#but theres times where ive told a friend i love them and then made it all awkward-

[thefunniestguy]

Watching romance is both great and awful bc- it's so cute when it's well done !! It makes me so happy !!! I get immersed and it makes me feel like I'm the one falling in love !!!!! And then the episode ends and I sit wondering if I'll ever know what they feel like-

[casual-socks]

HI IVE BEEN MASSIVELY HYPERFIXATED ON TMA FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND IVE SEEN MAYBE ONE (1) SINGULAR PERSON TALK ABOUT THIS and i am not even kidding when i say its been a passionate topic of conversation for that entire year. people know me for this. it comes up and my entire friend group SIGHS AUDIBLY because they know the 20 minute tangent i Will be taking

WHATTTTT IS GOING ON WITH GERARD KEAYS NAME. what. what???? okay i

youre telling me jonathan sims went to oxford college (relatively prestigious if my memory serves me correctly) for RESEARCH. for, to put it simply, READING. and he looks at the name gerard and goes Yeah looks like jared to me lets go with that!!! HELLO?? NO?? not even mentioning the fact that he is being what could easily be called possesed when reading these statements which leaves us with two options

1. the ENTIRETY OF ENGLAND CANNOT PRONOUNCE THE NAME GERARD.

2. jonathan sims is so monumentally stupid that he is somehow breaking this possesion for the 2 seconds it takes to say the name gerard (i love him i swear i will sound so so hateful for this entire post but its out of love)

and like??? its not even that EVERYONE is calling him jared? elias and gertrude have both called him gerard and thats just off the top of my head. i also think jon said it correctly ONEEEE SINGULAR TIME. Just the once.

now i feel it necessary to mention jared hopworth here as well. because why, why on gods green earth, would you name a character gerard. pronounce it jared. TURN AROUND AND GO. lets make another jared but this ones made out of meat and is sort of implied to not be too fond of gay people. Yeah he steals peoples bones. Yeah.

SO LIKE GERARD KEAY IS THE OBJECTIVELY SUPERIOR JARED EXCEPT HES NOT JARED HIS NAME IS LITERALLY GERARD?? FUCK YOU SO MUCH

so okay. sure whatever this podcast is sooo british that a bunch of people are just completely failing to pronounce gerard. sure. whatever you say.

GERRY?????? HIS FUCKING NICKNAME IS GERRY???????????? NO!!!!

NO. no. LOOK ME IN MY EYES. LOOK AT THE NAME GERARD. GER-ARD. AND YOURE TELLING ME YOURE GONNA CALL HIM JARED. SND THEN YOURE GONNA CALL HIM GERRY WITH A G???? gerry with a g. that is utterly ridiculous i cannot even believe this that is monumentally frustrating i cannot even begin to describe to you all the anger i have experienced over this particular bit because why on earth would you take that particular extra step??? gerard -> gerry. sure. thin ice, but sure. jared -> jerry. sure! yeah! makes sense! GERARD -> JARED -> GERRY? you must be playing some sick joke jonny sims. seriously. you are a cruel and usual man

now this is when i start to wind down, but far from where i finish. lets take a moment to really pause and soak in his actual name here.

gerard.

that is so unfortunate already i mean really, gerard is such a…. a name…. i mean his mom skins people and puts them in books and the cruelest thing i think she ever couldve done is honest to god name her son gerard.

keay.

now dont get me wrong. theres nothing seriously wrong with spelling it keay on principle. but god, really? youre gonna shove all this gerard gerry jared business in front of me and tell me his last name is just key but gone the extra mile. really feels like the cherry on top of a shit cake.

now if you consider gerards character i truly feel as though thats the deepest disservice here. gerard keay is an incredible character whos short appearance is so memorable and charming, and despite his VERY little screen time he still has an intriguing and well fleshed out character. really, gerard keay is so excellent character wise. But, every time i think about him for any more than 5 minutes, almost this exact rant is being told to whoever is unfortunate enough to be near me at the time.

another thing i think also really adds to this is just the nature of gerard keay. everything you can say about that guy could be ended with “and everone calls him jared for some reason”. hes emo and everyone calls him jared for some reason. his hair dye job is so miserable that EVERYONE mentions it and everyone calls him jared for some reason. he has mommy issues and everyone calls him jared for some reason.

okay i need to wrap this up before i start just repeating WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY for thousands of words but heres a graph i made for my friends in october 2022 when i was going on about this in the middle of my spanish class 👍👍

[lonelypep]

hi tumblr

ive been rewatching gravity falls and i thought it would be funny to recap certain events in the show with no context whatsoever

-dipper sings dancing queen by abba with a mutant bear he was about to kill.

-stan, a man in his 60-70s, lectures a child on how to formulate an evil plan. (the child is 4 years old, stans rival, and having a mental breakdown because stan's granchildren are in his armpits)

-dipper gets literally mauled by a wolf and decides its better than going to his sister's sleepover.

-larry king gets decapitated.

-kids break in to a convenience store where one of them gets high out of her mind on cheap illegal ice cream (normal tuesday for these kids)

-kids find out about the 8th and a half president: who made the first all-baby supreme court.

-grunkle stan wins the football bowl. he taught the footballers and their gloating friends a lesson. he wins a football winning trophy, and a beautiful woman aptly named beautiful woman. but he couldnt have done it, any of it, without his sidekick footbot.

-soos is canonically afraid of british dog men. hes so real for that honestly.

-ARE YOU SICK OF PILES OF OWLS CONSTANTLY BLOCKING YOUR DRIVEWAY?! WELL THEN YOU GOTTA GET OWL TROWEL

-youre laughing. people are sick of piles of owls constantly blocking their driveway and youre laughing.

-the only on screen character death, with the exception of bill, is that of big henry, who sacrificed himself by taking a golf ball to the other side of the mine. the protagonists never learn this.

