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princelylove · 5 months

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Thank you a lot for the ranking yandere of the Jofoe, I agree with you on that although I quite suprised that Kars end up being the most dangerous (I thought Dio would be more much dangerous, the way he charm everyone he meet and manipulate them to serve him)

Btw are you still write nsfw request? I hope you don't mind I request it, I would love to know how the first time of Jotaro, Noriaki, Dio with their darling (you can write about your fav character too :>). Like how they prepare for it, how they feel to be their darling's first time, aftercare ?

~ 🏵️ anon ~

What DIO views as “They’ll come around, they always do,” Kars views as “You are my possession from the beginning and you must submit.” Kars is the ultimate lifeform- without his invention of the mask, there is no DIO. When I think of DIO, no matter his age, I always think of the little boy who wanted nothing but love. When I think of Kars, I think of how he left Santana behind. Kars has no issue treating you as something like a prized possession, but to DIO, you’re his everything. Kars doesn’t want worship or something as silly as love, he wants to be amused.

You happened to choose three characters that I tend to view as dominant/enjoy topping, so I threw in some submissive ones, for variety.

Jotaro has no idea what he’s doing. He has no idea what lube is, no idea what aftercare is, no idea what foreplay is- he got all of his sex education from a half assed (Sorry, Holly.) ‘talk’ from his mother, watered down into childish language. He knows he’s supposed to put himself inside you, or something, but he’s… not really sure how it’s going to do that. Jotaro avoids sex for as long as possible- he’s not about to embarrass himself in front of the only person he wants an opinion from. Eventually, when he thinks the time is right (After he watches enough porn to “study”), he’ll work up the nerve to tell you that he expects sex from you. He has a bit of a fetish for you being a virgin. He views it as “pure,” and it plays into his delusion that his darling is the most innocent thing ever and will decay if he stops watching them for a single second. You’re precious, and he’s defiling you… The very thought is enough to rile him up. He treats his darling delicately afterwards, but that's sort of a given considering how fragile he treats you normally.

Noriaki has eased his darling into being ‘comfortable’ with at least foreplay, why not just go all the way? He normally gets his sadistic fantasies out of his system with little sessions- Hierophant Green ties you up and hangs you from the ceiling, and Noriaki tries absolutely everything he’s ever wanted to do, besides from penetration. He hasn’t really thought about it, but one day while toying with you, it occurs to him that he could’ve been doing that this entire time. You’re already bound so nicely for him, it’s such a waste to not at least try it. He supposes he would say he’s only curious- he’s fooled around with people before (If you count flirting and getting disgusted because they don’t meet his standards), but real, ‘proper’ sex has never been something he was very interested in. There’s a first time for everything. Noriaki doesn’t mind your lack of experience, he finds it cute. If you do have experience… it’s generally the smart move to not tell a possessive type that you let someone else see you in that way.

DIO is surprisingly patient with his darling. Sex isn’t everything in a relationship, and he doesn’t want you to just see him as a sexual partner- having it too early can lead to expectations that, although he’d happily fulfil in the right mood, leave a bad taste in DIO’s mouth. He isn’t just a body or cold hands to keep you happy at night. He waits for you to make the suggestion, and focuses on your pleasure, for the time being. DIO’s fairly happy to service you- he thinks that if he pleases you enough, you’ll start to care about pleasing him. It’s only fair, isn’t it? He normally takes a dominant role in sex, touching him is only to boost his ego or to hold on for dear life. He thinks it’s the natural order of things, and will outright refuse you if you suggest that you want to only focus on getting him off. Don’t be silly, pet. Let him take care of you. His pleasure is brought on by your pleasure, he tells you. But, should you take the lead in kissing, or get as handsy with him as he’s been craving… well. DIO loves special treatment, just don’t make him beg for it, since he is actually opposed to pleading for his own darling’s touch, and he’ll roll onto his back nicely for you. As long as you’re not seeking sexual attention from someone else, DIO is willing to put aside how he feels about you having another in your past. First or not, he’s your eternity. You’re very well taken care of. Any aches or bruises are kissed better, and possibly massaged. If your hips ache too much, he’ll have a devotee carry you where you need to be, should his hands be busy elsewhere.

Holly considers sex to be part of her marital duties. She’s supposed to let you have her, right? You can do whatever you want, she won’t complain, as long as you keep telling her you love her. Holly wants your first time to be after you’re officially married- which, to Holly, you already are. What’s in the past doesn't matter, she’ll guide you through how to touch her if you need it, and is a little bit too eager to make you forget about anyone that isn’t your wife. Asking for “aftercare” is not at all necessary, did you think she’d leave you all alone after working so hard? Take out your stress on her, get a little rough or go as slowly as you want, as long as you’re happy, Holly will take it. If you’re not in the mood, that’s fine… but she’ll think she did something wrong, and go sulk in another room for a few hours. It’s better to just get a little cardio done for the day and tire her out, maybe you’ll have some privacy if she falls asleep right after.

Trish will beg you to fuck her. She does absolutely everything she can think of to get you to make a move on her. She’ll put her legs up on your lap when you’re sitting next to her- looook, she just shaved, feel. She said feel. She’ll only wear miniskirts and keep bending forward in front of you because she's “looking for something.” If none of her hints work, she’ll get on top of you, and tell you to do it. She may have matured a lot, but she’s still bossy. Just not during sex. It’s embarrassing- she seriously has to tell you? You should just automatically know when she wants it and how she wants it and to call her pretty and gorgeous and give her soooo many compliments and kiss her everywhere and you get my point. Trish will do absolutely no work, she fully expects her darling to do absolutely everything, and often forgets that you need love after too.

#giggling because it's all part three #BOOM trish #not sfw #cw noncon #cw dubcon #yandere dio #yandere dio x reader #yandere jotaro kujo #yandere jotaro kujo x reader #yandere holly kujo #yandere holly kujo x reader #yandere trish una #yandere trish una x reader #yandere noriaki kakyoin #yandere noriaki kakyoin x reader #🏵️ anon #request granted

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justatypicalwizard · 11 months

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Wants Within | S. Shinazugawa | Chapter 5

✦ Sanemi Shinazugawa x femReader!, college au, reader is adult

✦ Synopsis: You're a college student taking classes with a very strict lecturer- professor Shinazugawa. Because of an unfortunate even you got on his bad side so now you're trying everything to regain in his eyes. Well, you most certainely didn't expect that kind of attention.

✦ Word count: 2,8k

18+, minors do not interact

The sun was slowly getting up, lazily climbing the morning sky. You and your Professor found your way to the hiking trail. You supposed it would be a killing marathon, where you would be climbing the Kilimanjaro, but, to your surprise it was a rather slow stroll up the mountain road.

While there, Shinazugawa started to give you a lecture about the things he wanted you to look at. His knowledge was amazing. Now you know why he became a Professor at such a young age. You also heard that he was the top student, a genius or some sort of that. He quickly started to work at the university, still doing research and getting even higher education.

You wondered how old he actually was. He looked so young, just as if he was only a few years older than you. Who knew? Maybe it was actually the case. If he would have gone to school earlier, or mastered something quicker than others, he could in fact be only a bit older than you. It felt strange, having someone like that teach you.

Deep in your thoughts, you didn't acknowledge that your professor stopped talking. You were also not looking at him, wondering, how come he had no wrinkles on his face and what could that mean.

''Nearly no one came, now, the only person that's actually here is not even listening to me.'' He stopped in his tracks and looked at you in a judging manner.

You also stopped walking and gave him an apologetic glance.

''I'm sorry, it's just really early.''

''If you're also hangover you should head back.''

''I'm not, I didn't stay at that party.''

''Why?''

''Because... we have a lecture today?'' You seemed to ask yourself.

He was judging you with his stare once more. Finally, he sighed and started to rub his temples in annoyance.

''I'm sorry, I shouldn't ask you questions like that, it's not necessary. Forgive my attitude, but I also had to wake up, even earlier, just to find out everyone had skipped this class. Well, nearly everyone.'' He crossed his hands on his chest. ''I'm happy to see I have at least one attentive student.''

Even though everyone in your major basically got scolded, you felt proud of yourself for choosing not to stay at that party. It was nice to see that your professor was happy with you.

''Do you need a break?'' He asked you, tearing you out of your thoughts once more.

''I don't want to interrupt the lecture.'' You answered.

''Miss L/N, this is basically a walk.'' He gave you a smirk.

''If that's the case... yes, I could use a break. I've got some coffee with me that I didn't drink in the morning, this should wake me up in no time.'' You answered happily.

Nodding, he took off to some loose rocks, buried in the dirt. Sitting on them, he also took out some sort of a bottle and poured himself a hot drink. Mimicking his actions, you sat near him and stared at the beauty of the morning mountain in silence.

''I've already said that, but I'm pleased with your work on the project.'' The white haired man broke the silence.

Surprised, you looked at him, but quickly darted your gaze away, noticing that he was looking straight at you.

''Thank you professor.'' Was your only answer.

Another silence.

''Are you one of the scholarship students?'' Another question from Shinazugawa.

''Yes professor.''

''That would answer your readiness to study a lot.''

''Mhm.'' You mumbled back, still not looking at him.

''Are you scared of me?''

This threw you off track. You would never, ever think he would ask you such a question. You thought that lecture would be just him talking about science stuff and ignoring your existence.

''No, why would I be professor?'' You squeaked out.

''Because you end every sentence with 'professor', you never look at me and it's pretty hard to hold a conversation here.'' He was very straightforward.

Now you actually looked at him, mouth gaping, not knowing what to say.

''Well... you can be... intimidating sometimes.'' Your words were quiet.

He sighed.

''I guess I have that sort of reputation. In fact, from my perspective it's about something else. I just want people to be independent. I don't want to see people who can't even find the right book for a whole semester graduating. You need to learn to manage on your own, not ask about everything and seek easy answers.''

That was quite a story. Still, you nodded your head. He was a bit right. Unfortunately, looking at today's attendance, you might be the only person who shares his thoughts. It's not like you don't like to party and have fun. Of course you do. You also do stupid things somethimes, duh, you do them all the time. You just have the opinion that there is time for everything. Partying and studying.

''Are you ready to go on?'' He asked you after a while.

''Yes.'' Getting up, you packed your things and the two of you went back on the road.

This time it was more chill. Not only did you pay more attention to what he was saying, you also started to ask questions and he was pleased with that. Both of you started to talk more about the topic of today's lesson and it became a small debate. Of course he was milion times smarter than you, but you also know a few things, comparing them with your other lectures, giving him a better picture of your actual knowledge. After some time he also started to joke around a bit more. It really felt more like a walk than a field trip mountain hike.

Finally, after a few hours, the two of you reached the destination, the very hilltop.

''I had some exercises planned for this part. You were supposed to do them in pairs, but it might be a problem right now. We will just have to do it together.'' He started, unpacking a bunch of weird science tools out of his backpack. ''I wanted to drink coffee, while looking at all of you digging in dirt and messing yourselfs up, but I guess karma came back and now I'm the one who will have to do that.''

You laughed a bit at his joke. The atmosphere changed a lot. You still kept your cool around him and tried to be professional, but it was lighter. The two of you talked and joked, like two actual adults.

That was the magnificent difference between highschool and college. Here, they treated you like an adult that you were, you were spoken to in a different manner, you handled your things by yourself and had a lot more freedom. Of course it came by a price, you had a lot more responsibilities. Still, it felt sweet and refreshing.

Also, you just stepped on a more friendly path with Shinazugawa.

How good he's also sexy as hell, especially when he is a bit tired because of the small workout.

Stop! That's not what you're supposed to think about. Yes, he may be young, appealing to look at and overall bangable but: He. Is. Your. Professor.

You stood there with a dumb face.

''What are you thinking about? I bet not the topic and how to use the equipment I'm just talking about.'' The white haired sweatdropped at you.

Shit.

''The rocks, I'm thinking about the rocks.''

He eyed you and went back to the tools. Showing you them and explaining the exercise, he gave you some of them. You were supposed to find chosen by Shinazugawa samples like specific soil or plants. You took your time searching for the things. When you found the right one, you would point it to your Professor and he would help you gather the sample. It was mostly him standing upon you and holding some sort of a container. It looked like this until you had to dig out a rock, or at least a part of it.

''How?'' You asked, pointing at the rock, sunken deep into the dirt.

''This was also a part of my diabolic plan to look at you and enjoy.'' He sighed. ''Look, we'll just dig around it and try to uncover as much as possible, maybe there will be a pointing edge that we'll be able to chop or scrub off. These ones are kinda soft.''

The white haired man crouched down next to you, looking at the top of the rock, peeking out of the soil. You sat on your knees and started to dig around with a small shovel, just as he told you to. He was doing the same. The top of the rock was small enough for your hands to work really close. While you were trying to kinda move the dirt to the side, Shinazugawa was digging deep, using his muscles to get rid of as much dirt at one time as he could. It was all going smooth, until he stuck his shovel into something hard underground. This made the man wobble and you nearly got hit by his white covered head.

''Wow.'' You exclaimed, looking at him fighting with the shovel.

''Field work, get used to being physical.'' The man spatted out, finally removing the tool from the ground. ''It's not as clean and easy as sitting your ass in the university.''

The sun was high, there was very little wind and you both worked hard, well, Shianzugawa harder. He looked really into what he was doing. No doubts he is passionate about his research and overall university work. Still, he got hot.

Unzipping his fleece, he took it off and tossed it aside. Underneath, he had a white, fitted tee. When he straightened his back and arms the muscles under the material moved in a hypnotising manner, you didn't even realise that you were glancing.

''What are you doing?'' He asked.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my fucking god. He caught me staring at his abs. He totally knows and now I'm fucked. I think about banging my professor and I'm fucked.

''I didn't realise I was also hot. Stupid of me, I could get a cold if I overheat myself.'' You spatted out quicker than you thought, and it was kinda a good explanation yeah? You were looking at him undressing because you wanted to undress yourself.

That didn't sound well, but you guys know the case.

Leaving your shovel, you also unzipped your fleece, feeling the burning in your cheeks. It was unusually hot for fall. Guess you're closer to the sun but not high enough for it to be snowy. Or you just got caught on checking out your professor. You put it down, folded neatly only to reveal the sleeveless shirt hugging your figure.

Oh no, is my decolt not too big for this occasion? I didn't think I would be taking this off.

''You sure must be hot.'' Shinazugawa said before going back to digging and you, once more, thought about stupid things.

Finally, the two of you found what you were looking for, a standing out corner. Looking at Shinazugawa you realised he was giving you his shovel, it was sharper than yours, ending with a pointy edge. Taking it, you looked back at him.

''What? I'm not the student here. Manage on your own.'' He pointed to the rock.

Okay, you can do this. It's just chopping off a bit of a rock. You literally had to have a tiny piece. But what if you look dumb doing it? Ah girl, whatever, you'll look dumber not doing it.

Shifting yourself in a good position, you hit the rock with the shovel, one hand at first. Nothing happened, the tool just bounced back in your grip. You hit it a few more times and still no progress, not even a microscopic bit falling off the stone. You tried a different angle and two hands. Nope. Stone not cooperating. After a few more tries you heard Shinazugawa talk.

''That's not how you do it. You see, as I said earlier, this is one of the softer rocks available in this part of the terrain. If you knew a bit more about the geology of this place, you would also know how to handle this type of sample. Let me show you.'' You just looked at him, sinking in whatever he was saying.

He looked so focused and kinda... happy, doing what he was doing.

The man gestured you to stand up. He told you to bring both of your hands up, with the shovel. Then, he started to undo your fingers and change their position on the tool. You watched as he briefly touched you, sensing something electrifying in your back. Both of you looked at his hands, managing your own, yet, you thought about something entirely different.

His thoughts circled about how you didn't know the necessary material for this exercise, why you didn't know it, who was your professor for the lacking subject, how it was kinda funny that you look so amused by just holding a shovel, and how small your hands are compared to his. Oh, there was also one more thought on Shinazugawas head that he very much didn't want to think about. In fact, he was trying hard to get rid of it, scolding himself and turning the situation around in his mind. Yet, he was not able to not think about your bouncing boobs in that tight, sleeveless shirt.

