#but you can't tell me it doesn't seem mildly accurate

[lu-is-not-ok]

Sonya doodles, because man is now stuck in my head

[luveline]

hi jade! :) i wanted to potentially request anything with poly!marauders x reader? maybe winter themed since its december now?

you write remus, james, & sirius x reader so well that i started reading fanfic for them because of you! i love your style, keep it up lovely! <3 sending you all my love

thank you, ily!! ♡ fem!reader

James’ car idles outside of your work. 

You rush down the frosted steps despite the danger, and open the passenger door with a, “Hello,” that can't be dimmed. You could not be happier to see him in his dark-haired, light-eyed glory. Your hands shake at the sight of him alone. 

“Hello,” he says keenly. 

You climb across the handbrake to kiss him. He takes your face into two big hands, expectant, waiting for you and twice as eager. “Oh, shit, I missed you,” you say, smashed into his lips and leaning further still, “Did you have a good time? Did–” 

James rubs your cheek with his thumb, silently asking for you to slow down, and kisses you again. His lips are soft as anything, his hands a little less so, rough of his palms sliding up your cheeks to just behind your ears. He's quick and rather aggressive about it considering you're only a couple of yards from your place of work, but you don't care. 

Clearly, he missed you too. 

James breaks the kiss to hug you to him, nosing at the side of your head as he says, “I missed you too. And I had a great time. Next year, you'll come with me.” 

Your heart skips at the thought. Going home with James to visit his parents would be a dream, if only so you don't have to miss him for three weeks at a time. 

He gives you a last quick kiss and drives you home. With his suitcase still in the car and his rucksack in the footwell, you realise he's picked you up before going home, and you rub it in Sirius’ face as soon as you can. 

“He picked me,” you say, climbing out of the car, cheeks flush with the heat of having James’ hand on your thighs the entire way home. 

Sirius doesn't seem too bothered. Remus worms around him, doesn't even wait for James to get out of the car, ducking in for an awkwardly skewed but achingly affectionate hug. It's not like Remus to show his emotions in any way that could be held against him, but it's clear he trusts the three of you to never do such a thing. You wouldn't. 

“You okay?” James asks him quietly. You nearly miss it, apprehended and forced into a headlock by Sirius Black and his bad attitude. 

“No more holidays,” Remus says. 

“You look handsome anyways,” James says, “what's that about? Thriving in my absence or something?” 

Remus flushes at the suggestion —you can see it, having breathlessly escaped Sirius' cruel grasp to stand watching their reunion. He mumbles a denial and burrows deeper into James’ arms. 

Sirius is much less emotional than you or Remus, but he's in a good mood. You can tell, tucked under his happy touch. (You weren't rubbing it in that James picked you up first to be cruel, the opposite —you and Sirius love to argue. And the cool, mildly intimidating stare down thing he does gives you chills, so that's a bonus.) 

“Alright!” James says, hand on Remus’ shoulder, rucksack on his arm as he shuts and locks the driver's side door. “Let's see how you idiots have done with the decorations.” 

“Not nice,” you say. 

“But accurate,” Sirius says. 

The truth is that without James’ direction, the Christmas decorations have barely been put up. You had the common sense to erect the Christmas tree and it’s adorned with carefully draped tinsel and polished baubles, but the rest of the home is lacklustre, to say the least. You've no stockings for the electric fire, no banners, no foiled hangings or silver trappings. 

“Jesus,” James says, dropping his rucksack on the sofa. “This is sad. Where's the wooden bits? My white wooden Christmas tree? Absolutely minimal effort. I'm appalled.” 

You and Remus look at one another and shrug. “We searched. Pulled out the airing cupboard and everything, it took ages, and we still didn't find them.” 

“That's because it's up in the attic,” James says, chuckling to himself. “Idiots. Where's the stepladder?” 

And this is where Sirius’ love rears its head, his arms wrapped around James’ legs as he climbs the ladder positioned dangerously on the landing by the open stairwell. “You can't be real,” James says, swaying dangerously as he pokes around up there with a torch. “You're worried about me? You were on the roof of the shed a month ago—” 

“To get a fucking football for next door–” 

“Oh, fuck this,” James says with a sigh. Before any of you can stop him, he's leveraging himself into the attic using his upper body strength. 

You cross your arms over your chest with a smile. “That was fit.” 

“Right?” Remus murmurs. 

“Where's the fucking– Ah-hah! Alright, sweethearts, one of you come and grab this from me.” 

Sirius looks up at the creaking attic above, frowning, his eyes narrowed. “I don't trust the floor.” 

