#but was only still living bc he had things to settle and people he couldn't simply leave behind. and a.lta struggles with that a Lot -

[bakugoushotwife]

kinktober day four: voyeurism kink

>>> guys can you tell i have a choso fantasy or do i need to write another five thousand word fic to prove it i'm sobbing and actually in love with him fr. it took me days to write this bc i was just too feral.

>>> starring: choso kamo x curvy!fem!reader >>> cw: roommate choso, hung like a horse choso, virgin choso, voyeurism clearly, petnames, masturbation, cowgirl, implied multiple rounds, choso whimpers you're so welcome, choso smokes a blunt grow up >>> wc: 4.8k >>> event masterlist

this whole roommate ordeal seemed easy enough. you had a spare room in your condo, yuji had a spare brother that needed a place to stay after graduation. it worked out perfectly, as you weren’t too keen on having a rando move in. though the half-curse was little more than that, really. you had only come in contact with choso briefly, seeing him move through the halls of jujutsu tech in search of the very brother that recommended him to you. he was intimidating, tall and broad with a look of disinterest across his face every time you ran into him. yuji had told you that he wasn’t necessarily unfriendly, just unsure, so you were weary to approach him once he moved into the spare room. you didn’t want to overdo it, you would hate to make him uncomfortable with all these changes he was getting accustomed to. so for the first three months or so, you two would only exchange pleasantries and nod respectfully, two strangers sharing an address and lingering curious stares. then, one morning you offered to make him breakfast, and you two settled into a comfortable friendship after that. 

Nowadays, nearly a year later, the living area was actually used and shared. you watched recommended shows together, introduced each other to your favorite movies, and oftentimes just sat in each other’s presence on the couch; on your phones, playing nintendo switch games, or passing choso’s best attempt at a blunt between you while shit talking your neighbors with your legs in his lap. you even encouraged him to invest in a real gaming setup, where he plays a host of different games for hours while you sit contently in the bean bag chair stationed nearby in his room, reading or crafting or just watching from time to time. the more comfortable he became, the more fun he was to be around. he was no longer shy to ask you to sit with him while he plays or to inquire about your latest book and his smiles and conversations flowed more freely. 

he enjoys your presence. it’s easy to be around you. he wonders why. even with all the progress he had made with you, he was still terribly awkward around new people and his social battery was limited. he never got tired of hanging out with you though, in fact, he craves it always. yuji says that it’s because you’re pretty, which choso can’t disagree with, though his brother’s statement irritates him for no good reason. 

he finds himself wondering if his brother knows you the way he does, silly things about you like which animal crossing character you would reincarnate as or the fact you hate grape flavored anything—it all tastes like cough syrup!--he can hear you say. no, he gets to see the real you, the one you reserve just for him. so yuji can think you’re pretty all he wants, but he’s the one who gets to see your breathtaking smiles in reaction to something he said.

“bro?! still there–or are you too busy being jealous?” yuji snickers, relishing in the match he made. he knew choso would wake up with a babe like you walking around. 

“you’re a child. and a dick.” he huffs, aggravated by his spacey sibling’s acute sense of his feelings. “goodbye.” he taps to end their weekly gaming marathon facetime two hours short out of annoyance, confronted with the silence of his bedroom and his questioning thoughts about you. jealous? as much as he hated to admit it, maybe he was. he couldn't even picture the thought of you being with someone else, try as he might. did that mean he wanted to be that person? your person? he’s so confused, but he knows even if he’s embarrassed he can talk to you about it. you could help him work through his feelings and come to a solution. even if the feelings were about you, he knows you would always be honest with him. he sighs, deciding to make his way to your room down the hall. 

you two didn’t spend a lot of time apart now that the bond had been created, and you were more than alright with that routine, because on fridays, choso holed up in his room for five straight hours to facetime yuji and play video games giving you some much needed time to yourself. you always started with a long and intricate shower, doing all your different exfoliants and masks. then you’d touch up your nails and give yourself a total spa treatment, finishing up by putting on your cutest little panties and releasing some of the pent up sexual frustration for your roommate that you keep under lock and key for the same reasons you were hesitant to cross into friendship territory all those months ago: you don’t want to scare him away. 

so you settle for your own small hands cupping your chest and pinching at your nipples, trying to picture him. It’s choso’s large and veiny hands that run down your sides and spread your legs instead of your own toying with your underwear. you can smell the versace eros cologne he wears wafting through your nose, almost able to hear his gravelly voice in your ear praising you for doing so good. it’s almost embarrassing how easy it is to conjure the image of him sinking between your thighs, lust pooling in his violet eyes. you’re soaked already, feeling the fabric of your panties sticking to your cunt just at your active imagination. you peel them off, hissing as cold air blows across your middle, but your fingers quickly find the heat of your hole, gathering that natural lube to flick your clit with. your eyes are closed—whining helplessly already at the sensation you bring yourself with him in mind. it’s nowhere near the real deal, but the bliss is good enough to lull pants of his name from your mouth, body light as air.

choso doesn’t think anything of your closed door. you told him you keep it closed to let him have his space, not wanting him to feel like you’re watching or eavesdropping on him while he’s on the phone. especially as he got close enough to reach for your door handle, hearing you call his name. you sounded…strained? in all honesty he was worried. so he doesn’t hesitate to push the door open a bit, peeking to check. his heart drops into his stomach at the sight of you naked on your bed. you’re stunning. he’s seen pictures of other women—and yuji showed him a few websites—but your body was second to none. his hand flew to cover his immediate hard on, shocked you hadn’t noticed him yet. fuck, you are gorgeous, one hand squeezing at your breast, the other playing around in that squelching noise he hears between your legs. he fights the urge to moan aloud or announce his presence, and he’s ashamed of himself. he feels like he’s betraying your trust, but his dick keeps growing in his pants at the chants of his name spilling out of your lips. he watches as your legs jerk and your head falls back against your pillow, making him think you were almost done. he had to get out before you saw him or felt his unique energy so close to you. he’s panting as he shuts the door quietly, turning the knob just so it wouldn’t alert you. 

his dick hurts as he makes it just one room down—the bathroom. perfect. he turns the shower on immediately, stripping his clothes off like they were on fire. he had set out to talk to you, to be completely honest about the thoughts he had been having, but seeing you like that did things to him words could not. he’s been horny before, of course, and dealt with that the way single human men do. but this—the desire coursing through his veins—this was different. so different. everything was clear now, he needed you. he stands with his back under the water, whimpering as his dick throbs to the mental image of your glistening pussy and blissed out face. he can’t help but close his fist around the his wide shaft, stuttering out a sigh in relief. he strokes himself to the same rhythm you moved your fingers, imagining how that pace would feel with your wet and warm cunt hugging him in instead of the rough surface of his hand. his other hand keeps him braced on the shower wall, steadying him through the searing heat the promises of your touch seem to be; to think that you were calling for him, thinking of him in the way he thinks of you now felt like a dream. he had to be hearing things, that’s the only excuse the man can summon. water beads down his biceps and chest, and it just makes his dirty deed all that much more so, fucking into his fist until his load is running down the side of the tub, the pearly beads getting swept away in the water and carried down the drain. he tosses his head back in the shower stream, his long black strands sticking to his face and neck as he tries to rinse away his shame. 

that night, choso doesn’t come out of his room to watch a movie with you before bed. you pout, but try not to linger on it too long. maybe yuji took a lot out of him today, or they didn’t have a successful time on and he was moody. either way, you weren’t going to bother him. you hang out on the couch like usual with the hopes that he would emerge soon, but as your bedtime nears and everything remains still, you slink off to your room with a sour mood to end an otherwise normal day.

as the days pass, choso’s behavior gets weirder and weirder. it’s almost as if he’s completely reverted inside his shell he made when he moved in, only emerging to get food when he had hoped you weren’t around. the times in which he did inevitably run into you were dealt in nervous laughter and denials that anything was wrong with him. it didn’t take a genius to figure out that he was lying, hiding something from you even. you were slightly hurt that he didn’t trust you enough to talk to you, instead of going backwards and shutting you out. you wanted to wait it out, but as the days turned into a full week, you feared losing him altogether. 

you stewed over the situation the entire time you were at work. you couldn’t even get anything accomplished because you were too preoccupied wondering what you had done to wound your connection. spending your days alone was maddening. a little over a year ago, you would have relished in the peace and quiet, but now it was unwelcome. you only wanted quiet if it was filled with the subtle sounds of pages turning or the buttons of a controller smashing or shared breathing during the climax of a show. this was haunting, and you knew you had to do something. you left work early, faking a stomach ache in order to get home and corner choso into relenting. no more miss nice roommate. you were tired of letting him be all weird and distant. so you walked in unceremoniously, not necessarily out to scare him. you shake your sandals off by the door and walk towards his room, noting that his door was actually open for once. 

that was only because you weren’t supposed to be home for three and a half more hours, giving choso plenty of time to relive his dirty fantasies of you with the least amount of guilt possible, though he could barely look you in the eye these days. if you weren’t home, he could at least not worry about you catching him in his perverted acts, only dealing with the shame that flows in after he’s came for the millionth time to the image of your legs quivering and mouth parting in pleasure. he didn’t hear you sneak in–didn’t hear you shuffle down the hall to poke your head around the doorframe. he was dead to the outside world, his hips stuttering into his hand, thumb swiping the pre-cum that beaded there around his slit, stroking himself with whimpers of your name tumbling out, his eyes scrunched tight in concentration. 

your jaw was on the floor, never in a million years imagining that he even knew how to touch himself like that, not to mention the prayers of your name on his tongue, mirroring the ones you make for him on fridays. he was massive, it had you covering your mouth in shock. even with his huge hand, it seemed like pumping himself was a tall task. you couldn’t imagine trying to do it yourself, you’re not even sure two hands would do the trick— you must have gasped aloud or something, because suddenly his head snaps toward where you stand in the doorway. 

“y/n–you’re–” his dark eyes are wide, his lips parted in realization that you had really caught him jerking off and mewling your name like a helpless perv. as the guilt starts to creep in, the haze of need and desire clouds his mind. he never lets go of himself, all too aware of your lip between your teeth and your hardened nipples poking through your top—no, you shouldn’t be seeing this, you shouldn’t even be home yet! not to mention how ashamed you should be of your own roommate rutting into his hand.

“...i’m home.” you whisper back, a slight smirk creeping onto your face. despite the red blush spreading across his cheeks, he keeps fucking up into his hand. it’s salacious, and you can feel your body responding to the sight, unsurprisingly. you’ve been picturing him naked for months, and not even your lewd imagination gave him justice. every plane on his body was sculpted and defined, thick veins running down his arms and thighs and cock. he left his hair down, some of the strands tucked behind his ear, some of them hung over his brows and cheekbones. he gulped when he noticed your stare, your eyes locked on the thick cock in his hand, curved with an angry and needy tip. 

“y/n, i’m so so sorr–” he scrambles to sit up, the heavy reality finally sinking in. he was awful, sick in the head, you were going to have him pack his shit immediately, and he’d have to tell all his friends why you had gotten rid of him. 

“need some help?” you spit out, unable to tolerate the pounding in your chest and pussy. his eyes grow impossibly wider, blood rushing in his ears. did he understand you right? he couldn’t possibly. 

