#can you tell i'm a frustrated kid bc i love to create stuff like this & actually make something out of it

[dalkyeom]

📌— Weekly Chan ; SKZ break!

This announcement has been a long time coming but I wanted to come here and let you know that I’ll be stepping away from creating skz content for the foreseeable future.

Tbh I didn’t know how to tell everyone that I wouldn’t be drawing for them anymore. Maybe, because I found myself comfortable with the community I found myself in but my passion to create fanart for them dwindled over the past few months. I held on thinking this is a fluke, but I think it's time for me to explore other interests of mine. I wanted to stay but I found myself frustrated with feeling like I'm putting myself in a box. honestly, it was the lack of traction or how hard it was for my work to be seen that was a big factor in wanting to leave. I stand by the fact that feedback is vital for an artist's motivation to continue making the things they do. The lack of it made me question if it was even worth continuing to draw for skz bc while I love them a lot, not having my works reach a larger pool of Stays was pretty taxing. also the fact I was hidden in the basement did not help :(

Sadly, my love for Chan couldn't soothe the creative frustration I was in. So I guess it's just time to go, step outside for awhile, and explore new worlds.

As a staytist, I want to thank you for liking my art 🥺 and I hope they were able to give some comfort or healing. Most of them were made out of sheer love for the group bc for a long time Stray Kids were my home. They provided me happiness that I wanted to share too. I’ll never forget reading the nice tags and the nice asks you’ve sent my way! Thank you for welcoming me to the fandom even though I don’t interact as much.

So I want to say, please love your content creators. editors, writers, fanartists— the whole nine yards bc without them you can feel the lack of an integral part of the fandom experience. If their works make you happy and you want to see more from them: share their work, send them love and asks, comment, engage— anything that can help share their work around bc we spend so much time creating things out of love for free! Let them know you appreciate the work they’ve put into the things they love. The least we ask for is to share works we spent lots of time on.

Thank you for reading! I hope I can still see you around while I make art for other interests. Under the cut will be about Weekly Chan updates and a more in depth explanation/ goodbye letter/ final thoughts since the important stuff has been said.

Weekly Chan has 19 more portraits to go before I can say I’m officially finished with the project. So, I’ll be working on those on/off because more than anything, I want to see it done. Weekly Chan started as a normal dedicated fan project for Bang Chan (mainly out of Chanrot) that became a source of wanting to spread warmth to fellow stays much like how Chan does weekly through Chan’s Room.

I made a goal of 100 portraits by his birthday, and since I’m close to finishing it I’ll be seeing it through 💖 as a gift because Chan has done a lot for me, like an extra booster when I feel like I’m doing things alone. There is no definite end date since I'll take my time finishing it. He is, after all one of the stars I cherish the most.

Tbh aside from the whole art-related stuff. Around March, I think I was already finding myself detaching from skz. It was like a gradual loss of motivation to keep following them. I'm sure if you were a follower of my @/mocimori blog you've heard me cry over it a couple of times. Mainly it was a culmination of many things but the speed the community was going (lovestay > oddinary) and over saturation made me feel what I felt towards Genshin twt's fast paced consumption of new content.

getting tickets to their Maniac Tour was what broke the chiamel's back. I was tasked to secure tickets so my fam and my friend can watch the show with me, but I underestimated how stressful it was. No amount of preparation could prepare me for ticketing day. The fact that there was no membership pre-sale made it 10x more stressful it was as if we were on the hunger games as involuntary Katniss Everdeens at the quarter quell. It was that bad. I ended up sick from the preparation stress and the crushing weight of not being able to secure even 1 ticket. Eventually, I did manage to secure tickets when they open sales for Newark D1 but the exhaustion I felt stuck to me like tar.

I think I was just hoping to go back to the way it was. The ticketing left a bad taste in my mouth and omo, this is a fault of mine but messy fandom stuff will slip in my radar even though I try to keep my feed negative-free. Then I heard about how Staytists were being treated by fellow Stays (reposting of art w/out consent, rating fanart on tiktok — basically just disrespectful behavior) I had a hard time trying to reconnect afterwards.

Also this post is getting way too long so I shall tl;dr what was going on with my Chan ult'ing journey but eventually the sparks just faded out. It was probably a combination of so many things and the pressure of wanting to draw Chan on a weekly basis, sometimes 3-5x a week that it just… took its toll on me…

it came to a point where I would cry over Chan at random hours of the day. I missed him, I felt guilty bc suddenly he was no longer the center of my thoughts. I felt guilt bc I knew people knew me as that Chan fanartist. It was silly, how I let a kpop boy affect me this much but I held him with the highest regard. He was my star; out of all the biases I ult'd he had the most special position and was a symbol of hope. Having a hard time relate to him, feeling so detached made me feel bad. As if the security blanket was ripped away from my fingers.

sometimes, I still cry over him. It's no longer as bad as that time I cried over him for a week or two straight. I reflected a bit because yeah, it was a bit silly of me but when he was the source of all my hope when I felt like I had no one— even if it was that small of an interaction, I felt like what I'm feeling is valid. So, yeah, I just feel like it's ok for me to let go now. I think it was more of my fear of leaving behind a community that made me want to stick around. Other than the pressure, I just feel like throughout the last few months I lost what little creativity I had bc I wanted to follow trends, I had to box this outlet for the sake of accuracy and aaah idk it was just not healthy anymore.

i'll still support the Kids in my own way. At the end of the day, they're still my ults and I love the music they make. But I wanted to write this so you won't worry wth happened to me and the skz art. It's not really a goodbye but maybe, a see you soon!

thank you for everything!

[prettybutter-flyy]

so I'm in what i am calling my cacoon era.

The fact is i have a terrible habit of saying im going to do things to my friends and family and then just not doing it. A couple months ago i realized im only really letting myself down, bc they dont even expect me to do what i say anymore. In fact, i dont even think my loved ones really respect me, but thats a story for another time.

I was just getting so frustrated that my loved ones didnt really take me seriously and wouldnt come through for me but then i realized, i dont even do that shit for myself!

And this is not to say that i dont DESERVE my lov3d ones to show they care or prioritize me or whatever, i absolutely do. If you are someones irl moot, you should show you care about them and prioritize them sometimes.

My point is How can i be mad when others dont come through for me or make me a priority when i dont even prioritize myself?

I am not physically healthy, i eat like shit, im fat, o feel sluggish and weighed down and i dont like it. Dont get me wrong, im cute but i *feel* like shit.

I don't stand up for myself and i invalidate my feelings and thoughts constantly, always looking to others and social media for opinions.

I am not where i want to be financially. But thats just bc I got myself into like 8k debt when i was without a job a couple months ago.

Socially, i feel like im at the bottom of my friend group if I'm being 100% honest. They dont treat me poorly, but i can tell they think im stupid. Maybe we just have too much history, we have been friends since high school, so... and then it doesnt help that im the only single friend, and I'm happy for them genuinely, but the dynamics just change when friends get into relationships. I have 4 hs friends I see semi regularly, 2 of them are married and 2 have serious bfs. They hang out as couples and give me relationship advice and the married ones are getting ready to buy a house and maybe have kids. They're just in different stages of life man, and it peer pressures me into wanting that but im honestly not even sure if i do.

And professionally... idk im doing okay professionally. Im working at a news station as a show producer and my passion has always been film, writing and creating stuff. Its not an exact match but its okay for now and its sustainable and if I can play my networking hands right, i could move to where i want to be (a film firector). My issue here is i have the whole day to do this stuff (write, film, create, practice my art) and i just dont. Idk the mental blocks holding me back, is it my laziness or learned helplessness or what, but i just dont do things that i am passionate about.

All around, i am not where i want to be.

But I moved into my apartment in july, and thats a crazy story in itself but i am an hour away from my closest family (30-40 if i tale tolls). I didnt want to move so far away but recently, ive been getting signs that this was a good move for me. I need to isolate myself to make these changes: no going out to save money; instead workout, get my body how i want; practice making new friends, new SINGLE friends.

Ive slightly failed bc ive been talking to this guy for the last couple weeks but nothing is official and theres no reason it needs to be just yet. I want to get with at least one girl before i settle down with anyone.

