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#can't walk for the rest of the day
nexus-nebulae · 6 months
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ghh
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fisheito · 8 months
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my princess nonsense is being encouraged watch ouyt imabout to be eneaabled
OK WHATF ATHAT'S SO CUTE I HAD TO MAKE IT i know realistically there's little to no chance that rei DOESN'T know how to work heels 🤣 BUT IMAGINE.....ING.... YAKUMO GENTLY GUIDING REI IN HEELS, WEEKS BEFORE THE BIG GALA AND HAVING NONE OF HIS NORMAL FEAR OF PHYSICAL TOUCH BC HIS [TEACHER MODE] IS OVERRIDING HIS INSECURITY
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#rei looking directly at the camera like why are you subjecting me to this. i do not need any of this. i know how to do it#rei wearing stilettos the size of your head so he becomes ur very tall bird goth gf#you know how yakumo gets when he instructs someone on how to cook something#he becomes confident and just tells ppl how to do stuff without his usual amount of stutter and secondguessing#i'm gonna pretend that after his stiletto training in misty vale he gains a TINY MOLECULE of confidence due to experience#like [i can help you if you've never done it before?]#honestly i can't imagine this scenario happening because i am so SURE that rei can walk in heels HAHAHA even tho nothing has proven that#SOMETHING COME PROVE ME WRONG SO MY DELUSIONS CAN SLIDE CLOSER TO POSSIBILITY#anyway even if rei didn't know how to wear heels#would he ever mention it? would yakumo ever learn of it?#rei would probably be all . i don't need to wear heels. they can't even see them under the dress. i'll wear my practical shoes#but if he can't get away with that and will be forced to wear heels at the party...#maybe he'll go [meh. i'll figure it out] and just not wear them until the day of the dance#at which point his feet will hurt after 20 minutes and for the whole night he takes any chance to sit down#rei can be frequently spotted on SOME surface SOMEWHERE in the palace. sitting all splayed out and uncaring of propriety#because he is in PAIN and these shoes are STUPID and why do people wear them for ANYTHING . Royals are so IMPRACTICAL#yakumo keeps trying to avoid heels for the dance because he doesn't want to be any taller than he already is#i bet there's a full convo about it between him and eiden#eiden trying to reassure him that if he wants to wear heels then he shouldn't let others' perception stop him from doing so#but if he genuinely doesn't want to wear them then that's ok too#eiden craning his neck up at yakumo in heels like you're my pretty princess 1-2 heads taller than me your height doesn't matter 🥰#i'm now torn. yakumo and rei both wearing heels now? in order to stay at similar heights?#or. rei starting out with heels. getting tired of them. going barefoot for the rest of the night lol#yakumo and rei still dancing in their ballgowns together but a much shorter rei leads a yakumo in heels#yes. yes this is the vision#yakurei#replies#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival rei
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anti-fairy-world · 2 months
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You know, while we don't think Stuck In My Head/Mind The Gap were bad episodes or anything, we kinda wish they'd been cut in favor of making that time the part one to The Battle of Big Wand, with the actually episode being part two. Make it a whole big forty to forty-five special instead of trying to fit it with a twenty-two to twenty-three minute run time
We actually like everything they were trying to do with the special, but we just wish they had more time to flesh things out and play around with the jokes between the plot moments. The writers probably didn't really have much of a choice with the time they were given to work with and had to prioritize where screen time was used, and honestly they did what they could, but sometimes it felt like 'and now this is happening so we can get moving with the plot'
#fop#a new wish#battle of the big wand#special spoilers#mostly in the tags really#anyways#it's wild that they would go out of their way to depict confetti day as being fatal for the fairies involved#show how *bad* it was for Peri in the moment#leaving him weak and physically sick and completely out of it#while still being so focused on Dev and prioritizing godkid over his own well being#and then just#*not* showing his recovery#having him be swept up in the rest of Wanda restoring Fairyworld and fine in the ending with no actual recovery moment on screen#the man was dying and his getting better moment was brushed offscreen#it's also weird that it took Peri seemingly weeks to get this bad (which makes sense if the buildup is something fatal this time around)#but then Cosmo and Wanda start spitting confetti and turning green after twenty minutes#when the big wand is Off- they arn't *getting* an influx of power right now#they can't even fly#if anything it's when the wand was turned that should be the moment Peri's condition turns critical#with the immediate next concern being making sure Peri doesn't Explode on them#make it a full circle moment where Dev walks up and makes a wish for a cupcake- but specifies the flavor this time#and then gets commercially buried in that cupcake#followed by Peri#having been so out of it he has *no* memory of the anti-fairy takeover or any idea why he's in Jorgen's office#but then he's happy to see Dev pop out of the cupcake pile#it'd really only need to be a couple minutes scene#but it's so weird to have so much screen time of this limited special dedicated to showing how bad Peri's condition is#and then just. not worry about his Not Dying Anymore moment
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softquietsteadylove · 2 months
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Can you do another spicy story with this AU but it's him tying her up instead. Like i need this to be SPICY like one of the spiciest, filthiest story you've ever made. I need the teasing, dirty talk, begging, maybe some overstimulation if you feel like it😅 Also I know being rough isn't Gilgamesh whole thing but I feel like for this Thena did something that set him off and brought something out of him maybe? I love you and all your work!
