#but you seriously gotta have such a sad ass life

[hyusolk]

dk why there's another dingbat telling me to go to hell for reading lookism 💀 i hope one day you find peace and happiness, because it's pretty sad seeing how absolutely miserable you are to always come back and take actual time out of your day to bash on people you don't even know

telling us we have no life when you are the one who obviously doesn't.. there are more ongoing problems in the world rather than a fandom of people trying to enjoy something. go donate to charity or try to earn your parents love and affection

[titaswrld]

deadpool!

….as your boyfriend.

description: deadpool as your boyfriend!

pairing: deadpool x you!

contains: 18+, mentions of sex!

|an: just saw deadpool & wolverine.. couldn’t help myself.

- awful with emotions but always finds a way to make up for things whether through humor or sex.

- speaking of humor you’re never not laughing with him, or bickering, or fucking

- you’re the only person he can actually feel vulnerable and comfortable with, he cherishes that and he loves you so much for that.

- you’re his person, he would genuinely kill for you if it meant he would lose someone so important in his life.

- if someone makes you sad, mad or uncomfortable ooo…not his babygirl.

- he usually doesn’t keep people or friends in his loop often, they could find him annoying or over the top but not you.

- you love absolutely everything about him, his outlandish humor, his extroverted personality, his big ol’ mouth. you think it’s so hot.

- so hot when he’s mean to you so hot when he’s soft with you

- you literally bicker like two teenage girls all the time and he always somehow clocks your tea it’s ridiculous but you also find it impressive that he always has something to say that you cannot come back from😭

- god you need to pray that no man ever even has the thought of coming on to you… he’ll experience some banter with your boyfriend before it’s lights out.

- not only are you his but he’s yours! he’s super loyal and if he can’t get someone to back off , you sure will!

- you’re always having fun with him date nights are some of the best times of your life, he always finds a way to entertain you no matter what you’re doing.

- always gotta hand somewhere, your ass, a singular cheek, a titty, somewhere. how could you expect him not to! you’re all his.

- you literally have him wrapped around your finger, he’d do absolutely anything for you.

- also always bullying you he is so straightforward😭

“hon that has got to be the ugliest shirt i’ve ever seen on you”

“wade-“

“i know you got better in that closet that i snoop through and try on all your clothes when you aren’t home now go!”

- he’s so tall so if you’re short oh wow…you’re never catching a break

“soooo how’s the weather down there.” wade said, placing his elbow on the crown of your head.

“prick…”

…

“yeah that’s enough of that dirty mouth!” your boyfriend had announced before bending down and wrapping an arm around your behind, throwing you over his shoulder and positioning his palm on your ass.

“god, wade put me down!” you’d laughed playfully hitting his back.

“don’t make me have to spank you!” he said, lighting pinching your ass.

- do not get an animal bc it will quickly become his center of attention and he will defend it over you.

“wade, we’re having my mom over please put it in the room”

“ugh…she’s so mean isn’t she sugar?” he’d said stroking your pet, followed by a “yes she is yes she is!” as the animal licked his face.

sigh.

- good lord we got a cuddle monster on our hands!

- absolutely adores any type of affection and practically begs you for it 24/7. he loves being little spoon specifically. also loves it when u scratch or message his back, bc that also gets him going..

- speaking of, you got this guy rock solid 24/7

“hungry for seconds?” he joked, hugging you from behind and pressing his hardened cock against your ass.

“we literally jus-“ you’d started just to be interrupted mid sentence.

“so! cmon baby throw a dog a bone.” he muttered, hand already gripping your inner thigh.

you’d sighed, god you can’t resist him.

- it doesn’t matter what you’re doing he finds anything you do hot i stg

- a M-U-N-C-H! for life, literally came in his pants from eating you out once! he loves making you feel good.

- a goofball during sex he cannot do shit seriously😭 he be talking you and your pussy thru it!

- again, if you’re petite god help you bc he is large.

- babe, you better match his freak because yall doing anything.

- trying a new thing every night multiple times bc that sex is never vanilla and that dick is never tired! at some point he’s just making positions up😭

[suiana]

(yandere! prison warden x gn! inmate reader) (FYI idk how the law works ok so DON'T come after my ass) (im the type of lawyer that gets ur sentence increased instead of decreased fr💀💀)

"can i kiss you?"

"dude, i literally threatened to kill you."

"so?"

he stares at you with a raised eyebrow, pouting slightly as he leans against the bars of your prison cell. you choose to ignore him, instead opting to play with the plastic fork from your lunch tray.

damn it, you should've known better than to be caught. now you're stuck in this lame ass prison with this warden you don't even like.

curse that stupid lawyer who got your sentenced increased from fifty years to life imprisonment. dude sucked at his job and still got paid 💀

for some context, you were in prison for tax evasion, fraud, and multiple cyber crimes you shall not name. you got caught by accident and now you were here. sentenced to life imprisonment in jail. in a private cell.

you know, it isn't even half that bad as compared to some other crimes others have committed! so you haven't a slightest clue as to why you were placed in a private cell with no one to keep you company!

i mean, you did try befriending your warden but he turned out to be delusional and turned out to be one of the people you scammed. love-scammed, to be specific. which is why he might've been delusional...

"baby why'd you have to leave me? i was so sad..."

see? this is what you mean! he seriously didn't get the hint that he was scammed! even when you told him straight to his face that you never did actually love him!

god damn it. now you have to hear his yapping 24/7. you're starting to think that he might've been the one to report you. i mean, isn't it a little too convenient? he's a prison warden, you've got a private cell-

"hey! are you seriously not paying attention to me?!"

he hits the prison bars lightly to attract your attention. thankfully, it did. or else he might've thrown another tantrum. and you did not have the mental capacity to handle it. come on! if he did it would've been his third tantrum of the week! and it's only monday!

you cock your head at him, rolling your eyes as you acknowledge his presence. your annoying prison warden instantly lights up at the small gesture. oh well, at least he's in love with you to the point where even you acknowledging him makes him happy...

"babe! you've gotta stop ignoring me! it makes me sad..."

"i don't actually care."

"baby!"

damn it, maybe you should've just bribed the judge to let you have a death sentence instead.

[googledetective]

my thoughts about the new drdt episode...

I want to start off that this episode has not left me in a great mental state and this piece of fiction is starting to effect my reality in a negative way, currently. I do suffer from mental health issues, so please be sympathetic. If something I say seems too emotional or a bit off, that's likely why. My therapist will be hearing about drdt, lol. No hate towards drdt, it's an amazing project, and I'm amazed at how the piece of fiction is able to make me react in such a way.

1. I am not educated on ASPD or anything like that, so if I say something wrong feel free to correct me. I had a feeling that Levi likely had it from his secret, but this is a cool confirmation. I like that this is represented in a really great way, and that the reactions to his confessions are also very realistic. I like Levi a lot, but now I understand him so much more, and it makes me really appreciate him.

2. I find it interesting how Levi is so detached, as Veronika said, to everything. Even if I was not capable of remorse, I would've remembered killing my own father. I wonder what his father did to be so looked down upon.

2.5. OKAY SO HES KINDA JUST LIKE ME FR. like I stated previously I've had some bad mental health issues in the past to the point I've kicked windshields of cars in and attacked people. It is not my proudest moment, but holy shit I can relate to this a lot. It makes me so good to see someone who's done shit like I've done who's trying to change.

3. Ace really did care about Levi and considered him a friend, which warmed and broke my heart at the same time. I really hope Ace finds another friend, because he deserves to feel some comfort and joy. I hope he learns about Levi's ASPD and realizes Levi has no malicious intent towards him. I find it nice that Ace did really trust and look up to Levi though, it proves him capable of friendship and deeper feelings that people usually overlook. Great complex character.

4. I was shocked that Levi sided with David, but honestly I do too. David is a good person, and we see that later in the ep where he doesn't tell Eden what Arei said.

