#but they're still learning about emotions and stuff and are effectively like a child on that front

[anonymous-tals]

I was thinking about the scenes where Gob does something gay and Michael straight up doesn’t acknowledge it, as if nothing even happened, and as much as that says something about Gob and how frequently he must be doing gay things to make it so normalized and unremarkable, it also says something about how good Michael is at compartmentalizing; how good he’s had to get at it. He has no room for emotions. And while it may come off like he doesn’t have any, like he’s a robot, to put it in Gob-terms, it’s really that he just doesn’t have time for emotions. He’s basically- No, not even basically. He is in charge of taking care of his family and there is near constant stuff going wrong. He’s plugging leaks on a sinking ship; that’s his job and it has been since he was a child. He doesn’t have time to properly fix anything but *gasp* it would be selfish of him to ever think to build a new boat and abandon this one, how dare he! That’s what he was taught. He knows how awful his parents are, how exhausting it is having to constantly pick up after his siblings, but he’d be “selfish” for abandoning them and so he has to stay and help the boat stay afloat. And even though some holes are larger and more concerning than others, he’s been taught those ones are less important. And he’s probably also learned that those take a lot longer to effectively patch up so those are hastily dealt with before focusing on the other ones he can “more easily” attempt to quickly and effectively patch up, the ones seen as priority.

If it wasn’t clear, the larger, more concerning holes are the ones about emotions.

When your life is as chaotic as Michael’s, certain things will take precedent over others. Things that involve emotions can take time, especially in this family where the trauma they’d be unpacking runs wayyyy deep. AND unpacking those traumas, even just those of his siblings, would lead to Michael having to more deeply acknowledge that maybe he really should jump ship on this metaphorical boat. If he acknowledges that his siblings need more than sucking it up and getting a job, the curtain already thinly veiling his trauma would become practically see through and again, he doesn’t have time for emotions, he has a company to keep afloat, so that cannot happen.

Ah, his parents are just kinda jerky, ya know? They can just be kinda jerky sometimes, nothing more. Everyone has conflict with their parents sometimes. That’s just family stuff, ya know? Parents can be jerks and you just gotta deal with that sometimes…all the times…But they’re only a little jerky so it doesn’t- it doesn’t even really mean anything.

But his parents having him prioritize them and the company is what's making the boat sink because the larger, more concerning holes are just getting bigger and bigger and more impossible to just patch up but Michael just has to be like, "Dang, hole, uhhh, a bit dramatic of you to continue getting bigger and bigger and more impossible to just patch up, huh?" BUT THAT DOESN'T FIX HOLES. They're still there, gaping and splintered and ultimately, those holes will be what lead to their death; or at least, a faster death since that ship was doomed to sink, with or without the siblings on board. But it's hard to blame him cause what he's been taught to do! It's how he survives. It's how he stays sane. It's how he rationalizes it all. Even all the way in season five when the company is in shambles and I'm pretty sure the only two people working at the company are Adhir and Gob, Michael is still dedicated to keeping it afloat. The captain goes down with the ship but Michael's not going down in a noble or courageous sense. His parents have shoved him at the wheel, imposed dedication and taught a lack of self preservation or care or prioritization. This boat is trash but he can't let go, otherwise, his efforts have been for nothing and he'd be a failure. Of course, Stupid Michael couldn't save the ship. Does he even care about his family?

[squishosaur]

TWST X FNAF AU PLOT DUMP BEFORE I FORGET ALL MY IDEAS OKAY:

tw for canon typical fnaf stuff ✌️😐

mrs. rosehearts & dr. shroud (idia's mother) are a scientist working on regenrative medicine and a robotics engineer respectively. they meet at a conference for women in STEM and bond over their shared interest in furthering the medicinal field via robotics. they become partners in developing fully mobile, free-roaming animatronics that are able to detect human emotions and help people who are suffering (and whose parts should be able to replace any part of an actual human body).

to test these robots, they decide they should be able to work with kids (as they both have young children anyways, so they do have test subjects). they open a pizzeria where they can work on their project and see how they interact with humans.

at the same time, their kids, idia, ortho, and riddle, all catch glimpses of their work. idia and ortho fall in love with the robots as their mother explains her dream of helping people with them. in riddle's case, he sees the skeleton-esque exposed wires and horrific eyes that always seem to watch him from his mother's desk with no explanation to what they're for. he's afraid of them.

riddle learns to live in unquestioning fear. he obeys his mother and studies what she tells him to... completely neglecting and avoiding things she says he'd never understand. contrasting to this, idia grows to be an ambitious inventor in his own right, impressing his family and peers alike with his coding and inventing skills. ortho often asks him to build toys for him; idia obliges.

things are going relatively well for a while when tragedy strikes the pizzeria. one day, in an attempt to help him get over his fear of the robots, riddle's friend, che'nya, goes over to an animatronic that was in sleep mode and sticks his head in its mouth to prove it was safe. unfortunately, the sudden movement caused the animatronic to "wake" and accidentally kill him. (riddle goes on to describe this scene as being similar to the cheshire cat's head disappearing amd reappearing without its body in his journal).

after the incident, riddle holes himself up in his room and refuses to go to school, feeling guilty for what happened. mrs. rosehearts refuses to believe that her perfect son "doesn't function properly" AND that her life's work has to be put on hold due to a fault in the programming. she blames her partner and, in a fury, she drives to the (now closed down) pizzeria in an attempt to meet with her to give her a piece of her mind. blinded by rage, she speeds down the road and doesn't notice a child, trey, crossing the street. she hits him and, in a frenzy, takes and stuffs his body into an animatronic.

she realizes that the animatronic trey is inside moves on its own and decides that there IS a way to continue her research. via medical malpractice, she reaps the souls of 4 other kids and gets them to haunt other animatronics, effectively preserving their souls despite their bodies dying. (somewhere around here, riddle's parents split up because of how absorbed his mother gets into her work.)

mrs. rosehearts may have gotten her experiments back, but her son is still irreparably broken and she wants revenge on the shroud family, who she blames for the entire incident. she meets with them at their house under the guise of wanting to voice her concerns with the malfunctioning animatronics and how to fix them/the future of their company. while she's there, she meets idia and asks him about his inventions. he shows her his robots and how he coded them. while he is distracted, she edits the code and gets the robots to attack ortho and make it look like a malfunction. ortho is gravely injured and dies at the hospital (the one she works at. nothing suspicious there. dw about it 😐😐)

idia shuts himself away the same way riddle has. he makes prototypes in order to try and rebuild ortho. mrs. rosehearts anonymously reaches out and manipulates him into working for her to build robots in exchange for a way to "fix ortho." at the same time, she monitors riddle through his stuffed animals and keeps him inside with fearmongering.

with idia's help, she reestablishes the pizzeria and collects remnant in her lab. she hires a nightguard, ruggie, who notices something weird about the animatronics. he dips after a week, citing "you're doing some danny phantom shit to me" as the reason.

riddle moves out after turning 18. also transitions at some point because transfem riddle is real always. she finds ruggie as someone asking for a roommate online and they seem to click well enough. riddle asks ruggie about jobs and he offhandedly mentions that being a nightguard was the worst possible option. riddle is curious and ruggie explains the robots seemingly being programmed to kill. hearing this, riddle begins to think that che'nya's death wasn't an accident and she is determined to get a job to investigate. ruggie begs her not to, but ends up getting roped in too.

under the alias rosaria hart, riddle gets a job as a nightguard with ruggie. they explore the premises every night, but as they get closer to understanding the mystery, the building gets more dangerous and they see a new animatronic roaming around, unfazed by their deterrents, that wants them dead. at the same time, the puppet (ortho) mistakes riddle for her mother and keeps trying to kill her too. they manage to unmask the murderous animatronic as mrs. rosehearts herself and get her to confess to the murders of the children, which causes the animatronics to close in on her before the springlocks in her suit fail and she (nearly) dies. riddle and ruggie escape, but not before the animatronics try to rip ruggie's face off.

riddle then goes back to her childhood home to clear out her things and finds her mother's research open, talking about remnant and how she was harvesting it. shocked by this, riddle goes to her mother's lab to destroy it and set the souls free.

when she gets there, she begins hearing che'nya. his voice guides her safely through the rooms of the other animatronics until she gets to the scooping room. suddenly, his demeanor changes and he tells her that her mother is still alive and it isn't over yet.

riddle then gets scooped and stumbles back to ruggie and explains what happened. they decide together that they need to find a way to end it all. they go back to all of the previous locations and burn them down, saving the one where mrs. rosehearts is springlocked for last.

hearing that all of his inventions were being destroyed, idia rushes to the final location to salvage what he can. here, he finds mrs. rosehearts and she offers him a hard drive on which she has uploaded her digital consciousness so that she can get him to continue her research, promising that it will give him the final piece of information left save ortho. as he reaches out towards her, riddle bursts in through the doors and tells them that this has to stop. she explains to idia how it works and that he's been manipulated into helping kill children with his inventions. she also convinces him that the real ortho's soul deserved to finally be put to rest, not jammed into a robotic body. idia agrees and, together, they set the old building ablaze, ending the franchise forever, but not before the puppet tells idia goodbye.

afterwards, idia creates the first fully conscious, learning artificial assistant (who he does build in ortho's image), riddle and ruggie recieve actual medical care, the old buildings are torn down, and riddle's childhood home goes up for sale and is bought by an enthusiastic young realtor and entrepreneur, azul, who is all too intrigued by the research he finds when clearing it out...

[pagingdoctorbedlam]

Do u have any headcanons of ebenholz? Please i need even more content

(Ebenholz Headcanons)

Do I?! Absolutely! Here's some of what I've cooked up:

As I've written in at least one fic now, Ebenholz gets into rock music and this has a huge effect on him, from his fashion sense to his music. I like the idea of him learning to play guitar so he can say he's mastered an instrument under his own power (while continuing to spite the Witch King!)

I see a couple viable paths for Ebenholz's approach to music going forward. One is that, since he's gifted with so many instruments, I'd love to see him get into composing and conducting. On the other hand, pivoting hard into rock music but incorporating some orchestral stylings would be hella rad? Things like incorporating his flute into rock songs like Jethro Tull, or occasionally pulling Czerny for a piano accompaniment to a song (specifically along the lines of Blue Oyster Cult's Joan Crawford. Just listen to this and imagine.)

As he continues to open up, Ebenholz actually befriends quite a few operators. There's the book club gang, of course, and I also think he becomes a pal of Beeswax as they talk records and stuff during horn care sessions. Connected to the music headcanons above, Ebenholz being besties with Vigna is one of my faves. But also, I feel like his particular backstory lends well to him befriending fellow operators with prickly and traumatic backstories. Like Rosmontis. Let them be "child experiments put some literal fucked-up shit in my head" pals.

Once he comes out of his grief-stricken shell, Ebenholz is so damn excited to explore this world he's only ever dreamed of. He can be convinced to explore anywhere and try just about anything at least once. And with how sheltered he was in the Spire, there's a lot to catch up on! Between missions, music, and adventures with his growing circle of friends, he's always busy. (And is able to drag along friends with more hermit-like tendencies as well, to everyone's benefit. *coughCzernycough*)

One line Ebenholz does refuse to cross is alcohol and other intoxicants. Overhearing the noble's plans to turn him into a useless alcoholic has thoroughly shut down his desire to touch the stuff. Not knowing how the Witch King will affect him when he's under the influence is another factor.

Since he was a sheltered noble for so long, Ebenholz has been trying to educate himself but still makes the occasional insensitive comment. Old habits die hard, so he can still be a little defensive when called out, but...he's working on it.

My personal queer headcanon for Ebenholz is that he's gay and demisexual, but thinks he's ace because...well, he's never actually gotten close enough to anyone to build that emotional connection that leads to attraction. (I have a fic on this in the works right now, actually!)

I can also see Ebenholz experimenting with gender and presentation a bit. I'm not sure if he'd actually be nonbinary or just "cis but comfortable enough to present more femme/androgynous/etc when he feels like it", but I wouldn't be surprised to see him experiment once he learns about genders beyond the binary.