Thena keened as he tugged at the lace, making sure it was secure around her precious little wrists. He gave her backside a gentle pat. "Good, girl."
She whined faintly. Her teeth were dug into the plump of her lower lip, their fullness pushing against them.
"Easy," he growled, giving her a slightly firmer spank before moving around her. He hovered close, letting his eyes take in the exquisite feast that was his wife (to be). "Pink is a good colour on you, Princess."
She trembled before him, the pink he had just left on the round of her bum matching the pink in her cheeks now travelling down to her chest. Her breath heaved, forcing her breasts up and down in a hypnotising rhythm.
"And whose are you?"
"Yours," she gasped out as he rolled up his sleeves. He flexed his right hand, even slipped his engagement ring off. She eyed it as he approached her again.
"Good," he purred, holding up the ring. He toyed with it in his fingers a few times before pressing it to her lips. "Whose princess are you?"
"Yours," she panted, watching as he slipped his ring onto the other hand, freeing his right to be unburdened as he slipped it up her thigh.
"And whose," he paused, pressing his thumb at the right angle to open her just slightly. He ran his tongue over her, making her body tremor again. He held her other thigh steady, "is this?"
"All yours," she moaned as he pressed his tongue to her again. She wiggled against her binds, trying to press her hips to him. But he held her more solidly, commanding how far she was able to move and to what timing. "Please, Gil."
"Hm," he hummed directly against her clit. She made a positively guttural sound and he knew she had thrown her head back with pleasure. He let his tongue trace around the edges of her lips, testing out his territory. "Ask again."
"Please, baby, please," she whined, even trying to hook one of her legs around his shoulder, but he held her firmly. Her hips knocked against him.
"Ask nicely," he growled, even biting down on the firmness of her adductor longus (he needed anatomy knowledge for business, but pleasing his fiance was a pleasant bonus). He left reddish teeth marks, furthering the overall rouge of her pale skin sheened with sweat. He ran his palm over it, on his way to pushing two fingers into her, "like a good girl."
"Please, Tyrant King, please fuck me."
He buried his satisfaction in the crook of her thigh, right at the socket of her hip. He dragged his teeth over her soft skin there as he pumped his fingers mercilessly. Without his ring on, he could push up until his fingers met her pelvic bone.
"Gil!" Thena shrieked, but he kept moving. He had never gone so deep, so fast, so hard. He usually warmed her up more gently, even before they were joined. But he was powering on relentlessly. "Gil, Gil, fuck--it's too much!"
She came almost immediately, and he was pleased with the results. But he kept moving. He let his rhythm change slightly, pulling his fingers out just to his first knuckles each time. "Come on, Sweetness."
Her knees buckled but he held her up, still driving her towards her second orgasm in rapid succession.
"Fuck, Gil, I-I can't-!" She screamed again as she came a second time, her senses completely drowning in him. Her hips jerked as she squirted, her legs letting go of all semblance of strength.
