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yeonchi · 2 years

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Doctor Who 2022 Centenary Special Review: The Power of the Doctor

Air date: 23 October 2022

Way back in April, there was an apparent leak stating that the title of this episode would be called The Lives of the Doctor. That turned out to be a hoax fabricated by some people from the Doctor Who Discord server, but the name we have now is close enough to be similar, even though we already went through an “X of the Doctor” phase in 2013 for the 50th anniversary.

Well everyone, we have finally made it. After over 4 years (of which 2 years and 8 months consisted of EXTREMELY prolonged hiatuses), Jodie Whittaker’s final episode as the Thirteenth Doctor has finally aired. After that, we’re getting another EXTREMELY prolonged hiatus of 13 months until the 60th anniversary.

Before I make my final verdict on Jodie Whittaker’s tenure as the Doctor and by extension, the Chibnall era of Doctor Who, let’s jump into the final episode and see whether any loose ends will be tied up.

Here is my spoiler-free thought for this episode and the final one for the Chibnall era: “Oof, Yaz favouritism overload.” Nah, it’s the final episode, we can do better. “Sometimes, rumours can come true and sometimes, things don’t always turn out the way you predicted.”

MAJOR spoilers continue after the break.

Year-long hubbub

This section was written before this episode was aired just to see whether this prediction comes true.

People might be wondering why they didn’t see Ncuti Gatwa debut as the Doctor and I can speculate a few reasons as to why. The filming for this special took place from 23 August to 15 October 2021. The news of Russell T Davies returning as the new showrunner was announced on 25 September 2021 and the crew were only notified of this the day before. Ncuti Gatwa was cast as the Doctor in February 2022 and the announcement was made on 8 May 2022. With these timeframes, it would have been impossible for Ncuti to have made an appearance in the Centenary Special, unless some strings were pulled to allow for this.

Also, I totally predicted back in the review for Legend of the Sea Devils that this episode would premiere on 23 October (as part of the BBC’s centenary week of programming that started on 22 October). I honestly wonder what it would have been like had the Centenary Special not been commissioned; would this episode have taken the place of the Easter Special (albeit a bit shorter), or would the Doctor have successfully sacrificed herself to stop the Sea Devils without Ji-Hun to take her place? I guess we’ll never know.

TV Zone revealed the air date for this episode on 2 October before the BBC released the trailer for the episode a week after. It’s really telling of the care factor that went into the promotion of the series (amongst other things regarding production) when an unofficial source revealed the air date of the episode before the BBC did. Maybe the air date was kind of predictable given that it is the BBC Centenary (and, as I stated previously, the Chibnall era seems to like putting episodes on Sundays), but fans should have gotten confirmation at least four to six weeks before the air date. For the record, the title was revealed in Doctor Who Magazine 582, released 15 September, over five weeks before the air date. Apparently the marketing got messed up due to the death of Queen Elizabeth II and the official title reveal got pushed to 21 September.

Grab onto the waves of time space

Somewhere in space, a train- oh great, they’re finally doing a DenLiner. Nah, not really, it’s a space train, not a time train, plus, if I had to pick between the TARDIS and the DenLiner, I’d pick the TARDIS. That’s the reason why Den-O got replaced with an original Rider in my personal project. Anyway...

Somewhere in space, a train belonging to the Torajii Transport Network makes an emergency transmission after it has been hijacked by Cybermen- no, Cyber-Time Lords- no, CyberMasters. The Doctor receives the transmission and heads down with Yaz and Dan. During this, they are confronted by the CyberMasters and one of them shoots a hole in Dan’s helmet, causing him to float away, though Yaz manages to hold onto him as the Doctor deactivates the electromagnetic roof, causing the CyberMasters to float away.

The Doctor, Yaz and Dan head into the train. While Dan uses the sonic screwdriver to take control of the train, Yaz helps one of the personnel with a wound while the Doctor goes to confront the CyberMasters, who manage to teleport away with some cargo the ship was carrying, namely- The Timeless Child? Nah, not really, we’ll come back to them, but that’s the first thought I had when I saw them.

After this, the Doctor takes Dan back to Liverpool in time for his date (presumably with Diane), but as he leaves, he stops and turns to tell the Doctor that she doesn’t have to come back for him, deciding that he doesn’t want to push his luck any further after the accident he had earlier. I honestly thought he’d stopped upon hearing that there was a child to be rescued, but I can understand why he would decide to leave. The Doctor and Yaz see Dan off before they head back into the TARDIS. You know, I’m pretty sure the Doctor picked Dan’s house up after it was shrunk by Karvanista’s trap, so you’d think she’d be able to find a way to restore it, but oh well.

That’s the last we see of Dan for this entire special. You know, you’ve got to admire his dedication for Diane, a woman who considers being ghosted worse than being kidnapped amidst a crisis threatening the universe. Also, remember what Jack Harkness said to Yaz in Revolution of the Daleks? “Being with the Doctor, you don’t get to choose when it stops. Whether you leave her, or she leaves you.” I think Dan’s departure is an exception in that he actually got to choose when he left the Doctor. He could have not said anything and the Doctor would pick him up again 24 hours later, though given what’s about to happen next, I suppose he made the right decision.

Ra-Ra-Rasputin, lover of the Russian Queen

At an art gallery in 2022 London (not really the National Gallery, Somerset House maybe?), Ace learns that a painting has been taken down for restoration work after it was restored only two months prior. Yeah, I bet it was those climate protesters, who oh so conveniently came back when the pandemic was all but over and most of the world got vaccinated. Anyway, Ace contacts Tegan Jovanka over video chat and tells her that 15 paintings over the world have been taken down with no explanation. Tegan, who is in Romania, tells Ace that three seismologists she was looking for (among others) have disappeared while investigating a nearby earthquake near a volcanic chain. On top of that, Tegan discovered a package upon arriving at her cabin; inside was a Russian doll toy box with a card saying that it was from the Doctor and a doll, specifically the doll of the shrunken Lone Cyberman, Ashad.

In 1916, the Master, in disguise as Father Grigori Rasputin (who could ever have known) is called urgently to the Winter Palace from Siberia. As he compels the Tsar and his family to take some time away, the TARDIS lands on an extra planet in the shadow of Earth, where all the organic life has been converted into metal - let’s call it a Cyberplanet. They discover an extra TARDIS there, which is later revealed to a Type 75 belonging to the Master. Upon discovering another energy source on the surface, the Doctor and Yaz investigate and discover that the child has been tethered to the Cyberplanet alongside the Master’s TARDIS. The Doctor undoes the consciousness shield and discovers that the child is merely a visual filter for the quaranx, a rare source of sentient energy capable of powering planets and civilisations, now being used by the CyberMasters to power mass Cyber conversion.

As more CyberMasters appear and shoot at the Doctor and Yaz, they run back into the TARDIS to find a message from Kate Stewart calling them to UNIT. Upon arriving at UNIT HQ, the Doctor meets Tegan and Ace after so many years. Kate shows them all the situation; it is revealed that the paintings were taken down because they were defaced with the Master’s face. The Master has also left a message inviting the Doctor to the International Seismology Memorial Conference in Naples near Mount Vesuvius. Before she and Yaz leave, the Doctor greets Tegan and Ace with a touch on the shoulder, inadvertently shocking them with static electricity.

The Doctor and Yaz head to the conference to confront the Master, who has compressed all the seismologists with his TCE. The Master warns the Doctor to leave Earth or her existence will be erased forever, but UNIT troops come in and arrest the Master. The Doctor has one of the soldiers give Yaz a gun as they intend to take the Master back to UNIT HQ in the TARDIS.

Meanwhile, Vinder comes through a wormhole in search of the missing quaranx and crashes on the Cyberplanet, resulting in him being stranded as a result of the damage to his ship sustained by travelling through the wormhole. He decides to use the device the Doctor gave him to contact her.

After the Doctor drops the Master off at UNIT HQ, she leaves Tegan and Ace with Kate to guard the Master while she goes in search of a jaded Dalek who contacted her with an offer to destroy his kind and a warning that a Dalek invasion of Earth is imminent. Yaz gets a static shock from the Doctor during their conversation before they land inside a volcano in Bolivia. The Doctor and Yaz go their separate ways; the Doctor meets the jaded Dalek to extract the information he is offering her while Yaz discovers more Daleks attempting to harness the volcano’s power. Yaz makes it back to the TARDIS as three more Daleks find the Doctor; the jaded Dalek is exterminated while the other Daleks use its shell to capture the Doctor, leaving Yaz to set off in the TARDIS alone just as she receives Vinder’s call.

Back at UNIT HQ, Tegan and Ace notices that the Lone Cyberman doll is on the ground. As the Master confronts them through the camera system in his bunker, the doll expands to its normal size, revealing that he was the one who sent it to Tegan. The doll opens up and out come a group of Cybermen, including Ashad, who was apparently cloned. Tegan and Ace try to shoot the Cybermen with gold bullets but it fails, resulting in them having to run upstairs. Ashad kills all the soldiers in the bunker and releases the Master from his imprisonment. The Master recovers his TCE and teleports away.

In the Winter Palace, the Master brings the Doctor before him, the Daleks and the Cybermen, where we see the Master dancing to Boney M’s Rasputin in something that could only rival the Master dancing to the Rogue Traders’ Voodoo Child or the Scissor Sisters’ I Can’t Decide during the Series 3 finale two-parter. Meh, if I was the Master in that episode I’d be singing along as well plus including some ad-libbed dance moves from tokusatsu to zhuzh it up. The Master then makes contact with the TARDIS and has Yaz watch as he uses the Cyberplanet to force the Doctor to regenerate into him; or to put it a better way, I think he forced the Doctor to regenerate so he could hijack the regeneration and take over her body. Yaz lands the TARDIS in the Winter Palace and the Master, now in the Doctor’s body, proceeds to commandeer it. Landing on an asteroid (presumably), the Master heads outside to see the Earth and what I think could be the Cyberplanet (but judging how the other planet doesn’t even remotely resemble it, I think it could actually be Mondas) firing missiles at each other. The Master, intending to tarnish the Doctor’s name, tells a news camera drone that he (meaning the Doctor) caused this, but that is all he could do as Yaz pushes him out of the TARDIS and sets off.

All we need is “DRIVE”

The Doctor finds herself within her own consciousness at the Edge of Existence, where she meets a man sitting next to a telephone pole, namely the First Doctor, played by David Bradley, with his last appearance being in Peter Capaldi’s final episode, Twice Upon a Time, in 2017. During the sequence, the man is also shown becoming the Sixth, Seventh, Eighth and Fifth Doctors- wait, Fifth? Peter Davison? Didn’t he get cancelled back in 2017 for claiming that Jodie Whittaker’s casting meant that the Doctor would no longer be a role model for boys? Eh, I suppose people forgot about it even though he really meant no ill will towards the decision or the people involved in it. (For the record, I think that the Doctor has been a role model for ALL genders, as they say these days, and women have seen the Doctor as a role model even before Jodie Whittaker’s casting, just as some men may still see the Doctor as a role model now.)

The Doctors claim that the Thirteenth Doctor refuses to pass through the Edge of Existence, though they acknowledge that the Master has taken over her body and that they can’t let him permanently hijack their existence. The Thirteenth Doctor realises that there is always a way before she finds herself alone.

Back in the TARDIS, Yaz sees an AI hologram of the Doctor, activated through a nano-implant which was inserted into her, Ace and Tegan when they got static shocks from the Doctor. Yaz then goes to pick up Vinder from the Cyberplanet before telling the Doctor hologram about her forced regeneration, at which point she switches between faces as she tries to adapt to the new information.

At UNIT HQ, Kate locks down the building while Ace and Tegan prepare to jump off the roof, but Tegan decides to go back down and help Kate. As Ashad and the Cybermen proceed to convert the UNIT soldiers, Tegan meets back with Kate, who tells her to head to the basement and find the manual override for the structural termination system. Tegan heads off while Kate distracts the Cybermen by giving them an offer. Ace jumps off the roof and lands in the TARDIS just as Cybermen are shooting at her parachute. Yaz drops Ace off inside the volcano in Bolivia before she has Vinder hide as she goes to pick up the Master from the asteroid. Tegan’s hologram activates, but her emotional memory causes the hologram to become that of the Fifth Doctor, who gives her some reassuring words before she opens a panel into the lift shaft. Inside the volcano, Ace’s hologram activates and she reconciles with the Seventh Doctor after apparently having a falling-out offscreen. Ace sets off after this and runs into Graham, who is having trouble with his psychic paper, though I could pass it off as being ineffective on previous companions of the Doctor.

The Master takes the TARDIS back to the Winter Palace, where he orders the Daleks to activate volcanoes around the world. With help from a hologram of Ruth (the Fugitive Doctor) and Vinder, the CyberMasters are defeated and Yaz forces the Master back into the machine before harnessing the CyberMasters’ regeneration to degenerate the Doctor’s body back into her previous self and return the Master back to his body. The Ruth hologram disappears and the Doctor, Yaz and Vinder return to the TARDIS.

Ashad and the Cybermen find Kate, who allows herself to be taken for conversion. Tegan climbs down the lift shaft, but Ashad hears her and the Cybermen shoot through it, forcing her to let go and drop to the basement. Tegan manages to stop Kate from being converted, while at the same time causing Ashad and the Cybermen to be shocked. Meanwhile, Ace and Graham manage to blow up a Dalek and the disruptor pulse system before they escape in the TARDIS, the Doctor having flown in to pick them up. The bombs detonate, taking the volcano and the Daleks with it. Tegan and Kate escape from the building as it is destroyed (a building that size you’d think would cause more destruction) and the Doctor picks them up as well.

Come on and feel the Nexus Future

As the Master stumbles out of the Winter Palace, the Doctor heads back to the Cyberplanet and puts Graham, Yaz, Tegan, Ace and Kate around the TARDIS before heading out and fixing Vinder’s ship. She then goes into the Master’s TARDIS and links it with her TARDIS, transporting it to 2022 while Vinder leaves through the wormhole. The Doctor then uses the Cyber conversion systems to freeze the lava into steel, quelling the eruptions.

The Doctor heads out and tells the quaranx to disintegrate the Cyberplanet before freeing itself. She is about to head back to her TARDIS when the Master, whose body began failing from the previous ordeal, teleports back to his TARDIS, using the TCE to aim the quaranx’s energy at her before collapsing. Yaz picks up the Doctor and takes her back into the TARDIS before leaving as the Cyberplanet fully disintegrates and the quaranx goes free.

The Doctor regains consciousness after Yaz took everyone else home (or rather, Croydon, but don’t worry, with transport being so advanced in London these days, plus Ubers being a thing, I’m sure they managed to get home easily). As the Cloister Bell rings, Yaz and the Doctor discover that the latter is regenerating. The two of them enjoy a final view of Earth over some ice cream before the Doctor decides that she must be alone and drops Yaz off, presumably in Sheffield, and leaving without a goodbye. And they never got to kiss lol.

Yaz encounters Graham and Dan, a month having passed since Dan’s return, and they take her to a Doctor’s Companions Anonymous meetup, where they are joined by Tegan, Ace, Kate and additionally, Jo Jones, Melanie Bush and Ian Chesterton.

The Doctor takes the TARDIS atop a cliff, and after some final words, she regenerates (with her clothes as well?) into... David Tennant? I mean, we know he’s coming back for the 60th, but this is honestly just fan-wanky and admittedly, this is something I’d expect from fan theories. Well, now we know that RTD isn’t rebooting the franchise, but continuing it, albeit sweeping the Timeless Child revelation under the rug. Also, this was kind of expected given what I mentioned earlier about the next Doctor not being cast yet at the time of filming.

Random expectations

So over the past year, I’ve seen rumours about this special here and there and I want to address some random things.

Yaz was apparently going to be shown back with the police, which would be a serious regression of her character because she barely went back to the force ever since she started travelling with the Doctor. It was for the best that Yaz quit the police given these circumstances.

I’d read somewhere that the Doctor was going to have to wipe Yaz’s mind (along with Tegan’s and Ace’s) because her travels were affecting the stability of the timeline (hence the static shocks in the episode) and in doing so, it would give the Thasmin stans the kiss they were looking for. Frankly, if this was the case, it would be an insult to her character (and possibly Tegan’s and Ace’s) because it completely negates her journey and what little character development she got (and on top of that, destroying more Doctor Who canon established by other people over 30 years ago). This would be like when the Doctor wiped Ada Lovelace and Noor Inayat Khan’s minds back in Spyfall Part Two, but a hundred times worse. The only time a memory wipe was justified was with Donna Noble in Series 4.

Given what little information we got about the 60th Anniversary, some people (including myself) presumed that it would be a reboot and that this episode would end on the Doctor’s regeneration with a fade to black. In fact, given that the production didn’t know about RTD taking over as showrunner until a month into filming the episode, I think that it would have been the case had it not happened. Honestly, I’m kind of glad that they at least got David Tennant back for it because it’d end up being a situation where others would have to address a missing regeneration somewhere down the line.

Also, if the teaser we got at the end of the episode was any indication, the RTD2 era is going to continue with the Univisium 2:1 ratio instead of going back to 16:9 widescreen. Not a big problem in the end, but still.

So, the BBC has confirmed that David Tennant is now the Fourteenth Doctor (in addition to being the Tenth Doctor) and that Ncuti Gatwa will be playing the Fifteenth Doctor. Three specials are due to air in November 2023 before Ncuti’s first episode is expected to premiere “over the festive period” in 2023 (please there be a Christmas Special, please). With this, I would also like to announce that I intend to continue reviewing new Doctor Who episodes in the RTD2 era and hopefully beyond, even if only for the content. I’ll explain this in my final wrap-up post for the Chibnall era, but RTD’s return has given me a renewed hope in a series that has seen better days. Anyway, that’s beyond the scope of this review series for now. Let’s quickly wrap up the review.

UPDATE - 19 November 2022: So news about the production of the regeneration scene has come out since broadcast and I'd like to discuss it. David Tennant’s portion of the regeneration scene was filmed on 13 May 2022, seven months after filming on the whole special wrapped. It was filmed in a greenscreen studio with the help of a stand-in and the scene was directed by Rachel Talalay, who was also directing one of the 60th Anniversary Specials as well.

RTD has explained the reason why the Doctor’s clothes regenerated with them as well, saying that he was certain that it had to happen because the notion of drag can be delicate and David Tennant wearing the Thirteenth Doctor’s clothes would be a mockery of the culture. Also, he was worried that the media would focus on it and that it would be weaponised by people. On one hand I can understand this, as the scene was a big moment for the franchise and David Tennant wearing the Thirteenth Doctor’s clothes, while natural, can look a little silly, plus there was precedent for this during the first regeneration in 1966, which was presumably written off as a production error. On the other hand, however, the Master was shown in the Doctor’s outfit when he took over her body and barely anyone kicked up a stink about it. Also, all arguments aside, crossdressing isn’t necessarily drag culture, meaning that RTD did this because he was afraid of the scene being shown as “drag blackface”. It’s not like they couldn’t show David Tennant wearing the Thirteenth Doctor’s clothes and then reveal his new outfit soon after. I hope RTD has an in-universe explanation for this, or it’ll just get left unexplained and I’ll be disappointed.

Also, if I haven’t pointed this out already, the whole regeneration sequence was filmed in a greenscreen studio, with the scenery being filmed at Durdle Door in Dorset using drones. The owners of the estate where Durdle Door sits have complained to the BBC for being dishonest about the filming of the scene, saying that it would attract people to the dangerous landmark and possibly jump into the water, like any normal person would even consider it in the first place until the media highlighted it.

Other general thoughts

Like many others, I was surprised to see all the previous Doctors returning for this special. If it weren’t for Ruth’s introduction and the Timeless Child arc, I’d have the Eighth Doctor in place of Ruth for that scene in the Winter Palace. He honestly deserves more screentime if the BBC won’t give him a mini-series.

They changed the font used for the locations again. It’s not that jarring, I’ll give it that, but the thing that’s even more jarring is that they couldn’t be consistent with their fonts for four years.

Ryan is mentioned to be in Patagonia after the Doctor picks up Graham. Such a shame he couldn’t return for at least one more appearance.

When the Doctor sees the Dalek appear in her TARDIS, she tells it that it is “the first Dalek to ever mean that”. Has she forgotten Rusty already?

“The Master’s Dalek Plan” is also the name of a Big Finish audio featuring Derek Jacobi as the Time War Master.

I feel like Sacha Dhawan could have gotten the opening titles credit instead of John Bishop given how Dan leaves the TARDIS soon after.

The Master gives himself a gold star and a sticker upon seeing the destruction between Earth and the other planet (probably Mondas). If I had to really count it, I’ll just assume it’s 15 points. Such a shame the Doctor stopped giving out points.

In the Doctor’s Companions Anonymous scene, there is an extra chair with an iPad on it, as someone on Twitter pointed out. In the replies, someone thought that it was meant to be for Ryan, while another thought that it could be for Polly Wright. Fun fact, Anneke Wills, who played Polly, was invited to reprise her role for this scene but she declined as she wanted to tend to her garden instead. Also, Chris Chibnall mentioned to the Mirror that Tom Baker was also invited for a cameo but he presumably declined due to his age. Amusingly, some people mentioned that the iPad belonged to Dan and amusingly, in the quote tweets, I found a link to a Twitter for Dan’s iPad. Whoever runs that page made the next Evil Dan, I swear.

Earlier in October, Bonnie Langford, who played Mel, was announced to be reprising her role, but we didn’t expect to see her in this episode. I assume that she would be returning in the RTD2 era and I hope that’s still the case.

The way that Tegan and Ace were reintroduced in this episode is quite weird. They state that it has been 30-40 years since they last saw the Doctor, though this disregards all the times they met the Doctor again since their departures, whether it be through Big Finish audios or prose. This is particularly the case for Ace as it is assumed she continued travelling with the Doctor after the classic series ended in 1989, though the 2020 book, At Childhood’s End, written by Sophie Aldred who played Ace (and also shows Ace meeting the Thirteenth Doctor and her fam), acknowledges all her adventures as being possible futures. That story also apparently explains the origin of Ace’s falling-out with the Doctor, though the Seventh Doctor Big Finish audio Dark Universe, also released in 2020, could come in at a close second. I won’t blame Chibnall that much for not doing his research, but if I were writing the episode, I would have read the wiki and found a way to acknowledge the adventures in the extended universe(s).

Fun fact unrelated to this episode but related to the classic series: Tegan, an Australian companion, was introduced as a way to make Doctor Who more attractive to the ABC in an attempt to get them to invest in Doctor Who, though they were not interested in a co-production deal in the end. She was also introduced as a replacement for Romana when the actresses for Sarah Jane Smith (Elizabeth Sladen) and Leela (Louise Jameson) were unable to reprise their roles. Oh, an additional fun fact; I knew someone in primary school and high school who was named after Tegan and her younger sister was named after Nyssa.

Summary and verdict

Well, I’ve got to hand it to Chibnall. Admittedly, he promised an epic episode and we got an epic episode, though that can be said for a lot of finales. This feels like one of his better episodes even with the memberberry nostalgia baiting or the fanwanky ending, but I’m not forgetting what he did to this series so easily. It feels on par with an anniversary special, but it’s basically just The Day of the Doctor on another scale so it would kind of feel shallow if this was the actual 60th Anniversary episode. This could have premiered on 23 November for the 59th Anniversary and it would still have the same effect.

Dan left the TARDIS 10 minutes into the episode and the leaving companions near the end felt a bit rushed, but Graham’s reappearance in the last half-hour and the Doctor’s Companions Anonymous meeting really make up for it. Yaz got some time to shine, even without having much in the way of character development. Ruth makes an appearance as well which is good, but we get no resolution to the Timeless Child arc or Ruth’s place in the Doctor’s timeline after Chibnall pussied out of the double-down at the end of Flux. Kate gets the screentime and involvement she deserved after lacking it in Flux, plus the returning companions and Doctors were a really nice touch.

I came into this episode with the expectation that I would have to give it a negative score, but it got subverted because it didn’t mention the Timeless Child at all. It’s almost like you don’t have to disrespect nearly 60 years of canon to tell a good story. I just wish we got this quality of writing over the last five years instead of what we got.

Rating: 7/10 Series 13 cumulative total (with Legend of the Sea Devils): 11/80 (14%) Series 13 cumulative total (with The Power of the Doctor): 18/90 (20%) Hypothetical total: 47/90 (52%) Conservative total: 27/90 (30%)

I wanted to give Chibnall credit for all the memberberries, but I don’t want to give him the benefit of the doubt given how I said I’d be reviewing this series more critically last year.

And so, we have finally reached the end after 4 long years. There won’t be any new episodes until the 60th Anniversary Specials in November 2023, but I’ve still got Doctor Who-related things lined up for this blog, such as Kisekae Insights and Doctor Who 10 for 10 (which has had to be pushed back to next year because I’ve been so busy this year finishing off Kamen Rider Zi-O for my personal project). In the meantime, I have one final post in the works to round off the Thirteenth Doctor Reviews series, so stay tuned one last time as I bookend this series with a recap of my reviews and my closing thoughts on the Chibnall era of Doctor Who.

#doctor who #doctor who series 13 #doctor who flux #thirteenth doctor #doctor who series 13 review #doctor who flux review #thirteenth doctor review

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mikauzoran · 3 years

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The Shipping Continues

I’m still reading through the Vanitas no Carte manga to practice my Japanese, and I have some more favourite moments from Volume Four to share. ^w^

First off, Noe completely losing it when Dr. Moreau tries to touch Vanitas.

Dr. Moreau was just asking Vanitas if he could extract one of Vanitas’s eyes to study it, and Noe has had enough.

Vanitas says, “Hey. What are you doing? Stop it.” because Noe is going to blow their cover to which Noe replies, “I’m sorry, but that’s impossible. Dr. Moreau, I’ve got a mountain’s worth of things I want to say to you, but...calling people by a number like you’ve been doing with your ‘Number Six-Nine, Number Six-Nine’...cut it the hell out!!!”

I like that Noe just drops all pretense of politeness here and snaps. ^.^

A side note on Dr. Moreau: I really love the allusion to the 1896 book by H. G. Wells: The Island of Doctor Moreau. (Have people heard of it before? ^.^;) It’s about a mad scientist who’s made these hybrid human-animal creatures on this island that the narrator gets shipwrecked on. My favourite character is the pink sloth creature. It’s an interesting book, and I always love when contemporary fiction references classic fiction. The references make me happy. ^w^ It’s like finding Easter eggs.

This is another great scene. Vanitas was about ready to give up, but Noe inspired him to keep trying. Actually, what happened was Vanitas was going to have everyone leave and seal the room until the monster consumed itself and disappeared on its own because there was no way for them to get the cursed one out of the monster in order to purify them. Noe convinced Vanitas to jump into the monster’s void-like maw in order to perhaps save the cursed one from inside of the monster.

Only, they didn’t know that that was going to work. For all they knew, they were going to their deaths. Instead of letting Noe go in on his own (because Noe wasn’t giving up, and he was going whether Vanitas went or not), Vanitas decided to go with Noe, knowing that it could be a suicide mission. It’s kind of romantic in a twisted way that Vanitas picked possibly dying with Noe instead of letting Noe go alone and then sealing up the room to let the monster eat itself out of existence.

But what I really like about this scene is the dialogue!

Vanitas: That’s the cursed one who created “Predator”. (The kanji says “shadow figure”/“silhouette”/“shadow monk”, but the furigana reads “puredatouuru”.)

Noe: It’s okay. We can win.

Vanitas: Ha. “So long as we’re together”?

This is a callback to a scene in Volume 3:

Here, Vanitas has just asked if Noe can win against Roland (I’m guessing that’s how you spell his name. In katakana, it’s “rooran”. I’m guessing that’s the French name “Roland”). Noe says, “I don’t know...but we can win. So long as we’re together.”

