#but to me it looked like someone went and got their romantic interest drunk to get a kiss the interest might not have been ready for

[5-htreuptakeinhibitor]

i dont know how to connect these pieces together, except for something regarding how the characterization is done, but venture bros, homestuck, utena, house, some others i cant think of rn... something about the way the characters interact and build in these captivates me. the complexities, the almost... impromptu way these characters develop so naturally, and i think it comes from different places in most of these though homestuck and venture bros probably holds the most similarity in terms of expertly utilizing retroactive foreshadowing to create beautiful and complex character relationships. house feels like it moreso... accidentally happens upon great and logical character development lol. i usually wonder if im reading too far into it when i watch particularly great moments. and utena's characters feel so 3d because they really are-- the sheer amount of different utena stories that adds and expands and also contracts on different aspects of each character ends up building a very 3d and symbolic picture in the mind.

[heavencanbeaprisontoo]

Hello! May I request a headcanon for how Tommy Shelby would pine/crush over a reader maybe one who has rejected him in the past because she worked for him or because she wants to keep their relationship as friends/professional! (Since you’re writing you can make the scenario as to why she said no whatever you like) but truly i’d just love to see a headcanon on him falling in love and longing for someone who he can’t have so easily :)

Imagine Rejecting: Thomas Shelby

Tommy x fem!reader

Trope: Right person, wrong time. Warnings: Angst, pining, toxic romantic tendencies, infidelity.

You worked under him as Lizzie's replacement as his secretary, you saw his books and you knew the red on his suit collar wasn't always lipstick. You went with him almost everywhere, memorized his schedule, and completed small tasks that often caused him headaches. Long hours in the office stopped feeling so lonely. And that's where the trouble started.

When he found himself growing fond of you, he tried to fight it. He really did. But feelings grow over time and before he knew it, he started to see you as a partner. At first, he told himself that you reminded him of Grace. It was easier to tell himself that he was projecting her image onto you. However, there came a point where he couldn't lie to himself anymore.

His eyes would follow you as you left a room. His head would turn upon hearing your voice. The smell of your perfume was enough to give him pause at times. When he was at home, he would sometimes go into his office to call you from your desk in Birmingham. Just to have a conversation, even if it was to go over a detail for a meeting he "forgot."

Tommy confessed his feelings to you one late night at the Midland Hotel. You sat with him at the hotel bar, not a soul around except for the two of you and half a bottle of whiskey. Maybe is was the whiskey that did it, but he took your hand and said: "I've been trying to think of what to do about you. The things that you make me want to feel, make me want to do. It shouldn't be this way, but it is. I want you."

You slowly took your hand from him, and stood. The look in your eyes was enough to make him sober. Quietly, you gave your reply, "I'm going to call for two cars to take us home. I'll see you Monday morning, Mr. Shelby."

Thomas Shelby is not unused to rejection. It hasn't bothered him in years. With you, however, it's different. You aren't a political rival, a gang leader, or a position he's being blocked from obtaining. You are a person. A woman who has denied him access to your heart.

That is very, very different.

Not to mention a blow to his ego. Tommy knows he's attractive, and he knows that most of the women he interacts with are more than a little interested in him. Ladies from poor families see a man that can provide. Ladies from wealthy families see a man of danger that can make them feel alive. You didn't seem to fall into either category. You didn't seem to need him the way most people did.

He wouldn't discuss that night at the Midland with you for several months. When it finally did get addressed, you seemed surprised. Had you assumed he was drunk? It hardly mattered. You tried to turn him down, again "We can't, Tommy."

"Of course we can."

You scoffed, "We shouldn't. You have a wife and two children, and I am merely your employee."

Tommy got closer to you, his eyes caught between staring at your rosy painted lips and the look in your eyes. His fingertips gazed your wrist. It would be so easy to just kiss you. To take you into his arms and just hold you. Did you truly not want him? As he stared you down, the answer was found in the tears that welled in your eyes. No, you were just as sick in the heart as he was.

"Lizzie understands. Or marriage is a partnership, nothing more. We can be as we like, she wants nothing to do with it," Tommy takes your chin in between his thumb and index finger. "Tell me you don't want me, and I'll leave you alone. Tell me that."

Tears stained by your dark mascara roll down your cheeks, a shudder runs through you. "Tommy," you sigh "that's precisely why I'll never give in. I can't live my life as your whore. It's almost as cruel as being your wife."

He let you go. You took two steps back, then left him there. As the door to his office slammed shut, Tommy almost chased after you. But, he didn't. Because you were right.

[marajaak]

Mine

(Sanji x reader)

Title : Mine

Pairing : Sanji x female reader

Warnings : Smut, unprotected sex (please don’t do that), creampie, Zoro is an asshole in this fanfic, English isn’t my first language so please be kind

Genre : smut

Summary : Y/N feels unrequited love towards Zoro. Sanji will do everything to help her forget the swordsman. What if it was the beginning of a love story ?

The young woman sighed when Zoro walked past her without looking. She stared at him sadly as he got off the Sunny and headed to the island.

- Y/N, are you coming? Luffy said with a big smile.

- I... no, she muttered. I think I'll stay with Sanji to guard the boat.

- Ok, see you later!

(Y/N) took a few steps on the ship and went to sit in a corner. The sun shone in a cloudless sky. It was a pleasant temperature, ideal for exploring a new island. But the young woman was not in the mood for that. She was thinking of a handsome young man with green hair. To the sweat that dripped down his bare chest when he worked out. To the kiss they had exchanged during a party where the swordsman was a little drunk. And finally the way he had ignored her moments ago.

Tears blurred her vision, and she buried her face in her arms, sobbing. Why didn't Zoro like him? Was she not pretty enough? Not strong enough? What did she have to do to get his attention?

Suddenly, she felt someone gently wiping away her tears .

- Shhh, it's going to be okay, whispered a soft male voice.

(Y/N) raised her head and met Sanji's tender and compassionate gaze.

- I... I..., she stammered.

He put an arm behind her back to help her up.

- Come, you're going to tell me what's making you sad and we'll find a solution, he whispered.

The cook took her to her room and sat down on her bed next to her. The naked thigh of the young woman brushed against the blond’s.

- It's this Marimo, isn't it? he began, lighting a cigarette.

- That's it, replied (Y/N) wiping her tears. I think I have feelings for him. We kissed several times and we even... uh...

- You slept together, Sanji completed.

- Yes one time. I thought he had feelings for me, but he's been ignoring me since the last night we partied. I know he was drunk, but still...

The blond placed both hands on the young woman's cheeks and turned her face towards his.

- Y/N, excuse me for telling you this, but I'm afraid that this kelp face doesn't want your heart, but only your body.

She watched the wisps of smoke billowing from her friend's cigarette to form diaphanous figures in the air. She had had a crush on him when she joined the crew, but since he flirted with a lot of women, she figured she didn't have a chance. She then became interested in Zoro. But something in the cook's eyes told him that... maybe...

She moved forward slightly and briefly placed her lips on the blond's, before pulling away when she saw him display a shocked expression.

- Sorry, I... I don't know what happened to me. I just wanted to forget about him for a while...

Sanji smirked.

- I was just surprised. If it's good sex you want, I'm always available...

He leaned towards her but she pushed him away, shaking her head.

- That's not what I meant. I am a romantic person. It's not just Zoro who occupies my heart. There... there's also you. I just wanted to know if you felt the same...

- Oh, said Sanji.

His gaze softens.

- I always loved you, but I thought you only had eyes for Marimo...

- Well, we both went astray...

She was cut off by the blonde's hot lips. He ran his hand through her hair, pressing lightly on her head to deepen the kiss. (Y/N) put his arms around the cook's neck.

Moments later, she found herself lying on her bed, with the young man kissing the soft skin of her neck. The young woman moaned softly.

- Zoro never had that effect on you, did he? he questioned her.

She shook her head again and he smiled.

Slowly, he moved down her body, caressing her curves, tracing a wet line with his tongue. He stopped in front of her crotch, his eyes bright with desire, waiting for permission.

“Go ahead, Sanji,” she whispered.

The young man lifted her skirt and took off her panties. With delicate licks, he explored every part of her intimacy. (Y/N)'s legs were shaking with pleasure, so he grabbed them. The electricity and shivers coursing through her body became euphoric, and she came abruptly. Sanji continued to lick her through her orgasm.

- Do you like it Y/N? This seaweed face has never done that to you?

- No, never... It's so good...

She stood up. A rather large dent deformed the cook's pants.

- Let me take care of you now, Sanji, she said.

- No, not today, ma chérie.

He helped her lie down again.

- What you need now is comfort.

The young woman's big smile made him understand that she would do whatever he wanted. But what he wanted was for her to let things happen.

He unzipped her skirt and took off her blouse, placing it carefully on a chair next to him. Then he began to take off his clothes. First his tie, then his jacket, his shirt, his pants and finally his boxers.

He gently entered the young woman's intimacy, letting out a long sigh, giving her time to adjust to his length. (Y/N) moaned. The cook wasn't as big as Zoro, but he was longer, and his cock stretched the walls of her vagina deliciously.

Little by little, he began his thrusts while caressing his beloved's body. He slipped his fingers through her hair, then swelled into her chest, without stopping to kiss her.

-Sss... Sanji! Y/N gasped.

- That's it, shout my name, the blond whispered in his ear. If you said mine and Marimo's in the same breath, you would realize that they don’t taste the same.

- Yes... but... don't talk about him anymore... I only want you right now...

- You're right... You are mine, mine, mine...

His trusts became more erratic, more disordered. (Y/N), drunk with pleasure, gripped the sheets. The happiness she felt was almost insurmountable. The softness of the blonde's touch and the love she felt in his movements drove her crazy. The swordsman had never treated her like this. He had just put her on all fours and fucked her up without thinking about her pleasure. Suddenly, she felt Sanji come inside her, which made her cum too. Her eyes rolled at the back of her head.

He rested his head on the young woman's chest and (Y/N) stroked his hair while catching her breath.

- It was good, she breathed. Much better than with Zoro...

The cook quickly raised his head, a predatory smile on his face.

- What if I made you forget that name forever?

[tanadrin]

Then you have those who legitimately had no idea what gender was even because we grew up in a tiny Irish village in the early 2000s, and because the one book they had was ‘Noughts & Crosses’, and the one film they had was ‘Men In Black II’, they didn’t know what racism was either, thinking America was ruled by black people. Like I was a pasty 9 year old with three sisters. When I was 7 one of my sisters decided to become my brother, then went back to being my sister a few years later, and I didn’t think anything of it, I thought that was accepted, that you could be whatever whenever you wanted. I got another brother the same year (this one born); to date my sister is still my sister, although she occasionally goes back to being my second brother when he feels like it. I thought my aunts in London were married for years, and my uncle got divorced when I was twelve, but no one explicitly told me so I didn’t find out for another twelve years. I have a cousin who became mute after brain damage and claims benefits but I know he can still talk because he swore me out when I was teaching him how to swim, he just doesn’t like his mothers. Now my other cousin also has stage four cancer but has never mentioned it any time we have hung out, I had to find out from my mother, and another cousin of mine died of a brain aneurysm but no one told me until a month later. I am agender, asexual, and aromantic, but don’t often tell anybody because it doesn’t come up. Which has led to me accidentally having to go on dates a lot: my sister who went to Australia to be an architect for a year but never got to be says I have ‘unbelievable rizz’, like I’m so oblivious to romantic tension that I seem interested when I’m just trying to be a person. Like I told someone she had a ‘perfect sneeze’ once and she tried to bring me into a throuple. And I had to stay a while since I was too socially awkward to say I didn’t want to be there. Same thing happened when a friend was moving to Poland and I made my way across the country to see her off. Then when I was going to the cinema last year someone lit a tram on fire in front of it so they gave me three months worth of free cinema, and pretty much anyone I asked to go with me thought it was a date, and I had to say yes because like you can’t turn someone down if you accidentally ask them out. Then afterward I went to the bank and accidentally found a secret door to a speakeasy next door with a password and 70% absinthe drunk out of lemons. And the guy from ‘Django Unchained’ was there, he’d been shooting a game show with his daughter (who was also there) in the country (this was not America), so we drank for a bit until he was done. He was a little annoyed that I didn’t seem drunk before seeming impressed when I mentioned I can’t really get drunk due to some weird genetic thing, the most I get being that I feel like if someone asked me for the truth about anything I would tell them, so basically truth serum, although I don’t really have secrets, so there’s nothing to tell. The most I’ve done is leak television pilots or films I’ve found access to on the internet, that people didn’t know had been leaked. Or spot plagiarism. Like I have the script for the new ‘Nosferstu’, I put it in my bag I carry around all the time, then like the next day my lecturer was talking about the original ‘Nosferstu’ and I said “Oh I have the script for that would you like it?” and he said “Yes.” so I pulled it out and he had expected me to be taking out my computer or something to share a PDF of the old film’s script, not for me to just hand him the new film’s script, and the look on his face had me go “wait.” I have surprised you? And anyway that same day someone tried to pass off a short story of mine I’d shared anonymously in Cork two years prior as their own, and this was Dublin, I didn’t know them, so I was more amazed at the circumstances of my merely being there than annoyed by the plagiarism (like if he’d asked I’d have let him, but he didn’t even know I was the writer, so he was just a massive coincidence). I am 23.

thumbs up emoji

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for how my previous 'situationship' ended? (I genuinely do not know what to call this situation so that's gonna have to do).