“wh-what?” he sputtered, sitting up slightly to try and hide himself from view a bit, as if you hadn’t seen every bit of him already. 

“i asked if you wanted my help. you were saying my name, weren’t you?” you tease gently, stepping further into his room, your hands innocently folded behind your back. now that you know your desire is shared, you felt confident enough to push your relationship further yet again. he nods hesitantly, watching you stalk over to the bed like a lioness about to pounce.

“i–yes, it’s not what you think. i know it looks–” 

“like you were jacking off and thinking about me? is that not…what you were doing?” you hum, pausing by the foot of his bed. you look so cute, he has to believe you know what you’re doing, folding your arms under your voluptuous chest just to taunt him a bit more. you have him backed into a corner, and he either had to admit the truth or come up with a very clever lie. and he is not a gifted liar. 

“i–yeah…” he looks away, feeling the shame weighing down on him now that you had confronted him with the undeniable truth. 

you chuckle warmly. “i do the same thing, ‘cept I’m thinking of you.” you shrug, the smirk growing on your face as realization seeps into his. he didn’t misunderstand you that day or even earlier in this conversation. you want him too. he swallows thickly again, remembering the day that started all of this. 

“i–i know, i saw you, last week.” he chokes out as you take your top off, revealing yourself to him. He’d noticed your lack of bra earlier, but didn’t expect to be blessed with the sight of your body again, especially as you bend at the hips to wiggle out of your pants. Your laughter surprises him again, like he had intentionally made a joke. but it was only because he had solved the mystery that led you to his room in the first place, and that would potentially resolve any secrets you had been keeping from one another. 

“so that’s why you’ve been avoiding me?” you scrunch your nose at him adorably as you crawl onto the bed, his eyes glued to the body that had him locked in his bedroom day and night. “oh choso, i wish you would have interrupted me…i surely woulda let you help me.” you purr, so close to him that he could reach out and touch you now, and he definitely thinks about just grabbing your hips and pulling you down on him, finally feeling that glistening pussy for himself—to hell with his imagination, but your voice interrupts his thoughts again. 

“so, do you want me to help you, baby?” you glance from the hard length in his hands to his deep purple eyes, swirling with something you recognize very well to be deep desire. 

“please–” he whimpered and let his hand fall away from his pelvis, looking to you like a pathetic boy getting his teenage dreams fulfilled. Your grin grows wide, and you lean closer to brush your hand across his toned abdomen. he lets out a pleased little grunt and his cock jumps at the simple touch

“you’ve never been with anyone, have you?” you asked, faces so close he can see every freckle and dimple and scar on your skin. he shakes his head. you peck the tip of his nose. he’s already shivering, the feeling of your body leaning over his was exhilarating. your kiss was so simple and sweet, but it stopped all the thoughts in his brain. he was just malleable now, ready to let you make him feel good, finally shifting from imagination to reality. “need you to talk to me, so i can know where you’re at, cho.” 

“no, no..never.” he shakes his head again, eying you with excitement and nerves all at once. he wants to touch you, and you’ve already stripped naked and kissed him, so surely there was no going back now, so he reaches up and places his hands on your hips—so light like he was afraid to hurt you. 

you grin at both his answer and his courageous touch, nodding your encouragement, “that’s fine, i’ll help you…just do what feels natural–you can go as hard as you want., and tell me if you want to stop.” your eyes blink at him sweet he realizes he would trust you with his life if you asked. 

“okay.” he lets your words wash over him, nodding as he grips your hips a little tighter. he’s more than embraced his fate, his mouth watering a bit at the idea that you were in his bed and offering to make all his fantasies come true. you were expecting him to keep that deer in a headlights look, but when you rake your fingernails across his chest, you watch his eyes darken a bit more. “kiss me?” 

choso looks so cute, you couldn’t deny him if you wanted to. his eyebrow raised with innocence, but his eyes shrouded in arousal. you giggle softly and lean up, sliding your hands over his pecs and shoulders and into those dark locks calling your name. you tug, and he gasps softly. you take that opportunity to cover his parted lips with your own, his head falling back to accommodate you as you fully crawl into his lap. he melts, you feel and taste so impossibly good he’s concerned he may bust over the kiss. your tongue moves so expertly against his, twirling around and sucking on the muscle in a way he didn’t know people employed. then you’re sitting on his abs, and he can feel so much at once. his eyes blow wide in the kiss, and he has to pull away to gasp again and see what you’re doing to him. 

you’re simply sitting, your pretty shining pussy rubbing against his core and his dick teasing the crack of your ass. that must be what’s driving him insane, the warmth and softness providing some but not enough friction. you wiggle your ass a bit to tease him, and he whimpers. the sound is so sweet and low you know you can’t handle playing with the shy little virgin much longer.

“i–is th–that sup’posed to f-feel that go–ngh, good?” he stammers, the hold on your hips bordering bruising. he doesn’t even realize, and you certainly don’t mind, so you only smile and nod down at him, reaching for his chin with your fingers. he makes you look so small without even trying, the broad expanse of his body, wide jaw and thick legs—not to mention the monstrous cock rocking against your behind, your own need soaking his happy trail to the skin beneath. you move his gaze from your sensual movements back to your sultry gaze. yuji was wrong. pretty was such a mild way to describe the woman on his lap. you were more a kin to a goddess, something not fully human like him. 

“i was hoping to give you the full treatment, but i don’t think you’ll mind if i skip to the main event?” you bite your lip, your other hand scraping at his scalp a little bit. no, of course he didn’t mind. sometimes you were so silly. he nods fervently, remembering that he needed to find his voice, to not seem like such a coward when he wanted this so badly. 

“no—please,” he whimpers again, feeling the drip of your liquid on him. it dawns on him then that you’re just as needy, and you still wanted him even though you’d have to teach him what to do. you didn’t seem worried, maybe it was easier than he thought. but all he knows is that his balls are starting to hurt and he had never felt more buzzed in his entire life, sensitive to every move you make. “i need you so bad, oh sh–” 

you scoot back, lifting yourself up a little to align him with your entrance. his whimpers and begs were so fucking amazing, you wish you had it in you to milk it. you make the mental note to keep him begging when you show him what it feels like to have his dick sucked or whimpering when he eats your cunt for the first time. he’s so heavy in your hand, and you can’t even close your fist around him. it makes you shudder, knowing that you’re going to make him fit inside you no matter the stretch. his tip was so red and irritated, oozing pre. you swiped it over his head, humming in amusement as he jerks and whines at the feeling. 

“you’re massive, d’you know that?” you pout, sinking down a few inches. he moans at first, feeling like his cock was fit into a perfect sleeve. it’s unreal, the heat he feels in his gut as you rock further down on him, whining at how huge he was. he watches the pained faces you make halfway down, the concern clear on his face. he didn’t know he was that big—he hadn’t really been comparing, but if it was hurting you, he wondered what he could do. he remembers watching you play with that sensitive spot at the apex of your thighs, using your own slick to glide around. he thinks he could replicate that, so he sticks his fingers in his mouth, spitting a bit to make sure they were just as wet as you were. you take more of him, almost to his base all while panting and bracing yourself on his chest with your eyes screwed shut. he reaches toward you, swiping his fingers around the place he watched you toy with. you gasp out and sit all the way down, the noises you make as he touches you make his eyes widen again. 

“god—i’m so full, baby.” you nod, your hips moving forward automatically, searching for more of that searing feeling he brings to your clit. he surprises you, moving his digits in slow circles as you get accustomed to his size. he chokes slightly when you squeeze him, his eyes zeroed in on your face. 

“are you alright?” he asks softly, feeling your nails dig into his chest as your hips move faster now, any other words he had wanted to say sucked from his brain like he had no thoughts at all, nothing other than that vice-grip of a pussy you have locked around him, bouncing softly and leaving little half-moons in his skin. 

“mhm, just had to stretch a bit t’fit you, are you alright?” you grin as you ask, knowing he would struggle to respond—in the best way possible. he nods eagerly, eyes flickering from where you swallow him up to your soft face of bliss. 

“are you kidding? i’m—” you rock on him a bit faster, the feeling of wet and choking walls rubbing every possible spot had him sputtering, unable to speak. he’s only able to watch you run a hand through your mane, keeping it out of your face and away from your bouncing tits. he’s in heaven. being with a woman, no, being with you, was as all the eternal bliss he cared to know. 

his hips start to move, the hold he has on your hips trailing up to the curves of your waist to better hold you down. he didn’t realize how much more intense he would make this feel for the both of you, grunts and whines spilling from his lips as you begin to cry out and yell. it’s heavenly, the way you let him drive into you, leaning forward with one hand on the headboard and the other tugging his head towards your chest. he contains his pathetic pants by sucking your nipple in his mouth, laving his tongue over it, mind so drunk and hazy he can only be driven by his primal instincts, flat footed on the bed to plow into you from below. 

it’s so perfect. you scream his name way better than he ever imagined, and he doesn’t mind to bear the scratch marks of your passion. you keep squeezing around him, and it drives him crazy. 

“i–i love when you do that—clenching down on me like that, fuck.” He grunts, slowly getting his knees under him while you sloppily keep the pace. he uses the leverage to ease you to your back, though you don’t have the luxury of pillows or a headboard, only the mattress beneath you as choso realizes this positioning lets him piston his hips without you having to do any work at all. you’re wailing, nodding to keep him from worrying about you as you continuously claw at his back and shoulders. 

“choso baby—” you whine in such a way, he knows he’s going to bust in seconds. “you’re gonna make me cum, please–doin’ so good, ngh—ack!” you cry, legs tightening around his waist as he feels a significant increase of your fluids. feeling and watching you cum by his doing was the nail in the coffin—the way your face screwed up in pure pleasure brought him his own, his pelvis stilling against the mounds of your backside, cock twitching against your womb before your vision is blurry, and all you feel is warmth seeping out of you. his load leaked out around him inside you, his cock still pulsating with no signs of dying down. 

he smiles at you a little shyly, his cheeks rosy and eyes hazy with the aftershocks of such a gripping orgasm. he watches your chest heave as you calm down, your eyes fluttering open and a smile spreading across your face as you look up at him. 

“what do i do now? to take care of you?” he asks, absentmindedly stroking the creases where your thighs meet your hips. you giggle and shake your head, knowing it would take multiple rounds for his erection to die down. 

“i show you the full treatment now, baby.” you grin, wiggling your eyebrows. 

choso found himself immersed in exploring himself and your body, discovering several new kinks to enjoy with his sweet little roommate turned lover.

