#can only speak for my own blorbo

[scrapimmortal]

On Kinn’s ending

I have seen people say that this was a sad ending or a “false happy ending” for his character arc, and I’m going to try and express why I very much disagree with that.

It’s true. Kinn didn’t choose this life. As the second child, he had dreams once. Dreams that are now ironically being lived by Kim. But I want to emphasize one thing clearly: when Tankhun had his incident, that path became lost to him permanently. He can’t leave his family behind and he would never do anything to hurt them (like faking his own death to escape). Sure he thought about staying lost in the forest, but it was just that. A thought. (Will get back to his feelings in the forest in a bit.) He has a complicated and unhealthy relationship with his father, sure, but he does love him. And he loves Tankhun. He cares about his people. So he can’t just vanish. But that has always been Kinn’s tragedy. And it was never going to magically go away. The irrevocable fact that he lost his childhood dreams for good. And as much as it makes my heart hurt, I like that about him. That he cares about his family. That he’s a responsible person.

Now, I think that looking at Kinn in his role as head of the family and going “poor boo boo doesn’t want to do this, he hates every second of it :((((” is a major disservice to his character and strips away several layers from him. You see, I’m not convinced that he 100% hates it. He’s just too good at it. It’s the way he holds himself, the way he talks, the look in his eyes. On some level, I think he likes the power and authority.

So let’s look at his arc this season. You see, I don’t think that Kinn’s issue with his job was ever the murder or violence or any of that stuff. What I mean is, I don’t think he’s bothered by a guilty conscience at all. He grew up in it. The thing that was slowly eating him alive about his position was the loneliness. The lack of balance in a hard world. The not being able to trust anyone. Not having anyone to be himself with. Kinn closed himself off from everyone around him, had sex without feelings whenever he felt the urge, and became a hard man. Because that time he opened himself up to someone, he got hurt. He got hurt, and his family was put in danger. His people were put in danger. So Kinn decided, never again. He locked his heart away, and became the facade of cold mafia leader. And he was so lonely. Starved for tenderness.

Then comes Porsche. And Porsche basically turns his world upside down. His carefully crafted exterior doesn’t take long to crack. And after a rollercoaster of a first month, Kinn drops his guard completely in the forest. There we finally see the real Kinn at his most pure. No obligations. No one to pretend for. The two of them talk about their dreams and grow close, and a part of Kinn never wants to go back. Part of him doesn’t want to be found. Part of him wants to run away with Porsche in that moment when he lets him go. But again, he can’t. It was never an option.

So they go back, and Kinn realises that he took a part of the forest back with him. He can still be himself. With Porsche. He can be his dorky, cheesy, loving, soft self with Porsche. He learns that it was never about a place. He has found his freedom in Porsche. He can have softness in a hard world. He learns to let himself be cared for. He learns to trust. He learns to balance his duties and his love. All with ups and downs. And he grows so much.

As for their vacation at Porsche's place in episode 12, I don't think Kinn truly believed it'd be forever. I think he understands how much his dad needs him as head of the family, and he was using this to get Korn to make it up to Porsche in some way. And Kinn was willing to stay away from home for as long as it took to make it happen. It doesn't much matter to Kinn where he is or for how long, as his happiness isn't tied to a place.

Kinn will always have to bear the burden of his responsibility. But he won’t have to do it alone anymore. Porsche is by his side now. And no, not under him because he’s “minor family” head. They were very clearly in stating that they’d become one. They’ll do this together, side by side. Orchestrated by Korn or not, I think it’s beautiful. Because he’s underestimating them. He doesn’t understand how deep their bond really is. And Kinn has been slipping from his grasp. Throughout the season, we saw Kinn not listening to him, going against him. Choosing Porsche over him.

Kinn and Porsche have each other’s backs, and I think they can take on the whole world together. And Kinn will never be lonely again.

[crazymecjc]

feeling very grgrgrgrgrgr tonight I wanna participate in another zine so so badly they’re so fun

[verysleepyfrog]

im sorry but if you can’t handle character.ai being down you need to go outside and talk to a person

[tbartss]

I plead the fifth

[firkant-fugl]

I don't remember if I've written it but I love Maggie so FUCKIN much and she's SO autistic coded and I love that so much 😭💜😭💜😭

[whumpacabra]

Hmmm AU where instead of getting recalled after Harrison kills Elias the Wolf is punished and locked in the Box with him :]

[lightyaoigami]

☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ how to resume ⋆｡ﾟ☾｡⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎ ﾟ

after 10 years & 6 jobs in corporate america, i would like to share how to game the system. we all want the biggest payoff for the least amount of work, right?

know thine enemy: beating the robots

i see a lot of misinformation about how AI is used to scrape resumes. i can't speak for every company but most corporations use what is called applicant tracking software (ATS).

no respectable company is using chatgpt to sort applications. i don't know how you'd even write the prompt to get a consumer-facing product to do this. i guarantee that target, walmart, bank of america, whatever, they are all using B2B SaaS enterprise solutions. there is not one hiring manager plinking away at at a large language model.

