#but they decided to specifically do a self sacrifice kinda thing this time

[legendary-alliance-stance]

okay but sometimes I think a lot about the urn of saint viktor skill

how it’s basically a Self Sacrifice skill to heal others

and I can’t stop thinking about what that implies about viktor

[dreamerdagn]

also before too much more time goes by I want to unpack some of my spiderverse feelings. vvvvv all spoilers vvvvv

~~~~~~~~~spoiler warning in case the readmore doesn’t load~~~~~~~~~

~~~~my thoughts on spiderverse 2 pls don’t read if you don’t wanna ~~~~

so I’m not sure exactly how I feel about if a tbc was an appropriate ending, but either way I kind of respect them for like, trying it.

Like, movies, esp franchise movies like oh idk superhero movies, often have sequel hooks. But they also try to be self-contained movies. 

This isn’t a “try to force the audience to come back” kind of sequel hook. This is a “this is a two-parter, we always envisioned it that way, the two movies are complete and separately they are not and that’s how it is.” I’m not explaining it well but in any event I find it way more respectable.

in terms of visuals, last time they were praised for how each frame was beautiful and they rocked the industry by releasing a successful movie with non-realistic models and textures.

this time when deciding how to push the envelope they went hard on like...non-diagetic visuals I guess? Like characters do remark on how like for example Vulture looks like he’s made of paper so that’s actually diegetic, but what about like, the colors changing and melting during Gwen’s scenes with her father? I’d need to watch it again to get more examples but it’s like...everyone watching can see something weird’s happening with the visuals, and the artists trust are trusting the audience to recognize that it’s not literal.

and pretty much none of that was like, too much or not necessary or something.

and on TOP of that the story and characters are still great. All the new characters are good. Even tho the story isn’t complete it’s still 100% coherent.

and I watched a vid that pointed out one of the themes that they’re setting up seems to be “does it have to be our pain that defines us” and I feel like that’s what Miles is being set up to challenge and like. yes. good. I mean both in the story and irl bad things are going to happen to people, but specifically Miles is challenging the antagonist’s belief that he suffered because he tried to be happy, and you have to resign yourself to certain sacrifices. Again, bad things are going to happen, but you can keep striving for the ideal, and when those efforts pay off, it’s worth it, even if it’s not every time. At least I think that’s what they’re going for. The “I can do both!” thing seems to be setting up the “no you can’t and trying will only make neither work out / make something worse happen” vs the attitude of “I’ll solve the problems in front of me and if that triggers another problem, I’ll solve that too.” (I’m not implying the antagonist like, didn’t try hard enough to solve his original tragedy, heavens no, he didn’t know that would happen and it was just tragic, but that after that he resigned himself to the “this means sacrifices must always be made” mindset.)

oh and even more spoilery things...

I kinda thought it sounded like a Prowler-like sting was playing when Miguel was on screen, and Miles has some line like “are you sure you’re Spiderman??” when Miguel breaks out his very Prowler-like claws...so with the reveal at the end of the movie I think that’s definitely going to be somehow part of Miguel’s backstory. We honestly didn’t see much of his backstory, it was a very quick setup of what his damage was and not much else. We know he universe-hopped and we don’t know almost anything about what his life was like in his original universe.

also defo think he’s going to have a redemption arc, they went hard on making him scary and I think that’s because they wanted a suitably dramatic fight, and it worked. not sure what’ll happen to Spot, he seems to have gone full “inhuman monster,” but the harder the redemption the more I like it if they pull it off

oh and also the “you’re the original anomaly” was a huge emotional gut-punch for Miles but as for me I was like “HECK YEAH” because it’s supposed to position him as a problem, but it just means that problem has to be solved and he’s going to solve it.

I know we’ve had a bunch of multiverse movies lately, it being a concept that’s been talked about a lot in other media but generally not movies, but I think this one solidly earns its place for its use of them. The Spiderverse series and EEAaO can stay.

[tiredassmage]

17,20, and 30 from the creator asks :)

Thank you, friend! <3

17. What are some tropes and dynamics found in your wips?

Specifically in my wips, hmmmm.... Well, I do have to say I think I've revealed my weakness for the mentor-type relationships and while I don't think I have anything actively in the pile that chases that dynamic, I expect it won't be going anywhere any time soon - both in that I definitely want to explore more of Tyr and the mentor figures in his life and his potential for sharing that experience forward.

Currently, I'd say the biggest one is the developing ride-or-die Savosta has built up with Rhystyl. I have a snippet of a piece started that's meant to retell their time in carbonite as a shared sort of hellscape dream-land (the base idea being that, even if Savsota's head is where Valkorian decides to kick his feet up, both of them are experienced with Vitiate's influence, so it'll still affect and connect them both) and I'm hopeful that I'll be able to finish that one off sometime because it lets Savosta shine in a role Rhyst has traditionally taken for him thus far: the calm in the storm, the support when everything else is going wrong.

Fun fact: while I was writing sacrifice, part of my hold up was trying to determine if there was something other than friendship developing between them. The opportunity for it was absolutely there and I couldn't ignore it, but it just didn't feel right and I did sort of hesitate to leap on the possibility because I didn't want to overplay something. Ultimately, I found Savosta like me: somewhere on the ace spectrum! It was most important to me (and Savosta) to build a friendship - that's not something he's properly had in a really long time. KOTXX really seals their friendship as inseparable and there's absolutely love there. They're best friends who go through a lot together and I, ironically, haven't written a lot of characters that share marginally in the experience of asexuality with me, so it's kind of an exciting thing to have discovered and decided. I wanted that friendship and that journey of healing, self-discovery, and self-love to remain focal in Savosta's story and friendships can be just as vital to that. It makes the most sense for him and for the kind of story I hope to see him through, I think.

20. What story are you proudest of? Why?

Not to reuse, but partially sacrifice, for actually finishing that idea from start to posting. Version history of that on Google Docs tells me I spent about a month and a half with it and I'm incredibly pleased with how it turned out. Savosta finally getting one of those moments to really connect and... I guess not necessarily feel positively, given the stress of the situation, but to go through a moment with him where he engages his emotions in a way that accepts them and acknowledges what him and Rhyst have both been through is really gratifying. He started as this character that was mostly motivated by the achievement hunt for DS5, to be honest, and then I... grew attached. And I genuinely decided "I want to see him succeed and I want to see him heal." So, it's... kinda heartwarming to have that go full-circle, at least in my head. There's a lot of other stops along the way in him and Rhyst's story I still want to tell and explore, so, hopefully, I'll be able to continue to create and share those in the new year. <3

Also, greedily picking another, imbalance was such a fun exercise, so honestly thank you for enabling that, lol! I'm proud of this one because of how thoroughly it shows of Tyr's more Cipher side. I've explored a lot of his sort of struggle and his connections, I think (and I hope its at least sort of showed, lol), but I hadn't really showed how Tyr worked as Cipher Nine. imbalance shows where he's willing to cross lines, where some of his willingness to compromise himself and ideals crops up when he's on a job. Yes, it's been incredibly important to me to show his very small inner circle, the very few people with whom he tries and tries (and fails, sometimes) to be an at least more honest version of himself - more honest to himself about everything he's been through, but to really feel the ease of the shift he makes when he works is so fulfilling. I feel like it added some much-needed weight to my musings about his inner workings and how he feels being a Cipher. He is, in fact, rather good at his work - if not in the most traditional sense. (I'm still reeling from Watcher Seven going for the fucking throat intentionally or not after... everything that happened, okay? Yeah, maybe he is mentally unstable and you're not helping!!!!)

30. How are you doing? <3

Okay, I know I got all sappy on my New Year's post unexpectedly, but WWWWWW. Really. Really. I just want to say that our friendship was a highlight of the last few months of '22 and I'm just. <3 I treasure it. And you're a joy to see in my notifications. Keysmashing, etc etc

aH. Okay. Uhm. Otherwise, I have survived my first week back to classes for spring semester and I am! Hopeful and kind of excited again. I was a bit nervous given how stressful last semester was (generally a poor semester for me as far as time management, etc), but my classes so far seem cool and interesting - I'm doing primarily just elective credits to satisfy eventual hour requirements for graduation this semester with the idea of hopefully being kinder to myself than last semester's schedule, so I think it'll be nice. I'm excited to be back with the campus group I joined last semester.

Overall, pretty good. I'm looking forward to it and I think it'll be a really valuable and informative semester!

[ojbensonsrevenge]

CHESS

This is the second draft of this little corner of my life I kinda wanted to share. The first one felt a bit too personal , it included my dad who I’m very fond of so I kinda scrapped it out and share this .

“I am convinced, the way one plays chess always reflects the player's personality. If something defines his character, then it will also define his way of playing." - Vladimir Kramnik.

I started playing Chess when I was 11 years old and still do (22 years) , the origin started off with me playing checkers with mates in primary school , continued playing with my dad and he decided to start teaching me Chess. I think from that point on in my life I’ve always been really good at it , struggled in certain competitions but I enjoyed the nerves it brings . I can go in detail about accolades achieved from it but they don’t matter much to me now because in hindsight I just really loved the sport . I just have to mention since we talking about hindsight , I think the reason I’m quite good and confident in my ability to play Chess is the countless times I was beaten by my dad at the sport , some loses cut deep I think I was losing to him for months to go even years . It shocks me to mention this however I only became good because I could handle hundreds of games lost . It kinda consumes you because you can see if you made one specific move you could have won so you play again.