My point is, i want to take the rest of my lease in this apartment as a chance to radically repair my life. To sprout my wings and become the butterfly that i feel like on the inside, and let that show on the outside. I deserve so much more than what ive given myself. If i were in a relationship w myself, i would have broken up with that bum ass bitch years ago.

So in my Cacoon era, im isolating myself, trying to make the changes internally and virtually alone, bc I will not have support from family and friends because i have said i was going to get my shit together so many times (and not done it) at this point, i imagine no one believes me. Im chrysalizing myself from a beautiful catipillar to emerge a beautiful butterfly - and I have to do the internal work as well, bc I could lose the weight and still be in a bad financial situation (how will i go on dates!) Or start hating myself and develop an ed (i don't now but i have addictive tendencies) or make shitty new friends who treat me worse than my hs friends (who i want to reiterate, havent really harmed me, just dont respect me). I cant just fix one aspect, they all tie in together, they're all a part of me and what makes me happy and if one of those things is off, i will still be as miserable as i am now.

My cacoon is meant to be protection from the outside, and an incubator for a new me.

So these are the things i want to change, im on a new platform where no one knows me and i have a lil freedom to explore and vent and whatever i want because this is my blog and i deserve it.

I deserve to do the things that i like. I deserve to look how i feel, i deserve friends that take me seriously, I deserve relationships that serve me and to be with someone im crazy about when the time is right. And you do too.

Please join me on this journey. Im begging, one thing i really need right now is a(n anonymous) community of ppl wanting to better themselves just like me, encouragement and maybe tips. An external force to be held accountable to.

Typically, i would ask what your thoughts are, but I don't really care, just follow my journey and tell me abt yours :)

[in-superbloom]

okay so. i never really did a review (feels weird to call it a review tho so let's say a very opinionated essay that's totally the opposite of what college taught me) for wfttwtaf but i never really know how to do that for any album, doesn't matter how much it makes me feel feelings, bc i simply can't write about my own emotions in cohesive thoughts ✌🏻😔

so instead, i let my brain do this thing he usually does when i listen to an album that leaves an effect on me, which is pretty much just creating visuals for the songs bc apparently my feelings translate better into images/vibes rather than words lmao but since i am unfortunately not skilled to drawn/paint/created actual visual stuff, i just wrote them so i'm gonna leave them here bc why not <3

i just really love when music (art in general, but especially music for me) makes your mind run wild & be so inspired that you can't help but create something based on that feeling <3 a great example of that is the amount of art everyone here (on tumblr!sos verse, but also tumblr & the internet in general) create based on other peoples' art & i just *clenches fists* really love that 💜

anyways !! if you're reading this, i hope this makes sense to you & if you wanna chat about the album, my mail box is always open 💜

• track one: starting line – like the mv, but he's running like he's trying to get away from something, always looking behind his shoulder, stumbling on things/people on the streets. also maybe not flying?;

• track two: saigon – then he reaches a tiny but unique/eye-catching door, gets intrigued & enters. he has to go downstairs through a dark and narrow corridor, he hears muffled music coming down there. he reaches the door & the music is now clear, it looks like there are disco balls everywhere ((pink, blue and purple bc ofc)), the place is packed with people dancing & just vibing™. he goes to the dancefloor, but soon it gets overwhelming so he tries to reach a wall or the other end of the club, but he can't. the more he walks, the furthest he feels from the walls. everything has a psychedelic look, also some of those trippy effects he used on motion, and no one seems to notice/ care about him. this goes on until the end of the song, then he finally finds a door ((not the one he came from)) and opens it;

• track three: motion – he expects to find a street, but instead he's inside a room. it's a bit dark, all he sees are shadows, but then suddenly everything turns into an explosion of colors ((when the songs picks up in the beginning)), all dancing in front of him, making him feel lost & dizzy. he keeps walking, but every now and them he stumbles on something ((random things like animals or weird props or stuff that aren't supposed to be alive, but are)). he admires everything with a childlike wonder, touches things and then they turn into something else, or change form/shape/color. in the end, he's distracted looking at something and then falls like the floor reached an end;

• track four: place in me – he fell right there where he is in the mv/visualizer, it goes on like that;

• track five: baby blue – make it look like he fell asleep after the end of place in me, so he's very confused when he wakes up & it looks like the place is falling apart, like end of the world type ((like the lamentis thingy on loki)). things are exploding & he can see another planet very close to the one where he is. it's a bit scary but it's a breathtaking view nonetheless. he's mesmerized, but also kinda already accepted his fate? he's not trying to run to find a shelter/salvation or anything, just watching it all fall apart. at the end, he stops, turns around & looks at the path that he was walking ((full of nature things colored in every shade of blue and also glittery dust)) and he's just admiring it when he's hit by a big rock maybe? or a moon, who knows;

• track six: repeat – he's throw away to somewhere that's not collapsing, it looks like a pathway in the woods? but like, no florest too near, and it's sunny but not too warm, and the path is filled with green grass and flowers. he lands in a place that looks like a field but not quite. and then after walking for a while, he finds himself, but another version of him. maybe a younger one or an older one or both? like, they both just stop and stare at each other and kinda do this lil dance of trying to touch the other & watching the other, both a lil frightened but completely intrigued. maybe the older version of him? ooooh maybe it starts with an older version, but then every time present luke gets distracted by something else or turns around for a second, the other luke is getting younger, until he's just a lil kid. the ending is the mini luke offering his hand for present luke to grab, so he can lead him to a house that was near where they were. ((or maybe mini luke makes him run after him));

• track seven: mum – luke enters the house & immediately recognizes it as the house he grew up in. every step he takes, a wall or an object or a room brings a memory & it plays it out like a hologram. lots of memories. then in the guitar solo part, he finds a guitar in the room where he used to play the most when he was a kid ((maybe some cool&cute effects going around him, representing the sound coming from the guitar)). before the solo ends, you can see a shadow in the threshold of the door, and when he finished the guitar solo, luke turns around and smiles, getting up to hug the person ((it's his mum)) but maybe you never actually see her face?;

• track eight: slip away – he steps out of his childhood house and enters this big dark room. there's only a lil blue light coming from the very center of the room. when he gets closer to it, he sees it's a lil star, who looks very scared. as soon as she notices him ((he tries to reach her)) she runs out of the door on the other side of the room. he's worried&intrigued so he follows her, but when he opens the door, he immediately falls, this time he's in what looks like the clouds ((blue hues ofc but clearer ones, not as dark shades like the ones in place in me & baby blue)), and soon he finds out he can "swim" through them. he does that for a while until he sees the lil star and tries to follow her again. this goes on until he finally gets close to her, but when he touches her, she literally slips from his grasp bc he's being teleported again ((but make it look like she's the portal));

• track nine: diamonds – it starts with a close up on the water maybe? and then the camera keeps getting higher & suddenly he falls into it and soon the camera follows. he's distorted for a bit, especially when he notices he's already too deep into the water, away from the surface. then he tries to swim to the surface, but there's a bunch of things?? or like weird and mean seapeople maybe? trying to drag him down ((kinda like that scene on harry potter & the goblet of fire)). he tries his best to fight them, but what gets him away from them is a group of nice seapeople who came to his rescue. then they all swim away from the place they were ((also maybe slip in some diamonds or things that look like them around there?));

• track ten: a beautiful dream – he reaches a lil city? under water with the help of the nice seapeople & then there's this piano on the ground ((maybe covered in seaweed and stuff like that)) and he's immediately drawn to it. he plays/sings the song ((maybe like the guitar effects in mum, the sounds coming from the piano affect the place around him even tho it looks like he barely notices it)). when the song is finishing, he notices a white light coming from the surface. he looks at it & then follows it;

• track eleven: bloodline – then he's getting out of the water? at some beach perhaps? he's slowly getting out of the water & there's this beautiful sunrise behind him. he's singing along, looking like he just came out of a battle but at the same time he's in peace with himself, looking not exactly happy but relieved. he's walking on the beach, making his way home but he's not in a hurry. then in that lil bit in the end of the song, he gets out of the frame after looking straight to the camera maybe?? and the camera focuses on the sunrise and then everything goes black;

• track twelve: comedown – he wakes up in a bed ((like, this is him waking up from all these dreams)) & he's slightly confused bc the dreams felt so real, but he's feeling better & not so lost anymore. he goes out in a walk that maybe shows every place he was in his dreams? but like, this time you see what they really are bc every place in his dreams was inspired by a real location/thing, just reimagined. but like, he doesn't enter anywhere, he's just walking & you can see the places on both sides of the street. like, it's clearly a set up location but it's just representative. maybe you can see some of his friends/family at some of these locations or maybe they're all together in one place? but they don't look at him, they're just talking&laughing with each other. he looks happy, at ease & he's smiling, wearing a yellow or gold shirt. in the end, he reaches a cliffside maybe? somewhere that leads you to think that he'll go through another portal, but then he suddenly stops, looks down at the cliffside and crouches down bc he saw the lil blue star from slip away but it's now a necklace. he picks it up, with a small&easy smile and then looks at the camera, gives a bigger, real smile, gets up and turns around, going back to where his friends&family are, but the camera stays there, just watching him go.

