#can someone pls comfort this poor dragon | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ronni-right · 1 year

Note

I saw you say you were lonely so I kind of wanted to send you a blend of amazing that would hope to make you happy. Awesome mix of the nsfw prompts I'm super surprised more people don't grab. Journey of Daemyra sexi time. Please Rhaenyra 18+. Start, Daemon has been away years he returns but baby girl is repressing those old feelings. He catches her getting off at her room avoiding seeing him. Start -16 “Do you think of me when you touch yourself?” She only thinks of him. Next -5 “Touch yourself all you want, only I’ll be able to make you cum.” Followed by -3 “I want to take you apart in every way. With my fingers. With my tongue. Until you are nothing more than a sobbing mess for me.” -43 “would you prefer my fingers or tongue?” Poor Rhaenyra right? And next -14 “Look at you, I’ve only started using my fingers and you’re already shaking.” Combine with -25 “I love the way you look with my fingers inside you” Is this too much? I thought it could be fun to combine some of the best to tell a real sexi story and you could enjoy it. The end of -22 “You’re so tight, I doubt I could even fit inside you.” After he has truly made her a sob mess for him she speaks -38 “Do you think you deserve my maidenhead?” Daemon after proving his answer word and action says -48 “I can’t wait any longer for you” But of course the awesome end of them all is -51 “Why don’t you ride this dragon My Love.” Hopefully you like the combo made and story told with the words. Even if you don't like them all change any of like.

Fandom: House of the Dragon

Pairing(s): Daemon Targaryen x Rhaenyra Targaryen

Warning: 18+, Rhaenyra is over 18, uncle/niece, Targcest | Targaryen Incest, lose of virginity

Headcanon: Daemon returns from Stepstones, but his exile never happens as well as the brothel scene.

Author’s note: English isn’t my native language.

Dear Anon, I’m deeply sorry for working on this for so long. As I said before I liked your idea but I’ve got troubles with how to proceed with everything and I was figuring out plot far too long so it took a while, but no matter how lame my writing is, I hope you can enjoy it.

HotD Smut prompts you can send me in Asks. I’m still pretending someone is interested in my writing.

Word Count: 3717

It's literally been years. Years away from her, years of her longing for him, years of miserable life, easily irritated, easy to anger, no passion for anything that wasn’t Syrax or old books about Old Valyria. It was so sad without him. She felt void without his presence. She always feels like that when he isn't around.

Rhaenyra wants to say that these four years seemed like one day to her, but she would be lying if she said so. Those four years seemed like an eternity to her. But finally Daemon is back, as a winner, proclaimed King of the Narrow Sea, cocky and arrogant, and knowing his own value, far more valuable than anyone else to her, and dashing with his new haircut.

Daemon is back.

And Rhaenyra avoids him.

Not that she has real reasons to do that.

He hasn't changed drastically. The same man that left four years ago, only changed in how he looks but not who he is.

But she has changed a little. Rhaenyra didn’t rush into his arms when the opportunity arose, she kept her distance from him, except on the day of his return, when a party was held in his honor where he and her talked about marriage prospects and he told her that he wanted only the comforts of home.

Daemon returned, and her feelings for him lit up again. Rhaenyra thought that in these four years her feelings would disappear, but no, it didn’t happen. And her dreams about him became more persistent. Now she spends nights thinking about him, with a languor in her stomach, which is satisfied only by the fingers between her legs and the thoughts of him. She dreams about his fingers inside her, she dreams about him in her bed, kissing her, touching her and promising her that he will be her husband one day.

Rhaenyra looks at him across the table. She didn’t plan to spend this evening alone with him. They supposed to dine at father’s quarters, but the second before she supposed to leave her own bedchambers, Daemon burst into, telling that Viserys is ill, Alicent is staying with him, and they, her and Daemon, are to have dinner alone and a few moments later servants came to serve them dinner.

Daemon sips his wine, looking at her. She averts her eyes from him, looking at her already cold roast duck. She has no appetite. It’s silent, he already told her everything about war, she told about what happened in his absence in the capital.

The thing with Daemon: no matter how long they didn’t see each other, when they see each other again, it’s just like a few days passed. It was always like that, but not this time. Rhaenyra is a little bit tense about him, even though she enjoyed his company the day he returned.

“What are you thinking about?” She asks to fill the silence, finally looking at him and taking a few gulps of her own wine.

It’s her third cup, and Westeros wine knows to be strong and she feels its impact on her. She feels her cheeks are red, body is hot in her dress, and she likes the heat like all dragons do, but it makes her want to get naked. And when she watches Daemon, she knows she won’t be able to stop looking at him.

And Rhaenyra knows how her night will end, naked, not under the covers, spread on her bed while working her cunt wet. She found some books in the library, explaining men’s and women’s body parts, with pictures, and explaining how different bodies work, and how to find pleasure. She didn’t expect to find such a book in the library but she was glad she found it.

“I don't think you should know my thoughts, princess.” Daemon finally murmurs, and his gaze heavy on her.

“But your answer shows you have something to tell me.” She answers fast, eager to know what he has on his mind.

“I always have something to tell you, Rhaenyra.” He softly smiles at her and then chuckles: “As far as I remember you alway loved my stories.”

“Nothing has changed.” Rhaenyra will always love his stories and his soozing voice.

“Are you sure?” Daemon asks with an raised eyebrow, like he doesn’t believe her.

“Yes.” She nods.

“You seem distant these days.” He makes a remark. Daemon is indeed observant, and she averts her gaze and picks on the food even as she doesn’t feel like eating. Rhaenyra just needs something to do and has an excuse not to look at him because he sees through her. “And when you were a child you always seeked me out when I was at Red Keep. But you haven't done it once since I returned.”

Rhaenyra indeed isn’t a child. She is all grown, with desires she can’t sate alone. She can’t tell him the truth, that she avoids him because she wants him.

“I’m not a child anymore,” Rhaenyra answers softly, “and I’m busy with my duties. And we dine together every day.” She looks at him with a smile for a few seconds before looking down at her plate.

“Maybe it’s not enough for me.” He rumbles. “And you changed.”

She looks up at him:

“Don’t you like it? Don’t you see your little dragon in me anymore?” She asks apprehensively. He noticed a change in her behavior, though she hoped it wouldn't. But he is always too observant when it comes to her.

“You are my little dragon, no matter how old you are.” He says it in a low, soft voice, and his smile is also soft, his eyes filled with tenderness for her. And only to her. Only with her can he be gentle, although this is completely not in his nature.

“I hope it won’t ever change.” She bats her eyelashes at him. She really hopes it won’t ever change.

“I can swear it won’t.” He says, and it's a promise.

She beams at him. Daemon never once broke any promises he gave her.

“So … did you miss me?” Daemon asks.

“Maybe just a little.” Rhaenyra tries to sound serious. It’s a lie of course. She missed him terribly.

“Just a little?” He raises an eyebrow.

“You know, I have little time to miss you. After all, I used to you being away longer than you stay there.” It’s a sad truth. It broke her heart every time he was banished after just a few months he stayed in Red Keep. She cried and begged him to return, begging her father to make Daemon stay. But her wishes were never granted. As she grew, she cried and begged less, but her heart was broken anyway.

“Do you want to change it, my little dragon?” He asks with a teasing.

“It doesn't matter what I want,” Rhaenyra sighs heavily. “You always piss father off and it always ends the same, you get yourself banished.”

“I'm planning to not repeat this.”

“What?” She is surprised that it shows on her face.

Daemon takes another sip of his wine before saying:

“Like I said, I want comforts of home.” And there is a deep meaning, but she doesn’t understand him right now, her mind a little bit clouded. Nor does she understand why he looks at her so focused and determined.

Rhaenyra doesn’t answer immediately, sipping her wine. Maybe she should stop. It’s her third goblet after all. But after a pause, she licks her lips and tells him:

“We will see how long you will last.”

“I promise it will last long.” he salutes her with a goblet and winks at her.

“Why?”

“Because I remember it made you happy. And I want to make you happy. And I will stay there as long as you want me to be by your side.”

Rhaenyra feels hot at this confession. She wishes for him to stay by her side forever. But she doesn’t tell him that, saying:

“Thanks, uncle.” She salutes him back and empties the cup to the bottom with Daemon doing the same and still watching her.

🌘

The fire in the fireplace paints her room in dark red, and shadows dance on the walls. The fire gives a lot of warmth and not so much of a light, so it’s almost dark. And darkness keeps secrets of what she does at night. Rhaenyra sighs and lets her legs fall apart. She is already wet, it’s all because of Daemon's presence. She brushes her thumb over her clit lightly. Like always she imagines Daemon touching her, Daemon’s hands and fingers, much longer than hers and rough from his sword. She strokes herself slowly and arches at her bed, rubbing herself faster.

“Daemon,” Rhaenyra moans quietly, not registering the intruder's presence, who looks at her with a hunger no one but her could sate. She cries softly and opens her eyes just to gasp as she sees Daemon standing by her bed. Rhaenyra doesn’t immediately react to his presence. Probably a few seconds pass, she stares at him, he looks at her naked body before she exclaims: “Daemon!” Rhaenyra immediately throws a blanket over herself, wrapping herself in it. “What are you doing here?!”

He pouts when she wraps herself in a blanket. And he looks disappointed but then he grins:

“Do you think of me when you touch yourself?”

Rhaenyra only thinks of him of course, but she exclaims:

“No! I don't!” But she should be quieter. If the guards at the door heard her, they would no doubt decide to find out what was going on and if she was safe. And if they catch Daemon in her room, then Daemon will be sent into exile again. And how did he even get into her room, bypassing her guards, who should not leave her room at all while she is inside?

Daemon silently examines her face, standing at the foot of her bed.

“No?” His lips curve into a smirk once again and he whispers: “You whispered my name, Rhaenyra. There is no one in Red Keep who is named Daemon but me.”

Rhaenyra called for him. He is the only man she wants and sadly the man she couldn’t have because of his marriage to Lady Royce and because father won’t ever approve of Daemon as her husband even if she lists hundreds of reasons this match is the best one.

“You shouldn’t be there, Daemon.” Rhaenyra states, looking at her blanket.

“You cried for me, princess.” He speaks in a barely audible voice.

“You should leave.” She answers in the same manner.

“Are you sure you want this?”

Rhaenyra just nods, not trusting her voice. She knows Daemon stares at her, feels his heave gaze on her, but she still looks at the blanket. It’s the right thing for him to do. Her reputation would be ruined if any one gets a whiff of him being in her chambers that late at night. But she doesn’t want him to leave. Her cunt aches, unsatisfied.

Daemon moves, and on a few broad steps he ends up standing by the headboard. He leans to her, his hand rests on the apex of thighs, and his nose is pressed against her temple, and he whispers hotly in her ear:

“Touch yourself all you want, only I’ll be able to make you cum that you will forget everything.” Daemon lingers by her side, nuzzles into her hair for a few seconds before kissing her temple and moving from her. He respects her, she knows it perfectly well, that’s why he retreats.

Rhaenyra looks after his retreating figure, realizing with regret that if he leaves now, her opportunity to be as close to him as possible will also disappear. He would never visit her like that again.

“Daemon,” she calls him softly and he stops, turning just slightly to her. “Do you want me?” Maybe he will find this question to be silly, but she wants to be sure. She wants him wanting her, not the throne, not the crown or the position he may hold if he stays by her side.

When he turns to her and says:

“I want you, Rhaenyra.” She believes him.

Rhaenyra pushes the covers away and rises to stand on her knees. Daemon doesn’t need any other answer from her and he returns to her immediately, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. And she melts against him immediately, her hands coming up to clutch his shirt while he holds her face in his palms, kissing her softly and intimately. Rhaenyra doesn’t know how to kiss properly, but she learns fast, mimicking his movements. And the kiss turns to be more heated with every second, until he parts from her to take a deep breath. It's just a few inches between them, and he breathes into her lips, while looking her directly into the eyes:

“I want to take you apart in every way. With my fingers. With my tongue. Until you are nothing more than a sobbing mess for me.”

There is a heat pooling between her thighs that demands to be sated, and her cunt throbs. She needs this, she needs him. Rhaenyra pulls him down to kiss him again. And when his lips touch her, Daemon hands move from her face to her waists and then up her body and he gropes her breasts. It sends a jolt of pleasure and she presses herself more against his palms. Daemon growls against her mouth, his hands rubbing and squeezing, while he kisses her.

“You are perfect,” He says when he pulls from her again. Rhaenyra whimpers at the loss of the contact, watching him taking off his boots. But then he is on her again, and she doesn’t even notice how she finds herself on her back, and he hangs over her, kissing her lips first, then her cheek, moving lower, kissing every inch of her skin, his palms on her thighs. He nuzzles her skin, nibbing all the way he goes. Rhaenyra doesn't have a lot of things to do, being in this position, but she runs her fingers through his hair and he makes a throaty groan that makes the wetness between her legs increase. Daemon kisses her under the belly button and looks at her, asking:

“Would you prefer my fingers or tongue?”

Is he joking right now?

“Can’t I have both?” She pleads. “Please, uncle.” Rhaenyra is hot all over, and so-so wet, she was never that wet.

“I knew you would say that, my little demanding princess.” Daemon smirks, spreading her thighs slowly. “You are spoiled to the core.”

“Partly it’s your fault.” She says and whimpers, when his two fingers rub over her clit.

“And I enjoyed every second,” Daemon doesn’t stop his actions, rubbing her clit that makes her buck her hips against his fingers. “And I plan to enjoy it in the future.” And he presses his face into her cunt, lapping at her slick folds.

Rhaenyra pants and rolls her hips to seek more, and as she does so, Daemon grunts more. There is no denying he likes it all like she does. Daemon slides a finger into her cunt, and she freezes. She never did that, and it’s a new sensation that fills her, and she likes it. Daemon pumps his finger in and out, asking:

“Good?”

“Yes,” she whimpers and Daemon smiles.

He presses a kiss to her soft thigh, then to her clit, with his fingers working inside her. And seconds later he adds a second finger. Rhaenyra gasps and grips his hair.

“Daemon,” she moans, her body shaking and wriggling on the bed from pleasure.

“My little dragon, look at you, I’ve only started using my fingers and you’re already shaking.” He says teasingly, stopping his fingers from moving, still inside her. His gaze burns as he looks at her cunt. “I love the way you look with my fingers inside you.” Daemon whispers and then licks her clit again, continuing to move his fingers again, spreading her apart.

It feels good, better than her own fingers and Rhaenyra grids into him, taking his fingers inside her and clenching around them. “You’re so tight, I doubt I could even fit inside you.” He murmurs against her clit.

It’s a torture, really, but what a sweet torture, as she wriggles on her bed, seeking the release, but everytime she is almost there, he stops, moves to nib at her thighs. Rhaenyra doesn’t know how much time has passed, but she is a sobbing mess, on the verge of crying because she wants the relief so badly.

“Daemon, stop.” She pleads and Daemon stops and looks at her. “Do you truly think you deserve my maidenhead? That you deserve me and the place by my side when I would be crowned.” Rhaenyra asks, far too serious for the situation they are in.

Daemon moves to her, pressing his forehead into hers:

“No lord but me deserves you, Rhaenyra. We share the same blood, and We have always been meant to burn together. We both know it. And I really can’t wait any longer for you. I need you right now. I want you to be mine forever.”

Rhaynera wants him. And she will have him. So she helps him to get rid of his shirt and pants. His skin is covered in scars and burns. But it causes even more excitement. This shows that he is a fighter, the best in the kingdom. And the fire didn’t kill him, because he is a dragon. Rhaynera looks at his cock, red and hard between his legs. And this makes her cunt to gush more slick.

“Will it-” she stops, not knowing what question to ask, will it hurt or will it fit because he is so huge. But she doesn’t feel any fear. Rhaynera wants to touch his cock, taste it, suck on it and maybe chock.

“It will.” His eyes are soft and he rests his hands on her sides, caressing her. And she doesn’t know whether Daemon said it will fit or will it hurt but it will is an answer to both of her questions. “But we can always stop.”

“No.” Rhaynera says far too fast that it makes him chuckle.

Daemon kisses her passionately. They stroke each other, wherever they can reach, and then, when they are both panting, he pulls away. His hand is big, but it doesn’t cover all his cock as he wraps his hand around his cock. And she likes the size difference between them when Daemon covers her with body, lining his cock up with her cunt.

“I will always take care of you, Rhaenyra,” he presses a kiss to her head and the same moment he enters her slowly.

They look at each other, while he pushes his cock in further. He doesn’t rush, gives her time to adjust and it’s painful, at first, but she just whispers “keep going, don’t stop” and he doesn’t stop until he is fully inside her.

She can’t deny pain is there, sharp, but it goes away and there is pleasure. Daemon peppers her face with little kisses, his palm rests on her hip while his other palm strokes her clit. And she adjusts to him inside, adjusts to the heavy pressure of him. He doesn’t move until she breathes:

“You can move.”

She doesn't expect him to come out of her completely but he does and she whimpers from the loss, however she doesn't have time to say anything because in an instant she's sitting on his hips.

“What?” Rhaynera asks, not knowing what he wants to do.

“Why don’t you ride this dragon, my Love?” Daemon nuzzles her neck, his cock pressed to her cunt. “It will be easier for you and you can control me that way.”

She just hums and he kisses her again and lines up his cock with her hole. Rhaynera moves slowly, but she slides at his cock until she is seated fully, moaning and gripping at his shoulders while he kisses her neck.

“You are the most perfect lady, my little dragon. And all for me,” he moves his hips up, and she cries in pleasure, clenching around him that makes him moan. He is thick and heavy, and fills her completely.

It doesn’t take her long to navigate how to ride him. And Daemon helps her with his hands gripping her hips as she rides him. His cock hits all the right spots inside and every move they make overwhelms her with pleasure.

“I love you, my little dragon,” Daemon whispers and seals his lips to her, gripping her thighs tight.

“I love you too,” Rhaynera whispers and somewhere along the way it’s him fucking into her and not her controling the process but she likes it anyway, the pressure and how good he makes her feel and how his cock drags over her walls that makes her see stars.

Rhaynera feels the building pressure and she cums when he reaches the deepest spot inside her cunt. It’s shattering and she holds him tight, pressing his head to her shoulder. She cries out his name, feeling boneless. Her eyes are slightly wet from tears but it’s happy tears. Daemon fucks her through her orgasm, kissing her tears away. And it takes him more thrust to cum inside her, painting her with his cum.

They stay like that for a few moments, him burying inside her as they slowly kiss but then he pulls away and arranges her in bed, with her half on top of him, safe in his arms under the covers he pulls to cover them.

“I want us to be wed, but father-,” she mumbles, cuddled into her chest.

But Daemon presses a finger to her lips:

“I will make him see reasons, my dragon.” He runs his palm over her bare back and forth and it’s snoozing.

She hums and closes her eyes, warm and content, believing him.

☀️

The next day raven comes with a news:

“Lady Rhea Royce is dead.”

And Daemon is free. But for how long? As this time he wants to be married.

#daemyra #daemon x rhaenyra #rhaenyra × daemon #daemon targaryen #rhaneyra targaryen #matt smith #milly alcock #hotd #house of targaryen #house of the dragon #hotd smut

10 notes · View notes

unpretty · 3 years

Text

astielle ch 28 spoiler ask dump~~

anonymous asked:

Tauril-form is puberty, because that's when his voice changes. Abysscale-form is college-age because that's when he goes to his first orgy.

anonymous asked:

You called Abysscale-form college-age (which does not preclude teenage sexscapades given the ages that go to college) and that tracks with how I think of Tauril-form as going through puberty (because of the voice-change). But if Tauril is the horny teenager that's kind of sad. Because as Minnow has pointed out many times That Dick Will Kill.

not each other, it won't!! although i imagine taurils sleeping with each other would have the bro-iest vibe. very bill and ted. taurils also have Options with people who aren't giant bull centaurs, it's just awkward is all. fortunately for everyone taurils are actually adults and are not full of hormones, they just have zero impulse control and when they like someone they want to impress them and spend time with them and it doesn't necessarily occur to them to get their dicks involved in the situation (karzarul's mind was elsewhere the first time he was a tauril)

anonymous asked:

When Violet said monsters make the best mercenaries and throw the best parties I didn't think about it, but the fact that all the impyrs came into being with swordsmanship skills equal to Lynette probably had something to do with the former. Even if ten isn't that many, THEY COME BACK. (Eventually. In, like, a month.) And the others probably learned from Lynette, even if they died. Lynette's unintentional teaching, back again.

they learned from the best murdering them repeatedly

anonymous asked:

When Ari is repopulating, and he skips Black Drakonis, he says "Makes sense." But he's surprised when Violet points out that Black Drakonis is missing, so it sounds like he at least had a theory/assumption at the time for why she was skipped, but it doesn't match with the new information.

he initially just assumed that black drakonis had managed to avoid being killed the whole time, which made sense because she's a big dragon and she can just fly away if someone is trying to murder her. but generally if a bigass monster is alive someone is going to see it, especially her, because she likes finding population centers to try to guard.

anonymous asked:

"It also occurred to him that trying to get Minnow to act like she lived in a society since they were young may have negatively impacted his sense of what constituted an acceptable thing to say to a person while his dick was out." Is just HILARIOUS.

anonymous asked:

Honestly I can relate to Leonas cause just last week I was like 'I keep falling asleep in class maybe I should develop a caffeine addiction' and one of my friends was like 'pls eat more food' so I started to actually have breakfast and an after work snack and I magically stopped falling asleep in class

anonymous asked:

Minnow's hips don't lie, but castle ruins are strangely deceptive.

everyone who wasn't following along when astielleblogging intersected with kink taxonomy hell is going to be so confused if/when minnow finally gets stuck somewhere

@9ofspades asked:

Ari is my favorite again and I want him to have actual eternity to be happy with his poly soulmate throuple together. And also his big monster family. Also I think he's wrong about what the core of the Heir and Hero are - both of them have, deep in the core of their souls, the fact that they are Monsterfuckers.

for the record i have a post in my drafts with all of your readalong asks and i still haven't decided what to do with them but i enjoyed them IMMENSELY

anonymous asked:

>looking for food >ask the cook if their food is earthy or wet >she doesn't understand >pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is earthy and what is wet >she laughs and says "it's good food sir" >buy some food >its wet

@ivylaughed asked:

I love the tumblr meme references in Astielle. The guards bringing their own knives; there being an infinite variety of brassica oleracea; the fucking chocolate guy. I'm half-waiting for a children's hospital/color theory reference. Thank you for the easter eggs.

i'm glad someone read 'chocolate birdhouse' and immediately thought THAT FUCKING CHOCOLATE GUY AGAIN ashjasd

anonymous asked:

I just wanted to say that as a plant nerd and forager I deeply appreciated Minnow's surprisingly accurate botany lesson.