I think I’ve found something that completely takes my mind off things , I really leave reality and sense of self behind , a game can race my emotions so much that I forget where or who I am . I can play angry I can play sad but I leave it all on the board . It holds a special place in my heart and I think it’s also a coping mechanism of some sort if I try to psych myself lol , I guess you can control your own moves compared to a big chess board called life(not getting into it) .

I tagged that quote in the beginning to encompass this part of my life , as I’m older one thing I’m not beginning to understand about Chess is the sacrifices you make or are forced to make . In recent years of playing I’m the kind of player that doesn’t want to make sacrifices. If I could I would win the game with all my pieces on the board , sacrifices aren’t even that hard because you could sacrifice a piece and win the game . lol getting a bit sentimental here but lately the sacrifice feels like such a huge loss that I sort of runaway from when playing even when it could put it in a better place to win a match . Going back to the quote I wonder what it really reflects of my personality.

I’d hate to magnify a chess board and it’s pieces and draw comparisons to real life but I sometimes can’t help it lol , I think of people as Knights ,Bishops and Rooks , it’s shallow to say but sometimes even Pawns . I keep wondering if I’ll ever have a Queen ready to fight on my behalf , I guess I would have to be a King.

Well that concludes my current sentiments with on the things I think I dearly love , I’d leave it like that but I recently watched a game played Mr Einstein and he says :

"Chess grips its exponent, shackling the mind and brain so that the inner freedom and independence of even the strongest character cannot remain unaffected."

[johnandrasjaqobis]

👪🍩🌺⚾👖🚆🌈💓 for Viccy G and and the Hound (Jack)

DEEP BREATH

👪 FAMILY - what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?

Vic is very close to his family. Parents still alive and well and genuinely lovely people, two younger siblings who are off doing things that make him ridiculously proud, aunts and uncles and cousins in the city, like. the boy's got Family. He's very aware how lucky he is for it.

Jack hasn't spoken to his family in multiple years, but not because of any real animosity. His parents did as well as any couple can when their son is born completely blind and starts explaining that there's a monster that talks to him by the time he's like, three. I think he's got a younger sister he was pretty close to, but it's definitely preferable to keep his family out of...y'know. All This. He wants to go back to visit some day. He just doesn't know where to start explaining.

🍩 DONUT - favourite sweet treat?

Vic doesn't have much of a sweet tooth in general, so tbh his favorite kind of defaults to whatever it is Dolly has made most recently just because it's a friend that made it.

Jack likes hard candy. Helps him focus.

🌺 HIBISCUS - do they have any allergies?

APPARENTLY vic's allergic to something, I think we as players decided it was like, legumes of some kind, but he's not even sure still, he hasn't exactly been back to that specific place in Pride's Call.

I feel like Jack would be allergic to latex. Which doesn't really apply here.

⚾ BASEBALL - can they play sports? what is their best position if they play a team sport? what's their strong suit (speed, power etc.)?

Vic would be pretty good at rugby I think. Good combination of constant movement and the occasional very hard hits. He can be fast sometimes, and also has that 18str to make sure he Keeps Moving.

Jack is. Not a sporty guy. He likes fishing.

👖 JEANS - what is their go-to outfit?

If he doesn't need armor, for Vic any kind of comfortable pants and a light shirt, with his coat either as a full coat or sans the sleeves depending on what the weather's like.

Jack defaults to fantasy business casual. He likes button-up shirts either with a vest or suspenders, something close to slacks, and nothing ever matches unless Ainori gives him a hand with it

🚆 TRAIN - what is their answer to the trolley problem?

Vic would sacrifice the one for the many only if the one was himself. Otherwise he would refuse to play along. (Otherwise it's definitely sacrificing many for the one, i mean come on, he's a self-appointed bodyguard)

Jack is absolutely the many for the one route. Not that he has much choice in the matter, but he'll look after the few he can.

🌈 RAINBOW - what advice would they give to their younger self?

vic: oh my god you are the most unobservant dumbass -- yes he is your partner yes he is your best friend you are also absolutely in love with him kiss the stupid wizard

jack's is. darker than i expected the more i think about it, but putting that one aside, he'd probably advise not to bother with the bloodhunter guild. Hell of a lot of good that whole process did.

💓 BEATING HEART - what gets their heart racing?

Other than the obvious for both of them with. combat. etc.

Extended awkward social situations for Vic, he is overly aware of his tendency to start rambling and when he notices it gets worse and just devolves from there. Also watching powerful mages do magic.

Jack...kinda obvious still, but anytime he's gotta deal with Gruumsh. It's been literally his entire life but it's hard to get completely used to that.

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Whomst Rambles, KinnPorsche edition: A Bittersweet Farewell in Episode 10

I haven’t uploaded my KinnPorsche memes in two weeks due to reasons but can I just say that the turnaround on Big has been *chefs kiss* and I wanted to give him a send off to show my appreciation for this incredibly clever and painful redemption plot twist.

So. Was he an asshole sometimes? Yep, most of the people on this show kinda are since it’s, you know, the mafia. But the thing is—and it’s something this show does well—we only have snippets of Big, incomplete knowledge. It’s impossible to put him on a pedestal or trash him, no matter how you slice it, and we the audience only experience the change of heart at the same pace as Porsche does, which makes it all the more shocking. The show and the actor successfully set Big up for the audience to initially judge and dislike him, just as Porsche does, to be such a flat character that we can project blame onto, as someone who did in fact do some shitty stuff in the short time/moments we encountered him, absolutely fulfilling our expectations of him for much of the time. But his character is complicated at the eleventh hour by the nature of his sudden death, which indirectly changes everything and speaks to the show’s deeper messages.

As a bodyguard, Big is undoubtedly accustomed to making split-second decisions—but the major choices we see him make, the two times he decides to put his life on the line, are both informed by something no mafia enemy would have been able to anticipate: devoted love, unrequited but powerful. In his last scene, he dies to save Porsche. And importantly, it’s not because he thinks it’s the best thing to do morally or strategically but because it’s the best thing to do for Kinn. For the man he loves.

I tip my cap to KinnPorsche—because in the time Porsche (and the audience) knows Big, he’s not actually nice, he’s suspicious and jealous of Porsche, and he can be a total ass sometimes, but in his last moments we also see that at his core, he’s just a guy who’s in love with someone he knows doesn’t love him back, who is guided by love to do something that is good and noble.

Porsche is as surprised as we are, and in his response we see this confused grief, because maybe this guy would never have been his friend, maybe the two of them would never have gotten along, but maybe this guy was, despite or in addition to all of that, a better man than he thought, and in one very specific regard they are exactly alike. Porsche is the only person in the world who can fully appreciate Big’s desire to protect Kinn’s heart (pls let him not just fully forget about this).

That is the tragedy of Big’s character—imagine the shock of recognizing your own feelings and instincts in the same guy who beat the shit out of you, and realizing at the same time that you will never know or understand more about him beyond this. It’s the lost potential, the important conversations that will never happen, a young man dying bravely at the hands of people who killed him during the breakdown of some stupid, spiteful, senseless scheme against Kinn. It’s almost poetic that in his last moments, Big faces off against Tawan, because the sacrifice he makes for love is something Tawan wouldn’t be able to anticipate or understand. Neither of them are Kinn’s true love, but one of their fundamental differences is that Big acts out of love while Tawan acts out of hate. And this show was already a love story, but thanks to this we see other different forms love can take, as something that has the potential to be bitter, pained, warped, destroyed, or—here—something noble and selfless.

Amid all of the chaos, this show is about trust, communication, and learning to see people for who they really are, and in a period of a few seconds, Porsche and the audience finally see past Big’s mistrust of Porsche and all their arguments to Big’s best, truest self. It’s a strange irony that he is such a sidelined character who incidentally is at the center of KinnPorsche: the reason Porsche meets Kinn is because Big sacrifices himself to give Kinn the chance to get away and run down that alley, and his very last act is to do his best to save his boss’s boyfriend, preserving the couple’s future. For whatever else he did in his life, we know that at two key moments where other characters showed duplicity and hate, he chose love and devotion, and changed the narrative fundamentally. Pour one out for Big.

[sickadelia]

hi im now throwing my pessimistic city dweller hat into the adult eds ring. please excuse the shitty drawing, i havent been able to draw The Boys well since i was 12. 

lore that i wrote 10 months ago while i had the stomach flu under the cut!

I can’t really see them in a tiny town or a huge city, so I was thinking that they end up somewhere in the middle, something that’s a city but isn’t too overpopulated- maybe like 600k to 1m people. 

Ed People often seem to struggle with a career for Ed, and deservedly so, because he’s kind of an enigma. A common career choice for him is being a self-made popular comic artist or someone who works in horror movies, but I don’t think he would last very long in any creative industry, because he would probably have trouble changing his ideas to accommodate others. Sure, he takes directions from Eddy pretty easily, but once the task has emotional significance to him, he kinda shuts down and digs his heels in. To be successful in these kinds of industries, you need to work really hard to show that you’re willing to change your ideas and take criticism for the greater good of the project. So because of that, I don’t think he would have that much success in that field. Therefore, I present to you: freelance artist/record store Ed!

I’m a record collector, and I feel like that scene is very Ed. It’s all about falling down deep rabbit holes and discovering bizarre artifacts that may have otherwise been lost to time, and Ed is the kind of person I can see absolutely loving researching random things and then infodumping to anyone who will listen. So, I decided he should be the “mascot” of a record store in the hipster-y part of town: people go there specifically to hear his recommendations and learn from his infinite knowledge. This is also the only thing keeping him employed, since I can otherwise see him being confused as to what to do, like skipping out on sweeping or sorting through records. He just sits at the till and blabs, which does make the business more appealing, however he’s otherwise no use to the owner.

