#can’t Possibly be painful

[void-tiger]

What do I want? I want to be seen as a peer.

[vvienne]

I literally woke up in the middle of the night like God will dark rise is so fucking screwed. The line that’s like. “Everyone wanted to kill the Dark King.” What’s the part where he looks at Violet helplessly, haunted, almost pleading for mercy? But of course he reveals nothing of substance to anyone. Elizabeth is too young to understand but the reader knows what “Her relationship with that boy was…unnatural” can mean. Tying him to bedposts? Failing to strangle him? What else? Never not even once seeing beyond a mythological identity Will himself didn’t know he had? What did he think was the reason? That he was just intrinsically hateful? Of course he says nothing. Of course Violet can’t trust him- he’s given her nothing as painfully real as what she’s given him. So he gives her the sword hoping at least he can die at the hands of someone he loved, but even that doesn’t work out - she gives the sword to a Visander still furious at SARCEAN. The pattern continues; no one looks at Will, who vomits when he realizes what’s happened to James, Will who is much of a liar and killer and sneak as Elizabeth accuses but nonetheless wants to be different. Even when he doesn’t remember his own past. There’s no way out for him that doesn’t hurt. Hope this obsession passes soon given the one and a half years of waiting required for book 3

[ziracona]

I thought the ending to The Untamed was perfect.

I knew it would be different from the book, because of censorship. And I thought they couldn’t have done a better job.

You’ve got this story about a broken society with prejudices of class and sex and background, and how the way things are, you can’t be truly happy within the system. In the book, Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan leave the system together to get married, because they can’t stay within the cultivation world and be gay and live the same, and find happiness outside it. In the book, you get this lifetime of pining from Lan Zhan, and slow realization from Wei Wuxian, and a bond that goes through and overcomes death itself. And in the show, they give you as much of that as they can too. They have to make it subtext, but boy does every single actor hit that gay shit hard. Every single reaction shot to Wang Yibo is him carrying the gay subtext on his back like Atlas.

It’s absolutely still a love story about two men. One who fights to keep the other alive, and fails, then fights not to lose him again when gifted a miracle. The other, trying to do the right thing and being punished and demonized every step of the way, because right doesn’t coincide with ‘accepted.’ It’s often directly opposed.

But they aren’t allowed to make it canon. So they follow that thread. They can be in love, if they don’t say it. They can have the intense feelings, if an audience can pretend they’re friends. But they can’t get together. So they don’t. They go ‘if they can’t, then what happens?’ and they don’t give you the emotional out of letting them go off together as ‘friends’ so the audience can be happy, because that’s not a reading of the relationship. They aren’t friends; they’re in love. Because he’s not openly gay, Lan Zhan can be asked to run his sect, which means he has to stay. If he can’t choose to go with Wei Wuxian and run away, then Wei Wuxian is forced to return to his fate and be alone. It’s heartbreaking. But it’s supposed to be.

Denying an audience what they want is one of the most powerful tools media has. A whole story about fighting the entire world for a man you love as another man, 50 episodes, and then you don’t get to be happy together, because it’s being shown to a world that won’t allow that end.

Wei Wuxian is heartbroken. They go to part ways, and he tells Lan Zhan next time they meet, he better have a name for the song he wrote them. A song that has always been called Wangxian, or Wuji. A song that is literally the ship name, their names combined. Both in world and metatextully, he’s telling him to make a choice.

And they leave, and Wei Wuxian starts playing Wangxian on the flute. They’ve parted, and Lan Zhan stops because he can hear the song that’s literally written by him about loving Wei Wuxian and named after their ship, being played after him as a call of the life they could still choose to have. The call to run away together.

And it’s called not The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, but The Untamed, after that quote. “At best, you’re the untamed hero; At worst, you offend people wherever you go.” - “Wei Wu Xian! Don’t you understand? When you’re standing on their side, you’re the bizarre genius, the miraculous hero, the force of the rebellion, the flower that blooms alone. But the second your voice differs from theirs, you’ve lost your mind, you’ve ignored morality, you’ve walked the crooked path.”

Because that’s what it’s about. It’s about the disconnect from society and right. Again and again. The way people are treated for their birth, their love, their affiliation. The fate of the Wen remnants who didn’t fight, Jin Guangyao’s entire reason for being there, all the broken relationships and tension, even the very reasons people hate Wei Wuxian and kill him the first time. And in the show, allowed to exist for the book’s overwhelming popularity and success, but not allowed the freedom of the book—only allowed in the closet, it seven more about that in regards to the core romance itself. It’s a deep, beautiful gay romance, not allowed to show a gay romance to their audience.