He held her, not willing to let her fall to her knees no matter the agenda he had planned for them. Her whole body shook and her knees were twitching in a charming way. He rubbed her back as he helped her lean back against his desk. "Easy."
Thena panted, leaning as heavily as she could against her clasped fists between the desk edge and her bare back. Her lips attempted to form words, but all that happened were a series of kittenish sounds implying satisfaction.
Gil kept his chuckle to himself; he could relish in his ridiculous male pride later. He started at her ankle, pulling it up to rest it on his shoulder. "What a mess."
Thena gasped again, regaining her senses from the bottom up as he licked up the evidence of her bone-deep pleasure. "Gil?"
"It's okay, Princess," he whispered against her skin, trailing his tongue along her the way he would like a million dollar plate. He massaged the inside of her other thigh as he did. "I don't want to waste this."
Thena barely had the mind to breathe as he continued his journey up her thighs. He stopped just short of her core. Her hips quivered as he let himself puff a breath of warm air against her wetness. "M-More?"
"Is that a question?" he grinned against her skin, just below her bellybutton. He trailed his tongue over the scar leftover from when she'd had her procedure. She whined at him--she didn't like him paying it special attention. He gave her another light spank.
She yelped.
"Who's in control here," he rose from kneeling to look into her eyes again. She looked delirious, in a delicious kind of way. "Ice?"
"You are," she breathed, swaying on the spot as he moved closer. She let herself lean against him, her breasts finding refuge against his chest. She even tried to rise up onto her toes to kiss him. "You are."
If only it were always so easy.
He granted her a little kiss, although she tried to follow as he pulled back. "Ah-ah-ah, Ice--wait."
Her spine straightened at the command.
He undid the buttons of his shirt slowly, pulling it off with a sense of luxury he had denied her. She eyed him hungrily, some of his usual lionhearted Ice Queen emerging. He rolled his shoulders, showing off the tattoos covering his arms. She liked them.
She tried to move forward again, pulling faintly at her lace.
He undid his belt with a single hand, pulling it out and tossing it away with one motion. He inhaled as he pulled himself from his trousers. "This what you want?"
She nodded, still battling against remaining still and pulling forward.
He closed the distance, lessening her need to move in. He pressed her back towards the desk, even gripping her thigh to help her just high enough to lean back against it practically and comfortably. He dashed his eyes down between them.
The pink in her chest deepened, overtaking her like a rose blooming.
He kept his eyes focused as she obeyed his commands even without the words. She raised her leg further, showing her readiness to take him in. He held himself in position. "Good girl."
Thena moaned, literally dripping ready for him. "Please."
"Go on," he encouraged under his breath. He all but held still as she aligned them, trying to take in the head of him with only her hips to guide her. She whimpered as he finally slipped into her. "Good girl."
Thena moaned as she finally managed to slide him into her. She truly was wound up, her muscles undulating around him, at a loss after being teased so thoroughly.
"Move."
She met his eyes, although the lids of hers were heavy. Her pupils were blown, her eyes a dark, dark green. She started, as he asked, bouncing on his cock, pinned between him and a hard place.
"Good" he growled, moving back to whisper right in her ears. The closer angle let them move more easily. He kept his participation minimal, just enough for them to continue while she did the bulk of the work. "Just like that."
She whimpered, pulling at her binds again. "Gil, please."
He loved hearing that. He leaned forward. She used the friction of their naked fronts to appease her need to stimulate her breasts. He reached behind her, in a semblance of holding her like she liked, or even of undoing her restraints.
She let out another sound of pure pleasure as he yanked her back, exposing her to the open air again.
"Getting greedy, Ice," he chastised her before nipping at the shell of her ear. He left light but visible bite marks all along the delicate but brightly flushed part of her until he could trail down to her neck. He latched on there, pulling her thigh up higher until he could seat her on the desk. Only there could he truly complete his task. "Who's in control, here?"
"You are."
He pulled out of her completely, admiring how visibly she missed him, only to push in again in one clean stroke. They both shuddered. His throat clenched,
Thena hunched all the way forward, desperate to feel some part of him closer aside from just what connected them. "Gil!"