You on the other hand hardly thought about anything science related. His touch was weird, kinda tingling. It made you want to giggle a bit at how stupid you are right now. You felt like a ten year old that just fell in love. Laughing internally, you shrugged it off. Just you being you. You accepted the fact that Shinazugawa was attractive in your eyes and that's it. He's just a nice looking guy, and nice looking guys tend to mess in people's minds sometimes. When the trip will be over you'll go back to seeing him rarely, on the lectures, calling him 'Mr sexy' and joking about him with Anna.

''Look.'' The white haired man started once again. ''You need to use the sharp edge of the shovel to peel off a fragment, just like that.'' He showed you the motion in the air.

You tried to do the same, but the shovel slided off the stone. A few more attempts came out with nothing.

''I'm sorry.'' You sighed, embarrassed that you can't do something so simple.

''It's not as easy as it looks like.'' You were surprised to hear some sort of an uplift from his lips, rather than a scold. ''If you get it once, you will remember it.''

Shinazugawa positioned himself next to you. One of his hands went to the handle of the shovel, right in the place where you were holding it and covered your palms. His other hand did the same, but first it rounded your figure in a wide gesture. Now, he was kinda behind you, showing you the motion on the stone. Apart from your hands, he was not touching you in any other place, but you felt his warmth, radiating from his toned arms.

''Hold on, I'll help you strike harder this time.'' With that he pushed the shovel into the stone.

You felt your hands being squeezed in his, the quick and strong movement made you wobble in his arms. Supporting your shoulder on his, you went back to your straight position. Looking down on the rock you cheered. A nice, long piece of it fell off.

Instantly, Shinazugawa let go of you and backed out. Maybe you would spott how eager he was to get away from your body right now, but you were more interested and amused with the stone that you were already turning around in your hands.

''We have the sample!'' You faced him with a happy grin.

''You have a sample, I just helped you a bit.'' The man didn't smile, but inside, he was also pleased. ''I'll just have to say sorry for the...'' He paused for a bit, looking for the right words.

''Oh, please don't be, I don't mind it. It's for the sake of the research and I always knew some things, especially physical ones, can't be done alone. Right now I'm happy that I got this one.'' You put the piece up to the sun, to see it in a better light.

Shinazugawa breathed a sigh of relief inside. He was afraid he'd gone too far with touching you without your straightforward consent, but it came out you also had some researcher particle in you and you didn't mind the small obstacles on the road. Looking at you, he thought that it's still kinda weird for someone to be so happy about a stone, but whatever, you do you as long as you study.

SERIES MASTERLIST

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #demon slayer sanemi #kimetsu no yaiba sanemi #sanemi shinazugawa #sanemi x reader #sanemi x you #college #university #college student #shinazugawa x reader #demon slayer shinazugawa #shinazugawasanemi #sanemi x y/n #sanemi smut

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theculturedmarxist · 6 months

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This interview was conducted with a public health employee of the Hawaii State Department of Health (HIDOH), as part of the WSWS Global Workers’ Inquest into the COVID-19 Pandemic. The worker chose to use the pseudonym Robert to protect their identity.

Evan Blake (EB): Thank you for participating in the Global Workers’ Inquest into the COVID-19 Pandemic, it’s a pleasure to interview you. Can you describe your background and training in public health before the pandemic?

Robert (R): My training in public health began more than 25 years ago, initially centered on women’s reproductive health. I earned a degree in Public Health. My focus soon broadened from just women’s health to everyone’s due to the ongoing HIV/AIDS crisis.

Throughout my career, I collaborated with various organizations, including academic institutions and community health centers, to develop programs targeting most of the populations in the Bay Area. These initiatives encompassed health education, addiction support, and promoting healthy relationships, as well as offering HIV/AIDS and HCV [hepatitis C]testing, counseling, contact tracing, case management and patient navigation services. When I moved to Hawaii, I continued doing health education and working with those experiencing developmental disabilities, aging and chronic illnesses.

EB: What were your initial experiences when the pandemic began in early 2020? How would you characterize the initial pandemic response of DOH [Department of Health] and state officials more generally in Hawaii?

R: I noticed in December 2019, when there was talk of unusual illness in China’s news and social media. Seeing how it was being handled there made me concerned. There seemed to be more effort in hiding it than in handling it.

I waited for our government to mention it, especially on a more local level. I really thought that since, historically, the Hawaiian Kingdom has had effective quarantine and mitigation practices, that the current leadership would follow suit. My thinking was that we don’t have rabies in Hawaii, so obviously we know how to keep viruses out.

By February, I started contacting the DOH to hire me to help out any way possible. This looked like something that could easily be squashed if they rounded up all the HIV experts and put them to work. In early March, I put my disabled clients on quarantine. I bought a bunch of fabric and a serger and my family and I made hundreds of masks. Airborne transmission has always been known.

On March 4, 2020, Hawaii’s Democratic Governor David Ige declared a state of emergency in response to COVID-19, granting the state greater flexibility in responding to the crisis. This is officially when the problems with disappearing COVID funds began. On March 26, Ige issued a stay-at-home order, closing nonessential businesses and implementing strict travel restrictions.

I participated in the statewide Lt. Governor’s COVID town halls. Stay-at-home orders in March and May helped keep the numbers low. I waited for the health department to do something and cranked out masks. Schools had gone online at this point. It went pretty well for us. My kid’s school was really proactive about making sure the kids had access to what or who they needed, including computers.

My partner was labeled an essential worker because he was in construction. His boss took full advantage of this allowance and I wrote several of our state’s representatives who seemed actively concerned about COVID, about what to do in this situation.

By the end of May 2020, Dr. Mark Mugiishi, the chief executive of HMSA, brokered a deal with the UH Manoa nursing school to provide students to be trained as contact tracers. They were supposed to have seven different cohorts, but they stopped at three or four. Most of the trainees were never hired to do any work in the DOH and a majority of the graduates got letters stating thanks, but no thanks. The DOH only ever brought on a couple hundred contact tracers. That was after they got in trouble for not having enough and refusing help.

All the tracers and investigators started out being hired by agencies other than the DOH. This meant that we had no rights, but we had the same responsibilities as any other employee would have. We didn’t get hazard pay, union, or PTO, couldn’t participate in any of the benefits or mental health support and other programs they regularly provided and encouraged all employees to participate in. Most of us worked from 7 a.m. to late in the evening most nights. Most tracers and investigators were not from the locally COVID-trained cohorts.

A majority of the COVID hires weren’t brought in until much later in 2020 or in 2021. More were needed and available and instead of hiring tracers or case management, a call center was contracted to bottleneck the high volume of calls and cases.

State officials are notoriously reactive to any problem, emergency-related or not. The officials in charge of HIDOH when the pandemic was officially recognized were ill-fitted for their positions. Their responses were lackluster at best, with Sarah Park (state epidemiologist, COVID response leader) coming in to the UH Manoa COVID trainings to tell us that contact tracing was ineffective, as well as other disease mitigation techniques that we were being trained on, like routine screening.

When the contact tracing program started at the DOH, the National Guard was tasked with training us and facilitating most of the COVID mitigation efforts. This was after they had only received one day of training themselves. I met not one of them who had any health background whatsoever.

It’s been a performative disaster from the very start. Our DOH and state leadership were instrumental in encouraging the spread of COVID-19. State officials were slow to respond and, when they did, it was never an appropriate response. Hawaii usually sees at least 30,000 visitors per day from all over the world. They did everything in their power to keep that going.

EB: You mentioned that DOH employees were split up into different groups, including groups working with prisoners, homeless people, sports personnel, the wealthy, etc. Can you describe this in more detail and the class divide in the pandemic response in Hawaii?

R: DOH employees as a whole are siloed and do not collaborate or even have the slightest clue what the others are doing ever. It was difficult trying to get resources or info from within when trying to access data or connect people with other services. It was deeply embarrassing to me sometimes how incompetent everyone was.

For the pandemic efforts, the entire venture was militarized and we were beholden to chain of command operations as civilians. We were not allowed to speak to our higher-ups. Many were discouraged from speaking to anyone.

The contact tracing and case investigation were separated into several different focus groups headed by epidemiologists. These epidemiologists already had a disease focus and their loads were not lightened. They were added to. Most of them are not in fact actual trained epidemiologists. They have fallen into the position often through nepotistic means and meet bare minimum educational requirements. They had a lot of weird toxic drama that affected program function overall.

For example, if your team’s epidemiologist didn’t get along with a different team’s epidemiologist and you needed a file or lab result or info about an individual in their category, they may delay the info or just never give it to you. It was the worst addition to an already extreme high-stress situation.

The main group management often fell to the inexperienced National Guard, who were under the epidemiologists. Each group’s numbers fluctuated and usually had about 7–15 people, half National Guard, half civilian. The focuses were separated into schools, food service, military, healthcare and LT facilities, travel/VIP, Pacific Islander, severe/death, correctional facilities and homeless.

We had to wait for the daily cases to be handed to the epidemiologists. They would post new cases as they were processed into the system usually via an external call center, who received the cases mostly via the department’s only fax machine.

HIDOH hired an external call center to handle what was called first contact calls. This was actually one of the biggest obstructions to actual contact tracing or any real handling of infected patients in a timely manner.

First contact call center got the first reporting of the case. The report would come in via fax (another massive problem). That person’s name and number would be taken down and someone from the call center or the National Guard would call and ask screening questions about their health and symptoms, often with not much health training. They had three days for the individual to answer before they stopped calling and threw it out.

By the time investigators or tracers got the case, it was often 5–10 days old. We never did real contact tracing in the department. Real contact tracing would involve calling the case immediately to help them trace and notify anyone who may have been exposed. It would also involve timely and actual distribution of resources, including testing, food and money. This is not what happened.

I saw hundreds of people who were overqualified for resources denied or provided the offered resources too late. Some tracers did what could be considered “guerrilla tracing” because they had their contact info passed around for those who needed help and couldn’t get through to the health department when they needed to, or they just needed resources or their results.

A majority of people who were infected did not receive a call from the DOH or any help. They also didn’t receive guidance on quarantine or health at all. Internally, there was never training or updating on variants, pathology or how to ask sensitive questions and talk to the general public. There was a lot of secrecy and internal guidance that wasn’t health-oriented or generally useful. It was often self-congratulatory and bloviated.

This all increased the class divide as those in the service industry couldn’t afford to heal or get better and many lost and are losing their jobs. Those who were able to sealed themselves away. Admin stayed in their offices and told no one to enter, and there was an increase in work-from-home jobs for those with privilege or education, like myself.

EB: Hawaii has the highest per capita number of active US military personnel of any US state and is the state’s largest income producer, yet tourism is often claimed to be the state’s dominant industry. What were the roles of the military and the tourism industry in relation to the pandemic?

R: The military has largely handled their own COVID cases, navigation, and often not sharing when they have clusters that directly impact civilians.

The tourism industry has a finger in everything. They have been extremely instrumental in helping COVID spread. Tourism interests are largely against the people of Hawaii, who are more often harmed than helped by their existence. Tourism and business degrees are what steers most of the boards of every institution in this state. You will find significantly more business degrees than Kanaka (Hawaiian person) representing leadership in the islands. Tourism is why most of those whose birthright is the islands are homeless or not in the islands.

Both industries had large roles in facilitating spread. They pushed to keep everything open and often refused to cooperate with the HIDOH in COVID mitigation efforts.

EB: How have the federal pandemic funds approved under Trump and Biden been dispersed within Hawaii? Can you describe any corruption or negligence that you’ve seen in this regard?

R: I can pretty much only describe corruption and negligence regarding the usage of funds. The HIDOH let over 30 million dollars’ worth of badly needed COVID tests go to waste and then spent over $60,000 to destroy them. The schools never saw much of the Elementary and Secondary School Emergency Relief (ESSER) funds put to use in the schools for mitigation efforts. Countless non-profits denied resources to the community. A robot dog was purchased to test homeless people for COVID, over $1 million were spent on Thanksgiving turkeys in Maui. Oahu’s police department got a bunch of new toys.

The HIDOH never upgraded their information transmission capabilities. They depended on two fax machines for the entirety of the COVID efforts, meaning that all data and case info was transmitted through these machines, slowing down any work or real efforts.

The machines ran over the weekend and whoever was on the following Monday had literal piles of data to enter into the system for reported cases, hospital data, etc. The whole venture has been performative negligence. The funding was better and more resources were distributed while Trump was president. Biden is an absolute disgrace, considering he campaigned on getting rid of COVID.

Most of the funds that could have been used to improve the community and help mitigate COVID were used irresponsibly and have been absorbed by the state. Governor Ige went out of his way to pass legislation that approved shady usage of funds and halt transparency. Governor Green is even worse. The COVID response was just a preview for how Green is handling the Lahaina fires.

EB: Schools reopened with less and less mitigation measures each year, causing repeated waves of mass viral transmission. Can you describe this process and the public health measures you advocated for them to implement? What was the response of various officials to your efforts? How are you seeing the impacts on children, including with Long COVID?

R: The 2020 school response was much better than the following years. Students were provided Chromebooks and instruction from their teachers. It wasn’t implemented in a way that made it easy for many instructors and families, but it was the safest option that was provided.

The following year, the district (the state has only 1) offered something completely different.

In-person instruction or a program for those staying home, that required the parent or caregiver to spend 4–6 hours per day implementing. With no live teachers or real support offered from the school or Department of Education (DOE). The schools who offered it didn’t even know what it was or how it functioned. They just referred parents to the program’s website or phone number if they needed any assistance.

Often parents who required more support or Special Education (SPED) services for their children were ignored, punished, had CPS called on them, or were harassed by some school’s staff and admin.

In many of the poorest areas, where much of our service industry workforce resides, the schools didn’t even offer an alternative to in-person classes. I’m in one of these areas and I removed my child from her school after they refused to provide any support or programming besides that awful program they were offering which forced the parent to provide instruction without support. I already had a job. They called CPS on me. They would send staff to my door every week to sign unnecessary paperwork. They did this for two years. Officials didn’t care. The School’s Superintendent and the super for my area was never even available and never returned calls. I called weekly. I was working on so many cases connected to our schools the whole time, it was no question about removing my kid.

None of the public schools had their air systems improved or HEPA filters added. Some were using hand sanitizer on children’s desks in between classes when they were supposed to sanitize them properly. There wasn’t any solid guidance provided to the schools. Every time I got through to a school nurse or principal about a case, they begged for info on what to do and how to handle mitigations with all the sickness.

Sickness in children and school staff wasn’t being reported accurately because contact tracers were instructed not to connect cases in the classroom with each other. This kept the cluster report low. Many teachers were punished for mentioning their own infections and they were not allowed to notify students’ parents either. This devastated our community, since it has one of the highest counts of multigenerational households in the nation.

Josh Green, who is now Hawaii’s governor, was the head of the COVID Task Force. His main messaging has only ever been regarding vaccines. He spent a significant amount of time pointing the finger at many of our Pasifika communities in regard to their vaccine hesitancy instead of working with them to mitigate COVID in other ways.

When the 2021–22 school year started, the district was ill-prepared and kids weren’t approved for vaccines yet. The school’s superintendent, Christina Kishimoto, was completely useless at getting any mitigations in the schools at all. She ignored the entire community, including so many teachers and parents who tried to keep or make the schools, or at least education, safe and accessible to all.

Senator Brian Schatz and others who had been previously notified about in-school spread and the actual numbers present instead of the falsely low reported ones, maintained the script that children needed to learn in-person. Even after in-person learning saw children being shoved together in cafeterias all day without proper instruction due to sick staff, those in charge maintained that the children needed to be in schools. This was supposedly for their mental health and education, which had never been prioritized previously.

Hawaii has had a major deficit in adequate and accessible education, as well as mental health care providers and services, for a very long time. Additionally, we don’t have school nurses in each school like many contiguous states offer. Many of our schools share a nurse and may not have an area for children to be sick or wait for someone to get them from school.