As for the freelance artist part, I can imagine him trying to self-publish a comic or gain a cult following online. Though, as I mentioned, he is probably unwilling to sacrifice his vision for others, making the comic basically unintelligible. He’s a good artist, sure, but his comics are impossible to follow and are filled with inconsistencies, plot holes, etc… it’s style without substance. The only successful work he’s gotten doing art specifically is posters for Eddy’s band, which I’ll get into later.

Edd Oh, Edd. He always gets the long end of the stick in terms of careers, either in STEM or as a university professor (I’ve noticed that his actual careers are always pretty vague… he’s just “a scientist”). However, while I do think science and inventing will remain one of his most prominent hobbies, I wanted to delve more into the obscure territory and make him a journalist. Though his apparent interest in journalism is only present in one episode, “Truth or Ed”, I honestly think it is a pretty fitting career for him; he has a flair for the dramatics, is very passionate about vocabulary and language, and usually takes the moral high ground and stays very committed to his standings in any situation. So I thought it would be cool if he was an opinion journalist for some dying academic dinosaur paper, which has made an unsuccessful jump to online news and now mostly reports the lowest hanging fruit, like celebrity pregnancies. Edd was probably a fan of the paper during the glory days, and though he is absolutely flattered by the opportunity to work for them, he’s stuck writing articles about meaningless drivel rather than topics of any real worth, which probably messes with his deep life philosophies or whatever.

Another trait that often gets ignored is Edd’s pretentiousness, biting sarcasm, and assholeish tendencies. He’s probably THAT kind of hipster journalist who wears oversized trench coats, owns a typewriter but never uses it, sits in cafes and stares wistfully out the window waiting for some attractive person to compliment him or recognize him, and will completely cut you off if you have an opinion that conflicts with his own, no matter how pressing they actually are. While I don’t think romance would be of any particular interest to him, I think he’d still go on several dates in an attempt to gain approval and acceptance from others, and blame them when he acts like a total jerk. 

Eddy I have never seen someone do adult eds without struggling to come up with a career for Eddy. Used car salesman or telemarketer is a common choice, which are funny and fitting, but they don't have very much depth to them. And besides, those are jobs he’d actually be good at, and most of the show’s humour comes from Eddy failing to get what he wants. I don’t think he would be an interesting character to follow if he was satisfied with his life. So like Ed, he has his aspiring career that he’s bad at and a job he hates that he’s good at: so he’s a line cook AND a metal head. 

I’ve worked in restaurants for a long time, and every single line cook I’ve met has been screwed up in some way. They either terrorize everyone for their own amusement or selectively pick who they’re nice to, and usually end up being very awkward and making every situation uncomfortable. Eddy is probably the restaurant’s top line guy, so close to being the kitchen manager, but no one can stand him enough to totally put him in charge. Throughout the show we see that eddy has an interest in cooking and baking, such as making pizza, and I definitely think he could capitalize on that for a career. But as good as he is at his job, he’s an absolute terror to work with and controls and manipulates situations to give himself power that he may not otherwise have. For example, I can see him kinda screwing around new employees or the dishwasher, and the new guy is too terrified to stand up to him (this is me projecting LOL)

Now, for the metal head portion. Eddy is probably super pretentious about music, however he fakes being into certain bands to look cool and impressive. He claims his favourite band is Tool, but if you asked him to name more than five of their songs, he’d get stuck pretty quick. He fronts his own metal band called The Hunks (the original name was “Eddy and the Hunks”... that didn’t last very long), where he sings and plays the guitar, both very poorly. However, the other guys can’t survive without him, since he brought them all together, writes all the songs, books the gigs, etc… so despite him being the only thing holding them back from success, they’re practically useless without him.

[shkspr]

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

[dimonds456]

*sees your tags about being salty about suf spinel*

YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT AND NOT SHARE YOUR SALT /LH

Okay, but I'm warning you, you asked for it.

LONG POST WARNING.

LIKE A REALLY, REALLY LONG POST WARNING.

Dimonds456 Presents: How They Did My Baby Dirty: An SUTM and SUF Analysis on Steven and Spinel (Told by a Progressively More and More Angry Narrator)

THE CONTEXT: There was a post talking about how you think a character will fix everything, but then they wind up making it works. My tags were "#*looks at suf spinel* #I am still salty about that like the bitch I am fghdjskgfa"

Grab some water, guys.

Let's start by talking about Steven for a moment. In the original show, when we were following him as a 12-14-year-old, we watched as he built up trauma and then learned how to hide it expertly well, to the point that most of the audience didn't even realize he was struggling.

You can actually pinpoint the seconds he makes those decisions, too. The best example is in "The Test," when he's storming up to the gems. He's pissed. His fists are clenched, he's got that anime eye shadow overlay on his face, he's frowning, all that. the Crystal Gems are clapping for him and lying to his face, and he KNOWS they are because he overheard them talking about how it was "impossible for him to fail" that test (- Garnet).

And yet... he also overheard them saying that they're just trying their best. They don't know what he needs. They never really have. No one is sure. So, Steven realizes that by picking a fight, he would just be making it worse for them because they would know they messed up, and nothing gets solved, and everyone gets more depressed and Amethyst and Pearl go back to fighting each other and- well, you get the picture. He doesn't have a full understanding of what's going on, so his kid brain went "so I can either be angry at them and cause problems, or I can tell them I did a good job to make them happy."

"I can lie to make them happy."

He storms down there angry, still mulling this decision over. He drops to the floor, frowning and pissed, and says "I can't believe you guys." He is so close to yelling at them, and yet, when he looks up at them...

"That was so... INSANE!"

You never would have been able to tell. It was right there. That moment. And then he never stops. For the ENTIRE REST of the series, he NEVER STOPS. He puts the Crystal Gems above himself every time. Think Rose's Scabbard, The Message, The Return/Jailbreak. The Cluster. Peridot. Dealing with Jasper. The zoo arc (ESPECIALLY the zoo arc). Aquamarine. Then pretty much the entirety of Season 5.

(NOTE: I went back and rewatched that scene for the screenshot. There is a blink-and-you'll-miss-it lip tremble in there too! D,: )

He lives for the people around him, and not for himself. Almost never for himself.

Put a pin in that.

Now, let's look at his maturity. People thought that was just him being mature, right? That he grew up. No. That was not it at all. He was learning from his own behaviors as well as the people around him, and building up this idea that he had to "fight to be everything that everyone wants [him] to be when [he's] grown" (- Steven, the extended intro).

Yes, he matured, but not because of that. He started making various decisions to benefit the group that oftentimes he wasn't fully comfortable with, but something he believed would be better for everyone.

Put a pin in that.

Then, later in Future, we see it all manifest. He is selfless to a fault, to the point that he can't think of himself in a positive light in the sense that he's good. We see it a couple of times, but especially in "Prickly Pair," when he vents to Cactus Steven about everything that happened. He feels useless, which is taking a toll on his mental health.

"Why do I need to be needed?" He needs to be needed because that's everything he was as a kid. His entire IDENTITY rests on his ability to help other people, no matter what happens to him. He literally sacrificed himself for them countless times (the big one of course being the Aquamarine incident), and now as a teenager, his whole sense of self is wrapped up in this need to get up and do something to make the world better.

And when he can't make the world better, his world falls apart.

Put a pin in that.

Now, let's talk about Spinel, the moment we've all been waiting for.

Spinel, as a gem, was made specifically to be a friend. That is her niche, and her purpose. Her reason for existing. At first, she and Pink Diamond got along very well, as shown in the flashbacks right before Drift Away plays (I headcanon she has illusion powers and was literally projecting her trauma, but that's a completely different post).

She and Pink vibed together for who knows how long, until one day, Pink started to not like being around Spinel anymore, finding her annoying and childish. We don't know what really caused the switch, just that it did happen (but of course, I have headcanons for that, too). Spinel never realized until it was FAR too late.

Steven actually describes his younger self as annoying at one point during the Diamond Days arc, when he decides to throw the ball, so I'm legally allowed to make this comparison.

Steven and Spinel were the SAME. They were both young and dumb, and something that at least a few people found annoying. People put up with their BS though, since they cared about them. But, while Steven realized this and matured because of it (or bottled up his emotions, to each their own), Spinel never did. She never matured. She was never given a chance.

In the movie, we saw her as a child, and watched as she played with Pink and never tried to be or do anything else, to the point that Pink Diamond thought to realize she might be struggling (and maybe Spinel didn't, either!).

She lives for the people around him, and not for herself. Almost never for herself.

And when she can't be friends with this one person, her world falls apart.

Sound familiar? It should. I literally pulled from things I said earlier lol.

Spinel and Steven are mirror reflections of each other. Reset!Spinel is 14-year-old Steven, completely devoting her entire self to one idea. Steven's was helping others no matter what, Spinel's was serving Pink no matter what. Spinel is like a combination of 14 and 12-year-old Steven in this sense, honestly. Goofy, without a care in the world, except one thing: the people around her. She would do anything for Pink, just as Steven would do anything for his family.

Now, Pink Diamond left Spinel. We all know this story. She left Spins there in the garden for 6,000 years because she grew more mature and started a rebellion, effectively forgetting about this one gem she kinda stopped caring about standing there.

Personally, I don't think Pink had any malicious or even intentional intent in that, but this ain't about her. This is about how Spinel continued to sacrifice herself for Pink, even when Pink didn't need her to anymore. She wanted to please Pink 24/7, all day every day, to the point she self-sacrificed and stood perfectly still for her for millenia.

