#canadian golf stories

[untilthenexttee]

(via Reflections - Looking Back at 2023)3 +3][

[flemingsfreckles]

Physio’s Daughter Headcanons

From this request! If there’s anything else from this story you all want to see HCs for just let me know!

About Emery

Your child by nature (she’s biologically your daughter)

Jessie’s child by nurture

Takes after Jessie in terms of her behavior, soft spoken, incredibly shy especially as a little girl, she grows out of it a little as she gets older

Hides behind you or Jessie when she meets someone new

She’s the spitting image of you even as a baby and she uses it to her advantage, makes it hard for Jessie to say no to her

Loves watching Jessie play, when she’s little you put her on your shoulders to watch her Portland games, when it’s a Canada game she’ll often come to watch with Jessie’s parents or she’d stay by your side

She comes to work with you when she can just like you did with your Mom, the Canada girls adore her

She makes you give her massages for no reason after she saw you rubbing out knots in Jessie’s back one night

Honest to a fault, will tell on herself for doing something she shouldn’t have, she tells on herself when she eats 4 Oreos instead of the 2 you and Jessie said she could have

she’s even honest with both of you as a teenager

Tells you when she’s going to a party, tells you about boys and girls she likes (identifies as bi once she’s a teenager), sometimes she overshares and forgets that you’re her parents not her best friends

The opposite of a picky eater which makes life just that much easier for you and Jessie

You made her “kid friendly” meals when she was younger but she would always eye up your or Jessie’s plate and ask to try everything, you both got tired of her eating half your meal so you make her what you eat now

Hates playing soccer

you and Jessie try her in every activity possible to find what she does like, basketball, hockey, dance, art classes, golf, running

She ends up loving ice hockey like a stereotypical Canadian, plays it her whole life (future PWHL player)

Puts a hyphenated last name on her jersey when she’s a professional, even though you took Fleming as your last name, Emery wants to make sure you’re on her jersey too

Takes after her Mama and captains the Canadian Women’s hockey team

Is an ideal baby and perfect toddler which leads you and Jessie to have baby #2, who is the opposite of Emery and is a wild child

[ronsenthal]

Part five and final of Jess Reads Fierce Valor as we reached his post WWII military career, his retirement and last years of his life

Notes: Please read the book and take your own conclusions if you can, this is my view and my own clonclusion from my experience reading it

okay now really not much happens, he got married for a second time, stayed in the army, got divorced again

he came to the veterans reunion in 1947 and then never showed up again until some 50 years later

he made his final combat jumps in Korea, he had like 4 which was like a LOT

btw do you guys remember Albert Blithe from the series right? Right! the guy lived after recovering from his wounds and actually served in the 187th Infantry Regiment, guess who was the company commander? thats right! our very own bald man

ok so he worked and had time studied Russian and became the governor os Spandau, at this time there was already some cold war shit going on

speaking of shit, his german was shitty (so is mine!!!) so he couldn't quite undestand the prisioners but played chess with one of them??

Ah yes got married and divorced again

trained and organized some stuff for the the Royal Lao Army and some more army duty??? but nothing interesting is said really

he was then Lieutenant Colonel and worked with the Pentagon, it says that his army duty came to an end in 1964 but his name came up in army records in 1965 at a special division, so he had some function? was he a spy? we will never know for sure

okay now he is retired, married again (the man was a machine), had some health related problems and had to do some heart surgeries, like 5 of them or even more

at this point he was really introspective over his life, then the Ambrose book came and old man was PISSED because guess what??? Ambrose didn't even bothered to actual fact check his book and Speirs felt that he did dirty to his first ex-wife and even to himself

Dick became his biggest advocate and tried so many times to reunited him to the last members of Easy but he couldn't, he even begged Speirs but remember he is a Taurus so he said no again and again

toward his late years and after the release of the book he was afraid some n30-naz1s would come after him for some kind of vengeance so he asked for his name adress and personal info to be removed so Dick was the only one who knew hot to contact him

then there was the reunion for the screening of Band of Brothers and he finally showed up after his last wife made him show up and it was really emotional, Matthew Settle just watched the real Speirs and Dick watching the first ep and then Matthew showed up on his door and asked him to sing his cast, cause he got hurt his feet somehow

oh right forgot to mention that he loved his poodles, he was really into square dance (I don't know what the hell this is don't ask me), had some weird hobbies like pan for gold on rivers??? also normal ones like playing golf and he was also a nice elderly to his grand-sons and great-grand-sons, nephews, nieces and stuff

he had really bad PTSD specially while sleeping ans even after being retired he couldn't relax while sleeping and always eat his food fast.

he wouldn't let people kill spiders, like black widow spiders because of the William Wallace story and because he served in a company that the symbol and nickname was one

also he didn't talked about his army life like AT ALL, he said it was harder for him to remember things since he spent great part of his life om the army while the other guys served like with one company and that was it, for me it's clear it was bullshit he was so hard on himself and self critical on the basic stuff he didn't so one can only imagine how he dealt with the heavy stuff

his final years he was losing his strength, already loss great part of his hearing and was so ashamed of it and was really frustrated and miserable

after his death this one person of his family took his ashes and spread somewhere in a beautiful lake near the Canadian border where he rests today, quite emotional really

Okay so overall this was such a great reading, it's really a testament to how complex, mysterious and sometimes twisted his character really was.

I loved how the authors didn't pushed any agenda or narratives, I feel like they did a good job because they didn't tried to justify any of his actions, they just wanted to bring as many facts to the table as they could so we, as readers, could come up with our own conclusions

Mine is: He was crazy indeed, he did some questionable stuff and it took it's toll on him during and after the war, but also really cared for the man on his side, he sure could be cruel, flawed, cold blooded, impetuous and a true killer, but at the same time protective, respectful, really smart and incredible skilled as a leader, so much that everyone respected him for it, some loved the man dearly, some despised and that it was what truly amazed me by

A big thank you to everyone who followed my dumb takes during this reading, it was really fun to do!!!

taglist: @mads-weasley, @mutantmanifesto, @love--persevering, @gorgeousundertow, @grumpy-liebgott, @wexhappyxfew, @latibvles, @1waveshortofashipwreck and @executethyself35

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 9: Birthday Girl Down

~Henry's house~

Henry, Charlotte, Jasper and one of their other friends from school were all sat on Henry's couch, studying the periodic table.

"Okay..." Charlotte showed her PearPad to Jasper, which had a 'B' symbol on it.

"Boron, okay....atomic number five, category metalloid." He recalled, feeling proud that his chemistry revision was finally sinking in.

"Doesn't your grandfather have metalloids?" Henry looked at Charlotte, thinking that it was a disease.

"Yeah, he can't sit down." She replied without looking up from her tablet. This time, it was Jasper's turn to test Henry, showing him a 'Cd' symbol.

"Canadium, a person from Canada...mium. Personality, Canadian-ish." He guessed incorrectly.

"It's cadmium. Atomic number 48. Category, transition metal." Charlotte answered for him, being right, of course, because it was Charlotte.

"Ohhhh, and once again Charlotte gets the answer right." They all started to clap sarcastically, laughing with each other.

"Yeah..too bad I don't know the atomic number for idiot boys." She sassed, not letting them get her down. They all shouted again at her burn, as she put her PearPad back in her bag.

"So, hey, what are we all doing Saturday night?" Henry asked his friends. They all looked around awkwardly, giving him the suspicion that they knew something he didn't.

"You guys wanna play miniature golf?" He asked enthusiastically.

"No." Was the answer he got from all of them.

"You wanna play enormous golf?" He said as a joke, but they still gave no answer.

"Hello?" He looked at them, wondering why they were so quiet.

"He's gonna find out." Charlotte sighed to Jasper.

"Well, I'm not telling him." He told her, putting his hands in the air.

"What? Come on, no secrets. Flashback?" Henry was eager to know what was going on, so he looked to the boy sat quietly on the end of the sofa.

"Why you asking me? This is the first time I've even been invited to your house." He said as an excuse.

"Ugh, alright." Charlotte gave in when Henry looked at her, so she returned to her seat next to him.

"Henry... We're all going to Debbie Putch's birthday party." She revealed to the blond boy, making him look around in confusion, only to see them nod in confirmation.

"But... I didn't get an invitation." He said, making them feel awkward.

"Is that a big surprise?" Jasper asked his best friend, who looked back at him, offended.

"You know why," Flashback added. Henry got up from his seat in frustration.

"It's not fair!" He said to his friends.

"You almost killed her." Jasper reminded him.

"No, I didn't." Henry insisted as the doorbell rang.

"Who's here?" Flashback asked.

"Our food," Henry told him in an annoyed tone and he went to see the delivery guy.

"Sushi Dushi!" The man said in a cheery voice, holding out a large platter of sushi to Henry.

"Here's my mom's credit card." He gave the piece of plastic to the guy and accepted the food from him. 

"Don't be mad." Charlotte tried to calm him down, as he brought it over to the coffee table.

"I am mad." He snapped back.

"Well, you can't blame Debbie," Jasper told him.

"I blame Debbie. I blame her parents and I blame anyone else who thinks it was my fault." Henry exclaimed in anger.

"Hey." The sushi guy interrupted.

"Yeah?" 

"What are you so ticked off about?" The dude asked.

"Why do you wanna know?" They all looked at him with weirded-out expressions.

"Hey man, just because I deliver sushi, doesn't mean I don't have curiosities." The man whined back.

"Tell him what happened." Charlotte looked to her friend.

"No, I've already told the story, like, a thousand times." Henry didn't want to remember that unfortunate night.

"Flashback? Tell the guy how Henry almost killed Debbie." Jasper asked the boy on his right.

'All right. It all went down at Debbie's last birthday party. And it almost was her last." He smirked and leaned forward, making the delivery man sit down in amazement.

"Tell me more."

"Okay, try to visualise this. Debbie was turning 13 years old, and she was getting everything ready for her party, way up on the roof of her parent's condo." 

~Flashback~

"It looked like it was going to be the best birthday party ever."

"Mom, this is going to be the best birthday party ever," Debbie said to her mom in excitement.

"It will be if we get everything ready." Her mom put her hands on her daughter's arms.

"Excuse me, I'd like to get some pics of the kids helping me set up?" She said, grabbing the party photographer, who quickly started taking photos of everyone on the roof.

"Okay, all the balloons have been blown up. What else can we do?" Charlotte came over to her and reported how everything was going.

"Uh... let's see. Oooh, why don't you and the boys check out the ball machine and make sure it works?" She suggested, pointing at the machine by the doors.

"Sure. You guys, let's make sure this ball thing works!" Charlotte yelled to Jasper and Oliver Pook. They grabbed a bat and Charlotte put a ball into the tube.

"Set the ball speed nice and slow. Level two." Jasper told her, not wanting the ball to injure someone. The machine fired, but Oliver didn't even swing. Sydney clapped excitedly though.

"Anyone see where it went?" Oliver said. Jasper ran over to the edge of the roof snd saw the ball hit a car, which then hit another car.

"You hit that Prius!" He yelled in horror, watching the accident unfold. The door opened and in came Henry, dragging a whiny Piper behind him.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late." He greeted the rooftop.

"I wanna go to the Pear store!" Piper screamed at her brother, who turned to Debbie.

"Later. This is my little sister, Piper." He introduced them.

"Oh, hi, Piper." The teen girl smiled at her, but Piper just pulled a face at her.

"Sorry I brought her, but I had to babysit tonight." He explained to Debbie.

"Like I wanna be here?" His sister retorted at him. 

"Aw, I'm sure you'll have a--" Debbie's mom was interrupted as Piper shoved her phone into her face.

"Look at my phone!" 

"The screen's broken." Debbie immediately noticed.

"No kidding, girl." Piper said sarcastically.

"Hey Debbie, want to come hit a ball?" Jasper butted in and the birthday girl happily accepted. Mrs Putch called Charlotte to help her with the gift bags, leaving Henry with his sister.

"Henry, go work the ball machine," Charlotte told him.

"Okay, I'm just going to grab a chip." Henry agreed as Piper struggled with her phone.