unfortunately all the books that leonas gave minnow are still at her house and so she cannot cite sources for the existence of hemlock, queen anne's lace, and giant hogweed

anonymous asked:

“I think you overestimate people’s willingness to admit when things don’t make sense to them," lmao Minnow has a point

will the two men she is with learn from this and start admitting when they don't know things they think they should and are confused? absolutely not.

anonymous asked:

XD Ari hears "Kavid" and immediately attempts a strategic retreat.

anonymous asked:

“‘you should get dressed’ is a complete sentence.” Is making me laugh.

it's probably for the best because if he actually had known all three of them were out there it would have taken him like an hour to get ready and he would have had at least one breakdown about how none of his outfits were good enough and it was all nari's fault

anonymous asked:

Kavid: I will be happy to HAVE YOU ALL *lascivious eyebrow wiggle* at my earliest convenience.

anonymous asked:

"he gets smaller" "in this weather who doesn't?" KITTY PLZZZ

anonymous asked:

I can't decide whether I love or hate Kavid - I have a very Specific idea in mind for his voice, though I admittedly can't figure out where I'm pulling it from. He is an Excellent character though. Lovely chapter as always :D

anonymous asked:

Before, I was entertained by Kavid. Now I love him.

anonymous asked:

Kitty, Kraven and Kavid have similar speech patterns on purpose, right??? Right?????

i was honestly imagining some kind of nonsense faux-european what-country-is-this-even-from hollywood accent but imagining that he has sounded extremely russian this whole time is extremely funny

@rose-and-bones asked:

SHE HAS A TYPE aghfgstjs

minnow having a thing for obnoxiously pretty men who think they're great aka self-recognition through the other (horny)

@speakingintothevoid asked:

“You are,” Leonas said, “an egotistical, self-important fop.” “Ye-e-es,” Kavid said without shame. “She has a type, does Starlight.” I! LOVE!! IT!!! Makes me almost think of Violet and Karzarul - our point of view character being faced with a version of themselves who are more comfortable in their own skin and our boys not knowing why that annoys them

@keleviel asked:

I rescind my earlier mild disdain, Kavid is great. Is he actually The Greatest Of Bards, or is that just more showmanship?

he rocks about as hard as you can rock on a lyre, which is probably harder than you'd think (especially if you brought a lot of drummers) (which he does)

anonymous asked:

Jakshahshsh every time a new astielle chapter comes out i read it at least twice. Kavid i love you. Leonas i love you also you fucked up lil man. And karzarul the seat. And minnow the mischievous. and just. poor nari. existing in the same world as minnow and her all-powerful boyfriends and also kavid. nari needs a raise

she really does

anonymous asked:

Bruce in Office Meeting and Leonas grabbing the wine when Kavid starts talking about Imperials solidarity.

anonymous asked:

"You would like to compare notes?""Always." Brilliant. Leonas to a t. Loving this interlude with kavid. Snuggly tipsy leonas is a treat. kavids talk of how the weather makes all of us smaller had me cackling. Also this batshit imperial conspiracy is gr8

anonymous asked:

I am suddenly much less comfortable about Leonas performing medical experiments on Minnow, though no fault of his own. :(

@mooseman13579 asked:

Leonas finding out about the weird sun empire truther stuff: haha I'm in danger

the real unanswered question is how much of this is news and how much of it is stuff he already knew and assumed was normal

@thegayknee asked:

Holy shit this is it, isnt it. This is how they fix karzarul's reputation and expose Leland. With the power of Kavid

anonymous asked:

Karzarul's Questlog: "Work on our Image" updated, The Tale of Hollow Monsters delivered to bard.

anonymous asked:

just how many of her lovers is minnow going to recruit into her questing party

she should probably be swapping people out to keep their levels consistent but instead she just keeps karzarul and leonas as her companions for every single quest

@flying-butter asked:

"Details! I need details!" "The king sucks." This is every conversation with any of the trio. Minnow likely knows how to complete half of Ari's quests and Leonas the other half, but no one talks about anything without prompting.

minnow just assumes that everyone knows what she knows because she can't possibly be the brains of the operation and meanwhile karzarul and leonas are both busy having shame

anonymous asked:

i was so excited for the lore drop but the moment Leonas sat in Karzarul's lap my brain just shut off

@themaidenisdeath asked:

oh yes, as we all know, "all business" and "taciturn" are the first words that come to mind when we think of Minnow. It reminded me of when she met Karzarul and he told her she was particularly chatty for hero. Sorry Kavid, you're just neither a Sweet, Considerate Monster with a Dick of Steel And Tentacles To Match™ nor a Twink Prince With Silky Hair, Dom Tendencies And Weird Dietary Beliefs™

@halfdeadfriedrice asked:

"what Hero business?" / "I'm the Hero. All my business is Hero business." You tell em Minnow! And then it turns out to be Quest relevant after all; all business is Hero business Also kavid's last night's makeup and messy convertible couch covered in laundry with half-empty wine bottles on the floor is THEE most visually resonant, I feel like I am visiting a college friend

leonas got very lucky that there weren't any cigarette butts floating in that wine because in his mood he might have just drank it anyway

#original #astielleblogging #writeblogging #astielle spoilers

87 notes · View notes

silverbastardgoldenfool · 3 years

Text

Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Assassin’s Quest

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

Keep in mind I’m writing this months after finishing the book lol (it’s mental illness innit). I have LOTS of notes to go off but yeah, things aren’t as fresh in my mind overall. With that said the biggest difference I can think of between my first and second experience with AQ is my feelings towards Kettricken. I think the first time around reading you know that Fitz is an unreliable narrator but you are still limited by his viewpoint so you can get a bit trapped seeing things the way he does. For this reason, I think I pretty much just forgave Kettricken when he did on my first read, whereas on this read I was like……. Waiting for her to actually apologise and show some sympathy towards Fitz and it just…. Never happened.

Like, don’t get me wrong, I still love Kettricken as a character and I fully recognise that she has been traumatised. I don’t expect her to be nice or act rationally, and in the case of being willing to take Nettle for the crown… It’s cold but she’s doing what she feels she has to. My issue is - do what you have to, but don’t expect Fitz to understand or forgive you (same with Starling). But I think what bothered me the most was how Kettricken would constantly confide in Fitz and break down to him and he was always there to let her do so, yet she NEVER gives Fitz the chance to do the same. The one time he does “open up” in a sense is when she forces him to air out his traumas in front of everyone, and she didn’t show him any sympathy for what he’d been through then or later. She has been through hell, absolutely, but while her plight may not have been any better than Fitz’s it certainly wasn’t any worse. She pretty much had two modes in this book: completely cold or a crying wreck - but she was only ever crying for herself. She lets Fitz console her but she never consoles him. Again, this is a result of her own trauma and I don’t expect her to act any differently, but it just reaffirmed for me that while she and Fitz care for each other deeply it is not an equal relationship. Fitz feels an obligation to serve her and she - knowingly or not - takes advantage of that. Like, after realising that this is their dynamic it is so obvious that the same is true in Royal Assassin as well, and it will be interesting to see how it changes (or doesn’t) in Tawny Man as I don’t remember it well enough to say.

Must reiterate: Kettricken is still a great character and I still have a lot of respect for her, unfortunately she just falls into the overfull camp of people who love Fitz but have an unhealthy power dynamic with him.

The other big difference I noticed was that the Verity stuff just wasn’t as devastating this time. Not because it was any less sad but it just didn’t tear out my heart like it did the first time. That’s not a fault with the writing at all, I think it’s just the fact that, knowing what would happen to Verity and that we wouldn’t see the real Verity again, I kind of already let go of him at the end of Royal Assassin.

Something you can’t believe you forgot

I guess more of a misinterpretation/wishful thinking but like, realising that there is no passage explicitly stating that Fitz and the Fool were actually spooning in the mountains murdered me and spat on my corpse.

Oh also!!! Fitz yeeting himself out the window at Tradeford castle jskaskjf

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

I love Kettle in general and the way we’re introduced to her as a cranky old lady sets her up perfectly

Favourite character arcs

Man they’re all so fucking sad lol but I guess the Fool? He goes from thinking Fitz is dead and his purpose failed to reuniting with Fitz, their relationship growing into something really real for the first time, and actually completing his mission - at least for now lol. This book is really the first time you get to see the Fool be properly vulnerable. Even when he was getting beaten up by Regal’s guards he always had his veneer of snark and superiority to hide behind - and I doubt when he went through his sicknesses at Buckkeep he would have revealed his weakness to anyone in order to be helped. But in the mountains he lets so much of that facade of the King’s Fool fall away - at least when it’s just him and Fitz. When he and Fitz meet again he lets Fitz see his grief and pain and hopelessness and joy as the Fool looks after Fitz, and then later when it’s the Fool who needs looking after he lets Fitz look after him. When was the last time the Fool had anyone really care for him like that, ya know? Had someone protect him purely out of love? Ouch dude!!!!

Also he gets to kiss Fitz at the end so good for him!!!!!!!!!! Be gay ride dragons!!

Favourite quote/s

“I would kill Regal. It only seemed fair. He had killed me first.”

“I had looked into the heart of my enemy. I still could not comprehend him.”

“The more I drank, the less tolerable my situation seemed. And the more intolerable I became to my friends.”

“I had never thought to be disdained by a tree.”

“The Fool, the Fool, only the Fool. I sought for him. I almost found him. Oh, he was passing strange, and surpassing strange. He darted and eluded me, like a bright gold carp in a weedy pool, like the motes that dance before one’s eyes after being dazzled by the sun. As well to clutch at the moon’s reflection in a still midnight pond as to seek a grip on that bright mind. I knew his beauty and his power in the briefest flashes of insight. In a moment I understood and marvelled at all that he was, and in the next I had forgotten that understanding.”

“When you can either laugh or cry, you might as well laugh.” - the Fool

Favourite relationships

Fitzandthefoolfitzandthefoolfitzandthefoolbahslbghabfhalgngjba

Also fitz and nighteyes (speaking of which, Nighteyes’ arc in this book is also fascinating and surprisingly complex) and Fitz/Nighteyes/Fool mwah magnifico chef’s kiss

Favourite setting

Kelsingra baybeyyy. I remember the first time reading this having no fucking clue what was happening in that chapter but I guess it was the gay agenda all along

Favourite chapter

It’s gotta be the chapter where Fitz and the Fool reunite, right? Catch me just gradually losing my grip on reality with every lingering stare

Most loved character

Foooooooooool

Most hated character

Ya know, for a minute I was actually wondering if I would like Starling this time round but yeah no lol. She was actually okay for a while but as soon as she sold Fitz/Nettle out she became The Worst, just as I remembered her. It’s not even because she betrays Fitz but because, like Kettricken, she expects Fitz to forgive her for it, to the point of running to tattle to the queen because Fitz isn’t giving her enough attention (I’m also not impressed with Kettricken for actually getting involved instead of just telling her to grow up). Not to mention her constantly misgendering/gendering (??) the Fool or just assuming the Fool’s gender and loudly fucking proclaiming it to everybody is just truly fucking disgusting. Like I cannot even explain how furious I was reading her incessantly using she/her pronouns for the Fool despite no confirmation that her theory is right or that the Fool is comfortable with this and despite EVERYONE ELSE using he/him pronouns. God I’m mad now lol. She just acts like a spoilt brat and it makes my blood boil. But that’s probably because I have known many people like this so… Good character writing lol congrats

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

The whole first chapter/s are just so heavy and carry on that gut wrenching feeling from the end of Royal Assassin. Fitz just has no real desire to live and watching him systematically severing the last few ties he has to his human life is just so sad.

Even though I wasn’t as attached to Verity this time, his goodbye to Fitz still made me cry

As did Fitz giving Kettle her skill back

Verity using Fitz’s body to have sex with Kettricken really got to me this time, mostly because I either didn’t notice the first time or had forgotten just how much it affects Fitz. It’s no wonder he doesn’t want to acknowledge Dutiful as his son when the event that brought that fact into being was so fucked up and traumatic. It’s really upsetting.

Burrich saying he almost took Fitz to Chivalry and he should have never let the Farseers take Fitz just …… breaks my heart. Just seeing Burrich so raw like that in general is so unusual it really takes you aback.

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

Strap in lads this part is lonnnngggggggg

Is it bad to immediately want to cry just from seeing “Sandsedge” on the map and thinking of Sandsedge brandy

I never really thought about how poor Hap didn’t get the real Fitz all those years and how their relationship could have been if Fitz hadn’t been partially forged

Pls I have no idea why but to picture someone as emotionally repressed as Fitz actually sitting down and writing about his life makes me want to fucking cryyyyeeeee

Fitz in the prologue talks about needing a purpose as something to distract himself from sinking [into his chronic pain, mental illness and addiction] and boy howdy if that ain’t relatable. As someone with mental illness and chronic pain Fitz is just painfully relatable way too often.

“I have never forgiven myself the triumph I ceded him when I took poison and died.” Fitz :(((( my guy :((((((( forgive yourself for surviving however you could baby!!!!!

This book mentions Bingtown providing slaves to Chalced

It’s so funny to me when people expect Fitz to have social skills as if he didn’t literally live as a fucking wolf for weeks at a time. It’s a miracle he bloody speaks

The state Fitz is in at the beginning of this book was literally Burrich’s greatest fear for him, yet Burrich doesn’t just say I told you so and leave. He stays, is patient and even optimistic.

“He (Burrich) is not bigger than I.” Why does this feel so wrong lol??? I just can’t picture Fitz as bigger than Burrich

“When you were younger and not supposed to go into taverns without me…” So it’s fine if the child goes into taverns and gets drunk as long as you’re also there. Got it, Burrich.

Fitz calling Chade “the grey one” wow get rekd old man river

Seeing Chade and Burrich interact is so bizarre

Fitz is still having seizures at the beginning of this book! I had forgotten that

God okay so idk if I can articulate this point super well but the whole thing of Fitz going through this extensive abuse and then essentially becoming an animal feels like a metaphor for the way your brain’s “higher” needs and functions just shut off sometimes under certain levels of stress. Like in order to cope with the trauma you don’t think about concepts, or long-term goals, or other people. You just take care of your basic needs - food, sleep, shelter, water - long enough that you start to feel safe and secure again, at which point your brain can open up a bit more and allow you to really think again; to want again, to plan again etc. Like obviously literally becoming an animal is a heightened version of reality, but the functionality of it is the same; our wounds and our fear stop us from fully embodying ourselves.

Burrich be like, Fitz was getting way too dependent on drugs before all this so let’s steer clear of those. :) LET’S GET HIM ABSOLUTELY SHITFACED INSTEAD

I love how Fitz has his own unique relationship with Lacey and she’s not just Patience’s servant in his mind

Fitz talking about how even his memories from before his time in the dungeons are soiled by his trauma :( baby boy

Dude it’s so rich Chade lecturing Fitz about not making a life for himself, having friends or just chilling out like???? WHO TRAINED HIM TO BE AN ASSASSIN CHADE?? Like I get your point but what the hell kind of life did you think he was gonna have? Who ever took the time to teach him the importance of making connections with people for their own sake, and when would he have ever had the time anyway? I think Chade himself doesn’t actually know what he expects from Fitz.

Fitz saying he’s bad at making decisions because he’s never actually been allowed to make any is literally a point I’ve made lol. This is what happens when you teach teenagers how to murder in lieu of any basic life skills.

Burrich + Chiv were luv at first sight. No I will not elaborate.

“We kept you a boy, looked after you too much.” Huh??????? Fitz was never fucking sheltered lol. He didn’t have autonomy. There’s a difference.

I’m so fucking glad Fitz hugged Burrich before he left and that they actually left off on okay-ish terms. I didn’t remember that and it vaguely dulls the blow of knowing we don’t see Burrich again til Fool’s Fate (and that he thinks Fitz is dead the entire time between now and then).

“If I shaved my hair back from my brow” bitch disgusting

“Honey was the older of the two women. Perhaps my age.” jskfjnajgbl my guy those aren’t women then those are children!!!!!! U freak

I was wondering for ages why Fitz doesn’t mention the Fool like literally at all bc that’s so unusual right? Even in Assassin’s Apprentice he thinks of him when he goes to Moonseye and just in general the Fool usually enters Fitz’s thoughts pretty frequently. So why now, when Fitz doesn’t even know if the Fool is okay, is he just not thinking about him? And then I realised that that is exactly why. Because the only two people from his old life he doesn’t think about are the two people whose fates he knows nothing of: Kettricken and the Fool. So he can let his mind wander to think what Patience and Lacey might be up to at Buckkeep, or who Molly is with or whatever, because he knows they are all safe. But in such a fragile state I don’t think he can bring himself to really wonder whether Kettricken and the Fool made it to their destination - he probably doesn’t really believe they could have, and that is far too painful a road to go down when you are trying not to think at all.

I know the first act of this book is slow and that bothers some people, but I think it is so necessary, not only for Fitz’s arc but also because it really demonstrates just how severe the situation has gotten with the red ships and forged ones AND it shows just how destructive a king Regal is. Without this perspective it would probably be much harder to buy that the extreme measures taken at the end of the book are really worth the sacrifice.

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit A: when Honey is coming onto him, all he can think about is Molly.

Fitz is so scared of the Forged ones :( his trauma affects everything. He has no faith in himself and less heart for the violence than ever.

Speaking of trauma metaphors: the way Fitz tends to drift off into the wit or Skill after a traumatic experience is… pretty much just dissociation but magique

I forgot that witted folk can apparently communicate with each other mentally, not just with animals

“Her head was the size of a bushel basket.” Ah, yes, a bushel basket, a thing whose size we are all intimately familiar with.

Fitz finally finds others like him and even then he is not fully accepted. Told he is doing the wit wrong. Othered by the Others. It’s the queer experience innit.

Also forgot that apparently the forged are attracted to the wit as well as the Skill?

“I wondered if I had as many wolf mannerisms as they had halk and bear.” Yeah no probably not you only bloody LIVED as a wolf, Fitz.

Okay I know it doesn’t need saying but Patience is just so fucking cool!!!!!

Jesus fucking christ, Fitz skilling out to Molly when he knows Will knows he’s alive and is looking for him is just… so dumb. So so dumb. I know he’s just fixating on her because he’s miserable and she’s like this unsullied thing he had before everything went wrong but holy moly is it frustrating

Not to mention he doesn’t connect the dots between the fact that Burrich went to “help a friend” and every time he reaches out for Molly he sees Burrich sajkdbshkhja dude

Nighteyes leaving just goes to show that Fitz cannot rely solely on Nighteyes for companionship. No matter how innately the same they are they are equally as innately different. Fitz needs Nighteyes but he shouldn’t have JUST Nighteyes (which is why he, Nighteyes and the Fool are the holy trinity). When Nighteyes leaves, Fitz is in way too fragile a state to be left alone, but Nighteyes cannot think of the future or what might happen. All he knows is he’ll be back at some point and that’s all that matters.

“My anger fed my competence” whatever you need to tell yourself sweetie

I think I had blocked out the fact the Regal was keeping animals trapped in filthy cages so they could ravage people in the king’s circle uggggghhhhhhhhh I hate him

Fitz is down on himself saying that without Shrewd’s largesse, Chade’s information and Verity’s protection his idea of himself has been stripped away and that he’s not actually competent etc. but like. This is an extreme situation!! You’re literally alone in the wilderness with nothing and no one!! Who would thrive in this situation? And nobody gets by without help anyway! The people in our lives do define us to an extent. You don’t have to be able to stand 100% on your own at all times with zero resources to be considered capable. It’s human to depend on others. Yes I am chiding myself as much as Fitz here :))))

Burrich’s earring is the repressed gay earring. No I will not elaborate.

Fitz refusing to sell Burrich’s earring is frustrating yet something I would 100% do lol

Direct from my notes: Celery hiding out in caves?? Bad bitch

“I felt I was within the flames looking deeply into the Fool’s eyes” um okay gay

It’s actually surprising that Fitz admits he would not have gone after Molly even if he had known she was pregnant when she left. On one hand so self aware yet this doesn’t stop him from completely idealising their relationship.

And then you have Molly who says he was supposed to come after her “so she could forgive him”, that he was supposed to be the one to light the candles for her childbirth etc. The fact that she in any way thought he was mature enough to be a father just shows how little they really knew each other.

Burrich treating Molly like a horse while delivering Nettle is way funnier than it has a right to be jskakjasd makes me think of Dwight treating Phyllis’ back injury in The Office lol

The first thing Burrich notices about Nettle is that she has Chivalry’s brow are you fucking kidding me. Gay!

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit B: He had no interest in Tassin whatsoever until she literally started kissing him. At this point his body reacted, which is normal, but as soon as he got a second to actually think about it he stopped, because for him it would not be satisfying to sleep with someone he didn’t have feelings for.

“It seemed to take years for the dried beans and lentils to soften.” Okay mood

I love how Fitz just assumes Molly will take him back. “I have a woman and child awaiting me.” Says who bitch?

Small ferret? More like big legend

Ya know, we give Fitz so much shit but honestly with so much physical, mental and emotional stress on this journey how can we expect his mental faculties to be at 100%? I wouldn’t be making good decisions either, in fact I would be long dead.

Starling telling Nik that the earring once belonged to Chivalry is truly a smooth brain move

“Do not fear, little brother, I am here to take care of you again.” Words can’t explain how much I love Nighteyes and how often his dialogue makes me smile :’)

It’s so cute how Nighteyes is worried about Molly and Nettle until he knows that Burrich is taking care of them

It’s really interesting when Fitz claims “I’d rather be with Molly even if it meant rocking a crying baby in the middle of the night” because, well, he’s literally made other claims to the contrary, saying he wouldn’t have gone with her even if he’d known she was pregnant. Because at the end of the day as much as Fitz is compelled by others to do work for the greater good, I think deep down a lot of the time it is what he would do anyway. Like I really don’t think he could actually enjoy being with Molly knowing that the world is burning down around them. He would want to get out there and help somehow; not only to secure their own future but to reduce other people’s suffering as well. He’s an empathetic boy even though he’d like to be selfish.

Every time Fitz calls Molly his wife I lose ten years off my life

Again, I understand why he’s thinking like this, but Fitz’s ownership of Molly is just so uncomfortable. The fact that he can’t imagine her not having a place ready and waiting for him in her life when he returns just illustrates that she is not a fully realised person to him. She is just a comforting idea.

Oh yes, it was definitely Starling’s “pillowtalk” that got you captured and not the fact that you fit the exact description of the witted bastard right down to having Chivalry’s earring and a whole ass wolf

Somehow forgot that Jhaampe is basically a city of tents with only a few permanent buildings and people constantly coming and going

Fitz’s first words to the Fool are “I’ve come to you.” I’m gonna fucking die

Literally every single word from the moment Fitz realises it’s the Fool and starts describing him is a full body assault and personal attack I am seeking reparations

God the tenderness, the angst, the relief……… shall i pass away

“I doubted he was much taller, but his body was no longer a child’s.” My dude this is a gay awakening if I ever saw one

Fitz be like *spends 87 pages describing the Fool in painstaking detail* anyway I love being a heterosexual male

I’ve heard ppl cite Fitz’s descriptions of Kettricken as evidence of a crush (hard disagree) but literally nothingggggg even comes close to the way he describes the Fool. Not just this once but over and over again it’s insane.