A note on my translation: That’s not literally what Noe says, but that’s the vibe. In Japanese, it’s “oretachi nara”. Literally, that means “so long as it’s us”. The emphasis is on “tachi”. “Ore” would just mean “me”. “Tachi” makes it plural, so Noe is emphasizing that so long as it’s him and Vanitas, they can win. It feels more natural in English for me to translate that as “so long as we’re together”.

I love the above scene of Vanitas and Noe laughing together after having pulled it off and narrowly escaped death. I also love Roland looking on in awe at a vampire and a human laughing together.

You can tell he ships it. This is his “and then a shipper was born” moment.

Above is another great scene. Amelia comes in to give Vanitas a message, and Noe is still sleeping. He’s just fallen out of bed with a loud crash.

Amelia: Noe-san?!

Vanitas: Oh, so he’s fallen out of bed again?

Amelia: Uh... Is this...really okay?

Noe: *soft, breathy snore*

Vanitas: Hey. Don’t get close to him. He’ll turn you into a body pillow.

I love the implication that Vanitas knows this fact from personal experience. How else would he know that Noe latches onto and snuggles anything and anyone within reach when he’s asleep? Vanitas has definitely gotten snuggled before, and I want fan art. XD

Honorable Mentions from Volume Four:

This scene. I won’t translate it word for word, but Vanitas is getting worked up because Noe refuses to take one of the Chasseurs hostage. Vanitas says that if Noe doesn’t like Vanitas’s way of doing things, he can just go because Vanitas doesn’t want to be around people with Noe’s soft way of thinking. Vanitas is afraid that if he spends time with people like Noe, Vanitas will eventually go soft too, and then he’ll end up dead.

I really love the depth of Vanitas’s character. Sensei has done an excellent job with him in particular (though, all of the characters are wonderful). His psychology is fascinating. He’s obviously been through a great deal, and he’s adapted in order to survive. He’s scared of letting people in because being the way he is and being a loner is what’s kept him alive and safe up until this point.

I’m really looking forward to seeing how Noe slowly chips away at the walls Vanitas has built around himself. ^w^

This is my other honorable mention. After Noe and Vanitas escape from the catacombs, Vanitas collapses next to Noe and slumps against Noe’s back. It’s really precious.

He closes his eyes and sighs, “I’m tired”. I love the trust and vulnerability here. Vanitas obviously feels safe enough around Noe to let his guard down. ^.^

My Love Letter to Yen Press:

Once again, if you’re interested in reading Vanitas no Carte, you can get it in English from Yen Press. I really love this publisher because they do an excellent job of staying true to the original text. When I was in high school and couldn’t read manga raw yet (either because I couldn’t get my hands on it or my reading level wasn’t sufficient for what I wanted to read), Yen Press was my favourite because I felt like I could trust them to translate the manga how I would myself.

When I was little, you couldn’t trust the people who were dubbing anime into English. They did ridiculous things to sanitize anime for kids’ consumption like editing out all of the cigarettes and guns. They changed dialogue so that characters who had been hinted at being queer in the original were no longer queer in the English dub. They did silly things to localize the anime like changing onigiri into donuts and whitewashing the characters. That was my main motivation for teaching myself Japanese. I wanted to be able to tell for myself what was actually being said and going on. Yen Press was one of the companies I could trust to be faithful to the original in their translations until I was able to read the original on my own, so I’m sure they’ve done a fabulous job with Vanitas no Carte, if you’re interested in checking it out. ^.^

Okay. That’s it for me for now. Do you guys like me talking about my favourite scenes? ^.^; I know my Ladybug followers are probably like, “What is she on about?” XD Thank you for indulging me.

#Vanitas no Carte #Vanoé #Noe Archiviste #Vanitas #The Case Study of Vanitas #Vnc #Vanitas no Shuki #The Island of Doctor Moreau #Vanitas no Carte Volume Four

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simplysummers · 3 years

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Hi :)

About a month ago I got a bunch of asks asking me to test my ‘dashboard osmosis’, and try to give a summary/brief paragraph about my thoughts on a few fandoms that I’ve seen floating around tumblr recently. Out of the six asks, I’m only involved in one of the fandoms, so please take this with a pinch of salt. All is meant in good fun and I’m not here to judge or ridicule anyone for their interests (I’m a Star Wars geek for goodness sakes, that’d be very hypocritical of me) I thought it would be easier to answer these all in one post, spare spamming my mutuals with my nonsensical ramblings.

@esquire-chicken

Hey bestie. I am HERE to deliver.

Okay so for the Loki fandom, I get the vibe a LOT of you are LGBT+, so many people have been raving about Loki being a confirmed bisexual and as much as I can’t stand this man (I’m sorry!!) I’m honestly here for it. We love to see the rep. I also saw lots of people raving about him being a confirmed hero, so, I guess that’s cool too? Yay?

I feel like this fandom can be a little defensive, which is highkey terrifying, but I suppose we all have our faves. But i want yall to drink some water and…idk play with chalk for an hour from time to time.

@treasureofmy-heart

I know absolutely NOTHING about Six of Crows, but from your dash I know that Jesper is a big favourite. He seems like a cool dude, maybe a bit mentally unstable but cool nonetheless. I like Wylan’s aesthetic! Is he gay? He seems kinda gay…. Oh and Nina is absolutely beautiful. I feel like everyone in the fandom fancies her but she’s just a powerhouse bitch who ain’t taking shit from anyone. I can’t really explain this but I feel like your fandom has some extremely talented artists. Like the art you’ve reblooged is phenomenal.

Hey anon 😎 I’m not going to lie I had to Google what the desticule was because I’m uncultured as fuck, and then I realised it’s related to Supernatural which I STILL know nothing about, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.

But I can safely say yall are BATSHIT INSANE AND I LOVE YALL FOR IT. didn’t you guys take over tumblr at one point??? Like weren’t people who hadnt even seen Supernatural spewing random facts like possessed puppets? Yall are demons and I just adore every single one of you for it. Didn’t that one guy Jensen steal the show or something? Like what an icon. I know nothing about him but I stan. You guys have my eternal gratitude just for existing.

@quillsink

Chandler should’ve been confirmed bisexual that is all I have to say. I know absolutely nothing about Joey but I am a Chanoey shipper through and through because of you. Like yes. Phoebe is a queen and I love her with every fibre to my being, I feel like she is an underappreciated icon and deserves more attention. Uhmmm let me thinkkkk, Ross is a questionable dude and not a lot of people like him, aaaaand Monica needs a cup of coffee, as does half of your fandom :) I know this said more about the show rather than the fandom, but I feel as though these are common beliefs amongst you all.

@lirinck2

Bestie I have absolutely NO idea what this show is about but I LOVE their fashion sense, I feel like that’s a really big people pleaser amongst the fandom. A lot of the characters seem to have deep trauma from what I’ve seen, and I think that might resonate with a lot of its fans (lmao ‘cause same), alongside the fact it seems under appreciated and accepted in its time. The dark and eerie mystery settings give off a thriller fandom vibe, and I’m honestly intrigued. I legit want to watch this show. You’ve got me hooked.

Ahh last but certainly not least. I’m not going to touch upon the Hamilton fandom because my opinion in that regard is well known enough as it is, but for the amrev fandom, I can say 10000%, we are all absolutely fucking ridiculous (affectionately).

I mean, you have your factual posters like Amanda, Julia, Elle, Byrd, Sarah, Sev, and I (from time to time), alongside this you have your slightly loopy but absolutely loveable fanfic writers/artists like Ink, Hannah, Polly, Ray, Tori, Clair, Sofia, Rose, and Lin. We’re all quite vibey, a little crazy and very homosexual, but yknow, we get by.

*sigh* but then I bring thee down to….the shitposters who actually terrify me and deserve exorcisms; Kit, Lisa, Hayhay, every Alex ever, Su, Mellisa Tracyn, Jon, honestly this list is just endless here. Yall scare me and I’m actually in awe of that fact. We’re a very diverse fandom, as you can tell. You guys NEVER know what this bunch will come up with, they’re a ticking time bomb and it’s great, they keep us on our toes. Love you guys.

Lmao I hope did your fandoms justice, and like I said, none of this is to be taken seriously, it’s all in good fun!

#ask bea #bea’s mutuals #supernatural #desticule #friends #amrev #american revolution #Loki #six of crows #murdoch mysteries #ink 🖋#jamie 👑#friendos ✨

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ssamie · 3 years

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thirteen. “til death do us part”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide, jumping off a bridge ;-; (nobody dies tho)

masterlist. suicide freak!

"well what happened afterwards??" kuroo asked kenma

the boys were in kenma's room chilling and playing games while kenma tells kuroo about his confession "uh.. nothing really" kenma said with a sigh

"she didn't respond but she didn't really reject me either" he said "she had a call from her agency saying they needed her for something and she had to leave"

kuroo was visibly disappointed at the result, patting his friend's back as he let out a sigh "well, like you said, she technically didn't reject you" he said "plus, she's been fawning over you for a long time. im pretty sure she likes you back"

kenma furrowed his brows and shrugs. "sure i guess.." the pudding head muttered

"cmon, kenma! don't get all sulky on me now!" kuroo exclaimed. the boy laid back on the bed and pulled out kenma's phone, placing it between them and began counting

"ten.. nine.. eight..seven.. six.."

"what the hell are you doing?" kenma deadpanned "im counting down the seconds it takes before y/n tells you to meet up or something" kuroo explained

".. five.. four.. three.."

"im pretty sure it doesn't work like that-" he was cut off by the loud ringing of the phone. the caller id was shown, revealing it to be y/n herself. kuroo jumps up and cheers, yelling and howling in happiness as he ruffles kenma's hair

"kenma, i told you!!" kuroo exclaimed excitedly "dude, i should be a fucking psychic"

"no, you shouldn't"

kenma picks up the phone with shaky hands. he sends kuroo a wary glance, who simply gave him a thumbs up in return. his trembling fingers answered the call, and then pressed the phone to his ear

"h-hello? y/n?"

"kenma! how's my favourite pudding-head doing? ow-" she asked

kenma furrowed his brows as he heard her wincing from the other line, undoubtedly from pain. "um.. are you okay?" he asks worriedly

"oh yes, of course i am" she answered way too quickly for it to not be suspicious "but i do need your help for something.. come to the same bridge from last night" she said in a serious tone

kenma gulped as he made various frantic gestures to kuroo, silently asking for his help. though kuroo was no help since all he did was smile blankly while holding up two thumbs up

"um, okay! do i go there now or..?"

"yup! bye-bye ~"

kenma then let himself drop to the ground as soon as the call ended. he felt like turning into a puddle and drying up from the nervousness flowing through his whole body at the moment

"k-kuroo.." he mumbled "dude, you okay?" kuroo asked with a chuckle "like i said, y/n is definitely responding to the confession!"

"yeah okay-" kenma grumbled

"but please help me up. 80% of my nervousness is now in my knees. i can't stand."

kenma nuzzled his nose into his hoodie, covering half of his face as he nervously approached the riverbank. like he said beforehand, his nervousness has traveled down to his knees and it seems that it still hasn't left.

"hey hey hey ~ over here, kenma!" she yelled

kenma looked up to see her waving her arm around like a madman. though, one of her arms were in a sling, and she just looked quite roughed out more than usual

he jogged over to her with a frown while eyeing her obvious injuries "hey, what what happened to you?" kenma asked her

"oh this? this is nothing" she said with a laugh "i somehow broke it during a mission last night, but not to worry, the ever so lovely yosano-san cured me" she laughed nervously

"ah yes.. yosano-san.." she shuddered

it left kenma thinking of what could have possibly been so bad about getting cured. though he left it be and paid no mind.

"so why did you call me?" he asked her. he was feeling quite anxious at the moment and he was feeling very thankful that she wasn't acting indifferent towards him

"well, i called you over for multiple things" she said

"firstly.."

kenma gulped as she paused dramatically, leaving him to anticipate whatever it is that she has to say

"i need you to play this game for me so i can pretend to be better than chuuya." she stated with a straight face. she then handed him her phone, which had the game's chat open and had chuuya laughing and teasing her

chuuya's messages consisted of 'you're such a fucking loser' and 'you suck balls' among others.

"what?" kenma sweat dropped

"please! that munchkin will get too happy if he wins one more time!" she pleaded

kenma sighed but did as he was told. he was playing the game while she watched him with sparkling eyes "kenma! you're a lifesaver!" she exclaimed once she had won the game

"could you imagine me losing to chuuya?!" she scoffed out with a grin "gosh! my ego wouldn't be able to handle such torture!"

"now, secondly.." she paused once again "eat this ramen with me!"

kenma sweat dropped as she had randomly pulled out two cup ramens, which for some reason are both hot and in well condition

"where did you even get that?" kenma asked her with a soft laugh

"that's a secret! but did you know-" she mused "the reason i got this for us is because ranpo-san told me about it. apparently, its a 'deathly spicy ramen' and he wanted to refer it to me"

kenma blinked at her but smiled anyways "wow. so then im assuming you're expecting us to die from this?"

"its worth a shot!" she cheered. she handed him chopsticks and sent him a cocky grin "i'll let you know i can handle spicy food quite well"

"so if all else fails, i packed a ghost pepper just in case-"

"please put the pepper away <3"

kenma sighed as he reluctantly ate the ramen, slurping on the noodles and soup as tears brimmed his eyes "im not very good with spicy food.." he muttered as he fanned his mouth

"finish it!!" she exclaimed, though tears has also brimmed her eyes

"you're in the brink of tears too!" he groaned in agitation

"these are tears of happiness! i can almost taste the death looming over us!" she exclaimed with a grin

after finishing the very spicy ramen, she had unfortunately concluded that it was, in fact, not deadly. in the end, the pair had to run to a nearby food stall to buy some drinks

and as they were drinking, y/n had once again perched herself onto the flat surface of the metal railings, letting her feet dangle as they watched the sunset in peace

"y/n.. about last night.." kenma muttered out nervously

"ah yes, your confession?" she chuckled "no need to worry about that. i already know what im gonna say.."

kenma blinked in shock, frantically averting his eyes from her and to the ground as he felt his anxiety rocketing

"which brings me to my third reason of calling you over.." she said "kenma, there's something i need to tell you" she said

her expression had gone aloof and the playful smile on her lips has now faltered "what is it?" he gulped

she took two steps back as she looked him in the eyes. her (e/c) orbs not seeming to give any hints as she peered at him

"y/n.. if you're gonna reject me then-" he was, of course, cut off once again as she suddenly pulled her 'injured' arm out of her sling and popped it out to wave at him

"boo!" she cooed out with a dumb smile

"what the hell." kenma replied as he blankly stared at her

she laughed and slipped the sling off, folding it neatly before casually throwing it down the bridge "did i have you fooled?" she chuckled "anyways.. about that statement you didn't get to finish.." she hummed

"what makes you think i would reject you?" she asked him

her bandaged hand patted the spot next to her, indicating that she wanted him to sit. following her wishes, kenma hesitantly sat next to her.

he was fiddling with his fingers as a huge and overbearing wave of silence washed upon them. fortunately for him, she wasn't looking so she couldn't see his trembling body, and the nervous look on his face

"well, i kind of assumed you don't like me since.. you kinda left me hanging last night.." kenma muttered

"hm, i did do that.." she hummed back quietly "what would you do if i said i liked you back?" she asked him

kenma couldn't see it, but it seemed he could basically feel her cheeky smile appearing "um.." he stammered

what would he do? he didn't really know. he didn't plan that far ahead. and kuroo was nowhere to give him some awful but doable advice.

"i-i don't know.." he stuttered out. kenma could feel himself heating up. its like his cheeks was on fire as he felt bursts of embarrassment and butterflies banging on his stomach.

"would you kiss me?" she mused

kenma froze up. he looked up at her, face beet red and eyes as wide as saucers, as he mumbled incoherent words

"well- no? i don't really know how to do that-" he stammered "or yeah- if you want- or um- i love you."

she chuckled and slowly faced him with a gentle smile "i love you too, then" she laughed

kenma has officially blown a fuse.

his face exploded into a bright red as he felt all the weight of the pressure and anxiety leave his body

"so, do i get my kiss now?" she asked teasingly

"uh well-" kenma muttered with a sheepish smile "i dunno how-"

he was cut off by a hand grabbing a tuft of his hair from his nape. her fingers tugged on his faux blonde locks as she pulled his face closer to his

"itadakimasu~" she cooed out

kenma.exe has stopped working.

once her lips had pressed onto his, his whole body tensed up. though a total contrast to his reaction, she was quite calm. obviously calm enough to shove her tongue down his throat.

their kiss was short but sensual. he took notice of how deliciously addicting her tongue danced against his. he definitely needed to ask where she got all those kissing skills from later on.

he may not like the answer since it was from chuuya, but let's not get into that..

she pulled away after a minute, her grip on his hair loosening as she pressed one last peck on his parted lips. she backed away and licked her lips to tease him.

"oh my" she cooed at him "if i would've known you taste this good, then i would've kissed you much sooner"

"u-umm.." kenma muttered bashfully

he was blinking sluggishly as his fingers lightly graze his lips, reminiscing in the feeling of hers against it.

"y/n.. will you be my girlfriend?... please?" he asked in a quiet and flustered tone. all the nonexistent confidence he had before has now fully evaporated away.

"of course." she mused

"wait-really??" kenma asked her with a look of disbelief and sheer happiness

he bit back a smile as he looked up to look at the setting sun, then back at her. her features were illuminated by the soft golden rays, making her look simply ethereal, atleast to him.

kenma was then brought back into reality as he felt the soft skin of her hand and the textured bandages touch his.

she intertwined their hands and brought it up to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. she chuckled at him as he turned his head to the side, trying to hide his blush from her.

"til death do us part." she grinned

"okay, that was very sweet.. but when it comes from you, it kinda seems like you're about to kill us both-"

without uttering another word, she pushed herself off from the railings she was sat on, and tugged him along with her.

"y-y/n?! y/n!" kenma shrieked as he felt himself free falling in the air. his grip on her hand tightened as he nervously recoiled into a ball. the cold air hit his skin in the most nerve wracking way, leaving his skin with goosebumps and shivers tingling down his spine.

"so this is what it's like.." she mumbled

kenma looked over to her, the panic in his eyes gradually fading as he was met with her warm and love-filled orbs. she held the most tranquil and peaceful smile as she looked at him with a sense of joy and plenitude.

"y/n.." his lips quivered as he gripped her closer

she simply smiled at him as both of their hair flew erraticly due to the wind. the sound of the flowing water got louder and louder

until finally, they hit the surface with a huge splash.

she faintly heard loud and ragged breaths coming from kenma as he swims back up for air, hastily paddling against the strong current to drag himself and, her as well, back to land.

"I KNEW IT! ARE YOU CRAZY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" he exclaimed once he catched his breath

she laid down on the grassy ground beneath them and closed her eyes. she had a faint smile on her lips as she mumbled under her breath

"double suicide.. im definitely not dying unless it feels like that.." she whispered

kenma's demeanour softened at her words. he laid down beside her with a huff, tucking his wet hair behind his ears and doing the same for her.

"if we're gonna kill each other, atleast tell me first." he sighed "also, drowning is definitely scratched off your list"

"well, you look like you can't swim so.." she chuckled playfully "that's not a valid excuse" kenma sighed, though a fond smile etched itself on his lips

they probably looked quite strange to other's perspectives, if anything, they looked like dead bodies that had washed up to shore.

but they didn't really care.

"also, that was a very weird assumption. do i really look that lanky to you?"

"yes <3"

kissing scenes are so weird to write, or at least for me ;-;

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kashimos-hajime · 4 years

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dear... whoever | b.b.

summary: a mandated series of long and short diary entries from the new head of R&D for Stark Industries.

WARNINGS: swearing, LOTS of fluff, mentions of drinking and sex and hospitals and guns, general fun and witty attitude, small angst, big jealousy, obviously au after civil war. everything after does not exist. pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader word count: 9.5k

a/n: written for @softbiker and 100% inspired by @sunmoonandbucky with the format. my prompt was let me love you by rita ora and i wrote it from the perspective the singer is singing it to rather than the actual singer. this was super fun to write. enjoy!

July 31/20

Dear…

Whoever is going to read this. So… me, in the future probably. So, it should be dear WHOMever, I think, but it sounds wrong.

Is it too cliché to say dear diary? I don’t know. After all, I don’t WANT to be writing this but unfortunately I am because it’s mandated. Apparently, the psychiatrist that works for Stark Industries thinks it’s necessary that I write down my feelings and show that I’ve adjusted to working part-time superhero, full-time head of Tony’s stupid R&D department.

Something about how that much stress can cause psychotic fractures in the worst case scenario.

Cute.

Anyway, I don’t know what to write. Currently, it’s 4:23AM. The only reason I’m awake is because I have trouble sleeping on the best night. I heard Barnes messing about and because I am the Hermit of the Rec Room Couch (catchy, I know), I can hear him just walking about.

What the hell is he even doing?

To be honest, I’ve never talked to Barnes besides the occasional greetings because he’s the sort to keep to himself, I guess, and, valid. I’m not saying it’s not, considering his history, but you know.

I think I’m a friendly person, and I’m bored. He’s eventually going to hear me writing noisily because of super-soldier hearing or whatever, so I might just get up and introduce myself.

Not that I’ve been working here for years, but whatever.

I’m really bored and hungry, honestly, so a trip to the kitchen would be considered normal (and warranted) in such circumstances.

Fuck it.

Time to make a new friend or die trying. If you never hear from me again, you’ll know why.

Aug. 1/20

Dear Jane,

I finally got the time to write in here and you may be wondering why I have named you. Well, after the conversation at roughly 4:30 AM, here are things that’ve changed in a disorganized list. None is more important than the other. I'm just writing what comes to my head.

One: Barnes said he doesn’t really let anyone call him James. I called him James once because I forgot. Profuse apologies followed. He said it was okay and didn’t mind me calling him that. Now, in my mind, I think he’s just saying this to be polite and really just wants me to call him Bucky but he seemed sincere. We’ll see how it goes.

Two: Barnes was awake because his cat woke him up. I didn’t even know he had a cat but it’s a gorgeous white cat named Alpine that Barnes carries around in his half-zipped up hoodies sometimes. It’s adorable. He’s super soft and friendly and I love him already. He showed me all the tricks Alpine could do. Amazing.

Three: Barnes’ favourite movie is the Godfather. Totally surprising there. Please tell me you understand sarcasm.

Four: He said he liked the name Jane when I told him what I was doing up and also in the rec room (couldn’t sleep, writing in my diary) and that I didn’t want to say “Dear diary”

“Why don’t you just give it a name?” he eloquently suggested and Jane was his answer to my question of “Which name?”

Five: Barnes, or James, I guess he is now, is my friend.

Six: We said we’d meet up at 4:30AM or earlier again because I told him I wanted to show him my s’mores dip recipe.

Seven: Wish me luck. Hope I don’t get murdered.

Eight: I think I might be in love with him.

Bye.

Aug. 5/20

Dear Jane,

In an effort to summarize what has happened in the past four days, I will open with the fact that James Buchana Barnes is the cutest motherfucker on the planet. He’s super old fashioned, but that’s a given. He opens the doors for me, offers to take my bags up, and in the past four days, we’ve met up at around midnight to just eat and chat. Then he walks me back to my room with a glass of water and I’m left fanning myself because it’s so sweet and he’s so sweet and OH, MY GOD, I am a child.

This feels like a crush. Like, butterflies in my stomach, self-conscious every time he looks at me, can’t stop staring, and wanting to impress him at every turn sort of crush.

AKA, a middle-school crush and I feel completely ridiculous but that is besides the point because he’s just the loveliest person.

Someone should tell him chivalry is dead. Steve thinks he’s just being sweet on me, and Sam says I should flash some ass just to get a rise out of him which would be funny. He’d look absolutely adorable blushing his head off.

We’ll see. I am considering it.

What else happened? I’m drawing a huge blank.

As explained in a previous entry, I was to show Barnes my s’mores dip recipe. Huge success. Crowd loved it. That’s how I learned he has a huge sweet tooth like me. Got an email from Pep about a board meeting which I ignored. If it’s really important, she’ll see me in person. Went swimming with Sam. We started planning Tony’s big Christmas party even though that’s MONTHS away.

But, you know. We’re so busy all the time, it might be worth it planning ahead.

As head of R&D, it’s vital to me that this goes well because they’re fun when they do go well, and a chaotic disaster when they don’t. Also, I have to find a date but details will follow.

I think that’s it.

If there’s more to follow, then I’ll just come back but there really isn’t.

Oh, Alpine found my room. He’s in here right now and he snores. It’s cute, just like his owner.

Okay, goodnight.

Aug. 7/20

Dear Jane,

Sam, James, and I went swimming.

Pro of the day: James is ripped and that man was GLISTENING.

Con of the day: I AM STUPID in front of hot ripped men.

Pro of the day: We got ice cream together. Strawberry for me, mango for James because he wants to try new flavours, and Sam ordered some monstrosity with vanilla ice cream, chocolate and raspberry syrups, and a bunch of banana slices. A swirl of whipped cream to finish it off. It looked like diabetes in a cup and that’s coming from me.

Con of the day: James used his thumb to wipe the ice cream off my lip and my brain short-circuited. Sam teased us about it, but James very stubbornly and convincingly said we’re just friends.

Con of the day x2: We are just friends and that is NOT going to change. I cannot explain how much my heart literally fell out of my body in disappointment.

God, and James and I are meeting up at 2AM tonight so he can show me this new stupid stuffed celerey recipe he learned.

It’s not stupid.

It’s really, REALLY cute he researched it.

This sucks.

Aug. 11/20

The worst day ever. I don’t want to talk about it but might as well make a note on it. More on it later, I guess.

Aug. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry, I’m dramatic. Must get it from working with Tony for so many years.

Let’s just review what occurred on August 11, 2020, at approximately 3:23 in the afternoon.

I learned that James went out on a date. A DATE. From SAM. When James had ample opportunity to tell me at our regular meeting at witching hour over celery sticks.

EXCUSE ME? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

I’m not even mad. I’m just angry that the man I became friends with only 2 weeks ago and caught feelings immediately for is seeing other people.

I sound like a raging bitch. I promise you, Jane, that I am not. I’m just the insanely jealous type.

No, I’m not.

God, what is happening to me and why does it have to be James.

I never get crushes and the instant I do, it’s for the most emotionally and physically unavailable person ON EARTH.

Also, work was work. I was distracted, drank soup from the canteen, and generally accomplished nothing. Alpine came for some snuggles while James was out. That’s the only good thing.

Thanks, universe.

Aug. 16/20

Dear Jane,

So, I brought up this mystery lady over homemade sundaes.

James seems pretty serious about her because he a) apologized for not telling because he wanted to keep it private and asked me not to tell anyone and b) has a second date with her later today.

Oh, GOD. There is no point to this.

Aug. 19/20

Dear Jane,

What’s the point of asking someone intimate, personal questions if not because you guys are best friends?

James called me his best friend today. He says he knows me, but if he did, he’d know I feel like throwing up whenever he’s around and that his stare burns through every layer of clothing until I feel like he just knows my secret.

I told him we’ve known each other less than a month, but he said something stupidly charming about “intuition” and feeling and that this feels right and how he knows he can tell me anything and that I was an easy person to talk to.

I should’ve been a shrink.

At least, my trip to Wakanda is going to give me distance. A solid two months of no one else but me, tech, and new faces. Going there to collaborate with Shuri is definitely exciting and taking up more space in my brain than James these days.

Maybe I’ll fall in love with some soldier over there because apparently, I’m catching feelings willy-nilly these days.