"I can't read my stupid screen!" She yelled, flicking the cracked screen and squinting at it.

"Okay, get ready, birthday girl." Jasper smiled at Debbie, who was preparing to swing the bat in her hand.

"Do it, Henry." The curly-haired boy called to his friend, who ran back to the ball machine.

"All right, here it comes!" He pressed the button and the ball flew it at lightning speed.

"And that's when things went real bad for Debbie." The ball hit Debbie square in her chest, forcing her backwards and over the edge of the roof. Screaming on the way down, she landed on a dog, as her friends and mother ran to the ledge. They looked down and saw Debbie groaning in pain, a dog walker looking up at them in horror and confusion.

"Stop taking pictures and call 9-1-1!" Mrs Putch yelled at the photography, who quickly ran off. She looked at Henry.

"How did this happen?" She asked him in a shrill voice.

"Henry made the ball go at like, 90 miles an hour." Jasper pointed at the ball machine.

"What...me?" Henry looked flabbergasted at the accusations.

"Henry, you set the ball speed to 11." The distraught mother said to him after checking the machine.

"No, I didn't!" The blond boy insisted.

"Henry, why would you do that?" Oliver Pook blamed him.

"Charlotte?" Henry looked to his friend for support.

"I set it to two." She explained, which didn't help Henry's case.

"And you were the only one standing near the machine," Sydney added. 

"But I..." Henry stuttered, not knowing what to say.

"Security!" Debbie's mother called the guards, wanting the teen gone.

"I didn't do anything!" Was all Henry could protest, as two men came and dragged him out of the building, kicking and screaming.

~End of flashback~

"And then ol' Henry got kicked out of the party before it ever got started." Flashback finished the story for the Sushi Dushi guy, who had now sat down at the coffee table and was eating with the kids.

"'Cause Henry's the one who set the ball machine to 11. Amen." Flashback looked back down to his sushi, as Henry protested.

"It wasn't me." He tried to tell them.

"He says it was you." The delivery man said.

"Are you meant to be eating our sushi?" Henry looked at him confused.

"No, I'm not supposed to be." The dude just shrugged with his mouth full.

"Henry, you might feel better if you just admit that you did it," Jasper said to the boy on his left. Henry grabbed his chopsticks and snapped them in half with a scowl on his face.

"You guys see the rage in this kid?" Jasper said to the group.

"Where I come from, a man who knocks a pretty girl off a roof, on her birthday, is no man." The sushi man said, which made Henry feel even worse.

"Will you tell these guys that I didn't set the machine to 11?" He tried to get Charlotte on his side.

"I can't." She told him.

"Why not?"

"'Cause, you did it." Charlotte looked at the sushi guy, so Henry broke her chopsticks too.

~The Man Cave~

Henry stumbled from the elevator, seeing Ray at the back of the Man Cave and (y/n) sat on the couch. 

"Hey, you called me?" The boy looked at his boss.

"Yeah, check out what's in that bin." Ray pointed to a black box on top of a table near the elevator.

"Okay." Henry opened the lid and saw that the box was full of underwear, shirts, pants, but mainly underwear. 

"What is..." Henry looked at him in disgust, as (y/n) looked over from where she was sat.

"I want you to do my laundry." The man said in a pleasant voice, making Henry immediately drop the underwear back in the bin. Okay, he was gonna have to bleach his fingers after this. 

"Ew, no!" 

"Raymond! Why would you do that to him?" (y/n) threw her head back in annoyance. Suddenly, a beeping noise went off, only Henry had never heard it before.

"What does that sound mean?" The boy asked his boss.

"That we have a delivery," Ray told him, as a pizza box came down the tube.

"Huh." Ray went to pick up the food, as (y/n) came over, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"Did you order a pizza?" She asked Henry, knowing that Ray hadn't as they had been together all morning and she'd had rather a heavy lunch so the fact that they now had unknown food deliveries was odd. 

"No." Henry denied. Opening the box, Ray smiled at the two and started to read the note written on the box.

"Hey, get this. "Dear Captain Man, our daughter, Debbie, is having her birthday party Saturday night."" Henry groaned at the mention of the party, feeling like it was following him everywhere he went. 

"Oh no, Debbie?" He complained, groaning at the thought of the girl and how she and her parents hated his guts. 

"Shhh. "We're inviting some of Debbie's favourite celebrities, including you and Miss Swellview." Ohhhh, she's so hot." Ray squealed looking at his friends, but he failed to see how dejected (y/n) looked at the mention of the beauty queen. The thought of Ray spending an entire evening with the beautiful woman made her feel small and inferior, like she was at the bottom of the pile, the last person he'd ever want to go out with since he had models and pageant wives throwing themselves at his feet. 

"Will you please stop reading the box?" Henry asked him, not wanting to hear more about Debbie, or see the woman next to him sad.

"No. So, if you'll agree to come to Debbie's party, you may cash the enclosed check for twelve thousand dollars. Whoa, look at this check!" He said holding it out, but (y/n) was too upset to care about the injection of cash into their bank account, so she didn't share his happiness nor did she give the cheque much attention. 

"It has pizza grease on it." She said in a monotone voice.

"I know." Ray smiled back, not realising she was in a bad mood.

"Fine, go to her party with every other kid in my class except me," Henry whined.

"Why aren't you invited?" (y/n) put her hand on his shoulder.

"'Cause I was at Debbie's birthday party last year and everyone thinks I shot her in the face with a rubber ball and knocked her off the roof. Onto a dog." He explained and the young woman looked at him with sympathy whilst Ray munched on a pizza slice.

"Oh, yeah. I remember hearing about that on the news. You did that?" Ray asked him, his best friend frowning at how happy he seemed.

"No! Everyone just thinks it was me." He insisted on his innocence.

"Henry, it's just me, (y/n) and you here." Ray walked towards the kid.

"So?" The boy asked confused.

"Why'd you shoot Debbie in the face?" Ray wanted to know, putting the pizza in his mouth. (y/n) and Henry groaned together.

"I didn't. Man, even you don't believe me." Henry couldn't believe that his boss didn't think he was telling the truth, the guy counted on him in life or death situations.

"I believe you." (y/n) told him, which made him feel slightly better.

"Do you want me to believe you?" Ray asked the boy.

"Yeah," Henry replied.

"Can I feel your head with my truth fingers?" The man questioned him.

"Sure you can-- feel my what with your what?" The teen looked extremely weirded out.

"Does this mean I have to go in the back and get everything ready?" (y/n) looked at Ray in annoyance.

"Yeah." He smiled at her, but she just glared back. He was really ticking her off today.

~

Having set the machine up, (y/n) motioned for Henry to sit down in the red spongy chair, as Ray pulled on the special gloves.

"Is this gonna be weird?" Henry asked as the woman pressed a few settings on the screen.

"No," Ray said from behind him.

"Yes, it is." (y/n) deadpanned.

"No, it's not," Ray said in an unusually stern tone, at which (y/n) tutted. Henry could feel the tension between them, and it wasn't comfortable to sit in-between.

"Okay." Ray lifted up his gloved hands, the fingertips covered in glowing censors. He moved past (y/n) without a word.

"Now, I'm going to rub my finger nodules all over your head and face," Ray said, as the woman did some final checks.

"So, what would be weird to you?" She said with an irritated voice, but the man just ignored her. Henry decided that he hated it when they fought. He wanted them to go back to their silly, oblivious selves who were hopelessly in love with each other, even if they'd never admit it to themselves, let alone each other.

"See, these blinky things read human brainwaves, like a lie detector but way more sophisticated," Ray explained how it worked to Henry.

"Whatever, just do it." Henry settled back into his chair, ready for the test to begin.

"All right, we're ready." (y/n) pressed the go button and Ray placed his hands on Henry's head, rubbing them over his scalp.

"Think about Debbie's birthday party," Ray said, working his fingers on the boy's head.

"Debbie's birthday party," Henry repeated slowly, his brainwaves picking up on the machine.

"One year ago." Ray carried on.

"One year ago," Henry repeated.

"When a ball knocked her off the roof." (y/n) scanned his results, and so far everything was normal.

"His heart rate is spiking." She reported.

"Off the roof." 

"Because you changed the ball speed from 2 to 11." Ray looked at his friend's back. He hated it when they weren't on good terms, even though he didn't know why she was so upset.

"No, I did not," Henry said truthfully. 

"Why do you tell lies?" Ray rubbed his hands faster over the teen's hair.

"I don't tell lies." Henry insisted.

"Brainwaves say he's telling the truth." (y/n) said over her shoulder.

"Do you feel pretty when you tell lies?" Ray asked him, and the woman furrowed her eyebrows at his odd question, but she remained quiet.

"You said this wouldn't get weird." Henry's humour wasn't prohibited by the machine, and Ray quickly ended the test, leaning over (y/n)'s shoulder to see the results.

"I believe you." He said to Henry.

"Really?" The boy asked with a joyful voice.

"Yeah." His boss smiled.

"Told you he was telling the truth." (y/n) piped up, but Ray still wasn't talking to her. He didn't want to be on the receiving end of her sharp tongue, so he thought it would be best to just say nothing.

"But that doesn't mean everyone will." Ray continued.

"So you felt my face for nothing," Henry complained.

"No. Now, we're going to find out the truth." (y/n) said, walking over to them after turning off the machine.

"But you both know already that I didn't do it," Henry replied.

"Yeah, but to know the full truth we've got to find out who did do it. That's the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie." Ray said, looking thoughtful.

"Ooooh, can we get some actual pie?" Henry asked, smiling up at his boss.

"I like the way you think about pie." Ray pointed a finger at him, as (y/n) felt her annoyance building again. Man, she was having just one of those days.

"Focus." She slapped both of them on the shoulder, bringing them back onto the problem at hand.

"So, how do we find out who really did change the ball speed from 2 to 11?" Henry looked at them both, the adults thinking over the situation.

"Easy. We're gonna dress up like foreign filmmakers and interview everyone on that roof when Debbie's face got smacked by the ball."

"And then we eat pie," Henry commented.

And then we eat pie." Ray nodded with him.

"Wow, Holmes, how do you come up with these brilliant plans?" (y/n) said in passing, as she walked away from the two and went through the sprocket, needing the comfort of her bed.

"What's up with her?" Ray looked at Henry with a perplexed face.

"Dude, you're so stupid." Henry just looked at him in disbelief.

~The next day, Swellview high~

Henry and Ray had donned ridiculous disguises. Wearing dark hats and tinted glasses, they had taken to speaking in strange, German accents. Charlotte looked at them with a bored expression.

"And vhere vere you vhen Debbie flew off zhe roof-us? Ray asked her.

"Yah, vhere vere you?" Henry repeated, his accent not as good but the effort was there. 

"VHERE?" Ray shouted through his megaphone.

"I know it's you, guys" She sighed at them, seeing through their pathetic costumes.

"Vhat guys?" Henry asked her.

"Ve are German filmmakers." Ray tried to say, but it didn't convince her.

"Yah, ve German." Henry nodded with his boss.

"Ve like veiner schnitzel." The man spoke.

"We also like to say veiner schnitzel." Henry joked.

"Veiner schnitzel." Ray let the words roll off his tongue.

"Yah, veiner schnitzel." Henry loved that phrase.

"I know, you're Henry and Ray. P.S, your accents are terrible. Does (y/n) know you're doing this?" She asked the two. 

"They're fighting, will you just answer our questions?" Henry took off his glasses, as Ray's stomach dropped at the mention of (y/n). She hadn't spoken to him last night when he got back from his crime fighting, and he was missing the familiarity of his best friend.

"We have a lot of these interviews to do." He snapped.

"Go ahead." Charlotte felt the need to drop the subject of the young woman, sensing it was a touchy subject.

~Back to the Man Cave~

"Okay, vhere vere you vhen Debbie flew off zhe roof-us?" Ray interviewed her.

"Well, Henry and Ray..." Charlotte's interview was one of several on the monitors inside the Man Cave.

