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asherlockstudy · 1 year

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What are your thoughts on today's EB? I enjoyed every bit of it, it entailed a convo that was a long way coming for Link. I personally thought Rhett tried his utmost not to hurt Link even a little as he attempted to make him see the full picture regarding his social behaviour, it was so sweet and endearing.

I did something stupid. Even though I knew it was an important EB, I did not keep notes like that other time a few weeks ago. Also it was a kind of emotionally charged day for me too so everything’s a little bit of a mess in my head and I am pretty sure I won’t remember everything I was thinking at the time I was watching. It was a lot. This was a checkpoint in their podcast, in many ways.

When the podcast starts and Link is back from his trip, Rhett is still a little off. So even though some days must have passed, there is still something up between them. This is again something clearer on Rhett’s side. He is the one who’s antsy about something and Link responds to that. So, whatever the initial situation was, it was almost certainly Rhett who took an issue with it.

Rhett stings a little: “Don’t feel any obligation to listen to it” (his solo podcast), “You’re too busy for that”, “You know me well enough to not need to listen to me talk without you there”. I am pretty sure Link was joking there, but Rhett was responding more seriously and slightly bitterly. Furthermore that last thing is something I would bet Rhett feels it isn’t mutual; that Rhett can’t easily be absent and not care about what Link might say in his absence. Ironically enough, this eventually becomes the central theme in the podcast.

Then as Rhett explains why he’s taking the next week, he reveals how they barely saw each other in March and April and he is calm but you can see he is pissed about it. Maybe the tension has something to do with this after all. Link is a little defensive there, maybe for the cameras, saying they saw each other plenty, to which Rhett has to bite his tongue and take a sip from his cup. This makes me think that Rhett might consider Link partially responsible for the very little time they had together during these months. But this brought back memories of peak needy!Rhett during the 2020 covid carantine 😅

To reinforce his vibe of neediness, Rhett next blames Link for not persuading him to learn scuba diving earlier, saying it was an awesome experience that they needed to share together. At this point, Link is parts startled and amused, because he is secretly flattered by Rhett’s neediness. Link sort of explains that he just wasn’t used to being the one to take the initiative in their relationship and I sense there was some fear of Rhett rejecting / criticising his suggestions, but also Link almost certainly didn’t enjoy scuba diving as hugely as Rhett, that’s why he undersold it a bit in Rhett’s perception. Link feels that he has invested so much in Rhett, that there is a nasty defensiveness coming out of him in the weirdest of moments. Which is why when he has alternatives, he doesn’t want to show he needs Rhett so badly in order to do something. Rhett responds to that bitterly as well, saying: “Well, I would have begged you. Just saying”. So, you see, different love languages. But Link smiles through it, because of Rhett’s loving whine.

Skipping to the ski pass thing. This is so much more TRIVIAL than anyone made it to be, meaning Rhett and Jenna and Christy. Their reactions were SO dramatic. Okay Link messed up a bit but he had paid for all these passes and he went in with the confidence of the payer, you know. He didn’t think that they would ask all his autobiography for a ski pass. Obviously, the right thing to do was to ask for a change of the data on the pass in advance. Obviously, he should tell the truth from the beginning. But what he thought and it’s understandable was “Oh shit, the card has Michael’s name on. That’s okay, I’ll say his name and she will let me in”. He didn’t expect the age would be on there too and that this would lead to further questions. It was understandable and quite possible to happen. And I do understand his argument about Angie being more abrupt than she should. Clearly, he was there with three other teens following him eagerly, like jeez. And even if I knew she was doing her job, I would too get irritable if I had paid for a shitload of passes that my friends were not utilising and then it was me getting dragged in front of 75 people like a thief or a kidnapper. I am not saying it’s the clever thing to do but it is human and understandable and Jenna and Rhett acting so dramatic about it was excessive in my opinion. I found Christy’s insinuations cruel in this instance too. It was clear that Link didn’t think everybody owed him to pass, he just didn’t think there would be any issue since he was the one paying anyway.

EDIT: At this point I decided to take my time with the ask and rewatch important parts

This simple incident provokes a more serious conversation. However, the conversation actually went sideways. The original topic was how and why Link instinctively chooses to escalate situations without a ground reason for it. However, as Rhett tries to explore it, they accidentally find themselves in deeper waters.

Anyway, Rhett starts analysing how Link never considers how a situation can get out of control in his interaction with people and how everything - even the amount of care you have about what people think of you - should be in moderation. Link is open and thankful for Rhett’s feedback, even though he feels defenceless, and Rhett kind of mellows down. The interesting thing is that this is not the main point concerning either one of them deep inside and you will soon get what I am saying. In his attempt to defend / explain himself, an apologetic speech about how he has learned to rely for everything on Rhett comes out of Link and it is like an indirect apology for not persuading Rhett to scuba dive with him. But this was something that was produced out of many twists and turns and it wasn’t exactly the point of what the conversation was at the moment (escalating situations and expecting someone else will always handle it), so it was more like Link found a small, irrelevant moment out of the blue to apologise to Rhett than anything else.

