#but yeah i'm yet to learn to not give a shit about how people perceive me but there are days that this is harder than others

[albtrosz]

.

[billygoat26]

The amount of times people have said that gays are p3dos and are forcing the LGBTQ+ stuff onto everyone and then those same asshats proceed to push THEIR IDEAS ONTO US...

Or compare us to Nazis

Or try and provide scientific evidence that we're ped0s and tell us to stay away from the children. I've been accused of being a ped0 and the temptation for me to respond with "bitch I'm a minor myself, fuck off" is great because it's true.

I've legit been told to "police your community" and when I said I couldn't they basically said I was being a pussy (not those exact words) and when I told them I was a minor and what the fuck did they think I'd be able to do they just stopped responding lmfao

I've also seen people complaining about "where's straight pride month?" Like bitch you don't NEED one. You're not killed for who you like or don't like, you're not attacked (verbally or physically) because of how you identify, so get over yourselves and either ignore it or support it.

I'm tired of people who call themselves Christians using their religion as an excuse to be a bitch (not all of them, I've seen some who support. To those I give my respect). I've seen people use ai-generated images of the devil teaching kids pride, or the devil stitching the pride flag, or a parent using a shield against a rainbow and "protecting" the kids. I know pride was the original sin, but that's not what Pride Month is.

We don't think we're above everyone else. We just want to be accepted for who we are rather than all the shit I wrote above happening.

One of the people I've responded to I guess is religious and I specifically told them not to pray for me because I'm happy with how I am and don't waste their prayers on me... guess what? They retweeted my reply that said NOT to pray for me and told their prayer group to pray for me. Why? Because my "hardened heart" had been "destroyed by pride".

I just want to be me without the world seemingly being against my existence, for any future kids to be able to grow up in a world where shit that happened when I was in 6th grade won't happen to them, where they won't be hurt for being them, where people won't accuse them of being something they're not.

We're not mentally ill because of who we like or how we identify, we're not p3dos or Nazis or anything in between. We're people like you. You want the kids to be safe, but what if they're part of the LGBTQ+ community? Do you just disown them and stop giving a shit about them? Hypocrisy at its finest...

If you're gonna be anyone, don't be like the homophobic asshats on twitter. Treat others the way you'd like to be treated. That's the golden rule right? The one so many people promote yet don't follow? Yeah, learn it. I'm not perfect, nobody is. But we can try to be the best versions of ourselves rather than stooping to levels so low as described above.

Love yourselves. You're enough, you're amazing the way you are. Don't change yourself because of how others perceive you. Change yourself because you want to, because you like it.

Happy pride month everyone and stay safe out there. The world is a cruel place, don't let it break you down. <3

[eldritch-spouse]

Can Morrel teach me how to gut someone? I know I'm not a chef but I'm just really interested and it would be such a good bonding experience cough I have a gore fetish cough

[Hhhhn yes. Good.]

TW: Description of gore; Implied cannibalism; Erotic gore; You know the drill.

You haven't quite recovered since Morell slit his throat.

It was so quick. He's always so quick. Brutal. You keep getting surprised at how casually he'll massacre your kind like they're actual farm animals. It's so odd that the chef spares them a dehumanizing stare, genuinely perceiving these people in the likeness of mere creatures as soon as they're on his kitchen- And yet, you're somehow not in that category to him. Mercifully. Bizarrely. Suspiciously.

But hey, you had thought earlier, things already went to shit. You're never making it out of here. So you might as well lean into some less graceful urges.

" Are ya listenin', Piglet? Eyes up. "

Oh.

You had been fixated on the clean cut across the body's throat, having tuned out some of the chef's droning about how you have to cut around the anus and use zip ties to properly pinch it off, or what to do with the genitals -Testicles and such in this case- If you want to keep them. It's genuinely fascinating stuff to learn. Morell seems endlessly giddy to be teaching you this, and you're equally happy to obscenely watch him manhandle his meat stock.

A blink is all you offer when he finishes cutting off the upside-down dead man's shaft, placing it aside.

" Dingus. " He reprimands. " What do we do now? "

There's a pause as you flick through some shelves in your brain, pushing excitement aside. Well... Oh yes, you like this part.

" Uhm, cut from sternum to groin. "

The shroom lights up, grinning wide. " Smart piggy. " There's a breathless quality to his voice, his cheeks are vaguely blue with flustered enthusiasm, and there's blood stains on his smock where he's been palming at himself with a free hand whenever he wasn't using both to secure "the pig". You shudder, though Morell's next words are what makes a shine sparkle in your eyes.

" Ya wanna do this part, pumpkin? "

Your loins jump.

" Yes! Y- Yes please. "

He murmurs something into his scarf, as heated as you are, fetching a different knife from the table beside him, something you can handle. The chef moves to stand behind you, handing over the sharp utensil and pinching the skin where you need to start cutting. You can feel how hard he is and try to grind backwards, rewarded with a chaste bite to the shoulder.

" Focus. " He warns, playfully patting your hip. " Remember, slow an' easy, ya don' wanna puncture any organs. Gravity's gonna help ya some anyway. "

There's no way you'll make a mistake here, it's the part you like seeing him do the most, after all. Saliva sticks to your throat as you start zipping down carefully, hairs standing on end from the distinct sound of skin splitting apart. At some point, Morell's heavy breathing has you whining quietly in arousal.

" Fuck yeah, piglet. Ya got a talent. " He praises, as you appear to be doing exceptionally well for a first timer. Pride swells within you.

His hands go from stroking over your sides feverishly to sliding into your pants, rubbing at you through the thin fabric of your underwear with bloodied digits. Although your eyelids flutter and your legs tremble slightly, you're able to pull the main entrails out as they hang off their husk. Morell whispers praise for your prowess, occasionally commenting about how lucky he is to have found you.

Having been turned on beyond measure since the very start of this whole process, it doesn't take too long before you're getting close, bucking into the monster's rough motions while shakily cutting away at persistent connective tissue. He moans low at the sight and you honestly think you'll come if he does that again.

When you believe the step is completed, you fully give into the chef's lewd rubbing, head tossing onto his back as you desperately chase after that sweet coil, holding onto his arms, clipping out moans, so very close-

Until that hand slips out your pants.

And, to be perfectly frank, only the smallest bit of self-control prevented you from stabbing him in frustration.

" But-! "

Morell barks his laughter, teasingly slapping your now sensitive nethers, before placing a chaste peck on your cheek.

" Hold them horses, we ain't even got to tha ribs, darlin'. "

Absolute asshole. At least this part is good too.

" Can... Can you tear them? I like seeing you do it with your bare hands... "

Morell's eyelid twitches, he seems to steam like a kettle on a stove. " 'Course sweetie. "

Somehow, you don't think it'll take too long before he's ramming into you over the nearest counter.

[onlyswan]

hi art, I just read your recent installment and I must say that drunk art is just exceptionally poetic and I cannot stress it enough, you really now how to put such emotions into words that you know would deliver the sparks. I love every word you put into it especially these parts:

you don’t know if you’re blinded by love, putting your trust in jungkook when he said that he wanted to build a life with you; or if it’s arrogance, having the trust in your ability to stand on your own feet again incase a match is thrown in a puddle of fuel on the floor. the latter is more painful to think about, quite frankly. just because you can, doesn’t mean that you want to. you have to. you have to. with bruised knees from praying for a little more time, you have to. the earth doesn’t stop orbiting the sun when your house burns down.

you perfectly describe what it is like to be in a place where you cannot fathom how did you get in this place that is too good to be true yet so scary and that no matter how frightening it is you know you will never have it any other way and taking that big of a step and putting your heart in line with someone like THE jeon jungkook and making a home out of his heart, I must say that a person as beautiful as oc deserve him so so so much and it is so nice that oc seems to be mirroring a lot of people like us who carries baggage yet is experiencing such exqusitely beautiful love gives me comfort like hell yeah, we also deserved to be loved despite of it all.

the epiphany that he is doing this at 2am not because time has arrived to daunt him and he needs to leave your bed to go home. not anymore. whatever this is, it feels so fucking good. oh my god, he looks forward to spending the rest of his life feeling you breathe next to him, getting lost in how peaceful you look asleep when he randomly wakes up in the middle of the night.

also this... this made me swoon so hard that I just have to read it a couple of times to be able to absorb the power this thought holds. the domesticated feelings. looking at the love of your life and suddenly your future flashes in your eyes. oh jungkook, bless your sweet sweet heart.

I just love them both so much, they are both so playful yet they have the most genuine love for each other. Also art, I was listening to boygenius' album earlier when the song true blue played and it reminded me of in which! couple like:

You've never done me wrong Except for that one time that we don't talk about Because it doesn't matter anymore Who won the fight? I don't know, we're not keeping score

And it feels good to be known so well I can't hide from you like I hide from myself I remember who I am when I'm with you Your love is tough, your love is tried and true blue

I remember the previous installment and it's just so soft and so cute and so freaking wholesome like goodness, thank you for creating them. Anyway, that's all this is getting too long hehe Love, ♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧

“hell yeah, we also deserved to be loved despite of it all.” 🥹🥹🥹 i cried

ngl it took me a while to answer this bcs i keep reading your words over and over again. i love when they’re talked about like this 🥲 it’s just soooo heartwarming to learn that the messages i’m weaving throughout the drabbles are well received. like it still feels surreal to me that you guys read read my works :,( and have come to understand and love jungkook and oc deeply as much if not more than me. literally feel free to analyze bcs i’m so interested in hearing your thoughts and how you perceive them !! thank you so much for your time and attention :") and i hope i never waste or take them for granted. i really am so grateful for each like reblog comments and asks 🫂💕

and bless jungkook’s sweet sweet heart indeed </3 baby is so happy to finally be living with oc

omg these lyrics and especially “you’ve never done me wrong except for that one time we don’t talk about“ holy shit??? 😭 so in which couple coded indeed. thank you for sharing i’ll be listening to it a lot !! <333

[dundunny]

My friend came over and beat Silent Hill 3. Considering we played 2 over a decade ago and 1 I think two or four years ago, my memory is a bit fuzzy for comparisons but I don't think I'm far off. My buddy knew the first two installments very well and finished them easily, but even though he was less acquainted with 3, he still managed to beat it in about four hours. So that should give you an indication on how short it is. Not that Silent Hill games are lengthy, but I feel this was a bit of a rushed installment.