ATS scans your resume in comparison to the job posting, parses which resumes contain key words, and presents the recruiter and/or hiring manager with resumes with a high "score." the goal of writing your resume is to get your "score" as high as possible.

but tumblr user lightyaoigami, how do i beat the robots?

great question, y/n. you will want to seek out an ATS resume checker. i have personally found success with jobscan, which is not free, but works extremely well. there is a free trial period, and other ATS scanners are in fact free. some of these tools are so sophisticated that they can actually help build your resume from scratch with your input. i wrote my own resume and used jobscan to compare it to the applications i was finishing.

do not use chatgpt to write your resume or cover letter. it is painfully obvious. here is a tutorial on how to use jobscan. for the zillionth time i do not work for jobscan nor am i a #jobscanpartner i am just a person who used this tool to land a job at a challenging time.

the resume checkers will tell you what words and/or phrases you need to shoehorn into your bullet points - i.e., if you are applying for a job that requires you to be a strong collaborator, the resume checker might suggest you include the phrase "cross-functional teams." you can easily re-word your bullets to include this with a little noodling.

don't i need a cover letter?

it depends on the job. after you have about 5 years of experience, i would say that they are largely unnecessary. while i was laid off, i applied to about 100 jobs in a three-month period (#blessed to have been hired quickly). i did not submit a cover letter for any of them, and i had a solid rate of phone screens/interviews after submission despite not having a cover letter. if you are absolutely required to write one, do not have chatgpt do it for you. use a guide from a human being who knows what they are talking about, like ask a manager or betterup.

but i don't even know where to start!

i know it's hard, but you have to have a bit of entrepreneurial spirit here. google duckduckgo is your friend. don't pull any bean soup what-about-me-isms. if you truly don't know where to start, look for an ATS-optimized resume template.

a word about neurodivergence and job applications

i, like many of you, am autistic. i am intimately familiar with how painful it is to expend limited energy on this demoralizing task only to have your "reward" be an equally, if not more so, demoralizing work experience. i don't have a lot of advice for this beyond craft your worksona like you're making a d&d character (or a fursona or a sim or an OC or whatever made up blorbo generator you personally enjoy).

and, remember, while a lot of office work is really uncomfortable and involves stuff like "talking in meetings" and "answering the phone," these things are not an inherent risk. discomfort is not tantamount to danger, and we all have to do uncomfortable things in order to thrive. there are a lot of ways to do this and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. not everyone can mask for extended periods, so be your own judge of what you can or can't do.

i like to think of work as a drag show where i perform this other personality in exchange for money. it is much easier to do this than to fight tooth and nail to be unmasked at work, which can be a risk to your livelihood and peace of mind. i don't think it's a good thing that we have to mask at work, but it's an important survival skill.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ good luck ⋆｡ﾟ☾｡⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎ ﾟ｡⋆

[too-many-blorbos]

Remember my "turn your blorbo into a mythical being" poll? Get ready for the sequel:

Clarifications below:

-"Involuntary Beast Form" means 1) turning into an animal under certain conditions, and 2) losing human cognition. Examples include were-creatures and the curse from Ladyhawke

"Monstrous Appearance" could include turning into animals IF they retain human intelligence. Examples include Brother Bear, Frog Princess, and Beast from "Beauty and the Beast"

-"Speech Constraints" means limits on what you can say. Examples include "can only speak the truth," "can only speak in rhyme," and even "cannot speak aloud at all" like in Little Mermaid.

-"Gradual Degradation" is something that spreads across the body over time and will eventually be lethal, or as good as lethal. Examples include mummy rot or slow zombification

-"Confined/Exiled" is like, "you can never enter you home again," or "you can never leave this glade again." It is distinct from being trapped in an object, because you're still able to interact with the regular world, just in a smaller space. "Indiana Jones Grail Knight" as opposed to "Genie in a Lamp"

-"Cursed Loved Ones" can be any curse, but it has to happen to the blorbo's loved ones instead of to them specifically. Assume, for the purposes of this poll, that your blorbo has at least one person this curse applies too. Same for killing a loved one.

-Yes, vampirism counts as its own curse

[krakensdottir]

Fav Aziraphale Moments in S2

Okay, I admit, I'm more of a Crowley blogger. He's my blorbo. But you literally can't love him without loving his other half. It's time to show some Aziraphale appreciation.

In no particular order, here are things Aziraphale did in S2 that made my jaw drop / breathing stop / otherwise really stuck with me:

Cradling the jar

Who would've thought hugging a jar of formaldehyde with a tumor floating in it could be heartbreaking? The look on Aziraphale's face when he learns it came from a young child, one that couldn't be saved, and the way his body language shifts as he tucks the jar close and precious against his chest, trying too late to protect it... Listen, I have really stubborn tear ducts, the final scene of S2 didn't make me cry (though it made a valiant effort), but I teared up at this.

Standing up to Crowley in the Job flashback

Really, the entire Job flashback is 10/10 for both of them. But Aziraphale especially shines when he steps in front of Crowley and says 'Tell me you want this.' They've only met a handful of times since the Fall at best, but Aziraphale is confident enough to call him out. And he doesn't falter or hesitate about it, either. He gets right up in the demon's face and makes him say it. Makes him lie outright that he wants to hurt anyone.

And then, of course, in front of the children, Aziraphale - no longer asking, now absolutely certain he's right - steps into Crowley's space again, looks him dead in his sinister eyes, and says he's dead sure those children are safe. Buddy, I had chills.

SPEAKING of chills...

I didn't know his voice could go that deep (Furfur scene)

Okay, I actually knew Michael Sheen could sound like that. But I admit, I 100% did not expect to hear it come out of Aziraphale. In the form of his own name, no less. I guess that's what happens when someone threatens Crowley right in front of him.