Goat boy has goat habits. He likes to climb random shit, and will do so without thinking if he needs to get away with a migraine. Folks have found him in the strangest places...

Also, because goat and because he's open to new experiences, Ebenholz will try to eat just about anything. Though you'll definitely get a snarky remark if he doesn't like it...(and no Hibiscus, this isn't an excuse to give him more health food, put the kale smoothie down...!)

On the subject of migraines, Ebenholz acquires some assistive tech and help with his migraines. Though they're mostly fueled by arts (and the Witch King), I can see him with some light-sensitive shades and learning other migraine management techniques to help some of the symptoms. Also maybe a camera or recorder to help handle his occasional hallucinations by recording something and playing it back to tell what's real?

Alright, that was...a lot of headcanons. I've had many thoughts about this boy. But I hope you enjoy this offering of Good Goat Boy content!

[hell0mega]

oh i think it's that tweet that just posted from my queue about having a system with socks. literally no mention of autism, instead the tweet uses "ND" and i have adhd... so it still applies...

listen, i never get actually upset at mean anons because 99% of the time they're idiots, like that one, but often what they say perplexes me. because those 99% are so up their ass in secretly wanting to be a bad person and make others feel bad because they feel bad about their own lives, that they misread everything and make conclusions on other people (or, as I've seen a lot of, literally just straight up lie and make shit up)

but still, USUALLY everything they say comes from SOMETHING, so i went back and saw that my queue posted a tweet about being ND. that person, who I'm gonna keep saying is not autistic and just uses shit they learn in order to "call people out" about stuff, saw me relate to a tweet and incorrectly concluded that i am an ignorant child (I'm almost 30) that gets all my info from tiktok (which i don't and never have had) instead of someone who has an autistic sister, a most likely autistic father, and most of my close friends being autistic. i know I'm not autistic because I'm exposed to it daily. we're still on the fence about my bf lmao

ALSO I'm going to guess you're not autistic because i am very aware that within the autistic community, it is widely accepted to self diagnose as long as you do your research, take the tests, interact with the community, and any advice makes your life easier. it's expensive to get diagnosed and can leave you being labeled as officially disabled, making it harder for you to live your life as a normal person, make the money, have the jobs, and marry the people you want.

so no, i will never be upset about people telling me to kill myself over *checks notes* people assuming i have a tiktok... or anything. I've been on the internet since i was 11, just short of 20 years. I've never personally sent anon hate, not only just because I'm a good person who shows others compassion, not only because i don't think subjecting others to pain alleviates mine in any way, but also because... I've never understood how it effects anyone. obviously one message isn't a harassment campaign and that's a whole different story, but over the years, and still all the time, i see people get upset over one message. like dude... that's just done 14 year old that's failing algebra 2. you're an adult, it's fine

anyway. maybe that person is checking back on my blog to see if i responded. maybe they're just going through and copy+pasting the same kys message to everyone that reblogs that tweet, which is actually making me laugh to think about because they incorrectly assumed the tweet was talking about autism when it clearly says ND several times. just being an absolute clown on dozens of people's pages until they see a response like mine and go "wait what" and scroll and see that it doesn't mention autism

anyway, I'm rambling at this point. this is way too long and i hope this doesn't come off as victim blaming for people who get mean messages all the time. I've never gone through a harassment campaign that lasted more than a day and i know that can be tough and can trigger emotional responses in the future even just to one message. but i ain't that guy. people are gonna think what they think of me and they're letters on the screen so what are they really gonna do

[niyana-the-ambiguous-mobian]

Okay, that 2nd half of the finale just went by SO FAST...I'm still processing what the heck was going on?

Primal S2 finale spoilers under the cut:

Fang is alright in the end but Spear gets badly burnt in the process, like really bad. I don't even know what happened to Stoick after they got to the bottom of the cliff, other than Viddarr's hand grabbing him and dragging him back to hell??? I guess he's just gone now.

Now the first half of it I loved, we managed to go back to Mira's homeland (which I am very surprised that they were able to locate), we learn a bit of her backstory and how she got imprisonment to where she first met Spear and Fang, and even got to see that her friend survived and the beautiful village they lived in. That stuff was great, it's towards the second half that really was tipping point.

When freaking Stoick the Fire Mast showed up, I was scared, I was anxious and I was pumped to hell to see what was going to happen since y’know, they're fighting a fucking fire demon of sorts.

They try to heal him back in the village but it looks like he's not going to make it, Fang pretty much roars in grief and her and the dino twins go outside, Mira starts to cry until Spear weakly says her name a few times.

And this part just took me out of it cause......okay, She looks up at the cave paintings he did earlier, smiles and goes on top of him, and they just.....start doing THAT while the camera pans back to the paintings.

All the while, I'm just sitting there about to cry that Spear is going to die, only to suddenly see the two of them getting it on, while this man is on his deathbed it's such a whiplash effect 😆. What the heck is going? Genndy my guy, why? What is happening right now? Why did you do the scene like that?

So then we just immediately jump ahead in time to see the Dino twins all grown up, Fang is still around, Mira is there as well with her hair grown back out and we see that she has a child with her, which is obviously her and Spear's daughter, and the kid is just riding one of the dinos holding a spear up in the air and the episode ends.

......

Bro what?

I know this episode got leaked the day prior and I heard a few people on here being pretty disappointed with it, comparing it to the finale of Samurai Jack S5. Yeah I see it now.

It felt like there was no steady transition and was pretty rushed once we got to the final 5-7 minutes or so, we didn't really have time to fully process in the emotions of the moment before it just ended. It goes from "We defeated Stoick the Fireast but Spear isn't going to make it" to "Oh. Mira and him got it on while he was dying and now they have a kid, life goes on." It was so sudden.

Like holy hell, what a way to end a show am I right?

[xuyaa]

Age gaps

Ahh... I dread this but I'll speak anyway. I keep seeing people have a problem with big age gap couple in fandom. Now before your nostrils all fluff up let me say this, if you can't have an open mind or too fragile for my input please take your leave. This would be wasted on you.

About age gap on fandoms couple (canon or crack) I personally have no problem as long as both parties consent (without child grooming or forced relationship aspect) and considered legal at the start of their relationship and the legality here is not referring to our modern standard but on the couple's world and time. I'll try to explain but it might get long and boring but if you're still okay, continue.

I'll give an example, during the age of samurai if the situation permits like Uesugi Kenshin they can join battle at age 13 and there are still other examples of other famous child samurai. We call it child now because time change but during that time they were considered an adult once they enter battlefield. Why? They already trained years prior to kill and to protect their lord. Example of this in anime would be Himura Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin. His first marriage was when he's around 16 and that was an acceptable age at that era since he was considered adult at age 14. So even though I find it icky if modern day teenager marry at that age, I can understand Kenshin's situation. If I'm still okay reading about him killing people around at even younger age I'm not gonna complain about him wanting to marry (although it's not that simple white and black for him).

You get what I'm trying to say?

More example of the acceptable norms in past era. During certain era in certain place like for example Victorian England and prior, 14 year old boys and 12 year old girls are passable for marriage depends on whether the family want it or not as it's more political than anything else. Same in China for example during the Manchurian Dynasty 14 year old girl is considered adult enough for marriage. And usually the age of the husband is always older by few years up to few decades (officials and emperor). But of course over time all of the above would change. Not by much maybe? Depend on the country I say.

Still we can't just hold the old days custom and norms on our modern day standard that would be akin to the present you calling your two or three year-old self a moron for defecating and not wiping your own ass. Or like when you do something stupid at your young age (pick whatever stupid situation that you have take as a lesson. Done?). You just didn't know better back then but now you do and from your failure you learn, although it would be better if you learn from other's lesson but I say pain is an effective lesson for oneself. Would you rather have that memories of your lesson be removed or ignored? I wouldn't. I don't know if I might do the stupid thing again just to find out whether I can or not. Same as this this whole age gap, young age marriage in the past and present in some customs thing. Don't erase the fact, don't gloss it over because people have and can still learn from them. My grandma married at young age and I came to be as the result of her choice.

Have you ever seen high schooler called Robert D Jr handsome? I've seen it recently on youtube. They call him very handsome and another video talked about cool and handsome senior male models. I've scrolled through the comments and no one seems offended that these high school girls simping for male old enough to be their granddad. These girls called them daddy and commenting how hot they are and the comments either agree or saying the girls reactions are cute. Huh... reverse the situation if these old models commenting female korean idol for example and calling them cute or hot what would people think? "creepy" "pedobear" even though senior female might think the same lines, heck maybe even we think the same lines. See the double standard people use? Maybe not everyone, but the loud ones are there. They're so loud I don't even know if they're majority or minority. I have celebrity crush too when I was young and as it happen, he's my father's age and to be frank, I would not mind an older partner if said partner is compatible and emotionaly mature. My sister is 17 years younger than her husband and they turn out well because her husband is matured enough to understand her ups and downs emotion back when they're dating, even before. Are all men mature emotionally as they became older then? No, just as not all oranges is sweet. My sister is 10 years my senior but she's more bratty than I am sometimes. Is it wrong of my bro in law to be with my sis?

Oh you're just trying to defend pedophilia anywayヽ(`Д´)ﾉ.

No stupid, I'm trying to make you think. I don't accept pedophilia, shotacon or lolicon. My sis is old enough to be called spinster when they go out. Anyway, when you follow a certain series, try to see it from their era and custom's perspective. Some era is okay with 16 year old marrying. Some tribes in Asia allow marriage between cousins while others and the majority of the world frown upon them. That's just how they see and do things. For me as long as both side consent without pressure and not in the case of 'parents sending their child for marriage without their input' thing I'm okay to leave that alone, I'm pretty much sure we're on the same page there. I hope.

So, just as when you come to another country, you adhere to their rules and norms or you have no right to complain if they deport you out for not learning beforehand and breaking their rules. Or when you have a guest come to your home and they suddenly start demanding you to do stuff their way, you should kick them out if not slapping their face. Or if you want to be kind, explain how you do things in your home and hoping they would understand and respect it.

I'm jumping around but see what I'm trying to say? I'll get to another anime example.

In Naruto for instance, they became genin at 12 and killing people left and right. People are okay with that right? Yeah well, since it was soo popular I suppose... besides it's pretty glossed over in both manga and anime. But the same people that's okay with children killing left and right, would they be okay if suddenly the mangaka put in story about one of the chara going on seduction mission? If it's carried out well as in the chara being bamf, maybe no problem. But if things went south for the chara? I'm sure there will be outrage, especially if that's a female chara or worse if it's one of the main like Sakura. See? People hold the characters, the series and the mangaka to their own convenient double standards. Back to the age gap when shipping, I pick Naruto as example because apparently Sakura was just so shippable that people actually ship her with Kakashi and even Madara and she makes easy example. Don't ask me why she's shipped with Madara and I don't ship any of the two with Sakura. Anyway, if Sakura is mature enough to choose to kill as a teenager (and don't give me crap about Sakura never killing on screen. Their line of work involves lots of death and she's been through war) she's mature enough to decide her romantic partner even if it's suddenly Orochimaru(ㆆ_ㆆ) (did they even exist?). You can say her taste is terrible because he's an asshole but don't say it's gross cause the age difference because apparently Orochimaru can just rejuvenated to new body and be as good as a babe (I wish I could too). Anyway saying it's about age on these kind of chara is just straight up lie on people's part. Another example I can think of atm is snk. I've seen people against pairing the 104th with the veterans because of age gap. Now I'm not trying to be rude, but hear me if you please. The whole 104th are trained child soldiers and they're killing titans and even humans. You're all okay with that? If you still follow the series far enough and liking it maybe you enjoy seeing the action sequence, drama and intrigue? The fact that you still come back to the series after this long proves that you're still okay with all the gores and blood spilled with all the glorious child soldier most of all. They become soldier because of circumstances you say? I'm glad you think so too! Although I must point out, the 104th did CHOOSE to be soldiers (just as Naruto and co choose to be ninja). They could be farmers or thugs for all we know. All the soldiers in snk choose their occupation, thay all trained and decide to join the Survey Corps, in fact the only one that join reluctantly in the first place is the former thug although he continues in the end. That aside, their circumstances certainly are different than us don't they? They don't even know a car and blip exist before Marley... They must have a whole lot of different mindset and norms than ours too for a civilization whose life are about survival against titans that's 100 years behind than other civilization in their world. Ever think of that?

