#cannot wait to be sent anon hate for this

[venusandsaturnsrings]

The school year finally ended... I hate college SO much :( but I am alive!! I beg for some crumbs of thoughts on Sunday... -chubby darling anon who is very much alive and finally got a mitsuri scale figure <3

putting all of my other fics, blurbs, and asks on PAUSE for this!! congrats!! no more school foorrr… 3ish months!! after dropping out of uni, i’ve been finally considering going back myself for phlebotomy!! canadas health situation is lack lustre rn and the course is less than one year + paid practicum + immediate job placement which is kinda sweet… CONGRATS ON THE FIGURE TOO!! i recently (like a month and a half ago) procured the hatsune miku jirai kei subculture fashion figure and i cannot stress how pretty she is <3 sits on my pc right now bc my shelves are full… ANYWAYS… love you!!

includes: silly sunday hcs, potential story spoilers, maybe ooc im still feeling him out, praise, degradation, riding crops, his hands…, and gender neutral reader!!

very poignantly the hopeless romantic type. he’s always functioned as a ‘singularity’ of sorts and over the years developed a certain fondness of it, even if it hurts. it’s worth noting he vividly reminds me of the line ‘i miss the comfort in being sad,’ from nirvanas ‘Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle.’ he’s the type of partner to always be stuck in that self-absorbed martyr mindset a little bit.

pragmatic to a fault. Sunday is deeply a skeptic, take his departure from the harmony in favour of the order, as an example. it’s cool because it means you’ll never have to worry about any technicalities but it also means he has a hard time letting go of control or being spontaneous.

very into more subtle romantic gestures and an absolute gentleman. you’ll have flowers at your door at least once a week and he makes sure to take all of your preferences into consideration when planning dates (he will be the one planning). keeps his hand on your lower back most of the time, the waist is far too scandalous!!

not a big texter. he prefers speaking face to face and will call if he can’t come see you. that said, he’ll make sure to like or respond to all of the silly pictures and messages you send, even if it’s a dry ‘haha’ or just a heart. occasionally, you’ll find that he’s sent you a letter, ask about and he’ll shrug and say he simply wanted something more heartfelt if he’s to communicate written. he’s got a special stamp to seal the ones he sends you.

grabs your phone when you go to show him something. no explanation i just feel it in my bones.

although he’s no singer, he’s still a classically trained musician. i imagine he was taught the violin but went on to learn his preferred instrument, the harp, himself. he’s a bit shy about playing so rather than asking, just wait until he thinks it’s late and you’re not around to hear; he’s got quite the set of fingers.

…speaking of fingers, my bread and butter, he’s beyond skilled with playing you. while he enjoys getting down to business, getting to leisurely spread you open and thrum against all your nerves gets him going. could spend hours having you laid out, in his lap, on the floor, wherever, just gently coaxing you open, wet, and pliant for himself.

off of that, he likes you best worn down to soft edges and weak desperation. getting to play the saviour, making you come undone, has him stiff in his pants.

lots of sweet praise and subtle degradation. things like, “you want to be good for me, don’t you my sweet?,” or, “now, now, don’t get greedy on me. be patient, silly thing, and i’ll appease all of your foolish whims,” annddd, “come now, you’ve been so well for me, angel, don’t ruin that with any useless whines.”

he’s not one for being too harsh against you but push the right buttons and you’ll get a ‘dumb’ or ‘stupid’ here and there. Sunday doesn’t curse but he knows his way around how to make you feel inferior and looked down upon.

he likes the power play of staying fully and pristinely clothed while your completely nude, save for maybe a pretty collar he’s got you belled with. if you’re real trouble, say maybe a no good criminal causing problems on Penacony and once arrested you’re at his disposal and oh so pretty, he’ll find a nice muzzle to fix you with.

strikes, no pun intended, me as the type to have an affinity for riding crops over anything else for punishments. you’ll get the same sugarcoated degradation while he comments on how you’re not even good enough to be so close to his gloved hand that he just must use the crop!! (he likes the pretty bruises it leaves).

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

Male Yandere Deep Sea-Creature x Female Mermaid Reader x Male Yandere Human

I don’t think you’ve ever done 2 yanderes pursuing the same darling, so think you could try it? (Unless I’m just stupid and aren’t remembering your other stories right)

We all know of the classic mercreature x human forbidden romance story, but what if there was another from the same marine world added into the mix? Yandere deep sea-creature is also in love with mermaid reader darling, so imagine what he’d do to keep her with him. Same goes for yandere human

This story you can hopefully have fun with as there’s so many ways it can turn out. And another note on why deep sea-creature…it was because I think a merman can be a bit boring, and it’d be interesting to explore a deep sea-creature instead (or straight up eldritch monster of your own creation). Just remember…deep sea-creatures usually get bigger the deeper you go. Much bigger thanks to deep sea gigantism…;)

(Re-sending this to you, because you said you only got 3 requests when I think I sent you 4. But if you had this request, just ignore this ask with this additional message at the end)

Thanks!!! 💝

Yandere! Male! Deep sea creature x mermaid! Fem! Reader x Human! Male! Hunter

OH THIS IS A DOOZY TO WRITE

By the way, guess whose birthday it is today (Hint: it's me LOL)

Got a little bit sidelined on this fic, but i tried. Two men pursuing darling ain't for me but for you, 💝anon, I'll do it ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

This one starts with (and focuses on) you, the reader, since I can't exactly make a yandere man focused fic with two men without making it really long. So unfortunately I cannot put that much of their lore.

Wait, so what does this mean? Do they belong to the same number, or separate? (I mean, I am targeting 16 yanderes in one set. So do they count as one or nah? Eh...)

Yandere! Deep Sea creature name: Viper (from the viperfish) Yandere! Hunter: Orion

It was truly an unfortunate day for you.

You, a mermaid living in the ocean, swimming freely without any people's judgements and even other mermaids.

You aren't exactly a woman of fear.

You love exploring. It's one of your favorite hobbies and actively seek out new thrills and discoveries.

In a world where mer/werpeople were still a newly discovered concept by humans, your folks were adamant on telling you to keep safe from them. Since humans are cruel and what not.

But you didn't care. You wish to see humans and their inventions.

Because of this, you became an outcast from your people, and live on your own in one of the trenches. Just a tad far away from oceanic civilization.

You felt bad for yourself, honestly. Why can't they just accept you're just thirsty for knowledge?

You want to swim up top, where the sun shines and the huge boats reside, with legged people running around in water vehicles. You want to know how they operated it, how they made it, and stuff like that.

Contrary to popular belief, Humans are the uneducated ones. They went on for years upon years not knowing about wer/merpeople other than their mythologies. Yet these other species had always blended with them seamlessly.

Foolish, but that's what made them fascinating for you.

But you only knew what's up above, but not...

The current suddenly felt cold as you lounged at one of the trench dugouts, and you looked down from your side.

It was deep. Too deep for you to explore.

You love the light, but hate the dark.

And it was dark down there. An eerie, dark blue of emptiness.

You're the only one in this abandoned trench, teeming with other sea life other than merpeople, with corals so beautiful and sea anemones that sway with the waters.

But as the trench go down... And down... And down...

They decreased in numbers till they got swallowed by the darkness.

You heard of deep sea merpeople sometimes, but a lot agreed to not look for them. For they are hideous and ugly. Some use them as a scare tactic for young merchildren, that these hideous and large merpeople will eat them alive.

Unfortunately, you believed those stories due to your parents drilling it in your head to not head down.

You shook your head and grabbed your bag, before swimming upwards as you saw a weird mechanism suddenly being dropped in the water via a boat.

You swam around it, curious to this weird ball. It's clearly cut in half then somehow glued together. It's tied to a rope, with little baits decorating the sides.

"Weird, how do humans catch fishes with this?" You asked to yourself, tilting your head as you swatted away the fishes from trying to eat the baits.

Curiosity got a hold of you though. And as you accidentally pulled a bait out from trying to carefully remove it, the ball bursts open and spews out a net, catching you off guard as you got enveloped by the fishnet.

"WHA--?!" As you got enveloped, your body got hauled back to the surface.

Your heart is beating wildly as you broke through the water tension. You can feel the heat of the sun now enveloping your body, which was once only can be felt by your face. You can feel the water dripping from your body down to the waters below, and the net digging onto your skin as your weight made the machine creek.

"Oh? A mermaid?"

A sultry voice said, snapping you from your fear. You looked up, and saw not two, but only one human in such a big boat.

He stood tall, with long legs in a fitted pair of pants and boots. He's wearing a dress shirt that hung loosely on his torso in an inserted fashion. He had a hooded look in his face, examining you over.

"This is the first time I saw a mermaid. Hey there, love." He said again in that voice that made you shiver.

He leans to the edge of the boat, his elbows on the railings. Looking at you with an inquisitve look.

"My name's Orion, love. What's yours?" He asked in a deep tone that made you gulp.

"Y/N..." You whispered, gripping your bag.

"Pretty name for a pretty mermaid." He smiled and you flushed red.

Due to being a recluse, you never got the chance to find a lover, let alone a mate.

As you started to dry out a bit, you scratched your skin, uncomfortable from the direct heat.

Orion saw this and went to the machine.

You curiously looked at what he's doing, trembling from the sudden realization that you're so close to a human invention!

You clutched your bag once more and intently watched as Orion hummed and pulled the lever, making you jerk back as the machine whirred to life and lowered your net.

"Forgive me, love. Thought I caught a big octopus or a huge school of fish." Orion said, making you nod as your body got immersed with the water.

The net unclasped from the bottom, which was held together by a strong magnet as it retreated back to the ball.

"Thank you, Orion." You whispered.

"No problem, love. I'm sorry for catching you like that again." Orion chuckled at your voice.

You didn't make a move from your place, still so curious about the boat. Orion noticed it and chuckled once more.

"Want to know stuff about boats?" He asked and you nodded eagerly. "Alright."

And, as Orion and you talked the afternoon off, you didn't notice a pair of eyes from down, down below look at you with such intensity, hostile.

Orion. A rich man who got a vessel by himself to know more about sealife, hunt them, and display them as catches.

He's always been interested marine life. Living by the seaside most of his life due to his yacht investing father and a beach resort owner mother, he's drawn to the sea in more ways than one.