-soos turns into clay and starts breaking the laws of the universe. so stan kills him with a radio.

-two kids travel back in time and crush toby's musical theatre dreams.

-"dudebro" became a mainstay in my regular vocabulary for two years because of this show.

-grunkle stan teaches a bear how to drive. he almost gets arrested in this episode. not for teaching a bear how to drive but because of tax fraud.

-soos' stomach emits whale noises.

-mcgucket has apparently exploded an entire downtown city because his pal earnie didn't come to his retirement party. justified tbh

-stan starts booing some little kids because they told their grandpa they loved him

-let me just set the scene for a sec here: its 2016. its a beautiful summer day, where the hazy nostalgia of a music festival fills your eyes, your ears, and the uneasy excitement of love in the hot summer air makes every second better than the last. suddenly, a gigantic flaming head of a man saying "i eat kids" descends upon you from the sky. the graphic horror is something youll never forget. the grotesque image of people in terror at this gargantuan mass of flaming flesh. it burns into your eyes. is this it for you? you see a child, clueless to the situation, ask his mother his final words: is the giant flaming head going to eat us? she says yes. as it consumes you, you cry a single tear. im done being dramatic but this did happen

-beautiful men eat out of stan's trash (this apparently happens consistently)

-youre laughing. darn beautiful men are always eating out of his trash and youre laughing.

-stan strips on public television.

-gourney gets eaten by a halloween monster. he is only freed when soos eats the monnster.

-the gravity falls universe has a public television program where babies fight each other.

-grunkle stan tries to burn aforementioned four year old nemesis alive.

-ok not really but he tries to blind him at least which is still pretty bad.

-grunkle stan tries to steal an animatronic badger

-mabeland has a government entirely run by mabel. this makes mabel an autocratic fascist. sorry i dont make the rules.

-soos' mom turns into a chair.

-theres a character named toot toot mc bumblesnazzle, who plays a banjo. go ahead and guess his narrative importance. if you guess cult leader, correct!

-neil degrasse tyson plays a pig.

and last but certainly not least, stan has illegally shipped pugs across the us border.

[stainedstardom]

Can you do a chad and reader imagine, where reader and chad are best friends since middle school, and lately have gotten even closer since they both developed feeling for eachother, but reader walks in on chad and Tara kissing at the party and they get into it and chad and Tara say things they don’t mean to the reader and then reader gets attacked really bad and when she wakes up in the hospital she doesn’t think she can forgive them?

yes omg the angst and pain and sadness

I CARED TOO MUCH

chad meeks martin x fem!reader (not dating but she is in love with him)

falling in love with your best friend is the worse thing you could ever do to yourself. you knew they wouldn't love you the same way, wouldn't care for you the same way, wouldn't look at you the same way and yet you fell.

you and chad had been best friends since 5th grade, over time you got closer and closer. after everything happened during your senior year in woodsboro, chad decided that he wanted you to never be alone, he wanted you to be safe and sound and the only way he could do that was by being as close to you as he could be.

so he came to new york with you, against his own judgement, he began to fall for you the way you fell for him but something in him told him it wouldn't end well. told him you didn't feel the same way and so he did what he does best.

he distanced himself, he made himself scarce and practically non-existent in your life. it hurt you more then you thought it would but you let it happen. you let him fade no matter how much you hated it and no matter how much it hurt.

you stuck with him and the group. which brings you to here, you sat in the living room of sams apartment. tara and chad were away and you knew what was happening but you didn't want to believe it. you wanted to make it fake

"FUCK Y/N, GO GET CHAD AND TARA" sam yelled as quinns dead body got thrown and you screamed. you ran to the room and opened the door to see chad and tara

"fuck y/n go away" chad yelled as he made eye contact with you. you were frozen

"god y/n youre so fucking weird, theres a reason we don't talk to you" tara told you and you nodded. you felt your chest tighten and almost forgot what was happening outside

"Y/N GO, I DON'T WANT YOU HERE" he yelled and you turned to see ghostface down the hallway. they stared at you in almost a sad way, they had heard everything and even they felt bad.

"fuck run" you told them but they didn't listen, they didn't care, not until they saw you get stabbed and they ran. they didn't even look back, chad did but he didn't stop. you had blood flowing out of your arm and your stomach.

you passed out and the next morning you woke up in the hospital , the light shined on your face and you groaned making mindy look over at you

"y/n youre awake" she said

"im alive?" you asked and she laughed

"youre alive" she told you as she hugged you and you hugged her back. in the corner of the room, there was chad and tara. they stared at you and you scoffed as you looked away from them

"y/n" chad began and you turned to him

"get out" you exclaimed

"what?" he asked

"get the fuck out" you said and tara sighed as she walked out with Mindy. chad sighed

"im sorry" he said and you laughed even though it hurt you, the stitches seemed to stretch but not burst and you were grateful for that.

"ya know, i never thought you could be such an asshole, actually no I knew you could be one but not to me. you've never been mean to me and I guess that's what made me love you" you told him

"love me?" he asked

"ive been in love with you for years and you never noticed, at some point i thought you loved me too but i realized that i just cared too much and you didn't care at all" you stated

"no no i do care" he tried

"chad come on, dont lie we both know you don't. i mean last night you and tara both told me that there's a reason you don't talk to me and you don't want me there. i think you should leave because right now, I cant even look at you" you told him

"y/n please" he begged

"youre not the guy i fell in love with and you're not the guy I thought I knew" you said and that took his breath away. he got up as he walked out of the room and looked to see mindy , sam, tara and ethan staring at him.

they had all heard and usually they would be proud of you for telling him your feelings but now they just felt sad for you and wanted to hug you.