Seeing modern day teenage in romantic lights are indeed hard as I'm sure the majority can't even survive without their gadget and parents' money. I certainly can't at that age. Immature. Even those in their twenties and thirties are immature these days. But now when one of those child soldier who have a whole lot of different mindset and maturity level is being shipped with older chara, you're against it. Okay. Maybe it's indeed easier for you to see 15 year olds regardless of their profession to commit act of violence and even kill than to love... (does that sounds okay to you?)

...I'm not saying killing mindlessly is alright because it is NOT. But that would need a whole lot different threads and time to spare and maybe someone else can do it or already done it before me.

But here's the good thing, even when the ship starts when they grow and at the modern legal age of 18 and 19, or even far above like centuries, it's still not okay for some people to ship them. I don't mind if it's your preference and you don't go disturbing other's corner when they don't even enforce their ship as words of god and even acknowledging that 'yes, maybe it's not canon and just our bits of fun' but sometimes it got to the point of belittling those who do ship age gap couple and treat them like a criminal in need of help or wishing them death. Seriously? Yes. People are that immature.

If you don't like a ship because you think your own is better, fine. Do your thing in your corner but don't go to other people's corner just to talk shit without even knowing why they ship what they ship. Most of this ship is just in our head in the end, and even if your ship is canon it does not make you any greater in real life.

I can't think of anything else to say now, but thanks for reading with open mind. ◝(⑅•ᴗ•⑅)◜..°♡

Now before anyone waste their time typing out comments, I refer to my first paragraph. Here's some imaginary flower for you all🌷

Apparently I'm not clear enough so I fix my wording. I'm here not defending minor and old people relationship but age gap couple who happen to be aged up to acceptable age despite their profession. Here's some choco🍫

[lilyclawthorne]

Keeping Up A-fear-ance's Thoughts

I finished writing this shortly after 3 am after watching the new episode like three times because I simply had too much energy about it and I have so many thoughts because I simply live for clawthornes and also I tried to break it up with more photos this time sorry not sorry if it's a lot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

YOUNG EDA!! let me just say I am quite a fan of opening with a flashback like we've done here and the last episode

"we have never seen a curse like this before" Lilith you had shit luck picking out curses huh

"cut it out if we have to" goddamn Gwen let'a calm the fuck down a bit.

anyways we've only really seen young Eda as a wild and confident and happy little child so I appreciate seeing this side of her with the anxiety and fear she's feeling here. I love seeing what the curse stuff was like for her as a kid

Gwen: I raised a perfectly fine kid

Me: no you didn't look at her she's got anxiety

I'm guessing this is their backyard or just some woods behind their house?? wonder if the portal was placed there by another elder family member.

lmao I can't even begin to imagine what small Eda experiencing the human realm was like for the first time

Gwens giving me "I can't accept that my child is disabled/chronically ill/etc." here. y’know the kinda parent that'll put their kid through hell over something they probably will find a way to learn to live with (which Eda did do)

ok that's it I humbly request to know the story behind the fang now (also the noise she made when she put it in was freaking cute)

new dress! new boots! new dress! new boots!

..yikes that fridge is empty

"calm down the curse acts stronger when you're stressed" Eda do you know who you're talking to here

confirmation losing limbs is in fact a side effect of the curse!! (y'know since Eda originally said it just happens when you get older)

please I love these sisters they're so sweet and make me wanna go 🥺

"suddenly curious about my past" "always. always curious" Luz says exactly what we all think

witchlet?? sweet flea?? she's got pet names for them 🥺 (although idk how much I'd like to be referred to as any kind of flea sorry Lilith)

ok Gwen is very much not close to what I expected and I'm kinda grateful for that

she's more like super caring but still managed to royally fuck up which was my original head canon for clawthorne parents so uh that's cool. but literally, look at their body language, Eda's pissed, Lilith's sad and making herself small. she's clearly messed up with her parenting on both of them along the way.

"who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" mama clawthorne would be a fucking anti-vaxxer wouldn't she

ok I side with Eda here more than Luz and Lilith. just because Luz misses her mother, or Lilith hasn’t seen their mom in so long doesn’t mean Eda has to feel all grateful for the presence of Gwen, especially if the woman has caused her a lot of trouble over the years

I feel like the fact that its actually both Lilith and Gwendolyn have spent their whole lives dedicated to trying to find a cure could probably have held some kind of weight on Eda at some point. Even though she shouldn't feel guilty or responsible for that, I still feel like it's gotta suck knowing these people have spent so much time on something you know is likely never gonna happen, all for you.

Lilith 😞 her mother really just didn't pay attention to her all these years

hey if this guy does some next level healing magic then why isn't he more well-known, huh? why’d it take so long to come across him?? Gwen do you know what the fuck you're doing cause I think you don't

Lilith just because you're depressed about your mom doesn't mean you have to bring king down too 😠

SUPER irrelevant but is anyone else just bothered by the way Lilith is holding her spoon?? that doesn't seem like a comfortable way to hold a spoon. also is she left handed??

"knife season came early" EDA WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. is this a boiling isles things or is this a it’s common for people to throw knives at you thing

also I want to be surprised Eda fell for the apple blood signs but I am not 😔 

Luz please trust you're gut on this one and not mama clawthorne

ok now I need to know why the fridge was empty but they had 18 cartons of ice cream this is why you guys don't have food you're wasting it all on ice cream.

wow never thought I'd see the day hooty became the voice of reason

also, night market ice cream?? are they implying this ice cream is like, edibles of some sort?? Lilith does seem kinda high here ngl. idk man but at least she wants to stand up for herself so good for her.

PLEASE kings just offering her ice cream while she transforms

"first in a series" Gwen honey oh no. you've been duped. I think we can see where Lilith got her na��veté from huh.

Also, nice snatch Luz 😊

anyways love how this show is basically making fun of moms who refuse to give their kids proper medical treatment or listen to medical professionals here

EXCUSE ME why do we know Gwen's palisman's name before we know Lilith's?????

"I am a mother who'll do anything for her daughter" you're mom who's suffocating obsession with one daughter has left the other neglected and is currently causing her to turn into a full on beast ya dummy

Eda DOES have a right to be upset. it sucks that her own valid emotions that she should get to feel will cause her while body to betray her.

PLEASE I’M SO GLAD LILITH’S BEAST DESIGN LOOKS LIKE HER AND IS NOT THE THING FROM THE TRAILER THAT IS ACTUALLY IN EDA"S HEAD WHEN SHE’S TRANSFORMED

but also why is she SO massive?? also anyone concerned that this is her first transformation and the light glyph trick wouldn't even work??

Gwen look at what you've done, you've fostered feelings of inferiority in one daughter causing her to feel the need for sibling rivalry that the pure instincts of the raven beast cannot suppress no matter how much their sisterly relationship had improved.

HOW COULD YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER ALSO BEING CURSED BE A PART OF THE PROCESS GWEN??

"after Eda was cursed, I joined the beast keeping coven" woah woah WOAH. you're telling me you only joined because of trying to help Eda. that covens existed, before Eda got cursed, and you very much weren't a part of one. combine that with "some words for belos" she has and do I smell wild witch theory still plausible???

anyways at least mama clawthorne is getting some sense into her head here

Morton c'mon help a girl out, that's some dang good art too what the heck dude

ok fine mama clawthorne to the rescue

no pls not raven beast Lilith crying im crying now

Gwen: I raised a fine and self-sufficient child

Me: no you didn't look at her. she's got, SO MUCH.

GODDAMN THATS SOME POWER. ngl this only adds fuel to the fire in my head that there was some kinda reasoning these sisters were torn apart, that someone felt they'd be too powerful together (and they were probably right)

"I heard you but I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't do anything" may be just because she's not used to the curse but again part of me is concerned that because she couldn't pull herself out of it even a little bit like Eda did that there's something wrong there. but she also could've been stressed beyond reasonably calming herself down too.

ok but this is sweet

NOOO im so sad Lilith's leaving :( I literally cried ok

"you lived here?" fine OKAY king that was hilarious even if im sad about this

"reconnect with dad" excuse me where the fuck has this man been in the middle of all of this. curse shit is going DOWN and he's just chilling at home.

I am curious about people's thoughts regarding the whole Lilith regression thing and the fact that she's literally going to be living with her parents again. I feel like it could help nurture that inner child she's been reverting back to and help her out a LOT. but I could also be concerned about it feeding into the regression and making it worse?? idk and this show probably ain't getting that actually deep into psych anyways

"some day my hair is gonna be big enough to do that too" Luz I cannot wait for the day. also mood, I wish I could do that too.

alright who's holding the fucking pen for hooty we need a volunteer RIGHT NOW so we can remain in contact with Lulu

NOT THE ONLY HUMAN? my bets on the real azura rip never mind she said he

Titan’s Blood?? interesting. If the blood of the titan is around I wonder what that means regarding the titans existence, and how long its been since the titan fell.

AHH BABY LUZ PHOTO

ALSO WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?? They're really gonna spring that on us like this??? Camila's gotta notice somethings wrong right??? Unless any differences she just chalks up to the camp?? oh god :(

well, anyways lumity shippers come get yo juice next weekend

anyways im gonna need to add a NOT canon compliant tag on that one Gwendolyn fic I wrote because it definitely do not comply anymore

[the-melting-world]

picrew

Seeing as how long I have been a HUGE fan of the airbender series (ATLA), it's actually kind of ridiculous that I never got into the fandom. Anyway, humor me while I go through each of my ocs and babble about their roles, histories, and bending styles in the ATLA universe! Also please excuse the fact that they had zero afro-textured options for hair in this one lol.

*Check under the cut for an unnecessary amount of lore.*

Kipling ~ Waterbender | Northern-style waterbending, vine/plant-bending, healing

Water Tribe Babeyyyyy

I don't really see Kip hailing from the Southern or Northern Water Tribes, but rather from a coastal village that developed after a handful of Southern Water Tribe hostages escaped one of the prisoner of war strongholds in the Earth Kingdom. I mean, if Hama (The Puppetmaster) and the plant benders from Foggy Swamp were any indication, there were water benders scattered all over the Earth Kingdom during Lord Ozai's military campaign.

Bending-wise, Kip has always been an average waterbender, whose bending is strongest when she's manipulating the water in plants and vines. When she comes of age, she is determined to advance her skills and find a way to serve her tribe more directly. So she travels to the Northern Water Tribe to seek an apprenticeship. There Kip advances her skills in traditional water bending forms (because up until then, her methods have been rather unorthodox) as well as her affinity for healing.

While Kip is up north, she does get close to Princess Yue in their healing classes. For a long time, Kip develops what she believes is a stupid crush, but eventually discovers the Princess has mutual feelings. Step aside, Sokka, you ain't the only one. Kip and Yue explore their relationship, but only briefly until the guilt and paranoia of getting caught and tarnishing Yue's reputation catches up to them. Kip ends up leaving in the dead of night leaving nothing but - you guessed it - a poem for Yue to find.

Kip happens to be one of the travelers Team Avatar meets while they're on the road. It's quite some time after the invasion of the Northern Water Tribe. This is after Yue has passed on, but before the group reaches Ba Sing Se. Both being kind of self-taught waterbenders, Kip and Katara bond very easily. Kip has a hard time being around Sokka since it's the first time she's felt something for someone since Yue. Still, despite Kip's efforts to ignore Sokka, they end up bonding over a lot of stuff, both stupid and serious. I'm not going to go into details about what went down when they inevitably learned of each other's past relationships with Yue, but yes, there were lots of emotions. A lot of Kip trying to run away and shake herself of Sokka. A lot of Sokka battling between pursuing her or leaving her alone. It's a mess. And no I still don't know how it turns out. Haven't planned it out that far.

After Ozai is defeated, Kip makes her living as a traveling waterbending instructor with her good Earth Kingdom friend, Khleo. She travels the territories, finding hidden water tribes and informing them of the fall of Ozai. She works with Khleo and the community members to open smalls schools, closely modeled after the earthbending schools in Omashu.