Now, back to Steven. The gems don't need him anymore in Future, right? They've all grown up and matured and headed off towards their own futures, effectively stranding him alone in terms of self-identity and self-worth. But he stays there, ready to assist at the drop of a hat, or- in Future's case- the call of a phone.

Episode 6 anyone? The one everyone says shouldn't be in Future? That it should have been cut to allow more focus on Steven himself? The fusion episode? YEAH. THAT. He is running himself RAGGED to try and help others, to give himself a purpose. He is self-sacrificing. (He's a professional, don't worry. /j)

Steven metaphorically planted his feet down and decided that he was going to devote himself to the people around him.

Spinel's feet were literally tied down soon after she made that very same decision.

Okay, enough with the backstory. Time for the salt.

In Future, Steven is at his lowest low. He is running to the Diamonds for help, to see if there is SOMETHING they can do to help him. And we first see Spinel.

Spinel has been through the ringer on a lot of the same mental problems Steven himself is facing. She self-isolated, watched as everyone grew up and left her, and then began to lash out because of it. She understands what he's going through. We even see her concerned as Steven starts to tell her why he's there.

Spinel takes him from Diamond to Diamond, until he's running out of White's room in a blind panic. Spinel is able to catch up with him, and Steven realizes the same. SHE GETS IT. He turns around and says "Hey, you used to have vengeful thoughts!"

Spinel replies "Ohhhhh yeah, but I don't have 'em anymore."

"How did you make them stop?"

She then goes on to sing Change to him, effectively cutting that conversation short.

On paper, that sounds very in-character for her. She's goofy! And that is what worked for her! But the problem is that they had to dumb her down in order to make that character decision work. In the movie, she was shown to be observant and able to put two and two together, even if she often jumps to conclusions (see her being the one to figure out that the gems needed to remember their "pieces," as she remembers the Garden, her re-realizing what Pink did, and her meltdown later when she reactivates the injector).

Spinel is smart. It should have been in character for her to realize that Steven was panicking just as she had been, and needed to be talked to gently. But no. Instead, she starts belting out Change, which given Steven's situation, would not work for him.

At the very least, she would have started doing little tricks or started trying to get him to join a game, which would have taken his mind off of it (to her anyways, that wouldn't have worked either), which then could have prompted further discussion.

Then, once they finally start talking, Spinel could have been able to share some legitimate advise. She was hurt and lashed out. What worked for her was opening up to others and letting them in, learning to trust again (which Steven also has problems with- he can't trust that the Gems won't break down the second he turns his back. Trust does NOT equal love, there is no doubt he loves them to no end), and allowing other people in.

That is what Steven needed, too. He needed to let his guard down and just talk to someone. Sure, Spinel was not going to be a fix-all, but she could have at least offered some insight on what to do.

She UNDERSTANDS him. They are a reflection of each other.

But instead of offering help, Spinel made it worse. She was dumbed down to allow the rest of Future to happen, to make Steven feel even worse. Because- and here's the kicker- because the one person who MIGHT understand him doesn't, that means there's no hope for him.

At least, that's how he sees it. And so, the denial- and "Everything's Fine"- begins.

Here's the thing, though; they DIDN'T NEED to make that decision. If the Crew wanted to have Spinel not understand Steven, then draw the line of her being a Gem from Era 1, used to the Diamonds shattering people.

Steven has killed Jasper and revived her at this point, so maybe Spinel offers that at least he's trying to get better, just like the other Diamonds! See, they're doing so great now! And then that makes him feel worse since he IS trying to do better, but is only failing, while the Diamonds- who were MADE to be nasty dictators- are doing better than him.

The Diamonds shattered a lot of people, and they're doing better than Steven, who has only shattered one person, and not even on purpose. How horrible is that?

Then boom. THERE'S your angst, with a much smarter, more helpful Spinel.

Look, I knew going in that Spinel wasn't going to be able to help. The finale had to happen somehow, and we hadn't seen Wormy Boi yet. I have always been a storng believer of the corrupted Steven theory, so I knew it was bound to happen. But I was hoping that Spinel would at least try. But she really didn't. She just brushed him off, offering really loose advise that didn't even fit his situation and thinking that would be enough.

No. It's not.

I can see where the Crew was coming from. I still love that episode, and I love seeing Spins in it (until that exact moment). This is probably the only thing in SU that genuinely gets me mad. Or, well, maybe not mad, but definitely annoyed and- you guessed it- salty.

I have an unfinished fic where I kinda delve into Spinel's head for that episode called "A New Start". If you really want my thoughts on where Spinel's head was at, there's a bit in there that really explains it. In the fic, Steven decides to rejuvenate himself and brings Spinel along with him, and that's all the context you need for this.

I cannot explain that moment in the climax of the episode, though. Maybe she thought it would make him feel better, or that maybe he really did just need to open his eyes and see the error of his ways (which doesn't make sense, he KNOWS what he did). Maybe she thought that being silly would help somehow.

But you'd think she'd learn from her time with Pink as she grew more annoyed with her, but apparently not. Or maybe she would realize for a second that being loud and annoying was bad. Or maybe she doesn't learn.

Either way, it- and she- was dumb. And they did my baby dirty.

*drops mic and walks away*

[bigskydreaming]

I have decided to make a correction to one of my most oft-repeated stances.

Its not actually ‘both of them being equally at fault’ that bugs me so much about Bruce and Dick’s periods of estrangement.

Its the idea that both of them are being stubborn and need to swallow their pride and get over themselves.

THAT, specifically, is the bigger issue IMO.

Because uh....no. That is 100% what you can’t put them on equal footing in regards to, because when Bruce is the one who instigated conflicts with HIS choices that directly impact DICK’S life....Bruce stretching out the conflict by being stubbon takes the form of Bruce refuses to apologize, consider that he was wrong, or walk back anything he said or did.

Dick stretching out the conflict by being stubborn, on the other hand, is an ENTIRELY different issue, because his only ‘stubborn’ position is refusing to passively accept Bruce’s mandates. He has nothing to apologize for, nothing he CAN even apologize for, other than just.....not ‘settling’ for what Bruce wants him to do in any given situation, not simply rolling over without complaint.

These examples of ‘stubbornness’ exist at ENTIRELY opposite points of the spectrum, and so to pair them as being equivalent is not only grossly disingenuous, its just....gross?

Because essentially, with this people are just saying that Bruce needs to not be so proud, sure, but also that Dick needs to have no pride whatsoever, because that’s what you get when you continually insist that the guy who continually gets railroaded by his father’s control freak issues has some kind of obligation to just say oh I’m okay with that really, and its not that big of a deal, even when it IS very much a big deal.....just for the sake of keeping the peace.

You are effectively prioritizing Bruce’s pride as MORE important and worthy, even while nominally saying oh both are too proud and stubborn, because by virtue of the fact that Bruce’s pride is the cause of so many of their periods of estrangement and Dick’s pride is actually the victim in all these instances given how often he ends up caving and coming back to Bruce to be the one to extend the first olive branch DESPITE Bruce being the instigator.....

This one hundred percent keeps Bruce’s emotional needs prioritized as more important and deserving than his son’s.

And that really sucks. Not even just on its own merits, but also as a precedent, because the fact that it so often happens this way ANYWAY in canon, with this statement STILL getting uttered all the time, about how they’re both too stubborn and prideful.....effectively this just keeps pushing the needle further and further in the direction of Dick being expected to cave sooner and even more easily in each conflict, whether canon or fanfic-originating....because people point to the fact that he DOES cave and from that they kinda build an expectation of inevitability, that its always going to be Dick who caves anyway, so the fact that he doesn’t do it right away, and thus allows conflict to last between he and Bruce at ALL, like.....THAT gets reconfigured to make him ‘to blame’ for any lasting state of conflict between he and Bruce because like, Dick should know better than to expect his dad to apologize or take something back, and thus he should just get over it right away, y’know?

And meanwhile, the expectation builds in the other direction with Bruce, with precedent for how their conflicts so often end (thanks to Dick being the one to cave) heightening the idea that Bruce is just never going to be the one to apologize, work for forgiveness, or take something back or change his mind, so there’s no point in expecting him to do any of the above, or even like....posit what that would even look like.

Because see now its just ‘in character’ for Bruce to never be the one to apologize or sacrifice his pride while its equally in character for Dick to be the one who both views himself and is viewed by others as being the one who is always SUPPOSED to cave, roll over, just let things happen and forgive Bruce anyway, all so that peace can be restored and maintained between the two of them.

And THAT’S how you end up with this everpresent idea that they’re both just EQUALLY stubborn and prideful, with BOTH their pride being responsible for their conflicts.....

Even when their pride is in direct opposition to each other and one’s pride is in defense of his own self-dignity while the other’s pride is at the EXPENSE of the other’s self-dignity.

And that’s like. Really fucked up IMO.

[tittytania]

Finding ChristBorg: A TED talk about what happened during the Coldharbour Compact.

Reposted from my tes reddit bc I want to see what y’all think.

I can't tell if I'm a genius, completely insane, or if I'm just late to the lore-party. Time to find out I guess. TL;DR at the bottom.

So it has never been explained what Sotha Sil did during the Coldharbour Compact to convince the daedric princes to not manifest on Nirn without an intermediary, and it probably never will be since the mystery of it all is far too cool. But that doesn't mean I can't read into it like literature and look for meaning in the other texts I can compare it to.