The sassy eyebrow

We've all talked about this but it's never a bad time to bring it up again. Shax really says 'You don't seem like his type' and Aziraphale's eyebrow says 'Honey you have no idea' right back at her. She can pry at his defenses in a lot of ways, but making him doubt his importance to Crowley is clearly not one of them. And that's really good to know.

Telling both demons and angels to fuck off

I was already giddy from seeing him go full Protective Principality at a horde of demons, but telling off the Archangels took it to a new level. He has had ENOUGH. Screw the angelic hierarchy, this is his bookshop and he's done. (Crowley giving him that oh-so-proud smile through the window without Az even knowing it was the icing on the cake. Yeah Crowley, I feel exactly the same.)

Honorable mention, again from the Job flashback: when Crowley says 'See you in Hell' and Aziraphale, instead of hesitating or having a crisis over it, defiantly sinks his teeth into the ox ribs again, tearing out another hunk of flesh. There's such a mood of 'Fuck it then, if this damns me I might as well enjoy it.' Fuck yeah, Aziraphale.

[patrice-bergerons]

Sooo many people's lives would be improved if they realise that the way someone interacts with something on tumblr is likely to be only one single facet of their overall experience with the said thing.

"X calamity is happening in my country but you guys are only posting about puppies! How can you be so self absorbed!" Babygirl just because I'm posting about puppies here doesn't mean I am not reading about the said catastrophe/donating/etc. also posting on tumblr is not activism

"It's so sad how most people can't interact with media outside the lens of shipping." I in fact can and do regularly do just that but this is the gay shipping website!! I come here for the shipping and you don't have a window into my head as I'm contemplating serious themes of serious books on my own / discussing it with rl friends / etc. Also people on tumblr make such a small fraction of media enjoyers generally speaking.

"I can't believe you are reducing this new and deep album from X artist Hozier to blorbos kissing." Shocking as this may be, one CAN both use song lyrics for fandom edits AND appreciate the deeper themes of an album. And people don't owe you essays on the latter just because they are doing the former.

In short stop assuming what people put on tumblr is the be all and end all of their lives and you will save yourself and others so much moral outrage <3

[jesterwriting]

Hellooo! I hope ur well !! Would it be a bother to ask for a head cannon/scenario list, with Zoro, Nami Sanji and Law? Reader’s lost in their own head, tries to let it out through battle- ends up with just needing to be in the comfortable, silent presence of their crew-mate/captain afterwards? You can take it however direction you want-!

Feel free to skip if it’s too much to ask!! Sending you lots of love and good wishes, hope you have a good day/night and take care of yourself 🫶💞

pairings: nami x reader, zoro x reader, law x reader, sanji x reader

word count: 1.8k words

contents: fluff, gender neutral reader, slight descriptions of depression, don’t fight when youre distracted or youll make your blorbos grumpy and worried

note: this was cute! my favorite way to spend time with someone is sharing a room with them hehe :3 i hope you enjoy these headcanons!!

Cat Burglar Nami

She is so focused on her own fight, she doesn’t notice how lost in your head you are until it’s over. Once everything dies down, that’s when Nami scolds you. If you’re in a fight, you give it your full attention, you could get seriously injured if you don’t. Nami knocks you upside the head for it, with love, of course. You’ll be nursing a bump for the next few hours, though Nami will grab you an ice pack if you whine about it enough. She rolls her eyes, but loves how you lean into her touch when she places the ice on your aching forehead.

Your thoughts are still racing as you pace up and down the length of the Sunny’s deck. If you looked in the mirror, you would swear your eyes were spirals. You couldn’t be alone, not right now, not unless you wanted to go crazy. To make things worse, your head still hurt. Nami sure packs a punch, though you know it's only because she cares. You’re lonely, and while you know she is busy navigating right now, you want her company.

The first thing Nami says when you find her is, “I’m still mad at you!” However, she doesn’t make you leave when you sit on the floor and lean your back on the wall. You watch her hands move, fingers curled around a pen as she works on a map. She narrows her eyes at you when she catches you staring at her, reminding you, yet again, that she’s still angry about you putting yourself at risk. When you give her a sheepish grin, she sticks her tongue out at you before getting back to work. Neither of you speak. As time passes, she relaxes, shoulders slumping and brows furrowed as she focuses. The comforting sound of pen on paper soothes your ailing mind. By the time you realize the sun is dipping under the horizon, your ice pack has melted and is nothing more than a sack of water.

Nami looks at you out of the corner of her eye. “Do you need another one?” When you say yes, she smirks and calls for Sanji, who comes running equipped with dinner and another ice pack for you. Her food is so good, you have to try it, stealing a sneaky indirect kiss from you when you share her fork. With Nami as company, you feel a lot better than you did before.

Roronoa Zoro

He notices quickly that you’re lost in your own head mid-fight — Zoro trusts you, but he can’t help but keep an eye on you during battle — and barks at you to get it together. You were hoping to take out your frustrations on the enemy, only to have clumsy footwork because you couldn’t stop thinking about how upset you feel. Zoro is blunt, but his harsh words come from a place of care. If you get hurt because you’re not paying attention, it’s no one’s fault but your own. That doesn’t mean he won’t worry if something were to happen. After the fact, he will double down on his reprimands. Everyone on the ship is counting on you, not only yourself.

