#can someone plz remind me how to reply to a comment in a post

[marveldc-imagines-hub]

I went to do Pride Month Things and then got a really shitty cold that I'm still recovering from because I stood in the rain and yelled a lot lol

Guys I have like seven WIPs now, someone please stop me

[lightsandlostbells]

Druck season 2, episode 5 reaction

Sorry this is late! You can blame it partly on the ~polar vortex~ and partly on fatigue. 

anyway, who’s ready to solve the great mystery of the ages, Whose Dick Is That

Episode 5

Clip 1 - Hotel Hardenberg

The doorbell is ringing. Mia wakes up in utter contentment, love that little shot of her foot stirring. The apartment seems to have been tidied up and Alexander’s bed on the floor put away.

Alexander has left her Post-Its as a parting gesture, there’s one on her phone with a heart. Charming move! He comments that she snores. Also charming from a certain perspective (that perspective is Mia is adorable). His other Post-Its in the apartment indicate that he’s made her rosehip tea and thank her for staying at Hotel Hardenberg, what a dork. 

Mia gets up to go but then strips the bed. A sign of her compulsive neatness and need for order, especially after that order has been broken by staying at Alexander’s? Or just her wanting to be a thoughtful house guest? Or her wanting to erase the evidence of her presence? All three?

On the way out the door, Mia runs into Björn, who describes himself as a friend of Alex. So, probably not his brother. He’d tell her if he were his brother, right? Saying “I’m Alex’s brother” seems more trustworthy for most people than “I’m Alex’s friend.” And he gave his real name, we know that Alex is referring to a Björn in his text messages with Sam, so Björn can’t have been worried about Alex telling Mia about him and Mia knowing who he is.

Björn says he’s here to get something. I sure bet Alex doesn’t know about that! Something shady is happening! He asks her name and Mia gives it to him. Ohhh, dear girl, you don’t know it but that was probably not a good move. (The biggest plot twist would be if Björn was some totally harmless guy that Alexander had wronged, so Björn was trying to avoid him at all costs and Alexander was trying to find him and apologize.) (I 100% do not believe that is the case but damn it would be a trip.)

The clip started with the doorbell ringing so that must have been Björn. Was he trying to see if Alex was home so he could sneak in while the place was empty? Because evidently Björn got into the building fine, and usually there’s better security in those places, and he’s the one who opens the apartment door, not Mia, so he must have had a key. My guess is that Björn is like the sister’s boyfriend/ex/friend who would have had access to the apartment before Alex moved in.

Alexander sent her a text that he’s in London, doing business/real estate stuff for a few days. #ishereallythatrich - Heh, but what are the odds he’s doing something else?

So I bet that’ll come back eventually, that Mia saw Björn entering the apartment, and she didn’t tell Alex right away. But damn, imagine if Mia hadn’t woken up with the doorbell and Björn walked in on her while she was sleeping. Or if she hadn’t left yet and caught him rummaging around through Alexander’s shit.

Clip 2 - Linn the apartment ghost

One week later due to the hiatus, Mia and Alex are texting. When he asks her how she’s doing, she starts to type out a friendly reply but then stops herself, but unfortunately Alex can see when she’s typing

He asks her to go out for a drink, she says she has to study. They have some “banter” and I know they are flirting but it just makes me tired that part of their dynamic is “I won’t go out with you” followed by “Are you sure?” It’s an issue that extends beyond Winterberg, Noorhelm, or any other version of this pairing - men are socialized not to take no for an answer from women, and it’s too prevalent in real life to really get over it in fiction. Like this texting could’ve been about anything else, more banter about them snoring (Mia says he also snores) or her playing the piano or his Post-Its or literally anything other that this no-yes-no dynamic. 

It’s exacerbated because it is a case of “Well, she doesn’t really mean no, she does actually like him.” Mia almost seems disappointed when Alex stops texting back. And again, one of my big problems with how Noorhelm and all its equivalents have been portrayed is that we don’t need more stories where a girl keeps saying no when it turns out she kind of means yes. You can’t separate this individual story from the larger cultural trend. 

LMAO, Linn announces her presence by loudly slurping on a drink behind Mia  She just wanted to see what’s up with Mia and has been standing there a while. This moment is played for laughs but I think it’s also meant to be a reminder that hey, Mia and Alex aren’t in their own little bubble, other people exist and are eventually going to find out that something’s happening with them. It’s almost like Mia has been caught. 

New shot during the end titles of Mia in a hoodie looking dramatic. So far we haven’t seen any of these little end scenes in action. Are these just for promo? I think it’s more likely that they’ll happen in a later episode, I just find it interesting that none of them have taken place yet.

Clip 3 - Dicks in the air

Photocopies of boobs and blurred out dick drift by like tumbleweeds with nipples as Mia heads into the school. A girl hands her a boob picture for some reason, as if Mia needed one for personal use.

When she steps into the school, there’s boobs and ass and dick and the middle finger everywhere. We can hear a literal buzz as people observe. Accompanied is graffiti that says Abi Chaker Clan 2019 - 12 Years Family! Lmao, is that a teacher frantically trying to gather up copies on the stairs? You try your hardest, sister.

Kiki steps up and observes, takes a picture of the display. Where have you been, Kiki? Last we saw you, you were breaking Carlos’ heart.

