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areyoufuckingcrazy · 27 days ago

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“Crossfire” pt.4

Commander Cody x Reader x Captain Rex

They were finally getting somewhere with the mushrooms.

Three months of trial and error, of accidentally poisoning themselves and burning entire patches with poorly timed irrigation. But these mushrooms—these beautiful, lumpy, squat little bastards—were finally growing like they meant it.

Until the sky tore open with a screech.

The kid looked up from his sketching in the dirt. “Is that…?”

A fireball. A very fast, very large fireball.

It roared overhead, trailing smoke and sparking debris like a comet, then slammed into the far end of the field with a sound that shook the gods themselves. The shockwave knocked her flat on her back. A chunk of metal thudded into the side of the barn, and a burning piece of hull rolled to a stop near the compost heap.

The mushrooms were gone. Instantly vaporized.

The kid blinked. “Are we under attack?”

She sat up slowly, picked a rock out of her hair, and said the only thing that made sense in that moment:

“I am going to kill whoever just landed in my fucking mushrooms.”

She marched across the field in a rage, boots kicking up clouds of dust, coat flapping behind her like she was Death herself. The kid trailed a few meters back with the loth-cat perched on his shoulders like a greasy, purring scarf.

The escape pod was smoldering. Not just any escape pod—Republic grade.

She felt her stomach twist.

No. Nope. Not today. Not after three months of near-blissful obscurity and only mild mushroom poisoning.

The hatch hissed open with a sputter of hydraulic release.

And then he climbed out.

Tall, leather-clad, mouth already smirking with too much arrogance for one face—Skywalker.

She stopped in her tracks. “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Following behind him, covered in soot and looking like she also couldn’t believe this was happening, was Ahsoka.

Then Kenobi.

Then—oh, stars help her—Rex.

And finally Cody, stepping down from the pod with a limp and a muttered curse, brushing ash from his shoulder armor.

Her field. Her house. Her whole damned quiet life—gone in an instant.

“Someone explain to me,” she said loudly, gesturing wildly at the crater of destroyed mushrooms, “how five of the most high-profile beings in the galaxy managed to land ass-first in my farm.”

Skywalker grinned like this was a game. “Nice to see you too.”

Kenobi cleared his throat. “We had a malfunction. Emergency crash landing. Our transport was shot mid-atmosphere—we were the only ones who made it out.”

“Out of where?”

“Teth orbit.”

Of course.

She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Let me guess. You tracked a separatist fleet here. Or were you following rumors? Or chasing shadows? Or—wait—did the Force just tell you to nose-dive into my crop field like a meteor from hell?”

Cody stepped forward, pulling off his bucket slowly. His hair was longer. The circles under his eyes were darker.

“You’re alive,” he said quietly.

She stopped.

All the sarcasm, the frustration, the fire—it dulled under his voice.

Rex took a slow step forward too, eyes locked on her. “Why the hell didn’t you answer your comms?”

The kid tugged at her sleeve and whispered, “Are you in trouble?”

She exhaled. Long and deep.

“Probably.”

⸻

The crash site had been repurposed into an impromptu camp, with scavenged supplies and makeshift shelters haphazardly lining the edge of the scorched mushroom fields. The fire from earlier had finally died down, though it left a thick charred stink that clung to everything—including her mood.

The kid had fallen asleep in the barn with the loth-cat curled up on his chest, blissfully unaware that the entire Republic just landed back in their lives.

She sat on a crate near the dying embers of a fire, nursing a bottle of something stronger than patience.

“Didn’t think we’d find you like this,” Rex said, taking a seat beside her, slow and deliberate. His armor was still half-dusted with ash, his brow furrowed with unreadable emotion.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t find me at all,” she said, voice quiet but honest. “No offense.”

“None taken. But it’s been months. You ghosted the whole galaxy. You think people wouldn’t start asking questions?”

“I didn’t want to be asked any.”

He glanced toward the barn. “Is that the kid?”

She nodded. “His name’s Kes. He likes sand. Which is—just disgusting. But he’s a good kid. Strong. Smart. Weird little Force meditations with wookiees seem to be helping his anxiety.”

Rex tilted his head. “You… meditated?”

She narrowed her eyes. “Mock me again, Captain, and I’ll bury you in what’s left of the tomato patch.”

He gave a soft, short laugh. “You know… it suits you. You with dirt on your face, pretending like you’re not still dangerous.”

“Dangerous doesn’t go away, Rex. It just… changes form.”

A silence settled between them. Heavy. Familiar.

“Did you disappear because of him?” he asked quietly.

“I disappeared because it was the only way to keep him alive.”

He nodded slowly, accepting that answer—if only partially.

⸻

Later, it was Cody who found her.

She was checking the irrigation lines, pretending she still gave a damn about their soggy, half-dead crops. The torchlight danced across his armor as he stepped out from the shadows near the treeline.

“You could’ve told me,” he said.

She didn’t look up. “Would’ve been easier if I did, yeah. But I figured I’d said enough back then. Too much.”

He didn’t answer immediately. He walked over, crouched beside the irrigation tube, and tested the flow valve like he actually knew what he was doing.

“Place is a mess,” he muttered.

“Thanks.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“I know what you meant,” she said, cutting him off gently. “And it is. It’s a disaster. But it’s… mine. Ours, I guess. Until now.”

He stood up, jaw tight. “You’ve got half the Council questioning your loyalty, the Chancellor missing you, and Rex losing sleep wondering if you were dead.”

“And you?”

He met her gaze. “I never stopped wondering what you were really doing. But I never stopped hoping you were doing it for the right reason.”

The torchlight caught on his eyes just enough to soften them.

“Careful,” she murmured. “You almost sound like you trust me.”

“I do,” he said. “Even if I probably shouldn’t.”

⸻

Not far from them, the Jedi weren’t sleeping.

Kenobi, as calm as ever, approached her while she stood alone again, watching the barn like it might vanish if she blinked.

“You went into hiding,” he said, voice too measured. “With a child who wasn’t yours. A senator’s child. A Force-sensitive one, no less.”

“Observation or accusation?”

“Depends. You were seen fleeing with him. And now, months later, we find you living off stolen land with the boy, no contact, no explanation.”

She sighed, long and deep. “Because I was saving his life. That was my mission.”

“Whose mission?”

“I didn’t elaborate for a reason, Kenobi. Don’t make me lie.”

He frowned at that. “You’re not helping your case.”

“Maybe I’m not trying to.”

⸻

Meanwhile, not far off—

Anakin and Ahsoka had discovered the ‘greenhouse’—a.k.a., the half-collapsed shed filled with wilting vegetable attempts.

“Are these… carrots?” Ahsoka squinted at a brown, shriveled root.

“Were. Once,” Anakin said, picking up a moldy tomato. “What the hell happened to this one?”

Ahsoka grinned. “I think it tried to escape.”

Anakin smirked. “Honestly, I’d defect too if I was grown here.”

She appeared behind them, arms crossed. “You’re real confident for people who crash-landed into my food supply.”

Ahsoka looked up. “So… you’re not a farmer.”

“No. I’m a bounty hunter playing house because I didn’t want to murder a Force-sensitive child in cold blood, thanks for asking.”

Anakin gave a long, low whistle. “And they say I’ve got issues.”

She pointed at the ruined row of vines. “You owe me one acre of semi-functional mushrooms. And emotional damages.”

⸻

The sun broke through a split in the clouds like it had something to prove, washing the battered farm in soft gold and cruel clarity. Smoke from the crashed pod still lingered in the air, and the smell of singed crops was stubborn in the soil.

She stood at the edge of the fields with a half-dead vine in her hands, debating whether it was salvageable—or symbolic. Maybe both.

Behind her, Jedi and troopers moved about quietly, still camped on her land, still breathing the air she thought she’d carved out for herself and the kid.

Kes.

He was chasing the loth-cat in bare feet, giggling in a way that made her chest ache.

They’d found her. It was only a matter of time before someone from the Republic came to drag her back—if not for punishment, then worse. Interrogation. Reassignment. Or orders she wouldn’t be able to stomach.

The choice sat in her throat like a loaded blaster.

⸻

Kenobi stood near the comms unit, silent and unreadable, arms behind his back as he stared at the console without activating it.

“General,” she said, stepping beside him.

“[Y/N],” he replied, still looking forward. The formality of it made her want to scoff.

“You haven’t reported in.”

“No.”

“You’re going to.”

“Eventually.”

She looked at him carefully, but he didn’t turn to meet her eyes.

“You’re not sure what’ll happen to him if you do.”

“I know exactly what will happen,” Kenobi said. “I just don’t know if I’m ready to watch it.”

They stood in silence.

“I’m not a mother,” she said finally. “Maker knows I shouldn’t be left alone with anything more delicate than a hydrospanner. But I didn’t kill him. I didn’t turn him over. I’ve just… kept him alive. And safe.”

“I believe you,” Kenobi said. “But safety is a fleeting thing. Especially for people like us.”

⸻

She found Cody near the barn, checking over his gear with robotic precision. The morning light caught the lines of strain on his face.

“You should tell me what you’re thinking,” she said.

He didn’t stop moving. “You wouldn’t like it.”

“Try me.”

“You should’ve told someone. Me. Rex. Anyone. We could’ve helped.”

“I didn’t know who to trust.”

He paused. That hurt more than he expected it to.

“So, what—now you run again?”

“I haven’t decided.”

Cody finally looked at her. His voice was lower now, rougher. “Decide soon. Because if they report in, it’s out of your hands.”

She didn’t say anything, just nodded—tight, unreadable. But his eyes lingered. Longer than they should’ve.

“You’re not the same person I met on Naboo,” he said.

“No,” she replied. “She died a while back. Somewhere between a swamp and a bunker.”

“You ever think about letting someone in? Just once?”

“Not when I know they’ll be ordered to kill me the next week.”

A flicker of emotion crossed Cody’s face—then it was gone. He turned back to his gear. And she walked away before he could say something dangerous.

⸻

Rex found her in the stable later that night, Kes fast asleep under a blanket of hay and wool.

“You’re not sleeping either,” she said, not turning around.

“Hard to sleep when you’ve got questions nobody wants to answer.”

She finally looked at him, candlelight dancing on her face. “What do you want to ask, Captain?”

Rex took a step closer. “Did you ever plan on coming back?”

“No.”

His jaw flexed. “So you just disappeared.”

“I didn’t vanish for fun, Rex. I vanished because I knew if I stayed, the Chancellor would use him. Or worse, I would.”

Rex crossed his arms. “You didn’t even say goodbye.”

She walked past him, grabbing her coat from the hook.

“Do you want an apology?” she asked. “Or do you want me to beg for forgiveness?”

“I want you to stop pretending like no one cared that you were gone.”

She froze at the door, hand on the frame.

“I did,” he said.

She turned, slowly. His eyes met hers, fierce and uncertain all at once.

And just like that, the moment stretched too long. Her heart beat too loud. And she left before she could make a mistake she wouldn’t recover from.

⸻

Back in the farmhouse, she lay awake, staring at the ceiling. The storm was coming. She could feel it.

She could run. Again. Before the Republic transport arrived. Take the kid. Disappear into the stars.

But something in her—something inconvenient and entirely unwelcome—whispered that maybe this time she didn’t want to run.

Because Rex was right.

People had cared.

And that might be exactly what would get them all killed.

⸻

The quiet didn’t last.

Republic gunships descended like thunder, cutting through the sky with precision and menace. The crops—already a failing attempt at survival—were flattened beneath the landing struts and wind gusts, scattering dry dirt and stalks in a final insult to their hard work.

She stood at the edge of the field, one hand resting on the blaster at her hip—not out of threat, but habit. The kid stood beside her, silent, clutching a small stuffed Tooka doll she’d stolen for him on Felucia.

Mace Windu stepped out first, Commander Ponds flanking him. His men spread quickly, securing the perimeter, scanning for hostiles, as if the decaying barn and wilted fields might house some final trap.

She stood her ground at the edge of the farm, arms crossed, expression unreadable.

“Commander,” Windu greeted, curt but not unkind.

“General,” she said, inclining her head.

His gaze drifted toward the child. Kes shrank under it, but didn’t hide.

“He’s the one,” Windu said.

She nodded.

He gave a sharp nod to Ponds, who gently approached the kid. The boy hesitated, looking up at her.

“You’re not coming?”

She crouched beside him, smoothing back his messy hair. “No, kid. You’re gonna be safe now. Better off than with me.”

He frowned, but nodded bravely. “Will I see you again?”

She smiled softly, then lied. “Of course.”

And just like that, he was gone—walking up the ramp of the LAAT, she watched as Ponds took his hand gently. swallowed by steel and war.

She watched until the doors shut.

⸻

She stood alone in the centre of the chamber, a bounty hunter dragged into the eye of the Republic’s storm. The Jedi Council surrounded her, their gazes varied: suspicion, curiosity, wariness.

No armor on her, no badge of rank. Just a worn jacket, dusty boots, and too many secrets stitched into the seams.

“State your name for the record,” Windu said, arms crossed.

She did. Short. Direct.

“How did you come to be in possession of a Force-sensitive child?” Obi-Wan asked.

“I took a job,” she replied. “Anonymous client. Kill the kid.”

That alone stirred tension across the room.

“But I didn’t. Didn’t feel right. So I took him and disappeared.”

“You did not attempt to turn him over to the Jedi?” Kit Fisto asked, skeptical.

“No. Didn’t trust you.”

Kit’s brows furrowed. “Yet you trust us now?”

She smiled. “No. But the boy deserves a chance. That’s all that matters.”

“Where did you hide him?” Ki-Adi-Mundi asked.

“Everywhere. Nowhere. Teth. Kashyyyk. Backwater farms and broken spaceports. We ran. That’s what I know how to do.”

“And why come forward now?” Aayla asked.

“I didn’t. You found me.” Her voice was flat, unapologetic.

Yoda leaned forward. “Friend of the Chancellor, you are.”

A beat.

“Used to be,” she answered. “Not anymore.”

That raised a few eyebrows.

“Then why protect him?” Mace asked, watching her closely. “Why not name the client who gave you the bounty?”

She shrugged. “Can’t name someone I never saw. Payment was clean, no trail. Maybe it was the Separatists. Maybe it wasn’t. Doesn’t matter. I made my choice.”

The room fell into heavy silence.

Finally, Obi-Wan spoke. “You did protect the child. You kept him safe. That much, we know.”