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

hawthorne weekly dinner head canons

this has been sitting in my drafts for so long (although i only started posting earlier this week, i've had a few posts in my drafts for a while) you can't tell me they don't have weekly dinners. they're all literally so cute. like i can just imagine the four brothers, avery, libby, max, and even rebecca and thea sometimes spending some time all together. i might make a part two bc i honestly love the idea of all of them spending time together at dinner.

max and xander are always talking about the weird things that happened to them that week (once, they managed to get stuck with a lion in a cage at the zoo)

libby and grayson usually cook the food together. xander will help libby make the desserts.

once grayson starts dating someone (lyra probably, for some reason i'm still not convinced they'll end up together), obviously she joins these little dinners.

avery sometimes forces alisa to stop working and join too. she slowly starts to get over nash bc of them (she realises she's a girlboss and doesn't need a man in her life (i hc that she's bi))

grayson really enjoys the meals. he slowly starts to loosen up and smile more (this makes everyone really happy).

they once dared avery to make the food one night, but she's a horrible cook so they just decided to order take out.

jamie, when the plates and everything have been taken away from the table, gets on top of it and starts twerking.

the dinners always lead to everyone settling down in the living room and watching movies/tv shows (in two other posts, i mentioned that xander, grayson, libby, and avery love medical dramas so they probably all just watch that)

rebecca doesn't really like socializing with so many people at once so she brings a book with her. thea notices her all lonely and starts to talk to her bc she's such a good gf (istg they're so cute together).

avery and jameson always sit next to each other and are touching each other (sometimes jamie has an arm wrapped around her shoulder, other times he's holding her hand or places his hand on her thigh.

grayson canonically loves photography, and so these dinners give him the opportunity to show his work. he also takes pictures of them at dinner

sometimes he'll also show everyone some piano pieces he composed (this guy most definitely plays the piano)

these dinner usually end up becoming games of truth or dares, never have i ever, two truths and a lie etc. these games reveal so many things about everyone. so people get to know each other better

libby always has a slew of funny stories about baby avery. avery's always blushing from embarrassment.

sometimes, thea's just on her phone the whole time replying to comments and stuff.

xander likes to sit next to grayson cause he likes to talk about his gadgets and, bc gray doesn't really speak, he can talk freely (gray loves hearing him talk about things he enjoys). xander also has max sitting on his other side so that he can talk to her too, but usually she's busy talking to avery and stuff

during one of these family dinners, they learned that gray had an emo phase when he was 11.

they also learned that avery used to be a hopeless romantic thanks to max and libby (the four brothers, thea, rebecca, and alisa were all shocked cause she doesn't seem like she would be one but then they realized it made sense)

during a game of truth or dare, jameson managed to bang his head so hard on the table he passed out (idk what the dare was)

libby tends to sit across grayson and they start talking about cooking and stuff.

grayson once forgot about the dinner but really wanted to attend. he couldn't find a shirt he liked though and he was so tired that he just showed up shirtless (everyone had no words)

sometimes, avery or one of the brothers will post pics of their dinners and fans always think it's adorable.

jamie and avery will talk about the trips they took together

nash loves to talk about taylor swift's easter eggs/cryptic posts, etc. max who's also a hard core swiftie joins in. the rest of the table, at some point, start to like talking about these easter eggs too, and it becomes a huge thing (i hc that all of them were already swifties prior to these dinners. some less addicted to her music than others though)

they all like reading (except for thea, she doesn't get the point of it) so they start talking about thebooks they like or are currently reading.

at one of these family dinners, its revealed that nash reads smut (people already knew max and xander read smut already cause they aren't ashamed to talk about the weird shit they read)

max is always threatening avery to reveal all of her dirty secrets (they've been friends since childhood, of course max knows things about avery that no one else does)

at first, libby was kinda shy to talk at the table bc she felt like people didn't really care about what she had to say (fuck you drake, it's all cause of him) so nash started comforting her and encouraging her to talk. grayson overheard the conversation and started a conversation with her to encourage her. he told her that she was part of the family whether she wanted to or not, and people wanted to talk to her (she teared up).

sometimes, when libby gets anxious about speaking, nash will put his hand on her thigh and hype her up.

at first, grayson was so happy to have these dinners and be surrounded with people that love him that he would start to tear up in bed at night. over time, he started to accept that these people would always be in his life and stopped crying at night.

if anyone has requests, feel free to leave them! hope you guys like these <3. also here's a little seating plan i made for fun :) when lyra joins someday, she sits between gray and rebecca.

[pricegouge]

Had an EXHAUSTING work week so I literally slept my Friday and Saturday away, and I was rereading some of your dark fics again and like... (I know you're not accepting requests or anything rn so this is purely just me rambling to empty my brain) but I just know if some of your renditions of the 141 abducted me to turn me into a sweet little pet or cute little housewife, they might actually be unnerved by how willingly I'd go with them LOL

Soap plucking a cute little reader as a present for the rest of the boys, expecting some kicking and fighting, but maybe only after a moment of squirming and panicking, reader immediately settles down. Soap chops it up to being some kind of survival response (probably has seen it once or twice in other victims he's snagged).

But then he brings reader home and everyone is expecting the usual 'adjustment period' that comes with a new pet, but reader seems to settle down almost instantly. Sure she quivers and looks at them with wide eyes bc this is still a very new setting to suddenly be in, but other than that, she doesn't make a single peep of complaint.

Simon thinks she's lowkey a freak, tries to get a laugh about it - but maybe reader came from a really shitty living situation, or abusive relationships were the norm. So suddenly being given the perfect escape from the mess that was her life is something she takes as a blessing in disguise. Once she learns the boys aren't going to bruise her or neglect her like other people have, she becomes downright needy for their affection and attention.

Food being brought to me, so I don't need to set alarms to remind myself to eat??? Someone whipping something yummy up and bringing it to me on the dot, making sure I've eaten it all?? Hashtagblessed.

They sit me in a nice warm tub and wash me??? Make sure I'm all clean and even trim my nails/make sure I don't anxiously pick at my skin til I bleed? Hashtagblessed.

Where life was once chaotic and unpredictable, suddenly all the previous stresses are gone and replaced with routine, stability, and a few other comforts that the reader couldn't originally have? Hashtagblessed.

Unlike others, instead of complaining about wanting to go home, or begging not to be killed, she's complaining that she can't snuggle up with Price as he smokes and reads work reports - and the way he leans back on his chair as he looks over papers is so inviting!! The perfect spot to rest her head on his chest as she settles on his lap.

Kyle panics at one point bc he was helping Johnny bring in supplies and groceries, and the front door was left open without anyone checking to see if the pet is in her cage. Before he can scramble to Price to ask if he's seen reader, he finds her sitting obediently on the floor next to Simon as he cleans his gun, head resting on his thigh, mind turned off just from watching him effortlessly take the thing apart to clean and oil it, almost even napping, totally unbothered. Until Kyle had disturbed the dust and now she's blinking up at him all confused as he tries to come down from his panic high.

Before they even realize it, reader is snuggling up in bed with them each night without any of them having to chain her down or lock the doors - she's still there in the mornings. Reader even starts helping out around the house of her own volition after maybe a month of what SHE considered being spoiled, but was the 141 still thinking she was in the adjustment period.

Now she's waking up each day with Price to get started on the coffee and breakfast as the others wake up. Shuffles to them when they walk to the kitchen one by one and clings to them all sleepy as 'good mornings' are said. They don't need to ask if she slept well, her bedhead is enough of a tell.

Simon is still the one most weirded out by how easily reader just accepted her fate and slotted herself into their lives, but even he's agreeing with the others that like, nah, this is the one we've been lookin' for all this time, no need for anyone else, reader is perfect.

Maybe while they're all wrapped up in their new domestic bliss, someone from reader's old life has filed a missing person report, maybe half the town has been searching for her, none of them realize it. Until they go into town with her one day (maybe reader needs a haircut - the boys only know how to do military buzzcuts or trims (savages!)) And suddenly they have a little cluster of people asking where tf reader has been she's been missing after all!!

141 think they might have to cut and run, hop towns until they're not wanted any more - but Reader is just like 'I'm not missing??? I've been here the whole time???'

When people start accusing the 141 of abduction, reader pipes up 'nah I just moved in with them, its not like that???'

The person from their life before shows up and she looks them dead in the eye with a frown on her face. 'Who are you?'

She just takes Price's hand and is like 'okay well we have shopping to do, bye' and is the one to drag them all away, like hello we have a schedule to stick to???

They decide to move towns anyway, just to get away from the person reader pretended not to know, and after a few months of peace the obituary lists their death off from some unfortunate accident, totally unrelated to any of the boys at all, and reader doesn't even bat an eye.

fellow shit week haver what's up 👊🏻

So, unfortunately, if we're talking the Haul boys like I'm assuming we are, you've made one bad miscalculation in that they will not be any less abusive than your exes and will def leave you battered from time to time. But yes, they will take outright pride in providing you a home and a schedule and sustenance. Which makes you absolutely perfect for them when accept it all so graciously

Gaz and John accept it almost instantly, both desperate for a sweet little thing to dote on who's gracious and sweet. Gaz starts having movie nights with you within a month, lugging a TV set down to you at least once a week because you can't be trusted top side quite yet in case he falls asleep to whatever cutesy romcom you've chosen. He calls them date nights, gets mad at the receivers he's delivering to if they keep him held up too long on those days. Surprises himself the first time he lets slip his baby's home waiting on him.

John clocks your need for structure instantly, it being a trait he's seen all too often in the service. He's all too happy to provide it, softening the schedule he's set for past victims dolls when he sees how quickly you take to it. You get lunch, for a start. He even eats it with you most days, a new adjustment that works out for both of you, as John didn't used to bother with it either. And if they find meds in your bag, or your car, John's got clocks set and pill caddies ready to ensure you get the proper dosage on time.

When he's not too busy basking in the glory of bringing home the little wifey, Soap's the one who spends the most time with you, at least when you're still locked in your basement room. He's always telling you how proud he is of you, how well you've done in accepting your position. He's the one that finally convinces Price you can be trusted to wander the warehouse, though John near has a conniption when Soap does this by placing a knife in your hand and laughing when you just drop it back to the floor with an uncomfortable grimace.

Like you said, Simon takes the longest. He's not used to having such a pretty thing loving on him so well, but he's fiercely protective of you once he figures out you're not going anywhere. Even when they've all generally accepted you can be allowed out in public, Simon doesn't let you out of his sight. You're a bit offended at first, thinking he still doesn't trust you even after all the work you've put into giving him a home. But the first time some man comes sniffing around you and Simon scares him off with little more than a look, you understand what he's really up to.

The sense of relief you feel when they show you your own obit surprises you, just a bit. You've long since given up bothering psychoanalyzing your desires when it comes to your husbands, but you expect at least a little fear to swell up in you at the proclamation of your own death. You're well and truly theirs now, no one looking for you ever again. You wait for the fear to come, wait even longer. You're still waiting when John gives you a set of keys weeks later and tells you he's bought a nice house in the suburbs, jokes about how you won't have to sweep up concrete dust everyday anymore. But i's not fear that flips your tummy when you think about the life you have planned with them.

[rottentiger-art]

Any angst quogan headcanons? We never got full confirmation they never broke up throughout their journey. “We’ve been together for a decade” could still mean some bumps in the road. (I don’t want that just for the sake of headcanon the years we missed) I do wonder if they ever nearly split when they were young and dumb lol. Or what bigger fights would be about.

I refuse to believe they ever broke up... but I'll indulge, bc I also love angst lol. So, an AU where they broke up at some point on the last 15 years:

To make this more painful, this is settled after the first time he proposed to her.

I'd say it happened around their first year of college.