Let me elaborate. By no means is 3 a bad game, but it lacks the complexity and nuance of its predecessors. Here's an example. Upon entering the hospital, the protagonist Heather can find a note with a doll from a dude named Stanley Coleman, and throughout the level more notes will reveal his obsession with her and that he's watching her movements. Eventually the player can learn the boss of this level killed Coleman and you can actually find his body in the morgue, making choking noises. The whole situation is creepy because we're currently in a hellscape where there shouldn't be any cognizant people, yet Coleman was able to observe the player unnoticed. Yes, that's Silent Hill-esque, but that's where that subplot ends. He never comes up again, and honestly when my friend played he never completed Coleman's storyline and I had to learn a lot of what I typed here from watching a youtube video. I think if this took place in 1 or 2, Coleman would be interwoven much better into the general plot instead of being this one-off event.

That's just one example but the whole game feels like that. Considering there's only one ending (yeah, OK, there's the aliens and such, but only one canon ending), it really limits the player to a linear path, whereas in even the PS1 game you had many different choices with how to handle the situation as Harry Mason. I think the developers were leaning more on trying to create that weird Silent Hill ambiance without the substance that would make me question the myself and the situation. Another example is noise. All of the games use it to frighten the player, but 3 really oversaturated it to the point it was no longer useful to discern if there are enemies in the area, nor did it scare me as much.

However there were some really great aspects to the game. Heather herself is actually an amazing protagonist. Yeah, OK, for some reason she was a shittier fighter than Mason or James Sunderland, but in terms of personality she's great. One criticism I'd give the previous games—even the much-beloved Silent Hill 2—is the conversations were stilted and unnatural. Maybe it was 90s and early 2000s terrible translations and voice acting, but whenever there was a cutscene sometimes I could no longer suspend disbelief. If I found myself in this nightmare world with demons, and I stumbled upon one seemingly normal person, I would not be entertaining whatever random tangents this person wants to talk about. I'd just be hyping over and over that we need to stick together and figure a battleplan to survive. Heather leans more heavily towards my instinct, and her conversations often follow the themes of who the hell are you, what the hell is going on, and if you're responsible for this get away from me. Also whoever animated her face deserves all the accolades. This game out in 2003 and we played with the original disc in my PS2, and holy shit I think her expressions look better than some modern games today twenty years later. I can easily perceive every single one of her emotions from skepticism to fear to anger... It's all there.

My friend told me this is the last of the original development team and afterward it goes downhill, so probably this is the last Silent Hill for me. I'm glad he was able to play for me because it was truly delight even though I hated every single moment of it.

[rescuefield-a]

"SOMEBODY ALWAYS NEEDS TO GO FIRST. I KNOW THIS. I GO FIRST." - A STUDY ABOUT FEAR.

( no i promise i'm not jason and this is actually going somewhere lmao )

there's something ironic in how claire is perceived as a civilian ( albeit with good skills ) yet at the same time whenever we see her in a situation where an outbreak is happening, she is always in the front: in raccoon city she fought all the way to keep sherry safe, same in harvardville with rani ( and the other survivors to an extent ) and then again at sejm island trying to keep moira safe because she's family and if something happened to her, claire would never forgive herself, and then again sonido de tortuga with the tv show crew.

she stays calm, goes first, kills the zombies, and everybody almost always makes it back home - at least those close to her ( but that's not her fault, rather capcom adding random people in the story just to kill them off ) so we can say safely that she's been through it all, and up until sejm island she had seen enough for the T-Phobos to not kick in while most of the team turned, with the exception of those who managed their fears. i wouldn't say claire was unfazed about the events unfolding on the island, but in the end if you think about it, everything was really just another thursday for her.

is claire redfield fearless? no, but she might as well, because her tolerance has become so high chances were she realistically would have been the sole survivor of those experiments. but what does this mean for her life and her future? well, to put it simply, claire is obviously scared in these situations but there's always the awareness that she can go through it, because she can do anything - her confidence in her skills saves her more times than she'd like to admit. so... is she not a good host for T-Phobos? yes and no, because claire might be scared but you'll always catch her do the craziest shit even if it saves one person, she's selfless like that.

T-Phobos activates based on the levels of adrenalin and norepinephrine, so an intense fear or panic should be enough to start a mutation. to avoid this issue, claire wears an upgraded version of a wristband retrieved from their second trip to the island to rescue moira. for those who are not familiar, the wristband shows the results based on the colours green, orange and red: green means stress hormone readings are normal; orange is for significant but acceptable hormone production. a blinking red light means the subject is actively producing large quantities of the hormones, and finally a fixed red light means the subject is determined to mutate.

what could possibly spike claire's panic to a point her health might be in danger? well, infinite darkness trailer ironically gives us an answer about it when we see leon run to her and jason's voice tells us that the root of terror starts with fear. let's go over that for a second, yes? sure, claire has a noble heart and cares for everybody... but at this point a lot of people died around her - some were good, some were bad; you take that in and eventually move on.

but her family ( blood or choice doesn't matter ) is not like the others. the main cast of this franchise is pretty much the only people who actively get the job done, and so far they all always made it out alive. if that were to change ( i hope capcom would never tho ) then that would be enough for claire to give up and the dormant virus to kick in - because all it takes is a second, no take backs.

so yeah, claire has been wearing the wristband since 2011, never takes it off and it's literally her life saver. sometimes it goes up to orange but she's learned how to control her breathing and has started meditating and all that helpful stuff to clear her mind when life is too much.

[pedropascalunofficial]

Pedro Pascal and Lena Headey

Head to head interview

Hunger Magazine, Issue 6. Released December 28, 2014. Photoshoot October 15, 2013.

Thirteen million. That's the number of people, on average, who tuned into each episode of the third season of Game of Thrones. Among them was Chilean actor Pedro Pascal, who was as enthralled by the sex and slaughter as the rest of us. But little did he know that within a few months he'd be pitching up on the shores of Belfast to join the cast as Oberyn Martell, affectionately known as the Red Viper. Sound ominous? It is. The Red Viper is GoTs newest anti-hero, “sexy and charming but driven by hate”. Sounds like he'll be right at home.

Pedro, on the other hand, though he looks good on paper, wasn't the obvious choice for the role. Expecting a big name to ride into King’s Landing, the show's fans took to forums to express their concerns as soon as the news broke. So is he worried? Like hell he is. “The fans had the part cast in their minds already. They knew who they wanted and it certainly was not me. But I'm not stupid, | presumed that people were going to say ‘who the fuck is this guy’. Since I anticipated the reaction it didn't throw me off.”

“There are so many different ways to go into battle with yourself when you're trying to get a job. I felt a certain amount of pressure because I wanted to make everyone happy. The fan base is so specific and, as a fan myself, I understand the relationship that they have with the show. The Red Viper is the best part I've ever played, and in season four shocks come at the most unexpected times. You might think you know, but you have no idea,” he explains.

Looks like the Red Viper could be in line to fill a Walter-White-sized-hole in television, but to test the theory we pit Pascal against Lena Headey, aka the Queen. Because if you can come away from Cersei unscathed, you can handle anything.

LH: So, Pedro, you come into Game of Thrones in season four, playing a pretty major character. Does that fill you with joy or dread?

PP: I'd say it fills me with joy because it’s a really fucking fun part. He’s a badass. He comes up against a lot of the main characters in the show. I'm very aware of the show. I watch it like a fan.

LH: Were you a fan before you arrived in Belfast?

PP: Yeah, I was a proper fan. I was caught up in the drama of it before I even auditioned for the part. I was already up to speed.

LH: I remember meeting you and thinking, “he fucking loves the show’.

PP: I kissed your ass.

LH: Well, it worked. We're friends now.

PP: I was like a tourist visiting the set, and yet I had to act with you and be in a scene with the characters that I had such a specific association with already.

LH: So you’re saying it’s boring?

PP: No, it wasn’t boring at all. It was extremely, relentlessly surreal.

LH: And who were your favourite characters up until that point?

PP: Not you.

LH: I realise that!

PP: There are too many characters to have a favourite, but I was fascinated by the Lannisters because they're so frightening. They scared me and then you would come in and pull sympathy from your audience somehow, and I found that rather fascinating. The Northerners were so easy to like or get behind, but it was quite something to see people sympathise with a Lannister, after you made people see things from their perspective.

LH: Speaking of being slightly ambiguous as a character, you come in as a major player and a very well-loved character in the eyes of people who read the books, and he’s somewhat of an anti-hero. Did you base him on anyone?

PP: What does an anti-hero mean exactly?

LH: It means he doesn't wear deodorant, doesn't it? [Laughs]. Someone you shouldn't champion, but you do, like Walter White in Breaking Bad.

PP: No, | didn’t really base him on anyone.

LH: Did you take anything from classic movies that you thought you could use and spin to your advantage playing the Red Viper?

PP: God, that’s a good question. I probably did subconsciously. Now I feel under the spotlight because I need to think of somebody, and I have so many in my mind! I think that’s something that is happening a lot in TV today: the anti-heroes are central to these television shows, and people are really getting behind them, even though they're not necessarily the most moral characters. So I'd say that ‘ve become more familiar with the character who's obviously very flawed but gets you on their side — you have complicated feelings about them. But I think I saw the story too much from this character's perspective to perceive any flaws.

LH: He has some.

PP: I know, from the outside. But I don't see any of them. What are his flaws?