Kit Fisto still looked unconvinced. “But for how long? And for what purpose?”

She didn’t answer him. Just lifted her chin, held his gaze without flinching.

She stepped out of the chamber into cool marble silence. She let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding.

Rex was waiting near one of the columns. He looked tense. When their eyes met, his jaw shifted.

“How long were you planning to lie to everyone?” he asked quietly.

She smirked. “As long as I needed to.”

“You’re playing with fire,” he said.

“I always have been.”

⸻

The Senate dome was quiet at this hour, the corridors cleared of aides and the usual buzzing politics. The stillness of the Chancellor’s office wasn’t peace—it was a predator’s calm.

She stood before him again, cloaked not in command but consequence. The Jedi Temple’s marble silence was one thing—this room was another entirely.

“Disappearing,” Palpatine said, voice low, measured, dangerous. “For months.”

“I was following your orders,” she replied. “You told me to go underground.”

“I told you to go dark,” he said, rising slowly from his chair. “Not vanish off the map. Not ignore my transmissions. Not take my asset and play farm girl.”

Her jaw clenched. “I wasn’t playing anything.”

He stepped closer, expression unreadable in the shadows. “You were hiding. From me. From the Republic. From destiny.”

She didn’t flinch, but her fingers curled slightly at her side.

“You disobeyed a direct instruction,” he continued. “You didn’t kill the child.”

Her silence was answer enough.

Palpatine studied her, lips pressing together before curling into something oddly amused. “Good. That was… a miscalculation on my part.”

She blinked.

“I see that now,” he said, voice smoothing out. “Killing the boy would’ve been a waste. An unfortunate loss of potential. With him returned to Republic custody…” He trailed off, then turned to look out the large viewport behind his desk. “I can fold him back into the design.”

“You used me.”

“You let yourself be used,” he replied without looking at her. “Because you’re afraid not to. That’s what you told Master Windu, wasn’t it?”

Her heart thudded once, hard. “You’ve got ears in the Council chamber?”

“I have ears everywhere, my dear.” He finally turned back to her. “I made you what you are. You owe me.”

“I owe you nothing,” she snapped, stepping forward.

A pause.

His smile widened. “You do. But that’s alright. You’ve always walked the line between useful and… unruly. It’s part of your charm.”

She didn’t speak.

“I don’t care that the Jedi don’t trust you. I don’t care that you lie to them. I encourage it. But do not ever disappear on me again.”

“I needed to keep the boy safe.”

“And now I will keep him safe.” A hint of menace returned to his tone. “Where he belongs. Under my eye.”

He walked past her, slow and quiet, before adding over his shoulder, “And stop trying to seduce every clone commander in the Grand Army. It complicates things.”

She smirked, just a little. “Then maybe stop surrounding me with handsome men in armor.”

He chuckled darkly. “You always were dangerous.”

She turned for the door, but his voice stopped her.

“You made the right choice. But remember who you made it for.”

She walked out without answering.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

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popculturebuffet · 1 year ago

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Earth Day Special! (4-Episodes. Too Many To List, Comission for Weird Kev 27)

Happy Earth Day everyone! It's a day to reuse, renew and recycle, reflect on the gifts mother earth has given us and hope it dosen't die horribly from big corporations and general studidity bleeding it dry!

It's also a time to celebrate how cartoons tackle envornmentalism, as Kev, my sorta producer and the guy who pays for the bulk of my commissions each month, is an environmentalist, and thus thought it'd be fun to take a look at a few episodes that tackle a green message and see how they do.

Today we'll be looking at the Rocko's Modern Life Classic "Zanzibar" and three more recent examples; OK K.O. Let's Be Heroes "The Power is Yours", Big City Greens "Green Greens" and The Ghost and Molly McGee's carbon zeor heroes. So join me under the cut as we see how yesterday and today's toons try to teach kids what they can do to help the environment.

Zanzibar (Rocko's Modern LIfe)

We start with the oldest episode here, all the way back from 1996.

Zanzibar is a musical episode, a genre I can't belivie I HAVEN'T covered before but love dearly. Sure sometimes it can be done poorly, but when done right it's a thing of beauty and Zanzibar does it right.

A lot of that is in who wrote it: Dan Povmire and Jeff Swampy Marsh of Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy's Law Fame. This is where they got their start and you can tell it's them by the beautiful music and self aware tone. In a great joke everyone dancing and singing is explained by the fact they rehearesed every thursday, except Rocko who wasn't aware this was a thing and is deeply confused. The episode knows it's a musical and an environmental episode when the general strategy to writing one was POLUTION BAD. PEOPLE WHO POLUTE ARE GROTESQUE CORPRATE MONSTERS WHO POLUTE BECAUSE IT'S FUN OR SEXY TIM CURRY POLUTION. We all know grotesque corporate monsters pollute because it's cost effective.

Instead, Zanzibar is pretty blunt about where the issues come from: When Rocko arrives to a full dump after the catchy opening tune, Ed's solution is that "There's plenty of room over there".. in a park. Ed represents callous assholes who dump garbage everywhere, but in a realistic sense: some assholes really are that callous about the environment or act like damaging it dosen't matter. Ed even sings a whole song about how birds and fish are "brainnnnlesss pinheads", which is both beautiful to hear and also gloriously obnoxious.

Thankfully our heroes instead listen to Captain Compost Heap, a wonderfullyd eisgned pile of compost that sings the spelling song, the signature piece of this episode and the one that has been grafted to my head since watching. IT's catchy has hell.. and that's by design as it teaches HOW to help the environment in a way kids could feasably try while getting stuck in their head so the lesson sticks. It teaches the steps: recycle trash to reuse it, conserve power, and don't you P-O-L-L-U-T-E the rivers sky and sea or else your gonna get what you deserve. Simple but effective and it even talks about ozone depletion in detail, one of the best examples i've seen of that, only topped by Futurama's Crimes of the Hot later. Gotta remember that one and a big piece of garbage for next year.

OUr heroes DO mak ea change and help the dump reduce... but it also shows there's limits to what we CAN do as CCH points out the biggest polluter, Conglom-O the souless corporation that owns most of the city and city hall... to the point the crowd that's gathered decides to give up and sing about how you can't fight city hall. What's neat though is that Rocko.. dosen't and decides you can at least TRY to hold corporations accountable. Granted Rocko has a big unruly mob on his side but still.

Granted the episode does make the issue of holding them acountable easy as all it hilarously takes is Rocko barging in, adresssing the board, and then his big unruly mob singing a song to convince them "sure why not". IN real life.. they usually won't or may SAY they will but not actually do shit, and if they do do things it'll be in a performative measure. But I get this is a 90's era cartoon aimed at children, if fun for all, and thus can only do so much.

It DOES however work around this with catharsis: ed's in charge of it and thus gets the thankless job of undoing all Conglomo's shit which at least shows how big corprate greedheads really don't have to put any work into actually fixing their act and foster it on someone else. it's just in this case the someone else is a callous asshole incapable of learning a lesson, so it works out. And all Ed leanrs.. is to be pissed Rocko gave him extra work, and thus is smited by the ozone layer for his insolence. A bit broad? Sure but it works well for it's time and even now holds up really well, being a funny, sharply written episode that knows what it is and what it's limitations are and thus just has fun with it.

The Power is Yours (OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes!)

OK KO is already pretty damn insane and it's great for that. It mixes subtle character development episodes, well done story arcs and a fun world with just about every genre of protagnist stuffed in and juiced up on energy drinks with wacky nonsense episodes.

This is one of those as well as one of OK KO's crossover episodes. While OK KO would do a proper big ole crossover with conteperary shows with Crossover Nexus, most of the time Ian instead focused on older properties. It's why the Grimwood Girls made their triumphant comeback here, why the Sonic crossover had a LOT of adventures of sonic the hedgehog homages, and why for it's first crossover... they choose captain planet.

Keep in mind Captain Planet, while aired on CN and grandfathered in as something owned by Time Warner Bros Discovery, originally aired on TBS and long predated the network. Of all the many great shows Cartoon Network had aired, it was a very left of field choice.

But it's one that clearly ian sincerly backed and rightfully so. The Power is Yours shows a love for Captain Planet while also lampooning the hell out of how over the top it is, which Given OK KO is already over the top in it's world, fits perfectly.

Here Lord Boxman, our resident baddy, gets help from evil efficency effort and former Captain Planet Villian Dr. Blight. He finds her sexay, so he gladly endugles her when she claims poluting and destroying the planet will somehow equal profit, a nice take on how most captain planet villians were greedy buisness types.. yet engaged in stuff that vastly outstripped the profit they'd actually get. There's a reason Captain Planet Villian is now short hand.

As a result the ice caps melt flooding the plaza, smog encroaches.. but only our lead KO gives a fuck. Rad is of course oblivoius and self intrested and Enid dosne't care a lot this early in the series.

Thankfully KO get shelp from Kwame, leader of the planateers played by returning acting icon Lavar Burton, who does a wonderful job. He gives each of the cast a ring.. including A Real Magical Skeleton and his buddy brandon, who have to share the wind ring.

Captain Planet is able to turn the tide and the animators.. just have fun with the series cartoony nature, having Captian Planet do the goddamn certified Jojo pose, complete with araki style art shift, above, suck up all the polution like a ballon and generally get to do looney tunes stuff.

As is standard procedure if I remmeber right, Captain Planet gets struck down and as is standard procedure fo rour heroes, Rad and Enid bicker and it takes KO using the power of HEART to get them to care about the environment which powers up CP enough to save the day.

The plot's simple.. btu what makes it work is how tounge in cheek it is: this is captain planet taken to it's most rediculous extreme and it works. The only thing missing is ted turner murdering people to really fit. And the ending.. improves on the source with Captain Planet pointing out what they've done.. really dosen't GUARANTEE the world is okay. We have to take systemic, group action to really make a change and not let the planet fall into a firey hell pit and while doing what you can is good, if exagerated for parody's sake here, climate change is something that's not easily fixed nor going away. It's a lesson we all need to learn and one well taught, mixnig the over the top parody and moralizing.. with a real message that lands because it's so seprated from what came before without feeling jarring. Captain Planet calmly telling a small child that it's not that easy.. works. The power is this episodes and the onlyt hing it was missing was a ted turner rampage.

Green Greens (Big City Greens)

Green Greens follows our favorite family as they try to clean up their own environment.. and also showcases how while Recycling IS a good thing, sometimes doing so can be a trial.

The ep kicks off with Bill finding out his garden is rotting. Naturally like 80% of his problems, it's cricke'ts fault, who has created a trash hole in the garden not getting that their crops are you know.. how they pay for food and stuff. As usual it dosen't sink in, not helped by the revelation Gramma has been aiding and abetting this nightmare. Tilly didn't know because "We knew you would snitch sweety" and I assume Gloria, their live in 20 something the family basically adopted in all but paper, didn't either.

Bill plans to clean all this up but runs into a problem thanks to said gloria; A flourcesnt bulb is among the trash and if not disposed properly it can leak into the enviroment, something I honestly forgot and is good to know. Wanting to both prove a point and not kill their yard worse than his son already has, Bill agrees to Gloria's suggestion to take it to an e-waste center. Gloria will drive and Tilly will tag along because she's a pure ray of sunshine while Cricket and Gramma will clean up the consequences of their actions.. which admitely isn't the biggest punishment as Cricket mocks bill about how he gets to play in the trash... though Gloria calling hi ma little racoon is adorable. She's a good big sister.

Gloria DOES have her limits though as our heroes end up in a traffic jam, and Gloria has big plans for tonight

Okay she just dosen't want to spend her saturday in traffic when her surrogate dad and sister can just take the train so their left on their own. What follows is an epic quest, as our heroes have trouble finding the chartruse line.. a gag I really like as Bill wonders if tha'ts even a color. They find help with an activist who is suprised anyone is actually doing something as fortold in the prophecy and guides them to their destination: beyond the bridge of woe to the e-waste center, it's frought with peril. Bill has an understandable question

And there's no real answer but I get their point: sometimes city planning makes it hard to .. you know actually recycle. not everywhere collects recycling. I know my town dosen't. And while Big City DOES, it's e-waste center is on the other side of town, in the shady and smog filled industrial district. It's not making it easy to do the right thing and it shoudn't be this hard to properly dispose of a lightbulb.

Our heroes treck through urban mordor.. and fine their on the wrong side. Bill does the understandable thing and goes laughing mad, scaring away some toughs and planning to just chuck it. TIllyt alks him down pointing out sometimes doing the right thing is hard.. but you should still do it.. even if it means crossing an industrial waste. And the thing is getting the bulb there for the one day a week, if that, it can be recycled... dosen't really fill them with any satisfaction.

What does that and gives them closure with their quest.. is the b plot> Cricket and Gramma are naturally hot mess. They do clean out the trash hole.. but now have a full trash can and a GARBAGE MOUNTAIN to deal with. Cricket does what I usually doa nd jsut stuffs it all in.. and it predictably backfires, spilling out all over.

They go with plan b: just stuff it in the neighbors dumpster.. and said neighbor says i'ts not very chill so they back off.. but does provide a solution. Recycling! The episode shows how recyling trash.. helps reduce it to a managable level, helping break down the issue of "well it makes it harder to have to sort the trash. it does.. at first.. but doing so helps reduce their trash. It honestly makes me want to try recycling simply because it seems like it'd help my room not be the wasteland it is.

It also delivers the episodes aseop: doing your part for the envorment is hard and often thankless.. but just doing your little bit with worth it. Just doing that much has already restored the soil around the crops.. and that's enough to make bill and tilly feel like their journey was worth it. And Gloria. she helped too. Probably.

Carbon Zero Heroes (The Ghost and Molly McGee)

Our final stop for this special, as we look in on the recently departed the Ghost and Molly McGee. Fun fact this is the first episode from season 2 i've seen.

This episode is also my first exposure to Ollie. He's our protaganist Mollie's boyfriend and thus to the shippers

That's somehow not an exageration either: See in season one Molly was heavily shipped with her closest friend Libby and her nemises turned friend Andrea, the former because they have adorable chemistry and compliment each other and the latter for both some of those reasons and because Disney shippers really love enemies to lovers. Given I ship both Sashanne and Lumity, I sympathize. So introducing a canon love intrest whose not either of them was always going to be a struggle. I'm a shipper myself, I get it. Sometimes it's hard. I mean i've been trying to ship this dog for several days

But i'm still not sure exactly who. It's a hard buisness and sometims you can go years without finding a character to pair with a character. Especially when ti's a cartoon british dog who already has a LOT of shit to put up with and thus needs someone SOMEWHAT stable. and also like 30's ish. What i'm saying is shipping wendy is harder than I expected and I get canon sometimes sucks.

