#can you tell i'm sane and normal about this guy

[hitorox]

grimmy/casper emotes i've made so far! f2u, no credit needed but HIGHLY appreciated <3 check my twitter for more frequent uploads of newer emotes i'll most definitely make.

[sad-drake-lyrics]

what my 65yo father has to say about antis:

let me preface this by saying, i literally wish i had what just happened on video to go viral on TikTok. i was shook by this conversation down to my bones; and if you could see my father - a loud old Italian man with dramatic hand gestures - say what he had to say, i think this shit would blow up. but as i was obviously not filming him while we were eating, i will have to relay to you the story with my words.

so i'm sitting eating dinner at the coffee table with my father while watching TV, as Americans often do instead of eating at the dinner table, and since the news was on he started telling me this story that had been recently mentioned on TV once again from maybe ten years ago (it was in 2014, you can read about it here) where these two 12-year-old girls killed one of their friends as a sacrifice to the Slender Man. yeah, real thing. fucked up.

and so my father told me about how they interviewed one of the killer's mothers, and when questioned about where her daughter's motive could've come from, she said something along the lines of: you know, when i was a kid, i was into Stephen King and horror - and so when my kid was into that kind of stuff, i didn��t think it was a big deal.

so, of course, my response was "yeah, being into that stuff isn’t a big deal at all - it's normal - but being a sociopath and murdering someone is not normal; it's fucked up. but there's nothing wrong with being into horror stories - they're just stories meant to entertain - it doesn't make you a murderer to enjoy Halloween - but it would if you put on a Michael Myers mask and went out and stabbed people." and, of course, like any sane person, my father agreed with me.

then, continuing this line of conversation, i started talking about the concept of how "fiction isn’t reality," and how a frightening amount of people don't understand that; and i literally started telling him about antis - people on the internet who attack and harass others over "problematic" or "inappropriate" fictional interests.

i used well-known pop culture examples like: if you're into Game of Thrones and like Jaime and Cersei together or wanted Jon and Daenerys to end up together (i didn't think he would process the term "shipping," but clearly by the end of this conversation i think i was wrong), that people (antis) will say things like "you should die," and that you "support inc*st in real life," and that "you're disgusting."

i also used the examples of "toxic relationships" in pop culture, like the Joker and Harley Quinn, or Kylo Ren and Rey, and how if you’re into those kinds of fictional relationships that people (antis) will say that you "support toxic relationships," and that you are "glorifying abuse," and that it all "must be what you really want and believe is right or good."

and my fucking 65-year-old father literally goes: "I don’t understand. It’s a TV show. Don't they know it’s fake?"

queue my jaw dropping to the fucking ground because i'm like. YES. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT PRO-SHIPPERS ARE TRYING TO SAY AND THESE PEOPLE DON'T GET IT.

he was flabbergasted, my pals. the shock in his eyes was incredible to behold.

and, oh boy, that isn't even the best part, guys.

my father then says, "Don’t tell me it’s like that with anime too?"

and i said, "it's worse with anime."

and i fucking swear to you - no joke, on my life and baby Jesus' cradle - again my 65-year-old father looks at me and says, “It’s a fucken cartoon."

... ... ...

... i can't ...

i can't end this post better than that.

[minniesmutt]

♱ ━━━━━━ 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋: 𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐍 

♱ ━━━ CONTENT: INDIRECT MENTIONS OF MURDER, GUN MENTIONS, THREATS ON READERS LIFE, MENTION OF PROSTITUTES, STD MENTIONS, NON-SEXUAL NUDITY, FINGERING, EXHIBITIONISM/VOUYERISM, QUICKIE, PROTECTED SEX ♱ ━━━ WC: 2.6K ♱ ━━━ PAIRING: CHAN X READER ♱ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog ♱ ━━━ a repost from my old blog

     “So, I fucked a mafia boss?”

     “More or less,” Changbin replied

     “That’s kinda hot,” Y/n shrugged

     “Congrats Chan, you didn’t scare her off,” Seungmin gave the leader a thumbs-up

     “Can I get an explanation on the ‘Chan’ part? That’s the thing throwing me off.”

     “Did you tell you his name was Chris?” Felix asked

     “That’s what Changbin and I heard last night, or, early this morning?” Jisung stated

     “That’s embarrassing, damn.” Y/n sighed

     “I can kick them out still,” Chan told her, praying she’d tell him too

     “No, I want more of an explanation.”     Y/n was persistent, that was for sure. Felix took to explaining the current situation; alias’, how they all met, fell into crime and violence together, etc. Leaving out what they actually had done and what they did every day. The club front and mentioned a few others they had because eight people running one club were suspicious.

     “Wow, okay that’s a lot,” Y/n sighed, taking in the information she had just given

     “Chan,” Changbin said

     “Yeah. You guys get to work.”     The words left his lips and the seven guys made their way out of the penthouse, leaving the two. Chan sighed and turned from where he stood next to the counter to stand between her thighs, hands pressing against the cold counter. Y/n wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer.

     “I didn’t plan to tell you any of this,” Chan brought one hand up to hold her chin between his thumb and pointer finger

     “Is this the part where you tell me I can’t go back to my regular life? That I know too much?” Y/n was half joking. She’d read a couple of mafia lover books before, if they were anything like real life, she could guess what was coming.

     “You either stay with us or we make you disappear.” The look in his eyes was serious. Y/n just smiled at him.

     “You know, normal people don’t smile when their life is on the line,” Chan notified her

     “Well, guess I’m not normal then. You’re stuck with me.”

     “Y/n, please tell me you’ve thought this through.”

     “What? Stay with a hot gang leader who’s very sweet and has some funny friends who are equally as attractive or die?”

     “You’d be giving up you’re whole life, friends and all, princess. We can’t risk you running to the police.”

     “Chrissy, babe. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m not entirely right in the head. I don’t think a sane person would be as calm as I am about this whole thing. I swear I won’t go to the police or tell my friends about this. Most they will know if you’re a club owner and ask for free drinks. Do you want me to make a blood oath to you or something?”

     “No, you don’t need to go that far. It’s… It’s a lot more than me.”

     His head dropped as well as his hand. Laying on her thigh, “You wouldn’t be the first person we’ve brought into this. It usually doesn’t end well when they agree to stay.” 

     “Hey,” Y/n grabbed his face and made him look at her, “What aren't you telling me?”

     “Besides that, my friends are just as smitten with you as I am, if you stay with us you are going to get caught up in everything.”

     “That seems like a given. But I think eight hot men are good bodyguards.”

     “Just how fucked is that pretty little head of yours?”

     “I'm sure you'll figure it out soon,” Y/n pulled him in for a kiss.

     Chan laughed a bit as he kissed her back, gripping her hips, and pulled her closer to the ledge of the counter. Y/n pressed her torso up against his bare chest, hands wandering down to his shoulders and gripping his biceps. “You sure you wanna stay?” Chan pulled away from her lips.

     “Yes, Chris. Now stop worrying and fuck me again.” 

     Chan smiled, “You know, the guys are gonna want you too, right?” he leaned in and kissed down her neck

     “I don’t mind getting passed around,” Y/n chuckled, “But can you share?”

     “I can,” Chan answered, snaking and hand from her hips to under his shirt.

     He pushed his finger between her folds and let his thumb slowly run circles along her clit. Y/n laid her head back on the cabinet behind her as he pushed two fingers inside of her, slowly pumping them in and out of her.

     “Fuck Chrissy.”

     “Love when you call me that,” His voice was muffled against her neck. 

     “Chan! Do you not have you’re fucking phone on you!” Minho’s voice rang

     Chan sighed, not once even stopping his ministrations on her, “What is it now?”

     “Felix got into the cameras at the docs. A bunch of lower-grade thugs go—” Minho walked into the kitchen, “Before I go further, what are we doing with her?”

     “She’s staying with us,” Chan didn’t miss the smirk on his friend’s face.

     “Well, lower-grade thugs got their hands on some bigger-grade guns and ballistics—” Minho explained the situation but Y/n wasn’t paying much attention as Chan slipped a third finger into her and pressed harder on her clit. Chan’s attention wasn’t even on her anymore, he was fully involved in his conversation with Minho. She bit her lower lip to keep her moans at bay.

     “Don’t be quiet on the count of me kitten,” Minho stated, smirk returning to his face.

     Her eyes flickered over to the other man. The moment she caught his gaze, she clenched around Chan’s fingers. Minho’s eyes drifted across her body as he continued speaking with Chan. Eyes lingering just a tad too long on her exposed thighs. 

     “Find the guys and call me, I’ll handle it from there.”

     “You going to have your phone on you this time?”

     “Yes, now go.” 

     Minho smiled, leaving the two of them. Chan turned his attention back to the woman in front of him. His lips went back to her neck while his fingers picked up the pace inside her. 

     “You like being watched when you’re getting fucked,” Chan chuckled 

     “Don’t know what you mean.” His fingers left her seconds later, making her whine

     “I felt you clamp around my fingers when Minho walked in. Don’t play dumb,” Chan pulled himself out of his pants.

     “I could say the same for you. You didn’t stop fingering me when you were talking to him,” Y/n added as he opened a drawer and rummaged around before pulling out a condom, “Do you just conveniently keep condoms in your kitchen?”

     “You never know where you’re gonna fuck, might as well be prepared,” Chan smiled as he tore open the wrapper, rolling the rubber onto his cock

     “Thought you didn’t bring others home.”

     “Princess, we’ve all used prostitutes before,” Chan explained as he pulled her down from the counter, turning her around so his back was against his chest.

     Before she could even comment, Chan pushed into her in one fell swoop. Y/n let a high-pitched moan fall from their throat as leaned forward, putting her hands on the counter in front of her. Chan smiled, holding onto her hips and leaning forward, “So pretty,” he whispered against her neck

     He pulled back and thrusted back into her, not at a slow pace but also not at a fast pace. His lips left kisses along her neck, hands traveling away from her hips and pushing the t-shirt up. 

     “Faster,” Y/n groaned as his hands groped her breasts. 

     “Not yet princess,” Chan chuckled and his fingers tweaked her nipples

     Y/n gripped the marbled counter as her head hung low, deep shallow breaths falling from her lips, slightly pushing herself back onto him, meeting his steady thrusts. 

     “Trying to fuck yourself on me, Princess?” Chan gave her one rough thrust that stopped all thoughts in her head

     Chan was quick to learn last night the effect he might have had on her. Now he was certain of it and it made him smile. 

     He stood straight behind her and grabbed her hips again. He pulled back to the tip and quickly and roughly fucked back into her. Laughing at the curses that fell from her mouth. One hand moved down from her hips to rub her clit. The bit of pressure made her walls clamp around him and the knot in her stomach tightened faster between his thrusts and his fingers.

     Chan’s thrusts were making it hard for her to do— let alone think of —anything. Hands slipping from the counter a bit, taking Chan’s notice. He moved his other hand up from her hip up to the column of her throat. He had a loser hold there as he pulled her back against his chest. Y/n grabbed onto his arm to ground herself, just a little.

     “Even prettier like this,” Chan chuckled before she came undone on his cock. Chan thrusted up a few more times before coming in the condom. 

     Both caught their breaths before Chan pulled out and tossed the condom in the garbage. Y/n leaned against the counter before she was scooped up into his arms and carried back into the large bedroom. 

     “Don’t forget your phone or Minho will kill you,” Y/n giggled as he brought her into the bathroom 

     “I’d like to see him try,” Chan replied. He set her down on the counter before turning on the facet in the tub. Chan stepped out momentarily and came back with both their phones. 