// now some notes bc i love to over explain myself //

• the "water" one was supposed to be slip away, but alison @bandsanitizer was talking about a beautiful dream these days & said that something about the song reminds her of a sonar-like sound & the idea of searching for something, so that got me thinking about the ocean & relating it to this song and it also makes a lot of sense with what the album represents in my mind, so it made me change that. thank you for that miss alison, it's always a pleasure to read your thoughts 😌💜

• & it also fitted well with the “i can't fight the bloodline living in the seams back home” line from bloodline, so i wanted that one to be related to the water as well bc that's all i can think about when i hear that lyric;

• something in common that appears in every single one: an object or something related to time, since it's the big common theme on the whole album;

• in each song he's wearing the same outfit he wore in the starting line mv (white tee + black pants + converse) but in each one of them, that red shirt is in a different color;

• i had the visuals from starting line to mum very clear in my head on my first listen of the album, but i only truly finished writing all of this yesterday bc i wanna listen to halsey's new album and see if my brain does this thing again, but i wanted to finish wfttwtaf first <3

& that's it bc i already talked too much for a day lmao if you read all of this, you're a true hero & i love you <3 have a nice day 💛

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is. 

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative. 

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency. 

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him. 

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine. 

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

[cinnamonest]

did you say ceo of fErAL RAzOR

don’t be shy, talk some more on that

The time has come for more content of my boi!! I am so glad he is getting the love he deserves from my anons 🥺 anon... Let's hope he doesn't find out about any of those stories of women who had tons of kids... Darling just keeps her knowledge of those rare cases on the down low

------

Boy is feral, in this house we LOVE and we CHERISH this boy and all 3 of his braincells. Time for some blatant favoritism!

- Animals tend to sleep in cycles, not straight 8-hour periods like humans. They sleep a few hours, briefly wake up and do stuff, then go back to sleep. Same thing here. Expect to be woken up at 4 am by being rutted into.

- please God don't teach him about edging, or the concept of delaying orgasms. He won't necessarily do it on you, but himself. In other words, if he's not too horny and has enough self control, he'll just stop before cumming, nuzzle up into you, and slow down to lazy, agonizingly slow pumping motions, speed up again, slow down again, rinse and repeat. He can keep from cumming too fast, and make sex last for hours. He thinks it's the best thing he's ever discovered. Even if you don't.

- now, humans don't technically have ruts, but our brains are powerful things, and he believes he does - it creates a placebo effect, and he will get hornier, which yes, it turns out IS physically possible for him. He becomes convinced that, if females have cycles of fertility, he must too, so this is the prime time to knock you up. He doesn't like how cum seems to spill out of you every time he pulls out after, though, so he just won't pull out. Even between rounds, he'll just stay inside of you. His dick is long enough to stay inside even soft.

- He's probably insecure bc he doesn't have a knot and thinks he should

- speaking of, please do not alert him to the existence of a fertility cycle and the practice of tracking said cycle. It's just. Not a good idea for darling.

- Also a little bit irked by defiance, his brain has a simple thought process that makes your defiance seem so unreasonable. You're weaker AND female... Therefore... It's only natural that you're supposed to do whatever he tells you to do, and he gets frustrated if you don't. His frustration is mostly huffs and puffs and pouts, frustratedly tugging you wherever and holding you still. It's kind of cute, really. Mentioned this before, but animals don't really... get consent like that. Really, he's one of the most sympathetic yans, because to him it's just how things are. Sure, sometimes the females kinda whine and fight a little bit, so the big males just shove them down, and they stay mates, so he doesn't see why you'd have a problem with the same thing. It also makes him one of the most infuriating yans to deal with because you could explain it a million times and he still would not get it. You could ramble about the concept of consent and his response would be something to the effect of "But I'm stronger than you, so I can just hold you down." And then you try to explain why holding you down is wrong, and the logic loop starts over. He's not gonna get it.

- Likes your escape attempts to a degree. He doesn't really leave a lot of windows of opportunity, but chasing is fun! It's better if you try it at night, because his eyes have long since adapted to seeing in the dark - he'll see you long before you ever see him, but seeing you look around all frantically when he's practically right in front of you is kinda cute. And when he finally reaches out to grab you, you let out a little squeal that just reminds him of small animals a bit too much, it's instinctive to bite down on you. Reminds him of bunnies that squeal and struggle.

- scent/taste kink. He has a heightened sense of smell, really, from adaptation to his environment. As a result, he can subconsciously pick up on lots of little things like pheromones, arousal, slick etc. He can smell when you're wet and knows when you're most horny, and boy oh boy if he's not gonna use that to an advantage. Come on, you can't say no, clearly you smell so nice because you want it too, in fact it's really your fault for being turned on and making him the same way. He's a gross little cryptid about it too, likes the taste of it all -- not even that you feel good, but just, it tastes really good so he'll just hold you down and eat you out, lapping up everything and digging his tongue into you.

- Dog whines instead of moaning. Just. Putting that out there.

- no concept of foreplay. Sorry. Just. Grinds into you whimpering. You can teach him about it, and he'll grind into you and make out with you, but he's still pretty impatient, and that stage doesn't last too long.

- very short, if any, refractory period. Poor darling.

- Now, let's say you're in a timeline where you're trying to help the poor boy adjust to society and living among people. He has no -- I mean, ZERO -- concept of inappropriateness or PDA. You're just sitting with the rest of your party talking late night in some inn and he's physically laying on you, strung out over your lap - honestly you can treat him like a dog and just run your hands through his hair and he'll be happy. However, this applies to more than just g-rated physical affection. Nope, you'll be talking to everyone and boy just reaches up to grab a titty because he feels like it. You talking makes em jiggle, it's too tempting. You'll be letting him lay his head in your lap as aforementioned and he turn over and just starts nuzzling in between your legs -- his face is close and it smells nice, ok? Overall he's just very grabby, very physically clingy, touchy all the time. It's a way of showing love.

- Speaking of. You know how animals have this "if I can't see them, they can't see me" mentality and will think they're hidden even if their tail is sticking out? He has a "if there's walls, it means no one can hear" mentality. Doesn't know how to be gentle, every time you're fucking the bed is rocking heavily, thumping against the wall, and he doesn't try to hold back little whines, holds your mouth open and fucks you with such ferocity that you end up even louder. Expect complaints and mockery from the rest of your party.

- And of course, you will at some point HAVE to explain that human women don't have 30+ babies in their lifetime. He's crushed, really. Devastated. But he resolves to make up for it by, at the very least, contributing to the realm of human knowledge by trying to find out exactly what the limit on human women is.

[infinityactual]

So on the conversation of age real quick, I’m 23, so you most definitely have neen playing Halo longer than me. However I have been playing since I was 8, so thank you very much lmao!

As my reason for my hate towards Buck, its bc of three reasons:

1/ I sympathize WAAY more with Mickey’s plight and in the books (bad blood and new blood) his reasons for doing what he does and being who he is, feels the most rock solid?? And a helluva lot more compelling than Buck’s weird romance with Dare. But also I seemed like the author tired to make Mickey seem like the bad guy when really it’s just a messy situation, ya know?

2/ imo there wasn’t a lot to suggest to me that Mickey and Buck were ever close enough for him to be hurt by Mickey’s actions. Hell even Romeo was like “yeah that was shitty thing to to but I can see his POV” where as Buck treats him like shit 90% of the second book. And like I understand Buck has feelings, I just don’t understand why he’s so hellbent on being cruel to Mickey at ever opportunity.