5. J CALLED OUT HU??? UNEXPECTED. called her a stupid argument moderator. Interesting. I love you J, but watch it.

6. Veronika's secret isn't the worst thing she's ever done- interesting. I think it could be the thing she's the most ashamed of, but you never know. It really breaks my heart for Hu, and I hope we get a backstory on her soon.

I'm coming back after point 14 and adding this: these secrets don't seem to be any of the worst things they've ever done, nor relevant to the killing game (besides "Xander's"). These secrets are personal. I think they each have worse secrets but they are too related to the killing game so they couldn't give those out.

7. Excuse you, David. Freaky ass.

8. that is NOT Teruko's secret 😭😭😭

9. This is seriously rich coming from J, as she usually escalates the situation.

10. Eden's monologue broke my heart. I am so glad David lied to her at the end, or I think Eden's heart would've been broken. This just makes me so sad.

11. "That maybe there would be a world in which we would be friends." I'm sure there would be, since your fans have created worlds that you're dating her.

12. Arei needs to genuinely shut up. This is where I get very upset and irrational. I am so fucking mad at Arei for lying to Eden. For the rest of Eden's life she's going to be wondering what she could've done or if her friendship was enough. Why the fuck would you lie and say you believed you could change, only to come back and admit you know you can't. My heart breaks for Arei though, because I believe she could've changed. This especially makes me so upset because as a previously bad person who relates to Arei and tries to change, I feel like I'm going to give up hope to do so too. Obviously I gotta overpower and not let fiction effect my reality, but it really hurts.

13. Arei's worldview that nobody is a good person mirrors David's (though David excludes Xander). Makes me really sad. I can hope, but there's really no hope left.

14. Well we know who attacked Xander (what the actual fuck). I hope we learn how that ties in later. Eden's hidden quote, "you can never go back, no matter how hard you try." maybe it's referring to this incident instead of the situationship with her friends in the past.

15. Love this.

16. WE HAD A JRUKO MOMENT!!! So happy about this!!!

17. Why the actual fuck does Whit know so much about how that hanging mechanism would work. You're making yourself look so suspicious. High and low were highlighted, which was interesting.

18. Whit said this murder would've been hard if Arei wasn't a willing victim. If she was, this just makes this case even more tragic. She may have convinced herself to give up hope and cooperated with the killer, which pains me a lot. I think this was due to David's secret.

19. I love the carousel bit! And the banter between Arturo and Whit. They had banter last trial too, so that's a continuation. Maybe they'll have a confrontation in the future.

20. NICO FUCKED BRO

21. At this point my only logical conclusion of who I think the killer could be is J.

22. Everyone is bringing up Ace's friend- Taylor! It's seriously throwing me for a loop bc that's my name!

ENDING:

To clarify, I think it's sad that Arei believes she can't change and even started doubting Eden.

[allsadnshit]

My husband's job is going through a truly dog shit corporate transitional period and he had a zoom meeting with his manager and team today and his manager dead ass ended the call with "I know stuff is really tough right now but you know you just gotta keep a good attitude you know like I've been having a couple drinks after shifts to get through it so just make sure to do what you have to stay chill and happy"

And wow....I'm so sad for people

This man really told his staff he's drinking away his stress and didn't even flinch like was truly like heyyy gotta rip a vape and have a few brews when life is hard and I was like no girl... that's actually the exact time you should not run away from your problems and think seriously about a situation

Substance abuse is so natural to our culture at this point especially corporate culture and it's so strange to watch while sober and realize it doesn't even sound like anything to people so deep in it anymore

[intuitively-her]

What shadow work do you need to do?

Pile 1-(6 of swords, 2 of cups rx, 5 of swords, 5 of cups rx, Page of swords rx, Queen of cups, 8 of pentacles, The Lovers)

There's a lot of lingering heartbreak from your past that you need to let go of. It's time to move on. Accept what has already happened. Accept what you cannot change. This could even be trauma that you have from a certain family member. It's time to release and give some love back to yourself. You need to be softer with your communication. Be nicer to yourself. You should listen to some self-love affirmations. Energy healing frequencies may benefit you as well. You can find these videos all over youtube.

*Angel messages: "Spend time alone in nature, meditating about your desires and intentions. Ask the angels to help you gain a positive perspective. ; Keep charging ahead, and don't take no for an answer. Expect miraculous solutions to appear."

Pile 2-(The Hermit, 7 of pentacles rx, 4 of cups, 10 of swords, 8 of pentacles, 10 of cups, 4 of pentacles, The Magician)

You need to spend some time alone and get your mind right. Your laziness is causing delays and a lack of follow through with your plans. Stop blocking yourself babe. Get your ass up and fucking work!🤣 You may be sad about your current environment or just with the way your life is going. You're literally the only person that can change that tho. Your 10 of cups is already waiting on you. You've gotta be willing to work for it tho. You need to take yourself more seriously. You could have so much rn. Think more positively, and watch how it shifts your whole reality. Subliminals related to mindset and self-concept would benefit you; or even meditations with positive affirmations. Videos related to self-help and manifestation will help as well. Watch creators like TheWizardLiz or Anila Sita 101. You can find these videos on youtube. Get more comfortable with change. What was lost was never really meant for you in the first place. Remember that rejection is protection. You ARE worth it. 💗

*Angel message: "I am helping you heal physical challenges in yourself and others. You are a healer like me."

Pile 3-(Page of cups, Temperance, The High Priestess, Strength, The Emperor, Knight of swords, 2 of wands rx, The Hanged Man)

Get in touch with your spiritual side more. Work with spiritual and protective tools. Sage/smudging your space often will really benefit you. Crystals and protective jewelry will help replenish and protect your energy. You can even use spiritual essential oils; i'm feeling specifically that you should use oils that aid your health, self-love, and protection. You can find this stuff all over Etsy! Leave your comfort zone more. Work on releasing your fears. It's just fear babe. Stop letting it hold you back from your dreams! Be more direct with the way you communicate. Don't be afraid to be the loudest person in the room. Speak your truth and stand on it. Let yourself shine!🌟

*Angel message: "I bring you a message from your deceased loved one; I am happy, at peace, and I love you very much. Please don't worry about me."

Pile 4-(Knight of pentacles, 8 of swords, The World rx, The Moon, 2 of cups, 3 of wands rx, The Empress, 6 of wands rx, The Star) *angel # confirmation 222, 999

It's time to practice boundaries with certain individuals. Some of these people are holding you back from your true potential. I heard "blind leading the blind". This could be family or close friends. It's time to ride your own wave! Stop seeking validation from outside sources. Do what you want! Show up for yourself more. You should be your biggest cheerleader. Celebrate your small milestones, not just the big ones. Your ideas are meant to take you far in life! Trust the path you're on.

*Angel messages: "I am with you, giving you the courage to make life changes that will help you work on your divine life purpose. ; You have a gift for working with young people, and your divine life purpose involves helping, teaching, or parenting children."

💋Extra message: I wanted to thank you guys bc I recently received 10k likes on my page! THANK YALL SO MUCH!😭😭💖 Yall always show me endless love on this account. I honestly never thought that it would grow into what it is today. I always had doubts about starting this page before. This is actually one of the few places where i feel comfortable enough to express myself with yall. I will never forget and will forever be thankful for the constant love i get on here. luv yall💘

[iguessitsjustme]

I don't think any of y'all watch The Circle but I am absolutely DYING at the episodes that dropped today. And the only people I know that watch it are coworkers so I gotta wait until tomorrow to really talk about it but oh my god. I gotta say this or I will explode. Under the cut to spare y'all:

Mad, mad respect for Caress for making the right move and sacrificing herself. She knew where she stood and she truly went out in the best possible way. I hope she finds nothing but blessings in her life.

