#but there's used ones on ebay for like 11$ so... > : )

[regiawrites]

And There Will Be No Tenderness - S.R

Warning(s): Sub!Spencer, Fem!Dom!Reader, Brief Overstimulation, Riding, General Idiocy Word Count: 6134 Summary: Y/N and Reid never see eye-to-eye, but one kiss changes everything.

Garcia hustled into the conference room as quickly as she could with the height of her hot pink pumps, fiddling with the remote as she moved. "Good morning, my lovelies," She greeted the team. "Sorry for the hurry, but this one's a bad one."

"When are they good ones?" Rossi asked dryly as he flipped open the manilla folder in his hands.

"An excellent point," she granted, "but this one is particularly bad." 

She clicked the remote and a series of gruesome images appeared on the screen, so gruesome, in fact, that even Hotch's face twitched. Four women, clearly dead, were covered in blood, bruises, and an array of other injuries, although no two seemed similar.

"These unfortunate four are Kerry Whittingham, Jasmyn Willis, Carly Smythe and Louise Fresca," Garcia said, gesturing to each of the women as she did so. "All of these women have been missing for between 6 and 11 months, all reported missing by their families within a week of them vanishing."

"How have they been linked together?" Morgan asked. "They all have different causes of death." 

"Yeah," Y/N agreed. "Kerry Whittingham was evisceration, but it says here that Carly Smythe's cause of death was drowning. What's the connection?" 

"That is where things get really bad," Garcia said with a grimace before clicking the remote again. 

Four images of matching symbols appeared, each woman having the same mark burned into their wrists.

"Are those brands?" Y/N asked, horrified, making brief eye contact with JJ who mirrored her expression. 

"Human trafficking, maybe?" Emily suggested and Garcia nodded. 

"The local police department thinks so, yeah." 

"So, they're being sold-" Y/N started, but was cut off by Reid scoffing 'Obviously'. She shot him a glare but spared him no response as she continued. "-and showing up dead. Are there any signs of sexual abuse?" 

"Only on Jasmyn Willis," Garcia answered.

"So, they're not being sold to be sex slaves," Y/N guessed. "They're being sold to be killed."

"Or they're just being sold to whoever's interested," Reid contradicted, as he always did. "I doubt a human trafficker cares." 

"But they WOULD," Y/N argued with a roll of her eyes. "If they were being traded for sex, the trafficker would be more concerned with keeping them alive." 

"Y/L/N's right," Hotch said, and Y/N shot Reid a smug smile that he ignored. "A trafficker would want to keep the women alive so they could continue to bring in money. They're likely being kidnapped and traded with the sole purpose of being tortured and killed." 

"What like some kind of sick eBay for serial killers?" Rossi asked, face twisted in disgust.

"That's one way of looking at it," Hotch sighed as he stood. "Wheels up in 20."

As the team filed out of the room, Y/N glared at Reid as they walked towards the bullpen. "Stop contradicting me at every chance you get, asshole!" she snapped at him, and he raised an eyebrow.

"You know," he started, "research suggests that those who frequently use curse words are less intelligent than those that don't."

"Oh, shut up, Reid."

"Most likely due to a lack of adequate vocabulary," he continued.

"Shut up, Reid."

"I'm just saying, maybe you'd be less insecure about me 'contradicting' you if you-"

"If you're about to imply I'm an idiot, I will hit you," she told him, glaring up at him as they reached their desks. She leaned down to grab her go-bag from beneath her desk.

"You're also very quick to resort to threats of physical violence, which further suggests you have a lack of trust in your own intellect," he said, grabbing his own go-bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

"Don't profile me, Reid," she said, voice flat and unamused, before she turned and headed out. 

Trailing after her, Reid said, "I'm not profiling you; I'm making an observation about a coworker." 

"And your observation is that I'm stupid?" 

"I don't think you're stupid," he said with a shrug, and Y/N narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him.

"You don't?"

"You're a qualified profiler, you can't be stupid," he said. "I do, however, think you're reckless, untrusting of yourself and quick to jump to conclusions." 

"I'm not untrusting of myself," she argued, though she couldn't say she wasn't reckless. She was notorious for thinking with her heart and acting on impulse.

"If you weren't, my contradictions wouldn't bother you." 

"That is so not how that works!" she snapped. "How would you feel if every time you said anything, someone was like 'uhm, actually'?" As she said 'uhm, actually', her voice slipped into a high-pitched, nasally lilt, and she mimed pushing glasses up the bridge of her nose.

They reached the elevator, and continued to bicker as they stepped inside.

And for the whole elevator ride down. 

And for the whole walk to the jet. 

Mercifully, the pair sat at opposite ends of the jet, and didn't talk to each other for the flight, so the team had some peace.

 ***

Within a few hours, the team was set up in the conference room of a police station in Pasadena, Captain Ray Jenkins sitting among them. He was a tall, portly man with a thick moustache and a heavy brow.

"So, the suspect you have in custody had DNA matching two of the victims in the back of his van?" Y/N asked Jenkins.

"Yes, and he also had Carly Smythe's engagement ring in his glove box," he told them, showing them a picture of a diamond ring. "He's remaining silent, though." 

"I'd like to talk to him," she said, and Jenkins nodded. From somewhere beside her, Reid snorted, and she turned to glare at him. "What?" 

"I'm shocked you want to talk to him, is all," he commented with a tight-lipped smile. 

"Why would I not want to talk to a suspect?" she demanded, and he shrugged. 

"Talking involves patience. And tact."

"Oh, 'tact' says the most awkward person I've ever met," Y/N snapped. "I've had to watch you talk to women before, you don't have much tact then." 

Reid turned to face her straight on and level her with a glare, but Hotch held a hand up. "Don't start," was his only warning, effectively shutting them both up. "Y/L/N, you talk to the suspect." 

***

Kyle Hannigan was skinny.

That was the first thing Y/N had noticed about him as he sat across from her in the interrogation room. 

Skinny and short.

There was no way this man kidnapped those women, at least not on his own. 

"You didn't kill those women, Kyle," Y/N said, leaning on the desk between them, flipping through the pictures. 

"That's what I've been saying all this time," he huffed back, testy. As irritated as he sounded, he looked unnerved as his eyes flicked to-and-from the photographs of the mutilated women.

"You don't even know who killed them, do you, Kyle?" she pushed.

"No!" 

"I don't even think you touched them," she said, fighting back a smile when he raised a questioning brow at her. "I mean look at you-" she gestured to him, "-you're short, you're skinny. Jasmyn Willis was 5'9 and a weightlifter, she could have fought you off blindfolded." Kyle's jaw ticked at the insult, but he remained silent. "You're just the delivery driver." 

He stared at her, dark eyes looking up through his brows.

"So, if you're just the delivery driver, who got those women into the van, Kyle?" she asked. "And more importantly, who's running the operation?" 

He continued to stare at her, silent. 

"You know, whoever's above you in the food chain is absolutely going to let you go to prison for this," she told him. "Hell, they probably want you to take the fall. You gain nothing by protecting these people." 

"It'll be my word against his, and no one will believe me over him," he said, low and slow, leaning towards her with a glare. "So, what's the point?" She, too, leaned forward and matched his fiery glare with a cool, flat stare.

"Your word against who's, Kyle?" 

His eyes flicked towards the one-way mirror behind her, then back down to her, and she didn't miss the desperation in his eyes. 

He wanted to tell her.

He looked up at the CCTV camera positioned in the corner of the room.

"Who?" 

He continued to stare at her before raising his right hand, forming it into a claw shape and tapping it to his shoulder.

"That's all you're getting out of me," he said, before folding his arms over his chest.

***

"A claw shape that he tapped to his shoulder?" JJ asked. "What does that mean?" 

"It's ASL," Reid said matter-of-factly, pulling out his phone. 

"And what's it ASL for?" Jenkins asked him, and Reid shrugged. "I thought you were a genius."

"That doesn't mean I'm all-knowing," Reid said, simply. He began typing something into his phone.

"Great load of good that is, then," Jenkins grunted. "What do we do now?" 

"Our tech analyst is looking through his cell phone history to see if there's any suspicious activity that could be an accomplice," Hotch informed him, but Y/N didn't pay much attention to Jenkin's reply as her phone vibrated. 

She unlocked it and, surprised to see a text from Reid, she looked up to give him a questioning look, but he was pointedly not looking at her. Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, she tapped on the notification and had to force her face to remain neutral.

Reid: It's ASL for Captain.

And that was how Reid and Y/N found themselves snooping around Jenkin's office, looking for incriminating evidence. After forwarding Reid's text to Hotch and Garcia, she slipped into his office, followed by Reid.

"This is not how we're supposed to do this!" Reid hissed at her as she rifled through one of his drawers while he kept watch. "Nothing you find like this will be admissible in court."

"Yeah, yeah," she grunted, closing the drawer as quietly as she could before opening the next one down. 

"We're going to get caught." 

"Not if you do a good job keeping watch, we won't," she said, reaching for a drawer with a lock on it. She pulled and it didn't budge. "Shit, it's locked," she mumbled, looking around the desk for a paperclip, which she found in a small plastic cup, and bent it into an L-shape. 

"What are you doing?" Reid whispered, panicked and stepped away from the door.

"Keep watch!" she hissed back, wiggling the paperclip around and managing to twist the mechanism, unlocking the drawer. "Aha!"

"Why am I not surprised you can do that?" Reid asked, not looking at her. She glared at the back of his head.

"Because I'm a cornucopia runneth over of useful skills," she snarked as she started digging through the drawer. 

"Sure, that's why," he said, but she paid no mind as she started flicking through a folder she found. 

"Holy shit, Reid, I got something," she said, and he spun around to look at her.

"What, really?" he asked, walking over to her and she tilted the folder so he could see it. "Is that-?"

"Carly Smythe, yeah." 

From Y/N's hands, Carly Smythe's bruised, but very alive, face stared back at them from in front of a dirty wall. She was only wearing a white tank top in the picture, and her hair was flat and greasy, eyes hardened as she glared at the camera.

This picture wasn't a part of the investigation.

The picture was stapled to another sheet of paper, one with messy writing scrawled over it. 

Carly

24

140lbs

5'6

Brown eyes

Brown hair

No Tattoos

Limited known sexual history

Sweet voice

$10k min

$33k to Poseidon

"Oh my God," Reid muttered. 

"She isn't the only one either," Y/N said, flipping through the rest of the pages, through profiles of several women, including the four known victims. "We have to get this to Hotch." 

Before Reid could say anything, they heard Jenkins' voice coming from somewhere outside. Y/N's heart dropped.

"You were supposed to keep watch!" she whispered accusatorily at Reid, who sputtered out a response she didn't listen to as she lifted her shirt and shoved the folder into her pants, covering it when her shirt fell back down.

"What are you doing?" he asked her, eye flicking Wilding between her and the door as Jenkins' voice got closer. 

"Smuggling this out of here," she said, like it should have been obvious.

"And what excuse are you going to give him for us being in here?" he demanded, holding his hands up in distress.

"Kiss me," she commanded, and he choked.

"Excuse me?"

"Kiss me!"

And he did.

As the door handle turned, he surged forward and their mouths connected, lips crashing together. 

Reid grabbed Y/N's hips, pulling her body towards his as his tongue glided over hers, taking her by surprise as he took complete control of the kiss. She slid her hands into his hair, tugging it at the roots.

He whined into her mouth, and all higher thought ceased in Y/N's mind.

Pulling his hair harder, she kissed back with a punishing harshness, vaguely registering her ass hitting the desk as Reid pushed her against it, sliding his hands from her hips up to her waist, around her back and pulling her back against him. She caught his bottom lip between her teeth and tugged on it, making him whimper in a way that had her whole body heating up in response. 

"Ahem." 

Gasping, they tore away from each other and spun towards the door to see Jenkins smirking at them. "I don't think that's an appropriate workplace activity, Agents," he commented, and Y/N grinned in faux sheepishness. 

"Sorry, it’s all new," she said, pushing Reid away from her less harshly that she ordinarily would. "We can't keep our hands off of each other." 

"I won't tell your Captain, don't worry, sweetheart," he said, a look in his eye as he turned his gaze to her that made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

Both Y/N and Reid managed to get out of the room, and the folder shoved into the front of Y/N's pants felt like it weighed a tonne.

It took less than 24 hours before Jenkins was on the other side of police custody, coughing up information about his clientele.

Six days later, four other men had been arrested for the murders of the women, and had several other murders linked to them.

Three weeks later, the Team had busted a huge ring of human trafficking. 

One month later, Y/N was still thinking about that kiss. 

Each member of The BAU had been rewarded (read: forced to take) a two-week period of leave after the events of the bust. Morgan had been shot, Rossi had a joint dislocated and, all-in-all, it was an incredibly stressful time.

Five days in and Y/N was going stir-crazy from both the boredom and the haunting thoughts of Reid’s mouth on hers. Every so often her mind would wonder to the plush look of his lips, or the intense furrow of his brow, or- when she was particularly out of control- the whine he’d made against her lips when she pulled his hair.

By day seven, she’d exhausted her Netflix subscription and had purchased Disney plus.

By day nine she’d nearly finished The Golden Girls and was out-of-her-mind bored.

As Dorothy made a snide comment, Y/N’s phone notification went off, and she practically jumped on it in all her enthusiasm. Her enthusiasm promptly dissipated when she realised the text was from Reid, and she rolled her eyes.

Reid: Are you busy?

You: No why?

Reid: I’m bored.

You: Okay and?

Reid: Are you telling me you’re not?

You: Well obviously but I didn’t text you to complain about it

Reid: Can I come over? Everyone else is busy. I’ll buy you pizza.

You: I can buy my own pizza

Reid: It tastes better when it’s free, no?

You: Fine you can come but if you don’t have the pizza I’m not letting you in

Reid: Deal. I’ll be there in an hour.

Oh, God, Reid was coming over.

She tidied up her living area, even rearranging the throw pillows on her couch before looking down at the ratty T-shirt she was wearing and had been wearing for a least three days. She debated leaving it on, but your skin tingled unpleasantly at the thought of Reid seeing it and she reluctantly decided to change.

But she couldn’t change into clean clothes without showering.

And if she was showering anyway, she may as well shave.

But if she shaves without exfoliating, she gets ingrown hairs.

That dangerous train of logic is what compelled her to take an ‘everything shower’, listening to music while she pampered her skin and ridded herself of all body hair. For Reid of all people too, to add insult to injury. He probably wouldn’t even appreciate it, not that she’d give him the chance to appreciate your silky-smooth legs, but still. Some acknowledgements of her immense efforts wouldn’t go amiss.