LH: His flaws? He's a dirty bastard!

PP: Why is he a dirty bastard? He likes to fucking fight, for sure.

LH: Back to you as an actor. You've done it for a long time and, as we all know, the path is not always golden, and sometimes you think, “fuck it” and you want to leave it and do something else. Have there been moments where you wanted to give up?

PP: Yes, there have been moments where I came very close to giving up. But I never had anything to fall back on. I think you can understand that.

LH: Because were stupid?

PP: We're stupid.

LH: I can't even make pizza!

PP: We don’t have any other skills.

LH: None at all!

PP: And that’s the odd conundrum. You get to a point where you think, “This isn’t going to happen. This isn’t sustainable. I'm too exhausted, and it can't be good for me.” There were moments where I truly did try to formulate an idea of what I'd do. I thought I'd go back to school, start pre-med again and go to medical school or something like that.

LH: But that didn't happen, you just thought about it?

PP: Yes, I'd have thoughts, but it was still fantasy really. But at the time it felt like a practical life plan. Do you know what I mean?

LH: Yeah of course, you need to pay the fucking rent.

PP: Exactly. You just try to escape from the chaos of what you're feeling by trying to create order in your life. Order seems like a solution to save you from the pain of acting!

LH: It's a mental pain. Who was the first person you called when you got the role?

PP: My sister.

LH: Does she watch the show?

PP: Yes, she does.

LH: Pedro Pascal... or Pablo as I called you when I had too much wine, which was deeply insulting.

PP: Even family members have done that to me! Do I look more like a Pablo? Because it happens with about ninety-five percent of the people I meet.

LH: No, I think I’m just an ignorant drunk person.

PP: No, you were an ignorant drunk person that night is what you're saying.

LH: And now I’m educated.

PP: [Whispers] But | want you to call me Pablo.

LH: Ok, Pablo! When you first arrived on set in Northern Ireland, what was your feeling showing up to a bunch of British actors? Did it feel different to doing an American project?

PP: Yes, but I loved it. It wasn’t intimidating. I found it surreal because I’d watched and loved the show. I hadn't had the opportunity to work on something that I was really familiar with before, so it was overwhelming. But it was far more delightful than intimidating. Also you guys were really cool. Everyone was friendly.

LH: Oh, that’s just fake.

PP: Well, you guys were good at it!

LH: We know Game of Thrones is very popular obviously. Do you have any thoughts, or fears, about what this is going to bring you in terms of exposure?

PP: I have hope.

LH: Oh, God. I don’t mean to shatter that, but give it up.

PP: I don’t know really. It’s all been filmed, and now I'm back to my normal routine, so I haven't really thought about it. I remember when we finished filming and we were on our way to the airport, you asked me, “How does it feel you're all done?” and I couldn't really answer.

LH: You were quite emotional that day.

PP: I was very emotional because I’d had such an amazing time doing the part. Also just being there immersed in the experience... You described it to me best. You told me how I'd be feeling.

LH: We don't know your character's backstory when you enter the show, and you have some rather brutal scenes. Anyone who has read the books will know what I’m talking about.

PP: My character comes in, he stirs a bunch of shit up, and then he makes this fucking enormous exit. Now can | ask you a question?

LH: What is it? I’m not going to sleep with you. Give it up.

PP: Oh, come on! This has gone to shit and it’s your fault, so good luck to whoever has to edit it! But anyway, sometimes I'd hang out with the cast members and we'd go to dinner and they would get stopped constantly. There was no denying who they played because they were so recognisable, but you got away with it because you have this beautiful blonde wig on in the show, and in real life you are...

LH: Grey?

PP: {Laughs] No! You have beautiful chestnut hair! Is it liberating to not be recognised the way some of the other cast members are?

LH: Yes, it is liberating.

PP: Liberating being able to walk down an alley in Dubrovnik without being stopped?

LH: Yes, except sometimes | get recognised in the weirdest places. A woman was emptying my bag at Heathrow Airport's security gates and just went, “Are you the Queen?” while rummaging through my underwear. It was so fucking weird.

PP: It seems they're more respectful to you?

LH: Because they're frightened. Wait until they meet the Viper.

PP: Well, that covers it.

LH: I think we're going to get our own show out of this, you know

Interested in learning more about Pedro? Check out Pedro Pascal Unofficial on Pinterest!

[mousetrap-if]

Wait AHHH!! I just got the cave thibg!!!!!!! Fucking shit thats smart!! Like I think that I know what it is supposed to be mean but what does it specifically represent for tou?????? You said in that inspiration post that every thing is really prrsonal abd represent stuff from your life so what is Platos cave supposed to represent here???? (I hope youre willing to share cause Im really curious) Thank youu!!!!!!!!! 💕💕💕

Ah, thanks! Yeah, I'm willing to share some of what the cave metaphor means to me, but I'll go ahead and put it under the cut in case people aren't interested or would rather not hear my thoughts on it/discussions of my personal experiences.

(Also, adding this after writing the next bit, there are explicit spoilers for the different cave dreams so if you haven't played through all of those yet and don't want to have them spoiled, I'd suggest playing through them first before reading what's under the cut. Warning that this is also long and rambling. When I talk about this kind of stuff I can never tell if I'm being coherent or not, so, please let me know if something is unclear.)

Yeah, so, I think you got it ☺️ The intro dream is a take on Plato's Allegory of the Cave both literally and figuratively.

Literally you have the setting of the cave with the pathway, the fire, the chained spectators, and the shadows on the wall.

The one aspect that's notably missing is the wall with the people showing puppets/carrying objects behind it, creating the shadows upon the wall. This is absent for a couple reasons. First, in the physical space of the scene, where you land you're in the place of those individuals. At the beginning of the story, MC is one of those people continuing the show, creating the unreal world that the spectators believe in (as I myself was before, and by telling this story I'm putting the readers into my shoes, showing my perspective). You are literally in the place of the individuals behind the scene.

Secondly, not being able to see any puppeteers putting on the puppet show is a representation of how at Whimsey everything behind the scenes is meant to stay as hidden as possible (a philosophy which led to the construction and use of the tunnels) to the point where it's meant to give the impression that the puppeteers simply don't exist. Even if you're freed of the chains and able to perceive the fire, you're still unable to see all the moving pieces. You're still intentionally being kept in the dark.

Now, as for the fire, I could go into what the Shadow represents, but that mostly lies outside of the metaphor of the cave. Thinking about it now, the fire is mostly relevant to the literal aspects of the cave and the specific fire dream moves away from the cave metaphor.

The descent dream also departs from the cave metaphor and has in itself deeper meanings related to personal experience and foreshadowing (as a hint, some of the most innocuous and seemingly unimportant lines in that section will become the most important) but that's not really relevant to Plato (or at least, it's not consciously related to his works).

Now the two dreams which are heavily tied to the cave metaphor are the puppet dream and the escape dream.

With the puppet dream, you become shackled in the same way the residents of the cave are shackled. You've seen the truth, but are being forced into silence and made to accept a shattered fantasy. (Again, many deeper meanings, but I think that's it for the cave relevance)

The final dream is the one that's most tied to the cave metaphor. In the escape dream, you've taken in the fantasy and the show, know something of the truth, and wish to escape. Perhaps to share what you've learned with others, perhaps to learn more about the world you've only caught glimpses of, or perhaps just to escape from the horrifying reality you've awoken to. But you aren't allowed to leave. Something wishes to keep you there and no matter how hard you try, you cannot be free of the cave. Because you've experienced the fantasy, you can never be free of it and this manifests as a creature preventing your escape.

But what is it that keeps you in your own cave, reader? When you turn around at the end, what do you see? A terrifying amalgamation of the worst aspects of the fantasy? Something horrifyingly and uncannily inhuman? Yourself? Is the thing compelling you to stay in the darkness something external and sadistic or is it internal and masochistic? For me all of the above are valid answers and I don't think there's one true one (might help to know that I loved my job more than anything and was almost killing myself for it but I self-termed just before my program was supposed to end cause I was literally working myself to the grave and at the mercy of some particularly awful coworkers). Now, I do have something very specific that I imagine when I picture the Creature, but I don't want to share what that is. I'd rather leave that unsaid so you can imagine whatever your mind fills in the blank with.

The other major meaning behind the cave, is how it parallels my purpose for writing the story. In a way I feel like I was a prisoner of the cave for years without realizing it. Now, I've escaped the cave, seen the reality behind the fantasy, and this is me attempting to explain the truths that I witnessed (and the staggering fear which accompanies that act). There's also the lingering question of would I be better off in ignorance of the truth or am I better off knowing reality? I might wish to return to the blissful ignorance of the puppet show, but I'll never be able to. My eyes have adjusted to the sun and I'm no longer able to perceive the shadows on the wall. When I return to the cave, I no longer see the wonders of the fantasy. All I see is darkness. Darkness accompanied by lapping waves of pleasant nostalgia, vicious pain, and icy regret.

So, yeah. Real pleasant stuff. Hope that answers your questions and that my prattle makes at least some sense. Thanks again for this ask, I enjoy talking about philosophy and stuff and since no one knows that I write this stuff, I never get the chance to talk about it.

[callemreine]

Brave face, talk so lightly(hide the truth)

'All my life, I've just wanted to make things easier for them.'

Au August

Day/Prompt: Day 26 - Soulmate

Ship: Prinxiety, brief logicality, creativitwins

Word count: 3k (I'm so sorry I got carried away)

Cw: swearing / brief murder mention / implied death / crying / nightmares(?) / anxiety mention / caps / claustrophobia(?)

A/N: the prompt is your dreams are your soulmate's memories. The title is from the song "Sick of losing soulmates" by dodie. I wrote the first 1/4 of this a few days ago and the rest in one sitting and I couldn't care less about proofreading it so Im so sorry if there are any mistakes ;-;

@tsshipmonth2020

I see a girl in the distance. She has her back turned. Long chocolate-colored hair tied in a low messy bun. My hand is reaching out to her. I feel this sudden longing to be held by this woman. Craving her caring and loving words. Telling me that everything is going to be alright.