     “Oh shit. Where was mine?” Y/n asked

     “On the floor in your bag by my bed,” Chan answered

     “Didn’t know I dropped it last night. Whoops,” Y/n grabbed her barely alive phone to check her messages 

     “We were both busy,” Chan smiled as he kissed her neck before going back to fix the bath for them. 

Karina: Im so fucking pissed. That dick was terrible last night and now I’m hungover as fuck Seana: I’m assuming none of us came last night then Karina: probably not Y/n? Did you go home with anyone last night

     It was pretty obvious that her two friends she was hanging out with had just gotten home. “Am I allowed to tell my friends I fucked the club owner?” Y/n asked

     “As long as that’s all you say,” Chan replied

     Y/n smiled at him. 

Y/n: I did!  Seana: oh bitch. who? Y/n: the owner 🤭

     Chan came up and stood between her legs and watched her screen 

Karina: no way! I don’t even think the employees have seen the owner. How do you know the guy wasn’t lying? Seana: someone’s jealous 🙄 Karina: im just saying. it’s unlikely 

     “Karina seems like a bitch,” Chan noted

     “She’s been worse.” Y/n sighed

Y/n: If this penthouse is anything to the money that club brings in 👀 Seana: YOU’RE STILL THERE Y/n: He knows how to make a girl cum and I didn’t have to tell him to put a condom on. fuck yes I’m still here Karina: damn. didn’t wanna go raw 🙄 Seana: that’s why you have an std, dumbass Karina: UNCALLED FOR??? Y/n: gtg. talk later 😉 Seana: have fun babe 😉 Karina: does he have friends?

     “I stand by my previous statement,” Chan said as Y/n set her phone to the side

     “Yeah. I just keep her around for entertainment at this point.” 

     “Bath’s ready Princess.” Chan slid his hands under the t-shirt she had on

     “Join me?” Y/n asked, hands wandering down to his sweats

     “Of course,” Chan slipped the shirt off and tossed it to the ground. Y/n pushed his pants down before he took over. Y/n hopped off the counter and Chan guided her over to the tub.

     He got in first and laid back against the porcelain as she got in and laid against his chest. His arms wrapped around her body. 

     “How do you feel about working in the club?” Chan asked after a few moments

     “Gonna make me a bottle service girl?” Y/n chuckled

     “No. People talk, I need you to listen. You’ll have a front job in management as well. You’re here, I might as well put you to use,” Chan explained 

     “Being you’re fuck toy isn’t a job?”

     “You’re human, princess. Not a doll for us to play with whenever we want.”

     “What exactly would I be doing for all of you then? You mentioned the others wanting me.”

     “We haven’t explicitly talked about it, but from the way they were looking at you earlier, I figured they’d all taken a bit of an interest in you. If I’m correct and they are, you’d be shared between all of us. In return, we’ll provide you with everything you need.”

     “Like a sugar baby? That’s what this sounds like to me.”

     “Whatever you want to call it love. But, you’ll also be an informant for us. Men don't talk to us but give them a pretty face offering a drink and they’ll spill anything.”

     “But don’t sleep with the enemy? Come back to each of you every night?” 

     “Hm. Not every night. I’ll provide you with your own place in the building, we’ll all have free reign to your place as well, but you’ll have the same to our places as well. Some may be a bit more clingy than others so beware.”

     “Do you own the building too?”

     “Yes. It is usually the eight of us that just live here, but now,” Chan leaned down and kissed her shoulder, “You’ll be here.”

     “Sounds like fun.”

     Chan smiled, kissing up her neck before his phone rang. Chan got up from the tub and stepped out. He made his way over to the counter and picked up his phone. “Hello?”

     Y/n enjoyed the warm water, sinking lower. Relaxing her muscles from all they’d been through last night and this morning.

     “Alright. Get over to mine to watch Y/n, I’ll head down there.”

     Her head popped up at the mention of her name. “Where are you going?”

     “Work. Minho and Jisung are coming down to take care of you until I get back. I’m sure Minho will give you some more details on the arrangement,” Chan grabbed a towel to dry off and walked out of the room to get dressed, “I’ll have them take you to your place to pack up what you need. I should be done by the time you get back to have your new place set up,” Chan called from inside the room

     “Alrighty,” Y/n spoke, washing herself off. Chan brought in a clean t-shirt for her and cleaned up the clothes on the floor before he kissed the top of her head, “I won’t be long princess.”

     “Have fun,” Y/n replied. Chan patted the top of her head as he walked out of the bathroom. He sent a text to his two friends telling them to take her to pack her things. He made a quick stop in his closet again to grab his gun from its safe. 

     He made sure it was locked again before he left his room. Minho and Jisung walked in from the elevator. 

     “She’s still washing up,” Chan told them as he headed to the elevator. 

     “Got it, boss,” Jisung said

     “I told her about the arrangement as well.”

     Both the men smiled at the mention. They could have some fun with this.

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[danieyells]

I don't know if you've done it yet but I would like to request Ren lines? I'm having tokyo debunker Ren brainrot bro 😭.

@otomelover23

You're all very welcome! I love you guys too, so far! Sorry you've been deprived of lazy boi lolol HOPEFULLY THESE SATISFY YOU A LITTLE BIT.

He's a little tsundere I think. He's one of those characters who just wants to be normal but he can't just pretend to be normal because he lives surrounded by chaos so he just complains a lot lolol. . .but i think he's a good guy. Aside from that he does not help his mother captain at all.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"Great, shift change. I'm gonna head out then... What? Do I really need to be here for that?"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"I think you've got a notification... Aren't you going to look at it?"

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"Who did I disappoint in a past life to end up in Jabberwock... There's no general students or even a single other sane person, and these jumpsuits are a crime..."

"Why do I have to look after all these weird-ass animals? This is forced labor...  Ugh, they're so gross..."

"If you're just gonna stand there, could you go feed the animals in the aquatic zone?  I'm too busy."

"Ugh, why is that clown calling me... ... Whatever, I'll just let it ring out."

you know damn well that if you don't answer the phone you're gonna have to deal with Haru in person. Better to just answer it.

"Oh, hey... Could you open the link I sent you? No, you don't have to sign up or anything. Thanks."

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"Ugh... Tell me how I'm supposed to sit through classes when I've been up since 4 AM? (yawn) I'm exhausted..."

well if you didn't stay up until 4am--oh who am i kidding i stayed up til like 3 watching a stream and reading datamine stuff and then I got up at like 6:30 to get ready for work I'm no better kekw.

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Ugh... I can't believe I'm hiding right now... Why the hell does that clown have to chase me around at lunch time too?"

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Preach about doing it for the sake of your friends or the animals or whatever all you want— I really don't give a shit. People who say that stuff are just deluding themselves."

i've known people with this kind of cynicism before. once he finds people care about him and a little more stability he'll come around a little more.

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Huh? I can't see that clown anywhere... Hell yes. Gonna get through my watch list. I hope he never comes back."

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I'm grinding this game on my phone, so could you not talk to me for a while? Crap, I think my RSI is flaring up..."

in Japanese he specifies tendonitis haha

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Don't people get embarrassed calling out those words when they use their stigmas? It makes them look like LARPers..."

in japanese he says they sound like they have chuunibyou which is much funnier imo lmao. also i guess that means he can say his in his head? since he'd feel embarrassed doing it aloud, maybe he's practiced already lol

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"You think I sigh a lot? Got a problem with that? You realize trying to take away people's freedom of speech is power harrassment, right?"

you're starting to sound like ritsu. gonna hurt yourself reaching like that.

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm so done... I'm out of HP... Shouldn't I be exempt from missions and classes since I'm looking after all those animals?"

well based on one of Haku's chats, you can just do missions if you don't go to class, and based on Kaito you can just go to class instead of doing missions. . .but I'm sure Haru forces him on missions anyway lol. . . .

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Pfft... The video of that clown getting attacked by that hawk thing is getting so many interacts. This editing thing's actually pretty fun."

does editing count as a creative effort? i wouldn't be surprised if he switched to Hotarubi next year if so, assuming he doesn't get used to Jabberwock and the animals. Also why didn't he get stopped by Sophy for uploading a video with an anomaly? Unless he uploaded it to an Institute social media site like WickHive or something. . . .

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Gotta change the locks so that clown can't get in again. I've bought enough padlocks to start my own business by now..."

life haru finds a way. sometimes that way is "towa, break down the door" if he runs out of lockpicking equipment.

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"My head's killing me... This is the worst... Rise and shine! my ass... It's basically still the middle of the night. Guess I should padlock my windows..."

5-6am I can understand being 'basically the middle of the night' but after that you're pushing it lmao

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"The cafeteria's way over capacity... The assholes who save seats before its even noon are ruining it for everyone else..."

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Why's my pay so low... huh? What's this deduction for? "Consultation Fee: Ritsu Shinjo..." He's seriously charging me for complaining...?"

Ritsu charges for looking at him too long. i'd try venting on wickhive over complaining to Ritsu.

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"That rabbit sure has it good. All it has to do is breathe and everyone fawns over it. Doesn't even have to feed itself. Just wait till it grows up and learns what the world's really like."

WELL BASED ON THAT THE ADULT PEEKABOO WAS STILL BEING FAWNED OVER AND HARU HAD TO STOP PEOPLE FROM PETTING IT BECAUSE IT BITES. . .IT'LL PROBABLY STILL HAVE IT GOOD. Haru takes good care of the animals.

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Sup... Huh? I'm alone today. I just got up on my own since if I don't that clown'll wake me up anyway."

yeah? it's because of haru? not because of your affinity with the pc being more than half so you wanna be up earlier to spend more time with them? sure.

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Oof, nearly missed the noon raid...  Not like I'll have any time to myself once I get back to the dorm, so I guess I should do it now..."

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"No, I'm not going to sleep yet. I'm gonna watch a horror B-movie. You don't have to think, so they're the perfect thing to watch before bed."

i used to watch/listen to mts3k to go to sleep so. i feel this.

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Well done me for surviving another day... Oh, same to you too, {PC}. I don't how you can do this stuff voluntarily."

SOME PEOPLE JUST LIKE ANIMALS DAWG.

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Huh? I'm going to the campus store to buy some stuff, where are you going? Well, I'm going that way, so...bye."

not sure if shy or asocial lmao. could be both!

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"You're being forced to help out again? Wow, a doormat out in the wild. So? Where do you want me to carry all this food?"

he's helping you even though he doesn't wanna work. HE'S GOT IT BAD.

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"This? It's a video I uploaded. People seem really into it. It's of that clown getting chased by a dog and flailing around like one of those inflatable air dancers."

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"What am I doing today? Working at the diner. Oh, if you want to keep me company, feel free to come by. As long as you serve yourself."

it's not a date or anything since he's at work but like. . .he is inviting you to hang out. . . .

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Huh? You were waiting for me to get off work? Oh... Thanks. Wait, that clown put you up to this?! I'm gonna kill him..."

NO NO WE CAME HERE WILLINGLY probably. although it does seem like Haru to be like "oh hey Ren really really likes you, you should go pick him up from work! he'd love that!!" like a real nosy mom who's trying to get his son together with his crush.

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"When did it get this late? That was horrifyingly fast... I'll walk part of the way back with you. I was gonna go buy something to drink anyway..."

excuses, excuses. . . .

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"Every day here is a fresh hell, sure, but... You're suffering through it with me, so I guess I'll stick it out a little longer..."

'this sucks but you make it suck a little(a lot) less so i can keep going'. yep, that's our tsundere alright!