She stepped out of the shower and slathered herself in vanilla-scented lotion, before dressing into a simple pyjama set consisting of loose (but very short), plaid shorts and a black tank top. The doorbell rang just as she slid her feet into her slippers. Checking the clock, she rolled her eyes when she realised it had been almost exactly one hour since his last text, the punctual motherfucker.

She shuffled to the door and looked through the peephole to make sure it was actually Reid, snorting at the way the lens disfigured his face in a bizarre perspective, before letting him in. “Reid,” she greeted, as neutrally as she could when she wanted to tear into the pizza box that he was holding. It wasn’t lost on her that it was from her favourite local place.

“Y/L/N,” he responded in much the same tone, stepping in and slipping his shoes off and revealing a mismatched pair of truly bizarre socks, setting them on the shoe-rack beside the door. He’d known her for long enough to know she absolutely did not tolerate shoes inside her home, and she tried not to feel fond.

“That pepperoni?” she asked, jerking her head towards the pizza box.

“Obviously,” he said, shooting her a distinct look of irritation, like she’d asked a stupid question. “Hey, I don’t know your life,” she snapped. “You could be one of those freaks that like Hawaiian.”

“You know, it’s widely considered fact that the components of balanced flavour are ‘salt, acid and sugar’, so by that logic, a Hawaiian Pizza would-“

“Oh my God, you’ve been here less than five minutes and you’re already doing the thing,” she groaned, taking the pizza box from him and walking to the living area.

“What thing?” he asked, following behind her.

“The ‘uhm, actually’ thing!” she says, plopping down onto the couch and setting the box on the coffee table. He rolled his eyes again and sat down next to you, not deigning to respond.

Silence settled over the two of them.

Dying for anything to relieve the awkwardness, Y/N leaned over to grab a slice of pizza, aware of Reid’s eyes on her. She turned to shoot him a questioning look, but he didn’t meet her gaze and pointedly stared at the TV.

Fuck, his jaw was sharp, and his neck was an elegant arch.

An echo of his desperate whine ricocheted in her head for a moment as she stared at him.

Such a sweet noise from such sweet lips, pillowy and plush against hers. If a kiss was all it took to wring noises like that from him, she couldn’t help but be curious what noises he’d make if she put her hands places that weren’t his hair...

When he swallowed and cleared his throat, she snapped out of her stupor and chewed on her slice, turning back to the TV.

Half an hour later, neither of them had said anything. At some point, Y/N had taken the half-eaten pizza into the kitchen, and bought back a bottle of water for Spencer, who nodded in gratitude, but the awkward silence remained.

They snuck glances at each other, but it became apparent they didn’t know how to be civil with one another.

“So,” Y/N started clumsily. “You done anything interesting on your leave? “I- uh-“ he cleared his throat “-Re-read some of my favourite works in their original languages, I wanted to see if they held any nuances that got lost in their translation.” “Interesting,” Y/N said. “I imagine that killed time for about a day.”

“Yeah, it didn’t take long,” Reid laughed quietly. “I’ve spent the rest of the time writing to my mother and watching Doctor Who.” “It’s a good show. Tennant is the superior Doctor.” “Naturally,” Reid agreed, shockingly enough. “Although I’m partial to Eccleston for nostalgic reasons.”

“Who’s your favourite sidekick?” “Donna Noble,” he replied. “I think she had the most character, and her personality complimented The Doctor well.” “I thought Martha was cool, too,” Y/N said. “Even though she was obviously just a rebound for The Doctor to try to get over Rose.” “Some of my favourite episodes are from when Martha was on the show,” he told her and she smiled, smally at him.

“Really?” “Yeah! ‘The Waters of Mars’ was incredible!” Y/N felt her heart flutter at the way his eyes lit up and his mouth broke into a wide grin, deciding to ignore it. “Oh, God, that’s the one where the water’s poisoned and makes the people at the station into- like- zombies, right?” Y/N asked, twisting around in her seat to face him properly. “That freaked me out. Like the one in the library.”

“Where River Song is first introduced?”

The conversation flowed with an ease that was unfamiliar to them after that, and it turned out they had a lot more in common than either of them thought.

It wasn’t long before they were sifting through Y/N’s streaming service subscription, settling on a horror movie they were both fond of.

The Fly.

“You know, even with the clunky visual effects, this movie is still incredible,” Reid commented quietly, not looking away from the screen.

“Probably because it’s a romantic tragedy more than a horror movie,” Y/N said. “It doesn’t need to rely on visuals, the story-telling does most of the heavy lifting.” She turned to him. “Although the ‘clunky visual effects’ are better than some CGI I’ve seen recently.” Reid laughed at that and nodded. “Yeah, I can’t argue with that,” he said.

This was too weird, and it was making Y/N itch. It was making Y/N come closer to giving in to the urge to press her mouth to his.

“Shocking,” she said, drily, trying to shift their dynamic to what it normally was. “You usually contradict me every chance you get.” Reid stopped laughing and cast her a side-ways glance.

“I’m simply correcting you,” he said.

“My asshole you are,” she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “And don’t start with the whole ‘people who curse are less intelligent’ shit, or I will throw you out, pizza and all.” “And to think we managed to have several civil conversations,” he groaned, taking a sip of his water and rolling his eyes. “Well, it was nice while it lasted.” “I’m being perfectly civil,” Y/N said, knowing full-well that she wasn’t. “Just admit that you get off on proving to everyone that you’re smarter than them.” “You have no idea what I get off on,” he snapped, turning to her. When their eyes met, time stilled for a moment.

She’d never noticed before how his deep, brown eyes flashed gold in the light.

“What do you get off on then?”

The question had escaped her lips without her permission, and she abruptly snapped it closed as they looked at each other with wide eyes.

“What?” he asked wearing a look of pure shock, like he didn’t even believe he’d heard her correctly.

“Nothing!” she practically squawked, looking away from him and ignoring the feeling of her cheeks heating up.

“Did you just ask me what I get off on?” he choked out, looking incredulously at you as you awkwardly looked at him, looking away again immediately.

“Pfffft, no,” you lied, stupid as he’d clearly heard her.

“You totally did!”

“Okay, so maybe I did,” she admitted. “It kinda just slipped out, I don’t actually wanna know.” “Don’t you?” he asked, voice dropping into a husky tone she didn’t know he was capable of.

She gaped at him, not even knowing what to say. “I-“

“I’ve seen the way you’ve looked at me since we kissed,” he told her, leaning forward. “Your eyes keeping dropping to my lips, and your pupils dilate when they do.” He leaned in closer to her. “You also keep absentmindedly biting, licking and playing with your lower lip when you look at me.” “…So?” she asked, not denying it. They both know he was too good a profiler to lie to, especially about something he’d observed himself.

“So, you can’t stop thinking about it,” he said in a voice barely above a whisper. “And you want to do it again.” When she didn’t say anything, he moved closer to her, so close, in fact, that they could feel each other’s breath puffing onto their faces.

“Do you want to know why I really asked you if I could come over tonight?” he asked, lips so close to hers it was agony.

“Why?” she asked breathlessly.

“Because I want that, too.” She gave in.

With both of her hands on his cheeks, she dragged him the extra inch forward and slotted her mouth against his, swallowing down a keen that threatened to bubble out at the contact. His long, deft fingers gripped her waist and pulled her closer to him, and she followed his pull as elegantly as she could to land in his lap.

Immediately, and like she’d been wishing she could do for a long month, she sunk her fingers back into those brown curls and tugged. The soft noise he made against her lips was hardly the high-pitched whine that had haunted her, but it was enough to make her double her efforts, pressing her body against his and kissing him with poorly hidden aggression. He matched her sudden ferocity, sliding his hands around to her ass and squeezing hard enough to have her breath stuttering out of her chest. When he chuckled against her mouth, she bit down on his lower lip, just a quick tug in between her teeth, but it was enough to make him gasp, and she took that as her opportunity to pull his head back by his hair and look down at him.

Eyes blown out, cheeks flushed pink and his lower lip already kiss-swollen, he already looked like a mess.

“God, I want to fucking ruin you,” she hissed, grinding down over his hips and grinning wickedly at the firmness she felt against her. He whined, his eyes flicking upwards momentarily before he refocused on her face. “Please do,” he gasped, rocking his hips up against her, gripping her ass again.

“Already begging?” she teased. He glared at her, but it was hollow, before he reached up to grab the back of her neck and drag her to his lips again.

When their lips crushed against each other’s, Y/N’s hands immediately started to rip at Reid’s shirt, almost ripping the buttons off in her haste to get it off him. He whined into her mouth at her aggression, reluctantly taking his hands off her to slide the sleeves of his button up off his arms, leaving his chest bare to her. She raked her nails down his chest, trails of pink following her fingertips, and he arched into her with a sweet keen. She pinched his nipple with one hand, and he gasped. Taking his surprise as an opportunity, she slid her mouth across his jaw to leave hot, open-mouthed kisses down his neck, pausing to bite and suck at the sensitive juncture between his neck and shoulder.

“Oh!” Reid moaned, thrusting his hips against her particularly hard at the overwhelming sensation. “Oh, God, Y/N, please.”

“Please what?” she taunted, continuing to leave marks on his neck, and continuing to tease his chest. She ground her hips against him far more firmly, speeding up her steady rhythm. “I don’t- I- Oh!” he struggled, breaking off into a whimper before he could get the words out.

“If I knew that this was all it took to get you to shut up, I’d have done it sooner,” she said, laughing cruelly when he glared at her. Still choking out a chain of whimpers and whines, he slid his hands up her tank top, cupping her breasts, long, deft fingers pinching her nipples harshly in retaliation. She squeaked, shocked, turning to him with her own glare. He gave her a paradoxically shy little smirk, proud of himself, and it infuriated her.

When she pushed herself backwards, down his legs and away from the bulge in his pants, he whined in protest. She pulled his zipper open, shoving the soft fabric of his boxers to pull his cock out, hot and heavy in her palm; it was bigger that she thought it would be, definitely bigger than average, and delightfully thick.  “Oh, God, what are you going to do with me?” he asked, voice breathless and desperate as he tried to buck into her hand, whining when her weight on his lap meant he couldn’t drive up enough to get any real friction.

“I’m gonna use you,” she told him, stroking his cock deliberately slow, squeezing around his sensitive head.

“Oh, fuck!”

“Until you can’t even think anymore.”

Nodding enthusiastically and gripping her hips, he tried to drag her back towards him, but she tsk’d. She placed a hand on his chest to push him onto the couch and used the leverage to stand up. Slowly, she began to push the waistband of her shorts down, the way he stared at the movement as though hypnotised flooded her brain with a heady feeling of power. “Reid?” she cooed, and it looked like it took a tremendous amount of effort for him to drag his eyes from her hips to her face.

“Ye-yeah?” he stuttered out, almost absentmindedly reaching for his cock and fisting himself in a loose grip. She bit her lip as she watched the tentative movement. “Do you have any condoms?” she asked, hoping to God he said yes. The hope was foiled when he looked at her with an expression of panic.

“No, shit, no, I don’t,” he huffed, and she could see him calling himself an idiot in his own head.

“Fuck it, I’m clean and on birth control,” she said. “Are you-?”

“Yes, I’m clean, Y/N,” he said, a pleading look on his face. “God, I’ve been thinking about this for a whole month, please don’t make me wait.” Ordinarily, she’d tease him, but seeing as she had felt exactly the same way, she finished sliding her shorts down her legs, leaving them on the floor as she straddled him once again. She pushed her hips down on his, grinding her wet pussy over the throbbing heat of his cock and they both gasped. “Please, don’t tease,” he begged, looking up at her with the saddest puppy dog eyes. “Just fuck me, oh my God, please.”

“Eager,” she teased and slapped her ass in retaliation, making her yelp and jolt forward, making her wetness slide over his cock once again. She started grinding down deliberately hard to get back at him.

He threw his head back and gasped, and she took that as a chance to start sucking and nibbling on the column of his throat.

It didn’t take long before he was whining in that sweet, sweet way that made her head spin. “Please!” he whimpered desperately, pushing his hips up to meet her movements, and she relented. Pulling away from his neck, she lifted herself up before sinking down on his cock.

“Fuck!” “Oh, God!”

He was fully inside of her, stretching her out in a dull ache as her adjusted to him. “Fuck, you’re so big,” she mumble, gently starting to rock as the ache lessened. He didn’t respond, and the glazed look in his eyes made her question if he’d even heard her. He grabbed her ass, kneading the firm flesh in a way she thoroughly appreciated.

Slowly, she started bouncing, and he screwed his eyes shut, whimpering quietly at the almost overwhelming feeling of her hot, wet pussy squeezing him. “You feel like heaven,” he whispered, jaw going slack as she started moving faster.

It didn’t take long before they we both panting, flushed and desperate as the moved against each other. At some point, Reid had wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in the crook of her neck, licking and sucking and biting wherever he could reach.

Y/N sunk her hands into his hair, gripping it tightly to keep him there as the brutal pace she had set brought her closer to the edge. The way he was practically sobbing into her neck told her he was close, too.

“Reid,” she panted, pulling his head away from her neck by his hair. He looked up at her, flushed cheeks and mouth hanging open, eyebrows hitched and eyes watery. He looked so fucked out she couldn’t help the pride that rushed through her. “Are you close, baby?” she asked him with a cruel smirk, and he nodded pathetically, crying out when she gripped his hair tighter to cease the movement.

“Please,” he begged. “I’m so close!” “Don’t you dare cum before I do,” she hissed, leaning back a little so the hand that wasn’t in his hair could rub her clit.

“I’m trying, I’m trying, but you feel so good! Ah, ah, please cum, please cum, please cum!”

His begging, desperate and needy, pushed her over the edge, her fingers on her clit and his cock filling her up as she toppled over the precipice of her orgasm. She cried out his name as her walls shuddered around him, dragging him over too. He cried out, louder than he had before as his orgasm wreaked havoc on his body, his legs shaking and tears finally dropping onto his cheeks. He babbled an incoherent stream of pleas as oversensitivity kicked in, crying that it was too much as she rode her own orgasm.

Her bouncing slowed to a still and she fell against him, both breathing heavily and flushed.

It took several minutes for both to catch their breath, and for coherent thought to be functional again.

Y/N hurried into the bathroom to clean herself up and tried to not spiral into panic; not only had she has sex with a coworker and totally violated the fraternisation policies at the bureau she’d had sex with Reid. Worse, she realised she didn’t regret it. She should, but she doesn’t, and she has never believed in being guilty about things that don’t warrant guilt.

She supposed it was harmless, really. Honestly, if they had this new way of working out their animosity towards each other, they’d probably be more pleasant to be around.

So, really, fucking him was for the good of the team.