"That's it," he cooed as he started moving. This was a better angle. He let go of her high, locking her knee up around his arm as he gripped the edge of the desk. The heavy, bolted-to-the-floor desk, moaned from the pressure of their bodies writhing together.
Thena's gasps fluttered continually upward and outward. She moaned, higher and louder with every stroke. "Fuck, I'm gonna come again!"
That was certainly his goal. He wanted a mess of her. He wanted a complete feast of the woman he loved, piled on his desk like a cornucopia. He wanted to be able to lick up her melted remains off the varnished oak top.
"Fuck, please," she panted. She had unfurled her fists, angling her hands to hold her up against his pounding. Her buttocks were creating a mass around which their sweat and other fluids could collect in an incriminatingly round formation.
"Who do you come for?" he growled, determined to bring their current mood to its conclusion. He reached behind her again, tugging at the end of the lace around her wrists and pulling her back further. He eyed the enticing bounce of her breasts, offbeat from the slapping of their hips meeting.
"You, only you," she responded oh-so obediently. She was a fast learner, his Ice Queen. If she wanted to come, she would play his game. "It can only be you."
"Damn right," he snarled, pulling up on the edge of the desk until he heard the legs groaning in protest. He could hear - and see - the wetness running from between her legs and now over the edge of the desk. That vision would be with him for the rest of his life.
"Gil, Gil, oh fuck, right there, I-!" Thena stopped mid-sentence, if not mid-word. Her head went all the way back and her legs jerked up and in. Her toes splayed out and then curled in.
He threw himself against her, their hips creating the perfect crater for one another in their release. He could feel the mess they were making, and it was incredible. Only now did he let himself lean his weight down over her, their hearts beating wildly, but somehow alike. The weight of him helped her to stop shaking.
Thena's body was completely slick with sweat, now glowing, and tinged pink all over. Her usual pallor had given way, particularly from her chest upward. Some of her perfect blonde hair was even stuck to her cheeks in their heated tangle of bodies.
Gil grunted as he pulled himself from her. He was tired, and he couldn't imagine how she was feeling. He looked down as the evidence of them trailed after him and flowed freely from Thena. He reached for his suit jacket.
Thena flinched as he ran his handkerchief over her bare lips.
"Sorry," he whispered, being as gentle as he could knowing she was probably still on fire within her own nervous system.
Again, she tried to form words, but nothing came out.
Gil collected her into his arms, undoing her lace just as easily as he had tied it. Her arms hung limply by her sides as he pulled her against his chest. "Easy, Princess."
She mumbled something, but he couldn't make out what it was. He just patted her back, helping her off the desk so he could hold her properly. Her head was limp against his shoulder, as if she were barely conscious.
"Thena?" he cooed, hoping he hadn't taken it too far. He turned, carrying her to his office couch and pulling his shirt over her.
"Hm," she managed, just barely. But her completely dazed expression did feature a sated - and dare he say cute - little smile on her perfect lips.
"Nothing, sweetheart, I'll wake you later," he promised, pressing a gentle kiss to those lips as comfortably and freely as he would speak her name.
Thena seemed aware enough to accept the promise, snuggling against him as she gave in to her exhaustion.
Indeed, he would. He would let her rest, run a cool cloth over her body until she was refreshed, pull her dress back on for her. He would have her favourites delivered, and hand feed her, if that was what she wanted. They had both had their needs more than fulfilled, after all.
Although he had to admit, he liked being the one to tie her up this time. And despite his security in knowing that Thena had no interest in the new business associates all throwing themselves at her feet, begging and drooling like unfixed dogs, he liked asserting that fact. He liked hearing for himself that she was only his, that her body was only his as his was hers. And he liked having her beg for him, just a little bit.
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nightcigale · 11 months
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Knee surgery is taking longer than I expected to heal. I'm bored. I want to roll myself into a ball but can't bend the knee yet! It sucks. Sleeping on the back like a vampire is so hard, how does people manage??