“Talk fell off between us. The bottle of brandy was empty. We were reduced to silence, staring at one another drunkenly.” skjakfnajghajgnaLNGJ is it gay to silently gaze into thine homie’s eyes

The Fool protecting Fitz from everyone - especially Starling - in Jhaampe is often hilarious and always heartwarming

Realising Fitz was skinny enough for the Fool to lift on his own ahhh no wonder he said the famous “When I recall how beautiful you were” line, Fitz is a total wreck

I love that the Fool actually gives Chade shit for his plan to take Nettle. I love him.

“Too few folk cared for me. I could not hate a single one of them.” Oh, Fitz :(

I always wonder how the Fool really feels about Molly. Is he jealous? Does he compare himself to this woman Fitz idolises and he doesn’t know? Does he know that Fitz is barking up the wrong tree or is he stuck thinking Molly must really be Fitz’s soulmate since he won’t shut up about how much he loves her and can’t wait to get back to her? He just never really lets on how it makes him feel when Fitz has relationships with women. We know Fitz gets jealous of the Fool (for litch rally like no reason lol), so with the Fool being much more honest with himself/in general about his love for Fitz and having much more legitimate reason to be jealous, is he? Or is it just something he’s made his peace with, that these women give Fitz something that he cannot? Is he okay with that cos he has to be or does he have a different, less monogamous view of love and relationships (he does have three parents after all). I dunnoooo dude I just have so many questions. Like obviously - OBVIOUSLY - if Fitz and the Fool didn’t have romantic feelings for each other before, there is no doubting that romantic feelings appeared the moment Fitz appeared in the Fool’s hut. Fitz won’t admit that but mere chapters later the Fool is talking about how he loves Fitz in every way so like. He knows. So how does he feel when Fitz is calling out for Molly in his sleep, or openly speaking of seeking her out when all this is over, and lying to the Fool to protect Molly and his daughter. Really makes u think!!!!

Fitz reuniting with Sooty and going to see her every day in Jhaampe is so cuuuute and made me so happy. Sooty is a good girl :’)

Fitz be like *leans against the table where the Fool is carving and watches his fingers at work like a true repressed gay*

Verity is literally so strong???? He submerged himself in skill and was able to pull himself back from the stream can u imagine? Go off king!

Bro I literally can’t with the Fool mentioning Jofron so casually and Fitz immediately thinking wow oh my god they’re definitely fucking oh my god the Fool has a girlfriend - Fitz sweetie calm down

I love how Fitz and the Fool just naturally walk together :))) and Nighteyes babysitting Kettle is so cute

Molly never once says that she misses Fitz. She says she always expected him to do the right thing, to come after her and not leave her alone with a child. But she doesn’t look back on their time together fondly or have much positive to say about him as a person. And all that is fair, but it’s also just… Not really the behaviour of someone who’s been separated from their soulmate. It’s more just someone who’s been left in a shitty position by someone they cared about but hardly knew.

Fitz asking the Fool what is between him and Starling when they’re literally just being civil is sooooo fucking funny. Not everyone finds the Fool as irresistible as you do, Fitz.

The Fool just casually finding a pretext to call Fitz the light of his life

Fitz telling Kettricken firmly that he will not travel if the Fool is ill is one of the only times he ever puts his foot down with her GEE I WONDER WHY

I’ve said it before I’ll say it again…… there really do be something about the way Fitz can’t meet the Fool’s eyes………. It’s not like they’re weird and colourless anymore like they used to be!!!

The Fool already talking about Clerres in this book!

Fitz and the Fool and Nighteyes playing in the stream is too fucking pure omg, it’s what they deserve

And then Starling has to bloody ruin it bc she’s homophobique

But seriously, Fitz actually lets go for the first time in ages and has a nice evening only for Starling to go tattling to Kettricken, and Kettricken having the gall to confront Fitz about it. And then Fitz solves the problem by saying he doesn’t disdain her when like!! He has every right to!!!! She sold him out, sold his daughter out. She never even apologised but instead has just been totally petty and self-righteous and stirring up trouble amongst the group. She hasn’t earned or even asked for his forgiveness. So fitting that she’s the one constantly judging Fitz for his relationship with Lord Golden in Tawny Man lol, she just cannot let Fitz and the Fool be the queer icons they are!!!

Verrrrrrrrrrry interesting that Fitz only “suddenly missed the human warmth and comfort” of Starling taking his arm or sleeping against him literally IMMEDIATELY after the plumbing and love confrontation with the Fool. I mean he has been doing all of those things with the Fool (sleeping together, walking arm in arm etc.) so it’s not about human touch at all, it’s about convincing himself that a WOMAN’S touch is somehow inherently different.

He does the same thing with Starling as with Kettricken. She technically apologises but it’s not sincere and that’s not why he forgives her. Same as Kettricken, she tells her sob story and he can’t hold onto his anger. It makes sense, but it’s just very toxic. It would be nice if at least one person would really recognise how much they’ve hurt Fitz and really, genuinely want to atone for it, or apologise without expecting forgiveness. The onus should not be on Fitz to forgive Starling but on Starling to grow up and not need Fitz to like her in order to remain civil and do what they have to. Also “I do not find your wit bond offensive” has the same energy as someone telling you out of nowhere like “It’s fine that you’re gay :)” like wow thank u?? lol

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit C: “I wanted her with a desperation that had nothing to do with love, and even, I believe, little to do with lust.”

“By his love he is betrayed, and his love betrayed also.” So fate agrees with me, Fitz and the Fool are in love? :)

Anytime the potential that Fitz might have to choose between Molly and Nighteyes I lose brain cells. That’s ur brother Fitz!!! It’s not even a choice!! How dare u

It’s just sooooo intentionally laid out for us in this book that Fitz’s relationship with Molly really wasn’t good or healthy and that his fixation on it is misguided, and I think that’s why I struggled sooooo hard with the ending of Fool’s Fate, because it kind of implied the exact opposite. I’m hoping on this reread I will pick up on it being laid out as a result of Fitz getting his memories/teen feelings back rather than it just feeling like a lowkey retcon, but I guess we’ll see lol

“I felt I was a bit in love with him, you know. That sort of lift to the heart.” the confirmation that the Fool KNOWS HOW IT FEELS TO BE IN LOVE sends me deep into the swamps goodbyeeeeeeeeeeee

“The one who loves him best will betray him most foully.” So fate agrees, the Fool loves Fitz best :)

“You do love me! … Before, it was words. I always feared it was born out of pity.” Godddddd Foooooooooool!!!!!!!!!!!

Everything about Fitz, the Fool and Nighteyes meeting in the skill for the first time is just truly perfect iconic unparalleled.

Fitz’s love for Verity hurts my heart so much. Just think of the relationship they could have had if they weren’t stupid royals.

Kettle’s whole speech about Fitz and Molly… Just yes to every word.

Look I’m just gonna say it… The way Burrich reacts to Molly’s advances … like I know it’s probably not intentional but it just reads as very much fitting in with my headcanon that he is gay. As soon as she makes it clear she wants to sleep with him he like leaps across the room lol. I do believe he cares for her and loves her in his way, but it does feel mostly like he’ll just do whatever he needs to to care for her and the baby. Sowwy

I wonder why the Fool wasn’t as affected by his giving up of memories to Girl-on-a-Dragon?? Or was he, and he just gets them back before we see him again in Tawny Man?

“Take my hurt that I never knew my father, take my hours of staring up at his portrait when the great hall was empty and I could do so alone.” um this is so fucking sad

It was the Fool who sent Starling to find Fitz after Verity uses his body and again I have to ask, wtf is going on in your mind, Fool!

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit D: Even once he actually sleeps with Starling he has no enthusiasm about it, he just kind of goes along with it, likely to prove to himself that he has really let go of his past/Molly.

I always wonder why the Fool leaves now. Is it because he thinks their work is done and doesn’t want to risk messing things up by hanging around his catalyst like at the end of Tawny Man? Does he intend to come back and find Fitz again but get sidetracked by a lead or a new dream? Like it’s just weird because at first he was like “Prophet and Catalyst stick together” and was gonna stay with Fitz - or was that just an excuse because he was obsessed with Girl-on-a-Dragon? Fool u spicy lil enigma

It’s blood and the wit that wakes the stone dragons so does that mean King Wisdom was witted? Or is that obvious lol

Fitz isn’t even bothered by the Fool’s kiss, just shocked. I am looking.

Patience shouting orders at Verity-as-Dragon is beautiful ksjjk

Of courrrrrssse Burrich names his first son Chivalry

In the epilogue, the Fool is the only one Fitz actually says he misses. Exquisite.

I know some people have an issue with Regal’s death but personally I find it delicious

Okay that’s all (I say as if this wasn’t 139841989 pages long). See y’all in 92 years when my sister finally starts reading Liveship!

#realm of the elderlings #realm of the quarantine #assassin's quest #long post #fitz and the fool #Fitzchivalry Farseer #rote #ehhh idk what else to tag lol #if u read all this congrats and i'm sorry

30 notes · View notes

sneezyminniejo · 3 years

Note

I would love an Ateez fic with some Jongho whump if you're up for it! It's pretty canon that he doesn't show emotions easily, but maybe he lets down his guard if he's not feeling well. No emeto pls, but fever, snz etc would be great- I love your fics!

Here it is hope you enjoy

Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk

Jongho didn't really like showing his vulnerable side. In part because he's the maknae of his group and did want to seem even "younger". And also because he's crazy strong and can break apples and other fruits in half using his bare hands. It just wouldn't make any sense for someone as physically strong as him to have an obvious vulnerable side.

The only time Jongho gets even remotely vulnerable is when he is sick or injured. Jongho had somehow managed to make it three years without being sick in front of his members. He considered this quite a feat as he and his members are always in each other's space.

Today, however, was a different day. Jongho had woken up feeling absolutely miserable. He was feeling hot and cold, his hurt, and he couldn't really breathe through his nose. Jongho groaned as he looked at his phone. It was only seven in the morning. No one was going to be awake for at least another hour. Knowing he wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep, he decided to move to the kitchen to find some food.

Jongho, not wanting to put any effort into his breakfast, went with some cup ramen. He didn't really care about getting scolded for poor eating choices, but he also knew that if he does get scolded, it wouldn't take much to make him start crying.

The next person to come out of their room was Wooyoung. Wooyoung entered the kitchen and grabbed an apple. He always got a kick out of watching Jongho break an apple in half, and since he was awake he decided to ask.

"Hey Jongie, can you please break this a-” “EH-TIEW, hih-stish.” Wooyoung was abruptly cut off mid sentence by Jongho sneezing a rapid double into his elbow.

“Bless you Jongie. Anyway I was asking if you could please break the apple in half. You can totally have one of the halves if you want.” Jongho sighed, he really wasn’t feeling great, but complied nonetheless. He struggled a little bit and was almost unable to break the apple. He could feel tears beginning to form in his eyes, but quickly blinked them away before going to make tea.

Jongho took his cup of tea into the living room and turned on the tv. Some random children’s show was on. The plot wasn’t anything special. Just a dragon that lost a baby tooth and couldn’t find it, two human children that came from somewhere helping him find his baby tooth. In the end the tooth had been in the boy’s pocket the entire time as he had thought it was a cool rock. By the end of the episode, Jongho was a blubbering, crying mess.

Wooyoung hadn’t seen the entirety of whatever was going on, but did hear Jongho as he became more and more distressed. He decided to get one of his hyungs, even though they’d just be in the process of waking up themselves. Wooyoung knocked on Seonghwa’s door. “Hyung! Jongho is in the living room crying his eyes out. I don’t know what to do.” Seonghwa quickly exited his room, as did many of the other members upon hearing that their maknae was in some kind of distress.

The seven members quickly walked into the living room only to find that Jongho was indeed a crying mess. Seonghwa was quick to go comfort the crying boy by bringing him a box of tissues. “Hey Jongho are you okay?” Seonghwa was hesitant to get too close because he honestly had no clue how the younger preferred to be comforted.

Jongho accepted the tissues and went to blow his nose. Shortly after he started to blow, he felt the all too familiar tickle. He frantically grabbed more tissues and placed the wad against his nose.

“Heh-mphhh, huh-itcshhh, HIh-stiEW!” The others were a tad shocked at the mini fit. Hongjoong was the first to speak. “Bless you. Jongho, what’s got you so worked up?”

Jongho sniffled a bit while still crying. “It’s just that the one dragon l-lost his baby t-tooth and couldn’t find it, and the two children who had never seen dragons be-before helped him find it without any fear.” Hongjoong tentatively sat down next to the maknae and gently began rubbing his back.

“Okay Jongie. It was very sweet of the kids to help the dragon, but are you sure you’re okay. Is there anything you need to get off your chest. Jongho sniffled again and took another tissue to blow his nose. “I just love you guys so much. I’m glad I got to debut with you.” He paused for a moment and pouted. “Can I have a hug?” He asked no one in particular.

Since Seonghwa was on the couch right next to the youngest, he went in for the hug. While he was hugging the younger, he felt the heat coming off his neck. “Jongie, you have a fever. Is that what has you so worked up?” Jongho merely nodded.

Mingi was the next to speak. “It’s not an issue that you’re sick Jongho. It won’t be an issue to get you a day off to get better.” At that moment Yeosang walked in with a glass of water, a thermometer, and some fever reducers. Yeosang placed both the water and the medicine on the coffee table and took Jongho's temp. It read 101.8. Jongho put the medicine in his mouth and swallowed it down with the water. However, he miscalculated placing the water back on the table, causing it to spill all over the floor. This of course caused him to start crying all over again. Yunho went to grab a towel while San went to comfort the younger.

"Hey, it's okay Jongie. It's just a little bit of water. We'll clean it up, as they say in English there's no need to cry over spilled milk. Or I guess in this case water." Everyone chuckled at that, including the sick maknae.

It didn't take much longer for the other seven to figure out that Jongho wasn't upset about being sick, but the fever had made him extremely emotional. So they spent the next couple of days doing what they could to keep his fever as low as possible and reassure and comfort him whenever tears started to bubble up.

While the fever never got above 102, it didn't break for two more days without medication. Hongjoong had made sure to have his schedule cleared for the week as Jongho was in no mental state to go to schedules. Fortunately, the other seven had staggered schedules, so they took turns staying home with the sickie to make sure he wouldn't feel lonely. They knew he was feeling better when he was no longer crying over nothing and began teasing his members back. It was a bit rough, bit now Jongho's hyungs knew what to look out for if they suspected him of being sick.

#sickfic #ateez #sneeze

16 notes · View notes

xiaoguiheyu · 2 years

Text

150. Ha. Yes. I knew it. It wasn't a serious accident. Just commissioner Wang, Chen Man's grandpapa is suspicious of the antidote and wants it examined so that he can rest assured. But obviously xqc and the Meiyu hospital staff can't have more people knowing about rn 13 so Xqc has dinner with Grandpa Chen to assure him that everything will be fine. By the time xqc is done it's 9:00 his date with He yu was supposed to be at 7:30.

Xie Qingcheng checks his phone which had been on silent to see endless missed calls and wechat messages from He yu. He immediately tries to call him back but he yu isn't picking up. Oh no. Did something happen to him?

Oh it took another hour for xqc to reach he yu. And it's raining heavily.

Oh thank god he found He yu! Nothing happened to him. But oh no poor kid's sitting on the steps hugging his knees in the heavy rain. Oh no oh no oh no he's definitely not okay another flare up. Blood on his lips and wrists!! Oh how his eyes lightened up before darkening. Okay he is very upset. He told xqc to go away.

Oh he's definitely mad he wouldn't let xqc take his temperature and told him to go find Chen Man. The reason he didn't answer his phone was because he broke it out of anger when he found out xqc was in meiyu clinic. Oh he's crying! Oh baby is that why you are upset. You think that xqc would like Chen man better because Chen is nicer guy and you are not the only with rn13 connection with xqc. Oh xqc could have called to cancel on him he yu waited for a long time and he'd continue to wait. Oh xie ge reaching out to touch him again but he yu rejecting him again. He yu is really insecure about Chen Man being his rival because Chen dage died for xqc's parents case while he had nothing to offer to xqc. Oh no he thinks that xqc here is actually his illusion. No he yu no he's real. Omg it's he Yu's birthday!! Well the day before his birthday. That's why he asked xqc on date because he wanted to spend it with xqc. Poor puppydragon 😭

Oh no the xie xue hallucination on his birthday it was also raining so he thinks that xqc is also an illusion!! Xie Ge please hug and assure him that it's not 😭 meatbun using this as a knife is so genius.

I'm crying pls. Everyone has someone. Only He Yu doesn't have anyone. The way he yu said that he might look empty but it hurts inside him too. I'm sobbing here. He was actually lonely to death.

Xqc didn't understand why he yu was so upset about his relationship with Chen Man because to xqc Chen Man was like kid brother.

But who was he yu to him?

He was irreplaceable!! Omg xie ge if you think like that about He yu than why can't you realise that he's your soulmate.

The person closest to him. The person who knows him the most! Yes basically your soulmate!!!

Oh xie ge! This special person is a soulmate. This cannot be replaced by anyone line's got me like xie ge with all due respect you are a clown!!!

AAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT !!! IT REALLY HAPPENED XIE QINGCHENG HUGGED HIM FIRST!!! XIE GE TOOK THE INITIATIVE TO HUG HIM!!! IT JUST HAPPENED PEOPLE!! I bet xie qingcheng didn't do this for anyone other than xie xue.

Oh no he's consoling the baby dragon that it's real! And he's not a hallucination ! Gosh my heart! Awww xie ge is apologising to him that he doesn't remember he Yu's birthday. Xqc hugged him really tightly and wishing him happy birthday but he yu still thinks things it's a hallucination because xqc would never hug him first! This is honestly such a big step for xie qingcheng. Him being affectionate and making the first move and him doing this for He Yu. This shows how the ice cube has melted and He Yu has melted him. This is so great, so much progress. Even if Xie Qingcheng felt like he had to comfort someone, he would not have hugged someone and coaxed someone like this with sorrys and happy birthdays. He probably wouldn't have even cared much for coming late or forgetting someone's birthday but it's He Yu so it's different. Whether Xie Qingcheng will ever admit it or not, He Yu was a very important turning point in his life. He gave up his research and made up his mind to be a psychologist because he wanted to help He Yu's mental ebola. And in the past few months He Yu's affection for him has changed a lot between them. He Yu has touched him in ways and broken his ice, shell and armour like no one ever has. I seriously never could have imagined Xie Qingcheng coaxing He Yu like this, Xie Qingcheng never even coaxed younger He Yu like this, he's changed so much.

Oh He yu stopped caring if it was an illusion! And he hugged xqc back till the bracelet showed that his flare up disappeared. And he pulled xqc to the parking of the theatre!!

Okay so a very emotional chapter. But we know he yu is a gemini and he is getting xqc's cakes as his birthday gift! Bad joke 🤣

#bing an ben #case file compendium #xie qingcheng #he yu #hexie

4 notes · View notes

akitchen · 4 years

Text

We don't always get what we want -- when it comes to many things, we usually don't get what we want. But that fact shouldn't stop us from dreaming. Dreams lead to ambition and aspirations, after all. My dream of the future is queer, and inspired by things many already have and take for granted.

I am confident in my own skin, and I adore who I am, as well as the effort it took to be able to say that honestly, but in the future, I want to be able to be percieved as me. I am transgender, and I want to be seen as the gender-nonconforming man I am, meaning I hope my future holds transition for me. I hope even after transition, my presentation lets queer folks like myself know that they're safe with me -- especially those younger than me.

I want to live somewhere more urban, but spacious enough to welcome guests. I want a house that is a place of safety and warmth and unconditional love -- I want a real, true home. The living room would be lively and comfortable and the kitchen would have room to cook and bake. My room, no longer the only comfortable place, would still be incredibly cozy: my bed would be piled high with stuffed animals and warm blankets, I would have a desk to work at, and there'd be only things that made me happy -- like pictures of me with friends, my favorite books, clown dolls, and posters from my favorite media.

My home would be a beacon of unconditional acceptance for my real family -- my friends. Those who need to live with me could, and those who don't would be welcome to visit no matter what. I would keep them safe and make them feel truly loved. We would have tea parties and picnics on Sundays, and those who want to would play Dungeons and Dragons with me sould do so on Thursdays. We would still have birthday parties even though we're adults, and we'd have homemade cards. There would be open communication, real trust, healthy boundaries, and no poor judgement.

My spouse would be kind. He would be soft spoken and smart, and he would be patient and understanding. He'd be the kind of person that could talk for hours about his interest and sit listening when I do the same. We would listen to podcasts together, and take care of each other on bad days. He would long hair I would help brush through, and he'd be observant. I don't want him to need to be, though, I want us to be able to communicate with each other openly and honestly. We would be healthy, and arguments would be settled before bed; we would always apologize if we got heated. He'd maybe be in the soft sciences, and someone curious and passionate about human nature. He'd love his work and tell me all about it.

As for my work, I'm not the sort with any specific career ambitions. A job that is safe and provides well is enough for me; I would ideally have time to support the community, as well. I dream of one day opening, or aiding with the upkeep of, a community food garden. I believe keeping the public fed should is one of the most important things. A community garden would aid in that, as well as serve as an opportunity to teach children about nature and plants -- all while doing another thing I love, gardening! I really just want to help people, honestly; I'd likely do a lot of volunteer work, so long as I had the time. I would like a job related to that if I could.

===

dis iz an informal essay i wrote 4 english class dat a few friens wanted w see. dreaming abt da future can b rlly relaxing n fun, but iz an important part of my outlook on life 2 not get too caught up n it. if ur dreaming of da future iz interfering wif ur ability 2 find beauty n joy n da present, den pls take a step back. da present iz infinitely gorgeous, pls don 4get 2 wuv it, or when u get 2 da future, u won b paying attention 2 it either.

okie bai, ur wonderful!!!! 💞💞💞💞💞💞

#note: i did simplify my gender 2 trans man even doh im closer 2 da gen term gq das jus bc School #also da spouse iz totally kiyo AVBDFGHJKDLDJSJS being a self shipper when ur asked 2 describe ur ideal spouse iz jus like 😳😳👉 him #ALSO i feel so bad when i talk abt wanting 2 do community stuff bc i always feel like it comes across as 'holier dan thou' i PROMMY das not #wha i mean TOTOT i jus rlly care abt ppl n das da way i show it!!!!!!!!!! if u don wana/cant volunteer DAS PERFECTLY OKIE #n ur not ne less dan!! w/e u CAN do iz still entirely helpful prommy 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞#pff neway #text #musings #rn

6 notes · View notes

cottoncandydreamsxoxo · 4 years

Text

A shoulder to cry on.