3/ what he represents in not just the story but also (kind of) irl:

So I’m an annoying English major and with that I am contractually obligated to see the meaning in the meaningless.

Where as Master Cheif represents the literal shitty things the UNSC and ONI has done, I mean he and the other spartans were taken from the Outter Colonies at the height of the war and even he turns his back on the UNCS for someone he loves (even tho we don’t talk about Halo 5)

Buck seems to represent the staunch dogma and propaganda that exist in our real life. (Especially in America)

And really to boil it down honestly: I’ve known a lot of Edward Buck’s irl, and no I don’t want them to die but I want the kind of ideology that created our current geopolitical climate to die.

I didn’t know where to put this BUT my hate for Buck has less to do with him as a character and more to do with his beliefs in the book. The UNSC /UEG/ONI are very very corrupt and It is one part tragic and two parts frustrating to see Buck not realize this when the someone he claims to care about it telling him very clearly what is up. Sorry if this was messy lmao

OHOHOHOHOHO no this is not messy this is G R E A T. This is the sort of response I absolutely adore seeing in fandom, and I gotta say that you brought up stuff I'd never even thought about.

On the age thing: it's nice to see someone your age really get into an analysis like this. Especially one that's as well laid out and explained. This isn't really that messy.

More under the cut!

I remember bad blood but I don't think I've read new blood yet (I also have ADHD and the memory of a fruit fly) but from what I CAN remember, all of your points are pretty damn solid.

I'm a Navy brat. My dad was a sailor on an aircraft carrier when I was a kid, and all the men except my brother served going back generations. This isn't uncommon, but somehow I totally missed the Nationalism that tends to go along with it.

But I also somehow missed the concepts represented in Buck's character (and likely a lot of others in Halo, including my blorbo, Lasky).

The conflict between Mickey and Buck, when you step back and look at the possible concepts they represent, on the surface it looks like your classic good guy vs bad guy thing. But once I thought about it and scratched off that neat, tidy layer of paint, I realized that yeah, Mickey's whole thing is a lot more relatable, especially when you compare him to, say, a Palestinian or someone else in the real world in a similar situation. He represents a very human concept, whether his actions can be justified or not.

Buck on the other hand is very much a character chock full of tropes. This isn't a bad thing in and of itself, tropes are both unavoidable and the basic foundation of anything creative, written or otherwise (tho i think they're called something else in like, art). But once you mentioned, it seems obvious that he represents all that is good in the UNSC; which is contrary to the direction the story seemed to be going in Halo 4 and the movies and books immediately before (and I think after) it.

And I think you also got the reason why I do have some :/ feelings for Lasky as a character. 343 made a point of hilighting the fact that he sympathized with the insurrectionists in FUD, and even as a career military man in Halo 4, he's still willing to put his ass on the line to stick to his morals, to disobey orders he knows are wrong or tactically unsound, and when he's forced into a situation where he feels he has no way out, like when Osman orders him to pop a cap in Halsey's ass. He is obviously distressed over the idea, and reluctant to carry it out. Even Sarah points out that if he goes through with it, he'll likely be hung out to dry by the UNSC and ONI.

But that's as far as that sort of thing goes. After Halo 4, it seems like they leaned back into 'the UNSC are the unequivocal good guys' again. They went exactly nowhere with the concepts of things being morally grey or a military doing horrific things in broad daylight and spinning it as a neccesary and inherently good thing done for the wellbeing off humanity as a whole.

And I got that pretty much from the get go, which is why I'm a little surprised I didn't see the latter represented by Buck in bad blood. You are absolutely right about what he stands for (intentionally or not), and how that sort of thing is very, very present and all encompassing in the US. There are other places too, but we tend to take it to a whole 'nother level.

I rlly appreciate u sharing this with me. I also really like that you differentiate Buck's character from the concept his character stands for; that really can make a difference. As a character to me, personally, he's very....painfully average in pretty much every way. He's got some endearing qualities as a person, but when you stop and take into account things such as the concepts you've brought up here, it really does give a different perspective. While I might not share your intense dislike to the same degree, I can definitely get behind this and I think this take goes deeper than a lot of fans care to dig. It's...refreshing, I guess? To see someone really get into a character this way.

As an addition; I would give an arm, a leg and 75% of my liver for 343i to go back to hinting that the UNSC might actually be Awful and if not complacent, actively supporting and enabling all of ONIs crimes. Like, why make a HUGE point of basically taping a sign written in hilighter to Lasky's face stating that he doesn't support what the UNSC is doing, and then never follow up on that? Why paint Naomi's dad as a sympathetic character in the Kilo Five books? BRING 👏 THAT 👏 SHIT 👏 BACK👏

[marshthat]

My Jedi master Eeth Koth headcanons!

Eeth Koth has been my comfort charcter for quite a long time, and still is now (and I hope still will be in the future also, bc I cant imagine me existing without my love for Eeth anymore).

So, I've decided to share my most prominent master Koth headcanons that I've accumulated at this point

As promised, I'm posting only general ones, without any specific implied pairings or other relationships!

note: (due not so much info about Eeth in Canon and Legends (unforgivably little actually), maaaaybe I'm projecting some of my own mental stuff on him, but eh, this is unevitable I guess :)

Have fun reading these!

1. Change of the profile

In his youth, Eeth was a Jedi Guardian, a.k.a "Jedi-on-the-front-line", and carried a blue lightsaber. But after the death of his master, followed by him joining the High Council, Eeth calmed down his inner rambo and changed his profile to a Jedi Consular. And so he chose a path of a diplomat, built a green lightsaber (with a hilt very similar to his dead master's one, as a remembrance) and eventually became famous in the Jedi Order exactly for his ability to resolve conflicts peacefully. (that's why no big missions on his part before the Clone Wars era apart from his participation in the Yinchorri incident)

2. The acceptance issue

Eeth pays a lot of attention to his appearance: carefully brushes his hair, makes sure his clothing is perfect, and so on.

Some consider this a simple whim, but in fact this will to have an ideal appearance is a consequence of some issues Koth now has because of his difficult childhood. Due to the fact that Eeth spent his first four years as a ragged orphan in the filthy slums of Nar Shaddaa, he sometimes feels as if he doesn't deserve to be in such a clean and nice place as the Coruscant Jedi Temple. (And the fact that his membership in the Order at first caused a lot of controversy among the Council masters only worsened this fear)

That is why Eeth tries his best to always look as perfect as possible - to be suitable for the beauty of the Temple and to not feel himself a stranger in its walls.

3. Long meditation hours and self-reflecting

He does meditate on his issues quite often, in order to get rid of every irrational fear he has, like the one described in the previous headcanon. Usually he does that in the evening, after all the tasks are completed - he gives himself time to reflect on what happened during the day, what he did and said and how the others reacted. This does help, but still some thorns can be very hard to get out of his hearts. His favourite meditation place is his own quarters in the Temple, where he can have a nice view on the evening/night Coruscant, which is somehow more relaxing to him than the gardens in the Room of Thousand Fountains.

4. A little peek into the apartment

Eeth’s master-quarters in the Temple are decorated with effort and thought. The most significant part are the long heavy thick and soft curtains, that, if closed, take all the light in the room away, leaving the nice pleasant semidarkness atmoshphere. Also Eeth has a lot of various cushions around the whole apartment, along with an enormous supply of aroma candles! 

5. The tragedy of the Padawan

Eeth's first and only Padawan learner was Sharad Hett.

Sharad's will to quit the Order deeply hurt Eeth, even if he didn't say that out loud, as he put a lot of effort and dedication in his promise to be the best master possible for Sharad. Also he lowkey agreed with the accusations of other masters telling him he was responsible for Sharad's departure because Koth failed as a teacher - so he does feel himself guilty of failing both Sharad and the Order.

After the Hett's incident, he actually vowed to himself not to take any more Padawan learners, so as not to let anyone's expectations down again. (And, like master Saesee Tiin, chose to put his efforts into other fields rather then teaching)

(these panels still hurt me somehow qwq 

Sharad made Eeth cry, for kriffs sake!)

