#c: victorious survivor

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Monster from the deep

Self-Aware! BSD x SAGAU Imposter crossover

Self-Aware! Howard Phillips Lovecraft x GN! Reader

Description: Waters of Teyvat become dangerous. Something is destroying ships. Dottore is asked to kill the monster.

Warning: OOC. Mentions of insanity, torture, religious fanaticism, animal death. Dehumanisation (Dottore refers to Reader as 'it'). Lovecraft is soft protective yandere towards Reader. English is my second language.

A/N: , if someone was waiting for full fanfic about Self-Aware! BSD X SAGAU! Imposter crossover, here we are.

______

To: Lord Harbinger, Il Dottore

Lord Harbinger,

I swear on the greatness of All Creator, if situation didn't call for that, I won't write this letter, but, I am afraid, our nations are in a dire situation.

As you must know, another ship was destroyed. Another deal fell through. Liyue will not be able to send a shipment of minerals to Snezhnaya. We lost another ship, cargo and ship's crew.

At least, until we finally have found a survivor.

He was found on a lifeboat near Liyue's shores three weeks after the ship sink. He was dying of hunger and thirst.

And he has gone completely mad.

Sailor was starting in the distance, repeating again and again.

"Ephaiagl ah mglw'nafh. C' ah mglw'nafh."¹

At first, we thought, that he was delusional, that we could save him, if we get him in better shape.

Yet, he refused to eat or drink.

He only stared in the distance. Talking and talking.

He didn't let anyone inside his hospital room.

He became aggressive every time someone tried to peek inside.

He did come out, but, always tried to return to his room as soon as he can.

We forced him to eat and drink, to keep him alive. We gave him every medicine we could think of.

He didn't become better. And he didn't become worse.

And tragedy strikes.

All-loving Creator were visiting the hospital. Their Grace light patients' mood. They felt better, after seeing Their Holiness.

One of the patients, who was staying here with his dog, feel happy for the first time in last days, after seeing All Creator. He dog disappeared, and he was feeling terrible, but, after seeing Their Holiness, they forgot their sorrows.

And All-loving Creator met mad sailor.

For the first time in weeks, he got silent.

He was staring at Creator, unblinking and unmoving.

And he committed a sin.

He dared to attack Their Holiness.

Screaming words in the strange language.

"N'ghftdrn! ah'legeth n'ghftdrn!²"

We killed sinner.

And inside his hospital room, we found a lost dog. What remains of him.

We also found this in his room.

[Photo is attached to letter. The wall of the hospital room is covered in red letters. Words makes no sense, except ones, that are written under the red drawing of an octopus-like monster. "BRING DOTTORE TO HIM"]

Lord Harbinger, It seems, that it's the monster, that destroying ships. We have heard about your victory over Ursa the Drake. Perhaps, you could try to defeat the Sea Monster as well? Liyue will send millelith and our best sailors to assist you. It will take time, because Liyue captains refuse to go to sea, so the expedition will reach Snezhnaya by land.

Wishing for an eternal reign of All Creator.

Ningguang, The Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing

_______

Il Dottore, Second Harbinger, One of the Creator's Personal Physicians, was standing on the deck of the ship. They were in the middle of the sea, moving along the trade route from Snezhnaya to Liyue.

Everything was quiet.

No signs of a monster.

Sailors were doing their job. Fatui and millelith were on observation duty, trying to catch a sign of a monster.

Yet nothing was happening.

Dottore feel anger. The damn creature asked for him, yet, it didn't show up. Cowardly vermin.

Few months ago, after the low-live Imposter disappeared, the strange monster appeared in Teyvat waters. It attacked ships, making any sort of trades not just dangerous, but straight up impossible.

Nothing could stop that monster. And no witnesses remain.

Everytime they killed another sea monster they thought, that they finally succeed.

And, in a few days, another ship got sailed.

Mora was low, and Pantalone became angrier and angrier.

The trades became impossible, and people start loosing jobs, factories started to close down.

And, finally, they have a lead, to what they are looking for. And this thing decides to hide.

Dottore clenched his fists. Everything went to Abyss after Imposter escaped.

His thoughts were interrupted by a scream.

"Man overboard!"

______

A saved man called himself Lovecraft.

And he was strange.

A tall, gaunt man, was towering above everyone on the ship. His eyes looked bored and tried. Almost empty. He hardly talked to anyone, preferring to stay on his own.

The only time Dottore saw any kind of emotion from Lovecraft, was when Fatui soldiers, after a few drinks, were discussing The Imposter.

________

"Oh, I am so jealous of Lord Harbinger! He managed to pay a part in punishing the Imposter!" proclaimed Fatui Agent (Dottore didn't care about his name), waving a mug, that was filled to the brim with alcohol, in the air. Other Fatui and millelith solders cheered.

"Yea!"

"He showed them their place!"

"Dirty parasite, how dare they impersonate Their Holiness."

The night was full of alcohol and talks.

The agent, who started talking about the Imposter, turned towards Dottore.

"Lord Harbinger, please, tell us, how you avenge Their Holiness."

Dottore rolled his eyes. The rest of the Fatui, sailors and millelith joined Agent in asking for a story. Well, one time, he can entertain them.

Dottore put down his glass of wine, cleared his throat and start his tale.

___________________________

The Dungeon was dark and dirty.

Still, too good for a creature, that were contained here.

Dottore walked down the corridor, that leads to an isolated part of the dungeon.

In the small cell, full of torture devices, it were kept.

Exact double of Creator.

A dirty heretic.

Braces on its legs had forced it to remain in a standing position all night. Its eyes were unfocused, due to a lack of sleep and enduring intense pain.

Its lying lips and mouth were now covered in burns and blisters. Before Dottore came here, the high ranking church members came, to clean its soul by pouring boiling water in its mouth.

"Well, look at this squalor. Not so confident now, are we?" with mocking concern, asked Dottore. Sinner flinched. It strained to speak with its burned throat, as it managed to croak out a response.

"want home... to friends..."

Dottore mockingly pet its head. He grabbed the fist, full of its hair, and pull. Sinner let out a cry of pain.

"Aw! This creature has friends? Well, when we are finished with it, we will go after its friends."

Dottore let go of its hair, taking a step back. He took a metal instrument from one of the small tables in the cell.

"Let me give you something, Sinner. Nice salted water for your mouth. So you won't say even more of your heresy."

_____

The crowd roared. They were cheering for Dottore.

"Hooray for Lord Harbinger! Let Creator bless you!"

"I bet, it were crying like a dirty pig, when salted water got into its mouth. Oh, my bad. I shouldn't be rude towards pigs, by comparing it to them!"

"It got what is deserved."

Dottore scoff, pleased, with the reaction.

And he felt a gaze on him.

Howard, who was sitting in the corner, looked at him.

The look was full of hate and disgust.

Howard, suddenly, became blurry.

In the next moment, the ship was cut in half.

_______

Ground was moving up and down.

The ground felt like wood.

The night was cold.

Dottore woke up. With half-closed eyes, he tried to stand up. But the ground was still moving. And his clothes start getting wetter. He felt the scent of salt.

Dottore finally opened his eyes.

He was on the raft.

In the middle of the sea.

And no ship or other crew members were in sight.

Dottore felt anger. He wasn't sure, how he got here, but, he swears to Tsaritsa and All Loving Merciful Creator, that he will find the person, who put him here, and will destroy them.

Something swam under the raft.

And someone jumped from the water, landing next to Dottore, almost sinking the raft.

Dottore was ready to curse the idiot, who almost drowned him, when he saw it.

Lovecraft was completely wet, but, somehow, dark navy, slightly wavy hair didn't look wet at all. The dull, blank, dark gray eyes met with Dottore's red eyes.

"You hurt them." there were no emotions in this voice. The man reached towards Dottore's head. A large hand grabbed Dottore's face.

A black empty holes replaced Lovecraft eyes. Octopus tentacles squeezed around Dottore.

Dottore was afraid. His fear was strange. Like it was something, that came from his ancestors. Something, that he would feel, even he was a newborn right now.

Dottore managed to gather enough power to attack.

Yet, the attack didn't do anything.

It didn't even scratch Lovecraft.

Howard put his face near Dottore's.

"You have hurt them. And I am their friend. And I will share some nice salted water with you."

Dottore was thrown in the water.

Waves closed above his head.

____

Dottore was sinking.

And a huge, octopus-like monster were circling around him.

Huge, greenish. With countless tentacles.

Monster stared at Dottore.

It became blurry again.

It changed its looks again.

One tentacle squeezed Dottore's neck and forced him to look straight at the monster.

"Ymg' lloig ah mglw'nafh.³"

Dottore looked at the monster.

And screamed.

Seawater filled his mouth.

______

After leaving Dottore near Liyue's shores, Lovecraft start swimming to their base.

To a hidden cave, where a portal, that leads back to their new world, were located.

Lovecraft reached the cave in a matter of minutes.

He took a special trap from the water, where three kois for you were swimming.

Lovecraft stepped into the portal.

_____

You were standing near a big fish tank. You carefully observed Teyvat fish, that Lovecraft brought you every time he returned from Teyvat.

You flinch, remembering Teyvat. You didn't have physical scars, thanks to Yosano, but, you have plenty of mental scars.

You heard familiar heavy steps.

Lovecraft walked inside the room. He noticed you and walked closer. He holds the trap with fishes towards you.

"For you."

You mumble a little'thank you' and took the trap, immediately releasing fiches into the fish tank.

Then, Howard hold something else towards you.

A familiar mask.

You froze, looking at it.

"For you. I made him lose his mind. He won't hurt anyone. He will never hurt you. I won't let him."

With shaking hands, you took Dottore's mask. Tears run down your cheeks.

"Th-thank you... Howard..."

A big hand carefully cups your cheeks. Lovecraft wiped away your tears.

"Don't cry, Treasured Guiding Light. No one will hurt you. And the ones, who dared to hurt you, will pay."

____

"Y' ahnythor ah'mglw'nafh!⁴"

"He doesn't sleep. He doesn't eat. He doesn't drink. He's only howling this words, if it's even words."

"Y' ahnythor ah'mglw'nafh!⁴"

"Let's call for the All Creator. Their Holiness might help."

______

"Y' ahnythor ah'mglw'nafh!⁴"

"Someone, put a gag in his mouth! He is disturbing other patients!"

"Y' ahnythor ah'mglw'nafh!⁴"

"AAAAAH!!! Dear Creator! He bit my fingers off!"

"Y' ahnythor ah'mglw'nafh!⁴"

"He is getting away! Lord Dottore, stop!"

"Y' ahnythor ah'mglw'nafh! Ymg' ahnythor ah'mglw'nafh!⁵"

"He is attacking Creator! Stop him!"