To start, Vivec is based off of the Shakta variation of the half female/half male Ardhanarishvara, where the gold-skinned female half is the right side. Both Vivec and Ardhanarishvara represent unity and duality, and looking at some images of Ardhanarishvara, it's kinda hard to argue that Vivec wasn't based off of them. Kirkbride even confirmed that Ardhanarishvara was the inspiration for Vivec in an AMA. Now, Vivec is part of the god trio the Almsivi Tribunal, along with Almalexia and Sotha Sil. Shiva, who Ardhanarishvara is the avatar of, is also part of a god trio, called the Trimurti in Hinduism. So it would make sense if the other members of the tribunal are also based off of one member of a real world religious triad. I have a shaky idea of who Almalexia could be, but my theory for her god-inspiration is nowhere near as solid as my theory for Sotha Sil, who I believe is based on Jesus Christ.

To start, their characterizations have multiple similarities. Both are one branch of a god-triad, with Sotha Sil as part of the Tribunal, and Jesus as The Son in the Holy Trinity. Both serve as a teacher, with Jesus being referred to as Teacher several times in the Bible, and Sotha Sil giving lessons on magic and Mysticism to the Psijic Monks. Also, both are characterized as wise, patient, and celibate. They both talk about moral and philosophical concepts with their followers, neither Jesus nor Sotha Sil are shown as having a temper or raising their voices, and neither of them are shown with a spouse or partner. Sotha Sil is specifically shown as not caring about the Night Mother's attempts to sexually manipulate him in book seven of 2920, The Last Year of the First Era. Now I know that 2920 is considered a work of historical fiction in-universe, but I don't think that matters in this situation since I'm approaching this as a person reading a text, not as a person living inside the lore world.

In terms of specific scenes that connect Sotha Sil and Jesus, the first I will mention is that they both use a makeshift whip to beat intruding wrongdoers and drive them away, while yelling about fathers. In the Truth in Sequence vol. 8 book, it says that "[t]hrough His will alone, Mighty Seht wound the veins (of metal ore) into god-bronze whips, and lashed the Prince pitilessly," saying "[b]ehold the wrath of lost Ald Sotha! Know death at my hands, false-son of a false-father!" In the Bible, Jesus found people doing sales in a place of worship, and then He "made a whip of cords, (and) He drove them all out of the temple," saying “Take these things away! Do not make My Father’s house a house of merchandise!” (John 2 15-16).

Also, Jesus had close friends and followers who were called his apostles, and Sotha Sil has his own Clockwork Apostles. Sil's apostles reside in the Clockwork Basilica, and while basilica isn't an exclusively Christian term, it is frequently used to describe a type of church architecture, and is a term the pope uses to recognize distinguished churches.

Another similarity that I found was in the plot of Morrowind, where Sotha Sil's death was caused at the hands of Almalexia, who was someone he had once loved and trusted, much like with Jesus and Judas.

The most notable life similarity as it relates to the Coldharbour Compact is that both leave the earthly world in order to make a deal for the benefit of the souls on earth, and then return to the earthly world. This parallel is given extra weight with the descriptions of the scene in the book 2920, The Last Year of the First Era. Sotha Sil returns from Coldharbour by way of someone "rolling aside the great boulder that blocked the entrance to the Dreaming Cavern. This sounds a lot like the scene in the bible of the discovery that Jesus had risen from the dead, where "an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door" (Matthew 28:2). In addition, Jesus said "after He is killed, He will rise [on] the third day," (Matthew 17:23) and after Sotha Sil returned from Coldharbour, he "felt he had been away for months, years, but only a few days had transpired." Perhaps it had been 3?

In addition to the life and behavior similarities, there are similarities in dress. In the 2920 book, Sotha Sil is always described as wearing a white robe or cloak. In ESO, Sotha Sil is shown as barefoot, and wearing a blue sash over his long white robe. In medieval and renaissance art, Jesus is most always depicted as barefoot, and is frequently shown with a blue cloth over his shoulder. In most resurrection art, as well as in almost all 20th/21st century art, Jesus is depicted as dressed in white. While Jesus usually isn't usually shown wearing both the blue sash and the white robe at once like Sotha Sil is, I found one modern interpretation of Jesus that does dress him this way, and several depictions of him in Chinese art that also portray him like this.

I'm feeling almost conspiratorial here, but these similarities are far too many for me to think it's accidental, and therefore I have to think that all of this is meant to suggest that Sotha Sil serves a Christ-figure role in his story, i.e. in sacrificing own life like Jesus did in order to make his deal in the Coldharbour Compact. However I don't think Sil's sacrifice was quite so simple. After he is asked what he offered the Daedra in return for the deal, he states: "The deals we make with Daedra... [s]hould not be discussed with the innocent." This implies that in contrast to the Christ mythos, Sil's sacrifice was not blameless; he did not come out of the deal with his hands clean.

So, a Christ-like sacrifice that isn't quite as pure and selfless as it is in Christianity. What could that be?

My theory is that in order to make the Coldharbour Compact, he sold the lives of Vivec and Almalexia along with his own. Perhaps he told the princes that he knew the tribunal's godhood would end, and in exchange for their cooperation he promised not to tell the other tribunes or make any attempt to prevent his and his companions' demise. (After all, as far as I know he made the mechanical heart for keeping his city functional, not for recreating the divinity the heart of Lorkhan provided.) Or, maybe he offered to do something to assist in bringing the Tribunal down, and losing Sunder and Keening, the tools that helped them maintain their divinity, was intentional on his part. Sil deliberately sacrificing his own life appears to be reflected in Azura's statement after his death. She said "he shed his mortality long ago, and I am certain his death was no small relief to him." Of course she'd know that he let go of his life ages ago if he had willingly sold it to her. Of course she would be certain that he found his death to be a relief, if she'd heard him say so himself when he was explaining why a god would ever offer such a deal.

It would also make sense with Sotha Sil's character, since he allegedly loved the people on Nirn more than Almalexia or Vivec did, and the destruction of Gilverdale could have definitely been a traumatic enough reminder of the destruction of Ald Sotha for him to do something dramatic to prevent it ever happening again. And guilt over sacrificing his friends could have definitely been a contributing factor to the worsening self-isolation and intense depression in his later life. It would also be a definite explanation for why he apparently never met another soul in the 10 years between losing the tools and his death. Not only had he become extremely disillusioned with the imperfections of the world, he had now finalized the deal he made so long ago, and saw no point in continuing to interact with a deeply flawed world he was essentially finished with.

However, I do see some issues with this and how it would work in-universe. Namely the fact that Hermaeus Mora's seekers said the prince received something from every individual on Nirn as part of the deal, which is quite different from what I'm suggesting. A different deal for each prince would also explain why Sil was able to include Clavicus Vile and Mephala in the compact at a much later date. There would be no reason for Vile and Mephala to submit to a collective deal whose terms had already been decided. So if he offered the tribunal's lives as part of the deal, he would have needed to offer other things as well. But for me the most significant in-universe issue I struggled with was that using his death as a bargaining tool would create a massive problem for his ability to enforce the deal in the future. This could explain why both Molag Bal and Mehrunes Dagon manifested on Nirn after Sotha Sil's death, but since I think they were summoned by qualified mortals that could have been a loophole. Either way, making a deal that is meant to last forever by promising something that can never be taken back in the case of a breach of contract seems extremely short-sighted for someone who claims to be cursed with certainty. Especially considering how many of the princes there were known to be cheats and liars.

Unless, that is, you believe this theory I read about the reason why Sil was completely silent as he was killed. My original belief was that he was silent because he'd seen it coming long ago, and knew that nothing he could have said would have changed Almalexia's mind. And while that would be in character for him, now I'm starting to think that it was because he had already uploaded his consciousness elsewhere. This would fit in with the Christ-figure parallels, due to the Christian belief that Jesus is risen from the dead and very much alive. While Jesus returned to life at the same time he emerged from the cave, the completion of Sotha Sil's death sacrifice didn't happen until long after his return via the cave. While I have found no explicit evidence that he's still around, when you find his body in Morrowind he is shown hanging, with his arms outstretched at his sides, in a sort of crucifixion pose. And after the crucifixion comes the resurrection. Perhaps Sotha Sil is still around somewhere in the gears of his city, and he promised the princes he'd never be present or have any influence on Nirn so long as they kept up their end of the deal. Additionally, the 37th sermon of Vivec mentions Sotha Sil as holding "his swollen belly," carrying "[his] daughter." While Vivec's sermons are hardly ever literal, Kirkbride's comments suggest that maybe Vivec was being somewhat literal in this instance. Regarding this concept art, Kirkbride said "note the cosmic baby growing inside Sotha Sil. While Sotha Sil is dead as we saw in the add-on pack “Tribunal”, the child survived." Perhaps one of Sotha Sil's many body modifications made him able to carry and birth a child, and then he created a daughter through self-cloning or some other method that allows him to have enough influence to enforce the compact.

TL;DR - Sotha Sil has a lot of similarities with Jesus, so he's a Christ figure and therefore his sacrifice in the Coldharbour Compact was himself, and Almalexia and Vivec too, and that also means that he may still be around.

Anyways, thanks for reading and sorry if this sounds like I'm putting red strings on a wall as my application essay to the r/SothaSimps fan club. Also, lmk if I'm missing anything obvious. For me right now Reading Lore On The Bedroom Floor is a bit more manageable than playing the games, and there may be something I've just completely looked over.

[biggaybunny]

Hoshiguma, Che'en, Tomimi, Gavial, Kal'tsit, W, Carnelian, Absinthe, Asbestos, Exusiai, Siege, the Nearls, Eunectes, Saria, Mudrock

Alright here we goes *breaks fingers*

Hoshiguma: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

She's big and strong, gentle and well-spoken, loyal and introspective. She's an incredible character and an incredible woman and a woman in leather makes me weak.