This is my first fanfic so be gentle, I tried to do a fluffy one so sorry if it’s not that wholesome. :( this is based on the best au ever! by @shinyzango ‘s 2d bendy au. I got inspired to make a fanfic ever since reading the 2d au fanfics of the name @pooka-dragon and the art of @squigglydigg , made me love how creative 2d bendy can be!

——————————————————————

Henry breathed in the ink incarnated air of the studio, his clothes covered with black and soulless ink after all the encounters with there foes, a calm look on his face, which was a first, waiting for the next thing to set them off there course. He looked somewhat in war with his emotions. He dint know what to feel, he dint have the time to figure out what was truly going down, the searchers, sammy...he despised His own worry the most, making him do stupid things for the cute little demon bendy. Stuck in a page with no known ways of getting out, a cartoon with pointy horns and his body bold black.

Henry would lay bendy on one of the studios inky shelves upright so he can talk with him if he needed to. Henry would not ask the demon any more questions and would look around for anything useful. “Today seems diffrent dosent it?” Bendy would reply, “change is bad..” as bendy thought of what worse could be coming, Henry would look at him and sigh. “I know you’re sick of the fighting, don’t make it give you the blues. It will end one day i promise you.” Henry was a kind man, ashamed of the bad times but looked upon them as a somewhat chance for change. He looked at bendy, who looked overly sad. Henry would stop and go over “what’s with the long face bud?” Bendy would try and calm down slightly before awnsering, his voice matching his lead face “difference in this place is NEVER okay! I’m scared if you getting hurt, what will I do if you die.” Henry looked at him with a sad yet but understanding expression “live on for me.” Bendy was suprised and spechless at this reply and looked at henry, Henry would sadly smile back.

All his mind was filled about cheering his little freind up. Not noticing anything behind him. suddenly Henry noticed bendys mortified expression. “What’s up bud?” Henry would point behind Henry for when Henry would notice it was too late anway. It was a searcher, not just one but the biggest numbers you’ve ever seen. heard a “HENRY!” And was knocked unconscious, the last sounds he heard was someone tearing up. That’s what they were doing they were repopulating, Henry was on the floor, some searchers looming over him. “HENRY! Please wake up, WAKE UP!” The searchers looked violent and were probably about to hurt Henry. Bendy was crying at this point, sick of seeing his freind get hurt. Bendy could do barley nothing, though there was hope. “”We need you Henry...I need you Henry.” There was no chance he was waking up from his voice any day.

The searchers looked ready with there outright hideous and evil extior Accidentally a searcher had knocked bendy off the shelf and made the page float down to an ink puddle, bendy immediately shapeshifted into his monster form. Out of his page and somewhat In reality. He grabbed Henry, his large, beast like, cold and inky hands were not enough to wake henry. He was out cold. Bendy risked his life by quickly getting off the page, luckily there was a side room he could protect Henry in until he woke up, he saw it on his right. He immediately dashed inside and held Henry gently so he dint hurt him, meanwhile... Henry was stuck in a dream with no known way to get Out. The lovely demon would comfort him.

Henry was dreaming about the studio, the place of nightmares. The place he so foolishly decided to get a job at. he would be in a world of his own. black, dark and hell-like place. He would be strapped into a chair, tight rope concealed him from getting a anywhere. There stand joey, in his view range standing up and looking at him with that sick twisted grin of his that always sended shivers down Henry’s spine even in the old days. “What do you want!” Henry asked him intimidatingly. Joey would just laugh as a reply which made Henry confused as he began to go closer to Henry, his voice had a devious tone. “Why you know what I want old freind! Don’t be blind! I want my company to overthrow and rule this earth. I want this plain ol’ studio to eco me the place of big sales and success, so big you won’t be able to hold it in youre pockets!” Henry would look at him angerily as he approached even further “YOU SICK PHY-“ Henry got stopped as jeoy forcefully banged henrys head against the wall behind him. “Let’s act like civil men, shall we?” Henry looked at joey even more angrily than ever as he stared the man down.

“What do you want from me?” Henry asked with a growl. Joey would just look him with his lying eyes, “I want you.” “IM NOT FOR YOURE PL-“ Henry got slapped by joey quickly and strongly. “You dint remember what I said, do you?” Henry looked at him with searing rage. “Me, you, join together and work for the master plan, what I’ve created. You will never think the same way about this studio again...” he got a little freaked out but kept his cool, “mad-man.” Henry muttered under his breath. “What do you think makes it the so bold and brave you’re Caling it?” Henry asked with a little bit of a growl. “I’m planning to make this the most empowering, popular, skyrocketing and superior animation studios in all of earth’s entirety. I want to force them to praise our little demon darling and watch other false creators crumble under our feet!” Henry got startled by this, “I know you like amazing for perfection but don’t you think we’re going to far?” His eyes and voice shaked. “Oh no my old freind, I think we’re going for achieving to little. By the time this is done I want the, to worship him and would even give there life and soul for him!” He watched as joeys laugh was the only sound I’m the room, he was to spechless and shaky to say anything. “I want them to empower the name Joey Dre-“ Henry broke. “YOU SICK PERSON. I WILL NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN! NEVER! IF I WAS UNTIED I WOULD PUNCH YOU!” Joey just laughed it off. “We both don’t want that, do we?”

He was suspicious about looking more into his plans, he would try and get it out of Joey so he could immediately stopped it. He would stop trying to get that out and stares at the anonymous inky blob that looked unnaturally familiar behind 1 foot behind Joey, black and ominous. Henry eyes locked scared. “W-w-who is that?” He was scared it was his little bud. “Just a freind who was...misled..” the inky blob turned around and it was the dereded truth. “B-b-bud...” “LET HIM GO! WHAT HAS HE DONE TO YOU!” He would try and become untied so bad struggling and shaking. Bendy looked traumatised and petrifired. “Please...please...let him go...poor bud.” He was now tearing up and shaking trying to escape, “please...I’ll do anything just please let him go...safe...in one peice, okay?” “I don’t think that can happen.”

Joey would hurt bendy, which made her cry and shiver in reality silently reapeating no with a scared looking face. Expericing trsumstic Images infornt of his eyes, he was shaking imcerdiblg fast. He cried silently but a lot, his face was slightly scared but mostly emotionless,men dy knew something was wrong...Which made bendy worried, worried for his little freind and what was making him so startled. He would be confused of the silent mutterignncomign from Henry, the muttering made him even more worried. bendy would gently try and wake Henry up from this scarring nightmare. Hoping he would be okay after it, wanting his freind to be happy. The searchers were close but weklojgs since of there ink insides so they couldn’t hurt bendy but they could hurt Henry and possibly do worse. bendy gently would put him in a cradle position as he wanted to comfort his freind until he woke up, he would be very gentle as he knew Henry was fragile and easy to hurt.

He cares for his pal ever since he first met him and dint want anything to helped to the poor guy. He nuzzled him, tirelessly with no hesitation hoping it would save him from his nightmare, Bendy prayed with all his heart that it would be able to free the poor fella. Henry tiredly woke up as it was to cold to be asleep at this time, his eye lids gently opened to see bendy I’m his monster form, not on his page nuzzling him vigorously. He whimpered as well at Henry, hoping he wasn’t stressed out of negative feeling. After that experience. Henry noticed this and would gently pet his head which made him extraordinarily happy, he had ended up making to sho away the searchers while Henry was passed out. “I’m okay bud, I’m alright. Please don’t worry. I must’ve passed out or something.” said Henry as he would sit up. They would be happy and postitive I’ve there were both safe unhurt, henry sighed with relief as he looked at his bud with that smile of his bendy always used to do.

Henry would look up at bendy. With a faint smile and a slight snigger he said “It’s getting late bud, you better go to sleep.” Bendy looked at him sternly as he used to stay up all the time, 24/7, doing something else beside sleeping. Exposing the slight bags under his eyes that never went away. He always would always overwork himself and never sleep, bendy knew how important is was for humans like Henry to sleep. He wanted him to take a breather from all his heavy all nighters and stop punching himself to the limit. He would do make sure Henry slept today, no matter what. “Fine, I’ll got to sleep with you bud, but all you had to do is ask.” He would watch Henry, making sure he did what he said. He went to sleep within five minutes, with that bendy wa happy. His old man was finally sleeping again. Bendy would shut his inky eyes and sleep with the Henry, ending there adventures for that day...

—————————————————

Yes! It’s finally done!

Sorry, it took me several days to compelte but it was worth it! My first fanfic ever! Hope you like it.

#fanfic #fanficton #bendy #beast bendy #batim au #BATIM #2dbendyau #firstfanfic #henrystein #henry #henryBATIM #fluffyfanfic #wholesome #literate

8 notes · View notes

inferno-principe · 4 years

Note

Asmodeus and Soris

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

How long will they last? - Probably not more than a few years at best

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Lol what love

How was their first kiss? - Consisted of Assmo manipulating Soris, so :’D

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Asmodeus

Who is the best man/men? - Asbeel, would’ve been Tamiel but someone can’t learn to keep his hands to himself

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Probably Kaelon tbh

Who did the most planning? - Mostly Assmo, but with Soris’ input

Who stressed the most? - Soris definitely

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Abel, Tamiel, Sathanus, and Sabahl

Sex:

Who is on top? - Always Assmo

Who is the one to instigate things? -......Usually Assmo :’D

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - It depends. Assmo can go for a while

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - If Asmodeus is feeling nice

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Hopefully one son. But more if he keeps having daughters

How many children will they adopt? - Absolutely none

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Soris of course, but probably Kaelon or Minerva

Who is the stricter parent? - Asmodeus

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? -....Kaelon

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Soris

Who is the more loved parent? - SORIS

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?- Again, Soris :’D

Who cried the most at graduation? - Soris, probably because he was the only one there

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Soris

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Soris, but let’s be real, it’s Kaelon

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Assmo

Who does the grocery shopping? - Kaelon XD

How often do they bake desserts? - Assmo knows shit about a kitchen, so Soris I guess

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? -...I can make a joke here but I’m not going to :’D

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Asmodeus

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Asmodeus

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - I’d say Assmo but he’d never cook

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Soris tries but Assmo has Lisette or Jian do so instead

Who is really against chores? - Asmodeus. They are kings, they don’t do chores

Who cleans up after the pets? - Asmodeus occasionally, but dragon care tends to go to the husbandry staff and Shoshana

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Assmo

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Poor Soris

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Hopefully Soris!

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Assmo

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Assmo takes Hashmedai

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - They don’t but the servants might decorate tastefully

What are their goals for the relationship? - To not cause an international incident this time. And probably to produce another heir

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Neither, I don’t think

Who plays the most pranks? - I don’t think either would. Their relationship is rather no-nonsense

1 note · View note

tinywho-man · 5 years

Text

Once More

an Akatsuki no Yona fan fiction

Pairing: Zeno x Kaya / Reincarnated!Kaya (and some platonic Zeno x Yun as well)

Word Count:2,570 words

Short prompt: As the happy hungry bunch walks around in a shopping district, Zeno meets Kaya’s reincarnation as a seller of jewelries.

(Uhhh, this is the first time that I’ve written a fanfic so pls have mercy on me and don’t expect much lmao)

/////

After a week of nothing but fighting people who endangers the fate of Kouka, the happy hungry bunch collectively agreed to treat themselves in the nearby shopping district. And by treating themselves, they mean looking around for sightseeing because reality isn’t kind enough to let them enjoy the expensive stuffs.

“Listen. Avoid getting too much attention to yourselves and causing too much ruckus, okay?” Yun attempted to tell them off and although he heard nothing but responses of agreement, he knew that it will be impossible for them not to attract attention anyway.

Everyone missed the lighthearted atmosphere and the sound of people laughing and merrily walking around rather than hearing the slices of the soldiers’ weapon, the agonizing screams of the enemies that they defeated, and the aggressive battle cries of both sides. It was a refreshing scenario and a beautiful moment for them to breathe.

All of them gleefully scanned the area until Zeno stopped walking in his tracks when he noticed the familiar brown locks and hazelnut orbs selling luxurious jewelries with gems shining as brilliantly as the eyes of the sellers. His felt that his chest tightened all of sudden.

‘K-Kaya?’ He hitched his breath as he stared at the seller with widened and surprised eyes. His feet froze on the spot as he felt his heart throbbing so loudly to the point that it’s the only thing that he can hear despite the surroundings being a thousand times louder. He clenched his tightening chest with his palms that are sweating thoroughly. Am I hallucinating? It’s been several years since I last saw her in my illusions. She can’t be Kaya’s reincarnation! They look so much alike that they can’t-

His trail of thoughts were cut off when he felt a tap on his shoulder. With his eyes still trembling, he looked at the hand on his shoulder only to find out that it was Yun. After all, it wasn’t hard for his friends to notice his strange behavior. “Zeno? What’s the matter?” Yona asked as she shifted her eyes to the person who was being stared by the yellow dragon. The female with brown locks who is allegedly Kaya’s reincarnation was talking to one of the customers, probably doing the sales talk. As her mouth moves, the golden haired man can definitely hear her cheerful voice from his imagination and he can infer that the way she moves definitely screams his deceased wife.

Yun gently gripped Zeno’s shoulder which made it easier for him to collect his thoughts and calm down. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, taking a while to find the comfort from the six worried people that surrounds him. His heart finally beats into a slower pace as he calmed down and opened his eyes to look at her properly. His expression softened as he can see a quite more energetic version of his wife.

“Want to check it out? We can only look at it though, since we have no money,” Yun mumbled the last part as he mentally sweat dropped over them being broke. Zeno simply shook his head and went back to his usual glee, “No need. I was just amazed at the jewelries,” he spoke as he fakes being fine just like how he faked it for the past several years.

Of course, none of them believed him but they have no other choice but to pretend to do so since the eternally 17 year-old will keep brushing it off. With Shin-ah especially sensing the uneasiness of the usually cheerful dragon, he did not hesitate to put Ao at Zeno’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. Zeno pretended not to notice as he continues to collect himself.

Soon, he was distracted by several attractions such as funny costumes, unbelievable fortune-tellers, and amusing entertainers. The group mentally sighed in relief as the situation a while ago was their first time seeing Zeno in such an unstable state. They didn’t know if they were going around in circles, but they just walked along to the shops that attracts their interest the most just to distract their yellow happy pill. Though they were sure that he was not completely okay, they wanted to check on him later before they sleep at night in an attempt to console him.

After a while, the whole group heard Yun as he delightfully gleamed. “You can go ahead guys, I’m going to check these out,” the youngest boy said without lifting his eyes away from the products that peaked his interest which made his eyes sparkle at the sight. “Are you sure? We can wait, you know.” Jae-ha said, not wanting to leave anyone behind just for safety measures. Zeno chuckled at the overly worried man. “I’m going to accompany him. He might take a while if he wanted us to go ahead,” he remarked.

“If Zeno is there, I guess we don’t have to worry,” Kija muttered, though he knows that Zeno is still faltering quite a bit. Yona nodded, “We’re going to wait at the huge mango tree, okay?” She said. She thought that it will work out somehow with Yun calming down Zeno if he freezes again and Zeno protecting Yun without a second thought. “If you guys are still not there by the sunset, we’re going to cause a huge ruckus to search for you,” Hak added with an indifferent expression. Zeno laughed at himself because the possibility is really there. “Okay, see you later.”

Zeno hurried towards Yun as he sat beside him, “What got you so interested, kid?”

"Ah, look at these,“ Yun pointed towards a set of blueish flowers. Zeno tilted his head, "What are these?”

“Smeraldo flowers. I read from a book that these are imaginary flowers and apparently, there are rumors that once you get your hands on these flowers, its petals can cure whatever disease a person can have,” Yun explained.

A voice belonging to a seemingly old female hummed. “You are well-informed. Just add a single petal of this flower, a person will be very healthy and they will get rid of whatever illness or disease they may have. It’s a medicinal herb for incurable diseases, you know?” The grandmother who sells the smeraldo flowers spoke.

'Incurable diseases…’ Zeno frowned at the nostalgic phrase which he hated the most. “How much is this, miss?” Yun asked with the greatest puppy eyes that he could ever give in hopes of a big discount.

"Oh my, being addressed as a 'miss’ by a fair young man is really flattering. It’s 1500 rin, but for you, I will sell it for 1000 rin,“ she offered. With his shoulder growing heavy, and his head hanging down a little, it was obvious that Yun’s mood dropped after hearing the price. Sure, it was a big discount but he doesn’t even have half the money that he needs for the purchase.

"R-Right. It’s a rare flower, after all,” he nervously laughed. Zeno read the atmosphere as he quickly thinks of a way to get out this awkward situation. “Hey, kid! It looks like Hakuryuu is getting into a fight!” Zeno quickly points particularly nowhere. “What?! That troublesome guy, I swear!” The two man scrambled as they ran away from the shop.

When they were sure that they are not seen anymore, they finally halted. “Thanks, Zeno. I really wanted to buy it for you guys in case I won’t be capable enough to treat you anymore,” Yun frowned as he crossed his arms in disappointment. Zeno patted the head of their young healer. “Don’t worry. As long as I’m here, I’ll protect everyone,” he assured the kid. Yun shook his head, “I don’t want you to be severely injured anymore,” Yun’s shoulder grew heavier. Zen sighed fondly at the youngest.

“Say, Zeno,” Yun called the attention of the older male. “If you feel like you’re falling apart, I hope you remember that you are not alone anymore, okay?” he trailed off as he went ahead because he couldn’t bear the embarrassment, but he’d rather be embarrassed that let his friend drown in misery.

Zeno found the kid adorable as he watched Yun walking away with obviously flushed cheeks until Yun halted when he noticed a bracelet with seven differently colored gems– red, black, white, blue, green, yellow, and peachy orange. He wasn’t familiar with the names of precious stones but he can definitely see his family with that bracelet.

Without the two of them noticing the seller, Zeno hummed in amazement. “I like the yellow stone!” He enthusiastically claimed. “Good eye, mister! It resembles you perfectly,” the seller commented.

“Hm?” Zeno looked at the seller and almost dropped the item as he was surprised once again at the ever-so-familiar woman in front of her. Her smile was so nostalgic that Zeno reminisced his marriage life for a second. The memory of them having fun with each other’s company despite both of them not knowing when will the other meet her demise was a bittersweet one that he can’t help but bite his lip to stop his own tears. Seeing her up close gave her another pang of sadness hitting into his heart but as he glanced into the bracelet that gives him a different kind of happiness and comfort, he holds it tightly as he fights against the battle going on in his head.

He studied her features carefully. The short haired Kaya with unpresentable and simple clothes is now someone who has her hair reaching her hips and her clothes looking more colorful and elegant that goes well with her healthy body built. With the way she presents herself right now, she will never be thought of someone who is poor and sick. Although her hair length and clothing style is entirely different from Kaya, it would be safe to say that she indeed bears the soul of someone whom he loved the most but quickly passed away decades ago. He wanted to jump onto her and embrace her but he knows deep in his heart that this was not Kaya herself.

Or was she?

Of course, this is not literally Kaya herself but Zeno can’t help but question fate as to why he needed to see this person with a huge resemblance to his loved one, out of all people that he could have met. Perhaps, he already met his wife’s reincarnation countless times without him realizing it. Were they bounded to meet again and again regardless of what kind of person Kaya will be? Was Kaya impatient into meeting Zeno again? Did she found out that Zeno will never be able to meet her in the heavens so she went to the earth once again just to meet him?

He didn’t know, but one thing is for sure and that is the fact that destiny is playing with his heart and he didn’t know if he would like it or not.

Regardless, Zeno can’t help but curl his lips upward. He decided to just enjoy the moment and play along with fate “Maybe it resembles me because of my hair,” he scratched his head, trying to act as normally as possible. “I wouldn’t say that. That stone is a symbol of the sun and you surely give me a warm vibe,” she said honestly and without the hint of being flirty at all. Without the lady realizing it, it was her who was actually giving Zeno a warm vibe. He playfully grinned this time, “Well, a lot of people say that.”

As if to remind the two of them that there is another person, Yun cleared his throat and asked, “Aren’t these jewelries too expensive to be sold in a place like this?”

The young lady giggled. “Actually, my father is a stone cutter and these are the remnants or the edges that was cut. You could say that these are "rejects” but it would still be a waste not to sell it,“ she answered.

Yun nodded but he wondered if it was actually legal to do this. However, he shrugged it off because it won’t be surprising if the stones turned out to be completely fake. Perhaps the smeraldo that was being sold to them a while ago is also fake but they’ll never know. Zeno, on the other hand, was glad that the reborn Kaya does not need to spend her life in isolation anymore. Hearing her talking about her father gave him a sense of relief. "Your family seems well-off if he is a stone cutter,” Zeno said. The brown haired lady just laughed it off, “We’re not as well off as you think. But I’m thankful that my father is a great financial provider,” she said.

’At least you do not have to live by yourself while being unhealthy,’ Zeno thought as he also examined her body without perverted thoughts. She wasn’t as thin and pale as before and there was nothing more that could make Zeno happier.

The lady noticed the small piece of golden plate dangling by his head. As she takes a closer look, she knew that it was a pendant but she didn’t want to pry; maybe it was his own style. What took her interest though was the material of the necklace itself. “That chain also looks expensive and carefully carved! May I take a look at it?” Zeno was surprised at her comment that his widened eyes looked like eyes of suspicion.

“Ah, don’t worry, I’m not a thief. You don’t have to let me take a look if you don’t want to,” she reassured which made Zeno remember the first time he talked to Kaya where she also defended herself when she kept the necklace for him.

“It’s okay, I was just surprised. Here,” he said as he took it off and gave it to her with trust. He thought of it as a sort of payback for that night. “It’s really pretty and it seems like it was made just for you,” she commented. “Thank you, miss seller." Yun didn’t want to ruin the moment but he was thinking that their friends might be worried if they wouldn’t go to meet them. As much as Zeno wanted to talk to her, he also doesn’t want them to be worried and cause a ruckus while finding them. With that, they had bid her goodbye to which the lady gave them her farewell also.

"Sorry if we weren’t able to buy anything,” Yun said. She simply shook her head. “No need to be sorry. You were fun to talk to,” she reassured as she looked at Zeno with a genuine smile that Zeno missed so much seeing.

“I hope we’ll get to see each other again, mister sun,” she looked at her with hopeful eyes that glistened as the sun gets dimmer. It reminded him of how Kaya used to look at him with her loving eyes that never had an intention of doing anything bad to him but rather, it was the eyes of someone who gave him nothing but pure happiness and gentle affection.

With no panicking and breaking down this time, Zeno gave her a smile with deep and complex feelings that not even he himself could decipher, “If we’ve been destined to meet again and again regardless of the time and place, surely we will see each other once more."