“Siri, just come and get them.” 

You build a procession line and slowly unearth the three boxes of Christmas decorations, and a box of festive linens. Sirius helps James safely down onto stable footing, while you and Remus ferry the decorations downstairs. James is the Christmas nut of the lot of you, but Remus likes what James likes, especially now he's been missing him, and so they set about decorating your home while you and Sirius argue over who's making what for dinner. James’ favourite, since he's been away so long, you argue. Pizza, Sirius decides. “Look at the state of him. You know he goes home and Euphemia spoils him half to death.” 

“Fully to death,” James says, dotting a kiss into your cheek as he passes with a sheet of snowflake window stickers. “But I was revived.” 

Sirius kisses your other cheek, and Remus shouts for you to come and see the lights, lovely!

It's nice to have everyone home. 

[virgo-mess]

Um, I would like to speak to whoever wrote this because I really do not believe Jan Valek has a bad attitude, a very sadistic nature, or a merciless taste for blood. Nothing seductive about him personality wise? Did we watch the same movie?

This is not the vibe you get from him at all! I do think this was the vibe John Carpenter intended for him to have but that's just not what translates in the film. You're all free to correct me if I'm wrong. But the only people that seem especially merciless are the hunters most specifically Jack Crow. Who admits to killing his own father without a problem. All the other hunters constantly abuse, belittle, use, and degrade women just for kicks. Was Katrina's abuse, sexual assault, and objectivcation at their hands mercy?

We get a few glimpses of Valek being slightly sadistic and merciless but it isn't for blood or without a purpose. The first thing we see him do in the film is the "attack" at the motel. I wouldn't even say that was an attack since he did it in retaliation to the hunters attacking his kin completely unprovoked while they were at their most vulnerable. And Valek seeking vengeance after that is completely understandable. In my opinion the counter attack is the only time I view him as mildly sadistic. I also don't get the sense he has a merciless taste for blood, we hardly ever see him feed on anyone.

I find it hard to believe there are still people who wholeheartedly believe Valek is the real villain in this story. When you really think about it he doesn't seem like the bad guy. He ends up being one of the few characters you feel an ounce of sympathy for in the film. You're never even given the actual crimes he committed against the church. You're only told he started an uprising. Did the writers just not know how or why uprisings begin in the first place? It kind of seems like they looked up the Peasant Rebllion in Bohemia, 1775 and said "oh let's use this and put a different year on it" without actually reading what it was about 😂.

What they do tell us is the church tried Valek for the uprising and heresy. Then the church came to the conclusion he had to be possessed, which is historically accurate. And then the church decided to perform a twisted exorcism on him. Which to me translates to relentless torture and you're given the impression it went on for a long time. The ritual that turns him was the church's last resort because the exorcism wasn't working. Presumably because Valek, shockingly, wasn't possessed to begin with 😮‍💨. He simply didn't believe in what the church was selling him or the people they were supposed to be helping anymore. And why should he?

Even with this vague back story we get, we aren't left hating Valek the way the hunters do. In fact, this back story makes you feel sympathetic for him and his cause. He wants back the one thing the church took from him but he doesn't just want it for himself. He also wants it for his kin, his children, his family. He says just as much himself. And he doesn't come off as malicious or manipulative. Just an undead man trying to make the best of the life the Catholic Church and hunters thrust upon him.

If he really were just an unhinged sadistic monster why garner any sympathy for him? I think the fact that he is able to garner any sympathy proves he's actually incredibly seductive personality wise. I really can't believe they wrote that 😂. The thigh biting scene is right there!

Anyway rant over. If you made it this far, I appreciate it. 😂

[ghostofadragon]

ok this is out of the blue but this fandom is super small so theres no one to talk to about it and also I just wanna know: do you have any thoughts on the knife scene in Batman Unburied? because I've been thinking about the podcast and that scene is one of the more stand out character moments imo because on the one hand you have Babs being noticeably scared and on edge during that part implying that despite how nonchalant she seems she (reasonably) must've been on edge like this the whole time she's been around Eddie and that her whole (more or less) cool and collected demeanor is at least in part just a brave face she puts on and on the other hand you have Eddie just straight up not getting that Babs is scared of him in that moment, instead thinking that she is worried he's contaminating evidence and only realizing she's threatened by him after being told to put down the knife thrice which implies he genuinely didn't even consider hurting Babs/Babs thinking he might hurt her an option and that's just kinda interesting imo considering he's a whole professional criminal and possibly even a murderer. aaand this implied difference in how they perceive the whole teamup situation (Babs being constantly on edge while Eddie's just having a relatively normal time mystery-solving) would also fit with how he keeps talking about them as a 'we' later while Barbara keeps telling him off that 'there is no we' (which we know can't quite be true cause earlier she kept referring to them as 'we' too as Bruce points out when they find him). But anyways...what's your thoughts on this scene or their 'team' dynamic?