See you on the plane, Jane.

Aug. 23/20

Dear Jane,

On the quinjet, it’s fairly quiet. It’s one of the things I love about it. The silent yet soft engines that can lull me to sleep. We should be arriving in a few hours so I thought I’d write. I’m getting the hang of this, I think.

There's a press conference later, too, in the trip with the UN and it’s not that I can’t handle it, but that I could’ve done this in my sleep and wished Tony sent someone else. I hate the press, not gonna lie.

Anyway, this gives me time to be introspective.

Is it just me or James always Okay, is it just my imagination that whenever I try to get close to James, he just kinda pulls away? Not in a romantic way. I’m not stealing anyone’s man because girl code, but he won’t even let me just stand near him anymore. It’s like I have an infectious disease only transmitted through physical contact and it’s just weird.

I don’t know.

Before I left, he said he’d miss me and that we should keep in touch through calls (Obviously, I would) and that he hopes I won’t forget him.

So, you say those things but you won’t even let me even hug you?

You’re a manipulative asshole, Barnes.

Oct. 20/20

Dear Jane,

I am so sorry that it has taken so long for us to reunite.

In hindsight, I’m a fucking idiot.

I left you on the quinjet which went back to New York and a different quinjet came to pick me up. I came back like two days ago so these past few days have been spent searching for you.

James offered to help, and he seems normal again.

Weird. Guess he was just in a mood with the new girlfriend and adjusting to having me as a friend, too. Guys go through that, I guess.

In Wakanda, I did not, in fact, fall in love with a soldier or anything. I curse every day that I didn’t, trust me. I’m just as disappointed as you are because I just want to get over this stupid crush. For the two months I was gone, it was like I didn’t like James at all like that. Even during calls, I could pretend we were just two teammates keeping each other in the loop. He talked about his girlfriend, I listened, I explained science because he’s a nerd, and he asked questions like he was interested.

It was FINE.

Then, he was waiting for me when I came back to NYC and it slammed into me like Bruce in Hulk-mode.

James asked if I wanted to meet his girlfriend because she’d be coming around for the Halloween party anyway, and he thinks we’ll get along swimmingly.

He really said swimmingly. He is stuck in the wrong era, but we all knew that.

I said yes, to be polite.

Here’s to hoping she’s a vindictive bitch and I am justified in hating her entire being.

Oct. 22/20

Dear Jane,

I met her. She’s small and pretty and mature and normal.

If I wasn’t stupidly in my feelings about James, I’d love her, too.

She’d treat him right, give him a good home to come back to.

Best not to notice the people fighting beside you in that way, I guess.

Oct. 25/20

Dear Jane,

God is dead and NO ONE has eyes on the road.

Jesus isn’t even taking the wheel on this one.

It’s a fucking disaster.

I do not want to describe in every little detail the intricacies of dreaming about James Buchanan Barnes fucking my brains out, so I won’t, but this is for the record that it happened and how the fuck am I supposed to come back and see him in his probably gorgeous attempt at his recreation of Brendan Fraser from the Mummy AKA my favourite movie (which HE KNOWS THAT IT IS?? GOD, the audacity.)

Girlfriend (his girlfriend. “Girlfriend” is the name which she shall be henceforth known as in these entries because petty wins are all I have right now) is dressing as Rachel Weisz. Because “couples goals” or whatever.

I wouldn’t know. Sam and I are dressed up as sexy salt and pepper shakers (his idea, not mine) and he made me take the salt stick because I think he knows. Steve’s not dressing up because he’s more focused on handing out candy as Captain America.

Tony is… Tony. Iron Man and all that.

Anyway, I’m out of town in DC for a meeting with the Secretary of State for a few days, but I’ll be back in New York on the 30th so I’ll have a few hours to adjust to being around James again before he dons on that outfit that I know will be totally hot.

He called me his best friend again in his latest email.

Made me smile like an idiot, but I digress.

Nov. 1/20

Dear Jane,

Halloween was killer. Sam and I won best duo for costumes because we’re that good. Ate a lot of candy and it seems to be looking up.

I dunno. I didn’t mind James and Girlfriend on the couch that much in the after-party. Mostly stuck by Nat and Sharon and Tony. An ood trio, but a fun one nonetheless.

It was fun, but I still have to go to work no matter how many jello shots and vodka gummy bears consumed.

Wish me luck, not that I need it.

Why do you think Tony hired me?

Nov. 4/20

Dear Jane.

Natasha said I smile at James in a way that utterly betrays every emotion I want to hide in my chest.

Note to self: Don’t smile at James, or at his jokes, or at anything he ever does again. Avoid him. Put a stopper on this friendship.

Note to note to self: I can’t. He just makes me smile whenever he’s around and he’s always around. There’s no simpler way to put it.

I’m gonna try this hiatus thing, though. Distance myself a bit. We’ll see how it goes.

Nov. 13/20

Dear Jane,

Day nine of this hiatus business and it sucks. I miss my best friend.

We’re scheduled for a mission together, and we’re leaving tomorrow so I was going to have to talk to him during the briefing and the op either way.

Well, glad to know this didn’t work.

Nov. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Guess who just got fucking shot!

ME!

Guess even scumbags can’t take a holiday because some stupid arms dealer got a cheap shot on me while I was downloading their whole computer system and other tech mumbo-jumbo I am too high to write about.

James left a few hours ago with the rest of the team, but not before he got me a bunch of ice chips and said he was worried and that he hopes I get better soon. He even promised to get me some flowers to spruce up the room and to say my HEART went CRAZY is an understatement.

He came to my rescue, essentially, as soon as he heard I got pinned. He carried me to the quinjet the instant he cleared the area and stayed by my side the whole time even though the bleeding stopped and I was in good hands. He was just so protective, barking at doctors and nurses. It was embarrassing but also really, really sweet.

Is it weird of me to say that I want him to stay by my side forever?

I’ve never fallen in love before.

Is it always this fast and this hard? I feel like I’m crashing instead of gently and wonderfully falling. Everything is dumb and awful.

Is this what love is like? Because it hurts worse than getting shot because I think I’m going to vomit flowers or butterflies or something.

God, he’d never love me. We’re just friends and even though we have a lot in common, he’d never. It’s just too much of the past in the present or whatever.

Also, he has a girlfriend but it seems very surface-level. God, that makes me sound like a “one of the boys” type of girl who’s a bitch to one of the boy’s new girlfriends, but I don’t know. James told me they don’t really talk about the deep stuff like we do. But she makes him happy, I think.

In hindsight, one may ask what the deep stuff is.

More on that later. I’m tired.

God, why him?

I HATE THIS.

goodnight.

Nov. 16/20

Dear Jane,

James visited again today. He sat beside me and we talked until the nurses had to kick him out. He also brought the flowers.

I asked about Girlfriend casually. I said I liked her.

He said he did, too.

I don’t know why I think he’s lying. No, I do.

It’s because jealousy is the green-eyed bitch from highschool who still shows up in my life because she thinks she’s relevant to society.

That was mean. Unrequited love makes you mean. Side effect noted.

P.S. The deep stuff includes his past, his arm, his memory, his favourite colour. I dunno why that matters. It just does.

Nov. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Got out of the hospital today because of advanced technology and all that. Nothing’s left but a scar and residual soreness. James helped me to my room and said to call him if I had a problem.

I joked that he has a girlfriend and for some reason, he got really weird about it. It’s hard to describe. I dunno. Nat dropped by for popcorn and movies.

It’s 2:32AM. I’m wondering if he’s in the kitchen but I’m confined to bed rest so I don’t know. Also, Nat is asleep beside me and I don’t want to bother her.

Hopefully I can get up and move in a few days. Life is boring.

Nov. 24/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry we haven’t caught up in a moment. Work’s been hectic and I’ve been working overtime trying to make ends meet. Most days I’m in the office or lab, just trying to get enough things done so I can take time off come Christmas.

James stopped by tonight with Chinese takeout and some sweet buns.

He broke up with his girlfriend, too.

Guess that’s why he was being weird about it.

I tried being as casual as I could asking why, but he didn’t want to talk about it, so I asked why he came by. Couldn’t be for the company because when I’m in work mode, I just don’t talk and he knows that.

He said something about his arm feeling funny so I gave it a quick diagnostics check.

I think both of us knew his arm was feeling fine.

Everything is stupid, life is meaningless, and James’ lips are the prettiest shade of pink in the ugly lights of the lab.

I would very much like to have kissed him, but I didn’t.

Girl code.

It’ll probably be a while before I get another chance to actually have time and energy to write another diary entry. Christmas season’s coming close and Pepper is gonna need help with the party.

Yay, me.

Dec. 4/20

Dear Jane,

Morgan asked me in less eloquent words if I had a boyfriend (it was more like “You boyfriend?” But whatever. Who even taught her that word?) and I swear to GOD Nat could not make it anymore obvious looking at James.

Remind me to absolutely throttle her. I don’t care if she’s the infamous Black Widow. She has clearly never seen me hopped up on nothing but a negative amount of sleep and rage/embarrassment/spite/all of the above.

On another note, Pep asked if I was bringing a plus one for the party. I said I’d think about it. Normally I’d just take Sam but he has his eyes on someone at the VA and I like my friends getting laid so no go there.

Might just go alone. I don’t know.

Pep said I should take James, but I don’t really think she knows the truth about that situation. Luckily, Tony instantly rejected the idea and said he’d find me a date if I couldn’t.

Thank the universe for at least placing me in the close circle of the most well-known and richest man in the world because he also gave me his card and said go wild.

He knows me so well. I’m thinking about Christmas shopping when I have another free day, and I’ll pay for that with my own money, of course, but clothes shopping is a free market.

I cannot wait.

Dec. 12/20

Dear Jane,

I wish I could show you my haul, but I got so much stuff Happy had to drive to help me. Besides obvious gifts, I also managed to snag a gorgeous dress for the party.

Thoughts on black and gold?

I think it’s beautiful. Hopefully Nat and Sharon think so. We’re having a girls night tonight and showing off outfits, so that’s exciting.

James asked if we could meet up tonight.

I told him I had plans and he looked so downcast.

I dunno. Everything feels weird between us. Like we’re fine, we’re best friends still, but something’s changed when no one was looking. He’s single now. I guess that energy is different because I had gotten used to his energy with ex-Girlfriend.

I don’t exactly mind but it’s not ideal either. I miss summer. It’s much less complicated than winter. Winter, one has to worry about wind and chills and snows blocking roads, black ice, dry skin, freezing fingers.

Summer: there’s just a lot of sun, wind, bugs, and the vaguest notion of being bored.

Look, I love winter. It’s my favourite season. It’s quiet and gorgeous and dreamy, even though it gets dreary in New York. The snow falls slowly sometimes, Christmas is gorgeous here, and I’d rather be cold than sweating buckets, and there are no bugs to bother me. Also, it gives me a good reason to stay in the labs or in my room where it’s warm and toasty.

I just miss the relative simplicity when James and I were just strangers on the edge of being friends, which is, in retrospect, a selfish reason to like one season and hate another.

Well, some philosopher somewhere probably said something about humanity being selfish.

Dec. 16/20

Dear Jane,

T-minus nine days until the party.

No date in sight.

Maybe I’ll ask Anderson from HR. We had coffee together a few times and he’s nice. Good catch: smart, not too bad looking, and really nice. I’ll head down tomorrow and ask.

Alpine had purred when I told him my plan and headbutted my hand, so I guess I got the Alpine-Seal-of-Approval.

Dec. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Operation: Ask Anderson from HR to Tony’s Christmas Party failed. Granted, it could’ve been because that was a god awful title and that that name, in itself, prophesied catastrophic failure, but also because I was accosted by my best friend.

I wish I meant Sam.

Nope. James caught me in the elevator and we made small talk. Sounds fine, right? Then we turned the topic to the party. Talked about clothes and prospective celebrity appearances and drinks and food. Just about everything, so might as well turn to talks about dates, which meant I had to explain why I was in the elevator in the first place.

Going down to ask Anderson ended in James revealing that he didn’t have a date either.

He doesn’t know who Anderson is, which I thought would be the case, and he popped the question before the doors opened.

Notice how I said “didn't” have a date.

Guess who’s going to the party with James, clearly stated as friends, platonic soulmates, etc.?

Me.

Yippee.

Dec. 18/20

Dear Jane,

It’s 3:42AM and I’m in the rec room as usual. I was gonna not write here today but it normally helps me sleep to just write a bit, get what little thoughts are in my head out. Yeah.

I hear James in the kitchen talking to Alpine and it’s making me smile like an idiot.

Oh, shit, he knows I’m in here. He’s making milkshakes.

I am morally obligated by best friend duties to join him.

Goodnight, Jane.

Dec. 24/20

Dear Jane,

I’m not sleeping with James Buchanan Barnes tomorrow night.

This is a resolute promise. An early New Year’s resolution.

Dec. 25/20

Dear Jane,

Merry Christmas!

In between jovial festivities, I’ve finally found a little nook that’s quiet enough to write in. We opened presents, had a big family breakfast, went skating and just lounged around, and frankly, I’m exhausted. Need to recharge the old social battery.

Among the assortment of gifts is one that stands out to me. James got me a gift that said “Open When Alone” and I did before I started this entry and it was a fucking necklace. Like, a gorgeous one. It’s gold and thin and it feels wonderful. There’s a little cat paw charm on it and it’s so pretty because he has a matching bracelet for himself and I have still not yet recovered.

It’s just so sweet and it reminds me why I love him.

Yes, love has made me unbelievably sappy. I just heaved the biggest sigh in history.

Unfortunately, I have to go earlier tonight. To the party, as written in previous entries. I remember my oath of one-night celibacy and I intend on keeping it, despite how fucking endearing this gift was, because he said it best: we’re just friends. I’m not about to coerce my best friend into sleeping with me out of a piteous, unrequited love. That’s just gross.

You will either see me hungover tomorrow, or very drunk later tonight. It’s all very depending on how this night turns out.

Dec. 26/20

Dear Jane,

Fuck.

P.S. He REALLY does not mind me calling him James. Take that as dirtily or as clandestinely as you wish.

Dec. 27/20

Dear Jane,

I spent the entire day in bed with very pleasurable company.

I am SO GLAD we haven’t gotten called in because James doesn’t leave unless to go to sleep in his own bed or to eat, and I do NOT want to explain to the team that James fucked my brains out for two days straight because my heart is bursting.

He’s a good kisser. His lips are soft.

Intimate knowledge of that is now burned into my memory for future reference.

God, this is a dream come true. He doesn’t even question it, he just

It’s like I’m a goddess to him. He treats me like one, at least, and it’s like he’ll do anything I ask. And we act like it’s normal, too. Midnight trips to the kitchen included.

Best Christmas ever.

Dec. 28/20

Dear Jane,

I feel like I’m ignoring you but I’m also having the best sex of my life. He’s just… so fucking good and it’s a holiday and holy shit my mind is blown.

Love at first meeting isn’t real.

Well, maybe this one time, it was destiny.

Dec. 29/20

Dear Jane,

It isn’t just the sex, you know? It’s the pillowtalk, too. He just makes me laugh so much and everything is so easy between us and it feels real. Popcorn and chips in bed, some mojitos, just each other’s presence. It’s enough like that, you know?

Some quote about how the one you love should be both your lover and your best friend is in my head but I’m too lazy to look it up. James’ head is in my lap and he’s just reading while I’m writing and everything seems perfect.

He doesn’t ask what I’m writing because he knows it’s private and I trust him.

This is perfect.

I think I really am IN love with him.

Jan. 1/21

You know that cliché/tradition of New Year’s kisses?

WELL THEN.

Best (and worst) New Year’s ever. I’ll explain more later. I’m too tired and too angry and also sore and bruised.

See you when I’m not hungover.

Jan. 5/21

Dear Jane,

I’m finally stable enough to write.

In a crazy turn of events, Barnes and I got into a fight because of what happened after New Year’s Day’s events: I caught him leaving before I woke up and at first, curious questions ensued, and it wasn’t a fight but then it became one and I don’t even know how it happened. I wasn’t even mad. He just started being weird and I got annoyed and we tried and failed to keep our voices down. Luckily, my room is pretty soundproof.

Things just got out of hand and I feel like tearing my hair out. I wanna storm up to him and just yell some more.

Tony came into my room and didn’t say shit about my hickies and the fact that James is avoiding me like the plague. He gave me a really good hug, though and then gave me a few weeks off extra. I don’t know how he knows, but then again, it’s Tony.

He just said love’s tough sometimes.

Yeah, tell me about it.

I’m thinking about just taking a long vacation and disappearing. It seems like a good route to take at this point.

Jan. 6/21

Dear Jane,

James is looking at me right now as I write this. I wonder if I should look back or if he’s going to come up to me. We’ll see.

I’m only writing this so it seems like I’m busy. I’m running out of things to say, honestly. Can he just go? What’s the point in staring like that? What’s the point?

I could ask myself the same question. What’s the point in loving someone who’ll never love you? Yeah, he’s sleeping with me but he pulls away every time I try to do something more. Outside the bubble of my room and the small time frame of post-11PM to around 4:45AM, he acts like he’s allergic to intimacy.

It was never like that with ex-Girlfriend.

Maybe it’s something to do with me.

I don’t know, but he keeps looking and I want to get up and leave, but I won’t. I’m not gonna let him win.

Jan. 6/21

He didn’t. He just went out. Sam and Steve asked if I was okay because as soon as he left, I got up for the bathroom and screamed into a towel.

I don’t think either of them knows what’s going on, but they have a notion.

Jan. 9/21

Dear Jane,

He apologized. Still no explanation as to why, but it feels weird.

I told him I’m going on a vacation to Switzerland. Go skiing or something and asked if he wanted to come.

It was stupid to ask, but he said yes.

Shit.

Jan. 14/21

Dear Jane,

Switzerland is lovely.

No work is relaxing. Awkwardness between me and the other traveller on this vacation. Weather’s supposed to be nice when we get there. Sunny snow days, pretty mountains, other Swiss things.

No other comment.

Jan. 21/21

Dear Jane,

I lasted all of a week.

Yep, I slept with him again, and yes, he was back in his hotel bed come sunrise.

I dunno. I’m over it. We don’t apologize and hope everything gets back to normal because neither of us want to say anything to ruin it any further and we both have a major fear of the complicated. To be fair, he said he didn’t want to sleep with me if I was completely against it.

Also, I tried calling him Bucky at dinner like ex-Girlfriend (and everyone else) does and he made the most disgusted face.

He said, and I quote, “Bucky? When did I stop being James?”

I told him I was trying something out and he said it failed. Snarky bastard.

I guess if he’s still James, that must mean I’m still special.

That’s the Tony-inherited ego talking.

But it does make me exceptionally happy to play with the idea that I’m special to him. Best friend with convoluted benefits. Sounds like the title of a very long-winded self-help book that doesn’t really help much but that does sound like the story of my life so I can’t complain too much.

We’re going home in a few days.

I’ll probably sleep with him again. Bet Steve’s shield that I do.

Jan. 24/21

Dear Jane,

I get three Steve’s shields because I was right every single fucking day.

He’s like a habit I can’t quite kick and don’t really want to.

We snuggled afterwards last night. His arm was around my shoulders, we were naked, I was resting my head on his chest. For a moment, it felt like something couples do and then I fell asleep and woke up alone.

Quantum physics is easier to understand than this but I think we’re being mutually exclusive right now, so it’s almost dating.

I dunno. I don’t mind it anymore. It’s better than nothing.

Feb. 2/21

Dear Jane,

I’m absolutely miserable.

I’m still getting laid, but that’s not related. Correlation and causation or something.

Why is New York so dreary and when can everything just stop?

I don’t know. Winter is ending and now it’s in that awful transition phase between seasons and it’s mucky and rainy and disgusting. Tony got these limited edition ice cream flavours though so I’m gonna ask James if we can make milkshakes out of them or something.

He doesn’t like the muck either. That’s not really relevant, I guess.

Feb. 14/21

Dear Jane,

I got flowers and chocolate from the department because I think they can sense I’ve been in a bad mood since forever. Then, there was an anonymous delivery and inside was this gorgeous chain bracelet that matches the necklace sort of. I lied and told the department it was from Pepper.

What a wretched holiday.

Yours truly.

Feb. 18/21

Dear Jane,

Normally, when boys get their haircut, they look ugly for a day or two after.

Not James.

He got his hair cut shorter and he looks really good. Like unbelievably good. Short hair fits him just as much as long hair does.

No other observations.

Feb. 25/21

Dear Jane,

It was Morgan’s birthday party today. James came in one of those brown jackets with the sheepskin wool inside and he looked so good. We mainly stayed apart to prevent any dalliance because one does not disappear from the Madame Secretary’s birthday party and the team doesn’t really know what’s happening behind the scenes except for Nat and Tony, really.

I really wanted to kiss him in front of our friends. I caught him staring a few times, and every time, the smile seemed to vanish off his face.

I’m lying in bed and it feels pretty empty.

It occurs to me that I’ve been in love for a pretty long time and I’m not even in a relationship with the guy.

Energy could’ve been devoted to so many other things and I’d hate being in love if it weren’t for the fact that it’s James.

Again, love making me sappy and all that.

Feb. 28/21

Dear Jane,

Jane is such a common name. Some would call it plain yet it means gift from God.

I wonder if James knew that.

Mar. 10/21

Dear Jane,

It’s James’ birthday. Birthday sex is a requirement and a desire. I also got him a gift which is a pair of new black Timbs. I hope he likes them. I’m excited for cake, I guess. Morgan did my makeup but I’m gonna have to wipe it off for the small little party tonight.

I think, ordinarily, I’d be in knots because it’s James’ birthday and I love him and he’s my best friend, but I just don’t know. March is fairly boring and contemplative and rainy. Work is work. Helen Cho did a presentation on her Cradle technology. Very cool.

Mar. 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s raining and doesn’t feel like spring. Alpine vomited on my bed a few days ago because he’s not feeling well. James and I took him to the vet and he’s on antibiotics. Poor boy. He’s sleeping in the corner of my room right now while James is away on a mission. I think I’ll just work from my room for a bit until he’s feeling better.

Nothing much to report, which is why I didn’t write anything. The month passed by too quickly. James should be back by the end of the month. I miss him and not because of the sex. No one else who doesn’t work for me or pays me listens to me ramble on their own free will. Talking to screens just isn’t the same.

April 1/21

James got back really early this morning and I, by tradition, was awake. I sort of wish I wasn’t though. In true April Fool’s tradition, I made fun of him for being a day late to which he genuinely apologized. I told him to shower and get to sleep but he was in that mood where you’re so exhausted you’re wide awake.

James suggested we make really strong cocktails for each other as a celebration for an extraction mission completed successfully.

Who am I to say no to celebrating?

He really likes grapefruit juice so I made a REALLY strong Grapefruit Paloma. He made this really interesting drink that was purple and tasted like oranges and cranberries. A lot of blue curacao was in it so it was pretty bitter but it hit like a fucking truck which is probably why I didn’t understand anything he said at first.

He told me he loved me.

I think, somehow, he managed to get drunk after the Grapefruit Paloma and two more bottles of vodka. Don’t ask me how because Steve NEVER gets drunk. Maybe HYDRA-brand serum is faulty? I don’t know.

I asked if he knew what date it was. He laughed really loudly, said no, realized, stuttered apologies and then said it again.

It was the most perfect sound in the world and it was the best moment in recent history.

Or, the sickest practical joke.

Consensus not yet reached.

April 2/21

Dear Jane,

I asked if he remembered what happened yesterday morning.

He did not.

Sickest practical joke confirmed.

April 9/21

Dear Jane,

I’ve been avoiding writing because I’ve felt a whole lot of nothing. Everything is abysmal and James’ confession is all I can think about. Tony’s on my ass about slipping and he has half the mind to put me on paid leave until I get my shit together, both as the head of the department and as an agent.

Drunk words are sober thoughts, all that garbage.

I wish I could live my whole life drunk and honest. Maybe then I wouldn’t be in this situation where I’m stuck in eternal limbo with my best friend whom I’m in love with. Minus the drunk part.

Duty demands I return to this weathered journal until it’s finished so we’ll see. I might be back this month. Maybe not.

May 1/21

Dear Jane,

It rained a lot in April so now the flowers are blooming early. April showers bring May flowers. Guess it has some merit to it.

Limbo sucks. Its inescapable nature, its terrible facade of everything seeming fine when it really isn’t.

Of course, James still makes me smile, but nothing seems really okay when I let myself stop for a second.

I’m going out with Steve to a charity thing tomorrow. Should be a few hours worth of not thinking and free booze. Oh, and James and I made out in one of the quinjets after dinner today.

Felt weird considering we aren’t a couple, but it happened spontaneously as that is the nature of our relationship, it appears.

The cause also happens to be the cure of melancholy. Weird.

May 6/21

Dear Jane,

For context, it’s 5:23AM.

Went for a walk in Madison Square and then Central Park with James yesterday, although in my head it’s still today. We met up with Nat for some training at the gym. Got a bit mobbed by fans and the paps who asked if we were dating like we’re the tabloid’s biggest scoop.

We weren’t even holding hands, but I guess it’s just another reason why we shouldn’t be TOGETHER together in public.

We had another deep stuff talk again in bed after the usual business. I wanted to ask what this is between us and if he’s pursuing other options, because I’m not and I wanted to know if I should, but I also didn’t want to ruin the vibe.

He was in a good mood today, and seeing as sometimes he has nightmares, I thought it was best I don’t ruin it. He thinks I don’t notice but how do I not notice? He’s my best friend.

I kissed his cheek when he got up to leave and he kissed me goodbye on the lips.

I guess that means something.

May 17/21

Dear Jane,

In a moment of complete boredom, I listened to Imagine Dragons’ new album. It wasn’t too bad, to be honest, but Sharon thought it could’ve been better. Whatever.

May 22/21

Dear Jane,

Ran into ex-Girlfriend today. She still has that whole sunshine thing going on still. We had coffee and she asked if I got together with James yet.

I choked on my coffee and nearly died on the spot.

That’s how I learned that James apparently broke it off softly and ex-Girlfriend had, very wisely and knowingly, said that he should chase the apple of his eye before I (the apple) rotted alone and forgotten at the trunk of the tree. Or, as any sane person would say (and ex-Girlfriend DID say), get picked from the tree by another hand.

She said it was quite obvious that I was in love with James even months ago. She also thanked me for being so nice, anyway, and that it must’ve been difficult. What a fucking SAINT.

I set her up with a date with Steve because they have the same energy, honestly, and that’s going down on the 26th barring any emergencies.

Call me Cupid, but I think I just constructed the perfect match made in heaven.

Mentioned this meeting to James minus the apple detail. He asked if she was doing okay, which she was, and seemed glad for that. Between kisses and his sneaking hand beneath the covers, he also asked if there was anything else. Not really much to say on that front.

June 3/21

Dear Jane,

It’s starting to dry up consistently, now. It’s getting warmer, too. Sam brought me flowers and told me to at least turn the air-con on if I was gonna be stuck in the lab all day. Oh, the simplicities of summer are hopefully returning. Got out early and hung out with Morgan at the park in the evening.

It’s nice to hang out with someone so blissfully unaware with the stupidity of love. All Morgan cares about is grass and buttercups she grabs from the ground. She doesn’t have to worry about how to tell the guy she’s in love with that she loves him.

Oh, didn’t you hear? Nat said I should just buck the fuck up and tell him.

And Nat is scary when not listened to.

Much to brainstorm about.

June 14/21

Dear Jane,

Just here to brainstorm some ideas for future Stark Industries projects and thought I’d preface it with a small diary entry. Nothing really happened. Work’s catching up for some reason and bad guys are acting up. I’ve pulled a few all nighters, not gonna lie.