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arcaneyouth · 4 months
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*disabled guy voice* why the fuck is this happening to me
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ereborne · 7 months
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Song of the Day: February 23
“Inkpot Gods” by The Amazing Devil
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#song of the day#'if I don't make it back from where I've gone / just know I loved you all along'#I'm setting up my queue for a more proper recommendation tomorrow but I've been rereading 'shoulder the sky' by Night_Fury#the whole series draws from various Amazing Devil lines for titles and such#'back then I was dauntless' is my favorite reworking of the Melidaan arc I've ever seen absolutely anywhere#and the title is a line from my favorite Amazing Devil song 'The Calling' but 'Inkpot Gods' is used to stunning effect in-story#and the beautiful refrain from the end of the song is playing in my head now as I keep going into the series#today was a deeply unpleasant day: the inevitable finally happened and Duncan cut himself doing his mudlarking#we'd been trying to schedule a preventative tetanus shot but several times we've gone in for the properly scheduled shot#and found out that they didn't actually have one in stock. unspeakably frustrating#and today we ran out of time for a preventative one. I woke up#(actually I woke up for work as he was going out for his walk but I got a migraine halfway through my morning meeting--no good--#and took the rest of the day off--turns out to have been a very good thing--and went back to sleep. so I woke up the second time)#to Duncan coming back from his walk with a sliced finger and the grody plastic-and-tin swan that had done the slicing#(picture of said swan under the cut because why not. it does look neat. can't see the sharp edge in the pic though it's underneath)#and so then we called the pharmacy and got the same automated 'of course you can have a tetanus shot' as ever so we made an appointment#and we got there and they did actually have a shot in stock this time! except that they weren't able to administer it#because now he's post-exposure that's a different shot and they aren't allowed. so we had to go to the urgent care instead#all told we spent about four hours out of the house on this mission but Duncan did get his shot and some bonus antibiotic goo for the cut#and it was worth it but also bleeeeeeegh it was miserable. which is where my recommendations do come in#when I tell y'all that I spent today reading Night_Fury's fics and also looking at valiants' CoD art and it saved me#whooo I mean it. being simultaneously stressed + bored is the nightmare state for me and instead I had wonderful things in my phone
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svartalfhild · 3 months
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Oh, you know it's gonna be a fantastic one in the house tonight when I hear my father angrily shout "goddamn" 20+ times in the span of like three minutes.
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rustycottoncandy · 11 months
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Lmao I need therapy
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miladysatsuki · 4 months
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hi I just finished my first ever playthrough of undertale (neutral and paci endings) and keep bawling about asriel and think I shrimply will never be normal again
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attractthecrows · 4 months
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retconning stroud out of the deep roads so i can shove laure amell and the hawke siblings and varric and anders all into the same little camp. they would all have such a bad time
#carver: dying of blight. with an inferiority complex. but mostly dying#danie: MY BROTHER!!! MY BABY BROTJER HELP HIM!!!!!#anders: oh god oh fuck. wait a minute. i recognize this area. isnt this where the commander should be? oh hell#varric: we are all going to 🪦die⚰️ in a 🕳 hole. not even a GOOD hole#warden commander laure amell of ferelden and amaranthine: oh. anders. glad you're not dead or a darkspawn but Why The Fuck Are You Here#anders: oh hell. uh.#warden commander laure amell of ferelden and amaranthine: actually shut up. darkspawn incoming. its too open here so follow me to camp#'uh- commander-' 'shut it. there are shrieks about. this is a nasty area to be in with non-wardens' [glaring disapprovingly]#they awkwardly walk to camp. sigrun and a couple other wardens are there. they all sit down & drop their stuff#amell sits on a stump and pulls out a corked bottle. pops the cork. sniffs it. takes a swig. her white hair almost seems to glow?#she coughs then asks anders 'so why *are* you this far in the deep roads with a band of nonwardens? how'd you even get here?'#anders pulls out the map and hands it over. she looks at it. her expression darkens. she rolls up the map and says 'Anders.' he looks up.#she whaps him on the head with the map and gripes 'do you have ANY idea how long I spent looking for these fucking maps?!' whap 'you dick!'#she whaps him one more time then stuffs the maps into her bag. 'that still doesn't tell me WHY you're here. out with it.'#varric speaks up: 'my asshole brother locked us in a thaig. we came down on an expedition and found an idol that he betrayed us for'#amell frowns. 