In-school cases often fell to vice principals and other staff. By the 2022–23 school year, schools had removed any guidance that was useful. They never upgraded or improved the air systems. Many of our schools have had problems with lack of proper air conditioning for a long time before the pandemic. The pandemic just made it worse.

There was a program created at the start of the 2022–23 school year to make the DOH, DOE and CDCF work together to improve the conditions in the schools. The HIDOE refused to meet or participate in any improvements to their school’s systems, provide resources such as testing, PPE or pandemic guidance.

Our state leadership has met with many COVID experts, DOH employees and medical staff who have told them what is happening in their districts, classrooms, hospitals and the community throughout the official pandemic and even now. They all have given lip-service and often have reacted appropriately in those meetings but nothing ever comes of it.

At first, children were just getting cold-like symptoms like everyone else. Those who had existing health issues usually suffered more. Not many children’s cases were followed past the initial call. Over time, Multisystem Inflammatory Syndrome in Children (MIS-C) became a focus as the children’s symptoms didn’t always go away.

Since Omicron emerged in November 2021, kids have had an increase in seizures and a lot of problems with focus and memory. My child has had several friends die from COVID. Long COVID in kids is terrifying, and the impact is already noticeable. Mine just stated that what everyone needs to know is that it’s harder for kids to learn now. She notices so much brain damage in her peers already. Before she got COVID, it was easier for her to process information. Things take much longer now.

To be honest, I’ve rarely seen an actual full recovery. People move benchmarks and brain damage is extremely hard to self-identify. COVID is long and lasting. Nearly every infection shows damage whether it’s noticed or not. For those who don’t have immediate consequences, it’s playing the long game.

EB: How else are you seeing the ongoing impacts of the pandemic associated with COVID-19 infection, including Long COVID?

R: I noticed very early on that regardless of how mild the cases were, there were often residual issues with the person’s ability to handle and process information. The one symptom that should be tracked more than temperature is cognitive ability—confusion, disorientation, odd and unusual thoughts and behaviors. The ongoing impact of any COVID infection is a significant amount of unchecked and untracked brain damage. It’s very difficult to self-diagnose and most of our medical providers are still unaware of COVID and how it presents.

Getting infected with COVID can reduce the immune system’s ability to function. Each reinfection can reduce immune function even more, inviting opportunistic infections to eventually kill us. This is how HIV functions, but at least there is treatment for that. There’s no treatment for Long COVID and there’s even less treatment or care for those under 12 years old. The impact I see right now is immense. Children and young adults are exhibiting Alzheimer’s and dementia-like symptoms, and there are huge increases of cancer, diabetes and heart problems at the population level.

EB: What have been your experiences advocating for Long COVID patients, and what are some of your greatest concerns with the “mass disabling event” of Long COVID associated with the pandemic? What do doctors know or not know, and what do you think needs to be done to address this?

R: While documenting cases in 2020, some had symptoms that just wouldn’t resolve. A few threatened to commit suicide and were in constant and severe pain. Many of their doctors didn’t believe them. I would contact their doctors and explain what Long COVID was. I would send them studies if they requested and would tell them what labs or referrals to order for their patients.

Many doctors were receptive at first. Some would gaslight the patients, saying that they were experiencing anxiety and not their actual ongoing COVID symptoms. I made an extra effort to contact those ones because they were making the patients worse and confused. I spent hundreds of hours on social media spaces giving talks about COVID, Long COVID and what I was seeing. Other Long COVID sufferers and advocates would join.

None of this data was being collected or distributed by our DOH, regardless of how the variants mutated or the community was being impacted. Any attempts to send information up the chain of command to the top were ignored and sometimes punished.

Over time, the doctors I was working with were getting Long COVID themselves. It led to a significant reduction in care for their patients. Some would brush the issue off because they had it and they were working, which they thought meant they were fine.

Doctors need to have proper information and guidance. Without it, many people are being told COVID isn’t really a problem. They trust their doctors to know about COVID. Their doctors are unknowingly feeding them to the fire. Vaccines are only one layer of a many-layered solution, and at this point vaccines aren’t very effective at preventing infection as the virus continues to rapidly mutate and new variants continue to evolve.

In terms of public health as a whole, the CDC is looked at as the main guidance for all these institutions. They need to be putting out clear messaging about COVID being airborne, the fact that an infection commonly lasts anywhere from 14–20 days, each reinfection can reduce immune function, and COVID is a vascular disaster that can wreck any and all organs of the body. These are things that scientists have known since 2020. There is absolutely no reason Drs. Rochelle Walensky and Anthony Fauci didn’t know the correct protocols for handling this pandemic. They both have HIV backgrounds.

My greatest concern about this mass disabling event is that I live in Hawaii. Disabled people were hidden, ignored and underserved here before the pandemic. It was nearly impossible to find mental and behavioral health services and they were often insufficient at best.

When everyone keeps getting reinfected, they will not be able to function. There’s low availability for services now and it’s already getting pretty noticeable. My friends working in the hospital are reporting incredibly low staff numbers and extreme burnout. We only had nine ambulances in circulation a couple weeks ago due to callouts.

Suicides, mental hospital stays and inability to function are becoming increasingly common and we’re just getting started. Since the pandemic began, there’s been an increase in car and plane accidents, heart attacks, diabetes, cancers, previously rare disorders and sudden deaths. Currently, COVID is listed as the third leading cause for death in the US, but if data were properly collected, COVID would be number one.

I took someone to the doctor for a head wound to be stitched and the doctor didn’t even mention concussion protocol. He said strange things that hadn’t been relevant regarding COVID since 2021. He behaved odd and childlike.

This mass disabling event is largely invisible. Many cannot self-diagnose the brain damage that a significant percentage of infections cause to some degree. It changes moods, thoughts, function, and can make people confused or angry.

My biggest concern is that with mass infection and reinfection, everyone is getting their brains melted. Who will take care of anyone when no one is left healthy and functional? Who will grow our food, participate in society, or even be able to get out of bed after we’ve all had multiple infections? Who will be left?

EB: Those are critical points, and concerns that should be more widely shared. The propaganda of the corporate media and political establishment has had a real impact, and prevented masses of people from understanding the dangers of COVID-19 and Long COVID.

Changing topics somewhat, when we spoke before you said that “Lahaina is an active crime scene, just like the COVID situation here is also an active crime scene.” Can you elaborate more on this and the criminal negligence that you believe caused this catastrophic fire? What other connections do you see between this fire and the COVID-19 pandemic?

R: Just the fact that there’s such a focus from those in charge on reopening and getting back to work tells me everything I need to know. The community just experienced a life-altering trauma and instead of really taking care of them and helping them get situated and time and resources to heal, it’s full-steam ahead. Open up, get back to work, go to school. Don’t worry about how you’re going to pay that mortgage on the burn pile where you used to live.

Just like with the COVID pandemic, the Emergency Management Agency lead didn’t have experience. They didn’t sound any alarm, and clearly weren’t well versed on emergency response protocols, otherwise they would have correctly used the emergency alarm system. Instead, Herman Andaya reasoned with everyone about why he didn’t think they were necessary.

For COVID, Josh Green facilitated thousands of tourists freely and consistently infecting our community with almost no guidance other than to get vaccinated. He gaslit us for years from his whiteboard and scrubs. He got even worse after he got COVID. The brain damage is real.

Why didn’t Maui sound the emergency system that is used for emergencies including wildfires? Why didn’t HIDOH enact their public health police powers to protect the community from COVID? Why do they both consistently report false numbers? Why do they both tell the community about resources that exist, but in reality are not actually available? Why is the community being forced to bear the brunt of the outcome of both disasters alone? Why does our leadership refuse to work with the community to solve either issue?

I know how greedy and careless this government is first-hand. Especially when local people are involved. Both disasters have resulted in very high losses to our Filipino and Pasifika communities.

How are we the only state without a fire marshal? Why is there never anyone held accountable? How do all these incredibly incompetent folks keep getting replaced by more incompetence? Nepotism. It has led to incredible incompetence and I have to assume it’s why there’s no accountability or oversight anywhere or for anything.

EB: Since the beginning of the pandemic, the WSWS has advocated for the full deployment of all available public health measures to eliminate SARS-CoV-2 throughout the world. Multiple countries proved that such a Zero-COVID strategy was possible, and we now know even more about viral transmission.

We have stressed that the fundamental reason this global elimination strategy has not been implemented is due to the division of the world into rival nation-states and the refusal of the capitalist ruling elites to accept any impingement on their ability to exploit workers and generate profits. What are your thoughts on this, and do you agree that we need to fight for a global elimination strategy?

R: The SARS-CoV-2 pandemic has exposed the challenges associated with the division of the world into nation-states, each pursuing its own approach to pandemic management. It’s been an absolute disaster.

When the virus first hit and people began seeing consequences and acting accordingly, I thought we had a chance at stopping the virus. Then the countries with more behaved greedily. They hoarded and wasted resources in the face of the countries who couldn’t get access to resources from the global market.

We are all in this together and no one is getting off this rock alive. Working together is the only way to get rid of this virus and all the others that have been popping up in the past few years.

Unfortunately, such an approach seeks to prioritize the well-being of individuals and communities over economic interests as Cuba has done. They developed their own COVID-19 vaccines. They consistently have the lowest reported COVID cases and deaths globally. Often close to zero. Their vaccines work much better than ours have been.

This reflects true commitment to public health and an ability to leverage existing medical and scientific infrastructure to respond to the pandemic independently.

EB: Thank you for this invaluable interview and contribution to the Global Workers’ Inquest.

R: Thank you.

#covid 19 #hawaii #long covid #covid response #covid pandemic #class war #brain damage #Rochelle Walensky #Anthony Fauci

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luminouslumity · 6 months

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Mainland Boys: A Joseph and Billy Story

From Kendare Blake's newsletter: a snippet set on the mainland during the time that Joseph was banished there with Billy.

By the winter of his sixteenth year, Joseph Sandrin had been away from Fennbirn for what felt like a long time. But only when he thought about it. Most days, he was as any of the other mainland boys his age: concerned with his studies, and the break from his studies for the holiday, concerned with prospects of sport, concerned with whether he and his foster brother Billy Chatworth would merit an invitation to the Governor’s Ball. Most days, he was of the mainland, for that was the ground beneath his feet, and those were the lives that surrounded him.

But sometimes, and more often when he was near the sea, he thought of his old life, the one he had led as a boy on that shrouded island of magic. He would think of hot, steamed clams in butter, and birds perched on shoulders. Dogs and petulant cats with such expressive faces that they could sometimes seem to speak. He thought of fields full of barley that popped at a touch. And mostly, he thought of his girls: a dark little queen with a coal-smudged nose, and the naturalist girl with one green eye and one blue.

That day, at the start of December, he stood at the edge of a frozen pond, edged with dead, tanned reeds. Close enough to the sea, he supposed, to spark the memories of the island. Or perhaps it was only that it was December, when both of his girls would celebrate their birthdays.

“Joseph! Ho, Joseph!”

Joseph smiled, listening to the soft crunching in the snow as Billy approached from the direction of the house. Then a sharp crack, and a laughed curse: his shoe must have broken through the ice. “Stop walking on the pond, dolt,” Joseph said over his shoulder. “The ice isn’t thick enough yet.”

“Damn, my foot is freezing!” Billy threw his arm around Joseph and shook him. “What are you doing out here?”

“Thinking.”

“Thinking of Christine Hollen? Squirreled away in the privacy of the Governor’s stables?”

Joseph chuckled. Christine Hollen was the Governor’s daughter. His oldest daughter. She would not be seen cavorting with the likes of him, a foreigner, a foster-son, not even if his foster family was one of the richest in the city.

They had come north for the holiday, like many of the best, most respected families had, including the Governor. The Chatworth’s country estate, Hartford, was not far from the Governor’s own. It was actually visible from the most eastern hill. Joseph ought to know. Billy had brought him up there plenty of times, dreaming of the day he would buy it right out from underneath the Hollens at half the value.

“I’m not about to play around with the Governor’s daughter. Your father would have my head.”

Billy let go of him and tugged his scarf up farther on his neck. “Well you ought to do some playing at least. The lads are starting to talk.”

“You know I’m…waiting for someone.”

“Ah yes.” Billy grinned. “Waiting for someone. And that would be the infamous Jules Milone, wouldn’t it? The girl you haven’t laid eyes upon since you were eleven? The girl you may never see again if I don’t become king of your home country?” He cocked an eyebrow and burst out laughing. Joseph did as well. Billy Chatworth, the king-consort of Fennbirn Island. It sounded ridiculous, and seemed impossible.

Not impossible, he thought as he looked at his foster brother from the corner of his eye. Difficult. But he must have been sent to the Chatworths to groom Arsinoe’s future husband. Why else would the Goddess have sent him? He had clung to that belief in the early years, clung to it hard, filling Billy’s ears with stories of Fennbirn. His education, in Joseph’s mind. But now that the time of the Ascension drew near, it felt more and more like fancy. Made up by his childhood imagination, to make his banishment bearable.

“Only a few months left,” Billy said. “Finally, after all this time, I get to go to your secret island. I have to admit, part of me doesn’t believe it exists. Part of me expects to board the boat and find you and my father laughing your arses off at your magnificent, five-year practical joke.”

“But we don’t know if it’s ‘we’, do we?” Joseph said. “I’m still banished. You might be on your own.”

“On my own? No, not after so long.”

“The Black Council doesn’t often let go of a grudge. Why do you think I’ve been preparing you all these years?”

Billy shrugged, the carefree mainland boy, even in the face of courting a queen. A queen who would have to murder her two sister queens, no less. But Billy had grown up on the mainland, with no gifts, and no Goddess. No queens and no Black Council looking down over everything. He had grown up with money, and with power, and with ease, and the struggle of the queens would not be real until he saw it for himself.

“You worry too much, Joseph. My father will work something out. He always does.” He blew warm breath into his cupped hands. “It’s freezing out here. Let’s go into the village and grab a pint before the party tonight.”

***************************************************

The walk to the village was short, but Billy insisted on taking the carriage anyway on account of his cold, wet foot. As they were let out near the pub, something in a shop window caught Joseph’s eye.

“What now?” Billy asked, following as he went to press his fingertips to the glass.

It was a ring. A simple, silver ring, set with dark green stones.

Billy leaned close. “That’s nowhere near fine enough to catch the prettiest girl in three counties.”

“Christine Hollen is not the prettiest girl in three counties. She’s only the wealthiest. And I wasn’t thinking of her.”

“Of course you weren’t. This is more to Jules’s taste, then?”

“When it caught the light, from over there…it looked like the color of her green eye.”

Billy leaned back and squinted. “So it does.”

“How would you know?”

“Well, I did have that old cat, with one blue eye and one green—”

Joseph smiled. “Stop comparing Jules to your old deaf cat.”

“I loved that cat. And I’m willing to bet that I remember the shade of that cat’s eyes better than you remember the eyes of some eleven-year-old girl. She might not even have those eyes anymore. They might have,” he wiggled his fingers vaguely, “darkened and whatnot. It’s unnatural for you to have carried on about her this long when you don’t even know what she looks like.”

“I know what she looks like.” Or at least, he thought he did. He remembered so well that girl of five years ago. Her smile. Her clothes. The sound of her voice. And as time passed, and as he grew up, so did the Jules of his imagination. Her hair grew long and tumbled down her back. Her face thinned and her eyes softened. Her laugh changed from the high, wild laugh of a child to the low, easy one of a young woman.

Of course, anyone who knew her family could have told him that the girl he was imagining was really only the image of Jules’s aunt, Caragh, with a dash of her mother Madrigal thrown in as wishful thinking. When Joseph imagined Jules, he simply conjured up the most beautiful girl he could think of, because to him, that’s what she was.

“It’s nearly her birthday. Sixteen, just like the queens. Born in the same month.”

Billy sighed. “The same month as Arsinoe. My bride-to-be.”