you couldnt forgive them and you didnt know if you ever would

A/N; the angst broke me

[trainingdummyrabbit]

What do you think of aroace spectrum angela or like. any variant idk

REAL AND TRUE AND CORRECT. NOT TAKING ARGUMENTS AT THIS TIME <3

like. ok ive definitely spoken abt it offhand sometime before so im just going to use this opportunity to aimlessly ramble ok? ok. hyperfixation trap card.

like yeah theres the whole 'only having rep thats robots and aliens and etc' thing which is very much a fair and appropriate response, but also like. at a point you Do just kinda have to go 'Man Just Look At Her.'

i certainly couldnt say it as well as other folks, but... Man Just Look At Her. theres so many threads that are Literally Right There, its kinda hard Not to. id have to study again n cite my sources or whatever but also this is my house. ok.

like theres the obvious 'i see you as a friend' interaction with her and roland sometime mid-to-late ruina, which is. again. Its Right There. but its also the way she looks in lobcorp, and the instant she gets any agency she immediately veers in a completely different direction. (as a reclamation of self, as another small rebellion, as an exploration of how She would like to present herself and be seen)

its that interaction with xiao, her genuine confusion towards the concept of lovers, what they are, what makes it so different from any other sort of person. (as a jab towards her own isolation, the values she was made to uphold, her unfamiliarity towards cityfolk and the ways they carry themselves-- and that seeming contradiction of that affection vs. the way she was told cityfolk Work.)

angela, to me, feels like the type of character to simply Be. for lack of a better term. its a difficult concept to Describe in a way that makes sense, (despite me being, how do you say, In The Same Boat.) its something i could see her toss around out of curiosity, but honestly just... not really care for. she has things to do.

like... angela is just. a very cut and dry character, to put it in a way. she just kinda states things as they are, sometimes rather bluntly. its hard to elaborate because things simply Are. plain and simple, no need to fuss over it. and thats what this feels like itd be, yknow?

also iam just shrimply. forever an angela+roland qpr truther. tbh. like i dont know what the Hell those two have going on but you literally Cannot separate them. i hesitate to call it 'love,' because. well yes, but also no. but also kind of? but not quite. again, it just Is. they simply Are.

its one of those things that just feels Odd seeing her in any other context, in regards to romance or whatever. which is tied to a whole slew of other problems only tangentially related to the subject (shipping content bias, character simplification, and so on and so on,) but its just... man she would Not fucking say that. she would not Do that, she would not Act that way.

like i certainly believe it Is possible to have romantic interpretations with her, but its gonna be. Specific. with the way she carries herself, how she acts, and how she reacts to things. even with the romantic elements, itd still dip into aro experience territory, if you know what im saying. like whoever it is, this shit isnt going to fit into Roles and Archetypes, like how a lot of folks like to write ship content. for lack of a better descriptor, its gonna be Weird.

and thats honestly whats so frustrating about it! you Can have an interesting through-line and interpretation of that sort of thing, but a lot of the time whenever i (rarely) see it, its just... Typical Beauty Standards, Hot Secretary Lady, Scary Controlling Whatever the hell like... i hate t judge but cmon guys we can do so much better than that. ironically, wheres the Love? the respect for who she is, the curiosity on exploring that sort of thing with who she Is? guys come On...

which. grain of salt, because its not like i search out ship content, yknow. im not gonna speak like an authority for stumbling onto stuff sometimes. the fact that it isnt so popular and in-your-face is genuinely refreshing honestly, but. tangent.

anyway arospec angela agenda never sleeps and iam one of the strongest soldiers. the ace is Non Negotiable come back later with a warrant so i can Not Look At It. (<- this is a bit. (<- but im serious.)) thankyou. bows.

[twistedchristianscience]

forgot to post about him here BUT I finished my silly little Vashraptor fursuit just before Emerald City Comic Con (and Vancoufur)

except he's not actually "finished", just finished enough for me to wear him to those cons for a bit. he still needs a few more details, namely feetpaws, the stitches on his torso, a more raptor-like hand for his prosthetic, and claws. plus I'm not totally happy with his ears so I might redo them. I'll make legs and different prosthetics eventually, but that probably won't be for a while.

as per usual of raptors, he looks pretty silly at any angle other than side profiles, so its a little difficult to get good photos while im actually wearing him.

more ramblings + WIP shots under the cut because this was the most complicated project ive ever done and im insane

so far, he's taken about $700 worth of materials and 150 hours but I'll make another post with updated numbers when he's fully finished.

the headbase is made of EVA foam, with a hinge from WeaselsOnEasels (covered with that pink fabric because I accidentally put it on the inside, rip) and 40 teeth from DreamVisionCreations. the eyes and antorbital fenestrae have .5mm computer fan pvc mesh-- his vision and ventilation are fantastic, rivaling my suit with a 3d printed base, but fine details like writing and text are lost as per usual with vision meshes (that's not normally much of a problem for me with the furry conventions I go to annually and know the layout of, but it made navigating ECCC a nightmare since ive never been before and the venue is HUGE. I imagine ill have the same struggles if I go to sakuracon-- anyone wanna be my handler for that? lol). the unfurred section is coated with Plastidip and spraypainted dark brown. most of his mane is zippered on both sides so I can remove it and make interchangable versions (I plan to make spiked-up hair in yellow, half yellow/black, and fully black) while the tip of it is magnetic so it lies flat against the base. his tongue is also magnetic. I was originally going to make magnetic eyelids, but in all honesty, I might prefer to make them velcro as they tend to be easier to adjust + more secure than magnetic ones.

the part I hated making the most was his tail, not because it's bad, but because when I was almost done with it my dog got to it and chewed it apart.

you can see there's an awkward little bump along the top near where the light yellow and black fur connect-- when im wearing the tail that bump makes it look broken. but since he's so mangled anyway it can just be considered part of his design since I didn't add any scars to it

the tail feathers were a bit of a nightmare to make but the progress shots are cool

the part I loved making the most, and that im most proud of, is the bodysuit. I thought the scars were going to be a nightmare to sew, but they were actually the most fun and I love how they turned out!! he will be getting an interchangable mane down his back as well but I didn't have the time to finish it. I might also extend the shoulders a little for a better fit, particularly the left as theres a noticeable gap between the suit and the prosthetic as it is.

