#but theres still something that didn’t get completely erased

[they-hermes]

heres an old comic i semi abandoned bc i got frustrated on, but the idea was what if mesothulas, freak that he is, modeled ostaros’s face after prowl. since he is the muse. and also the horrors of fatherhood and seeing yourself, a terrible person, onto ur weird son who literally is the most innocent being ever since he has no conscience yet to do right or wrong.

for the missing dialogue imagine mesothulas gushing over his baby and prowl going huh this guys weird af.

[deb0o]

My take of the merge

i had a conversation with FINA(i will properly tag her when i figure out her handle here) about it and though about reorganising and sharing my theory about how exactly i think the merge works, and why exactly oscar is so scarred about it:

In its simplest explanation, at least the way I understand it, the merge is the acquisition by the "host" of the experience and memories of all the previous hosts through the unification of the host's soul and the previous host's soul. By that definition its easy to ask yourself this question "If oscar is only going to gain Ozpin's memories and experience, thats a good thing, right? So why is he so scarred about loosing his identity?"

Well, if theres something that the merge made really clear it's that 2 souls can't coexist and only 1 will remain. Right now, i believe that the current consensus is that, obviously, out of the merge the person that oscar will become will neither be Oscar nor Ozpin, like how when you mix 2 colours it will always create a new one. And i completely agree with that, that Oscar will not be the same, however he will still be in lead.

In "The lost fable" Jinn showed us that Ozma was quite capable of taking complete control of his host, and in volume 5 Ozpin also forcibly took control of oscar when they were in a desperate situation. It would've been completely possible for ozpin, if he wanted to, to just suppress oscar and force himself as the main lead. So why didn’t he just do it?

Because like Jinn said it, Ozma (or in my opinion one of the oz's host at the moment, because at this point in time i don't think that this person was really the same ozma) learned to coexist with his host and by that i think that jinn meant that he concluded that the best course of action, moving forward, would be to have the current host in lead and let himself be (slowly) absorbed by him.

And in hindsight this seems to be a fine arrangement ! The current host gets to be himself if the previous host just willingly sacrifice himself !

Unfortunately wether they want it or not, i don't think that current host can get out of the merge unscratched. Oscar will loose a part of himself in this, that's for sur but he doesn't know what yet and that scares him. Even if he stays in lead, not knowing what part of yourself will be erased and replaced out of you is scary. Its one thing to be thrown into a situation he didn't ask and its worse to not even be able to resolve it as yourself.

There is also the fact that he has seen with his own eyes what Ozpin has become, how he lied (justified or not) and how secretive he has become. Those are maybe traits that oscar does not want to inherit from this merge. What if "he" becomes a liar too ? It would be fine if you knew that the person u would be merged with was an entirely good person. But keep in mind that oscar has access to all of Ozpin's memories and probably the memories of all the previous hosts, and there are surely things that he saw Ozpin do and completely doesn't agree to but unfortunately the universe is telling you that this will be your new normal in a few days? months? year? how much of him will stay and how much of Ozpin will he gain? And is he even going to get his actual good traits?

theres a good chance that the merge will work in his favour and he'll actually gain the best out of it but theres also a good chance that he'll gain the worst out of it

like, if you put this into this perspective, imagine having to merge with tyrian and killing what you swore to be the thing you would never do, becomes your new normal. Its like being under hypnosis, knowing you are under hypnosis and watching yourself do stuff you would've under normal circumstances never done.

when you describe it like, its easier to understand why oscar is scarred of the merge, he knows more about ozpin than us and ozpin said it himself "i've made more mistakes then any man woman or child".

IN conclusion i think that the merge keeps one soul in lead but as it is a fusion the host forcibly inherits random traits from the previous host, and what oscar is scarred about is to have his new normal be completely replaced by something he fundamentally doesn't agree to !

i do hope that i wasn't to rambly with this and that i made some kind of sense hehehe thanks for reading all of it if you reached this point !

[jail-buddies-au]

I like how you randomly appeared on my fy, checked out your art,read some of your AU and was like "yes,a person of quality.Mhm." *cutely follows*.

You are now obliged to share more of this (/nm) because this Au will now be on my mind for at least a month

“A PERSON OF QUALITY” M CRYIIINGGG SJDJKSSJ THANKS

Im actually just a silly person that didn’t like the ending of their hyperfixation so i said “mm no pass me the pencil”

Haven’t been able to draw much but i do have some loose ideas and info

I find interesting that without the last time travel in canon absolutely EVERYTHING would’ve have gone downhill, like normally in the past time travels takemichi did there was always a good change, something good that happened, like kazutora’s survival in Valhalla vs Toman, that even if the future ended up worse, that change was still something valuable.

In Kanto vs Toman this gets completely erased, there’s literally no way out of a bad ending, three people died with absolutely no recompense, because the future staying exactly the same as bonten TL, Mikey being far away from everyone, but with three more dead people.

Takemichi dies and all turn into this in the matter of a week

That’s kind of what dragged me to think about this, am i being redundant??? Also i felt the necessity of exploring more Mikey’s mental health through the manga, which was heavenly implied and tried to give it a little of closure, which was something that i really wanted.

Now, there IS in fact a last time travel in this AU, but unlike canon, they don’t go back to the beginning beginning. Mikey travels back to this exact moment

I think that the time capsule moment was a very nice point to travel to, idk how to write a coherent paragraph so lemme just do it like this:

- Characters who’s death ate important to other characters development remain dead (shinichiro, baji, emma, izana) THAT ALTHOUGH IT HURTS ME SO MUCH, i didn’t like that everyone suddenly revived

- here is when Mikey starts to get actual fucking help LMAO, like while they were burying the time capsule, Mikey already knew what he was end of being, he literally planned a twelve-year-long su!cide at that moment. So i think that for the final TL to get a happy (as much as it can) ending is taking that plan back and actually start a healing journey with everything that has happened am i overthinking too much?

- ANYWAY, imma be fully transparent, i don’t know when exactly Mikey travels back, I know that he’s the time traveler because of michi giving him the power before dying, and Kazutora is the trigger. But idk if make him travel back the day Kazutora gets released from jail or before (still gonna keep him some good years behind bars tho)

NOW I CAN START WITH SILLY STUFF

- Theres a stray cat that lives in the prison called Arepa, all the prisoners know her

- Kazutora is REALLY well behaved in prison, and he has some privileges bc if that of course, Mikey thinks that’s a lie and that he actually sucked off some guard to have said benefits

-on the other side, Mikey is completely unstable, one day he can be rotting inside his sell not giving a fuck about anyone, and the other he can be fighting to death with another inmate

-he has been in solitary confinement more than once

- Kazutora receives letters from chifuyu every now and then, Mikey received a lot from Sanzu and even one from koko but he never answered, he wants to be forgotten just like in Bonten TL

-Chifuyu testified in Mikey’s trial, he also visited him once, that conversation is very well daydreamed in my head kakdjsksjjs

- There’s a good amount of mental health talk in this AU bc of course that Mikey and Kazutora in the same room was a great idea of me, so if you’re sensitive to that be careful 💙

-right now I’m drawing a little comic about Sanzu and Senju but i just have the sketch for now forgive my sins, and there’s actually a lot of panels and convos i have already like completely finished in my head, like when Mikey travels back? That’s COMPLETELY planned already jajdjsjsj im just slow

That’s all I think???? (It’s totally not but if I remember something ill post it or edit this)

Lemme know your thoughts before i consider myself cringe and delete all this text ISJDJDJSJJSJS

[kaz11283]

hellooooo! congratulations on 100 followers!!

i was wondering, if you could write one-shot with “Hey guys, it’s me! The biggest disappointment you know”, loki × reader? thank you!

Hey Guys, It's Me! The Biggest Disappointment You Know.

Characters: Loki, Thor, Tony, Pepper, avengers

(Tony, Pepper x Daughter! Reader, Loki x Reader, Thor X Platonic! Reader, Avengers x Platonic! Reader)

Warnings: None, humor

Summary: you've been dating Loki behinf everyones backs for a few months now, your dad and mom find out about it and they are not very happy with the decision that you've made

ANNOUNCEMENT: I have been enjoying doing these one-shots SO much! They have really been helping me branch out and giving me more stuff on my master and I am absolutely enjoying the feed back so much! Thank you to all of my new followers amd my old ones alike! Please keep the requests coming! Most of the time these are only taking a day or two to put out. FEED BACK IS GOLDEN, REQUESTS ARE OPEN. If you don't see something you want or you want to send a diffrent one in its more than welcome too! 💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~~

"Loki, stop." You laughed as he kissed your neck. The theater room was empty, the two of you had put a movie on to watch while the others were away on a mission. He had been left behind because the rest of the team still didnt trust him in the field. Of course if your dad had known that the two of you were a thinh he would have let him tag along.

"Why must I stop? No one is here for now, lets enjoy what little time we have together." He said kissing your neck causing you to giggle more.

"I cant wait till we can actually be open about this. I just wish they understood." You sighed playing woth the ends of his hair.

"One day my dove maybe your father will accept me. Until then I'm happy either way." He smiled down at you.

"I'm getting to the point where dad ca-"

"Where your dad can- WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?" Tony had walked into the theater room. You and Loki sprung apart, Loki to the end of the couch, you had fallen to the floor.

"When did you get home?" You asked standing up.

"I asked first. What. The. Hell. Is. Going. On? Y/n." You could see his face turning red.

"Kissing, we were just kissing." You stumbled over your explanation.

"Ah brother, you have decided to court the young Lady Starkling." Thor smiled walking into the room.

"Oh my god." You mumbled placing your face in your hand. "Oh all nine realms." Loki made the same gesture as you rubbing between his eyes.

"NO! NO, NO ONE IS COURTING ANYONE!" Tony yelled turning back to thor

"You, room, now." He pointed to his ans your mothers side of the tower. "You, your just lucky I haven't decided to kill you." He said pointing at Loki.

"See ya later" you waved at Loki before following your dad down the hall.

"No she wont!" Tonys annoyed voice came after.

--

"Brother this is good, she is a beautiful woman for you. She will not tolerate you mischief, possibly even put you in your place." Thor saod happily slapping Lokis back.

"I am sure brother whatever we had will end tonight if Tony has anything to say about it." He saod getting up to walk to his room. Steve stood there with Bucky watchjng what had happened.

"But if you know y/n she wont listen and shes still gonna be with you if Tony like it or not." Steve shrugged.

"But if you hurt her." Bucky shrugged looking at Loki. "You know the rest."

--

"This is absolutely embaressin y/n, why? Why him of all people? Hes no good!" Your dad yelled stepping out of his suit.

"Your gonna give your self a heart attack screaming and getting yourself worked up the way you are." You said crossing your arms.

"Hes killed people, hes tried to take over New York, for god sakes he brainwashed Clint! Theres no telling what the psychopath will try to do next! Your not seeing him any more."

"Dad! He was brainwashed, he was tortured. You've never been told that you wasnt good enough, thrown to the side, lived in the shadow of your brother! What do you plan on doing to keep us away from each other? You won't let either of us go on missions. You don't trust him enough and your to afraid that I'll get hurt."

"You'll just stay locked up here with Pep."

"Great so I'm the modern day freaking Rapunzel. Thats not gonna happen."

"Tony," your mom came and put her hand on his arm automatically calming him. "I remember a certain someone that my parents didn't trust or want me to be around." She said calmly. "And you remember what I did? I went with my heart. And out of it I have a beautiful daughter, who tends to take more after her father, and another one on the way."

"Don't lie, I gave your parents a crazy amont of money for you." Your dad said rolling his eyes.

"Tony!" Your mother said smacking his arm.

"Your not dating him y/n, end of discussion. I am very disappointed in you about this, not because its him but because you kept it from us. Go to your room." Tony sighed.

"Its not your decision on who I date, besides do you blame me for keeping it secret? Look how your treating not only him but also me." You turned to walk back to your room on the other side of the tower.

--

The next morning you was in your gray sweat pants with a gray tank top on and a emerald green zip up hoodie, you smiled to yourself as you realized you had on his color. You shoved your hands in your pockets as you walked into the kitchen where everone was eatting breakfast including Loki.

"Hey guys, its just me, the biggest disappointment you know." You saos walking over to take a seat beside Loki.

"Is this smart?" He asked leaning over to whisper.

You turned your head toward him and placed your hand on his face. "Everyone knows, I don't give a rats ass about what dad thinks, I want to be open and be happy." You leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. He pulled back with a suprised look on his face.

"Oh Jesus Christ y/n, intold you la-" your dad started as he walked in the door

"And I told you I wasnt going to listen." You looked over at him as you took a bit of your eggs.

"Like father like daughter." Your mom laughed shaking her head.