I won't however bash Ollie for that as he was already being created byt he time season 1 aired, and thus the staff really didn't have time to pivot with the tides. At worst he's kinda bland as in at least this episode he's really just.. molly but a dude. That's it. Their adorable.. but unlike Libby or Andrea he dosen't really play off of her in an intresting way. his voice actor, who also has the voice of an angel in the musical number for this episode, feels he boosts her up, which fits.. but I still get that it's just not as intresting as Molly helping Libby with her shyness and Libby consequently help;ing Molly take about 10% off or Andrea's cool demeanor and slow reform contrasting Molly just going for it. It's not that Olly is TERRIBLE, he's just nojt AS good as the ships the fans had built up by the time he popped into the world.

So where were we.. ah yes. Someone help me ship this dog. She does pilates, can deadlift a grown dog man, and is the loving mother of one. She'as also easily startled but given her neighbor once slapped his ass in front of her as part of a game with his daughter and got shoved down the stairs for the same reasons while treating it as if it wasn't a big deal, you can see why maybe I want her to be happy

And oh yes the episode. Okay so our episode is kicked off by a lecture on how if we dont' fix climate change

And leaves the children all scared. Scratch, our ghost and Mollys ghost BFF, figures it's humanity's problem as he's dead. He dosen't have to deal with this and he certainly doesn't have a human body he forgot about. Nope not him.

Molly, being a go getter naturally dosen't take this lying down and wants to do something while Libby.. feels we're all fucked and there's ntohing we can do and has prepared a bunker. I was not expecting this to have a LIbby subplot about her survivial bunker for the inevitable fall of mankind, but here we are and it is glorious.

Ollie however agrees with Molly that they can do something so in classic kids tv fashoin tehy start recycling, pick up garbage, do all the carbon zero footprint stuff all to a catchy well done song.. and costume changes. I did say they were adorable, I prefer molibby but they aren't bad.

The episode also does something few kids shows have done, and something I like: While Big City Greens talked about taking small steps, Rocko foreshadowed what a bit task it was and OK KO showed whatever steps you tak earen't enough alone, TGAMM shows just HOW MUCH it'd take to actually leave a zero footprint. Our heroes bike everywhere, can't watch anything, can't have pizza, eat turnips they grew but can't cook them because gas (even though fire is an option. Whose for fire?), keep bugs off said turnips, miss a birthday party and are generally utterly miserable.. and it only improves the earth by .00000000003%. The hard truth is doing NO harm to the envronment in a world set up that way... is simply impossible without radical life changes two 13 year olds simply aren't capable of. They can't buy a farm or have the money to grow crops and can't bike up hills reliably. As a wise 10 year old once said

It's a hard truth.. but one kids NEED to hear. You can't do everything yourself, the world is hard to change and you shouldn't kill yoruself doing so. It dosent mean having a trash hole or nothing matters it just means saving the earth isn't something you can do by yourself.

While our heroes were hitting rock bottom we get that bunker subplot, which is the best part of the episode. Granted I already liked libby a lot as a character but given her sometimes depressed nature, it fits perfectly that she simply decided instead of trying to change thigns to prepare to the end, and seeing the normally shy libby show off her zombie bunker is great. She even gladly invites Scratch. What's a bunker without friends. This plot is here for two reasons. the first is it's hilarious and provides a nice contrast from how.. rough the a plot can get as while there are some funny bits it's rough watching two well meaning 13 year olds nearly drive themselves nuts trying to fix climate change.

So instead we get another tween whose happily set up a zombie survivial bunker and counters Scratch's "those don't exist" with "People dont think ghosts are real either". Touche. She also has a blanket with spikes and a bed with spikes. Lots of spikes, canned goods and posters to prepare for the zombei apocalypse or any old apocalypse.

The other reason besides being objectively hilarious is it shows the other extreme: giving up, accepting the world will go to shit and errupt in fire and being prepared to live in a horrifying post apocalypse. And that itself.. isn't healthy. I mean having a bunker shockingly is as having somewhere safe and secure planned in case shit goes down, especially when your best friend has recently dealt with super ghosts, isn't that unresonable especially in these times. I can see why Libby's mom lets her keep it. They MIGHT need it.

The problem is just.. giving up: accepting the world will end instead of at least trying.

It's worth it to just.. try to make the world more sustainable. We can't probably entirely FIX climate change, but we can at least try. It's the lesson throughout all these episodes: climate change dosen't have an easy answer, but you can't give up.

So Molly and Ollie do.. but scratch encourages them.... ti's mostly to save ice cream as he realizes apocalypse food sucks, but it ends up being a good metaphor: that alone we can't save ice cream, but together we can. That community action.. is really what's needed> it might not fix EVERYTHING.. but we can at least try.

So Molly goes to town hall... which isn't as over the top as it might sound because she's tight with the mayor and has done a lot of community improvment. Of course their going to listen to her and her boyfriend and her future girlfirend and her army of racoons. She's earned it.

So Molly simply pitches a green intivaitve for the town which mayor patton oswalt naturally agrees to because he's a good dude and again, Molly has done a LOT for this town. He tried to make her mayor once. Simply doing their part, picking up trash, upping recycling, and setting up windmills... it'll only help them get carbon neutral by a decade from now.. but it's something, and shows you can acomplsih something by just trying. Also Scratch has become jabba the hutt from a lot of ice cream.

So that ends this retrospective and I gotta say.. not a bad episode in the bunch. All teach their lesson well without being patronizing or ignoring how hard going green CAN be. It was a great crop so this earth day, save a tree, try to recycle.. just do what you can. Do all you can do and it'll make the world just a little better.. and maybe tell a billionare to fuck off. I'm writing this in advance but Elon Musk will probably have done something that day. So thanks for reading and happy earth day.

#earth day #rocko's modern life #ok ko #ok ko let's be heroes #captain planet #big city greens #the ghost and molly mcgee

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shootertron-stuff · 2 years ago

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Thoughts about my Imperial Fist OC and how I envision the moon Europa in 40k

Clothilde Nazari is my Imperial Fist OC who I made for the explicit purposes of writing about pregnant Space Marines dark romance shifter alphahole T4T polygamy kidfic. They were born on the ocean moon of Europa. These are my thoughts about Europa in 40k as they relate to Clothilde's life story.

Trigger warning for thalassophobia, drowning, torture, gruesome death, capital punishment, noncon, forced pregnancy, victim blaming, birth name used

It's a challenging place to live. Most of the population lives in hive cities where the majority is under water or ice. These astounding cities use technology that to us in the 21st century would be far beyond our current capabilities, in order to keep afloat and withstand the stressors of the harsh environment, whether it's pressure or corrosion from the salty water, or freezing temperatures.

(Not sure if all the ice got melted/water got siphoned in the Dark Age of Technology. It would certainly make underwater cities less challenging to build if the water level was dropped.)

An underwater hive city needs constant maintenance or the pressure at depth, even though Europa's bottom water pressure is lower than Terra's, a leak in the lower hull will turn into an implosion, putting the entire structure at risk.

Clothilde was born in Foram Hive City. This ancient and terrifying structure stretches all the way down miles and miles of Europa's ocean and may have been built by xenos when they ruled over the Jupiter sub-system.

(I currently have no idea if it floats or has its lowermost levels all the way at the bottom of the ocean.)

(I suppose with the first option, Foram has futuristic fail-safes so that if the lower levels fail, the mid and upper levels containing its wealthier citizens are safe while the sections of the hive city that became compromised are ejected to fall onto the sea floor.)

(With the second option, Foram has a system where different levels would have pressure seals that close off the upper layers if there's a leak in the lower ones. But good luck if the bottom collapses and the whole upper section of the Hive tips over.)

Clothilde was abandoned as a baby and left on a compost heap. They were taken in by an underhive gang lord with 7 wives. The lower levels were their home.

Clothilde wanted to be an underwater welder that worked to patch up Foram's hull when they were little, before the Imperial Fists abducted recruited them.

Perhaps Clothilde learned about people on the lower levels who died after hull failures in their part of the city, or a neighboring hive. And if they were underhivers the people in charge would do very little about it.

So from an early age they had a desire to help people. But it's tough for an underhiver to rise to the top, with no legal documents and no sponsor.

The gang lord who Clothilde lodged with was possibly a sea captain who ran from the law when he abandoned ship after it sank and took a number of passengers who were not able to evacuate.

"Mr. Kwok" gave his last name to a number of orphans under his employ, including this very "Urch Kwok".

(Perhaps Mr. Kwok's wives were all deserters of a sort, too.)

Mr. Kwok had a collection of treasures that included a styrofoam cup that had gone to the bottom of the ocean and become shrunken from the pressure. This was how he demonstrated to Urch a grisly execution method used on Europa.

The deep depth of hive cities necessitates the use of sea elevators to move supplies so workers can maintain the outer hull and any communications and power equipment down there. These elevators are repurposed for the deceptively-named practice of "Dunk Tanks".

On Europa, like many Imperial worlds, the people clamor for the most horrible executions imaginable if you're perceived to be responsible for mass death. A "Dunk Tank" is merely a metal box, welded shut and shaped so it is pressure-tight to a certain water depth. Prisoners are sealed inside the Dunk Tank and lowered down by the elevator, and sink until the pressure crumples the box and the prisoners are killed by the implosion. Or do they run out of air or freeze to death before they reach the bottom? The process could take hours, or even days, depending on the speed of the sea elevator, the amount of insulation in the Dunk Tank, and the particular model of Dunk Tank in question.

Yes, there was a company that specialized in the manufacture of different Dunk Tanks, customized to specification. Dunk Tanks, being one-use only, needed to be replaced each time you had an execution.

Did you prefer your prisoners to die when the water pressure finally crumpled up the container like a soda can? Did you want a container that could seemingly hold its shape when it reached the bottom, only to slowly and inevitably crumple while the prisoners waited in terror in the darkness? Do you want a container that will hold its shape, so that your prisoners die slowly and painfully in the dark?

Will you drop the container rather than lower it slowly, so that the prisoners scream and cry as they fall with the world's gravity? With the depth of Europa's oceans, even where its lowest, the drop would still take hours.

Will you need straps to tie the prisoners down, or will you deny them any sort of seat or handhold, so that they sway and slide as the tank moves around in the water? So that they claw at each other, trying to kill the others in hopes of saving precious remaining oxygen? So they bang on the walls in futile hopes of mercy?

Would you like to add a microphone apparatus, or even a videofeed, so that the screaming and crying of the panicking prisoners could be broadcast and enjoyed by an audience of millions?

Or will the bloodthirsty masses be content to watch the box slide down into the water from a window in the upper and middle levels? Content to read reports from planetary navy forces of the telltale sound of the Dunk Tank's destruction? To see photos of the box's debris taken by an ROV?

This, Mr. Kwok explained, was what was going to happen to him if the authorities caught him alive.

What could Mr. Kwok have done to merit such a punishment? Mr. Kwok's ship must have been a cruise ship with thousands on board. Or just a few dozen highborn, or even just one death, if the individual was rich and powerful enough.

Since fleeing to the lower levels, Mr. Kwok has only fallen lower. Since he was doomed for abandoning his ship, with no hope of redemption, why not abandon his morals and become a violent gang leader to survive?

Mr. Kwok died of gunshot wounds, killed with all his wives, in a final standoff with Arbites and upper hiver thrillseekers during a centennial sweep of the Underhive. This was the day Urch was taken by the Imperial Fists.

Later Clothilde was told that since Mr. Kwok had killed people and ran from justice, as well as falling into the violent lifestyle of a ganger, he "deserved" to die.

Clothilde is married to a Black Legionnaire known as the Nametaker or the Hellhound who kidnapped them on the battlefield. The two have many children together.

Clothilde started having nightmares about the ocean after being captured. In these nightmares their battle brothers find them guilty of treason, of aiding the Black Legion. The Imperial Fists don't accept the explanation of "I was kidnapped and raped", pointing out Clothilde should have committed suicide years ago to avoid bringing new Chaos Marines into existence, or obviously enjoys getting fucked by the Black Legionnaire too much to do the right thing.

If Clothilde had just been a mindbroken sex slave they would have been mercifully "euthanized" for Chaos corruption.

But since they raised the Nametaker's children, they are responsible for the deaths of billions. The traitor's death count includes every Imperial citizen their sons killed.

For this, "The firing squad is too good for you".

During one of their escape attempts, Clothilde falls into a water reservoir and panics because they can't get out. They are terrified of drowning. The Nametaker jumps in after them, asking if they really wanted to die.

The punishment is the same one Mr. Kwok fought like hell to escape. Being locked in a welded shut box and slowly lowered down or being thrown into the water and being their own cinderblocks. Space Marines don't float.

When Clothilde wakes up screaming, the Nametaker tries to make his wife feel less afraid, asserting that nobody is going to go looking in the Screaming Vortex.

He knows they're scared of the water now, more than they ever did with their chapter.

They have lived years feeling like a fugitive hiding from the law...

#warhammer 40k #taming hellhounds #chaos space marines #black legion #imperial fists #female space marines #farhad osrid nazari #clothilde nazari

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arhvste · 4 years ago

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❝ haikyuu boys reacting to getting headlice ❞

an - i couldnt possibly tell you where the motivation to write this came from but here you go

HINATA SHOUYO

-> he doesn’t care. they’re little bugs living rent free in his head? who is he to kick them off his head when they’ve probably settled, made a nice home and got a growing family started? considerate king but disgusting

KAGEYAMA TOBIO

-> disgusted. but also thinks just a few rinses of water will do the trick. he doesn’t understand he’s actually got to get in there and pull them out. miwa is horrified walking into the bathroom to see tobio leaned over the bath with a tub full of cold water he’s ultimately wasted. he’s lucky miwa knows what she’s doing

TSUKISHIMA KEI

-> no mercy. rips the little mfs off his head like nobodies business. his brother can only stare in awe and disturbance. kei isn’t scared over a few bugs they’re only a minor annoyance. he won’t tell a soul he had headlice though and if anyone were to snitch on him, he’d probably shake a few off his head and onto yours.