Due to being mostly by the sea, he developed such tan skin that glistens under the sun whenever he walks by the port. Plus the way his face is built, he looks like a Carribean prince waiting for his mermaid to appear on the beach while not being able to speak.

But due to his parents' financial status, most of the time he only spends time by himself. Other children his age in that port town were intimidated. Despite him trying to be friendly, he can't catch himself a friend at all.

That goes for lovers too. Yeah, there are people who are brave. But in the end, they get overwhelmed from his clinginess.

This made him more clingy and possessive.

He just doesn't want them to run away. He's too lonely for such an extroverted man like him. And with so much love (baggage) to give, how can he make somebody stay in such a demanding and overwhelming way?

It's honestly a draining cycle for both him and the lovers he had.

Now, he only hunts fishes and and examine them. If they're edible, he eats them. If it's interesting, he taxidermies them somehow.

Then, while testing a new net system he developed, he catches a mermaid, you.

He's surprised, but got his heart speared when he saw your clear, fearful, yet curious eyes.

You're so pretty that he swore he's in heaven rather than the sea.

For the first time, an aggressive want to make you his filled him inside that it scared even him.

But he doesn't want to scare you. So, rather than being overwhelming immediately, he took his time.

Why not start with fulfilling your thirst for knowledge?

Everyday, he goes back to that specific spot only for you. You always asked him about his boat, about the machinery, about technology that he brought... He filled your head with information that made you so giddy it was adorable in his eyes.

But he can't shake off the feeling of somebody staring at them. It's honestly unsettling. Sure, it may be other merfolks, but you swore that nobody other than you goes here.

It's strange, but he shrugs it off. He's happy to solo you anyways.

What you didn't know is that he's already ordered a large aquarium type habitat on his home. The size of city wide aquariums of sharks, whales, etc. He made sure to put everything that he thinks you will like.

He wants you in his arms.

He wants to jump down to the sea, hug you in such a tight embrace, and devour your salty lips that will probably taste so sweet on his tongue.

You're so sweet, inquisitive, kind, and understanding. Too lovable. And just thinking that other merfolk have interacted with you before and some probably saw you as a potential mate darkens his mood to no end.

He hasn't tried hunting mermaids yet, should he?

Somehow, he's grateful that you're a social outcast. That means he could just solo you like this.

Not until you didn't show up in a meeting, and his heart dropped to the floor.

Hours before the daily meeting.

You plucked some kelp from a nearby kelp farm that you personally oversee. Hungry, you rolled some and continued to find more proper kelp to join in a fish salad.

Hey, some sealife here are the equivalent of meat consumables for humans.

Getting some oysters, you continued to get food for dinner when a light flashed from your peripheral vision.

"Hmm?" Your body swayed as you looked to the side where the light came from.

Putting what you got in your basket, you swam to the trenches again and tried to find where the light came from.

Some fishes got out of your way as you tried to find it once more, before it flashed again.

"Aha! Now, where... Huh?"

The flash came from the deepest part of the trenches.

The cold current got to you again, and you shivered.

It flashed again, enticing you to swim closer.

But you knew not to do it.

The stories of the deep sea merpeople flashed your mind again, and you almost shrieked in fear from the memories.

But the light is so enticing...

"Just a bit..."

You swam down, passing by the corals and the anemones. Your heartrate picked up, feeling the cold current once more.

Then, you noticed how the corals and anemones are thinning out, but you pushed through, telling yourself that it's not that far.

It's really not that far... Right?

The light flashed once more, now a bit bigger.

So, with a burst of energy and the adrenaline, you swam harder, wanting to see what's the flashing light is.

Then, the light went out.

You gasped in fear and astonishment as suddenly, it got so dark.

With nothing around you at all. Not even the trenches' walls kept you company as the vast, dark nothingness filled your vision.

Cold currents on warm waters, water rippling around you as if some kind of entity kept swimming past you, and you swore you saw beady eyes look at you from afar.

Should you go up?

But wait, where is up?

You felt your stomach drop.

Then, the flashing light blinded you, making you yelp and cover your eyes.

Feeling a sense of deja vu, you felt a presence in front of you.

No, around you.

You trembled, not wanting to open your eyes, but you knew you have to face whatever was in front of you.

So you opened your eyes, and almost shrieked once more from the person in front of you.

He's huge. With beady, ghost like eyes and sharp teeth as he unhinges his jaw in such a grotesque way that made you squirm in how uncomfortable it is to look at. His antenna, the one flashing, shone in now a dimly light as he swerves his body around you. Almost coiling his tail on your body.

He's triple your length, maybe quadruple even. And he laughs deeply at your scared face. He had a sick joy flashing his eyes before he tilted his head.

"Upper Dweller, didn't know you would follow my light." His voice, a ghost like quality with such roughness that it's gravelly. "I'm surprised you're still alive with such curiosity inside of you. Tell me, little one, what's your name?"

"Y/N..." You gulped, cowering from his stature as he swam around you once more.

He looked so creepy, yet had this look that's attracting you to him. Is it the antenna? Who knows.

"A name that matches you." He chuckles and you squirm. Was it a good thing or bad?

"My name's Viper. Nice to meet you, Upper Dweller Y/N." He smiles, his jaw now back in its place yet the sharp teeth still shone. "Hmm... Tiny mermaid, so easy to crush..."

He fully coiled his tail around you, and it felt so cold. The scales felt so cold and uncomfortable against your own tail and skin.

"You dwell on the trenches that nobody dares to live due to being the entrance to my lair." He whispers, closing his face against yours. "Did the people not tell you that?"

You felt your blood run colder than usual. Nobody did. Did they send you there knowing a deep sea dweller lives at the bottom?

Suddenly, you felt helpless against his hold as you realized that you got sent to your what's essentially your death.

Viper smiles from your reaction as he kept himself from pulling you down to the abyss completely.

The first time you got to the trenches, Viper was thoroughly surprised. The abandoned trenches suddenly got a resident once more? Who's the stupid mermaid who dares to live on his what's essentially a frontyard?

And he got a good look on you. Despite being of a viperfish specie, his ghost like eyes were useful for him, making him look at your face fully even though the distance is so far.

You. You look so precious, so pure as you swam around above. So small and puny that just one bite from his powerful jaw can crack you open.

But he didn't lure you yet, just observed his prey as you swam around, trying to watch the boats on the surface.

Viper's a lonely man.

Deep sea merfolk are rare, and in this place, it was only him.

So, he never really got the proper education on what to do in social contexts. Not like he had a chance to do so.

The only time he got is when people still reside the trenches up above when he's still a fry. They looked so happy and chatty, friendly and kind.

And he wants to experience it too.

So, he swam up, trying to form relationships, but this only scared the merfolk away from the ghost like appearance of Viper and his sheer size despite being only a fry back then.

And all of them left the trenches.

It broke small Viper's heart, and he steeled them in the years to come.

But now, you moved in.

Fortunately, Viper's in that age that he's finding a mate to be with for life.

And, with how much he observed you, taking in your smiles, curious glances up above, and fearful looks you gave down below, he slowly fell in love with you.

Well, in one way or another.

So, when he saw you talking to this puny human, he knew he had to make his move.

So, he lured you here.

"Little one..." He whispered, nudging your hand open with his sharp claws.

You opened it nervously, and gasped in terror as he gave you a black pearl.

A symbol of wanting to be mates.

"NO!" You screamed in fear as you got the strength to break free and swim with all your might up to the surface.

Viper growled and tried to catch up with you.

"COME HERE!"

You shrieked in terror as his hand is only a smidge away from your tail.

The darkness slowly got lighter, and you were tired from exhaustion but you knew you cannot stop.

Viper was angry. How dare you reject him! A little upper-dweller that he can just crush with one hand yet he graciously let live reject his offer to be his mate?

But the light got too much for him, and he had to hiss and retreat.

"You will be back." He whispered, watching your retreating figure. "I just know it."

Viper remembers the other man, the human, who somehow saw through him one day when he observed the both of you. Viper felt the hostility and bloodlust from him as he looked directly at where Viper is.

Viper swore up and down it's just coincidence, but the way Orion's eyes never left his spot was unsettling. How can Orion even see Viper?

But Viper knew that this man is not an easy opponent.

So he retreats...

And Orion also retreats as he realized you aren't going to be in the meeting place today.

Two men. One up above, and one below.

Both wants you in their arms.

One will offer you the light but in such a restrictive way,

And the other will offer you the darkness filled with uncertainty but within the waters you know and love.

So, who will it be, love?

Time is ticking, little one.

It will not be long until these two go face to face.

And one will not live to see the tale.

[jeannineee]

hi! here with a request :D could you write a smutty azris x reader fic? i just have an addiction to these two characters that cannot be sated lol

also, here is a reminder that your writing is amazing! i love coming back to reread ur fics all the time <3

Little Dove

Azriel x Eris x Reader

a/n: you are the sweetest, anon!!! ❤️ you!! I def think Azriel and Eris are hard doms so hopefully ur okay w me writing them as such. This is filthy!

nsfw under the cut (18+ please)

“Get on the bed, hands and knees,” Eris whispered in your ear, after removing your dress.

You eyes darted to Azriel, pleading. But his expression was just as hard, voice just as stern. “Don’t make us tell you twice.”

You swallowed thickly, climbing onto the bed, and assuming the position they wanted.

“Hands behind your back,” Azriel commanded, his shadows restraining your wrists the moment you moved them.

Your face was now against the mattress, and you turned your head, meeting both of their harsh gazes. “I’m sorry,” you murmured innocently.

Eris smiled, but there was no warmth in the gesture. “You’ll be sorry, little dove.”

Eris’s tone sent shivers down your spine, anticipation running through your veins as the two of them moved out of your view.

A sudden, sharp smack landed on your ass, drawing a gasp from you. You barely had time to recuperate before a second and third slap made contact. Moments later, that same hand rubbed at the now-sore flesh.

“Not so tough now, hm?” Eris sounded from behind you. “Flirting with Rhysand like a slut,” he tutted, still massaging your reddened ass.

A whimper fell from your lips as your hair was yanked back, forcing you to sit up.

Azriel held your hair tightly, hazel eyes boring into yours. “You know how much I hate it when you don’t answer us, sweetheart.”