"Young Lady Starkling! You are wearing my brothers colors! The courting continues then!" Thor laughed as he slapped you both on the shoulders, both of you groaned and put your face in your hands.

After Thor had fully embaressed both of you it took no time for the rest of the team to join in, your father still wasnt happy about it but he could get over it. This made you happy; he, Loki of Asguard, made you completely and utterly happy.

~~~~~

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: I'm not gonna lie. I had this almost finished yesterday and for some reason the app gitched and erased what I had not saved (lesson learned) so I was honestly so irritated that I just left it to finish today. I am very happy with how this turned out. I am extreamly happy with all the feed back i am getting. Thank you guys so much! My tags are open as always! 💚💚💚💚

Tag list:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

[henqtic]

Hi, can I request a Draco x reader in which they are best friends and reader is narcissistic, so when Draco starts to change in their sixth year, reader gets angry with him and ends their friendship until Draco tells her about his dark mark and reader realize how she is and try to improve. With a happy ending in which after winning the war both confess their feelings. im sorry if it's confusing

I can do better - d.m.

- word count: 2.2k

- warnings: mentions of scratching skin, please contact me if theres more !

- a/n- I’ve never really had an encounter with a narcissistic person and I don’t exactly know how to write them out so I did sort of switch that part up but everything else is the same <33

- masterlist | draco malfoy masterlist | gif creds | taglist form |

Countless years of friendship, down the drain all because he had been acting differently. Ever since your sixth year had started, Draco had been off. Quitting quidditch when he was so close to becoming captain— something that he had been determined to do ever since he made his way onto the team in your second year.

He’d rant on and on between lessons of how you should be honored to be talking to Slytherins future star player and quidditch captain. 

There also weren’t any more occurrences where he’d stay up countless hours with you as you as you went on and on about the different aspects of astronomy— something that you had been overly interested in ever since you took the course as one of your electives in third year because you didn’t want to take ancient runes.

That was the same year you started to see him differently, maybe in a way that friends shouldn't have. And you played it off as something small, it’s not wrong to think your best friend looks good a few days out of the week, it’s just something friends do.

Well that was what you were telling yourself as you got used to finding even the smallest things he'd do cute. But it seemed that you weren't the only one having those feelings, that he had seemed just as interested as you were, so you grew comfortable with the situation and the attention.

The comfort of it all had grown even more when you were the first one he asked to accompany him to the yule ball without a second thought and you didn’t hesitate to say yes.

And even after everything that had happened last year with his father getting thrown into Azkaban, he hadn’t pushed you away but you were the first shoulder he came to cry on, and shamelessly at that. He wasn’t embarrassed in the least because he trusted you that much. Why wouldn't he?

It hurt that those were no longer the circumstances but that they were now almost the complete opposite. The shock of no longer having him and being his main source of attention scared you, it made you irrationally jealous at the thought of maybe he had moved on to someone else.

And while all of that was wrong, you couldn’t see it because your focus was on what you had lost and were no longer getting. So you were the person to end that friendship.

When you had told him that you no longer wanted anything to do with him, he seemed like he didn't care, almost like he wanted you to let him go and it made a deep pit form in your stomach.

It had only grown as you’d watch him from across the dinner table, bags prominent under his eyes and as days passed, he started to look more and more sickly.

To say the least, you had been riddled with guilt and thoughts of if you even should be— if you thought about it, you only hurt him before he could hurt you. But for some reason, it feel that way.

You decided to talk to him again, not as an apology but more of a deal that you could just move on and not think about because. It’s like when your parents call you to dinner instead of saying sorry for yelling at you, thinking that food was a piece offering.

So now you were roaming the halls in nothing but your pajamas and school robes remembering the times where Draco would be here on your side.

It was almost a daily thing for you both. You’d get tired of all of the homework that was required by the professors so you’d go and run around to try and get your ‘creative juices’ to come back. And while all of that did pain you, you were almost certain. That everything would go back to normal and things would be fine.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a cry sounding through the wide halls and you quickly realized it was a very familiar cry. And instead of just ignoring it, curiously took over, persuading you to follow to the source of their sounds. Moaning myrtle's bathroom.

You hadn’t a chance to ask what was or had happened before the ghost gave you a look of deep sympathy and floated into one of the nearby stalls. A splash followed, alerting you that she had gone down the toilet leaving you time to carefully step through the open space.

You tried your best to approach the person without disturbing them completely, but when you identified them, it was much harder.

“Draco is- is that you crying?” You asked, catching sight of the boy on the ground, left arm clutched to his body as if he had just burned himself.

“It’s not like you would care l/n,” he scoffed, trying to wipe his face and pull down his sleeve before you could get completely in front of him.

The last time you checked the clock, it was three in the morning and for some reason he still had his uniform on. The only sign of comfort was that his tie was a little loosened— had he not gone to sleep at all?

“Why can’t you just tell me what’s wrong,” you huffed, once again getting irritated that he wouldn’t tell you anything going on. The thought not coming up into your head that maybe if he didn’t want to be so open about this topic, maybe it was for good reason.

“You’re the one who said you didn’t want anything to do with me so, I’m good thanks.” He wasn't anywhere as upset as you were, more hurt if you will.

“You didn’t seem to care much when I did tell you,” you countered, making him exhale deeply and run hands through his hair.

“It was for your safety. Don’t you understand that?” Your face scrunched in confusion of what was so top secret that he couldn’t even tell you to ‘keep you safe.’ He was already tired of the argument and decided to not answer you, in words at least.

His hand swiftly went down to the end of his sleeve to reveal to you his, what should have been bare arm, but there was a mark, a dark mark. Your eyes stayed on his arm for seconds you didn't take the time to count.

Not only was the mark of the dark lord staring at you but so was the amount of irritated skin around it. There were scratches, old and new, liked he thought the actions would erase the marking.

Your eyes slowly shifted to look into his glossed over ones, staring down at the spot that you previously were, But instead of the stare being out of shock, it was a mixture of shame and disgust. “I am sorry Draco. I didn’t even think that you would—”

“I didn’t have much of a choice, it was either this or my family gets killed,” he revealed, disgust lacing his voice.

Had you been that blind? Now that you're thinking of it, you hadn’t even asked him once if he was okay but complained about him never having time for you now.

And it was pretty obvious that a sixteen year old death eater being in Hogwarts couldn't mean anything good. He was probably under so much stress and you, someone who was supposed to be there for him wasn’t.

“Draco I—” 

“I don’t need your poor try at an apology,” he said harshly, moving his arm out of your hold.

“No, really I—,” you choked on your words as if you didn’t have the ability to mutter a simple apology. Wait, had you always been that way?

“I am so sorry for everything and I know that I should've been so hard on you. I can’t imagine how horrible this year has been for you. I don’t even know how I completely overlooked you.”

You hated the way you made him feel, you hadn’t even thought your actions were that harmful seeing as you had always been that way. And that's when the realization hit, you had always been that way.

There were probably so many other occasions where you put yourself over others without a second thought and all the friends that you had, that had distanced themselves from you weren’t for no reason, but it was for that one.

You were suddenly pulled into his body, strong arms finding their way around you. The embrace wasn’t desperate, no, it was more of a silent plea that you’d stay and at least try to change your ways.

And you were going to do so much better than that. Your arms moved to hug him back, a sense of security coming over you both, enough so for him to let go and crumble into your arms once again and simply, cry.

After that night, your relationship slowly rebuilt itself, even though the first few days had been awkward seeing as he hadn’t truly accepted your apology, and understandably. But that only made you so much more determined to change, to improve not for only yourself but for the people around you.

And that’s just what you did, re-become the shoulder that was always available to cry on and the ears that were always open to listen when he needed to vent about not being able to fix the cabinet and how stressful it was.

Not to mention when he was done with it, he didn’t know how he wouldn’t mess up on the task of killing the headmaster.

But that also led to you trying your best to make him laugh again, and even though it wasn’t about seeing a boyish smirk come over his face as he jinxed unsuspecting students it was still something.

It was enough for you to see a sliver of a smile come over his even if it was from you tripping over the things in his room.

And when you finally did successfully make him let out a genuine laugh you were over the moon, you didn’t remember what it was he laughed at because immediately after you started cheering, that mission make Malfoy smile again had been completed.

That was probably the day that you realized that those feelings of more than platonic friendship were coming back.

That didn’t stop the crying you both did the night before he had to leave Hogwarts because while it does sound selfish, you wish he could've stayed that he didn't have to leave because you were going to miss him.

You even went to the extent of trying to convince him to let you join him but he immediately shut you down, not even entertaining the idea.

The manor wasn’t anything like it had been through your childhoods, but now it was stuffy and riddled with death eaters at every door. And there was no way he was going to willingly put you in that situation so you stayed at the castle.

Months later he was back at the school and of course, desperate to see you again. The last year had been hard for everyone and it was probably one of the worst for Draco. Not only did he figure out that his third year crush on you wasn’t so simple anymore but he had also realized it was so much more than that.

Standing by your side, on the side of Hogwarts only reinforced that idea. And as his parents beckoned for him to join them, he didn’t want to.

He wanted to choose the side that had been screaming out to him ever since he had become a death eater. And you were the one to not push him to stay or leave. But the slight squeeze to his hand was letting him know that whoever he did choose, you would be there right by his side.

And now as he watched Voldemort's body deteriorate, chipping and floating away like a piece of paper, a feeling of relief came over him, it was all over. 

But that wasn't the only feeling that came over him because now he was determined, determined to tell you just how he felt and that’s what he did, hands still tightly weaved together as he pulled through the ruble.

You beat him to it though, confessing how much you loved him. And how throughout your years of Hogwarts he had always been such a great friend to you and how much you adored him even when he had his flaws. How you appreciated how he gave you a second chance, one to grow and one to improve on yourself.

And soon after that, he realized that you were in the same condition that he was and it wasn’t sickness but love; giving his own sappy take on confessing his feelings, you hadn’t only felt love Darco and he hadn’t only felt love for you but it was the feeling of being in love.

Draco Malfoy was completely and utterly in love with the girls standing in front of him at this moment and you felt the same for that boy standing in front of you.

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[drabbles-of-writing]

Thinking abt the angst of amity coming to school one day and completely avoiding or being unresponsive to Luz and co. Hasn't said a single word the entire day, so Luz keeps doing more weird and annoying things to get SOME kinda rise out of her. Finally she gets Ams to make some snide comment and Luz, being the fang freak she is, zeroes in on the golden flash in her mouth that wasnt there before, right where her normal fangs should be. "Hey what's up with your teeth?"

Y’all can make the AU’s where Amity’s fangs get torn out and she gets gold implants but I REFUSE. I hint at extreme angst all the time but I can never bring myself to do like. Most of it. Sometimes. HOWEVER, Amity is not immune to gold dental caps and hoping that making her teeth golden is good enough and won’t make her mother also want to just tear them fuckers out and make them smaller implants. 

Luz is used to Amity being all snide and avoiding them for a day or two. However, this is usually after a fight where Luz did something stupid, like spitting blood in her 1969 dodge charger you little SHIT this is EXPENSIVE AND V I NT A GE-- But as far as Luz knows, nothing happened. Well, they had a Bonding Moment last night but theres no way Amity was mad about that, right? After realizing she’s still avoiding her after the end of the first day Luz starts to try and talk to her. In their ‘ugh’ way of “hey, dumbass cat, can I at least know what I did this time?” but Amity just gives her a side-eye and then. leaves. which is very unlike her.