They definitely didn't go to the same colleges, so maybe they didn't get as much time together as they thought they would/couldn't coordinate their schedules to see each other as often

They were afraid of the potential strain and the possibility of growing apart, so they made the difficult decision to break up and remain friends, because they rather not be a couple but still be in each other's lives than end things badly and lose themselves (idiots, not even they believe they can ever be just friends)

of course, her rejection plus the break up makes it incredibly painful for Logan (not saying Quinn didn't suffer as well, but damn)

still, they let each other go as a romantic partner and embrace their friendship, wishing the other luck and promising to still keep in contact.

ugh, actually, I think this could be the perfect scenario to make Quogan be a bi4bi couple.

They both discover they're bi in the time they're apart.

won't go into much detail bc I kinda hate the idea of them being with anyone else, I'll leave if they got with anyone else or they were just flings up to y'all lol

despite this new revelation for them, they still missed each other.

they would still see each other and try to act like they're not dying to ask the other to just get together again.

they would also call each other every night out of habit and text constantly.

they would have to try very hard not to be flirty or let some of their pet names slip out.

they would fail most times and quickly correct themselves.

on one of their totally not a date, super platonic hang outs, they come out to each other.

it's a bittersweet moment, kinda, because they're both happy for the other, for not only not being judged but also having that in common (it was the 2010s after all) and the fact that there's still that trust between them to tell those things... but

they can't help but feel jealous about the romantic interests in each other's lives. They try to swallow the jealousy and just smile, but it's so hard. They both assume that means the other has moved on.

misunderstanding trope, I'm sorry.

despite the decision of breaking things up and stay as friends being mutual, the feeling are not gone for either of them, they're still there, lingering, hurting them.

they couldn't deny to themselves the strong connection they shared. They found themselves constantly thinking about each other, wondering if they had made the right choice. The distance only intensified their longing for one another, leaving them both with a sense of deep regret.

but they don't know the other feels the same way!! they think the other had moved one!! ahhhhhh!!!

PAIN. PINNING. JEALOUSY.

after that they throw themselves into their college lives and also the new people in their lives, try to pretend they're totally okay being friends and even try dating, but it never works out, because no matter how hard they try, they can't shake the feeling that they should be together, that they belong together and that they regret breaking up.

every totally friendly, totally platonic, not a date only serves to stir up those feelings inside them and making the longing grow and grow.

they hook up.

it's intense and passionate, a mix of longing (they missed it, they missed each other so much), possessiveness (couldn't stop the jealousy to take over at the thought of anyone else touching their skin), and guilt (guilt at failing to keep the promise of remaining just friends)

there were some tears from both.

but they still try to act like it didn't happen bc they don't want to risk their "friendship" (I'm just hurting myself at this point and potentiallyruinwhatever they had)

they just really wanted the other to be happy and thought a relationship where they barely see each other would only hurt them.

it takes a few "accidental" hook ups before they finally face the fact that they can't be apart anymore, being friends was not working anymore.

they have a heart-to-heart conversation, where they admitted that they still loved each other deeply. They realized that the fear of the unknown shouldn't keep them apart, and that they were willing to take the risk to be together once again.

the time apart and the pain worked to give them a newfound determination. They rekindled their relationship and vowed to make it work, despite the challenges of distance and uncertainty.

they cherished the time they had together, making the most of every visit and finding solace in the knowledge that their love was worth fighting for.

there were ups and downs, of course, but as we can see in the movie, they really made it work.

It was a very hard period of their lives, but ultimately it was necessary, it proved they really were the one for the other, it showed them too how willing to let the other go and put their happiness over their own they were.

While I think there definitely were some big fights along the way (no couple is perfect), I don't think they're were any more break ups, I don't think they'd want to go through that again, not when they're surer than ever that they love each other so much, they just couldn't see a life without the other as their partners. Instead they just kept with that communication skill they're so famous for.

Their love got stronger than ever, and more with each passing year, no way they're ever letting the other go

I hope I didn't just hurt myself, but also all of you <3

[ahamkara-apologist]

Some quick Aeris facts for y'all before I go to bed:

-Really likes lemon-flavored candies and lemon cake. Also a big fan of those fluffy donut holes with powdered sugar on top of them

-Very soft-spoken and usually mumbles when he talks, if he talks at all (yeah I based a lot of him off the Guardian in-game, but the Guardian's voice in game is super deep and that always takes me out LOL). He's also very blunt and has a hard time not sounding either deadpan or having a slightly off cadance to his voice, and most of his 'snappy comebacks' are from action movies or watching other guardians. Because his humour is extremely dry and he has a soft spot for puns, its sometimes hard to tell if this is deliberately done for comedic effect or copied because he's trying to come off as cool

-Will also infodump about his friend's interests and studies if prompted and in a good mood, and enjoys being infodumped to in turn. It gives him a starting-off point for him to engage in a conversation without Ghost's or Marcie's help

-Hates the popularity and 'placed on a pedestal' nature of being The Guardian(tm) and cares very little about fitting in socially, but also really wants to please those he looks up to/not upset people.

-Cannot sit normally on anything. He's a Hunter for a reason. He has to crouch-perch on everything and be on top of the tallest thing in the room. Half the time its just to see that he can do it

-Ghost is still officially named Ghost because he's got a Thing about names being special and also because neither of them can settle on one they like (I've called him Hoarfrost in the past but they are STILL debating on that). Also, he prefers to go by 'Guardian' because 'Aeris' is close to 'Eris' and in his reasoning, 'she had the name first so she gets seniority rights'

-Actually really likes tactile stimuli. He won't initiate physical affection much, but you bet your ass he's gonna cuddle if given the chance, though the person he usually only actively cuddles with is his sister, Marcie, or Ghost

-Has an apartment in the Tower that he never uses. Pretty much lives in the Eliksni quarter exclusively bc they don't pick up on the fact that he's autistic as fast as human people and he really likes that

-He's got Archer Muscles(tm) and is pretty pleased with it. He doesn't think much of his appearance often, but thats one of the few aspects of it that he's proud of

-Crow is one of his best friends, and while they had a whole tense thing with Crow having a crush on him pre regaining his memories that Aeris couldn't reciprocate and felt guilty for, they're still on pretty good terms (thats a whole other seperate thing I can get into tho)

-Actually hates fusion rifles, but was too polite to correct Saint when he said Aeris's favorite gun was a fusion rifle so

-Sexuality is like. Aro/ace/gay. He's aro for sure, and most of the time he barely thinks about or desires sex with people, but when he does it's only with men, his taste in which is...questionable, most of the time.

-(Misraaks. Taniks, if he had the chance. Drifter. You get the point.)

-Also, he's a bottom and likes to be shoved around bc of afformentioned 'doesnt like being treated like the Chosen One' shtick

-Pre death and rez: He's the result of a cocky, boastful human man getting frisky with an Awoken warrior. Said man married for power later, and was VERY unhappy when Aeris was dumped on his doorstep as a kid, esp. since he got his wife pregnant already (that was Marcie)

-Aeris's mother was named Iliya, he was brought to term, born in the Reef, and dumped on his dad bc his dad said they wouldn't need contraceptives bc Awoken and 'normal humans' couldn't interbreed. She pretty much birthed him out of spite

-He DID go back to the Reef a few times as a diplomat from Earth (his dad was politically savvy, if a douchebag), but I doubt his mom ever bothered with him much. Marcie was the only person he was close to, as he was her older brother and he ADORED her, and that was a bond that persisted even after their death and rez together

-she died in the Skolas Incident btw so no meeting her son again post-rez for her.

-This is something that Mara knew vaguely about, bc while Awoken/Humans are viable, they're really rare in the Reef. That she knew of his birth pre-death and who his mother was is part of the reason Aeris doesn't like her- it weirds him out. The only info that he got about himself pre-rez was from Marcie's diary (which was on her corpse when they were rezzed) was that the swearing woman underneath him in a rusted-out shelter in the cold of Old Russia was his half sister and that his father was a no-good whore, so the fact that someone out there knows of the other half of his family...it bothers him

-Despite that, he still has an instinctual connection to the Reef and a longing to fit in with it and gets really shy when Petra calls him 'cousin', since he's not quite right enough to stick in with Humans and too boring to be Awoken back on Earth, so it makes him feel included

[tired-reader-writer]

I yearn for the WFM AU Lore, it’s wormed it’s way into my brain meats.

I'm gonna assume you mean my AU (it's got a name, finally!) so that's what I'm gonna talk about!

For those of you who haven't seen the other posts and are curious, I'll tag this post w the AU tag so that y'all can go explore it. With that out of the way, here's what I got (it's mostly about Ellyus bc I'm obsessed with my own OC, of course):

Ellyus has a non-linear time perception, if this were a proper fic (man I wish I had enough energy for a proper fic) the story would open with his death, it's the first thing he'll ever be aware of. And then things are out of order for him, between one breath and the next he might see Vanadis, between sleep and wakefulness he might see the future. It's all scattered, and oftentimes repeats over and over, if this were a proper fic he'd experience what has been written/uploaded thus far every time there's a new reader. The pressure in his skull and eyeballs build up and up until it causes pain as sort of a side-effect or aftermath of these visions, and he dissociates a lot. Suletta is one of the few people that can ground him. He has to take pain medication to dull the symptoms, and he also has cybernetic implants like Cardo Nabo:

Watsonian reason: it helps manage the pain and augments his nervous system so that he can live just a little longer.

Doylist reason: this is so that he reminds Prospera of Dr. Nabo, a haunting of her ghost. Doesn't help that he becomes pretty much the leading engineer/researcher of GUND-ARM Inc. like she was the head researcher of Vanadis Institute.

He'll die and then become the twelfth GUND-bit. (Haven't yet pinned down an exact point in the timeline yet but probably juuuust around Plant Quetta-ish. The attack never happens, or more like a similar incident happens later down the line on Earth and that accelerated his death.) And then he leaves everybody else to pick up the pieces of his impact.

And it is Ellyus who breaks the news to Suletta, about Vanadis, about their origins, about Ericht. But he couldn't bring himself to do it while he was alive, there's certain things he as a character is Not Allowed to say directly to people, so he takes a loophole and pre-records video/audio messages to be automatically released to certain ppl upon death like a dead man switch. It... well, people take it just about as well as you'd expect.

“It's up to you, now. Whatever you choose, I want you to live. I want you to be happy. Do you understand, Suletta? It's your right to be happy. To choose. You understand. I'm sorry I couldn't say this to you when I was still alive.”

Man if I had enough energy I'd write Suletta piloting Aerial for the first time after Ellyus dies, only to notice that there's a twelfth bit now, and the bit's voice... she can't put her finger on it but it's familiar.

Too familiar.

Suletta's always been smarter than people give her credit for.

She'd recognize her brother anywhere.

And she finally asks, after the duel or something, not expecting an answer, hoping she's wrong: “...onii-san?” in a quiet, hesitant voice.

She doesn't want to be right.

She wants to be right.

To which the bit replies, in a garbled voice, “Yes.”

But how did he die? What was he feeling in the moments leading up to it?

His narrative time as an insert character was about to be up, he knows he's gonna die, and like with a heart attack he feels the Dread settle in— not the jittery kind of “something's coming” that he often feels as an instinct, no. The kind that says, “that something is here.”

He is taken from the hospital by Prospera and her accomplices, all parties involved knowing what she has in store for him. She takes him to Aerial and just as she's about to upload him into the Data Storm—

He takes her hand.