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"That clown's even more slap-happy than usual lately—it's horrible. Has he got spring fever or something?"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Otonashi keeps trying to make me drink some kind of rice porridge with weird flowers in it... It's actual porridge harassment."

considering the flower Towa associates with Ren is poisonous, i think it's safe to assume he is literally trying to poison him to death lmao. also wtf is porridge harassment--i even tried looking it up in japanese and the first thing that came up was someone screenshotting it and saying "what is porridge harassment" lolol

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"All this farm labor's bad enough without all the caterpillars and weird plants that are out there now...This is harassment."

what's harassing you, nature? as someone who just had to kill a huge mosquito that came into my room, nature is harassing me too.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I hate cherry blossoms. They're like the flower version of being a legacy kid— all they have to do is bloom once a year and everyone claps."

in japanese what he says is something like 'i hate them just like people born with silver spoons in their mouths'. basically he hates people born into privilege lol i bet he'd have the potential to get along well with haku until he learns he'll be inheriting a shrine. . .then again he's getting along with Ritsu in their own little way

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"This is the worst... It's not even noon yet, how is it so hot? Summer is for extroverts and party animals, I wish it could just be over already..."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"A group trip to the beach? I'd rather die. No decent person would ever go there of their own free will."

butbutbut. think of the summer skins!!!

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Summer was our busy period back home, so I always had to kill myself helping out. Now I'm here though... nothing's changed."

. . .did Ren's family run some sort of seaside shop??? And he happened to end up afraid of the ocean and hating aquatic creatures and such?

(between 8pm and 5am)

"How can the A/C be banned in the dorm...? Who gives a shit what temperature some anomalous animal that sneaks in prefers, humans should come first..."

okay i agree with him here though what the fuck kind of rule is that. can we talk to hyde about that, that's insane haru.

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Now it's getting colder, I nearly found myself feeling grateful for this tragic jumpsuit... Am I being brainwashed...?"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Fall, the season of the harvest—I'll stick with cup noodles, thanks. "Fall, the season to enjoy the outdoors"—screw that. I'm gonna make it the season of naps."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Look—I got bitten by some weird bug anomaly. To hell with the stupid bug spray ban, I'm buying some."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I feel like the mountains are rowdier when there's a full moon. Pretty sure my enemy encounter rate goes up when I'm on patrol too... Maybe I'm just imagining it."

is 'enemy encounter rate' here referring to people or anomalies. . .because if it's people then that's just because of tsukimi. . .although I wouldn't be surprised if there were a lot of anomalies or anomalies were more active on full moons.

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"There's less patrols in winter but anything involving water like washing up gets even worse... Ugh, I wish I could hibernate too..."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Since the climate in Jabberwock's so messed up, sometimes it's actually warm in winter. The blizzards are way stronger though..."

have you tried pissing towa off less?

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Oh god, I just saw what's in the diner's new Mystery Hot Pot... It's gotta be a matter of time before this place goes bust..."

i mean if they had ordinary health inspectors maybe lolol

(between 8pm and 5am)

"That clown broke my window so my room's like a freezer... Oh, don't worry. I just took his room instead."

lmao imagine Ren invites you to hang out and takes you to Haru's room instead of his like nah he broke my window so i'm using his room and he can freeze.

His birthday: (July 25th)

"You got this for me? That clown's been spreading my personal info around... No, it's fine, I'll still take it. Thanks."

i guess he doesn't really tell people his birthday, huh.

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday, {PC}. ...Isn't it kind of rude to look so surprised I'd celebrate your birthday? That came from the heart, you know."

I MEAN YOU NORMALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING. . .it's happy surprise!!!

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year. My resolution? Escaping the hell hole that is Jabberwock, for starters."

well you got here in like September or something so. you've got a while befor eyou can switch houses lmao but you can do it this year!

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"You got me chocolates? You're the type who does all this kind of stuff, huh? No, it's fine, you went to the trouble and everything so I'll take them."

i love when characters kinda mock you for doing getting them something but then they're like "nonono i want it gimme--" lolol from Ren especially it's very tsundere. poor guy wouldn't be straightforward about his feelings unless a damn life was on the line.

White Day: (March 13th)

"{PC}... Here, if you want them. I just bought the first thing I saw, so don't read into it..."

i bet it's actually really nice lolol

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Guess what? I got special permission to switch houses. That nightmare is now behind me! I wish..."

Halloween: (October 31st)

"I hope everyone who gets excited about Halloween lives in misery for the rest of their lives. Why the hell do I have to help out with this stupid themed tour?"

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Can I ask you a question, {PC}? You don't still believe in Santa Claus, do you? Never mind, it doesn't matter. Have a good Christmas."

i mean. . .after coming here santa is a plausible entity to believe in. . .if there's gonna be a santa i don't wanna be caught not believing and missing out on gifts. . . .

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Where'd she go...? Whatever. Guess I'll catch up on some of my games."

(13 affinity and above)

"Pfft... This edit's awesome. I'm a genius. I'll show {PC} when she gets back."

true bonding is sharing the funny memes you worked hard on. . . .

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"It's not like I was waiting for you or anything. It's just this hell hole is even more unbearable when you're not around..."

YEP THAT'S OUR UNFORTUNATE CUSTOMER SERVICE EMPLOYEE TSUNDERE ALRIGHT. His lines don't really get super affectionate but. They still have a charm to them when you realize how much he hides his feelings in the usual tsundere way. He likes you a lot but like. . .it's a bother and it's embarrassing. . .and what're the chances you're into him? He'll just invite you over to watch movies and play games with him and stuff. . .and tell himself it's fine to just be friends until it eats away at him. . .or until Haru spills the beans for him--

this took way too long because i got distracted like three times in the middle and my laptop started freaking out and i had to figure out why and close and reopen everything about 8 times hahaha. . . . OKAY TIME FOR ME TO GO TO BED! I hope this satisfies you a little bit!!

[snarp]

Real True Law Stories

This is heavily-paraphrased because 1) it happened a while back, and the conversations were longer and involved a lot more of me going "no! no! augh," and 2) the case was not actually about Ale-8 bottles, but its actual focus was similarly-specific, which would have made it really easy to look up.

Dad: Can you value a collection of old Ale-8 bottles for me, honey?

Me: ...possibly, but I'm not going to. Is this a blasting case again? Did someone's designated used Ale-8 bottle shelf fall over?

Dad: No, they got stolen. He had this shed or big closet or something totally full of collectible Ale-8 bottles, he's got all these insurance photos, he'd had them appraised by the national Ale-8 bottle expert -

Mom: Dear...

Dad: No, he's definitely really upset about these lost Ale-8 bottles! He's traumatized! Do you think I don't deal with liars? ...He thinks his estranged drug-addict relative stole the Ale-8 bottles.

Me: No. That did not happen.

Mom: That's probably not what happened, dear.

Dad: Drug addicts steal stuff all the time, what is this -

Me: Dad, no, this is fucking logistically -

Dad: - don't, I'm telling the story, stop it - "logistically" -

Me: A drug addict would not steal and hock a huge collection of Ale-8 bottles! They're heavy and fragile and that's a ridiculous specialist hobby, logistically it'd be way too -

Mom: The bottles were definitely stolen, dear?

Me: Why wouldn't you just steal, like, the TV? Or the car or whatever?! You don't steal the Ale-8 bottles!

Dad: They were stolen! He was gone! He'd had a fight with this person, he couldn't get back into the house for a while, he came back and the bottles were gone, he was heartbroken!

Me: No! You don't steal the collection of Ale-8 bottles, that's not what you steal!

Dad: No, they knew he really liked these bottles, it was revenge or something? Seriously, he keeps asking me why I can't make the police go and arrest this person and find out where they put the bottles, he's really angry! He misses his bottles.

Mom: *sigh* Okay, dear. So the Ale-8 bottles were stolen and insurance won't cover them.

Dad, to Me: So you're going to try and value the Ale-8 bottle collection for me. It'll be easy.

Me: I am not.

Dad: He has a spreadsheet.

Me: No. - You said he already had it appraised!

Mom: Before the Ale-8 bottle heist...

Dad: He did! I mean. There's this guy who writes Ale-8 bottle valuation books, he lives - somewhere, and the client knows him over, I guess, an Ale-8 bottle club? Ale-8 bottle mailing list? On the internet. - and he came on this road trip to just look at these Ale-8 bottles in the guy's shed or closet! Does that make sense?

Me: If this is an actual collecting hobby that other people engage in, and not a scam - if Ale-8 bottle collecting is something that's real - then yes, that's normal if you've got a valuable collection, I guess? How much did he say all these Ale-8 bottles were worth, is this even a sane case to be taking if he's telling the truth?

Dad: [a very large number]

Mom, who has been quietly thinking about this while we do our manzai routine: Well, there are definitely other Ale-8 bottle collectors, honey. [name] likes them, I think?... That seems awfully high. He had them in a shed? Like a garden shed?

Dad: I've seen the book! He showed me the Ale-8 bottle book! It was a shed or a garage or a side room or something. They weren't outside.

Me: If what you're trying to figure out is whether this guy and the appraiser are for real, I'd just... look around online and make sure there are actually people buying and selling these things, and talking about them to the extent he says there are, I guess?

Mom: If there's a real community and a real buyer base.

Dad: The Ale-8 bottle book had numbers in it, like values.

Me: The numbers don't mean anything if his buddy wrote the book and if they're the only two people who care about Ale-8 bottles!

Dad: You know, you're awfully suspicious of these Ale-8 bottles...

Me: It's a completely ridiculous story. - You're suspicious of them, too! That's why you even asked me to value Ale-8 bottles!

Dad: You're just not a trusting person. You're paranoid. You know, I trust all my clients completely -

*My Ale-8-bottle-related-outrage HP drops too low and I die.*

Mom: No. What she's saying is that their book value -

Dad: Yeah, that's the word, their book value! Like a Kelley Blue Book value for a car, that's what this other guy does, he does the Blue Book for the bottles. So all I have to do is show the insurance company the Kelley Bottle Book, right?

Mom: No.

Dad: It's fine! The insurance company will be completely cooperative. What are they going to complain about, it's right there in the book.

Mom: Does the book reflect the market values of the bottles? The street values? Are these the prices that people pay on eBay or wherever when they're buying the bottles?

Dad: I don't know.

Mom: Are they the prices he paid for them?

Dad: I don't know. Probably.

*I finish my corpse-run and resurrect.*

Me: There's got to be an actual market for there to be market prices. People who buy the things and have opinions about how much they're worth and stuff.

Dad: Can you research that for me, honey? Research the Ale-8 bottle market?

Me: I'm not going to do that. You have [name] in the office, right? You are paying her money to do this stuff for you, correct?

Dad: You never want to help me. Help me research Ale-8 bottles. I don't know why my daughters never help me.

Mom: And then you have to prove all this stuff to the judge and jury. Will they believe that Ale-8 bottles are worth anything?

Me: Please show us how you will emotionally convince the jury that these Ale-8 bottles are worth money. Make it sound like you're really sad about the loss of the valuable Ale-8 bottle collection.

Dad: Nnnno! *laughs* Oh, my god, they're such bullshit! They're these little bottles! And he had zillions of them! He must have some sort of trauma in his past, I'm going to ask [Psychiatrist Who Acts As An Expert Witness In PTSD Cases] to examine him... - Well, this is some southern thing, like the little toy stock cars that guy had. I don't know, maybe a southern jury will buy it?

Me: Say that "a jury of your peers" means "a jury of Ale-8 bottle collectors."

Mom: Yeah, hope you get a collector on the jury or on the bench.

*- several months later -*

Dad: So do you want to hear what happened at court the other day? With my Ale-8 bottle guy?