Really tired, but in a good, productive way. Haven’t thought much on the James front. Gonna have to focus on that after everything calms down.

June 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s officially summer and yet today was awful with only subtle hints of being okay.

So much for simplicity.

In the evening, I read on the hammock on the balcony. No one really bothered me except James, but he’s never a bother.

Steve and ex-Girlfriend (who will now be reidentified as Girlfriend) are pretty cute, and she meshes well with the group. There’s nothing really awkward between her, James, or me, so I guess two people’s summers are going well. Bully for them.

Didn’t really eat. Was too busy working. James got me dinner. Didn’t feel right and just kept working. This whole agreement between us has been very flexible but we really need to fit in a session soon.

I’ll make it work somehow.

June 22/21

Dear Jane,

I got my wish and didn’t at the same time. We spent the whole day in the sheets (very blissfully relaxing) and I, stupidly and with very little sleep, let it slip.

In less elegant terms, I told him I loved him. It felt very real and genuine and very-out-of-a-movie, but his reaction was less so.

What did I say? Allergic to intimacy.

He tried to play it off as best friends and even that was uncomfortable, but I, very seriously and very foolishly, corrected him that “no, James Buchanan Barnes, I am IN LOVE with you.”

He left a few minutes ago, saying something about heading down to the gym, but I know he’s just trying to avoid me.

God, how am I so stupid?

June 25/21

Dear Jane,

I haven’t seen James in a few days. I thought he was avoiding me but turns out he’s out of the country. Something about protection for whatever dignitary is travelling at the end of the month. I don’t know.

I wasn’t assigned to that op so the details weren’t shared liberally. Sam just said it’d be a while during the ambassador’s entire stay. High threat level which is why the Avengers were contracted.

I just hope he stays safe. I know he probably took off to take his mind off things, but I don’t know how he’s focusing when all I can think of is those three little words.

I love you.

Seems so fake the more I hear it in my head, but his reaction was so real that I think I might’ve just irreversibly messed things up.

July 12/21

Dear Jane,

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks. If future me finds this with blotted words, it’s because I am indeed crying while writing this.

James was medically evac’ed last night and transferred back to New York. Helen Cho was flown in from her medical conference in Minnesota where she was showcasing the newest version of the Cradle.

There was an assasination attempt and James is fucked up bad.

Holy shit, I’m so scared. I’ve never been so scared in my life. It’s like an invisible demon has my heart in his claw-like hands and he’s squeezing with all his might. I think my heart might explode.

I just want to hold his hand but he’s so high risk no one’s allowed to see him right now.

The waiting room is too quiet. Steve’s holding on to Girlfriend’s hand so hard I think her bones are broken but she’s taking it like a champ. Nat’s pacing, slowly patting a sleeping Morgan who she’s carrying. Sam and Tony are talking about stuff.

It’s too quiet.

I’m so scared.

July 13/21

They got him into the Cradle. Thank God. I think I might cry some more out of relief, but he was conscious for a few minutes earlier and he’s stable now.

It’s really late at night but they extended privileges to me to stay with him so I’m just sitting here, writing. Listening to the Cradle do its thing and the monitors do theirs.

When he was conscious, I was with him. He said some stuff under his breath but the one thing I could make out was “I’m an idiot.”

Granted, he’s right. It was supposed to be Steve or Tony on that mission. You know, people with more defense op experience, but he had to go out and volunteer himself.

I feel sort of guilty.

It’s partially my fault, isn’t it?

I think I’ll try to tuck in for tonight. I wanna be awake when he wakes up, too.

July 14/21

Dear Jane,

James woke up today. He’s still in the Cradle (lots of internal damage spread throughout the body) but he’s conscious. He saw me and immediately tried to sit up which was sweet, but when he couldn’t, he just told me to come closer and then told me that he loved me.

I called him an idiot for running away. I told him he really scared me. I told him that I loved him so fucking much. I told him that I feel so guilty and he just held my face and said that it will never be my fault.

He’s so fucking romantic, even when he’s lying down with a wound being stitched closed live in front of my eyes.

Oh, and he kissed me. I don’t think I noticed how much I actually missed him until that moment.

I don’t know how to describe the feeling in my chest. It’s a mixture between super happy and super scared and super, super warm inside. Summer might be looking up.

July 18/21

Dear Jane,

We got home today. James is staying in my room. The team doesn’t say anything about it. We’re best friends, after all, but I think they’ve known for a long time that there’s something more. Some of them are just too polite to say so.

I won’t have much time to write over the next couple of days. James has to be kept on a strict, extremely healthy diet and medicine regime.

I don’t care. I’m just glad he’s home.

He’s kissing me a lot more, now. Alpine likes the fact that his two humans are now in the same room. He purrs so loudly, I can hear him from where he’s dozing, curled up underneath James’ chin. He (James) is resting after his second round of antibiotics for the day while I work from my room, and sometimes I catch myself looking back just to make sure he’s okay.

I’m going to go kiss him now.

Be right back.

July 21/21

Dear Jane,

It’s almost Nat’s birthday (the 26th). Super exciting. James is back on solids and I’m helping him around with walking. Even with the Cradle and the healing factor, he’s still super banged up, so it’s better safe than sorry.

We had a really long talk about love and stuff. It’s good to finally have it out in the open. It was mostly me talking about my side of things and he just nodded a lot. I know he was listening though.

We also kissed a lot, like seventeen year old couples who are heavy on the PDA, but within the privacy of my room. I dunno. I like the heat of his arms and the way he kisses the shell of my ear when he’s bored or it’s a commercial break.

It feels very natural.

I am very much in love with him.

I tell him that and he always looks skeptical, but whatever. He doesn’t have to say it back (I tell him that there’s no pressure) and he’ll get it through his thick skull eventually that he’s now stuck with me.

July 25/21

Dear Jane,

We made cookies in the early AM as tradition for the party tomorrow and I told him that I love him (again, but this time he didn’t run, nor has he the past few times. Fantastic).

While the cookies were baking, he explained everything on his side of the story: how he was scared to be vulnerable, how opening up to me is just different and new and scary and I get it. I really do. I know how it feels to think you don’t deserve good things and sabotage feels like the only way to save everyone from hurt.

He smiled a lot more after that. I guess he’s just glad I get it.

One day, I’ll successfully convince James that he deserves everything good this world has to offer.

Until then, I’ll just keep trying.

P.S. He said, with less hesitation than the first time, that he loves me, too. Best. Day. Ever.

P.P.S. The cookies are so good and I want to devour them all. I could barely stop James from eating all of them. Again: Best. Day. Ever.

July 26/21

Dear Jane,

In summary of today:

Happy birthday, Natasha.

James has been given the clear bill of health which is exciting. Also, I asked him about the Jane and gift of God thing.

He knew. “Intuition” and all that. He also said I looked “like a royal dame” in my swimsuit. Smug idiot just trying to be charming.

I love him and that’s the only reason it works.

Back to the festivities.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

Good morning to you and to James who’s still in my bed at a ripe 6:23AM, fast asleep.

Progress. Now, back to sleep.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

It’s now 9:49AM and James greeted me with orange juice and waffles. He said I was cute when I slept. Creep.

He also said he tried so many times to stay in my bed after, before we were like we are now, but he never could, and now he’s upset that he missed out on my cute sleeping/waking up for the day face every time he did so.

He is exceptionally cute when he’s pouting.

I think we’re officially boyfriend-girlfriend, but we’ll work out the semantics on that later. For now, it’s another summer day together. He suggested Chinese takeout for dinner because I have to go dip back into the lab later today to check on some samples.

I agreed and he kissed me in promise like it was our “thing.” I can’t stop smiling like an idiot.

Massive progress.

July 28/21

Dear Jane,

He told me I was the only one for him.

Also, he kissed me in front of our friends for the first time. Natasha yelled “FINALLY” and pushed us into the pool. Sam laughed and then I grabbed him and threw him into the pool. Ensuing: a water fight for the ages.

For a day: 10/10

July 31/21

Hey Jane,

I think I’m happy.

I’m sorry I ever doubted the effects of writing down my feelings.

James has a romantic trip to uptown planned for our first date and he said it’ll take the whole day so I thought I’d get this entry in the morning. I dunno. It’s really early and the happy thought was the first thing that came to my head.

Weird, but it’s a good weird.

See you in a bit.

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etherealluminescence · 4 years

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The boys, GN!MC, and the cat

Based off my previous post, about MC and their very buff and not-so-catlike-cat. I’ve been reading fushigi neko and creepy cat so if that gives you a rough idea!

Scenario - WARNING LONG

MC is new to the demon world and they have a pet cat. MC introduces the cat to the boys and it suddenly goes on two legs and flexes it’s very buff arms? How do the boys react to this bizarre scene, and how are they with the cat in general?

Lucifer

When he sees the cat jump out of your bag, he first thinks oh, great, a pet to take care of, but then he thinks what the fuck.

Did your cat just get up on two legs, and grow muscles, and a six pack? And one second, did you just say you weren’t afraid because this was your protector?

He’s one of the first to recover from the initial shock. He thinks your cat is cursed or magical or something at first, but you keep denying that, saying this is just how cats are.

He has a poker face with the cat and tries to generally avoid it, until some demon who was picking on you got thrown into a wall by your cat. He has to deal with the aftermath, and your cat just looks at him with a poker face and it’s beady eyes and meows.

He is now seriously concerned what is wrong with your cat to be able to demolish a demon. He tries to bring up that this cat is far from normal again, but you keep insisting that your cat is average, and that most cats can do this.

You bring this cat to his office one afternoon and ask him to cat sit, since you’ll be going out for a bit, and everyone else is busy. He tries to say no, but your cat covers his mouth with a paw and you leave.

He’s staring at your cat for a long time, unable to focus on his work because your cat is organising his desk and pouring itself a cup of tea.

He actually becomes fine with your cat after it plays some classic music and quietly reads a favourite book of Lucifer’s in a corner. He forgets your cat is an actual cat for a bit.

But the more you leave your cat in the care of Lucifer, the more he’s just like alright, this cat isn’t so bad. He’s still more of a dog person.

Mammon

He’s just freaked out PERIOD. He will never let himself be alone with this cat.

He avoids it like the plague, won’t go near it. Wont let you leave him alone with it.

He just is so intimidated. Especially since the cat is working out?? Baking?? Reading?? Doing your homework? He does not approach.

Leviathan

This is just like I picked up a stray cat but they ended up being a super strong alien who vowed to protect me in exchange for saving them while they were suffering!!

Levi is actually pretty fine with it, you may think he freaks out or something, but he does like cats, and he has raised giant animals and weird ones himself.

He teaches your cat how to play video games, and has him as his main player two. He wants your cat to learn about TSL, and tells him the whole lore, your cat just sits there in Levi’s room nodding and occasionally meowing.

Your cat ending up sewing an idol outfit for themselves to wear when him and Levi watch idol videos together.

Levi is really happy to have someone to listen to him, and better yet, it’s not a physical person so he’s not as nervous, he probably spends more time with your cat than you do at this point.

Satan

KITT- oh. alright. Can he uh,, pet it?

He’s just really confused because you’re calling it a cat, it has the face of a cat, ears, whiskers, and a tail, but?? Its on two feet and majorly buff.

He still wants to pet it, he knows human cats aren’t all like that, and wants to know what is up. You insist that it’s normal, but he ends up getting you to tell him the life story of your cat.

You tell him while you’re in his room with your cat, when your cat goes unbuff and starts purring, feeling that you’re safe.

Satan immediately is like,,, can I pet,, I wanna,,, so cute,,, kitty. Aaaaaaaaaa, internal freak out. So it can be insanely fluffy and cute.

Satan gets along so well with your cat, they drink coffee together in the morning, your cat knocks on his door and asks (meows) to borrow a book from him, and sits on his lap as Satan pets him.

Asmodeus

Excuse me MC what the FUCK is that. Is he seeing what everyone else is seeing?

He is VERY wary of this abomination and refuses to be near it. It really saddens you because you want them to get along.

One night he’s freaking out because he has a pimple, so your cat comes to the rescue with an SOS beauty package.

You mention it’s the same routine your cat puts on you, with the cream and the products. Asmo freaked out at first, but calmed down a bit since he really wanted the pimple gone.

The next day it is completely clear and his skin is RADIANT. He nervously approached you to ask for the products but you tell him to talk to your cat, since you only do as he says, you don’t actually know the stuff.

He ends up asking your cat, begrudgingly, and turns out your cat can go unbuff, and was happy to help.

10/10 Asmo loves your cat now. He’s so squishy and fluffy, doesn’t shed fur, and even knows about beauty routines. Your cat is now his bff.

Beelzebub

It takes him a second but he just thinks human cats are like that.

After watching everyone freak out he realises human cats aren’t like that. But you’re insisting it’s completely normal.

He believes you and your cat, so he’s rather okay with it. He’s more of a dog person but your cat is really chill.

Your cat has dinner duty one night and allowed Beel to taste test the food, and even showed Beel his secret recipes.

Beel is instantly very fond of your cat, and then your cat joins him for work outs. He mentions working out later in front of you and your cat meows and you mention he wants to join in.

Your cat and Beel are now bench pressing a few hundred together every other day. Completely forgets that not all cats are like your’s.

Belphegor

The first time they met your cat came out of the window and punched him in the face.

Belphie tried to kill you and your cat found out, and was ready to kick his ass. You had to deescalate it because your cat broke out of Beel’s grip and was ready to punch Belphie again.

Belphie was annoyed when someone punched him and then saw your fucking cat. He has decided to shut the fuck up.

Belphie is intimidated. That thing is NOT normal, so why is everyone acting like it’s an everyday thing??

It takes awhile to calm your cat down. Belphie has to apologise to both your cat and you. Sincerely.

Your cat takes your hand and walks you away from Belphie. Belphie does not want to live with it but has no choice.

Is VERY scared when you suddenly leave your cat alone with him for a little bit. Your cat stays in incredibly buff form and sits across the room staring holes into Belphie while Belphie is trying to sleep.

He will never be comfortable near your cat, and your cat is constantly in buff form around him. He is NOT a fan of mr kitty.

Diavolo

Excuse me what. He stares for a second and laughs and says what a cool cat. He’s slightly concerned though, because he feels genuinely no magical energy from the cat,, so what is up with it?

He listens to you say you just found him on the side of the road and have been raising him since. That’s very nice of you, but are you not a little concerned?

To be fair, if he met a muscular cat like your’s on the side of the road, he too, would pet it or raise it.

Is pleasantly surprised when he watches your cat help students in RAD, holding open doors, carrying textbooks, and he even waters the flowers in the front of the school.

Very delighted when you leave your cat in Barb’s care for awhile, because he gets to watch your cat from up close, and even gets to eat some of the famous cookies it bakes.

He ends up really fond of your cat, inviting your cat to dinners and asking your cat opinions on minor things. You have a proud parent moment watching the two of them interact.

Barbatos

Your cat is incredibly buff and has a six pack,, right... The stoic butler has a poker face, but he has a brain freeze for a few seconds. He’s the quickest to come back to his senses.

He has never seen anything like this before, and thinks someone must have put a spell on this cat or something, but hears you say it’s normal.

He knows human cats can’t be like that, right? What do you mean you just found him on the side of the road and he just acted like this?? Shouldn’t you have some sense of concern?

He starts to notice that your cat is quite similar to him. Your cat cooks, bakes, and even takes care of you. Just like how he takes care of Diavolo. Apart of him hates that but another part of his respects that your cat cares for you.

When you go on a trip with the brothers you leave your cat in his care, saying you’ll be gone for a week, and that you’ll call him every night.

Well, he didn’t really have to take care of the cat. The cat kept out of his arms after the two arrived in the kitchen. Barbatos was finishing off his baking, and the cat was helping him clean the kitchen equipment.

The cat ended up helping him frost the cake, while wearing a small apron from his care package, and set it aside to cool off.

Barbatos ends up being really fine with the cat, since your cat is really well mannered and helpful. It’s a little freaky at first, but it’s no big deal.

Solomon

Ah yes, and incredibly buff cat. That seems.. abnormal. Interesting, especially since there’s no magical power coming from it.

He wants to figure out what’s wrong with it, so he invites you to purgatory hall under the guise of some humans enjoying themselves and eating cookies.

You arrived with an apron and your cat got his apron on. You said your cat wants to bake the cookies together, so you brought the ingredients rather than cookies themselves.

Since he’s such a great baker, he guesses questioning your cat can wait for later. Is actually really amused to see how great of a baker your cat is.

At the end of the day, he ends up taking cooking and baking lessons from your cat, and your cat is encouraging him to do his best at cooking.

He gets along super well with your cat at the end of it. Is delighted to spend time with Satan and you reading books wnd talking about cats with your cat.

Simeon

Haha cat go buff. Simeon 100% has accidental chaotic energy. He is taken aback but then is fine.

Finds your cat to be pretty cute, and is smiling from how your cat wants to protect you and how you cat sees you as a precious child to protect.

Is 100% delighted to have your cat come to purgatory hall one day with a basket of baked goods, and let’s him in.

He doesn’t understand cat talk so your cat writes down a letter saying he baked some cookies and came for a visit, just wanting to know more about them.

Simeon shares his celestial realm stories and Lucifer stories, and your cat becomes a great tea time friend of his, your cat sharing stories of you.

Luke

Is very freaked out and is nearly like Mammon until your cat stops being buff.

He is fine if your cat isn’t buff, but gets intimidated if he’s buff.

You get asked by Luke to bake some cookies with him at Purgatory Halls, so you bring your cat and he’s wearing a small apron.

Luke things it’s really cute and is awing until your cat gets up and starts baking as well. Don’t worry, your cat has gloves.

He’s watching your cat who uses expert techniques to do it quickly yet efficiently. Maybe your cat isn’t that bad.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me hc #obey me headcanon #buff cat

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elisabeth515 · 4 years

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(Some) Greek Gods as Historical Figures

So some days ago I secretly logged back into Mythology and Cultures amino and I stumbled across post of casting historical figures as the gods from Greek mythology. Of course, I hated it, so I made my version of this.

Note: Of course, this is going to have quite a lot of Napoleonic figures, since I am more familiar of this period, but please do reblog this post (or tag me on another post) with the hashtag “#mythical figures as historical people” and add some more of your historical figure Greek God fancasts!

Note 2: this post is for entertaining purpose, and just me introducing some guys to y’all and I am not a historian myself and hopefully you all would still like my takes😅

1. Zeus - Louis XIV of France

First and foremost, I shall introduce the king of gods featured in Greco-Roman myths. You may ask, why don’t I cast Henry VIII of England? Well, my reason is very simple: Henry is far from accurate to Zeus in actual myths.

To be honest, Zeus has a more “absolute power” energy in it, and Louis XIV totally has rocked it (like that iconic line “l’état, c’est moi (I am the state)”). Well, Henry also has that kind of energy but everyone only remembers his six wives and the uncountable number of bloodshed (not to mention Catherine of Aragon is a much better fighter than him—got this from Horrible Histories OwO)... Anyways, Louis XVI is basically a Zeus.

2. Hera - Catherine of Aragon

This brings to Catherine of Aragon herself. She’s a total Q U E E N and if you have watched “Six” the musical you already got what I mean (like, being the wife who married to Henry the longest). There’s also the early warlike aspect in Hera (featured in Homer’s works) that Catherine has it as well (at least you know that she’s getting more victories than Henry if you have watched Horrible Histories season 6, in the episode with Rowan Atkinson playing Henry VIII (which is sad because I want Ben Willbond to play him—he iconic to the HH fandom)), making her a great casting of Hera.

Hera, in my opinion, is a very strong woman who has to take Zeus’s shit and I could totally understand why she took revenge on the girls that Zeus has slept with—but anyways, hopefully you guys would like it :3

3. Aphrodite - Pauline Bonaparte

This is half-self-explanatory, really—just look at that statue she posed as Venus, the Roman equivalent of Aphrodite.

Pauline was famed for her beauty in her time, also a big chunk of scandals from her affairs (which bugs her big brother Napoleon, a lot). Nevertheless, despite her big spending habits and a great sexual appetite, she always helped Napoleon in some surprising ways (like she sold her house in Paris to the Duke of Wellington to get the funds for Napoleon).

Just like Aphrodite herself, Pauline harnessed her beauty very well. Thus, I rest my case.

4. Apollo - Joachim Murat or Emperor Franz Joseph I of Austria

(Warning: long content ahead)

Firstly, let me briefly introduce them because you guys might not know them much.

Joachim Murat was a marshal of France, also one of Napoleon’s brother-in-law, grand duke of Berg and Cleves from 1806 to 1808 and the King of Naples from 1808 to 1815. After the wars, he attempted to escape yet was caught and executed in 1815 in Pizzo, Italy (if you have read of Alexandre Dumas’s “Famous Crimes” you might know him—by the way no one has cut his head off and sent it to that big nose King Ferdinand).

For those who have watched “Elisabeth” or the “Sissi” movies, you might know Franz Joseph I of Austria already but you might not know much about himself besides being the husband of the (in)famous Empress Sisi (ie. Empress Elisabeth of Austria). He was the Emperor of the Austria from 1848 to his death in 1916—one of the longest reigning European monarchs in history. During his reign, the empire had been through a lot of change, most notably, the creation of Austria-Hungary. Nevertheless, he was also the Emperor who started World War I and he died of old age in the midst of the Great War.

For Apollo, I’m not casting musicians because this is quite overdone. I rather want to shed a light to the other arts that he represented in Greco-Roman mythology. This makes me want to draw a parallel to Joachim Murat as he was also a great sucker of classical literature. Plus, he also was known to be a flamboyant dresser (his nickname was “the Dandy King” by the way), also the designer of the uniforms of the Neapolitan army (with an excessive amount of amaranth, perhaps his favourite colour). Really, everyone just sees him as a great flamboyant himbo but in reality, he’s iconically badass in the battlefield as the First Horseman of Europe. Well, also he’s known for being extremely good with women even though his wife Caroline was fierce as hell. So, in my opinion, he fits the image of Apollo that we know.

However, you guys might feel surprised why I picked Franz Joseph for Apollo. Well, he really... was a rather mediocre ruler in my opinion, and perhaps our most memorable image of him was the senile emperor who signed the declaration of war to Serbia. Nevertheless, he was a well-liked man among his subjects, at least to some old citizens of Austria-Hungary telling future generations. Besides, culture flourished in Vienna under his reign—with notable figures like Sigmund Freud, Ludwig Wittgenstein and Erwin Schrödinger. Despite the series of unfortunate events which made the empire started to crumble, Austria-Hungary arguably has its cultural importance in Europe. Sounds like what Apollo would do if he’s a ruler, somehow.

Well, enough of his political achievements, let’s talk about his private life... which was probably the actual reason why I picked him.

Enter Duchess Elisabeth in Bavaria, the Empress of Austria and Queen of Hungary, also known as Sisi.

On a side note, Marshal Louis-Alexandre Berthier of France, Prince of Neufchâtel and of Wargram, was Empress Sisi’s grand-uncle in-law via his marriage to Duchess Maria Elisabeth in Bavaria

Absolutely love Pia as Elisabeth in the musical so please don’t mind me using a gif from this :3 ((also, “Elisabeth” spoiler alert

Franz originally was to marry her sister Helene (nicknamed Néné), nevertheless, on the first meeting in Bad Ishl, he has fallen for the young Elisabeth, head over heels—making him defying his domineering mother, Archduchess Sophie, for the very first time. Elisabeth also liked him and did not expressed her refusal either, so they got married in St. Augustine’s Church in 29th April, 1854.

However, the marriage was not well. Sisi was not accustomed to the strict Austrian court especially Archduchess Sophie (also she was not really a fan of intimacy). Poor Franz was rather helpless in situations between his mother and his wife, and eventually, Sisi chose her freedom over her duty as Empress, traveling around the world. They two briefly went back together during the Austro-Hungarian compromise, yet she was constantly not there. Eventually, Sisi was assassinated by an anarchist named Luigi Lucheni during her stay in Geneva, Switzerland, and Franz was devastated over her death (“she will never know how much I love her”).

To Franz, he loved her so, but he really didn’t understand her needs. Even though he had countless mistresses and female companions in Vienna, he still missed his wife. I say, he was really unlucky when it comes to love. Like Apollo himself, he dated countless nymphs and humans, but a lot of his notable relationships did not have a good end. (Probably Cyrene was the most lucky one, yet she also has chosen to be left alone after mothering several children with Apollo.) For this, I picked Franz Joseph as Apollo.

5. Ares - Jean Lannes or Michel Ney

As usual, for those who don’t know much history, I shall briefly introduce my babeys these two great soldiers.

Jean Lannes was one of the marshals of Napoleon, known for being one of Napoleon’s closest friends and his fiery personality, and is considered one of the best marshals of the 1st French Empire. His finest moments including the Battle of Ratisbon in which he led his men to storm the well-guarded city with ladders (hence his nickname “ladder lord” in our very humble Napoleonic marshalate fandom :3). Sadly, he died of the wound he received in the battle of Aspern-Essling in 1809.

Michel Ney was also one of the marshals of Napoleon, known for his extreme valour (yep, he is known as the “Bravest of the Brave”). As you might know, he was one of the marshals who was in Waterloo, yet, his finest hour was during the retreat from Russia in the disasterous 1812. Sadly, he was arguably the most prominent victim of the White Terror under the second Bourbon restoration, executed in 1815 (**I am not accepting any kind of conspiracy theories of my babey survived and died in America😤).

Speaking of Ares, I have a lot of things to say (that’s my dad ;-; no jkjk). He is really not that bloodthirsty idiot who casually hates humans. Well, he’s more like a fiery dork and a man who was very faithful to his lovers, and fights very well (by the way also one of the best dads). So, the bois that come into my mind are automatically two of the most courageous marshals of France.

Lannes, if I have to get him a godly parent, it would definitely Ares. He resembled the god a lot (also I sometimes imagined Ares as a smol bean with dark hair), probably looks the most like Ares himself. He got that fiery temper, that faithfulness to his wife Louise, also being a very courageous fighter in the field—well he literally was like, “NO LEMME STORM DAT CITY *grabs ladder*”.

There you have it, my big bro our ladder lord Jean Lannes who can pull off a perfect Ares.

Ney is like a slightly introverted (and mature) version of an Ares person. You can guess his temper already through his famed auburn hair, and indeed despite his shy exterior his temper sometimes was a bit explosive, and a bit impatient (which was somehow one of his fatal flaws). He was a great fighter, known as a skilled swordsman in his youth. And you all know how brave he is in his famed epithet. Michel Ney is purely badass (and C U T E) you know (and he needs a lot of hugs because he has really been though a lot in the wars, and was a possible case of PTSD which was shown in his arguably suicidal behaviour during the battle of Waterloo). That’s why I casted him as the Greek god Ares OwO

And there you have it, my interpretations on the Greek gods via people in history. I originally would like to include more but somehow I realised that I have written too much about my picks. So, if you want to add more, reblog this post or tag me on the post you made on this topic (and please use the hashtag “mythical figures as historical people” so that I could look into your choices via the search bubble on this app🥺).

Last but not the least, I hope you all lovelies like this, also have learnt something new via my brief introductions on some historical people. Have a great day!

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sighjeongguk · 4 years

Text

↳ request!

↳ jeongguk x reader

↳ words: 1540

↳ brief summary: you and jungkook have been skirting the lines between friends and lovers for a while now. it’s time to pick a side.

He’s looking at you again; that soft, wide-eyed gaze trained on the side of your face, tracing your features with a small, imperceptible smile. You try not to let it affect your game, your own eyes glued to the TV with such a burning intensity that you’re almost certain you’ll set the thing ablaze. Even so, you feel your cheeks heat up, and you think of excuses to use if someone should ask, if Taehyung—your best friend and current rival—were to turn his head to the side and notice, or if Jimin were to look up from his phone long enough to ask, or if god forbid Jungkook were to decide to tease you about the red flush of your cheeks.