I showed this video of the pattern to a friend at When Furballs Strike a few weeks back and she told me I was insane. she is correct, and I'm fairly sure me actually finishing the bodysuit in a week only proves it further. but I did it anyway, and I had fun doing it.

Fur used: Yellow (Hair/Mane, Tail Feathers): HowlFabric Buttercup Luxury Shag Light Yellow (Main Body/Face): MofuMofu Mi Yellow Long Fur White (Neck, Top Surgery Scars, Tail): BigZFabric White Short Shag Brown (Ears, Tail Feathers): HowlFabric Fossil Grey Luxury Teddy Black (Arm, Tail): HowlFabric Natural Black Luxury Teddy Scars: HowlFabric Salmon Minky Tongue: HowlFabric Banana Minky Inner Mouth: HowlFabric Vanilla Minky Inner Ears: BigZFabric White Minky

note about the mofumofu fur: it's pretty thin, if you trim too much you can see the backing through it. HOWEVER. this proved to be a positive for the bodysuit, as it's MUCH more breathable than thicker furs like howl's and bigz's. (for the one day I could make it to ECCC and two days of Vancoufur, I wore this suit for 10-12 hours straight with a sweatshirt underneath and never felt like I was overheating, the minky scars most likely helped with it but STILL??) it also doesn't get as matted. whether or not it's worth the $55/yd price depends on what you need it for, if it's within your price range and you're particularly sensitive to heat, I'd say go for it. I only needed a yard for this as I'm kindof a little guy (5'5", 120lbs) so it was worth it for me.

[pitxroxas]

ive been writing for visionstars for funzies so heres some hcs

Tsukasa Suou: His hydro horse thingy is a mare and her name is Iris. Tsukasa could be a reverse childe, uses sword in normal combat and then mounted on Iris he switches to hydro bow bc why the hell not. (also bc he’s canonically good at mounted archery and theres a really cursed [!] era card for that + story) He’s from Fontaine and his family works under the Archon. They’re the head of the Archon’s defense for her and the region and Tsukasa is going to be the next general. Tsukasa is very fond of Inazuman treats (loovess dango milk). Also Tsukasa sleeps on Iris when they camp out

Arashi: Arashi is from Liyue and is a model in Liyue. Arashi may as well be related to Zhongli and may as well be an Adepti, but that isn’t confirmed :) (In Enstars Canon she has a big bro, maybe Xiao could be hers??) Arashi’s burst is similar in form with Zhongli’s (big object be hurled + stun) but instead of it being a big boom boom rock its a bunch of star-shaped shards of geo that skewer said enemy and explodes, giving stun. oh. and killing them. Arashi is also the mom of the group, completely against her will and its not certain to say she likes it or not.

Leo: Leo is a flaming piss weasel and that’s literally it (/j) he cannot control his powers whatsoever, so whenever he gets an emotional spurt of energy expect everything to be on fire. Fires comes out from him EVERYWHERE. It’s usually his hands within his control, his nose and maybe his mouth outside of control. Leo has totally made a claymore out of pyro and showed it to Ruka. Ruka was not pleased when half the kitchen was burned to shreds. He also is very good at woodworking (mostly the burning thingy) and sets wood on fire specifically to compose.. yippee!! Leo is also from Mondstat btw. Also, Leo’s burst is much like Yanfei’s, a birthday of music!! Boom boom!!

Izumi: Traveling model from Snezhnaya who would rather be home. He freezes everything because he hates everybody (actually just his insecurities talking) he’s like Elsa but if Elsa skipped therapy at any given moment. Izumi actually knew Leo when he went to Mond for a modeling gig and they became friends there and then never met again. Until now. Izumi is also hella good at ice skating and thats his entire fighting style. Skid skid boom deaded. Like op said, he works like yelan. I think his burst should just be a wall of ice. Defense!!! ahahah!!!!

Ritsu: Personally nobody knows where he’s from and no one is allowed to touch his vision (bc he said so) but everyone speculates Sumeru. Ritsu is not from Sumeru but I’ll keep you wondering. Ritsu sleeps on everything and everybody. One time he slept on Iris and Tsukasa has been angry since. (“How many times have I told you, Ritsu-Senpai!! Iris is not a pillow!!! You can’t sleep on her!!!”) (“But.. you do…”) (“Thats not the point!!!”) Ritsu has honestly found a great attraction to Arashi (in a platonic way) he sees her as a big sister and Arashi is sooooo validated by that. Ritsu’s burst may as well be something like Mona’s or Layla’s, a debuffer / debuffing field for the boss and a buff for the knights.

Unit: They do actually go around and sing and dance and they also go around and cause problems…. on accident?? Tsukasa and Arashi are usually damage control

They’ve actually set some important landmarks on fire.

Izumi has froze some people before and got away with it.