“I—I’m sorry,” you sputtered.

“Is that all you can say?” Eris asked mockingly, smacking your ass again. “Sorry?”

“I won’t—won’t do it again,” you said, tears welling in your eyes.

Azriel kissed your tears away, your hair still wrapped around his fist. “You won’t?”

You nodded vigorously. “I—I won’t. Promise.”

Azriel glanced at Eris, and then back at you, before releasing your hair, and forcing your face back into the mattress.

You mewled as Eris dragged a finger through your folds, legs squeezing together at the sensation.

“Look at you,” Eris said, prodding his finger at your entrance. “So wet for us.”

You strained against Azriel’s shadows as Eris swirled his finger around your hole, teasing you. A sigh of relief left you as the shadows uncoiled from your wrists.

Azriel moved to sit in front of you, back against the headboard as his muscular thighs spanned on either side of you. His hard cock was only inches from your face, precum beading at the tip.

You braced your forearms on his thighs, opening your mouth for him.

“Such an eager little slut,” Azriel cooed, guiding his cock towards your waiting mouth. He hissed as your lips wrapped around his tip, gently sucking.

It was then that Eris finally inserted his finger, pumping at an agonizingly slow pace. You pulled away from Azriel just as a moan ripped from your throat, but Azriel grabbed your hair, guiding you back down.

“If you stop, I stop,” Eris said simply, finger going still inside you.

You whined at the lack of movement, before taking Azriel’s cock into your mouth again, until your nose brushed the sparse hair at his base.

“Fuck,” Azriel grunted, fighting the urge to buck into your mouth. “There you go,” he encouraged, keeping his grip on your hair as you sucked his cock.

Eris added a second finger into your cunt, and you moaned at the stretch. “If you keep it up, maybe I’ll give you my cock,” he murmured, before curling his fingers against your sweet spot.

You were drooling around Azriel’s cock at this point, reveling in the noises that he made, and the feeling of Eris’s fingers buried in your cunt.

At the sight of Azriel’s abs tightening, you doubled your efforts, knowing his release was drawing nearer. At the same time, Eris withdrew his fingers, but quickly replaced them with his cock, filling you to the brim.

“So fucking wet,” Eris cursed, setting a punishing pace.

The vibrations from the sounds that Eris drew from you went straight through Azriel’s cock. Azriel spilled into your mouth with a guttural moan, his body shuddering as you continued your movements, milking him for all he was worth.

Azriel pulled your mouth off of him, running his thumb over your lower lip. “So good for me,” he murmured, eyes moving to watch Ers fuck you.

It wasn’t long before you felt your orgasm building, cunt fluttering as the tip of Eris’s cock kissed your cervix over and over. “F-Fuck—I can’t—oh—“

“Yeah?” Eris taunted, thrusting so hard you swore you were seeing stars. “Rhys couldn’t fuck you like this, huh? Couldn’t fuck you till you’re stupid. You’re ours,” he said, his grip on your hips bruising.

“I—I’m yours,” you babbled, on the brink of release. “All yours.”

“Come on his cock,” Azriel said, in a voice that sounded like pure sin.

You cried out, orgasm barreling through you at the same time as Eris, his thick cum coating your walls as you writhed beneath him.

As you came down from your high, Azriel pulled you up, against his chest as Eris stood, going to the bathroom for a cloth.

“Did so well for us,” Azriel whispered, stroking your hair as Eris cleaned you.

Within minutes, your eyes grew heavy with sleep, and you succumbed to it as your mates wrapped their arms around you, whispering sweet nothings.

[spirk-trek]

i did already send in one request, but if you really still want more, how about kirk's first time bottoming? maybe something where at first he's a little unsure because of the vulnerability/loss of control but ultimately feels safe with spock

hello anon... wow, it's been SO long since you sent this. i'm sorry my laptop broke before i got to you, but if you're still around, i hope you enjoy :) i’ve never written this kind of thing before so i'm sorry if the execution is a little clumsy. also, because tumblr, i can only post a few bits here.

read the rest on ao3!!!!!!!!!!!

~*~*~*~

Jim let out a delirious huff as his back hit the wall, bells from one of Spock’s several hanging decorations jingling. The sound was dainty. Timid, unlike the hands responsible for slamming him there. Those were fierce. Calculated.

[...]

His hand on the back of Spock’s head softened, petting down his neck before dragging a soothing line between his shoulders. It had been a long two weeks. There were clear signs that Spock had stayed here, in his own quarters rather than the Captain’s cabin they now shared. He could see it all around them. His dataPADD, his stylus resting beside it, the air vents pouring hot, thick air down onto them both. This is where he had been, waiting for him to return. 

“I know, sweetheart,” he murmured, hating the thought of it.

[...]

That short, agitated sound returned from deep within Spock’s chest as if it had sunk lower, nestled beneath layers that Jim would have to dig through to release.

He would. He’d do anything, anything at all to get inside this man, to live beside the unseen parts of him. He would stand guard so Spock didn't have to anymore. As long as it took, until a lifetime of coiled repression could finally be released, if only just with him. He’d be the one to finally let Spock rest.

[...]

Jim found his hand and touched their fingers together in a brief ozh'esta, sending a swell of empathy forward. He recalled the many times his mind had wandered, reaching for Spock while trying to keep a fire alive in that cave far below them.

Did we wait too long? Is that all the time we’ll ever get?

[...]

Spock began to pull his hand away but Jim summoned the energy to stop him, pushing his face back to his palm. Spock drew a sharp breath and Jim felt something grow dim and cold in his head. A flame flickering in the wind. 

“Wh- What are you doing?”

There was no answer.

“Stop it.” He felt something close to alarm begin to flood his mind, filling the empty space Spock had left. “Spock, stop, whatever-”

“I cannot,” Spock finally ground out. “Not without running the risk-”

Jim feverishly placed his hand over the back of Spock’s, trying to position his fingers with his own swollen and clumsy ones. 

“Ashay-"

“You want to meld, don't you?”

A pause, then, “Yes.” The single syllable seemed broken. Conflicted.

“You can. I want you to.”

To Jim’s surprise, he felt a tender brush of lips to the back of his neck.

“My control, ashayam, I… fear I will not be capable of maintaining it.”

He suddenly hated not being able to see Spock’s face. He closed his eyes and concentrated all his thoughts on it’s okay, you don’t have to anymore, turning to kiss the heel of his palm. He could feel fingers begin to crawl into that familiar position, that strange warmth bleeding into him.

“I’m yours,” he sighed. “My body, my mind, Spock, it’s always been yours, it’ll always be…”

He was falling. Something like wind whipped through each and every pore, every thought, every memory he’d ever had, but Spock held him tight and hard. His touch was hot even in their minds, reminding him who he was until the meld stabilized.

Yours.

Jim thought it, but he heard it too. Spock’s voice, somewhere far away and close at the same time.

[...]

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he felt Spock lie along his side, draping his limbs over Jim’s body and tucking himself into his shoulder blade. He smiled.

“No going back now, mister.”

“Back?”

He smiled even further, realizing he couldn’t imagine it, either. He’d already forgotten what he’d been before he’d been this. A shared soul. Without Spock it was like trying to imagine a stranger. Abstract. Impossible. 

He joined their hands and brought Spock’s knuckles to his lips. The last thing he was aware of was the softness of love passing over their bond before dropping off into a heavy and sudden sleep, wrapped in Spock’s arms.

~*~*~*~

it's the end! please leave feedback (either here or on ao3) if you're so inclined. i'd really appreciate it!

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

I wonder how Yves would deal with his s/o absolutely hate his guts. Like just one meeting and they already find his existence insufferable for no reason at all.

Another Anon Sent: Me , personally, would find Yves annoying as hell in real life. Mf is too composed

TW: mentions of past physical abuse (on Yves's side)

There is always a reason. Many reasons. The most glaringly obvious one is that if you don't like how he presents himself. Yves's existence already challenged a wide array of norms that had been established since the publishing of the bible. Maybe you don't like that he's a "man", "cosplaying" as a "woman". He knows a lot of people didn't, many of his old scars hidden under his turtleneck are there to prove that. Perhaps he's too good for you, unintentionally reminding you of your own inferiority. Perhaps, like what was described, he is too composed and put together that it seems suspicious.

And he understands that. He cannot please every category of people he comes across. This could mean you hating his entire being and viciously attacking his character for being the way he is. Yves accepted that, but it doesn't mean it hurts him any less. He may try his best to accommodate your wants, he can be malleable but only to a certain extent. His hair and makeup carry the weight of emotions and memories that you can never experience, and his mannerisms make up the legacy of all the crucial fragments of his life. Yves has his own identity and he cannot lose that. Without one, he knows he will fall apart and wither, all of his hard work will be for naught and you will be left unprotected.

Your hatred for him is an integral part of you, developed over years of exposure to your environment. No one is born loathing, it is the buildup of teachings from adults that causes it. As selfish as he is, he wouldn't just expunge it completely from your mind, even if he knows he can rewire your brain to an obedient little thing. That isn't you.

However, tolerance can be learned. If Yves knows you would have hated him upon initial contact, he wouldn't reveal himself too early. You still had years of maturing to catch up. He has time, he can wait. Yves will tailor your experiences, letting you mingle with diversity, and broaden your view of the world. He knows all the buttons, the levers, and the switches in your mind and how he could manipulate them to better you.

Not to say all your friends are paid actors and actresses, Yves doesn't even need to do that most of the time. All he needs is information, about who will be there, when will they be and why will they be there. And just like fate itself, Yves will bring you to them. Change needs to be gradual, the human mind simply cannot take massive shocks.

Maybe you find his tranquility irritating because you didn't grow up seeing that. Your home life could have been chaotic, unpredictable, and constantly needing you to turn on survival mode. Hence, seeing Yves as an anomaly in the world and rejecting the unknown. You're used to the mayhem, not the peace; at least in disorder, you know what to expect.

Then, Yves will give you a frame of reference. You will meet people of varying degrees of collectiveness, with him being on the extreme end of the spectrum. You will see more and more portrayals of similar personalities in the media. Then, surely but slowly, you will change.

Right?