You think: ‘It’s the game,’ ‘It’s a little warm in here,’ ‘Jimin’s really cute today.’ You think up a million excuses in the split second it takes for Taehyung to button smash himself to a powered attack. He never knows what he’s doing, but he almost always wins. You hate him, and have done for the better half of your life.

“I swear to god, Kim,” you mutter, trying to block the onslaught of attacks he sends your way, preventing you from addressing the damage he’s already done to your character, “I will tap out with beef boy.” You nod sideways at Jungkook, who laughs and finally turns his eyes back to the screen.

“I thought I told you to stop calling me that,” Jungkook says, but he holds his hand out for the remote when Taehyung sends your character crashing against a wall for the third time in a row. You hand it to him with no hesitation, no words, and sit back to watch the revival of your poor, battered character. It’s her redemption arc, you think, watching as Taehyung’s character gets roundhouse kicked in the face.

“Never,” you say, sounding far more gleeful than you should. You look sideways at him and grin. “You’re my saviour, Beef Boy. Luna deserves better than me.”

“You’re just bad at combat games,” he murmurs, and you let out a laugh as Taehyung’s health bar dips lower than yours.

“Aren’t I lucky to have a friend like you who’s good at everything?” You smile sweetly at him. He returns it just as Taehyung drops his controller onto the coffee table, his character dead on-screen.

“I regret introducing you,” Taehyung, who has been by your side since you were five, groans. “I didn’t think you’d both turn on me like that.”

You turn your grin to Taehyung, who narrows his eyes at you. “You love me,” you tell him matter-of-factly, resting your head against his shoulder for a brief second before you turn back to Jungkook. “You’re my favourite right now, though.”

“Only right now?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow, his lips lifting into a knowing smile. A smile you’ve seen so many times before, when he’s trying to fluster you, when youre conversation skirts the territory of something only the two of you know about.

The two of you and Jimin, because he’d been on the receiving end of your lovesick rants one too many times. And maybe Yoongi, because he seems to know everything. Taehyung, too. He knows you better than anyone, and can pick up the signs of a crush the second you start showing them. Jin, too, because he’s weirdly attuned to those sorts of things. Namjoon’s probably been on the receiving end of Jungkook’s lovesick rantings. And you know it doesn’t take long for someone to spill their secrets to Hoseok.

Okay, maybe everyone knows. You’ll have to work on your oversharing later. Maybe, probably not.

“It depends on later,” you say, “If you protect me well enough tonight, I might make your position more permanent.”

Jimin snorts from his place across the room, but doesn’t look up from his phone. He’s watching fan edits, again. He’s been obsessed with them since you showed him on you liked the other day. “I can’t believe you two are going to watch a horror movie,” he says, shaking his head in disappointment. “Talk about a romantic date.”

“Worry about your own dates,” Jungkook huffs, throwing a pillow at Jimin’s head. That makes him look up, quickly raising his head to glare at the perpetrator. “If me and Y/N want to watch a horror movie, then we’re going to watch a horror movie. Maybe we’ll watch two.”

“Which we might,” you hum, tilting to your head contemplatively. “Who knows? The possibilities are endless when you’re Jeon Jungkook.” You pat the arm of the boy sitting next to you. “You guys are just jealous that I’m spending time with him instead of you.”

Because hanging out with girls are hard when you’re as famous as they are. Because someone will always say something, and it’s hard enough for you to be friends with them. But Taehyung has been your friend since you were five, and you fought tooth and nail to stand by his side through his rise to fame. The fans are familiar with you, now, know you as Taehyung’s best friend and know better than to start dating rumours between you. On the rare occasion that a rumour like that does pop up somewhere, those fans—the good ones, who don’t claim ownership over idols like they’re some sort of objects—will do everything in their power to make sure they’re quelled. They know you’ll never date Taehyung.

You’ll never date Taehyung, because you’re more interested in the man at your side. Because at sixteen, you got off the train at Seoul, wide-eyed and a little terrified, to meet your best friend of eleven years. He’d gotten taller since you’d last seen him. Thinner, too, and you’d worried he’d been wearing himself thin chasing his dream. He’d introduced you to six boys that he’d later take on the world with. When you met Jungkook, you didn’t think you’d get here. Back then, he was homesick and shy, avoiding your gaze and unable to speak to you without stuttering. You wonder if a part of you knew, back then, that your whole world would fall into place with these seven boys at your side.

You let your head fall against Jungkook’s shoulder with a sigh, a soft smile tugging at the corners of your lips, and you know that as long as you have him—have them, you can take on the world.

Hours later, long after the sun has dipped beyond the horizon and the city has started to fall asleep, the words, “You’re crazy,” leave your mouth. You’re looking at Jungkook, and he’s looking right back at you, and you think maybe you’re crazy, too.

Jungkook laughs, and to you it’s as melodious as every time he sings. He lifts a hand to your face, and you tilt into his touch despite yourself. “You’re right,” he says, softly, quietly, as if speaking any louder might ruin this moment. You want it to last forever and think maybe he does, too. “But Y/N, I really want to be with you. Sane or not, that isn’t going to change. I like you.”

You’ve known for a while. Of course you have. You and him have been skirting this invisible line for months, maybe longer. Not quite lovers but definitely more than friends. Your head on his shoulder, or on his thigh as you sleep. His hand on your knee or intertwined with yours. Your smiles, those secret ones reserved just for him. Everything has been leading up to this moment. But still, you can’t help but worry. Can’t help but wonder.

“What do you like about me?” You ask, searching his gaze for any sign that this could be. Jungkook lets out a huff of air, still smiling.

“Anything and everything,” he says, touching his forehead against yours. You think maybe there are stars trapped in his eyes, because you can’t explain the way they shine. “Your laugh, and the way you mumble to yourself as you’re falling asleep. How you always make sure we’ve eaten. How you hold Taehyung’s hand when he’s sad and how you bring Namjoon hot chocolate when he’s stressed. I like how you sing so loudly with Taehyung, how you always stop if someone else is around. I like how you sing. I think it might be my favourite sound.”

“Do you like my singing better than IU’s?” You ask, and you can feel the smile burning your cheeks.

Jungkook laughs. “Maybe not that much,” he says, pulling away so you can see each other better, “But it’s a close contender.”

“I understand,” you say, “She’s definitely in my Top 10 Best Voices list. Number 8, for sure. Your guess on who the first seven are.” You smile. “Don’t you want to know what I like about you?”

He shakes his head. “I want to know if you’ll be my girlfriend.”

“Of course I will.”

When he leans forward again, you meet him in the middle. For now, you don’t have to worry about fans or rumours. For now, all you have to worry about is how Taehyung’s going to react knowing Jungkook has just gotten in the way of your marriage pact.

#imagine: jungkook #imagine: jeongguk #imagine: bts #bts imagines #bts drabbles #requests #jeon jungkook #jeon jeongguk #jjk #jungkook #jeongguk #imagines #drabbles

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grishaversecommunityyy · 3 years

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The Grishaverse Ship Survey Results

So! After all of that, we finally have the results! What is the general opinion on the ships in the Grishaverse? Well, that’s for you to read below! It’s actually pretty interesting and, while some parts make sense, there were definitely some parts which... surprised me... Anyway, onto the results!

Everything in this post can be split into:

The Grisha Trilogy

Six Of Crows Duology

The Nikolai Series

Shadow and Bone: TV Series

Most Enjoyed Ships

Least Enjoyed Ships

Crack Ships and Shipping Discourse

Notes from the Survey

(note from mod emily: i tried to bold all of fritz’ comments, but i might have missed a few! be aware there are two of us analysing here :))

The Grisha Trilogy

The first book series we asked about was, of course, the first chronologically: the Grisha Trilogy. The most popular ship, with 83% voters for this series selecting this, was Genya/David (Fritz was glad to hear that; Yes I am). This is likely due to the lack of alternate romantic interests in the series, which seems to be a major issue for Alina’s ships. It also seems to be one genuinely enjoyed by most fans, in contrast to Darkling/Alina and Mal/Alina (each around 30%) and Nikolai/Alina (just under 20%), for which I have definitely seen plenty of debate. The second and third most popular ships for this series were Tamar/Nadia (55%) and Nikolai/Zoya (47%). Interestingly, Genya/Alina (43%) and Zoya/Alina (30%) ranked surprisingly high, especially considering how few of my friends and associates I hear talking about them. Good for them!

Honourable mentions:

Alina/Sun (no doubt inspired by that crack fic I wrote a while back) (Still havent read that out of fear)

Alina alone (a common concept among those surveyed, though most mentioned it later)

Zoya/Genya or Alina/Zoya/Genya

Six Of Crows Duology

This series was a little less divided, I would say. Predictably, Kaz/Inej came out on top with a whopping 96% of voters (:relieved:), with Wylan/Jesper next (90%) and Nina/Matthias just after (83%). None of the others really came close, despite Nina/Inej gathering 35% of the votes and Colm/Aditi at 25% (yeah, I’m not sure why that was so popular on AO3 either, but nobody really has objections so I assume that’s why it amassed so many votes). As Six of Crows is decidedly less divisive about ships and doesn’t have such controversial ships (more on that later), it seems the fandom agrees with canon pairings and the votes are... pretty unanimous.

Honourable Mentions:

Jesper/Wylan/Kuwei

Polycrows (platonic or romantic)

Kaz/Inej/Nina

Whoever didn’t read the instruction about this being for only the book series and put Jesper/Milo. I will never escape.

The Nikolai Series

This one is a little harder for me because I actually haven’t read this... so over to Fritz for analysis! But first, the stats. At 85%, the most popular ship is Genya/David, followed by Zoya/Nikolai at 77%. Tamar/Nadia and Nina/Hanne draw at 61.5% and Nina/Matthias has 56% voters onboard. There’s no real honourable mentions for this one, sadly. Hello Fritz here! Read the books and very glad to see Genya/David as the top ship as it damn well should. Although still a bit surprising since its more of a side-arc of the two and only ties in with the importance of the story at a specific chapter that I feel like I don’t need to elaborate about, if you read Rule of Wolves. (I believe the popularity of the ship also sky-rocketed due to ROW) Following of course Zoya/Nikolai, the high ranking makes sense, it is the main ship and lets be honest they deserve it <3

I think the only really surprising thing about this is the high votes for Nina/Matthias since [SPOILERS CROOKED KINGDOM] he’s dead so I feel like people should move on from that. Nina/“Hanne” having not as high a ranking as I would’ve thought, but with Matthias still being in the frame I guess we shouldn’t be surprised either.

Shadow and Bone: TV Series

This one is really interesting, with the exclusive show watchers now taking part! We have 89% voting for Kaz/Inej, 76% for David/Genya, 71% for Matthias/Nina, 67% for Ivan/Fedyor (that’s a thing???-->Yeah they had a few somewhat sweet interactions in the background-->nvm i watched it you’re right fritz) and 62% for Mal/Alina. What’s really surprising is how high Malina is compared to Darklina, with Darkling/Alina at 36%. Who knows, maybe Fritz’ analysis can shed some light on this?

Yes yes Fritz to the rescue: First of all we have to see their interactions a little different from what we already knew of them by the end of episode 8. I still think it is a surprising number, since the Darkling in the show isn’t as nasty as he was in the books BUT over all his actions are now seen on TV. We all thought the deer antlers were a necklace amirite? Well no apparently not, the darkling used the worst kind of small science to fit Alinas collarbone to the bone and out comes a gruesome sight: a reason why many people might have started thinking: Wow what a disgusting person he is. And on the Malina “ship”: Mal finally has personality!! jkjk :eyes: Mals and Alinas friendship has been portrayed way better in the show and I believe that the people noticed more chemistry between them especially by the end of season 1. So I’m still a little surprised Darklina has such a low ranking (what with him being all sweet and cuddly in the middle of the show) but it makes sense and the Malina ship as well. Their vibes are just *chefs kiss* and thats coming from someone who didnt even like any of these “ships” <3

Loving the quotation marks for the word ‘ships’, Fritz. Over to the honourable mentions!

Honourable Mentions:

Jesper and Milo (isn’t milo a goat? guys, why?)

Nadia/Marie (huh that didn’t appear anywhere else)

One person had several - Kaz/Inej/Jesper, Dubrov/Mikhael, Dubrov/Mikhael/Mal - and yeah, you can really see the show differences in these mentions right? (whose dubrov...and whose mikhael...)

16% actually voted for Inej/Alina which is wild to me because of book context (they did have chemistry in the show tho :cowboi_smirk:)

Another person with several! We have Nina/Inej, Genya/Alina, Zoya/Alina, Zoya/Genya/Alina. Very sapphic. Good for you.

Kaz/Jesper and Nina/Inej all in one

That’s a lot of honour and mentions but it’s so interesting to me and I think you should see too

Most Enjoyed Ships

The most enjoyed ship was Kaz/Inej. This had unparalleled support, being at 35%. Jesper/Wylan, which was next on the list (23.5%) and Nina/Matthias (18%) were also pretty popular. Most of the others were quite low, though interestingly Mal/Alina only had 1 vote (plus one for the show version). Overall, the SoC ships were a lot more popular in this section, which makes sense - this part is really about your favourite ship, and those were more unanimous in the last sections.

Least Enjoyed Ships

Most people said Darkling/Alina, which got 47% of the NOTP votes. A lot more people disliked Darkling/Alina than liked Kaz/Inej. Make of that what you will, but I take it as a somewhat general agreement among many of you guys. Mal/Alina was also strongly disliked at 22%, but around a half or more of these were clarified to be about the book version of the ship specifically. They really must’ve upgraded in the show! Jesper/Kuwei and any other Darkling ships were also voted by a few, but all of these pale in comparison to the anti-Darklina votes. Shoutout to the person who said Apparat/Anyone. I agree, though it’s not something I thought of before seeing this response. Also one person said they didn’t like the poly ships, which I hope meant just the ones mentioned earlier and not all poly relationships in general... Another shoutout to whoever said Kaz/Heleen, because why did I have to read that. A fun question, all in all!

Crack Ships and Shipping Discourse

I love talking about crack ships, so let’s start with that! This time, I really don’t want to have to count and list because... well, let me show you:

I think that sums up the sheer variety, to be honest. Then again, it would be rude not to mention that the most popular were Jesper/Milo, Darkling/Nikolai and Alina/Sun. (If you’re still confused about that last one, I take full responsibility.)

YES KAZ/KRUGE I SUPPORT!!!

Honourable mention to this:

which was a lot to take in, and:

Now for the discourse. Yep, the part you probably came for.

Actually... maybe you didn’t? Looking at all of these responses, I see a lot of people genuinely don’t care about ship wars and so on, and often enjoyed the books regardless of the romances involved. Quite a few disapproved of the ongoing (though small) wars between Darklina and Malina, and others had a similar line of thinking, saying we should maybe stop focusing so much on it. You guys are right. I know this is a ship survey, and the conclusions should not include that shipping isn’t as important as we make it (Yes it should), but... that’s where it’s at.

And then again, a lot of you guys expressed disapproval for Darkling/Alina, discussing how it is often one-sided and manipulative and overall unhealthy, so I could be completely off with that last one. Some people mentioned that they ship this but as a slightly different version that the one given to us, recognising the flaws of the canon ship.

Someone said they headcanon Tolya as aroace (OMG YES!!). We need more aroace characters, so thank you for that headcanon :) We also have a few gay ships mentioned here, and one person telling us they love Malina. Yes, you’re right - it’s pretty unpopular, it turns out. Someone else said Alina should’ve been single, and I agree, actually!

One person rickrolled me here. Thankfully, Youtube’s ads saved me. *wipes forehead*

I leave you all with this, in the end:

Notes from the Survey

Statistics Stuff:

The top ships were taken from AO3, so some ships may be more focused on in other books and may not provide accurate statistics for an earlier series.

The main circles this was sent around may have had bias as most people are from the same discord server, which has debated these topics in the past. Hence certain ships may have lower-than-average results. In future, this could be improved upon by sending this to other servers and areas of the fandom.

Personal bias may be present in the analysis, though I have tried to minimise this in the more formal sections.

Observations and Notes from Me:

You guys really don’t like Darklina. Or you love it. Usually one or the other. Wow.

Be glad I didn’t talk about any of the cursed ships in this. The things I have seen... (:cowboi_eyes:)

I thought more people would rickroll me, ngl.

What Surprised You Guys:

Kaz/Inej/Jesper

A few of you guys saw some of those cursed ships, and that surprised you. Well, me too!

Nikolai ships being in the TV Show section at all, what with his character not being in the show (yeah what was up with that huh tztz)

Inej/Alina

The existence of The Severed Moon

Darkling/Nikolai(/Alina)

How fun the quiz was :D

Things You Sent Me:

Bee Movie copypasta

“Nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition!”, except via an AO3 link

A fun fact about enzymes! I liked this one

Fic recs for Feriku and Sarai (esp for Wylan/Jesper shippers)

Another rickroll

Nice compliments :) aww you guys

I asked everyone for some kind of placeholder name and never used it. Sorry! But hey, anonymity, right?

Closing Statements

If you got this far (I feel like ive been sitting here for hours), thanks for reading! This was fun to do and I hope you enjoyed all of this too! The survey is still open for anyone who hasn’t done it but wants to. If I get a huge amount of new responses, I might update this post! But for now, adios!

-mod emily (and mod fritz)

#grishaverse #fandom #shipping #shadow and bone #six of crows #nikolai series #king of scars #the grisha trilogy

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immacaria · 3 years

Text

Box of Memories

Happy belated birthday, A-Sang! Wish you all the joy and love life has reserved for you!

Almost three weeks after the actual birthday I've finally finished this thanks to my dear school (grinds teeth angrily). Anyway, this is a bit short, like almost 4k or something, and I took this insanely amount of time because of school, but it's alright I finished it now. So I hope you guys enjoy this and I can make your day a little brighter with it. As always, stay safe and healthy!

_____________________________________________________________

It was Nie Huaisang’s birthday and Jiang Cheng was more anxious than when he had to survive Nie Mingjue, Lan Xichen and Meng Yao’s shove talk one after the other. For the heavens and all above, they had been dating for four years now and met each since they were five and six! There was no reason for him to be so nervous! They passed so many birthdays, with so many presents exchanged and Jiang Cheng was still nervous. And just because he made the present with his own hands and it turned out horrible!

Like not the ‘you can’t even look at’ type of horrible, but the ‘didn’t meet my expectations exactly what immediately makes it horrible’ type of horrible. He started doing it exactly two days later after Nie Huaisang said he wanted it and guaranteed that nobody would buy it for him, exactly nine months and eight days before his birthday. He had seen it on Pinterest, in a video where a girl was making a “box of memories” (as Jiang Cheng came to call it) for her younger sister.

She had chosen their favourite memory and made something like a box of shadows to show it. There was a light bulb in the middle with various metal plates cut in the shape of the memories. When turned on, the metal plates started to revolve around the light bulb and create images on the wall, recreating the memory with the shadows. Nie Huaisang loved it and showed it to every person who he knew could give one for him or make one. Thankfully, none of them could give it right away which gave Jiang Cheng enough time to plan how he would do it.

It all began with him asking what memory he would use of all his favorites and asked what happened there, memorizing them to the heart and writing everything down the second he saw himself alone. His drawing skills weren’t as good as Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen’s, but as long as they remained a sketch, they would do. After sketching it all, he went to Nie Mingjue and asked him to teach him how to cut the metal plates and arrange them properly in the other metal pieces. Apparently, there was a machine that did that for them, the only thing they needed to do was insert the images and the sizes of the plates and let it do what it needed to do. Which led Jiang Cheng to ask for some draw lessons from Lan Xichen and digital design from Lan Wangji, which cost several years of his life but he guessed he was bound to do everything needed for his boyfriend.

He planned everything on the little planner he bought (if it was specifically brought for that no one needed to know) and every day he ticked something off. Besides the box of memories, he wrote a letter everyday to him and hid it in the last drawer of his wardrobe under piles and piles of clothes. From Open it now to Open it when you are sixty years old and Open it when you are in doubt about us, everyday a letter for 281 days and too much ink, paper and ideas, too much feelings engraved in those. But should he regret it, knowing that it would make Nie Huaisang happy? The boy loved this kind of old, romantic things like handwritten letters, so why shouldn’t he give it to him too? Handwritten letters with little doodles on the edges of the paper and little trinkets.

At the beginning of May, Jiang Cheng started putting it all together, doing the last reviews and adjustments. Once the plates were done, he called Wei Wuxian to help with the electric part of the thing, the shameless idiot being graduated in electrical engineering somehow. He had to endure his little ramble about how he had become so romantic and how considerate of somebody else’s feelings, how he was going miles out of what everyone said was normal. It would be a lie if Jiang Cheng ever said that he wasn’t slightly proud and happy upon hearing that.

They made slow progress but the present was ready six days before the due date, which gave Jiang Cheng enough anxiety and stress for the rest of his life (good thing he took on his mother’s side of genetics and wasn’t getting any white hairs until a very, very old age). Would Nie Huaisang find out the present before his birthday? Would he hate it or love it? Would he simply be neutral about all the gifts? Would he fake liking it? What could possibly happen once he gives it to him? Would it destroy their relationship?

On March 20, Jiang Cheng was about to have a stroke or an aneurysm or both of them probably. Just some more hours and they would see if Nie Huaisang liked the present or not. Since it had been ready, the poor present had been tested countless times to see if it worked properly (it did, thank gods), changed locations incessantly while he wrote every single letter by hand before making a wooden box and putting all he had made in there. The memory box, the 281 letters and some fans he bought in the Yunmeng market that reminded him of Nie Huaisang.

Early on, he had promised Nie Huaisang that he would help him with the birthday’s decorations and preparations for everything . After that, he made a quick run to his house to take a bath and try to calm himself because he couldn’t throw up in the party, he even got time to test it again, watching as Nie Huaisang’s favourite memory of all time played on his bedroom wall. It was practically memorized by now, the way the images followed one by one in quick succession, recreating a story that he could tell even if he had amnesia.

Nie Huaisang, Nie Mingjue and their parents were the main characters in the memory. Nie Huaisang was maybe four or five years old while Nie Mingjue was something like sixteen or seventeen years old and they were travelling to the small cabin they passed the holidays. He always said that that weekend was the best one of his life, one where his entire family was together and happy, complete. This memory in particular was one where Nie Huaisang was being thrown in the air by his father to land in the arms of one of his mothers while Nie Mingjue and their second mother were suffering a heart attack. Even though there was some melancholy in his eyes, he always spoke fondly and laughed about the face his brother made when he landed on their mother’s arms and passed the rest of the weekend guaranteeing that their father wouldn’t do another one of those again.

Jiang Cheng would die as a happy man if he could make him as happy as he was on that day, even if for one day. Well, not die, he was still too young to die, but he would feel fulfilled and satisfied. So, he tried to focus on that when he stepped inside the party, clutching to the wooden box and breathing deep. He’s going to like it, he’s not going to hate me, he’s going to smile because of the present, everything is going to be fine, we are not breaking up. Okay, maybe he was a little bit paranoid and afraid of what was going to happen, but he was fine, he was going to be fine. He just needed to loosen up and enjoy the party until it was time to open the presents.

“A-Cheng!” Nie Huaisang said, throwing his arms around his neck and hiding his face in his neck. Jiang Cheng only had time to pull the box to the side to prevent him from getting hurt before putting an arm around his waist and kissing his temple. “Tell your brother to stop being mean to me on my birthday.”

“If Lan Wangji can’t control him, what makes you think I can?” He said, still holding him. “Happy birthday, Huaisang, many years of life and happiness for you.” He kissed his temple again before stepping away and showing him the present. “For you.”

“Oh, A-Cheng! You didn’t need to! You are already present enough.” He gasped, taking the box of his hands while Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes at him. He always said that but he remembered very well what he did to Jin Zixuan when the man showed up without his present. He didn’t want to be in the same ending of his fury, thank you very much.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.” He rolled his eyes again, bending a little to let Nie Huaisang kiss his cheek.

“I don’t know what you gave me, but I already love it.” He smiled brightly at him, walking to the kitchen and carefully choosing a place to put it. The kitchen was loaded with presents, some big, others small, colorful wraps or black and white with an interesting pattern on it, some didn’t even had proper wraps around it. There were a lot of presents and for a moment Jiang Cheng’s brain simply went blank and decided that, for sure, there was one that topped his present. Which was nonsense, but still served to increase his stress and anxiety (once again he thanked his genetics for not getting white hairs early). “C’mon, let’s go to the living room. Da-ge is telling some story from when we were children.”

“Is he telling the green incident? Because if he is, I would rather stay in the kitchen.” And check if the other presents are better than mine so I can throw them out the window.

“Of course not! Da-ge doesn’t remember that story anymore.” He waved him off, entering the room in the exact moment Nie Mingjue said:

“Then a bucket of green paint fell into his head.” His thunderous laugh filled the room as he started to tell the amazing story of how Nie Huaisang managed to dye himself green after he dumped a whole bucket of paint on his head when he was seven years old.

“Da-ge!” He screamed, going red instantly. “What are you doing?!” He yelped, high-pitched, as he threw a cushion at him. “Shut up!”

“What? I was just talking about the green dye you did on your skin.” He laughed again, dodging the cushion and showing his tongue to him. It was strange to see a man of his size acting like that, but sincerely Jiang Cheng sometimes forgot that he too was human and (kind of) young. “Hey, Wanyin, do you want to sit here?”

“Hey, hey, hey. No stealing boyfriends on my birthday or ever, Da-ge. You already have two.” He wrapped himself around his arm, glaring at his brother. “Stop being so selfish, Da-ge.”

“Selfish? Take that back, brat, before I break your legs.” He narrowed his eyes at him, pointing a finger at him.

“It’s his birthday and you don’t get to threaten the birthday boy, Jue-ge.” Lan Xichen sighed, pulling his hand down. He was beside Nie Mingjue and sitting next to Lan Wangji, talking quietly between the two of them before the threats started rolling out.

“Stop covering him, Lan Xichen.” He turned to him as Nie Huaisang pulled him to the bench next to the window and between two high bookshelves full of sketchbooks, some completed, others completely blank.

“So, what’s your present?” He suddenly asked, playing with Jiang Cheng’s fingers.

“What? It’s a fucking surprise, A-Sang, I can’t tell you.” He spurred, furrowing his eyebrows at him.

“But, A-Cheng, yours were the heaviest of it all. What is it?” He shook his arm, doing the puppy eyes. The fucking puppy eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that. Stop, A-Sang.” He growled, avoiding looking at him. “You know I can’t take the puppy eyes.”

“A-Cheng~.” He laid ahead, searching for his eyes. And, heavens, who taught that boy that? Nie Mingjue for sure was not. Maybe Meng Yao. Yeah, definitely Meng Yao. Jiang Cheng was going to kill Meng Yao for teaching Nie Huaisang that. “Please~. I want to know.”

“Ok, ok, ok. Just one part, okay?” Jiang Cheng pushed him away, feeling the back of his neck heating up.

“From how many parts?” His eyes were shining and attentive which meant that he was probably making a million combinations on his head, comparing and guessing what he could possibly ever get him.

“I’m not going to tell you.” He scowled, taking a deep breath. “One part of your presents is fans, okay? I got you some fans.”

“Really?!” His eyebrows shot up, disappearing under his bangs. “I love fans.”

“I know, A-Sang.” He breathed out, kissing his fingers.

“But I love you more.” He smiled, leaning to kiss him lightly on the lips. “I love you so much more than the fans.” He murmured against them, hands on his neck.

