella was good too for that but the voice just didn't have the same emotional impact), the tragic backstory, the gorgeous settings of old stones, forest, stream and roses bushes, the evil enchantress, the cursed prince, the visual elements... And those stained glass... Man nobody forgot Beauty and the Beast's stained glass. They set the aesthetic the same way Sleeping Beauty's tapestry art was announced right away. And the symbolism of the statues becoming gargoyles and... Damn everything in this is so perfect... They couldn't have done it better and I'm so so grateful.

6 Aladdin

Depending on the dubbing version, the lyrics of Arabian Nights vary to more or less dirty. I love it. For a long time, I was able to recite completely the seller's speech that follows the song. I wonder if I still can... Probably. My memory has weird priorities. But anyway. The colors are of this are fucking gorgeous. The animators LOVED the desert, and it fucking shows. You can feel the burning sand under your feet, the suffocating air all around you, you are blinded by the sun and you're THERE. That songs is like a crooked finger, inviting us deep into a world that smells of spices and heavy fabrics. This is one of those intros that just say 'come, follow me, so I can whisper you a story around a fire, and we can only follow. Again, it sets the scene perfectly, we know exactly where we are, what we are going to see, what world we are entering, and we know there are gonna be jokes that shouldn't be in a kids movie.

5 Shrek

'someBODY' is what I saved that gif as, which is the reason I struggled to find it again, but no regret because it's still making me laugh. I love Shrek so damn much, and every single second of it. But we must admit that the intro slapped. The song is like 63% of it, but we do already have the laugh, the very clear setting, the 'aww' moment of the tale just... broken beyond repair when Shrek wiped his ass with it... The hilarious disgust of seeing his 'hygiene' routine. And yet we get why he loves his little life in his little swamp. It's homey, it's his, it appeals to the deep rooted wish we all have at least sometimes to live in a cottage with a garden and a fireplace and pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist. If I was an ogre, I would totally want that life. Since I'm mostly human I want actual toothpaste but apart from that, it checks out.

4 The Prince of Egypt

Deliver us is sooooo beautiful. So heartbreaking too, leaving a bitter taste in our mouth, and the kind of rage in the face of injustice that makes us want to go to war. Slavery, the physical reality of it, is revolting, as it always should be, and is very rarely depicted like that. But not for The Prince of Egypt. His animators aren't fucking pussies and they'll talk about what people don't want to hear. They were slaves. They were pushing through in abused malnourished bodies, under the very real threat of whips, and they will do what no living being should have to do. All for the glory of a Pharaoh that doesn't care about any of them. The voice of the singers is bitter, tired, with an anger thinned by time. There's no escape from that, but faith.

The love of a mother that is ready to do anything for the hope that her child will be okay, it always rings true and deep. Seeing her baby drift away is the hardest thing she'll ever do, but she has no other choice, she does it for a feeble hope. It's the kind of strength that you won't see on a battlefield, but has more impact on life and the world than a thousand warriors. Then seeing the basket go through every danger the Nile can hold is terrifying, especially lived through the eyes of his sister, hope becomes thinner and thinner and you're ready for that thread to snap, but it doesn't, it's stronger than it looks, and eventually hope, and the basket's content, lives on to see another story start.

3 Tarzan

So many emotions in so little time... We asked Phil Collins to make the songs for Tarzan he said 'hold my beer'. He didn't have to go that hard, but he did it, he did it for us. It SLAPS HARD, man. Slaps you across the face and leave you in tears. There's the fear, then the hope, the determination, the euphoria, the happiness, and then it crashes down with terror and despair and a heartbreak so sudden you didn't saw it coming. By the time you realize the baby gorilla is dead, it's only two minutes in but your world had shaken on its ground. And can we talk about THE BEST TRANSITION EVER, when the leopard's eyes were replaced by the sun, then the moon ? Damn that was powerful... What happens in the end, is the best narrative representation of 'what is grief if not love persevering ?' She had love left to give, and she'd fight to have someone to give it to. Also I really really love the way they drew 'Tarzan' as if carved into stone, illuminated by torchs, with the drums it has that Jumanji vibe that I loooove.

2 The Hunchback of Notre-Dame

I love this so much, man... Sometimes I just play the movie just for the first few minutes, for the chill, the powerful ring of the bells, the chorus that fill your chest with strength and passion. I could talk for hours about that song, but I'll try to keep it short. The Hunchback of Notre-Dame is the source of my deep love for Gregorian Chorus. That story, movie or book, is the reason I went to see Notre-Dame when they rang the bells again after years of silence, went just for it. Every time I go to Paris, a few hours are spent just standing there, looking at her, or sitting on her benches, and just loving her. Notre-Dame is home. Please, please, listen to it in french. A lot of songs from that movie are good in english but they are 'oh fuck me' moaning level in french. I'm not even kidding. The Bells is one of them. The intensity of that whole song and scene is just overwhelming, I don't think I've ever felt like that with any other piece of media. One of the few animates movies that went as hard as showing us a cold blooded murder, on screen, within the first five minutes. That's ballsy. The BANG when the screen shifts to show us the towers peeking above the clouds are like a jumpscare, but good. The love for the mundane setting of old Paris, the tale told by a gypsy joker, the puppets and theatre decor, the amazed faces of the children, and then boom, the dark backstory starts. The cruel intervention of faceless soldiers, the cold demeanor of Frollo, almighty on his hard horse, with a face that says he doesn't allow any mercy. I've been obsessed with the gesture of the soldier's hand locking the handcuffs, it's just so fluid and beautiful and final, like sealing a tomb. Then the chase, with the chorus that speeds up to an out of breath fear and rage. Them reaching their peak as Frollo totally planned on killing a baby on screen after killing his mother, it escalates quickly and frankly you thought he was going to do it. The snow... Then the lighting flash effect as the image of Clopin and the priest alternate, and you know those children in front of Clopin are having the time of their lives because he's one hell of a story teller... That transition of him using the curtain as cape... The silouhette effect of Quasimodo growing up in the tower and then. Then it's the moment that breaks you. The chorus reaching the biggest peak with a light escalation, Clopin singing off the top of his lungs, Quasimodo ringing the bells in time with it, with all the strength of his crooked body, each pull taking his whole body with it, each ring of the bells shaking the ground you stand on. There's the strength of Quasimodo's body in that moment. Forced out of deformed limbs, built up from years and years pulling on ropes and moving steel monsters, claiming a story that isn't pretty but that is his.

Sorry. I rambled. I really love it. In case you couldn't say.

Honorable mentions

Wall-e : because the reality of what the world has become and why it ended up like that comes crashing down on you on a cheery music and you can't really justify any thought of 'it's not that bad'.

1 The Lion King

Few things can actually beat the Bells, that's true, but I can guarantee that there is NOTHING IN THE WORLD that can beat the energy that the Lion King introduction has, or the impact it has on someone when they come back to see it as an adult remastered in a cinema, eyes glued to the screen as all the children in the theater go 'ooooooohhhh' and they smile, knowing it was going to stay in those kids' mind forever. Again, Disney animators LOVE african deserts, and I can't really blame them. That gives us a color palette to drool at, full of fire and heat and baked earth. Makes every shadow so much more powerful. Every time a sun ray pierces through the clouds to the ground, I can't help but think of this song. That very powerful moment that made every pet cat in the world HATE disney with all their cat heart. It is super weird but there is something shaking and sobering in seeing a giraffe bow. This is a ceremony, a very important one, a ritual as old as time as just as important. You can't just... not be there for it. The first series of frames, showing all the animals travel from everywhere, they are all masterpieces that would just deserve prices on their own (I use all of them as wallpapers because I can) and they're all in succession, one after the other, and there's no way you're still breathing by then. Seeing The Story of Life for the very first time is an experience, one that changes you and that you never truly forget.

Also see : Top ten Villain songs, Top ten sad songs, Top ten romantic songs, Top ten intros that slap, Top ten pretty songs, Top ten not-that-bad sequel, Top ten worse sequels, Top five terrifying villains

[shutupanddance]

LOTR is one of your writing options?!? Holy crap!

Okay, okay, okay, can you do a reader insert with Kili with a sassy reader?

Thank you, thank you!!

Oh my Lord, yes!! I love him!! So glad someone requested something from the LOTR universe. I hope you don’t mind me making this into headcanons? I just couldn’t fit it all into a one shot :)

Also, sorry if I make any plot mistakes! Haven’t watched the Hobbit for awhile 😅

- When Kili meets you for the first time, it’s not really a “meeting”.

- He arrives at camp to see Legolas arguing with some girl — scratch that — some ANGEL — well, it’s less arguing, and more you yelling at the elf — and he’s entranced.

- You’re also an elf. A really pretty one. And you’re screaming at the top of your lungs in elvish. Legolas looks less than pleased. Kili wishes he could understand what you’re saying.

- “That’s Y/N,” Balin explains from beside him, his tin ear at his side. No need for an aid to hear you. “She’s angry at Legolas for leaving the kingdom. Saying his father sent her to retrieve him.”

You’re suddenly storming off, right in Kili’s direction, so he takes the chance to introduce himself.

”I’m Kili!”

”Hi Kili,” you mutter, moving right past him.

He’s officially smitten.

- Kili finds that when you’re not yelling, you’re really kind. You come up to him later and apologize for your rudeness to him, and of course, he says it’s no problem. He’s happy to meet you.

- You stay with the group, not because you want to, but because you need a way to keep an eye on Legolas. The dwarves are all pretty happy about this (they thought Legolas needed to be taken down a few notches anyway), except for Thorin. He’s not very pleased.

- But when the orcs attack, you defend them fiercly. You even take an arrow to the arm for Kili. You gain Thorin’s respect, but Kili feels horrible about it.

”It’s nothing, really. Just a scratch,” you assure him.

”But I owe you my life.”

Cue Kili following you around and wanting to help with everything.

- I mean, he won’t let you pick any heavy objects up. He collects your arrows for you. He offers to lead the horse you’re riding if you want to sleep.

- It’s really sweet, but you don’t want him to feel like he owes you something.

The truth is, he just wanted an excuse to follow you around.

- At nights, by the fire, you always take the first watch with him. You find that he’s so fun to talk to. He’s lived through many different homes, and he has a fascination of the natural world that you’ve never seen in a dwarf. While you may know more bird species than him, he knows more rocks, and more about the habits of the animals that he watches so intently.

You tell him all about your life, and he tells you about his. You find that, even though you come from different worlds, you fit better with Kili than with anyone else.

- You tend to have a fast and loud mouth, which is frowned upon by other elves, but Kili thinks you’re hilarious. He loves to antagonize you just a little bit and hear you sharply defend yourself, then suddenly stop when you realize it‘s just teasing. You feel embarassed every time, but he’s smiling at you like you hold the moon and stars, so there isn’t much to be upset about anymore.

- He’s also your supporter in everything. Sometimes you’ll make a rude joke, and get a look from Thorin and Balin, but Kili is all laughs.

You begin to relax more and more around him, finding that you can speak your mind. And Kili learns that you love a good verbal sparring match. Even if he‘s more of a lover than a fighter, he’ll put on a fake voice and pretend to egg you on, which leaves you in giggles. One time, he mimicked Thorin, and you were rolling around with laughter. Partially because Thorin was standing behind your new friend, looking displeased.

- To have a friend on a journey like this is a sweet thing, and you don’t take it lightly. But sometimes, when you watch him listen to the birds, or smile at you the way he does, or look back to make sure his Hobbit relatives are all present and accounted for, you wonder what law of nature is so cruel to keep you from being with him. You wonder if this is love, the quiet adoration of another, and you wonder if it would be such a crime to stay here.