Wait. Why is she getting farther away?

She looks back at me with a sad smile. Everything gets dark. I let my eyes stray from her to look around. When was I in a hospital corridor?

"I'm sorry, Pumpkin. You're gonna have to continue our adventure without me. But, fear not, Little one. I'll always be there by you. You just gotta learn to know where I am,"

She caresses my cheek, giving me the warmest smile I have ever received.

She's gone, suddenly. I touch my cheek, still feeling the ghost of her warm touch. Along with… something wet? Am- Am I crying?

"Roman!"

I don't move. I feel stuck. But, also free, somehow. Just unsure of what to do, I guess?

"Roman! Wake up. You idiot!

"Roman!

"Oh, thank all things unholy! I thought someone was in our room, trying to murder us! You were crying, and- and whispering stuff! And it's creeping me the fuck out! And I'm not easily creeped out, you know that" Remus exclaimed as he sat on Roman's chest, grabbing his twin’s shoulders.

"Man, you're soulmate must have some twisted memories," He continued, getting off of Roman and returning to his own bed across the room.

'Yeah. Twisted…' Roman thought.

~*~*~

"You okay there, Sweetie?" Roman heard from where his head was buried on the kitchen counter. "Yeah... Just thinking about my soulmate again," he admitted.

"Another bad dream?" His mom inquired as she sat next to Roman, patting his back. "It's not just that. It's about the move. Like, we're never really sure which of our memories they see, right? But, they've seen all my memories from this place. Like, they know where I've been my entire life…" he trailed off.

"I'm just not sure how they would feel seeing a whole new different place… They don't seem to be in a place to experience a big change right now. All my life, I've just wanted to make things easier for them. And, yeah, my dreams don't really change that much. But, I make an effort, y'know?" Roman looked up at his mom to seek at least some kind of reassurance.

"I understand what you mean, and I think that what you're doing is great. And I know that you're gonna be the bestest thing that's ever gonna happen to them. But, I'm really sorry. We don't really have any choice with this move. I know your soulmate is in a dark place right now, but you can't always do everything for them. You're also your own person," His mom hugged him.

Roman felt like he was hopeless in this situation. And, he was always hoping for the best. For his soulmate or otherwise. Maybe his mom was right about putting himself first sometimes.

~*~*~

Virgil was in his first period when someone he didn't expect to walk into his classroom… walks into his classroom… They were wearing an army green shirt, a denim jacket with neon green highlights and spikes at the bottom, ripped jeans, and platform boots with more spikes and vulgar words written on them. To say that this man was familiar was an understatement. He KNEW this man's entire life THROUGH his dreams.

Virgil felt like he was trespassing someone's life. Like, he wasn't supposed to know the man. And that, they shouldn't be in any way related. Especially to their sibling.

He wasn't really ecstatic about meeting his soulmate. IN SCHOOL NO LESS. It wasn't really an ideal 'meet-your-soulmate' place for someone like Virgil.

"Alright, students, I'm sure you've all noticed that we have a new student right here. Now, why don't you go and introduce yourself, Mister," their teacher said to the denim jacket guy.

"Umm. Sup? I'm Remus Duke Kingsley. Nice to meet you all. And, if you see a guy that looks like me but without the mustache and wears red all the time, he’s always loud, you can’t miss him. That's my twin brother, Roman. The boring one," Remus says, yawning by the end of his introduction.

'HOLY FUCK, TWINS?!' Virgil thought. Fortunately(or unfortunately, depending on which part of Virgil's brain you're asking), Remus already gave him a vague description of who to look out for.

~*~*~

Virgil continues his day and falls into his daily routine, which mostly includes attempting to avoid being perceived by anyone. It usually succeeds if you exclude his friend, Patton, from ‘anyone.’ He only hopes that his soulmate also sees Patton in their dreams cuz, to be honest, Patton is the ray of sunshine everyone needs. Yeah, he was also friends with Logan, but he’s more like a moon if you ask him.

Virgil goes into the cafeteria and sits at their usual table, his back facing the entire cafeteria. He takes out a paper bag from his bag and grabs the sandwich he bought earlier, not waiting for his friends.

A few moments pass before Logan and Patton reach his table. “Hey, kiddo! You alright?” Patton says as he sits down. Virgil just gives them a nod and continues to eat. “I heard this morning that there were new students,” Logan inquires before Patton interrupts “Oh yeah! They’re twins! I have first period with one of them. He’s really nice. Oh! Hey! Roman! Over here!” Patton shouts and waves his arm toward a student that just entered the cafeteria. “Hope you guys don’t mind that I invited him over to sit with us,” He continues and flashes both Virgil and Logan a smile no one could say no to.

“Hey, Patton.” The guy says to Patton. “Hope you guys don’t mind me crashing your table. I’m Roman by the way,” Roman says to the other two. “Pleasure to meet you, Roman. I’m Logan. And, no, we wouldn’t mind at all,” Logan answered him back. Roman looked over to Virgil who just nodded and said his name. Roman then proceeded to sit next to Virgil but not paying him any mind.

And, though Virgil seemed to be calm about the situation, his mind is currently in flames having his anxiety and his gay panic fight over each other. Virgil is currently waiting for who would win, that's why he seems so calm on the outside. After finishing his sandwich, he was trying to think of something he could do to keep himself from leaving and be noticed. He looked over to Logan, attentively listening to Patton talking about the dog he saw this morning. Roman was silently eating his lunch, also listening to Patton, but looking around the cafeteria every once in a while.

It seems that Virgil’s anxiety won the fight because he decided that he doesn’t want to stick around with his friends and his apparent soulmate without doing anything. So, he stands up and excuses himself from the group. "Hey! Wait!" Roman calls after him. Virgil stops a few feet from the table to look back at Roman who was already jogging towards him.

"Virgil, right?" He assures.

Virgil nods. "Ok, there’s just something I wanna ask you. Are those two soulmates?" Roman throws his thumb back, pointing at the two left at the table. "Cuz, as much as how adorable they look together, I kinda don't want to be stuck as a third wheel," he continues.

"Oh. Yeah, those two are soulmates. Sometimes, I wonder if they ever do notice me every time I leave the table," Virgil elaborates, looking back at his friends with a slight smile.

"Umm. Class doesn't start for a few more minutes. I was wondering if I could join you for a while? Wherever you were going…" Roman trailed off, realizing he didn't know where the shorter male was headed.

"Uhh. Yeah, sure. I was just headed to the courtyard to pass the time,"

'Shit. Virgil, why are you doing this?! Why did you agree?! You have anxiety!' Virgil mentally scolded himself.

"Ok. Cool. I'll just go get my stuff," Roman flashed Virgil a smile before heading back to the table.

'Fuck. I am so screwed,' Virgil thought.

~*~*~

"So, what's the deal with those two? I mean, how did they deal with the soulmates thing?" Roman finally spoke a few moments after they found a bench to settle on. "Uhh, well. Logan is my childhood friend and the first day we started high school here, they both had a dream of roll call the other had that day, I guess? They both heard each other's name and boom. You got your glasses gays," Virgil discussed, reminiscing the events that happened that day.

Roman let out a chuckle at Virgil's last words, causing the other's heart to skip a beat. They remain silent for a while, watching the other students passing by.

"What about you?" Roman spoke up.

"What about me?" Virgil glances back.

"I mean, what about you? Have you met your soulmate? Do you know who they are? You just seem like an interesting individual to me, having to stick around knowing you're third-wheeling all the time yet valuing your time with them and your time with yourself all the same. Well, either that or I'm just embarrassed that I think you're uncomfortable with me here…" Roman rambled, rubbing the back of his neck, embarrassed.

Virgil chuckled, "Nah. I just get anxious when meeting new people. Plus, I think you're a pretty nice guy." They smiled at each other, Virgil feeling his face heat up, and looks away immediately. "And, about the soulmate thing. I think I have a clue of who they might be, I just…" he trailed off.

"What's holding you back?" Roman muttered, lowering his head, attempting to catch the other's eye. "I… I just think that my memories aren't that… for them. They're just this amazing and joyful person… I just don't think they deserve to see my bland memories every night,"

The pair fell silent, Roman feeling sympathy for the other. Virgil felt Roman shift in his seat before speaking up, "I don't think anyone's memories are ever bland."

Virgil looks up at Roman who has a far-off look with a slight smile on his lips. "I think that our dreams are what shows us what we're missing in life. What our soulmate has that we need and what we have that they need. You know, what makes you both feel complete when you're with each other," Roman smiled.

Virgil pondered on the other's statement for a while. "Is that... Is that how you feel when you're with your soulmate?" He said, being careful with his words. Roman sighed but remained smiling, "I haven't met them yet. But, what you said earlier reminded me of them. I always think they're a little different. My moms said that dreams are supposed to show my soulmate's memories. But, no one is ever sure which ones we see. Well, my dreams always have one thing in common… There's darkness every time…" Roman trailed off, looking more sad as he continued.

"Sometimes, they walk out of their house and, suddenly, everything goes dark and I see pairs of eyes staring at me as I walk. Or sometimes, they lie in bed and, suddenly, it's dark again and I'm stuck inside a box too small for me. But, there’s always this one dream that always repeats itself. Though, I'm not sure my soulmate's gonna be comfortable with me sharing," Roman finally snaps out of his trance and looks up at Virgil, looking embarrassed.

At this point, Virgil is now entirely sure that the person in front of him is his soulmate. He feels tears cloud his eyes so he looks away to play off wiping them away before looking back at Roman with pity in his expression. This is exactly what Virgil was afraid of, having his soulmate also experience the darkness that clouds him every day he wakes up.