Yeah, I’m totally doing it for the team, she told herself as she finished cleaning herself up.

When she left the bathroom and returned to the living room, his shirt was back on his body and his cock was tucked back into his pants. He was sitting there looking so awkward it was painful, and he didn’t look at her when she sat beside him.

“We shouldn’t have done that,” he said quietly, and she sighed. “No, we shouldn’t have,” she agreed. He nodded, eyes not moving from his hands where they were folded in his lap. “So, what now?” he asked.

“I have condoms in my dresser,” she offered, laughing when his head shot up and he looked at her so incredulous it would have been offensive if it wasn’t so funny. “You don’t want to do it again?” “No, no, I do,” he rushed out with pinkening cheeks. “I just didn’t think that you’d want to! “Well, I do,” she said matter-of-factly before standing up and walking towards the bedroom. When he didn’t immediately follow, she turned around with a raised eyebrow. “Are you coming or not?” she asked.

Reid had quite possibly never moved so fast in his life as he followed her giggles to her bedroom.

[homestuck--edits]

can i request a pesterquest sprite edit of Dave Harley? use dave's sprite as a base please. his hair goes down a bit above his shoulders, he's smiling like a dork, he has circular sunglasses, a t-shirt with a coral-coloured stegosaurus on it, and a neon green bandaid on his chin.

now that is a guy named dave

-mod davesprite

[colleendoran]

How Do I Do Stuff

The question was phrased a little strangely, and I don't want to embarrass the person by posting exactly what was said, but I'll answer it and hope this clears everything up.

I do almost all of my drawing by hand. No, I don't trace in Photoshop. Not a judgment on those who do, but I come from a generation of artists who did not use Poser programs or other digital tools. We learned to draw using a technique called the Sight Size method. I know a lot of people assume everyone - including the old masters - traced everything using optical tools, but while it is true some people did, it is just as true that most didn't, and you can draw with great accuracy if you learned how to draw the old fashioned way.

Sight Size breaks everything down into its barest components of geometric shapes and you build from there. Once you learn it, you never forget, and it applies to everything you will ever draw.

I learned it using a set of Famous Artist Course books my mom had since she was a kid, and they are still the gold standard. They're often on ebay. If I were you, I'd buy them.

I actually find using figure reference really annoying because I like exaggerations and modifications from reality in my final work.

This page from Neil Gaiman's Chivalry was drawn and painted without figure reference of any kind.

I don't know why people assume I trace all the time. If you were to try to use photographs to replicate these figures, you would find they are slightly off. There is no tracing here.

This is not to say I never use reference. This page, for example, was referenced from a photo of my mother. Isn't she pretty.

But this page of Sir Galaad was drawn and painted without reference.

He's pretty, too.

If he were real, I'm sure a lot of people would be very happy about it. But he's not. And had I reference, the art would have gone a lot faster. I had a time trying to nail this face that is very alive in my head but doesn't really exist.

Back in the ancient days, all cartoonists had to learn to draw and paint extemporaneously because reference was limited and digital tools didn't exist. While some high end artists had photography studios and professional models with costume and sets on hand, small fry like me were limited to what was in the house or available at my small local library, which was no bigger than a few rooms of my current house.

Artists kept extensive "morgue files" or "swipe files" which were collected from magazine clippings and photographs so we would have as much of what we might need on hand for quick reference. These ephemera collections could get unwieldy. I have thousands of photographs I've simply never sorted. I finally dumped most of my files this past year.

Have I ever traced anything? Of course, especially if I have to re-use a shot or setting over and over. Making extra work for myself is just silly. It's my job to make pictures, not to perform magical feats, like copying one shot after another over and over without making a mistake.

However, for almost 15 years of my career, I refused to copy or trace anything, and did not even own a lightbox. On the one hand, that forced me to learn to carefully examine what I saw. On the other hand, it was a stupid hill on which many deadlines died.

Only after I realized many professional artists had lightboxes and overhead projectors did I finally break down and get one.

The one thing I use my lightbox for more than anything is for tracing my thumbnail sketches to the final drawing paper. Instead of trying to capture the liveliness of the original sketch by copying what I see - only bigger - I blow the thumbnail up to the size I want the final art to be, then I trace over the thumbnail using a lightbox onto the final drawing paper.

Here's a look at thumbnails from the graphic novel Neil Gaiman's Snow, Glass, Apples.

I enlarged these on my computer to fit onto 11"x14" paper, and traced the thumbs before finishing the art which was drawn in pen and ink and colored in Photoshop.

While I obviously made some changes, the essence of the thumbs is there in the final work. Tracing my thumbs retains some of the looseness of the original sketches, which is often lost otherwise.

So, there is a valid purpose to tracing at times, though in my opinion, too much tracing can weaken drawing ability, substitute for developing skills, and make the work kind of stiff.

If you want to, I'm not your judge. But it's weird to me that people think I must be faking my skills in some way.

Ironically, the word cartoon comes from the Italian word cartone, which is a large heavy sheet of paper - also, the origin of the word carton.

Preparatory sketches were made on this paper which was then transferred to the final work surface via either tracing or by stamping little holes in the paper through which dust was sprinkled, recreating the contours of the drawing for the artist to follow.

So the origin of the word cartoon comes from a process often used...for tracing.

[glassartpeasants]

Run Rabbit Run .09

Yandere!Eustass Kidd x F!Reader

Warnings: angst, mentions of past abuse, pregnancy, implications of death,

A/N: So since theres gonna be a little more people in this chapter then usually so some people are gonna have the same colors but different size fonts to indicate a different persons talking. hope its not to confusing. The key to help for people with the same color is below

Chopper- small orange Nami- regular orange

music playlist

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6 pt.7 pt.8 pt.9 pt.10 pt.11

~~~

“We’re here! Everyone assume positions and get ready to dock!” The sound of thunderous footsteps and Tashigi’s voice breaks through your nap. You rub your eyes as the sun shines through the windows of the bunk room. 

“Wake up (Y/N)! We’re at Sabaody!” Tashigi’s voice once again cuts through the silence as she calls out to you from behind the door.

“Mmh, I’m up…just give me a second.” You stretch gently before gathering the strength to push yourself up. Breathing heavily, you manage to sit up, the purple turtleneck you wore slightly riding up before you pull it back down. You grab your hat from beside you and position it so that it keeps your hair in place and hides the scar along your face.

“Do you need help picking up your things?” The door opens as Tashigi peaks inside to check up on you.

“That’d be wonderful. I can’t really pick up things like that anymore, haha.” You watch her grab some things and hand them to you before she carries some things herself.

“There's no need to do that. I’m going to have to carry it after I get off the ship.”

“I’m using it as an excuse to just hang out with you for a little longer. Smoker might make me do something.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the slight pout on Tashigi’s face. Yet, you were happy you’d be able to talk to her as friends before you guys became ‘enemies.’ The thought made your heart bleed, but there was nothing you could do about it. Even if you were enemies outside, you’d always be friends in your soul.

The thought of not being woken up and seeing the smiling faces of G-5 marines made a small voice inside you tell you to stay. That you’ll miss them more then you think you would. It was like an earworm replaying the same song over and over again. But when you bite your tongue harshly, all those thoughts leave, and the voice telling you to return to the Straw Hats and that your almost home comes back. It’ll always be hard, never being able to talk to them peacefully ever again. But the memories will soothe the pain. 

“Captain! We’’ve docked! We’re on tree 30!” One of the marines notifies Tashigi and you on th ebay that the ship was anchored. Thankfully, quite a bit away yet close enough to bay 41. While you weren’t looking forward to walking that far, it’d be worth it in teh end to see everyone.

“Here’s to hoping my shoes don’t get drenched in whatever makes those bubbles here.”

“It actually doesn’t! Truly weird stuff. Have you never been to Sabaody before?”

“I’ve been here but haven’t actually been on land. Just a quick sight as we passed by to head to the new world.”

“It’s a pretty place but also full of bad people. Bounty hunters, other pirates, and not to mention those disgusting Celestial dragons. Makes me sick.”

“Anyone sane would want to see those horrible people go down.”

Memories of the Celestial Dragons you encountered two years ago flood your mind as you hold back the urge to vomit everywhere. You remember a conversation you had with Killer months ago when you were still under Kidd’s lies. How he told you about how the Celestial Dragons mark their slaves by burning their symbol into their skin. Almost exactly like the jolly roger scarred into your own. Once again, though, you escaped your kidnapper's clutches. But there's so many people who’ll never be given the chance you’ve had. Never be able to see the sun as a free person.

‘No. Don’t dwell on that. Today’s supposed to be happy. Stop thinking about things you can’t control.’

“Well, this is it.” As soon as you were 20 feet from the ship, you and Tashigi stopped. Turning around to face the ship, you saw everyone gather to say goodbye, including Vice Admiral Smoker.

“So this is it, huh?”

“I guess so.” A little chuckle leaves your lips before it turns into tears. Despite trying your best to silence them, they continue to flow.

“I’m so thankful for all of you…You’ve always done so much for me, and there's nothing I can do to repay you. I’m going to miss you all so much.” You can feel Tashigi wrap her arms around you before starting to cry as well.

“Don’t leave (Y/N)! Stay with us!” The two of you held each other tight as tears continued to cry harder.

“I’m sorry! We can still be friends regardless of our sides!” Tears made your vision blurry as you held onto Tashigi for a little while longer before leaving her embrace. Walking up to Vice Admiral Smoker, you lower your head.

“Thank you for everything, Vice Admiral. I promise to protect the honor of G-5 and take down any pirate who dares speak ill of you. And I also promise that no civilian will be hurt by my hands.”

“They better not. Now, get out of here before I change my mind.” With a chuckle, you lift up your head and grab your things with Tashigi’s help.

“Oh, Tashigi, one more thing before I go. I have to ask you something.” With all the overthinking you’ve been doing, a scenario popped up in your head that you couldn’t help but ask her to be a part of.

“What is it?”

“If, by some chance, I do end up keeping the baby with me, and I happen to pass away, would you take care of them for me? Like a godmother or something?” Once again, you were wrapped up in Tashigi’s arms as she cried.

“I’m so honored! Of course, I will. Oh my god (Y/N), you're so sweet!” The two of you hug a little longer before separating. Wiping the tears from your eyes, you wave to the other marines, who wave back to you.

“Goodbye, everyone! I love you all!” With a final wave, you turn your back and make your way to the thousand sunny.

“Do you think she’ll be safe? I can’t help but worry.” Smoker watched as the captain of G-5 gently wiped her tears away. How a single pirate managed to worm her way into the hearts of G-5 will forever be a mystery to outsiders.

“She’ll be fine. As much as I’d like to arrest those Straw Hats right now, I’ll wait. We’ll definitely be seeing each other again. A pirate can only escape for so long.” Crossing his arms, he watches you walk away.

He’s never met someone like you in all his years on earth. Someone who’s been through hell twice yet still has kindness to give to a world that turned their back on her. How you’ve managed to pull through all these months was a miracle. So many nights, people were awakened to the sound of your cries from the night terrors you suffered, but no one said a word about it to him until a day ago. To suffer all that and still find a way to smile is a trait not many can say they have. It’s admirable.

“Let’s get ready to go back to the New World. Everyone get ready!”

“Yes, Vice Admiral!” Watching the Marines scatter helps Smoker ignore the sadness in his chest. Despite how he’d outwardly deny it, he’ll miss you. You can only hang out with someone for so long before they worm their way into your heart. And somehow, you managed to set up a place without meaning, too.

~~~

‘This place is much bigger than I remember. I hope I’m going the right way. Not like I can ask for directions.' You were trying to avoid the public eye yet not look suspicious, so you just kept your head down. With your hair covering your scar and your hat hiding your face, a slight sense of safety coursed through your veins. But not enough for you to ignore the wanted posters that had your face scattered everywhere. Even though there was so much noise around you, you still managed to catch your name being talked about.

“When the hell are the Marines going to catch her? Doesn’t she know the destruction and death she’s caused?!”

“She should just go back to Captain Kidd. Everyone would be safer and happier. She’s being selfish.” Those words make you stop in your tracks as a rage boils inside you. You know you promised Smoker that you wouldn’t lay a hand on a civilian, but how dare they call you that? They don’t know what you’ve been through. How can they tell you what you should do when they haven’t experienced anything you have?

“Let’s not forget she’s pregnant! The most infamous worst-gen pirate has a child! No doubt that child is going to be just like their dad!” Your knuckles turn white from how hard you were gripping your belongings. Every cell in yoru body begged for you to teach them a lesson. To tell people that they had no right to treat you the way they were. That if they went through what you went through, they wouldn’t be talking the way they were. You can feel your body shake in anger as they continue to talk.

‘I have to keep moving. I’m gonna do something I’ll regret if I don’t.’ Taking a deep breath, you begin to fast walk away from the two civilians. You’ve come too far to blow your cover now.

“300,000,00 berri’s if given to Captain Kidd, but only 100,000,000 if given to the Marines? Why would anyone turn her into the Marines if the price Kidd is asking is much higher?”

“Right?”

‘Just keep walking. Just keep walking.’ Water begins to appear at your tear line as you try to ignore the angry tears that threaten to spill. Your heart beats hard as you look at the ground, only sneaking glances at the trees to see that faithful 41.

“Please leave me alone! I’ll give you all my money. Just let me go!” A woman screaming caught your attention, making you scan your surroundings. When you turned your head to the right, down a dark alley, you saw a large masked man gripping a woman's wrist harshly. The scene triggered your own memory of being in her shoes.

“Please! Just let me go! I-I’ll give you all the money I have! Just let me go!” You try to pry his meaty hand off your wrist, but inside, you know it was pointless. It seemed your desperate attempt amused him.

“Now, why would I let something I caught fair and square go?” The way his eyes looked up and down your body made a shiver go down your spine.

“I could get a pretty penny selling you as a slave. You don’t mind, do you?”

“No! Someone help me!” You begged for someone to help her. The chances of your cover being blown would multiply if you jumped in. Yet, the more seconds that went by, the more your hope diminished. Images of that man two years ago, the day everything happened, popped into your head. The man begged for help, and all he wanted was to see his family, but no one did anything. All they did was ignore him as those horrible people arrived and killed him.

You couldn’t do anything then, but maybe now, you could.

Picking up your bags, you walk into the dark alley, your heart beating wildly. Looking up just enough to see the man’s chest, you crack your knuckles before speaking.

“Didn’t you hear her? Let her go.” The sounds of struggling stopped before a raspy laugh left the man.

“Your kidding me? A pregnant lady trying to jump in and help? What are you gonna do? Waddle over here and give birth on me?” His words only made you see red.