“I'm not Ericht. Neither me nor Suletta. But it can still matter, right? Our— Our efforts. Our dreams. GUND-ARM. It matters, right, mom? M—Mom. You won't ruin it, right? You'll let it— let it live— right, right? Mom? Please, mom. I— I don't wanna— don't, don't do— don't. —ant to... to l— Sulet—ta— (El4n's new name)— J—Jeru— some—someone— no, no, I don't—”

Aka, he dies terrified for everyone and everything, scared that despite his efforts in disrupting the plot it might all be for naught and things will course-correct and Prospera will... Yeah. You know.

At some point during his frantic speech Prospera takes the hand he's been holding and covers his eyes.

The pain ends abruptly, and he's... well, inside. With the other Children of the Coven.

The twelfth GUND-bit.

And lately I've been getting more and more fond about the idea of Prospera nudging Shaddiq and El4n into cooperating with Quiet Zero— she wants Shaddiq to kill Delling and take the presidency. Miorine is... complicated. She's the one keeping the GUND ideals of medical application, saving lives, despite being the daughter of the man that ordered their slaughter. It's complicated, and El's desperate pleas shifted... something, in her. So she spares Miorine for now, until she can figure out what she'll do next. In the meantime, Shaddiq is the unfortunate target.

Wouldn't it be fun if Prospera and Shaddiq actually team up? Against Benerit and Spacians as a whole? Quiet Zero will surely give Earthians enough power to strong-arm some negotiations, and well...

Shaddiq now also has someone stuck beyond the Data Storm that he'll want to give a second chance at life to.

Thankfully due to Ellyus' influence Shaddiq is... less destructive than in canon, more on the lines of collaborating w GUND-ARM for disaster relief and stuff, uniting the various factions on Earth into a single unified front, he finally fucking learned that destructive means alone won't help people so yeah. He still has a lot of cunning fire in him though, and plots for Delling's death and snatch the presidency.

El4n isn't so stoked about Prospera— He unfortunately sees parallels between Bel/Peil and Prospera (what he knows now from El's post-mortem messages plus all the little hints while he was still alive certainly doesn't help), he only has to hear “We're not the ones that matter, Suletta and I. We'll never be Samayas. You understand.” once and alarm bells are going off in his head.

At some point he angrily demands Prospera: “Did El ever matter to you? Does Suletta?”

But he does go along, because he feels it's unfair that he was saved by Ellyus (he who wasn't even sure if he wanted to live or not, a puppet without a purpose) and yet he couldn't do the same for El.

Suletta is unsure about all this. She's doubting and second-guessing Prospera's goals— she isn't sure if this Quiet Zero thing won't end horribly like Ellyus was worried it would (post-mortem messages hello). She doesn't know if this is what Ellyus would've wanted and... I don't know. I don't know how things will proceed from her end just yet.

Some miscellaneous stuff:

Ellyus and El4n are the only ones allowed to call Shaddiq by his birth name Jeru Ogul, and in private. It's a sign of trust— Shaddiq keeps it under twenty layers of masks, a reminder for the Earthian boy he once was, fuel for what he must do. He's literally never trusted anyone with this tender heart of hearts before this. Before them.

Ellyus' nickname is El, as you might've noticed. Suletta wanted to call him Elly/Ellie when she was young, but he suggested El instead— because “it's cute, but that's not my name”. It's because Elly/Ellie would be written the same as Eri in katakana: エリ, and he... he doesn't want to bear Eri's name for all that he's fond of her (he got to hear Eri's little speech from Lfrith's pov after all). El would be written as エル, sharing the beginning of Elnora (エルノラ). Though... his full name エリユス does have “Eri” hidden inside it.

Since from what we've seen of the girls' bedroom of Earth House, I guess it's safe to say that boys also share a room w bunk beds, though El4n might receive a bed he still worms his way onto El's. They cuddle.

The Earth House kids have a groupchat. Chaos ensue.

El5n is most definitely involved in the project to burn Peil Technologies even if I don't have a solid plan on when and how.

There's... a lot more of this AU I haven't included in this post but I'll cut things off here, for fear of the post getting too long. I don't think that many people will be interested in my stuff anyways, but it sure felt nice to get this off my chest. So thank you so much for the ask!

[bitchfitch]

I'm in a weird place with that giant wolf monster thing bc like. I have the basic plot beats down but there's two Really major characters I can't really figure out and their actions like. can change massive swathes of the story? so they're Kinda Important.

Amalabairga is the first one. I can't decide if she's like. In this book. Because on one hand she's a really cool character. She's a giant wolf monster who carries the spirit of winter and is currently in self exile wielding an honest to god canon like a musket. she's the Queen™ of the giant wolf monsters and she folded under that pressure and abandoned her people because she just couldn't take it anymore.

Her leaving her pack was the match that set in place the plot as it exists. Erasyl's family becoming the monarchs of the humans on this continent? She's the matriarch and it's her blood that made the older generations carry strength without compare.

The animosity between humans and the orawol? The humans stole their fucking Queen. She never returned. The humans don't know where she is either so clearly they killed her and were too weak to bare the spirit of winter since it Should have passed to her eldest descendant when she died.

But is she Actually in this book? Has she escaped the narrative?

Is her roll in this story to be a figure mythologized by both sides of this conflict only for her to come back and prove herself to still just be a person? Or is her roll to be this goddess, only for her to die off screen having lived her life to it's natural end and passing on her gift to her second eldest descendant because her eldest already carries the spirit of spring?

Leaving our second missing piece to be without the guidance his identical twin got when she began flourishing into her roll as spring's hands? Amir the spare. The prince who was never meant to be king.

The prince who can still feel the warmth of his parents bodies when he sits beside the fresh graves. The prince who lost his entire family one after the other only to lose his twin too the second he thought the dust had finally settled.

What does he feel when he gets the letter days after she's gone missing? The one from the orawol chief who once swore he'd devour them both if trade negotiations didn't go his way. The one declaring Amir's twin would never come home, the one carrying the news that He is king now, that his family's debts were finally paid. A queen for a queen. He'd have help fighting the war that took his family away. He'd have victory if it was the last thing the orawol chief ever did. but he'd never have his brother back.

What does he do. What can he possibly do.

what do either of them Do.

[alister312]

Licking the Damstophe crumbs off the floor, do you happen to have any headcanons? 🥺👉👈

YES I DO..........

i think they met in the brief time that Christophe died bc Damien was left to deal with all the new souls since his dad was getting ready to go up to earth with Saddam

since Damien is always on the move and Christophe is home schooled, they don't really have a lot of people they're close to which forces a bit of a codependency friendship early on

one time Christophe couldn't see or talk to Damien for a day so he tried to tunnel down to hell. he got pretty far, considering it's impossible without demon powers

they get together pretty early on in their lives. like, while i picture gregstophe starting to date in more of a young adult part of their life, i think damstophe would be high school sweethearts? not a very "sweetheart" vibe but... you know

i talked more about it here but they are such menaces to society... there's nothing they love more than a good bar brawl or grand arson 🥰 ideal date night

Damien lighting Christophe's cigarette with a little tiny flame and Christophe letting him have a drag is how they say "I love you"

they do still say "I love you" for real sometimes but they prefer for things between them to go unspoken but still understood (they are kings of misunderstanding and miscommunication)

Damien calls Christophe "DeLorne" even after they get married and Christophe takes Damien's last name. he tries out pet names but none ever really stick and Christophe doesn't really like "Chris" or "Tophe" which are the only nicknames one can get from his name. on VERY rare occasions, he'll call Christophe by his first name but only ever if they're alone

Christophe usually just calls Damien by his first name, but sometimes he calls him "mon amour"

they eventually settle in hell bc Christophe winds up there fairly often anyway due to his line of mercenary work (Damien keeps reviving him and his enemies are scared and confused about how he keeps coming back)

the worst fight they had was from Damien taking Christophe to see the royal hellhounds as a surprise bc he thought it would be funny. Christophe nearly killed him.

and bc i love to be self indulgent, recently my favorite thing to doodle has been fankids, in particular Damien ones bc i love demonic-y designs and I can wave away them meeting w something something demon magic... and anyway, my damstophe kid Bia is absolutely the rudest of her half siblings but i love her very much so she is forgiven <3

of my favorite Damien ships, i just think he and Christophe would both adopt the attitude of "we don't give a shit about what you do" regarding their kid (both growing up hating their single parent but not having anyone else and so. complicated feelings lol). they care about Bia but together they're very bad at parenting 😅 any morals she has were taught to her by a desperate Kenny or Gregory wanting the next ruler of hell to not be a complete brat

[mlmxreader]

Drunken Confessions | Steve Murphy x m!reader

@areyouwaiting asked: YO MR WHITE

Can I request a Steve Murphy x drunk male!reader fic?

Reader gets fucking wasted at some bar/party, Murphy has to come pick him up and on the way home the reader drunkenly confesses that he has a big fuckin crush on Steef but he knows he doesn’t have a chance bc Steef is "straight"

Steef’s brain just kind of short circuits bc uhh guy he’s in love with just confessed his feelings for him ???

+ prompt: “Can I just hold your hand for a bit?"

summary: Steve isn't sure what he's hearing when he picks you up and you confess what you really think of him.

tws: drunkenness, smoking, swearing

Steve wasn't expecting the call, in all honesty, but when Carrillo called him and asked him to pick you up from a party, he was a little nervous; Steve was always nervous to be around you, you always took his breath away and made his hands shake as his heart thundered. He was nervous, but when he got to a party, music blaring and people singing and drinking and smoking and kissing and touching, he did his best to push his nerves aside skntbat he could find you; luckily, his first guess, that you would be out in the garden and either somewhere up a tree or sat staring at the stars, was the correct one, and as he approached, Steve cleared his throat.

You were gone. Humming to yourself as you grinned, and when you turned to see him, you laughed loudly and threw your arms around him. "Stevie!"

With great caution, mostly so that you wouldn't fall, Steve returned the embrace for a moment. "I'm here to take you home, (y/n). Carrillo said you had too much and you... you tried to do a strip tease."

You scoffed, shaking your head and stumbling backwards as you lit a cigarette and laughed again, your words slurred. "I did not! I was just dancing!"

Steve hummed, frowning a little, but he shook his head, and he kept his arm around your shoulders, letting you cling onto him as he gestured towards the way out. "Why don't we just get you home?"

"I'm not even that drunk," you grumbled. "What? A guy can't have fun anymore?"

Deciding not to answer that, Steve guided you towards his car; his flat was closest, followed closely by Connie's - she would let you crash with her and her surgeon boyfriend without a doubt, and they would absolutely take great care of you. The flat you shared with Javier would be too far away, you would either fall asleep or you would forget which number you lived in, given your current state; so Steve settled on going to whichever was closest. His flat.

He could look after you, he knew he could; it was only drunkenness, it wasn't anything serious.

He just about managed to get you into the car, making sure that your seat belt was on as he navigated the deserted streets; not a single soul was about, too many people throwing parties or partying at clubs and pubs. At least it made the journey home easy, even if Steve did have to park around the next street thanks to his usual parking spot being taken up by several motorbikes.

"We have to walk a little," Steve told you gently, making sure that you were holding onto him as he dared to make the first few steps towards his flat. "You okay?"

"Y'know," your words still slurred heavily. "I always did know that you was the handsomest and beautifulist man."