_____

Dottore was standing in the middle of the same cell, where you were kept in back then. He was forced to stay in standing position. His red eyes were bloodshot. His mouth was covered in burns and blisters. He was staring at the wall.

His screams were filling the night. He doesn't care about burned throat. The only important thing in his life were the words he was repeating.

"Y' ahnythor ah'mglw'nafh!⁴"

______

In a real world, you were sitting next to Lovecraft.

Both of you were eating chocolate ice cream.

You leaned against Lovecraft's side.

Big hand softly pet your head.

"Y' ahnythor ymg' nnn, gokar'luh. Y' ymg' ephainnn, gokar'luh.⁶"

You smile slightly.

One day, you will heal completely.

And your friends will be with you for every moment of your recovery. And for every moment after you heal.

________

¹"Future is dead. We are dead" R'Lyehn (Cthulhu language) I was using this translator.

²"Monster! Lying monster!"

³"Your mind is dead."

⁴"I must die"

⁵"I must die! You must die!"

⁶"I must protect you, treasure. I will protect you, treasure."

______

Tag list: @withered-blossoms

[gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan]

Struck by an Arrow from Eros

Author's note: Debut of Malum Caedo in Blueberry Pie

Summary: Malum is doing is duties- and heads from one place to another and spots a certain Serf and feels like some one just struck him in the chest near his hearts

Warning: Let me know if I need to add anything.

Next

Tagged: @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @egrets-not-regrets, @kit-williams,

Tagged: @sleepyfan-blog, @ms--lobotomy @bispecsual @thevoidscreams

Tagged: @i-am-a-dragon34, @gra93fruit-blog

You had heard of Sternguard Veterans, they are elite battle brothers who help cover their brothers when they have to do a strategic, fighting retreat.

Rare as it is for the Ultramarines to cede ground and not fight and win the day. But sometimes, for the good of the whole, a retreat is called in, and the Sternguard ensure that whoever it is that made the might 13th chapter retreat regrets it immensely.

You have heard that Sternguard veterans, once deployed on the battlefield have turn the tides from a fighting retreat to victory. You had heard of at least one Sternguard veteran who had fought and won against a planet full of Chaos.

That Sternguard veterna's name is Malum Caedo. He had finished a mission, that you had heard had been started by the previous Captain of the Second Company, Titus.

Who had been... acquired by the Inquisition for a while, but that had been before the Awakening of their Primarch. Who had insisted that all of the Sons of Guilliman who are Loyal be returned to Ultramar, to swear oaths to him.

You were but a mere Serf, but even you had heard that the Primach had gotten what he wanted. Even if some of the other factions in the Imperium had been loathe to give up the Sons of the 13th.

Sternguard Veteran Malum Caedo had been one such individual, or so you had heard. Because he survived what had been deemed unsurvivable.

The Inquisition demanding him, among others, a chapter of gleaming silver and blue helmed statues that watched them. Apparently, Primarch Guilliman did not like how many of his sons had been... ill-treated by the other factions for Surviving the battles with Chaos and still Loyal.

You are shaken from your thoughts when you hear the tromp of Ceramite on ship floors. You look around and spot the large for in blue and gold and you shift where you are to give the Lord Angel more room.

As you bow slightly to the Lord Angel, you continue to do your tasks. Humming to yourself softly, a song that you had been taught as a young child that helped the work go by faster.

You don't immediately notice that the Astarte has stopped moving and he is watching you. You feel something- a weight, lightly touching you.

You shiver and look around for the source, knowing that you aren't being squished by something you notice the Lord Angel watching you.

"Lord Angel," You say with a bow, "Is there something I can do to aid you?"

You notice his helmet has golden laurels gracing the crown of his head. That means an Honorable Veteran. Survivor of many battles, at least you think that's the case.

He is watching you, head tilted as he watches you and his voice rumbles out deep and smooth, "that song... it is familiar to me."

"If I bothered you with my humming, I apologize, Lord Angel," you reply nervously.

"Your voice is pleasant with music," Malum Caedo said, shaking his head a little. "It wasn't bothering me."

"Thank you for the compliment, Lord Angel," You reply flattered by the compliment.

Some of the Lord Angels could be highly temperamental, Lord Sicarius face coming to mind with his thunderous scowls and stinging words. You still don't know what it was that you had done to offe d the Illustrious Second Captain so.

Lord Ventris said that it was because his older brother, the Second Captain, Sicarius didn't know how to process... then he'd fade off and shake his head, and a spark of mischievous light would appear in his eyes, and the Lord Angel would scoop you up affectionately and nuzzle you. You would squeak and fluster at the affection, and then Captain Sicarius would stomp by and snarl at the younger Ultramarine for being uncouth.

[whencyclopedia]

Sand Creek Massacre

The Sand Creek Massacre (29 November 1864) was a slaughter of citizens of the Arapaho and Cheyenne nations at the hands of the Third Colorado Cavalry of US Volunteers under the command of Colonel John Chivington, resulting in casualties estimated at over 150 in the Native American encampment, which was in compliance with the policies of US officials.

Black Kettle (l. c. 1803-1868), chief of the Southern Cheyenne, had consistently sought peace with the White settlers since signing the Fort Laramie Treaty of 1851. He rejected the call to war of others – including Chief Tall Bull of the Dog Soldiers and Roman Nose (Cheyenne Warrior) – and continued to trust in the assurances of the representatives of the US government that the Cheyenne would be left in peace. These representatives were under the impression that Black Kettle spoke for all the Cheyenne in signing the Fort Laramie Treaty of 1851 or the Treaty of Fort Wise in 1861, but he had no control over other chiefs like Tall Bull (l. 1830-1869) or Roman Nose (l. c. 1830-1868), who continued to resist the encroachment of Euro-Americans on their lands.

Hostilities escalated in June 1864 with the Hungate Massacre, in which the killing of a White family was attributed to Cheyenne warriors. John Evans (l. 1814-1897), then governor of Colorado, sent word to the Native communities that any who were friendly toward the United States should seek safety near Fort Lyon, and all others would be considered hostiles. Black Kettle – along with other chiefs including White Antelope (l. c. 1789-1864), Little Wolf (l. c. 1820-1904), and Chief Niwot (Left Hand) of the Southern Arapaho (l. c. 1825-1864) accepted the invitation and moved their people to Big Sandy Creek, about 40 miles (65 km) northwest of Fort Lyon.

On the morning of 29 November 1864, Colonel John Chivington (l. 1821-1894) led the Third Colorado Cavalry in a surprise attack on the encampment – even though Black Kettle, as instructed, was flying the American flag and the white flag above his lodge – slaughtering over 150 innocent people, mostly young children, women, and the elderly. Afterwards, Chivington claimed this engagement was a great military victory against an armed alliance of Cheyenne and Arapaho until reports of survivors – like the Cheyenne-Anglo interpreter George Bent (l. c. 1843-1918) – and soldiers like Captain Silas Soule (l. 1838-1865) – contradicted him.

The ensuing investigation established the conflict as a massacre of innocents with only a small armed force of Cheyenne and Arapaho warriors in the camp killed defending themselves and their families. Still, the event was designated a "battle" by the press of the time and is often still referred to as such in the present day. In 2007, the area of the massacre was declared a National Historic Site, and, in 2014, Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper gave an apology to the descendants of those murdered at Sand Creek; but the policies that made that massacre possible have never been acknowledged, and the US government has never offered a similar apology.

Background

The California Gold Rush of 1848 sent scores of miners and their families through the lands of the Arapaho, Cheyenne, Sioux, and others, disrupting their lives, scattering – and killing – the buffalo (the primary food source of the Plains Indians), and destroying the prairie with their wagons and cattle. Clashes between the Natives and settlers led to the Fort Laramie Treaty of 1851, establishing territories for Native American nations in the region which, according to this treaty, the United States had no claim to.

Black Kettle, and other chiefs, signed the treaty trusting in the word of the US delegates that they would not be bothered any further. The treaty was never honored by the White settlers or their government, however, and was completely discarded in 1858 during the Pike's Peak Gold Rush. When the Natives again fought to defend their lands, another treaty was offered – the Treaty of Fort Wise of 1861 – which the US government and its citizens paid no more attention to than the one they had presented to the people of the Plains in 1851. The Dog Soldiers – one of the military societies of the Cheyenne – responded to the invasion with armed resistance under their leader Tall Bull while Roman Nose led his own band in defense of Cheyenne lands in what came to be known as the Colorado War (1864-1865).

Fort Laramie Treaty 1868

U.S. National Archives and Records Administration (Public Domain)

Although Black Kettle – and other 'peace chiefs' – rejected the course taken by Tall Bull and Roman Nose, they could do nothing to stop them. The Cheyenne had a representational government, the Council of Forty-Four, which made decisions for the whole nation, but the chief of each band was free to accept or reject their conclusions. The council had nothing to say regarding declarations of war which were the responsibility of individual chiefs of military societies. Black Kettle's signature on a treaty did not in any way bind Tall Bull to recognize it.

Continue reading...

[swiftieblyth]

Troublesome Twin

Part Two: The Reaping

Warning list-

hunger games warning, abusive family, mother died in childbirth with the twins, Arachne, Coriolanus Snow, Dr. Gaul, violence, and murder.

I think that’s all, let me know if there’s more!

Word count- 1036

“How tantalizing to see all your shining young faces on this auspicious day,” Dr. Gaul stated. “I am Dr. Volumnia Gaul, your humble Head Gamemaker, in charge of the War Department and all its affiliated concerns. I have broken from my laboratory today to examine you.” She explained, looking directly at Y/N, making her shiver and squeeze Coryo’s hand in hers. “The leaders of the next generation. I won’t be around forever, after all.” She laughed. “And now, to end that, I am honored to introduce to you the creator of the Hunger Games themselves. Dean Casca Highbottem. 

“Uh,” Dean Highbottem let out, stopping to take a sip of his morphling before making his way to the front of the room. “Select students, faculty, and, of course, Dr. Gaul, I have summoned you all here today for the 10th annual Reaping Ceremony in which we choose two children from each district to throw into the Capitol Arena to fight to the death in the Hunger Games.” 

“I can’t believe they still allow him to speak in public,” Clemmie whispered to Coryo and Y/N.

“And here sit our own 25 top prospects all waiting to hear the results of hard study in this prestigious institution. Eager to learn who’s won the Plinth Prize, no doubt. And a golden future. However,” Highbottem’s words made both Coryo and Y/N catch their breaths, holding eachothers hands as tight as they could. I am here to tell you that there has been a change this year. One final assignment to prove your worth. Because the esteemed citizens of the Capital have grown bored of the Games and simply aren't watching anymore. And if the Games are to continue at all, there must be an audience. So, Head Gamemaker Dr. Gaul has stepped in to… incentivize patriotic values with her own unique flair, starting with you. The Plinth Prize will no longer be determined by who has the best grades. But by who is the best mentor in the Hunger Games.”