Perhaps, no. You won't. You could stay the same and it would only mean his hypothesis wasn't correct. You might even get worse. And that is alright, this is in no way, shape or form a failure. He still succeeded, he succeeded in obtaining data. This is the scientific method, no outcome is still an outcome. It is this attitude that got Yves to where he is, to the mammoth collections in his office. He will try again, with another experiment design, with another hypothesis based on the last study's results. Why didn't it work? Was there something he missed? Did his bias get in the way? Was he not looking at the big picture this whole time?

Regardless, he will keep going. Each time, he learns something new about you that others may deem insignificant. But could potentially be the determining factor. And he notes it down without missing a beat.

That is why it takes years. That is why you're more likely to meet Yves only later in life. You still need more time to develop your views and you are constantly changing whether you like it or not.

Knowledge may not be the cure to hatred, but it is the cure to ignorance. Yves would do is present the world as best as he can in front of you, and let you think for yourself. To him, the gift of choice is the ultimate expression of love.

[lightlycareless]

Hii! I just wanted to let you know that I'm a big fan of your work!

I started of with discovering your "First it Hurts" fic on ao3, then being updated to your every post cus I look forward to every fic or hc's you make!

Also, I loved the valentines special post 💗💗 BUT IM SO CURIOUS ABOUT NAOYA'S LETTER AHH, anyways I just wanted to let yknow that I love your fics and the way you write Naoya! I hope you continue writing fics about him since there's a scarcity on Naoya fics HAHAHA, but I dont mean to pressure you! Please take your time, and I'm eagerly waiting for your new fics!

Hello!!

Awww thank you so so so much!! I'm so happy you're liking it so far!!!!! 🥺❤️ akajghajkghasgjas as well as my oneshot :>

Also, I'd like to apologize for the delay; I'm slowly working my way through requests, the main fic, and the weird schedule for my job 💀 I greatly appreciate your support and patience 🥺❤️ Also, I'll be writing Naoya fics for like, ever. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SEE HIM ANIMATED OMG ALL THE INSPIRATION.... gotta keep this small part of the fandom alive!!!!

Now... to the letter.... I feel like it would've gone something like this:

warnings: naoya is a prick, no surprise. but... he has feelings, just that he doesn't know what to do with them. this is the oneshot anon is referring to.

Happy reading!

Y/N.

I didn’t think letters were still written in these times, outside of elderly people and the socially inept, but I suppose that for certain occasions they are still necessary.

By the time you get this you’ll probably already have an idea of where I’m going with it, yet I’ll still write it down.

I cannot deny that you came onto my life in the most unexpected way, not necessarily the best either.

I didn’t like your siblings, and I still don’t. I think of them to be nothing but highly annoying, arrogant, especially your sister who seems to parade herself around Gojo and the privilege she had of knowing him.

Your brother is somewhat… calmer in that aspect, he tends to keep to himself, and I respect that. Everyone should be like that, you know?

But I’m not here to talk about them, of course, I’m here to talk about you.

When I heard that you were going to enroll, I wasn’t thrilled, I genuinely thought great, another nuisance was to grace the school grounds—I already had this preconceived idea of you and was more than ready on keeping it… until I finally I saw you.

I’m sure you’ve heard this a thousand times already, someone like you must’ve undoubtedly… but you are the prettiest girl I have ever seen in my life. Your beauty is so mesmerizing, I couldn’t believe it was real—anyone thinking otherwise is either blind, stupid, or lying. Or maybe all at the same time.

I didn’t accept those feelings at first, tried my hardest to ignore them and go back to disliking you, find a reason to hate you and move on.

But I couldn’t, and when I heard your laughter, saw your smile, or the cute way your eyes twinkled whenever you were excited about something, I knew it was impossible for me to disregard it any further.

My feelings for you had only grown more and more as time passed, and now, I find it physically impossible to contain them, but still hard to express them to you in person.

So, I resorted to this letter, which I hope will be able to accurately convey what I feel for you, if only for a fraction, until then.

What I mean to say is… If you let me, Y/N, I can show you how special you are to me.

I can give you all that you want in the world—it doesn’t matter what, whether it being money, or the stars themselves—I will not spare any expense to give you what you deserve, and I shall assess that every day of my life until my death, starting with the gifts I’ve sent you today, alongside those waiting in your dorm.

I shall call you mine. No other man will be able to lay a hand on you, and I won’t allow any other woman to do the same to me either. My eyes will solely keep to you, and you alone; I expect you to do the same.

And in turn… I don’t ask much, except that you see me the same cheerful, adorable way you see others when happy, the one that has me completely enthralled, unable to keep it off my mind for more than one second, and… accept me into your heart.

If you so decide it appropriate to get to know each other better, you know where to find me. I shall await your response.

Naoya.

As you can see, Naoya isn’t overtly romantic or good with words (I mean, the slander at the beginning lol) but he tries, as genuinely as possible—his honesty is a virtue to appreciate lol. Also, he was TREMBLING while writing this, if not crying hahaha he really almost died when he wrote you were the prettiest girl in the whole while world.

He’ll become more comfortable with it, of course, he’s a man that can’t hold himself when it comes to talking. But it’s nice to see him all shy for once 😊

Akgjakogja I’m so happy you all liked this little oneshot—I know it was quite the bomb to drop on valentine’s day, but I swear, it’s a happy ending story :>

If there’s more you want to know about that oneshot/au just let me know, I’ll be more than happy to indulge!!

Take care, and hope to see you soon!!!

[mrsnancywheeler]

I’m so sorry if I just sent this in twice but Tumbkr game a red thing so I think it ate it up-

From my last thing I did not clarify so I’m so sorry lol

I meant like imagine if she was sold off while Finnick was in district 13. Along with the mental and physical torture she was still being sexually abused. That genuinely hurts my heart. And like I said, I wouldn’t put it past the capitol, they love her tears

-🌾anon

tumblr loves eating up a poor sick girl's asks, hateful 😭 sorry this took me so long to reply too but I feel better now and my brain is back in full capacity

sweet girl literally cannot catch a break and finnick realizing that he wasn't there, that he didn't know and couldn't even be there to take care of her after, hear breaking. all he wants is to protect her and he feels like he's failed in every aspect. and I mean when she finally opens up to him about what it was like in the Capitol and briefly mentions that they kept doing what they'd always done, trying not to cry and this poor man has never hated an entire city more. my poor, poor babies waiting for a Snow free world

[screampied]

"everybody say vaginaa.."

and i was the LOUDEST PERSON.

i was like. VAGINAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

anyways hi vegina!! how has ur week going? mine has been going.. decent 😪 have u done anything fun and has anything bad happened? also i havent sent anything in for a bit so.. 🧍🏾‍♀️

the omly bad part abt my week is that i shifted to jjk and gojo decided that it would be SOOO FUNNY to fart at me. 🙂

also ur new theme is cute even tho im not in the fandom ! 😊

- 🏐

LMA HIIIIII BOLLEYBALL 🤎 i would fix that typo but i am tooo lazy man.

hiii hi. my week is going pretty okay, i’ve been busy w coding projects but im managing i suppose 🫡 i randomly woke up like a hour ago but im gonna go back to sleep soon bc i have work in like two hours heh. nothing decent happened reaaaaally. your anon emoji always gets me i miss volleyball so bad 😭 cannot wait for our season to start again maaaaan. something bad did happen tho. i sprained my ankle last week 🧎‍♀️treadmills hate me never again 🧚🏽‍♀️.

ITS OKKAAAAY i always appreciate you for taking to me anyways !! 💓 oooh you shifted? bye why can i see that as canon 🗿🗿. that’s better than shifting and getting killed by fuckass toji 😞

[anniesocsandgeneralstore]

rhett abbott x oc | an alternate universe

Summary: "we rented a place together with our friend group for vacation, but there are only double beds in every room and everyone else already found a sleeping partner" (wc: 2216)

Requested: YES by anon

Warnings: alcohol mention, there was only one bed trope, a little sexual tension, i made tess a virgin in this for reasons that cannot be explained, maria is here in the background...lurking

✎……MASTERLIST

It had been five years since high school graduation. And the Amelia County High School Rodeo Team class of 2015 decided to get together for a little reunion. Team captains, Taylor Goyer and Dalton Allen, organized the whole thing. Sent out invitations, made sure everyone paid them on time for tickets and group meals and the rental they were all staying at together.

They were turning the reunion into a real affair. A week long trip to Cheyenne for the Frontier Days. A nationally known two-week rodeo event that they all dreamed of participating in when they were teenagers. But now, most of them had given up on the rodeo life — working regular jobs with only fond memories of roping cattle, riding bareback, and wrestling steer.

Not to mention the mansion AirBnB monstrosity in Cheyenne they chose to rent. With a pool, seven bedrooms, and a kitchen big enough to feed an army. It cost a ridiculous amount, even split up between fourteen people.

They were going to trash the place, of that much Tessa Abernathy was certain. But at least they would all have fun together again. Just like those long bus rides to South Dakota or sneaking down to the hotel pool at midnight in Montana.

And despite her apprehensions about going, Tessa was excited about the trip. She hadn’t been to Frontier Days since she was a kid and even though there was always going to be a mess that needed cleaning at the rental, she was looking forward to hanging out with her old friends again. 

But the excitement quickly drained from her when they got back from their first day at the Frontier — only just now getting inside their AirBnB at nearly midnight. A day filled with midway carnival rides, taste testing beers in the garden, and exploring old frontier town.

“You’ve got t’be kidding,” Tessa said to Taylor as everyone went their separate ways in the living room — to their beds for the night.

“Sorry babe,” Taylor spoke sympathetically with a hand on her shoulder. “But ya fell asleep on the ride over.”

“So that means I have t’room with him?” she whispered back, trying not to let him hear — because, even though she didn’t want to share a room with him, didn’t mean she wanted to hurt his feelings either.

Taylor laughed lightly. “S’s just Rhett. Not like he’s gonna murder ya.”

“But — But y’said each room only has a double…” Tessa shifted her eyes over to him warily. “He’s a guy.”

He was standing at the bottom of the stairs. Duffle bag at his booted feet. At this moment, she hated to admit that he looked good. Really good. Wearing dark jeans and a t-shirt from an old rodeo, trucker-cap on his head covering those dark brown curls that stuck out the back. The veins in his forearms and the backs of his hands standing out in stark contrast in the dim light of the foyer. She also hated that he was being nice enough to wait on her.