Luz eventually realizes that something is Wrong. Amity is suddenly a lot more reserved, and it’s like she’s looking at the old Amity she knew when she first came to the school, but that will to fight was sucked out of her. Luz of course thinks that Amity got hit with a mind erasing/setback potion and flags down the twins, who are also a little more reserved and grumpy. Em explains their mother doesn’t exactly...like Luz. And since she talked to the twins about it, Em is willing to bet she talked to Amity about avoiding Luz. Though she is quick to tell her that their mother has a LOT of power, and the fact that Amity went through the trouble to AVOID her is more than the twins expected her to react with. She didn’t even stop talking to Boscha when her mother was iffy on her, and Amity HATES Boscha, and that just made her mother get used to Boscha.

So then Luz is trying to appear at Amity, tell her that she knows her mother talked to her (though she doesn’t know exactly what it was) and that can they just talk, please? When that doesn’t work, Luz is just doing the stupidest shit to get her attention. Dealing with random weird monsters that came into the school, fumbling around with King when he broke in again, basically all her normal stuff but she doesn’t try to hide it so to avoid getting in trouble with Lilith. Of course, Amity ends up involved in one of them and the two find themselves sitting outside Lilith’s office, a scene they both became very accustomed to.

Amity still won’t talk to her and sits in the furthest chair from Luz. So Luz is just messing around like with a bunch of pencils but ends up spilling them, small dorky idiot shit like that, and that’s what finally gets a small chuckle out of Amity that Luz is quick to notice and grin at. And, like you said, she zeroes in on the gold in her teeth. “Hey, what’s with your teeth?”

Amity is quick to calm up and turn away, the walls going right back up. Luz puts the pencils away and decides “fuck it, we’re doing this MY way now” and sits right by Amity. Amity of course turns away and gives her best I’m Ignoring You face but Luz keeps pestering her with questions and nearly ends up begging for Amity to talk to her. All it takes is a gentle grab of her forearm and a “Please, Amity.” and witch girl herself is looking up at Luz with the most scared face that Luz’s ever seen on her before she breaks down. She’s starting to cry and wiping at her eyes and Luz knows right then and there that this is so much worse than what she thought. It’s a rare soft moment between them, where Luz is awkwardly holding Amity with a hand in her hair and saying, ever so softly, that she’s not going anywhere. Amity can almost taste the metal on her tongue, and she can’t tell if its the thought of the gold or biting her own tongue.

[tatianafarenheit]

Devourer (open ending)

TW: GORE, slight lime,

It was pouring. The wind was howling woefully while it quickly rushed trought the trembling leafs of the Wangshu Inn’s Foundation of a tree. Even the sound of the other travelers, stopping for the night, was drowned by the white noise that rang trough-out the halls of the Inn, creating a terribly uncomfortable sensation of chaos. Xiao hated these kind of nights where the inn was bustling more than usual, and the fact that his only remaining comrade from the war was near him did not comfort him either.

He felt restrained almost rigid at the heavy awkwardness that strangled the room for the past two hours. Neither him or Yanay said a single word since they first reunited and Xiao’s mind was near overheating while trying to think of something to say.

His attempts where rewarded with emptiness and that frustrated him. He hated feeling like a kid, palms almost sweaty because he could not communicate with the only being that experienced the same pain he did, the only being who also had to witness the same horrors of war and was unfortunate enough to live on to tell the story.

Truth be told, they didn’t end on the best terms. Xiao blamed Yanay for years for the cause of his comrades deaths and vice versa, only to realize later that the person to blame was the misleading messenger between them. Yanay didnt in fact given the wrong orders, the messenger did and Xiao in fact did not leave his friends to die because he ran off, he was just too late to help.

Every since the truth emerged the both of them felt uncomfortably awkward next to each other, stuck between feeling a need to apologize and not wanting to open the wound that the sorrowful memories left behind. How easy it would be if stolen glances could be an actual form of communication. Yanay hearts raced while looking at Xiao, she felt a painful voide eating away at her heart while she looked at the broken man, a small fragment of what he used to be, almost like a living memory of the past, a guardian cursed to carry and reopen his old wounds each time he looked around him. Every single fragment of Liyue was a breathing reminder of what happened upon its lands all those years ago.

Yanay managed to find herself a new purpose, or more like the purpose found her. Ningguan found the resentful and nugatory girl and could not help but see potential in her, a woman that only needed someone to open her eyes. Ningguan offered her a job and a promise of a new start, a painfully docile life, she promised she would never have to suffer again and so Yanay followed her. Ningguan’s helping hand helped Yanay wake up, but only by her own will did she only find herself again, patching up her still bleeding old wounds hoping that one day they would stop…but they still bleed to this day.

Thats the difference between Xiao and Yanay is that Xiao accepted it, came to terms with the brokenness his whole existence represents, he got accustomed to the horrible misey that chews and spits him out every time he breathes, so accustomed to it to the point he doesnt feel it anymore. Yanay on the other hand could not, her mind still whispers menacingly to her, each time her eyelids tremble shut, the terrifying truth she had to endure. And each time, she fights it, she refuses it wholeheartedly, her resistance only making everything burn even more and even deeper.

“Im going to sleep” Yanay whispered and Xiao heard it, looking away and only giving a hum as a response. He felt bad, truly, he wish he could speak to her more, to apologize, to tell her that he can be there- but his savage heart wont let him, his prode chaining his mouth shut so he could not get himself hurt more. He tried to justify his actions by saying things such as ‘she wouldn’t care anyway’; ‘it would not help her so whats the point?’ But Xiao forgot to consider how much Yanay cared for such small things, how much she cherished in the back of her rotting soul the fact that someone thought that she deserved an apology.

Yanay laid down, her back facing Xiao, afraid of letting him see her composure falling apart each second she was next to him. And so with one last heavy puff of air her eyes closed. Xiao soon followed laying as far away as possible from her.

Xiao was awoken by the sound of the sheets being tousled around and as he looked in Yanays direction he could only see her figure hunched over. “Why are you awake?” He said in a gruff voice, slight annoyance tainting his tone from being awoken this early in the night. What he saw next made him freeze up, his blood turned cold and eyes froze open. Yanay looked back at him with tears in her wide eyes “Take them away-“ she barely whispered, her voice trembling along with the hands that gripped her sides in a crushing strenght.

Xiao felt like his world crashed down onto him, his veins thinning as he looked the the now seemingly vulnerable woman in front of him. His whole idea of who Yanay is was completely ruined, hes never seen her like this. So fragile and so… brittle- It was almost like someone’s possessed her body.

“You can eat dreams, right? Please-“ the girl cut herself short, her eyes scanning him frantically. She knew she was asking for too much, she felt it so deep in her bones that they felt like they might snap-. “I know im asking for too much but please- take them! Devour them until theres not even a single one that escapes!” Her voice was getting more and more unstable, her gaze running over the room back and forth, avoiding his apparent burning gaze. He just stared for a second, it all felt unreal to him. His breathing got labored and heavy as he saw the marking scene before him. A warrior turned to a broken maiden, looking for a kind of alleviation that only he could bring her.

Yanay took his silence as a refusal, her cheeks burning with embarrassment as she turned back to her hunched position. His gaze felt unbearably heavy on her back, almost quelling her to the point she felt minuscule. “Never mind- it was stupid of me to ask that. Please forget i ever said anything.” There it goes again, the voice Xiao was so accustomed to. He couldn’t help but feel a wave of disappointment wash over him.

Without rationality he reached out to her, his fingers grabbing onto her shoulder and turning her around a bit more harshly than what he meant.

Yanay jumped, her composure falling apart by his own hand. “Tell me what dreams im looking for..” his voice was awfully soft, so soft that it made a small electric string run up Yanay’s spine, a wave of ecstasy running over her body. But once the realization of what he really asked hit her, her eyes turned dark and cold. The kind of eyes Xiao used to have, so he immediately knew what he had to look for. “I will help you but-“ it was now his turn to look away in embarrassment, his face feeling way too scorching all of the sudden.

Yanay stared at him and thought of how she’s never looked at him in this kind of light before, he was absolutely breathtaking and innocent, not a shred of bad ill painted onto his face and so yet again she felt selfish for never trying to understand him- and now- here she is, asking him to do something that he most likely won’t enjoy. “Its gonna be a hell of a lot to take in, not only for you but me as well.” He continued and turned back to look at her. She almost gasped once her eyes met his, shes never seen them so close in order to see the true intensity they held. His gaze pierced trough her with such power that her breathy hitched. She only nodded. Xiao sighed, his fingers now trembling onto her skin knowing that whats about to come wont be able to be erased. Yanay’s perception of him was about to change even more.

“Turn around for me..” his voice was almost a whisper but still so moving that it made goosebumps rise on Yanay’s skin. She eagerly complied, her shoulders relaxing under his vexing touch. As she tuned around the sound around her began to fade, her attention fully concentrated onto Xiao. The next thing she felt was his chest pressed against her back, so tender yet so much pressure. She had to restrain herself from releasing a shuddered gasp once his body connected to hers. Her skin lit up, nerves trembling deliciously. Xiao felt it too, his eyes closing shut as he bit back a groan, his hands rose next to Yanays own hands, almost afraid of touching her thinking that shes gonna break. He was afraid that she’s gonna be repulsed by his touch but nonetheless he placed his hands in front of Yanay’s torso. “Grab onto one of my hands and relax into me.” He said again, his breath gently caressing Yanay’s ear shell.

Yanay’s lucidity began to dissolve, he was so close oh so close that if she turned around she could kiss him…to bad that will never be an option. After regaining a fracture of her rationality back, she complied to his words, her hand gripping one of his while she relaxed fully into him. His other hand gripped her jaw and moved it so that her face was right under his. Her eyes opened and looked at Xiao with such an irresistible innocence that he almost lost it. It was refreshing to see his comrade so complying and so sweetly vulnerable. Xiao leaned his head in, his lips barely above hers, so close that she could feel the heat coming from his face.

“Tell me when you if want me to stop..” he said against her lips before they met. Yanay’s heart felt like it was imploding, beating so hard and fast that it almost punched trough her ribcage but what came next took Yanay by surprise even more. Her limbs started to feel like putty, so soft and light. While her mind started to become intoxicated and slow, she wasn’t thinking of anything but Xiao and the overwhelmingly pleasurable feeling that started to spread inside her. It almost felt like and aphrodisiac, her body disconnecting from her mind, detaching so much that it almost felt like another person possessing her body. Xiao felt the affects too, his hand gripping Yanay’s jaw harder as he leaned his head in more, deepening the kiss, his tongue running hungrily over hers. While he knew that he was supposed to focus only on devouring Yanay’s horrible nightmares he couldn’t help but indulge in the sweet release that she was, a breath of fresh air. He wanted to claim her, to make her heal him with just her presence and maybe he could help her by erasing every parasitic nightmare that plagued her thoughts every night, but that wouldn’t be healthy and he knew it.

Yanay tried so hard to grip onto her lucidity but the more she tried the damned thing ran further and further away. Her flesh felt like smoldering cinder while her stomach felt like a void, it felt like feathers were running over her skin. She was so overwhelmed that she almost passed out from the electrifying feeling that he induced. Xiaos hand left hers and opted for her waist, digging his fingers in and dragging her torso impossibly closer to his. She was so delicious that it drove him mad, forget the damned nightmares he wanted to devour her. To rip her ignorant facade apart and watch her true face show itself from the ruins that he alone tore down.

His hunger was cut short when he finally reached the nightmares he was looking for and they were exactly as he expected. Corpses rotting on the muddy field while tired soldiers pushed on whith their last breath, people screaming and crying and the worst of all, the feeling of being helpless, powerless, the feeling of having to watch knowing you cant change a god damn thing.

He couldnt stand looking at the dreadfully realistic replicas of the past so he started tearing them down, devouring the from the most affecting ones to the lesser. He tore them down with each movemnt of his lips against hers and she couldnt have been more grateful. Suddenly his kisses turned from exhilarating to melting. His movements so soft and tender that Yanay felt like she was about to burst. She never realized how much she craved this feeling before and now- now she couldnt get enough of it, she was frightened that if he touched her like that one more time shed forever be bound to him, craving him each second of her existence. Her hand slowly moved to the nape of his neck, softly caressing his satin like hair.