“What?” The students all asked. 

Y/N looked over and saw Coryo sitting in disbelief at Dean Highbottem. 

“This is a brand new role. As the Reaping progresses live, I will allocate each district tribute a Capitol mentor behind the scenes, one who must just persuade them to perform for the cameras. Obviously, the best mentor will be the one whose tribute wins the Games.”

“What if I get a pathetic runt girl from one of the poor districts, like 8 or 12? They’re just gonna die in two minutes like they did last year and the year before.” Arachne asked.

“Your role is to turn these children into spectacles, Ms. Crane. Not survivors.” Highbottem explained. “Victory in the Games is only one of our considerations. Your entire future rests on this last project.”

“Wait,” Y/N let out, gaining everyone's attention. “There are only 24 tributes, and 25 of us.”

“Right you are, Miss. Crane. There will be one unlucky student that won’t even have a chance at the prize.”

“Well, don't you think that's extremely unfair?” Y/N stated. “You called 25 students here when you only need 24, don’t you see how ridiculous that is? To give hope to 25 students when really on 24 have a chance. How are you even going to pick said ‘unlucky’ one, huh? Are you just going to let the bottom of the 25 go, or are you going to select it at random. Or maybe even choose your least favorite student, because it’s all about you isn’t it? It’s all about you and not at all about any of your students who have worked night and day, sick and healthy for this! Students who–”

“Love,” Coryo whispered, stopping her. “You gotta stop before something happens.”

“You should listen to your friend, Miss. Crane. Wouldn’t want someone beating you for it later,” Highbottem stated, making Coryo have to hold on tighter to Y/N to contain her. “Oh, and I must tell you that anyone caught cheating to give their tributes an unfair advantage… will just have no future at all.” Music started playing, gaining everyone's attention for the reaping. “Oh! Here we go. Let the Reaping Ceremony begin.”

Highbottom started reading the list making Coryo and Y/N sit nervously as they waited to hear their names. When they got to the last name they knew what fate awaited them. There was only one more tribute left and she wasn’t enough to get the money for whoever got her. 

“Oh. You’ll be happy about this, Miss. Crane,” Highbottom called to Arachne. “The ‘runt girl’ from District 12, she belongs to Coriolanus Snow. Which means. That you, Miss. Y/N Crane are the unlucky one.”

“I should have known.” Y/N spit. “We all know that Coriolanus and I aren’t at the bottom. Coriolanus is at the top, but you treat him as if he is 24 and I am 25 because we are your least favorite! You hate us so much that you decided to make one of us not have a tribute and the other one of us to have a girl who doesn’t even have a chance of surviving in that arena!” Y/N was cut off by the doors slamming open, and her father along with some of his servants storming into the room.

Y/N already knew what was coming and didn’t try to fight it. She looked at Coryo who knew as well until she was lifted by the arms and carried out of the building. 

          “What were you thinking?” Mr. Crane yelled, slapping Y/N across the cheek when they got to their house. “You disrespected the dean, you disrespected Dr. Gaul, you disrespected your classmates, and you disrespected Panem!” He yelled each word in between a punch to her face, making bruises already starting to form. “You embarrassed your name, your sister, your brother, me, and you embarrassed your mother!”

       “Mother’s not here!” Y/N yelled, tears forming in her eyes as she tasted the metallic taste of blood.

        “And whose fault is that?” Mr. Crane yelled, pushing her to the ground of her bedroom, closing the door and locking it.

[dragonflight203]

Some thoughts as I replay Mass Effect 1:

-Hackett is one of the ones to recommend Shepard as a spectre. No wonder he feels comfortable calling them up for missions through the game. He probably feels Shepard owes them a few.

-One of Joker's first lines is that he doesn't like having spectres on board. That tune changes quite quickly.

-The game eases into aliens. For the few couple of hours the player only interacts with humans and one turian. Another turian is shown in a cutscene. Geth, which are basically advanced robots, are enemies you can kill without guilt. It's not until the citadel that the game really embraces alien diversity. Bioware's wariness on how comfortable players would be about aliens shows very clearly.

-During the Eden Prime drop scene Kaidan is the one to ask about survivors. Of course he is. Kaidan, you paragon.

-Everyone learned about aliens in school. Everyone is an adult. First contact was 30 odd years ago. How exactly did the curriculum get updated so quickly that everyone learned about this in school? Bioware, your timelines make me cry.

-Manuel definitely got hit by the beacon at some point. Interesting that he also saw Saren, but his speech is so confusing no one realizes he's talking about a second turian.

-Nihlus may feel differently about humans than Saren, but he is Saren's student. He skipped all the survivors and made a beeline to the beacon. He's not cruel, but he is efficient. The beacon is the priority.

-Nihlus, we hardly knew ya. Every time I replay it's always surprising how short his screen time is. And those faces when he interacts with Saren... Bioware did a very good job on making him nonhuman but still recognizably expressive. The difference in facial expressions between ME1 and MEA are light years.

-Benezia is clearly used to Saren's tantrums. She dodged like it's something she does on a regular basis.

-Kaidan, about informing the Council about Saren: "Makes sense. They'd probably like to know he's not working for them anymore." Love this man.

-Kaidan only gets migraines. Having experienced one recently, that's a big only. And he's soldier that's frequently in combat. I hope the future has excellent pain killers.

-For this playthrough I'm planning to have Tali and Liara as companions, so I'm skipping everything on the Citadel that isn't necessary or unique to the first visit until I pick them up. It makes the game feel quite different. I usually spend hours on the Citadel during my first visit; this time I'm leaving quite quickly.

-Pallin's skepticism about humanity makes more sense when Harkin is considered. Harkin was the first human in C-Sec, he's corrupt as hell, and humanity did a lot behind the scenes to protect him. Pallin's big on following the law no matter what. No wonder he's not impressed by humanity.

-Anderson has extreme tunnel vision about Saren. From the minute he's mentioned he's convinced Saren's behind it and he's doing it solely out of hatred of humanity. He repeatedly brings this up.

Meanwhile, in the game I get the vibe that Saren doesn't care about humanity too much. He doesn't like them, he might antagonize them if the opportunity comes up, but they're not worth the bother to put actual effort into tormenting. Humanity just isn't that important to him.

-Love those silent interactions between council members where they just look at each other. Again, the difference between ME1 and MEA is stark.

-Going by the Geth core Tali retrieved, Saren considers Eden Prime a victory. The tantrum he threw indicates otherwise. Does he really consider it a victory, or is that just a speech he gave to motivate the Geth?

-At this time, I'm not convinced Anderson believes in the Reapers. He still thinks it's Saren, he just doesn't think it's worth debating Shepard on it.

-I genuinely like Udina as a character. I'd hate to be around him, but he's determined to do a good job, pragmatic, and truly devoted to humanity. Also nice to have someone around who pushes back against Shepard. ME3 wastes him.

-Garrus mentions that he rose in the ranks through C-Sec. What was his actual rank? Detective or the like, I presume. Pallin knows who he is, and that's impressive considering the number of officers there are. Even with Castis as a father.

-Tali mentions Quarian overseers to the Geth when speaking to Shepard. The game definitely pushes the slavery parallels with the Geth, even in ME1. "Overseer" is not the first term I'd use for supervising machinery. Or maybe that's the American cultural bias showing through.

-Everyone info dumps in ME1. Everyone. Enjoyable, but a bit exhausting at the start of the game when it feels continuous.

-Liara in ME1 is a completely different character than in ME2 and ME3. I'm hesitant to consider the change natural growth. It's a shame, because ME1 Liara has quite a bit of potential. They didn't need to rework her character for the later games.

-First time playing on Insanity, and I'm surprised at the lack of trouble I've had so far. Everyone says the battle with the krogan at the end of Therum is difficult, but I only died once. I might regret this later, when I get to the Uncharted worlds...

Edit: Fix spellings

[leavingautumn13]

some outfit ref and miscellaneous sketches for my sole survivor, nora navarre (character tag here, and here on my fanfic blog, @new-eyes-extra-colors).

notes and character stuff under the cut

GENERAL

demi/bi romantic, asexual, born in late summer (virgo)

nora is 33 at the beginning of the fic and has been working as a public defender since she graduated law school (she did work as a prosecutor very briefly, but didn't vibe with it and went back to her old job)

she was born in arizona and only moved to massachusetts once she decided to go to college when she was 18. she would like to travel, but never really got the opportunity.

she comes from a mixed indigenous family (specifically, potawatomi/french) and has two younger sisters (gene and grace), is estranged from her mother, and mostly gets updates on her family from her grandmother and aunt

she met her husband (dana) while working as a waitress in college. he was studying to be a doctor at the time. they were friends for several years before becoming a couple

she's very dedicated to her work at the expense of her social life, having only a few friends (and most of them are her husband's). she prefers to stay at home and garden, run, read, bake, or go hiking instead of socializing, and despite working as a lawyer dreads any sort of attention at a gathering.

FASHION SENSE

she wears the vault suit quite a lot out of practicality--it fits well and is durable and easy to wear under things. she typically wears it under a coat, or under a sweater and jeans in colder months. under the suit she wears a tank top and leggings if it's cold.

for casual wear, she prefers dresses with a sweetheart type top, and wears midi dresses or sundresses. around sanctuary, she wears flats or goes barefoot in the summer months.

BODY + SCARS

she keeps her hair very long, only cutting it to trim split ends and keep her fringe a certain length. the fringe is originally from when she styled it into victory rolls before she decided she didn't like them, but did like the way fringe framed her face.

she ran track and cross country in high school and still runs as exercise. she has long, muscular legs and good core strength, but not much upper body strength. once she starts using a rifle her arms become more toned, but she still isn't that strong.

she regularly shaved her legs prewar, but after the vault no longer has the means. it takes some getting used to for her

she wears little jewelry--just gold hoop earrings and her wedding ring. once she's able to retrieve her husband's dog tags, she wears them and his wedding ring as a necklace.

the c-section scar from shaun's birth is the only major scar she had prewar

early to mid story scars: the scar on her upper left arm is from the first time she was shot. it was a 5mm round from a sentry bot which fortunately only got her once. she also has a radiation burn in the shape of a handprint from when a glowing one grabbed her.

late to post story scars: about three quarters of the way through my fic, she's in a vertibird crash and suffers severe burns and shrapnel wounds over the right side of her body, from about mid thigh up to her shoulder. she has some scars on her cheek and neck from this also, as well as a big scar from a piece of metal that cut a chunk out of her cheek. she almost lost her right eye. her leg was also badly broken in the crash, and she underwent a procedure to pin her bones back together, which left surgery scars along the side of her thigh and front of her shin. she has some trouble walking after this, and can no longer run the way she used to. she also wears a knee brace on her right leg.