I think the way the show is being edited is indicating that Kyle is gonna win it. I hope he does. He has been nothing but loyal and honest to everyone (aside from the fact he's married but that's no problem because Liv isn't exactly honest either)

I HATE Jordan. First of all, get your shoes off the bed wtf. You sleep there. I also get that he's good for tv or whatever because he's brings the drama but that is literally not what anyone likes about the circle. We like the genuine connections that people build in there. We like when the show is wholesome. And he came in and just decided Myles sucked and was manipulating everyone? Because what? People liked him? When he was going around lying about everything? That boy still has insecurities he hasn't fully worked through and is projecting that onto Myles.

I will be so sad if QT goes because she is genuinely such a good player. She's kind but also realistic and she keeps it real with her people that they're playing a game. I'm glad she left that influencer chat with Jordan because she was right. If she blocked anyone he wanted to block, she would look like she can't be trusted. She would be the next one gone. Because Jordan would have been safe since he was the secret influencer, he had no issues gunning for her people. And trying to tell her that her strategy is bad because she doesn't want to break every alliance she has in one fell swoop? He's dumb.

I hope Liv gets rid of Jordan but the smart move would be blocking QT and I honestly think QT would respect her for it. I don't know if QT would throw shade at Liv being a catfish or not though. That is if they make Liv block face to face which is what they've always done in the past so I don't see why they would stop now.

I am happy to see Liv makes it to the finals. I've been up and down with Liv but I do like her and think she deserves to be in the finals. Or he deserves it I guess. Go Brandon.

I want Kyle to win. Out of everyone left, I want him to win. Myles is my favorite but I think Kyle winning would be the sweetest moment.

Jordan can kiss my ass.

I do want Lauren to make it to the finals. I wish she had been in any other season cause I think the AI twist hurt her a lot and she would have been able to build actual connections with actual people which is what I watch the show for.

No seriously. Jordan makes me so mad. All he had to do was literally none of what he did. Why did he come in so nasty? Has he seen the show? Those people never win. Never.

I do feel bad for Autumn and I think if she had come in earlier and had a chance to talk to Myles they could have been friends. I do not know why I think this but I think they would have been friends.

[joesanrio]

He’s mad now | R.R

Summary: Nova coming back from college was one of the best days- or I guess nights of her life.

Pairings: Joe Anoa’i x Nova (OC) || non-established relationship

Warnings: arguing, cheating, kissing, pet names (princess,baby), grinding, dry humping, fingering.

Rating: 18+

A/N: …something about Joe being irritated or arguing with someone just sounds so hot. Also, I gave Joe a diff girl instead of Galina bcs I can’t do my girl like that. #whenjoeaintlookingimsnatchingherup

———————————————————

It was the first weekend back in Florida after graduating college, everyone is excited and wanting to celebrate. Luckily tonight was just something that wasn’t all about me and just about seeing each other again.

“But you guys- I don’t drink.” I say as Takecia is trying to get me hype for the night at the club. “That doesn’t matter- we’re still going to have fun.” She smiled as I nodded in agreement. I sit on the living room couch as we are waiting for the last couple to show up.

Joe and Kira, they started dating while I was in college and supposedly are so in love. Though, Joe was not guaranteed to wait for me while I was at college, that selfish part of me wishes he did. “Sorry guys.” His voices eases into my ear, I didn’t look up though wanting avoid any eye contact at all costs.

“Got damn, might as well have a sleepover- took so long.” Jimmy complained jokingly while greeting Joe. I grabbed my small purse as I stood up and got ready to greet the couple myself, “You look… cute!” Kira greeted me with a forced smile. “Oh.. thank you!” I pretend not to notice her “compliment” tone, a small nod towards Joe as I walk past the couple to Jimmy at the door.

“Nova, remember you taking us home.” Jey pointed as he walked up to me by the door, “Got it!” I smile.

I get in the passenger seat of Jimmy’s car as Jey and Takecia get in the back, Kira and Joe riding separately. “That Kira chick is already ruining the mood.” Takecia complained as we haven’t even left the driveway and we can see her complaining through the passenger window of Joe’s car. “Aye- no bad vibes and we ain’t even leave yet.” Jimmy said as he pulls out the driveway.

[ Club : 9:25pm ]

“No. She just asked if I saw her boyfriend, I was not flirting!” Joe explains for the 5th time since they started arguing. They’ve had about 4 arguments since we got to the club and 3 of those were stupid little things like;

“You need to stop being so stiff!” Kira complained.

“I’m not-“ Joe denied.

“Yes! you literally are.” Kira drags on drunking-ly.

If there was an award for best party poopers they would definitely get it about now. “You know what. I’m so sick of your bullshit- every time we go out you always ruin it!” Kira shouts in Joe’s face as he rubs his forehead, “Okay, let’s go home then.” He offers while trying to calm the situation as the people close to them look over. “No fuck you! Fuck her and you can stay with your bitchy ass cousins and sleep there!” She exclaims as she storms off with the keys.

“Kira! You’re drunk!” I say going after her, “Oh my gosh, who do you think you are? Superman or something- leave me the hell alone!” She rolls her eyes before walking away again. “Maybe call someone to get you? You look really drunk, is all.” I try to reason as she glared at me, “Fine! Now move.” She shoves me while taking out her phone.

Walking back to where the rest of the group was, Joe seemed so confused about the situation as he sat with a beer. “Man- now we gotta sad Uce and raging drunk outside.” Jimmy said seriously though the small laughs didn’t fail to find there way after. “No. I’m good- she’ll snap out of it tomorrow morning.” Joe says as he takes a swig from his beer, “Y’all go ahead.” He nods.

Everyone still unsure but leaves to go back to whatever they were doing, but I find myself not wanting to leave him. “Joe… you sure you alright.” I ask softly before sitting next to him, he hums as he plays with the seemingly small bottle in his hands. “Nova, I know you don’t like her.” He looks up at me from the random space in front of him, “I do. Why-“ I go to defend myself before he cuts me off.

“I can hear the way your voice spikes up at the end of your sentences, you always do that when you’re uncomfortable or trying to fake something.” His eyes looking endearingly into mine, the small details only one who paid close attention would know he says like it’s obvious. “You got me..” I joke as he lets out a light huff of a laugh, “I missed you. You can’t tell anyone, but I dated her in hopes to forget about you.” He practically whispers as his hands find themselves onto his temples. “I- I missed you too. I still do.” I let my smile fall as I feel the reoccurring feelings I have for him, make there way to the surface.

“You do hm?” I could hear the smirk in his tone, I roll my eyes playfully at his now relaxed demeanor. “Stop! I’m being serious. I really do.” I laugh lightly as Joe stands from the booth, “Come with me.” He sticks his hand out for me to grab. My eyebrows rise questioningly before gabbing his large hand, I say nothing as he guides me to VIP area. “Oh hey man! Come on.” The bodyguard greeted Joe before pulling back the rope.

“So you’re telling me, we could’ve been over here the whole time! Your cousins are gonna be pissed.” I laugh as he smiles in agreement. “Our secret m’kay?” He places a finger over his mouth in a shushing manner, I nod as we walk up to the tucked away seating area. He pulls the curtains closed as I observe the area, “Nova, I really want you.” He states with a eager look in his eyes.

“You do hm?” I mock his past words as he takes quick notice and stands in front of me, “mhm I do.” He grabs the back of my neck delicately, pulling me up to meet his lips. The strong taste of beer on his lips, it’s disgusting but the soft note of coconut is coming through from his chapstick. “I really missed you.” He smiles against my lips, and his other hand finding its way to my ass causing a gasp to leave my mouth. His tongue slipping in between my lips with ease, melting into his touch, my hand grips his forearm while the other wraps around the neck and pulls him closer.

“Joe. Oh my-“ I moan quietly into his lips before pulling away, his eyes immediately going down to my wet, plump lips. He quickly sits down onto the sofa before pulling me onto his lap, causing my dress to rise up a bit. “You look so gorgeous.” He whispers before placing his thumb onto my lips and playing with the bottom lip. I unintentionally begin grinding on his lap before he pulls me back onto a kiss, “So needy.” He chuckles while his large hands find there way onto my ass.