6. But he's still very friendly to kids

Despite the unpleasant exprienece with his own Padawan, he did let go of his initial frustration and now he is quite happy to give younglings and young padawans some general lessons! Also sometimes he takes other masters' students to group trainings or supervises them during the Trials of Knighthood. And young Jedi do love master Koth a lot - because he's soft and very patient, and does allow them some liberties :)

7. The social butterfly

Eeth is a "social butterfly" or a "caretaker" (ESFJ mbti-type)

He is used to being among a large number of people, but even though it seems that he gathers these people around him, in fact this is not true - his natural charm and outgoing personality allow him to easily make new acquaintances, interact with friends and encourage conversations, but he more follows his more assertive companions, adapts his behavior and words to them in order to create the most comfortable atmosphere possible, than directs them himself.

In other words, he offers the fun, but enjoys more the others' reactions to it, than the fun itself!

8. Sweet tooth!

Eeth LOVES sweet things! He generally likes all sorts of sweets, starting with various desserts and finishing with sugary tropic fruits. (Gaining weight? Naaah, the zabraks physiology allows him to consume a lot of food because of the higher metabolism due to the zabraks having two hearts. And also he does a lot of physical exercise in the training halls. So it's not a problem at all!)

9. And he is sweet himself too

This love for sugary things is not only for sweet treats actually, but also for the scents of cosmetics too! (And he does use a lot of that stuff). That is why Eeth usually smells of something nice, either caramel, or vanilla, or fruity etc.

This is often favorited by his colleagues on the Council, who definitely enjoy the pleasant aroma Eeth always brings with him to the Council meetings.

10. Energy drinks!

He got badly used to them during the Clone Wars era, because he really needed an additional energy resource when staying up all night brushing through various diplomatic documents and strategy plans. Caf wasn't much of a help because it just turned out to be not strong enough for the zabrak, so he eventually replaced it with cheap but more effective sweet energy drinks. It doesn't really matter to him which drinks to buy exactly, but the meiloorun-flavoured ones are among his favourites.

11. Form of lightsaber combat

Form III - Soresu!

I actually did a separate essay analyzing why Eeth’s form of combat is definitely Soresu, but if keeping brief: he uses Soresu mixed with some Ataru moves. Ataru was his initial style, advised by his master due to Eeth’s small complexion and natural agility & flexibility, but after changing his Jedi profile to a Consular he also adopted the main Consulars’ style - Soresu (usually called “the diplomat style”, “the most peaceful among the seven'' etc.). Koth’s Soresu moves can clearly be seen in the “Grievous Intrigue” episode in particular. Also Koth’s stance in the "Intrigue" is different from the famous Kenobi's "point-fingers" thingy simply because Eeth's pose is not an opening Soresu stance, but the brace-ready stance, which in Soresu is described as “having much in common with the "Ataru guard," with the hilt held at waist height on the dominant side in a two-handed grip for greater control, extended vertically upwards”

12. The double-bladed saber

Eeth wields a double-bladed saber almost as well as a regular one.

And in fact, it was Darth Maul who has inspired Eeth to try this kind of a weapon - after the High Council sent him to lead the investigation on the question of a zabrak sith on Naboo in 32 bby, he got genuinely interested in the possible perks of two blades in his Soresu and eventually mastered the double-bladed saber on quite a level. But he still sees this only as an interesting training option, but nothing more. So the double-bladed saber stays in the Temple and is used only in the Training Halls, but never on the battlefield.

13. An earring (yes, in the singular form)

Eeth has one of his ears pierced (right one), and he actually has several different earrings, mostly simple, like basic metal rings, which he usually picks every morning according to his mood. But to be honest, this earring thing is purely only for himself - because you can’t really see his ears under his usual three-ponytails hairstyle.

Though, he did abandon wearing earrings during the Clone Wars era - because since the war began and the potentially dangerous missions became more frequent, it wasn’t really a right place and time for such things, especially knowing that the Separatists can use some specific traps (like the ones they used to magnetize Jedi lightsabers on Lola-Sayu). The prospect of losing the whole ear due to such a trap is not the most pleasant one indeed.

14. HUGS (and other tactile activities)

Eeth very very VERY much loves hugs!

And for him, tactile contacts are more than just a way to feel comfortable - for him it's a vital part of the whole communication process. This issue dates back to his master, Kosul Ayada, who was a herglic (a race that is actually not very good at speaking Galactic Basic), and therefore helped himself with gestures and body language. And spending a lot of time around master Ayada, Eeth also got used to supporting his verbal dialogue by body language and tactile contact.

That is why while speaking Eeth actively gestures, grabs the other's hands, squeezes shoulders etc. And the hugs are his way to express sympathy and also to feel safe and appreciated!

15. Driving skills

Master Koth can drive, and actually quite well. And by driving I mean not spaceships, but smaller things that stay on land, like speeders.

And because he is a diplomat who often attends various meetings with senators and ambassadors, he also has a personal speeder, allocated to him by the Order for the ease of attending senator events and other diplomatic ocasions.

(But he does use it for other personal purposes too, because why not to, if there is an opportunity)))

(A panel of Eeth casually driving a speeder like a damn pro is one of my fav Eeth comics crumbs,,,,,,)

16. Singing

Eeth enjoys singing! But he usually keeps this thing to himself, making the quiet manthra-like singing a part of his meditative prep - it helps him to settle down his tangly thoughts a bit and tune his mind and body for the actual meditation.

(the hc was inspired by Hassani Shapi’s singing in one of his films, because Shapi’s voice is really beautiful and I’m sad they didn’t give him even a single line in the Phantom Menace when filming Koth’s Council scene)

17. Space soap operas...? (not so serious, sometimes treated as crack, but sometimes not)

Koth (secretly) likes soap operas on the late-night HoloNet, and often stays up to watch a new episode of something before going to bed. His favourite series is called “Lekkus of love” (my imaginary in-universe show I usually use in my sw writings) and it's about a twi’lek girl’s life, filmed in the style of our “Magnificent Century”, with lots of romantic intrigues and twists.

18. LOTS of feelings

Referencing the previous one - Eeth is very emotional, actually! Yes, he’s a Jedi and he knows how to keep his mind clear, but he’s still sensitive enough to actually cry over sad episodes of "Lekkus…" because “Poor Ai’sha, she worked so hard to get her man’s attention, but he still chose that togruta girl? This is outrageous, this is unfair! :ccc”

Also this can be in fact explained biologically. He's a zabrak, and zabraks are supposed to have a hot, blazing, higly-emotional nature (to match their home planet, Iridonia, wich is also boiling with acid seas and all that - otherwise they won't survive)

19. Podracing as a favourite sport

Eeth enjoys podracing. He first got into it back on Nar Shaddaa, when he heard a lot about racing and stuff from smugglers and bounty hunters (and at that time he even dreamed of becoming a cool podracer - but that was of course before he was taken to the Temple).

Now he doesn't dream of podracing that much, but still can and actually does enjoy watching annual championships via HoloNet. He also tries to keep in touch with the latest news in the podracing world (that interest he shares with the young Anakin Skywalker, and they do sometimes occasionally discuss podracing when they both have free time)

20. Horns

Eeth doesn’t really trust droids with trimming his horns, so he usually does that by himself, in the freshener, and that always takes a while. Also unlike a lot of male iridonian zabraks, who prefer to keep the tips of their horns comparatively sharp as a sign of their brutality and masculinity, Eeth chooses to make the tips humbly rounded and smoothed.

21. A pet? (Also not so serious - but sometimes it IS the most serious hc!)

Eeth has a pet loth-cat! The loth-cat is a she-cat, and she's big, fluffy and always on her own mind. Agen Kolar sometimes points out that the loth-cat is very similar to her owner in a lot of little things, like the way the cat purrs when being hugged and how she is obsessed with being clean and ideal too.

The loth-cat is also a bit jealous of her owner’s attention, so she will every time make herself comfortable on his knees when Eeth is meditating or working with documents to show that this is HER man. (especially when smb comes over to Eeth’s apartment - that's the case when she just NEEDS to state who’s the real boss here).

22. Participation in the first battle of Geonosis

I headcanon that Eeth was not directly on the Petranaki Arena actually during the first battle of Geonosis in the AOTC. Since he's not on-screen in that symbolic circle of survivors but is still stated as a participant, I assume that instead of being a part of the main group, Eeth joined Yoda on his trip to Kamino. Maybe not directly on the planet but still somewhere there, helping to gather clone legions to guide them to Geonosis.