***

Khleo ~ Earthbender | earthbending, sandbending, lavabending

Khleo had a rocky start to their journey. Sorry, I couldn't help it.

They were born in an area that bordered on the Si Wong Desert and the mountain chain dividing the land from Chameleon Bay (where they later meet Kipling.) Naturally, Khleo picks up a little bit from each of the known forms of earth manipulation. Although they develop into a fully realized master by the time they reach adulthood, they don't ever try their hand at meltalbending when it starts to gain popularity after the fall of Ozai.

Khleo grew up poor and had to resort to unsavory business ventures with the local sandbenders in order to keep food on the table. But since they were the sole bender that could calm down the nearby volcanoes whenever they acted up, they were always regarded as a hero within the community.

Eventually, the Fire Nation finds a way to complicate Khleo's existence and they have to flee their home. First, they cross the mountain range to Chameleon Bay, where they meet the waterbender Kipling, who they easily bond with. Khleo and Kip travel together for some time until they run into Jet and his crew. Jet's lifestyle appeals to Khleo, who was tired of roughing it. But Kip takes one look at Jet and knows that he's bad news. She and Khleo part ways.

Like most of the kids in Jet's crew, Khleo blinded themself to his activities in order to survive and stay connected to a family group. But when his actions become too hard for them to go along with, they abandon the Freedom Fighters and go to go look for work elsewhere.

Khleo had set their sights on Omashu, where they believed they could earn an honest living and still practice their bending without the eyes of the Fire Nation bearing down on them. The journey was tough and Khleo had a few brushes with death, but they made it to Omashu. There they were immediately hired by a cabbage vendor who struggled in the past with keeping his wares in one piece. Khleo guarded his cabbage stand for all but a week before they were noticed by some Omashu academy trainers. They offered Khleo a job as an instructor in multiple earthbending forms. Surprised, but very willing, Khleo accepted. Eventually, Khleo was inducted into the Order of the White Lotus.

Years later, Khleo reunites with a very emotionally scarred Kipling. She stays with them until the capture of King Bumi, after which they quickly leave the city so that they can carry out the will of the White Lotus in hopes to undermine the Fire Nation's plan to conquer the Earth Kingdom on the day of Sozin's Comet 2.0.

***

Ozy ~ The Avatar Firebender/Airbender hybrid | firebending, airbending

Ozy's kind of special. He has an affinity for two elements.

He was born in the Fire Nation in a very, very small village on the coast of Crescent Island. When Ozy's parents noticed that their child was something of a prodigy, they brought him straight to the Fire Sages.

Now, there was a split among the sages. Some were loyal to Lord Ozai while others were secretly members of the Order of the White Lotus. One of the members recognized Ozy's affinity for airbending very early on and did everything they could to protect him.

Without being able to say goodbye to his parents or getting an explanation for what was happening, Ozy was sent to the Western Air Temple (you know, the cool upsidedown one) where he learned airbending with the help of older White Lotus members as well as spiritual experts like Guru Pathik (the same guru who taught Aang how to navigate the Avatar State.)

As Ozy became more and more enlightened, he came to believe that his gift was not a rare one. When he was not actively practicing the rudimentary components of bending, he was meditating on the factors that led the majority of people to believe that the ability to bend was inherited based on the ethnic and cultural group into which they were born. He thought that while this was true to some degree, additional affinities could be unlocked through the forgotten teachings of the Air Nomads.

To test his theory, Ozy went on a very dangerous journey to the Library in the Si Wong Desert, where he met and became very bonded to Uncle Iroh. Thankfully, Iroh and Ozy managed to not get eaten by the Library's spiritual patron. Later, Ozy declined Iroh's invitation to the Order of the White Lotus, instead choosing to retire to the Northern Air Temple. Thre he ended up assisting the mechanists with the construction of the flight technology (part of which had already been stolen and weaponized by the Fire Nation.) Ozy never left the Northern Air Temple to help in the fight against Ozai. Instead, he remained and became the first of the Air Acolytes, from which grows a community that later founded Air Temple Island and discovered the next child born into the Avatar Cycle - Korra of the Water Tribe.

***

Sun Bai ~ Airbender | proficient in airbending. Technically.

Bai, unfortunately, did not discover that he was an airbender until he was well into his twenties. The only way he unlocked his affinity for bending was through a traumatic event, the effects of which he managed to suppress for several years. It wasn't until Bai found himself in another flight or fight situation that he spontaneously called upon his connection to the air element. (Turns out Ozy was kind of right!)

Once Bai realized what he was made of, he made it a point to gather as much knowledge on the subject as he could. Everything that he came to understand about bending was self-taught. Meditation came more naturally to him, but even that required additional training, discipline, and theory to fully master. (He was basically the opposite of Avatar Korra, who picked up on the manual technique of airbending quite easily, but struggled with its spiritual component.)

Bai didn't really play a role in the fight against Lord Ozai. He didn't run into any of the Trio or Team Avatar. His journey didn't really start until after the war. At which point he meets General Adrenaline, and then later, Sascha of the Water Tribe.

General Rosario Adrenaline ~ Firebender | firebending, master in lightning redirection

Like Ozy, Adrenaline was another firebending prodigy. (In fact, it was Adrenaline who worked very closely with Princess Azula to hone her lightning redirection technique.) Eventually, Nali's skills were exploited to the fullest in the Fire Nation's military campaign, but long before that, firebending for her was a means to perform and entertain the masses.

Adrenaline grew up in the same circus troupe as Ty Lee! They had been best friends since childhood and ended up escaping together.

While Princess Azula always favored Ty Lee and Mei over Nali as bodyguards, she often went to Nali for "companionship." Azula kept her relationship with Nali very private. It lasted well into Azula's teenage years and got pretty serious. Though neither of them considered themselves in love with the other (just due to the fact that there was so much of a strain on them thanks to social hierarchy, and Azula being Azula) Nali developed a very deep, unhealthy loyalty to Azula, that in the end, resulted in her banishment from protecting the royal family.

After she was banished, Nali linked up with Zuko, who wasn't really all that happy about it, but Iroh steps in and gives the wise compassionate uncle lecture. Zuko folds and Nali becomes one his crew!

Nali and Azula continue to pursue their relationship. And now that it started to hinge on whenever Azula came around to fuck with Zuko's head, you can imagine how even more unhealthy and eventually toxic it became. Nali was torn between her loyalty to Azula versus her loyalty to Zuko. And Azula... didn't really care. It was a mess. Didn't end pretty.

Only after Azula was imprisoned by her brother did Nali finally wipe her hands completely clean of the Fire Nation's royal family. Not really caring what was happening in the rest of the world, she stumbled around from territory to territory, drinking, gambling, and taking up muscle for hire gigs to keep herself afloat. Until she meets and unexpectedly bonds with a very lazy monk, who needed an escort through the Serpent's Pass.

***

Sascha ~ Nonbender | weapons specialist - firearms and projectiles

Solo ~ Waterbender | Southern-style waterbending, bloodbending

Sascha and Solo were both students of Hama. Nuff said.

Although the twins soaked up much of Hama's ruthless, yet practical attitude towards survival, they just didn't inherit her very deep, eternal loathing for the Fire Nation.

They also realized that she was pretty messed up.

When Sascha and Solo were of age, they made a clean break from Hama and decided to open up a business in one of the towns along the mountainside.

Having grown up in the Fire Nation colonies, Sascha and Solo were very used to hiding their connection to their Water Tribe heritage. They blended in well and opened their garment and optics shop. It was a strange combination, but they managed to stake their claim in the community.

However, the two of them were still very clear enemies of the Fire Nation. They rebelled by getting the information out to other Water Tribe refugees living in hiding. Solo taught bloodbending in his self defense classes (which was much easier for him to pull off rather than traditional waterbending because it required less physical labor and thus did not put as much of a strain on his body.)

Meanwhile, Sascha would show Water Tribe nonbenders how to assemble firearms, which at the time, were considered still very new and dangerous technology.

Solo was happy with their life, but Sascha grew bored and restless. She wanted an adventure.

Then one day a very strange monk winds up wounded on her doorstep in the middle of the night. He's riddled with bullets - the kind of which only Fire Nation militia and Sascha herself would know how to remove and treat the damage they could cause...

***

And a treat for those that made it this far! 😜

Me!!! A water-airbender hybrid. And you're damn right I would have some hair loopies!

[abombihoney]

i hope you're happy, because you managed to make EVERYONE cry

that is such a sad idea! like, knowing how the only cordy that has the memories of the host still has some gaps there and there means that vi may end up forgetting things. what would be worse is that she may forget some things she did together with the team. even worse: maybe the cordy will also forget things which, you know, is BAD in a way. like, it may end up forgetting more important things.

tho, this really shows how she's also kind. like yeah, she uses bravado and anger to deal with her emotions, but that doesn't mean she's completely bad! she's just a teen after all (which also makes the situation sadder, since of course everyone would assume that she is lying; she's just a child! no one really believes a child, they are easy to manipulate. like, she is NOT lying but nobody believes her. the fact that she ends up in such a bad situation is horrible, since no child should fear the people that were close to her. of course she can't see the queen like a kind being anymore; she doesn't understand that she KNOWS. she KNOWS what she's saying, so of course vi would feel betrayed; no one takes her seriously)

tbh i also really like how you made crow be the one who helps them in escaping. it's a nice touch, considering that the team comments on how she seems to be overworked. she could have easily overheard the discussion (since it's a tattle) which was a sign for her that hey, someone cares a little for her.

(btw, you're working on a fic? that's awesome! also sorry for this whole dump! i'm very interested) - mothposts (i'm on mobile so i can't send an ask from my account)

Good! If I had to cry so did everyone else!!!!

on the memory thing: :)

Yeah nobody ever believes kids or teenagers about anything, I remember how much that pissed me off as a kid. I never could understand why I would have to explain myself about w/e, if the adult in question had already made up their mind, but was just hearing me out "to be fair" or some bs.

which as an adult now, there is a degree of "oh this is teenage emotions/oh yeah they're a teen. teens just be like that." Teenagers are very emotional, they lash out A Lot.

The teenage years are when you start learning all sorts of shit. You learn that adults don't actaully know everything, they probably don't know much more than you. Teenagers are really getting into the concept their own personal morals and ethics, every single small issue seems huge to them! This is the first time they're dealing with stuff in a context more complex than "following the rules is good, otherwise is bad."

anyway, kids aren't stupid. adults just tend to get up their own asses so much that they forget kids are just inexperienced people. Have you ever heard of baby powder effect? i think its called?

it's the concept that someone who changed your diapers is never going to take you seriously. anyone who knew you when you were just a baby are never going to see you as fully functioning adult, and worse, as an adult of equal standing. I'm sure that when you are the mother of your entire kingdom, you might have a problem with listening to your subjects.

Yes with crow it's also that she is the assistant to the head scientist. you don't see someone you know play card with occasionally get vivisected and just, go on with your day.

i have Thoughts on Kabbu and Jaune :)

Yes! the fic i'm working on is actually just fleshing out these concepts! I'm just adding narration, concrete series of events, and slighter better drawings. I already have seven chapters outlined lol.

[lesserfandomappreciation]

This is probably a tall order, but I was wondering if you could do some general personality headcanons for the Deadly Six from Sonic Lost World? It hurts my heart that the characters weren't more popular, but I can understand why at the same time since they're not that fleshed out. I mean, there's hints of stuff here and there, it's just not much. But the zeti have potential, damn it! Let me know if you want some specifics on things, of if you wanna do this in pieces. Thanks for your time~

WORLD BUILDING! World building and character building is my ham so I’m thrilled to do this! This actually become significantly longer than intended. 

So I have never played this game, so I’m basing this exclusively off a few cutscenes I managed to find and general initial impressions. Let me know if you want something more in-depth!

Deadly Six reimagined (Sonic Lost World)

General

The Zeti race as a whole is referred to as “demons” with the Deadly 6 appearing to be the deadliest of their species. Heavily implied in the game is the fact that the Zeti are a lethal, violent race taking pride in practiced malevolence. 

