#captain price from the truck behind them: am i tweaking??

[fanficsforheartandsoul]

Russian!Reader: Roadtrip pt. 2

Reader in the driver's seat next to Soap:

Soap: There's a car trying to over take us.

Reader: I wouldn't try that if I were him.

Ghost from the back: Why do i have a bad feeling-

Soap: Ohh, there he comes.

Reader, calmly: Hold this for a second.

Soap: What do you mean hold- why are you LETTING GO OF THE STEERING WHEEL- WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GUN, Y/N WHAT THE FU-

Reader, leaning out of the window shooting at the other car's tire: Пошёл на хуй!

[the-innefable-idiot]

You’ve made your choice, my love

Hello yall!

This is my first fic EVER posted and I am quite excited!!! 

Since this is my first time doing this, I am still lost on technicalities, but I am learning. This fic is almost 1.8k words and I am SO PROUD huisadhdsuisda

Here is the AO3 link. Since I am used to ONLY read stories there, I still don't know what I am doing, so please HLEP. 

Also, bear in mind English is not my first language and I didn’t beta it, so every feedback is welcome. I am talking not only plot and characterization, but also grammar and punctuation.

I have a 3k fic on the way, it just needs some tweaks here and there. It has a polyamory take on the Forrest/Alex/Michael dynamics from another fic by @spaceskam. 

This fic in particular was the following prompt by @tookmetwice: “Guerin sees Forrest coming out of Alex’s house and Alex kissing him goodbye. The ensuing conversation where Alex tells Guerin to fuck off and that he’s no longer his fucking doormat.”

Please, enjoy!

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You’ve made your choice, my love

Alex woke up to a light snoring by his side. This time Forrest was the big spoon and Alex felt good, safe. He tried to get out of bed without waking up the historian, but military men shared the trait of light sleep.

"Good morning." Forrest said lazily while stretching. "What are the plans for today, captain?"

"First and foremost, take a shower. Every time you convince me to stay in bed after sex and everytime I regret later when we get all sticky and gross." Alex said while reaching for his crutches. Forrest grabbed him by his hips and tried to bring him back to bed. "Then we’ll have a nice breakfast you will cook, by the way, and then you’ll go to the library to continue your research while I go do my secret Mr. Robot stuff at the base."

Forrest went for a kiss, but ended up kissing Alex hair as he turned his head. Alex stood up and went to the bathroom, but came back a few seconds later with a fake exasperation.

"You can come, but let it be known I’m doing this only to save water."

Both men tried their hardest to keep the act, but Alex couldn't stop laughing when Forrest tried to fling himself out of bed and ended up falling on the floor, his feet tangled on the covers. Once back on his feet, the historian followed the man to the shower.

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After going through their morning plans, Forrest was ready to leave. He was by the door when Alex pulled him to a passionate kiss. They were in what was considering "the honeymoon phase" and Alex was discovering the wonderful world of public display of affection. Lately he has been the one initiating the platonic touches in public, experimenting his limits in many different places and scenarios. If Alex kept going like this, they would be snuggling in The Wild Pony in no time.

Even though Alex was the one pushing Forrest to go to the library, he was also the one holding him at the door with kisses that made Forrest's legs feel like jello. 

"Text me when you are done in the library. I really really want to drink a milkshake." Alex said fondly, their faces not too far from each other, while his fingers were running through the blue hair, taking them away from Forrest's eyes.

"Yes, captain.” Forrest said smiling, channeling all the energy he had to get out of the sweet embrace Alex had him in. God, he could stay like that till the end of time. “Love you, captain." He whispered before leaving. Forrest heard the other man shout a "love you too, dork" as he entered his car. When he turned it on, he heard a loud noise coming from nowhere in specific. Someone must've broken something heavy made out of glass somewhere nearby.

As Forrest turned the car and got out of sight, Alex face changed. His smile and relaxed demeanor turned into a stiff posture. He knew the glass, wherever it was, didn't shatter naturally. He knew the source for it before even seeing him walking by. He was way too familiar with the light curls, the cowboy swag and the smell of rain that came after shattered glass.

"A Manes man being all lovey-dovey with a Long." Michael had a bitterness in his voice that just made Alex fell so tired. "I must wonder what circle of hell I am in."

"Damn it Guerin, why do you make this so hard? I thought we were getting better at the whole 'sup bro' thing"

"You do know what the Longs did to Liz' family, right?"

"Oh yeah Guerin, because the main take away from our lives is that bloodlines define who we are entirely. Not a chance to be different. Sure, congratulations for you. Do you want a fucking gold star?"

Michael was taken aback by Alex' outburst. He was so focused on his own frustrations that he didn't think Alex would return the sentiment.