YAMAGUCHI TADASHI

-> stressed. his hairs kinda long so they’re a pain the ass to get out some may think he’d be a little hesistant to tackle them alone but yams has several lice killing lotions in his bathroom ready to use. he is sympathetic but no way is he letting little bugs crawl around his head while he’s around tsukki

TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE

-> the bugs don’t even get to step on this kings prestine head,, next caller !!

NISHINOYA YUU

-> merciless. who tf do these bugs think they are stepping onto his territory? feral. probably put a few in a jar after pulling them out to bark at them and show them that they’ve crossed the line stepping onto his head

ASAHI AZUMANE

-> have sympathy for the guy they’re gonna be a nightmare for him. more upset than anything. now he’s being reduced to being ridiculed by tiny ass bugs too? give the guy a break. gets them out within the first day because he’s not going to suffer longer than he has to and continues doing the treatment for the rest of the week even though they’re certainly long gone

SUGAWARA KOUSHI

-> brutal. like tsukki he’s got no shame in just ripping them out. suga is the type of guy to catch spiders and gently let them out the window and not kill them. lice don’t get that treatment from him. will straight up throw them down the drain and smirk in the process

DAICHI SAWAMURA

-> just another minor occurrence for him. he’s got short hair it’s no biggie. will probably get his mother to help just to make sure he does it right but overall he’ll get rid of them effectively and quickly you wouldn’t even be able to tell he had them in the first place

KINDAICHI YUUTAROU

-> good. he deserves them. maybe this will teach him to get a good haircut. at least the lice like your cut g

KUNIMI AKIRA

-> tortures them after. probably wets a paper towel to keep them stuck to and jabs at them with a thin needle after he’s got them out. sadist little bitch probably has a deadpan expression while doing it too. the lice fear him across the country and avoid him from now on

KYOTANI KENTARO

-> again he’s got short hair so they’re not too big of a pain to get out but why the hell did they have to pick his head? probably picks them out and just throws them wherever he has no regard for where they land and who might catch them from him

HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO

-> little bugs are just chilling no biggie. probably tells the team he’s got them and shakes his head near them to piss them off. oikawa keeps his distance approximately 5 metres and refuses to be included in any rotation makki is in during practice. even after he gets rid of them he doesn’t tell the team and continues shaking his head near them just to ‘keep them on their toes’

MATSUKAWA ISSEI

-> won’t tell anyone other than makki. the two probably pick them out and throw them in oikawas direction leaving their captain confused as to why the hell the two of them keep throwing ‘nothing’ at him. probably gets rid of them within a week and sleeps with a shower cap on so they don’t touch his pillow, that’s his only rule while they spend their vacation on his head

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

-> isn’t scared of no bugs. probably would keep one and press it down just to stick in his childhood bug diary and sneers at how inferior the lice is compared to the other cooler bugs he’d caught before. his hairs short so again it’s not a huge issue for him. he’ll get rid of them quickly and effectively without too much hassle

OIKAWA TOORU

-> screams. begs iwa to take them out for him insisting that it’s his hobby but iwa rejects and leaves oikawa to handle it alone. oikawas sister dips as soon as she finds out and oikawa believes this is the end of his life. after a week of moping and being a brat, iwa gives in and sorts it out for him to finally give him a peace of mind.

LEV HAIBA

-> never had lice before and is genuinely interested rather than concerned. where did the little bugs come from? why do they like his hair so much? is he the chosen one? probably let’s them live on his head for a while until they become infuriatingly itchy and yaku finds out he’s been letting a cult of lice live on his head and forces him to get treatment

KOZUME KENMA

-> thinks bleach with solve it. everyone who hates kenma’s dark roots better be ready for them to go because he will just bleach the shit out of his hair and assume it’s killed them all. for the next few months his hairs gonna be nice but he’ll let his roots grow out again and you’ll secretly hope for him to catch lice again just so he’ll touch up his damn roots again

TAKETORA YAMAMOTO

-> it’s the blonde mohawk that’s the issue. why tf did he have to make his hair to awkward to work with. doesn’t take him long to get out but he probably picks them out walking home from practice or school and just chucks them in bushes or drains he walks past

MORISUKE YAKU

-> you really think he’s about to let some stupid bugs live on his head and not pay rent? absolutely not. has several different brands of lice treatment lotion and uses at least 4 in one go. that amount of chemicals probably isn’t good for you in one go but his only goal is to kill the lice which he achieves. these bugs are mercilessly killed, revived and killed again all in one treatment session

KUROO TETSURŌ

-> this hurt to write knows exactly how to kill them and won’t hesitate in doing so. by that i mean he’s going straight to his grandmother to do it for him because as much as he knows about treatment and such, nobody does anything better than his grandmother and he’ll sit in a chair with a towel around his neck chattering on about his day as his poor grandmother slaves over his head ripping out the stupid bugs from his inconviently styled hair. kuroo’s lucky his grandmother knows he’s her boy

AKAASHI KEIJI

-> bless his soul he’s horrified. disgusting little creatures, believes they’re vermin of the world. mutters in disgust at them as he watches them drown in the pool of water in his bathtub sink eventually sending them down the drain where he hopes they suffer a painful afterlife

KONOHA AKINORI

-> he’s grossed out but doesn’t make a huge deal about it. probably violates himself and gives himself the nickname ‘nitty nori the bug explorer’. he can take a joke and get rid of them in the same week. ugh king shit

BOKUTO KOUTARŌ

-> pain in the ass. he’s excited about these bugs but also worried? do they want to suck his blood? will they crawl into his ears at night? his sisters are the ones responsible with dealing with them and the whole time he’s asking a abundance of random questions regarding the lice and why they chose his head to make their residence

TENDŌ SATORI

-> probably sings at them to make them uncomfortable as he pulls them out. his fingers work magic as he flawlessly picks them out and sends them on their way down to the depths of the drain. the last thing these bugs hear is the terrifying voice of the man who mercilessly sent them to their death beds

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI

-> his hairs short it’s okay it’s not the end of the world but rather than killing them he believes they have more use to them. he’s going to throw them in this soil in the garden and assume they work the same miracles worms do. he’ll be disappointed to know that they had no effect on his soil and he wasted his damn time making sure to evenly spread them out of the compost heap

MIYA OSAMU

-> will eat with a hat on. if these bugs are gonna live on his head no way is he sharing his food too. they’ve already taken enough from him. atsumu probably bullies him for his lice but freaks out when osamu tells him that because they’re twins, the lice will seek out his head too and they’ll both be infected. he only survives the short period of time with his lice because of the amusement he gets from watching atsumu consciously stay away from him even to the point where atsumu moves onto the couch. maybe he should let the lice vacate a little longer next time

MIYA ATSUMU

-> hates them. calls them every name under the sun but doesn’t actually effectively try to get rid of them. he doesn’t actually know how to get rid of them but is too embarrassed to admit it so he just lives with it. luckily, the lice decided to move in a few days before his hair was due for a touch up so like kenma, he just bleached the shit out of them and it seems to do the trick. it would be concerning had his hair not needed a touch up though who knows how long he would’ve had them.

SUNA RINTARŌ

-> his little sister notices his hand scratching his head constantly and begins to refer to suna as ‘nit boy’ and only ‘nit boy’. he doesn’t really care at first because surely a single shower will do the trick but his sisters provoking gets so annoying he just ends up treating them 7 times over but not before threatening to leave a few dead ones on his sisters pillow if she doesn’t stop calling him names

ARAN OJIRO

-> again, the lice don’t even get to step on his head. they see aran and they respect him. he seems like a nice and reliable guy so why would they go to the efforts of bothering him? probably nod their tiny ass antennas from atsumu’s hair and let aran go about his day in peace

KITA SHINSUKE

-> lice simply don’t exist in kita’s presence. the second a lice stepped foot on kita’s head, he senses it and ripped the mf off before it could even find a nice area to settle. lice keep away from kita at all times and never intend on crossing paths with him

KIYOOMI SAKUSA

-> an indescribable level of disgusted. refuses to accept it at first, insists that lice simply wouldn’t have been able to touch his head but alas he is wrong. tempted to shave his hair off but then again why should he have to suffer just because some stupid bugs said so. has no mercy, will treat his hair every day for the next month and a half and cusses the bugs out as they fall down the drain

general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @tsumue @peteunderoos @tsukkisbean @saturnfarie @dear-kozume @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei @dai-tsukki-desu @angrylittleriri @tsukkaria @kuxredere @warakou @mattsuny @lovinnoya @sophiashortcake @wompwomphq @waitforitillwritemywayout

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

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sightless-raiton · 4 years ago

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Player Reactions

So. My party are going back through notes from when the adventure started, and we get to the first NPCs we met. This is Kingmaker. So Paizo. So ohMAN the character art. And my player’s reactions when I show them images... Oleg, the tradepost owner:

“This man looks like Wolverine after a bad bender.” “He wants everyone to see that his chin is 3′‘ wide.” “It’s like he glued two 9-volt batteries together.” “Why does he have pointed ears??” “His mouth looks like a Disney Movie turtle’s.” “This man was drawn by someone who learned art from comic books.”

Now Svetlana, Oleg’s wife:

“He’s not even the HERO.” “Those are some SERIOUS dsl” “Her husband’s chin is wider than her whole head.” “She has more lips than he had ever dreamed a person could have.” “That’s a mimic, her face is unnaturally shaped. Seriously, she has no cheekbones.” “Her neck is as wide as her head. She looks like a football on a post.” “She’s got a lot of botox in that bottom lip. Her jaw probably unhinges.” “She looks like Wal-Mart brand doting wife.” “I wanna say more about her, but she just looks so BORING. This is a zero effort drawing.” “Maybe she swallowed a bee.”

Kesten, the captain of the guard:

“Your helmet is TOO TIGHT friend.” “Does his expression look like a man who was forced to take a dump in his armor and doesn’t want anyone to know? I think it does.” “He’s definitely mourning something. Maybe it’s his humanity? It just exited out the back door ‘goodbye my friends, this is it’.“ “He’s like the second half of a reaction image for when you step in a puddle and get your socks wet.” “That wasn’t a puddle.” “He’s watching his best friend spill a drink on somebody. He’s regretting his life and his choices. He hasn’t decided yet if he’s going to deny knowing that person. And he has resigned himself to another hour of this chafing.” “Under the visor, no one can see him cry.”

Finally Bokken, the crazy old hermit and potion maker:

“He looks dead.” “He’s halfway to the paralyzed horse from Bravest Warriors.” “Why is half of his beard styled and his hair parted? This is a man dressed like this so no one bothers him in public.” “Are those flies?” “He has to work really hard to keep those flies with the compost heap right nearby. Maybe he rubs himself down with animal musk?” “Those are the contacts they give people who play monsters on Buffy.” “This whole time I’ve been looking at his nose trying to think of something to say. But there’s nothing. It sure is something.” “This is an elf who just escaped twelve years in the underdark.” “This person draws noses like someone who does furry art.” “Do they know, that if they draw his neck perfectly smooth, one line straight, that they can’t just simulate an adam’s apple by drawing a semi-circle?” “No, that’s where the zombie bit him.” “OH, you’re right.” “His whole mouth looks separate from his beard, like it’s just flying by.” “That’s not a mimic and I don’t want to know what it is.” “This is a man who has seen god and discovered that he is edible.”

#Shit my players say #Pathfinder Adventure Path art #Kingmaker Adventure Path #mocking art #tw: feces mention

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kandenrose · 6 years ago

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I got to meet some old friends today...

Today was my sister’s birthday and we got to celebrate by getting reacquainted with a piece of our childhood.

Rocco’s Modern Life: Static Cling was absolutely perfect. It kept the witty, bold, and satirical humor the old show had and gave it an important lesson that both the grown fans who know it well and the new generation that’ll be introduced by their 90′s parents can take to heart.

The most amazing part was immediately recognizing all the characters I hadn’t seen in years. Even right from the start (RIP Captain Compost Heap) I was grinning ear to ear.

But there was one familiar face that really warmed my heart.

I couldn’t be more proud of and happy for Rachel Bighead. Just seeing how relaxed and happy she was after finding herself immediately sold me on the message that change is a good thing, no matter how drastic it can be. As Ralph, the character spoke to me as a creative growing up in an overbearing household. It took a while for young me to connect the dots that Meet the Fatheads was Ralph’s way of venting his frustrations with the negativity he saw in his parents, which made his struggle make a lot more sense.

He made it, he followed his dreams and made it big doing what he loved, even having his own studio, but he was still miserable, because it all came from a negative place. Ralph never wanted the big job with all the praise and weight of responsibility, he just wanted to find his own way and have his parents accept him. However, no matter what, Ralph was still heading in the direction of being what someone else wanted him to be. Even Reconciling with his dad required some major personal sacrifice to even make a baby step, which is why Rachel was so important.

This special finally brought closure to the biggest issue that was never resolved by the end of the show. Rachel finally put her creativity and creations to work helping others rather than building herself up out of her comfort zone. She was just driving around a barren desert in an ice cream truck handing out popsicles to people in need, How awesome is that? Ed finally had to cave in because THIS time, it was finally all or nothing. The castle and walls he built out of his pride, greed, and disdain for Rocko were finally crashing down, so there was nothing to fall back on if he didn’t reconcile with his child. I don’t know where the Bigheads are gonna go now, but, wherever it is, I know they’re a lot happier.

Was I surprised that one of my beloved childhood shows came back and used a major plot point to say “Trans Rights?” Yes.

Am I happy? Absolutely

#rocko's modern life #rachel #bigheads #nostalgic #closure

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radio-charlie · 5 years ago

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Too fatigued to find that list of things to do while stuck at home so will just put my own add-ons here:

Karaoke on ur phone - there are two apps that let u do this for free: Smule and WeSing. i like the latter more because u can sing solo for free, whereas with smule, free accounts need to look for folks who wanna duet with someone on the song u searched for. WeSing also lets u take videos of urself singing (with the option of adding filters), and if u choose to make ur songs public the community can come and like them, leave comments, follow ur channel etc.

Keep a video call with ur other homebound friends going while u guys just do ur own thing - self-explanatory. no pressure to keep a conversation going since forced shit like that just makes u feel even more lonely and depressed. someone reads, someone cleans, someone’s on social media - just like housemates chilling together. if all of u have flat-rate wifi to rely on, u can just keep the call going the whole day if u want.