You’re even more frustrated with yourself because he’s right. It’s hard to keep his words out of your head, mingling with the thoughts from earlier until you feel absolutely exhausted. You need peace. Somewhere quiet to lay and stare up at the sky for a while to remind yourself how little you are in the grand scheme of things. To you, your problems may seem big enough to swallow you whole. To the sea, they are nothing. The moon doesn’t care how inadequate you feel, the stars cannot fathom how tired you are. You climb up into the crows nest to be closer to them, in hopes that their indifference will rub off on you.

That’s where you find Zoro. He’s napping, though he acknowledges your arrival by cracking open an eye and giving you a nod. You take that as a sign that it’s okay to join him. With a deep breath, you settle next to him and stared up at the sky, tracing the constellations with your pupils. Zoro’s breathing eventually evens out, his loud snoring filling the space enough to drown out any of the negative thoughts that threaten to spill over. No words are spoken between the two of you, they don’t need to be. You enjoy having the presence of another body next to you, the heat from his skin so close by warming you from the nighttime chill. With the white noise of Zoro’s breathing, and the warm blanket of his presence soothing your thoughts, you drift to sleep.

The next morning you wake up with your head on his chest. Zoro is awake, acknowledging you with a grunt before he scoots out from over you and leaves the crow nest. Not before sending you a smirk, as if he hadn’t been letting you cuddle him for the better part of an hour, “Sleep well?”

Trafalgar Law

He notices you’re lost in your own head before the fighting even starts. Law is observant, he knows you like the back of his hand, studying your expressions and mannerisms until he can name your emotions before you can even recognize them. It’s likely he recognized your frustrations the night before, choosing to give you time to work them out on your own. If you don’t, he benches you. Don’t try to fight him on it. Unless you’re able to work through what you need to work through in the next ten minutes, you’re sitting this one out. It’s not that Law doesn’t trust you or have faith in your abilities, he knows that the enemies you’re about to fight are strong and you need to have your whole head in the game. He can’t have you getting hurt on his watch because he failed to recognize the signs that you might be suffering under mental duress.

After the battle, the ship is loud and full of celebration, none of which you want to take part in. Maybe you don’t feel like you deserve it because you didn’t do anything, or maybe you were just too exhausted, being alone with your negative thoughts while the fighting went on. Unable to stand it, you left in search of somewhere quiet. Not alone, you weren’t sure if you could handle being alone right now, but with someone to breathe the same air. If there is one place on the Polar Tang that would be quiet, it would be wherever Law is.

Law raises an eyebrow when you slink into his office. He’s in the middle of reading a book, one leg crossed over the other as he lounges in his chair. “What do you need,” He asks. You shrug and say you don’t want to be alone right now. Law can understand that, gesturing quietly to the chair across from his desk before he’s absorbed back in his book. You share the silence well. While you count the ceiling tiles, you listen to the sound of Law turning the pages of his book. Occasionally, Law will clear his throat, but that’s the only sound you get from him. It’s comfortable, companionable even. You could do this more often. Law’s presence is sturdy and makes you feel safe, the thoughts that run rampant in your head quiet in your captain’s presence.

Hours pass like that, until finally, Law closes his book and announces he’s going to bed. That’s your cue to leave. Before you’re out of your seat, Law asks if you feel any better, smirking a little to himself when you confirm you are. He enjoys sharing a space with you, even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud. You’re welcome back in his office anytime.

Black Leg Sanji

He is always watching you during a battle, just out of the corner of his eye. Sanji is naturally protective, especially of those he loves. Asking him not to worry about you during a fight is like asking a dog not to bark. Due to this, he notices how lost in your head you are almost the second the fighting starts. He takes care to watch your back, driving back the worst of the assailants to make up for your worse than average performance. After the fighting dies down, he asks if you’re doing alright and reminds you to take care of yourself in case something happens. He won’t always be there to protect you. Sanji doesn’t know what he’d do if you got seriously injured on his watch. More than likely, he’d blame himself for not protecting you properly.

You don’t have to seek Sanji out. After the fight, he asks if you would like anything to eat, offering to let you spend time with him in the kitchen while he cooks. Whether you’re hungry or not, you at least take Sanji up on his offer to spend time together. You still can’t think straight, the battle being nowhere near satisfying in getting your emotions out. Being alone right now is not high on your list of priorities. The two of you fall into step with each other as you make your way to the kitchen, and already his presence is a balm to your racing thoughts.

Sanji is truly at home in the kitchen. You know that now more than ever as you watch him cook. It’s like a dance, one he knows perfectly, and there’s a certain sense of grace to his every move. At first, Sanji will try to make conversation, though he slips into a comfortable silence when you explain you would rather not talk right now. He understands, offering you a kind smile before he’s back to work at the counter, chopping vegetables and sprinkling spices into the food. The comfort of a home cooked meal is just what you need, especially since Sanji cut the vegetables into the shape of little hearts. So focused on your meal, and Sanji’s beautiful blue eyes, you can’t remember what you were so upset about.

After you finish your meal, Sanji is insistent that you let him know you feel better before you leave. Give him a big smile and watch him flush, starry eyed at your expression. He feels better now that he knows you feel better. Anytime you need, you can come find him and he will spend time in silence with you, happily cooking you a meal.