“I’m going to give you one more chance. Let her go, or else.” The familiar tingling in your fingertips reemerges as you wait for the man’s next move. Your fingers twitch as you can hear barely silent crackling.

“Oh, I’m so scared!” The man mocked you and seemingly gripped the woman's wrist harder. 

“You're hurting me!” As those final words leave the woman’s mouth, you curl your fingers into claws before feeling the tingling get stronger and the crackling gets louder.

Light began filling the dark alley, flashing and flickering as the ball of pure electricity in your hand started forming. Each snap of electricity only made you pour more anger into your attack.

“A devil fruit user? Go figure. Just because you have some powers doesn’t change the fact that you're weak-” After deeming it has enough charge, you throw it straight for the masked man. You watch him try to dodge, only to have it hit him directly in the chest.

The woman manages to pull her wrist free from the man’s grip before running behind you. Both of you watch as the ball of electricity disperses and runs across his entire body. You watch him grab his chest before falling back and landing on the ground with a heavy thud. Without saying a word, you watch as the man spasms on the ground, trying to get a breath in.

“We need to go now.” With the woman nodding, you both quickly walk away from the alley and into the road. Having all your belongings in your hands, you feel slightly drained. Your lungs burn as your mouth goes dry. Sure, you’ve used your devil fruit powers on pirates while in G-5, but that stopped when you found out you were pregnant. So it’s been months since you’ve used it on anyone.

“Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you anywhere else, right?”

“No. And yes, I’m okay.”

“Good.” Turning your back, you begin walking towards Grove 41 once again.

“Wait!”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you. I don’t know what would have happened to me if you hadn’t come.”

“No problem. Just make sure you stop using back alleys and stay on public roads.”

“I will.” You watch the woman run in the opposite direction from you and take that as your cue to continue your original quest.

~~~

After walking for what felt like hours, the familiar smiling lion comes into view, and you feel your heart jump in your chest. Seeing the thousand sunny after being in the dark for so long felt like seeing a miracle happen before your eyes. A new-found energy bursts inside you as you start walking faster with a new vigor.

‘I’m here! I’m here!’ Holding your belongings with a crushing grip, you can feel a huge smile spread to your face. You could hear laughter the closer you got, and your heart felt as if it were going to explode!

Soon enough, you were close enough to where you were able to see a clear view of the crew. You try to speak, but nothing seems to come out. It felt like it was a dream. Even though you were speechless, your presence seemed to be enough as a familiar face called out to you.

“(Y/N)?!” You watch her run up to you along with the others.

“(Y/N)!”

Not even seconds pass before you're encased in a hug. The feeling of being near them was enough to have you start sobbing. Being surrounded by pure love and care but the people you owe your life to felt unreal. You’ve dreamed of this moment for so long, and now that it is finally here, you don’t know where to start.

“You're okay! I was so worried about you!”

“Yeah, me too!”

“We all were,”

“I missed you all so much…I’m so happy!" Despite your limited ability, you try to hold everyone close to you. It’s been so long since you’ve been so happy that the feeling almost felt foreign.

“I can’t believe this is real. I was so afraid I’d never see you guys again!”

“Come on! Let’s go sit down now. I bet you're tired.” Through your tears, you nod as you let them take you aboard the Sunny. You notice a shiny substance covering it. 

“What's that?”

“Oh! It’s the coating that’s going to help bring us down to Fishman Island!”

“Wonder if Franky enjoys having his ship covered in bubbles.” Laughter erupts through the tears. Having your shoes crunch against the grass of the safety has a wave of safety washing over you. Sitting on the bench connected to the mast pole, your able to let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Robin and Nami sat next to you while almost everyone else sat on the grass.

“Where’s Luffy and Zoro?”

“They should be here soon. I swear if that moss head got lost.” You finally take off your hat as the sun is beating down harshly, making you sweat. With your hair finally being able to move, the strands that once hid the huge scar on your face disappeared. Leaving it for them all to see.

“Oh my god, what happened?! How did you get that scar?!” While you knew you shouldn’t have been surprised they’d notice it right away, it still managed to shock you. Maybe you just lived with it for so long that you’ve forgotten what you used to look like without it.

“This? Oh. I went face first into a corner of a crate.”

“Does it hurt? Here, let me check!” You watch as Chopper hops onto the bench before examining your face. 

“How you are not blind is amazing, considering where it’s placed.” Feeling Chopper's little hooves on your face causes a small warmth to erupt in your chest.

“No, it doesn’t hurt. I’ve had it for a while. And it hasn’t caused any problems.”

“What about this one? There's a huge one on the back of your head.” You feel Robin's nimble fingers gently brush through your hair, her gentle touch reminding you of your mother. The sensation made you bite your lip as you choked back tears.

“Can you do that again, Robin? It felt nice.”

“Sure.” Her calm voice and touch made your eyes close as you tried to regain composure.

“(Y/N)?”

“Hm? Yes Robin?” A shiver goes down your spine as you feel her trace the scar.

“Did….Kidd do this to you?” Simply hearing his name makes tears finally slip down your cheeks, and some even onto Chopper's hooves. With your vision blurry, you close your eyes and nod. Even saying his name would leave a bad taste in your mouth.

‘God damnit. I should be crying tears of joy! Not sadness!’ You argued with yourself as you tried to pull yourself together. Gripping your pants, you dig your nails into the fabric.

“How about we change the subject? Umm—” A loud rumbling echoes around everyone, making you hold your stomach.

“Sorry. I haven’t eaten a snack or something.” With the adrenaline finally settling down, you realize how tired and hungry you were.

“Do we have supplies restocked?”

“Of course (Y/N)-swan!”

“That’s good. I’ll just go get something to eat real quick.” Just as you go to sit up, Nami sits you right back down.

“Sanji can get it. You’ve walked all the way here, so Sanji can whip you up something. Right, Sanji?” The stare-down Nami gave the cook made a giggle slip past your lips. You watch Sanji run so fast to the kitchen that dust almost flies behind him.

“Okay, the rest of you, except Chopper, scram.” Nobody moved for the first 20 seconds.

“SCRAM!” Everyone begins to run in different directions until only you, Nami, Robin, and Chopper are left.

“Okay, now that they’re all gone, we can talk about more important things.”

“More important things?” Nami puts her hand on your back, and Robin continues to gently comb through your hair. You watch her look down at your stomach before looking back up at you sympathetically. 

“How are you holding up? Do you have any pain?”

“It’s okay. Not anything right now. I get migraines sometimes from the head injury and back pain, but that’s it. Just regular pregnancy things, I suppose.”

“Have you been eating properly and sleeping well? Taken a tumble or anything?”

“No. I’ve been stable on my feet. And almost all I do is eat and sleep.” Chopper lets out a sigh of relief.

“That’s good.”

“I do work out and exercise. Gotta keep myself strong, ya know?”

“We just don’t want you to overdo it. Pregnancy is no easy feat, so it's nice to hear that you're doing well.”

“How far along are you, do you know?”

“Six to seven months.” With Nami and Robin comforting you, it was easier to talk about the baby growing inside you. Yet the nagging thought in your head kept coming back.

“Do you think Luffy will let me stay a straw hat? Even after knowing that I’m pregnant?” You can hear your heartbeat in your ears as you look at Nami and Robin.

“Of course! You’ll always be a straw hat!”

“No matter what!”

“Everything will be okay (Y/N).” You put your arms over Nami and Robin and hold them close. Chopper cuddles close and hugs you as well. Tears fall from your eyes, and you never want to let them go.

“I don’t know what to do, your guys. It feels like no matter what I choose, everything is the wrong decision.”

“If I give the baby up for adoption, there's a chance Kidd will find them or the marines will use them as bait. If I were to keep them, the Marines and Kidd still would be after us. All I want is for them to grow up happy and safe. Is that really too much to ask?”

“No. Not at all. No matter what you choose, we’ll stand beside you.”

“You’ll never have to be alone again.” You see Chopper jump up from the shared hug with a look of shock and wonder in his eyes.

“Chopper? Are you okay?” Everyone split from the hug and looked at Chopper in concern.

“I felt them kick me! When we were hugging, I felt them kick me in the face!” Normally, such words wouldn’t have a positive reaction, but this seems to be a different story. Nami and Robin seemed excited, too, at Chopper's confession.

“Really?! Aw!”

“They know were talking about them.” Robin smiled and giggled softly.

“Have you thought about names?”

“Not really. I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl even.”

“Well, do you have names that you planned on naming your baby with (....)? Perhaps you can name the baby after them?” It’s been a while since you’ve heard your late fiance’s name—almost to the point that you’ve forgotten it with all the chaos that surrounded your life.

Kidd didn’t know your fiance's name, or you hope he didn’t. On one hand, you somewhat liked the idea. But at the same time, it’d be a constant reminder of the love you lost. You fear you might accidentally compare the baby to a person they’ve never met. And even though the baby was innocent, the fact it’d be the offspring of the man who took everything from you, having their name felt wrong and tainted.

“They deserve to be their own person, so I don’t think I’ll give the baby (....)’s name.” You rub your stomach subconsciously.

“What if they look like him? I know it’d still be my child, but…”

“Even if the baby looks exactly like Kidd, it doesn’t mean they’ll be like him. I bet one of my tangerine trees that they’ll be the exact opposite.” A chuckle leaves your lips as the ease Nami brings seems so natural.

“I’ll take you up on that offer.” You and Nami shake hands, and the sound of the kitchen door opening lets you know the food is finally done.

“After you're done eating, I'd like to give you a checkup to see if everything's healed alright.”

“Sounds good.”

~~~

After finishing your lunch, you head up to the infirmary. When you sat on the bed, you noticed just how out of breath you were. The stairs have been getting harder and harder each day. What used to be an easy task now felt like you were being asked to climb a mountain.  

“You okay (Y/N)?” Holding a clipboard, you watch Chopper walk over to you and look at you in concern.

“Stairs are just getting a little harder, but it’ll be okay. So what's your first plan of action, doctor?” It was always so cute to see Chopper get all excited when called a doctor.

“Can I check out any wounds or scars that may have happened since we last saw each other? I’ve made scar cream that is supposed to help reduce the size and stiffness that comes with said scars.”

“Oh, okay. There’s…a lot. Just give me a second.” You begin to take off your sweater before placing it beside you. Chopper's eyes widen as he tries to focus on a single scar, but there's so much more than the last time he’s seen you. He doesn’t know where to start, but he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable by staring.

“Is there any place you want me to check first?”

“I don’t know if there are any on my back, so you can check there.” you feel Chopper jump on the bed and start to inspect your back. The bra you wore gave the reindeer enough space to inspect your back. While it didn’t cover the scar you hated the most, you simply hid your chest with your hand.

“Not seeing much. Just small ones anyone could have." Chopper goes and grabs your left arm to check it out. You feel his hooves put pressure on the scars before stopping at your hand.

“Did you get shocked? What happened that caused all these small scars?” The realization that you haven't shown anyone your devil fruit powers yet shoots through your mind, and a small excitement courses through your veins.

“Chopper, can you let go of my arm real quick?” Chopper cocked his head before letting go. A big smile plasters on your face before you take a deep breath.

There were sizzling and cracking echos in the room as electricity started to form along your arm and slither around your scared skin. It gave off a flickering glow as you began to accumulate it in your hand.

“Woah! I didn’t know you had devil fruit powers! Why didn't you tell us earlier?”

“I only got them during the two-year separation. I’ve worked my ass off to have control like this. I’m probably not as strong as the rest of you guys, but I think this’ll help.” All your words seemed to go in through one ear and out the other as Chopper watched the electricity form into a ball in your hands.

“I’ve never seen an electricity logia type devil fruit. I didn’t even know there was one.”

“Well, here I am, haha.” Chopper laughs alongside you before he stops. You wonder why, but you soon figure it out when you follow his eye direction. Since he asked to see your arm, you left the branding scar open for him to see. The look of horror is present on his face.

“Oh my god, how did I not see this?!” Moving around to get a better look, Chopper stands next to you on the bed. Carefully moving his hoove near your chest, he stops.

“Is it okay if I check this out?” Swallowing the lump in your throat, you nod.

“Yeah.” You feel Chopper place his hoove on the scar and watch as his eyebrows knit together.

“Unlike the other ones, this one is raised above the skin rather then indented.”

“Is that…a bad thing?”

“No. The one on your chest is a hypertrophic scar, it’s normal to scar like this on ones chest. The others are simply atrophic scars. They're all fine, but…”

“But?”

“I just can’t believe it. With this being in such a sensitive place, I can’t imagine the pain this caused.”

“Yeah. It wasn’t a fun recovery.” Tears gather in your eyes at the memory. There are a million memories you wish you could forget, and this just happened to be in your top five. Remembering Kidd’s approach with that heated metal pole speeds up your heart rate and constricts your chest. Your breath goes jagged as the tears start flowing.

“I look like a freak. Everywhere I look is a reminder of him. How can someone ever love me when all they see is a disfigured shell of a human.” You begin to cry into your hands as the room feels suffocating. Tears slip through your fingers and onto your tummy as you try to catch your breath.

“What have I done to deserve this? Everyone in my family is dead, and I don’t even have a home to go back to! My entire island was wiped out in a single afternoon, and there's only five people who survived to prove the island even existed in the first place! Why do they have to perish while I live?! What’s so great about me?!”

“What’s not great about you?” You and Chopper freeze and look at the infirmary door. There stood Luffy with a big smile on his face.

“Luffy?” Dropping your hands to your thighs, you look at him through your blurry vision.

“I was wondering where you were! But Usopp told me you were in here with Chopper and-” Luffy’s happy voice soon cuts off as he fully registers the state Kidd had reduced you to. You watch his eyes zero in on the branding before his expression darkens.

“Did he do that to you?” He points to the scar, and even though you try to sound tough, you hiccup out a ‘yes’ as you feel your body shake.

“I know it’s their Jolly Roger, but I promise I didn’t want it! Please don’t kick me out, Luffy! I—” You stop in your tracks when you feel something be placed on your head. Rubbing your eyes, you see the brim of Luffy’s straw hat in front of your face. You are at a loss for words as your heart beats in your ears.

“You're not going anywhere (Y/N). I’ll make sure he’ll never lay a hand on you ever again.”

