#but...Why?

[the-light-of-stars]

Ads on every other site: "hey wanna buy this new cool thing? you totally wanna buy this new cool thing. Come here and buy this new cool thing!"

Ads on tumblr:

[image description: A screenshot of a tumblr ad sponsored by WordAds. The header reads "Book of Hours; Horæ Deipare Virginis Marie B.V.M.. Hand painted & printed on vellum 1519 with 47 fill page engravings. Four copies located." Under the header it shows a black and white image of a medieval engraving. The engraving is busy with detail and depicts Jesus Christ leaning on a spear and cross. He is surrounded by various items: a crown of thorns, metal tongs, a whip, a bundle of brushwood, another spear whose spearhead is replaced with a tree, some coins, three stakes, as well as a tall plant stem with leaves. Additionally the image shows two floating human heads, a pair of open hands under the crown of thorns, a rooster on a grecian pillar and the holy grail, the latter positioned above Jesus' head on one beam of the cross he leans on. The engraving frames this scene under a stylized, decorative church arch, with a kneeling monk placed on the top left corner of the arch and a kneeling merchant on the top right. The entire engraving is bordered by more decorative elements, but the image used in the ad cuts them off. Below the image of the engraving is a blue link button. End description]

[gabrielora]

When I was younger and researching the autism diagnosis criteria and symptoms, I thought “oh I couldn’t POSSIBLY be autistic.” Because when I read “takes everything literally” I thought it literally meant EVERYTHING and I was like “I don’t take EVERYTHING literally, just most things!” And I just realized the other day that it didn’t actually mean EVERYTHING and that was an overstatement.

[girlstressed]

can’t stop smiling in inappropriate situations

[stargoyle]

"This person has a secret onlyfans!" "This artist does NSFW commissions!" "This author writes porn on the side!" I cannot begin to tell you how swag and awesome that is.

[thatdelusionalnerd]

ATTENTION TUMBLR

CHOCOLATE GUY'S BIRTHDAY IS IDES OF MARCH

[theboxfort]

Peace and love

[sadclowncentral]

i had a dream that time travel was invented and too many people choose to travel back in time to save the titanic from sinking (the question of whether unsinking of the titanic deserved so much attention in the face of human history was the subject of both heavy academic and online discourse), which caused a rift in the space-time-continuum that led to the titanic showing up indiscriminately all over the world’s oceans and sea in various states of sinking.

this caused a lot of issues both in terms of fixing said space-time-continuum and in terms of nautical navigation, and after a long and heavy battle in the international maritime organization it was decided that the bureaucratic burden of dealing with this was to be upon Ireland, much to their dismay. the Irish Government then released an app for all sailors and seafarers so they could report titanic sightings during their journeys, even though they heavily dissuaded you from reporting them given the paperwork it caused.

anyway i woke up with a clear image of the app in my head and needed to recreate it for all of you:

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[girldraki]

[versacethotty]

this is fucking frying me rn 😭😭😭

[fangs-4-fags]

remembering the time i drunkenly told a stranger i was a trans man and he started going off about alpha sigma and beta males and how each one was equally important no matter what anyone says and that i shouldn't feel pressured to be a strong alpha male because emotionally intelligent beta males were just as important

[librarianpirate]

[evidently-endless]

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

[thelaurenshippen]

watching bridgerton and obviously there were a lot of things wrong with the way socializing has worked in the past, but honestly the idea of a "calling hour" is so appealing. office hours for friendship. you can show up unannounced at my home between 1 and 3pm. you must leave by 3pm. I may give you a pastry. lets bring that back

[great-and-small]

Nobody throws shade like a biologist with burning hatred for invasive plants

[striving-artist]

The best piece of advice I ever got was not meant as advice, but as an edict. If I was going to threaten people as a joke, it had to be so far out of proportion with what happened that it would be obvious I was joking. This changed how I expressed frustration with others. It then changed how I expressed frustration with myself.

Not “I’m going to hit you” but “I am going to buy a tuna sub from the gas station and hide it under the seat of your car”

Not “I’m going to kill myself” but “I am going to walk into the desert and let the scarabs take me”

The other side then happened. When I mess something up, instead of saying it’s bad and perpetuating negative thoughts, swing hard the other way.

Not “this art is terrible” but “this shall be framed and mounted on the wall in my museum exhibition as testament to the suffering I had to overcome”

Have been doing this since high school. It was my drama teacher who asked me to please stop scaring the actors. The other half of the edict was that I had to say it in a polite tone, and end it with either please or thank you.

Life changing. 10/10 Mr Muëller. Highly reccomend.