#lol i think this is more of a headcanon but whatever #this is unedited so feel free to let me know what u think #akatsuki no yona #akayona #zeno #kaya #yun #yoon #zeno meets the reincarnated kaya #yona #hak #kija #jae-ha #shin-ah #idk if this is fluff but #fluff #how to prompt 101

13 notes · View notes

kittywolves · 5 years

Note

1-200 if you want lmao If not then just your favourites

200: My crush’s name is: don’t have one tbh, not romantically anyway

199: I was born in: west virginia, 2000

198: I am really: dumb

197: My cellphone company is: idk man

196: My eye color is: blue w/yellow bursts but they just appear green if you’re not super close

195: My shoe size is: 7+1/2-8

194: My ring size is: 7+1/2-8

193: My height is: 5′5″

192: I am allergic to: sesame :T

191: My 1st car was: N/A

190: My 1st job was: N/A

189: Last book you read: uh, Percy Jackson? i think

188: My bed is: warm, cozy, full of plushies & cat fur

187: My pet: CALCIFER!!!

186: My best friend: uh,, i don’t have one?

185: My favorite shampoo is: idk fruity scents that aren’t watermelon

184: Xbox or ps3: PS3

183: Piggy banks are: cute or terrifying, no in-between

182: In my pockets: my phone

181: On my calendar: birthdays

180: Marriage is: cute

179: Spongebob can: CAN SPONGEBOB FINALLY END PLEASE

178: My mom: can go die

177: The last three songs I bought were? uhh, i haven’t bought any songs,,

176: Last YouTube video watched: DrawingWiffWaffles newest video

175: How many cousins do you have? 1

174: Do you have any siblings? yes, 2 alive 1 dead

173: Are your parents divorced? no,,

172: Are you taller than your mom? around the same height

171: Do you play an instrument? no, but i wish i could play the harp tbh

170: What did you do yesterday? uh, i went shopping with my mother and then watched Futurama

[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: ? i dunno anymore

168: Luck: i guess so, yea

167: Fate: yea

166: Yourself: no

165: Aliens: YES

164: Heaven: yea

163: Hell: yea

162: God: ? yea?

161: Horoscopes: not really

160: Soul mates: YESSSSS

159: Ghosts: yep!!

158: Gay Marriage: %100

157: War: no >:(

156: Orbs: what

155: Magic: yep!!

[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs pls

153: Drunk or High: never been either, both sound fun

152: Phone or Online: usually use my phone tbh

151: Red heads or Black haired: all are adorable!!

150: Blondes or Brunettes: a d o r a b l e ! !

149: Hot or cold: uhm, comfortable warm,,

148: Summer or winter: SUMMER

147: Autumn or Spring: HALLOWEEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

146: Chocolate or vanilla: CHOCOLATE

145: Night or Day: NIGHTTIME

144: Oranges or Apples: apples

143: Curly or Straight hair: both are great!! i have slightly wavy hair uwu

142: McDonalds or Burger King: neither >:(

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: MILK PLS

140: Mac or PC: um, idc

139: Flip flops or high heels: F L I P F L O P S

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: SWEET AND POOR PLS GIVE ME A KIND BAB TO LOVE @ UNIVERSE

137: Coke or Pepsi: coke !!

136: Hillary or Obama: obama!!

135: Buried or cremated: cremated so i can’t come back :’)

134: Singing or Dancing: i can’t do either :(

133: Coach or Chanel: ugh, coach ig

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who or who

131: Small town or Big city: i live in a city, but a town sounds nice tbh

130: Wal-Mart or Target: TARGET

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: what

128: Manicure or Pedicure: PEDICURE PEDICURE PEDICURE

127: East Coast or West Coast: i live on the west, so west

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: MY BIRTHDAY BC I GET TO PICK THE THEME !!!

125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers die and give off the aesthetic but chocolates are delicious so both

124: Disney or Six Flags: i love disneyland it’s just SO EXPENSIVE and six flags is gr8 for the thrills, plus i currently have a pass so

123: Yankees or Red Sox: who? which sport is this[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: blehhhh no

121: George Bush: idk american presidents lmao

120: Gay Marriage: YES YES YES YES YES YES

119: The presidential election: ew

118: Abortion: i’ll allow it lmao, i don’t think it’s great, but ik people will still get it whether it’s legal or not so might as well legalize it. also some cases actually need it so like,, yea!! let it happen!! pro-choice!!

117: MySpace: never used it lmao

116: Reality TV: ew ew ew ew EXCEPT FOR COOKING SHOWS

115: Parents: mine or just in general? bc eh

114: Back stabbers: M U R D E R T H E M 113: Ebay: lmao shipping expenses

112: Facebook: haven’t used it in years, do use messenger tho

111: Work: i like wedding coordinating with my aunt!! that’s about all the work i’ve done, oh and i’ve babysat

110: My Neighbors: don’t know em, they probably think we’re crazy tho, always yelling

109: Gas Prices: too!! high!!

108: Designer Clothes: eh, clothes are clothes, and some clothes are ugly (a lot of times it’s designer clothes blehh)

107: College: i mean i guess

106: Sports: go team! hit the ball! score the points! woo

105: My family: dysfunctional,,

104: The future: nooooooooooooooooooo

[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: uhhhhh....

102: Last time you ate: uhm, around 4?? maybe?? it’s 7 now

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: uh?? i never see anyone OH i guess on wednesday last week,,

100: Cried in front of someone: ???? idk??? i cry while everyone’s asleep usually

99: Went to a movie theater: last week !! um, thursday?

98: Took a vacation: uhh, february, early march? i went to ohio

97: Swam in a pool: uh, last monday

96: Changed a diaper: um, not this year lmao, maybe last year tho idk

95: Got my nails done: ???? i dunno

94: Went to a wedding: last november?? or wait no,, uhm i dunno sometime recently lmao

93: Broke a bone: never! did drop one in water tho :/

92: Got a piercing: december!

91: Broke the law: ?? i don’t wear seatbelts when i sit in the back seat lmao

90: Texted: around two hours ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: um,, my friends

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: MY KITTY BABY

87: The last movie I saw: missing link! the stop motion- i’m a wh*re for animation lmao

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: changing my name, moving out, getting married & having a stable life :’)

85: The thing im not looking forward to: being stuck here forever and eventually kmsing due to stress and depression :’)

84: People call me: Kitty!! Kiki!! (birth name) karebear!!

83: The most difficult thing to do is: exist within the same room as my mother without bursting into tears or storming off

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

81: My zodiac sign is: Virgo! Viriborn for all you homestucks! and dragon in the animal one!

80: The first person i talked to today was: my dad :’) and then i messaged @deanilise even tho she was asleep

79: First time you had a crush: uh, as far back as i can remember i had a “crush” on Daphne Blake :D but i was like a small child and didn’t know what love was so anytime i saw anyone who i thought was cool or pretty or i wanted to befriend i had a supposed “crush” on them :/

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: i try to be pretty open, but sometimes i just wanna close off

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yikes idk

76: Right now I am talking to: like talking to or talking to? for the first, just some group chats for the second, no one

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: i wanna be an artist! i would love to be a youtube artist, but i fear i’m not creative enough for such things.. i would also like to be able to tell my stories!

74: I have/will get a job: i dunno,,

73: Tomorrow: church

72: Today: overslept, did some chores, been online

71: Next Summer: hopefully i can go back to colorado to visit my brother !

70: Next Weekend: ugh, church activities & then actual church, as well as other easter festivities

69: I have these pets: baby kitty, and some dogs....

68: The worst sound in the world: FORK SCRAPING ON BOWL, ERASER SCRAPING ON PAPER, DOG’S SNORING, MY MOTHER’S VOICE WHEN I’M HAVING SENSORY OVERLOAD

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my mother, she’s like the only person that makes me cry unless someone says they’re attempting and i can’t get through to them

66: People that make you happy: @onedirtysock @aliaitee @deku-is-tired @deanilise @awkward-scarfy-boi @fourth-best-jeanist @bnhaworld @bnhya @helloiliketits @trashyfxndoms

65: Last time I cried: last night oops

64: My friends are: (see 66) they’re all very nice & supportive which is amazing & i love them all dearly

63: My computer is: a MacBook air with a galaxy cover

62: My School: not in one but the one i’m gonna go to in the fall is just a community college

61: My Car: N/A

60: I lose all respect for people who: hate on anyone, racists, homophobes, transphobes, pedos, terfs, ableists, etc

59: The movie I cried at was: uh, i dunno, but i was crying abt futurama the other night

58: Your hair color is: orange-y with dark brown roots, supposed to be dyeing it soon :)

57: TV shows you watch: BNHA, HIMYM, Bob’s Burgers, TUA w/ @deanilise Futurama, The Simpsons, Fairytail, Runaway’s, Adventure Time, SVTFOE, etc

56: Favorite web site: Tumblr!

55: Your dream vacation: Ireland,, ofc i always dreamed of going to paris when i was younger, and Britain sounds cool too, & i’ve heard belgium is pretty && japan sounds fun && new york city sounds super cool as well so idk any of those places ig

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: uh, probably when i broke my arm, although i can’t remember it, i did used to get growing pains in my legs when i was younger & could hardly sleep so there’s that option as well

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium or medium-well

52: My room is: messy, but it’s home & also warm

51: My favorite celebrity is: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i dunno

50: Where would you like to be: idk, in my bed ig

49: Do you want children: yea! i wanna adopt!

48: Ever been in love: uh, i thought i was, but it was just an intense crush on this girl lmao

47: Who’s your best friend: already answered this lmao

46: More guy friends or girl friends: girls,,

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: laughing, music, & seeing my friends

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: any of y’all would be great tbh

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: survive

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: lmao no,

41: Have you pre-named your children: uh, i have names picked out that i like, but idk depends how young my kid is when i adopt them, and even then idk if i could bring myself to change their name uwu

40: Last person I got mad at: my mother,,

39: I would like to move to: IRELAND OR SOMETHING I DUNNO I WANT OUT OF THIS GODFORSAKEN COUNTRY

38: I wish I was a professional: artist!! youtube maybe!![ My Favorites ]37: Candy: hmm, i like smarties, m&ms, gummy bears, & sweetarts

36: Vehicle: uhh, vw beetles? WAIT NO JEEP WRANGLERS I THINK

35: President: uh idk

34: State visited: the one i live in lmao, California :)

33: Cellphone provider: idk a lot about them

32: Athlete: N/A

31: Actor: eeeeeeee

30: Actress: eeeeeeee

29: Singer: Case! Patrick Stump!

28: Band: FALL OUT BOYYYYYYYYYYY

27: Clothing store: Hottopic

26: Grocery store: N/A

25: TV show: Arrow! Adventure Time! (ripip) i haven’t seen Arrow in a long time tho so idk if it’s still any good...

24: Movie: Heathers!!

23: Website: Tumblr,,

22: Animal: CATS

21: Theme park: DisneyLand! it’s just sooooooooo expensive ;-;

20: Holiday: HALLOWEEN

19: Sport to watch: Soccer!!

18: Sport to play: none

17: Magazine: i don’t read them

16: Book: The Hunger Games

15: Day of the week: probably friday or saturday

14: Beach: uh, maybe seal? or hermosa?

13: Concert attended: i’ve been to exactly one (1) and i didn’t enjoy it bc it was for Ariana Grande

12: Thing to cook: well you don’t cook them but, COOKIES!!

11: Food: Ice Cream!! Burgers!! Mashed Potatoes !!

10: Restaurant: In-N-Out probably

9: Radio station: 98.7 alt radio

8: Yankee candle scent: uh i dunno

7: Perfume: Vanilla Bean Noelle from bbw

6: Flower: daffodils

5: Color: pink! purple! green!

4: Talk show host: no

3: Comedian: Bo Burnham or John Mulaney

2: Dog breed: Retrievers !

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? yes!

here’s my baby for reference & for putting up with all that

#kitty answers #200 asks #deku-is-tired #calcifer

9 notes · View notes

gyuten · 6 years

Text

a clap of lightning

— Genre: fluff, a tiny bit of angst ; childhood crush!au, college!au (if you squint)

— Pairing: NCT’s Lucas/Reader

— Words: 17.5 k rip y’all

— Synopsis: There is no mistaking that Wong Yukhei is the modern day prince charming little [Name] had been dreaming about. Adult [Name] however, has to face the brunt of her young fantasies as she comes to a startling realization that the man of her dreams is not quite like what she imagined. But maybe, modern day prince charmings are overrated anyways.

— A/N: Hi, I’m Ava, and I’m incapable of writing anything under 5k :) please enjoy this first fic on my new blog. also pls don’t come at me if your ‘keep reading’ doesn’t work ok.

Dreams are often not as sweet as it appears to be. Many overlook the warning that came with it, for, what’s so wrong with opening ourselves to reach out to our greatest fantasy? At the time, naive little [Name] has yet to understand what dreams can really be—what it’s sweetness truly hid, the jagged edges that lurk in its shadows. The dream she’s harbored as a little sapling—like many other girls her age—was simply one of meeting and falling in love with a prince charming. And her prince charming, upon a bold decision she made at the young age of 8 years old, was simply her adjacent neighbor’s loud and clumsy son, Wong Yukhei.

Ever since the family had settled themselves inside the once crooked home with its decaying walls and weathered paint, [Name] had taken notice of their little boy—a boy her mother informed her was in fact of her age—whose smile is pretty unlike any other and was shared too frivolously to the world, his unruly brown locks always tucked inside an old baseball cap, and his mahogany eyes that glittered like rippled lakes when sunlight kisses it at just the right angle. It’s quite inevitable that she found herself dreaming of their budding romance, of being swept off her feet with his blinding smile.

Unfortunately, those fantasies have still remained—and perhaps will always remain—a fantasy, for years.

After weeks of renovation and work done to the Wong residence, the rickety old building was transformed into something more suitable to be called a home. To celebrate, Yukhei and his parents presented themselves at her house’s door, offering a batch of delicious home cooked brownies. Its enticing smell reached all the way up to her opened window, luring her to her windowsill where she sat perched, hesitantly peeking through it where she spotted the short brown tufts of the boy she had unmistakably seen move in across the street, only this time without his baseball cap. As muffled sounds of exchanged conversation was heard between the parents, [Name] tried to find her courage and call out to the boy who seemed uninterested and restless with the boring exchange. But she had never been one to initiate conversation, always too restricted by her shy nature and withdrew herself into her own comfortable shell. It was startling and almost too good to be a coincidence when the boy’s jumpy nerves and unfocused eyes managed to land on her through the porch pillars.

It was when their eyes met and he offered a blinding smile that [Name]—suddenly too flustered and warm for her liking—shut her window with a loud slam and retreated away to her bed. Looking straight at him was, in that moment, odd and unfathomable and intense. Despite how innocent the exchange had been, how sweet and warm he had looked at her, [Name] couldn’t feel any comforting warmth like she did whenever she made a new friend, no, this was far too warm, far too overwhelming she felt her chest heave for air despite nothing choking her as jolts of electricity began coursing through her veins, this feeling licked dangerously at her heart with a painful burn like a raging fire. Perhaps her 8 year old mind had simply failed to understand what she’s feeling at that moment, but it was at that first moment that [Name] decided, Yukhei was the prince charming for her.

One would think that in the following years they spent as neighbors, [Name] and Yukhei would somehow found their time to converse, get to know each other, and establish some form of friendship. But the reality was, even when it was revealed to her that Yukhei was to attend the same elementary school as hers, and conveniently preordained to be her new classmate, [Name] and Yukhei had never shared more than passing glances and polite nods to each other. In hindsight, it could have been her fault. No, it was definitely her fault. Every time she saw him approaching, heard his laughter from the end of the hallway, the knock and call of her name coming from her lawn, or even the sound of his name coming out from someone else’s lips, [Name] shriveled up and turned the other way, her heart hammering thunderously against her rib cage and blood boiling quicker than she could comprehend. The only time where she could look at him without internally combusting was when he was unaware of her.

After countless attempts of reaching out and being offered only rejection, Yukhei gave up and simply ignored her existence. Which should have made her devastated, as she harbored feelings for him—going as far as claiming him her prince charming—and though it did tow in a sense of melancholy and regret, this predicament gave her great relief too. At least she wouldn’t have to live constantly looking over her shoulders every time the name Yukhei was mentioned. She convinced herself, this was probably best. And so, for years, despite the many circumstances that should’ve landed them as childhood friends, they were in reality nothing more than strangers.

One would think that someone as sweet and kind hearted as the new student Wong Yukhei would easily nestle his way into being a well rounded student among his peers and teachers. It took only three weeks for Yukhei to prove everyone wrong. While the sun rested at its highest peak, the cafeteria was bustling with overlapping chatters and moving bodies eager to please their appetites. [Name] had just finished her meal with a satisfied hum when the thundering echoes of the hundreds of voices started to dwindle, at first subtle, like a spark before a fire. And then it was snuffed out with only the traces of lingering smoke. The voices came from hundreds, to a hundred, to tens, until complete silence overtook the room. Unsettled, [Name] looked to the friends sat at her table for an answer, but found their attention focused elsewhere. It seemed, as she glanced at the students all around her, their voices had been claimed by something else outside the cafeteria.

When she followed their eyes, [Name] nearly choked as her heart leaped on its own accords, as it always did when it saw him. Wong Yukhei was standing by the hallway at the mouth of the cafeteria. Only this time, it wasn’t his presence alone that made her squirm in her seat. It was Wong Yukhei with blood smeared across his fist, Wong Yukhei’s glittering irises that glinted with a wildness that didn’t belong to such a sweet face, Wong Yukhei’s chest heaving with the residue of his anger. [Name]’s heart backtracked and plummeted unlike it ever did. This was not her prince charming. Yukhei stood over a whimpering boy, cornered by the walls, face hidden by his shaking hands to shroud the injury he sustained from receiving the punch. Despite not being able to see his face, [Name] could recognize the snaggle tooth through his pained grimace with ease. It was Park Woojin, a boy whose path she made sure to never cross with due to his poor attitude. Then her attention flickered over to the girl cowering behind Yukhei and recognized her as Kim Jennie, the recently arrived transfer student. From how the three were positioned, anyone in the silent cafeteria could understand what had transpired. It wasn’t a secret that Park Woojin had recently taken an interest in tormenting poor Jennie due to her foreign upbringing, and although many pitied her and attempted to stop Woojin, in the end they were all too scared to face the brunt of the troubled boy. That was, until Yukhei, it seemed.

No one dared to move, until the sharp sound of clicking heels seeped through the hallway with a menacing echo bouncing against the walls like a looming threat. Mrs. Choi appeared before the three, brows drawn to match her furious frown. She took a few seconds to asses the situation, taking a short glance at each three before choosing to land on Yukhei again.

“Wong Yukhei. Come with me. All of you, help Woojin to the infirmary.” She barked her order without leaving any room for Yukhei or the crowd of students to argue.

Yukhei’s anger simmered all too suddenly like a trampled flower. Without another word but a last fleeting glance at Woojin, Yukhei followed after Mrs. Choi. Immediately, as soon as the last trace of their presence vanished, the students clambered out of their seats and surrounded the two remaining figures of a shellshocked Jennie and wounded Woojin, filling the room once more with a familiar racket. She was one of the few who didn’t move from her seat, too focused on churning the new information before her. Wong Yukhei had punched the school bully to protect a girl. Wong Yukhei risked getting punishment to save a girl. Wong Yukhei busted his knuckles punching the bully no one dared to come near to. Wong Yukhei. Oddly enough, her thoughts drifted to the many courageous and dashing prince’s in her favorite Disney movies who had came to the rescue of their damsel in distress, saving them from dragons and evil witches. Wong Yukhei was, in a sense, like those brave princes, at that very moment.

This was the incident that had unknowingly snagged [Name] further in Wong Yukhei’s clutches.

Yukhei had gotten off with a month worth of detention and a growing popularity amongst his peers. Word of how he had defended Jennie after Woojin broke her toy were all the school could talk about for two weeks long. In those two weeks, [Name] had to learn to not jump up on her seat at every mention of Yukhei’s name and gave way to her biggest secret. Which was pretty difficult. What made it all the more difficult for her was when she realized how much she’s begun to pay more attention to Yukhei after that incident. Yes, she’s noticed how bright and contagious his joy had affected those around him, it’s difficult not to when he’s always claiming everyone’s attention with his presence. But lately, she’d begun to notice a different side to him, a more delicate edge to his blinding exuberance, a side that was arcane and often mislooked. [Name] knew of his secret passtime of feeding the stray cats that wandered aimlessly around the school’s lawn with his leftover lunch every day, she knew that Yukhei had lied to Mrs. Choi when he claimed to have lost his group project when it was his partner who had been a nervous wreck all morning about the missing project, she knew that he had only released the class’ hamster because she overheard his defense over how sad and lonely it looked sitting on its cage everyday. [Name] knew these things about Yukhei, knew of the kind hearted, sensible and caring person he was, and yet never dared to speak of it to anyone else.

She decided it was to be their own little secret—whether he’s aware of it or not—an undisclosed knowledge that filled her with amusement and fondness that only she got to feel. It in a way, brought her somewhat closer to Yukhei—although their distance remained. It, in a way that she knew brought only further complication to her already suffocating affection for him, was the reason she found herself willingly falling deeper into the uncertain abyss that was Wong Yukhei.

Even as she entered middle school Yukhei’s presence still lingered. He was fickle and difficult to be rid of, like a pollen. [Name] didn’t complain much, because she couldn't deny the elation of being able to still be around him. Apparently, what she kept convincing herself as an ‘elementary school crush’ phase had stretched on even up to middle school.

It was a week before their midterms as she recalled correctly, when Yukhei first laid his eyes on her after years of averting each other’s gazes. She recalled the creeping feeling of defeat as she realized that she wasn’t anywhere near prepared for the exam. She had been busy at the time, running errands as the vice president to the student council and relentlessly practicing for the school’s competition coming up. [Name], stupidly, as a result, had succumbed too many times to her exhaustion instead of paying attention to class and taking proper notes. She would’ve asked one of her friends to tutor her or even copy from their notes, but they themselves are swamped with school projects and preparation for midterms on their own. [Name] wasn’t inconsiderate, the last thing she wanted was to burden any of her friends with her incompetence.

Her friends had left for lunch at that particular day, while she chose to stay in her seat and attempted some last minute cramming session amidst drowning in regret and self pity. Though try as she might, only a portion of the information read was able to be thoroughly processed into clarity. With all her focus on her biology book, [Name] had tuned out the noise of the class door opening and the footsteps that followed. Only when their silhouette spilled over her textbook did she look away from it. She was certain that the choking noise she emitted was too loud not to be noticed. It’s only natural, for as soon as her mind realized that it was him standing over her, him staring right at her, and him alone to accompany her in the barren class, how could her nerves not petrify at all? How could she possibly focus on grasping for much needed air when his eyes were so tender, so careful and almost frightened at the thought of landing it on her, yet the warmth it always held crackled and burned right at her?