"I was helping Debbie's mom with the gift bags, I was nowhere near the ball machine." Her voice came through the speakers.

"Do you think ve can believe her?" Ray said to Henry, using his German accent.

"Dude, it's just us and (y/n) here. You can drop the accent." Henry smiled at him, and the woman looked at the boy when she heard her name. 

"Geez, ma, why you always got to pee in my skeezits?" Ray whined at him, making (y/n) smile behind his back. She'd calmed down in the time they had been to the school and come back, but Ray still seemed to be on edge around her. She just needed the right time to apologise.

"I'm trying to prove I'm innocent." Henry reminded him.

"All right. Play the section from video four again." Ray replied, getting ready to write ideas down.

"Vhere vere you vhen Debbie vas knocked off the roof?" German Ray said onscreen to Jasper.

"Yah, vere youuuu?" Jasper looked at them weirdly but answered the question anyway.

"I was on the roof." He stated.

"Achtung!"

"Gesundheit!" The superhero duo exclaimed in frustration. 

"Video three," Ray said to Henry, having seen enough of Jasper.

"Yeah, I've always like Debbie. Except for one time in fourth grade, she told on a teacher that me and Sydney were eating bugs. That made me feel hatred." Ray and (y/n) screwed their faces up in disgust, as the older man wrote down a few notes about Oliver Pook.

"Okay, first, I only chewed the bugs. I did not swallow. And anyway, Henry's the one who changed the ball speed." Sydney Birnbaum said, following up on what Oliver said.

"No, I didn't!" The teen piped up, shouting at his classmate onscreen.

"Video six." (y/n) made him move on before he could get any angrier.

"NO, I DIDN'T CHANGE THE STUPID BALL SPEED!" Piper yelled at the camera, making the woman wince. Taking the pen off of Ray, she noted down 'Brat' under Piper's name, making him smile. Finally, things were beginning to calm down between them.

"Get out of my face!" Piper slammed the door, so Henry swiped to the next clip.

"Look, I felt really bad when Debbie fell off the roof, even though she used to make fun of my bucket collection. I'm a bucketeer!" Jasper flashed his badge at the camera, and Ray made sure to write 'bucket' on the board.

"Okay, I guess I felt a little bit jealous when Debbie won the spelling bee last year. But I'm over it. That should have been my trophy!" Charlotte revealed her anger to the camera.

"Is that vhy you changed zhe ball speed?" Ray quizzed the screen back on Oliver.

"I wanna talk to a lawyer." He said in his usual flat tone.

"Video 15," Ray called out.

"I... I know nothing about any of this. Can someone get my manager, please? I don't think these guys are even German." Some mystery guy called Nathan stuttered as he came on screen.

"Hey, he's cute." (y/n) smiled at the screen, checking the guy out. Ray angrily wrote an exclamation mark on the board, not liking how (y/n) looked at him.

"Oh please, he's a foetus." Ray scoffed, but Henry quickly switched off the screen. Ray realised what time it was and quickly came up with a lie that would allow him to leave. 

"So I'm going to... I got to go buy some socks." Ray checked his watch, trying to sneak off to the party.

"Socks? Right now?" (y/n) asked him, she wanted to make up with him and she couldn't do that if he was buying socks. 

"Yeah, it's an emergency." Ray slowly started walking backwards.

"But we still haven't figured out who made Debbie fly off the roof." Henry pointed out, not understanding why Ray wanted to leave so urgently.

"But, hey! You still got that thumb drive with all the pics from the party. Check those for evidence." Ray hoped that would make him feel better, but it didn't.

"Are you going to the party?" (y/n) questioned him, putting the pieces together when she remembered that it was Saturday evening.

"No, check the pics." Ray laughed off her question.

"Okay." She and Henry didn't sound too convinced, but they started to flick through the photos. Whilst they were preoccupied, Ray took his gum tube out and popped a gumball. Putting it into his mouth, he began to blow and then sneaked towards the tube once he had transformed.

"HEY!" (y/n) shouted at him as she turned around, knowing the only time he was quiet was when he was up to no good.

"I knew it. I knew you were going to Debbie's party." Henry yelled at him too, and they stalked towards Ray.

"Miss Swellview's gonna be there!" Ray wailed. He wanted to be around other girls, so he could take his mind off how (y/n) would never go out with a guy like him. The friendzone was where he lived and he hated it, so he might as well knock on other doors. 

"You better not go! Think of Henry's feelings." (y/n) warned him with a pointed finger, still hating the idea of him being all over the beauty queen.

"Okay, I won't go," Ray mumbled and shuffled his feet.

"Good." Henry dragged (y/n) back to the computer by her wrist. With their backs turned again, Ray stepped back into place and hit his belt, causing the tube to come down.

"Up the tube." He whispered as the two looked at him again in horror.

"RAYMOND!" (y/n) shouted after him, but it was no use.

"Hey! Where I come from, a man who lies about socks is no man!" Henry yelled too, but he just let out a sigh when he knew that Ray was long gone.

"He really pisses me off sometimes." (y/n) grumbled under her breath, as she and Henry plodded back to the computer.

"I suppose we should check the pics." He said to her in a bored tone and plopped down into the computer chair. He scrolled through the photos, most of them just selfies, but then something caught (y/n)'s eyes.

"Wait, wait, wait! Go back to that last one!" She said, and Henry flicked backwards, not seeing what she saw.

"What?" He asked with his eyes squinted.

"Look, those two pictures. See something peculiar?" She smirked down at him and pointed at the screen. Henry's eye's widened in realisation and he smiled up at her.

"Oh my god, we got to get to that party." He said, swiftly getting up from his chair.

"We?" The young woman's eyebrows rose.

"Yeah, you gotta talk to Ray. Straighten things out." He said as he downloaded the photos to his phone.

"Like he'll be able to hear me over Miss Swellview's giggling." She said bitterly.

"You're his best friend, he'll listen to you." Henry insisted, and they walked to the tubes.

"He irritates the hell outta me." She told him as the tubes fell down.

"You love him," Henry smirked at her.

"Shut up!" (y/n) blushed and tried to deny it, but Henry just gave her a coy grin.

"Up the tube!" They shot upwards, with the hope that they could prove Henry's innocence and patch up a friendship.

~Debbie's party~

The party was buzzing, as Ray posed for photos with all the kids. There was a trampoline at the back of the floor, with Jasper and Charlotte bouncing on it. It was a dangerous spot to leave it, so close to the edge, but no one seemed to care.

"Excuse me, Captain Man?" Mr and Mrs Putch walked up to the superhero.

"Yes, hello, citizens." He greeted them.

"We're Debbie's parents." Mr Putch introduced them.

"And this is Debbie, our birthday girl. She's so excited that you're here." The young girl rushed over, excited to meet her idol.

"Well, it's great to meet you, Debbie, and your wealthy parents." Ray smiled, knowing that his appearance tonight meant that he was in line for $12,000.

"Oh, don't you remember? You and I...We met a long time ago." The blonde lady smirked at him, her husband frowning at the new knowledge.

"We did?" Ray had flirted and gone out with so many women in his 33 years of living, he wasn't sure which one Debbie's mom was.

"What?" Mr Putch looked at his wife with a frown, the information apparently being a surprise to him.

"Yeah, remember the Swellview rodeo? I was a waitress and after the rodeo, you invited me back to--" Her story made the memory click together in Ray's mind.

"Ohhhh, yes. It's so great to see you again, here with your husband." The superhero felt awkward, but suddenly, everyone's eyes were on Henry and (y/n) as they came through the door. Ray's smile fell when he saw the two asking the DJ for the mic. He recalled how he left them in the Man Cave to come party, and how distraught the girl's face was as he went up the tube.

Henry snatched the mic from the DJ's hand, after (y/n) gave him some very select words.

"Hey! Everyone! Over here! Hello?" The teen called out to the crowd, and everyone looked at the two colleagues. For once in her life, (y/n) didn't feel nervous in front of the crowd. She knew she and Henry were in the right, and they were in the wrong.

"That's Henry Hart."

"Why is he here? And who's that girl?" Debbie and her mother objected.

"What happened with you and Captain Man after the rodeo?" Mr Putch asked his wife, wanting to know just how far they'd gone.

"Okay, I know everyone's freaked out to see me here 'cause of what happened last year." Henry started off.

"Sing Wrecking Ball!" Oliver Pook shouted at him, and (y/n) looked at him with a weirded-out face.

"No, we're not here to sing." (y/n) told him, pulling the microphone in Henry's hands to her lips.

"Yeah, we're here 'cause you all think I did something that I didn't do." The boy carried on from her.

"You were the only one standing by the ball machine!" Debbie yelled at him, and the people around her vocally agreed her.

"Hey, Henry! You got to try some of these meatballs!" Jasper said to him through a mouthful of food.

"Look, I get why you all thought I was the one who turned up the ball speed, but maybe it wasn't me. Maybe it was someone else. Like Charlotte." The crowd gasp at the accusation.

"She was always jealous ever since Debbie beat her in the Swellview spelling bee." (y/n) told them.

"Well, you all know that trophy should've been mine." Charlotte hissed to the crowd.

"Or, it could've been Jasper." Henry pointed to the boy who was still preoccupied with the meatballs.

"Who's never forgotten that Debbie used to mock his buckets." (y/n) decided she was the one who got to spill the tea.

"Never forget," Jasper said to Debbie as he ate another ball.

"Or maybe, it could've been Piper." Henry wasn't beneath accusing his own sister.

"Hey, I didn't even want to come to this party last year. Or this year. What am I doing here?" The little girl complained.

"Or maybe, it was Sydney or Oliver." The boys looked petrified at the allegation.

"They got detention after Debbie told the teacher that they were eating bugs." (y/n) looked to the crowd, who then stared at the gross boys.

"The point is, we know who really changed the ball speed and knocked Debbie off the roof. And we have proof!" The two smiled at the crowd and gave each other a high five when the crowd burst into a gossiping chatter.

"Then show us!" Debbie snapped.

"We will, girl, chill!" (y/n) growled back, not liking how bratty the birthday was being.

"But first, we're gonna go get ourselves a meatball. We'll be back after a short break. And then, everybody's going to know the truth!" Henry shouted into the mic, wanting to keep them all in suspense.

"Sing Call Me Maybe, lady!" Oliver yelled to (y/n).

"I'M NOT SINGING!" She screamed, making Henry grabbed her wrist and drag her to the snack table. Stuffing a few meatballs in his mouth, he looked up at the young woman and wondering why she wasn't eating. Following her eyes across the busy floor, he saw Ray talking to Miss Swellview.

"How can I apologise when all he can focus on is her?" She mumbled with glossy eyes.

"Just go up to him and say "Hey Captain Man! Can I bask in your awesomeness and speak with you for a moment?". And then he'll be all yours!" Henry joked at her, and she took in a deep breath.

"Are you sure he doesn't hate me?" he looked at the boy in his eyes.

"Yeah! He lo--knows you care about him and that you were having a rough day." Henry corrected himself before (y/n) could hear his mistake. Whilst she was mulling over his words, the teen blew out his cheeks, stressed that he nearly gave away Ray's biggest secret to the one person he wouldn't let find out.

"Okay, I'll do it. I'll go over and tell him I'm sorry and we can be friends again." She said, more to herself than anyone else, trying to gather her courage.

With a final nod to Henry, she worked her way through the crowd, dodging dancing kids and various staff members. Seeing Ray through the sea of people, she timidly walked up behind him and tapped his shoulder. He turned around, still smiling from his conversation with Miss Swellview, but when he saw who wanted him, it dropped. His stomach felt queasy, wondering if she was here to argue with him.

"Captain Man, can I speak with you?" She said to him as softly as she could. He saw how clammy her hands were and how she'd them tangled together to stop them from shaking with nerves. 

"Of course, citizen, please excuse me, Miss Swellview." Ray gave a dashing smile to the young girl, who promptly went off to talk to the birthday girl, leaving the two alone.

"So, what do you wanna talk about?" His voice was more like his normal one since it was just the two of them. He no longer needed to be a superhero despite the uniform he was wearing. When he was with her, it was like everyone else in the room disappeared and he was no longer Captain Man, just Ray and his (y/n).