“Shit..you feel so good princess.” He groans before pushing me harder against his erection, I moan in agreement as my panties soak against his jeans. His hand leaving my ass to rub little circles on my clit through my wet panties, “Oh. You’re soaked- already? I barely played with you.” Joe teases. My head falls into his shoulder in embarrassment before his fingers find there way onto my entrance.

“Joe…” I moan into his ear as his finger enters slowly, curling and hitting that one spot. “More.” I say breathlessly before he enters a second finger, his pace speeding up. My moans getting heavier and drawn out as his long fingers abuse the perfect spot inside of me. “I’m- m’gonna cum” I gasp as he restlessly pounds into me, “come on.” He smirks as he kisses my neck. I cum onto his fingers before he quickly pulls them out and has me grind onto his hard cock.

“There you go.. almost there.” He coos in my neck before placing a delicate kiss. I whine as I became overstimulated on top of him. “I can’t-“ “yeah you can.” He nods before his head falls back onto the chair, “Shit baby. Oh- fuck.” He groans as he cums in his pants. His grip on my hips getting tighter while holding me against him, “Oh I missed you.” He smiles tiredly.

“Oh my gosh! They’re probably looking for us.” I say remembering about the rest of the group, “Damn I forgot.” He chuckles and lifts me off his lap gently. “You look so fucked out.. and all you did was cum on my fingers.” He looks me up and down as he stands up. I cover my face in embarrassment, then standing up beside him. “I’m glad you’re back.” He pulls me by my waist and gives me another kiss.

[sillystarters]

it's always sunny in philadelphia season sixteen starter sentences.

starter sentences taken from episodes one - three from season sixteen of it's always sunny in philadelphia. part one of ??

have you ever seen teenage mutant ninja turtles ?

you spent close to $20,000 on a couch you never owned.

that's pretty bad business fellas.

now listen i have glued my hand to a door so they can't physically remove me.

you know, i know stuff.

that's money talk right there.

how much nut do you go through a month?

are you storing up your nut or are you blowing through it?

i'll give you fifty cents for a buck.

come, have a seat.

it was super cheap dude.

well listen, i don't really have any interest in your bulk tin of low end economy nuts.

yeah don't make a mess.

what's behind that door?

holy shit! what the fuck is this?

i wasn't tryin' to be crypto about it.

this is tits!

can i sleep in here?

we're gonna blow our shoes out with all this walking.

how is this not a big deal?

move past it dude, move past it man.

i really ultimately don't give a shit.

did you glue your hand to my door?

i can tell you're mad.

i can't deal with this.

and just leave me here all alone?

i don't wanna be a bad host.

you know what, this was a mistake.

i can't sleep.

what is going on with you dude?

what you workin' on there bud?

is that thing loaded, by the way?

get off my back.

you know what? screw this.

i am in the prime of my life.

okay so it was loaded, my mistake. don't be so dramatic.

it's not like anybody's in any real danger.

getting shot in the face is pretty cool.

i do care about the money though.

i got some bad news for ya, bud.

i figured you probably forgot too or something.

did you try to pull out your own teeth?

i'm so sorry.

i didn't have the heart to tell you.

those ungrateful bitches.

i can't believe you did this!

i'm not mad at you okay? it's fine.

you did make a mistake.

i didn't mean to upset you.

this is not working.

should we just attack him and take it?

shut up!

this is my worst nightmare in my entire life.

she burnt the shit outta me.

i got a little surprise for ya.

you wanna take it easy? goddamn. just one bite at a time.

ha! i almost ate my gun.

i hope everyone brought their appetite because i made quiche!

this is like, everything you've ever wanted.

that is ... sad.

this is so annoying.

alright, where to now?

a perfect day can't last forever.

what the hell are you doing?

you're outta control with that thing.

just barge right in okay don't be shy.

oh my god what are you doing here?

this is so distasteful.

asmr, dickweed!

how long has it been?

that's a definite pass for me.

this is a million to one shot and i've got a really good feeling about this.

our luck just turned around.

i don't wanna have my ass handed to me.

we have a problem.

whatever you do, don't laugh.

this is bad, dude.

what? why are you trying to break my door down at three in the morning?

i just wanted to ask if you could kindly keep the noise down.

this was very sweet of you to bake these for me.

it's a trophy, see? it says cunt of the year. that's you!

bad things are going to happen to you one day. i guarantee it.

you earned it!

we're not having bad luck, we're having good luck.

come here you rat! die!

it's time to make good on your end of the bargain.

what is your deal, man?

i'm going to beat you with my shoe!

we gotta take this seriously.

go make your apologies!

i'm done listening to this.

'just in case' is as good of a reason to believe in anything as any.

i don't believe in that bullshit.

well, that's not good.

that's a bad omen!

boy, that's a shame.

thank you for this.

i'm just trash right? that's what you said.

i got you a sixer!

i gotta show you something but you gotta keep it a secret.

you're not following.

it makes literally no sense.

a moment of your time?

i'm sorry your dad doesn't like you.

[chewing-drywall]

METALOCALYPSE HEADCANNONS

(Part 1/??)

Buckle in yall this will be a long ass post

TOKI WARTOOTH

Earlyklok! Toki

-the most sincerely homophobic in the beginning. You don't just get raised the way he's been and not have some WILD ass beliefs about the world, he eventually unlearns it but being surrounded by dude bros who constantly call things gay as an insult and his tendency to take things litterally DONT help. And it's not like active hate or anything it's just getting raised that gay people are sinners and are gonna burn in hell is definitely a topic you gotta make an effort to unlearn.

-seeing two girls kissing on the streets of florida for the first time??? SHOCKED, litterally did a full head swivel to check if anyone else had seen it and imploded when no one seemed to be as surprised at he was

-Doesnt really even understand why the rest of the band likes casual sex so much, it feels good but at first he thought it was strange there were all of these girl fawning over a him, a technical stranger, and he just goes along with it.

- got his ears pierced about 4 months into earlyklok sitting on the ledge of their shared apartments crusty bathtub

they were all packed into the tiny bathroom, talking over eachother, the room thick with weed smoke, skwisgaar perched over him in the bathtub holding his head straight

pickles did it with a safety pin and an icecube, joint hanging off his lips as he squinted in concentration

Toki didn't flinch, didn't even stop talking to Nathan about the newest Cannibal corpse album that Nathan wanted to buy a cd of

He liked the feeling of skwisgaars hands engulfing his face, it was a touch that wasn't cruel. Plus knowing that the best guitarist he's ever heard in his whole life hands were soft was a fact that he's gonna ingrain into his head.

Murderface and Nathan actually looked mildly concerned at tokis complete lack of reaction

- the kid will offhandedly say really cryptic shit, through broken English and weird reactions to what they think is normal stuff. the band gets the gist that they'd have to be a hell of a lot drunker to handle his truth (toki: oh don't worry I'm used to the dark! :), everyone else:👀)

-got a lip piercing but didn't take care of it properly, so of course it got infected and had to be taken out

-this is when he starts age regressing but doesn't realize he's doing it,

-he'd watch a kids cartoon in complete silence until the season ends and it's the only way to keep him completely still and quiet

-is attracted to bright and colorful things even if it gets him made fun off by the guys, secretly LOVES Lisa frank art

Regular adult toki

-AUTISM AUTISM AUTISM

HATES tables that aren't clean, when it's noticeably sticky or there's crumbs that stick to his arms when he leans on the table

-same with the feeling of spilt beer, has gotten used to it over the years but the feeling of dried sticky beer still has his skin crawling

-has drunken bong water as a dare (all of them have as some point but still)

-has also smoked weed through his nose (again on a dare)!