Xiao couldnt do anything but melt under her gentle touch, his mind finally going at ease after all of these tormenting years he had to indure all alone. Afraid as if shed disappear from his desperate clutch, he held her closer, relishing into this intoxicatingly serene moment. Oh how he truly wished they could stay like this more…

[kenmasgameboy]

【ｒｅａｃｈｉｎｇ】

an oikawa x seijoh president!reader

oikawa toru has so many girls falling at his feet, but it wasn’t always like this. when y/n met him there was no one yet to inflate his ego, when he was pure to himself, the person he is when it isn’t performative. she fell in love. after forcing a rejection from him, where he says he never saw her as a girl, she’s determined to become the absolute perfect girl for every one except him.

profiles: [ student council ] [ on the block ]

masterlist

listen to the mixtape while you read

↬ entry #1: age 6 ➺ chapter 1: age 18  ➺ next

age 18:

𝕚. different now

MAKE SURE TO READ THE WRITTEN PORTION BELOW THE CUT

Your hands felt like they were surely going to fall off at any moment. You never really did get used to being in front of big crowds like this. Even last year when you had to give your first speech as a presidential candidate to the school you wanted to burst into flames. Your hands always did this thing when you were nervous, ever since you were little they’d become so gross and clammy. You hated that about yourself. What a weak give away.

The principal was just beginning the ceremony, and you waited outside in the hallway until it was closer to your turn to speak, pacing back and forth you stared out the window. The mid day yellow light peaking through the large trees in front of Seijoh’s campus. You really loved these trees, they would always shake and rustle in new ways everyday, reminding you of ways that you could stand your ground but continue to change in your own way. Some seasons shedding yourself completely bare and growing a new color, or a new branch, breaking them off as you went.

Today, even the trees that normally would be there to offer you a quiet calmness didn’t help you today. Your body still succumbing to its stage fright. This was your first appearance as Aoba Johsai School President to your student body that you represented, you needed a perfect impression. You needed to be perfect. The more you thought about it the jitters in your hands only increased, you tried to loosen the tightness, shaking them from your wrist downwards in hopes they would just fall off. You always did this before volleyball games and it never failed you. You only stopped your nasty habit when you heard rapid footsteps coming in your direction.

“Hey, there you are. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” Sora’s voice carried down the hallway. Your vice president had been looking for you. His chest heaved in breaths to try to regulate his body after running around.

“Sorry. I’ll be inside in a second, I just—” You said, pulling your hands behind your back to hide them. But it was too late.

“Are you nervous? Why? Everyone already loves you it’s not like they’ll change their minds now.” Sora said it lightheartedly, but there was a pressure that sat on your shoulders when he said it. An extra weight of expectation.

“Don’t say that.” You shrugged off the compliment, thinking about one face in particular. You groaned at the way he still had an effect on you. You thought of Toru’s eyes, “Not everyone.”

“Maybe not. You’re right, I can’t speak for everyone.” Sora smiled softly, “But as your Vice, I can speak for you. And I know you’ll be perfectly fine up there. I have full confidence. If you start stuttering, just take a second and keep going. We practiced this morning, right?”

“Right.” You nodded, your throat suddenly becoming overwhelmingly dry. “I know, I just have a lot on my plate today, there’s too much I’m not looking forward to.”

“Then let’s check one thing off, right? Let’s go out there.” Sora said, he grabbed your hand in his tugging you along. You weren’t ready, he wasn’t listening to you yet. But maybe he was right, you did need to be out there sooner than later. Still, you needed a few moments to collect yourself, to dampen your hands, something.

“Then let’s check one thing off, right? Let’s go out there.” Sora said, he grabbed your hand in his tugging you along. You weren’t ready, he wasn’t listening to you yet. But maybe he was right, you did need to be out there sooner than later. Still, you needed a few moments to collect yourself, to dampen your hands, something.

You couldn’t say anything, You became paralyzed in place as you looked at the back of Sora’s head. Your legs felt numb as they carried you in stride behind him down the hallway. His hand holding yours, it reminded you of someone again. Seeing him again this morning in class must’ve resurged these memories you pushed away as nothing. This was different, this wasn’t him. The back of Sora’s head was shiny and straight. His blond hair didn’t bounce, and he didn’t look back to smile at you. There was a sinking feeling in your stomach, it didn’t feel like nerves or anything like that. It felt like a settlement.

Your eyes ended up drifting off to the right, only slightly enough to catch the eyes that were more familiar than you remembered. His hair looking darker than when you were young, but it shined all the same. He still shined, even when he wasn’t smiling at you. Your eyes followed each other. The moment slowing down to make your first dose of eye contact in 2 years a dangerous and addictive cocktail.

Your hands were still sweaty, still nervous and shaking. It broke away from the confines of Sora’s palm. You need to grip them tighter when she’s nervous. The boy who stood innocently by the restroom found himself offering silent advice in his head. Toru couldn’t take his eyes away from the light that poured between the gap of You and Sora’s palms. It’s like he saw an opening, illuminating his opportunity and his body.

For the first time in ages, he felt the nostalgic need to grab those familiar sweaty palms. For a second he thought you’d stay with him, stay back and ask what he was doing in the hallway by the boys bathroom and not by your side? Why did he waste so much time? Did he think you were more beautiful today than every day he’s seen you before? He needed you to ask him those questions. 

His daydream was over in a second, once your face contorted from the hopeful surprise of someone who used to calm you into a disappointed grimace of remembering the hurt he had caused you that erased everything from before. You kept jogging behind Sora, no words were exchanged. You didn’t need to say anything to Toru, he heard you loud and clear.

“I hope you regret it. I hope you regret everything. I’ll never trust you like that again, not really.”

To him, this was a challenge worthy of taking. The time to change it all was now.

***

       【ｆｕｎ　ｆａｃｔｓ】

➺ Michi was late to the student arrival because she was slipping a love letter in Oikawa’s shoe locker. He didn’t even see it that day.

➺ Ito has really never spoken to y/n except she held the door open for him one day, he took that as she’s in love with him and too scared to tell him.

➺ Ito approached Matsukawa, Hanamaki, Iwaizumi, and Oikawa when all four were together. It was actually Oikawa who told Ito he had no chance in hell with y/n. the exact words he used was “she’s not just going to fall in love with someone who’s never cared enough to get to know her first before saying something like that. theres no way in hell you’d have a chance with a girl like her.”

➺ the other three just kind of stood there agreeing but also like “.__, tough talk coming from you, Oikawa”

➺ y/n has been starting libero since her first year, despite debating dropping volleyball in high school she decided this would look great to universities that she was involved with more than just student council. she still was invited to girls Japan youth camp for her achievements as an athlete. regardless, she still knew her real reasons were that it was the last piece of something he gave her.

➺ unlike oikawa, y/n hasn’t even thought about dating anyone in high school. she’s been single her whole life despite getting a fair amount of confessions in her time.

➺ y/n also follows oikawa on a fake account.

taglist: @chibishae34 @bby-bokuto @shittykawaa @1-800-schmacked @artsamber @berriesii @bbyazu @roseestuosity @gaytoasterstrudels @mirdy47707 @trippy-kitty @iwanttogotopluto @hvneymun @a-listaire @princessmidas @glyxiebear @akaashiwife @anejuuuuoy @kiyoojima @deimmortales99 @unstableye @sugawarabby @haikyuufairy @ashaite @bettys-other-shoe @defchamseoul @honeymoneyy​ @animatedrapture​ @alexthe80swhore​ @nellieleverlin​ @forhyunryu​ @thosenerdy3amthings​ @mariachiii​ @dishonestkilla​ 

reply with a comment or send an ask to be aded to the taglist!! if your name is crossed off it’s because i couldn’t tag you, let me know if you’ve changed your username!

a/n: wOW what a doOZY of a long first chapter, they all won’t be this long but i felt like i had a lot to set up. Let me know what you guys thought!!! i hope this guys got you a bit more hyped for this story! more to come!

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Episode 23 - The worst album in the world rated highly by Kurt (Cobain) and (Frank) Zappa.

K: Hi this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, starting this episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome. Hows it going recently?

J: I've just had my wisdom tooth out, I'm still quite swollen.

T, K: Oh yeh, you are!

J: Its really tough getting your wisdom teeth out at 52 years old.

K: Its quite late to have it done, right?

J: Yeh, Im doing it late. What about you, Kaoru?

K: I don't have any left.

J: All four?

K: Yeh.

J: You had this hell already taken out?

K: Oh, it was awful with me! 

J: When you had them out?

K: When I first had one of the bottom ones removed, it took about an hour and a half.

J: One hour...thats awful.

K: It was growing like this (*places fist horizontally against vertical palm)

J: Ahh, if its not growing like this..(*indicates vertical growth angle with hands). This type (*horizontal) hurts.

K: Then in the end, the anesthetic wore off. I had been given anesthetic, but it wore off.

J: Eughh!

K: Then after the tooth was out, my head hurt, my whole face hurt for about two weeks..I couldn't eat anything..It was hell.

J: You didn't have live shows did you?

K: No, not at all.

J: So, you had it done in your time off? Ahh, that sounds so painful. What about you, Tasai?

T: I still have mine.

J: Oh, you have them?

T: But after hearing this, I don't want to have them out anymore.

J: Hahaha

K: Are yours like this? (*growing horizontally?)

T: No, I think they are pretty straight.

K: Well, in that case, you don't really need to have them out.

T: Yeh, but yours sounds like it was painful, Kaoru.

J: For a hour and a half...that must hurt.

K: Yeh

J: Mine was out in ten mins, and Im still this swollen. I still have my lower left one remaining, Im gonna have to get that one out too...(*Kaoru smiles) Look at him! That face! Seriously!

Um, about Hanshin...

K: Hahaha

J: Didn't you say they would win by a mile, Kaoru?

T: He did.

K: They are...in last place by a mile. (*On screen note: 'The rank at the time of filming').

T: But they did win before now, so..

J: They did win before now?? He said they were gonna win by a mile!

K: Well, at the moment they've had two consecutive wins..then yesterday was raining, so that fell through, but..I think they are onto a good winning style now.

J: I see. From now on...

K: Mm, they finally got to the starting line.

J: Hahaha.

T: Starting with five in debt, right? haha.

J: This won't make them lose heart.

K: Well, cause they've only just started.

J,T: Well, yeh.

K: Everyone has ups and downs.

J: Thats true. Still, Hanshin are strong in the summer, aren't they?

T: Thats when they get consecutive wins, right?

K: Well, I mean, its always like this, last year was the same, but in the last month or so, they suddenly get good, its like 'Weren't you losing?' As soon as you realise, its like 'Eh?!, How'd you get that good already?'...kinda.

J: How come they can never get off to a good start?

K: Hmm, probably a lack of coordination, haha.

J: Hahaha.

T: Yeah, but at the start thier pitcher did catch corona and stuff, so they couldn't practice properly from the beginning.

K: Thats only an excuse.

J: Well, its tough, as expected. But, you know, I have zero interest in pro baseball, but this year..

T: You're watching it a lot!

J:...whether or not we'll have this event depends on it, so im putting my all into showing support. Still, it may be empty support, everytime I check the results I'm like, 'Whaaat?'

K: Oh, theres still a lot more to come.

J: Like, what was with those words you said with big subtitles, 'win by a mile'?

K: That was my desire. At the time this is broadcast, they'll be doing well.

J: I see

T: Right.

K: This will be broadcast in how many days? (*Works it out) Ah, maybe not by then.

J, T: Hahaha

J: Your attitude gets weaker and weaker.

K: Ok, lets have today's story please.

T: Ok, well this has been creating a bit of a buzz at Tokyo Sports, a really terrible band has been discovered to be in a list of Kurt Cobain's (of Nirvana) Top 50 albums. People who are into music might know this already, but the band is 'The Shaggs'. They are really terrible. I've also had a listen to them on Youtube, and you could say they sound like beginners, but I did think...Huh? Hang on a sec.

J: Hahaha. Like 'whats going on here?'　

T: Yeah. But somehow ???*1, and since this has come out in the news, its become quite a talking point.

J: I see.

T: Like people are saying, 'In reality, they're really good', or 'On no, they really are bad', and stuff. Joe, do you know of them?

J: I do, yeh. I've played them on the radio before, and whenever I do, there is a big response. When people hear this novice-like performance, they really respond. There must be something more to this. The sound quality of the recording is quite high, so whenever I play it, people think 'Woah, this is so interesting! ...'. What do you think of it, Kaoru? Have you listened to it?

K: Yeh, I have. Well, I mean, its a type of expression, right? I doesn't matter whether they are skilled or not. I thought it was interesting. It leaves a lasting impression .

J: Conversely, right?

K: ???*2

J: But if you had to say if they were skilled or not, you would say not, right?

K: Well, if they are seriously trying, then they are bad.

J, T: Hahah

J: If this is thier best, then they're bad?

K: Yeh, cause this is thier recorded sound. In that case, they're bad. But someone other than the performers has actually recorded this, and said, 'yes, lets go with this'.