Kiki thinks she recognizes Alex’s penis in the pictures, and Mia is like “get that picture out of my face plz.” Kiki hands it to Mia as she walks away, and Mia can’t resist a glimpse of the dick, which is blurred out for us viewers, by the way. I’m just laughing at the thought of Kiki the dick detective solving this whodunnit. Remember on New Year’s where Mia was kinda “???” about Kiki’s future profession and ended up with influencer? I would say Kiki’s true calling is solving phallic-related crimes and picking dicks out of a lineup except, as we learn later in the episode, she ain’t that great at it after all.

Hanna shows up in an echo of Kiki’s entrance and is like, WTF, we’re in trouble. They see Alexander and Jonas hugging it out in the distance and are like, when did they become friends? So I’m guessing this graduation prank is taking the place of the Yakuza fight, and it’s Alex and Jonas who have the suspicious friendship rather than P-Chris and Isak. I APPROVE. The Yakuza thing has always been out of place IMO, tonally, and I didn’t like how the fight ended up leading to excuses against William smashing a bottle on a dude’s head. This prank is something that’s serious but not so serious that I’d consider it a red flag/dealbreaker against Alexander. It’s also a lot closer to Mia personally, and affects her and basically all the characters - the Yakuza thing felt weirdly disconnected from Noora and the girl squad, only something that involved them because they happened to witness that one fight and some of their friends/boyfriends were involved. 

It’s also a replacement for the Penetrators trashing the cabin, and I fully realize that this is hypocritical but I also prefer this somehow even though it’s functionally the same thing, destruction of property. Maybe because again, it’s more connected to the rest of the characters as a plot point.

There’s this rather extravagant shot of someone throwing a bunch of the copies over the banister and they float down around Mia, just a ton of boobs and butts and dick wafting like snowflakes, and it’s so ridiculous that I love it.

Clip 4 - Mia keeps some interesting things in her bag

Leonie’s leading a meeting, again. This time it looks like more of the graduating class, not just the committee. She explains that somebody, probably several people, broke into the school Saturday night and made copies of their …. She trails off and Carlos helpfully supplies the displayed body parts with anatomical precision.

Someone give Leonie’s actress an award for that brief look of disdain at Carlos after he says “You’re welcome” and before she turns away. 

Because someone sprayed the Abi Motto on the wall, the school thinks someone from our year did it. Carlos and Jonas call it bullshit, fake news. Just as an aside, I’ve seen the term “fake news” pop up as a joke in SO many films and TV shows recently, including that Kurt Russell sexy Santa movie, and like ... I certainly understand why and I’m not opposed to “ironic” usage, I’m also just aghast that we’re at a point where it’s mainstream, you know? 2019, man.

Anyway, one of the new and expensive copy machines broke from the prank and “copy orgy”. Sam whispers to Amira that they didn’t just make copies - so was there a literal orgy on the copy machine? Or just the weight of people’s asses broke the machine? 

Kiki says she thinks it was Alexander, and I thought it was extremely fishy for Kiki to be so quick to blame Alexander, and that maybe she was involved in the prank or even trying to frame him, but obviously that turned out to not be the case. So I think she just wanted him to be guilty so he could get in trouble. And she’s telling Mia, who she thinks will be an ally in blaming Alex.

So now they owe 4500 euros to the school. Either who did it owns up and settles it with their insurance, or the school takes it out of the Abi account. Leonie gives the culprits a chance to reveal themselves. Man, what if Leonie was involved? The perfect crime, the least likely suspect…

Alex smiles over at Mia but that expression fades, Sara waggles some xeroxed breasts at him and he smirks. So those are her boobs, right? She seems pretty proud.

No one confesses to the crime, so Leonie says they have to raise the money again, thanks for nothing. Lmao, Leonie is such a hall monitor type that she’s really growing on me.

There’s some tense music as Mia is exiting the room, and of course Alexander is waiting for her. She walks right by him, to the door. On second thought, she turns around, pretends to rummage in her bag (we see she still has the dick pic so I guess the possibility that it’s Alexander’s is enough for her to keep it around) and then pulls out what she was looking for - a middle finger. That’s so petty, I’m in love with her. She goes out the door and Alexander does not seem pleased.

I mean, to be fair to him, Mia did jump to conclusions right away. (Conclusions that happened to be right, although not about the dick pic.) And I think this was in a way about re-establishing the natural order of things, getting back to “Alexander’s a selfish asshole” territory rather than her liking him, in addition to the whole class being punished. To be fair to her, too ... it’s only recently that he’s shown some decency, and he has a history of doing crappy things. 

Alex was texting Mia on Saturday, though, right? About wanting to go out and get a drink with friends? So maybe that will be used to exonerate him, he was busy with other people. (EDIT from the future: Lol, nah, his “drink with friends” turned into the prank, I guess.)

Clip 5 - Team Michi

Mia has handed over the dick pic to Hans for his opinion, I guess? Hans seems to be a penis connoisseur so I understand the sentiment. And his opinion is that it was a “heavy petting orgy” at least. He asks Michi for his opinion. Good, Michi is there! I think it’s nice if Hans is getting a little romance of his own, although he better be treating Michi right and not taking him for granted.