“Cause I’m gonna kill that bastard for doing this to you.”

~~~

Sitting in his workshop, Kidd twirls a sharp scrap of metal between his fingers while looking at the wall. All the bounty posters for the straw hats are plastered on the wall, covered in holes from the number of knives and sharp scraps he’s thrown at them. Even seeing their faces makes rage course through Kidd’s veins.

His eyes zero in on the captains before he throws the metal scrap at the poster. It hilts the man on the poster right between the eyes. His poster is the most shredded. If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t have been taken and escaped in the first place.

It’s been six months since you left the Victoria Punk, and every second has been a waking nightmare for everyone. While their captain had always been a hothead, he’s been ten times worse ever since you left. The amount of blood on his hands could rival the devil’s—and to many, he was.

The Victoria Punk has become one of the most feared pirate ships currently sailing. When the Victoria's big jaws came into the sight of any other pirates or marines, all they could do was pray. They prayed that by some miracle, Eustass ‘Captain’ Kidd would take pity. Unfortunately, the New World was not known for its kindness, and neither was he.

There was even talk about naming him a new emperor of the sea.

While the title would help him on his path to becoming King of the Pirates, it meant nothing if he still couldn’t find you six months after the fact—couldn’t find you or his unborn child. He didn’t know how you were doing, how the pregnancy was progressing, or what the gender was. It didn’t matter much to him because, in the end, they’d make a great future ruler of the sea.

“Kidd!” Bursting open the workshop door stood the right-hand man of the Kidd pirates. He huffed and puffed, trying to regain his breath after running from across the other side of the ship.

Moving his eyes towards the man in teh doorway, Kidd responds before throwing another scrap metal at the posters.

“What is it Killer?” Walking up closer to the table, Killer slams down multiple papers and photos.

“What am I looking at?”

“I know who’s been harboring (Y/N).” Jumping from his seat, Kidd gets closer to what Killer was showing him. 

“What?! Who?!”

“After looking through enough photos and newspaper, I’ve managed to pinpoint the marine squad that’s been hiding her.”

“Well?! Spill it!”

“Marine squad G-5. It’s occupied by Vice Admiral Smoker and Captain Tashigi. How many lower rank marines are on the ship, I don’t know but it can’t be anymore then twenty.” Gritting his teeth, Kidd looks at the pictures of each crew member.

“Next marine ship we see, keep a marine alive. We’ll use them to get G-5’s location.”

“And after we find them?”

“Kill every single one of them. I want that ship to paint the sea red.”

~~~

@rebeccawinters @iggy5055 @dairygrrl @childconnoisseur @menifire1092 @nerdgeekandeverysweet-blog @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @lovemesomefanfic846 @ryuv1i @carpinchootaku @misoxramen @pinkfoxmusic

[mikufigureoftheday]

i got a new shelf recently so perhaps it is time i show you my meeks (featuring some other blorbos)

both of the figmas ARE BROKENnnnn (one more visibly so) im never buying them again😭😭😭look at these thinfs wrong and they explode /silly (they were overproced too and now i couldnt sell them for 10 dollars live and learn i guess)

latest is dark angel who ive wanted for a long time but i only bother buying on ebay and there were fakes floating around for a while. WxS miku is hell on earth bc her parts cannot stay on properly, she looses half her hair when too much wind blows (exaderation but it did fall of several times while i was arranging the figures, her tail too)

thats why i love dark angel shes surprisingly sturdy, more then any other figure i gave. you could throw her off a building and that hair would stay in. bless

my old shelf was much wider so all my AMP figures could comfortably fit next to eachother but now they look kinda awkward, i really underestimated their size

my favourite mikus are dark angel and the alice in wonderland

UHM ALSO FOR THE LONGEST TIME I WAS CONVINCED THAT SAKURA WAS AN AMP FIGURE EVEN THO I *HAVE THE BOX* NO WHERE DOES IT SAY AMP 😭😭😭

ichigo_mik on ebay is my saviour they often have the best prices on ebay and the first time one orders from them you get a snack. also im aware i could find cheaper on other sites but i already have ebay figured out huehue,, biggest problem is probably customs in my country they dont give me as much trouble with anything else as much as figures

i also once bought a set of fakes because they were cheap and i found them funny but i dont have my own picture of them on hand rn but heres from the listing

i gave fake sakura to a friend bc i already had one real sakura lol. the one on the top right has very unstable hair so ive stashed her hair away, the snow miku is oddly big and heavy, the easter ones head is made from a weirdly soft plastic so her head is squishy 😭 and infinity is nothing special. i love my fakeus

im so sorry how this is written im tired ushvfzhsgt 😭😭😭😭😭

I've always loved that dark angel one, but the fact that she could also apparently be used as a weapon makes me love her even more LMAO

You've got a good grouping here, both currently and what you've given away!! I'm always glad to see the birthday cat one and that giant beach one on the bottom shelf is so cool.........

I love figmas, but I'm always afraid I'm going to break mine so I give them the like most generic poses to achieve stability (╥_╥) they look so lame next to the scales/nendos sometimes LMAO

Thanks for sharing all your goodies and the story behind your collection!!! 11/10 very good keep it up

[kuregure]

I wanted to share my ONS collection with you because, well, I'm literally putting my savings into it 😔

first, the main story volumes! I had ordered a large part (+20 volumes it seems to me) on Amazon and they had lost my package ☠ I was so angry lmao, so I preferred to order elsewhere

but 10 and 11 come from Amazon anyway and look at 11! I received it with a small rip 😔 that day I decided that amazon wanted to harm me or just didn't like ONS

secondly, the story that I prefer: the Guren light novel obviously. As I am French, we have had the 12 manga volumes since last year it seems (the last one came out last year I mean). Then the 7 in novels. And the 2 from the second light novel but in English because they were not released in France and there is no sign that Kana is doing so. (notice the size difference lmao)

I remember having a hard time reading them, I used Google photo translation for each page, with my lamp next to me. I had to make sure I flattened the page and that there were no shadows. (good memory)

these two fanbooks !

I was originally going to buy them on ebay because they weren't anywhere, but ebay prices are so expensive so I didn't but was close to doing so. Until a professional account put them on sale on Vinted (idk if other countries know about it but I think you have it too??) at a very reasonable price! so thank you 🙏 (I also translated each page from Japanese to French (once again a hassle)

HHHHHHH I got them on vinted too thank goodness (ebay sucks), I was so happy at that moment! It took me two weeks before I decided to spend my money on it! I only have half though but originally I only wanted to get Guren and Shinya. Finally I took them all. They are so cuuute 😤❤

when I saw that there was going to be another collaboration or whatever I was over the moon! look how beautiful they are! I still can't get over Guren's clothes and hair 🤧 so beautiful

I got it as a gift with the Sanrio badges. The person gave me a price and then said "I'll give you two official images of Guren if you buy the badges from me". That's what convinced me LMAO I'm weak.

but look, Guren with Hello Kitty is just AAAAAA

This was the second official image I got with the badges! I already had it but hey, it's Guren. Nothing stops me from having a duplicate. Plus, this image is really beautiful!

they are not official (because the official ones on ebay (AGAIN) were way too expensive for a single acrylic stand. Nonetheless, they are still amazing!

also, it literally took me several months to realize that there was plastic film on them, so I took them off and OH they were immediately prettier LMAO (that was last week)

damn I just realized that I can't put any more photos on this post 😔 so I'm going to make a second one! wait a second!

[my-plastic-life]

I did a thing... actually, I did several things. :D My ani-ME (anime doll version) needed manga in her house, so of course I had to make mini Inuyasha manga! I've done this before, but this time it's different... I didn't do miniature versions of the Viz BIG volumes. Nope, I did all 56 original Japanese volumes. Because ani-ME is in Japan, so she must have the original volumes!!! :D What a task this was - because the volumes are so old, it's hard to find high resolution pictures of them online. And even if you do, many times it's just the front, not the back and definitely not the spine. I found some, but then the front and back cover colors were completely different, some had text and graphics cut off from what was most likely a scanned image, the colors were inconsistent between various websites, some colors were clashing badly due to low quality resolution, etc.

So I literally made a template in Photoshop of the real size of the original manga (obtained via Amazon) and rebuilt EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. from scratch. I was able to find a site with all the original cover photos, and then I found the most high resolution cover I could find to duplicate the pattern that's on all books (colors vary), recreated the logo for each book (the character symbols and the gradients are all different for each volume), redrew the SS Comics logo that's on all books, and I even replicated each individual barcode. Because I'm nothing if not a consistent perfectionist. :D

For the backs, I used the images I found and just copied and pasted the characters and Japanese text, and for the teeny tiny characters I used the brush tool to trace over them. Even though I knew you probably wouldn't be able to see them in such a small scale, no way was I leaving them out! Consistency, darn it! :D

For the spines, I found complete sets on eBay and used a photo of the spines from those auctions as a template. I redid everything on the spine except the character head at the top of each, which is copied and pasted from the eBay files. They're definitely pretty low resolution, but hopefully it's not noticeable at such a small scale.

And the volume numbers? Try as I might, I could NOT find a font that matched them. So I got the most high resolution volumes I could find and made number templates... so each time I needed one of the volume numbers, I'd just use a color overlay on it and plop it where it needed to go on the front and spine.

Then the fun part - resizing them all to 1/6 scale. They're a little over an inch tall right now. And because they're not very thick in the spine, wrapping the covers around foam board to mimic pages wasn't working. So I had to make pages... for 56 volumes LOL. I just took my cover template, sized it down, and made it a blank white with a black stroke so I could see where to cut. I could fit 11 mini pages in one row across a regular sized sheet of printer paper (I used cardstock for extra thickness and stability), and I could fit like six rows on a sheet. I was able to fit 11 pages in one volume to allow the spine room, so 56 volumes x 11 mini pages each = 616 total pages I wound up cutting, then stacking and gluing together. But, of course, that wasn't a perfect fit, as the pages, despite being sanded down to be completely straight and smooth, poked out of the covers. So I had to wrap the covers around the pages, mark where they hit, and use an X-acto knife to trim the pages down before gluing them inside the covers.

But finally, I was done! It was time-consuming, but I love how these little books turned out. They don't open, but that's totally okay. That would be way too much work, and every time I make a book that opens, it never closes again. I did, however, manage to find some pages from the original first volume (in Japanese), so I printed a second volume 1 cover and glued those pages inside. So now ani-ME has an open book she can read too!

So there you have it! My mini, 1/6 scale Japanese volumes of Inuyasha - all 56 of them! I made that bookshelf just for them, but I intentionally left more room in case I want to add more manga later. But of course we had to have Inuyasha manga on the shelf - it's the most important! :D And the poster on the wall is totally a tag from one of my shirts LOL.

Showing off her new bookshelf stocked full of all 56 volumes of the Inuyasha manga:

Relaxing in bed, reading from the beginning:

Why yes, she is reading the Inuyasha manga on an Inuyasha pillow :D

All 56 volumes on the bookshelf:

What do you do with an Inuyasha shirt tag? Make an instant doll poster, of course!

Front covers:

Back covers:

Volume 1 pages (glued in order, right to left):

Size reference (shown with American penny):

[froggiebi-moved]

i swear nothing has been so validating and helpful to hear than other intersex people with pcos explaining that they had an alternate puberty than what we were taught to expect - because i did, too.

the first sign i had that i was entering puberty was the development of acne at age 8. even as a kid i knew how weird that was, as everyone around me still had nice, smooth skin, while i was the kid in the photographs covered in red bumps. it was humiliating.

as i travelled further into puberty, my boobs and body hair developed as expected, though the boobs got way too big too fast, and the body hair was patchy (but at least easier to maintain). my hips developed, too, but i always felt more top heavy due to the growth of my boobs, as well as the fact that my body type already had a longer torso and big tummy, the latter being a very common pcos thing. i had also been tall until i suddenly stopped growing at 14, giving me a squarely average height and dooming my legs to be forever short. i'm not kidding; at 11, i was about an inch shorter than i am now. i grew a measly 3cm in as many years, and that was it for me. i am now 164cm (5'4") despite my parents and all my siblings being taller.

as a teen, i tried to focus on how i was just like the girls now, how we shared this commonality (even if i had extreme dysmorphia from my body developing somewhat differently), but i couldnt help but be preoccupied with the state of my skin. i noticed the boys were not only more likely to have acne or to develop it early, they were more likely to have severe acne than the girls. my acne began to spread over my chest, shoulders, and back, and some zits were particularly painful and/or itchy. i didn't have cystic acne, but it was mild to moderate on almost every inch of skin down to my armpits. i thought of myself as a monster, fated to be the ugly, overlooked friend, the weirdo who couldn't get a boyfriend as they kept having crushes who didn't like them back - fairly typical teenage concerns to be sure, and one that i couldn't even express as different to my peers' as we were all hormonally haywire. even my irregular periods and heavy cramping seemed normal, because it was hard to find a teenage girl without a single experience of irregular periods and heavy cramping.

all the girls talked about using proactiv, clearasil and neutrogena to battle their pimples, and i tried what my mother was willing to buy for me, even dicey balms she found on ebay, but nothing helped; not until i went on the combination pill at 16. until then, i understood the boys who straight up pretended they didn't have it because either nothing worked, or there was nothing socially acceptable they could do about it - what millennial teenage boy would ever wash their face with specialised soap? don't worry boys, because i tried it, and it didn't do shit; the pill, however, was like a miracle cure. it didn't clear my acne up 100%, but it got better by at least half, and the redness calmed down. my face now seemed just as pimply as most other 16 year old girls, and i couldn't be happier.

i wasn't diagnosed with pcos until i was 19, after a decade of suffering and hating myself and questioning what was wrong with me and begging my mother to take me to a specialist. she even told me that as a teenager she only got pimples when she was due for her period, but didn't make that same hormonal link for me because i had pimples all the time. the constant dismissals and blaming, the shit like "you just need to be more hygienic! here, put toothpaste on your skin!" - it was all infuriating, and only succeeded in bringing my self-esteem down further.

the diagnosis helped a lot with helping me let go of a lot of the self-blame and shame i developed alongside my symptoms, but as an adult i have had other associated issues. since giving birth to my son, i have been growing facial hair that steadily became more and more noticeable, and it now has to be removed every week or so - just like my body hair, it's patchy, so i can get away with leaving it for a few days, despite it growing at the same rate as a typical beard. pregnancy changed my body and made that "topsy turvy" feeling even greater, as my bust is now far larger than my hips, despite women's clothing accommodating for the opposite. (though to be fair, this is also genetic, as my mother was more top heavy than i am; it's just another factor in the struggle of accepting my body.)

on top of all that, i have been struggling to understand my gender for the last decade, coming to the realisation i am nonbinary but itching to know what "flavour", trying on a bunch of different labels (mostly multigender ones that hover around agender), knowing i had dysphoria but not really understanding how as it differed to most accounts told by afab people. due to how my hormones work, as well as my nebulous dissatisfaction with my body, i figured i had to be a transmasc, or at least equally masc to fem. however, the more i heard trans women's stories pre-transition, the more i realised i could relate to them, and that i was doing the same thing - trying to conform to what i felt i had to be, though for me it was more that i didn't feel "womanly" enough to deserve being called one, despite wanting to be involved in the collective of women. trying to pigeon hole myself as transmasc or even completely agender wasn't realistic for me, and the reason my dysphoria was so great was because i wanted to be fem and to feel that i fit in - with women.

this whole confusing journey has been aided by my making the connection between dysphoria and pcos, finding out pcos is considered an intersex condition by the intersex community, being acceped into the community, and growing to understand just how complicated gender can be for us; i'm far from the only intersex person in this boat, despite sailing in it alone for quite some time. i've been calling myself a nonbinary woman / agender woman for a while now, and it feels right, even if it seems counterintuitive to perisex people. but i'm done trying to make myself palatable for perisex people, especially perisex cis people. i am intersex, and nonbinary, and a woman, and the "nonbinary" part modifies the "woman" part, and the way in which i am nonbinary and a woman is further influenced by my intersex status and bisexuality. and all of that is okay.

we are who we are, and when you have a community behind you, it'll quickly absorb the limitations you've put on yourself all your life. i see that now.