"Wow… They- I- I don't know what to say… What are you gonna do when you meet them?" Virgil glances at Roman, pity still in his eyes. Roman let out a sigh but smiled, "I'm gonna give them the biggest hug they've ever received and reassure them that I'm always gonna be with them and that they'll never have to feel alone all the time ever again." Roman looked at Virgil with a smile. But, before he could notice the tear that fell from the other's eye, a loud shrill of their school bell rang throughout the courtyard, signaling the start of their next class.

"Talk about first impressions," Roman said with a chuckle, standing up. "Well, see you around, Virgil. I got a few more 'Hi, I'm Roman' to do," he continued, leaving Virgil on the bench.

~*~*~

I hear my converse squeak as I walk through the hallway. There are people around me, but they're all just silhouettes of the same familiar darkness. I'm walking to what seems to be the cafeteria. I sit down and grab my lunch from my bag. A few minutes pass, two figures sit in front of me. There's something familiar about them despite being two black silhouettes.

"Hey, kiddo! You alright?"

Patton?

"I heard there were new students," Logan?

Wait. Am I…

"Oh yeah! They're twins!"

Oh.

"I have first period with one of them. He's really nice. Oh! Hey! Roman! Over here!"

Before I could look over to… me…

Darkness. Again.

I hear muffled voices. Too muffled to be recognized.

I stay in darkness for what felt like hours before I get surrounded by light.

Too bright.

There's a silhouette in front of me. It doesn't have any facial features but I can feel it stare at me. Slowly, the light around me doesn't feel too bright anymore. It feels… warm and comforting. Similar to the feeling I have in my chest, along with a squeezing feeling. I feel tears cloud my eyes, but I feel happy, somehow?

I feel someone embrace me. I look up to see the silhouette. Its arms around me, like it's protecting me. I feel secure. I feel loved.

I hug back, breaking down in its arms.

"You don't have to be alone anymore"

I hear my own voice. I break down sobbing, seeking more of the silhouette's warmth.

I stopped sobbing after a while but remained in the silhouette's arms for what felt like hours.

"You gotta wake him up!" I heard a distant voice say in a hushed tone.

"No, he hasn't slept like this since who knows when… Something must've happened yesterday..."

I feel myself slowly drifting from where I was standing.

"We can just tell the school he's sick"

"On the second day?"

I feel someone caress my cheek.

"You can stay too if you want"

"Hey, sweetie," Roman opens his eyes to his mom in front of him.

"What's going on? Why are you all in our room?" Roman asks as he sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He eyes Remus standing in front of their mama. Their mom is sitting on the edge of Roman's bed, facing him.

"Well, sweetie. You see, you just had a full night's sleep," their mom explained.

"You looked so peaceful too," their mama added with a smile. Roman stopped to let the events of his dream last night come back to him.

"Roman, is everything ok?" Their mama walked over to him, tucking a few strands of his hair behind his ear. "Yeah… Yeah, I'm okay!" He flashed a smile to his moms, meaning what he said.

~*~*~

Roman hadn't been able to sit still ever since he got to school. 'Late', he should add. Apparently, he overslept while Remus and their moms decide whether to wake him up or not.

When they got to school in the middle of first period, they were excused because their moms were there to explain. With a slightly bent truth, of course.

Roman had to wait three(and a half) classes to talk to Virgil. They didn't have any classes together, to which Roman was bummed to find out. When the bell rang, signaling their lunch break, Roman hurriedly headed to the cafeteria. When he got there, he spotted Virgil just about to sit down at their usual table.

"Uhh. Virgil? Can I talk to you for a sec?" Roman felt awkward, to say the least.

"Uhm. Sure," Virgil replied, standing up. Roman led them under a tree in the courtyard, away from other students. They stayed silent for a while before Virgil spoke up, "So… what'd you wanted to talk about?"

Roman just stared at Virgil for a few moments, examining him, before enveloping him in a tight hug. Virgil stood frozen for a while, surprised at the gesture. He slowly placed his hands on Roman's back, still confused at the sudden affection.

"You're not alone anymore, Pumpkin," Roman said in a gentle voice, cradling the other's head. Virgil froze when he heard the nickname. His expression then softens and hugs Roman tighter, burying his face on the taller male’s shoulder.

"How did you find out?" Roman heard, slightly muffled by his jacket. "Had a dream about yesterday," Roman simply stated, not elaborating more. "What about you? You said you had a clue. Oh! That rhymed,"

They both laughed.

"I have first period with Remus and I recognized him right away," Virgil replied, his face still buried on Roman's shoulder. "Oh, I'm so sorry you have to deal with him," Roman chuckled.

"No, I'm sorry you had to deal with him your entire life,"

"Well, we're not alone anymore now, are we? Roman asked with a serious tone. Virgil parted a few inches from Roman, still holding on to him. He smiled as he looked up at Roman, "No, we're not."

This might be the last one I'll do for AU august but I'm also deciding if I should go back to the prompts I missed when I was sick hmm

I wish I included Remus more in this but it was already 3k words and thats the longest I've ever written so maybe its for the best XD

[savoies]

Cliches - Carter Hart.

Carter Hart x Reader.

Summary: Carter is the popular guy while Y/N is just the girl who keeps to herself. She starts tutoring him and they rekindle a friendship that they used to have which leads to even more after learning to trust each other again.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warning: maybe a bad word or two and hints of a bad home life.

A/N: Before anyone comes at me, yes this is like a walk to remember but with my ideas and a different take on that. But it does have the aspect of two opposites attracting. I really hope you guys like it.

Carter Hart was the residential popular boy at Lakeview High. Everyone knew him and he tried to know everyone. Carter was big on meeting new people and starting conversations wherever he was. He wasn't popular for being rude, being the football captain, or dating the head cheerleader. Carter was actually popular for being nice. Yes he did have a spot on the football team but he didn't think he was better than anyone else and treated everyone the same.

Y/N was the residential shy girl. She kept to herself and her life motto was the less social interactions the better. Y/N didn't perceive to be rude she just didn't like to put her walls down for people that would just walk away. She felt as though keeping to herself was the best option. She did put her walls down for her best friend but he just walked away after they both went into highschool.

Carter and Y/N had their fair share of interactions throughout highschool. But during their entire childhood they were glued to the hip. Carter was the only person that had seen Y/N be herself yet when they went into highschool that all changed. Carter joined the football team saying that he would still have enough time for his best friend. But after the first week Y/N was by herself and Carter was mostly with his new friends that included football players and cheerleaders.

Carter tried talking to Y/N, ok maybe not having a full blown conversation but sending a simple hello her way. But every time he tried she would walk the other way. She didn't want to deal with him. If he had ignored her all of freshman year, she could ignore a simple hello. As she walked to her english class she took a seat towards the middle where she could blend in. There was about ten minutes before class started so she buried her head in a book to avoid conversation. What brought back her attention though was Carter walking in with his friends laughing loudly. Y/N looked up and they made eye contact for a second. She smiled at him shyly and put her book away as the teacher walked in. 

Carter was failing english badly. If he didn't show up to class everyday he probably would've had a better grade than now. He needed to raise it up to play football or his spot would be given to someone else who had better grades. If he let it go down one bit more, then his whole football journey was over. Now he didn't want that and his teacher had talked to him about getting a tutor. Now Carter knew that getting a tutor probably meant that he would get stuck with some dude that only cared about homework. That is why he groaned at the idea but if it was supposed to help him so he was supposed to say yes right.

As class ended Carter headed up to the teachers desk as you packed up your stuff. You noticed that they were talking so you decided to pack up a bit quicker to leave and give them privacy. But as soon as you were gonna walk out the door your teacher called you.

“Y/N could you come here for a second please.” you put a smile on your face and headed back inside. “Mr. Hart here is in desperate need of an english tutor and I would like you to help him.” Those were the last words both of you guys wanted your teacher to say. Both of you interrupted them with banter.

“Why me, there're so many people in the class.” you said.

“Yeah i don't think that is gonna work out.” Carter said. It was like he was reading your mind.

“Well that's the only solution and there will be no further discussion exchange numbers and start as soon as possible.” your teacher said and pushed you out of their classroom. Little did Carter know that you never had the guts to erase his number.

“Here plug in your phone and i'll text you when i'm free.” Carter said, handing you his phone. Glad to know that he didnt save your phone number. You were kind of hurt but it didn't really matter right. It's not like you were going to call him. 

“Look Y/N, i'm sorr--.” before he could end his sentence and go on giving an apology you stopped him because right now you didnt want Carter’s pity. “I'm just helping you pass, I'm not trying to reconcile.” you said as you headed to the last place you wanted to go, home.

Today was the day that you were going to have your first tutoring session with Carter. You weren't too thrilled to say the least. But anything to get you out of your house for a bit. It was after school and you headed to the library to wait for Carter. You sat down at the table and waited for Carter. You thought maybe he would arrive in twenty minutes but after forty minutes of waiting you were getting irritated. He didn't even have the audacity of sending you a text that he was gonna be late. After one hour of waiting you decided that he had wasted enough of your time and you decided to pack up. That's when Carter came rushing in.

“Oh gosh Y/N, i know i'm sorry for making you wait but Coach decided to have an emergency meeting, i'm so sorry. Im here now.” Carter said exasperated.

“You could've at least sent a text.” you suggested.

“Coach doesnt let us use our phones.” Carter said hopeful that maybe you would stay cause he really didn't want to mess this up on the first day. You decided that he seemed like he was being honest so you shrugged your backpack off and took out the textbooks. After the next two hours of him studying his butt off, you decided it was time to wrap it up.

“Same time tomorrow and don't be late.” you said walking out into the now dark sky.

The next day Carter asked you to meet him in a cafe. You weren't sure why but you decided that a nice warm drink didn't sound too bad. So you headed over there after school and set up everything. After everything was laid out you thought it was the perfect time to order a drink before Carter got there. You ordered your usual hot beverage and were about to pay when Carter came up from behind you and told the barista “Oh and one cappuccino, thanks” he said, handing her his card. “Thanks you didn't have to do that.” Y/N smiled shyly at Carter. Maybe tutoring him wasn't going to be too bad.