Despite their crimes, Knights is pretty popular for their music and choreography!! Also how they add elemental powers within their performances!! Except for Leo he isnt allowed.

and thats it for my visionstars hcs!!! Thank you so so SOO much @flcarius and your gf for the ideas that sparked the au!!! I love it so much that i. write. teehee :3

[gutsfics]

pls tell me all about devi before the events of ilitw!! what kind of activities did he do? who were some of his friends? did he still talk to any of the people from his childhood friend group? if so, who? etc. etc. anything else you want to share!!

ok this is gonna kinda jump around a bit bc thats how my thoughts are rn :3 i love this ask though thank u for letting me talk about my special guy

so after Jane's death, he did try his best to hang onto the friend group for a while (especially Noah) but due to not having a very good therapist, his kid logic made him think "thinking about Jane makes me sad, and not thinking about her i can be happy, but i'd rather think about her and be sad forever than evetually move on and forget" so he kinda shut himself off from everyone so he could hold his memory of her forever

his parents tried their best to help him but the therapists they took him too didnt believe him when he told them about Mr Red (or when they did believe him, they only believed him if they were reading lines that weren't there and assuming that Mr Red was a real living guy in the woods and jumping to conclusions about it) so maybe like a month or two after Jane died he just... stopped talking, bc what was the point of speaking if no one was going to listen? and then he stopped talking to anyone ever until half way through his freshman year of highschool when he told Cody to "gargle my cock and balls"

because of Devi being mute for all that time, he didn't really have any friends (which he was fine with for reasons stated earlier) & a lot of people found him kinda weird and offputting for the most part, especially when he got really into expressing himself through art, specifically photography. a lot of "ew that weird quiet kid is taking pictures of things again what a creep" but for the most part he just shrugged it off

Cody used to think he was kinda cool bc he was quiet and goth and in 6th grade asked him to the fall formal but Devi turned him down and that's when he started bullying him. he tried to turn it into a "HAH WELL OBVIOUSLY NO ONE WOULD WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU YOU CREEP WEIRDO YOURE STUPID TO THINKING I WANTED TO GO WITH YOU" which somehow worked on everyone around them despite the fact Devi turned him down

after he started talking again, he joined the yearbook club & got really good at the composition of pictures of people & formatting them on the pages, but bc he was still a bit of a loner at this point no one else in the club realized just how much he did? especially after the older kids in the club graduated, bc they were the ones encouraging him and teaching him how to do the formatting and stuff. ive actually been rotating a fic in my head where post ilitw Lucas goes to the yearbook club to see how theyre doing bc its almost time to get em printed and its like. not even half done and also theres a memorial page for Cody but not for Devi????

in Sophmore year he took a Japanese class for an easy foreign language credit, which Tom was also in for the same reasons and they became friends :3 not as close as Tom and Andy at this point, but they'd hang out at lunch when Andy was busy and sometimes go to eachother's houses after school. but after that year the teacher for the class made sure to put them in different periods bc they would kinda. make fun of him a little bit in japanese bc he was a white guy who thought he was way better at the language than he actually was and that made him big mad

of the original group, he was probably closest with Lily when he started talking again. and then not as close w Ava and Andy but he talked w them fairly often. Lucas, Stacy, and Dan he really only saw when he was doing yearbook stuff, w that conversation he had w Dan junior year being the longest conversation he'd had w any of those three in a while (all three 100% knew he was the backbone of yearbook btw. & when people were being like "ew that weirdo goth kid w the camera is here again" they were the ones to be like "ITS FOR YEARBOOK, ASSHOLES.")

he and Noah avoided each other as much as possible. sitting next to Noah during that assembly the first day of senior year was the first time in years that one of them didn't immedeatly turn around and walk out of the room upon seeing the other in it (they lowkey had each other's scheduals memorized to better avoid each other) (for the most part Any picture of Noah that might show up in the yearbooks were not taken by Devi) (although. ngl. Devi did take a few candid photos of Noah occasionally. which he promptly would delete bc he felt bad about it. a little bc he and Noah hadnt talked in forever but mostly bc he felt like "creep weirdo with a camera" was an accurate description of him when he did that)

[ankhisms]

various ramblings trying to type thoughts ive been having

sometimes i get the feeling that people think less of me or negatively about me due to my different brain issues like not processing and understanding things etc etc and i dont know if thats my anxiety/extremely low self esteem self worth/paranoia combined with a history of people mistreating me or if thats actually happening yknow i really dont want to assume that people dislike me ive been trying to break that pattern of thinking within myself which again comes from a life time of abuse and of people very openly disliking me so my brain goes well its always been the default that people dislike us and are angry with us. its like i know i have brain processing issues but i wish that wouldnt make people like me less or think less of me. instead of telling me that im not actually stupid id like for someone to tell me that even if i am stupid they still care about me and will have compassion for me and my mistakes. ive been thinking about something a mutual said i genuinely cant remember who said it memory issues flaring up so hi if it was you but it was like. online theres this phenomena where even peoples tiny little slip ups and in the bigger picture not that big of a deal mistakes can be documented and held against them for an eternity and that for a long time theres been a certain cultivation of behavior of like. idk what the word is i dont think hyper vigilance is the right term but the kind of mentality where if you make even one mistake you have that held over your head for years. and im realizing that i really grew up with that kind of mentality surrounding me online (and similar mentalities irl) and i think that really fed into and formed a lot of different issues i have. there was a post i rbed maybe earlier this week about not thinking that youre one slip up from your friends abandoning you and i really want to get myself to believe that but the problem is that thats genuinely happened before or thats been threatened to happen before with me and so again my brain goes well it could happen again everyone you know and love could suddenly cut you off out of nowhere with no warning or everyone you know and love is secretly talking about how awful you are. and i get scared that im somehow doing things wrong without knowing that im doing things wrong or hurting people without realizing im hurting them and lately i keep just being hit with the feeling that everything i do is wrong and that im making people angry or upset with me even when im literally not doing anything and it sucks and i wish i knew an easy way to get out of it. ive mentioned this before but when it comes to my issues like this one thing is like. i dont want people to think that im so fragile and scared that ill shatter if they come to me and talk to me saying hey rey this thing you did upset me/hurt me etc i dont want people to think that ill fall apart if im told about a mistake ive made or that ive done something wrong i want people to be able to come to me and talk with me and i always want to be able to grow and admit when im wrong and i dont want to hurt people. and then ive been thinking about how even though i have lovely friends who i cherish and appreciate and love so much i still feel so lonely and seperated from everyone who i know and love and i feel like im on the other side of a glass wall and that no one can reach me and i want to get closer to people but it always feels like i cant. but i dont want to doubt my friends love for me i dont want to doubt that i have a place in peoples lives. but its really hard. anyway its almost midnight i should sleep thanks if you read this