Hans teases Mia about why she wants to know so badly about what happened at the school on Saturday night, and if she isn’t a bit jealous. She says curiosity isn’t the same as jealousy. Sure, but the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

Mia goes to ask Linn for her opinion (Linn is sleeping already) and Michi feeds Hans. They have a little couple moment. Aww. HANS, TREAT MICHI RIGHT. He’s cute and he makes food for you. 

I’m wondering if the whole Hans/Michi thing is going to be a parallel to Mia and Alex, where a relationship that didn’t seem feasible at first becomes something real, and maybe they’ll have some relationship difficulty when Mia and Alex do. Though in the beginning of the season Hans and Michi seemed to parallel Alex and Kiki quite clearly, or at least Mia was making that connection, so who knows.

Clip 6 - Always look before crossing

Mia is leaving for school in the morning, and who should be there but Alex with two drinks in his hands. Rosehip tea or cocoa if he’s feeling sentimental. 

We don’t hear what he’s saying because Mia has her earbuds in, so it’s just the faintest sound of his voice over the music. She ignores him and goes to unlock her bike, he keeps talking, she points to her earbuds to indicate that she’s not listening. We see him mouth “please” and she finally takes out her earbuds and accepts the drink. Which I would too, because I’m shameless and thirsty and I wouldn’t turn down a free warm beverage in the morning.

There’s a little editing blip because in the clip, the music doesn’t cut out right as she takes out the earbuds, it’s a moment or two later when she puts them in her pockets. They fixed it in the full episode, though, and it cuts out when she takes out the earbuds.

Alex clearly sees Mia taking the drink as a victory and smiles. They walk along side by side by a moment until Mia calls him out for being spoiled and doing whatever he wants and not owning up to it. He says they were drunk. Wait, so he DID do it???? And he says she’s blowing it way out of proportion?? I’m surprised because I thought we’d learn that Alex didn’t do it after all. It seemed too obvious, Kiki was so eager to blame him that it seemed like a misdirect. And I mean, I don’t think it’s right that he and the others are making the entire graduating class reap the consequences, but I don’t think the prank is an unforgivable thing he did in itself. 

They argue a little and she’s about to bike across the road when Alex grabs her and pulls her back just as a car goes by, honking. She’s like … this doesn’t change anything. Alex is like, well it kinda does. “I saved your life, Mia Winter!” Well, she was distracted by him in the first place, so consider it even? (I binge-watched Russian Doll on Netflix this weekend so I can’t help but think this moment could have taken a drastically different turn.)

Mia bikes away but is smiling, which is awfully chipper for someone who just had a brush with death. I would be in the fetal position the rest of the day.

Alex stares after her and walks in the other direction. Errr … away from the school? I assume he was going back to his car, parked closer to Mia’s place.

So that mystery was done solved pretty quickly and anti-climatically. Kinda disappointing because I think it’d be fun to drag it out just a teensy tiny bit more - the mystery element of Skam is something that’s really underrated, when you think about it, even though it’s a large part of what kept people watching in real time.

Clip 7 - Sam just drops a bomb

We get a closeup of Sam blowing a bubble with her gum and then popping it. Like how she’s about to burst that bubble about Mia and Alex? 

The girls are discussing the prank and that Alexander was in on it. Kiki is like, I knew it. Damn, she really wants him to go down. I don’t blame her, though.

When Amira asks how Mia knows, Sam says Alexander probably told her. WHOA HOLD THE PHONE. Druck is throwing curveballs everywhere this episode. I did not expect to see Sam reveal this information so quickly and casually; I thought she’d save it for a more dramatic moment later on, after Mia and Alex definitely were a thing. Sam says Mia is always talking to him, and Mia rushes to explain that it was all because of Kiki (lies) and she told him what she thought of him (well, that part is true) and that Leonie told her about Alexander (another lie - not looking good for Mia).

All the girls get a text at the same time. Sam says her battery sucks so we conveniently get Hanna reading the text out loud for us viewers. Alexander has arranged a benefit concert to make up for the damage so no one has to pay extra. BOY SAM WILL BE PERFORMING, and there will be a surprise musical act, too. I’m just glad to see the toilet man again. 

The girls are excited and Hanna’s like, TIME TO STOP STUDYING. I don’t think she needs much of an excuse, really.

Alex texts Mia to say if she doesn’t come tomorrow, he’ll cancel everything 😊 GODDAMMIT. I realize Alexander is supposed to be a dickhead, but do we really have to keep this manipulative crap? Can he not just be like … arrogant and jerkish without that element?

Kiki looks at Mia getting another text, and you can see the suspicion all over her face. Sam’s comment struck a match.

Clip 8 - Mia crosses that bridge, y’all

I love when we get a long-ass Friday clip, thanks, Druck!

Mia shows up to the benefit concert by herself, and Toilet Sam is rapping onstage. Hello again! She runs into Kiki and says she’ll join the group in a minute. Does she need to talk to Alexander first?

We see Mia putting on that bright red lipstick in the mirror. I am sure she’s doing it just because she likes the color and not because there are any Alexander-related motivations that she would never admit.

Mia notices Alex skulking across the club and staring at her like some kind of Edward Cullen wannabe. It’s only episode 5, I guess they still have time to pull off a sudden vampire twist. (And I mean ... Alexander did just pull Mia out of the path of a car ... a Twilight parallel if I ever saw one.)