hmmmm that's a good one! id have to relisten to the scene to really think about it comprehensively but from what i recall i didn't really personally interpret it as eddie straight up not realizing that barbara was afraid of him/concerned what he might do/or etc (like, after the initial misunderstanding anyway) but more that he was kind of in disbelief/maybe mildly amused and maybe also somewhat hurt by it & trying to hide it but like, in an expected way? like, 'oh yeah of course shes going to be weird about it she's A Cop and Has History With Me (Technically) why would she put any regular amount of trust in me to not be a risk with a bladed weapon and i shouldnt get my hopes up for her to not think of me that way' especially since barbara has spent like the past six(?) years basing pretty much her entire opinion of edward purely on his criminal record and specifically that he stabbed her dad With a bladed weapon so like i think its fair to say it was a little bit of a trauma moment on her part lol i definitely agree with you abt barbara being kind of obviously on edge the whole time, i can't really claim to know if this is accurate to canon or not but i like to believe that part of her unease directly stems from the fact that edward makes like, a lot more sense to her than she wants to think about. like she showed up determined to hate him and he does annoy her to some degree for sure but he is making it really hard for her to not sympathize with him and she doesnt really want to consciously confront that. i'm probably biased bc i love that kind of character dynamic but i really am a sucker for characters not wanting to confront that they are starting to enjoy being around someone who doesn't align with like, their personal image of who they are Supposed to like being around. idk i actually have quite a lot of thoughts about how barbara interacts with most of the other characters we see her with vs how she interacts with edward with respects to like, how people routinely worry about or judge the way barbara tends to do things when left to her own devices vs how (as far as i recall) most or all of edward's criticism of what shes doing comes from when shes thinking too far in the box as opposed to too far out of it. idk! they are interesting to me

[slightlysuspect]

A Twist of Fate

Hello! I've had this idea for a Star Wars story for a month now, and I've reached a point where I have to play with it a little bit. So now I am going to tell a story about the great Jedi warrior, Anakin Skywalker. In Canon, Anakin is consumed by Darth Vader, and becomes a manifestation of the Sith for the second half of his life. My story begins with a what if, and proceeds into an unpredictable alternate timeline. I can't promise you it will be good or interesting. All I can promise you is that I will enjoy writing it, which probably means very little to you. Anyways now I'm just rambling.

Edit: Upon the recent discovery of pins, I've decided to put the first post of the story at the top, so that if anyone does get mildly curious about what I'm doing here, they will at least be able to find the beginning amidst the chaos.

As I sat in the Council Chamber, I couldn't seem to shake the shadow of doubt. Too much was at stake. The Chancellor is a Sith Lord, and he needs to be destroyed. I don't disagree with that, but he has access to powers the Jedi do not. I can't lose Padme, which means I still have business with the Chancellor. Only he can save her, the Jedi have said as much themselves. So fearful of attachment that they can't see the value of having something to protect. They would sooner watch her die than allow me to be close to her. Yes. Palpatine must live. Will Master Windu kill him? Can he even beat a Sith Lord? No. Too much could go wrong. No matter what I need to be there.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

As I enter the Chancellor's office I witness the end of the fight. Master Windu has Chancellor Palpatine cornered with his lightsaber pointed at his chest. There are three other Jedi struck dead on the ground. Must've been some fight

"You are under arrest, My Lord." Windu announced.

The Chancellor glances over and sees me approaching. He quickly announces, "Anakin! I told you it would come to this. I was right. The Jedi are taking over!" Well I don't know if that's completely accurate, but this is good. Master Windu has won, and he is taking the Sith Lord alive.

Mace continues, "The oppression of the Sith will never return. You have lost."

Chancellor Palpatine seems to grow irritated from these words. "No......No......NO YOU WIL DIE!" Retorted Palpatine. He then begins shooting lighting from his hands toward Master Windu. Windu raises his lightsaber defensively to block the lightning, and begins redirecting it back at the Chancellor.

Mace grunts, "He is a traitor, Anakin!" as he struggles to defend against the onslaught of the force lightning. With each passing moment, Palpatine's face grows more scarred from the lightning being deflected back to him.