[hyperfixatedfandomer]

12am incoherent Spider rant incoming:

The fact that a huge portion of Spider fans sympathise with him because they had similar family experiences in life is low-key making me feel kinda weird about people who hate him. Like let us recap the events real quick-

Like why do you hate a kid who did more to keep the Na’vi safe than Jake through the entire movie? “They’re after us” ok? This is not just about you dumbass it’s a whole-ass war, the RDA will still want to find the rest of your tribe because they want to ERADICATE your people 😐 the fact that it took him MONTHS to realise that running will not save anyone is 😬 (though I can get behind it bc family and all)

How is it that a goddamn 16 year old was the one who carried the good guy team??? 😐😐😐 he saved tribes from getting murdered, like literally, Tonowari said that no one had died, WONDER WHY???? DO Y’ALL THINK QUARITCH WAS NICE OUTTA NOWHERE???

And then he sunk a ship. HE SUNK A SHIP BY HIMSELF????

AND THEN HE INDIRECTLY SAVED KIRIS AND JAKE’S LIFE????

“He backstabbed them” I know you’re not blaming him for it when Neytiri exists 🧍 bestie outright REFUSED to help a literal child and didn’t bat an eye when he got captured. I can get behind her putting a knife to his throat in a rush of emotion but to very clearly ABANDON him? Fuck off. If her active decision to leave him behind didn’t turn into the reef Na’vi’s literal saving grace I’d be hating on her so actively.

“He saved his homocidal dad after he promised to murder his family” first of all the Sullys NEVER adopted him and it’s made abundantly clear. You sound like a gaslighter when you use that rhetoric. 😐📸

And secondly — HELL YEAH HE DID???? I would too if I was him and so would you and so would we all because Miles is the first grown up who GAVE A SHIT. MILES GENUINELY CARED. “It’s morally wrong” NO CAP 😀😀😀 NO ONE SAYS IT WAS RIGHT BUT THE KID HAD A SPLIT SECOND TO MAKE A DECISION AND HE CHOSE NOT TO BE A MURDERER.

You know what else is morally wrong tbw? Neglecting a child for 16 years.

“B-but they had no obligation to take care of a human kid—” cry me a fucking river 😐 what they want or not doesn’t fucking matter when we are talking about the mental health of an actual living breathing being. They ALL (the scientists, the Sullys and even the mf McKoskers or whatever the hell their last name is) were morally obligated to give that kid the best they could to ensure that he wouldn’t turn out like his father BECAUSE THEY’RE ADULTS.

The fact that their collective neglect DIDN’T blow up in their face is a pure miracle. Thant kid had every right to turn evil and burn the village that rejected him to feel it’s warmth but he DID NOT. In fact he is so goddamn kind and compassionate that he sees good even in a piece of shit monster like Quaritch.

It’s mind-blowing when we consider the lack of parental love and guidance throughout his life.

☝️ THIS is the kid you’re hating on???? Bc it’s starting to look suspiciously toxic 👀💅

Pay my boy some respect. He was a literal hero and y’all act like the Omatekaya, ignoring whatever good he might do and then point fingers at him when he does something morally questionable LIKE ITS NOT JAKES FAULT??? LIKE THE REST OF THE ADULTS ARE NOT AT FAULT TOO??

Neglect makes people vulnerable. Vulnerable enough for an asshole to swoop in and manipulate them and it is only thanks to Spider’s unyielding loyalty and heart that neither Ardmore, nor Miles had pulled anything out of him in MONTHS of captivity. They had NO idea where Jake or Omatekaya were until Norm fucked it all up with his trackable ship.

Listen I love all the blorbos, but the parents dug their own grave so to speak. You fumble the bag repeatedly and then get surprised when it flies into your face? 🤨

Anyway, I’m out. Might delete this later idk.

[burnin0akleaves]

Here's the draw six fanarts meme I decided to participate in 4 years late

In true burnin0akleaves spirit I didn't ask anyone for requests and just went ahead with all of the characters that have been the most impactful/important to me, so there is a high chance you've seen me draw these guys before.

By the way, unlike the rest of the blorbos here Siyra is an original character and belongs to @nineteen-rats!

Close-ups and rambles under the cut because it's my blog

Ohh the Dark Urge. My latest obsession. I love his design so much, I'm a slut for white/red color schemes, but I feel like it's a double edged sword that takes you out of the horrors he's commiting at the same time?

Durge is supposed to be murder incarnate, someone that does every fucked up thing related to death imaginable; but when you see a giant lizard eating babies or humping corpses, it dulls the effect a bit since you automatically view it as an animalistic act. Dragonborns are obviously a fully sentient humanoid race in-universe; but when the violence you're seeing is already toeing the line between horrifying and hilarious, seeing a scalie doing it just pushes it over the line. I still think it works really well most of the time and I'm very glad that this is the default durge we get! It's just funny to me that when you choose to play as the giant lizard, the dark and disgusting horror story turns into the hilariously edgy bloodfest.

Reminding everyone again that Siyra belongs to @nineteen-rats! I love this man so so so much. I am the Siyra fandom. I am the number one Siyra fanartist. He did nothing wrong and I will defend his every decision. I also hope terrible horrors befall him and that his actions keep him awake for the rest of his life. Pookie bear xoxo

COMING IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR IT'S WILL TREATY

He is on my mind, always. I don't talk about him as much but he's probably still the fictional character who had the most impact on me as a person.

PATROCLUS! PATROCLUS!!! SIR I'M YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!!