“Your queen-to-be.” Joseph watched as Billy’s eyes lost focus, and the blush crept into his cheeks. Billy imagined Arsinoe the way Joseph imagined Jules. Over the years, Joseph had built Arsinoe up, highlighting her virtues: her bravery, her wit, her fierce, affectionate spirit. He may have left out some other things, like that she was stubborn as an old donkey, sarcastic and secretive. And of course he had told him she was beautiful, when he had no idea. When they were children, Arsinoe was just like Jules: dirty and running about, and she had kept her hair very short. Poor Billy. All queens are beautiful, they say, but in Billy’s mind, Arsinoe must look just like Christine Hollen, only with black hair and eyes. And though Joseph does not doubt that she will be lovely, she will not be lovely like that.

“I can’t wait to meet her for real,” Billy said, his voice wistful. Then he straightened, and tugged on his lapels. “Queen or not, one look at me and she’ll faint dead away.”

“From fright?” Joseph laughed, and Billy tugged him back down the street to the pub.

****************************************************

Despite the chilly winter air, the party was warm. It was a dinner party, and so not terribly crowded; certainly not as crowded as the Governor’s holiday ball was bound to be, though that was on more expansive grounds.

Joseph, as usual, stayed back from the dancing, content to stand by himself at the window and imagine what Jules and Arsinoe would make of the mainland dances. The mainland girls in their frilly frocks, with lace at the sleeves and ribbons in their hair. Perhaps he should have warned Billy that Arsinoe would be constantly in trousers. But no. Why ruin the surprise.

“Are you not dancing again, Joseph?”

He did not need to turn to know who that purring voice belonged to, but he did so anyway, to be polite. “I’m afraid dancing has never suited me, Miss Hollen.” Christine Hollen, the Governor’s daughter, stood before him resplendent in green satin that made her blond hair shine like spun gold. Somehow she had managed to get herself alone. Usually she was flanked by a small herd of girls of similar age and social status. Watching them Joseph was reminded of the geese that wandered to and from the pond on the Milone property.

“I could teach you,” Christine said quietly.

“So I could dance at your wedding to Billy?” he asked, and she tossed her head back and laughed.

“Billy Chatworth has not looked at me once since this summer.”

“But he speaks of you often. Just this afternoon he told me you were the prettiest girl in three counties.” She does not blush much at that. No doubt that is a lower number of counties than she is used to. “You know that if he decides not to go abroad, he will pursue you in earnest. And when he does, then I’ll learn to dance.” He excused himself quickly, and ignored her dropped open mouth.

He moved through the rest of the party, making sure to appear to be searching for Billy. If he was idle for one moment, some girl would be upon him, trying to drag him out for a turn on the floor. Room after room and he did not spy Billy; after four rooms he began to search for real. He even poked his head into the drawing room, where the men sat smoking cigars and playing cards. But Billy was nowhere in the house.

“So which girl is also missing,” Joseph muttered as he stepped out onto the porch. The winter air was cold, but still, and an earlier dusting of fresh snow coated the trees and fence posts and made everything soft. Even in the blue light of evening, it was not hard to follow Billy’s footprints.

As he walked, he heard Jules’s voice in his ear like he so often had when they tracked something as children. “Here’s where they started to hurry,” she would have said, and, “here’s where she picked up her dress to stop it dragging in the snow.” They hit a snow drift, and the girl’s prints ended. “Oh, for Goddess’s sake,” he could hear Jules sigh. “Here’s where he picked her up.”

He followed the trail to one of the stables. Not the busy one where the coach drivers were having their own bit of merriment as their horses rested and stayed dry, but the nearly deserted one that housed the horses owned by their host. He opened the door and it creaked, but not before he heard the low laughter and rustling of clothes.

Joseph shook his head. He stomped his feet. He gave them plenty of time to put themselves together before he climbed the ladder into the hayloft, but even then, Billy’s tie was undone and Penny’s dress was askew.

“Joseph!” Billy exclaimed and put his hand to his head in relief. “You gave us a fright!”

“As I should. You’re starting to be missed.” He nodded to Penny, who blushed as she brushed past him.

“Will you—will you make it back to the house all right?” Billy asked, and she paused on the ladder only long enough to glare.

“What are you doing?” Joseph asked when he heard the door open and close again. “Just this afternoon you were dreaming of queens.”

“So I’m practicing.” Billy grinned. “Besides, that festival you keep going on about isn’t for months.” He peered regretfully at the ladder after Penny. “Not terribly gallant, I suppose.”

“Not terribly.”

“I’ll be better. I will.” He threw his arm around Joseph’s shoulder.

“If you ever treat Arsinoe that way…”

“I know, I know, you’ll strike me dead. And I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Joseph clenched his jaw. “Sometimes I don’t know how I expect her to come to love you like I do.”

They walked together back to the house, and upon entering, ran directly into Billy’s father, Mr. Chatworth. Instantly, both boys straightened. Mr. Chatworth was an imposing man, though Joseph could never put his finger on why. He was handsome, but not extremely so, tall, but not towering. It was something in the eyes, perhaps. You always knew that he had the measure of you. That he saw through you, the moment you opened your mouth.

“There you are,” he said, and smiled. “Joseph, I need a moment with my son.” He led Billy without a word up the stairs and into a private office. It did not matter that it was not his house, and not his office. Chatworth did what he wanted, and somehow that earned him respect. Back in Wolf Spring, it would have earned him a punch in the face.

Content to wait, and away from the party at least, Joseph paced slowly at the bottom of the stairs. It seemed a long time before Mr. Chatworth came down again, and smiled at him, and patted his shoulder. Billy followed after, looking a bit dazed.

“What was that about?” Joseph asked.

“He received a letter,” Billy replied, and as he spoke, his face lost its paleness, and his mouth curled into a smile. “From your island. Your banishment has ended early, brother! You’re to go home before the end of the month!”

Joseph could barely breathe. He threw his arms around Billy and they shook each other hard. “I can’t believe it!”

“And that’s not the best part! I’m to come with you, and stay with your family. Get a bit of a head start with the queens.” He punched Joseph in the arm. “I told you my father would figure something out.”

Joseph’s head spun with hopes he had been too afraid to have for the last five years. He was going home. Home to his mother, and father. Home to Matthew and Jonah and Wolf Spring. Home to Jules. And to Arsinoe, with the gift of a fine husband.

Billy reached into his pocket. “And there’s this,” he said, and pulled out a small box. He opened it, and inside was the silver ring that Joseph had admired in the shop window. Even in the dimness of the hall, the green stones glittered. “I doubled back for it when I sent you home ahead.”

“I can’t afford it,” said Joseph, and pushed the box back.

Billy shook his head and placed it in Joseph’s hands. “I’m not going to let you go home with nothing for your girl.” Then he turned him back to the party, his grin wide. “Joseph my friend, we are going to take that island of yours by storm.”

#three dark crowns #kendare blake

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jenn0wow · 4 months

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Batgirl: Ignite Part Two

Link to part one: https://www.tumblr.com/jenn0wow/734964837205114880/batgirl-ignite

After discovering a 100 year old university secret and taking down a cult of brainwashed sorority girls, Barbara Gordon has set her sights on off-campus crime this school year. However, her investigations on a mysterious string of arsons gets interrupted by Nightwing, who has a job to figure out who she is and stop her. Meanwhile, Barbara’s school life gets interrupted by Dick Grayson, and her quiet life on campus gets disrupted.

—-

CRIM365 was on the third floor of a building that smelt and probably felt like an ornate wooden casket--well, what he imagined it would feel like in an ornate wooden casket. Something about that place at 9am reeked of death which seemed like the appropriate ambience for a crime history course.

He never thought about ever going to college so he wasn’t sure what to expect out of this whole experience. Not that he didn’t think he shouldn’t or he couldn’t go--the moment he was adopted, he knew that possibility was open to him--, but more that he didn’t think it was what he wanted. He wasn’t really big into school, mainly the whole structure of it. He didn’t go to school while in the circus--surprisingly one of the clowns was previously a school teacher so he sort of taught the children on tour. After Dick was adopted, he was given a set of private teachers, kind of like he was homeschooled, but in the most rich and privileged way possible. He would have gone to Gotham Academy if he wasn’t so far behind his age group in certain subjects. The education part wasn’t a struggle, once given the proper structure, he actually excelled in all his classes. However, It was a bit isolating--to be in Wayne Manor with just adults trying to make him ordinary, and then Bruce making him extraordinary. The Teen Titans luckily changed all that for him, but now that’s all over. That was all his fault too.

Room 308. He turned in and immediately, he felt the room shift in attention. Of course everyone was staring at him. He had gotten used to it after his biology class and his English class and in the halls and, basically everywhere on campus. He wasn’t completely uncomfortable with it. He understood their fascination with him, and it made talking to everyone pretty easy. After his trip, he had just forgotten what that kind of attention felt like again.

Dick politely waved at everyone as he walked down the rows of seats. There weren’t many open--was he supposed to get here earlier than the time listed? He made his way to the back to an empty seat where he thought he was going to be alone, but then he saw a girl--sort of crinkled up in her seat with her head in a book.

He sat in the empty seat next to her, waiting for some sort of interaction of “Hi, thanks for sitting next to me, do you wanna be study buddies, blah blah blah blah. Please follow me on Instagram!” But, there was silence. Nothing. Maybe she was just nervous, shy. Maybe he’ll make the first move.

“Hey, so do you know when this class starts? I didn’t think everyone would be here this early.” He said, hoping for a response.

SIlence, again.

He waited a few more seconds of silence to causally stretch his arms up, feeling his sore muscles scream a bit from last night’s fight. He leaned back in his seat to look at her better. Maybe she had air pods in or was hard of hearing. When he looked past her book, however, he learned that she was actually asleep. Like deep asleep.

He paused, trying to figure out what he should do. He’s heard about college students being super tired, but didn’t think he’d see someone sleeping on the first day of school.

Dick weighed the most polite thing to do. She did look super tired so it felt rude to wake her up, but also if class started and she was still asleep, she could miss something. As he looked at her longer, he realized he knew her face from somewhere. It was the moles on her face that triggered something in his memory.

“Gordon.” He said, not really meaning to blurt it out.

Her eyes blinked open. “Huh?” She pushed her glasses up a bit then rubbed her eyes. She looked around a bit confused and saw him staring at her.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up!”

Barbara pushed her hair out of her face and sat up. “It’s okay…” she was clearly embarrassed.

“You’re the commissioner’s daughter, right?” He asked, needing to know if he was right or not before he stopped bothering her.

She nodded like she was anticipating this interaction and went back to looking at her book.

“Wait, we met before, right?” He asked, knowing he was still bothering her, but needed to make sure.

“Yeah, it was that gala at the History museum.” She said. Was she disappointed he didn’t really remember? A little, but it wasn’t surprising.

The teacher walked through the door and immediately started talking. Dick wanted to keep talking, but obviously he couldn’t.

He did remember that day. There weren’t many kids there that night and at some point they found each other next to each other. She was all dressed in black, not like she was in mourning, but that she just liked to dress that way.

“I don’t wanna be here.” She muttered under her breathe.

“These things always suck. I can get us into the kitchen and sometimes you can get the desserts early because they feel bad for you.”

They both slipped away to the kitchen and snagged two raspberry tarts. They ate them in secret into the dinosaur exhibit.

“So this is your first rich people party?”

Barbara nodded while taking a small bite of the tart. She didn’t really like it and started picking at the crust. “Yeah, my dad has been invited to a few things in the past, but usually my mom and I stay home together. He doesn’t like me staying home alone. My aunt is busy tonight anyways.”

Dick nodded. “Bruce thinks it’s important for me to understand the business world. I don’t mind it though. It beats staying at home and playing chess with Alfred.”

She looked at him. “Who’s Alfred?”

Dick rolled his eyes. “The butler.”

“Oh, so you’re rich rich?”

“Bruce is rich rich and I’m just partaking in that richness.”

Barbara placed the plate of raspberry filling on the ground. “Does this feeling ever go away?”

Dick looked at her, not sure what she meant.

“Like, you’ve put placed in the wrong timeline and there’s nothing you can do about it?”

Dick looked down at her plate and then back at the ceiling. “Never. Everything feels wrong always.”

She looked down at her lap with a familiar sadness he’s felt before.

“There’s still good things to look forward to. Like sitting in a room full of dead dinosaurs eating free dessert.” She smiled a bit when he said that. He then looked down at the plate again. “Are you going to eat the rest of this?

She shoved it closer to him. “No. It has little seeds in them.”

He picked the plate and started to eat it without a second thought. “More little seeds for me.” It wasn’t shortly after that Bruce came looking for him.

“Dick, it’s getting late. We gotta go.” Which was code for ‘the penguin is raiding an underground weapon’s black market on the south end.”

Dick had almost forgotten that small moment. He’s had so many big moments since then. Being Robin kind of squeezes out anything less than extraordinary or life endangering out of the memory system.

Barbara hadn’t changed much from that moment. Her hair was shorter and she had dyed it. She still had a sad pout on her face. Quiet, but obviously had things to say. It’s crazy how life brought them back together like this. At least he’ll know at least one person on campus while he’s here.

The class was dismissed and Barbara quickly packed up her stuff and sped out the room. Of course, he was gonna chase after her.

“Barbara, hey!” She walked faster after she heard that, clinging to her tote bag tighter.

He jogged up next to her. “This is crazy! It’s been like what six years?”

“Probably.” She said, quietly.

“How are you doing? Are you a criminology major as well? Following in your dad’s footsteps?”

Her eyes started darting around as if she was nervously finding an answer. “No. It’s just an extra credit I needed.”

“You’re taking a level 400 class as an extra credit?”

“And you’re taking a level 400 class as a freshman?” She threw back and then shook her head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to seem rude.”

“I took a few online courses before I got here so I’m a little ahead.” That was true. In his last year of school, he took a bunch of online college credits in math and English and other stuff. Finally they came in handy. “So what are you majoring in?”

“Pre-med” she said, disappointedly.

“Oh so, I should call you Dr. Gordon.” He said, jokingly.

She winced and then remembered what Harleen said about lying just to please people and make interactions easier. “Actually, I am majoring in Crimiology, but also Pre-med. and then minoring in computer science.”

Dick blinked at her. “Damn.”

“But, my dad doesn’t know criminology is one of my majors.” She said, looking away. “He wants me to be in a safe profession.”

“Fair. He’s seen some crazy stuff…I’m guessing.” Dick said. “So why’d you stay in Gotham? I’m sure you could have gotten into Harvard or Yale or something.”

“I guess…I don’t know. I guess, I was wondering that same question with you.” She said, and Dick felt a cool breeze pass in him when she said that.

“In-state tuition is cheaper, I suppose.” There was a pause, he realized what he had said. “Okay, I know what you’re going to say.”

“Oh, I wasn’t going to question it.” She said, “but, yeah. I was thinking it.”

“Bruce is more or less forcing me to go to college. I was able to convince him to let me take a year off, but he said pick any college and I didn’t care so now I’m at GCU.”

Barbara nodded. “Got it. I’m still in Gotham because of my dad too, I guess. I still visit him on the weekends.”

There was an alert on her phone and she quickly checked it. Fire on 34th street. She quickly scrolls through her phone to look at it better. “I gotta go.” She said, starting to walk away. “Sorry, it’s my dad!”

She speed walks away, muttering, “that’s three this week…” she holds her phone speakers up to her ear to listen to the police scanners.

Dick watches her leave, not sure what to make of her. Not really sure she liked him or really cared about him, but he’d take any ounce of attention at this point.

#merry Christmas 🫡#I liked writing this part cuz I got to include of how Dick grew up.#batgirl #Barbara Gordon #dick Grayson #Nightwing #Gotham #Batman #dc comics #fanfic #dickbabs #babsdicks #barbara gordon x dick grayson #batgirl x nightwing #fanon #dc fanon #dc au #dc comics fanfic

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whatdoyoumeanitsnotcanon · 2 years

Note

(I'm back with a second helping of Guilliman soup)

Terra was beautiful at night.

It was the curse of a historitor, you supposed, to know so many heartbreaking truths. The first time you saw a painting of the ancient oceans of Terra, long lost, you cried. There was so much the people of the Imperium didn't know, and perhaps never would. Maybe it was for the best, to never miss what you didn't know you had.

Either way, it was all in the past now. You weren't a historitor anymore.

And you were getting married tomorrow.