An entire race being evil or amoral is not only an outdated trope, but one with really icky origins so knackers to that I’m throwing in some of my own world building. 

Based on how the Deadly 6 are all either disciples of or literally Master Zik, the reimagined!Zeti race is less malevolent so much as focused on attainment of glory and recognition. Every person is expected to discipline themselves into a strong, powerful being capable of great achievements. Competition is rampant with rivalry being imposed from a young age. 

Despite rivalry, those who study under a common Master consider themselves as a structured force or clan representing their Master and his/her/their ideology. Master Zik in particular holds the ideology of complete domination of foes and enforcing the strength that already exists. Those who come across his clan often get the impression the Zeti exist to conquer when really, it is only in response to what is done to them to remind people not to mess with them. 

Zeti are driven by the goals of communal recognition; challenges make individuals stronger, thus reinforcing the people as a whole. Spar-matches and challenges are inherent in the society. Clans and individuals alike compete to bring glory. 

But. There is an unspoken rule amongst the Zeti that keeps things from ever turning to a full blood bath. Zeti do not turn against their own Clan or family (both if they are one in the same as is the case with many). The idea of any Zeti attacking a sibling in learning or a relative is unheard of - any who did that are considered dishonorable and risk expulsion as a whole from society. 

Master Zik

Utter the name “Zik” in any Zeti plaza. Previous foes will wilt in cowardice. Pride from their allies puffs up further. The average Zeti, neither friend nor foe, will still be able to share a tale or two of one of the greatest warriors to have ever trained. 

In a society focused on discipline and achieving greatness, Zik went above expectations. Bars he set have but rarely been neared. Until Zavok, most were largely considered impossible to meet. 

Zik is a unique Zeti. Warriors do set Clans up to welcome new students and carry on their name, but Zik is not an easy master. His ideology of domination is standard but his ideas of strength are incredibly unique in a world where weakness is to be quelled and trained away. Zik believes that the inherent strength within an individual should be harnessed instead of ignored. Any skill can be made combative if one knows how to master it completely. 

In all his years Zik took on only a handful of students, with only 5 ever making it into his inner circle and being official members of his Clan. He is not an easy teacher. 

Obstacles are nothing to this little Zeti. He has faced a lifetime of challenges due to his small stature and his unique powers. Strategy, cunning and an overwhelming drive to be strong allowed him to rise above the ranks. Any challenge he faces he knows has a solution - it is a difficult task to actually perturb him to the point of nerves. 

It’s specifically because of his lifetime of difficulties that he taught all his students to eradicate their foes so thoroughly. Too many times his mercy let to more foes than needed. Crush a foe and all they hold dear, and no one will ever come to avenge their broken ashes. 

Zik views himself as a father figure turned advisor to the group. In his heart of hearts, they are his pride and joy. He could not leave them. Bedridden and frail he’s still drag his way alongside them to keep these youngsters of his on the right path. 

Zomom (First Disciple)

Zomom is the eldest of Master Zik’s student, being the first welcomed into Zik’s inner circle. This is a matter of great pride for him and makes him very protective of the others as a result. Zavok holds the title of leader but it is no secret that the eldest of the students holds his fellow disciples close to his heart much how an older brother might view his siblings. 

Zomom knows a lot about the other members of the team. They feel comfortable around him one-on-one, often using him as a quiet listener to talk through their thoughts. 

Zomom is a strange Zeti. By height and strength he should have been a popular choice amongst his people. Yet his lack of common sense and social norms made it difficult to fit into society’s definition of a good warrior. The perceived lack of discipline in terms of food also earned him backlash from others. Emotional manipulation is an effective way of ensuring they didn’t have to fight the giant warrior physically. 

It was his sincerity, his genuine sense of being and wanting to learn, that made Master Zik bring him in as a student, then disciple. Zomom is genuine, true person who could not tell a life to save his life but still tries so hard to survive in a world where lying is viewed as not just acceptable but required in some social circles. Zik saw his food abilities and build, before tailoring his training to include more food intake and improve speed. 

Most affable of the Deadly 6, Zomom may be the butt of the joke at some times but they would all be furious should any harm befall him. Zomom’s willingness to shrug off insults does not sit well with any of them and they will gladly take the place of his vengeful fury to ensure it does not happen again. 

Seeing one or two of the Deadly 6 relaxing with Zomom when they are burned out or want to slow down is common. 

Zazz (The Second Disciple)

This is a case of a master forcibly adopting a feral child than a student asking a master to teach them. Zomom who was there the day Zazz was brought in to be taught is the only one besides Zik who knows why the Master took such a shining to Zazz, though the most he ever says on the matter is “It was like looking at a silly mirror.”

Zazz is almost the perfect Zeti. Intensely strong, with an immense battle-hunger. You’d be hard-pressed to find a more terrifying opponent. The issue lies with that same battle hunger that would make them popular in other circumstances. The whole point of the Zeti’s competitiveness is that it is, somehow, disciplined and the result of self-control/personal growth. Zazz’s entire motivation can be summed up as “because I want to.”

Zazz is very much a wild child turned wild adult with a lot of energy to burn. The ideas of the Zeti bore them a lot - why should they spend time proving himself when everyone’s so much weaker than them? They’d rather be seeking out good opponents or filling theirs time doing things that feed his ever-flickering attention. 

Despite their very intense personality, Zazz is fiercely protective of the clan. They’re the only ones to really indulge Zazz’s wide range of interests and teach them a few of their own. One day they may be with Zeena learning new techniques to make their appearance fiercer, the next they’re in the shadows with Zor learning a shadow technique that will absolutely scare the shit out of Master Zik, this time for sure!

Picks up skills like a dog gets fleas. They’re not a master at any of them but the way they’re able to combine them makes them a fearsome opponent, a lethal prankster and find something to connect over with anyone. 

Zeena (The Third Disciple)

Female-identifying Zeti are held to the same standard as any other Zeti so her presence in the Clan isn’t entirely unexpected. However, many Zeti tend to prefer Clans of their own gender out of comfort or outright preference.

Youngster Zeena, known for her cold intensity, had her pick of the litter in terms of Masters - her tethering abilities made her a powerful long-distance opponent, and her technology skills make her a verifiable weapon powerhouse. Her choice to go for Master Zik was a surprise, but Zik accepted her. 

In truth, she went for Master Zik because she didn’t want to just be a long-distance specialist. She wanted a Master who could hone her abilities to be used in more creative ways. Zomom and Zazz’s successes got her attention.  

With Zik she learned to use her tethering abilities to completely control the field. Able to move quickly, redirect her opponents and load the battle field with her varied arsenal, facing off against Zeena is incredibly difficult. 

Always looking to perfect her abilities as the “Perfect Zeti Fighter” Zeena spends a lot of time perfecting her body to make it superior to other Zeti. Outside of that in her lab she’s developing new weapons with distinct abilities to use in combat. Bouncy bombs, whips with unique charges - she’s offered to create some for the rest of the team, but they’ve only accepted limited help. 

Zeena views herself as the pinnacle of Zeti power, with the ability to do more. She holds the rest of the Deadly 6 to the same standard and is not above offering weapons advice or ways to improve their appearance to terrify their enemies into a stupor. 

Zor (The Fourth Disciple)

Zor was not expected to succeed. There are many ways to be considered a successful Zeti - strength, speed, smarts. Lurking in the shadows is not traditionally viewed as particularly impressive. Zor’s inclination to the shadows made him unpopular in the society.

In turn, this made Zor dislike society as a whole and develop a severe nihilistic attitude that continues to plague him to this day. Why should he trust a system that failed him so badly anyway? It is ultimately pointless. 

Zor didn’t so much as join the Clan as he was chased into the clan. Lurking in his shadows he didn’t know of the tall Zeti whose attention has zeroed in on the very interestingly-moving shadow until Zazz had already begun to give chase. Master Zik hadn’t a clue what to make of the huffy Zeti his Second Disciple had under his arm, but if Zazz saw talent in this one, it was worth exploring. 

Zor’s abilities as a spymaster make him a vital part of the group. His abilities contribute to that but it is his powers of observation and deduction that really lend themselves to this role. Having been a spectator to his society for most of his life, he has developed powerful strategies to collect information at a mass scale - needless to say, trying to keep a secret from him is difficult. 

The main introvert of the group, Zor struggles to be with them all at once. While he likes each one of them just fine (good luck getting him to say that) their overall energy can be overwhelming. He prefers to be with one-three people at a time to preserve his social energy.

Zavok (The Final Disciple)

Societies have ideal standards people strive towards. Often impossible to achieve, they’re viewed more as a lifetime goal than a realistic achievement. Those who do manage to hit it are considered to be above others as they command respect. Amongst the Zeti, that impossible person is Zavok. 

Zavok himself comes from an impressive lineage - all the Zeti before him have been great warriors, commanders, people filling leadership roles. Each generation of greatness placed more expectations upon the next and as an only child, Zavok had no one to share these burdens with. He exceled at them, but it was not the glory he sought. He wanted to great his own reputation free of his past. 

The announcement of Zavok’s self-imposed expulsion from his lineage shook Zeti society to its core. His subsequent request to become Zik’s pupil further shook everyone, but Master Zik did have a penchant for collecting odd students. What was one more lost warrior seeking purpose?

Zavok evolved far beyond anyone could have guessed under Master Zik’s tutelage. Part of this was due to his own upbringing, but it truly was Zavok’s own determination and fast mind that let him adapt to Zik’s unusual forms of training. He wanted to become indomitable and he would do whatever it took to do so.... 

...But, he wasn’t quite perfect.  Zavok is a brilliant minded individual, but upon reaching the inner circle, he realized that he was incredibly unused to working in a group. It took a great deal of time, self-reflection and humbling for him to become the leader he is to do, due in part to his own hang-ups he thought he had left behind with his family. 

With time, he grows to respect each team member and view them as close family. Upon Zik’s retirement and Zavok’s ascension to the head of the Clan, Zavok was the undisputed respected and admired leader of the Clan, holding each of them in high regard and daring anyone to try and take what they had built. 

[panaceand30]

Autism and Periods

[Alt text: A set of twitter screencaps from twitter user ItsEmilyKaty talking about autism and periods.]

Transcription: Let's talk about autism and periods. - a thread.

There is little research on the experiences of autistic people and periods, likely due to the narrative still being heavily focused on cis autistic boys and autistic men. However, we know that periods can be harder for autistic people, so we must have this conversation.

Sensory issues can be a huge difficulty for autistic people managing periods. Many report that existing sensory difficulties are worse at this time, rendering them even more hypersensitive to noise, taste, smell, which can provide more barriers to managing day to day life.

Additional sensory difficulties which come with periods make this even harder to manage. For example, period products can be hard to use and manage, and the sensory issues from physical pain as well as nausea and other physical side-effects, can make this time unbearable.

Autistic people tend to struggle with executive functioning. This means knowing what you need to do and how to do this. For a young autistic especially, this can be really hard when managing periods. Remembering to carry period products and to change them is hard.

@robyn_steward: “While most people end up learning how to put a pad on when they get a period, autistic people often need to practice before. For them, it’s not just about learning to do something new; it’s also all the sensory experiences, the noises, the sounds, the smells.”

Self-regulation and managing emotions is made a lot harder. We can find it hard to recognise our emotions, to understand them, and to manage them, and our periods exacerbate this, which can lead to meltdowns, self-harm and complete exhaustion.

Mood swings are a difficult one too. It can take us longer to self-regulate and return to a baseline, so when our emotions are all over the place and we are dealing with the normal stuff autistic people find hard to cope with, and our period, this is an absolute nightmare.

Some evidence suggests that autistic women are more likely to experience very painful and heavy periods, issues with menstrual hygiene, severe PMS and worse mood/behavioural changes. We need more understanding of this, because it can really affect our life.

Autistic people struggle with change and uncertainty. To suddenly come on your period, which may cause you to cancel plans or commitments due to being in pain and overwhelmed, can lead to meltdowns and high anxiety.

For an autistic child, starting their period can be very overwhelming. They may need extra support and patience in knowing and understanding what is happening. If they start their period without a clear understanding of what they should do & who to turn to, this can be worse.