Ch'en: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

She's edgy, but I love a woman who can kill me a thousand different ways. Points taken off for her having way too much of a hard-on for self-sacrifice and lone wolfing it, but she's still very pretty and rocks the office casual look (yknow, not counting the hotpants).

Tomimi: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

TAILSLUT HOT

Gavial: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

She flew under my radar for the longest time but honestly she's gorgeous, she's unreasonably strong, she's got a hot tail and sharp teeth, and she looks fate in the eye and then punches it in the teeth. What more could you ask for in a woman?

Kal'tsit: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

You know what I love? A woman who absolutely hates me. I also love an ethically dubious milf. Points taken off for not understanding how amnesia works, and more points taken off for acting like she's got a moral high ground while she machinates and lies to us. Points added back on for probably being some kind of timeless abomination masquerading as a catmilf.

W: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

She's wicked, she's a genius, she understands how amnesia works, and she's basically a demon lady. I like her attitude and her smile. Points taken off for shopping at hot topic despite being like, thirty-three. How did she even find anything in her size?

Carnelian: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

GOD I love the sexy scientist look. The giant horns. That absurd thigh of straps. In terms of per physical looks she's a 10/10. I know nothing about her personality, but her gaze is smoldering. Given most characters are getting points off for their personalities, maybe that's the reason she gets top rating =:V.

Absinthe: Absinthe is my daughter what is she doing on this list all of you staring at her chest are going to get sent to your own personal Brazil Chernobog.

Asbestos: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

She practically deserves her own tier, I almost went back and moved everyone else down a tier once I reached her. She's so fucking sexy. She's a bastard. Like, people think "bastard" is a gendered term, but she isn't a bitch. She's a bastard, and I mean that affectionately. She's antisocial. She's fit. She's lanky. She modified a door into a shield instead of modifying a shield into a shield. She has oripathy and was too chad to be affected by this. She doesn't know how to talk to people. She's the most lesbian lizard on the planet. She's a stud and I want her to walk over me with her size 13 combat boots.

Exulsai: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

Moderately-unhinged tomboy angel is cute, I bet she gives good hugs. She's too high energy for me but I recognize a cutie when I see one.

Siege: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

She comes off kinda young for me. I dunno. I just also don't really go for the whole "princess in exile" thing. Like she's just giving off "look how regal I still am even now" vibes. Like, okay blueblood, we get it, you had a posture coach. The fact that specific individuals are capable of being good people and good leaders does not justify monarchy as a system of government.

Maria Nearl: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

I like that she's got a passion for mechanics and she is, genuinely, very pretty and a very good girlfriend for Platinum, but her naivety and need to follow in her sis's footsteps don't really endear her to me.

Whishlash: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

She's clever and ambitious and takes care of her family, and I really appreciate her owning her sexuality like she does (read: slutting it up good) but at the end of the day, she's still a horse.

Margaret Nearl: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

Margaret Nearl's dick is bigger than yours. Think of the biggest dick you've ever seen. Margaret Nearl's dick is bigger than that. One time the sun decided to shine so Nearl went "hey sun how big is your dick again?" and the sun cut that shit OUT. The only reason Reunion still exists is because Margaret Nearl has to spend at least sixteen hours a day fucking her two wives, and a knight like her knows the importance of getting eight hours of sleep. Points taken off for still being a horse, but added back on for being Margaret "Fucks Your Wife" Nearl.

Eunectes: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

GOD that tail. That tail drives me to poetry. AND she's an engineer. Her passion for knowledge and for her work is so sexy. And she prefers to be mostly-naked for no good reason. Short, brown hair on nerdy girls is my weakness too, and she counts as a nerd even if she CAN kick my ass by thinking about it >///>

Saria: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

Insanely powerful women are hot. Insanely powerful women who choose to be protectors even if they have to keep their destructive potential under control to do so are even hotter. Plus there's just something about the sternness in her gaze that makes me want to say "yes ma'am". Her horns are hot too.

Mudrock: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

Have you noticed a trend with me yet? Have you figured it out yet? WOMAN BIG. WOMAN PROTEC. Most importantly, WOMAN HAVE HORN. She's also gentle and creative and (in every good fan interpretation anyway) built like a brick factory.

[serene-victory-77]

I was thinking about Kaz Brekker, as one does, and realized something interesting about him. (tl;dr at the bottom cuz I rambled a bit)

So, this is about that “crows remember human faces” conversation between Kaz and Inej (book version, not show version).

The negative part we know to be true: Kaz holds grudges, in those terms he’s absolutely a crow. Boy hunted down every single person involved with Pekka Rollins’ con.

But what kindnesses is he talking about? 

It’s a pointed statement that he believes applies to himself, and because it’s with Inej, it likely applies to her too. 

But the problem is that he’s clearly thought that for a while, and there’s no kindness in the books that I think applies. It seems to be about the past (I mean, it’s about remembering, too).

When people help Kaz in the books, it’s usually:

- From already long-established feelings, so not based in “just because” but “I’m invested in this person” (Inej and Jesper)

- Just not being cruel and hurting him on purpose (all the Crows) which is like, basic minimum

- Sacrifice, which is too messy to count and not something Kaz acts kindly about anyway (Jesper, mainly), and more forced than not

- Practicality, or keeping him alive because they can’t afford to let him die, plus some odd attachment (Matthias and Nina) (Also Inej’s “I can help you” was done entirely out of self-interest, thus it doesn’t count)

Essentially, there is no spontaneous act of kindness. It’s all established from past actions or based of necessity, and Kaz’s line seems to reference the past rather than the actual events of the books. There’s no point in which the characters just... are kind to him for no other reason. 

(Well, that I can remember. Hit me up with “unselfish kindnesses that has nothing to do with anything” if you can for them. If it’s because they care for him, it’s definitely kindness but not an inciting incident so I don’t think it counts”)

But that means there must be a basis, for example, for the reasons he watches out for Inej and Jesper to some degree. Some kindness they did for him that makes him remember their faces of makes them his “favorites” that isn’t in the books.

But what is it? I don’t think it’s Inej’s companionship, because that only started since Inej knew no one else and kinda just tagged along with him. That’s not a kindness, even if Kaz eventually gets used to it and likes it.

Most people don’t pry at Kaz anymore, so I don’t think he thinks her not pulling his secrets out of him is a kindness, because no one else does either. It just makes her bearable to be around. And looking over him during heists is literally her job that she gets paid for, not kindness, even if she doesn’t mind doing it.

And he doesn’t test any of the others the way he does Inej (and Jesper) with letting her see the R tattoo or his bare hands. It’s an established action, but what was the inciting incident to trusting her specifically? What made him decide to risk showing her, almost rewarding her, with that vulnerability?

Their flashbacks and backstories seem to be almost entirely “They just met, Inej is learning” and “Kaz is falling in love” and there’s no in-between, and I guess I just want to believe that there was a period in which Kaz just liked Inej (platonically) because somehow she was kind. 

Her praying and ethics and morals don’t really apply to him, either, so I don’t think that would convince him of her kindness. Plenty of people in Ketterdam pray or refuse to kill themselves. Her being “good” in general terms doesn’t mean anything to him.

But the kindness bit in his explanation is so purposeful to me, that it feels like there must have been some point in with Inej was just easily doing nice things for Kaz not from necessity, not because she felt she should, not because she knew she’d hurt him otherwise, but because she just was kind to the Bastard of the Barrel and that stuck with him.

Maybe I’m looking for something where there is nothing and over-complicating things, but I just sincerely want there to be a moment after the “you’re dangerous” from the beginning, and before the “drunk on her laugh” from later on, in which Kaz is like, “She’s different, she’s kind” and it sticks with him. And it has to be kind at him.

(*cough* clearly he’s not good at paying it forward until later, regardless of how he says that he, as a crow, remembers kindness *cough* calling her an investment *cough* being kinda mean, but hey he gets better *cough*)

And he turns down help and betterment a lot, but it’s usually tied to expectations and his need to get through stuff himself, but if it’s literally no-strings-attached actions, how would he react? The same standoffish way?

tl;dr Kaz says crows remember the faces of people who are kind, but in the books there’s really no time for casual kindness, so was there a point in their past in which Inej did something for him that he still remembers that was “kind,” for literally no reason other than she was, and if so, what was it?

[neverdoingmuch]

now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)

wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”

but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere

they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop

when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff

anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?

and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica

he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book

when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake

he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does

like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?

pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.

nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch

wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you

wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin

so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn

wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!! 

and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)

so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)

wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??

he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.

he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week

wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica. 

he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)

also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible

by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something 

he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing

cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made

(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)

wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot

cue lan wangji

lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it. 

while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing

lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot

he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do

as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he’s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic. 

he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot

anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time 

i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out

they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body. 

when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university

lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow

they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on

and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is. 

wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??

anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills

anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!

lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.

regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot! 

lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??

he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long

after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books

and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time

[anonymouslyangsty]

Idea: Escape Room AU. Making a loose interpretation of that one horror movie. Some of the Danganronpa characters are invited to play in an escape room, but find that if they don't solve the puzzles in time the consequences are deadly. Not only that, but each of the rooms are deliberately designed to invoke past traumas of each of the characters. My main motivation? High stress Ishimondo.

YES. 100% yes. You don't know how much I crave action/adventure Ishimondo. Yes domestic fluff is sweet, yes the death game can be intense. But there's something special about people having to actively fight for their lives together, and solving murders just doesn't hit the same.