OTHER

as far as fighting goes, she prefers not to, and tries to end every situation she can as nonviolently as possible. she can't fight hand to hand at all, and prefers to stay far away from enemies and snipe.

the companions she travels with most are nick, piper, preston, deacon, x6-88, and of course dogmeat, but she spends time and is friends with all of them.

[burst-of-iridescent]

I sent you the last question. and although I'm not going to argue, there are some points I should clarify.

«that you ship kat.aang.»

You're wrong, I don't ship kataang. I agree that this is a good ending to the show if the creators wanted a romantic ending, because kataang is a story, supported by multiple references and symbolism, about two children, two survivors of the genocide who fought for victory shoulder to shoulder and now go forward together as partners to build a new and better world. this is a very beautiful ending, embodying all the main themes of the show. But I am not an active shiper and would quite agree to an ending in which kataang would not be canonically confirmed.

«what a pity that they didn't end the show with a beautiful, strong, intimate friendship that provided the perfect foundation for a romance to develop.»

Yes, just like the show ended with Zuko's beautiful, strong, intimate friendship with Sokka, Toph and Aang. Zuko and Katara ended the show as friends, but there was never anything in their relationship that Zuko didn't have with Sokka, Toph, or Aang. With Aang, in fact, Zuko has much more parallels, symbolism and friendly interaction (apparently, on this basis it should be assumed that zukaang was robbed).

«it is usually good to provide this little thing called evidence when carrying out analysis.»

it would be my plesure:

"Your sister. She hates me! And I don't know why, but I do care what she thinks of me."

"Now that I know he's out there ... now that I know we can find him, I feel like I have no choice."

These are quotes from the show. it would be great if you revisit the show itself from time to time, if you undertake to talk about how poorly the writers understand the characters.

«their choices are made for them by writers whose job is to make those choices make sense within the scope of their own narrative arcs, and fit the themes and messages of the show.»

which is what we are talking about. Kataang developed literally from the first episode, we saw how Katara's feelings for Aang were born and developed.

 s1 ep 14 Katara first starts thinking about Aang as a potential partner.

s2 ep 2 Katara first offers to kiss Aang, is offended when he refuses and then blushes when she later remembers the kiss.

S3 ep2 Katara is jealous and offended when she sees other girls flirting with Aang, and then rejoices when he invites her to dance and looks at him with loving eyes during the dance.

S3 ep10 Katara blushes when Aang kisses her and anxiously watches as he flies away to fight the firelord.

S3 ep17 The whole episode very clearly mocks the idea of zutara. We see how the propaganda of the fire nation mock Katara rasistic way as a brown girl, overly sexualizing her, showing zutara in his performance and forcing «katara» to say that Aang is like a brother to her.

S3 ep21 Katara initiates her and Aang's kiss. It is important that kataang happens on her terms and it is she who initiates the beginning of their relationship.

 You'll just have to throw these pieces out of the show and ignore the feelings and aspects of Katara's personality to claim that it didn't happen. when I say that kataang and maiko are canon, i dont mean at all "bryke and ehaz wanted to make them canonical and did." I mean, "it logically follows from the characters, from the symbolism and themes of the show." The development of the characters is important, not what the writers wanted.

I'm not going to continue this conversation, it would just be cool if you didn't literally throw whole pieces out of the show and ignore the character of Katara to prove that your ship is something more than just a fanon.

sweetie, there is not a thing you’ve shown me in any of our discussions (and i use that term generously, given that all you’ve done is refuse to engage with my arguments, continue spewing the most egregious misinterpretations, and generally be walking proof of what happens when you don’t pay attention in english class) so far that could convince me that you’re worth giving any more of my attention to.

if you are actually interested, i have addressed all of your “points” and more here — but of course, you never came to me looking for a good-faith, intellectual debate in the first place, given that you didn’t even have the guts to stand by your own arguments without hiding behind anon.

i hope someday you’re able to find joy in something other than bothering strangers on the internet just because they like two different fictional people kissing than you do.

have a good day 🥰

[jacensolodjo]

The Alphabet of Inadequate Language

A is for Auschwitz, where more than a million were gassed and then burned into ash. The word that could speak for everything that follows. A is for ARBEIT MACHT FREI, the words on the gates of Auschwitz. WORK MAKES YOU FREE. Except that the phrase is untranslatable, like so much else. A is for Atrocity. A is for Armenian Genocide, words that are illegal to say aloud in Turkey. A is for Atom bomb. B is for Buchenwald, where my father and my uncle were imprisoned yet did not die. B is for Bergen-Belsen, where Anne Frank did die. B is for Belzec, where half a million were murdered. B is for Babyn Yar, the ravine and largest-known mass grave. B is for Birkenau, the “sister” to Auschwitz. C is for Concentration Camp. C is for Crematoria. C is for Collaboration. C is for Communism. C is for Churchill. C is for Cambodia. C is for Children. One and a half million murdered children. Also the Hidden Children, and the Child Survivors. D is for Dictator. D is for Dachau. D is for Death Camp. D is for Death’s Head Insignia. D is for Deutschland. D is for Denial.

E is for Eichmann. E is for Extermination. E is for Einsatzgruppen, mobile killing squads. E is for Ethnic Cleansing. E is for Euphemism. F is for Final Solution. F is for Führer. F is for Fatherland. F is for Forgetting, which both is and is not the opposite of Remembering. G is for Gestapo. G is for Gas Chamber. G is for Goering. G is for Germany. G is for Ghetto. G is for Genocide. H is for Holocaust. H is for Hitler. H is for Himmler. H is for Höss. H is for Homosexual. H is for Hutu. H is for Hiroshima. I is for Identity Card. I is for Immigrant. I is for Ideology. I is for I Don’t Know How to Go On like This but I Cannot Stop Because the Words Keep Coming. J is for Jew. J is for Jude. J is for Jehovah’s Witnesses. J is for JEDEM DAS SEINE, words on the gate of Buchenwald. TO EACH HIS DUE. K is for Kristallnacht. K is for Khmer Rouge and for Killing Fields. K is for Konzentrationslager. L is for Lager. L is for Lynching. L is for Liquidation. As in, the liquidation of the Warsaw Ghetto and the Lodz Ghetto and the Vilna Ghetto, where my mother and her parents were forced to live before they escaped to a hiding place in the Polish countryside. M is for Mengele. M is for Mauthausen. M is for Maidanek. M is for Murder, Memory, Massacre, Motherland. N is for Nuclear Bomb and Neutron Bomb. N is for Nagasaki. N is for Neighbors, the ones who hid Jews and the ones who denounced Jews or denounced other neighbors for hiding Jews. N is for Nuremberg. The place of the trials. The place of a nearly impossible quest for justice. N is for Nazi. O is for Oven. O is for Other. P is for Pogrom. P is for Prisoner. P is for Parade. P is for Ponary, the forest near Vilna where 100,000 Jews were executed. P is for Poland, once home to more than 2 million Jews. P is for Perished. Q is for Quarantine. Q is for Questions That Have No Answer. R is for Reich. R is for Roma, whose numberless dead have never fully been mourned. R is for Rwanda. R is for Romania, the birthplace of my father’s father and the citizenship that saved my father’s life. R is for Relocation. R is for Refugee. R is for Roosevelt. S is for SS, for Stormtrooper. S is for Shoah. S is for Sachsenhausen and for Sobibor. S is for Stalin and for Synagogue and for Soap. S is for Sola, the ash-filled river at the edges of Auschwitz. S is for Sonderkommando, the special detail of prisoners forced to work in the gas chambers and crematoria. S is for Selektion. S is for Stolpersteine and for Secrets. S is for Silence. T is for Treblinka. T is for Theresienstadt. T is for Tattoo. T is for Twins, whom Mengele chose for special experiments. T is for the Thousand-Year Reich, for Terror, Trauma, Tenacity. T is for Tutsi. U is for Uprising. U is for Underground. U is for Über Alles. U is for U-boat. U is for Undesirable. U is for Understatement. V is for Vichy. V is for Victory. V is for Victim. V is for Vanquished. V is for Vietnam, the name of a country. V is for Veteran.

W is for Warsaw. W is for Wehrmacht. W is for War, and War, and War. X is for X. For everything that cannot be expressed in words, for each and every name of the dead that may have been forgotten. X is for Xenophobia, fear of the stranger, the Other. Y is for Yiddish, the almost-lost language. Y is for You, the one reading this alphabet and all the ones yet to be born. Z is for Zyklon B, the gas used to murder millions of men, women, and children in Auschwitz.

Now go back to the beginning. See under: A.

Survivor Cafe by Elizabeth Rosner

[randomnameless]

Scrolling through some old posts on a whim and found this, in response to an anon pointing out how stupid it was for Claude to not know about poverty in Almyra:

To be fair, that's also something I ranted about in Birthrout when Ryoma went all "i never knew people in Nohr were starving" because there's no way a crown prince and future heir of a nation doesn't know basic things about his immediate neighbours -

While you went on to point out that it's worse in Three Houses' case because it's a prince not knowing about basic details of his own nation instead of a prince not knowing about basic details of his neighbouring nation, i'd like to add that it's even more justified in Fates' case due to one of the biggest and most consistent issues with Hoshido being it's isolationism and lack of care for the issues of other countries, made even worse by the fact that it's general populace despises Nohrians due to the war:

Azura, in her C-Support with Corrin in Revelation: I suppose the carefree attitude of Hoshido might look like indifference to others. It could give people the impression that Hoshidans are very self-centered. So long as there is peace, the people in Hoshido seem uninterested in the world.

Shura, chapter 19 of Birthright: The day Kohga fell to Mokushu, almost all of my people were slaughtered. I was a child... Chased from my homeland and separated from the other survivors. Even as a refugee, I was denied entry to Hoshido. So I wound up in Nohr. I was exiled and alone. My only choice was to steal or die. You can guess what I chose. I've been here ever since, searching for others like me and trying to stay afloat...

Azura, in a line that was removed during localization and changed into her being the only person to suffer suspicion from the general populace, Chapter 9 of Conquest: But ever since the war started, everyone has changed. After you, a Hoshido princess, defected to Nohr… Anyone who had even a little involvement with the enemy could not be trusted, and a movement to eliminate them began. And the brunt of it… Was directed at me, because I was born in Nohr.

With all that in mind, i actually find it pretty reasonable for Ryoma to not know about Nohr's food shortage; he was born and raised in a country that's, at best, willfully ignorant and uncaring of the issues other countries face and, at worst, actively murderous towards anyone with even the slightest involvement with the enemy nation it's at war with. While his own prejudice against Nohr doesn't go quite that far, it's very consistent throughout Conquest that he doesn't think very highly of it either, calling it's ways treacherous, automatically assuming they tricked Corrin just because she chose to go back to Nohr, and assuming that Corrin was lying to him and trying to trick him to win their duel due to what they were taught while in Nohr (using fateswartable's translations here since Treehouse massively exaggerated Ryoma's grudge against Nohr):

Ryoma, Chapter 6 of Conquest: Like hell I’d give up…! I have to make Kamui come to her senses. Anyway it was you, the Nohr royal family, that seduced her, right!?