Clear communication and explanations are needed, without euphemisms and without brushing over the subject. An autistic child needs to know exactly what to expect, what to do if they're at school, what it will look like and what it may feel like.

@robyn_steward: "Autistic people only really work with the information that they’re given. If up to that point, the only time they’ve seen blood is when they have fallen over or if they’ve been ill, they will associate blood with being broken or damaged in some way”.

There is some evidence and discussion that autistic girls start puberty and periods earlier than non-autistic girls. If you are autistic or parenting an autistic child, the @AutisticGirls_ facebook page has some helpful discussions related to this, and you can seek advice.

This book by @robyn_steward, 'The Autism-Friendly Guide to Periods' is amazing. I wish I had this book when I was younger. It's for people aged 9+, with advice on sensory issues, managing hygiene and pain and step by step photo guides on using different period products.

[Alt text: An image of the book cover of "The Autism-Friendly Guide to Periods". The book is coloured dark grey, with several blue circles dotted around the title. In the blue circles are various cartoonishly drawn woman of different ethnicities and looks all smiling. The book title is centered on the page in a pale blue font. The aurthor's name, Robyn Steward, is dark blue on a white background, with a small cartoonish UFO over the first letter R.]

Transcription continues: Sources:

https://ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6223765/ https://metro.co.uk/2019/03/30/periods-can-be-overwhelming-if-you-have-autism-so-ive-created-a-step-by-step-guide-8857085/ https://autism.org/early-puberty-a-common-finding-in-girls-with-asd/ https://autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/menstruation https://menstrual-matters.com/autism/

So maybe this is old news to everyone else, but it literally blew my mind yesterday when Troll recommended I read this.

I knew my periods affected my CFS/ME, sure, but my autism? I literally NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED THAT and holy crap. It makes so much sense suddenly.

[whereconfusionisarhyme]

First Reactions To Logan’s Playlist

K first song let’s do this

White and Nerdy-Weird Al Yankovic

Wtf this song was definitely Joan’s idea I mean who else would think of ‘White and Nerdy’ for Logan

Is this like canon he listens to this stuff or like songs about him???

Not Perfect-Tim Minchin

TIM MINCHIN

Bo Burnham better be on Logan's playlist

#deep

Is this about the mindpalace/inside of Thomas’ head??? Cause like???? Ouch???? I think????

Lol nvm it’s not sad lmao

I take back my take back it is sad

So this could be literally “in his mind” or it could be figurative and it’s really messing with my funky flow

Streaks-ANIMA!

Cool instrumental

Love the voice sounds a little like MARINA and Regina Spektor

Oh no I’m two lines in and I can tell it’s gonna be sad

OH NO CONFORMITY RELATED ANGST AHHHHH

Wow Logan is just out here being relatable isn’t he smh 😔👊

"Cause you're a smart kid, but you're still a kid" LOGAN REALLY BE OUT HERE BEING RELATABLE ON MAIN

The Elements-Tom Lehrer

Sounds like what piano class would sound like if I took piano class

Something you would listen to in science class

Bop

Medicine-STRFCKR

A Fever You Can't Sweat Out vibes

Lmao nvm

Gonna go look up the lyrics rn brb

A sad bop

Philosophy cool

Human-Tank And The Bangas

Logan playing this to comfort himself because this singer is the only person who has ever told him this

WHO HURT LOGAN WITH THEIR WORDS

LOGAN THE HEART SKIPPING COMMENT ARE YOU OKAY IM GIVING YOU A HUG

GUYS LOGAN IS TRYING TO CONVINCE HIMSELF THAT HE MATTERS IM NOT OKAY

Last???? Relationship???

Okay I'm not a shipper BUT my theorist analysis obsessed brain is just SCREAMING about Roman and Patton

Observation: Logan is probably atheistic and this song covers God a lot. I don't have a conclusion or anything just pointing that out

This woman do be calming tho like yes I'm beautiful yes I'm special thank you

Okay so I already knew Logan wasn't okay but he 100% isn't okay

Fittet Happier-Radiohead

K two words in and I can tell this is gonna be sad here we go

Employees? Or maybe…other sides?

Minor key ok

SELF HARM ISNT OKAY

"WILL NOT CRY IN PUBLIC" NONONONO

So I heard of a good therapist just downtown-

The Watchtower-The Dø

I paused it cause I need a second after the last one

Guys as someone who dissosiates a lot I think Logan might be dissosiating

Dissosiating to protect himself from his emotions

Y'all just trust me in this one

Coming for the TØP brand I see

K ready to start again here we go

Fire beat I'm vibing with it

Is he trying to distance himself from his emotions to try and perform his tasks better like watching from a Watchtower???

This is the first character I've seen that might dissosiate which only means one thing

I'm gonna be projecting an unholy amount in my fanfiction

"No one in particular" hon who hurt you

City Lights=Emotions (which he considers distractions)??? Maybe??

I'm a William Finn fan come on this isn't my first rodeo

Art Is Dead-Bo Burnham

BO BURNHAM I WAS RIGHT

We all love some good Imposter Syndrome (tm)! :D

This gives Learning New Things About Ourselves' a whole new meaning

Ngl this is the first time I heard the degrading of the piano at the end and I'm here for it

In My Mind-Amanda Palmer

Oop we LOVE setting up impossible expectations for yourself to the point you have a cripplingly horrid self esteem! :D

Logan I've done this before and trust me it isn't worth it the mental breakdowns are too taxing

I'll do it when I'm older=I'm never gonna get around to it

I don't wanna be the person I wanna be either

Why do I perfectly understand every lyric am I ok

Live!!! While you!!!! Can!!!!

At least there's a happy ending

Okay so I've decided that once I'm done I'm gonna make a list of songs I think would fit in the playlist

Algorythym-Childish Gambino

K its spelled incorrectly get ready for some metaphors my dudes

Intro is cool definitely very very Logan WOAH OKAY CHAIN SMOKER

Gonna go look up lyrics I don't understand shit

The chorus sounds like Thanksgiving at my Aunt's house where like 100+ African American relatives blast house music and dance until their feet falls off

Nvm no it doesn't

GO OFF

ELPHABA BETTER WATCH OUT CHILDISH GAMBINO IS COMING FOR YOUR BELT

Adlibs are everything

Letter C-Zach Sherwin

This gives off the same vibes as that one pickle video by Charlie Puth

Roman vs Logan rap battle but it's this

I don't really see why this is related but sure

Time Adventure-The Marcus Hedgehog

Nostalgiaaaaaa

Okay Logan has too many songs talking about one (1) person who is it

I have a gut feeling that it's about Thomas and how Logan used to be enough "back then" but now he thinks he's not cause like let's be honest when was the last time someone gave Logan a strong sincere thank you for all that he does????Excluding DWIT (which doesn't really count in my opinion cause they said he was cool, not like an integral and arguably the most important and powerful side) nobody really appreciates Logan???? Hugs???

Anyway plz ignore this is just how my brain works

K next song

The Breach-clipping.

OKAY SLOW DOWN IM GONNA LOOK UP LYRICS

Is this Daveed Diggs???? I haven't listened to Hamilton in like forever is this Daveed Diggs???

LITERALLY PERFECY PARRALLEL TO LOGAN AND THE SIDES

Sound effects

Really just gonna fry my eardrums like that huh

What I Do For U-Ra Ra Riot

Okay scrap anything and everything I said about it being the sides Logan is 100% talking about Character!Thomas

Erase Me-Ben Folds Five

Ooh this intro reminds me of this one particular musical songs but I don't remember which one

Wait have I listened to this before????

I've listened to this before!

Okay I need to stop being distracted

NOOOOOO don't Erase Yourself!!!!

Logan really just do be having no Self Esteem don't he

Okay so theory: Logan didn't pop up in person in the last video because his eyes were too red from crying

I have 0 evidence so it's not a very good theory but…

Just throwing it out there

One More Time with Feeling-Regina Spektor

Oh no it's Regina Spektor

Oh no I'm gonna cry

Okay so Logan doesnt wanna block of all emotion, only permit some to show???? But most of the time block everything????

Did I get that???

Nobody!!!! Thanks!!!! Logan!!!!

Awww he just wants love and recognition

Tbh this sounds a lot like Roman they have so much in common despite their constant arguing

Galaxy Song-Monty Python

Ooh Monty Python

I haven't listened to Monty Python so I sadly don't know the context

Really just dissing all of the other sides aren't we

Can't really blame him tho

Very scientific

"Yeau~"

Sweet with dark undertones. Love it.

Equation-Hans Zimmer

Later I'm gonna check the equations if they're correct XD

Sunrise-In The Heights

!!!!!!

WHO???!!!!!

K to this is one of my favorite love songs ever it's just so sweet and as someone who's bilingual the concept is just amazingly wonderful so yeah I may be freaking out

Also because WHO??!!

Okay I said I wasn't a shipper but let's be honest this is probably about Roman not romantically but like

OR MAYBE JANUS???

IM SO CONFUSED

But Logan is definitely Nina in this situation it just fits so well with her character for the same reasons I really wanna play her (but never will cause I'm exactly 0% Latin American smh) yeah the pressures to be the smartest and then it backfiring horribly and oh God what if Inùtil is also in the playlist ahhhh

Okay moving on

Lifeboat-Heathers

WHAT

NO

NO

CONFORMITY RELATED ANGST LOGAN STOP BEING RELATABLE AHHHH

IS THIS CAPTAIN THOMAS??? THE OTHER SIDES AS A WHOLE??? AN ABSTRACT CONCEPT???

IM NOT OKAY

Bohemian Groove-Will Connolly

Okay I'm still not recovered from the last song but I need to continue or else I'm never gonna finish this playlist

Eeecccchhhhhoooo

Your friends haven't surpassed you Logan you belong with them okay????

Emptiness despite success??? Millennial who???

Vibing with it but also are you okay

Nvm I know the answer already

Hug All Ur Friends-Cavetown

Okay so Logan is a Cavetown gay noted

Self validation??? Who's she???

Lies. You care so much about what other people *sides* think about you

Maybe Logan listens to this song to remind himself to not care too much

But it doesn't work and it's getting to him more and more

Oh

That took a turn

Breathin'-Thomas Sanders

Good move

Don't really have much to say on this

The Bidding

Spoopy

Alchoholic!Logan

New idea for us fan writers

The pronunciation of beurgoise

Okay I'm like pretty certain at this point that all of the songs that mention a someone else is about Character!Thomas

A Better Version

OHMYGOD I LOVE THIS MUSICAL ITS SO UNDERRATED I HAVE LISTENED TO THE SOUNDTRACK AND UNGODLY AMOUNT OF TIMES YESSSSS

But also since I know the song in terrified cause the feels are gonna come in I just know it

Wait so is Jayce supposed to be Thomas???

I am suddenly feeling much more uncertain about my certainty

Okay let me unpause and just listen to it (even though I already know all of the lyrics)

Okay so I'm a dumbass and apparently this song isn't even part of the playlist

Okay so I'm an idiot and the last few songs have all been "related to playlist" and not in the actual playlist I'm big dumb.

Anyway here's my list of songs I think would fit. (BTW, I only went off of lyrics for these ones. I realize that there’s a general sound and vibe for the playlist, but I decided not to follow it.)

Oh No! ~ MARINA

Hug All Ur Friends ~ Cavetown

Bohemian Groove ~ Will Connolly

Guiltless ~ Dodie Clark

Lifeboat ~ Laurens O’Keefe

The Bidding ~ *idk who*

I Am Not A Robot ~ MARINA

Inútil - Lin Manuel Miranda

Through The Eyes Of A Child ~ AURORA

Community Gardens ~ The Scary Jokes

Let me know if I should do this with the other playlists as well! :)

[spookysanta]

miss you. (g.d.)

part i of ii.

Summary: long distance relationships suck; but especially for (Y/N) and Grayson.