[meduwusa]

i work at a froyo place where customers serve themselves and then i ring them up at the end. theres only one person on shift at a time at my job, so i get to experience every single customer that enters for six hours myself and i am solely responsible for their experience at the store. sometimes this can be overwhelming and stressful, but it also grants me some of the best interactions with people.

the other day i had a 10-year-old boy and his grandmother come into the store during one of our rush times. the boy was being a bit of a disturbance (loud and making a mess), but it was obvious he was excited and there are plenty of kids that come in and do similar things. no reason for me to rain on a kids parade yknow? (not to mention he was teaching some first-timers how to use the machines! put this kid on payroll!) anyway when things died down and there were only a few people left in the store, he was skipping around the room while his grandmother watched from their table. he skipped up to me time and again to ask a question about my job, the machines, the toppings, etc. i would answer and he would skip off again.

as they were leaving, the grandmother stopped to thank me for my patience. she said that he was recently diagnosed with adhd and autism, and many establishments dont tolerate his behavior. that my smile and engagement with him was more than most people bothered to do. i told her that a majority of my friends are on the spectrum as well so i totally get it, and that he was a treat honestly. her eyes lit up. she asked me if they were doing well in life and if they made it through school, and i told her they were doing just fine, making their way through college now. she thanked me again, for a different reason this time.

ive been thinking about that interaction for days now. i hope that woman breathes easier knowing there is more kindness and acceptance in the world for her grandson. i hope that kid grows up well knowing he is loved and not just accepted but welcomed. i hope more people encourage children's joy and enthusiasm, especially for neurodivergent children. there is so much hope and joy and relief in the world, if only you are willing to give it.

[yveltalreal]

for both: how do you feel about family

Yveltal: It's all I know, isn't it? Ever since the beginning, it was Xerneas, Me, and Zygarde. Of course, there was a beginning before that. There were other legends before that, but I Palkia, Dialga, and Giratina... they aren't siblings. They existed long before us. Same with Arceus. Especially true for Arceus. I need to have family because if I don't have one, if someone cannot look at me and go "That's Yveltal, they're like family to me" then what am I? What am I except the hurt? I need to be the love as well, don't I? I love them both. I love them a lot, and I love the others too. Maybe it was a mistake to love them like friends and children, rather than axes and hammers. To treat them as family rather than tools. Who knows. I am nothing without them. I miss them. I miss Zygarde, even if they hurt us. Maple: i think its complicated. i love my parents. they arent the best. they sucked. they were busy. but i love them. they learned. theyre trying better. they love me. its whatever. my mom especially though. i remember talking to her. she didnt want to be him. she didnt want to be her either, so she ran. she thought that if she wasnt there maybe her love wouldnt be so strong that it hurt. thats what she told me. word for word. i get it. i love a lot too. it took her a lot longer. it took her so much longer to not be afraid. she was always afraid that if she looked at me too hard that id snap. that her hands werent made for holding a child. she didnt want me. she didnt treat me like she wanted me. i mean she wasnt cruel but she just wasnt there. it took almost losing her to realize everything. for her to be there. i love her. i love her a lot. i love them all. but i dont know. sometimes at night, i wonder if they really do care, or if its the bare minimum. i wonder how long that would have gone on, a child alone in a house filled with pokemon until the end of time if grandma didnt find us.

and my brother. i love my new brother. im glad hes never going to experiance what i did. but hes so small and scared. just like my mother. but unlike her i am built for hurting. a whole body staying alive because of the stolen life of others. hes so small. hes so fragile. when i look at him i know what my mom felt and i know she felt it worse. its fine. im not his parent. im his sibling and by arc am i going to be a good one.

and outside of them. outside of blood. where does it begin and end. aspen and jaime? im married to them. we're legally family. and i love them like that. and tori shes my sister and law now but she was kinda like family too. and estelle. family friends is just family to my family, sometimes, and shes a family friend. my grandma wants her to call her grandma as well. shes like a cousin. even if i cant remember when we knew eachother when we were little well i remember knowing her now. at least a little. tami is like my mom, even if shes an absol. same with most of my moms pokemon actually. one of the few things i can remember as a kid is them all gathering around as solar taught them how a first aid kit worked. it was so interesting watching a beeheeyem try to explain things to the others even if i couldnt understand that the bad scrape i had stopped hurting. and pickle. shes been here forever. well not forever. but shes been with me for like over 10 years. what is she? a sister? idk. shes my partner. shes my starter. and heph is also kinda like family even if ive had her for less than a year and theres dash and theres bibi and glacier and little and. storm. im rambling. i love them. theyre family too. i love them a lot.

anyways family is a choice, but sometimes youre obligated to make a certain choice, i think.