Rhett sees the green light and goes deeper and explains how Link being himself without filter might sometimes involve him in situations uncalled for. Link grimaces through this and after a deep breath, him trying to collect himself, asks Rhett’s opinion about the incident in the movie theatre. While it is implied the situation escalated somewhat, they did not talk about the escalation but the beginning of the interaction only. Rhett then becomes real and gets closer to the source of his own frustration; he feels like he can’t enjoy himself in a social situation because he has to always monitor Link. Furthermore, an escalation might eventually ruin their night out or also Rhett can often feel swallowed and overshadowed by Link’s so strong come-on entrance.

But was this Rhett’s only problem, especially about the guy in the theatre? The awkwardness? Let’s see some specific parts of their conversation:

Link: You say I try to connect aggressively, that I try to put myself out there.

Rhett: And if you want to go to parties by yourself and do whatever you want to and see where the cards fall…. But what I am saying is when you go somewhere with me, or with your wife or with a friend, just so you know, it is the thing they are preoccupied with, is a sense of “okay, is he gonna do something that kind of makes things a little bit awkward for what it feels like his own entertainment?… And maybe it is like a “hey, I am going to… I wanna connect with somebody”… and it’s like-

Link: It IS for my own entertainment.

Rhett: I think there is a common root, like “I am gonna say this thing in this situation; I’m not taking my phone out”, is the same, there is a common root to, “I am gonna come into this group and just say something that makes people feel uncomfortable because it’s kind of fun. And you know what, a lot of times it’s actually gonna lead to a stronger connection with somebody….”

Rhett looks quite pointedly at Link.

Link: I just don’t understand why, I mean, in my mind though, talking about my neurosis of me picking out the brand of shoe I am gonna wear to this movie was something that I thought this guy would get a kick out of and he might enjoy meeting me?! (*scoffs*)

Rhett: Yeah but… all I am saying is there is a sort of ribbing.

Am I wrong to believe there might have been another problem bleeding in in Rhett’s complain and Link had picked up on it and it was the one he was actually reacting to? In a rare occasion, Rhett asks Jenna if he’s making any sense and she is slightly confused and it’s because he is saying one main thing but there is also another thing bleeding in, which makes the dialogue a little complicated.

You see, while Rhett doesn’t say anything specifically negative about it, his posture, gestures and expressions have an accusative tone regarding the implication that Link tries to monopolise people’s attention so much that it might lead to a deeper connection later. And while Link listens thoughtfully, this is the one thing he reacts to. He actually said: “Do you really think me starting a joke conversation about my neurotic shoe concerns was me hoping the guy would want to meet up with me later?”

Like, he said that. That’s what he asked. And then Rhett says “No, but there’s a ribbing” before masterfully shifting the conversation.

Rhett was going so deep about this out of a place of wounded ego, if not jealousy. He questions the reasons Link wants strangers’ attention so bad, even if it is in a positive or negative way. He puts the thought out there that maybe there is something else Link wants but if it is so (wounded ego), then at least Link should not go about it when it’s Rhett or his wife escorting him. Then he concedes that it might be superficial, a playfulness, a ribbing, but it still makes Rhett feel like he is not there, like Link wants something else. I am not saying that jealousy was the central topic in this discussion, but it was something that was bleeding in due to Rhett’s frustration and it was the primary thing that Link wanted to clear the air about.

You think I am stretching this? Let’s move forward.

Link at this point makes it clear that he welcomes Rhett’s feedback and stresses many times that “they are on the same side, that there is only one side”. This softens Rhett visibly. However, Link also points out that this conversation could have happened only between the two of them and that it would be “a little different” in private.

Link then explains how he wants to let go in social situations and he somewhat selfishly likes the feeling of having someone look out for him. Rhett describes this as “living with no filter”.

In Link’s exact words: “I think there’s so much of my life that’s like, I think so hard about it that if I can get out of my head and just get into, like, living, then it feels so good because there’s - I am just trying to explain myself. I am not defending myself. And so it helps me think there’s other things to take into account. Like, I have this desire… in a party setting where there is no stake. I feel like there’s no stakes and it’s all just about fun. And whether it’s the critic in my own head or whatever it is, there’s a lot of crunching down. So in the places where I can let loose, I find myself letting loose in a big way because it feels so good”.

So what is he talking about here? So much of his life that he has to think hard about, that it feels great to let loose, to have the illusion that there are no stakes? Is this about their job? Didn’t he previously say they have CEO brains? Is this about family? Is this about private life?