"I---" Her voice broke, and her face crumpled as two days worth of tears broke free of her emotional dam. Ray reacted instantaneously, grabbing her elbows and taking her further into the shady corner. Seeing that no one was paying them any mind, for the time being, he brushed the tears off her cheeks with gloved fingers and she swallowed the lump in her throat.

"I'm so sorry for being m-mean to you these past couple days, I'm s-sorry." She managed to say through her hiccups. Ray didn't reply, just gathered her in his arms and curled her into his chest. Nuzzling to his shoulder, they stayed like that for a couple minutes, just holding each other in a silent apology. Her sobbing eventually came to a stop and she pulled back with a sad smile.

"I got your shoulder wet." She said, gesturing to the dark stain on his costume.

"It's worth it to have my friend back." He smiled at her, and she giggled, everything falling back into place for them. They gave each other one final hug when she saw that Henry was ready to reveal the real culprit behind Debbie's fall.

"I should go wrap this thing up." She said to Ray and he nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, the kid needs you." She gave him one last smile and walked over to Henry by the door.

"Hey! How'd it go?" Henry asked her with a smirk. In truth, he'd watched the whole thing from across the room and saw how Ray clung to her like he was afraid she would disappear if he let go.

"Good, everything's fine." She grinned at him.

"Then let's do this thing." He lifted the microphone and addressed the crowd.

"Okay, first I'd like to say... Great meatballs." He said looking at the Putch family, who all had their arms crossed.

"And now the proof that one year ago today I was not the person responsible for Debbie being knocked off the roof." Henry carried on.

"Using this phone, we will now show you actual photos taken just before Debbie's party last year." Everyone mumbled amongst themselves at (y/n)'s words as she pointed to the phone Henry was holding up. She noticed that Ray was with Miss Swellview again, but for now, she was just happy to not be fighting with him. 

"Pic one. Here you see Jasper wiping his sweaty hand on Charlotte." Henry described the picture that he mirrored on a large monitor. Charlotte turned around and looked at a guilty Jasper.

"And to the left, you can see Sydney and Oliver eating bugs. No surprise there." (y/n) pointed at the boys in the photo.

"I haven't eaten a bug since Passover!" Sydney protested, even though his words didn't help his case.

"I'm eating a bug right now," Oliver said in his monotone voice, crushing the insect between his teeth. Everyone stared in repulsion.

"But look closer and...what's that we see in the background? Hmm?" Henry refocused the group, zooming in on the picture, so they could see Piper.

""It's Henry's little sister Piper upset about something as usual," Piper said nothing but bit her lip in irritation.

"Pic two. Here we have a clearer image of Piper. And as you can see, she's really mad about her broken phone. So she's throwing it." Henry flicked to the next image, one where Piper was launching her phone across the floor, a deep scowl etched on her face.

"So what?" She yelled, starting to get nervous.

"We're glad you asked. Pic three!" Henry put up the final photo, the one with the revelation.

"Here, we can see Henry, standing innocently by the ball machine. And when we zoom in..." (y/n) had butterflies in her stomach, ready for what was coming next.

"You can see Piper's phone hitting the 11 button," Henry said. The truth was out. 

Everyone's mouths fell open in shock and Henry and (y/n) shook their hands in success, glad they had each other for support.

"Oh my god!"

"Piper did it!" Charlotte cried.

"Security!" Debbie called for the men on the doors to come and take Piper away.

"But--but...it wasn't my fault! I didn't know my phone would hit the button! I'm a victim! I'm a victim! I want to talk to a lawyer!" She shrieked as the men picked her up and dragged her through the door kicking and screaming. Once she was gone, the party resumed and Ray turned to the woman beside him.

"So, Miss Swellview, since I assume there isn't a Mr Swellview, I was wondering if you might want to..." Ray was cut off as a man came next to the beauty queen and put his arm around her.

"Walk away." He said, knowing that his status as Captain Man was imposing. With the man backing off, Ray smiled and put his arm around the girl's waist.

~

"Hey, ignore him and come party with us," Henry said, noticing that (y/n) was watching them with a downcast expression.

"I'm not so bad that I need to party with teenagers to get over how stupid I am." She chuckled, her heart softening at how sweet the kid was.

"When was the last time you just let go and had some real fun?" Henry put his hands on his hips.

"Hey! I'll have you know that I'm a real party animal under this sensible exterior. But when you run a superhero's secret hideout, your fun side falls to the back burner." She said to the boy, a hand on his shoulder.

"So let the animal out! Just come and have a good time!" She looked at Henry, then at Ray who was cuddling up to Miss Swellview and finally at the joyful kids dancing and eating their hearts out.

"Fine, but don't hold me to anything I do from here on out!" She laughed and they mixed into the crowd. 

(y/n) hadn't danced like that in ages and Henry could see the young woman in her bursting out. Her job was stressful and it meant that she often pushed the youth in her heart out of the way, so her logic and rational brain could take the reins. The kids didn't seem to mind the age gap, her bubbly and exuberant personality making her seem so much younger.

"Henry, we are so sorry we blamed you." Mrs Putch pulled them out from the dancing and Debbie looked at them with an apologetic face.

"Especially me." The girl said, but Henry and (y/n) weren't going to be angry on her birthday.

"Well, I'm sorry that my little sister almost killed you," Henry said back.

"Hey... things happen." (y/n) settled between the teens and Mrs Putch nodded at her words.

"Absolutely. Sorry I don't believe I got your name?" The blonde woman held out her hand for (y/n) to shake.

"Oh right, I'm (y/n). Henry works for me and my friend. We worked together to figure everything out." She quickly explained as she shook her hand with a smile.

"Then you're welcome to stay." Debbie smiled at the older girl.

"Mom, I'm going to jump on the trampoline right by the edge of the roof," Debbie said, turning to her mother. (y/n) thought about how bad of an idea it was but, Debbie was off before she could mention it.

"Hey, Mrs Putch?" Sydney approached her.

"Yeah?" 

"A balloon got stuck up there by that light." He pointed to the ceiling, drawing their attention to the trapped balloon.

"That could start a fire." (y/n) pointed out and Mrs Putch looked worried.

"Hey, no worries, I'll climb up there and get it." Henry offered, but (y/n) looked at him in concern.

"Woah, woah, woah, that sounds dangerous." She said, stopping Henry before he could dash off.

"Eh, this kid can handle danger. Hold my meatball." He smirked at her with a knowing look and passed her the snack. 

The two adults watched as he climbed up the lighting rig, Debbie still jumping on the trampoline.

"Yay! This is my best birthday ever." She exclaimed. Henry dislodged the balloon and threw it back onto the floor.

"I fixed it!" He yelled.

"Thank you!" Mrs Putch beamed back.

"Hey, Henry! Jump down!" Sydney shouted at his friend.

"Wait, Henry, no!" (y/n) saw what was about to happen, seeing the physics that revolved around two people jumping on a trampoline at that same time. Sadly, Henry had already let go by the time she cried out, leaving her to just what the disaster that unfolded.

The rebound from Henry hitting the opposite end of the trampoline forced Debbie over the side of the roof, echoing what happened one year ago. Everyone rushed to the side of the ledge, as Debbie screamed and Henry looked horrified. 

The poor girl was laying on top of a puppy, groaning in pain.

"Whiskers? Whiskers, are you okay?" The dog walker tugged on the leash, but the dog had been squashed by the impact of Debbie's fall.

"My name is not Whiskers." She grumbled as Mrs Putch phoned for an ambulance. Looking at Henry, (y/n) shook her head, joining him on the trampoline. 

"You really know how to find trouble, don't you?" She said to the cringing boy, who looked at her in despair.

"Oh boy, am I gonna get in trouble?" He panicked.

"Ehhh, maybe, I don't know. Technically, it was Sydney's idea, so Mrs Putch might forgive you." The woman reasoned.

"And Debbie?" They both looked down at the girl.

"Yeah, no. She's gonna hate you forever." All Henry could do was throw his head back and groan.

[workingforitallthetime]

I know it‘s been a few years but I still occasionally think of ‚ain't like anywhere else‘. You‘ve probably moved on completely… But what did you have in mind for chapter 2? 👀🥺

this ask prompted me to open the google doc for the first time in years, so what the hell, let's exhume some remains and do some self-reflection about why part 2 was never going to work.

(all of the bits that follow are unedited material straight from the draft. i hope i've become a better writer than this over the past three years.)

Here's the opening paragraph:

Trevor was meant to be here. Not like he was born in the wrong place, since he’d never give up his birthright of New York obnoxiousness, but like it was all building to this. It’s never too hot. His body can’t soak up enough sunshine, hair sun-kissed, skin turning a permanent California brown. He’s trying to turn Jamie into a Californian but he’s stubbornly Canadian. Fishbelly white no matter how much time they spend in the sun.

the main reason part 2 didn't work is that there was really no reason for me to write my own take on the jamie/trevor origin story. it's been done, and by better writers than me. i just didn't feel the compulsion to write it, unlike the trevor/cole story, which was all mine.

anyway, the plan was to set up some tzjd undefined hooking up during their first season, and then have them stick around in california for the start of the offseason, and have cole come visit after the habs lost in the stanley cup finals (wow, remember when that happened?)

A week and a half later, there he is, waving at Trevor under the overhang at arrivals. Cole’s the most solid body Trevor knows. Dense, like he’s vacuum-packed down to size. Hugging him is like colliding with a mailbox. He presses his face into Trevor’s neck, quick, and Trevor’s not going to read anything into that. That’s just as high as Cole’s face goes.

cole's expecting trevor to get right back to hooking up with him, and trevor's not going to resist. meanwhile jamie still expects trevor to be hooking up with him. trevor sneaks in and out of bedrooms for an awkward few days. there was going to be a golf scene with cam york rounding out the foursome. i did not write any of this. here is an excerpt from my notes:

Need multiple instances of cole and jamie kind of flirting, or cole flirting with jamie and trevor able to tell that jamie likes it, and trevor’s kind of furious but he can’t say anything about it because he’s hooking up with both of them

eventually cole sees trevor sneaking out of jamie's bedroom and cole and jamie have a little talk and cole is unfazed and jamie's mind is blown. then here is the only bit i actually wrote:

It’s silent for a moment in the main room. Then Cole’s raspy voice says something, too low for Trevor to catch over the grind of the icemaker. He lifts his cup off the lever in time to hear Jamie bark a laugh in response. “Sure, yeah.” Trevor can see the TV from the refrigerator, but not the far side of the couch, where they’re sitting. He sloshes vodka over his ice, adds a splash of the first juice he sees, some pomegranate bullshit Trace left in the fridge, and rounds the corner just in time to see Cole climbing into Jamie’s lap. Kneeling over Jamie and smiling, always fucking smiling, he takes Jamie’s face in his hands and kisses him. “What the fuck?” Trevor says loudly, managing not to drop his drink on the floor. They ignore him so completely it has to be on purpose. Jamie’s eyes are closed, face tilted upward to Cole’s. Cole smiles against Jamie’s lips and rakes a hand backward through his hair, tipping Jamie’s head back so he can press in closer, kiss him deeper. Trevor knows what this is like from every possible angle. Knows what it’s like to have Cole in his lap, his smiling kisses, knows what’s under Jamie’s hands as they smooth down Cole’s back and settle on his ass. Knows what it’s like to get hard against Jamie’s stomach, feel Jamie hard underneath him. It’s like an out of body experience, seeing it all happen in front of him while he’s on the other side of the room. Jamie slips a hand under the hem of Cole’s tank top, and Trevor knows how the smooth muscles of his obliques feel, knows without even being able to see it that Jamie’s working a thumb under Cole’s waistband, rubbing it over his hipbone. He was first. He’s the tallest. And they’re just ignoring him.

i did also have some notes for the dialogue that eventually followed:

“And you could have told me you were banging your roommate now?”

“We’re not banging.”

“Oh, what are you calling it then?”

[] “Whatever you and I were doing.”