“No problem, now where did we leave off on yesterday?”Carter said, actually sounding like he was excited to learn. After both of you guys got your drinks, there was less studying involved and more talking. Carter started talking to you about football and you liked how his eyes lit up when he talked about the subject. About one hour of just talking you decided that it was time to get back to studying  before it got too late. Before leaving the cafe, Y/N pulled out her favorite book out of her backpack. “Here I thought you might enjoy this, it's one of my favorites.”

“Thanks, I'll let you know when I finish it. Carter said, grabbing the book from the girl and their hands slightly brushing. 

A few days later you were in bed ready to go to sleep when your phone started ringing. You thought it was probably a unknown number so you let it ring, but after four rings and no signs of hanging up you decided to pick up.

“Hello” you said, sleepiness evident in your voice.

“Did I wake you up, sorry, I just wanted to let you know that I finished the book.” Carter's giddy voice was heard on the other side of the phone. His voice though had no sleep evident in it whatsoever.

“Look Carter, I don't want to sound rude but why couldn't you just wait till tomorrow to tell me, it's 12am?’ you asked him questionaly. The truth one he couldn't sleep all night, thinking about how finally things with you guys could be fixed. And he just wanted to hear your voice. 

“It was a really good book and i had to tell you, i'll see you tomorrow then.” he said hanging up the phone knowing that it was a bad time to call you but glad that you picked up. He took it as a sign that maybe your friendship could be restored.

The next day you headed to school and stopped at your locker to drop some stuff off. When you were pulling stuff out of your backpack. Carter approached from behind you. “Heres your book back” Carter spoke up.

“Shit Carter, you scared me.” you said as your notebook fell to the ground. 

“Sorry, just wondering if we were gonna meet up later.” Carter cluelessly asked.

“Well yeah, that's basically the agreement.” Y/N stated, kind of annoyed because he knew that they were supposed to meet mostly everyday due to the teachers orders. 

She got to the cafe where she sat at the same table as last time. As she waited for Carter she took everything out . The bell above the door rang signaling the arrival of someone, and it was Carter. They exchanged their hellos and got to tutoring. After what seemed like forever of studying, Carter decided to bring up a question that seemed to be bothering him all day. “So do you have a problem tutoring me or what, cause let me just say i'm not the biggest fan of this either.”

“What do you think Carter, that I think this is a fun way to spend my time, tutoring you.” giving the word you a deeper meaning. Carter was confused on what she meant.

“You really don't remember, you pretended I didn't exist.” the girl said, feeling more vulnerable than ever. 

“ You are the one who's always mad at me, you stopped talking to me, freshman year.” Carter told her, saying it in a way saying it was her fault.

"Really, on the first day of school you didn't see me down the hallway and then turn the other way.”  Y/N said pleadingly. At this point it seemed that they were competing seeing who could say it in the most hurtful way possible. 

“I didn't know what to say.” Carter said looking down.

“ How about hey Y/N, how's it going?” she said spitting it out a bit more harshly than she meant to. She couldn't take this right now, so she packed up her bag and headed out the door. Carter didn't really process what was going on until the ding  above the door signaled that she really had left. 

When you got home you heard the sound of yelling, crying, and the shattering of glass. You decided that the best option right now was just to lock yourself in your room and with your thoughts. You went to sleep listening to music and the next day you got ready for school.

As you were at your locker Carter appeared again. He saw the way that you looked tired and drained and even though you weren't on the best terms decided to ask you how you felt. “Hey, you ok?” he asked concerned. 

“No offense but I really don't want to talk about my personal life with my ex best friend.” you looked at him and shrugged your shoulders. Carter understood so he wasn't mad about it. 

“No tutoring today right? I'll see you in a couple days then.” he said waving goodbye. Even though you didn't really appreciate tutoring Carter you didn't really want to go home so you were kind of bummed out that there wasn't tutoring today.

 Two days later there you were at the same table with the same stuff laid out in front of you. Again waiting for Carter. He walked in and took a seat. “Before we start I just wanted to make sure that you're ok.” he said, looking concerned.

A slight blush appeared on your cheeks because even though he asked you the same question two days ago he was still concerned. “Like I said before, I don't really want to talk to my ex best friend about this.”

“Well then don't think about me as your ex best friend, think about me as your therapist.” you laughed but when he didn't laugh back you knew that he was serious. “Oh you're being serious.

“Yeah I am, now tell me what's wrong.” he said, getting all serious but it didn't last long because both of you burst out laughing. You liked this, just being able to laugh with him again. Like everything was back to normal. But everything wasn’t back to normal and it probably wouldn't but in the end you were having a good time.

After that day you tutoring Carter had become less of a task and more of something that you enjoyed. It had become less stressful and you actually felt like you guys had a good chance of repairing your friendship. Maybe even having the possibility of bringing it back to how it was before. Now that's the way you felt, but you weren't sure how Carter felt. Maybe for him this was just tutoring.

Now Carter saw that maybe he was slowly breaking down your walls again. He was slowly seeing the person you were in middle school again. He liked that. But he thought that maybe you just thought that this was something you felt obligated to do and nothing else.

The next day at school Carter was talking to his friends against their lockers. You were walking towards your locker when you heard the topic of conversation. Now you weren't trying to be all up in their business and invade their privacy but it seemed like they were talking about you.

“Oh look it's your little girlfriend, you're not gonna say hi.” one of the cheerleaders said in a snarky voice. All his “friends”  around him laughed at the girl's comment. 

 Carter thought that maybe if he went along with it, they would stop. “She isn't my type anyways, you know that all she is to me is my tutor so I can pass English and still be on the football team.” 

After Carter said that you knew that you should've said no to tutoring him and just told the teacher that you were too busy. “Im so stupid, i should’ve let him fail so he could see what its like to lose something just how I lost my best friend” you told youself as you wiped a tear with your sweater sleeve.

Well now you could tell that it seemed Carter didn't feel the same about your friendship finally getting a bit better or becoming reconciled. But deep down Carter knew that everytime he saw you his face would light up and that he was slowly falling hard for you. Yet he couldn't let his friends know because he knew that if they did find out they would just tease you and he didn't want that because you didn't deserve it.

taglist: @hartsyhart (thanks for all the help kan), @patty-cake-nolan (thanks for helping me with the title), @mitch-slap (thanks for all the support always), @summerko8, @barrettshayton, @leafsxhockeywrxtes​, @segsation​, & @idkwhyimhere19​.

[theaspers]

Zara! I just got back from a short trip. In a perpetual state of i want to do fuck all 😑 but I really should focus n do things. How are u? Anything random u want to share? My face n upper body r quite sunburnt lol so I've been a hermit trying to recover 😂 thanks for the well wishes on the job hunting. My mood on that journey is like ⬆️↗️➡️↘️⬇️↙️⬅️↖️🤣

I revisited hades after u replied! N spoilers: I got past elysium n then died to the Chambers (items got so expensive n it's multiple pathways to find cerb's treat lol n the poison...) butttttt I came back like next run n got hades to like 1/3 of his health and then died!!!! I'm pretty chuffed tho. I know now heueueue. And I MET THAN! GORGEOUS SOFT DEATH BOI. His voice man 🥰 BTW r zag n than half brothers that share hades as their father? But he cute that ain't no lie. I um am assuming u finished at least one complete run so I hope I ain't spoiling anything? I'm really sorry if I did. Third fury sister met too heueu.

Lololol I'm not really shitting on luci's yukata haha. Tbh I've been into kpop n Korean shows for yearsssss so I feel like nothing really fazes me too much? It's funny seeing ppl shit on Satan so much but I'm like honestly it doesn't hurt my eyes that badly. N his Pepsi yukata looks pre good. Not the worst by a looooooongggg shot. I hope the devs fix up the wonkiness of obey me cuz otherwise they will keep losing players n awesome content creators. V understandable tho. That's also why I probably won't play om and genshin cuz gacha, too stressful n it's kinda nice just evolving the charas by headcanons n imagination alone. The lore is v noice tho. Have u read the genshin manga?

Hahaha it's a good thing I thought of u. The fic does have some grammatical errors (I went back to read it again hehe) but it's just so soft n realistic to me that I thought u might like it. Probably ooc for Thea tho sorry. It's alright if u never get to it or don't like it!