Of course Alex sends her a text telling her she looks gorgeous. It looks like he wants her to drink with him; however, Sarah comes up to him and gives him a hug and kisses him on the cheek and talks to him. He doesn’t look very enthused, but Mia smirks and shakes her head at him. That Alexander, up to his old tricks! Between that and the copy orgy I’m sure she’s thinking Alexander and Sarah have a thing.

People dance and drink to Toilet Sam’s performance. We see Jonas getting really wasted, and Matteo seems kinda done with it, so it’s Hanna who pulls drunk Jonas off the dance floor, and he tries to kiss her. MY HEART. But she pushes him back and asks what’s up with him. He says, you’re what’s up with me. THE ANGST. I said this last season, but Anselm Bresgott is a great actor. He’s able to convey a lot of vulnerability with his eyes. 

When this happened I thought that maybe instead of drunk Eva/Vilde makeouts we would get sad intoxicated Jonas trying to kiss Matteo in this clip, and I was all for THE ANGST that would bring. Either that or Jonas was gonna make out with Toilet Sam. 

(He did not make out with either of them - yet - but it’s OK because there turned out to be enough of THE ANGST as it was.)

Alexander comes onstage and Toilet Sam gives him a shout-out for organizing, and that they beat their goal (by almost half, awesome). They’re giving the rest of the money to plant trees on campus, to make up for all the dead ones they spent showcasing students’ genitalia. How noble!

Sarah is the surprise performance of the night! So her contact with Alexander was not necessarily about them hooking up, but perhaps her thanking him for giving her the opportunity? Sarah sings idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish. 

After some more eye contact with Alexander, Mia leaves the room and goes upstairs. But Alexander stands in her path and won’t let her go to the bathroom. Come on, dude. You’ve been doing some things right but this episode you’re doing all these little entitled things.

He’s like, Mia, what do you want. He fixed everything? Everyone’s happy, so what’s her problem? LMAO again at this entitled attitude. She owes him nothing! The thing is - even if she really really likes him and wants to kiss him and be with him - she still owes him nothing! She’s allowed not to act on her feelings because she feels it’s a bad idea! Get out of here with this attitude that Mia is doing him wrong because she likes him but won’t give in and be with him.

He lets down his hood and rakes his hand through his hair in a strangely vampire-ish way, and says there’s something between them. He likes her a lot, but he’s tired of these games. Dude, you’re the one starting many of these games now. Yeah, Mia is definitely responsible for much of what happened earlier in the season, and she could certainly be better about not contacting him, but he’s also the one showing up at her place with a drink and telling her he’ll call everything off if she doesn’t show up to the benefit. He gives her the lines about if she doesn’t like him, say it to his face and he’ll leave her alone forever. Just as he says that, Kiki comes out of the bathroom, and there’s some heavy eye contact between her and Mia, and oh right, that’s what Mia doesn’t like him, that’s why Mia can’t be with him.

Heh, he put down his hoodie to confess to her, because he was being open about his feelings, and then when she’s rejected him, he puts it back up. He’s ~putting up his wall again. 

Mia then goes into the bathroom and has a mini-breakdown, as the song switches from the cover to the original. She’s teary, she’s wiping off her lipstick. Props again to Milena because she’s really selling this season. She looks for some toilet paper, but there’s only the cardboard for the roll. So she goes in her purse for something and comes up with the Post-It Alex left her about Hotel Hardenberg. Ahhhh, now that’s a nice little detail. I’m one of those people who just ... does not clean out her purse until she buys a new purse, lmao, so I can imagine Mia shoved it in there and forgot about it, without being very sentimental about it at the time. But I like that it came back at this crucial moment.

Mia grabs her coat and runs out of the club after him. When she catches up to him, they’re on opposite sides of a bridge, so we know what’s gonna happen. Someone’s gotta cross, or they have to meet in the middle.

She says it’s cold, he offers her a beanie, she comes forward and shows her own beanie, they both put on beanies at the same time. It’s a big beanie fest. What’s important that Mia crossed the bridge and closed the gap. The symbolism is obvious, but ... well, it’s there.

She says that she likes him, but doesn’t want to like him. He’s an egocentric prick, but then he was clever and funny and nice that one Friday, but then he disappears for a week and pulls that stunt copying his dick and plastering it around the school. Alex is like, who said that was my dick? Mia is like, well whose dick was it? Alex nods over her shoulder and we see Jonas stumbling around drunk as fuck. LMAO. Mia had Jonas’ dick pic in her backpack. She was going around thinking she got a glimpse of Alexander’s junk, showing it off to her roommate, and it was Jonas’ all along! And Hanna didn’t notice it was Jonas’ dick??? 

I mean, now I get why Alexander and Jonas bonded so quickly. They’re dick twins, if Kiki can mistake one for the other. I’m sure there’s some situation where that would come in handy (no pun intended?) 

Are the two of you going to help out this completely drunk Jonas who’s by himself and who’s wandering into the street before he gets hit by a car or something...

Alex is like, do I look like someone who whips out his dick when he’s drunk? (I mean...) His penis needs to stay an enigma. Okay, goddammit, that’s funny. But Mia correctly points out that every other girl at school knows his penis, so it’s not an enigma.