At might, when you dream of home, it isn’t Murkwood that your mind travels to. It’s sitting by the fire with Kili.

[neptune-midheaven]

💓 Astro Notes PT 3 ! 💓

+I’m definitelyy gonna do sign posts soon, like houses, planets, asteroids, and all, it’s all gonna have a theme to each topic yada yada yadaa, so look outtt+

>A bit of a long post here so have fun scrolling through it hehe :))

*All aries risings have sign/house synchronization because the house order doesn’t move or if it does move at all it hardly does, only shifting by a sign or two depending on how late the ascendant degree is, this is notorious of aries’ independence streak by wanting each sign to be in their native houses, to feel its house’s full power, aries rules 1st the house of identity so there’s the more symbolic way for this occurring. It’s pure energy here.

*Venus-saturn, especially conjunction, definitely carry a big daddy vibe. It’s more prominent if the two are placed in the angular houses.

*Taurus and libra are both rules by venus, but these energies are distributed between the two signs in different ways. A basic way to differ the two energy wise is taurus is the “masculine” side of venus, libra is far more “feminine”. Both are delicate but in different ways taurus is “heavier”, for it being an earth sign, contrasted with the airy and flighty libra.

*Libra sun is in fall in astrology, the fall meaning the behavior of the sign contradicts the traditional role of the planet, the role of the sun is to stand out from everyone else, its your radiance, what makes you special, it’s your ego and what you take pride in. But libra wants to be relatable to everyone, to NOT stand out, merge and meet and balance !! This is the opposite of aries, aries is independent, “what makes ME independent, me me me !!”, explaining its exaltation when the sun enters this sign, it’s not absolutely the same as leo sun or the suns energy overall but it’s a close fit, almost... perfect, that’s what the exaltation means represents here. Libra is focused on everyone else around them, everyone other than themselves, the people around them and how they can compromise to fit everyone’s needs. I mentioned before they don’t like to stand out, this is excluding fire placements in a libras chart which will create a person who relates well to others but still demands to stand out in whatever planet is in a fire sign.

*Whatever house leo is ruling is wherever your rising sign’s ego is being expressed in, ex: leo in 11th expresses their ego, creativity with friends, causes. This area of life is where you’ll likely take most pride in, excluding the suns placement in the chart.

*Neptune in 7th can attract a lot of partners in need of healing or help. This person is very healing and guiding in relationships, maybe they could even make a good guidance counselor, but I’m not so sure astrologically because I haven’t looked into it entirely, let me know if this is true.

*Neptune in 2nd is the type of person to browse a shop, find whatever they like but never end up buying it, they change their minds about it by putting it back right before they leave. They could’ve been talking about hooow much they want to get whatever they’re holding onto over and over again but never buy the thinggg.

*Aries mercury were always told to lower their voice or be quiet as kids I swear.

*Uranus in 12th feels they should hide their brilliance, these are veryy creative people they just keep it a secret.

*12th house feels like a never ending game of hide and seek, you find the planet sometimes but you’re always in a never ending loop, always searching for it.

*The moon in astrology, when looking into the mother, who’s ruled by the moon in astrology, describes your relationship with her, what she’s like, how she raised you etc...

*Ex: taurus moons, your mother gave you many gifts, she adored youu as taurus is ruled venus which rules gifts and appreciation, she was also very relaxed in your childhood, she still is now. This relationship is a very calm, steady one, moon is exalted in taurus meaning the role of the moon is comfortable in relaxed and comfy taurus.

*Ex: a moon in 8th, the house of intense and psychic scorpio, could have a psychic or even telepathic bond to the mother, this is a very strong connection overall and depending on its sign and aspects is where you’ll find the specifics of the relationship from, the details, how the relationship is flavored.

*Sun in 12th indicates an absent father figure. This placement is difficult, i’m so sorry if you have it because you can never feel like you can be yourself, it’s hidden from you. With any other placement in astrology, there’s a gorgeous, forgiving upside to it, you’re very healing and understanding of others, an empath or at least someone who sucks in the negative vibes out the environment, it can get quite exhausting !! so always need to seclude yourself now and then, you’re very loyal and caring of your loved ones, people love you for your sensitivity and empathy as this placement also makes you an old soul, someone overflowing with wisdom others rely on.

*5th house shows you what your child will be like, what traits they embody, what they will do and even how they act.

*Capricorn risings look elvish, they have high cheekbones a lot like a LOTR character and elvish, chiseled ears. It’s not OUT there but it’s subtle.

*Chiron in 9th has experienced religious trauma.

*A lot of 12th or 8th house placements carry a lot of karma.

*Mercury-pluto (especially negative) can become inconsiderate in arguments, they bring up a ton of shit to use against you, only as long as they can win.

*Scorpio suns are far more optimistic and light hearted than the moon sign.

*Mercury-ascendant aspects can make even an introverted rising sign more out-going, open, talkative (not that introverted risings can’t be talkative this is just what comes with this placement).

*You may be good at something without realizing it, take a peak at your 12th house or quintiles !! For quintiles, look up the trine form of whatever two planets are aspected for the general description since there’s not too much to find online sadly. 12th house is something you don’t really know or realize you’re good at, especially early in life, the secret talent pertaining to whichever sign or planet are ruling/in this house.

*Leo venus take pride in their loverss like damnnnn they literally treat their partners as royalty, king and queen, kissing the ground they walk on and everything, they’re so devoted in love, it’s adorable !! <33

*Pisces and leo moons, THE dreamiest, most romantic moon sign pairr, it’s well known pisces is the hopeless romantic of the zodiac, however to bring up the flamboyant, dramatic leo moon when describing a dreamy romantic you wonder, really ?? Yes this is extremely true ! Both signs, pisces and leo, are fairly alike, almost alike in fact, considering they both create a inconjunction in the natal chart, two signs who share some similarities while still contradicting one another in ways they express these similarities, both pisces and leo are creative, talented, have a love for the arts, film, music, loyal as friends and love to care for others, both are insanely idealistic. Leo rules the child remember !! so they’re a childlike sign with young idealism, an idealistic moon sign here. Both leo and pisces moons are children at heart, they’re so gooey and sweet.

*Sun in 10th can get any job they apply for, they could even be terrible at that job they want, the one they want to try out for, they would even have a breakdown over how terrible they were in an interview but still get the job like HOWW- WITCHCRAFTT.

*Aquarius mercuries were known as the smartest kid in class, the einstein’s of the class, everyone asked for their answers for the homework, they just carry this flair of intellectual superiority just like the sun sign haha.

*Your 12th house is what you unconsciously give off the vibe of, your ascendant and midheaven are noticeable layers, different types of layers of you !!but the subtle layers of the 12th house, sign or planet, can always be sensed unconsciously, 12th house energies are at a higher octave, a higher vibration than the other houses, even 11th, you can notice a person’s subtle 12th house energy but they’re still completely unaware of it as it’s ! hidden ! from them.

*Aquarius venus, and really all air venuses in general, are soo stereotyped UGHH, what I mean by stereotyped is the descriptions of each of these venus signs is literally like the same shit over and overrr again, they all get terrible reps in the astro community it seems almost close minded because it’s also such a hugee generalization. It’s only about how the air venus energy is used, manifested in the person, if its underdeveloped or not. If it’s underdeveloped it’s going to be chaotically afloat from material love affairs, which earth venuses don’ttt like, water too, fire can handle the floaty-ness but if the passion’s not there- BYE !! If you develop an air venus well enough, you can balance the material and intellectual realms in your relationships, this is kinda natural for earth heavy charts with one the air signs here, however fire or even more air could become a little tricky to ground yourself in relationships. Just let your partners know you deserve your space because you guys can really run out of mental power after a while, so it’s necessary for you to recharge !! just don’t ghost people completely when you do, it’s where this immortal stereotype comes from.

*Saturn dominant people are flawless beings.

*Saturn in 3rd, YOU GUYS ARE SOOOSOO SOOO SMART AHH. Their minds are always running at a fast pace like literal lightning, or they become too overwhelming (not in a bad sense ofcc, it’s just how it is) that the person’s speech rhythm is kinda forgotten about in a way, it feels like that their mouths aren’t always running in sync. The thought they’re going to express into words should come out but it’s so quick or even “heavy” it jumbles up a sentence or it causes the person to mix up a word or two. Their minds are fast fast fastt but they feel like their mouths are running in literal slow motion. There’s nothing wrong with this, this placement makes amazingly smart peoplee. Just relax, try letting yourself go in conversation, let all that big, brain energy freee !!

*Alsoo, as singers they would and definitely ALWAYSS get their notes right, they have actual PERFECT voices, they really should become writers or, like I said, singing would be perfect for them because they would never mess up lmaoo.

*Libra, computerized concern and sympathy...

*Pluto in 8th feel unbeatable, indestructible almost, they have above average regenerative abilities, they have the best survival tactics but they keep it a secret, it’s 8th house we’re talking about.

*Whatever saturn is in is the area where you’ll become flawless in, you’ll master that area throughout your life with time.

*There is a guiding planet in astrology, the planet that is closest behind the sun, it’s considered your “second” chart ruler, or basically has the energy of it because you can probably relate to it being one of the most prominent energies in your chart.

*Sagittarius//9th house mercury is soooo blunt, so blunt. Wait did I mention they’re SOOO SO BLUNT.

*Moon in 5th need to perform, they love to get out on stage and perform with their entire hearts, they’ll do amazing in the performing arts, theatre, and honestly they probably already aree. These people are so playful and generally so fun to be around, they’re natural hypemen as well !!

*Taurus venus love to be appreciated by their partners, the gifts, the kisses, the food and allll.

*Neptune in 3rd feel everything in their environment, they can sift through the energies and vibes, it’s second nature, no not second nature, FIRST nature, they’re one with everything around them. Their minds are like a hazy, cloudy ocean containing every drop, every thought of a place, a person.

*Moon in 11th, and 10th too, have a special ability to understand and sympathize with the public, they always know what the public wants and even how to give it to them. This can easily get them famous since they’re extremely understanding people, especially if moon is healthy in the chart.

*Someone with a lot of capricorn/10th house or aquarius/11th house energy is very extroverted, they enjoy socializing with others but suffer from social burn outs often, they often need to recharge.

*Scorpio risings have intense voices, like their tone radiates throughout your head and it can feel intense overall, even when they’re speaking casually. The specific flavor or tone doesn’t matter but how it sounds overall is piercing.

*In astrology, libra rising starts the house cusps with each houses sister signs ruling each cusps ex: pisces rules 6th house, the house of virgo in astrology. Symbolically, libra wants to balance out the houses by blending the energies with the sister signs together, by with what is (house number) and how it’s done (sign on each house cusp), for balanceee !!

*Moon conjunction uranus TRANSITSS can cause literal earthquakes on earth, shocking news or something shocking or groundbreaking will happen that day either around the world and in personal, daily life. Ex: this transit happened on halloween during the blue moon, so basically no one ever trick or treats in my neighborhood, like barely anyone comes out i mean, it’s always 5 houses apart where people typically hand out candy, some people are just hanging out, we always run out of houses to go to since it’s not very active, but this year EVERYONE was out trick or treating it was so crazy to see so many people out, it was quite literally shocking because that actually never happens also there’s a whole pandemic going on too lmaooo.

[wlfkssd]

Midnight Caller

based on the prompt ‘hvithelred + midnight / early morning hugs’ sent in by @issadoragreen <3

summary : after a rough week, and with hvitserk not answering his calls, aethelred (thel) visits the lothbrok house at midnight to see him.

warnings : smoking, brief mention of ragnar yelling at hvitserk, mentions of divorce and a bad impression of gimli from lotr. a little bit of angst, not much though.

pairing : hvitserk x aethelred. small appearances from alfred, rollo, ubbe. as well as a tiny flirtation between ubbe and thel. 

words : 2,380.

notes : aethelred is referred to as thel a lot in this fic. just because it’s a little more modern.

