#but this is no 50/50 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jerzwriter · 7 months

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Hey there, so I am just a choices-adjacent lurker, and I've been following the Elsa/Jared drama for some time now. I don't know either of you personally. And from what I've seen, I have come to the conclusion that this situation is solidly an Every Sucks Here situation. Maybe this is not my place to say, but honestly for everyone's sake involved in the fandom, Jared complaining about you on their blog daily and you ignoring and/or vaguing lim is honestly not productive. So here's my take on things. (I am sending a slightly tailored version of this to Jared as well)

JARED: Elsa is not walking evil. In fact, she does a ton of work for this fandom for free. "Who let her have this power over our fandom by running the fic account" no one did. She saw something she could do to help the fandom, and she did it. If she wasn't doing it, then we wouldn't have a choicesficcreations blog and there would be no fic archive. She certainly spends UNPAID hours every single week curating fic lists, going through tags, and organizing fandom fics to encourage people to keep producing. Constantly complaining about her and how horrible she is isn't helping anyone, it will just make her angrier at you and even less likely to listen to your grievances. Yes, the Open Heart fandom is extremely active and yeah, it's mostly cishet MCs, but that doesn't make anyone "evil" if they're creating that way. It's probably mostly cishet players who are projecting onto their MCs so it's enjoyable for them, the same way you want to project onto your characters, and that looks different for everyone. As long as no one is actively sending you anon hate or shitting on you for your character interpretations or ships, then it's okay. They're not evil for not liking or reblogging your trans Ethan art if that's not something they feel drawn to, just like you're not evil for ignoring the twelfth fmc x ethan pregnancy fic of the week. People should create and interact with what makes them feel happy and if you see something you don't like, scroll past. It goes both ways. The truth is that most of the OH art and fics are cishet because that's what most of the active creators are. I don't know how we got here, but that is what it is, and current creators aren't terrible for creating cishet fics and art, and they aren't obligated to like or reblog your takes on the characters. But guess what, you have wonderful friends who enjoy your takes on the characters, so appreciate that. Make art for them, create stories for people in your niche. If anyone attacks you for doing that, they suck. Someone saying on their own blog "I don't ship Ethias" is not attacking you. Someone saying on their own blog "Ethias is incest because they're brothers" is gross and should be called out.

ELSA: Just buckle down and apologize. You hurt someone. Multiple someones, apparently, based on that call-out post. That doesn't make you irredeemable because everyone says and does things that hurt people, even if they have the best of intentions. But acknowledge the fact that if there is a pattern of queer people feeling hurt and unwelcomed by the fandom, and that with your influence in the fandom, you are partially responsible for that unwelcoming atmosphere. Acknowledge the fact that you have a big platform and a ton of followers and friends who love and respect you, and will see what you do and use that to guide their own behavior. You probably didn't send anons off to attack Jared intentionally, but you need to take responsibility for that because your vague-blogging and so forth inspired people to try to defend you, and they attacked someone else on your behalf. Your apology shouldn't be to use them as a scapegoat, like "I NEVER condone anon hate, y'all are terrible and not affiliated with me" it should be, "I don't condone anon hate and think it's wrong, and am so sorry that my thoughtless post emboldened other users to think that using anon hate was a justifiable response to defend me." This is the responsibility that comes with having a big following. I know that you're bi and that's great. That doesn't mean that you have experience with every single facet of the LGBTQIA+ community. You are a bi woman. That does not make you an expert on what's hurtful to a trans person, a gay or bi man, an acespec person, etc. So listen to people when they try to tell you if something was hurtful and apologize. The last thing you should do is double down because when you do, it becomes clear that you care more about how you are perceived and being RIGHT than being kind. And I think that you truly are a kind person who wants to do good and make the world a better place. So basically, take some responsibility for this issue. You're an adult with a platform. Learn, do better, listen, and apologize. And make an active effort to support queer and trans creators who may feel alienated by this fandom at times. With your influence in the fandom, you have the capacity to make this a better place for everyone but that will never happen if you continue to hide behind a mask of "positivity" and believe yourself to be the victim of a smear campaign, without recognizing your role in all of this.

That's all I really had to say. I understand if you don't want to publish this but I really think that if this were AITA the right answer would be ESH. I hope that something I said is helpful and can help set this conflict to rest.

Nonny, I wasn't going to reply because I did not want to give this insanity any oxygen, a space, or a platform. But since line after line was crossed, I had no choice but to do so. So, since I did, I have no reason to not answer you any longer.

Here is my message regarding the things they posted about me that I have seen because, admittedly, I have not seen it all.

If someone stalks your blog for almost a year and pulls at every word you say... they'll find things that are wrong. Trust me, we can look at theirs for 5 min and find PLENTY of things that are wrong. Am I saying I'm perfect? I've never made a mistake? Never said anything stupid? Never had something to learn... or unlearn? No, I am not.