Okay so I (20F) met a guy that we will call Chris (21M) on tinder in Oct 2022. We were at the same uni, and we had good rapport over text, so we decided to meet up. He was pretty awkward but once we actually got talking he was a good chat. Nothing romantic or sexual was discussed/acted upon.

We hung out a few times after that. I kissed him once after a night out, which he didn't reciprocate or ever mention again. Given the complete lack of romance/sexuality coming from him, and the fact that he is a very socially awkward person, I took the hint that he wasn't interested and didn't know how to tell me. I felt that i made the fact I was interested clear and he hadn't taken me up on it, so I just dropped the subject. We continued talking as friends, and I genuinely thought that's all it was.

Come Feb 2023, I went on a night out with a different group of friends, during which a friend of mine, we'll call Tom, kissed me. I nearly had a one night stand with Tom, but I ended up not sleeping with him and just going home because I was too drunk. Being drunk and cringe, I made a pretty crude post to my tumblr before I passed out which was something like "someone is actually attracted to me? Nail me to a wall!" (Long deleted because drunk me is an embarrassment lol).

I woke up to texts from Chris, who had seen my tumblr post and was upset. I was pretty confused because 1. He doesn't even use tumblr, 2. I don't remember ever giving him my account name but it must have been in a screenshot at some point, and 3. I was not under the impression that we were dating... I let all that slide like an idiot because I was really hungover. Chris and I then had a chill discussion about what we were, and agreed to be friends. Cool! I thought that was the end of the drama. We chatted and hung out afterwards with 0 difference to how it had been before.

Cut to May, and I sent him good luck wishes before an exam. He says thanks and I just didn't think about it again, normal exchange.

Over three weeks after I'd wished him good luck, I woke up to a wall of text he'd sent me at 3am where he went into detail about how i had strung him along and wasted his time; that he thought I was manipulative and playing "mind games" with him for that good luck text, which he took as me trying to psyche him out before the exam and make him fail the module; that he didn't want to 'just be friends anymore' because the knowlege that i strung him along hurt too much; that I "ignored him as he walked past" (I still have no idea where or when this happened, I straight up did not see him wherever it was). He also went into detail about physical and mental health issues he'd been going through (that I wasn't aware of before the wall of text) saying that I'd been a great help with them during first term, then "ruined his second term". He went off that my lack of communication skills is a detriment to everyone around me.

I was completely blindsided by all of that, and honestly really hurt that he'd accuse me of trying to make him fail his exams, but I'm not sure that he's not got a point? Looking back, yeah maybe I should have straight up asked him if he was interested back in Nov. But idk I'd say kissing someone is a pretty fucking clear communication that i was interested, and he made 0 reaction to it, what was i supposed to think? I'm not in the habit of pushing people when they do nothing in the way of reciprocation. But, one of the issues he disclosed to me was that he had gotten an autism diagnosis in April and I can see how not being 100% clear and verbal in my communication may have been the root of the issues here, given that he was undiagnosed autistic for most of the time I knew him.

Anyway, was my lack of communication an asshole move?

What are these acronyms?

[meowsforyujin]

“I can’t keep doing this” Yang Jeongin ff

Jeongin x fem reader

(Warnings!! Contains: fluff, smut, angst, fwb, best friends to lovers, spanking, demeaning talk, fingering, jealousy)

The feeling of rejection was all too familiar to you, but this one hurt. It’s the FIRST time you’d found someone that piqued your interest other than the man you were hopelessly in love with, but could never be with. 

Lucky for you, you had good friends. One of your closest friends, sophie, decided you invite you to the club with her other friends. 

“The best way to get over being rejected is to act like a total slut and spend the night in someone else's sheets.” 

You decided to invite your best friend Jeongin, who also happens to be your current “fuck buddy”. 

“That way we can both finally find someone that isn’t each other.” was the hardest message to send in your life, but it was your idea anyway. 

Jeongin had been your best friend since middle school, always doing everything together. You and Jeongin were not very popular romantically, to say the least. You both went through the entirety of high school single, no first kiss, no first date, no intimacy, nothing. Until one day, 6 months ago you were both drunk and decided to be each other's first. It was quick to become a pattern, sex with your best friend. The sex was great, great, that’s not the problem. The problem is you’re hopelessly in love with him. That's why this most recent rejection hurt more than usual, it was the only person you actually liked other than jeongin, and that's a problem.  

—time skip—

Jeongin regrets coming immediately. You looked so fucking hot and he couldn’t do anything about that. Tonight’s sole purpose was so that he WONT fuck you. But you’re making it so hard. He shouldn't be mad, he really shouldn't. But you flirting with a guy that wasn't him made his blood boil. The way you smiled when you laughed, that was something he didn’t want ANYONE to cherish other than him. He didn’t want to share. 

.

.

.

You yelp feel your arm being grabbed harshly. 

“Let’s go y/n, were leaving.” 

“Jeongin! What the fuck is your problem?” You try to pull your arm away. 

It's embarrassing how fast you feel your arousal creep up on you when he turns around and gives you a furious look. In that moment you decided it wasn’t worth arguing, not with that gorgeous stupid fucking face of his. 

“Mind telling me what this is about?” You didn't dare look at him.

Jeongin laughed and his grip on the steering wheel tightened. 

What was this about? What WAS his problem? He doesn’t know. 

“Just keep that pretty mouth of yours shut until we get home.”

You walked after him, slowly and nervously. You had absolutely no idea what was in store for you.

“Go strip and get on the bed, hands and knees.”

You blinked at him, frozen in your tracks. Sure, you and jeongin have fucked, LOTS of times, but not like this. He’s never demanded anything from you. You couldn’t complain, the arousal told you this was a good thing. 

You nodded at him before rushing to his bedroom, taking your clothes off as fast as possible. You got on your hands and knees like he asked, but it was so so so nerve wrecking. You were so exposed, you weren’t used to it. 

“I fucking knew it, look at you slut, soaking wet. Bet it wasn’t even for that asshole back at the bar hmm?”

You moaned feeling him smack your ass, something he’s also never done before. 

“Tell me y/n, who are you this wet for? Me or that dickwad from the bar?”

You whined as his hand made light contact with your throbbing cunt, shortly followed by another smack on your ass. 

“You, fuck. You jeongin.”

He hummed in satisfaction, pushing a finger into you. You were already a moaning mess, relishing how his long slender finger made you feel. When he added another one, you subconsciously began pushing back your hips, trying to meet his fingers pace. 

“You gonna cum for me? Like the slut you are?”  

You helplessly nodded, moans getting higher and higher pitched. 

“Say my name.” 

You didn’t have to even think before chanting his name over and over while you finished. It was easy. You forgot everything but him, and you finally had to go ahead to vocalize that. Something about this made your orgasm so much more pleasurable.

He left you with almost no time to come down from your high, before thrusting his dick into you. Your cries filled the room, begging for more. How couldn’t you? He hit you spot so so so deliciously perfect from this angle. 

“This is what you get for making me jealous baby, you should know better. You’re just mine, only mine. No one else can have you.”

You groaned into the pillows hearing his words, too lost in the pleasure to even register everything he was saying. 

–time skip–

You stared at the ceiling, watching the fan as your mind went wild. The things jeongin said just hours ago, finally starting to get to you. You turned to see sleeping jeongin, his arm wrapped around you still. Did he mean what he said? Surely he did because he was jealous of you and the other guy. But he shouldn’t have been. That was the point of going out. In fact, that was the point of this whole “relationship”. You two were simply just placeholders until you found someone else. But no one else wanted you, not even jeongin. He probably only brought you back because he couldn’t find anyone else. After all, you are always the last choice. 

Jeongin woke up to your sniffling, but didn’t find you next to him. Instead, he found you on the floor of the living room, curled up in a ball crying your eyes out. 

“Y/n? What’s wrong?” He went to hug you but you swerved away

“I can’t keep doing this jeongin.”

“You wha, what do you mean?” he searched your face for any kind of answer. Did you mean fucking? Or being friends? All he could tell was that he had never seen you this hurt before.

“I can’t do this to myself anymore, nobody wants me, not even you.”

“What are you saying? I never said that?”

“Save it jeongin. you only took me home because you couldn’t find another girl. I’m always the last option, and I don’t want to be that anymore.”

“Y/n, that’s not true.”

“No! I don’t want to hear it! I’ve been spending 6 whole fucking months trying to get over you, and NOBODY wants me. The rejections hurts. It’s taking a toll on me and I can’t do it anymore.”

“Get over me? What do you mean get over me?”

“Do you really want to know?” You stood so close to him he could see every color in your face from crying, he hated seeing you this sad.

“I’ve been in love with you since the beginning. I THOUGHT the first time we slept together it was because you felt the same way! Do you know how much it hurt? When you told me your “idea” ?”

his idea, the idea that you would sleep together to fill the empty voids you both had.

“I was just a void filler. Nothing else. I can’t do this to myself anymore Jeongin. ESPECIALLY when you send mixed signals by lying, “I’m only yours” and making me feel like MAYBE you wanted me the way I wanted you.” You rushed past him in attempt to leave, but of course, he stopped you.

“I wasn’t lying. And I never said I didn’t want you that way. I only came up with my dip shit ‘idea’ because I thought you only slept with me because you were drunk. I thought you’d be disgusted if you found out I had feelings for you, so I came up with that. Because it let me atleast get a hint of what it would be like to have you as mine. Maybe that’s selfish but I never thought I’d get a chance to experience the real thing.”

Tears were uncontrollably falling down your face, you didn’t want to believe him. What if he was lying? You don’t want to get hurt

“You’re lying, you just want me to stay so you can get your dick wet once in a while. You don’t love me.”

Jeongin eyes softened and filled with tears hearing you say that. How could he make you feel this way? Feel so unwanted.

“How could I not love you? Everytime I see you I feel all my troubles float away. Your smile is my favorite piece of art in the world. Your laugh is my favorite song in the world. I don’t want anyone else to get the privilege of hearing or seeing you ever. I want you all to myself. You’re the one person who knows me better than everyone else. You’re the only one I’d ever want to spend my life with. I love you so fucking much it’s insane, and no it’s not just to get my dick wet. I’d give up sex all together if it meant you’d stay.”

you nearly fell to the floor. You must’ve been dreaming. Jeongin never used words like this, especially when it comes to feelings

“Please stay.” He held your hand with pleading eyes.

It took one slow nod and his face lit up, like he was never even sad in the first place. He pulled you into a warm hug, placing a light, loving kiss on your forehead.

—time skip—

It’s been 2 months since you and jeongin started dating, and you swear you’ve never been happier. You basically live at his place. Most of your clothes are there, much to his dismay. (He’d rather you wear his clothes). To your surprise, jeongin and you didn’t have sex for a month. When you asked him why, he said it was because he wanted to assure you he didn’t just want you for that reason. You felt like melting on the spot from his sweetness, you loved him so much.

Sometimes you and jeongin lie awake at night staring at the ceiling fan, entangled in each other’s arms and just talk. Jeongin often said in times like those that you both were meant to be, there was never anyone else.

“Also, there’s something I should tell you..”

“Yes what is it jeongin?”

“Well, it’s not like nobody ever wanted you…I just threatened everyone to stay away from you or I’d put them in the hospital.”

“YANG JEONGIN YOU WHAT?!”

[yelenasdog]

tell me you’re that somebody ✧ (trevor zegras x fem reader)

genre: smut with plot

summary: trevor hadn’t expected anything to come from his routine tinder round-up of chicks for the first party of the summer at the lake house. but in all fairness, she wasn’t expecting anything when she’d downloaded the app in the first place. they’re both in over their heads.

words: 4k

warnings: alcohol mention, cheesy situation lol, smut, fingering, handjob, public sex (or foreplay? technically? whatever she gets fingered in a hot tub), cursing, reader and trev meet through tinder, use of pet name (baby)

a/n: @eminems-skittles and i texted abt this like a week ago and i haven’t been able to stop thinking abt this so. here! cassie ur my biggest cheerleader i love u 🤍 also the song mentioned later in the fic is “love me” by lil wayne btw and it lightly inspired the fic. so. do w that what u will. happy reading! 