When Alex is like, now what, Mia looks past him and says, “Fuck,” and when he turns back to her she’s kissing him. Damn, she’s so smooth. They dramatically kiss and he doinks his forehead against hers, it’s quite sweet. Then Alex goes off into the night, probably to find a few necks to drain. He rummages around in his coat for a moment, making quite a show, and of course it’s his middle finger he finds and flashes at Mia. Flipping each other off becoming their romantic couples’ gesture? I’m here for it. 

He also does a little skip hop as he goes. Mia looks after him, smiling. Oh, Mia. Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

So that shot during the end credits, of her looking outside at something, is not her in the first kiss scene! When will any of these moments happen?

Social Media/General Comments

The week long hiatus was explained in-universe as an “insta detox” among the girls. Matteo did not let that stop him from posting his regularly scheduled memes, though. #fuckinstadetox

Hanna texts Matteo about why Jonas and Alex are acting all buddy-buddy, which we see in the clips, too. Matteo says he doesn’t know. I thought it was meant to be a red herring and that Alex was probably not directly involved in the prank, but Jonas probably was, and maybe Jonas decided to bro it up with Alex since he liked his motto. Except then Alex turned out to have participated in the prank. I guess their friendship escalated when Jonas had his dick out on the copy machine.

But I like seeing a William have friendly interactions with other characters. That was something I thought was kind of lacking with him in Skam, that we didn’t get a ton of insight into his other friendships. He didn’t seem to care much about Noora’s friends, and he was close with P-Chris obviously, but there wasn’t a ton of detail there as to why or what their relationship was like outside of girl drama. I understand that not every character has to be extroverted and buddy-buddy with others, but it makes me think a lot more of Alex as a person when we see him forming bonds with people who he does not want to bone.

Matteo then texted Jonas about the thing between him and Alex, and Jonas jokes that he couldn’t resist Alex’s face. Matteo is jealous! But totally not really jealous, you know, JOKING jealous. Totally. And when Jonas teases him about it, he says there’s no reason to be, Matteo is the only little bitch in his life. I legit want to pass out. And I think Matteo did too, because he sent back a heart emoji. Six minutes later. What happened in those six minutes? Was Matteo just sitting there staring at his phone, wondering how the hell to respond to that? Getting butterflies and heart palpitations in his skinny stoner body?

There are pictures of the benefit with the girl squad sans Mia ... after she left to run after Alex, maybe? ~Foreshadowing?

I’m Mia right now. I was so annoyed with little things Alexander did in this episode, and I’m still pissed at some of his past behavior, and yet I am charmed by him despite it all. It’s heavily due to the performance. I can’t believe Alexander was one of my least favorite Williams across the remakes based on the first season, and he’s skyrocketing here just by virtue of having a personality.

I also can’t believe I had doubts about Mia in the first season. She has my whole heart now, fuckups and all. 

Girl Sam and boy Sam were rapping together at benefit, according to IG. What if boy Sam replaced Kasper and made out with girl Sam in the finale, since it’s unlikely Manfred will fill that role (or at least I hope to God not)? I mean, if Kiki’s ultimately gonna be chill about Mia and Alexander, Hanna being chill about Sam and Sam wouldn’t be too much of a stretch.

In an alternate universe, this season turned into the German remake of American Vandal from here on out and we spent the next five episodes trying to figure out who covered the school in dicks.

I’m not German so please feel free to correct me/clarify stuff!

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[caffeineivore]

On Review Etiquette

So, lately, I have been participating in @sailormoonreviewevent and it brings back some of my best and worst memories of fandoms, not just SM but fandoms in general, and the people who populate them. 

Background information: I’ve been around since dinosaurs still roamed the Earth and geocities sites with animated word-art headers and the like were still the norm. In the case of Sailor Moon as well as other fandoms in which I have participated, I seem to always end up in a peculiar sort of capacity-- on the one hand, I’d pretty much stick to a very small corner of the fandom wherein my ship and/or character preferences kept me mostly away from the vast majority of the riff-raff and the fandom politics, but maybe because I have an inherently bossy and super type-A personality, I’d still end up in some sort of organizational capacity. The whip-cracker, as it were, amidst a bunch of creative types. For instance, in Sailor Moon, I pretty much stuck exclusively with senshi/shitennou. I paid very little attention to fanfics not about senshi/shitennou, and don’t really know people outside of that group. However, for all that, I ended up organizing ficathon for a few years, as well as moderating a writing community and planning meet-ups between members. In this role, I get to see a lot of the nuts and bolts which go on behind the scenes, and, unfortunately, also have to play the bad guy in certain sticky situations, which brings me to the point of this post.

Now, as a fanfic writer myself, I can say definitively that reviews make the world go round. Much as we write for fun, and we write to please ourselves, there is nothing quite so uplifting and encouraging as a genuine, sincere, detailed positive review. You know the type-- the ones that tell you exactly what they liked the most about your fic, in such a way that shows that not only did they read it, but it truly had an impact on them-- maybe it made them reconsider a facet of a character they’d never considered before, or maybe it mentions their favourite lines, or maybe it subconsciously reassures the writer on some point or another which they were uncertain about. Obviously, these are like the gold standard of reviews, and somewhat rare and far between. However, you’ll also get a bunch of “omg i <3 this fic MOAR PLZ”, which is okay too. You’ll probably even get a few with constructive criticism, which may sting at the time, but if the reviewer 1. means well and 2. has a point, it’s definitely worth your time to take their words into account. 