Despite Yukhei’s sudden presence that warranted [Name] to deal with an overwhelming surge of clashing emotions she knew was very much visible on her expression, he didn’t say a word. He kept staring, and [Name] was guilty of not looking away, of allowing herself to be ensnared in the intricate webbing of constellations that shone in his eyes.

“Here.” Finally, he spoke.

The spell he casted her under snapped and she was forced to look away. Embarrassment quickly flooded her system when it sinked in that she had been blatantly—and unabashedly mind you— staring at him, what’s worse was that this time he was aware of it. Through her silent self-reprimanding and desire to disappear from existence, [Name] finally took notice of his hands that held a worn binder and milk bread. He placed the two items on her desk, and she was too curious to not look. When she flipped the binder open to a random page, it opened up to pages of notes written in neat and compact words. Jumping ahead a few pages, [Name] was startled when she landed upon the very notes she needed for the upcoming midterms. As she let the knowledge of the new found study material sink in, [Name] glanced at the milk bread sat beside the binder. She nearly forgot that this was lunch time and that she hadn’t attempted to fill up her growling stomach at all.

Somehow, through the years of silence and avoidance, Yukhei had manage to come to her at her time of need, which was both suspicious and convenient. Yet she couldn’t be bothered to voice her suspicion, tongue tied and mortified as it struck her: Yukhei noticed her, enough to know that she’s been struggling through class and had chosen to abandon her health to make up for it. With some leftover courage, [Name] gazed up at Yukhei, somehow still standing before her, and still staring. She knew that even without saying a word, Yukhei should’ve understood the question laid on her puzzled expression. But still, he remained silent. At first, she thought his wordless state was only because of how painfully awkward this encounter was, yet the twitch of his lips and the shaking of his fists told her that something restrained him from saying anything else. She wished he wasn’t, it had been so long since she last heard his voice so close to her, felt him beside her. Yukhei ducked his head away, almost pained to look at her any further, before the rest of his limbs followed suit and walked away from her without any moment to linger. When the classroom’s door came to a shut, [Name] found herself heaving for air, somehow unaware of how breathless she had been with Yukhei. Again, her gaze drifted to the binder and the milk bread—a very thoughtful account that brought warmth unwillingly spreading to her cheeks.

This where she realized that her feelings for Yukhei was most definitely not a phase, not when it still remained as they graduated and stepped into high school.

While in high school, Yukhei was able to secure his social status by snagging the position as the soccer club’s midfielder. While [Name] chose photography. After middle school, she decided against joining the student council and focused on her academics and extracurricular instead. Though that thought had yet to blossom into satisfactory results, perhaps due to fate’s unnecessary meddling of her non-existent love life. Somehow, joining the photography club meant that you’re responsible for capturing the school’s each proudful achievement and activities. Somehow, this meant that the soccer team claimed most of her time. She hadn’t yet determine whether it was fortunate or not that her decision to join the photography club had given her the opportunity to watch Yukhei at an even closer distance.

Much to her disappointment however, she and Yukhei never got to interact the way she hoped they would in high school, like the way he appeared at her time of need at that fateful spring day. She couldn’t really blame him. High school was the year that he started juggling too much, appeasing too many, working too hard. Though yes, it disappointed her at first, [Name] couldn’t help but swell with admiration for the boy the more she paid attention to his persistence and hard work in managing his time. He remained steady in the top 10 of his class, maintained his social status with one of the most popular cliques in school, continued his after school soccer drills and on-the-work band without any complaints, and somehow, was still humble enough to appease to those around him, still threw out smiles through the sweat and exhaustion in his bones. How could anyone not favor him? And how could her heart ever let someone like that go?

What she remembered most about Yukhei in those three years of high school though was the unbelievably unfair puberty that struck him. To put it simply, the tall, dorky yet charming Yukhei she’s grown fond of has flourished into a dapper, taller and gorgeous Yukhei that grew in well to his features. Soccer had toned out his muscles and kissed his skin with a beautiful golden tan, the new hair he’s chosen to settle with perfectly framed his features and further accentuated his appeal, and his voice—wow, how easily she found herself shivering every time she thought of him speak—had drastically changed into a deep velvet tune that rung persistently in her daydreams. Yukhei grew into a beautiful man, both in appearance and heart, and just when [Name] thought he couldn’t get any more attractive.

High school was the year when [Name] attempted to get over her stupid crush. Yet failed, again and again, every time he smiled, laughed, spoke, and breathed. Somehow, she doesn’t mind this.

By the time she graduated and enrolled into the college of her dreams, [Name] had chosen to abandon any of her previous fantasies regarding Yukhei to focus better on her classes. Like any other freshmen, her mindset was very ambitious, yet so very wrong, as she had nearly been reduced to a heap of exhausted limbs and fried brain circuits. But she willed herself to stumble through, and she did. Regarding Yukhei, well, Yukhei was not a pollen she decided, he was a leech, for even in college she could not escape him. Fortunately, despite taking the same minor as him, they had completely different schedules, which meant she only had to deal with her stifling affection and constantly freezing limbs only when she passed by him somewhere within the university’s property, which was very rare. Life however, decided it’s finally had enough of their stubborn persistence of avoiding each other.

The start of a new semester, among all other things, meant new schedules, new arrangement of classmates, and a bigger chance of landing in the same class as Yukhei—a possibility she overlooked too greatly. It had been such a long time since thoughts of him occupied her mind, so long that she was convinced she’s finally escaped the clutches of his charms.

When she steps into the lecture hall on the current wind blown day, with steaming coffee in hand and a calm mindset ready to indulge herself in another semester of overwhelming knowledge, the entire first year she’s built herself up into the self assured and confident woman crumbles at the doorstep when she sets eyes on her occupied seat—occupied by Wong Yukhei. [Name] nearly spills her coffee on her brand new blouse as her knees wobbled at seeing him. And out of all places, right at her seat. Technically speaking, it’s not hers, as there are no assigned seats in this class. But it’s an unspoken system that has been established since the first day of class: the first seat they sat on upon their first day was to be their assigned seat for as long as they remained on said class. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know that.

It’s been so long since she’s felt the tide of anxiety taking over her body, so long since she’s felt like a vulnerable and love-sick little girl that she’s berrated herself for being in the past. She forgot just how significantly powerful Yukhei’s presence could affect her. It feels like hours, yet it has only been minutes that she’s been standing, frozen, by the door. [Name] only wills herself to move from the doorway when a classmate came up to her with worry. She smiles, assuring them that she’s just fine, before heading up the flight of stairs for her seat. Crazy how she used to avoid coming in contact with Yukhei like he’s the plague, but now finds herself willingly heading straight at him.

The problem with Yukhei taking her seat is that she has a particularly strong reason for being so attached to it. First off, the distance between her seat and the professor’s is too perfect, not too close to have her be spotted whenever she decides to slack off once in awhile, but not too far away that she can’t hear the room carry the professor’s explanation in all its detail. The lighting that its glass window provided is also too perfect for her to give up on, her neatly written notes and occasional surging self indulging selfies depends too much on it. She has to take that seat back. It becomes clear the closer she got to him that the barrier separating them from intertwining into an awkward stare off that morning is because of the earphones currently plugged in his ears and the novel that’s taken his attention hostage. She doesn’t know that Yukhei likes to read novels.

This time, she is prepared to interact with him without making a fool of herself like the previous times, this time, she is certain that the confidence she’s fostered in the past year can break through the confinements of her sentiments over him. It’s empowering to think on, the transformation she’s wade through in the past year has fundamentally changed her enough for her to be aware of the lack of stumble in her step and the missing stutter in her breath as she draws closer to him. Yes, she’ll be fine. At the echo in her footstep, his eyelashes flutter, as graceful as the motion of a butterfly’s wings, a slow and deliberate action that allowed the morning sunlight to filter through it in a moment that poets would proudly claim as their muse. His body moves just as slow, a sluggish movement that hints at his unaccustomed system to the newly scheduled morning class. Then, his eyes land on her. She stops herself before him, this scene familiar, if not for the opposing side she now finds herself in.

“Excuse me, you’re in my seat.” She prides herself in delivering the sentence without any hitches.

The arch of his eyebrow gives away his astonishment at her boldness, a quality he remembers her clearly not having. Though to be fair, it was over five years ago that he last interacted with her. Yukhei tucks his folded arms on his desk with an innocent semblance to hide the fascination for this new found [Name]. He notices the confidence in which she carries herself with, and frankly, he likes this new change.

“Oh?”

[Name] nearly slips back into her addled state of mind at how readily he replies.

“I believe you’re new in this class, but you see, I’ve sat here for an entire year now. And you might not be aware, but there’s this whole thing about ‘first come, first serve’. So it’d be very nice if you could find some seat elsewhere, please. “

In an abruptness she isn’t prepared for, Yukhei tucks his novel and earphone into his arms and readily stands away from the seat. He shrugs his bag onto his shoulder and steps closer, too close that [Name] has to step back to give herself the much preferred comfortable distance between them that would not give away to the blush rising her cheeks or her erratic heart beat.

“It’s cool, you can have it.”

Startled, [Name] pauses to confirm that he is indeed giving away her seat back. When Yukhei juts his chin to the seat and quirks an eyebrow at her lack of movement, she finally move to claim it. As they side step past each other, [Name] is careful to not come into any contact with him, afraid that any brush of skin might bring out the current panicking and disbelieving crush obsessed side of hers.

“Hey,” She curses at herself inwardly for how quickly her head turns to him, “Your lipstick’s kind of uneven, might wanna fix that.” He gestures to his grinning lips, then leaves with what she’s certain is a joyful bounce in his step over successfully mocking her.

For years, [Name] has dreamt of the first moment in which she and Yukhei would meet—truly meet and converse that is. Now that she’s achieved just that, she’s greatly disappointed and embarrassed over how their interaction went. Yukhei is supposed to be the prince charming: chivalrous, well mannered and kind. He is supposed to be enchanted by the patiently crafted make up she dons on her features, find the too large sweater she’s wearing an adorable sight enough to compliment on, supposed to fall to his knees for her smile. But he isn’t. Of course he isn’t. What a fool she is for ever allowing herself to be indulged in such childish and unrealistic fantasies. All at once, she can feel her confidence deflate into one of insecurity. She can’t look that terrible, right? Sure she’s not the prettiest girl in the room, but surely she’s not hideous enough as to not warrant any reaction out of him. Does he even recognize her? Has the years of accidental eye contact and those few interactions they shared in the past meant nothing? Is she that plain that he can forget her so easily? And of all the things he could notice about her, it just had to be her god darn messy lipstick.

“Way to go, [Name].” This is said with means of shaming herself, and a difficulty to understand why this meeting could go so differently than what she expected it to.

The doors shudder open with a bang only her temperamental professor could afford to do so early in the morning. With one last sigh to end her swirling thoughts, [Name] sits herself down on her desk and unpack her necessities on to the desk. Suddenly, this seat doesn’t feel as great as it was as she follows through class that morning. Suddenly, the word prince charming seems farther in the distance than it ever was.

Maybe if she isn’t so muddled in her own thoughts she would have noticed Yukhei’s presence at the seat right in front of hers, despite the harsh glare of the sun that always lands on said spot and has left it unoccupied for the entire year.

Sharing a class with Yukhei is nothing new, she thinks. She’s shared a handful of classes with him in the past, which she confidently believe is enough of a reason for her to not be caught surprised by any of his antics. Well, sharing a class with Yukhei and sharing a class within close seating distance with him is definitely different. For starters, she’s always been enthralled by the way Yukhei exudes an aura of perfection so easily. How he can be studious, social, athletic and actively participate in various events has more than once touched her with awe and wonder. Apparently, either she was too incredibly absorbed in her own daydream to have somehow convinced herself that Yukhei is everything her prince charming was, or college is really kicking at his ass and has rendered him stripped of all his nearly perfect semblance.

On their second day, [Name] takes notice of the seat he chooses to occupy. But, having her expectation and hope crushed so quickly the day before, she shakes away any thoughts of him possibly sitting there for her. The class ticks by in agonizingly dull minutes, yet having grown accustomed to this, [Name] wades through without an ounce of drowsiness on her. The same could not be said for Yukhei. Throughout the entire time they’ve been school mates, he has always proven to be well rounded in all his academics. This she believes is gained through a lot of hard work and sharp focus to the class he attends. Somehow, college Yukhei is not exuding any of that academically well rounded student that day. No, he is exuding the aura of a mentally drained student who chooses to sleep through his lectures. And he just had to be one of those students who sleeps sitting straight, letting their head droop backwards once they go completely unconscious.

[Name] is only interested in taking notes from the board, yet every time she glance forward, she also catches a glimpse of Yukhei’s sleeping face, albeit turned upside down from where she sits. A frown crawls its way on her lips, for not only is he distracting her from her class, but he has further plummeted her emotions for the boy she believed was a perfect and well mannered student. Had he been sleeping in classes without her knowing all these years? Was his satisfactory grades a result of cheating?

No, stop caring [Name].

It’s difficult not to, not when the first slip of drool drips from the corner of his mouth. [Name] doesn’t want to cause any unnecessary attention to herself, but gosh she nearly couldn’t contain the gasp that’s about to come out from her. At this angle and circumstance, Yukhei looks nothing like the prince charming she’s remembered.

Stop it.

This is no time to dwell on such trivial matters. She’s held through the first year of college with a GPA to be proud of because she’s abandoned him. Right now, she can’t afford to let herself slip. Instead of the shock and confusion she expects to feel, Yukhei’s slumbering face makes her nerves tick in annoyance, not only for being a distraction, or for his lack of appreciation to the professor’s explanation, but also for the notion that he seems to have no regards for his future in this college. She clicks at her pen and pokes it at Yukhei’s forehead as an attempt to wake him. He doesn’t budge. Harder, she pokes at his cheek. Nothing. Even harder, with eyebrows further pulled down it makes her forehead wrinkle.

Instead of slowly stirring to consciousness, Yukhei is jerked awake with a sudden jolt that makes her jump in her seat. He pulls himself up into an upright position and turns in his seat to her, looking like a crazed man with wild unfocused eyes. Slowly, consciousness seeps back into him, and a certain calmness dawns on him. [Name] should have been mesmerized, petrified, heart fluttering at the way he holds her gaze. But his red rimmed eyes and drool covered cheeks halts herself from feeling any of that. She notices that the line of drool on his cheeks has been smudged when he jerked awake, unfortunately, its remnants now exist by the tip of her favorite pen.

With a disgusted grimace, [Name] unwillingly shoves the pen to Yukhei, “I guess this is yours now,” Yukhei, still dazed and unaware of what had transpired, takes the pen with furrowed eyebrows, “And pay attention.” She scolds, already pulling her gaze away from him and back to her notes which should have been finished if not for his interruption.

“Uhm, thanks.” He mumbles, still turned towards her, though she tries to brush it off and regain her focus.

“You have a zit on your forehead by the way, might want to cover that up.” Baffled and utterly startled by the bluntness in which he says it so casually, [Name] lands her eyes back on him.

Yukhei’s smile trickles with playfulness, though with the drool marks on his cheek, she expects that he shouldn’t be able to still look so ridiculously good looking. He waves her pen in the air as a thank you, and returns his attention back to the professor as if nothing had happened. She, insulted and growing increasingly vexed by the man sitting before her, is urged with the temptation of hitting his head with another pen and demand him to be rightfully courteous as to thank her for waking him and cleaning her pen instead of readily taking it. And what kind of well mannered man would so blatantly point out the zit on her forehead? Is it really her fault her hormones are acting up? Self consciously, she pokes at the reddening pimple on her forehead, churning the pain that has gotten worse since this morning.

An annoyed huff escapes her. Prince charming be damned, she has no idea how she could ever expect Wong Yukhei to be one. He is just as infuriating, rude, and childish as the boys she and her friends made fun of at high school. She just wished she hadn’t spent all those years chasing after such a lost cause.

She feels a deeper stab of betrayal the longer she thinks about him, about who she believed he was and what he really is. Yet, she has no idea why her heart beat still refuses to calm down.

Funny how when she had been so desperate for his attention in the past, life made no effort to meddle in and realize it. But the minute she decided that she wanted nothing to do with him, life graces her with his constant presence, and worst of all, had arranged how exactly he was going to sneak himself into her life. It’s all because of Kim Mingyu, the blasted gargantuan and his easily wooed heart.

“Hey,” Without knowing it, the baritone of his voice had clung onto her mind at their first real conversation a week ago, its distinctive rasp easily identifiable.

It’s possible that Yukhei might not be calling out for her specifically, she can’t be sure when her eyes are downcasted and curtained by the loose strands of hair. His seat is left empty, and surprisingly, he is found lingering instead on the seat next to hers. How peculiar of him to seek out for her. But, she does not give in as easily to the whispers in her over excited heart and chooses instead the rational side of her mind. Her eyes only wander away from her notes when the pause in the air is interrupted by the clear of his throat. A small smirk can’t be helped but shift her serene expression, one of a rare pompous satisfaction at the notion that this time he is the one vying for her attention. When their eyes meet, Yukhei’s irises are less of a magnificence than what she remembered it being, its glimmer dim. Though it changes not the way her heart reacts to witnessing it, every time. Fortunately, this time she has gotten better at controlling and masking her true disheveled state.

“Professor told me that I’ve been doing poorly in class, you see. And I was thinking that you might be able to help me, since you know, you’re one of the best in this class.” Hesitance seems to be a foreign mentality for him.

“Why not ask Mingyu?” She doesn’t want to outright admit that she finds herself feeling flattered that she’s the first option he decided on.

Yukhei takes the vacant seat next to hers with a startling casual air that mirrors not to the awkward tension they’ve been in for the past years. [Name] scoots her chair away from him out of nervous habit, creating a distance much more preferred. He shoots her a dazzling smile, one that reaches his eyes and slowly lights them with the familiar warm glimmer that makes her stomach churn. No, she is not falling for his charms, not again.

“I did actually. But he bailed on me when Sohye asked him to tutor her, and well you know, he’s smitten over her and can’t refuse. So, he told me to find you.” She responds to him with a frown she hopes doesn’t give away her dejection too easily.

How foolish is she, to think that Yukhei would willingly come before her for help. It would make sense that he’s only here because he has to. He might not even remember or recognize her, despite the years they’ve been placed together. Of course he won’t, she made sure of that. Get a hold of yourself, her mind warns. Though her rattled heart leaves her fingers shaking as it grips her pen, her expression remains steady. So what if he doesn’t remember her? So what if she’s just a second choice to him? She’s survived an entire year without his approval, why let this change anything about her? The shake in her fingers subside.

“Right,” Her curt reply cannot fully mask the disappointment she feels however, try as she might, “Maybe if you hadn’t spent your time sleeping you wouldn’t need to be bothered with me.” She quips.

Yukhei shifts his seat towards her with a curios tilt of his head, wandering of the hostility and dismissiveness in which she’s given him. As he recalls, [Name] has always been a quiet girl. But her gentle heart and delightful mannerism has always spoke louder than her. So, is it his presence that induces this colder edge to the surface? How odd.

“Yeah well, band practice kind of takes its toll on me,” He says this, expecting her to crumble and give in to a curious reaction, but she is as about responsive as a statue, which displeases and further drives him to gouge out for the girl he knows is hidden somewhere underneath, “We call ourselves NCT. Your friend Jungwoo and Jeno are in it with me.”

There is a millisecond pause in her blink, one Yukhei takes notice of with the aid of the close distance they have. He half expects her to push him away or even move to a different seat with the lack of distance he’s forced upon them. Usually, when he lands her eyes on her, she would do everything she can to not hold his gaze. Something about him unsettles her, he knows, and frankly the knowledge of not being well liked by someone upsets him. So it comes as a surprise when [Name] willingly averts her attention to him this time, unlike what he’d expect her to do. There is no hiding the surprise in his parted lips and bulging eyes, as this time he is the one struggling to hold her gaze. [Name] swells with pride with the reaction she manages to pull from him. It’s fortunate that he can’t tell how hard her heart has been hammering against her ribcage all this time.

“That’s nice. But that shouldn’t be an excuse to slack off on college.” The way she speaks reminds Yukhei of his mother back at home, a tenderness has touched her voice beneath its stern pretense.

Ah, there’s that girl I remembered.

There is no guilt in his grin, not like what she had hoped her scolding would bring. One second he is caught off guard and vulnerable to her, and the next the tables have turned and she finds herself falling back into the familiar pattern of gasping for breath before him. All because of a stupid grin.

“Stop.” Her thoughts speak out before she can think it through.

Yukhei sits, perplexed, unaware of what he’s doing to her all the while looking so adorable with his furrowed eyebrows and small pout. Darn him.

“Look, I’ll tutor you, okay? Now can you please stop bothering me?” She hastily throws the answer with a flip of her hair as she attempts to focus back to her notes.

Satisfied, Yukhei rise from his seat[Name] glance at him from the corner of her eyes, watching the transition of him gathering his belongings to recomposing his stature, before his stare dawns on her. She narrows her eyes to question his unmoving presence, and he only smiles, content with the new change she’s underwent. It seems it’ll be easier to speak to her now.

“Saturday at 4. I’m sure you know Amyrea Cafe two blocks away.” It’s not said as a question, but rather an agreement that he chose to agree on behalf of her name.

[Name] scoffs, above the thundering of her heart and the slow haze of her mind muddled with the memory of his heart wrenching smile, “I believe this is my tutoring session. What makes you think you can decide when and where—“ “You’re right, sorry.” The insincere apology is not accepted, if her scrunched expression is any give away to it.

Yukhei wants to laugh, delighted with the many reactions he is able to gouge out of her. To think that it only took nearly a decade for him to witness something other than a pink cheeked and wide eyed expression. He settles his hands on the pockets of his pants, an action she can’t help but think make him appear like one of the models that lines the cover of magazines.

“Like I said, band practice takes up a lot of my time. The only time I’m free is after 4 on Saturdays. Well, Sundays too, but that’s more of a me-time kind of day, you know?”

She doesn’t know whether he’s bluffing or not, for certainly no one can be that busy to not have time to study for less than a day in an entire week. Though uncertain, she opt to say nothing and offer a complacent sigh to him. That response however seemed to lack in what he require, as he stays rooted and continue his onslaught of staring. She realizes he’s never looked at her like this before, with expectancy and a hopeful tint in the worn brown of his irises. It’s becoming a bit too much for her heart to handle.

“Fine.” She agrees once she feels her heart might burst out of her chest.

Satisfied, he flashes a thumbs up and finishes off with a playful wink she’s not sure hold any meaning other than to further tease her. She’s never received any of his playful antics before, but now that she has, she hates to admit that it brings back the dorky, youthful Yukhei she fell for in the first place. Gosh, why is it that when she finds a quality in him she dislikes, he can immediately reel her back in with such an easily appealing action? He scurries back to his seat just as the professor enters, and she’s guilty of watching him go.