(p.s. I know that Eeth's on-screen absence is because of Shapi being replaced with another actor and the new character turning out not at all alike to TPM Koth, but this little hc actually kinda fixes the hole without ruining anything…?))

[edengarden]

heyooo, could i request a normal BNHA matchup?

I’m a 5’2 gay male, black hair, freckles, green eyes, sort of on the chubby side? I sometimes wear glasses and either dress like a hobo, middle school boy, or femboy lol.

Anyways besides looks- I’m kind of,,, weird. I’m pagan, and I really like nature even though I’m kind of a germaphobe when it comes to being outside.I’m autistic so there's that, It’s usually hard for me to make new friends bc I come on rather,,, strong and hate the awkward first meeting phase. But when I do manage to make friends I’m always there for them in whatever they need and always do my best to help them through their problems (if they want) or just listen. I’m also selectively mute, but when I do talk I usually have a stutter, so I prefer to listen to other people talk. But when I do talk it’s usually about my special interests or something I'm into like Star Wars (a really big one atm), snakes, and the colour yellow. Speaking of snakes, I have a snake named Shigaraki and a tarantula named Princess :)

Some negative traits about me… I can be quite a jealous person. And I have these sort of sad episodes? I’ll kind of stay in my head and overthink waaayyy too much so that’s not fun. Oh another thing, I usually have a hard time telling when I should back off? Like I constantly worry about if I’m being ‘too much’ or if I should give my partner or friends some space. Oh and I’m reeallyy bad at bringing myself down and talking negatively about myself casually. And I’m hella self conscious lol-

Some things I enjoy,,, I don't do much besides work, but when I have free time I enjoy writing for my friend, story-based video games, and I really like cooking. When I have time to relax, I like to read manga and Harry potter, I don’t really read many new books anymore. Kinda random but I also enjoy knitting too lol. My hogwarts house is Slytherin, and I’m a capricorn :)

My music taste is… a bit complicated. On one hand, half of my playlist is Steven Universe songs, then I have stuff at every end of the spectrum like Dean Martin, Mother Mother, Savage Ga$p, Freddie Dredd, Corpse Husband, and a variety of J-Pop artists (don’t come for me, J-Pop is better than K-Pop), and a few random sorta indie songs scattered around my playlist. Atm my favorite songs are Verbatim, Escapism (from SU), Line Without A Hook, and Inertia.

What I look for in others, hmmm, I guess someone who can carry a conversation and is good at like, picking up on things ya know? Someone who can be really patient with me and stuff, someone who loves kids, oh and someone who’s willing to watch Star Wars with me, thats a big one lmao.

Something I’d avoid would be a disrespect of others boundaries, a really judgy person, like someone who hates on others or something they do for literally no reason, and someone who’s unnecessarily hateful to babies/toddlers/kids. Idk that one just bothers me a lot lol. And someone who gets frustrated easily, I grew up in a toxic and abusive household so thats a no go for me.

This ones kind of complicated but here’s my quirk!! I came up with it on my own so I really don’t know if someone has something similar,,,

Okay, so my hero name is Hallucino! Similar to Aizawa, my quirk activates when I look at/lock eyes with someone and the effect drops when I blink. So once they’re under the effects of my quirk, I can make them hallucinate and see any sort of setting I want. My signature setting/move is called Vertigo, it’s sort of a trippy LSD setting? So it makes the person nauseous and, well, like they have vertigo. I can create people in the hallucination, but it really wears me out and gives me a migraine. When they’re in that state they can't see the real world, and can faintly hear, but they can feel everything in the outside world. Anyways I think my quirk’s pretty damn cool.

(Wow thats so much I’m so so sorry-- also I hope it’s okay if I copy and paste this and request a Tokyo ghoul matchup? Your work is really amazing please take your time-- also sorry if it’s spaced weird I’m new to tumblr)

You can go ahead and copy paste for TG, yeah!!

Your quirk is AWESOME!! It sounds so cool 👁👄👁 I love it.

I’m matching you up with Mirio!

You got like, THE best person on your side?? An absolute ray of sunshine. He’s SO approachable, like even if he notices you’re a bit shy at first, then he’ll actively make sure that you feel comfortable around him. While buddy boy does that to everyone, he always looks forward to talking to you specifically. He LOVES when you start talking about the things that you love. He could just sit there, and listen and soak in all the information. And then when he reminds you that he WAS indeed listening by referencing to something, and your eyes light up? Mirio could cry.

I feel like this guy has little to no sense of personal bubble? I mean his quirk doesn’t exactly allow it, either... what I mean by this is that it takes a lot for Mirio to be scared off, so your autism? Not a problem, he’ll learn and he’ll be good to go. Your lack of ability to tell when to back off? He might never need to actually talk to you abt it, but if he does he knows exactly how to talk abt it in a way that won’t hurt you.

MIRIO INTERACTING WITH KIDS WILL GIVE YOU BABY FEVER I AM WARNING YOU. This guy is so sweet to kids and wowow- he’s so patient and kind and you see him at his best (and worst) and you’d fall for him so far, and sometimes you may find yourself wondering how or if he feels the same way towards you but what you don’t know is just like you’re watching him when his attention is somewhere else, he does the same for you. And if you could just see the lovesick expression on his face I swear- buddy is so deep in.

Songs!!! (Y’ALL ARE IN SOFT TERRITORIES BITCH)

- Love Like You, Steven Universe

- Sofia, Clairo

- Sad Song, Michael Barrow & The Tourists

- Soul Love, David Bowie

[jzixuans]

Hey, I've been feeling down recently and was wondering if you had any Logince headcannons. Platonic or romantic work, whichever you feel more comfortable with. Sorry if I'm bothering you.

aw lad don’t worry about bothering me i’m glad to share some headcanons ! i hope you feel better soon!

now, might i interest you in some childhood friends-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers logince? [PREPARE FOR A LONG ASS BULLET FIC I’M SO SORRY (google docs says it’s 4.2k words oh my god)]

they’ve known each other since the first grade because oh my god they were neighbours

they were the kind of childhood friends that were aware of each other’s presence and they hung out a little on the playground and worked on group projects but they didn’t really click

there WERE occasions tho where their parents would sit them down together for play dates bc one or more of said parents were Occupied with Important Adult Stuff

and since this was way back when they were wee lil smols, they were hyperactive lil children

so they played lots of adventure games, lots of role-playing, play fighting, that kind of stuff (twas often the dashing daring prince accompanied by his wise magickal advisor)

okay, so maybe they did click, but only a little (so they say)

they liked most of the same stuff, reading, learning, doing stuff with all that knowledge in those big brains of theirs, and that was pretty much the base of their close-but-not-that-close-friendship

and then they got older, and as all kids do, they started prioritizing different things

logan still loved learning and applying that knowledge, but it was more of a ‘learn and apply what knowledge can make you really successful’ and that was how he found his love of science

for roman, it was more of a ‘take what you’ve learned and use it to create your own path to success’ because he planned to go into music and theatre

as a result of this, both boys were exceptional students, except logan cared maybe a little too much about the academics and roman not enough

as the years went by, logan threw himself into studying, making schedules and routines so that he could make sure he knows what he needs to know and maybe a little bit more on the side, who cares if he lost an hour of two of sleep?

roman just learned to go with the flow, so he took everything in stride, took in what he needed, left the rest, and focused on his art instead, even if he’s started to grow an unhealthy apathy to school

and maybe logan falls just short of perfect on his tests, and he looks over and roman has glowing one hundreds in red ink on his

logan looks back down at his and the teacher has written ‘Think outside the box!’

meanwhile logan answers every question in class with scary accuracy, beaming with pride whenever the teacher praises him, and after school that same day roman gets pulled aside with an ‘I know you’re smart, so why don’t you want to put in the work?’

of course logan’s parents wonder why his grades don’t match his progress work, and roman’s parents wonder how he can spend all his time singing and dancing and still come out with high nineties (“is he cheating?”)

and the two have been drifting apart enough as it was, but now they kind of hate each other because ‘why can’t i just be more like him?’