You glanced back at your regalia. It was a magnificent ensemble, gold and white, grand in the style of the old Imperium, but soft, warm. You hadn't had much of a say in what you were wearing. Or any of the planning, for the matter.

The more you reflected, the more you wondered how much of a say you really had in the whole affair at all. It might have been different, had you been marrying a normal man. But you weren't.

Throne, you were going to marry Roboute Guilliman.

A few months after the fateful confrontation in his office, the two of you had been sitting in his personal chambers, conversing late into the night over a bottle of wine, as had become your routine.

The courtship had been awkward, at first. It still was, in many ways. Despite your education, you were basically a backwater bumpkin who had stumbled into the right credentials and experience, and he was... A demigod. The age difference, too, haunted you a bit. But neither dissuaded him. He continued to visit you, to ask you to visit him, when there was time. You moved, slowly, from separate chairs to sharing the ottoman to leaning against each other. He was warm.

The bottle was nearing empty, and there was a pleasant buzz around your senses. You leaned against Guilliman's arm (though you called him Roboute, sometimes, intimately, Rob in private now.) And he stroked your shoulder, pulling you closer. He spoke into your ear.

"Marry me."

"No preamble? Should I be offended?" You chuckled and looked up at him. He wasnt laughing. You sat up. "Rob, oh, you... You weren't... You weren't joking, were you?"

"No. I am not."

"It's early. It's only been a few months, I don't think... Are you sure?"

"I've never been more certain of anything in my life."

You let out a long breath. "I'm... Can we even do that?"

"Of course we can." He added, more quietly. "I made sure if it."

You stopped, suddenly finding a fascinating pattern on the rug.

Roboute knelt in front of you. "I swear to you, not an ounce of harm will come to you as long as I draw breath. I will bring you stars in a gift box if you ask it. I'll lay worlds at your feet. Let me show you. All I ask is that you stand beside me. Think about it tonight, and give me your answer tomorrow evening." His eyes were alight, it took all your courage not to shrink. He leaned forward and kissed your forehead, then left.

You didn't sleep that night.

When you told him yes the next day, the chamber bathed in the amber light of the Terran sunset, he swept you into into his arms and spun you around, the both of you laughing.

And now you were getting married, in possibly the biggest hoopla Terra had seen in centuries.

Roboute wanted a small ceremony, but the Administratum would hear none of it. After all, what better story to sell the people of the Imperium than a royal wedding? It made a nice reprieve from the military parades, at least, though your wedding festivities would involve enough marching retinues that it might as well be one anyway. In the week leading up to the wedding alone, you had attended so many events you were certain your face was burned into holo-vid players across the galaxy. You had quickly become a symbol to the people of the Imperium, the normal citizen granted such an extraordinary honor, to wed a Primarch. It was like a fairy tale. You were becoming an excellent propaganda piece, despite Roboute's efforts to keep you out of the public eye as much as possible.

You tried not to think about how many people would be watching you get married. At least Roboute would be there. You were sleeping separately until tomorrow, of course. The prospect of tomorrow night had you blushing with excitement and shaking with dread all at once. You tried not to think about it.

You climbed into bed, sleep slowly coming to claim you. Tomorrow your life would end and start again.

You could only hope you made the right choice.

A wing over, Guilliman stared into his fireplace. Haunted by thoughts of you, and tomorrow, and tomorrow night. He was beyond pleased that you had accepted, he had worried when you hesitated he would be forced to use... Coercion. But there was no need, and your blooming relationship continues unimpeded. He just had to keep you close.

He relaxed on his massive bed, preparing to sleep. Despite his size, he couldn't fill it. Soon, it would never be lonely again.

(once again, no proof reading because that's work. I just shit this into your asks lol sorry)

#wh40crack.#you're doing the Emperor's work anon!#warhammer 40k #primarch x reader #yandere!primarch x reader #roboute guilliman

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soyforramen · 8 days

Text

Apologies, my brain has latched onto a new fandom and just. Cannot process until I vomit this out. So buckle up babes, it's a long one. All apologies in advance.

Complete change of timelines where Madam Yu is the one to find Wei Wuxian, or rather her maids do. They're sent out to Yiling for like... cultivation things, night hunt, secret assassinations, or whatever. They find him very soon after his parents die, early enough that he's just barely on the streets for a few months. Jinzhu and Yinzhu hear about the death of a cultivator who trained under Baoshen Sanren and that her child was recently kicked out, such a shame, but who can feed any more mouths the winter after a bad harvest?

So Jinzhu slips out, finds the kid and they abscond back to Lotus Pier. As they show up they're like, wait out here kid, we've got work to do. And as he's waiting, Jiang Yanli comes up with tea for her mother and is like ??? And Wei Ying imprints on her the moment she gives him a few biscuits and tells him she makes him laugh. So when she goes into the room, Wei Ying follows her in and Jinzhu and Yinzhu are like.

Oh. Right. We found this kid and his mom is supposed to be that lady you really didn't like back in the day, what do you want us to do with him? And Madam Yu at first is like,

But then she sees how starry eyed he is over Jiang Yanli and Madame Yu has a light bulb moment of seeing him waiting for Jiang Yanli to tell him what to do and is like. Wait. And looks betwen Jinzhu and Yinzhu and is like. Wait.

She tells them she's going to adopt him and immediately goes and gets that done. When Jiang Fengmian finds out she tells him to go find his own orphan and just shuffles Wei Ying over to stay with Jinzhu and Yinzhu. (It's not like he's stopped her before, and it's not like he can now. Besides, she found him first. Don't you have a sect to run?)

So now Wei Wuxian is going to be raised alongside Jiang Yanli rather than Jiang Cheng. The twins start to train him and raise him, and eventually he tries calling Jinzhu Mom and Yinzhu Auntie in public and they're both like.

Don't call me that. We are not related. But inside they're all.

It doesn't help that he's quick to learn and sweet, and they're quick to praise him and correct him in an age appropriate way even though they're still really strict and seemingly cold to him. (Wei Wuxian had to get it from somewhere is all I'm saying.) But also they make sure he's fed and clothed and has proper training and an education.

It's constantly impressed upon him that Jiang Yanli is his sister and that he needs to protect her and she'll take care of him in return. Madam Yu especially does her best to make sure they bond, because if her daughter is to marry into Jinlintai, she's damn sure going to have more protection than just a coterie of maids and random Jiang disciples. Especially since it's becoming clear to everyone that there's something wrong with Jiang Yanli's overall health, and there's some chronic pain and fatigue that hits her every so often. So if she had someone who knew her best and could take care of her throughout her life...

Since Wei Wuxian is only five and Jiang Yanli is only a few years older than him it will be similar to how the Meishan Yu heirs are raised alongside their own bodyguards. (I have this image that the Meishan Yu Clan is like a snake, in that they move quietly and lurk in the shadows until they strike, which would also explain a lot as to why Madame Yu is called the Purple Spider.)

As he grows up, Wei Wuxian is still an absolute chaos demon, only this time the first time he tries pranking anyone and he's caught, the twins make him do twice the amount of training and subtly imply that the reason he's being punished is not the fact that he's being silly with harmless pranks, but the fact that he got caught at all.

So they train him in the Meishan Yu way, which is far more covert and focused on getting in quick and dealing with things, and in the Jiang swordplay, which is focused on speed and agility. Meaning he's good with a sword, much better than good, but he's not at the same level as he is in MDZS OG. But he's also got an extensive collection of daggers, stilettos, hidden talismans, and fighting dirty and shamelessly.

Jiang Cheng is jealous that Jiang Yanli now has another brother, and that Wei Ying is monopolizing Jiang Yanli, but both his father and his mother are focused on his training and education in becoming a sect leader, and Madam Yu isn't constantly comparing the two since they're not 'competing' against each other like she seemed to think in cannon. Instead when Jiang Cheng gets too frustrated about not figuring something out or is too hard on himself, Madam Yu throws Wei Wuxian at him to train with.

As they get a bit older, Wei Wuxian is like, but is jiejie learning all this? And Jinzhu has to tell him that no, she's got a small core, besides she has you. Wei Wuxian thinks that's stupid, and says so loudly, so he goes to teach her at least the basics so she can defend herself with hidden daggers, terrifying hair pins, and talismans at the very least.

It's at that point that they realize how adapt he is with talismans, so they make the decision to send both him and Jiang Yanli off to Meishan Yu for him to train with their masters. Jiang Yanli meanwhile is sent to her grandparents and aunts to learn more about political manipulation training, management of sects, trade, logistics, etc.

It's at this point that they get the invitation to Gusu, and Madam Yu insists both her kids go. Which also means Wei Wuxian, professional rule breaker, also goes along with them. During the day he's as perfect as Jinzhu and Yinzhu could ever dream, but he immediately breaks curfew the first night because a) Emperor's Smile, and b) jiejie's in pain again, and the medicines they were sent with weren't working right, and jiejie's dorm mate said that these herbs from Caiyi could help...

Anyways, Lan Wangji is totally able to win against Wei Wuxian in strength, and breaks one of his wine jars again, but since Wei Wuxian was always told to make sure to never get caught, at least this time he had a mask on. So technically Lan Wangji can't say for 100% certain who it was who broke curfew. (Discretion, always, might have been tattooed on his forehead by Yinzhu.)

But like. Lan Wangji is like. Bro. My man. Dude.

Thus beginning his utter fascination with Wei Wuxian because of course the Head of Discipline can't let any infraction go, cause denial (whomp whomp).

Wei Wuxian is thrilled to get such a response out of someone so poised and stoic, especially since he's never been able to do that with his mom or aunt or even Madam Yu. Jiang Yanli thinks it's absolutely hilarious, immediately pegging Wei Wuxian's interest as a crush, and when Wei Wuxian dismisses that, she has to be like

Sir. I know you. I helped raise you. This is a crush. So she's super encouraging that they spend time together, and shows her true colors as an instigator when it comes to her didi. But Wei Wuxian pushes back since they won't be there long enough to form any real long term attachments.

(Actual video of Wei Wuxian during this conversation)

Anyways, Gusu Arc is similar to last time, only Wei Wuxian isn't technically a student, but he does sit in on the classes and surpringly draws 0 attention to himself, making Lan Wangji's suspicion of him even more suspicious to Lan Xichen.

This time, Jin Zixuan isn't punched. Jiang Yanli gives him a cold bow and walks away, but that night Wei Wuxian definitely makes sure that Jin Zixuan knows that that wasn't cool, cause like. It's Jiang Yanli, she's the best why wouldn't you think that? Wtf sir, why would you say anything like that? And oops, look how sharp this dagger is, and oops my talisman slipped. Again.

Needless to say, the next day Jin Zixuan has a healthy respect for staying far away from Jiang Yanli or even thinking about her, and if he doesn't even look Wei Wuxian's way? Well, no surprise there.

MianMian is totally Wei Wuxian's BFF now, though, since she's never seen anyone be able to handle Jin Zixuan so well, and that includes his mother. Lan Wangji is, obviously, jealous, Jiang Yanli continues to instigate meetings between them, and the day of the Waterborne Abyss Wei Wuxian is finally like.

Oh. That's what Jiang Yanli meant about Lan Zhan. And Wei Wuxian is just like,

This leads to further shenanigans between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian to the point that even Lan Qiren is like. Lan Wangji, just ignore him. We have three weeks left, it's fine. But Lan Wangji is like, he gave me rabbits? But also broke 82 rules in less than 10 minutes? And also he's annoying? But why is he paying more attention to Luo Qingyang?

Anyways, they finally go home, Cloud Recess is attacked, and the Wens are like. Time for the worst summer camp ever! Jiang Yanli begs Wei Wuxian to go to the Wen Camp with Jiang Cheng to keep an eye on him. Wei Wuxian refuses until Jinzhu steps in and uses her mom voice, telling him in no uncertain terms he's going, and Jiang Yanli will be in Meishan, as far from the Wens as she can be right now.

Turtle Time! All of the disciples are essentially going:

the entire time they're there. The arc goes basically the same, only more Wangxian cuddling, teasing, and Wei Wuxian being a shameless flirt to Lan Wangji's horror.

Jinzhu and Yinzhu travel back with Jiang Cheng to save Lan Wangi and Wei Wuxian, and for the first time Jinzhu and Yinzhu show in public that the familial connection with Wei Wuxian goes both ways. The twins insist Lan Wangji stays until he's healed because they owe him a debt for saving Wei Wuxian, but mostly because they're nosy as shit about him. Wei Wuxian would not stop talking about him in his letters and when he returned, so they're like who is this?

Then they meet him, and are all. Ah. Fellow Introvert. Amazing.

We will still kill you if you do anything to our surrogate child/nephew.

Lan Wangji is like. Fair. But also what are you talking about I totally didn't write him a romantic song or anything.

Things tighten down all over the cultivation world after that, and Wei Wuxian is sent to Meishan Yu where Jiang Yanli is, and they miss out on the Lotus Pier attacks. When they get news of what happened, Jiang Yanli has to keep Wei Wuxian from immediately going back, since they both know that if Lotus Pier burned then their parents died defending it. A few days later, Jiang Cheng shows up, along with a badly hurt Jinzhu. Madame Yu forced Jinzhu to go with him since she knew Jiang Cheng would immediately be like. Nope, gonna go back to Lotus Pier to my death the minute Zidian released him.

Both of them are going through major surivor's guilt, but Jiang Cheng sneaks off to get his parent's bodies at the very least, and Jiang Yanli sends Wei Wuxian to chase him down. When they get there, Wen Ning finds them and shows them where the bodies have been moved to.

(Wei Wuxian sees his aunts body and has a major trauma moment, realizing that he's lost what basically amounted to his second mother, and almost lost his first. He decides he's not going to lose either Jinzhu or Jiang Yanli, and he'll do his best to keep Jiang Cheng around either.)

Basically it's the same progression, only this time Wei Wuxian's loyalty isn't to Jiang Cheng, but to Jiang Yanli, so he drags him back to Meishan. There, Jiang Yanli begs for something to be done to help her brother, but the healers are all at a loss.

Jinzhu, meanwhile, only wants to get revenge even though she's still really weak from the attack. All she wants to do is go on a suicidal mission to take out the Wens and Wei Wuxian is Not Having That. He refuses to let her go alone, and Jiang Yanli refuse to let Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng out of her sight. She knows Wei Wuxian would definitely sacrifice himself for Jinzhu, but he's her brother. They're far close than Jiang Cheng because they spent almost every waking moment together due to the circumstances, and by their own choice.

Jiang Yanli starts openly calling Jinzhu her aunt, putting her on the same level as her mother's sisters, and Wei Wuxian calls her mother in public, even though she fights it at first.

Eventually it becomes obvious that neither Jiang Cheng nor Jinzhu are getting better, so Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian decide to seek out Wen Qing, who had grown close to Jiang Yanli when they were at Gusu, and ask for her help. They come up with a plan where Wen Qing and Wen Ning are 'captured' by the remaining Jiang disciples, and brought back to Meishan.

There, Jiang Yanli finds out about Wen Qing's research into golden cores, and begs Wen Qing to transfer Jiang Yanli's to Jiang Cheng. After all, she's never been able to do anything to it due to her illness, and even as weak as it is it's still enough for him to cultivate.

Jinzhu is still trying to sneak out, and Wen Qing finally sits her down and tells her she still has a family, even though her sister and mistress are gone. The best thing Jinzhu can do now is to watch over Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli and her own child rather than trying to stay in the past. Jinzhu is not happy about this, but Wen Ning speaks up and says that since Jinzhu helped raise them, if Jinzhu left it would be like losing another parent all over again.

This, and Wen Qing's locking down of her core, make Jinzhu calm down and think long term rather than emotionally. Once Jiang Cheng, Jiang Yanli, and Jinzhu are healed enough, Wen Qing and Wen Ning are 'released' and go back to the Wens.

The Sunshot Campaign progresses in much the same way, only Jinzhu and Wei Wuxian work together to gather intelligence, while Jiang Yanli works closer with the sects in strategy and logistics behind the scenes. Jiang Cheng is still an angry butterball at this point, but Wei Wuxian isn't doing demonic cultivation, which creates problems, but they somehow manage to struggle through.