“Idiot.” He chuckled, kissing him back while smiling. He always seemed to smile easily when he was near him, breath was easier too. Sincerely, Nie Huaisang just made things easier just by being near him, just his presence and, maybe, it was the reason why he wanted to do everything in his power to make him happy as he could be. “I love you too.”

“More than dogs and A-Ling?” He sat between his legs, back against his chest.

“Don’t push your luck.” He may love A-Sang, but dogs and his nephew were more important, they always brought instant happiness with them. Next to him, Nie Huaisang was chuckling quietly, pulling both of Jiang Cheng’s arms around his waist and putting his hands above before starting to talk with Meng Yao about some new exposition of them and all the technicalities involving it.

Jiang Cheng let himself fall back into the security of all the conversations around him that didn’t involve him and the warmth of Nie Huaisang on his arms and against his chest. Slowly his panic disappeared from his mind as the time passed and the presents weren’t mentioned not even once. Almost everyone was there, the only ones missing being Jin Zixuan, Jiang Yanli and their newborn Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng’s little sweetheart, who were overseas to look over the inauguration of Jiang Yanli’s new restaurant in Las Vegas (To say that Jiang Cheng was crazely proud of her would be an understatement).

Either way, no amount of time would be enough to prepare him for when Wei Wuxian and MianMian appeared in the kitchen bringing the cake and the tray of sweets. The candle was already lit up and displaying the number 23, as if nobody knew how old Nie Huaisang was. He dislocated his hands enough to clap but not remove his arm from around his waist. Nie Huaisang laughed, clapping according to the music, but sunken further on his chest, refusing to move another millimeter as his ears went adorably red.

“Happy birthday, Nie Huaisang!” Everyone screamed when the song ended, blowing confetti over them. The screams and whistles became a cacophony as Nie Huaisang blew out the candle and laughed out loud, putting both of his hands over his mouth.

“Happy birthday, Nie-xiong!” MianMian hugged him after Wen Qing, her girlfriend, took the cake from her. “Many, many years of happiness and fulfillment to you, my dear. Hope you enjoy mine and A-Qing’s present.” She winked, mischievously.

“What have you given me, MianMian?” Nie Huaisang said, eyes wide.

“Nothing you can open in front of Da-ge.” She laughed, absolutely delighted at his terrified face and Jiang Cheng’s groan. He had noticed that everyone had a tendency of calling Nie Mingjue ‘Da-ge’.

“No! You stole my idea!” Wei Wuxian complained, giving him a half-hug and equilibrating the tray of sweets on the other arm. “Many years of love and laughter, Nie-xiong, may time and life treat you well.” He fully hugged him once MianMian came back to take the tray away from him, calming Jiang Cheng’s anxiety.

“I want to see what those two gave you. No excuses.” Nie Mingjue said, serious, before crushing him in a tight hug. “Happy anniversary, didi. I’m very proud of you and what you have become. Ma, Baba and Mother would be so, so proud of you and happy for all the friends and people you have around you.” He may or may not have sniffed on that part, hiding his face on his brother’s neck.

“Thank you, Da-ge. They would be very proud of you too.” Nie Huaisang whispered back and Jiang Cheng saw him blink repeatedly to avoid the tears from falling out.

“He grew up so fast.” He mourned, resting his head on Lan Xichen’s shoulder while Meng Yao hugged and wished him a happy birthday and life. Once he was done and it was Lan Xichen’s turn, Nie Mingjue wrapped himself over him, sniffing loudly. After that, the other guests did a quick succession of ‘Happy Birthday’ and wishes for a good and long life. Not for a moment Nie Huaisang stepped away from Jiang Cheng, always at arm’s reach of his hands. Not that he had tried to pull him back when he stepped away, Jiang Cheng would never do that.

“So, A-Sang, now that all the wishes have been given and Wangji-ge and I have cut the cake. For whom is the first piece?” MianMian asked, holding a plate with a piece of cake to him.

“A-Cheng!” He quickly answered, turning to him. “For being the best boyfriend a man could ask. And not being too scared of Da-ge.”

“I’m not that scared of Mingjue-ge, but thank you, I guess.” Jiang Cheng said, taking the plate from his hands and completely refusing to look over where Nie Mingjue was.

“Woah, he didn’t even hesitate.” Wei Wuxian said, surprised. “I could swear he was going to give it to Da-ge.” That was it, Jiang Cheng was now certain that everyone, except for maybe Wen Qing, saw Nie Mingjue as an older brother. But, well, were they wrong?

“Da-ge has received many first pieces in his life. It’s A-Cheng’s time.” Nie Huaisang scrunched his nose at him before jogging to the kitchen. “C’mon people! Eat, eat! I want to open my presents!”

Jiang Cheng chuckled, starting to eat the cake as the others were doing a line to receive their own piece and, fucking hell, he understood why they wanted one. The cake was divine! It was fluffy and tasty, exploding in the mouth the moment you bite it and it wasn’t too sweet. It was possibly the best cake he ever had the pleasure to eat and by the look of the other’s face, they thought that too.

“Nie-xiong, who made the cake? I want their number.” Wei Wuxian said, pleasure written all over his face. “It’s so good!”

“Oh, it was Wangji and Da-ge.” Nie Huaisang said, pointing at them. Everyone turned their heads to them, looking in awe.

“Lan Zhan?! But he never did one of me.” Wei Wuxian complained, pouting.

“Mingjue-ge made the dough and I did the frosting and the decorations.” Lan Wangji passed a piece of cake to Wen Ning.

“And the sweets. He did the sweets too.” Nie Mingjue said, throwing one of the sweets in his mouth.

“Which are fucking marvellous!” MianMian exclaimed, doing a thumbs up for him.

“No speaking while eating.” He and Lan Xichen said in unison, without looking at her. After that everyone focused on eating the cake and the sweets. Nie Huaisang came back to sit beside Jiang Cheng, taking the sweets he didn’t like to his own plate. Most of them got a second piece and more sweets because those things were really fucking good.

“Now, the presents!” Nie Huaisang exclaimed, excited and sending Jiang Cheng’s heartbeat to space. “I’m excited.” He was jumping on his seat.

“Whose present will you open first?” Lan Xichen said, getting up and going to the kitchen.

“A-Cheng’s.” He smiled as he started to bring the presents from the kitchen. Jiang Cheng prayed that his panic weren’t showing on his face nor his anxiety because his mind was running a mile per hour.

He was going to open the present and see how horrible it was that box of memories and they would break up. Maybe not now because of the fans, but once he started reading the letters and seeing how messed up he was, it would be an endgame. No one, being in their right mind, would stay after reading those letters. Before he could be totally swallowed by his traitorous mind, he heard a scream and someone throwing themselves at him, arms around his neck.

“Thank you!” Nie Huaisang screamed in his ear, pulling him against himself. “Thank you so much!” He sounded happy, but he was crying too.

“What the fuck, Huaisang? Are you crying?” He said, trying to look at his face where it was hidden on his neck. “Why are you-...” He started, before seeing the box sitting on his lap. “Oh.”

“A-Cheng.” He whined, looking up. “Look what you did to me. I’m crying like a baby.” The tears were falling two by two, big fat tears that he did not like to see on his face. “When did you buy it?”

“I made it.” He blurted out, focused on wiping the tears.

“What?” He blinked, sniffing loudly.

“I made it. I made most of the things in the box, including the box. The only things I bought were the fans, I still don’t know how to make fans like you.” He kept wiping the tears, putting his sleeve over his nose for him to blow. “You know I’m not good with handcrafted gifts but since it’s your birthday I tried.”

“I love you so much.” Nie Huaisang hugged him again while Wei Wuxian took the box from his legs and turned it on.

“What memory did you use?” He asked and, oh yeah, Jiang Cheng never told any of them what memory he was planning to use. He instructed MianMian to turn the light off, rearranging it on the small coffee table in the center.

“One from when me and Da-ge were younger.” Nie Huaisang answered as Nie Mingjue’s eyes filled with tears at recognition. “Best present ever.” He whispered, leaning on him with a small smile on his lips and watching as the memory came to life again. Jiang Cheng smiled down at him, passing an arm over his shoulders and watching as he told the story about how Nie Mingjue, who had many comments on how it was being told, almost had a heart attack when he was seventeen.

It was, indeed, the best present ever.

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siratrem · 3 years

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I need to nerd out about Haikyuu right now (Season 1 Episode 1) (manga spoilers)

I have nobody that I can nerd out about Haikyuu with so I’ll do it here.

My first introduction to volleyball was through Haikyuu and watching reactors from coaches and players on YouTube really expanded my understanding of this manga/anime. Now that I’ve finished the manga and watched all available episodes (more than once) I want to see why I find this shounen sports anime so bloody compelling.

A good beginning sets up the middle and end. The opening scene of Haikyuu is the famous “a tall, tall wall looms before me…”. Before the rewatch, I had it in my head that the scene after the opening (Hinata seeing the Little Giant on TV) was the first scene. So, no, Furudate-sensei actually started this chapter at the end – Hinata is already in the Karasuno gym, he’s already scared of the block, and he’s lining up with the shoes of five of his teammates. This is a common framing technique – sets up the question of “how did we get here?”.

On my first watch of Haikyuu, I didn’t know anything about volleyball. I have, however, watched a fair amount of anime, including shounen. I think my inexperience actually helped me understand why Hinata was so awestruck by the Little Giant when he saw him on TV.

I knew the premise of the anime – tiny Shoyo wants to play a sport made for tall people – but rewatching it actually confused me. This scene is set 3-4 years before even making it to Karasuno, so Shoyo is, what, 11? He doesn’t know how tall he’s going to be, so why was he fixated on this “small” player going up against the bigger blockers? I mean, he could still be small for his age and be self-conscious about it, I guess, but not like he would be at 15. Then I thought – maybe it’s because the Little Giant jumped so high?

Shoyo is small, yes, but he can jump high. This is a defining aspect of his character. This was also the moment Shoyo became interested in volleyball, from what I can tell. So, if he’s as inexperienced as me, he wouldn’t be able to see the technique that the Little Giant used to defeat the big blockers. In his little kid head, maybe he assumed that the Little Giant beat the blockers because he jumped so high. So, perhaps little Shoyo thought: hey, I can jump high → I’ll be good at volleyball.

Themes

What are the overarching themes of Haikyuu shown in this episode?

Friendship. This is a Shounen anime, after all. Hinata makes friends wherever he goes, but it’s not until the match in this episode (and later Karasuno) that he finds a place that he belongs. Hinata has a wide variety of friends and is lovable enough to both get Izumi and Koji to join his team and make them emotional about the game.

Kageyama takes a liking to him from this match (although whether Mr Grumpy himself even recognises this is up to interpretation). From the moment they snap at each other in the hallway outside the gym bathroom to that beautiful jump that scores the first genuine point for Hinata’s team, Kageyama is intrigued by the bouncing ball of sunshine. After the match is finished, Kageyama snaps at Hinata “what were you doing for the last three years?”. He’s the first person to see Hinata’s potential, although Hinata takes it as an insult. It’s okay – they just don’t know each other yet.

Rivalry. Kageyama vs Hinata. Later (ep 6 minor spoilers??): Karasuno (Hinata and Kageyama) versus Aoba Johsai (Kunimi and Kindaichi). Shoyo sees Kageyama as the biggest barrier to his dream of playing volleyball. He wants to defeat him with all his being: if he can defeat the strong player, then he will be the strong player.

Victory and defeat. Duh. It’s a sports anime. One team plays another in a game where only one can win. Hinata is sure he is capable – he’s over-confident and inexperienced. He doesn’t know what good volleyball looks like, let alone how to implement it. But he’s also a show-off – a facet of his personality I didn’t really grasp until season 4. He wants the recognition the Little Giant got. He wants a stadium of people to go “wow, did you see him jump? Did you see how he beat the three-man block? Oh my god, he’s so amazing”. I’m sure the cool nickname – the Little Giant – caught his attention as well. So if he tries hard and jumps high enough, he’ll win, right?

Yeah. Poor baby learns a very harsh lesson. This defeat is crushing. He jumped high, like the Little Giant, but he couldn’t defeat the block. Those looming hands haunt him – “a tall, tall wall looms before me…”. This is a barrier he can’t overcome and he doesn’t know *why...*You can see it on his face after the block – ‘huh? I copied the Little Giant’. This sets up the goal of the first season: Hinata needs to learn how to see what’s at the top, the other side of that tall wall. He needs to hit rock-bottom before he can start climbing up.

Kageyama’s team won because it was a better team. Kitagawa Daichi is a powerhouse on the Miyagi junior high volleyball scene. I don’t know if it’s a private school, but it’s a feeder school for Aoba Johsai, which is a private school. Both seem to have a specialism in volleyball training. Maybe if Hinata went to Kitagawa Daichi, [Manga spoilers] if he’d been introduced to volleyball as early as Kageyama was, maybe he’d already be a monster. Or maybe his natural instincts would have been trained out of him. It’s important to the story that Hinata starts off as an untrained underdog, deprived of good volleyball and hungry for victory.

Team versus the individual. Kitagawa Daichi was the favourite to win the whole tournament. It’s a powerhouse team with more players than can fit on the bench. They’re tall, they’re scary, they’re elite. The team members often go on to Aoba Johsai, a high school powerhouse. Hinata’s school didn’t even have a team until he came along. They’re small (exactly 6 players, no reserves, no libero). His teammates don’t even know the rules for the game. Hinata had to fight tooth and nail to get on the court. However, he’s encouraging to his team members and dedicated. He’s glowing at just being there. He wants to win, of course, but most of all he wants to play volleyball.

Volleyball is a team sport. “The team that wins is the one with the strongest six players”. However, at times, it seems like both Hinata and Kageyama are the only ones really playing on their teams. Kageyama is giving it his all, yelling at his team for not keeping up with him and slacking off. Hinata is the only one on his team who wants to be there, the only one who wants to play. He’s hitting the most spikes, jumping the highest, playing the best (not that that’s saying much). This match, in a large way, is Kageyama versus Hinata.

Talent. Kageyama is a genius setter. (Manga spoilers:) He was raised in a family of volleyball players (one of which is an alumnus of Shiratorizawa for christ’s sake). He’s enamoured with the sport – obsessed with it. He lives and breathes volleyball. (Manga spoilers:) he keeps a volleyball journal where he records and analyses every play, practice and game he’s ever made. He’s tall and strong and athletic. He goes to a school with a good volleyball training programme. He’s built for this game.

Hinata is (superhumanly) athletic. He can run fast and jump high. But he’s short and untrained. His talent is raw and unrefined. But it’s still enough to catch Kageyama’s attention.

Characters

Furudate-sensei is a fan of the Meaningful Name™ convention. This is actually fairly common in Japanese culture anyway: traditionally baby names are carefully chosen to reflect the parents’ aspirations for the children. (I also don't speak Japanese so I'm going off other people's translations for the kanji).

HINATA SHOYO (日向翔陽) - “sun place” “soaring sunlight”. He’s a bouncing ball of sunshine who makes friends wherever he goes and jumps really high. He’s a shounen protagonist to his core: boundless enthusiasm, determination, friendship, the underdog. He’s also a magnetic hero.

This episode needs to cement the key aspects of Shoyo’s personality. He’s outgoing and “magnetic” – he makes friends with people from all walks of life. He is an underdog. Everyone loves an underdog, right? Effort and passion should be rewarded. The good guys should win. This episode really sets up how hard little Shoyo had to fight to be on the court and how he’s willing to fight to stay on it. The flashback occurring the moment he walks into the gym for his first tournament demonstrates this nicely: his junior high school didn’t have a team or a real club, none of his friends was interested in volleyball (although they were athletes of various persuasions) and he spent most of his time practising by himself against the wall or begging his friends to set the ball for him.

It’s okay, though: he has the magnetism of a true Shounen protagonist and not only manages to talk his friends into occasionally throwing the ball to him but also drags them to a tournament of a sport they’ve never played and don’t really understand. He’s also managed to talk some first-years into joining the team. Shoyo is very magnetic and I wonder how much he’s aware of it at this point. He’s not exactly reflective or a deep thinker.

He’s enthusiastic and determined. He will play volleyball to his full capabilities until the match point. When his teammate worries about getting hurt after watching him run into a wall, his response is “I don’t understand [why you want to slow down]. We haven’t lost yet”. It ain’t over until it’s over.

KAGEYAMA TOBIO (影山飛雄) - “Shadow Mountain” “Flying Hero”. What are his main traits? He’s volleyball mad, he’s ambitious and competitive, he’s tall, he’s athletic and strong, and he’s grumpy. Also intimidating – to his opponents and his teammates. The second-years on his team are scared of him. He hates to hear them trash-talking other players as they are only benchwarmers. He’s a setter – a control freak who takes every match he plays seriously, no matter the opponent. He will win at his best, dammit, and without holding back. He especially seems annoyed that the benchwarmers on his team place themselves above Hinata, even though they’re not even good enough to be regulars. “Don’t ride the coat-tails”, he tells them.

He wants to beat the block and the faster the attack, the better the hit, he believes. If people can’t keep up with him, that’s their fault. His sets are perfect. They need to keep up with him. If only they were as fast as Hinata, and capable of hitting difficult sets like when Izumi fumbles the ball and Shoyo leaps to save it and hits it anyway. They score their first genuine point off that, and Kageyama is impressed.

Kageyama and Shoyo are opposites, but they’re also mirrors of each other. Both are reckless: Kageyama throws reckless sets and Shoyo will leap for the ball even if he has to crash into walls and what-have-you. Both want to win. Both have their talents. Both love volleyball.

Something I found interesting is how the characters are in “sets”. Shoyo and Kageyama, obviously – their relationship is one of the major focuses of the whole series. The secondary characters too: Kunimi and Kindaichi to Kageyama and Izumi and Koji to Shoyo. They share the same jersey numbers: Kindaichi and Izumi are #5 and Kunimi and Koji are #6. These “sets” of minor characters only exist in the narrative in relation to each other. If Kindaichi appears, Kunimi is never far behind.

Izumi and Koji are third-years at this point, so why are their numbers lower than the first years? I realised (at the end of the episode) that Shoyo actually talked the first years into joining the volleyball club, not just the tournament team. Shoyo inspired a new generation of volleyball players – something he continues to do throughout the series.

Kindaichi and Kunimi are often showed in the background of Kageyama’s shots. Kunimi is the first person to serve in the game – he gets a few service aces. Kindaichi is the ace(?) of the team, often shown spiking Kageyama’s sets. This is an example of the subtle manipulation of the audience: hinting that these faces will reappear. It’s the same kind of story-telling that makes the reactors I’ve watched feel so smart when they predict something. The author wants you to notice them. The author is practically hanging a sign over them saying “remember these two!”.

When Kindaichi almost misses a reckless toss from Kageyama and expresses surprise that they managed to score from it, Kageyama responds “Faster!”, which makes Kindaichi irritated. Kunimi complain about his sets with him – Kunimi makes a comment about not having to work so hard as they’re outclassing Hinata’s team by miles – but Kageyama is taking the game seriously.

Kunimi and Kageyama squabble over Kunimi’s “laziness” – he doesn’t run for balls when they’re far enough in points, he doesn’t see why they have to try hard against such a weak and untrained team.

Kindaichi and Kageyama argue over Kageyama’s sets. Kageyama is the self-centred King of the Court after all. I think Kindaichi is actually a friendly sweetheart – and he seems to interact with Kageyama the most and deals with most of his sets. These missed friendships are missed opportunities for the three of them. (Manga spoilers): Kageyama shows he wants to be friends and play with them as adults.

Then, there are the Karasuno players. No faces, just those awesome black club jackets. I love those things. I now know that they are Suga, Daichi and Tanaka, but Furudate-sensei is good at building tension and anticipation by hiding their faces.

They appear in the stands at the junior high tournament, talking about Hinata and Kageyama’s match. Suga comments on Kageyama being “the King of the Court”. Ep 2 spoiler: Suga is a setter. Of course he’s going to appreciate Kageyama. Daichi also appreciates the overwhelming talent. It’s Tanaka who bets on Hinata becoming a threat. Tanaka seems to like Hinata’s spirit and athleticism. Ep 2 spoilers: He’s also the main hitter for the team at this point, so as the setter recognises the setter, the hitter acknowledges the hitter.

We later see them upon Shoyo’s arrival at Karasuno amongst the other clubs gathering applicants. Shimizu is also there. Daichi comments on the limited selection of applicants – this sets up the fact that Karasuno has been in decline: the “flightless crows” and such. There’s character establishing moments: Suga trying to cheer up Daichi and Tanaka flirting (and getting shut down) by Shimizu.

The Little Giant. Shoyo’s inspiration and hero, who shapes the entire course of his life. The 170 cm wing spiker makes him fall in love with volleyball and determined to enter Karasuno High School. Interesting how Shoyo never mentions his name. Maybe he doesn’t know it? He doesn’t really seem to understand the Little Giant at all. (Manga spoilers): I think this is why, by the time we meet Tenma Udai, he isn’t upset about his hero leaving volleyball behind. Now that he understands volleyball, he knows that he could never be the Little Giant anyway. Their play styles are different. Their positions are different. Shoyo can now be himself, forge his own playstyle – Ninja Shoyo, the ultimate decoy.

One thing I like about the characters is how their personalities/character development reflect their play styles, which becomes more apparent later on.

Motifs

“A tall, tall wall looms before me…”. This is the opening (and closing) of the season. It’s Shoyo’s greatest barrier – a literal wall holding him back from scoring. He can’t overcome it on his own, so, as shown in the opening scene, he needs the five other players on his side to get through it.

Crows (obvs). I find it funny to watch non-weeb reactors who don’t know what “Karasu” means. There are crows everywhere in this anime*.* The first time Shoyo sees the Little Giant jump, he sees black crow wings over the arms and gets blasted by crow feathers. Inspiration – seeing a human fly. Shoyo is now hooked on volleyball. When Shoyo’s running to the volleyball gym on Karasuno campus, he startles a crow who drops a feather in his face.

King of the Court. Before Shoyo even hears Kageyama’s nickname, he sees him wearing a cape and crown. The crowd (which Furudate-sensei often uses for exposition) also give him that name, and then Suga repeats it. When Kageyama appears in the hallway outside the bathroom, Shoyo sees him wearing the same outfit. Of course, Shoyo thinks this is a great thing – a reflection of his talent and powerful aura. Kageyama sets too fast for Kindaichi during the warm-ups and criticises him. Kindaichi rolls his eyes and half-heartedly apologies. The coach scolds him and tells him that the best set is the easiest for the hitter to spike.

Face receives. 2. 1 with a football (soccer) to Shoyo’s face, the other when Koji misses a receive.

“I can jump”. Shoyo says it to Kageyama while he’s being chastised for talking big. Izumi says it to Shoyo when they’re trying to sike themselves up for their match.

The pre-game bathroom break. Shoyo gets nervous after seeing Kitagawa Daichi and runs to the bathroom, only to run into players from the opposing team. This is a running gag throughout the series.

I don’t know if this counts, but I saw Shiratorizawa jackets in the crowd at the junior high tournament.

Many Youtube reactors commented on how Shoyo runs everywhere. He runs through the Karasuno campus on the way to the gym. The bouncing ball of sunshine has one gear: zoom. Similarly, Kageyama sets fast while Shoyo can cross the volleyball court in the blink of an eye. Their play styles complete each other.

Jersey numbers. Shoyo is 1, Kageyama is 2. When they get their jerseys (spoiler maybe?), Kageyama is 9 and Shoyo is 10. This is the only time Shoyo’s jersey number is higher than Kageyama. (Manga spoilers): in the V-league, Kageyama is 20, Shoyo is 21, then 9 and 10 again in the Olympics. As mentioned above, Kindaichi and Izumi are #5 and Kunimi and Koji are #6.

“One more” - mou ikkai. Hinata will forever ask for one more chance to play volleyball. He asks Izumi to set for him despite his complaints.

“The strong get to remain on the court”. Shoyo has to be good at volleyball to play volleyball. He wasn’t good enough to beat Kageyama, so he only got to play 31 minutes before having to leave, while everyone else got to play more games. Kageyama is used to winning at this point and only values people who can stay on the court.

Plot

Kageyama versus Hinata. This is arguably the main plot point of the series. Hinata wants to win and Kageyama defeats him. Hinata sees him as a good player, so if he also wants to be a good player, he needs to be able to outplay him. Kageyama envies his natural jumping height and speed. They argue and fight and challenge and inspire each other – destined rivals. Such a shounen trope.

Hinata is an underdog who had to fight to stay on the court. He didn’t have a coach, he didn’t have a team. Kind of an aside, but somehow he has good jumping form (according to Coach Donny) which seems to confuse volleyball players who react to Haikyuu. They wonder why he doesn’t know how to change his spike direction and forget that he’s new to the sport. As someone who doesn’t know anything about volleyball form, I found this interesting.

Hinata is willing to put the work in to develop his skills. At the beginning of the episode, he is horrified when a teacher suggests he joins the girl’s volleyball team but asks them for help (along with the 1st years who seem to be permanent members now) at the end of the episode during the montage. He also studies for the High School entrance exams and makes it into Karasuno – his determination has paid off and he wants to go to his dream school even if he has to bike over the mountains every day.

Kitagawa Daichi is in the newspaper/magazines stating their defeat. This is foreshadowing the downfall of Kageyama and the King of the Court and sort of the big plot twist at the end of the episode:

“I’m finally at Karasuno!” Shoyo thinks, running to his first meet at the gymnasium. Then...Boom – Kageyama. His sworn rival is now his teammate.

I'm sure I missed a whole lot of stuff but this was what caught my attention.

#haikyuu!!#meta #long post #analysis #themes #1x01 #manga spoilers

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woah-were-halfway-there · 4 years

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The Sweetest of Them All

A/N: just another little bonus part of the AFTR universe that I came up with out of nowhere. Also, I left this as third person instead of second. Enjoy!

Word Count: 3.2k

Y/N has never been a big fan of Valentine's Day.

To her, it was overrated and expensive. But, she'd be lying if she said she didn't love the fact that it gave an extra reason to love on Auston a ridiculous amount. Sure, she did that every day, but to be fair, she loved how the title of Valentine's Day added a bit more fun and excitement to something she'd normally do any other day. It felt different for some reason, so even though she didn't love the so-called holiday, she still tried to plan something special for it every year.

Admittedly, she and Auston almost got competitive about it with trying to one-up the other with affection. They didn't care about gifts. They cared about the time they spent together and the thoughtfulness behind it.

Usually, it was Y/N that came up with something ridiculously sweet for Valentine's Day to do for Auston. However, this year, he had her beat.

For some odd reason, Y/N woke up very early that day. Maybe it was the baby waking her, or perhaps it was her internal clock saying sleep was no longer necessary. But, regardless, she was awake much earlier than usual. She also knew Mia wasn't awake or else she would've heard her, so she took that time to lie back in bed and relax for a few minutes on her own.

The bed felt incredibly empty, given that Auston was with the Leafs in Washington and wasn't expected to be back in Toronto until late that night. Frank was a good cuddle buddy alternative, but sometimes the Goldendoodle just wasn't enough when Y/N was missing her man. Of course, this was one of the days when she missed him a lot, so she took that as an excuse to text Auston and at least get this so-called holiday kicked off.

Y/N Happy Valentine's Day, Aus 🥰 can't wait to see you tonight

She wasn't expecting him to message back right away, seeing as it was only 7:30 in the morning, but much to her surprise, he did.

Auston Happy Valentine's Day, babe 💕 Can't wait to see you either. Did the flowers for Mia get delivered?

Y/N Yes, they got here last night. They're beautiful. I set them on the kitchen counter, so once she's awake and we go downstairs, she'll see her little V-Day gift from you

Auston Perfect. I got part of your Valentine's thing with me right now too. Ready for it?