*terfs do not fucking interact*

[saintalectoshomeforwaywardgirls]

11/13/2023: Everyone, please meet Camilla Hect!

Camilla here was originally Just Like You #62. I was absolutely dead-set on finding this exact doll for Cam because of the following logic: I personally use the actress Ariela Barer as a drawing reference for Cam. Ariela Barer, coincidentally, played Sonali in the American Girl movie Chrissa Stands Strong. While the Sonali mold is used by a variety of dolls, #62 is much closer to Ariela Barer's actual skin tone (and the skin tone a lot of fan art uses for Camilla) than the Sonali doll proper (and Sonali is extremely hard to find for prices I'd pay, especially for a doll I'm modding). #62 also has what are described as "amber-brown" eyes, but look passably grey-brown in person, so I'm not going to have to eye-swap her!

#62, however, came with some beautiful, glossy, very un-Camilla hair.

Lovely, right? But very not her.

(Also, look at her face, she is so cute. All of the dolls are cute, but I am particularly delighted by the Sonali mold dolls, I think because that was one of the molds that wasn't released until after my original childhood dolls phase so it's new to me.)

Luckily, this provided a very convenient solution for another problem here at Saint Alecto's: Abigail's poor coiffure.

As you can see, the hair our dear Lady Pent came to us with has seen better days. To say nothing of the frizziness (which we would gladly treat if that were the only problem!) there's that inconvenient case of back-of-head bangs she had going there.

So!

As I have done several times now, I set about removing the girls' wigs. (I get my advice, as I'm sure many of us do, from @desertdollranch's rewigging post.) This is a significantly more stressful process when you're trying to maintain the integrity of one of the wigs you're working with! (And okay, Gideon's wig actually came on Harrow's doll so I have reused before... but it didn't matter if Gideon's hair got a little messed up in the process. It adds character.)

My beloved wife and fellow... uh, guardian (I guess? God, we're not their moms, that would be so weird!) of the dolls @incomprehensiblelentils was, as often she is, ready with the Magic Eraser for sudden trouble spots; she also provided support (literally: holding the girls as I worked) and company.

And lo and behold!

Abigail Pent now has a beautiful new hairdo! (And I am more convinced than ever that she's going to need some lipstick. Nothing crazy, just a bit of color. That's for another day.)

More importantly, Camilla now has her trademark bob, as seen above. It's the Hoshi in chocolate brown by PurplePlumWigs (and yes, it is kind of gay* that Cam and Dulcie's wigs came from the same shop! This is part of why we can't be their moms: so many of these kids are in lesbians* with each other!) Her overalls are by StarBriteDoll on Etsy; the boots and tank top are harvested from eBay outfits.

(Abigail's outfit is also from eBay: glasses, sweater, skirt, shoes.)

[firespirited]

I went a bit bonkers on leboncoin (local mercari) yesterday:

Incoming:

Rainbow Surprise Ameythst Rae

Hairdorables Dee 11" split hair with curls

Manky Signature Abbey to clean, deglue and bleach

Barbie Extra #1 (curvy carl aa - wonk?)

Damaged hair and lips Bratz Funk Out Nevra and broken Myscene Madison.

Potentially : Hair stripped Winter Wonderland Sasha (for her body and maybe keep the head for a yarn reroot someday).

One on hand, I'm so sick that I've deactivated my ebay sales and haven't listed a bunch of dolls.

On the other, 4 parcels to look forward to and that force me to go to the pick-up locker is the *point*. If it doesn't spark motivation then at least an attempt was made and most of the confirmed dolls were on the like-list... so they'll spark joy later.

The Cat Scan went well, they did an iodine contrast and it felt like peeing in the sea. I was trying so hard to not tremble during an anxiety and nausea wave that I wasn't aware of much else. The catheter made a mess of my arm coming out but was more unpleasant than painful despite the fragile area it was placed... then again my threshold of painful is pretty high right now.

Really pleased it wasn't an MRI, the cluh-clunk noise would have been hard to bear. My driver was a hard breaking type, I came close to throwing up. But also AC and tinted windows have changed the car experience so much. It used to be rough travelling in summer sun. It's night and day. literally.

----

I first went to amazon to get a treat but they haven't got anything i'd like in stock at non scalper prices. They'd have had my money if they'd import Bratz (Punk Sasha) and Monster High (Venus!), or keep the Rainbow Highs with one outfit and under $40; as for Barbie Basics, they're $45 😬.

The RH and BB are nicely designed but not "45$ nice" you know?

Of course I've ended up spending more lol but fixing dolls is part of the fun. The current project list is mostly small amounts of rerooting or repainting, I think I'd enjoy just cleaning and brushing, especially a that huge Rainbow Surprise head and Bratz with their thickly rooted saran and a fairly easy mika + gloss overpaint for scuffed lips.

[ayyeitssarahh]

Kinkmas Day 2! Billy Hargrove x Reader(Spanking)

TW: Spanking, Fingering, squirting, slightly Mean!Billy, maybe toxic!billy(if you squint), Soft!Billy, aftercare.(I believe that's it but lemme know if I missed any!)

(A/n: This is super late but I lowkey forgot so sorry abt that. Also I mentioned a taxi once or twice here and they probably don’t have taxis in Hawkins cause it's a small town but lets pretend ok. Also, There's like 2 maybe 3 time skips to get to the Smut faster. Anddd I wrote this at like 5 am so sorry if there is misspelling  Lol, Anyways enjoy.)

Word Count: 2.1k

“Do you have to tell him when you got out all the time?” Claire asks as we get dressed in her room. 

“No. He just worries a lot so I tell him so he doesn't.” I tell her, buttoning up my jeans. 

“Mhmm, sure.” She replies in an unconvincing way. I roll my eyes. Turning around to look at her. 

“You ready? I told Billy that I'd be home by 11 and it's 9 now. I wanna get hom ebay then because he said he has a surprise for me!” I said, getting a little excited. 

“Yeah yeah, lets go, it takes like 10 minutes to get there so lets bounce.” She said, grabbing her house keys and walking out the front door. Locking it once I'm outside too. 

“We’ve got everything? Keys, wallet?” I ask, just making sure before we actually leave. 

“Yep! Let's get going. Hopefully the line isn’t too long” She said, walking down the driveway. I follow after her. 

“We can always use our special charm! You know, being a woman and all!” I smirk, sending her a wink when she turns around to give me a quick look. 

“Jeez Y/n. You are such a weirdo!” She exclaimed. Getting into the taxi she called 15 minutes ago to come get us, me getting in behind her. 

*Time skip to the bar. 1 hour in*

The music is bumping in the background. Claire found someone to dance with about 20 minutes ago and since then I've been sitting here slowly sipping on my 4th drink tonight. A Bronx Cocktail. 

Looking around, I spot a pair of green eyes staring at me, a male, maybe one or two years older than me. 

I smile and look away, not noticing them coming my way. 

I take another sip of my drink, feeling a tap on my shoulder. 

“Excuse me miss, I noticed you're all alone and was wondering if you'd like to dance?” He asked, politely, might I add. Totally surprising to me. 

I blush, realizing I haven’t answered him yet. 

“Oh I’m sorry. No, I actually have a boyfriend so I don’t think that would be appropriate but thank you for the offer.” I told him, giving him a small smile. 

He smiled and nodded, “understandable. Well then, you have a nice night…”

“Y/n” I told him, “And you have a nice night too…:

“Shane” he said. 

“Well you have a nice night too Shane” I said. Giving him one more small smile and a wave as he walks away. 

A couple moments later, Claire stumbled over. 

“Who was that?!” She asked, hiccuping after. 

I grab her hand, helping her sit down, waving the bartender over to ask for a glass of water.

He sets it down and I push it in her hands. 

“Down this and then I'll tell you.” I told her. 

She rolls her eyes, ”Yes mother.” She said, downing it and slamming the glass down after, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. 

“Better?” I ask. 

She shrugs, “Kinda. Now, tell me. Who was that?” She asks again, shaking my shoulders. 

I chuckle, shaking my head, “That was Shane, I just met him tonight, he asked me to dance but I told him I had a boyfriend and he totally understood. We said goodnight to each other and he walked away. It was nothing.” I explained to her what happened. 

She shook her head. Getting another water. 

“He asked you to dance?” She asked. 

“Yes” I answered her. 

“And you said no?” She asked, like she was double checking I really did that. 

Annoyed, I nodded, “Yes! He asked to dance and I said no. I Have. A. Boyfriend. Claire. One that I don’t think would approve of me dancing with another guy.” I said. 

Leaning over, she took my shoulders, Looking me in my eyes. 

“Look girl, I’m not telling you what to do, you can do whatever you want. I just want you to have fun, and sitting here by yourself when I'm over there dancing, isn't fun. Now it's 10:30, before you have to get back, maybe asking for a dance, even just one could be fun. But if you just wanna sit here, by yourself for the next 20 minutes, then by all means go ahead. However, I am going to go back over there and dance with Danny, and then maybe go home with him, if you know what I mean.” She said, winking. 

I laughed, shaking my head, “I know what you mean. I just, isn’t it cheating if I dance with another guy?” I ask her. 

She shook her head, “No, not if you guys are friends and it's friendly. You said it yourself that he understood you had a boyfriend. If you just ask him to dance as friends, you're fine. And even if it's one dance, it can still be fun before you leave.” She explained. 

I nodded, ”Yeah, I guess you're right.” I said, thinking about it. 

“You don’t have to of course, but you have 15 minutes and like I said, one dance couldn't hurt and could be fun. Just think about it, ok?” she asks, standing back up, getting ready to head back over to Danny. 

I nod for what feels like the hundredth time tonight, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

“Thanks babe. I'll see you later ok. Call me when you get home or call me in the morning if you don’t go home tonight. If I don’t hear from you by noon tomorrow, Imma call the police. Understand missy.” I tell her, jokingly but also serious. 

“Yes, yes, I understand. I'll call you later. Love you!” She yelled, already walking away. 

“Love you too!” I yelled back. Turning back towards the bar. 

I sigh, rubbing my head before finally making up my mind. 

“Excuse, Sir? Can I get a shot of tequila please? Thanks” I said as he set it in front of me. 

I grab the glass, counting to three before taking the shot, making a face at how strong it was before shaking my head. 

I stand up, smoothing down my shirt, turning around, ready to have a bit of fun. 

*Time skip. 45 minutes later*

“You did not!” I exclaim, slapping Shane's arm as I die of laughter. 

“Yup, I totally did. I looked him up and down and showed him a shrimp. He was being a complete asshole and he deserved it for talking to my sister like that.: He said, laughing along with me. 

“That's Hilarious!” I said, still laughing. 

“What hilarious?” I hear a deep voice ask behind me. My eyes go wide before I quickly stand up and turn around. 

“Baby.” I said in a greeting. Walking over to Billy, I grab his hand. 

“What are you doing here?” I ask him. 

“It’s 11:30. I got worried” He said, his voice holding no emotion, his eyes staring holes into Shane's head. 

“It Is?! Oh my gosh, babe I'm so sorry I must have lost track of time. Lemme go close my tab and we can go ok?” I tell him, kissing his cheek before walking past him to the bar. 

I do that real quick before walking back over, Billy in the same spot where I left him. 

“Okay I'm good. Let's go.” I said, walking over to the table where Shane was at to grab my purse. 

“Oh yeah! Baby, this is Shane, we met tonight and he was telling me about how this guy was an asshole to his sister and all that. It was so funny. Anyways, sorry about this Shane. It was nice talking to you.” I said, grabbing my purse and waving at him, grabbing Billy’s hand and walking to the door. 

Shane waved back and in a second we were out the door. 

Walking to the car, Billy opens my side for me before shutting it once I'm in. He walks around the car and gets in, turning it on and backing out. 

Doing all this, unusually quietly. 

“Hey,” I said, grabbing his hand, “You ok?” I ask

He clenches his jaw, “You were 30 minutes Late because you were talking to some guy! What the hell Y/N?! I thought we said 11 because of the surprise I had?” He asked, slightly angry. 

“I'm so sorry baby. I didn’t mean to lose track of time. It won’t happen again, I promise” I said. Leaning over to kiss his cheek in reassurance. 

“I know it is not. Not after I teach you a lesson.” He said quietly, I almost didn't hear it. 

“W-what? What's that supposed to mean?” I asked.

His hand left the steering wheel, putting it on my thigh. Gripping it kinda hard. 

“You’ll see when we get home,” he said. And that was it for the rest of the car ride. 

Nothing but silence. 

Once home, he opens the door and lets me go in first. Smacking my butt a little to hurry me up. 

“Go in the room and get undressed. Everything off in 2 minutes” He said in my ear, walking off into the bathroom before I could ask questions. 

Part of me wanted to see what would happen if I didn’t but the other half didn’t want to see what would happen so I went with the second one. 

Walking in, I quickly undress and sit on the bed, waiting for Billy to come out. 

A couple minutes go by, when the door creaks open and he walks in shirtless. His jeans unbuttoned but zipped up. 

He walks over, and sits down. Looking at me then patting his lap. 

Thinking he meant to sit on his lap, I go to do that when he stops me. 

“No baby, lay across my legs, ass up dove.” He said. 

I slowly do as he says, slightly confused. 

He rubs my ass softly, massaging it almost. Until I feel a sting on it. 

“Ow!” I said, trying to get up but his arms held me down. 

“Hey- Billy , what are you doing?” I ask. 

“Teaching you a lesson dove. Now count for me. If you refuse or stop for longer than 5 seconds, we're starting over. Understand?’ He states more than ask.

I just nod, not wanting to make a big deal and just get this over with. 

“Good girl. Now let’s start”

He rubs my ass before I feel a smack.