I got into patrochilles and the Illiad in general thanks to "The Song of Achilles". It was one of the first queer books I got to have in real life and the prose captivated me instantly, I still have it on my shelf. After reading the Illiad itself however, I hate that book so much. I'm sorry it's genuinely beautiful and I get why people like it but I can never forgive that horrible Patroclus characterization after seeing what he was originally like. Achilles too for that matter.

Hades swooped me up into its arms like I was a sick baby bird and nursed me back to health with its portrayal of the two though and for that I am forever grateful. I can't wait for Hades 2, death to Chronos.

God Half-Life is such an important series for me. My dad would let me play through a few levels since I was a child, he grew up with the games, but I REALLY played through the entire series one summer shortly before dad moved out. He was there watching me play most of it and getting to enjoy someone actually translate the game's dialogue for him for the first time.

Gordon may not speak once but I like the hints of his personality we get throughout the games, most importantly from the way Alyx talks to/about him. I have my own characterization of him obviously but I do really think you can get a good understanding of the kind of man he is meant to be in-universe just by paying attention to his surroundings. Also another reason the games were so immersive for me is that I'm just as in love with Alyx as Gordon is. I must have let her get hit only once or twice the entire time just out of how protective I was over her. I'd topple the entire Combine empire just for her hand in marriage. I rewatched the ending of Half Life Alyx recently and cried.

I read the entirety of LOTR in one week in 11th grade, carrying that damn brick of a book everyday to school and back. I'm so glad I did honestly. Frodo and Sam are my important little guys and I find myself going back to them when I need something to calm me down in a way no other series except LOTR can. I've read most of Tolkien's work at this point, but nothing captivated me like those two little hobbits. Everytime I read a bad take about their relationship I sketch them making out.

People liked seeing my drawing process before so here's the original sketch and the little notes I wrote to myself trying to set the mood. I followed like half of them.

[booigi-boi]

Would love to know your favorite Joey character (also love the way your draw him)

Aw, thank you 🥺🐐🐇💛🤍

But my fav Joey character? Yeah, I guess I can turn this into a mini show and tell, lol 👍

From Starkid: Ted Spankoffski, which is kinda obvious. Is he a terrible person who deserves the title of "Most deaths in the Hatchetfield series"? Absolutely. Is he still my blorbo? Absolutely 👨🐐

This man has no shame and I love seeing him die anytime he appears in a HF story ✨

From Tin Can Bros: Scrags, but mostly because I am unable to rewatch SAF more than once a year, cause it gives me such slaps in my face after act 2 starts that I am emotionally unable to watch it (/pos ofc, I just can't go through sleepless nights over gay spies anymore 🥲)

So sorry Owen lovers, I just like this depressed dog dad more (Especially after the Grunch, go watch it 🐕❄)

From Shipwrecked: Easily Ernest Hemingway, no debating, lol. Funnily it's mostly cause I love his costuming/design, like this brown on brown on brown is really speaking to the artist in me, ugh 🔪🤎🥃

(Also, I own the jacket, and Joey said it's cool I own something he wore and get to make look cool again, but it's so goddamn big on my 5 foot self,,,,,,)

✨Honorable mentions✨

Sergio's design from the SAF Kickstarter, just look at this boy, peak villain Joey design 💣💼

Dash Gunfire, who I've named most of my plushies after and have a crack theory about 🐇🤍🐇🤍 (He and Agent Curt Mega are related. No I won't elaborate, iykyk)

Tripp, the Brom's Babe who is definitely the most dramatic of the three 💞 (Also, I love these three in general??? Let them be gay and do crime and be probably terrible wing men to Brom) (Someone also ask me about all the headcanons I have about them, there's a lot)

Dracula Joey

I JUST LOVE ANYTHING DRACULA RELATED, OK?? ESPECIALLY IF IT'S RELATED TO THE BOOK! IDC IF HE ONLY APPEARED FOR 3 SECONDS, HE'S A REAL CHARACTER TO ME ❤🖤🧛‍♂️🥀

[ilgaksu]

i will now be referring to this situation as weimargate, because i must laugh or i will dissolve into the void.

aka i have had a VERY weird experience of it in fandom lately, and it has escalated to memes in lieu of interpretative dance*, but also i want to talk about it because i think, in more general terms, it's relevant for discussion about how fandom is evolving.

(*as illustrated by @difeisheng because i am personally intimidated by photoshop. interpretative dance would've only had me to blame.)

so. hi! if you don't know me, i am an ao3 writer who goes by the pen name ilgaksu. i have 179 fics on my ao3 account, and of those, 46 of these are for DMBJ or grave robber's chronicles. i've been writing in this fandom for roughly three years, which means according to the laws of mathematics and my own inability to stop posting about my favourite blorbos, that's a new fic every 3.39 weeks. i have not counted chapter updates in this count, but given several have multiple chapters, i think we can see there's....a lot. one ongoing series is currently sitting at about 200k, word-count wise. i like to write, overall, about disability, reclamation, legacy and memory. i also overuse semi-colons.

i am also a very private person at this point in my fandom career. this will be the first post i've made in a while talking about myself where i have allowed there to be reblogs on it. this isn't intended as an affront to anyone else in fandom. my ask box is open, sans anon, and in the last few years, i chose to reply to every comment i could to make sure i still get to engage about the characters i love without compromising my own desire for privacy about my personal life. i choose to work under an explicit persona - because we all do on the internet but i have made mine obvious and enunciated and almost a brand - because i think there is something freeing about allowing myself that experience. it's allowed me to write work that i relate to deeply without having to divulge my life to be analysed by strangers on the internet. generally, i like to post my silly little stories, talk to people about them, and then go about my day offline.