Do relaxing things near an open window - doesn’t matter if the view is shit or ur neighbors failed compost heap is right outside. the fresh air makes u feel better and being near a window helps u feel connected to the outside world, also lets u look at changing scenery to stave off cabin fever.

Set times to have treats that are at least a few days apart - having something to look forward to, no matter how small, helps the time pass faster. and if u are really strict with urself about adhering to ur schedule, the treat will feel all the more satisfying. i’m giving myself this sunday to eat one of my nata de coco and litchi jellies, and the happy anticipation of such delights is something i think will help as the days go by. jesus christ this sounds a bit like the log of some stranded space captain who’s steadily going nuts huh. but well if it works it works! it also helps u build willpower!

Don’t force a positive attitude all the time - these are trying times and it’s only natural that u will feel like shit sometimes. there’s no shame in feeling frustrated, angry, even a bit self-pitying from time to time. and anyway, ur body has to feel what it wants to feel. the trick is to not let yourself wallow. if the feelings have gotten so terrible that they won’t go away, writing very self-indulgent posts in ur personal blog/journal helps.

#these are what i can think of for now. feel free to add on anything or correct whatever might turn out to be harmful for many

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headfulloffantasies · 6 years ago

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Double Dare

Jim Kirk cannot refuse a dare. It’s hard wired into his DNA not to turn down those three words: I Dare You.

Fandom: Star Trek

Words:1303

Jim Kirk cannot refuse a dare. It’s hard wired into his DNA not to turn down those three words: I Dare You.

His brother is responsible. Jim was six, a couple years before Frank walked into their lives. The golden years. He and Sam lay on their bellies in the Iowa summer, digging in the dirt. Jim poked at the squishy mud under his mother azaleas with a stick.

Sam suddenly squealed. “Look! Jim look at this!”

Jim leaned over to see. A coil of worm writhed in the soil. Jim was mesmerized by the way its body moved, undulating and liquid. He scooped it up. It was easily longer than his hand.

Sam wrinkled his nose. “Ew. You gotta eat it, Jim.”

“What?” Jim balked, watching the worm twist in his palm.

“Eat it! Eat it!” Sam chanted. He stopped and squared his shoulders. “I dare you.”

“I don’t wanna eat it,” Jim protested.

“I dared you, now you gotta,” Sam grinned. “It’s law that you gotta do something if someone dares you.”

Jim’s stomach twisted into a knot just like the worm in his hand. “What if I don’t?”

Sam poked him irritably. “Then you’ll be a sissy your whole life. Come on! Eat it!”

Jim lifted the worm and tipped it into his mouth. The worm squished between his teeth. Sam cheered when Jim threw up.

There was of course the dare Pike gave him. To do better than George Kirk. It was Jim who upped the anti. Three years to complete command track. There were days in his Academy dorm, at two in the morning studying on the fumes of energy drinks and ramen, that Jim thought this was going to be the dare that broke him. Maybe even killed him, if he was being dramatic.

Seven years later, well into their five year mission, Jim still wasn’t sure he won that dare. Could he really call himself better than his father? The tally of lives saved grew bigger every year, but so did the losses.

The trash compactor wasn’t working. Why this was Jim’s problem, he didn’t know, but here was in the annals of his ship, staring down at the mountain of trash that the replicator’s recycler refused to process.

Scotty was poking at a panel and scratching his head while Lieutenant Award explained to Jim what was going on.

“Over here’s the compost bins,” Award led Jim to the green containers as high as his shoulder. “Most of this ends up in the greenhouses as fertilizer.”

“It certainly smells like fertilizer,” Jim choked.

Award nodded solemnly. “There’s something in here that’s jamming everything, sir. Only we can’t figure out what. The mechanism works when the bins are empty, but obviously, we need to fill them.”

Jim checked the input valve at the back of the containers. He followed it to the plastic recycling bin. A red light flashed on the valve for the plastic intakes.

“Something’s wrong here,” he mumbled. “Why is the plastic being affected by compost?”

Jim straightened. “We need to get to the bottom of this bin.”

Scotty hurried over. “The release for the plastics is jammed. We can’t empty it automatically. It’ll have to be manual.”

“Of course it will,” Jim sighed.

“Dare you to go first,” Scotty joked, nudging Jim in the ribs.

He shrugged and hopped over the side, landing in a pile of junk. “I always knew I was a piece of trash, Mr. Scott. This is exactly where I belong.”

He was a captain, he shouldn’t have been in this situation in the first place. But Jim needed a chance to unwind after a near miss. There was a party in engineering, flowing with booze. Exactly like the bottle of glowing blue Sulu waved in front of Jim’s face.

“It’s Andorian,” Sulu grinned. “I dare you to drink it all.”

The dare wasn’t even directed at Jim. Sulu wouldn’t broach protocol like that. The dare had been issued to a knot of ensigns, barely out of cadet-hood. They dubiously stared at the liquid sloshing back and forth.

Jim’s hands started itching the second Sulu said the magic words. Dares couldn’t be left undone. It messed with the balance of the universe. And, ok, maybe Jim had had enough to drink already if was waxing poetic about dares. Didn’t matter. He couldn’t leave it alone.

“I’ll do it,” Jim snatched the bottle from Sulu and chugged it back. It burned all the way down and lit a fire in his guts. Jim smacked his lips. His throat was still burning. Like it was crawling with ants.

“Did you say this was Andorian?”

Sulu nodded mutely. The ensigns stared in awe.

Jim nodded and spun on his heel. “I’m going to medbay. Tell Bones to come find me if I’m not there in five minutes.”

“What?” Sulu spluttered.

Jim’s fingers and toes went numb. “I’m allergic!” He yelled as he started sprinting.

“Truth or Dare?”

“Dare.”

It wasn’t fair that Jim’s favourite game was considered something for horny teenagers. He loved a challenge, any kind. And he loved surprising people by finishing even the most ridiculous tasks.

Uhura pursed her glittery lips. Jim loved shore leave for the specific reason that he got to see what his crew chose to dress like when they weren’t actively part of Starfleet. Uhura’s red miniskirt, for example, was a surprise.

It had been Jim’s idea to have some of his senior staff over for drinking games. His shore leave apartment was big enough for three times the number of people who had showed up. Scotty, Spock, Bones, Nurse Chapel, Sulu, Chekov, and Uhura had answered his invitation.

“You can’t do Dare,” Uhura said. “You did Dare last turn.”

“Why are we playing children’s games?” Bones grumbled.

“Shh. Have a drink.” Scotty answered.

“Fine,” Jim rolled his eyes. “Truth.”

Uhura smirked. “What is Jim Kirk’s greatest fear?”

Jim swallowed hard. Fear knew Jim intimately. They were old pals. It took many faces for Jim. There was Frank, Nero, and Khan to start with. But they only scared Jim at night, in his sleep, when he forgot they were long buried. Then there was the fear without faces. Hunger, loss, pain. He learned most of those from Kodos, and nope, nope, not going there.

“I’m using my captaincy to veto. Give me a Dare.”

Uhura protested, “You were the one who said leave rank at the door.”

“Give me a Dare,” Jim ground out.

“I’ll give you a Dare,” Bones snapped. “I Dare you to pick another game. You’re all infants.”

Four crew dead. Seven in medical. The bastard that did it bleeding on the floor. Blood on Jim’s knuckles. His entire being boiled down to these facts. The engine room hummed around them, the sound of the ship’s breathing calming Jim. She was still flying. He got there in time. Killian didn’t get the bomb in place. It was over.

“I’m not done yet, Jim Kirk,” Killian groaned from the floor. His stupid goatee was drenched in blood. Satisfaction sparked in Jim’s chest knowing that he put Killian’s jaw out of socket. He had never been more murderous. The heap of filth on the floor almost killed Chekov, Sulu, Uhura. Bones was still down.

“You are done,” Jim ground out. “You’re going to the brig, and then to face Starfleet judgement.”

Killian let out a wet laugh. “That won’t stop me. Nothing will. I will be your nightmare.”

Security arrived, their reassuring red crowding into the space. Jim turned away, done talking to this scumbag.

“You should kill me.” Killian coughed, “I dare you to do it.”

Jim stopped cold. Killian wheezed on the floor.

Jim didn’t even bother glancing at him. “No, I don’t think I will.”

#star trek #5 things #5 times #jim kirk #spock #bones mccoy #star trek aos #dares #double dare #truth or dare #fanfiction #fanfic #fic

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hortascountrysidenotes · 5 years ago

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Reasons to be cheerful part 4

Lots of reasons - first of all Maigold is coming out and she is a tonic. She has been here for 30 years, never fails to disappoint, and when the sad day comes that she no longer feels inclined to live, she will be missed like a dear old lab for the joy she brings.

Second, I finished my painting of the lovely Primula Guinevere and got what I think would be the equivalent of an A from my teacher with best composition yet, red ink gold star - so it is being sent to my sister for her birthday next month.

Thirdly, I have come late to the story of Captain Tom, but was fully alerted to him during a moment of intense scrutiny of the BBC website, when I saw his tie - Hello I thought, that looks like a Duke of Wellington’s Regimental tie - Blood and Steel - and sure enough on further investigation it turned out to be so. Not only that but he fought in Burma and India and my brother who commanded the Dukes, is now investigating to see if he could have fought alongside our father during the same campaign. Further investigations into the story have brought information as to the difficulty the Yorkshire Regiment (as they are now called) are having, with the logistics in Covid time of providing the guard of honour and dealing with all the unexpected media! I gather Captain Tom quite rightly has politely told some of the media to buzz off as he wants to talk to the soldiers! Great chap.

Fourthly - well lots of small reasons really, the continuing quietness in the countryside and the time to watch the birds and natural world. Each morning whilst doing my PT down the bottom of the common I have been watching a delightful pair of Bullfinches in the blackthorn bush beside me - picking off the buds and chatting to each other. His red shirt looks so smart against white blossom and azure sky. This morning a chiff chaff, swaying on a high stem dishing out Chiff Chaff Chiff Chaff with the energy of an opera singer.

Asparagus is coming on and we have had two very small helpings. The roses are recovering from their deer attack and new shoots are forming up. Peonies that have been blank for years have got fat buds so I am continuing to water them. Even the disease ridden Pyracantha outside the back door which normally looks like its got measles looks better - could it be because I watered it prolifically three weeks ago with a tonic of iron and seaweed - maybe it has a stay of execution.

I have also given a bucketful of the same to the Star Jasmine - Trachelospermum jasminoides under and around the sitting room windows. I find this plant, despite being Mediterranean, needs a decent amount of water which being against a house wall it does not get. It also gets attacked by scale insect which leaves a horrible black sticky secretion on the upside of the leaves. I have therefore sprayed it with soft soap - actually Savon du Fer which comes from Marseilles - is black and treacly, but when mixed with hot water and dissolved, forms a brilliantly organic (semi) spray against all kinds of insects such as aphids. It has also been used this time on the sage against capsid bugs who leave those horrible little holes in the leaves of all the salvia family and indeed dahlias. Another fellow being pursued currently is our smartly turned out visitor THE LILY BEETLE - they are a real pain but jolly sporting - they sense you coming and leap off, falling upside down so as not to be seen with their undercarriage being black. But years of practice have taught me how to creep up on them. As an experiment I have squirted the last drops of the soft soap on the plants - today I shall go a hunting, and see if I can see any. I am particularly protecting my martagon lilies which are doing so well at the top of the garden.

Swallows are settled and one of the nests duly repaired and got ready. A pair of jays are hunting too hard for my liking but I am trying to be tolerant - at the top of the garden I did see a blackbird chasing them off - no doubt its nest has been discovered. The Shellduck are back nesting on the farm. In the meadows and on the common Ladysmock is now out and the bluebells in the woods a delight.

The only reason not to be cheerful is the continued lack of rain - a very very little came our way on Friday night and early Saturday, not enough to even make the tiles run. So I must continue watering the new young plants and the veg. Next big job will be preparing the greenhouse for the tomato plants which I am going to do slightly differently this year. I am going to dig out the little planting strip in the greenhouse removing the old soil and refill it with some of the pond silt and fresh compost - I have 40 bags of Dalesfoot Compost coming on a pallet on Monday, as I am beginning to think grobags are not very nutritious - our tomato cropping rate compared to my genius brother in law is very low. He grows his in the special little gadgets as do I, which you fill the outer part of, with water, but allows them to root directly into the soil underneath in his greenhouse .

Once my compost arrives I can also sow the leeks in the root trainers and next spring’s brassicas. Last year’s leeks were a complete disaster as I was lazy and tried growing them direct into the soil - clearly they were gobbled up by ants or someone as we got the princely number of 2 out of 100 which is not a good rate of return!

Lastly the girls - they are so happy - Inca lies in her favoured position in front of the Holm Oaks whenever the sun is hot enough. Mavis bustles about from compost heap to bonfire and basically wherever she might find the butt end of a piece of brassica. She absolutely ADORES them, so much so, that as we walk the lanes she grazes gently on oil seed rape as she goes along - quite bizarre - she loves the fresh flower heads and comes out covered in yellow pollen! Scouty is in her dotage now - she still loves a good walk, but only once a day and makes it clear that her place is now outside the front door in the morning sun - please put my bed there - outside the back door in the afternoon and then as it gets chilly around 6 she moves to her favoured position on the sofa waiting for the evening’s entertainment to start. She looks wonderful, the fur is nearly fully back and I think she is a very happy dog with her beloved Miss Horta at home all the time. We are doing a little training most days - Mavis is loving it - yesterday we should have been doing a Novice Test at Sandringham - a shame these things have had to be cancelled, but it may get rescheduled for the autumn - Mavis might be in pup by then, not counting my chickens at all on that one, in which case we will be a non runner, but we wait and see - it is impossible to make any plans.

Jobs to do - time to sow courgettes and french beans etc if not already done. Prick out and pot on seedlings, tomato plants etc. Keep an eye for bugs and beasties now and if a plague then use the above method if absolutely necessary. Tie in shoots of climbers and make sure clematis are secure in case of high winds. Stake and put in supports for herbaceous plants. Water - if you have containers full of tulips etc - photo attached - remember they have had no significant rain and could be very dry. Lift hyacinth bulbs from pots as soon as foliage has pretty much died off, store in a sack in a dry place for replanting in autumn. Sweet peas can be planted out if not already done. Masses of veg to sow. Potatoes should appear soon so be ready to earth them up. Dont cut lawns too short while they are under stress from lack of rain. Maybe learn to live with them a bit longer - saves fuel and allows a few low growing wildflowers such as ground ivy and clover to flower for the pollinators.