Pairing: Grayson Dolan x Reader

WARNINGS: mentions of sex (not yet), angst??????????????????????????, fluff, bad writing

UNEDITED

YUH look at me on a writing streak :) and let’s all reminisce on fetus baby boy by these precious “date” snaps:

(@trapezoidmouth on IG)

***THIS TAKES PLACE AROUND APRIL/MAY***

i only mention that bc it’s talking about graduation and it’s july so i didn’t want people to make a big deal about it

***

"So," she told him with a big sigh on the phone when she got home from class. "I did my presentation today."

"Oh, really?" he replied, while cooking himself an omelette. It was three o'clock her time and noon in Los Angeles, where he was; so it was brunch time. "How'd it go?"

"It..was awful." She tried to force herself not to cry, because when she cries, Grayson is quick to get up and go wherever she was to comfort her. Which might be good in the moment, but she doesn't want to do that to him (anymore--this would've been the fourth time he'd done that). "Gray, I did everything my teacher told me to! I added the information I needed to, took out some stuff, and I even memorized everything! But when I got up there...I couldn't do it."

"What was your topic again?"

She recited her research question as if it were read out of a book. "How listening to music during pregnancy helps a baby's development in the womb."

"Really? That doesn't sound hard at all."

"It wasn't that my topic was hard, it was that the questions I got asked were too hard for me to answer, and how I answered questions was a big portion of my grade." she was getting a little misty-eyed. She'd been working on this project for months; she thought she'd learned just about everything there is to know about music's effects on child development. "Gray, I really thought I had it until then."

"Listen, baby. Regardless of how you think it went, I'm sure you did better. Because I've heard your presentation and you sounded like you knew exactly what you were talking about. I think it's all in your head, angel." He sighed, flipping his omelette in the pan. He liked omelettes when she made them for him when she visited, because she knew exactly what he wanted, how much of each ingredient to add, and she makes sure they're always cheesy and delicious. But when he makes them, sometimes they're a little...underdone.

"I can't focus." she put him on speakerphone and took off her top, pants, and bra, opting to wear one of his t-shirts for comfort. She has a few of them, but her favorite one to wear is the black crew neck. It's plain and simple, and it fits him like a god. But she managed to take it when she left L.A. the last time; and honestly, she took a little vile of his cologne, too, to spray on the shirt after she washes it. "It's so close to graduation, baby, and I know you're gonna call me a loser for saying this, but I can't do this anymore. I want to drop out." she groaned.

"You're a loser either way, in my opinion." he heard her laugh on the other end of the phone. And that laugh was like air to his lungs, if he's being completely honest with himself. He hadn't heard that angelic laugh in months. The last time they'd been together was when she visited him the last few days of her Winter Break--and that was in January. "But you literally graduate in a month. Shut up."

"Okaaaaaaaaaaaay." she groaned again. What she wouldn't give for his bone-crushing cuddles right about now. That's all she wants. She'd been feeling weepy and anxious and a bit sad all day, but now that she's talking to her man, she's starting to feel the heavy weight of her stress lift. "I miss you." she confessed. "I know we agreed that we wouldn't get all sappy like this but I'm wearing your shirt right now and all I smell is you."

“I miss you, too.”

She heard noise on the other end and nearly vomited at the sound. "Move your mouth away from the receiver, Gray. I can hear you chewing."

He chewed louder, his mouth hovering over the phone's microphone. "Like this?"

She hung up the phone.

***

He called her again later, at around four o'clock his time. He and his brother were outside and he was about to grill some steaks for dinner. "Hello?" he greeted into the receiver. "Baby?"

"Hey." she groggily replied. She'd fallen asleep while talking to her best friend on FaceTime and she woke up about five minutes ago. "What's up, boo?"

"Just checkin' on you. I wanted to make sure you're in better spirits than earlier."

"Yeah, I'm fine." She sat up and stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen , finding a box of Kraft mac and cheese in the pantry to cook. "I'm just glad everything’s over with."

"I understand. I just don't want you to be all sad and mopey."

"I'm not sad and mopey only because of my presentation, I'm sad and mopey because I miss my boyfriend." she sighed. "I really don't think I can wait until my birthday to see you."

"So what do you want me to do? You want me to come there, or fly you out here?"

"It doesn't matter, honestly. I just want to see you." she stirred some salt in the pot of boiling water, then poured the noodles into the pot, turning down the heat, and shutting the lid. "Doesn't even have to be long. I just want cuddles and kisses."

"I'd be glad to give you that, and you know I would come and see you right now if I could, but I can't right now. We're filming all week this week and both of us need to be here for it."

"I'm dying without my fuckin' cuddles, man." she drained the pasta, hissing to herself when a little bit of water got on her brown hand. She cursed quietly, already assuming that Grayson knew she'd injured herself somehow--as she usually does. She put the pasta back in the pot and added butter, almond milk, and the powdered cheese, stirring it and letting it cool a bit before pouring it in a bowl next to the stove. "I wanna see your pretty face." she spoke, holding the phone to her ear and with her bowl in one hand and a bottle of sparkling water in the other.

"Hold on a second." she heard shuffling on the other end of the phone. He was making a space on his desk for his phone to sit on, but she already knew that that'd been what he was up to, because his desk is constantly cluttered with papers, receipts, pens and pencils, etc. His desk was riddled with stuff. She heard the quiet his of "ah dammit", and then she finally saw it. That gorgeous grin that makes his hazel eyes crinkle in the outer corners. "Hi, honey."

And as happy as she'd typically be to see his face on FaceTime, all she did was sob. "Hey." She grabbed her food and her drink and with cloudy vision, she guided herself to the couch to eat.

His face fell. "What's wrong? Did I catch at a bad time?"

"No." She sniffled. God, she was so emotional today. "I just...I want you."

"Oh, babe. I wish there was something I could do about that but right now my hands are completely tied."

"I just want cuddles and kisses and hugs! And I want to wear that new shirt you just bought because it looks comfy and I bet it smells good."

"Baby I promise—hold out a little bit longer and you can have whatever it is you want." He paused. "Except for that shirt.”

"Why?" She whined.

"Because I bought that shirt last week. It's still new."

"So? I want it."

"You can have every other shirt except that one. At least not for a while."

"Ugh!" She groaned. "You're the worst."

"I've been told."

She looked away from her phone that was propped up on a pillow and turned on the television, turning to a DVR recording of Botched and settling into the couch, fully accepting the fact that she had to cuddle with the pillows next to her instead of her boo. She picked up her fork, sadly poking the orange-dyed macaroni noodles and putting them in her mouth. "I don't want this anymore." She muttered to herself, catching the attention of the boy on the other end of the phone, who'd only just found something to do on his laptop to distract himself from looking at her tear-stained face.

Because if he did, he'd be at her every beck and call and give her exactly what she wanted. And he was a busy guy; he didn't have time to fly across the country to snuggle her like he has the slight habit of doing.

As much as he craved her—her body, her mind, her laugh, her smell (God, the way she smells? Absolutely intoxicating. He finds himself thinking of the inticing scent on the days when he misses her the most, and it's almost as if she infiltrates his nostrils. Ergo, causing him to miss her 1000x more.)—he cannot leave Los Angeles for at least the next week. If he leaves, then that means Ethan would be left with editing their upcoming video's footage, and that's the last thing he needs right now.

"Why not? When we texted earlier, you said you were hungry."

"Yeah. I was. But now...I don't know." She shrugged. She stopped the recording on the TV, picking her bowl back up and setting it in the microwave for if she wanted it later. Then, she trudged her way back upstairs and got in her bed. She sighed, feeling the lump in her throat form again.

[juicemitio]

Alright I went to Louisville Galaxycon and saw Travis and Clint twice, for their worldbuilding workshop and their Q&A. Here's some interesting stuff I learned (I didn't include stuff they talked about that's pretty common knowledge or they talked about on the last ttazz)

Graduation 

Fitzroy was originally going to be a jock that was weak bc he no longer had a team, Travis told Griffin that that didn't really work for the world so they reframed it as him training to be a hero, was great academically and behaviorally, but had a problem no one had seen before and no one felt like dealing with. It specifically wasn't "barbarian fails bc he can't keep his rage in check," it was that no one was willing to deal with his magic so they shipped him off

Someone asked Travis to explain fitzroy's magic, so from the DM's mouth- he's a barbarian subtype with elemental magic which has a random effect while raging, which we haven't seen yet (path of the wild soul if you want to look it up and see what he can do) and he took a feat which gives him the ability to cast 3 cantrips of his choosing. What I thought was interesting was that Travis described Fitz's magic using the word "elemental" twice, even though that isn't specifically stated in the path of the wild soul entry

Travis knows Argo's secret and is very excited about it 

Clint has a pirate fiction book he reads every night before they record to get into the headspace to play Argo, he told us the name but I forgot it 

There is one small little concept that made the whole of graduation make sense to Travis and is what the arc will be about, and he only figured it out a few days before recording. Obviously he didn't tell us what it was

Originally it was going to start with everyone starting at age 11 and slowly killing the other kids off, but Justin didn't feel comfortable playing a game surrounded by kids dying 

The accounting scene is already one of Travis' all time favorite taz scenes

The pegasus scene informed Travis on exactly how he was going to treat the firbolg

Also Travis referred to Justin's character exclusively as "the firbolg," which means "master firbolg" is solely a thing going on with the npcs in the game which I find hilarious. They just all decided to give him a dope title bc he deserves it, meanwhile no one will call Fitzroy "sir"

To Fitzroy, social threats are an extremely real and serious thing, like the Biggest thing to him (we were talking about what characters found threatening in the workshop, for context)  

There's some big concept/idea that comes up in the next episode that travis almost let spill and had to quickly stop himself from saying it

Someone mentioned eating breakfast in their question in the workshop and Travis goofed on it for a second, then said "cereal world" suddenly, and Clint had to pick up the question bc Travis had to take a second to make a note of it in his phone 

Travis started brainstorming graduation in March and they recorded the first episode in October, and his main job in that time was working on graduation 

Before Buckminster was adapted for graduation he could not fight at all, if he got into a fight he would die, he poured everything into charisma and could talk his way out of any fight (even the big bad of the game he crit 20d his check and the big bad walked away from the fight) 

Travis is really into psychology and how if you assign a label to someone they're going to act more like it (ie you tell a kid they're amazing and smart and talented and they become more like that, you tell a kid they're annoying and dumb and a problem they become more like that), and how that was a major contributor to play into hero/villain/sidekick/henchperson dynamics, you get assigned this arbitrary title of good/evil/subservient and you become like that to fit the role, and then the inevitable pushing against that mold

Travis is fully aware of his story being compared to harry potter and he doesn't care bc it's apt (people in a school arbitrarily divided into four groups and one of them is the Bad One), also he knows people describe it as "sky high meets Harry Potter meets my hero academia" and he actually finds that really flattering bc he thinks that sounds cool and like something he'd want to watch 

On that note, Travis is a self-identified Slytherin and he's always upheld that the reason Slytherin is depicted in a bad light is bc Rowling decided she didn't like them, and he's always sympathized with the idea of a first year Slytherin working their ass off following the rules and doing their work and getting points, and Dumbledore rewards three idiots for breaking like every rule and pulls the trophy away from you. This was a big inspiration for graduation, of one group getting a bad rep and being portrayed as evil for literally no reason 

Amnesty

Clint & Travis's favorite scene they've ever done together was Ned & Aubrey's final scene together 

Aubrey and Dani do move in with each other at the end of amnesty

Balance

Travis' main emotion around taz is pride and he's most proud of the scene in stolen century with the spirits in the robots, bc they had to record it a second time bc it got way too dark and ended in a really grim way and about 20 min after they finished they all decided that they weren't happy with it, that it didn't fit the tone, he's really proud they didn't just leave it be and they took the second pass at it to make it right

I'm pretty sure he's talked about wanting to kill Magnus off at the beginning before but he mentioned that it was only at the end of petals to the metal he actually realized he wanted Magnus to live, bc Hurley had to sacrifice herself to save Magnus bc Magnus had been so reckless, that hit Travis really hard. Travis realized that Magnus' recklessness was getting people hurt and so Magnus did too, so Magnus become a bit more cautious and took up rogue training to try not to get anyone killed again 

Dust

Dust wasn't designed to be anything more than a one off and the workload was completely unsustainable, the document of notes for dust was about 100 pages and only about 10% of it got used