[goremet-chef]

mannnn me and my friend. teehee

we play games together all the time and we're doing minecraft rn and idk i FEEL like its too sappy to tell her "hey i like how we are" okay like i can tell itd be hard to phrase that in a way that she wouldnt be like ".. thanks?? " OKAY SHE DOESNT MEAN IT we just. IDK how to explain it. so ill just talk about it here 😁😁

we just flow really well together, she can entertain herself mostly and i can be there and we bully the shit out of eachother and god its so fun its genuinely. i told her i was planning to tunnel into her walls but secretly, so she didnt hear it from me and she went "what?im not paying attention to you" i feel like. to other people that would sound bad but i just teeheed so hard man like . QUIETLY THATS WHY IM WRITING THIS we're still in vc but man

its really hard for me to be comfortable in vc with anyone, even if i really want to, but me and her? we just fit man. ive known her for like. 8 years at this point?? maybe a little less but either way. shes the only one of my friends that i can be alone with in vc comfortably as of right now, like IDK i never expected this but im not complaining. like even my friend ive known for 11 YEARS, i love them to bits id do anything for them, but the reality is that we are just AWKWARD PEOPLE and awkward people are sillay when they talk okay its the same with my other friend like we are just very awkward by nature so our awkwardness duplicates when we're alone, to the point where its like. he thinks its awkward and it is but its so awkward that its fucking hilarious i think its so funny man

love my friends with all my heart but something about me and her? like WE'RE SO GOOOOD we werent even that close when we first met? like she was my friends friend and became my friend by proximity but now we're tight bro we get drunk together we get high together i love that for us. i couldnt have guessed it would go this way, but thats the beauty of life 🥳 chaotic and unruly, i wouldnt have it any other way.

she comes home and tells me all her work drama and then we just pick on eachother for several hours and its so funny to me every time i dont care how many times we say the same things its always funny im always gonna make myself laugh when im mean for no reason and ill always laugh when shes mean back like IDK thats just our friendship and we like it that way its great

also shes been just like? IDK we are all queers (except one of us hes our token cishet i guess) she doesnt even remember my deadname anymore despite knowing me by that for most the time we've known eachother its great. and honestly? this is kind of embarrassing to admit but sometimes when shes making fun of me for being dumb she says 'sillay boy' in a little tune and when i get really stressed out i call myself that in my head to calm me down a bit like. NOTHING ID EVER TELL HER but we know we love eachother teehee. IDK i feel like i just express a lot of gratitude towards my other friends but not much to her, probably cuz we talk so much it just feels agiven like i cannot stand her she sucks thats why shes my bestie 😁😁

like MAN idk theres so much shit i could talk about. we fight and i propose to her in lethal company with the ring and then shes mad at me and divorced cuz i sold our ring to meet quota like. STUPID SHIT LIKE THAT. this is gonna sound weird but i just like being bullied????? like ill always throw it back is the thing we work great cuz its never one sided its a mutual thing. if i go first she say 'shut up dominic' and im like NO fuck you like . to an outsider we do not like eachother but i promise we do its making me like. GIDDY RN i love thinking about it. she just made fun of me for being on tumblr instead of building my GAZEBO but im talking about you dumbass!!!! (she doesnt have a tumblr so. what does it matter SKFJS)

i dont know its so fun for me, im just surprised that like. someone i initially didnt know all that well is now my ride or die and we fit SO GOOD like i genuinely couldve never expected it back in middle school but im glad we are the way that we are. love talking to her, love making fun of her, love when she calls me stupid and WHATEVER ELSE like god its so funny. love ignoring her and harassing children in roblox with her like we have such a good time no matter what

shes one of the very few people i can like. just get in a call with for no reason, like if she has drama to tell me and we arent really doing anything else ill still join for what i think is like 10 minutes and leave 2 hours later 💀 love leaving her too shes so dramatic she knows by the tone in my voice when i say her name that im gonna leave call and shes always like no dont do this to me gurl bye!!!!!i got better shit to do!!!!!!! (lie) love to betray her also she sucks

i remember she invited me down (like an hour drive) to watch mario movie and she took me out to olive garden and i CRIEDD it was the first time i went to olive garden and it was so good and she laughed at me. that high is like. I DONT KNOW i feel like im explaining it POORLY its just so silly to me, its so fucking funny

grining right now. im not even tired weve been playing for hours and im not tired at all. love bothering her she deserves it. like would i lay down my life for her? yes absolutely. would i also insult her randomly while shes not doing anything? yes absolutely. i guess its cuz i know she can take it, thats why she does the same to me. idk its just how we're comfortable, we like it this way!!!! hhehehheehee

this is far too sappy to share with her but we love to hate eachother so i think im doin a pretty good job

[block-swing-perry]

ok watched mutant mayhem and here is my thoughts below bunch of spoilers read at your own risk:

overall review: animation was very good, plot was good, humor was very funny, i liked the ending which subverted all the worries i had about how they would get the bros attending school, a lot of the execution was lackluster and too awkward where it didnt make much sense but my friend told me those were all "seth roganisms" so ill take his word on that one

plot points/backstories i had beef with:

splinter being a rat first as his backstory is a choice i always am kinda eh about. they did have some very funny humor tied into splinter being a rat and did a good job coming up with sort of reasonable explanations as to why splinter coming from a background of being a rat would not like humans. however, i really think the boys martial arts skill have a much more meaningful tie if its something thats passed down to them from a human first splinter (or a combo rat/human mutant so you could keep some of the funny scenes they had in the movie) to give the boys more depth to their martial arts skill+heritage if that makes sense. it would have also made splinter a little less flat

ties along with splinter but while i really love the idea of superfly and some of the mutants being the kids of baxter stockman or products of his expirments, tmnt really shines when we have a variety of background so i think some of them should have been human first mutants instead of just mutants from the get-go.

april puking??? was just kinda overdone?? idk i dont find that humor appreciative. like it didnt really add anything to it. i just. dont like it. also ive seen a lot of hate towards april for this iteration and i just felt like they just provided the april haters ammo. theres a bazillion other things i would have done that would have had a similar effect, ive been on camera ive seen some stuff.

superfly and splinters backstories matching up like one to one. as my art teacher said, get rid of perfect symmetry. like it works for certain films, for this one i dont think it worked quite as well. for shorter pieces like this movie, i understand the tendency to make it all perfectly line up but like ehhhhhh with the movie having so much lack of depth it just felt like a wrong move. but i do like splinters oh shit is that what i sound like?