HORTA

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fireemblemtcg · 6 years ago

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Cipher Live Broadcast 16-2-2019: New card translations

Cards which have been given proper showcases on the Cipher twitter account are not included, as this blog already has translations of them.

Purple (Legendary Weapons)

B16-????? Deke: Trustworthy Mercenary Captain Mercenary/Cost1 Purple/Male/Sword 40ATK/10SUPP/1RNG

"What? The fighting's started already? Let's get a move on, then."

Battleground Mindset [TRIGGER] [ONCE PER TURN] When you deploy an other ally to the Front Line, the until the end of the turn, this unit gains +10 attack.

[ATK] Attack Emblem [SUPP] Until the end of this combat, your attacking unit gains +20 attack.

Illust. Clover.K

B16-????? Shanna: Pegasus Knight of the Mercenaries Pegasus Knight/Cost1 Purple/Female/Lance/Flier/Beast 30ATK/30SUPP/1RNG

"There's no other army that travels all over like this one! I couldn't ask to be in a better army than this for my training."

Elysian Deliverer [ACT] [TAP] Choose 1 other ally, and move them.

[ATK] Elysian Emblem [SUPP] Choose 1 ally, aside from your attacking unit. You may move that ally.

Illust. Megumi Nagahama

B16-????? Klein: Lordling of House Reglay Archer/Cost1 Purple/Male/Bow 30ATK/20SUPP/2RNG

"I'm not a child anymore. I often find myself up front in the squad I lead."

Young Commander [ACT] [TAP] Choose 1 other ally with a deployment cost of 1, and move them.

Anti-Fliers [ALWAYS] If this unit is attacking a <Flier>, this unit gains +30 attack.

[ATK] Bullseye Emblem [SUPP] Until the end of this combat, non-lord defending units cannot evade.

Illust. Rika Suzuki

B16-????? Clarine: Ladyling of House Reglay Troubadour/Cost1 Purple/Female/Staff/Beast 20ATK/20SUPP/NO RNG

"Listen and be dumbstruck! I am Lady Clarine, of the noble Etrurian House Reglay!"

Heal [ACT] [TAP, FLIP 2] Choose 1 non-"Clarine" card from your Retreat Area, and add it to your hand.

A Lesson in Primping [ACT] [TAP] Choose 1 other ally with a deployment cost of 1. Until the end of the turn, that ally gains +10 attack.

[DEF] Miracle Emblem [SUPP] Until the end of this combat, your opponent's attacking unit cannot perform a critical hit.

Illust. Tetsu Kurosawa

B16-????? Saul: Messenger of Divine Love Priest/Cost1 Purple/Male/Staff 30ATK/20SUPP/NO RNG

"Truly, being able to meet such a beautiful lady is a blessing from the gods! This meeting must have been part of some divine plan."

Heal [ACT] [TAP, FLIP 2] Choose 1 non-"Saul" card from your Retreat Area, and add it to your hand.

[DEF] Miracle Emblem [SUPP] Until the end of this combat, your opponent's attacking unit cannot perform a critical hit.

Illust. Niko Komori

B16-????? Saul: Amorous Priest Bishop/Cost3(2) Purple/Male/Tome 50ATK/20SUPP/1-2RNG

"I am a servant of the gods... I must be equally caring to all women."

A Helping Hand for Wayward Lambs [Tap 1 <Female> ally] Until the end of the turn, this unit gains +10 attack.

[ATK] A Sermon on Divine Love [SUPP] Until the end of this combat, your <Female> attacking unit gains +10 attack.

Illust. Niko Komori

B16-????? Dorothy: Gods-Serving Archer Archer/Cost1 Purple/Female/Bow 30ATK/20SUPP/2RNG

"But where did Saul run off to now? How am I supposed to guard him if he keeps disappearing?"

The Priest's Guardswoman [ALWAYS] If this unit is attacking an enemy with a deployment cost of 1, this unit gains +10 attack.

Anti-Fliers [ALWAYS] If this unit is attacking a <Flier>, this unit gains +30 attack.

[ATK] Bullseye Emblem [SUPP] Until the end of this combat, non-lord defending units cannot evade.

Illust. Doji Shiki

B16-????? Dorothy: Pure Archer Sniper/Cost3(2) Purple/Female/Bow 50ATK/20SUPP/2RNG

"You've been flirting with every girl in this army, Brother Saul... People will misjudge the church if they see you!"

"Gird yourself!" [TRIGGER] [FLIP 2] Each time this unit's attack destroys an enemy, you may pay the cost and if you do: Untap this unit.

Anti-Fliers [ALWAYS] If this unit is attacking a <Flier>, this unit gains +30 attack.

[DEF] Guardswoman's Archery [SUPP] Until the end of this combat, your defending unit gains +10 attack.

Illust. Doji Shiki

B16-????? Hugh: Worldly Mage Mage/Cost2 Purple/Male/Tome 40ATK/20SUPP/1-2RNG

"Today is your lucky day! Here's a mage for hire. How about it?"

Able Mage [ALWAYS] During your turn, if the card supporting this unit is <Tome>, this unit gains +20 attack.

"I know what I'm doing!" [TRIGGER] [FLIP 1] When this unit's attack destroys an enemy with a deployment cost of 1, you may pay the cost and if you do: Draw 1 card.

Illust. Tobi

B16-????? Lalum: Cheery Dancer Dancer/Cost3 Purple/Female/No Weapon 30ATK/10SUPP/NO RNG

"Your face has gone all red! Oh, you're just so cute, Lord Roy!"

Dance [TAP, FLIP 2] Choose 1 ally who has attacked in this turn, and untap them.

"Time for the main event!" [TRIGGER] [ONCE PER TURN] When an ally is untapped by an ally's skill or your support skill, draw 1 card.

[ATK] Secret Performance [SUPP] You may pay the cost and if you do: Untap your attacking unit.

Illust. Horiguchi Kousei

Red (Blade of Light)

B16-????? Mae: I'll Do It For Lady Celica! Mage/Cost1 Red/Female/Tome 30ATK/20SUPP/1-2RNG

"Now get ready, because I'm gonna help the heck outta you today!"

Energetic Servant [ALWAYS] If you have 2 or more other <Red> allies, this unit gains +10 attack.

[ATK] Magic Emblem [SUPP] Draw 1 card. Choose 1 card from your hand, and send it to the Retreat Area.

Illust. Sakura Miwabe

B16-????? Genny: Sky-Wheeling Holy Maiden Falcon Knight/Cost3(2) Red/Female/Lance/Flier/Beast 50ATK/30SUPP/1RNG

"Hee hee! I did pretty good, right?"

Blessed Lance [TRIGGER] [FLIP 2] When this unit's attack destroys an enemy, you may pay the cost and if you do: Choose 1 non-"Genny" card from your Retreat Area, and add it to your hand.

Banish [ALWAYS] If this unit is attacking a <Monster>, this unit gains +20 attack.

Illust. Horiguchi Kousei

B16-????? Boey: Villager from Novis Villager/Cost1 Red/Male/Sword 30ATK/20SUPP/1RNG

"I always thought my whole life would pass without me ever leaving the island. But I've gotten to experience so much, and for that, I'm thankful."

Reliable Servant [ALWAYS] If you have 2 or more other <Red> allies, this unit gains +10 attack.

[DEF] Resistance Emblem [SUPP] If your defending unit is destroyed, then at the end of this combat, you may deploy this card instead of sending it to the Retreat Area.

Illust. Nekobayashi

B16-???R Boey: Adherent to the Path of Wisdom Guru/Cost3(4) Red/Male/Tome 50ATK/20SUPP/1-2RNG

"I feel myself getting stronger lately."

The Threshold of Truth [TRIGGER] When this unit Class Changes, then until he is removed from the battlefield, this unit gains +30 attack. This skill will not activate if this unit Class Changes through a skill's effect.

Lemegeton [ACT] [ONCE PER TURN] [FLIP 2] Choose 1 card with a deployment cost of 2 or lower from your Retreat Area, and deploy it.

Illust. Nekobayashi

B16-????? Atlas: Ex-Military Villager Villager/Cost1 Red/Male/Sword 30ATK/20SUPP/1RNG

"Came home to find my village in ruins and my brothers taken by Grieth. I want to tear that thief's head clean off his body! ...But I can't do it alone."

Mighty Woodcutter [ALWAYS] During your turn, this unit gains +10 attack.

"Let me come!" [ALWAYS] If you have an allied "Celica", this unit gains +10 attack.

[DEF] Resistance Emblem [SUPP] If your defending unit is destroyed, then at the end of this combat, you may deploy this card instead of sending it to the Retreat Area.

Illust. Tatsuro Iwamoto

B16-????? Atlas: Indebted Baron Baron/Cost5(3) Red/Male/Lance/Armored 60ATK/10SUPP/1RNG

"You're our savior, m'lady! From this point on, I am yours to command. You just say the word."

"Leave 'em all to me!" [ACT] [ONCE PER TURN] [FLIP 1] Until the end of the turn, this unit gains +20 attack.

Strength to Spare [TRIGGER] When this unit's attack ends, if the defending unit was your opponent's lord, you may move that lord.

Armor Expertise [ALWAYS] If this unit is being attacked by a non-<Tome>, this unit gains +20 attack.

Illust. Tatsuro Iwamoto

Green (Medallion)

B16-????? Sigrun: Kind White Pegasus Pegasus Knight/Cost1 Green/Female/Lance/Flier/Beast 30ATK/30SUPP/1RNG

"Beorc and laguz are both living things. Every precious life was created to be equal by the blessed goddess."

Elysian Deliverer [ACT] [TAP] Choose 1 other ally, and move them.

[ATK] Elysian Emblem [SUPP] Choose 1 ally, aside from your attacking unit. You may move that ally.

Illust. Yoko Matsurika

B16-????? Tanith: Strict Black Pegasus Pegasus Knight/Cost1 Green/Female/Lance/Flier/Beast 30ATK/30SUPP/1RNG

"I hope that we can demonstrate the greatness of Begnion’s knights."

The Imperial Knights' Maneuver [ACT] [ONCE PER TURN] [Stack 1 "Tanith" from your Retreat Area under this unit to Growth her] Choose up to 1 ally. Until the end of the turn, that ally gains +10 attack. (A unit who has Growthed is treated as if they have Leveled Up.)

[ATK] Elysian Emblem [SUPP] Choose 1 ally, other than your attacking unit. You may move that ally.

Illust. Uroko Naruse

B16-????? Nephenee: Helm-Masked Wrath Soldier/Cost1 Green/Female/Lance 40ATK/10SUPP/1RNG

"If you can defeat the king of Daein, will this country return to the way it used to be? Is that what you're after?"

Quiet Wrath [TRIGGER] When this unit destroys an enemy with a critical hit, draw 1 card.

[ATK] Attack Emblem [SUPP] Until the end of this combat, your attacking unit gains +20 attack.

Illust. Nijihayashi

B16-???R Nephenee: Patriotic Battle-Lance Halberdier/Cost4(3) Green/Female/Lance 70ATK/10SUPP/1RNG

"If we don't step up, the whole country'll be goin' on the compost heap."

[LVS-3] Love for Crimea [ALWAYS] If this unit inflicts a critical hit, you may [FLIP 1] instead of sending 1 "Nephenee" from your hand to the Retreat Area. ([LVS-3] becomes usable if a total of 3 or more cards are stacked with this unit.)

Shieldpiercing Lance [TRIGGER] When this unit destroys an enemy with a critical hit, choose 1 of your opponent's orbs, and destroy it.

Illust. Nijihayashi

B16-????? Altina: The Mightiest Beorc Swordswoman Trueblade/Cost6(4) Green/Female/Sword 70ATK/10SUPP/1RNG

" 'Back in the early days of the empire, Empress Altina, the first apostle of Begnion, used two swords to fight the dark god.' "

A Legend's Beginning [TRIGGER] When you deploy this unit, until the end of the turn, you are not required to pay the cost of this unit's "Cosmos-Shaking Twin Divine Swords".

Cosmos-Shaking Twin Divine Swords [ACT] [ONCE PER TURN] [FLIP 2] Unitl the end of your opponent's next turn, this unit gains +30 attack and range 1-2, and the number of orbs that this unit's attack will destroy is increased to 2.

Illust. Daisuke Izuka

No Symbol

B16-????? Líf: Sword General of the Realm of the Dead Sword Fighter/Cost1 No Symbol/Male/Sword 40ATK/10SUPP/1RNG

"Tremble before Sökkvabekkr, the sword of ruin...as I destroy this world."

Requiem Sword Strike [ALWAYS] If an enemy destroyed by this unit's attack is to be sent to the Retreat Area, it is instead sent to the Boundless Area.

[ATK] Attack Emblem [SUPP] Until the end of this combat, your attacking unit gains +20 attack.

Illust. Senri Kita

Promotional

P16-001PR Marth: The Future Hero-King Lord/Cost1 No Symbol/Male/Sword 40ATK/20SUPP/1RNG

"Alteans and friends of the League! Join me now! Help me set Altea free, and ensure today is the last battle my people must endure!"

Light's Command [ACT] [TAP] Choose 1 other ally. Until the end of the turn, that ally gains +10 attack.

[ATK] Hero Emblem [SUPP] Until the end of this combat, the number of orbs that your symbol-less attacking unit's attack will destroy is increased to 2.

Illust. Yusuke Kozaki, Rika Suzuki, Eiji Kaneda, toi8, Sachiko Wada, Senri Kita (all uncredited)

P16-002PR Lucina: Brand-Bearing Maiden Lord/Cost1 No Symbol/Female/Sword 40ATK/20SUPP/1RNG

"Look closely, and all will be made clear. I... am your daughter."

Confession of the Truth [ACT] [ONCE PER TURN] [FLIP 1] Choose 1 other ally in the same Area as this unit. Until the end of the turn, that ally gains +10 attack.

[ATK] Hero Emblem [SUPP] Until the end of this combat, the number of orbs that your symbol-less attacking unit's attack will destroy is increased to 2.

Illust. Yusuke Kozaki, Senri Kita, Rika Suzuki, Sachiko Wada, Hidari (all uncredited)

P??-???PR Lyn: Wind's Embrace Lord/Cost2 No Symbol/Female/Tome/Armored 40ATK/20SUPP/1-2RNG

"I was told this outfit is appropriate for a festival of love, but... It's awfully difficult to move around in."