The music was loud at the party, and that combined with the amount of drunk 20 somethings and flashing LED lights coming from inside the house would’ve been enough to make her lose her mind.

Key word: would’ve.

But she didn’t. Not yet, anyway. Because in all the noise and smoke and fucking craziness, she had him. And, despite being in a steamy hot tub, it wasn’t the most romantic situation ever, she’d be the first to admit.

The music blasting sounded like it was some kind of Lil Wayne song from 2013 (actually, was that Drake? No, it’s both of them) and the pair was surrounded by a graveyard of half empty beer bottles and cans from where they resided in the hot tub. (All from the girls who took about four minuscule sips from them to seem cool in front of the famed hockey players. That was only before abandoning them for a Whiteclaw the second they got warm.)

But she didn’t pay much care to the scenery, focusing just on the man in front of her. Or, beneath her, if we’re being technical.

Their relationship was a, shall we say, recent development. As in, when Trevor had rented a lake house with his buddies during the off season, and word of the first party had been spread, he’d taken to his Tinder. He’d been tasked with finding the girls, and even though he’d kind of felt like a pimp, he’d scrolled through anyway, finding chicks near his location, matching and inviting them quickly.

He came across her profile, seeing the bio mentioning she wasn’t expecting much from the app, but that she downloaded it for kicks and giggles. She was probably the hottest he’d seen yet (and would see), and he didn’t hesitate to swipe right. He mentally called dibs on the girl, who’s name was apparently Y/n, and not expecting a match right away, he pocketed his phone. Satisfied with the roster he’d created for the party, he stood up, heading outside where some of the guys were already playing a casual game of pong.

He chuckled to himself at the sight before him, Jamie and Alex half asleep in two of the chairs on the pool deck, Quinn on the same page as he scrolled through his phone. Jack and Cole were the two playing pong, while various other friends, some Trevor knew, some he didn’t, lingered about.

Trevor sat down, yawning. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of tiredness, but failing. Conversation drones on, and he mostly ignores it, zoning out. He was snapped out of his trance by the dinging of his phone, which he quickly retrieved, desperate for anything more interesting than what he was currently subject to.

He wasn’t disappointed at what he saw, the notification that he’d matched with someone bright against his lock screen. He clicked, hoping it was Y/n from earlier. It was, and at this revelation, he immediately opened up a chat, not caring that he probably looked desperate.

“Hi :)” he typed out, pressing send. Basic, he knows, but he figured he’d play it safe. He went back and looked at her profile again, swiping through all of the photos. He reread her bio, seeing that she had only recently moved to the area, loved hockey and a few other sports, and was currently still in school, studying for a doctorate. Fancy.

The photos didn’t quite match what the bio said, in Trevor’s mind. There was one of her in tight leggings and a sports bra posing with what he assumed was her dog, another in the garage of some race team, donned in their colors. Which doesn’t seem too far off, but then he kept scrolling.

A personal favorite (yes, it’s only been 10 minutes, yes, he had a personal favorite) was one of her in a rickety bar. It was taken with flash, and her smile was nearly brighter than said flash. It was dim in the photo aside from purple and blue stage lights, a band in the back in front of a crowd of people. Her hand was in the air, wrapped around a bottle of some sort, her other one slung around the shoulders of a guy wearing a cowboy hat. It was her brother in law, Trevor had learned from the bio.

He scrolled through the various pics multiple times after that, landing on one of her in a skimpy blue bikini, smiling on what appeared to be the bow of a yacht.

It caught the attention of Quinn, who’d been on his way inside. He stopped mid sentence, placing a hand on the back of Trevor’s chair.

“Who the fuck is that?” He questioned, leaning in towards Z’s phone. Trevor looked up at him, rolling his eyes and saying “dude, could you get any closer?” Quinn stepped away, his hand still gripping the edge of the chair.

“My bad. Like I said, who’s that?”

“Who’s who?” Jack asked from where he was still playing pong, curious as to what had piqued his older brother’s interest. Jamie, who’d taken Cole’s spot, turned his head as well, hand dropping from where it was mid air.

“Just an absolute rocket Trevor is trying to keep to himself.” Came the voice of Cole, who’d gone inside to get a water and was now back out, peering over Trevor’s shoulder. Z rolled his eyes again, turning off his phone and setting it on the table, face down.

“Well if she’s a rocket,” Jack started, “then is she coming tonight?”

Trevor shrugged. “We’ll see.” He replied, standing up and stretching. “I’m going to get a coffee. Text me if you want anything, ya fuckin’ idiots.” He added, turning and walking inside.

Up until the moment he was walking through the doors of the Starbucks, his phone was still flooding with orders from various numbers. It was a lot of black coffees and everything bagels, and he wasn’t looking forward to carrying them all to the car.

His woeful thoughts of cream cheese and cold brews were interrupted as he lifted his head, planted in place by what he saw.

“Yeah, I guess I should be thanking you for making me download it, but that’s if it’s actually him. What if it’s some creep, huh? I go to his place thinking it’s fuckin Trevor Zegras and it’s some 60 year old named Barnaby Wilson.” She pauses, listening to whoever was on the other side of the phone. “No, I don’t know what kind of name Barnaby Wilson is, nor do I care about a verification system. I care about becoming a murder victim on a shitty true crime podcast.” Another pause.

Then, just as she’s about to speak, she’s cut off by the barista yelling “Y/n!” far too loud for her liking. “Whatever, I’ll call you back. Yes, I’ll keep you updated! I promise. Okay. Love you, bye.” She rolled her eyes to herself, chuckling as she made the short walk to the counter. She grabbed her order with a “thank you” to the barista, before making her way over to the exit.

The exit where Trevor, like an idiot, was still stupidly standing.

“Hey, dude, you gonna order or what?” Some unenthusiastic teen who manned the register asked, obviously not fazed in the slightest by the NHL superstar in front of him.

“Uh, yeah. Just, looking at the menu.” He turned to where a mini line had formed behind him, apologizing to the older woman who had been standing behind him, waiting. He stepped aside, forcing his legs to carry him over to where she had been about to leave.

“Hey, Y/n!”

She turned, eyes wide as saucers upon hearing her name by someone who wasn’t a barista. When she saw that it was the real Trevor Zegras, not Barnaby Wilson, she just about fainted.

“Trevor? Zegras?” She wanted to facepalm at her reaction, and probably would have if it wasn’t from the bag in one hand and drink in the other.

A cocky smile came across Trevor’s face, starting to feel a little bit like himself again at the recognition, standing a little taller.

“In the flesh.” Okay. Maybe a little bit too himself.

“You get my message?” He asked, and she nodded, a small smile raising the corners of her mouth.

“I did. Haven’t responded yet, though. Wasn’t sure if you were the real deal. Not sure if you were some creep pretending to be Trevor Zegras.”

“Barnaby Wilson.” He added, and she grew red at the realization he heard that conversation. A small laugh left her, as her hand with the bag came up to scratch the back of her neck.

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Right.” He added quietly, a smile still cemented onto his face.

“Well”, he started after a moment of quiet. ”I was going to ask you over messages, but since you’re here, I’m having a party later with a couple of buddies. I’d love it if you could make it.”

Her jaw dropped, and she had to play it off as if it was a yawn. Which probably looked stupid the more she thought about it, but who could blame her? In the most typical Wattpad, coffee shop AU meet-cute way possible, she was invited to a party of NHLers, by an NHLer.

She didn’t even give a second thought to her paper that was due in three days, all she needed to do were revisions anyway. She immediately accepted, and after a quick hug initiated by Trevor and plans to exchange numbers and text her the details, they parted.

She got to the car and screamed, before dialing back her best friend who she’d been on the phone with, thanking her endlessly for forcing her to download Tinder.

Trevor, who now was at the back of the line for drinks, texted the group chat to let them know she was definitely coming. Then, he got the notification he had a message on Tinder, seeing it was her responding to his “Hi :)” with a “Hi, not Barnaby.”

That led to where they were now.

When she’d showed up to the party, instructed by Trevor to come wearing a swimsuit, it was like everything stopped.

Much to the dismay of their dates, all of the boys craned their necks to look at the girl who Trevor hadn’t shut up about since that morning, not disappointed in the slightest.

Her denim cutoffs showed off her legs to where they were cut off by a pair of white converse, her white bikini top a slightly lighter shade, not subject to the same daily abuse as the shoes. Trevor had greeted her with a hug, his hand never leaving her back once they parted. He’d made the rounds, introducing her to all his wide eyed friends, before the two of them settled into conversation with Cole about the upcoming Formula 1 season.

Trevor had never given a shit about F1 before. Racing was never really for him. But hearing her ask Cole with such wonder in her voice about what it was like to meet Fernando Alonso, and speak with such conviction about her opinion on the strategy at Ferrari? What they were strategizing, Trevor had no idea, but, fuck, if he didn’t love hearing her talk about it.

The night went on, things got rowdier, and then as they do, they got quieter. She was there for the entirety of it, and at some point, they’d slipped into the hot tub.

It was bubbly and warm, and she’d let out an audible sigh when the water first hit her aching back. The tension from days of sitting hunched up by her laptop as she wrote melted away in the water, and it was divine.

Her and Trevor were joined by Jack and his date for the night. Some brunette named Haleigh. “Like, with a y, but… not… with a y. You know?” She’d added when she introduced herself.

After complaining it was too hot, Haleigh without a Y left the hot tub, going inside to get another Mike’s hard lemonade. Jack sat for a second, his head falling into his hand. He let out a deep, deep sigh of exhaustion, before running the same hand over his face and ruffling it through his hair.

“Jack, come be my pong partner!” She exclaimed, briefly hanging her head out the sliding glass doors, before going back inside.

“Guess that’s my cue.” Jack said, pushing himself up and out of the water. They gave him a sympathetic look, but not that sympathetic, knowing he’d probably be fucking her in give or take about 20 minutes.

It left the two of them mostly alone, in their little bubble at least, only surrounded by a few stragglers. They were either out on the dock, by the bonfire in the backyard, or standing up against the wall, caging in whatever unfortunate girl is the victim of a failed attempt at a fuck, and hasn’t figured out her escape route yet.

But she wasn’t paying any attention to them, and neither was Trevor. His attention was fully on her, where her hand nervously had come up to mess with the charm around her neck. He knew the action itself was fairly innocent, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t let his eyes wander further down.

The way the water droplets were resting upon her slightly burnt skin was downright sinful, some of them still sliding down the expanse of her neck. She looked almost like she did in the picture he liked so much from earlier, all the lights illuminating her in all the best ways. And maybe it was just the alcohol, but Trevor thought she looked angelic.

“Y’know,” he began, his fingertips coming up to play with a strand of her hair, “you’re really fuckin’ pretty.”

She blushed, not that he could tell with all the lights, and looked away, trying to hide the expression that began to tug at her features.

“Thanks. You too.” She tossed back, a breathy laugh leaving both of them. His hand went from the strand of hair to her chin, tilting it up, forcing him to meet her gaze.

“I mean it.”

“Me too.”

It was an immediate response, because she did. She did mean it. He didn’t just look pretty, he looked fucking unreal. But, she didn’t want to say that. Not yet at least. So she settled for pretty.

They held each other’s gazes, and she’s not sure who moved first, but before she knew it, the water around them was rippling. She was suddenly on his lap, his hands on either hip. Her arms were around his neck, and his lips were on hers.

And despite the fact it was fucking amazing, and the fact that his lips were so soft and so perfect, her mind was still running a million miles a minute.

She pulled away, worried that someone would see the two of them. Why was she worried about that? She didn’t know. But she was programmed to worry, it seemed, about anything and everything.

“What’s wrong, Y/n?” Trevor asked, looking up at her with those sweet green eyes.

“Nothing, Trev, it was amazing.”

“Then why’d you stop?” He asked, leaning forward and connecting his lips to her neck, somehow immediately finding her sweet spot. He was relentless, and as she struggled to find words, he hummed against her in question. Her breath hitched at the sensation, and she felt him smile against her, his teeth barely nipping at the sensitive skin. She gasped again, her breath shaky.

“But what if someone sees, Trev?” She managed to get out, hanging her head where Trevor’s shoulder met his neck. He paused his attack on her momentarily, his fingertips smoothing over her thighs, moving up to her waist.

“Look at me, Y/n.” He said, his voice firm but without a hint of animosity or anger. So she lifted her head from her place of hiding, looking him in the eyes.

“Baby, they’re all drunk. They don’t give a fuck. Okay?” He said with a reassuring smile, his question more rhetorical than anything. His hands on her waist started to move her back and forth slightly, feeling where his length was growing through his trunks and her tied bottoms.