The dial tone continues in its monotony and Thel shakes his head, lowering the phone from his ear before he hangs it up again. He stares at the screen and his brows instinctively pull close and tight.

Why aren't you picking up, Hvitserk?

"Any luck?" Alfred, his younger brother, stands in the doorway. He looks anxious; hands buried so deep into the single, long pocket of the oversized, borrowed hoodie to keep him from picking at his fingers in worry.

"No. It just keeps ringing." Thel's defeated and to pretend otherwise would be idiotic. Perhaps Hvitserk doesn't want to talk to him. Perhaps he doesn't want to see him anymore. "I should go over there and see if he's alright."

"At this time of night? What would mum say?"

That's hardly a threat and they both know it. Life at home hasn't always been plain sailing, especially with Alfred's illness and the fact that it's clear he's the favourite. But Thel doesn't mind. Quite the contrary; sometimes that leaves him free to do just about whatever he likes without much fear of repercussions.

Still, this? Maybe his brother is right. It's no time to be showing up unannounced.

"You're right, Alfie." That garners a smile from Alfred - nickname having been with him, practically since birth - and he turns to leave for his own room just as the dial tone strikes back into life.

Some seconds pass, long and unnecessary in Thel's opinion. He can only imagine what the excuse will be.

"Hello?" Ubbe's voice is quiet, softer even than usual and something about it sends a tingling jolt straight up Thel's spine. They're best friends - more like brothers, really - but some things just can't be denied.

"Is Hvitserk alright? He's not answering his phone."

There's a silence and Thel hears the heavy sigh come through loud and clear. In fact, it's far too close to the receiver for comfort.

"Our father came home." Four short words that set the scene for the whole conversation and the coming night. So easily let out and yet their weight now holds itself in the space between the two boys. "He has a way of speaking that isn't always what you would call nice."

And that's putting it lightly. In truth, Ragnar had come home after three long years of globe-trotting and demanded to know which of his sons intended to take over their family business. It was sudden and off-putting and had ruined the last of everyone's Sunday night.

He'd barely spoken to Ivar, choosing instead to focus on Ubbe and Bjørn as his successors. And why not? They are the oldest of his sons. Why wouldn't they want to inherit his empire, his wealth, his standing in Scandinavian society?

Because, for one, Ubbe had told him, he was still in school and wanted very much to become something other than what had come before him. Bjørn had said much the same; giving details that he was going into business with their uncle Floki for a while.

That left Hvitserk and Sigurd and being faced with a father he hadn't seen for years, yelling into his face and asking if he's man enough, wasn't the ideal reunion.

It also explains exactly why none of the brothers have been at school for the past two days. Now Thel understands and his heart eases off its hammering just a little.

"Do you think Hvitserk would see me, if I came over there?"

For the first time in the conversation, Ubbe seems to relax. The sigh slips into something more amused and he hums, lowly. "I think so, yes. It's a shame you like him so much. I could use someone like you right now. Calling at midnight and asking to come over, just to see me."

Shame indeed. Were it not for the fact of Ubbe's younger brother's charm, Thel might have eventually fallen out of friendship and into love with him, instead. But both know it's not to be and there's a moment of comfortable silence.

"I'm on my way, then."

They hang up and Thel takes a deep breath, relieved that the sudden silence isn't anything he's done.

Dressing warmly, Thel makes his way down the stairs and out into the night with a single thought; how can he cheer up his boyfriend?

Several different ideas run through his mind as he walks the short distance from one house to the other. He could pick a flower from each of the gardens on the way and present them to Hvitserk. He could jog to the 24-hour corner shop and buy him some sweets or a large bag of popcorn. Or he could just bring himself and the space between his waiting arms that so perfectly encompasses the one he's chosen to show and give his heart to.

That sounds about right. Sappy as it is.

Coming to the Lothbrok house, Thel slows and considers his ways of entrance.

Knocking on the front door is definitely out. That's far too obvious, isn't it? Plus, he doesn't know who might be sleeping. There is a light on in the living room but the windows blinds are all the way down and disturbing whoever is inside might not end well. Especially if it's Ragnar.

As he's standing there, looking at the house, a throat clears and sends him almost out of his skin.

"Staring won't get you anywhere." Flame of a lighter flickers into life and, for a few seconds, the identity of the voice shows itself. Then it's gone. Thel stands his ground, though, relief filling his veins now instead of fear.

"And scaring the shit out of teenagers won't get you anywhere, either."

Tongue kisses teeth in a gesture of disappointment at the language and Rollo stands up, causing the lamp above the side door to come on, illuminating him. The sterile shade reminds Thel of a hospital.

"What are you doing here, Aethelred?" Rollo asks on the exhale of his cigarette, smoke blown in a steady stream as his eyes focus on the boy before him. "It's a little late for studying, isn't it?" His expression holds so much knowing.

"I'm here to see Hvitserk." And that's all the explanation he's going to give.

"So it's true then? The two of you-" Rollo cuts himself off as he takes another drag on the cigarette, which now looks as though it's due to be snubbed out any moment. He holds in the smoke to delay but lets it out as he comes closer, towering over Thel the way one does when he should be feared.

Flicking away the cigarette gives a single notion.

Threat.

Instead though, it's an embrace that passes between them. A hefty one in which Thel is lifted quite literally off of his feet. And a hearty laugh bellows uncaring from Rollo's chest, still rumbling as he lets go and claps both hands to the teen's shoulders, looking him over.

"You're both terrible at hiding things, you know. Anyone with eyes can see your affection for each other." Maybe in the dark it's easier for him to say things like this; the veil of night covering all manner of distress at discussing affairs of the heart. Lagertha and Siggy have both torn him apart in their own ways but love spreads just as much as anything else. "Now," he sniffs and clears his throat, squeezing one of Thel's shoulders. "Do you need help getting into his window?"

"What?" What, indeed. Thel blinks up at Rollo, brows coming together as they had earlier over the screen of his mobile phone. "I was going to use the front door." He lies and hopes it's convincing.

It isn't.

"Nonsense. You English need to have more adventure." Rollo observes, all the while leading Thel towards the overhang beneath Hvitserk's bedroom window.

They come to stand, looking up at it together. From on the ground, it doesn't seem too daunting but Thel isn't keen on breaking a bone when he's got a big game at the end of the week.

"You expect me to climb up there?" Thel shakes his head, wishing he had asked Ubbe to wait up and let him in. Better than risking life and limb for the sake of adventure. In fact, he's sure Hvitserk would prefer he arrive in once piece and upset Ragnar than show up and immediately have to spend the next day and a half in the hospital with him because he fell.

"Come on. I'll help you."

Bending at the knees, Rollo widens his stance and lays his hands palms up in front of him, interlocking his fingers. He gestures for Thel to come closer with a jerk of his chin. Silently his eyes say he'll never forgive Thel if he doesn't find the courage to at least try it.

"Oh, fine. Fine." Thel huffs and, putting one hand firmly on Rollo's shoulder, he lifts a foot and places it into the waiting hands. One swift motion sees him launched up and onto the overhang. No problem whatsoever.

Rollo gives him a thumbs up for good luck and disappears, presumably to smoke some more.

Then it's just a glass pane that separates him from the one he loves. It feels strange to think, let alone to say, especially given that each of them is so young but, apparently, when you know, you know. And he knows.

Crawling on his hands and knees, uncaring as to the scuff to his black jeans, Thel gets close enough to see his own breath fog up the window and he pauses to peer inside. One hand cups over his eyes, blocking out the light of a nearby streetlamp.

Hvitserk is on his bed, curled around his blanket. One leg on top, one beneath. He wears only a pair of bottoms - Thel's, he notices. They're a loose fit and black and the pull strings are frayed from years of play and fretting. They're old but, somehow, Hvitserk makes them new. He makes everything new; vibrant.

The catch is unlocked so he doesn't even have to struggle with it before he's pushing up the window and slipping through. Hvitserk would say he's like Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible but that's difficult to believe.

Cool air moves the curtains and breathes life into what is otherwise a morbidly still room. Hvitserk's mobile phone lays dormant on his bed, placed in the concave created by his rounded position. As though he just watched Thel calling and calling and chose to ignore it.

No.

Maybe he couldn't bring himself to answer. Shock does strange things to people. Aethelred's own parents almost divorced when his father found out Alfred wasn't his. But they worked through things, eventually. So he's all-too-aware of just how debilitating that emotion can be.

"Hvitserk?" Thel whispers into the dark. It's the softest he's ever spoken and thinks, perhaps, he didn't actually make any sound at all. So, he tries again, not wanting to startle Hvitserk too much if he wakes.

"Mmm?" The noise is an obvious sign of exhaustion and Hvitserk doesn't turn over, immediately. He clearly thinks it's one of his brothers; come to disturb what little sleep he's managed these past few days. "What is it, Ubbe?"

Chancing the gesture, Thel sits on the side of the bed and tentatively lowers a hand onto Hvitserk's exposed shoulder. "It isn't Ubbe. It's me."

"Hello... me." For the first time in days, Hvitserk smiles. His eyes are still closed but that simple touch to his shoulder - naked skin prickling at it - is enough to lift his spirits from even the deepest of depths. "How did you-?"

"Your window was unhooked. I've told you about leaving it that way. Strangers could get in." The hand moves from bare skin to sandy braids and Thel's long fingers gently sweep through, earning him a contented sigh.

A contented sigh that precedes Hvitserk's eyes opening heavily. He blinks, adjusting to the light. "Did you climb up here?" His brows furrow at the thought and he turns over fully now, onto his back. The side of Thel's face that is visible looks to be smiling but it's hard to tell.

"Your uncle tossed me." Doing his best impression of Gimli, Thel ducks his face and laughs. It's almost silent but the moment is one of utter closeness, despite the humour, and after a minute, even that dies away, leaving nothing but the gaze of a sad boy looking into the face of the one he knows can rescue him.

Abruptly, Hvitserk embraces Aethelred's waist; not sitting fully but no longer laying as still and placid as he had been.

"I'm sorry I didn't answer you before. My father-" The very fact that Hvitserk buries his face tells them both all they need to know about the life of that conversation. It needs to be cut short.

"Ubbe told me everything. So you don't have to explain."

It isn't made clear exactly what it is Hvitserk has to do but by the way Thel directs him steadily with a hand at the back of his neck, the other having moved now from soft hair to rubbing at the space between his shoulder blades, and kisses him, it doesn't appear to be anything too taxing. Just be kissed. Even he can manage that now.

For a long moment, there's nothing in the world but them and it's blissful. All the heavy decisions in their futures and all the things they've done wrong in the past just melt into nothing. They're living for the moment.

Lips leave their tender mark on one another as Thel pulls away, briefly, nose bumping Hvitserk's, along with a touch of their foreheads to bring about the signal of parting. Not that it lasts long. Tiredly, Hvitserk shuffles further towards the wall, letting the blanket tangle itself even tighter into his legs and Thel kicks off his shoes and strips down to his shorts.

As they get comfortable, skin presses against bed-warmed skin; the soft, downy hair of Thel's soft tummy tickling the small of Hvitserk's back. Naturally, a groping hand reaches and finds an arm to pull over and a hand to hold in the darkness. The same lips, too, now part and breathe as one, chests rising and falling together.

"Will you stay until I fall asleep?" The question comes around a yawn and Hvitserk hugs Thel closer to him, looking back briefly and offering himself up for another kiss. Aethelred gives it, freely, leaning in for a series of small, affectionate pecks. Each brings about a satisfied sigh.