-if you look really close into his eyes, his eyes go so light blue it looks pale yellow

-very very kind and pretty eyes, the downwards slope of them make him look sad with a neutral face

-LONG AND THICK EYELASHES

-works out mostly regularly to keep his shape, he gets too energetic for the others to handle so it's a good way to blow off some steam

-Likes the idea of wearing feminine stuff, skirts seem sooooo comfortable but doesn't wear them cause yknow the teasing would be absolutely relentless

-medium thickness chewed on lips, does it mindlessly

-knows hes capable of incredible violence, the band is also very aware and whenever he gets legitimately pissed off during a argument (like a genuine, seriously bad argument) they'll usually just back off and wait to bring it up later when toki doesn't look like he's three seconds away from curbstomping them

-FAT crush on Nathan but for some reason gets really shy around it??

-Nathan will compliment him and toki will deadass write with a fluffy pink huge glittery pink pen in an equally pink journal kicking his legs and giggling

*Nathan told me when I got that chord I kept fucking up correct that he could *see me improving* EEEEE he's soooo big He could throw me Like a football

-fond of murderface, knows people deal with their own shit in diffrent ways so he doesn't take his insults to heart (usually)

-relationship with skiwsgaar is. Weird.

I'll probably get into it on another post but it's SO complicated like. Were both emotionally constipated around eachother, our relationship used to be so kind and gentle skiwsgaar was tokis mentor and wanted to see him grow but has such anxeity around toki surpassing him he purposely beats him down; and toki doesn't have the work ethic or drive to truly get to thay level and it impedes the progress of the band. But engages with this weird rivalry thats also a form of love and respect like. Your the only one I could ever be worried about being better than me and I've watched you grow so much and I don't know how to express that properly YADDA YADDA YADDA

-loves pickles very much, he was the most welcoming in the beginning and always made a space for him at the table, later on a shoulder to cry on.

[katyspersonal]

(Responding remaining asks for the ask post in a bundle)

Thank you 🥺 But hey, you only won't have more Soulsborne knowledge than me with THIS attitude!! You gotta believe in yourself! XD

_____________________

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! Also I feel like I know who you are XD

That guy, honestly.. I remember giving him some thoughts and analysis that I am still proud of even back in time before I was aware of finer details and translation errors. He felt like someone very real and full of nuances even in my "sounds like creep" era, and then first character I wrote a good analysis on! I take credit for popularising the knowledge about English localisation completely skewing him, because despite LP's document being in access for years nobody fished out THOSE details from it until me!! It took deliberate searching with the purpose of learning THE character!!!! 😎

I miss my more "unalloyed" version of Gehrman though, such a real cold dead-inside man, saved and adopted from abusive house but with the demons inside left forever, whose lack of empathy made him perfect hunter and whose sole true positive emotion in life was meeting Maria but then he took a massive L fsdhdsh I blame @fantomette22 for softening my general perception of him though by just standing there!!! You and your soft ass! GET OVER HERE-

_____________________

^ This one was sent during me typing this post! Thank you very much, this is a lot of praise.. т.т I am self-conscious about my art and feel like the only way to improve is to get a teacher, which can't be organised any time soon, but I am happy you enjoy it as it is still!

(and I am sure your personality is great as well <:3 )

_____________________

Which 'hot' takes? My takes at cooking that chicken @heraldofcrow JUST right? Well this makes sense I guess dfshhsd

fdjhshdsf okay seriously, thank you XD I am not good at dignified, intelligent way of describing my theories that sounds like telling a sad tale or a scary legend that I see some people do both in text and podcasts.. Hell, some of such posts sound like small fanfics! And I sure as hell don't want to accidentally slip into the unapproachable, humourless "let me educate you peasants" tone (it is hard to not even notice)! So the only option left for me as a wordy kind of loredigger was to unleash my inner clown!! I heard people say that adding jokes and cursed memes in the middle of sharing a theory is actually relaxing, so I am glad I am this way <:3

Also really not tryna become a "contrarian" kind of user, we do NOT have a shortage of blogs that throw a shade at the fandom trust me! But what do I do when I also have a lot to say... 🙄 Aren't we all just people who desperately try to not be Hunters until beasts come at OUR doorstep?

_____________________

This is what you see in a Petri dish you've put me in after 2 minutes:

Yes I know I used this image today already you just made it VERY hard to not do it again sdhhfsdsd Anyways, thank you!!

_____________________

Thank you! I hope you still like them!!

I'd actually say that anyone can make really unique headcanons and interpretations! My secret is actually to minimise exposure to the takes in the fandom until I've came up with my idea to offer! It helps me to jump into a metaphorical pillowfort with @val-of-the-north when a character or a question interests us and brainstorm the ideas; I do the suggestions, intuition, right questions and imagination part, whereas he does finding the most obscure gameplay consequences, finds obscure images from the furthest corners of the internet and remembers literally every detail that could help or debunk like a supercomputer! *sets the 'days since praising Val on public' counter back to 0 AGAIN fhsdhds*

THEN I hop on Tumblr and offer my idea and look what other people say (with rare exceptions about smaller things). Key word is, 'THEN'! I've met many people who were shocked when I informed them that what they assumed was canon in fact was just a popular fanon! Many people make the same mistake: they see many people doing [thing] and just assume it has to be legit then and never double check for selves! This ensures less variety of interpretations with all (designs, ships, story, portrayals and takes) which is a bit disheartening! Just remember to 1) look at the source material with clear eyes, only consulting wikis and reference videos, for example to know about questline or item you've missed 2) communicate with the fandom about a topic when you DO have your own idea already, this will me mutually enriching for both and 3) never simply take majority's word as canon! And then you will be like me! x)

You will ALSO be like me if you add Spongebob meme within a serious theory and organise dash wars with your mutuals but that's for another story fdshfhsd

[piglet26]

Star Wars Rewatch: TROS

Oh, God.

Palpatine come back and ruining Anakin Skywalker's redemption. Why? How? Cloning, okay, so this Palpatine isn't the real Palpatine?!

We get to see Supreme Leader Kylo Ren for about 4 minutes before he's immediately benched by Palpatine as co-pilot. Why? I get they didn't want Kylo Ren as the big bad, but this is just lazy writing.

Green goblin, I remember you don't last long.

R2D2, they never wash him or nothing?

Maybe the First Order should win. They take hits and keep on knocking. They take losses and recovered, quickly and well. They always seem to have intelligence from somewhere. In short, they are competent.

Poe and Finn, have a great dynamic.

Rey is finally training for everyone who had a boner for two movies about her having a rocky fight montage.

They moment where Ren is praying over Darth Vader's mask and his mind bridges with Rey is a great reminder that these two are connected.

This film did something most franchise should never, it responded to criticism in real time.

Poe, you fucked up Han's ship. Stop attacking like she doesn't have a reason to be annoyed. Also, Rey is currently the sole Jedi in the galaxy, she should be training, not running off on every errand you have to do.

Colin Travano (whatever his name is) I wouldn't have wanted his script. Like at all. Poe and Rey do have chemistry though and you can tell they enjoy needling one another. It's just not endgame.

That Finnrey hug was awkward. It's a church hug with their butts sticking out. I'm Reylo to the core, but I have place for FinnRey in my heart. They're soulmates in a different way than Reylo is. Also, Daisy Ridley and John B are adorable and you can tell they enjoy working together.

In a flawed film, Rose Tico being sidelined was a wise decision.

Rey, Poe, Finn, Chewie and 3PO are cute. JJ Adams did seem to love friendships developing and for the third film we needed to see all these characters together on an adventure.

Kylo Ren is forging this dumb ass mask again. Look it worked initially, character wise and so forth, but at this point?! He smashed it and moved past the need for it. The audience liked that he smashed it. We have to see his face for emotional scenes. Why is it back? Oh I know! Because JJ Adams good juvenile friend was sad his mask wasn't in the film anymore. General Hux and Kylo are magically little bottle of goodness. We got so little.

We leave one planet for another planet but I keep forgetting what planet we're on. Title cards too much to ask?

Ren is actually pursuing Rey or The Scavenger because yes he wants her for himself. but he also wants to protect her from Palpatine. Their first force bond......... yeah. I've read the novelization so I understand it's been a minute since they've seen one another, but if I just watched the movie would I have known that? No. There is much they saying yet it's stiff and doesn't make much sense without context.