logan starts hating roman because ‘he doesn’t even CARE, how is he doing better than me?’ (part of him misses the days when roman cared so much about anything and everything)

roman starts hating logan because ‘he’s so stiff and condescending, why can’t he just be happy for me?’ (and part of him misses when logan would so willingly stand by his side as his faithful warlock advisor)

so naturally, competition just kind of,,,, grows between them, until they’re constantly at each other’s throats and everyone else watching the shitshow go down has absolutely no idea where the hell all this animosity came from

at this point logan has a new friend in virgil fray and roman has befriended patton hart (virgil and patton know not to bring up the boys’ ‘rivalry’)

of course, being neighbours, they can’t exactly escape each other, and their rooms are adjacent to each other’s (they used to just lean out their windows and talk side by side, but they haven’t in yEARS)

so it’s nearing summer, and it’s hot out so roman’s working on his homework with the window open when he hears this cry of frustration, the angry pushing back of a chair, and the throwing open of the door

his first thought is one of smug satisfaction knowing that logan is dealing with school worse than he is, but then a flash of black catches his eye underneath his window

he makes it to the window just in time to see logan hop the fence in his backyard, and that only means one thing: he’s going to the old park behind their houses

neither of them have touched that park in ages

roman is Intrigued™, so he caps his pen, turns off his lamp and tells his parents he’s going for a walk before dashing out the back door

when he gets to the park, logan’s somehow managed to climb on top of the roof of the play structure

and roman ain’t slick so he just stands at the bottom and yells up to him

and logan is Lost In Thought so he nearly falls off (lbr roman thought it was funny)

“what are you doing here?”

“well excuse me, suck-rates, i happened to notice that you weren’t doing too hot and wanted to see if you were okay.”

“like you’ve ever cared.”

“woah there, is blink 180-ew rubbing off on you?” 

“lay off of him.”

“alright, alright, fine. forgive me for checking in on you.”

“you have a horrible way of showing people that you care, then.”

“well you have a horrible way of being a good friend.”

it just kind of,,,, slipped out, and now both boys are Oh Shit

but both boys are also not the type to back down from their feelings so they kind of have the Silent Stare-Off of Stubborness

roman decides to be the bigger person (bc any chance to one-up logan) and cave first 

“so uh, what’s been bothering you?” (psh you thought he was gonna apologize first? not yet fam)

logan rolls his eyes bc this asshole amirite, but he wants to vent and this is probably his best opportunity to tell roman what’s really been bugging him

“i don’t know how you manage to do it.” 

“do what?”

“do so well in school! you don’t even try!” and damn dude that one stings because he sounds exactly like his parents and every other teacher

“so you’re angry because you’re jealous that i’m better than you at everything.”

“that’s not what i meant and you know it.”

“i’ll have you know that i do try.”

“but you don’t care.”

“about school.”

“what?”

“i mean yeah, sure, i don’t care about school that much because i don’t really need it to go into music or theatre, but i still do my work.”

“but―”

“don’t you dare say anything about my grades because you know damn well that you’re smarter than me.”

“am not―”

“besides, weren’t you the one that told me in the fifth grade that ‘grades don’t mean shit’? my my, what a foul mouth for ten-year-old logan crane.”

“shut up.”

“nah.”

and by now logan’s decided that roman’s probably not going to rip his head off so he climbs down to stand beside him

and maybe the sun is setting bc i’m a classy romantic

and they’re having a Soft Quiet Moment

“…please don’t tell me that school was the only reason why u hated me.”

“… why did you hate me?” smh lo you’ve got to stop deflecting

“…”

“are you kidding me.”

“YOU STARTED IT”

“what no you did shut up”

and wOw now it’s awkward so 

“oh would you look at that, it’s getting late, my parents are gonna think that i’m slacking again, better go. good talk let’s do this again sometime okay byee” and whoop roman just zooms off

and logan realizes that maybe roman’s life isn’t as perfect as he makes it out to be

but too late roman’s gone and he doesn’t want to look like he’s following him so he waits a good half hour before trekking back home

logan doesn’t finish his homework that night because he’s too busy rethinking the past many many years

the next day, he’s frantically trying to cram his work in during his lunch period

virgil takes one look at him and he says “dude, are you okay?”

“no”

“cool, let me know if i can do anything to help.” and maybe it’s a cold answer but logan and virgil are cold edgy people so that’s just how they do

after like twenty minutes virgil takes out his earbuds like “you haven’t complained or sent one angry glare in roman’s direction what the fuck is up kyle”

“i’m just…. stressed.”

virgil, externally: “yeah of course i feel u dude.”

virgil, internally: “i’ve seen you start a project at 3am the morning it was due without breaking a sweat but go off i guess.”

skip to later that night, logan finished his shit (he needed a distraction from the Roman Crisis) so he leans out his window for some Fresh Summer Night Air

and oho would you look at that roman had that sa m e  i d ea

but it’s one of those clear nights where you can actually see the stars and logan just got roman off his mind so he’s a lil distracted

but of course roman notices and now that they’ve gotten some of their ‘rivalry’ out of the way, he remembers how much logan loved to drag him out to the park as late as they were allowed to stay up to watch the stars, and logan looks so at peace here (he’s only really seen logan’s angry face recently)

roman wants to say something, because part of him really wants to make up with logan

but before he can work up the courage he’s interrupted by his mom calling him

“roman! are you done all your work?”

“yeah, mom! almost!”

“you better be going to sleep early tonight!”

and roman is about to duck back inside before he gets yelled at even more but oh no too late logan’s already noticed and now he’s staring at him

“uh, hey.”

“hi.”

“are you, uh, are you feeling better?”

“for the most part, yes.”

“that’s good. look, uh, i gotta go, but i’ll see you at school?”

“oh, right, yes. good night, roman.”

“night, lo.”

roman falls back into his room with a crash because ‘oh my god why was that more nerve-wracking than any performance i’ve ever done?”

logan sinks back against his wall with a sigh because ‘is roman avoiding me now?’

the next day at school the two actually say hi to each other in the hallway and it’s like the entire world stops moving. students are staring and whispering, virgil and patton exchange looks, and logan and roman only just now realize how big their rivalry had gotten

the two lock eyes and burst into laughter because something as simple as a passing greeting in the hallway has turned the school on its head

and the rest of the school has absolutely no idea what just happened when the two part ways, virgil and patton trailing behind them, dumbfounded

they catch each other on the way home, though they walk in silence

that night, they’re back at their windows, side by side once more, and they exchange small talk

a couple weeks later, exams are coming up around the corner and both boys are stressed out of their minds

logan’s still working well past midnight when he hears the old creak of roman’s window opening

“i see your lamp. are you still up?” he hears roman whisper, and maybe it’s the late hour, but his voice is hoarse and wobbly, and logan is most certainly not used to hearing that

“that’s a ridiculous question, of course i’m still up,” logan replies, still not looking up from his computer because his history final project is due in two days

except roman doesn’t reply, and all he can hear from his direction is shaky laughter, and then a wet sniff

“of course i’m ridiculous. it’s not like i’m smart or anything.”

“what?”

“if i were smart i wouldn’t’ve procrastinated this english paper and i could probably be getting some sleep right now,” roman continues like he forgot that logan was there

“roman―“

“and sure, i can do other stuff, but it’s not like it matters or anything, not to my mom, or mr. schmitt, or you―”

“roman!”

roman’s babbling stops and logan worries that he’s scared him off until he looks up and sees roman leaning halfway out his window and now logan’s worried that roman’s going to fall out and break his neck on his patio

roman’s eyes are red and his nose is rubbed raw from crying. his usually-perfectly-coiffed hair is messy and greasy from running his hands through it, his clothes are rumpled, and his grip on the windowsill is trembling

yet he’s still half out the window, eyes comically wide, and logan can’t help but shake his head at how big a dork he is

“i’m sorry.”

roman’s so startled that his elbows buckle and he barely manages to land back in his room so he doesn’t fall (didn’t expect logan to apologize first, didya?)

he’s barely back out the window when logan starts talking again

“i shouldn’t have dismissed you so quickly. you are intelligent and you are capable and you absolutely didn’t deserve any of my anger or bitterness or hatred. for that, i’m sorry.”

roman is, SHOCKED, to say the least. when they were kids, usually it was roman who apologized first, if at all, logan only after being prompted to by parents or teachers (which might’ve contributed to their drifting apart)

“i’m― thank you.” 

there’s a pause because it’s late and logan is really really bad at this

“i’m sorry, too. i only really hated you because everyone kept comparing us. that wasn’t really fair of me.”

“i guess not.”

“so i guess we both agree that we’re both assholes.”