"I’m just sayin’ it’s pretty convenient he showed up around the same time as your father. I didn't think you were the type that fell for the first hot piece of ass that crossed your way." Michael knew it was a low blow. He didn't want to admit he was doing it on purpose, a petty act of self-destruction, really. 

"Guerin, are you mad because I'm dating a Long or because I am finally falling in love with someone that isn't you?" The silence was deafening, and it was all Alex needed. "That's what I thought."

"Don’t blame me for this, Alex. What we had was good, fucking cosmic, and you kept running away."

"And yet the first time I am willing to change, the one time I go after you to give us a chance, you leave me behind and choose another person the next day."

"How could've I known you were willing to change? I was so used to you leaving that I couldn't believe you."

"I told you things that night I never told anyone by then. You know how hard it was for me admitting those things." Alex sighed, running his hand through his hair. He was getting louder, so he focused to soften his voice for his next words, which he would maintain for the rest of the conversation "I know Max was in danger that night. I mean, he fucking died and that scarred you. I get it. But you told me to come back the next day and I did. And I waited. And waited. And waited while you were with Maria. You made your choice."

"I..."

"Shut up, Guerin. After that day you made sure I knew who you had chosen. You chose Maria over and over and over again, and I never complained. It hurt, but I tried my best to support you both. That means being a fucking adult."

"I never looked away, Alex."

"Yes, Guerin, you never looked away, but you also never went after me. You never chose me the same way you choose her. I never got to say goodbye the first time I left because you chose to be in jail." Alex was letting out all the resentment, hidden for years, locked in a deep place that he never dared to open. Until now.  "You... knew you had the power to change my mind, you knew that we could come up with a plan to run away together."

Alex sighed, all the frustration now turning into exhaustion.

"I wanted to tell you I was leaving to escape my family, not you. That in a year or so I’d be back, luckily with a good salary, and that we could get the hell out of here. I was going to beg for you to stay put for me, but you chose to be locked up instead."

Tears threatened to fall, but Michael was determined not to cry. He knew what Alex was talking about, pillow talk back then consisted on fantasizing what was just said, but Michael was a coward and always chose the easier path. Now he sees he's been paying the price for it.

"You loved me and I loved you, Michael. Hell, I think this conversation only proves we still love each other. But what I am discovering with Forrest is that sometimes love is not enough. A relationship requires tenderness, respect, vulnerability. We never had the chance for this. We were drowning in trauma after trauma and we couldn't handle it back then."

Michael dropped his shoulder, suddenly feeling the weight of everything he has ever done. Alex managed to put into words what was going on between them both since the beginning, and Michael hated it, because they were true.

"Guerin, we were cosmic the same way black holes consume the light out of the stars around it. It wasn't healthy. It still isn't. And I won't accept your jealous outbursts because I am choosing someone that isn't you. Of all people, you won't be the person that makes me feel guilty for being with Forrest. I won’t allow you to do this. Why can't you just be happy for me?"

What hurt the most for Michael wasn't the words coming out of Alex' mouth, but the way he was saying them. Alex wasn't angry, wasn't throwing things around or screaming at him. He was just tired. He was saying those things not to vengefully hurt Michael, but to confess something he has been carrying around for years, his voice was flat, almost emotionless. Michael would take a thousand a rage outbursts instead of this… emptiness.

"I don't want to lose you, Guerin, but I think we need to take a step back. Maybe you were right, and we are not ready to leave the tortured lust phase. You don't need to come in person here, just text me and I will answer you as soon as possible." Alex turned to close his door, but hesitated, pondering for a few moments what he was going to say next. "Once you accept I chose someone else, we can start socializing again. Just… get your shit together and we may try again the 'sup bro' stage, Michael."

And with that Alex closed the door, leaving Michael with his own thoughts. 

He doesn't quite remember getting in the truck and leaving Alex' house. He was supposed to meet Maria and Kyle for something, but apparently he sent them a text message saying he wouldn’t show up. He remembers driving to the middle of the desert and screaming until he lost his voice. He could feel losing control of his powers, the ground shaking and rocks violently flying around. He doesn't remember driving back to the airstream and collapsing on his tiny bed. He noticed his throat hurt moments before losing conscious, but he didn’t do anything about it, the pain was almost welcome. He woke up 20 hours later with a worried Isobel invading the place to see if he wasn't dead.

This problem has always been in the back of his mind, but now Alex brought it up to the surface and now Michael has no other option but to face it. Maybe he made the wrong choice the day Alex left for the military when they were teenagers. Maybe he made the wrong choice when he didn’t fight for Alex when he came back to Roswell a decade later. Maybe he made the wrong choice the day after his brother died. And now he has to confront the consequences alone.

The end

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Hope yall enjoyed!