Xander: Bullshit…We did no such thing. Kamui, of her own free will, chose us.

Ryoma: Damn…! I know your way of doing things. You always use dirty tricks to torment the people of Hoshido! Defeat me fair and square in a fight and then you can speak of victory!

Corrin, boss convo in chapter 25 of CQ while Ryoma still wrongly believes that they killed Hinoka: Ryouma- please stop fighting! I want to speak with you! There’s more to what happened to Hinoka, so please listen, brother!

Ryoma: Hou…Are you trying to catch me off guard? By seeing the face of the sister that killed Hinoka? Nohr’s ways are treacherous…but it’s a shame. No matter what you say, my heart shall remain steadfast. I can no longer think of you as my little sister! Draw your sword!!! Kamui!!!!!!

Given his own initial prejudice against Nohr, coupled with the isolationist culture of Hoshido, i find it reasonable for him to only bother learning about important military strongholds in Nohr and not bother investigating what life's like for the peasants there, especially since he doesn't hold the country in high regard at the start of Birthright and only softens up to it and vows to help it with it's resource problem once he finds out that most of the people there are starving, meaning he wouldn't have bothered spending any more time researching Nohr than was helpful for the war effort.

Hahaha,

I hope my 2014 -5 ramblings weren't completely nonsensical, I haven't revisited them in a while lol

I still think Ryoma, who's not a random but the crown Prince, should at least have known a bit, even if his country is marked by extreme prejudice and isolationism, about Nohr - especially since Nohr is the country who has tried to invade them since Garon (or Gooron?) was king, and they're fighting since, well, forever.

But taking his prejudice into account, and Ryoma's own faults (he's very impulsive, not unlike his own son?), it sort of makes sense, even if I still think that's not an optimal situation for the next heir to only have the "bcs they're evil/norhians it's in their nature" answer to the usual question "why are Nohrians attacking us".

Granted, 2014-2015 was part of my Jugdral period, where both games took care to have their Lord be explained why the frick they are fighting - it's mostly important regarding Leif, who gets told by August that if Thracians are bandits and targeted the Mansterian lands, it's because they are starving and cannot import food from the North bcs Leif's forefathers and the Mansterians nobles don't want to share food.

So Leif's journey from "Thracian Hyenas!" to "Gods why are those people starving why aren't we trading food with them" to being the King of the unified peninsula, aka both Thracians and Mansterians, felt a regular, normal journey.

Ryoma being blocked at the "Nohrian hyenas" step felt a bit underwhelming in comparison, especially since, unlike Leif, he supposedly received all the education befitting a heir and hasn't been on the run for 10 years.

But ultimately everything boils down to "different games, different situations", and more over, different characters. Ryoma is biased, arrogant and impulsive - and there's no FE8!Seth, FE5!August, hell, even FE13!Fredo to tell him to stop and start being a King or acting as the leader of a State.

[the-shy-artisan]

I’ve finally finished it! My Beastos lore intro fic! c: 

It’s in the process of uploading to ao3, but I am cross posting it here as well. This is meant to be read as if Gaia is telling the story (was hard to pinpoint the tone ;; ) 

The Beast of Ares

"Ares! Destroy my enemies, and my life is yours!"

That single, desperate call was like music to the God of War's ears.

The blood-red sky opened and Ares stepped forth in a wreathe of flame, descending from Mount Olympus to save his new disciple. A snap from his fingers rolled across the battlefield like a peal of thunder, and the barbarian horde fell in a gory display of violence; sparing the young general from death. The great army from the east was finally no more, only their ruthless king remained.

But even after the last soldier collapsed and the air grew deathly silent, the eager general still wanted more.

The God of War once again obliged, and he bestowed more gifts upon the warrior; the strength of a lion, the swiftness of an eagle, the endurance of a ram. But in return for this boon, Ares took his humanity. Skin became cloaked in fur, teeth sharpened to fangs.

And Kratos, once a proud son of Sparta, became known henceforth as the Beast of Ares.

Filled with renewed life and wild fury, the newly born Beast turned on the barbarian king and fell upon him with gnashing teeth. His gruesome death sealed victory for the Spartans. But for Kratos, it was only the beginning of a lifetime of servitude...

The price of Ares's blessing only continued to grow, stealing more of the Spartan's soul with each passing day. Memories of his previous life blurred to nothingness, a nothingness that was now filled with bloodshed and blind fury. Driven into madness, the Beast served as a catalyst for the God of War's brutality; stalking battlefields, razing armies, and preying upon those who refused to serve under Ares's reign. Rarely are there any survivors of the vicious onslaughts. But for those who manage to escape with their lives, they return with stories of a creature so massive, that its very wings blot out the sun. A creature with a pelt as white as death and marked as if with spilled blood.

The animalistic wrath of the war god given life.

A man turned monster.

[redphienix]

it's always wild to me when development teams put the means to track usage numbers in their games because the ways in which they use that info is like, always wrong lol

Three examples off the top of my head

Master Duel keeping tabs and seeing that 90%+ of players are forced to use ash blossom and maxx C because they are game-warping cards (or rather, one is and the other is the most universally adequate counter to it) and they shrug and go "Seems fine." despite players ranting and raving for a ban to Maxx C so the game stops being determined by the maxx c minigame.

Helldivers 2 tracking item usage AND mission success and determining what needs nerfed based on correlation between these plots of data.... ignoring everything about how the items actually perform or whether players are losing on purpose or fucking ANYTHING relevant- just looking at the numbers and going "Ah, must mean nerf/buff time." without actually seeing what's going on.

(This "No need to see what's going on" mentality is also how we got railgun nerfs that were balanced around a BUG that they took months to fix instead of being based off the weapon itself. It needed nerfed so unsafe was useful, instead it got MASSACRED to worst support weapon status all because of the crossplay bug being mis-interpretted as a Railgun Trait instead of the unrelated bug that it was)

Dead by Daylight nerfing and buffing based on usage and victory numbers without giving a shit about rank resulting in many killers being nerfed to hell because new survivors don't understand and lose to them while at mid to high level play it's beyond obvious that these killers are garbage tier (and yet continue to be nerfed).

I have no real thesis here. I just think it's funny that devs are in a new era of being able to actively see useful information about the balance of their games and they just don't comprehend HOW to use it, or that Maybe Just Maybe combining those numbers with on-the-ground information (like player input / community opinion) may be more useful than assuming "Bar go up, make go down" is the answer.

[killed-by-choice]

Iris Velazquez, 20 (USA 1987)

In September of 1987, Iris underwent what she was told was a “safe and legal” abortion. She probably didn’t know that one of the abortionists involved (Renga Rajan) had already been sued for killing abortion client Darlene Wood in 1982.

Iris was only 20 when she was killed along with her baby on September 5, 1987. She left her husband José and two surviving children behind.

Jose Velazquez successfully sued Mahesh C. Gupta, Santosh Gupta, Renga Rajan, and Maria De Los Santos Health Center. The lawsuit docket mentioned that the abortion was “allegedly illegal”. Abortion was legal in Pennsylvania at the time, but it is possible that an abortionist involved had ignored a stipulation or requirement.

Based on the court documents available, it seems that the abortion itself was not found to be illegal. However, malpractice was confirmed and Iris’s husband and daughter were awarded money after a lengthy court case.

It was more or less of a hollow victory for Jose Velazquez, who had lost his wife and his youngest child. To add to his grief, his surviving son died only months after Iris and the baby. A family was torn apart and none of the survivors could ever be the same after the trauma.

The Court of Common Pleas, Philadelphia County, Civil Division, January Term, 1988 No. 1199

Superior Court, No. 02999 Philadelphia 1994

"United States Social Security Death Index," database, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:J297-VWY : 8 January 2021), Iris Velazquez, Sep 1987; citing U.S. Social Security Administration, Death Master File, database (Alexandria, Virginia: National Technical Information Service, ongoing).

https://www.leagle.com/decision/1995461443pasuper181460

https://www.anylaw.com/case/06-29-95-jose-velazquez-v-mahesh-c-gupta/supreme-court-of-pennsylvania/06-29-1995/ZMZHX2YBTlTomsSB7WEZ

[hjcoolartnerd]

Continuing my few interactions for TDAS, Hope you enjoy these interactions. Giving Eric and Daniel Abit more screen time

Previous Episode:

Evil Dread

Episode 3: Saving Private Leechball

Recap: 

 Chris: “ last times on total drama all stars! Our hero’s and villains went digging for buried treasure, and uncovered a few nasty surprises *laughs* Eric’s got covered in itching powder while his brother laughs earning him a sucker punch in the nose by Scott, also Scott villained it up big time trying to sabotage the heroes, and when he got caught he didn’t take it so well. But in the end  heroic hamsters were victorious, and Lightning fresh from a hungry night of exile on boney island  made enough bony headed moves to get the royal  flush from his team mates 14 competitors remain, which one of the. Will ride the sewer system next, find out right now on, Total! Drama! All Stars!”

——————————————————————————————

Villains at the looser cabin

Duncan: “ugh, I almost forgotten about these crudtacular cabins”

Alejandro: “let us hope it’s our only visit “

Scott: “*lays down* ow! I miss the hotel! Now that I know how rich people live everything I used to like stinks!”

Daniel: “that doesn’t look soft *goes to one of the bunks*oh they aren’t.., they feel like rocks! *scotts bunk breaks Daniel laughs*”

Duncan’s confessional: “Scott’s okay, at least with him you know what you are getting  which is crud, but still nice to know” 

Daniel’s confessional: “karma is a B I T C… or what? Jaja he totally deserved  that after sucker punching me. Maybe I should get  him more hurt tomorrow. Also I better keep working magic on Gwen if She allies with me guess who joins? No it’s not Scott…nor Alejandro…nor Jo… no Heather…” 

Alejandro:  “well goodnight gentlemen!” 

——————————————————————————————

Heroes at the Spa hotel

Eric: “oh my gawd! This bed is supper comfortable! Is like sleeping on a cloud!

Mike: “*satisfying Sigh* this is the life!”

Cameron: “yeah, but I feel a little guilty looking at Sam’s empty bed. I hope he’s okay over on boney island.”

Eric: “he is a survivor like all of us he will be okay… maybe hurt to the bone but he’ll be fine.”

Eric’s confessional: “I should have gone to exile instead of Sam..  but he beat me to it..  tomorrow I plan to work hard on the days challenge! I do t want us to loose and get booted 3rd” 

——————————————————————————————

Cameron: “I’ve never seen eggs so perfectly hardboiled! The odds are 10 trillion to 1”

Eric: “maple Bacon let’s never lose again!”