J: Yes

T: I see

J: No one tried fix it.

K: Yeh, they didn't try to do a re-take or anything. They wanted to make the record.

J: This is the completed version, right?

K: Yeh, so maybe it was meant to be like this *3

T: So, if you look into this story a bit more, by the time of thier second album, their performance technique had improved a bit, and conversely, they lost their uniqueness. It erased what was special about them.

J: Ahhh, thats tough. But growing up in the 80s, back then all the pop idols were really untalented, weren't they?

T: Haha

J: But they made a lasting impression. Its not really a case of whether or not they were skilled. But, on the other hand...who was that guy?... *sings* 'Watashi no ohaka no mae ni...'...Akiyama something-or-other (*On screen text: Akikawa Masafumi*), I played some of his  more rocky stuff on my show, but it didn't resonate because he's just too good.

T: Ehh.

J: The songs require a certain kind of atmosphere.. and singing really well like..(*imitates a tenor's voice*), it didn't work at all. It was interesting.

T: Yeh, so there's something more to it, other than just skill.

J: I think so.

K: Well, it also comes down to who it is making the songs.

J: Yeh, that may have something to do with it.

T: I see

K: I mean, I don't know if these people (The Shaggs) wrote the songs themselves, but the songs are unique precisely because this band is playing them. This is how they do it.

J: But surely, if the songs were played properly, they wouldn't be that impressive, right?

K: Right! Haha.

J: Thier uniqueness comes from thier lack of skill.

T: Joe, can you understand how Kurt Cobain and Frank Zappa would appreciate this kinda thing?

J: I think so yeh. Like, Kurt Cobain, even in his appearance, he was grungy, like, appearing in public wearing pajamas and stuff. And in the 80s, slightly before his time, there was also that computerised music, like ???*4. Frank Zappa was also mentioned, and he was an artist with really experimental aspects, so I guess they would like this kinda of thing, the type of thing where there nothing else like it. I can really understand that.

K: Yeh, people who know nothing about music might listen to some super technical and progressive music, and then listen to this, and they might think they sound the same. One of them might sound a bit off, but the other might sound way off to some people. They might just look at them the same.

J: Ah, that may be, yeh. Well, to put it simply...its not your average music, is it?

T: Yeh.

J: Its quite interesting. Its like you said Kaoru, if the progressive stuff is too advanced, it will be written off, and in this case, this band may be regarded in a similar way for doing nothing special. Still, is it possible? Whenever novices like me do Karaoke, you have to do something, don't you? Like, impersonating the singer, or getting a bit excited..if you don't, it would be a  kinda chilly performance. So, with this band doing nothing like that...are they not cooperating or something?

T: Well, its hard.

J: Maybe they are professionals *laughing*

Kami: Its interesting how thier Dad forced them into it, right?

J: Oh yeh.

Kami: Its like, why does he know this stuff. They were forced..Didn't they say that in an interview or something? Thats quite interesting.

T: So, from what I've heard, thier Dad was on a mission to strike it rich, in a kind of swindler fashion.

J: Oh, that was it.

K: Ah, I see.

T: And made his daughters...

Kami: Ah, he was an imposter?

J: He tried to be

Kami: So he was witness to the recording and gave it the OK then?

T: Hmm, probably.

J: He was after something.

Kami: They had no money to record, so he just said, 'yeh, this'll do', kinda.

K: The Dad didn't have any talent either.

J, T: Hahaha

K: Or maybe he did?

J: Which is it?!

K: I don't know.

J: Right...But even if it was a ramen shop or something, if it said, 'The Worlds Worst Ramen', you'd want to try it just once, right? Its maybe the same kind of pattern.

K: But it does stay in your head, this band.

J: It does, surprisingly.

Kami: When you listen to it, there is some kind of message, right?

T: I see.

J: Well, Punk had to contend with a lack of skill, didn't it?..in that respect. 70s punk didn't use very complicated chords at all. But when it became more advanced, it kinda faded out.

K: Yeh, people from that generation ????  *5 There's quite a difference, isn't there?

J: There is, there is. What is that all about? Its like, why all the irregularity? Well, they are seeking something different, for sure...Well, we are getting carried away, but if you search for this band, you'll find it. If you search for 'The Shaggs', you'll be able to find them. The name of the album is 'Philosophy of the World'.

K: Ok, let's finish here. Please subscribe.

J: Yes, please do.

K: Thank you very much.

T: Thank you.

*1, 2, 4 Couldn't catch

*3 Could't catch explicitly, but I think thats what he means

*5 I can hear what he's saying, but I just couldn't put together what he means. Feedback always welcome btw!

[quecksilvereyes]

okay descendants rant:

i hate vk day. i hate it. the whole concept of it makes me want to murder whoever came up with it. to make these children’s lives and fates hinge on them kissing up to the core four who left them to rot instead of helping them in a meaningful way is just disgusting and gross.

i hated that beast and belle pushed mal to make the decision to close the barrier so she could be blamed for the repercussions of it, she is too young and she needs therapy before she should ever make decisions like that. not to speak of the fact that she shouldnt be making those decisions at all if she thinks hades zapping her a bit justifies dooming everyone to exist on the island forever. no one, not even the parents who actually committed crimes, deserve to be on the island and be stripped of their basic human rights. mals survival instinct is diametrically opposed to helping other people because she has spent her whole life learning that helping people only traps her and that is something she needs to go to therapy for and not be exploited so you can get what you want BEAST. that isnt to say im not holding her responsible for her shitty actions, i am just incredibly frustrated with this franchise and how it treats mal as if she can never do any wrong, not in a meaningful way anyway.

i hated the way they did audrey’s villainy because a) it could have been explained with a spell which defeats the whole “everyone has the capacity for evil“ thing they were trying to do and b) i thought her reasoning was a bit weak. for her main motivation to be that she didnt get the boy feels demeaning when theres a bunch of other things she could have gotten very upset about, ranging from mal’s behaviour towards her and her mother’s fate to the way everyone keeps glossing over the fact that mal spelled ben, not even because she wanted him, just because it was useful. i wish we got more exploration of the fact that all the isle parents are abusive, what was up with that 180 the core four did at the end about their parents missing them? we spent two movies establishing that they do not care about their children at all, and now we’re supposed to root for them reuniting with their parents? what?

i hated the hades thing. it wasn’t even needed, all it did was technically op mal, and it didn’t even do that. it undermined hades’ power as a god and implies that fairy godmother is more powerful than him since she could trap him on the isle in the first place.

“nothing except hades’ ember is stronger than maleficent’s staff“, here is a noncomprehensive list of things stronger than the ember: - the barrier - fairy godmother - enchanted lake water - mal and uma together

like, if they wanted to do an uma/mal rekindling of their friendship, they could have done that without making hades mal’s dad and completely erasing not only persephone or the child hades had in the books but also the fact that mal was half human in the source material and it was her mother’s reasoning for the abuse she faced. Are you seriously trying to tell me that Maleficent wouldn’t have told her if she was half god? Her whole goal was for Mal to be the most powerful thing, why would she stunt that? Also apparently Mal knew? And we never heard a word of it before? What even was the point of Hades, he could have easily been written out.

Mr. Jackson, sir, I am so sorry.

Also I hated the complete lack of regard for Evie, Jay and Carlos’ established characters, none of them would have been okay with half the stuff they were okay with in this movie. Not to mention that I am still very upset that neither Evie nor Jay have magic.

Uma came around too fast for me, Hades came around too fast, there was nothing happening with Celia the way I hoped it would, she would have been perfect as someone getting mal’s favour, getting the f*ck off the isle and then doing her own thing, but NO.

i’m just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(also. they made light of the food situation I will literally MURDER)

[annerbhp]

It’s been two weeks since I explained myself and you haven’t responded. I told you something that made me uncomfortable as black person After I’ve seen many things on your page comparing muggleborns to black people. You misunderstood what I was trying and wouldn’t even listen to me.

Hey. I haven’t been on tumblr in weeks, to be honest. Everything has been completely overwhelming for the month of November, so I pretty much have peaced out and not been here. I do want to address your messages.

First, this, I believe, is the first message in question. The response to death eaters not being a good corollary to Black lived experience, especially in the US. It was my intention to agree with you and to talk about the shortcuts many white authors take in their fantasy worlds by conflating all oppression as being the same. (Or maybe in a fantasy setting is the only place they feel comfortable with even trying to explore dynamics of oppression.)

You then responded with these:

“I worded that wrong. I’m not trying to tell other people’s experiences for them. All I’m saying is that comparing muggleborns to black people feels wrong to me because that metaphor isn’t thought out well. Like if muggleborns are black people and half bloods are mixed then why was everyone mad about snape saying mud blood. By this logic he’s mixed. I wast talking abou people relating, I was talking about the white people in this fandom that literally call the death eaters KKK wizards“

(my first response is that I wasn’t trying to tell you to not tell other people’s experiences for them, I was saying white people shouldn’t say death eaters = kkk when it isn’t their lived experience to define, but clearly I mucked that up, and I’m sorry for that.)

“(2/4) Also I might sound like I was speaking for everyone because black people never get to be individuals. I have never seen anyone be like muggleborns face SOME of the struggles SOME  black people go through. It’s always muggleborns are a metaphor for black people period. What I have to go through is nothing like being called a mudbood. If some black person out theres only experience is being called the n word then relate all you want. But THAT isn’t ever one’s experience”

I hear this, and it makes 100% sense to me.

“3/4 and being told that is what black peoples experiences are like by some white people in the fandom is wrong. Because the n word is bad yes and it upsets me but that isn’t my biggest worry. My worry is about wither or not I can get a job cause of how my hair looks. Having to google if a place is racist before I go there. People telling me they are open when I call but see they are closed when they see my skin.”

“4/4 nothing in the books shows Hermione going through anything like. I’ve read the Changling and if what happened in that happened in canon I might have been more open to this idea. But in canon we see draco and some other slytheirns calling her a mudblood. And that’s kinda it. There no laws in place that make her life harder. No one assumes she’s not smart because she’s muggleborn. And I know jk Rowling had been removed from canon but she did say that she making a metaphor about class not race”

I think we can pretty confidently say that JKR was totally going for a class metaphor (since that is her lived experience). And race and class function in very different ways (not to mention function different in the US than the UK), which you have very clearly detailed here.

This kind of reminds me of one of the arguments I saw against racebending HP characters that I (in my privilege) hadn’t considered: if you made Harry or Hermione Indian or Black, having the book basically stay the same seems to say that race doesn’t matter, that people of color don’t lived racialized experiences. If Hermione were Black, as you say, her experience would be so different from any forms of bias she suffered in canon. So just saying “this character is Black now!” doesn’t really address the lived, individual experiences of being a person that someone like me, a white person, might not have the knowledge and perspective to pull off. 

Back to your recent message, I can’t think of posts I made/posted equating muggleborn and black experiences off the top of my head, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t. If I did, I could see how that could cause harm, and that is not something I would ever want. I know my intentions can’t erase impact, and I appreciate you taking time (and the labor) of bringing this to my attention when, frankly, that additional burden shouldn’t fall on you.

If I am still misunderstanding you in some way, I would always want to hear from you so I can learn and do better, but only if you feel comfortable with doing it. I hope you are well and the last month hasn’t been too much of a nightmare.

[having-a-hyperfixate]

Week 3, Day 7

Safety cut, line breaks where the original posts ended.

The Final Day

“I bet you don’t even know what the word ‘nervous’ means.”

“‘Ey, why you gotta call me out like dat, Phones?”

I have missed these two. :’) For the record, I’m fucking terrified.

 OKAY THE CITY BEING THIS DARK IS AWFUL I HATE IT. NOPE.

-----------------------

Beat. Answer your phone. It’s probably Rhyme. BEAT. THE PHONE. NOW.

-____-

Why. *facepalm*

-----------------------

I may have zoomed right past Kariya and Uzuki with Soundsurf before I even registered they were there. Thankfully the game didn’t let me zoom too far. >.>

I simultaneously have the warm fuzzies cuz ~teamwork~ and a yawning abyss of dread in my stomach cuz this is it.

I’ve always hated those last talks before the final battle. They make you so horrifically aware of exactly how much you stand to lose, even if you win.

I do not like that I have to go to Udagawa to meet Kaie. I am hella paranoid about that place. Aaaah.