Blush came across his features as he stiffened up a little, clearing his throat. "You really are drunk."

"Relax," you sang. "You're fine... I knows you're straight and I don't have a chances. It's just a schools boys crush, no worries. You're fine."

Steve could hardly believe what he was hearing, and although he wanted to blame it on the alcohol you had drank, he knew that the substance only ever made people admit to things that the wouldn't normally; you were telling the truth, he knew that, but he couldn't believe it. For years, he had had a crush on Carrillo's ecologist, and now he was hearing that you had a crush on him, too. He felt like he was going to pass out.

"You're fine," you continued. "I knows straight blokes get a bit... bit funny when you tells them that you think they're fucking beautiful. But it's all good, baby!"

"I'm... (y/n)," he sighed, swallowed thickly as he grumbled quietly to himself and shook his head. "I think you're attractive, too. I really do, but right now, my biggest concern is getting you to bed."

"Oh!" You beamed. "You wanna get me in bed, do ya?"

Steve couldn't find it in himself to answer, getting you up to his flat and unlocking the door before he lead you to the bedroom, he got your shoes off and tossed them aside before helping you to get into his bed; he made sure that you couldn't fall onto your back as he squatted by the side of the bed and smiled, gently running his finger from your temple to your jaw.

"Get some sleep," he said softly. "I'll be on the sofa if you-"

"Don't leave," you reached your hand out, and pouted. "Can I just hold your hand for a bit?"

Steve nodded, giving you his hand and sitting with his back against the nightstand, sighing as he let you hold onto it tightly; he wasn't sure what he was going to throughout the night, but he couldn't complain about sleeping in such a position. He'd slept in worse places and in more awkward positions before. Besides... you were begging for his attention, and you were pleading for him to stay.

Maybe in the morning, he would talk to you, properly, about what you had said, but for now, that could wait.

if you liked this fic, REBLOG IT - you SHOULD reblog it; spam likers WILL be blocked. as will blogs that refuse to reblog or to give feedback. if you don't wanna reblog, then you'll get blocked; reblogging is the BARE MINIMUM. don't just "like", REBLOG

[dead-boys-club]

[ phone draft things ♡ old request bc everyone who requests them likes to see them in pain, apparently ; kokonoi, inui ]

A sunflower.

The day you turned sixteen, a small, beautifully colored sunflower bloomed on the crease of your wrist. You remember the ache it brought you, looking over at Hajime who had also been waiting and you hated it, hated what you got and the world you lived in; your boyfriend wasn't even your soulmate. He was too scared to look for his, afraid of the same reason but when he looked up, he could see by your expression that it didn't look too good.

'What.. did you get?' You asked, clinging to that little bit of hope you had. You'd grown up with Hajime and honestly, a sunflower would have never come to mind for him. He looked around so he could answer, even having you check places he couldn't see, only to chuckle weakly.

'I didn't get one.'

You didn't know what was worse: the fact the world had given you someone you didn't know or the fact the boy you loved was fated, by the world's cruel game, to be alone. He smiled and shrugged, trying to hide how upset he was at the discovery. 'What about you?'

Holding your hand out, you mumbled; 'A sunflower.'

He traced it with his fingertips, the smile falling from his lips and his expression turning rather neutral. You didn't know what to do but your heart ached. 'But! But.. that doesn't matter! I love you. A silly little mark can't change that.' You nodded firmly and turned your arm, taking his hand, 'I don't know who it belongs to but it'll always be you.'

It seemed to brighten him a little but he was holding onto the doubt, insecurities growing rapidly in the back of his mind. Besides, you'd heard stories about people not being with their soulmates. You did your best to be optimistic, squeezing the raven's hand. If only you knew the thoughts blooming in your boyfriend's mind.

'Guess you got your marks,' interrupted a familiar voice and you looked up to see Seishu settling down at the table, dropping his chin into his palm. 'You don't look too happy.'

Hajime just shrugged and you frowned, giving the blind a pointed, disapproving look. 'What about you? What did you get?'

He shrugged slightly. 'Had a friend cover it up without finding it. I don't really care to know.. it'll just be annoying.' He had a point and maybe you should do the same, just cover it and forget it. You took the bit of advice and searched through your bag for the first aid kit you always carried along.

Upon finding it, you dug around and eventually placed a bandage over the mark, content that it was now hidden. 'There. It's like it doesn't even exist now. Come on! Why don't we go get something for lunch, huh? My treat.'

Seishu hummed and just got up, waiting for you both. Hajime hesitated but got up, holding onto your hand a little tighter than usual. 'Yeah, let's.. get some food. Maybe it'll get rid of all of this.' He offered a small smile, falling into step towards your usual place. You really wished there was something you could do.

--

Staring ahead of you at the door, you spaced out entirely, even as it opened to two familiar faces walking in. Hajime and Seishu shed their uniform coats as they came in, stopping to look at you with rather concerned expressions. 'Everything okay?' Your boyfriend questioned, eyebrow going up as he moved to settle beside you.

'Huh? Oh! Yeah, just spaced out,' you chuckled, closing your book and setting it aside, watching the way the blond made sure the uniform wasn't going to wrinkle. However, it was while looking at him that you saw it, the mark he'd gotten on his birthday. Hajime, still being concerned about the state they found you in, followed your gaze and before you could somehow stop him, he saw it.

'What..?' Was all he really managed to say as he got back to his feet, eyes widened and expression showing nothing but shock. It melted away into that same heartbroken face you'd seen the day he learned he didn't have a mark. 'No.. no, it's not..? It's not..' he couldn't manage to get out a full sentence, hardly able to comprehend what he just learned.

Turning around and looking between you, Seishu was visibly confused. 'What? What happened?'

You just looked down, hand over your wrist and trying to figure out a way to make it better but would anything really work?

'Your mark, Seishu.' Hajime had his hands curled into fists, trying to settle himself down. He didn't know if he wanted to curse him out or cry or just pretend he didn't see it. 'Your fucking mark. Did you know?'

The question made you curious but why did it matter? Seishu said he kept it covered because he didn't care. That wasn't really uncharacteristic of him, so why was it suddenly coming up. That was, until the blond let out a sigh.

'Didn't at first because I really didn't want to know,' he answered, shrugging, 'when I realized what is was, I kept it covered for your sake. It's not like I asked for it. It doesn't matter.' His hand raised to offer a dismissive wave but that wasn't the end of it.

Hajime broke down slightly at the words, no longer able to hold back the tears that threatened his waterline. 'So? Does it really not matter? Or, are you saying that for my sake, too?'

You stayed quiet, watching the two and hoping it didn't end up in an actual fight. Seishu shifted awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck, no doubt debating on his answer. In the end, he decided to be honest and quite frankly, you wished he'd kept his mouth shut.

'It still doesn't matter. I don't care what a mark has to say. I liked Y/n before I got this stupid thing.'

You wanted the world to open up and swallow you whole hearing the confession and Hajime, well, that was the final straw for him. He shook his head and left the room, roughly pushing past the person considered his best friend. Seishu nor you moved, staying in silence and wondering just how things would go from that moment on. Had you just lost your relationship because of fate's cruelty? Had Seishu lost his best friend? Your own tears began to fall as you thought, pulling your knees close to your chest. Eventually, Seishu left the room.

[heartfucksmouth]

today has been hard. we've had hardly any help from myles mom this past week, and although I kicked absolute ass at managing that and did a great job, it's caught up to me and I'm exhausted and in pain. it's also much harder to live with the people who suddenly couldn't be bothered with offering their help anymore. she randomly made him baby food and fed it to him whole I held him on my lap a couple times but it was... weird of her to do that in my opinion. she hasn't watched him for more than 15 - 20 mins. idk it just feels insulting and like her obsession with being ~number one grandma~ is absolutely contingent on if it's convenient for her. she also was like "I don't remember this phase with my boys" re: teething being a nightmare and I'm honestly sick of her saying that kind of stuff. she was NEVER THERE raising her kids. her mom watched them bc she lived with her. she'll ask if she can make a bottle for me after I've already grabbed the pitcher and put the bottle together with one hand. the bitch could never. I do so many things one handed... she'd rather put him down and let him cry (which is why we're pretty fine with her not watching him) but idk I'm so fed up with her presence.

I'm so glad my mom is coming in the morning bc this kid has screamed multiple times and only JUST fell asleep after 3 hours if me trying to get him to settle. I hate that his teeth make him uncomfortable and i hate the way he cries when I have to take his arms out of his sleeves. it breaks my fucking heart seeing those big fat teardrops and him crying "ooowww" even though I think that's just the sound. I'm terrified of hurting him, bc I'm terrified he's hypermobile like me and experiencing joint pain already. meanwhile myles mom constantly tells my child he's faking and crying crocodile tears. I want to punch her so hard. babies can't fake cry. you fucking heartless ogre.

anyways my arm is asleep from holding and rocking and swaying in the dark. this boy weighs prob 23 pounds and my joints hate me. and I'm still. sweating. I just want to wear a sling or carrier but I'm overheating all the damn time.

[bitch-butter]

but also havve you Seen this is us, because that film felt like notes from ross' therapist turned into a script i was like 👀👀👀👀 sir we really gonna put our mommy issues out there? for everyone????? to see????? Alright. ok sir. alright.

anyway. i also would like. to know your insight. about the Back Packing Trip. because. well. i am. Curious.

i Have seen About Us and it was a sad bad film that made me feel sad and bad for ross as a person, and i thought it couldn't get any worse for him but then i remembered he made A Violent Man, and i was like that's the actual worse thing but Then i remembered it was originally called Ire so not only is he Bad but he's also Stupid.

let's talk about the backpacking trip

first of all, the whole thing is really giving the one scene of call me by your name i can recall where they're like romping in front of a waterfall, and i feel like this trip Also had like a soft malevolent energy from the beginning. 

(also not to be this way but like who backpacks, let alone as a pair? that's like, a front for something else lol. i knew like Peers who Had Money who backpacked together after high school and college but i Earnestly can't imagine what one Does backpacking across Europe together besides finger each other.)

like, it's very sad to imagine in hindsight because Young Ross probably thought this was the beginning of his new life and he was going to take his HBO money and his hot psycho and retire the both of them to Miami Beach or wherever gay people went in the late 90s to Settle Down. it Truly was probably like signed, sealed, delivered at the beginning of that trip, and the waves of young love carried them off on their journey like seraphims or whatever the fuck.

and on a level I'm sure eion Liked him, bc even though I think he should be thrown down a well i just can't Conceptualize him fucking ross, staying homies with him, agreeing to go on a homosexual backpacking trip together, and still seeming to be somehwhat cool with him if he Didn't. the dif is just that i think eion legit was fucking around and refusing to find out, like clearly he had a lot going on at that time and ross was probably just his friend who he fucked on occasion and that was it. it's not technically his fault that ross thought that eventually he'd stop fucking other people and only fuck him, it's trap we've all fallen into on the long road to self actualization. when people tell you who they are, believe them (i learned that watching Vanderpump Rules).

so in my onion this all comes to a head at the end of the trip, after they've been having this like fun sexy time for like a month and a half, when they hit up The Club in Prague and eion is Enjoying himself and ross demonstrably is Not. by now eion is like ok we've had fun c'est la vie and ross is Deeply betrayed by the fact that the love of his young life is making out with other people in The Club and is not being apologetic in the fucking slightest about it. but, again, you knew who this bitch was when you met him. 

and he subsequently has to place a drunken collect call to the area beneath an isolated demilitarized zone, which is where matt settle lives, sounding like - as @airsigns knows - the lyle menendez 911 call where he's screaming crying blowing his nose into the receiver begging for help getting flown out.

suffice it to say, eion stays on his european vaca prob getting fucked and sucked all day and ross has to flee (not unlike Taylor Swift on that boat in the blue dress). and deeply darkly he does think eion might come after him, and guess what? he didn't!

and like their whole relationship ever since has been fraught with the insane tension of eion thinking he did nothing wrong and they were just friends who had An Experience together, and ross who still looks at him like an incubus who ruined his life but who he can never be free of, not only because Band of Brothers became an iconic show and this fandom exists to praise them, but because as hard as he tries young love and first heartbreak doesn't ever Really go away.