Courtney: “it’s not all perfect “

Eric: “and here comes miss Karen *mumbles placing one hard boiled egg in my pocket like Cameron, and zoey and Mike with bacon and Sierra with Toast*”

Courtney: “Hey Butler!  I’ve got a problem!  This juice is at least five percent too pulpy. I thought you were supposed to cantor to our every… *butler returns* oh that was fast… but I’m sure it won’t be *drinks* perfect!”

Eric’s confessional: “yeah Courtney is the type of customer whose food id spit if I found her at my job. Why treat the people who handle your food badly?” 

——————————————————————————————

*Daniel’s notices Jo, Heather and Alejandro trying to make a play with Gwen.*

Daniel’s confessional: “so Alehandjerk, old Heather and Miss Josephine sweatpants are trying to make a play on weird goth girl , I need to step up my game if I want her on my side. I have to beat them to it or else I might be Toiler food! And I know how to try and get her on my side. She wants to make amends with Teen Karen!”

Daniel: “hey Gwen! Have you thought about a way to apologize to Courtney.”

Gwen: “I’ve thought of a lot of ways… but she is glaring at me and it’s hard to even apologize to her.”

Daniel: “Maybe keep trying to do good deeps for her, it will wear her out! It works on my teachers at school, and Courtney is kind of like a teacher.”

Gwen: “you think it would work?”

Daniel: “absolutely!”

Daniel’s confessional: “I have no clue! Teen Karen is well… a Karen.. she’d be the type to ask for a manager for a stupid thing like an employee asking her if she wants dessert when she said her order was complete.” 

——————————————————————————————

Chris: “soldiers! Let’s all welcome back, exiled hamsters Sam!”

Zoey: “hey Sam! How was exile?”

Sam: “aside from the blinding hunger and bear attacks  pretty good actually, *sam falls*

*the team runs to him*

Mike: “ don’t worry buddy, we smuggled you breakfast!” *they all pulled out what they brought for Sam*

Sam: “you bots, are expert  level awesome!” 

Sierra: “Courtney what did you bring Sam?”

Eric: “yeah. Courtney. What did you bring?”

Courtney’s confessional: “no one told me we were doing that!”

Eric’s confessional: “yeah I purposely didn’t tell Courtney to make her look even more bad. I mean look at her! She did this to her self when she became a Karen ” 

——————————————————————————————

Chris: “as winners of yesterday’s challenge the heroes get a full one minute head start! *heroes cheer* ready? Set! *chef shoots Leech gun leech falls on Scott’s face*”

Scott: “ouch!”

*Eric’s looks at Scott with a worried expresion but he runs with his team Daniel notices this*

Eric’s confessional: “Focus Eric! I gotta focus! I can’t let a guy or girl distract me again! After criticizing Heather, Gwen and Courtney in World tour I can’t be seem like a hypocrite now!” 

Daniel’s confessional: “what the? Does Eric cares about Scott’s Well being now? When last season he laughed at Him? I don’t understand those two? First they were at Each others throats and now the6 care for each other ?!”

Heather: “know who could outrace the hamsters even with a head start? Lightning! Way to ruin everything Jo!”

Jo: “We all voted him off, remember?”

Alejandro: “we may not need to worry*points to the hamsters as Sam’s stops tired but Sierra and Mike return to help him*”

Gwen: “*sighs happily* now that’s team work!”

Heather: “yeah Work together now! Crush each other later! Like you and Courtney!”

Gwen: “what?!”

Heather: “the allergy bouquet, the stink bomb! I love  how you insist  you wanna be friends so she never sees it coming .”

Gwen: “uh…”

Heather: “talk about evil genius”

Gwen: “but I didn’t really did those things on purpose! really!”

Heather: “sure *winks*”

Daniel: “don’t worry Gwen I know you didn’t” 

Gwen: “thanks Daniel, i appreciate it!” 

Chris: “Villains! You are up in 3,  2, 1 *chef shoots and the leech falls on Scott again*”

*the villains start running*

——————————————————————————————

Courtney: “Move it! Hussle or so help me  you’ll never see another sunrise!”

Eric: “wow easy Courtney! The man is injured! Flip the witch switch back to Off! We need to work together and support him. No man left behind!” 

Courtney: “Shut it Eric! Or I’ll make sure you are the next one to be flushed!”

Mike’s confessional: “Courtney is kind of scary some times…. *mal shows up* and I love when things get scary! *mikes returns* so, uh what was I saying?” 

Eric’s confessional: “okay I never did anything to Courtney so she treats me like that? Sure I did sided with Gwen when the whole Boyfriend kissing happened but, she was asking for it? Duncan and Courtney were toxic together, a on again off again thing…… oh now I see why… jaja” 

Sierra: “does anyone knows where the heart of the Forrest, is exactly?”

Eric: “we’d have to verify. If I recall in season 1 nor season 4 we have never gone to the heart of the forest.” 

Zoey: “then I’ll go get a better look! *she starts to climb a tree*” 

Courtney’s confessional:” Zoey has some seriously impressive skills, and that is why she’s got to go”

Zoey: “over there!”

——————————————————————————————

 Courtney: “the big one! Go for the big one!” *villains appear in front of the crate*

Mike: “wow! Where’d they come from?” 

Daniel: “best team ever!”*Heather blows a raspberry*

Duncan: “*laughs and points* suckers!” 

Courtney: “ the small one! Go for the small one!”

Eric: “no kidding!” *rolls eyes*

Courtney: “gross!”

Mike: “guess this is this is the low  tech crate alright!”

Villains: *cheer*

Jo: “Who needs lightning! Am I right people?”

Daniel: “what ever Jo.”  *duncan opens the crate*

Duncan, Scott, Heather and Jo: “I’ll take the cannon! No I’ll take the cannon! *goans*”

Alejandro: “We use it as a team right Gwen?”

Heather: “yeah! Obviously “

Jo: “that’s what I was going to say! Woh go team!”

Duncan’s confessional: “so Heather Jo and Alejandro are making a play for Gwen. Why isn’t anyone trying to work me? Probably because I can’t be manipulated! But they could at least  try!”

Daniel’s confessional: “Those three are so obvious! Even a dumb girl like Lindsiot would know they would be trying to manipulate her. Like Can’t they be more discreet?”

Eric: “*walks to Scott holding his bucket and his slingshot* hey Scott you okay? I saw that a leech fell on you?” 

Scott: “*taken a back* huh? Yeah huh I guess it didn’t hurt! I’m a strong as an ox *he smiles before trying to act villainous* and why would you ask about me huh? “

Eric: “well you screamed ouch? I’m just checking you don’t making things easier for us. *he said but they were making eye contact*

Daniel’s confessional: “are you seeing this? Those two are so obnoxious! Eric should have learned after what happened with that pretty boy from action! Discount alehandjerk … “

Eric’s confessional: “for those wondering I don’t have feelings for Scott! He just seem more goofy now than ,last season,  he seems more like the real him, I’m not attracted to his handsome freckled face… or that fire hair or those deep blue piercing eyes…. no! Focus!”

Scott’s confessional: “Eric was annoying last season as the rats ,mentor but now he seems nicer? More like a person I would talk to? He doesn’t seem as uptight as he was? Probably because I’m not in his team throwing challenges… but his hazelnut eyes, his cute smile, those black locks! He is adorable! … but n-no I don’t like him! He just seems like a possible, alliance member for the merge!” 

Screen in half Eric and Scott’s confessional: “Who ever thinks I like him will get a punch in the face! This is only strategic! Being nice to him and pull him into an alliance, no matter how much I want to ki…. *they blush  and stop* like I said strategic” 

——————————————————————————————

Heroes

Courtney: “ of course the villains, get machine gun shooters. We’ll never beat them with these puny slingshots.”

Cameron : “ sure we can!”

 

Cameron and Sierra: “ if we are stealthy and score 1st * they high five as Mike drops Sam*”

Eric: “ yeah, Courtney, you don’t have to drag us down with your pessimistic thoughts. “

Courtney: “ uh. nerd, love if you kiss  in front of me, I will throw up *turns to eric* I didn’t ask for your opinion Eric”

Cameron: “ Sierra and I are just friends, right Sierra?”

Sierra: “ yeah we are. I have a Cody waiting back home for me.” 

Zoey: “ a cave! Sam can rest in there while the rest of us take on the villains”

Eric: “ good idea!”

——————————————————————————————

Sam: “uh, power, level low…”

Mike: “ should someone stay to guard him? It”

Courtney: “ I’ll do it I owe him for not bringing him some breakfast”

Eric: “ sounds like a plan, and not against that!”

Zoey’s confessional: “ I knew Courtney had a heart buried in there somewhere”

Courtney’s confessional: “ this is what the smart leaders do hang back and let the soldiers take the leeches to the face”

Eric’s confessional: “ you guys may be wondering why I wasn’t against Courtney guarding Sam. it’s very simple. Actually I know that she’s one of those people that prefers self preservation so the moment that she smells dangerous she’s going to use Sam as a human shield and if we lose the challenge it would be a win-win because we can get rid of Courtney. I feel like she should’ve gone an episode one.”

——————————————————————————————

Zoey: “we have to find the villains before they find us”

Mike: “stealth maneuvers, this sounds like a job for Svetlana *gasp*”

 Sierra: “Oh, goody! She’s my favorite!”

Cameron: “svetlanna? Is that you?”

Mike: “*sighs* Nah still me”

Mikes confessional: “okay, wasn’t too long ago I couldn’t keep my alternate personalities in, now they won’t come out *hits himslef* ouch! Damned wall am I Chester? *rips off shirt* yo Vito! my shirts off come and get it. Vito? Anybody?”

——————————————————————————————

*pushing the cannon*

Gwen: “we’re easy targets like this, maybe we should ditch the cannon”

Jo: “ no way! I haven’t even had a turn to fire it yet! Isn’t that right sweetheart”

Gwen: “OK? Then we should split up” 

Alejandro: “agreed I’ll go with Gwen”

Heather: “ no I’ll go with Gwen”

Jo: “ as if I’m letting either of you go anywhere with Gwen”

Alejandro: “please attempt to be reasonable *as he Jo and Heather argue*”

Daniel: “hey guys why are you fighting for Gwen? We can’t all go with her?” *a leech hits alejandro*

Alejandro: *screams* “I’m hit! *falls*” 

Zoey: “Sorry, but not totally *runs off as people try to shoot her leeches, Daniel screams*”

Daniel: “Oh come on!”*he  drops his machine gun and they can hear Eric laughing*”

Jo: *fires the cannon and it hits Scott*

Scott: “oh. Come on!” *he groans and falls*

Eric: “Scott!?” *he runs up to him Dropping his sling shots* “buddy you okay? *starts taking the leeches off scott*”

Eric’s confessional: “if I’m going to have Scott as an ally I need him at his best… but maybe going out in the open w(ere the villains are was a dumb mistake” 

Heather: “so long sucker!” *shoots eric as Eric screams” 

Daniel’s confessional: “Okay this is way more deep than I thought?! Eric is definitely in love with Scott! I have to stop anything to happen between them!” 