“Did Jamie get his dick sucked?”

“No?” Trevor says uncertainly, wriggling a little in Jamie’s lap. He would have sucked Jamie’s dick if he’d thought of it. That should count for something.

Jamie, patiently: “Nobody’s getting his dick sucked.”

“Trevor got his dick sucked and he owes me.”

Jamie tugs at his hair again. “I think he should pay up.”

“You can suck Jamie’s dick after. He did get silver.”

........i mean, maybe i could have made this dynamic work, if i'd gotten it written in that era. but probably not. i was much better served turning my attention to umich.

[sagiow]

15 questions

tagged by @tough-n-dumb, thanks friend!

Were you named after anyone?

Not “after”, per se, but my dad “discovered” my name after making a new friend in the glorious Montreal Red Light Disco District... who turned out to be an Italian exotic male dancer (he never told my mom that’s where he got the inspiration from until 30-some years later)

My middle name is my mom’s because my frazzled, mid-20s, overwhelmed first-time parents hadn’t thought of one before he went to register my birth so he kinda blanked and went with hers and she was pissed off because she doesn’t  like her name.

0/2, Papa.

When was the last time you cried?

Some time in the last month.

Do you have kids?

Two, elementary school age, although the eldest is solidly in his tweens and giving me a fantastic preview of the fun years ahead.

Do you use sarcasm?

Just did, didn’t I?

Actually, much less than I used to when I was younger. Mostly for joking around  or ranting about our incompetent colleagues with my work wife.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Not to sound like a hippie on Main, but I’d say their energy? Their vibe? Some people come off as very warm, and others colder (and some, downright antipathic). Some have this bubbling, crackling energy to them, others are super chill and calm. Some have this spark of intelligence or quick wit about them, and others make you wonder if there’s anybody home. So a bit of all of that.

A smile, greeting and eye contact (can all be super quick, just acknowledge you see the other person) go a long way in giving off good vibes, so we’ll definitely start on the wrong foot if the other person doesn’t do any of those. Be polite.

What’s your eye color?

Brown

Scary movies or happy endings?

I don’t like scary / horror movies with gore and torture. I do enjoy a good ghost story (the Gothicker, the better) and some psychological horror.

Love happy endings although unhappy ones definitely inspire a lot more fanfic.

Any special talents?

I never look at the picture when doing jigsaw puzzles and WILL complete it before you do.

Where were you born?

Province of Québec, Canada

What are your hobbies?

Phew... there’s a few, and they tend to be seasonal. Summer is reading, hiking, baseball, gardening, camping. Other seasons have baking, crochet, watching TV, playing old-school computer games, and getting ready for whatever holiday or birthday is upcoming. Puzzles and writing year-round (if inspiration striked and fellow fans are around!)

Have any pets?

2 cats (and often at least another because we are a foster family to our local rescue), 2 rabbits and 4 3 chicken (found one dead yesterday after that major storm / tornado passed. Her ancient 3 year old heart couldn’t handle it. RIP Matante.)

What sports do/have you played?

Phew... there’s a few there too. I’m always down to play pretty much anything with a ball (beach volleyball! street ball hockey!), but on the other hand, will probably get my Canadian citizenship revoked at some point because I do no winter sport except for snowshoeing and some shitty skating.

I played provincial-level softball and badminton in school. I did recreational synchronized swimming, various styles of dance, varsity basketball. Now, I play softball, tennis (although my dad is aggressively trying to draft me into pickleball), try to get in a game of golf or two per summer (every addition to this sentence makes me feel 10 years older). In non-summer, I practice aikido, and love hiking, especially in the fall.

How tall are you?

5′7″, or 170cm

Favorite subject at school?

History and Drama in High School, Anthropology and some of my Forensics classes in University (”no applied science”, you ask? meh, not really. Science was me playing Life on Safe Mode).

Dream Job?

I would’ve loved to study Anthropology further and become an archeologist (although I did take one Biological / Genetic Anthro class that was absolutely fascinating and made me reconsider Things) but I’d had enough Academia back then. I wanted to get a job, stop being beyond broke, and travel.

Nowadays I get this massive urge to dump everything corporate and move someplace with shorter, kinder winters, ideally not too far from the sea, and get a bunch of goats and chicken, fruit trees and grapevines, grow a shitload of tomatoes and eggplant, bake bread daily, and write in the evenings. Just need to win the lottery first but then I’m makin’ it happen.

tagging (apologies for the double tags if you got them, I lost track) @jomiddlemarch, @tortoisesshells, @fericita-s, @combat-librarian, @divinecomedienne, @luarenah

[cordycepsfem]

Pageboy Readthrough, Part Four

Previously

EP talks about her complicated relationship with her mom

Mom made her do things like wear dresses and tights and barrettes

Mom was worried about EP's future as a GNC person/potential lesbian/little strange kid

your reviewer says that's normal, even if it's unkind

we learned that EP's mom thinks boys should not be friends

your reviewer says that's not normal

your reviewer got maudlin at the end of it all and it was kinda a bummer

You can find previous parts of this readthrough here.

Now

Chapter Five

Jesus Christ we start off with this boat thing again

I am so sorry Halifax that for the short time I was in you I was eating waffles and buying doughnuts and trying not to get a parking ticket and not paying attention to your obviously super important maritime disaster issue

I will do better next time

EP should just write a book about this disaster - it can't be any less readable

but if you want to read an actual book about the disaster that's already written may I recommend this one

anyway sorry what was the point of this?

oh: the anchor from this ship explosion is 2 minutes away from where EP's dad lived

we learn more about maritime history - seriously, EP, think about it

Dad was a graphic designer with a mini golf hole thing in his office

EP imagines herself as the next Ernie Els (and yes I am proud that I didn't need to look up the name of an actual golfer, you are correct)

as far as I can tell no one tells EP that women also play golf

it goes from ships and golf to "oh, shit" in the way that one reacts to a sad disaster, because I now feel bad for EP who is clearly not well:

Really, lady? You published this? I can't decide if this is a "Buddhist one with the whole world" thing or a cry for help, because when I felt this way - that I was a meaningless speck in the universe - the people who loved me got me help.

Also, last time I checked meaningless specks don't get acting jobs or book contracts, so... perhaps not so "almost nothing," hey, EP?

EP gets a stepmother

the stepmother comes with two children

the stepmother had a waterbed (the only one EP has ever seen) and works as a food stylist

as a digression here, has anyone ever seen more than one waterbed? because I was thinking about it and I have only seen exactly one waterbed in my life

EP has a crush on Sandra Bullock, who stars in a movie that EP's stepmother "food styles" for

later in life she has dinner with Sandy and Sandy is great

EP starts to tell us about how she was a picky eater but for some reason devolves into a story about a Canadian lighthouse

we eventually get to the point that she was a picky eater and she was forced to eat things she didn't like

EP and her dad and her stepmother and the two stepsiblings all move in together

we learn more Canadian history here which I swear I would be very into if that was what kind of book I was told this would be

the one boy I ever dated before realizing I was a lesbian was super into Canada in a way that is extreme for someone who is not Canadian, and I enjoyed experiencing Canadian culture with him rather than trying to come up with new excuses why I didn't want to kiss or hold hands, so please believe me when I say I am all about Canada

like any human with a new room EP is excited to decorate

EP gets dreamy about having a stepbrother

like, really dreamy

by this we can infer that no one told EP the following things:

girls can remove their shirts that way as well

girls also have torsos and can wear dangling chains

anything you can buy in the supermarket will not change your sex, including Old Spice

ETA: I came back here because a "dab" and a "dollop" are two specific unspecific measurement units that don't interact, like ounces and inches, and it finally got to me that I didn't include it. You can "dab" cologne, you cannot "dollop" cologne unless you are literally pouring it over yourself in a ladle. If EP was doing that, I retract my remark.

the next part makes me super unhappy as someone who knows how physically capable boys, especially boys who play sports, are and how powerful they can be

but Scott manages not to paralyze EP

he just continues to be a prick, as does EP's stepmother

also, I have two siblings and we were never rough in the way that EP says Scott was - maybe because they're both female?

EP enjoys Playmobil and still likes to play alone

EP gets ready to go on an adventure, like a normal kid might, only to have her terrible stepfamily tease her

I am so sorry, EP, please go back to Canadian history

Dad was nicer when Linda wasn't around (shocker, men are a bummer)

also a bummer: this step mom

at this point I will now fight anyone EP directs me to fight on her behalf

I know it's a whiplash but seriously:

I was a weird kid. I was a lot. And yet never did my parents make me feel like I was wrong. They pointed out that I did things differently, or liked different things, and that the things I liked and did might not match up with what other people thought someone like me should do. But mostly they let me do what made me happy, to an appropriate extent.

They never mocked me when I was caught up in a world of elaborate fantasy. I went on lots of "adventures" to the point where I still call any unexpected journey, especially one I get to choose, be it to the 7-11 or the pharmacy, an "adventure," because it shakes up the day a bit.

They didn't shield me from some social consequences of being weird but they taught me that being myself was really more important. And they never asked me Why aren't you like them?

In fact, as the years have gone on and I've struggled with my mental and physical health, with employment, with my sexuality and my body, with living close to poverty, with everything - I have been the one asking my parents Are you ashamed I'm not like them? in regards to their friends' kids. Not a doctor, not a lawyer, not a mom?

And every single time, No. You're the one we love. You are on a journey that is uniquely yours and we are blessed to be a part of it. Unconditionally, without a second thought.

And as the designated "weirdo" in all of my growing-up-school years, I would have been EP's friend in an instant. We could have bonded over our short haircuts and picky eating and been the two weirdos together. Then neither of us would have been alone.

... and I guess we end this part same as we did the last one, with me super bummed and marginally more educated about Canadian history.

[haunted-the-vagabond]

WHO IS THIS GUY?

Yo!

My name's Ryan, aka HAUNTED THE VAGABOND, aka HAUNTED, aka HAUNT, aka some other nickname that I have gained over the year, like... Fademan Haunt or something, call me what you like!

I'm a 28-year-old, asexual icon who goes by he/him pronouns, and I am a Canadian originally from Saskatchewan, but currently living in British Columbia.

I work as a Radio DJ by day, and I do a bunch of other stuff on the side, like streaming, podcasting, and being a pro wrestling announcer!

Big music guy, beginning to collect vinyl, hoping to get a sick setup soon. I do have a heavy leaning towards rock, metal, prog, punk, and hardcore, but I fuck with a lot of shit, and I'm always hunting for more stuff to listen to, open to all suggestions!

FIVE ALBUMS TO GET TO KNOW ME:

Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here: Essential Floyd, everyone talks about Dark Side or The Wall, but Wish You Were Here is where it's at. Best album to put on and get lost in it

Deftones - Koi No Yokan: Top to bottom there isn't a song that isn't a bop or a banger on KNY. From "Swerve City" to "Tempest" to "Entombed", all heat

Pharoah Sanders - Pharoah: If you have a Sunday where you gotta do a bunch of housework, maybe it's raining, put on Pharoah, it's something you'll remember forever

Jessie Ware - What's Your Pleasure?: I'm not a Fantano fan by any stretch, but I gotta thank him for putting me on Jessie Ware. A modern disco album that fucks this hard? That's rare as hell!

Death Grips - Powers That B: "Black Quarterback" is my Fuck Shit Up song, "On GP" makes me emotional, great album

SPORTS

Big sports guy, I'll watch damn near anything from Hockey to Darts, if there is competition, I'm in there.

TEAMS/ATHLETES I SUPPORT:

Hockey: Vancouver Canucks (Main), Winnipeg Jets, Ottawa Senators, Philadelphia Flyers, PWHL Minnesota, Prince George Cougars (WHL)

Football: Saskatchewan Roughriders (CFL), Seattle Seahawks (NFL)

Baseball: Toronto Blue Jays (Main), LA Dodgers, St. Louis Cardinals

Basketball: San Antonio Spurs (Main), Toronto Raptors, Saskatchewan Rattlers (CEBL)

Soccer: Machester United (EPL), Vancouver Whitecaps FC (MLS)

College Sports: Michigan Wolverines (NCAA), Saskatchewan Huskies (USPORTS)

Lacross: Saskatchewan Rush

Combat Sports: Israel Adesanya (UFC), Tyson Fury (Boxing), Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston (AEW), CM Punk, Kevin Owens, and Sami Zayn (WWE)

Golf: Tiger Woods

Video Games

I like them.