"I will stay until you fall asleep."

[skinks]

hi!!! what are your favourite movies? like actually good ones but also any trashy comfort movies? is IT (2017) one of them?

Hello!! IT (2017) IS ABSOLUTELY ONE OF THEM oh man, thank you for this, I love talking about movies!!!! This is possibly the most difficult question you could have asked me. Apologies for how absolutely off the rails this got, I just... love movies so much lmao

I’ve said this before, but opening night of IT ch1 was the best cinema experience I’ve ever had, I’m so glad I got to see it with a fully packed audience who were all laughing and screaming together the whole way through. I’m a huge fan of... everything ch1 was doing, the 80s nostalgia, the summer-coming-of-age themes, the solid ghost train funhouse JOY of the Pennywise performance and scares, the washed-out cinematography, the tiny background details to make everything that much more eerie, the kids’ ACTING?!

Like, a lot of the time I find child actors can be really awkward and stilted to watch, but I remember leaving the cinema really impressed by JDG and Sophia Lillis in particular. I liked that they were all allowed to be little shitheads with potty mouths, it felt like a callback to 80s movies like The Lost Boys or Stand By Me. The whole thing worked to make me really care about what happened to the kids (even if I do still have issues with how they handled Mike. I understand even ch1 had limitations with juggling so many characters, but still). I saw it another 2 times in the cinema and have rewatched it at least, I dunno, 7-10 more times since then?

Add to all of that the retroactive CANON R+E baby pining subplot? I just love it, as if that wasn’t obvious by now given my Whole Blog. It’s a really special movie to me!

Anyway!! Ok, the main handful of movies I rewatch all the fucking time are:

Back to the Future, The Lost Boys, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Jaws, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Ocean’s 11, POTC 1, The Dark Knight, Inception, Die Hard, LOTR trilogy, Snatch, The Nice Guys, Logan Lucky, Mad Max Fury Road, Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Billy Elliot, Dirty Dancing, Tomb Raider (2018)...

Those are the easily consumable ones that I’ve seen so many times I don’t really have to concentrate or think about them, but I really love them and unfortunately often KEEP rewatching them instead of new stuff. It would take too long to go into why I love all these movies so much because I could write the same amount as I already did for ITCH1, and everyone already knows why those movies are good, so, lol.

I think I’m gonna have to subdivide and categorise this whole post because there are too many separate criteria for... goOD MOVIES, AUUHH 😩

Okay so first off, HORROR MOVIES? I’m especially in love with Re-Animator (1985) and its sequel Bride of Re-Animator, they’re such good examples of camp and batshit 80s practical effects, and also EXTREMELY funny. I’m actually just gonna post my list of my fave horror movies that I do actually keep on my phone at all times lmao. These are in no particular order:

Wholeheartedly recommend every one of these. I’ve never been so scared in my life as I was watching Hereditary in the cinema, hoo boy. Mother! by Aronofsky is one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had (and I actually saw it on the same day I saw IT ch1 for the first time!! That was a fun day)

Psycho (1960) and The Fly from 1986 should also be on there but I couldn’t fit them in the screenshot.

I’m a HUGE fan of a ton of martial arts movies too, like Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer, Ip Man, The Raid movies, John Wick 3 is my fave of the trilogy, Drive from 1997 with Mark Dacascos is incredible, SPL 2, Ong-Bak, Operation Condor, Project A, Iron Monkey, and Zatoichi (2003) are some favourites.

My favourite Tarantino is Reservoir Dogs, fave Coen brothers are Raising Arizona, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and O Brother Where Art Thou. Love some old-timey colour correction and weird offbeat dialogue. I also love Goodfellas!!! And Donnie Brasco! And The Firm, I’m so easy for any good crime/law/gangster/heist procedural like that, especially if they’re from the 80s or 90s in a super dated way.

Fave Disney movie is Tarzan, favourite Ghibli movies are Spirited Away and Lupin III. I remember watching Spirited Away during a thunderstorm one time and it being.... god! Transcendent! Favourite Pixar movie is The Incredibles (the first one. ALSO the documentary “The Pixar Story” is great and well worth a watch, it’s very comforting for some reason) and my favourite Dreamworks movies are HTTYD1 and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron.

I tend to watch more anime movies than tv shows, so stuff like Akira, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Summer Wars, Journey to Agartha, and my ultimate fave anime is Sword of the Stranger (2008). The climactic fight in that movie is fucking stunning and should be counted in “bests fights” lists right alongside anything live action

Also if we’re talking animated movies another hearty favourite is Rango, and a Belgian stop-motion (which at one time I considered my favourite movie ever) called Panique Au Village (2009) which is one of the funniest movies ever made imo.

As for TRASHY movies, I’m not sure if that’s the right word for how I feel about these ones but.. dumb/silly/slightly guilty pleasure movies? Ones that I feel need some kind of justification lmfao

Troy - something u must know about me is that I’m a giant slut for the Assassin’s Creed franchise, so if a movie smashes historical and mythological nonsense together with fun costumes and sword fights, I’m gonna enjoy myself. Even if they should have made Achilles and Patroclus gay. Other movies in this vein are King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, and Immortals (2011)

Gods of Egypt - I know all the reasons this movie is whitewashed bullshit. But it was already bullshit with giant Anubis mecha and giant snakes and bad acting and ridiculous CGI and frankly I had a blast at the cinema (my friend who I forced to come with me did not have a blast. Sorry H***)

Avatar - yes, the one with the big blue people. This movie gets a lot of flack nowadays but I really do enjoy it just for the spectacle. The full CGI world technology was so new at the time and I love to wallow in the visuals and daydream about riding a cool dragon around in the jungle

George of the Jungle - I’ll defend this movie to the death ok this movie shaped me as a person, it is fucking hilarious and Brendan Fraser is the himbo to end all himbos. It’s perfect. The song Dela is perfect. I still want to write a reddie AU about it. It’s one of the best movies ever made and I’m not being ironic

Set It Up - I KNOW this is a dumb Netflix original romcom but consider this; it was funny and the leads had great chemistry. I got butterflies. I once watched it and then literally immediately set it back to the start so I could watch it again

The Brady Bunch Movie - when people talk about great satires or parodies you will see them bring up the same movies over and over again, Blazing Saddles, This Is Spinal Tap etc, but they never talk about The Brady Bunch Movie from 1995 for some reason, which they should. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and every time i watch it somehow it gets funnier

Some more general favourites that I do still love but don’t rewatch as often, and don’t wanna go into more detail about are:

Moon (2009), Crna Mačka Beli Mačor, The Sixth Sense, Parasite, The Handmaiden, Tremors, Wet Hot American Summer, Tucker and Dale vs Evil, What We Do In The Shadows, Hunt For the Wilderpeople, The Secret of My Success (I love kitschy 80s movies, is that obvious by now), The Green Mile, When Harry Met Sally, Rear Window, The Odd Couple, Breaking Away, Pan’s Labyrinth, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Eagle, Gladiator, The Artist, The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec, Call Me By Your Name, Master and Commander, Pacific Rim, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Legend (1985), Emma. (2020), Flash Gordon, Trolljegeren, Hross í Oss, Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America, WarGames, District 9, Ajeossi (2010), Tracks (2013), Sightseers, Mud (2012), Pitch Black, Four Lions, Shaun of the Dead, Starship Troopers, The Truman Show, Withnail & I....... Jesus Christ ok I need to stop

NOTABLE EXTREME FAVOURITES that I didn’t include in the regular rewatch list because they’re too heavy/not as well known/require more attention.:

Thin Red Line (1998), Badlands (1973) both dir. Terrence Malick

Malick’s brand of dreamy impressionistic filmmaking is something I find really appealing, both of these movies are gorgeous and unusual and poignant and, in the case of Thin Red Line at least, have a lot of things to say about a lot of rough subjects. I don’t totally understand all those things sometimes, but a theme with a lot of my favourite movies is that I’ll be more likely to love something long-term if it raises unanswered questions, or is surreal/esoteric etc. Plus the cinematography is incredible, and I wish there was a way to get Jim Caviezel’s narration from The Thin Red Line as an audiobook because it’s very poetic and soothing.

Let the Bullets Fly (2010) dir. Jiang Wen

This movie is WILD, it’s so much fun. It’s sprawling and intricate and epic and smart and really fucking funny, it! Has! Everything! A gang of very tolerant outlaws!! Jiang Wen’s beautiful broad chest!!! Chow Yun Fat absolutely DECIMATING the scenery, and the two of them outsmarting each other in order to gain control of a small Chinese town!!! Plus it’s long, but it packs so much nonsense and intrigue that it goes by really fast. Wow what a flick

A Field in England (2013) dir. Ben Wheatley

I know I included this in my horror list but aaaaahhh ahhhh Wheatley is one of my favourite directors (he also made Sightseers, and is directing the Tomb Raider sequel which makes me absolutely rabid.) This is a surreal black-and-white psychological horror black comedy set in the English Civil War about some deserters who may or may not meet the Devil in a field. People eat mushrooms. It’s bonkers. I love being blasted in the face with imagery that I don’t understand

Mandy (2018) dir. Panos Cosmatos

Speaking of being blasted in the face!!!!! This movie... I saw it in the cinema and I can’t even begin to explain the experience, but I’ll try. My favourite review site described it like this:

“...somewhere between a prog album cover come to life and a metal album cover come to life, and subscribes to both genre's artistic tendency towards maximalism: what it ends up being is basically naught else but two glorious hours of being pounded by bold colors...”

So, prog and metal are my two favourite genres of music. This movie opens with the quote “When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead.” and then a King Crimson song, it is SURREAL to the nth degree, it’s violent and bizarre and Nic Cage forges a giant silver axe to destroy demonic bikers and there is a CHAINSAW DUEL. A galaxy swirls above a quarry. Multiple animated horror nightmare sequences. At one point a man says “you exude a cosmic darkness” and releases a live tiger. At another point Cage says, in a digitally deepened voice, “The psychotic drowns where the mystic swims. You’re drowning. I’m swimming.” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for two years

Paper Moon (1973) dir. Peter Bogdanovich

Really fantastic movie set in the Great Depression (and also in black & white) about a conman and a little kid who may or may not be his daughter, running cons across the Midwest. It’s beautifully shot, so sharp and sweet and the progression of their dynamic is really well done because they’re played by an IRL father and daughter. Tatum O’Neal was NINE YEARS OLD and she’s so amazing in this movie she’s actually the youngest person to win a competitive category Oscar. I keep trying to get people to watch this fbdjfjdbf it’s wonderful

Alpha (2018) dir. Albert Hughes

THIS MOVIE IS A VICTIM OF BAD MARKETING ok, the trailers made it look like some twee crappy sentimental Boy And His Dog Adventure, plus it had voiceovers in American-accented english? That’s a total disservice to one of the coolest things about this film; the fact that they got a linguist to construct an entirely original Neolithic language that all the characters speak for the entire runtime. And yes, it is eventually a Boy And His Wolf adventure, but it’s COOL and fairly brutal, and it has some really incredible cinematography. The landscapes are so strange and barren and alien, you really get the sense that this is an ancient world we no longer have any connection to. And it’s also about like, the birth of dog & human companionship sooo it’s perfect.