Should she dread or risk harboring hope for the upcoming Saturday? She wonders. The thought hit her too late and too sudden the way a freight train might crash and burn, that today, she might have just landed a date with the very prince charming she’s been dreaming of since she was 8.

Oh, but he’s not as charming as I hoped for anyways.

At least, that’s what she wills herself to believe.

The turmoil of dread and excitement she’s been harboring for this particular Saturday has ensued into a pleasant—albeit with a bit of disappointing mannerism from Yukhei here and there—enough occasion. To start, Yukhei was late, and she had to wait an entire half an hour in neverending impatience and anxious foot tapping. Then, he had asked her to stand and order for him, claiming he was too exhausted from the running he did to reach the cafe. Then again, he isn’t all too difficult to teach, which really makes up for his poor manners and tardiness. She knows that the stellar grades he’s accumulated in the past could only be a result of his intelligence. He simply needs a quick catch up on the lessons he’s missed during his nap sessions to pick up on the pace of the class. Within just two hours, Yukhei’s absorbed most of the basics they learned in that first week, and an exhausted silence ensues.

When she takes a glance to the walls of glass windows lining the small cafe as their textbooks come to a close, the gleaming blue that stretches above the bustling city of Seoul has been dipped with hues of purple, orange and pink, a telltale sign of the setting sun as its peak lingers in the horizon. Tufts of white clouds dot the sky beneath the cool wind, crowds of both people and cars have started to pile up on the streets as the working hours come to a close. The flow of time in Seoul has always been fast, too hurried it leaves her with not enough time to settle and appreciate trivial things like the beauty that lies in its streets. At this moment, she feels the clicking in which time slows, if only just a tad.

“You’re daydreaming.” Time winds back up when his voice cuts through the room, everything launching too fast that she can’t help but flinch.

When she risk a glance at him, contentment and peace of mind reflects in his slackened posture and small smile. A tenderness reach his eyes, one that ignites the tingling warmth throughout her system, one too familiar. She looks down to her scattered notes and attempts to nonchalantly cover her blushing cheeks by resting both her hands on them to appear as if she’s resting her head on her hands. Yukhei, as mischievous as a little boy, mimics her movement, but settles his gaze on her instead of his table.

“It’s cool. I figured you might not want to talk to me since we’re done with the tutoring here.” Though he means to remain casual with his words, [Name] can’t help but turn to him at the assumption.

“How do you mean?”

“Well, it’s how we always are. I try to reach out to you, you turn your back and shut me out,” He shifts his position and leans away from the table and her as if his own words pained him, and as the sun casts its remaining light on his face, she sees that his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes now, “I mean, I can’t blame you for hating me, since obviously I can’t make everyone like me. I just…” He doesn’t finish himself, opting for showing a frown to set his point across.

Has she been all too selfish for thinking that she’s the only one to have suffered from the predicament she landed them into? Was it just her imagination that Yukhei had just expressed how bothered he was over the way she treated him? She feels her fingers tremble at the force of such sudden enlightenment slipping into her thoughts. Furthermore, Yukhei’s curled fists and downcasted gaze are not boding well on her processing mind. Perhaps the reason these thoughts have never penetrated her mind before is due to the belief that Yukhei can never be bothered by her. It’s much more logical to think that the popular and socially adverse Wong Yukhei could never notice the quiet girl who prefers to keep to herself and her small group of friends. Besides, why would Yukhei bother himself with the lovesick quiet girl who spends her time avoiding him? Now, now she can’t be sure anymore.

“Y-You noticed me?” Of all the thoughts racing through her mind, the idea of him noticing her after all the years of avoidance and minimal contact is what kept ringing in her ears, a sound too good to be true she has to ask to be certain.

The calloused pads of his fingers gripping after each other in a nervous awaiting for her reaction cease. He settles closer to the backrest of his seat with a long sigh, the wandering of his eyes hinting at his struggle to grasp for the right words.

“It’s hard not to. You’re the girl who does all she can to not talk to me after all.”

Girl. To him, she is just another girl among the crowds. Yet, that can’t be true, for he somehow recognizes her through the sea of faces he’s met over the years. So, why did he just refer to her as a girl? After she swallows the disappointment in her throat, it became clear that she had hoped for him to refer to her as a pretty girl, a sweet girl, or even a nice girl. Anything that could give away the impression he has of her. But she’s come to realize Yukhei isn’t the type of guy to meet your expectations.

“You’ve been surprisingly a lot more talkative to me these days. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but it seems like my charms are finally coming through to you, and to think it only takes a decade.” He slides humor into the tense silence like smooth butter.

[Name] is guilty of falling too easily for it, breaking out a small smile that fades as instantly as it comes.

“I’m sorry, Yukhei.” It’s heavy on her tongue and odd to her taste buds: his name said with an apology.

It seems she’s not the only one to think so, as Yukhei’s wide eyes bore to hers with an astonishment to match his parted coffee stained lips.

“It wasn’t fair of me to do that to you. Though, if I knew that me avoiding you had been bothering you, I wouldn’t have done that.” Lies.

“So, we’re cool right?” He’s never sounded so cautious before, always loud spoken and blunt and strongly passionate.

The entirety of this unreal situation only sinks in when Yukhei hands the question. What exactly would this mean? That she gets to befriend her long time crush and suffer knowingly in a loop of never ending butterflies, racing heartbeat and taut nerves? Most likely, yes. What fears her the most about accepting and opening herself to a friendship with Yukhei is the possibility of having him find out about her true feelings, of leaving her hope in the hands of someone who can destroy it and her heart at the same time. Though now, she has to take into account his feelings as well if she is to reject. It’s quite difficult to make a rational decision when Yukhei’s eyes are watching her so. Even as she attempts to ignore his stare, its intensity leaves goosebumps across her skin.

“Cool?” She echoes back, hoping for an elaboration.

“As in you know, be civilized friends/neighbor/classmates/study buddy kind of thing. That is...if it’s alright with you?” She sees the quiver of his lips as he grows impatient for an answer.

Well, what’s a little bit of heartbreak compared to the chance of being able to experience Yukhei’s exuberance and all his dorky glory up close? She’s always dreamed of being able to be in close presence to her prince charming. And this is her chance. Perhaps, she might regret this decision one day. Especially after she realizes that Yukhei might not be the boy she’s envisioned him to be after all. Maybe, allowing himself into her life can finally make this fantasy of hers go away. So today, she is going to take her chances with the boy she’s pined over for nearly a decade.

“Okay.”

As their coffee grow increasingly colder into the darkening night, [Name] can feel only the lightness in her heart and the warmth of her cheeks at witnessing Yukhei’s blinding grin. At least, until he had to run off in a rush with a mere thank you not long after, leaving her to pay for their meals and less load in her wallet.

“Damn you, Wong Yukhei. You can’t just be a proper gentleman for one second?” She sinks dejectedly on to her taxi’s leather seat, with one last lingering memory of his grin to convince herself she’s not making a mistake.

The next Monday, Yukhei had somehow convinced her seatmate, Jisoo, to switch their seats. So it’s not entirely her fault that her hands had unknowingly spasmed with unbridled nerves and spilled coffee on her sleeves when Yukhei struts into class and takes the seat beside her.

“What are you doing?” She tries not to let her inner panic show through, but the way she hisses the question gives away a tad of her anxious nerves.

Yukhei is the embodiment of joy with a sweet smile and worn brown sneakers, happily bouncing his knees as he sits and lands his eyes to the boards. He spares her no glance, but she knows his widening smile is for her.

“Why, I thought you said we’re cool? So I’m here, cool and ready to learn with you.” He says it so casually that her increasing rush of her blood starts to hurt.

He just wants to be friends, [Name]. You can at least do that.

Clearing her face of any trace of her inner turmoils, [Name] clears her throat and turns back to her notes with a small oh.

“By the way, I can’t make it this Saturday for tutoring. So, you should come over to Jungwoo’s house after classes are done and we can study then, assuming NCT will be done rehearsing anyways.” He tilts his head to beckon for her attention and smirks as soon as she land her eyes on him.

“Excuse me?”

Yukhei raises an amused eyebrow, not as a silent question, rather as a dare for her to talk back. Could it be that he’s aware of her crush on him and is teasing her on purpose? The thought doesn’t stay long, as her annoyance for his lack of manners and the number of bills he owes him for Saturday hurtles into a big pile of curse words stuck in her throat. But, as she was raised to become a sensible and respectful woman, she filters through them carefully before she launches her words at the smug looking Yukhei.

“Who do you think you are, exactly?”

Yukhei leans back in his seat, taken aback by the sharp edge her tone is gliding on.

“As far as I know, I’m not the one who needs tutoring for this class, so you have no right to be making demands, alright? Just because you have pretty eyes and a nice smile, doesn’t mean you can bat it at me all you want and I’ll kneel willingly to your request.” She’s surprised at how she’s able to say it so furiously.

Compared to her, Yukhei is a lot more surprised, though not in the sense that she wants him to be. Rather than regret in his features, she sees the beginning of an amused grin and a playful shadow dancing in his eyes. And then, he laughs, at first a small chuckle that shakes his shoulder, then like a wave his entire body follows until it draws out into a laugh.

“You think I have pretty eyes and a nice smile?” He asks, grinning shyly at the compliment.

She doesn’t even realize she had let that part of her thought slip. In her embarrassed state, she also fails to realize the slight flush coloring Yukhei’s cheeks.

“I’ve always known you’re not as quiet as you appear to be. I just need to push the right buttons to bring you out, huh?”

She says nothing, far too embarrassed.

“You’re prettier when you don’t hide yourself from people, you know.” He speaks of his observation despite having no reason to.

The acceleration of her heart beat comes as expected, following on it is the rush of blood across her system that spreads most evidently in her pink cheeks, and the pen she’s been fumbling with topples out of her hand like a domino. Prettier? Then does he think of her as a pretty girl? Wasn’t she just a girl two days ago, and now, suddenly she’s pretty? It shouldn't be a comment worth changing her entire perspective of Yukhei over. He’s only said one nice thing about her, compared to the many rude and unnecessary remarks he has to make about her appearance in previous days. Or the pompous way in which he carries himself around her, which can be charming, but more often just annoying. Not to mention, his lack of manners and attentiveness. One nice compliment shouldn’t change the fact that Yukhei has been purposely riling her up this past week.

“Flattery will get you nowhere” The words are said above a whisper, if not for their close distance, Yukhei wouldn’t be able to catch the shake in her voice or hear it at all.

“Sorry, you’re right.” There is no humor or playfulness in his voice this time, and his smile wilts away into a more serious expression.

“But I really can’t make it on Saturday. NCT are having our first gig. Would you mind if we move it to today? I promise I’ll pay you back for the coffee at Amyrea yesterday as well.” Now, his tone takes a turn from playful commanding to a soft plea.

She huffs, blowing a strand of hair that has fallen on her face. It’s just convenient that she has no plans for anything after classes today, she’s finished all of her notes and no projects are due until two more weeks which leaves her room to breathe and relax. Should she give up on a night of junk food and binge watching netflix to join Yukhei and his garageband in what she knows is going to be an awkward and tense experience?

“Fine. But next time, I get to decide the tutoring sessions.” She holds his gaze, passing on her displease.

It doesn’t seem to bother Yukhei as he nods his head, an action that reminds her of an over excited puppy waiting for treats. Curse him and his adorable antics.

“And don’t think I won’t charge interest for the coffee at Amyrea.” She points her pen like it could harm him, but with her shaken up heart, she hopes it’ll be enough to get her point across.

He just grins.

That evening, when the last of her classes are over, [Name] had to remind herself of the different route she’ll be taking for the day. Instead of her dorm room, she’ll be heading to Jungwoo’s house, which fortunately is only a few minutes away by train. If it isn’t for Wong Yukhei and his irresistible—yet infuriating—charms, [Name] would have settled for an early sleep today. Kim Jungwoo is a dear friend whose loyalty and trustworthy company isn’t supported by how often you engage him in conversations with. She first met him in middle school when he offered her to lead as vice president alongside him, who had been running for student body president. He’s unlike many boys his age, responsibility and maturity grew on him at a much quicker rate than others. It’s almost like having an older brother, except one that’s of your age. Though they remain friends even till college, [Name] has never once set foot into his home. Until today, oddly enough not through his invitation.

His home is a smooth coral blue, quaint and homey with a minimalistic flare, its door and window frames painted white to match the fence lining the property, the small garden surrounding the premises is flushed with vibrant greens and specks of bright flower petals. It's a home that makes her homesick for her own. When she knocks on the door half expecting for an older woman to open the door for her, it is instead the familiar face of Lee Jeno, another friend of hers she got to know in high school. She draws out a relieved breath, unknowingly hoping that it wouldn’t be Yukhei to invite her in. Spending time with the man isn’t doing well for her heart, or her confused mind.

“Hey there, haven’t seen you in awhile.” Jeno greets, leaning his elbow on the door frame in an attempt to mimic the male protagonists of every cheesy rom-com to date.

A giggle slips past her, Jeno follows suit not long after and fixes his posture to a more natural one. The door is opened wider to make room for her entrance, and she ducks in under Jeno’s outstretched arm to step foot into the home. The house’s interior is just as simple as it’s outer appearance, yet it still retains a wonderfully comfortable atmosphere with many personal memorabilia hung on the walls and cute trinkets on its shelves and tables. Her eyes darts to the only opened door in her peripheral vision when a ruckus she recognizes as the sound of a drum cymbal echoes through the living room. That must be where NCT rehearses.

“Yukhei told us you might come. I’ve gotta say I’m surprised though, you’ve always avoided him like he was the plague. And now you’re willingly hanging out with him?” Jeno’s voice reels her back to reality.

He closes the door with a click and beckons her deeper into the house as he makes way to the white sofa in the living room. They both sit themselves on it, and Jeno, still adamant on keeping his playboy-wanna-be persona, swings his hand behind her shoulder. She lets him do it, just this once, she knows it’s just harmless fun with him.

“Well...we’ve decided to put our childish acts behind us and become civilized. I mean, it’s bound to happen one day, what with having been stuck with him for nearly a decade now.” She explains.

Jeno raises an unimpressed eyebrow, catching the uncertainty in her tone too easily to know she’s not fully telling the truth.

“Uh huh. You mean your childish acts. I never did understand why you don’t want to talk to him. He’s not that bad of a guy once you get over how unnecessary loud, rambunctious, blunt and clumsy he is.”

No one knows the details of why she kept avoiding Yukhei throughout the years they’ve been neighbors and consistent schoolmates. She had the sneaking suspicion that if she ever decided to confide the reason to anyone, the news will spread somehow and Yukhei would find out. So, she settled for swallowing down her own feelings and hiding it from the world. Not even the sweet smile Jeno is giving her right now can convince her to confess.

“I have my reasons.” Is all she’s willing to offer.

Jeno shrugs, knowing she won’t budge even if he begs.

“So, who else are in NCT? I know you, Yukhei and Jungwoo are in it.” She asks, averting the topic to a more favorable one.

“You know Lee Taeyong over in literature? He plays the keyboard. Renjun from the arts department plays the guitar. I’m on drums. Yukhei plays bass and backing vocals, while Taeil and Jungwoo are the vocals.”

Bass. She doesn’t know Yukhei could play bass. He doesn’t seem like the type to play one, despite the similarity its deep rasp has with his voice.

“Oh? I didn’t think you’d really show up, [Name].” The conversation is cut short by Yukhei, materializing from under the shadows of the practice room’s dim lighting.

Light bathes him as he enters the living room, showcasing him in all his post practice, adrenaline rushed glory. Sweat drips agonizingly slow on his skin, enticing the smooth expanse with a beautiful glow, the t-shirt he dons is an army green, yet parts of it has turned a darker color as his sweat soaked through it, his hair is a mop of wet strands clumped together, and his grin has exhaustion written in the way he stretches his lips. She has never seen him in such a state, yet she finds this sweaty and gross Yukhei so incredibly sexy, she has to clutch onto the fabric of her jeans to contain herself. This sight brings about some unwanted imaginations of him that she is not interested in delving into right now. Especially not with Jeno and Yukhei present. She clears her throat and turns her gaze away to avoid any further thought of him.

“Lemme just go change and we’ll head out.” Yukhei disappears into the flight of stairs without waiting for a response.

“Oh? A date?” Jeno’s question is sung in a light teasing manner.

When she gives no response, he nudges her on the ribs with a giggle that contradicts entirely to the playboy-wanna-be persona he had on previously.

“Shut up. I’m just gonna tutor him.”

“Yeah right honey, nowadays we call it a study date.”

Jeno means no harm, of course. But [Name] can’t allow any kind of hope to kindle within her, especially not concerning Yukhei and the possibility of him reciprocating her feelings. She shakes her head with a small glare, then rise from her seat as she escapes from Jeno and grab herself a water from the kitchen. Fortunately, Yukhei ran down not a minute after she finished her drink, a lot more fresh and clad in a grey hoodie. When the two are about to bid goodbyes, the rest of the band members filed out from the practice room, all looking as disheveled and sweaty as Yukhei was. Short introductions are made then, not as awkward as she had been expecting, fortunately. Yukhei, questionably in a rush, pulls her out the door soon after.

When the door closes in on them, a tense silence hangs in the air. Now, she is alone with Yukhei. Unlike at class, or the cafe, there’s no one else aside from them. The evening is quiet, its street lacking any passing cars or passerbys, almost to conveniently leave her with no distraction or choice but to settle with Yukhei and Yukhei alone. She’s nervous and almost unwilling to let go of the door handle, knowing if she does she will have to face him. But she knows she can’t stay, not unless she wants his suspicion on her back. A deep breath rattles her chest, then she turns so quickly and scurry away from the doorstep and onto the sidewalk, not waiting for Yukhei to follow or say anything.

“I saw a cafe a few blocks from here, it seems like a nice and quiet enough space, so we should head there and study for a couple of hours—“ A warmth that doesn’t belong to hers wraps around her wrist, and this sudden sensation makes her halt in her step and turn.

It all seems surreal and very much like the cliche drama trope she loves to watch, a situation she could never imagine she’d find herself in. Yet, here she is, out of anyone else, with her prince charming. At this moment, with the sunlight’s orange haze casting a halo over Yukhei’s hooded figure, and his hand on hers, time stops, and she can’t blink, too afraid that when she does this moment will fade too quickly before she can bask in it. Yukhei has been able to make her heart leap and jump on so many occasions, but this time, this time she can’t focus on it or how warm and shaky her limbs are. She can only focus on the hand on hers.

“Do you mind if we make a quick detour first?” His voice comes out muffled to her ears the first time he says it, but when she focuses and returns into the moment, Yukhei is closer than she expected him to be.

There is no fear or temptation to cower away from him like she always had before, this time she feels the urge to step closer, to see better the constellations freckled in his face and determine what shade of brown his eyes truly belong in. She shakes herself awake when Yukhei’s face begins to shift into a perplexed one at her lack of answer.

“Sorry, I just—“ She shakes her hand away, suddenly all too aware of the sensations flooding her body and overridden with its intensity, all because of a touch from him.

It must’ve been a trick of the light, the rose colored cheeks of his, for it fades away the second she blinks. Yukhei clears his throat, stuffing the hand that had held hers into his pant pocket.

“No, my bad, I startled you, sorry.” He’s never sounded as awkward as he does right now, an occurrence [Name] thought wouldn’t be possible.

There is no relief from the tension, if anything, Yukhei’s spontaneous action only further spiralled the situation into an awkward one. But since when has he ever let himself be awkward around anyone?

“So, what detour?” She finds herself asking through the unbearable tension that’s surfaced.

The question snaps him back into the Yukhei she recognizes, one second he is flustered, the next he is flashing her a sheepish grin.

“Practice really made me hungry. I was thinking of grabbing some instant noodles at the mini mart down the street, coffee shop food’s terrible for a college student’s wallet, you know?” He responds, escaping the awkward tension.

The request ticks at her nerves, for the darkening skies and the flicker of artificial lights blossoming around them tells her that if they take this detour, they might not have time to study much, or at all. But she can’t ignore the exhaustion Yukhei is carrying with him, or the pleading smile and slow blinking doe eyed look he’s doing. With a reluctant sigh, she nods. The mini mart is just a short ways away from Jungwoo’s residence, it takes about a 5 minute walk to reach there, accompanied with Yukhei’s mindless chattering and her short responses. As they reached the nearly empty mart, he beckons her to take a seat while he buys their food.

“My treat, consider this as payment for what I owed you back in Amyrea.” Says him as he leads her to a seat along the glassed windows.

With a scoff, she says, “Please, Amyrea costs a lot more than just instant noodles and coke.” Which is only replied by a rumbling laughter and a promise to pay back the rest soon.

The heat billowing from the instant noodle fogs the glass windows before her as it arrives with a giddy Yukhei. He digs into the dish with the fervor of a starved animal, unrefined eager slurps pierce the quiet hum of the mart. Yes, Wong Yukhei is definitely no prince charming, and his table manners speaks all about it. The sight both amuse and disgust her, her heart and mind torn between these two feelings like a war in her mind. She doesn’t have the heart to tell him to slow down, not even as the greasy broth of the noodle stains his sleeves and his lips. Who is she to tell him how to live his life or eat his dish? She shuts her lips and digs in to her own. While she is not even halfway through her noodle cup, Yukhei has finished drinking up the last remnant of its broth, ending his meal with a low burp. [Name] resists reacting to the shock crawling up her spine and continue eating. She only reacts when she sees Yukhei take a swig at his drink.

“Soju?” She asks through a mouthful of noodles.

Yukhei responds to her raised eyebrows and worried expression with an innocent grin. He shrugs his shoulder, failing to understand her concern and takes another swig at his soju.

“We’re supposed to be studying after this. Not to mention, you have a morning class tomorrow. One where your group is supposed to be presenting!” She reminds him.

The alarmed hitch in her tone doesn’t faze him. Yukhei is not only irresponsible, crude and lacking in table manners, apparently he is also annoyingly stubborn.

“Stop.” She commands, stern.

She does not look forward to taking care of a drunk Yukhei. He holds the half emptied bottle away from his lips, and she foolishly believed that he’s finally listening to her. The moment is short lived however as he flashes a mischievous grin at her and whisk the bottle back to his lips. Again, there’s that raised eyebrow, challenging her to stop him. Furious and overcharged with spontaneity, [Name] boldly takes hold of the bottle and tugs it away from him. Without letting him recover from the shock, [Name] chugs the remaining soju down in one go, wincing at the sting biting down her throat. She finishes with a loud intake of air and a slam of the bottle, while Yukhei, is rendered speechless and in awe. It’s not a stretch to say that he is very impressed by what she did.

“Gosh, look what you made me do.”

“What I made you do? You’re the one that chugged on my soju!”