“Count!” He demands after I don’t say anything.

“O-one” I say almost breathlessly. 

“Hmm” he hums, smacking my ass again. 

*A couple mins later*

“T-Twenty” I said, stuttering, Tears running down my face. 

He rubs my ass, soothing it a little. 

“Good job baby. We're all done. You did so good for me.” He says softly, still caressing my ass.

His hands, go over from one cheek to the other then slowly moving down until,

“Ohhhh”, I moan, my eyes rolling back. 

He slowly moves his finger in and out of my, then adds a second one. 

“Since you did so good for me baby, you can get a little reward.” he said, starting to move his fingers faster. 

I grip the sheets, moaning out. 

 I feel my orgasm start to come unbelievably fast. 

“I'm gonna, Oh god Billy! I'm gonna cum!” I screamed, cumming around his fingers. 

He slows down his fingers but doesn’t stop, helping me ride out my orgasm. 

“Okay baby, I'm gonna pick you up and lay you down. You made a mess so I gotta change the covers really quick.” Billy said, slowly pulling his finger out of me and removing me from his lap, taking the covers and then laying me down. 

I yawn, “Mess? I made a mess?” I ask, confused but also very tiredly. 

“You squirted all over my fingers and the blankets dove.” he said. Walking back over with a new blanket, shirt and a tube of something. 

I hmm, not really caring anymore about anything except sleep. 

“Alright dove, let's put this on, sit up really quick,” he says, helping me sit on a sore butt to slide a shirt on really quick. 

“Okay now lay on your stomach, I'm gonna rub this ointment on your but ro help and then we can cuddle ok?” he says, Putting some cool ointment on my burning hot ass. 

I nod, totally out of it now. 

“There we go. All done! Alright dove, let's go to bed.” He said, getting up to wash his hands and then turn off the bedroom light. 

He pulls the covers over you both, carefully putting his arm around you, mindful of your butt. 

He nuzzles his head into your neck, “I love you, you know that right?” he asks, but you're already knocked out. 

He chuckles and closes his eyes. So much for the surprise.

[jungleindierock]

Rebjukebox 2024 - No 1

Here's my first playlist for 2024, it's not gonna be a monthly thing, just once i have 40 tracks i like, then i will share it. So could be one or two or even three in one month and other months maybe none, this is why it's numbered. I am already close to No 2 being finished, cover done, just need to cut down to 40 tracks from the 80+ tracks in the provisional draft playlist. So could share this next week!! These playlists are great way to find new bands and artists and saves us having to post each on sepearatly.

I used to do these just through Soundcloud, but thought i might as well add it to my Spotify also. So i will add two links to the playlist and can use which ever one you prefer.

If your a solo singer or a member of a band, then follow me on my Soundcloud page here, if i like your stuff, i will follow you back, if i don't follow back then sorry but your not my thing. Whatever style of music is fine, i like many stlyes and will take a listen. You should always trust your own ears with music.

You can only follow 2,000 people on Soundcloud, so am limited. But if am following you there, i can see when you share new music, which means you could be added to one of these playlists or the main JIR playlist (one per month). What style of music is fine, i like many and will take a listen.

Enjoy and share, stay free, see you soon with No 2!!

Reb

Ok the links for the playlist:- Soundcloud I Spotify

Tracklist

1 - Paramore - Burning Down the House (Talking Heads Cover) 2 - The Delta Shake - I’ll Be Your Man (Alternative Version) 3 - Anja Huwe - Rabenschwarz 4 - Fat Dog - All The Same 5 - Loupe - Tested Waters 6 - Wynona - Feeling For Edges 7 - Nothing Rhymes With Orange - Friday Is Over 8 - Shannon and the Clams - The Moon Is In The Wrong Place 9 - KAWALA - American Adrenaline 10 - overpass - Stay Up 11 - Camens - Cynical 12 - Cinders - Going Nowhere 13 - Linn Koch-Emmery - Ebay Armour 14 - Grace Petrie - Start Again 15 - Neon Dreams (Ft. Matthew Mole) - The Art of Letting Go 16 - This Rebel - Same Every Time 17 - The Holy - Any Given Day 18 - Soundwire - Shake The Fever (Radio Edit) 19 - The Snuts - Millionaires 20 - Neck Deep - Moody Weirdo 21 - Softcult - Heaven 22 - Lurve - Pesnya O Lyubvi 23 - BARSTAFF - Tracy Island (Radio Edit) 24 - Sasha Assad - Bad Nature 25 - Red Rum Club - Hole In My Home 26 - No Windows - Song 01 27 - Mourn - Could Be Friends 28 - Sunglaciers - Cursed 29 - POND - Neon River 30 - Slow Time Mondays - Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time 31 - Jeen - So What 32 - stillcorners - The Dream 33 - The Marra - Masterpiece 34 - The Hubbards - Hiding & Reading 35 - The Cheap Thrills - Last Orders 36 - Aqualine - No Answer 37 - Torrey - Bounce 38 - Low Blows - Normal 39 - ParisBlue - Remedy 40 - Bombay Bicycle Club (ft. Lucy Rose) - Willow

[fairykukla]

I really fell hard for the Goodreau BJDs. I have a couple of searches saved on eBay and I sometimes luck into a deal.

As far as I know, nobody is recasting them, either, so I don't have to worry about that.

But back when Paulette Goodreau was still making dolls, there were deals as she started wrapping up her business.

Once upon a time, Goodreau had a deal where one could buy a set of 4 12 inch "Hint" boy dolls for $100. They were clearly "leftover" dolls from various high-end doll and BJD events. I bought a set and split the order with a couple of people.

My 12" Hint was named Alexander, partly because I simply could NOT find him a well fitting wig. He became my supervillain, idolizing Dr. Evil, Lex Luthor, and Megamind.

I had a whole storyline where he was a mad scientist with a fine college-prep internship with the local Monster High.

My roommate used hers for a resin-dying project that didn't quite work the way she wanted. He turned out a way darker blue than she intended.

I bought him off of her. He got an Indian face up inspired by Rama. Eventually I traded him to Silverbeam's Magic for my Octoboy.

As for Alexander, I sold him to a friend who wanted to get her teenager her first resin BJD. Said Teen already had a great 11 1/2 inch doll collection and so she was tickled to get a doll in that scale. I was so pleased to send him along to a new collector.

Then, last year, I found the 12" female Goodreau that I wanted. There were two face sculpts; Alice and Julia. I snagged a Julia for a fantastic price, particularly since she came with her special limited edition convention exclusive "Magician's Helper" costume.

And I think she's great! So when I had a chance at a 12 inch BJD again I thought maybe she would like a brother.

Hint came with this amazing outfit. I'm not sure of the artist or brand but it is a high quality outfit. I got this whole package for the price of the wig.

New Hint hasn't told me a name or pronouns yet. Hint appears to have been dressed as a girl in his previous owner's cabinet, so it could be that this is a She/They or neopronoun doll. I have Ginger who wears what they want, and Crikey who appears to be a gender and likes to wear things that are silly, regardless of gender. Nimona appears to embrace "whatever gender presentation is funniest at the time."

The only preference I've picked up on was "Long Hair."

I'm wondering if I wind up giving away or selling my male dolls because I don't have creative clothing/costumes for them? Time to start combing lots of Ken clothing for costume pieces, I think.

Julia loves her new outfit, though.

[isthedogawolfdog]

The Ultimate Masterpost/Masterlist of Wolf Books And Resources

Introduction

Hello hello, and welcome to the ultimate post on wolf resources, brought by me, a person with too much free time who recently had coffee for the first time in years and I can feel it. Before I start I want the reader to know that this will be a very long post, so be prepared! Maybe grab some water or something as you may be here for a while. (ending note, it took me five hours plus a few minutes to make this, it’s long).

So a while ago I made this post upon being asked for book recommendations on wolves, and I happily provided a brief but not entire list. I wanted to create a more extensive list, but have yet to have an opportunity to do so. Now that time has passed, I’m finally going to be making it. I remember how hard it was to find solid resources when I first started personal research on wild canids, so hopefully this post can help other wide eyed individuals who are hungry for the good Knowledge.

I few disclaimers before I start: 1. this list is not at all an exhaustive list of all resources, as there are likely many more I am leaving out. 2. Along with that, I am not an expert, I am simply someone who is neurodivergent and needs something to tether me to the real world or else I will lose it who has some free time and a deep love for animals, especially canines. I am pursuing a degree in wildlife conservation and rehabilitation, but even that is the extent of my knowledge. 3. This list will mainly focus on books, but if I have time I will add some other resources to (ending note: I had time :) ).

Without further ado (adieu?), it is 11:20 in the morning while starting this, lets get on with the books!

Quick Side Notes

Real quick, the following are names you will want to keep an eye out when researching wolves:

- Rick McIntyre (wolf interpreter; has recorded more sightings of wild wolves than any other person, he has a treasure trove of information and it is a dream of mine to meet him one day, now retired)

- L. David Mech (wildlife research biologist; focuses on large carnivores, mainly wolves, A+ dude who I would love to meet one day)

- Douglas W. Smith (wildlife biologist in YNP; project leader of the Yellowstone Gray Wolf Restoration Project, another dude I’d love to meet, now retired)

- Mark Bekoff (biologist and animal behavior extraordinaire; I’ve seen some info   such as intense vegan ideas (?), but I don’t think he would be labeled as an ARA, on the advisory board for Project Coyote (which I’ve heard has some ARA tendencies though I’ll have to double check), has worked with Mech)

- Thomas McNamee (author; served on the board of the Greater Yellowstone Coalition, I don’t think he’s a biologist but I may be wrong)

- Carter Neimeyer (wildlife biologist; was also a trapper for the government and a wolf recovery coordinator in Idaho, now retired)

- Daniel R. MacNulty (assistant professor and I think biologist?; involved in the Yellowstone Wolf Project since reintroduction (1995), hard to find info on but he created a very important book along with others Wolves on the Hunt which will be covered in this post)

- Other: Nate Blakeslee (author), Jim and Jamie Dutcher (authors), Aldo Leopold (author and biologist), Ernest Thomas Seton (author and naturalist), Daniel R. Stahler (biologist, YWP lead biologist to be specific).

Another note is that I was originally going to create a google doc with more info on these books, including ISBN numbers, cheapest ways to find the books, basic info, etc. but I realized that I could also put that here to prevent me doing extra work as this post already has so much. I will list the Amazon (hate the mega corporation, but I realize its the only option for some) and Thriftbooks, but eBay, Abebooks, and others may be of use too. Note: This post was written and published on 7/25/23, so prices may vary in the future!

I also may add that at the end of the majority if not all of these books is a long reference section filled with amazing resources. I usually highlight any of interest and save them in a doc for future use!

Some of these books are older and may be more expensive. If the book is old enough, sometimes there may be a pdf of it available online, all you need to do is google it! To find only PDF’s, search up the following: filetype:pdf (insert book name here).

An example using a real book is as follows:

I am all for supporting authors, so I’d recommend buying said books to read if possible instead of using certain sites that allow you to use them for free. Unless it’s like, a mega corporation run by shitty people, then have at it.

Lastly, the longer ago the book was published the more you should fact check it with more recent information. I’d venture to say anything before 1981 or perhaps even 1990 should be fact checked, juuuuust in case. For example, a the first book listed under books to avoid was published in 1981, and is now considered outdated. I am going to include books published before or around that just to see how ideas and theories on wolves have changed over the years.

Now that we got that covered, it is 12:03 PM, on to the books!

American Wolf by Nate Blakeslee

This book is an amazing source about wolf 06′s life, aka 832F, in YNP.  Not only does it follow the anonymous identity of the hunter who killed 06 and gives an insight on his part of the story, but it also follows the ordeal of wolves in court during 06′s life (2006 - 2012) and has personal insights from Rick McIntyre who followed and recorded data and sightings on 06 from her birth to death. I will warn you though, every time I read and reread this book I am brought to tears because of 06′s beauty and final days, as well as the reaction even the biologists had upon her death, who usually are professional and try not to be emotionally invested in the animals (which isn’t always the case). All above, a 10/10 book which will leave you stunned and amazed and bawling.

Find it at a bookstore or on Amazon for $13.99 and Thriftbooks for $4.39 to $5.79.

The Alpha Wolves of Yellowstone Series by Rick McIntyre (not in order, The Reign of Wolf 21, the Redemption of Wolf 302, The Alpha Female Wolf, The Rise of Wolf 8, and more to come!)

Rick McIntyre is a name you will see a lot on this list, namely for his knowledge on wolves, which he not only got from viewing wolves in the wild every day for roughly 9,000+ days but also from working in YNP, beginning as the worlds first Wolf Interpreter with the social/public side, and then along with the biology side of the project. His books cover the in depth lives of the wolves he’s watched over the years along with various science tidbits and research. An all around 10/10 series from someone who you may just catch watching wolves in the park early in the morning if you’re in the right place at the right time! Note: will also make you cry.

You can find some of these at a bookstore, but I’ve had hard luck with others. Wolf 8 and Wolf 21 are usually in stores, but the others are usually bought online via Amazon or others.

(In order)

- Wolf 8: Amazon $17.95, Thriftbooks $13.89

- Wolf 21: Amazon $17.95, not seeing any on Thriftbooks at this time

- Wolf 302: Amazon $25.99, Thriftbooks $17.49

- Wolf 06: Amazon $17.99, Thriftbooks $22.40

Wolves on the Hunt by L. David Mech, Douglas W. Smith, and Daniel R. MacNulty

This book may just be the biggest published treasure trove of information on wolf hunting accounts there is. From elk and bison to beaver and snowshoe hares (and fish!), this book covers real life, in the moment accounts of wolves hunting their prey. It covers wolves in YNP, Voyageurs National Park, Isle Royale, Glacier National Park, and so on and so forth, giving you an array of wolf hunting behavior in various areas. A must have that took me a while to get through.

Find it at a bookstore or on Amazon for $54.00, not seeing one on Thriftbooks.

War Against the Wolf: America’s Campaign to Exterminate the Wolf by Rick McIntyre

I know I’ve spoken highly of all the books on here so far, but I cannot emphasize how important this book is. War Against the Wolf is the end all be all of history accounts of how society in the US’s views have shifted and altered throughout history. From the moment white people came to the US and starting killing wolves, to the present day, it covers a lot, really helping you understand what wolves have had to go through. !!Trigger Warning/disclaimer for this book!!: I will note that a lot of topics touch on the cruel and terrible treatment of the wolves, coyotes, various wildlife in America, and the Indigenous in this book. If you have a big sensitivity to animal abuse and cruelty, maybe skip this one, as it covers horrendous treatment of animals. Regarding Indigenous peoples’, the book will mention a few ways the Native Americans were treated poorly, whether it be through being paid less for bounties for animal carcasses, to the scalping of the Indigenous along with wolves and others (yes you read that right, wolves and other carnivores such as cougars and coyotes were scalped by mainly white dudes who wanted them for a bounty). Though this book is very important in understanding the trials wolves have faced, it is not worth triggering yourself.