“essentially.”

“cool.”

“what were you going to talk to me about?” and roman has an ‘oh yeah’ because he completely forgot what he came out here for

“i guess i just missed doing this.”

“i did too.”

and they’re not completely in the clear, because they have years of hurt to clean up, but in that moment, they just sit and talk, and maybe missing one assignment amongst a whole year of perfect grades won’t hurt

they’re butts tired in the morning but neither of them regret it, regardless of virgil and patton’s comments of ‘how much sleep did you get last night? you look like you’re about to pass out.’

that weekend, their finals are all handed in, exams don’t start until the next week, and they’re both sick and tired of studying so logan invites roman over and they lounge in his star-speckled room, talking about everything and nothing

roman’s busy going through logan’s stuff (“what? i haven’t been in here since the summer before the seventh grade”) so logan has a free minute to just,, watch him, and he just now realizes how much he missed having this ball of energy in his life (in a positive way)

after that day, the tension between them is almost gone and conversations are so much easier (virgil and patton get to sigh in relief because ‘thank god, i love them, but they needed to get their shit together’)

but alas, exams approach and roman calls logan late one night, in tears and stressed beyond relief, begging him to meet him at the park (he would’ve called patton, but patton’s never really been under forced academic pressure, and logan’s just a smidge more familiar for him)

logan’s out of the house without another thought, and he sees roman sitting up on the monkey bars with his knees tucked up to his chest (‘oh my god roman don’t you dare fucking fall’)

“i’m sorry, you were probably sleeping, but i just needed to get out of the house and―”

“please don’t apologize for reaching out. what― what’s wrong?”

“i just can’t! my mom’s been threatening to pull me out of music if i don’t do well on this exam because ‘math is more important than music’ but i don’t know anything! i’ve been scraping by pretty well on tests but i can’t fucking study and none of the information is sticking and―”

“roman, you’re hyperventilating. you need to breathe―”

“don’t tell me what to do!” roman regrets this Immediately because logan recoils his hand like he’s been burned. great, just another thing to feel Bad about. “i-i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

if this was a month or two ago, logan would’ve had a scathing remark about roman’s inability to control himself but now he just places his hand back on roman’s shoulder and taps gently with his finger

“you remember that school assembly from grade nine? the one about mental health?”

“yeah?”

“can you do that breathing exercise?”

“probably”

ten minutes later, roman’s cried himself out and he’s stopped hyperventilating but he can’t seem to stop his hands from shaking

logan has absolutely no idea what to do but he’s seen patton do it before with some of the younger kids so he holds his arms out (v awkwardly) and goes, “would you― would it be― would a hug help?”

this gets a lil laugh out of roman because he’s trying and that’s adorable so now he’s cry-laughing into logan’s shoulder

“your mother sounds an awful lot like your horrendous dragon witch. i suppose we must simply team up to defeat her.”

roman draws away so fast he bumps into logan’s chin

“OH MY GOD YOU REMEMBER THAT”

“like i could forget it”

“oh my god”

“i mean, i wanted to, but those were… fun times.”

“hell yeah they were.”

“when’s your exam? i can help you study, if you want.”

“in about seven hours.”

“…change of plans, you’re coming back with me, you’re going to sleep for six, wake up, get a cup of tea, and we’re going to do a brief review before school.”

“…okay.”

so they walk back to logan’s house (roman makes sure to tack a note to his bedroom door for his parents, he’ll face the consequences later), and they just, collapse into a pile of leggy boi on logan’s bed (they were too tired to argue about formalities)

logan wakes up with roman clinging to his chest and he very sorely misses that warm cuddly heat but Nope he is Determined™ to help roman get that bread

so he wakes roman up, plops his notes down in front of him and tells him to flip through it while he goes to make breakfast

roman is a jittery Mess all the way up to the exam, but logan promises that he’d be waiting in the cafeteria for him (it was his lunch period’s exam day so he a Free Boi) and he leaves roman with a “you are more capable than you know. you already have everything you need to succeed. and no matter what, you are valid.”

two hours later, roman comes out and he has Zero Confidence in his results, but logan greets him with a clap on the shoulder and the reassurance that “at least you’re done with this.”

they meet up with virgil and patton and go for lunch, and oho, perhaps this is the beginning of a New Squad

at the end of the week, on exam review day logan’s waiting out in the hallway to go to his next class to see his results when he sees roman sprinting down the hall with the biggest grin on his face

“i got an 84!!! thank you, you beautiful blessed nerd!!” because honestly? roman expected nothing more than a 52 so this was a very pleasant surprise, and now roman’s hugging logan so tight that logan swears he heard his elbow pop

the other students of the school are still processing because it was literally only been a little over a month since they started talking to each other again, and anyone out of the loop just got hella whiplash

(and if this burst of happiness and gratitude left a weird, bubbly feeling in logan’s stomach, well, he’ll just keep that to himself)

the next few summer days are spent hanging out, in their rooms, at their windows, at the park, and sometimes, virgil and patton join them

sometimes they’re in roman’s room, roman typing away on his computer with a dozen open notebooks scattered around him while logan lays on his bed, and the two bounce ideas back and forth for the next adventures of the daring prince c and his faithful advisor logos

and then they’re two weeks into the summer break, virgil’s off visiting family in china for the next few weeks and patton’s in the caribbean, so they’re just aimlessly tossing a ball back and forth in roman’s room while they talk about their futures and stuff because “oh my god they’re gonna be high school  s e n i o r s  in the fall“ ((‘gee, blink, don’t u think that’s a lot of drama for 16 y/os?’ yes absolutely, shut up))

roman chucks the ball at logan, who catches it in one hand and he’s smirking and roman has to take a moment to catch his breath because ‘why was that so hot omg’

over the next couple weeks the two are basically joined at the hip, and when they’re not hanging out, they’re texting or calling each other and it finally feels like they’re really making up for lost time

at the same time, they may or may not be falling for each other and they have no idea what to do with these Feelings™ 

logan doesn’t know how to what to do because virgil is v aro and the only other person he can talk to is roman, whOM HE HAS A CRUSH ON

meanwhile roman is v frantically texting patton like bro pls call me as soon as u get back there’s a cute boy hELP

it’s nearing the beginning of august when the two go into town to get food and ice cream and they’re laughing and joking and waving melted strawberry ice cream in each other’s faces and they’re sitting on a bench when they lean in real close mid laugh and ‘oh no his face is rIGHT THERE’

they draw away real quick but both of them realize that ‘that wasn’t horrible?’ and they slowly look back at each other and ‘oh.’

“is this―”

“um―”

“is this― i mean if you want it to be ―  is this a date?” and roman holds his breath because ‘dear god, please say yes’

“i’d like it to be, yes.” logan is terrified because he does  n o t  want to fuck this up

except now roman has the biggest grin and he absolutely does not care that he’s got ice cream dripping onto his leg

roman tackles logan into a hug because ‘he’s on a date with logan fucking crane’

logan is thrilled because now he gets to keep this excitable ball of energy who’s made him smile and laugh more in the past couple months than he has in years

(no diss against virgil and patton, but they can’t relate to logan and roman as well as, well, logan and roman)

they both have ice cream on themselves but neither can be bothered to care at this moment because they’re so damn happy

even after they go home that night, they stay up real late at their windows, side by side, just appreciating the company

it’s the next day, and they’re at the park, the sun is setting ((listen,,,, it’s an aesthetic)) and they’re sitting on the swings, holding hands ((they’re in love, babey!!))

“are we… does this make us boyfriends now?” logan is a v technical, official terminology person, of course he’d be the one to ask

“if you want to be boyfriends.”

“i don’t think i’d be asking if i didn’t.”

“then yeah, yeah we’re boyfriends.”

logan walks back into his house with a giant smile, and he plays that event over and over and over again in his mind as he lies awake in bed that night

roman calls patton immediately

and they may or may not scream about it together

logan sends virgil a short text that goes along the lines of ‘roman and i are dating now’ but in real life he’s so giddy that his fingers shake as he types it out

they have their first kiss in roman’s bedroom a couple days later

when school rolls back around in the fall, they walk through the doors hand in hand

and now their rivalry is nothing but a legend that the seniors tell the freshmen whenever someone complains about ‘that one couple that keeps making out in the math wing stairwell, excuse me, i just want to get to class’