'a *thaig*? there aren't any records in the shaperate of any out this far. this isn't even a main branch of the deep roads.'#'it could be ancient!' sigrun offers 'or an unsavory secret the shaperate 'lost'. like Caridin?' amell nods & turns back to varric.#'so you're looking for a way out.' they nod. 'and just happened to come by this way?' anders says 'no commander- we need your help.'#amell takes another swig of her bottle. her hair is definitely glowing slightly. 'who *doesn't* these days. but for a pair of old friends-'#she winks at anders. 'what is it you need?' danie interrupts. '-please- my brother is sick- if you can't help him he'll die!'#amell looks at hawke then at carver. gets up and steps over to him. kneels in front of him and unceremoniously grabs his face#tilts his chin up (carotid + jugular blackened) peels his eyelid back (sclera greying and bloodshot) pries open his mouth (tongue greying)#then releases his head and stands shaking her hands. 'oh yeah. that's blight for sure. this is why you sought me out?' anders nods.#'we'll take him. but you know- he may not survive the joining.' 'any chance is better than letting him die!' 'i agree.' amell says coolly.#'youre lucky. we can do it here but the prep will take time. rest. eat. be on your guard. and DO NOT touch my whiskey if you're not a mage.'#it takes like a day of prep. also no one has used amell's name so they havent figured out the Cousins thing yet#eventually amell pulls carver over to the fire and hands him a cup of the joining potion and says 'you get one warning. *don't flinch.*'#he drinks it. he lives. but he's unconscious. amell sends the party on their way#to anders: here. i found this not long after you left. *hands him the phylactery* you and justice be careful. it's getting chaotic out there#to hawke: for what it's worth im sorry. if ever you need the wardens' assistance i grant it under the authority of warden-commander amell
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blunderpuff · 4 months
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oh so now the birds are eating the <25 cherries i've got growing on my tiny tree
literally everything i've planted in this fucking garden has either died on its own or has been killed by birds/bugs
#my garden is a microcosm of my whole life right now#my life has been on a downward spiral since last july and bestie i am starting to reach my fucking limit#defaulting to thinking ''i wish i were dead'' at every little inconvenience is BAD!!!! i know!!!! but it's true!!!#the mint from trader joe's was infested with aphids and i've been cleaning it off every day for 2 weeks and it's STILL got them#like... this plant is 1 foot tall with two little stalks and less than 30 leaves. it hasn't grown in the 2 months i've had it#the money plant still reeks of mold and has to live outside because of its smell and the fungus gnats#the golden sage just fuckin.... burned to death????? it turned gray and DIED#the one and only bean plant that sprouted just ejected the only 2 true leaves it bothered growing#the originally robust blackberry cane is withering. the other two did get better but started from the ground up. there's 1 blackberry total#the rosemary hasn't gotten any bigger in the 3 months i've had it#the scotch brooms don't look so good. the salvia haven't gotten any bigger in 3 months and the creeping phlox bleached and died#the thyme is doing okay and the culinary sage is hanging in there but i don't have high hopes#not a single fucking wildflower sprouted in the yard. i used 2 bags of seed+mulch that was supposed to cover 600sq ft (the yard is 400)#the mourning doves ate a bunch of the seeds and the rest never sprouted#there's a few puny sunflower sprouts but the cottontail came and ate some of those leaves#the cottontail also ate an entire stalk of the potted mystery flowers#the huge plant i moved in November... the one that surprisingly survived frost/freeze... can't handle the heat and is now dead#i just...#the job market is awful. the salaries are worse. the neighborhood is in the middle of nowhere and inhabited by paranoid cops#everyone has big dogs who go apeshit when they hear ppl walking#and the fences are short and the dogs are big so i'm scared to go walking because EVERY. DAY. on the nextdoor app are people#announcing that they found a dog wandering the neighborhood. or ppl saying ''omgggg my dog got out of the yard! have u seen it?''#spring was all wind/gusty and it battered the blackberries and sucked all the moisture out of the yard#so the 2 tons of compost that we rototilled into the dirt? it's just dust now. there's nothing living in that soil#and now summer is here and it's too hot and these plants don't have a chance#i hate everything
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hairtusk · 1 year
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everytime i attempt even mild, slow exercise, like going for a walk, i get a migraine, which i think is the universe telling me to kms
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running-in-the-dark · 6 months
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I've basically been moving non-stop all day for a week (except Monday when I went to the doctor, and then the antibiotics were mean to me), everything hurts, but hey at least my room is somewhat close to being finished!
now there's just everything else left to do....