Palpatine screams, "I have the power to save the one you love! You must choose!" This is getting bad. How long can Master Windu defend against this? And if he can hold his defense will the Sith Lord kill himself?

"Don't listen to him, Anakin!" Mace says. Which is a great idea in theory, but Master Windu doesn't understand some of the more nuanced aspects of the situation. He doesn't realize how important the Chancellor's life is.

"Don't let him kill me!" the Chancellor pleaded. The scarring has left his face completely unrecognizable now. He seems to be growing weak. "I-I-I can't hold on any longer. Ahhhhhhh . . . ahhhhhhh . . . ahhhhhhh" His lightning begins to fizzle out. "Anakin! Help me...Help me!" Finally at long last he tired himself out. This is good! He's defenseless and unable to prevent his arrest any longer.

Mace raises his lightsaber threateningly and says, "I am going to end this once and for all." This is bad. Wait, what happened to the arresting idea?

"You can't!" I say. "He must stand trial."

Mace says, "He has control of the Senate and the Courts. He is too dangerous to be kept alive." The last time I heard that line it preceded death. I feel a wave of fear.

In panic I scream, "It is not the Jedi way! He must live!" Mace only looks at me, with a look in his eyes that tells me this can only end one way.

"Please don't." Begs Palpatine.

No. No no no no no. "I need him!" I plead to Windu. He brings his lightsaber down and kills the Chancellor on the spot. "NO!" Watching the life leave his body is surreal. It stuns me for a moment, as I struggle to make peace with the reality of the situation.

Windu says, "Young Skywalker I understand this Sith Lord has been twisting your mind. Witnessing his death was likely difficult for you. Please calm down-"

I inturrupt, "Calm Down? What have you done! He wielded great power that I needed! You've killed him, and compromised my family." Ahhhhh I shouldn't have said that.

"Family?" Windu asks. "You know such things are forbidden. Don't let your emotions make you do something that you'll regret."

"What about doing something I've put off for too long?" I ask. I swiftly draw my lightsaber and take a strike at Master Windu. He easily defends, and begins laughing.

"What is the meaning of this Skywalker? Do you intend to kill me?"

That's a good question. What am I doing? But it's too late to back out now. "Let's call it a friendly spar." I respond.

Mace lets out one last laugh before saying, "I suppose I can make time for a lesson."

Ha. Enough talking I'll let the saber speak for itself. There's something so relaxing about wielding a lightsaber. The adrenaline reacts to the living force, and you begin feeling and anticipating everything around you. There's no such thing as an attack I didn't see coming, it's just a question of if I can move fast enough to respond. And I must say I have really developed a swiftness lately. Even as I battled Master Windu, I didn't feel outright challenged by him. I'm able to push consistently on the offensive, and easily parry any threatening strike he does manage to take. However, Master Obi-Wan taught me that Jedi are very good at manipulating the odds into their favor. It's important to recognize when they've created an advantage, and then play around that advantage carefully. Although as the fight continues, I begin to question if Master Windu ever had a plan beyond brute force overpowering me. His stamina seems to be fading him. Unsurprisingly I can outlast him too. I just have to wait for him to slip. "Don't tell me you're thinking of putting in the towel early master?"

Mace scoffs, "Do you really think you have a chance?" Suddenly, he found an angle. He managed to get a hold of my robotic hand, which I was using to hold my lightsaber, and he began staring at it. Something with the look in his eyes told me I had just sprung the trap, and it was right about the time I decided I should probably do something about it, that it happened. My robotic hand started cracking. But he really isn't holding onto it that hard? What is happening? The whole thing is gonna shatter...BSssssh...It's gone.

Mace retracts his lightsaber. "Make note Young Skywalker, that Sith Lord was not the only being wielding great power in the universe." He begins walking away. "While I do not approve of this 'family' of yours, I do assure you that we will do everything we can to ensure they survive their ailments. May The Force Be With You." And then he was gone. Maybe I overreacted. Master Obi-Wan tried to teach me. How proud he must be of me right now. Well at least he killed General Grievous. Wait. Grievous is dead. The Sith Lord is dead. The war is over.

Author's Note

Idk I just felt like writing. And I had a great time writing this. I don't doubt that my style is crude, but I'm really interested in my story, and I'm ultimately writing it for me. If someone actually comes and reads this mess and inexplicably comes to the conclusion that they like it too, well that's cool. Fair warning, this is going nowhere, I just don't feel like I'm done writing yet, but the chapter just seems like it's over. There's something kinda magical about the first time. Before the first time you have no idea what to expect, and you're just filled with optimism, but usually after the first time you have to start getting more realistic. I'm not sure what I'm trying to accomplish. And I am done writing.