However, then you get one of these other types of reviews:

1. “Why did you write about [character] and/or [ship] they suxxxx [other character/ship] IS SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!”

2. this fucking fic is dumb. you suck. die in a fire. flame flame flame flame flame. trollololol I have no life I live in my parents’ basement and wank over how hard I am even though I need to put people down behind a meaningless screen name to feel better about myself. Not in a million years would I have the balls to say this sort of thing to someone’s face, but on the internet I am a Grade A Certified Prime Asshole and proud of it. [guest review anonymous]

3. So yeah this fic is great and I know it’s marked complete but could you add another chapter? Perhaps with [very specific plot and character requirements to cater into my personal whims] plzkthxbai!

4. Ummm... so why are you writing [characters] in [AU setting] or [different version of canon-- manga/anime/pgsm/etc.]?? MY PREFERRED CANON IS BETTER. WHY CAN’T YOU DO WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO??

5. Update faster plz!!! I need the next chapter NOW!! Actually I needed it YESTERDAY!! WTF ARE YOU DOING WHY ARE YOU NOT WRITING?!?!!?!!

Annnnnnnnd... you count to ten, resisting the impulse to chuck the phone or computer out the window. Take a deep breath, count to ten again, backward this time, and remind yourself that this is just fanfic. Just fanfic. Fandom’s bound to have a few idiots. You want to reply to the reviewer: “Look can u not” but that would be validating them, making them more important than they should be. You tell yourself it’s just a troll, but nonetheless, it hurts. And when you pick up that fic again, you’ll probably remember that one review in the back of your mind, taunting, more vivid than a dozen “gr8 job hope to see more soon!”’s. 

And it’s sad. So I’m about to give everyone who has experienced this (which, in all likelihood, is everyone who has posted a fanfic in any fandom ever) a voice. A loud, stridently snarky one. 

Reviewers: CAN U NOT?? with the trolling????

Look, I’m so glad that you have the time and the means to sit around and chill and read fanfic. It’s a luxury that requires a lot of first world amenities that not everyone has, so kudos to you. But that means, also, that you have a lot of freedoms not afforded to everyone, such as, y’know, the ability to pick and choose what you decide to read and comment on. There will be fics about every possible permutation of character ships in a fandom. There will be fics in every genre, which run the gamut of writing skill from novice to expert. And pretty much every single fic site, be it something privately owned or some behemoth like ff.n or AO3, will separate their fics into categories by character, genre, length, rating, etc. etc. The internetz is a wonderful thing. You can pretty much find anything with a few clicks. Like you can literally probably search for “I want a fic featuring [character A] and [character B] in a high school AU with angsty undertones and make it a one-shot less than 5000 words because I am on lunch break”, and it will take only the minimal amount of effort to get exactly what you look for to fall into your lap.

We all have our fic preferences. We also all know what we do not like. So, let me ask, why the hell do people insist on not only reading but flaming stuff that they KNOW they’re not going to like?? I am a diehard senshi/shitennou shipper and manga is my preferred canon. I KNOW that I do not ship Rei/Yuuichirou for example, so I won’t go out of my way to read fics featuring them. I’m not crazy about fics which feature tons of violence or porn, or lots of OCs, and I tend to dislike fics which make light of serious issues such as self harm or drug abuse, and I draw a very hard line at rape and sexual assault, especially if it features characters below the age of consent. Like, serious, trigger warning, PTSD, nope nope nope nope at Planet Nope. Now, what do I do if I come across a fic featuring any of these things? 

I DON’T FUCKING READ IT. Really. That’s all there is to it. I scroll down onto the next thing. And in the event that, say, I accidentally clicked on something that I figure out isn’t my cup of tea, it does not take any sort of effort to click right back out. Why give yourself grief? But even more, why give the writer grief? Even if it’s totally not your thing, they put effort into it-- far more effort than you did, clicking on their work. THEY are into what they wrote. 

Now, once upon a time, when I was organizing one of the senshi/shitennou ficathons, one of the submissions happened to feature something that NOPED with me very hard. And as ficathon mistress, I had to read it. So I did. And then replied to the author that it was very well written but I could not review it for personal reasons. Then I sent it off to another moderator to read it and give them an actual review. And that is an extenuating circumstance. Most people would not ever be in the position to have to read a fic that they would otherwise not read, or say anything to the writer of said fic. Even in that circumstance, it is not hard to deal with it in a respectful manner. So, why the fuck would someone willingly and knowingly inflict something they know they’re not going to like on themselves and then punish someone else for it? That makes NO sense.

As far as harassing authors to follow your own niche or write more on a topic or story that they feel as though they’re done with? Dude, write your own fic. You have total control over only one person in this world: yourself. Sure, validating what a fanfic writer does is very nice and gratifying, but they are not trained monkeys there to do your bidding and perform for your personal amusement. Unless you’re paying them good cashy money (which, since it’s fanfic, you’re not), you don’t get to have a say in what they write, when they write it, where they post it (if anywhere), any of that. They are under no contractual obligation to cater in to you in any way. And furthermore, when you try to dictate to them what to write and how to write it, the message is this: I Know Better Than You. Do As I Say. You Don’t Know Shit. What You Do Is Not Good Enough For Me. What You Do Doesn’t Matter. The Only Thing That Matters Is What I Want. 