Free Solo (2018) dir. Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Jimmy Chin

The Free Climbing Documentary. I loved climbing as a kid, I love outdoor sports, and I love movies that elicit a physical reaction in me, whether that’s horny, scared, real laughter, overwhelming shivers, or in the case of Free Solo - HORRIBLE SWEATING TENSION. Like, I knew about Alex Honnold beforehand because of this adventure film festival I go to every year and I followed him on IG so obviously I knew he lived, but the actual climb itself was torture. My hands sweat every time I see it!! It’s incredible, such a cool look into generally what the human body can do, and more specifically, why Honnold’s psychology and life means he’s so well suited to free soloing. It’s such an exercise in getting to know an individual and get invested in them, before they attempt something very potentially fatal.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

I can’t even talk about this. When I was around 13 I snuck downstairs to watch this on TV at 11pm in secret, and my life was forever changed. I wouldn’t be who I am if I hadn’t seen Brokeback at the age I did. I seriously can’t talk about this or I’ll write an even longer essay than this already is

God’s Own Country (2017) dir. Francis Lee

The antidote to Brokeback Mountain, I’m so glad I managed to see this one in the cinema too. It makes me cry every time, as someone who’s spent years working on a cold British farm with sheep it was very realistic, which is expected since Lee grew up on a farm in Yorkshire. I love that this movie isn’t really about being closeted, but about being so emotionally repressed and self-loathing that the main character finds it so hard to accept love. Or that he deserves to be loved. The cinnamontographies.... lordt... but also the intimacy and sex scenes are fucking searing wow who hasn’t seen this movie by now. 10 stars. 20 stars!!!

Tomboy (2011) dir. Céline Sciamma

I saw this years ago but I’ve never forgotten it, it cut so deep. It’s from the director of Portrait of a Lady on Fire and it’s about a gnc kid struggling with gender and misogyny and homophobia in a really raw, scrappy way, it reminded me very much of my own... childhood... ahh the central performance is amazing for such a young age. I haven’t seen Portrait yet but I feel like if you went nuts for that, you should definitely check this out, it’s lovely.

Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly

EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS MOVIE I UNDERSTAND LESS AND LESS and that’s what I love so much about it. I love surreal movies, I love time-fuckery and stuff about altered perception etc etc and Donnie Darko scratches all my itches. I wish I could find a way to figure out an IT AU for it, because I know it would work! Somehow! Plus it’s got the subdued 80s nostalgia and I found it at an age when I was really starting to explore movies and music and the soundtrack FUCKS.

Offside (2006) dir. Jafar Panahi

I wish more people knew about this!!! It’s an Iranian film about a disparate group of women and girls who are football fans and want to watch Iran’s qualifying match for the World Cup, but women aren’t allowed into the stadium, so they all get thrown into the Stadium Jail together? They don’t know each other beforehand, but it’s about their changing relationships with each other and the guards and just, their defiance alongside hearing the match from the outside and WOW it’s so lively. Great dialogue and very funny, and such a different kind of story from anything you usually see from Hollywood.

The Fall (2006) dir. Tarsem Singh

This movie... I guess it’s the ideal. This is the platonic ideal of a film for me, it has fantasy, magical realism, glorious visuals, amazing score and costumes and production design and a really interesting, heartbreaking relationship at the core of it. I don’t know why so many of my favourite films feature incredibly raw performances by child actors but this is another one, Catinca Untaru barely knew any English and improvised so much because of that, and it’s fascinating to watch! Also the dynamic with Lee Pace is one of my favourites, where a kid forms a friendship with a guardian figure who isn’t their parent, but the guardian grows to really care for them by the end. It’s like Paper Moon in that sense. What is there to even say about this movie, it’s pure magic joy tempered and countered by genuine gutwrenching emotional conflict in the real world, it’s also ABOUT old moviemaking, in a way, and it’s stunning to look at!

Mad Max Fury Road (2015) dir. George Miller

I know I included this in my “most rewatched” section but it deserves its own thing. We all know why this movie is fucking incredible. I remember clutching my armrests in the cinema and feeling like my skeleton was being blasted back into the seat behind me and tbh that is the high I’m constantly chasing when I go to see any movie. What a fucking gift this film is

Théo et Hugo dans le Même Bateau (2016) dir. Olivier Ducastel, Jacques Martineau

I only found this movie last year and it became an instant favourite. Initially I was just curious because I’d never seen a movie with unsimulated sex before, but it’s so much more than the 18 minute gay sex club orgy it opens with. No, not more than, AS WELL AS. The orgy is important because this movie is so candid and frank about sex and HIV treatment in the modern day, it was eye-opening. Another thing that really got me is that I’d never seen a real-time film before. It’s literally an hour and a half in the lives of these two men, their intense connection and conversation and conflict in the middle of the night in Paris, with some really nice night photography and just!!! Wow!!! AMAZING CHEMISTRY between the actors. This is such a gem if you’re comfortable with explicit sexual content.

Ok. This is already over 3k but film is obviously one of my ridiculous passions and I can and do talk about it for hours. I’ve been reading magazines about it for years, listening to podcasts and reading review blogs and recently, watching video essays on YouTube because the whole process is so interesting to me and I want to learn more!!

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of valuing form over narrative. The idea that story can often come second to the deeper physical experience and emotional reaction that’s created by using ALL the elements of filmmaking and not just The Story, y’know? Whether that’s editing, shot composition, colour, the sound mix, the actors, how it should all be used to heighten the emotional state the script wants you to feel. And so, I think for a few years now this approach has been influencing the types of films I really, really love.

I think I love surreality and mind-bending magical realism in films specifically because the filmmakers have to use all those different tools to convey things that can be way too metaphysical for just... a script? I’m always chasing that physical response; if a movie can make me stop thinking “I wonder what it was like to set up that shot” and instead overwhelm that suspension of disbelief, if I can be terrified or woozy or crying for whatever reason, that’s what I’m looking for. That’s why I watch so many fuckin movies, and why I’ll always remember nights like seeing IT (2017) for giving me another favourite.

Thank you again for this question, I didn’t mean to go so overboard. Also there’s no way to do a readmore on tumblr mobile so apologies to anyone’s dashboard 😬

[ellaofoakhill]

My Thoughts on Boxes

Something has kinda been bugging me the last little while, that I like to think a lot of people can relate to. We live in a society that, generally speaking, likes putting things into boxes; we like analyzing and sorting and organizing. And there’s nothing really wrong with that in and of itself--frankly, I could stand to do a lot more of it in the more practical aspects of my life--but such a system only really works with things that easily fit into discreet categories, and the things that aren’t or can’t be easily sorted are either forced into a box where they don’t fit, or left adrift without any real place to be.

In particular, I’m talking about fiction. You have numerous genres that multiply by the day, and the age categories that stories within those genres are deemed suitable for. And don’t get me wrong, there are lots of practical reasons for those categories; they make advertising and the organization of bookstores and libraries dramatically easier, and for most stories, this system works great, with each finding the audience most likely to derive benefit from reading it.

But--again, solely my opinion here--this may have produced stories that are a lot flatter than stories written in previous eras (which had their own problems, I will NOT get into that today). By flat, I don’t mean boring, or a failure of the story. I mean that the story feels like it was changed to fit into the category it most closely matched. In the most egregious examples, I feel like things were either added to a story that did nothing for it besides make it fit its box better, or taken out that were either integral to the story or added a depth and breadth to it that improved the work overall, even if that made it harder to sort.

This makes me think of the Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch quote, “Murder your darlings”, but completely opposite to what he was getting at. The general interpretation is “Even if you like a given piece of writing/painting/sculpture/etc., if it does more bad than good for your work, you need to remove it for the sake of the art.” What I feel is happening is “You need to change your story so it fits the target demographic, no matter what it looks like at the end.” The former serves the story and its spirit; the latter sacrifices the story for... I don’t know, ease of advertising, perhaps? Certainly financial gain is involved there.

So my first argument against this jaded, greedy way of thinking runs thus. Look at the stories that are now considered classics of Western literature: look at Wuthering Heights and Pride and Prejudice; look at White Fang and Call of the Wild; look at Dracula and Frankenstein; look at The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia (no, I couldn’t resist throwing in two classic fantasy titles, and no, I won’t apologize for it). If you haven’t read these stories, you probably should. Yes, they have problems that mark them as products of their time, but every last one of them has one thing in common: none of them were written with a box in mind. We’ve thought of lotr as a fantasy staple for so long that we’ve forgotten that, prior to its popularity, fantasy as a genre wasn’t really a thing. There were fairy-tales, yes, and stories with fantastical elements, but a genre of story with precise conventions? Not really.

Let’s zoom in on Tolkien’s work, for a moment. Look at his world and its origins, and it draws heavy inspiration from Old English and Scandinavian myths and legends. Look at his characters, in particular his four hobbits, and he drew from his love of the English countryside, his respect for the common working man (Sam, the gardener, literally carries Frodo, the wellbred young gentleman, on his shoulders in the final leg of their gruelling journey to the Cracks of Doom), and his horrific experiences in the First World War. Hilariously enough, a big part of the reason he wrote the stories was as a self-justification for his indulgence in and lifelong love affair with language invention (look at the huge appendices at the back of The Return of the King and tell me I’m lying!). Read his work and any and all interviews with him, and a “genre box” seems clearly to have never crossed his mind.

Putting aside the genre box for a moment, let’s talk age categories. The Hobbit was a story he invented for his children, and it does show. Look at the Lord of the Rings, and it is clearly at a higher level of reading comprehension, and written for a more mature audience; there’s less silliness, though he keeps the wonder at this wild, magical world. But where to put it? The hobbits run a spectrum from basically teenagers (Pippin) to almost middle age (Frodo is in his fifties when he embarks on his journey to Rivendell), yet they’re clearly his protagonists, though we also see some narration revolving around Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli, all of whom are adults, though the latter two are somewhat younger for their respective races, whereas Aragorn is in his eighties (this being offset somewhat by the fact that he lives to over two hundred, but I digress...). We’re told today (falsely; VERY falsely) that the main character(s) should match the age of their target audience. Where does lotr fit, then, in terms of age category?

The answer you’re looking for is: not really very well anywhere; at least, not according to modern convention. As for my personal experience, I could and did read both The Lord of the Rings and The Silmarillion at age thirteen. I consider myself a fairly intelligent young man, but I was varying degrees of lost when I read those. When I re-read them as an adult I was fine, but that isn’t to imply that teens shouldn’t be reading lotr, far from it. There’s nothing in them content-wise one wouldn’t reasonably expect a teenager to handle, and there’s a lot of good, powerful story and commentary in there that’s relevant to this day.

My point is, the age category doesn’t really matter. If I may shamelessly plug my own work for a moment, when I was first writing tftem, and even as I’m editing and publishing it now, I wondered and still wonder about this age category business. There is nothing in these stories I’d consider inappropriate for kids, and anyone above the age of about 8, with perhaps a slight stretch to their vocabulary, could comfortably read every story beginning to end. Further complicating matters, my beta readers ranged from 8 to almost 80, and most of the spectrum in between. They all liked it; whether they liked it for the same reasons is moot.

Which leads me into my second argument against boxing and categorizing stories. The boxes aren’t very reliable. If I may change media for a moment, cultural convention says, as an adult, there is only a narrow sleazy strip of cartoon entertainment I should be watching and enjoying. That tiny slice of the cartoon pie is the only slice I avoid like the plague. Yes, there are stories that don’t appeal to me because they’re too simplistic, or are problematic in ways that I find repellent, or just aren’t executed very well, but aside from things aimed at toddlers and the aforementioned “adult” cartoons, any cartoon is fair game. Give me an interesting concept, or a fascinating character, or hell just give me a good laugh or line of dialogue or beautiful fight scene, and I’ll give it a try.