Jiang Yanli works to make sure the Dafan Wen get 'captured' very early in the campaign who have to look at the rest of the sects and be like. Y'all. They hate Wen Ruohan just as much as us. But also.

Free Healthcare.

In a war.

(NMJ is still against it, but he's overruled by literally everyone else.)

When Lan Wangji is away from the camp, Jiang Yanli and Jinzhu are both like, no, no moping Wei Wuxian. And they throw a bunch of paper at him and tell him to go do something useful. He ends up making new talismans that help with the war effort, and some that just make life easier, and hands them out to as many people as he can.

Once the Dafan Wen reach them, Wei Wuxian, once again, latches onto the orphaned A-Yuan. Jinzhu takes one look at them and immediately thinks,

and sets off to try and figure out how to adopt a grandchild. Lan Wangji is just thinking 'Yes. Perfect Husband Material' when he sees Wei Wuxian with A-Yuan.

Jiang Yanli has to be the one with the brain cell, pointing out to Wei Wuxian that he cannot adopt a child during a war. And especially not if he's still single. Seeing how Lan Wangji is looking at Wei Wuxian, Jiang Yanli seeks out Lan Xichen and tells him, this is what we're doing. Don't ask any questions. But your brother is going to marry my brother, so make sure neither of them die. Thanks.

Once they get close enough to Nightless City through the strength and power of Nie Mingjue's mustache and (insert epic war arc here), Jinzhu and Wei Wuxian sneak into Wen Ruohan's palace, and Lan Wangji invites himself along for Reasons.

When they share the logistics they've found out (time tables, the fact that Wen Ruohan is having health issues, the lack of cultivators within the walls of the city) with the rest of the war council, Wen Qing (invited there by Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng, specifically), points out to the rest of them that the medicine's Wen Ruohan takes are healthy in small doses but are also. Hella Poisonous.

And the rest of them are like, ok? Cool? But what does that have to do with us?

And Wen Qing just looks at them. You captured me, babes.

So Wen Qing 'escapes' back to Nightless city and because she looks absolutely awful (again, she knows what herbs and medicines to take to make her look tortured and miserable), and Wen Ruohan sees her and is like, my niece! You have returned to me, even though I no longer have your family to blackmail you! You do like me!

And she's like, yes, of course I do. I also brought the Jiang Sect Leader with me, and you could totally lock him up in the dungeons, or you could just. Let me keep him and experiment on him, that would be awesome?

And Wen Ruohan is like,

(Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng is the one sending information back to the Sunshot Campaign through lights in the window at night.)

Anyways, Wen Qing ends up being Wen Ruohan's doctor, again, while the fighting goes on outside, and rumors start to go around about one or three spies being inside Nightless City. Wen Qing says that they've got to rout the spies out or we'll lose this war.

Meanwhile, Meng Yao is just

Paranoia grows rampant as Jiang Cheng uses Wei Wuxian's talismans to make it seem like the spies' activities are increasing until Wen Ruohan only lets Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao supervise and bring him his meals. So its a THING when he ends up bedbound with a poison that only Wen Qing can treat him for. And since Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao were the only two who could have tampered with his food, and Wen Qing is above reproach being the prodigal son doctor (and the spying and the evidence of it was going on before she got there), Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao are executed.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch Sunshot Campaign:

Jin Zixuan is still being stupid about Jiang Yanli, and he lets the same woman take all the credit for Jiang Yanli's food, and he confronts her when she tells him that no, that's from me. And Jiang Yanli just bursts into angry stress tears - but no one other than her knows that - and Wei Wuxian snaps. Jiang Yanli takes him down before he can get to Jin Zixuan, though, quicker than anyone but Hanguang-Jun has been able to.

(Jinzhu pointed out all his weaknesses to Jiang Yanli long ago, and Jiang Yanli Does Not Hesitate.)

And everyone else is just looking at her like, wtf? Then Jiang Yanli proceeds to dress Lan Zixuan down and his only thought is

Nie Mingjue continues to be a bear of a warrior and wins skirmishes and takes out Wen Xu. At this point Jiang Guangshan is looking at it and being like, ah yes. I help. Here's two more cultivators. And generally continuing to be The Worst.

Jin Zixuan and his contingent of MianMian and other cultivators collectively roll their eyes.

But Nie Mingjue's story is a completely different story with grand, overarcing themes of brotherhood, trauma, war and glory, and family trauma, but that is not what we're on about today folks.

Flash back to Nightless City where Wen Ruohan is losing his shit and Wen Qing keeps on gaslighting him, because she is a chaos demon on the same level as Wei Wuxian when given a chance. Wen Ruohan decides he can only trust like, two people besides Wen Qing, and the rest of his sect is just waiting for him to show any weakness.

Wen Qing very gently tells him that he hasn't been sleeping well, that's why he's so paranoid, and makes him some very strong sleeping droughts. She warns him not to take too much all at once, though, because when taken in large doses it's deadly. Only he doesn't realize that not only does it have a strong depressants in it, it's also full of stimulants that don't let him fall asleep.

After only a few days, Wen Ruohan is hella hallucinating and it gets to the point where his liver just. Fucks off. and he dies brutally. And since he's executed all of his remaining line, Wen Qing is the next in line for sect leader.

Immediately her first decree is that the Wens are surrendering and she throws open the doors to Nightless City and orders the remaining Wen soldiers to stand down. Jiang Chang comes out and is like, can I go home now? And Wen Qing is like,

The Jin are still like, the Wen have to pay we lost sooo much to them, wah wah wah, but this time even Jin Zixuan is like Bro-Dad. Chill.And Jin Guangshan kind of has to since he isn't able to claim Jiggy's killing of Wen Ruohan this time around.

So everyone fucks off to rebuild their sects; Jiang Cheng works on his 'new' core; and Jiang Yanli works to rebuild the sect, forcing Wei Wuxian to do a lot of the work because she's tired, man.

Eventually, Lan Xichen gets tired of Lan Wangji moping about and sends him to Lotus Pier under the guise of intersect relations, along with a letter outlining a marriage proposal because at this point even Lan Qiren just wants to marry Lan Wangji off to put him out of his misery.

Side Story: Wei Wuxian absconds with the rest of the Dafan Wen who have all looked at Nightless City and been like, nah. I'm good. And Wen Qing is like. Same. Especially since

So the Wen are disbanded as a sect officially as a condition of surrenduring (and she didn't want to lead the remaining Wen soldiers, they super suck).

Instead she goes to Nie Mingjue, since the Nie's were the only sect who didn't have majorly damaged land during the war, and Nie Huaisang and her got on famously, and rolls up like, Yo. NMJ. I want to build a medical pavilion, and he's like. No.

And NHS is like. Bro. Please, let me handle this. Wen Qing here's a nice spot just outside our home, and here's some money to train medics and learn about our terrifying cultivation methods, thanks.

Side Story Time!

Wen Qing and Nie Mingjue end up in a hate/fuck relationship, playing a long game of chicken until they end up married. Wen Qing is able to cut back on the resentful energy of the Nie Cultivation methods through a combination of Wen medicine and Lan musical cultivation to extend his life in a 'You can't die yet, I need more funding,' sort of way, and Nie Mingjue agrees to her methods because 'I'm still suspicious of you."

Everyone else is like, please use better silencing talismans Sect Leader we are begging you.

Nie Huaisang is currently commissioning three seperate plays dedicated to Wen Qing Alone.

Back at the plotline: The Phoenix Mountain Hunt still goes on as planned; Wei Wuxian still throws a flower at Lan Wangji; only this time he spends the entire opening ceremony at Jiang Yanli's side, who is there more in an official pseudo-sect leader capacity rather than at Madam Jin's invitation.

Madam Jin is still like, My son's a dick, yes, but marraige maybe?

Wei Wuxian snarks at this underneath his breath, and Jinzhu discreetly stabs him with a hair pin and reminds him to behave. Jiang Yanli tells Madam Jin that the Jiang Sect is willing to honor the marriage if the Jin are since their sects are so close, but only on the condition that Jin Zixuan is the one wanting to enter the marriage. Otherwise, if he is still against it, they should dissolve the marriage since the Jiang's have already taken so much insult from him personally.

Before Madam Jin can protest too much, Jiang Yanli steers the conversation with the other sect leaders around them to matters of trade, adeptly putting to use the more intensive training of a sect she received at Meishan to use.

A few hours into the hunt, Wei Wuxian gets fidgety, and Jinzhu chases him off to check on Jiang Cheng to keep him out of trouble. On the way, he 'finds' Lan Wangji and at some point in their walk, Lan Wangji looks as if he wants to confess something, but they're interrupted by Jin Zixun's appearance, along with Su She and a few other reprobates.

Wei Wuxian manages to be polite enough, and waits until he and Lan Wangji are walking off to slip a few talismans Jin Zixun's way so he can't reasonably be blamed. Su She, ever the sycophant, still blames him, claiming that he saw Wei Wuxian do it. And Lan Wangji is like, I was right right next to Wei Ying and I saw nothing.

Jin Zixuan stumbles upon them, along with Jiang Yanli, presumably on a walk together, with Madam Jin and Jinzhu behind them. Jin Zixun whines about it to his cousin until Lan Wangji pushes him for proof of a talisman. Surely there would have been a paper or ashes or something left to prove that there was ever a talisman to begin with.

(Knowing full well Wei Wuxian has come up with a talisman that leaves no trace.)

When Jin Zixun turns to Jinzhu, thinking that surely one of Madam Yu's maids knows just what Wei Wuxian gets up to, she just turns to face him and stares, letting the numerous scars on her face scare him off of it.

As they return to the pavilion, they all have to watch as Jin Zixuan is awkward and weird around Jiang Yanli, and Wei Wuxian can't help but make faces about it. Jiang Yanli catches him and points out, to his utter embarassment, that he's worse around Lan Wangji, and since she's had to deal with it for the last ten years, he can deal with it for one hour.

That's more than enough to keep him quiet until the banquet that night, though it doesn't help to keep Lan Wangji from looking too smug about it.

#mdzs #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #i just...cannot get this idea out of my head #and like...i'm sure there's an au like this somewhere....my brain is just...do it #and i can't #so like #there's that #don't take this that seriously it's just supposed to be fun #also tumblr's gif search function is now awful? when did that happen?#is it finished? mostly #but considering i doubt anyone will read this here it is #go finish your outline brain we have a test this week

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roanfusions · 21 days

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Faolan took a deep breath. It had been.. a while. Since he'd seen the memorial room. Here where crushed crystals resided in the only graveyard theyd made. Crystals couldn't be left partially broken- once irreparable they had to be killed completely lest they turn into an Antirnity or into Corruption. Vermin was truly the best to show for what having a cracked crystal was like.

He walked down the hall where names and urns are placed in the room, each covered in the flowers and gifts of mourning. Finally, he finds what he was looking for. Vahlia..

He sighed, quietly as he sat down. There was talk of stopping the ship. Letting it dissipate. Faolan figured he'd stay in the damn thing until the last second - he'd already gone to war for never leaving. He pulled out the flask, swirling the liquid to get a sense of how much was in it. Nowadays he always operated with a slight buzz - it kept things down sensory-wise.

There were probably ways that he could keep em down that wasn't whatever weak shit humans call alcohol, but he preferred this. The self destruction... it called to him. He looked up at the words on the memorial and skimmed them. There was no urn.

Vahlia's corpse was in him. He felt it everyday. Like a second skin. He reached over to trace the words on the plaque with his finger. He'd read them a hundred times. They were to blurry right now to read - tears, he thinks. He hadn't had enough to drink for it to be that.

In fact, the buzz was starting to fade. There was the low hum of every mechanic in the ship and a dull ache as every code interlayed into the very universe started to drill into his skull. Sure, he was able to filter it out in battle - it was easier with a crystal in him and a sturdy fear of death. But now, in the peace of the end of a war, it buried holes into his mind.

He knew the price to editting himself was something like this. Its not like fundamentally rewriting yourself to fuse with a crystal. It made him more susceptible to the code, now, made him a little sponge. It was his greatest hatred that he can no longer live just being able to read it. No, now it flowed through him unnaturally and made its manipulation so much harder. Worse off, he still didn't know how to bring back dead crystals.

He doubted he'd ever know. Nevertheless, his buzz was fading. So he tips the flask back and drinks the rest of it. Feels a familiar burn down his throat.

Right. He came to talk to her. Even though her corpse was in him. A mirror would be more appropriate. But the grave would do.

"Hey Vahl," He says quietly, resting his head on the marble slab. "I really miss ya. Theyre talking about ending the ship. Makes sense. The wars over. I think if they do, though, I have to decide if I'm going back to Vhext."

There was a long silence. The truth was he knew from the beginning he would probably never return home, its what made the homesick so thick. He had always been othered. The odd child who could speak in sentences from way to early, whos mischeif was always a little to clever for his age. The way he learned every academic he could so quickly they ran out of education they could provide. How he would've been the "perfect" Alpha- to perfect. He was uncanny on Vhext. His father knew he was a freak. And though he never said it aloud, it was unspoken.

Faolan never fit in. His mama tried so hard to get him to, but the weird kid was always the weird kid, no matter how skilled. Thats all Faolan was at home. The other.

So he left. He told himself it was temporary. It was supposed to be temporary. To show that he could bring back something of worth from a different planet.

But he didn't go to a different planet.

And now, one war later, he is even more of a freak then before. Returning to Vhext was a far off dream; a fantasy where he could go back to familiar lands and smells and sights and family. And it was probably going to stay that way. He was to... not-Vhext now. To other.

"I don't know if I can go back. What'll they think of me, you know? Most of em have only known war in fairytales. Territory disputes were nothing like what we saw. Even when hunts go wrong theres.. theres an understanding to it. Death wasn't even... the worst. If you died on Vhext soil, you returned to Vhext. No ones seen war. I wake up screaming so often. I shake when something reminds me of it. How do I... how do I explain. I was already different before. Its so much worse now."

His eyes were fighting to stay open as he sipped the last few drops of alcohol. "I'll probably just stay on this ship. I don't think... I don't think I can go home anymore."

#faolan #faolan vheki

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stuffkin · 1 year

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samuel oak is an idiot who learns to help his grandson

ao3!

To say the Oak family is functional is the farthest thing from the truth, no matter what appearances say. Ever since Samuel’s son and daughter-in-law had passed in that unfortunate accident, leaving him the sole guardian of their children, things had gotten…twisted. Fragmented. Infected.

Now, don’t get him wrong. He loves his grandchildren. He’d like to think they love him. They were two lights in the face of tragedy, and he’d attempted to be the same in return.

Somewhere along the line, though, the wick had frayed. The flame had flickered. Gone out.

Maybe it was his research. It had been at a high point when the accident happened, and even he in all his pride can admit he’d dove into it with a greater fervor just to cope.

Maybe it was the pressure. Daisy, bright and intelligent, destined to follow in his line of work. Blue, brash and quick-witted, doomed to inherit his pride and grief. He’d been too hard on both of them.

Whatever the cause, he feels the distinct lack of warmth when he walks in on something he isn’t supposed to see.

“Grandpa,” Daisy says. Cool, calm, collected. “Please leave.”

Done and done. Samuel stammers an apology before hurriedly backing out of his own house. But the image is burned into his brain. Daisy, tucked up neatly into the corner of the L-shaped sofa. She wasn’t alone. Oh, no. Blue is currently curled in her arms, dressed in a soft green sweater and flannel sleep pants in spite of it being early afternoon. Clipped to the collar is a simple pacifier, and when Samuel had walked in, it looked like Daisy had been feeding her brother a bottle.

No, that was definitely what was happening.

As confusing and unexpected as the scene was to find, that’s not what bothers Samuel the most. That would be the sheer terror on Blue’s face when he’d seen his grandfather.

Samuel’s come to realize his mistakes in the time following Blue’s brief stint at championship. But to be feared… To say it leaves a sour taste in his mouth would be an understatement.