Her head fell again, a whine leaving her lips. She continued to move, and Trevor brought his lips up to press a kiss to her temple.

“Just focus on me.” He mumbled, followed by a small “Yeah?” To which she nodded. He smiled again, quickly finding her lips and capturing them with his.

When he asked so nicely, how was she supposed to say no?

It was like the only thing that existed anymore, or had ever existed was Trevor.

He infiltrated every one of her senses, despite the fact they normally would’ve been taken up by the scenery around her. She couldn’t smell the shitty alcohol or the smoke from the bonfire, only the barely lingering scent of the cologne he’d applied before he’d started to welcome guests.

She couldn’t see all of the people around her, just the sight of Trevor, wet curls wildly astray, eyes screwed shut as he helped guide her over his cock.

She couldn’t hear that fucking Lil Wayne (and Drake, and Future, and whoever the fuck else) song, or the boisterous laughter of the hockey players, mixed with that of their dates. (Who’re all laughing just a little too hard.)

She just heard the tiny moans and soft praises that fell from Z’s lips. “You’re doing so good for me, baby.” Was the latest, followed by a groan that she would’ve been worried someone would hear, if not for how enamored she was.

She couldn’t feel the sickly heat in the humid air, or how the water sloshed up against her burnt back, just the slightest bit too hot. She couldn’t feel where the knot keeping her swimsuit tied together was pressing into her skin, or where the grainy feeling of the bench in the hot tub rubbed against her knees. All she could feel was him, his cock pressing against her, his fingertips digging into her, his lips everywhere at once.

And she most definitely couldn’t taste the remnants of the chocolate croissant she’d had for breakfast, or the taste of the tequila shots she’d done with Jamie and Alex. As his tongue lazily danced with her own, it wasn’t any of that that she recognized.

It was the Pink Whitney shot he’d done when the rest were doing tequila, citing that tequila and his stomach didn’t mix. And it was a strange accompaniment, but it was also the leftover tang of the spearmint gum he’d been chewing earlier in the day, stealing a piece from Quinn, who hadn’t offered any to him in the first place. But the strange combination worked, because it was him.

All of it was so much, so Trevor, that it was driving her crazy, but in the best way possible. So when he moved one of his hands from her waist, down to her clothed sex, she almost lost it.

“Trev-“

“You’re good, baby. I’ve got you.”

He ran his thumb over her slit, before sliding his hand down the front of her bottoms, feeling her bare pussy. He wasted no time, easing his two middle fingers into her, stretching her out. The stretch was delicious, and she fully moaned, trying to find any sense that she could to prop herself up entirely on her knees. She palmed him over his pink swim trunks, and he chased the feeling, needily lifting his hips to meet her hand.

She smiled, before mirroring his actions from only a minute ago, her hand easily finding his hardened dick. She ran her thumb over the tip, before she started to jack him off, the water adding resistance as she moved her hand along his length.

But it was all the same to Trevor as he groaned, his hand still pumping in and out of her. His palm perfectly grazed her clit every time he did, and the two of them built up a rhythm as they went. The water around them was moving in waves now, and true to his word from earlier, everyone around them was too drunk to care that they were basically fucking in the hot tub.

As she started to squirm above him, he added a third finger, his glossed over eyes watching in amazement as her mouth went ajar. She clenched down on him, and he could tell she was nearly there. Her hand moved faster in sync with chasing her own peak, Trevor’s doing the same.

“Trev, I’m- fuck! Trevor, I’m close.” She softly cried, her head once again falling back to his shoulder as she rode his hand. He reached his opposite hand forward, groping at her tit, pulling it out of the small triangle of fabric covering it. She moaned at the sensation, and he bit down hard on his lip.

“I know, baby. I’m almost there, too. Shit, you're gonna be good and make me cum, aren’t you? Fuck, yeah. Yeah, you are, baby. Riding my fingers like that. You’re so perfect. So perfect, fuck.

And somehow, they picked up their paces even more, Trevor’s hand slamming into her, while she moved her hand up and down his shaft at a matching speed.

With a cry of his name, and a broken “fuck” from Z, the two came together. Everything went white, and if before everything surrounding her was Trevor, it was like now the two had become one.

She went lax in his arms as they continued to lazily stroke each other, soft kisses pressed to the corner of her mouth by Zeegs.

“You did so good, baby. So fuckin’ sexy riding my hand like that. No idea what you do to me.”

She smiled, tilting her head. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his chest.

“I’ve got a semblance of an idea, I think.” She quipped, and he rolled his eyes. She leaned forward again, pausing briefly to admire his features, before leaning forward and connecting their lips in a sweet kiss.

When they pulled away, she nuzzled against him, all of a sudden aware of the space they were in.

“Y’know, you were right, though.”

“About what?” He asked, leaning down. She smiled as she felt his lips on her head.

“Doesn’t seem like anybody noticed.” She giggled, and he let out a “ha!” shaking his head. She was right, he supposed.

Everyone who was inside had either fallen asleep on the couch, or retired to their rooms, Haleigh without a Y and Jack included. The backyard bunch were still all chatting away, and the guys over by the wall seemed to have accepted their losses, as they now were alone, seemingly fighting off sleep as well.

“Guess not.” He replied, looking down at her. She smiled up at him, tilting her head to give him a kiss. He tried to deepen it, but much like before, she pulled away.

“As lovely as your kisses are, and as worth it that it was, I think we’ve contaminated this hot tub.” She joked, beginning to stand. Trevor frowned, his eyebrows furrowing, and his hand not leaving hers.

She raised her eyebrows, as if to say “I wasn’t done”, and so he beckoned for her to continue.

“But, as I was saying, you’re staying here, right?” He nodded. She smiled, shrugging.

“Then you still have a shower and a bed to contaminate too.”

Trevor grinned, standing up and getting out of the hot tub, pulling her out of the water completely. She shrieked and tugged her knees up, her hand coming to grasp at Z’s forearm. He spun her around twice before setting her down, pulling her to his chest. Trevor Zegras had found his match.

“I like the way you think, lady.”

FIN.

hopefully that was good LOL, btw idk if u’ve ever seen shoresey, but this is reminding me too much of that whole “sanguinet got a squeezer from your sweetie of the side of a party island in wasaga beach, buddy.” LMFAOO iykyk. 

anyway hope u enjoyed, rb if u did! love u, go take an electronics break and hydrate and eat some protein. mwah, bye <3

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

The Knight and the Cellar Boy

Virgil's father sets him an impossible task, Roman sees that injustace and takes it upon himself to make that task possible.

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| AO3 |

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Warnings: Mentions of alcohol (no drunk characters)

Pairings: Pre-Romantic Prinxiety

Word Count: 1015

Notes:

Day 5 of @prinxietyweek ! Today's prompt is 'Medieval' - I had the idea for Virgil working in a tavern!

This one is just short and sweet <3 I hope you enjoy!

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“That’s the last one,” The cellar boy said, dumping a large, heavy barrel of cider onto the bar. The bartender - and owner - of the tavern scowled at him. The village tavern was busy today with visiting knights from the kingdom’s capital. 

“The hell d’you mean the last one,” He hissed as though it would stop the onlooker - who now had to look around the barrel to see - from hearing, “We’ve got company! Important company! We can’t be out - go down and get more.”

“There is no more-” The cellar boy emphasised his words - the knight who was watching this exchange hummed. He wondered why he had never seen this boy before. 

“Well find some,” The barman said, raising his voice before lowering it again, “Important company! Run the the brewery if you have to-”

“You know I can’t,” The cellar boy protested, “By the time I’m back the tavern’ll be closed!”

“Then go faster.” He huffed. The cellar boy looked defiant for a moment, before sighing, defeated. The knight watched as he went to a door behind the bar, grabbing a cloak and pulling it around him. Curiosity piqued, he leaned to whisper to one of the knights in his command before turning and walking out. 

When the bartender turned around from changing out the old barrel with the last full one, he found the captain of the royal knights gone. 

“Where-”

“Something came up, the captain will return shortly,” One of the other knights cut him off bluntly. 

“For now - how about a round of that cider!?” said one of his companions, followed by an uproar the captain could hear from outside. 

—-

Roman had been well prepared to chase after the pretty cellar boy. He couldn’t help the way he felt he needed to help when he saw someone treated unfairly anyway, especially not someone who captivated his interest as he had done. It turned out, though, that he wouldn’t need to chase after him at all, because he had barely made it five feet from the back door to the tavern, leaning on the fence.  

Atop his horse Roman rode around to the back of the tavern only to find the cellar boy leaning against the fence. At the sound of approaching hooves, he looked up, eyes widening as Roman approached. 

“Sir - what, um- my apologies, but what are you doing out here?” The cellar boy asked, clearly trying to remain formal, though he looked nervous. Even despite his nerves, Roman could see something fiery in him - and the guy was about his age it seemed too. Roman really shouldn’t be getting too in his head about this. He was out here to do something. 

“Please - call me Roman,” He said, “And I came to offer you my assistance.”

“Oh- oh, okay, well uh…”

“A pleasure to meet you,” Roman continued with a winning smile, “Is he always like that to you?”

“...Pretty much?” 

“Why do you let him push you around so?”

The cellar boy shrugged, “He’s my father - and besides - I can’t go far on my own.”

He gestured to a cane fashioned from wood that leant against the same fence that he was. 

“So he’s set you an impossible task, then?” Roman asked. 

“I… suppose, there’s no way I’ll be able to get to the brewery for more ale barrels before the tavern shuts, let alone bring them back,” The poor guy sighed.

“What if I help?” Roman offered, the stranger looked up and narrowed his eyes.

“Why?”

“Because I want to help you…?”

“No I mean - what- what for? What do you want in return?”

“Your name would be quite nice,” Roman said with a smirk, “But really I don’t expect payment from you, I’m the captain of the royal army, I don’t like seeing our citizens suffer.”

“You - You’re that Roman?” he asks, eyes wide as he backs up a little, “What are you doing all the way out here?? No wonder father was so worked up-”

“Hey - hey, calm down sweetheart, I'm not that scary,” Roman said, hopping down from his horse, “I would really like to help you, if you’ll let me - we can take my horse up, and we can borrow a wagon to bring the barrels back.”

He seemed to contemplate for a second, worrying his lip between his teeth, “I… I don’t know how to ride a horse…”

“You don’t have to,” Roman waved him off immediately, “You can just ride behind me!”

“You mean like -”

“Indeed,” Roman said, hopping back up onto his horse, “Now come, we can show that cranky old man what speed looks like.”

A suspicious look was tossed his way, but Roman just smiled and held out his hand to help this guy up onto his horse. It took a moment, but eventually he did take it. Roman hoisted him up onto the horse behind him. He was lucky he’d taken off most of her tack when situating her in the stables - or having two riders with saddle would be incredibly uncomfortable. 

“Is- is this not dangerous?” the cellar boy asked. 

“Nah,” Roman said, turning to smile at him, “I do this all the time - Princess is a very steady horse - just hold onto me and you’ll be fine.”

“Princess?” He asked, a small smirk on his face, Roman rolled his eyes - though it was nice to see a funny side to this timid guy he still didn’t know the name of.

“Indeed, that’s her name,” Roman confirmed, “I named her when I was seven years of age - so don’t laugh.”

He was laughing anyway.

“Speaking of names, I still don’t have yours,” Roman said as he urged Princess into a walk - deciding to take this a little slowly whilst his new friend adjusted. 

“Oh- it- it’s Virgil,” The cellar boy said, eyes wide. 

“Well Virgil,” Roman said as he urged the horse into a trot and Virgil’s arms tightened around his waist, “You’re holding me rather tightly.”

He couldn’t see him, but Roman could just tell that Virgil had gone a bright flaming red.

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Tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess @glacierruler @roseianxiety @bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti @scalesfeathersnfur @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @littlerat2 (if anyone wants to be added, let me know!)

[yukidragon]

Have you theorised why Ian cheated? It was long distance when he did so and he called them right away so it looks like he still loved Y/N so do you think it was a drunk thing or more like he for 2 seconds he got the idea in his head that he did want to "satisfy his manhood" since he's only been with one person and immediately regretted it.

I have actually. I’ve mentioned it a couple times in past headcanon posts as my thoughts about it evolved, but I don’t mind going over it again. Heck, your ask is a good excuse to make a post that’s exclusively about the topic of Ian and his relationship with the MC.

For the most part I’m going to speak in general terms for why Ian might have cheated that can apply to all kinds of MCs, and not just my specific version, Alice. Ultimately, I don’t think it mattered what type of person the MC was - Ian cheated for reasons that were entirely his own... and ultimately selfish. I will touch on a few extra headcanons that strictly apply to Ian/Alice’s relationship and how it affects Sunshine in Hell at the end though.