Y/N Is it going to make me cry?

Auston Probably

Y/N Great. Hit me with your best shot

She stared at her phone screen for a moment, expecting it to light up with the notification of an incoming FaceTime call from her husband or a picture, but instead, he sent her a link. But not just any link, it was the link to the video recording of a new Spittin' Chiclets podcast episode that was over an hour-long called 'Love Day: Part One.'

Confused, but also insanely curious, Y/N then leaned over to grab her laptop from the bedside table and got into the most comfortable position her growing baby bump would allow so she could watch the video like that. As soon as she was about to press play, her phone buzzed with another text.

Auston This was filmed a couple of weeks ago when the Chiclets guys were in Toronto. They interviewed at least 10 different guys in the league at different times, and they're kind of long, which is why there's more than one part. Just watch the intro, then I'm the first interview. Mitch is on part 2 if you want to watch that as well, but yeah... call me when you're done 💕

Still unsure of how to process what was going on, Y/N just shook her head and followed the link.

The video started with Biz, Whit and Rear sat all-around a table, each wearing a different red, white or pink shirt with heart-shaped balloons positioned behind them. Empty bottles of Pink Whitney sat on the table, acting as vases for bouquets of roses, making Y/N roll her eyes and chuckle at how far these guys would go for good product placement. But, she kept watching, and unsurprisingly, Biz was the first to speak.

Biz: "For Valentines Day this year, we wanted to do something different. Something more soft. So, we're going to tell, well, I guess, show some love stories."

Whit: "Bet you all didn't know that some of the greatest love stories to ever be told have happened to some of the guys that play in the NHL. Don't believe me? Guess you'll have to listen to find out what they are."

Rear: "We asked some players to come in and talk to us about their relationship stories and give as many details as they were willing to give. And let me tell you, they were great. To start us off, we have Auston Matthews of the Toronto Maple Leafs telling us his fairytale romance."

The video then clipped to a shot of Biz sitting next to Auston in what Y/N assumed was the hotel downtown that the Chiclets guys were staying at. Auston wasn't dressed extravagantly or anything, just wore a grey hoodie, black pants, and his signature Raiders snapback.

Y/N immediately recognized his outfit. She remembered Auston coming home in those same clothes early one afternoon after he did some running around downtown with Mia, and started thinking of how not once did he mention doing anything for the podcast. He kept this very on the down low, and Y/N was excited to see how it would all play out.

Biz: "Alright, with us today, we have none other than the Leafs number 34, Auston Matthews. Welcome back to the show, Auston. How ya doin?"

Auston: "I'm great. Thanks for having me. How are you guys?"

Whit and Rear: "Good."

Biz: "Great, real good. Now, Auston, you know what you're here to talk about, right?"

Auston: (chuckling) "You're acting like you didn't spend the last week blowing up my phone until I agreed to do this."

Biz: "Amazing! You do know. So, here's how it's all going to go down. We've got a list of questions about your relationship with your significant other. Your obvious better half. And are going to take turns asking them so the people listening at home can get a bit of insight on your, and I quote, iconic love story. Why don't you give us a little summary of your relationship before we dive in?"

Auston: (hesitantly) "Sure, okay. So, my wife Y/N and I have been married for almost two years now. Our anniversary is at the end of July. She accidentally forgot it last year, which I haven't let her live down. Y/N, babe, this is your six month in advance warning that our anniversary is indeed coming up again this year… She's going to hate that I mentioned that. We, uh, we've been together since my first season in Toronto, so for a pretty long time now, and it's been amazing. We have a daughter, Amelia, but everyone just calls her Mia unless she's in trouble. She just turned two on January 25th, and we have our second baby on the way. They're due to be making their grand appearance in late June. We also have our firstborn, Frank, the Goldendoodle. Can't forget about him. But, yeah, that's my little family."

Whit: (nodding along with Biz and Rear) "Fair enough. Now, how and when did you and Y/N meet exactly?"

Auston: "We met on the night of my first NHL game back in 2016. She was at that game."

Biz: "Oh, yeah? Was she there for a reason?"

Auston gave him an unimpressed look.

Biz: "What?"

Auston: "You know why she was there!"

Biz: (shrugging) "Our listeners don't. C'mon, refresh my memory. Was she there to cheer someone else on?"

Auston: (shaking his head) "Yeah. She, uh, she's a cousin of one of my teammates, so she was there with their family to watch him during our first game."

Biz: (grinning widely) "What teammate?"

Auston: "The one out in the hallway keeping my daughter occupied while you keep being annoying and asking me questions you already know the answer to."

Everyone laughed at that, including Y/N, as she shifted onto her side, being mindful of her growing bump that seemingly became more noticeable each day, and got comfortable as she braced herself for what the rest of this interview would entail.

Biz: (still laughing): "Just to clarify for everyone who still doesn't know, he's talking about Mitch Marner."

Auston: "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up."

Rear: "I take it that Mitch and Mia get along really well? I haven't heard a peep from her since you came in here."

Auston: "Oh, she loves him. Yeah, that's her Mitchy, alright. Him and Steph, who you will hear all about once Mitch comes in here, are Mia's godparents and some of her favourite people."

Whit: "That's awesome. And how was that at first, though, being romantically involved with one of your teammates' family members? Sounds like grounds for some chaos, if I'm honest."

Auston: "It sure made meeting the family a bit more nerve-wracking. I'm just kidding. No, it was fine. It was definitely a little awkward at first trying to figure out how I was going to tell Mitch that I wanted to date his cousin. Like, he and Y/N are very close. Always have been. And the last thing both me and Y/N wanted was for Mitch to be uncomfortable. He did handle it really well, though. It's because of him I was even able to get to know her in the first place, which I'll never be able to thank him enough for."

Rear: "Now, you're a pretty private guy. You post the odd picture of your little family from time to time. Y/N is rather private, as well. So, really, no one knows your guys' story other than those who have lived it with you or watched it unfold. I'm sure many people will jump right on the chance to listen to this, seeing as you and Y/N are one of the most beloved couples in the NHL. But, what exactly made you want to come on here, give a bit of insight into your private life, and talk about it all?"

Auston: "Well, for one, Biz would not stop asking me to do it. Literally kept calling and texting me for days until I finally agreed."

Whit: "Shocker."

Biz: "Hey, now."

Auston: (chuckling) "That and also I figured, why not. I love my wife, and I love our little story. It's nice to think back on everything that's happened and see how it all got us to where we are now. With all the ups and the downs, its uh, it's been an amazing ride for sure, and I wouldn't change it for a thing. Also, it's for Valentine's Day. I haven't told her I'm doing this, so when you guys drop the episode, I'm just going to send it to her without much context."

Whit: "Do you think she'll cry?"

Auston: "Absolutely. I know this kind of thing would make her tear up regularly, but those pregnancy hormones have got her bad. Without a doubt, she's going to call me crying once she's done watching this."

Y/N scoffed as he said that and grabbed some tissues to wipe away the waterworks she already felt coming on.

Biz: "I've met Y/N many times now. The first time being back in what, 2018?"

The screen then showed an old picture of Biz sitting in a restaurant with his arm wrapped around Y/N's shoulders, both smiling widely as they held up their drinks, with Auston seemingly moping off to the side a little bit. Y/N chuckled at the image, instantly thinking back to the day she first met Paul Bissonnette and how wild it was before the photo faded away and showed the guys again.

Biz: "Yeah, it was when she was in Scottsdale visiting you during the summer. Great girl, completely out of Auston's league."

Auston: "Hey!"

Biz: "I'll never forget you sassing her when she commented on how hot Arizona was, with her being Canadian and all, but damn she was fast putting you in your place by calling you a, what was it?"

Auston: (grumbling) "Desert Boy."

Everyone burst out laughing again, except Auston, who just rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically.

Auston: "Whatever. She sasses me all the time when I complain about the snow, but the one time I do it back, I get called a Desert Boy and can never live it down."

Biz: (still laughing) "Ugh, amazing. Okay, moving on because we don't have much time and can probably fit in like two more questions. So, Auston, tell us how you knew that Y/N was the end game for you. How did you know that she was the one?"

Auston: "Oh, man. I don't even know how to explain it. Growing up, you see all these movies and shows, or read books where people always find someone who is their soulmate. Their perfect match. And I never knew what the feeling of finding that person was because I had never experienced it. My mom would tell me that when I did find that person, I'd know. That it'll be such an intense feeling, and to be honest, I didn't believe her. Until I met Y/N, I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true. The first time I met her, something drew me in, and I knew I wanted to get to know her better right away. Mitch spoke so highly of her, so did the other guys on the team that had already met her and over the first couple of months of us knowing each other, I saw what they meant. She quickly became one of my best friends ever. When we started dating, I saw more of how good a person she is, which attracted me even more. She is so selfless and caring for everyone around her; it truly blows my mind. I had never seen my family welcome a girl I introduced them to as quickly as they did her, and I trust their judgment the most. But even if they didn't do that, I know they would have accepted her regardless because, honestly, I probably seemed like a lovesick idiot. I still do. Y/N became this significant light in my life that I knew I wanted to be there forever. I began thinking about what it'd be like spending the rest of my life with her. Then it became something that I knew I needed. I can't imagine my life without her, and I never want to. She makes me so happy and has given me more than I could ever thank her for. I'll never understand how I, of all people, was the one to capture her massive heart, but I do know how lucky I am."

As he spoke, the screen showed a little picture slideshow of Y/N and Auston over the years of their relationship. It started with one that Ema took the first time Y/N had ever gone to Scottsdale. Y/N was sitting on the edge of a pool, and her legs dipped into the water. Auston stood between them as he wrapped his arms around her middle and leaned against her while looking over at where Ema stood taking the picture. The next one was from a Christmas party where the two were under a mistletoe as Auston leaned Y/N back and was kissing her cheek as she laughed and held onto him for dear life. There was a picture of them with Auston's family, one of them with Mitch and Steph, and another of Auston with his arms around Nate and Mya, Y/N's younger brother and sister, as the three smiled at the camera and Y/N was in the background looking confused.

The last few pictures were a bit more recent. They showed Y/N holding Frank as a puppy, a maternity photo of her and Auston posing when she was pregnant with Mia, and one of them on their wedding day with Mia and the rest of the gang. Then, the slideshow concluded with a very recent picture of them taken just a couple of weeks prior at Mia's birthday party, where Auston has his arms wrapped around Y/N from the back, showcasing her growing belly. At the same time, she leaned against him and glanced over her shoulder at him lovingly. The photos then went away and showed the guys again as Auston finished speaking.

Auston was right. Y/N was full-on bawling by that point.

All the guys were smiling as Auston finished saying his thing, but were soon interrupted by a knocking noise followed by a door opening.

Mitch: (offscreen) "Wait, no! Don't let her in!"

Mia: (also offscreen) "Daddy!"

Mia then came into the frame as she ran towards Auston, not caring about what was going on or who was there. Auston was quick reacting as he smiled widely and scooped Mia right up into his arms, making sure to place multiple kisses on her cheek as she giggled and squirmed in his hold, while Mitch became visible too and shrugged.

Auston: "Hi, mini. I missed you. Did you have fun with Mitchy?"

Mia: "Yeah! Where's mommy, daddy?"

Auston: "She's at home, baby girl. I'm almost done, then we can go get a Timbit while we wait for Mitch to be done. Sounds good?"

Mia: (knuckling at her eyes, tiredly) "Mhmm."

Rear: "This is adorable."

Biz: "Hi, Mia."

Mia: (shyly while hiding against Auston's chest a bit) "Hi, Biz."

Whit: (laughing) "Okay, I think we've kept you long enough now, Auston. Is there anything else you and Mia would like to say to Y/N?"

Auston: "Yes. Happy Valentine's Day, babe. I love you so much, and I'm sorry I'm not there right now. You're going to hear a lot more from me on actual Valentine's Day, but for right now, I think that's just about it. Mia, can you blow a kiss to the camera so mommy can see it and say 'happy Love Day!'"

Mia: (blows the kiss) "Happy Love Day, mommy!"

Auston: "Can you tell her that you love her?"

Mia: "Love you!"

Auston and Mia then waved to the camera and said bye as the clip faded out, and a new interview of another NHLer began playing.

Y/N's heart felt so full. She couldn't stop crying over how much she loved her family and how badly she needed to hear something like that. Life had been particularly hard on her as of late and seemed to keep throwing her curveballs, but this, this was exactly what she needed. To be reminded of how loved she is and that she genuinely is never alone.

She then grabbed her phone to call Auston and remind him of how much she loved him, that day and every day. The two talked for a few minutes before Y/N was pretty sure she could hear Mia waking up. After saying their goodbyes, Y/N found herself thinking about how, regardless of how she feels about the actual day, this was a Valentine's Day she will never forget.

#auston matthews fanfiction #nhl imagines #hockey rpf #nhl rpf #auston matthews imagine #auston matthews imagines #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagine #toronto maple leafs fanfiction #nhl headcanon #hockey fanfiction #hockey imagines #hockey imagine

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crystal-moon-101 · 3 years

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Ben Gen 10 - Live Reaction Review

Right, so since I’ve finally got my hands on the new crossover episodes, and since my favourite show of all time is Generator Rex, I thought I’d watch it and write down things along the way. Mostly just reactions to things happening as they go, and then probably a simple review at the in another post of what I liked, didn’t like, and maybe what other ways this episode could have gone.

Spoilers! Kind of, for those who haven’t seen it yet! But onto the watching!

Should probably mention I haven’t seen a whole lot of the Reboot Ben 10. Not awful from what I’ve seen, some interesting and well-done aspect even, but certainly not my cup of tea. But I’m here for my boi Rex anyway so…

This is actually quite a cute theme song intro, not gonna lie

Ah, yes, a very American opening in a very American location.

Lol, of course they use Heatblast as the first alien in the episode, got the same voice actor as Rex, nice touch.

Evil...trees? Are these actually villains in the show?

Also, that little girl is precious.

Ben, are you trying to start a forest fire in the middle of the park?!

Ha, Gwen gets it!

Ah, yes, more American stuff.

“Don’t wreck the precious monuments” should have seen what you did to Mount Rushmore in your past, Ben.

Sup, Hex.

Music is evil, got it.

So Ben’s aliens are pretty famous already, at least being treated more like celebrities than monster sightings.

“Burn the flute!” A.K.A nearly burn Hex in the process.

And that’s why Ben never passed music class.

And why exactly do you want the world, Hex?

“Hopefully the last one of the summer” Don’t jinx it Max!

Time goes by so fast, doesn’t it Ben? Especially with aliens, villains and timetravel.

Max is secretly an EVO with that kind of growl.

Yes, because as we all know, villains will stop trying to take over the world once summer is over. They must hibernate for the winter.

Also, Max, did you steal those marshmallows?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….Ben, you good there?....Did Hex do something to your brain?

Who thought this would be great to animate!?

We all have those existential crises and talk to smores.

Jesus, Rex, got ninja skills I see.

Some homeless kid and his monkey stole my food? Time to kick some ass!

My favourite alien, Canonballoon.

I’ve missed my boy and his chimp.

Awwwww they’re sharing! Also just….feel so bad for them already. Homeless and struggling for food, my poor boys.

So EVOs do exist here? Wonder how that will be explained.

Ben out here really trying to beat up some other kid, lol. What a great hero.

Bobo, you are great.

I feel like...Ben’s going through some issues.

Ah yaaaaaaaaaaa, bring on the EVO powers! BFS!

Look ma, no hands!

Rex 1, Ben 0

Ben really wants to commit murder or assault here, wow.

Overboard is the word I’d use, yes.

The life of a background character.

Nanites confirmed! And now they’re in the watch, that ain’t good.

Huh...not what I thought was gonna happen.

The little girl is still precious.

This would be fun to explain to Azmuth.

This ain’t good.

On the run from Providence I see.

Awww, poor Rex. Really doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

I can’t tell if these people are angry because of the DNA affect them, or they’re really just being angry in general.

See ya, Gwen and Max.

Interesting to see that the Providence aircraft looks straight out of the show.

Evening, Six.

Still a badass like normal.

He said Omega, he said the word!

Also, nice blame game there Ben. It’s not like you provoked Rex by, ya know, trying to crush him like a grape.

Um...Six...did you just….try to kill a kid? He didn’t know Ben had powers, that pillar could have easily crushed a normal human.

“This is how you try to convince me you’re not a threat?” Say the dude who just tried to murder a kid!!”

Oh no, he Naruto runs!

Oh, hello Hex.

Also, what is Providence in this world? What are EVOs and Nanites in this world? None of this has been explained yet.

Ok, so that’s what Providence is...You’d think we would have seen them before based on all the aliens showing up who want to destroy the world.

EVO Generator....I wonder if that means that there aren’t very many EVOs, like maybe there is only a set group from the same lab, and Rex is considered the most dangerous because he can make EVOs.

Ben, do you even know what an EVO is?

Jeez, I know Six is like, the sixth deadliest man on the planet, but he just tackles alien Ben like it’s nothing. This guy should take on Vilgax.

Did he say nib libs?

My boi’s back!

I’m not liking this Six...very much not the character I’ve come to love. Who are you and what have you done with the real Six!

Lol, gotta make sure the kids at home know these aren’t real guns!

Using a net on one kid, and about to beat the crap out of the other, nice.

I do have to ask why Hex was picked to me the main villain, beyond whatever the hell Providence is doing. Why the magic dude and not a tech based villain? Someone who could be both interested in the watch and nanites.

What a covenant spell you have there, Hex.

Again, why do you want to take over the world?

“No, those are my aliens!” I think that’s the least of your concern there, Ben.

Bobo 1, Hex 0

Why is Bobo one of the best-written character’s here? Not that I hate Bobo, but just…

Lol, Rex did you just lay there, the entire time? What was that net made out of?

Ah, right. Let’s attack the children rather the magical manic who clearly stated he wanted to rule the world.

Those nets are fireproof apparently.

Ooof, ah….quite the sore spot there, Ben.

Just let me hug Rex, please…

Are there EVOs are are there not!?

I know this is supposed to connect with older fans, but most of this info would fly over the head of anyone who hasn’t watched Generator Rex. They act like everyone knows what EVOs and nanites are.

Still with the blame game are we, Ben?

Judging by that look, Rex’s parents are also dead in this world. Guess he’s not allowed nice things in this universe either.

That flashback was….so latching in the dramatic department.

Now ya wanna help, Ben.

He’s so scared of himself, noooo!

Ya, but the different between you and him, Ben, is that he lost his parents, his home, got mutated, his memories became hazy, got locked up and called a monster, and now lives on the streets stealing smores. I think Rex has more of a reason to feel scared at being new with the hero business.

Bobo gets it.

Gotta love they added details on Gwen and Max’s alien forms to make them stick out from the rest. Don’t want to confuse anyone lol.

Thinking of a clever comeback on the spot is hard, not gonna lie.

Yes, Ben, drown him.

Again, with the American music, lol. It ruins the fight scene here.

What is this fight scene?

Original Providence agents would have died on screen rather than ditching the fight.

God, everyone’s made Rex feel like everything is his fault, poor guy.

Rock 1, Ben 0

This message and heartfelt moment falls flat, the build-up wasn’t there and it just...kind of happens. It lacks a lot of flavour and impact, and it doesn’t help with how most of these characters are written.

Old people jokes.

Now we shift the blame to Kevin.

Is Fourarms Gwen bigger? Because if so, nice touch, since we know female Tetramands are stronger/bigger than the men.

Ok, so attempted murder is fine when Six and Ben try to do it, but not Rex, got it.

Get in line Hex, you’re not the first who wants to ‘recruit’ Rex. You’ve got Providence, Van Kleiss, Quarry, Black Knight, that one band, and so on so fourth.

Why is this heartfelt moment suddenly happening now? This feels like it could have been placed back when Rex refused to fix the watch.

Ben…”I’ve already tried that!” Bruh, you tried beating him up, telling Six and Providence you saw him, basically acted like he wasn’t a good hero because he refuses to get over his trauma, and reached out your hand once because it benefited you....I get what they’re trying to do, but it just makes Ben look like a jerk. I get he’s ten, but still…

Just...slap him Bobo, please…

Why are we so nervous about Rex’s sword? Ben you have aliens that can burn, cut, smash and so on, and you barely care what you do. Remember how you nearly started that forest fire at the start?...

Yo, what!? What kind of logic is that, Providence? “Whelp, guess earth is screwed, might as well burn it”

Ya, remember that time when EVOs infected the whole world, and Providence decided to just burn everything down with lasers?

Extendo blade.

Huh, so Six’s blades can break down Rex’s builds.

Salamander...don’t you mean...Skalamander?

One ship? What is Providence packing!?

Yasss, Punk Busters!

Rex is crying, how dare you!

Now we got Smack Hands, you’re in for it, Hex!

Ooooooooooooooonnnnn iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttt!

Ah yes, the sixth most beautiful man on the planet.

Again...what is with the nuking?

Magical cloth fixing, just what I need.

Pure chaos with my boy.

Cracking his neck made me cringe.

Also why the sudden change in heart, Six? This feels out of character for the character who is out of character.

Look, Rex, you’re either gonna fix the watch, or you’re gonna start the self destruct countdown. Everything is going to hell, so might as well take that 50/50.

And it worked!

Ah ya, about that missile.

See’s missile inbound “I can handle it!”

Iron Giant vibes around here.

Screw ruling the world, I’m gonna murder this one child!

My cat’s the same.

REX, DID YOU JUST KICK A MISSILE!?

So that’s his full name?

I think you need to work on those vacation days with your boss, Six.

You are not Six, I will never accept you.

So the episode starts with Rex being alone, homeless and being chased by Providence, and ends with him being alone, homeless and being chased by Providence. What was the improvement here? Self Confident?

Ben even just lets him go, doesn’t even offer him to stay with his family.

Rex deserves better.

Another heartfelt moment that just...falls flat…

“Always be family and be there for you, Ben” Until you go to college without telling him before hand

So!...That was the crossover. Not...amazing sadly. I didn’t have high hopes to begin with, and mostly was just happy enough to have Gen Rex be acknowledged. But this Crossover missed a lot of points, and fumbles quite a bit. It reminds me a lot of the Secret Saturdays Crossover and what was wrong there. But I’m tired and will do a break down/proper review another day, if people are keen for that. Thanks for reading this if you did, it was a rollercoster!

#Interesting to analyze #But I am still disappointed #Welp time for fanfictions and fanart to save the day!#Generator Rex #Gen Rex #GR #Ben Gen 10 #Ben 10 #Ben 10 reboot #Ben 10 Generator Rex #Ben Tennyson #Rex Salazar

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chandelier-s-notebook · 3 years

Text

Doodlewash April 2021 prompt 18: Dragon

I made another AU. Because I don’t have enough of those I guess.

Also. I don’t really know how I feel about the pacing of this, and there is so much telling. It’s just a first draft, I need to sleep on it before I like it, but I don’t have time to do that. So while it’s fresh off the line, please enjoy this fic.

If anyone wants to be part of a taglist of this Dragon Rider AU, feel free to message me/send an ask/or mention it in reblogs.

--------------------------

This was the best school fieldtrip ever. Ridiara Prep had taken its students to the Premier League Juniors’ Dragon Racing Finals.

The day’s races were not only for national championship spots, but it was also a school day – which meant that huge swaths of the stands were reserved for half price student tickets.

The Manbri National Junior’s Dragon Race Eventing had space for four jockeys from each of the sixteen districts. Even before the Finals the people of The Yaston District knew that two slots would to go Number 35 and Number 13, or as their names, Technoblade and Dream. It was just a toss up to see who slots three and four would go to.

Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo sat in a cluster about as far away from the action as you could get. Not my choice, no they’d much rather be pressed against the rails, leaning over the edge watching the events unfold. Unfortunately, the seats provided by Ridiara Prep where all the way in the back corner. And if they were going to be confined to the back-most section, then these boys were going to sit all the way in the back and be petty.

The air in the stadium was electric as school started pouring in from all over Yaston.

Tommy was a bored kind of excited. The kind where you sit still and do other things while the anticipation builds internally. The kind where you know what to expect, but the energy and the thrill gets you going.

Tubbo was to bouncy type of excited. The kind where you can’t stay still and can’t help but look around at everything. The kind where you absorb the energy of everyone else in the room and let it out with your movement.

Ranboo was the talkative kind of excited. The kind where you can’t contain yourself; where you ramble on and on about the things on your mind. The kind where you know that you might be annoying everyone around you, but you don’t care.

At 10:50am the first fleet of four racers came onto the course. The crowd screamed. The racers flew their dragons into the cages. At 11am the jumbotron screen showed the gates fall down and the cages lower below the course as the jockeys shoot forward.

The dragons weaved around each other and the course. Six laps around, the first two to cross the finishing line on the last lap would move onto the next round.

The course had a simple winding fight path with straight-aways, sharp turns, and more rounded ones. There was also a lower and upper flight limit, the dragons could overtake each other by going around or over or under, but you had to catch up first.

There were sixteen racers in the Finals, which meant seven races over the course of the day. Technoblade and Dream were on opposite sides of the tournament bracket so it would be in the afternoon when they faced off – if neither of them choked on their way to qualification for the Nationals placement flight.

The crowd had just as much energy at the end of the day as the beginning. The Nationals team was going to be Number 35, Technoblade; Number 13, Dream; Number 54, Punz; and Number 3, Puffy. The final race of the day was simply to put them in the tournament brackets.

Ranboo and Tubbo were Technoblade fanboys. They were screaming for their favourite to win. Tommy was just as excited, but it was infinitely less obvious. He just didn’t express his joy, but he did have on a dopy smile the whole time, and his eyes narrowed when anyone overtook Technoblade.

The thing about the Juniors’ League was that it was the lowest age category with the over sixteen rules. And honestly the only difference between above sixteen and below sixteen was the saddle. Those under sixteen raced with a saddle, while those over had foot stapes attached to a harness wrapped where the saddle would sit on the dragons. Don’t worry, it wasn’t a hard shift when kid turned sixteen, they could start practicing with foot stapes at twelve, but racing rules changed at sixteen.

Techno had his reigns held tightly in his hands. Held perfectly so when his dragon pulled forward, he could lean back comfortably. So when he did turns he could shift is body weight easily from foot to foot. Techno’s hair had been braided and curled into a bun at the base of his skull, his roots where very brown as he hadn’t had the time to dye it back pink recently.

Unlike Techno, Puffy was leaned all the way forward. She held the reigns much closer to the bit and saw hunched over close to her dragon’s neck. She was concentrated and gave a little shout whenever she passed someone. Whether she was falling behind or pulling forward.

Dream was much the same as Techno, but his blond hair was cut pretty boy short. He held himself with confidence and seemed to be outwardly enjoying himself while staying super competitive.

Punz was leaned forwards as well. He pretty much stayed super competitive the whole time. He trades spots with the rest of them a few times. None of the four was ever clearly ahead.

In the end, the standing where: Techno, Puffy, Dream, Punz. The crowd blew up when they realized that Puffy got second, she was a fan favourite and it was always an event when either Dream or Techno were knocked down a placement. And neither where salty about it, so no one gave a shit. They gave cheers.

Then it was time to leave. There were only so many so many school busses and Ridiara Prep hadn’t managed to book the first wave, or the second, they were on the third wave of busses. So they had a lot of time to kill. And after the second wave of students left, the teachers let the kids run free.

Tommy had a plan. He was going to sneak into the dragon stalls and see the racers. Tubbo was all for this plan. Ranboo wasn’t.

But Ranboo did give in, in the end.

The three of them whispered to each other as they ran around and tried to find what they were looking for. And they did, Tubbo had found a map and they slipped past security. Of course once they were inside the dragon stables Ranboo warmed up to the idea.