That’s nothing but a goddamn put-down. And when you put down someone who probably put in a whole lot of thought and effort into something which brings them no possible reward but personal satisfaction and maybe others’ enjoyment, it’s really kind of a sucker-punch. If, say, this was the type of interaction between a boyfriend and girlfriend-- the put-downs, the belittling, the dictating, the insults-- we’d all recoil and call it a toxic, abusive relationship. We’d tell the person receiving those comments to get out of there, to get help, to leave.

So, when you make those types of comments, that’s the message you’re sending that writer. Leave. Get out of here. Go away, for your own good, for your own sanity and health and happiness. 

Now think about it, as you’re scrolling through ff.n or ao3 or wherever, looking for that next undiscovered gem. Think about it, when someone shyly asks you to review their fic, or signs up for the first time for a fandom event such as a ficathon or a big bang or a secret santa exchange. Is that the message you want to give them? That they should leave and never look back?

Now think about it again, and remember when you first discovered fanfic, or your preferred fandom, and wrote your first fic. Maybe it was campy and featured every trope on the TV tropes page. Maybe it was a shameless Mary Sue. Maybe it was ridiculously OOC and featured eye-gougingly purple prose. Maybe it was riddled with typos. Maybe you, yourself, looking back at it now, shake your head at how you could’ve written such a monstrosity. But would you have stayed, I wonder, if nobody at all encouraged you? Countless writers fade into oblivion after one fic, or disappear forever, deleting their fics off the internet. Countless people get fed up with fandom and throw their hands up and dismiss it as a lost cause. These things are going to happen regardless, sure.

But why the hell would you encourage that?

[simnovels-blog]

So many replies!

You guys are overwhelming me!! <3

First a general reply to everyone reading about the colony because I feel like I should explain my choice for Hunter considering all your comments. In the end there were two very simple reasons I chose Hunter instead of Davey:

1. Violet rolled no wishes regarding Davey but she did roll a wish to go on a date with Hunter.

2. The morning I wanted to make a decision Story Progression prompted me a message that Davey was now in a relationship with Yasmine Aozora. I could’ve broken them up of course without including that into the story, but since I already had such a bad time choosing and because of the date wish, I decided to let the game lead me!

One more thing: the poll did not influence the choice since the chapters published today were written earlier this week before the poll was online. I’ll let you guys know right now that I have 15(!) chapters on queue all the way to december 30. So for example if you comment something right now, don’t expect to see it influence the story the day after or something like that. In all honesty you guys have very diverse opinions so I just go my own way and write what I think will make you guys go FJSDGFSJKFGSDJK in both good and bad ways lol. I hope that those who are suffering right now will forgive me <3.

Now, to the individual replies! --->

@goatkibble replied to your photoset “The Year 2239, Day 6 - Violet’s Journal So about the answer to the...”

Stupid woman.

I added this reply last but further down the road of this batch of replies I kind of agree with you on this lol.

@ktarsims​ replied to your photoset “The Year 2239, Day 5 - Violet’s Journal Oh journal, where do I start?...”

Katie sounds like a good match for Davey, possibly.

I think they would be a good match indeed. Though Davey seems to have found Yasmine instead as I just explained above...

@stepawayfromthecarrot replied to your photoset “The Year 2239, Day 6 - Violet’s Journal So about the answer to the...”

Noooooo ��

I’m sorry! Blame the game! Don’t blame me! :P e.e *hides*

@ktarsims​ replied to your photoset “The Year 2239, Day 6 - Violet’s Journal So about the answer to the...”

Ouch. Although, I can't disagree with her. Lopsided relationships are not good. And this relationship would definitely have been lopsided. It'll probably be better for Davey if he ends up in a relationship where he won't be absolutely dependent on the other person.

I completely agree with this statement.

@dandylion240​ replied to your photoset “The Year 2239, Day 6 - Violet’s Journal So about the answer to the...”

I thought the vote didn't have anything to do with the results. Doesn't matter thought I voted for Hunter. Just because he seemed the most interesting. I am sad that Davey got his heart broke though.

Yep, that’s right. The vote didn’t influence the outcome as I explained above. I feel very sad for Davey too. He really is the kind of guy you’d almost date just because you want him to not be sad lol.

@rosiesimming​ replied to your photoset “The Year 2239, Day 6 - Violet’s Journal So about the answer to the...”

*throws hands in the air* You are dead to me, Violet. >.> HOW DARE YOU HURT THAT SWEET MAN. A pox on everyone that voted for Hunter. A pox I say!! XD

You can direct this anger towards the game haha not towards the voters they had nothing to do with this e.e.

@rosiesimming​ replied to your photoset “The Year 2239, Day 5 - Violet’s Journal Oh journal, where do I start?...”

Violet and Dimitri = bestest friends till the end! XD

I think they could have a really nice friendship, though I’m going to give you something to wonder about: do you think Dimitri is the right person to ask love advice from? e.e

@goatkibble replied to your post “I just wanted to say all your comments on my colony have given me...”