Daisy finds him later, at the lab. Samuel receives a rather stern lecture, both educational and confusing, both stern and gentle. Just like her mother, really. “Don’t screw this up,” she says before she leaves again. Right. He’d failed his responsibility before. He doesn’t think he’ll get a third chance.

Weeks pass before the topic comes up again, the regression. At first, Blue had done everything in his power to avoid his grandfather. And Samuel, of course, much to Daisy’s chagrin, didn’t do much more than tell Blue to do as he needed. There’s not much else he really can do, given how skittish the boy is around the topic. How would he even begin?

Then the day to find out rolls along. A stormy evening had swept through the area, bringing with it a percussion of rain and a melancholy wailing of wind. When Samuel leaves the lab early–having secured all the Pokemon in their pens and barns, of course–the waves on the southern shore of Pallet Town are ramming into the small beach with a vengeance. A proper storm, this.

The house is eerily silent as he enters, and even he in his old age and experience can’t stop the shiver from rolling down his spine. “I’m home,” he calls out into the dark house. Nothing. Then he remembers that Daisy is to spend the weekend in Cerulean with Bill. She must have already left.

But that begs the question: where is Blue?

It’s very possible that the boy is still in Viridian. As hard a worker as his grandfather and sister, it’s not uncommon for him to remain at the gym late into the night. And if he isn’t there, he’s conducting his own field research. Samuel severely hopes that the latter isn’t the case.

Something clatters upstairs, nearly sending Samuel jumping out of his skin. Okay, Blue’s home, then. That’s good. But something about the silence leaves room for nothing but wrong.

“Blue?” Samuel calls, padding to the stairwell. “Are you up there?”

Silence at first, but then a door creaks open and a spiky head peers over the railing. “Yeah.”

The answer itself gives nothing away, but Samuel is nothing if not observant, when he wants to be. The stylishly messy hair seems more genuinely so, and thin fingers grip the railing like it’s the only thing keeping Blue upright. Samuel searches Blue’s face next. Averted eyes. Dark circles. Chapped, chewed lips. Even as Samuel watches, Blue’s lower lip is tucked between his teeth.

He has an idea what’s going on. Unruly weather always had frightened him as a child. “Some storm, hm?” Slow, Samuel starts up the stairs, wincing as an old, dull ache in his knee makes its presence known. Blue doesn’t move, instead simply watching with wary eyes the closer his grandfather gets. Finally, once he’s up the stairs, Samuel lightly tousles Blue’s hair. Just like he’d done when the boy was scarcely knee-high.

Blue still doesn’t say anything, but he exhales quietly, as though he’d been holding his breath. His eyes slip closed for just a moment. A peaceful interim until the next roll of thunder jabs out a sharp gasp.

“Easy, kiddo,” Samuel murmurs. “Come here.” Without waiting, he tugs Blue into a hug. It’s a bit awkward, given that Blue’s a good bit taller than him now, but really it’s the years between them that make it so difficult. When was the last time he’d hugged his grandchild? The question only encourages Samuel to hold him that much tighter.

More importantly, Blue doesn’t push him away. He sinks into the hug with a keening whine, and while Samuel can no longer see his face, he’d place money on the boy being near tears. “There, there. Gramps has got you.” As they stand there, locked in place, years and years of indifference and stunted connections start to unwind, just a bit. It’s not a fix-all, but it’s a start.

And for starters, they can’t stay put. Reluctantly, Samuel eases back. His heart cracks when Blue whines again and clings a little tighter. “I’m not going anywhere, bubba.” To prove it, he slowly peels Blue’s fingers free and clasps his hand between both of his. “I’m right here. But maybe we go somewhere a bit cozier than this drafty old stairwell, hm?”

Miraculously, a ghost of a smile creeps up on Blue’s face. “Okay.” His voice is higher, softer than what Samuel is accustomed to, but he supposes that comes with the territory. So does guidance, apparently; neither of them move from their spot. In fact, it seems like Blue is simply waiting.

Well, if there’s something Samuel’s good at, it’s being bossy. Or so he’s been told. “Why don’t we go downstairs, get cozy in the armchair? In a while I can cook us up some dinner.”

“Okay.” And yet Blue still doesn’t move except to flinch and cup his ear when thunder cracks once more.

It isn’t until he bites his lip that Samuel thinks he knows what’s going on. “Go get your pacifier, bub,” he says gently. “And whatever else you need.”

Embarrassment floods Blue’s face, but so does relief. Nodding, he ducks back into his room. When he returns, in his arms are a small plastic case, an Eevee plush, and a faded blanket Samuel recognizes from Blue’s infancy. On his heels is his actual Eevee, who barks a greeting to Samuel.

He bends down as far as he’s able to scratch behind her ears. “Hey there, girl.” Looking to Blue, he smiles softly. “Let’s go, shall we?”

The trip downstairs isn’t nearly as laborious as the trip upstairs, thankfully, and soon they’re all settled in the armchair. Blue had been reluctant to sit in his lap at first, but Samuel had simply scoffed. “My bones aren’t that old.” Now, Samuel carefully tucks the baby blanket around his grandson’s shoulders, and both Eevees are, of course, curled against the boy’s chest. Belatedly, Samuel thinks maybe he should have grabbed a properly sized blanket.

But Blue is already going boneless in his arms, tensing again only with the weather outside. Samuel hushes him and pries the case out of his hands. In it is the pacifier he’d seen before, and a Pokeball-patterned clip. “How cute,” he says, flicking the case open with his thumb. He clips the strap to Green’s t-shirt first. Then he offers the pacifier itself.

Blue doesn’t take it right away. Nerves, Samuel thinks. But a quiet chirp and nudge from Eevee has Blue nursing it in no time, and finally, the rest of the edge is taken off. It’s not much longer before Blue’s head dips onto his grandfather’s shoulder.

“There’s my boy,” Samuel murmurs before pressing a kiss to his hair.

The Oak family is far from functional. But maybe they’ll be okay after all.

#stuff writes #agere #sfw agere #pokemon agere #regressuary #fandom agere

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oftatteredwings · 10 months

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⸻ KIT HARINGTON. HE/HIM / have you ever heard of BETWEEN THE BARS by elliot smith, well, it describes JONAH MATTHEWS to a tee! the thirty-five year old, and GENERAL PRACTITIONER was spotted browsing through the stalls at portobello road market last sunday, do you know them? would you say HE is more flighty or more COMPASSIONATE instead? anyway, they remind me of a room full of piles of old books, hikes at sunrise, whiskey poured from a crystal decanter, the smell of rain of fallen leaves and comfy flannel shirts, maybe you’ll bump into them soon!

time in notting hill ; 5 years.

tw: car crash, child death, death, depression, alcoholism

Name: Jonah Matthews Nicknames: Jo, Jones Age: Thirty-five Date of Birth: 3rd May 1988 Birthplace: Oxford, UK Length of time in Notting Hill: 5 years Occupation: General Practitioner Romantic/sexual orientation: Biromantic/bisexual Positive traits: Determined, clever, compassionate Negative traits: Obsessive, flighty, volatile

Jonah was born in Oxford and pretty much lived an idyllic life as a youngster —- if you didn’t think about the fact he and his sisters were raised by nanny’s alone anyway, their parents only around on weekends if there was somewhere they needed to be seen.

He was known for temper tantrums as a child and that seemed to follow him into his teens, although it was more of a violent mood swing by then. Emotions always seemed to come out in an explosion for him.

A bright child, he moved up a year in school ( a highly irregular occurrence these days ), something that certainly brought on one of those tantrums. It didn’t work in his favour on this particular occasion.

At seventeen he received early acceptance to Harvard to study medicine and wasted absolutely no time in accepting the offer.

The move took him from his family and to another country, but he was quickly distracted, throwing himself into a new life. Hiking became a prominent part of it and that’s eventually where he would meet the would be mother of his child.

Luke was born two years after they met. A bundle of pure joy and happiness. Jonah was completely besotted and also completely in love with his work. He decided then to put everything into it, choosing to continue his education and specialise in surgery, wanting to go as far as he possibly could.

They created a life for themselves, moving to Chestnut Hill where he worked on renovating their house in his spare time (what little of it he had).

When Luke turned five, however, there was an accident. Mother and son involved in a car cash that would become fatal. Their son passed away in the back of the ambulance.

Within twelve hours Jonah had been back at the hospital demanding a change of department. He threw himself into work, ignored everyone's warnings and switched himself off from everything. Working as a paramedic was supposed to make him feel better, stop him from blaming himself for what had happened.

It didn’t turn out that way. In fact, eighteen months later it led to a complete break down. For the first time since the accident he began to cry... and he couldn’t stop. The following morning he left his girlfriend ( brutally told her they had nothing in common anymore other than a grave ), left his job, and then jumped on a flight back to the UK and back to his family.

Six months later he arrived in London (somewhere his little sister had relocated to) and that’s where he’s been ever since. He spent some time retraining and then picked up a job at a local private GP practise, something he has since found extremely rewarding.

His mental health is still a struggle, especially so when the anniversary of Luke’s death rolls around each year, but he’s made a new life for himself in London and has no plans to go back to the States.

HEADCANONS.

Despite the breakdown of his relationship with Luke’s mother, Jonah still has a passion for hiking and will often spend his weekends in the Peak District and Lake District making his way around the trails in the early hours of the morning, basking in the golden glow of sunrise.

Most would think because he grew up wanting for nothing, that he would spend his money like it was going out of fashion, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Since his move to Massachusetts at 18 he started putting money away, always saving for a rainy day, refusing to spend a lot unless it was absolutely necessary. He’s yet to find that rainy day, but is always looking.

He is a major bookworm, he has an entire room in his apartment filled with books, wall to wall, like his own personal library. If he’s not out at work or hiking, he will usually be found there, glasses resting at the end of his nose, engrossed.

Paul is very much a closet alcoholic, something he is attending meetings for in secret. It’s one thing he’s never wanted people to know about. It’s also one of the reasons he’s never been able to go back on his path to becoming a surgeon.

#✧ jonah ( about )#nottinghillintro #car crash tw #child death tw #death tw #depression tw #alcoholism tw

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upsidedownism · 2 years

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[ fah yongwaree | cis-woman | she/her | twenty-six ] —— it’s just another typical week in hawkins i guess — isn’t that right, taeng chaisai? huh, guess they can’t hear me over heart of glass by blondie playing on their walkman, but it looks like they’re unemployed. did you know tae has been in hawkins for her whole life? yeah, they’ve been described as a bit egocentric, but i suppose them also being disciplined outweighs the negative. i’ve also heard people say they remind them of soccer field in the early mornings and feeling the dew between your fingers, your mothers backlogged dreams, a sharp but honest tongue, an injury that you’re trying not to let define you… however, that could just be this weeks newest rumor.

character inspos: madison montgomery (american horror story), katherine pierce (the vampire diaries), blair waldorf (gossip girl), villanelle (killing eve), roy kent/jamie tartt (ted lasso), kate baker (spinning out), faith lehane (buffy the vampire slayer), kathryn mertueill (cruel intentions), fleabag (fleabag), franky fitzgerald (skins)

full name — taeng chaisai nickname(s) — tae (only by close friends) name meaning — melon, strong, majestic, leader age — twenty-six date of birth — october 31st, 1960 place of birth — hawkins, indiana current location — hawkins, indiana gender — cis female pronouns — she / her sexual orientation — lesbian religion — buddhist / agnostic occupation — former professional soccer player / unemployed education level — high school , some college before going professional family — aranya chaisai (mother), kovit chaisai (half-brother), sakda (father, deceased) finances — upper middle class spoken languages — thai / siamese, french, english faceclaim — fah yongwaree

tw: mentions of parental neglect, implied narcissistic parent, implied self harm (in forms of pushing body to limits non descriptive), parental death (due to earthquake)

your mother’s side of the family is cursed with girls, at least, that is what they say when aranya finds out she is pregnant with her first child. taeng would be born on october 31st, at three a.m. during witching hour. no one is surprised by how loud her cries are, it carries across the big house filled with nothing but empty rooms.

her family is a refined one, having come from thailand for her father’s work before she was born. they had made a life in indianapolis before moving to hawkins. it wasn’t what aranya wanted for the family, image is everything but they make do.

it’s not until taeng is one years old that aranya finds out of sakda’s infidelity, his son kovit comes to live with them when he’s two. and taeng and kovit do not get along for most of their childhood, but kovit is the catalyst for taeng’s love for soccer when they’re three. taeng had always been a fast baby in every way, curious and learning whatever she could get her hands and feet on. it’s then that aranya takes interest in the matter, seeing what potential her daughter could be, because it was clear that kovit would not be the one to hold the family’s honour due to the infidelity.

school is a breeze, but the coach’s in this small town are a pain in the ass. taeng is involved in gymnastics and soccer but it takes more than convincing and a sum of money to even give taeng a chance to kick a ball with the other boys, aranya often pushing her daughter to be better than all of them, otherwise how will people respect them?

but it isn’t hard to see that taeng has the talent and agility that most player’s don’t. she’s fast and can weave through a crowd with the ball before they can say ‘stop’. this is often the song of her life, being underestimated by many, loved by very few, but seen for what they are: determined, ruthless, and relentless. growing up in a male dominated sport and feeling like an outsider in your own skin and mind is nothing new but nothing could prepare her for middle school to high school. taeng had a bit of a reputation to be something of a bully, her motto? strike first before someone does it for you. her words are always honest and to the point, her blunt manner is never one that is taken kindly, but as her mother say, never say anything that you don’t mean. while taeng might not always like what her mother has to say, they have an understanding of each other.

there have been many instances where taeng has made a child cry and where she should feel bad there’s just nothing there. for a girl who’s grown up in a competitive state it’s hard to try and empathise with people that you should be kinder. taeng had not grown up in a kind environment.

her mother was the head of the household while her father worked and kovit hid in the shadows. though that bond between the two was a quiet one, but taeng would never show her brother love where her mother could see. that is one thing she hides, but in truth, it’s to keep him safe. but she will never say what she really means to him.

at the end of middle school is when she gets her first kiss with a girl and it confirms everything that she had already known about herself, but the rumour sticks with her to high school, and it’s not so much of a secret but more of: she doesn’t care. what she thinks about what people think about her love life is nothing in comparison to what people think about her playing a game.

taeng would have many flings with girls all throughout high school, but her one true love would always be herself and the game. her mother wouldn’t allow anything less. and if shes completely honest with herself? she’s scared of losing what little relationship she has with her mother than anything else.

high school soccer is probably one of the lowest she’s ever felt because of how hard she pushes herself to keep up with the boys and try and get people to notice her. her routine for her high school years is nothing but preparing for her future. she doesn’t have much time to do the things a normal high schooler would, while trying to keep up with her studies. she doesn’t falter, but there is a moment where she thinks that she’s about one second before snapping.

she rolls her ankle badly before summer break. she decides to play on it, and immediately regrets it after. that summer before the new school year is hell, her mother fears she’s falling behind, her father thinks that maybe it was a sign that maybe taeng should do something different with her life, her brother reminds her that this doesn’t have to be all that she needs to be.

she takes a months rest before the doctor clears her that it’s fine, but there’s also a high chance that she could sprain it badly again, but that’s all she needs to hear before she’s back out on the field and preparing for her senior year where everything matters.

women’s soccer during this time is not an easy sport to succeed in, but that’s where her mother’s scheming comes in : why not internationally? her mother uses her connections and gets people to scope her out and when they see her potential it’s all uphill (downhill) from there.

the family moves their entire life from hawkins to england.

taeng plays professionally for seven years before her career ending injury at the height of her career.

after a couple of months of rehabilitation from her injury they move back to hawkins with some of the money that taeng had earned.

then the earthquake hits, and taeng’s father dies. if taeng cried at the funeral, no one saw it. she didn’t know how a mourn a man she never really knew. they pack up his things and give them away when people start asking for donations.

taeng pushes herself to start running again, and only during the late hours of the night does she try and attempt to kick a soccer ball into the goal. but it never hits as right as it used to.

some more fun things:

she uh is not doing great ! honestly her entire life has been about pleasing her mother so now that she can’t do that she is simply spiralling and trying to get back to where she was but honestly she cannot do that anymore !

her and kovie are now starting to see each other for what they really are now that they are both mom’s disappointments which sucks but sibling bonding time !

she was pretty popular in terms of soccer i feel like , though obvs this is the 80′s and lbr it was a fucking struggle and i didn’t want to dive too deep into it bc this would be already too long but you get the point . women struggled so she really did everything she could to get to a point where at least people saw her more than just some girl trying to play soccer ya know ?

thrived better in england at least there were other international women that understood the struggle and now coming back to hawkins which is in shambles is rough. the entire year has been rough.

has no goddamn idea what she wants to do, she’s currently living off of her earnings but knows she’s got to figure out what she wants to do with her life

hasn’t cried since her birth probably ( this is a lie but she does not cry ! it’s hard for her like ok go off robot ! )

#━━ ❛❛ // TAENG CHAISAI ! ¦ soon turned out i had a heart of glass . 「 about ! 」#hawkinstm.intro

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robzombies-hotwife · 2 years

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I wish rich people would stop saying "scholarships and grants make college equal for low-income students! Poor people who take out loans are stupid and irresponsible!"