“Can we go find Carl?”

“Carl? Technoblade’s dragon?” Tubbo asked. “Oh my god we could go find Technoblade’s dragon. Let’s go find him.”

“Come on!” Tommy bolted. “Let’s go find the red dragon.”

“Carl’s scarlet.”

“Fanboy much Ranboo.”

“Shut up Tommy.”

The three kids looked at every dragon they passed and named which racer they belonged to. They finally reached Carl’s stall.

Ranboo put his hand up for the dragon to sniff. Carl came closer and bonked Ranboo’s hand with his snout. Then Tubbo did the same. Tommy was keeping watch while the other two interacted with Technoblade’s dragon.

“Hey!” a voice called. “I don’t think you kids should be here.”

“Is that Dream?” Tubbo whispered.

“Yes,” Tommy whispered back. “Hey big man!” Tommy shouted to the third place winner. “I’m allowed to be here.”

“You are?” Dream humored him. “What about your friends? Are they allowed to be here?”

Tommy pointed to Tubbo, “He has plus one privileges, not sure about that guy though.”

Ranboo snorted. “Thanks man.”

Dream walked up behind them. “You kids should leave. Just go and I won’t call security. Also, Techno really doesn’t like people messing with his dragon.”

“It’s fine,” Tommy dismissed. “Carl loves me. Don’t you boy?”

Dream shot Tommy a strange look. Then there was thumbing from Carl’s stall, like he was waving his tail and there wasn’t enough space. Dream glanced at Carl. “Huh.”

“See?” Tommy in all his bravado put his hand through the bars on the door into the stall. Carl started rubbing his snout on Tommy’s palm. “We’re good man.”

“I will call security.”

“Do that.”

“Don’t do that.” Ranboo grabbed Tommy and started pulling him away. “We’ll be on our way. Sorry for breaking and entering.”

“Ranboo!” Tubbo scolded. “Don’t make it seem worse than it is. We didn’t break anything.”

“I believe you.”

“Good.”

“Tommy. Come on. We should really get back to the class.”

“Why? I’m just going home?”

“Yeah?” Tommy continued to shrug off Ranboo and play with Carl. “Who’s a good boy?”

Dream smiled softly at the exasperated and apologetic looks Tubbo and Ranboo were sending him. “I’m very sure that Technoblade doesn’t like when people mess with Carl.”

Tommy waved his free hand. “I’m not messing with him.”

“Messing with who?”

And that was went Tubbo and Ranboo froze. On the one hand; Technoblade, they were messing with his dragon and should apologize and dip. On the other hand; Technoblade, must fanboy.

Dream gestured to Tommy petting Carl with no regard for his safety.

“And?”

“And?” Dream gestured more expressively. “Kid petting your dragon?”

“And?”

“You don’t let me do that?”

Tommy turned around to stick his tongue out at Dream.

“You aren’t the kid?”

“But why can the kid? I let you interact with Spirit!”

“Carl’s not Spirit.”

“Obviously.”

“Techno can I ride with you home? I don’t want to take the bus.”

“Yeah sure,” Techno said without a first thought. “My dragon. I make the rules.”

“Did you just?”

Techno turned to the sound. “And you are?” he asked Tubbo.

“Uhm.”

“That’s Tubbo.”

“This is Tubbo?”

“Yeah. But of a bitch isn’t he?”

“No?”

“Other guy is Ranboo. My other friend.”

“Right.” Techno turned back to Tommy. “They coming over for dinner?”

“Can they? Will we all fit on Carl?”

“No. But I brought Andrew. He could probably fit all three of you. You’re all tiny.”

“Well Technoblade.” Tommy’s voice took on a bratty quality. “We’re only fourteen, that’s not super small Mr. nineteen.”

“Do you want to ride Andrew home or would you rather crawl back into the hole you came from and take the school bus on?” Techno deadpanned.

“Andrew.”

“Cool. Let’s go get him.” Techno kept walking down the corridor to Andrew’s stall a little further down.

“What just happened?” Ranboo asked, still processing a few sentences behind.

“Technoblade’s my older brother.”

“Wilbur’s your older brother,” Tubbo corrected.

“Wilbur has a twin.”

“Huh?”

“Come on. Let’s go. We get to ride Andrew home. I’ll drive, you two and just sit tight.” Tommy took both of his friends’ hands; he knew they wouldn’t be walking on their own for a few minutes more.

The racers were all tacking up their dragons for the return journey and the busses had yet to come for the third wave of school children. Tubbo and Ranboo settled themselves into Andrew’s saddle ina daze while Tommy strapped his feet in.

Dream was still following, pestering Techno about his little brother.

“Hey Toms. Do a few loops around the track while you wait for me.”

“Yessir!”

And they were off.

Tommy waved to the teacher before flying off into the skyways behind Techno. Just letting him know not to wait up for the three boys.

#TommyInnit #Tubbo #Ranboo #Technoblade #Dreamwastaken #Captain Puffy #Punz #Dragon Rider AU #DoodlewashApril2021

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night-unfurls-its-splendour · 4 years

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The Critique of Manners, Part II

~Or~

A Candid Review of ITV's Emma (1997)

Disclaimer: I do know that both this and the Miramax version were released in 1996, but to avoid confusion, I refer to this one as the “1997 Emma” in reference to the US release date.

The bones of this review were written some six years ago after my initial viewing. I’ve watched it three or four times since then, two very recently (Within the past year). I’d started to soften on it in the most recent watch. So many people love it so much I thought surely maybe I’m just crazy or even wrong; until I found this blog post from 2008 (a year before my favorite version was released) that hit on almost EVERY SINGLE thing that skeeved me out about this version when I first watched it.

Like my previous review of Emma. (2020), I’ll be covering the cast and overall handling of the script in comparison with what I know from reading the book. I will also be commenting on my thoughts about the costumes (Whether they are attractive or accurate, or both, or neither) which will be a bit more in depth than it was for the 2020 version, and this will set a pattern for the costumes section going forward.

Directed by Diarmuid Lawrence with screenwriting by Andrew Davies (Or should I say “Written by Andrew Davies with direction by Diarmuid Lawrence”?), this version was a fan-favorite among Janeites for many years for … well, reasons I’ve never been entirely certain of. I’ve read the book twice through and referenced pertinent passages MANY times besides, and really I don’t see what they’re raving about.

Let’s dive in.

Cast & Characterization

I’d known about this adaptation for a while, but I held off on watching it, largely for one reason: my apprehension about Mark Strong playing Mr. Knightley.

I was concerned because when I watched this I had already seen Mark Strong as Sir John Conroy in The Young Victoria and as Lord Blackwood in Sherlock Holmes, both very unpleasant characters. But there have been several occasions when I expressed displeasure with casting choices only to eat my words when I actually watched the movie. So I entered into watching this with an optimistic outlook, sure that Mark and Kate would surprise me with brilliant performances. And I would like to say that they did, but that would be an untruth.

My biggest fear about Mark Strong playing Mr. Knightley was that his rebuking of Emma was going to be a watered down version of ‘RAAAWWWRRR’ that I was familiar with, specifically because of The Young Victoria. It’s very hard for me to see Mark Strong point his finger in Emily Blunt’s face and shout at her, and then watch him do the same thing with Kate Beckinsale (only somewhat less aggressively) and expect to feel all warm and fuzzy about their romance. I expected that to be a tall order. And it was. Whenever he raises his voice, the right side of his face pulls up into a snarl. Now since it does this no matter what role he’s playing I’m guessing that’s just how his face is. It’s not his fault really and it’s almost certainly unintentional, but I’ve seen that snarl before and it does NOT belong on Mr. Knightley’s face.

Don’t ever think I don’t LOVE Kate Beckinsale, and I don’t necessarily think that my problems with this interpretation of Emma are her fault; these things very rarely fall on the shoulders of the actual actors, but those of the screenwriters and directors who guide them. However – and I am aware that this might sound a bit harsh – I would say that at points, Kate Beckinsale’s performance in this movie (In my opinion) barely outstrips community theatre or even very good high school drama club level acting. It seems to me that there’s burden on her here to sound historical or period. This lends to this interpretation of Emma feeling at once both cold and childish (more on that later.)

Her best moments are when she runs into Jane as Jane is leaving Donwell and when she speaks with Robert Martin at the end of the film. I always like scenes where Emma tacitly apologizes to Mr. Martin, and her feeling when she invites him to Donwell is Kate’s finest moment in this movie.

I found Raymond Coulthard’s Frank Churchill insignificant at first, but on repeat viewings I really started to hate him. I don’t think Austen intended Frank’s caddishness (to use more modern vernacular I’d say he’s an utter “Douche”) to be quite this obvious on first glance. He’s a creep in this version and Raymond Coulthard is just not at all attractive to me, from his big nose to his little shark teeth.

Olivia Williams was a good, even great, Jane Fairfax, and in my opinion does a much better job of portraying Jane’s vexation than, say, Polly Walker did (more on that next time), while still quietly looking like she’d like to arm-bar Frank rather than take his vulgar teasing lying down.

She also has the distinction of being the only Jane Fairfax who’s singing REALLY blows Emma’s out of the water, and I like that all of the songs she sings are in languages other than English (primarily Italian I think?). This achieves the double whammy of showing how much more accomplished she is than Emma by emphasizing that not only does Jane sing and play better, but she knows languages too.

Samantha Morton is a superb actress whom I love and I was sort of appalled at how she looks in this movie. Is she dying of a wasting illness? She looks like a gust of wind will carry her away, although since she looked the same in the 1997 Jane Eyre (In which she played the title role under similarly appalling direction) perhaps that was just her look that year?

Dominic Rowan, as Mr. Elton, is… there’s a perfect word to describe it and I just can’t think of it right now. Like every other young man in this movie (other than Robert Martin) he’s got this feeling of skeeviness to me but it’s more than that. It’s a dweebie-ness as well. This is so dissatisfactory to me because Mr. Elton is supposed to have every appearance of charm and agreeableness, with his only obvious fault being his over-eagerness to ingratiate himself to Emma and some rather vulgar locker-room type talk about marrying for fortune. He’s just so… (I’ve hit upon it now after some discussion with my sister) dingy. He looks less like a “very handsome young man” who “knows the value of a good income” and more like the kind of guy that scrubs up okay, but still you can tell from the rumple of his clothes and the pizzaroni odor wafting from him that he lives in his mom’s basement.

The shining star for me in this production was Alistair Petrie as Robert Martin. I love him as an actor and especially after watching him in Cranford, I think he was an excellent choice for Harriet’s Mr. Martin.

Davies wrote the character to be a little more romantic (Actually buying Anne Radcliffe’s The Romance of the Forest, where originally Mr. Martin was supposed to forget to – something Emma uses as a mark against him to prove how he will age into an “gross vulgar old farmer” who is “obsessed with profit and loss”.)

I especially like an inserted scene where Mr. Martin, working in his field, sees a distressed Jane Fairfax from afar as she is walking home (I think from Donwell). I thought it drew an interesting parallel between two emotionally wronged characters that otherwise would have no interaction.

What’s with Mrs. Elton (Lucy Robinson)? I don’t think nearly enough people question this. I’ve seen it explained away as her being from Bristol and trying to make herself sound more hoity-toity to hide the fact that she’s New Money. I’m not positive on what a Bristol accent sounds like (For that is where Augusta Hawkins is from) but… this sounds like an American trying to sound posh. At some points she almost sounds Texan. It’s all very confusing, because the actress is British.

Prunella Scales lists among her achievements being an outstanding actress and comedienne, as well as bringing into the world Samuel West, one of my all time favourite British screen crushes. She's probably best known for her work on Fawlty Towers, so its interesting to see her range as much less inscrutable Miss Bates. Her performance is by the book, but so much more engaging than Constance Chapman's 1972 offering, although i find her perhaps a shade too placid. She lacks a certain nervousness that I associate with the character (for more information, see my previous review.)

As for Bernard Hepton as Mr. Woodhouse, I can only say I. Didn’t. Like. Him. I have every consciousness of this being a personal bias. I have seen him play too many insufferable characters in too many things to like him as Emma’s lovable if tiresome father. This isn’t a knock on him or his performance; his reaction to Mrs. Elton is some great subtle visual comedy, this is just a me thing.

Another one of the better characterizations, though a relatively small role, is John Knightley. Played by Guy Henry, he is shown to be a good father, and an “Gentleman-like man”, with just the right blend of good humor and caustic comments.

Sets & Surroundings

I’d never paid MUCH attention to or questioned the houses and interiors used for estates in Austen adaptations until the 2020 version of Emma used such ridiculously lavish houses for relatively provincial gentry it forced me to sit up and pay attention. I think the houses used in this version are mostly suitable.

The part of Donwell Abbey’s exterior is played by Sudeley Castle in Gloucestershire. The Key words for Donwell from the text are “rambling and irregular” and while perhaps not as big as the Former Claremont House (Which, it is believed, was Austen’s inspiration for Donwell Abbey) it definitely is a suitable architectural style and situation and furthermore, having been purchased in the 19th century by a glove manufacturer and having been up to that point left in a little bit of a state of disrepair, fits the “neglect of prospect” Austen describes as well. Its interiors are a cobble-work of the Great Hall at Broughton Castle (Oxfordshire), various rooms at Stanway House (Gloucestershire), and the Strawberry beds at Thame Park (Oxfordshire)

(Top, left – Sudeley Castle; Bottom left – Trafalgar Park; Right – Dorney Court)

Trafalgar Park in Wiltshire and its interiors (a minty sage-green drawing-room fitting in perfectly with the mint-chocolate – primarily chocolate – color palette of the production) played the role of the Woodhouse’s home, Hartfield. A typical Georgian style house in red brick, I believe is consistent with Austen’s description of a “well built, modern house”.

Dorney Court in Buckinghamshire was used for Randalls, Mr. Weston’s recently purchased estate. It’s a Tudor style red brick house and it looks pretty on the mark from the front facade, but I think it’s still too big for a “small estate” with only two guest rooms (Although there’s no panic about the snow in this version – perhaps because it’s already snowing when they set out.)

My biggest problem is the lighting of this movie. I understand natural lighting and I LOVE it when you can even it out – but it is so dark in the evening scenes that it adds to the colorlessness of an already colorless production.

Fashion

Oh Jenny Beavan. You are a well-respected costume designer with good reason. However, I know that most of these costumes are rentals, but why is every-fucking-thing in this movie a shade of brown, beige or green?

As you can see, a rich tapestry of brown and beige. And this isn’t selective. this is (just about) every day-wear outfit in the movie (barring repeats and a few exceptions that I’ll give mention to below.)

Emma’s outerwear is brought to you by Hershey’s Chocolate. Also I’m not certain but I think that her light brown redingote is the same one as Elinor’s in the 1995 Sense and Sensibility? If anyone can confirm, drop it in the comments.

Perhaps the evening wear will be more colorful?

Barely – Mrs. Weston in a brownish orange; Mrs. John Knightley in an orange-ish brown; Emma gets a dark blue? Or is that just the wintery glow from the window on a dark green velvet? Green (either so dark it’s almost black, or washed-out mint) appears to be the only color Emma is allowed to wear other than brown or ivory/white. Even her gown for the Crown Inn Ball (upper right) is an underwhelming and rather dingy ivory. The champagne number she wears for Christmas at Randalls is not only lack-lustre, but also sports what I’m now calling a “Bridgerton Bust” (where the Empire waist comes up too high, with the seam apparently resting across her bust rather than under it.)

The pink frock (seen properly only from the back) on Mrs. Weston is as close to real color as a main character gets in this production, and can be recognized as one of Jane Bennet’s dresses from the previous year’s Pride and Prejudice.

Even Jane Fairfax doesn’t get a break. Rather than putting her in Jane Fairfax Blue ™ (honestly, Jane Fairfax being costumed in blue is so consistent at this point Crayola should just name a crayon in her honor - this is gonna come back in future reviews) she gets a black-green evening number with no trim at all, and a succession of what the Ladies over at Frock Flicks like to call the “Dumpy Regency Little White Dress”, or drab gray-blues.

Some of the background dancers in the Crown Inn Ball scene get to wear pink! Why not put Harriet in a nice pink frock for this scene?! Why is this so difficult?!

Strawberry picking at Donwell is the only time main characters are consistently wearing identifiable colors that aren’t brown or green: Mrs. Weston in pink, Miss Bates in (oddly the most colorful dress of them all) a nice refreshing lavender blue; Jane gets grey/blue and Mrs. Elton, a pastel mint. Harriet is also given a little break in Mrs. Elton’s introduction scene in a (very) pastel blue frock, while Emma sports white (with a trademark green shawl.)

So how about the...

Similarly dull. I almost screamed for joy when I saw that Frank’s jacket was actually blue, and a vibrant blue at that. (The red is too close to brown, I’m sorry.)

So yes, in short the costumes, while perfectly technically accurate (I didn’t get a lot of caps of them but the trousers sufficiently tight, not that I care to look), are drab as a peahen.

As always I’ll outsource any dancing critique by linking Tea With Cassiane on YouTube, since I find her insights on the approach to dancing in Austen adaptations just fascinating and I would like to share such witty and informed reviews.

The Andrew Davies of it All…

*Strong Opinions Ahead*

There are so many reasons why this adaptation isn’t for me. First of all the very idea of making Emma, one of Austen’s most socially complex works (certainly her most vivid) into a sparse 107 minutes is baffling to me. Perhaps I can understand if it’s a Theatrical release but this is a TV production. Why not at least make it a two part special?

And besides the issue that, in order to make this fit the time frame, the story is severely truncated, there’s… the Andrew Davies of it all.

I have some issues with Andrew Davies’ screenwriting for this adaptation particularly. A LOT of issues. Where does one start? I think Knightley is a good place.

It’s not just the casting I don’t like here; but it does say something to me that they chose Mark Strong for this role. It’s a casting decision I discovered with disbelief when I first saw clips from this version in a Period Drama men compilation video on YouTube. I mentioned above that I know Mark Strong as unpleasant characters with man-handling habits. That’s the kind of role Mark Strong is associated with because that’s just what he does well. And I think this played into the casting here, because Davies’ interpretation of Knightley is a bit… fierce. He shouts SO MUCH in this movie and in scenes like the Harriet Smith debacle (where Mr. Knightley of the book even gets a bit angry with Emma) I can understand this, perhaps. But in the book Mr. Knightley takes many pauses to collect and calm himself, because his goal is not to quarrel with Emma but to argue a point. 97 Knightley takes no such pauses and spends the whole scene in what some might call an escalating rage.

Knightley’s cheerful arrival to Hartfield to tell Emma that Robert Martin intended to propose to Harriet is cut out so we start right off with his indignant exclamation of “She refused him?!” and it’s all go from there. To make matters worse, Emma’s own arguments are crippled by Davies’ editing. Many of her more (what might even latterly be considered “feminist”) arguments are cut out. In fact once Knightley gets going, he juggernauts his way through all of his rebukes and speeches from the book, but Emma hardly gets a word in edgewise after arguing that Robert Martin is not Harriet’s equal. What Austen wrote as a heated debate is turned by Davies into a one-sided tirade. (By don’t take my word for it, watch the clip.)

The final cherry on top is having Emma, after Knightley leaves the room with the last word firmly in his grasp, childishly pout “You are wrong Mr. Knightley, and you will see you are wrong and then you will be sorry.” I half expected her to cross her arms and stomp her foot. Worth noting is the fact that Davies adds an additional “It was badly done. Emma,” in this scene where there was none in the book. Rather overkill to my mind. Is this his catchphrase?

At Box Hill, Davies has Knightley begin his climactic rebuke of Emma’s insulting behavior by grabbing her arm and hauling her aside, and concludes by leading her, still holding her arm, to the carriage. Well at least he doesn’t shout at her in this scene; but again, all but one of Emma’s responses are cut out and she stands there, pouting until Mr. Knightley leaves and then she bursts into tears.

When Mr. Knightly proposes to Emma I was feeling good about this scene, until he dropped the “I held you when you were three weeks old” line, and I immediately felt uncomfortable. Maybe you DON’T want mention how you held her when she was a baby after you asked her to MARRY you. But perhaps worse is Emma’s response to the line: “Do you like me as well now as you did then?”

Bringing up holding Emma when she was three weeks old at the proposal (A line which was not in the book) is bad enough but there seems to be a peculiar repeated emphasis on Knightley recalling Emma as a baby. He dragged it up previously when he and Emma make up after the Harriet debacle, as he holds John and Isabella’s baby daughter (whose name, I would mention, is Emma.) In this instance too, the line is a Davies addition.

Let’s talk about Knightley’s strawberry line.

This is delivered in voice-over as a transition to the strawberry picking party at Donwell, and is portrayed as a formal invitation: “Mr. Knightley invites you to taste his strawberries, which are ripening fast.”

At first I was confident that I was reading too much into this (but I think at this point I can safely say that I’m not). I can’t help bursting out laughing every time I hear that line. It was a questionable way to word that if you ask me, especially considering that this is (once again) NOT the line in the book, and it was NOT a formal invitation. It was said to Mrs. Elton and intended to be a joke.

“You had better explore Donwell then,” replied Mr. Knightly “That may be done without horses. Come and eat the strawberries; they’re ripening fast.”

‘ If Mr. Knightly did not begin seriously, he was obliged to proceed so...’

And here I thought Janeites hated adaptations that cut out “Miss Austen’s biting wit.”

To top it all off, we have Frank Churchill (Who I have already pointed out is a bit of a creep in this adaptation and even more detestable than he already was as Austen wrote him) praising Jane: this would be fine, if he wasn’t drooling into Emma’s ear about the turn of Jane’s throat, (He actually utters this line)

and how fine his dead aunt’s jewels will look against her skin. May I just be the first to say “Ehewhegaugh”.

I juxtapose this with the book where Frank's lines are almost exactly as Davies renders them, except Jane Austen never wrote the "have you ever seen such a skin?" Line. The difference i have highlighted in bold:

"... She is a complete angel. Look at her. Is she not an angel in every gesture? Observe the turn of her throat. Observe her eyes as she looks up at my father. --- You will be glad to hear that my uncle intends to give her all my aunt's jewels. They are to be new set. I am resolved to have some in an ornament for the head. Will it not be beautiful in her dark hair?"

Because talking about how pretty your fiancee's hair is, is normal and marginally less creepy than talking about what a fine skin she has or how lovely your (i cannot stress this part enough) dead aunt's jewels will look against it. Davies' script also makes no mention of having them reset, which makes me think he’s talking about the actual necklaces and bracelets Mrs. Churchill would have worn.

But hey, maybe its just a me thing.

Harriet Smith’s story suffers, primarily, I can with some candor admit, due to the time constraints. After Mr. Elton is married, we never see Harriet in any distress. It’s almost as though she’s forgotten all about it! Emma never has to appeal to her to exert herself or to move on. Perhaps this is better than Doran Godwin’s Emma gaslighting Harriet and manipulating her by constantly chastising her for… well general heartbreak (but that’s a bugaboo for a different review.)

My last complaint of note is that ludicrous harvest feast at the end of the movie. The whole concept of this scene just does not seem at all Janely to me. I was under the impression that I was meant to be watching an Austen. Not some bullshit Thomas Hardy knock-off. This is another Davies touch and I hate it more on the principal that it is one of his numerous, obsessive tweaks made solely to point out the existence of the lower classes.

If Davies wanted to show Mr. Knightley’s being an attentive landlord and gentleman farmer then I don’t see why he couldn’t just show Knightley actually running his farm?

“Okay’, you might say, “but I think the highlighting of the servants is to show how good Knightley is by treating them like real people compared to everyone else”, and I hear you. And in the situations where that is the case, like him greeting the Woodhouse’s butler and asking after his family I think that’s totally fine and in character. But things like the servants moving the knee cushions every time someone moves down the line at strawberry picking, to me, is AS ridiculous as the “servants clipping the lawn on their hands and knees with tiny scissors” trope. Like we get it, people took the lower classes for granted, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that it would be easier and more realistic to have Mrs. Elton have to move her own knee cushion. I don’t think Knightley would instruct his servants, who he treats so well, to do that kind of thing, but you could write in Mrs. Elton’s expectation of it if you wanted. It seems like the kind of thing she would expect the landed gentry to do.

Screenwriter for some of the best loved Austen’s (including the sacrosanct 1995 P&P Mini-series and my favorite Sense & Sensibility), I thought of Davies for years as untouchable; until Sanditon happened and left everyone who knows anything about Jane Austen really wondering where this mess came from. I put it to you now that it was there in Davies all along.

Davies admitted, when talking about the drastic “Sexing Up” he did in Sanditon that he felt Austen’s works could have done with a bit more sex appeal. I can hardly disagree and additions like Darcy’s little swim in the pond and Edward Ferrars’ angsty wood-chopping are welcome and beloved. But it seems that what he really wanted all along was what he gave us in Sanditon; and finally, without actual source material to stand in his way, he had a chance let his dirty old man show and gave “Austen” the sexing up he thought it needed.

And it gets more troubling as you look back.

In my opening paragraph to this review I mentioned a 2008 blog post that not only agreed with me that there’s something very off about this screenplay, but gave me some possible insights as to why. It points out numerous things that I have always questioned in this version but have never seen anyone else criticize (though I am informed that more recently it has gained its’ share of critics). In fact the post itself actually points out that almost no one in the Austen Blog-sphere had (at that point) criticized this version’s faults in any meaningful way, but my favorite thing about it is that it points out what you find in Davies’ screenplay if you pay careful attention to it “Rather than sitting there and cataloguing what is “technically faithful and whatnot”.

Many Austen bloggers have kind of been playing Miss Taylor to Davies’ Emma for some two decades and change.

The most troubling thing of all is Davies own comments on Mr. Knightley (and other things, more inferred in his screen play). All of the aspects of this interpretation of Knightley that I mentioned earlier seem to stem from the fact that, as quoted in Sarah Caldwell’s book on his works, Davies thinks there’s “Something odd going on with Knightley.”

Davies clearly reads foul, or at least questionable, intentions in Mr. Knightley but I find it interesting that, rather than cutting out material he may have found troubling about Knightley in the book out of his screenplay, he doubled down by adding MORE troubling lines and situations (that were never in the book at all, and imagined solely by himself) in a romantic story with a happy ending.

Perhaps there’s not so much something odd going on with Knightley, Mr. Davies, but with you.

Final Thoughts

At this point I might ask what it is that everyone sees in this version that makes them think it’s so perfect, but that would be a bit pointless since all I’ve read since I discovered this version is people on elaborating on just that and I don’t care to hear much more.

“The lines are verbatim!” textually, perhaps, but it’s the ones that added that trouble me.

“The leads have so much chemistry!” I’m glad you think so, but I can’t find it.

“The costumes are damn near perfect!” And brown. So, so very brown.

As a 90's TV period drama, this version is pretty standard. It sticks to the book (except in those places where the screenwriter saw fit to dabble with some subtle but troubling suggestions about the characters.) And if it floats your boat, as always I'm glad it gives you what you want from the story.

I know I hold unpopular opinions on Jane Austen adaptations, and perhaps this is one of them, but every time I watch this version I feel the need to read the book as a cleanse. Perhaps Davies’s ferocious Knightley was simply a pendulum swing reaction to Douglas McGrath’s almost too laid back interpretation in the Miramax film from earlier in 1996, but even if that’s the case it’s just uncalled for and is my biggest turn off for this film.

Tone: 3

Ribbon Rating: Badly Done! (40 Ribbons)

Casting: 5

Acting: 6

Scripting: 4

Pacing: 2

Cinematography: 4

Setting: 3

Costumes: 5

Music: 2

Book Accuracy: 6

#jane austen #jane austen emma #costume drama #regency #period drama #emma 1996

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