The first time Link breaks is when Rhett reminds him that he loves some people and he sometimes needs to keep that filter on for the sake of these people. While Rhett carefully keeps himself now within the context of social interactions and escalation and aggressive introduction, Link at this point is emotional so he just says:

“I just wanna jump out of the plane, you know?”

Like, WHAT are we talking about now folks? Escalation and chaotic introductions? Is that really what we are talking about??????????????

Rhett does not comment on this phrase but he does describe how Link’s chaoticness (or his desire to jump out of the plane) becomes stronger and stronger each year. He interestingly says that 10 years ago (2012 - 2013, has it been THAT long? 👀) he would never be worried about what Link would say to other people but now he is constantly concerned. The funny thing here is that if memory serves me correctly, Link was always a little strange and bold in his interactions with people. In fact, Rhett was also less skilled and stranger in the past. So, is it Link being weird what concerns Rhett or the nature of Link’s “weirdness”?

Rhett says: “There’s been good growth in a way, like “I am embracing who I am, I am being myself”.

Again, what on earth are we talking about here? “I am embracing who I am, an escalator? A stranger’s teaser?” Is this still the point of the discussion or has the main point gone off the rails?

Rhett then comments that “there is such a commitment on Link’s part for expressing himself without filter”. And he repeats there is a growth but that this growth needs to be managed. Normally, though, when something can be characterised as “growth” then it is a positive that, if anything, would need less management, not more. Link’s “growth” apparently causes problems to himself, Rhett, Christy and potentially other people as well.

Why? Link explains this immediately afterwards: “Yeah I am not jumping out of the plane alone”.

“It’s a tandem jump”, Rhett agrees.

Tandem is the bicycle for two riders. So it’s not just Link who is about to jump out of the plane. It’s Rhett too.

But they quickly correct this, saying it’s a group of people. Me thinks, wives, families, employees, right?

Rhett then says, “And if there’s one guy who’s like ‘this is what I do and I jump out of a plane, I go as fast as I possibly can’, and they’re like ‘yeah but we talked about how we were all gonna… There is a plan! We are all going to do this together!”

And then Rhett kinda rephrases it but it’s too late at this point. You do realise this has nothing to do with aggression or teasing strangers or being unpleasant in social situations anymore, right? There is a mention of a plan. This has NOTHING to do with what they were discussing before. And what they were discussing before was not Rhett’s real issue! Again, there is a plan, for a tandem fall, and essentially a group fall!!!! Nothing to do with random awkward social interactions!!!!!!! It’s literally a totally different, much more serious topic discussed simultaneously!

Then Link stresses how a lot of it is enjoying interacting with strangers (apparently as his “grown” self?) and Rhett says this is evident, not without a hint of condescension, also implying how Link could become the guy who goes to things alone and talks strangers up. This kinda flies over Link’s head.

The second time Link almost breaks down is when he makes clear that he wants to go out with Rhett and enjoy their time together. And because Link never disappoints he saves it until the last second to make this crystal clear:

“What is this inside of me that wants to come out? Like, it goes out sideways and it… it is funny sometimes but other times it’s like… you don’t wanna, you know, I don’t wanna be the guy that’s giving people that are the closest to me a shitty time because I am having the best time of my life. That sucks.”

Link breaks for the third time. And he also just did the thing Rhett was imploring him all this time to not do. It really is a lost cause.

Now while everything at this point is clear, the one confusing thing for me is how removed Rhett is from all this emotionally, like he is not in sync with how Link feels, like it is not the best time of his life, and on one hand I am pretty sure it is because Rhett doesn’t want to jump off the plane yet and if it weren’t for Link wanting it that bad, he probably never would, but on the other hand it scares my selfish Rhink heart, as if this whole situation is just a Link thing and Rhett is just the supportive friend, you know what I mean? But it cannot be, right? This theory doesn’t agree with TLCOBC and Hazel and so many other symbolic things they have done. I was just confused when Link said he’s gotten this feedback from people that love him the most, not just Rhett. I guess or hope this meant family. But even Rhett looked confused with that lol

They wrap up this episode with Link inviting the viewers to write their thoughts he bets they have and Rhett mutters “Oh they do” but… judging from the comments they still don’t lol Or I am straight out imagining things at this point. I don’t know. As you see, I only used their words. So I really don’t know if everyone is so deaf or I am so delusional.

As a last note, I would like to mention that Rhett has softened considerably by the end of the episode compared to the beginning. I should also point out how many times Rhett repeated he loves Link in this episode. He hit a personal record. Probably because it was a tough topic and he didn’t want Link to think he blames him. My favourite moment was when he said “I say this in love” instead of “I say this with love”. Heh. And Link clearly blinked or turned to him every time. Sweet.

#rhink #Rhett and link #randl #r&l #ear biscuits #long post #long text #tw long text #anon #ask #mythical

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