Oh hey, I'm a person who can speak of my own experience being a "good poor" smart kid who "pulled myself up by my bootstraps" and didn't take out loans. Let me tell you the sheer level of misery I lived in.

It started when I was 14. My mom stayed up all night to put me in the lottery for a spot at a charter school 30 minutes away by train. In my state, charters are free and public, they're just smaller with a dedicated focus (mine was STEM and early college). Luckily, I got in. I'd wish I didn't but my local public high school was a severely underfunded trash fire with a very low-quality of education. Both of my older siblings went there and they both said it was awful.

From that day until I graduated college at 21, my life was an out-of-control rollercoaster that yanked me along without ever giving me a chance to breathe or think for myself or develop a real personality and sense of self.

I entered a local college at 16 through my school's early college program. Tuition was free through the school, but class fees, textbooks, and other life expenses were so high I had to get a job and worked 20-30 hours a week at minimum wage to afford it. My most severe period of substance abuse was at this time because the stress threatened to pull me under every day. I had one short-term volatile relationship with someone who made me feel ugly that ended badly because I also couldn't give her any time or energy to make up for being me. I graduated at 18 with an Associate's and no debt, but also no friends or any good memories of high school. I openly begged my mother not to put my younger brother through the same thing when he started high school last year and thankfully, she didn't and he's happy as a normal teenager. They're in an economically better place now so maybe he'll have his college or trade school paid for in the future.

Normally, the first 2 years of college are supposed to be general studies, where you try a lot of things and figure out what you want to do with your life. Unfortunately, since I got my generals out of the way to save money in high school, but didn't have time or independence to develop any desires/goals of my own, I was on a time crunch after I graduated with a lot of pressure to immediately jump to high-level classes on a degree track. Even though I didn't have any actual interests or a plan for a degree I wanted, I transferred to my state university with some grants and scholarships. A gap year to decide what I wanted for myself or even what I was interested in was impossible because I would've lost those scholarships, so the current pulled me along. The scholarships I had required 15 credits a semester (high end of normal course load) and nearly straight A's. They also didn't cover housing, so I spent at least 4 hours on public transit a day because I had to live with my parents. Between that commute and my job (I still had to pay fees/books/food/etc), I missed A LOT of class and assignments. Even when I lived in the university's city for 2 semesters on the cheaper housing option without an expensive required meal plan, I had to work constantly at my shitty $8/hour deli job just to afford the rent, school stuff and food, though there were some months I went hungry because the paycheck didn't cover it. And I missed class and assignments so often that it was almost like I wasn't in school at all. I got fired from the deli during finals week because I was so goddamn exhausted and frazzled that I was late for a few shifts and snapped at people a couple of times.

And it was all for nothing because I ended up losing those scholarships for low grades anyway 💁

Fortunately, I only had one incredibly stressful semester left because I forced a 23-credit final semester for financial reasons. I moved back to my parents' and had my 4-hour commute again, plus the now full-time job I had to work to make up for the lost scholarship money. I graduated with a Bachelor's in December 2019 with a GPA below 3.0, no recommendations or internships (because I can't afford to work for free), and no good memories of college. I didn't even get a graduation ceremony for my trouble because of COVID.

I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD and medicated until May 2022 (so that undiagnosed condition added to my stress and inability to manage life), but I spent most of my time from 16-21 suicidally depressed because of university and the fact I had to work and travel constantly to afford to go when I couldn't even enjoy it or learn anything at all. I didn't date at all in college (or even now tbh) because my brain just screamed "how the fuck would you even have time for a relationship? You'd make them miserable" so now I'm 23, with a degree, no debt, and a steady career but severely under-socialized.

My situation is not unique. In fact, it's probably the furthest thing from unique. Some of my exact details are individual, but this is the fucking reality for most low-income students who try to live the American Dream and move up in the world through education. It is worse for students, particularly those who are racial minorities or have immigrant parents, who come from even lower income households, didn't have some of the opportunities I did (like free charter schools to make up for poorly funded public schools), or live in more expensive states. Work and struggle and sacrifice for years to go to a college where you don't have the time or energy to go to classes or study the textbooks you gave up your life to afford, all for a degree that you'll MAYBE be able to use for a career you don't hate.

I like my career (teaching ESL), but I had to pay $1k for a course to get a certificate because my Bachelor's degree, though somewhat practical, was utterly worthless for finding a job that pays actual money because research positions are usually unpaid. I never had a choice, because studying something creative is like studying unicorns and fairies when you're poor, but there are so many things I love that I wish I could've trained in instead. There was no point from 16-21 where I could've said "hey, make it stop, I can't breathe, I need time to think!" because I would have fucked up my entire life, possibly forever. Living life like that is like dancing on the edge of a knife with a cliff on either side: one wrong move and you slice your feet open and plummet to your death. There's no point mourning what happiness I could have had if I had lived normally, I just have to swallow my grief and move on.

And if you think "hey, that life sounds like it fucking sucks, I'll just take out loans"? Good luck ever paying those back because the interest is insane. That is, if Uncle Sam doesn't get you for missing a payment.

I don't blame my parents who genuinely tried their best to get me through school so I could have a better, easier life than they did. We've had a lot of therapeutic talks about my experiences and I have recieved some nice apologies for the pressure I was under as a teenager. I'm trying to learn to be happy and discover things I actually like and want now, but the fear of having to start college over again if I find something else I want to do sometimes keeps me awake at night in a panic.

I blame the highly exploitative and unfair system of American higher education. I blame the capitalists that keep wages low and prices high. I blame the society that shoves "exceptional" kids into the rigorous responsibilites of adulthood without letting them actually develop as people.

Most of all, I blame the out-of-touch fucking goverment who has the audacity to say eduaction is the great equalizer.

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kcnrqz · 8 months

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ESSAY

From Shame To Pride

Published in Celebrating Hope After Storm, The Indiependent Collective, May 2023

The first time another girl held my hand, I felt this wave of nausea wash over me, like I wanted to throw up. It was different from holding hands with my best friends—it was electric, and I knew it in my gut. I finally understood what it meant to have butterflies in my stomach, because it felt exactly that way. I felt kilig and excitement, but also confusion, guilt, and shame all at the same time.

I was sixteen then. Being a pastor's kid, I grew up in the church. During that time I was already part of a ministry and was leading worship services. I was also graduating from a science high school, always achieving the highest honors throughout my academic career. All my life, I was trying my best to live a straight life according to my beliefs.

From an early age, I believed that homosexuality is a sin, but my feelings left me at a crossroad—like one path leads to a life led by God and the other by sin. I felt so ashamed and guilty that I had a crush on a girl because I was straying away from God. Disgusted with myself, I vowed never to do it again and stay on the right path. I chose my faith.

Until I met another girl when I was nineteen and I fell in love with her. She was an activist and she spoke articulately and compassionately. She inspired me. But then the feelings of disgust, guilt, and shame came flooding once again. I was disappointed with myself because I couldn't keep my promise to the Lord. I felt unworthy of serving Him because I was soiled with sin.

It was the onset of my depression. I stopped attending classes, dragged myself to church, detached myself from my childhood friends. I felt worthless. I was punishing myself. I no longer wanted to live.

My mom noticed the changes in my mood and behavior. She sat me down in a heart-to-heart talk and I came out to her. I could see in her eyes that she was heartbroken from what I just told her. I was no longer her perfect child. She prayed for me, and in her prayers she asked the Lord to fix me and forgive me. She encouraged me to do the same, so that the Lord would help me get through "this phase." Then she told me not to tell my dad about this because we wouldn't know how he would react.

I wished to stop existing that day. I wasn't expecting that she would accept me right then and there, but I suppose I had hoped for a better reaction. I never saw her that sad my whole life and it broke me even more. I felt so alone.

The only ray of sunshine for me in what seemed to be months of darkness was whenever I would see the girl I had fallen in love with in college. She was what got me through attending classes that semester. I even joined her organization in hopes of having more time to spend with her. But to my disappointment, I found out that she already had a girlfriend. Of course I was heartbroken. But still, I was able to find love. It may not be from her, but I was lucky to have joined an organization where I found a family in the university—people who were open and understanding, who listened and empathized with me, who supported me in my struggle of finding myself. With them, there was no condemnation or judgment. I felt safe and that I no longer needed to lie or hide.

Because of them, I learned to be critical. I started to challenge the beliefs I held since I was young. I read and learned about sexuality, gender identity, and politics. I explored books, films, series, internet articles, whatever materials I could gather. I joined educational discussions, mobilizations, community integrations, and because of all of that I realized that I wasn't alone in my struggle, that there were many others like me who have been through the same situation, that my struggle with my identity was intersectional with the struggles of the marginalized in our society. That gave me a sense of belonging and a newfound purpose.

I shifted to another course. From taking up a pre-med course, I discovered my passion for the arts. If there was one thing I have learned from the church that stuck with me, it was being compassionate. I learned that I can make a difference in people's lives through art and other means. I finally thrived in college—my grades were good, I joined different organizations, began hosting a local radio program, became part of the student council, and eventually even had a girlfriend.

My friends also urged me to seek professional help for my mental health, and I finally did. Therapy taught me how to process my thoughts and emotions and how to understand myself more. I developed a greater sense of self-compassion while recovering from the trauma caused by my family, church, and internal homophobia.

It was a long road to finally accept myself for who I am. Breaking away from old ideas was a painful process because it was like chipping away parts of my old self to give way for growth. My recovery journey was an arduous one, like climbing the mountains with complex terrains, full of ridges and valleys and plateaus.

I can say that I am in a much better place now. I have learned to be kinder and more patient with myself and I have a loving partner (and a baby dog!), supportive friends, and a community that embraces me for who I am.

My parents are still conservative and in denial of my identity, but that's a battle for another day. I still go to church, mainly just to appease them and so that people won't talk behind their backs. However, I no longer let it affect me because I am confident and proud of what I have become.

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twinsizemattrcss · 11 months

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rolling your own cigarettes. stick-and-poke tattoos. being late to bed and early to rise. detention as an extra-curricular. keeping a packed bag at the back of your closet. a white t-shirt with cuffed sleeves. an heirloom watch that’s long-since stopped. opening your parachute at the last possible moment. falling in with the wrong crowd. your childhood bedroom being converted into an office. burning bridges. knowing that nobody really cares what you do anymore.

statistics.

full name: isidore emiliano fiorello nicknames: izzy, iz, fiorello name meaning: gift of isis age: twenty-nine date of birth: april 10th star sign: aries place of birth: staten island, new york current location: east haven, vermont gender: cis-male pronouns: he/him sexual orientation: a very good question religion: catholic (lapsed) occupation: line cook at the sunny side up diner family: giovanni fiorello (father, deceased) bianca dawson (née lombardi, mother, estranged), robert dawson (step-father, estranged), stefanie dawson (sister, estranged), james dawson (half-brother, estranged), molly dawson (half-sister), arturo fiorello (paternal uncle, deceased) education level: high school drop-out living arrangements: lives in his uncle's old house in sutherland park financial status: poor

biography. (death tw, motor accident tw, abusive parent tw, homelessness tw, assault mention tw, prison tw)

Izzy's father died when he was eight years old, and it ripped his world apart. His mother, Bianca, coped very badly with the loss, and struggled to balance her grief with raising Izzy and his little sister, Stef, alone.

Only a year after his father passed, Bianca started dating somebody new. His name was Robert Dawson - he'd known both of Izzy's parents since high school, and had apparently always held something of a candle for his mother. Izzy hated him from the moment he laid eyes on him, but Robert was there to stay. He and Bianca were married by the time Izzy was ten, and the Fiorellos became the Dawsons, with only Izzy clinging to his father's name.

Time passed, and Izzy's relationship with his family deteriorated irreparably. Robert was a controlling, insecure man, and seemed determined to erase all traces of Izzy's real father from existence. Pictures began to disappear from around the house - even ones kept in the supposed privacy of Izzy's room - they lost contact with the Fiorello side of the family, and any attempts to talk about his father were firmly shut down. Izzy started getting into trouble at school, picking fights and skipping class, and it just exacerbated his home life all the more.

He was so angry, so full of grief, so alone. Izzy ran away from home eight times between the ages of thirteen and sixteen, and after getting suspended from high school again and the argument to end all arguments, he ran as far as Vermont, to a town he remembered from his childhood. He could only hope his uncle still lived in East Haven - and that he'd take him in, if he did.

Izzy lived with his Uncle Arturo for a year and a half. He tried to set Izzy back on a decent path, but his efforts went unrewarded - Izzy was too far gone, and he couldn't accept the help. Ultimately, he destroyed the last safe haven he had left, stealing a sizeable amount of cash from his uncle and suddenly vanishing from town without a word.

After that, Izzy bounced around along the east coast, going wherever the wind took him - he was young, resourceful, and could find friends when he needed them. He fell in with a bad crowd, the petty crimes he’d committed in high school became more serious, and it seemed there was no turning back. The things Izzy did didn’t make him happy, and they didn’t fix his problems (rather increased them tenfold), but he was resigned to his fate.

When he was twenty-two, Izzy's crimes caught up with him, and he was arrested. He was sentenced to ten years for breaking and entering, and aggravated assault against a police officer.

It would be wrong to say it was a wake up call, but it certainly put his sad excuse for a life into perspective. He’d fucked it up, let his uncle and his father's memory down, and enough was enough. Izzy kept his head down, immersing himself in audiobooks and his work detail in the prison kitchen, and waited for his opportunity to apply for parole.

While he was inside, his uncle passed away. Izzy’s application for compassionate leave to attend the funeral was denied, though a lawyer came to tell him that Arturo had left him his home in East Haven. It wasn’t much of a comfort, but when Izzy finally got a date for parole, that is where he told the judge he would go.

Izzy lost six years of his life to prison. He has no family to turn to, and no friends worth knowing. He’s been back in town for four months now, and it’s been an adjustment… but he’s trying. Nobody owes him a second chance, but he is trying.

other things.

He’s never been formally tested, but Izzy is almost certainly dyslexic.

That being said, he’s a huge audiobook fan, and is technically very well-read because he listened to a lot of the classics while he was in prison. His favourite novel is Frankenstein.

He’d rather talk on the phone than text. Hell, he’d rather learn morse code than text - if you text him, he’ll respond with a voice note nine times out of ten.

Izzy has a lot of tattoos. Many of them are shitty and faded now - stick-and-pokes he’d either done himself or had a friend do for him - but there are a couple of nice, professional ones in the mix.

You’ll never find Izzy at the diner on a Thursday. That’s the day he meets with his probation officer, which he has to travel to Montpelier for.

The only member of his family that Izzy has any kind of contact with is his half-sister, Molly. It’s funny, he’s been in jail a solid most of her life, but she’s the only one that ever bothered to write to him.

The watch Izzy wears belonged to his dad. The face is cracked, and the hands have stopped turning, but he hasn’t tried to fix it - it got broken the night he was arrested, and serves as a reminder that he must do better.

#izzy: about #death tw #motor accident tw #parental abuse tw #prison tw #assault mention tw #basically this bio is fucked up and sad anyway <3

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