Hard to find in bookstore, if possible, but it’s $25.19 on Amazon, not seeing one on Thriftbooks.

A Society of Wolves: National Parks and the Battle Over the Wolf by Rick McIntyre

This book is somewhat of a beginner-ish/introduction to wolves. It was made around the same time as wolves were being/thinking about being reintroduced into YNP. It covers basics, like the life and growth of pups, the pack dynamics, hunting behavior, etc. but nothing too in depth. It’s a bit of a lighter read, but still a very good one!

Very hard to find at a bookstore, if possible, but on Amazon for $18.69 and $6.89 on Thriftbooks.

Decade of the Wolf: returning the Wild to Yellowstone by Douglas w. Smith and Gary Ferguson

It’s been a hot minute since I read this one, but from what I remember is has “portraits” of wolves, AKA snippets of their life in YNP. It has a fair amount of details regarding their lives and iirc some insight on their behavior. It’s truly a sweet book and really made me think about their individual lives and quirks more than I already did.

Haven’t seen it in a bookstore, but maybe? On Amazon for $16.95 and Thriftbooks for $6.69.

Books That I Have Yet to Read or Haven’t Read in a While

Now, here is a list of books I’ve read too long ago to recall correctly, or just haven’t read at all. These books are also important, and I’m excited to get my hands on them (whenever that happens) or reread. This list won’t be as in depth as the above one, but it will lead to certain links that’ll give you a description of said books.

A Wolf Called Romeo by Nick Jans

About a wolf who befriended various dogs in Alaska (wolfdog speculation?). $13.99 on Amazon.

Vanishing Lobo: The Mexican Wolf in the Southwest by James C. Burbank

About the disappearance of Mexican wolves in the south/southwest. $3.72 on Amazon.

Canids of the World: Wolves, Wild Dogs, Foxes, Jackals, Coyotes, and Their Relatives by Dr. Jose R. Castello

About various canines throughout the world. DISCLAIMER: Through a few sources and research of my own I have discovered a few things about this book: 1. the coyote section is very poorly put together and one shouldn’t take too much info from it, if any, due to many inconsistencies and mistakes. And 2. there is a section on foxes about arctic foxes specifically, but the animal pictured is actually either a silver marble color morph (no, not a Canadian Marble fox as that is not a thing and so help me if I see it again I will smack someone on the head with a stick) or a Georgian white color morph on a red fox (pretty sure it’s the marble but don’t quote me on that!) and is NOT a arctic fox. All that being said, probably don’t rely on this book too much without other info, sources, and double checking claims. $21.99 on Amazon.

Biology and Conservation of Wild Canids by David W. Mcdonald and Claudio Sillero-Zubiri

Not just about wolves, but a great in depth read on canids. $37.83 - $88.00 on Amazon just for a paperback.

The Wild Canids: Their Systematics, Behavioral Ecology and Evolution by Michael W. Fox

Not entirely sure what this book entails, but I’m looking for it anyway! $26.95 on Amazon.

Wolves: Biology, Ecology, and Conservation by L. David Mech and Luigi Boitani

A very good and must have book for canine lovers in general. $30.00 on Amazon.

Wolves of the World: Perspectives of Behavior, Ecology and Conservation by  Fred H. Harrington and Paul C. Paquet

Although very expensive, I’ve heard good things about this one, so I’m betting it’s worth it. $72.95 on Amazon.

The Grand Lady of Yellowstone: & Other Wolf Stories by Brad A. Bulin and Carolyn Bulin

A lovely book on what I believe is mostly wolves in YNP, but could also be about ones elsewhere. $14.95 on Amazon.

Wolf Island: Discovering the Secrets of a Mythic Animal by L. David Mech

Another lovely book by the legend of a biologist himself. It’s also more recent, so it’s likely to have up to date information.

The Wolves of Minnesota by L. David Mech

$23.04 for paperback on Amazon, cheaper in hard cover.

Wolves of Denali by L. David Mech

$27.02 in paperback on Amazon.

The Arctic Wolf: Ten Years with the Pack by L. David Mech

$29.80 hard cover on Amazon.

The Way of the Wolf by L. David Mech

$17.46 on Amazon.

Wolves of Isle Royale by L. David Mech

Want a break from the Yellowstone wolves? Check the books based in Minnesota out! $28.24 on Amazon.

Yellowstone Wolves: Science and Discovery in the World's First National Park by Douglas W. Smith

$32.55 on Amazon.

The Wolves of Yellowstone by  Michael K. Phillips and Douglas W. Smith

$19.99 on Amazon.

The Killing of Wolf Number Ten: The True Story by Thomas McNamee

$11:94 on Amazon.

The Return of the Wolf To Yellowstone by Thomas McNamee

$9.65 on Amazon.

Wolfer: A Memoir by Carter Neimeyer

A book on a wolfer (a name dubbed to one who kills wolves, usually way back when with violent techniques) turned advocate. $8.62 on Amazon.

The Wisdom of Wolves: Lessons From the Sawtooth Pack by Jim and Jamie Dutcher

The book I am currently reading. Not about wild wolves but instead about a pack that was captive bred and brought in for a film. $11.99 on Amazon.

Books on Wolves to Stay Away From

The following book(s) are things that are either poorly written or completely and utterly false. Keep an eye on these and take what they say with a grain of salt. 

The Wolf: The Ecology and Behavior of an Endangered Species by L. David Mech

This book was amazing at the time of it’s publishing, but throughout the years Dave Mech even admitted that he wasn’t fond of it’s popularity, mainly due to the section on “alphas” and wolf hierarchy that we now deem false. For these reasons I probably won’t read this book and wouldn’t really suggest it due to it’s outdated material.

Online Resources To Look Into (and Avoid)

The following resources are sites or other material you can use to find more information on wolves:

- The International Wolf Center (where I get a lot of my wolf news)

- The International Wolf Center YouTube Channel (a great place to observe and learn about wolf behavior, body language, etc. while you watch the ambassador wolves on camera interacting. Their FB is mainly promotional stuff but it also is a good source for information on upcoming events about wolves)

- The Wolf Conservation Center (they have a YouTube channel too, but I have yet to actively check it out, but I’d suggest looking into it for fun just in case. I think the FB group is similar to the IWC’s FB as mentioned above)

- The Voyageur's Wolf Project (the wolf study project in northern Minnesota)

- The Voyageur’s Wolf Project YouTube Channel (lots of trail cam footage and cool stuffs!)

- The Voyageur’s Wolf Project Facebook (here me out; FB is a cesspool BUT the VWP actually have a lot of very good posts on their page about the wolves they work with, just, maybe be wary when going into the comment section)

- I am hesitant to share this because I don’t want a sudden rush of people joining to clog up systems, but it’s still a good tool. If you go to this site or this FB page, you may be able to get access to the ancestry and lineage of the wolves of YNP, available on ancestry.com. I think you need an account on the site, but hopefully you don’t absolutely need to do the genetic test for yourself in order to access it. If you are able to figure out the instructions, please be kind, courteous, and not pushy when you contact the person who runs it because they are a person too.

- Bonus: You know I have to plug my favorite game; if you’re into more casual learning, the video game Wolf Quest, a game I’ve played going on 12 years now, is completely based on realism down to the genetics and behavior of the animals in game. The developers get a lot of their information from the IWC and wolves in YNP, even directly from biologists! Their blog also shows some interesting facts being implemented into the game, so it’s a win win.

A couple things to avoid is, of course, Facebook groups and general social media things. The above groups mentioned may be okay (just be wary of the comment sections), but any sort of media that seems problematic, AKA people interacting with wildlife, any ARA behavior, general endangerment of animals and other people, should be avoided. I’d also venture to say that anything that really pushes the dominance/alpha theory is a no go. I know some biologists still use the term loosely, but that’s for a few reasons that I will make a post about in the future.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I hope this post was helpful for as many people as possible. My instinct is to try and keep this information, frankly because I’m worried something bad will happen if I share it, but my therapist says that’s just anxiety, so hopefully she’s right.

Of course, you do not have to look through all the books and resources here. These are all from my personal research and I try to be thorough; you will not be any less of a “smart” person by not looking into everything.

(tw slight mental health talk ahead, just for this paragraph) So... yeah! It’s 3:23 PM as of now. I’ve spent roughly five hours on this post and I hope it helps maybe just one person. Wolves have quite literally saved my life, in fact the first time I read Rick McIntyre’s books I was in an inpatient hospital for an eating disorder. The wolves and their stories reminded me that I have to keep going, not for me, but to help them. I’m doing better now, and am planning a tattoo in wolf 8, 21, and 06′s memory for helping me through that dark time.

Anyway, enough with the sappy stuff, go on and gain some knowledge, I hope this helped! <3

[oftlunarialmoon]

Top 5 Hobbies for a Kawaii Lifestyle

Originally posted to www.onlyfunthings.org on January 11, 2019

Ciao lovelies! Today here’s 5 “Kawaii Lifestyle” Hobbies!

Now before I begin, I want to say that these hobbies are NOT the only hobbies that can be included in a “Kawaii Lifestyle”! You could do anything for hobbies and still lead a kawaii life. These are just some hobbies that may be considered “Kawaii” traditionally/stereotypically.

So now, let’s get into this super cute hobby list!

#1- Toy Collecting! Many Kawaii Lifestylers that I know of, myself included, collect toys! Some collect vintage toys, some collect modern and some collect both! Toy collecting can be very fun for many reasons. For one, if you have a more childish nature/if you’re an age regressor, you can play with the toys! For two, your toy collection can make great kawaii décor! Toys come in all shapes and colors and sizes, so you can carefully select what you want to display! Some Kawaii toys to collect that I recommend: Num-Noms!

As well as: Calico Critters (also known as Sylvanian Families), Shopkins Lil Secrets (Which are a lot like old school Polly Pockets), Squishies, Molang figures, Monster High Minis….ect! 

And going right along with toy collecting is…

#2- Toy Photography / Doll Photography! Another super fun and “kawaii” hobby is toy photography! Toys and dolls can be easier photo subjects (sometimes) than humans in my opinion because you can pose them exactly how you imagine, and you can take many shots while they hold the same pose! There are many highly poseable kawaii dolls like Monster High, Ever After High, Made-To-Move Barbie, and even BJD!

#3- Crafting/DIY! A big part of Kawaii subculture which isn’t really talked about enough in my opinion is the amount of crafty kawaii lifestylers! I’ve seen so many crafty kawaii lifestylers who make their own clothes, jewelry, accessories, décor… but yet I don’t see much discussion about it, and it can be hard to find good craft tutorials online for that specific niche! But crafty-ness is a big part of kawaii culture! I’ve even recently discovered a good place to get some kawaii stickers and beads for cute resin and jewelry projects, Blippo.com ! Blippo has many very kawaii items for pretty cheaply, just the other night I ordered a BUNCH of stuff for under $12 and free shipping, as well as a free mystery welcome gift! (my full review of Blippo is coming soonish, my orders are still in post). Another great place to find kawaii craft supplies is Aliexpress using search terms like “Kawaii Cabochon” and others like that. Just remember that Aliexpress is similar to Amazon/Ebay and you should always check the reviews before buying anything! (Note- this post was not sponsored by either of these sites, this is just my own opinion).

#4- Baking! Baking can be so much fun, and you don’t even need to make things from scratch to have a good time! Want to know a secret? Some of the best cakes I’ve ever made were with a modified box mix! One of my best tips is: “To make a boxed cake mix really amazing, follow the directions on the box EXCEPT: add 1 more egg than what it calls for, instead of using oil use melted butter (and double the amount), instead of water use milk!” This tip I found on Pinterest, and I’ve used it several times to make some of the best cakes and cupcakes I’ve ever made! ….So I bet you’re wondering how this hobby is particularly “kawaii”? Well, the decorating of course! Decorating cakes, cupcakes, cookies and more is one of the best parts of baking! You can make the baked good as kawaii as you want!

#5- Journaling! I know I mentioned this briefly in Wednesday’s post, but let’s talk quickly about how to make this kawaii. Again, you can use sites like Blippo.com to find cute stickers, washi tape, pens and pencils! You can also doodle in your journal and draw cute things like flowers, animals, and chibis! You can also press flowers in a journal for extra cute-ness. 

What do you think of our suggestions? What do you consider to be “kawaii” hobbies? Let us know in the comments!

Remember to Stay Awesome and Love Yourself!

[thedolldoctor]

Since I’m in the middle of creating prop prototypes, I thought I’d document making Baby here. Baby doll is one of Marcella’s dolls in the show Rag Dolly, a musical about Raggedy Ann. She is the the second doll to appear after Raggedy Andy. The original production had baby in 1920s garb, while according to one of the original scripts, the show is set in the Great Depression, meaning baby likely would have been dressed historically more like Shirley temple, rather than the drop waist which is too early a time period to fit (this is all my opinion, I just like historical fashion)

Judging by the fact that the show puts the dolls in the 1930s, I decided that the prop prototype needed a period accurate head, as well as costuming (that will come later) so I scoured eBay and came up with this:

(If you don’t like doll parts, stop reading. If you’re still here, carry on)

This is an actual composition head from the 30s, which is likely what baby would have been. It has tin sleep eyes and is painted with oil paints. The problem? These were often painted with lead. Yikes.

I donned an air filtration mask and gloves and got to work sanding, this is after three hours

(Eyes have been removed to fix later)

And after five hours: (I resorted to chipping very carefully at the paint with a box cutter, if you do this BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL.)

Now that the paint is off, you can prepare for filler and primer. I will be skipping back to the body however, since I don’t have paint supplies yet.

Take your head (please excuse my lack of continuity haha)

And set it on the table. Measure around the neck. mine was 11 inches, but this will work for any size. Divide that measurement in half to get the front neck measurement, and then in half again (you will be drawing a line from the fold of a piece of paper)

Draw a line from the fold. Make it into a curve. (This is the neck hole for the body) this is the only measurement I used. I held the head up to the paper several times and eyeballed how large the pattern should be.

Her shoulders are about an inch, and her limbs are drafted to fit the torso. The odd shaped hands are done to include stitched fingers later. The limbs are attached using doll joints, they are 45mm for the 19” body (19” without the head)

Finished body:

The zip tie casing is too large. I will fix that.

That is all for now! I hope to include more as I keep going:)