FIVE GAMES TO GET TO KNOW ME:

VA-11 Hall-A: Cyberpunk Bartending Action: Easily my favorite VN, entertaining characters, engaging world, I wanna get lost in it.

Halo 3: ODST: What if the cast of Firefly were in Halo and listened to a lot of Jazz? Yeah, peak.

Transistor: This is a beautiful game, it has a wonderful story and, a lovely soundtrack, a must-play if you love Supergiant games.

Hotline Miami: Soundtracks go a long way to elevate a game, and Hotline Miami is no different. Hotline Miami also boasts some real fast-paced, addictive gameplay. #TonyTime

Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne: Gameplay of a John Woo film fantastic noir story, Max Payne is one of the great characters in the medium.

Movies

I watch them.

FIVE MOVIES TO GET TO KNOW ME:

Clerks: Kevin Smith is one of my favorite directors, and Clerks is my all-time favorite comedy.

The Raid 2: If you loved the Raid, then you owe it to yourself to watch the Raid 2, it's just the Raid with a story, and it's fantastic!

Rocky: There are a lot of Rocky films, counting Creed as well, but nothing tops the first Rocky movie, the best top-to-bottom film in the series.

Porco Rosso: Everyone loves Spirited Away or Howl's Moving Castle, and they are right to do some, Miyazaki is one of the GOATs for a reason. But in my eyes, his best film is Porco Rosso. The landscape shots showcase his love of the Adriatic and Italy, the characters are lovely, and the dub, oh my goodness Michael Keaton as Porco is *chef's kiss*

Treasure Planet: Peak Disney movie, hyper fixated on it as a kid, and still love it to this day.

Anime

They alright.

FIVE ANIMES TO GET TO KNOW ME:

BECK Mongolian Chop Squad: This is the quintessential HAUNT anime. Very down-to-earth, simple but engaging story about someone finding their place in the world. In Beck's case, it's Koiyuki becoming this amazing singer/rhythm guitarist, and helping Beck become a premiere band in Japan.

Gurren Lagann: It's mother fuckin Gurren Lagann man, go watch it.

Steins;Gate: The group chat between me and some of my closest homies is called Future Gadget Labs NA, if that doesn't tell you how much this show brought me and my friends together, then I don't know what else to tell you. Never played the VN but the Anime was great!

Samurai Champloo: Life-changing anime, changed my whole perspective on music and my relationship to it. Helps that the show is GAS, with one of the hardest dubs out there.

Eden of the East: Just a straight up solid show with some good movies attached to it.

Fandom Shit

I don't really participate in a lot of Fandom discussion, I just will reblog stuff I like from my interest. An avid fan of D&D, Wrestling, Fighting Games, Hockey, Football, Anime, and a bunch of other crap I'm forgetting about.

So that's me, if you like what you see, hit me up!

[margonozako]

Beans Critical Analysis

Beans (2020), directed and co-written by Tracey Deer, is a semi-autobiographical film that follows Tekahentahkhwa (“Beans”) during the Oka Crisis (July through September of 1990). This violent conflict between a group of Mohawk people and the town of Oka in Quebec, Canada, in a way, began centuries before when the Mohawk (the most easterly section of the Iroquois Confederacy, located in southeast Canada and northern New York state) first settled in the area in the late 1660s1. However, this specific event arose because “The Pines” (indigenous land) and a nearby Mohawk cemetery were to be cleared to expand a golf course and build new condos. While not all residents of Oka supported the plan, the mayor refused to discuss and hear from the people. By the end, the crisis was successful in halting the development, but resulted in two killed and over one hundred wounded.

Tracey Deer, who was born and raised in Kahnawake (one of the Mohawk communities in the region of Oka), was 12 when she lived through this crisis. In the grand scheme of things, there are very few who could be entrusted to create a film on this specific event, and luckily, Deer is one of those. This won’t be a tale of the white savior entirely misunderstanding and misrepresenting colonization conflict! A nice change of pace.

Critical Race Theory

Critical Race Theory is at the heart of this film. It’s centered around an undeniably racialized conflict: First-Nations (and their supporters) vs. Colonizers. But, as mentioned previously, this is co-written and directed by a Mohawk woman who grew up in this community and experienced this conflict first-hand (the other writer is Meredith Vuchnich and it seems as though she is not indigenous). As we all know, relations between indigenous populations and settlers around the world are violent and oppressive, to say the least. Speaking for myself, I am most familiar with the North American history and from what I know, it is relatively representative of global indigenous genocide. So, what is so special about this film is that it is a coming of age story that takes place during a widely unrelatable historic moment and proves that the fight for sovereignty is not over. We’ve all been Beans: should she go to the private school she was accepted to? Are her new friends good for her? But also will her community succeed in the protection of their land? Deer sets the story during a somewhat recent conflict, proving the battle for sovereignty is not over as some might like to believe. In their article “Colonialism, Racism, and Representation: An Introduction,” Stam and Spence write that “[a]n ethnocentric vision rooted in North American cultural patterns can lead, similarly, to the ‘racialising’, or the introjection of racial themes into, filmic situations”2. I would argue that Beans is a functional execution of this idea: Tekahentahkhwa is just a pre-teen coming into a difficult world as she witnesses Canadians and their government fight against her existence and right to save her land. Stam and Spence also write specifically about indigenous populations, arguing that the “attitude toward the Indian is premised on exteriority”2 and the “besieged wagon train or fort is the focus of our attention and sympathy, and from this center our familiars sally out against unknown attackers characterized by inexplicable customs and irrational hostility”2 (2009, 759). While this is true in wider film history, I would argue that it is only partially true in Beans because Deer brings us onto the reservation and into Beans’ family. We’re not viewing the Mohawk community from the outside and watch them be victimized by white Candians. The viewer does not pity them and is more familiar with the attackers. However, it is clear that the hostility of the Canadians is irrational and wildly disproportionate (considering there should not have been a conflict in the first place because they were proposing to steal even more Mohawk land). Deer deftly navigates a relatable coming of age 90s story and the experience of indigenous women and populations in modern history. 

Montage Theory

Another theoretical approach that this film utilizes is the montage. I love a good montage, especially if it makes use of archival footage of historical events, and Deer does this flawlessly in Beans. She intercuts the narrative with footage of the actual protests to provide context and transition during the film. If we follow Sergei Ėjzenštejn’s Soviet Montage Theory, I would argue that Deer employs a metric overtonal, not just tonal, montage, because “movement is perceived in a wider sense”3 and it’s “based on the characteristic emotional sound of the piece,”3 but “it is distinguishable from tonal montage by the collective calculation of all the piece’s appeals”3. Furthermore, these archival montages are “capable of impelling the spectator to reproduce the perceived action, outwardly,”3 meaning Deer is looking to evoke an emotional reaction as the viewer is confronted with undeniable, clear evidence of the vitriol and hatred of the white Canadians. Through it direct confrontation, Deer sets a emotional tone, lest the viewers forget that Beans is not simply a coming of age film: Tekahentahkhwa and her family are battling a centuries-long genocide, something that most pre-teens are unfamiliar with. The structuring and score of almost every single montage is identical, creating an overarching tone conveyed by her. Many of these montages are accompanied by the newscasters’ voiceovers and a tight, quick, string-heavy score, almost reminiscent of a horror film, which I believe sets the consummate haunting tone and reveals the “psychological turmoil of [the] characters”4.

Beans is an amazing movie about an event that I, hate to admit it, had never heard of. I loved how Deer balanced a coming of age story with a violent crisis that is simply one event in a long history of colonial oppression by white settlers. Viewing this film through the lenses of Critical Race theory and Soviet Montage theory enhances her storytelling abilities and allows the viewer to melt into Beans’ world.

Sources:

Ėjzenštejn, Sergei. “Methods of Montage.” In The Film Form: Essays in Film Theory, translated by Jay Leyda, 72-83. New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1949.

Melinda, Meng. “Bloody Blockades: The Legacy of the Oka Crisis.” Harvard International Review, 30 June 2020. https://hir.harvard.edu/bloody-blockades-the-legacy-of-the-oka-crisis/.

Pudovkin, Vsevolod. “From Film Technique [On Editing].” In Film Theory and Criticism: Introductory Readings, edited by Leo Braudy and Marshall Cohen, 7-12. New York: Oxford University Press, 2009.

Stam, Robert, and Louise Spence. “Colonialism, Racism, and Representation: An Introduction.” In Film Theory and Criticism: Introductory Readings, edited by Leo Braudy and Marshall Cohen, 751–66. New York: Oxford University Press, 2009. 

[bunkershotgolf]

Apes Hill Barbados Garners Two Luxury Lifestyle Awards

Caribbean Property Cited as Best Real Estate Developer and Best Sustainable Residential Development

Apes Hill Barbados, the spectacular, new golf resort and real-estate community, today announces that it has received two honors from Luxury Lifestyle Awards – Best Luxury Real Estate Developer in Barbados and Best Luxury Sustainable Residential Development.

The awards are “in recognition of the outstanding work done by Apes Hill Barbados to develop a golf resort and community of immense beauty and commitment to sustainable living in the island.”

Luxury Lifestyle Awards is a global award recognizing the best luxury places, goods, and services globally. Luxury Lifestyle Awards has evaluated more than 10,000 entities in 400 categories from 60 countries and analyzed the results to glean the world’s finest luxury places and things.

“These awards are immensely important and deeply appreciated because environmental and sustainability best practices are essential to Apes Hill Barbados,” said Sunil Chatrani, Executive Chairman, Apes Hill Barbados. “We’ve taken great care to design a living experience that is of premium quality for individuals, couples and families looking for a setting that helps them prioritize the important things in life: family, friendships, health, and connection to nature. That is what life at Apes Hill Barbados is all about.”

Apes Hill Barbados is a 475-acre property of incredible elegance located in the Parish of Saint James on the west coast of the culturally vibrant and historically rich Barbados. The island is famed for its history, beauty, designer shops and world class restaurants. It also boasts some of the best golf courses in the Caribbean, with Apes Hill rating No. 5 in the Caribbean, Mexico, Costa Rica, and the Atlantic Islands (Source: Golfweek’s “Best You Can Play”).

Sustainability is at the forefront of the resort’s long-term DNA – designed to make it the most environmentally responsible golf course and development in the Caribbean. Underscoring this mandate is Apes Hill Barbados’ work with Audubon International, the non-profit organization that helps places employ environmental best practices and protect the areas where people live, work, and play.

Golf fairways and tees have been re-laid using the more drought tolerant Zoysia Zorro grass and the greens with TifEagle. The resistance of these grasses to insects also further reduces the reliance on fertilization and use of pesticides, with a view to Apes Hill Barbados eventually becoming chemical-free.

Apes Hill Barbados is owned by Apes Hill (Barbados) Inc., a Barbadian company whose primary shareholder is Glenn J. Chamandy, a Canadian investor, founder, and CEO of leading clothing brand Gildan Activewear. Chamandy purchased the property in 2019 and embarked on an ambitious project to redefine golfing and estate living on the Caribbean Island.

Apes Hill Barbados has a uniquely laid back and tranquil atmosphere that provides the perfect setting for inspired living at a pace of ease. There are several residential options available, including The Hilltop Residences, which are contemporary single-story golf course homes overlooking the par-3 course and 19th hole all while offering westerly vistas. Other options include three-bedroom Courtyard Villas and detached homes in Seaview Ridge that enjoy uninterrupted views and overlook the first fairway.