Me: You're going to tell me about the Ale-8 bottle guy regardless. Did it turn out to be insurance fraud?

Dad: No, actually! - well, I don't know. "A reasonable doubt for a reasonable price!"

Mom: Dear.

Dad: So obviously the insurance guys are like, "this is bullshit! It's bullshit! Ale-8 bottles aren't worth anything, the whole thing is bullshit!" And I'm like, okay, well. And they don't want to go to mediation, and they give us this lowball number to settle, and, obviously, no.

Dad: So we go in front of Judge [X] the other day, and I'm like, *solemn expression* "Judge. My client has had his extremely valuable Ale-8 bottle collection stolen, and his insurance will not pay for it even though he had it personally appraised by The Ale-8 Bottle Man."

Me: Who is his buddy and who may well be artificially inflating the prices of stuff he and his friends have a lot of, sure.

Dad: You don't know that!

Mom: And opposing counsel said…?

Dad: So, [Other Lawyer], he got up there and he was like, "Well, Judge, I mean. Ale-8 bottles, right? They're Ale-8 bottles." And they start - but then the judge goes, "Actually. I wanted to say, I was looking over the documents in this case. And, well, I've got a bit of a collection myself - I've got the - 1492 Foofrall-something Bottle and a mint-condition Bluh-buh-buh Bottle, and" and then he just sits there and lists all these Ale-8 bottles he's got for like, several minutes.

Me: Is this a joke. Did this actually happen.

Dad: It happened! It did happen!

Me: Mom!

Mom: I know, dear. It happened. He is not making this up.

Dad: So I get out of there and I go over and talk to opposing counsel, and just! The looks on their faces! They looked so defeated.

Me: They've got to be really suspicious of you right now.

Mom: "Is this why he took the case? Did he know?"

Dad: No! I had no idea! I was just as flabbergasted as they are, I've never heard him - okay, did you know this terrible fact about Judge [X]? Did you know he was one of them? The Bottlers?

Mom: I did not know this. I knew that he golfed.

Dad: So, long story short, I kind of think that this case is going to settle?

Mom: Unless the bottles are just in his basement, and he posts a picture of them to his Facebook without thinking.

Dad: Huh?

Mom: Like your other guy.

Dad: Those weren't bottles.

[gotham-daydreams]

Sorry for the bit of spam! Just going through some asks at the moment, I love reading all of your own headcanons and what music you guys associate with the series if you couldn't tell! Makes me super happy, and I just generally love people engaging with it so well, especially when I consider it a really small story in the grand scheme of things- but hey! I'm happy regardless!

I do have some other things brewing as I've said, and I'm so normal about this family... trust... ignore the most where I said I have 17+ individual ideas for just them alone... not including the other people from DC or versions of those ideas that involve other people instead...

I'm so normal guys, you have to believe me..

Ahem, anyways, I'll be trying to answer some asks while I'm doing my thing, and if anyone wants to hear my (totally normal and perfectly sane) rambling about any of my ideas (romantic, platonic, or 'mixed'), then just let me know and I'll make a post about it! Though, of course, for that, if anyone is actually interested then I'll make a whole list because... yeah, we're definitely going to need one, I assure you.

Also, small side note: Don't get too comfortable with kidnappings. Despite the Not [ ] series and everything going forward, they aren't exactly my thing believe it or not! I actually forgot they were a thing I could make the yandere's do until I got my first ask about one! LMAO

However, do think more 'kidnapping adjacent', though. I'm not opposed or against the idea of course, but I like to go in different directions of I can help it- especially if (in my opinion) makes things interesting! Which I'll hopefully be able to show in the future... after the Not [ ] Series of course :]

[wormdebut]

17

Hi there anon! Thank you for your number! #17 on my Spotify Wrapped is 18+ by Scene Queen. This song is actually very fucking personal to me. I won't go into detail but fuck shitty dudes in shitty rock bands doing shitty things. ON THAT NOTE this blurb is truly a bunch of Steve being heart eyes at his rockstar husband but TW for mention of shitty rock dudes in shitty rock bands being shitty. (NOT Eddie or Corroded Coffin whatsoever) Nothing is explicit but take care of yourselves always. ----

"No. I don't care if it's true or not, Steph! The second some shitty fucking allegations come out like that? They're off my fucking tour. No questions asked. If someone says Greg fucked around then I'm sure as hell, not keeping him around long enough for it to happen again."

Steve hadn't planned on waking up to Eddie screaming down the line to his manager, but alas--such is the life of a being a rock god's husband. Steve runs his hand over his eyes and zeroes in on Eddie pacing their hotel room.

"--multiple allegations Stephanie! No way in hell. They're just the opening act. I'll talk to the guys, we will extend our set. I'll talk to Chrissy and she'll extend her act too. Call that asshole's manager and tell them that we are dropping them." Eddie huffs and Steve isn't entirely sure what's going on but Eddie is red with anger.

"Baby." Steve breathes out, just to let Eddie know he's joined the land of the living. Eddie head snaps over to look at Steve, and he smiles--it's a small thing, but it makes Steve's insides feel all warm and fuzzy, cause even when Eddie is so clearly fuming Steve can help him feel at least a little bit better.

Eddie sighs, pinching at the bridge of his nose. "Sorry, I got so heated Steph, just take care of this, please? I want them off the tour. Yeah okay--alright. Yeah--" Eddie laughs, "Sure, Steph, I'll tell him. Okay. Thank you. Talk soon." Eddie pulls out his airpod and throws it on the table.

"You know you'll lose 'em if you don't put them back in the case like a normal sane person, baby." Steve says, as he sits up in bed.

Eddie walks over to him and burys his face into Steve's neck. "I'm not a normal sane person, princess." Eddie mumbles from his hiding spot and Steve runs a hand through his hair.

"So…" Steve starts, "did you wanna--talk about whatever that was?" Eddie groans into Steve neck before pulling back.

"I fucking hate shitty ass rock dudes being fucking gross as hell and I won't allow gross ass shitty ass nasty ass posers anywhere near our fan base." Eddie spits and Steve just nods. Eddie continues, "Our opener? A bunch of fucked up shit came out about them and I refuse to let bullshit like that anywhere near the space that Corroded Coffin has crafted over ten fucking years."

Steve can't help but smile at that. Eddie prided himself on creating a place where his fans could be themselves, go to a concert and feel safe. He felt ridiculously proud of his husband. He says as much and Eddie scoffs--not at Steve, he knows, but he scoffs all the same.

"I appreciate that babydoll, but it's not about me. It's about keeping people safe." Eddie says and Steve nods. He's still proud of him, regardless.

——

Steve stands backstage watching as Eddie's best friend finishes up her set and feels arms wrap around his waist. He smiles leaning back into Eddie's (very naked--aside from a leather harness) chest and Eddie plants a sloppy kiss to his cheek.

"God, what if I just stay here and hold you all night instead of performing." Eddie whispers into Steve ear and while that does sound tempting--

"I don't think this very sold out venue of metal heads would be too pleased with me." Steve looks up and fuck, his rock star husband is the prettiest. He leans up to press a quick kiss to his lips. He can't get over this morning, how quick Eddie was to drop a shitty band without a second thought to keep people safe.

Steve turns around in Eddie's arms and wraps his arms around him, squeezes.

"I'm proud of you Eds. I'm always fucking proud of you, but thanks for keeping these people's scene as safe as you can."

Eddie looks at him, with stars in his kohl-lined eyes. "I love you baby, you know that right?"

Steve leans up to kiss him again. "Yeah, darling, I know. And I love you."

Eddie kisses him one more time before stepping back, just in time for Chrissy to come running from the stage. She looks from Eddie to Steve and then back to Eddie with a big manic grin. "The crowd is fucking nuts tonight Eds. You gonna say something?"

Eddie smirks at that. "Of course I am. If I'm not screaming lyrics, I'm screaming about something else." They all laugh at that and the stage lights go dark, Eddie leans down again to plant a kiss to Steve's temple, whispering a quick 'love you', before heading out to the stage.

Chrissy grabs a water bottle and leans back against a beam to watch Eddie and the band from side stage with Steve, like they do every night.

After the opening song Eddie surveys the screaming crowd.

"You sound fucking amazing Orlando. But, before we get into this next song I have something I need to fucking say--If you ever see shitty ass rock dudes in shitty ass rock bands asking you to show them your tits for backstage passes, I want you to spit right in their fucking faces and yell FUCK YOU!"

The crowd goes wild as Eddie preaches about safety in the scene and Steve can't help but fucking grin. He's pretty damn proud of his man.

[666writingcafe]

Level Four

Content Warning: unhinged Simeon, degradation/name-calling

Your next challenge is outside. Be sure to stretch beforehand.

After changing into something I can exercise in, I leave my room and head outside. Whoever I'm up against next must be hiding; I can't see them anywhere. I almost think about heading back inside and texting Asmo, but then it dawns on me.

Maybe they're waiting for me to stretch first before making their appearance known. If that's the case, then Asmo's note makes perfect sense.

I spend a few minutes loosening my muscles up. Sure enough, as soon as I'm finished, someone sneaks up behind me and whispers menacingly,

"Start running." My body moves on its own, recognizing the danger it's in. It's not until I've entered the woods behind the manor that my mind catches up and spurs me on. Hearing loud, maniacal laughter echoing through the trees makes me turn my run into a full-on sprint.

Perhaps I would have been better off with a serial killer. At least that guy would have been human, and I'd have a shot of outlasting him in a chase. Now, I'm merely pushing back the inevitable of getting caught, and then who knows what will happen?

Suddenly, something launches at me and tackles me to the ground, knocking the air out of my lungs.

"You're a sick little sheep, you know that?" My eyes widen as I take in Simeon's appearance on top of me. Never in a million years would I have thought that he would participate in something like this, and yet...

"Oh, don't play dumb." His eyes appear to glow angrily in the reduced light of the woods. "You know exactly what you did."

"Can't...breathe..." I wheeze. Quickly, Simeon gets off me, but as soon as I get up and catch my breath, he grabs me from behind and backs up against a tree.

"Honestly, I'm surprised you made it this far into your test. I thought you would have gave into your lust like the little whore that you are." Simeon tightens his grip, causing me to yelp.

I'm sure someone in my position would protest to being called a whore, but I can't argue with the truth. When it comes to supernatural beings, I am a complete and total slut.

And nearly every part of me is screaming at Simeon to treat me like one, right here in these very woods. I know he wants to; his daydreams about me prove as much.

The only sane part of me forces me to stomp on his foot and take off running again. After a moment's hesitation, Simeon follows me close behind.

I nearly pass the note pinned to the tree completely, but it sticks out just enough from the rest of my surroundings that I manage to snatch it in my hands before Simeon catches me again. It takes us a few moments for us to calm down, neither one of us saying anything to the other.

Simeon's the first to break the silence.

"Well, that was fun." I would laugh at his statement, but I'm still a bit winded from all the running I did. I settle on telling him,

"You're weird."

"Never said I was normal."