My point is (yes I had one, and no, believe it or not I didn’t forget it), don’t write or draw or create with a box in mind. You will murder the spirit of your darlings. The box does not exist to define what you, the writer, are allowed to do, or what you should do. At best, the box exists in hindsight, once the work is done, to tell your prospective audience whether your story was written for them. And even then, lots of fantastic stories don’t sit well in boxes. Some of them actively rip the boxes to pieces. Lotr is a story that transcends boxes, and as a result has many layers and rabbit-holes and nuances that you can pick up when you’re ready to appreciate them, however old you are. In many ways, it’s ageless.

I didn’t write tftem to emulate Tolkien, nor even as an homage to him, or C.S. Lewis, or anyone else. But I did want to write a similarly ageless story, a story that could be read and appreciated a hundred years from now, by an audience of eight-year-olds or octogenarians. Why did we ever start moving away from stories like this? They were the foundation of stories for as long as stories have existed on Earth. People are still reading and marvelling at The Epic of Bloody Gilgamesh!

Tl;dr: don’t try to force your stories into boxes; they suffocate. Write what you enjoy writing; chances are it’ll live longer.

[recurring-polynya]

Fanfic Weekly Roundup 9/14/2020:

Okay, it’s been, like, 2 months since I did one of these, and I apologize for that, but also, August was like... really dry at the old fanfic well? And I’ve been working my ass off for the last three week (at... what, exactly, Polynya? It is hard to say) Anyway, here’s some fanfics that I liked. Hopefully, it won’t take another 2 months before we have another.

I think I missed this one when it first came out (otherwise, it would have made the last roundup... I write these by going back through my AO3 history), but The Bet, by @lethanwolf was really cute! It was by an author who doesn’t usually go for RenRuki, but wrote it for a friend, and I really respect stretching like that, and they did a great job!

I was here first by tasteoftheforbidden is a Byakuya/Soi Fon story and I cannot imagine why I clicked on it in the first place, but it was really cute??? Like, at first they are really grumpy, and then they are like, “ah, I respect what a grump you are” and then they eat snacks. It worked. I was delighted by it, perhaps you will be as well.

Here We Meet Again by @marlasinger93-blog is just getting started, but the first chapter is really, really cute! It’s a Rukia and Renji awkwardly reconnecting after the Soul Society Arc, which I will openly admit I have an endless appetite for. I helped translate it, and I hope there will be more eventually!

I feel like I mentioned Captivate, by before @kissedbynightshade, but I couldn’t find it, so I will mention it now! It’s a little bit high concept-- it’s a modern AU where Izuru has the power to jump back in time-- usually a few minutes-- to prevent tragedy from occurring. However, after Rangiku is killed, he jumps all the way back to his teenhood, where he has the possibility to prevent deaths of Renji, Momo, and Shuuhei. It’s not actually very hard to follow, and it is an amazing mood piece. Just really chewy, poetic, melancholy Izuru (who is trans in this story; it is just sort of slid in there very naturally and it works), with a heavy dose of mystery. It is, as they say, my jam.

Is it time for the @kazeshini-s section of the roundup? We have two this time!:

Personal Questions features Orihime digging into those burning questions about how shinigami function that we all want the answer to.

Cut a Deal (We’re All Gonna Die Anyway) is Advance Team Arc fic about Orihime going to Soul Society to train with Rukia and I admit I requested it and I don’t care it was SO GOOD. Features both Orihime & Renji bonding AND Orihime & Rukia bonding, what more could you ask for???

These two are not on AO3, but do not sleep on this one where Chad Makes Renji a Burrito or this Karakura Kids Cuddle Puddle.

time in a bottle by atlntyda is a fairly short, Orihime introspection piece, but I really liked it!

Somebody to Someone by @jkrobertson Excuse me, did someone say lieutenant friendship fic? This is my love language.

Squad 4's Pregnancy Guide for the Unwed Shinigami  by manonlechat is a very silly fic where Gin is a gremlin and Matsumoto is like “well, this might as well happen.” I got a good laugh out of it.

In Between Days by @spyder-m Renji birthday fic! Renji birthday fic! Renji reflects on 40 years worth of birthdays, with and without Rukia.

the one to someone by @shamelessllamapeanutthing After the Soul Society Arc, Rukia chews over who she wants to be and who she wants to be with. Ugh, I loved this one. Great character work on Rukia, and very good and sexy banter with Renji. I am extremely bad at writing sexual tension, and I am jealous of the chemistry here. (I am very good at two-halves-of-one-idiot, and I am thankful for that, but every once in a while, it would be nice...sigh)

Icy Summits by Chaotic Dreamer was a very cute story about Renji and Rukia going on a mission as lieutenants together, shortly after they start dating. What I liked about this, is that the tension of the story is based on them both trying to do what they think is best, and they talk it out in a really healthy way, and that shit clears my pores and whitens my teeth.

Anchor and Vulnerable by squeaker_deaker. Renruki family drabbles. Real, actual-100-words drabbles. I could never. How.

We all know how I feel about ByaRen fic-- I don’t care for the pairing very extremely specific reasons, but I like both characters so much that I will occasionally read one if I think the characterization is gonna be real good (shippers be doin’ characterization, I said it). Anyway, I saw the tags “scenery porn” and “samurai do samurai things” on Heart Tangled by Grizmelder (there is a grizmelder on Tumblr who I think might be the same person, but I am afraid to tag them in case they aren’t although I just followed them because as I was scrolling thru their blog, I found both Brendan Frasier content and the LOTR Volvo meme, so obvs they are cool and I really hope they don’t click on my blog and say “who is this anime weirdo?”). Anyway, look, if you are a Period Drama Slut like me, you gotta read this. Friends, I shipped it.  It’s an AU, of course, and it somehow manages to circumvent all my canon ByaRen hangups and I don’t know who I am any more. It’s just... costumes and hair and archery and poetry and longing and sexiness. The latest chapter was epistolary. Oh, right, there is actual porn in it also, you have been warned. (also period-accurate homophobia and suicide refs, it’s a pretty serious and heart-wrenching story)

I know I am always on here, shilling The Thin Red Line. The last few chapters were absolute fire, and it was absolutely the high point of my week when a new one went up. The author, who is A_Fine_Piece on AO3 and Crimson Bttrfly on ff.net, recently announced she is discontinuing it after she got some harsh comments, and also deleted her Tumblr. I am absolutely devastated by this. She wasn’t someone I knew super-well, but we responded to each other’s comments and I really liked her. This was actually the second time this week I heard about someone getting negative fanfic comments, and all I’ll say about that is, if you’re reading a fanfic and you hate everything about it, why don’t you give yourself the gift of closing the tab and not saying anything at all? I can’t even imagine what someone could criticize about this fic, it is so well-crafted and beautifully written. I am so, so mad about this. Please leave a kind comment for an author you love this week, if you can. Writing fanfic is pretty thankless compared to the amount of effort that goes into it, we gotta protect and cherish our authors (and artists, too, for that matter!). My poor, weak heart cannot take any more of my faves quitting.

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 14 - watching notes

Little note on the last ep: I love how everyone finds wwx in his inner robe absolutely 🔥🔥🔥 I mean, I agree! but it's just one less layer! It's still covering his entire body! 😂 but still, it's somehow the hottest shit any of us have ever seen :D

So, off to ep 14 *bangs head to opening melody*

He put the headband back on because he fears that lwj is nervous without it 🥺🥺🥺

How can they be so soft with each other???

And lwj's almost-smile :')

Can't write much about the arrow picking except that I honestly love how this scene is shot. The lightening, the music, the sound of them working. It all works brilliantly to build up the tension

Wait? Was that weird lightening that lwj shot into wwx head something to let them communicate by thought? The potential! 😲 My mind immediately went to thought-sharing-smut fix but then I remembered that there might even be hope for that in canon!! 😱 (or at least, some version of canon)

That's vaguely disgusting (The inside of the shell, I mean)

I'm surprised the turtle doesn't notice that there is someone walking around inside her shell

So wait ... what? There is a sword there which traps the turtle. Meaning, someone has been there before and maybe purposefully trapped it there, meaning this whole excursion was completely unnecessary. They could have just left it there and it would never have bothered anyone outside that cave. Then again, Wen chao doesn't strik me as someone to think such things through ...

Quickly, Wei Wuxian! Stab the diary with its tooth! ... wait, wrong fandom

Maybe it's not though ... there's very horcrux-like black goo coming out of the sword 😳

Tf is happening to wwx? He's hurting 🥺

Now he's... not. And he's somehow controlling the black mist and the swords ... I'm confused. Is this where the "demonic cultivation" comes in

Worried lwj is my new favourite thing on this show

Why is there random fighting in the throne room of the wen sect???

Wwx looks mildly traumatised :(

Oh wow ... I'm continuously in awe of the music choices. During this talk, you can hear the main theme (wangxian's theme, I think) in the background. But for the first time, it's played on deep, melancholic cellos. That alone gave me chills! Just, endless kudos to whoever was in charge of the soundtrack for this show!

Apparently, worried lwj is also wwx's favourite thing :')

Seriously wwx!!! He is helping you and NOW you decide to throw the "boring" back at him??

Are these two idiots allergic against genuine, heartfelt moments???

Oh god, no I take it back immediately!!!!

"Can you sing a song for me?" 😭

Hughn ... you don't understand!

There's NO trope I love more than one part of a couple singing to the other (maybe it's because that's how I like to show love. Sorry, tmi)

I'm weak guys ... 😭😭😭

He's doing it .... OMG HE'S DOING IT! and his voice is so nice and deep and ...

Okay ...line break ... I'm actually crying. I legitimately have tears running down my face

I just watched this sequence three times and I couldn't type while I watched because I COULDN'T MISS THIS!

Also I'm crying. It was hard to see anything

Just ...

...

THEY DID THAT

They did a straight up compilation of their love so far

And the song! THE SONG!! THE SONG!!!

I had suspected so before, but it's actually their love theme

And ... hugh ... lan wangji sang it ... for wei Wuxian

Apart from how f*cking meta that is, that's just... the most romantic thing you can do for mesomeone (have I mentioned that I'm weak for this ...)

And and and the compilation ...

They really know how to play a fandom, right? Like, they know

I'm speechless...

Just the fact that they do this and then they have to pretend that nope, this is completely straight, nothing to see here is absolutely bewildering to me

Hugh ... I need to calm down... I'll watch it a third time

The lantern scene was there, tooooooo!!! 😭😭😭

No, no I'm concentrating again

"What's the name of the song?" What's the name??? What is it?

(If you know, please don't tell me! I just ask these questions to get my feelings out, not because I genuinely want to know spoilers ;))

They got out. I'm almost sad. With how things were going, a few hours more in that cave and they probably would have straight up cuddled :D

Jiang Cheng allows himself to show 1, ONE second of genuin concern for his brother, before he starts acting all tough again 🤦‍♀️ *sigh*

Noooo, why did lan wanji leave??? :(

Okay, that's a good reason

Yay! They finally decided to do something about the Wen clan :D

God I love Lotus Cove :)

Again, this reminds me so much of lotr and particularly the elves. The way the camera pulled from a light background to wwx, just waking up in bed after being injured ... the only thing missing was Elrond's head floating above him :D

Woahwoahwoah, hold a second. I had to go back and pause ... is that two men kissing on the bed frame??? Is this the show's way of telling us "yes they kissed, no we couldn't show you. Here, have some heavy-handed subtext so you won't miss it"

It's senior sister :,)

And even Jiang Cheng is caring eith him, bringing him soup ... I have feelings!

And now the whole family is here *sniff*

Okay ... f*ck. I see. Jiang Cheng did so mich, wwx even tries to pull attention to it and their father/uncle still only pays attention to wwx :/

Argh, I forgot that there's still one more member to this family 🤦‍♀️

Oh f*ck her!

