#cant even remember when its not a thing

[scrabbleknight]

Extreme anxiety feels like you're going to die, all the time. Your heart races for no reason, you're constantly looking at the clock and every minute that passes is just counting down to whatever. Whatever that is, it makes you feel dread.

So you pause. You pause to think. You pause to breathe, but the clock keeps ticking. Tick, tick, tick. You realise that the time you took to breathe, you did nothing. The world moves always and you once again feel that heart in a state of panic. You wasted precious minutes in an attempt to calm down but it fails. Now, you're just as fidgety as before, maybe even worse.

You hate it. You hate how it makes me feel. You can't even go to sleep in peace. Your nights filled with terror of tomorrow, telling you that "You shouldn't sleep. You're wasting precious time sleeping." but you're tired. You're very very tired, and it never stops being tiring. It's like having enough energy, enough willpower, enough everything just to function, but not enough to feel comfortable.

You're dying. You're counting the seconds. But it's not death that you're afraid. No, you're afraid of everything else before that. You're afraid of life.

[mummer]

just saw asteroid city last night, pls explain the proposed significance of the kiss!!

answering this publicly hope thats ok! cant do a readmore im on mobile *****asteroid city spoilers below beware*****

i dont remember anyones names so this is gonna sound partly unhinged. okay so the edward norton playwright and jason schwartzman actor (not character, in the black and white parts) are lovers right. tbh i thought this was kind of a gag and forgot about it. but later we find out that the playwright died 6 months into the production. i didnt make the connection that THAT’s why the actor-jason has to suddenly leave the stage and freaks out backstage about how he’s not sure he’s Doing it right. hes not talking about acting!! because he himself is literally grieving his lover while he’s playing a character who’s grieving his wife written by his lover so obviously it’s too much!!! actor-jason is trying to find meaning in his death through his writing but there isnt any meaning in death [gerris drinkwater voice] which is what the play is trying to say anyway. he doesnt think he’s performing grief right even in his own life!!! (and tbh it’s the 50s so he wouldnt be able to perform grief publicly anyway!!!!) the play starts with a car accident… anyone would search for some hidden meaning there, some sign…. so when he talks to margot robbie outside it’s not really about finding the CHARACTER’s motivations it’s about the actor himself being able to process the playwright’s death! and adrien brody director was probably also dealing with that too (him and norton seemed to be good buddies) so the whole “sleeping backstage” thing gets a bit sadder maybe? maybe everyone else got this in the theatre and im just stupid lol but crazy making stuff to me!!! the whole story is about sublimated gay grief that cannot be expressed?!?!

the tweet that caught me onto this was here which posits that the playwright’s death was a suicide but i think that’s pretty stupid and unnecessary because the whole thing about the play asteroid city is that death is random and meaningless. im pretty sure that’s what the alien represents— a shocking and absurd event that isnt outright evil or menacing, not something anyone can predict or make sense of, it’s just a thing that happens to you out of nowhere, it doesnt mean anything. he’s a little black figure, he’s death! giving and taking! aagh

[meatlessmcmuffin]

stop thinking so hard about it dude ur gnna get a headache

[tangledinink]

For the Swanatello fam: what does everyone miss most about Donnie during his lake-induced absences?

for donnie, leo will gladly give every scrap of patience and grace and gentleness he has. he doesn't mind explaining things. he doesn't mind telling his brother the same things over and over. he doesn't mind it when donnie forgets or doesn't understand or needs his help to remember or process things.

but he misses the banter. the back-and-forth. the stupid fights and pranks and 'you said's' and 'i told you so's.' and, perhaps a bit selfishly, he misses when he didn't always feel like he had to be the bigger person for him. he misses when he still had the space to be childish and immature and petty towards his twin, and it wouldn't hurt either of them the way it tends to now.

[ swanatello ]

[skunkes]

[bringina]

bioware really said "i made this whole ass cool as fuck last second reveal in absolution that gives dreadwolf so much potential, so help me if y'all say dragon age 2 is a bad game that can just be skipped in the triology ONE MORE TIME I WILL SEND MEREDITH TO BEAT YOUR ASS-" and honestly that is so correct of them

[puppyeared]

man

[mbat]

this was an idea i had last year that i found in my files and decided to revive. woe, angst be upon ye

[cent-scratchnsniff]

i wish to be your shadow , forever behind you , even if i am not good enough

plus some extra. they are quite literally metal boxes. i wonder how large they are in actually. im assuming human size? i also never realized just how complicated hokma's was.. i think its all the gears

[spookberry]

unrelated to my previous manga complaints, but do you ever like read a romance and just find yourself completely uninterested in all the side characters but the mangaka clearly really likes the side characters to the point where the secondary romance becomes just as prevalent as the main characters and actually cuz the main characters have gotten together now the rest of the manga is just going to be brief snippets of fluff for them and then chapters of dedication to the second ship getting together but you dont even care about the secondary characters so you just like skip all of it????

[yuridovewing]

i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.

what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.

in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?

obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)

[newvegascowboy]

One thing that bugs me about the switchboard mission is carrington's prototype. Afaik its never brought up again. We don't even know what it does. What thr fuck is it? Why was it worth going back to the switchboard for? WHAT DOES IT DO??????

[llitchilitchi]

I get hating certain political systems and trying to abolish totalitarian regimes but at the same time many of them are so interwoven with our history and society they have become tropes and when I consume media with a setting where the monarchy is absolute and revered then I am playing my part and sucking that princeling off

[ef-1]

girlhood

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.