And so they lean into that. You can’t have ‘MDZS without the gay romance.’ It doesn’t exist. It wouldn’t be the same story. It’s a story about, and in every step and nuance, only possible because of, the romantic and sexual feelings of deep connection between two men. So the story is MDZS with the love, but you can’t show it. You can’t let it out of the shadows. You can’t let it be seen. And you can’t have the happy ending MDZS earns, without the freedom to love each other and live the life they want together, that makes it possible. — They can’t have them get married, so they make you see what a world where being gay and together isn’t allowed looks like for those characters, because that’s what this story is being forced by censorship to be. And it fucking sucks. It hurts. It’s agony and disappointment, after all this, that death can’t beat you but the world can.

But they have him call out to Lan Zhan to reconsider. To choose Wangxian over the end they have to have. And he does. And you see Wei Wuxian look overjoyed that he heard Wangxian and answered. But they never show the reverse shot. We hear Lan Zhan, but we can’t see him, because it’s not allowed. It’s censored. They literally don’t ‘show us’ him changing his mind, because they’re not allowed to, and they make a point of that. It cuts immediately to “We thank the author Mo Xiang Tang Xiu for bringing these characters to life.”

We thank the author for letting them truly live.

“May their wishes in the future come true.” May the system change. May the last frame be allowed.

[youngyoo-apologist]

If I ever met Cale I’d laugh in his face because my life is everything he wants his to be (I slack off and he doesn’t)

[maggi-cube]

What can you even say to this?

TWs for death, child death, blood, and things of that nature. I’m not sure what other tags would help

[bittersweetresilience]

for the ship ask game...

feligami 🦚🐉

HI SELKIE 💘💓💗 let’s go into my room and sit on my bed. i have snacks 🥰

What made you ship it?

i didn’t ship feligami until very recently, since i have strong feelings about arocoded félix, but while i was making amvs i saw how many times they held hands and my heart was swayed.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

i don’t ship it enough to have an answer for this question 🤣 get nina in here. nina has essays on essays about queerness and abuse recovery. i suppose my answer is the hand holding.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

i have strong feelings about this one too. they would not have kids ‼️ they would not get married ‼️ down with the nuclear family ‼️

(ship ask game)

[shirkers2018dirsanditan]

my luck is so bad it is legitimately just cruel. every day literally feels like i am being punished for every little decision i make. it’s almost hard to believe and yet somehow i’m too dumb to anticipate this…?

[thestormypetrelofcrime]

on week 3 of being too sick to work and I’m ready to mcfreakin lose it

somebody send cat pictures

[dingleshartbeaufoy]

Aro people is it normal to be genuinely platonically in love with someone or with multiple people like you just love them so so so so much so dearly but it’s in your own unique way and can best be described like “yeah I’m in love with them” but it isn’t romantic because you’re aro and also have a girlfriend but it’s just so so so so strong that the word platonic feels like it’s too simple for it. It’s not just “platonic” it’s like god I love you so fucking much you know .

[chrisevansdaughter]

Istg if my doctors say “we’ve got no appointments” at 8:30AM. WHEN IT OPENS. I think i might just go missing, because this pain is 👹👹👹👹 and I almost ended up in hospital it’s that bad I sat in the bath in water that was so hot it peeled off my nail polish.

I literally was on the phone to 111 praying and basically just saying whilst it was ringing “please be a women” “please be a women” it was a women and I couldn’t have been happier but if this doctor tomorrow just tells me to take more pain medication or “it’s probably just irritation” I will flip my shit, because this pelvic pain is pain that I’ve never ever experienced in my life and it’s not fun, I never cry in pain when I’m on my period or towards the end but i literally had a breakdown because I was and still am in so much pain

[aprilthebiqueen]

You would think I’d learned by now that just because I feel okay in the moment doesn’t mean I should keep going because I always pay for it later. Damn.

[yellowhollyhock]

2003 tmnt: is canonically so much excessive Donnie angst all the time, literally this child catches none breaks

Me: hmm yeah looks good love this concept. but what if there was more Donnie angst

[pose4photoml]

Appointment time~ kind of nervous !!!

[palms-upturned]

.

[candycryptids]

😓 nothin like 4 am shoe-rack-broke-and-dumped-everything-so-you’re-doing-quiet-as-possible-damage-control !

[jdah]

For some reason I want Suho to experience so much suffering that it nearly breaks him

We already know that his path is half-paved since he’s born with innate power (inherited from father) and the fact he got companions along the way - So even though he goes through hardship, he’ll constantly have the support he needs

But ngl I kinda wanna see (or just imagine) Suho going through a challenge so difficult that absolutely no one could pull him out from (that even his own father can only watch helplessly as his son gets carried by the waves of misfortune

that his precious son’s fate is destined to be the greatest sacrifice)

,,,,,,

I remember the discussion I had with a mutual — How there’s a charm in giving so much angst to a character for that sweet sweet relief of comfort (angst w/ happy ending) and it stuck w/ me 😭

I know it might not happen with SL:R but I can’t help imagine Suho reaching his breaking point - sacrificing his all for the sake of his companions/family and the only relief is a simple kiss that speaks “It’s okay, you’ll be okay, we’re here for you now”