It sparked to life something that had been living inside her since she was fourteen. An adolescent crush she thought had been snuffed out by time. But no. Apparently the only thing that was needed to bring it to life again was the prospect of sharing a bed with him. With Rhett Abbott. The only one of their old team who still lived the rodeo life. Who made a living off riding bulls and had the reputation to back it up. She was surprised he even signed up to come on this trip. 

“Tess, look, y’re a big girl. If it bothers ya so much, y’can sleep on the couch down here.” Taylor gestured to the living room where a small mid-century modern leather atrocity sat waiting for her. “Be my guest.” 

“Ugh, fine.” 

With a roll of her eyes and a heat in her cheeks she begged to God would go away, she picked up her bag and headed for the stairs. Rhett smiled, small and unsure, as she passed him. But she didn’t dare look at him for more than a second. Would rather spare herself the embarrassment for the time being.

“Last door on the left!” Taylor called out and laughed when Tessa gave her a thumbs up back without looking.

The room, at least, was nice. Hardwood floors with a nice big rug, a window seat that overlooked the backyard, an ensuite bathroom shared with the room next to them, and a four-poster canopy bed with a fluffy comforter and pillows.

With a sigh, Tessa dropped her bag by the wardrobe shoved against the wall opposite the bed. Claiming at least one space for herself. Rhett followed in shortly after that, something tentative in his steps as he set his duffle down by the door and toed off his boots.

“Y’mind if I shut the door?” he asked quietly, voice a low grumble in his chest after a long day.

“Um — y-yeah, that’s fine,” she replied, nervously rubbing at the thighs of her jeans.

Rhett closed the door softly and suddenly she felt like there wasn’t enough space in the room. Not enough air. She moved away from him slowly, trying not to make it obvious, and towards the large window. Feigning wanting to look at the view.

“Look, I, uh…I don’wanna make ya uncomfortable,” he started slowly and she turned to him with furrowed brows, listening. “I c’n jus’ — sleep on the floor’re somethin’.”

Tessa immediately shook her head. “No, m’not gonna make y’do that. N’that couch downstairs looks about as uncomfortable as these floors, so…”

They both laughed gently at that. And somehow she was starting to hate him more while simultaneously fighting down the butterflies in her stomach. Why did he have to be so courteous too? So nice? She didn’t want to make him sleep on the floor. He would be miserable, most likely sore and sleep deprived. And neither of them really wanted to subject themselves to even sitting on that couch, let alone trying to sleep on it. So there were really no other options. It was the bed for both of them. Even though the idea left Tessa’s guts swirling and her sweaty hands wringing themselves red.

“So y’re okay with sharin’?” he questioned with a glance towards the bed. 

The bed that suddenly looked so, so small.

“In a minute, maybe,” she laughed nervously, pushing a hand through her hair. “Let’s jus’...Get ready f’r bed n’bite the bullet.” 

Rhett huffed. “Makin’ it sound like y’re sharin’ a bed with an ogre.”

“M’sorry! I jus’, uh — haven’t really — done this sorta — Jesus, this’s embarrassin’,” she grumbled, trying to hide her reddening cheeks with her hands.

“Shit, Tess, I’s jokin’,” he chuckled lowly, taking his hat off with the first two fingers of his hand and setting it down on the small table by the door.

“Right.” She wanted to kick herself, or disappear into the floor, or just something. So instead she chose to grab her bag and head for the bathroom. “M’gonna change.” 

“Okay,” he laughed again with a shake of his head.

How can he be so calm about this? How can he be so casual about sharing a bed with a girl he barely knows? She supposed, as she slipped into the bathroom and locked the door behind her, he was used to this kind of thing. Going around the circuit and sleeping with whatever buckle bunny showed interest. Or at least that was what the rumor mill around Wabang liked to tell her. This was just a regular Tuesday night for him. But it wasn’t for her. She had barely even kissed a guy let alone shared a bed with one. In either sense of the word. An embarrassing factoid she liked to keep to herself, one that she hoped Rhett Abbott wouldn’t pick up on as he slept right beside her for the next six nights.

Once changed into her pajamas, with her teeth and hair brushed, Tessa came back out into the bedroom sheepishly. But she couldn’t help the delicate squeak that slipped past her lips at the sight of Rhett standing on one side of the bed. 

In nothing but his boxers. Showing off those broad shoulders and toned abdomen, that bull-rider tattoo on his chest and the scar on his shoulder, and those pale but thick thighs.

At the sound, he looked over at her with scrunched brows and thin lips downturned. Then he looked her up and down. 

“That what you wear t’bed? Seriously?”

Tessa looked down at her clothes, a pink pajama set — shorts and a tank top — with strawberries all over. She thought they were cute, and always liked wearing pajama sets to bed, even when she was alone. But now that she was standing in front of him, she just felt silly and like she needed to cover up. She crossed her arms in front of herself and gave him a look.

“That’s what you wear t’bed? Seriously?” she repeated, looking pointedly at his plaid boxers, trying to match his tone.

“S’hot!” he defended with a gesture towards the window.

“Y’could at least put on a shirt r’somethin’,” she went on, crossing the room to stand on the other side of the bed.

Rhett rolled his eyes. “S’not like y’re wearin’ much more than me.” 

“I didn’think I’d have t’share a room!” she shot back, yanking back the covers with a huff and a deep breath.

It seemed he had no rebuttal for that. Instead, he quietly slipped the t-shirt he was wearing earlier back on before sitting down at the edge of the bed. Back turned to her as he messed with his phone. 

There was relative silence between them after that. Tessa set out her slippers for the morning, knowing she was going to be the first one up and her bare toes would freeze on this floor. Then she plugged in her phone and set it on the side table, setting no alarm. There was nothing on the reunion schedule until one o’clock in the afternoon. A shared lunch at some cantina in town before heading back to the Frontier.

She settled back in the covers, trying to keep as close to the edge of the mattress as possible to keep as much space between her and Rhett. The overhead light was turned off, only the light of their respective table lamps remained. Tessa shut her’s off with another sigh she hoped didn’t sound as shaky outloud as it did in her head.

Rhett didn’t seem to notice. Too preoccupied with his phone as he kicked up his feet and leaned back against the headboard, a small smile on his face. She looked over her shoulder at him curiously.

“That Maria?” she questioned before she could stop herself.

She knew they had reconnected recently, what with Maria back in Wabang from college what seemed like permanently. And she knew Rhett always had a crush on her. Which was why Tessa’s crush always seemed like a futile and doomed little thing. Who was she in comparison to Maria Olivares? The girl Rhett’s been dreaming about since he was a kid? She had seen them hanging out together at the Handsome Gambler, even making out outside the Pit Bar once or twice. Always a fleeting thought and never something she focused on. She wasn’t sure they were dating, but they were certainly a Thing — whatever that meant for them. 

“Uh, yeah,” Rhett replied, locking his phone and setting it aside. “Tellin’ me about’er day.” 

“You gonna tell’er y’re sharin’ a bed with someone else?” she asked with a grin.

“Probably not,” he laughed. “She…Hasn’t really asked about the trip anyways, so…”

“Oh.” That seemed odd to Tessa. If she was his girlfriend, and he was gone on a week-long trip, she would be asking every day what he was doing. Wondering if he was having fun and being safe. But that was none of her business. “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt’er, I guess?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he chuckled again.

He leaned over and turned out his light, basking the room in total darkness.

The next morning, Tessa woke up first as she guessed. 

But it was the way she woke up that was entirely unexpected. 

That made her gut sink through to the floor and a heat build up so strong in her cheeks she felt like she was on fire. 

Her head wasn’t even on her pillow anymore. Somehow, she had rolled over in her sleep and was laying with her head on Rhett’s firm yet somehow comfortable chest. Her arm was draped over his torso, her leg hitched up over his hips. And his arm…His arm was curved around her waist.

His fingers shoved into the waistband of her shorts, resting against the curve of her ass.

With another delicate little squeak, Tessa pulled away from him and scrambled up from the bed. Rhett didn’t seem too bothered by her sudden and not so subtle movement. He only groaned and rolled over. A heavy sleeper it seemed. And she stared at him wide eyed, standing there still feeling his warmth on her skin.

This was going to be a long week.

i no longer have a taglist, please follow @anniesocsandlibrary and turn on notifications for updates

[veryintricaterituals]

Israel IS a fascist, genocidal, colonizer. Zionism is fascism. It’s a country that was built on the same principles of nazism. That’s what the entire country is built on. You cant separate the two. Your defense of Israel makes you complicit, and disgusting as a human being.

Well look, an anon coming mask off and full antisemitism in my ask... It was just a matter of time. Very original with your false equivalence of zionism and nazism, I am so surprised 🙀. Yes, of course, let's go and harass a random Jewish person online who is on the other side of the world and can't do jack shit about the conflict... That helps the cause and it's not antisemitic at all.

I'm not going to go into a tangent on my opinion of the Israel/Palestine conflict because firstly I don't owe it to you or to anyone (no Jewish person does), secondly it is WAY too complicated and intricate to even begin to parse it in a little blog post and thirdly it wouldn't in anyway help the people who are actually dying right now which is what we should all be doing, not sending antisemitic hateful messages to random Jews online.

But before I block and report you anon let me make a couple of things clear, which all were written in the post about my family history that I'm sure sent you my way: I don't support the current Israeli government and I've actually taken action against it which I'm pretty sure YOU anon have not. I've been to protests, I've VOTED against it and I've supported the Israeli Left and the Palestinian people with ACTIONS which most people in this website with their fucking virtue signaling that cannot say. This is just plain old antisemitism just waiting in the wings and calling people good or bad jews...