-----------------------

Shout out to Hishima standing there to tell me he’s looking for someone? And then not telling me who? Bruh.

Kaie is waiting for someone who holds incredible power of the non-supernatural variety. So Rhyme or Shiki? Cuz everyone else is currently accounted for or VERY supernatural.

Well that was a weird detour.

-----------------------

An aside: Beat is all grown up and doesn’t flail at his full name anymore.

-----------------------

Beat Shiba. There’s no way this is real.

Oh now time has stopped. Good. THE PEOPLE ARE TURNING INTO NOISE WHAT. (This is about to descend into an unreadable mess I suspect. Sorry.)

How did I get a B I almost died. I think that meteor thing almost managed to hit eesh. Alright. Here comes the shit storm.

Oooh Rindo. Straight savage. I love his habit of throwing people’s words back that them. It’s the best kind of fuck you. It’s way too early to celebrate my dudes. There’s still no way we’re done.

“Executor”? Oh I do not like that.

Damn he died without going Noise.

I had really hoped Kubo wasn’t coming back. This was very naive.

4:44:44. Of course.

Also, OH FUCK. RINDO’S PIN JUST ERUPTED KUBO IS THE SOURCE OF THE DISSONANCE I CAN’T THINK WHAT DO.

NO DON’T YOU HU- NEKUUUUUUUUUUU!! He. He. He killed… he erased Neku. No. no no nononononononoooooo. And the Inversion-!

What IS he?! (I think I’ve gone non-verbal oh dear)

Another Angel. It’s official. I hate the higher plane. I didn’t like them before, the whole business with how cut off the Composer is has always struck me as designed to fail and massively fuck up but this. This is so much worse.

Why?! Why would… Why would they decide to destroy Shinjuku and Shibuya..?

Shit, Rindo has been Kubo’s proxy. Shit shit. This is so much worse than the reveal that Neku was Joshua’s proxy. Joshua hadn’t actually DONE IT yet. This fucker has actively done it once and is in the middle of succeeding again. Oh god.

Minamimoto. He was looking for a way to consume and control the Noise Rindo was generating. That’s why he needed a sample. His first attempt didn’t work and it fucked him up, like the Plague Noise have been doing all week. Shit I really hope he’s had time to figure it out. I vote we go back, un-erase Neku before I throw up, find Sho, get him fucking cooperate for once in his existences, no that’s not a typo he’s died like 4 times, then destroy the pin before Fuckwad here can call the Noise out of it. 

We’ll only get one shot though.

I’m gonna unpause now.

Okay watching Shoka get got like that. That was. Extremely unnecessary. 

I do not envy Rindo having to explain all this oh boy.

-----------------------

It just registered that we’re about to try to kill AN ANGEL. Fuck me. I remember Panthera Cantus. Oh boy.

I don’t know how well talking to Shiba is going to work, when he’s probably the way he is because Fuckwad did something to him on a Soul level.

Lmao that went poorly. Shocker. And now, a scavenger hunt across time~

-----------------------

The scavenger hunt has yielded

Hishima and Shiba used to be     good friends but Hishima refuses to be overtly helpful

Rhyme has mad hacking skills     and Beat still hasn’t looked at his damn phone

“Must be from a higher     plane. Everyone from up there is some kind of weirdo, let me tell you.”     KARIYA. WHAT. HOW MANY HAVE YOU MET!? Also like, most of the Reapers     aren’t supposed to know about this shit. I remember the secret reports     very well thanks. Only the Composer knows they exist.

Coco called Fuckwad a must,     dusty, crusty old cretin and this gives me LIFE. Otherwise was very     unhelpful.

Uzuki just had an ‘oh my god they were partners’ moment re: Hishima and Shiba and I’m half giggling cuz my brain made it a meme and half having Feels cuz “things go south with your partner and then that’s it?” halp my emotions.

SHE JUST CALLED HIM HELLO!? XD UZUKI I LOVE YOU. SHE STILL HAS NO CHILL SHE’S JUST MORE PRODUCTIVE ABOUT IT.

“Can you imagine? Being played like that… and then having everyone just abandon you like you’re nothing?” It wasn’t until Fuckwad said what he is that I stopped being out for blood. I was assuming that whatever had happened to change Shiba, he had played a part in it himself. But if someone that much more powerful came and started messing with his head and his soul then yeah, he deserves to be snapped out of that and to be himself again. If what he became isn’t his own fault, if it wasn’t because he messed with something he shouldn’t have, then yeah. Make this stop. Then we’ll see.

-----------------------

Damn Hishima going straight for the jugular. Respect.

We got our cease-fire for now though. Shoutout to Neku casually reassuring him we’ll fight him to the death if shit doesn’t kick off. Like that’s totally normal. Aiya.

-----------------------

A thought, as Fuckwad is gloating over how screwed we are: Minamimoto want’s to “approach infinity”. Which in this case might not mean ‘I want to be Composer’, it might mean ‘I’m trying to make the jump to Angel’. In which case… That would be very good for us, I think. Certainly couldn’t be worse, at any rate.

(Exact line I’m on: If you thought that Noise gave you a good beating last time around, just wait till you see it now. You kids are in for a world of hurt. (No, I am not typing out his weird lisp thing.))

-----------------------

Oh gooooooooood damn it not again.

OH MY GOD SHOKA IS- SHOKA IS SWALLOW!?!?! HELLO!?!?!? I had completely forgotten Swallow even existed with all the madness.

THat. THaT JUST HAPPENED

AND FUCKING HE BROKE OUR PIN NO NONONONO OKAY OKAY HOW ARE WE GETTING OUT OF THIS THERES A WAY WHAT IS IT

Hello giant beam of light what??? I am massively confused. How. What. I do not understand what is happening. What is. GOING ON.

This post is long as fuck I’mma just make a new one.

[feeling-uncomfy]

Chapter 9 baby!! This one has action and fighting, and poor Tokoyami gets stuck in the middle

Warnings are:

Cussing

Blood

Hospitalization

Hope you enjoy! Sorry in advance for any spelling mistakes :/

Dabi stood in the middle of two top ten pro heros, a shaking child in his arms. He had to get out of here, preferably without burning the kid to a crisp.

Endeavor took a step closer. "Are you alright?" It took Dabi a second to realise he was talking to Tokoyami. The kid didn't answer, not really knowing what to do. Dabi held him closer, trying to comfort him without giving himself away.

Dabi glanced up, he could propel himself upwards with his flames to get to a balcon and run to the rooftop? He'd be able to move more freely up there.

"Dabi." Hawks growled, moving forward. Dabi let instinct take over, and jumped up. Endeavor yelled as blue flames shot out at both sides. Tokoyami let out a scream of fear as both he and Dabi shot upwards. Dabi found himself halfway up the building, and started climbing higher.

Tokoyami was clutching his jacket, tears streaming down his face. Dabi apologised, trying his best to reassure the kid while running. Something sliced his arm, sending them both tumbling to the ground.

Dabi dropped Tokoyami, who went skidding. Dabi let out a gasp as the kid got dangerously close to the edge of the roof. Hawks was up on the roof, the father returning to his wing.

Dabi was up immediately, planting himself between Hawks and Tokoyami. "Dabi. Out of my way." Hawks wasnt pulling any punches, already sending feathers to slice him again. Dabi rushed forward, burning the feathers till he got in close.

He sent his elbow into Hawks's jaw, and a knee to his gut. Dabi felt a feather slice his leg and hissed in pain. Hawks stumbled, and Dabi threw a punch, his fist lighting up on flame. He was shoved back by wings, landing hard on his back.

Hawks ran past him, and Dabi grabbed his leg, sending him straight down. Hawks groaned as Dabi climed over him. Tokoyami had sat up, watching the whole thing. His arms and back were raw from the impact and sore. Dabi picked him up, banked right and ran.

Hawks sent another feather out, picking Tokoyami up by the hood Kurogiri had provided. He let out a cry as Dabi lit the feather up. Hawks shoved his entire body weight onto Dabi, and all three of them fell.

Endeavor had gotten up to the roof, and barely managed to catch Tokoyami. Hawks threw a punch in Dabi's face, who returned the favour by kicking him in the gut. Endeavor turned to bring the kid off the roof, but had to jerk right as blue flames lit up his left shoulder.

Holding Tokoyami in one arm, he sent a ball of flame towards the pair, and Dabi blocked it almost easily with his own flames. Hawks sprang onto Dabi, sending them both tumbling into Endeavor, who wasnt prepared.

All four of them went over the edge. Endeavor turned and landed harshly on his back, while Dabi and Hawks were sent rolling away from the group. Endeavor's head smacked against the ground with a crack. Tokoyami shook him, petrified. "Mr....?"

Hawks and Dabi were still fighting. Tokoyami was panicking. Endeavor might be dead. It was a mess.

Tokoyami let out a sob as blood started pooling around Endeavor's head. Dabi looked up and saw what was happening. He shoved Hawks off of him and sprinted over, but Hawks's feather stopped him. Dabi groaned and kicked Hawks's nose.

Aziawa came around the corner. His immediate reaction was to erase Dabi's quirk, but instead he focused on Tokoyami. "Kid, what happened?!" Tokoyami's hands shook as he grabbed into Aziawa's jacket. "Hey, hey, it's okay now." Aziawa reassured him as he checked Endeavor for any other injuries.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash. Aziawa turned in time to see the building they were next to come falling down. "Fuck–!" He tried to shove Tokoyami, who screamed, out of range, but the whole wall came crashing down, completely crushing them.

Hawks and Dabi, who were out of range, were fighting when Hawks noticed the cracks in the wall. He saw the building move and sent out feathers to save Aziawa, Endeavor and Tokoyami.

But Aziawa fucking shoved Tokoyami out of the way. His feather missed. He's pretty sure he got Aziawa out, not to sure about Endeavor.

But his kid.

Hawks started running as the dust settled, moving rubble and searching for his kid. "No no no....Fuck!" He yelled, moving piece after piece. Aziawa came running, falling to his knees and helping. He seemed just as nervous.

Hawks didnt care about Dabi. Not right now. "I've got Endeavor!" Aziawa called from a few metres away. Hawks didnt care.

A flash of black. Maybe...? Please, let it be him.

Hawks shoved a rather heavy piece of rubble away as another pro-hero showed up. Aziawa yelled at them to call the police.

Hawks moved a piece away and—

"Kid!" Its Tokoyami, Hawks sees him, he's okay, he's—

Hawks stopped. There was so, so much red. He was normal sized, he noted. His arm was twisted at an odd angle, and there was a crack on his beak, clear as day, among other injuries.

Hawks almost sobs as he carefully picks up his kid, holding him close. There blood covering them both, but he doesnt care. Aziawa rushes over, and sees the damage. He falls to his knees again. Theres a horrified expression on his face.

"Holy shit..." it comes out a broken whisper.

The ambulance arrives, and Hawks has to be pried away from his kid.

The ride to the hospital is quiet. For the first time ever, Hawks has nothing to say.

I'm sorry.

[alicedoessurveys]

Doctor Who Tag

yes im a nerd...

CHILDHOOD

1. Did you like DW as a child?

I was 10 when it came back on telly with Eccleston and the first episode with the autons scared me so much my mom wouldn't let me watch it again until a couple years later, but yeah my teens I was obsessed with DW... still am at age 25

2. Your age at the time of the revival?

10

3. First DW episode you ever saw?

‘Rose’

4. Did you have any of the toys?

I still have the eleventh doctor’s screwdriver... I used to have some of the figures but there in storage now somewhere

5. Which DW character did you play on the playground?

didn't play it on the playground

6. Monster(s) that scared you most as a child?

all of them! the ones that still scare me now are the Cybermen and the Autons... genuinely cant walk past a shop mannequin without being suspicious 

7. Joke/story you didn’t get as a kid?

as a kid, any of the innuendo type jokes

8. DW opinion that has changed since you were a kid?

idk I think I still have the same opinions

9. Who introduced you to DW?

parents

10. Did you like Sarah Jane Adventures as a child?

I LOVED SJA!! I miss that show, and Elizabeth Slade :(

DOCTOR

11. Who is your Doctor?

Ten was the doctor that made me fall in love with Doctor Who 

12. Your favourite Doctor?

omg why not just ask me who my favourite child is... (I don't have kids but you know what I mean) if I had to chose my top three are ten, eleven and thirteen

13. Least favourite Doctor?

purely just because he doesn't have enough episodes... nine...

14. Best regeneration?

none of them I hate regenerations :( they make me sad, im too emotionally invested in every single one

15. Do you like “Doctor-Lite” episodes?

they're not my faves

16. Who is the most human Doctor?

I think nine maybe? or twelve?

17. Best multi-Doctor story?

the 50th anniversary special 

18. Best Doctor monologue?

“Hello Stonehenge! who takes the pandorica, takes the universe. but bad news everyone, cause guess who? HA! You lot you're all whizzing about- its really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I AM TALKING. Question of the hour is, who's got the pandorica? Answer, I do. Next question, who's coming to take it from me? Come on, look at me! No plan. No backup. No weapons worth a damn. oh and something else, I don't have anything to lose. So, if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship with all your silly little guns and you've got any plans on taking the pandorica tonight... just remember who's standing in your way. remember ever black day I ever stopped you and then- AND THEN- do the smart thing... let somebody else try first.”

not copied and pasted, remember that from the top of my head... its always there waiting in my mind incase I ever need an epic monologue :’)

19, What do you think TenToo/MetaCrisis Doctor is doing now?

hopefully living his best life with Rose

20. Best Doctor/companion pairing?

ten and donna 

COMPANIONS

21. Favourite companion?

Donna, Clara, Amy

22. Favourite secondary companion?

is Mickey classed as secondary? idk

23. Least favourite companion?

Ryan

24. Best TARDIS Team?

Doctor, Amy and Rory

25. Most underrated companion?

Graham, but that may just be cause I love Bradders

26. Most overrated companion?

Rose... I like her but idk, I think she gets more hype than she deserves.. don't @ me

27. Favourite companion’s family?

Rose’s mom

28. Who should have been a companion but wasn’t?

idk I cant think of anyone