“You’re the one that has no regards for your education! Honestly, what are you trying to do, sabotage your group presentation? And since I’m the only responsible one out of the two of us, I had to stop you from intoxicating yourself. I swear if you step out of this chair and buy yourself another bottle I will not hesitate to dump my noodles on your pants.” The rant takes more breath than she predicted, leaving her heaving like a mad woman by the end of it.

Again, Yukhei’s face depicts the awe for her uncharacteristically angered state, and the alien feeling of being stared at in such a light by him draws her back to her calm composure. She wish she could rewind the time and stop herself from getting carried away by her anger. But some parts of her feel pride, of being able to impress her long time crush and render him into silence.

“Yes ma’am.” He surrenders, holding both his hands up.

When they step out of the mini mart this time, there is not much struggle or further delay from Yukhei, in fact, he submits under her stern stare and obediently follow her in silence. It is when they reach a red light that [Name] begins to feel the world sway under her feet. She stops herself and blinks, uncertain if the sudden haze in her vision is a mistake or not. Oh, that’s right. She nearly forgot what a light drinker she is, undoubtedly, she’s now experiencing the aftermath of her spontaneously stupid decision. Damn you, [Name].

“Hey, why did we stop?” His concerned face pops into her blurring vision.

“Um, no reason.”

She tugs at his hoodie’s sleeve and beckons him to move along and cross the street. However, a crack in the pavement her woozy mind fails to spot causes her to nearly tumble into a heap of mess, fortunately, Yukhei’s eyes has been stuck to her like glue since she’s acted suspiciously tipsy, and so before she can hit the ground, he catches her in his arms. If she is sober, perhaps she’d have the time to feel embarrassed and flustered with the way he’s holding on to her right now. But as her mind falls deeper into the realm of intoxication, she couldn’t care less.

“Whoa, whoa, there. Maybe warn me next time if you’re such a light drinker?” Yukhei chuckles at the disoriented and unfocused lilt in her expression, a contrast to how composed and assured she had always been.

He snakes an arm around her waist, hoisting her up before letting her lean on to him for support. Due to her smaller frame, it’s not difficult for him to stagger through the crowd of passersby and lead them safely to the other side.

“I’m f-fine.” She stammers.

The sight of her so vulnerable in his arms, so candid and real unlike he’s ever seen her before, it stirs and brew a fluttering fondness within him. He smiles down at her, soft, but amused, and she’s too busy attempting to get back on her feet to notice.

“And you said you’re the responsible one? Let’s just sit you down for a bit.” Yukhei pushes her slowly to a nearby bench and slowly settles her down.

“Well, there goes our tutoring session for today. I guess it’s kind of my fault though.” He chuckles to himself as he sits next to her.

“I really want to curse at you right now. And my flats are squishing my little toe.” She says whilst wiggling her feet out from her shoes.

The confession startles him, not for its meaning, but for how easily the truth spills from her in this intoxicated state. Apparently, [Name] is not only a light drinker, but one inclined to tell the truth without any second thought of the possible repercussions of it. A part of him feels guilty, listening in on her as she rambles about her random thoughts. Yet the amusement and rarity of this entire situation wins over his guilt.

“Why?” The question is asked after a complaint over his ‘stubborn stone like head’.

Yukhei spares a glance at her, bothered by the lack of elaboration she gives.

“Why what?” He prods.

The question makes her entire form deflate, a crestfallen look immediately taking over her features. Yukhei scoots himself closer out of worry for the sudden change in demeanor.

“Why are you so different?”

Though he had hoped for an elaboration, the question still remains vague. He shouldn’t feel tempted with gouging more of the truth from her. At this state, it’s almost like he’s taking advantage of her. But now, knowing she has something to say about him, Yukhei has to listen.

“Different how?” He asks.

“Why are you so rude and ungentlemanly and blunt and such a slob? I thought when I finally got the chance to talk to you I’d have all my expectations met. Instead, you commented on my lipstick and my zit, then you drooled on my pen and didn’t even think twice to pay for me in Amyrea. W-Why aren’t you like the chivalrous boy I saw save Kim Jennie back in elementary? The one who stood up to Mrs. Choi when it was your partner who had lost the group project? Why aren’t you like that guy who came to my rescue in middle school? Why are you...this?”

The night wind blows strong and cold against them, when its ferocity fades into a gentle breeze once more, he sees the anger she had asked the question with simmer into devastation and confusion. She’s looking at him, but not in a way that is pleasant. Yukhei, again, finds himself speechless before her. For years, he has always believed that [Name] wanted nothing to do with him, she absolutely hated his guts, it’s the only reasonable explanation to her years of avoidance. The reason however, has always remained a mystery to him. Yet if she hates him so much, then how can she notice all those things about him? Is he wrong to assume that she hates her?

“I—“ He doesn’t know what to say, truly, tongue tied and thoughts halted. Even the disbelief of the knowledge that she noticed him is difficult to form into words.

“I didn’t save Jennie or came to your rescue.” He replies, after a pregnant silence too long for either of them to bare.

The answer is simple, yet [Name] has a hard time believing and processing it.

“I punched Woojin not because of Jennie. I did it because he broke my toy that I was showing off to her. It was from my favorite anime, and it cost a lot. So I punched Woojin because I was angry, I wasn’t really thinking straight at that time.”

The memory comes in waves, of a furious Yukhei, a wounded and fearful Woojin, and an equally shaken Jennie. Had the rumors floating around the incident been wrong?

“And for that project thing? Well, I only took the blame because Taeyong said he’d do my homework for an entire month if I did.”

No, that can’t be right. Yukhei has a heart of gold that beats for kindness and care for the people around him. Is he saying he only agreed to take the blame because it benefits him?

“The binder and milk bread in middle school, they weren’t from me. Jungwoo came up to me during lunch asking for a favor, he told me you’d been swamped with student council work and couldn’t focus well for midterms, so he asked me to give to you his older brother’s old notes and some milk bread from the cafeteria.”

Reality comes crashing down, like shards of glass it rains and leaves shallow cuts on her skin, but the longer she stands the deeper the cut gets, until it pierces right into her veins and she can feel nothing but the aching pain. The fear that has been dancing around in her mind materialized right before her, in the baffled and concerned expression of Yukhei. All these years, the feelings she had for him has been nothing more than a fantasy she forced herself into seeing, a stupid big fat lie she made up all on her own. There has never been any other moment in her life, where the feeling of embarrassment can compare to this very moment. She doesn’t care if Yukhei notices the blush on her face this time, hell, she can’t care less about him or what he thinks as of now. The only thing she can think of is how amazingly stupid she has been to fall into a trick her own mind made up. What the hell is wrong with her? She made Yukhei upset over all these years and wasted her time pining over nothing.

“[Name]?” She barely hears him over her ringing thoughts.

“Hey, look at me, please.” He pleads, panic slowly overcoming him at her blank expression.

“What about the cats you used to feed at lunch? Or the time you volunteered for clean up duty when no one wanted to? W-Was that all also a lie?” She doesn’t care how fragile and shaky she sounds at the moment, how teared up she’s gotten or how Yukhei notices.

“I-I feed the cats the food that I didn't like so my mom wouldn’t get mad when she checks my lunch box. And that volunteer work..I was dared to accept.”

So, this is what heartbreak feels like. The hollow ache in her chest and the numbing of her limbs. She would’ve thought that her heartbreak would come over a rejection. But no, there is only her to blame for her state this time.

“Oh.” She folds her arms around her, wanting to surrender to the temptation to curl up into a ball.

“I don’t understand, [Name]. I-I thought you hated me, but you’ve noticed me all these years?” Yukhei treads his question carefully, not keen on further pushing on her sensitive state.

“Of course I noticed. I like you, Yukhei. Or rather, the fantasies that my mind made up of you. You’re supposed to be my prince charming. But somehow…” She doesn’t have the strength to finish, feeling a shiver rack from within her bones and to her weakening limbs.

Yukhei can’t wrap his mind around that one word. I like you. Words he’d never thought he could ever hear come out from his adjacent neighbor and long time schoolmate.

She likes me? She’s been avoiding me because she likes me?

[Name] manages to rise to her feet despite the wobble in her knees and the glazed over expression she wears. Yukhei stands beside her and opens his arms, cautious in case she topples over like before. But she pushes his arms down and shakes her head, though feeling sick to her stomach and unsure of her capability to walk she doesn’t want him anywhere close to her. She just wants to sleep and cry to herself.

“Take me home.” She pleads, weak and close to tears.

Yukhei frowns, but doesn’t bother arguing. He steps away, giving her room for her to walk as they head out to the train station, a significant distance between them, though in reality it’s only mere centimeters, he can’t help but feel like she’s oceans away from him. The ride home has got to be the most awkward situation Yukhei has ever gotten himself into. And he doesn’t like it, feeling useless while [Name] is in dire need of comfort. But he can’t, not him, not unless he wants to risk upsetting her further and breaking the dam of collecting tears he can see her fighting back. Why couldn’t he just lie? Why is he such a screw up? Now, she really hates him.

As they reach her dorm room, a helpless Yukhei attempts one last time to say something, anything, to her. But the door is shut in his face before he can, leaving him alone in the hallway with just the memory of her pained expression to accompany him on his way to his own dorm.

Yukhei swears he would never drink alcohol again after at that night.

“She likes you?”

The notion should have made any male’s heart race in glee. But with the way things are between Yukhei and her, he can only feel it ache as his heart drums its mellow beat.

“You don’t seem all that happy for a guy whose long time crush just confessed herself to.” Jungwoo deducts, narrowing his eyes at his lifeless looking friend.

“That’s because she doesn’t like me me. All these years, she’s been watching me, she noticed me, and she made up this whole image of myself that I’m actually not. Jungwoo, honestly, why would she like me anyways? The real me? This image she made up of me was like I’m some kind of perfect prince charming, and I don’t blame her for falling for it. I just wished I hadn’t disappointed her so much with who I really am.”

Jungwoo has never seen Yukhei’s lips hold its frowning position for this long before. The playful sparkle in his eyes as if it never existed, and the restless energy that would usually make his knees bounce every time he sits is now very much still like a statue. This is unnatural, and so very wrong it pains him to look at his friend and not recognize who he is.

“And she’s not my crush. I’ve just always been interested in her, I wanted to get to know her and stuff like that. So, yeah, it really hurt when I thought she doesn’t want anything to do with me.” He adds on hesitantly.

The raised eyebrow and unamused expression Jungwoo wears tells him that he’s not convincing anyone. A long sigh is pulled out of him, one of weariness and melancholy.

“Well, how was she when you came back to class the next morning?”

Yukhei winces at the memory.

“She changed seats, can you believe that? The seat she had been sitting on for an entire year and the one that made her talk to me. All to avoid me. She doesn’t look up at me when I present in front of the class, she ignores me when I come up to her. Jungwoo, it’s like she hates me all over again, only this time for real.”

Silence encases the room, one that allows Jungwoo time to think of a way to save his friend and for Yukhei to bask in the sadness he’s getting himself used to feeling.

“Yukhei, if this bothers you so much, then just make her like you,” He spares an unimpressed glance to his friend, “I mean, you you.” The reality that Jungwoo—one of the smartest people he knows—is deliberately butchering proper grammar just to appease him tickles a small dry laugh.

“Look,” He shifts in his position to face Yukhei better, “You’re not prince charming, and you’ll never be one. But that doesn’t mean you’re not a good guy. Yes, you’re not the most chivalrous or well mannered, but you don’t have to be one to make her like you. In a way, her fantasies are not that far off from who you really are. Yes, you didn’t completely punch Woojin for Jennie, but you did save the poor girl and other students from further torment from him. Yes, you only fed those kittens because it’s convenient for you, but you didn’t have to spend your time playing and taking care of them. And yes, maybe that binder and milk bread wasn’t from you, but you wanted to give it to her.”

A flicker of hope lights up in his heart, giving it a jolt out of its dull and mellow stupor. Slowly, Yukhei’s eyes flicker back with its familiar warmth, a slow yet sure change.

“You think so?”

Jungwoo nods.

“You just need to talk to her.”

Once more, the fire in his expression is put out, and in its place is dejection.

“It’s no use, she doesn’t even want to look at me. How do I get her to listen?” He tugs at his scalp in frustration, his frown deepening the longer he thinks of their predicament.

“I have an idea.”

Yukhei is far too hopeless to reject said idea.

The first time the thunk rattles her glass window, she convinces herself it’s just her imagination. When another one follows, [Name] forces herself to shut her eyes and ignore it, paranoia for a possible paranormal activity lurking somewhere in her dorm surfacing. The third time, it is followed by the call of her name. She opens her eyes, wondering why the voice calling for her sounds so familiar. Now certain that it is not a ghost coming after her, she steps out of bed and makes way to her window. A groan escapes her when she sees the visible scratches in her glass window, no doubt from whoever it is throwing stones at it. Another one hits, and before the glass breaks, she shoves open her window and pokes her head out with a scowl.

“Okay, if you keep throwing stones at my window I swear—“ Her breath stops when she spots Yukhei, standing on the lawn of her dorm’s building.

His actions halts abruptly in mid throw, caught in the eyes that he’s missed looking at—dramatic he knows, it’s only been a week. Unknowingly, his lips move on their own as they stretch into a smile, one he hasn’t worn since they last spoke. [Name] can’t understand why her heart still flips as she witness the blossoming of his relief and joy. Her grip on the window tightens, and she makes a move to close it.

“Whoa, w-wait, wait, wait!” Yukhei’s rare showcase of desperation is the only reason she heeds to his request.

“What do you want?” There is no hostility in her tone, just a soft spoken weariness he almost didn’t catch.

“I’m so sorry, [Name].” He cuts straight to the point.

This is not what she is expecting. What catches her off guard is the sincerity in which he says it, as if he is guilty of an unforgivable crime and has been suffering greatly for it. Why is he apologizing? He hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s not as if she’s avoiding him because she hates him. Gosh, if she could hate him things would be so much easier. Rather, she can’t stand to look at him or be with him because he keeps bringing back the anger and shame she has for herself.

“I know I’m not the prince charming you want, and I don’t think I can ever be one. I’m just, me. And I’m sorry that I couldn’t be more. Yes it’s true that I didn’t save Jennie because I’m chivalrous, or gave that binder and milk bread for you because I’m attentive, or any other things I’ve seemingly done out of good will. I’m tactless and ignorant and an oaf and—”

“Please cut to the chase.” She interrupts, finding herself mildly amused by the way he describes himself.

He nods, wetting his lips as he can feel his throat drying at the force of his yelling.

“What I’m trying to say is that I like you.”

She never thought that she could ever hate the sound of those three words, I like you, as much as she does now. It’s pity, or guilt, she knows he’s only saying this because he is forced to, otherwise, the guilt will haunt him for the rest of his college years.

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I do. Look, you got to do all the talking that night when you were drunk, now I need you to listen.” He insists.

Her silence and lack of motion gets him to continue. There is no stopping the joy and expectancy from sparking within her at Yukhei’s determined expression and earnest words. She just hope he won’t let her down this time.

“[Name], I—“ The screech of a door opening interrupts the moment.

“Hey, Yukhei.” Moon Taeil’s sleepy voice can be heard all the way from her third floor dorm.

She groans loud, knowing that if anyone out there has such knack for interrupting at the perfect timing, it’s her RA. Who also happens to be in the same band as Yukhei.

“Oh, hi hyung.” He doesn’t hide his displease for the interruption as he sneers.

“Do you know what time it is, Romeo?”

Yukhei takes a moment to check on his wrist, devoid of any watch, then shrugs his shoulders and flashes a sarcastic expression that nearly made her laugh out loud.

“I’m glad that you’ve finally got the guts to confess to your childhood crush, but seriously, not at the expense of all our sleep. It’s 12 AM for god’s sake!” Taeil’s exasperated outburst is followed by another creak of the door, “Just get in there and finish your business, okay, I frankly don’t care.” Yukhei disappears from her sight before she can speak.

[Name] can feel her heart somersaulting inside her chest, a sensation that makes a stark difference compared to the heavy beat it’s been treading on all week. Did she heard Taeil wrong, or had he just refer to her as Yukhei’s childhood crush? No, that can’t be right. Taeil’s probably just assuming things, things which can’t be farther from the truth. Then why didn’t Yukhei deny it and eagerly bound himself up the stairs? Oh crap, he’s actually coming here, to her dorm. At a time where she’s nowhere near presentable in her pajama-clad-bare-faced state. What if he backtracks and regrets confessing to her once he sees her now? She has no time to think when a knock at the door cuts through the room. Defeated and frankly too lazy to doll herself up, [Name] trudges to her doorstep and opens them.

A single red rose presents itself before her eyes, its petals slightly curled and darkened around the edges, his long fingers curls around the thorns still visibly poking out from its stem, and she notices the tendrils of roots poking out from its end. The rose and anxious tapping of his soil covered shoes tells her that he’s picked the flower from the campus’ garden on his own, which is a sentiment that arises a fondness towards him unlike she’s ever felt. How cute.

“I’ve always held interest for the little girl who would only show herself from the second floor window across my home. I’ve always wanted to get to know her. But when she kept ignoring and making up excuses to not see me, I figured it was a hint to take a hike and leave her alone.” His grip tightens onto the rose stem, digging the thorns further into his skin.

Concerned for the redness seeping across his palm, [Name] widens her door, “Yuk—“

“No, no, just, please listen to me.” She does.

“So I stayed out of her way because I didn’t want to upset her. But somehow, I always find my way back to her, through elementary school and even up till college. Then, after years and years, she finally came up and talked to me. I thought I was dreaming, honestly.” His laughter is one of genuine happiness when he finishes, recollecting that fateful day where they finally spoke to each other.

“So, I believed that it meant she had finally stopped hating me, you know? And I—well, if I have to be honest, I really don’t know how to talk or act properly around girls. But, can you really blame me? The only girl I want to get to know has been avoiding me for years. ” The rose in his hand is lowered back to his side, showcasing her the beautiful face she’s come to love.

“She has always been shy though, soft spoken and kind hearted. When she acted so cold towards me, well, I kept poking and prodding at her so that I can see the real girl behind that mask of indifference. But somehow I went poking too deep and ended up...ruining things for us..” His voice falters, nearly getting choked up at the end when his eyes dare to meet hers.

No, he didn’t ruin anything for them. It’s her to blame, her fantasies and her crazy expectations for a guy whom she didn’t try to take the time to know. She wants to say this to him, to assure him, but the plea he had asked of her rings in her mind: listen. So she remains silent.

“You’re right, I’m not prince charming. I don’t go out and save damsels or hungry animals in distress, I’m not attentive or rich enough to buy you fancy chocolates whenever you’re down, I have poor table manners and I drool when I sleep. But if there’s one thing I know for certain is that I’m not a bad guy. [Name], I really want to get to know you, to be there with you, even though my constant annoying ass and teasing doesn’t really show it, I do. If anything, annoying you was sort of my way of trying to get to know you. A-And, I care for you, I don’t like seeing you sad or angry, especially because of me, I can’t get the image of you crying out of my head even though it’s been days. I can’t get the thought of your eyes not meeting mine anymore because I’ve become so comfortable with it. I can’t accept the situation we’re both in because, I finally have you, and now we’re back to as if we’ve never met. [Name], I—“

Of all the things she thought he could do at that moment, Yukhei gets down to one knee and holds out the rose to her with the brightest grin he’s ever offered. To think, that a man so far away from the description of a prince charming can completely master the classic rom-com drama trope, and did it not just once, but twice. With such a heart wrenching confession too, one she’d honestly never expect from Yukhei. How is he so unfair? Though he lacks the eloquence of poets, the stuttered confession has managed to bathe her entire body in a wonderful wholeness of feeling loved. Yes, maybe he hasn’t been the perfect image of a prince charming, but honestly, does a guy like that even exist? He’s not perfect, not at all any of the things she believed he was, nor will he ever be. He’s just Wong Yukhei, and maybe, maybe he’s not so bad after all. Maybe, all he needs is a chance.

At that very moment, looking at him, so earnest and hopeful, all the bitterness and anger and shame that’s been shadowing her morphed itself into an overwhelming fondness that draws out a genuine smile on her face.

“I’m not a prince charming, I’ll admit to that. But if you give me a chance, I want to be one for you.”

It’s unfair, how easily he can make her feel one thing after another without much effort. But she doesn’t mind, not this time, not when her 8 year old dreams she believed had crashed and burned has come rising back from the ashes and fall perfectly into order right before her. No, not even in her most wonderful of dreams could she come up with such details in this situation.

“Um, [Name]? Please answer me, because my thighs are starting to hurt and I don’t want to have to repeat all that again. Not that I’m lying about any of that! Just that it’s a mouthful and really spontaneous so I can’t really remember what I just said—“

The rose is plucked away from his grip, his voice lost amidst watching her reaction. Slowly, she brings the red petals to her smiling lips, a liveliness dancing in her eyes and swaying body. Yukhei stands back up on his feet, completely enchanted with how soft she looks before him, but most of all, how happy. He relish in the knowledge of giving her that sliver of joy back, her infectious smile drawing one from him as well. In that moment, neither Yukhei or [Name] can pay attention to the thundering of their hearts or the lightning coursing through their veins. All they can see is the smile on each other’s faces.

“You should’ve cleaned the thorns, idiot.” The reprimanding lacks its stern, instead replaced with a breathy and dream like tune due to the breathless state she is in.

Yukhei shrugs, only half listening to her words as he is instead focused on the way her lips move. The same one his eyes are drawn to on their first day of class, one he deliberately commented on its uneven appliance of lipstick. He never told her that he lied, simply wanting an excuse to stare at them longer. Will she be angry if he succumbs to his wish to kiss her? Prince charmings are known to kiss their princesses right?

“And you know what? Maybe prince charming is kind of medieval anyways. I mean, you don’t have to be one. They’re too...stiff and stuffy and—“ A soft touch to her lips cuts her before she can finish, too quickly, the tender and short sensation overrides her entire system, leaving her frozen.

Yukhei pulls back, an innocent grin splitting his blushing cheeks. She can’t focus, can’t think of the words she was about to say because all she can think of is: he kissed her. Her prince charming had got down to one knee before her doorstep, poured out his heart to her, and kissed her all in the span of 5 minutes. Is this what all those princesses feel when their prince kisses them? The floating and unreal sensation she doesn’t want to stop feeling?

Unable to withstand the glazed over shock in which her eyes stays locked on him, Yukhei ducks his head, still smiling unbelievably wide.

“Sorry, I just had to...you know.”

Wong Yukhei isn’t prince charming, she decides. Nor is he sweet like the first taste of dreams. He is, above all, like a clap of lightning. With a force enough to break the night sky. When the thunder rolls, so does every fiber in her being. And she loves it.

#nct #nct scenarios #nct scenario #yukhei #yukhei scenarios #nct fluff #nct angst #wong yukhei #yukhei fluff #yukhei angst #lucas scenarios #lucas fluff #lucas angst #nct u #gyuwrites #lucas #nct lucas

210 notes · View notes