Chris: “*laughs* that’s!  Three points for the heroes and one for the villains!”

Duncan: “ but Zoey only hit Alejandro? And Eric hit Daniel” 

Chris: “true but friendly fire counts!” 

Jo: “ what dirt boy got in the way!”

Heather: “you can take your excuses and stick it in your *mike shoots her* ah!!”

Chris: “that’s four points heroes one for the villains!” 

—————————————————————————————— 

(Next part is between Eric Scott Daniel Alejandro and Heather since Eric is out already)

Eric: “that’s the dumbest move I’ve ever done *,amages to take the five leeches Heather shot at him*”

Heather: “you think? You aren’t in your game Eric”

Eric: “you are one to talk? Both you and Alejandro out already? So sad *laughs*”

Daniel: “at least they were taken out by Zoey and Mike! Not like you taken out because you were worried about the dumb dirty boy!”

Eric: “*tries to stay calm* Me worried?! As If! I hate Scott!” *tries not to blush*

Daniel: “sure… just like Heather and Alejandro hate eachother!”

Alejandro and Heather: “shut it Daniel!” 

Daniel: “touchy *laughs*”

Daniel’s confessional: “it’s easy to play Heather, Alejandro and Eric! Two of them are into eachother and I know most of Eric’s weaknesses perks of being his brother,” 

Eric’s confessional: “ I really want to wipe Daniel’s grin off his mouth! He is more annoying than Bryan! And Bryan conspired against Heather to do a twin switch! That why I had pink tips in world tour!” 

Heathers confessional: “I got to say Daniel is really Evil, but is he Bryan evil? He turned against his own sibling? Maybe I could recruit him as an ally! He might know Eric’s weaknesses. I get Gwen, with Gwen comes Duncan, and I get Eric, four votes for Alejandro next time!” 

Alejandro’s confessional: “if Eric was in our team I think I could have convinced him to join me in a alliance, despite our past Eric wants the millions as much as I do, and right now Heather and Daniel are both threats!” 

Eric’s confessional : “you know I’m happy I’m not in the vultures!  Because if I did I would be their first target. And what allies I have in their team? Gwen only, and I’m trying to get Scott to side with me but Right now it work e useful, but it’s always good to have allies right?” 

——————————————————————————————

Eric: “well I’m taking Scott to get those Leeches removed. *eric got up and tried to make Scott stand and held him with one of Scott’s arms around his shoulders. Eric walked off with scott*”

Daniel’s confessional: “okay this is getting out of hand! I don’t know my own older brother anymore.”

Alejandro’s confessional: “this is perfect! Is obvious Eric is trying to get Scott as an ally if I get Eric to ally with me! I can have 2 votea when the merge happens plus Gwen and Duncan if I get Gwen on my side.” 

——————————————————————————————

Eric: *struggling to have Scott up, he sees Alejandro Hand walking to him* 

Alejandro: “need assistance?”

Eric: “I’d say yes but you can’t use your legs so it’d be futile” 

Alejandro’s confessional: “I need Eric’s trust and I know how” 

Alejandro: “what if I to,d you this is all an act?” 

Eric: “what do you mean?” 

Alejandro: “*smirks as he goes a Down and the  stands up with his legs* my legs are perfectly fine!” *but Alejandro didn’t know someone a Saw them being sierra*

Sierras confessional: “holy Cody! Alejandro is pretending? I saw right thru him but he just admitted that to Eric! Is he trying to play Eric? I need to ask him.”

Eric: “oh? So you are playing Heather and you team with a lie saying your legs don’t work?”

Alejandro: “you are smarter than you think! Listen Eric, I know you hate me”

Eric: “hate is an understatement” 

Alejandro: “how about I help you take Scott to the informers and you can ally yourself with me! I know you have the most influence on the votes in the heroes, if you have me as an Ally you’d have another ally on the villains and have more votes and possibly Duncan’s vote. You and Gwen are friends right?”

Eric: “yeah I do have Sam, Sierras, Mike, Zoey, Cameron and Gwen’s trust. They are friends to me. And I’m trying to get Scott to ally with me too. So yeah” 

Alejandro: “then perfect ally with me and we get rid of Jo, Heather, Courtney and Duncan when the time is right what do you say?”

Eric’s confessional: “I know Alejandro is playing me, but you know wha5 I’m going to let him think I’m with him! But when some threats are out, I’ll double cross him. That not evil when you are doing it to a villain! Besides. I would never double cross any one of my friends so once I get Jo Heather Courtney Daniel and Duncan out, the next one to go will be Alejandro. Leaving me and my friends and Scott.” 

Eric: “deal!”

Alejandro’s confessional: “wow he trust me!  He really is easily tricked! Once I get rid of all, those people Eric will be next!” 

Eric: “make yourself useful and Help me with Scott”

Alejandro: “*goes to the other Side of Scott and Helps him up* wow he really stinks!?” 

Eric: “really I guess sharing a cabin and a trailer with Owen’s farts really did made me immune to Scott’s smells.”

——————————————————————————————

*after the left Scott in the infermery*

Alejandro: “I’ll return to my team before they get suspensions!”

Eric: “alright Al, *he sees Alejandro hand walk away as he walks the other way and hears Chris announce*

Chris: “it’s six to three, heroes!  One more point and the hamsters win!” 

Sierra: “*walks to Eric covered in Leeches* Eric what were you talking with Alejandro? Didn’t you hate them?”

Eric: “Sierra do you trust me?”

Sierra: “kind of? You’ve never done anything wrong thru the seasons so I know you are trust worthy”

Eric: “then get this Alejandro is trying to manipulate me to try and use me as a life boat to get far in the game and he thinks I’m oblivious.” 

Sierra: “so that’s why he let you know he can walk?”

Eric: “correct! He is trying to get me to trust him. But I’m just using him. If with his support we get rid of most of the villains and Courtney it will be just you, Me, Sam, Cameron, Mike, Zoey, Gwen and Scott in the merge.”

Sierra: “wait you already planned ahead? That’s really strategic of you? But what next? When most of the good guys are in the merge? “

Eric: “we start taking people out depending on how much of a threat they are. I don’t want to double cross anyone, so when the merge comes and it’s just us 7 I’d be honest and say that’s when our alliance breaks and everyone is on their own if they want.”

Sierra: “what if it back fires?”

Eric: “I never thought of that”

Chris: “six points to four! It ain’t over yet!” 

Eric: “which villain is left? And which heroes al left?”

Sierra: “if I’m correct, Jo is the only villain left and heroes, is Mike Zoey, and I think Courtney who might have used Sam as human shield.”

Eric: “perfect! If we lose let’s vote Courtney!”

Sierra: “really?you want us to lose?”

Eric: “not at all I love the spa hotel! But if no thanks to Courtney we lose she should be out next”

Sierra: “agree! She is nothing but mean and bossy! I like Zoey as leader better!”

Eric: “same!”

Sierras confessional: “Can I trust Eric? His plan to get 7 people to the merge sound pretty evil! Considering the fact he is willing to work with Alejandro someone that Eric despised more than Heather and Eric in season 3” 

——————————————————————————————

Chris: “this just in with a final score of seven points to four, the heroes win!… al though some of them, didn’t behave all that heroically. Courtney!” 

Eric: “yes! Way to go!” *he high fives Sierra and Cameron*

——————————————————————————————

Daniel: “hey Gwen who should we vote for in this elimination?” 

Gwen: “I’m voting Jo, most of us are.”

Daniel: “Alright Jo it is!”

Daniel’s confessional: “step two! Go with Gwen’s choice to vote off a villain! Check!” 

——————————————————————————————

Vultures Votes:

Alejandro: Jo

Daniel: Jo

Duncan: Jo 

Gwen: Jo

Heather: Jo

Jo: Heather 

Scott: Jo

——————————————————————————————

Order in which they receive marshmallows

Gwen 

Alejandro 

Daniel

Duncan

Scott

Heather (bottom 2) 

Jo (Eliminated)

——————————————————————————————

Chris: “but before we get flushing, I wanna do a little re shuffling! Today one villain acted more like a hero and one hero acted more like a villain, so pack your bags and switch your teams! Courtney and Duncan! *everyone gasps* and ass an added twist and more drama I also want to switch two more, just because I feel like it. Eric switch with Daniel!” 

Courtney: “I don’t want to be a villain!”

Eric: “how is changing me to the villains Team makes more drama?”

Duncan: “I don’t want to be a lame o hero!”

Daniel: “this sucks! I’m not a hero! Why am I switching!”

Chris: “ yeah yeah, Just do it.”

Eric:  *sighs crossing his arms* this sucks!  *he walks to where the villains are and sits to Scott’s left*

Scott: “guess we are teammate!”

Eric: “*blushes and smiles* yes, guess we are” *he looks away blushing*

Eric’s confessional: “I might not be with the team I had the mayority of votes but…. This isn’t half bad, I have Gwen and I’m getting along with Scott so that’s something right?”

Daniel’s confessional: “this really sucks! A ream with Apology Brat, String bean, Mike, the gamer and the stalker. Great I’ll be booted next… oh and Duncan” 

Daniel: “hey new team… *everyone but Duncan is glaring at him*”

——————————————————————————————

Next episode

Food Fright

[lasnevadaslaborunion]

Thoughts on the bet

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS.

So first of all, this casts everything about c!Quackity during Las Nevadas into a whole new light (that it was already teetering on the edge of). He finally got a win. The very first gamble in his new nation was a victory for the house, as it was designed to be. For just a moment, the system worked as intended and he bested somebody who once made his life hell.

(And then, c!Schlatt didn't show up to work - at least, not for a very long time.)

But that's fine, right, he's still riding that high. He won. He can win again. It's only uphill from here. Why not keep risking it?

What this changes most is that it makes c!Quackity's real goals a lot clearer. Him winning the bet hammers home harder that the revival book - at least, using the revival book himself - was never the primary motivation for torturing c!Dream. Which, let's be real, anybody paying attention probably would have picked up already. His first words on the subject were about what c!Dream did to Tommy; he takes it as a given throughout the arc that his own death is iminent, never even considers using the book to gain immortality or whatever else; hell, he flat-out screams that he doesn't give a crap about the book and that he's only torturing c!Dream to pay him back for the harm he's caused. If the book factored in at all, then his desire was more to make sure that c!Dream didn't have it than that c!Quackity himself did.

But that right there is the aspect of this reveal that gives me full-body chills: c!Quackity had full autonomy. There was nothing compelling him to walk into that prison cell and beat someone bloody for two months straight. He did that of his own free will - for reasons that are sympathetic on paper, sure, but he still chose that.