[haezen]

Hi!! I think the last time I sent you an ask was around two weeks ago, I can finally go on a mild break lol. I was wondering if I could request a military au with sakusa or if it’s much better for you to do a hogwarts one instead! Anyways, it’s no worries if you cannot but have a nice day/night :)

hi anon!! here's a lil hogwarts sakusa for u ^-^  sorry i took so long! im not sure how i feel about this one, but i figured i made you wait long enough. so here u go :D

pairing: slytherin!sakusa x reader

PART TWO is out now!

masterlist

the first time you’d ever laid eyes on your crush, sakusa kiyoomi, was in the library at hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. 

 sakusa kiyoomi (aka “the prettiest slytherin to ever exist in the history of hogwarts!” claimed your best friend) was one of the most famous quidditch players and one of the most promising scholars. yet, he happened to be sitting there in that perfect, sunny spot near the back of the library: the spot you’d been eyeing until you saw his dark, curly hair occupying the whole table.

for the first few weeks, when you’d come in at your usual time, hoping that the spot would be free, he’d be there before you and he always sat in the same spot.

then one day, it was just his spot. 

he often kept to himself despite the friends he’d made playing on the quidditch team. while his teammates could be seen teasing and hanging around the dark-haired boy, it wasn’t rare to see sakusa act like they didn’t exist. that was, perhaps, his favorite method of getting people to leave him alone.

 over the course of the semester, you began to take an interest in sakusa. 

sakusa, you realized, liked sitting by the window because that lessened the chances of people sitting near him. his table was secluded and in the back of the library, which meant that anyone who’d roam the aisles of books would still not be able to find him unless they were looking for him. he sat on the side against the wall, so that the warm sunlight that would often shine through the huge, open windows would hit his table perfectly. 

you’d sit on the opposite side of the aisle and across the room, and that meant you got a great, uninterrupted view of the quiet and brooding slytherin. 

you noticed the books he liked reading were books about muggles. it made you wonder why he took such a liking to the topic — considering he came from an affluent, pure-blood wizarding family. everybody in the wizarding world (and even some in the human world!) knew who the sakusas were, for it was unusual if the average wizarding person didn’t know who the family was. (especially because every member of the family was well known for having a particularly niche talent)  

it was also famously known that sakusa kiyoomi hated germs; he always had a mask hiding his face and the only people that knew what he looked like were people who went to see him play. you were not one of those people.

you hoped that you’d get to see the bottom half of his face one day — but seeing his gorgeous dark eyes and abnormally long eyelashes was sufficient for you at the moment. 

as the weeks went by, observing and learning new things about sakusa kiyoomi  became one of your favorite pastimes. most of the time, he would just sit there and just read, leaving you the perfect opportunity to admire his beauty from afar. 

he’d rarely ever do his homework and no one ever came to visit his table.  well, it was obvious why no one would sit at his table.

 that’s because sakusa kiyoomi was a person you’d never want to approach. especially because his presence is so overwhelmingly intimidating.

you also noticed that girls would roam the aisles of the library, and upon seeing sakusa sitting alone by the window, they’d stop and sneakily try to admire him. it’s like they were trying to muster up enough courage to make a move.  after the first few girls, the information spread like wildfire. most of the time, their staring and hesitance was obnoxiously distracting because you knew that they’d come to the library with the knowledge that sakusa often hung out in the back. all you could do was laugh quietly at their fruitless attempts and hesitance in approaching him because of his strong presence. 

no one had enough courage to approach him yet.

it took about two months before you finally interacted with sakusa. you remember your first encounter with him vividly. when you arrived at your usual time, you glanced over to sakusa’s spot to see that he was nowhere to be found. you thought it was strange considering that he was always there before you and well into reading whatever book he chose that day. as you settled into your chair and laid out all your things for your study session, an hour passed by. 

and finally, in walks sakusa.

he doesn’t bother to look your way, per usual, as he heads towards his spot; but as you watch him take his seat and settle in, you notice his unusual behavior. 

he moves slower than what can be considered a normal pace, and as he sits down, he sinks down into his chair like he’s melting. he rests his head on the back of the chair and with his eyes closed, he sighs loudly. note: loudly enough to make you look up at him from your books.

you force yourself to stop staring at him in fear that he’ll catch you and turn to you with a stern look and furrowed eyebrows. (you like to imagine every scenario possible in order to be prepared for it, in the unlikely event that it actually happens) 

as you flip through your books as an attempt to focus on your homework and find the answer you’re looking for, he indirectly commands your attention again by sneezing multiple times. the sound makes you flinch because of the sheer volume of it. out of habit and without a second thought, you mutter, “bless you.”

he turns.

when he meets your eyes for the first time, you realize he is looking at you like that because he never knew you were there to begin with. 

you are just a stranger.

“thanks.” he replies politely and his voice is shockingly deep and even has a rasp to it.

as you sit there, thinking about that bewildering expression on his face(well, what you can see from his mask), you want to be offended that it seems he never once noticed your presence. but, you choose to focus on something else. even though you’d never heard a word come out of his mouth before, you know it to be true. that’s when you put two and two together to realize that the infamous germaphobe of slytherin has come (back down to earth) with a cold.

 (after this encounter, this is the only word you hear from sakusa for a long time. you committed his voice to memory the moment he said it.)

eventually, he just stops reading the book he brought. he closes the book–this time, it was a book called twilight, you think but it was hard to decipher the title from afar—and gently lays it down to rest his head on his arms. his eyes flutter shut and he sniffs as quietly as he can manage. as you look onto his sleepy figure, you decide that it’d be a shame to let this opportunity go to waste. 

you head off to the kitchens. on the walk there, you ponder all the things you’d say once you returned to the library. would you even say anything at all? what could possibly be said to the scariest slytherin you’ve ever met?

the elves' eyes shoot to you as you waltz inside, greeting you with cheery hello’s. you decline their generous offers to make the tea for you and insist that you must do it yourself.  you brew the tea, say your goodbyes and head back to the library.

when you return, sakusa has fully fallen asleep. his breathing (because you can hear it from your table) is slightly ragged and he sleeps as if he hasn’t slept properly in days. you tip-toe to his table and set down the tea cup in front of him as carefully as you can while watching closely to see if you’d disturbed him in the process. with a sigh of relief at success, you go back to your spot and continue to study.

 he actually slept for a while after that and you’d gotten lost in your studies. stuck in your own world, you failed to see the signs of a sleepy sakusa start to stir and wake up. as he lifts his head up groggily, you try your hardest to ignore him so he doesn’t suspect you were responsible for it. when he notices the cup of tea in front of him, he looks around curiously before dipping the tip of his finger in the cup; you assume he does so to check the temperature. then, sakusa pulls out his wand, and effortlessly casts a simple spell. he pulls his mask down to his chin and out of the corner of your eyes, you sneak a glimpse at his face. 

he is just as breathtaking as you imagined.

now, he can enjoy the tea made just for him by the generosity of a kind stranger, at just the right temperature to soothe his aching throat.

you smile to yourself when he hums in delight.

this continues on for a while. since the two of you had a routine, you made sure to get to the library early enough to leave a piping hot cup of tea – until you decided that he was well again. 

he obviously wasn’t sick anymore, but you liked the glimpse of joy that flashed in his eyes upon seeing a cup of tea waiting for him. 

today, you were running late. you slept in dangerously late, and only had twenty minutes to study before your exam today. when you walked into the library and headed towards your table, there was a cup of tea waiting for you. your heart almost fell to the floor at the sight of it because it was made just how you make it for sakusa.

when you turn to sakusa, ready to thank him, you discover that his nose is shoved into a book. you smile to yourself, knowing he isn’t watching your reaction.

as you sit down and daringly take a sip, you can’t help the hum of delight that follows. a sound that mirrored that of when sakusa first took a sip of the tea you made for him, weeks ago.

the two of you ignore each other like usual, both enjoying the quiet atmosphere of the library while doing your own work. as you take the last sip of your tea, you can’t help but glance over at sakusa. he’s packing up to leave and as he stands up, he hooks his finger around his mask to pull it down, baring his face to you. your cheeks flush. you’re touched by the gesture because you know how rarely sakusa is seen without his mask — you think he’d rather be caught dead than seen without it.

you realize you’re staring, unable to take your eyes off of the sight of his naked face. he’s usually used to the reaction, but to see it from you makes him feel uncharacteristically shy. 

“don’t expect this to be a regular thing.” he deadpans.

you wave him off, shaking your head. “i don’t expect anything, but thank you. it was really kind of you.”

sakusa never does anything for anyone else. he doesn’t have the time or energy to do anything out of the kindness of his own heart. but to be called kind, especially by you, someone who he has never talked to, makes him feel unsure. 

when he arrived at the library on that one day, feeling sick and more irritable than normal,  seeing his favorite flavor of tea waiting for him at his spot warmed his cold heart. who knew sakusa kiyoomi had one?

he just had to return the favor. to know that he might owe someone a favor bothered him to no end. sakusa told himself that he was simply just returning the favor and not because he wanted an excuse to talk to you, because he doesn’t need friends. but when he saw the genuine look of happiness on your face, he realized that he might like doing things for other people – okay, maybe just you. 

he reminds himself that he doesn’t have the time for anyone else (komori and atsumu demand enough of his attention) but he supposes if he can see that look on your face one more time, putting a little effort in might be worth it. 

he hums in response, pulling his mask back up and he starts to head out. 

“sakusa!” you call out, a little louder than what’s deemed acceptable in the library.

he casts a glance over his shoulder. 

“thank you again.” you smile warmly at him and he thinks his heart might just explode. the tips of his ears flush red and in a panic, he nods in acknowledgement because he doesn’t trust his voice.

and it did become a regular thing.

[kedreeva]

Steve gets to have the talk with Jonathan that he wanted to have at the end of S1

I know who sent this one, and I know why she went on anon, and I SEE YOU, SUNSHINE.

collected on AO3

-----

It doesn’t take long for Steve to feel out of place in the too-bright waiting room. He’s exhausted and achy and still reeling from spinning his entire life hard 180 degrees only to find himself in utter freefall. He’d already had his own injuries looked at and been told to have someone keep an eye on him for his concussion, but there was no one at home, so he’d collapsed into the nearest unoccupied chair.

But now the lights are too bright and the kids had all shot up to see their friend when he woke up, and the adults had either gone with them or disappeared for business, and Steve finds himself once again alone. The silence - or near-silence anyway - is nice, but every time the dying light down the hall flickers, his heart kicks his ribs and he’s right back in Jonathan’s living room. He’s watching the girl he loves point a gun at his face while his misconception of the world as a safe place falls apart behind her.

He heaves himself to his feet, and heads for the door.