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351

[necrotic-nephilim]

this is an invitation to ramble about slade/batboy ships: sladick, sladejay, sladetim, sladedami, and other batfam member/villain ships, especially jayroman and ra'stim :)

AAAAAA this is so delightful oh my god thank you. adding a read more just because this one is going to get Long to cover all the ships and all my opinions. because my god do i love Slade.

firstly, the original Robin/villain ship, SlaDick. Slade Wilson, literally created to be a Teen Titans villains, with the original Robin he cannot be normal about ever. i'm so sad there's not much interest in Slade aside from making him a generic Evil Guy who canonically likes teenagers because i think to just boil down his complex with Dick to 'weird attraction' robs them of SUCH nuance. Slade *trusts* Dick, he trusts Dick enough to ask Dick to train his own daughter Rose. and initially Slade's complex over Dick isn't sexual, it's seeing Dick as a replacement for his dead son, Grant. that's messy as hell and i love them for it. i don't think there's a single villain that has the respect for Dick that Slade has. i'm always of the opinion Dick's attraction to Slade is rooted in daddy issues and Slade's attraction to Dick is rooted in dead son issues. do i think they could end up as an old married couple? yes but only in a world where Dick is completely broken and feels alone. my favorite SlaDick flavor is post-Jason's death. Dick and Bruce are arguably at their worst during that era to begin with so Dick is pretty isolated and emotionally unstable. and Slade would take such advantage of that, swooping in to offer Dick emotional stability and fucked up sex to get out pent up emotions. (i'm big a big fan of Dick fucking out his feelings tbh) and Slade is just. this sort of bad habit Dick will kick for a year or two then come crawling back to. you can directly track how well Bruce and Dick are getting along based on how many times Dick has slept with Slade recently. and that's the prize, for Slade. knowing Dick will come back to him, eventually. it's all about patience. and if something really extreme happened to Dick (like Bruce's fake death) i think they'd even date briefly. it's not entirely impossible for Dick to date someone he disagrees with morally (see: his flings with Helena) and i think Dick would keep trying to 'save' Slade, using the upper hand he has of filling in this role of Slade's dead son to try to domesticate him. would it work? who knows but if anyone is going to try over and over, it's going to be Dick. it's practically self-harm for Dick yet the only thing keeping him sane. i love them.

SladeJay is... an interesting one for me. because i like the *potential*. but they have no significant interactions pre-Flashpoint. and while usually i can forgive New-52 and Rebirth for their grievances if it has ship fodder i just... can't do that for Jason. Judd Winick's Jason is the only Jason that exists to me so even Slade and Jason's canon interactions matter little to me because it's not the version of Jason i care for. the upside of that though, is it's more of a sandbox to explore what they could be and there are no limitations. i can just run wild. which is fun bc. you're telling me Slade wouldn't be so drawn in by the idea of a dead Robin who's come back and is now the antithesis of Bruce's morality? i think at some point Slade would want to poke the bear, really see what Red Hood is made of. do i see them working long-term? no but i do think Jason would have zero qualms working with Slade if he got something out of it. and if he could fuck with Bruce or Dick by having a short, fucked up relationship with Slade? that's even better. i don't think Slade could ever truly respect Jason, at the end of the day the Dick Grayson standard is too high and Slade would sneer at the idea of a legacy who fucked it up so bad he got blown up. but, he'd see that as Bruce's failure more than Jason's. and for Jason to have someone look him in the eye and say that Bruce *failed* him? i think that'd just *do* something to Jason. and Slade has lost a son, he knows what that loss feels like, how you feel you failed as a father. would he have interest in being fatherly to Jason? no but i think he'd have fun momentarily manipulating Jason and seeing what reactions he gets out of what jeers. Jason's been calling himself a failure this whole time, so to have someone else say it is no real big deal, but to have someone else say it's Bruce's fault and voice Jason's feelings? they'd have the most fucked up sex with the most unhealthy dirty talk that's both gentle and degrading. i don't think Jason would ever let himself get too close, he's far too emotionally guarded. but for a second, i think he'd fantasize about having even *half* the amount of attention that Slade gives Dick. bc what has Jason always been, but in Dick's shadow.

SladeTim. my two blorbos. in one place. somewhere in my drafts i have a half-started longfic about SladeTim that's one half really fucked up porn and one half slowburn feelings. arguably Tim and Slade don't have many canon interactions, but it's fun to me that when they do, Slade always seems sort of startled by how well Tim fights back and Tim's willingness to fight dirty in a way even Dick doesn't. and to me, that's the crux of this ship. as far as Robins go, Tim should sort of slip under the radar for Slade. he's not the dead one turned villain, he's not the grandson of Ra's al Ghul, hell he's not even the child of a second-rate villain like Steph, he's not *the* Dick Grayson, he's just... the other one. grew up pretty rich and normal and fell for all of Bruce's wax poetic nonsense. so when Tim puts himself on the map as a hero, makes himself a worthy opponent against Slade that's interesting. even to Tim, Slade isn't a particularly remarkable villain since Slade cares to stay more on Dick's radar. so when they cross paths there's a lot of unexpected. neither of them have thought about the other too hard. so there's this interest and intrigue about it i love. i'm a big fan of the idea Tim is a massive masochist, both physically and emotionally and Slade is The Sadist Ever so. i like them falling into bed together and having the most fucked up sex. like Tim just being a Weird Little Freak so fucked up even Slade raises an eyebrow. because this isn't what you *expect* of a kid like Tim, who's had a pretty easy life before tangling with vigilantes. he should be like a fish out of water, but instead he's matching Slade's energy in ways even Dick doesn't. and of course, how smart he is, that's an asset. it takes a special kind of kid to have the audacity to poison Lady Shiva with hotel chocolates and pull it *off* no less. it earns a begrudging respect, and it's rare to get Slade to respect someone. i really like the idea of Tim seeking Slade out only for fucked up sex and somehow Slade falls for this weird little freak who's cold and clinical outside of sex and keeps him guessing.

i'll be honest i've only considered SladeDami in the context of seeing antis say 'omg Slade has been predatory toward Damian ewww' and going 'no the fuck he hasn't but if you want that so bad i'll ship it just to spite you all' but their canon interactions do fascinate me. a lot of how they interact is predicated on Slade as a father, even more so than SlaDick. like Slade will fight Damian and then be like 'hey be good to your old man fathers need their sons' and fucking dip. and then with the whole Respawn thing and Shadow War? that was extra crunchy. for a brief moment Slade had a son who was a brother to Damian and then he goes and *dies*? talk about the complex that would give him with Damian, the spitting image of Respawn. Make Slade Weird About Batkids That Remind Him of His Son 2024. Damian holds an utter contempt for Slade that is simply unmatched. so Slade not leaving that kid alone because of his weird issues, making sure that Bruce doesn't screw up with Damian the way he screwed up with Respawn is very fun. and Damian slowly building up a tolerance to Slade's annoying antics could be fun. Damian is, at his core, still just a kid who needs the approval of something father-shaped and he will Take What He Can Get. are they ever healthy or long lasting? no but i do think Damian would cling to Slade during his teen years for something incredibly fucked up and codependent until either Slade dumped him or he forced himself to get over it.

JayRoman. i will not lie love these two but i don't think i've read many Black Mask comics when he's not interacting with Jason. which is funny because my entire conception of Roman is him just getting humiliated by Jason and really what more is there to know about the man. Jason is so unserious in how he handles Roman and the best part is you can tell it's truly because he doesn't see Roman as a threat. Roman's just a pawn in the game of getting Bruce's attention and sure, Jason is aiming to kill Roman by the end of it, but he'll always have bigger fish to fry. and that's so *infuriating* for Roman. this new guy who's *clearly* a fucking teenager shows up, owns you so badly it shatters your empire, and then you only live bc he seems to have gotten bored of you. JayRoman is my particular favorite ship for the flavor of 'the sub in bed is in control of every other aspect of their relationship and their submission is a gift that can be revoked at any time' which we don't get enough. fucked up power dynamics always have the sub being the one lacking control. and whilst i enjoy when Roman is able to absolutely control and manipulate Jason through various means, i think in canon, it makes far more sense he's pathetic and begging Jason for even a *chance*. and Jason very specifically picking who he subs for based on someone who he could kill or destroy at the drop of the hat if he needed to is a very Jason thing to do. there will never be trust between these two. they will fuck nasty and Roman will be in love with Jason. but they are both carrying a gun during sex. the gun is probably involved during the sex.

Ra'sTim. my everything. Red Robin (2009) you will always be famous to me. what *don't* they have. forced proximity. enemies to lovers. forced partnership. one-sided obsession. ridiculously large age gap. deep unforgivable betrayal. i will never evacuate these two from my brain dear god. Ra's is another one of those villains who gets painted with one broad stroke of being cartoonishly evil with no exploration of his interesting nuance. making him nothing but a villain is boring. where is the Ra's who loves so deeply and fully and has to lose his loved ones over and over and will not let that happen to Tim. he wants to consume Tim in a 'cannibalism as a metaphor for love but also probably literal cannibalism' way. the amount of trust put in Ra's in order for Tim to be able to betray him as spectacularly as he did? that's glorious. Tim had full unfiltered access to Ra's' computers even when he was advised against trusting Tim so much. and then Tim wins against Ra's and willingly lets Ra's kill him. (obviously Dick saves him, but I'm of the opinion Tim was just committed to dying in that moment and he was Okay With That) 'i will betray you if it's the last thing i do' as an act of love. Tim is to Ra's what Dick is to Slade. you will never convince me Tim and Ra's didn't hatefuck at least once during RR (2009) with a questionable level of consent. i'm so serious i will never shut up about them. the way Tim talks about working with Ra's as if he's making a deal with the devil and Ra's talks about Tim like he's the precious, once in a life time thing, one of the only people worthy to produce an heir for Ra's. how's that not gay. what other ship involved one of them literally trying to have the other's baby to raise as an heir. Ra's would probably carry the baby himself if he could. memes aside they're just so. they're so it. i love when Tim is forced into a Situation where he has to work with Ra's and confronts the darker aspects of himself that Ra's wants to bring out but Tim wants to squash. it is The corruption kink. whether Ra's succeeds or not in corrupting Tim doesn't even matter because the real crux of this ship is the chase. it's the way the heart pounds when they reach out for each other and you don't know if it's for a kiss or a killing blow. it's very Hannigram to me, in that i don't even need or want them to kiss to know they're in love. love to them is not true love's kiss, it's the thoughtful place they decide to stab the other in. be the sheath to my dagger type ship. hold all this bloody violence i know you're capable of inside of you. let me cut the violence out of you ship. what more can you ask for from a ship. Ra's would tie Tim down and torture him both as foreplay and as a love language and Tim would be too fucked up and self-sacrificial to stop him. always playing the dangerous game of how far will the other let them go until someone tries to die or kill. listen i think i lost the plot here but my point is they're unwell about each other. Tim will make Ra's regret the day he met Tim Drake not just for the betrayal but because Ra's can never go back to a time Before Tim. before knowing what the chase felt like. they're so. them.

[kerubimcrepin]

Wakfu Manga - Tome 5, Part 1

Cute Joris.

Cynthia Leman's art is wonderful, however, I am going to miss Said Sassine's art greatly... It was a very iconic part of the manga.

"Joris has only one precept: justice" Yeah we noticed. And it's totally not paving him some sort of road to hell as we speak.

When I first read this manga I burst out laughing to the point of tears at the line "my womb is frozen" and I am still giggling to myself about it — though knowing it's coming up has long took away the sheer comical punch that it had back then.

I'm sorry, but this is so unserious.

Of course he'd be the one carrying all the Dofus...

Btw, no, this is not the death of my "during this entire manga Joris keeps his stupid battle-stump in his haven bag, which he actually has" theory. I don't think he'd like to have six dofus in his haven bag. Or anywhere near his belongings.

Creature.

Joris's many gentle hypocrisy moments is him going "well it would be very dangerous..." at the idea of battling Jiva, and then, a while later, going "fine, you are my little pogchamp, Yugo" at the idea of using them to save Tristepin.

It's in-character for many reasons, by the way. (AKA: ughh Yugo will be sad, ughhh Kerubim will be sad if kids are orphaned, ughh maybe Jiva won't kill the kids, ughh we could finally defeat Ogrest, uhghh—)

Very pretty Joris.