Aww my ask got ate up huh. I sent it in the morning after u recommended achilles to me. It just said that the song is so fucking good. So cathartic n would've been such a help several yrs ago when I was going thru some shit. I love the lyrics, the sound...it's very soothing n I love it a lot. I hope to find more English songs that have such beautiful n haunting lyrics. I'm trying not to make the ask too long so I've dumbed the original ask down a lot. It's going to be long anyways 🙃

I asked about any personal hcs u wanted to share? Mine were that I would call Lucifer: Luce Luce or Luci haha. N I would greet him by saying Luci....fer after making eye contact with his brothers above his shoulder but he would be glaring at me anyways. Ever perceptive Luci. I would like to mess around Belphie by calling him Moo Moo 🤭 I hc that once close, I would go around the dining table every morning n give each bro some individual loving. Some nuzzles, cheek kiss ya know n get to Belphie like wut up moo moo? Lplolol thanks for letting me ramble haha this is sort of embarrassing. Can u tell my love language is physical touch 💖

Haha no worries about ur messy blog tho. I love the stuff u reblog. Some legit quality content n it's so amusing seeing the juxtaposition between the sfw n the NSFW. Ur duality zara never fails to make me laugh. If u want u can guess my height. What vibes do I give off? I have a feeling my answer will make u v happy ☺️ ALSO DUDE UR FIRST LANG AIN'T ENGLISH? WAT IS THIS BLASPHEMY? THAT'S SO FUCKIN IMPRESSIVE. KUDOS TO U SON. Wow. damn. U. R. So. Cool. 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ Ahem finally much love to Luci anon. Better reinstate their rightful emojis hehe. Thanks for letting me visit again 💙 - (not a) worker lurker

long answer so under a cut hehe.

hey there!! sorry i took so long to reply shsjs but anw hope you’ve been doing well. i have been doing alright too? i guess? lol i have no idea. i’m simply just vibing. i hope the sunburn’s not bothering u as much anymore though! and still wishing you lots of luck on the job hunting front!

oooh, glad to hear that you’ve made some progress on hades! you’re not spoiling anything at all so don’t worry hehe. i wish you luck on your future runs, you can do it!! (side note: those stupid rats. i swear. i hate them so much 😭) AHH THAN!! isn’t he just so precious? 🥺 like i realise he is death but he’s so. soft 🥺 and no!! afaik they’re not related lol i think nyx might have just. made him and hypnos? they grew up together tho, i think. oooh, love the fury sisters. they’re very interesting hehe. definitely missed playing the game but i’m still not in the mood to play it unfortunately. i miss zag tho. and hypnos. ugh one day i’ll pick it back up again 🥺😭

shdjd same tho. and ur right. after seeing all the kpop idol outfits, nothing fazes me anymore. plus i don’t think their outfits are the worst thing ever tbh :’) ugh, i agree. the main route itself is getting harder to play and the non-stop events are tiring. i want to hope that they slow down a lil bit but idk. kinda doubt they will. and the obm gacha rate is terrible but at the end of the day, it is gacha, right? :’) genshin is horrible gacha wise but there’s always a lot to do, and places to explore. plus they’re still updating the game so i’m sure it’ll remain relevant for a little while longer. i haven’t read the manga fully but i have seen bits and pieces, and some screenshots. diluc and kaeya look amazing in them 😭

oof yeah, i still love listening to achilles come down. it’s so good!! definitely very cathartic. i’m glad you enjoy it too. 🥰

ahaha, ngl i just always call him luci tbh. i know he probably doesn’t like it. but like lucifer is just a mouthful to say sometimes hehe i just know he’ll get his revenge on u for calling him that tho. belphie moo moo shdjd that’s kinda cute?? hmm. i don’t think i have nicknames for them tbh? :0 just kinda. shorten their names lol. and there’s nothing wrong with having physical touch as ur love language!! hehe i think that’s cute. i’m sure they enjoy the show of affection anw. i think i would just be way too shy to do anything like that tho :’)

ik people tell me they enjoy the messiness but sometimes i scroll through and get so embarrassed 😭 like i would like to not be perceived, please and thank u. but i’m glad that u enjoy my blog, regardless 😭 your height? :0 oof that’s a bit tough. you don’t radiate short ppl energy. wanna say ur probably average height shdkd and no, that’s definitely not me projecting my own height onto other people :’)

yeah, english isn’t my first language shdjd 😭 but i have been speaking/learning it for a while now. doesn’t matter tho, i still makes mistakes occasionally ahdjd but i’ve stopped caring lolol luci anon has yet to pop up again but it’s okay hehe they’ll get back their rights eventually hehe oh, and thank you for dropping by!! much love 💖💖💖

[failedprototype]

Hm...I don't know if this is just a beating a dead horse proverbial moment but I wanted to say something about the US education system and gifted children for a while. Because there is a take I think I haven't seen yet but if someone has better words for it let me know.

When I'm typing this just so you know I was not gifted at all. As and Bs were expected not celebrated at home. Though I did make people mad enough as a kid that I had to get an placed in special education classes.

One of my sisters however, was a gifted kid. Unlike me she actually figured out things way faster, including the fact that grades are also determined by your teaching audience not just your academic skill. She tried very hard to point this out to me. I did not listen and instead thought it was stupid. Because arnt we at school to learn about different things? So if I'm arguing a point it should be well written but not docked for a different opinion. A lot of "gifted kids" in my class were furious at the fact the class idiot like myself would pull out As and Bs and would assume I cheated or that I had extra help. Which was bullshit instead I got extra dumb assignments including reading human faces and reading about and repeating why people are behaving a certain way. Although identifying things helped socially the main help that sorta worked depended on the teacher giving me my damn meds. Because focusing is hard as hell for me. I know I had to work way harder than other kids to get what I wanted. A lot of regular kids could just do the thing half assed and it weirded me out how casual they were about any below C grades without getting in trouble.

And did I get that medication all the time? NO. Instead sometimes the secretary would just call me in with a smart girl and give her my meds occasionally with me present. I was so pissed. I even argued with that girl later. And she had the nerve to say "well they help me study". My name was on the damn bottle and here this smart kid was bragging about taking meds her aunt gave her to help her be smart. I know my mom tried to put a stop to this as soon as I told her. This kind of behavior happened a lot sadly. Even with help to stop this people were frustrating, you couldn't take your eyes off the damn pill bottle. By the time middle school came around and I figured out caffeine did the trick okay too and after talking with the doctor about it I stopped taking medicine for myself. Because it was more stressful dealing with so called smart assholes taking my meds because they outright thought it was dumb that I who needed the damn medicine did not deserve it when they thought it would serve them better to further themselves.

This doesn't even touch on the fact that when I made anyone angry some teachers would make me take twice the dosage too. I would get sick from it but to the teacher me standing still was a small price for me getting sick in class. But maybe that's for another post.

But yeah I know other american tumblrs love talking about being so gifted in school. I remember the shit people talked about behind my back because people thought I was dumb. And more importantly the things the so called intelligent would excuse to do in order to get ahead. So I would like to say some of you have never grow out of being absolute assholes to people you perceive as lesser than you and it still shows.

[old-long-john]

(1/8)Oh my good golly gosh darn, Laura!!!! I would drown in your words if I could. That bit from your unfinished fic, I'm in awe. I am completely smitten with your interpretation of Silver. I wish I could articulate a response to your answers besides !!!!! (Also you're a saint for humoring me.) I could listen and talk to you about John Silver all day. You touched on some really good points in previous answers that I didn't acknowledge, so I'd like to address some of them now because wow.

You do such a good job unpacking the minutiae in each scene, but then I feel the need to further explicate your meta because you bring up so many brilliant points. 1.“Funny that Silver’s learnt so much shit from Flint, except that allowing yourself to be blinded to rationality and truths is a ruinous mistake.” God this ties in so well to our discussion of Silver believing his own bullshit. It’s almost as though he learned the wrong lesson from Flint and became more accomplished at lying to himself as the story goes on. Or perhaps those untruths just kept piling up. 

So very true. Honestly, I think so much of it is due to Silver letting himself get too comfortable in the little bubble he’d created for himself. And I feel so awful for him, because it was always going to have to pop in the end. He’s always been so good at reading people and at manipulating situations for his own gain, and he seemed to be incredibly honest with himself (and others) about his own failings and limitations, and those things are fine when nobody depends on you and you don’t depend on anybody else. But as soon as he developed loyalties and relationships, and with them wants and needs that he couldn’t provide for himself alone (love and friendship and respect), it suddenly wasn’t very convenient to be honest with himself about his own shortcomings or the things which the only two members of the John Silver’s People Club would value as more important than him. Because I completely believe he valued(/still values?) them more than anything else in the entire world. It’s such a horrible imbalance to face honestly and accept.

2.“Not much slips by Flint” lmao except a big cache full of gems on his own damn ship. Sorry I just had to bring that up. I feel like that was one of those leaps of faith the show expects us to take, and I just can’t. I still can’t believe Flint didn’t know the cache was on board the Walrus.

Mm, I know what you mean. Though I can make it work in my own head. Flint is such a micro-manager, but he has been far more relaxed this season in general. I mean, he went off on his little Fortress B&B break with Eleanor and trusted Silver to make everything work in his absence, with no plan given. But that’s part of the problem. Even if Silver was wrong about Flint’s investment in their friendship, and in his assertion that it was only a convenience insofar as it helped him to use Silver to have things done his way…Flint kind of still did that, a little bit. Flint loves him, I have no doubt, but he put so much faith in the idea that Silver would see his way as right and fall in line that it made him blind to the daylight that was growing between them. He was still doing it on that damn island when he was talking to Dooley. I can buy that he didn’t know the chest was on board, because he truly hadn’t made room in his head for the possibility that Silver would go against him in that way. So he let his plan fall into place, as his plans always fell into place with Silver by his side, without noticing that Silver wasn’t with him in the way he thought. Poor Flint. Like we said, speaking of masters of blinding oneself to dangerous truths…

3.“I wonder though how much he was motivated by pride in that moment, or anger, or even just vulnerability.” Honestly Laura just let me rEST. You have a Flint-like way of cutting straight to the heart of a scene or action. We (you) covered Silver’s vulnerability (god so vulnerable–remember when he left the hilltop when Flint asked about his past? He sounded SO young and broken as he went gosh. I’m pretty emotional over his emotions.) but I really want to address the others. Because I actually had some thoughts concerning his pride. He always made a point to set himself apart from the men and claim freedom from Flint’s influence (“You will account for me;” “I don’t believe in him”). I think once there was a break in their relationship (once daylight could seep between them) all Billy’s and Hands’s warnings fueled his determination perhaps to disprove them or maybe just to prove to himself that he can still hold his own with Flint and not be moved, even to the point of ignoring logic (John, why :’( ). And I’m thinking these conflicting, complex emotions feed into each other? Like maybe the anger also stems from the vulnerability, the perceived betrayal–is a reaction to being hurt. Anger is an easy emotion, and to someone who is new to emotions like Silver, I imagine it’s simpler to embrace. I mean, remember his face at the end of the episode? He’s so in love (romantic, platonic, whatever I don’t care); he’s in awe of this thing between them. This is his first (at least that we see) important relationship. The feelings are mutual, that’s what he says, and for him to feel like Flint broke his first foray into attachment, of course he’s going to be hurt. 