General Pryde. Why did we need him when we have General Hux?

I think Billie D Williams filmed all his scenes sitting down. He looks happy to be there but tired as hell.

Race through the desert of Pasaana. I like it. This crew does work and it feels like a fun adventure. There are cute, whitty moments between all of them and it works.

She heals a snake - Two halves of the dyad should only have been able to heal one another, but here we are.

The Trio and Co find the evil sith ship or whatever. The Knights of Ren gotta walk while Ren is flying. Ren tries to run down Rey, again this make sense in the novelization and not at all in real life. After Rey injures his planes, he crashes and the majestic prince emerges out of the flames. Seriously?! Why the hell are you covering this guy up?!

In a rip off of The Last Jedi we get a tug-o-war scene between the ship Chewie is on. It's not as great, but it's a good scene and we see how Rey's powers have grown. We know it's a waste of time though. They're evenly matched. It's a nice surprise when the lighting shoots out. Okay, I don't mind her being a Palpatine. I mind the retconning. I mind Palpatine magically coming back.

Rey confesses to Finn about her dream of her and Kylo Ren on the Sith Throne. Where? We would have liked to have seen this.

This is a nice FinnRey scene. Despite her display of "dark power", her killing Chewie presumably, Finn doesn't look at her any different. She's still Rey to him. He's patient and present and she describes her challenges. We still don't acknowledge Finn is force sensitive. Why isn't he training with Rey?

We are blazing through this movie. That's part of the problem we're just pushing plot points at this point. The movie needs to be more selective about slowing down and concentrating on character development. Something painfully lacking in this film. Even the Reylo scenes are about pushing the plot forward rather than pushing the characters forward.

3PO actually has a storyline this movie. Good for him. Look secondary characters in a trilogy, you get your moments and it ain't gonna be every film.

Zorri and Babu are nice additions. I like Zorri and the fact that Ren kicking her ass actually made her like her. Women supporting women. Were Zorri and Poe a thing. What's a spice runner? A space drug dealer?

Rey's social skills lack a bit. but she's great with Droids.

Wait, Chewie and Ren were both on Ren's Destroyer and they didn't even have a scene together?! Chewie's like an uncle to Ren.

Ren, show up in your boss ass destroyer to get your girl.

Standout lines -

Poe: 3PO! Move your metal ass.

3PO: How dare you we just met.

Finn, Poe and Chewie cowboying through the destroyer. Nice scene, doomed for failure I'm afraid.

Second Reylo forceskype is exposition. First real Reylo scene is exposition. Hey, movies gotta get it done haha but Ren literally is like here's the plot of the movie and everything you've been confused on up until this point. I will say watching the progression of the force bond that their spaces are now physically bleeding into one another. Nice touch. It's also nice to see what they each see when looking at one another through the force bond.

General Hux is the spy. Could've gone farther with this. RIP Dawg

Another FinnRey scene where you begin to understand Rey is pissed off and darker than possibly Finn thought.

Palpatine and Ren scene. I'm so annoyed Palpatine is in this movie.

We meet a ragtime band on horses surprise their former stormtroopers. All of them. From the same company. Sure Jan.

Seeing the death star again, so odd and doesn't look a thing like the original. We see scavenger Rey again.

Reylo fights again because Rey is the denial queen and she's free to take out her aggression on Ren. He likes feral Rey. In another less PG film, they've fought and then boned, but Leia died. Also, Dark Rey.... I'm here for it. Mostly cause it looks cool.

The film makers did the best they could with Carrie's Fisher passing. I thought they handled it with class and dignity while incorporating it into the film.

After Leia's passing and Rey healing it. Ren in his ever presented conflict nature overlooks the water when his father appears. It's poignant and character driven scene. It's beautiful scene about the enduring love of a parent. A flawed parent but a loving one nonetheless. Ben had two of those and he seems to finally understand that now.

Poe has a good scene with Leia's body about being a leader. Something that, despite all the bravado, he finally admits he doesn't know how to do. This would've been a great scene with her alive. Part of the issue people have the sequel trilogy of the lack of respect paid for previous generations. As if they are flawed and bigoted. On screen and off screen. A scene where Finn, Poe or Rey paid respect for the accomplishments of previous generations. Their courage and their bravery. Billie D. feels like just a stand-in.

Palpatine army blows up yet another planet. yawn.

Finn is a general bestow as such by Poe. Good choice. Sanitation worker aside no one knows more about The First Order than someone who was a stormtrooper. Finn reveals Palpatine wanted Rey alive...... then why tell Ren to kill her? Because if Rey didn't go dark then Ren was the fall back or vice versa?

So far it's not a bad film, just a disappointing film. The stuff that made my blood boil is about to come.

Rey isolates herself on Acht-to, burns the ship and we see ghost Luke. Why? She saw herself on the dark throne and she's afraid of herself. This might have meant something. At one point. It just feels like a retcon at this point. She's a Palpatine but Leia and Luke didn't care? Then what the hell were you worried about Ben for? If blood and legacy means nothing.

I'm not one of those people that need everything in a movie to make sense. It's also a space fantasy film, but damn.

Rey leads the Resistance to Exegol, she just doesn't know it. That was handy. No, really the way the movie sliced that together worked very well. Poe and Finn make a great speech about the resistance. Not as rousing as I'd like.

Exegol being the basis for the Sith religion is actually really cool. Wish we could've learned more. Empress Palpatine sounds like a boss ass name.

I hate everything about the ending of this film.

Rey once again goes into the enemy territory without a plan. The resistance doesn't really have one either except gumption.

Ben Solo is back! He's great. He's a hero. He's got great hair. He's likeable. We haven't seen him for 20 minutes, he doesn't say a word except "Ow" We have a beautiful Reylo moment where we Rey and Ben see each other through the Force Bond and she looks at Ben with such relief, joy and love that he's there with her. Ben fight like hell to get to her. This is it! Bendemption. We've waited three films for this. Then they tossed him off a cliff.

While it's a great scene of Rey listening to the previous Jedi's and rising up. I'm so confused how the dyad coming together empowers the devil. Ben has been made completely irrelevant.

I mean, we got a Reylo Kiss! It was epic and then it was over. We were lucky to get that considering Disney started to shy away from Reylo due to all the "controversy" I just hate this so we'll move on.

The hug was nice!

Rey Skywalker?

And that's that

[yoonqua]

todo cambio

a/n: quick little thought i had during class today lol

jung wooyoung x reader // word count: 833 // non idol au

“Would you kiss me or slap me?” 

You stared at the guy who decided to stop you and your friend from making your way to class–completely dumbfounded. Your eyebrows furrowed together in confusion as he simply smiles at you, eyes crinkling more as time went on without your answer as if it were the most normal thing to ask during finals week. 

You squint your eyes as if to ask “seriously?” and in response, he closes his mouth and grins while slightly moving the mic closer to your mouth. You look to the right where you see his friend (you assume) recording on a phone. 

Sadly, you knew these two motherfuckers, although not personally. You’ve seen the one with the tiny mic on the school's dance team and the one recording is in your Econ class. You never paid too much attention to them, but you thought they were as normal as boys can be at your age. Honestly, you didn’t think people at your school would participate in this sad and embarrassing TikTok trend. You’ve even spent hours laughing with your friends at the responses those people get, you never thought you'd be a victim.

“Why would I kiss a stranger?” you say after the longest 5 seconds of silence in your life.

“Please,” he says, “Anyone would want to kiss this.” 

“Please,” you mimic.

“Sorry,” Ryujin–your lifesaving best friend begins, “We really gotta get to class–”

“Kiss or slap,” Wooyoung says again.

“We’re on live,” his friend–San–whispers behind the telephone.

You simply put up the middle finger at the camera and slip your backpack off your shoulders, tired of these idiots for wasting your time. Ryujin seems to know what you’re gonna do (as in, completely obliterate the guy) and shakes her head at you.