Amenities at Apes Hill Barbados will include a wellness centre, several kilometers of enchanting nature trails, flood-lit Padel courts, TigerTurf tennis courts, spa, dining, and bespoke outdoor and well-being activities as well as a dedicated concierge service, among other top-class amenities. Apes Hill Barbados’ golfing credentials are just as impressive – the 18-hole championship golf course was designed by the legendary Ron Kirby and opened for play in November 2022, and the state-of-the-art Golf Performance Centre debuted last month.

Apes Hill Barbados is also home to a developing range of accommodation options, with a portfolio of stunning real estate on site alongside golf vacation properties set to allow guests to stay and play from later this year.

For more information: www.apeshill.com

About Apes Hill Barbados

At 1,000 feet above sea level, Apes Hill Barbados is the most elevated golf resort and community in Barbados, spanning 475 acres made up of lush tropical vegetation, indigenous gullies and rare panoramic ocean views of both the Atlantic Ocean and Caribbean Sea. Set within the undulating topography of the Central Highlands, and hugging the geologically unique Scotland District, it is home to an 18-hole, par-72 Championship golf course which is complemented by state-of-the-art golf amenities featuring the latest technology. With its laid back, luxury lifestyle, sustainability lives at its core and permeates through the entire resort and community. The stunning collection of residences, which blend seamlessly with the environment, highlight that nature, innovation, and technology reign supreme across the lush landscape. At Apes Hill Barbados, sleek and modern residences can be found ranging from three-bedroom courtyard villas to four-bedroom hilltop residences and golf course homes featuring a bespoke design service. It is a place of prestige without pretence, set in one of the most unique high points to be found. Apes Hill Barbados delivers an unmatched adventure for the entire family and is a natural setting for an ultra-luxurious golf resort and community.

Like us on Facebook Apes Hill Barbados | Facebook

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/apeshillbarbados/

[laresearchette]

Saturday, April 08, 2023 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: THE PORTABLE DOOR (MGM+) THE PROFESSIONAL BRIDESMAID (W Network) 8:00pm WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT? TOTALLY WEIRD AND FUNNY (CW Feed) DR. OAKLEY, YUKON VET (Premiering on April 13 on Nat Geo Canada at 10:00pm) CRITTER FIXERS: COUNTRY VETS (TBD - Nat Geo Wild) HOUSES WITH HISTORY (TBD - HGTV Canada) LOVE & MARRIAGE: HUNTSVILLE (TBD - OWN Canada) PRIDE: A SEVEN DEADLY SINS STORY (TBD - Lifetime Canada) THE RENOVATOR (TBD - HGTV Canada)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

NETFLIX CANADA HUNGER SPIRAL: FROM THE BOOK OF SAW

MASTERS GOLF (TSN3) 10:00am: Third Round - Amen Corner (TSN4) 10:00am: Third Round - Featured Groups (TSN3/TSN5) 3:00pm: Third Round (TSN4) 10:00pm: Third Round

IIHF WOMEN’S HOCKEY (TSN2) 11:00am: Sweden vs. Hungary (TSN4/TSN5) 7:00pm: Japan vs. Canada

LOONEY TUNES CARTOONS (Cartoon Network) 11:00am (SEASON PREMIERE): Cartoon shorts featuring cherished characters including Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Sylvester, Tweety, Road Runner, Wile E. Coyote, Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, Taz, Marvin the Martian, and Beaky Buzzard.

NHL HOCKEY (SN) 1:00pm: Penguins vs. Red Wings (SN) 4:00pm: Oilers vs. Sharks (CBC/SN) 7:00pm: Habs vs. Leafs (SNWest) 7:00pm: Predators vs. Jets (SN360) 7:00pm: Lightning vs. Sens (CBC/SN) 10:00pm: Flames vs. Canucks

MLB BASEBALL (SN) 1:00pm: Pirates vs. Tigers (TSN2) 4:00pm: Red Sox vs. Tigers (SN Now) 7:00pm: Cardinals vs. Brewers (SN1) 9:00pm: Jays vs. Angels

BKT TIRES & OK TIRE WORLD MEN’S CURLING CHAMPIONSHIP (TSN) 2:00pm: Qualification (TSN) 7:00pm: Semifinal

NBA BASKETBALL (SN1) 3:30pm: Nuggets vs. Jazz

MAJOR LEAGUE RUGBY (TSN4) 4:00pm: Rugby NY vs. Arrows

W5 (CTV) 7:00pm: The Death Debate; Raiders & The Lost Art

MONSTER FAMILY 2 (Crave) 7:15pm: Members of the Wishbone family transform into a vampire, a mummy, a werewolf and Frankenstein to save their monster friends from a mysterious hunter.

MLS SOCCER (TSN5) 7:30pm: LAFC vs. Austin (TSN/TSN5) 10:30pm: Vancouver vs. Portland

BLACK GIRL MISSING (Lifetime Canada) 8:00pm: A Black mother enlists the help of a dedicated community of amateur internet sleuths to try to find her missing daughter after authorities and the media quickly dismiss her case and focus on the search for a missing white girl instead.

LOVE’S SWEET RECIPE (Super Channel House & Home) 8:00pm: Sparks fly between a talented chef and her childhood best friend as she regains her passion for cooking.

NLL LACROSSE (TSN3) 9:00pm: Panther City vs. Roughnecks

THE BLACK PHONE (Crave) 9:00pm: Finney is a 13-year-old boy who's being held captive in a soundproof basement by a sadistic, masked killer. When a disconnected phone on the wall starts to ring, he soon discovers that he can hear the voices of the murderer's previous victims.

LAMBORGHINI: THE MAN BEHIND THE LEGEND (Starz Canada) 9:00pm:  Hoping to beat longtime rival Enzo Ferrari, Ferruccio Lamborghini tries to get his untested car prepped for a victory at the upcoming Geneva Grand Prix.

BATMAN AND SUPERMAN: BATTLE OF THE SUPER SONS (adult swim) 10:00pm:  On his birthday, Jonathan Kent learns his dad is Superman and that he has superpowers of his own. He also meets Damian Wayne. The two boys are forced to team up to protect their loved ones from a hostile alien force.

[grnolan]

A Non-Exhaustive List of Stuff to Watch During the Strike

Everybody has a backlog of things to watch, but for everyone who is like me and routinely looks at that backlog and goes "but none of those hundred things sound interesting right now", here are some recommendations.

If You Have…

NETFLIX

Avatar The Last Airbender: Animated/Fantasy; 3 seasons; A teenage chosen one reawakens 100 years into the war he’s meant to stop. If you somehow are on Tumblr and haven’t seen this show, give it a try now.

Cunk on Earth: Documentary; 1 season; A very serious documentary that very seriously tells the story of the history of human progress.

Glow Up (2019): Competition; 4 seasons; Aspiring makeup artists compete for opportunities in the industry.

Nailed It! (2018): Competition; 7 seasons; Nicole Byer and Jacques Torres laugh with people who are not bakers as they try to bake extremely complicated desserts in less time than professionals could do it.

Wynonna Earp (2016): Western Horror; 4 seasons; The cursed descendant of famous lawman Wyatt Earp hunts demons in a small Canadian town alongside her (canonically bisexual) little sister, a US Marshall, an immortal Doc Holliday, and a (canonically lesbian) local cop.

HULU

Domino Masters (2022): Competition; 1 season; A competition show where teams build Rube Goldberg devices primarily focusing on dominos.

Holey Moley (2019): Competition; 3 seasons; Increasingly ridiculous mini golf holes where the ball can go into a water hazard but the people go in much more frequently.

Lego Masters (2020): Competition; 3 seasons; Teams of two build complex Lego designs based on each week’s theme.

Primeval (2007): Sci-Fi; 5 seasons; British scientists and government officials discover fluctuating portals to various time periods, which release dinosaurs and other creatures into the modern day. You’ll watch the first season and go “idk why this is considered good” and then all the other seasons will happen.

DISNEY PLUS

DuckTales (2017): Animated/Adventure Comedy; 3 seasons; A reboot of the 80s show of the same name, but with better character development and better treatment of its female characters.

The Owl House (2020): Animated/Horror Comedy; 3 seasons; An Afro Latina human girl is on her way to summer camp to be taught “normalcy” when she goes through a portal and finds herself in the Demon Realm. She decides that it’s way better than camp and stays. Friendship, family, love, and PTSD ensue.

MAX

Baking Championships: The Baking Championships (Kids Baking Championship, Halloween Baking Championship, Holiday Baking Championship, Spring Baking Champion Championship) are all a nice heartwarming fun time.

The Great Pottery Throw Down (2015): Competition; 5 seasons; You know how chill and fun GBBO is? Imagine that but with pottery.

CRUNCHYROLL

RWBY (2013): Animated/Fantasy; 9 seasons; A group of girls join a school to train for hunting monsters and fighting crime with cool weapons that are usually some sort of melee weapon and also a gun. The animation gets better with every season.

NO STREAMING SERVICES

Board Game Club: An ongoing series on the No Rolls Barred YouTube page; a bunch of people get together and play board games. This probably sounds like it would be boring but it is absolutely fantastic.

Critical Role: YouTube; 2 completed campaigns, 1 ongoing; A group of voice actor friends get together to play Dungeons and Dragons. Increasingly well-produced over time.

The Lizzie Bennet Diaries: 100 episodes; An adaptation of Pride and Prejudice that takes place entirely over vlogs. Very funny, handles the confines of a vlog setting fairly well, and Ashley Clements (Lizzie) is fabulous.

Video Game YouTubers: Particularly Let’s Plays, speedruns, and challenges. I personally enjoy Pokemon challenges like by FlygonHG, and Super Mario Odyssey Hide and Seek by a bunch of different Mario streamers is great fun.

[whereareroo]

GOOSE FEATHERS

WF THOUGHTS (9/20/24).

For all of my professional career, I was surrounded by rich Republicans. It was a world that was dominated by white, Christian, men. They were nice guys. At the same time, the classic stereotypes are true. They had names like Conrad, Chester, Roscoe, and Woodward. They lived in mansions. On the weekends, they played golf at fancy restrictive country clubs.

In those days, we didn’t have migrant problems. We had goose problems. Suddenly, probably because of climate change, Canadian Geese began to invade the wealthy enclaves of lower Connecticut. The rich folks hated the geese. The geese pooped all over the manicured lawns that surrounded their mansions. The geese pooped all over their fancy golf courses. It was a major problem for rich Republicans.

The rich Republicans fought back against the nasty geese. At their homes, they deployed their dogs and their undocumented Mexican landscapers to chase the geese. In addition to using dogs and undocumented Mexican landscapers, the fancy country clubs initiated “goose control plans” that featured armies of dog decoys and various electronic noisemakers. At their homes and at their pristine clubs, the Republicans employed exterminators to spray goose nesting areas with cooking oil. The oil seals the airflow pores in goose eggs and suffocates the embryos before they hatch. I guess the Right To Life doesn’t apply to geese.

For the past ten days, I’ve been thinking about the Republican hatred for geese. We keep hearing about the false story, popularized by Trump and Vance, that “illegal” Haitian immigrants in Ohio have been stealing and eating pets. At first, the false story was about cats and dogs. When that story was debunked, it morphed into a claim that the Haitians were stealing ducks and geese from local lakes. It’s all a bunch of racist, xenophobic, bunk.

The goose story is a sad commentary on the status of the Republican Party. Everybody knows that Republicans hate geese. In 2024, it appears that their hatred for migrants now exceeds their hatred for geese. Republicans are trying to argue- -even though the underlying facts have been repeatedly debunked- -that migrants are bad people because they’re capturing geese. Isn’t that a hoot! Not too long ago, Republicans were paying migrants to capture and kill geese. Suddenly, Republicans are protectors of geese! The new Republican position is that geese are more important than people. The Republicans apparently don’t understand that geese don’t vote.

Even though I’ve gotten a giggle out of all of this, I realize that it’s a very sad situation. Trump and Vance will do anything- -such as creating false stories- -to appeal to their racist and xenophobic supporters. They do it because it works. America is full of racists and xenophobes. It’s so sad that in 2024 one of our major political parties is actively seeking support from racists and xenophobes. Do you want to go back to those days, or do you want to move forward? The choice is in our hands.