So yeah I like the idea, it almost gives me YTTD vibes (for those who don't know, Your Turn To Die is like DR but you win puzzles or die. I love it)

(If you're interested, there's a fic that kinda fits this idea. It's Beyond Despair. It's basically "everyone who dies comes back and now they have to do puzzles to survive. I'll try not to take too much inspiration from it for this concept)

But yeah I love this idea. I think things like this do best with smaller groups, so here's an idea: Leon, Hiro, Chihiro, Mondo, and Taka go to an Escape Room over the summer for Mondo's birthday. Then surprise! It's all death trap filled.

Just trying to think of potential rooms on the spot...I warn you that I've only gone heavily into the backstories of Taka and Mondo when it comes to DR1, so I might be missing out on some good ideas.

Hiro has to make a bunch of predictions to stop the others from getting harmed, perhaps a form of Russian Roulette. If he predicts where the bullet is incorrectly, he ends up shooting someone. He's probably not aiming for anything vital just in case, but it would still suck.

Not sure how this relates to trauma. Maybe he messed up an important prediction, and that led to someone getting seriously hurt?

Chihiro's great issue is weakness, which he tries to overcome. So maybe his room is having to hack something with a timer, where failing to do so in time leads to everyone burning alive. It would test his mental fortitude.

Or we could go the physical strength path. Like a situation where the solution is in an area so small that only Chi can enter, but something inside has to be forcefully pulled open. So Chi has to find the strength to do it, either by outsmarting the trap, or pure strength.

Or maybe it's both? Chi has to show both mental and physical strength to pass the trial.

Mondo has his own issues with strength, not to mention his guilt for the whole Daiya thing. Maybe he gets put into a situation where he alone can solve the puzzle, but cannot act. Instead, he has to tell the others what to do.

Think something like the game Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes. The basic premise of that game is: there are two players, one with a manual, and another with a bomb. The player with the manual has to instruct the other player on how to defuse the bomb. The player with the bomb cannot see the manual.

And that would be pretty stressful for Mondo. He isn't confident in his intelligence, so having to solve the puzzle alone would already be a problem. Plus there's the fear that he'll fail his friends, that he'll mess up and get them all killed.

For Leon...I'll admit that I don't have a solid idea for him. He wants to leave baseball and become a musician, right? So I'm not really sure how to infuse that desire into his room.

Plus I don't want to make his room just "hit this target to escape" because he can probably do that really easily...But it still needs to be involved with his talent in some way.

Here's an idea. It's not ideal because I'm not sure how well it fits into his character, but at least it includes his talent in a way that won't be horribly easy for him.

The group has to play a game of baseball, Leon vs everyone else (sure the teams are uneven, but Leon's the best baseball player around, so it's fair).

The game has to end with 12 home runs (why 12? there's a dumb reason.). For each point the enemy team gets, the other team is punished somehow. Each punishment is worse than the last.

Leon is a way better player than all of them combined, so it's not about him winning. It's about him deciding who gets hurt. Does he save himself, or save the others? It's a game of selfishness vs selflessness. Not to mention a delicate balance of ensuring nobody's too hurt to keep going.

As for the punishments, we could add another layer of selfish vs selfless actions. Maybe the losing team has to decide among themselves who takes the punishment, or they can all agree to take a slightly less harmful version of it.

And Taka. I'm...not sure? His character is all about morality, but Leon's trial kind of has that covered. There's also his role as a leader, but Mondo's trial covers that. Whatever the case, I'm just going to throw out ideas.

First thought is to focus on Taka's passion and strong work ethic. Think of it as kinda the opposite of Mondo's proposed trial. Taka's placed on some kind of pedestal that leaves him about 8 inches from the ceiling. On top of the ceiling is some kind of button, just far enough away that he has to reach to touch it.

While he's up there, everyone has...some kind of puzzle to solve. I don't know what honestly, probably some moral dilemma or something to keep on theme.

Now here's the point of this trial. Around the beginning of the room, Taka's shot with like half a dose of sedative. Not enough to knock him out, but enough to make the process of reaching up to hold a button pretty hard. Whenever he isn't pressing the button, water starts filling the room. If he passes out, they all drown.

This trial places him in a position of power, as everyone is relying on him to stay strong despite the struggle he's facing. And it's the opposite of Mondo's trial because he has no agency. He can't really help solve the puzzle, all he can do is keep that button held. But it's also similar to Mondo's trial because, if he falters, everyone dies.

The downside to this option is that it has nothing to do with morality. Mondo could just as easily have this trial, since it's more about hard work and strength.

Another option is something that focuses far more on morality. I'm not sure of the details, but perhaps it's a situation where he has to decide who of his friends to hurt to help everyone escape. And he wants to find a solution that leaves everyone unharmed, but that very well might not be possible.

Or maybe something like the prisoner's dilemma? (In very basic terms, you have prisoners A and B. If A and B trust each other, they both escape. If one betrays the other, the one who betrayed escapes with some extra benefit. If both betray, both get nothing.)

In this hypothetical situation, perhaps this is the last trial, just long enough for little resentments within the group to build. For the stress of the situation to make friendship become overshadowed by self preservation. Can they really trust one another to do the right thing, or will they get betrayed?

This is more morality related, but it's also not specific to Taka. Taka doesn't play a lead role, they all do, since they all have to face the dilemma.

Final idea, and admittedly the least formed one. They’re in...some kind of puzzle, with a timer of course because we need the pressure to be one. In the room with them is someone none of them know, bound and gagged.

They can spend time trying to solve the puzzle the hard way, or they can do it the easy way. But the easy way means killing the captive (Maybe they have a key in their stomach or something). And you want to do the right thing, but there's a timer and the moral option takes so much longer.

Taka continues his role as moral compass for this trial. He has to be the one to declare if they go the easy option. If he choose it, he personality has to get the key. There's a knife provided for the task

It could feed on Taka's fears of corruption and morality. Is it better to sacrifice one to save the group? Is he being selfish for trying to save a stranger rather than his friends? Taka has a very black and white view on morality, and this trial would force him to shatter that.

It could also lead into a fear that he'll become just as corrupt as Toranosuke. After all, if he can't solve this trial without any deaths, how can he be a good man?

Honestly? While I called this one the least formed, I think I like it the most. It's a real moral dilemma.

[lesbiansforboromir]

I absolutely love your borodred thoughts, they are just *chefs kiss* so I have to ask how do you think Boromir and Theodred, who come off (to me at least) as very "expressing my true feeling??? In this economy???", get together? How do they start dating and get psuedo-married???

OH MAN ok so so- kajds FFF HANG ON hang on I’m actually... kinda writing this fic but I will never finish it so lemme try and summarise for you SO. 

Important things to keep in mind:  - Boromir and Theodred were friends as children, or rather they became friends after initially disliking each other because Theodred was foul mouthed and sharp tongued and Boromir was withdrawn and noble. Being so close in age, everyone agreed it would be a good thing for them to get to know each other as boys, since they would be interacting so much later on. This SEEMED to go badly initially, they quarrelled and tussled. But they both also... didn’t seem to want to NOT do those things. And eventually it became clear that Boromir really enjoyed having a friend he could be looser and more competitive around, whilst Theodred was quite eager for Boromir’s more quiet confidence that made him a calming presence. Everyone ALSO realised their arguments had turned to playing and they were thoroughly enjoying having a friend who was their absolute equal in social standing. Bullet points seem redundant now but I’m gonna continue with them.

- The pair actually found more than just a friend in this relationship, they got more confident and settled in their own positions too. Theodred’s manner allowed Boromir to feel more comfortable admitting when he was unsure or didn’t know things, where previously he’d considered that a weakness he couldn’t afford (due to his father’s image of never being wrong). Theodred on the other hand also felt more comfortable with the concept that Some Battles Aren’t Worth Fighting. He didn’t need to dignify every taunt with the validation of noticing it. Sometimes ignoring something is just as good as defying it. And much more! This all naturally turned into them discussing and comparing their experiences as princes and captains, which also naturally turned into them acknowledging struggles and frustrations surrounding those titles that they really never talked to anyone else about. (This isn’t entirely true, Grimbold and Theodred were very close and Boromir’s few tight friends he made and kept all know somewhat of these things, but they can’t quite understand it in the same way) The pertinent point to all this is they grew close and understood each other really well, you know those people it’s just SO easy to be around? Like you always thought you were speaking the same language as everyone else but then you find someone who ACTUALLY speaks your language and you feel perfectly understood suddenly? Yeah!

- God there’s so much to explain, this is gonna need a cut

- This development is also perfectly mirrored in their feelings about each other’s cultures. Boromir was initially fond but ignorant of Rohir ways, influenced by the Gondorian idea that they were all somewhat rugged and unsubtle. Theodred had the impression that Gondor was a very monodimensional country of just self-aggrandising scholars and dull melancholy. And then, just through sharing their interests with each other, spending time together as friends do, they’re really very much shown their misinterpretations. Theodred goes to see Boromir’s wrestling matches at times when he’s in Gondor. Boromir has a WAIL of a time watching Theodred flyting, they get into each other’s interests! Which is something that starts off unconscious, but eventually Boromir feels at home amongst the rohirrim because they are Theodred’s people. And Theodred reconnects with his Grandmother’s family still in Gondor because that’s his connection to Boromir- WE’RE GOING OFF MESSAGE BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT BACKGROUND.