[hyperfixation-hideout]

You reblogged something once about how sometimes rwby quotes feel out of nowhere or make not a lot of sense for the character or situation. i wondered if you have a least favorite quote for any of the characters, not to like dunk on the writing or anything just like how you said sometimes they're mildly baffling. do you have a least favorite weiss quote? i feel like most of hers are good

That's a good question, thanks for the ask! Well, the dialogue exchange I'd had in mind when reblogging that (I think? It was a long time ago lol) was the end of v6

Ruby: Is it weird that I'm a little nervous?

Yang: No, I'll believe we've made it to Atlas when I see it.

Weiss: Well, believe it.

It just felt... off? Ruby asked about nervousness, not whether they'd actually get there. It feels like Yang's line was just meant to set up Weiss' rather than respond to Ruby's. (Also idk how much time passed on that airship but wow did they get to Atlas fast)

But that's a pretty inconsequential example :P If you're asking for a least favorite Weiss quote... I've got one, and oof, it's a doozy, I'm so sorry XD I can't just share the quote and leave it without explanation, cause it's all about the context, so this may get long. It's not just confusing for the timing or phrasing, but contrary to the situation, and actively (in my opinion) detracts from Weiss' character.

Now, to preface because I know how easy it is to see the beginning of something and assume the rest (especially if the topic is similar to one you've heard ad nauseam & ad hominem): this is not about whether Ruby should've lied to Ironwood. I'm neither debating that morally nor narratively (actually, I liked the initial decision to have Ruby do that; it was an interesting character moment!). This is about this specific line in this scene with these characters and how it impacts the larger message and themes in play. I love Weiss, she's one of my faves, but this particular writing choice irks me.

Ok, with that out of the way, here's my least favorite Weiss quote:

"Everyone thinks what they're doing is right. But usually, they're just looking out for themselves. And their secrets."

This was said to Winter in a scene alone together in v7ch5. She's drawing a clear line between their discovery of Ozpin's secrets and their worry about Ironwood. Which is good! The volume had been establishing the Oz parallel really well: ch 2 when Ruby lies (and Oscar's leitmotif plays during both her lies/half-truths) and glances to Oscar the exact moment he looks away from her in disappointment, and she looks hurt; ch 3 when Yang expresses discomfort with the choice but begrudgingly goes along, asking how Oscar feels about it, and we flash back to Oscar confronting Ruby by saying "doesn't that feel like what Ozpin did to us?" and Ruby looking guilty (as Oscar's motif plays over her once again); ch 4 where Ruby confesses to Qrow she can't tell if what's best is what's right, or if she's no different from Oz (I'm ignoring Qrow's response for now or this'll be way longer lol); ch 5 with this line to Winter.

The issue I have with this line isn't the first sentence, because it's by and large accurate: most people do generally think they're doing what's right. And oftentimes they're actually hiding things to do so. For example: YOU RIGHT NOW, WEISS.

Again, this isn't about whether or not I think the lies were justified. It's about how this line makes her seem like -- and I hate to say it, but it's the most accurate word -- a hypocrite. It'd be one thing if the show addressed this and had her realize that, but it never does. It doubles down in the later scene with the Winter Maiden. Winter says that Ironwood isn't keeping secrets, not from her. Weiss replies, "Can you be sure?" To demonstrate how crucial she is to Ironwood's plan and how much he trusts her, Winter entrusts Weiss with this huge secret: that she's planned to be the next Maiden. But rather than having Weiss reflect on how honest her sister is being with her while she continues to hide the very secrets they resented Ozpin for, she smiles and says they've both carved their own path :)

Eddy in the commentary for v7 said they were going to have Weiss tell Winter the truth there (I'd have to double check for the exact wording), but that "it worked better as Winter telling secrets while Weiss kept them from her." I have to disagree. It would have worked if the narrative addressed it, like if Weiss felt bad about it, or afterwards went to talk to Ruby about it. Maybe asking if she can at least tell Winter, to have Ruby respond that Winter would just tell Ironwood, and they couldn't risk that yet. Then later (and they can still do this in v9), have Ruby feel guilty when Penny gets the powers, knowing her choice to accept them was based on incomplete information, regardless of whether or not the complete info would have changed her decision. That choice is what made Cinder target her. That power is why she died. Just like Pyrrha.