[factinhistory]

What Happened on September 6 in Canadian History?

September 6 has witnessed a range of significant events in Canadian history, from the formation of iconic sports teams to groundbreaking achievements in various fields. This article delves into the notable occurrences on September 6 that have shaped Canada’s cultural and political landscape, providing a comprehensive overview of their impact and significance.

The events highlighted in this article reflect Canada’s diverse history, encompassing sports, politics, and the arts. Understanding these events offers insight into the broader context of Canadian development and highlights the contributions of individuals and institutions that have played pivotal roles in shaping the nation.

What Happened on September 6 in Canadian History?

Formation of the Saskatchewan Roughriders (1910)

On September 6, 1910, the Saskatchewan Roughriders football club was established in Regina, Saskatchewan. Originally known as the Regina Roughriders, this team became one of the most enduring and celebrated franchises in Canadian football history. The club’s formation marked the beginning of a storied legacy in the Canadian Football League (CFL).

The Roughriders have since become an integral part of Saskatchewan’s cultural identity, with a passionate fan base and a history of competitive success. Their establishment was a significant moment in the development of Canadian football, contributing to the growth and popularity of the sport across the country.

See Also: What Happened on September 6 in History?

Canadian Television Broadcasts Begin (1952)

On September 6, 1952, Canadian television broadcasting commenced in Montreal. This marked a significant milestone in the development of Canadian media and entertainment. The launch of television in Montreal paved the way for the expansion of broadcasting services across the country and contributed to the shaping of Canadian culture.

The advent of television brought new opportunities for Canadian content creation and distribution, allowing for a broader reach of Canadian programming and talent. This development played a crucial role in fostering a national identity and providing a platform for Canadian voices and stories.

Mark Messier’s Car Accident (1985)

On September 6, 1985, NHL star Mark Messier was involved in a car accident where he lost control of his Porsche, causing damage to three other vehicles. Messier was subsequently charged with hit and run and careless driving. He later paid a fine for the incident.

The accident drew significant media attention, partly due to Messier’s high profile as a leading hockey player. Despite the controversy, his career continued to flourish, and he remained a prominent figure in the sports world. The incident highlighted the challenges faced by public figures and the impact of personal actions on their professional lives.

Suzann Pettersen Wins Canadian Open Women’s Golf (2009)

On September 6, 2009, Norwegian golfer Suzann Pettersen won the Canadian Open Women’s Golf tournament held at Priddis Greens Golf and Country Club. Pettersen’s victory was notable as she won by a margin of five strokes from a group of five players.

Pettersen’s win at the Canadian Open was a significant achievement in the world of golf, showcasing her skill and competitiveness on an international stage. The tournament’s success further highlighted the prominence of Canadian Open events in the global golf calendar and the high level of talent participating in them.

George-Étienne Cartier Born (1814)

On September 6, 1814, George-Étienne Cartier was born in Saint-Antoine-sur-Richelieu, Quebec. Cartier was a prominent French Canadian politician who played a crucial role in the Confederation of Canada. He served as the joint Prime Minister of Canada from 1858 to 1862 and was a key figure in the political landscape of the time.

Cartier’s contributions to Canadian politics were instrumental in shaping the country’s governance and structure. His efforts in promoting the Confederation helped to lay the foundation for the modern Canadian state, making him a significant figure in Canadian history.

Alexander Tilloch Galt Born (1817)

On September 6, 1817, Alexander Tilloch Galt was born in Chelsea, England. Galt was a Canadian politician and a father of Canadian Confederation. His work in the political sphere was crucial in the development of Canada as a unified nation.

Galt’s contributions to Canadian politics included his efforts in advocating for Confederation and his role in shaping the country’s early governance structures. His legacy is remembered for its impact on Canada’s political development and the establishment of the nation as a unified entity.

John Macleod Born (1876)

On September 6, 1876, John Macleod was born in Clunie, Dunkeld, Scotland. Macleod was a Scottish-Canadian physiologist who was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine in 1923. His research on the role of insulin in diabetes significantly advanced medical science.

Macleod’s groundbreaking work in physiology has had a lasting impact on the field of medicine, particularly in the treatment and understanding of diabetes. His contributions are celebrated for their significance in improving human health and advancing scientific knowledge.

W.A.C. Bennett Born (1900)

On September 6, 1900, W.A.C. Bennett was born in New Brunswick, Canada. Bennett was a Canadian politician who served as the Premier of British Columbia from 1952 to 1972. His long tenure in office was marked by significant developments and changes in the province.

Bennett’s leadership played a pivotal role in shaping the modern landscape of British Columbia, including advancements in infrastructure, education, and public services. His influence on provincial politics and governance remains a notable aspect of Canadian history.

Gilles Tremblay Born (1932)

On September 6, 1932, Gilles Tremblay was born in Saguenay, Quebec. Tremblay was a Canadian composer and ondes Martenot player known for his contributions to contemporary classical music. His work in music composition and education has been influential in the development of Canadian music.

Tremblay’s career was marked by his innovative approach to composition and his role in advancing the use of electronic instruments in classical music. His contributions have enriched the Canadian and global music scenes, reflecting the diverse talent within the Canadian arts community.

Michaëlle Jean Born (1957)

On September 6, 1957, Michaëlle Jean was born in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. Jean served as the 27th Governor-General of Canada from 2005 to 2010. Her tenure was notable for her advocacy of social issues and her role in representing Canada on the international stage.

Jean’s contributions as Governor-General included promoting Canadian values and engaging with communities across the country. Her appointment was a significant moment in Canadian history, reflecting the diverse and inclusive nature of Canadian leadership.

Greg Rusedski Born (1973)

On September 6, 1973, Greg Rusedski was born in Montreal, Quebec. Rusedski is a Canadian-British tennis player known for his achievements in the sport, including his performance in the 1995 Seoul Olympics. His career in tennis has been distinguished by notable victories and contributions to the sport.

Rusedski’s impact on tennis includes his role in representing Canada and Britain in international competitions. His achievements on the court have contributed to the global recognition of Canadian tennis players and their success in the sport.

Mark Teahen Born (1981)

On September 6, 1981, Mark Teahen was born in Redlands, California. Teahen is an American-Canadian baseball player known for his career in Major League Baseball and his contributions to the sport. His achievements include playing for various teams and making significant contributions on the field.

Teahen’s career in baseball highlights the diverse backgrounds of professional athletes and the international connections within the sport. His accomplishments reflect the global nature of baseball and the opportunities for players from different regions.

Leylah Fernandez Born (2002)

On September 6, 2002, Leylah Fernandez was born in Montreal, Quebec. Fernandez is a Canadian tennis player who gained international recognition for her performance in the 2021 US Open, where she was a runner-up. Her achievements in tennis have brought attention to the rising talent in Canadian sports.

Fernandez’s success at a young age demonstrates the growing prominence of Canadian athletes in the global sports arena. Her career trajectory is indicative of the potential for future achievements and the increasing impact of Canadian players on the international stage.

Conclusion

The events that occurred on September 6 in Canadian history reflect a diverse and rich tapestry of achievements and milestones. From the formation of iconic sports teams and groundbreaking advancements in television to significant political and cultural contributions, these occurrences have played a crucial role in shaping Canada’s history. Understanding these events provides valuable insight into the development of Canada as a nation and highlights the contributions of individuals and institutions that have shaped its cultural and political landscape. The significance of September 6 in Canadian history serves as a testament to the country’s dynamic and multifaceted heritage.

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

Check out this great letter challenging the City of Kingston's plans for daytime evictions in Belle Park (from Mutual Aid Katarokwi-Kingston, March 19, 2024):

"I am a citizen of Kingston who lives on Montreal Street and volunteers five to seven days per week, for two or three hours per day, at the Integrated Care Hub with my colleague Brigit Smith.

In our role, at this grassroots level, we support the ICH shelter residents, substance users at the Consumption Treatment Centre, encampment residents at Belle Park and many unhoused in the community who have learned about the kindness, warmth and support we provide to the homeless.

As background, one of our business clients donated $10,000 to purchase a golf cart for the CTS and ICH staff to provide swift responses to overdoses, ultimately saving lives. We set up a prepaid account at BnB Pharmacy to support fulfillment of prescriptions, which we top up on a monthly basis. We raised over $12,000 this past winter to provide tents, air mattresses, sleeping bags, pillows, hygiene products, winter coats, boots, hats, gloves, running shoes, back packs, and warm clothing. We have built relationships with businesses in the community who support our efforts to take care of our homeless. We often purchase and donate coffee, donuts and

muffins so our unhoused feel, in some small way, that we care about their well-being. We process all incoming donations. We take care of everyone with respect and dignity and we are honoured to serve them. They are warm, friendly, appreciative, and respectful in all interactions. We do not deny the reality of challenges, as we see them every day, however one would think the threat to life would include concern for fires and freezing to death. We do not feel your decision is taking all complex matters into account. We feel uniquely qualified share our perspective.

The announcement of the City of Kingston to prohibit day use and evict our encampment homes on a daily basis, effective April 2, 2024, simply must not go forward.

We are in the midst of a national housing, economic, substance use and drug poisoning crisis. This is our reality. It is not going away. Delegations have approached council to talk about substance use in our schools at the elementary and secondary levels. Poverty and homelessness are growing. This is evident in the statistics authored by the Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation. These may be the most complex times we will face in our lifetime and as citizens we can not condone the short sited and thoughtless approach of daily prohibition and daily eviction of homes. Asking our vulnerable residents who are often medically ill with complex mental illness, and or substance use and many fragile elderly, to pack up their homes and belongings daily, is inhumane. We must have more scope than knowing we will be complicit in the death of our vulnerable citizens, if we push them further into the woods and isolation, as Justine McIsaac stated at your council meeting in January 2023.

Moreover, the Office of the Federal Housing Advocate, authored by the Canadian Human Rights Commission (Feb 2024) clearly indicates the need for the City of Kingston to comply. It is a human right to receive adequate housing and yet you are proposing we dismantle the only home they have on a daily basis, destroying the little dignity they have. These are their homes, and it is incumbent upon us to improve their homes, not dismantle them. Our citizens in Belle Park are already a community in crisis, a traumatized and disadvantaged population. We have a group of seniors who depend on us to listen to their stories and memories and be present for their needs. Many, are quite sick and dropped off from the hospital in various states where continued active care is required. We also provide walkers, canes and wheelchairs. It is our norm. How can we respect and support the decision of the city when you do not seem to understand the complex matters of these very important citizens. We need to collaborate to find common ground.

Can you imagine what will happen to our emergency departments when we can no longer administer naloxone in Belle Park. An already overburdened HDH and KGH will now be providing overdose support because residents have moved further away from their support at the CTS and ICH. We serve hundreds of overdoses. These overdoses will land squarely at emergency along with the Paramedics and Police who must remain present until the emergency dept can serve them.

Our residents will find places to live in their tents further away from the ICH. Tent encampments will not cease to exist, with your dismantling strategy. Recently, you took the tent of a resident, and this particular resident continues to live at Belle Park under a tarp. You accomplished nothing but putting this resident further into crisis. This is their community, it is their home, their tents are their homes. Let that sink in, tents are the best we have provided them. This eviction will push them further into crisis, despair and desperation and as Justine stated, resulting in death.

It is our understanding, a resolution from Council is required to move forward with your April 2 directive and we did not find this resolution. Can you please advise us as to how this decision was made as we understand this directive to be illegitimate

Please let us work with our community, fire department, police and bylaw to educate and support our residents. Our outdoor engagement team has worked very hard to collaborate with citizens, police and fire and we believe with a dedicated team we can build understanding and find common ground. We are inviting the community to volunteer with us. Give us a chance to build relationships. Please reconsider your decision and work with us to support our community while we build a made in Kingston strategy together. On a strategic level, we have a made in Kingston plan to collaborate with private sector and all levels of government to lift Kingston as the innovative and dynamic city it is. Please reconsider and work with us toward a sustainable solution.

Sincerely,

Pamela Gray and Brigit Smith"