Just ... ugh ... that's all I'm saying about that

wwx and jiang Cheng! 😭 - they're both such emotionally constipated idiots (especially jc), but this heart to heart felt so real, you know? Like it could happen between any two brothers in their situation :')

And honestly, it's so tragic. Both of them are definitely NOT at fault for their situation, yet it always hangs over their relationship. I hate it when,in a story, the parents' baggage is transferred to their children, mostly because that's sadly how it goes most of the time

Episode finished... Going back to the song part, so I feel good again :D

These past two episodes where ... hagh ... heaven for my hurt/comfort-loving heart 🥰

And in general, I think, this one was my favourite so far!

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony (please excuse my typos, btw. I'm sure there are many) 😅

[asterekmess]

S3A - E3

Hiya, back with another episode of the rewatch. I am...not looking forward to this episode. *deep breath* here we go.

Read More’s save sanity

Hey, so I know this is a really heavy first bullet point...but isn’t anybody else uncomfortable with the image of a black boy running around out of his mind with fury and bloodlust and going after little...white kids? Am I reading too much into this? I know Cora’s running around too. I just...whatever, I’m just gonna keep my mouth shut.

Straight from way too heavy to way too light. So that girl dropped a big jar of fireflies, but they say that fireflies that actually glow aren’t native to California, which would mean these are part of the whole magic thing going on, and at the end of the whole firefly thing they get rid of all the fireflies. So...what if someone finds that jar and opens it?

...nevermind the jar opened up somehow...

Okay, listen, I have a petty and biased hatred for this moment with Scott. Like...is it so hard to say, “I had to get the kids he was chasing away from him?” It’s not like they don’t have time..they just stand there in silence for a while. I also hate the savior pose he strikes there with the kids clinging to him. Like, I get that it’s a very common trope. I still hate it. I use the anti-scott tag for a reason, let me be salty.

why te fuck does Scott FLOAT in the intro?

Lydia has seriously emptied an entire bottle of ibuprofen? She should be dead. Or at least at a hospital. She’s too smart not to know how dangerous it is to take ibuprofen (even the recommended dosage) for too long at a time.

Lydia...Lydia knows about werewolves now. Did no one tell her about this whole escape plan for the betas? She could’ve helped.

Cue the shitty SFX running. Y’all look ridiculous.

Man, come on. Are you seriously telling me that Derek never played hide and seek with his siblings? Like, they’re werewolves for fuck’s sake. Derek never did fake chases through the woods? He tracked PETER for christ’s sake, all the way across town. He was like yards behind him before he got shot that one time.

This show relies a lot on character’s losing time and just finding themselves places. Jackson losing time, Lydia losing time. Lydia losing time again, but in a new way. Later, it’ll be Stiles losing time. I’m just saying, it happens a lot.

It’s fucking august in California. Does it actually get that cold? Poor Lydia’s nose is always red cus she gets forced to wander around in the dark and freezing. I can see her goosebumps when she kneels next to the pool.

I know it’s gotta be hell on her voice, but I think it’s so interesting the way Lydia screams and how it has to jump around the chords before hitting that one note. I don’t know why I find that so interesting. Guess it just reminds me of a wolf howl. Seriously, look ‘em up. Weirdly similar. GO  Holland!

What do you mean the last memory that she had of her mother, Scott? You should’ve told her RIGHT THEN. Right off the bat. There was TONS of time between her getting bit and when she died. You should’ve told Allison right away. Fuck you, you had all of spring break!

god fucking damn it now I’m crying again. Erica, sweetie...Derek honey...

I’m trying to get past the tears to enjoy this romancey stuff, with the candles and the lil lamps, and the LOTR references. I’m really trying.

This is totally not what I should be thinking about while watching the two of them make out, but like, so does Caitlin not go to their school? She just sort of appears a couple times, but Stiles doesn’t seem to know her. Maybe she went to the same school as Heather?

don’t like bugs don’t like bugs ew ew ew ew

Hi cora!

Isaac! You’re somehow feeling better, even though you were apparently out of commission like an hour or two ago...wait huh?

I gotta say, okay, listen I just can’t help it. I know this is serious, but that lil smirk on Isaac’s face? I don’t think he looks smug, personally, I think he looks like he’s about to go play, go rolling around in the grass and leaves, playing with a pack member. He’s been alone for so long this summer, what with Jackson leaving. he’s had no wolves to play with (cus’ we know Derek’s a grump). As worried as he’s gotta be, I bet he’s having funnnnnn.

I..uh..Cora what sound is coming out of your mouth? That..that does not sound like a wolf. That sounds like a wild cat of some kind. Wolves don’t make that screechy noise. They bark and growl, like the sound that came just before. That doesn’t even sound like a roar. Who gave you cheetah sounds?? You’re canine, not feline. Come on they did SO WELL with Derek’s sounds-- No. NO Do not tell me they gave Cora cat sounds cus she’s a chick. I’m gonna fight someone. (For those of you interested, if you scroll to the bottom of this webpage, you can listen to wolf growl snippets and they’re such good quality (I think the bark snippet is broken tho). Listen to those whimpers and whines too, fucking fascinating. I love wolves. Such beautiful animals.)

Cora with Isaac and Scott attacking her and growling at her: “Fuck you, I’ll bite you!” Cora with Derek just growling at her: “BYE bro!”

Stiles, honey! I missed you! Literally, just the sound of your voice makes me feel better.

Scott, Seriously, Derek just said you haven’t tracked either of them anywhere near the pool. You’ve both been following them all night! Yeah, they’re dangerous, but they couldn’t get to the pool and back in time to fight you! I”M GONNA SMACK YOU. DOn’t use that fucking patronizing tone of voice when Derek is TELLING YOU FACTS.

OUR fault? OUR FAULT? I’m gonna fucking *kicks a chair and storms off, grumbling* *Spins around, cus fuck it i’m gonna yell. it’s my post.* NONE OF THIS is DEREK”S FAULT. NOne of this is ISAAC’S FAULT. Fuck dude, I’ll even say that it’s not Scott’s fault! If it’s anyone other than the Alphas’ fault, it’s Allison’s, but tbf she thought she was helping.

DEREK SHUT YOUR PRETTY MOUTH. I swear to god.

ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING? DEREK WOULD NEVER SUGGEST MURDERING BOYD AND CORA. NEVER. He thought Cora was fucking dead and he just found out she’s alive! HE WOULD NEVER. NEVER. FUCK YOU. FUCK EVERYTHING. *Throws a plate* YOU KNOW YOU ONLY FUCKING WROTE IT SO THAT YOU COULD SHOW OFF SCOOT MCFUCKFACE’S SUDDEN FLIP IN MORALITY BY HAVING HIM SAY THAT “KILLING ISN’T THE RIGHT THING TO DO” OH REALLY Scott? REALLY? Killing is bad? YOU DIDN’T THINK SO WHEN YOU SPENT MONTHS attempting to commit PREMEDITATED MURDER of a GUY WHO WAS ALREADY DYING. MONTHS. Scott. FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS SHOW. 13 minutes in and I’m already about to chuck my laptop across the room. MY CAT WON’T EVEN CUDDLE ME ANYMORE I’M SO ANGRY.

And now I’m really fucking sad, cus’ I hate watching this poor girl get told she’s just hallucinating.

WHY does everyone go shopping at fucking 8 pm in Beacon Hills? What...Chris you don’t even have a day job.

I don’t...I don’t understand this scene with Isaac. Like..what exactly are they trying to imply? That he thinks she’s hot? All he’s seen is her raging around with fangs free and glowing eyes. And yeah, some people definitely think that’s hot. But like...that’s just so...what? I choose to read this scene as him just wondering about Derek’s home life. Like, “Since when do you have siblings? Why don’t you tell me these things? I have an aunt?”

WHAT DO YOU mean “Your world?” CHRIS YOU GREW UP AS A HUNTER. THIS IS YOUR WORLD TOO. He was YOUR dad. You’ve been a part of this WAY longer than Scott! Don’t blame the werewolves for ruining your life! THAT WAS YOUR DAD and YOUR STUPID HUNTER CODE’S FAULT.

OKay, listen, I have so many issues with this I need a therapist to mediate my conversations with it. FUCK YOU TW for bringing in Chris. I dont’ give a fuck if he’s experienced or trying to redeem himself. He is a HUNTER he has Slaughtered Derek’s kind for his entire life. He may want to do the right thing, but the right thing definitely doesn’t involved him Standing in front of Derek and forcing him to listen to hunter PROPAGANDA BULLSHIT. I’M SO FUCKING MAD. This was so inappropriate, holy shit. SO far beyond okay. Even the CONCEPT that werewolves wouldn’t be as good at tracking other werewolves as hunters are is fucking stupid. You said it yourself, Chris they can follow scent up to TWO MILES AWAY. Wolves can track their prey for weeks without losing the scent. Just because Isaac stepped on some footprints doesn’t mean he’s incapable of finding them. And what’s all this shit about them “Being able to rely on their human half”? NO? First off, minor detail. Werewolves aren’t half wolf, half human, dumbass. They’re all werewolf. AND The show has said like Ten TIMES that they can’t access their human form/the thought processes they would normally have during a full moon without an anchor, and Boyd and Cora are effectively anchorless on this moon. This is just utter bullshit and I’m so goddamn angry I don’t even know how to process it. “If you’re not trained like me you have no idea this print is Boyd’s” YEAH THEY DO. THEY CAN LITERALLY SMELL IT.  DEREK ALREADY IDENTIFIED THE TRACKS. FUCK you.

ALSO. Getting REAL SICk of people slicing their wrists every time they need a little blood for a ritual or for bait. YOU CUT THE MEAT of the arm. ON THE BACK. WHERE YOU WON”T HIT a VEIN. DUMBASSES.

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DO YOU MEAN NINE YEARS DEREK? YOU’D BETTER MEAN CORA WAS NINE YEARS OLD, CUS’ THE FIRE WAS SIX YEARS AGO. and what do you mean you don’t have a lock on her scent? you’ve been following it just fine all night! Wolves remember human scents decades later.

Booooo, i hate the entire concept of wolves going mad on a full moon. It’s lazy and boring. Wolves are not vicious animals, they’re shy as fuck. THey don’t attack without reason. Werewolves should be the same. Full moon’s enhance their wolfishness, so it should make them MORE SHY. The moon should enhance whatever they feel, rather than just making them mindlessly aggressive.

“Primal apex Predatory satisfaction”? seriously? Shut the FUCK up Chris, I’m really fucking sick of your hunter bedtime stories.

....i hate this woman.

Casual reminder that Isaac wouldn’t suggest Killing boyd. Ever. I fucking hate these writers.

yeah yeah, running scene. blah blah blah.

See, I never really understood those fics where Peter just refuses to give anyone any info. He tells Derek what’s up constantly. He didn’t lie or hold anything back when he helped Derek figure out what was up with Jackson or how Jackson needed Lydia to be cured. He walks right up to Derek and says “Hey, so those Alphas clearly want you to join them and that means they’re trying to make you kill your own pack” Peter helps Derek all the time. He’s just a dick while he does it.

Look, I love this moment with Peter, his “Let Scott be the hero of his morally black and white world. You and I, we live in shades of gray” lines are so good, and they speak so much to his character and personality. And he’s right. But I hate that they built the scene around Derek planning to kill his own pack, and following Scott around doing as he asks. I just hate what they do to Derek here.

The dog whistles suddenly have no effect on their hearing? Love it.

Take a second to bring up a plotline you won’t explain for ages. I vibe with that, so long as it is eventually explained.

OOh, suddenly BHHS has a football field?

Not gonna cry, not gonna cry. FUCK I’m crying again.