I’ll be posting some artwork that used to be on Jambeebot/Sauce’s public twitter before it went down for some extra tidbits of information, and linking to the official twitter when relevant. As a reminder, please do not repost any private artwork posted on the SnaccPop Studio Patreon. Doing so is harmful to the team and their livelihood. Instead, please consider joining as a patron, contributing to the Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack kickstarter, or just spreading the word about the game to other interested adults.

As a reminder, this series is for Adults Only. Sex is going to be discussed in this post, and there might be a mature image or two for reference.

Also as a heads up, this post will discuss abusive/toxic relationships, past instances of child abuse, SA, and religious trauma. If you are not in the headspace to handle any of these topics, please feel free to give this post a skip.

Obligatory tag for @channydraws and @earthgirlaesthetic before we get started. If you would like to be tagged in the next SDJ headcanon post, please let me know!

First, I want to address the theory that Ian was drunk, blackmailed, or otherwise did not consent to have sex with someone besides MC. Not only do I strongly believe that this is false, as there is evidence to suggest as such, I find this headcanon to be very... uncomfortable, to say the least.

If Ian did not willingly choose to have sex with someone, then he is the victim of SA.

The reason why Ian and MC broke up was because Ian had sex with someone else. If the only reason Ian had sex with someone else was because it was SA, that would mean that MC dumped the victim of SA instead of supporting him after a traumatic incident. MC would have blamed the victim of SA for suffering from SA. Even if we entertain the idea that Ian was too ashamed or didn’t understand it was SA at the time of the breakup, and as such MC had no idea that’s what happened, the victim of SA would have not only gone through the absolute violation that is SA, but lost his greatest source of love and emotional support as a result.

I am not comfortable with that narrative. At all.

Fortunately, it’s very unlikely to be the case, as Ian is taking all responsibility for his actions, as he himself stated in the demo. He did not blame his affair partner for what happened.

I’m going to try anyway. I’ve known you for how long now? I've known that…This is worse than anything we’ve been through. And it’s 100% my fault. But please…Don’t throw me out yet. Even if I deserve it…

There is also an older piece of art by Sauce that isn’t in the game or on the official twitter where Ian confessed to what he had done in a phone call immediately in the aftermath of his affair.

If Ian did not consent to have sex, then this picture changes into something very, very disturbing... well beyond the official warnings given on the subject.

[Romantic, Sexual, Emotional] Themes of manipulation, mind games, sexual consensual coercion, supernatural influence, soft dubious consent, and persuasive seduction.

Fortunately this picture shows Ian as lucid. He is upset and crying over what he did, but there’s no sign that he is in a compromised mental state where he can’t consent to sex.

I understand the reasoning behind making this sort of headcanon. I’ve seen it many times before, where a fan likes a character a lot, but feels uncomfortable towards one or more action that the character has taken. It can create a dissonance in the fan that needs to be resolved, and most often that takes the form of absolving the character of the blame of that questionable action, usually by making it the fault of someone else instead. That way, the character no longer has the trait that makes the fan uncomfortable, and it helps the fan no longer feel guilty for liking the character.

Liking flawed characters is not a sign that there’s anything wrong with you as a person. You can like aspects of a character but still disagree with certain things they’ve done or believed in. You are not tacitly approving of their flawed beliefs or wrongful actions by liking the character.

Everyone is flawed. Everyone has made mistakes. We are all imperfect, because we are all human. This mindset that a character can only be liked if they are absolved of all flaws is not only limiting when it comes to storytelling, it can be damaging, as it makes our own failings feel that much more unforgivable.

Redemption arcs can be pretty underrated, and I think that’s a shame. We shouldn’t be afraid of making mistakes. We should own up to them and learn healthy ways of making amends, or at least how to move on, heal, and grow into a better person.

I believe that Ian’s route in the game is going to be a redemption arc for him. For MC to reach a happy ending with him, Ian will have to truly make amends for betraying their trust. It won’t be easy, but redemption can be a beautiful thing. I eagerly look forward to seeing how Ian will do it and prove that he is truly remorseful and will never make such a mistake again.

Now that we’ve got that sorted, let’s consider the possible reasons why Ian chose to cheat.

First off, let’s start off with the facts that we do know about: Ian and MC are childhood friends who wound up in a relationship. MC was a stable figure in Ian’s life since they were children. The demo touches on a number of memories between them that mean a lot to both Ian and MC, including the afterlife mode.

The two have known each other a long time and know each other fairly well. However, as we’ve seen in the afterlife bonus story, Ian did keep secrets from MC. MC, by contrast, didn’t seem interested in hiding anything. These secrets, particularly whatever it was he hid so desperately under his bed, will probably come out during the game. The only thing we do know is that whatever he’s hiding, it’s not porn, as Sauce tweeted before their twitter was removed.

It’s unlikely that Ian is keeping secrets from MC for malicious reasons. Even when he cheated, he confessed right away rather than tried to hide it. He has a tendency to apologize, which even MC has commented on when describing him.

He was a nerd, and he was silly, and he was VERY apologetically himself, but…What we had was special.

This tendency to apologize and hide parts of himself appear to be the result of an abusive childhood at the hands of his mother. She is someone who not only forces her religious beliefs on her child, but stalks him and tries to control him and his actions.

“...My mom called me.” “Someone gave her our address…Or she might have had one of her friends watching. I don’t know…” “S-She…Uh…She says that…To live with someone out of…Wedlock…I-It’s a sin? And I’m going to hell?” “She said I’m only doing it to…To satisfy…My manhood…” “I-I’m not taking advantage of you by doing this…Am I?”

What’s unfortunate is that even as an adult, even though Ian is aware that what she is “just being mean” to him by planting these doubts in his head and saying such awful things to him, he still listens to her. He didn’t give his mother his new address when he moved, but he still hadn’t blocked her number despite knowing this until MC helped him do so in the episode.

Sadly, I suspect that Ian might have blocked his mother’s number in the past, only to unblock her later. This is purely headcanon on my part, but it’s not uncommon for victims of abuse to block their abuser, only to unblock them in a moment of weakness, especially if the abuser uses their flying monkeys to make the victim feel guilty about blocking them. It would seem that Ian’s mother has plenty of people on her side to do just that if they’re tracking Ian’s movements and reporting back to her about what he’s doing and where he’s going.

This drawing from Sauce’s deleted twitter is presumed by some fans (including myself) to be Ian’s mother. While any art not posted on the official twitter is questionable when it regards to canon, if this is Ian’s mother, and if she’s presumably talking to Ian, then she was verbally abusive and likely insulted Ian’s looks.

Ian was not just abused by his mother over his looks and other reason, but he was bullied by his peers as well.

The only one who seemed to want a friend was the kid who never seemed to have any. That was Ian. Ian wasn’t particularly loud and he didn’t have cool clothes or toys. He just kind of faded into the background. A lot of kids made fun of him.

Years worth of bullying, abuse, and lack of friends would have an effect on Ian. He feels the need to be apologetic and is painfully insecure. He struggles even to accept that MC would want someone like him as a romantic partner, as suggested by pictures like this one.

Scars like these run deep, and it takes a long time to heal. MC is used to comforting and reassuring Ian, as suggested by the afterlife episode. Ian is, in turn, used to relying on MC’s support. MC was the one who would ask Ian’s mother if they could have sleepovers when he was too afraid to do it himself, for example.

Ian has had MC’s support for a long time - since they attended first grade together, which is typically 6-7 years of age in the USA. While we don’t know the exact age of MC and the love interests in the present, it is implied they are all college graduates, which likely puts them in around their early to mid-20s. That’s quite a long time they’ve known each other, no doubt spending a lot of time in each other’s company on a regular basis up until Ian left to study abroad.

When Ian left, he suddenly had to go without his greatest source of love and support in order to pursue his dream of becoming an actor. He had to move across the country where no one knew him and handle everything entirely on his own.

With someone as insecure as Ian, no doubt that possibility was terrifying to him.

However, Ian had gone through a “glow up.” He was no longer that “gross” kid who faded into the background; he was successful and handsome. No doubt he attracted quite a bit of positive attention from his peers, which he probably wasn’t used to.

Back in his hometown, Ian had MC by his side a lot of the time. Anyone who wanted to romantically or sexually peruse him could easily be dismissed with his partner right beside him.

But what about when they’re not around to comfort him? Sure, Ian can call MC when he feels insecure, but they’re not there to hold him when he needs it... or help him blow off steam when he gets horny. Long distance relationships are hard, and they can leave a person feeling very lonely...

What I think happened was that Ian started making friends with people at the school. He was inexperienced with socializing with others due to being bullied, and likely didn’t realize when he was being flirted with unless they were overtly obvious about it. Given his low self-esteem, it would be easy for him to assume they’re just being friendly.

It feels good too. It’s hard for someone with so much insecurity to not want to soak up such positive attention. Chances are Ian wasn’t used to it from so many people who aren’t MC. Suddenly, MC is not unique in liking him or finding him attractive.

MC was always there for Ian, reliable and supportive. Ian knows them very well. Unfortunately, this can also breed complacency, which leads to taking their relationship for granted. By contrast, these new people in his life are different, unfamiliar, and exciting.

Staying in his hometown with the same people all his life, depending on someone else, abused by his mother, Ian likely had his growth stifled in many ways, but now he was taking charge of his life for himself. He was chasing his dream, growing more social, expressing himself more in a place far outside his mother’s reach.

It would be easy to make friends at his new school where so many people his age are interested in pursuing an acting career like he is. From there he could even find those who share some of his other interests, like fashion, video games, and manga. Despite his fears, Ian flourishes in his new environment. He opens up to more people and gets closer to them in a way that he never could with people in his hometown who knew him when he was an awkward child.

What harm would it do to just enjoy having more friends for once? In fact, MC would likely encourage Ian to make friends and spend time with them. He shouldn’t have to be lonely; he should be having fun too. Unfortunately, MC is not there and thus would be unable to see when any of Ian’s new “friends” start crossing lines... or how Ian unintentionally starts crossing them himself.

Ian doesn’t want anyone to know he and MC are sexually active in the afterlife episode. He claims it’s not a secret, but at the same time he worries about MC saying anything. Does he talk about being in a relationship at all? Does he tell people MC is his partner or just his childhood friend?

In my personal headcanon, I want to give Ian the benefit of the doubt on this point and say that he did make it clear to his new school chums that he was in a relationship. Unfortunately, for some people, a committed relationship is just seen as a challenge to overcome, something that adds a bit of spice to the chase, or they simply think cheating is fine as long as the person they’re cheating on never finds out.

What I think happened to Ian was like fable about the frog not realizing the water in the pot is getting hotter until its boiled alive.

It started innocently enough with attention and time spent with people who liked him. There was the occasional flirtatious remark that went over his head, but any overt propositions were turned down. It slowly escalates as Ian makes friends. He gets used to making himself vulnerable with other people besides MC, gets used to touching them, opens up more around them... and likely starts realizing they’re attractive too.

This is when his mother’s abuse would kick in. Those thoughts would hit Ian with guilt like a sack of bricks. Was his “manhood” leading him to sinful thoughts? No, no, it couldn’t be. He is only attracted to MC! He only loves MC! He only wants MC!

But that’s because MC was his only option before, isn’t it?

(Apologies for cropping this picture, but tumblr will nuke my blog from orbit if I showed what Ian and MC are doing on the left side of the image.)

Publicly posted pictures from Sauce’s now deleted tumblr might be questionable when it comes to canon, but I find they can be useful to give insight into general character motivations and for building headcanons. I find it very telling that Ian almost makes it sound like simply being with MC was his second choice when compared to his dreams of stardom...

Ian keeps these new thrilling feelings a secret like the thing hidden underneath his bed. He buries these thoughts, denies he even has them. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean those thoughts go away... especially not when he winds up spending time with the person or persons who spark these feelings in the first place.

Ian might try to avoid them to deny these feelings, but, oh, his avoiding them hurts their feelings, and he doesn’t want to do that! He apologizes, makes it up to them... and gets closer to them in spite of himself.

Things escalate from there. There’s more touching, more closeness, more deep intimate conversations deep into the night... some friendly cuddle time perhaps... Lines are crossed that he either denies were anything but innocent or perhaps he allows himself to believe them that they don’t mean anything even if they seem to mean more... Friends kiss sometimes too, right? The French greet each other with kisses in fact!

The French really know their kisses.

Eventually, one night when Ian is spending time with one of these friends, he finds himself really enjoying their company. He doesn’t feel lonely or miss MC as much. He barely thinks of MC, so distracted by his new exciting friend before him who makes him feel so good...