anyway, so this week, i seriously considered walking away wholesale from my current fandom, and i'd actually like to talk about why, and talk about me as a person as opposed to the narrative of persona that i've crafted.

because the reality of a persona is that a real, living person is required to animate it. if i am the person who is small and human and anxious to even speak about this, then i am also the reason the operation is running. it's a one-man show. as much as i want my work to speak for itself without my need to justify its meaning or worth, without my experiences, research and choices about my time, the work would not exist. that's just fact. it's fact for every writer and artist and podficcer and person who labours out of love you see. i also deliberately consider myself a writer as opposed to a content creator, because i believe that label mimics a wider culture i have no interest in - that of someone creating a consumable, ownable object. my fanfiction is a hobby. it cannot be owned by other people. unlike my original work, where it can be bought, there is no formal, explicit contract between me and the reader. there is, however, in fandom, an implicit social contract of equality and collaboration, where we are all equals. i am fundamentally no better than someone who never writes fic and never wants to and never will. i reject the idea of superiority among fans because i do not engage in subculture to mimic the dominant culture, the one that tells me stories are something only certain people are allowed to see themselves in, or even tell to others; that production is the only means of social capital and intrinsic worth.

i am aware, also, that by being private the way i am, i end up sacrificing some experiences that i could have by being more accessible, but i want to reiterate that i have never gone out of my way to conceal my tumblr, nor ignored people who contacted me directly to talk about my fic. in fact, if you show up to talk about my fic, i will probably be so thrilled i'll never let you leave - especially since, when it comes to a majority of it - i spend a lot of time on research, something i enjoy, and deliberately cite my research in the notes because i want to share it as part of the experience of my writing. clearly, i want ideas i have come up with to be enjoyed and loved and shared, because otherwise why would i take the risk of putting them out online, where i then cannot control how they're received or transformed?

however, since about a year ago, i've maintained a policy of works based on my own that i've had outlined clearly in my profile on ao3 here:

as someone who is playing in someone else's sandbox for free myself, my only request is if when you use an idea, usually a headcanon, which is one i created, which you can as much and in whatever way you want because that is the nature of collaborative fandom and the reason i love it so much, you cite that i was the originator of the idea. and secondly, that you let me know. this is a personal request based on how writing can be a very lonely project, even in fandom. you put your work out into the world, with no sense of who it will reach and if it will mean anything to them, and you have to work on the faith that even if it doesn't, the work itself was worthwhile. but you hope it will, because everyone hopes it will.

all of this is outlining so it's understandable to people that read this how i was completely off my face bewildered when i found out a headcanon of mine had reached the level of fanon popularity where it's been mistaken for canon, and has been for over a year at the very least, and i had literally no idea this had happened.

which, frankly, was both hilarious, in a very bizarre way, and completely, deeply sucked.

i know this is my idea because of how distinctive it is, and how much it contravenes canon - namely, that a character, hei xiazi, was a medical student in berlin during the weimar republic. i know it's mine because the timeline with the canon we're told by the actual writer of the source material doesn't match up, which i was aware of and chose to retcon. it was designed and fitted to a personal interpretation of canon material i had been working on for years, and involved a lot of time and research and intense love for the era, the character, and the ways a story about being alone in a foreign country had intertwined with my own personal life. ever since i wrote it, i assumed that the one or two people who had used it with credit were the only ones who had, and because they had honoured my request i was honestly completely thrilled. i still am that those fics exist. that's because it was collaborative.

i want to be clear: nothing about the situation as it stands has been collaborative. a writer being the last to know about the commonality of their own idea in a small fandom is not collaborative. and while it might not bother everyone, it's bothered me to the point i've had serious consideration for several days about whether i should walk away from the fandom.

but ilgaksu, surely you should be flattered that people liked the idea so much?

yes. this was never about the use of the idea. it's about the way this idea has been isolated and used with an assumption that i would have no interest in knowing, or that i would even need to know. i'm not sure what has caused this - whether the persona element of my work has led people to believe i would not have any emotions about finding this out, but i am not, actually, a persona. i am the person who uses it. and as the person who uses it, this is how it felt to find this out. it felt, and still feels uncomfortable, hurtful and isolating to find out your idea has been so beloved but that nobody considered whether you would like to know. it feels like the collaborative element of fandom has been severed from you, specifically, and that your fanwork has been treated as entirely other from you as a fan. i hope nobody else making work feels like this, and i've been told this situation is so strange as to ensure that's hopefully not the case, but i think this is an ongoing issue more widely - the idea that writers are separate from fan culture, and their works are products as opposed to the shared results of a hobby.

do i think this was deliberate? not at all. do i think this was intended to be hurtful? not even in the slightest. but i want to be clear how personal this feels.

i don't have an answer for this situation. the cat is out of the bag, ilgaksu knows about the fanon, and hei xiazi is, despite all canon, going to medical school in 1920s germany. expressing my discomfort with how this has gone down feels important to me anyway, and it's also important to me that i do it in this very detailed way so that people who were unaware do not feel personally at fault, or feel like by me expressing this i am taking this idea back from them. i always wanted this idea to be loved and to be shared.