I just...dude I’m over here trying not to completely lose my shit and cry like a baby, and Stiles is in the middle of panicking and losing his oldest friend and he still puts the dots together. Like. Jesus christ this boy.

NOW Derek? You choose NOW to take Every Single Step down the stairs? JUMP.

...what is this a cartoon? Glowing eyes in the dark? one too many sets? Yeah, yeah, I get it, they’re supposed to look like fireflies.

Why did you stop to look at each other after blasting them? Just go.

OH, yeah, of course Scott has to be the one to hear the extra heartbeat. Scott. Not Derek. Not the ALpha who’s senses are heightened above the a Beta’s. Not DEREK the ALPHA who has a PACK, which makes his senses even stronger that that. No. Scott. The omega. Because he’s like an inch closer to the door. Yah. Sure. That makes sense. SUre.

Dude I wish my high school had that much backup supplies free for the teacher’s to grab. Also, I hate this woman.

WHy were the lights off in the boiler room if she was in the back grabbing stuff? That..what?

OH. I forgot, so Caitlin’s out of high school? She’s...what, 18? 19? Okay, fine, I’ll take that.

Oh stop faking Jennifer, fuck you.

Crying again. dont’ mind me. This is Derek. Not choosing to kill his beta or his long lost sister. Choosing to die himself instead. THAT is Derek (it’s self-sacrificing and it’s because he gives his own life no worth, but it’s still him.)

HOW IS IT DAWN? THAT WOULD BE like 6 HOURS of standing around! Or did the sun not set until like 10 pm? Hm? This show has no concept of time, and werewolves are very time oriented. Someone take away the show from the writers. They’ve lost their privileges.

I hate this. I hate that Isaac shouts for Scott. Not Derek. That’s just so fucking dumb. I’m so tired of it. I’m just so fucking sick of it.

I don’t even wanna look at this. I hate this woman so much.

YOU REALIZE that the third Virgin was Taken. The third virgin is DEAD. the sacrifices have been made, and now Jennifer has control over people. This is where she starts controlling Derek. Right Fucking Here. He loses his agency the moment they touch, if not the moment they make eye contact or he gets in range. I hate it. I HATE IT.

BOOM. Episode three, and Stiles already has the villain after next figured out. He’s past the Alphas now. 

Final Thoughts: I’m angry, I’m tired, and I honestly got very little joy or interest out of this whole episode. I hate what this show did to werewolves and how much insane Scott glorification there is and how every little thing HAS to be about Scott. Scott’s relationship with Chris. Scott saving the kids. Scott’s the one Isaac calls for. Scott’s the one who hears the heartbeats. I get that he’s the main character. I also hate that he’s the main character. It’s just so sad and pathetic and boring and just....ugh. I’m going to bed. I will try for another episode or two tomorrow.

(I promise I’m okay. Just go listen to the wolf howls for me in that link, huh? Listen to those beauties and imagine how amazing a wolf show could have been.)

[whumpcentral]

Legolas Whump Rec List

Tada!! After months of nearly no activity I am here with the rec list that nobody asked for! 

If anyone is still into Lord of the Rings stuff and enjoys Legolas whump then I’m your gal! I learned how to use the internet at age 12 for the express purpose of reading Legolas whump fanfic and I have never turned back. Under the cut you’ll find a mix of old and new fics that I think are worth a read and review, both for the whump and because they’re just plain good

Also note: all these fics are Gen, and contain violence only to the approximate level that is shown in the LOTR books and movies unless otherwise noted

Less than 5k

I Am Hunter -The Yuggster

Characters: OC, Legolas, Aragorn

Words: 4,353

Summary: “I am Draug. I am Hunter. And tonight I repay my debt.” 

Review:   A lovely outsider-POV vignette, and one of my very favorite fics. I used to have a printed copy of it in case I wanted to read it at a time I couldn’t access the internet. Outsider POV is my favorite sub-genre of whump, and this piece allows you to get to know the narrator, and see the Legolas’ struggle through their eyes

Breaking of the Dam - ScribeofArda

Characters: Fellowship post-TTT, Legolas and Aragorn-centric

Words: 3,909

Summary: “A what-if oneshot: In the scene in RotK where Pippin held the palantir, what if Legolas had grabbed it out of his hands instead of Aragorn? Hurt/comfort and some light angst, as well as a good heaping of Aragorn and Legolas friendship and bromance. I just can't get enough of it.”

Review: The summary pretty much says it all. The h/c in this fic is amazing, and ScribeofArda is one of my all-time favorite LOTR fic authors

Concerning Barrels, Potatoes, and an Unusual Setting for a Heart to Heart - Sarah-K1

Characters: Aragorn, Legolas

Words: 2,871

Summary: “Legolas finds trouble, and Aragorn finds Legolas.”

Review: Definitely more comfort and friendship than hurt. This fluffy little fic has stuck in my memory for years, and I just had to rec it

Simple Comforts - Muse10

Characters: Bilbo, Legolas, Gandalf

Words: 2,279

Summary: “77 years before the War of the Ring, an unlikely friendship is formed between an injured elf and a hobbit after the Battle of Five Armies.”

Review: Another feel-good, comfort-heavy fic

Not Only by Blood Are Brothers Made -  sheraiah

Characters: Legolas, Gimli, Original Characters

Words: 4,538

Summary:  “As he watches over an injured Legolas, Gimli reflects on his friendship with the elf.”

Review: A lovely little hurty-comforty study of the relationship between Legolas and Gimli. Many Legolas whump fics have Aragorn as the caretaker which is all fine and good, but I’m always so excited to find a good one with Gimli in the caretaker role. This fic lets the soft side of a usually gruff character shine a little

5k-10k

By Example - Periphery

Characters: Legolas, Aragorn, Original Characters

Words: 5,936

Summary: “An ordinary girl gets a glimpse into an extraordinary friendship. Three guesses whose.”

Review: Another great fic that I’ve come back to read again and again and again

Lost & Found - iiiionly

Characters: Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, Gandalf

Words: 7,622

Summary: “Legolas has no idea he's lost, though neither Aragorn, nor Gimli, can find him. Just needed to indulge in a little superfluous elf whumping of my own.”

Review: I can never get enough of whumpy Helm’s Deep AUs and this one is my favorite

-and it was done - neoinean

Characters: Aragorn, Legolas

Words:  8,429

Summary: “Detailing a simple rescue mission that, for once, goes off without a hitch.”

Warnings: The violence is quite graphic and personal in this one, I’m not sure if it’s worse than LOTR but the way it’s written feels more realistic and less like fantasy violence to me

Review: The whump is very detailed (hence the warning) which I like. I also really like the writing style of the fic, it’s unique and has a nice rhythm. The whole story has a gritty, realistic tone which I also appreciate

More than 10k

Trial By Separation -  Veilfire Runes

Characters: Legolas, Frodo

Words: 20,173

Summary: “ Despite the bitter snowstorms of Caradhras, the Fellowship decides to continue their attempt on the perilous mountain path. But when the weather turns foul again, Frodo and Legolas are separated from the Company. The two must quickly learn to work together in order to survive the perils of the mountain and rejoin the Fellowship, or else risk the Quest failing altogether.”

Review: A slightly whumpier AU of the Caradhras pass. Includes lots of Legolas and Frodo bonding and I really enjoyed the characterization of both of them in this fic

At the Sign of the Prancing Pony - ScribeofArda

Characters: Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Legolas, Aragorn, Glorfindel

Words: 29,894

Summary: “ 'The shadows seemed to pause together for a few moments. Any words were lost in the wind and the rain, if there were words in the first place anyway. In the next moment the shadows disappeared, and the wind and rain took their places once more.' AU, if Legolas was with Aragorn at the Prancing Pony in Bree.”

Review: Whump-wise, there’s some good hurting and comforting. On the non-whump side of things, I appreciate the way this fic emphasizes Legolas’ experience as a soldier, and how that gives him a different perspective than his companions

Walking Wounded - Mirrordance

Characters: Legolas, Aragorn, Thranduil, Gimli, Boromir, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo

Words: 24,552

Summary:  “ Danger does not stop for grief or injury. For Legolas, there is no rest, respite, or relief on the seemingly endless road between Moria and Lothlorien. He, with the Fellowship he has sworn to serve, has no choice but to move forward, hurting and heartbroken.”

Review: An excellent slight AU character study of an injured Legolas. It’s a long fic and whumpy throughout the whole thing. If you’re excited about the character study aspect, I recommend reading the afterword for even more insight. Mirrordance is another one of my favorite LOTR fic authors

The World is Changed - Mirrordance

Characters: Legolas, Aragorn, Gandalf, and many others

Words: 41,053

Summary:  “ Rebuilding a war-ravaged world begins immediately after victory at the Black Gates. Heroes and soldiers become Kings, Princes and administrators as they build families, societies and legacies in a changed, more peaceful world. A collection of Post-ROTK one-shots starting with "Triage" where, before all the work begins, Legolas first has to look after himself and find his friends.”

Review: This is one of the newest fics I have recced, and it’s recently been completed! I haven’t actually finished reading this one yet, but so far it’s excellent. It’s packed with whump and angst, and provides some great insight into the characters and their relationships after the Battle at the Black Gates

More than 100k

The River - Indigo Bunting

Characters: Fellowship 9

Words: 143,512

Summary: “The Fellowship must cross a river before it can enter the land of Hollin. When disaster strikes, Sam and Legolas find themselves trapped between the river, a party of malicious strangers, and each other. A story about friendship and sacrifice.”

Review: An extremely well-written and whumpy adventure novel with plenty of early-fellowship bonding. A lot of LOTR fics contain the same cliches, and most of the time I don’t take issue with that, but this is a break from some of the overused LOTR fanon. One of the qualms I have with many LOTR fics is that they forget how strong elves are compared to humans, and the feats they can achieve. This fic does not pass over this at all. Never fear, despite his fortitude Legolas is still whumped! I also appreciate how every character is really a character in this fic. Many times I find that the characters who are the focus of a fic are the only people in the story with any depth, and the other characters are written more like props in the background. Even with a group of so many characters, Indigo Bunting does them justice. A thrilling read, I cannot recommend it enough.

The Mellon Chronicles - Cassia and Siobhan

Characters: Legolas, Aragorn, Thranduil, Elladan, Elrohir, Elrond, and more

Words: 1,364,199

Summary: The Chronicles are a series of fics, starting with stories of Legolas’ and Aragorn’s childhoods, and then eventually how the two meet and become friends and the misadventures they have together.

Warnings: 

A couple of the stories contain non-con elements, I’m not sure how severe as I skipped those parts, but there are warnings within the AO3 system on those specific fics.

It may go without saying on a whump blog, but there is particularly large amount of graphic violence and torture in these fics which will also be listed on the individual fics in the AO3 system

Some of them also deal with abuse of a minor and injury to a minor (if you’ve followed me for I while you might know I don’t normally read or rec any whump involving children but since I’m reccing the whole series, I’ll just include this as a warning) 

If these things are not ok for you, I still recommend the series as there are a lot of fluffy fics where none of these warnings apply!

Review: This one goes almost without saying as most LOTR fic readers of the 00s era will have read them. The series in it’s entirety is truly an epic. It’s packed with angst, hurt/comfort, and bromance goodness. These were some of the first whumpy fics I read when I was a kid, and I’ve included them partly for the nostalgia value. They aren’t just about the whump, but they have enough physical and emotional pain for me to include on this list with confidence. They definitely read like fanfiction written in that earlier time, with all the now-overdone tropes you would expect. But the love, care and passion for the characters and universe truly stand up to time, and these tales are absolutely still worth a read. Since the original site is no longer functional, the link above leads to a reposting of the chronicles, with individual descriptions for each fic.