One thing leads to another. It’s a night of passion, of just feeling good and wanted.

After all, it’s not the first time Ian got swept up in his own pleasure when he was feeling horny. In his sex scene in the afterlife episode, he doesn’t let MC stop giving him a blowjob. First it’s by holding their head and giving puppy dog eyes, then he gets more forceful.

I wanted to look him in the eyes, but when I threatened to stop he only doubled down and gave a solid, deeper thrust. It was almost as if he was trying to remind me what I was to be doing.

Ian knows that he shouldn’t keep going if MC wants to stop, but, as he says...

“I-I’m so sorry I just…this is the first time you’ve gotten this far…and it really does feel good..”

It’s okay if he just apologizes, right? MC always forgives him when he wants things too much. It feels good and he doesn’t want to stop... MC will understand, they always do. They understand each other the most after all...

MC doesn’t even mind being used for sexual gratification after all.

It was like being used. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I didn’t care if he WAS using me.

Because Ian and MC love each other, it’s okay if Ian does what feels good, right? MC would want that for him. They won’t mind if they feel used. They won’t mind blacking out from lack of oxygen as long as he feels good. They won’t mind if he doesn’t reciprocate and gives them pleasure as long as he says how much he loves them and cuddles them afterwards.

They won’t mind if Ian thinks of himself first.

Then the post-nut clarity hits.

Ian might have convinced himself everything up until this point meant nothing when high off of hormones and attention, but after the excitement fades, the person in bed with him isn’t his partner. Maybe they’ll cuddle him, but they won’t say, “I love you.” He doesn’t mean that much to them. They’re not MC.

There’s nothing to justify what Ian did or distract him from the consequences - he cheated. He betrayed his partner for a cheap thrill.

There is no way to soften what Ian did. Even if he might not be religious like his mother, cheating is a sin far, far worse than simply having sex before marriage. It’s one of the big top ten sins!

It’s just like his mother told him - Ian was a sinful man who just wanted to satisfy his manhood with sex.

Ian can’t handle it, any of it. He immediately calls up MC to confess. It’s the only way to fix this. They’ll forgive him, they’ll understand. They forgive his mistakes. They know him. They’ll understand he didn’t mean it. They have to. It’s the only way he can live with himself.

Not even confessing his sins can stop his betrayal from scarring MC and destroying their self-esteem along with their relationship.

In the present, Ian is trying everything he can to get MC to forgive him. Due to MC’s money issues, he likely pays for half (or more) of the rent as a means of making amends for what he did, even if they’re broken up now. MC is a cheapskate who has to rely on cheap thrift store goods and borrowed or stolen clothes from their ex who hurt them.

Maybe that’s why Ian believes that getting a new job, one that likely offers fame and money, will somehow fix what he did. He has money and can buy a lot of video games, systems, and anime merch. His wallet is thick enough for MC to mistake his 8-inch erection for it, which suggests it’s full of money. He seems like he has enough money to spend on apologies too.

What’s worse is that Ian’s betrayal, and maybe even their relationship altogether, did severe damage to MC’s self-esteem.

When Jack shows up, MC resists the idea that they feel love towards him. While they are concerned about what Jack is and whether or not he’s real, they seem more deterred by the feeling that they don’t deserve the attention of someone who loves them.

I don’t feel like I really deserve that kind of attention…You know? It doesn’t feel natural to have somebody just…Ask you to consider that.

MC also doesn’t want to use Jack as an emotional crutch. Perhaps because they felt like they were once used that way by someone...

I feel for him...But something about this is too good. I won’t use him as a bandage, to cover up the feelings I don’t want to feel.

The only romantic relationship MC ever had was with Ian. They are still suffering from heartache by the time Jack shows up. They’ll turn Nick down regardless of whether or not they’ll agree to get in a relationship with Jack.

MC trusted Ian. They loved Ian. They wanted to be with him forever. Then Ian betrayed that promise of forever for a night of cheap lust. Maybe that was enough to destroy MC’s self-esteem to this degree, but I suspect their relationship wasn’t really all that sunny.

But Ian won’t give up. He won’t let MC go so easily. He won’t let them forget him or throw him away. He’ll keep calling them, reminding them of the good times and apologizing for the bad. He won’t let them move on. He’ll do whatever it takes to prove they’re meant to be together...

Ian did a lot of damage to MC. He has a hell of a lot to make up for, and it will take a lot more than just money and fame to fix things.

That’s about it for general theorizing that can apply to all MCs from the clues we’ve been given. I know this post has gotten kind of long, but since we’re on the subject, I’m going to touch on a few headcanons I have that specifically apply to Alice and Ian’s relationship. Just so you know, these headcanons may or may not be tweaked in the future before references appear in Sunshine in Hell.

The relationship between Alice and Ian wasn’t healthy. There were plenty of good times with smiles and love, but there were also problems that only grew more and more toxic as time went on.

Alice has done a lot to please Ian and support him. She felt very bad for the abuse he suffered under his mother and how stifled he was, so she bent over backwards for him, often giving more of herself than was reasonable.

Alice has never done well in front of crowds, but because Ian wanted to be an actor and she wanted to support him, she would participate in plays alongside him. She would help him practice his parts and got good at acting in her own right. Still, her dream was to join the animation industry, but when she struggled under some crappy overly critical art teachers, Ian convinced her to just try for an acting career with him instead.

If it didn’t work out, well, they could just be together.

When Alice dropped out of acting classes after her acting teacher advised her that the only parts she could play were fat, unpleasant characters who were the butt of jokes, it shook up Ian’s confidence as well. He worried he wouldn’t be good enough, or even just good looking enough, even if the teacher praised him in a way that they didn’t with her.

Although Alice felt insecure and ugly, Ian assured her he loved her and that was what counted, not what anyone else thought. Ian didn’t want to give up acting, but he considered it after what happened to her. She didn’t want him to give up on his dream, since she didn’t really want to be an actor to begin with and being on stage with so many people watching her made her feel uncomfortable, but she couldn’t tell him that or he would feel even worse.

Alice did a lot of things that made her uncomfortable for the sake of love.

What didn’t help Alice’s feelings of self worth were all of the husbandos and waifus Ian had. She always acted like they were no big deal, as they were just fictional crushes and she had some of her own while growing up. Unfortunately, she struggled to overlook certain common traits in his choices: large chests, thin waists, and overall conventional good looks.

Alice is chubby, with a pear shaped body that makes her hips and rear much bigger than her chest. No one would ever mistake her for an anime waifu, and she knew it.

It took Alice a while before she could handle getting sexual in their relationship. She suffered from SA as a teenager and had moments where she panicked, especially in certain positions or when being restrained without warning or means of escape.

Ian would feel miserable for triggering her trauma and would apologize profusely for it, blaming himself and thinking the absolute worst of himself. Alice, in turn, would feel guilty for turning something that was supposed to be an expression of love into something awful for the both of them. Moments that should have been just about expressing love physically just made Ian feel like an awful person instead, and she would need to reassure him that he wasn’t. It made her more determined to suppress her trauma and be more proactive when it came to physically intimacy for the sake of their love.

Alice loved Ian, and she was willing to do just about anything for him.

Ian was rough in bed once they got going, and Alice did her best to tolerate it. She focused instead on how flattering and exciting it was that the person she loved desired her to the point that he lost control over himself. She believed that noone else would ever feel this way about her but Ian. What they had was special, irreplaceable. She got better at not freaking out when he took away her control in the heat of passion. She tolerated choking until nearly passing out and the pain that would always come initially when being penetrated.

Neither of them had any point of reference for having sex besides sex education classes, experimenting with each other, and ecchi. In ecchi/hentai, the person on the bottom would almost always be in pain at the start of penetrative sex, particularly during their first time, but would feel good in the end. That was just how sex worked, right? Pain was just an unavoidable price to pay to feel pleasure and express their love physically, right?

Just a quick aside, no, sex is not supposed to be painful unless you want it to be. In that case, it’s BDSM, and it requires a lot of communication as well as safe words to do it in a healthy manner.

Ian never meant for Alice to feel bad. He just loved her so much that he got carried away in the moment, and he was so good at aftercare, which made up for any pain and panic. She adored how sweet he could be afterwards, so loving, kind, and cuddly, so she always reassure him that she was okay... even if she wasn’t really.

Alice learned to complain less and less over the years as she grew up with Ian because he was suffering from so much, and it felt like she had nowhere near as much to complain about. He would feel so miserable if she had a problem and he felt helpless that he could do anything about it. He was dealing with so much, she couldn’t bear to burden him with things that troubled her when he couldn’t handle it, not when he needed her support so badly. She had a big family who loved her and could support her, unlike Ian. Without her, Ian would have no one. He never meant to hurt her, and he always apologized when he did.

That was why, even after being cheated on, Alice tried to forgive Ian.

The woman Ian cheated with was gorgeous, thin, and had big breasts. She was someone who was far more forward and confident when it came to sex, so much more appealing than Alice was, at least in her opinion. She felt pangs of paranoia and jealousy towards this woman’s behavior towards Ian in pictures on their socials and how much he talked about her as well as others even before the affair, but she always managed to talk herself down from suspecting anything seriously. She trusted Ian. What they had was different, real. They knew each other for so long, far more intimately than anyone else. Their love was deeper than anyone could understand, and she believed him when he swore up and down that he only could ever want her romantically or sexually.

It was a mistake. Ian messed up. It’s just how it’s always been - he makes a mistake, apologizes sincerely, reassures Alice he loves her, and she would forgive him. He always has good intentions, he just is clumsy at times, makes mistakes. This was just another mistake.

Besides, it wasn’t like Alice was perfect either. She had a crush on that camp councilor when they were tweens, and it made Ian feel bad because he had been crushing on her while she was gushing about her crush to him, oblivious to his feelings. This was kind of how he felt back then, right? She was just experiencing it from the other side now. Something like this was just a passing fancy. They could recover from this, right? Right?

But they couldn’t. Trust had been broken. All the problems in their relationship that Alice overlooked because she trusted Ian and loved him came in sharp relief, made even worse now by his betrayal.

Alice really did try to make it work, but in the end, she realized, with the help of friends and family, that what she and Ian had wasn’t healthy. They were caught in a toxic cycle of hurt feelings and apologies, clinging to each other for the sake of “love” until their relationship had grown twisted and was slowly destroying both of them.

The hardest thing Alice ever had to do was end the relationship, and even then she cracked under the pressure of Ian’s crying and begging for her not to leave him. She softened it by saying that they were broken up “for now.” Right now things were too painful, too raw. They needed space to focus on themselves as individuals instead of as a couple. If there was any chance of them being together, they needed time apart to heal.

Unfortunately, Alice can’t imagine them getting back together, not when just the thought of Ian hurts like hell.

[etherealphosphor]

Venti’s Dilemma

⟡ Contains: Venti x Gn!Reader, Sfw, Fluff, Reader is critical of themselves

Something about you had always stuck out to Venti, and he didn’t quite know what. Perhaps it was how the wind blew in your hair? Or was it how you laughed at all of his jokes? Maybe it was how you’d always bring him back to your place after he got too drunk, insisting that you’d take the couch so he could have a good night’s sleep.

Whatever it was, Venti knew one thing for sure: He was hopelessly in love with you. But what kind of archon falls in love with a mortal? Venti had read his fair share of legends, and he knew that it would only end in heartbreak. That’s how it always was. But no matter how many times he told himself that he could never love you, he just couldn’t bear to distance himself from you.

Venti cursed himself for his abysmal self-control, but the fact of the matter was, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. Your hair, your eyes, your smile—it all made him weak in the knees. He tried everything to vent his emotions, hoping they would disappear. He wrote his thoughts down, sang songs about how he felt, went to the library and checked out every book on romantic advice, and even went to talk to Zhongli about it. Nothing. None of it worked.

The way you sweetly called his name was enough to make him scrap all of his research. Which was a shame, since do you know how awkward it is to ask Zhongli for advice on romance!? And the looks Venti got from Lisa after checking those books out were enough to keep him out of the library for at least a month. Alas, his feelings couldn't be ignored.

Venti knew that he had to tell you about how he felt at some point, and he assured himself that you would definitely reject him and that he would have his peace of mind in the end. However, deep down, he actually wished for your affection.

One night, he decided to invite you out for a drink. You accepted happily, glad to spend more time with him. It was always nice to listen to him talk as he got progressively more drunk; it was quite endearing in an odd sort of way. This time, though, Venti barely touched his drink. That was a first. You started to wonder if something was wrong before he asked you to accompany him outside.