The idealogical debate of "nobody should have nukes" and "I, Yugo, should have nukes because I'm a good boy" has sadly been resolved, and not in Adamai's favor, as of season 4. Surely, the world will not suffer for it.

He should be scared and nervous more often.

With every passing year, every new thing revealed about Waven and the Great Wave manga, this exchange gets more and more funny.

Rare moment of Joris being genuine and emotionally truthful. Best not to get used to it, btw.

He is so well-drawn here... I really like it when his cheeks, cheekbones, or the face shape in general, is visible.

Joris looks so shocked, it's funny. Buddy, this happened to you like twice growing up. Kerubim literally also decided to keep you or something.

Real

😰👍

"tap tap tap"

">.<"

Bug.

The definition of insanity is making a little guy run again and again in an active warfare, and he gets exploded each time, but you keep telling him you'll hold the explosions back this time, every time.

DFKSADJGUIODSFGDJSOFGHSDOFUIGHDSFGHDSFKGHDSFKLJ

THIS MANGA IS WIN AFTER WIN AFTER WIN AFTER WIN FOR US, JORIS FANS!!!!!! Joris being hurt. You agree. Reblog.

His snork mimimi face after being beaten into unconsciousness is everything.

So pretty...

Man, in their eyes, he's actually cool and a badass, isn't he?

Real friends get K.O'd together

This is a very good illustration... I can't just crop it!

:(

And of course the thing Joris is most worried about is Dofus.

Though I guess logically, the kids aren't in any danger, which is why his priorities are so screwed up. Jiva has proven that she can keep a child alive for a year, and is merely mentally ill about adoption, so obviously, Joris is more worried about other things <3 (HE IS NOT NORMAL OR SANE FOR SAYING THIS!!!!)

[cowgurrrl]

Layla

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

Author’s note: oops (fic named after this song)

Summary: Nothing good ever happens on an LA road [2.3k]

Warnings: NOTHING SUPER GORY, car crash, injuries, hospital setting, found family but make it angsty

When you first moved to LA, you and Ryan would drive around for hours, just talking and taking in the sights. Normally, you'd end up sitting somewhere and gossiping about this actor or that producer for hours. But, with each of your busy schedules, it's a little harder to find time to just be friends instead of coworkers. That's why when you both had a free day, you decided to drive around and update him on everything that's been going on. You tell him about the auditions you have lined up, the reshoot schedule, and even what happened during and after New York.

"You met his kids?!" Ryan half-yells in your ear, and you smile as you turn on your blinker to get off the freeway. "That's huge! Did they like you? How old are they? What are their names? Do they want to be friends with Elizabeth?" 

"Sarah is eighteen, and Ellie is fourteen, so I don't think they'll be particularly interested in hanging out with your toddler." You say, and he feigns disappointment before sitting up again, suddenly giddy.

"But they liked you?"

"I think so. They invited me to their family movie night on Friday."

"They as in the girls?"

"We're in a group chat. Ellie's idea, not mine." 

"No shit?" He asks, and you nod. You stop at a red light and turn in the driver's seat to look at him. You can't help the big smile or how it grows when Ryan looks at you all excitedly. "Is Joel just head over heels in love with you now that his daughters like you?" You scoff and roll your eyes.

"It's only been a few months. He's not in love with me."

"I knew I was gonna marry Carolina on our third date."

"Well, that's because you guys are crazy."

"And you think you and Joel are sane?" He has a point, but you'd never tell him he's right. "But, seriously. Do you see yourself being with him for a while?" He asks, and you turn your head to watch the red light turn green.

Before you got to know him, before you went to New York, before he introduced you to his family, you would've said no. You would've made up some lie about how it's just for now, and neither of you is really looking for anything serious. But now he's inviting you over for movie nights and late-night studio sessions like this is how it's always been, and you like it. You like being a part of his life and having him in yours. You just don't know what that means for the future.

"We're just… having fun. I'm not worrying about the future for once in my life. Can you please let me have that?" You sigh, and Ryan throws up his hands from the passenger seat.

"Fine, but I will say one more thing before we drop it," he says, looking at you sincerely. "You seem really happy. Like the happiest I've ever seen you. So, I'm Team Joel, as long as you are. I'll make t-shirts and cheer you guys on, and when the time comes, I'll even officiate the wedding."

"I don't know about the wedding part, but t-shirts would actually be hilarious," you laugh, even though the genuineness in his voice makes you want to cry. You reach over and squeeze his hand. "Thank you, Ryan."

"You're welcome," he squeezes you back. "Now that we're done talking about your love life, can I tell you what Elizabeth said the other day?"

"I wish you would." You say as the light turns green and cars slowly begin moving. Ryan begins spinning an elaborate story about how Carolina's dad was visiting last week, and they were playing in the playroom. You swear you're listening, but traffic is backing up in your lane, and you're desperately trying to get over. Thankfully, someone lets you in, and you can finally go the speed limit for once. Ryan is laughing at his story, and you're tuned back in when he gets cut off by metal crunching.

You don't know exactly what happened after that. You think you saw a black— no, a blue— car sputtering away after hitting you. Your ears ring, and your vision blurs as you struggle to breathe. It feels like someone is squeezing your lungs like a stress ball. Pricks of pain erupt across your face and thighs as your eyes flutter shut. Your head weighs a million pounds, and all you want to do is sleep, but then you hear groaning, and you suddenly remember Ryan.

Something takes over as you look at him, glass and blood all over his body. You unbuckle your seatbelt and get out of the car on shaky legs to run to his side, the side hit by the speeding car. The door is partially dented in, but you're able to open it and see his chest rising and falling. You curse under your breath as you apply pressure to the gnarly-looking cut on his head. He jerks under your touch, and you shush him gently. Distantly, you hear sirens and pray that they're for you.

"Hey. Hey, you're okay. You're fine. We're okay," you say. His eyes open halfway before dropping down again. "No, no, no. Hey, you gotta stay awake for me, okay? You gotta finish telling me your story about Bethy. What did she say? You didn't tell me." 

"Are you okay? We called 911, and..." a kind voice approaches, making you jump. You turn to look at her and watch a flicker of recognition pass over her. "Holy shit, you're-"

"He needs help," you cut her off. "Please, can you help him? I... I don't know what to do. The c...car came out of nowhere, and he..." The asphalt sways under you, and she quickly reaches out to grab your elbow. You shake your head and grip the mangled door for balance. It's then that you realize that your car is stopped in the middle of the intersection, with broken glass and car parts littering the road. You also realize that bystanders surround you, their beady camera lenses pointed at you. A shudder runs down your spine despite the California heat, and something in your side twinges in pain.

"You need to be sitting down." The woman tries to pull you away from Ryan, but you rip your arm away from her. You position your body between his and the cameras, bending over him to protect his bloody face.

"No. No, 'm fine. Need to be with him." 

"Honey,"

"I said no!" You yell as an ambulance squeals to a stop nearby, and paramedics rush out. 

"Are you hurt?" A paramedic asks, medical gear slung over her shoulder as she approaches.

"I think he hit his head. I don't... know. He's bleeding." You say, and the paramedic nods. You think she says something to the kind woman about shock, but you can't hear over all the blood. It's on your hands, your clothes, and in your hair. The dark red is suffocating you, and all you can do is watch.

Ringing takes over your senses as they cut Ryan out of his seat and put him on a stretcher. You repeat Carolina's phone number over and over again. You tell them his blood type, the dosage of his anti-depressants, and his bad knee. The left one. The left one gives him the most trouble. The left one pops when he stands too fast or walks upstairs. He needs surgery, but he won't get it. You tell them he's a father. You tell them that there are people who need him a lot more than they need you. Your legs give out as soon as he's loaded into the ambulance and sent away with shrieking sirens. Someone catches you before you can hit the pavement, and you can feel yourself shaking.

"Your friend is gonna be okay. We're gonna meet him at the hospital. Is there someone I can call for you? An emergency contact?" A medic asks, and you shake your head.

"That was my emergency contact. I... I don't have anyone else. I don't," your chest heaves with panic when a set of numbers flashes in your head next to Carolina's phone number. You repeat to the medic, and they quickly scribble it down. "His name is Joel."

"And who's he?"

"My partner."

Your body feels heavy when you wake up, like someone tied cinderblocks to your joints and told you to swim. Ringing fills your ears before giving way to a cloud of painful noise, and for a second, you wonder if the car crash was just a dream and when you open your eyes, you'll be back in bed. You'll text Ryan about how weird it was and make plans to hang out later in the day. Except, when you open your eyes, harsh fluorescent lights shine down on you. Your face pulses with an unrelenting throbbing. Pressure explodes across your temples, and you grit your teeth as you try to take a deep breath, but your ribs protest. A gentle squeeze of your hand surprises you, but it doesn't hurt.

"Don't move too fast. Doctors said you'd be sore," Joel says quietly. You slowly turn your head and find him sitting in a chair next to your bed, both of his hands holding one of yours. Tears immediately flood your vision, and your chest aches under the weight of your cries. "What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

"'Ryan. Where's Ryan? Is he okay?" It hurts to talk, and Joel has to move closer to hear you, but once he realizes what you're asking, he kisses your hand.

"Ryan's next door with Carolina. He's got some bumps and bruises like you, but he's gonna be just fine," he says, reaching out to smooth your hair down, and you let out a sigh of relief. "You were the first thing he asked about when he woke up, too."

"Really?" You ask, and he smiles.

"Course. Said he could hear you the whole time, but he couldn't say anythin'. He told me that knowin' you were there made him feel safe." 

"I... I told the paramedics about his knee." You sniffle, and he raises his eyebrows.

"You did?"

"His left one is bad. They needed to know. I had to tell them." 

"You did great," he murmurs, wiping your tears away with gentle thumbstrokes. You take a shaky breath and focus all your strength on squeezing his hand. He smiles and kisses your forehead, his eyes glistening with tears. "You scared me."

"'M sorry. I didn't know who else to call."

"Hey, don't be sorry, okay? You did the right thing tellin' 'em to call me. I was scared because you were hurt."

"What's the damage?" You ask, and he takes a deep breath as his eyes scan your face.

"You've got a concussion and bout seven stitches on the side of your face here," he traces a line over his left eyebrow to show where he's indicating without hurting you. "Three cracked ribs and two broken ones from hittin' the steering wheel, some cuts from the glass, and lots of bumps and bruises." You nod as you listen, taking a mental inventory of everything. He watches you process silently, pressing kisses to your hand, forehead, and cheek whenever he gets the urge. Memories of blood, warped metal, and phone cameras run through your mind, and you swallow thickly.

"People were taking pictures of us after we got hit." You say, and Joel nods.

"I saw 'em."

"Out of all those people, one stopped to help us," your voice cracks. "I thought Ryan was gonna die, and they were fucking taking pictures."

"He didn't. He's safe. You're both safe, and Mel is already workin' on gettin' those pictures taken down, okay?" He says. You just nod and wrap your other hand around Joel's wrist, bringing your joined hands to your chest. You stay like that for a while, listening to the incessant beeping of your heart monitor and Joel's breathing. He doesn't rush you or make you talk anymore. He waits.

It would've been so easy for Joel to not show up. Or to show up, focus only on you, and completely forget about Ryan and Carolina. But he didn't. He knew how much they mean to you. He showed up, and he visited them, and was there when he woke up. He talked to Melanie about getting the photos from the accident taken down. He held your hand and said you did the right thing and didn't flinch when he saw your bruises. I'm Team Joel, as long as you are, echoes in your mind, and you smile.