“No, no,” You say to her and shooing her back, “he asked for it, so I’m gonna deliver.”

Wooyoung, who can probably guess what’s going to happen, feels slightly scared as he sees you stretch your arms and roll your head, “Hold on–you work out right?” he asked to gain some time before the inevitable.

“I’m on the volleyball team, Jung.”

“You do know me! See, not stranger,” He says in an attempt to sway your decision.

“Nope,” you say and point to the camera, “No backing out now, I made my decision cause I’m not kissing you.”

“It can be on the cheek! A peck!”

“Now, stick your head out for me,” you say as you get in position for optimal volleyball serving. Knees parallel to your shoulders, dominant hand in L shape, non-dominant hand straight out.

“I don’t have all day, Wooyoung.” He sighs and obeys your command. Squeezing his eyes shut, he stretches his neck out and begins to say a prayer that you don’t completely knock him out.

Yeosang is a manager for the volleyball team and San shares a class with you, so they’ve all seen you play and they know you’re a powerful strike. He begins to regret his decision in going up to you, especially when you looked stressed. That is–until he remembers the various (drunken)  conversations he’s had with his friends.

I’d let her slap me. Full force. He had said once in full simp-mode. Damn. Life really does bite you in the ass.

He feels like these last few seconds are too long, so he opens one eye only just in time for your hand to come flying into his cheek. Time moves in slow motion as his face recoils from the impact of your hand. His head turns and he manages to stop himself from falling to the side and instead spins on his heel and walks in a small circle before walking towards you again.

Your eyes widen slowly as if not meaning to create the thunder-clap sound on poor Jung Wooyoung. Ryujin calls out your name. San is sobbing in laughter. Wooyoung pouts and rubs his face where the handprint is fresh

“Ask me that question again,” you say as you regain your previous attitude. Wooyoung grins.

“Okay,” he says, “Would you kiss me or slap me?” He doesn’t know why he did that. He almost just died! Damn his crush for wanting to spend more time with you.

Your eyes widen and you falter in your stance. What is wrong with this dude? Is this a kink of his?you think in worry.  So, instead of slapping him twice, you begin laughing. You shake your head and pick up your backpack.

“You’re crazy, Wooyoung.” you say smiling at him and he practically beams, “Just stick to dancing, bro.” and then you turn around on your merry way to your class. Ryujin begins scolding you for your assault on the school's sweetheart.

San watches as Wooyoung watches you walk away. When you’re out of eye and ear-shot, he turns around to face his friend who was ordered to not actually record (he did) and says, 

“I think I’m in love.” in the dumbest expression.

[wack-ashimself]

Liking the first season of 'Torchwood' BUT...

See, I knew of the show 10 years ago. Watched some of it. Hated it. Forgot about it. But was watching like top 10 most shocking tv deaths (or something like that) and they had season 4 (did NOT know they had that many) of 'Torchwood' on there, saying how the latter two seasons were SOLID AF compared to the first 2 seasons.

And I am getting into it. On the 1st season finale. But I gotta say this show has so many plot holes (record setting for just 1 fucking season), and characters who make the wrong call EVERY TIME, you wonder...who am I supposed to cheer for? Cuz, by the numbers, Torchwood has hurt far more than it helped so far.

The lead-she cheated on her boyfriend (with EASE. It felt weird how easy it was for her being in a committed relationship), drugged him, erased his memory, lied to him, and then (Spoilers) got him killed. Also thru negligence, released an alien that killed a BUNCH of dudes.

The butler-he literally chanced cyber men taking over the world, and got an innocent genius doctor killed, cuz he was too much of a COWARD to let his clearly dying gf go.

Tech lady-She reads everyone's deepest darkest thoughts, then got mad when Jack sent an alien who had been murdering for centuries into the sun. She's not bad, per say, more...neutral. She's harmed the least, for sure. That's such a low bar, tho...

Captain Jack-The original reason I watched the show. I LOVED his character on Dr Who. But...this is not him. Not the same guy. Not the free spirited, happy, goofy, witty, always ready, near-god. No. This is an immortal having a mid mid mid life crisis cuz he's lived so long and WANTS to die. Seriously, cuz of his shit, and the lead's, this is like a partial drama. I will say, tho, he has had to make some TOUGH calls which did not make him well liked, but I respected him cuz you knew, deep down, it had to be done, and no one else was gonna do it*.

The doctor-In the finale I am on, he was fired. And I hope his character dies. I fucking hate him. I hate his face, his voice, his actions, his brain; everything. He convinces the noobie to cheat with him, after he basically mouth rapes her. He's angry ALL the time, yells at people thinking he's a genius when he's like the 3rd smartest. He 'falls in love' with a women, tries to demand her to stay, and gets all pity party after ONE WEEK WITH HER. Can you fall madly in love in a week? Sure. But suicidal and a threat to others cuz 'you're sad'? Go fuck yourself, you bitch. Oh, and he basically openly chooses to chance ending the world NOT because he wants to save his team mates (tho he claims that) but because he's tired of being a bitch to the time tear (or whatever the fuck they call it).

So...WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU CHEERING FOR? Jack is the only semi cool character, and he's still kinda an ass. They're ALL kinda...selfish, short sighted, fuckers.

But I will finish this series. Because, storywise, the themes and plots they got going, are HIGHLY original and almost always have 1-3 good twists I don't see coming. You don't understand: I have been exposed to so much media, I can predict most things I see within a short period of time (even whole movies from trailers). I'm SO good (or writing is THAT predictable) I actually can, based on context, guess, WORD FOR WORD some lines. Sometimes in real time. Not usually. But not too far off, either.

*I will say, the call the writers/show/characters are supposed to hate was Jack giving the child to the faeries. NO. GREAT call. Best call you could make. Every other call would have sucked. See-the girl was fucking evil. Sociopath. Straight up. Like the faeries. She hated everyone. Talked to no one, but the faeries. She was borderline evil. And the faeries straight up said if you don't give us the kid, we will kill en mass, starting with HER ENTIRE SCHOOL. And the girl WANTED to go. So...where's the problem giving up the kid? Her mom's sad? Who gives a shit. You just saved TONS of lives, an evil fucking kid is gone, and the fairies disappeared. Only one who really lose was the mom. Her long time boyfriend (he was an ass) and her kid: BOTH GONE, SAME DAY. That is cruel, but long run, genuinely, it's even best for her. Her boyfriend was abusing her kid behind her back, and her kid was cheering on the torture of kids. It's a win-win-win. Fuck you for trying to make me feel bad for him giving up the kid. She wanted to go, and I wanted her to go. Fuck her.

[carmenized-onions]

Oh my onions ,

This chapter was the first thing I saw when I opened my phone this morning and I immediately started reading cause when I tell u I have been waiting for it like crazy. I took a break and kept reading after my statistics class (master’s thesis kicking my ass thank u). 

It was such a relief of the tension in the previous chapters, some honest moments between Carm and Tony and also the reality and craziness of their family and faks being around. 

I am so curious to see how the DD and kids dynamic will unfold cause in season 3 I bawled my eyes out in the ice chips episode and I was so happy Sug is taking those baby steps towards redefining her relationship with her mom now that she herself is one. It would be nice to see some cathartic moments here too(obviously given the complexity of the relationships cause lord knows it’s fucked to the core). 

HELL YOU ARE MAKING ME MISS CHRISTMAS NOW I KINDA WISH WE HAD LIKE A WEEK TILL CHRISTMAS IRL CAUSE I HATE THE SUMMER. 

cuteness baby Michaela and Tony (hohoho make her and Carmy babysit pls pls) 

RICHIE THE MAN THAT U ARE. he totally is an old fashioned in my brain so I get the whiskey and peaches thought Tony u are right. 

Also …. Sydney baby I can sense the tension…. I see u getting off the floor … I SEE U NOT SAYING IT BACK SO …. 