You agreed, but you were concerned and curious about what he needed to talk to you about. Venti took your hand in his, leading you to a very lovely bench in Whispering Woods. It was a nice bench; however, it was clear that Venti didn’t want to take you there just for small talk. You turned to look at him, waiting for him to speak. Despite reading all of those books on romance, Venti still had no idea how to begin to tell you about his feelings, and he was getting quite a bit nervous.

"I—uh.. I brought you here because.. uhm.. I wanted to talk to you about—" He paused and then changed the subject, saying, "Erm, the moon is nice, isn’t it?"

You kept looking at him, your interest piqued. What did he have to tell you that was so important? It was not unusual for Venti to stumble over his words, but never like this.

"Yes, the moon is quite nice tonight. Though, Venti, you didn’t just bring me out here to see it, did you? Is there something on your mind? You can talk to me, you know." You said this, reaching out your hand to feel Venti’s forehead for a fever. While this was an odd thing to do, it was second nature to you as an adventurer whenever someone was acting off and looked a little flushed.

Venti’s face only got redder, and he breathed a silent sigh of relief when you took your hand away. How could he ever get through this conversation when his heart was beating so fast?

"Hm, not a fever, then? Just nerves?" You said. This was half a question and half an observation.

"Mhm.. please [Name], don’t worry yourself. I’m not sick." Venti looked down at the ground. He knew that if he gazed into your eyes, he would never get this conversation over with. "I just need to tell you something important. Really important."

You were getting more curious by the minute; what could Venti possibly have to say to you? You were being more than a little dense, taking things at face value rather than looking deeper into what they could mean. "Alright, what is it?"

Venti looked up from the ground, and he accidentally made direct eye contact with you. "I—uh.. well," Venti continued to stutter, quickly looking away again. Then he took a deep breath and said it. "I like you, [Name]."

Your eyes widened a little. What? The man before you had his face in his hands now, absolutely mortified. "Wait.. Venti? Do you mean that you—"

"Yes, [Name]. I really like you. And please don’t say anything. Don’t tell me how you don’t feel the same; I already know you don’t. I just wanted to get it off my chest." Venti said it very quickly, sounding a little panicked.

You sat there in shock and replied, "Venti, you’re an archon, and I’m a mortal; you—"

Venti cut you off again. "I know; I know it won’t work out. You don’t need to remind me. A god and a mortal? That’s crazy, right?" Venti’s voice shook a little, and tears came to his eyes.

Seeing him on the verge of tears broke your heart. You quickly embraced him, wrapping your arms around his body. "No, Venti. That’s not it."

Venti looked at you, surprised. "What..?"

"I like you too, Venti. I really do. I wasn’t trying to tell you that a relationship between us wouldn’t work out; I was just wondering why you would pick me." You stroked Venti’s hair gently, trying to soothe him.

"Wha—you like me? Really..? What do you mean you don’t know why I’d pick you?" Venti looked at you with moonlight reflected in his eyes.

"I mean, look at you; you’re the Anemo Archon; all the people in Mondstadt admire you. You have festivals, traditions, songs, and so much more. Why would someone as important as you ever like me?"

Venti was a little shocked at your response, "[Name], I’m really not as important as you say I am; the people just—"

You cut him off. "You’re that important to me."

Venti blushed a little more; your comments were like kindling for the flame inside of him. "My point still stands. There’s no reason why I wouldn’t like you, [Name]. My fancy title doesn’t make a difference to how I feel."

You stopped hugging him, staring at your feet. "Well, it should."

Venti couldn’t take it when you said stuff like that. You were always so critical of yourself, and he never knew why. He always thought you were amazing just the way you were.

"Look at me, [Name]." His voice was serious but had a comforting tone at the same time.

You looked up into those green eyes of his; the full moon was reflected in them. Quickly, Venti took your face in his hands and pressed his lips against yours. You were a little surprised at first, but quickly leaned into the kiss and wrapped your arms around Venti again.

"I’m never going to let anyone speak to you like that again, not even yourself." Venti said, catching his breath.

"Good luck with that." You smiled before going back in for another kiss.

You and Venti stayed like that for a while, embracing each other under the moonlight.

[iiyone]

super long hc rant (mostly from my old tweets when the og ct was released)

hyde would buy gala a toothbrush but he wouldn't lend him toothpaste

gala pet hyde's hair at least once but not vice versa

hyde has definitely had a bad drinking habit

after his retirement, gala has been sleeping in a park

stray cats were his roommate

hyde hired gala as his driver to keep him inside a house

hyde got annoyed about gala befriending stray cats, and when he told gala not to bring them to the apartment, gala smirked to himself

when gala drove hyde home late at night, hyde offered gala a couch (which looks more expensive than an entire year's rent of gala's apartment) and a blanket for sleep

gala took off his shirts and tie, put a blanket under his body, wrapped himself in his jacket, and slept

the first time gala met hyde, gala took heavily drunk hyde home and hyde threw up everything on him (this is another reason he doesn't like drinking)

after gala cleaned up everything hyde bought gala a meal (he ate a lot) and went back home and when hyde casually got a pack of blood from the fridge gala had a awful flashback and threw up everything on the floor

hyde cleaned up everything and said "you owe me one" despite the fact he’s the first one who threw up everything

there was once a time hyde was heavily drunk and gala was trying to take him home and was mistaken for a nasty werewolf robbing a rich vampire

hyde thinks people are rude because gala would never do a robbery and gala said he would do that if he couldn't keep living and he was just lucky enough to have a job and keep a roof over his head

hyde doing research on how to favor his fans by watching anime and that’s the reason why he acts intimidating on tomochill and explains it to gala but gala can’t get it because werewolves have been assured they are just a bunch of brute

when they were watching a corny romcom based on a manga targeted at teen girls which the romantic interest is a popular and rude boy but turns out he's soft and lonely, gala mercilessly pointed out "lmao it's you" and hyde absolutely hated it

they both think their unnamed relationship will end (become not-so-close friends) once one of them finds something they value so much but it didn't happen

maybe-canon stuff

hyde loves wearing gold because, though silver would look good on him if he wears silver people can't stop asking if he's immune to silver

hyde knows what he's doing on tomochill, considering he wrote his posts in all lower case when he lived for centuries and should know how to write in a proper manner, even in multiple languages, and gala is just confused like "hey what's wrong with you" is peak comedy

hyde gave gala the tie pin he wore at the wedding

gala is the friend who told hyde the lie about hot hardcore werewolves BDSM (they obviously have a kind of relationship which they keep referring to each other as "someone" even in front of the other)

[foxes-that-run]

From the Dining Table

Note the subtle tattoo kiss. Like MMIH, Harry hasn't played FTDT live since 2018. Harry told the Grammy Museum:

Styles’ favorite track on the album is “From the Dining Table,” which he said is, “The one that makes me feel the most,” adding that, “it’s the most different than what I expected myself to write and it’s probably the most honest that I’ve been in a song as well.”

To Rolling Stone he said:

"The more vulnerable the song, he learned, the better. “The one subject that hits the hardest is love,” he says, “whether it’s platonic, romantic, loving it, gaining it, losing it  …  it always hits you hardest. I don’t think people want to hear me talk about going to bars, and how great everything is. The champagne popping  …  who wants to hear about it? I don’t want to hear my favorite artists talk about all the amazing shit they get to do. I want to hear, ‘How did you feel when you were alone in that hotel room, because you chose to be alone?'”

This quote is interesting because the song is self-aware of the wrong choice to be with be with someone who looked like his muse.

Why is it called from the Dining Table

When performing the album in his first ever solo show Harry introduced from the dining table by explaining it was written at the dining table in Jamaica and it kept the name.

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Woke up alone in this hotel room Played with myself, where were you? Fell back to sleep, I got drunk by noon I've never felt less cool

The open is remicinet of his comments to Rolling Stone above. So many One Direction songs, in particular Perfect portrayed that fun image of "trouble up in hotel rooms". FTDT strips it away to leave a lonely 22 year old guy who lost someone he loves and misses and does not feel cool. To me, what's special here is addressing some misconceptions about his life and what being that guy cost him.

[Chorus] We haven't spoke since you went away Comfortable silence is so overrated Why won't you ever be the first one to break? Even my phone misses your call, by the way

Harry and Taylor sing a lot about never communicating, and have said in interviews that they can say things to an instrument but not each other.

[Verse 2] I saw your friend that you know from work He said you feel just fine I see you gave him my old t-shirt More of what was once mine

Taylor's friend from work is often thought to be Ed, however Ed was Harry's friend first, and more a personal than a work friend to both.

When Harry was starting his Debut album he worked with a lot of music producers, including Max Martin, who worked in 1989. Harry spent a week with him in November 2016 before starting to work Tom and Tyler.

There are several shirts of Harry's that Taylor's worn and could have given to Max. To me, it's this Genius Jumper, which Max has worn, she lent to to lots of friends before it disappeared. have no reason to think Harry ever wore it though, other than it is a UK high street brand and it looks like the Cardigan-cardigan.

[Bridge] Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too x3 But you, you never do Woke up the girl who looked just like you I almost said your name

1989 largely focuses on Taylors experience, in her later work she has reflected more on how things played out in tracks like Afterglow, Coney Island and The 1.

At the end of 2014:

October 1989 was released, Taylor jaded in interviews, November 1D released Four with Stockholm Syndrome and Fool's Gold. Harry and Taylor had been hanging out, made heart eyes at the AMAs

2 December may have left the VS Secret show together, (So it Goes, Pick you up). On that, this is the closing track, Ready for it is the opening track of the next album in order.

22 December - HS pictured with VS model Nadine Leopold, this was in NYC before he bought an apartment there. She looks well...

So I think this song is set in late 2014 rather than the boat, though I must admit I still imagine it in the Virgin Islands.

[wonwoosthetic]

just reread the mimiwon smut pt 2 and was just wondering what was the stuff that wonwoo found in minnie’s search history? 😳

< masterlist

Hehe

Alright, SO

since the whole poly!mimiwon (feel free to vote and help me make a decision ˙ᵕ˙) discussion isn’t finished yet and I’m still not sure about writing it since the poll is still very very even for both ‘no’ and ‘yes’, I’m just gonna tell you what I thought of when I wrote it ˙ᵕ˙ :

So basically, as mentioned in the chapters, the three of them had been VERY aware of the slight tension between each other. They’ve obviously been good friends for a while and stuff, and moved in together for that exact reason. But even before that, they would sometimes joke around about being together all the time and, especially when drunk, be extremely clingy - like even more than seventeen already is with each other. Even member started commenting on it jokingly saying how they’re basically attached by the hips at that point, which eventually lead to them moving in together bc they just got along extremely well and had great chemistry as friends.

If only they knew that them being together even more and closer than ever (since they lived in different dorm before) would just enhance the tension.

A lot more ‘awkward moments’ happened where one would suddenly be on top of the other after a play fight, seeing each other in underwear accidentally suddenly felt much more intimate than before, etc. etc.

Now, since they all started noticing ‘it’, Minnie got very interested in what ‘that’ exactly was. She wasn’t sure if she should feel bad that there was this tension all of a sudden, or if there actually was this slight bit of excitement in her stomach whenever Mingyu got just a little too close to her since she was in a very happy relationship or if she was just imagining it.

So, what do you do if you’re not sure about what you’re feeling or supposed to feel/do? Exactly. You ask the internet. So she did. She searched different things until she stumbled upon something people would describe as a “sexual desire” rather than “romantic desire”, basically meaning you can have romantic interest in someone (like a boyfriend or girlfriend) but still be sexually interested in someone else.

That only awakened her interest even more, making her fall into a rabbit hole of stories of people who were in a poly!relationship, reading tips on it, even though she didn’t really need it, but was just interested in it. That went so far until she landed on a website, showing her the best sex positions for those couples that wanted to experience in a sexual poly!relationship (even if just for a one time only threesome).

Too bad that in exact that moment, her mother called her, wanting to catch up, which turned into them talking for HOURS. Minnie closed her laptop and left it on the coffee table in the living room, not really thinking much of it. Then she started walking around the apartment, ending up in her bedroom, still on the phone. What she didn’t realise was that the guys had gotten home and Wonwoo had made himself comfortable on the couch. Once he saw the laptop in front of him, he wanted to look something up himself, remembering that Minnie had complained about a problem a few days prior. So, he took it, opened it and oh well… he saw everything. All the open tabs, everything she had looked at. He did feel guilty at first, definitely feeling like he was maybe stepping too far into her privacy, but he started getting intrigued and it slightly amused him, knowing that she was interested in such a thing - his jealousy definitely did make an appearance though as well haha

Not wanting to snoop too much or put her into an uncomfortable position, he closed the laptop again, put it back and didn’t speak about it again until they went through with her fantasies.

Girly had the biggest heart attack when she found him sitting on the couch, but since he didn’t say anything, she brushed it off and thought he didn’t go on her computer.