i also always hoped this idea would find people who wanted and needed a story about someone a long way from home following an ambition, and how much fear and hope and desire goes into the decision to do something like that, and what it means to be a disabled person in a foreign country, and what it means to be queer in a foreign country, and overall what it means to be a stranger in a strange land. i want to be clear that while i wrote this for me, i also wrote it for everyone who has also lived that. i want my work to feel like someone is holding your hand, not that they're at a distance and disregarding you, the reader, and the relationship we have together during the time you read my work.

i hope in future that if you use my headcanons and are aware of that being the case, you let me know. i don't have to read the work itself if you find that intimidating. i will not go out of my way to find it. whatever you've done with the idea, i will fundamentally see it as a compliment and evidence of an exchange between us as a fandom. but i want to know because otherwise, all i see is you taking something i loved and wanted to share and enjoying it with a door firmly shut between us. i am too old to care if i'm not invited to a party, but if the party is themed around a concept i put so much thought and love - for the source material, the people who were going to read it and myself - i can't help but care. it's hard to feel like a vending machine, even if the process of making the fic is so joyful for me that i won't stop until the joy is gone. it hasn't gone yet, but this week it's been dented a bit.

anyway - if you got to the end of this, thank you. please be considerate of how much this has taken for me to express, regardless of your own feelings on it, and how unusual it is for me to make a post that is able to be shared. if you use the idea in future, you do so with my blessing, which was always there. if you want primary sources, places to start, or anything like that - fashion, language, visuals - i want to be clear you can ask me and i will be beyond thrilled to help. i always have been and i'm concerned that because of this that hasn't been clear. but i also feel like if i don't state this experience in this way at this time, and how it was experienced by me, odds are i will now forever look over my shoulder and wonder if this will happen again, and i love writing for this fandom so much that i will not allow something like that to dim that love. i know you love these characters so much too - it's why you're here. i actually used to make a lot more meta posts like this, about fan culture, and i've been considering if i will again - just less personal and less anxiety-inducing to post next time. until and beyond then, i just hope we can all consider things like this in future - that i can treat you with the same grace - and understand the pressures and anxieties of writers in fandom at this point in time especially. a lot of us have hearts far more made of glass about the things we love, like our work, than can be immediately apparent.

anyway, i'm going back into hiding now.

your friendly local cryptid fanwriter,

ao3 user ilgaksu <3

[bonefall]

can you tell us more about bb!shadowstar? I really liked her in dotc but I think that was because I read it years ago and my brain has ignored canon and made her my blorbo since then lmao

also dotc autocorrected to ditch and I think that’s where it belongs

She gets done SO dirty in canon OH my god.

BB!Shadowstar is a pious, quiet person who cares first and foremost about what's most beneficial to her cats, and her cats alone.

The Shadow Family is descended from Broken Shadow, who famously adopted The Tyrant and ruled by her side through the destruction of the Kinships.

With the lake poisoned and the ancient forest cut bald, it laid a curse on the family. All Shadow cats are born with pure black pelts. If they come without one, they are dead before their first moon.

Tall Shadow has lived her whole life with the curse of tyranny in mind. It defines her. She is both ambitious, and wants to rule through respect.

She cares immensely about the will of the Stars, and listens when they send a sign... though, she can still be guilty of interpreting their omens in a way that benefits her people.

She speaks with a LOT of "we" statements.

When Jagged Peak broke his leg and it didn't heal, it wasn't her idea to exile him. It was Clear Sky.

She didn't know how to feel about it, necessarily... it struck her as wrong, but he phrased it as fairness. "A cat who does not contribute cannot take. We can't make exceptions. He was broken for a reason."

When only Bright Storm returned, carrying a little kitten with a leg missing in the same spot Jagged Peak broke his, her stomach twisted in horror.

She was convinced, instantly, that Gray Wing had crafted that child. Xey had sent them a sign; what they'd done was cruel and unforgivable.

The first child of the forest, an echo of the first cat who died here.

From that day on, everything she did would be for the health and safety of ALL her cats. She would spend the rest of her life atoning for what she allowed to happen to Jagged Peak.

After a fight with Clear Sky because he rejected his child, Tall Shadow broke off her supporters. They didn't go to the Marsh at first, that happened slowly.

Their first camp was at Snakerocks, in the cave the dogs hid in many generations later. There's ochre drawings from them deep inside.

Her kindness only extended to her own cats, however. While she allowed Turtle Heart to bring Bumble to the group, she was clear that it was only on her vouch.

If Bumble couldn't learn to hunt then she would not be allowed to take. Clear Sky had still left a mark on her, and the whole Clan.

This wasn't a cruelty of herself alone; this was the agreement that the Clan had come to.

So when Turtle Heart died, they sent Bumble away. Thunder Storm returned from his time with Clear Sky. The rest is history.

But, when Thunder Storm and his cats came to ask for Bumble's kittens, Tall Shadow asked how she could know if they could care for them?

Part of her was legitimately concerned, and this was the part she put foward. Another part of her realized that the budding group could benefit her somehow.

She's not completely selfless, nor is she totally heartless. She's more influenced by Clear Sky's mindset than she realizes, but can take a stand when she feels it goes too far. Tall Shadow isn't above using people as chips to bargain, but stops short of putting them in danger.

Of all the leaders, she tends to play the most safe. Even Riverstar will stick his neck out for his ally Thunderstar on occasion, but Shadowstar needs to see something that could threaten her before making a move.