I know Pyrrha had less information about Salem than Winter did at that point (correct me if I'm wrong, it's been awhile since I've watched v3), but in essence, important truths about the dangers of being a Maiden & fighting Salem were kept from them both. After Pyrrha's death and the Fall of Beacon, I'd expect the team to want to prevent anyone else from taking on that burden without knowing the price and full risks. But Weiss didn't bat an eye when told her sister was in the same position. We don't know for certain whether Weiss told her team about the plan offscreen, or what we're supposed to assume, but because it was never brought up and never reflected on, it comes across as Weiss bitterly (I say bitterly bc of the line delivery) insulting Oz and insinuating Ironwood is likely lying to Winter and may not be trustworthy, while she herself continues to remorselessly lie to her.

In one line, it shows her opinion of Oz hasn't changed, her self-justification for lying as an exception to the rule because they're actually "doing what's right" -- the irony of that line would've been so cool to explore -- her disdain of others' secrecy, and her complete lack of self-awareness that she's making accusations of things she herself is doing without a trace of regret or doubt.

It's just a frustrating line to me, because it takes a really interesting morally grey setup for the protagonists, makes it an even darker grey, and instead of challenging it, frames it as a cute sister bonding moment. All while simultaneously showing that despite making essentially the same decisions, the team (or at least Weiss, Qrow, Ruby, and Yang based on her line in the v6 finale) is still blaming and/or resenting Oz rather than reconsidering the difficult position he was in now that they're in it and following suit. Which, tbh, is where I thought that plotline was headed, but that's another conversation :P

If they'd followed it up and had the hypocrisy impact her view or lead to character growth, thus highlighting the complexity of these decisions and setting up the team's understanding of Oz (instead of a flimsy "trust is a risk"), it might have wound up as one of my favorite lines of v7. There was so much potential there, and the choice to ignore it as confirmed in the commentary is one that will forever flabbergast me.

Ok, all done! Sorry if this was too ranty, anon -- I uh. I get kinda carried away in analysis and sometimes come off as more emotional or upset than I am 😅 I just wanted to express my dislike for this line thoroughly to avoid confusion (and hopefully prevent people getting heated in the replies, especially since those often showcase they didn't actually read the whole post and/or took it in bad faith). I'm not bashing or saying you can't like this line or plot point! RWBY is a piece of media I enjoy watching, so when something like this happens that I feel is inauthentic to a character or message, I care about it strongly.

[racebox-of-higgars]

//plops down at table with three notebooks//

Good evening.

You shall now be the subject of my rambling and info-dumping, seeing as you have recently reblogged a post about invading your ask box to do just that.

So, buckle up, my beloved mutual, for I am about to talk your damn ears off.

We all know historians are heterosexist shabuire, yes? Yes? Good. So I've taken it upon myself to send an f-you to all of them and collect evidence for one of the historically accurate ships they so desperately try to erase. The one in question here is, of course, Alexander Hamilton x John Laurens, or more commonly known as Lams.

I've done... a lot of research, to put it mildly. And yes, as a matter of fact, I do consider reading letters from the late 1700s and screaming because I can feel my heart MELTING as research.

Anygay, there's a lot that I have right now so I'll just hit the highlights, because if I go completely in-depth with everything I've found, this'll be thousands of words longer.

The year is 1779. The month, April. The date... unknown. Which sucks. Alexander and John have fought together for years at this point and are very close... friends. This is the first time they've been truly separated. The letter open with:

"Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by action rather than words, to convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that ’till you bade us Adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you. Indeed, my friend, it was not well done. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind, and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments, and to keep my happiness independent on the caprice of others. You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent. But as you have done it and as we are generally indulgent to those we love, I shall not scruple to pardon the fraud you have committed, on condition that for my sake, if not for your own, you will always continue to merit the partiality, which you have so artfully instilled into me."

So pretty much what this opening paragraph is saying is this: "*Sexual innuendo* And I'll keep telling you that until you die. So you know I hate everyone and don't want to have any attachments to anyone. But you've managed to worm your way into my heart, even though I didn't want it. So now that you've done it, please keep doing it, for you if not for me."

Now that's just hella gay. Like, hella fucking gay.

The middle paragraphs are mainly talk about the war, so skipping those for the end because that's when things get spicy as FUCK.

Alexander asks John to find him a wife and goes into great detail about exactly what he wants in a wife. I saw a theory somewhere (I can't remember where) that Alexander was actually describing John and yeah, it pretty much checks out. Keeping in mind deliberate irony is a thing.

So then he goes on to say: "...mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don't forget, that I ⟨– – – – –⟩." 'Nose' is a slang term. And the - - - - - are crossed out words. We'll get to those later.