I've also had to deal with builders and electricians and a painter and I don't remember who else every day this week. I think I did alright. didn't have a panic attack or anything, it didn't even make me very anxious. so that's good! but I want to be left alone for several months now please 🙃
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slippery-minghus · 10 months
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i want to paint, but autism is hungry and needs to be fed 8hrs of skyrim a day
#i'm trying to set up to paint bc i want to!! but every bone in my body says no#i'm gonna feel sad and disappointed in myself if i don't paint because i want to actually *do* something#and not spend this whole weekend having barely even scraped the surface of what i truly genuinely wanted to do#and instead just burn away the time looking at skyrim#i'm not even really having all that much fun playing it!!! but i can't break away from it#which isn't always a bad thing especially on week days but? on a long weekend where i want to enjoy myself??#and i can't because my brain won't let me??? not fun!!!#painting is so boring and understimulating and my brain is way too foggy right now to think about mixing colors and layering#(secretly i don't even want to paint i just want to feel satisfied at creating a thing!!) (my brain is too fried to hold a thought long#enough to do the physical action of painting! it sounds wayyyy too daunting and taxing right now!!)#but if i spend this whole weekend having sat on my ass doing nothing will i feel rested? no!!!#but if i spend all my energy doing A Hobby will i feel rested? also no!!! but then i'll at least have something to show for it#i'm riling myself up and i feel like i ALMOST could make myself paint right now#but as soon as i think of what it will feel like to sit here and focus and move my hands to do the painting my brain screams NO#and sure i can argue i'll feel better if i do it i'll be glad if i do it and it'll be easier once i start#but this isn't the walk i took yesterday (that i was glad i took but still felt like garbage after)#i WANTED to take a walk. i was just struggling with the level of exertion i could manage (walk my neighborhood or drive 30min to the park?)#my brain is latching on to 8hrs a day of skyrim bc that's all i have the energy for#work has been killing me#and it's so painfully bright in my apartment but i can't close the curtains bc i need all the sunlight i can get#i WANT to have the energy to paint and enjoy it but i just don't.... (but i feel like if i Give In to the exhaustion then i'm#no better than my mom who just sits around all day refusing to live her life bc she refuses to take care of herself.#and calls sitting perfectly still—instead of actuvely managing her condition—'not letting her disability win')#(so i don't want to be that. i don't want to waste away like my mom bemoaning how i Just Can't when i totally can!!!#i could push through this exhaustion and hype myself up but the only thing i'm going to be thinking about is Am I Done Yet? Can I Rest Now?)#and i can't convince myself that 'just paint for 30min' is worth it bc mixing paint and setting up is Just So Much#enough that 'just 30min' is a lie and not a legitimate out if i need it to be#i need to commit or not do it. and i just can't......... my eyes hurt and i'm tured and i just wanna play my game#and all this indecision and feeling like i'm wasting time is just making me want to cry. im gonna close the curtains and boot up the xbox;(#personal
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singsweetmelodies · 1 year
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were you ever intimidated by me? 😌😏😚
ACTUALLY HMMM... i'm trying to think back now. here, have a sexy pierre gif so long
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(still thinking. admittedly getting distracted by the sexy pierre gifs.)
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(yeah i am deliberately looking for gifs where he looks like he's thinking, and looks sexy doing that. to be fair though, he looks sexy doing anything.)
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the look, pierre. the LOOK. i melt
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CONCENTRATION!!!
(AKA, something which i do not have. i will answer your question in the tags, bb. i love you. pls focus on the sexy pierre gifs and not me being a disaster ❤️)
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