[chevvy-yates]

How about beloved Ryder!

Oh, I'm always ready to talk about my black sheep of the family <3 Since I saw no number, I'll just do all of them, so this is probably going to be super long. I'll set a cut somewhere.

01. Full name:

Ryder's full name is Gilbert von Scharfenberg. He hates his real name for a good reason: his family – wealthy pure German Corpo blood. Basically no one knows that he's a Scharfenberg either – except for Vijay, because he was the one who deleted all of Ryder's data soon after he left his old life behind. So, basically if you scan him it would only show 'Ryder' and nothing else (I still write it out here on tblr completely bc it sounds so damn good <3). As soon as the family moved to the NUSA, Ry started calling himself 'Ryder' using it as his nickname from now on. It comes from the German surname 'Reiter' (rider, horseman), which was his first love's surname (who sadly died, getting shot by a Cyberpsycho during a rave in a club in Berlin).

02. Best friend:

Ryder's bestie is Vijay Steyr. They know each other since 2071. Vijay is the guy who helped Ryder out of his old life (mentioned above). They didn't met in person back then but their paths crossed a while later again: they ran into each other at a Depeche Mode party, talked, became buddies, then also lovers shortly after. The relationship lasted about a year and they parted for reasons everyone understood and accepted. Ryder rarely saw V the following year, because he needed a bit time and was busy with his own life/job, but Vijay eventually began to contact him again in 2074 when he got into buisness with Jackie doing merc jobs. They needed someone on the front and Ryder was the best guy Vijay could think of since he has mantis blades and a good know how about Militech and Corpo things as well. After Jackie died on a secret job neither V nor Ry knew about, the bond between the two got stronger again and today (2077/78) they are best friends. If you listen to their talking you could also say they sound like an old married couple. Ryder would protect V with his own life and it's vice versa. Vijay was there for him in his worst times, helped him to settle into his new 'street kid' life and most of all: pep talked Ry all the time tearing that wall down he had built up for years. Vijay is defnitely the reason why Ryder feels content with himself and smiles so often now.

03. Sexuality:

Ryder is openly gay. He doesn't look a lot like one in the first place, but he is. He's always been gay because he never had any sexual interest in women since he can think. Only the opposite gender doesn't seem to notice and he had to refuse a lot of times giving him a hard time to express it in words. He also feels kinda awkward when a woman shows a bit more affection towards him than the usual (he's better with friends after a while), so forgive him for behaving like a douchebag. Sadly he couldn't live out his sexuality for many years because of his family. But since he got away he was finally free to do what he wanted. He's no go-getter though. It's the contrary – he's too shy to make the first move. And that's probably why he's been single a long while as well after the relationship with V (who's the go-getter ofc).

04. Favorite color:

Ryder loves black. He knows there are people who don't accept black as a color. For that phrase he's got another answer: purple and green. Besides black, it's these colors he loves (he just won't wear anything purple nor green). Purple like amethysts he collects and (dark) green like the mysterious German forests he misses a lot.

The rest is under the cut for those who are interested in reading more about him. Beware, it really has gotten long!

05. Relationship status:

Ryder is off the single market. After I created him back in Sep 2022, I already had Vijay flirting with @nervouswizardcycle's Arki (<3), so my original idea of V and Ry together couldn't last and was made into a backstory part instead since I still like that ship that formed in my head when Ryder was only an idea. However, I couldn't imagine him with any official npc and looking for some possible other oc over here didn't bring me much further, and also with no one making a real move either (I waited for it like Ryder would do), I decided just a few weeks back that my boy shouldn't be lonely for so long. It made me sad having to look at him knowing his profile still said 'single', so I sat down and created another oc for him: So, yes! His love interest is Thyjs De Wit.

06. Ideal mate:

Ryder's ideal mate is @nervouswizardcycle's Arki. Arki turns out to be his best gay buddy. There's just ideas existing right now but I'm loving it! The two literally don't like each other at first — well it's more Ryder who has a grudge against Arki, but he will find out soon enough that the two are much alike in many things I don't wanna name now bc it could be possible spoilers for some future fanfiction. However, Arki will be a good mate for Ryder: giving tips in training for battle, trying to control his anger, but also the guy to go shopping with (bc Arki is fashionista, baby!). And the two may have many evenings where they get drunk, laughing over stupid anti-jokes (where V just shakes his head and Thyjs also doesn't find it laughable) and watching a shit ton of anime if they don't do stupid stuff in the city. They are both Scorpios and this is a certain vibe you can't turn off easily once they come together.

07. Turn-ons:

Bottom lip biting. It seriously turns Ryder on when you go from casual busses to biting down onto his bottom lip. He sees that as an invitation to get more passionated. Hard lollipops. The meaty kind. He likes a man's best piece a lot. Especially when they have a beautiful shape and tint. Loud, hard rave beats. Eespecially when it has some naughty lyrics it kind of turns him on. If the right person is with him, this may be a chance for making out on the dancefloor, vanishing into a darkroom or just go somewhere else to get dirty.

08. Favorite food:

Pistachio ice cream. In generall he loves pistachios: salted or not, in combination with chocolate, ice cream – everything pistachio – give it to him. You'll make him be a happy pistachio.

09. Crushes:

Thjys De Wit. He's going to crush on him the first time he meets that Dutch pale soldier boy — Thyjs literally zapped him. There's a lot of pining from Ryder's side. Vijay, however will notice and tries to encourage him to make the first move since Thyjs is not a go-getter either (and has to cope with his own feelings for Ry as well at first). It's gonna be interesting. Don't wanna tell too much, though.

10. Favorite music:

Ryder is a true Raver. <3 He lives for hard and dark techno beats. There's nothing better than that ever enduring repeating bass under his feat. It keeps him going, helps him to vent off his never ending anger for a while, keeps the beast within at bay, while he moves to those amazing loud eletronic beats combined with unreal but also beautiful accompaning melodies. Ryder also listens to Industrial and New (German) Wave.

11. Biggest fear:

His biggest is facing his superior again. He fears nothing more than is father: Wilhelm von Scharfenberg — now CEO of Militech HQ in Night City. There is another one: He's afraid of losing control over the beast within him completely, hurting those close to him. He doesn't know where it came from, it was there one day, accompanying him ever since. It lusts for blood mostly so the chance it takes over in a heavy fight during a job is pretty high. Once he's in a killstreak for too long, he's unable to stop and literally goes berserk. Therfore he has asked his best friend Vijay to take control and stop him if the situation gets tricky. He's got a special mod installed that allows Vijay to hack into Ryder's Berserk Operating System making him able to reset it since the beast seems to feed heavily from this system. Ryder's Mantis Blades will receive an order to retract and he gets unconscious for a short amount of time to make sure he's gonna be stopped. If that case happens and the situation is tricky, someone must be right there to protect Ryder for that time since he will be unable to defend himself. Before every job V double checks the mod and renews the codes to make sure everything works. Ryder isn't exactly proud to always leave a mess of blood puddles, organs and dead bodies behind. It scares him as well since it has gotten worser over time. It's his greatest wish that the beast within vanishes one day the same way like it showed up.

12. Biggest fantasy:

To fly to the moon. Ryder loves space and the universe since he was a small boy. He dreamed to be a space pilot one day, flying people or cargo to the moon. He would love to walk on it as well, feel the lack of gravitiy when he jumps. The moon is very fascinating to him. He's amazed by the surface, all the pattern the craters made, the grey tones. And he very much would love to see how earth looks seen from up there. If you suspected something sexual instead: To have hot, dirty, greasy sex in a tank. Specifially in a retro WWII model.

13. Bad habits:

Ryder has a obsessive-compulsive disorder. He sees himself forced to align everything neatly and symmetrically. He will do it all the time: at home, during shopping, sitting at the table in the Afterlife, aligning billard balls in the Coyjote Cojo, staple Vijay's vinyls in his apartment (he even tidies up V's apartment at times bc Vijay is a bit chaotic). His own apartment is clean and simple, every bottle in the shelf faces with the ettiket, books are placed ordely and even pillows on his bed sit how they should and so on. Besides that Ry is still super fidgety. He can't sit still. It mainly has to do with background music everywhere, so he's bobbing e.g. his leg all the time. But he also constantly needs to play around with something in his hands. He can't sit still longer than five minutes and then repositions. The only times he's not fidgety is when he's sleepy or in fact sleeping. Once he falls asleep he likely won't turn around much and stay in the position he feell asleep in.

14. Biggest regret:

The missed oportunity to run away earlier. His decicion to leave his Corpo life happend when he was already 21. If he had left earlier, he would probably live in Italy now together with Tommy Reiter, his first love, who would probably still be alive as well. Tommy wanted to go away with him, but Ryder was too scared to do it back then, still being a teen.

15. Best kept secrets:

That he's Corpo – a von Scharfenberg. As already mentioned, only Vijay knows about that. Ryder did literally everything for not looking like a Corpo anymore: changed visually completely with adding cyberware, new eyes, getting tattoos including scarifications (to cover own scars), changed his hairstlye, grew a messy beard, trained like a mad-man to gain some muscles for not having to watch the thin useless Corpo boy in the mirror he once was. Starting the life of a so called street kid. His Corpo attitude sadly comes trough at times (and can be extremely helpful for some missions as well). In some cases he sees himself on the high horse thinking he's better than anyone else (but Vijay reminds him of that).

16. Last thought:

Maybe 'Bitte ein Bit'? Idk man, but I have the feeling that Ryder's last thought ever will definitely have something to do with beer.

17. Worst romantic experience:

When he decided to try out bottoming for once in his life. It was a good experience at first but it ended with something unexpected: receiving an exceptionally good fuck that caused him to feel like a supernova seeing stars all over brought some negative connotaion with it: he entirely lost control over his body making him have his mantis blades spring out ready for action. Nobody died though, but it was Vijay who topped him and V has a huge trauma concerning blades … So once both finally relized what actually happened, Vijay got off and fell into a shock he was unable to explain to him. And Ryder ofc was shocked by the thought that he can lose control that hard by just getting railed (the beast within was just evolving and a minor problem btw). The situation could have turned out much worse that night. And this situation is also the cause for their break-up in the end, with both really feeling bad about it: Vijay because he wasn't able to tell him why and Ryder for losing control that hard in such a situation. Since then Ryder never bottomed again, because he can't allow himself to let it happen again.