Feelings of Gratitude [TRIGGER] When you deploy this unit, until the end of the turn, your lord gains +10 attack.

Blue Gift [TRIGGER] [ONCE PER TURN] [FLIP 1] When your lord's attack destroys an enemy, you may pay the cost and if you do: Draw 1 card.

Illust. Aoji

More Fire Emblem Cipher Series 16 translations!

#fire emblem #series: 16 #live broadcasts

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musings-on-bucky-barnes · 7 years ago

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Q & A with Owlet re: The Infinite Coffee & Protection Detail series

Along with many other people, one of my favourite Bucky Barnes fic series is The Infinite Coffee & Protection Detail. I was very happy when its author, Owlet @vmohlere kindly agreed to do the below Q&A with me about it, which is under a cut for length.

Q. How did This, You Protect come about?

1. After my third time seeing the movie [Captain America: The Winter Soldier], I thought it would be fun to write a one-shot about how obnoxious it would be to only partially remember and have to look after Steve.

2. "Oh great," says I, "I can practice writing humor."

3. Hundreds of thousands of words later: what even is my life.

Q. From your comments as you were writing This, You Protect, you did not set out to write such a long fic or a series, but you kept having more ideas and tangents and loved writing Grumpy Bucky?

Accurate! It really did just take over my brain.

Q. Now that the main stories in the series are done, after you have a well-earned rest and work on your other writing and poems, are any one shots likely in due course for the IC&PD?

Mmmmmmaaaaaaaybe. I have notes for a few, that take Steve & Barnes out to the end of their lives, but I hesitate to commit, because I need to focus on my original stuff for now.

BUCKY BARNES:

Q. Coffee addict (did he like it in his old life?) and quick to get back to personal grooming (he was a metrosexual before it was popular).

In my mind, coffee: no – the Bucky-Person drank coffee for warmth & caffeine, but I do picture him as pretty dang vain, until his time under Zola’s “tender care” broke him.

Q. What appealed to you about Bucky? What did you learn about him when writing this?

Initially, in Winter Soldier, I immediately latched onto this character who was set up to be remorseless & relentless, but who was confused in a way he didn’t understand by that *face*. In the fight on the helicarrier, you know his handlers would’ve been incensed by his hesitation, when he was obviously standing there thinking, “Okay, asshole: input me some data so I can determine just what kind of irritant you are.”

Q. Where did you get the idea for the Mission and the Briefing?

You see the Briefing in Winter Soldier, in the memory flashes during the bank vault scene. Mission just erupted into my head out of this sense that there are parts of him HYDRA never tore down.

Q. The climax of This, You Protect – when did you decide that sheep pants would help save the day?

It was one of those beautiful surprises that happen when you make stuff, and I cried all over my notebook.

Q. Bucky’s recovery – a slow, realistic process with some setbacks, pain and humor: learning how to open up to others, to get used to physical contact again eventually, how he helps himself and lets others in, safe spots, good things list, reading, long baths, personal care, baking, sheep pants, coffee, helping others and much more.

There have been a couple of times when a really small thing has saved my life. Everyone’s small lifesaving thing is different. Barnes’s are PJs, baking, and concrete assistive actions.

Q. What I love particularly about this Bucky is how others are drawn to him like Steve was as his true, kind self is able to start emerging again, and how his involvement with those people affects them in turn, like the Avengers interacting with each other in new ways (e.g. the ice cream tasting) and them getting to meet the Olds, which is beneficial all around.

People who don’t recognize how valued they are is a trope I never, ever, ever get tired of. We’re all stuck in our meat bodies, and we see all the messy bits in the inside (my best friend says, “Oh Virginia, you will never irritate anyone as much as you irritate yourself”), and we forget that there exist people who just LIKE us, and that that’s enough. I’ll be writing about that my whole life.

STEVE:

Q. The readers find out in this series that Steve tends to cheat at card games and has been doing so for a long time. Is that because it was the only edge he had when he was sick and frail and tired of being underestimated & he can’t or doesn’t want to break the habit now?

Steve’s a snotball and a contrarian. In my head, he learned to cheat from the women in the Star-Spangled Man show, because they liked to fleece guys who were looking to get the women drunk & take advantage of them. So to him, it’s both a habit and a tool to annoy jerks. Also, he thinks it’s funny to be Captain America, Cheater At Cards. Because the one thing other than Bucky that has always been a constant in his life is people underestimating him/trying to define him by one thing (illness/size vs the costume & shield).

Q. And why does he cheat against LYDIA (which is asking her to serve his ass to him on a platter!)? Does he have a death wish?

He recognizes a similar level of sarcasm in her and thinks it’s hilarious to try to fool her and then get walloped by her.

Q. What things did you discover about Steve along the way?

The cheating at cards thing, which was a throwaway line in the first chapter where I referenced it and then grew in the back corner of my mind like a “volunteer tomato” in a compost heap until it became A Thing. Writing “Truth, Justice, and the Cheating Cheater Way” was SO fun.

It was important to me to give Steve a temper and a wide impetuous streak, which I felt both Avengers and Age of Ultron TOTALLY got wrong about him. Except that we pretend Age of Ultron doesn’t exist.

Q. In A Chance to Try Bravery, we get to see Bucky and his behavior from Steve’s perspective, including that Bucky talks out loud to himself, seemingly without realizing he’s doing so. How often does Bucky do that, or does it vary/lessen as time goes on? And what things does Bucky ramble to Steve and others about when high on medication after the robot fight?

At the beginning, he talks to himself out loud a LOT. There are some hints about that in the text. Over time, that does lessen, except when he’s stressed, which makes him mutter pretty constantly.

Doped-up Barnes is verbally affectionate and has a little bit of the Bucky-person’s Brooklyn twang.

TONY:

Look, I HATE what Civil War did to Tony. There is too much in Barnes’s history for Tony to IDENTIFY with. Tony's arc in Iron Man - capture, body modification, his tech being stolen for nefarious use - has similar touch points to Barnes's story.

Also, for pity’s sake, do we believe for one second that Pepper didn’t make him go to therapy? We do not.

PEPPER:

I am not a Gwyneth Paltrow fan, so it surprised the hell out of me how much affection I developed for Pepper approximately 5 words after she popped up in This, You Protect. I just loved writing her, because she’s so dang together and sensible.

MARIA:

It just made me cackle to set her up as the Alpha Badass. I love her.

SAM:

I’m not going to go back and rewrite, but if I did, I would put in more Sam. Sam’s IMPORTANT. He’s the voice of Real People who go through similar crap to Steve & Barnes and have to deal with it all using Real People methods. He’s what it looks like when you make it to the other side of the wringer – his compassion is deep and wide, but he’s not a martyr and his energy isn’t endless.

NATASHA:

I feel like there’s a heft to Natasha that I don’t even know about in my own fictional universe. She’s like Sam – a picture of what it looks like to Survive Some Shit, with more broken-off edges than Sam has. She carries a lot of burdens that she’ll never tell anyone about.

CLINT:

Truly a poetry nerd.

JARVIS:

The helpful busybody (from better surveillance equipment, to books and lubricants!)

I really enjoyed writing JARVIS, because it was cool to think about a being that was omnipresent and largely non-judgmental. I felt like I had to be careful not to use JARVIS too much or it’d turn out to be a deus ex machina.

CAT ELEANOR:

My own personal Cat Eleanor, who was similarly judgy and protective, was a grey tabby named Boadicea (Boadie) whom I collected as a very ill stray kitten and who lived with me for 13 years. She liked to eat her dinner from a plate on the table and was a terrible stealer of French fries.

Sidebar: I still have her ashes in a bag in my sock drawer, because what the heck am I supposed to do with them?

THOR:

Thor’s compassion & wisdom caught me off guard every time he showed up, even though I was *trying* to remember that he’s powerful and practically immortal. But he outdid my ideas for him.

THE OLDS:

I guess in some parallel universe that I’m channeling, they must be real people, because they popped fully formed into my head like a trio of hilarious Athenas. Esther has a couple of great-nieces on the West Coast, and Ollie has a few distant step-ish younger relatives from his de facto late husband’s side of the family. Functionally, they are each other’s family.

THE CARP, TOSHIRO HAYASHI AND KAZUE:

Based in part on Sushi Gin in Lawrence, Kansas, where I once had a delicious and fun solo meal at the sushi bar, and Masa’s Sushi and Robata Bar in Spring, Texas, whose nabeyaki udon I’m crazy for.

THE COFFEE BAR AND KATIE:

I mentioned her briefly in Team-Building Exercises as if she were important, so then I had to create her for The Long Road Begins at Home. She was a bit of a conundrum until I thought of making her one of the victims of the Chitauri attack.

THE ANTI-VALENTINE’S NO TOUCH CLUB

Q. What were its origins?

Honestly I just wanted to write more Hill, because I surprised myself with how much I liked writing her, and I knew she’d hate Valentine’s Day as much as Barnes. From there, it was a matter of thinking who else would hate it and then add Steve, because of all his “whither thou goest” vibe.

Q. How do you picture the next Valentine’s Day meeting of that club, since two of the members are now bonking each other every chance they get?

That’s not until the NEXT year. And they spend the whole time very purposely not touching one another until they’re cross-eyed and jump each other in the elevator. Hill grumps at them a lot.

THE HAIR CLUB:

It was important to me that the women of the Tower be one another’s support group in the midst of all that testosterone. One of the things that I enjoyed about writing Team-Building Exercises was that it was vignettes that appeared out of thin air without any explanation.

… That being said, it made sense to me that the women’s sense of ease with one another would draw Barnes in just like Esther did. He has no idea how much he lurked and stared at them before they invited him over. Once she Got It, Pepper’s natural caretaker tendencies kicked in, and Barnes was in. Pepper is a Fixer.

Q. Present tense isn’t often used all the way through a long fic. I think the only time I’ve used it in a fic was when I gave the POV character amnesia, and present tense felt right, as he was in the current moment and it was all he had, with no memories to fall back on. But you used it so well that it suits and isn’t jarring. What led you to decide on present tense?

There’s no other option for that character, in my mind. Barnes experiences everything with almost complete immediacy, and present tense was the only way to convey that.

Q. Are Bucky and Steve likely to get their own cat at some stage?

Yes.

Q. YES!!!! Do you have a name in mind for it? And does it love Bucky more than it loves Steve?

I don't want to say anything more about their cat, in case I write that part!

Q. When will the public find out about Bucky being alive, and when will they find out about Bucky and Steve being together?

I have no head canons for these questions. Miracle on Park Avenue is not part of Infinite Coffee, though.

Q. It was interesting that you released Steve and Bucky getting together in Advanced Happiness Skills before you did The Long Road Begins at Home fic. Did the muse direct you to write and release it early?

I tried really hard not to write Long Road – I knew it would eat up acres of time, and I wanted to be done after Advanced Happiness. But it got to the point that I had to write notes or have my head explode, and eventually I had so many dang notes that I figured I’d better type the damn things up.

Q. So, you actually started writing Team-Building Exercises as a standalone instead of as a teaser for The Long Road Begins at Home?

Yes, I really didn't intend to go any farther than that.

Q. And at what point in the series did you realize that it would become Stucky?

Oh gosh, I guess it was always in the background, from the early chapters of This, You Protect. But it was a long time before I thought I’d actually write that part.

Q. Did anything change due to fan comments? What went off in directions that you hadn’t planned on in the plotting stage? What things got left out?

There’s a funny bit about Barnes freaking that Steve will drown in the reflecting pool in the National Mall, until he discovers that it’s only about 18 inches deep.

There was one small detail that I put in because of a fan comment, but I’m sorry to say that I can’t remember what it was.

“Planned on in the plotting stage” … uh.

Um.

Er.

I wrote this whole thing by the seat of my pants.

Q. It can be fun and fraught to do a series, as there is a lot to juggle and things to seed in to set up plots and developments for further down the track. How did you keep tabs on what needed to happen when?

Gotta be magic. I mean, I held the whole thing in my head for years and could see it as clear as day. It crowded out many other things.

Q. What is your writing process like, or was it different for this series?

I write and tinker almost daily, but I’ve found that my best pieces tend to be the ones that build up like pressure in my head and fall out all at once. My Star Wars fic, Generational Mistakes, is over 17,000 words that literally came out all at one time, starting around 1:00 am, when it woke me up. I had to take the day off work, and by the time I had the whole draft out on paper (hand written!), I was literally crying from the pain in my hand.

That’s an extreme example, of course, usually it’s more like the beginning of a thing blooms, and sections build up until they attain enough gravity to ooze out in blobs. I generally have to start out writing by hand until I pick up some inertia and can switch to typing, though I also do a lot of editing in the first typing pass if a whole piece is hand-written.

I write very badly to self-imposed deadlines and very well to feeling like I Owe Someone, so the reader comments really propelled me along throughout the whole series.

Q. The fics have really shown the therapeutic power of cooking, as well as different recipes, especially in the comments section.

There is not enough I can say about the comments section. It took on a life of its own in a way that I would not even have imagined – not just the screaming and the recipes, which were great, but the way people jumped in to comfort and support one another. It is really beautiful, and I’m beyond grateful, and so proud of all of them and to be a part of them.

I’m sincerely humbled by and thankful to all the comments, but especially those from people who found comforting or useful bits in Barnes’s recovery. Even if this one life isn’t the only one we get, it’s the only one we *remember*, and damaging shit is a pure fact of existence. To have provided material help to even one suffering person (much less the dozens of who’ve reached out) makes a strong place in my own heart. I have a concrete thing that I can look at with my own eyeballs and say for real and for sure that I Did Well and I Helped. That gives a human life ballast. It’s an honor.

I started Long Road at a time when I was feeling super demoralized about my original works, and the life it made for itself in fandom still just knocks me over. If y’all were going to have that much faith in me, I figure I’d better lift up my head and have faith in myself. Thank you for that.

xXx

Thank you very much to Owlet for putting up with all of my questions, and if at some stage down the road she is willing to do another one, I already have some questions written down for it!

This Q&A will also be available on Owlet’s AO3 page.