"Thank you," you mumble as you kiss Joel's hand.

"For what?" He asks, and you shake your head.

"Bein' you."

"You're gettin' sweet on me, pretty girl." 

"Mm, I don't know about that one," you say. "Think people will still wanna cast me with a big ass scar on my forehead?" Joel nods as he leans down to kiss you gently.

"Oh, yeah. 'S sexy." He says against your lips, and you chuckle. 

"Shut up."

"Yes, ma'am," A wave of fatigue hits you as Joel settles in his chair again, and you yawn. "Get some rest. I'm not goin' anywhere." He squeezes your hand again, and you close your eyes, letting the pain meds drag you under again. 

You don't remember what you dreamt about that night in the hospital, but you remember blood washing down the drain. It wouldn't stop. There was so much. You remember thinking the blood on your hands almost looked sparkly as camera shutters reflected in the red. Everything looks prettier on camera, right? 

Right?

[percico-sea-of-darkness]

Imo Nico saying "You're not my type," and skipping away to see Will was Nico trying to preserve some of his pride/dignity.

I mean, his actions throughout PJO & HoO are literally love confessions. He chooses Percy, turning his back on Hades, and only goes back to Hades on Percy's request. Nico sends his friend to help Percy in hell (literally more than anyone else did to help Percy). He sticks with the Argo II crew despite literally all of them besides Hazel being extremely rude/unsettled by him for Percy.

So it's like. Nico has laid his heart bare for Percy? But Percy is in a relationship with someone else and Nico doesn't really know what Percy thinks about him - other than being convinced that Percy doesn't love him. So he's pulling himself together and trying to show that no, he's not hung up on Percy. He's not pining. He's not crying over the one sided love, and feelings of rejection. And by playing his feelings as less serious than they actually are, he's enabling himself to continue to have a friendship with Percy - since by playing off his affections as a crush rather than painfully in love - it's less awkward that Percy don't return his feelings. So they can move on and resume their friendship. That's imo anyway. It was self preservation. @hermesmyplatonicbeloved

Oh, totally!

Sorry for responding until now, but I haven't been able to be very active on my networks lately :)

But bringing up this topic, if I had been in Nico's position, I think I would have done something very similar, if not the same. Imagine this situation: Having to be Perc#beth's spectator. That not only did they practically all their missions together, but important gods, such as Aphrodite and practically the ENTIRE fucking camp, did everything possible for Perc#beth to finally come together. And seeing firsthand how Percy practically gave his all to the people he cared about (Nico never really realized how important he was to Percy, since haha ​​I think it's obvious to anyone in love and hurt), and Annabeth being territorial with Percy just gave Nico the idea that the two of them just can't be, it doesn't work, it's impossible. His low self-esteem in conjunction with the pain of losing his loved ones, his loneliness and all the pain he had to go through to protect Percy was enough for him to not only start wanting to lie to himself and others in order to get some relief to his pain. And besides, he was so used to people pushing him away, that the first guy who practically forces him to be by his side is obviously the person Nico is going to cling to, to say "I'm getting over it" when in reality he's not.

So. Nico gave too much, and wanting to feel better about everything he had done, he "he confess no confess." I'm a witness that not telling your feelings to a person can cause you a lot of problems, since there was never really closure. Your mind is always thinking about 'what if', even if you don't want it to.

So the best way for Nico, and I think for any sane person in his situation, to not generate even more pain than one already has and not put oneself in a compromising situation is to confess not confess: Totally minimize your feelings, saying that they are from the past and something temporary (giving the other person to understand that you became interested but you don't have any problem now, that the unilateral nature of the situation doesn't bother you at all.)(HAHAHA its funny because it actually does). And even more so being in Nico's situation, that practically seconds before confessing, Percy boasted about his future with Annabeth. That was the final blow. It's a total NO to Nico, and like a normal person, he saved what little dignity he had left (you know, the whole situation with Cupid and what follows) and left with the only person who was behind him (because obviously Nico would be tired of just chasing, it's normal to want to be chased, but that's not a confirmation of romantic feelings, it's just a need, and more of a lonely and 'needed of love' person). So, I totally agree.

[lemon-russ]

Another slightly shorter one as i'm still getting over something

but I wrote enough that It started to haunt me so its ok it needs to be purged

Part 9/ ???

1 :: 2 :: 3 :: 4 :: 5 :: 6 :: 7 :: 7.5 :: 8 :: 9 :: 10 :: 11

Cato Sicarius x F!Reader

(both POVs today)

CW: Vague alluding to sex, not much going on today

Summary: Cato a makes sane and normal choices to take a beach episode

word count: 1,712

Cato has a brief moment of clarity. What is he doing. Oh holy emperor what is he doing. He acted on impulse, he'd ordered his ship to that warp damned paradise world, and now, he sat behind the controls of a thunderhawk, heading toward the planet the ambassador was on.

He breaks out in a cold sweat. He can still turn back- say he thought he received a distress signal or something. But he grimaces and can't seem to take his hands off the controls. He'll just say Guilliman told him he could pick his next assignment and he decided he also needed to relax. Why should the Ambassador and Titus be the only ones to get a break? Yeah, that's it. He's choosing to take a break. That's all.

His stomach was doing back flips, and his hearts were hammering against his ribs. What the hell is he going to tell her? What if she's cuddling up with Titus when he gets there? He gripped the controls harder, making them creak under his powerful hands. No, it's fine, he's allowed to do things. She doesn't own the galaxy. He can go relax in hot springs. With her. Or not, whatever, he's not just going there to see her. It's a coincidence.

He brings the thunderhawk down to land at the welcoming hangar. Well, he's already here. Might as well go look around at least. He's never taken a day off before.

_________________________________________________

You sigh, stretching out a bit in your chair. You have a fruity drink made from those fancy fruits this world is known for, and your feet dangle in warm, soothing water. You're laying out on a chaise partially in a natural hot spring, in a bathing suit you had to get while here because you've never needed one before. Not like this- any that the ultramarines have for mortals in their ranks are utilitarian one pieces. This one was basically underwear, two pieces and decorative, but everyone here was dressed like this.

You flop back in the chair and sip your drink. You're trying, you really are. But you're so, so bored. You kick your foot in the water a bit, trying not to pout. You're not ungrateful, you just wish you had more fun company. You glance at Titus, who stands politely nearby with his back mostly to you, as not to stare. ���Are you sure you don't want to join, Commander?” You ask again hopefully. Is there a way to order someone to pretend be your friend? No, that's mean, that'd be an abuse of power. But you can ask nicely.

Titus glances over his shoulder, “Ah, again, I can't, apologies ambassador. But I am ok, do not worry for me.” He said with a smile, turning back. Uhg. He's nice, but by the throne you wish he'd let go a bit. You sigh and flop back out.

You sigh exasperatedly. “Commander, would it bother you if I talked at you?” You ask tiredly. He chuckles, and walks over to stand by you. “Of course not, Ambassador. Talk away.” He says softly. You roll on your side, laying on your hand. “Do you mind guard duty?”

He smiles a little. “It's not the most exciting, but also not so bad. You are pleasant company, my lady.” He chuckles slightly. You smile. “How do you feel about Captain Sicarius?” You ask.

He quirks a brow. “Uh, he's… well, what is it they say, if you don't have anything nice to say…?” He chuckled. “He is a good fighter, probably the best duelist in the Imperium. That is all I shall say.” He said, smirking. You raise a brow back. “Oh? So, he's an asshole to you guys too, is what I'm hearing?”

He laughs a deep hearty sound, “you could say that, lady ambassador. It seems you are not free from his wrath either.” He says lightly.

You chuckle and shrug. “He's a bit if a bully. But we get along sometimes.” You say, glancing away. You shouldn't say exactly how well you sometimes get along, you figure…

Titus doesn't miss your look, and his face grows curious. Before he can ask further, the two men nearby both make a noise. “Sir?” They say in unison, and Titus turns back to the entrance of the private little spring area.

Titus makes a surprised gasp as well. “Captain? What are you doing here? What is wrong?” He asks in a panic, hand flying to his bolter. “Is there danger?”

Your head snaps up and you jolt out of your seat. Captain? Cato? What in holy Terra-

“At ease, commander. I simply ran out of things to do, and Guilliman had recommend I take a break. I decided I would.” He says, walking into your view. Your brow shoots up. Hes out of his armor, and dressed…. Casually? Where did he even get plain clothes? They're still ultramarine fatigues, but the t shirt and loose pants types they'd sometimes wear in training.

Titus looks baffled. “You're… here to… take a break…?” He asks as if he's being tricked. Cato smirks that cocky way he does and walks past him. “what, am I not allowed?” He chuckles. Then his eyes fall on you and your heart stutters. He smiles and lets out a sigh, shoulders relaxing. Which confuses you a bit- he wouldn't come here just to see you, right…?

“Captain…?” You ask, standing. His eyes widen a bit as he looks you up an down. “Ambassador. You look… comfortable.” He says, clearing his throat. His eyes longer on your chest and you blush a bit. “As do you…” you say a bit awkwardly, eyeing how the shirt clung to his massive arms. Your mind betrays you with the image of those arms caging in your head as you look up at him from your back- stop, stop that, you scold yourself, focus.

“Are you here as a guard or…?” You ask, voice a little heavy- damn it, stop getting excited- You clear your throat again. He smirks a genuine smile. “Nope. Just decided it was super unfair you got to take a vacation and I had to work.” He says, not bothering to hide how he's looking at you.

Titus, still standing near you, clears his throat. “Captain, weren't you supposed to be training new applicants today-” he's interrupted by Cato shooting him a glare. “I checked on them. They're fine. And you will not speak so freely to me, Commander. I am still your captain.” He snaps. Titus flinches, frowning. “Ah- Apologies, Captain.” He says, frowning and looking away. Does he look… disappointed…? No, you're imagining things. But Titus makes no move to leave his guard of you.

Cato stares daggers at him for some reason, then pulls a chair over next to yours and sits, his massive frame making the poor furniture groan under his weight. He smiles down at you as you sit back on your chair. “So, how does one… vacation?” He asks with a chuckle.

________________________________________________________

Oh Emperor, what is he doing. He’s sitting next to the Ambassador, feet in a hot spring, sipping some horrible fruit drink concoction. He didn’t even tell his Father he was heading here. He lied to Titus when he arrived- Titus who stood infuriatingly close to the Ambassador constantly- and told him Guilliman gave him permission to be here.

But by the throne was is worth it. He was both very pleased by her current clothing, or lack thereof, and furious. He knew she’d be prancing around in nothing in front of Titus, but he didn’t expect whatever this thing was. underwear. it was underwear. Just enough to cover his favorite parts of her- barely- and even sporting a bow between her breasts. like a gift. He’s glad he opted for loose fitting pants as he shifts forward to hide himself a bit.

When he arrived she’d been laying on a chaise thing, talking to Titus all sweet and cute looking. He could kill him. He shot another dirty look at the commander, who tried to suppress another frown at the glare. Playing innocent, like he didn’t know why Cato was angry with him. Coward, he should admit he’d been trying to get close to her and grovel at his feet for forgiveness, or fight him for her like a man.

He huffs, glancing back at her. She looks a bit concerned. “You okay, Captain?” she asks with a small frown. He sighs, “yes, yes. Is there anything else to do? this is…” he gestures at the water. “Fine, sure, but, surely it’s not all this world offers…?” he says tiredly. She tilts her head, frowning and- is she blushing? She glances back at Titus. Emperor damned Titus, he knew there was something between them-

“Commander, you’d trust me to be with Captain Cato without an Escort for a bit, right?” she asks a little sheepishly. Oh. well, that’s better than he thought it was. Titus frowns deeply, brow scrunching. “Ah, My Lady-” Wow, really? he calls her Lady? “-The captain is unarmored, and Lord Guilliman insisted you have at least two guards…” he said, shuffling nervously.