*tantrum brewing*

I’m scared! Forgive me plz. *blames the game and runs*

@kyranyx​ replied to your post “I just wanted to say all your comments on my colony have given me...”

Kkk you reminds me how I used to act as a dungeon master

Having your readers get all worked up over the events in your story is the best feeling for a writer, don’t you agree? :P

@stepawayfromthecarrot replied to your photoset “The Year 2239, Day 3 - Hunter’s Journal Today was a holiday for all of...”

Dislike! I can see him getting mean and bitter if she goes with someone else though

Mean and bitter Hunter... we’ll have to see if he has a side like that!

@rosiesimming replied to your post “I just wanted to say all your comments on my colony have given me...”

;)

I hope you keep reading even though I made you suffer D:

@stepawayfromthecarrot replied to your post “Man I just went through a total nightmare! I’m going home for...”

That sucks! Hope everything is okay!

I hope so too. My dad will check it out after the christmas days are over.

@goatkibble replied to your post “Man I just went through a total nightmare! I’m going home for...”

It might not be as bad as you think...

yeah, my dad said the tower can take a hit, but you should’ve seen it fall from my bike onto the hard stone street... people turned around to see what happened. And of course my stepdad put some fear in me saying that IF something broke, it’d probably be the harddrive -_-.

@goatkibble replied to your photoset “The Year 2239, Day 3 - Hunter’s Journal Today was a holiday for all of...”

And he seems to think substituting 'passion' for true romance and respect is the way to a woman's heart. I know Violet needs to explore her options but this isn't a good choice.

Violet still has some growing up to do. She’s young, naive and childish and not the kind of girl that has gained such wisdom in love yet unfortunately. I used to be like her and I used to fall for guys like Hunter too. I got my own Davey now though! But who knows maybe Hunter is nicer than you imagine him to be.

@rosiesimming replied to your photoset “The Year 2239, Day 3 - Hunter’s Journal Today was a holiday for all of...”

What are you doing!? No, I refuse. If Violet picks him, she is dead to me. XD

Well... oops D:

@goatkibble replied to your photoset “The Year 2239, Day 3 - Hunter’s Journal Today was a holiday for all of...”

"Oh yeah, I wouldn't mind this bird since the others aren't up to my standard." So romantic *eyeroll*. And I was right. He IS as boring as he is pasty.

You’ll get to see a lot more of him in the following chapters and I’m really curious to see your thoughts on him! heheheh....

@goatkibble replied to your photoset

“The Year 2239, Day 2 - Davey’s Journal Oh my… I know I don’t have any...”

You COULD invite her to hang out with you on your free day you know.... but let's face it, you are going to get your heart broken in favour of Captain Boring :(

I guess you were right about that one...

@ktarsims replied to your post “Some more replies”

It's possible that people like Hunter better because he's a blonde white dude. However, he's also the only other dude who seems to be possibly rather decent, a bit less calculating, and to be a bit more genuine than some of the others. Additionally, he has kind of a 'bad boy' vibe 'but not too bad' going on that tends to appeal to a lot of people. Even his name lends to that sort of thing.

Very true indeed! Hunter is like a more confident Davey though this also makes him a bit more superficial. With Davey, you’re instantly in a very deep and serious relationship. Hunter is a bit less overwhelming and for some (including Violet) this can be a good thing.

@ktarsims replied to your post “Replies!”

Wait, was there an actual poll? LMAO I thought there was just the post and we posted our picks. xD *goes to look for actual poll*

Lol :D did you get tricked into replying that way? :P

@ktarsims replied to your post “Man I just went through a total nightmare! I’m going home for...”

Oye oye. *sends hugs* I hope everything turns out alright!

Thanks <3 <3.

@rosiesimming replied to your photoset “The Year 2239, Day 2 - Davey’s Journal Oh my… I know I don’t have any...”

YAS :D

Aww look, at this reply you were still happy! *laughs evilish and then runs away scared*

@dandylion240 replied to your post “Man I just went through a total nightmare! I’m going home for...”

I have my fingers crossed that it's fixable or at least you can retrieve your files.

Me too! D: We’ll see after Christmas.

@stepawayfromthecarrot​ replied to your photoset “Poll time! Who would you like to see as Violet’s spouse in the colony?...”

John screams fuckboy, dimitri also a fuckboy (plus don't get on scarlet's bad side haha), jerry would make a great best (platonic) friend but not exactly chemistry there. Hunter is okayyy but I'm not super feeling it yet. Although we haven't seen much of him yet so who knows! Davey does feel like the obvious choice (although I'm sure you'll always make it interesting no matter what!) but i chose him, i think he's the only one at this stage who genuinely cares about her

@stepawayfromthecarrot replied to your photoset “Poll time! Who would you like to see as Violet’s spouse in the colony?...”

More importantly, i can see her and davey totally getting together in a "normal sim world" instead of feeling forced to shack up with someone for procreation. They can be their genuine selves and so they can like each other for their real selves. Also can we TALK about davey's bod?!?!? Yeeees violet get it gurl

Haha Davey is very handsome indeed, but Hunter has quite a body as well, did you check it out? ;)