#infinite coffee and protection detail #fic #q&a #owlet #bucky barnes #fanfic #my posts #author q&a

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sussex-nature-lover · 5 years ago

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Sunday 10th May 2020

Love and Romance

A funny thing about May is birthdays. Women’s birthdays in my family specifically. *NB the link is a US based site. Mother’s Day UK is in March each year

My late maternal Grandma was born on the 5th, my late Mother on the 10th, she would’ve been 94 today, and our younger daughter on the 20th. That has a very pleasing symmetry about it doesn’t it.

I like symmetry, in the home, in the cultivated parts of the garden, in architecture - Georgian is my favourite - and now in the front porch, which we swept out and tidied up yesterday. The log pile looks a lot more stable now and more pleasing to my eyes.

We restored everything to how it was pre Tracey and tidied away her unmade bed-nest (the rejected materials) There was plenty of it.

Of course, she’s more than welcome back, even if she started her silly business all over again. The nesting materials are round by the front compost heap now, handy for anyone who’s still building or doing repairs, a kind of wildlife Bedding Is Us.

In better

NEST BOX NEWS:

When we were out and about yesterday we could hear quite a bit of cheeping in the side wall nest box where the House Sparrows are busy in and out. Let’s keep everything crossed that this is a successful nest.

We’ve got high hopes for Robin, Great Tit, Blue Tit and Chaffinch too, but only potentially seen a fledgling GT out for food so far.

In other ‘Romantic’ updates, he was at it again last evening - his Lordship, the Captain that is

First off he puffs himself up and then starts his display

While she remains unimpressed thinking ‘I’m trying to have something to eat and drink here you know’

When she finally had enough, of his attempts to make his move, she flew off to safety on the garage roof.

All these shenanigans apart, we’re going to have to keep an eye on Blackbelly as I noticed he’s limping. Not sure what we can do about it mind you.

For all the valiant efforts at defending his patch, The Imposter took advantage of one of the girls the other day. I wonder if we’re going to see any chicks this year? That would be a first.

What goes with Love? Roses.

Two little ones, purchased at the same time. One’s doing very well for leaves and the other for buds, although these pictures don’t show the buds all that well. I’ve forgotten what the flowers are like, so am awaiting a nice surprise.

What doesn’t go so well with Romance? Garlic and Wild Garlic.

But as the weather’s changed (it really has, yesterday was SO hot and sunny and today is dull, quite cool and breezy - as forecast) I thought it would be romantic to make a nice Risotto tonight. Turn the kitchen into a home Bistro. Leftover Chicken and left over Fennel with the addition of some wild garlic butter and crispy chopped up bacon atop. The Fennel was sauteed in a little oil and then cooked through in dry Vermouth (recipe idea, not the one I used) Yum, looking forward to that already, although I also have a fancy for making some Parmesan Crisps.

All you do for Parmesan Crisps by the way is heat your oven to around 170-175C (350F/Gas 4) Heat a baking tray and then cover with greaseproof paper/baking parchment/silicon sheet. Very finely grate Parmesan and using a pastry cutter ring, space out little heaps of cheese - do not press down. Cook around 8 mins, but check on them, removing when they’re bubbled to golden brown. Lift carefully with a fish slice or large pallet knife. Cool on a close grid wire rack and then store in an airtight container. Not that much storing occurs in our house.

The Wild Garlic was picked with love by our neighbour by the way. The best gifts are the unexpected ones. What we didn’t use last night (on BBQ steak and baked potato) will be frozen in slices for future use.

I thought I’d close today with a couple of photos of the field across the lane, just to show how everything’s developing as the weeks go on.

The sky’s a bit white in these shots, but lots of lovely green. That line of trees is beautiful. I’m keeping a look out to see if the Deer return.

LATE UPDATE:

Captain Blackbelly seems to be walking ok now. He limped one day last week as well, perhaps he’s been wandering through too many brambles or something. Same thing happened to the other half in the week, the thorn in his leg was unbelievable.

Please note that I do try to avoid typos, I’m not always totally successful

Outside Links in bold type are not affiliated to this blog

#nature

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kupoetic · 5 years ago

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The Rotted Throne [Dark Souls]

A Dark Souls inspired concept about an unvisited region in the world. The time period and location is left ambiguous There is a small connecting thread to my other work Painted Flower Beds.

Every so often here you’ll find another cadaver still trudging about. Dauntless, taking step after step as if there were any destination that awaits their arrival. Naught but gravel blown by the wind, being chipped away until they are indistinguishable from the dust blowing across the barren fields. Few will remember why they came or where they came from. So, you might as well know where you are.

You’re in a land with no name. Well, it certainly had one once, but to be something in name only is to be nothing at all. What good is a name for a land with no one to speak it and no lord to uphold it. This great empty, it was once home to many people, and to a goodly Queen. Her subjects were many, and when the lands became embroiled in strife, they suffered.

The Queen was benevolent, she emptied her coffers and sold all her possessions, all to help her starving subjects. But there were so many, and the royal riches were not nearly enough. So, she took the kingdom’s armory and sold it to their warring neighbors. Still, it was not enough, and soon the masses clamored again. Then she had the forests cut and burned, the ash used to nourish the crops. When the ash was depleted, the people begged for more, thus all the animals were slaughtered, their humors soaking into the ground, feeding it just awhile longer.

Eventually the queen turned to very grim means indeed… Ah, but no matter the means it was never enough, and the subjects she so desperately wished to save broke down her gates and burned the castle. The queen had sacrificed so much for the kingdom that in the end there was no kingdom left. It was a kingdom only in name…

Oh go on ahead, I won’t stop you.

You’re certainly someone, with a duty… and a purpose…

Perhaps you’ll go sit upon the rotted throne.

Make yourself a proper lord. At least in name…

Hmm Hmm Hmm…

The Barren Plains

Serrated Plow

The prongs of this plow end with serrated blades. As corpses were dumped into the fields, their viscera was let loose into the soil. All the quicker to feed the earth, as time was of the essence.

Skill: Eviscerate

Plunge spear into exposed flesh and repeatedly tear, causing bleed damage.

Mulch-wrapping Shirt

A loosely woven cloth wrapped around the torso of an undead from the mulch pile. Several holes have been stabbed through it.

The cloth wrapped around the undead sent to the mulch pile was designed to let their blood and viscera bleed into the earth while keeping bugs and stray animals from devouring them.

Carrion Root

Ground up root of the strange plant that would grow around the soils where undead were leeched. Consuming the leave made one violently ill, but it was discovered the root counteracted the toxins and disease festering in the mulch pile. Invaluable to harvesters working there.

Cures poison and toxic status. Reduces poison and toxic buildup.

Bleeding Extract

Distilled extract taken from toxic plants that grew in the Great Oakwood. Applies bleeding to right hand weapon.

Originally used by hunters in the Great Oakwood, the blood-thinning effects were put to more sinister uses by the farmers tilling the increasingly barren fields.

Alta’s Dress

The royal gown of Queen Alta.

Once an ornate green dress. After being sold the dress was ripped apart to be sold to others in pieces. This remaining section is dirty and faded, a far cry from the verdant green that once represented the Lord and Land.

Bandit’s Scarf

An assuming brown cloth that could quickly be wrapped around the face to hide one’s identity.

When food became scarce many of the impoverished turned to theft and murder. Because they often had to steal from close neighbors and friends, robbery was better done surreptitiously.

Bandit’s Vest

A simple-looking vest designed to hold a hidden blade.

When food became scarce many of the impoverished turned to theft and murder. Because they often had to steal from close neighbors and friends, robbery was better done surreptitiously.

Great Oakwood Ashes

Evlana Arrow

Light arrows with thin shafts. Extremely streamlined tips.

Said in jest to be the arrows of the goddess Evlana herself. Their unique design allows them to fly faster than standard arrows, a necessity to catch the game once inhabiting the Great Oakwood.

While they do not strike as hard as heavier arrows, the tips effectively pierce armor.

Xanthous Gloves

Gloves wrapped with bright yellow cloth, worn by scholars who studied ancient sorceries.

The gloves are covered in ash from persistent digging. What could one have hoped to find in the bloody, ashen ground?

Coin’s Knight Greatsword

A single-edged greatsword once wielded by the knights of Demetia.

Demetian knights only resorted to using the bladed edge against foreign marauders. Tragic then that the blade has now been worn down by use on those it was meant to protect.

Skill: Takedown

Rush forward and swing with the blunt edge dealing heavy but non-lethal damage.

Coin’s Knight Helmet

A sturdy copper helmet once worn by the knights of Demetia. Long since tarnished to a shabby green.

The armor and weapons sold from the royal armory came into the possession of mercenaries in the employ of nobles. Though garbed as a knight, their loyalty was only to the coins that paid them, and so they became known as a Coin’s Knight.

Coin’s Knight Cuirass

A sturdy copper cuirass once worn by the knights of Demetia. Long since tarnished to a shabby green.

The armor is emblazoned with a stuffed Cornucopia. However, this symbol of abundance has all but worn away.

Soul of Baron Nole

Soul of Nole, Baron of the Great Oakwood

As Baron Nole watched his woods cut and burned he became reclusive and hired mercenaries to defend his estate. It is said that he took in many servants, but it is unknown how he kept so many fed while the masses outside his ash-covered gates starved.

Use this wondrous soul to acquire numerous souls, or to acquire something of great worth.

Nole’s Carving Knife

Dagger formed from the Soul of Nole, Baron of the Great Oakwood

As ash settled on his estate, he knew the land would never recover. To avoid starvation, they would need to feed on what could be provided. One by one he invited servants into his dining room, so as to develop a new appetite.

The Mulch Pile

Harvester’s Scythe

Scythe of the harvesters tasked with feeding the mulch pile.

The harvesters' grisly work of adding undead to the mulch pile was a tedious task. To ensure the undead did not escape the harvesters would slice at their heels, robbing them of their ability to flee.

Skill: Reap

Slice at nearly ground level, bypassing any attempt to block or parry.

Harvester’s Gloves

Gloves of the harvesters tasked with feeding the mulch pile. Coated in an indescribable foulness.

The harvester's work was dirty, throwing bodies, excrement, and all manner of decay into the heap of compost. Proper protection was absolutely necessary.

Harvester’s Boots

Boots of the harvesters tasked with feeding the mulch pile. Coated in an indescribable foulness.

The harvester's work was dirty, throwing bodies, excrement, and all manner of decay into the heap of compost. Proper protection was absolutely necessary.

Pillager’s Axe

Greataxe used by invading marauders. Unwieldy, the great size was meant to intimidate, allowing its wielder to plunder without resistance from the populace.

The marauders that came seeking easy plunder found themselves wanting. Soon they were bereft of enough coin or provisions to make the return journey.

Skill: Battle Cry

Let out a savage battle cry that temporarily boosts poise.

Peace Seeker’s Ring

Ring of Peace Seeker Danellia. Increases sprint speed when moving away from an enemy.

Danellia had to flee many homes as war engulfed cities and the undead curse brought down nations. The undead are driven by ambition and purpose. If they are otherwise fated to go hollow, what then does peace look like to an undead?

Castle Demetia

Alta’s Crown

Crown bearing the royal sigil of Demetia

The royal crown of Demetia was a humble ornament made from the lacquered wood of its great oak trees. It was of no worth to any merchant and so it was ignored. Yet if it was indeed so worthless, why did Alta clutch it so tightly?

Soul of Knight Cevert

Soul of Knight Cevert, the last knight of Demetia.

Knight Cevert became the de facto captain after most of the sworn knights abandoned the queen and fled the palace. Even without his sword or armor, he gathered his few remaining men and stood guard against the angry mobs.

Use the wondrous soul of this virtuous knight to acquire numerous souls, or to acquire something of great worth.

Cevert’s Gloves

Fighting gloves of Knight Cevert.

Without a sword to defend the queen with, Cevert took to using his fists. He wrapped his fine gloves in leather and sewed small pieces of metal between the straps. The thieves who did not take an unarmed knight seriously paid quite dearly.

Skill: One Inch Punch

Extend fist out and then deliver a surprisingly powerful blow, causing extra poise damage. Extremely short range.

Devour

Dark Miracle learned long ago by the royal heralds.

Break down nearby corpses to a baser form, allowing one to draw them in and restore vitality.

The fundamentals of this miracle were employed in creating the mulch pile, but why had such a miracle ever been taught in a land of abundance?

Great Oak Chime

Sacred chime made by fastening the bell to an oak’s branch and allowing the wood to grow over it.

The once plentiful lands of Demetia used tributes to keep war from their borders, but after the Great Oakwood and its fauna were sacrificed there were no more tributes to offer, and so their neighbors allowed marauders to roam freely.

Violet Herb

Herb with a deep violet hue. Dramatically increases stamina regeneration but lowers resistance to poison.

These herbs were once used by royal heralds before a long journey. When the ash and blood of the Great Oakwood seeped into the water these once blue herbs took on a purple tone, a color associated with poison.

VISUALS

· The Barren Plains have dust storms that fade in and out over time.

· Undead corpses in the fields of the Barren Plains have their hands and feet bound.

· Some undead corpses in the fields of The Barren Plains have their feet cut off.

· Undead bodies in the Barren Plains may suddenly grab and bite into carrion birds that land on them.

· A small stream in the Great Oakwood Ashes appears polluted and purple tinted.

· Gently falling ash is persistent in Great Oakwood Ashes.

· Baron Nole’s estate is the most intact structure in the entire region, covered in ash.

· Some hollow Coin’s Knights in Nole’s estate are missing limbs or pieces of torso.

· Baron Nole appears emaciated, except for his protruding belly.

· The Mulch Pile structure stands overlooking the Barren Plains, the bottom of the structure is a filthy trough. An enormous pit inside flows into the trough. The pit is overflowing with a pile of filth and bodies.

· Hollows pray and clamor at the trough below the Mulch Pile.

· Looms of the ‘loose woven cloth’ run to bloody counters next to the Mulch Pile.

· The Mulch Pile structure has hanging meat hooks and cages.

· Most of Castle Demetia is crumbled or burnt, the structure rises into the air but is full of holes, floor gaps, and missing walls.

· The throne in Castle Demetia is made of oakwood, but has rotted.

· Hollowed knights in Castle Demetia are not wearing armor and fight with sticks or bare-handed.

· A Coin’s Knight can be found inside the remains of Queen Alta’s room.

· Queen Alta’s corpse is found praying to a withered sapling, beyond a room guarded by Knight Cevert.

· Hollowed Heralds can be found in other nations around Demetia.

#Dark Souls #Soulsborne #Dark Souls fanfiction #Worldbuilding

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