It's a fucking brilliant twist. Set up a situation where we're led to believe that this abuse survivor is going down a dark path at the direct coercion of their abuser. Give them a very clear excuse - one with plenty of holes (how exactly would c!Schlatt have ensured that he kept his word?), but which makes sense intuitively, cudgels you with sympathy. Then, strip that explanation away, and force people to think about the realistic chain of events that led to this horror show. He didn't have to do that. But he did. And as much as I loved the angsty portrayals of c!Q on a time crunch, c!Q humiliated and terrified, c!Q haunted by c!Schlatt's ghost until he fulfills his debt... I think the hidden, metaphorical demon, not being dragged screaming and crying into corruption, but stepping into it willingly, with a gritted-teeth grin and rolled eyes, believing that this time, you really do have all the power... is so much more fascinating and disturbing.

He was a free man. He wasn't under anyone's thumb anymore. He could have been living the dream.

He almost was. Almost.

Shit, man. He really just... did that, didn't he?

[bluevaractyl]

Your vent post sounds like classic ADHD. Or maybe burnout. Or some kind of chronic fatigue. Either way, remember there's no such thing as laziness. It's legitimate tiredness. Or it's a physical or mental disability that's disabling you. It isn't your fault. Whatever you're doing right now IS your best and that's okay and you should be proud of yourself for the little victories you do like eating dinner or making a phone call.

You aren't a coward or weak willed, you're a rabbit. You are designed to be a survivor, to lead a life you enjoy. You shouldn't judge yourself harshly for not being a kingly lion, or a mighty bear, or a focused falcon, or a swift fox. Being a rabbit is a-ok! You're smart, you know how to avoid things that will hurt you, you know how to slow down and enjoy the simple quiet parts of life, like reading and drawing and being nice to people.

Maybe you aren't meant to be bold and ambitious (or maybe something is disabling you so you physically can't be) and that's okay. Don't fault yourself for it. You have value just by existing. You don't have to do anything to be worthy.

You'll have to figure out what the root cause is. Is it physical? Like a medical issue? Is it mental like ADHD or anxiety, depression, or shutdown due to chronic stress and pushing yourself too hard? Usually the best (and sometimes the only) fix for this kind of thing is taking a break.

Strategically drop assignments as long as you can still pass the class with a C (C's get degrees!). Cut any corners you can. Do disability/chronic illness lifehacks like having groceries delivered, using paper plates and plastic utensils, sitting in the shower instead of standing, listen to your reading assignments with an audiobook.

Also, this part is super important: take all the breaks you can. Do all the fun things you can. Healing doesn't just mean band-aiding the problem or merely removing your exposure to the trigger, you gotta heal yourself with medicine for the mind and soul: read lots of fics, watch lots of shows, draw lots of things. Only when your mind/body have the space to heal can it reset back to the point where you can cheerfully do your tasks.

You should try the Finch app. It is a no-stakes self-care app that rewards you for doing things like getting out of bed or taking a shower. It's fun! You play dress up with a baby bird and take them on adventures.

Aw Anon, you made me cry. I needed this.

I do have ADHD, and I still forget what that means. I didn't know until starting college. I can't take medication for it right now because of some health stuff I'm trying to figure out. I am starting to think I might have anxiety too. Definitely feeling a little burnt out.

I withdrew from one of my classes last week because I was so overwhelmed. It helped a little, but I've still been missing assignments left and right. Maybe that's okay.

I'm a rabbit, I suppose, and I can learn to accept that. Thank you Anon <3

[shadowofwar-goober]

The Gondorians of Mordor- Retreat

The middle city was lost. There was only one course of action left, once the survivors retreat behind the last remaining safe haven in Minas Ithil.

    Already, the warning cries of the upper city’s horns cut through the sounds of the siege. The gates were closing, regardless if anyone was able to retreat to the gate or not. The surviving soldiers were already running out of time.

    “How many companies remain alive?!” The ranger, Talion, was breathless as he sprinted side-by-side with Idril. 

    “I-I do not know! S-Sergeant Tarandor and his men may still yet live, ranger!” Idril nearly tripped on her feet as the ground shook underfoot. Talion reflexively latched onto Idril’s shoulder to steady her. Idril gave the ranger a curt nod as they continued to run.

    The sound of fighting grew louder. Closer. It was total pandemonium and chaos as men and orcs clashed, one side desperately trying to retreat and beat back the side that threatened to overwhelm and overtake them wholly. 

Most of these men hadn’t seen proper action before the siege and it showed in the innumerable amount of bodies that were piled in the streets. The night spent in the lower and middle city took its toll and it left a mass grave in its wake. Idril could scarcely believe that the green sergeant Tarandor not only remained alive, himself, but seemed to have the bulk of his men still living under his command. 

No words or orders needed to be exchanged. Tarandor and his men were on the cusp of becoming overtaken. It wasn’t quite a battle of attrition, but if one or more men were to fall, the tide of battle would have been shifted too far into the orcs’ favour. 

Idril and Talion both were able to take several uruks by surprise. Six fell by their blades and suddenly, with a rallying cry, the Gondorians were able to push hard enough to cause the orcs to take pause before deciding the battle was lost. Seeing their heels brought another round of war cries from the men.

“C-Captain!” Sergeant Tarandor was red faced and winded. Exhausted, but invigorated from the sudden victory. “H-Herion-” He points towards the upper city. “H-He- They’ll need us, Captain!” Idril nodded, already turning to run.

“MOVE OUT, MEN!” 

Idril’s voice cut through the horns sounding and the rumble and crashing of marbled stone against the paved grounds. All turned to follow, the ranger and sergeant included, and continued to rush for the upper city’s gates. 

Sergeant Herion’s company was in far more dire straits than Tarandor’s was in. They were outnumbered two to one, yet still they pushed against the enemy with surprising ferocity. It gave the ranger brief pause, though he didn’t hesitate to cut down any orc that was within arms reach.

Herion was one of two sergeants who both led men that were unlike most that served in Gondor. They fought not like honourable knights but like street ruffians in the midst of a tavern fight. Once, Idril would think them uncouth, lacking in honour and respect of both the ranks they hold and those that command above them. Now? They are the difference between catastrophic casualties and acceptable loss of war. 

“D-Damn-! It looks bad!” If they weren’t in the heat of battle, Idril would have given Tarandor a proper tongue lashing for saying something so idiotic.

“No shit- It’s been bad for weeks!” Herion had scarcely broken into a sweat as he cleaves yet another uruk from shoulder to waist. Idril snarled as she separated an orc’s head from his shoulders.

“Shut the hell up and FIGHT! The gates are closing as we speak!” 

Idril wished she wasn’t speaking the truth. With their aid, Herion and his men were able to spook this group of uruks into fleeing once they saw the tide of battle shift in the Gordorian’s favour. Such cowardice was distasteful but Idril couldn’t be more pleased as the beasts scattered in the ruined streets of Minas Ithil.

“Move up, men! Sergeant Dagor is covering the gate!” Sergeant Herion shouted over the sounds of the siege. The warning horns of the upper city cut his order short, though his men didn’t need to hear him to know where to go.

“The middle city is lost! Retreat to the upper city! RETREAT!” Idril shouted to any man that may hear her. It was likely in vain but Idril would shout until her throat was raw and bleeding before she stopped ordering her men to fall back. 

The men of Minas Ithil didn’t stop fighting even as they retreated back to the upper city. Many smaller groups still fought hard against the uruks that threatened to follow them to the gates.

“Fall back to the gate! We’ll cover you! Fall back!” More fell in line with the two existing companies. Some lost their commanders, some lost their entire company to the orcs. Whether they were separated or they were killed, they all took out more and more uruks as they climbed to the upper city’s gates.

“S-Sergeant Dagor! The lower cities are lost, we must retreat!” Idril was beyond exhaustion. Pure adrenaline kept her on her feet and fighting. Sergeant Dagor nodded as he pulled his blade from an uruk’s abdomen. 

“FALL BACK TO THE UPPER CITY!” 

She didn’t think they would make it. Too much time has passed, they are too overwhelmed, they haven’t the archers to provide support- Idril’s lungs screamed for air and her arms and legs begged for rest as they became heavier and heavier with each step she took.

“They are sealing the gates! Move out- MOVE OUT!” 

The stairs leading up to the upper city’s gate is in view. Almost- Almost! Idril grits her teeth as she gives herself one last push. She needs only to cress the top of these stairs and she’s done everything she possibly could have done. Another step. One more step. One more- 

Uruks were trying to push into the gates. Idril lunges towards one with a feral snarl, cutting down one, two- 

The ranger stole her third kill. Idril shoved him out of the way as she cut down what should have been her fourth. Soldiers pushed past them both as a bone-shaking CREAK curled her toes and caused the hairs on her arms to stand to attention. 

The gates are closing. 

“Quickly! UNDER THE GATES!” The handful of men that rushed through the gate collapsed as soon as they were on the other side. Idril backed up, eyeing the uruks that already washed upon the stairs like a black wave. The ranger has yet to move from the top most step of the upper city’s staircase.

“What are you-?!” Idril nearly tripped on her feet as she only just made it behind the gate before it fell atop her head. On the other side, this mysterious ranger faced the oncoming orcs then turned to meet Idril’s gaze. 

“What the hell are you-?!” Idril was flabbergasted as the ranger raised a hand to silence her. 

“I won’t be long. Go.” Idril balked at the calmness in which he stated this. The ranger clashed swords with an uruk. A small group had converged at the gates. Idril didn’t have the energy to feel anything. Fuck.

She’s so tired… 

“H-Have archers provide support…” Sergeant Dagor nodded before sprinting up the rampart to the upper walls.

The uruks weren’t ready to assault the upper city just yet. In small groups, they were cocky and reckless, especially when they were led by a grunt-wannabe-captain. Why the hell did that fool not enter the safety behind the gates?! Something about that ranger didn’t sit right with Idril. 

He was a good fighter- likely he’s fought uruk-hai for many, many years, not unlike Idril and a few of the sergeants that served in the Minas Ithil army. She stood on the safe side of the gate, baffled as the ranger took on seven different uruks with a grace and speed that didn’t seem… human? 

Perhaps she is merely exhausted… She… Damn. 

Idril could scarcely sheath her sword, her arms burned and ached so intensely. Her legs and feet were in no better condition. Every step took monumental effort on her part. Idril nearly tripped as she walked up the steps that led to the upper wall. She swallowed dryly as a familiar set of armour reflected in the scant, overcast light of the afternoon sky. 

As second captain, it was her duty to report to her General. Even if it left her trembling and nearly heaving from dread.

@space-arsonist, @dirtymeanuruk, @sinick, @elvenmoans, @boozy-dwarf