The chill November air greets him sharply, and he welcomes the way it braces him. He doesn’t go far – not supposed to be alone – just leans against the cold bricks of the front entrance to take a few deep breaths. He closes his eyes, head tipping back against the stone.

The door opens to his right, and he hates the way his hands twitch for a weapon, so he sticks them in his pockets as Jonathan joins him. He doesn’t know what to say, how to break the ice; he’d broken too much already in the past 24 hours. How can the knowledge of what he’d said live right there beside the knowledge that he’d lay down his life for this boy without a single thought? Sorry isn’t big enough to bridge the gap he'd made between them.

“How’s your brother?” he says, because he has to say something or he’ll crawl out of his skin and they’ve had enough of that tonight.

“Alive. Happy to see his friends,” Jonathan says, not looking over as he leans back against the wall now that he’s had an invitation. He puffs out a laugh. “Maybe not as happy as the kids were to see him.”

Steve manages a thin smile around the shards of his heart. He cannot imagine having friends that care that much, the sort that would go to the ends of the earth for him, that would burn it to the ground to save him. Tommy’s loyalty ended at a single rejection.

Jonathan may have rightfully kicked Steve’s ass, but he’d also taken his hand. He can still feel the gut-pull shiver of Jonathan demanding jump and his own instant and unthinking obedience. He can still see the flicker of lights through the window. He can still hear his one, crystal thought: he can’t leave them.

Not Nancy. Them.

“They’re good kids,” he says quietly. “Your brother too.” His breath twists up in his lungs as his face pinches up. “Look, I uh- I shouldn’t have said what I said about him. Or you.”

Jonathan remains quiet, not looking at Steve for so long that Steve nearly opens his mouth to continue the apology he’d gone there to make, but Jonathan beats him to the punch again. “It was pretty shitty of you. Honest, but shitty.”

“It wasn’t,” Steve says, and then quickly amends- “Honest, I mean. That’s why- I don’t know, dude. Maybe you knocked some sense into me. I was being a huge dick to you because I couldn’t handle my own problems.”

“King Steve has problems?” Jonathan asks, though it sounds more like a barb than a question.

Steve pulls a hand from his pocket to run it through his hair. “I guess,” he says with a little shake of his head. “I don’t know what it is about Nancy. It’s like… she’s the first person that’s ever looked at me like she just… expects me to be a better person than I am. And the crazy thing is, when she looked at me like that, I wanted to be, I just… I didn’t know how. I either had to climb up to her level or drag her down to mine and when I saw I saw the two of you, I was just… I dunno. Furious.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Jonathan says. It’s not the truth, Steve knows; or at least, it’s not the whole truth.

“It was, but that’s not- that wasn’t it. I thought it was, but it wasn’t,” Steve admits. It feels weird to say it aloud. “I thought I was mad that she… would come down to my level, I guess? After I let myself think… it doesn’t matter. And I was mad at you for… I dunno. Being the reason.”

“Nothing happened, Steve,” Jonathan says, a little hotly.

“That’s not true,” Steve says. “I mean, yeah, okay, you two didn’t screw or whatever, but… something happened. She went to you for help. Not me. Or, y’know, it’s- it’s worse than that. She did come to me, and I was too much of an asshole to help her. I was too worried about my dad’s opinion. He’s not even- It’s stupid. I should have helped her sooner. I was furious at myself for not listening to her. I should have.”

Jonathan doesn’t argue that, and Steve tries again to pull the knife of the realization from his gut, but it doesn’t move. She’d needed help, and he’d walked away, and he’d gotten exactly what he’d deserved for it. He’d gotten off easy, looking back.

“Well, you can’t go back,” Jonathan says, almost as if he’d read Steve’s mind. “None of us can, after this. There's only forward.”

“Yeah,” Steve agrees. He’s going to try to get back to normal, or make a new normal at least. He’s going to make sure they think this is over, and then he’s going to do his level fucking best to forget any of this ever happened.

Almost any of it, anyway. Maybe not the part where he's trying, now.

“I’m sorry,” he says, trips over the words in his rush to make good on his decision. “I meant- I meant to say that, before. It’s why I… came over to your place. I wanted to apologize. Even before the monsters.”

He’d wanted to apologize once the monster had gone, but Nancy had rushed them into the cars and told him to meet them at the school gymnasium, and then they’d been so frantically trying to find where the kids had disappeared to that nothing had even been explained until they finally sat down at the hospital. Steve still isn’t sure he totally understands, but he’s not sure if there’s explanation missing or if it’s the concussion talking.

“I already… told Tommy and Carol off, that bridge burned pretty goddamn quick. I cleaned off the theater sign. I was coming to apologize to you, and then I was going to see Nancy, and apologize to her, too,” he adds, remembering the speech he’d thought about the entire drive out to Jonathan’s house. “I want to do better. I messed up and I don’t know if I can make up for it, but I want to do better.”

“Okay,” Jonathan says. Simple as that.

“Okay?” Steve echoes dumbly.

Jonathan shrugs and pushes away from the wall. “Yeah. You want to do better- okay. But, I’m freezing my ass off out here. Come back inside.”

Jump.

Steve pushes away from the wall, too, and follows him inside.

[tigerlyla-of-metinna]

It was always only Cirvran, Cyrus, Iornon, someone else… And I made my pictures, and waited and waited for some good people to notice vernilla…but people came only to laugh and insult. They gave me false hope instead of real interest or help with the ship. Nobody is interested in writing about VC. Nobody is interested in drawing VC. No one is interested in praising VC and reblogs. You too.

When a new drawing with a cirvran or ceris appears, it’s boom. When a new drawing from the CC appears, no one except the haters on reddit cares…

No one cares how much time and effort I spent on a screenshot or how much money on an unfortunate commission (which I often struggle with finances)…. It’s not a popular ship, which means it’s not worth your attention.

When a new drawing with the VC appeared, I wanted to rejoice with you and others in my joy. You didn't appreciate it. Instead, you supported a fanfic about the murder of the VC, making me understand where the place for this ship is.

Before I answer this essay. I'll answer the 2nd shorter message you sent me.:

First, talk to a therapist/counselor. Or a friend (Sol isn't a friend, have you seen what that person wrote behind your back?) that you've not pissed off with your years worth of harassing spams. This, is also spam: just worded differently but still the same. This is the reason why you are infamous: the anon spam, the force-feeding of your RocheCiri ship to not only those who pair Ciri or Roche with anyone else, but monkey-branching the ship to unrelated fandoms.

"Nobody is interested in drawing VC. No one is interested in praising VC and reblogs. You too."

Excuse me? Nobody? There are fanarts posted on your IG, and here on tumblr about VC, others who made screenshots of VC, an ai of Vernilla, and even mentioned you as inspiration. People here even reblogged your screenshots, including me! stories have been written when you requested from the right people. It's not hard to look. You had notes that exceeded twenty!

But you did not appreciate these fine folks who did this for you. You choose to ignore the support. It's always Freaky Friday with you: You lavish attention to the dislikes and neglected your supporters. All you notice are those who don't like the rareship. All you talk/air about are those who hate RocheCiri, envy at other pairings. As for those who did show support, you attacked them for having and liking other ships, deface their art, and harrassed them -and their followers- with spam!

Change your focus! Look at the supporters, if there is still some left after how you've been treating and ignoring them lately. Go back to your old posts and see the notes and reblogs! Learn to show appreciation!

When a new drawing from the CC appears, no one except the haters on reddit cares…

....Big mistake: reddit is nuclear toxic than this hellsite. You had a bad, nay, terrible experience on reddit and decided to drag even your supporters along with them. I do not post my Cirivran shots because I know I will get roasted. I posted my fanart of Cirivran and it got a good roasting. Also, responding to hate with aggression, especially on reddit, will bite you in the ass.

here are the curated response I got when posting my Heirs of Nilfgaard:

Cirivran or Ciri x Morvran isn't for everyone, just as Roche x Ciri isn't for everyone. But that is ok. You can't force those who don't like it to like it. I cannot force Roche x Ves, Roche x Iorveth, Ciri x Cerys to accept my ship. Respect differences of opinions and you will get along with the multishippers and your little rarepair will sail smoothly with others.

Do you see me rant and rave about how there are those who hate this ship? I focus on the support, not the hate.

Shipping isn't a pageantry or a popularity contest. I do not ship Cirivran to be popular. I help Cirivran EXIST by making art, editing shots, writing snippets and supporting those who write them.

Same with an even rarepair CirixRegis or Ciregis. I contribute to it's existence (not popularity), by sharing pics. Another rarepair that has not left the shores yet is Ceskel (CerysxEskel), and one of this days, I will put this into the fandom seas!

I did my part with Roche Ciri by sharing it on IG, linking your tumblr accounts and reblogging. I would've made a Roche fanart (I had Roche wearing Nilf colors based on your shots in the works for 2023). I would even do it for free! But what do I get for my support? SPAM HATE for MY SHIP and personal insults!

I do not reward nasty behavior!

"No one cares. No one appreciates. No one is interested."

These are all over every spam you sent. The antagonizing. The gaslighting. You need help. Professional help. Get off the fandom, off social media, off the world wide web. Go take a vacation, see some sights, explore other mediums.

TLDR:

Stop the spam. Notice AND appreciate your supporters instead. Take a break. And get off Reddit! STOP. THE. SPAM.

Until you get yourself sorted out, I will no longer respond to anything you send, and dump them straight to the bin.

[starlazergazer]

Hii!! I’m the anon who asked if u had an ao3, and I’m sooo glad I can have all your fics in one PDF thank u so much 🙏 I can quickly pressed the download button so fast. youre genuinely one of my fav anakin fic writers in the entire galaxy (far far away). Your writing is so so gorgeous and complex, and it just feels soooo real—how each person has their own depth—so much thought is put into every word and how it’s framed.

I just read your latest fic, Separated, and my god I SOBBED. It was SO good. I was listening to sad songs too, to get more into the mood, and it made me cry even harder. My heart just dropped out of my body when Reader and Anakin were saying their last words towards each other through the call: they were so emotionally close but so physically far from each other. How they were imagining a different life where everything was more softer and happier, that living handle their souls more gently, when in reality one was killing her, and the other was walking towards a path of destruction? AARAAGGH IM GOING CRAZY WITH YOUR WRITING (COMPLIMENT). I can’t wait to see the second part and how you plan to execute the follow up.