nitpicky stuff:

superfly saying "kill the humans" all the time. kinda killed the shock value. could have had him saying it all nice and then a big final "oh shit he finally said what he meant".

attack on titan references :/

there was a really odd moment where like april was ignoring the boys and i couldnt figure out why?? i think i might have missed something here idk

[fearowkenya]

its so hard being around my dad and his wife and my grandma for any extended amount of time. tldr theyre the type who keep fox news on in the background 24/7.

my stepmoms friend spent a few evenings here and at some point the topic of trans ppl came up and the moment i mentioned im non binary, my stepmoms friend was in my corner and being much more firm about correcting them than i can get away with (i cant be firm or i get accused of "being aggressive" or "not being understanding" that they're "from another time"). she did more advocating for me in a singular hour than my dad or my grandma have ever done for me at all while ive been in their presence since i first came out to them. (id like to believe that they advocate for me when i cant hear them but the odds are probably pretty low. but never zero, i guess.)

its such a weird thing to think about. i am completely confident that they love me unconditionally, but they're also the ONLY people left that have any importance in my life who just can't seem to get the damn pronouns right. i dont mean that they slip up constantly , i mean that they just dont even seem to bother. "this is my daughter" "my granddaughter is here visiting" "shes hoping to see an alligator" "can you send me that picture you took of her" like theres no pause, no attempt to even try to use they/them or non-gendered language, not as far as i can tell anyway. the most ive ever gotten was my grandma sending me a birthday card last year with the "granddaughter" printed inside scratched out and corrected to "grandchild". which was really nice!!! i genuinely did appreciate it!!! i told her that it meant a lot to me!! she is aware that i am aware & grateful that she made 1 (one) effort. but also she fully wrote "miss" in front of my name on the envelope of that same card. so its like ... i appreciate the thought but unfortunately that's not enough. you still gotta keep doing stuff like that, like, indefinitely. i thought that maybe it was a start, but other than my stepmoms friend ive been referred to exclusively as something im not since i got here.

honestly until my stepmoms friend stood up for me and corrected my family on my behalf id just completely given up. its so exhausting. and when she corrected them ofc the conversation turned to "its SO HARD for us to change our language" and it was a little validating to watch her get kind of annoyed at that reaction.

im tired.

i guess i can keep trying to say "they please" at every possible turn and see where that gets me. i wish i could spend time with this part of my family without being on pins and needles constantly.

[suntraitor]

You got me, curious about the inscryption x hadestown au, explode your ramblings and go insane sharing your thoughts GO GO GO

AWESOME OK OK OK. disclaimer like i saaid in the notes about that post idk if its even an interesting au or compelling story, we made it sleep deprived while someone was joking around with our p03 and leshy. its a dumb silly au and it makes no sense but its MY cringe baby 😤😤😤 so. its not a shipping au despite hadestown being . yk. but theere is some shipping for plot reasons.

Hades - Leshy (I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS. you can tell i put a lot of thought into his and P03's relationhip in this au) Persephone - P03 (the fucking themes. the fucking THEMES.) Hermes - Grimora / Magnificus, haven't decided yet, leaning more towards grimora but i really want all 4 scrybes included :[ Orpheus - Luke (i hate that tuber boy sometimes but god damn it he will carry my story :salute emoji:) Eurydice - Kaycee. duh. (note: kaycee and luke r not shipped together in this au, they just exist to cary the plot) the fates - one of the scrybes cohorts because i think itd be funny. probably leshy's just bc of the hades thing but i think it could work with another's.

ive rewritten this post like 8 times because i just ramble endlessly about my little cringe baby au (none of my aus are good its all serotonin factory here boss).

SO PLOTLINE. i only have a feew songs in my head but the jist i it takes place after the old_data situation and p03 is away from leshy for the spring and summer n thats where luke initially learns about kaycee and starts researching her death and junk. major plot points i have is luke playing against leshy and reluctantly being told more information about her death, and its revealed he has her death card. other plot points: p03 staying with leshy over the other half of the year and their Strained Marriage (tm).

this lyric is so them. they hate each other theyre deeply in love their marriage is failing but they stay together despite it all nd in the end they try again. i know i kissed you once before but i didnt do it right can i try again and again and again /lyric does tht explain it. theres so many themes

anyway. i dont have a lot of the plot fully fleshed out bc tbh it doesnt make sense and mking it work with both stories is taking me a minute. but i love all the dumb little plot points i have made.

ithe song how long is their dynamic FR FR FR FR.

im trying to figure out how to encorperate orpheus going to the underworld nd trying to leave with eurydice into the au but like i might need to tweek the plot a bit bc its alreaady not 1.1 wwith hadestown story but still. the reasaon p03 and leshy are more fleshed out is bc this whole au started with me comparing our leshy and p03 to hades and persephone X] im just a humble kaycee fictive i lov my blorbos my oingy boingys.... :] the characters ever. but like i gen dont like tht luke and kaycee r the only decent options for orpheus nd eurydice bc i dont want to make them romantic!!!!! i hate the tuber guy but also their dynamic could be so silly. my aromantic ass making the iconic greek myth couple PLATONIC FRIENDS. happy ending the boy doesnt get the girl X]

more lyrics with THEMES.

like do u get my image here. grips ur shoulders. do you see them.

i cant screenshot all the lyrics but GOD. any way the wind blows is kaycees song FR FR FR.... her main character moment. right b4 she dies X]

some feverish shouting from me at like 5am last night

the au makes no sense but tht is ok... its my cringe bby and it makes me happy. thank u anon for asking me about it i loved being able to explode ill rb this with more info later