The reason Travis loved it so much was bc it was a mystery and he found it really fun

Commitment

Clint would love to revisit commitment, but probably not in podcast form bc he didn't find himself really being in the moment as much bc of all the different things he had to keep track of, he'd like to see a comic adaptation/continuation if possible

It was based of a comic he wrote that never got published bc the company producing it failed (he still cashed his paycheck) so he reused it bc he still liked it a lot, it was about how America was founded as a monarchy instead of a democracy and what that changed in the usa's (united sovereignty of america's) history, and how people now were fighting to establish a democracy. Also there were cowboys and spaceships and other cool stuff he put in there bc he liked it

General adventure zone

The reason why they're are able to do romantic relationships w/o being weirded out by it (they joke about it but they don't actually care) is bc it's never done in an explicit or sexual way and since it's the decision the characters would make to pursue the relationship then that's the decision they make. He reframed it as it wouldn't be weird if a family were writing a script together and there was a romance and one person wrote lines for one character and the other wrote lines for the other. He did mention that two siblings playing characters in a relationship as actors on screen wouldn't be cool though

They sometimes get comments that some of the stuff they do is "fanservice," but they feel that they owe their success to their fans and they owe some to them 

They are both aware of and proud that Justin is the best at character creation, Clint specifically really was talking about how Justin's strong suit is definitely character creation and characterization

General mcelroy stuff

They walked pretty close to me when they entered the stage room for the q&a and like… they're short, like shorter than you think

Travis referred to his unborn child as "baby dod" (I'm not 100% certain but I'm pretty sure) which I looked up and is a nickname for George, and given with their older kid being named Barbera and nicknamed BeBe and Travis talking before about how he and his wife like classic names with cool nicknames it makes sense

Travis had an earing in his right ear, I didn't get to see his left ear and I couldn't tell if it was an actual piercing or a fake, it looked really good though. Also his tinted glasses look a lot cooler irl than they do in pictures

Clint told the teenage mutant Ninja turtle story with the signatures that griffin told on mbmbam, but Clint remembered it as happening at King's Island, not Disney. This story was prompted by the question of the biggest lie he ever told his kids, and he only came clean about this a few months ago

Travis told a story about how he finished a videogame when he was younger and was so excited that he picked up a plastic knife, yelled "throwing knife!" threw it directly at Griffin who dodged it and it hit and shattered a window

[scripttorture]

(1) i'm writing a story about a kid (under 13, havent decided exactly how young), who undergoes a horrible though mostly unintended period of psychological torture, set in northern Russia in the 13th-14th century. They're the youngest child of the local Lord, and their town gets invaded. Once the dust has settled, their family is brought up on a stage and all the commoners and servants are made to watch in silence as the family is tortured via slow dismemberment, then killed.

(2) The child is basically in a position where they have to serve the people that did this and maintain their disguise, or they will have the same done to them. At one point they are accused of theft and are given the punishment of that time and place- cutting off a finger. Beyond that there's no direct, intentional physical harm done to them. After several years, the invading force leaves and it becomes safe for the surviving child to come out of hiding.(3) What sort of effects could i expect them to have after the torture and trauma? Currently I have them as being so afraid of speaking giving away their identity that they've gotten selective muteness, and once it becomes safe to come out of hiding giving up their former title due to fear of becoming a target. I'm looking for stuff both during the ongoing trauma and afterwards, and i want to do it justice!

Thisall sounds possible.

Idon’t know anything about Russia during that period so I can’tcomment on whether these particular attacks fit the place and period.

Ialso don’t know much about childhood development. The majority ofthe accounts I have are from adults. And while the same symptomseffect children and adults the expression of those symptoms can bedifferent.

ScriptTraumaSurvivorshas a post here on age appropriate expression of trauma symptoms.

GenerallyI tend to stress that witnessing traumatic events doesn’t alwayscause trauma symptoms, but given all the other circumstancessurrounding this I think you’re right, it’s highly likely thischaracter would be extremely traumatised. They’ve lost theirfamily, witnessed horrible things and lived for years in a constantstate of fear and threat. Long term psychological effects areextremely likely.

I’dsuggest you don’t refer to that as psychological torture becausewell- that’s a phrase a lot of torture apologists tend to use torefer to things like starvation, sleep deprivation and stresspositions, which leave no obvious external scars but do cause a lotof physical damage. It’s a phrase that tends to get used to dismissor belittle physical tortures by implying they’re ‘only’psychological.

Iunderstand why that’s the phrase you reached for here though and Idon’t think you’re downplaying what the character goes through.Just- be aware of how that phrase is often used.

Iget asked about muteness or refusing to talk sporadically. Thereisn’t really a way to purposefully inflict it and from everythingI’ve read it seems to be a rare symptom. But you do occasionallyget survivors who stop talking for a period of time. And the wayyou’re describing this it seems as though you’re treating hisrefusal to talk is part of an underlying set of symptoms rather thanthe symptom itself. Which I think works.

I’malso getting the impression that you approach writing symptoms quitedifferently to the way I do. There’s absolutely nothing wrong withthat: we all have different ways of writing and I honestly think themost unhelpful writing advice is the sort which sets out to changehow someone writes.

Rightnow you’ve got a set of behaviours but not necessarily an explicitset of symptoms.

Nowyou don’t necessarily needto come up with an explicit set of symptoms to do this justice, butit might help guide you through how the character’s mental healthproblems change with time.

Atthe moment it sounds as though the main mental illness you’reportraying is anxiety (though you could possibly also write whatyou’re describing as hypervigilance or depression). That in turn isleading to social isolation as the character avoids or cuts himselfoff from other people.

Ithink that’s a pretty good starting point. The symptoms have beentied to both the character and each other in a way that feelsnatural.

Myinstinct is that given everything going on here another underlyingmental health problem might be a good idea. Given the character’sage, the setting and the other symptoms I think insomnia, learningdifficulties or memory problems could all work well.

Insomniaexacerbates pre-existing mental health problems and you could usenightmares as a way of tying this to the other symptoms.

Learningdifficulties would probably be a little more subtle as they might bedismissed as inexperience or a product of the character’s age butthat subtlety could also make them easy to work into the story. Theother symptoms clearly establish that the character hasserious long term symptoms and that means you have space to includeless ‘obvious’ ones.

Irecommend memory problems pretty often because they’re incrediblycommon in real life but rarely depicted well in fiction. They’realso often not acknowledged in the real world, despite having amassive impact on survivors’ lives.

I’vegot a Masterpost on the most common types and how they work here.

Giventhe story you’re telling I don’t think memory loss orinaccurate/false memories would be a good fit.

Butforgetfulness might well be: the character could easily use that asanother ‘reason’ why he ‘has’ to step down, believing himselfto be incapable or unsuitable. Intrusive memories could also be avery good fit and could feed in to his other symptoms. Writing wisethere’s the ‘danger’ of including too many flash backs toparticular awful moments, robbing these moments of their power. Butthis can be overcome quite easily by stressing the feelings thememory evokes rather than the details of the moment in itself.

Loopingback to the main part of the question- The ‘right’ way to handleany of this going forward is going to depend on the story.

Whilethe character is still in danger there may well be worse moments andbetter moments but he’s not going to make any real progress towardshealing while he’s still effectively a prisoner. This doesn’tnecessarily mean his symptoms will be constantly getting worse. Itwould be perfectly normal for them to reach a point and plateau.

Recoveryafterwards isn’t something survivors do in isolation. He’d need asupport network which he currently doesn’t seem to have. That couldmean that part of his recovery process is buildingtrusting and healthy relationships with others.

Giventhe time period and place the church could play quite a large role inhis recovery. Priests, monks, nuns (and anchoresses but I’m unsureif Russia had them) all played roles in communal mental health. NowI’m sure the quality of this help varied widely from place to placeand person to person but there’s nothing wrong with you choosingthat your character has access to better quality help.

Hislack of support network means that recovery would take longer andthere’d probably be a period where he’s at quite high risk ofharm. That doesn’t necessarily mean attack by others or self harm.Severe mental illnesses can make it difficult for a person to takecare of themselves.

Forinstance he might have days when he’d rather go hungry or cold thengo out among other people and get food or firewood. That’s the kindof time when having a support network is a huge material help.Linking back to the church idea I think it could be plausible to havelocal religious figures attempt to help in this kind of practicalway, leaving food or firewood. Other characters close to the survivorcould also fill this kind of role.

Recoveryis slow and it is rarely linear. Even if someone is generally gettingbetter they can still have incredibly bad days or weeks.

Andas people recover they often find that aspects of their mentalillness seem to change. For instance if someone has severe depressionit’s not uncommon for them to start feeling more anxious/overemotional as the depression eases.

That’spart of why I think trying to figure out the underlying illnessbehind these behaviours is helpful. It can give you an idea of how tohave those behaviours change in ways that are organic and realistic.

Goingwith the idea that the character’s major illness is anxiety- Thephysical symptoms can include shaking, nausea, heart palpitations,chest pain and generally feeling like you’re having an adrenalinerush most of the time.

Somepeople have speech difficulties when they’re having an anxietyattack. That can include difficulty taking in what people are sayingand difficulty communicating clearly (though it doesn’t stopspeech). Things like repeating the same short answer a couple oftimes. Sometimes it means giving a reflexive ‘answer that will getrid of the person’ rather than an accurate answer.

Anxietycan drive people to withdraw from others, especially if their anxietyis triggered by others. Things like stepping away from people duringconversation and struggling with crowds or confined spaces canhappen.

Itcan also be difficult to sleep, which in turn makes other symptomsworse.

Depressioncan make people feel tired all the time, while also making itdifficult to fall asleep or sleep well. It can make eating difficult.It tends to mute sensation and can leave people feeling numb.

Itcan get in the way of positive interaction with other people indifferent ways. One of the things I hear people describing most oftenis difficulty engaging. When all of someone’s emotional energy isgoing on holding themselves together sparing some for other people isincredibly difficult.

Ihave a post about solitary confinement that may help you get a graspon the effects of isolation. Keep in mind that solitaryconfinement is much more extreme then the vast majority of cases ofsocial isolation. The effects on your character probably wouldn’tbe this bad. But it could help give you an idea of the way this kindof isolation effects people and how it feels.

Itend to approach recovery quite organically. For me it’s anextension of both the character and their symptoms- the logicalconclusion of the situation the story posits. But that’s because Itend to write symptoms in a way that’s very rooted in the characterand I tend to write very instinctually.

Ifyou’ve got a more analytical approach then breaking symptoms downmight help.

Onceyou know what conditions the character has (rather than just thebehaviours) you can start to tie those behaviours to particularaspects of his mental illnesses. That in turn helps you figure outhow he might recover.

Let’stake his difficulty speaking for a moment and assume that the rootcause of that is anxiety. He probably knows that ‘fear’ is thecause of this. He probably feels less afraid on a daily basis afterthe invading force leaves. And that could lead to him finding it alittle easier to speak again.

Buthe might not understand why he keeps getting chest pains. Or why hefeels ‘afraid’ when in a crowd of people he knows are ‘harmless’.

Ifhe, and everyone else, focused on the biggested most obviousbehavioural problems he had then there’s likely a lot of thingsthat slipped under the radar. That were too small to comment on atthe time or that everyone assumed would stop when the invaders left.This can be a pretty effective way to approach how symptoms canchange and how it can catch a character off guard.

Anotherapproach is thinking about what a character currently can’tdo and when in the story they needto do that particular thing. Then think about what needs to change,environmentally or emotionally, for the character to be capable ofthat action.

Sometimesyou can only really get them half-way there and then find yourselfputting together a creative work-around. That’s OK. That can add toa story and be an interesting break from typical tropes.

Recoveryis a slow process of learning to deal with symptoms in healthierways. And incidentally virtually every mentally ill person I’veknown has had moments of expressing things like ‘But I should beover this’ ‘But I should be able to deal with this’ ‘But Ishould be better by now’.

Fromthe sounds of things you’ve put a lot of thought into both thecharacter and that process already. You are doing a good job. Keep atit and I think you’ll have an excellent story.

Ihope this helps. :)

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