Also side note I always listen to music while reading this to set the cinematic vibe yk yk and today I happened to listen to father John Misty’s “I love u honey bear” and “everything is free” and COINCIDENTALLY they match the vibe quite perfectly make sure to check them out if that’s your vibe, I feel the lyrics to these 2 songs were kinda fitting to this chapter (are they my personal soundtrack that played in this episode ?! Yes they are !) 

Can’t wait for next one u never fail! Can’t wait for the Christmas special if u will. ALSO 14 K I know u said for both our sanities it’s getting shorter but I’m so glad I saw a double digit no pressure my love Heheheheheh !!!! I gotta stop yapping stay safe till next one :)))))

AHHH I hope the next one isn't shit, we're dropping in like idk whenever I finish answering these last couple asks that i've let sit in my inbox for DECADES (a couple weeks). If I failed this time, no one tell me. Let's all let onion live in ignorance okay. a handful of times i was like "what if I simply restarted" at like 8k in.

But I've finished my final draft edits and I think it's fine. I think it's a very necessary chapter. It's like how I felt about Doing Too Much back in the day, but now that one's like, one of my faves in terms of how much it actually establishes--- ANYWAYS WHAT THE FUCK AM I TALKING ABOUT let's talk about your talkings

I hope your thesis went/is going well!! It's been so fucking long where is everyone on their life projects. Me personally I'm applying to OTHER FUCKING JOBS. Who wants to pay me to write CK full time? I'm so fr.

Chapter 14 will always be that girl when it comes to tension breaking. Like christ. Two Steps Back is my favourite chapter to reread because I love Mikey and Chip and I also think I am the most in my bag when I'm writing sad shit but Chapter 14 is always nice when I'm havin a ROUGH DAYY

I hope. When I do eventually cover DD. Which is tragically for me, quite soon, that I do it fucking any justice. I'm very thankful for the compliments comparing me to canon but MAN if anything is a test of my ability to understand these characters, Donna is my final fucking exam. I am so bad. At writing moms. Just in general. Ice Chips was truly like my favourite episode of the season too, so I hope I can do all the fucking insane dynamics of adulthood blended with motherhood justice. I can barely do them justice in my own life, YKNOW??? man.

Me and my roommates take christmas so fucking seriously. As we have for the past... 3 years. And now that this is our first christmas living together again, I truly start gift planning now. did someone say psychotic? NO. i just PUT THE DATES OF EVERY SALE OF EVERY IMPORTANT RELEVANT RETAILER IN MY PERSONAL CALENDAR. I'M NORMAL. FUCK YOU I'M NORMAL!! what i'm trying to say is, it's christmas whenever you decide it's christmas.

Ohhhh Michaela Blurb. Someone request it someone request it. I so hope in S4 they let that man be a good Uncle. I know he avoids family like the plague but come on man. its a BABY!!!!!

I hope everyone loves the drink menu I have planned, or I mean--- Sorry, the drink menu chip has planned. Jerimovich you whiskey peach bitch da MAN YOU ARE!!!

It's s o hard to not write like a little bit of tension with Syd. Like I can't not. It's so in my brain I cannot get squidink out of there someone call the police dont actually

i love. when an indie bitch enters my domain. i love father john misty!! I can so see those songs. There's a lot of songs I adored for this chapter. I think my most probably unagreed with would be I Like It, by DeBarge--- Listen, I know it's so cheery-- But that's exactly it. That is so Song That's Playing At The Wedding Outside The Bathroom While We Full Breakdown In Here. HEAR ME OUT OKAY

We are,,, at 15k for this chap. Chap 14 was 14k,,,, I feel like Chap 16 is not going to be 16k (but rather, horrifically, more), but it'd be cute to continue the pattern. I'll attempt to reduce myself.

Also:

I WISH THEY MADE A CHICAGO JOKE IN CANON, esp with Carmen's drive by about Musicals in ep2? Come on man. Chicago's (the city) like. top 3 of american cities for theatre. what the fuck. SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL ARTS???

i love chicago (the musical) (maybe also the city idk), so I had to give a little credit. And frankly, while writing that bit, I watched the moment back--- He did KIND OF RUN INTO IT, LIKE I HONESTLY THINK THAT WAS KIND OF AN ACCIDENT

anyways i'm gonna shut the fuck up now chapter out soon love you bye gotta answer more asks!!

[lesbiangummybearmafia]

Spoilers... on the last two episodes. More under the cut.

Ok first I have talk about the whole Turner situation. When she walked up to the whole Russell's clan like she thought she own the place on the arm of Colonel Sanders. I was like oh no she didn't... but well she did. I didn't like watching the color drain from Bertha's face though. Too bad she doesn't have Evil Queen magic, because she could of conjured up a fireball and throw it at her!! 😈

Wtf is Turners issue anyway with Bertha? Was it because she fired her, throw her out on her ear. Or could be revenge because she couldn't seduce George? Which it's like please bitch he has Bertha why oh why would he want your sorry ass. When she showed up in his bed naked I remembered thinking wow pathetic and desperate move there.

I wonder if Bertha going release the information of Turners ture identity out and ruin her? I think she may if Turner keeps messing with her!! Why do people mess with Bertha she will make them sorry, idiots.

Does anyone think that this new woman Oscar interested in could possibly be a lesbian? The reason I think this is Aurora mentioned that she has a female companion that goes everywhere with her. Now why we haven't met this female companion is beyond me. But it made me think, also wouldn't that be the best solution.

I'm really liking Marian with Dashiell Montgomery. I wasn't sure at first but so far I really like him. Now his daughter on the other hand, well she seems creepy and has anger management issues.

I'm so happy Peggy's back working for Aunt Agnes. I really liked her being at the house all the time.

They need to find a really good man for Gladys. Like her perfect dude! I really like her and I don't want to see them do her wrong.

Oh Larry needs to stop fucking Melania Trump!! Omg I thought that was such a slutty move when they bearly know each other she's already going to sleep with him. Especially back then. When Bertha wants it stopped and ask George to talk to Larry. I hate it when George all with the bullshit "boys will be boys" line. I started thinking about that, I can only imagine how different the world might be if men, young men in particular hadn't been allow to get away with shit just because they happen to be men. If they had been held up to the same high standard as women and young women back then. Larry can have sex with as many women as he wants as long it does bring shame to the family name. But Gladys couldn't even sleep with one guy before she's married or she would be considered wholly unworthy of marriage. 🙄 I really think everyone really needs to sleep with the partner you're going to marry!!! Especially then when being married was forever! Bad sex life for decades... no thank you!

But back to Larry and that woman whatever her name is. She gotta go, she's annoying, possessive, I'm sorry gonna say it too old for him (he looks like he's with his mom when they stand next to her. Never a good look). I don't know I just don't like her.

I personally want to watch Bertha crush Mrs. Astor like a bug. Bitch thinks people should just do whatever she said. No, Bertha don't play that way!!

Ok seriously George needs to buy Bertha a huge bouquet of flowers or some super lux piece of jewelry. Because no he didn't do anything wrong but he should of told her sooner so she didn't caught out by that gold diggin bitch. Who wouldn't of been able to make it out to be something it wasn't! Dumb ass doesn't he know anything happy wife, happy life! Because I do not like seeing Bertha upset, crying, sad, feeling like her husband may of betrayed her trust in one of the worst ways!! Just breaks my heart seeing her cry. 💔 Just want to smack George upside the head. Dude you have more money than God, do sometimes super special for your wife!!!

Oh Aunt Ada and the Preach man is just too sweet!! 😍 Aunt Agnes better not mess it up. We all know he's not up to Aunt Agnes standards, but I don’t think he needs to be. It's not like with Marian where that need for money is so great. With Aunt Ada, a man that's not rich wouldn't be an issue. I'm pretty sure the Preacher man makes enough for the both of them. Aunt deserves a romantic love in her life. She's so kind, sweet, loving, she just wants happiness for everyone she loves. She'd be friends with everyone if Aunt Agnes would let her. See she'll be the perfect preachers wife. I wish i.had an Aunt Ada in my life!