The last sentence of this letter is: "I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend." and I find this. So. Sweet. He's pretty plainly missing John. And just- he uses the word intercourse. How- how is that platonic? This is gay. They're gay. It's gay.

In almost all the letters that survived, they're signed with "Yours", "Affectionately Yrs.", "Yrs most sincerely", "Yr affectionate", and "Yrs forever" from Alexander. "Adieu, my dear boy", "My love as usual", "You know the unalterable sentiments of your affectionate Laurens", and "Yours ever" all came from John, with the last being the most common. That's... also not terribly straight. Something additionally interesting is that John's father, Henry Laurens, called his wife, Elenor, "Dear girl." That would make it explicitly romantic in his eyes. John also called his wife that in the only surviving letter from him to her. Oh yeah, he's married and has a kid, btw.

So pretty much how that happened was John's boyfriend Francis Kinloch broke up with him, he banged Martha probably 'cause he was sad and pissed and had a lot of feelings, she got pregnant, then he married her out of pity. Alexander knew none of that. And they were really close. The only reason he found out was because he happened to stumble upon some stuff he shouldn't have, and he was pissed. The whole paragraph about him detailing the wife he wanted? Pretty much petty payback.

Devoted is an interesting word, isn't it? Stronger than it's synonyms, such as caring or loyal. So if we skip ahead a few years, Alexander is engaged to Eliza. He tells John about this, John responds, and in his next letter he says: "...as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted than I am now." He's telling him, "Don't worry, I'll still love you as much as I always have. Just because I'm getting married, it doesn't change my feelings for you." Again. Heterosexual explanation? None.

" I hate Congress—I hate the army—I hate the world—I hate myself. The whole is a mass of fools and knaves; I could almost except you and Meade." Keep in mind that at this point now, Alexander was married. And he didn't include his wife in the exemptions. Only John and one of his closest friends, Richard Meade. Dunno 'bout you, but that seems rather telling to me. He also says at the end: "My ravings are for your own bosom." And I can't. His ravings are for John's heart I can't.

These are just some of the highlights of my nearly six thousand word book on this subject. I would happily copy/paste it all, but I'm not gonna subject you to that XD For full viewing the link is here, should you wish to listen to me ramble and rant in more detail.

Thank you for allowing me to dump this all on your lap, and I shall now bid you adieu. //vanishes back into the shadows//

HI, sorry it took me so long to answer this, I’ve had a pretty full-on day. 

This was actually super interesting to read. I actually did a little bit of research into this about a year ago, when I was writing Lams fanfiction, so I knew about the ‘cold in my professions, warm in my friendships” letter, but not any of the others, so thanks for this!! It was a really fascinating read, and I definitely learned a lot from reading it. Have a good day :)

[nickyneshwrites]

Cold chapter 2

ITALICS=Thinking to themself

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”So could you regale me with your amazing feat Nezumi-san, you say you fought with Shizu-chan”

”You mean how my boys and I completely beat that fuckers ass! Don't know why nobody else could do it especially you Orihara-san"

Izaya let out a dry laugh and plastered on the most believable smile he could muster in front of the would-be gang leader.

It was humans like these that made Izaya remember why he did-what he did,2 weeks...That's how long it had been since he last saw Shizuo, at first he thought the blond was just looking for some time alone- he was looking less angry and more down lately avoiding contact and sleeping in his old apartment instead of their shared flat, and Izaya didn't like that. He was worried and when he heard rumors of some small time gang having attacked and beaten the man (his Shizu-chan), and won a week ago, so he decided it was time to take action.

Days of searching, called in favors and the few broken fingers of a poor underling later Izaya had found and made contact with the leader of the...... It didn't even matter, they attacked his Shizuo.

”Nezumu-san as happy as I am for your victory, Shizuo isn't known to stay down for long” Izaya was fighting to hold his composure he was leaning against a grimy alley wall and fingering his switchblade in his coat's pocket.

The bastard had the gall to stand smugly in front of him.

”Ha from what I heard he goes down pretty easy for you.....”

’!!!!’ Izaya was not pleased...

He let out a mirthless chuckle, ”Nezumu-san no matter how much you boast and flatter I find it hard to believe that you and your crew single-handedly took out Shizuo Heiwajima, so lets cut the pleasantries and get real, where is he now?”.

The sentence was punctuated by a blade being pointed dangerously at the unsuspecting street urchin.

He looked worried, said Nezumi was new to the city and wasn't acquainted with Izaya’s brand of business and it was painfully obvious he thought Izaya was here in this decrepit alleyway to thank or congratulate him...there would be no such thing.