I suddenly have that scene from Pride and Prejudice playing in the back of my mind and it’s the worst. (”Perhaps these offences might have been overlooked had not your pride been hurt by my honesty…”, “My pride?”, “…in admitting scruples about our relationship…”, “…from the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realise that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.” *cue sexual tension so thick you could spread it on toast*) Oh, pride. You know, come to think of it, we were told right at the beginning of the episode that pride should not be a thing that ought to come between them at this point, and I imagine that wasn’t accidental. 

I think you’re completely right about the influence of Billy and Hands’s words. However that pride is framed (either being for Silver’s own peace of mind, or to prove the point to them), having that ‘mistake’ seen by them, and commented on constantly, must have had some effect on his impulse to prove he could even the score and show just how very invulnerable he really was to Flint. I think he’s probably almost as angry with them for pointing it out and making it ‘a thing’ as he is with Flint for giving rise to it. I’ve wondered a lot, actually, just how this season would have gone without the corrupting influence of Hands. He really has been an evil little snake, whispering the things that should only ever have been thought by Silver, not said aloud. I suppose that was his purpose really. To give voice to those things that we as the audience needed to hear, but which wouldn’t normally be spoken. He’s almost been as much a narrative device to show Silver’s state of mind as those S3 dreams were for Flint. 

What you say about Silver’s complex emotions feeding into easier ones, like anger, sounds exactly right too. I’ve been kind of viewing Silver as a bit of a teenager in a lot of respects this season, and that fits in with that view. Flint was totally his first foray into attachment, yeah, and Silver does definitely love him in his way - he’s basically experiencing his first break up, and it’s a brutal, world-shattering one. He’s so inexperienced with feelings (seemingly deliberately, as one of those suddenly inconvenient lines of defence - fuck do I empathise with him there), and so like a teenager his reaction to big feelings that he doesn’t know how to quantify or cope with is to boil them down to easier ones, like anger and hurt, and to express them through spite and cruelty and self-pity. He’s a goddamn mess, but I don’t think he’d know how to stop everything from spiralling, even if he wanted to. Flint might though, if he’d only stop raging long enough to listen to him. 

(And don’t even get me started on Luke Arnold and his freakish ability to de-age himself by about 10 years in the blink of an eye. He’s looked and sounded so young several times this season, and every single time it’s broken me. I could write a whole essay just on that.)

One final thought I had regarding the narrative of Flint and Silver’s relationship is that though they frame it as the war vs Madi, as soon as Flint took the cache, the conflict became him vs Madi. And the fandom had some compelling arguments that the writers weren’t going to be that predictable, but they really were and. That’s probably the most disappointing. Like I didn’t find the episode disappointing but this season as a whole, while not bad, has not been up to parr. Anyway sorry for the incoherent jumble. But I truly love how you process Silver. 

I’ve had this thought too. All of last week I was worrying that there would be no rug-pull and that their division really would be as simple as it seemed, and I was ready to be so disappointed by that…but then episode 9 was so damn good that I kind of forgot to be annoyed. And I still can’t quite find it in me to pick holes yet. I don’t know how it will all stand up to rewatches, but I agree with you, I think. In comparison to most tv, S4 has still been something special (in my eyes), but there have definitely been things that seemed a little rushed or contrived. I suppose the writers felt that they didn’t have enough story left for two more seasons, but what they had was still too much for just one. Perhaps a final season of 12 or 15 episodes would have worked a little better, and given all the storylines and relationships a little more space to breathe. As it stands though, the thing I’ve always loved most about this show is the characters, and I think for the most part they’ve been as well written and thoughtfully developed this season as in the past three, so I’m willing to overlook a few more bumps in the storytelling than normal. And I’m just so glad that the pieces have finally fallen into place for everyone else to ‘see’ Silver again too, because it’s started to feel a little lonely in the John Silver Defence Squad lately. 

This got ENORMOUS. But I’ve had fun answering it! I am not ready to let these pirates go. :( I think they’re going to live in my head for a very, very long time. (I’m at least 40% John Silver at this point. Maybe more.) Someone carve ‘Know no shame’ on my tombstone, please.

[itsclydebitches]

She's the kind to be like "i'll kill for you", it's all fun and games until she actually means and/or does it. I'm assuming it's the same if not similar in the books? it's just so annoying to see a character treat everyone, including the man she is supposed to be in love with like shit and have it just be "well that just makes her a good mum" like idk this kind of devotion isn't healthy for her or Ciri either.

I read a lot of posts all over talking about yen and why people do and don't like her and it's all "you have to get past the cold rude arrogant outside to learn deep down she does care", or there was this one said people take what she says as who she is over what she does, as if she isn't saying AND doing terrible things, but there was this other one that was "actions don't define you as a person" that was a fucking ride to read through.

Anyway I'm just kinda miffed cause I went in to this trying really hard and wanting to like yen but she's so unlikable it's crazy. Maybe if her first few scenes weren't her being rude to Geralt for no real reason (and that snark about him and amnesia like BRO??) there wouldve been something to build off? Idkkkk

tysm for letting me talk about this! there's still so much within the series to look at and I adore it. apart from some things lmao BUT as with everything, there'll be bits you really just hate I guess.

You kidding? I love chatting about all this! XD

From what I've read myself and encountered elsewhere (I've gotten a lot of snippets from the later books as fans post excerpts for various arguments) Yen is a bit more complex in the novels than she's presented in TW3, especially depending on which dialogue options you choose. I mean, it's eight books. There are absolutely moments where I've gone, "Oh yeah, that's cute/sensible/romantic/heroic/etc." of her. She'd have to be a pretty static character to have that much content and not produce those reactions at least some of the time. That being said... she's definitely too similar in the books for my taste. Really, Yen was going to be an issue for me from the start, just given how her and Geralt's meeting goes in "The Last Wish." Her cruelty, brainwashing, and nearly getting him killed aside - because let's be real, an enemies to lovers-esque dynamic can be great - the wish itself always tainted their interactions for me. Yeah, yeah, I understand the theme of Geralt choosing his family regardless of what destiny or magic might say about it... but that doesn't erase that they are ambiguously bound by some kind of magic. We can read Yen's "You've condemned yourself to me" as just a lack of self-confidence, Geralt's love remaining a true thing no matter what any genies might have to say about it, but I personally can't ignore the very real, in-world, magical influence here. Every time the books discuss how often they've split, cheated on each other, fought, betrayed... but deep down they were still meant for one another, I'm thinking, "Are they? Or is that just the magical wish keeping two incompatible people tethered?" We can read them finding joy in one another despite the magic as something beautiful, or something tragic because what other choice did they have? Given how central that rocky relationship is to our protagonist's characterization and how awful Yen can be in general, yeah, she's still an acquired taste lol. She does get better later on, but how better I think depends on how you perceive her attitude at the start. Idk if you're into My Hero Academia or not, but I often compare her to Bakugo. Those who were already inclined to excuse his behavior hail the amazing growth he undergoes; those who couldn't stand him from the start (me) find the comparative improvement to still equal a pretty unlikable person. They're both undoubtedly better... but if you're starting that low, "better" won't necessarily be enough.

Oof yeah, I've seen those threads lol. One of my favorites was a discussion about whether Yen was a "bitch" or not (it also doesn't help when conversations about her character devolve into generic accusations of misogyny) and there was a response to the effect of, "Just because she's cold, judgmental, makes cruel remarks, and doesn't listen to Geralt doesn't mean..." and it's like okay, so we're just supposed to ignore all those traits - bypass them - to reach a "Yen is actually a kind person" reading? I have trouble with that lol. Honestly, the majority of my respect goes to those who are just in their fandom corners with their John Mulaney voice going, "Yen is a bitch and I love her SO MUCH." Like yeah!! I love lots of mean, awful, bitchy characters too!! There's no need to bend over backwards trying to prove they're actually a uwu poor baby whose every action was justified (outside of, you know, fandom joking like the "I've done nothing wrong ever in my life" meme). But yeah, I WANT to like her too! I don't enjoy being a part of a franchise where such a core, prominent character is someone I don't like spending time with. Who would want that?? So I've given her so many tries since getting into Witcher... and it just never sticks for me. I tried in the comics too only to come across a panel where Geralt dreams of Yen, but isn't sure if it was an actual dream, or a magical vision where they literally met. Vesemir asks if Yen was kind to him and when he responds that she was, he's like, "It was a dream lol." And yeah, that's the characterization! Geralt knows he didn't actually meet with Yen because the real Yen wouldn't have been that nice to him. And it's not in a funny "My real lover ALWAYS teasingly insults me as an act of kindness!" way but a much more literal, "Yeeeaaah. Yen just isn't that nice a person most of the time" and the examples we can point to when she is kind don't outweigh/erase everything else for me. In TW3 at least, she's very much the kind of person who will, completely seriously, blame you for getting amnesia. And you know the best part? She had it too! Not only that, but she actually recovers her memories earlier than Geralt and never looked for him and you also learn in the second game that she had a relationship with another guy while trying to remember who she was... so the fact that she's pissed at Geralt for going through the exact same thing (not seeking her out/relationship with Triss - only Triss was actively seducing him, so) is just wild to me.

But yeah, TW3 is a MASSIVE game that deliberately plays with different choices and perspectives. To say nothing of its "Life is hard and people need to be harder" worldbuilding. It would be a miracle if we liked every single thing in it lol. Like, Blood and Wine is probably my favorite bit of gaming ever and yet I just fundamentally disagree with CDPR's idea of a happy ending there. For both the main questline and a particular side quest the game goes, "This one is the correct choice ;)" and I'm like, "Lol not to my mind I'll take one of the 'bad' endings thanks!" Yen is just another example of that. The game clearly wants us to like her - she and Geralt are canon in the source material - but giving us the ability to decide who Geralt is means that we might just go, "Nope. Sorry. This 'correct' choice is one I'm passing by."