She pouted- Throne he loves that face, he smirks- “Surely there’s no major dangers Cato- um, Captain SIcarius can’t handle himself? We won’t go far…” she actually bats her eyelashes at him. He doesn’t know if he should be jealous, disgusted, or impressed by her blatant display. But it works, Titus looks pained, frowning hard but sighing. “…Don’t go far.” He says tiredly. “Father will have my head if something happened to you…” he grumbled.

Cato grins. “Excellent, let’s go.” he says, hopping up and taking her by the arm. She grins at Titus, “We’ll be nearby, don’t worry” she assured, but Titus looked very stressed about it regardless. Cato smiles and follows her lead as she holds his elbow and leads them toward a building. Cato spares a smirk back at Titus, catching what he can only describe as unbridled jealousy on the Commander’s face. Cato grins wider, returning his gaze to the small mortal woman leading him who knows where.

He can think of an excuse to tell Guilliman later. For now he thinks a vacation was a very good idea.

[kit-williams]

Barn Anon. In my defence, it's not yet Feb. I promise I have a happier one after this one. Wanted to explore the Warp fuckery or rather those that are "immune" to it. :)

You wanted to scream, want to grab your aunt and yell at her that she's crazy. That... thing that she's brought to the family reunion... It doesn't belong here! It's not even human, nor is it a pet like a dog or a cat. Why is everyone so calm? why is everyone smiling? Don't they see how it's armed to the teeth? Don't they see that chainsaw sword thing that it carries around with it? Doesn't anyone notice how it's sharp edges have some dried bloodstains?

You politely excuse yourself and rush out of the house to stand at the back porch. Deep breaths. In. Out. You look out at the single tree that grows at the back, the stars that dot the sky. You manage to come back down from the emotions that threatened to overwhelm you. Laughter creeps out from the house, you see that…thing acting all shy and bashful and you feel like throwing up. Does no one else see that thing for the danger it is? The majority of the world seems to be the same regardless of location or culture. You've seen the pictures and videos of people around the globe with their Space Marines and how everyone else would comment how they wish they had a Space Marine of their own. Just last week your friend was excitedly showing you a video of a guy and his Space Marine summitting some mountain together, with the guy excitedly hugging his Space Marine.

The only comfort you have is that you aren't alone. There's others that see the true danger of these Space Marines. It's a small minority and there are few spaces online that you can talk about it. This small community has a theory that Space Marines must have some form of mind control or that they plan to overthrow humanity. It didn't matter to you if you agreed to those theories, you're just relieved to find others that understand. You know you can't tell your parents, oh god no. They'll think you're crazy or worse, some sort of conspiracy theorist or extremist. You're not crazy! I-It's them that's insane, they're the ones that need help.

You open the chatroom start typing away, venting to like-minded sane individuals. You know you're right. Your family is in danger, they just can't see it yet but you can save them. They'll thank you in the end. You'll find a way to get rid of that Space Marine, somehow.

Thank you for feeding into my weird idea about how it is just a bit of warp fuckery cuz lets be honest no one would just do what the husbandry tag does unless it's some sort of warp fuckery.

Besides I'm always a lover of the Eldritch (Also you cannot tell me as a Catholic that biblically accurate angels aren't some sort of eldritch abominations straight out of Lovecraft just with more fire and feathers motif vs oceanic) and to imply something is just wrong under the surface is my jam

How can people not see that these things aren't normal?!

You do your research finding old and you mean old newspapers from the 20's and there is nothing about Astartes at all. Up until the 40's where suddenly there are pictures of them... some of them being seen in old war videos.

Some theorize that that Nazi Occultism brought them here but they are all beyond our petty conflicts as seen with the futile attempt there was to bring them into the Korean war. They only cared about their "companions". There use to be so much more uproar in papers about them but once the baby boomers were born that's suddenly when everyone was okay with them. Only the people in the Silent Generation and the GI generation were complaining about the Astartes and then suddenly their children or grandchildren were okay with them.

You continue to read as the generations went on... Gen X and Millennials saw the least amount of pushback... Millennials it was considered weird to have the opinion you have now. You run your fingers through your hair looking at the newspaper articles as you now realize that Gen z and Gen Alpha will only grow up with "positive" connotations.

Gone were the idea that only Loyalist astartes were safe to own and then it moved to include renegades and unaligned. You shudder at the thought of your cousin with a Khornite living with them. They're going to die you've tried to warn them but you worry their Astarte might know what's up... they are so much smarter. You pale seeing an old guide about a Blood Angel going into a rage... you shutter at the article.

Your parents are talking about getting one but you managed to convince them that they can get one once you move out. You read the chat and how someone's posted about how a kid was recently abducted by one... or another about how some Gen Alpha kids can even speak their language... and then the theory about bonding that seems to come up when the kids explain their space marine... oh great a wild idea that you get chosen and have no choice in the matter.

You look behind you as you make your way home late trying to desperately avoid the dark alleyways and crossing the road when you see people walking with their Astartes. You've already found out nice communities that don't allow Astartes to live there so you can get away from the madness.

[nicoleanell]

I would love to hear your meta on the scene from Renfield with the priest and the vampire hunter, if you’d be willing to share!

SURE, THANK GOD YOU ASKED.

My thing with that scene is it was peak Give Renfield A Hug and also the most irredeemable thing he does in the movie short of destroying some kid's ant farm, and that instantly made me fall in love with him.

I like the fact they made Renfield an aggressively sympathetic character and at the same time not wholly innocent. Robert Montague Renfield is neither a good guy or a bad guy but he deserves to be okay. (Also he may come off way more "sane" as movie Renfields go but he's not a well person lol, and the fact he's in an all-gender support group for abuse survivors very rapidly becomes not so much A Joke as it is the Entire Point of the movie.)

In the flashbacks, it's totes played for comedy and riffing on the 1931 movie and there's a little bit of an "unreliable narrator" vibe to it when Renfield's like, it was good we had great times etc. :))) We don't really know how in control of himself he is or how much he's whitewashing. But then we get the church/vampire killer thing and there's like... the first seed of something more real going on. The movie tells us upfront that the last time Dracula was almost defeated he stopped it, willingly, and it wasn't normal vampire enthrallment stuff as much as a very human emotional choice.

There's some heavy-handed manipulation happening and it's *completely* non-supernatural. They'll lock you away. I'll protect you. I care about you. And Nic Hoult's big woobie eyes hold all the sadness and isolation and genuine hope/desire to be loved, and it's unhealthy attention but there's nothing better out there for him. 🥺 <- emoji rendition of Renfield and also me.

Oh and for good measure his "he really means it this time" internal monologue is 100% meant to sound like toxic/abusive boyfriend stuff he's echoing from the support group, which is A Joke in this movie until it's not anymore.

(Side note, I saw you mention this in another post - the mental institution headcanon is Valid. I would've liked for it to be explicitly in there somewhere but as far as I'm concerned nothing *contradicts* it and it's one of like 3 facts people associate with Spiders Georg over here. So I'll take that crumb that the threat of him getting locked up is just as likely to be in an asylum (again) as a jail. And yikes the legitimate fear of that being WORSE than the hell he's currently in.)

And the second he does the thing, some priest *completely proves Dracula right* by immediately throwing more guilt and blame on Renfield and being like YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE HE KILLS NOW. Which, fair! But also, dude, you're being the opposite of helpful here! Lmao fucking Catholics. He knows this! It's why he can't get out! Of course he chose Dracula and he did it on purpose and he did it because of trauma and it *cemented* him being trapped forever. This is the climax of an entire other movie in which Renfield is probably not the main character but would definitely end up my problematic fave anyway.

SO YEAH. Between that and the reveal he left a whole wife & kid, there's such an interesting theme of guilt/shame on top of self-esteem and learned helplessness issues I was not anticipating in this movie. It's important for him to get to a place of: "I want to blame this legitimately awful monster but I also did SOME of this to myself, and when I can accept that without immediately going into a fetal position, it gives him less power over me."

Does not remove his power completely! 'Cause Renfield 2023 is also not, like, saying that you can just Easily Decide To Leave Your Violent Abuser. But the affirmations about being enough and deserving better and seeking better in spite of having failed or fucked up before are important.

[perelka-l]

(Drayton really calls Hassel danna??!) hey I've been wondering, besides the Kitakami siblings do you have any other Drayton ships particularly at the forefront of your thots recently? Like for me, I'm thinking of an AU where Drayton graduates (lol) and while interning under Raihan they naturally start hooking up. Or maybe while in Galar he also dates Bea who sorta reminds him of Kieran bc of her love of sweets and hardworking discipline.

And actually, while I'm asking, any other Kieran ships too?

YEAH!!!! (I am a bit sad this didn't carry over to eng version... He's calling him master Hassel in my heart ;w;)

On a Drayton shippy note, let's start with that: bratty Drayton/trying to resist good teacher Hassel? But both are Dragons and Hassel kind of gives into his instincts and get to teach Drayton a lesson to not do it again (Drayton is a very bad student though and an even worse dragon).

(Drayton graduating sure is an AU xD)

Aside from Kitakami students, I like to consider that Drayton absolutely has a Thing for cute freshmen and such case is Crispin who, and that's a Drayster take, is a perfect wife material. Attentive, will cook for you, is a cute shota, what more can a guy want from life? (It's not very serious of a relationship but Drayton deeply appreciates he can just swoop in and demand comfort and get some in an instant, 10/10, Crispin would be a perfect wife.)

Back home, there is ofc Iris for sweet sweet incestuous angst plus I think they would be really cute together. Drayton definitely has plenty of unsatisfied big bro instincts (Kyoodaaaaii) so there is that.

And yeah, I did mention his massive grandpa issues. Like, you can't look me in the face and tell me he wouldn't jump Drayden given a glimpse of a chance. Like, Drayden is a hot gilf and I bet that bisexual awakening for Drayster has arrived pretty much the second he looked at his grandfather the moment he started to feel any sort of attraction. He has issues. He just wants to bury his head in those giant packs and get hugged by those strong arms (like he surely saw Drayden carry dragons arround, that would make any sane person salivate), he doesn't have normal issues, he has grandfather issues. (This one is heavily impacted by a series of comics from JP twitter on which younger Drayton sleeps around with older white-haired man and doesn't care about who they are and where they come from - if that's not Drayden, he really doesn't care.)

On that note, he'd Pay Attention around Drake (muscular dragon gilf with admirable facial hair and sweet bonus of having his tits out? Bruh.)

One more that comes to my mind is him and Benga. I feel like they are of at least similar age, so they could be buds when teens and before Drayton went to BB... I deeply enjoy the thought that they could so contrast in undertaken paths! Drayton is a slacker and went as far as he could (namely, BB Championship) and just left it at that, he's in his comfort spot. Benga always aims to go higher, to become better, things like championship of little to no meaning to him. At the same time, they have such nice contrasting visuals, Benga feeling more natural, more attuned to nature (he carries stuff to make fire on his back gdi) while Drayton is more modern. Kind of a theming matching to Unova lads, plus Benga has some Dragon theming surrounding him, he pretty much only has (and gives out) dragons when you ignore his Volcarona lol

In terms of Kieran... Crispin also comes to mind, it's the shota magic~ Plus they are classmates, so I feel like they could have plnty of excuses to come close.

Tbh nothing else comes to my mind, I blame that entirely on Drayton being a whore lol