29. Favourite (canon or non-canon) DW universe relationship?

Amy and Rory

30. Who did you not used to like, but really like now?

wasn't keen on Bill at first but by the end I really liked her, same with Rory

EPISODES

31. Favourite episode ever?

girl in the fireplace

32. Least favourite episode?

most of Chibnall’s episodes tbh sorry not sorry 

33. Which episodes do you skip?

the regeneration episodes

34. Best two-parter?

Human Nature - Family of Blood

35. Historical, present day or futuristic episodes?

I like them all in there own way but I think present is fave, then historical, then future

36. Episode that will always make you smile?

all of them

37. Episode that will always make you cry?

Rory and Amy’s last episode :’(

38. Best run of episodes?

ugh I cant answer this theres too many 

39. Best cliffhanger?

the end of Spyfall part one when the Master reveals who he is... I was SHOOK

40. Favourite Christmas special?

Voyage of the Damned

SERIES

41. Classic Who or New Who?

new who

42. Favourite series?

four or five

43. Least favourite series?

eleven, I just cant with the writing

44. Which series do you skip?

none

45. Favourite series opening?

eleventh hour

46. Favourite series finale?

Doomsday

47. Best series arc?

Bad Wolf

48. Thoughts on series 11/12?

I adore Jodie Whittaker and her doctor, and although I think 3 companions is too many I do love Yaz and Graham (Ryan is hit & miss). I just think theyve been massively let down by the stories/writing... they’ve tried to hard to tick certain boxes and completely missed what Doctor Who is about for a lot of people.. an escape from the real world into these outrageous unbelievable but lovable fun alien adventures 

49. How much of Classic Who have you seen?

not a lot

50. Who should have had another series?

NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE 

MONSTERS

51. Favourite monster/villain?

the master 

52. Most creative monster?

Weeping Angels, whoever came up with monsters that look like statues and only move when you're not looking at them is genius 

53. Monster(s) that scares you most?

Autons, Cybermen, the creepy dolls from Night Terrors, the ones from Waters of Mars, Weeping Angels

54. Monster you think is too easy to defeat?

idk

55. Least favourite monster/villain?

absorbaloff

56. Monster you want to return?

The Master, I really hope that isn't the last we see of Dhawan

57. In your opinion, what makes a monster good?

being genuinely scary, 

58. Daleks, Cybermen or Weeping Angels?

Weeping Angels

59. Best Dalek story?

Daleks in Manhatten

60. Best one time villain/monster?

my brain has gone blank I cant think of an answer right now 

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

61. Torchwood or Sarah Jane Adventures?

SJA

62. Favourite Torchwood Team member?

I haven't watched it all so I couldn't say 

63. Which Torchwood death made you saddest?

again, not watched it all 

64. Do you rewatch COE or MD?

huh

65. Favourite SJA Team member?

Sarah Jane

66. Mr Smith or K-9?

K-9

67. Maria or Rani?

Rani

68. Do you read the comics/novels or listen to Big Finish?

Nope

69. If you do, your favourite additional stories?

n/a

70. Do you like DW analysis (video essays, fan theories, etc)?

yes

DESIGN/PRODUCTION

71. Favourite piece of alien tech?

the sonic, I love how it is so multipurpose except for when it comes to wood 

72. Favourite piece of Murray Gold music?

I am the Doctor - gets me pumped every time 

73. Favourite TARDIS design?

Ten’s Tardis 

74. Has the 2005 era CGI aged well?

actually yeah, I was rewatching the ‘are you my mummy’ episodes the other day and my God when the gas masks emerged from the faces... ooooooof I was like omg how 

75. Favourite Doctor outfit?

eleven or thirteen

76. Monster with the best design?

not really a design more of a costume.. I live Dhawan master’s costume. that shade of purple, oof he so stylish 

77. Best show runner?

idk

78. Best writer?

Gatiss

79. Best opening titles?

eleven’s titles where the Tardis is flying and being zapped is cool but thirteens music hits different 

80. Will DW age well/stay popular in the future?

I hope so, I feel like its lasted this long surely it can last forever.. if the writers don't fuck it up... 

IF YOU WERE IN THE SHOW

81. Time period you’d want to go with the Doctor?

whatever time means Id get to wear the most beautiful costumes

82. Planet/place you’d want to go with the Doctor?

Galifrey, pre-desctruction

83. Doctor you’d most like to travel with?

any of them, please and thank you

84. Companion you’d most like to travel with?

donna, sceso a good laugh but also I feel like she’d look after me 

85. Monster you’d like to defeat/fight?

The Master 

86. If you could go back on your own history (like Father’s Day), where would you go?

back to when I was a toddler, I wanna see what I was like 

87. If you could ask the Doctor anything, what would you ask?

theres too many to ask 

88. Historical figure you’d like to meet?

Shakespeare

89. How do you think you’d meet the Doctor?

id probably be rescued from doing something stupid and then the doc would be like you know what the bitch clearly needs supervision she's coming with me 

90. Would you travel forwards or backwards in time first?

backwards

IF YOU MADE THE SHOW

91. Historical event would you like to see in DW?

Hamilton

92. Issue you’d like to see addressed in DW?

idk 

93. Who would you completely erase from the DW universe?

Ruth

94. One unanswered DW question you’d love to know the answer to?

where is Clara now?

95. Actor/actress you’d like to see play the Doctor?

Phoebe Waller Bridge (or Lin Manuel Miranda)

96. Actor/actress you’d like to see play a companion?

Andrew Scott (yes I did just basically recast fleabag and hot priest)

97. Is DW “too political”?

series 11 got a bit like that 

98. Which characters fate would you changed?

Danny Pink

99. What about DW could be improved?

I think ive made my options about Chibnall pretty clear... 

100. If you could write an episode of DW, any ideas for what you’d do

bring back Jenny, the Doctor / Daughter adventures they would have. I’m actually writing a fic about it if you wanna read.... here

[bbparker]

One Universe [3/3] (Steve Rogers x Reader)

A/N: WELCOME TO THE FINAL CHAPTER AND JUST SO YOU KNOW I CRIED AND DIED JUST WRITING IT x

ENDGAME SPOILERS AHEAD

MASTERLIST || PART 1 || PART 2 ||

You will probably be asked to play songs (either saying play me or in bold) during this and its probably best you do- it’ll help x

A blinding hot flash overtook her right arm as she screamed in pain. Steve was by her side in seconds, his arms unable to touch or assist her as he was at a loss how to. His blue eyes watched with fear as she stood tall, the pain unbearable as she waited with a bated breath. 

Behind her stood a frightened Peter Parker, who looked around for any who could possibly assist (y/n); but it was impossible. Nobody could save her from her fate. 

The battleground seemed to freeze, waiting for the final act and when it did come, (y/n) felt her life force leaving her with every fading enemy. Still, (y/n) refused to kneel before Thanos, she was strong and would not allow him to see her fall. Looking down upon the purple man she gritted out words that would take him to his grave.

“You’ve hurt so many and history will not be kind to you. You will be remembered as the mad titan who was so devoid of any kind of love that he became selfish, heartless and ultimately a nothing. Your legacy wont be followed by your children, in fact I think they’ll erase any part of you.” Tears built in Thanos’ eyes as he watched with wide eyes his army fall and a human stand tall before him.

(HIT PLAY HERE & REPEAT)

 His body began fading as her final words echoed in his mind. 

“You are nothing, because you love nothing.” 

When the final piece of Thanos faded right before their eyes, she fell right into her lovers arms, short of breath. Looking up, (y/n) saw the eyes of her love looking down at her with his blue depths, sadness infiltrating them. 

“(y/n)? C’mon stay with me! You can fight it, you can!” Steve’s desperate tone was heard across the battlefield as all came to witness the fall of an Avenger. (Y/N) did not move her eyes from his desperate face, sound all but lost to her as she watched him call out to anyone and everyone to save her. 

She admired the curve of his jaw before moving to the shape of his lips. Slowly they moved up the slope of his nose and to the curve of his eyebrows. Lastly, her eyes landed on the blue of his own. 

Eyes that were too frantically moving around, as if the answer were right in front of him but he couldn't see it. 

“…Steve.” She weakly said as blue eyes finally looked towards her. 

“I know, baby but just hold on a little longer!” He noticed the degrading gauntlet still on her arm and angrily he ripped it off and threw it as far from them as possible. 

ringing his eyes back to her again, he felt the tears build in his eyes as even through immense pain, she looked at him as though he was her saviour; like he was the best thing to grace the earth. 

“(Y/N)!” Tony screamed as he ran over, leaving his suit behind as he fell down on his knees besides the two lovers. 

“Why would you do that?” He cried, allowing the tears to fall freely. (Y/N) smiled up at Steve warmly before looking over to Tony and weakly holding up one finger as he scoffed a sob, realising she had to be the one to snap in order to win. 

“(y/n)?” Another voice cut in as they fell beside Tony. The face that greeted her was one Sam Wilson as tears flowed. Smiling warmly at the soldier, she held her okay hand out and lay it on his cheek. 

“So-so this is what you meant in DC, huh?” She nodded knowing what he was referring to as Steve looked back and forth between them in confusion before a knowing look overcame his face.

Bucky stood a bit further back, eyes watering. He hadn’t known you for as long as Steve but he had connected to you, had been able to talk to you. Bucky, in his own way, fell in love with you just that little bit. Who wouldn’t?

Steve looked down at (y/n) as she moved her hand to his face, holding it gently.

“You knew?” She nodded before trying and failing to get her words out. The only things holding her together were her superhuman abilities; if not for them there was no way she would have been able to last this long. 

As she mouthed silent words, Steve tried to understand but he was having difficulty in his panicked state. 

“No, no save your strength, just hold on a little longer.” Kissing her on the forehead over and over, he rocked back and forth as wheezed breaths left her. Even with all her might, (y/n) could not keep her arm up as it fell from his cheek and to her side. Her eyes looked up at the man she knew owned her heart.

Avengers and warriors alike stood by as they watched, some expected declarations of love, some expected a joke knowing her and others could hardly think at all. But it surprised all but one when her final statement reached their ears.

“Find her, promise me.” And with a releasing breath, (y/n)’s body went limp. A sob left Tony’s mouth as he fell back into Pepper. Peter held a hand to his mouth as loud sobs tried to escape, where Bucky just dropped his gun, not having the strength to hold it any longer. Sam fell apart but still managed to clasp a hand on Steve’s shoulder as the man had not moved.

Blue eyes stared down at her face as her eyes remained open and unseeing. He didn’t know what he was feeling or thinking it was all blank. Slowly, Steve stood with (y/n) in his arms as everyone watched the man stand for a moment.

It was desperate, it was a man who loved a woman. It was a superhero who was able to save everything but the one he loved most. 

His eyes never left her as he turned and began walking slowly and somewhat aloof in the direction of Carol Danvers. Standing before the super woman, he looked up into her teary eyes, pleading. There had to be some way, something in space even- anything. 

“I’m sorry. Theres nothing I can do.” She softly said but still he stood there as Steve let out a heart wrenching sob. His legs gave out as Carol was quick to catch his elbows and lower herself with the man and girl in his arms to the ground. 

They all watched, hearts in their throats as their captain shattered into a million pieces before them. Steve screamed and cried, hunching over the body of his love. 

“I- I didn’t, I didn’t tell-” Carol lay a hand on his shoulder as another hand moved to finally close (y/n)’s eyes.

“Now it looks like she’s just sleeping. Look at her Steve.” Blue watery ones looked to the face of (y/n) and saw with her eyes closed, she looked peaceful. A small smile still lay on her lips, permanently happy. 

Carols hand drifted over the girls forehead to rest her hand on it. Her hand began to light up, (y/n)’s body seemingly absorbing Carols energy.

“W-what are you doing?” Sam asked, voice cracking as some found the strength to look.

“In Kree culture, this is how we say goodbye. We leave a slight piece of ourselves with the loved one so that we may move on. So that we can find a new piece to complete us.” Steve felt his heart tare, allowing another round of tears to flood his face.

Though they were victorious, the sounds of the Avengers grief echoed around the battlefield as others continued to gather and witness the occasion.  

—————

The funeral was held by the ocean on a cliff edge and everyone was in attendance. Most Steve knew but some he didn’t. They all lined the edge of the cliff, looking out to sea as the traditional ceremonial song of saving grace for her send off played in the background. 

Steve’s eyes didn’t drift from the sun slowly setting at the edge of the water. He thought about how he and (y/n) would see their last sunset together, in no way did he believe it would be just him standing at the edge of the world- alone. 

Surrounding him was was sounds of music and soft sobs as some tried to contain it, while others were less successful. Steve face was red and blotchy as tears continued to fall down his face, the orange light from the sun reminding him of the colours of her abilities. 

The wind through his hair instigated another round of tears as he remembered she weren’t there to run your hands through it anymore. The warmth of the sun told him the warmth of her body there to tug him closer in the cold mornings. The soft rustles of the grass where she used to run carelessly through the grass fields, all the while smiling cheeky back at him.

Hearing a giggle, Steve looked over to find a small Morgan, who wasn’t old enough to quite understand the situation, pointed and laughed. Following her finger, he spotted two dolphins diving in and out of the water together. 

“Daddy, daddy- look!” Tony calmed his daughter down and smiled softly at her. Tony’s eyes moved over to his captain, noticing the man watching the dolphins too. Another round of tears present in his eyes, the orange of the sun reflecting within them. 