Btw. Do you have any tips on how you can finish writing stories? You write so much and it’s all such high quality. How do you do it? I have so many ideas but I never actually commit to it. I have this idea where Reader is also on par with Anakin’s skills as a mechanic except she gets extreme motion sickness, which I think would be so funny considering she’s good at building ships but not flying them.

(I really hope you’re okay with me posting this I know your first message was sent anonymously so I wasn’t sure but if you’re not definitely just let me know and I’ll get rid of it) but Oh my god I sobbed reading this 😭. Genuinely this is the biggest compliment I’ve ever received and it means so much to me I’m positively overflowing right now and a little upset I cannot find the words to properly express how much this means to me. I already go back through some of the messages Ive received periodically as a little pick-me-up but I already know this one will be revisited weekly it just means so much to me the way you’ve picked up on everything I’ve tried so hard to do well in my writing making the dialog and situations and characters feel real and complex and messy ugghhhhh I love you so much this means the world 🫶🏻

As far as writing tips for finishing stories I have many cause it’s definitely something I struggle with all the time lol! I’d say the biggest thing for me is to focus on just getting something down rather than finishing a certain work. At any one time I have four or five word documents open on my computer because I’m regularly only writing a scene or a piece of dialog or literally just an idea. A lot of the time I get halfway through something and decide I hate it but keep it there anyways. What usually ends up happening though is I take ideas or scenes from all the different pieces and drop them into my “main story” if I think they fit well so it all works out in the end but just writing (even if it’s not related even remotely to what you feel like you “should” write) is ultimately what’s important.

I also regularly skip around when I’m writing. I find I like writing the big plot points or bits of dialogue the most so a lot of the time I write those first then fill in the gaps later. Finishing a story is a lot less daunting when you already have all of the big pieces in place and just need a few tiny bridges to bring everything together.

Lastly I would say again just get something down on the paper. I’ve written a lot of really bad stuff lol and sometimes I can feel it while I’m writing it and there’s a part of me that wants to just delete it and start over but having the ideas down on the page is always 100% better than having nothing and editing the crap out of what you already have is way easier than starting over from scratch.

Anyways that’s probably way more than what you wanted lol but I really hope it helps! I think just remember this is supposed to be fun, if you’re getting frustration or exasperation out of it more than anything totally feel free to take a step back. I’m known to go MIA for months at a time cause I have periods where I just am not feeling it and forcing myself through it does nothing for anyone.

Seriously though thank you thank you thank you I’m so absolutely overjoyed that you like my writing enough to want to keep it in any form it means the absolute world to me! Also good luck with your potential fic! Tag me if/when you finish it! I’ve been wanting to do a mechanic reader fic forever but never gotten far enough into actually planning it out to start writing anything so I’d love to see your take on it

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

Random silly idea that came up in my random silly head again(i cant believe i just typed that)

A reader that used to work for the Tsaritsa and was practically like a harbinger despite having no connections to the harbingers aside from maybe a couple interactions with the top 3. The Tsaritsa used them as a spy and an informational collector, and they are also pretty strong(as imaginable from someone who steals important information from dangerous sites 24/7)

However, after getting more and more information about such disturbing things, they of course start disliking and soon, hating such a job. However, if they are to ever leave or quit, they would be killed as they hold too much important information and cannot be trusted to wonder around with such knowledge. So they escaped from the fatui and are actively hiding from agents so that they don’t get killed.

Childe had known about them when they worked under Tsaritsa but just like any harbinger under the rank of top 3 he didn’t knew much about them. After being stuck as FL, he is also actively on the run from the fatui, but unlike the reader he would probably just get captured and sent to some sort of cage while reader wouldn’t face any less than a death penalty. When FL and Reader meet, needless to say they understand each other’s situations more than well. So they hide together and try to get out of the mess which they are both tangled in.

I thought of pretty angsty stuff with this scenario, but i guess where it leads us to goes to you :)

- 👻anon

ohhh dear anon can i just say, i LOVE your random silly head so much :D

you swore you'd never get close to anyone- not while you're in this position, anyway, hiding and running from the Fatui. it's not a life you'd wish on anyone, constantly having to move and watch your back, never trusting anyone since they could be a spy in disguise just waiting to drag you back to the Tsaritsa for your looming execution. it'd be a cause for celebration, you're sure, the death of a Snezhnayan traitor. so you keep your distance from everyone, interacting only when you need to and leaving at the first sign of trouble

until you meet Childe one day in the woods of Liyue

you didn't plan to take him with you, only patch up his injuries and see him on his way, because despite being a Fatuus you couldn't bear to see any creature in pain. it breaks your heart to hear the strange, horned beast whine and gasp when you bandage each wound, and afterwards he turns and collapses, head on your lap and crystalline eye looking at you pleadingly

he purrs when you hesitantly pet him, weak but steady, and you sigh and know that you're a pushover

even after you tried to leave him to his own devices, he just keeps following you, never even trying to disturb anything but eagerly fluttering his wings and chirping when you turn to look at him. once it was clear he wasn't just going to leave you reluctantly learned his name, the monster happily nudging your hand towards scratches on the ground that spelt "Childe". admittedly it is quite nice to have a companion after all these months alone, especially one who presses his cheek into your hand, purring and trilling whenever you give him attention. late at night Childe holds you, stroking your hair and letting out soft croons and whines as you struggle against the grasp of the nightmares that come whenever your eyes close, clawed hands gently wrapped around your own smaller fingers in comfort

one day, you find out he's Tartaglia, the Eleventh Harbinger, and oh, he hates the look of fear in your eyes, the pure terror you emit when you're normally so steeled and determined. he whimpers desperately, lowering his head to seem smaller and less intimidating, crying out when you instinctively back away because you're going to die, you've messed up and you can't escape oh Archons-

Childe's head softly presses underneath your chin, careful not to prod you with his horns, and your hands land in his thick ginger hair. he's sitting now as you stand, petting his fluff nervously, his claws clinging to your shirt as he coos. he won't betray you, he promises- he's being chased and hunted too, like an animal. you can be chased together so please, please stay?

he loves you too much to handle your absence

[ruthlesslistener]

We sure do live in a society, don't we.

The anons sending you hate are doing my head in. Like, I can completely understand why they bristled at your initial response, because as someone who writes Ghost as an adult in a child's body (hi, Gently, my beloved fic that is drowning from my dead muse), I had a kind of similar "hey wait" response at first.

But then you CLARIFIED. You took the time to ask, listen and let others educate you on another POV. It may not have changed your own personal HCs (and that's OK!!!), but you clarified your meaning was not people like me - it was not the average person who spurred it - and that's all anyone can really ask for. You don't have to agree with or ask people.

The best part of fandom is taking bits and pieces of each other's ideas and using them to decorate our sand castles and make them our own. That means "I wouldn't spin it that way but I liked reading how you did it." It also sometimes means "Oh I cannot get behind that but I respect your right to."

I think it says a lot that people are on anon, rather than actually talking to you and giving you a chance to engage with them one-on-one. I'm not sure I would label them trolls. I think their feelings got hurt and they are lashing out because of it, in an impolite way, rather than stopping to listen to explanations. I am going to give the benefit of doubt and assume that ill-intent wasn't meant, and that the reason they're on anon is that anxiety has them going "if I say it on my main, I'm going to get flamed because I offended popular tumblr user." To that I say: If you weren't on anon, Aren could've replied privately to you, and likely would have. A one-on-one conversation can go a large way for trying to clear up misunderstandings.

TBH, I probably could've just sent all of this on Discord but I just am frustrated. Asks like the ones you received are why I am terrified of sharing my own headcanons, why I assume anyone asking me ANY opinions has bad faith, and why everything I say has a giant ass disclaimer on it with "THIS IS LIKE, JUST MY OPINION GUYS" and we shouldn't have to do that. We shouldn't have to sit and police everything that we say because Someone Might Twist It.

Anyway, sorry. I just needed to put this out here because I was about to blow up on my own blog. lmao

Thank you tumblr user grollow I appreciate it immensely and I agree with everything you said about fandom being a sandbox made more fun by people having different ideas that make things fun to play with. It's just that I've been off in my corner playing relatively on my own for a bit, which kinda fucks over the amount of context you get on things a bit. And also the miscommunication had the misfortune of landing squarely in the intersection between 'things I really don't like' and 'things that have a canon basis but lack canonical descriptive details', turning it into a shitshow. Which I really really fucking wish didn't happen, even if I did enjoy discussing the pros and cons of different mental interpretations of Ghost and was able to come to the conclusion that it's about as appealing to me as a slice of apple pie. Which is to say, I like certain bits of it and will gladly nibble at said bits, but if there's any other option out there I'd take it over pie anyday. It's not bad and I certainly do enjoy it in extremely specific context, but it also doesn't appeal to me in the slightest and there's certain parts that I refuse to touch altogether (the texture of cooked fruit makes me cringe and nauseates me, much like the idea of Ghost being an adult trapped in a child's body from a horror perspective incites panic). But that's fine, bc then I can just plop the filling onto a friend's plate for their enjoyment, and nibble away at the bits I like in piece. My dislike of pie doesn't extend to the people who enjoy it, nor do I get upset when my brother refuses to eat what I cook for him. He's picky, I'm picky, I've got no right to judge. He's just as valid for saying my cream cheese frosting is gross as I am for thinking him refusing to eat anything but mac n cheese and scrambled eggs is gross. Same concept with fandom here

(And honestly, my judgement on the whole minor/adult thing is seperate from Ghost as a character altogether. I'm of similar mind with Miquella of Elden Ring, who is canonically an adult trapped in a child's body. Having a relationship with him in his child form would be fucked up- hell, even Mohg goes for breaking the curse first, and Mohg is canonically fucking insane! This isn't something limited to just one fandom, it's a hard line I draw in fiction in general)

Also yeah, I totally would have just worked it out in private, but I get the feeling the anon thinks I'm running some sort of clique or something over here where I would have twisted it into clout somehow. Which needless to say, I would not fucking do. Can't say this enough, but I'm autistic as all getout and had to deal with that enough in high school so I have nothing but contempt for that sort of behavior.