”T-tch like I said man we taught the bastard a lesson after interferin’ in our business and left ’im lying in ’der” the smug look his face fell as he noticed the informant skip closer his red eyes glinting.

”I didn't check to see if he left and I'd be surprised if he could walk after all we di-!!!”

All too late he saw the glint of silver fly towards him, but he did feel warm blood trickle down his side and tastes copper in his mouth as he bit into his tongue, then he saw the very pissed informant charge towards him and armed with another knife only to be kicked to his back.

”I think I've heard quite enough of that from you. It seems you misinterpreted your invitation here this time evening, because of YOU!!!”

Izaya pressed his leg on the handle of the knife stuck probably in Nezumi’s ribs eliciting a pained gasp.

”I can't find my Shizu-chan, so let me correct whatever wrong assumption is drifting around in that empty skull of yours”

He leaned down grabbing then twisting the knife he lodged in the urchins side.

”I'm.Going.To. Make.You.Disappear”

He drove the knife deeper while twisting and adding pressure on every syllable.

The urchin dared to gasp in pain and try to pull away begging for mercy ”S-STOP, I-WE DIDN’T KILL HIM, SO WHY GO AFTER ME!!!” He yelled as another knife was plunged straight through his hand pinning it to the alley floor.

Izaya laughed in the dark grimey alley and without thinking twice then answered.

”Because you touched my property....”

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Shadows...shadows everywhere, whisking up the walls, casting on the ground and climbing up his body moving to his head, trying to ensnare his mind, whispering the sweet nothings of doubt and self hate in his mind.

He remembers calling Tom telling him he didn't feel well-it was close enough to the truth.

He remembers the buzzing in his head, the numb limbs, the static in his ears.

He was wandering down the street everything was....grey his vision swam with this paste of grey the, people?. They were all more unfocused blobs, he had kept his head down too afraid to see looks of fear and distaste.

He was wet wasn't he....among a sea of shadows and umbrellas he saw his reflection in a shop window.......All he saw was grey.

Shizuo closed his eyes, where was he to look when all he saw was the demons of his mind crawling on the wall's.

Walls?...Where am I?...These aren't my walls...Not Izaya’s walls...Izaya!

What the hell is happening,why isn't he here!? I can't breath I can't think I need...

”Izay....!”

In his frazzled state, Shizuo failed to notice the syringe that was inserted in his arms and as the sedative worked in his system he fell limp on the bed.

The shaking hands of a young man in an lab coat dropped the syringe and quickly headed for the door, he opened the bolts and briskly made his way down to an office and wasted no time in entering.

”Did you do as I instructed” The voice sounded mildly irritated probably due to the fact that they wanted nothing to do with this mess.

”Y-yes S-shiki-dono he's put to sleep with enough sedative to put an elephant to sleep but with his uhm... Unique psysiology it'll only last about twenty four hours...”

Shiki sighed ”Thats good enough, it'll give me time to inform the informant of his whereabouts... Ever since the supposed defeat of Heweijima The fool has been harassing the city gangs more than normal I'm sure he was looking for the blonde”

He looked at the confused scientist.

”I thought that Heiwajima and Orihara hated each other,Heiwajima he was calling out for him... Are the two of them...like that?”

The scientist fidgeted under the intense gaze of the Awakusu-Kai member.

Shiki let out a loud huff then made a non-comital sound.

”It doesn't matter does it all that matters is that we give Orihara what he wants and we get that raging monster out of here what's wrong with him anyways......asides from the wounds he got from the fight”

The young man straightened as he realised the attention was back on him

”Its not my area of expertise but I believe he is going through some sort of delirious episode though I can't tell why” He mumbled out his answer and tried to get the words out as quickly and accurately as he could.

Shiki sat there and took in this new piece of information, what in the world would make someone like Heiwajima Shizuo have an episode....Hmm it seemed everyone did have their own issues.

”Interesting...”

”What was that Shiki-dono?”

Shiki just pointed to the doors.

”Nothing. You can leave now...Also if you breath a word of this outside this room, lets just say you won't be breathing for much long after”

The eyes of the prominent Awakusu-kai member bore deep into the young man.

”U-understood”

And then he left.

Shiki release a breath he didn't know he was holding then scratched his head.

”Ahh this is so much more trouble than it's worth That annoying informant owes me so much for this. But it might be worth a little if I can get him to stop rampaging around the city. Who would have guessed, it seems he cares more than he let on”

Interesting, very interesting.

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Ao3~

Give me your opinion I hope you like it.