“Daddy, did you know that Mrs. Blake says dolphins find a friend and stay with them forever?” Looking down with slight shock at the timing, Tony looked down at his daughter and then over to the man who looked so worn and tired. 

As everyone left the edge, music still echoed in the background, instilling the solemn mood, Steve stayed. His chest constricted as he tried to contain his heart breaking sobs. Small footsteps were heard next to Steve before a small hand slipped into his own.

For a moment, Steve was shocked before glancing down. Two big brown eyes looked back at him.

“Did aunty (y/n) save my daddy?” Steve couldn’t help but allow a small watery smile slip over his lips. Grasping the little girls hand a little tighter, Steve knelt down in front of her. 

“Yeah, she did. She loved you and your dad too much to see him get hurt.” Morgan looked around before looking back at Steve and for a moment Morgan looked much older than the age of five.

“She loved you too?” Steve laughed lightly.

“Yeah… well I hope she did.” His smile was soft, though his heart squeezed even further. 

“Then why are you sad?” Morgan looked at Steve with serious eyes. He looked out to the ocean before glancing back at the smaller Stark. 

“Because she is far away from me and I’m going to miss her.” Morgan seemed to consider some things in her head, glancing around at all the people. 

“No, she’s not.” Steve frowned, now confused as Morgan took her hand from his and lay it over his heart.

“She lives in your heart. Daddy tells me that people we love don’t really leave us.” Morgan seemed to take a deep breath as is she was the one explaining something to a toddler. A typical stark trait it seemed. Steve was shocked and a fresh batch of tears came to his eyes.

“Daddy said that they live through us. Through the people we love… like you and like daddy. Uncle Sammy and uncle Bucky.” Steve let the tears flow past wide eyes as Morgans eyes glanced around to the people she spoke of. In that moment Steve felt everything all over again. His head fell down to his chest as a sob began rocking his body.

Tony Stark came to usher his daughter away as Steve head rose to watch. His broken face watched as Tony and Morgan Stark approached Bucky, clasping and hand on his shoulder before shaking Sam’s hand. Steve knew that he was making peace because of (y/n) and in that moment, Steve knew Morgans words rode true. 

Standing up once again, he looked out to the ocean which now resembled that of black ink in its darkness. The only thing to light it was the light of the moon and stars.

Standing by the cliffs edge alone, nobody approached him for an hour, allowing him time alone. 

How do you apologise for something of that magnitude? Most thought as they glanced at him occasionally. But finally, one thought he’d had enough time grieving alone. 

“She’d never want you to be alone, you know?” The voice of Sam Wilson said. Steve didn’t move from his place nor respond as he watched the vast ocean. 

“(Y/N) loved the water. She used to tell me it was because theres nothing more freeing and alive then-”

“-being in the source of all life? Yeah, she used that one on me too.” Steve finished flatly. Sam watched as his best friend stood stock still.

“I have a question for you though.” Steve still watched the ocean, the way it moved and the way the moon made the water sparkle.

“She said ‘find her.’” Steve simply shrugged not wanting to have this conversation in this particular moment. When Sam recognised he wasn’t going to talk, he continued.

“You know back in DC, we had a chat about you. She thought you were her sunshine on a rainy day, damn near blinded me with her smile every time she saw you.” A small smile slipped through and onto Steve’s face. 

“But she knew, she was smart that way. She knew it was only a matter of time for the two of you.” Steve finally turned to Sam with a frown. 

Why was he telling him this?

Sam continued to stare at the ocean, he knew it would hurt but he needed Steve to know. 

“She told me that it was like you were holding your breath, waiting.” Steve eyes began watering, having a clue as to what she had been talking about.

“(Y/N) could feel me holding onto Peggy.” Steve laughed out as tears fell down his cheeks. Sam smiled softly at him as he clasped a hand on his shoulder. 

“And you know what she said to me after I questioned her on it?” Steve shook his head and faced the ground, whereas Sam smiled softly. 

“(Y/N) said that when the time comes, she can let you go. That your endgame really lay with the other woman. She was just happy to have the time with you that she did.” Steve turned his face to the sky as a small sob wracked his body. 

“I hope by this point you’re starting to realise she was too good for you.” Sam joked with a serious undertone as Steve continued to watch as the night sky moving slowly, stars dotting them. 

The universe carried on though it hadn’t lost one of its greatest inhabitants. The world would always go on, Steve figured, provided they continued to sacrifice themselves to keep it that way. 

Like (y/n). 

“Yeah. (y/n) really was. She was the best of us, always was.” Tears flowed down his face, a bright strike  suddenly ran through the sky above; also known as Carol Danvers.

“So, are you going to find this other woman?” Steve stopped as he watched a shooting star go past and joined the rest, seemingly placing itself on Carols left. 

Those two always had a close bond and Steve liked to think that maybe she was now amongst the stars, watching over him, Carol and the Avengers. He also believed it was some weird sign from (y/n), telling him to keep his promise. 

But he couldn’t.

“No, I don’t think so but I’m not staying here either.” Sam raised an eye brow while Steve carried on. 

“I don’t think I told her I loved her enough. She always had no hesitation is relaying the words but they always seemed to get caught in my throat. But I did. I loved her and although she didn’t realise it. She was my endgame.” 

————

From above Carol Danvers looked down at the small twinkling lights from the cliffs edge and watched Steve Rogers. Smirking as another light joined her in flight. 

“I take it, it’s going well?” Captain Marvel turned to look at the woman, who in death became immortal in her own way.

“For a funeral, you could say that.” The star looks down at the masses, seeing them clearing as night falls but two figures stand at the edge. One darker skinned man pats another on the shoulder before leaving him alone. 

“He misses you.” 

(Y/N) looks down to the man who was everything to her and smiled lightly as she watched him look up to where her and Carol were before finally retreating down the hill and begin attempting talking to the masses. 

“And I, him. We’re on different paths now and maybe in a different time or universe we will come back together but I’m not done serving just yet.”

“We’ve only just begun.” Carol looked to (y/n), a small smile on her face, before her helmet covered her head and she shot from the atmosphere and into space. 

For a second (y/n) hesitated as she saw Steve head look to the sky, seemingly right at her. 

“I love you, Steven Rogers. You’ll be just fine.” And finally, she took off after Carol. A whole universe in need of a hero. 

End Credits Song

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[yourlocalmusicalprostitute]

Cry to Me Ben Hardy x Reader

Howdy again! I'm here with a gift for the incredible @owensgrxdy ❤ I saw that you enjoy movie soundtracks & since we share that in common I went through some of my favorite movies which landed me on this song! Its from Dirty Dancing and I really suggest you give the song a listen.

Few things before you read: this is a good old fashioned (lover boy) friends to lovers troupe, theres a kissing scene & mention of sex, but I wouldnt say this is 18+. Still read with caution, if that kind of stuff bothers you please dont read **i cant do cuts im on mobile stop judging me**

Doncha feel like cryin'

Doncha feel like cryin'

C'mon baby, (c'mon) cry to me

Had it really been twenty-three days? Twenty-three entire days that your apartment grew colder by the minute.

Google advised you on day eight that it takes three months to get over a major break up, so you began to keep tally on the wall paper of your mind.

For twenty-three days your body only knew work and your couch. A shower weasled its way in there only a few times. You hated to admit that, but you can't step foot in your shower without thinking of every thing that occurred in it. All of the roaming hands, pleased noises, muscles tense then relaxed.

You shifted on your couch. The memories placed a sad pit in your stomach. You'd give up everything just to have him back. Maybe not even him, just the comfort of him, if that were even possible.

A few loud knocks landed on your door. You knew it couldn't be him, but you still held the hope. Quickly, you stood and walked to the door. Just before opening you adjusted your more than oversized shirt and gave your armpits a sniff. You were good to go to open the door.

But you hesitated. If it were who you wanted it to be he would clearly see the mess you were. Frankly it was embarassing. The man walked out one week before Christmas, all things he wanted to keep already packed. He had to have it planned for a while.

You took a step back. There's no way you're answering the door now, your mind talked you out of it. But the knocking happened again. It was freezing out, you couldn't leave him there, so you opened the door.

It was just Ben.

"Oh...hey, what are you doing here?" Ben rarely showed up unannounced.

"You weren't answering any of my calls." Ben let himself in. It was infact freezing. He trudged snow in with him.

"Yeah, sorry. I-I've been busy." That was true. You were busy moping and you could tell Ben knew by the way his eyebrows raised at you.

"Well, I haven't seen you in a month. I brought wine," Ben looked around and saw the bottle you already had open, "but I guess you've had some already."

"It's been twenty-three days actually." You took the bottle of wine and sauntered toward the kitchen. Ben followed and leaned onto the island.

"What?" He asked and you sighed.

"It's been twenty-three days." You informed him again and allowed him to follow you back to the couch.

The television was the brightest thing in your space. You had a few christmas lights up, but many of them weren't lit. You could never figure out how to fix them, but your ex knew. Another reason why you wanted him there with you.

"Well that's much too long. I should've came sooner." Ben brought his feet onto your coffee table. You slapped his knee, he moved them reluctantly.

"It's fine. You were working."

"Yeah, but I never fail to make time for you, and you need a friend right now." You didn't intend to scoff at Ben's words, but you did.

"What I need is a machine to just erase everything in my brain." Ben shook his head at you.

"I'm sorry he hurt you. He's such a dick. Anyone that can walk out on you like that has no idea what they're giving up." Ben always knew what to say.

For the first time in over three weeks you cracked a bit of a smile. You moved closer to Ben and lay your head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you Ben. He left and I...I just felt so alone, which is so stupid because you're my friend, you're always right there. Always one call or text away." You stopped talking to take a breath. Tears were beginning to form along your water line. Sitting there with Ben made you realize you hadn't really allowed yourself to cry.

"I just didn't want to come to you like this, crying." You finished talking and Ben took hold of your hand.

"Please don't ever hesitate again. Cry to me all you need, I'll turn the world upside down to make you feel better." The sincerity in Ben's voice was richer than it had ever been.

You looked up and Ben's eyes were red too. "God, I'm sorry." You let go of Ben's hand to bring your own to his face. Your thumb caught a tear and wiped it away.

When you went to move your hand away, Ben's came up. He held your palm against his cheek. Then, in the swiftest but most gentle motion, Ben moved his head to press a kiss on your palm.

Surprisingly you gasped, but didn't move. Ben kissed your palm again, then your wrist, and traveled further up your arm. "You're beautiful," Ben kissed your upper arm, "you're valid," he then kissed your collarbone, "I love you," you weren't stopping him, he kissed just below your ear, "I'll do anything for you." That's where Ben stopped.

Your breathing had quickened without your knowledge. Ben had never been so intimate with his kisses before. He had kissed your hand or cheek when greeting you, but this felt as if he had been wanting to kiss you that way.

The two inches of air between his mouth and yours grew thicker. "Would you really do anything for me?" Your question was barely audible. It seemed like if you made in sudden movements that your mouth would collide with his.

"Of course. You're my.." Best friend. Ben was going to call you his best friend, but he didn't want to say that. He didn't want that title anymore.

"Best friend." You finished for him and he nodded slowly. Neither of you had moved. "Would we still be best friends if I kissed you?"

Ben raised his eyebrows at you. "I suppose, can't know for sure. I mean we haven't done...it."

His lips are a little thinner than yours so at first it seemed as if your lips were cradling Ben's. As the kiss went on Ben grew more confident, his hand found its way to the nape of your neck which sent your mind spiraling.

Ben used his thumb to rub lovingly on your cheek as you kissed. You don't remember when exactly, but his tongue was now tangled with yours. He felt so amazing. The urge to wrap your legs around him grew more intense as the seconds passed. You were going to, but Ben pulled back.

Fear immediately swam through your body. Ben was searching your eyes for something and you prayed he could see that you wanted this. You wanted him. Even though you felt as if you never knew how badly you wanted him until now.

"You just broke up with him. I can't do this. I don't want you to regret it." Ben felt as he was on fire. He waited ages to get you where you are, but he couldn't move forward if you weren't completely on board.

"God Ben, why didn't I choose you? Am I crazy?" You and Ben laughed for the first time since he arrived.

"Maybe a little, but that's okay." Ben's tongue darted between his teeth as he smiled and you groaned.

"Stop being cute Ben, you're killing me." He laughed more, this time hiding his blushing face between your neck and shoulder.

You were still best friends. Best friends that spent Christmas day having sex, eating, watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas, then more sex.