18. Biggest insecurity:

Ryder has had a lot of insecurities — still has. His biggest besides him not being able to live up to his father's Corpo ideals is probably that he (still) feels he is/was not good enough for anything or anybody. This situation started early in his childhood and reached the worst high as soon as he had to start working at Militech unable to do anything right (he hated this work and it wasn't what he wanted to do), nonetheless he tried hard to make his superior satisfied, but it was quite the contrary in the end. He was treated by his family like ballast they had to carry through, got bullied by co-workers and therefore fell into a huge hole of depression. It took him a long time (and quiet a lot of Vijay's patience) to accept that he's good enough in what he does. Vijay told Ryder more than once, that he is valued, that he is thankfull for Ry's support, and that people appreciate him and that he is a good person. He still does and it is impotant to reward Ryder constantly with nice and cheering words otherwise he's prone to worry about it again. Ryder still has a lot of trust issues towards new people to this day.

19. Weapon of choice:

answered here.

20. Role Model:

Vijay of course. Ryder looks up a lot to his best friend. He wishes he could be more like him. Capable of leading, always having an answer to everything, understand the realm of netrunning, his entire positive character and warm personality, looking forward and not back, the ability to stay friendly towards literally everyone (Vijay is good in hiding his disgust for someone if he want's to, but most of the time he lets people know when he doesn't like them).

[millermenapologist]

https://www.tumblr.com/millermenapologist/753199926568206336/wait-english-isnt-your-first-language-girl?source=share

My reaction after reading the grandfather fantasy paragraph: https://images.app.goo.gl/wcjvkMn1AbRHZ8Bi6

Seriously, how can I unread that? I wanna shoot my fricking eyes.

I... Lmao forgive me but I don't even know what to say anymore wtf. I really wanna know where the hell nabokov took as inspiration to write this character, I mean, this creepy ass psychedelic thoughts has to come from somewhere bc I've read other characters like him in fanfiction/books but their line of thought wasn't this level of gore. Did nabokov took a trip to hell before writing that or what.

The slibling story has some abuse aspect or the only taboo thing in there is the bloodline? Sounds intriguing (and honestly sounds the least problematic of all 3 lol)

Not Kermit, omg.

But... here's the thing about Nabokov: despite many, many, many people ignoring this, he had been, in fact, a victim of CSA at the hands of a family member too.

The true extent of the abuse he went through is very much unclear, and the topic is still debated amongst academics who study his works and life, but we are absolutely sure that something did, indeed, happen. In his memoir, Speak, Memory, Nabokov brings up Uncle Ruka, his mother's brother, and says that the man used to lift him in his lap to "fondle" him, and that he (Nabokov) used to be terribly embarrassed when this would happen in front of his uncle's servants.

Overall, there are many, many similarities between what he writes about his childhood and what he included in Lolita.

Furthermore, he didn't exactly have an easy life, when he was younger: his family lost everything when the February Revolution came*, and they were forced into exile by the Bolsheviks only a year later. They settled into Berlin, and two years later Nabokov's father was murdered during a conference. Then Hitler was elected, and although his family wasn't Jewish, his beloved wife Véra was, which forced him to flee the country with her and their child. And as if this weren't enough, one of Nabokov's brothers, Sergey, was gay, and because he stayed in Berlin, he was eventually arrested and sent to Neuengamme, where he died.

If you live a life like this, I think it's fair to say that you have more than earned the right to write fucked up things lol.

*This is another similarity he shares with Dolores: Nabokov was Uncle Ruka's only heir, and when the man died, he inherited a mansion in the countryside. However, he was never able to enjoy it because, only a year after inheriting it, the October Revolution swept Russia, and the house was no longer his property. This is almost a direct parallel to what happened to Dolores: Humbert handed her 4000 dollars, but she was never able to do anything with it, because she died in childbirth little after.

Honestly, I read Ada or Ardor a while ago, and found it to be fairly boring and confusing, overly-complicated. The writing was brilliant, because of course it was, but couldn't really get into the story, and the few literature professors I've discussed this book with also mentioned that it was difficult to enjoy and definitely not their favorite Nabokov work.

[nymfaia-archive]

i don’t think i’ve explored alta’s truly fucked mental state after shadowbringers ended and that’s a shame, but do know she was Very Much Not Well

[the-final-sif]

okay so in one of the childcare convict posts you mention that tech has piglin instincts so at one point when things are getting intense in the house, he absconds with michael to chill with dream for a bit. can we see some more details of this moment bc i think dream and michael co parenting is really cute and michael getting to have some moments with his two favorite people and feel safe curled up between them

The first thing Technoblade knows, is that life has been unfair to Tubbo. What with Ranboo getting murder, and then losing his kid, then finally getting the kid back after half a year, only to discover the kid had picked Dream as his caretaker? Yeah. That was rough. The second thing Techno knows, is that Tubbo loves Michael. He's doing his best to reconnect with his kid, and although he's not perfect, he's still trying.

The third thing Techno knows is that if Tubbo takes one step closer to him, Techno is going to kill him.

There's a growl coming from his throat, and Michael is in Techno's arms, cradled very delicately. The human part of Techno's brain knows that Tubbo didn't mean any harm. That when he took Michael's hand and tried to lead him away from Dream's door, it was just so they could spend time together. Michael had just been having a bad day, and Tubbo must've gripped a bit too tight.

Michael had let out a whine. A plea for help. And Techno was a piglin above all else.

Across the room, Tubbo was trembling, eyes wide and scared. Techno's instincts and Chat were deeply pleased. Part of him didn't believe it was enough. Part of him wanted to rip and tear and hurt because the child was scared.

Techno took a deep breath. Then another. Then, with all the restraint he had in his body, he shuffled his way out of the living room and towards Dream's room.

The child was scared. The child needed their caretaker. That was more helpful then blood.

Repeating that to himself, Techno made his retreat. Slamming Dream's door open was a near thing, but he stopped himself there too. Really, Techno was showing incredible restraint right now.

Honestly, Techno didn't realize he'd closed his eyes until he felt Michael wiggle in his arms. Blinking them back open, he automatically released the child in his arms.

Michael didn't hestiate, the moment he was released, he scrambled up onto the bed, burrowing into Dream's chest with a pleased sequel. Safe. Happy. Thank god.

Several moments ticked by. Dream was staring, his shoulders were tense and his grip on Michael was protective, but he didn't press Techno for answers. Out of respect or fear, Techno wasn't sure. He wanted to believe it was the former though.

After taking several more deep breaths, Techno moved to sit on the chair next to the bed. Only, it felt wrong. He couldn't see the door. If he moved the chair, then he wouldn't be able to see Michael. His ear flicked in annoyance as he tried to settle.

"Here."

Dream's voice was still raspy, but calm as he shifted his legs, freeing up room on the bed. Normally, Techno would protest, but right now it was perfect. The bed was against the wall, so sitting at the foot of it would let him se everything. He took up his place without comment. Still focused on breathing.

A minute or two must've ticked by before Techno was calm enough to speak. Michael was still in Dream's lap, with some of the blankets pulled around him as he chuffed softly. It'd only been a few hours since they last saw each other, but from how the piglet acted you'd think it was years.

"Sorry 'bout that, Michael got spooked and my brain wouldn't chill."

"Okay." Dream accepted the partial truth for all of about three seconds. "What'd Tubbo do?"

The question was... guarded. Dangerous. As much as Dream might want the rest of them to think he could leave Michael behind at any time, he wasn't fooling anyone. He'd kill for the kid.

"How'd you know it was him?"

That earned him a Look. Honestly, it was total bullshit that Dream could be so judgemental with that mask on. Techno needed to figure how he managed it one of these days.

"Well, I mean, the scream strongly implied he was involved."

Oh. Techno hadn't heard that. He must've still been near feral.

"Fair enough." A second's pause, this was delicate. The piglin in him wanted to call Tubbo a hazard, a danger, say he shouldn't be near Michael again. The human in him knew better. "Wasn't his fault."

Another Look. Goddamnit.

"Michael's just been having a rough day, he got spooked by a horse right after breakfast. Think he might'a caught a wiff of blood when Phil was helpin' change your bandages too. Tubbo was just trying to lead him off, was hopin' you could get some more sleep, but I think he grabbed a little hard."

It was a bit of a ramble, but it lowered Dream's hackles a bit. Not all the way. After a moment, Techno tacked on to his statement.

"It was with his bad arm. He's good with it most times, but when he's already stressed, it's hard."

That did the trick. Dream considered the point and nodded, glancing down at Michael for something. The kid was pouting, but reluctantly made a few handsigns, too quickly for Techno to make anything out, but good enough for Dream. The other man huffed a half laugh. Still raspy and sounding near painful, but present and soothing all the same.

After a moment, Dream spoke, voice soft in that way he reserved for Michael. That way Techno considered himself extremely lucky to be allowed to bare witness too. He knew for a fact Dream never used that voice when anyone else was within earshot, and it made a primitive part of him rumble in pride to have earned that trust.

"Yeah, they weren't lying. I just had to swap out the bandages, and some of 'em were totally gross. That's why you couldn't be there. Phil didn't do anything to me."

Michael accepted the answer, although his little eyes kept a glint of suspicion to them. Dream must've picked up on it too, and glanced up towards Techno.

"Since that's all settled, Techno, could you grab Michael's puzzle? The new one."

Sighing dramatically, Techno heaved himself up and over to the toy chest, snagging Michael's new puzzle that Tubbo had made, and a few of the plush animals that Phil had stitched together. He returned to the bed with his prizes, offering the plushes first to Michael's delight, which bought him enough time to snag the bedside tray Dream used for his meals and set up the puzzle on it.

Michael clapped his hands in joy and started on the puzzle without any hesitation. It wasn't a great start, he wasn't even bothering to sort the pieces or find the corners, but Techno had been told on no uncertain terms was he allowed to criticize the baby's method of puzzle solving. So, he kept his mouth shut.

While Michael worked at his puzzle with his face screwed up in concentration, Dream shifted so he could lean back on the mound of pillows arranged carefully by the headboard. They weren't in a nest shape yet, but Techno had a feeling that they might shift in that direction given time. That was none of his buisness though.

What was his business was the fact Dream was shivering again. The man had been under the covers before Michael came in, and those blankets were now pulled down and trapped under the piglet. Dream wouldn't move the kid either. Not when he was so focused on his puzzle.

So, Techno, who had long since adjusted to the cold, pulled off his own cloak and wrapped it around his friend's shoulders. Sure, Dream had extra cloaks and extra blankets, ones that Techno could reach without standing, but his was already warm. And it was better. By virtue of it being Techno's.

The pleased feeling in his chest was just from taking care of Michael, and it had nothing to do with seeing his sounder wrapped up in his colors. Nothing at all.

Dream didn't seem convinced, but he pulled the cloak around himself all the same. Despite the fact Dream was clearly pleased by the gift, he still gave Techno a Look. Techno couldn't take it any longer.

"How the hell do you do that through a mask? I swear, it's gotta be some kind of magic!"

Ugh. Dream didn't even try to respond. He just laughed at Techno. Not quite his old kettle laugh, but a full, breathless laugh all the same.

Bastard.

God, Techno had missed him.