What Minnie had looked at didn’t leave his mind though for DAYS, up to the point where he himself started looking up positions and just stuff in general he remembered seeing on her laptop screen and he was definitely getting interested. And well, you know what happened then ˙ᵕ˙

Taglist: @shrynkk @chaebb @lunarxsun @hoe4wonwoo @kimhyejin3108 @soobzao @billboard-singer @cosmicwintr @zwiehe @angie-x3 @smooore @allthings-fandoms

[diazley]

What I don't like about any of the relationships Buck and Eddie have had is the relationship their love interests have had with the other, that is, their best friend.

As someone who values their friendships a lot and see their best friends as platonic soulmates, if I did have a partner, I'd want my partner and best friend to not only get along, but be good friends as they're both important people in my life and both of them will have to see each other quite often since I will spend most of my time with them.

(The ideal relationship between a LI and best friend would be like the relationship Patrick and Alex from Schitt's Creek have, where they hang out without David, roast David together and just have a really fun time together with/without David.)

We haven't seen Chim and Karen hang out a lot, but they've known each other a long time and have known each other separately outside of Hen and Karen's relationship. He set them up because be knew Karen enough to know that her and Hen would make a good match. And we might not have seen them spend a lot of time together, but we have seen them get drunk together. Karen thought Hen was cheating on her and immediately went to Chim because she's close enough to him to talk about Hen and he knows Hen well. Hence we can assume they are very close and are good friends.

It can also be assumed that she is very close to the rest of the firefam with what we've seen in the show.

In Athena's case, just like in Karen's case like how she knew Chim before being in a relationship with his best friend, she knew and was friends with Hen before even meeting Bobby. And she's always had a close relationship with the firefam as a whole because of calls and of course because of Bobby, but we've also seen evidence that she's close to each and every single one of them (I think we've barely seen Chimney and Athena interact, if not at all, but Bobby and Athena literally host parties all the time and Athena visits the firehouse more often than not and by way of Hen, there's no way they're not close).

Now if we look at all of Buck and Eddie's romantic relationships, Abby and Taylor are the only ones who have even interacted with the firefam. Shannon, Ali and Ana most probably have interacted with them but we haven't seen any instances of them interacting with the firefam as a whole if I remember correctly (Shannon once stormed into the firehouse to see Eddie, I don't think we've ever since Ali talk to anyone in the firefam except Eddie, and we've seen Ana talk to Ravi that one time)

Abby

In Buck n Eddie case, their relationships to each other's partners have not been friendships but acquaintanceships

Eddie disliked Taylor for obvious reasons. Everybody did.

We've seen Eddie talking to Ali during the earthquake rescue but never after that. He could've talked to her offscreen but my point is they were not close. They were acquaintances at best.

Abby had a relationship with the firefam, wouldn't see a great one but they acknowledged her and they got along even though they didn't see her as an extended family member like they see Karen.

If they don't make Buddie canon, and they're planning on bringing new love interests in the future then I would like to see that kind of relationship play out.

It does not seem logical to introduce a new LI who will form a close relationship with the firefam even though it is possible and time consuming.

So Buddie IS the most logical way to go at this point of the show, but that's up to the writers and I'm not at all sure they'll go for it cuz I have trust issues (victim of the Supernatural Queerbait Destiel Disaster). But that's just me. So have faith, o ye Buddie fans, for all hope is not lost until the show has ended.

TL;DR: Biggest issue I've had with all of Buck and Eddie's romantic relationships is that their lovers have never had a close relationship with Eddie and Buck respectively and/or the firefam.

Also, as a side note, I really wanna see Maddie n Eddie interact.

And Maddie and Karen.

And Buck and Karen (have we ever seen them talk to each other? This is unforgivable!)

This was rather poorly written. I don't know how comprehensive it is because I was too lazy to edit it properly. So if you read this till the end, thank you so much. This is for you 🌹

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

So I went to watch that infamous Jenny and Beau scene from 3x13 for writing purposes. I haven't seen past 3x10 (having abandoned the show after that mid-season finale) and I'd heard about what happened, read both Elwood Reid's and Jensen Ackles' interviews on it, but never actually watched the scene.

Me after the scene:

That was their big romantic moment that got all AA's wetting their seats and lobbying hard for this pairing online?

Not only is Jenny incredibly thirsty in this scene but the way Jensen plays the scene, Beau still has absolutely zero interest in this woman romantically. He's not in love with her. He literally came by to thank her for supporting him, being there as not only his coworker but also his friend. Jensen knows very well how to play off being in love with someone, even as a guy who's just looking for a roll in the bedsheets (Dean Winchester, anyone?). NONE of that happened here.

Even this big emotional intimacy reveal didn't happen. He simply agreed to talk to her about his past, but only once he'd drunk himself to a point that he could. That's not choosing to let someone in, that's saying 'I need to get fucked up before I delve into that' which doesn't constitute full on consent or agreement. And this show is so horribly bad that apparently he refused to talk to his own daughter about it when she asked him point blank, but here he has to get drunk.

Then the hand on the leg. Yes, Beau initiated but Jensen performed it in a way that it was a friend assuring another friend. His hand is on her knee, saying he'd do the same for her any damn day. Then you see just how delighted Jenny is with the touching and she covers his hand with hers. Granted, he doesn't move away and he even looks down at their hands for a moment, which you'd think, okay yeah there's maybe something there though this is weird given how the scene is being performed from Jensen's end. And THEN Jenny turns to look at him and he IMMEDIATELY looks away. He has every opportunity to lean in, to kiss her, to make some sort of move, even just share a smile with her or keep looking into her eyes, but he doesn't.

This whole scene was Jenny initiating everything except Beau's arrival and insisting it wasn't about work. Jenny offered up the beer. Jenny slinked away from the door with a sultry "Welcome". Jenny sat on the couch first. Jenny moved right up against Beau. Jenny initiated the hand holding. Jenny is the one who looked over at him post-hand holding first.

Her doing all of that and him not returning it does not equal his being in love with her. It only shows that she has feelings for him, something we already knew. And the kicker: Beau is still keeping her at arm's length, shutting her out. That's evidenced by the way Jensen played off that looking away, that snap of the head. Plus, the whole having to be drunk thing I mentioned above.

NO WONDER Jensen said what he said in his interview, implicating sexual/physical tones to what he thought the audience expected to see, why he said he personally felt that Beau would've followed Carla and Emily back to Houston. Not only did he truly understand his character (though it seems the show botched it in these last few episodes from what I heard, on many levels) but just like with Dean's primary motivations, he understood what Beau's primary motivation was: Emily/family. No way in hell would Beau stay where Emily wasn't, for a woman that we saw him attracted to but not have any real emotional feelings for outside of friendship. I'm not saying the writers didn't have the intention to make this romantic and guaranteed they think they pulled it off here, but the entire scene shows the exact opposite, right down to Jensen's performance and the dialogue. No wonder he and Katheryn had to thoroughly discuss it and work at it to try to get it right.

I think I may have to watch these last three episodes at some point because holy hell, that was hysterical and I could use a good laugh. AA's really do make mountains out of bread crumbs.

On the other hand, it irritates me because this show had such potential starting back in season 1 and bringing Jensen, Reba, Rex, Henry, etc on board, there was potential to inject some life back into it with the addition of such great characters written that these awesome actors would have played. I blame a lot of it on Elwood, the writers, but I also blame the AA's. They pushed so hard for their self-insert character to hook up with Beau, that these desperate people making the show wanting to save it as well as their jobs ended up tanking this whole season, which brought the show down in flames. Pushing one of the mains aside and ruining the other man's character to make her all about a man. So it's no surprise to me that this was cancelled.

And all of that pushing only to end up with a friendly thank you and momentary hand hold, where Beau is still not completely giving Jenny what she's been aiming hard for this entire season. That is just beyond pathetic.

Well, AA's

RIP Jenny Hoyt. I loved your character before it became all about the pursuit of one man. RIP Poppernak, you were one of my favorites. RIP more heartwarming Beau and Emily father-daughter relationship potential along with him telling her what really happened in Houston (the only one that really deserved to know imho). RIP Big Sky, you had potential that could have easily been found again had AA's not infected the social media engagement of the show and your showrunner been desperate.

I will miss you. See you in fanfiction, I guess.

[khodorkovskaya]

23.06.23

oh my god i saw my zurich friend yesterday and i have so much tea to spill.

so i was super excited to see him and i haven't seen him since my birthday and the whole day i was like ":)))) im gonna see my zurich friend yayyyy".

and okay a bit of context: so remember how i went to lugano for a business trip and on the train there we were texting back and forth with my zurich friend. and he was telling me about this greek girl he's been courting. but she rejected him bc he told her about how he got drunk when he was 15. the whole story was v weird. because she honestly came off as quite indecisive and pseudomoralistic. like who cares about getting drunk as a teenager 10 years ago? but anyway, it felt like she was just looking for an excuse to reject him bc she simply didn't like him that much. and so when we were talking that one time, he was saying how he wanted to text her and i was like nooo don't text her, no means no, she doesn't want you, leave her alone.

so fast forward to about a week ago. my friend and i are talking on insta and i ask him what he's been up to. and he says he went to lugano. and i was like oooo how was the trip? send pics? and he's the type of person who talks a lot over messages. like you ask him "what's up" and he sends paragraphs. but this time he just sends 3 pics of the lake in lugano and that's it. so i was like okay, he's probably busy, whatever, maybe the trip wasn't that interesting. i didn't think much of it tbh.

and last night we go out for a drink, start off with small talk like ohh how are things, how's uni, etc. and i ask him how his trip to lugano went.

and he goes red in the face, starts looking around and laughing nervously. and says "it was nice".

and im like bestie what's going on.

and he's like sweating, blushing, all of it. and says "yeah yeah no the trip was nice".

and im like 🤨

and he takes a deep breath and says "yeahhhhh i went with the greek girl".

and im like bro

didn't she reject you what happened

and he's like "yeah she ended up coming with me. i was planning on going alone but she came along" and like uhhh how does one """end up coming along""" on a trip to another city? likee that's sus

so i look at him like 🤨🤨🤨

and he's like "yeahhh, she had this look in her eyes. like it wasn't like before. like she was looking at me and she had this look like her eyes like she was looking at me in such a way. and we don't even know how it happened. but yeah. it was the look."

so they had SEX in lugano!!!!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱😱

and i was like nice congrats bro. cos he's been chasing after this girl for yearsss. and the problem was that she had no experience with men and he was her first kiss and yeah. and my friend isn't the most experienced guy when it comes to women either. like he's not a hookup kind of guy, as far as i know. and he's young and insecure about that kind of stuff, which is fine, we all are at our age. but yeah, he's a bit awkward.

so i was like "so you guys are like officially a thing now?" because tht was the point, right? like all of this going to the opera and holding hands was to be with this girl romantically, right???

and he hits me with "yeahhh i think it's best if we stay friends. im not attracted to her anymore *gestures at his lower stomach area* and i wouldn't mind having intimacy with someone else. and if i do have intimacy with someone else, im gonna tell her. like andrew tate would approve, you know?"

and im like wait wait wait

so he wouldn't leave this girl alone for like a year, despite her rejecting him on numerous occasions. he took her virginity. and now "let's stay friends"??? like

so i was like "how about you don't 'have intimacy' with anyone"? like just keep your zizi in your pants, you know? it's not that hard. well maybe it is but you know, control yourself.

but yeah i was v disappointed with him. bc ive always had a feeling that he has a dark side. like he comes off as too normal and that's sus, you know what i mean? and plus he's like really emotionally constipated. like he's all "smart guy with glasses", "i go to the opera and play tennis" type of guy. but like im convinced that deep down he's a freak. like there's something about him idk how to describe it. i just have this gut feeling that he's full of secrets. and i have to admit, there is something sexy about that, but like i would not want to be his girlfriend, you know what i mean?

and his whole thing with the greek girl really gave me the ick. i was like jeez. like maybe im a bad friend to him, but i really feel bad for the girl. bc from what he's been telling me and despite her indecisiveness, it was pretty clear that she wasn't super into him. and he was really pushy. and now that she gave in he's like ready to move onto the next thing.

and maybe it's an insecurity thing. bc if his feelings for her just went away like that, maybe he wasn't that interested in her in the first place. she was hard to get and it was a challenge and now that he got what his wanted it's all over. and for a sort of awkward guy like him, maybe that was his goal. bc, for example, with his ex gf it was easy. she was this cute nice girl, nothing special. like he didn't have to chase her, nor was she like super attractive. and that was probably frustrating for him.

idk overall im a bit disappointed bc i feel like i held him to a higher standard. but all men are the same i swear.