- The basic point is they are both very very familiar with the other’s ‘no emotions in this ecomony’ manner and know all the ways the other avoids just such emotions whilst also being very privvy to the rare evidence that they do both, indeed, have emotions. They also RESPECT that need in the other, to be careful, it’s not pushy. Non-verbally they reach a point where emotions will be safe between them, they don’t get made too heavy, they don’t pry, Theodred just accepts that Boromir is exhausted from appearing like every victory was easy when they’re barely hanging on. Boromir just accepts that Theodred is furious and frustrated with all the scrutiny his character is under from every Thane when they have far more dire things to worry about. They both understand that they’re very very tired of grief, of losing people, of accepting that it was likely their fault, and then moving on immediately afterwards. And also OH OH ALSO!! Very important, they came to their understanding of this war they’re in together too. This sense of impending doom. I think, different from everything else, they admitted the fact that they did not believe they would live to see a new age only to each other. They always knew it, but they had the space to voice it all. Yes, it’s up to us, yes, we will likely fail, yes, we’re going to fight this fight anyway. OK SO THAT- SO JUST- KEEP ALL THAT IN MIND, that’s the foundation of where this all starts SO.

(WAIT ALSO- sorry fuck- also important.... pining. Boromir’s relationship to romantic thoughts is VERY different to Theodred’s, he has a much more like... positive idea of romantic love than Theodred does. Even if that’s not saying much. But the point is that means Boromir realised he was full on deeply ‘I hate when he walks out of a room because everything is more enjoyable when he’s around’ in love with him much earlier than Theodred did. Around 20. HOWEVER, Boromir also has a very ingrained cultural sense of ‘oh but the comradery of friendship is beautiful! I shall be content with this, Theodred deserves my respect so I won’t think of him sexually’ and he’s saying this after having had sexual relationships with men in the past AND THEN GOES ON to have romantic/sexual relationships with men during his pining which is kinda messing with him a little, especially because he ISN’T content- Boromir’s yearning and creating some cultural hurdles for himself later.

Theodred takes a while longer, in all things, he’s not content to accept that he’s exclusively attracted to men for a good long while. He gives relationships with women a go but he’s just having to try so hard for not much and it’s never sustainable. Not helped by my hc of Rohan having a kinda like... half ancient grecian concept of male homosexuality? Which is VERY muddled in with Gondorian sensibilities and creating a wild atmosphere of ‘men with men is just about sex and that’s ok, normal for soldiers sort of, something to tease about, but also don’t bottom and also don’t fall in love with a man, we all have a complex relationship to love in general as men, good luck navigating our impenetrable toxic masculine thicket’. SO Theodred accepts he’s pretty inescapably attracted to Boromir quite young. But when Theodred begins suspecting he has real serious feelings for Boromir it’s a much more frustrating discovery, he hasn’t DECIDED this is ok yet. But he still hates to see him go and prefers arguing with Boromir than drinking with anyone else and he can’t stop his mind drifting to him or missing him when he’s away. PINING, SEE? This ship has everything, anyway moving on)

((NO WAIT PPS, the fact of Boromir’s sexuality is a kind of unspoken thing between him and Theodred, everyone else chalks up his disinterest in women to Boromir being a good Gondorian but Theodred (quietly) knows better. The extent of their talking about it is in private moments when Theodred says something like ‘of course you won’t be doing that I suppose’ and it’s just a quiet chuckle and then moved on, neither of them want to tALK about it. But eventually Theodred can’t be bothered with the effort of pretence any longer. It’s not until later that Boromir notices changes in Theodred where he’s given up on trying for lovers, stopped pretending to laugh at all the jokes he hates and is acting differently around some riders that Boromir’s thoughts turn that way and he wonders. OH KAY. THERE.))

A lot… happens… between Boromir and Theodred before during and after Eomund’s death (so through their 23-24 yo years). What’s important to understand is that the ‘realising feelings’ part was not that difficult. They were very important friends for each other long before anything else. Boromir knew he was in love with Theodred early on, but Theodred realised he was loved back first. And there was about a year of time where they both silently, quietly, and with some sardonic bitterness, knew the other knew.

Because the issue they actually- ahsd damn fuck there is SO MUCH in this that you need to know, it’s tied to this sense they have of not being made for joy, they weren’t made to succeed, they were here to try, they are made to defy the undefiable and lose because no matter the end, their people and these living homes of theirs deserve to be fought for, it’s an understanding that silently connects them, that they both do accept and they find it deeply aggravating and exhausting for people to claim it is otherwise- it’s still all about love for them, it’s all true, they’re happy to do it, they would have chosen these roles if they could have but!! But that drives them into these personas and mindsets of self sacrifice and somewhat mmm young concepts of hopelessness and effort-

The point is that the difficult part was getting to the point of agreeing that this thing between them, that would be just for them, was worth pursuing, was possible and that such a thing was meant for them. Over the year and during Eomund’s death so much happens and there’s this undercurrent that specifically for Theodred is… a kind of slow angry grief, that he wants this but it would just be adding to their obstacles, that BOROMIR wants this- it’s hard for him.

BUT GETTING TO THE POINT, in midsummer of the following year Theodred comes to the festival at Minas Tirith at the Steward’s invitation (and Theoden’s encouragement, Eomer and Eowyn had to have his full attention and Theodred’s presence was as yet not a fully comfortable one for the two children) AND… Boromir had done this before, but Midsummer requires much more elaborate dress and Boromir had an outfit made for Theodred, in his colours, fitting him and his comfort, and he met him at Minas Tirith’s gates and they hadn’t seen each other a great deal since Eomund’s death and there’s a PAUSE to see each other that neither of them acknowledge and Boromir takes him up to Merethond and they get talking and Boromir shows him the garments he had made and Theodred tries them on and Boromir pulls on the waistband and collar to make sure it sits on him properly and Theodred has a look to him of withheld gutting frustration and-

And in that moment Boromir thinks to himself ‘I’m going to fix that’. Good decisions are easier to make when it’s for the both of them and there’s a right kind of defiance that he feels when he nears this decision, a galvanising excitement, and when Theodred asks him what he thinks to break the silence, Boromir tells him he is handsome in a tone he’s never used before.

Theodred turns to look at him and he can’t look at Boromir without being IN THEIR WORLD with him, in their language and the flow they have together and Boromir’s smiling at him, confident, so even if his smile’s still a little painful, he looks at Boromir in his own celebratory garb that he wears so confidently and tells him he’s handsome too. Which gives Boromir an expression that Theodred likes too much and that neither of them are turning away from, but Theodred’s still got a scowl in the silence before he breaks it.

“No longer ‘unspoken’ then.”

“It still is, in technicality.”

“I don’t see the difference.”

“Was it so different before?”

And Theodred can’t help the quirk of his lip and the hand he brings down onto Boromir’s chest that he doesn’t take back. “Glibness doesn’t suit you, be serious, we won’t walk away from this unscathed.”

“I am not intending too.”

And Theodred is caught by that, a small “Oh.” escapes him. Boromir waits but Theodred can’t get the words out he’s just… looking at him, trying to puzzle through Boromir’s mind. So Boromir takes in a breath and;

“I wanted to kiss you at the gates.”

He says with an ease born of relief, just to say it out loud, Theodred’s hand is still on his chest and his own covers it and holds it there.

“Am I allowed now?”

Theodred doesn’t quite reply before Boromir’s leans in. He’s not cautious, he tilts his head and pushes into Theodred’s space and his hand strokes up and over Theodred’s stubble like a man who’s been thinking about doing nothing else for a long long time. Theodred is still, partly on instinct and partly because he is too focused on seeking intent in Boromir’s eyes. But when Boromir pauses, their lips an inch apart, those instincts are gone. And all he can do is relax, mindless and focused, shaking his head in incremental disbelief as his hand on Boromir’s chest fists tighter into his coat.

“You- brave, reckless fool.” He barks in a release of nerves and laughter.

“Yes, finally,” Boromir says in an answering breathless laugh.

They meet in the middle. It is brief, awkward, they orientate, hands stuttering before finding strong, comfortable grips on one another, Theodred’s fingers find Boromir’s curls at long last, he’s been pining after them for too long to let go once they pull away for the first time.

The first rasped question that comes to mind is, “… Did you know… I would-?”

“No, not really.” Boromir answers.

“… Fuck.” Is really the only appropriate response.

“What do you think?” Is asked next.

And there is a great deal he should be thinking about, but all that’s filling his mind is Boromir’s voice saying ‘I wanted to kiss you at the gates’. And it might not be new and he might have thought it himself before, but it’s so meaningful for them both to admit a want. It’s so vulnerable. Theodred hears it with such love, he feels suddenly like he’s holding something precious and fragile, secret knowledge of a moment when Boromir wanted. He’s heard Boromir want before but those were different, this is just for them. And- god that really activates him in a vital and ferocious way, he wants to hear more, wants to want and admit it. It makes him feel positively ravenous for it, for more moments of Boromir wanting. So he says;

“That I’ve never wanted to think less. Not yet, come on-.”

This kiss is longer, exploratory, and something to easily get lost in. A relief. Eventually Boromir’s back is against a wall and both princes are dishevelled with wanting grasping hands. Theodred has to laugh, more confident, invigorated. This has tapped into his bitten, fierce determination, this dogged manner he has where if he’s grasped something then he’ll get it done. He suddenly has living, breathing energy.

“I feel so bloody young.” He grumbles, because he does. And he can’t remember the last time he felt this kind of nervous fluttering discovery.

“… We are young.” Boromir breathes eventually, between his near panting breaths.

That isn’t so funny, just too true, despite how false it feels. How it almost rankles them both to acknowledge, considering all they had seen and done and been. All the dead boys and men they’d shucked to become men that were needed. What on earth was young reckless action doing appearing to them now? And yet it’s also right because… their youth has always belonged to each other.

As a thought it sobers them enough to give everything space to breathe. BUT THAT’S ENOUGH!! Oh my god!! This isn’t even finished- fuck