And I am willing to talk to anyone here, not talk, but listen. If I have hurt them, I will have the conversation, and I will apologize, and I will do better. But I will not apologize to people who have been actively bullying me, telling me to KM, telling me to enjoy my s*icide, telling me they wish I would die, and I won't even get into the horrific anons because I cannot prove they came from them - but ironically came in at the same time this other vile shit was posted. Nonny, you cannot think on any planet that acting like that is OK. If I hurt them or anyone else, it was unintentional, and I'm happy to be corrected and learn. That is NOT what has taken place in reverse. They are not the only people in the world with mental health issues; "big blogs" have them, too. (Besides, what's a big blog in a fandom of 10? Trust me, I've gotten much hate because of their intentional posts.)

If you think I'm such a horrible person? Check out the conversation. It's fully posted now.

Do you want me to apologize? I DID with J's freaking seal of approval - it's all in the conversation.

When they decided - without telling me - it was no longer good enough for them - they did not reach out to me like they promised, the public hate campaign was restarted . And that's what it has been, a public hate campaign. Do you think Tumblr gives a shit about me or J? They don't. J's blog was taken down because they violated terms over and over and over again. Should I apologize again, so in a month they change their mind again? And start this shit all over again? Sorry, I gave J a chance. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

Let's not Donald Trump "good people on both sides" this. NO. I did not start this (J admits that in our conversation). I have posted about this ONE FREAKING TIME vs. their hundreds of times. I tried to rectify it, I apologized. If I hurt anyone, it was completely unintentional; theirs is intentional, and anyone with reasonable comprehension skills can see that.

Oh and for the record, I don't fucking "vague". I'm not an asshole. If I post a fucking life quote and someone sees themself in it - that's on them, not me. Because they are NOT posted to target and I posted shit like that long before this bullshit started. I will SAY when I have something to say... I don't play those games.

You're right, I've given a lot to this fandom, but I'm fucking done. I'm not perfect, but I TRY to be kind, welcoming, I try to support and help - and then there is the otherside. All hate vitriol and never being kind to anyone outside of their friends. Like do SOMETHING positive. SOMETHING constructive. This here is no contribution.

Like everyone here, I'm flawed, and I'm imperfect. UNLIKE everyone here, I'm willing to admit my mistakes, I'm willing to learn, and I am NOT FUCKING WILLING to treat people the way this little group has treated me. Want to discuss hurt? Like this shit hasn't been hurtful. And the anons, babe, I won't even share them they're so disgusting.

So me and my 10 active followers are the problem? Come now. Maybe if others tried being decent people, they'd have more followers themselves.

I'm done with this.

Oh, wait, one more thing. Stop with the why don’t you try supporting queer creators. It’s embarrassing for you. Because in addition, being a queer creator myself, I have and I do support queercreators. I have fucking collaborated with queer creators. I created the LGBTQ archive, so it would be easier to find LGBTQIA works. What exactly is it that you would like me to do. If you’re going to accuse me of something accuse me of something I actually did because supporting queer creators is something I do, and that’s very verifiable.

#asks answered #stop the bulshit equivalency #i'm not saying i don't have some fault #but this is no 50/50

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ckerouac · 2 months

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So, I really love the selection of Tim Walz for VP and it’s taken me a moment to articulate why. I mean, obviously, Dem bonafides, he’s sharp, he’s funny, etc etc. But everyone in the Veepstakes fits that bill, Harris was spoiled for good choices.

But Walz offers something that the other men in contention don’t that I think will be incredibly useful in combating Trumpism.

He offers an example and an off ramp to the section of men who felt like they were Republicans by default, and so support Trump by default. There are a lot of Trump voters who are full on obsessive, but that’s not who we’re talking to. We’re talking to folks who grew up in Republican areas, or felt their hobbies didn’t line up with who a Democrat was, or didn’t feel represented by their image of a Democrat. You want to see it so you can be it, you know? Which is why Harris is so inspirational to a lot of segments of folks, but Walz is too.

He served in the military. He went to a state college. He’s your favorite teacher from your public high school. He’s your football coach who actually cared if you were passing your math class. He’s the guy you looked up to at school when your family sucked but this guy cared, and he helped you get out and make something of yourself.

He’s the neighbor who helps you jump your car. He’s your uncle who takes you hunting. He’s your Dad who loves teasing you at the Stare Fair. He’s you when he makes a mistake like his DUI and takes responsibility for it, and when he has the chance makes sure other can come back from similar mistakes. He’s you when you and your wife want so badly to be parents and IVF gives you the family you wanted. He’s you when he says ‘it had to be me’ and used his standing and power to protect vulnerable kids sponsoring the GSA at his school.

He gives the real life example to these men that they can be that football, fishing, hunting family man who wants to provide for his family, be that powerful, respected member of the community and use that power to feed kids in school. That it’s normal to enthusiastically work for a boss like Harris. That yeah those other guys are fucking weirdos, and you’re not a weirdo, are you?

That there’s a place in the Democratic Party for them. That they don’t have to default to being fucking weird.

I hope those guys see this example of masculinity and go… yeah, that’s me. That’s who I’m gonna be.

#us politics #tim walz #I think Harris made an excellent selection #who will support her and her agenda #and gives us some non-law school and non-Ivy rep that’s desperately needed #but his brand of masculinity I think is gonna be attractive to white men who don’t like being grouped with weirdos #and white women in their 50s & 60s who look at him and see their Dad whome they miss #Harris chose well

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